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sitpwgs · 1 year

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Omg have fun at the Barbie movie! I'm so curious about it if you wanna give a short review. Maybe I will see it later this week on a cheap day. I think I've heard good things so far. Unfortunately I'm not sure if either show is going to work out at this point..and they are on the same day anyway lol. But I found out they will show it in another city nearby in a few months if so hopefully I can make it work then. I love Les Mis sooo much and was really excited cuz I haven't seen it before but it's also a really popular show and the balcony was all sold out, which never happened before. I thought I would be able to still get tickets the day of since that's what I usually do. We'll see what happens with the Paramore show but I'm hoping it works out. For surprise songs, I'm not that picky..it's more that I have a few that I wouldn't want..which is maybe 3 of what's left lol. I Can See You would be cool since she never performed it and it's become a new favorite. I like anything from Lover and Rep and older stuff like debut and Fearless too. I would be happy with one older song and one newer since that makes it interesting but there's nothing I absolutely hate either. I'm more worried that I'll like the surprise songs of the other show better since I'm only going to one show lol. What about you? Was your show tonight? Can't wait to hear your review of the show!!!

hi friend!!!! i had the BEST time at barbie!!! i sobbed through so much of it (but i am a crier). my friends and i all held hands at one point and cried and it was just such a 🥺 moment for me. and just so, so special to watch it with some of my closest friends. i am such a like, pink, barbie girl and i just really, genuinely adored it. i didn't know much about what the movie was going to be about going in but it exceeded all my expectations. i never felt like the movie dragged or was too long or didn't hold my interest. the costumes were stunning. the set design is beautiful; it's just a visually beautiful movie, and you could tell how much care and thought was put into every detail. i'm a sucker for small things like that, and i know there's a lot of references i definitely missed. i'm thinking that i might go see it again at some point, but i think i'll be too busy this week and then i'm in chicago next week for lollapalooza, so it might have to wait till i'm back. i definitely want to see it with my mom. i just ... i loved it. america ferrera totally blew me away, as did margot robbie. i just ... genuinely really loved this movie. there were some bits that just made me laugh (some genuine laughter, some nervous "oh this hits too close to home" laughter). and the soundtrack is so good — billie eilish's, dua lipa's and charli xcx's songs in particular were standouts for me! trying to hold off buying the vinyl right now, because... well, pink (and also because i am on a vinyl buying ban for now). oh noooo :( i'm sorry to hear about les mis, but i really hope that the other city will work for you! i am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you 🤍 it really is just such a special show and has such a special place in my heart (and i think it would have a special place in my heart even if i wasn't named after it). and this tour cast is so fun! i particularly loved gavorche; i left the theatre and was texting my friends about how phenomenal he was. and as i'm sure you've seen on my tumblr, i've been thinking about les mis a lot since. i started my reread/annotation project of it a little bit ago, and i'm trying to do "a book" a month, and then finish by the end of the year! i think i might rewatch the movie (or a bootleg of it) sometime soon, i definitely miss it. you'll have to let me know if you end up going to paramore! i definitely want to get into paramore's music more; i know some songs but i haven't done a discography deep dive yet. there's a lot of artists that i want to do that for and i used to be pretty good about listening to entire discographies while at work but i've mostly been lolla prepping and listening to the music of the artists we'll be seeing! i can see you is such a fun song! i'm really hoping she'll sing either foolish one or castles crumbling at my shows (i'm going both saturday and sunday) in terms of speak now songs, but i'll honestly be happy with anything and everything! i've been telling all my friends i'd love something from debut (especially since it isn't part of the setlist), but i'll genuinely be happy with anything she sings! i have a running joke with my friends that every surprise song we're like "i'm marked so unsafe :("/"this was such a loss for me" because we wanted to hear that song live — just a testament to taylor's discography, really! i hope you get songs that you love when you see her! are you going to the friday show or the saturday one? i'll be thinking of you next week! hope you have a good weekend, friend! 🤍 remember to drink some water + take it easy! hope you're enjoying your current read(s)!! x

#post: answered #🩷 anon

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sometimesiwritebadly · 4 years

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Rehearsal (Peter Parker x Reader)

Summary: Peter and you have to rehearse a scene for your theatre class, which just so happens to have a kiss in it. (Gender neutral reader!)

Prompts: 1. “Why would you do this?” 22. “This is the part where you kiss me.”

Warnings: good old fashioned fluff

Note: Lol this one kinda got away from me. I used a random number generator to choose the prompts and only expected this to be like 800 words max but I ended up with over 2k so. but I really like what I ended up with so I hope y’all do too <3 mostly from Peter’s POV btw. oh and I tried to keep it gender neutral but it’s natural for me to write with a female reader so let me know if I accidentally left a few she’s/her’s in there.

Word Count: 2.1k

Masterlist

Peter Parker is a nerd. He’s good at science and math, which is why he’s attending Midtown School of Science and Technology. Despite the STEM focus the school has, there’s still a requirement for at least one art-related class in order to graduate. When Peter chose an entry level Theatre class, he hoped it would focus more on the study of famous plays than actually having to stand on a stage and act. Peter was very, very wrong. For the first assignment of the semester, students had to pair up and perform a short, dramatic piece. He had been paired with Y/N Y/L/N, who he had a minor crush on. Ok, major crush. After he and MJ broke up last year, he honestly didn’t think he’d find anyone else for a while. But then Y/N transferred to Midtown, and he was whipped right from the start.

“Look man, you gotta use this opportunity to make a move!” Peter and Ned were walking down the hallway between classes, Ned trying to convince Peter again that this was a great chance to finally tell Y/N how he feels. “Just look up some cute scene for the two of you to perform! It’ll be like when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie fell in love on set!”

“I’m pretty sure they broke up, Ned.”

“Whatever. The point stands.”

The pair approached their lockers, where you were waiting. You had a few papers in your hand, which held your attention until you noticed Peter in front of you.

“H-hey. What’s up?” Peter tried his best to contain his stutter, but couldn’t help it. Y/N just had that effect on him.

“Hey Pete, I, um, I found some potential scripts for us to use for our assignment. I thought you could look over them before we rehearse at mine on Friday? I like them all, so whichever you wanna go with is fine...although I did put a star next to my favorite piece.” You handed half of the papers you were holding to Peter, keeping copies of each script for yourself. Peter noticed that the copies you kept had already been highlighted and annotated, while his were straight from the printer. Except for the small star at the top of the first script in his stack. Before Peter could respond, the warning bell began to ring, signaling only a minute to get to your next class. “Just text me whichever one you want, and we can walk to my place after school tomorrow to rehearse.” You said this as you began to walk away, giving Peter and Ned a small wave before you turned around to race to your final class of the day.

~~~

Instead of paying attention to his teacher’s lecture during Chemistry, Peter spent the 50 minute period reading through the scripts you had chosen. Peter already knew he wanted to perform the script you liked, but he was nervous. Your favorite scene happened to be the only one which called for a kiss, but he didn’t know if he had the guts to go for it. He could easily choose either of the other scenes and call it a day, but...well, was this your way of making a move? Had you intentionally chosen the script with a kiss to find out if Peter liked you? Did you like him? Or did you just choose that one because you genuinely thought it was the best option?

The bell rang, interrupting Peter’s thoughts and signaling the end of the school day. Hopefully a few hours of swinging through the streets of New York would be enough to distract Peter from thinking about you all night. For once, Peter was actually hoping New York criminals would keep him busy.

~~~

When Peter slipped through the window of his bedroom, his thoughts were unsurprisingly still revolving around you. Despite a somewhat busy night - two muggings, an almost-car crash, and one lost little girl now safely back with her mother - He still hadn’t been able to come to a decision. Half an hour ago you had texted Peter asking if he had chosen a script yet, and he still hadn’t responded.

“Just go with the script they want, Pete. Even if Y/N doesn’t like you, at least you’ll get to kiss them.” He thought as he removed his skin-tight supersuit and changed into some sweats and a t-shirt. He grabbed his phone from the pocket of his backpack, and, after another minute or so of arguing with himself, finally began to type.

8:31 pm

Y/N:

hey pete, have you decided which script you wanna do yet?

9:06 pm

Peter:

Uh, yeah. I think the one you liked is the best.

9:08 pm

Y/N:

yesss, i was hoping you’d choose that one. i have great taste ;)

9:08 pm

Peter:

Haha, yeah, you do. We’ll rehearse tomorrow after school right?

9:10 pm

Y/N:

yup! i’ll meet you by your locker again :) see ya tomorrow pete

Peter decided to let the conversation end there. Honestly, he had no idea what to think. What does “I have great taste ;)” mean? Is that a reference to the kiss? Does this mean they like him? Or is it just a joke? Peter sent a screenshot of the conversation to Ned for help, but Ned being Ned wasn’t helpful at all.

9:15 pm

Ned:

Just. Make. A. Move.

9:16 pm

Ned:

Betty thinks you should make a move too.

