#sorry this was a rant but. ive been getting a few messages and this is just one long post

[nubsdolls]

caution!,, this is just a wip, this is also my first time writing on here so please be gentle and lmk what i can improve on!! no name (as of yet) for this.. no smut in this fic, maybe just a teaser? maybe ill post who knows.. enjoy!

how did you end up in this position? seated on your bestfriends lap? agressive and practically primal against eachother, almost starved of touch.

you had only been bit a few months back, thus, leading to your entry of the spider society. upon entry, you were introduced to hobie. ever since then, you've been attached at the hip.

he would occasionally swing by your universe, slip through your window, invite you to his shows, hang out, all the usual bestfriend things. and yeah, maybe sometimes you guys got a little flirty or touchy but it was all playful, it never went beyond that.

however, you always had this weird, feeling about him, weird like how sometimes his piercings glistened so perfectly, how when the lights hit his eyes at the right angle, he glowed like an angel.

he might as well had been an angel sent just for you, spikes and studs intruded his outfits, chains and buttons on his vests, his hair sorted into wicks, it all seemed to compliment his personality so well, like the perfect contrast between sweet and rebellious, an anarchist. it never mattered what people whispered and gossiped about, in your eyes, he was an angel.

ding! one new notification.

you turned over, reaching for your phone on your nightstand and unlocking it, one new message from hobie.

h: unlock the window dove

you rolled your eyes playfully, stretching and getting up to unlock the window, opening it. the cool breeze entering your apartment, but no hobie.

you felt a tap on your shoulder as you jump back, turning only to face a snickering hobie, mask being hooked up on his nose, he slipped inside as you playfully punched him in the shoulder.craning your neck up to look at him.

"dickhead." you scoffed jokingly before walking back over to your bed. "oh cmon, was only a lil scare." taking off his mask and throwing it somewhere across your dorm, taking his boots and vest off before hopping next to you in bed.

he started to rant about his day, leaned back on your bed and relaxed, you were half listening, half admiring him, his shirt half lifted, his happy trail and v-line prominent, his belly piercing perfectly gleaming in the light. not being able to help as your mind wanders, biting your tongue and picking at your lip, teeth grinding against the inside of your mouth, all the thoughts your having basically driving you crazy, you shift and switch positions, trying to just focus on his day, but you can't.

the thoughts are almost louder than his voice, almost.

"dove? you 'ere wit' me?"

again,, so sorry if this was kinda goofy ive nvr posted on here before so im still working everything outt!

[dexiiexox]

Bestfriend headcanons for Nick Sturniolo💜

a/n; Hihi! First time writing for Nick :))👍 might be off, but these are just what I imagine so enjoyyy :> and I know for a FACT that there are so many words Ive spelled wrong in this one, but Im too lazy to proof read it :)

Nick Sturniolo x reader (platonic)

warnings: none?

summary: headcanons of what I imagine being bestfriends with Nick Sturniolo would be like!

SORRY FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES❕

————————————————————————

I firmly belive that Nick would never jugde you if you’re close friends, he might not always agree on certain topics, but he would never jugde you

And that is also why you guys have such a close bond, you guys are able to tell eachother everything, wether it’s realationships, concerns, drama, something that’s recently been going on, anything, doesnt matter, you guys tell eachother

I just know he would take your concerns very seriously, he would always be there and listen to you rant to him about anything and nothing

And he would have no problem telling people off if they were out of line.

It had been a pretty stressful week and on top of that some of your "friends" had been acting so wierd. You guys hadnt hung out in a while, and you guys had decided to meet up since you had some openings in your schedual. But when you guys had hung out they had just been somewhat rude to you the whole time and made snarky comments. About the way you spoke or what you said.

You brushed it off in the start, but it just carried on and it honestly hurt. You just decided to stay quiet for the rest of the evening and left after you guys had grabbed some food.

You had just gotten home to your apartment, when you got a notification from your phone. It was a Snapchat notification, from a group.

You had been added in a groupchat with those same "friends" you had hung out with. There was one long message from them telling you they thought you had been acting wierd the whole evening. They stated that they thought it was rude that you werent talking much and left so quietly. They meant that you had changed.

You didnt really understand why they said that, where was all of this coming from? You hd been nothing but nice, despoter their comments and behaviour. You just sighed deeply and didnt bother to respond. All you wanted to do was shower and done off on the couch for the night.

You we’re able to take a shower before the doorbell rang. Getting dressed fairly quick, you went and opened the door. You we’re met with concerned Nick, now feiles written in his face.

I can definetly imagine Nick calling you or FaceTiming you whenever he needs to rant about shit that just annoys him

I was sat at my desk, browsing through random stuff on my laptop.I was in my own little bubble, listening to some slow songs and just mindlessly scrolling. That was until a loud ring startled me and brought me out of my daze.

It was a FaceTime call from Nick and I could see his face on screen. I pauses the music and answered the call.

"Hey-" I was cut short.

"Holy fuck!" Nick was basically screaming through the phone.

I was taken a back by his loud voice.

"Whats up?" I asked concerned seeing how bothered he sounded.

"Chris has been a fucking idiot all night." he let out a huff as he layed down on his bed. I just laughed a little.

"What’s he done now?" I gave Nick a questioning look.

"Oh boy if you knew, kids spilled my whole fucking Snapple in the car" I could clearly hear the annoyance in Nicks voice. I just giggled a little imagining how that scene wouldve looked like.

