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#sorry this is terrible 😭😭 I was procrastinating doing actual work
nicomoon69 · 4 months
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Tim getting that Bernussy
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vampzxi · 2 years
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𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕!𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚒 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜
another filler bc the shuriri fic is almost done! 😭 i’m sorry for the lag ive just had writers block. but i saw @inmyheadimobsessed ‘s post abt shuri being a silly jokester and that’s what inspired this :3
highschool!riri headcanons here!
taglist!: @letitias-fav @inmyheadimobsessed @pinkwright @abenomeiiii @generallysapphic @shuriszn @la-reine-insane @unknownpisces002 (ask to be added!) (sorry if i forgot you, just remind me!! i’m absent minded as fuck 😭)
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academic
・❥・top of her class, obviously
・❥・probably tutors on the side
・❥・argues with teachers if they get something slightly incorrect
・❥・gets finished with her work early and bothers other people in class
・❥・gets in trouble for bothering people but everyone loves her stupid jokes
・❥・plays pranks on the teacher during test day
・❥・turns in her work late because she either forgets to or she’s too focused on making it perfect
・❥・hates group work and always bribes her partners into just letting them doing it herself so they get a good grade
・❥・mutters to herself while working, slightly pissing off the people around her
・❥・favorite subject is science and she wastes class time by ranting to her teacher about science
・❥・spends more time at school than she does at home
・❥・huge procrastinator
・❥・messy notes
・❥・doesn’t show her work, much to the dismay of her teachers
・❥・doesn’t bother to raise her hand in class
・❥・willingly shares her notes with anyone…for a price of course
social
・❥・jokester, rarely takes anything seriously unless it’s about her schoolwork
・❥・chronic class skipper, only attends if she feels it’s necessary
・❥・dabbles in the za 🍃 but not a stoner. just in social situations really
・❥・hopeless romantic but very awkward. she’ll gush to her friends about a girl but clam up when she actually talks to her crush
・❥・makes sex jokes. a lot. maybe too much.
・❥・has a burner tiktok account where she trolls people
・❥・loves parties but gets overstimulated really quickly
・❥・loves kids and will babysit for anyone. she makes little trinkets for each of the kids she watches
・❥・robotics club team captain
・❥・terrible at sports but loves to run. tried track and field in her freshman year
・❥・throws on sweatpants or a tracksuit whenever she wakes up
・❥・refuses to eat school lunch, will go off-campus with riri to eat
・❥・does everything with riri, literally attached to the hip
・❥・cat lover
・❥・video game nerd, favorite games include mortal kombat and smash bros
・❥・fidgeter
・❥・dislikes traditionally girly things, but loves jewelry and chains
・❥・guilty pleasure is hyper-pop music, but will deny it if anyone asks
romantic
・❥・if you do have a crush on her, good luck, bc she’ll be too oblivious to notice ☠️
・❥・her love language is touch, she’ll absentmindedly fidget with your hair or tap her fingers on your leg
・❥・knarly morning breath.
・❥・cant cook for shit so she relies on you for food
・❥・favorite date place is escape rooms or fairs/arcades
・❥・terrible road rage, so you’re usually in charge of transportation ☠️
・❥・leaves cute notes in your locker or texts them to you through the day
・❥・will blow your phone up with memes (usually dad jokes but you laugh at them bc it’s shuri…)
・❥・very possessive
・❥・offers to do your work for you multiple times, but the teachers know her so well that they can tell if she did someone else’s work
・❥・stupid flirty jokes that aren’t funny but they make you laugh anyways
・❥・very one-track minded, so sometimes she’ll forget to text you back. she makes it up to you in other ways
・❥・gets unreasonably upset if you start watching something without her
・❥・has a tongue piercing 🤫
・❥・posts you on her story/insta a lot, maybe too much. but she loves you too much to not show you off
・❥・very tender headed, will not let anyone but you style her hair
・❥・has a million alarms that she sleeps through, so you have to borderline punch her every morning to wake her up (heavy sleeper)
・❥・little spoon
・❥・favorite place to kiss you is under your ear or forehead
this was lowk so much fun to make ngl. i might do one for riri :3 thanks for reading! (shuriri fic is still on the works don’t worry) leave your headcanons in the replies or reblogs!
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starrzhao · 1 year
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what are the odds? | k.tr
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synopsis you've tried numerous attempts in confessing to taerae but somehow it always ends up turning into unfortunate accidents…misleading taerae into thinking you hate him at some poor attempts
pairing taerae x gn!reader
genre romance, fluff, humor, angst if you squint
word count 9.6k
content/tags sfw, miscommunication/misunderstanding trope, university!au setting, part-time barista!taerae
warnings I am not funny but I tried, swearing, a lotta things are unrealistic (anyways it’s fiction lol) , the y/n here is kind of a dumbass sorry (to clarify, you are not dumb at all! I’m just referring to the mc here 😭😞), low-key gave up halfway so things may be messy, will try to edit and proofread later when I have the time
featuring former boys planet trainees, kum junhyeon , park hanbin , cha woongki and seowon
taglist @leagreenly @kpoprhia @dimplewonie @shanb1n @wtfhyuck @mikaymee (kindly send an ask/dm if you’d like to be added or removed)
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HOW IT ALL STARTED
One of your friends, sung hanbin had decided to host an open-mic event at his cafe for the first time. At first, you didn’t want to go because of the number of assignments you had all piled up as your horridly long to-do list was desperate for your attention. but your friend was also desperate too, begging you to come as he was afraid only a few people would bother to show up.
So being the good friend you are (and terrible procrastinator looking for an excuse to not do work), you decided to go. Your other friends, zhanghao, ricky and junhyeon also tagged along to support as well.
To your surprise, the cafe was actually really full, more and more people rolled in every hour and although you loved to socialize, your battery was draining from seeing the number of people at a high.
There were a lot of talented people who took the stage. With some pouring out their emotions with their personal spoken-word poetry, some inducing laughter with stand-up comedy and some taking the stage to sing their heart out with a touching ballad or a fun pop song.
It was a particularly entertaining night but with the number of people increasing in the cafe, it was draining and dreadful to be with a swarm of people. It wasn’t that you didn’t like to socialize, it was just suffocating to be in a large crowded cafe.
It was 1 am but the open-mic was still lively and has yet to reach its end with a quite big number of people still waiting in line to take the stage.
“I want to go home.” You yawn before comfortably resting your head on the table as you hear another poetry number.
“I gotta go I have a 7 am class tomorrow, the professor will rip my head off if I’m late again. I already told hanbin so he won’t kill me. Bye guys.” Ricky was the first one to leave from your group, bidding you guys a farewell.
Hanbin begged you guys to stay throughout the whole open mic to ensure there was going to be an audience for every performer. As the hours passed, less and less people were at the cafe.
“Thank you to everyone who came today especially to the ones who decided to stay until the end of our event. Now we know there’s still some of you who wish to perform their piece tonight but I’m afraid we have to end it after one last performance. Do not fret, there will be another open-mic event in the future! I hope to see you all stop by again. “ Hanbin relays his closing remarks for the event.
“And now, to finally wrap our event, let’s give the stage to the last but definitely not the least, kim taerae! Let’s all give it up for him.” Claps and cheers echoed through the room for the last performer. A young man walked into the stage with a guitar in his hand, he was dressed in a white denim jacket with a pair of blue jeans and his hair was styled in a little messy perm. He enters the stage and greets the crowd with a sweet smile.
