#sounds like it's kinda fine but they also kinda butchered it

[ibrokeeverything]

Just rewatched The Boy in the Iceberg, and man there's something really special in the original atla

In other news, water is wet, grass is green, and the sky is blue

[katierosefun]

me, watching the first few episodes of the boys: yeah so this’ll just be a fun show i can consume it normally while tending to my real life obligations

me, now realizing i’ve finished the first season in roughly 24 hours:

[sharonisthebettercarter]

Starlight isn't interested in being a mom, she'll protect kids when the situation calls for it and be supportive of said kids, but she's not gonna take care of a child 24/7. She's more "protective auntie" type than "Good mom energy". Nobody expected Billy to be all nurturing towards kids, they shouldn't expect the same from starlight, it doesn't matter if the latter has a stronger connection to kids. We never saw her talk wanting kids nor shown any implications of her wanting to join motherhood. She definitely seems like she's someone who likes kids, but doesn't want any of her own. So yeah, don't expect her to be anyone's mom. Nobody expected Billy to be anyone's dad, especially if you read the comics, don't expect starlight to be anyone's mom. Idgas if she's nicer to kids than billy.

idk what you're on about anon but it's fuckin' weird, i'ma tell ya that.

starlight wanting kids is basically schrodinger's cat here. sure, she's never said or implied she specifically *wanted* kids.

but she's never said or implied that she specifically *doesn't* want kids either, in either iteration so whatever you thought this was, it's just a great big can of nothin' word soup.

or in other words, this random ramble that showed up in my inbox? it don't make a lick of sense.

also, why even care so much if starlight becomes a mom or not??? that is an exceedingly weird thing to grasp onto, i gotta say. it sounds more like *you* specifically don't want her to have kids and are possibly projecting your own desire onto your interpretation of the character, so headcanon i guess?? which fine, but why bother me with it???????? who even cares whether she becomes a mom or not? if they go that route, they go that route, if they don't, they don't.

butt.

i will also say that if starlight didn't ever want kids or had some sort of issue with adopting one, she probably would have freaked out the first second hughie mentioned 'may have signed us up to adopt a kid'. she was pretty unfazed in response so it either just wasn't something she cared to give much attention to in that moment (half because she wouldn't mind/half because more important topics at hand), or her and hughie *are* actually at the stage in their relationship where kids aren't necessarily the goal, but they're okay with becoming parents and have probably talked about it (at least once, generally an important conversation for a healthy het couple that is sexually active)

and why in satan's red hellscape would you designate her as a 'protective auntie' specifically to bar her from 'good mom energy'?????????? first of all, WHAT?? who are you to decide that for another woman?????? how do you even decide *for another woman* 'yeah, she likes kids but def never wants any of her own'??? leik wut?? when did she say *anything* even remotely implying this???????????

why do *you* get to speak for *her*?????? what the hell are you even basing this assumption on????????????

and second, why couldn't she be both???? people can be *both* moms to one kid and aunts to others. if your mom has siblings(or super close family friends/besties), and her siblings(besties) have kids, which would be your cousins(or conisdered family), she's an aunt too(or could be considered one)!

and if mom's sibling is a sister and they both have kids, wouldn't ya know, they're *both* mom/auntie combos!!

leik where is the logic here?????????????

shoot, we might even see them actually adopt a kid (maybe teddy stillwell) if that paperwork did actually go through and i could def picture hughie freakin' out but annie bein' a total boss about it (also lmao would be kinda great since the kid's powers match hughie's, could also picture butcher pushing hughie to adopt teddy specifically to use him... FFFFFFFFFFFFFF--)

butt~ there's also leaked spoilers of a pregnancy reveal in the next season, big chance it could be starlight's, leik big enough to make a safe bet i'd guess, but who knows.

otherwise, i mean if you wanna write starlight not being a mom in fanfic, that's an option. it is free. have at it.

just maybe don't bother the people who do make her become a mom in their own fics or want to see that in the show, or try to implement your personal vision of 'what starlight should be' onto them, that much is a bit of a dick move. (you can make your own meta and nicely discuss but this ask is hella weird)

leik you could have just been honest and said 'i don't want starlight to have kids' and it would have made a 1000 times more sense and been more valid than whatever the hell this thing was.

i ramble a ton but don't care one way or another, which just makes this extra weird anon. honestly wtf. this might make more sense if i gushed about starlight becoming a mom as much as i did about butcher getting impregnated~<3 but i've only ever mentioned it in passing, probably once or twice?? normally in reference to predictions for *if* ryan survives, which i've made pretty clear i'm *not* holding out for. (that kid died in the comic by butcher's hand, given the parallels with the kid accidentally killing his mom in both comic and show, i'm expecting a similar parallel for him and butcher eventually) you sure this one was meant for me???

also, the way things are going + leaked spoilers, maybe don't be surprised if she does in fact become a mom in canon? (or if butcher causes her to have a miscarriage i guess. would not put it past him... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--)

[sailorsally]

Sally's Purcon Chronicles

(heads up, this is a long post)

I am on the last leg of my journey back home so I think it's the right time to write up what my experience at purcon 7 was like, as something I can look back on (because it's inevitable that time will fade some details) and maybe as a little guide to many first time congoers next year.

Purcon 7 was the first con for me too.

I met Misha on Friday evening for 'Cocktails with Castiel'. I was at a table with 9 other people and we got to talk to him about 10 minutes. He arrived late of course. Seeing him step into the room was the most surreal feeling, not going to lie. I think up until then my brain hadn't really comprehended properly that the actor man is real. He sat down at the table across the room and for a while my eyes were glued to him in a desperate attemt to make it familiar to my brain as quickly as possible that he existed in this space and was very much real. There were mostly female fans there so even though he was still a couple of tables away from us you could distinctly hear his deep voice amongs all the talk at times and I did cherish that.

I inquired further and it did very much sound like he was talking about my favourite Georgian dish, too. Which tbh almost made me cry on the spot but I pulled thru it to tell him that hearing this made me very happy because I've been watching Roadfood a lot and imagining what it would be like to see Georgian food featured there, even though I know that is highly unlikely since it's not that big of a deal in the US. This made him very sad and he got all 🥺 and apologized that there aren't many Georgian restaurants in US and looked like he was on the verge of crying so I assured him once again that it was fine and he couldn't do anything about it. (Though he had this 'you can see gears turning in his head' expression for a bit so I wouldn't totally exclude seeing Georgian cuisine on Roadfood in the future idk 😂).

When he finally got to our table, he said hi and sat down and our hellos were kinda delayed and everyone stopped talking for a bit (understandable xD) so he took it upon himself to get the conversation flowing and started asking where everyone was from. There were three people from France and they told him about their travel to Germany and how they hadn't had the time to sleep yet. I asked him how long his journey took and he said about 18 hours so I said "okay you win then. Mine was just 12". So he asked where I was from and I said Georgia and right away he asked me "Tbilisi?" [the name of the capital] and not gonna lie, I have huge respect for Misha and I know he is a clever fella but I never expected for him to know the name of the capital by heart and also pronounce it so damn correctly (honestly to this day I have never met a foreigner who doesn't butcher 'Tbilisi'). I was very impressed by this and a bit shocked tbh but I managed to get out 'yeah. Born and raised' so he of course asked what the situation was like in Georgia atm. I said that not that good, like in most places in the world rn. He wanted to know more so I said politically it's been complicated because of the influx of Russians and how the population of my city has grown twice because of that. Then I joked that he should come visit us to restore the balance, tbh I was desperate to keep the conversation flowing, and boy it was worth because the next thing he said was thee most insane thing that I could never have imagined in a thousand years: he told me he has been to Georgia, years ago! 🤯 And how the family he was staying with in Georgia cooked him one of the best meals he has had! in his ENTIRE LIFE!

This was the biggest chunck of out conversation. I know this is not something that will excite the general public here but it was damn special to me personally and I shall forever cherish this lil conversation with him 💗

I did also manage to revel to him that I had only ever seen Supernatural from S4 to the finale, so all his episodes exclusively and he said that was the only right way to watch it 😂

On Saturday I had a photo op with him. It was all very fast paced, so no proper exchange of words but I did get to watch him for a bit because he took a lil break before the person in front of me got their turn. It was very hot in the room so he drank some water, sanitized his hands and took a peppermint. When it was my turn he looked at me and highly likely recognized me from the day before so he winked at me and opened his arms and I just went straight into them and hugged him and he hughed me so so tight!!! 🥺 I was trying to remain respectful but the man wouldn't let me breathe 🤣

On Sunday, I got to ask him a question about the extra poem in Russian edition of his poetry book & we got to argue about the color of my pants 🤣

(thank you so much for this iconic pic, Bex ❤️)

Later I got my art signed. They were rushing the autos because Misha had a flight to catch so he was pretty stressed at autos. I jokely apologized for bringing it to his attention that something had gone 'wrong' with his book in Russian and he said no he was glad that I did bring that up and how he'd have to talk to his publisher about that actually. Asked him if I could give him a gift - a belt buckle. He said sure, so I did and in the rare moment of bravery I said I hoped he'd wear it and then winked at him 🤦‍♀️

I think this pretty much sums up my direct interractions with the actor man over the weekend.

I know M&G and alike are expensive as hell but if you can affort it I would say definitely get them. It's the only time you'll get with him up close and personal. As far as entrance tickets go, I had a weekend ticket for section 3 and for someone with bad eyesight it wasn't the best option, I wish I had been closer to the stage. All in all, if I had to categorize the extras as best to worst it would go like this:

- Cocktails with Castiel

- Photo Op

- Autograph (I believe autos usually give more time to talk to him and it was rushed just this one time because Misha needed to catch a plane)

Also: Yes, this is an 'actor centric' con but you will get to make new friend and finally see your online friends too which tbh makes this whole experience what it is! Shoutout to the wonderful @bexfangirlforlife @blanketforcas @deancrowleycas , I loved spending time with you so much! You made my first con experience very special 💕

[kattythingz]

Ok hihi! I was wondering how you did research on Ling speaking Chinese (?) In your fics! I want to add some stuff with my OCS speaking Chinese in my book but I am not entirely too sure on how to properly conduct research, so I was wondering how you do it? /Genq

Also I love your writing it has such a good flow and you write Ed and Ling so well!

Hi there!! First of all: I'm so flattered you came to me for advice? Idk what that says about my handling of the language but damn if the gesture didn't make me smile.

I worked with Mandarin Chinese for my fic specifically, which in Google translate, that would be Simplified Chinese. But keep in mind there are other dialects to work with, like Cantonese Chinese I believe?

Anyway, first and foremost:

Do NOT rely on Google translate for sentence translations. It served me fine for individual words, but honestly? Even for a simple "fuck" or "shit," I looked at forums and Reddit discussions and such for "authentic" answers from actual Chinese-speaking folks. I found that "local" answers listed some wild things that are common day speaking and Google translate simply doesn't include some of those wild things. Which is a damn shame.

Basic phrases I did the same thing, asking Google "how to say such and such in Chinese" and scrolling down to discussions online. It's how I learned it's apparently common to curse people by using "your mom" as "fuck/fuck you." I had a blast with that one.

What also greatly helped me though was researching basic Chinese grammar for myself. Luckily, the language is surprisingly simple with it having no verb conjugations, and question formations and word placements seem fairly straightforward! So looking into the grammar was a lot less work than I expected and genuinely it was kinda fascinating. I know I definitely got way too into it.

This much attention to detail ofc will eat up time from you. I spent hours longer than intended to verify my sentences as Not Butchering The Language. But it was worth it in the end because I wanted to do the language right, and I wanted to respect it. I'm bilingual myself and I've seen the bullshit Google translate spouts back at you in my language. It's. It's not wrong, but it's also not what people say on a day to say basis, you know? And you want your characters to sound real, not like AIs.

So, FOR EXAMPLE. If you wanna make up a phrase that roughly means, say, "fuck on a dragon's spine..."

My process would be to look up, in order:

The individual words in the sentence, each. So "fuck," "dragon," and "spine." (Via Google translate)

The prepositions, "on" and the possessive in "dragon's." (Via Google search)

Basic sentence structure so you can put it all together. (Google search) (try to specify if you mean a statement sentence or a question or an exclamation, etc)

And then, bonus step, look at similar sentences in the language to gauge if yours sounds legit next to them!

All this wonderful research leads to the sentence of: Cāo zài lóng de jí — 操在龙的脊

It's a lot of work for just one sentence, but languages aren't one and done props for our stories either. The best respect we can give these languages is by researching them properly and putting the time and effort into getting them right. Even if it means spending an hour over one sentence or two.

At least, that's been my work ethic so far about it. I can't speak nor decide for you, but I hope my response inspires that kind of gusto from you too! :)

Thank you for the ask! And good luck with that book!! <3

[tamelee]

Personally I don’t really get people who say they acknowledge Sasuke and Naruto’s romantic bond but still ship Sasuke with a woman… Like, they saw that he was gay (he’s shown to not be attracted to women so he’s not bi) but kinda don’t care?