"And he’s jumping around like a damn monkey! He jumped back ONTO me!" He raider his voice again. I burst out laughing at that point and Nick ended up letting out a few giggles as well.

"Hellooo? Isnt that crazy?" He asked still giggling lightly.

"Sounds like Chris to me" I smiled back.

From there the conversation just went on, Nick rambled some more about Chris' shananigans in the car before we started talking about everything else that came to mind.

I also imagine that Nick would need help figuring out what to wear, and sometimes you would too

Like before going out, you guys just sit on the bed while the other one tries on different outfits and get the others opinion on it

(UFHSKDNDN i just need to use this opertunity to say that Nick is SO FUCKING PRETTY!! He looks so gorgeous I dont even know where to start)

Nick had invited me to go out for dinner with him, Chris, Matt and a few of their other friends.

And as usual I had stopped by their apartment so me and Nick could help eachother find the right outfit for the night. I had brought with me a few different outfits and clothes I was thinking about wearing, but I still couldnt really figure it out.

I had chatted with the three of them in the kitchen for a while before me and Nick made out way to his bedroom to get ready.

We had spendt some time trying to find the right outfit for Nick, and we finally found it. We ended up with him wearing his red and black knitted sweater, black parachute pants, his black chunky shoes and a pair of black glasses as an accesorie.

We spendt a good while figuring out what I would wear, all the outfits I tried either seemed somewhat off or like something was missing.

"No, it looks kind of odd?"

"Yeah, I dont know about this one"

"Absolutely not"

I tried on dresses, skrits, tops, shorts, fishnets, and I tired mutiple different outfits, but nothing felt right.

"The pants made it kind of wierd"

"Ouuhh.. yeah no-.."

"I think I’m loosing my mind, what the hell is this?"

I rubbed my eyes and sighed. I went back into the bathroom and tried on my last outfit. I looked myself in the mirror and smiled. I actually really liked it, but I needed to see what Nick thought of it. So I opened the door and stepped into his room. Nick looked up from his phone and smiled at me.

"Uhh yeah! Defiently, you look good girl!"

I smiled at his compliment.

"Thanks"

We both finished getting ready, we chilled downstairs with Matt and Chris before we all headed out for the evening.

————————————————————————

Im too lazy to write more :)👍

Regardless of that though, hope you had a good night or day and youre worth so much💕💕

-dexy💕

[eamour]

Its actually so comforting to know that you’re also an ex-muslim, I’ve never seen another one of us on loa tumblr so when I read your post about it I was just so happy that I can finally relate to someone. I remember when I was a Muslim when I first started doubting things was when my dad bought me a english translation of the Quran. When I read about the homophobic and misogynistic stuff written in there i was super frustrated but at the same time I didn’t want to leave Islam as Ive been indoctrinated since I was younger so I was trying to find proof online that Islam wasn’t actually misogynistic and homophobic. I’m glad I know longer believe in it though because it felt like I was mentally in a cage trying to convince myself that Islam didn’t hate women when it clearly did. I also really dislike it when Muslims act like their religion is feminist like its actually so frustrating, those people have probably never read the quran translated into a language they understand yet they claim that their religion is feminist and supports women. Also this might be a reach but I genuinely think a lot of the worlds problems stem from religion and a lot of the reason why so many old problems are still here is because of religion, I feel like if it wasn’t for religion a lot less people would be homophobic and sexist.

Im so sorry for ranting I just really wanted to say this somewhere as there isn’t really another place for me to say this.

first of all… this message made me so happy, genuinely happy… the way you can relate to me, i can — even if it’s just in a few aspects — relate to you as well.

i‘m shocked at how similar our experiences were. personally, i have never fully believed in religion and couldn’t make sense of it, especially when it came to the misogynistic and sexist parts…

i wanted to say this again if it wasn’t clear: on my blog, you can feel free to talk about such topics, no matter how "insensitive" they might come across! i don’t want to limit my blog to only talking about "how" to manifest, but also get to know the people in this community and the experiences they have made individually. 🥹💗

i can tell you, you are not the only one who has gone through this. i‘m sure many people (including me) can relate to you! ♡

[youredreamingofroo]

a bit of a message talking about inactivity and my possible hiatus. I dont know if this counts as a cw but i talk about depression here and there at the beginning (nothing graphic) and as usual, its a rant

im gonna be straight honest rn, i'm probably not gonna be active on tumblr for these next few days, ive been super up and down depressed and im just unmotivated and too tired to do anything, im still gonna check in here and there but dont expect me to reblog or reply to many posts, if at all. This could mark the beginning of a hiatus, but with mood swings and up and down depression, i could be back, active as ever tomorrow. Ever since ive uninstalled Sims 4, i did feel a weight lift off my shoulders, but simultaneously made me depressed due to the lack of... well... doing something, i dont... really know how to put it into words, its just something in my brain that i just cant explain, i guess a good way to put it is playing sims 4 gave me the motivation to stem off into other mediums, blender for example, gave me something to do, something to learn, and while i can still use blender, i just get progressively slower and slower at doing stuff in it because of my limited resources, some scenes i want to do require specific outfits and i dont have the facilities to make those outfits... i mean i probably do but i just dont feel motivated to do all that. I still play other games, ive been playing a lot of slime rancher 2 and have been trying to branch out to other games (indie games and bigger games), I want to post gameplay but if youve seen me rant about tumblr before, one of my biggest gripes is just how fucking annoying it is to upload images, so i just get completely unmotivated to post images/gameplay especially if its just some silly post. if uh if anyone is still reading this, ill be honest, i havent even been motivated to write about WAS at all, probably havent touched the planning doc in about 2 weeks. This... 'spiral'... has been noticeable for me for the last week as my sleep schedule gets swapped around from sleeping at night and awake during the day... to sleeping during the day and awake at night, this is all my fault, but its also just something that happens rotationally for me, i go from sleeping VERY early in the evening (6PM at the earliest) and waking at VERY early times in the morning (4AM at the latest) to sleeping VERY late in the morning (6AM at the earliest) and waking up late in the evening (3PM at the latest), i dont really know what causes the shift, but it happens, and i often blame myself for it even though i dont know what causes it...

