#sorry shay

[teecupangel]

May I ask about #13 on the list?

Of course, nonny!

no 13 from the List of AC Fic Ideas I have at the moment:

13. Desmond meets other AC protags (Altaïr being a dick)

(note: in this fic idea, Desmond doesn't know how to speak any other language than English for more shenanigans)

Before Desmond could use the device, the Eye starts creaking and shit

The following gets transported

Altaïr Ezio Connor Edward Aveline Frye Twins Arno Ade

Desmond’s like wtf

But at the same time, holy shit

Desmond being hey, hey Ezio (points at self) Desmond! Dessmmoonndd

Ezio being DESMOND? MY DESMOND???????

Evie about to pass out because OH MY GOD! It's Ezio Auditore and Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad! OH MY GOD! ARE YOU SEEING THIS JACOB? JACOB!!! (Stop hitting me, Evie! Yes! I see them! Ow!)

(insert Edward and Connor moment here)

(NOTE: Take Arno from Dead Kings, NOT base game. Apple is better than sword and we do not want to deal with the whole Elise dumb dying thing.)

Desmond trying to organize the Assassins. 

Team English

Desmond Connor Aveline Frye twins Edward Ade

Team French 

Ezio Arno

Altaïr staring at all of them as they try to communicate for a few minutes with Aveline being the only French/English speaker so she's translating everything before finally showing he understands ENGLISH AND FRENCH

Desmond: Oh, you dick

Altaïr admitting it's strange that he understands their French and English and is also speaking their French and English 

They realize it's ISU bullshit (would be nice if it gave everyone a way to speak to each other like a universal translator but the Isus are bigger dicks than Altaïr)

Ends:

All of them came from a period where they were using an ISU artifact. 

They use their ISU tech to help Desmond not die. 

They remain in the present???

Ends with Desmond being oh no

Dude, keep this a oneshot or you know you're gonna end up writing Desmond x everybody. 

Add to End Notes when posting:

Hey, teecup. Where's Shay??? 

Okay. Serious talk. I was thinking if I should include Shay but I realize that the only point that we know Shay held a POE was in Portugal before the earthquake so we'll get Assassin!Shay who has no idea that he became a turncoat. Another thing is that if I added Shay, there will have to be a conflict between him and Arno and that would have turned this entire thing more serious and I just wanted to write something fun.

Also...

I made this for this idea:

[lunarmoves]

fresh out of the shower, you're sitting in your living room idly scrolling on your phone when moon crawls towards you—gaze intently focused on your hands.

"what's up?" you murmur, the gentle glow of his eyes painting your clothes in ruby. the lights are out for the evening and the moonlight filtering through your open windows adorns the walls with an angelic touch.

he doesn't say anything, just tilts his head and reaches out to take hold of your free hand. you let him, curiosity at his actions taking root in your stomach as you watch him run a smooth, metal finger over your own. once, then twice, then thrice.

"wrinkly," he says, low, after a quiet moment of observation. you raise an eyebrow at him, then realize he's repetitively brushing over the same distal spot on each of your fingers.

"well, yes," you chortle and set your phone to the side so you can show him both your hands and their fingertips. "they're all pruned from my shower. see?"

he hums, leaning forward slightly so that his clothed chest comes into contact with your knee. in this manner, with him squatted on the floor before you and his back hunched in the shape of a question mark, he's a bit shorter than you. he uses it to his advantage, slouching further into your space. his forearm rests on your thigh.

"how long does it last?" he asks, his larger hand enveloping your own so his thumb can run up and down your index finger. he is, for all intents and purposes, utterly captivated. his gaze does not stray from his ministrations.

you make a contemplative sound. "eh, not sure. 's not too long, though. maybe a couple minutes. it has something to do with blood vessels constricting, i think." you shrug lightly. "my toes do the same thing."

you wiggle them as he leans back to peer down at your bare feet, then yelp and nudge him with your knee as he moves to pick one up with a cold hand. "hey! no touching!"

moon snickers and relents, slipping forward once more to lean across your lap. he plays with your fingers, then slips his between your own to hold your hands together. you breathe easy, marveling at the difference in size—metal and flesh, resting flush against one another. unnatural in a way that makes something in your stomach clench.

"ugly." he grins sharply up at you, squeezing your hand gently to let you know he's teasing. you stick your tongue out at him and let out a soft laugh.

"yeah, yeah, silly human with silly skin." you roll your eyes in good nature and squeeze his hand back.

and the two of you sit like that, hands interlocked as the stars rotate across the night sky—two puzzle pieces joined together for a moment of peace.

[mushed-kid]

vld as textposts etc. 51

(wowzers im shocked every time i make one of these, idek if people still like them)

[eggsdrawings]

carnivorous 🩸 fem dabihawks

[spinospine]

[theacblade]

WOW it's been a hot minute since I posted! Enjoy!

[rachel-bloom]

I swore I never let you string me along again.