Actually I don’t really understand the whole shipping culture, or even mainstream fandom culture… I don’t know, I just don’t see the point in just making up content for pre-existing characters while completely destroying what made the characters unique in the first place by ignoring canon entirely (like crack-shipping). I get why people wouldn’t like everything about canon, it’s my case too, but if they don’t like anything about canon… Why are they here in the first place?

Nooo now I sound grumpy. I must be bothering you I’m so sorry 😭😭

Anyway, you’re amazing and I hope you know it 🥰

You don't sound grumpy to me dw 🫶

Well, I don't believe such ships have much to do with Canon either way. And I doubt all of them hate Canon per se, though some change 'Canon' to like Canon, which is funny. "This is my Canon." Yeah, not how it works, but ok- have your Canon your way ofc ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌

Side-note though, I don't think Sasuke even knows who Hinata is? 😆 It's as you say; crack-shipping. (I saw that giant/small-yaoi meme here on Tumblr again. No idea what it's called, and immediately thought; a yes, Sukuna and Levi. Kinda want to draw xD Makes no sense at all.) A lot of Headcanon is derived from personal... ideas/desires/inspiration or self-inserting reasons? (Isn't that exactly what 'x-reader' fics are?) Or even trend-posting. As much as characters are used to tell a story for the original author/creator (they're essentially tools), do fans use them to create new ideas. "Ah yes, we all know this character, let's create something around it simply because I want to." Which is completely fine, right? Look at rare pairs. And to be fair, a lot of content, fictional writing and art aren't even based on canon either. The closest thing through fan-work are Manga analyses or meta's, even panel redraws- stuff like that. People adapt 'canon' into fanwork through various degrees or sometimes ditch it altogether. Nsfw/spice is by default made up and entirely Headcanon :') (Though personality can be depicted in a way ig, through expression/behavior and whatnot.)

I totally get what you mean though, although I guess I'm caught up in fandom-culture now. Personally, I do like characters as 'canon' as possible, but it really depends. For some Animanga I don't really care. I think I ship pretty much all TR/BlueLock-characters for literally no reason, but I wouldn't claim it to be Canon in any way (˚☐˚! )/

However, I don't like it when Naruto and Sasuke's characters are butchered. Made-up context or not. The originals are so special to me and it's the reason why I'm a fan, though I don't mind too much in fics, depending on the story. I find it hard to feel the same when they've practically become someone's OC's with only the same name and design. I can't even read height/age-differences because I can't imagine it xD But anyway, this all includes "official" work made for financial/marketing reasons also- especially those damn novels. Those never have anything to do with canon, nor does it align with it. No matter how passionately people claim otherwise.

I'm only a tiny bit petty about it >< u&me grumpy 🤝 And aahhww I don't actually, you should see me sitting here in giant red Christmas socks and a glittery green sweater that's kinda itchy tbh. I don't really feel anything other than those glitters annoying me every 3 seconds... which reminds me I should change -.- anw thankyou <3

[winterhawkkisses]

Bucky and Clint and a corn maze for the autumn prompt please?

Loving all your stories and shares!

Bucky Barnes was brought up in Brooklyn, and as such had been woefully unprepared for the concept of corn mazes as some kinda competitive sport.

"Swear to God," Clint muttered, shoving his feet into unlaced boots at some ridiculous time in the morning, "if the Butchers win again this year I am going to shove my foot so far up that judge's ass -"

Bucky must've made a sound, or raised an eyebrow, or given off some kinda aura that questioned Clint in this, 'cos Clint whirled on him and pinned him with a crazy-eyed stare.

"Five years," he said, low and fervent. "Five goddamn years of the same Iowa Hawkeyes logo, stalk for goddamn stalk. I have done Steve's shield. I have done a damn circus. I have done the cataclysmic destruction of the Death Star that I had to finish with a scythe -"

"I don't understand that reference," Bucky said, deadpan, and Clint pointed a shaking finger at his chest, opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again and threw his hands in the air, slamming the screen door behind him.

Bucky couldn't help sniggering into his coffee.

It wasn't always so dramatic. Sure, the farm in general, where the pace of the days was generally pretty slow, peace rising up from the ground like the morning mist, but also the run-up to fall and the county fair. Most of it was quieter: Clint groaning happily as Bucky tried out another pie recipe on him, determined to perfect it this year; the daily measurement of a beast of a pumpkin, and Clint's cracked voice singing rock ballads to it every night before bed.

Somehow he'd got it in his head, though, that everything was riding on his corn maze this year. Somehow everything seemed to be hinging on getting it just right, and Clint had strung up a sheet over the back bedroom window so Bucky couldn't jinx it by seeing it too soon.

"Like seeing a bride before the wedding?" Bucky asked, unable to keep the laugh outta his voice, and Clint had twitched and headed hurriedly out to sing Sweet Child Of Mine.

"Hey," Bucky murmured from the porch swing one evening, catching Clint by the belt loops as he paced along the porch and pulling him closer, between his legs. "Hey, Clint, it's gonna be fine. You've got this."

Clint ran his hands through his hair, looking down at Bucky with a weird sort of vulnerability in his eyes.

"You think?"

"I know it," Bucky said, pulling him in closer still, wrapping his arms around Clint's lean hips and resting his cheek against a plaid shirt that still carried the warmth of the late summer sun. "You can do anything you set your mind to."

Clint's hand came up to cup the back of Bucky's head, his callused thumb catching a little as it swept across his hair.

"You know I love you, right?" Clint said, and Bucky couldn't help but smile with it, the way happiness filled him up like there'd always been a space ready for it.

"Sure," he said. "I know."

*

It was the week before the fair when Clint finally seemed to settle. Not completely relaxed, maybe; more like the pause at the top of the rollercoaster, where all the potential's somehow resolved itself into a final moment of calm.

He cornered Bucky in the kitchen, taking the coffee mug out of his metal hand and weaving their fingers together instead.

"It's ready," he said, on a long breath. "You wanna see?"

Bucky couldn't help laughing a little, but followed along gamely enough as Clint dragged him up the stairs, then climbed the precarious ladder into the loft before opening the little window that led out onto a just about perchable part of the roof. Bucky led the way out, bracing himself on the weathercock - which was a good thing, since it gave him something to grab when he finally got a look at the corn maze Clint'd been working on so long.

He'd been expecting the title card for Dog Cops, maybe. Or Iron Man in flight, like Clint'd been promising Tony for at least the last few years. He hadn't expected -

"What d'you think?" Clint asked, just by his ear, and Bucky let out a choked laugh, reaching back to grab Clint's hand.

Most of it was - it had to function as a real maze, if it was gonna win, and the complicated knotwork was gonna make it a bitch to run. Bucky's focus, though, was the center of it all, the way the corn had been cut away to ask the curling cursive question Bucky, marry me?

"Think it'll beat the Hawkeyes?" Clint asked, and Bucky turned to drag him down so he could press their foreheads together, so Clint could be close enough to hear him breathe out a fervent yes.

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

Call Me Maybe

just your local murder beans being pals

Characters: Cylas, Darrell (by @bluecoolr)

Words: 2401

Content warnings: talk about death/hunting/animal death

divider by firefly-graphics

They were solving Sudokus on their phone when a shadow fell over them, making them look up.

“Uh… are you Cylas?” A vaguely familiar voice asked, and she recognised the man from the store. He was taller than she remembered.

“Yeah, yeah. In the flesh”, she replied awkwardly. Sweet baby Jesus, how was she supposed to make it through a whole lunch? If he didn’t walk out on them, he’d at the very least never want to see them again.

It felt like they just stared at each other for hours – though it probably were only a few seconds at most – before he scratched his neck an spoke up again. “Uhm… shall we go inside then?”

“Oh, sure. Of course.” Social interactions were… an experience. But at least he hadn’t commented on or even looked at her scars – which was, albeit refreshing, also kind of odd because even the strangers walking past did. Though that might have been due to her clothes as well.

They went inside and sat down, it luckily wasn’t too crowded, and they managed to find a spot from which she could keep an overview of the place. After settling in, sorting out her skirt and bag, she grabbed her wallet and took out Darrell’s license. “You probably want this back.”

Somehow, they actually managed a smile. Darrell looked at their outstretched hand and actually seemed to blush. “Right, thank you. I hope the picture didn’t shock you too much.”

She involuntarily snorted and he looked away. “Nah, your fine. I look horrible in photographs, for real.”

“Doesn’t everyone say that?” He responded, now smiling as well. Good, he didn’t feel offended. Seemingly.

“I mean, I guess? But, like, if I smile, I look like I’m planning something, just super mischievous.” She said, butchering the pronunciation of the last word and cringing internally. “And when I keep a neutral expression, I look like I’m ready to kill someone, or like I steal the souls of the innocent. Just, blank, dead stare. I don’t have a resting bitch face; I got a resting serial killer face.”

He chuckled though for a second some kind of emotion they couldn’t discern flashed in his eyes. “Got experience with that kinda people, or killing people as a side job?”

Just as they were about to respond a server came to take their order. They stared at the table, trying to hide their embarrassment, while Darrell said they hadn’t decided yet.

“Anyway. No exciting side job, just a nurse in training.” She said with a shrug. “We should probably take a moment to look at the menu though, right?”

“Yep.” He replied. “Get whatever you want, I’m paying.”

She hesitated. “Are you sure? You really don’t have to. It’s no big deal, really.”

He just shook his head at that. “I insist.”

Since it seemed unlikely that they’d be able to change his mind, they instead focused on deciding what to get. There was just too much great looking food. Then their eyes fell on a special lunch offer.

“Oh, check this out.” She said, lying the menu in the middle of the table and leaning over. “They got this thing where you can get two burgers from this section plus big fries and nuggies. Can even make it loaded fries if you want.”

Darrell looked it over and nodded. “Sounds good to me. You want something to drink as well?”

They sat back down, only now realising they had actually said “nuggies” out loud and grateful that he ignored it. Technically, they knew what they wanted to drink, but they were worried what he would think of them. It was so much food already; would a milkshake be too much? They didn’t want him to think she was greedy or only ate junk food.

“Are you okay?” He asked, some degree of worry in his voice. “If you’re not hungry, that’s fine too.”

“No no, that’s not it.” She hastily interrupted him. “I just don’t want to be… too much?”

He furrowed his brows. “If you’re worried about the money-”

“I’m not-” They started, only to flinch at their volume. Calm down. No need to get all worked up. “It’s not… the money. I just- I feel bad if I, like, eat more than the people I’m with, if that makes sense? Sorry, it’s kinda stupid.”

He looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out whether she was being honest. “That’s not stupid at all. Just say what you want and I’ll get the same? There isn't really anything here I don’t like.”

They fixed their gaze onto their hands resting on the table. “Uh… strawberry milkshake? Or cola, that’s fine too.”

Just then, the server came back. Darrell ordered, and they couldn’t help but notice that although he ordered a milkshake for himself, he didn’t specify a flavour. “You a regular here or something?”

“Huh?” He turned his attention back to her, having just been exchanging glances with some red-haired person working in the back.

“Oh, sorry. You’re not a mind-reader.” They said, once again cringing at their word choice. Brain to mouth filter who? “I was wondering if you knew people here? Cause you didn’t specify your milkshake. But I guess it’d make sense. You live around here, right?”

He shot her a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’ve got a friend working here. And I do live on Devil’s Peak.”

“Living on Devil’s Peak and working in the actual hell that is customer service.” They said with a grin.

“Well, gotta do what you gotta do.” He replied. “It’s not that bad, usually. Though I’ve heard quite unpleasant stories from co-workers. They think it’s cause of my height that fewer people want to mess with me.”

“Sounds fair.” They replied. “I certainly don’t have that kinda privilege.”

“Apologies if this is too intrusive, but that did sound somewhat… down? Everything alright?”

She shrugged, though her smile did retain some bitterness. “Ah, well. Not many take me seriously, I’m not seen as an authority figure. Luckily, in the ER, people who actually need urgent help don’t care much about height or hair colour and are more looking for someone in scrubs.”

“Damn, that probably sounded cold hearted.” She immediately added. “I don’t appreciate people being hurt or in pain. I’d rather be treated like a child for the rest of my life if it meant no one ever had to be in pain again. Well, good people at least.”

“Don’t worry, I get it. Didn’t think you were implying that you love wallowing in people’s suffering.”

The food arrived and they were grateful for the distraction. Their talent to turn every conversation depressing was amazing.

“Borger and nuggies.” She whispered under her breath – or so she thought, but Darrell seemed to have somehow heard it anyway and chuckled. “Lotsa nuggies even.”

She watched him cautiously, trying to determine whether he was mocking her or not, but all they could pick up was a playful twinkle in his eyes. “Indeed. Do you think the devil likes nuggies? Or the skinwalkers?”

