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charmercharm3r · 2 years

Text

From the Beginning

LMH

Masterlist

wc: 6k

Requested

Synopsis: The timing was just never right. But why not take a leap of faith straight into your best friends arms? Or maybe, his bed?

Warnings: smut, sexual explicit content, besties to lovers, emotional infidelity, slightly angsty, oral (f receiving), just soft comfort minho

Another boring day, dragged on by unopened emails, overdue assignments, and the underwhelming relationship you’d forced yourself into. Coming home to him was the worst part of your evening, every evening. So much so that you made up excuses to stay out and avoid what felt like filler small talk with your own boyfriend. Dull and draining.

Your best friend did everything to encourage you to try and make your relationship work. He suggested date ideas, ways to spice things up, even invited you and your boyfriend out on a double date with him and his girlfriend. Minho was always the generous type. It annoyed the fuck out of you because he was always so sweet, so kind to you and always knew what you needed to hear. Perks of practically knowing each other since you left the womb.

But with the long time friendship, that made him unavailable to you, a line that should never be crossed because there’d be no going back. His companionship was just something you refused to give up, even if that meant having to watch him love someone else.

It was never in your blood to be jealous of his girlfriend. She was gorgeous, funny, absolutely deserving of Minho and all his hard-to-match personality. They were perfect together. With that fact, you hated yourself more than you could ever possibly envy her, only because you never took the chance when you had it.

Minho was single for so long, he denied girl after girl that threw themselves at him and you never knew why. At least, not until three months after you got with your current boyfriend. After you finally agreed to introduce him to Minho, the sparkle in his eye when he saw the two of you hand in hand died along with the hope of ever making you his.

It was bound to happen, you knew that. Minho wouldn’t wait for you forever, and you couldn’t wait for him to admit the feelings you knew he had for you. The timing was just always wrong. Neither of you could blame each other, but if anyone else knew how hard it was to confess your undying love, Minho took the gold, and you silver.

So here you were, coming home at half past ten after convincing Minho to stay with you at the library for a midterm that was still a month away. Judging by the lights being off in the living room and the bedroom door partially closed, your boyfriend was already in bed. You only hoped he was already asleep so you didn’t have to deal with another rapid fire round of questions.

Taking off your shoes and throwing your bag onto the couch, you made your way to the mini kitchenette for some water. The dinging of your phone made you jump in the quiet, echoing apartment. It was Minho on the other end.

Min: get home okay?

The text made you smile, much bigger than it should’ve been. Leaning against the counter, you read the message over and over.

“Y/N?” The sleep-ridden voice of your boyfriend called from the bedroom.

Without looking up from your phone, you rolled your eyes and replied back, “yeah, it’s me. I’ll be in in a second.” Your voice was unenthused. There was no response to your half hearted words.

Despite the lack of excitement in your tone, the smile never left your face as your fingers trembled to text back your best friend.

Y: yeah. thanks for staying with me :) I owe you, your heart leapt out of your chest upon hitting send. Before you even got a chance to open the fridge, your phone went off again.

Min: buy me lunch tomorrow?

You could never say no to Minho.

Y: anything for his highness

Min: keep calling me that and maybe i’ll help you out more often

His words shouldn’t have so much weight on your heart, but they did. After a few more exchanged texts, deciding on a place and time, you said your goodnight’s and put the phone away.

You took your time in the bathroom, moving as quietly as possible so as not to wake your sleeping boyfriend. Crawling in next to him at almost midnight, the bed felt cold. It felt empty when there was a whole body right next to you. Then again, that’s all he was. A body. A body you occasionally spoke to, occasionally kissed, occasionally fucked when the both of you needed it. After all, you were still human. Even then, there was always someone else on your mind while your boyfriend searched for the clit that was right in front of his face.

Yeah. Just a body, you both were.

Minho had walked you halfway to your boyfriend’s place when he decided to head back to his own. He couldn’t help you to the front door when he knew how badly you didn’t want to go in. All the late night studying, asking him to go to the most random of places at the most absurd times, Minho knew the reasoning for it. But he was a great friend, going along with all of your antics when there was someone he genuinely cared about waiting for him to come home.

When the librarian kicked you both out for the third time that week, Minho couldn’t walk you all the way to his apartment, no matter how badly he wanted to just drag you back to his own. He was happy, whenever he opened his front door and saw her waiting for him on the couch, passed out because she just couldn’t stay up, it made a smile fall across his face. He shouldn’t feel such a disdain towards your boyfriend for not loving you properly, his focus should be on his own relationship that he could tell his girlfriend was fighting tooth and nail to keep afloat. But there was always that voice in his head and in his heart that screamed at him to follow in your shadow, make sure the sun shined just for you. He shouldn’t feel that way when the girl in his bed wanted nothing more than to love him.

Yeah. She was in his bed, but you were on his mind.

The next afternoon came excruciatingly slow for you, having no morning class and having to be there when your boyfriend woke up. Usually, you’d be gone before he could stir. Unfortunately, not today. It wasn’t like he tried to make it work anymore, he stopped after realizing the same thing you did. But you still cared for him as a person, as a friend, afraid of being alone when he finally broke up with you. He’d long forgotten about the relationship before you did. You tried for months to make it work, catering to his every beck and call to make him see you were worthy of his attention, all for nothing. At least he had the decency to let you stay with him until you worked up enough money to move out and break up with him yourself.

Meeting up with Minho was always the highlight of your day, even if you spent big coin on his very expensive taste in food.

“Did he ask about where you were?” Minho asked as he took your plate and began cutting your chunk of meat into smaller bits. An involuntary twitch in your lips made them curl with endearment.

“No. He was asleep by the time I got back.” He could hear the sadness in your voice, it hurt his heart to know there was no one waiting up for you.

That one sentence made Minho think back to his own girlfriend, who always waited for him even if she couldn’t stay awake. Guilt was all he felt, but also anger. “Are you kidding? Did he leave the light on, at least?” The small shake of your head, no, made his chest bubble in annoyance.

When finished with making your food easier to consume, he placed the plate back in front of you and worked on his own. He went silent after that, unaware of the force he was putting behind the knife and scraping the bottom of the plate.

“What did that steak ever do to you?” You joked, a breathy chuckle leaving your lips in an attempt to distract yourself.

“It’s not what it did to. It’s what it didn’t.” There was a clear double meaning behind his words, but unacknowledged it went. Same old, same old.

You chose to ignore it. He chose to ignore it. A mutual feeling lingered in the air between you and Minho as you finished your meal. As much as you wanted to address the clear tension behind his handle on the water glass he brought gracefully to his lips, what good would it do? There was no point in admitting how much you envied his girlfriend, how you wished it was you he kissed with the lips that glistened as he set the glass down and stuck his tongue out to swipe away the remaining liquid. No point in telling him you hated yourself for not telling him how unconditionally in love you were with him when he already has someone to love just as much. A delicate line not to be crossed.

Minho suggested taking a walk, grabbing coffee so neither of you had to go back home. What he really wanted was to invite you back to his without worrying about his partner thinking there was something more besides friendship. He had to at least break it off first before he let you back into his home, his heart where you claimed permanent residency.

He bought you coffee, you bought him dessert. The walk itself was peaceful, probably would’ve been more if he hadn’t been plotting and planning every word he was going to say to his girlfriend when he finally had the courage to walk you to his doorstep.

Your words solidified his decision, he was going to end his relationship, even if you didn’t end yours. It didn’t feel right to him to be helplessly in love with another girl when there was one that slept on the couch until he came home.

Deep in his thoughts, Minho didn’t realize they slipped from his mind and out of his mouth. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

It wasn’t more than a whisper, but you were shoulder to shoulder, close enough to have heard his breathing if you really tried. Which is why he only noticed what he’d said when yours stopped momentarily.

Eyes wide, shocked, you looked up at him with a grip of steel on your coffee cup. “What?”

For a second, Minho debated on lying, telling you it wasn’t about what you thought it was. But he made the mistake of meeting your gaze and your eyes gave away what your lips would never dare to speak. They were full of hope, longing, and another emotion he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Or rather, refused to touch all together.

Stopping in his tracks, Minho stood up taller, straightened his shoulders and said with much more confidence, “he doesn’t deserve you.”

He’d told you that countless times already, you’d replayed those words in his voice on repeat like a broken record. A different tinge stung your heart like venom as he spoke them now, clouding your head in a haze that only made you see him. Everything faded away and Minho and his cat-like eyes, glossy lips, and stature that towered over you was the only thing that made you grow the courage to nod your head in agreement.

Tears started to well in your eyes at your own admittance, a step that you never could take without him. “I do deserve better.”

Minho followed your rapid nodding with his own, though much calmer. He was always the calm in your storm. Amidst your epiphany– crisis(?)– Minho reached for your hand and gently pulled you closer. Tossing his and your coffee cups, he reached a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, slowly letting his fingers trail down to cup your cheek. Though, it was as if he was holding back from letting himself indulge in the feeling of your skin. He’d known you for your entire lives and has felt you in the friendliest of ways– side hugs, catching you when you fell, pushing you and being the reason you fell– however now, he wanted nothing more than to feel every inch of you.

There was no more hesitation in his voice, conscience clear as the afternoon sky as he stopped himself from moving on you any further. “You deserve me.” A chill ran up your spine as he spoke the words you’d so desperately prayed to hear for months. You tried to blink away the tears that threatened to fall from your waterline, but miserably failed as a broken smile crept upon your lips. With an equally confused and ecstatic grin to match, Minho wipes the stray tear from your cheek, “why are you crying?”

All your emotions felt like a tidal wave hitting you at once, both brokenness and the dizzying whirlwind of being pieced back together presented in the form of Minho standing before you, pulling his jacket sleeves down to continue to wipe your flooding tears. “I’m hoping you’re saying what I’ve been dreaming about you saying for forever.”

“I am. I am, gorgeous,” he didn’t give you time to respond before pulling your head into his chest and allowing the fabric over his heart to soak up your remaining waterworks. Fingers carding through your hair and cheek resting on the top of your head, the two of you held onto each other for dear life.

Eventually, the tears stopped but you didn’t let go, he wouldn’t let you go when he finally had you in his arms. However, the same guilt that stopped him time after time from walking you to that god forsaken cave of an apartment your boyfriend allowed you to sleep in, it made him struggle to force you back just so he can make sure you were really standing before him and telling him everything he wanted to hear. “There’s something I– we need to do first.”

You nodded embarrassingly fast, sniffling and took his hand, holding it tightly. A second of doubt washed through you. Was he just saying this because you were sad, because he knew how miserable you were? Minho was selfless enough to do that, to him, your happiness always came first. Was this another act of friendship?

“A– are you sure? That you want this?”

“I’ve been sure for our entire lives,” he squeezed your hand in reassurance, not wanting to let go.

It didn’t take you another second to agree, letting him lead you back to your boyfriend’s apartment for the last time. Those dreaded steps, that cold building exterior Minho hated so much. The only warmth he could see anywhere in the vicinity was you, glowing and terrified. With a kiss to your forehead, he encouraged you. “You can do this. I’ll be right here when you’re done.”

There was no argument with your boyfriend, as though he already knew you were leaving him for good. Not so much as a, “why,” left his mouth as you packed what you could into a suitcase and briefly mentioned you’d send someone for the rest of your stuff. All he did was watch you flitter around the apartment and make whatever was left of you, disappear.

Minho informed you that he’d booked a hotel for the night while he allowed his soon-to-be ex girlfriend gather her things to move out, taking you there first. He told you he’d be back in an hour, two hours max to which he kept his word. He wasn’t a second later once the clock struck eight, stepping into the hotel room with an exasperated smile.

“Was she okay?” You asked, voice small and unsure.

His shoes were off in a second, padding over to the bed and flopping onto his side next to you. “As okay as anyone would be getting broken up with and evicted in the same night.” You showcased a sad smile, mostly because you understood her position. Without Minho, you’d be homeless, too.

Noticing, he brought his hand up to caress your cheek again, only now he could do it fully, let himself enjoy you and your warm skin. You let him, let yourself find comfort in the palm of his hand. The proximity was new, being so close in a brand new way, so foreign but something he’s wanted for so long. Now that he had you, he didn’t know what to do with himself. Minho could feel you all around him, engulfing his senses and driving him to the brink of insanity.

You didn’t realize you were leaning in closer to him, now able to feel his breath on your lips. Words couldn’t form in your head even if you tried as your eyes traversed all his facial features, everything you neglected to see just so you wouldn’t fall even more in love with him than you already were.

“It should’ve been me from the very beginning,” Minho mumbled, but you heard him crystal clear.

Bringing your hand to cup over his, you guided him down your neck and back towards the nape. Minho has always been a quick learner, pulling you impossibly closer until your lips just barely brushed. “It’s always been you. I wish I knew that sooner.”

Neither of you needed another word before he crashed into you, another wave hitting except that wave was Minho and all his love poured into a single kiss. He poured all the harbored feelings he kept at bay for years into the kiss while you struggled to regain the breath he always stole from your lungs. Though, he had no intention of giving it back. Not tonight, at least.

His lips were moving in calculated motions, smooth and unrushed because he’d daydreamed about this very moment for hours on end. Then he laid you further back into the bed so he towered over you, both hands now running up and down and all over the upper half of your body. You felt as if your lips weren’t on his that you’d fade away, you needed him. He just so happened to need you even more.

Your legs instinctively came up to wrap around his waist, tugging his entire body in closer with desire. Breathless and overly eager, Minho left as many kisses to the rest of your face the same as you had stained his jacket earlier with your tears, too many for either of you to count. Except now he was attaching himself to your neck, plump lips leaving burning marks in their wake as he made sure to cover the entire area. Every nip and suck he left to your skin made your stomach churn with lust, coiling tighter when the tip of his tongue trailed ever so lightly further down to your chest.

To get him moving quicker than a snail’s pace, you took his hands and placed them just underneath the hem of your shirt. Minho’s ears flushed red instantly and he prayed to god you would keep your eyes closed. Thankfully, the continuous pampering with his kisses was more than enough to distract you.

Your shirt was off in a matter of moments, followed by your pants while Minho remained fully clothed. In his head, he was too excited and needed to calm down. To you, you couldn’t get enough, he wasn’t giving you enough.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” the words barely managed to escape you as his hands wrapped around your back to unclasp your bra.

Minho stripped his shirt in a haste to make you feel a little less exposed. “Let me savor you,” he whispered and reattached his body to yours, equally out of breath. There was no stopping Minho and his mouth once he got you almost completely naked.

Trailing more pecks down the valley of your breasts, he found his lips wrapping around your nipple, sucking and biting light as a feather but enough to get you to arch deeper into him while giving the same attention to the other with his hand. When he’d had his fun there, Minho couldn’t keep his lips from your skin, tongue still leaving wet streaks down your stomach until he came to the hemline of your panties.

By the time he was face to face with your core, your hips were bucking in the air, pleading for friction, desperate and failing. Hands found their way under your thighs and gently pushed them towards your chest, Minho inhaling deeply as his nose barely brushed the growing wet spot on your panties. “Fucking god,” mewling as the tip of his tongue pressed into your clothed, soiled center. The heat from the wet muscle radiated through the fabric and you squirmed under his touch. Back arching into the mattress, Minho kept you pinned to the bed by your thighs, your own hands covering your chest and grasping at the sheets. Little did you know, he was grinding down into the bed as well, losing his mind at just the smell of your arousal and ruining his own underwear.

“Please,” the broken whisper of your voice sucker punched the wind from Minho’s lungs, how needy you sounded, all for him. It took everything in him not to rip the undergarment off your body, but instead clumsily slipping it below your knees before placing himself between your legs again and draping them over his shoulders. The unstretching seams of the underwear kept your thighs tight around his head, suffocating him with your body heat in all the best ways.

How intensely he eyed your pulsing cunt, you felt like you wanted to melt into the sheets just to get away from it. Clenching around nothing, waiting for any sort of relief all while hiding the redness on your cheeks from both embarrassment and arousal behind your hands, you subconsciously tucked your thighs tighter around Minho.

“Pretty thing,” a hand slithered up to reveal your shyness, intertwining his fingers with yours. “Don’t hide from me, now.” Bringing your hand down, Minho kissed your knuckles. No matter how sweet the gesture, it didn’t take away from how intimate he was now seated before you, pussy on full display for his judgement. You giggled from both anxiety and butterflies.

“Will you let me make you feel good?”

The bar was so, incredibly low— you swooning over the fact that even though he was between your legs with nothing stopping him, he still asked for consent.

Pathetically fast did you nod, giving Minho the green light to dive into you. Oh boy, did he speed through the intersection, immediately wrapping his lips fully around your clit and sucking, tongue lightly toying with it as you arched into the bed at the sensation. Plump lips moist with slick glistened pink, only obscene slurping and wet noises filling the room besides your borderline pornographic moans. He’d hardly even circled your entrance with his tongue before you were reaching into his hair with your free hand, squeezing the other tightly. If he didn’t rub soothing circles to the top of your knuckles, you could swear you were floating.

With every nip and lick, more shocks of what could’ve been electricity shot through your spine and made you grind harder into him. But oh how Minho felt like he was on cloud nine, trapped and unable to move from the vice grip your thighs had around his head— not that he’d ever want to detach himself from you now that he’s had a taste.

You were growing more and more desperate to come, to feel him, practically wanting to mold his body into your own because it didn’t feel like he could be close enough. Minho let you use him, steadying himself by holding your hand tighter as your hips bucked and rutted against his face. Occasionally, his nose could bump your clit and make you mewl even louder as his tongue dipped and swirled into your hole. He could feel the crescent marks you were leaving into his hand, but the small bit of pain was nothing in comparison to how your calling of his name made him feel.

And when you pulled your tangled hands to your chest and forced him to grab your breast, Minho almost came in his pants at your lewd noises. His lips suctioned against your clit again and you were sent soaring over the edge and into your high, thighs clamping around Minho’s head and keeping his nose to your pelvis as he continued to gently suckle you through your orgasm. How softly he treated you as you rode through it, like glass that needed to be handled with care. If he passed away now, he could die a happy man knowing it was by suffocation between your thighs.

It took a few silent moments for you to catch your breath, releasing him from between your legs. Kissing his way up your torso, featherlight and fragile, Minho discarded the panties somehow still— laughably— dangling from your ankle and tossed it with his clothes to keep for later.

Coming up again, Minho cupped your cheeks and peppered your face with kisses, eyes heavy and body tiredly succumbing to his pampering. But the more he left burning trails of his lips, the more you wanted him again, closer. Goosebumps rose along his skin when you pulled him face to face by the nape of his neck, eyes locked on his bruised and kiss-bitten lips. The slight shine of the moonlight through the hotel window made him look all the more sultry, large brown eyes turned borderline black with lust.

Even through your exhausted state, you managed to find the energy to kiss him again, slow and steady but growing heavier by the second.

He tried not to show how needy he was, how desperate for your touch and warmth as Minho kept an iron grip on your hips. Holding back, he fought the urge to grind his still-clothed dick into you. Though, further plans sounded much more appealing. The desire grew with every panting kiss, every bruising squeeze of his hands on you.

Wrapping your legs around his torso, you pressed into his crotch with your soiled cunt, spreading the lingering arousal across his tight jeans. A deep, guttural groan rumbled against your lips from Minho, only egging you on. It was like the single roll of your hips knocked the wind from his chest and made Minho almost pliable, falling easily onto his back when you nudged him to straddle.

Sitting atop him, Minho let out a heavy sigh as his eyes raked over your body, mesmerized. He ran his hands from your torso to your thighs with the lightest touch, scared that you would break if he was too rough.

“No idea how long I’ve waited for you.” His eyes looked anywhere but at your own, words spoken in almost a trance-like state.

“All yours,” you whispered back, leaning over to kiss him while blindly fumbling with the button of his jeans. The kiss was messier now that you were multitasking, but also somehow hotter. He was still in control even though you were on top. Slipping his tongue into your mouth, you could taste yourself, pressing into one another even deeper when you moaned.

The second you were able to free him from his confines, Minho sighed in relief. Even with the minor teeth clashes, the awkward movements of trying to get his pants off and the rustling of the foil condom wrapper, none of those tensions lingered for long. In fact, it made his heart feel heavier, endearing because it reminded him this moment wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t perfect, but human and you.

Feeling your body weight on him, Minho had half the mind to flip you both back over after putting on the rubber. But it was just so hot to watch you praise him with your eyes, unable to look anywhere except between his heavily breathing chest and plump lips. Finger nails raked down the plane of his abs as you took in a deep breath, lowering your still sopping core onto his.

Another sigh of relief left your lips, however a restrained groan threatened to leave his. He was still holding back, not wanting to take away your moment. Soaked with slick, his cock was hot against your cunt and only urged you to move. Leaving crescent marks into his skin, you bit your lip back and lazily began grinding against him, taunting, teasing. Minho’s own grip on your legs grew tighter the longer and harder you rubbed your clit into his cock.

A particularly loud groan and the tossing of his head back into the pillows made you come to a full stop, forcing yourself to heave off him and press a deep kiss to his lips. All the while, you swiftly took his cock in hand and stood it up, rubbing just the tip across your entrance and bundle of nerves. You swallowed every single one of his whines as you played with yourself just a bit longer. The feeling of his teeth pulling at your bottom lip was enough to get you to give in.

Finally, after what felt like years of teasing and edging each other’s feelings, you slowly sank down on his cock, taking your time and truly feeling every ridge and vein. His vice grip on your thighs came up, clawing at your skin as he wrapped his arms around your torso. Minho sat up, forehead falling in the valley of your breasts as he attempted to control his breathing. You, trying to be as calm as he was, pulled him closer by draping your arms over his shoulders and carding your fingers through his hair. He bit lightly into your chest and breast, muffling any other pleasured sounds he made as you sat fully with him sheathed inside.

Content was all you felt. Content and full. He’d been in you all but thirty seconds and it was more intimate than any time you’d had sex with your ex boyfriend. The way his breathing was ragged and his stomach tensed, to how he rubbed his forehead against your skin because his entire body was buzzing, it was how you’d only every dreamed of sex feeling. With Minho, it became reality.

Your walls involuntarily clenched around him, so hard and strong that you could hardly find it in you to begin moving. Every muscle in your body tensed at the pleasure of your clit against his warm skin and thick cock snuggled inside you. The thought of not moving at all and just staying like this had definitely crossed your mind. But fuck, every convulsion of your cunt had Minho crushing your body against his, bucking up occasionally and making you cry out as well.

“Have mercy,” Minho mumbled into your skin.

A small giggle left your lips, experimentally rolling your hips at his wish. The whimper that sounded from him gave you a boost of confidence to do it again, and again, and again. The speed at which you rode him increased with every moan, every nibble of his teeth, every scratch to your lower back and ass that he left. But it was getting harder to maintain the rhythm, your legs beginning to burn as you continued to please one another.

He looked up to meet your eyes, “need help, beautiful?”

A small whimper left your lips as an answer, Minho immediately taking hold of your legs and flipping you onto your back again. He did it so easily, feeling small underneath his frame that now crowded over you. His cock was still fit inside, being squeezed every few seconds by your throbbing pussy. It was the way he looked down at you, like he wanted to devour you whole, much different to how he looked when it was him below you. That same expression, confident but dark, made you almost cower back into the sheets. You felt embarrassed, for some reason, every move you made felt judged by him because of this new allure that radiated from his body.

The masochistic caregiver he is, he cracked a feigned smile, “oh, pretty girl. You’re glowing. Do I make you that nervous?” Your voice caught in your throat, put on the spot. All you could muster up was a short nod. But he wasn’t satisfied, leaning over you and cupping your cheek. “Use your words.”

“Y– yes.” The smirk on his face grew devious. His breath fanned your cheeks, adding to the heat that spread through your skin. Another involuntary clench of your cunt made Minho’s eyes flutter closed.

The burning in your gut was still aching, still wanting more. No matter how comfortable it was just to have him near, that unadulterated feeling began to override your senses. You tried to wrap your legs around his torso tighter, encouraging him to move. However Minho has always been stubborn, “tell me what you want.”

Bringing a hand up to thumb his cheek, his devilish expression faltered for just a moment to lean into your palm. “Fuck me the way I know you want to.”

Minho bared his teeth slightly in a loving smile, letting out a short chuckle before turning to kiss your palm. He took the hand on his face and forced you to wrap your arm around his neck again.

Craning into the crook of your shoulder, he pressed chaste kisses to your skin and pulled out slowly, only to shove himself in again. The filling and emptying sensation made your mind dizzy, unable to focus on anything except for Minho and his stifled grunts. His thrusts were short, but powerful, still not nearly enough to make either of you climax anytime soon. It seemed as though that was his intention, staying true to his word about wanting to savor you. Each gentle pull paired with each rough push past your entrance came with an unspoken thought– this one is for making me wait so long, a second one for being okay with kissing someone else, another for being so oblivious, for the time we’ve wasted, and for how hard I’m going to love you.

It was intense, raw, fiery in all the best ways. Your nails leaving red marks down his back erupted an almost animalistic moan from Minho, increasing his speed ever so slightly. His hand made its way towards your clit again. His urges were clearly getting the better of him, thrusts with purpose turning needy and desperate. Then his other hand came to lift your leg slightly, giving him enough access to rut into you. The figure eights he rubbed into your nerves were pushing you closer to your second high with every passing second, Minho biting onto your shoulder was just the icing on the cake.

“C– cum,” you whimpered, hoping he understood.

“Go ahead, pretty girl. Show me how good I make you feel.” With his permission, you allowed for your orgasm to take over your body, vision clouded white and body on blissful, sinful fire. Eyes shut and unaware of how tightly you’re holding onto him, Minho grumbled a few unintelligible words and stilled completely. He folded at the feeling of your walls hugging him, pulling him in deeper until he was able to reach his high as well. It was a long building wave that crashed over the both of you in a matter of moments, but the aftershocks lasted what felt like hours.

It was just the two of you, body parts tangled and unmoving as you both tried to catch your breaths. Minho allowed for his body to relax on top of you, his head against your chest just listening to your heartbeat. His eyes were closed as you lightly played with his hair, pressing the occasional kiss to the top of his head. This sort of aftercare was something you weren’t used to, your own personal blanket of comfort filling the room as Minho drowned himself in your scent. And it was the best, warmest sleep you’d had in years.

A/N: god this took me so long I'm so sorry to the person that requested!! but still very enjoyable to write :3

I really like doing requests so send me some if you liked this lil piece hehehe

-momo < 3

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themculibrary · 1 month

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Summary: Cindy: Alright, so I know this might sound crazy, but it's really not that far-fetched. You know how Peter just disappears for no good reason? And how he's always making up some bad excuse to make sense of those disappearances? And how he's always coming into school late, usually sporting some black eye or bruise covered up with really bad makeup? And, guys - the Stark internship. Look me in the eye and tell me that's not sus.

Cindy: Guys?

Cindy: I know you're ignoring me. It won't work. I will literally annoy you into submission if you don't answer me within the next five seconds.

Cindy: Okay, seriously. You've got five seconds to answer, or I promise you won't sleep for the next ten days. I'll make sure of it. _

The trials and tribulations of One Cindy Moon and Her Idiotic Friends as she attempts to convince them that Peter Parker is, in fact, Spider-Man. As told from Cindy's iPhone (mostly) and abetted by the (occasional) help of third-person.

Don't do anything stupid. (ao3) - Spicysauce T, 5k

Summary: “You think I should do something?” Peter whispered, staring at the door.

Ned's grip on Peter's arms tightened, as if he was scared the teen might run off at any moment, “Are you crazy? You can’t just - just, no - “

“But you’re right, someone could have a gun. I can’t just do nothing!”

“Parker, I swear to god,” Michelle spat, “Don’t you even think about doing something stupid.”

Or: After failing to sign the Accords, Thaddeus Ross and a group of guards storm Midtown in search for Spider-Man. But Peter would rather not live out the rest of his days in the raft, so figures his best chance is to stall until Mr Stark gets here. He will know what to do

Do Spiders Even Like Coffee? (ao3) - Ace_Of_Spades7 G, 2k

Summary: “I have a large caramel macchiato for, uhh,” the barista, Emily, called, unsure of how to proceed. The name on the cup was written with perfect penmanship, unable to be mistaken. And yet, there was no way. “Spider-Man?”

Peter uses "Spider-Man" as his Starbucks name and things get a bit out of hand

How Not To Keep Secrets (ao3) - whydontyoucomeonover T, 10k

Summary: Occam’s razor is the problem-solving principle that suggests that the simplest explanation is usually the best one. Suzan Yang had used this idea when putting together the pieces of the mystery of Peter Parker and arrived at the obvious conclusion. He must be a male escort.

When Betty Brandt told the acadec team this theory, at first, they laughed. Stopped for a moment of consideration and collectively looked out the window. Peter was running down Midtown’s stairs to an Audi R8, with his top few shirt buttons undone and designer sunglasses across his face. They watched a large guy in a suit step out the car and attempt to tame Parker’s curly mop before pushing him in the backseats. A moment of silence lasted as the car drove away before the entire academic decathlon team dragged in a breath and realised, “huh. This explains everything.”

i'd start a riot (ao3) - multiworlds111 G, 5k

Summary: If it’ll make Flash go away, there’s no harm in taking a stupid selfie with him. He needs to head back to his apartment in about an hour, and there’s no telling what he’ll be dealing with in that hour. He doesn’t want Tony or May breathing down his neck about missing curfew. The sooner Flash left, the better. Peter nods in agreement, and Flash grabs his phone from his pocket. He wraps an arm around Peter’s shoulder, aims the camera at the two of them, and grins. Peter grits his teeth, thinking of how Flash had shoved him last week and called him a waste of space. It really doesn’t bother him, coming from Flash, but he still doesn’t love making his bully’s dreams come true.

Especially not when Flash grabs the back of his mask and yanks it off of his head.

OR: After Spiderman saves Flash from a robbery, he pulls off the mask. Peter turns to Tony for help.

I Hate Mondays (ao3) - Odd_I G, 5k

Summary: It was a Monday. And Mondays were the worst. That was just a known fact.

However, Mondays were especially the worst for teenage superheroes who just so happened to have spent the weekend fighting off the villain of the week. God seriously, people needed to start getting a life. This time it had been a bit more than he could handle if he was being honest. The guy was just a normal human guy but had somehow gotten his hands on alien tech.

— OR —

Peter's really just trying to get through Monday, but it seemed like Flash had no intention of letting that happen.

in this moment; we are infinite (ao3) - merikai tony/stephen T, 10k

Summary: Clint feels a chill run through him. Sixteen. A high school student, not even in college. Probably the same age as Cap was when he enlisted.

His eyes feel wide as plates, his hands just slightly borderline clammy, and he squints even more at the photos popping on the screen. The room has gone dead silent, and he watches as photos of Spider-Man holding back trains and saving people from street fights and pulling cats out of trees is shown. Spider-Man.

Ah. Ah. Clint audibly lets out an oh.

Peter's identity is revealed—and people he'd never expect come to his aid.

Itsy Bitsy Spider (ao3) - MellarkandArt T, 5k

Summary:“What,” Tony’s voice broke and he coughed to clear his throat. “What are you- no, wait, maybe first just, who are you?”

There was a long and awkward pause before Tony received a response from the lunatic stuck to the building. “I’m- I’m Spider-Man.”

after Civil War, Tony aims to distract himself from the trauma by focusing on developing his nano tech, and somehow gets caught into a spider's web along the way.

Oh, snap. (ao3) - OoBooksAreLifeoO N/R, 7k

Summary: The Midtown Decathlon team are curious about Peter's odd behaviour after the blip, so they do some digging. What will they do when they discover his secret?

Pieces of the Puzzle (ao3) - sabertoothhousecat G, 6k

Summary: The entire Decathlon team figures out Peter’s identity. He has no idea.

Or: The Decathlon team takes Peter’s Secret and names it Our Secret

Or: Peter is a dumbass in a school full of geniuses

Seeing Double (ao3) - inkinmyheartandonthepage G, 2k

Summary: Peter forgets to keeps his own identity a secret and reveals it in the most Peter Parker way.

The Tale of Flash Thompson (so3) - sinkinnie mj/peter T, 4k

Summary: Flash Thompson hates Peter Parker, and he absolutely loves Spider-Man.

But Flash Thompson has morals.

So, when he saw Spider-Man steal a kiss from Parker’s girlfriend MJ in an alley, swinging away while she looked around with a blush on her face to make sure no one saw them, he felt weirdly honour-bound to tell his nerd of a classmate what he saw, even though it would mean betraying his ultimate idol. Who may or may not be a cheater.

the web of our life (is of a mingled yarn) (ao3) - lemonlillybee G, 8k

Summary: Michelle Jones is a people person. More specifically, she loves to people watch. Sometimes, she types out lists in her Notes app about people she encounters– not that she’s obsessed with people, or anything. She’s just observant.

One night, Spider-Man lands on her fire escape and she gives him a scarf she knitted. After their interaction, she starts a note on her phone about him, too, and she’s starting to notice some pretty interesting things about the superhero who may or may not go to the same high school as her.

the wind; the leaves (ao3) - Hale13 mj/peter T, 4k

Summary: “Not this again,” Peter groaned as he blinked sore eyes open and rolled his aching head up to survey the room dizzily. The cold metal chair he was seated in was bolted to the floor and his arms were restrained in, what had to be, vibranium behind him. Unlike the first time he had been kidnapped, Peter felt only annoyance with the whole situation even though he was wearing his Spidey suit with the mask torn to show a chunk of his forehead and hair. He tugged ineffectively on the cuffs and tried to pull the chair off the ground before giving up and letting his head dangle forward to rest his chin on his chest.

Tribute (ao3) - ForEdwall G, 1k

Summary: Peter and the Academic Decathlon team are watching a Spider-Man tribute video, and Morgan Stark interrupts

who needs gym class anyway? (ao3) - DiveInsideMyMind G, 1k

Summary: It was just one backflip. One little backflip. Followed by- maybe- followed by sticking to the ceiling. It's all Flash's fault.

Peter Parker's identity gets revealed in the most Peter Parker way.

worthy is the spider-man that lifts the hammer (ao3) - Singing_Siren T, 3k

Summary: “No, it’s okay, Tony,” Peter says. He unzips his backpack and stuffs Thor’s hammer into it. It stretches a bit but holds. “I’ll drop it off at the tower after school. I can’t just leave it where anyone can take it, that would be irresponsible.”

“Um, kid? Did you pick it up?”

“Yeah, why?” Peter shrugs his backpack onto one shoulder and starts kicking dirt into the hole that the hammer made from the impact of Thor’s throw.

“No reason,” Mr. Stark sounds strangled.

You Know What They Say (ao3) - patrochilles_trash T, 5k

Summary: The moment Mr. Harrington stepped further into the classroom, revealing the figure standing behind him, Peter was pretty sure that he had stepped into an alternate reality. That, or someone was playing a nasty joke on him.

The person standing directly behind his teacher, waving cheerfully at the decathlon team, was dressed in a replica of the second gen Spiderman suit. It was about as close as one could get from referencing pictures and videos, and they guy was a similar enough build that Peter could see how people would be fooled.

A frightening thought struck him that he might be fooled too if he wasn’t actually Spiderman.

Harrington does his best, but Peter really isn't a fan of impersonators.

#themculibrary #masterlists #marvel #mcu #spiderman #peter parker #identity reveal #identity reveal masterlist #secret identity

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sitp-recs · 1 year

Note

omg hi if you're doing kinky reclists how about one for accidental stimulation/arousal? or overstimulation?? or both?! (thank u love u!)

Good food anon, good food 🥘 I went for a mix of accidental arousal & overstimulation here, hope that’s okay!

More by @shealwaysreads (957 words)

He’d keep Draco like this for as long as it took.

just once more by @softlystarstruck (micro)

content: established relationship, trans man draco, multiple orgasms, blindfolds, light bondage, subspace, tender aftercare

Heliophile by @vukovich (1.1k)

Actirasty: Sexual arousal caused by sun exposure.

Under Your Skin by p1013 (4k)

He initials another section and flips the page. Being a junior Auror is a lot more grunt work than he expected, and the paperwork isn't even the worst of it. He's also managed to catch intake duty.

Lucid by @dracoladon (4.4k)

Harry's not sure what makes him harder; listening to Draco talk about astronomy, or shagging Draco so thoroughly that he can't talk at all. Both, probably.

Quietly, As Requested by @shiftylinguini (4.5k)

Perhaps inviting Draco to Sunday Bad Movie night at Ron’s wasn’t that smart an idea after all.

A Howling Good Time by FleetofShippyShips (6k)

They’d talked about this, and Draco had agreed that he would try it for Harry, once Harry had convinced him he was utterly serious and not fucking with him.

heavy by @onbeinganangel (6.6k)

Potter isn’t nearly as slick as he thinks he is, is all Draco can think about through the alcohol haze and the dizzying atmosphere of the club. He really, really isn’t.