anyways sorry, this will probably mark a very iffy hiatus, like i said ill be active but not... super active, i didnt check tumblr at all yesterday/monday, so thats kind of the pattern to expect from me depending on the day. In the meantime... i might try to get back into older sims games, ive mentioned this before, but i do have sims 1 on my laptop so maybe ill post stupid little gameplay posts from there (granted i havent played in like... a month 😐). I'll probably put up a poll after this post for people to vote on which sims game i should play- i KNOW i did it once before but im probably gonna do it again cuz i cant find the post and i have over 1000 posts 😭

if you read thus far, thank you for sticking around, if your a random person who read this for no reason... thanks? if your a follower of mine and cant understand where im coming from with this lengthy post, see yourself out or deal with it 🙃 otherwise, thank you all and i will be lurking about

[pombeom]

trigger warning (sexual crimes mentioned)

hey pombeom here,

i was gonna finish writing a fic for a request today but the whole taeil incident really threw me off and it got me thinking about how we can never trust the idols we see on screen. i don’t stan nct but i did for a few months back in 2020/2021 and you would never have thought that taeil was capable of something like this. i’m very much disappointed and enraged by his behaviour and i hope he gets what he deserves and that the victim/(s) are supported in every way. plus the news of the nth room again in korea just drove me over the edge. apparently around 200 male idols were involved and i’m starting to fear that some of the groups i stan are the wrong type of people. this just shows that we never fully know the ppl we are fans of.

this isn’t the type of content i wanted to be posting on here as i want this to be a positive space but ive been disturbed by all the news today and its gotten to the point where my trust is being broken. i just needed somewhere to share my thoughts and anyone who thinks taeil’s actions are acceptable pls unfollow immediately. i don’t want to be interacting with someone who supports a sex offender.

once i clear my mind of this incident, i shall be posting again. i even had a few new ideas yesterday that i was gonna work on so maybe i can actually get to writing them soon.

if anyone wants any information on any of this or wants to talk for any reason please feel free to reach out and message me. once again sorry that i’m having to talk about this instead of posting a fic, but this topic is very important to me even though i haven’t gone through it myself. i know people im very close to experience sexual harassment and it’s something that gets me so angry. i just needed to get this off my chest so bad. thank you of you for to the end of this long rant but i just need ppl to understand the seriousness of this.

-pombeom

[smute]

the ios app is such a disaster honestly. idk how many posts ive made on here complaining about the performance and overheating issues but i do know that ive tried to tell @staff about them multiple times, both through apple's report an issue thingy in the app store and directly via the tumblr support page. ive been through every troubleshooting step. i cant even tell you how often i reinstalled the app. i have tested it on wifi and cellular, with 5g on and 5g off. its always the same thing. the app draws insane amounts of power whenever it is active/open, even when im not scrolling, and my phone gets warmer and warmer until it eventually shuts down with a temperature warning or gets too hot to hold in my hand

a couple weeks ago i actually upgraded to a new phone (for context: my previous one was only 2 years old, not some ancient underpowered thing, and apart from tumblr i NEVER noticed any performance/temperature issues so i wasn't really looking for an upgrade, i just got a really good offer from my carrier). the tumblr app also makes my (older) ipad overheat, so i already knew that the problem here wasn't a particular device, but given the chance i was ofc curious to see if things would improve with a newer one. they didn't 🤪

anyway i conducted a little informal experiment with the new phone to figure out exactly how bad the problem is. didn't even install the tumblr app when i first set it up, just to see how the phone would perform without buggy software (the answer is really well)

under normal usage the battery lasts for at least two fucking days. texting, playing music, surfing, fucking reading ebooks, watching youtube videos, we're talking like close to 30 hours of screen time on a single charge. SCREEN time, not standby.

on saturday morning, while using the tumblr app (and only the tumblr app), i went from 90% to 50% in TWO AND A HALF HOURS. that is insane.

like not only is it super uncomfortable to hold a piping hot thing made of glass and metal in your hands, im also genuinely concerned about the health of my battery lmao

until a few months ago i had NEVER encountered this problem, not even on my old iphone 8 that sometimes struggled with other apps as well. tumblr always worked fine. idk what they changed or which weird new feature that nobody asked for is responsible for this but something is drawing power like CRAZY and literally FRYING MY HARDWARE.

honestly its like the world's shittiest screen time reminder lmao. after 30 minutes the temperature starts to get uncomfortable and after an hour i literally have to take a break, close the app for 5 minutes and let my phone cool off. WHICH IT DOES BTW. like almost INSTANTLY. idk what else to say except that this seems to be a feature not a bug. in the sense that it happens no matter what i do

lmao sorry this turned into such a long rant. like i said, i already messaged tumblr support about it but this has been going on for months at this point and i am P I S S E D