He grinned back at her. “Not sure, but I think the hogs would. Then again, they’ll eat pretty much anything.”

"Wait, are you telling me there are no cryptids up there? Only wild piggies?” They said, putting their food down to raise their hand to their chest in an exaggerated shock gesture.

“I mean, I’ve lived there for a while and haven’t seen any, only the hogs. They’re almost like pets to me if I’m honest.”

She choked on her drink. “Pets? Don’t they, like, kill people and eat them?”

Darrell shrugged, looking completely unbothered. “If people intrude on their territory it can happen. But overall, they’re really sweet little things who won't do no harm to no one. Aside from my sweet potatoes.”

“You grow sweet potatoes?” They asked, suddenly excited. “That’s so cool. I love love love gardening, and luckily the cats don’t care much for my garden.”

Both of them were through their burgers and half the fries in record time but hardly even noticed, too invested in their now more light-hearted conversation. Cylas was almost bouncing in their seat. “You gotta share some of the potatoes with me once their ready, okay? I’ll trade you for… I don’t know, tomatoes? Herbs? I got all kinds of stuff. Oh, I’ve always wanted to make something like sweet potato fries but then I forget when I’m grocery shopping.”

“Sure thing, if I get them to survive the hogs.” Darrell replied, seeming equally excited. “And you don’t have to trade, though I won’t complain if you wanna share.”

“Man-eating hogs – the ultimate danger to gardening endeavours on Devil’s Peak. Who even cares about skinwalkers? People have to focus on the actually important things in life!” She added dramatically, and maybe a little too exuberant since she suddenly felt the tell-tale tingle of being watched.

They looked up to see the red-haired person again, gaze fixed on them this time. She kept the eye contact, until the other person turned away. Whatever that was about. When she returned her attention to Darrell, he was watching her, expression unreadable.

“Anyway,” They attempted to return to the conversation. “Any plans on how to keep your pets away? I suppose you’ve tried stuff like a fence before?”

His expression changed back to a genuine smile. “Yeah, tried pretty much everything I could find. Fences can’t stop them; they just tear them down and either avoid me for days or glare. How come your cats aren’t interested though? Don’t they like to cause mischief?”

“Oh, they sure like to be chaotic little fuckers. Just not fond of the outsides. They’re indoor cats, always have been. I prefer it that way, they can’t cause any damage to local wildlife, and I don’t gotta worried about them being hit by a car, ingesting something poisonous, or possibly even be shot.”

“Shot?” Darrell said, somewhere between shock and disbelief. Cylas gave a half-shrug. “Yeah. I mean, people can be quite awful in general and there has recently been a lady who was straight up killing people’s pets, though mostly by poisoning or capturing and drowning them. But there’s always a chance of cats or dogs being mistaken for something else and shot on accident.”

“Ah, well, guess that kind of makes sense. I can’t stand people like that, who abuse animals. Really aren’t worth the air they’re breathing.” He commented, a hint of anger in his voice. “Sometimes people come up to the peak just to hunt the hogs. Or skinwalkers. Whichever it is, I don’t mind them being eaten. If those guys fail to kill the animal it usually comes down to me to put the poor thing out of its misery, if I even manage to find it. And even though in those cases it’s for a ‘good’ cause I still hate killing them.”

“I can imagine. I hate hunters who do it without necessity. Especially if it only leads to animals suffering.” She shook her head. “People like that deserve what’s coming for them.”

He looked at her with a surprisingly gentle expression that she couldn’t quite interpret. “You really don’t mind the hogs?”

“No, why would I?”

“Well, they are dangerous.” He said. “They do hurt people.”

They shrugged. “To be completely honest, anyone dumb enough to run off into woods known for people going missing or getting hurt there kinda just has it coming. In my opinion. Play stupid games, win stupid prices or something.”

“Yeah, I agree.” He replied, before his gaze landed on the empty chicken nugget plate.

“Oh, no more nuggies.” Cylas said. “On that note, when does your break end anyway? You’re not late or anything, right?”

He checked the time. “No, not yet, though I should probably get going. After I paid.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay at least part of it?” They tried again but he just shook his head. “I got it. I invited you, remember.”

They sighed. And then, with a confidence they didn’t know they possessed, they said: “Alright, alright. Can I at least give you my phone number? I actually don’t use Instagram that often. And if you’re not comfortable with me having your number you don’t gotta text me.”

“Uhm, sure.” He said, looking somewhat surprised. “Just… put your contact into my phone, I guess? Seems the easiest way.”

“Yep. You wanna save yours in mine as well, or rather not?”

“Nah, it’s fine, I’ll do it. Fair is fair.”

They exchanged numbers and Cylas waited for him to pay, before both got up and left the diner. While walking towards the door she felt eyes following her again but she didn’t bother to check.

Outside the diner, Darrell and her stood awkwardly next to each other, until she decided to break the silence. “I guess this is the point where I say goodbye, then?”

As she had hoped, it made Darrell chuckle and broke the tension. “I suppose so. Got anything excited planned for the rest of the day?”

“Nope. Checking on my plants, hanging out with the cats. The usual.” They replied. “Guess you’ll be working a couple more hours?”

“Exactly.” He said.

She gave him a half-teasing, half-sympathetic smile. “Well, then… calm rest of your shift? May you not encounter any annoying customers?”

“Thanks. Uh… do you just… want to leave now? Do we hug?” Darrell managed to get out, despite severely blushing.

“Oh, sure.” They replied, standing on their tippy-toes in order to even reach him. “I love hugs. Thanks for asking.”

His arms basically completely engulfed them, and they couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re a giant in comparison to me.”

In response, he only blushed even harder.

“Sorry, I’m just teasing. Have a nice rest of your shift for real, don’t let me keep you any longer. Don’t want you to get into trouble just cause of me.” Cylas said, still grinning up at him.

He rubbed his neck, struggling to meet her eyes. “Yeah, thanks again. Guess I’ll see you around?”

“Or text me when you arrive at the station safely. Bikes like that are dangerous.”

“I’ll be careful.”

“You better.” She said before turning away to go to her car.

This had been decidedly more fun than expected, and she was almost glad that he had lost his driver’s license.

to be tagged or not to be tagged, that is the question:

@rottent33th @slaasherslut @cries-in-latino @kalid-raven @angxlslasher @the-pinstriped-hood

[gayspock]

ok im lbing this bc we're not gonna get more for a long time

ok initial thoughts: zombies by the cranberries sent me a little loopy. im sorry. its a heartbreaking song, its a heartbreaking scene. but playing those both together is the funniest fucking thing you could do ever. heavens

second thoughts: i know there was a lotof, like, backlash abt the last ep regarding the present day girlies "giving in to lottie so easily" so its funny to see them ppl owned so early. LOL. although this cant end well and i have already been spoiled and i will say i saw that coming sort of but thought "no they wouldnt do that... tht sucks" but anyways

THIRD thoughts and last time im gonna open a thought with that: literally i said all that, but i know last week ppl also complaine saying they didnt "explain the game well enough" which i thought was stupid bc if they sat there and did thatd be clunky and dumb and ruin the horror of it so now misty is just exposition dumping to lottie im like for gods sake. and in some ways i do kinda get what theyre trying to do with it (misty would be frank about it and clear and etc) but i still think its just a bit alrighhttt alrighttt to watch

this is making me feel sick...

SHAUNA BEING THE DESIGNATED BUTCHER TOO... heavens and a bit.

TH

NOT THE DESIGNATED T...

this is so fucking crazy

HER COVERING HER EYES. I AM SICK. YOU KNOW WHEN THE WET, BIG BROWN PUPPY DOG EYES ARE GONE THE WORLD IS DARK AND CRUEL

ok but seeing trav crying over havi like that . meanwhile shauna was fucking sobbing with jackies corpse holding it for months. everything in the world mental

UGHHH FUCKING WALTERRRRR

SORRY IVE MADE MY FEELINGS CLEAR. I DO NOT LIKE HIS FUNCTION AS A CHARACTER. I THINK MISTY'S ARC WOULD BE SO MUCH FUCKING STRONGER WITHOUT HIM. GET MORE CREATIVE. YOU DONT NEED HIM . and its like hes not bad hes fine but its so annoying that they give him more FUCKING ATTENTION THAN FUCKING NAT AT THIS POINT

plus her dynamic with nat is so much better

i love adult shauna scheming. always gets them into a bit of a pickle. classic!

COACH BEN COMING BACK TO STIUATIONS IS FUCKING UNFATHOMABLY F- NATALIE WHAT HAPPENED

I FIGURED OUT WHERE HAVI WAS HIDING

DOES ANYONE HEAR HIM

YOURE N

I FEEL SICK

his little gorgeous babygirl tear.

coach ben your gay ass needs to move fast before the second most homophobic fast food chain after chick fil a opens up in the canadian wilderness with a limited menu of #1 fucking d

FUCK OFF ELIJAH WOODFUCK OFF KEVYN THIS IS SICK. UGHHHH YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST.

UGH

THIS WHOLE CONVO IS SO BORING IM ASLEEP WORST GUYS IN THE WORLD FUCK OFF THERES NO WAY WE'RE WASTING TIME ON THESE GUYS WHEN THERE'S LITERAL GIRLS EATING GIRLS

"A COVEN OF THEM ALL UP TO NO GOOD" OK that kinda ruled

JEFF WIN JEFF WIN JEFF WIN HIS BIGGG JEFFING COCK FUCKING RULES . NO JEFFING ABOUT.

YOU KILLED HIM?

OKAY jeff is raising the bar here im happy with jeff and walter jeffing and waltering and jaltering and weffing

is weffing something sexual it sounds sexual i hope to god not

shauna is so mother making a meal for the family 😊

THE WOBBLY HEART . MY GOD. DONT- DONT GIVE IT TO TRAVIS. DONT FUCKING LOOK AT HIM WITH THE WOBBLY HEART. COME ON BRO.

hes

um

raw.....

this is a little um

god the crazy parallels of lottie in the past fucking ruined over the ritual and lottie of the present being the most caught up in it. hellaur

IF YOU MAKE CALLIE DEAL WITH THAT ROTTEN COP I'LL KILL US ALL

SHAUNA DRAWING THE CARD?

"IT WAS JUST US!" "is there a difference?" EXACTLY. SAY THAT AT THE FUCKING C- SORRY BUT THEIR SLOW ASS RUNNING MADE ME LOSE IT

TH

THE TRUNK OF THE FUCKING CAR HELP THATS SO FUNNYYYY KEVYNNNNNN

CALLIE WITH A GUN

HI... OK. BUT THE ... OK IS ANYONE GOING CRAZY RIGHT NOW

i mean other than the girlies in animal masks in th e woods

lottie: everybo-

SHUT UP ITS CRAZY EVERY TIME THEY CUT FROM A FUTURE SCENE TO A PAST SCENE I GO STUPID IN THE HEAD

lottie: can you fucking kill me

lottie: can you fucking kill me and can i also elect the next girl president

ANTLER QUEEN?

NATALIE?

YOU MAKE ME SICK

YOU MAKE ME SICK THERES NOWAYYYYYYY

NATALIE NO MY SEET SWEETBABYGIRL

HEY

HI

AND HELLO

LISA....

LISA. NO. SURELY NOT.

OH MY GOD

NATALIE YOU ARE SO....

the nattielot stocks are literall crazy the nattielot stocks are literally in turmoil its like a rollercoaster its literally a thrillride they blow your brain right out up and down and round and round til your FUCKING BRAIN COMES OUT YOUR NOSE AS DINNER SURPRISE

travis......................

my god natalie atalie no NA QUEEN CA RD QU

NM

M

M

M

M

M

HI AND HELLO AND HI

SORRY . THATS TISTE DTHIS IS TWISTED THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER IM ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS EVERYBODY VETTER FUCKING KILL

STOP PLAYING RADIOHEAD AND SLOWMOING HER FUCKING DEATH IS THERE NO FUCKING DIGNIT

NO THIS IS

YOU ALL.... ARE THE WORST.....

I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING EXISTENCE

ITS NOT EVIL ITS JUST HU

THE NATLOTTIE STOCKS JUST BURST

I FEEL ILL I HATE MY ST- NOT THE DRUG OVERDOSE. COME ON . I JSUT WANT TO FUCKING CRY THIS ALL FUCKING SUCCKS.

walter: um...... >_<

you guys fucking suck sending her there i know i know theres so few options but fu- VAN. PUT THOSE BIG WET EYES AWAY. PUT THAT AWE-INDUCED WET SMILE AWAY. COME ON GIRL. PULL IT TOGETHER

hey shauna

most normal girl in the world

coach ben said FUCK women. WOW. ALRIGHT. i mean it was... RIGHT LIKE HE?