Like This and Like This (Dreams of Lace) by @primavera-cerezos (6.6k)

Harry gets an accidental peek. He can’t think of anything else.

I'm lying when I'm looking away by InnerLilith (6.7k)

Sometimes it takes a Purim party and a flapper dress for Harry to figure out what he likes. (Spoiler: He likes Malfoy.)

Interpersonal Relationships Year 7, Unit 3: How to Have Sex Like a Responsible Adult by InnerLilith (7k)

Harry came to Hogwarts to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. He did not come to Hogwarts to obsess over Draco Malfoy. He definitely did not come to Hogwarts to channel that obsession into…supervising Draco’s sex education class?

Ten Thousand Reasons Why Not by @lqtraintracks (8.4K)

Harry and Draco are stand-ins for the usual witch who gives the workplace harassment and sexual consent talk to the Auror trainees. Or, a little tale in which Harry consents to be sexually harassed by Draco Malfoy.

Sensations by manixzen (9k)

“How many times do you think you can come, Harry? How many times until you come dry? Until you’ve got nothing left? I think we’re going to get you to five today, pet.”

Stamina Spells Pleasure by lettered (10k)

porn

Aural Gratification by birdsofshore (11k)

Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot.

Ardour of Karma by XxTheDarkLordxX (17k)

“Malfoy knows something is going on with you and unless you both want to go back to fighting and death glares, you should fix it.”

just tell me when it’s alright by M0stlyVoid (23k)

Harry’s been fighting tooth and nail for any bit of normalcy he can get his hands on. He’s sick of feeling like something’s wrong with him, tired of feeling different. He thinks he’s finally gotten to the root of it, and has settled into a routine that makes him happy.

Inside Your Mind by @lazywonderlvnd (36k)

Goyle's taken it upon himself to act as Malfoy's personal, one-man guard and Harry can't help but feel like it's only making the bullying worse.

Christmas Is For Sex (and Love), So Give It To Me by GoldenTruth813 (53k)

Draco buys Harry an Advent House, intent on helping Harry create all new holiday memories, and have a lot of great sex in the process.

The Destiny You Sold by tryslora (58k)

In which Draco knits, Harry makes wands, and things get very tangled up between them.

He Comes Like a Thunderstorm by @korlaena (140k)

Draco is doing his best to balance the life he wants to live and the life he’s forced to live. He’s nearing the tail-end of a long, post-war probation when Harry Potter crashes back into his life with all the grace of a charging Erumpent, breaking through his carefully constructed rules and routine.

#asks #anon #kinkuary 2023 #overstimulation #accidental arousal

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doonarose · 2 months

Text

Hello fam,

Here's some TMI that I've spent the entire day spiraling over on the reddit chat but may as well therapize myself here too. Wait is therapize a real word... I did not know that.

Anyway - teaching week from absolute hell. Hours and hours and hours of on my feet labs and workshops. And then getting myself in a position where I had to mark prac write ups - 88 of them - in about 48 hours. Reckon it took me about 16 hours and it's mind numbing exasperating work because this is their first one - a quarter of them failed, some of them wrote the most incoherent bullshit...

That means my brain has been frazzled and fried since sometime Tuesday and by some oversight I neglected to put in my calendar that my parents were dropping their dog off at my house today to mind for a week. Probably because it's no big deal and not something I really need in my calendar.

Except I completely forgot. 100% out of my brain, gone, no idea it was happening until I got a text at 10.30 saying the dog had been dropped off and they were on their way to their airbnb where they've got a few nights away or whatever.

Now, worth noting, they did need to go into the house to drop the dog off, because this is the dog that, famously, escaped this same house a bit over a year ago, got smacked by a truck, was 50/50 on surviving for a long while, and cost them $6k to fix... so yeah, of course let yourselves in, dump the dog and lock the doggy door.

So a few things to know:

I live in a messy house at the best of times. Dishes in the sink, last night's plates still on the table, a bag of used tissues next to me on the couch, socks on the floor, etc. Like it's not gross rotting food or anything, but it's not the standard I like to show my parents (or anyone else). So that's a bit embarrassing.

Last night, because I pulled a 12 hour day of admin and prac marking, I fell into the too-often-fallen-into habit of having a decent slosh of vodka over ice with soda as soon as I got home at 8pm to turn my brain off so I could sleep before midnight. I left the half empty bottle of vodka on the table in the living room.

Also when I got home last night I took my bra off in the living room and left it draped across a chair.

Also, in a particularly lazy moment, I had left the eski full of water from almost two weeks ago sitting in the same spot in my kitchen which, yeah, okay, gross of me, but I intended to clean it up before anyone fucking saw it.

And you're probably reading this and thinking that it really isn't that bad so here's the real main source of mortification. Because I live alone and because no one would ever just drop in and because I've been busy and lazy and whatever. I also left my bright magenta sex toy besides the bathroom sink this morning. Where it had been since the morning before. Because that's a fine, logical place to leave it. And when I got the text I immediately remembered that because I saw it this morning when I was getting ready to go into work at 7.30 for an 8am zoom to the US, and kind of vaguely thought 'I should put that away' and then didn't. And didn't close the door to the bathroom because i only do that on hot days and it's been mild, finally, the last few days. And then when I got that text I tried to convince myself that my parents would have no reason to go into my bathroom, even though they would have obviously gone in the house and seen the above bad shit. And then I tried to convince myself that even if they had seen it, we would never speak of it and I would never know.

Anyway, I got home a half hour ago and my toilet door is fully closed, it's next to the bathroom door that remained fully open, magenta fucking rabbit in full view. I never, ever fully close the toilet door because it jams.

So anyway... may never wank again. Will, at some point, report on how I handle my face and soul next time I have to speak/see my parents.

If I die tonight, my COD will be mortification.

#doonas rambling #tmi sorry #sex toys for tw #i am drinking a lot tonight #and then probably forcing myself to have a wank and recover from this #also i have just not remembered that the entire reason the toy was out was from the other morning when i had legit #the worst most unsatisfying wank of my life #like honestly would have preferred to watch tiktok instead #or just an extra bit of sleep #it was so shit #because exhausted and in the morning so time pressure #anyway sorry dash #good bye some of you i understand why you need to leave

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cupoftaae · 1 year

Text

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ heartbeat (chapter 12)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 6k

chapter warnings- smut lol, cockwarming, swearing, pregnancy talk, some angst, fluffy fluff, I think thats all?

a/n- Hey babes, I hope you like this chapter, and again Im sorry for absolutely SLACKING with the request drabbles, Ive had a bit of writers block and it took me a while to even finish this chapter, so just bear with me a lil- I love you so much! mwuah! sorry for any typos

-nini

---

"hey little lady, you single?"

You rolled your eyes as you walked back out to the car from your apartment, "sorry im taken" you giggled at your boyfriend as he winked.

"what time is the appointment?" Taehyung mumbled as he checked the gps

"uh," you checked your phone, "12, so we have 15 mins to get there"

"hm" he smiled and began to drive once you were in and buckled. "I am really excited, actually"

"I am too, just a little nervous as well"

"how come?"

"it just feels all so real, especially after denying it for so long"

He carefully reached over and grasped your hand in his, voice low, "Y/N, remember what we talked about, it will all be ok, I just want you to enjoy this with me, its okay to let go and enjoy things"

"I know"you sigh softly, looking at the other cars on the road.

Once the two of you had actually arrived there, he quickly got out and went around to the side of the car, opening the door for you. "Thank you honey" you mumble, suddenly wishing you had not worn a sweater in the may heat.

He smiled and closed the car, locking it before taking your hand and walking in with you. He loved it so much, the idea of being here with you, being a father.

He had no idea how he went from trying to compete with kaito, to all of a sudden getting to have a child with you. Its crazy how life turns out, but he wouldnt trade it for anything, and the cute glances he gets from other people in the waiting room when you walk in only makes himself more prideful.

"Hello" you quietly speak, walking up to the front desk as taehyung stands behind you, hands on your hips. "appointment for Y/L/N, Y/F/N,?"

The lady working quickly types into the computer before smiling, "yup! Doctor Goe will be out to call for you in a few moments, please take a seat and fill these out" she hands you 2 clipboards with multiple questions written on them, along with a pen.

Taehyung leads you to a quiet seated space away from the other, older couples as you look over the paper work. "this is so awkward"

"why?" he smiled, peaking over your shoulder to see whats on there.

"its asking me if im sexually active, no shit" you whisper, making him laugh and immediately cover his mouth.

"shh" you giggle

"well maybe its like a virgin Mary type thing" he spoke, making you try not to laugh loudly. "you should check off no"

"stop, I cant, I have to be truthful" you begin to fill in the questions for a few moments, giggling and joking with tae before a nurse walked in and called for your name.

You followed her, bringing taehyung in behind you.

"Hello, Ms. Y/L/N, Doctor Goe will see you soon, but I just want to grab your vitals quickly, hop on the scale for me!"

You pouted a bit, handing your purse to tae as he leaned against a wall to give you privacy.

"ok...dont tell me the weight please" you whispered, the nurse nodding apologetically as you stood onto the scale.

"perfect, now lets go into the room so I can check you blood pressure and temp"

You and taehyung both sat as she did so, exchanging soft and silly glances once in a while. "okay, your doctor will be in momentarily"

You nod as she leaves, handing you a paper gown to put on.

"i hate these"

"its pink though!"

You giggle, "turn around"

"why?" taehyung pouted

"because I have to change!!"

"i have seen you naked before, you know that"

"thats different, corner. now."

He huffed and turned to look at the wall until you told him he could turn around.

"is it sexy or what?"

He smirked and folded your previous outfit into a pile on the chair, "you always look sexy"

"whatever" you sat up onto the bench when you heard your doctor walk in.

"hello Y/N, how are you?" she cheerfully spoke, setting her stuff down and looking over her charts.

"im good" you grew a bit nervous.

"who is this you brought with you?" she gestured to taehyung before opening her laptop.

"oh thats my boyfriend, taehyung" you smiled softly at him, his cute face blushing as he greeted her.

"Nice to meet you, and congratulations on your pregnancy, when you called me to set up an appointment I was so surprised"

"yeah, us too" you nodded, smiling.

"so today our goal is to get some labs done, do a little bloodwork, and then we will get you an ultrasound" she smirked, knowing that most parents are always excited to see their baby for the first time.

"sounds good to me"

She begins asking questions about your symptoms, before ordering a blood draw and urine test, which taehyung found funny for some reason.

"I really didnt have to go" you spoke afterwards, getting dressed again.

"so what did you do?" he snickered

"I had to concentrate and I didnt even fill the cup" you shrugged, throwing your sweater on before walking into the hall with him to head towards the ultrasound room.

Once you laid onto the bed, you began to feel excitement for the first time in a while, the nurse putting some cold gel onto your stomach, making you giggle a little as taehyung sat and held your hand tightly.

"so this is your first ever ultrasound?" the technician asked, smiling

"well no, ive had one before when I had a cyst or something, but this is my first pregnancy ultrasound, so obviously its under a bit better circumstances" you laugh, making tae kiss your knuckles softly.

She nodded, grabbing the probe and gently running it over your tummy as she watched the screen light up, "okay, okay" she smiled, waiting a moment to find what she wanted.

Taehyung kept his eyes down on you, hand holding yours as he felt his heart pickup with excitement, this really did solidify the situation.

The nurse offers a sweet smile, getting up to turn the screen towards the two of you, "are you ready to see baby?"

You feel your chest tighten a bit, but you nod and exchange a glance with taehyung, his expression matching yours: happiness and nervousness.

Once the screen was lit, you could have sword the world had stopped just for you.

There it was, the tiny little blob that was ever so slightly moving around. It was impossible not to tear up, especially for taehyung.

"oh..." he whispered, eyes stuck to the monitor as if he was in a trance, "thats our baby?"

"mhm" you finally look back at him to see small streaks of tears "Thats ours" you take a breath before the nurse spoke up

"want to hear the heartbeat?"

"yes! yes please!" he happily cut in, wiping his eyes and returning to squeeze your hand.

She nodded, turning the machine on so both of you heard a small but quick thump...thump...thump..

You closed your eyes blissfully, knowing that the babies presence was made, it was heard and it was there for everyone to see.

"princess..." taehyung pressed his forehead to yours, kissing the side of your face, "that is incredible"

"I know, baby" you smiled brightly as the nurse jotted some stuff down

"so the baby looks healthy, growing perfect, placement is good, and it looks about 2 months along, almost 3...so you are in the first trimester"

You nod as she begins to help wipe off the gel, sitting up a little.

"first trimester symptoms often occur as morning sickness, which doesnt mean just morning, it can be any time" she giggles softly as she reads her papers, "you may also have mood swings, sore breasts, food sensitivity, and fatigue"

"damn" you mumble, looking at tae as he listens to her, mentally jotting down everything she says.

"and have you been taking any prenatal vitamins? any medications?"

You shake yours head, "no I just found out I was pregnant this month"

"okay" she writes something down, "here is a list of recommended vitamins that I would get started on, good for baby and good for mom" she nods, "you guys can get situated and I am gonna grab the sonograms for you, how many would you like?"

You look at tae, "maybe 4? one for both of us, and the others for our families"

He nods "perfect, we will have just 4" he clarifies to the woman, as she goes to process them for you.

Taehyung moved your sweater to cover your stomach, helping you sit up before bringing you into a soft hug. "I love you....thank you"

You giggled quietly, hugging him back, "I love you too, but thanking me for what?"

"for this" he mumbled, pulling away to see your face, "going through this just for our baby, youre so strong"

You smiled gently, "not really anything has happened yet, the fun experience is when I start getting a giant ass stomach and swollen feet" you sarcastically spoke

"hey maybe you can get to use those mobility scooters in the grocery store now" he teased

You burst out laughing, shaking your head, "no!...im not doing that, I dont care if im on the verge of popping, I will be walking to the isles on feet"

He giggled and helped you stand to your feet now, "but for real...Im really excited about this" he looked at your intertwined fingers, "please let me know if you need anything, im here to support you, I dont care what the time or place is"

"taehyung youve already been so supportive, you are doing good, I promise" you kiss his knuckles

"well, thank you, but-"

"okay here you guys go, congratulations again!" the nurse spoke with a wide grin as she entered, handing us the 4 photos of the little baby.

"thank you so much, you've been so kind" you chirp, smiling at the pictures

"of course honey, and remember to check out the vitamins" she added as you agreed, walking out of the hall and back to the waiting room.

"went really well, huh?" you giggle, pushing the door open and walking into the parking lot with taehyung. "here you go baby"

you handed him the sonogram as you gently placed the other three in your purse.

He took it into his hands as his eyes softly grazed over it, Taehyung almost couldn't believe it.

It was all hitting him in this moment, the baby, the fact that you were actually pregnant, and you both were gonna need to change a lot of things in your lives, as well as probably moving into a larger apartment. Was it stressful? oh yeah, but did he yearn it, with you, more than anything? of course.

He was going to be a father, him

His heart jumped as he stared at the tiny photo in his grasp, how could he love someone hes never met? someone he knows nothing about? is it reasonable to be ready to devote your entire life to someone who has yet to enter the world?

"you coming?" you turn to see him standing, your voice knocking him out of his trance.

"o-oh, yeah" he smiled, being brought back to reality for a moment as his legs carried him to the parked car, getting into the drivers seat.

"its so early, do you wanna go shopping?" you ask, pulling your seatbelt over your body.

"mm that sounds nice, but we just went grocery shopping yesterday" he spoke softly, pulling out of the parking spot, checking the rear view mirror.

"well I was gonna say we can just walk down the strip of stores downtown, theres a pharmacy and I can grab the vitamins she recommended, then I think there is a baby shop somewhere around there as well.....for funsies." you shrug, looking out into the road.

His head turned to glance at you, God, you were so fucking beautiful. How did he ever deserve to be here in this position with you?

His hand crept up into yours, squeezing it affectionately, "youre so cute, baby" he smiled, watching as your hair gently blew from the cracked window, sun hitting your skin just right. "we can do that, we can do that" he whispered, eyes now on the road.

Taehyung never knew used to understand why parents bought so much fucking baby clothes for a newborn that was just gonna grow out of it in less than a month, it was a waste of money and it wasn't worth it.

Boy oh boy...you can say he gets it now.

"look how cute" he whispered, eyes boggling the tiny shoe isle inside the baby store, there was so many small items and it made his heart swell.

"im back!" you mumbled, walking into the store and immediately finding your boyfriend, his arms full of things.

"what do you have?" you giggled

"did you find the vitamins?" he retorted

"yes- now, what is in your hands?" you smiled brightly, watching the way his cheeks turn a dark shade of red.

"we obviously dont have to buy all of these, I just kept 'em with me to show you...look" he held up a fuzzy duckling blanket that came with a hood, it was stupidly adorable.

"aww...." you coo, taking it to examine it, "is it a towel or a blanket?"

"i think a blanket, I found it over there" he gestures, "I think we should get it, plus its gender neutral" he smiled

"hmm...Kim Taehyung, always tempting me" your voice was teasing, "fine...."

He grinned cheekily and held it for you, allowing you to walk past him and lead the way throughout the entire store.

"im thinking...I know its early...but when we do create the nursery we can make it like...a soft yellow?" you looked back to make sure he was following you

He nodded, "sounds good baby"

To be honest- Taehyung didnt care

Taehyung didnt care what color you chose for the nursery, or what clothing you picked, or what toys and decorations, as long as you were happy doing it, he had no problem agreeing to every decision you made. You could say he is your 'yes man'.

If it meant he could see you smiling all the time, he would let you get away with murder even.

"tae tae" you whispered, walking over to the shelf of stuffed animals, "can you reach up there and grab that?" you shyly asked, making him laugh as his eyes caught onto the small elephant.

He led his arm up and grabbed the one you wanted, handing it to you, "I had a stuffed animal like this when I was a baby, in fact its still at my moms house, I saw it when we were there" you gently explained.

"then lets get it" he quickly responded, his hand rubbing your lower back.

"we are such impulse buyers" you snorted, glancing around a bit more

"we will recover, im sure" taehyung teased, following you to the cashier to check out.

"We need to leave before we buy the store" you joke, placing the items onto the desk.

The both of you soon left with your bag of items, smiles on your face as you held each others hands, your feet leading you down the sunny sidewalk.

"what do you say, pretty girl? wanna head back home so I can make you something to eat?"

You squeezed his hand and nodded, suddenly excited at the idea of eating buttered toast, weirdly enough its the first and only craving youve had. "that sounds nice"

Taehyung walked closer to your apartment, he sent you inside as he made a quick run to the grocery market down the street by himself when you told him that you wanted to buy something pre-made for dinner tonight so neither of you would need to cook.

His eyes scanned the frozen foods section, opting to just pick up a small veggie pizza to share with you, knowing that is what you wouldve picked anyways.

He made his way over to the cashier, grabbing some mint gum for you as well as youve been extremely nauseous lately.

"is this all?" the man spoke, looking down at the items

"yeah....thats all-" taehyung looked up at the cashier and froze, it was Kaito.

they havent been this close since the party.

What is it with taehyung always running into kaito at his work?

"oh..." kaito quickly checked his items out and bagged it, shoving it to him. "$9.02, dickface"

"whats that?" taehyung glared, his voice filling with anger

"isnt that what you are? a fucking dick? hows y/n?"

"dont do this shit right here" tae looked behind him, "theres a line waiting" he whispered, pulling his wallet out.

"you dont have a right to be mad, youre the one who pulled her away from me" kaito bit, voice quiet but mad

"and arent you the one who hit her? you dont know the situation, stop assuming shit" taehyung pointed. "also- cut the spreading of rumors bullshit, really fucking childish kaito, even for you" He went to pull out his $10 bill

"plea-..." kaito stopped talking when some of the contents in taehyungs wallet fell onto the register, "whats that?"

the sonogram.

Taehyung swallowed, grabbing the picture along with his other credit cards and shoving them away, quickly tossing him the money so he can leave.

"is that y/n's......" his voice was shaky as his finger remained pointed at his wallet, "did you.....is that..."

"can you guys please cut the chit chat and hurry up? I have places to be" the middle aged woman holding her toddler behind them cut in, sounding impatient.

Taehyung kept quiet out of fear in admitting anything, so he just made sure he got the cash, grabbed his bag and left.

Although now thinking about it, mightve given off the idea that, yeah, that is yours. Perhaps he shouldve made some excuse.

"what took you so long, baby?" you smiled, walking into the kitchen holding Yeontan as taehyung opened his bag.

"sorry, it was crowded. pizza okay?"

"yes, thank you and sorry for making you run out again"

"its okay sweetheart" he whispered, placing the pizza into the freezer for later tonight.

Putting the puppy down, you walked over and hugged him from behind, head resting on his back.

He slightly jumped, startled by your actions.

"whats wrong?" your voice was soft, gentle.

"nothing"

"you seem kind of shaky, did something happen?"

he shook his head, turning to hold your hands

"tae I know when youre lying...what happened, talk to me" your hand gently crawled up to his cheek, rubbing the skin softly.

"its stupid, and not worth worrying about. Stress isnt good for you or baby so just drop it" he smiled, hands holding your stomach now.

You still protested, "im fine- just tell me"

He saw in your eyes that you werent going to let up, so he sighed before speaking. "um...kaito...he might know about...this" he circled his finger on your abdomen, watching as your eyes shot wide in fear,

"w-what!?"

"he was the cashier and of course I took his lane, anyways, i open my wallet to pay and the sonogram flies out" he whispered, guilt in his voice

Your hand squeezed his, shaky, "and what did you say?"

"nothing..."

"and what did he say?"

"he kind of asked me about you and I was just too scared to speak so I paid and left"

"taehyung!!" you ripped away and walked into the living room, "hes gonna assume that its mine"

"well it is" he countered

"but he doesnt need to know!!!" you tried to calm yourself but it was too late. "our fucking parents dont even know and my ex boyfriend does?"

"We dont know what he might be thinking!"

"taehyung....hes gonna go tell everyone, like he did before, calling me a ... a whore" your voice cracked.

"hey...hey" he walked towards you, rubbing your back "its okay..."

"thats easy for you to say!"

"listen, I know my words mean little to nothing right now, but I do know that it will be okay, he might not tell anyone, and we cant freak out before anything has happened? yeah?" he whispered, "im so sorry baby, I really am"

You took a deep breath as his arms wrapped around you, "its just....this situation isnt planned but ive been feeling kind of excited recently, and everytime I let myself do just that, be optimistic, something happens."

"be happy, enjoy this, I wont let anything happen, I promise to take care of you both" his voice was guilty as you leaned into him. "i promise"

"do you think we should start thinking of telling our families?" you interrupt the silence after a moment.

He pulled away with wide eyes, "what? now?"

"soon" you nodded

"why?"

"taehyung, they will have to know eventually....and if this does get out, kaito is friends with my moms social media page, all he has to do is text her and then everything is ruined. If she or anyone close to us is gonna find out, its gonna be from you and me."

He sighed, "okay.....I understand that, sorry I just got a little nervous....not entirely used to this whole thing yet"

"and thats okay, but we need to be there for eachother, because I honestly just want to try and make the best of the situation"

"me too...me too" he sighed once more, feeling the spot you were coming from. "we'll be okay" he promised once more, kissing small pecks all over your face to distract you.

You never knew you were able to have this much sex.

Before, you two usually had it whenever your schedules allowed fit, or if you were lucky, taehyung would give in the week before your period started if you hounded him enough. (although he didnt mind it at all)

but within the past two weeks, its like your body is seeking dick non-stop, leaving taehyung the poor victim of the situation.

when he gets home from literally anything? sex.

when you two shower? oh yeah, sex.

when you both are watching tv on the couch? you guessed it, sex!

its all the time...

"fuck, taehyung.....you feel so good" your voice was breathless as you rocked your hips on his lap, head thrown back as his cock fit inside you deliciously.

it was nearly 4am and you had woken him up because you were so horny, despite you two having it out just before you went to sleep.

"doing so well baby" taehyung closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headboard, groaning as you rode him, "oh, shit, just like that- yeah..."

"mmm" you wined, hands gripping his shoulders as he began to thrust his hips beneath you, making your mouth fall open as you silently scream. "shit, shit, oh my god-"

"dont stop moving, baby, keep your hips- yeah just keep doing that, oh god baby you feel amazing" he instructed you as his hands rested on your sides, assisting your movements. "gonna fucking cum" he groaned tightly.

"ah- im so close" you bounced your hips a bit, suddenly hiding your face into his neck as your climax approached. When he came, his hands squeezed your skin as he whispered your name over and over again, not stopping his movements until you came around his dick. He spilled into you freely, something he didnt know he would enjoy until you told him he didnt need to use a condom, at this point- it became an addiction to feel you.

"cum for me baby, its okay, I love you" he whispered in your ear, feeling you clench around him before releasing, a desperate moan escaping your lips.

"oh my fucking- oh god, tae...please, ohhh" you rocked your hips, riding out the last yet strong waves of your orgasm

He waited a moment until you both calmed down, he tried to pull your head back so he could see you, his hand pushing away your sweaty hair.

"you okay, baby?" he chuckled quietly, "why you hiding, hm?"

You remained silent, arms gently holding his waist as he heard a sniffle.

"what wrong? are you crying?" he began to grow more concerned, he moved you both so he could actually be face to face. "what happened? did I hurt you?"

"no- no you didnt do anything" you wiped your eyes, "i just feel like im using you"

"what?" he frowned, eyes looking into yours, "you arent using me, I dont feel that way at all honey, why are you saying this?" he trailed his hand to grab yours, entwining your fingers together.

You shrug, "i dont know...I feel bad because I just woke you up to do this, and then yesterday I did it too when you were busy putting together that new table I ordered, and then I felt guilty about the fact I made you put the table together in the first place because im the stupid one who ordered it and I feel like im irritating you and I want you to know its okay to say no to me, my hormones are just really crazy right now and-"

"y/n" he stared at you, a soft yet slightly amused expression, "stop"

You sniffled again and swallowed

"You arent bothering me in the slightest, if you think sex is bothering me you are crazy" he softly giggled, "and I know you are probably feeling a lot of things right now and its okay, I wont ever make you feel guilty about that, its normal."

he squeezed your hands, continuing

"and the table was hard to put together anyways, you would have been super confused, we need to stop ordering from ikea" he smirked.

"but they have cute stuff" you countered as he handed you a tissue from the bedside counter.

"I know but so does other places, If we decide to order baby shit from Ikea I refuse to assemble them by myself" he teased

"i'll help" you smiled softly, leaning back onto his chest as he rubbed your back.

"love you" he whispered

"I love you too"

the room was silent for a moment before he helped you up, gently rubbing your sore thighs before grabbing more tissues so that you could wipe yourself, his cum dripping out of you.

"see, im not used to that" you giggled, "kinda feels gross not gonna lie"

"we dont have to do it raw, I can wear a condom if its too messy for you" he offered

"meh" you shrug, walking to the bathroom to pee, "it feels good its just the cleanup I hate, you know?"

He smiled and cleaned himself up before you came back out, opting to grab one of his shirts from the closet and sliding it on and getting back in bed with him.

He hummed contently, turning the light off again and squeezing you close to him.

"I think I want to do online classes" you softly spoke, head against his chest.

"hm? what was that?" his eyes were shut, arm draped over your waist.

"college classes, I think its good if I switch to taking them online at home next semester"

"because of the baby?"

you hum, "yeah but also just the stress...I already feel nauseous a lot and walking to classes and seeing my old friends makes me sick to my stomach."

"too much drama" he added, "no I think thats good sweetheart" he yawned

"yeah?" you fluttered your eyes closed, tiredness setting in

"mm...stay home with me, i'll take care of you" he whispered before holding you tight and falling asleep not too long before you do too.

This morning you sat on the bathroom floor, grabbing a facecloth and wiping your mouth after you felt sure enough that there was no more vomit coming up.

out of all the changes you had recently, you wish this one would disappear the most.

"hey, you alright?" taehyung gently whispered, knocking on the door

"im fine." you stood up and washed your face as you felt the door move, his body pushing through to get next to you.

"why didnt you wake me?" he spoke, hand on your back as you quickly began to apply makeup.

"because Ive ben dealing with it for a bit now, and I can handle it" you shrugged, eyeing him in the mirror.

Your tone of voice suggested you were in a mood again this morning, so taehyung simply nodded, choosing to leave you alone instead of arguing. "okay, baby"

He wants to think hes been doing okay recently, regarding taking care of you. Taehyung knows that sometimes you just are angry or pissed for no reason, and unfortunately he is often the one who takes some of it, but at the same time he knows its not your fault and you feel awful about it, so he decides on just agreeing with whatever you say or do.

when you do come out of the bathroom, you are fully dressed and ready to leave, "I have to go to a job interview" you smile shyly

"oh the daycare place?" he looks over at you while he makes the bed

"yeah...I usually see college girls working there so I dont see why they wouldnt hire me" you shrug, gathering your stuff.

"what time is it at?" he asks, eyes taking in how cute you look in your red puffy sleeved shirt and jeans.

"um..." you check your watch, "holy shit, I have to get over there in 10 minutes, I have to run, bye baby" you kiss him quickly and began to walk away, speaking fast "dont forget to do the laundry please, also wash yeontans bed as well, its begining to smell like dirty dog in the living room okay byeeee!" you shut the door and began to run to the elevator, leaving taehyung alone in the bedroom.

"well buddy, its just you and me, huh?" he smiled, looking down at the puppy as he wagged his tail happily. "wanna help daddy clean?" he picked him up as he walked into the laundry room, tossing the dirty clothes into the washing machine.

Yeontan took no interest in helping, but he was fascinated by the black sock on the floor that took him no time to run away with.

"hey!" taehyung shook his head as he poured detergent, "I thought this was teamwork, huh?"

"honestly, you seem like a great fit, I think you would get along with the main teacher nicely"

Your eyes widened at the daycare leaders words, smiling a bit "really? thank you, oh my god"

The older woman smiled, nodding "yes, youre young, nice from what I can tell, and you said you have experience with children?"

"yes! when I was in high school I volunteered with the pre-school kiddos, super cute and I loved doing it every week"

"perfect" she wrote something down, "and how far away do you live?"

"oh I live not too far, I walked here today and it took about 7 minutes"

"oh thats great! and how do you feel about hours? we are open monday-friday, 8am to 3pm"

You thought for a moment, "well I just finished up my semester in college for the year, but I will be taking classes again in the fall, so what I choose now may change" you giggle softly, "um, right now I think about 3 days a week will be good, I should probably mention that I am pregnant too"

She smiled widely, "oh my God, congratulations, youre so young?"

"thank you, and yeah I know" you shyly smile, "um but..yeah 3 days I think is good, my boyfriend is also getting a job so he will work on the days I dont"

She nodded, finishing writing things down, "if you dont mind me asking, how far along are you?"

"oh just about 3 months, so no maternity leave until like..October or September."

"okay okay.." she put her clipboard down and smiled, standing to shake your hand, "well, Y/N, you are hired, I think you will be amazing here"

"I seriously cannot thank you enough!" you shook her hand and collected the papers, reciprocating the gentle hug she gave you before handing over the shirt you will wear.

"I'll see you next week"

you nodded and thanked her again, turning to head home as fast as you could so you can tell taehyung.

juggling with everything in your arms, you manage to take your key out and open the door, calling out his name "tae!! Im home!!'

when he didnt respond you gently placed everything on the kitchen island and walked through the hall, "baby? you home?"

"in here"

you listened to his muffled voice coming from his bedroom, "you can come in" taehyung added

You twisted the handle and opened the door, eyes wide as you gazed around at the room. "taehyung....what is all this"

He sheepishly smiled, "I know its early, like, really early, but I wanted to start by clearing some stuff out" he walked over "this can be the nursery"

Your face softened, "baby...you didnt have to- what about your bed? where is all this stuff gonna go?"

"we can sell the bed, and the old desk, I never even sleep in here anymore and your room is the bigger one anyways, this is perfect for the baby"

You looked at everything on the walls now in boxes, the bed stripped and everything pushed into one corner of the room, "baby....thank you, but are you sure?" you whispered

He nodded, pointing at the other corner "i put some of the things we bought over there, we can just toss it all in this room until we actually begin to decorate. youre okay with me bringing some of my things into your room?"

You smile, "yeah honey, thats ok" you look up at him and hold his arm lovingly. "youre so sweet....the baby will probably be with us for the first few months, in our room, you know that right?"

"yeah, but still they need a place of their own" he shrugged, kissing your forehead. "how did the interview go?"

You giggle, pulling away to jump around, "I got the job, I start next week and im working Monday through Wednesday, it pays super well"

"baby!" he smiled and picked you up, spinning around a little "im so proud of you, I knew you would get it, they would be crazy not to hire you!!"

He kissed you a bunch of times, making you smile even wider. "I love you sweet girl, so much"

"I love you too, I love you soooo much" you kissed him back, gently swaying in his semi-empty bedroom.

"we are doing good so far, like if we just paid attention to us and the situation....things arent too bad" he shrugged

"I agree, lets just hope it stays that way" you press a soft kiss to his neck.

"oh and 2 things, one, my check from the art show finally came in, they gave me 3k"

"holy shit, tae"

"I know I know but I think its a good idea to put it aside for a bit, life isnt that pricey right now but we know things will change, so lets make it emergency money."

You nod, "okay thats fine, thats a lot of money though, god"

He chuckles, "I know, oh and the other thing" he walks and sits on his mattress. "I think we should go on our Paris trip soon....I know you were feeling iffy about it, but almost everything is paid for, it'll just be a little one week thing....one last big trip before-" he glances down at your stomach. "hotel is already paid, and the food is too if we eat there. only thing we need to pay for is things we decide to purchase, and transportation"

You sigh and sit next to him, "hmm....I dont know...I mean I wanna go to Paris soon too but I also told my mom we, or I, would be with her this summer in Gwangju, but now that I have a job it will just have to be a short visit. Besides I thought we booked the Paris trip for August."

He frowned slightly, "I mean the trip isnt really booked unless I call them, but I was just thinking maybe its better to have it sooner, so youre not like 6 months pregnant when we go, and that way you can relax for a week or so with your mom after."

"hmm" you ponder, resting your head on his shoulder. "lots of traveling, I hope my work doesnt get mad at me"

"yeah..."

"i mean....I guess we can try to go next month" you look at him, "but I would like to tell our parents before we go, because I think if I see my mom after she will definitely be able to tell if im 4 months pregnant"

He nods and kisses you gently, "okay baby, we will tell our families"

"dont worry...Im nervous too" you held his hand, eyes dragging to the small collection of baby things the two of you had bought.

"one way or another we will get through it."

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

#bts #bts fanfic #taehyung #bts smut #bts fluff #kim taehyung #kim taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #taehyung fanfic #taehyung smut #bts taehyung #smut #open requests #writing requests #requests open #taehyung bts #bts requests

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feralrunaway · 3 years

Text

Yrsa

Summary: A supernatural AU from this prompt: “Berserker Captain Syverson, and ‘I want to hear you beg for it’.” from @mrsaugustwalker’s Great Writing Challenge.

Pairing: Berserker!Sy x fem!reader

Word Count: 6k+

Warnings: Blood, gore, violence, wild historical inaccuracies, mentions of slavery, SMUT, soulmates, primal sex, rough sex, oral sex, claiming/mating (consensual), dominant male, virgin reader, unprotected sex, bodily fluids, there’s probably more, just like…this fic is 18+, okay?

A/N: Okay so this prompt was originally meant to be just a quick, smutty “Hell yeah, Viking warrior Sy!” thing but noooo, I went completely off the rails with this so I’m just going to apologize in advance. I started writing this intending an inclusive second person perspective, but I did end up including some things that will not resonate with all. This is nothing like what I usually write, PLEASE heed the warnings. So, without further ado…let’s get weird.

———————

“I want to hear you beg for it.”

The man leered at you, the stench of his rotten teeth reaching you even through the bars of the makeshift prison fitted to the back of the slaver’s wagon. He cackled at your deep glare, holding the small tray of hard bread and day-old vegetables just out of reach.

“Got us another stubborn one. Don’t worry, pretty girl. You’ll come around soon enough, yeah? They always get hungry eventually.” He pawed at your ankle through the bars and you growled, kicking out at him but narrowly missing, and he cackled again. “Give it time, little bear. You’ll be begging for me to come back soon enough.”

You bared your teeth at him as he left, stubbornly refusing to give them the satisfaction of seeing you beg. You would rather starve to death than bend to the will of your captors.

“So feisty still. Don’t worry, yrsa. They will tire of the taunting when you give them less sport.”

You looked to the woman on your left. Likely a great beauty under normal circumstances, her long thick braids were slightly disheveled, her fine blue shift covered in smears of dirt indicating she had put up a fair few struggles herself before adopting the bored expression she now held. She gave off an air of strength, even in the cramped, miserable quarters of the cage. Fierce features and a regal air made you desire to lean into her strength, however feigned, but you resisted.