“Hello everyone! I am kim taerae and to end today’s open-mic on a good note, I will be singing man in love by infinite. Hope you enjoy.” You were a little surprised at his low voice. You get up from your position and sit uptight, eager to watch the performance of the new man you found attractive. From his looks and to his speaking voice, he already seemed promising .
The moment he started singing, you melted over his vocals. His voice was quite deep yet also so sweet and soft. His voice was so captivating and everyone in the audience was in awe.
The performance was so satisfying and heartwarming to watch. He was also looking into the eyes of the members of the audience as if he was in a concert. At one point, your eyes meet and you felt your heart skip a beat as he flashed a charming bright smile as his eyes met yours for a moment.
At that moment, you felt your world stop for a moment like you have just met eye-to-eye with the love of your life. All throughout the performance, you felt as if you two were the only one there. As if taerae was pouring all those words out to you.
Soon, the song had finally come to an end and the crowd loudly claps and cheers, everyone was swooned by his heartfelt performance.
“Thank you everyone, hope you all enjoyed the night and get home safe. Take care!” He bids his farewell and everyone immediately stands up from their seats, ready to leave the event.
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The next day arrived and here you were on your first day in a new class. You were sleep deprived and was trying your hardest not to fall asleep as soon as you sat down.
Everyone else chatted about whatever went on in their lives. A lot of the others already knew each other too. You were sitting in the back with no one next to you, feeling slightly out of place.
“Hey may I sit here?” A familiar low voice spoke. You get up and look at your left. Loe and behold, It was that sweet singer from yesterday.
“Yes of course.” You reply and flash a small smile.
“You’re kim taerae?”
“Oh yeah! How do you know me?
“I recognize you, you were at the open-mic last night at the cafe last night, right?”
“Ah yes that’s me!” He lightly chuckles in response.
“You were incredible last night, you were the perfect person to end the show. Your singing was amazing! It was so sweet and satisfying to hear. And then when y-I’m so sorry I think I’m rambling now.” His ears turned red from your compliment, keeping a shy smile on over the compliments you gave. You worried that you were doing too much.
“No no it’s fine! And thank you so much, I appreciate it, really.”
“ sorry I forgot to introduce myself but I’m y/n by the way. nice to meet you taerae.” You let your hand out to which he gladly shakes.
“And I’m well, as you already know haha, taerae but it’s very nice to meet you y/n. looking forward to getting to know you.” That sweet smile painted on his face as he seats himself next to you.
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you have liked, actually no scratch that, you have been in love with taerae since the first day you met him..
After becoming seatmates on the first day and getting along, you were bound to see each other every week, and after talking to him during every class, sharing about anything and everything in your lives instead of actually paying attention to your lectures, your feelings had gotten stronger as you had gotten to know him more over the course of a few months
He was a very smart, humble and sweet person. A million words weren’t even enough to describe his personality. To top it all off, he was incredibly handsome too. He had that sweet signature smile that always brightened your day. It was hard not to fall for someone like him.
He also became a part-time employee at hanbin’s cafe, although you only every visited once a week to see hanbin, you started going everyday to see taerae.
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“hey y/n we know that you’re down bad for mr. cutie pie over there but please pay attention to your friends.” junhyeon snaps at you from your trance after catching you once, again getting lost in your own world staring at taerae for the millionth time today.
currently, you and your friends were hanging at the cafe owned by hanbin located near your uni.
“Yeah, huh yes.” junhyeon and gunwook laugh at your reaction.
Speaking of the devil(or angel, you would think), taerae suddenly approaches your table.
“hey guys I’m clocking out now, just tell hanbin if you need anything. and y/n see you on monday!” he sends you his signature smile as he waves at your friends a farewell as he leaves the cafe.
“see you!” you were smiling so big at him, unaware of how you were smiling so big like a fool. junhyeon and gunwook giggle and whisper amongst themselves, teasing your absolutely lovesick state.
“yeah and they say they have a little crush, and they’ve been trying to hide it.” Junhyeon teases.
“Oh shut up.” You smack his arm and turn away, trying to hide your so painfully obvious blushing state.
“we are so sick of you shooting heart eyes at him for the longest time, oh god when do you plan on finally asking him out?” gunwook says.
“now that you mention it I think I’m planning on confessing to taerae soon.”
your friends dramatically gasp altogether. they certainly didn’t expect you to make a move a year after meeting him.
“You really are?”
“Yeah I was actually thinking of telling him after the open-mic tomorrow.”
“Ooooh how?” Sung hanbin chips in as he takes a seat at your table and casually sneaks a bite from zhanghao’s cheesecake sitting on the table.
“hey what the hell that’s mine, don’t think you’re so slick.” zhanghao snatches the fork from hanbin’s hand and hanbin chuckles at zhanghao’s annoyed state.
“hanbin what are you doing here aren’t you supposed to be working?” you turn to look at him and he comfortably sinks his back into the couch.
“you guys are the only ones here anyways and I’m closing the cafe in a bit. i also heard the words taerae and confess so of course I had to join in.”
“anyways moving back to the topic, how are you going to tell him” hanbin mentions once again.
“I was just planning on just simply saying it. All straight forward like hey.. I like you.”
Your friends squeal in excitement, you bury your face in your hands, embarrassed.
“I have a hunch he likes you too.” your ears turn red over what hanbin said, thinking the possibility of taerae reciprocating his feelings made you feel a little happy inside.
“Wishing you luck ” Hanbin pats your shoulder..
“Yeah like what are the odds that things could go wrong?”
RIGHT, WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
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ATTEMPT 1 : THE OPEN MIC
“thank you for attending our open mic event this month ! I truly appreciate all your support and I’m always amazed by the talented performers that take on the stage. Hope you all get home safe and sound, thank you once again and I hope to see you again in our monthly open mic event once again next month.”
“Good luck.” Hanbin whispers in your year, sending you a fighting gesture as you proceed to look for taerae.
You look around and you spot him behind the cashier, currently counting a bunch of coins in his hand.
“Hey!” You catch the boy’s attention as he looks up and immediately flashes a smile as you near him.
“Hey what’s up? Did you enjoy tonight’s open-mic?”
“Yeah I did! And like always, you did absolutely amazing.” Taerae’s face flushing red after your compliment, you always found it so adorable when he’d get so shy.
“Uh taerae, I just wanted to tell you something.”
“Go ahead. I’m listening.” He places his arm on the counter, resting his chin on his palm, ready to listen to you.
“I don’t know where to begin..so the thing is.”
You take a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for the moment.
“I’ve been keeping on eye on a certain someone for awhile now. Well whatever I shouldn’t be beating around the bush. I like-“
“Taerae! Let’s go!” A blue haired boy comes and wraps his arm around taerae’s neck, ruffling through his hair. You presumed it was the blue-haired roommate taerae always referred to in his stories about his dorm life.
“Later hanbin! Y/n’s trying to tell me something, go on..”
“Oh I’m so sorry I was interrupting something..”
“I like hearing the stories about your roommate, I wanted to meet him.” It just slipped. Forcing yourself to lie was defenitely not something you wanted to do but you felt too awkward to continue confessing.