HE SERIOUSLY JUST DECIDED FUCK THESE GIRLS OH MY GOD YES TYHIS IS THE FUCKING ENDING I WANTED

van being the last out vantler queen when?

THIS IS FUCKING NUTS

altrnateively the wilderness being like :/ you didnt need to do that to havi guys....

ANYWAYS GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

[gegewrites]

mr.whites daughter  10- slipping

Jesses pov-

I pulled into the gas station, RV needed gas. I got out and went to the pump, it was one of those old ones where you pump it and pay after. So I filled the tank. "70.79." The girl said and I looked in my wallet,"ATM is outside." "I don't have a card."  I shrugged my shoulders. "A check will work." She smiled. "I'm kinda...in between banks right now." I shrugged and out ky wallet back in my pocket,"any chance I could...come back later? I'll pay." "Usally I would say yea, but my dad, he looks at he receipts everyday." I nodded and reached into mh pocket. "How about some of this? A trade?" Well she ended up taking it and I was outta there. What I didn't like was that she only took it when the cops came in and were close, they didn't say anything though, and I so left.

Your pov-

"Remember you're in pain." Saul said walking the clients out,"oh and I'm also putting together a flight 851 suit, so if you or anybody you know has been anxious, can't sleep, send them over!" Mike walked past him and into the room and held up the recorder. "Let's listen to it." I sighed and got up from the couch. I took a seat in front of sauls desk and Mike sat next to me a played it. Immediately all I heard was yelling. "Jesus Christ." I muttered. "Mm." Mike hummed and then we heard a loud mechanic sound,"garbage disposal." "You can Fuck Ted, hell, fuck the butcher, the mail man, even the librarian for all I care!" My dad yelled. "Oh my god." I put my hand over my mouth. "Is this a problem for us?" "Ted benake...screwing my wife, well screw this Ted!" My dad yelled. "A big one." "He's going to benakes." I muttered,"Mike." "I'm on it." He groaned getting uo from his seat and Pat my shoulder,"hate how you had to hear that." "It's all good." I nodded and inhaled through my teeth.

About..20 minutes later, my dad was being walked into the room by Mike and being sat down on the couch. "What the hell was that?" Saul asked vetting up from his seat,"you could've been arrested!" "She's Fuckin Ted." "Okay?! And?! My first ex wife screwed my step dad and I didn't attack him!" Saul walked over. "You work here now?" My dad asked, looking over at me. "You need to get ur shit together." I said and stood up,"look, we, Jesse, you and I. We need to start cooking again.  Alright?" "This is a great opportunity!" Saul added. "How-how did you know where to find me?" My dad got up. "That's-that's not what important. The important thing is that we found you!" Saul said as my dad fot close to him, I took a step back. "You bugged my house." My dad said in a grave tone. "Not ur house, you moved out!" Saul argued,"you practically told me to!" "When?!" "When you said you were worried she would've said something? And look! She didn't!" I snaked away from sauls desk and over to the couch where Mike was sitting and sat down next to him. By that time mh dad already attacked Saul, I went to stand up but Mike pulled me down by my shoulder and nodded at me. He gave Walter a few more seconds of attacking Saul before he got up and grabbed Walter. "You are fired!" My dad yelled Stumbling backwards,"you are fired!" "Fine by me Asshole! You just bought urself a 300 dollar suit!" Saul yelled from the floor by his desk as Mike escorted my dad out. I just looked at the door as Mike walked back over. "I'm-im so sorry." I stood up from the couch as he pushed Mike away and got into his chair at his desk,"holy shit." "He is...insane." Saul exhaled. "He's unstable." Mike stated,"there's a difference." "Is there really?" Saul asked and Mike nodded. "I'm going to go get those bugs removed." Mike sighed,"while I'm gone, man up."

Jesses pov-

I watched as mr.white came out of the school, holding a box in his hands. I honked my horn and he came over. "Yo." I said as he out that box on top of my car,"you get fired?" "It's more like a...sabbatical." He shrugged,"indefinite but ya know." He opened the door and got in. "Should we like..Go somewhere else?" I looked in the parking lot and back at him. "No, no here is good." He nodded. "Alright, so, since you're...well look, I need to get in contact with that guy Saul hooked you up with." I said. "Why don't you just ask (y/n)? She works there." I nodded. "I couldn't get in contact with her." I admitted,"look man, we need to cook, alright?" "You don't need to." He looked over At me. "It's the only thing I'm good at." I admitted. "We'll what about your sobriety?" I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm never using again, alright? I wanna get back into the business." "I don't." He shook his head. "No no, I know." I reached into the back seat and grabbed the duffle bag with the few pounds I made,"I don't need you to cook, alright? I just need to get in touch with ur guy." "What is this?" He pulled out a pound, ignoring the fact we are in a school parking lot,"this is shit." "Man-" "You want to sell my product?" He furrowed his brows at me. "I was gonna cut you in." I was taken back by this asshole. "You don't cut me in, I cut you in. This is my product, my formula, and my chemistry." I grabbed onto the steer wheel and ran my hand through my hair "Can you just set up the meeting?" "This isn't right, he won't take it. The color is terrible, it's cloudy which means you had a problem with distillation process. I'm honestly sorry for you." He chuckled. "Are you shitting me? I've already sold a ton of it, people say it's the bomb." I shook my head at him and he scoffed. "Who? Meth beads?" "Ya and they would know right?!" I took the bag from him and put it into the back seat,"ya know what, get the fuck out, I'll go handle this shit myself." "Sounds good to me." He smiled as he got out,"you're not getting anywhere with out me though." "Fuckin eat me!" I yelled. "Seems like my daughter already has." He smiled. "Fuck you!" I shook my head and drove away. "Jesse! Jesse!" I heard him yell and then I heard something fall off my roof.  Oh shit, the box. I laughed as I looked at him in the rear view. "Fuck you."

I opened the door to sauls office and stood there until he was done with his phone call. "Alright, alright. I'll see you there tomorrow...you as well." He hung up, I saw a stack of files be taken off his desk from behind it where he sat. Not his hands, no (y/n)s. "Yo." I closed the door, I saw (y/n)s head pop up from behind the desk. "Oh hey." She smiled. "You're business partner, he's insane." Saul said as (y/n) stood up,"you're not getting-" I grabbed a pound from my duffle and dropped it on his desk. "You made that?" (y/n) asked, picking it up. "Don't need your dad for shit." I smiled as she  admired the bag. "Cloudy but you'll get there." She shrugged. "I want a meeting with the guy." I said,"can you get me in touch?" "If you're getting in touch with him again, then I want in." (y/n) put the crystal down on the desk and crossed her arms,"coukd also get in contact with some other guys, pay good price for p2p style." "I can definitely get in touch with him." Saul nodded,"definitely." "Who's your guy?" I put the crystal back in the bag. "Some biker guys. Like the old school style, pay 65 large for a pound of glass grade blue." She smiled and I bit my tongue and nodded. "How early can you sell a pound?" I raised my brow. "I can probably catch them at the bar before last call tonight." I took a pound bavk out and handed it to her. "Sell it." She nodded,"35 each." "Sounds only fair." "Woah woah, don't I get a cut? Consider it fee for getting you in touch with your guy." Saul suggested. "32 large to Jesse and I, 6 k for you, you didn't make it, and you're not the one selling it." (y/n) said and he nodded. "Sounds good." "Alright so you're getting me that guy?" I asked. "I gotta make some phone calls but ya." Saul smiled. "That 6 k isn't touching ur hands until I hear his voice though." I shook my head at him and (y/n) chuckled. "That does sound fair I gotta say,"and then she gave me a look,"but..." "Yeah?" "Never mind, we can talk about that later. Look um," she walked away from the desk and over to the couch where he purse was and out the crystal onto it,"I'm gonna get this sold today, and I'll bring your half to your place, alright?" "Ya sure sounds good." I nodded, something about her seemed off? A little stand offish? Maybe it was just the fact she was at work but still, nudged me the wrong way. "I will call you when I get a notice from the guy. For the mean time, keep that," Saul pointed at the bag,"secure and ready to sell." "You bet." I nodded and looked at (y/n) as she walked back, and leaned against the side of the desk,"I'll catch you later?" "You bet." She smiled, I nodded and with that I left.

Your pov-

I closed my door of my car and looked at the bar in front of me. It was 8:30pm, I Haven't been in here since I got...clean. I locked my car and started walking towards the brick walled, orang lit, bar. A heard men talking outside, and smelled cigarettes and exhaust. "Hey girlie!" I heard a man yell, I ignored him as I pushed the doors open. Immediately, at the back, by a private booth. I saw my guys. I didn't look like I belonged here. I was in my usual work attired, a pencil skirt, a button up and heels. "Raul." I said as I made it to the four guys,"boys." "Holy hell." Raul chuckled as I grabbed the curtain and pulled it closed, it was a private booth,"what are you doing now?" "I'm Saul Goodmans assistant." I admitted and took a seat next to him. Raul was big, 6'5, broad shoulder stature, had a head of grey hair and a long beard, he was an old fashion, Harley ridin, son of a bitch. His guys, normal average bikers, I wasn't here for them. "Are you shittin me?" He chuckled and I shook my head. "No, but." I put my purse on the table and pointed at it, he took a look inside,"I need to sell this and quick." He took it out and looked at it,"it's not as clear as the last batch, but it still the same product." "Alright, I can make it past that, how much?" He raised his brow. "Was hoping we could work out the same deal as last time?" I smiled and he chuckled. "You hope? Honey, do you know how fast this crystal sold?" He put his arm over my shoulder,"let's go out back." "I'm not going unless I'm getting 65 large." I raised my brow. "65 large?" I nodded,"lucky for you, I still for cash in my car from a deal I haven't yet deposited." "Then let's go get that then, shall we?" I smiled as I slid out of the booth. I grabbed my purse as he shoved the crystal into the side pocket of his vest. "You three, stay here." He told them as I moved the curtain back,"well make this quick, I can tell you're not living the same life as a few months ago." "I got clean." I smiled as we walked past the pool tables. "Those eyes bags you're hidin with makeup tell me otherwise though." I've known Raul since I was 20, I've met this guys wife, I know his kids, and his grandkids. "Slipped a bit, it's fine." I brushed it off, he opened and held the door for me as we walked out. "When?" We corner the bar, I could see his El Camino by his buddies bikes, a super chopper, and two Fatboy's. I sighed, not wanting to admit but I did. "This morning, and yesterday...and last weekend." We stopped walking and he grabbed the keys for his car out of his pocket "So it was more then just a slip." He unlocked his trunk,"that's why you wanna sell it quick. So you're not holding it." "I've got this and the little bit I have at my house, I just needa sell this pound." He popped the trunk and grabbed a duffle bag. "What happened?" He unzipped it and started taking out some rolls, 10k rolls. "Family drama." I leaned against his car,"I don't even know where to start and I honestly don't even care anymore." I heard him grab another bag and start putting the cash into it. "Cared enough to relapse." Raul was an ex meth head, got clean ages ago, yet he still likes to sell what he can get his hands on. He's still in the game, just not playing the game. "Sadly." I heard the bag zip up and he held it to me and I took it. I leaned off his car as he closed the trunk and locked it,"chances are, I'll drop half of this cash off to my partner, go home, smoke some, and...wake up the next morning and go on acting like I'm not screwing my boss and ruining my relationship with my...boyfriend? I don't even know what we are." "You're screwing Saul Goodman?" He crossed his arms and k nodded,"I'd have to smoke some to to get through that." "He's surprisingly good." I smiled,"look, thank you, I'll in touch sometime, my partner is trying to get in contact with a guy, so I'll keep you updated." "Sounds good." I started to walk away and he spoke,"hey," I turned around,"keep at it." "I'll try."