[ladyylesbian]

Put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for which one they like the most.

tagged by @shrrpteeth 🫶

No pressure tags: @tothestarsinvelaris @haeva @lavendarneverlands @archerons-elain @youreatotalposer @yelenaslyubov

[sunroseofthewood]

I might be the only person on the planet who ships this but *tosses Marashai art at you*

[theroseempress]

The duality of writing; inflicting The Horrors on a character while mumbling 'man, that's terrible' to yourself.

[starswallowingsea]

It's almost New Years! Who are you sharing your New Years kiss with?

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[griffsin]

haven't looked too deeply into the neil gaiman accusations, but my heart hurts to its core about this. neil was incredibly influential to me in my formative years as a writer, to the point where I always separated out his books in my personal library -- to go back to, to reference, to study. I wanted to be just like him. when I met him in 2013, at a reading for ocean at the end of the lane on a rainy Nashville afternoon, I told him as much. "I want to write just like you." and he told me not to -- to instead, write just like me.

everything I have ever written was, in many ways, because of him. every poem every short story every chapter. if it all winds up being true, I think a part of my art will always be broken, irreparably. if it all winds up being true, then obviously, obviously, support the victims, and fuck him, forever.

but I, personally, will spend my whole life exorcising him from my words. and I know some people will say, "hah! that's what you get for idolizing a celebrity!" I was twelve. his work lit a fire in me at a delicate point in my life, as all good art should do; my mistake was carrying that blind adoration into adulthood.

I'm rambling now, but all this is to say that one day, I will have to do as he asked -- I will write like me. but his style, his presence, will haunt my words forever, the way a heavy smell lingers in your childhood home, echoed remnants of a place you can never fully return to.

neil, one of these days I will fulfill my promise to you, one you probably don't remember but I have never forgotten -- I will finally write like me. but I will forever hate, resent, and mourn the fact that despite everything, it will still be because of you.

[lunarmoves]

in the aftermath of the pizzaplex's fire and your acquisition of a new roommate, you had yet to grow accustomed to a little... quirk of theirs that you hadn't expected to arise: their need to be in the same room as you all the time.

which wouldn't be a problem in itself if it wasn't literally every. single. room. in your apartment.

"sun!" you snapped as you heard the telltale sound of your bathroom door creaking open over the pattering stream of your shower. you were pretty sure you'd locked it. "come on, again?! what did i say about privacy?"

you could see his silhouette emerge through your curtain, tall and slender. a huff escaped your lips as you peeked around its edge to see him standing in the fluorescent lighting of your bathroom. his hands were clasped together in front of his chest and his eyes immediately latched onto your face with a little twitch.

there was a small pause as you frowned at him. then he spoke with a mild inflection to his voice. "you were taking too long."

"sun," you said, exasperation thickly lining your words, "i was in here for barely five minutes."

his rays spun slightly to the left, eyes creasing as he squinted at you. "that's five minutes too long!"

you had to resist the urge to drag a hand down your face. sun only watched you, something ephemeral passing over his faceplate that you couldn't quite catch. you sighed and ducked back behind the curtain. "fine! stay there while i finish, please."

you knew from past experience that he wouldn't leave no matter how much you threatened him, so—utterly resigned as you were—you let him hang around as you sped through the rest of your shower. his shadow swayed side to side idly, gaze no doubtfully still latched onto the little gap where your curtain stretched desperately to reach the wall. you kept an eye on it just in case.

with a squeak of the faucet, you turned off the shower and squeezed out some of the water from your hair. then you reached out to grab your towel hanging from a hook just beyond the curtain, pulling it quickly towards you so you could pat yourself dry and wrap it around your body.

and with reluctance lining your fingers, you dragged the curtain to the side and blinked up at sun standing closer than before—hands twisting themselves together.

he grinned down at you, head bowed forwards. a white pupil stared down at you against a backdrop of indecipherable grey. "done?"

"yes," you huffed and reached out a damp hand to push against his chassis. he moved to the side with your ministrations as you stepped out of the bath and made to grab the clothes you'd set on the sink's counter. before you could, though, sun reached out a large hand and swept the bundle into his grasp.

you gave him the stink eye, but he only spun his rays eagerly at you. "allow me, friend!"

"fine, fine." you rolled your eyes and exited the bathroom, not bothering with the lights since sun would flick them off as he followed. you beelined straight for your room, your lithe sun-shaped shadow sticking closely behind you.

"just dump those in the hamper." you waved towards said hamper as you walked over to your dresser to start pulling out your pajamas.

