#sorry i got 'diagnosed' or something recently

[volinare]

maybe YOUR crazy. my favorite color is green though so im like, about as normal as they get

Fact Checkers Or Whatever the Format Of This Is: this poster has DID, the multiple parts that share their brain have many favorite colors. The alter who posted this favorite color is Orange. 'Orange' is also the official answer for the system. I like green tho.

[cha-cha-barney]

this may be an unpopular opinion but i really dont want hunter to be able to do magic now. belos wasn't ablw to do magic without an artificial staff after consuming thousands of palismen, so it wouldn't make sense in the show and it feels like erasure of what is really good disability coding. hunters non-magic is the boiling isles is the human equivalent of a disability (physical or learning, i can see both) and getting rid of that feels like erasing a disability, like curing eda and lilliths curse, it just doesn't feel right. idk if this is coherent, but i have big feelings about hunter and i want him to stay non-magical.

[doveotion]

what medication do you think you need and why

honestly I have no clue but I do know I need SOMETHING. I for sure I know I have depression. as for any other diagnosis I'm unsure but my friends have told me (who are diagnosed with these) I probably have quiet bpd/autism🧍🏻‍♀️

[hella1975]

happy eurovison!! do your stretches!!!

babe it's been days since i did my stretches at this point im too scared

[jinistd]

𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐘

p. hyunjin × fem!reader

g. smut & fluff

w. 4K

content warning: smut, explicit sexual content, unestablished relationship, smoking, hyunjin gets high, consensual, hyunjin is a service top, use of pet names (hyunjin calls reader kitten/kitty)

masterlist

“-y/n?” she hears Felix call from beside her. The younger had been yapping all period about the party tonight, and y/n didn’t mean to be rude, she really didn’t, but she couldn’t help her mind drifting off onto more important things! Said things being a certain someone that has been making appearance after appearance in her daily daydreaming. Now she's not exactly complaining per se, but she is a little confused as to why her friend has been plaguing her mind more frequently than usual. It could be anything really, from his soothing voice to his dark brown eyes that always held an emotion Y/N couldn’t quite decipher, to his big, veiny hands that always had Y/N's mind drifting to other things. Things like how they would look in hers, how they would look around her waist, or between her thighs-

“Y/N!” You are again pulled from your thoughts as Felix gently kicks your leg under the table, whisper-yelling so as to not draw too much attention to you. You look at him sheepishly, brows drawn together with a small, apologetic smile on your face. “I’m sorry Lixie, what were you saying?” The boy’s frown only deepens, inching closer to you.

Felix squints his eyes as if he’s trying to find something. “Are you ok? You’ve been zoning out lately. Like, more than usual.” He diagnoses, again leaning further into your space, and at this point, it probably looks very odd from an outside perspective.

Blinking, you wonder if you should tell Felix what you've been thinking about recently. Telling Felix would mean also telling Han indirectly, but that’s technically not a bad thing because Han has much better advice than Felix anyway. You decide that it wouldn’t hurt to tell your best friend.

You purse your lips, looking at the professor at the front of the classroom. “Felix, may I ask you something?” You start hesitantly, cheeks tingeing lightly as you keep your eyes away from the boy next to you. Felix raises a brow with a ghost of a smirk creeping its way onto his face, pulling away from you to lean back in his chair.

“Of course, Y/N! What’s got the puppy blushing?” The nickname only stirs your insides a little bit, nowhere near the sensation when Hyunjin calls you by the name. You gather yourself momentarily, piecing together your thoughts and looking around just to make sure no one is paying attention to you, which is unlikely for how far away you guys are from the rest of the class, and the amount of people. “How do you know if you like someone?” you finally let out, rushed, searching your friend's eyes for any minute reaction. It’s not like you doesn’t know you like Hyunjin, you're sure you do, but it seemed like the safest question to ask.

Felix's face shifts from surprise, brows raised, and mouth parted slightly, to smug almost instantaneously. “Oh? Does Y/N have a crush?” He asks, voice saccharinely sweet and teasing.

Leaning forward to shove his friend's shoulder half-heartedly, you whine, “Don’t tease! Just answer the question.” You sit back in your chair, watching as Felix feigns hurt for all of five seconds before he’s back to smiling at you. This time it’s downright maniacal, reminding you of the Cheshire cat, and you're just a bit terrified as the boy opens his mouth to say something. “It’s Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

The blush that was slowly fading has come back in full force, bright reds painting your cheeks as you freeze. Felix gasps, eyes wide and mouth agape. “Oh my god, It’s totally Hyunjin!” He concludes, giggling like a kid at Christmas as he stares at your panic-stricken face. “Lixie it’s not funny!” Huffing, he turns away from his friend and to his notebook, which is barren of the notes they should’ve been taking. Felix seems to catch onto the fact that you are genuinely worried about whatever is going on and decides to save the teasing for later.

“Y/N, I don't know exactly how you feel, but Hyunjin definitely wouldn’t turn you down if you asked him out.” He assures because really, the elder would probably leap at the chance to go on a date with you. I mean who wouldn’t? You may not know, but most of their friends had developed a crush on him at some point, all having gotten over it, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

You seem confused by his statement as he tilts his head to the side, eyes asking Felix a question. “What do you mean?” you say softly, almost as if your scared to know the answer. And to this, Felix just kind of stares at you for a moment, trying to figure out if you are making a joke. But your face doesn’t change one bit, staying in a state of confusion. He looks to the side as if there's a camera before turning back to the still-confused Y/N.

“Y/N, do you really not know?” Felix asks slowly, letting the words settle in the air around you. Dark hair shifting as you shake your head, you let out a small ‘no’.

At this, Felix laughs lightly, disbelieving at just how oblivious you are. “Hyung looks at you like you’re the only person in the world. He has these heart eyes, you know? And have you seen him around other people? Bro could not care less about anyone but you, he doesn’t even try to hide it! He’s also really rude to people who try to flirt with him, like, he looks at them like he’s disgusted by their presence. Disgusted Y/N! Have you really never noticed? He’s so obvious about it too…” He trails off, realizing that you had gone silent as he ranted about their older friend's behavior.

When Felix looks over at you, your face is blank with surprise, eyes widened and your bottom lip falling. “He doesn’t do that…” Your voice is nowhere near convincing.

“Sure, he doesn’t.” Is all Felix says before changing the subject again, but you are hardly paying attention.

You are two seconds away from running out the front door of the house. You rarely go to parties, and every time you do, you're reminded as to why. It’s loud, so loud, there's people grinding on each other everywhere, and you lost Felix in the crowd, so you're all alone at a party where you don’t know anyone. Yay!

You're looking around the living room for anyone you may know, or just to not look like an idiot, but either works, and you're almost successful! You think you see Hyunjin sitting on the couch rolling a blunt on the table in front of him, but as soon as you're about to walk over, something—no someone— is blocking your view.

“Hey.” The stranger smirks down at you, the warped smile looking all types of wrong on his face. It makes him look creepy and gross, causing you to cringe at their closeness.

“Can I help you?” You force yourself to be polite, manners still thoroughly intact even in the undesirable circumstances. The boy only increases the disgustingness of his smirk, raking his eyes up and down your body.

You shift in your spot as you look away, uncomfortably folding your arms over your chest and trying your best to glance over the stranger’s shoulder in search of Hyunjin. But the older isn’t on the couch anymore. You deflate, only to suck in a breath at the feeling of an arm being wrapped around his shoulder.

“Hi Baby.” Hyunjin’s voice is a whisper in his ear, lips brushing against the skin. You flush as a shudder runs through your body, you turn to look up at Hyunjin in surprise, his eyes already burning into yours. “Jinnie?” You question softly. Your faces are so close together, you wonder if the taller can hear your heart racing at the proximity.

