#sorry i've been tweaking the music on this forever

[noctude]

hi. would anybody want to provide some singing for a track on wizard solitaire? i think it would be extremely cool to have a bunch of voices on this one. (i cant pay you sorry this would just be for fun and also i get no money from music streaming)

(details under cut)

-only 8 measures

-i will provide sheet music and an audio track for reference/timing

-lowest note is a D#3, highest note is an A4. if you cant hit a note just sing a different one and i’ll use the magic of subtle autotune

-the melody is kinda wonky because i didnt originally write it with vocals in mind but it’s doable

-theres actually 2 choices a melody and a countermelody. the countermelody is harder. let me know which one you wanna do. or both if youre an overachiever

-recording quality can be scuffed i literally did it with my laptop mic

dm me :-D

[definedbydaylight]

“It’ll Be The Last Time” - Matty Healy x F!Reader

Part 3

Masterlist: .°˖✧ Word Count: 2341 Warnings: angst, angst, and more angst, this whole series will have so much angst, also alcohol, smoking, drug use/mentions and a little smut as a treat xx also if you think any of my fics will include an accurate timeline of real life events then you're on crack

Series Summary: “You’ve known Matty since you were 14 and the boy has never failed to get on your last nerve, but over the years you two end up having unexplainable moments where you can’t help but feel you two are connected in a way you’ll never feel with anyone else, until one night he tells you something that may change how you view the boy forever…”

January 13th 2011

It's almost midnight and you're about to give a small speech in honor of the album, you're off to the side of the DJ Booth with Kelsey and the boys, well all except for Matty who still hasn't said a word to you in the hour that he's been here, you're both thankful and a little disappointed. Ross rubs your shoulders as Kels gives you the traditional best friend motivation spiel, you can't help but smile as you take in all the love and support from your favorite people, just as she finishes the DJ fades the music out and introduces you to the crowd, it's your turn to take the stage, as you walk on and take the mic your group cheers loudly.

"Haha yes thank you. Um, hello! I'm y/n l/n and I'm sorry to the club goers who are about to be subjected to my sad music, I promise some of them have at least an upbeat tune, and it's good music, well I think so anyway, some may say otherwise-"

"IT'S FUCKIN BRILLIANT!" George yells from the side.

"Oh lord, that's my dear friend George so he's a little biased, but thank you love. Anyway this album means a lot to me really, it's a collection of very personal songs, some that I've been working on probably years now. A lot of teenage angst went into this album which I think you'll be able to tell, and uhh, god I'm actually so nervous." You try to take even breaths as the crowd cheers you on.

"Right, so as a surprise I'm actually going to be performing my personal favorite song on the album, which I actually began writing at 18 and have been tweaking over the years, George the lovely fellow actually did the drums on this song cause I knew I wanted a good percussion track. Give him a round of applause as well." You pause and clap along with everyone else looking at him, he gives a small wave as you introduce the song. "Anyway this is Decode off of With Your Permission."

George enters the stage and takes a seat at the drums as the guitar starts you in, you look up to the crowd and make direct eye contact with Matty who stands perfectly centered in the small crowd, arms still tightly wrapped around the girl he brought, you feel your stomach turn.

How can I decide what's right? When you're clouding up my mind I can't win your losing fight All the time-

The crowd actually goes wild at the beginning of the song, the song which you'd been so worried no one would like or understand, but they're actually loving it. The confidence builds up inside you as you continue singing, Matty has stopped looking at you as this point and is violently making out with the girl as you approach your best verse, the verse about him.

-The truth is hiding in your eyes And it's hanging on your tongue Just boiling in my blood-

You're staring at him as he looks up at the perfect time for the song to make an impact on him.

-But you think that I can't see What kind of man that you are If you're a man at all Well, I will figure this one out

On my own (I'm screaming, I love you so) On my own (But my thoughts you can't decode)-

Kelsey is going crazy screaming along because of course you showed your best friend the songs beforehand, you'd never put anything out without her approval, her opinion is the only one in the world that really matters, the drum line intensifies as you begin to finish out the song.

-There is something I see in you It might kill me, I want it to be true

You're done and the crowds is cheering non-stop, George jumps up from his spot and rushes over scooping you up in his arms, he gives your cheek a kiss as he spins you around, soon Kelsey, Ross and Adam have also joined you on stage in a giant group hug of praise.

You're laughing as you try to bring the mic back up to your mouth. "And these are my amazing best friends, as you can see I have a wonderful support system, thank you all for listening, here is the rest of With Your Permission!" The DJ starts the next track as you all exit the stage.

You're all making your way over to your seating area, fresh drinks waiting for you at the table, but so is someone.

"Good performance, interesting song choice." Matty speaks up from his seat, the girl he was with nowhere to be seen.

"Thanks." Is all you can manage to say, George's arm around your waist tightens ready to defend you if he said anything rude.

"I got you a dirty shirley." Matty uses the tips of his fingers to push it towards you as you take a seat. "Still your favorite right?"

You give him a small smile, his tone sounds almost sad, but kind. "Always will be."

The rest of your friends sit, you've ended up between Matty and Kelsey in the rounded booth, and the conversation starts up easily. It feels like no time has passed when you're all together, like no matter what happens between anyone, the group will survive. Adam says something about some guy who he noticed has been pacing the bar back and forth hitting on every girl he can, and everyone laughs, noticing all his failed attempts. Matty adjusts his sitting position and his thigh rubs against yours and you take a sharp breath in at the close contact, no one really notices, no one except Matty of course who's turned to look at you, you can't help but look back at him.

He smiles at you. "So Decode?"

"Oh lord, not this." You laugh a little and put your face in your hands.

"No, no, it's good, bloody brilliant really. I reckon it'll be stuck in my head for a few weeks." He sounds flirty, and with all the alcohol in your system you can't really help but enjoy it.

"Yea?" George speaks up from the other end of the booth. "You should really listen to Under The Table, haven't gotten it out of my head since I first heard it."