You huffed and threw yourself back against the bars before drawing your arms around yourself. The late autumn chill was seeping in now that the sun had gone down and you spared a brief glance at the fire the slavers were huddled around. You would not be jealous.

“And how is it you ended up in this mess? You look as if you could walk away whenever you choose,” you grouse.

She spared you half of a sardonic smile and lifted the hem of her dress enough to reveal heavy manacles latched to both her ankles and secured to a bolt below her feet.

“They learned quickly. Stuck here for the time. Besides, if…when I get out of here, my brother will have my head for letting my axe out of my sight long enough for these brutes and brigands to get their hands on me.”

You sniffed, feeling a bit chastised for your annoyance toward the woman.

“What about you, Little Bear?” she prompted with a smirk, looking over your attire, “You’re obviously not from here. Did your father owe someone too much money?”

You huffed again. “My father died when I was a baby. My mother too. I was taken quite far away and raised by my aunt. I was venturing into your lovely lands to find out if I had more family or any history here. Much to my current despair,” you finished, rolling your eyes.

The two of you sat in tense silence for moments, soaking in your venomous wrath toward the men who had taken you by surprise at the last village you had stopped at for the night. Brigands, both local and foreign to these cold Northern lands. The bottom of the barrel, operating solely out of greed for what they could profit on when pulling lone humans from their beds at each place they passed by. Violence and chaos left in their wake.

“Do you have any idea where they are taking us?” you prompted when the silence grew too heavy.

“South most likely, toward Hedeby. There is a trading settlement there. We won’t make it that far,” she expressed with a surety you envied.

---------------

Asbjørn Syversson stood before the forest’s edge, observing the small caravan. For the last seven days the Berserkir warriors had tracked the thieves, the last three of which they had kept them in their sights. Three days of concealment among the trees, observing their soon-to-be prey. Three days to delve into the rituals so vital to communion with the bear spirit within. To prepare for battle.

The brigands had stolen the king’s sister from the village she had been visiting. The idiots had no idea who they had among them, the danger they had placed themselves in. The king had called upon his Berserkirs to retrieve her and punish the men. They had no idea the hell that was about to rain down upon them.

Syversson shifted on his feet, suppressing the straining beast within. Something was different about this hunt. Something that scratched at his skin, woke his senses. A…scent in the air, one that got stronger as they narrowed the gap to the traveling party.

His men, sensing his tension, rose to their feet behind him, readying themselves to allow the bear spirit free reign of their bodies.

“It is time.”

------------------

“There, now you look like a proper Northwoman,” your companion laughed as she finished braiding your hair. You had learned her name was Bodil. She had quickly found that maintaining conversation was a fine way to distract you from your anger long enough to convince you to eat.

“Mm. Just in time to be sold like livestock. We seem to be getting closer to our destination,” you remarked glumly. “I’m sorry your hope of a rescue did not come true.”

Bodil chuckled. “Oh hardly, my sweet friend. They’ve been tracking us for days. I’m surprised you had not noticed them yourself.”

“I am no tracker. How was I to have noticed?” you replied, a sudden bloom of hope erupting in your chest.

She hummed in reply, avoiding answering.

Your eyes skimmed the perimeter of the camp as the brigands prepared their evening fires. You saw nothing out of the ordinary. Perhaps Bodil was just being hopeful, imagining a rescue that would never come. Or perhaps she was telling you such things to ease the worry in your heart until you reached the trading settlement.

“Rest now,” she said, obviously sensing your doubt, “They will come soon.”

---------------

You jolted awake to the sound of a deafening roar.

Disoriented, you cowered to the corner of the pen, trembling.

“Do not hide girl,” Bodil said. She turned to you, grinning like a madwoman, her eyes alight and fierce. “You will not want to miss this.”

You crept forward slowly and looked out between the bars. The camp was in disarray, men tearing themselves from their sleeping rolls to gather weapons, their countenances dripping with fear.

Another fierce roar vibrated across the land, and this time through your chest, down your spine, and down even to your toes. Your heart pounded. Your hands gripped the bars and you pressed forward to see. When your eyes fell upon the source of the brigands’ fear, your mouth went dry.

Perhaps ten men (if you could call them that, for they were the largest men you had ever seen) approached the camp at a swift pace. They wore no shirts, not a stitch of armor amongst them. They were bare from the waist up save for the skin of a bear draped across their shoulders, some with the pelt covering their own scalp and the face of a bear hanging over their foreheads. Every one of them thick with muscle and their eyes completely feral. These were more animal than man.

“What are they?” You asked, hating the tremble in your voice.

“Berserkirs. My brother’s prized warriors. Our most fearsome defenders. The spirit of a bear resides inside each of them. Part man, part beast. And very entertaining, if you understand me,” Bodil’s eyes were alight with both humor and fervor. This woman must be insane, you thought.

Their leader charging in the front of the group let out one more deafening roar, his almost-fangs on full display, the corded muscle in his neck pulsing beneath a thick tangle of beard. The sound rang through you again, causing every nerve of your body to leap to awareness. Then they descended upon the camp.

Axes and swords swung high, arcs of blood following in their wake. Some did not even bother with weapons, tearing into their foes with their bare hands. Men…well, parts of what used to be men…were thrown to and fro in their battle fury. An errant arm smacked against the bars of the cage that separated you and Bodil from the fray, before landing in the mud with a thump. You yipped in surprise, falling back onto your rump. The sound drew the attention of the man nearest you, their leader. His inhuman eyes locked onto your face momentarily, sending a jolt of lightening through your senses, before he tore his gaze away and back to the slaughter.

You turned toward Bodil to see she was still smiling, battle-lust strong in her eyes. Her fingers moving of their own accord as though she wished she was participating as well. Not that she would have had much to do, as the battle was quite brief, and soon you found yourself staring over a campsite of slain men. The Berserkirs stood breathing heavily amongst the bodies, each one of them covered in a spray of blood.

Their leader locked eyes with you again before moving closer. You felt rooted in place, your chest heaving.

“Asbjørn, son of Syver. Leader of my brother’s warriors,” Bodil identified as he placed his hands on the bars. He seemed not to notice the introduction, eyes roaming over you. He sniffed the air slowly. He may have been the most beautiful, most terrifying man you had ever laid eyes upon. His bare chest was covered in thick curls of hair that trailed down his stomach and below the waist of his pants. Your view felt locked upon him, drawn to his handsome features. As your eyes trailed back up to his face, he cocked his head to the side slightly as though in question. Suddenly the muscles in his chest and arms bunched, and the bars were torn away with a resounding crack that jolted you to your core.

“Yrsa,” his deep, gravelly voice caused an involuntary shiver to run down your spine.

“What does that mean?” You asked, unable to take your eyes off the formidable creature devouring you with his gaze. You felt a heat blooming in your lower belly the longer he stood there, drinking you in.

“She-bear. His spirit recognizes yours, I gather. Have fun with that one, my little friend,” Bodil grinned wickedly as another of the men came over and hacked open the chain of her manacles with an axe and she leapt from the makeshift cage.

“B-but Bodil! Wait!” you tried, but she was already walking off, pausing only to pull an abandoned axe from the chest of a slain man and jauntily following the men who were now stripping the camp of any valuables and making their way back to the woods.

You had no option but to turn your attention back to the very intense, very intimidating stare of the warrior blocking your own exit from the carriage. Had this been a rescue only meant for one? It only occurred to you in that moment that you were still a stranger here. One who had been meant to be sold as property. Would these men have a similar intention? Perhaps you were quite stupid in that moment, but the thought made you angry, so you returned the intensity of his stare with a low growl in his direction.

To your complete and utter bemusement, it drew a slight smile from the man. He reached out toward you and you flinched back, earning a sharp look from him. But instead of his hand harming you, he simply ran one of your braids over his open palm in a seemingly reverent gesture. He then leaned in closer, his nostrils flaring slightly as he breathed in your scent. He hummed low in his throat, causing you to clench involuntarily.

It was then you lost all your senses. You dove under his arm out of the carriage and rolled through the mud to your feet, taking off at a sprint. To where, you had no idea. You likely had no hope of outrunning the man or his party, no idea why you even were. It’s not like he had harmed you, quite the opposite in fact. But the loss of control over your own reactions in combination with the brutality of the battle you had just seen take place had your primal instincts running high, so your only thought was to flee.

----------------

Syversson watched you scamper away like a frightened rabbit. He tamped down his instinctual urge to give chase. You wouldn’t get far in these unfamiliar woods.

He walked back to the woods to the camp where Bodil and his men waited, using the time to wrestle his own bear-spirit back into submission. He’d never felt anything remotely similar to the feeling that had clawed through his body when he laid eyes on you. Raw, fierce, visceral desire. Not just of the flesh, but an impassioned, soul-deep hunger had overtaken him. He needed to know you. Taste you. Feel your aromatic, soft skin under his fingers. But more than anything, he desired to mark you. In every way possible. To dominate and make you unquestionably his.

Tense, he crossed the final distance into the woods to where his men would camp for the night. Several pairs of half-golden eyes trained themselves to him as he approached, fading back into their normal hues as the men’s own spirits returned to the forefront of their consciousness.

“Return the shield-maiden to her brother. I will join you in the great hall in one week’s time,” was all he managed to grit out, before turning to gather his own sparse belongings and setting off in the direction you had run, Bodil’s knowing laughter fading into the forest at his back.

----------------

So stupid. Absolutely idiotic. You had made a mistake.

You had always had a fondness for the forest back home. You spent inordinate amounts of time trekking and exploring the trees near your aunt’s village. You had thought you would be fine on your own. How wrong you were.

These Northern woods were thick, unfamiliar, and disorienting. And so cold. You had wandered for nearly a day and a half and not found your way out. Completely lost and frightened, you sat down on the trunk of an overturned tree to soak in your own despair for a while. Fuck. You shivered, your kirtle was half soaked with frozen mud. You needed to find shelter or build a fire before the sun set or you would freeze in your sleep. You needed food. And you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was watching you. Giving yourself a mental shake, you stood and made to trek on.

An hour later you found yourself standing at the mouth of a cave, the darkness inside both intimidating and inviting. You wanted desperately to shelter inside and begin building a fire with the wood you had gathered. You crept inside the mouth of the cave, moving slowly. Once inside, you placed down the wood and set to work stacking it and preparing the fire, your unease drifting away as you worked. Relief hit you as the first small flames began licking up the stack of wood and you held your hands toward it to warm them as you knelt on the stone ground.

Within minutes your frozen fingers had thawed and you began wondering whether it was worth the effort to find food to gather as darkness began to fall outside. Perhaps you should sleep and worry about finding food in the morning light. You raised your head to assess the best place to lay yourself near the fire, and found yourself staring right into a reflective pair of eyes.

You gasped and fell back, scrambling away from the large grey wolf staring at you from across the fire. It began moving closer to you, its lips pulling away from its teeth as it paced slowly in your direction. You racked your mind, desperate to think of a way out of this situation as the animal drew nearer. Was this it? Rescued from slavers only to be eaten alive by an angry denizen of the forest? Your fear of the Berserkirs seemed ridiculous to you now. What you wouldn’t give to have that feral strength present in this moment.

You tried to slowly scoot yourself closer to the fire. If you could just grab hold of one of the flaming logs, perhaps you could scare the wolf away. At a snail’s pace, you crept your arm along the stone ground, reaching, leaning. Your fingers finally closed around the base of one of the torches and you tugged it lightly toward yourself. Weapon in hand now, you pulled yourself back just as slowly, desperate not to attract the wrath of the creature in front of you with any sudden movements.

But just as you brought it near, your plan was foiled as the stacked wood from the fire collapsed, popping and crackling as it sent a plume of embers flying toward both yourself and your adversary. The wolf, agitated and emboldened by the sudden commotion, launched itself at you. Its jaws agape, the mass of fur and claws signaled your bitter, sad end. There was nothing left for you to do but scream your last rebellious cry at the world as you swung the torch toward your own doom.

But you never made contact.

A roar reverberated through the stone walls of the cave, and something much larger and more furious made impact with the creature, throwing both itself and the wolf past the burning mess that was your fire. Two bodies made impact against the stone, growling, tumbling. Yips and roars of pain could be heard as your eyes made out the color of a man’s flesh tangled against the grey fur of the wolf and the deep, sanguine rivulets of fresh blood.

Syversson.

You watched, frozen, as the absolute beast of a man tore into his adversary. A battle between two animals took place before your eyes, fear and pity warring in your heart for both combatants. Another pained yip tore through the air and the wolf was thrown from the man. Clearly taking it as a signal to its defeat, the animal began a limping run toward the mouth of the cave. The man shot to his feet, clearly intending to give chase, but you had seen too much. You shot up to intercept him, and pressed both hands against his chest.

“No! Please, no. It’s gone. Please.”

You were sure that he could easily knock you aside, but not much could be said in favor of your sense of self-preservation lately anyway. But to your surprise, he halted. His near-golden eyes slowly swiveled to your face, then down to where your palms lay firmly against his sculpted chest. His massive ribcage expanded with a deep breath, which he expelled as a firm chuff in your direction, clearly intending to signal his displeasure. Your knees weakened considerably at the action, but you stood as firm as you could, setting your jaw and glaring into his eyes.

His eyebrows drew together as he observed your actions, his muscles dancing tense underneath your hands. It was obvious he was fighting for control over the beast inside himself. A low growl rumbled from deep within his chest, making your toes curl against the rough stone floor. Your now trembling fingers pressed more firmly against him in an attempt to guide him back.

“You’re hurt, please. Let me help you.”

His eyes traveled to where yours indicated, a deep gash across his shoulder that now sluggishly leaked blood. Your tone was clearly soothing enough for the large man, because he relented, allowing you to push him back toward the rough walls. Guiding him to sit, you quickly tore and gathered what clean cloth you could from your underdress, the over being still covered in now-dried but only slightly less frozen mud from your journey. You carefully wrapped the cloth around the wound and up under the pit of his arm before tying it off. You prayed to the gods you would be able to find clean water soon to wash it, but this would do for now. He never once winced with your ministrations, just monitored your face continuously with those eyes that were slowly fading from gold to a striking blue.

“Are you…are you human again now?”

He chuckled at that. “Yrsa, I will never be fully human. But my bear spirit has settled for the time, if that is what you mean.”

“Why did you follow me?” you asked, “Do you mean to sell me like those men did?”

A fierce anger overtook his features at that.

“Sell you?! Never! I followed you because you are mine. Your spirit calls to mine, do you not feel it?”

You felt something, sure. But what was he talking about? Whatever you felt was surely just part of all the fear and exhaustion and bafflement at the entire situation you had found yourself in. “Y-yours? I don’t understand.”

“My mate.”

“Your…what? I don’t know what you mean,” you found yourself intrigued, but instincts had you moving back from him. You wouldn’t run this time, no. He had proven to be no harm to you, but you also weren’t sure what this mate business was all about and you weren’t sure what his intentions toward you were because of it.

“Perhaps it would be better if I showed you,” he said with a smirk, unfurling his legs and leaning forward toward you. He was an imposing man, all muscle and fur and gleaming teeth. Your breath quickened as he towered over your sitting form, moving closer until he hovered right above you. He sniffed at your hair, your neck, causing shivers to run the length of your body. You found yourself overwhelmed and unable to concentrate on anything but his own musky scent; earth, salt, and the coppery tang of blood lingered around him. Something primal within you reacted to it, causing you to inhale another deep lungful as your core clenched and you pressed your thighs together. His arm reached out, and you unconsciously braced for whatever he was about to do to you.

He grasped one of the logs from the fire and smirked at you again, then set himself to rebuilding the mess that had become of your makeshift camp. You watched, confused.

“You’re mine. Your soul was meant for mine. And mine for yours. I do intend to show you that, in many, many pleasurable ways. But most importantly, I will take care of you.” He gathered the furs you had seen him don previously and arranged them by the fire. “Come.”

You stared, unmoving.

“It is cold. You are shivering. Come.”

Your mouth gaped slightly.

“I-“

“Come.”

Your body drew you to him, unbidden by your own will. As though some soul-deep part of you begged to obey his command. You lay yourself down, stiffly at first, though you relaxed as you drew closer to the warmth of the fire and furs. Feeling nearly delirious as your own body and desire betrayed your stubbornness. Perhaps this is how it ends, a small part of your psyche whispered. Perhaps this is how it begins, whispered another.

“Yes, yrsa. You are safe now. Lay with me,” he whispered in your ear as he enveloped you in his large frame and drew the furs around you both.

And oh if his skin wasn’t deliciously heated against your own, which up until that point you had subconsciously feared would never be fully warm again. Fine tremors wracked their way up your spine as you allowed yourself to relax into the feeling of him pressed up against you. His massive, muscled arm came around you, the pressure just enough to make you feel tender and encapsulated without feeling trapped.

The sound that rumbled from his chest as he felt you relax against him was both delicious and foreign at once. The deep, guttural hum seeped into your muscles and bones like the drum of a war march and the tranquility of a summer rain simultaneously. Could you reach euphoria from a single sound?

Your eyelids sunk heavily as your pupils reached a zenith. A final shudder listed lazily through your being as you were drawn deeply into unconsciousness, feeling wholly, irrationally, for the first time since you were a child, that you were well and truly cared for.

_____________

It wasn’t until the dead of the night, when the fire had burnt itself down to embers, that you awoke.

You weren’t sure of the cause at first, until that blissful hum penetrated into your half-lucid mind. The son of Syver remained stationed in a protective cocoon around your frame, though he stirred now, the movements of his deep breaths pressing him against you. As if he sensed your return to the world of the living, he nuzzled against your hair. No words needed spoken as you cued into the change in him.

Heat,

weight,

…need.

Any slight movements of your body caused you to press against that ardent need. The errant desire that pulsed through you at the realization caused your head to lull back against the firm wall of his chest, a low moan escaping your lips. That was all the encouragement he needed.

His large hands began to roam your body, causing all concerns to flutter away like petals of spring flowers blown in a heavy wind. You were suddenly devoid of all but a certain theme of awareness, drugged by the touch and vocalizations of a near-stranger. One who was no stranger at all, you knew deep down, for you were aware of who he was, regardless of any stubborn desire to rationalize.

You sensed the tension in him. The rapturous fury held leashed. The strength with which he held himself at bay did nothing but add to the heated desire building within you. This was part of you, you realized. A deeply dormant, visceral need contained in your soul which you had only just realized.

“Please.”

A needy whisper.

He groaned, muscles tremoring.

“Are you sure, yrsa? For I will not hold back once I have started.”

His proclamation was emphasized by a firm grip of your fleshy thigh, the painful pressure causing you to gasp.

“I have no desire to be gentle with you.”

You moaned again. “Please!” came your desperate, breathless consent.

He growled his approval against the skin of your neck as you were roughly rolled to your back.

His tongue darted out from between his thick, plush lips as it traced your collarbone. You arched upward toward his hungry form, pressing your chest against his as his body drew over yours.

“Your scent…your taste. It’s intoxicating,” he rumbled as his mouth further explored your skin. He moved up, capturing your mouth with his. He was not a gentle man. It was an almost furious kiss, stealing the breath from your lungs as his tongue pressed between your lips and began to battle your own for dominance. His heavy frame pressed into you with the most delicious weight, settled between your legs as he rendered you nearly thoughtless with his mouth upon yours. He pulled back, his chest heaving, and you nearly followed his mouth in desperation for more. “I must taste more of you,” he rasped harshly.

Rough fingers tore asunder the top of your shift, your small noise of protest only seeming to encourage him further as he greedily palmed your breasts. Each of your nipples was laved in turn, sucked into the warmth of his mouth, causing your body to undulate against his as a torrent of sensations flowed through your form and straight to your core. The urgency emanating from him did not allow him to stop there though.

His tongue and lips danced down your body, his beard tracing a burning trail along your skin, setting alight parts of you that you hadn’t even been aware could burn. You were desperately near begging when he finally pushed your skirts up, his eyes drinking in the sight before him.

“So. Beautiful.”

His words alone were enough to send a river of arousal dripping from you, but the awe present on his rough, handsome features nearly threw you over the edge before he had even touched you. Never had you thought your body was capable of such desire and need. A small whine escaped from you, causing his attention to finally snap to its target. As he lowered his face to your apex, you instinctually pressed up toward him. The hum of approval that fell from his lips as they met your wet heat vibrated through you and nearly made you delirious. His hands gripped at your thighs, the painful pressure only adding to your euphoria as his tongue pressed against you, lapping at your sweet folds rhythmically, firmly. It felt as though he were sending waves of pleasure through you, building to larger and larger cascades until they crested over an unyielding shore. You had never felt anything of the sort, and were nearly blinded as the pressure building within you snapped and you cried out in bliss, shuddering against him, though his hands held your hips firmly in place.

He rose back over you, one arm holding his weight from crushing you, the other reaching a hand to wipe his beard.

“You are…the most delicious, most amazing woman I have ever tasted.”

You had no words to offer in return as you fought to catch your breath. You stared up into his eyes as they devoured your countenance. The beautiful azure was slowly being tinged by gold. You watched in absolute awe as the stain wandered across his vision, not fully, but enough to tell you he was being consumed by instinct. The sight shook you to your very essence, and your legs spread unconsciously as your desire built again. His low growl signaled to you that his desire was just as strong, reverberating through your bones, sinews, and to your very core. His lack of movement told you that he was still containing himself. Waiting for your permission.

He had it. He had that and more. Whatever this was between you, you wanted to let him in, to let him own every inch of you. You reached up and began unlacing his breeches, his impressive length pressing taut against the leather. As you pushed the fabric open and down, over his hips, he shuddered, muscles bunching in his arms and chest as he fought his own instincts long enough to let you lead this small part of your impending union.

His revealed anatomy astounded you, your lips parting slightly in awe. It was somehow the most beautiful and frightening thing you had ever laid eyes upon. His heartbeat thundered visibly, apparent in the pulsing veins that wove thick and proud around his girth. You reached out and lightly, hesitantly traced a finger along one. His growl deepened significantly, pleasure and frustration spilling out of him in the waves of sound. You looked to his eyes, pupils lust-blown and dark amongst the blue and gold of his irises. One moment suspended in time as your eyes met. There it was. That mystery that linked your two souls. Your mutual desire, care, and need hung like a tether between the two of you, stretched taut. He saw the change in you as you recognized it, and with that, he moved.

Lining himself up with your entrance, he pushed his hips forward slowly. The intrusion was vast against your untrained walls. The stretch, despite his preparation, was both painful and pleasurable and you keened as he pressed into you, inch by deliciously torturous inch, tearing asunder your resistance. Your fingers clawed for purchase against his chest as he bottomed out within you, his moan of pleasure furthering your descent into a near-feral woman. He allowed you a mere moment to adjust before the dam of his control finally broke, and he drew back and began to thrust into you in earnest.

You cried out as his pelvis rocked against yours, his length jutting into your core, his ridges burning friction against your soft walls. The painful pleasure of his rigid lust consumed you, ate up your thoughts until you were nothing but a being of pure, animalistic sensation. His face pressed against your neck, lips giving way to teeth as he marked your body as his. His rutting form enveloped you, skin pressing against skin, the coarse hairs of his chest creating further friction against your exposed breasts and nipples. As you cried out again, he pulled out completely.

His strong, calloused hands moved to your hips, flipping your body with ease onto all fours, and he slammed back into you without hesitation. You barely held yourself up as your body tremored all over. One of his arms snaked around your middle, holding you in position, as his other hand drew a possessive line down your back. This was it. This beast of a man would own you completely. Mesh his own soul with yours. And you wanted it so badly you ached.

His hips hit hard against you as his thrusts became impossibly stronger. The punishing rhythm he set made you feel as though you were being torn apart and put back together anew. His hand tangled in your hair, dragging you by a fistful up against his chest. He pressed his lips to your ear, his ragged breaths skimming pure bliss across your skin, causing your eyes to roll back behind closed lids.

“You are mine.”

His grunted proclamation built the burning intensity in your womb to a blazing inferno. Set fire to your soul. You doubted any other words could ever cause such passion to flame within you. But as his next words left his lips, you learned otherwise.

“I.”

His thrusts grew erratic. You felt him swell within you.

“Am.”

Your walls clutched him. The head of his cock slammed against your cervix.

“Yours.”

You fell apart. Fell to pieces. Your vision went white with ecstasy as you shuddered around him and screamed out your bliss.

His accompanying roar tore you asunder. He set his teeth into your neck as he came with a final slam of his cock into your abused hole. You could feel his hot seed spilling against your battered walls, soothing the delicious ache. Your trembling legs gave out below you and he eased you down to the fur-covered ground, collapsing beside you after he softened and pulled from you. You could feel his warm fluids dripping out of you and you shivered.

Syversson pulled you to him, turning you to rest your head against his heaving chest. His hand dipped down between your tremoring thighs and he ran his fingers through your gathered essence. A sigh escaped you as he touched you. Pulling his hand back up, he pressed his fingers against your lips, nudging them open. You laved your tongue around and between them, gathering every drop you could, sucking them clean. His softening manhood twitched at your actions and he groaned, pulling you up to kiss you. Your tongues danced around the taste of each other’s pleasure.

When he pulled away, you lay your head back down on him.

“Rest again now, yrsa. Tomorrow we begin the journey back to the great hall.”

His deep breaths had almost instantly soothed you into a near-slumber, but you had at least the energy to ask.

“And what will become of me when we get there?”

He closed his own eyes and smiled.

“We will go before the king, and I will make you my wife.”

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A million hugs and smooches to @thelastsock for betaing this for me.

(Dec 11, 2020)

#captain syverson #au #berserker

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leviathans-watching · 3 years

Note

hi there!! is it alright to request mc and luke sharing a bday type of family fluff?? mine was on the 10th and his own bday event popped up and i felt so happy that i (.. technically??) share a bday with someone!! if its alright with u ofc!!

MC & Luke birthday fluff

includes: luke & you, simeon & you, simeon & luke (gn!reader, no prns mentioned)

wc: .6k | rated g | m.list

a/n: happy late bday omg!! you're so lucky to share one w/ him!! thanks you for requesting!! my inbox is open to chat r leave feedback, but reqs are temporarily closed!!

pls reblog <3

You grinned as you responded to Simeon’s text about Luke’s birthday. once you had learned it was coming up you had thrown yourself into party planning, uncaring of the fact that it was your birthday too.

Sure, it was supposed to be a special day or whatever, but you were fine with lowkey well-wishes and would rather Luke be in the spotlight since he was so rarely the center of attention.

The angel was unaware of the party, of course, and you planned to keep it that way, hoping he wouldn’t be too upset no one seemed to be remembering his big day.

Your biggest helpers were Simeon and Solomon, with Diavolo not far behind. The brothers were less enthusiastic about helping prepare for the party, but you managed to convince them to at least help in some way, letting Simeon do most of the wrangling.

The pieces were all falling into place- the venue was secured, the food and cake ordered, the decorations bought, so you had little left to do. Simeon managed to convince you to let he and the others finish the rest of it, putting you on Luke managing duty.

Not that you minded that, of course.

The days slowly passed until it was the day of the party, and your job was to bring him to Diavolo’s, where the party was going to be held, at a certain time in the afternoon.

Distracting him was suspiciously easy. He all but jumped to agree to going out into town with you, sticking to your side like glue. You wished him a happy birthday and gave him a cupcake, hoping that would hold him over until he got to your real gift, which was somewhere in Solomon’s grasp.

The two of you killed time, having a good day, and when the time came you carefully made sure you were headed towards Diavolo’s. Luke seemed as eager as you were to get there and you wondered if he knew about the surprise party, all while crossing your fingers and hoping he didn’t.

it didn't take long to get to Diavolo’s, and when you arrived, Luke bounded up the steps, grin on his face.

Okay, he had to know about the party.

As you get to the door, it swings open on its own, revealing the foyer.

“Surprise!” Everyone shouts, and you see a large banner strung up, showing both you and Luke’s faces. What?

Luke seems to be as confused as you, and when Simeon walks up grinning, you’re ready to start up a barrage of questions.

“Isn’t this great?” he asks, clapping his hands. “You guys get a joining party!”

“But I planned MC’s party!” Luke says and you turn to him. \

“What? I was planning your party!”

Diavolo laughs, the sound bouncing around the room. “Simeon had the brilliant idea to have you plan each other's parties and combine them!”

“You did?” you ask. “But how?”

Simeon eyes the brothers. “Why do you think they switched their tune about helping once I talked to them? I had more than enough help.”

“Wo,” you say, turning to Luke, who’s looking at all of the decorations. “Well, what do you say? Want to enjoy this party?”

“Heck yeah!” Luke says, smile lighting up his face. “Happy birthday, MC.”

“Happy birthday, Luke,” you return, and Luke surprises you by quickly wrapping his arms around your waist, letting go just as fast when Solomon makes an obnoxious ‘aww’ing sound.

“Who wants cake?” Simeon asks into the silence “It was specially made by Barbatos.”

Needless to say, the cake, which was two tear, one dedicated to your favorite flavor, the other to Luke’s, was fantastic, as were all of the gifts.

But nothing could beat the happy little grin Luke wore through the whole thing, especially when you watched it grow every time he made eye contact with you.

leviathans-watching’s work - please do not repost, copy, or claim as your own

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xiaojusaur · 3 years

Text

7 Minutes in Heaven

Pairing: Friends to Lovers! Hendery x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Comedy

Warnings: car sex, fingering, squirting, dirty talking, multiple orgasms, mentions of masturbation, mentions of alcohol consumption.

Word Count: 6K

Description: Hendery was the new guy in class who didn’t know how to talk English well, that’s how you first start talking and then became good friends. You had a crush on him, but he didn’t know. Everything changed at a frat party; you shouldn’t have played 7 minutes in heaven with your friend.

You were accustomed to arrive early to the classroom because there was a certain desk you liked, plus you didn’t like being either too close or too far to the professor. Sometimes you really didn’t feel like paying attention, and today was one of those days.

On the way, you met with your best friend, but you couldn’t enroll in the same classes this semester, so she had to leave quickly.

When you got to the classroom, there was a new face and he was sitting on your favorite place. The shock froze you in place, he hadn’t noticed you were there as he was writing something down on his notebook and his dark mane was covering his face.

You decided to be nice and just sit on the desk on his left. When he was aware of your presence, he turned his head to you, your eyes meeting when you raised your glance. You smiled and he smiled back. He was cute. You both kept quiet until the rest of the classmates and the professor arrived.

“Class! We have a new student with us! Hendery, please say hello!” Your professor introduced the new guy to your right. He waved shyly. “Please be patient with him, he doesn’t know much English. He came all the way from Macau. If you guys see him struggling, please give him a hand,” your professor continued.

So that’s why he was so silent! He seemed so nice and you having a lot of empathy, could feel he was feeling anxious. It must’ve been hard not being able to communicate well.

The class continued and you were distracted with the fact that maybe Hendery couldn’t understand well what was being discussed. He looked so focused, you didn’t dare to interrupt him because maybe he was trying to do his best. So you waited for the class to be over and when he was about to leave, you stopped him.

“Hey, wait a minute!” You whisper-shouted.

He turned around and his face seemed to light up.

“Are you okay? Did you understand the class?” You asked him.

“Yeah, I tried my best,” he shrugged and then giggled.

You giggled with him and then said, “If you ever need help to understand something, just ask me, okay?”

“Alright! Thank you!” He seemed genuinely happy that you were willing to help him.

“Do you know anyone around?” you didn’t want him to be alone.

“Yeah, I have a friend. I will meet him now to get lunch,” he explained.

“That’s good!” You nodded.

“Do you want to join us?” He asked you.

“That’s alright! I’ll meet with my best friend too,” you answered.

“Oh okay, see you later then,” he was about to leave when he remembered he didn’t know your name. “Oh! Wait! What’s your name?”

“Y/N,” you smiled to him one last time before he nodded and left.

The months went on like that. Hendery occasionally came for help, he liked teaming up with your for group projects, and he even invited you to lunch a few times. You liked spending time together and slowly, he merged into your group of friends, bringing his group of friends also.

His English got better and better, he was almost and expert, even though he had a cute accent.

You found yourself having a huge crush on him, but you swore you would never tell him. For you, he was way out of your league, you weren’t his type, and you didn’t even know about his language, though he had tried several times to teach you some words and expressions.

“Hey!” He arrived to your apartment without notice to find you curled up in your sofa watching a movie.

“Hi! What’s up?” You said while checking your phone to see if he had texted you, finding an empty screen.

“So, tonight’s there’s this frat party from the frat house Yangyang is in, do you maybe wanna go?” He then smiled widely, trying to convince you.

“I don’t know... I’m not in the mood for partying today,” you replied while cuddling the cushion.

“Come onnn!” He flopped by your side on the couch, “Lyndsey is gonna be there! She’s gonna stalk me the whole night!” He groaned.

“Well, that’s your own fault! You dicked her down and she got addicted,” you shrugged, laughing at him later.

“Hey! I was in need!” He explained unnecessarily.

“You guys can’t last a week without pussy, that’s sad, you know,” you were mocking him.

“It’s in our nature, what can we do? Plus, how long has it been since you got laid?” He was smirking, trying to make fun of you.

“Shut up,” you pushed him playfully.

“So come on!!!! Let’s go to the frat party!” He started shaking you by the arm.

“Alright! Alright! Ugh! You’re so annoying!” You jumped to your feet and went to your room to change, your quick choice being a pair of jeans, a turtleneck shirt, a bomber college jacket, and some sneakers. You texted your best friend.

Hey! Are you going to that frat party?

Idk... are you?

Dery is making me go. Something about Lyndsey and stuff

Sucks. I can accompany you

Please! It’s possible he finds someone else and leaves me alone there surrounded by strangers

Fine, I’ll throw something on and see you there.

You got out of your room and Hendery was there, laying back on the couch while watching the TV. He looked so cute. You couldn’t believe you had a crush on him and he hadn’t noticed.

“We’re ready to go,” you announced and he looked at you from head to toe and back up. He catcalled you as a joke, “Look at my bestie gooo! She’s gonna seduce some men!”

You rolled your eyes and said, “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

“Fine, let’s go!”

At the party, you met with your best friend while Hendery went with his friends. Everyone was wilding, playing beer pong, dancing, drinking, making out on the corners.

You stayed by your friend’s side, dancing and drinking. Hendery found you in the crowd and started dancing with you too, after all, you were that comfortable with each other. He grabbed your hips and was grinding on you while you followed his hips. When the song finished he said he was gonna get more alcohol while you ran to your best friend again.

“Are you not gonna tell him ever?” She asked you, talking about your huge crush in Hendery.

“I don’t think I will. I mean, we’re okay as we are,” you shrugged. You didn’t want to lose his friendship and you thought that if you told him, everything would turn awkward, so you just decided to keep it to yourself.

As the night went by, people started to get sleepy, some passing out on the couches, others disappeared who knows where. Only a few were still alive and among them were Hendery, your friend, the infamous Lyndsey, and you. Someone had the bright idea of playing 7 minutes in heaven just for the sake of relieving high school memories, so you all sat on the floor in circle. Some random guy looked for an empty bottle that would choose the lucky couples. You were sitting across Hendery, who looked spaced out, probably drunk already and being stalked by Lyndsey. The poor girl’s eyes were shining with high hopes of getting a chance to be alone with Dery again. You were mocking him and he was acting annoyed.

As the game progressed, many random couples got to be locked in the darkness of the closet. Your friend matched with the very hot Jaehyun guy from English class but she didn’t spill anything. While you were teasing her, you heard Hendery’s name along with some noise by his friends. You were about to start mocking him too when you noticed the bottle was pointing at you.

You swear your surroundings froze in time. Your friend’s eyes widened because she knew how you felt. Hendery tho, was excited because after all, it was you and he wouldn’t feel so awkward.

“Aren’t you going?” Said the guy who had the control of spinning the bottle, Lyndsey looked at you and then to Hendery, expecting you to not go. Hendery actually helped you to stand up and basically dragged you into the closet with him. Before locking the door, the guy with the timer said, “Whatever you do, you have 7 minutes. Nothing more,” and with that, he left you two alone in the darkness of the closet.

You were holding into Hendery’s arms, maybe to know he was there, maybe as a support, or perhaps because you wanted to feel him close.

“Well, at least I’m saved from Lyndsey,” he laughed nervously.

“Yup, once again, I am your savior,” you remarked.

Being alone with Hendery wasn’t awkward usually, but there was some weird tension going on in the tiny space of the closet.

“What should we do?” He asked in a whisper, the air emitting from his lips blowing you right on the face because he was too close.

“I don’t know... talk? We’re friends, this isn’t weird,” you tried to convince yourself.

“I mean... yeah...”

“These had been the longest seven minutes of my life,” you stated.

“Let’s kiss, maybe that would make it less awkward and the time will go faster,” Hendery suggested and you swear the butterflies in your stomach made a tornado.

“You think kissing between friends is less awkward?” You asked confused.