“That’s me! Hello I am park hanbin, taerae’s amazing roommate that you hear about in his stories.” Hanbin winks at you, and puts his hand out. You shake his hand, pretending like you eagerly wanted to get to know him.
“Oh hey! That’s cool so I always heard really interesting stories about you so I’ve been dying to meet you.” You lied.
“I hear about you too, you seem cool. Hey wanna exchange numbers?”
“Yeah that’d be cool.” You and hanbin pull out your phones and quickly exchange numbers as taerae stands awkwardly behind the counter, witnessing your interaction.
“So uh i guess we can take our leave now? Thanks for coming today y/n and see you tomorrow during class!” Taerae pats hanbin’s shoulders, lowkey pushing him to go.
“Oh of course. See you taerae!” You smile and wave as they slowly take their leave.
“Nice to meet you y/n see you around too!” Hanbin cheekily throws a heart shooting gesture at you.
That was not definitely what you wanted to do.
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PERHAPS A LETTER WILL DO?
“I don’t know if I can directly say it to him again.” You contemplated as you drew along your sketchbook. You were currently in ricky and zhanghao’s dorm, making a sketch of taerae as the two seriously focus on finishing their plates for their art classes due the next day, them being typical art students, while ranting about your confession process for the second time.
“Then perhaps you can try saying it to him by writing it in a letter instead?” Ricky suggests as he calmly moves the brush strokes against his canvas, multitasking listening to you while painting for his final’s project in his drawing and painting class.
“Writing him a letter-okay wait ricky I think that’s a great idea, I think i can do that.” you gasp as you turn to him, enlightened by the idea that doesn’t deal with direct confrontation.
“Eh but how are you doing it? Are you going to mail it? You know it’s a hassle and the courier rates are hell here or do you plan on just handing it to him then running away like an idiot. ” Zhanghao asks and you realize you didn’t fully grasp the idea yet. Writing down your feelings through a letter was definitely easier but how were you going to execute it?
“Hyung don’t be too pessimistic, it’s not so bad of an idea.” Ricky defends.
“Okay well..aha! I’ll just give it to him in the cafe after his shift, or I’ll just ask hanbin to slip it in his bag since I’m pretty sure it’d be impossible to slip it in during class.”
“Hmm..actually yeah that’s possible..not bad of an idea.”
“I’m a genius! oh hey guys look at my drawing, what do you think?” You flaunt your poorly drawn portrait of your crush and ricky lets out a huge laugh while zhanghao sends you a mortified look.
“is that taerae?” zhanghao points to your drawing, which was quite literally obvious as you wrote his name in red at the side.
“Yeah..i tried to draw him from memory.” You scratch the back of your head, embarrassed.
“Well as a fine arts student, I can definitely say it’s a drawing. Very abstract!” You send ricky a glare and smack his arm as he lets out a laugh.
“you should be thankful I didn’t pursue arts, picasso’s definitely shitting his pants right now.” You jokingly remarked.
“But I truly can’t draw at all what the hell.”
“It’s good that you know.” Ricky jokingly insults and you shoot him a glare.
You rip that paper from the sketchbook, folding it neatly and putting it to the side.
You open a new page, taking a deep breath before writing away your feelings on the paper. But everytime you wrote, your inner perfectionist fought you, making you restart the letter multiple times.
There were multiple pieces of papers scattered around ricky’s table and you had been stressing over it for over an hour and a half before finally finding the perfect words to say.
eventually you got all worn out from using all your brain power for the past hour as you fell asleep on ricky’s desk.
“psst, y/n you need to go, it’s getting late. “ at around 8pm, zhanghao wakes you up. You were a little groggy but you made sure to stand up and grab the letter as you leave. There were way too many paper in the desk and you had only remembered seeing the paper right next to you, but there were two, you bring the one on the right, assuming it was the letter.
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you poured your heart out into the letter and made sure each and every word you said was heartfelt and true. you were about to pack the paper and you immediately hand it to hanbin upon arriving at the cafe in the morning. nervous yet also excited about sending taerae the letter.
and so, you wait for the next day to arrive.
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“Hey taerae check your belongings before you leave! Need to make sure you don’t leave anything in the cafe, closing up in a bit.“ hanbin yells from the stock room as he secretly grins to himself. taerae rummages through his backpack, thoroughly checking through his things.
He finds a piece of paper in the front pocket and curiously, of course he opens it. Taerae immediately held his hand to his mouth, shocked over what he saw.
You anxiously waited for taerae to come to class as you fiddled with your fingers, afraid of what taerae’s reaction to the letter would be.
You spot taerae coming in and he waves at you from afar. You felt a sense of relief as you see taerae still openly greeting you and going your direction to take the seat next to yours like always.
“Hey. ” Taerae sits down and all of a sudden his face was painted with a hint of worry. You mentally start panicking over what he was going to say. Is he going to reject me? Tell me to get lost? Why does he lowkey looks scared? you thought
Taerae goes to grab something from his bag and you gulp nervously. He takes out a piece of paper and passes it to you.
“Oh taerae…”
“Open it.” He says and your hands shake a little as you open up the folded piece of paper, your heart was beating fast and taerae looked down on his desk, his hands clasped together, he just looked really anxious.
You open it and your eyes widen in shock.
“Oh shit.”
“Right? Isn’t it terrifying?” He points at the paper, hesitant to look at it. It was the poorly drawn portrait of him that you made when you were at hao and ricky’s dorm.
How the hell would you mess this up? And then it hit you, you grabbed the first paper you sw at the desk, assuming what you grabbed would be the letter.
“it’s scary to me because just look at the drawing, are they trying to say something about my appearance? And my name’s in red on the bottom. I thought it was a litte gift but when you think about it, would someone really gift you something like this.” You felt an arrow shoot through your heart. Not only did he just diss your drawing skills but he quickly assumed that this drawing was sent from a secret hater?
“what if they’re just shitty at drawing, you know but they were trying to do a nice little gesture?”
“But the red name, the poor handwriting, it just really feels like a hate message.” You felt your spirit leave your body.
“I don’t know I feel like I have to be on the lookout now, I’m scared someone’s coming after me.”
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“YOU SENT HIM THE DRAWING?” ricky bursts out laughing at your failed mail delivery attempt.
“No oh my god my stomach hurts so much I can’t handle it..and the fact he thinks it’s a hate message is so fucking funny.” Ricky held onto stomach from laughing so hard and you glare at him. It was certainly not helping the embarrassment your were experiencing at the moment.
“Okay stop laughing dumbass it’s not funny.”
“Oh it is, it really is..” You smack his arm to make him get a grip and ricky lets out a loud ‘Ow’.
“Now what the fuck am I gonna do! I’m doomed!”
“You can always try again, you know? Maybe next time double check what you’re going to send to make sure you don’t send the love of your life your cursed looking drawings.”
“who send what what now?” Junhyeon quickly plops a seat next to ricky.
“y/n just sent taerae a drawing of him and he..thought it was….a threat..” ricky tries to hold his laugh in between his words.
“makes sense your skills are the worse of the worse i feel like i lose ten years of my life when I see you do any sort of artwork.”
“Oh shut up! Why are you all just constantly after my ass.”
“Anyways did you actually try to confess to him by using a drawing? “ junhyeon asked, visibly confused.
“No no no! I was supposed to leave him a letter. The thing is in the morning, I went to the cafe in the morning with hao to hand hanbin the letter so he could sneak it in his bag. I think i handed him the wrong one..because I was holding on to both of the folded papers and I forgot which was which..”