[moonjxsung]

ita officially been like 2 weeks since i visited your blog which is crqzy to me because used to be here every day and send in a message at least once a week idkw happened to me star 😭😭

i feel like i feel better than i was before but im still like really just mentally tired in way where i cant really bring myself to do anything 😞😞 its ok though i feel like im getting better!!

hru star?? how was valentines? i miss talking to you and sending you little asks patiently waiting for you to reply being all excited abt it like a little kid waiting to open their christmas gifts the night before 😭

my valentines went okay! my friends got me flowers and i got chocolate for them in return (⇀‸↼‶)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟits officially been over a year since i last dated anyone since i broke up w my last ex a few days before february started in 2023

i feel like ive just been avoiding dating or relationships in general cs my past experiences just turned out pretty shitty and i dont think i really see a point in it anymore

i think its working out pretty well for me though cs i actually ended up getting a lot better and a lot less insecure and stressed, etc afterwards 🥳🥳

excuse my little rant but sending lots of luv even though i havent been here on a while!! luv u sm <3

~《☘》

HI BABYYYY I MISSED YOU !!

I feel like so many of us have just been going THRU it lately ☹️ it’s been a tiring 2 months for sure but I feel like I’m finally starting to be where I need to be and I’m finding inspiration as we get closer to spring! I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been in a bit of a slump, but also don’t apologize for being absent! I’m always here if you need me, go take care of yourself whenever you need to and know that I’m rooting for you all the while 🫶

I’m doing GOOD !! I’m still super busy with work and my best friend is getting married in like 8? Days?? Which is CRAZY to me bc how is February almost over 😧 I’m also turning 25 in like 2 weeks or something and I am terrified BUT I am almost done writing this book and I’m still aiming to get it out before February is over (hopefully the weekend of my friend’s wedding so yall can be entertained while I’m gone all weekend👼) and I just feel so INSPIRED !! My Valentine’s was good too, nothing special because I remain sworn off dating entirely but I was very busy at work so I live vicariously through my coworkers and their love lives 💓🫶 I also totally get the notion of feeling like you’re growing when you’re not in relationships, since focusing on myself I’ve been so much more successful in every sense of the word and I have zero distractions so I can sit around and write poetry about skz all day long. It’s great 🤸‍♀️ but also please know that if you ever do decide to put yourself back out there again, you deserve to be with somebody who will make you feel loved and appreciated the way you deserve!

Sending you so much love my lovely clover, I’m always here for you 💕💗🩷👼💖💓🎀 I LOVE YOUUU

[rriavian]

WIP tag game. Last chapter 2.2.2 please! i’m so excited ive been waiting all my life for this moment, i absolutely adore deliverance, thank you for cooking up all these fics, i felt like hitting a jackpot when i found your works on ao3

Thank you so much! It’s a pretty niche ship so I’m really happy you found my work and have been enjoying it!! Sometimes it can feel like a very small and lonely corner of the fandom, so messages like yours are so precious <3

Oh Deliverance—I can't believe I started it over a year ago—this fic is very special to me but my goodness have I stalled on finishing it! The last chapter is currently too long but still unfinished, and I need to sit down for a solid day or two and sort it out. I can't help but feel guilty about how long it’s taking (I’ve been writing other things in the meantime while struggling with it) and you've been so patient. Just want to make sure the wait is worth it :) Anyway! Sorry for the rant…I’ve just been really trying to get it finished these past few weeks

Here is a (very short!) snippet:

It was barely a flicker of what Dream was; the light in his eyes dimming, no longer kind enough to hide what was beyond its glare, the truth an unfathomable horror. So abstract it shouldn’t have inspired fear at all. Yet it did, even in the Corinthian it did, and he wasn’t even human but for a moment he tasted like one, tasted fear on his tongues and found that beneath Ethel's heady terror some of it was his. There was inspiration in this; fear the kind when standing on the bow of a ship, staring into waves that for a moment weren’t gentle, that had previously lapped so quietly at the hull but now you knew how they could roar.

It was a flicker to remind you that you were so very small. There was metal beneath your feet but then there'd only be water. It held the boat, it held you as surely as in the palm of a hand.

And it could crush you like a bug.

[p-taryn-dactyl]

hey guys, i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent in condelences in response to my post about the recent threats ive been receiving.

thankfully, these have not been appearing on Tumblr but on my tiktok (where they were the worst) which I have now privated and my instagram, where a few accounts sent threatening dms but ive blocked and reported them

what started as me sharing things on my private story turned into me receiving 50+ messages from accounts and people I do not know. I consider myself a pretty understanding person and with the content of the things I posted, in context to world events, I can understand that emotions are running high and that people forget that others exist. But the absolute second you threaten my family, my little sisters, my best friends, you loose any sympathy from me for your person.

i originally started posting on my private story but once i realized i was taking the cowards way out by only posting my opinion in an area where i currate who views it, i decided to post on my public story. I guess this is where it started getting bad and where I messed up but again, I feel immense empathy and sympathy for people in pain right now but you have no right to threaten my sisters. I honestly don't care about my life, I plan on going into a career field where my life has a high probability of being threatened. Its the little girls that I grew up with and took care of that i will fight for.