Despite his confusion and nerves over tomorrow’s rehearsal, Peter managed to fall asleep at a reasonable time. Hopefully tomorrow he’d get the answers he was looking for.

~~~

Peter waited by his locker after the final bell rang. As the hallways began to clear, he noticed you making your way over to him.

“Sorry, I hope you weren’t waiting too long. My English class is basically all the way across the school.” You looked nervous. Is that good? Or bad? Have you been thinking about the kiss too?

“Y-you’re fine. I’ve only been here for like a minute.” That was a lie. Peter’s Chemistry class was just across the hall from his locker, but you didn’t need to know that. After he finished talking, you seemed to lose all sense of nerves.

“I guess it wasn’t me causing the nerves then…” Peter thought, his mood dropping a little.

“Oh good. Let’s get going then, my apartment is only a couple blocks from here.” And so you began the short walk to your place. You made some small talk on the way there, talking about your other classes instead of the one class you did share.

“You have Mrs. Jenson third period right? I have her during fifth. Maybe we can study together for her tests...I know the school year just started, but I can already tell she’ll make her tests unnecessarily evil.” You said as the both of you entered your building.

“That’s a good idea, I know someone who took her class last year and they said she always had essay questions. Not to mention 5 choices for multiple choice questions instead of the usual four.” Peter responded. As he spoke, they headed towards the elevator, and Y/N pressed the button, causing the doors to immediately open. After hitting the number 4 on the wall, the doors slowly began to close. Despite the unfortunate news he was sharing with Y/N, his voice had a hopeful tone to it; They want to hang out with him again. Sure, it’s just loose plans to study for a test sometime in the future, but hey, he’ll take it.

“Damn. History has never been my subject, so I’ll definitely need the extra study time. I can never remember all the important dates.” Your phone buzzed after that, causing you to glance down at it. As you responded to whoever had texted you, Peter was left to his thoughts when the elevator began to move. It wasn’t until the elevator doors opened and you stepped out that the conversation resumed. “That was my mom, guess she’s gonna be at work for a few more hours. We can order a pizza if you want, I’m not sure how long we’ll be rehearsing today.”

“Pizza, uhm,” Peter’s voice cracked, “Pizza sounds good.” Peter cursed to himself, but if you had noticed his voice cracking, you had the decency to ignore it. You pulled your keys from your backpack, and unlocked the second apartment on the floor.

“Cool, I’ll order something online. Pepperoni ok for you?” You asked as you walked into the apartment, holding the door open for Peter. Peter only nodded, not really trusting his voice for the moment. He took a second to look around the place as you closed the door behind him. When you came into his eyesight again, you were looking at your phone, presumably ordering the pizza. “Since my mom isn’t here we can rehearse in the living room, it’s just this way.” Peter followed you as you led him across the apartment, then sat on the couch. He tried to give you space as you continued punching in the pizza order. While you were busy, Peter opened his own backpack and pulled out the script you had agreed upon. Last night he had highlighted his lines, although luckily for this assignment the teacher had mentioned that memorization was optional. After all, the school year had just begun and it was a beginner’s class.

“Ok, pizza will be here in like half an hour. Now we can get to work!” You quickly pulled out your own script from your backpack, and turned to face Peter. “Do you wanna just read through it a few times, then once we’re used to it we could start working out the blocking?” You suggested.

“Y-yeah, sure, that works for me.” Peter was relieved at this option; read throughs meant he didn’t have to worry about the kiss yet. “Your character starts, right?”

And so the two of you began reading through the script. It was short, only a few pages, and featured someone on the day of their wedding, and the man who was trying to convince them to leave their fiance. At first, the reading was a little awkward, as neither of you had any experience in acting, but by the third or fourth time you had gone through the script together, both of you were feeling much more comfortable. Instead of sitting away from each other on opposite ends of the couch, you were close, the way your characters would be. The blocking had even begun to take shape naturally, so you and Peter stood for the fifth reading, walking around the room, trying your best to embody the characters as they argued. This time, as you approached the end of the script however, Peter’s nerves returned.

“Why would you do this? Just barging in here on my wedding day?” You said, trying to act as frustrated and confused as you felt your character would be.

“You and I both kn-know you don’t love him! You’ll never be happy with him!” Peter tried to keep his nerves in check, but he knew what was coming.

“And how do you know I’d be happier with you?” Following the stage directions indicated on your script, you stepped closer to Peter. Instead of continuing with the scene, Peter just stared at you, no longer looking at his script. “Uh, Pete?” He still didn’t respond. You were confused, until you looked back at the script. You weren’t sure how you had forgotten, after all, this is why you chose the scene in the first place. “Peter, this is the part where you kiss me” You said quietly. You had taken his choosing of this scene to mean he liked you too, but you weren’t sure. His eyes widened a little at your words though, which made your confidence drop. “O-or not, um, we could do a stage kiss, or you could just kiss my cheek, or we could just cut it complet-” Peter cut off your rambling by putting his hands on your cheek and bringing his lips to meet yours. You were shocked, but easily melted into the kiss. He was gentle as he kissed you, his nerves disappearing the second you kissed him back. After a while, you both separated from the kiss. Neither of you spoke for a minute, just staring at each other.

“U-um.. that was ok, right?” Peter whispered, as you were still pretty close to him. You only smiled, and gave him another short kiss as a response. Before you guys could do anything else, there was a knock at the door.

“Pizza!” Someone said loudly through the wood. Before you could make a move, Peter had grabbed his wallet and was already walking towards the front door.

“I’ll pay...after all, what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you pay on our first date?”

#peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #peter parker #fluff

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dragonheadskilax · 3 years

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Gonna annotate about Leon’s entire character to y’all because he’s so so good, and every time I see someone say he’s a bad character for crushing on a man who doesn’t like him back i’m >:(

An archer born in a Zofian town. His manner of speech and conduct are unmistakably similar to a young lady's. He grew up care-free thanks to his parents and their laid-back environment. He was often teased for his effeminately good looks, and he always responded with a test of skill--which he would win, improving his reflexes. He joined the army to search for someone he could devote his heart to. When Valbar decided to accompany Celica, he naturally tagged along, and provided much assistance during the journey. He has a frank personality, saying what's on his mind; he's also the type of person who wears his heart on his sleeve. After the war, he became a merchant and it's said he lived a free and happy life.

The area of Zofia do follow Mila who is known as the goddess of love so considering how Leon is sappy and having the title “True of Heart”, Leon would totally be into lovecore aesthetic.

He may act feminine, use female gendered words in other languages, and would call himself a maiden, but as far as everything else he’s crude and mean and doesn’t hold back on filtering himself even if he’s talking to a kid.

Leon left home when he was young, so considering how this game series does have a thing of making 15 year old kiddies soldiers I’m guessing he left home at around that age.

To ‘wear your heart on your sleeve’ means to be honest and openly show your feelings or emotions. He’s painfully honest and drop hints he’s not straight.

"...Blerg. I don't like sea travel, and it sure doesn't like me. I'm nauseous, I'm sunburned, and I'm wind-beaten. I look like death's damp leftovers. But YOU look fresh as a daisy, Priestess! What's your secret? ...What? Nothing? NOTHING?! But you look like a dew-dappled angel! Augh, that's so annoying... Well, youth is great and all, but don't expect it to last."

There’s that painful honesty.

He sure does focus on his looks. He’s 24, smh Leon don’t think that you’re not gonna last past 30.

"Great. We finally get off that infernal boat, and now it’s the desert. Are you doing this on purpose, Priestess? Is it personal? *sigh* I want to get out of here before I dry up like a mummy. If I turn hideous and Valbar abandons me, it’s your fault. …What did you say? …Valbar isn’t the sort to judge people by their appearance? You think I don’t realize that? I know him FAR better than you! Gods, it really throws me when you’re so rational and correct…"

Still trying hard to get noticed by Valbar.

I like how he’s saying this particular line to a 17 year old, like chill, dude. Be nice.

"When I was a kid, there was this guy that I was head over heels for. He’s the reason I enlisted, actually. Just so I could stay close to him. He died in the first battle we fought. I cried so hard, I thought my eyes were going to float clean out of my skull. Valbar saved me from that. Every time he saw me, he’d take the time to say something. Cheer me up. What can you do with a man like that but fall in love? You’re thinking I’m a tramp, aren’t you? Well, I’m not. It’s hardly my fault that the world is full of wonderful, lovable people. Such a thing really motivates one to get out there and save it."

He made a big decision to leave home and enlist to follow a guy.. Now that he fell in love with Valbar he’s doing anything to follow him, too. I guess what’s different is it had been an unrequited love, even when it was suggested that Valbar knew about it it remained as a crush. Leon loves him at a distance so then he wouldn’t get badly hurt as he once had.

Him saying he’s not a “tramp” is a bit of info I like because people tend to wanna characterize effeminate gay characters as being touchy and wanting to peek at lotsa guys (which isn’t bad but there’s more than one type of guy), but not Leon, he’s more of a yearning for a soul mate kinda guy. He’s not big on lots of physical touch unless he really likes ya. "Hey, hey, now. No more of that." “I'm a friendly fellow, but not the touchy-feely type. All right?"

talking to Valbar “Heh heh. But it's fine. Emotions come in many forms, and as you say, there's no point in hanging on. I'm still glad I have these feelings, and nothing will change that.”

A crush is totally different than being in a relationship so like... I don’t like it when people say he’s a bad character for it. It totally happens to like someone but they don’t swing that way. In Leon’s case he keeps the crush because it feels safer and sappy to have it. Even if he tries his darnest to let Valbar get the hint he Loves loves him, when nothing happens he just accepts that.

talking to Valbar “Just realizing I've been a fool for feeling sorry for myself. Compared to what you've gone through, my worries are nothing.”

Despite the ol’ “keeping his heart on his sleeve” thing Leon has a knack of keeping negative feelings to himself. Probably the type who wouldn’t admit it because it doesn’t feel as big of a deal compared to other’s. This guy needs a hug so bad.

Kamui: “Oh, you're a laugh riot. But anyway, what do you think makes a good man?”

Leon: “Hmm. That's not easily summed up in a few words, but... for starters, he should be kind, strong and mature... while maintaining a boyish innocence. He also needs to listen, but be ready to tell the hard truths when necessary.”

Kamui: “Oh, come on. No one's that perfect.”

Some people take their conversations as being odd or random information or just to express again on how Leon’s gay but I wanna turn more attention on Kamui’s motive for asking in the first place. For someone who tries to not make people take him as gay, and explicitly so in the manga, he sure do wanna know what Leon’s type is if he’s got his eyes on Valbar.

Kamui is kinda right that no one could be perfect but Leon had been describing Valbar, when like,, they’re not even in a relationship… Leon honey… don’t hurt yourself like this. This leads to their next conversation;

Kamui: It's about… what you said before. So what would you do if Valbar ended up being.. the opposite of your ideal?

Leon: Well, that's an absurd question. But in the interest of humoring you and passing the time... Well, I suppose I'd set off looking for a man who met my perfect ideal. A journey like that might actually be kind of... fun.

Kamui: I think that's the first time you and I have agreed on anything.

Kamui could probably tell that Valbar isn’t ever going to return the kind of love Leon wants, and tries to learn what Leon’s thoughts are about that. Because even if he says he doesn’t care much about anything he seems to care about Leon. On the battlefield given his specific quotes for Leon and in these conversations. Kamui tells how his luck went south ever since joining in this journey and he’s only sticking around for the money, but that job he was paid for was done a long time ago at his recruitment quest. So he seems to hang around anyway for his sense of completion on things it seems.

The word ‘journey’ is like music to Kamui’s ears considering his history. It would be a fun writing idea actually of them traveling across Valm picking guys to speed date, well, like in the manga lmaooo but wider ranged.

This would be the first time Leon speaks nicely to Kamui instead of being standoffish and harsh. Kamui sounded really relieved for that. Then when Leon says he doesn’t like him that way Kamui instantly tries to back track lol