Hyunjin’s hand comes up to your face, caressing your jaw. “I was looking for you,” He giggles, leaning in closer to your face, inches away. And he makes it sound so real, as if he really was looking for you amidst the crowd, which after the information Felix had shared with you earlier today, has a good chance of being true. Suddenly, Hyunjin looks away from you, eyes set on the stranger who is still standing there, his gaze murderous.

“Can I help you?” The taller spits, standing to his full height and dropping his hand down to your waist to pull you into his body. The boy practically squeaks before scurrying off with his tail between his legs, leaving you two alone.

Your body immediately deflates, leaning yourself into Hyunjin’s comforting hold easily. “Hi Jinnie.” You mumble, turning your head back to look at the older.

Hyunjin softens at the sound of your voice, your eyes finally meeting again. “Hi Y/N-ah.” You preen at the name, your name always sounding different when Hyunjin says it, but to be fair everything sounds different when Hyunjin says it. Better in every way.

He leads the younger to the couch, right where he had been sitting before saving you. Hyunjin picks up the rolled blunt from the table and reaches for the lighter in his pocket.

“y/nnie.” He calls simply, letting the name permeate in the air. You tilt your head to the elder, looking up at him. You aren't sitting far apart at all, thighs touching as Hyunjin lays back against the couch with the new blunt resting in his mouth. His left-hand falls to your thigh, rubbing small and comforting circles into the rough material of your jeans.

It wasn’t comforting at all though, you immediately flush at the feeling of the elder's large hand on your thigh. It was a regular occurrence for Hyunjin to put his hands on you, but each time it set your body alight with nerves.

“Kitty,” God. This boy must want to kill you.

You choke, sputtering as you continue to stare at Hyunjin’s side profile. The elder takes a long drag, holding it for a few seconds and then exhaling. He turns to you. “You should try this.”

And you probably shouldn't, but when Hyunjin’s looking at you as if he's the only person in the room while asking you to do something that seems so mundane, how could you possibly say no? You're a weak woman.

So, you take the offered blunt and presses it to your lips, not really knowing what to do next. Hyunjin seems to understand your dilemma and takes mercy on you because you next hear instructions on how to smoke properly.

“Suck it like a straw, inhale, hold, exhale. Do it gently, or you’re gonna cough.” He smiles at you, teasing as you give him a quizzical expression and nods your head hesitantly.

You still cough. Violently. Your lungs burn as you hand the offensive object back to its original owner, who is now laughing. “Stop laughing!” You whine when you finally catch your breath, throat still burning. Hyunjin’s hand squeezes your thigh tighter as he laughs, head tilted back towards the ceiling. A shiver runs down your spine, Hyunjin is so hot.

“C’mere, kitty.” He grabs the back of your head and tilts your head manually. Stilling, you lay pliant in the others' grasp.

Hyunjin takes a long drag before leaning in, meeting eyes with you wide-eyed and confused. Your lips are parted slightly, just enough so that Hyunjin can lightly press his own against yours to let the smoke travel into your mouth.

The touch is gone as quick as it came.

Hyunjin's own eyes are lidded as he watches. “Suck, inhale, hold, exhale,” he murmurs quietly to you who follows his directions as best as you can, sucking it in like a straw, inhaling, holding, and exhaling.

This time it's much smoother, but the smoke travels from your mouth to Hyunjin’s in a puff, the older boy sucking up the last remnants of it in with confidence.

They're close, so close. You're practically on the other’s lap with how much you had compensated when Hyunjin pulled you in. The air between you is thick as Hyunjin brings the blunt back to his mouth, this time connecting your lips in a real kiss, letting the smoke cloud up around your mouths.

Your eyes flutter shut as they meet, Hyunjin's hand on the back of your head like a brand, heavy and hot. The one that moves to your thigh is no better, tugging on you just enough for you to get the hint that he wants you to sit in his lap. Again, you're a weak woman for Hyunjin, so you go without question.

You feel small like this, sitting in the lap of your friend. You moan against Hyunjin’s mouth as the older grips your waist, it’s not the strongest because the blunt is still between his fingers, but it's more than enough to leave you with the feeling of molten hot desire pooling in your gut.

“Jinnie…” He mumbles into Hyunjin's mouth, curling a fist into his jacket. When he opens his eyes, he sees the gaze the older has fixed on him, lust and want swirling in his dark, hooded eyes.

“Yes, Kitten?” The elder asks teasingly, leaning forward to nip at your plump lower lip. He’s reminded of the blunt in his hands though, pulling it away from your body and taking another hit.

Before he could exhale though, you connect your lips once again, holding onto the side of Hyunjin's face with one of his hands. The kiss is messy, saliva pooling in your mouth and spilling over the corners as Hyunjin kisses you back just as desperately.

But as you continue to share the blunt, your kisses and touches become languid and sweet, delving down into something less rushed. It's still filled with lust however, you're still minutely grinding up or down into each other in the middle of a party on a stranger's couch, but somehow it feels different.

You smile and giggle as you pull away, the weed hasn't hit either of you yet, but you feel light and airy as he stares at Hyunjin.

“Y/N-ah, you're so adorable.” Hyunjin coos, squeezing the side of your waist with no real force. You blush and giggle again, leaning back down to press a peck to the elder's lips. “Jinnie, do you maybe wanna…find a room?” You ask cautiously, making sure to hide yourself in Hyunjin’s neck as you do, hoping that it would serve as a covering.

The content smile on his face grows to a large grin as he cradles the back of your head. “Why don't we go back to my place? It’s only a few minutes from here.” He offers, placing a kiss to your head.

You don't know how the atmosphere changed so quickly. Just a minute ago you were practically cuddling on the couch with a side of kisses and grinding, but now the frottage has gotten out of hand and you're shaking against the elder.

“J-Jinnie! Please, please, please. I’ll be good! I’ll be so good, I swear…” You beg desperately, eyes watering with unshed tears as you stare up at Hyunjin through his lashes.

The older had been teasing you for so long. You just want him to do something to alleviate the ache of your cunt. Hyunjin has his thigh between your legs, pushing down harshly at times, or just simply letting you grind up against him.

He grins down at you. “Yeah? Does my kitty want more?” Hyunjin chides affectionately, his hand holding the side of your face as you relax into the touch.

“Yes.” The way you look is downright seductive. Your clothes aren't even off and your already drooling, hair messy as it lays over your head like a halo, and you're looking up at Hyunjin with these sinfully gorgeous eyes, wide and wanting, pooling with lust. He's sure he doesn't look any better though, just as effected as you in this whole endeavor.

Hyunjin finally lets up, taking his hands back and pulling himself away to take his shirt off. You whine at the loss, but it's soon quieted as you gasp upon seeing Hyunjin without a shirt.

“Jinnie you never told me you worked out…” And for some reason, you sound sad, as if you really were upset that Hyunjin never told you. He pulls off his pants too, letting both articles of clothing fall somewhere on his floor as he moves back to you.

“Baby, are you sure you're ready?” He asks, pausing with his hands on your waist. You thrash, “Jinnie if you don't fuck me right now.” He huffs, trying to sound intimidating but it just comes out as weak and breathless.

Hyunjin's eyes darken, hands working quickly as they rip off your pant and underwear down in one motion, tossing them on the floor and exposing his glistening cunt. “Or what? Hmm Y/N? What are you gonna do if I don't fuck you?” His grip tightens on your hips, blunt nails digging into the soft skin.

There's no bravado in your voice as he speaks, it's lost the longer Hyunjin stares at you with a gaze so hungry and primitive. “I’ll go find someone else.” It's said as a whisper, because it's the furthest thing from the truth—you don't want anyone else other than your Hyunjin to fuck you.

Hyunjin seems to think it's funny, for he tosses his head back in laughter, hands absentmindedly reaching for the fabric that's left on your body.