“Typical y/n moment..” ricky says and you raise your fork at him.
“Yeah okay okay.” ricky raises his hands in the air to defend himself from you potentially striking at him with your fork.
“Guys what do I do..”
“Why don’t you just tell him directly?” Junhyeon asks..
“Last time, I slipped up and lied that I wanted to mee his roommate, knowing damn well I don’t care about his roommate at all.””
“So what were you actually trying to send?“
“Okay I got another idea this time!” Ricky raises his hand you furrow one of your eyebrows at him.
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ATTEMPT 2 : LEAVING THE LETTER AT THE LECTURE ROOM
“What time did hanbin say he was gonna come?”
“Hmm in like 30 minutes. He ends his shift at around 4.” Hao tells you. This time you were meant to leave the letter on his desk. Hanbin said he left his things in the lecture room and was going back after his shift to retrieve them.
you of course also made sure to double check to prevent the same mistake from happening again, it would be too much. You were positive that this time, nothing would go wrong and taerae would finally be able to read the words you’ve been meaning to relay.
“Shit shit shit! Guys I hear footsteps, I think it’s him!” Junhyeon yelled and panic immediately seeps into you.
“What? I thought his shift ends at 4, uh whatever guys hide!”
You and hao sneak under one of the tables at the back while junhyeon stood for awhile looking left and right, trying to figure out where to hide while he hears the footsteps getting louder and louder so he just hides behind the door, facing the corner, putting his black hoodie on.
Taerae walks into the room and hums a soft tune as he casually walks on his way onto his designated seat. He finds the paper on top and tilts his head to the side, surprised upon seeing a folded paper again. He scans the whole room with his sight before proceeding to slowly flip the fold.
The door abruptly closes as it emits an eerily creaking sound that echoed across the room. Taerae looks at its direction and notices a tall figure in a black hoodie at the corner of the room. His heart began to beat at an alarmingly fast rate.
“W-who are you?” He stutters out of fear as he slowly approaches the figure. The figure freezes into place, not moving an inch from its position.
“Were you here for me?” He slowly walks over and tries to gently approach the figure, he reaches out and tugs on the person’s arm and they suddenly turn around, instantly head butting taerae before he could take a look into their face, sending taerae into a fainting spell as he collapses onto the floor.
“Junhyeon what the fuck!” You and hao quickly rush over to the now, passed out, taerae laying on the floor.
“You shithead why did you headbutt him!”
“I didn’t want him to know it was me, okay! It was also a reflex i don’t know!”
“Yeah? Are you crazy!? He’s literally unconscious right now!!”
“But he’s not dead right?” Junhyeon slowly approaches his figure placing two fingers over his neck to check if he still had his pulse, he jumps but soon breathes a sigh of relief as he feels his pulse.
“Ah! Oh thank God.”
“Ugh whatever just bring to him the clinic.” Hao quickly goes to carry his left arm and you do the same on his other one.
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You sit beside taerae’s peaceful sleeping state, patiently waiting for him to wake up, around 30 minutes has passed and he has yet to wake up.
Hao left early since he still had other senior duties to attend to while junhyeon left out of guilt, refusing to face taerae after giving him a concussion from a headbutt he didn’t mean to cause. He loved taerae too much to face him after what happened today.
You waited by taerae’s side even taking a nap as you waited for him to wake up.
You sat by the bed, with the letter in your hand. You opened it and reread each and every word once again as you look at taerae at the same time. You let out a huge sigh. You felt hesitant once again in confessing to taerae. Perhaps being by his side was enough, right?
But the feelings would always be there and you wouldn’t want to fight it. You sit and stare at his features for awhile, finding yourself enamored by his looks.
“I don’t think you’ll ever forgive me taerae..”
“for what?” you jolted from your seat the moment you hear that deep voice. taerae slowly tries to sit himself up and he squints at you as he rubs his eyes.
“oh my god you’re finally awake.”
“What happened I was at the classroom and I just blacked out, how did you find me..” You panic a little, trying to scramble through your brain to think of a random excuse, surely you weren’t going to tell him you were there to drop a letter where you basically profess your feelings.
“Uh i just stopped by the classroom, I thought I left something in the room.”
“oh okay..did you see anyone else there? like a person with a black hoodie? I think someone hit me in the head.”
Taerae tries to recall the situation, his memory still a little foggy over what happened. He couldn’t quite remember how the person looked as everything just happened so quickly.
“Wait..what if it was the same person who sent me that drawing from before? How would they even know that I was coming back? Because the moment I entered the room, I felt this eerie atmosphere, like someone was waiting for me?” You mentally curse at yourself for pushing through this plan, how the hell were you going to tell him the truth?
“I feel like I have this sort of secret anti? I don’t know I’m kinda scared to be alone now.”
“If you don’t mind, can you walk with me home today? It’s embarrassing but i feel kinda scared to walk hom alone.” You eyes widened in shock but you quickly agree anyways. You just got an offer to spend some extra time with your crush. However a huge part of you felt guilty about what happened.
“I’m sorry I can’t I have to go somewhere. Uh I think i actually need to go right now.” You stood up and taerae looks at you softly, almost like his eyes were pleading for you to not go away.
“Okay I’ll just call your roommate to get you since I really can’t, it’s park hanbin right?”
“yeah, do you have his number? I think I left my belongings at the room I don’t have my phone right now.”
“Ah yes i do! Let me dial him.” You scroll through your contacts searching for his name, quickly dialing him.
“Hey y/n, what’s up!” Hanbin responds almost immediately, greeting you in a cheery tone.
“Hey, so taerae’s at the clinic right now, he got a concussion and sprained his ankle and he kinda can’t get to his dorm alone right now so can you come pick him up right now?”
“Alright I see..”
“Sorry it’s kinda hard to explain right now but taerae’s gonna fill you in on the details later.”
“It’s okay i know what happened, junhyeon told me..”
“Ah r-really, okay anyways just come and get him right now.” You quickly end the call hoping he doesn’t go on and run his mouth on what happened.
“just stay here and wait for hanbin I think I’ll have to go now.”
“Take care! see you in the cafe and next week!” Taerae flashes you his warm smile as he waves at you.
“You too taerae.” You smile back and take your leave..
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ATTEMPT HONESTLY CAN’T EVEN KEEP UP ANYMORE : FIGURING IT OUT AGAIN PART SOMETHING OR MAYBE NOT
You and your friends, ricky, junhyeon, zhanghao and sung hanbin and gunwook gathered in the same cafe once again.
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“So what’s your new plan?”
“Guys I really don’t know anymore.” You let your head hit the table, feeling so defeated at the moment after thinking about your two failed confession attempts.
“Guys what’s a foolproof way of me confessing where I don’t need to do it on the spot, or one that doesn’t have a chance of leaving him terrified him in any way.”
“Yeah he’s been taerae-fied too many times.” Junhyeon jokes. You roll your eyes at his poor attempt of making a taerae pun.
“The plans have been so terrible.” You sigh.
“Taeraeble you could say..” Ricky softly says while looking down as junhyeon giggled, trying to surpress his laugh.
“Ok I swear if you guys say another one.” You glare at the two.
“Hmm perhaps maybe.” Gunwook leads. After junhyeon blabbered to him about what happened he was also then informed of the fact that you had feelings for taerae too.