"Hello, Kiran! I've prepared some tea. Would you care to join me? I must admit, I was anxious when you first summoned me here. Ugh, don't laugh—it's rude! I may not look worried, but I have my fair share of concern, same as anyone else. Anyway, you've proven yourself more than capable, so I suppose I don't mind sticking around. To be honest, I am eager to return home... But that can wait, I think... Care for another cup?"

He says this when level 40 in FEH. So by this point he’s well acquainted with the player. Him admitted that negative feeling is once again that thing he has of keeping feels in to not seem it’s a big issue. And him wanting to go back home…. boohoo..

(If Valbar lives) Welcomed into the One Kingdom's Brotherhood of Knights, Leon remained at Valbar's side until an injury ended his fighting career. He then took up work as a merchant in the city market, where he lived free, happy, and dauntlessly true to himself to the last.

He better keep that good happy ending 👊

(If Valbar dies) Dealt a grievous blow by Valbar's death, Leon disappeared for a time before returning to join the One Kingdom's Brotherhood of Knights. There, he fought with the strength of a hundred men, and later served as an instructor to new recruits, contributing greatly to the order.

It’s messed up to think of Leon losing someone he loves again….. He should not go through all that again… Where did he disappear to.. Did he turn himself from twink to a bear to take the place of what would’ve been Valbar’s job if he lived (since Valbar ending would’ve been him becoming the instructor)

#dragon talk

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pebblysand · 4 years

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OF CRYSTAL ROSES (EXTENDED AUTHOR’S NOTE OF CHAPTER VI. OF CASTLES)

-- TO READ THE CHAPTER ITSELF, SEE HERE ON AO3 --

well, well, well. here we are. spoiler alert, gryffindors make plans they don’t stick to, lolz. all the good intentions in the world, i had. study, i said i would. yet, here were find ourselves, eighteen thousand words later. this appears to be how i roll. slept about five hours last night, too, so apologies if i’m slightly non-sensical/rambly. this chapter ought to be sponsored by deliveroo and teapigs tea, a brand of tea that appeared in my local supermarket a few moths ago and that i steadily refused to buy because - can tea really be worth this much? low and behold, once you’ve tried it once, it appears to be addictive. i’ve, while writing this chapter, worked my way through about four packs of their different teas - they are just this good. i have a job interview tomorrow so wish me luck in gaining employment which will hopefully fund my expensive habits.

now, before we get into the nitty gritty of the chapter, itself, i just needed to say this: i cannot thank everyone enough for the incredible response on last chapter. i’d kind of grown accustomed to getting a couple of reviews for each of them and to writing in my little corner of the internet but boy, you guys are bloody legends! i am so overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone who commented, kudo-ed and generally gave love to this fic in general. i really didn’t expect such a response and it’s meant the world to me. i think it’s probably also the reason why i’m posting so early because i kept being like, god, i can’t leave this many people waiting in this cliffhanger hell. i think this chapter ends on a more positive note (although, i’ll let you judge), one that might be more conducive of a few weeks’ wait (more on that below), haha.

this being said, as i explained on here before, i come from very tiny fandoms where basically everyone knows each other and the number of people reading would usually fit in my flat. the fact that over 80 people are now subscribed to this fic just blows my fucking mind. you’re all magnificent and i love you. i try to respond to all the comments so let’s keep chatting if you feel like it (although, no pressure - comment if you want to, but do know that it makes me very happy when you do :)). you’re all fabulous and i wish you all the best!

anyway, spoilers for castles, chapter vi under the cut.

guys, guys, guys, i am so tired. i’ve spent four days editing almost 20,000 words and my brain is fried. but, we are officially at the halfway point of this story, yaaaay!!! my plan, at this point, is that we’ll have six chapters on each side but even if i do end up splitting this one later (more on this below) i’ll end up with seven chapters on each side so either way - yay to the end of act 1!

i think that’s also why i tried to turn this chapter around this quickly. to me, i always kind of saw this fic as having two parts. part 1: the immediate post-war aftermath with the heartache and the love-fast/burn-fast start to harry/ginny. part 2: a slow and actually healthy rebuild of their relationship, and of the world around them. i have genuinely been writing towards that last harry/ginny scene in this chapter for months. it feels like such a relief to finally have that weight off my shoulders. and i actually do think it’ll allow me to focus on study later. act one is finished, and act two can wait a bit, i suppose.

now, obviously, given that i already apologised last time, part of me still wants to apologise for the length of this chapter, even more so, actually. it sits at about 18,000 words which, by nanowrimo’s standards, is over a third of a full book, wtf. yet, you guys also said last time that you didn’t actually mind long chapters, so perhaps i shouldn’t beat myself up too much?

as i said in the a/n, this is a little bit of different set up than chapter v. though. i know exactly where to split this. as you’ve probably seen by now, there’s a very natural split point after harry has his breakdown on the couch with ginny, before Christmas properly "starts." the reason i didn’t split this one there, though is: a) selfish: i needed to get this out. stop working on it. i need to study. when it’s out, i’m not thinking about it anymore. it would have been a bit non sensical to split this just for the sake of it and post two chapters at once, which means i probably would have held onto the second part for another couple of weeks, and fuck that. additionally, b) you may not have noticed this but: the chapter titles rhyme. why did i bring this additional difficulty upon myself, i do not fucking know. especially because i will soon run out of one-word construction materials to draw from, lol. as a result, though, i need an even number of chapters to close out this story and because i’m sort of planning six chapters from now to the end (more on that below) i can’t really split this one right now. like, if i end up with another overlong chapter in the next few months, i probably will take that opportunity and go back and split this one, just for readability. but at this stage, at this stage, because i don’t know how many chapters i’ll have for act two (six or seven), i’m keeping this chapter like this for the time being. i kind of hope i end up with seven chapters on the other side and am able to split this one down the line, but we will see. in the meantime, my most sincere apologies to the folks who read fanfiction before bed and it’s now 4 am by the time you’ve finished this. i’ve been there before, believe me.

from a personal standpoint, though, i have to say, this chapter (compared to the last one) was incredibly easy to write. i think i’d spent so much time imagining and writing these scenes in my head as kind of a culminating point for the first half of the story, that it quite simply poured out. i did have a little bit of an everything is shit crisis yesterday and today, but sure look, that always happens. overall, i am quite happy - i think - with the end result.

now, when i say "easy to write" i mean, technically, easy to find words to write down what was in my head. i do not mean: easy to write on an emotional level. oh boy. i’m generally not a crier. i have been asked, a number of times, by people who said my writing made them cry: do you cry when you write, too? and my answer was always ‘no’. i don’t judge, but i’m just not that kind of person. i know people who cry every day but personally, we are in the middle of a pandemic, my father recently passed away, i’ve lost my job and am studying for an exam my life is pretty dependent upon, and i haven’t cried in months. yet, i swear, there were a couple of times, both writing this and editing it, when i had to step away from the screen because i could feel a lump in my throat. that had never happened to me before. i didn’t, like, bawl or anything but god i felt it. i don’t know if it’s because it’s my first time killing an oc, someone who was really mine but boy. giulia. i kept trying to find ways not to kill her, or apologising to her. to me, she’s tom’s last victim and that really, fucking hurts. if you’re hurting too, i don’t really know what to tell you. i’m sorry, i suppose. her death was needed for … plot purposes, lol. god, i’m the worst haha.

re:harry/ginny: i must say i really like where they end up, at the end of this. i had planned this to a certain extent. i was always under the impression that they would talk over christmas, but not get back together. however, the reason why they weren’t getting back together, in my head, was initially quite different. i initially didn’t have ginny dating someone else. i think i mentioned i was toying with the idea in the a/n for last chapter, but at the time i wasn’t truly sold on it. then, i ended up writing the scene i’d originally planned for them and it didn’t quite fit. what i’d planned, at the time, felt rather ooc for ginny when actually on paper. on the other hand, harry, under my fingertips, kept trying to kiss her and i kept hitting the delete button. i swear, i know it sounds weird to people who might not be writers but sometimes, your characters really do seem to have their own agendas. when i caved, let him kiss her, then the scene took on a different meaning, and, i hope, a better one. i think something clicked there and it feels like a good place for act one to end. obviously, they’ll get back together cause this follows cannon so you know, not much suspense there. it’s more about the how than the what, to me.

re:ginny’s letters: this idea came to me a while ago, actually. i was thinking that they’d need to talk about what happened last year, but i was kind of struggling on the how. having character a tell a story to character b is always a bit difficult, in writing, because it can quickly end up being boring. like, when ginny tells harry about christmas last year and lupin, in this chapter, telling that in dialogue is already rather long an laborious, and it’s overall such a short story. for harry, it’s easy. i’m in his head so he can just say ‘he told her about the hallows’ and the dialogue can be about their reaction, rather than the events itself. but ginny, she needs to share facts, as well as feelings. and doing that through long monologues just didn’t appeal. first, it’s quickly boring and second, it’s also kind of ooc. she’s not giulia, you see.

i did entertain the idea of completely skimming past it. ‘she told him about last year and he was horrified.’ - moving on. but, i don’t know, that didn’t feel quite right either, because i think they need to exchange, and talk, and that just felt like a copout. also, to be honest, it’s a very difficult story to tell. like, i’ve seen people in fics being like ‘so, harry sat down all of the weasleys and told them everything the trio did in seventh year,’ and i’m like that’s so difficult, though. sitting someone down and telling them all about your trauma, with little preamble, just setting it all out there, i can’t imagine ginny (or, frankly, most people) actually doing that, you know? we reveal bits of ourselves bit by bit, not all at once.

then, it hit me: she’s a writer, isn’t she? at least, she is canonically in first year, with not only the diary but also the poems, then writing for the prophet. obviously, the diary thing would have riled her up a bit but i do think in the end, she would probably have been like: no, i won’t let him take writing away from me, you know? so yeah, letters. daily letters. you won’t see all of them in next chapter, but probably quotes from the most important ones, things that harry reads. that’s where he gets his facts about her story last year, and then they can focus on their feelings about it. fab! something to look forward to, haha.

now, re: the future. as i said, we are entering act two. act two will gradually become more "fun" and fluffy, i suppose, but i won’t lie, we will be keeping the same happy/sad vibe that a lot of you have commented on with this fic. it exists for a reason (as i said, life is about sex, but it’s also about funerals). as i said before, this fic is, above all, an exploration of what ‘all was well’ actually means.

this being said, this isn’t an 8th year fic. there is a very specific future pov from which this fic is being narrated, and that’s in october 2027 (i know, precise). obviously i have 28 years to get through in act two so that will affect the way that the timeline is designed. it will obviously be more spread out, especially in the later chapters. this being said, while i have about a million of ideas for all the space in between and a very clear view of what the last chapter will be, the exact layout of each chapter is still slightly blurry. i haven’t sat down to put all my ideas in chronological order yet, as well as into some sort of chapter structure, which is also why i can’t really tell if it’ll be six or seven chapters in the end. all of this to say, there’s still quite a bit of work to be done.

this means that, as i said in the a/n, i don’t think you’ll get next chapter until at least, may. please don’t think that this means i’ll be abandoning this fic or anything, it’s just that i’ll be doing work you probably won’t see. i’m probably going to take the rest of march off writing to study (bar maybe a roar-series Harry&Hermione friendship one shot? maybe) then take april to plan and write as much of the next chapters i possibly can. ideally, by the end of april i can have a first draft of the whole thing. i desperately want to write as much as i can now that I’m jobless in the hopes that when i do find a job (again, interview tomorrow, pray for me), i can just have editing to do at the weekends. but we all know i relate to harry on a very deep level when he says ‘when have our plans ever worked, anyway?’ so we will see, haha.

