#source? I’m a college student trust me bro

[trektown]

Alcoholic drinks I think the DS9 cast would like:

Sisko: he’d like a good whiskey drink, probably an old fashioned

Jadzia: she’d crush Margaritas down at the replimat

Kira: hard seltzers (she could fuck up a white claw) or sangria

Bashir: gin and tonic or the occasional light beer

O’Brien: almost exclusively beer. Always orders a classic Guinness

Odo: Jack and Coke or a generic beer

Quark: he drinks pornstar martinis or vodka cranberries like the whore he is

Garak: absinthe or everclear. Absolutely insane liquor choices

[corporatefrog]

╰┈➤ Welcome Back to the Channel part 29; like and subscribe

✧.* featuring yn setting up for their newest youtube video when a few unexpected guests arrive : ̗̀➛ notes - this is the last chapter! thank you guys so much for joining me during the journey of this story. I haven't finished a fic in years so it feels so good to write that final line. I left it pretty open ended to be ready for extra chapters in the future!! I could say a bunch more about how thankful I am for people reading this story and how much it's help me work through the past month but i'll let the chapter do that :) tags - college au, superhero au, smau

series masterlist previous | next

Okay. Let’s do this. 

“Hey guys! We’ve got a really special video today!” I greeted with a beaming grin, micking a high five with the camera. So far so good. “We’re going to be doing an interview I’ve been waiting to make for a long time…” I paused for effect before moving to the side, revealing today’s special guest. 

“Say hello to Mysterion!” I exclaimed with applause. I’d add some cheering effects while editing but without it, it sounded a bit empty. 

Looking back at Kenny, a laugh burst from my mouth at the expression on his face. He’d twisted his mouth into some semblance of a smirk but with the mask he looked cool and suave and more like he’d just smelled a three day old diaper. 

“Dude, what is that face? You look fucking stupid.” I said between laughs. Kenny frowned, giving me a side eye. 

“I’ve got a reputation to uphold!” He whined, gesturing to the dark hooded costume, “You don’t get it because you just started using your persona-”

“KENNY! Just say my social security number too why don’t you-” The frame shook as I lunged forward to stop the recording before any more secrets were shared on camera.

It had been about a few months since I’d started working with Butters and the guys would not let me forget they had seniority in the hero/villain world. Every chance Clyde had, he reminded me that he was there when they fought Cthulhu. Of course, Kyle was close behind to say that Clyde had done absolutely nothing during that fight. But that was followed by Kyle reminding me that he was sent to hell and was there during the eldritch battle.

I’d been worried when they found out that they’d stop talking to me altogether. I wasn’t quite sure why. They’ve known about Butters being Professor Chaos since they were children and I see him and Kenny hang out more than he hangs out with Kyle and Stan sometimes. He even hangs out with Craig and his group on the weekends. 

The only thing that’s been hurt by my employment at Chaos LLC is my intel source. Wendy stopped giving me insider details about hero movements if they related to Professor Chaos so I haven’t been able to cover as much of his antics but she was still queuing me into other run-ins with minor villains and typical South Park oddities. 

Last week, fucking Slenderman showed up. Like a tall faceless dude in a suit and tie Slenderman. Just standing in the park. He did kidnap Butters which led to an interesting rescue mission. And the video coverage was insane. Marble Hornets could never. 

I didn’t want to trust it at first. I’d spent a month waiting for things to suddenly change. For everyone to turn on me for being a minor inconvenience at best but Craig still asked me to help him with his stats homework at Tweek Bros and Stan still invited me to whatever random board game shop he was visiting that week. The only thing that changed was sometimes we ran around the city in (if I’m being honest) ridiculous costumes and blew off some of the steam that comes with being a college student at Garrison University. 

The entire college almost shut down last month due to Dean Garrison being convicted of tax fraud and publicly attempting to assassinate the President in order to avoid charges. Without anyone to lead the college and the name now permanently connected to an elementary school teacher turned assassin, the only option seemed to be shutting the place down. That was a rough month. The university was literally on the verge of closure and I still had to write a 10 page research paper. What kind of bullshit is that?

Yeah but it was a paper about The Bachelor so was it really work?

Anything that involves citing in APA is work. 

The routine of my new normal set in pretty quickly. Well, as ‘normal’ as things can be when you’re friends with superheroes in South Park. I went to my classes, made videos for my channel, then I’d meet up with Butters and ruin a few people’s day a few times a week. It was scary how easily I fell into the routine. I’d wake up and say good morning to Stan as though he weren’t shooting tranquilizer darts from a nail gun at me a few hours earlier. Certainly not a sentence I ever thought I’d say. 

Looking back on the past two years, I see all the chances I had to end up somewhere else. If I’d gone to a different university and never set foot in South Park or if I’d chosen a different apartment and never ran into Clyde on my first day there I could have led a completely different life. Even in the moments which dragged on my mind, they all led me here. And the feeling of comfort that comes along with that thought makes every struggle worthwhile. 

There’s nowhere I’d rather be and here. Attending a university with an idiot dean, living in an apartment building with my closest friends, and now helping someone I care about get the revenge he’s due. Oh, and making youtube videos about all the stupid shit that happens along the way.

I restarted the recording, giving Kenny a warning glare before saying the intro again. This time, he kept a normal face which made it much easier to not think about how just a few months ago, I was freaking out at the idea of talking to THE Mysterion. 