“Well yeah, I mean, we’re friends. It shouldn’t be weird, it’s only a kiss,” he said, ignorant of your feelings for him.

“Okay then,” you agreed, “but let’s not allow this to make us awkward after, alright?”

“Promise,” he gave you his pinky to hook with yours.

In less than a second, his lips crashed on yours. You thought it was just gonna be a peck, but then he started moving his lips, and automatically, yours responded. His tongue darted between your lips, looking for yours to tangle with. Your arms snaked around his neck, while his wrapped around your waist, bringing you even more closer. Having him like this sparked the feeling inside you more: you were in love with this guy without remedy.

When you two were getting comfortable with it, you heard the alarm outside, indicating time was up. You detangled from each other, fixing your hair and your clothes to make it seem that nothing had happened. Everyone knew you two were best friends and to give the tiniest hint that you had done anything in there would be enough for your group of friends to start teasing you. When the door opened, you went on with your normal friendship and acted as if you haven’t kissed passionately a few minutes ago.

You were too overwhelmed, so you decided to leave with your friend. Hendery stayed. He was probably gonna crash in with the boys.

On the way back, your friend was telling you about her experience with Jaehyun, and then she remembered your time with Hendery.

“Did anything happen in there? You two looked pretty normal to me,” she inquired.

“Well... we kissed,” you shrugged.

“I knew it -wait what?!” She was shocked! “You kissed? As in a peck or-?”

“As in full tongue,” you nodded.

“Oh my God...... how do you feel?” She was concerned now.

“Like I’m in love... I feel like as soon as his lips touched mine, I was done, I completely fell in love with him,” you confessed.

“Oh no.... what you gonna do now?” She asked.

“Try to not be awkward and act as if it was nothing. Friends can kiss right?” You fake-smiled.

“No they cannot! Friends with benefits do... but I don’t think you’re there yet,” she scratched her neck.

“I’m fucked aren’t I?”

“Very...”

You tried avoiding Hendery until you felt better and collected your thoughts, but that was kinda impossible since he was everywhere and he looked for you everyday. So you did your best to not looked like you were having a turmoil of feelings every time you saw his stupid, beautiful face.

There you were, having lunch all together. He was talking about how he wanted to talk to a cute girl who was a few tables away. Your friend placed her hand on top of yours in silent support.

Honestly, you didn’t know what was up with you. He usually talked to you about his affairs with other females and you weren’t this affected, but today you were bothered by it. While his friends celebrated that he was going to get her number, you stood up and left with the excuse of having to study because of a test. Your friend followed you.

“I think you need to talk to him,” she suggested.

“I don’t know. I feel is going to be useless,” you grunted.

“Y/N, it has gotten to a point where you’re always fuming. He will start noticing your behavior soon if you keep this up, so my advice is that you two sit down and talk this out,” she stepped in front of you.

“There’s nothing to talk about! He doesn’t feel the same way I do. I’m the one trying to ruin our friendship,” you said as you threw your hands in the air in frustration.

“First of all, you don’t know that. Second of all, if you keep bottling it, you’re gonna explode and it’s going to be worse. And that’s not ruining a friendship, it’s only natural you like him. You spend time together, he knows you well, he brings you snacks...” Your friend was trying to talk reason back to you.

You whined, “But how am I supposed to tell him? I can’t just sit him down and tell him, ‘Listen, I have this huge crush on you, please love me back’, he’s a guy, he won’t understand.”

“Well, if he feels the same way he WILL understand,” she said matter-of-factly.

“That isn’t helping! Ughhh! I need to plan something... something that looks casual but it’s the right moment, you know what I mean?”

“How about... how about you invite him to watch a movie? That’s something you guys do often, right?” She suggested and you nodded. “You watch a movie, you have your snacks, you cuddle as you always do, and then you tell him. What do you think?” She wiggled her eyebrows and you laughed.

You gasped, “How do you know we cuddle? Are you spying on me?!”

“Come on, let’s be realistic. You two look like cuddly people,” she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah true... your plan sounds good. Imma try it. You’re the best! I don’t know how my life would be without you,” you embraced your friend in gratitude.

At night, you texted Hendery to start with your plan:

Hey, dumbhead

Sup, headache

Do you have plans on Friday night?

Not yet, 为什么？(weishenme - Why)

Why are you texting me in Chinese?! You know I don’t understand! I mean, I’m deducing that means why.

🤪🤪🤪

Anyways! What do you think if we watch that new movie on Netflix?

Sure, I’ll bring snacks

Kay

好！

Now that you had everything planned, you started thinking about what to say and how to say it. You couldn’t just shoot it.

A few hours later, when you were about to go to sleep, you received another text from Hendery. It said it had an image attached. It was strange but you decided to open it. And then regretted it.

Hendery had sent you a spicy picture. It wasn’t a nude but it was pretty suggestive. He was holding his member over his pants, as if to show how big he is without actually showing. Almost a dick pic.

You panicked, you were sure that wasn’t for you. A sudden jealousy took over you because, why was he sending these pics to someone else? But also, your friend-self told you to keep calm and let him know.

Wrong number! Dumbass! Look at the number before sending these kind of things!

He didn’t answer for a while, but then he appeared

I’m sorry!!! Oh God! I’m so embarrassed!

It’s all good. At least you’re not showing anything. My eyes aren’t bleeding yet!

I’m really sorry!

It’s okay! We’re friends...

And you left him with that.

Friday arrived and you were nervous already, waiting for Hendery in your apartment. Around 8PM he knocked on your door and you yelled “Come in!” Too lazy to get up from the couch. He looked comfy but so sexy at the same time.

Hendery brought a lot of snacks and placed them on the low table.

“I brought your favorites and mines, to fix your day!” He said excitedly.

You smiled and replied, “Thanks! I really appreciate it.”

“Let’s get to it!” He yelled and you shushed him laughing, he was so noisy and your neighbors would complain.

You were cuddled up with each other while watching the movie. You were leaning on his chest while he played with your hair with one hand and ate popcorn with the other. You felt his eyes on you, so you looked up and your eyes met. He smiled to you and you smiled back. You didn’t know if it was your imagination but you felt he was getting closer to your mouth. In your panic you didn’t move and opted to let it happen, maybe this was a sign that he liked you back. But then, his lips never touched yours and only centimeters away he said, “Haha, gotcha,” with a groggy voice.

You got angry and couldn’t conceal it anymore. So you got off the couch as quickly as possible.

“What’s wrong?” He asked confused.

The ticking bomb inside you snapped.

“What’s wrong?! You dare to ask me what’s wrong?! Hendery! You just pretended you were going to kiss me and then told me it was a joke!”

“Hey! Calm down! I thought it would be funny! Since you know, we kissed in the game as a joke” His eyes widening in concern.

“So the kiss was a joke to you?” You said crossing your arms tightly.

“I thought it was just a game, it didn’t mean anything,” he explained.

“It did to me!” You blurted, your mouth talking before you could think straight.

He froze and gulped, “What?”

“Nothing,” you turned around and walked to the kitchen.

“Y/N!” He walked behind you, “talk to me! You’re acting really strange lately. You’ve been avoiding me, you get angry about everything... what is wrong? What changed?”

You leaned on the counter, trying to find the correct words. “What changed is...” you gulped and then continued, “My feelings for you, Hendery. That changed.”

He was so puzzled. “I don’t understand...”

“Hendery, I’m in love with you,” you confessed, feeling a relief within you.

You looked at him, his eyes were alarmed, not quite the reaction you were expecting. “I- I- I don’t know what to say...” he stuttered.

“You don’t have to say anything, Hendery...” you muttered.

“I- I’ll be right back...” he walked slowly to the door and left without his things. He didn’t come back.

“Great Y/N, great! You just ruined your friendship,” you said to yourself, running your hands through your hair.

You cleaned your apartment and curled up in your bed, regretting everything you just did.

You two didn’t talk for a week straight, not daring to approach each other. Hendery went to Xiaojun for help because he felt he was losing you and he didn’t want that, but he felt bad for leaving you hanging that night. You were expecting an answer from him, but at that time, he didn’t think you were going to say what you said.

“This is simple, Hendery,” said Xiaojun while cooking something. “How do you feel about her?”

“I don’t know!!!” He whined, pulling his long strands of hair.

“I think you do know, you just don’t want to accept it,” Xiaojun chuckled. “You can be honest with me, you know.”

“Ughhh! Okay,” Hendery groaned. “I think I’m pretty accustomed to her as my best friend that I didn’t think I could actually like her. But now thinking about it well, I feel like my best self when I’m around her. I can be myself and she won’t judge me, she follows my weird behavior, she shares snacks with me...”

“Let me change the question a little bit,” Xiaojun interrupted, “the day of the party, how did you feel when you kissed?”

After thinking about it a little, Hendery answered, “I wanted to keep kissing her. I felt so comfortable in her arms. She’s a great kisser btw,” he drifted away.

“Focus!” Xiaojun yelled.

“Okay, okay! I don’t know, I feel like I would be able to tell if I see her again... but I don’t know how to go back to her,” he sighed.

“How about you do a non-date date, something simple like going for a late night drive,” Xiaojun suggested.

“You’re a genius!” Hendery exclaimed.

“I’m a romantic, which is different,” he pointed out.

It was 12AM on a Friday and you we’re already cuddled in your bed when there was a knock on your door. You threw a hoodie on, to not wear a bra just in case, and went to see who was it.

You felt like the air was punched out of you when you opened the door and saw Hendery’s figure. His hair was disheveled and he was wearing a cream-colored shirt, black joggers, and his glasses: the best look on him. “Hendery...” you said softly.

“Um... hi!” He smiled awkwardly, making him look so cute to you. “Listen, I know we haven’t talked this whole week and I didn’t have the best response to what you said and I’m sorry about that,” he was talking too fast.

“Hey... it’s okay,” you patted him on the arm. “You want to come in?”

“Actually, I came here for you. Do you want to go for a late night drive?” He was swinging, looking pretty nervous.

You sighed, “Do I have to change?”

“Not really, I mean, look at me,” he extended his arms and turned around. You giggled.

“Fine, let me get my shoes,” you ran to your room and put on the first sneakers you found and you both got in his car.

He was just driving around town, both of you being the old friends you were, singing loudly to the songs on the radio, laughing out loud, and watching the neon lights of the places that were open. He got down on a station to buy snacks for both and then kept going.

You ended up on a lonely hill with a view to the city lights. Sitting on the front of his car, you listened to Hendery talked about his life in Macau and what he missed. Then you were playing, trying to guess where were the places among the tiny lights at sight. Like magnets, you cuddled against each other without noticing; the night was getting cold after all. In the chit-chat, the clock marked 3AM. You got in the car again but Hendery didn’t started the car, instead he talked.

“Y/N... I’ve been thinking about what you told me.” There was a long silence between you two, so he continued, “I like the version of me when I’m with you. It’s so easy to not think about what to do or what to say, I can just speak my mind. I really appreciate you.”

“Same here, Dery,” you placed your hand on top of his, which was on his thigh.

“Im sorry for making you feel bad. I really didn’t think straight, I was in utter shock,” he apologized.

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have said that the way I did,” you accepted.

“So no hard feelings?” He asked, looking at you now.

“No hard feelings,” you smiled.

But then the air changed between you two. A force was drawing you together and neither of you stopped it. Your lips touched, sparking the flame inside you again. And like that, Hendery knew he loved you too, because the butterflies in his stomach wouldn’t stop dancing. His hand traveled to the back of your head, holding you softly. He pulled back first, mumbling, “I’m sorry, is this okay?”

“Only if it’s okay with you,” you whispered.

“I love you,” he muttered before kissing you again, this time deepening the kiss. Your arms quickly wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer. It turned to a passionate make out session and you were gasping for air. You smiled because you were kissing your best friend and Hendery smiled because you looked so cute.

“Should we take this to the backseat?” He suggested with a groggy voice.

“Here? Right now? Really?” You joked.

“I’m sorry! I’m desperate for you,” he shrugged. He jumped first, to lean the seat back for more space. Conveniently he had some sheets there. Then he beckoned you with his hands, inviting you to jump with him. You did as told but your foot got stuck on the front seat so you landed flat over him. You both started laughing at your disgrace but then started kissing wildly again.

He rolled over so you were under him. He fitted perfectly between your legs, as if you were made for him. Quickly, clothes started to be bothersome and he took off your hoodie. Then, Hendery’s hands ran underneath your shirt, reaching your breasts. He squeezed them and then started playing with your hardened nipples, rolling them between his fingers. Soon enough, he asked you, “Can I take this off?” Pulling your shirt. You simply responded, “Please.” He also took off his, revealing his beautiful body and threw both of your shirts to the front seat. One of his hands ran down your body, feeling all of you while he enjoyed your lips. You sighed in satisfaction, feeling yourself getting wetter with every touch and each kiss.

Hendery knew when to start touching you and he asked for your consent, “Can I touch you?”

“Please Dery, I’m so wet already,” you said in a needy whisper.

He groaned in response, his fingers not loosing time in snaking inside your shorts. First he touched you over your underwear and then he slipped inside your panties, finding your clit easily. “Oh my god,” you said in a breathy murmur.

“Fuck... you’re so wet,” he hissed. He took out his hand to pull down your pants and underwear, all in one go, helping you shimmy out of them. After all, none of this was being awkward between you, you felt comfortable with each other. Once he had you all at his mercy, he kissed your neck, his mouth going down and down while his hand went to your south. His lips enclosed your nipple at the same time his fingers got between your folds. God! He was so skilled! Your hand played with his hair while his did unholy thing to you.

He sticked his middle finger in you, going in and out, then he added his ring finger and started moving them fast and deep inside, making you whine. “Fuuuuck! Dery! Feels so good!”

He let go of your nipple with a pop, “You like my fingers, baby? Yeah?” His voice was lower than usual and breathier, it had your head spinning.

“Ooh! Yeah, I love them,” you cried and kissed him. You could hear the squelching sound coming from between your legs. You couldn’t believe Hendery was the one making a mess of you.

You felt your orgasm bubbling inside you, “Hendery I’m gonna cum,” you said in a high-pitched whimper.

“You wanna cum on my fingers? Do you like them that much?” He panted.

“Mmmm! Yes!” You moaned.

“Come on, baby, let go,” he commanded you and started thrusting his fingers faster.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you said in a shattered chant and then you felt the delicious tingles all over your body, your eyes rolled back, and your back arched. Something unusual happened this time: strands of water gushed out of you and your legs started to shake. You cried loudly loosing all control of your body. Hendery was amazed of what he just did, “Shit! So hot!”

You, on the other hand, were embarrassed. “Oh god... I’m so sorry...” you hid on the crook of his neck.

“It’s okay, that was so hot! I’ve never achieved that. Did you know you could do that?” He caressed your hair in assurance.

“No... it’s the first time that happens...” you whined in embarrassment.

“Baby, it’s okay,” he chuckled, “wanna know something? I’m harder now.”

“Deryyy!” You gasped.

“Can you take it?” He hummed.

“I can take all of you,” you smirked.

“So naughty, I like it,” he pecked your lips and proceeded to kneel in front of you, all bended to avoid smashing his head with the hood. He slipped his pants off easily, along with his briefs, his hardened cock springing free. Your mouth watered at the sight, the tip so pink, shinning with wetness, all ready to take you.

You opened your legs, inviting him, you couldn’t wait for him to be inside you.

He hissed when seeing your still wet core, “Fuck, I could’ve beat that long time ago,” to which you laughed. “Well, you decided to keep boundaries.”

“You’re my best friend, wasn’t it going to be weird?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe?” You shrugged.

“I’m a man, you know. I’m weak. Do you think I didn’t wish to rearrange your insides some of those nights where we cuddled in your couch? It took the best of me to calm this little guy,” he grabbed his length. You burst out laughing.

“Are we really having this conversation when you’re about to wreck me?” You rolled your eyes.

“You started it!” He complaint.

“Oh, shut up and fuck me,” you taunted.

“Condom or no condom?” He asked.

“Wrap your weiner, I don’t know where you have sticked that thing in,” you commanded him.

“I’m clean! I always protect myself, who do you take me for?! I offered myself since I trust you as my best friend, but okay. And don’t call him a thing! He has a name!” he sounded so offended.

“Oh my god! Don’t take it personal! Maybe in the future I’ll let you fuck me raw,” you winked, “but for now, let’s do it this way.”

“Alright,” he said as he looked for his wallet in the pocket of the pants he just discarded. Finding the tiny foil square was fast and he was even faster rolling it down his shaft.

“Come here,” he pulled you closer by your legs, making you laugh. This whole adventure had been a fun ride for both of you.

He kissed you passionately again, one of his hands ran to your leg, bending it a little to have better access to your entrance. He then hold his length, rubbing the tip up and down your pussy, teasing you, making you bite your lip. You were shaking in anticipation.

He pushed himself in slowly, both of you moaning. “Mmm, 操! (cào - Fuck), you’re so tight for me, baby,” his said in a shaky whisper.

He went as deep as he could, making you feel so full. “Hendery,” you breathed, “I feel so full.”

“Yes baby, I’m gonna make you feel so good,” he assured you in hoarse groan.

He kept thrusting you slowly, passionately, enjoying every inch of you. The car was full of shaky breaths, low moans, occasional grunts, and the sound of kisses. Never in your life you thought you would share such an intimate moment with Hendery, but you were loving every second of it.

“Can I go faster?” He asked softly.

“Yes please,” you pleaded.

Hendery caged you in his arms and started snapping his hips faster. His lips whispered filthy praises in your ear, adding up to your want for him, “So good, your cunt feels so warm baby, wanna fill you up with my cum. Do you want that? Yeah? Mmmm... Making love to you feels so nice. I love you, I love you, I love you. This is the only pussy I wanna fuck for the rest of my life.”

Your hands hugged him back, running all his back, tangling in his hair, he had you crazy for him with every word. If you weren’t out of breath, you replied to his words with moans and mewls. “Mmmf! Hendery! Fuck! I love you so fucking much! Please keep fucking me, it feels so good!”

A few minutes later he panted, “I’m gonna cum.” He tried to go faster and he drove his hand south, finding your bundle of nerves skillfully. He was drawing circles while pummeling into you fast, making your second orgasm arrive with force, tightening around him. A sharp scream left your throat and you hugged him tightly. Hendery came with a guttural growl, “Ughhh! So good!” You could feel him pumping in you while he filled the condom.

When you both could breathe again, he embraced you and peppered you with kisses, making you giggle. “How are you feeling, my love?” He smiled.

“I like the sound of that coming from your lips,” you cuddled with him. He sighed, satisfied with the thought that you were his and he was yours.

“Then I will call you that all day just to see you happy,” he kissed you on the forehead.

“You’re my happiness,” you purred.

“I love you, I really do,” he confessed.

“I love you too, Dery,” you raised your head to kiss his lips.

“Do I need to pop the question or are we clear?” He joked.

“Imma torture you and make it pop it,” you chuckled beaten.

“Would you be my girlfriend?” He asked confidently.

“I’d love to,” you replied.

After a moment of silence, Hendery suggested, “Up for round two?”

“Oh my god, you’ll be the death of me if your sex drive is this high,” you sighed.

“My sex drive with you will always be high. Imagine having to hide your boner for so many years and then finally getting the pussy of your dreams?” He was such a character.

“Stop!! That is not true” you shoved him with your elbow.

“Not true?! Do you wanna know how many times I masturbated after arriving home from our movie nights?!” He could be brutally honest sometimes.

“You masturbate?” You wanted to see him snap.

“Listen, Y/N, if I didn’t, my dick would’ve fallen off by now because holy fuck! I wanted to rail you so bad!”

You just exploded in laughs. He really was the man you loved.

“How many rounds can you make?” You asked him.

“I have a whole box of condoms to use with you. You decide,” he shrugged.

“So that’s 3?” You jeered.

“Very funny,” he said sarcastically.

The car kept rocking, the windows were fogged and Hendery almost could last till dawn making love to you. The rest of the night became an orgasm feast for you two.

You fell asleep, beaten thanks to the activities. When you woke up, the sky was painted in pastel colors, announcing dawn. You were wrapped under the sheets, naked with Hendery, on the back of his car.

You looked at him, he looked so cute sleeping soundlessly, you didn’t want to wake him up, but the sun was about to rise and you were away from the city.

“Baby,” you whispered softly.

“Hmm?” He hummed, as if asking what was wrong.

“Baby, I’m cold and the sun is rising,” you explained.

“Mmm... really?” His sleepy voice was making your head spin.

“Yes my love, we should go home. We can continue sleeping at my apartment if you want,” you suggested.

He yawned, “but then I’ll have to make love to you again because I want to be like this with you.”

You giggled, he was so cute talking while sleepy. You kissed his cheek. “We can just get naked and sleep.”

“It’s not the same,” he groaned. Hendery sat and stretched, then, he passed you your clothes.

You guys bought breakfast on the way home, you ate it and then went back to sleep. You spent the majority of the day in bed watching series, glad that you belonged to each other now.

#neosmutcollective #kwritersworldnet #ksmutclub #fanfic #nct smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios #wayv smut #wayv #wayv scenarios #hendery #hendery wayv #hendery smut #huang guanheng #nct fluff #wayv fluff #friends to lovers

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finalgoob · 3 years

Note

Okay but drop your Obikin fic recs my fren (I am slowly rereading Return to the Point of No Return by cthene and wicked thing by imaginarykat)

RUBS HANDS TOGETHER LIKE FRUIT FLY

i'll try to keep this short because the quality of works in the tag is insane and if i didn't limit myself we'd be here all day!!!!

wonderterror by peradi (6k, 3/3) summary: Anakin Skywalker is the son of the Force. He’s half human and half something monumental. What does that make his children? The Skywalkers aren't entirely human. Here's what that means. comments: genius concept, and really beautiful writing! it also has anidala, as a heads up!

Second Chances by Driverpicksthemooseic (120k, 42/42) summary: Leia wasn't convinced inviting evil incarnate to join them in fighting the Empire was exactly one of Obi-Wan's brightest ideas.(The De-Aged!Fic, because someone had to.) comments: one of my favourite fics of all time no cap... worth that 120k word count

I myself have torn myself to shreds by iiscos (6k, 1/1) summary: The Force whispers in its ageless voice, its touch peaceful and lulling against Vader’s ancient soul, “Tell me your biggest regrets.” Or the five times Anakin traveled back in time with the intention of making things better, and the one time that it actually worked. comments: this one's short but a DOOZY... the last part made me tear up fr <3

When the Abyss Stares Back at You by l_tales (48k, 16/16) summary: Pre-ROTS. Obi-Wan and Anakin are sent to investigate the sighting of a Sith Anakin, who appears to be in a relationship with an older version of Obi-Wan. comments: this is a classic, but i only got around to reading it recently!! but it's worth all the hype, the plot is incredible!!

where every mask cracks by l_tales (23k, 7/7) summary: Four years after the birth of the Galactic Empire, Obi-Wan approaches Darth Vader with an offer he doesn't expect. comments: a direct sequel to the last chapter of when the abyss, but it can stand alone too!! really love how obi-wan was developed in this one!!

Through a Glass, Darkly by glimmerglanger (49k, 3/3) summary: The one where Anakin gets lost in a universe that isn't... quite right and has to find his way home. comments: clearly ive been on a sith au binge lately and this is as good as it gets tbh <333

Hourglass by BeanieBaby (69k, 16/19) summary: Obi-Wan finds himself back on Tatooine after his encounter with Darth Vader in the Death Star. Qui-Gon lives and becomes Anakin's master. Some things change and others do not. Time-travel Fix-it. comments: SLOOOOOOOW BURN. i'm rly sad it hasnt been updated since last year, but it's still worth a read!!

you knock me out, i fall apart by crayonballet (65k, 11/?) summary: non-linear moments in the lives of the skywalker clan. aka: the one where anakin was a sith lord for literally an hour, everyone is alive, and they're actually happy comments: FLUFFY PALATE CLEANSER for the utter angst of everything else :D i love me an obianidala domestic au<33

#i love making fic rec lists thank u fir <33 #j-button #ask tag #obikin #fic recs

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valdomarx · 3 years

Text

Entry, Descent and Landing

Stargate Atlantis, McKay/Sheppard, time loop, 6k, rated M

Also on AO3

“The gate’s not working,” Rodney huffs, entering the mess with a scowl on his face. He's clearly personally offended by this turn of events.

“Eh, I’m sure you’ll fix it.” John currently has more pressing issues to consider, like whether he can reasonably have fruit loops for lunch or whether he should eat some vegetables like an adult.

He picks up the fruit loops.

“I’m serious!” Rodney is all fidgety, talking and waving his hands instead of eating, and that’s never a good sign. “There’s something very wrong with it, and I have no idea why.”

John raises an eyebrow. It’s not often that McKay admits there’s something he doesn’t understand. And without the gate, they are vulnerable.

Regretfully, he puts the fruit loops back. “Alright. Why don’t you show me what the problem is?”

The gate will accept an address, and it spins and dials as normal. But when it should open a wormhole with a whoosh and a ripple of blue light, it simply stops dead. The lights fade out and it shuts itself off.

Huh.

“It’s been like this since we tried to dial New Athos for a check in.” A frown creases Rodney’s forehead. “Hand me that scanner, will you?”

They spend the day poking and prodding at the gate and the control consoles - or, more accurately, Rodney pokes and John swings his legs off the side of the console and provides unhelpful but, he thinks, amusing commentary - but there’s nothing to indicate a problem. No fried circuits, no missing components, none of the usual error warnings which appear when the gate runs into a problem. It just… doesn’t work.

They work through the afternoon, and by the time eight p.m. rolls around John is ready to call it a night and start again tomorrow. But before he can suggest they get some dinner, the gate whirs to life and begins to dial.

“Did you do that?” he asks Rodney, but he already knows the answer is no by the look of confusion on Rodney’s face.

The gate spins as if to dial but it doesn’t connect. It merely sits there, illuminated but inactive, and then -

John wakes up in his quarters.

That’s weird. He’s disoriented, and woozy, and he feels a headache creeping at the back of his skull.

He shakes it off. He probably just needs some food. He heads to the mess and is sitting down to eat when -

“The gate’s not working,” Rodney huffs.

John squints at him. “Again?”

“What do you mean, again?” Rodney waves him aside impatiently. “There’s something very wrong with it, and I have no idea why.”

A cold chill settles at the bottom of John’s stomach. “I know, Rodney. We had this conversation yesterday.”

“What are you talking about? Of course we didn’t. The gate only stopped working today.”

Rodney insists that he has no memory of the gate breaking, and neither does anyone else they talk to. It's like the previous day has simply disappeared.

The more he insists that he remembers it, the more Rodney turns from dismissive to concerned, until he marches him down to see Carson and okay, that's not the worst idea under the circumstances.

Carson checks him over, determines he's physically fine, and tells him it's probably just déjà vu. But that can't be right. It was so real.

Rodney keeps shooting him these worried looks, and that's definitely not helping. So he brushes it off and suggests they get back to fixing the gate. It is, after all, still broken.

They spend another few hours on that, opening up the consoles in the gate room and looking for any faulty hardware. Soon enough it's dinner time, and he's going to suggest heading to the mess when the gate spins up again, and oh shit -

He wakes up in his quarters. He frantically scrambles for his watch and sees that it reads two p.m.

This is definitely not déjà vu.

He heads straight to the gate room. The gate techs are antsy.

"Sheppard, you're here, good." Rodney enters, a tablet tucked under one arm. “We've got a problem. The gate’s not working."

They try to fix the gate again, with no more success than the last two attempts. John keeps checking his watch.

Maybe it's different now. Maybe he's changed enough to stop the day repeating.

At exactly right p.m., his sunny, perhaps delusional, optimism is shattered.

The gate starts dialing.

He wakes up in his quarters.

He sends Rodney off to consult with Zelenka and takes matters into his own hands.

He tries everything he can think of to dial the gate - dialing different addresses, dialing it at different times, even removing and replacing the control crystal in his famed “turn it off and turn it on again” approach to computer repair - but nothing works.

He tries taking a puddle jumper and flying out to the mainland, and into space, and as far around the planet as he can get. No matter how far he travels, at exactly eight p.m. he resets and wakes up back in his quarters.

Six hours is simply not enough time to solve whatever the hell is going on here

He tries explaining his situation to Elizabeth, to Teyla and Ronon, to Lorne, to Carson. Even when people are willing to entertain the notion of a time loop, no one knows how to address the problem, let alone suggest a solution. At best, they seem to be humoring him. At worst, they seem to think it’s his apparently inevitable slide into paranoia.

After trying everyone on the base he has even a passing relationship with, he gives up telling anyone. They can’t help him.

He overrides the city’s power usage limits and tries to dial up Earth. The gate still won’t dial, and he overloads the ZPM, and the entire city is plunged into darkness.

He wakes up in his quarters.

He used to love it here, his own little corner of the strange place that is his home. Now it feels like a prison.

He tries to make contact with the Athosians, or with the Manarians, or even with the Genii. But without the gate, his radio transmissions will take years to reach them. He sits by the radio anyway, listening to the crackling static and waiting for a reply he knows will never come.

Maybe he's trapped in a virtual reality, or his mind is being probed by aliens. It wouldn't be the first time.

Maybe none of this is real.

He stands on one of the city’s most distant piers, staring out into the ocean. It’s quiet here, now he’s turned off his radio and tweaked the lifesigns detector so it can’t track him. He watches the waves, the same today as they were yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. He considers his options.

He puts a gun to his temple and counts down from five.

He wakes up in his quarters.

He bangs on the lab door and tries one more time to convince Rodney to help him.

“A time loop is not impossible,” he grits out. “It happened at the SGC.” He knows Rodney has read the file.

“That’s because there was an Ancient artifact involved.” Rodney sounds haughty. “Have you touched any strange Ancient artifacts recently, Colonel?”

John breathes between clenched teeth and shakes his head.

“So. Time just spontaneously started resetting itself, did it?”

“How should I know? All I know is that I have woken up in my quarters a hundred times by now, and every day at eight p.m. the loop resets itself.”

“Why are you the only one this is happening to?”

“I don’t know!” he yells. “I have no idea what terrible sin I’m being punished for here! I’ve made my share of mistakes in my life, but nothing that deserves this.”

Rodney stops moving and looks at him -- really looks.

“Jesus, Sheppard.” Rodney’s brow creases. “You’re not okay, are you?”

John slumps. He can’t summon the energy to deny it. “Not even remotely.”

For some reason, this seems to be what pushes Rodney into taking him seriously. He nods, once, sharply. “What can I do to help?”

He looks at his watch. It’s ten minutes to eight.

“Tell me a secret,” he says.

Rodney gives him a disdainful look. “What is this, a tween girls’ slumber party?”

He grits his teeth. “I spent the entire day trying to convince you what’s happening to me is real. I don’t have time to do that every loop. I need you to tell me something no one else knows, so next time I can convince you I’m not crazy or playing around and we can fix this.”

He sees Rodney’s mind working. He can tell he knows John is right and he’s considering options of what to tell him: details about his childhood, his research, his time here on Atlantis, and discarding each one. For all his faults, Rodney does not dissemble. His life is an open book, and for this to work John needs to know something truly private.

“Alright,” Rodney says eventually. He tilts his chin up and straightens his shoulders like he’s bracing himself for incoming fire. “When I was fifteen, there was a boy at school a couple of years older than me. His name was Mikey Haynes.”

“Have you touched any strange Ancient artifacts recently, Colonel?” Rodney asks with the same look of superiority he always has. “Because that’s the only way-”

“McKay,” he interrupts.

“- and why would you be the only one affected, that doesn’t make sense-”

“Rodney!”

Rodney stops. Something in the tone of his voice has broken through.

“I know about Mikey Haynes,” he says.

Rodney goes very pale and John can feel the anxiety radiating off him in waves.

“How do you know that name?” his voice is barely above a whisper.

“Because you told me, Rodney. In the last loop.”

For a few seconds Rodney stares at him, eyes wild and arms wrapped protectively around his chest. Eventually he gives one, sharp nod.

“Alright. You’re stuck in a time loop. What are we going to do about it?”

He has that conversation with Rodney every single loop. It is, without exception, the worst part of each one. Even feeling himself die wasn’t this awful.

He and Rodney have run every test they can think of. He’s been subjected to medical tests and genetic tests, they’ve scanned him for nanites and viruses and alien mind control, and they’ve turned up nothing. He is, by all accounts, completely healthy -- other than the fact he’s reliving the same six hours over and over and over and over.

“Maybe the problem isn’t with me,” he says. He chews over the idea and it seems plausible. “Maybe the problem is with the city.”

“What?”

“What if I’m not the one being looped through time? What if you are, and I’m the only one who’s aware of it?”

“So you’re sane and everyone else is crazy?”

“Yes.” He folds his arms over his chest. “Maybe my ATA gene gives me some protection against the effect, I don’t know.”

“Your magic genetics strike again.”

He ignores the griping. “If I’m right, the problem is even worse than I thought. The whole city, even the whole planet could be stuck in the loop. What’s happening to our allies while we’re stuck? How far have the Wraith advanced across this galaxy without us to keep them in check.”

Rodney swallows, the gravity of the situation finally hitting him.

“There must be a clue in the city sensors,” he says, pushing bits of drone aside to access the whiteboard in his lab. “If the reset is at the same time, there might be a preceding energy burst we can detect.”

“What good will that do?” John is too tired to think straight. “I know when the loop is going to reset.”

“Because if we know what type of energy it is, we can understand what’s causing it.”

John throws up his hands. Sure, why not. It's not like he's in a hurry or anything.

Rodney pokes through the sensor data, making little hmm noises which he finds unreasonably aggravating.

“See!” Rodney has his smuggest expression on, the one that simultaneously says I told you so and I know you find me charming. “Here, just before the gate failed to connect, there’s a small anomaly in the readings. It looks like… Interesting. It looks like ionizing radiation.”

“What does that mean?”

Rodney’s brow creases. “I’m not sure. There’s a spike of gamma and X-rays as the gate tries to connect. But I have no idea what the source is.”

John barely has time to let out a frustrated breath before the loop resets.

He hurries back to Rodney’s lab and points him to the sensor data.

“Interesting,” Rodney says again. “It looks like ionizing radiation.”

John exhales. “Yeah. You said that last time.”

He doesn’t need to eat, or sleep. His body resets with every loop. And yet, his mind has frayed. He hasn’t rested in so long, his thoughts are a jumbled mess.

He takes a loop off. He goes to the gym and spars with Ronon. His muscles are fresh but his strategy is a disaster; Ronon unsurprisingly wipes the floor with him. All the same, it feels good to stretch and move; to worry about avoiding a flying elbow instead of his sorry fate for a while.

Then he has dinner with Teyla. He doesn’t know how many loops it’s been since he ate, and even though he doesn’t need the sustenance he realizes he has been missing the sensory experience of it, and the camaraderie of a shared meal.

He tells Teyla about the time loop, casually, like it’s not a big deal, and she doesn’t seem convinced he’s telling the truth but she doesn’t dismiss the possibility out of hand either, and he loves her for that.

“If that were the case,” her head tilts to one side, thoughtful, “it would be a kind of opportunity, would it not?”

He squints. Nothing about this feels opportune.

“If time were to always reset itself, you could do anything you wish, without having to consider the consequences.” She shrugs. “Many have wished for such a chance.”

Huh. He never thought about it that way before.

Next loop, he steals a jumper and takes it for a joyride, zipping away from Atlantis and out into the solar system.

He pulls a reckless slingshot maneuver around the third planet out and is sent hurtling toward the star at the heart of the system, traveling so fast the jumper shakes and rattles even with the inertial dampeners. Elizabeth screams at him over the comms and he flips them off.

He approaches the sun at breakneck speed and the temperature in the cabin begins to rise. He swoops low into the sun’s corona, arcs of plasma leaping up around him, even more wild and ferocious than he expected. The sensors scream out warnings about hull temperature and radiation levels and he ignores them, absorbed in the way the jumper dives and banks.

He plunges closer, seeing the star’s surface bubble and erupt, then pulls up in a wild loop and swings down closer still: through the corona and into the chromosphere, the space around him transformed into wild hues of pink, shot through with filaments of white hot gas which snap and twist around him.

In the moment before the jumper is destroyed, as alarms blare and the air rushes out through cracks in the hull, his vision is filled with the surface of the sun. It is entrancing, covered in cells of red and orange and yellow, molten and changing and blindingly, blindingly bright.

He records a message for his father and uploads it to the queue to be sent back to Earth. “Dad,” he begins. “I want you to tell you something, something I’ve been meaning to say for a long time. From the very bottom of my heart: Go fuck yourself.”

He knows it’ll be heard by the gate techs, if not the entire expedition. That somehow makes it even more satisfying.

He finds Cadman.

“You’re an explosives expert, right?”

“Technically it’s high temperature and energetic materials technology,” she grins, “but close enough.”

“Awesome. Where do you keep the good stuff?”

She raises an eyebrow.

“You know. The really fun explosives they don’t let the field teams use.”