Jesses pov-

It was 10 when I heard someone knocking at my door. I wasn't expecting anyone, (y/n) said she would call, but I could only assume she didn't and was here now. I got out of bed throwing on my shirt that sat on the end of my bed and made my way downstairs. I heard another three knocks at the door when I finally made ot to the living room. I unlocked the door and saw the business women herself in front of me. "Your half, like promised." She held a duffle bag to me and I took it, she was still in her work clothes and had her purse in her hand. "I didn't actually think you'd make it tonight." I scratched the back of my head and yawned,"thought you'd be changed." "No, i uh, I went home to separate it all, but I left right after to bring your half over." I nodded. "You wanna come in?" I pointed behind me. "No, I should probably be going." She smiled. "Are we good?" I asked and she cocked her head a bit,"we haven't really spoken in awhile." "I've been busy." She laughed lightly,"I don't really know what's happening, family shit." "Wanna talk about it?" She sighed and hit her lip. "I really just need to get home." "You get closed off like this when your using." I pointed out,"those few months after tuco, you barely called, we barely talked, you only showed up for your cut and give us our cuts." I tossed the duffle next to me by the front window. "That's not-" "If you're using can you just tell me? Please." I crossed my arms and leaned on the door frame,"I think I deserve that at least." "Deserve?" She crossed her arms. "Yes, I do, I deserve to know." I pressed,"I just wanna know, yes or no." "Yes." She stated with a nod,"since last weekend." "Alright." I nodded and Inhaled,"so this morning when k called?" "First time you called I was at sauls house, second time I was at home." She shrugged,"I smoked some during the weekend, stopped, then I smoked yesterday and then today. Smoked before k came her too if you'd like to know." "Okay." I nodded,"so meth?" "Yeah." She spoke in a whisper and nodded. "Do me a favor," I pursed my lips together,"just come inside." "Why? I fucked Saul this morning, I don't think you want something that's used." I rolled my eyes. "I don't care about that, I only care about you." I stood up off the frame. "Did you get furniture?" She raised her brow. "Not a lot, but, new bed needs some breaking in?" I shrugged my shoulders and she laughed. "You think I'm just what...a booty call?" She scoffed. "No, no, not at all." I shook my head,"I want you back." "No, you want pussy." She laughed. "Yo Are you fuckin with me or somethin?" I was honestly confused at why she was acting like this,"I want you, that's what I want okay? Do you need me to spell it out? I want you (y/n), y-o-u, you. I want you." "Yes, I'm fucking with you." She walked past me into my house,"and if I'm honest, all I could think about while going down on Saul last night and this morning was you." I closed the door and locker it  and she put her purse down on the couch. "Really?" I asked walking over towards her. She nodded and kicked off her heals. "Oh yeah." She giggled and looked at me with a smile,"you gonna take me to ur bedroom Jesse?" "Fuck ya I am, are you kidding me?"

Your pov-

The minute, I got onto jesses lap, his fingers were already making do of my shirt. His lips moved flawlessly with mine, following the speed I set and everything. He tugged my shirt out of my skirt snd then pinch my bra clip and I took both pieces off of me, throwing them into his room. "Good boy." I whispered on his lips as he unzipped the back of my skirt. He stood up and I slid off his lap as he broke the kiss. He quickly pulled down my skirt snd my panties, getting onto his knees as he did it. I couldn't help it, my hand sat on top of his head, carding my fingers through his hair. I kicked the clothing away as he kissed up my thigh, my hips, my stomach, my ribs, placing some extra love at each of my boobs before his lips made a pass over my neck. He pushed me down onto the bed and took his shirt off. "Jesse." I moaned, biting my lip, seeing how hard he was in his boxers.  I've been dying for this for awhile now I had to admit, kept me up some nights just thinking about him. I usally hated sex that started quick but right now, I wanted it. He took his boxers off, snd pushed my legs apart. He grabbed onto the back of my knees and pulled me forward making me gasp. "You are so Fuckin hot."

I woke up at some point in the early morning, like 4 am? The sex from last night lingered on my body more then I thought it would. I rolled over onto my back and saw him sleeping on his stomach with his head on his arms that were wrapped around his pillow. I sat up and slowly got out of bed looking back to make sure he didn't wake up. Personally, I didn't wanna be here when he woke up. It wasn't that I didn't want to wake up next to him, to be able to look into his beautiful blue morning eyes, hear that sweet and low sounding good morning, feeling his arm wrapped around my waist. I did, trust me I did. I felt guilty. Jesse was clean, and I, was relapsing, slowly but surely I was making my way down that hill I climbed up on. I stood off the bed and walked around it and grabbed my clothes off his floor. I put them on the edge of his bed as I stepped into my panties, I kept my eyes on him the whole time, I didn't want him to wake up. I kept praying in my mind that he wouldn't, but whatever god was listening acted against that, because as I looked away for a second to step into my skirt I heard him. "(y/n)?" He groaned as he looked over his shoulder, his eyes half open as his mind halfway alseep,"what are you doin?" "Leaving." I whispered. "Why?" He rolled into his back and sat up, he rubbed his face as I zipped up the back of my skirt. "I have to get back home." In his sleep-hazed state he grabbed my shirt and flung it across the room and laid back down on his back,"Jesse." "Get back in bed." He groaned,"come on, please?" "Jesse I have to go." I yawned walking over to where he threw my shirt. "No you don't. You-you just wanna leave so I don't see you go out and relapse." He yawned and I heard him get out of bed. When I turned around, he was standing behind me, his thumbs fixing the band of his boxers,"just come back to bed, alright?" "Jess." I shook my head as his hands came up and started sliding my shirt off of me. "Get out of these, put my shirt on, and get ur ass to bed." He spoke in a firm yet loving, but also tired voice,"cause if you don't, I have no problem doing it myself." His hands sat on my waist as he turned me around, I get his chin on my shoulder and his hands coming down to unzip my skirt. "Just go back-" "I'm not going to sleep unless I know you're in my bed (y/n)." I finally gave up and slid my skirt down my legs and stepped out of it. I unclipped my bra and he handed me the black shirt he was wearing when I came over,"I'll Be in bed." I slipped it on as he for back into bed, he laid in his back and I crawled my way back into bed, getting under the covers as I laid down onto his chest, his arms wrapped around me, one on my waist and one on the back of my head in my hair. "Goodnight." He whispered. "I think you mean-" he cut me off right away. "Goodnight bitch, go to sleep."

[distant-utopia]

• Log #001: Red's Backstory - 1

ーーーーー

It was on a certain winter day, just a few days after new year, when a new life came to this small house I used to love.

"Waaah... Waaahhh..."

"It's a boy, Grace!"

"A baby boy! Really?!"

A pair of warm hands handled me. My cries were accepted by laughters and happiness. My existence was something my parents, Alan and Grace Collins, expected so much. My grandmother was also there. Tears of joy were also running on her cheeks since I was also her first grandson. My mother didn't go to a hospital during her labor. It still went well though, thanks to the competent local midwife who helped her.

"Oh... Alan, look! He is so cute... Our son! This is our son!" Mom sounded so happy. She kept caressing my face as she held me close. Dad also smiled non-stop. He couldn't hide his happiness too. Well, I heard Dad wasn't a really expressive man. But, the day of my birth was one of the days when he smiled a lot.

"Yes... What should we name him?" Dad asked.

"Didn't you prepare a name, already?" Mom asked him back.

"Well, uhm... In case, you want to name him something else..." he retorted poorly. Mom laughed.

"What do you mean? Of course I want him to be named with the name you give!" she continued with a small chuckle.

"O-okay... Ahem." Dad cleared his throat, acting a bit nervously.

"Flynn. It is the name I prepared."

"Flynn?!" Mom responded in awe. "That's a beautiful name!"

"I think so too." Granny chimed in.

"Alright then, my son." Dad caressed my head gently. "From now on, you will be Flynn."

"Welcome to this world, my dear."

* * *

I don't think there is anything remarkable about me growing up. I grew up normally, just like other boys. It's just... I guess, Mom kinda... loved me excessively. I didn't feel annoyed with her attention. It was just how she was. Mom was an energetic, perky woman who never ran out of energy. She would tag me in everything she did. She would brag about how much she loved me to everyone she came across. Mom also had an affinity with animals. When she had no one to talk... she would talk to those animals. Strangely, they seemed to understand her. Maybe my mother was weird, but she was loved by everyone. Dad also loved her very, very much.

I guess Mom kinda spoiled me, but somehow it didn't turn me into a brat. Somehow, I think I was kinda exasperated with how my mom acted too... but, maybe, I was a bit different. As a toddler, I was very quiet. It was not like I have speech problem. I was normal. I simply didn't like talking, because Mom used to do it all the time. Well, since it didn't really hinder me, my parents let it be. I still could play with other kids just fine. I was only very quiet.

What else was there...? Hmm... I think, most adult said I was intelligent. I could count when I was barely one year old. I also had good comprehension. I could read before I turned four. I was quite complacent, placid, and easy to deal with. Somehow, other children listened to me too. I was an only child, but my presence was like their older brother. Although, we were on the same age. I was closer to Mom, but Dad also cared to me despite being busy with his job. I learned a lot about being disciplined and responsible from Dad, because Mom was very carefree. Dad said a man should keep his words and being faithful. They also should be strong so they could protect their family. Everytime Dad told me that, he would hold my small hand. We walked together around the village while watching the sunset. I knew he was tired from his job. But, he was always so happy to see me as if his fatigue was gone just from seeing my face.

Despite that, I also had my shortcomings. I was very, very bad with arts and crafts. My drawing was so bad. My friends would laugh at that, and I always went home crying. Dad also tried to teach me how to make simple wooden handicrafts. Yet, I always butchered them so badly. I was also short and small. And my face was rather... cute. Uhm, maybe it still IS, but it's not something I like to admit, okay? If my hair grew a bit longer than usual, I would be mistaken as a girl. That's why I always cut it very short. Just like how Dad had his haircut.

I never get bullied due to my stature, thankfully. I guess that's because my friends respected me. It's like how they would respect their older brother. Back then, I didn't have a lot of birthday parties. But when my parents held one for me, my friends would always come. We had so much fun when the days were simpler.

* * *

Aside from my parents, I was also close to my grandmother. Granny cherished me so much, because I was her only grandchild. Twice a week, I would visit her with Mom. Granny lived on the neighboring village, separated from mine by a bridge. I loved walking to her place. I loved to see the scenery; the blue sky, the white clouds, the clear water of the river, the gentle breeze, the humming voice of Mom who was always singing everytime we walked there. When we arrived, Granny would welcome me so warmly, hugged me and sometimes even carried me. She would make me cookies and warm milk. Then she chatted with my mom until the sun set while letting me sit on her lap. Sometimes, Granny cooked something during my visit. I would help her in the kitchen along with my mother. Mom and Granny were good cooks. I was quite fascinated with helping them in the kitchen. Despite people saying that cooking is not a 'manly' thing to do, I didn't care. I liked being in the kitchen. Sometimes I would try to cook on my own, with Granny and Mom watching over me.

Granny was a tailor. Apparently she was quite fashionable during her youth too. Granny made a lot of clothes for me, but there was something that stuck with me even until I grew into an adult. At one point, I was so offended with someone who mistook me as a girl. I asked Mom for a haircut afterwards. I got too upset that I asked for a buzzcut to the barber... which, frankly, made me looked even weirder. Back on the village, my friends laughed at my almost bald head and called me 'matchstick'. I refused to go out of my house. During my visit to Granny's house, I was visibly upset and even quieter than usual. Granny only laughed and patted my head. She went inside her room, and brought something when she was back. It was a bright red hood.

"Here, Flynn. You can wear this." said Granny. "You can cover your head until your hair grows back." she continued.

"...isn't this for girls?" I asked while staring on the hood she put on my lap.

"Well, it was mine!" Granny laughed. "You don't need to wear it all the time, though. You can stop once you get your hair back."

I kept staring on the hood. I was reluctant to wear it, even though it was Granny's. Wouldn't it make me looks like a girl even more?

"There, there, Flynn... It's okay." Mom patted my back.

"It's okay if you don't want to wear it, but won't you try it first? Let's see whether it suits you or not." she continued, while giving me a big smile. I couldn't say no to Mom's smile. I wore the hood, and covered my head with it.

"Ohhhh.... Mom, look! Flynn is so cute! Sooooo cuutteeeeee!!!" Mom gushed over me and pulled me in a hug, while squishing my cheeks and rubbing my head. "Flynn, how could you be this cute! Waaaahhhh..."

"Grace, calm down!" Granny only laughed at my mother's antics. "Let Flynn go, will you?"

"No!!!"

I started to lose my breath in Mom's hug.

"Flynn can't breathe, dear. Let him go." Granny repeated again.

"Oh, really? Oh noooo...! Sorry, my baby boy!" Mom finally released me, but she was still pinching and squishing my cheeks.

"M-mom..." I weakly groaned. Sometimes, Mom was just too much.

"What is it?" Mom answered nonchalantly. I only let out a big sigh.

"Grace... You're annoying him." Granny also let out an exasperated sigh, although she chuckled afterwards. "Your son is not a doll, you know?"

"Sorry, Mom... He is just too cute..." finally Mom let go of her hands, although it was obvious that she held back so hard.

"I know." Granny gently smiled to me and patted my head. "It suits you, darling." she continued, while still looking at me with her warm gaze.

I blankly stared at Granny. I could heard Mom still gushing next to me. "He can wear it everyday!" Mom exclaimed.

"Don't force your son." responded Granny.

I heard them continue to bicker, although I didn't really care about what were talking about. After that, I started to wear the hood Granny gave me. Everyone's reaction was like Mom's. They all said I was cute. It was really grating on my nerves. But, I guess it was better than being called 'matchstick'. I started to get used with it, until I was very famous with my red hood. Some people even ended up calling me, "Hey, Little Red!" due to my hood.

The Little Red Riding Hood was a boy, though.

* * *

At least, that was my life until I turned seven. One day, my mom glomped at me after she came out of the bathroom. She seemed happier than usual.