“We both know you wouldn't even dream of that. ‘Cause you're such a loyal kitten, yeah?” Hyunjin mutters the last part directly into your ear, hot breath hitting the shell and sending a shiver down your spine.

You squeak, Hyunjin's hands finding purchase under your shirt where your chest meets your torso. You nod your head fervently, eyes closing.

Hyunjin only chuckles, crowding into your space. “Yeah, that's right. You're my good girl, aren't you?” It's rhetorical, but you can't help the small, shaky ‘yes’s you let out as Hyunjin kisses down your neck. He pokes his tongue out, letting it taste the subtle saltiness of your skin. Hyunjin sucks harshly at your collarbone, you whimper at the feeling.

“Jinnie. please. Do something…” Your just so desperate. You've been kissing and touching for what feels like hours: Hyunjin has been teasing you for too long and now you're brimming with desire.

When the first tear spills down your cheek, Hyunjin finally takes mercy on you.

“Shh, baby let Jinnie take care of you.” Hyunjin mutters into the furnace that is your skin, pecking the side of your mouth before moving down your body and settling between your legs.

You feel your cunt throb with a fresh spurt of slick as Hyunjin breathes hotly against your folds, just looking. His hands are supporting the underside of your thighs, pushing them up and apart to get a better view.

“Fuck kitty, you're dripping.” And the worst part is that Hyunjin is right. You can feel your arousal as it runs down your legs, it's the dirtiest you've ever felt but you're much too turned on to care.

You're just about to whine for attention again when you feel something warm and hot licking over your clit.

Hyunjin doesn't waste time, sparing you no warning before he abruptly licks a thick stripe up your slit, lapping at the juices that coat your pussy. He groans at the taste, always knowing you would be sweet.

Unable to resist the urge to voice his opinions, Hyunjin speaks his mind. “You taste so good, Y/N.” He hums into you, your pussy clenching around nothing at the praise.

“Jinnie…” You whisper, broken and weak. When Hyunjin looks up at you, your eyes are closed, and your face is drawn up tightly.

Hyunjin sucks harshly at your clit, thighs twitching in his hold. “Ah!” You gasp, your hands instantly moving from their grip on the duvet to lightly grabbing at Hyunjin's hair.

Hyunjin can barely hold back the sounds he’s making, small groans and hums leaving his mouth and vibrating against your entrance as he moves to focus more on it.

Swirling his tongue around the soft hole, he lets your legs rest on his shoulders. You sound so heavenly like this, moaning and whimpering, so fucked out just after a few touches.

His hands massage the skin between your thighs and ass, going back to sucking your clit like candy. Above him, your hands tighten their grip, only serving to spur Hyunjin on.

He flicks his tongue over the swollen bud, pink and puffy with need over and over, making your stomach heave.

“Hyunjin! Ah—Jinnie, so s’good.” You babble, lips shiny and wet with saliva. Hyunjin moans at the sight of drool escaping your mouth and slowly dripping down your chin, feeling his dick throb in his boxers.

He licks into you as if he's been starved his entire life, tongue lapping hungrily over your clit as his nails dig into the soft flesh of your ass. Your legs shake on his shoulders as Hyunjin lets out a long hum, a gasp leaving your mouth at the vibrations. “Hyunjin!” You wail.

In response, Hyunjin presses a wide lick from your entrance to your clit, hooking his tongue around the bud and swirling it around in firm circles. You jolt, the feeling like no other as you moan helplessly.

“Such a good girl, your cunt’s so sweet.” He chuckles, voice gruff as he repeats the action. You are flushed a bright red, cheeks splotchy as tears run down them beautifully.

When your eyes meet, it's heavy, filled with emotion. Your voice is strained as you call for Hyunjin. “Jinnie.” You manage, letting one hand go from Hyunjin's hair in search of one of his own hands.

Hyunjin obliges immediately, slotting your hands together lovingly above your stomach. It's a stark contrast to the way he plunges his tongue back into your sopping entrance, licking up the slick that's now covering his mouth and chin.

He can feel you begin to spasm around him, plush thighs squeezing his head and neck. It’s so hot how you're so desperate, chasing your orgasm as Hyunjin continuously brings you further and further along.

“C’mon baby, be good and cum for Jinnie.” He can feel as you start to crumble, breath becoming much heavier as your eyes start to flutter, moans higher in pitch as you arch your back to push yourself further into Hyunjin's mouth. But it's the next line that really pushes him over the edge.

“Cum for me kitty.” Your mouth is frozen open in a silent scream, air caught in your lungs as your cumming on Hyunjin's face unabashedly. Your body shakes through the process, pussy clenching and unclenching around the elder's tongue in spasmed rhythms.

Hyunjin coaxes you through it all, letting you ride out your high by swallowing every last drop of your release. He doesn't stop until you push his head away with a trembling hand.

When Hyunjin comes up from his spot between your legs, he's met with your glassy eyes looking up at him with a sad look. “‘n/n what's wrong? Did I go too far? Was it too much?” He worries, words slipping from his mouth at a fast pace as his hands come up to cup your warm cheeks.

You shake your head. “Jin, you haven't come yet.” You mumble, pointing down to the very obvious boner he’s sporting. Hyunjin only laughs, thankful that he hadn't overstepped.

“It's okay pretty, I just wanted you to feel good.” Hyunjin assures, kissing your swollen lips sweetly. But it seems like it was the wrong thing to say because now your whining into his mouth.

Pulling away with wide eyes, Hyunjin gives you a curious look. “I want you to…” You look away, blushing furiously, and Hyunjin decides he will be having none of that, turning your head his way again.

“Want me to what?” He pushes, eyes now teasing and expectant. You wriggle in his grip, squirming under the heated gaze.

“‘Wan you to cum on me…” It's barely even a whisper, but Hyunjin still hears, breaking out into a large grin as you look away yet again.

Hyunjin lets go of your face, settling himself between the younger’s legs again. “Yeah? Is that what the kitty wants?” He drawls lowly, reaching into his boxers and releasing his cock from its restraints. He won’t last long at all, his cock is a violet red and it stands up tall, slapping against his stomach.

Gasping when you see the length, you can't help but imagine what it would look like to fit that inside you, what would it feel like. You always knew Hyunjin would be big, but this reaches new lengths.

Hyunjin sees the inner turmoil inside your mind. “Don't worry. Next time, I’ll open you up real nice for me.” He hums, wrapping his hand around the girth and sliding it against the wet surface of your still swollen pussy. Flinching at the sensation, you wince as the head of his cock rubs on his clit so deliciously.

Just as he had thought, it barely takes Hyunjin anything to come, the image of you biting his plump lips and looking up at him while your legs are spread so prettily is more than enough for him to be spilling over his hand with white, hot ropes squirting onto your folds with a loud groan.

He lays himself on top of you after that, careful of his weight but still cuddling into you. You were just so warm and soft. You can't blame him.

“I love you.” Hyunjin blurts into the hot skin of your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you tight. You giggle in his arms, placing a shy kiss on Hyunjin's temple.

“I love you too.”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

The shorter version: Hey could you talk about stone tops more? Or anything like that, people who like giving but not recieving?

The longer version: I’m sort of going through that process of self discovery, I’ve been meaning to ask about it somehow- basically I am sexually attracted to people (I think??), I get aroused, I enjoy masturbating, even talking with my partner about stuff we could do is arousing to me. I enjoy some submissive kinky stuff. Hell, my boyfriend (transmasc, both of us are) recently let me go down on him and it was like a fucking religious experience, I LOVED it, but I find it really difficult to enjoy anything being done directly to /my/ genitals. Like, I can feel the sensations, and they feel good, but I don’t build any arousal, like I can’t get in the mood? I know I’m not, but I do feel fucked up and broken. Spiritually, I want my boyfriend to rail me into next week, but physically I’m afraid there’s like. Something wrong with me, like,, I don’t work??? Idk. I’ve got major anxiety, I’ve got dysphoria, I guess I always figured it was one of those things. There’s only so many times I can feel Way Too Seen by fanfiction about Noted Asexual, Archivist Jonathan Sims before I start to wonder what exactly they’ve hit directly on the head, if that makes sense. I’m not asking you to Diagnose Me Asexual lmaoo but I was wondering about more like… asexual adjacent things? My boyfriend suggested I look into “service top” too. I… don’t feel like a top? I’m very submissive. But I’ve heard it’s not always top= dom, bottom=sub… how can I be a submissive top?