"Ross has had to deal with me constantly playing the Like Real People do track you sent me on repeat for the last month, absolutely my favorite!" Kelsey gushes to you.

"Personally I say How Do I Tell You? is the best but I might be biased cause I helped with the guitar on it." Adam pipes in as well.

You smile big at all your friends singing their praise for your music.

"You've all heard them before?" Matty asks, sounding a little hurt.

Summer 2006:

It's a cold night, you've got a thick black cardigan wrapped around you as you sit on your front steps, smoking a joint you'd swiped from George the last time you'd seen him, which had been a while ago now. A few weeks after the party you two had decided to call off your situationship, nothing bad it was mutual, you both decided the weird tension the whole party ordeal had caused was too much, he was still one of your best friends. Everyone had staged a makeshift "intervention" for you, George and Matty to get over the whole thing, and it had gone surprisingly well, well enough that you were actually sat waiting for Matty to pick you up for a party. Kelsey had taken Ross on a trip with her family to Ireland, Adam was visiting with his dad's side of the family, and George had gone to California with his, so you and Matty had been trying to fill the gaps in your social life together.

You finish the joint as you see Matty's van pull up outside, you toss the end of the joint down and stub it out with your boot as you stand up making your way around the car to the passenger side, you hop in and Matty is looking at you with a huge grin on his face.

You look at him weird and laugh. "What's with the serial killer smile?"

"I have a surprise for you, but you have to wait till the party." He says turning forward and pulling out of your driveway as you buckle yourself in.

"Honestly terrified of what you have up your sleeve." You try to reach forward to change the radio station but Matty smacks your hand.

"Hey! Anyway you shouldn't be scared, in fact you should be kissing my fucking ass." He smirks still watching the road.

"Oh yeah?" You ask, raising an eyebrow. "And why is that Matthew?"

"Well you see June Bug." You groan at the nickname. "I happen to get my hands on something you've been dying to try."

You whip your head towards him, eye wide. "No! No you did not! Don't lie to me right now, I will be so mad if you're messing with me."

"Glove compartment." He winks at you.

You don't waste a second, you quickly open the compartment and resting inside on top of random papers and a car manual is a small baggie with white powder inside, you squeal and try to reach for it as Matty smacks your hand again.

"I said to wait till we're at the party!" He says seriously.

"But whyyyyy?" You whine.

"Cause it'll be your first time and I need to make sure we're safe before you ingest a drug you've never tried before."

You roll your eyes at him. "Don't say that like it's not your first time too."

"Well, actually-" He starts.

"Matthew Timothy Healy! You promised we'd try it together!" You pull out the puppy dog eyes.

"Listen love, I needed to make sure it wasn't janky coke, I didn't want it to kill you or something, needed to know what we were getting into so I could be sure you'd be okay." You smile at that.

"Oh Matty." You say leaning your head on his shoulder. "Always my knight in shining armor, the man who cares about me the most."

"Oh fuck off." He laughs, shrugging you off his shoulder.

He parks the car down a side street and grabs the baggie before you two make your way into the party, not one of Josh's this time, but a friend of his that he'd invited you both to, who also happened to live in a GIANT house, bigger than Matty's even. You both opt to do shots before anything else, you mention needing to be intoxicated to deal with the awful choice of music, Matty smiles and agrees with you taking your hand and dragging you to the kitchen to find something.

After a few vodka shots he grabs a 6 pack of ciders and you both made your way to one of the, what you assume is, many bathrooms, you enter and lock the door setting up camp for the events that are about to take place. You crack open two ciders as Matty sets up two lines on the counter and rolls up a one pound note.

"Okay so basically-" He starts to explain.

"I know how to do it Matty, we've seen it in movies plenty of times." You interrupt.

"Right, sorry I forgot movies are the best form of education, miss know-it-all, but whatever there is one thing you need to know, the drip back is awful so prepare for a bad taste in the back of your throat." He then takes his line and tilts his head back.

He hands the rolled up note to you and presents the line to you like an absolute dork, you turn to the counter and take your turn, tilting your head back afterwards like he had. He was right, the taste was god awful, but the feeling overshadowed the taste, you turn to him eyes wide.

"Holy fuck." Is all you say and he starts laughing. "No I'm serious Matthew this is fucking awesome."

"Yea?" He asks, smiling at you.

"Yes, god I could kiss you right now." You laugh.

He just stares at you smiling, and you can't help but smile at him even larger, you're both just sitting on the bathroom floor now, staring and giggling at each other, smiles never leaving your faces. You both take another line and afterwards you reach for a second cider, you drink trying to wash the taste out and some of it drips down the side of your mouth, as you set the can down Matty's hand comes up to your face to wipe off the liquid, his thumb slightly touches the corner of your mouth and it's like the same switch had been flipped as it had at the dance.

In seconds you two are on each other like rabbits in heat, but it's not fast paced, in fact it's almost antagonizing how slow it is, but it's amazing nonetheless, like if what you felt with him the first time you kissed times ten. Your mouths moved in perfect sync, the taste of his tongue on yours was almost as addicting if not more than the high you both had. He quickly scoops you up and sets you up on counter and pulls you forward so your bodies are flush against one another, one hand now on you jaw as his other has made its way up your leg and under your skirt, his thumb rubbing at your inner thigh, you can feel the wetness pooling in your underwear as he pulls away to breath.

"Fuck- Matty." You whine.

"Yea baby? What do you want?" He asks, his lips making their way to the crook of your neck.

"You, want you." Your hand tugs on his curls and he moans.

His hand toys with the edge of your underwear as he speaks. "Then have me June Bug."