"Flynn, my hooneeeeyyyyy!!!" she hugged me so tightly. "You will be a big brother!" she excitedly exclaimed.

"...?!" I stood frozen after hearing what she said. Soon after, Dad came and gently laughed at us.

"It means your mom is pregnant." he said.

"Oh...?"

"Come on, Flynn! Be more excited!" Mom released her hug, then proceed to shake my body.

"W-what??" I only stared blankly at Mom, trying to process the information.

"Flynn! We gonna have another child! And you will have one baby sibling!" once again, Mom shook my body back and forth while yelling loudly. Honestly, I was dizzy from what she did to me.

"Calm down, calm down." Dad held Mom back. "Flynn, your mom is pregnant. You will have a younger sibling soon." finally, Dad spoke in a comprehensible manner.

"Tomorrow?" I asked him.

"...in nine months." he replied.

"That's not soon."

"Well? Pregnancy lasts nine months. If three weeks, that's chicken egg."

"Oh."

I had nothing to say any further, so I only stared at my parents. What should I do? I never expected a sibling. I lived my life as an only child for so long. Will I be a good big brother? What should I do as a big brother? I was lost in thoughts while my parents were talking to each other. Then, I inadvertently opened my mouth.

"Is it a brother or sister?"

"Oh... we don't know about that yet." Mom quickly replied. "We'll see when the baby is born, okay! It's a surprise!"

Without hesitating, I continued. "I want a brother." I said.

"Why?" asked Mom, a bit surprised.

"A sister is also not bad, though..." Dad muttered.

"It's easier to share my stuff if it's a brother." I replied to Mom.

"Aww... Flynn!!! I'm sooooo touched...!" Mom hugged me again. I was too late to react...

"You will be a good big brother! I'm sure of it! You already think of your baby brother even before he was born..." and Mom rambled again. I sighed without listening to what she said, and resigned to her bear hug.

Day by day after that, the three of us were really anticipating the baby's birth. Dad kept buying baby stuff and toys. Oftentimes, he would bring me along. He said maybe I knew which things were better for my sibling later. In short, he was bringing me along to choose what toys to buy. Even if I didn't show it on my face, I was also excited. I couldn't wait to play with my baby brother... or maybe baby sister. I wanted it to be brother though. I hope it would be a brother for real. Dad patted my head when he saw me hugging the toys we bought tightly.

"Do you know how is it to be a good big brother?" asked Dad. I shook my head while staring on his face.

"Well... A good big brother will protect his younger sibling." he explained. "You will keep him out of harm, you will share what you have with him, you will comfort him when he is scared and crying..."

I listened to what Dad said closely. He really explained everything in details. A moment later, I asked him back.

"Where did you know all of those, Dad? You were an only child."

Dad stopped his walk, seemingly taken aback with what I said. He looked dumbfounded at me.

"Well... I told you, didn't I? About what a man should do."

I didn't say anything, only looking at his face with a piercing stare.

"A man should protect his family. When Dad is not around, the responsibility will fall on the oldest son's shoulder." he continued. I still didn't answer, but what he said sounded heavy.

"Are you ready for that?" Dad asked me again.

"...I don't know..." I answered hesitantly.

Dad let out a short chuckle. He bent down and patted my shoulder.

"... You must be ready, whether you want it or not."

* * *

At that time, I didn't really take what my father said to me seriously. I took it with a stride. But, looking back, maybe it was my last memory where I think about him fondly.

On a certain evening of a summer day, my parents were visiting Granny without me. I didn't mind as I was doing my own business. But, as the sun set, I heard a noisy crowd outside my house.

"Grace! Grace... hang in there!"

That was Dad's voice. Brought by curiosity, I walked to the front door and opened it. Dad was carrying Mom, her beautiful yellow dress was stained by blood. A lot of adults around them were panicking while trying to support my parents. For the first time in my life, I felt a chill down my spine.

"...Mom!" I cried.

"Flynn!" it was my father who responded. "Move! Give way! Oh, Grace... Grace, it's okay, we're home!"

I obeyed what Dad said. Soon after, they brought Mom to her room.

"Mom...!" I tried to follow them, but a hand stopped me.

"Flynn, let's wait here with me." it was Mrs. Martha, the Village Chief's wife. She was a good friend of Mom.

"What happened to Mom?" I asked her, my voice shaking.

"She got injured... I don't know why." Mrs. Martha gently led me to my living room couch.

"Will Mom and the baby be okay?" I asked her again.

"Let's pray for that, okay." she replied with a gentle smile. People around me were always so kind.

Soon after, Granny arrived. She apparently hurried here when she heard Mom was injured. However, she went straight to my parents' room instead of looking after me. After that, some doctors also came. I grew uneasy when I heard Mom was screaming in pain. Mrs. Martha tried to hold me back, but eventually I was able to escape her. I ran straight to where Mom was. It was so messy, blood everywhere... and something else.

A baby.

I gasped. It still had two months to go, but why was it here? Mom was very pale and looked very weak. I pushed the adults in front of me in order to reach her.

"Mom! Mom...!" I broke in tears while calling her. My mother only looked at me weakly. She was unlike her usual, energetic self.

"Flynn..." she called me back almost inaudibly. I can barely hear her voice. Then, I looked at my father who carried the baby. As I looked at him with wide, crying eyes, Dad sighed and put the baby next to Mom. Dad was also crying too.

"It's... a boy, Grace..." he exclaimed in a shaky, weak voice. It was as if he was holding back his tears.

"A baby boy..." Mom responded, still in a weak voice. "Really...? Haha. Flynn, you must be happy. It's a baby brother..." she tried hard to sound fine and continued what she said.

I stared at the baby in disbelief. He was... very small. He was as large as a plastic bottle. He was so red. He cried, but not so loudly. Or maybe, that's because I couldn't hear it amidst the adults.

Dad wiped his tears and raised his voice again. "What... What should we name him?" he asked.

"...I don't know..." Mom replied while looking at the baby.

"Flynn was from me, so maybe... it's your turn to name him?"

Mom paused for a while, her finger slowly caressing the baby's cheek. "I don't know... I don't... prepare... any name..." Mom's answer sounded so lifeless. It was really different from how she usually sounds. I found it hard to believe that it was Mom talking.

Dad who sat next to me pinched the bridge of his nose. It seemed like he was thinking hard of something. After a while, he spoke again.

"How about... Snow?"

"Snow?" Mom echoed what he said, a bit confused.

"Snow... You like it so much. Also, you look the most beautiful while you were surrounded by snow too..." he tried to explain.

"Oh..." Mom mumbled something. Maybe she pondered the name Dad proposed.

"Snow. Snow... That's a good name. I like it." finally, Mom let out a small, quiet laugh. "Then, you will be called Snow, darling..." she kissed the baby's head as she said this.

Snow.

What a weird name to be given to a baby who was born in summer.

Snow.

He was not supposed to be here now. He was supposed to come two months later.

Snow.

I was born in the winter. I was born surrounded by it. There are a lot of things you can do with snow, even if it freezes your hand. The New Year is also in winter, and I always had a lot of fun around New Year.

Snow.

It was something my mother loved so much. She was really good with ice skating and skiing. Despite the deathly cold, there was something so beautiful with snow. The whiteness that envelopes everything turns it into a wonderland. The gentle snowflakes that fall on the fingertips will soon melt due to the body heat. It is not something that means to last long, but even the short-lived beauty is still a beauty.

Snow...

I am Flynn. I am your big brother.

Welcome to the world, my dear brother. I will be your protector.

"Alan?" Mom's voice brought me back to reality.

"Yes?" Dad responded.

"Quit with that long face. I will be fine." she said again. I could tell she tried hard to sound alright.

As the day got late, everyone started to leave the room. Some of them stayed on our living room, including Granny and Mrs. Martha. I didn't want to leave Mom, so I sat on a chair next to the bed. Sadly, I was still a little child. I eventually fell asleep after I got tired of crying. However, somehow I woke up in the middle of the night. I saw Mom panted heavily, but she managed to regain her composure.

"Alan... I love you..."

Her voice was even weaker than before. I was not fully awake at this time.

"Flynn too... I love you so much..."

Hearing my name, I rubbed my eyes. I saw my mother in the verge of death, still caressing my brother's head.

"And you... My dear... I'm sorry I can't be around longer..." Mom still continued. "I... love you too, Snow..."

I finally sat straight. Mom closed her eyes, her hand limply fell. I couldn't believe what I saw.

"Mom... MOOOMMM....!!! MOM!!!" I frantically shook her body. She was not breathing. Her body was still warm, a bit cold, but still warm. I cried, futilely called her.

"Flynn! Flynn, what's wrong?"

The adults stormed into this room, someone tried to hold my body. My tears broke. I kept calling my mother.

"MOM!!! MOOOOMMM..... MOM!!! MOM... MOM!!!"

I wanted to say, please wake up. You said you will be okay. But, I couldn't say anything except 'Mom'. My screaming awakened my brother. He also cried with me. I stared at him, my body frozen. After some moment, I unconsciously reached for him. To my surprise, his small hand gripped my finger. It was very small. He looked so fragile. He is my brother.

"Snow..."

I got up from my chair, trying to get closer. I put my head next to my brother. I could feel his warmth. Snow was so small. He looked like even the smallest touch could break him. He was just like a snowflake.

"Snow, it's okay... Hic... Don't cry..." I said to him, even if I was crying myself.

"It's okay..." I wiped my tears and put my biggest smile. Then, I said to Snow: "Big brother is here. Everything is gonna be alright."

I am a big brother now. I am your big brother, Snow. I promise I will protect you until my last breath.

[peakyswritings]

Referring to what you said about Nina loving to hang out with Heaven, I got really curious. Of course they would be Tommy’s bane, and I am convinced Heaven would sincerely adore Nina’s fierce temper and rebellion. However, taking into account that Heaven is cold, blunt, often pass off insensitive and is an actual murderer would she still want to get close to her? What would she think about her? (Hope it doesn’t sound egocentric, no worry I’ll do a realistic and long-ass analysis about what Heaven would think about Nina 🤭)

Hi Shark! It doesn’t sound egocentric at all, don’t worry! OCs are part of the fandom and meant to be shared, they become actual characters that we grow to love, and it’s genuinely fun to imagine them interact with each other. It’s like building our own little world

Now to answer your question - Nina is quite a wary person, she doesn’t trust people easily, and she has to figure them out before opening up to them. But at the same time, she follows her instincts a lot, and she’s rarely wrong. If she senses a red flag, she’s right 9 times out of 10. As strange as it might sound, she doesn’t sense a red flag with Heaven - but bear with me, I’ll try to unravel the reason as clearly as I can, but I need some background first.

Like with all people, Nina would be wary at first. She’d notice of course that there’s something going on with Heaven, but despite the eerie vibes and the coldness, she wouldn’t perceive her as a bad person. Her eeriness wouldn’t scare her, quite the contrary, she’d be kinda fascinated by it. As for the coldness, she wouldn’t be too fazed - Nina herself has an ever-present frown on her face and looks rather unapproachable. And as for the bluntness - Nina always appreciated sincerity anyway. I think she’d also be really curious, although discreet, and once she’s established that she’s fine overall, she’d grow to actually like her. She’d like the way she carries herself, her strong character and the way she doesn’t take shit from anyone. I feel like Nina would have a strong feeling of respect towards her.

As for the murder part - she wouldn’t look down on Heaven for being a murderer, and it wouldn’t scare her. She grew up in a violent environment: she saw violence in the streets of the village, she saw it on women, on men - innocent and guilty, for all sorts of reasons. Sexism, power, war (when starving people during the war were literally fighting for basic survival supplies). Not to mention that her own family is a family of murderers after all, they’re in the Mafia, and even though they’ve always tried to keep her out of this stuff because she’s a woman, she’s well aware of what they do. Tommy kills people as well, she knows it. And they might be even worse than Heaven to some extent, since they kill out of personal interest, cause they benefit from it. She doesn’t condone murder in any way, but she’s coherent in that sense: she can’t excuse Tommy and her family and blame Heaven. But even though Nina is not a stranger to violence and is used to it in some sense, it doesn’t mean she’s indifferent to it. So Heaven’s ability to kill in cold blood and find some sort of “enjoyment” in it - as you’ve showed in the moodboard - would leave her perplexed, she wouldn’t really understand it and THAT might put her off. But again, she wouldn’t judge, because Heaven’s traumatised. But this aspect is something I’m analysing below cause I need a separate paragraph for that ⬇️⬇️

Now that the general stuff has been laid out, I’m going a bit into the depth of it. As I’ve said in a few occasions, Nina has a huge level of empathy and is extremely sensitive, even though she never shows that side of her as she perceives it as a weakness. But it leads her to be more understanding of people’s feeling and motives. And Heaven’s story is heartbreaking. She didn’t murder because she woke up one day and decided so, but because her family has been butchered. She watched her mother and sister burn at the stake - which is atrocious - and her father hang, and she was almost executed herself. And she was a kid. Everyone would go crazy after going through something like that. And Nina’s heart breaks for the little girl who so brutally found herself all alone in the world. So not only she doesn’t judge her at all for what she did, but she also admires her for even surviving something like that. And correct me if I’m wrong, but as I’ve come to understand Heaven kills when “triggered” (her family’s murderers, Charlie’s abductors, etc.) - we don’t see her going around and kill people just like that. And that’s further proof for Nina that she’s not bad at heart.