Granted, now we’ve seen THE Mysterion vomiting in a toilet at 2 am after eating his taco bell too fast so the shimmer has faded. 

“So, Mysterion,” I started, glancing at my list of questions I’d prepared for the interview, “You’ve been the longest running hero in South Park history! How does it feel to be coming up on 10 years as South Park’s Guardian Angel?”

Kenny hummed as he mulled over the question, “It’s not an easy job-” A knock on the door cut off his answer. I looked over at Kenny with a confused expression. He mirrored my confusion but couldn’t offer an idea on who was interrupting our interview for the second time. 

I paused the video before heading over to the door, looking through the peephole. Toolshed’s signature belt gave him away instantly. He shifted from foot to foot as he waited, tapping his hands against his thighs. 

What the fuck?

I opened the door, leaning against the frame while I deadpanned at my neighbor. 

“What’re you doing?” I asked, looking at him from under my eyebrows. 

Stan flashed a sheepish smile, “Well, I heard that you were interviewing Ken-” He paused, glancing down the hall both ways before correcting himself, “Mysterion today and I was thinking I could join? I haven’t gotten an interview yet after all.” 

“You haven’t gotten an interview because all you’ve done the past three fights is stand in the back with a power drill looking lost.” I pulled up my phone and held it up for Stan to see the footage from the past three hero conflicts. While Kenny and Craig dove into the fray, Stan could be seen in the background, searching through his utility belt for the right tool for the battle. By the time he held up his weapon of choice, Craig would be throwing the final punch.

“Okay those videos are rigged. You got those from the Craig fan accounts.” Stan protested. 

“You’re really reaching now bud-” 

“Is there still time for the interview?” A voice shouted from down the hall. Kyle’s door flew open with him rushing out soon after. The kite strapped to his back caught on the door frame, sending him tripping and falling into the wall across the hall from his door. I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face while the sound of Kyle cursing and tripping over his own stupid fucking costume filled the hallway. 

“Dude what are you doing?” Stan asked, crossing his arms as though he were the one being put upon by the appearance of the Human Kite. Kyle righted himself, brushing imaginary dust off his costume. 

“You said you were going to try and get in on the interview and after my last one-” He gave me a pointed look as though I were the one who chose his stupid name in the first place, “turned into me being berated for an hour and a half.” 

“Yeah but you already had one. It’s my turn now.” Stan whined. 

“Actually, it’s my turn right now.” Kenny said, suddenly appearing behind me at the door. I jumped to the side, holding a hand over my chest to keep my heart from jumping out at the shock. 

“Jesus fuck man. I need to put a bell on you.” I muttered to myself before addressing the slowly growing group of complaining superheroes, “None of you guys get to decide whose turn it is to be on my channel. I set up this interview with Kenny a month ago and we’re finally getting to filming so if you want to have ‘your turn’ you need to fill out the form and join the queue like everyone else. I’ve got Craig and Tweek lined up for next month then Tolkien-”

“How the fuck does Tolkien get to go before me-”

“Because he filled out the fucking form Stan? I literally just told you.” 

“Okay, well I just think it would be more interesting to have Toolshed on before Tupperware.” Stan looped his thumbs through his utility belt, kicking a foot at the ground with a frown tugging at his lips. He looked up at me with pouting eyes, blinking rapidly as he tried to change my mind.

No way this 20 year old is pouting in the hallway right now. 

I blew a breath out of the corner of my mouth, averting my eyes from the pouting college student. I better not regret this. 

“Okay, fine.” I started. Stan’s posture immediately improved as he straightened up and began to walk towards the door. Kyle followed suit with a borderline giddy smile of his own. I held up a hand to stop them, “But this is a one time thing, okay? Don’t go telling the others you can just bug me into doing a video with them because I know Clyde can and will be the most annoying motherfucker to ever exist until I do an entire series about him.” 

Kyle and Stan nodded rapidly, heads moving in sync as they agreed to whatever would get them in the video. I was about to move aside and let them in when Kenny sucked in a breath. 

“We weren’t supposed to tell other people about this?” He asked. When I turned to stare at him, he plastered an awkwardly large grin on his face. 

“Who did you tell?” I asked, holding my breath out of fear for what he’d say next. Kenny paused, eyes moving across the ceiling as he thought over the question. That’s never a good sign. Then he began counting on his fingers, mouth moving in silent words as he continued to tick off different unknown names. 

Letting his hands fall with a shrug, he looked back at me with the still incredibly awkward smile, “Only like a few of the guys-” 

“MUAHAHAHA, THIS IS WHERE YOU FALL MYSTERION!” Butters came barreling in through my balcony doors, fists raised to the sky as he posed in the living room. The four of us turned to look at the villain. 

“False alarm, Butters. Apparently this was a lowkey thing.” Kenny said, pointing to me with his thumb as though I were the buzzkill in the situation. My jaw dropped as I turned to Kenny, appalled that he had the audacity to claim I was ruining our private interview I’d spent a month planning. 

Butters’ arms fell back to his sides, tinfoil of his gauntlets scraping slightly against his belt, “Awe geez, and here I was ready for a scuffle.” He said, scuffing the toe of his boot against the floor in a similar pout to Stan’s from moments before. 

Why am I friends with a bunch of toddlers? 

Before I could address Butters’ appearance, my apartment was flooded with the rest of my friends all clad in their hero costumes. Tolkien waddled behind Tweek and Craig, turning sideways to get through the door with Clyde following close behind. Soon my apartment was filled with arguing superheroes and one very boisterous villain, all trying to figure out how to fit themselves into the frame. 