Part 4 (coming soon-ish)

a/n: whelp here it is, sorry for the smut tease i couldn't help it, i promise the next part will have actual smut, anyway past Matty and reader have reconciled! but future Matty and reader are still iffy but who knows?? huh? anyway a chapter to end the night xx

[youredreamingofroo]

💗👀☕️🎤🐧🐼 :))

HI BIRDIEEE sorry this took me forever to answer 😭😭

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be? 

the other two thirds to our [irl friends] trio :3 More specifically my two irls who have been thru it with me for the last 5 years, love those goobers so much

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

I actually had a funny one when I got this ask but I've forgotten, the one I had this morning (tw: pet death implications ahead) was a VERY realistic dream of me just going about my day, except I was INCREDIBLY worried about my cat (aka my SON) dying, since he's so old (12 years old, but iirc his breed lives to be up to 18 yrs old and hes pretty healthy), and so I kept crying and ranting on here about my fear of him passing ... 😭

☕️ talk about your ideal day

Literally just a day where I can hang out with my two irls 😭 Like I miss hanging out with those two everyday so much, I would KILL just to have a mediocre, boring day with them, cuz ik it wouldnt be mediocre OR boring with them.

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

Rufus by Yot Club :)

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

Childish (in a good way), erhemm.... daring/daredevil-ish? Idk 🧍‍♂️ and chill 🤷‍♂️

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

Ough... I don't know, I don't really like the idea of meeting celebrities/[music] artist just cuz im a tweaking antsy and introverted goober, so every interaction with a celebrity/artist would probably be MISERABLE for me 🧍‍♂️ I guess Hozier, JUST so I can ask him who hurt him and what it's like having his brain cuz I simply would never shut the fuck up if i sounded and talked like that or wrote lyrics like that KSJDBNSKA

[koostarcandy]

☆◇°•~♡prompt list☆◇°•○~♡

it took me a while but here it is! my asks are open and you can request the lines from the list with the genre you'd like, the member and their band, along with the gender. i write ONLY fluff and angst, no smut. some are taken from pinterest and i've tweaked them. some are song lyrics and some i've made on my own! nevertheless, choose what you'd like and I'll write! guidelines to follow.

"can you stay? please?"

"wait...you don't like chocolate? ...we're done-"

"dammit because I love you!"

"you're gonna be the death of me."

"i am home."

"go then! leave!"

"i heard my crush on you was obvious, apparently."

"i look at you like you're my whole world. that's because you are."

"look, I'm wearing your clothes. I'm living with you. I've left everything behind to be with you."

"should we like hold hands or whatever?"

"stay on the phone with me."

"why do you sacrifice so much for me?"

"after everything we've been through, you still think I don't trust you?"

"you're worth every single penny."

"does it matter what other people say?"

"why are you so pretty?"

"we have to see it. together"

"you fell asleep against me. it felt a marble statue was leaning on me-"

"tell me what you dream of. I'll listen."

"what's the use of all this then?"

"yeah, this...is for you, unexpectedly."

"are you happy? after being with me?"

"thank you for holding me but the cat was unnecessary-"

"me? jealous? hell no."

"what're you searching for? so helplessly? you know I can help."

"i'll meet you again. in our beautiful dream."

"i'm sorry for watching you tolerate it."

"I end up alone but you know, I keep hoping."

"I think I'll keep you. I'll never find someone like you."

"s/he/they were/was never mine to lose."

"your whole life is a cliche! how the hell did you find me, all alone, on a stormy night?!"

"you know I'll be here waiting. all day and all night, just for you."

"you may not be saying anything but your eyes are talking a mile a minute."

"so thank you. for loving me, for waiting for me and for showing what was worth living."

"maybe that child had go through all that pain to be the strong person you are today."

"everything now has changed."

"if that time ever comes and if it is desperately needed, then I will let you go."

"you know I'll believe anything you say."

"will I ever find someone like me to love?"

"you have! you have me!"

"i'm sorry I couldn't give you more."

"I want to see the day where I open my eyes and the first thing I see is you."

"you know. us. living together. like having fun but at the same time doing big person stuff like paying rent and whatnot."

"and then I'll sing a song! a song called and made and about you!"

"in my sky, you're the biggest star."

"oh, my angel. my love. my everything"

"you are! and you are so much more to me."

"your happiness and your pain? they're mine as much as they're yours."

"all thanks to your dumbass."

"maybe we skip this part and just go to the forever."

"happy that we met each other"

"your love and your touch and your everything. i miss it"

"i'll patch it up. i'll do it. you're my responsibility and my priority."

"my picture in your wallet. do you love me that much?"

"i think, no i know, it's your stupid ass."

"next time, if something stupid like this happens, lemme know yeah? i wanna be a part of it."

"forget other people, i don't think we saw us coming."

"i'll be beside you. always. if it's alright? i mean it should be, this is me we're talking about."

"God that was cheesy. where's the background music when you need it?!"

"fine? of course I'm fine! I have a partner so fine and a love so fine. hell, I'm more than fine!"

"the half that i gave you? it's mine again."

"i know i said that I'll love you either way but this is unacceptable!"

"you know what? screw this, screw that and screw everyone!"

"being with you feels so cool"

"sleep now. i've got you."

"it was just a dream! why are you beating me up?!"

"call me crazy but i think you and i like each other."

"hey calm the hell down! no one's stealing your plushie, geez."

"you know, that explains a lot of things."

"how come someone like you exists?" "what do you mean?" "someone so dense in the head."

"yeah, you and me. sounds like a horror house and joyride in one. sounds like one hell of a ride."

"bro but you know, romantically, duh."

"but it's me! the love of your life!"

"i tell you all my secrets because i know you'll keep them."

"you're not a secret, you're my baby!"

"you did not just refer to our children to a supermarket deal."

"i'm here for you. mostly for the food and Netflix but yeah you too!"

"what? am i the bad guy? again?"

"how is it that it's always the two of us hurting?"

"it feels like butterflies are going up to your throat? yeah i feel that too when i see you and trust me, that's a good feeling."

"won't you hug me? like you always do?"

"think i've been with you too long cause it actually made sense."

"even if it's just pretend."

"love as wide as the sky, land and sea. can't find it anywhere else, you know?"

"all you have to do, is open the door and face whatever comes your way."

"i can't forget them all. but if it's what you please, then I'll try."