And lastly, Nina kinda understands how being desperate can lead to violence - she experienced it, although on a much smaller scale, when she pointed a knife at Stefano’s throat at the age of seventeen. So, again, she can’t find it in herself to judge Heaven.

It’s safe to conclude that Nina would be Heaven’s apologist n.1. To lighten up the mood, kinda like in that TikTok trend, the one that goes “What about the people he murdered?” “What murdaaa?”

And let’s be honest the little shit that is Nina would be really happy to have a partner in her mission of giving Tommy an headache

Thank you so much for the question, Shark! This was really fun and interesting to do🤍

Heaven is reader in Shark’s series Heaven in your eyes

Nina is the OC from my series Heart, Body and Soul

[psychoticwillgraham]

well. I’ve got an admirer at work now lmao we have three guys from the local drug/felon rehab (they get clean and to avoid prison time, they work a part time job here at the nutrition center and they’re all felons) who do the floor and kitchen (two on the floor, one in the kitchen), and the new kitchen guy has a massive crush on me that’s so obvious and actually kinda adorable. he constantly tells me I’m pretty every day, asks where I am if I don’t come in to help and acts sad when I’m not here, and will initiate conversations with me even when I’m busy as fuck, especially on Thursday bc I pick all the fried chicken off the bone that day, just so he can hear my voice.

he’s also told moose, my bff here, that he loves the way I talk (which makes me feel a bit better bc I’m super insecure about my speech patterns and mega gay sounding voice) and thinks I’m the sweetest, kindest, and coolest person here. and he’s EXTREMELY obvious about the flirting and I try not to flirt back bc I’m aro but I know he won’t understand what that means, so I try not to accidentally lead him on. he’s also aware that I dress butch as fuck and thinks the butcher I look, the cuter I am. I’m just not used to being complimented/flirted with this much and it’s so bizarre to me honestly bc nobody’s ever been this blatant about their crush on me before.

mom was also being a dick about him bc ‘you better not date him because he’s been a drug addict and is a felon, and you don’t want to deal with that shit’ and like bestie. that’s just being a massive dick. i’m technically a recovering addict, only with alcohol, and I know the risks of being friends with ex addicts and I’m fine with it. and just bc he’s a felon (drug possession I think) doesn’t mean ppl shouldn’t give him a second chance. you’d think that since she sat in on all those recovery meetings that she’d be a little more sympathetic, but nope. she’s just a cunt.

[backrooms-birthday-party]

Opinion on UU: It's cPTSD

Ok, this is gonna be kinda long. I have listened to Unreal Unearth now A LOT and I think my interpretation of it is the hell is cPTSD and the narrator is the one suffering from it. Let's dive in.

De Selby 1 & 2: the start of the abuse. The darkness that is now a part of the narrator, sensing that light is still there, but it's slowly fading behind the darkness settling in. Too much of that darkness, and the narrator now can't tell where they end and the trauma begins.

First Time: basically, every relationship or bond the narrator has had while existing with this darkness, the paranoia and the hypervigilance dying and coming alive constantly to the whims of another- a parent, a partner, a friend.

Francesca: digging your heels in, wanting it to be enough for yourself, trying to tell yourself that no matter what, you'll always love that hurt part of yourself, and for a moment, you believe it. It feels right to love the hurt part of yourself like this, but it's terrible to realize it's there

I, Carrion: falling into deep set patterns of self harm. Wanting so badly to reach out to yourself, to see yourself fully in the light, but it can't be helped, you'll always fall, you'll always be carrion for the worst parts of yourself as you slowly consume the good, and slowly wanting to keep a hand out to it.

Eat Your Young: the wanting for more, more misery, more stress, more burnout, never being satisfied with quiet or calm. The more you take and take, the less the loneliness feels, and you just can't stop feeding the bad parts of you.

Damage Gets Done: here's the growing up trauma. The feeling that nothing can get to you, that you're fine the way you are, but there's that nagging suspicion that things aren't quite right, there is damage coming, you just have no clue when it's gonna hit.

Who We Are: the self harm, either physical or mental, is so strong with cPTSD. It's sneaky and strong and so hard to shake. no matter what, you always feel like you deserve it, that somehow things will make sense as long as you are hurt in the process.

Son of Nyx: this one is more personal. To me, it's the sound of nostalgia, that feeling that I can't get back, the sounds of things to come and that have already passed me by, the inability to reach out and find good memories or good times, and only focusing on the bad ones.

All Things End: the hopeful tone is on purpose for this. It's so hopeful for cPTSD sufferers to feel like it's gonna end one day. That everything will just fucking stop. All the stress, all the pain, all the memories will just end.

To Someone From A Warm Climate: a love letter to little you, with all the pain of now you to accompany it. Sitting with little inner you is so hard to do, but it's such a good way to help yourself. Inner child work sometimes feels just like this song, full of everything that comes with it.

Butchered Tongue: I don't want to really mess with the point of this song, because the feeling of a butchered language by others is so strong and real. I'll just add to this that when you start therapy, and you start to learn more professional ways to explain your pain, you sometimes lose the ability to speak your own truth, instead relying on therapy speak to explain yourself.

Anything But: bargaining with yourself. Trying everything in your power to be anything but what you are. Telling yourself you don't even care anymore about their feelings, who gives a shit, cause I'm anything but myself.

Abstract: omg. This one is full on triggers the song. Anything can bring back a bad memory, and getting stuck inside one of those triggering memories can feel like a little death. I also always feel like I got hit by a car every time a parent told me they loved me only to pull that back when I needed the love the most.

Unknown: I've already talked about this one, but it's the feeling of being betrayed by inner you during recovery and therapy. The feeling that inner you doesn't give a shit about your recovery, and they will do anything to hold on to the familiar feeling of self sabotage and pain. It's a huge betrayal to yourself.

First Light: literally, the morning after a breakthrough. The idea that things can change, even if you really don't want them to. Sometimes, it needs to, as awful as it may feel in the moment, because you know you deserve to save yourself from more pain. Thinking about this interpretation always makes me cry when I hear it.

This album has been the first time I've been able to see some level of my own pain and abuse towards myself in every song. I've never had a bad breakup like the album feels, but idk why it feels perfect to describe the awful feelings you have to yourself when you have cPTSD. I hope this resonates with someone.

[villains4hire]

Sheryl Goodspeed. (Final Space)

Sheryl is not shippable with most of the canon crew because of several factors. Mostly because of Gary's relationship to them and her, she's kind of the team murder, hot grandma mum that drives the minivan, it'd be kinda odd unless it was like an entirely different universe, no one knew each other, adults etc, but that's not the case and something I'm not interested in. As she would not be with Clarence for example, one of the few she could get together with, but wouldn't. You are free to pursue her outside of that though along with platonic things. And I am fine of course in separate verses of say shipping her with someone and then Ash, Fox, Clarence, Tribore with the same character, but not the same verse.

2. This character is Australian, I've know Australians and been in a friend group of over six years with mostly aussies in vc. Then one of my best friends of twelve years whom I speak frequently to has been helping me is Australian, but I've been mostly guessing things right and with their permission have copied their way of talking to Sheryl. I can assure you that while I might make mistakes with saying like biscuits instead of scones, I do try to use my slang and lingo correctly, along with refraining from what most aren't aware that's regional, or the fact I think it's correct in the assumption that 'sheila' is considered an outdated, but acceptable term for women since language always evolves etc. I'll do my best to not butcher her rep, but she may sound more typical to a certain region like my friend is, as I get there are differences, slang that varies everywhere in Australia. Then there will be jokes here and there, but nothing dehumanizing as I'm fine with soviet russia jokes while being slavic for example, so I kinda get it y'know and my friends and the people of Australia seem to have the same mindset, though I respect anyone that's from there to maybe have a problem with it? I doubt it. So also tag 's now this is a knife' if the term cunt or cunty bothers you as I won't overuse it though maybe make a few starters for it. Because hey, I wanna give actual good rep or at least try and Sheryl would def say it, just tell me beforehand if you don't wanna hear it.

3. I suggest reading my ->Final Space Disclaimer<- (Placeholder)

4. A lot of time passes between S2 Sheryl and S3 Sheryl of her and Gary becoming closer together, but more or less takes the same course.

5. I highly suggest reading her fanon backstory and her part in the ending, characterization drabble at the bottom. But I wouldn't consider it required to be compared to say Ash, Fox or maybe Clarence.

Continuation verse cybernetic arm reference.

Do I want them to die: Nah, mostly because of Gary for main timeline Sheryl, otherwise I probably would've killed her for her ending if she had remained unrepentant and Gary hated her. Bad timeline Sheryl is fine to die though. Will I have/get icons: I have around 220ish. Tag: priorities lost (Pre-Fanon Ending Verse), I am fine with her growing close to people outside of Gary before she does to him, but I will flavor she's made peace with Gary at this point if people wanna do silly stuff say with like my Ash or Fox and Sheryl with say a Gary etc for mostly wholesome fun | priorities found post fanon ending of Sheryl, her power set is the same but it's after the death of Invictus and more or less links with say my Fox, Ash, Clarence and Tribore's continuation, though as always: they don't have to be the focus. | 's this is a knife' as this character does say the word cunt or cunty. Blacklist that tag if it bothers you. | venture found is an au where Sheryl has a similar powerset still and is basically on levels of Brock Samson/the Archetype for the AU? This AU is mostly just for fun, stupid hero, villain stuff with a similar premise of Venture Bros but doesn't have to be that universe. Mostly just the idea. Age: 67 (She's stopped aging from her cybernetics and space Australian DNA) Sex: AMAB Gender: She's trans female no-op (It's the future, I don't have to explain jack). Is fine with she/him, being called mum or dad, both, variants of. Just not a combo like 'dom' or 'dommy'. Why both though? Eh, I thought it'd be cute if she could be both to Gary since he deserves both. That and other characters I have mayhaps depending on what they have with Gary. Race: Space Australian. Sexuality: A hole's a goal. (I joke, she just seduces people I guess) Personality traits: Gruff, not much of a talker unless it's a story or maybe someone she likes. Even then it's more than just a few words but still not much of a talker. Likes one-liners, sometimes cheesy ones. Bit of a flirt with some. Extremely loyal to a fault if you earn it. Manipulative. Opportunistic. Violent. Sadistic. Calm along with her anger most of the time, even in a fight to the death. Can experience surprise, but rarely is she ever afraid. Doesn't understand her own emotions that well. At times can enter denial, albeit not an obvious state. A bit of a loner. Doesn't like to stay in one place for long, a bit of a wanderer. Likes her hobbies when healthyish again, which include: likes fishing. Likes hiking. Likes hunting. Collects guns and weapons, especially 'knifes'. Likes camping. Survival cooking, Grilling, Bbqing. Likes old tech and ships and can be a bit of a secret nerd about it with knowledge alone, plays video games with Gary when made amends with him or other people she likes well enough. Tends to like action games or racing games. Likes a few pints here and there, can drink the pain away or just goes on dangerous missions if spiraling. Doesn't talk about her pain a lot, tends to endure things alone unless prompted. Can be worried or thoughtful to other people such as Ash canonically when it comes to well-being. She likes Space Maccas a lot. Mental traits: Has a form of ASPD and possibly depression. Thinks like a human, but has a very robotic way to analyze things due to her neural implants. Physical traits: A lot of scars on her body ranging from cuts, burns, bullet shots. Hands feel like leather, she can pick up sharp objects or fires without being effected much, granted it becomes only one of her hands in her post verse, it doesn't matter for the other so long as it's not like actual lava y'know. She's about the same height as Gary and Avocato which Avocato is said to be 6'5. She's pretty dense like him too considering her limbs might actually be thicker than his from what we've seen? So yeah, she's rather built too, albeit one for actual power so while she has definition, it's not that weird dehydrated body-builder look. Powers:

Lock picking - she can pick locks to even an eldritch horror's shackles. Why can she do this? I guess I explain it is that she uses specialized lockpick implants, or has lockpicks on her just in case.

Hacking - she's a stealth assassin and a spy in the endgame of her career. Kind of required.

Bombs - also kind of required but she's able to defuse bombs, plant them, subtly hide them, etc.

Pilot - is considered one of the best pilots in the universe in canon.

Ship engineer - well, she does know a lot about ships.