anyway, these were all the thoughts off the top of my head, re: this chapter. if you have any questions or other things you’d like me to ramble about, feel free to send in questions, my ask box is always open. i know i probably think about this fic (and hp) way too much but i’m an extrovert and my hobbies used to include travelling, pints at the pub, dating and, well, there’s none of that anymore, is there, lol? the uk has stolen our vaccines (fucking brexit) so here’s to being obsessed with fictional worlds i wish i could live in for a while longer,

i will now go and endlessly refresh my email for reviews and kudos, like the attention seeking basic bitch i am haha.

have a fab evening, everyone!

#castles #is out baby #whoop whoop

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chaoticspacefam · 4 years

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OC Music Meme

I was tagged by @raven-of-domain-kwaad , thank you! :D I shall tag (no pressure as always, only if you want to!): @mercurypilgrim , @mimabeann, @rainofaugustsith , @thelastenvoyyy , @a-master-procrastinator and anyone else who wants to do this one, yes, I promise I mean you!

Yaaay another music meme, I LOVE these, as any of my long-term followers/mutuals probably know :P Oh no, Raven what have you done! 🤣🤣

List one or more songs that relate to the following

*drags Rai and her three consecutive playlists full of songs in here and plops her down proudly* Now I’m not joking when I say combined her three playlists would run for ~10 hrs if I played them all back-to-back. Sooooo for that reason I will be trying to restrict myself to 3-4 songs per “question”, except for the last one which is annotated with an explanation there, ANYWAYS!

reminds you of them most:

Down To The Bottom - Dorothy :: This is a very new one to her playlist (discovered a few days ago), but it still vibes so well with Saarai’s attitude to love, and her need to have some sort of emotional closeness to other people, to love and be loved, or else she just doesn’t function quite right

Up The Wolves - The Mountain Goats :: This was one of Rai’s first EVER theme songs that made it onto her list as I gave the Ahaszaai the backstory that led to them becoming main characters, so it feels only right that I include it here. To me it perfectly sums up her character progression, from a frightened young woman with a lot of skeletons in her closet and no willingness to be a commander of anything or confidence that she could, to a strong and dedicated leader willing to do whatever it takes to protect the people she works with, and make sure that the person who once took it from her family will suffer the righteous justice he deserves for his actions. Oddly enough, Saarai never goes back to take over the Sith Empire as D’leah planned (in Subterfugeverse anyways), they do eventually “come home” and build something of their own with the other members of the Alliance <3

Bruno Is Orange - Hop Along :: This song is very important too. It makes me feel a lot of things and as I developed more of Saarai’s backstory and began tying everything together, it became an essential part of her backstory. This is 100% a “Saarai Song” in my brain (and I’ve had the script for that meme planned out for over a year, I’ll get to it soon :3), summing up the chaos and her own feelings on what happened with Tsâhis (and her mother and sister’s reactions to finding out about what happened, and Ty, the baby which resulted from that clusterfuck of a relationship)

Someone New - Hozier :: Kinda supplements “Down To The Bottom”, Saarai was a character who puzzled me sexuality-wise for a long time, she has a lot to unpack and a lot of nuances in her attractions, and for a long time (because it is the default for modern media) I tried to shove her in the monogamy box, except...that doesn’t work for Saarai LMAO. I remembered this song existed one day (I think it came up on Youtube shuffle or something) and it was the lightbulb that went on in my head that finally clicked and told me she was actually polyam as well (though ironically I forgot to actually put it in her playlist until @darth-bagel reminded me it existed again a few months ago LOL).

reminds another character of them:

All The Pretty Girls - KALEO :: (Sash - Zephyrverse AU) This one had a few options too, but I think this is the best song that Sash would associate with Saarai. Their relationship was slow burn, although there was near-immediate attraction there, Sash struggled with self-doubt and her own insecurities for a long time, firmly believing that Saarai would get bored of waiting for her to be “ready” to take things further and explore other options (she didn’t. They’ve been married something like 20+, nearing 30 years now, you’re stuck with her sweetie <3)

The Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy :: (Lana - Subterfugeverse) “I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you, but not as much as I do.” Lana wasn’t looking for Saarai when she found her, but Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Though Lana is a big pillar of support for Saarai, and Saarai in turn is the social “glue” that holds the Alliance together, what many people don’t realise is that the feeling is mutual and Lana relies upon her just as much. Saarai’s dependable, and trustworthy, even if sometimes she makes Lana want to roll her eyes into the ceiling because of her antics, she wouldn’t want to change her for anything, it’s that part of Saarai that she secretly loves the most because it reminds Lana that it’s okay to unwind and have fun or be silly every once in a while, especially with the people you love.

Shut Up And Dance - WALK THE MOON :: (Koth - Subterfugeverse) Koth’s relationship with Saarai took a lot longer to develop into something openly romantic because Saarai had a lot of stuff to work through before she could accept her own feelings for him, but the cantina party at the end of KOTFE was the moment that Koth realised she was comfortable with him, because it’s the first time she really opened up to him, the first time she asked him to do anything together, and the first time she didn’t flinch or jump away from him when he touched her.

reminds you of a relationship of theirs, doesn’t have to be romantic, can be paternal, friendly etc.: I’m taking that as an invitiation to do a song for each of the main ones of any kind and that means this one has like six songs because...Saarai has a lot of influencial relationships in her character arc, I’m sorry (but not really) :’)

Broken Crown - Mumford & Sons :: Saarai & D’leah (Familial, It’s Complicated). This one is probably gonna be the “controversial” song of this post but you know what I’m gonna do it anyway. Saarai and D’leah have a very complicated relationship, because on the one hand Saarai does love her mother very much in spite of the horrible things she said and did, and on the other...the last thing that she wants is to turn out like her. And sometimes, sometimes you gotta call your mom out on her toxic shit. Hey Brother - Aviici :: Saarai & Ni’kasi (Familial Love). “What if I lose it all? Oh sister, I will help you out. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you...there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do.” The “brother” part does not apply to the twins, gender-wise, but the essence of this song is undoubtedly Saarai & Ni’kasi’s relationship. When Saarai thought she had no-one else, Ni’kasi was there to pick up the pieces and get her back onto her feet. They’re ride or die till the very end, wherever Saarai leads, she knows Ni’kasi will follow her.

Son of A Gun - Lord Huron :: Saarai & Tsâhis (Romantic ”Love”, though I’mma be very clear here that he was a manipulative abusive asshole, but Saarai loved him so...quotation marks. Y’get it yeah? Good.) “Well she fell in love with that son of a gun, but he was not the man that she took him for.” This line in particular sums it up. Saarai was young, naive and a perfect target for someone like Tsâhis to take advantage of because she didn’t know any better and believed him when he said he “loved her”, only for him to pull the rug out from under her feet later on. (he got his tho, don’t worry 😈)

Youth - Glass Animals :: Saarai & Tyûk (Maternal Love). This is the closest I can find to a song that sums up their relationship, I have a lot of thoughts about it but there are very few songs (that I’ve found) that touch upon the essence of Saarai & Ty’s relationship. D’leah chose to blame Ty for his father’s actions, Saarai chose the opposite. She chose to love him in spite of what his father had done to her, and to make sure he grew up feeling safe, loved, and learnt to be better than that.

Curses - The Crane Wives :: Saarai/Sash (Romantic Love) Both Saarai and Sash have had difficult pasts, with a lot of emotional trauma, and they both had hurdles they had to overcome in order for their relationship to truly work and stay healthy. But with each others’ support, they’ve managed it and are all the closer for it. If you asked either of them where “home” was, they’d say the other’s name.

Sorry I Stole Your Girlfriend - Stereo Skyline :: Saarai/Lana/Koth (Romantic Love). Okay, I really really wanted to pick a more serious song from their playlist for them, BUT....this song is the song that started this ship in my brain so here we are. LMAO Originally, this popped into my brain as an idea of Saarai’s response to Koth’s attempt at getting between them in that scene of KOTFE on the Gravestone. Koth and Saarai’s moral compasses are very similar and I wanted them to sit down and have a proper, healthy discussion about their feelings instead of becoming enemies and sort of agreeing not to hold a grudge against each other, though I didn’t expect for that piece to get away from me and for Saarai to end up developing feelings for Koth too, I can’t say I’m unhappy with it. I love them and I will fight anyone who tells me I can’t make them an OT3, I can, I will, and I have. >:) (Healthy Polyam Good, Love Triangles Are Fucking Stupid (tm). No I am not taking criticism on this lmao) Though Saarai & Koth’s relationship isn’t sexual in any way, they love each other just as much as they love Lana, just express it differently. So even though the snideness of this song doesn’t really apply to them, I kept it in their playlist and it also became their ship name because it was too good to pass up, though “Stole” is in inverted commas as it’s definitely more of an inside joke between the three of them than actually seriously accusing them of stealing each others’ girlfriend. 🤣 (as always, Saarai & Koth thinks it’s hilarious, Lana rolls her eyes at the stupid pun but also secretly thinks it’s funny as hell)

#swtor #star wars: the old republic #swtor OCs #tagged meme #OC music meme #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #sith pureblood #the outlander #LS! eternal empress #subterfugeverse #ot3: sorry i ''stole'' your girlfriend #saarai/lana/koth #saarai x tsâhis #zephyrverse au #saarai/sash #the ahaszaai twins #the sith twins #yes i have written down a lot of stuff regarding the ot3's relationship and how it developed etc #one day i will throw them out into the world when i feel like they're ready #but they're not ready yet so sorry y'all you gotta wait #but trust me when i say this is very elaborately planned out #LMAO #[banging pots and pans] they're. poly. and. in. love. fucking. deal. with. it. or. leave #my ships my rules #complicated mother daughter relationships are complicated #projection? i don't know her #no sir #tw: manipulation #tw: abusive relationship

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inspired-by-the-music · 4 years

Text

Romantic: Junmyeon x Reader

Genre: fluff and happy endings; two literature teachers with feelings

Word Count: 2.5k

Note: y’all Suho has me feeling some kind of way & i just had this idea for this drabble (is it really a drabble? i went overboard lol) because i have been reading SO MUCH bc such is the life of an English major. so like... brace yourself for some total nerd talk? writing this was so much fun

"Why aren't we together?" Junmyeon's gentle whisper draws your attention away from the novel you have been annotating in preparation for your Gothic Literature lecture.

How long has he been standing there? You wonder, looking up to find him sitting in the chair on the other side of your desk. A cup of coffee stands tall to the right of your mug that has long gone cold. He brought you coffee from that cafe down the street again. Raising his eyebrows, he takes a long sip of his drink-- probably green tea-- and you notice that his glass is half empty.

Oh. He's been here for a while.

"I'm sorry." You smile, embarrassed, while closing the book. As if they threaten to distract you from Junmyeon, you turn over your notebook to free yourself from the gaze of your scribbled handwriting. "I didn't know you came in. You should have said something sooner."

"Ah, I know better than to distract you from reading," he begins as though he hadn't done just that moments ago. Setting his cup down at his feet, he leans across your desk, takes your book into his careful hands, and grins. "Frankenstein. Again."

Reddening at his quiet teasing, you explain, "It's for the class I'm teaching this afternoon."

He returns the book and, tapping on the title, he points out, "You didn't need to reread this. It is definitely one of your most frequent reads, so you know it like the back of your hand."

Just a few years your senior, Junmyeon is the youngest Associate Professor in the university's Literature Department. While your other superiors have taken a polite interest in your potential as the newest Assistant Professor, none are quite as interesting to talk to as Junmyeon. He is intelligent, well-spoken, and-- quite frankly-- charming.

His charms have little to do with his handsome face, perfectly styled black hair, or impeccable wardrobe (he looked like a literature professor in an almost fictional sense); they are more like personality traits that are expressed when he brings you coffee, when his knuckles knock on your door to ask if you will proofread the draft of his dissertation as if you are an intellectual equal, when hie tilts his head and thoughtfully furrows his brow after asking your opinion on the Drama Department Productions he insists on watching at your side.