"i'll make a fool of myself everyday, if that means you'll be happy everyday."

"yeah, i fell. like a fool."

"me? and leaving? those two words should never be put in the same sentence."

"ohhh. yeah, that makes more sense."

"i'm sorry. i need a minute to process this."

"in my defense, this is all your fault."

"what a thought-provoking concept! who would've ever known-" "it's just a self-watering plant pot!"

"how mad would you be if i kissed you?"

"and you of all people thought i take things seriously. honestly do our all years together mean nothing to you?"

"its okay to love me. please love me."

"well, i promised, didn't i?"

"can i convince you to stay?"

"please don't walk out that door."

"its gonna be a lonnggg night."

[lunarflux]

hwang hyunjin x reader

genre — angst!au

hookup to lover

suggested background music: (click the x)

note: i am so so sorry idk what happened with this one. i was listening to one song, and as my playlist changed, the storyline changed so i did a lot of tweaking to keep with the mood. i did my best to characterize a backstory for the mc x hyunjin lol i like to write about these "moments" that let the reader continue the story on their own, so i hope this is okay??

x

.

.

.

Hot water hit the back of your neck before trickling down the curves of your back.

No music, no distractions, but here in the steam, enveloped in a warmth akin to his, these were the only thoughts, combing through the air like water under lily pads.

Watching the remnants of bubbles sliding down your legs and onto the porcelain, you sighed through the fog.

He seemed to be all you could think of lately.

You two had known each other for years. Childhood dreams came and went, and the years spent apart from the other seemed like nothing. It was like you two always found your way back. Between the heartbreaks, he'd be there. After the storm was over, he'd be there like a flower waiting for sunlight.

After your first breakup, he appeared like the first night of pleasant dreams after a year of nightmares. Hyunjin was just always there until he wasn't. The spaces in between the time you shared were always spent with other people, almost like you two didn't know how to talk when someone else was around. The world you built was only made for him.

How many more days until your little daydream flitted away like the memories of yesterday morning? You couldn't remember lunch, but you remembered dinner and the after, sitting beside him as his eyes slowly closed, his temple hitting your shoulder.

You didn't dare remind him that he fell asleep intertwined with you in his sheets before slipping out in the morning.

The routine of falling in love with a romantic who wasn't yet ready for you became your weeknights, and it crept into the weekend. Sleeping next to your faux lover, using Monday mornings to figure out what exactly you two were - these were your weeks, and it continued throughout the years.

He wasn't your boyfriend - no, you coiled together, you spoke in a language made for your tongues alone, and when the night fell, all you could see were stars and the moonlight resting on his pillow, ever so intimately resting on his cheeks.

It was always a dreaded question.

What are we?

You never wanted to ask. The question frightened you - you couldn't imagine how much it terrified him. The thought of solidifying what you were to him seemed all too intimidating.

Although.

Maybe I do love him.

And again.

Do I love him?

Saying it out loud was the scariest part. Once it was said out loud, you couldn't take it back. It was there. It was truth. It was matter floating through the air, and it drifted away like a kite to the clouds.

Stepping out of the shower, the moments slowly came back.

Quietly locking his door with the spare key he left under the mat. Catching a taxi back to your small apartment. Falling asleep again on the couch before waking up just as the sun hit the horizon. Washing away the remnants of his scent - though, you could swear it was everywhere - in your hair, on your clothes, forever dancing over your skin like he could never be scrubbed away.

(1 new message - Hyunjin)

Why'd you leave?

You hated it when he did this. You hated him. And you loved him. You hated how he would call, and you couldn't resist saying yes. You hated how he'd say he could only fall asleep when it was next to you. You hated the way he looked at you.

You swore he looked at you like he loved you.

Tossing your phone back onto you bed, you went through the rest of your morning, hoping your next cup of coffee would bring the life back into your face.

Hyunjin always managed to reappear in your life whenever you finally forgot about him. It was like he was waiting. He only wanted you when you didn't belong to anyone else, and yet he never did enough to make you his.

Annoyed.

Aggravated.

Every heated emotion you could feel would course through your veins when you thought about him, yet you couldn't bring yourself to say no.

And you were only ever like that with him.

**

x

He knocked on your door at 3pm.

"Why'd you leave?" He recited straight from his text message, still left with no response on your phone.

You shrugged, letting him walk into your apartment without giving him an answer.

"Did I do something?" He grabbed your hand.

It was like something snapped. The button no one dared to press was suddenly slammed into, and everything came spilling out.

"Why do we only do this when you know I've moved on?" You said, spite glossing over your words almost like you wanted it to hurt. "You knew - you knew I'd finally gotten over my ex, and you called, like it was a routine, you knew I wasn't attached anymore. Why do we still do this?"

Hyunjin's grip on your hand was still steady. "I don't know what you want."

"Honestly, I don't either. Something... not this."

He always pulled you in so effortlessly. When Hyunjin hugged you, he would hold your face in his chest like he wanted you to hear his heart beating. He would nuzzle his face into your neck. It was never forceful, but it kept you still.

You leaned way, keeping him at a small distance. This was the first time he'd ever really seen you bare - no makeup, no filter, no effort to prove you were okay being his "maybe".

How many times can you fall in love with one person?

"Tell me what you want." Hyunjin spoke quietly.

He'd never had problems telling you how he felt about the others, girls who came and went. Superficial relationships that would be dedicated for a month and then no more.

"Tell me what to do - just talk to me."

"That's not something we do." You hissed. "We don't talk - we fuck, and you talk. About your hookups, your relationships, you just go on like it doesn't bother me." Backing away to the wall, you could feel your cheeks burn. "I hate it."

"Do you hate me?"

"Maybe I do." You nodded, you head hanging down. "I hate being this - this thing - this space you use when you need someone. I don't want to be the space between moments - I don't want to be the 'pause' between the girls you fall in love with"

Hyunjin almost looked satisfied with your response. This was the first time you'd gotten angry with him, and he knew it. He knew you held your tongue around him. He wasn't blind. He just wanted you to expose yourself to him. The intimacy was a step through the door, but it wasn't enough to make it home.