I squeezed myself onto the couch between Kenny and Clyde, feeling like I should at least have the original planned video guest in the middle of the frame. Voices overlapped as Stan tried to shove Kyle over, pushing Tweek and Craig further to the side. The cacophony of sound bounced off the walls and made the air buzz with the rambunctious energy. 

Normally the noise would send me spiraling, overstimulated by the different sounds all pulling me in different directions, but the noise around me calmed the normally racing thoughts in my mind. I’d spent so long sitting in front of this camera, reading off new stories of the people who now shouted my name to grab my attention from opposite ends of the couch I’d gotten off Facebook Marketplace. The once deafening silence which filled the moments between takes was replaced by shouts to move over and accusations of stepping on their kite string. 

It was the best noise I’d ever heard. 

“I’m starting now! Everyone shut up and follow me lead!” I announced, stabilizing the camera before returning to my spot with a smile.

I smiled for the camera. I smiled at the thought of the views a video with all of South Park’s heroes would get. But I also smiled from the overwhelming happiness that came from being surrounded by my closest friends. 

“Hey guys!” I greeted, raising a hand to mimic a high five with the lens,

“Welcome back to the channel!”

taglist [reply to be added]: @sula0kin @lacuna-at-dawn @anglettecolours @cocolena@sukisprettyface @feverish-dove @sweetadonisbutbetter @hand-writxen@mishstuff@sophtophie @triphovia  @lacunaanonymoused @inkedintothepaper @toodeepintofandoms@mmmaackerel @sillybilly-123@n0tangeliccc@sophtophie@inkedintothepaper 

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Could you link me to some posts about the UK environment/animal treatment/ecosystem issues? My fam always needs outright sources to trust my word

It may be better to ask someone from the UK to be honest. I don’t know much about formal papers regarding this.

I’m also going to be honest, this is not a good blog to ask for citations from because most of what I know is from personal experience in this field but I can’t really say “source: just trust me bro” because, well, I don’t list my qualifications in specific so that’s hard to expect others to trust from me. Besides that, most papers I would link you to would be behind a paywall that’s honestly too steep to justify paying if you aren’t using said papers for a formal write up somewhere. If you’re in college, most institutions have some means to access various research papers as it’s included with tuition, so whether you’re a current student or not i would advise you seek help at a library if you want actual academic citations to prove these points. I’m really just here to put the information in an easier to digest way with no paywall blocking you from seeing this sort of information. Since I am not being compensated for my work here and my time is limited due to real life, I don’t have a way to justify finding and reading through papers for your personal use.

Best of luck in your search, and if anyone happens to have anything handy feel free to link papers in the reblogs.

[empressxmachina]

Is THIS what will push me to make an AO3 account? (not clickbait) (surprising)

[See this journal in a better layout on my blog site or on DeviantArt.]

I’ve fallen so down abysmal for the Help, I Shrunk My… series – “…Teacher“, then “…Parents”, and finally (?) “…Friends” – especially the last movie and its scenes between peers, that I have such an uncharacteristic urge to write a fanfic.

Yep, fanfic. I did say uncharacteristic. But with the cuteness and quality, especially at certain scenes in “…Friends” like below, I don’t think you can blame me.

“Holy shit, I’m going to pass out/die/shit myself/etc.” -me, at nearly everything in this series

(Post?) Pubescent Pairings

A. The Classic Couple.

I’m already, because I’m a serial romantic that loves a good self-insert, thinking to name the whole story “Help, I Shrunk My Lover/Girlfriend” or something cheesy like that (maybe even in German?) for Felix and Ella to be stuck together and have to deal with (post?-) pubescent awkwardness. I mean, I feel so honey-dicked that we got cute shit like this and its amazing scene…

God, look at that FOV, the (lack of) focus, the size difference, the subtitle, that face… Fuck.

…but it had to be ruined because – SPOILER – the dumb, lusting teen boy couldn’t see what was literally right in front of him for years until the end of the third movie! Plus, being steps away from a married couple of hotheads, who knows what kind of fights or arguments they’d get into? Are you telling me you wouldn’t want a scene like this again?

That stick is actually way too big to really be a toothpick (or is it?), but I’m not mad. We stan a brave queen.

B. The Will-They/Won’t-They Duo

I’m thinking of making Mario and Melanie into each other, too, as irony based on how much they hated each other for most of the last movie. She stole his phone (and everything else) and then his heart. (lol, I’m so sorry.) Maybe she’d still have some fancies for Felix but then sees that Mario has redeeming qualities of his own, on top of a rich background (not that it matters, but money is cool). My main focus in mind was just for Ella to be shrunken, with Melanie being the supportive gal pal, but given she’s new and hasn’t yet been small herself, maybe this would be the time.

I think Mario would’ve totally gotten over the prepubescent power drive from the first movie by now and certainly no longer has even the slightest grudge over Melanie causing and/or catalyzing chaos that could be played with if he had to deal with a small her. Surely.

C. The Bros in the Back

Would it be too presumptive to make Chris and Robert maybe gay for each other… or even absolutely the opposite? I respect a strong friendship and/or bromance, and LGBTQ+ representation is always a win, too. But for either, I don’t want to do anything “just because” or because it’s “(not) woke;” it should add to the story and have meaning. After all, a situation like “Dude, I love you, and I’ll love you forever, but not like that” could be just as cute. We stan supportive introspection between men. Bros before hoes, you know?