Sorry this is… so much. It’s really been weighing on me. Even if you don’t feel up to answering this I thank you profusely for the sex ed content you’ve been posting lately. Demystifying sex and promoting sexual health is so incredibly important, and even just what I’ve read from you makes a difference in the agency I feel over my sex life.

hi anon,

weeeeeee!!! this is a fun one.

so, first off, I'm just gonna throw this out there: liking the idea of something - for instance, your boyfriend railing you into next week - is not an innate sign that that's something you'd like in real life. I'll jack off to the idea of getting railed like Thomas the Tank Engine, sure, but in real life vaginal penetration has never felt like much of anything to me + I haaaaAAAAaaaate the idea of doing anything with even a teeny tiny slight chance of getting me pregnant. some stuff is fine to stay in the brain!

if you do ever decide to tentatively explore it with your bf, that's also fine and wonderful, but let's focus on what we know about your likes right now. you don't want to get fucked (awesome) but you like going down (also awesome). none of that means you are or aren't asexual, btw, there are loads of asexuals in the world who love to get railed and hate going down and also feel every possible way about every other possible array of sex acts. you're only asexual if you want to be, keep that in mind.

you're also only stone or a service top or whatever else if you want to be. words exist to be useful, not as an innate ontological truth to discover within yourself. personally I think it's waaaaay more important for people to refine their sense of likes, dislikes, communication, and boundary-setting than finding the exact right word for their particular cup of tea.

as long as we're talking about terminology, let's get into dom/sub and top/bottom. you're absolutely correct that they're not interchangeable, whatever the hooligans on various hellsites would have you believe. dom and sub are terms for power exchange play, when two people enact a power differential in which one partner is consensually given a great deal of control over the other, be it physically, psychologically, financially, or what have you. top/bottom simply refer to who is acting vs who is being acted upon during a sexual act; while some people identify intensely as either a top or a bottom, it's also a simple matter for those roles to switch on a dime depending on what kind of sex you're into. it's completely possible to have sex without designating anyone the top or bottom, and I'd argue that most people have sex without there actually being a dom or sub involved.

so can dom bottom, or a sub top? of course; people can mix and match whatever pieces of sexuality they want in their own explorations. a dom can boss their sub around like a little servant, giving them extremely detailed instructions about exactly how to rail them, and perhaps punish them (in the fun consensual way, obviously) if they fail to meet those expectations and don't get their dom off the way that was wanted. you can, and I cannot possibly emphasize this enough, do whatever you want forever.

a service top, incidentally, is generally considered a separate thing from a dom (which is not to say they can't overlap!) in that a service top isn't always dominating, but is topping because they enjoy getting their partner off in whatever way they like. the overlap of service tops and folks who are stone is notable!

in your particular case I would recommend not worrying so much about which of these terms, if any, are the correct one for you and focus way ore on exploring and playing with your partner to find a rhythm that works well for the two of you. doms, subs, tops, and bottoms all have something useful to teach people about how they like intimacy, but there's no rush to figure out which category, if any, you fit in. just focus on what's fun and feels good to you and toss the rest.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for not noticing I hurt my friend's feelings?

I (24F) had a somewhat close friend (24F) whom I've known since highschool but only got closer to recently. I've had a friend crush on her forever and apparently she did too. We share a lot of interests and we're both neurodivergent (I'm diagnosed with adhd, and we're almost certain she has autism). We also sort of bonded over a shared trauma -- basically we got two-timed several years ago by a really abusive asshole.

Anyway something happened a couple of months ago and I feel our friendship has gone downhill since then. It was multiple occasions really: what would happen is that I would say something impulsively, and she would misinterpret it and get sensitive about it, we talk it out, I apologize, and we move on. But one time it was a bit too much that i burst into tears while texting her because I felt I really hurt her and I felt that all my friendships will go downhill because whenever I get comfortable with someone I just completely lose my filter and end up hurting them. What happened that day was that we were hanging out and a guy apparently told her something sexist but I didn't hear him. She came to me to complain and I sort of brushed it off because from the way she said it happened it just seemed he was vaguely pointing out something but I later understood that I was just wrong. Then her dress had a tiny hole which I pointed out to her in front of my boyfriend rather impulsively and she got really upset about that. Later on I was telling her about a book I'd read that had great autism representation that didn't have the character just be -- and here I did the dinosaur arms thing (no offense whatsoever to people who do that; I know full well it's a common thing, I was just saying the character had more to him than just that). The problem is that she didn't hear the part where I was talking about a book character because we were changing tables in a crowded cafe and I was just talking non-stop because that's what I do and she thought I just did the dinosaur arms out of nowhere and got offended but didn't say so except over text later and just looked unwell for the rest of the next half hour before she suddenly excused herself and left. That day she texted me about all of these things and we talked it out and I pretended that I was not literally having a meltdown all while apologizing (but not before I tried to plead my case a bit). This all happened on the same day, but before that there were other occasions too. One time she would be talking about something, then I change the subject, then she'd say I know you didn't mean to but I wanted you to give a reply to what I just said. Another time we had a particularly bad exam which I did okay on, but she was telling about how she botched it. I couldn't tell from her face how serious it was and I gave her what i thought was a sympathetic smile (which she later told me was a weird smile) because I really didn't know what to say and then turned away to look for my boyfriend to check on him as well. She told me that day that she felt that I brushed her off when she was having a difficult time and didn't console her enough.

It's just multiple things that made me feel that I need to be more on guard around her for her sake. She moved to another city recently and even before that we were texting less and less. I even asked her if she was upset about the cafe day and she said no since I apologized and we talked it out, but I could feel something in our relationship changed. It just felt like such a shame because I felt a great connection between us and I have massive difficulties when it comes to making friends. She was sort of my last friend that I felt close to aside from my boyfriend, and now I can't help thinking that the problem has always been me.

Sorry if the post was too long and sorry for the sob story lol

[mt-oe]

this is VERY random but I felt like would be a funny write.. so i'm like 98% sure I have scoliosis and I am going in for an appointment soon (my spine when someone runs their finger on it is literally curved as an s, and I have a lot of the symptoms, sigh.) , but- modern!mizu x reader with scoliosis plspls?? it doesn't need to be much, it could just be headcanons, or writing, but maybe she helps reader out with body positivity because the readers self image gets tainted after being diagnosed with it, and they have it kinda severe and are ashamed of needing to use a back brace. She is just there for the reader through it all, even if reader needs surgery and is MORTIFIED of spinal injections and hates needles. just something comforting would work if you end up writing for this, thank you!! :)

𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮, 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚—modern mizu x reader

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Hey dear!

Sorry this took a while! My hand has been swelling quite a lot lately and has been a bit painful.

Thank you for this really fun and unique idea <3 I'm so sorry to hear about your scolio but I hope the treatment plan wouldn't be too harsh or sudden for you.

I hope this will lighten up your mood.

Enjoy! Mwa mwa :*

warning: not proofread, body insecurties, she/her for mizu. implied afab reader

"I just don't think you get it!" you whined at Mizu before taking a bite out of your food.

It was just a regular day for Mizu, working on her term-end project. Just as she was about to head out for lunch, you had called her. Despite not being able to understand your ramblings through the phone, your exasperated tone was enough to unnerve her.