i'll probably delete this later but i do have one point to say that is going to sound angry because i am beyond pissed off

do your fucking research people, don't blindly believe the misinformation being spread, don't take one sides account as gospel while the other is overshadowed by lies. im sick of the hypocrisy i see in the mainstream media. im sick of a lot of things

sorry for the rant and i hope everyone has a great day/night and stays safe <3

[autumntri]

inaugural blog, 2022

hi !

so i've been wanting to start a blog to chart new artistic progress that i am now making for the first time in a few years, climbing out of a pit of guilt and depression that really decapitated my ability to really do very much with myself. for the first time in a long while, the stars seem to be lining up for me.

let me introduce myself, i am caroline, i am a trans woman in texas (lol). i am the worlds loneliest woman on account of being kind of hard to be friends with, and i strive everyday to be an easier person to be friends with and associate around. i have a complicated string of mental health issues, primarily bpd, that i am working on all at once and im actually putting up a good fight. i think.

my hobbies include a general interest in computers and computer science (i am currently using these skills to create a plex server), cigarette rolling (🚬), storywriting, and multimedia art. i dabble in a little bit of all media art creation, i use garageband on macOS sometimes, im bad at digital painting but i used to do that on occasion, and i am getting back into game development, of which i picked up because ive always been fascinated with the inner workings of video games. video games are the ultimate collection of media, i feel.

i have started writing a "web novel" called alteroworld, and its the starting point for a universe of multiple art projects i wish to create, centered around the potential shortcomings of transhumanism.

i am also starting development on an indie game called skywings. i've had this idea for exactly 6 years now, and i'm tired of letting it fester. let it tear, i say.

im not going into much detail about these things in this blog post, i will sometimes make update posts for these (definitely once a month, never any less than that) and there will be separate categories for those things if youre not interested in my regular blog posts, which will be mostly about my opinions on things and posting about my hobbies that don't revolve around content creation, plus my interests and what music im listening to, that kind of thing.

i am also transgender so, yk. if you're transphobic i do not care, i am not reading your messages. trump lost btw.

i have borderline personality disorder and im navigating the world with that newfound knowledge, i discovered in may of this year and i have been making a very slow but steady recovery. this is something i wish to be transparent about but that does not give anyone the right to be shitty about this kind of thing, i know how people talk about this disorder online and its kind of sick. i'm sorry for those that have been hurt by people with these disorders, i hope they seek help, but these broad generalizations don't help anyone's recovery either.

impromptu rant aside, i hope this blogspace interests someone out there.

[ditzywhispers]

warnings: vent post, mental issues post, self hate

(not about me though, mostly)

i hate it when i see people talking down about themselves when theyre a good person.

there's this one person i know on discord, and i see them venting time to time in their server. i barely talk in there so i cant say anything (def not my place to say anything) but im. getting so concerned. i woke up to see messages that could've not been there, but there were.

i understand their thoughts, to a degree, because im a growing teen with anxious thoughts and fears of the most stupidest things. i am, at the moment, over those moments, i don't know if they'll come back, but that's not the point. i woke up one day, a few weeks ago, and wrote a page and a half rant about how selfish and stupid i am, how i get worked up and argue with people for too long, for how i don't seem to be able to let go of things and how im too much of a coward to even hurt myself because im afraid of that but don't i deserve it?

ive had those moments, but the person im talking about has it worse and i hate that they feel they need to feel those things BECAUSE THEY DONT. despite whatever i said above, i DO NOT understand how they feel, at all. i had it MUCH LESS WORSE, to be completely clear. but i can understand come of those thoughts, even if it's just a little, and i wish they didn't think they should be feelings these things. ive had a much more comfortable, open life free of bullying at school, so of course i wouldnt have understood. but y'know. to a point. because im a person too.

they dont deserve those thoughts to be in their brain, they're not a bad person and a really good artist /gen. life made it that way and i fucking hate that.

i don't deserve to talk about this, but im selfish. im a selfish person.

that's okay.

this post may not be okay

however

it's okay to be selfish, alright? human beings were built like that.

you do not ruin the atmosphere of the chat went you butt in. you may get other people to be irritated, but what are the chances of that??? its a public chat. yeah, sure, a public chat with other people with feelings but it's a PUBLIC chat. you HAVE THE RIGHT to speak in there, and the people probably wouldn't talk in the chat you were in if they didn't want to, wouldn't they? it's not that difficult to make a group chat.

you are one of the people in the group. you may, you can drag them down, games or whatever, but that's okay. you can't be good at anything, you're still growing up. actually, fuck that. human beings weren't meant to be perfect.

no person is horrible just for simply existing. it's their words, actions, that tell you who you are.

its okay to lash out at people. as long as you truly feel bad, as long as you apologize, jts fine.

cut off ties with people you feel uncomfortable with.sometimes, you just have to be an asshole. you deserve to be comfortable.

i do actually have the base thoughts of "im a bad person". then i have these thoughts (usually in the shower) that indicate i do care about how other people feel and that's a reminder that there's worse people out there, who actively go out of their ways to hurt people.

that's not your intentions, isn't it? to hurt people ALL THE TIME?