Though, maybe they’re likely the great masterminds to figure out what/why the plot thickens. They seem like the most intelligent of the squad, even if they were only henchmen at the beginning.

D. The Elders

I guess it would only make sense for Schmitty or Felix’s parents to get shrunk again, as is tradition. Maybe the former would be due to considering retirement from teaching/being principal.

I’d do anything to get Hausmeister Michalsky protecting her with his hat again.

As for the parents, it’d likely be a wrong place, wrong time situation. I don’t know.

Unless Sandra and Peter were snooping again, I doubt Felix would willingly do this to them.

Overarching Themes

Aging for Innuendo

Regarding all this, I do know that I’d like to make the story time-skipped a bit, making the kids at least U.S.-adult-aged for my own sake. I am a fan of double entendre, cheekiness, and raw emotion, so I’d love to spill them all over a story or characterization if fitting. However, I couldn’t bear to see or write any kiddos explicitly going through with any entailed implications – that shit’s illegal, lmao. Plus, why even risk something like that when an age-up takes away all the trouble, thus not make any innuendos or ideas awkward?

In a fun way, small or not, wouldn’t seeing the gang party together with real man’s drinks or whatever be cool? What about someone getting turnt on a thimble’s worth or a gummy bear’s paw?

The cups have been used. That’s adorable. +10 points for realism.

In a trash way, if a greater trust was built between Felix and Ella to wear one would suggest taking a bath with the other, and a small Ella floating in the soap ocean bumps into something on her back, only to realize all of Felix’s (normal) limbs are out of distance, in view, and/or just not able to touch her yet he’s blushing, then what would that imply? (It could be nothing, but it could be something.)

Why, Though?

I just can’t figure out a supposedly new catalyst for the ultimate shrinking plot point, mostly due to the main chaos causers, aka the ancient magic users that tackled the school, being sent to the Shadow Realm in the last movie. I do have some ideas, but I’d always love to hear more.

*Oh, Hulda Stechbarth… Bless this crazy bitch, lol.

Throughout the series, people going to our wanting to go to America was frequently brought up. Maybe, like Ilvermorny is to Hogwarts, maybe there’s a (maybe American) (college?) counterpart to the Leonhard school that is interested in the kids. Could the sudden shrinking be a part of the admissions or entrance exam process, such as figuring out how to reverse it? I can’t imagine someone still wanting to go to a school that risked its prospective students’ lives, but who knows? Still, I’m sure the friends would debate whether going overseas for any school is the best idea, especially with the ridiculous costs. Could differing views cause tension?

What if one between Felix and Ella considered it, but the other didn’t, and a coincidentally timed dream for them to stay together – not unlike Minami-kun no Koibito, if you know it – made one of them small with no way for Felix to turn the affected back to normal (due to the tests)? What if people start believing that Felix is intentionally not transforming people back, despite not being at fault but trying his best the whole time?

I suppose another villain is cool, too, but what would be their spite? Would Felix getting all of Leonhard’s power be enough to spark something?

***

I want to do this, but I rarely finish anything now. I can’t even think of a proper plot! Maybe putting this out into the world will inspire myself or even someone else to give a fanfic a shot or at least expose this series to our fandom more (like when I found Dwarfina and blushed at every scene, despite not knowing a lick of Tagalog)!

The third movie pretty much just released, so I only see it (legally) able for streaming (via renting or buying) via Vudu and Amazon Prime Video (in the U.S.). It maybe more widespread in Germany where it was made. (Though, VPNs do exist…) But the first and second movies can be bought or rented from multiple sources, surely.

In any case, let me know what y’all think, and feel free to share your thoughts!

[lexpressobean]

Parent/Teacher Night: Ch 2, Remember When

In which Shino recalls some thens and compares them to the nows, and gets inspired to change some things with Kiba's encouragement.

*Modern AU, Swearing

**You can find this on AO3 now too, along with the first chapter. Let's gooooooooo!!!

•••

"He asked to trade numbers?" Kiba repeated, pausing all motion, chopsticks mid snatch for a gyoza.

"Yes. Is that... Weird?"

"Well, no."

Kiba reached over and chose his specimen, a plump piece just asking to be dipped. Shino continued eat his steamed rice. It was okay if Kiba wanted the last of the gyoza. Shino thought he might enjoy a serving of the restaurant's ice-cream after he finished his meat instead.

"But even I don't have Shikamaru's number. Least not his current one."

"You don't?"

"Nah," Kiba took in the gyoza whole and spoke as he chewed, "but ah neber bothered doo update it, I hab 'im on my socials anyway."

"Oh."

He swallowed, "But you didn't even have any kind of social media until later in college. You were late to the game!"

"I didn't see the point then..."

"And that's fine. He probably doesn't even know you have them now. But you know he's been pretty absent from social media too. Figures."

"According to Ino, he's been back in town since April."

"Well of course Ino would know, she's always been in everyone else's business. Especially Shikamaru's, and Choji's too!"

Shino silently made a face, distorting the corner of his mouth as if reluctant to agree, but Kiba barked out a laugh when he caught him.

"It's true though, isn't it!? You would know, Shino!"

Shino didn't plan to be seen, but oh well, "I think it's just her way of showing she cares. Those three are practically family, aren't they?"