Now she was here, eating her sandwich while you ranted to her about your recent doctor's trip.

And you were right, she doesn't get it. Mizu was the type of person to never complain about any bodily pains and just takes it in like a champ. But for you, she was willing to try to understand.

She stared at you as she munched on her food before setting it down on the plate. "Calm down. Just try to explain it better," she sighed out, rolling her eyes at you.

You took a deep breath, groaning into your hands before looking up at her with a slight glare. Another deep breath escaped your lips as your eyes softened and traveled to the pieces of vegetables that had fallen from your food. "I got an x-ray done the other day and just went in for a physical examination today. The doctor told me I have scoliosis and I...I don't know what to do."

"I mean I know I complain about my back hurting all the time but now it feels...different," you ranted, putting your own sandwich down and sighing. "It feels so overwhelming to know that what I considered normal was something far worse after all."

Mizu listened to your words intently as she munched on her sandwich. She had always noticed how curved your back was and was always there to help whenever you complained about your back pain but never really felt the necessity to point it out. The news of your diagnosis didn't really surprise her and she honestly thought the curve of your back was something that added quirkiness to you, but she understood why and how overwhelmed you were.

A moment of silence overtook the two of you for a moment as both of you took a bite out of your food before she looked up. "And did they mention anything about treatment?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

You opened your mouth before closing it again, letting out another groan. The treatment plan was what made this whole situation worse for you. "Surgery," you said simply, looking down at your food. She tilted her head a bit, eyebrow raised higher, looking at you directly with wide eyes. "Excuse me?" she asked, voice holding a bit of disbelief.

"Back braces might not work for me anymore since I'm a grown adult so surgery is my next option," you replied, looking away. The idea of getting such an invasive procedure done made your throat tighten up at the thought. "I'm honestly really really fucking scared..."

Her eyes looked away as well, unsure of how to comfort you but she really wanted to. She knew how bad, how scared, how heavy you were feeling at the moment but her own inability to properly express the words she wanted to say was preventing her from comforting you.

Instead, she reached up to your head before patting it, corners of her lips curving up slightly in attempt to give you a comforting smile. You raised an eyebrow at her action, finding it adorable at the same time new. "It really is scary, huh? But...you can do it. I'm sure of that," she said in a softer tone as compared to her usual. "I can go with you if you want," she offered as she continued patting your head, her other hand gently pushing your sandwich closer to you.

Your hands took your sandwich, a small smile slowly crept up to your face while you took a bite out of it. "I-I'll tell you if I need help," you said as you chuckled slightly. "Just feels bad knowing there's something wrong with my body."

"Nothing's wrong with your body,." Her hand slowly traced your face before letting go to take a bite out of her sandwich. "Diagnosed or not, you're still the same. You will always be the same to me," she chuckled.

She took a napkin and leaned forward, wiping the sauce off of the corners of your lips.

"Same face." wipe

"Same personality." wipe

"And same corny, whiny attitude," she joked, earning a small "hey!" from you. You pouted at her playfully, holding back the smile that was once again creeping up to your face.

Mizu let out a huff of amusement and joy at the sight of your held-back smile, somehow feeling relieved that she was able to comfort you even just a bit. "But most of all, you'll still have the same wonderful soul," she said in a softer tone.

You finally allowed yourself to smile and take the last bite out of your food. "Even if they put a metal rod in my back?" you joked. She laughed before patting your head again. "Even with a metal rod in your back," she replied reassuringly.

A soft laugh escaped your lips as you fixed your hair again once Mizu stopped patting you. "Didn't really expect you to get to sweet and sappy...but I'm thankful to have you with me." You gently grasped her hand, looking at it fondly before meeting her gaze.

The feeling of joy and relief in knowing someone will be there for you overtook your body, making you stand up and go over to her side to hug her., "Thank you, Mizu. For comforting me and being here for me."

Her body stiffened up at the sudden hug before slowly warming up to it. A small smile tugged on her lips as nodded, acknowledging what you had just said. "Don't thank me and don't worry too much. You're okay...you're fine."

[followthebluebell]

hello! my cat was recently diagnosed with asthma, and her vet says her treatment will be steroids indefinitely (shes currently taking 1ml twice a day, but the goal is to get down to 0.5ml 1/day, as long as that dose is still effective). overall im lucky shes fairly docile, i know my other cats would be a lot more difficult to medicate, but im still struggling with getting the medicine in her mouth. she jerks her head away quickly, and a lot of the time the medicine either misses and gets everywhere, or she'll open her mouth and dump some of it back out. i cant seem to be quick enough with the syringe to get all the liquid in her mouth and have her swallow it.

do you have any advice to make this easier for the both of us? i know itll never be Easy easy, since i cant explain to her that its for her own good, but im stressing that shes not actually getting the medicine since its hard to tell how much got in her mouth and got swallowed. thank you so much for your time, i really really appreciate it even if you dont have any tips.

as payment i present: The Penguin in question. shes such a sweet girl. i just want her to feel better ):

Hello! I'm sorry to hear your kitty is ill--- asthma is tricky to handle, so it's good that you've got a treatment plan already in progress.

so, it really depends on what kind of medication she's taking. 'Steroids' is a pretty broad group and there are several steroids commonly used for asthma in cats that can be compounded into a tastier form, like small tabs that are much easier to crush and hide in food. Some steroids can even be made into a transdermal paste that just goes on their ear. Personally, I find that transdermal medications don't work as well as oral, but it's something to talk to your vet about.

I strongly encourage you to discuss other options with your vet to see if this is a possibility. Absolutely keep those lines of communication open and explain that you've been having problems dosing your cat.

Another alternative is to try hiding the liquid medication in an especially tasty treat, like a churu or baby food. A LOT of cats absolutely love chicken or ham baby food and it's perfectly safe as long as the baby food doesn't have onions or garlic in it. I know it's VERY controversial but I've also hidden particularly bitter medications in whipped cream--- some cats have very violent stomach upsets from dairy, so it's a VERY calculated risk!

Roomba is pretty difficult to medicate. Due to her various food sensitivities, it's not really an option to compound her medication with flavors. She's also very difficult to burrito, she's too tiny for my typical cat restraint methods, and she won't eat her food if her meds are mixed in. I typically just load up her syringe with SLIGHTLY more medication than is called for and administer it quickly, hoping that most of it stays in her mouth; since pred is very cheap, I'm willing to risk losing some. It's also important to aim for the upper mouth, towards the back, without actually getting it IN her throat directly, because that's a choking risk.

Picking her up quickly by her armpits encourages her to swallow. I don't let her feet leave the floor when i do this, because it's uncomfortable for cats to dangle like that. Just the quick pick-up seems to do it. Gently blowing air in her face also seems to work.