“actually never mind I don’t know I thought i was thinking for a moment but it blew away sorry.”
“Junhyeon why did you invite gunwook over too, he’s no help either.” Gunwook turns to you and fakes a loud gasp and you roll your eyes over his dramatic act.
“By the way um sorry to say this late but, taerae just quit his job here yesterday. He also said he’s transferring outside of the school.” Sung hanbin mentions.
“Yeah and he also said he’s transferring next semester, he’s actually moving out next friday.” Sung hanbin adds. Everyone else is shocked over the sudden news. Taerae leaving so suddenly was never in anyone’s bingo cards.
“No! I love taerae too much! Why am I only knowing now that my man is leaving.” Junhyeon dramatically fake cries.
“Oh shit. i just realized.”
“What?”Hao turns to you.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to see taerae much anymore, it’s our last class next week and we don’t talk much outside.”You recalled that the last day of your class with taerae was already next week because after that it would be finals then everything’s done. You weren’t sure if you were going to still be able to talk to taerae knowing how you usually only talked during class.
Maybe a part of you wished for those accidents to happen because deep inside, you were afraid about letting taerae find out about your feelings, afraid that he wouldn’t like you back and you’d lose the friendship you’ve built for a year.
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The last monday. the last class you were going to share with taerae ever.
“Hey y/n i want to tell you something.” You look in his direction. You were already had an idea on what he was going to say.
“I’m moving out next week and I quit my part time job at hanbin's cafe. Though maybe you’ve noticed and Hanbin might’ve already told you but yeah I just wanted to tell you.”
“Oh I guess we won’t be seeing each other much anymore..” You say and his eyes widened. He waves his hands and sends you a reassuring look.
“oh we won’t be seeing each other much anymore but I promise I’ll try to keep up with you! um my roommates wanted to throw a farewell party, honestly a little dramatic haha but I wanted to invite you and you friends over. It’s going to be a small one don’t worry.”
“Sure! I’d love to come, I’ll tell my friends too.”
“The last hurrah, you know. Also just so you know,, I genuinely enjoyed getting to know you this year, you were the best person I’ve met this year. I was so happy to have known you this year and I would have totally flunked this class because I might’ve have just ended up sleeping through every lecture haha.”
“Anyways I’ll see you at the party, yeah?” He points at you with that signature smile plastered on his face once again.
“Absolutely.” You smile back.
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“I can’t do this anymore! I’ve tried everything like EVERYTHING yet somehow everytime I can’t seem to tell him how I feel.” You cried as you took another shot of soju. Initially, you were alone at the convenience store wanting to buy alone a beer or two to let loose but here you were with almost two empty soju bottles.
“why didn’t a single thing go right..” you bury your face in your hands.
a thought pops into your head and liquid courage pushed you to now film a voicemail on your phone to taerae. now, you were quite wasted and couldn’t see shit but you still pushed yourself.
you drunkenly record yourself professing your love to him, addressing him as you. you laugh to yourself as you finished recording and finally hit the send button.
“maybe this can work ahehe.”
“Y/n?” You hear a young man call out your name. You look up and your vision was too blurry to make out the owner of the voice. it was very familiar and clear to you but you just couldn’t seem to lay a finger on who it could be.
“You!” You stood up from your seat, pointing at the unknown man with your eyes closed. He takes a step back at your sudden move, confused on what to do.
You try to open you eyes, trying to take a look but soon your vision darkens and you pass out. the night going on as a blur.
_________________________________
your eyes flitter open and you feel your head ringing, a painful reminder of what happened last night. you wake up, confused as you look around, the surroundings being all too new.
since when did i have white sheets and a clean ass bedroom?
you slap yourself, trying to figure if it was a dream or not. but it wasn’t.
soon you hear a knock on the door on the far left and taerae enters, carrying a glass of tea and painkillers on a tray.
“oh you’re awake, anyways here take these for your hangover. finish the cup of tea and if your headache feels really unbearable, take a tylenol. anyways how are you feeling?” he hands the tray to you and he sits down by you.
“Honestly woke up with a terrible headache. Is this your place?I’m so sorry..” You ask.
“Yes but don’t worry about it, I saw you pass out last night and I didn’t want to leave you there.” he says and sends a reassuring smile your way. you felt your heart skip a beat for a second.
“anyways stay as long as you need! take care of yourself and rest. if you need water or anything, just call me! okay?” he says as he proceeds to leave the room.
you feel your phone vibrate next to you and you are shocked upon what you see when you receive a notification from park hanbin.
phanbin: let’s talk about this at the dorm party ;)
well, shit.
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. Taerae invited the whole friend group (since he was friends with all of you too anyways) and the other dorm mates to come over. He requested it to not be so grand since he wanted it to be a simple farewell.
It was probably the last day you were ever going to see him and it kinda killed you inside knowing not a single attempt of your confessions worked and the words you’ve been trying to relay are going to be left unspoken. Other than that, you had also discovered that you had sent a voicemail to park hanbin, perhaps leading him on. You also couldn’t bear to see taerae after your past encounter. This day, you were definitely more than nervous to come.
You, ricky, sung hanbin and zhanghao decided to go the dorm together. When you arrive, you finally meet the other dormmates taerae had always talked about in his stories.
“Hi! I’m woongki, Nice to meet you. Come in.” The brown haired boy cheerfully greeted the four of you as soon as you guys came in as he lead you guys to sit on the couch. Another taller, black-haired boy goes next to him and introduces himself.
“Hey I’m seowon! Another roommate and woongki’s roommate.”
“I see, it makes so much sense that you’re roommates, you both are very smiley haha.” you say, seeing how cheery and friendly the two are in welcoming the both of you.
In the mean time, you got to chat with woongki and seowon. Park hanbin and taerae were still getting food and drinks.
From talking to them, you were also able to catch some stories and new facts about taerae. To your surprise, they reveal how he actually goes around the dorm wearing horrendous clothing pieces, wearing the same pair of red pants almost every day like it was the only pair of pants he owned. You also then learn about how taerae used to sing a lot in church growing up. His guitar was his pride and often, he would play and sing for them if ever anyone wanted him to. He could just sing on the spot if you asked him to.
The more you heard about him, the more endearing he was to you. It certainly didn’t help with making your feelings go away or having to deal with not seeing him anymore.
“Sorry we took long but we’re here!” Park hanbin and taerae finally arrived, with all their hands full with bags filled with snacks, chicken and beer.
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For the night, you guys plan to play a few games then wrap up the night with a movie marathon afterwards.
The first game you guys decided to play was uno. It was fun, a lot of oohs and a lot of cheating with some players hiding specific cards. (yeah it was on junhyeon and ricky). Taerae on the other hand, often when he lost he’d go look over your cards and coach you, and despite taerae being the first one to lose almost all the time, he managed to make you win every time.
It was followed by a game of charades. It was even more chaotic than playing uno.
Then lastly, truth or dare.
The dares were pretty mild like for example, taking their shirt off for the whole game, having to eating a tablespoon of sugar or just doing a specific dance.
And for some reason, nobody chose truth because they were just pretty lame questions like did you ever fail a test? Or did you ever have your first kiss blablabla. the dares were more entertaining.
“Oooh y/n’s the chosen one!” Everyone cheered.