And now-- now he expresses his charm by winking, thus wordlessly reigniting a feud that was born soon into your first meeting. While your studies focus on Gothic Literature, his are dedicated to Romantic Poetry-- the poetry that boasts about individualism, idealizes nature, and details spiritual, emotional, and physical passions. Although your thesis explored Gothic themes as an extension of those Romantic ideals, you and Junmyeon have fallen into a habit of playfully arguing as if your fields are at odds.

"I won't apologize for having good taste. I'll stick to my Gothic horror stories." You reach to pull the book out of his reach. Holding the book safely in your lap, you bite back a mocking grin. "And you can stick to your Romantic--"

"Ah, there it is," he jabs an accusatory finger at you. "There's your air of superiority. I hate to remind you--" his smirk assures that he is all too happy to say-- "that your idol Mary Shelly and mine, Mr. Percy Bysshe Shelley, experienced the most passionate of loves. That means our areas of expertise must be somehow compatible."

Calling Mary Shelley your idol is perhaps an exaggeration, although you do admire her for writing Frankenstein, but you don't argue with Junmyeon about that. Instead, sounding very much like the youngest person in the room, you say, "I wouldn't really say that I ship Mary and Percy--" Junmyeon gasps, flattening his hand over his chest, over his beige vest. "I mean, their union was kind of scandalous. Mary was only, like, 16, and Percy's wife was pregnant--"

"It was true love!" Junmyeon claims.

You disagree, but you don't want to dissuade him from such a harmless conviction. You opt to joke, "Well, that's very Romantic of you."

Junmyeon often gripes about his students' tendency to confuse romantic (themes related to love) and Romantic (a particular movement in Literature), so you expect him to glare at you. He tries to, but he quickly succumbs to the desire to laugh at your pun.

"Okay. That was a good one."

No, you think, it wasn't. But Junmyeon has a particular interest in what you would call 'dad jokes,' so it is only fitting that he should wipe amused tears from his eyes as he recovers from his laughter.

As you set to drinking the coffee he had been kind enough to bring for you, he asks, "Did you actually hear what I asked you earlier? Were you just stirred from your studies by the sound of my voice? Or are you just politely withholding your answer?"

"Hm?"

He asked something?

A faint blush dusts over the bride of his nose as his gaze flickers to your bookshelf that is overflowing with textbooks, novels, and film adaptations of select works. He studies the shelves-- wheeling his chair closer to them so he can trace his fingers along the titles-- although he already knows their contents. From the shelf, he plucks a small artificial skull, a reference to a scene from Hamlet, and he turns it over in his hands.

He is uncomfortable. Not enough to leave your office, but enough to fix his eyes on the skull to avoid your curious stare.

It is clear that you shouldn't ask him to repeat the question, so you close your eyes and will the memory to the surface of your mind. What did he say to catch your attention?

'Why aren't we together?'

You must have dismissed it because you didn't understand its meaning. Together? In this moment, you are. You sit together in the same space talking about things that (although matter little to the rest of the world) are important to each of you. What other togetherness could Junmyeon want?

"I'm not trying to avoid answering," you say when the silence has endured far too long. "I just don't quite understand what you asked."

Gingerly placing the skull back on the shelf, he turns to face you. "I asked you why we aren't together." When you blink at him, confused, his discomfort dissolves into amusement. Laughter crinkles his eyes, and he exclaims, "You really know nothing about Romance!"

You are too grateful that his moody spell has passed to take genuine offense at his remark. "I know plenty! You're just not very good at explaining what you mean."

"I wasn't aware that I need to spell it out." His eyes glitter as they always do when he is ahead; he usually is ahead. "We understand each other. We share the same passions, the same interests, the same hobbies. Yet we aren't so similar that it's boring to spend time together; otherwise, we wouldn't have these long chats, and we wouldn't attend plays together, and we wouldn't be going to that art exhibit after classes today."

Anybody else might be unnerved by Junmyeon's habit of speaking in essays, but you embrace the challenge of following his point. Nodding him along, you quietly wait for his monologue's conclusion. You do not try to predict where his thoughts will lead.

"We spend a lot of time together, and we enjoy that, or at least I enjoy it."

If he would break to breathe, you would assure him that you do enjoy his company. He keeps speaking, though.

"Often-- more often than not-- we are together. And when I went home alone last night after we left the bookstore, I wondered why we aren't together. Afraid that I might make you uncomfortable, that I might ruin our relationship as it is, I decided that I should keep that question to myself. When I saw you sitting there, so deep in thought, and beautiful, I couldn't do it, though. I couldn't bury the question. I wondered aloud why you are not my girlfriend."

As if he hasn't ended his speech by dropping a bomb, Junmyeon's eyebrows shoot up, anticipating a response. Your replies are usually swift. Most of your time is spent quietly reflecting on a variety of questions. Usually, Junmyeon's questions are mere verbalizations of matters you have already considered. Usually, your answers are mere verbalizations of previously reached conclusions. Usually, his questions do not stun you into silence.

"Well," you stutter, and Junmyeon gawks at witnessing you jumble words for the first time. "I-- you know-- first of all-- I never imagined that someone like you would want someone like me."

Expecting that there must be more to your perspective, Junmyeon limits his reaction to a downward jerk in the corner of his mouth. However, as he realizes that you aren't prepared to say anything else, he leans forward in his seat, lowers his eyebrows, and his typically calm voice jaggedly confesses, "I don't know what you mean. What is the difference between 'someone like you' and 'someone like me?'"

"Just look at you!" You cover your face as soon as the words have blurted out of your mouth. Keeping your hand over your eyes so you don't have to see his reaction to your outburst, you continue, "Aside from the fact that you're much more beautiful than I--"

Uncharacteristically, Junmyeon interrupts. "I disagree."

"Wait your turn." You drop your hand to shoot him a warning glare. "You'll derail my train of thought."

"Some trains should be derailed." He crosses his arms over his chest. "I am not more beautiful than you. Even if I were-- and I am not-- that is no reason why we shouldn't be together. Appearances shouldn't matter."

It's impossible to decide if you're blushing more because of Junmyeon's insistence that you are beautiful or because you have said something so shallow. Reaching again for his drink, he gestures for you to continue your response.

"Um, appearances aside, you are older than me. You're smarter--"

"I disagree," he repeats shortly. A line deepens between his eyebrows. "I'll concede that I am more educated, but that does not mean that I am more intelligent."

You allow, "be that as it may, you are technically my superior. I am an Assistant Professor, and you are an Associate Professor."

Junmyeon replies, obviously disheartened by your response so far judging by the slumping of his shoulders, "There is no dating ban among faculty."

"That's not the issue." Your face burns. "I'm just-- I'm trying to explain that we aren't together because I have never considered that you were interested in anything other than a professional acquaintanceship."

Laughing, he repeats, "Acquaintanceship." He smiles fondly while joking, "I've heard of friend-zoned, but never acquaintance-zoned." Once he is no longer amused, he admits, "I do want more than a professional acquaintanceship, and I want more than a friendship."

As your blush deepens, he leans back into his seat, flustered. "I understand if you don't feel the same way. Take all the time you need to explore your feelings, but if you decide that you don't want me, don't let it be because of something silly like thinking you're not pretty enough or smart enough or--"

"I didn't say that I don't want you." Your argument is brief but stable. Now it is Junmyeon's turn to sit back and blink at you. "I said I don't understand why you want me. That is not the same as saying that I don't want you." You bite your tongue just short of professing, 'I have every reason to want you.'

Understanding at last, Junmyeon closes his agape mouth. Moments pass in silence as you try to decide whose turn it is to speak.

Junmyeon claims it is his. "I don't think I can explain it well with words, but I think-- I think I can show you over time. I think it will make more sense once I am your boyfriend."

You are not sure what he means, and you are too struck by his stutter to press him for an elaboration.

If you are honest, you will admit that it doesn't matter why Junmyeon wants to be together. It doesn't matter if he changes his mind first thing in the morning with the rising of the sun. This moment of being on the same page at the same time, of sharing the same gaze, is infinite.

"I'm not expected to dress up for our date tonight, am I?" You rise to your feet, clutching your notebook in one hand and Frankenstein in the other. "I don't think I'll have time to change between class and the art exhibit."

Junmyeon beams as he stands. While sipping his green tea, he carries your coffee and walks with you to your classroom. "I think you look lovely as you are."

He sets your drink down on your desk. Content that there are no students or other professors nearby-- cautious not because he cares who sees but because he respects your modesty-- he brushes a gentle kiss against your cheek while you are busy troubleshooting the testy projector.

Gasping, you reach to trace your fingers against your cheek, and he laughs at your reaction to his first act of affection. "There's one reason why I am falling in love with you." He points at your growing smile, careful not to discuss intimate matters too loudly now that you aren't tucked away in your office. "I have never known anybody so expressive."

As much as you enjoy the fluttering of your heart, you are eager for Junmyeon to leave so you can finish preparing for class. Stealing a glance at your watch, you ask, "Don't you teach that Wordsworth class right about now?"

He dreamily props his head up on your desk, gushing, "How romantic-- you already know my schedule!" His playfulness quickly fades, and he strains to catch the time displayed on your wrist. "What time is it?"

"3:30."

He gasps, "I'm late!" And darts out of the room.

Just as you are catching your breath, just as you are realizing that you are Junmyeon's girlfriend, that this otherwise boring Tuesday now marks the start of something new and exciting, his head pokes back through the doorway. "Hey, let's drive to that exhibit together, okay?"

You are about to scold him for keeping his students waiting and for distracting you from your work, but you falter at the sight of his sparkling smile. Besides, if you argue, he will stay longer; although that is exactly what you want, that is not the responsible option. You nod, "Okay. I'll see you after class."

"See ya!" He waves and sets off to his classroom two doors down, where you hear him announce to his students, "Sorry I'm late! I had romantic matters to tend to."

You can vividly imagine his clever grin as his students are split between guttural groans and pity-laughter. As you smile, you wonder when you started to fall in love with Junmyeon.

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whisperofthewaves · 4 years

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eyy, I’ve been tagged by both @ifrija and @not-feuilly thank you guys!

(this is funny bc I did an almost identical one a few days ago haha. this one looks somewhat more complete in regards to the listed options in each category)

bold what applies to you.

lol. dark academia it is then.

tagging @slavicafire @vaderlord @sansael @s-2003u1 @nostalgiaiscool @pankracy @la-vie-en-lys @iamemeraldfox and all of you who wants to play bc I’m so sorry I’m terrible at remembering urls when I need them

#tag meme #tag game #aesthetic I guess #'''''studying languages''''' as if I'd studied any in the past 5 years lol #more like an amateur enthusiast with commitment issues #also the subtitled movies aren't That old

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austennerdita2533 · 6 years

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Yeah I remember when I really fell in love with the book was when I reached the part where urbino dies. It was such an unexpected/ridiculous way to die I was shocked but laughing all the way. I was all in after that. And when florentino wrote fermina a novel expressing his feelings but his mother convenced him not to give her, hilarious! So do you recomend his other books? I would love to read more books of that quality, by other authors, can you tell me some you loved as well?

Omg, omg, I almost forgot about the novel Florentino wrote expressing his feelings! That was one of my favorite parts. I absolutely howled with laughter. (Reminds me a little bit of how Lara Jean writes all the guys she loves letters in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before lol.)

The only other Márquez novel I’ve read in full so far is 100 Years of Solitude and I absolutely suggest reading it because it’s inundated with magical realism, a genre largely attributed to him. Plus, it’s a multigenerational story which I found to be particularly intriguing. I’ve read portions of In Evil Hour and Of Love And Other Demons in some of my English/Spanish literature classes, and they’re on my ever-growing to-read list as a result.