Kiba sighed and rolled his eyes, "Listen, dude, just cause you 'dated' her for a couple of years back in college doesn't mean you have to be nice after the fact. It's okay! She has her manipulative bitchy side too. How else could she make it as a therapist."

"Psychiatrist."

"That."

Kiba emphasized the word "dated" in such a way that caused Shino to scowl. Geez, if Ino didn't insist on sharing pictures online...

"Don't invalidate my opinions just because you think they're biased, Kiba. Also, people grow from high school, don't be stuck in the past either."

"I'm not saying it's invalid, geez, but ever since you've always been soft on her..."

"Jealous?"

Kiba immediately threw a dirtied, crumpled up napkin at Shino's head as he blew raspberries in disbelief. Of course Shino dodged it.

"And that!" Kiba almost yelled, though he had a huge smile on his face, "You're sass meter has been off the charts since then!"

"I thought I was just asking a question," Shino simply replied, though he smiled too.

"Fucking jerk," he crossed his arms and closed his eyes, sighing dreamily, "Why would I be jealous when I'm with Tamaki now?"

Shino suppressed the urge to crinkle up his nose, "I remember back in high schoo-"

"THAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL!!" Kiba interrupted, not upset but voice almost breaking in both embarrassment and amusement simultaneously, "Now who's the one stuck in the past!"

"Well anyway, I was just curious if you had heard from him recently, because this was the first time I had seen him since he was an undergrad. That was a while ago."

"Same here, bud. But then here's a thought, if he's just working these days, and he's giving out his number to old friends, maybe we should all get together sometime! So why don't you also friend him on socials while you're at it?"

Shino paused and considered the suggestion.

Shino could do that. Actually, Shino could have done so a long time ago if he had wanted to. But for all the times he had seen Shikamaru's obvious username and cloud icon, he never sent friend request himself. He created his socials for the sole purpose of studygroup based messaging and had planned to delete his social media after school ended for good. But two months in and Kiba somehow found him, and then shortly after Hinata did too. Then Naruto also found Shino and from there he actually aquired a few more friend requests, including from Lee and Sai. Even Ino sent him a friend request, though Ino and Shino had actually attended the same University in the beginning. And then she called him out on it the next time she saw him in person, because how could Shino friend nearly all their mutuals and NOT Ino? He even friended Sakura before Ino! Though, Shino had a suspicion Sakura's request may had been a result of clumsy typing. Shino definately hadn't meant anything by it, but that started a series of... interesting talks between the two. But all and all, Shino suspected that's why he saw Shikamaru's icon so often, among others he didn't quite recognize himself.

Of course Shino knew he didn't have to accept the requests at all. He could've delete them even. But... it didn't seem right to ignore them either. And maybe it felt... kinda nice being reached out to...

"I mean, shit, maybe I should shoot him a message too..." Kiba mused.

"... I was under the impression it was for Mirai's sake."

Kiba perked up, "Huh?"

"That's because a cellphone number is a personal and direct line. If Mirai is currently under my care as a student, wouldn't it make sense to have multiple contacts in case of an emergency?"

Kiba sighed. Typical Shino, "Did Shikamaru say it was strictly for emergencies only?"

"... No."

"So, Dude, maybe... just maybe, Shikamaru simply isn't aware that you have socials? I know I know... social media is meant to be for socializing, but so are direct lines! Why does a direct line have to be so off limits? You're not a stranger to Shikamaru either, Shino. I mean, if anything, he probably trusts you a lot, knowing the kind of person you've ways been. It's a personal line after all, right?"

Not a stranger, but definitely not the person closest the Shikamaru either... It didn't quite make sense beyond Mirai's safety... but, maybe that was Shino's own opinion...

"... I'm over thinking it again."

"Yup."

"... Maybe I will. I'm already friends with Ino and Choji..."

"Yeah! Just complete the trio! Here let's see..." Kiba took out his phone and started to review something, "... I think the only people you're not friends with besides Shikamaru are... Sasuke, who simply deleted everything at one point, Neji, but he really only followed me because of Hinata," Kiba added wearily, "aaand a lot of... other people... but, like, you're better off that way. I have a lot of those assholes blocked or didn't bother. Even Sasuke had been more better of an option than them!"

"Like who?"

"Like I had to block Shikamaru's psycho ex-girlfriend Tayuya. Fucking nightmare that girl was..."

"Ah... the flute player," Shino wasn't all that to date back in the day either, but even he knew about Tayuya...

"Sure that was YEARS ago, and maybe she's different now? But she was... not okay then. To be fair, Shikamaru wasn't blameless, but cripes... After the break-up she was constantly stalking him online... I've just kept her blocked for good measure, I don't know if she's still even there."

Another reason Shino didn't want social media at the time... It made it too easy to let people in. In all honesty the idea had felt overwhelming, and sometimes still does...

"So you're good there."

"Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji..."

"... Anyone else?"

"... I think those are the last few people from back then I'd actually tolerate. Shikamaru had been your friend, and Sasuke... wasn't always so aloof before he disappeared... And then Neji is Hinata's cousin..."

"Ha! Perfect! So then why not friend Neji too, just for the hell of it? You two had some kind of bro pact, I do remember that."

"He just worried about Hinata, Kiba. Between you and Naruto, I could see why."

"Sue me Shino, it's not my fault the school was full of cute girls!" Kiba nearly whined, but with a ridiculously dopey smile on his face.