Its okay to want to hurt people. just not all the time. you don't feel that rage to hurt every person you see, ALL THE TIME, right?

then you're okay.

people have these "I hate everyone and I hate myself the world is cruel" thoughts time to time. you're not alone.

youre an okay person.

ypu may not be the greatest, but that's okay. no one expects you to be, you don't have to. just live your life comfortably.

you can't always be comfortable, but you don't have to feel like you're not allowed to be.

allow yourself some things. that's okay.

that's selfish, but that's just us. you can't be human without being selfish.

im sorry.

this was a selfish post.

selfish thoughts. they're hard to say "they're okay". so just let them go. it's not easy, they'll always come back like a boomerang, let yourself feel things. then let it go, until it comes back.

then let it go again.

[futilefangirl]

Hello! I just saw your post asking other Ryan Gosling fans about their thoughts on his movies. It was a few months ago so I don’t know if you’re still interested; if not, please don’t waste your time on this, but if you are, this is my favorite, least favorite(s), and unpopular gem.

Favorite: La La Land. I CANNOT with how good this movie is, and I usually HATE musicals and romances. Put those two things together and you get…a super freakin good movie that made me cry and listen to the soundtrack no less than thirty times??? I’m sure you’ve heard other people sing it’s praises before, but genuinely, this movie is a work of art.

Least Favorite(s): for this one, it’s complicated because I have two - one that was so unbelievably boring that I had to quit after thirty minutes, and one that has a few redeeming qualities but a horrible message. Let’s start with the boring one:

Song to Song - there was so much overlapping narration it was like a documentary of some obscure history figure nobody cares about rather than a movie. People were doing the Devil’s Tango at random intervals and I don’t know why.

Crazy Stupid Love: okay so I know this one is on the more popular side, so if you or anyone else reading this disagrees, I kinda get it and please don’t attack me. The redeeming qualities are as followed: at some points, it’s really funny. Put Ryan Gosling and the guy from the office together and you’re gonna have good humor. Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling do it again! While I don’t like their relationship as much as their one in La La Land, it’s still pretty nice. Okay, now into the main reason I don’t like it: the romance message is that if you try, embarrass, and harass the person you love enough, they will eventually love you back. No.

My Unpopular Favorite: Stay (2005). Good Lord do I love this movie, and I get why some people don’t like it, but I do. It has heavy suicidal themes, so watch out, and is confusing at times, but it deals with emotions so well and the transitions between scenes are creative and smooth as crap. Ending is super sad too, like, a characters last words haunt me to this day.

Honorable mentions are: Remember the Titans (RG had a minor role but it handles racial issues perfectly and is also the best football movie ever, and that’s not controversial), Barbie (introduced me to Goose, so forever thankful), and The Nice Guys (Goose NEEDS to do more comedy films because he [and costar Russel Crowe] are absolutely hilarious in this).

Thanks for listening to me rant!

Thanks for sharing!! but im sorry did you say barbie introduced you to ryan???????????????????????? i didnt know this could be a thing, still i am very happy for you and you seem to have been catching up quite quickly! i re-watched crazy stupid love recently and actually got quite a kick out of it, but people could say the same about noah and allies relationship in notebook and i will simply not be hearing any of that The Notebook was my introduction to his work and let me tell you it certainly changed my life aha i couldnt imagine my teenage years without him, johnny, leo or emile hirsch

i really think movies just hit differently at different times in our lives for different reasons, if i was originally dissapointed by any of his work i would just not give it another shot but its been years and years since ive seen some of them and am certainly ready to re watch

[acewoman]

I want to be on anon. You can laugh at me, judge me etc. The answer is simple: tell him to stop touching you, yet I can't say this. There is a guy at work, an older guy, he will retire in January 2024. He's 65 years old. Everybody loves him, he touches all women (he touches their shoulders, pats someone back, he touches someone's waist (or he tickles someone) etc. He's like this with all women, all seem to love him a lot because he's a "jokester". I'm new here, I have been working here a couple of months now and I don't want to be a weird one who complains and someone who's a drama queen. I hate it that yesterday he started touching me (my waist, and today - he touched me again twice) I try to just ignore like nothing happened and I try to avoid him. While he's talking I just try not having long conversation. Women sit on his lap when they joke with him, everyone LOVES this guy and yes I should have said something yet I have no courage. I was always a black sheep and if I'd complain everyone would think I'm crazy because this guy is "funny" and "such a jokester" he's like this with everyone from the oldest woman who works here to the youngest. I'm ashamed because I'd be seen as a crazy drama queen. I hate when people are touching me and when he touches me I feel DIRTY. He also talks about sex and fucking all the time during lunch break and everyone think he's so funny. I have no idea how to react anymore because he's so loved, and I would look like the crazy one. I hate this, I hate myself. You can also think I'm stupid and I am stupid, if this happened outside of work I'd say something, I truly would, I had no problem telling weirdos to go fuck themselves... but because I would look crazy now I act completely different. I was never good at defending myself. Yes I did say I had no problem to tell someone to go fuck themselves, but only to strangers. It's different when it comes to people I know and it's different when people who are so loved by others because I was always afraid being seen as a drama queen or the sensitive one... because I am sensitive, I get upset quickly, I cry easily... I was always an outsider, always "the weird one" people talked about.

I'm sorry about this rant.

I just feel DIRTY and I'f like to hear from radfems. Do you think I'm crazy? Is anyone else crazy to love this man? Or do anyone else just go along with it like me and hope he'll start annoying another woman soon? I seriously feel crazy. Kinda powerless as well. Thank you for reading this I have no idea what's the point of this rant... maybe I'd like for you to reply and tell me if you ever went along with something because people loved someone so much and you were afraid you were seen as a drama queen? Or maybe if any of your followers were weak minded like me in the past?