“A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings” is a short story of his I love and features magical realism prominently as well. It’s in his novella/short story collection titled Leaf Storm, where there are a bunch of other good works like “The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World,” “The Last Voyage of the Ghost Ship,” and “Watching it Rain in Macondo.” I’ve also read excerpts from a few of his nonfiction pieces, including News of a Sailor and The Solitude of Latin America.

And oh, I could recommend you so many different writers and books! It all depends on the kind of things you’re looking for or where your interests lie, though?

If you want some other good Spanish writers, definitely check out Jorge Luis Borges and Miguel de Cervantes. (I’d list others, but I’m not sure about how well their stuff translates into English.)

If you’re looking for something long, involved, and of dense language quality, I’d suggest Les Miserables by Victor Hugo (which I just finished for the first time a few days ago and raved all over it in a review on Goodreads). Some other dense-ies but goodies are Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy, Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes, Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell, and A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens (people complain about him all the time but he really is fantastic), and Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy (aka: the least depressing of all his depressing novels). What’s great about these books is that I consider them all to be densely expressed and wonderful, but in vastly different ways.

I’m also a sucker for regency/period novels. Everyone knows I’m a huge Jane Austen lover so I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention her, but here are some others I squeal about on the regular: Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery (she writes the most gorgeous descriptions of nature; I blame her for my proclivity toward lyricism); North and South and Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain.

Oh, and I just finished Sylvester by Georgette Heyer, which I enjoyed immensely. It filled so many of regency romance desires! I have Venetia waiting in my Kindle queue as we speak...

I also like to encourage people to at least give Ernest Hemingway a try, if they haven’t yet. Just one book at least. He’s a minimalist in almost every sense of the word, but I respect him so much for how well he structures his stories from start to inciting incident to climax to conclusion. A Farewell to Arms is my favorite. **Much like Hardy and Hugo, he’s a depressing realist, so make sure to read with a box of tissues.**

Oh! And Edgar Allan Poe. He’s another one who is so, so skilled a structuring a short story. I refer back to his critical writings a lot when I’m stuck in the stop-sucking-at-writing muck, too. I also reread “The Tell Tale Heart” every autumn close to Halloween. There’s something so eerily delightful about hearing the “thump thump” of that heart stuck beneath the floorboards while I’m wrapped in blankets and sipping hot cider.

Anyway, enough of my blabbing!

The above is a comprised - somewhat annotated - list of some of my favorite classics. I stuck to those since I consider Márquez to be a classic author, and I have many more if you want other suggestions. (Which is funny because I feel like I haven’t read nearly enough classical literature yet, but whatevs lol.) Or, you know, if you want more modern/contemporary recs or things from other genres (science/medicine, memoirs, poetry, biographies, psychology, YA, fantasy, chick lit etc.) I can do that as well. I transverse genres all the time and I love plunging into new ones--it’s my favorite thing.

Sorry this got so long, but I get so damn excited talking about books haha. I hope this was helpful, lovely. xx

#anonymous #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree talks books #Anonymous

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cubistemoji · 6 years

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thank u @iceandbrimstone for the tag!!

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

2 that I’ve more or less abandoned forever (rip in pieces) and one that I started outlining and then decided to shelve until after I’m done w/school for the year and then another thing I was gonna do for the april camp nanowrimo this year but then just. didn’t. I might try to get that done over the summer too

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

not only do I write fanfiction I wrote an article about how great fanfiction is for my school paper a few weeks ago (and snuck in a reference to some of my favorite hq fics in the process lmao)

in addition to fic I also write articles and reviews for my school’s online newspaper, and comics! I write original fiction once in a blue moon too. I’m taking a class on fiction writing next fall so excited to do more original work for that lol

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

I used to always go for paper books and I like the sensation of reading a physical book but it is so. much. easier to just pull up a tab on ao3 or download a pdf and scroll through it

can’t get an autographed annotated ebook tho

4) When did you start writing?

I wrote a picture book for class in second grade and then discovered fanfiction on the scholastic dot com kid’s forum’s harry potter board when I was ten and it was like “you mean I can...MAKE UP STUFF...THAT HAPPENS...TO THE HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS???” so yeah I wrote some. embarrassing but decently-spelled and punctuated nextgen fic in those years

a few months ago I got an email notification that someone subscribed to my fanfiction dot net harry potter fic that has not been updated since 2011 and it was embarrassing

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

my friends! special shout-out to @raspberrymint-is-mint for letting me drag her to barnes and noble to cry about my fanfic for a thing she hasn’t even seen or read bc at that point I had zero haikyuu fic friends and anjali’s been my writer friend since like 6th grade and is the person I trust the most from a writing standpoint also @kenmagoesblep and connie who doesn’t have a tumblr

and @flashcotton, obviously, even tho they don’t read everything I write

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

on my laptop at my desk tho one time I wrote like 1500 words on my tablet pc during a 2-hour shinkansen ride from kyoto to tokyo. good times

7) Favourite childhood book?

the mysterious benedict society trilogy in english and either alisa or tanya grotter in russian

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

validation, mostly. I’m interested in writing for comics in the future maybe though

9) Pen and paper or computer?

computer please and thank you

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

once at nerd camp when I was 12 (it was about analyzing mystery suspense and horror in literature and film but we also wrote stuff for the class and everyone liked my things a lot for some reason)

11) What inspires you to write?

a lot of the time it’s “spite” or “well if no one else is gonna make this content I guess I just have to make it my own damn self” but also “I need to process these feelings somehow” like uhhh that richard siken quote: “I want to tell you this story without having to be in it” that’s where these two fics mostly came from I needed to tell everyone about my feelings by projecting those feelings onto some fictional volleyball boys normally my idea process is like: I have an idea, and then I think of character dynamics I like that can go with it, and then I start writing until the idea isn’t taking up 90% of my brainspace at all times

this was kind of incoherent sorry

tagging @kenmagoesblep and @ingthing @kon-centration even tho idk if you still check tumblr nowadays

#ask games #tag games #writing #wow!

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midnightliar · 7 years

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the beautiful, luminous, inimitable @violaeade tagged me for 50 book questions!

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

oh maybe everything leads to you by nina lacour! it just really gets to me

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

uhh idk what’s the longest harry potter book bc probably that? i dont... read books that long usually

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

ummm i think and then there were none by agatha christie? i dont keep track by time tbh but i dont read that many old books bc i tend to have trouble reading them

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

the raven cycle lol

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

oh god most of them? 99% of the lesbian ones for sure. percy jackson would make an excellent animated movie series imo. i’m clearly biased but tasu/teota would be great on screen.

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

most of the gay ones i read are standalones and theres so many good ones... i already said everything leads to you but we are okay and you know me well are also extremely good! of fire and stars killed me as well.

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

god. straight ones? ones that i heard are racist or homo/lesbo/bi/transphobic, but in general i’m picky abt what i read bc i don’t read that many books.

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

i was gonna say i don’t feel guilty about not reading books i don’t like/don’t want to but that’s a lie- babe if ur reading this i am SO sorry i never finished the last chaos walking book

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

most of them lol that’s what i get for living in america. i read we are okay pretty recently which takes place in new york, the state i was born in, so that’s a bit more specific.

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

i have 2 copies of redwall for no reason other than my high school library was selling one for a dollar so i bought it even tho i had it already. i have a couple copies of some of the a wrinkle in time books bc i got some of them as gifts a bunch.

11. What horror book made you really scared?

omg i don’t read horror but that one skulduggery pleasant short story about bubba moon or whatever freaked me the fuck out tbh

12. What book do you passionately hate?

um i haven’t read enough terrible books to say i hate them that passionately? but i rly kinda hated trc. oh yeah i read the first c*aptive pr*nce book in hs on the recommendation of a friend and it just made me so uncomfortable the entire time i really. did not have a good time with that one and i wish i hadn’t read it

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

skulduggery pleasant! theres 9 books plus short stories i still can’t believe i read all those

14. What book gives you happy memories?

aw sabrina answered this with the flywheel by erin gough and i have to say the same bc she sent it to me for my birthday, full of annotations of thoughts and jokes she made herself AND got it signed by the author, and i’ve uhhhh never felt so loved in my life

15. What book made you cry?

oh the book thief for sure. everything leads to you made me cry a bunch while rereading it even tho its not sad? thos were love tears. that happens a lot actually.

16. What book made you laugh?

skulduggery pleasant! there’s so many good lines in that one. my dad used to always hand me a book he’d just read and tell me to read a certain chapter he found hilarious but i never read the whole book but he always found hilarious memoirs too.

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

lmaoo like all the books i read are gay? the abyss surrounds us/the edge of the abyss have really unique lesbian characters because they’re so angry and vindictive and dumb and interesting and DRAMATIC so that one gets a shout out

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

what the fuck is that (ok i legit just finished reading when the moon was ours by anna marie mclemore tho bc my gf rec’d it and it was p good)

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

does fantasy count? bc then of fire and stars. uhh chaos walking is on a new planet. a wrinkle in time involves other planets too! wow i’m crushing this one

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

the raven cycle lol i thought it was a finished trilogy when i started the first book so i just never read the last one and i am so relieved

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

not really? i don’t really feel pressure, i value recommendations from my girlfriend friends way more than things that are trending or popular. i’ve read a couple that i blindly picked from internet lists that i didn’t care for tho but that was really a while ago

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

pretty much any author we were supposed to read in high school. any classic or even modern famous author i probably haven’t read. i’ve read like a dozen books ever

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

tbh nina lacour is really up there. when i was really young it was definitely gail carson levine. i rly loved anne ursu’s books as well.

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

only one! and a bunch of boxes that i never unpacked after we moved like 3 years ago. my mom wants to put a big wall bookshelf in our house somewhere bc this one didn’t come with any like our last house did but who knows if that’ll happen.

25. How many books do you own?

are u trying to make me count?

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

ohhh i don’t read much of this genre. i always avoided it as a kid and i’ve been meaning to get into it more but i haven’t yet. i’m really looking forward to reading a sally ride biography tho

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

the chronus chronicles by anne ursu were my JAM in elementary/middle school omg. i also really loved the may bird series which i didn’t read until high school.

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

i’m about to start georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit finally! my gf bought me 10 things i can see from here and i love her so whenever that arrive i’m probably gonna devour that. i want to reread a wrinkle in time soon since the trailer comes out this weekend! plus a million others

29. What book are you currently reading?