It made Shino think. Shikamaru was one of the only people he more regularly saw who didn't reach out to him. But of course Shikamaru had a problem with a stalker at one point. That would make anyone weary of social media. Kiba had even stated he wasn't on much. Shino couldn't fault him for that.

Sasuke apparently deleted his, but it wasn't like they were the closet to begin with, despite humble beginnings. Shino had his fair share of complaints when it came to Sasuke, but when he transferred to a different school before senior year started, even Shino felt his absence.

And recalling high school, Neji did once ask for Shino's socials before. But it was obviously for the same reason of wanting to keep extra tabs on his little cousin and her "new friends" in Environmental Club. Shino had already explained he didn't have any, and he wasn't sure Neji believed him, but had agreed to be very careful with Hinata, who had started to hang out with he and Kiba more after they returned her book she had left in the club classroom. Shino kept it as Kiba was terribly tempted to take a peek, but once it had been returned, and Kiba expressed his curiosity, Hinata shyly presented them with page after page of pressed flowers, all marked with name, date, and little tidbits of info. She became even more bashful at Kiba's amazement and Shino's praise. It was just very well organized and aesthetically pleasing, something she and Ino would bond over later into their friendships.

So then, it was very surprising to know that such a timid girl had an incredible amount of skill in Martial Arts, but had opted to join Environment Club instead of Martial Arts Club. It was less of a shock to find out she and the school's Number One MAC member were related, first cousins even. They had a strong resemblance to each other.

As for Shino and Neji, their mutual fondness for Hinata became a source of camaraderie at some point. Despite expectations and Neji's sterness, all he really wanted was for Hinata to simply have fun during school, and he very much appreciated Shino looking out for her. So Kiba wasn't wrong. And in current time, Hinata had ultimately decided she was gonna live out of town due to... many reasons, but mainly because of her job as a pastry chef in a very successful and family owned cafe and bakery. Of course cinnamon rolls were her specialty, but Shino's feed always had some of the most delightful pictures of various decorated confections, most made by her too. He wasn't the biggest fan of sweets in general, but he was very fond of her handy work. You could tell she loved her job with every detail.

"Crap! Hey Shino, did you wanna order anything to go?"

"Uh, no. I think that was enough."

"Alright cause it's about time I go meet Tamaki," Kiba grinned, "Here's my part!"

Kiba slammed a twenty dollar bill down onto the table and hurriedly put his jacket back on. When Shino looked at the time it was nearly half past six. Oh, the reservation was made for seven. Maybe he talked too much.

"We might've pushed it, Kiba."

"No way, it's fine! I mean I don't mind going if that's where she wants to go, but you know how fancy places are! I need food Shino, actual food!"

Shino was glad that his friend was putting in so much effort for this girl. It seemed like he really liked her, and she was pretty cute, and also... nice. But when it came to things like this, Shino wasn't sure how long this was really gonna last. But it probably wasn't his place to comment.

"Make sure Akamaru takes his medicine, he'll definitely down it if you give him the peanut butter too."

"Sure, no problem."

"Also, Shino."

"Yes?"

"Seriously, don't be so shy! Just friend them!"

"Stop dawdling, you're gonna be late."

Kiba laughed as he waved and nearly jogged out of the restaurant. After paying and boxing the rest of Kibas plate for later (Shino was sure his idiot friend was gonna be hungry again) Shino headed out to Kiba's apartment. He already had a key, ever since he had come back to town. They had always been close like that, though with these new developments Shino always made it a point to give Kiba space and a heads up.

Akamaru was getting old. This medicine was supposed to help him in his old age, and just as Kiba said, Akamaru took the medication with no problem. Shino also made sure that the bowls were full of water and food. Because there was now also Akemaru, a younger dog of the same breed that Kiba had come across one day at the shelter. After only a few weeks and no adoptions, Kiba couldn't resist and ended up adopting him, and he and Akamaru became very close. As a favor to their otherwise absent owner, Shino got the younger and more energetic dog ready for a walk. When Shino offered to take Akamaru, the old boy wagged his tail and came to lick Shino's hand, but then retreated back to his bed and laid down. Looks like that was gonna be a pass, but he was thankful for the offer.

...

Shit.

Okay. Okay, that was it. Actually, this was perfect. Before Shino really started the walk, he pulled out his phone. He scrolled through he recommended friends list of his most commonly used social and easily found the cloud icon that belonged to Shikamaru. It was the same app he even had people like Kurenai and his father on. Just being able to keep anyone of relevance to his social circles on the same app was fine. It kept them close, but not too close either. Available, but at a distance. The only other people who had Shino's personal line were Kiba, Hinata, Kurenai, his father Shibi, Torune and Neji.

Shino hadn't mentioned that to Kiba, but in reality, they hadn't kept much contact anyway. So Shino hoped Kiba didn't snoop his friends list later, but he decidedly sent Shikamaru a friend request and put his phone away into a pocket. Then after switching out his glasses, as to see better in the evening, he left the apartment and began his walk with Akemaru. This would definitely keep him from getting too anxious about it. Shino didn't really know why he was like this, but it was done and now it was up the Shikamaru if he really wanted to catch up. Not that there was a whole lot to catch up on. He was more Kiba's friend after all, always had been, but Shino was sure Kiba didn't really think about that kind if thing too deeply.

Thankfully there was a park a couple blocks down, which even in the evening looked easy to navigate. The air was fresh and chilly, but tolerable with his coat on. Akemaru was good on a leash, and so Shino was able to keep a steady but not rushed pace. He followed a predetermined path, one Shino was actually familiar with too and so he was able to relax as his body went into coast mode.