"can do!" sun saluted and made his way over to it to toss your clothes inside. the bells attached to his wrists gave a little jingle as he did so.

you picked out a large shirt and tossed a glance at sun over your shoulder, where he stood in the middle of your room and watched you with those blank eyes of his. "remember what i told you, bud? give me literally two minutes to change."

sun swayed on his feet a little, a sort of unwillingness sticking to his wired frame. "but—"

"sun," you said in a way that left no room for argument. you pinned him with a serious look and pointed to the ajar door. "out."

like something straight out of a kid's cartoon, sun slumped forward, arms hanging loosely in front of him like a puppet cut from its strings. you had to suppress an eye roll at his theatrics. "heartbreak be my downfall in the end! oh woe is me!" you followed after him with a snort as he sighed loudly and turned slowly around to trudge out your room. "does love not sway your actions against me—"

"yeah, yeah," you interrupted him once he'd passed over the threshold of your bedroom and turned around to give you as much of a puppy-eyed look as he could for a seven foot robot. "two minutes, man."

before he could distract you again with some dramatic tirade, you shut the door in his face and locked it. for certain, this time. you eyed the knob, then trudged deeper into your room to go through your nightly routine. a glance at your door showed a shadow lingering just outside of it and you huffed quietly.

hair was dried, lotion was applied to your skin. you tugged your undergarments and pants over your legs before grabbing onto your shirt. and just as you were about to tug it on, you heard a faint click.

your gaze immediately snapped over to your bedroom door, and you had just enough time to throw your shirt on before a familiar face poked through the gap. rays spun impishly at you as you placed your hands on your hips and glared at the perpetrator. "dude, seriously?"

"two minutes were up!" sun replied defensively and stepped further into your bedroom. his grin was stretched wide over his face, gaze firmly cemented onto your own.

you pinched at the bridge of your nose. "sun. you really need to give me more privacy. i have boundaries and you need to respect them, okay? both of you." lord knew moon wasn't any better.

sun cocked his head at you, the quiet of your room disrupted only by a quiet whirr that came from his chassis. and there it was again—that look that glossed over his face too quickly for you to decipher properly. you shifted uncomfortably, damp hair sticking to the back of your neck.

"privacy," he mused quietly to himself. then, after the drop of a beat "we do not understand it."

"we have had this conversation before, i'm sure." you sighed with all the exhaustion of someone who had too much to deal with too soon.

"yes," he agreed easily, approaching your form closer until he stood mere feet away. a chill settled around you, accentuated by the way sun watched you attentively. "we still do not understand."

you opened your mouth to go through your usual spiel, but before you could, sun bent forward so that his face was level with your own. your jaw clicked shut as you were forced to stare into pinprick pupils threatening to drag you under.

"we do not understand," sun whispered, and the change was so stark that your heart stuttered in your chest. "we have given you all that we are and more," he mulled in a clipped manner, inscrutable. "bared ourselves to you. bent backwards at your every call and whim." his gaze pierced through you in an unyielding strike.

you pursed your lips together, something cold settling itself in your chest. "i didn't—"

but he cut across you before you could finish, his eyes widening in an intense stare that you had a difficult time uncovering where this was all coming from. his smile grew taut like a string about to snap.

"it is only fair you return the favor, friend."

[acgames]

Shay and Great Auks as a sacrifice to join the Cormac-cult

Yes, Shay most likely squatted there like this for hours, but getting to have Great Auk nibble fish from your hand was worth possible hypothermia...

[gramarye]

i know she be running a mcdonalds like its the navy...

[teecupangel]

wenas wenas,

I was thinking, if the characters of Assassin's Creed were Olympians athletes, which sport they would play?

Like as examples Arno would do fencing, Shao Jun probably artistic gymnastics, Jacob maybe Boxing, Altaïr maybe modern pentathlon, but I really want to hear your thought in this (including Desmond).

So for this one, we’ll focus on the main characters in AC games and maybe some will have duplicate sports, we’ll see XD

Altaïr – Modern Pentathlon (I would have made a joke and say Marathon Swimming but Pentathlon actually works so much better for him XD)

Ezio – Shooting or Equestrian Dressage or Equestrian Jumping

Ratonhnhaké:ton - Archery

Haytham – Golf (he’s a rich boy in a modern day au, dude knows how to play golf)

Desmond - Triathlon (the power of three is strong on Desmond XD)

Aveline – Rhythmic Gymnastics or Tennis

Edward - Diving or Surfing or Sailing

Adéwalé - Diving or Rowing or Sailing

Shay - Canoe Sprint or Canoe Slalom or Sailing (honestly, he, Edward and Adéwalé can switch among themselves with Rowing, Sailimng and the Canoe sports, I tried to focus on the ‘boat’ aspect)

Arno - Fencing

Jacob - Boxing

Evie – Tennis (Evie looked like someone who would learn how to play tennis)

Shao Jun – Artistic Gymastics

Nikolai – Shooting (it would be funny to see someone as serious as Nikolai be in Table Tennis or Breaking XD)

Arbaaz – Football or Athletics

Layla – Beach Volleyball (definitely flirting with the teams she’s up against, all in good fun though)

Bayek – one of the team sports and he’s the captain

Kassandra - Wrestling – Greco-Roman or Weightlifing

Eivor - Canoe Sprint or Rowing

Basim - Sport Climbing or Cycling BMX Freestyle (I’m imagining Mirage Basim so something a bit too reckless for Valhalla Basim)