“So, what’s your choice, is it a truth or a dare?”
“I’ll choose truth.”
“Alright, let me think do you like anyone in the room?” Hanbin smirks, he was definitely planning on something.
“Of course I like everyone in the room, what are you implying.” You laugh with a hint of nervousness, trying to play off the question.
“No I mean, do you like like anyone, romantically?” He states, now you were sure park hanbin might have caught on and he defended knows.
“Be honest..”
You stop and take a small gulp as everyone’s eyes were all glued onto you in anticipation.
“Yeah..” you softly say and oohs were throwed. Your friends laugh and try to act all shocked as if they didn’t know you did and who it was.
“Woah really.” Park hanbin brings one of his hands to a mouth as he nods his head, seemingly not so shocked either.
“Who?”
“Come on it’s over it’s supposed to be one question.”
“We need to know!”
“Hanbin stop..they’re obviously not comfortable sharing especially in this setting so just stop.” Taerae sternly says making the whole room go silent.
“Well moving on then! Why don’t we start the movie marathon, yeah?” Everyone stands up from the ground and proceeds to lay on the couch. And chairs laying around.
You look in taerae’s direction and he gives you a small smile.
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Buzz. Your phone rang.
You look over and recieve a text from park hanbin, asking you to meet up at his bedroom to discuss something. He looks at you and directs to go up with his eyes.
You roll your eyes but you get up anyways as you go upstairs, hanbin following along.
Taerae notices the two of you sneaking upstairs. He was curious about what you two were up to.
“Aw man there’s no more popcorn.” Junhyeon complains, his voice snapping taerae from his thoughts.
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“Okay what now?”
“i know about it.”
“About how you feel.”
“About what?” You furrow one of your eyebrows as hanbin takes a pause, his lips pursed as he looks at the ground.
“I know you like me.” You pause there for a moment, your brain trying to function as for this time you had misled the wrong boy into thinking that you like him.
“Oh uh about it..”
“It’s fine you don’t have to deny it but y/n I’m sorry I don’t like you in that way though but you know maybe I could give you a chance and get to know you more first?” He shyly takes a step closer to you, moving his face closer to yours.
“Uh Hanbin.” You freeze on the spot, not knowing what to do or what to say.
“It’s not- like I don-“
“It’s okay you don’t have to deny it, look I acknowledge your feelin-“ He moves his face closer to yours to look into your eyes.
All of a sudden the door next to the two of you creaks open, revealing taerae standing there with his mouth wide open.
“Sorry to interrupt you guys but uh I just wanted to say I’m going to sleep now since I’m leaving early tomorrow.” Taerae awkwardly smiles and takes his leaves. You panic, assuming he probably overheard most of the conversation which might have misled him to thinking you actually had a crush on park hanbin.
You mentally curse at yourself as you watch taerae turn his back and turn away.
“Now going back..”
You quickly shut the door, take a deep breath and take a hold of hanbin’s shoulders. Well you hd to clear it up, it’s now or never.
“I don’t like you. I don’t have any feelings for you. I am not interested at you.” You look up at him and gave him a straight face. He tilts his head, knitting his eyebrows in confusion.
“Huh?Then why did you send me that voicemail?”
“Man this is so embarrassing.”You look at the ground in shame, not wanting to open the conversation over the embarrassing voicemail.
“I accidentally sent it to you..it was meant for someone else.” You facepalm.
“I was drunk and I wasn’t thinking clearly! It was really stupid of me. I just sent it to you thinking it was..someone else plus I was drunk! I my vision was all blurry too i’m sorry.” You continued, Hanbin lets out an oh as he scratches his head, embarrassed and confused.
“Wait then who was it for?”
“About that..”
“Tell me who? Who is it?” He whines as he playfully pokes your arm, curious as to who the lucky boy may be. You certainly didn’t want to tell the boy knowing he was taerae’s best friend and he might blabber about it to him.
“Secret.”
“Awwww come on….wait..Ha! Nevermind don’t tell me I know.” Hanbin lets out a light laugh, taking a step closer to you.
“Your crush on taerae is so painfully obvious.”he whispered. You freeze on the spot. He takes a step back and continues giggling to himself.
“I mean I could feel it before but I pushed it off because I thought you liked me..but it all makes more sense now. you, see taerae at the cafe everyday, you light up when he talks to you, you always stare at him, can you also not make that obvious? And lastly I can easily sense that the way you act around him is very different from everyone else.”
“Like you are in love with him.” He crosses his arms and he knew he was right.
“Pfft no.”
“Oh yeah you are.”
“But he’s moving away anyways so it’s not that big of a deal.”
“Aw sorry about that..”
“And from what happened earlier..he probably thinks I like you.”
“I’m so sorry about that, you know what, I’ll clear it up to him-“
“No you don’t have to, he’s leaving and I don’t want to cause anything. and it’s my fault really! I was the one who carelessly sent that voicemail, I’m sorry for leading you on too. So anyways, I think I might just go leave now.” You flash hanbin a smile to reassure him before leaving. Hanbin grabs your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.
“I’m also sorry about earlier too by the way, y/n. Honestly-“
“Hanbin I’m sorry for cutting you off again but honestly I think I need to go now. I just don’t want taerae to know, and I’m not sure if we’ll keep up when he leaves so I iust hope we stay as friends, so we don’t leave at an awkward note. Anyways thank you and sorry hanbin but I gotta go now.” He loosens his grip on your wrist and pats your shoulder.
“Take care.”
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Here you are, in the comfort of hanbin’s care sipping on a glass of iced coffee, staring out the window. Last night, you left the party early and you weren’t able to bid taerae a proper goodbye in person.
you open your phone, and stare at you text messages with taerae, contemplating on whether you wanted to write him a long goodbye message or to simply tell him good luck and take care.
“for how long are you going to stare at your phone.” hanbin gets you from your out-of-zone state.
“hanbin, I don’t know how to say goodbye. honestly I feel miserable. I hate that he’s leaving and I wasn’t even able to tell him how I feel.” you bury your face into yoir hands. hanbin takes the seat next to you and rubs your back. the boy you loved was leaving and he never even got the chance to know how you truly felt.
as if the heavens heard your cries, you felt your phone vibrate and you received a notification of a text message from park hanbin.
phanbin: y/n go run to taerae right now. he’s leaving soon but hey, you deserve to be able to tell him how you feel properly and now may be the perfect time. I also cleared up everything that happened last night lol so dw. anyways do this text me back and go run to him NOWWW!!!!!! he’s still in front of our dorm <3
You look at hanbun and he gives you a reassuring nod as an approval.
“Go now!!!” he yells good luck to you as you proceed to rush out of the cafe, running towards the direction of his dorm. You ran and ran, your feet moving at a full speed like you were at a marathon. a rush of adrenaline filled you and this time, you were motivated than ever to tell him how you truly feel.
you were just one block away from the dorm and soon, you spot a car parked in front of the dorm with a handful of boxes outside. you proceed to go there but you couldn’t see taerae around. you’re not too late, his boxes are here so he’s somewhere.
you take a deep breath first, resting your hands on your knees first from all the running. you forgot that you weren’t an athlete and your lack of exercise was getting right back at you.
you receive another text mess from park hanbin.
park hanbin:I I’m sorry i know you’re probably sprinting right now but he’s at the convenience store so you might have to do a little more running. his dumbass forgot to buy a few things. anyways good luck y/n! you got this.” he sends you a thumbs up emoji.
you run and run again and you curse under your breath, realizing how far the convenience store is. your legs were slowly getting wobbly and you onew your lack of physical activity was bound to get you someday but you hoped it wouldn’t be right now.
you just stop running and start walking instead. as you near the store, you spot the brown-haired young man outside, sitting on a table outside with his back facing you.
you take a deep breath before tapping his shoulder. he turns around and you thank the heavens that there was no plot twist of this being a non-taerae or else you were going to absolutely throw a fit.