"I just - I want -"

Grabbing your shoulders firmly, Hyunjin made you look up at him, tears gripping your eyelashes.

"What do you want?"

The look in his eyes was the look of clarity. He asked this same question, but he had his own answer.

A small pur of a sigh, the motion letting the tears fall one by one. "I don't want to see you with anyone else."

He let you cry for a moment until your breaths were steady again. Stroking your cheek with his thumb, he kissed your forehead. His breath moved through your hair.

"I just want you to stay here." You whispered.

"Okay." He leaned into you, his hands on either side of the wall behind you. "I'll stay."

"But -"

"Whatever you want." Hyunjin's eyes were so close. "I'll stay here forever if you want me to."

"I don't understand."

"If I asked you to be with me when we first met, I thought you'd feel unfulfilled. We were so young, and we hadn't lived our lives yet. I would've been content to be with you until you said you didn't want me anymore. I wanted you to live and be done wandering until you were ready to just be mine and no one else's. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed."

The vague childhood jokes Hyunjin used to play on you began to replay themselves behind his words. The times he'd laugh and say "you should date him" - you hated it, but you understood.

"I had to learn how to love other people before I could love you - properly."

He loves me?

"That was the only kind of love you deserved - a proper, complete love. I've done what I needed to do. I made my mistakes, and I took the hard way out of my problems." Hyunjin kissed you sweetly, his lips moving slowly and carefully before pulling away. "I wanted to grow up, so I could love you properly." He rested his forehead on yours, his nose brushing against yours.

His hands gripped your hips firmly before he backed away, letting you see his face clearly.

"Are you ready for me?"

[ally-writes-many-things]

Unattainable Things (Luke Patterson) Part 1

Summary: Luke's girlfriend had found out she was pregnant hours before they had died. 17 years later, their daughter is friends with Julie.

Words: 1.5k

Prompts:

A/N or Warnings: Hey! So I had to tweak the time frame a bit in order for this one shot idea to work. I hope you enjoy it.

You were pregnant.

You took a look at the multiple pregnancy sticks on the counter and all said you were pregnant. You didn't know no idea what you were going to do. You didn’t have a lot of people in your corner only your boyfriend and his best friends. You didn't even know how he was gonna react to that the news that you're pregnant seeing as his band was about to blow up. He doesn't really have a support system either, because he left home when he was seventeen and is now twenty. You put your hands on the countertop and stared at yourself in the mirror. You don't know how long you stayed there till you heard the bathroom door knock. "Babe?"

You snapped yourself out of it and grabbed the test and hid them under the towels under the sink. You got up and closed the counter doors prior to turning around and opening the bathroom door. Luke looked at you with so much worry that filled his eyes. "Are you okay? You were in the bathroom for a really long time,"

You faked a smile and gave him a quick peck. "Yeah, I'm good,"

He watched you walk over to your shared bed. "Are you coming with us for rehearsals?

"Don't I always?

He smiled and walked over to you, kissed you and smiled at you again. "Yes,"

He walked out of the room and you sighed and laid down on your bed. You've heard footsteps, but you haven't turned your head and looked. "So are you?"

You turned your head to look at Reggie. "According to the test, that's a big y-e-s yes,"

Reggie leaned against the doorframe. "So when are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. You're all having this big concert tonight and I don't want him to be distracted, but I don't know if I can keep it a secret".

Reggie nodded and remained silent for some time. "Every time you feel like telling him, scratch your arm and I'll do something,".

"Like what?"

"I don't know caw like a bird,"

You laughed at your boyfriend's best friend, who was more like your brother. "Yeah, you do that,"

-----

"Mom!"

You walked into the hallway to see your daughter walking downstairs with her music sheets and wearing her dad's old Rush shirt. You smiled every time you had seen her wearing it. Luke, Reggie and Alex have been dead for 17 years, and after they died, you made up with your parents. Her parents were a bit more sensitive because they lost their son, but they always liked their granddaughter, but your daughter really didn't want anything to do with them after she learned how they treated Luke what they said to her. She didn't really want to talk about his father because she said that although she didn't know him, talking about him was painful. "Yeah?"

"I'm gonna go over to Julie's today after school is that okay?"

Julie was one of her closest friends and she'd just lost her mother, so your daughter spent a lot of time with her. "Of course, Hunny, if you decide to stay overnight, send me a message,".

She nodded and gives you a quick peck on the cheek, says she loved you and runs out the door. She looks just like you but she is just like her dad. She inherited his talent and his love for music. She loves old bands more than the new bands. She is his mini me. Luke would have taken such pride in her.

Emily's POV:

As Emily was heading to Julie's house, she could hear music from the den, which was weird, because Julie was the only one who stayed in her house to play music, but she hadn't for a long time. You left your way to Julie's house and went to the den. You had knocked on the door and the music immediately stopped. No one answered. You opened the doors, you looked around and there was no one. "Julie?"

"What?"

Emily jumped and turned around and looked at Julie walking into the den. "Where you playing music from your speaker or something?"

Julie looked as if she was thinking for a good answer. "OH yeah. I saw you walking up and I had turned off the music from the house,"

You didn't buy it, but you still ignored it. "What were you playing? I've never heard it before,"

She shrugged. "I don't know, I had it on a random station,"

"So I heard you killed it the other day,"

"Yeah, I did,"

"Sorry, I missed it, but had to stay after in a class to retake a class,"

"Let me guess. Mr. Kingsley?"

Emily just nodded.

"He has it out for you. Every day, he calls you out for something that you didn't even do. 'Emily, stop talking,; 'Why are you laughing, Emily?"

Emily just laughed. "No idea,"

Emily didn't noticed the guy that was standing in front of her until he had said something to her.

Luke's POV:

The boys were playing a few chords, waiting for Julie to come back when there was knocking at the door. They knew it wasn't Julie so they stopped playing and then the door opened. Reggie, Alex and Luke all stared at Emily with total shock. Reggie's the one that talked first. "Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing? Does she look like-"

Alex was next. "Like Y/N?"