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

i love my mom but man does it suck when she starts talking to me about god shit. because it always leads to her trying to guilt trip me into being more religious, saying things like, “it makes your dad and i very sad that you don’t believe in god” and “you’re depressed like this because you don’t talk to god.” when i tell her that choosing not to go to church anymore is one of the few choices in my life that i don’t regret, she gets upset with me. sorry, going to go on a little bit of a rant about family and religion here (specifically catholic/christian), but i’ll stick it below the cut.

usually this convo comes up when my cousin is mentioned, because my mom and my aunt will gush about how my cousin goes to church every sunday. this happened today actually. they ignore the fact that my cousin is still a horribly spoiled, selfish, honestly terrible person who yells at/doesn’t bother to help her physically disabled, sickly mom. my “wonderful church-going” cousin who left to go on a vacation to hawaii with my shit uncle, leaving my aunt alone at home even though she had covid AND had recently broken her back. which led to me having to take 2 weeks off of work at the last minute to go stay with my aunt and take care of her. during those 2 weeks, my “wonderful” 20-something-year-old cousin would repeatedly call my aunt to cry and complain that she wanted to come home because she “didn’t feel good.” and my aunt, laying in bed with her broken back and various other health issues, would baby her. oh, but my cousin goes to church, so that means she’s such a good person! i just don’t get it.

one of the reasons i refuse to go to church anymore is because of this backwards-ass hypocritical way of thinking so many people there seem to have. there’s just this feeling of insincerity to it all where people show up once a week to pat themselves on the back for being “good people”, then gather in the lobby after mass to gossip about the one trans woman who recently joined the congregation (unfortunately this isn’t an example i made up). or later go to the supermarket and yell at an underpaid employee. or go on a hawaii vacation and leave your mom home alone with a broken back.

i attended church from age 1 to age 18. as i grew older, church started to feel more and more suffocating. it got to the point where i was having anxiety attacks during mass. i tried distracting myself with drawing on the pamphlets given out at the front door. and when i was banned from that, i resorted to drawing on my skin, which didn’t last long. i ended up sneaking earbuds in and hiding the wires under my hair and clothes so i could drown out the sounds of church with music. i would just stare at the floor and try to just focusing on breathing, but it was just all too suffocating. i was told that the reason i was feeling and acting this way in church was because “the devil was talking to me.” “the devil” was trying to take me away from church and god, so i needed to stop feeling like this and just pray. that time i started crying in the pew because it all became too much and i felt incredibly overwhelmed? that’s the devil. pray about it. uh, actually, mr. jesus, it was because i have bad social and generalized fuckin anxiety. and also very likely autistic but i haven’t been officially diagnosed until this day. so yeah.

thinking back on it now, it was kind of fucked up. but i don’t blame my parents for how they acted. sometimes i feel a little angry and disappointed about how they handled things, but i don’t blame them. because as i watched kids be baptized, i would hear the priest tell the parents that it was their responsibility to raise their kid to be a good god-fearing person. that it was their responsibility to keep their kid from “straying from the light” and avoiding damnation. i know my parents were told the same thing when i was baptized. that it’ll be their fault if i “stray from the light” and end up getting sent to hell. i just see it as guilt-tripping bullshit. it was my choice to not go to church or follow the religion. i hate that this system has told my parents they should feel guilty about this and that it’s their fault that my soul won’t be saved, because they didn’t “guide me in the lord’s way” good enough. i hate that this system has made me feel like i’ve failed my parents. it’s bullshit.

i’m sure there are churches out there who contain genuinely good, accepting folk. and i’m sure there are people who find comfort in having a religion. i’m glad for them. i’ve just personally have some negative experiences with religion and I’ve learned that it’s just not for me.

i try my best to be a good and kind person. i try really, really hard. i just don’t go to church anymore. the fact that i don’t do this one thing shouldn’t devalue all my efforts.

[chronicially-parker]

☆ hEDS!reader x spencer reid ☆

authors note: its 1 am and for some reason i felt like writing!! im in the process of getting diagnosed for hEDS (hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrom) and i need some spencer reid fluffiness ♡

-whenever you need to use a mobility aid or need a lift to the hospital during a particularly bad dislocation you bet that he is 100% dropping everything hes doing to help you

-you use forearm crutches? awesome! hes getting stickers for you to decorate with! wheelchair? hes already ordered a custom pillow/padding! rollator? hes recently been learning how to crochet so you know that he is defs going to crochet some covers for the seat!

-he is just so sweet whenever it comes to you, whether youre having a bad pain day or not he will always be by your side

-if you have hypermobile fingers like i do, odds are you hurt them on buttons and other things really easily, so spencer always has a full set of ring splints on him at all times

-he has a little section in his satchel dedicated to anything you might need whether that be a knee brace, strapping tape, painkillers hes got it

-he documents of all your pain and where it is just in case you ever need to share it with your doctors

-he gets so angry whenever accessibility is an issue when youre going out

-"this is ridiculous! dont they know that people with disabilities make up 16% of the worlds population? thats 1.3 BILLION people! its horrific!"

-how can one man be so babygirl ♡🥹

sorry for the short hc! felt like writing something, still no clue why but i wasnt about to let it go to waste haha! luv you all ♡

[plotting-against-you]

My Own Worst Enemy

Fandom: One Chicago

Characters: Halstead Sister Reader, Jay Halstead, Will Halstead, Dr. Charles, Ethan Choi, Maggie Lockwood

Summary: You have a relapse in your anorexia, and no one knows until you show up at Med.

Warnings: Eating Disorders (i.e., anorexia) and their symptoms and habits.

Author's Note: I know nothing about anorexia, so I had to google it. If this comes off in any way incorrect, please know that I'm sorry. Also, if you ever find yourself in this situation, please seek help...I know it's hard, but we want you safe and healthy.

It started with a harmless comment. That’s what anyone would have thought, though you knew it wasn’t harmless. Not to you at least.

You had just gotten a full-time job at your local library, which seemed heaven-sent. You’d always loved being around books, so it all seemed to click when you found this job online.

Then the comment came.

You were eating during your allotted thirty-minute lunch break in the staff break room a week after starting when two women walked in from another department. You hadn’t met them yet but cringed when you saw their figures.

You hadn’t had the easiest time growing up. You were constantly picked on and developed an eating disorder at sixteen. Coincidentally, that was when your mom got sick, so you hid your illness in an attempt to keep the focus on her. It worked…until it didn’t.

You’d landed in the hospital where they diagnosed you with anorexia, and you’d had to work extra hard to come back from it ever since.

Seeing the women and their “perfect” figures didn’t make you recoil as it once would have, but their comments did.

“Girl, you brought a whole package of turkey to work? How many sandwiches are you planning on making?”

The other woman shrugged. “Don’t make fun of me! I like my turkey sandwiches, okay? Besides, you know I could eat a whole horse and not gain a pound.”

You looked down at the leftover beef stew in front of you and slowly laid down your fork. You had been having a stressful time recently with the new job, and your already fragile psyche took the hit as if it were a personal attack on you.

Boxing up what was left of the dinner you’d had at Jay and Hailey’s the night before, you tossed it in the garbage and grabbed a water.

“This is all I need today.” You told yourself. “I’ll do better tomorrow.”

…

You hadn’t done better tomorrow.

In fact, it had been weeks since you had started up your old habits. Luckily for you, it was easy to hide the signs from your family since it was just Jay and Will, and they’d both been working weird hours, making it impossible to see each other.

You had just gotten home from your day at work, having had nothing more than a bottle of water for lunch, and leaned against the couch in exhaustion. Though you grew increasingly tired every day, you found it hard to sleep at night.

You knew that was a symptom of the disease that had come back in full force, but you refused to accept it.

Dropping your bag, it made a thud on the floor, and you blinked your eyes a few times to clear them of the dots that danced in your vision. You were dizzy, but you refused to call your brothers for help.

Just as the thought entered your mind, your phone rang, and everything went dark as you reached to answer it.

…

You woke up on the floor behind your couch, your head pounding, your stomach growling, and your phone still ringing.

Reaching out an arm to search for your phone, you pulled it to your ear and scrunched your face in annoyance. “Hello?”

There was a pause. “Thank fuck.”

You continued to lie on the floor but opened your eyes in confusion. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve called you like twelve times.” Jay’s voice said on the other line. “I thought maybe you had been hurt or something.”

“I was napping.” You lied, though you figured it was close to the truth. “It’s been a long day.”

Jay snorted. “You work at a library. How hard can that be?”

“You’d be surprised.”

He ignored you. “Well, did you forget that you were supposed to meet Will and I at Molly’s for a drink tonight?”

“Shit. That was tonight?” Between focusing on work and spending your free time counting your calories, you’d forgotten about the invitation from your brothers. “I’m sorry. I’m exhausted.”

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” Jay’s voice sounded concerned.