“Oh, that good stuff. Right this way.”

They spend an afternoon testing the structural integrity of the city’s farthest piers (not as good as you might think), seeing what happens when you strap C4 to a naquadah generator (an extremely large explosion), and enjoying the simple pleasures of tossing prototype grenades into the ocean (the water sprays rainbows across the sky as it is thrown miles into the air, and it falls on them like rain as they laugh).

Cadman barely needs any convincing.

He tells Lorne that he’s gay. Lorne doesn’t miss a beat.

“Yes, sir,” he says, entirely unperturbed. “I figured.”

He leaves a message for Nancy.

He tells her he’s sorry, that he knows he was a bad husband, that it wasn’t fair the way he treated her. He tells her that she deserved better, that he wishes her well, that he hopes she’s happy, and he means it.

He feels lighter the moment he's finished. He wonders why he never did this before the loop.

He’s struck by a genius idea, and he busts open a few locks and drags the ascension machine out of storage. Sure, it nearly killed Rodney, but maybe he’ll get lucky. Nothing to lose at this point, right?

The moment the light envelops him, he knows he’s made a terrible mistake.

Within minutes his skin is peeling away to reveal hard, blue scales beneath. The sunlight becomes unbearable. He turns the lights out and feels his way by sound instead.

He doesn’t remember much beyond that. There are only brief flashes in his mind: cold metal beneath his claws, horrified screams reverberating in a corridor, the effortlessness of scuttling up the side of a tower, the crunch of bones cracking between his mandibles.

He locks himself in his quarters for a few loops after that.

After a while his guilt is outweighed by his boredom. He picks up the guitar that has been primarily decorative thus far and learns to play Folsom Prison Blues.

Time keeps dragging on, indeed.

Eventually, as seems to be inevitable, he ends up coming back to Rodney.

"Sheppard." Rodney gives him a quick nod. "What can I do for you?"

There are a million answers to that question, and none of them are appropriate for work.

He considers the juxtaposition: Rodney's cool greeting with the way he's bouncing on the balls of his feet, all coiled excitement and nervousness. That's how Rodney often is around him, now he thinks about it.

Is it interest or intimidation? Fondness or annoyance? He's never been good at parsing emotions, and that's been a frequent source of frustration. Now it's particularly acute.

"You want some coffee?" Rodney offers, like an olive branch. "I'm sure we've got a clean mug around here somewhere."

John does not want coffee.

How many times has he thought about this? Too many to count. And how many more chances will he have?

What the hell, he thinks. Teyla was right. He'll never get a better opportunity than this.

He steps forward and puts a tentative hand around the back of Rodney's neck. He hears his breath catch. He rubs the soft hair there between his fingers, watches the blush rise on his cheeks. It's an enticing look.

Slowly, carefully, he leans in and kisses him, uncertain even though he knows the loop will reset, because this is bigger than some silly irresponsible behavior; this is him putting his heart in Rodney's fidgety hands and hoping against hope it won't be crushed.

For a moment Rodney freezes, and John is already formulating frantic apologies when Rodney mouths, "Oh god, finally," against his lips and wraps his arms around his shoulders, yanking him closer and kissing him hot and hard.

It's easy as anything to slip his hands under Rodney's thighs and to lift him onto the workbench, even while Rodney attempts to distract him by unbuttoning his shirt and biting a line along his collar bone.

He fucks Rodney over the bench in his lab, and next time on a balcony overlooking the city, and after that on Elizabeth’s desk. He learns every inch of his body; the soft plump of his thighs, the way he likes to be jerked off nice and slow, the sensitive patch of skin behind his ear.

For loops and loops, he does nothing else. Rodney never turns him down, not once. No matter where he is or what he’s doing, he’ll drop everything to be with him, and John has no idea what to make of that.

(Yes he does, but it's too big and too terrifying to look at directly, so he puts it aside.

It can wait. He has nothing but time.)

The first time he gets Rodney to fuck him, he bursts into fat, ugly tears afterwards and Rodney wraps a blanket around him and pets his hair. They stay like that for hours, Rodney holding him and for once not speaking, letting the waves of need and desperation and loneliness ebb and flow as they will, giving the simple comfort of his presence.

Sometimes he tells him about the loop, sometimes not. It doesn’t seem to make much difference to Rodney. Even when he explains nothing, just walks up to him and kisses him, Rodney kisses him back just as hungrily as ever.

And when they’re not fucking, they’re talking. He learns that Rodney has always wanted to learn to paint. He misses his cat (no, really. It’s not funny.) The one person on the base he is most afraid of is Elizabeth, because he secretly suspects she might be smarter than he is.

John tells him about why he doesn’t talk to his family, and about how out of place he always felt in the military. That he likes turkey sandwiches because they’re what his college roommate made for him when he first left home and had to learn to get by on not much money.

Each day, he learns more about Rodney and shares more about himself. And then the loop resets, and he has to walk into the lab and see Rodney regard him coolly and say, “Sheppard,” like that’s all they are to each other.

He misses him, and that sounds insane because he's spent practically every waking hour with the man for what must have been weeks. But he is moving forward and Rodney is staying still. Every time the loop resets, they drift further apart.

He stops sleeping with Rodney.

He gets back to work.

He pulls up the city sensor data and brings it to the lab.

“Here, look. You said before there was a radiation spike.”

Rodney drums his fingers against the tablet. “Yeah, there is. And it looks,” he squints, “sort of familiar.”

“What could cause that?”

“A million things. Radioactive materials. Black holes. Coronal mass ejections. Lightning, if there’s enough of it.”

“Wait, wait wait.” Something important scratches at his mind. “Coronal mass ejections, as in, from stars?”

“Yes. The magnetic fields inside a star shift as material moves in its interior, and when a prominence is formed and collapsed, the star releases a burst of plasma.”

He snaps his fingers. “That’s it! The sun in this solar system, we know it’s periodically unstable, right? And it’s even more active than usual right now.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

He thinks of the arcs of plasma he saw as he dove the jumper into the sun’s corona and decides against trying to explain that. “It’s not important. But we know the stargate has sent Earth teams through time when the wormhole passed too close to a coronal mass ejection, right? What if our stargate had the same problem?”

“That might send whoever was traveling through the gate through time, but it wouldn’t make time loop.” A light flickers in Rodney’s eyes. “Oh! Oh! Unless that’s why the gate failed. It tried to send an outgoing wormhole at the exact moment that the sun’s activity peaked. When the wormhole hit the coronal mass ejection, it bounced back to its origin, carrying its energy with it. And that would mean…” He taps frantically at his tablet. “Right! That spike of radiation is the effect of the outgoing and incoming wormholes colliding, forming a resonance wave. All that energy is forming ripples which must be throwing us through spacetime.”

“Great! So can you fix it?”

Rodney blinks. “I’m not even sure I can model what’s happening, let alone fix it. The mathematical equations alone will be weeks of work.”

“We don’t have weeks, Rodney. We have -” he checks his watch, “- just over half an hour before the loop resets and we lose everything.”

Despair starts crawling up his spine, but he shouldn’t have underestimated the sheer stubbornness of Rodney McKay.

“Well then.” Rodney sits him down and shoves a notebook and pen into his hands. “Looks like you’re going to have to learn some math and help me to remember.”

This is his routine now: Wake up in his quarters, run to the lab, talk Rodney through the problem as fast as he can, get lectured on astrophysics and mathematical modelling until he feels like his head is going to explode, repeat.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

He gets the basics down quickly but there are still pages and pages of math for them to solve, and nowhere close to enough time to figure it out in one loop. So he learns, and remembers, and does his best to save himself.

Rodney explains it well when he’s not being a jerk, and John starts to understand why he likes this work.

He hasn’t done this much math since college, and it’s not as awful as he remembers. There’s a kind of beauty to it, actually, a balance of all the relevant variables quantified and described, their relationships mapped into symbols and equations, the logically clarity of a necessarily true fact.

“See, this variable here, this represents the duration of the outgoing wormhole.” Rodney taps the whiteboard. John stares at the way his hands dance over the numbers. “And this one here, this is the distance between Lantea and its sun...”

Each loop, he learns a little more. Eventually, he understands the equations Rodney has been scribbling for the past god knows how many loops.

Now they just need to actually figure out how to solve them.

“That equation is wrong.”

“What? No it isn’t. I worked that out myself.” Rodney is glaring at him like he insulted his mother.

“I’m telling you, Rodney. Look.” John uses the cuff of his shirt to wipe out a corner of the equations scribbled on the whiteboard. “This is assuming we’re still operating in base 10, but we know the gate operating system is partially in base 16.” He adds in the corrected figures as he goes. “So we need to convert it to polynomial here and here before we can compare the output to the data from our solar radiation readings, then we can figure out the coronal mass ejection’s effects on both the gate and our computers simultaneously and allow for the difference.”

Rodney is squinting at the whiteboard. “That’s… Huh. That might actually be right.” He steps closer, running his fingers beneath the figures John has changed. Then he wheels and rounds on John.

“You,” he says, pointing a finger at John’s chest. “You are a genius.”

And then he’s grabbing John’s shirt and hauling him close and kissing him, wild and messy and with great enthusiasm.

And John had told himself he wasn’t going to do this any more but this is different, Rodney had kissed him this time, and with the way Rodney’s hands are scrabbling at every piece of skin he can reach he doesn’t think he could stop himself anyway.

Afterwards, once they’ve wasted far too much of this loop to get any productive work done, John tells Rodney about all the times that they’ve done this before, and that this is the first time Rodney has been the one to instigate it.

Rodney shrugs. “What can I say? A man who knows his math really gets me going.”

John hides a smile. “You only want me for my brain, huh?”

“Yes,” Rodney says, like that’s obvious. He breaks into a grin and runs a hand through John’s hair. “And the hair, of course. That’s very important.”

“Mmhmm.” John stretches lazily across the sofa in the corner of the lab. “And the rest of me?”

Rodney gives him a sly look. “I guess that’s alright too.”

And then Rodney is giggling as John wrestles him to the sofa as well, and he’s all flying elbows and poking fingers until John gets him pinned beneath him, both of them sweaty and out of breath from laughter.

Oh, thinks John. So this is what happiness feels like. He’d almost forgotten.

The loop is about to end, though this one feels different.

They're lying squashed together on the too-small sofa, inelegantly draped around each other, when Rodney takes his hand. “You have to tell me,” he says. “We’re about to reset, and once we've fixed this and I've forgotten again, you have to tell me how you feel.”

His gut churns. It’s so much simpler to be together when he doesn’t have to think about the consequences.

“Promise me,” Rodney says. “It’s not fair that I should finally get what I’ve wanted for so long, and not be able to remember it.”

He thinks about how he feels each time Rodney is reset: the loss, the ache of it. He tries to imagine what it would be like to have those experiences erased entirely.

“Okay.” He squeezes Rodney’s hand. “I promise.”

“That’s it!” Rodney beams at the whiteboard, covered from top to bottom in dense equations. “I can’t believe we got that done so fast.”

John lets out a sound that might be considered a laugh.

“Ah.” Rodney looks at him sideways. “You’ve been working on this for a while, huh?”

“You could say that, yeah.”

“Well, good news. Now we’ve got the wormhole modeled, we can feed this data into the dialing device and reset the gate manually.”

“And that will stop the loop?”

“I sure as hell hope so, because it’s the only idea I’ve got.”

“Terrific.”

John makes a conscious effort to stop his leg from bouncing anxiously as Rodney loads up their data into the dialing device.

He checks his watch. It’s three minutes to eight.

This is going to work. Right? This has to work. He’s put everything he has into this fix and he honestly doesn’t know if he can cope with looping one single time more.

(He’s thought that so many times before. And yet, here he is, still, willing or not.)

“We need to get the timing just right,” Rodney informs the gate techs. He’s taken over the gate room and thankfully the entire base has learned not to get in McKay’s way when he has that steely look in his eye. “We need to engage the program at exactly the moment the incoming wormhole is set to arrive.”

Two minutes to eight. Adrenaline surges, and he wants to run or to fight, but there’s nothing he can do except watch the furrow in Rodney’s brow and the agitated tapping of his fingers against the Ancient keypad.

“Alright, Chuck, ready on my command.”

Rodney’s got this, he tells himself. They’ve got this.

One minute to eight.

“Now!” Chuck sits up straighter, focused on the instruments in front of him. Rodney taps at the keypad, attention narrowed down to the rapidly scrolling code on his screen.

The lights flicker, spluttering overhead and casting the gate room in an eerie disjointed light. The gate starts to rotate, the screeching noise louder than usual, the illuminated symbols seeming to glow more brightly.

There is a moment of absolute stillness, and then -

The whoosh of the outgoing wormhole connecting is the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. He can get out, he can be free, he can live. He doesn't have to be alone any more.

Blood rushes to his head in great waves and makes him dizzy, like this might all be an illusion, like it might disappear at any moment.

He checks his watch. It's two minutes past eight.

He lets out a hysterical peal of laughter, staggers away from the gate controls, and passes out.

He wakes up not in his quarters. The antiseptic smell of the infirmary is the sweetest breath of fresh air.

Elizabeth insists he needs medical supervision, but there's no chance of keeping a hoard of curious scientists away from an oddity like the man who looped through time. So he's in an infirmary bed being gently grilled about the experience by Zelenka, who has apparently been elected their representative.

Elizabeth does her best to project an air of calm as she asks, "Is there any way to know how long we were looping for?"

Zelenka pushes his glasses up on the bridge of nose. "It is hard to say for certain, but extrapolating the current season based on the length of the days, we must have lost around six months."

"Six months?" Elizabeth turns to him, aghast. "John, I can't even imagine."

She means well, but he can't handle pity right now. He plays it off casually, with a wink and a smile. "Trust me, you don't want to." He swings his legs off the side of the bed and calls out to Carson. "Doc, I'm good to leave, right? Pretty sure I'm healthy as a horse, and I've given the research team plenty of material to work with."

Carson looks him over, takes in the weary lines of his shoulders, and eventually nods. He always was perceptive. "Aye, alright. But stop back in tomorrow for a checkup."

"Sure thing. Now if you'll all excuse me, I'm looking forward to a well deserved night off."

He is looking forward to a night off, but the very last place he wants to wake up tomorrow is in his quarters. He'd sooner sleep on one of the piers, or in the locker room, or on a hive ship. Anywhere but there.

But there's another option. Or at least, there might be. So he finds himself fidgeting outside Rodney's door.

The door opens while he's pacing back and forth in the corridor.

"Sheppard?' Rodney blinks at him. "I was just on my way to find you. Earlier you seemed… so I thought… well, this must have been hard for you. What are you doing in the hallway?"

He doesn't have an answer for that. Instead he considers.

Rodney's hair is mussed, the way it gets when he's been deep in thought and running his hands through it. His fingertips are pinching together, a hum of low-grade anxiety that surrounds him whenever he has to confront emotional situations. He's wearing an old grey hoodie, one of his favorites because it's soft, even though he thinks it makes him look dumpy (it doesn't. Or maybe it does, but it doesn't matter, because it's comfortable and warm and it smells like Rodney. John knows because he's stolen it tens of times. It's one of his favorites as well.)

John knows him, knows every part of him, and he's so close he could reach out and touch him, but he's a million miles away as well.

"... John? Do you want to come in?" Rodney's face pinches into a concerned frown. "We don't have to talk, if you'd rather not."

He could walk away. Turn on his heel and leave, never mention any of this, let the whole incident fade into obscurity. But he's so close to having what he wants: something new, something familiar, something beautiful.

He takes a breath. Here is his chance. Now or never.

"Actually, I think we should talk." He lets himself smile at the precious memory, one perfect moment crystallized like a diamond from months of crushing pressure. "I made a promise."

#stargate atlantis #mcshep #my writing

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ramp-it-up · 3 years

Text

Learning Each Other

This is a sequel to “Where Did You Learn This?” which is a drabble for an ask. I fell in love and now we’re here. This AU will eventually lead to a drabble in response to another ask, and series collab with @riiyy. So big ups to the Nonnie that requested this idea! I ❤️ you!

Pairing: Daveed x Reader

Word count: 6k

Warnings: 18+ SMUT** Cursing, Angst.

You woke up the next morning and regretted everything you’d said. But you knew it was for the best. You deleted Daveed’s number so that there was no danger you’d call him again. You went to the theater that night and worked your ass off. And every day got a little easier.

Six months later, you went back to New York (conveniently after D was on the west coast again) and got a lead in a brand new musical; six months after that, you were a “breakout” star.

-----

You were hanging out with your crew bar hopping, blowing off stress from a long week of shows. You were walking down Ludlow, on your way to The Red Lion from The Garrett. You were ready to dance. You were so glad that Ariana suggested this.

"Oh hell no, Ari, what did you do!" You were pissed.

Ariana's mouth was open.

"I promise you I did not know anything about this. I didn’t know they were in town."

You were standing in front of a poster of Rafa and Daveed. They were hosting a cipher at the Red Lion.

"Fuck. Let's get out of here."

You turned to go the opposite direction.

"Ay, Yo! Knucklehead! What's uppppp!"

You stopped as Rafael kept calling you. You turned around and saw him running out of the theater after you. You put a smile on your face despite the fact that your stomach was doing flips.

Rafa came up, gave you a hug, and spun you around. You couldn't help but laugh. Rafa was your dude.

"Put me down Cash."

You both stood there and grinned at each other.

"Long time no see, girl! You are still fine. I’ve been watching you do big things from afar. What are you up to? You come to see the show?"

"Thanks, Rafa. You know, just working; living life. You’re still looking good too! I'm just hanging with friends…”

You motioned to Ariana and ‘em. Rafa’s eyes lit up when he saw Ari and gave her a hug. “Ariana, my love!”

You shifted on your feet as your other friends waited for you and Ari to finish with Rafa, a few people pointing and whispering as they went by.

“We should leave soon..." You were getting nervous.

Rafa just smiled and nodded, understanding, then his phone buzzed and he typed into it, looking up at you soon after.

"I gotta go."

He gave you another squeeze. "Maybe I'll see you after the show?"

You didn't want to burst his bubble, you just wanted away from there. So you just smiled.

"Still stubborn, I see." Rafa shook his head as moved to go back into the bar.

"She’s downright intransigent."

All of a sudden, the hair on the back of your neck stood up. When you turned around, the streetlights were blinding you. Or was that Daveed?

You didn't hear what Rafa said as he went into the bar. You just blindly waved as you looked at Daveed.

Damn. You missed his face. You really missed riding his face. It had been a year and some months and this was not helping you forget that.

'Hey, you."

You couldn't help but smile. You mentally checked your body systems. You were okay; your knees were strong. Breathing: oh yeah, you should do that.

I can't believe this shit still got me in my feelings, Daveed thought. Here you were on a sidewalk again. How were you gonna shred his heart this time? He shook it off and responded to you.

"Hey yourself."

"I had no idea that you were going to be here." You seemed to be apologizing.

"Same."

You felt a strange vibe from Daveed. You figured he was mad at what happened that night.

Daveed wasn't mad. He was tore up. You were ‘the one’ and he’d fucked up and waited too long and...

He didn't know which way was up. But he wasn't about to chase you again.... Or was he?....

"Well, it was good seeing you again. You have a good show."

You were headed to convince your friends to hang out somewhere else.

Swallowing the lump in your throat as you walked past him you suddenly felt gently tugged back by his hand.

"So, you can't stay and speak?"

Daveed had finally regained enough cool to rap to you. And he relished in the feel of your skin against his fingers.

You just smiled. At his touch and at his game. You didn't know what to say. Surely, he'd moved on.

"I figured you had to get to the show..."

"They're good for a few." The timbre of his voice was everything. Something unspeakable for you resonated in the sound. Was it desire? Love? Both.

"I don't want to keep you.” You blushed and looked at your shoes, your curls shielding your eyes from him.

Daveed tried to look at you. He saw your tinged cheeks and the way you bit your lip.Maybe there was hope. He knew your tells, you wanted him. But was it just physical? Were you ready to give him your heart, for real this time?

"Maybe we can sit down and chop it up. After the show?" Daveed really wanted to know the answers to his questions.

"I wasn't planning to see a show tonight..." You looked just inside the door to the Red Lion and saw Rafa shaking his head at you. Your escape game was on 10.

“We were just going to… Peculiar Pub.” You finally met his eyes. Damn. You could get lost, trip, and fall in love again.

That beautiful smile greeted you. “Sounds dope.”

Daveed leaned down and kissed your cheek, inhaling the scent of you.

You both closed your eyes.

"See you later."

"Bye, Daveed."

You spoke at the same time.

Daveed backed up and then turned around halfway back to the bar.

You just stood there and watched him, then turned back to your friends.

They were all watching you with wide eyes.

"What are y'all staring at? Let's go get wasted!"

They all laughed except Ariana, who just sighed and put her arm around you. You put your head on her shoulder as you left.

You didn't look back.

---------------

"You are so pitiful."

Ariana was alternating looking at you and her phone screen as you watched The Princess and the Frog for the thousandth time.

You had been in a funk all week, ducking and dodging the Bay Boys who seemed to be everywhere you turned.

They had even come to a show and you just went straight out of the stage door after the performance, not even saying hello. You were pressed.

“What the fuck are you on, man?”

You grabbed the popcorn from her and put your feet up on her lap, snuggling under the throw on your couch.

“You’re being a drag. You just need to talk to Daveed and then fuck him.”

She dodged the popcorn being thrown at her.

“I am not doing that. We’re over, Ari. I can’t handle him again. It’s a non-starter.”

She was done with you.

"You have to ask yourself whyyyyy though? If going to see him at a cypher and being around him is causing you this much turmoil, are you really NOT feeling him? And if you are feeling him, why all the drama?!"

“I'm just not doing that again, Ariana."

"First of all. Daveed was all about you when y'all were 'not together’."

She had the nerve to do air quotes.

You were big mad.

"Daveed. Left. Her. He. Still. Loves. You." Ari had to clap it out for you. “Isn't that what you wanted?"

You opened your mouth to protest.

"Zip it." She held her finger up.

"Y'all were fucking around. Then y’all fell in love and he gave you an ultimatum that involved wanting to be with you. But what do you do? You choose Mr. Dickhead. Then you dropped the dickhead. Daveed broke up with her anyway and came for you. But you curved him. You didn’t even give him a chance. You don't know what that man might do if you let him.”

Ari leaned back and looked at you with disdain.

“Might fuck around and get treated like the queen you are."

You were sure you were as red as you could turn. You felt attacked.

You drew the covers up around your neck and stared at the ceiling.

“Don’t act like you’re the victim. You both put each other, and others, through the grinder. That was messy. But it’s been a year, you’re both single, and this could be amazing, if you just stop over analyzing.”

Ariana knew she was getting to you because you had shut up.

“The OBC reunion party is Friday night and you are NOT skipping it. You are going to go, engage, and talk to Daveed if necessary. Put on your big girl panties. Woman up, bitch.”

You still didn’t respond. You just closed your eyes and pretended your life was simple.

---

The cast reunited at the Richard Rogers after the current production and partied like it was 1999.

You escaped to the roof after exhausting yourself avoiding Daveed. The late August night was nice. You were not surprised to find Rafael up there smoking that island sweet.

"Where's Daveed?" Rafa took a toke and held it up for you, not expecting you to take it. You needed to relax, so you decided to shock the shit out of him. You stood up and not only took it, but french inhaled.

"Whaaaaaa? I don't know if I approve of this. Not my little uptight knucklehead." Rafa got it back and toked again. When yall last hung out, you were a bit of a prude. You had grown, in more ways than one.

"You're funny as hell, Rafa." You said as you exhaled. You weren't about to explain yourself. You are a grown ass woman.

"I’m not Daveed’s keeper.”

"You are indeed Daveed’s keeper.”

He said and nodded, the weed making him sage. You were fascinated by Rafa’s smile and what he was saying.

"Oh, word?" you didn't believe him.

"Word. Girl, I love you. But if I hear Daveed say one more time that…”

"I can speak for myself, Cash."

Daveed had come onto the rooftop and was staring at you as he took a puff of what his friend was holding.

Rafa got it back, inhaled again and squeaked "Indeed," as he tried to hold it. He gave the peace sign as he gave you both some privacy.

"Hey." Daveed exhaled smoothly, his eyes sweeping down the length of you. Damn, he thought.

"What up, Dude!" you were still trying to keep it light as you sat on the roof ledge.

"So. You've been avoiding me all night, right? Can we finally talk?" He was trying to get at you.

You laughed. "I haven't been avoiding you. I was just hanging with my friends.”

Damn, you were so cold. "So what am I? Am I your friend?"

You appraised him. "You're THE Daveed Diggs."

He shook his head, and smiled. "Ah. I see. Why are you still mad?"

You sighed and looked up at the sky. You weren’t trying to feel anything, especially anger.

"I'm not mad. I'm chilling. Relaxed, watching the stars, listening to good conversation and music. What else could I want?"

Daveed wasn't about the small talk. He didn't have the time.

"Me?"

The way his voice broke when he said that one word was killing you. You closed your eyes.

"We've done that already Diggs."

"I'm not talking about just fucking. I mean, a real relationship."

You finally looked at him. He got lost in your pretty browns and the tension was palpable. Something was pulling him toward you. He got closer, a moth to a flame.

As he neared, you felt your eyes get bigger and you forgot how to breathe again. You were terrified at what you were going to do.

He was close enough now that he was looking down at you.

“Still a short stack, I see.”

His voice rumbled low and sexy. Daveed licked his lips, resurrecting one of his nicknames for you. It referred to your stature, but also to one of his favorite things to eat.

“Put your glasses on, D. Nobody is taller than me.”

You drew yourself up to your full height; even in your heels only coming up to his shoulders.

Daveed leaned back and swept his eyes down your body, from your hair to your eyes to your lips (damn) that cute ass chin, your neck, which got him hot, down your torso to your jeans (damn again) those fucking legs, to those pretty ass toes on those high heeled sandals.

“You right. I look up to you. Always loved looking up to you…”

His voice again. You needed something to drink as you thought of Daveed on his knees.

You had to get control back. You cleared your throat.

"Are you trying to play me?"

He stopped, trying to be patient. But all he wanted to do, first and foremost, was to hold you in his arms again. He wanted that year back.

"Who is playing who? I want a relationship with you. And I think you know that.”

"So what does a relationship mean to you?”

“A relationship means me, and you. Together. Exclusive. No fucking around with anyone else. It means…”

Daveed shook his head. He wanted to have this full conversation right now but he couldn’t finish it. He wanted forever with you. But he realized he had to take it slow. And there was this.

“I want us to learn each other. Again. Brand new. Forever.”

He leaned down and took your lips, for the first time since the last time, reaching around your waist and pulling you to him.

He cheered internally when your arms came up around his neck, your hand at the back of his head, grasping his hair.

He wanted you to pull it hard, and send that hotline straight to his cock.

He wanted to take you here on the roof and have you call his name.

He wanted to feel you pulsate around him, his whole body intent on your pleasure, which would trigger his.

He built such worlds of passion in his mind during that 90 second kiss, that he was dizzy when you pulled apart.

But he needed to tell you the truth.

You were hot and cold and wet and dry all at the same time. Daveed’s dick could solve all of that for you.

You’d refrained from pulling his hair, because you knew what that would ignite, and you weren’t about to fuck him on the roof of the Richard Rodgers theater. Again, two years after the last time.

Memories made you weak and you had to catch your breath when you pulled away.

What he said next chilled the vibe.

"Look. Bill and Jon and Rafa and I are leaving for Europe on Monday."

"Oh."

You felt... something you didn't want to feel. He’d flipped it on you, now you felt out of control. You moved away from him toward the ledge. You crossed your arms around yourself, building a wall.

"Yeah, we'll be there for 8 weeks, until around Halloween."

You just stared at him. Your feelings were crazy.

"I know you don't trust me. And I'm not trying to get into a thing and then put that kind of distance between us."

"But we come back to the states October 28th. And then I want... I want us to be different, better.”

Daveed looked at you, willing you to feel your feelings for him.

You felt it. Gawd you felt it in the small of your back. You were holding your breath again.

"Daveed. What you said was everything. Thank you for putting it out there like that. I get it. When you come back, you want closure, or...."

All of a sudden, you weren't anxious any more. You had some time to figure it out. The chaos you were feeling was gone. You were good.

"Can we sort it out in October?"

Daveed just nodded his head and laughed.

"Sure." He put his hands in his pockets.

You patted the ledge beside you.

"C'mere and let me show you something." Daveed grinned and did as he was told, straddling the ledge like a horse and scooting close to you.

You leaned into him and pointed out a constellation. He put his arms around your waist and you were not mad.

“Did you know that Orion has the brightest stars in the sky?"

Daveed inhaled your scent and just flowed with it. Your vibe. You spent the next two hours just talking and looking at the night sky, dreaming under the stars.

Friends again at last.

----

Daveed was mad busy up until they got to the airport 5 pm Monday evening. They were taking a redeye to London which left at 7:30 pm.

You and he had texted over the weekend (after he gave you his number again), but you’d left him on read this morning. He wasn't going to crowd you though. He wanted you to come to him.

They had over an hour until their plane to London boarded, but D was not gonna double text.

You were enjoying your day off and thinking about Daveed but avoiding talking to him. You didn’t want to get deep before he went away.

You knew where he was right now and you were trying not to be emotional. You were coming to terms with the fact that Daveed was really into you. You had to take this slowly, sip these feelings, because you could get intoxicated, and quickly. And you wanted to guard your heart.

That evening, you opened your messages and sent him a selfie.

Have a safe flight, Friend.

Your smile was everything. Clean face and freckled realness. Daveed replied.

Damn. Beautiful.

He was more affected than if it was a nude. You were fucking everything. And he had to prove it to you. Beyond creating dope things with his friends, that was his number one priority. He decided to chill while he was away, but when he came back, it was on.

You were embarrassed at your reaction to his text. It was totally irrational after everything. But you were gone, baby. Gone. When he came back, it was inevitable.

------

Daveed landed in New York by himself, while the crew went on to California. He had work to do. After Rafael wished him luck, he went to his hotel.

After he finally got checked in, he scrolled through the text between you two from the last 8 weeks. Occasional friendly texts inevitably turned to sexting, because your desire for each other was on an all time high, and although you didn’t say this out loud, neither of you were trying to get with anyone else.

"I just want to lick you down. I would start with your nipples. I would suck the skin of these shits. Then, I would go down... I just want to bite it gently. If you let me near your clit again. I just want to... damn girl. I want you to cum for me. Can you do that? Cum for me?"

Daveed spit that hot game in your ear. And you were eager to hear it.

You’d been ghosting him the last few days, and he knew that you were spooked. The reality of you two being on the same continent had you shook, but Daveed’s eyes were on the prize.

With Ariana’s help, he was set to speak to you later that day. He took the opportunity to take a shower and a nap before the big show.

----

He saw your eyes get wide and you speak to yourself. He didn’t have to lip read too hard to know what you were saying.

“I’m gonna fucking kill Ariana DeBose.”

You should have known something was up when Ariana said to meet her here. This place didn’t have many vegan options, but you had no reason to doubt her. Ain’t this about a bitch. Your bestie had set you up.

You watched Daveed approach and he looked so fucking good. You licked your lips and stood up to give him a hug, grateful that you had gone for brunch glam today.

Daveed held you close for a minute before pushing you away to look at you. You were fucking hot and he only hoped that the games would end today.

“Hi.” That smile. “You look great.”

“Hello, Daveed.” You blushed back. “You do too.”

“We need to sit, people are staring.” Daveed looked around when you said that.

“Wanna get out of here? Don’t need anybody ear hustling.”

Although you felt anxiety, you agreed. There was already a line for pictures with him.

You waited for about 10 minutes while Daveed, and you (with you two together, you were recognized) took pictures with some fans. Then, you and Daveed exited the diner to the beautiful late October New York afternoon.

“Wanna go for a walk in the park?” Daveed nodded across the street.

You followed his gaze as you realized why Ari picked this place. You were going to have a word or two with her later.

But you agreed and soon you and Daveed were absorbing the fall colors in Central Park as he warmed you up to talk about you and him.

“Daveed, I’m glad that you laid it out there at the cast party…”

He sensed a ‘but’ coming on. He couldn’t let your pretty little fears get in the way. He stopped you.

“Listen, I think you are the dopest woman I have ever met. You're hot as hell and smart. You’re so fucking talented and real. And the fact that your goal in life is not for me to wife you is so got damn attractive."

He’d stopped and stared in your eyes. You almost got run over by a jogger and Daveed pulled you over to a bench and made you sit down.

"I miss talking to you like fuck, and since August I replay our conversations in my mind. You make me laugh and I want to go out of my way to see you smile."

When you did just that, it was Daveed's turn to get weak in the knees.

“Will you be mine? My one and only? My girl, my lady, my muse? Will you give me another chance?” He reached out and held your hands in his.

You sighed. "I can't... I don't have the right answer when you touch me like this."

His big hands and long fingers were your focal point, his thumbs caressing your hands.

Daveed did what he'd been wanting to do all day. He leaned over kissed your forehead. You responded with a shudder.

"Then there's your answer."

But then he moved back and dropped your hands. He gave you a minute as he watched your heightened senses subside.

"Can you think clearly now?"

You tried. "What I look like taking you back just like that and getting serious just like that? I loved you Daveed. You hurt me. After you I buried my heart at the bottom of the ocean.”

"So you think you and I will be a serious relationship?" He smirked.

Oh shit. I just played myself, you thought.

"I mean... well, damn..." You looked down at your hands, planning to die from embarrassment.

Daveed reached out, lifted your chin and looked into your eyes.

"You feel it too, hunh?"

Then the kiss happened and you lost all sense of time and space.

"Tell me what I got to prove. You ain't got nothing to say? You're too good at walking away. Stick around and see how this thing turns out. I want this.”

You touched your lips and looked at him, terrified, but elated.

"As long as you are willing to acknowledge that this...."

Daveed pulled you to him again and dominated your mouth.

"Is a thing."

You couldn't breathe. "I need you to dig your heart back up and give me a chance with it."

"Daveed..." You didn't know what to think. Daveed needed you to stop thinking so much.

"Shhhh. When we're together. There's just this."

Daveed put his hands on your waist and kissed you, while his hands roamed. Your jacket shielded the world from seeing what on your body he was laying claim to.

When you came up for air you said, "What was I saying?" Your wits were thoroughly scattered. You laughed with him.

Fuck it. You were exhausted of fighting it. You wanted him. He wanted you.

“Okay. So we’re doing this.” You couldn’t believe you said it. And what you said next. You got closer to him and whispered in his ear.

“I’m hungry. Let’s go to my place.” Daveed shivered and pulled back to search your eyes.

“Are you sure about this?”

“That I’m hungry? Hell yeah, Ariana promised me brunch. I’m starving.” Daveed couldn’t tell if you were serious. “And I know that one reason Ariana picked the diner is that my apartment is right over there.”

You pointed and Daveed was on his feet reaching for your hand in on time. You giggled as he pulled you in that direction.

You kissed at stop lights and had to restrain yourselves from making out too much on the street. Finally, you were inside your place.

“You want anything to…” You were turning around from hanging up your jacket.

“I want you. Over here. Right now.”

Daveed looked a little scary which made you more than a little wet.

He pulled you to him as his hands went under your shirt. He pulled your bra cups down, something he'd been dreaming of for months, and let your warm breasts spill out. He gently fondled your nipples, twisting and squeezing them repeatedly. He started kissing your neck.

When you started moaning, Daveed could hardly stand it.

"You said you were hungry. Girl, I want to remind you what my mouth can do..." His hands went where he wanted his mouth to.

You were out of breath and becoming dehydrated quickly. It felt like all the moisture in your body was going between your legs.

"D-D-Daveed..." Damn, this man had you stuttering.

You pussy was throbbing. You tried to catch your breath.

"You're a fucking tease."

"No. I'm not a fucking tease. When we fuck, it won't be a tease." He moved your hand to his steel rod. "You're going to take this dick. And I'm going to fuck you. Hard."

Daveed drew back so he could see your eyes. They were blazing.

"Ever been fucked so hard your teeth rattled?"

Your eyes closed in ecstacy. You almost came on the spot, it had been so long.

"You can be. All you gotta do is ask..." He bit his lip. His power move.

“I have to tell you something, D.”

He grew worried. Fuck.

“I’ve been celibate since before that night last year. It’s been a long time.”

His eyes got wide. That shit was hot, but he was prepared to respect it.

“Oh shit.” He backed up and put his hands up. “I-I’m sorry...I”

“If you don’t shut up and fuck me…” you threw yourself at him and he picked you up so your legs were wrapped around his waist. You were impossibly trying to get his dick inside you through all your clothes. He laughed as you slid off him.

“Why have you been celibate?” You just stared at him as you pulled your shirt over your head, revealing your exposed breasts.

“Is it because you wanted this?” Daveed took off his shirt and you screamed in your head, yes, as you moaned a little bit. You could see his smile emerge from his shirt.