“hey taerae! I needed to tell you something before you go and I wanted to give you a proper goodbye in person since I wasn’t able to last night.” you say and the boy stands up, flashing you a grin as he had gimbap in his mouth. he raises his hand and you were a little confused as to what he meant by that.
“should I say what I need to say or wait for you to finish?” he swallows his food down before speaking up.
“ok sorry you can go on now.” he lightly chuckles and you laugh a little.
you take a huge gulp, taking a look at the ground before looking straight at him right in the eye. he eagerly listens, giving you a reassuring look. it’s finally happening.
“taerae I have been dying to tell you this for a long time now honestly and although I don’t think now is the perfect time, I just wanted to get this off my chest before you go cause I know I would regret it if I didn’t tell you sooner.” you take a pause and he gives you another nod, a way of telling you he was still listening.
so here it goes.
“I li-“
you were soon cut off by the sound of the door opening as a man calls out to taerae“taerae hyung! Did you kn- y/n?” you look behind you and you spot junhyeon, holding a full meal of burgers and fries and a cup of come on a tray in his hands.
“junhyeon what the hell are you doing here?”
“I was helping taerae moving out then he went here to buy things then we just decided to eat here.” he says, standing there, a little confused. he quickly scans the situation between you and then it finally hit him.
“ah I believe I interrupted something here, sorry I will just eat inside.”
the boy quickly rushes back inside.
you turn to taerae again. “anyways, sorry for the little commotion there. anyways as I was saying, taerae-junhyeon what the actual fuck sit somewhere else.” junhyeon sat in front of the window directly facing the both of you. you motion to the boy to move the other way and he rolls his eyes before taking a seat somewhere else.
“oh god I hope it’s the last of him. I swear if anything goes wrong again-“
all of the sudden, the rain decides to twist the odds and rain on your parade. you grab taerae’s hand, about to take him inside but he firmly holds onto your hand, telling you to stay.
“taerae it’s raining, you’ll get sick, we have to get in i’ll just tell you inside.”
“no tell me right here, right now. you have been wanting to tell me for a long time and I know you want to say it already.” you felt a hint of seriousness in his tone.
“are you serious?well fine It’s so weird to say it right now but okay..taerae, i..” He nods, the words starting to get hesitant to leave your mouth. you take a deep breath and you finally mustered up the courage.
“taerae I like you. no, actually I’m in love with you. It’s embarrassing but It’s true and I can’t fight it anymore. I loved getting to know you and from the moment i first laid my eyes on you and heard your sweet voice back in that open mic, I fell in love. I was so lucky to be able to get to know you more too. you are the sweetest, kindest and most wonderful person I’ve ever met. It’s okay if you don’t like me back. I just want to say that I love and appreciate every moment I got to spend with you in the past year..it was so lovely to have known you taerae.” unexpectedly he lets out a light laugh, his big signature smile painted on his face. he gently takes both of your hands in his.
“I love you too, y/n. in fact, I’ve always known.” you felt like your ears betrayed you at the last part. what does he mean he always knew?
“back at the clinic, I saw the letter next to you while you slept. it had the words ‘to taerae’ written on it so I just opened it. I read each and every word you wrote and took it to heart. I was so happy to know you felt the same..but when you woke up, you hid the letter and I iust felt that you were still not ready to tell me so I didn’t open a convo about it. hanbin told me about everything and cleared everything up, actually both hanbins did, sung and park haha.” you both laugh.
“well..what now? you’re leaving now so what will be then? we’ll barely see each other now that we’re not in the same uni.”
“actually about that, I’m still in the same uni, I’m only moving dorms..”
“what?” the whole dramatic mood you had turned upside down. you playfully smack taerae’s arm, bursting into tears. he didn’t expect to see you cry but he just laughs and brings you into a hug.
“I forgot to specify to you guys that I was not transferring schools and only dorms and that just made me realize why everyone was dramatic with everything. please don’t cry..”
“that’s really mean taerae, I was actually so upset that you were leaving so I was miserable for nothing.” your bury your face into his chest, pulling him tighter and taerae began to laugh.
he slowly lets go and cups your face, breaking into a smile and you feel the whole world brighten as you look into his eyes again. he stares at your lips and your faces inch closer together.
“may I?” he asks and you nod your head before he gently brings your face closer to his with his finger and his arms snake around your waist. you felt the whole world stop as you melt into his touch. your lips seemingly shaped for one another.
slowly, he pulls away and breaks into a huge smile.
“finally! I’ve been waiting for this one.” you hear junhyeon’s screams from inside the store and you simply roll your eyes back at him, you and taerae laughing over his reaction.
you turn to look back at taerae.
“I really love you and I’m glad you’re finally mine.” you giggle as you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing his face close enough for you noses to touch.
and finally, the odds were in your favor.
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a/n and you reached the end! hope you enjoyed reading it. this has been sitting in my drafts for a month, but missing taerae and the new kcon behind drove me to finish this story! I also have a love-hate relationship with this which is why it took pretty long to write HAIAHSHSB sorry for some mistakes in the capatalization of names and grammar that I may have overlooked. But anyways feel free to leave feedback! I would love to hear your honest thoughts on this :>>>
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nicromancytarot · 5 months
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Hello .^◡^. i am the 5th one✋ i'm here to give feedback for the game " Bloodied Bandaid " the thing is i don't remember half of my childhood and till the age of 12 to 13 that would be a bit too much to say but apart from moving houses and transferring schools i dont remember much😕 don't know how common that is aside from that my brain storage is full of absolute shit which i don't need at all💩 i don't even remember what i ate 2 days ago 🥲 so all this things i'm saying is bcoz when you mentioned about a masculine being brought up i couldn't remember anything specific it's not like that i didn't had any masculine figure in my life to disappoint me i had plenty. all of these men definitely didn't made a good impact on my childhood for whatever they did. but about not being accepted i remember that my parents used to dressed me up as a boy coz they were expecting me to be a boy when i was born i'm a girl btw and in our culture girls and boys have distinct clothing styles i always used to have boyish haircuts and then suddenly they wanted me to dress like a girl,be feminine coz i was growing up and i needed to behave like a girl😑 i was very uncomfortable by this sudden change. now they don't even let me cut my hair like let me live people😮‍💨 but i still do what i want to do if you die right now nothing of these unnecessary things will matter¯\(°_°)/¯. about being shut off to the idea of meeting people bro let me tell you i don't leave my house unless my family members drags me outside with them once a few months. i don't like human interactions 😭 my past experiences gave me social anxiety🥹 yes i have realized that i need to let go all my resentment coz it was only making my mental and emotional health worse. just like how you said it's not like i can do this in one day or night. i do need to improve my viewpoint sometimes i overthink a situation so much that i forget what was the actual problem even. coz i like to analysis everything and get caught up in tiny details my brain has to make sense of everything by connecting things and using whatever formulas it seems makes sense which at the end doesn't make sense at all (¯―¯٥) and the other things also resonated😄  thank you so much for this reading also for the advice☺ once i fix my issues i too think that it will make me more confident in myself✧ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ✧ as a natural procrastinator let me see when can i work on myself and make use of your words it's never too late to start now tho. thank you for your precious time and effort for doing these readings💖 love you bye lovely ٩(ˊᗜˋ)و♥
Hello number 5! I appreciate such detailed feedback, I am sorry that you don’t remember much of your childhood, I also have a terrible memory so I feel you. The masculine energy was certainly a strange one as it felt like it connected to you in a very disconnected way, I actually realised at the end that it could’ve been you emitting this energy, so that’s why I added in the acceptance part. I’m sorry that you went through that as a child however, it must’ve been very confusing and frustrating to have experienced at such a young age, and I hope that if you feel as though it affected you negatively, that you heal from it and find ways to part with your trauma.