“I’m fine, honest. Just tired. Rain check?” You ignored the fact that you were still lying on the ground.

Jay sighed, disappointment filling his tone. “Okay. We’ll do it another night.”

“Thanks, Jay.” You told him as you hung up.

Then you lay on the floor, resting a hand on your aching stomach. It had been some time since you’d put anything other than water and some nuts into it but couldn’t bring yourself to care.

You would soon be at your ideal weight, and everything would return to normal.

…

You nearly screamed when you brushed your hair the following day and found a large chunk of it tangled in the brush. Your hair started falling out again, as it had when you were younger, and you sighed.

You knew you needed help, but you didn’t want any. You liked this control, and you liked having this ideal image in your head.

Ignoring the anxious pit in your stomach, you continued to get ready for work and left your apartment. Everything would be fine, you told yourself.

And it was…until midday.

You had been in the stacks trying to locate a book for a patron when the dizziness set in. Blinking it away, you reached for the top shelf when the world tilted on its axis, and you were suddenly lying on the ground staring up at the ceiling.

People were around you immediately, but everything sounded like a train flying past your ears. Sitting up, you waved everyone off but let your director pull you into the first aid room.

He grabbed a bottle of water and had you sit while he pulled out your emergency contact information. “You’re okay, Y/N. I’m going to call your emergency contact to pick you up and get you checked out.”

Groaning, you tried to stop him. “It’s okay, really. My brother is a doctor. I’ll just get him to check me out after my shift.”

The last thing you needed was for him to call Jay, your first emergency contact, or Will, your secondary contact. They would freak out, and you didn’t want them to know anything about this.

“Y/N, you collapsed. That’s not something we play around with here.” Your boss told you.

You shook your head and went to stand when the world went black again, and you crumpled to the ground.

…

“Dr. Choi! We’ve got incoming.” Maggie yelled to the physician and turned to the ambulance bay as the doors opened.

“What do we got?” He asked, running over and meeting the eyes of the paramedic.

“Thirty-year-old female collapsed at work twice. Lost consciousness on the second fall. Severely malnourished and dehydrated. BP is low, and so is her blood sugar.”

Looking down at you, Ethan sighed. He knew what this probably meant and knew your brothers would be worried. “Mags, keep them out of my treatment room until after I’ve finished.”

“You got it.” She told him and looked at you worriedly.

As they transferred you to a hospital gurney, Ethan shined his pen light into your eyes. “Y/N? Can you hear me?”

Your face contorted in disgust, trying to escape the light as you nodded. “Hmm…yeah.”

“Can you open your eyes for me?”

“If you stop shining a light in them….” You muttered but instantly felt terrible. “I’m sorry….”

Ethan shook his head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Y/N.”

He rattled off a bunch of tests to the nurse before you bit your lip. “I’m screwed, aren’t I?”

He sighed. “Y/N…you know how this looks. You can either let me run a bunch of unnecessary tests, or you can let me call Dr. Charles, and we can get this over with sooner.”

“What about my brothers?” You asked meekly.

“I can keep them out until after you talk to Dr. Charles if you want?” He suggested though he knew he’d have a battle on his hands.

You nodded. “Please.”

“Okay. I’ll have Maggie page Dr. Charles, and we’ll go from there.”

…

While he usually walked into work at a leisurely pace, Will found himself rushing inside to meet his brother. “What happened?”

Jay shrugged. “I don’t know, man. Her boss called and said she’d passed out twice at work today, but when I got here, Maggie and Ethan told me I had to wait out here.”

Turning to look at the nurse, Will’s eyes held fury before Ethan stepped in. “Will, she asked for some time. Dr. Charles is in with her right now, and then you can go in.”

“Dr. Charles?” Jay asked him. “But why would-”

The thought dawned on both brothers simultaneously, and they looked sadly at each other. It had been nearly fifteen years since they had dealt with this, but it looked like your worst enemy was back and swinging.

The door opened, and Dr. Charles walked out of the treatment room. “Boys. You can go in now.”

Jay took off the second the words came out, but Will stayed back, looking at his colleague in fear and anguish.

“Is it…it’s back, isn’t it?” The redhead asked him.

The seasoned doctor sighed. “She’s permitted me to tell you this, so yes…her anorexia is apparent again. She said she’s been dealing with it for a few weeks now.”

The eldest Halstead looked towards your room and sighed. “I wish we’d known. It’s the same thing that happened before, you know? We didn’t know until she ended up in the hospital.”

“This can be a tough thing.” Dr, Charles told him. “But you know as well as I do that recovery is possible, and you had to know that a relapse could happen.”

Will nodded. “Yeah, I just thought we were in the clear.”

“Well, I can tell you that we came up with a therapy plan and scheduled a meeting with a nutritionist. I can also tell you that your sister is very strong but very scared of what you might be feeling, so please…go in and see her.”

Nodding almost robotically, Will moved over to your room and sighed as he took in your appearance. “Hey, kid.”

You raised your tear-filled eyes to him but kept your grip on Jay’s hand. “I’m so sorry.”

Will moved forward instantly and came to your side, brushing the bangs out of your face. “You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N/N.”

“What happened?” Jay asked quietly.

You bit your lip. “I’ve been really stressed lately, and then someone made a comment at work…it just slid away from there. I didn’t mean for it to get this bad.”

“When I called you last night, and you said you’d been napping?”

You looked at Jay sadly. “I had passed out in my apartment and didn’t want to tell you.”

“Y/N…you can’t be doing this to yourself,” Will told you. “I know you’ve started on a plan with Dr. Charles, but will you let us help you, too?”

You nodded slowly. “Please. I need help.”

“And you’re going to get it,” Will promised his little sister.

Jay sighed. “Listen, I think you should move in with Hailey and I…at least for a little while. It might be easier to handle if you have support around you.”

You snorted. “You just don’t want me home alone in case I relapse again.”

He looked at you sadly. “Can you blame me?”

You shook your head. “No…no, I can’t. And I will take you up on that offer so long as Hailey’s okay with it.”

“She will be. You know she loves you.” Jay smiled, though it was strained. “You know we love you, too, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I love you both right back.”

[gayengineers]

If you don’t mind, how were people annoying during Dan’s most recent show?

I there! I don't want to be harsh about the other fans, I really did meet some great ones as well.

I personally think people were being annoying for various reasons.

A lot were acting very entitled and rude towards the venue staff who were simply doing their jobs. I think it was the level of entitlement that annoyed me the most. Fans were almost shaming others for really stupid things and were generally just really irritating. I don't think they were intentionally being dickheads to the staff. But this is something I have seen a lot with people in fandoms. Just so many people with superiority complexes and too big of an ego.

There was also a lot of comparing who had the most merch or was the most insane for Dan. Tbh there were times it was actually quite concerning the things they were saying. Like a 26 stating she has Dan and Phil cut outs in her room, shes got 6 copies of all their books and has to watch their videos every single day. I just worry about people like that, like do they really not have anything else going on?

Amongst all this, the lack of social awareness, armchair diagnosing and showing off about failing university I just found myself feeling like I'd jumped back into 2014.

There was also someone cosplaying as Phil, which idk always makes me feel weird. Like he isn't a character? He's a real person??

But yeah, I just really hate fandom culture a lot of the time and like the fans it breeds. I'm quite happy in my little corner and I don't wish to change it. If they're happy doing what they're doing, fine. But they do need to learn social awareness and how to respect others. Especially those who are simply working at the venue.

Sorry for the long reply!!