He started palming himself over his jeans.

“Or is it this you were saving yourself for? He unbuckled his belt and unfastened his pants, leaving them open so you could see his black underwear.

You continued the eye contact as you unzipped your pants and bent over, knees locked to take them off. Daveed was rubbing himself in earnest now.

Then you dropped to your knees and looked up at him, in bra and panties, breasts exposed and hands behind your back.

Daveed’s dick practically clawed its way out of his underwear.

“Shit, that’s hot.” He took his impossibly long member out and started stroking as he approached you. You licked your lips and lowered your eyes.

You heard him stroking and moaning for a bit but waited until you felt the smack on your cheek. You looked up immediately and opened your mouth wide for him.

“Holy fuck.” You kept your mouth open and let him stuff your throat, then closed and used your tongue as he pulled out again. “Do you know how beautiful you look with my cock in your mouth?”

He started slow, because he knew it had been a while, but in no time he was fucking your face, as your moans got more and more intense.

“How wet are you baby?” He looked down at you as you just continued to look at him, cheeks hollowed and eyes watering. You felt his balls harden against your chin as he looked at you. “Touch yourself and show me.”

You did as you were told, closing your eyes as you played in your slick a bit, then bringing your two fingers up for him to see. They gleamed in the sunlight for him.

“Gotdamn.” Daveed pulled your fingers to his mouth and suckled. “You taste like my dreams.” He put his hands on your head.

“I want to fuck you well. But if I don’t cum now, it will be over too soon. Do you want it down your throat?” Daveed couldn’t decide. He didn’t need to hear you clearly when you said, “Please,” because it was already happening.

You swallowed everything as he shot down your throat, careful to take every drop.

Daveed dropped to his knees in front of you and kissed your lips, tongue delving into your mouth. Then, he pulled back to look at you.

“I love you.”

“You’re just saying that because we just…”

“No!” He shut you up real quick. “I loved you the first time I saw you. I would never have done what I did to her if I didn’t…” He looked at you as if you were the most beautiful thing in the world. “Fuck it, let me show you….”

You drove him crazy. He had never been so not in control than with you.

The next thing you knew, you were being handled. You were on your back as your eyes flew open to see Daveed’s sexy-angry face above you, hands on your panties, tearing them to shreds.

He looked you in the eyes. "I'll buy you some more."

You kept eye contact as he went down and started kissing your thighs, legs, pelvis, everywhere but where you wanted. He wanted to tease you some more, but when you started moaning, he attacked your bud, moaning with you, which made your clit start pulsing.

"Fuck." You grabbed his head and tangled your fingers in his hair, leaning all the way back on the floor to survive. His head game deserved a gold star.

The taste of you was too much. Too fucking delicious. He shook his head because he couldn't believe it, taking your clit with him. He could feel it harden and pulse, and he knew he was close to making you cum. The thought had him rock hard again.

It had been so fucking long since someone else had hands, mouth, anything on you. You felt that special kinda pressure build up with just Daveed’s mouth and you tried to push his head away.

“Shit Daveed, I’m gonna make a mess!” As if that would make him stop. You looked down at his eyes gleaming and he added two long fingers to your pussy. He curled them as he sucked and it was game over.

“Holllllllllllyyyyyyyyy!!!” Your hips pistoned up into his face, along with your cum. Like you did before him, Daveed made sure to capture it all.

“Thank you for your libations, baby. So good. So, so good.” Daveed was grinning down at you as he offered his hand. You were still in your living room.

You reached for him, hard again and felt the bead of moisture at the tip with your thumb. Daveed groaned as you brought your thumb up and started sucking it like a baby.

"Damn, baby, did it feel good?"

You had him caught up. You just nodded, your thumb still in your mouth. Daveed growled at you, kissed you and let you over to an upholstered chair.

He spun you around and bent you over it.

Daveed leaned over you and smoothed your hair, gently rubbing it.

"You comfortable? You good?" His voice was the sweetest thing.

All you could do was pant into the pillow and nod. You were already dripping down your legs.

"Good." He stood up and kicked your legs apart with his feet.

"Cause I'm about to fuck the shit out of you."

Daveed entered you in one swift move, forcefully filling you up with his manhood in a split second.

"Oh my God!!!! YES!" You screamed. Daveed stopped, you both pounding with each other. The stretch burned, but felt oh so good. You began to lubricate you both very well.

After a minute, Daveed started fucking you Very hard. His grunts were in time with your moans as he leaned over and grabbed your hair. The slight pain of the tug made you just a little wetter.

"FUCK that feels so good!" Your legs started shaking as you tried to hold in your second orgasm.

"nonononono. idontwannnaaaaaccccccccummmmm"

You couldn't take it.

Daveed slapped your ass. "Stop trying to control shit. This pussy is mine. Give it to me." He leaned over and twisted your left nipple. He whispered in your ear.

"Let. Go." And he slapped your ass again.

You started to throw it back and you both came like it was the first time anybody came on earth.

Daveed hung on to you as long as he could, until he emptied himself and sunk down on the floor. He was covered in sweat.

You had tumbled into the chair and was curled up in a ball, staring off into space. "You were right. I need a mouth guard if we're going to do THAT again." You started giggling.

"Don't worry. I'll get you one tomorrow. Cause girl..." Daveed stood up and straightened you out. "We're definitely doing THAT again."

You stood there just grinning at each other.

You stretched and Daveed appreciated it.

"I'm gonna need a hot shower after that. Need to make sure I can dance tomorrow."

You walked in the bathroom and shyly looked over your shoulder at him as you started the water.

Daveed grinned wider and walked in behind you.

"Let me stretch you out in the shower." He winked at your wide eyed look. "I mean, to make sure you can dance and all." He stared at you and licked his lips.

"Don't pretend like you don't want me to, time out for all that."

At this point, Daveed was looking up at you from the shower floor, and you weren't about to pretend anything. You closed the door and leaned back against the cool tile wall as Daveed started worshipping you again.

**********************************

Read Acceptance.

@braidedchallah @einfachniemand @sillyteecup @riiyy @commandersmiley @sillyteecup

Permanent: @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr

#Daveed Diggs #daveed diggs smut #daveed imagine #daveed x reader #daveed fic #daveed diggs rafael casal #Rafael Casal #bay boys #ariana #ariana debose #hamilfam #hamilton obc #Hamilton #richard rodgers theater #Daveed Diggs x black reader #Ask DJ #Send me asks #it turns out amazing

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caterpellas · 4 years

Text

munich nights • harry styles 2

summary: touring inseparably as best friends and musicians, yours and harry’s relationship takes a cruel turn in munich.

warnings: smut (thigh riding, oral f receiving, girl on top n i think that’s it)

genre: bestfriend!harry, friends to lovers(?), angst, smut, it’s the works y’all

pt 2/3 (one is here) word count: 6k

a/n: this is the penultimate bit now :) i’m actually super nervous to post this lol i’m a mess anyway pls enjoy

chapter 2 playlist

you couldn’t lie, you cried yourself to sleep that night, with a movie you sort of cared about playing in the background. harry didn’t love you, and what used to be the strongest friendship in mankind had now crumbled apart and returned to a state of distant nothingness. harry didn’t love you. he didn’t have to say those words to you for you to know they were true. the realisation hit you about twenty minutes after harry left like an arrow to your chest, that was so recently covered in his ejaculate. not only were the pair of you virtually inseparable, you worked together as well and you had absolutely no idea what was going to happen now. you felt too ashamed for him and his band members to see you now after last night.

waking up in a damp patch of tears in your double bed, you try your hardest to get on with your day and forget last night. a bath felt appropriate so, just before midday, before you’d even greeted your friends yet, you ran one. the tub itself was freestanding and as deep as your head when you sat in it, the victorian taps centred in the middle. it was definitely the nicest bath you’d had in your life. you stripped off last nights clothes that you had shamelessly fallen asleep in and hoped to god the hot water of your bath would erase the images of last night, but the feeling of harry’s touch burned hotter then any water.

almost an hour later, milo, your drummer, knocked on the door of the bathroom you were still in.

“y/n? you in there? we haven’t seen you since last night before you and harry left. is everything okay?” milo’s voice reached you through the oak walls. you wanted to tell him that nothing was okay, and that you’re most important relationship ceased to exist but you couldn’t bare to tell anyone else, especially your friend and bandmate of 5 years.

“i’m all good, i’ll be out soon.” you make it downstairs another half an hour later, the need for a cup of tea driving you to the kitchen. as you reached the breakfast bar right next to the kitchen, you saw the sickening mop of brown curls that you were hoping to avoid. he turns to face you at the sound of your slippers against the tiled floor.

but instead of plain ignorance, a much more unexpected reaction finds its way to harry as he greets you, “y/n! we were beginning to think you’d drowned in that bath.”

you stood in bewilderment at harry’s attempt at a joke, wondering why he was trying you like all of last night never happened to either of you. but you picked this over cold silence so went along with it, “yeah sorry i needed to recover from the jet lag yesterday.”

it was sort of true, you were feeling the time difference and were grateful to be able to rest today. aside from plans to go out this evening, you were all going to rest up at home. which meant being in close quarters with the man you were trying so hard to avoid. making your cup of tea on the old aga kettle, your friends went back to discussing tour details, chatting about last and what was in store for the rest of the trip. you got a feeling their plans for the future weren’t going to be that plain and simple.

by the evening, you had all found yourselves comfortably sat around the fire outside, eating takeout from a german restaurant nearby. it was really good, and although you and harry had barely spoken more than those few words to each other things weren’t as awkward as you were dreading they’d be. usually, if things hadn’t gone the way they had, you and harry would be sat next to one another, your sides touching all the way down whilst you giggled over something harry was telling you.but as it goes, milo and olly sandwiched you between their huge bodies.

“does anyone know the name of the club we’re going to tonight?”

your ears pricked up at the mention of going to a club. you didn’t realise you were going out-out.

“panorama, i think? i put harry’s name on the guest list.”

it occurred to you that you were heavily underdressed for an exclusive nightclub. you had a good feeling they wouldn’t accept your cargo pants and grubby trainers. jumping up from the bench you run to the door, “i need to go change!”

you opted for an ever so slightly classier look and went with a small pleated skirt and a cropped cardigan. not a combo you’d usually wear, it was a little more fitted then you’d choose for yourself but you’d compromise a little to get in the club. you stuck with the dr martens purely for comfort and called it a night there. you loved your style for many reasons, but the most important one was that it was low effort. it took a maximum of 20 minutes to get ready and you took pride in that.

the group had organised to have a limo to share instead of a taxi, so harry was a little more protected from paparazzi and also to fit the size of your party. they were all waiting outside on the drive when you got downstairs and in unison, their heads turned to face you.

sarah grinned at you, “i love it.”

“very cute,” charlotte smiled as well.

you responded with a “cheers” before daring to look at harry. he was wearing a silk shirt and slacks in a baby pink colour. nothing different to harry’s usual attire but the outfit still sent a chill down your spine. well that, and the way he was looking at you. it was dark out but you could still see how electric his green eyes were as they stared directly at you. you’d been caught off guard, harry wasn’t someone you were prepared to connect with again this evening. in fact, you’d convinced yourself that you didn’t even care whether harry was going to be there or not (utter lies of course). but by the way he was looking at you, you knew this wasn’t the end and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

the vip section of ‘panorama’ was plush and teal coloured, with flower garlands and strip lights along the ceiling. you had a lounging area all to yourselves, with big padded benches and cushions. it was luxurious and if you weren’t so highly strung from having harry sat so near by, you’d fall asleep on it. you drunk so many cocktails by this point and your worries seemed to fade away into the loud club music.

“y/n.”

harry was sat next to you, but distantly. he was chatting to mitch before he said your name. no matter how loud the music playing was, you’d still always here his voice. turning to him, you asked, “harry?”

he’s smiling at you, like nothing has changed, “how come you haven’t danced yet this evening?”

it was a good question- you loved to dance more than you loved to perform. harry would always make fun of you, the shimmy you would do when he was playing disco in the studio and the way you always swayed along to fleetwood mac, pretending to be stevie nicks on stage. the reason you weren’t dancing is because you were far too obsessed with the closeness you had achieved with harry in your booth.

“i haven’t quite been feeling it just yet,” you teased back and you felt as though things with harry had gone back to normal, so you dared to ask, “are we good?”

harry’s boyish smile took over his face as he gave you a definite, “yes.”

“well i’m feeling more in the mood now so i’ll see you later,” you get up to exit, smoothing out the pleats in your skirt and struggle to take your eyes away from his. dreaming he’ll follow you, you make your way into the adjacent room filled to the brim with people. the song was bassy, but mellow and you could immediately feel your body moving to it. before you knew it you were almost next to the dj booth, opposite the ceiling high speakers and the song was perfect. you hadn’t felt this relaxed since yesterday’s plane journey and you let your unease pour out of your limbs as they writhed to the music. it took a few minutes to take you out of the trance and realise, although surrounded by a mass of people, you weren’t alone.

a tall figure was behind you, and without turning you knew who it was. you could smell his cologne easily- it was gucci of course and it was heavenly. not even daring to turn to him, you stayed facing away, afraid of what it meant to have him in your view. his hands, large and firm, gripped your shoulders, like he did twice yesterday, and his hot breath was against your neck.

“can i join you?”

the question itself was said innocently, this wasn’t the first time harry had asked to dance with you, and probably wasn’t the last, but it felt different to you now. god how you missed the simplicity of harry being unattainably yours as a friend. finally bracing yourself to meet his eyes from almost a foot above you, you spun, his arms falling from your shoulders to your forearms.

smiling up at the familiar face of the love of your life, you said into his ear, “of course you can dance with me.”

dancing with harry was nothing sexy or erotic but it was the most intimate you’d ever been with him, before last night. harry loved to dance almost as much as you and the best part of his whole personality was nothing other than his devil-may-care disposition. it reminded you of the times he’d twirl you while you were stood somewhere completely out of the blue, or when he’d snap his fingers along to a song and by the time you’d joined in the two of you had broken out into a full dance routine just for the sheer fun of it.

harry grabbed your small, clammy hands and pulled you into him, and then straight back out as wild cherry played through the speakers and you inaudibly laughed at his initial dance moves.

“is that all you’ve got styles?” you smirked at him before laughing at the ridiculous version of the hustle he was trying to pull off. he looked way better than you’d ever want to declare, looking fresh out of the 70s whilst funk music played to his dance moves. it suited him down to a fine art and the song was tailor made for his steps. your hips circled to the song and you remembered just how much you love it. pulling out some more unconventional dance moves you went for the peace signs over your eyes and harry’s head fell back in laughter whilst watching you.

this was it. the perfect moment you were so afraid of losing with him. you understood now that whatever yours and harry’s union was, it was far stronger than you ever gave it credit for. harry and you were back to normal again and instead of last night’s beer goggles making you far more candid then you’d like, now your feelings were crystal clear. harry was all you’d ever want.

as boney m. began to fade in now harry’s dancing had become more intense and now the pair of you were far closer then you’d ever danced together before. one of his hands made a brave attempt at looping around your waist and spinning you, making your skirt flare up in the process. usually you’d be shy and care, but only harry was paying attention to you and the thought of him have a small peak at what was under your skirt didn’t even slightly bother you. one of your arms clutches his lean bicep and you moved in unison together, only inches away from one another now.

“i love watching you dance,” harry whisper-shouted in your ear. unprepared for that statement, you stare into his eyes as they flashed in the colours of the lights. his gaze is unfocused, undecided on if it will look into your own or watch your lips, dampened from the small lick you gave them. his own lips were distracting you as well, the bottom one pulled in by his teeth, a habit he picked up when he was feeling conflicted. you wished he wasn’t such a hard man to read. the only definite you held onto right now was that he wanted to kiss you, reaffirmed when his eyes closed and his head ducked to meet your own.

“harry,” you place a hand on his exposed chest, “i can’t kiss you.”

he knew why. he knew that it crossed the boundary you weren’t meant to cross again. but much like you that didn’t want to stop him. so, despite himself, harry ignored your remark and hesitantly placed his lips on yours. the feeling of his kiss muted the sounds around you and in desperation you urged him to kiss you harder. no matter the height difference between the two of you, harry and you still felt perfectly matched. harry’s hands came into your tangled hair and gripped at the top of your neck, his lips even firmer against yours at the new angle. this was far more passionate then last night, and you were seeing harry in a whole new light. he wasn’t just your friend, an unrequited love and now a one time sexual partner but something more on par with your own emotions. harry’s zealous kiss seemed to correspond with all the feelings you had never spoken about him. but then he pulled away, leaving you empty again. you frowned at him, “why did you stop?”

he simply smiled back at you, soothing your nerves, and took your hand as he pulled you through the crowds to a curtained doorway. the room he took you to was a semi circle, the wall surrounded by a settee, and the floor was carpeted and plush with cushions and blankets. it reminded you of a harem, which made you question harry’s choice of destination. it was far quieter in here, the music now a dull bass in the background.

“why are we in here?” you looked over to harry who had already taken a seat on the sofa.

“i thought you’d want more privacy,” he grinned at you. harry’s attitude towards the whole thing was starting to irritate you instead now. why was he acting like this whole thing was so casual? did it not affect him like it did you?

“you’re kidding right? what even is this?” you scoff at him, crossing your arms across your chest. you were pissed.

harry’s brows creased in confusion, “what’s the matter?”

“what’s the matter? how can you ask me that? things are different now harry and you know it.”

he knew it. he just couldn’t find the courage to tell you that he’d wanted things to be this way for the past 2 years. it’s why he was constantly cracking jokes or messing around with you, making you smile and laugh brought him more joy then anything else in his life. it’s why he was so overwhelmed by white hot jealousy when he saw your mouth around that arsehole sound tech’s dick.

“jesus, y/n we’re friends aren’t we? why do we have to talk about that anyway, we’re having fun.”

“because harry,” you huff at him, “unlike you my feelings are a little bruised from last nights events.”

his eyes momentarily filled with guilt, “i know that was- not decent of me.”

“uh you think? i love you harry but you’re not pulling this crap on me again,” you tried to sound stern but his eyes melted you. you looked away but his hand reached for yours. this was it though. your temper had gotten the better of you and you were ready to leave him here and say goodbye to any relationship you formerly had with him. if he did anything again to you like he did last night you were sure your dignity would crumble into unfixable pieces. sighing, you finish off by telling him, “i can’t do this anymore harry.”

“i don’t want to lose you,” harry’s eyes were filled with pleading.

“you should have thought about that before i put your cock in my mouth,” you snapped at him. you hated to admit that saying out loud what you and harry had done had turned you on immensely. harry’s pupils dilated in synchronisation with yours. he played right into this.

“so you’d never do it again?” why was he asking you this?

“no. i wouldn’t.” he wouldn’t get the satisfaction of knowing what he did to you anymore. even though the sight of him with his half buttoned silk shirt, damp with sweat as he lounged on the settee, his high waisted trousers spread apart along his long legs made your legs feel like mush. your voice was so convincing that harry’s face fell and in an instant you wanted to eat your words.

“y/n, i’m sorry if i overstepped,” he stood up and wiped his hands on his trousers, “do you wanna just go back to being friends?”

there was only one right answer to that question;

“fuck no.”

you jumped harry then and there and he fell back onto the padded seat, hands strongly gripping your waist. you quickly kissed him and in shock you retreated, your eyes locking, before connecting your lips with him again. his hands move south to your hips and then to your buttocks, giving your scantily clad cheeks a squeeze. you knew from a past discussion harry was an ass man, after a few drinks together one night you were talking about likes and dislikes. it reminded you of one preference in particular. grabbing a fistful of his hair, you tugged it gently and an audible moan fell in between his lips against yours.

“fuck, y/n do that again,” he mumbled into your mouth and you responded with another pull on his curls. his hips jerked up to meet the middle of your legs and between the thin material of his trousers and nothing covering your crotch other then the thin material of your underwear, little was left to the imagination. you could feel harry’s erection growing the more your hand tangled into his hair. your bare thighs clutched tightly by harry’s hands and you could tell they were longing to hold your bare ass. with your other hand on harry’s bicep, you moved it down to his hand and guided it up along your cheek and he hummed in satisfaction.

“hey harry,” you spoke into the kiss, “you remember california?”

how could he forget- you had spent the whole day drinking on the beach and that was where you had confessed about all your likes and dislikes, giggling like little kids the whole time. who knew that several months later that secret information would become so beneficial?

“what about it?” he asked as your lips traced down his neck to his chest.

“do you remember what i told you?”

a switch flipped in harry’s head and he suddenly knew what you wanted. his thigh came between your legs and you put your weight onto it eagerly, and his hands rocked you back and forth on the cotton of his slacks. the friction was exactly what you needed and you had never been more thankful that harry had listened so intently to your confession; you loved dry humping.

harry’s gaze was on you as you continued to grind on him, and the sight was enough to turn him from semi to fully hard.

“does that feel good?” harry asked you and you were too shy to answer him, only whimpering in response, “tell me y/n.”

“it feels so good harry,” you moaned out. your pace had begun to quick as you needily searched for your release. you could feel your wetness seeping into the material against his thigh and a faint squelching noise could be heard underneath your mewls of satisfaction. your hand fell across the bridge of his nose, outlining his sharp cheekbone and rest along his neck, licking his lips as he watches you get yourself off on him.

on a normal occasion, you’d be too embarrassed to ever ride someone’s thigh, it made you the centre of their attention and that frightened you. but knowing that harry’s undivided recognition was different. you loved having his hands and eyes all over your body. not that he knew, but it was his after all. if he wanted it to, it could belong to him.

“harry,” you gasped, “i’m going to cum.”

to know he was about to witness your undoing just like you’d seen his thrilled him.

“cum for me y/n,” harry pushed your hips for you, gripping the flesh of your ass, and rolling you back and forth till you let out a sob as you came all over his thigh. your forehead fell onto harry’s shoulder as you recollected yourself. that was the first time you had ever cum just from humping. and it was on harry’s leg. the familiar blush crept up your arms to your neck and cheeks and you couldn’t bare to lift your head off of harry’s shoulder.

“y/n,” harry’s voice gently interrupted, “not to rush you or anything but my trousers really are soaked.”

his fingers slid down your thighs to help you off of his leg, your own like that of a baby deer. you weren’t expecting harry to unbuckle his belt and slip his trousers off his legs, the thick wet patch taking up a lot of the fabric.

“what are you doing?”

“well you don’t expect me to keep them on do you?”

“i sort of thought you’d just leave again.”

harry’s face flushed in shame, “i am really sorry i did that last time, y/n. it was a dick move.”

“just a little,” you give him a half smile to let him know you couldn’t stay mad at him. stood in awkward silence, your panties dripping with your cum and harry in nothing but a shirt and boxers, you didn’t know what to say. it wasn’t common that you’d find an uncomfortable lack of words to say to harry.

finally, after one too many moments in silence, harry beckoned you with his finger, “c’mere.”

suddenly you found yourself snugly wrapped in his arms, your cheek to his chest as he held you.

“harry i-“

“don’t just yet please.”

so you stayed that way for a little longer. you realised that this could be the last chance you hold him like this, so you mentally noted every last thing about him you loved. his smell, typically of gucci, but underneath the artificial scent a more clean, personal one of clean bedding and shampoo. his arms, and how their length seemed to engulf you better than any of the softest, plushest bedding in existence. his lips that you could feel on the top of your head and how the feeling of them on your own was tattooed to you now. you knew that if you ever kissed anyone in the future it couldn’t penetrate the lasting layer of his.

he pulled away from you a few moments later, looking down over you. searching his eyes for any clues to his own thoughts from under your lashes, you found nothing. it didn’t mean you were expecting what came next.

as you started, “i understand if you don’t want to do this anymo-“

“i love you.”

the words hung in the air in stunned silence, and you were in too much of a state of shock to know how to take them. he loved you? was he saying the way he always did or did he mean he loved you the way you loved him?

“harry you don’t mean that you.. does that mean you, like, love-me-love-me?” you sounded like a teenager, your juvenile question was all you could muster up.

“i’ve always loved you y/n,”

“i know you have bu-“

“will you just let me finish please?” his fingers pressed against your lips to silence you, “you always talk without actually listening. let me a second please.

“i realised that you’ve never been my friend. don’t interrupt. you were never my friend because you were always like way more than that. friend seemed too small a word for us, you know? and then that day after i saw you and that shitty sound tech fucking in your room i was so angry and jealous and then i realised how much i wanted to be in his place. but you and me had already had such a good relationship i was worried i would ruin it by changing our dynamic. then on the night i met camila, you were so distant from me. i was upset and camila was into me so i was going to fuck her, but i couldn’t. i haven’t had sex with anyone since i saw you and-“

“his name was josh.”

“y/n i really couldn’t give a fuck what his name was. but anyway last night that prick wouldn’t leave you alone and i had to do something, and i wasn’t planning on taking things where they went but by the time you’d brought up my tattoos i was in too deep. i hate that i left you last night. i wanted to say all of this then, but i was too scared. so i left and hoped things would go back to normal between us. but our normal is nothing compared to what we had last night.”

overwhelmed, you sat down on the settee, leaning back to accommodate all of this information.

“so you want to be with me?” you asked him, still not believing it for yourself.

harry beamed at you, “i know, crazy right?”

“i just- i,” you stuttered over your lack of words.

“you don’t have to feel the same why i just figured it was best to be honest.”

you couldn’t help it, but you snorted at him, “you’re kidding right? i have not wanted anything more in my entire life.“

harry knelt down in front of you, and from this height you to were level. you could see eye to eye as equals now. his lips came to your forehead and softly kissed you there, your eyes fluttering closed. it was contentment to know he was finally yours. moving even closer to you, harry moved your legs aside and came between them and you had to prevent him from getting too close so your still-damp panties didn’t come into contact with his expensive shirt.

“you know,” you could feel harry’s lips turn upwards into a smirk on your forehead, “this means you don’t have to feel quite as worried about me fucking you anymore. i’m yours now, y/n.”

he lowered onto the back of his heals, taking his head to the level of your breasts, and he moved back a bit to take in the sight of you. you had to have been a mess, your black eyeliner probably smudged and your hair knotted around your head. your legs were still wide apart, giving harry the greatest opportunity to see under your little tartan skirt.

his pupils widen at the sight, “i can’t believe i’ve never seen you in a skirt like this before. you look so cute in it. it gives me great opportunity to do this,” his hands slid up your thighs slowly and surely, eventually coming down so that they were on the inside of your legs, just before your crotch. you were at his mercy at this angle, and he used it to his advantage. his long fingers brushed up against your clothed core and you whimpered at the sensitivity.

“are you still sore from earlier?”

you nodded and swallowed the nervous lump in your throat. his fingers moved up towards your hips, bumping your clit in the process and grabbed the sides of your tight underwear. pulling them down your legs, he got to see your pussy for the very first time. mouth practically salivating at the sight of your already wet lips, he began kissing along the insides of your legs, working inwards from the knee. he stopped at the edge of your thighs, teasing you with no touch. you hips were writhing at the need for contact and he pinned your thighs down, restricting you.

“i want to undress you first.”

his nimble fingers make quick work of the tiny buttons on your cardigan and it only just occurred to you that you’re not wearing a bra underneath. your bare sternum is exposed and you can tell harry is surprised to find you completely naked behind the cardi. slipping it off your shoulders, your perky breasts are finally unleashed for harry’s viewing.

“we never fucked,” you blurred out.

“what do you mean?”

“me and josh never had sex. i haven’t actually had sex in about two years.”

harry’s jaw sunk slightly at your confession, “but- how haven’t you?”

you felt embarrassed by this. no one ever compared to harry so why would you waste your time on them? you mostly only fooled around with josh because you needed a distraction from harry’s constant sex appeal.

“well josh and me never actually got around to it since he left the crew and aside from him there hasn’t been anyone else.”

you couldn’t believe you were saying this to him right after he’d undressed you, the air con hardening your nipples. harry couldn’t really concentrate on what you were saying, especially when his name was mentioned and your breasts were on full display to him. ignoring your rambling, harry’s mouth came down onto your right nipple, circling it with his tongue and ending your words with a gasp. your nipples were more sensitive then you’d initially realised, or maybe it was just because it was harry’s mouth encapsulating them, but the sensation felt like enough to make you cum from that alone.

“harry, i,” you sighed out breathily. sentences weren’t able to be formed presently, it was all too much. not for harry though, who had no qualms about saying, “i want to fuck you in nothing but that little skirt.”

you tried to press your thighs together, his words jolted down to your clit and you needed some kind of release. harry’s mouth went back to your boobs and down the valley in the middle, licking down it, to your pierced belly button and finally his head disappeared under your skirt. you instinctively placed your feet up on either side of the sofa to spread your pussy even further for his access.

his tongue mercilessly licked up from your taint to your clit and you bucked in delight. the muscle of his tongue pressed hard against the sensitive ball of nerves in quick movements, lapping at it rhythmically. you couldn’t control the volume of your moans now, cussing incoherently to him. but it wasn’t enough, you needed harry fully.

pulling his hair, you were so close to cumming but you couldn’t let it happen yet, not till he’d been inside you.

“harry stop,” you manage to get out, “i need you in me.”

he drew back as soon as you spoke and you leant forward to unbutton his shirt, but you lost your balance as you go forward, falling on top of him onto the cushioned floor. you both burst into giggles at your clumsiness, it was something that you joked about a lot together. you hadn’t loved anyone more then you loved harry right now, his chuckles like music to your ears as you lay on him nearly naked, his curls sat on his forehead.

“i love you,” harry told you, his hand cupping your cheek from below.

“i love you too,” leaning to kiss him, you moved your hand down and gripped his erection, forcing a moan from his lips, “now make love to me.”

he wasted no time in finishing off unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, and you ground your hips into his erection, forcing a groan from his lips. you were so close to feeling harry inside you, only boxers in the way of you two. you sat back and slipped them off his hips. before you got a chance to line him up with your walls, harry interrupted you, “are you in birth control?”

“yes,” you blushed. he smirked at you as he grabbed his hard cock in his hand and positioned it with you. you sunk down ont his cock, sighing is feel yourself being filled. you had craved this feeling for far too long, and harry filled you so well.

“fuck, y/n,” harry’s eyes closed when you engulfed him fully. adjusting, you began to bob up and down on his dick slowly, getting used to the foreign sensation. it stung a little bit as you hadn’t been filled in so long, but the need for harry numbed any of the pain. harry’s sweaty hands came up to cup your breasts, playing with your nipples as you began to quicken your pace.

“how do i feel inside you? does it feel good?”

you could only nod back, his cock hitting your g spot so well from this angle. as you began to speed up, your tits bounced delectably in front of harry’s face and he had to take over dominance, slamming his hips up to meet your own. his erection pounded into you, your mouth eliciting depraved whines. your skirt was swinging around your barely clothed ass and giving harry only sneaky glimpses of how the two of you were connected.

with harry’s hips moving more erratically, you could tell he was close.

you leant your mouth into his ear to whisper, “i want you to cum inside me.”

that was enough to tip harry over the edge, and so you could both finish together he reached his thumb under your skirt and thumbed your clit, sending your body into a heavenly orgasm. harry unloaded into your walls as you clenched around him, the both of you finishing in unison. flopping down onto his chest, he left his cock in you, both too fucked out to move yet. when he had softened, he slipped out of you, making you wince at the feeling.

“so,” you said into harry’s chest, “does that mean you’re mine now?”

his hand rubbed the small of your back, “i’m yours.”

#i’m sorry #harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles smut #harry style fan fiction #harry styles #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #one direction #one direction fanfiction #one direction smut #bestfriend!harry #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles icons #harry styles fic #fine line album #friends to lovers

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hockeyboysiguess · 4 years

Text

dear winter | c. parakyo

a/n: this one was entirely inspired by and written to dear winter by ajr. highly recommend listening to this while you read. this is your reminder that vince dunn isn’t the only player on the blues. enjoy!

warnings: a little swearing. otherwise, alllllll fluff.

word count: 6K

You sighed as you felt a firm kick to your bladder. You had to give it to her, your baby had great aim, something she’s definitely inherited from her dad since you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a baseball even if you were being coached through each movement. You rubbed your growing bump softly, a vain attempt to get her to relax, before you grabbed the full file box. Colton would be upset if he knew you were moving boxes without him. You loved Colton, god, did you ever love your husband, but he was treating you like you were going to break any second. He had as soon as you’d told him you were pregnant. You tried to fight him on it, but if Colton wanted something to go a specific way, there was pretty much nothing you could physically do about it. He was a physical immovable force. You settled for doing things when he wasn’t home.

You huffed out a loud breath as you sat down on the couch with what would be your fourth box of the day. You had been trying to go through everything in the room that was going to become “Little P’s” nursery, as Colton called her. You were also using it as an excuse to actually clean out your catch-all spare bedroom instead of just moving the problem of having too much stuff from the bedroom to the attic.

You sucked in a deep breath before blowing off the layer of dust from the top of the box. You lifted the lid and sighed. It was absolutely packed with papers and notebooks, Colton’s notebooks. He religiously kept notebooks, not a diary, not a journal. He rolled his eyes whenever you called them that, telling you that they weren’t diaries or journals because he wrote anything in them, from grocery lists, to hockey plays he thought of, gift ideas for you, anything. He also refused to get rid of a single one, much to your chagrin, but the least you could do was label them with the dates they contained to organize them. Thank god you’d pulled the label maker out for the last box so you didn’t have to get up. Getting up wasn’t your specialty anymore, thanks to Little P being a little less little since her father was a large human being.

You cracked open the first notebook after shaking off more dust, flipping to the first page to grab the date and the last page for the final one. Colton’s notebooks had never been any of your business. You thought he had every right to his private thoughts, something that had absolutely floored him when you started dating. Every other girl had tried to read over his shoulders, sneak a peak when he wasn’t around, but you trusted Colton, which is what you’d told him then and still told him now every time he picked up another notebook. The next notebook opened with a silly drawing, it made you giggle, but you didn’t pry further, simply adding your label and moving on to the next one.

Your brows furrowed when you came to a notebook toward the bottom. Unlike the rest, which were heavily worn in, the pages wrinkled and fanning out, making them appear thicker, this one was only partially started. The wear stopped about three-quarters of the way through it. You found it odd. Colton always finished everything he started, even if it was virtually impossible for him to do so. He was the least wasteful person you’d ever met. You shook off your thoughts. His notebooks were his business, not yours.

Still, regardless of you trying otherwise, your eyes flitted to the first entry in this notebook. The start of it pulled your eyes in unwillingly. It was a letter, a letter to someone else. Your heart sank and you slammed the notebook shut. No, you thought. Colton would never, but then who was he writing to? Your heart was aching in your chest. You trusted and loved your husband more than you ever thought possible for yourself, but your mind was running through possibilities and you needed to know. When your eyed scanned the first words, the tears started to slip out even though you willed them not to.

Dear Winter, I hope you like your name I hope they don't make fun of you When you grow up and go to school, okay? 'Cause Winter is a badass name

Colton’s words continued and your tears kept flowing.

Sorry if you don’t love it, baby girl, but I do and unfortunately for you, one me and one other person get to vote on it and I’m all in for it. Also, I’m not really sure where I got the idea to start this, but I’m two sentences in and I hope one day you think this is as cool as I do right now.

Anyway, I wanted to start by telling you what made me think of your name. I was walking through Forest Park (I’m playing for the Blues right now, in case that ever changes, so I’m in St. Louis) because I was having a pretty terrible day. I botched something at practice, couldn’t get the play right, and coach got angry at me. You probably know I don’t handle people being angry with me well because I doubt that’s ever going to go away. I found out the woman I was seeing actually cheated on me (I know, weird to read from me, but I hope you stick through this one) and I’m missing my family a lot today. (Side note: please come home more, Winter. I love you.)

So I was having a terrible day and decided to take a walk. It was chilly, but sort of comforting. It smelled like it was about to snow. I really hope you know that smell too, sort of like Christmas Eve, my favorite day of the year, as I also assume you know. Then, it started to snow. It was that beautiful, promising fluffy snow that makes me think of hot chocolate and peppermint and family. That’s when I really thought about you for the first time, Winter. I thought about us outside in our front yard, your mom on the front steps, and you catching snowflakes on your tongue. I thought about how you’d ask me to build a snowman with you, even though the snow wasn’t even sticking to the ground. I thought about you, Win. Winter. Some people hate winter. Some people love it. That’s also why it’s your name, Win. You might not be everyone’s cup of tea, Winnie, but that’s okay. You’re not meant to be for everyone. You’re meant to be exactly who are you as you’re reading this.