The world down undah - in the far off world down undah of far space? Is the near mystical world of Space Australia, where giant creatures roam, the inhabitants immigrants from Earth centuries ago when a great calamity happened in the region of Australia, they simply picked up Australia with their ships and left. This new environment they lived in gave them almost a super power in itself from overtime exposure, making them a formidable force in the universe... as few often wish to invade Space Australia, as even the areas in Space around it are inhabited by giant creatures, yet the people of Space Australia there flourish all too well.

Cybernetics - the cybernetics vary, but range from neural interfaces from targeting systems, reflexes, durability. Then for her post verse? Using one of her purple plasma knives deploys from her palm for the robotic right arm and some of her weapons listed below or tossed out of like a grenade. Has a slight healing factor, but couldn't regenerate her arm for instance.

Weapon Use - plasma guns ranging from overshoulder blasters, plasma blades, plasma pistols, machine guns. Grenades, sticky bombs and a few non-lethal things like tranq-darts All preferably silenced but interweave into her fighting style. She could certainly deflect bullets and plasma shots for a few, but not quite say a gatling gun or a machine gun. But maybe single to semi-auto.

Stealth Assassin - knows how to move undetected and tends to be her preferred method if going in guns a blazing is a stupid idea, even for a thrill.

Gadgets - things like grappling hooks, her jet boots, comms communicators, her fake back molar jacks to use for hacking, etc.

Planner - if she feels it's needed, otherwise she might just go in guns blazing. Can create month-long intricate plans, however

Knows the universe rather well and where to go - mostly from her experiences and contacts. Though she isn't the most connected other than to weapon producers and where to get illegal shit, her gear, then things like Space Maccas or other things from Earth.

Is able to track - She tracked down Todd pretty single-handedly, granted, acted a bit rash as she was trying to take him alive at first to torture for information. Though they ended up working together.

Motivations: To see tomorrow. To be with her family. To find thrills in her interests or excitement in life. Pursuing hobbies. To survive no matter the cost. Backstory:

To sum it up: her background is with her family, previously known as Sheryl Anderson, as a young hitman starting at the age of 15 in an Australian Mafia in Space Australia when her dad made her an ultimatum before she later becomes Agent Y, then eventually Prisoner Y when she was captured decades after murdering her old boss, though the organization is much bigger than that is why they're still after her. The only reason she wasn't executed right away was to have a prisoner transfer so they could execute her in public etc, but then freed herself when reuniting with Gary. Then her fanon ending is her going with Gary when killing Invictus to provide a way out for him after the deed is done and her own conclusion as a character with added characterization and her perspective with Gary.

You can read it below for her full backstory and conclusion, which I recommend! But I don't think is AS required say as my Ash and Fox reworks.

->Where Priorities Lie<-

[moonlit-reveriee]

Baby Blue

technoblade x fem!reader

concept: techno is scared of ‘corrupting’ the reader, but the reader’s kinda into it...

content warning // NSFW, virgin!reader, very minor angst?, small argument that gets resolved

listen to this while you read: BBBlue (Single) by Olivver the Kid

(this fic was heavily inspired by the lyrics of this song, so i highly recommended giving it a listen!)

───※ ·❆· ※───

When Techno found out you were a virgin, he was terrified. Not necessarily of the thought itself, but of the implications.

He’d never forget the look on your face when you told him. You tried to be casual about it, but he knew you well enough to spot the dusting of pink across your cheeks. You nuzzled yourself closer into his side. Whether out of embarrassment or something else entirely, he couldn’t tell. All he could feel was his heart dropping as the voices chanted at him to “ruin her”

Of course you, his pure sweet angel, would be a virgin. He once again crumbled under the idea that you had chosen him. How on earth could a person like you even think of being with a beast like him. Yet alone, giving up your virginity to him.

He hated how horribly turned on he was by the thought of taking it.

The voices had been relentless about it ever since. They were hyper focused on your every move, twisting every thought of his into something promiscuous. When you rolled out of bed in the morning and stretched, a small sigh escaping your lips, it was endless cries of “make her do that again” “you should fuck those moans out of her” “make her scream”

While making breakfast together in the morning, they wouldn’t stop telling him to “bend her over the counter” “take it right here”

Even at times where he was alone, the voices preoccupied him with endless thoughts of you. He was fairly certain they had forced him to imagine every possible way in which he could have you. “imagine fucking her against the wall” “you can be gentle for the first time y’know” “she’d feel so good writhing underneath us” “press her face into the mattress instead” “make her get on her knees and suck you off” “she’ll be such a pretty little slut for us”

He tried to take care of himself as often as he could, but it was becoming impossible to keep up with. There were only so many times a day he could jerk himself off alone behind locked doors. He was desperate, and sexually frustrated to say the least.

He felt disgusting for it.

After a week of this torment, he could barely even look at you yet alone touch you without the voices and his own guilt pounding against his skull. You couldn’t even think about broaching the subject again, because he was avoiding physical contact like the plague. He wouldn’t come to bed until he knew you were asleep, and would leave long before you woke.

As much as he tried to hide it, you could tell he was tired. Something was wrong, but you knew that he’d never just tell you about his problems unprompted. Techno was insufferably stubborn in that way. After several days of avoiding your gaze and leaning away from your touch, you chose to confront him.

“Techno”, you called for his attention quietly, trying to sound stern while remaining gentle with him. He didn’t turn to fully face you, but he glanced at the spot on the wall just above your head.

You struggled to find the words you wanted to say, so you settled on telling him, “Techno, you look tired.”

He turned his attention away from you. “Just a lot of work around the house this week. I’ll be fine after I rest.”

“Then come to bed with me.” You saw the way his body tensed and tilted away from you at that simple suggestion.

“I just need to write a couple letters first. You can go ahead of me.”

“Techno...”, you whined, daring to take a step closer to him. He gave you an almost panicked look, “why does it feel like you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you”, he responded quickly, trying to look through you instead of at you.

“Yes you have”, you responded firmly. A flash of guilt washed over his face at your tone. “You haven’t kissed or touched me for nearly a week now. I don’t even know for sure if you sleep in the same bed as me anymore. Fuck, you barely even talk to me.”

Angry tears threatened to spill down your cheeks, but you wanted to hold them in. Techno felt his chest tighten at the sight of it. He instinctively turned and reached out to comfort you, but forced himself to freeze.

“There”, you said, gesturing towards him, “just like that. You’re stopping yourself. Why are you doing that?”

He repeatedly opened and closed his fists at his side, wanting to have any conversation other than this one.

“[y/n], there’s just a lot going on in my mind right now”, he said. It wasn’t a complete lie. “I just need to work though it.”

“Then let me help you.”

“No”, he responded a little too quickly, “I- I mean, I just don’t want to talk about it with you yet...”

“Why not?”, you retorted, trying to squeeze any information you could out of him.

“I just don’t, okay? It’s uncomfortable, I don’t want to talk about it yet.”

“... is this about me being a virgin?”

“I never said that”, he replied, but the tension in his shoulders was enough to tip you off.

“Ah geez Technoblade, if it was that much of a problem for ya, you should have just told me”, you said sarcastically, “instead of avoiding all physical contact for a like week straight!”

“It’s not a problem, [y/n].”

“Certainly doesn’t feel that way.”

Techno huffed in frustration, grabbing a fistful of his hair at the root. He wasn’t sure if he was more upset with himself, or the fact that a few of the voices were still begging him to “please fuck her already”

“Love, I wasn’t avoiding you because I didn’t want it. They”, he tapped a finger against the side of his skull, “they want it so badly. It’s driving me insane.”

He breathed in and out shakily, trying to gauge your expression in the brief moments before he continued.

“I’m a monster. I’ve spilt more blood than anyone every should in a single lifetime. My appearance is more beast than man.”

He looked up briefly to find you staring right at him, a tight-lipped frown upon your face.

“What does that have to do with any of this?”

“I- ... I don’t want to corrupt your innocence”, he admitted.

“What on earth do you mean by that?”

“[y/n], you’re so perfect”, he answered almost breathlessly, “you’re so kind and so pure. Just living with me does enough to taint your reputation, I don’t wanna-“

He cut himself off to swallow thickly. He almost seemed scared of the words he was going to say next.

“I don’t want to ruin this part of you either...”

A heavy silence filled the tiny sitting room of techno’s cottage. In those few seconds, your eyes widened ever so slightly as his words suddenly clicked in your mind. This hulking boar of a man, an undisputed war criminal, was scared. He was scared of damaging you, your reputation, or your recently revealed ‘innocence’. Compared to himself, he saw you as a pure being who could be tainted by unwholesome thoughts.

If what he said about the voices was true, then his actions of the past few days would’ve made sense for him.

“Oh techno...”, you muttered softly, tentatively placing a hand on his jaw. His posture was curled inward, making him look small despite his size. He was stiff at first, but allowed you to lift his gaze to meet yours. He searched your eyes desperately for an indication of your reaction. You gave him a reassuring smile.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

A small wave of confusion washed over his face, but he nodded anyways. “It was at the festival...”

“That’s right”, you said, moving the hand on his face down to rest over his shoulder, “and do you remember what I did that day?”

“You threw an axe into Schlatt’s shoulder”, he answered, watching as the scene played out in his memory.

You lived with Niki in her bakery at the time, and witnessed firsthand the injustice she faced during Schlatt’s presidency. As the chaos after Tubbo’s execution occurred, you took the opportunity to hurl your axe where Schlatt stood upon his podium. The blow wasn’t fatal, but that wasn’t necessarily your goal. You just wanted to see the man in pain.

“It was a lucky shot really”, you admitted, “I wasn’t even aiming properly.” That managed to draw a small smile onto Techno’s lips.

“And do you remember”, you continued, “when I tried to confront the Butcher Army by myself?”

He grimaced at the thought. You had told him you just needed to make a quick trip to L’manburg for some supplies, leaving him at home alone to recover from the previous day’s events. You returned that evening with a sprained wrist and a couple large bruises forming on your body. None of them were trying to kill you, but you took a pretty good beating from Quackity just for trying to confront them.

“Why are you bringing all of this up now?”, he asked.

“Because”, you said, “this is the evidence that will support my next point.”

He looked bewildered by that statement, but continued to listen.

“I’m not a perfect person”, you resumed, “I have blood on my hands just like you do. I know it’s hard to compare to you, but I’m not devoid of my own sins. I can be mean, I’ve hurt people. I’m not a pure, angelic being who would quiver at a single inappropriate thought. I think you forget that sometimes.”

He let your words swirl around in his head; he couldn’t deny the logic in them. The evidence prevented him from denying the truth of your statement. He could almost be mad that you’d talked him into a corner, but he was more overjoyed at the fact that you knew him well enough to do so.

“And you know...”, you spoke quietly, letting your hand fall down to rest on his chest, “if you did somehow ‘corrupt my innocence’ as you say... I really wouldn’t mind that.”

Techno’s breath hitched in his throat. There were a brief few moments, maybe minutes, where he just stared at you. Then his lips were on yours; sudden and clumsy, but passionate. You gripped the fabric of his shirt as he grabbed at your waist, desperate to have you in his arms again.

“I’m sorry, I had to”, he muttered, his lips left hovering a hair’s breadth away from yours.

“You’re so silly sometimes”, you sighed affectionately, rubbing small circles into his collarbone. He gave you a gentle smirk before pressing another kiss into your lips.

“I’m sorry darling, I really am”, he said as he drew you into a tight hug. He took in your scent and the feel of your skin for the first time in days. It felt like he could survive off the feeling of your arms wrapped around his body alone. He wondered why he ever let himself be depraved of this.

“You know I trust you, right?”, you spoke with your face pressed into his chest.

“I’m not sure why, but yes.”

You decided not to reprimand him for saying that. You could help him unpack all that later. Instead, you brought your head up to whisper in his ear.

“You have my full and unconditional consent to take my virginity whenever you’re ready.”

Techno inhaled and held his breath, though for what, he wasn’t sure. It took a while for the full weight of those words to sink in. He leaned back to stare at your face, bringing one of his large and shaky hands up to cup your cheek.

“Are you sure?”, his eyes were wide with trepidation, practically pleading with you to tell him the truth. You leaned into his palm, indulging in the feeling of his skin on yours.

“I want you, techno. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

Techno was lost in your words. The sudden absence of guilt left his heart light and airy in his chest. For the first time in days, the voices were only a gentle murmur.

“she’s so beautiful” “she wants you” “make her feel good” “show her how special she is” “make her smile” “she’ll be so pretty” “she’s always pretty” “be gentle, no need to rush”

“make love to her”

“... I think I’m ready now.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

ayyyy guess who finally finished writing something!!!

parts of this feel a little rushed but ehhhhhh i was just excited to finally post it. i looove writing techno as an extremely self-conscious character who’s too caught up in their own head to see how ridiculous they’re being. so, this was a treat for me to write

i hope you enjoyed :D

-moonlight