...

It was nice. Just focusing on the walk. But Shino couldn't help thinking back to his high school days too. Seeing Shikamaru hadn't really been a shock so much as a surprise. He definitely... grew. His voice was deeper. His hair seemed more or less the same length, but maybe looked longer as now he styled it differently. Instead of the low and rather disheveled ponytail he used to wear, he now kept it only half up it looked like. Shino didn't think it looked bad at all, but with some loose strands in his face and the more casual clothes he had been wearing, Shino really wondered if Shikamaru wasn't more or less dragged last minute to PTN. But maybe he was thinking of the Shikamaru from before. Because this Shikamaru was actually... really approachable. And very kind with his words. Maybe that's what growing up some did to people.

Because the one from before was always annoyed, and grumpy, and quiet unless spoken to, yet Naruto and his shenanigans always put a mischievous smirk on his face. Shino had found him a little intimidating. But it wasn't until Kiba and Naruto decided to drag Shino AND Hinata out to a lunchtime hangout and pretty much threw them into the mix of different friends they shared that Shino met Shikamaru, as well as most everyone else. Shino had recognized Ino, and Ino did too after he mentioned Torune, seeing as Torune and Foo both graduated the year before.

"Torune? Like, short black hair, really thick glasses?"

"He has green eyes too."

"Hey, yeah! You're my cousin's boyfriend's cousin! What a small world!"

It was pretty lame introduction.

"And... you're Ino, right?"

"Wow, Ino, he remembered you!" a pink haired girl chastised.

"Oh, shut up, Forehead, it's not like we ever really hung out before. I think we met, like, once at one of Foo's birthdays?"

"That's true," Shino agreed, "I just went for the drive to drop off his present since that day he couldn't stay. You're mom insisted on giving us goodie bags anyway before we left."

"Ugh, good, our parents always go over the top with the decorations and stuff, believe me!"

"Ino, you are over the top."

"Shikamaru, no one was talking to you!"

"Wait, wait wait, your cousin Foo has a boyfriend?"

"Yeah, what of it," Ino immediately scowled at Kiba.

It made Kiba shut up immediately, but then he turned to Shino and whispered, "Hey, is your cousin gay?"

Shino shrugged, "I didn't ask, but it's none of my business." He was. Shino had known but Torune never outright told him they were officially dating. So as far as he was concerned it was a mystery.

"What about you, Hinata, I don't think we've met before. I'm Sakura."

"Um, hello-"

"Actually! We're in Home Ec together!" another boy munching on chips said, "She made the best cinnamon rolls in class the other day!"

Hinata blushed, "Ah, thank-you, Choji..."

"Cinnoman rolls!? I saw that that roll! Hinata, that was yours!?" Naruto asked, super impressed.

She only blushed even harder, "It might've been...!?"

"It was!" Choji confirmed.

"Naruto stop crowding already!" Sakura scolded, poking him against the side of his forehead, "You can be so loud!"

"Augh, alright, Sakura stop!"

It had actually been a relatively friction free integration. Hinata and the girls got along faster than he would've guessed, and later Shino and Sasuke would meet again, with Naruto giving Shino a suspicious stink-eye.

"We've been in the same classes since elementary school," Shino commented, "You have to really go out of your way to ignore someone for that long..."

"Hn..." As friendly as always...

...

From then on, Kiba always insisted on Shino and Hinata joining them at lunch, which Shino did. But Shino couldn't quite fathom the idea of sacrificing his after school time to go to out and do... well, who even knew? Back then, he had a routine, he had things to tend to back home. His terrariums that his father put him in charge of, his guitar practice because he wasn't about to let those lessons go to waste, his study time, and planning for EC activities as he was a more involved member, he was already a busy guy. At least that's what he used to think. But he would be a sad ass liar if he didn't appreciate the invitations. Towards the end he broke a few time at his father's insistence. He was mentally drained each time, but he did have fun, and Kiba always seemed excited to recall the events with Shino after.

Once he had attended collage, Shino really wished he would have taken more time to simply enjoy a more decent social life with the people he called friends at school outside of school. Was he too shy? Was he too selective? Was he socially inept? It didn't matter now. It wasn't until Shino's very first job that he felt like he got to a level he wished he could've reached sooner. Being a cashier at a fast food chain really taught you how to handle and tolerate people, and definitely brought Shino out if his shell more than he would've ever thought. College in general did a lot for him in that respect.

... Kiba was right. If old friends were reaching out, why couldn't Shino do the same?

Well, apparently the universe was glad he agreed, because the second he did, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

Shino stopped in place and Akemaru whined. When he checked his phone, he saw not only a "Request Accepted" message but also a simple text message as well, also from Shikamaru.

-----

Hey, can you talk? Call me if you can.

-----

Oh what the fuck.

Shino felt his nerves stand at attention with the prospect of a sudden conversation. What... What did Shikamaru even want right now? Did he really want to talk now?

... No. No, dammit, no! Not this time. Shino took a deep breath and continued to walk, much to Akemaru's delight. And as he got a steady rhythm, Shino highlighted Shikamaru's number and pressed "Call".

It was settled. If he was gonna start making up for lost time, it was now or never, awkward interactions be damned!