He saw Julie enter and started talking with the girl. Then the boys got to know Emily's name. Reggie took a look at the girl's shirt and realized it was Luke's shirt. "Oh,"

Luke didn't hear Reggie. He was too focused on that girl and how she looked so much like the girl he loved wildly seventeen years ago. It couldn't be Y/N. Is that her daughter?

Without thinking about it, he vanished and reappeared beside that girl. At first, she didn't notice anything until Luke said something that caused her to jump and trip over herself.

Julie reached out to help her get up and once she helped her and looked at her. "You can see them?"

Emily, obviously still freaked out nodded. Julie looked around at the boys and then back at you. "Am I not supposed to? What kind of question is that?"

"They're dead. They're ghosts,"

"There's no way. Wait? They're?"

The other two boys appeared beside Luke, who was still paying close attention to this girl. "Hi,"

"Hello,"

Emily shook her head. "I'm losing it. I'm really losing it. This isn't happening,"

"No, it is. They're a band from the ninety’s called Sunset Curve that died,"

"This is some kind of-wait did you say Sunset Curve?"

Luke stepped forward at this time. "You know us?"

By the time Emily had a chance to say something, Reggie beat her to it. "Emily, do you happen to know Y/N Y/L/N?"

"You mean my mom?"

Luke took a couple steps forward to Emily which she took two steps back. "How old are you?"

Before she could even say anything. Reggie sighs, walked up to him and places a hand on his shoulder. "Luke, meet your daughter,"

Luke removed Reggie's hand from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. "What?"

"Yeah....haha. Do you remember when Y/N was taking forever in the bathroom before we left to go to the Orpheum?"

Alex, who hadn't said a word for some time, didn't play with Reggie being slow. "Get to the point,"

"She did pregnancy tests and all of them were positive..."

Luke grabbed Reggie's shirt. "How long did you know?"

"Right after you left the bedroom after checking on her. She was gonna tell you after the show,"

Luke didn't tell Reggie but shook his finger at him, but turned to watch the girl he had just discovered was his daughter. He looked at her and for the first time noticed that she was wearing one of his old Rush shirts and one of his necklaces. He smiled at her, said she wore something of his. Then it hit him. She did not recognize him and it could only mean one thing... Y/N did not speak of him. She didn't, talk about him to their daughter. "Since, you didn't recognize me. I'm guessing your mom didn't talk about me?"

Emily shook her head. "No. She wanted to, but I told her no, because I didn't want to hear memories of my father I couldn't meet".

Luke wanted nothing more than to get to know his daughter. To know everything about her. To know if she's into music like he is or well was. Or was she like her mother who was more into writing? Was she close to her grandparents? He was going to ask him the same question aloud, but she got ahead of him. "I have a question,"

He took a step forward and went to reach out for his daughter, but stopped when he realized he couldn't. "Yes, anything?"

"How are you back?"

"We don't know. All we know is that Julie played our demo and it brought us back,"

Luke noticed that she was trying to figure out how to word this and almost looked like she was trying to hold back her tears. "So a girl, who didn't even know while you were alive, plays your CD and you come back, but not the cries of your girlfriend who basically disowned her family to be with you, and you were so in love with or the wishes of your daughter that you never got to meet? Dad of the year, huh?"

With that, she grabbed her backpack and took off running out of the den, tears flowing. "Emily!"

[vickypoochoices]

Hold My Girl.

Author's Note: I've been gone forever! This was meant to be a short fic, because I hated the whole break up scenario and I also didn't think the London scene was realistic. I don't think you'd be able to forgive and forget in five seconds flat after a break up like that. So I've taken some of the dialogue from that chapter and done a little tweaking. Except now, I think I might have to do a part two with Big Ben. If people would want to read that?

Tagging: @zigortega4life @emerald-bijou @littlegreenmoo @krsnlove @sarzkh31

Let me know if you want to be added/removed to the tag list.

[MASTERLIST.]

Damn Abbie and her stupid phone! Damn social media! Damn Zig and his perfect smile that she missed so much! Nothing good ever came out of a little stalking session online did it? Sure, she was pretty pleased to see that gorgeous face of his again. But then she remembered, she didn’t know if she’d ever get to see that gorgeous face again. Touch that gorgeous face again. Kiss that gorgeous face again. At the very least she was relieved to see no new girlfriends or random girls. If anything, she was a little smug to see her face cropping up over and over again in older posts. Until she realised that’s exactly what they were. Old posts that meant nothing now.

Clammy fingertips slapped at her forehead in frustration, the sound vibrating off the bare walls. Launching her phone at the front door, a strangled scream of frustration followed, before the tinny echo of the radio started up. Damn it. You pick your moments. Her phone was well loved, and a little battered and bruised, constantly malfunctioning. But maybe a little music would lighten the mood?

Leaving the phone, instead she pottered into the kitchen, flicking on the kettle and humming softly in time with the pop song blaring from the floor. Steam billowed upwards as the kettle rumbled to a stop minutes later. Once the bubbling vibrations subsided, she noted the sudden change in music. I Miss You by Clean Bandit had replaced the upbeat pop song, her pulse quickening as the lyrics washed over her. Stop! “Hey Google, change stations.” Silence rang out, before the chorus of Too Good At Goodbyes by Sam Smith jolted to life. Her fingertips flexed at her side, as her free hand concentrated on dousing the teabag in boiling water. “Hey Google, change stations.” Third times a charm right? Her phone contemplated the command, a series of vibrations buzzing against the hard floor before suddenly whirring to life once again. This time her chin wobbled and her hands clutched at the kitchen work top in a desperate bid to keep herself from collapsing, a tsunami of emotion crashing over her. Not this song. Anything but this song. Please. “Hey Google, stop. Google…Google. Heyyyy. Stop. Please.” Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol continued, taunting her as she struggled to swallow down fresh tears. She’d done so well up until this point to keep them at bay, but if anything was going to tip her over the edge, it was this song. Their song.