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like everybody else in the office is enabling it, but I really wouldn't be surprised if there are other women in your office that feel the same way about you but haven't spoken up.

First of all, you are NOT stupid, or crazy, or a drama queen. It is perfectly normal to have boundaries, especially with people that you barely know, but with everybody. You are not weakminded for having boundaries or for being uncomfortable around somebody.

Secondly, I hear where you're coming from...it's much, much harder to tell people to fuck off if you actually know them, right? I'm the same way. But women like us have to remember that we deserve to have boundaries and that we deserve to enforce them, no matter who it is. I don't know if you've seen my few posts in the past, but I'm going through something with a friend of mine. I've also been having some issues with a regular customer messaging me over facebook even though ive already rejected him. So I understand what you mean about it being harder with people you know.

It sounds like you haven't known this man long, and it sounds like he's only just started this behavior with you? I know it's intimidating, but its important to nip this in the bud early. Personally, i would recommend starting with telling him that you aren't a touchy feely person (regardless of whether that's true or not). If he tries to double down, keep repeating that you don't enjoy being touched. If he keeps insisting, then keep repeating that with a sound and level voice. This will make him look like the boundary trampling creep that he is, and the others will also get the message that HE is the one in the wrong.

Thirdly, and I know this is really difficult, but DO NOT APOLOGIZE TO HIM WHILE ENFORCING BOUNDARIES. I literally can not stress that part enough. You have nothing to apologize for. HE does.

The unfortunate thing about this option is that it takes the blame away from him, but its most likely the best way to go about it without escalating it. But if he keeps pushing, then you might have to escalate.

I'm sorry, I wish I had better advice. Again, I really do understand what you mean and how just telling him to fuck off isn't the answer, even though we desperately wish it was.

Please feel free to message me directly if you want to talk.

Does anybody else have any other advice?

[userholland]

i hope you’re okay!!! i don’t know why people spew hate on your blog or directed at you :( literally j bc they hide behind an anonymous face makes them think they can say shit, really pathetic.

I am giving you the biggest hug ever, and if you ever decide that you will take an indefinite break for forever, those who love you on here will understand. You are worth more and better than whatever those shitty anons are saying. Love always <3.

thank you so much. <3 lately ive been struggling with a lot in my personal life and it just hasnt been the most supportive few months ever either. its like, i want to not be seen differently by my mutuals and i dont want to be miserable and i feel like im sort drowning in this hate thats sent to me over anon.

but the fact is, it all stems from my opinion about zendaya and also just tom & her being a couple. i feel like i tried to express and explain multiple times that i dont hate either of them or the relationship. and how i dont not dislike because of her and just her or are jealous of her, rather im actually so turned off by her fan base / some of this fan base that it made me question people's morals and what is supposed to be funny. i almost have realized some ppl think im inclined to praise zendaya by association. like i dont wanna be a hardass either but im honestly just not understanding where all of this defensiveness is coming from other than just it being for a celeb they love who i just dont really like anymore for preference in actors. because it shouldnt feel like a big deal.

i wanted to joke about all this and be able to post any thing but then it became such a toxic environment to the point where im simmered down to a loser and worthless. so. im not asking anyone to defend me, its no one's job, but i think i guess i also wasnt expecting all of it to take a toll on me and my mental health. being told im fat, ugly, a loser, racist, sexist, a waste of space, pathetic, and that i should die / kill myself everyday all because of this.... because i think that a person is showing obsessive behavior toward a pair of celebrities and reblogging photos of them and making assumptions about them all the time. because i think racism was being wrongfully pointed at and used in the context of this relationship when it was inappropriate. like im supposed to settle with it that and be told that i am a moron for not thinking theyre the cutest couple in the world as well.

ive also said that ive always been open to constructive criticism and if i should off, then message me and we can talk about it. and i dont get why people couldnt do that? worst comes to worst, you just stop talking. you dont have to confront me on anon or on a post because of a point. genuinely having beef on tumblr is a bit much for something thats for fandoms.

but i cant stand the way im being treated or how any of my mutuals are being treated either. so i feel like i can only post so much of my opinion until no one even gives me the time of day because they think im being negative. i just dont feel comfortable on here but i still find comfort in my mutuals if that makes sense. so thats why i stay but i dont know, im fine with going back and forth for now. i just sort of come on everyday and wonder why everyone hates me so much and why im a terrible person with no real evidence... so. yeah just frustrating and exhausting

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

I was thinking about your post about the discrepancy between writers' notes vs artists' and thought about when I used to post fics on here, and those almost always got way more notes than my art. Part of it I'm sure is that my drawings were just bad, but also I think a reason was that most of my art was solo pics and alot of times of girls. My fics were usually p popular m/m pairings and got 30-40+ notes alot. F/m and f/f fics usually only got 5-10 notes, so shipping is a big reason too

Oh that’s really interesting! 

Yeah there’s also that tendency of fandom to flock to big artists’ pages, and support only them when there are tons and tons of small artists out there, but NOOO everyone wants to reblog a post with 50-100+ notes when there’s just as good art that gets only like 10-12 notes 😬

Hmmm.. I don’t know what the Hetalia fandom’s attitude is on the gals right now, since they’re still minor characters, but I’ve heard they used to get a lot of hate for ““““messing with the yaoi””””” or whatever bs so I can see that. But I’ve also seen solo pics get a lot of notes, provided that they’re a) made by a popular blog, b) reblogged from a popular blog or c) of a popular character (FACE family + Nordics+Tomato Gang+ some assorted other Europeans rip)...