I'm hoping that some day, I can meet you on this Earth But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

Love, Dad :)

You placed your hand gingerly on your swollen stomach as the tears flowed freely. Colton wrote the first letter in the notebook seven and a half years before today. He’d been writing to her, the little girl still growing in your belly, for years, before you’d even moved to St. Louis let alone met Colton for the first time. Of course Winter would take that moment to kick you in the stomach. Winter. You loved her name too. You’d been racking your brain all day since you’d found out that Little P was a girl, not the boy you were convinced you were having based on your apparently flawed mother’s intuition, so when you found out Little P was a girl, you’d be wracking your brain all day for both a way to tell Colton and what you might name her. Somehow, even though he didn’t know yet, Colton had already taken care of another worry of yours, a man who didn’t know how to love you wrong.

You couldn’t stop yourself from turning to the next page to read the next entry. Unlike his notebook he used every day, the next entry picked up a few weeks later.

Dear Winter, I hope you talk to girls Or boys or anyone you like

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written to you, but I heard something out a bar that made me come home and immediately grab this notebook. Sorry if this is a little unclear. Dad’s just a little drunk right now, but I want you to know how important this is and I wanted to tell you as soon as possible.

This guy at the bar was being... absolutely awful, Win. This girl was just trying to have a good time with her friends. She was wearing a pin on her jacket with the pride flag on it. This guy started asking her about it. She shrugged, said she was bi, and she moved on. Except he didn’t move on. I heard him talking to his friends, talking terribly about her. He was talking about her sexuality and what it could do for him, how good it would be for him that she was bi. It didn’t sit with me right, so I warned her what he said and she said something that stuck with me so I wanted to tell it to you. She said, “God, thank you for telling me. I’m so fucking tired of guys sexualizing my sexuality for their own sexual gratification. It has nothing to do with them, you know? It’s my sexuality. It’s for me and me alone. I thought it got through all of the bad stuff when my parents kicked me out for it. It just keeps on coming, you know? Fucking sucks.”

Winnie, whoever you like, boys, girls, both, neither, people who don’t identify any particular way, if you know deep down you’re not my little girl, but you’re my son, I’m always, always, always, always going to love you. I will always be in your corner, Win. My love for you will never change. My support for you with never waiver. I will stand with you a pride parades. I will advocate for you. I will do anything I can to make sure you know you are loved and supported and that you can always come to me. I will always protect you, Winter. I will always love you.

If you’re reading this and you haven’t come out yet, the door is open, Win. And I’m standing right there, arms wide open, ready to love the truest version of you, the version of you that makes you feel like your most authentic, happy self. Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.

Love, Dad

You felt your heart pound hard in your chest. Colton had never wavered on loving whoever your baby was going to be, but this, this was something special. You took a deep breath and looked down at your bump again.

“He loves you so much,” you told her softly as you gently rubbed your bump. “You have the best dad in the entire world. I just hope my genes don’t screw you up too much.”

You flipped to the next entry, laughing to yourself at how it was filled with entirely with car buying advice. Apparently, Colton has just bought a car the day he wrote it and he was keen on sharing his newfound wisdom with Winter. He also talked about how he was going to help Winter buy her first car and exactly what that would entail. It was such dad advice, but somehow it was perfect and it was Colton.

You kept reading, an entry an unknown amount of dates deep, caught your eye. You weren’t sure how deep into this you really were. You were flying through entries, Colton’s loving words pulling you through each page at a lightening pace. This one caught you eye though.

It really doesn't seem like there's anyone for me But dear Winter, I hope you like your name You know I cannot wait to teach you how to curse But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

You think your mom is going to like that I’m cursing in these letters? Probably not. But hopefully she’ll deal. I mean, I play hockey. Cursing is part of the game basically. I hope I teach you well. :)

You know, Win, I saw a couple out at a restaurant today and they were so in love. I, on the other hand, got stood up on a date today. Super fun, right? And super weird to hear from your dad, but it’s the truth. As smooth as I’ve tried to make myself look your whole life, Dad’s not really all that fucking smooth, Winnie.

But anyway, I wanted to tell you that it doesn’t matter if you ever find someone, Win. I wanted to tell you this because I need to hear it right now and even if when you first read this, you don’t need to hear it, I’m betting at some point in your life you will need it. You can achieve every single dream you have without a partner. You can have the life you want. You can have a family. You can make a beautiful life for yourself all on your own. Because you aren’t looking for your other half. You’re a goddamn full, beautiful, powerful person all by yourself. You are complete just as you are and that’s fucking amazing, Winnie.

Am I writing this for you in the future or me now? That’s debatable, but someday you’re going to need a reminder that you are a galaxy of beautiful, stunning possibilities. You are the sun, moon, stars, planets, and everything in between. A galaxy doesn’t need anyone or anything else. Always remember that anyone you let into your life should be in wonder at the galaxy that is you.

Sorry, Dad’s going to get off his weird soapbox now and go to bed. I’ll write you soon. Pinky promise :)

Love always, Dad

You gripped the notebook tightly in your hands, careful not to wrinkle the pages. You briefly thought about how you’d never read one of his notebooks before so maybe pregnancy hormones weren’t the best time to start, but this notebook was for someone. It was for the baby in your belly, so you kept reading.

Dear Winter,

I met someone today. I don’t want to say too much, in case it doesn’t work out. It never really works out for me, does it, Winnie? I hope a) that your mom has much better luck with men than I do with women and b) that you inherit her luck. At least I got her phone number, right? Maybe I can figure out how to sounds less like a guy that really like writing in notebooks and puzzles and more like a guy who is all about parties and adventure?

Actually, no, Win. No. Don’t listen to that. Be whoever you want to be, whatever that looks like. If some guy doesn’t like you because you’re a homebody, reject him and toss him out in the street. He’s clearly no good. Be whoever you want to be, Win. A homebody, a busy body, whoever that is, I’ve got your back for the rest of my life.

(Side note: this girl is super, super pretty and she’s wicked smart with an incredible sense of humor. Kind of hoping this one works out? If not, then I guess on to the next one, right? If not, I’ve got to meet your mom one day, Win. We’ll see when it happens, I guess.)

Love, Dad

Your eyes scanned back up the page to the date. You breath hitched it your throat when you saw it and your hand came over your mouth as your eyes started to fill with tears again. It was about you. That was the day you met Colton for the first time. That memory was burned into your brain forever because it was honestly one of the worst days of your life, until Colton walked in.

You were about to give up. Four cups of coffee at varying degrees of strength had done nothing to stimulate an idea in your brain. Well, it would have been five cups of coffee if you hadn’t spilled the third cup down yourself and stained your favorite sweatshirt that was now a crumpled mess in your backpack. Despite that, you were still face to face with a blank Word document that needed to be six pages long by midnight tonight, which was less than twelve hours away. Procrastination always got the better of you. Today was no exception.

You had opened your day with a trip to the dentist and of course, you had a cavity. You didn’t realize until you got back to your car that your house key wasn’t on your key ring, so you couldn’t go home and your roommate was going to be out all day, so you’d had to post up in your fourth favorite local coffee shop as shops one through three were completely packed. You’d had to park six blocks over because you couldn’t find a spot. All of this chaos had wasted almost two hours you were supposed to be working. Then there was the spilled coffee, which you spilled because your terrible ex-boyfriend had shown up and tried to talk to you. In an effect to escape, the coffee had gotten spilled. To boot, after actually drank coffee number three, your mom had called you and told you your childhood dog had cancer. It was just one of those days. She was fifteen, so you couldn’t say she didn’t live a good, long life. Still, it was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

Your music was blaring in your eyes. You were rapidly flipping through Spotify trying to find something that might provide some inspiration. You sighed and rested against the back of the chair as your head fell back. You let out a long sigh and carded your fingers through your hair. Ideas or not, you needed to get started. That went out the window when you saw a large man standing next to your table when you lifted your head. He gave you a sweet smile and a small wave. Your eyes rolled up and down him quickly. He was massive, broader and taller than most people you knew. His size could make him intimidating, but there was something cautious and nervous about the way he moved. One of his large hands was shifting around his iced coffee. The other was fidgeting in his pocket. His smile was kind and inviting. His shoulder were low, hunkering down as if to try and look smaller than he was. It was his eyes that took your breath away for a second, a pair of beautiful baby blues framed by dark glasses.

You yanked one of your headphones out of your ears and raised your eyebrows at him.

“Hi,” he said softly. “Um, all the other tables are full. Do you mind if it sit? I’ve got an appointment in half an hour, so I won’t be in your hair for too long.”

You almost stuttered, but pulled yourself together in time to say, “Oh, yeah, sure.”

He thanked you with a sweeter, wider smile as he dropped down into the chair opposite you. He dwarfed it, and the small table you had stationed yourself at. He was just slightly too big for everything around him, but he didn’t seem to mind much.

“I’m Colton, by the way,” he told you as he opened up a book you hadn’t realized he’d been carrying.

You told him your name softly before you tried to get back to work. Every minute you had was precious at this point to meeting your deadline. Beautiful man or not, you had to get this done. Except he seemed to have other ideas.

“What are you working on?” he asked you after a few minutes. You’d caught him eyeing you as you finally got some sort of an idea, so your fingers were blazing across your keyboard.

“Oh, just this project for work,” you answered flatly, not even looking up from your screen or pausing your furious typing to answer. “I got into this fight with my boss about it because I think her premise is wrong, so I’ve been having some issues trying to write this condensed summary of her position considering I disagree with it. But, hey, a job’s a job, right? At least I’m employed enough to keep my cat fed, the hungry bastard, and support my own coffee habits without a sugar daddy.”

Colton laughed and like your life had sudden become a movie, the sound took your breath away. You couldn’t stop a smile from pulling up the corners of your lips as he laughed. His laugh sort of made you forget how embarrassing what you’d just said was.

“Is he fat?” Colton asked before quickly adding. “Your hungry cat, is he a fat bastard as well as a hungry one?”

“The fattest bastard of them all,” you laughed as grabbed your phone from next to your laptop to show him a photo.

Colton whistled when he saw the photo and nodded softly.

“Put a ribbon on him and you could enter him as a prized heifer in the county fair,” Colton joked, making you smile widely, your first genuinely thrilled smile all day.

“I got him fat from the shelter,” you tried to explain. “I’m trying to put him on a diet, but he’s just not having it. Honestly can’t blame him. Diets are dumb. But the fatso won’t exercise. I got him one of those cat wheels, like a giant hamster wheel but for cats. He barely fits on it and even on the days he finds his balance enough to fit on it, he won’t use it. I’ve sort of thrown in the towel.”

“I think he’s decided how he wants to be in life and you might just have to accept it,” Colton told you. “I’ll stop bugging you, sorry. I said I wouldn’t.”

With that, he turned his attention to his book and you went back to your paper. You sat across from him for the next thirty minutes, occasionally taking glances over at him. You found out later on that he keep looking up at you over the top edge of his book the whole time. You somehow just never caught each other.

As Colton got up to leave, he paused for a second with his phone in his hand, spinning it nervously.

“Um, I know this is probably sort of random and you’re probably not interested, but would you maybe want to get coffee again sometime you don’t have to do work?” Colton asked you, stumbling over practically ever other word on his way to asking you on a date.

You smiled softly as the memory faded out. You placed your hand on your bump again. Thank god the first three coffee shops had been full that day. You gently turned to the next page then the next one and the next one, stopping when the start of another grabbed you.

Dear Winter, don't move too far away And please don't say I'm hovering When I text you to ask about your day I wanna hear about your day Will we still hang out and talk when I'm no longer in charge?

I’m sorry if you ever think I’m hovering, Win, but I promise you, I just want to hear about your day, every single day. Sorry if you move far away for some incredible opportunity and I don’t handle it super well. You know me, your old man, I just want you to be able to catch up with you whenever I want to. I’m a little selfish that way, I guess.

Who knows? Maybe by the time you move, teleportation will be real :)

But if you can, Winter, try and stay close to home. I miss my parents a lot, more than I can properly explain. I know you’re going to be so cool and smart and amazing and you won’t need me someday, but I hope you want me around anyway, even though I’m a lot sometimes.

(Side note: That girl I talked about a while ago, she’s the one who made me think of this letter. I told her I was scared I was hovering too much, that I was smothering her, and she told me she wanted me around even more. I think you’d like her, Win.)

Hold on for someone who cares about you exactly as you are and loves the way you care about people. You shouldn’t have to change the way you care for someone. They should just feel it.

Love, Dad

(P.S. Whenever you read this, please come home for a visit, even if you were here yesterday. I’ve definitely missed you since then.)

Your mind flashed back to Colton’s first road trip a few months after you started dating. You had a busy day, absolutely packed with meetings and work, so you’d barely had any time to glance at your phone all day. When you finally had a second to glance at it on the way to your car, you groaned. Two missed calls and four texts from Colton. Of course, the day he managed to find some time away from the guys to call you when you were supposed to be done with work, you had been kept late and missed him.

You were already dialing his number as you dropped into your driver’s seat to begin the traffic-filled journey home. Colton answered on the second ring.

“Hey.”

Your brows furrowed at his tone. He was trying hard to sound calm, but you could hear the nerves edging at each letter. He swallowed hard, hard enough you could hear it over the phone.

“What’s up, babe?” you asked him as you slowly backed out of your parking space. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing,” he said too quickly. He knew he’d said it too quickly the second it had left his mouth. He sighed and you heard some rustling on his end of the phone, following by a door being shut. “I’m sorry I bugged you today.”

“What?” you asked, even more confused than you had been previously as you turned on your right blinker. “You didn’t bug me, Colt. I asked you to call if you were free anytime outside my work hours. I just ended up working late today, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay.”

You could tell there was still something bothering him. His pitch was too high, responses too short. He was still on edge, something bigger dancing on the tip of his tongue. He knew you knew. You could read him like an open book even through the phone and he knew better than to not tell you when he was upset. “Relationships thrive with windows and doors open,” was what you always told him, and it takes two people to keep them open all the time.

“Am I hovering?” he blurted out. “Am I bothering you? I just, when I called you again, the guys started-”

“Those idiots that couldn’t keep a girl if they had a carefully curated list of instructions from the girl they liked to tell them how to keep her? They don’t know anything,” you jumped in. “You’re not bothering me, Colt. You never bother me. I want as much of you as I can get. If my life was you just and me, having our favorite lazy Saturday where we go to the farmer’s market, play Scrabble, make bad cocktails, and cook unnecessarily complex dinners before we watch some niche movie practically no one else on the planet has ever seen, I’d be so unbelievably happy. I want as much of you as I can have, Colt, and sometimes I feel like I’m asking for too much. You’re not hovering. I want you right here.”

“You’re not asking for too much,” he replied. Of course, Colton would ignore everything you had said to comfort him in favor of comforting you. “You’re sure I’m not too much? I can do less, if that would be better for you. I can, fuck, I don’t know, whatever you need.”

“Colton, I love you,” you sighed. “That’s the easiest thing in the world to say to you. I love you, Colton. I love loving you. I love being loved by you. At least, god, I hope you love me back because now I’m realizing we’ve never actually said that and I’m sort of freaking out, but I love learning to love you better and I love finding new ways to show you I love you. Today’s way is actually telling you I do, I guess.”

“Of course I love you too.”

Colton’s words had reminded you of a prayer, a prayer of a grateful man whose longing, desperate words to something out there that he’d whispered ages ago had finally been answered. You didn’t know how long he’d felt it, definitely longer than you, but love wasn’t a competition. There wasn’t a yardstick, a to-do list, or a formula. Love was whatever you made it to be. You loved Colton, and finally told him, and he loved you, and finally told you. That day, that was all either of you needed.

That day was so clear in your mind. It was the day that set your life on the path it was on, the day that really had started the path that ended up with little Winter being more than a figment in Colton’s mind when he wrote these letters. She was real and you were going to meet her in just a few short months. Your mind wandered forward, seeing Winter’s wide baby blue eyes, you imagined she’d look like Colton as well, hoping your genes didn’t taint his too much to ruin her, as Colton had her sitting on his broad shoulders, securing her safely to him with hands around her ankles as you walked through the zoo. She would be pointing at each animal, tugging on his hair, making sure he saw each and every one. He would be patient, kind, and caring, matching Winter’s excitement in kind with each animal. You would catch him on Google the night before, making sure he knew at least one random, uncommon fact about each one for her, just to make her day. That was the kind of thing Colton said he would do for her to you when you’d shown him the positive pregnancy test, and one of an ever-expanding, never finished lists of reason you wanted to have kids with him.

You sighed as you felt her flip over in your stomach. She was constantly in motion, something that brought you peace because it told you she was healthy, but as much comfort as it brought you, it brought you more discomfort at the very feeling. You shifted on the couch as you turned to the next entry.

Dear Winter, I hope you like your name I hope you let me take a shot with you on your twenty-first But shit, you gotta ask your mom first

I really hope you let me take a shot with you on your birthday. I’m asking because I was at a restaurant early today and saw the dad order two shots of tequila at a five star restaurant for him and his daughter, who had to be about twenty-one when her birthday dessert came out. She thought it was hilarious and you could tell she she did the shot with him that she loved her dad a ton. So naturally I thought of doing it with you. I know you’re definitely not going to think I’m cool by then, and you could be living in Canada instead where the drinking age is lower, but either way, I hope you don’t mind taking a shot with your old man.

But, even if you don’t think I’m cool, even if we have to do the shot together over Facetime, even if Facetime doesn’t exist and you have to text me to ask me what it means when you read this, I hope we do one together. I promise, your old man could drink once, Win!

So, go ask your mom and I’ll break out the good tequila for you! :)

Love, Dad

You would definitely have to approve of the aforementioned tequila shot now that he’d been planning it for almost twenty-five years based on when this was written and when Winter would be twenty-one base on her estimated birthday. You laughed lightly and shook your head. Colton was already winning parenting debates with you and he didn’t even know it. Actually, maybe he did. It would be Colton to have planned this all out just so. You smiled as you flipped to the next entry.

Dear Winter, I'm looking for your mom I gotta find a girl that doesn't mind that I'm inside my head a lot Winter, it won't be too long First, I just gotta find your mom

This whole writing to you as I’ve looked for your mom is how this whole notebook started.

And Winter, boy do I have some good news about your existence for you.

That girl I mentioned a while back? I asked her to marry me today. And somehow, she said yes.

I found her, Win. I found your mom. She’s the most incredible person I’ve ever met in my entire like, that is, until I meet you. And, Winnie, she’s so excited to meet you too someday.

Here’s hoping she likes your name :)

Love, Dad

Your eyes were filled with tears again and you were so caught up in the moment, you missed the sound of Colton fusing with the lock on the front door as he entered the house.

“Baby? Why are you crying? Is everything okay? Is Little P okay? How was the appointment?”

Colton’s questions were flying out of his mouth almost faster than you could understand. You heard his gym bag hit the floor and his feet hit heavy on the hardwood as he rushed over to you. Colton rounded the back of the couch and stopped when he saw what was in your hands. You closed the notebook gently in your hands, careful with the soft leather binding, before pulling the elastic over to keep it closed. You turned your head toward your husband. He was white as a sheet, nervousness coating his features. His baby blue eyes were jumping between your puffy eyes, your stomach, and the notebook in your hands impossibly fast. He swallowed hard, waiting for you to say something because his mind was running too fast toward the brick wall of having to ask you what you thought about what was in your hands to actually speak.

“Colt,” you breathed out softly before placing a hand on your stomach again, “Little P is a girl.”

“A girl? Really? I’m going to be a girl dad? Really?”

Colton’s voice cracked with each word and tears began to spill over almost instantly as he sank onto the couch beside you. Hesitantly, as if he didn’t know if he was still allowed to, he reached a hand out toward your stomach. You grabbed his large hand with both of yours and placed it on your swollen belly.

“Do you want to tell her what her name is?” you asked him softly.

His eyes snapped up to meet yours. He took his bottom lip between his teeth and looked at with cautious, hesitant joy.

“You like it?” Colton asked you, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I love her name, Colton, and since you came up with it, I think she should hear her for the first time from her incredible dad who already loves her more than she can possibly understand.”

You reached a hand out to cup Colton’s face as you spoke. He leaned softly into your hand, his free hand cupping over yours, completely dwarfing it. He smiled at you softly before he placed a gentle kiss onto your palm, a silent way of telling you he loved you. His fingers wrapped around your hand, pulling it down to your belly along with his as his eyes shifted to it.

“Hey, Winter, it’s me, your dad.”

#colton parayko #colton parayko imagine #colton parayko writing #Hockey Fanfiction #hockey writing #hockey imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl blurbs #nhl imagine

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baepop · 3 years

Text

PRIVATE // 12

You crash Jennie’s wedding rehearsal.

Word Count: 6k

Pairing: Jungkook x You x Jennie

Genre: Angst

Tag List: kooshousemaid (send me a message if you want to be added)

A/N: Sorry this update took so long! I already have the rest of the story outlined so the next part should be out soon. Please pray for me as I write part 13’s smut. It is inciting an unprecedented level of gay panic

At first, you were in disbelief, asking them to go over it again and hoping it made more sense the second time around. Yoongi sighed and put his fork down, explaining the plan again but this time using his hands to make the explanation more visual for you. You fought the urge to roll your eyes.

The four of you were at Jisoo’s apartment helping yourselves to a lavish assortment of breakfast dishes she had no hand in making. Her apartment was grand, like Jennie’s, but decorated much differently. Jisoo’s place had a more clinical feel to it, an environment so sterile that an unfortunate doctor might not hesitate to do surgery in. It had made you uncomfortable the second you stepped in.

You pushed your food around your plate, taking a moment to process everything. When you had woken up this morning, your only thoughts were of Jungkook and how warm the bed was, finally being able to relax and feel as if everything might be okay after all. A few hours later and your hard work was all undone. You were thinking about Jennie again, or rather stressing over her again.

Her wedding was in less than 2 weeks. You’d all have to leave as soon as possible in hopes of getting some alone time to be able to talk and say everything that needed to be said, that’s even if she was willing to listen. Memories from the day she left echoed in your mind, her determination to break up with you protesting your aspirations. She was gone because she wanted to be. You wouldn’t be going there to rescue her, you’d be going there to mess with her plans. Was it possible to change her mind and make her want to come back after all this time?

During these past few months you’d already thought of everything you ever wanted to say to her, everything you should’ve said even before the day she left. You were hesitant about being on board with the plan, but you had to admit that you two needed a proper ending, if you two were truly going to move on with your lives. You didn’t want to spend the rest of your life wondering what if. You owed it to everyone to go to Korea and lay everything out on the table before burying your romance with Jennie for good.

You sighed, finally looking up from your plate. “Okay. Fine…when do we leave?” You looked at everyone around the table. Jungkook placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a squeeze to show he was there for you, knowing this wouldn’t be easy at all. He’d had a front row seat to the aftermath of your breakup with Jennie, so he of all people knew what going to Korea could entail.

“In a few days. I managed to work it out with my coach and Raphael, so we only have a short amount of time to pull this off.”

Your hand paused as you were about to spoon some oatmeal into your mouth, “Since when do you talk to Raphael?”

“Since I stopped by the shop one day to see if you were at work. We got to talking. He loves me.” Jungkook beams you his famous crooked smile and you couldn’t help but smile in return but not without rolling your eyes. The image of grumpy old Raphael smitten by Jeon Jungkook was a funny mental image. But you couldn’t imagine people not taking an instant liking to Jungkook, he had a special way of quickly becoming one’s favorite person. Well, except for Jennie of course. She was always the exception.

The rest of the meal was spent hammering out the details of your trip. You’d be staying at Yoongi’s parents’ house with Jungkook, and you’d be crashing the wedding rehearsals in hopes of getting a moment alone with the bride-to-be.

You weren’t exactly sure what the plan was after you saw her. You knew your friends couldn’t help you there, so you were nervous about facing her alone after all this time. With the distance she had put in between you two, not just physically but also emotionally, was there even anything left to say that would make a difference?

You supposed the most important part of the trip was to get closure for you both, to not leave anything left unsaid so that she knew she had a choice apart from walking down the aisle. You silently worked hard to extinguish any flame of hope inside of you that suggested she might come back home with you.

You stared at your engagement ring that was catching the light in the room and reflecting it dazzlingly so, turning it around and around on your finger as you thought about your own impending wedding.

If Jungkook hadn’t proposed, would Jennie still be here? Or would she have left eventually? Her words rang clear as a bell in your head: I can’t stay here and play girlfriend forever.

You sighed as you looked up from your hand just in time to catch Jisoo’s fleeting gaze. She had been staring at your engagement ring before you caught her. Instead of saying whatever was clearly on her mind, she turned away and decided to take her plate to the kitchen. You quirked your brow, finding it odd of her not to have anything to say for once, so you took this opportunity to follow her under the pretense of washing your own plate while Jungkook and Yoongi were busy talking.

Her back was turned to you in front of the running faucet. You joined her by the counter, making it obvious that you wanted to talk.

Clearing your throat, “I know Jungkook told you about our engagement. He tells you everything. Honestly, I was prepared to bring pepper spray to work afterward in case you showed up there again.” You didn’t expect her to laugh at your joke, a scoff maybe, but total silence was eerie coming from her. “Did you…tell his parents?”

She shook her head, taking your plate out of your hands and running it under the water. Your eyebrows shot up. Briefly, an image of Jungkook lecturing Jisoo about not being problematic ran through your mind. That seemed too good to be true, however. Something was wrong.

“What, that’s it? No snarky remark? No speech about us making a mistake? The last time we spoke you were trying to convince me to leave him and now we’re engaged, figured you’d want to stab me with your heel first chance you get.” When she didn’t respond, you shut off the faucet so she couldn’t pretend to ignore you anymore.

The slight girl sighed and finally turned towards you. “Fine. You want to talk? Let’s talk. Of course I think you’re making a huge mistake. Anyone who would tell you this is at all normal would be flat out lying. But I don’t know why you need me to tell this to you because you know it’s true already. You both do. I’m only playing along with this ‘happily engaged’ charade because Jungkook is going to need someone there for him once this all blows up in his face. But who will be there for you?”

You stared at Jisoo long after she stopped talking, even as she dried her hands and walked back into the dining room. You were already conditioned to not harp on whatever hurtful things she had to say about you and your relationship with Jungkook, but one thing you noticed that she never did was lie. She may be overly opinionated, but never intentionally deceitful that you knew of. So when she went out of her way to keep quiet about your engagement, a small seed of suspicion grew inside you. You had a feeling something was up, and after listening to what Jisoo had to say, it only made your fears grow. You both do.

Had Jungkook confided in her that he was having cold feet?

You scoffed and leaned back into the counter, looking down at your knees as you tried to think back to any moment where Jungkook might’ve seemed off. If you were being truthful with yourself, you weren’t sure you could be the best judge of that seeing as how you were only just now starting to be present again and not wasting your days away in bed.

You gnawed on your bottom lip trying not to get worried over nothing. This was Jisoo, after all. Anytime you and Jungkook were on bad terms, most of the time it was because of her. She was always in the way, stirring up drama. Maybe it was time for you to stop giving it the time of day. You looked at the back of Jungkook’s head, wondering if his feelings for you had changed at all once summer ended.

The next few days were a blur as you all prepared for your trip oversees. You turned your apartment upside-down trying to find your passport, and when you finally did, you were so glad it was still current.

You hadn’t left the country before, so you had no idea what to pack and what to leave behind. When Jungkook peaked at your luggage the night before leaving he couldn’t help but chuckle, seeing you pack 8 different pairs of pajamas and only one pair of jeans. When he asked you where your outlet converter was you almost threw yourself onto the bed and had a meltdown, only making the boy laugh harder.

And now that the day of your fight had finally arrived, you were nervous the instant you had gotten into your seat. This was all suddenly becoming much more real to you. You were several steps closer to seeing Jennie again, and the mere thought of meeting again had your heart racing and palms sweating. You were definitely on edge to say the least, which is why you really couldn’t entertain Jungkook’s jokes as the flight prepared to take off. You suspected he might’ve been trying to lighten the mood, seeing as how you were gripping the arm rests for dear life, but you couldn’t focus on him, not when you were on a flying death trap hurling you all 7,000 miles away from home and toward the woman that broke your heart.

After a short while, you felt the plane stop shaking. Everyone let out a collective breath before hushed conversations sprouted across the compact area. You felt Jungkook’s thumb rub circles into the back of your hand which also helped to soothe your nerves. You looked over at him and smiled. His eyes were large and curious, probably realizing he’d never seen you this nervous before.

“Sorry,” You smiled at him sheepishly, “I’ve never flown before so…” Jungkook’s eyes widened with realization.

“Aw don’t worry. If we die, at least we’ll have died together.” You quirked your brow at him in a way that said not helping. He smirked and leaned his head back against his seat, his curly hair falling along his forehead and his earing swaying back and forth. His eyes became half lidded as they drank in the features of your face for the millionth time. When he spoke, it was just soft enough for you to hear and no one else. “You know what neither of us have yet to do then?”

“Die in a plane crash?” You remarked dryly which made the boy’s smile turn crooked.

“Other than that.”

You hummed in thought, already having an inkling as to wear this conversation was going with the way Jungkook was watching your lips instead of your eyes. You leaned your head back against the seat and waited for him to tell you what he was thinking.

“You see, there’s this club. A very exclusive club.” Jungkook pretended to look around to make sure no one was listening in on this top-secret conversation which made you giggle uncontrollably. He was so good at making you forget where you were.

“Ah, I see. And uh, how did you hear about this exclusive club if it’s such a secret?” You challenged him, though your eyes were alight with humor.

“Well, I have connections. The point is,” He leaned in and wiggled his eyebrows, “I think you and I should join this club.” You rolled your eyes and shoved him a bit, unable to bite back your giggle at his theatrics. He smiled and tugged on one of your loose curls, letting it spring back to your face playfully.

“You wouldn’t be referring to,” You looked over your shoulder quickly before turning back to the boy whose eyes were now crescent moons with how wide his smile had become, “the mile high club??”

Jungkook shushed you dramatically. “So, you’ve heard of it?”

“I’m very well connected too you know.”

Jungkook hummed, most of the humor leaving his features, “I could think of a way for us to connect right now.”

“Jungkook!” You slapped a hand against his chest and laughed. God he was so cute even when he was being a pervert. You loved him so much.

Jungkook caught your hand on his chest with his and laced his fingers through yours, playing around with it as you contemplated what he was asking of you. You thought about how to go about it. It was already nightfall, so most people would be asleep in under an hour. You could tip toe into the bathroom at the end of the aisle and have him meet you in there. It looked like a tiny space, but you could make it work. Heaven only knows you’ve fucked Jungkook in worse places.

You bit your lip at the idea, your eyes raking over his body. It’d been a long while since you two had made love. He had probably been trying to be sensitive and give you the time you needed to grieve your relationship with Jennie, which you greatly appreciated, especially since it seemed he was dying to fuck you with the way his eyes were already undressing you. The fact that his jeans were already straining with your playful banter was proof of your theory.

Maybe it was time to show him how much you missed him and were craving his touch, but something gnawed at the back of your mind, clawing its way to the forefront of your thoughts until it had you hesitating to get up from your seat. Jungkook noticed your change in mood and a quirked a brow at you. After thinking for a moment, you slipped your hand out of his grasp and placed your palms on your lap, playing with your fingers nervously.

“Jungkook…did you…tell Jisoo you were having second thoughts about us?” With your eyes still trained down at your lap, you waited to hear his response, and when he stayed quiet, the feeling of dread inside you finished prying its way out and filled your entire body with a weight almost too much to bear. You looked over at Jungkook who had turned his head toward the ceiling and away from you. His expression was unreadable, so you waited for him to either blow up or fess up. After a moment, he sighed, turning to look at you with worried eyes as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“What exactly did she say to you?”

“I knew it.” You crossed your arms and shook your head, turning away from him in disbelief.

He sucked his teeth and ran a hand through his locks in exasperation. “Why do you always do this!? Why do you let her get inside your head and cause problems between us?”

Your eyebrows knitted as your head snapped in his direction. “This isn’t about her!”

“Then what is this about?”

“This is about me and you! About you feeling the need to confide in her that you have doubts without even talking to me!”

“How could I talk to you?! You wouldn’t talk to anyone for months!” Jungkook sat back in his chair, pure frustration painted on his angelic features.

“That’s no excuse for me to have to hear about that from your cousin!”

Jungkook groaned, shutting his eyes for a moment. Your conversation had gotten louder, already attracting the attention of people surrounding you.

“I was scared, okay?? You were so depressed, and I had no idea what to do! I couldn’t help thinking that this wasn’t how it was supposed to be right after I proposed…” Jungkook softened his tone when he turned back to you. “But, I mean, things are better now, or at least they’re getting there. Can we please not fight??”

Jungkook tried taking hold of your hand again but you jerked away from his touch. “I told you marriage is a huge commitment that you couldn’t possibly be serious about, but I believed you when you said you knew that. And now at the first sign of trouble, you run to tell someone who hates me that you’re regretting this whole thing!?”

“I never said—” You get up hastily before Jungkook could finish his sentence. The boy threw his head back onto the seat and groaned with his eyes crinkled shut as you made your way down the aisle toward Yoongi. Your best friend had gotten a seat just a few rows behind yours and when he saw you standing next to him he ripped his headphones out of his ears, noticing the upset look on your face.

“Can we switch seats? Please?” Your voice broke when you begged him to get up. Although he wondered what the hell could’ve transpired in the first hour of this long flight back home, he knew better than to stay and ask questions.

Yoongi nodded and gathered his things, getting up so you can sit next to a man who was already lightly snoring. He shuffled up the aisle, throwing a worried glance at you over his shoulder before he found your empty seat next to Jungkook.

You prayed for sleep to find you quickly so you wouldn’t have to wallow in self-pity the entire flight. Luckily you managed to sleep until the flight attendant nudged your shoulder hours later to tell you you’d be landing soon. You were groggy for the rest of your trip which comprised of a bus and then a taxi until the three of you finally got to Yoongi’s parents’ home. Jisoo had ridden first class and secured her own way home, much to your relief. You were too tired to argue.

Yoongi’s house was homey. It was late when you all arrived, so his family wasn’t up to greet you all. Yoongi set up a cot next to his bed in his room for you and Jungkook to sleep on, and as soon as he left you two alone to go shower, you felt a cloud of unease settle over you and Jungkook. Neither wanted to speak, so you settled on unpacking silently and claiming your respective sides of the bed. You instantly regretted sleeping through the entire flight because now you were wide awake and there were still many hours of sundown left.

So as soon as Yoongi came back into the room, toweling his wet hair as his flip flops slapped against the hardwood floor, you got up quickly and rushed into the shower in the hopes that everyone would be asleep by the time you got out so you wouldn’t have to deal with the awkward silence for much longer. Luckily that’s exactly what happened, but it wasn’t much of a relief as you laid there for hours in the crushing silence. You hadn’t felt so alone in such a long time. Even when Jennie had deserted you, at least Jungkook had been there the whole time. Now you were on bad terms with them both, in a foreign country preparing to lay your heart on your sleeve in just a few hours.

The next day, as the afternoon sun hung at the center of the sky, you all climbed into a car and drove to Jennie’s wedding venue. The trip was long since she was having the wedding in the countryside, far from Seoul’s cityscape. The farther you all drove out, the more you began to see large expanses of uninterrupted land with the greenest grass you’d seen in forever.

You tried to remain calm and not think too much about what you’d say to Jennie when you finally saw her, hoping the perfect words would come to you when you needed them most.

As soon as the car turned down a dirt path after what felt like hours, you were able to spot a large chateau surrounded by all kinds of shrubbery that could only be seen otherwise in a Disney film. The view was magnificent, and you instantly knew it was up to Jennie’s standards. You smiled, picturing her bossing around the staff inside. And no sooner than you’d had that thought you were proven right. The second you all stepped onto the grounds, it was as if you were totally unseen with the way everyone bustled around you all trying to get everything done before the big day.

You all split up as soon as you realized just how massive the venue was, in hopes of finding Jennie quickly. The only person who had been invited was Yoongi, after all, so your mere presence would cause a scene, especially after the way you crashed the proposal dinner.

You took your time walking towards the back of the establishment, appreciating the way the sun shone on the endless fields of flowers and vegetation splayed as far as the eye could see. A few people in uniforms hauled different pieces of expensive furniture past you, and you suspected that if you followed wherever they were coming from, you’d likely find a petite brunette dishing out orders.

As you turned the corner to the back area where the reception would undoubtedly take place, your breath hitched in your throat. You laid your eyes on the most elegantly decorated field you’d ever seen. Jennie’s favorite flowers adorned every inch of the garden surrounding the venue, even invading the inside of the open atrium facing the garden. You smiled to yourself, remembering how she once gushed over Hyacinths because they were not only beautiful but also represented her birth month. Lucky for her, they made the perfect wedding bouquet flowers at well. You walked up to a table and picked a single flower from the arrangement, rolling it around in between your fingers then tucking it into your curly hair.

You turned on your heel and headed into the large open floor plan where the ceremony might take place. Several more people shuffled past you looking too busy to point you in the direction of the bride-to-be, but once they cleared your field of view, that was no longer necessary. Your eyes instantly landed on the girl who was standing at the end of the aisle speaking to a guy holding a clipboard.