Hot tears trickled down her face, dripping off the tip of her nose and collecting in the crevice of her dry lips, her body racked with sobs, whimpers diminishing in defeat. An inexplicable numbness surrounded her, the lyrics seeming to penetrate through her skin and infiltrate every last one of her thoughts. Thoughts she hadn’t allowed herself to have up until now. Thoughts of Zig.

Her head jerked violently, her body still swaying to an absent song, her phone having long stopped playing. A loud, urgent knock was now insistently rapping out on the front door. Her brows knitted together closely as she wearily placed one foot in front of the other. Mentally running over all the possible people at work that had her home address she came up short, shaking her head dismissively, knowing she hadn’t struck up any real friendships in her time in London.

Using the door as a shield once she pulled it back, her head peered round the corner, only one eye daring to open and come face to face with her killer. She sagged against the frame in relief, suffering a momentary lapse of memory, before realisation set in. With his feet awkwardly shuffling over the gleaming floor of the communal hallway, and his fingertips drumming against his thigh nervously, Zig stood in the doorway, a faint, uncertain ghost of a smile fixed into place.

Her mouth flapped open and shut as she gawked at him for a full minute. “I… Uhh… Hey. What are you doing here?” She cringed inwardly at her fumbled choice of greeting. There were a million and one things she could have said, yet that was all she managed to come up with on the spot.

“I’m here for you. I can’t do this any more.”

The desperation dripped off of every single word he spoke, garnering her full attention. His wavy hair had grown in the time they’d spent apart, making her wonder if she had any influence over that decision, having always preferred it on the longer side. Or maybe this was his new style? That would explain the sudden growth of facial hair. That needs to stay! Feeling the full weight of his relentless staring, she finally caved, eyes fully locking with his. They widened in surprise at the darkened circles underneath and pools of water gathering in the corner of his eyes.

Zig’s voice wobbled, grappling with the surge of emotions stirring at the sight of her. “Can I come in?”

A rush of hot hair escaped in a brief moment of hesitancy, before she finally stood aside to let Zig in. He’d barely taken two steps before stopping in his tracks, his boot clunking against her phone and sending it skidding further along the floor.

“Shit. Sorry.” He scurried across the room, stooping to pick up the phone. As his fingers curled around it, the screen lit up revealing her background photo. A photo of them both together, complete with their cat Bella, and their dog Trix. A happy family. His eyes hurriedly met hers, a surprised look spreading over his features.

Heat rushed to her face, turning her back on him and taking a few seconds to compose herself under the guise of closing the door.

“Can I get you a drink?” Her voice took on an overly cheery tone as she pushed past the embarrassment at being caught red handed. She’d done well at hiding her feelings and pretending everything was fine, but some days she’d lose count of the amount of times she’d pull her phone out just to catch a glimpse of him. Of them. Together.

“Sure. Whatever you’re having.” Zig paused, surveying his surroundings as she flicked the kettle on once more. “Is this it then? Is it just you?” He queried, sweeping his arm around the air gesturing towards the flat.

“And my super hot room mate Jack.”

A crestfallen look slipped into place as he managed a low gasp, barely audible even to himself. “Oh.”

“Sorry. Sorry. Why am I like this? I was kidding Zig!”

“Did you really just make up a fake roomie on the spot like that?”

“Oh Jack’s a real person.” She replied flatly, head down as she seemed to handle the kettle with unnecessary caution.

“But he doesn’t live with you?”

“Not anymore.”

“What happened?”

She rubbed at the back of her head sheepishly. “Ohh that. Nothing.”

Crossing his arms across his chest and leaning his weight onto one leg, he quirked an eyebrow questioningly.

“Okay fine. He said I was a nightmare to live with, can you believe that?”

Zig’s shoulders gently shook as he struggled to contain his laughter, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

“Hey!” Her eyes flashed warningly.

“Alright, sorry. What was it then? The hair down the plughole? Putting the toilet roll on the holder the wrong way? Or the toothpaste you always seem to leave in the bottom of the sink?”

Her jaw slackened, her features turning stony as she looked at him aghast. “All of the above.”

“At least he didn’t notice the weird, and completely incorrect way you stack everything in the dishwasher.” Zig chuckled light heartedly, stopping himself seconds later as she pushed her lips out into an over exaggerated pout.

“That was the last thing he said to me. ZIG! Why didn’t you tell me I’m a nightmare?”

His body tensed, taking a step back and running a finger along an oak floating shelf absent-mindedly. She slowly closed the gap a moment later, shuffling forward with two steaming mugs, holding one out at arms length for Zig.

“Zig?”

“I…I don’t think you want to hear what I have to say.”

“I’m wounded enough as it is. Come on, just kick me when I’m down why don’t you, I’m giving you a free pass here!” She looked over her shoulder to give him a playful grin as she made her way over to the plush sofa, Zig trailing behind uncertainly like a lost puppy. She slowly slinked backwards, curling her legs up underneath her, carefully setting her mug down on the glass coffee table. After a few seconds Zig followed suit.

“No that’s not it. It’s just, well, I don’t think you are a nightmare to live with really.”

“Oh please. You’ve just listed off all my terrible habits!”

“And yet i’ve lived with you for how long now without mentioning them once? Because…”

She wrapped her arms around herself instinctively, hand resting on her elbow and rubbing distractedly as Zig stopped himself, both of them aware of the words he’d just swallowed down.

He let out a low whistle as his eyes wandered once more around her rented flat. “This place is nice and all but it’s so…”

“Boring.” She finished for him, noticing his reluctance to finish what he started.

The corner of his mouth tugged upwards in a wry smile. “Yep. Totally.”

“Pretty to look at, but would it kill them to add a splash of colour? Or you know, just fill it with some…stuff? Anything really! Apparently it’s in the contract that I signed that I won’t change a thing and…Eurgh I’m sorry! You didn’t just fly like four thousand miles to hear me complain about how boring my flat is.”