And big agree at your third point about fanfiction with ships, especially m/m fics😔 The one ship fic I have so far is an OT3 ship, so it has the expected amount of notes (10-14? idk)... but I feel you so hard... I hate how this fandom is so ship crazy with everyone, and how basically everyone ships the popular ships. There’s literally no avoiding Fruk, Usuk, Spamano, Dennor and Sufin.... rather little femslash, my only fics have been gen or feature long winded introspective ramblings (besides that 1 poly ship thing) so I guess there’s that reason for the note problem lmao.

Thanks for pointing that out anon! I feel like this is just. a long chain analyzing the reasons writers get 0 notes here, but I still want to stress that even with all these factors,

THERE IS LITERALLY NO REASON NOT TO START SUPPORTING WRITERS! BE IT GEN OR SHIP FICS! ESPECIALLY FICS WITH UNPOPULAR RAREPAIRS! DO IT! SUPPORT FIC WRITERS AND HEADCANON MAKERS!

[bluebeardsbride-archive]

about your tags on the gifset of 3.7: I notice he does something similar with Bedelia later. in their conversations in late s3 his voice starts to take on a breathiness similar to hers, and it makes me wonder about their discussion re: the injured bird (tho one could argue, considering Will's incarnations in other media, that he applied her advice to Francis). either way, Will learning from Hannibal's previous wives (and his ends in doing so) is an A+ point I'd love to read more about

(referring to this post)

That’s something Will does in Red Dragon, too! (And something Hugh Dancy captures perfectly in his performance!)

Anyway— onto the wounded bird. Hannibal is a show that deals with the purposes and repercussions of violence. Sacrificial violence, sacred violence, cathartic violence, righteous violence, violence for the sake of violence— you name it. What Bedelia is discussing with the bird metaphor compassionate violence: violence born out of empathy. 

BEDELIA: You’re walking down the street and you see a wounded bird in the grass. What’s your first thought?WILL: It’s vulnerable, I want to help it.BEDELIA: My first thought is also that it’s vulnerable. Yet I want to crush it. A primal rejection of weakness which is every bit as natural as the nurturing instinct. Of course, I wouldn’t crush it, but my first thought would be to do just that. 

To revisit some of my tags on an old post: 

#thinking of that time in class where someone said #one of the theories for why humans like to pet animals #is to remind ourselves that we can kill them #i don’t know how true it is but it’s a striking thought #that maybe the nurturing instinct and the instinct to destroy weakness #come from the same root (x)

The underlying implication being: the reason some of us cannot bear weakness is because we cannot bear suffering. It’s because of our empathy that we crush the bird, not because of malice. Or, in the show’s words: “Extreme acts of cruelty require a high degree of empathy.” 

In other words, when Bedelia is talking about the bird, she is talking about mercy. Will has difficulty with this, I think, because the truth is mercy is only a kinder word for violence. (Compare his lines in 2x12: “There is no mercy. We make mercy,manufacture it in parts that haveovergrown our basic reptile brain.”) It may be violence born out of compassion, but it is still violence. Its end results are indistinguishable from the end results of cruelty. 

Bedelia wants those end results: she doesn’t care how she comes by them. She doesn’t want Hannibal a wounded bird on the side of the road, she wants him dead or imprisoned: unable to hurt her. 

BEDELIA: Extreme acts of cruelty require a high degree of empathy. The next time your instinct is to help someone, you should really consider crushing them instead. You might save yourself some trouble.

So she means for Will to apply this idea of mercy to Dolarhyde and Hannibal. And he does apply it to Dolarhyde (and I would also argue Chilton) and intends to apply it to Hannibal (as their exchange on the cliffside before the fight indicates)—

HANNIBAL: You intend to watch him kill me?WILL: I intend to watch him change you.

But in the end, Will does not stand by and let mercy have its way. Instead, he reaches for his gun. Will couldn’t kill Hannibal, and he couldn’t watch him die. Why not? 

I want to talk about another form of cruelty, a type that masquerades as kindness. You find a bird on the side of the road, dying a long, painful death, and there is nothing you will be able to do to save it. The ending is already written. But let’s say you try: and you prolong its life by a few hours, a few hours the bird spends suffering. That seems pointless, and for most of us it would be an easy choice: kill the bird. Crush it with a rock. Be merciful. But the choices we are faced with as human beings— hurt or harm, crush or help— are often not so simple. After all, it’s easy to crush a wounded bird lying by the side of the road: it’s far more difficult to crush someone that you love.

When we love someone we are not capable of mercy. Instead, we are capable of prolonged cruelty. That cruelty may disguise itself as tenderness, but it is still cruelty. I’m thinking of the scenes in 3x07 where Hannibal tends to Will’s bullet wound and feeds him soup— what purpose do his actions serve? He’s going to kill Will anyway. It’s not kindness. It’s cruelty. Love takes compassion out of us. Will can’t apply Bedelia’s advice to Hannibal, because Hannibal, unlike Dolarhyde, isn’t a wounded bird on the side of the road. He loves Hannibal, and love is not merciful. Love cannot be merciful, or else it would not be love.