i literally just finished when the moon was ours which felt like it took me ten years to read and i haven’t started another yet but it’ll be georgia peaches bc thats the other one i got from the library and i already had to renew them haha

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

um this old west lesbian novel called backwards to oregon! i’ve been craving westerns lately but as always i’m also craving gay content

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

i used to buy a ton of old paperbacks, usually goofy looking sf or fantasy novels from library sales for dollars or quarters so definitely those.

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

i can tell u the most expensive book i got for free was a beautiful bound collection of hg wells stories that i just got from some book at bea before it was bookcon lol

ones i actually paid for... do art books count??

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

nah i usually have no intention of reading the book if i watched the show/movie first

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

akdjghksjgh a lesbian western novella called from the boots up for a few bucks on kindle

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

the rest of the gay books i’ve bought but haven’t read yet! not your sidekick and labyrinth lost, i’m VERY excited to reread a wrinkle in time and i also really want to read stone butch blues

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

crush by sr silcox has the cutest lesbian teen summer romance AND one them is secretly a rock star avoiding her fame bc her controlling dad was turning into HIS dream instead of HERS akdjghksdjgh its fantastic i adored it

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

oh no i’m dumb as hell

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

for some reason dave at night by gail carson levine popped into my head first? that was my favorite as a kid and i reread it all the time and i think it took place in the 20s or 30s with all that good good jazz shit

39. What book offended you?

hm not sure how to answer this one

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

idk the may bird series was pretty weird. gone by michael grant? i read the first for a high school book club and i just could not get into it or understand it even a little

41. What is your favourite duology?

ditty the abyss surrounds us & the edge of the abyss !!

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

wow i really haven’t read that many trilogies esp ones i loved. i guess may bird or the chronus chronicles then!

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

the maze runner! also bc i heard it was good but i hated that book so

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

honestly i can’t think of one rn

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

nope! i also hated poetry as a kid and have only tried to get into it recently. i have a book of sappho’s fragments and i want to get tracy k smith from the library but thats about it

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

nope

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

thats possible

48. What book made you angry?

the maze runner really did?? for some reason and i don’t get mad that much but it just really had me steamin. sabrina also said grasshopper jungle and i’m inclined to say same lmao. i haven’t read it but seeing all the lesbophobia in not otherwise specified recently made me really mad and also upset

49. What book has inspired you?

aw inspired is a serious word to throw around. the miseducation of cameron post, idk if it “inspired” me but it was my first lesbian novel and that really did a lot for me.

50. What book got you into reading?

i think it was a wrinkle in time! or maybe roald dahl books before that, but a wrinkle in time was definitely up there, and maybe the shadow thieves by anne ursu

i’m tagging @reading-takes-you-places and @mywomensworld and anyone who wants to! i don’t talk to many people here but if you follow me and want to, go for it!

#boy this was so many questions and i really don't......read..............#but ily babe ty for tagging me <3 #long post

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keyknowledge-blog1 · 7 years

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92 Questions tag

I was tagged by @my-aesthetic-is-studying thanks for tagging me, some questions were really funny! :) I hope no one minds that I fill those out~

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: Green tea  2. Phone call: My Bae  3. Text message: Also Bae  4. Song you listened to: Mandy Harvey - Try  5. Time you cried: Two days ago after I had a nervous breakdown about geography

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: not really, there was this one guy I had an on and off with but we never officially date  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: same guy, lol  8. Been cheated on: nope  9. Lost someone special: yup  10. Been depressed: I hate how people misuse the word 'depressed' and use it out of the context of the mental illness. I've been sad a couple of times, yes. I'm always depressed  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope, never drank and won't ever

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: blue, green, beige

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: at the very very end of it, if it counts (technically January of this year)  16. Fallen out of love: nope  17. Laughed until you cried: nope  18. Found out someone was talking about you: yup, it was pretty hilarious   19. Met someone who changed you: not really  20. Found out who your friends are: I know who my friends are  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don't have a FB account

GENERAL: 

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: zero, because I have no FB :D  23. Do you have any pets: no  24. Do you want to change your name: nope  25. What did you do for your last birthday: I honestly don't remember o_o  26. What time did you wake up: 10:20  27. What were you doing at midnight last night: having a random conversation although I originally wanted to go to sleep  28. Name something you can’t wait for: finishing my finals and going to university! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a long time ago  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I would want to have a lot of friends to play boardgames and rpgs with  31. What are you listening to right now: the sound of the AC  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: surprisingly, no  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that people feel the need to use cars. If everyone had a car, we would have no space to live (and use the cars), so it's a thing rich people can have and others can't. Also, it's not good for the environment. People are solving the wrong issues -- create good, free of charge infrastructure and you would literally not need cars.  34. Most visited websites: Currently it would probably be wikipedia, lol

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 

35. Mole/s: Few 36. Mark/s: A lot of scars from back when I had really dark times in my life or fun scars from when my lil brother almost bit my finger off when he was a baby  37. Childhood dream: becoming an astronaut, an actress, a writer or a director  or some combination of them 38. Hair color: brown  39. Long or short hair: short  40. Do you have a crush on someone: I guess you could say so? I would define it as love, though  41. What do you like about yourself: I'm a very good friend and I'm good at listening when someone tells me they need me 42. Piercings: nope  43. Blood type: secret  44. Nickname: Lotte 45. Relationship status: taken  46. Zodiac: libra 47. Pronouns: the ones used in normal English language  48. Favorite TV Show: seirei no moribito, probably  49. Tattoos: none   50. Right or left hand: right  51. Surgery: nope  52. Hair dyed in different color: I did colour my hair with natural colour, but I never did it again because it's such a hassle  55. Vacation: Not yet in sight :(   56. Pair of trainers: I... have no idea what trainers are

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: soon will be eating bread with a random spread  58. Drinking: water   59. I’m about to: start studying geography  61. Waiting for: an appointment  62. Want: a machine which could pass on knowledge to people without them having to redundantly study  63. Get married: getting married should only be done if it's convenient, there is no other reason that I could think of  64. Career: I wanna do something creative as a career but I'm leaving my options open

WHICH IS BETTER 

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs  66. Lips or eyes: eyes  67. Shorter or taller: taller  68. Older or younger: doesn't matter   70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice stomach   71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive  72. Hook up or relationship: hook up  73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both seem terribly hard to deal with

HAVE YOU EVER

 74. Kissed a Stranger: nope, but I was kissed by a stranger if it counts  75. Drank hard liquor: don't drink  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: when they were on my head  77. Turned someone down: many times  78. Sex on the first date: hate sex so no  79. Broken someone’s heart: many times  80. Had your heart broken: yes   81. Been arrested: no  82. Cried when someone died: death is natural, so not really, but I felt sad that the person isn't there any longer  83. Fallen for a friend: I guess

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84. Yourself: no (although looking at the questions below... I started to increasingly believe in myself. Thank you, Tumblr, for teaching me how relative my low self esteem is lol) 85. Miracles: no way, miracles come from dogmatic religions and have nothing to seek in a rational person's mind  86. Love at first sight: depending on how many loves at first sights you might have, statistically speaking, you might find the one eventually, lol  87. Santa Claus: see 'miracles'  88. Kiss on the first date: sure?

OTHER

 90. Current best friend name: secret 91. Eye color: light grey  92. Favorite movie: currently it's probably Arrival

Tagging (sorry if you already did it!): @exposedhealth @studyblrsarah @keirati @funandfeels @mystudylifeee @diaryofmi @crimpled-petal @ako-nalang-kasi @unabashedlyluckywitch @high-liters-and-tea @studyyoassoff @nic-biostudies @motivationspace @annoteate

#92 questions tag

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inspired-by-the-music · 5 years

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Kai

requests are encouraged! please read my guidelines before submitting your request

Genre: university!au, features Sehun and Chanyeol as the reader’s longtime friends & SHINee’s Taemin as Jongin’s best friend (bc i never stop being taemin trash lol). not really fluff or angst, but happy endings abound!

Word Count: 3,140

Note: this is an idea i’ve been developing for a while. it ended up being pretty long because it’s about one of my favorite themes: inaccurate reputations.this is an idea i explored in depth in my bts social media Any Other Name, which is referenced as a novel in this story. please enjoy!

As far as you could tell from your first month at your new university, there was only one rule: avoid the boy named Kai. Your roommate, a girl named Soo-ah, introduced you to an anonymous girls-only blog that meticulously detailed dramatic confrontations between other students. In short, it was a gossip website; however, instead of discussing the lives of celebrities, it was devoted entirely to exposing students. And the general consensus from the website and Soo-ah was that Kai was nothing short of a monster.

“Apparently, he likes to befriend girls before breaking their hearts,” Soo-ah told you, her eyes burning with rage.

“But broken hearts are kind of a part of dating,” you observed quietly. It seemed wrong to hate some guy you never met, regardless of how many anonymous people swore they were moved to tears by his behavior.

“Didn’t you read any of that stuff I told you?” Soo-ah held her phone out to you once more. “He only likes for girls like us to stroke his ego, then he’ll drop up like we’re worthless.”

“But how do you know? We don’t even know who any of these people are—” You set her phone down on the end of your bed when she refused to accept it. “And they don’t include his last name or even a picture, so how would we even know if we saw him?”

“You would know Kai if you saw him,” she answered vaguely. Eyeing you suspiciously, she snatched her phone off of your blanket. “And why are you so determined to believe he’s such a good guy? Do you know him or something? Has he already gotten to you?”

A furious blush rose to your cheeks at her accusation, and you shied against the wall at your back. “No, I don’t know him, and I’m not determined to believe anything about anybody. Would you feel better if I was afraid of every boy in the school named Kai?”

“Honestly?” Soo-ah glared, “Yeah.” And when your stare clearly indicated that you were uncomfortable, she smiled and added, “You know— just so you’re safe.”

. . .

When you recapped the conversation to Sehun the next day over lunch, he stared at you blankly. “You mean to tell me that the girls have a whole website where they post what they really think about guys?”

Rolling your eyes, you ripped a used page out of your notebook and threw it at him. “Focus, Sehun.”

“I am focused.” Sehun hurled the paper at your face, but you ducked. “We’ll talk about your weird roommate after you tell me if my name is anywhere on that blog.”

“I don’t know, I didn’t look for you.” You picked the balled paper off of the ground as you answered. “Besides, to be on there, I think you have to be some kind of affront to women.”

“Oh,” Sehun nodded. “Well, I’m a total gentleman.” Satisfied with your mocking laugh, Sehun said, “Anyway, are you sure that your roommate doesn’t have some kind of grudge against this Kai dude— or whatever his name is?”

You shrugged, “I have no idea— I literally just met her a week ago when I moved in.”

Sehun shook his head at you. “Seriously, Y/N, that girl could be a psychopath for all you know. I told you to just move in with me and Chanyeol—”