[intosnarkness]

sorry im new, who's cancerkid? your cat??

my nickname for my roommate, Nat or Nathaniel (but never Nate). he's had cancer for 10+ years now and if i don't laugh about it i will kill a man

you guys want the deep lore? here's the deep lore:

we met in the summer 2006 when i went to interview for a job on campus. the first words we said to each other were something like "hi, i'm here to see jen?" and "ok, wait over there." how about that for a soulmark?

i graduated in 2007, after a year of working with him, and right when i did, someone else got a new job and there was suddenly space at the bottom of the pool for me. that is the sole reason i have my career. dumb fucking luck.

in 2009 he was instrumental in seeing how bored i was as a front desk person and offering me my own building on campus. if that hadn't happened, i never would have gone to grad school.

at some point in circa-2011, his on-again, off-again girlfriend went off again right around the time his lease was up and he wanted to move in with her. i wanted out of my apartment, so we got a house together.

(the girlfriend did live with us for a while, but she is welcome to go fuck herself because she broke up with him the day after his first radio iodine treatment)

in 2013 he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. he has had 4 neck surgeries because in 2014 they found a metathesis to the lymph system. So two partial thyroidectomies and 2 radical neck dissections. the last was in August of 2019. At that time we knew he had an inoperable tumor behind his trachea that they weren't going to remove. it has been wait and see since, he gets biannual neck scans.

they recently found more lymph nodes that have a high chance of being carcinomas and neither of us is doing great with that news.

he also recently fell in love with a girl and while i am extremely excited for them, i have started wrestling with the idea of us splitting up. it will be a divorce.

who is cancerkid? he's my best friend and my brother and my roommate. i want so much better for him.

[k-marzolf]

Make me perfect.

reader as ADHD (written from MY experience with it after being diagnosed, once as a child, and once as an adult. Please keep in mind everyone experiences it differently), friends to lovers, fluff, fem!reader.

Word count; 419.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

&&&

It was late, and you and Billy were having some drinks, and playing Battleship, something you and your mother had played when you were growing up, before she died.

“A5.” Billy said, growing increasingly frustrated, watching your expression. You had a good poker face.

“No.” You said. You were slower to make a move, and Billy realized you were thinking it through, where his ships could be based on your recent fires.

You’d already taken down one of his ships. “D7.” You said sipping your sangria, looking up at him.

“Hit.” He said frowning, leaning back looking at you. “I haven’t had a challenge like this since Frank. How’re you doing it?” He asked, drinking his beer.

“Probability. Figuring the statistics in my head, based on where I’ve hit you.” You said, jiggling your leg as you always did. You fidgeted a lot, and usually lost interest in things quickly. You were always moving to one thing after another, keeping Billy on his toes.

And your organizational skills were terrible, your bookcase was random. Not alphabetical, not by series or color, just books thrown in there.

And your kitchen was a nightmare. Tupperware with the pots and pans, and spices with the canned goods.

He stared at you, “You musta done good in school, sweet pea.” He said, watching you.

“No. They said I wasn’t smart enough to be with the class, but I wasn’t slow enough to be in special education. I just worked hard, but I could never please my father.” You answered softly, nervously taking another drink.

“E7.” He said, processing what you’d said. In other words your father thought you were stupid. It made Billy angry.

“Hit.” You said, fidgeting more, eyes moving towards the living room.

He hummed, “Bored, baby?” He asked, amused.

You leaned back, eyes raising to Billy’s, “Want you to read Dorian Gray to me.” You said, finishing off your drink, a little buzzed.

Billy laughed, having learned to roll with whatever you threw at him. “And just as I got a hit on you.”

“Sorry. Dad always said I could be brilliant if I’d just hold my attention.” You mumbled.

He huffed a laugh, ruffling your hair. “It’s all good.” He stood up, and you followed, cheeks warm. You curled up against him, buzzing with contentment; reading with Billy was the one thing you could focus on for an extended period of time.

He wrapped an arm around you, and began to read, his voice rumbling against you, comforting you.

Here, you were accepted.

[chronicowboy]

you left your mark on this heart | 6k

(OR: buck is medically diagnosed with butterflies, it takes a medical professional for him to see the pattern right under his nose)

Buck isn't the same twenty-eight-year-old kid who pushes beyond all his boundaries and ignores an ache in his leg mindless of consequences until said consequences are coughed up with blood in front of his family and friends. He's grown, he's lived, he's died, and he's no longer defining himself by his job as the be-all and end-all. He's thirty-one, and his back aches after sleeping on Eddie's couch for a night, and he's maybe slightly terrified of returning to work after a bolt of lightning went through him like a carving fork through meat. So, he's almost relieved when he notices the oddity in his heartbeat.

The first time he notices it is when he escapes the endless rota of visitors at his loft for the warm embrace of the Diaz house. It's hard to focus on it when Eddie smiles at him like he's been waiting for this to happen since Buck left the hospital and yet still it's the smile of a man discovering he's won the lottery. It's hard to focus on it when Eddie calls him sir and looks at him like he's trying to see through Buck's chest to make sure his heart is still beating away—looks like he's trying to decide if it would be too much to ask to take care of Buck's heart for him, to tuck it right next to his own in his chest and promise to keep it going for as long as his. It's hard to focus on it when Eddie is unpicking all of his most carefully stitched wounds and laying his insides at Buck's feet just because he asked.

So, he forgets about it until Dr Salazar tells him he can go back to work.

"Unless there's anything else I should know," she says with a raised eyebrow when his silence lasts a little too long.

"I don't think it's anything, but..." Buck chews on his lips for a moment before rubbing an absent hand over his sternum. "Recently, I've been getting these... Flutters?"

It's a stupid word, makes him feel like a teenager discovering butterflies when their crush's hand brushes against theirs, but it's the only way he can describe the sensation. His heart doesn't race, it doesn't skip a beat or palpitate or clench—that's why it had been so easy to forget. It just... flutters. Two beats for the price of one before it falls back into it's normal rhythm as quickly as it had fallen out of it.

"Flutters," Dr Salazar repeats not unkindly. Buck nods, a light flush of embarrassment crawling across the bridge of his nose.

"I know how it sound and I really don't think it's anything to worry about, I just..."

"Better safe than sorry," she replies, examining something on her screen. "We've done so many tests, Buck. There's not a single anomaly in your heartbeat. You have one of the healthiest hearts I've ever seen considering that you just got struck by lightning." She shrugs slightly. "So, I think you're probably right about it being nothing. But I want you to grab a notebook from the store on your way home and just start jotting down whenever it happens. Date, rough time, where you are, what you're doing, anything that might be relevant. I'll schedule a follow-up appointment for a week from now, and we'll look at your findings together. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah, that's good actually." Buck takes a deep breath, rubbing his palms on his jeans. "Can I still go back to work or..."

"I don't see why not." She smiles at him gently, understanding. "But if you want to wait, that's more than okay. Always good to be cautious after something like this. And I'm grateful that you've told me about this, I know you might not have a few years ago." Buck knows that it's part of her job to read his medical history, to find out about blood clots and pulmonary embolisms, but it still makes him uneasy all the same, being known like this, for his worst moments. "If the flutters get worse, start feeling more dangerous than just flutters, do not hesitate to call me or check yourself into urgent care. And I know you're surrounded by people with extensive medical knowledge, so I recommend telling at least one of them. Especially a colleague if you are going back to work. Just so there's someone to look out for you in case it does get worse."

"Okay." Buck sighs, nods to himself. "Thanks, doc. See you in a week."

"See you in a week, Buck." Dr Salazar walks him to the door, grabbing a lollipop from the jar by the exit just before he goes. "For telling me." She winks as she presses it into his hand, and Buck snorts as he tears the plastic away and pops it into his mouth.

(keep reading on ao3)

@danielsousa @gracelcdomas @jamietarts @butchdiaz @shitouttabuck @buddstiel @organizedstardust @theoneandonlypigeon @anatargmova @alyxmastershipper @buckley-diaz-rules @blazeturbo102 @panbuckley @slowlyfoggydestiny @thatnamewill-probably-change @compactdiscmp3 @batgrldes @scattered-winter