“If it matters to you, it matters to me.”

Reaching out for her tea, her eyes dropped to the pale liquid, suddenly engrossed as her mind raced over the potential responses she could give him now.

“Zig don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Do that.”

One eyebrow raised in indication for her to continue.

Her free hand scrubbed harshly at her face, a long drawn out breath following. “That thing where you’re cute, caring and just all around great.”

Zig’s chuckle was gentle and light. “That’s not a thing, that’s just me.”

“Stop, you’re killing me! I forgot how perfect you are. No wait, what am I saying? Of course I didn’t!” With the mug back in place, she cradled her head in her hands, a stretched out sigh simultaneously morphing into a string of giggles. “God, sorry Zig! Lucky escape huh?”

With an unreadable expression etched onto his face as he studied her, Zig found his body slowly edging closer to hers, their eyes fixed on each other. “You know that’s not what I think.”

A flicker of hesitation rippled through him, before his hands took control, taking her small hands in his, adding a gentle squeeze of reassurance. Her pulse quickened, confliction overpowering her senses, surprising herself at the feeling of her thumb brushing against Zig’s. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

An easy silence stretched out for a few minutes, both drinking in the other’s eyes with continued strokes to the hand, revelling in the feeling of being back where they belong. But the elephant in the room was only getting harder to ignore.

“What are we doing Zig?” She managed to choke out, her throat suddenly dry.

He looked up from where he’d been contently watching her thumb stroke idle circles around his own. “I know I screwed up. We should have talked about our plans for graduation months before now. In hindsight, I realise you tried to bring it up, but I assumed things would just work out because we loved each other.”

She reeled backwards, unprepared for his sudden admission, Zig’s grip only tightening around her hands. “What are you saying?”

“Why don’t we have that talk now? And this time I’ll listen. Please give me another chance.”

She found herself nodding eagerly, the ability to speak having escaped her.

“I love you and I made a huge mistake.” A shiver trailed down her spine as the words left his mouth. Zig noticed, shrugging his denim jacket off and gently laying it over her shoulders, his face stretching as he offered her a warm smile. His smell engulfed her, her eyes fluttering shut for a split second as warmth surrounded her. She wiggled a little closer to Zig on the sofa.

“I know we agreed parting ways was the best choice for both of us, that we needed to follow our own dreams. But my dreams are nothing without you.” Zig sighed, his fingers now tangling with hers, knitting and kneading together repetitively as he worked up the courage to continue. Wiggling even further, goosebumps began to surface at the sudden close proximity. Too close. There was no going back from here. She’d already made her decision, she realised.

“They need me in Tokyo by the end of August, but instead of being excited I just feel empty. I thought I wanted an adventure, but without you, Japan feels about as exciting as a trip to the dentist. I love you baby. I love you and I miss you. Please take me back.”

Salty tears spilled down her face as her mouth flailed open and shut uselessly. Pressing his forehead against hers and dipping down to her level, they swayed for a beat, the comfortable silence cut short a minute later.

"If it’s an adventure you want, you’ve come to the right place.”

Zig’s chin inclined upwards as his head quirked questioningly.

“We could go for a butchers round Camden Lock, you’d probably fit right in there. Leather is very in around those parts.”

Zig chuckled, lacing his fingers through hers once more. “I’m not sure I can even pretend to know what half of that just meant. But I’ve moved on from leather.”

“Luckily for you, denim is pretty popular round those parts too.”

His eyes softened, warmth spreading over his features as he gave a tiny nod, gesturing for her to continue.

“We could go to a pie and mash shop, complete with jellied eels of course. Or i’ll race you down the steps in Covent Garden, there’s a spiral staircase with 193 steps. We could follow the Pearly Kings and Queens and get an awesome selfie with them. Or maybe you’d prefer the standard monarchy, with a trip to The Tower Of London or…”

She flinched as a pair of lips silenced her. Soft, warm, confident lips. Lips that felt like home. She hesitated for the briefest of seconds, before melting against him.

“I don’t care what we do today, as long as I’m with you…doing this.” He swooped down for another swift kiss, catching her bottom lip between his teeth and tugging.

Her body stilled, stunned into a ramrod straight, rigid posture. Her chest heaved upwards, breathing a laborious chore all of a sudden. A warm, pink tinge coloured her cheeks and her tongue traced along the grooves of her bottom lip. She savoured the taste, a powerful concoction that was so undeniably Zig. A hint of cigarette smoke. He must have been nervous, or stressed. The only two reasons he’d ever reach for the packet of smokes. Coffee. Jetlag is a bitch right? And an underlying taste of mint. Gum, candy, toothpaste. She didn’t know which, and frankly she didn’t care either.

The sudden assault on her senses pulled down the final barrier, fully exposing her as an influx of memories catapulted towards her head on.

The first kiss. Morning kisses. Goodnight kisses. Happy kisses. Lingering kisses. Sloppy kisses. Over the top and annoyingly in your face kisses - The kind that always made Zack say ‘Okay, you two are adorable, we get it!’. Tipsy kisses. Angry kisses. Goodbye kisses. The last kiss. Except it wasn’t. Not now. Not ever. Not if she could help it.

“I can’t believe you came all this way and you haven’t made any plans at all. The Zig I know would be desperate to get out and explore and go on an adventure. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Her tongue poked out slightly as she made light of the situation, the continuous loud thud in her ear of her heartbeat a constant reminder of the true affect Zig was having on her. That he’d always had on her.

“It’s not that I don’t have any plans. I was just kind of hoping you’d want to join me for them.

Edging backwards on the sofa, her eyes peered back at him with some skepticism as she assessed Zig. "Ah ha! I knew it. Well Ortega, that depends. I’ve been here a while now and I’ve done a lot of the touristy things already. What have you got up your sleeve that can convince me to let you take me out for the night?”

A dopey grin spread across his face, his eyes glistening eagerly. “Have you ever been inside Big Ben at night?”