Completely understand the next part, the outside is scary man, so I’m with you on the being afraid to leave. I’m glad that your family manage to drag you outside of the house every now and then, even if it is against your will, at least you get outside and within nature, it’s a great place to heal!
I absolutely believe that you can heal and grow over your past, it may appear to be hard at first, but once you make that first leap, the rest will be a walk in the park, you’ve got this, best of luck!
Side note: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ - I really like this thing
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sorry-moots · 8 months
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Hi! Sorry about the flood of notifs 😅 found your fic in my tags and gulped the entire 10 chapters in one go! I know you didn't want to add filler chapters but yk they're not filler if something interesting happens in them 👀 And I loved the drama and tension you created between the characters, I'd love to see more scenes when reader starts working with Scara in his office, and when they spend their days on the ship to Sumeru, etc. Bonding scenes like the one when they drank tea, when he made the soldiers shut up, WHEN THERE WAS ONLY ONE HORSE (THAT ONE WAS CHEF'S KISS) and also when he defended her from Dottore....😭😭 Wanna see more of that bonding over both of them being mistreated by him. I just find it so heart wrenching that both Scara and reader are mistreated by Dottore and Scara trying to protect reader from him knowing that he himself is at his mercy 😭😭😭 pure angst 😭😭
Also I loved that in this fic Scara isn't that cruel, and that the only time he was actually going to kill a human was when he was subjected to Dottore's experiments. And I loved that it was a fem reader fic (they are super hard to find this way) and that the traveler was Lumine (even harder to find!) Loved this fic, I'd be super happy to read more, but no pressure ofc. Do you have other fics? I couldn't find them since you dont have a masterlist.
many things to address here!
1) thank you thank you thank you for your praise! this is my first time writing something other than an essay and im really glad you and a few others like it 🥰🥰
2) i’ll see if i can come up with some extra blurbs, maybe you could send me a link to that DLT thing you mentioned? that would make a good jumping off point and give me an idea of what i should write, it would be cool to go back and add some .5 chapters that make the story more immersive! side note, the reader and scaramouche will ALWAYS have the same dynamic. do with that knowledge what you will.
3) IM SO GLAD YOU APPRECIATED THERE’S ONLY ONE HORSE 🐎 terribly unappreciated when i first posted it
4) i feel like scara knows if he kills every person that slightly inconveniences him he’ll end up with an even worse inconvenience. to me he’s more of a “never send a boy to do a man’s work” type person, if you cant do it just try not to get in his way 🥲
5) i already have the next few chapters planned out, i just have to turn them from brackets and bullets to Full Sentences 🙃 this usually occurs, not on a schedule, but when i am procrastinating my academic responsibilities
6) as i mentioned this is my first fic but i have a couple half-baked ideas, they’re for rubedo/subject 2/fakebedo and kenma from haikyuu
lmk if you have any other questions, comments, concerns i love talking about my creative spawn
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heeracha · 2 years
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https://heeracha.tumblr.com/post/686138384311304192
I FEEL THIS ON SUCH A DEEP LEVEL LIKE KSHSGEHU- Sorry 😔 but my mom does all those things too AND ON A DAILY BASIS. But then when I opened up to her about how all the things she says to me actually affected me more negatively instead of pushing me to be better, she actually stopped saying them. And I am SO thankful for having her as my mom and I always think how I couldn't have had a better mom. Unfortunately no one's perfect, right? Lately I've been feeling depressed. As if I'm not worth anything and I'm useless. I don't find the things I usually find fun, fun. I started to forget to eat and drink and take care of my hygiene. Of course it also affected my school life. I'd start procrastinating more than ever to the point where my adviser would beg me in my messages because she didn't want me to lose my rank. When mom found out she was really angry at first but then she started saying that she doesn't expect anything from me anymore. A few days later after that I told her why I was doing so badly and that I was confused about what I was feeling. She comforted me but then came back a few days later to tell me I wouldn't amount to anything and that I ruined my own life and that I shouldn't blame her when I become poorer and that I shouldn't expect that I'd get accepted into my dream school anymore. It's like she got worse but I understand her. She's working her motherly ass to provide for not only me but the whole family. She works to pay for the food AND the bills and has a terrible husband (who is working btw but lives as if he owns the house and doesn't pay for anything) in exchange for her hard work. I get why she would be angry but I don't know why I can't just pull myself together. I just want to rest in peace. And I totally get you.
Sorry for the ramble. i just wanted to get this off my chest since I don't have anyone to talk to.
I offer you 3 pout Heeseungs for my apology!
3 is my lucky number ( ◜‿◝ )♡
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:( im sorry honey,, i hope everything will be okay for you soon. and i believe, you're still gonna be able to get into your dream school because i know you can do this and will ace it if there's an entrance exam and pass all the requirements. dont pressure yourself too much just go along with the flow, okay? just a little bit more patience okay? we'll get through this !! i'll be with you, supporting you 100% !! maybe u just really need a well deserve break/rest,, unwind for a bit !! dont stress yourself out too much. i love you !! :( <3
and stop it !!! dont say sorry, dont be silly !! para kang others 😭 just know that you can always rant here, oki? i may not reply right away but i will !! thats a promise <3 mwa thanks for the three heeseung tho lmAOOO mwa
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bluebrine · 2 years
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i have notifs on for when you post. and on one hand my phone wont shut up but i cant be mad i get to the post and im like. wow that IS really good. its like constantly walking in and out of a building but the person that called u back in actually has something worth looking at for the 56th time
omgggg... I'm so sorry lol 😭😭😭
I just can't use this site correctly... I search/ scroll and add all the good stuff to my drafts, sorted + tagged into a presentable order....... AND THEN, instead of just, idk, using the in-built queue system I fucking PUNCH that post button 56 times in 5 minutes. It's terrible, once again, I apologize. 😔 But every time I try to use the queue I procrastinate on the order of things and my drafts start numbering in the 10,000's..... I don't post anything for weeks....... it's a mess.............
I honestly had no idea someone even had notifs on for my mish-mash mess of a blog lmao, those alerts have to be so bothersome. RIP.
But! I'm glad you think the stuff is worth the notification slog! I just follow so many good artists/ creators/ photographers/ etc. that I can't help but want to sort their works into My Own Personal Scrapbook (blog). This site may be bad in many ways BUT I do adore the functionality of its tags! ☀️
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