“Excuse me, I only finally escaped you two when you went off to college.” You teased, biting your cheek to avoid laughing. “You know, I didn’t even want to transfer here, but the scholarship—”

Sehun kicked you under the table. “Cut it out, punk. Chanyeol’s heart would break if he heard you.” He scolded as if he weren’t pouting himself.

“Fine, fine. Anyway, I didn’t tell you everything so you could analyze Soo-ah or convince me to move in. Is any of that stuff about Kai true?”

As he shrugged, Sehun wrinkled his eyebrows. “How would I know? I don’t know anyone named Kai.” Then, more gently, he advised, “But Y/N, maybe don’t take a risk on someone with a bad reputation, ya know?”

Your tongue clicked in frustration. “No— I don’t know, actually. I mean, what if I listened to everyone in high who said you were a bully because of your resting bitch face—”

“Don’t play with me, Y/N, I know you had a crush on me and my mean eyebrows—”

Groaning, you complained, “Okay, first of all, literally nothing is sacred with Chanyeol.” Once Sehun finished laughing, you continued, “Second of all, that was back when I was a freshman and you actually seemed cool.”

“All these excuses.” Sehun smirked as he leaned across the table to ruffle your hair. Leaning back, he abandoned his jokes, and said, “Seriously, though, don’t be too naive. I know we think Soo-ah is a weirdo, but maybe she has some history with that guy, and she’s trying to protect you.”

Again, you refused to accept Sehun’s opinion that you should just be cautious. “But she didn’t even tell me who he is. And the blog calls him Kai— like some nickname.”

“Or a codename,” Sehun suggested. “Look, I’ve been to a lot of parties—”

“Is this really the time to brag about your social life?”

“ — Shut up! Anyway, I know almost everyone here, and nobody in my grade is named Kai. So maybe it’s just like a fake name everyone on the blog knows someone as?”

Your brow furrowed as you tried to rub the headache out of your temples. “But why warn me if nobody is going to tell me who to fear? The more I think about it, the more I think this is just some clever way for people to gossip.”

“Yeah? Well, welcome to college.” Realizing how troubled you were, Sehun recommended, “Don’t pry if you think it’s just girls being catty. What’s the point of going through the effort of finding out who the hell Kai is if they’re just venting?”

“Because it’s not fair for him to have a bad reputation if he didn’t do anything wrong.” You were about to begin your rant anew when your phone buzzed, signalling an incoming text. “Sorry, I gotta meet someone in the library. Group projects are so inconvenient.

“Yeah, don’t lie to me about meeting other guys, Y/N, it confuses me about the true nature of your feelings.” It would have been impossible to know that Sehun was joking if you lacked the years of experience in noting the slight upward twitch of his lips. “You’re coming to the party tonight, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah, sure. I have nothing else to do.”

“Obviously.” Sehun laughed when you shoved his shoulder. “Go ahead and invite your boyfriend so Chanyeol and I can run him off.”

. . .

Jongin was the only person who made a good impression that first month of classes— well, aside from his friend Taemin. As far as you could tell, the had to be the most popular guys on campus, judging by the whispers and stares that followed them everywhere. What were the odds, you wondered, that two seemingly perfect people would be inseparable best friends?

It was surprising to find him waiting for you alone in the library, since it was your first time seeing him without Taemin.

“Hey.” Jongin greeted you with a warm smile, just as he had on the first day of class.

While people obviously initially admired him for his stunning appearance, Jongin’s personality was more worthy of appreciation. And you knew it was silly to be yet another girl whose heart raced for him, but you couldn’t help it.

You returned his smile as you sat. “Hey.”

“So,” he raised the assigned novel, “what did you think of the book?”

“Actually, that was, like, my thousandth time reading Any Other Name,” you admitted bashfully. “It was my favorite book in high school.”

Jongin’s jaw dropped. “No way! It’s my favorite book too!” His excited volume attracted several hisses from nearby students and the assistant librarian. While his cheeks turned scarlet, he flipped his book open and displayed the colorful annotations. “It’s a little embarrassing, but I did most of this before the book was even assigned for that contemporary literature class.”

Hours slipped away as you and Jongin discussed your favorite parts of the novel. By the time you finished the project, and took a few selfies, and made plans to watch Any Other Name’s film adaptation, the sun had set. A quick glance at your phone confirmed that you were running late for the party.

Sehun had only been joking about you inviting Jongin, but at this point you were confident that he enjoyed hanging out with you, and you weren’t ready for your heart to calm. “You know, I’m about to go to a party at my best friends’ place. You may know them— Sehun and Chanyeol?”

“Yeah,” Jongin nodded. “I know them.” He laughed as he rubbed at the back of his neck and admitted, “And I know their parties are a little wild.”

You dismissed his concerns by explaining, “They’ve been my best friends since high school, that’s the only reason I’m going.” You blushed as you realized that he was likely politely rejecting you. “Ah— actually, it’s okay if you don’t wanna go—”

“Wait, you’re inviting me to go with you?”

Had it not been obvious? Jongin smiled when you nodded. “Okay, Y/N, I’ll go, and I’ll look out for you.” And he took your hand in his and allowed you to lead him out of the library.

. . .

The party was a chaotic blur. Evidently, Sehun decided to invite everyone he knew, resulting in little space to move and booming volumes. While the environment prevented a continuation of your earlier conversation, it didn’t discourage Jongin from remaining at your side throughout the evening, acting as your date and protector from the boisterous guests.

Sehun nudged you as he passed you near the blaring stereo and teased, “I can’t believe you actually brought him.”

And Sehun wasn’t the only person suspended in disbelief. You would have to be blind to miss the stares, which you attributed to envy considering Jongin’s popularity. Until the following morning, after Jongin escorted you to your dorm, when Soo-ah shoved her phone into your hand again, you didn’t consider that Jongin’s reputation could be more sinister.

“I told you to stay away from him.’ Soo-ah reminded— as if you could ever forget— while you examined the pictures displayed on her phone. They depicted you and Jongin dancing at the party.

“This doesn’t make any sense— his name isn’t even Kai.”

Yet the caption clearly read: ‘Kai picks his newest prey. Don’t be naive!’ and linked to Jongin’s account, where he had posted the pictures of you from the library. So it was as Sehun suggested; Kai was an alias for Jongin.

It wasn’t that you trusted Soo-ah or distrusted Jongin— so why was there a sudden sharp ache in your chest? Why was your stomach suddenly in knots? You didn’t know him well enough to suffer a broken heart, so your discomfort had to be caused by the embarrassment of having your pictures spread among anonymous strangers.

All you knew for certain was that nothing could come from confiding your feelings in your roommate, so you returned her phone and resolved to remain silent.

. . .

You spent the weekend trying to interpret your feelings alone without much success. When Chanyeol collapsed into the desk next to you and stole a concerned glance, you finally realized how deeply confused and upset you were by the entire ordeal.

“Hey Y/N, what’s the matter?” To comfort you, Chanyeol dug a cereal bar out of his bag and tossed it onto your desk. “Something happen with that guy you brought to the party?”

And you should have known better than to recount the situation to Chanyeol in that ten minutes before class; Taemin sat in the back corner of the classroom, and anything he heard would be repeated to Jongin. However, at Chanyeol’s compassionate provocation, you explained everything.

Like Sehun, Chanyeol fixated on what you considered a minor detail. “You mean you’ve managed to find the only guy in the world who’s obsessed with your favorite book?”

“That’s what you picked up on?”

“It’s just— it sounds like you really like him. And it sounds like he really likes you. And you have the same interests. And it’s dumb that you’re letting some stupid gossip blog ruin everything.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like him anymore.” You glanced over your shoulder to make sure Taemin wasn’t listening; and when you were satisfied that he was listening to music, you continued, “I’m just not sure I’m okay with people taking my picture and talking about me just because I hang out with some guy.”

“Well, Y/N,” Chanyeol studied your expression as he leaned back in his chair, “If you really like him and you don’t believe what your creepy roommate says about him, maybe just avoid that website.”

Before you could respond, the professor began his lecture.

Maybe Chanyeol was right. You could easily forget about the blog, since you only knew about it and read it when Soo-ah was forcing you to read it. But could you really ignore the real world scrutiny? Even as you took notes, you lost count of how many girls turned around to stare.

If this was how they were acting after a weekend of ignoring all of Jongin’s texts, how could you believe everything would go back to normal if you swore off involvement with him? And, perhaps more importantly, why should you live to please a bunch of strangers?

As an act of defiance when that girl in front of you glared at you once more, you yanked your phone out of your book bag to ask Jongin to meet you to lunch, and you didn’t try to hide your smile when he immediately replied.

After class, Chanyeol rubbed your arm on the way out. “Everything will be okay. And if your roommate doesn’t back off, you can always stay with me and Sehun.”

You only nodded before heading to the campus cafeteria. A few steps later, a delicate voice called your name.

“Y/N?” It was Taemin, approaching you with a gentle grin. “Um, no matter what anyone says, Jongin really likes you. Don’t tell him I told you, but he’s had a crush on you since the first day of school, and he had a lot of fun with you the other day. So maybe don’t believe everything you read online.”

“You mean—” Your voice dropped below a whisper as you were almost too nervous to ask, “You mean you know what everyone says about him?”

Taemin nodded before confessing, “Yeah, we know what everyone says about us. They’ve been talking forever. But please don’t believe it.”

As relieved as you were to learn that your instincts were right, you were more consumed by sympathy for Jongin and Taemin. Despite the growing guilt of ignoring Jongin because of unfair rumors, you smiled softly at Taemin. “Don’t worry. I don’t believe it.”

Bearing that in mind, an apology tumbled out of your mouth the moment you found Jongin waiting for you at a table by the window. He already bought both of your meals and set your food at the space opposite him.

“For what?” He smiled at you, evidently determined to believe that you hadn’t deliberately avoided him all weekend.

You sat down and began, “I’m sorry I heard rumors about you— I didn’t even know they were about you—”

Jongin took your hand in his to interrupt your rant. “Y/N, don’t worry about it. I know all about that Kai stuff. Honestly, when you were actually nice to me and invited me to that party, I guessed you just hadn’t heard anything.” A frown yanked at his lips as he concluded, “I knew it was just a matter of time before you heard that I’m apparently some kind of jerk and decided to distance yourself.”

You appeared to have forgotten how to speak until Jongin released your hand and stood to dismiss himself. “I didn’t believe them—” You blurted as you grabbed his hand and tugged him back toward the table. “I didn’t believe the rumors before I knew they were about you. Before I even liked you.”

He stilled and sank back into his seat. “Really?” He narrowed his eyes at you curiously.

“Really,” you repeated. “It was just an instinct. But if you don’t mind me asking, why do they call you Kai? And why are people so determined to talk about you?”

“They’ve just always talked about me.” Jongin shrugged; it must be a part of life he accepted long ago, but that acceptance didn’t lessen his frown. “I don’t know why they call me a womanizer; I’ve never even dated a girl. I remember when Taemin had his first girlfriend, the other girls were so mean to her; I didn’t want anyone to go through that because of me. I really hoped things would change when I got to college, but— well, I’ve been here for a full four years, and people still whisper behind my back.”

Then, rather stupidly, you asked, “You still don’t date?” as if all you could think of was becoming Jongin’s first girlfriend.

Thankfully, he chuckled and you could release the anxious breath you were holding. “Nope. Until quite recently, I didn’t attract anyone I really liked. Actually— until this week, I didn’t attract anyone who actually liked me for more than my face.”

In a feeble attempt to distract from your deepening blush and an earnest effort to console Jongin, you said, “Well— for everyone who chose to believe rumors rather than get to know you, it’s their loss. Your kindness is way more impressive than your face, and you’re beautiful so that’s really saying something.”

Jongin caught his bottom lip with his teeth to keep from smiling, but the corners of his lips curved upward anyway. “Thank you. And to answer your other question, I went by Kai in high school. The girl who runs the blog, Soo-ah, ran it in high school too, and I guess she hasn’t stopped thinking of me as Kai even though I’ve been running from that name because of her.”

“Damn.” Your jaw clenched in anger as Jongin placed the final piece of the puzzle in your mind. “I hate when Sehun is right. My roommate is a psychopath.”

And, on a less infuriating but still annoying note, Sehun also accurately predicted that you would have to move in with him and Chanyeol— at least if you wanted to date Jongin without enduring daily rants from your deranged roommate.

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