Her hair was cut into a short blunt bob that hovered at the middle of her neck, and she was dressed impeccably in a tweed Chanel two piece. Your lips parted as you took a moment to drink her in. She seemed entirely different than the Jennie you had shared an apartment with not long ago, a duplicate vision of her mother before you, yet as you stared on you were sure she was the same woman you loved.

You stopped walking, stopped breathing, only able to stare. Your mind went blank of all the things you wanted to say. You’d have been content to stand there and watch her carry on with her tasks all day if it weren’t for the large flower arrangement crashing into your side. One of the staff members bumped into you while carrying a large vase that blocked their vision, sending you both along with the Hyacinths tumbling onto the marvel flooring. You squeezed your eyes shut and rotated your shoulder to make sure you weren’t hurt too badly then accepted the hand that was extended to you from the very apologetic staff member. Suddenly it dawned on you that the vase hitting the floor made a loud crash, so your head snapped in the direction of Jennie and surely enough, your eyes met for the first time in months.

You stood up as the staff member scrambled to gather the flowers from the floor and hurry off into the garden. Your mouth gaped and your fingers twitched at your sides. You weren’t sure whether to wave or yell a greeting, your heart beat steadily rising in your chest.

Jennie’s stare was cold and vacant, piercing through you as if you were a ghost. It seemed as though your spectacle was a nuisance seeing as how she couldn’t be bothered with any distractions. She turned away all too soon to finish briefing the man who had also been staring, though her eyes lingered on you for a beat longer.

Your scalp prickled and your breath accelerated, feeling more disconnected to her than ever before. Was this all you’d get? You didn’t want to squander the opportunity to talk to her again, but as soon as you took a step in her direction she walked out of the atrium through a set of double doors, her heels clicking against the marble and echoing through the large empty space.

Once the doors swung closed behind her, it felt as if the wind had been knocked out of you. She saw you came and didn’t care enough to greet you. Things were really over between you two. I shouldn’t have come.

You turned on your heel to sprint out of the grand space, wanting to be anywhere but there.

Yoongi whistled throughout the corridors, stopping to look at obscure paintings on the walls every once in a while, before continuing on his search for Jennie. His stomach rumbled fiercely as he checked what felt to be an endless number of hallways before deciding to take a break and get some food. There had to be something to eat around here somewhere.

The boy stepped into the atrium and let out a long whistle as he took in the grand pillars and gold objects that adorned the hall. His eyes were drawn to the double doors, wondering if that might be where the kitchen was, so he set off to help himself to some food to reward his efforts thus far.

But as soon as he let himself into what was, in fact, the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks, immediately recognizing Jennie sitting by the heuer d’ouvres with her cheeks crammed full. Yoongi failed to hold back his smirk at the sight of her stuffing her face, but he would most definitely hold back his comment about her looking like a chipmunk. He wasn’t in the mood to die on an empty stomach, so he took a seat next to the girl and began helping himself.

Jennie swallowed what was already in her mouth then proceeded to smack Yoongi’s hand away from the food.

“Ouch! What was that for??”

“These are for the guests!”

“Well I’m invited aren’t I?” Jennie pursed her lips as he reached for another, groaning as her face fell into her hands.

“I take it you’re the reason she’s here?” She spoke into her hands so her words sounded muffled, but luckily Yoongi was fluent in Jennie.

“You didn’t speak to her?”

Jennie groaned again and placed her elbows on the table, her balled up fists bunching up her cheeks. “No, we didn’t speak. I have nothing to say to her.”

“Jennie don’t be like that. She came all this way, just hear her out.” Yoongi spoke softly as he eyed Jennie carefully.

The girl sat up straighter and crossed her legs, suddenly remembering who and where she was. “I’m not being any type of way. If she has something to say to me then she’ll say it. But I hope you two didn’t show up here expecting anything of me. I’ve moved on and so should she.” Determined to prove her point, she continued speaking and ignored Yoongi’s doubtful stare, “How’s Jungkook doing, anyway? He must be so happy I’m gone.” Jennie snorted towards the end of her sentence, but it ended in a squeak as Jungkook himself piped up from behind her.

“I’m not, actually.” The boy had walked in through the double doors and paused as he saw Yoongi and Jennie hovering over a large plate of appetizers. “I know, hard to believe.” Jungkook approached her side of the table warily as the girl’s eyebrows shot up at the sight of him.

“I see the whole posse decided to take a field trip.” Jennie spoke in a bored tone but refused to make eye contact with Jungkook.

“Jennie, I know you’ve always hated me, but please don’t hate y/n. Please, just find her and talk to her. She hasn’t been the same since you left. I… we need you,” After a second, Jungkook ran his fingers through his hair in defeat, “I need you. Please.”

Jennie turned towards Jungkook, speechless that he would ever be so vulnerable around her let alone beg her for anything. She grew curious about what might’ve happened between you and Jungkook after she left, not having the slightest clue but figuring it couldn’t have been good. She looked in between Jungkook and Yoongi, taking a moment to let herself feel what she was truly feeling deep inside.

The truth was that when she saw you splayed across the marble flooring not long ago, her heart soared. She had refused to take her eyes off of you, wondering if the stress of planning a wedding was making her hallucinate. But when your eyes met, a spasm of fear shot through her. She had finally come back home and began getting her shit together to be the woman her family needed her to be, and the confusion your presence was causing her was too much to deal with in the moment. Never in a million years would she have thought to see you on this day, or ever again for that matter. She had convinced herself you were back in the states enjoying your engagement to fuck boy and living your happily ever after, so she had catapulted herself into her old life, determined to find her happily ever after too, even if it was a lackluster version compared to the one she had envisioned with you.

Your presence in this fragile world she had built in her glass house posed a threat, hell just seeing you for a few seconds had already caused her to bolt into the kitchen to stuff her face. She couldn’t allow herself to falter and feel the emotions she had buried down deep months ago. It was hard enough leaving you the day Jungkook had proposed to you and she wasn’t sure she could survive something like that once more.

Still, to hear Jungkook plead with her this way, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t moved. She so badly wanted to believe that after all this time she was strong enough to face you and hear what you had to say.

Jennie bit her lip and looked down at her knotted fingers. Eventually she sighed and nodded, getting up from the stool and smoothing her skirt before hesitantly exiting back through the double doors.

You were hunched over in between a couple of bushes with your head in between your knees taking deep breaths.

Breath in 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds, exhale for 8.

You did this for a while, feeling yourself begin to calm down. The image of Jennie staring through you played over and over again in your mind involuntarily.

Breath in 4 seconds, hold it for—

You gasped lightly as a couple of crooked slender fingers tapped you on the shoulder.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you…” The tall gentleman took in your ragged appearance and thought twice about his greeting. “Are.. you okay?”

You squinted, the sun beaming fiercely behind him as you tried to figure out who he could be. “Yeah, I’m fine…sorry have we met before? You look strangely familiar.”

“I don’t believe we have.” The man smiled kindly and offered you his hand which you gladly took, pulling yourself up with it and brushing off any grass that might be sticking to your ass. “Kim Seokjin, and you are?”

You shook his hand as he greeted you, your eyes still squinting as the memory of meeting him before crept closer into your consciousness. He was much taller than you and extremely handsome. You smiled back shyly, sliding your hand out of his grasp when you realized you were still shaking it. He chuckled, deciding you were slightly quirky.

“Leaving, actually.”

“It’s nice to meet you leaving actually.”

You groaned and scrunched your nose. “Dad jokes? Seriously?” The man chuckled some more, not seeming to feel any bit of shame in his wholesome humor. “If you’re the groom, Jennie must hate you already.”

The man laughed heartily. “You’d be surprised actually, I have a way of winning people over.” He flashed you his million-dollar smile and you believed him at once.

“Well, you have your work cut out for you my friend.” You clapped a hand onto his shoulder while making eye contact to convey the gravity of your words.

He nodded appreciatively before replying, “What gave it away?”

“Excuse me?”

“How’d you know I was the groom?”

“You’re handsome as hell and your watch looks like it costs more than my entire wardrobe.” You deadpanned at him as if these things were common sense.

Seokjin smiled widely. He’d feel bashful if he wasn’t so used to people saying that to him all the time. “I take it she has a type?”

You thought for a brief second, but ultimately knew that was untrue given she was into you of all people. “Mm, not really. But her mother does.”

“Speak of the devil…” Seokjin mumbled as his eyes shifted past you.

You turned around to see what he was suddenly staring at, just in time to see Jennie’s mother walking towards you both. She was smiling brightly at her daughter’s fiancé, a smile that quickly faded once her eyes landed on you.

“Mrs. Kim, it’s been a while!” You blurted out your greeting, not knowing what else to do. Even after all this time she still made you nervous as all hell.

The older woman sneered at you. “Not long enough apparently.” She turned away from you to address the beau as if you were no longer there, “Jin, come join us at the front, the sculptures just arrived!”

Seokjin smiled at you politely and bowed before walking away arm in arm with Jennie’s mother. You stared after them for a moment, squinting your eyes again as you observed the back of his head. Guy at the farmer’s market!...No, that’s not it either. You kicked at a few pebbles under your feet before trudging back towards the atrium in deep thought.

You considered leaving and making it seem as though you were truly just an apparition, but the sight of someone coming into your peripheral interrupted the thought. Your head snapped in their direction and you instantly stopped in your tracks.

“Jennie…”

The girl regarded you warily from beside a pillar, offering you a tentative smile as she approached you slowly. Your mouth became dry and your hands grew clammy the closer she got, so you wiped them off on your clothes continuously. You were grateful when she finally spoke.

“Come on, I want to show you something.”

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a-simple-imagine · 4 years

Text

The Smarter Witch pt.2

Requested by anonymous: “Maybe later that same year or the next one where the reader finally admits her feelings and tries making it a big special (but private) thing? Maybe in the astronomy tower or something but Malfoy messes it up and there is a fight? Her and mione end up together in the end?”

Pairing: Hermione Granger x fem!reader

Words: 6k

A/N - I’m arguably prouder of this part than the first!! As always comments and reblogs are appreciated. I’m very much loving my time in the Harry Potter fandom atm. credit to @euphoriainhell for checking this over!!

Warnings - Threats of violence, prejudice, bullying and swearing. I think that is it.

Part 1

The whistle of the Hogwarts express signaled the official end of summer as you made your way onto the platform. Family forgotten as you scan the tidal wave of students for any familiar face but they would likely be on the train already; you were running late after all. Dropping off your luggage, you're about to board when you spot a flash of platinum blonde in the corner of your eye.

"Draco," It's hard to hear over the busy train platform as you weave through the crowd to reach him. Picking up speed as you get closer, you launch yourself onto his back. "If it isn't one of my favourite Snakes."

"Get off me," He shakes his body in an attempt to throw you off so you loosen your grip. Dropping back down to the ground.

"Aren’t you happy to see me?"

"Just get on the train," His hand slaps against your back, pushing you forward onto the train.

"Do anything exciting this summer?" You ask him as you walk through the train carriage, slipping past people as they got in your way. Checking each booth as you pass for your fellow Slytherin. They had to be on here somewhere but it was a big train.

"Not really. You?"

"Visited New York. Family had business at the American ministry." You glance back to make sure he was still walking behind. Finally, you spot Parkinson, sat in the corner by herself. It takes her a moment but when she finally sees you two, a wicked grin spreads over her lips. "It was fun though. Did some sightseeing- typical touristy shit."

"Took you two long enough, I thought you were gonna miss the train."

"Aww she was worried about us Draco," you tease, nudging him slightly as you plop down next to her. Draco sits across from you, taking the window seat.

"where's Blaise?"

Her shoulders rose a little in response to Draco's question. "He said he forgot something and then ran off."

"I hope the train leaves without him," you jest, glancing out the window. It was beginning to calm down as the last few students boarded the train. All that was left were parents biding their final farewells. You can't imagine crying over sending your child off to school but still, you spotted tears among some.

"Without who?" Pulling your attention back, Blaise had finally shown up. He takes the space next to Draco, looking rather uninterested. Finally, the main gang was back together; not including Crabbe or Goyle.

"Definitely not my awesome friend Blaise, that's for sure," You flash a playful smile; slumping down against the seat. It was gonna be a long journey.

"You're as chipper as ever," Zabini comments, kicking your leg gently with his foot. "Not sure if that's a good thing."

"I'm just happy to be back," And you were for the most part anyway. As dull as school could be, you were excited to be going back. Not to mention you'd finally get to see Hermione again; you found yourself often wondering what she may be up to. The child of two muggles must spend her time differently, or so you assumed. You kind of missed seeing her every week; perhaps even more than you missed Draco and the others. You liked to think you don't know why but deep down there was a part of you that knew exactly why.

The conversation drifted between talks of summer plans and future endeavours. Past assignments and what was yet to be learnt. Pansy, once again, hadn't finished her summer work but that was a surprise to nobody. And after what felt like forever without interruption from the lady with the trolley, you decide you're gonna have to go search for it yourself. There was a chocolate frog calling your name right now.

"I'm gonna go get something from the trolley. Do you guys want anything?" It's a polite gesture but you kind of hoped nobody would say yes.

"I'll take a liquorice wand," Blaise requests and you nod a little.

"Draco?" His head shakes so you grab Pansy's arm and pull her along with you. It was a lot easier to navigate now that everyone was pretty much in their seats. The familiar sweet question hits your ears so you know you are close.

“Anything from the trolley?”

"You know how you finished all the homework-"

"Yes you can copy," You should have expected this when she didn't protest to bringing her along. "Just don't make it obvious because I'm not taking the fall for it. I will definitely blame you."

As you approach Honeydukes Express, the older witch is serving what seems to be a couple of Ravenclaw students. You wait for them to finish up, examining the contents as she turns to you. "Can I get.... some liquorice wands, a chocolate frog, a packet of Roasted Chimera Crisps and, do you want anything?"

Pansy takes a moment to think about it. You shift uncomfortably as a few students wait their turn behind you. "Chocolate."

"And a chocolate bar please?" You hand over the money in exchange for your sweets but the world washes away when you spot none other than Harry Potter in the booth beside you. You quickly spy Ron beside him with Hermione sat opposite. You felt the flutter of butterflies in your stomach as she laughs at something you're unaware of.

"What are you doing?" Pansy shoves you back into reality and you hit the door to the booth. All eyes fall to you and you want nothing more than to sink into the ground. Hermione smiles ever so softly and your heart leaps out of your chest. Reaching past you to collect the items you paid for, your fellow Slytherin pulls you away completely oblivious.

"What took so long?" Blaise wonders. Pansy hands over your items and tosses him his wands. You slide your chocolate frog into your pocket as you sit back down. Pulling open the crisp packet.

"Ask her, she just froze all of a sudden. It was really weird."

You absentmindedly place a crisp in your mouth, crushing it between your teeth.

"You okay?" Draco asks.

You nod a little, flashing them a tight smile that fades as you turn back to the window. It was easier to deny when you were apart but it was time to admit to yourself that you have a crush on a certain Gryffindor. Fuck.

Dumbledore stands on the podium at the front of the great hall, starting the term with his normal announcement as well as an introduction for the first years. It was an utterly boring speech that had your stomach growling in anticipation for dinner. Leaning down against the table, your head rests in the palm of your hand as you stare through the gaps between students at the Gryffindor table. You wonder where Hermione is sat; zoning out of the assembly entirely. There were moments you wished that Hogwarts didn't always have you split by houses. Of course, they weren't entirely strict policies but you'd get some strange looks if you had sat at the Gryffindor table for the first feast of the year rather than the Slytherin table. Perhaps you should care more about the first years getting assigned their houses but you felt yourself almost drifting off as you waited for dinner.

"You reckon we can swap out Millicent for one of the first years?" Pansy's voice is quiet in your ear as the table finally fills with all kinds of food. You've never been happier for a speech to be over.

"Don't be mean," An amused smile pulls at your lips but the reason behind it was unclear. You shovel food onto your plate as if it was going to disappear again if you didn't.

"What? I'm just saying" Pansy reaches over you to grab an ear of corn on the cob to add to her plate.

"What's your problem with her?"

"Nothing really. I just think we could do better, she's no fun." You'd love to know what Pansy's idea of fun was.

"I've hardly even spoken to her, to be honest," you shrug, tucking into a bread roll. "So I'd happily give her up for a first-year."

"I'm not sure how you can miss her," Your friend adds snidely. "Pathetic excuse for a Slytherin."

"You do realise she's sitting right over there," You nod your head in her direction. She's a little further down the table but not enough that she couldn't hear your conversation if she wanted to. It's very clear Pansy doesn't care though as she looks towards the girl who’s currently eating a chicken wing.

"Things would be very different if I was in charge here,"

"I dread the thought," You comment, taking a long sip of water from your goblet.

"Pansy's right," Draco interjects, you didn't even realise he was paying attention to the two of you. "This place has gone to the dogs. They let just about anyone in."

This again? It was like listening to a broken record with Pansy and Draco. Always looking down on people for not being of pure blood. "If they only let in purebloods, there'd hardly be anyone here."

"that’s right we forgot you're the resident mudblood lover." Pansy mocked, turning her attention to behind her. "Where is Granger anyway?"

"You shouldn't call people that,” It was such a foul word anyway, even when it wasn't directed at Hermione. "And how should I know? I've been with you guys since we got back."

"I don't know." The girl turns back to you. "You're the one obsessed with her."

You're about to reply but Blaise interjects first. "Leave her alone,"

"Thank you, Blaise," you're a little surprised to find him defending you regarding the matter. He tended to sit on the sidelines when it came to discussions of muggle-borns; partly because you're convinced he thinks he's just better than most people. Pureblood or otherwise. He was a very talented young wizard and very handsome. You can't help the smug expression that takes over.

"She can't help having no taste."

"I'm not even obsessed with her," you fire back defensively; a little too defensively and they all snicker. "Stop bullying me for having friends other than you guys. Just because nobody else likes you three."

"What did I do?" Draco questions, his brows knitting together. "I didn't say anything about her."

"I know but you were probably thinking it," You huff. "And you laughed."

"You can't punish me for thinking things,"

With a roll of your eyes, you stand up and leave the table. You could only deal with so much negativity at any given moment so you take a detour into the lion's den. Too many Weasley's to pick Ron out from the crowd so you keep an eye out for Potter; who for some annoying reason was sat all the way at the other side of the great hall. You push in beside him and a brand new first-year earning yourself the odd stares. Sadly, Hermione is nowhere to be seen.

"Oh great you're here," You didn't appreciate Ron's tone. You shoot him a sharp glare, he was definitely someone you hadn't missed over summer. "Draco sent you?"

"Why would Draco send me?" Like Draco would even trust you as a spy. "He doesn't care about you all that much... at least not you Ron." You flash him a tight-lipped smile. "I came to see Hermione actually, I thought she'd be with you two."

"She already went back to the dorms, said she wasn't feeling well."

You can always count on Harry not to make a snarky comment, you thank him before heading back to your friends. Pansy was the first to tease you about running off to play with the lions but you didn't really care. You'd grown used to it by now.

Your robe hangs off your shoulder and you almost drop the textbook you have tucked under your arm as you power walk through the corridors of Hogwarts. It was your first class of the semester and you were late. McGonagall was not going to be happy. As you burst through the door, there is a split second you're relieved that you don't see your professor only to remember she was an Animagus. Once a cat now morphed into one of your favourite professors right before your eyes. "You should know your way around the castle by now,"

"I woke up late,"

"See that it doesn't happen again, now take your seat."

The only space left was conveniently right next to the girl who was on your mind more often than not. You swallow hard as you trudge to the second desk on the middle row. Your heart thumps in your chest and you wonder if she can hear it too. Knowing Hermione the way you did, you wouldn't be surprised if she could.

"Never expected you to be late," The familiar whisper of her voice tickles your ear. "Finally stopped trying to prove you're better than me?"

"I overslept but that doesn't make me a bad student," The dropping of your textbook sounds so much louder in the silence. "It was Pansy's fault anyway."

"Your mistakes are your own," She says thoughtfully. Continuing to scribble notes down onto her parchment paper.

"Since we’re back, I think we should continue our tradition of playing chess on Fridays." You open your new textbook, sneaking a glance at Hermione's to figure out what page you're supposed to be on.

"Can this conversation wait,"

She started it but you don't express that; instead, you nudge her knee with yours under the desk. "It's a simple yes or no."

"I know it's exciting to be back but that's no excuse to distract other students. Please leave Miss Granger to her studies."

Again, she started it so why were you getting the blame? You look down to your textbook with a defeated sigh. "Sorry, professor."

"You'll have plenty of time to catch up later." She taps the pages of your textbook with some rolled up paper in her hand before walking away. When the coast is clear, you nudge the girl next to you again.

"So Friday then." You note the smile on her lips but she doesn't reply. In fact, she gives you the silent treatment for the rest of the class.

Come lunchtime, you're very awkwardly sitting at the Gryffindor table waiting for Hermione and her friends. The spots of green that adorns your robe stands out among all the red and you can't help but feel unwanted. Slytherin had such a bad reputation despite actually having some great witches and wizards. "I think you're at the wrong table, Slytherin is over there."

A sigh of relief slips into the air and you look up to her. She stood directly behind you, clutching her books like they were the most precious things on earth. There was a cocky grin on full display that filled your entire body with a gloriously warm feeling.

"Didn't anyone tell you I'm a Gryffindor now?" You announce as she takes up space next to you. Harry sits the other side of her, greeting you with a small hello while Ron is on the opposite side of the table completely ignoring your existence.

"Is that why you're still wearing Slytherin's colours?"

"Honourary member?" You shrug a little. "Besides I still need an answer."

"About what?" She places her books neatly on the table before her, exchanging them for a plate. Ron has already got his mouth full of god only knows what.

"Friday? Chess? Or we can do something else, I honestly don't mind."

"Sure," Hermione nods in agreement. "I'm still free at the usual time. I haven't practised much over Summer though at least not the wizard-kind."

"Then it's a date," you wink playfully trying to keep up your confident persona but in reality, your stomach was doing somersaults. She never used to have an effect on you or more accurately not to this degree. It's as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. "You two are free to join if you like," you glance between the boys as best you can. "I assure you my fellow Slytherin friends aren't invited; they wouldn't be caught dead hanging around Granger."

"Charming,"

"They're very particular about the company they keep" You play it off as a harmless joke.

"I think what you meant to say was that they're awful people," Ron mumbles through a full mouth. He was right but you don't appreciate it when he says it; they're still your friends.

"Careful how you talk about my friends, Weasley," You warn, keeping your eyes on him for a moment before softening. "So how was your summer, Hermione?"

"You really want to know?"

You nod eagerly. "I would like nothing more. Your parents are muggles so it's like going back to a different world for you."

Like a child listening to a bedtime story, you're sat there enjoying your lunch as Hermione tells tales of her summer. There was a beautiful light behind her eyes as she spoke of her parents; you could tell she was proud of them even though they weren't wizards. You also listened to Harry and Ron talk about theirs and how they all came together with the other Weasleys at 'The Burrow'. You didn't ask for an explanation because frankly, you didn't care.

It was almost weird how quickly everything fell back into place at Hogwarts; it truly felt like you had never left. How you had missed endangering your fellow students by doing unauthorised magic outside of class. As well as the evenings spent in the Slytherin common room with your friends. As much as you hated boring classes, you even missed showing off to Hermione. She still managed to beat you in the likes of History of Magic but Potions was where you truly excelled.

With the day free, you had decided to spend it with Parkinson wandering around Hogsmeade. It was a fine day for it and you could both do with some time away from the boys. The sun was shining bright in the sky and so the little village was relatively busy. You're on the way to Honeydukes when you notice her walking alone; at least you think it's her. "Granger?" You call out and she turns to you; as well as some other shoppers. Your expression brightens only for Pansy to elbow you sharply in the side. "What did you do that for?" You bite back a foul word, shoving your friend away and walking towards Hermione.

"Don't look too happy to see me. Where's Potter and Weasley?"

"I'm not sure," She admits, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "I didn't come with them."

"Don't have any other friends, Granger," Pansy snickering to herself. Hermione simply rolls her eyes as do you. "That's a little sad."

"You can join us if you like?" You suggest.

"What?" Pansy was clearly surprised by your offer and rightly so but you weren't going to miss out on an opportunity to hang out with Hermione.

"It's alright," You can't deny her rejection had you feeling a little disappointed. "I'm fine being alone."

"Are you sure?"

"You don't have to pity her," Pansy comments bitterly, tugging on your arm impatiently. "Can we go?"

"Go on ahead and I'll catch up." You sigh

"Fine," She spins on her heel and marches away. "Don't take forever."

"Sorry about her. She's incapable of saying nice things."

"It's alright," If you weren't mistaken her smile brightened just a little. "I've grown used to the company you choose to keep."

"I really did want you to join us," You tell her sadly. "I understand if you don't want to though. Next time we should come together."

"I don't think Pansy would appreciate my company," Hermione shifts her weight a little, dropping her gaze. "But yeah maybe another time."

"Tell you what, how about we do something later- If you're not busy of course? I know how you are about studying."

"What do you want to do?" She asks quietly.

"Uhhh..." you had no idea what you wanted to do, you just needed to talk to her. Maybe if you tell her how you feel, she'll become easier to navigate. Plus you weren't exactly one to shy away from expressing yourself for too long. "Meet me in the astronomy tower okay?"

"Why?"

"Just do it, Granger." With a wave of your hand, you go running off after Pansy. Walking through the door of the famous sweet shop, she's not too hard to spot. Stood before a display of Acid lollipops, her attention is drawn by the bell announcing your arrival.

"Where's the mudblood?" The raven-haired girl turns back to the array of sweets.

"You didn't want her to come with us," you argue, walking up beside her. You pick up an acid lollipop that was snot green in colour; amused by the idea of gifting it to Draco or something but ultimately you place it back.

"You never normally listen to me about her." She comments, picking up a pack of cauldron cakes.

"I wasn't gonna force her to join us when you hate her," It wouldn't be fun for anyone. "I'm meeting her later anyway- so it's fine."

"Oooh going on a date," Pansy teased. "I didn't know you swung that way."

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"Not at all," Pansy shook her head. "A mudblood on the other hand..."

"Not homophobic just prejudice, interesting." You chuckle. Pansy pays for her cakes but not without you adding a chocolate frog to the price; a treat for being such a git you told her. Grabbing her hand, you lead her out so you can continue the rest of your day.

You hear your name as you stroll through the courtyard on your way to meet Hermione in the astronomy tower. You'd be lying if you said you were not nervous. A quiet groan escapes as you see Draco. "Heard you got yourself a date with Granger."

"Who told you that?" You knew the answer already.

"Parkinson."

"Of course she did," you reply with an exasperated sigh.

"Didn't know you liked girls."

"It's not a date anyway," you explain. "Mind your own business."

"No offence but dating Granger of all people? I mean, I thought you at least had some standards."

"Leave me alone, Draco." You spit back.

"Someone's grumpy," His arm snakes around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. "Where are we heading?"

"I don't know where you are going," Struggling out of his grip, you push him away from you. The last thing you needed was Malfoy coming along with you. "I'm going to see Hermione."

"Fine, I'll leave you to your little date."

Your middle finger shoots up at him as you strut away. Thankfully, he seems to keep his word and doesn't follow you any longer. Ascending the steps of the astronomy tower, a shiver spills through your body as you reach the top. Hermione looks so lonely on the platform, staring out over the grounds.

"Sorry I'm late, Draco wouldn't leave me alone," You announce, the floorboards creaking a little with each step.

"I thought you weren't coming for a moment," Her voice is so light and sweet; you can practically hear the beautifully gentle smile behind it. "Why did you want to come up here anyway? It's awfully windy."

As if summoned by her voice a gust of wind attacked the two of you with its brisk bite. "I like it up here," You muse, scanning your surroundings as you walk up alongside her. Leaning down against the railing. The rolling hills of Scotland really were something to behold. "It's peaceful and pretty, not to mention far away from the dungeons."

"It is a great view." Hermione agrees, shuffling a little closer to you.

"And I wanted to talk to you." With the way your stomach sank, you were sure you'd pass out if the metal railing wasn't there.

"About?"

You hesitate, taking a deep breath as if it would somehow bring along with it some courage. You've never been this nervous in your life. "Did... you finish the... uh, Herbology homework?"

"You brought me up here to ask that?" You couldn't look at her confused face for too long. Definitely not the reason you brought her up here but you panicked and those were the words that came out. "Of course I have," She declares matter of factually. "It's due on Monday. Have you?"

You shake your head a little.

"I can help you if you like? I still have the books checked out from the library."

"I don't need help from the likes of you," You tease but your heart’s not really in it.

"Are you okay?"

"Mhmm," You nod your head, forcing yourself to look upon the girl you have grown so fond of. She makes you want to throw up but in a good way.

"Are you sure?" She looks so adorably confused. "You're acting weird."

"I'm just nervous," You admit. You spin around so you back is against the world and you can only focus on what's in this very room.

"Nervous?" She repeats although it's posed like a question. A gust of wind flows through her hair lifting it ever so slightly before it settles again. "Why do I make you nervous? We've spent hours together before."

"It's just... you're the most spectacular witch in our year and-"

"Well now I know there is definitely something wrong," She places her soft hand against your forehead and heat rushes to your face. You were now painfully aware of how close she was; she smelt... flowery with the sweetest hint of something sugary. "Such high praise- are you sick? Maybe we should take you to the hospital wing?"

You delicately remove her hand, lowering it but never letting go. You take another deep breath, long and slow. It was now or never. "I like you."

"I like you too," You meet the stars that twinkle so elegantly in her eyes. You had to get back to the dorms soon or you were both going to end up in detention.

"I like you... a lot." You gently squeeze her hand, eyes dropping to the floor out of sheer embarrassment. This wasn't how you expected things to go.

"Okay..."

"As in more than friends a lot." Your voice is but a whisper laced with the howls of the wind.

"Oh," Was all she said. You waited for more but it never came. You were scared to look at her; too scared to let go. A distant chuckle grows closer and panic spills through your veins. Hermione's hand slips through yours as you both turn to see Draco Malfoy. He clapped slowly as one by one some fellow snakes slithered behind their leader. Parkinson, Zabini and Goyle; the only one missing was Crabbe. Not that you wanted him here, in fact, why were any of them here?

"I can't believe you," Pansy starts with a bark of a laugh. You imagine Hermione must be very confused because even you have no clue where this was going? You rightfully regret telling Pansy about your plans tonight though along with Draco. They come up behind you and the Gryffindor steps away.

"Good going," Draco continues, slinging both arms around you. He wears the widest of grins as he congratulates you. Wow, maybe he was just happy that you managed to go admit your feelings. Perhaps they were just being good but nosey friends. "Didn't think you'd actually go through with it."

"Thanks," You smile warmly, embracing his touch.

"So should I tell Granger or would you like to?"

"Ooooh, can I do it?" Pansy practically jumps up and down where she stands; eager to please the alpha. You had a bad feeling about this.

"Tell me what?"

Your friends all snigger and you can feel Draco's grip around you tighten.

"That this was nothing but a dare," The lie drips from her tongue with such ease, it could be considered impressive. "We wanted to see if you'd actually believe someone could like someone like you."

"We didn't think she'd actually do it though. She's a little soft this one," Draco gently taps your chest. "Doesn't usually have the heart for it."

"Guess she finally realised she can do better than a filthy little mudblood."

You know you should say something; at the very least you should be denying what they were saying but you found yourself completely frozen.

"How pathetic can you be," Pansy stepped into view but not before you saw a single tear spill down Hermione's cheek.

"Hermione," Your voice disappears below your friends’ phoney words and bitter laughter. The Gryffindor calmly exited the tower leaving you alone with them. Red hot rage filled your body as you broke free of Draco. Each of them wore Cheshire Cat smiles except Blaise who seemed out of place among the rest. Whipping out your wand, you aim at Draco pushing him back until he reaches the banister. There was nowhere else for the snake to run. The tip of your wand pressed against the pale skin of his neck.

"What - the actual - fuck?" You growl through gritted teeth. The funny thing about Malfoy is that he may seem like an alpha but confront him and he turns into a baby. Whimpering at the mere threat of a jinx or curse. Would your friends go against you to save the leader? It didn't seem like it.

"We're just trying to save you from yourself," His Adam's Apple bobbed as he swallowed.

"Can't have you slumming around with witches like that," Pansy jumped to his defense but it only made you angrier. A hand fell onto your shoulder, whose you couldn't be sure but you'd make an educated guess and say it belonged to the girl herself.

"I didn't ask any of you for help," Your grip tightens around your wand. There were so many things you could do to him; some mild and nice, others... not so much. And for once in your life, you find yourself inspired by your least favourite person. Ronald Weasley. Who could forget the time he tried to curse Draco Malfoy and it ultimately backfired which was hilarious in its own right. With a flick of your wand, you back away slowly. "I never expected any of you to be so cruel- not to me anyway. I genuinely liked her and you had to go and fuck it up."

Draco opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. Instead, he gave an almighty belch and a fat slug dribbled out of his mouth and straight onto the floor. Had the situation been different you'd probably have laughed but you just stormed off back to the common room and straight to bed. It wasn't like you would have had much time to search for her anyway.

You're up bright and early the next day. Desperate to leave the common room as quickly and quietly as possible. Pansy had tried to talk to you when they got back but you blanked her. As you step through the doors to the great hall, you search for Hermione along the length of the Gryffindor table. If you could just explain yourself maybe you wouldn't feel so bad? Maybe your chest wouldn't hurt so much. Without much of an explanation, you charge towards her and grab her wrist to pull her away from her breakfast. Thankfully she willingly let you guide her. "Where are we going?"

You didn't really have a particular destination in mind just a place far enough away from the great hall that nobody would interrupt. You don't stray too far before finding an empty corridor.

"About yesterday-"

"It's okay," She interrupts, surprisingly calmly. Had roles been reversed you'd probably be furious at her. "Your friends put you up to it. It's not a big deal."

"Hermione..." Her eyes fell anywhere but on your own as you watched her.

"I don't think we should hang out anymore. It's clear you're only doing it to amuse yourself and your god awful friends."

"That's not..." Your expression softens. "true."

"Maybe you're more like your friends than you think," That hit you straight in the heart and what made it worse is that she was right. As much as you liked to deny it, you wouldn't hang out with them if you weren't. But you genuinely enjoyed their company when they weren't being massive gits.

"I meant what I said." As quiet as your voice was, Hermione stopped walking away. "I really did. It wasn't a dare."

"Then... why?" The brunette turned back to you looking like she was about to burst into tears. Stepping closer, she stepped back.

"Because I'm an arsehole with shitty friends," A pitiful laugh at the excuse. "They got it in their heads that they were saving me or something by making it seem like a joke. I should have said something in the moment but I was just... surprised. I really do like you and I'm sorry about what happened. I won't bother you again." Better to cut your losses than expect forgiveness. You hadn't exactly denounced your friends other than the silly little curse you placed on Draco. As you glide past, Hermione catches your hand. Every moment of embarrassment once again filled your cheeks. "What are you..." you trail off as you look at her. Soft eyes paired with a tender smile.

"We're gonna miss breakfast."

"I'm sorry?" Now she was confusing you.

"You're not responsible for your friends actions," Her fingers interlace with yours. "And while I don't like the company you keep, I don't think you're anything like them."

"You don't have to do this," You express; part of you expecting this to turn out as a joke. Although Hermione would never do something so cruel.

"I know but I want to." This time Hermione is the one to lead the way.

"Can I sit with you?" It was an unusual ask considering everything that just happened but you couldn't face your fellow Slytherins right now. "I'm kind of icing out my friends so I'd rather not have to sit with them."

"Of course," She gently squeezes your hand. "You're an honourary Gryffindor after all."

Somehow you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders only for more to be piled back on. Sure you told Hermione how you felt but you still weren't sure quite where the two of you stood. Not to mention you couldn't avoid Draco and the others forever. You grow more hesitant with each step back to the great hall. Pulling her back just as you reach the entrance. Hermione stumbles against you, clearly, you had caught her off guard. Utterly amused, you help her steady herself.

"Can I kiss you?"

The world melts away as she nods ever so slightly. The fluttering of wings deep in your stomach now grew fierce as you slowly reached up to grace her ruby red cheek with the palm of your hand; she felt silky smooth to the touch. Your heart skipped a beat as your lips connected in an unsure but heavenly embrace. Hermione tasted like spearmint toothpaste and you just couldn't get enough. But it was short-lived. Uncertainty morphed into that of admiration as you watched her mouth curl up into a smile.

"Ladies," You feel her jump a little, as do you at the sound of Fred Weasley's voice. Had he been there the whole time? Judging by the shit-eating grin as he disappeared into the great hall, he had witnessed the whole thing.

And with a matching expression his twin brother, walks just a few paces behind. A playful wink in your direction as he passes by. "Fine morning isn't it?"

#Hermione Granger x reader #hermione granger #harry potter #Hermione x reader #harry potter fanfiction

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