[monbangisland]

WANT by Lala

Chapter II

Y/N’s P.O.V

I woke up at the sound of keys in the door lock. It must be my roomie. I got up from my bed and took a quick glance in the mirror. The heck! I look horrible! Purple bags growing under my eyes due to the jet lag, messy hair and I really needed some waxing done all over my face. The door cracked open and this is how I was going to receive my new and maybe my only friend.

I heard footsteps and tires rolling across the little hall. I was still in my little space trying to hide, but it was impossible. 

“Hello? Is there someone in here?” - a sweet but manly voice called out. Wait… A-a man?? I was hoping for a girl to be my roommate. I mean I don’t have problems with having a boy as a roommate, but it’s not common. 

I walked to the door of my room and peeked to check if I was right. A guy with perfect slim body was standing in the middle of the living room, checking his phone. His blonde hair looked as soft as a baby’s hair and his lips were plump and rosy with expressive eyes. His skin looked so perfect, like angels would take care of it. Actually, he seems really handsome. He turns and finds me looking at him and smiles sweetly at me.

“Oh, there you are. Y/L/N Y/N it’s a pleasure to meet you” - he says coming closer  with a huge smirk on his face. When he was close enough, he bowed showing his respect. I bowed and smiled at him. He laughed when he looked at my shyness and pulled me into a tight hug. He smelled nice; his scent was sweet and citrus, it was perfect for him.

“Don’t be shy Y/N, we’re going to live together so we have to trust each other ok? I’m Park Jimin” - he pulled away and gave me a flirty smile. I blushed harder, causing him to burst into laughter. 

“Y/N sweety, you’re so cute” - he pinched my cheeks hard

“Ouch, it hurts” - I pouted.

He came closer to me. I stood there, completely frozen. He studied my face carefully, every single detail of it. After a few minutes, he finally spoke. 

“It looks like you need a long session at the spa and a whole makeover, bitch. Those bags under your eyes are killing your beautiful face and we’re starting Uni so if you want to find a man you gotta start making yourself look better. So, get your butt in the bathroom while I put my things in my room” - he turned around and left.

I did as he said, I went to my bathroom and showered. When I was done I went to my closet to look for something to wear. I chose an ochre crop top sweater, black high waisted ripped jeans and black leather ankle boots. I lightly blow-dried my hair and went to the living room. Jimin was already waiting for me.

“Well damn, this is what I’m talking about. Now come on, we’ll grab breakfast on our way to the spa. If we go now, we’ll be back in time for the welcome party” - we took our bags and left out apartment. 

Park Jimin was pretty interesting. He was part of the Arts College and dancing was his specialization. He was in the top three best students of the Arts College. Popular as fuck. Everyone wanted to be his friend and wanted to be with him. Even the women working in the spa got nervous in his presence. He was so flirty that they fell for him instantly.

When we were done he looked at me

“BITCH YOU LOOK DIVINE!” - I laughed at his reaction, he was covering his mouth with his hands and lifted his shoulders.

“Jimin, oh my God, Did I look that bad before?” - I asked pretending to be offended. 

“Believe me dear, you looked like a monkey” - he laughed dramatically. 

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. He was right. I looked completely different now. Due to the rushing of going here and there and my jet lag I didn’t have the chance to fix myself properly. I was about to begin a new chapter in my life looking like a complete disaster. But thanks to him, Park Jimin, I’m a brand new girl.

“Hey you, stop looking at yourself. It’s getting late” - Jimin said while taking my hand. 

We payed and headed out of the spa, going back to our campus. On our way back, we met a few of his friends. He politely introduced me to them. I saw different reactions: some of them greeted me and then started whispering about me to each other.  Some of them just said hi and left and some didn’t not even bother looking at me.

I was completely used to it. Jimin noticed that I wasn’t mad nor affected by their actions, he looked at me with curiosity and smiled. We were getting close to the Music College when he pulled me close and said to me “You can smile and talk to everyone but you can’t trust them” I looked at him and he winked at me. I smiled at him, knowing and understanding what he meant. 

Suddenly someone shouted his name, we both turned around to look at the person. It was a tall and slim guy with brown hair. He was wearing a jean jacket, loose jeans, a white t-shirt, converse, glasses and a huge smile. One of the things that called my attention was the dimple on his left cheek. He was pretty confident and elegant, but at the same time you could see he was a little clumsy. 

“Namjoon Hyung!” -Jimin greeted him happily. Namjoon came closer and gave Jimin a tight hug. It was like they hadn’t seen each other in ages. 

“Nice to see you again, bro” - said Namjoon smiling at Jimin. 

“How was your vacation in Italy?” - Jimin asked. 

“It was nice, my mom and my sister enjoyed going there. They didn’t want to come back, but we had to. And you, did you have fun in Japan?” - Namjoon asked Jimin with a teasing smile.

“Hyung, we’re talking about that later, with all the details” - Jimin said laughing. 

“Ok ok, anyway who’s this beautiful lady next to you?” - Namjoon asked looking and smiling at you

“Oh right, she’s Y/L/N Y/N. She’s from Y/C and she’s part of the new students in the Music College now. And… she’s my roommate” - Jimin said with a wide smile plastered on his face

“Why you always get cute roommates like her? This is unfair… it’s a pleasure to meet you Y/N, I’m Kim Namjoon” - he bowed and you did the same.

“The pleasure is all mine, Kim Namjoon” - I answered.

“Just call me Namjoon, we can be friends if you want” - he winked at me.

“I would love to” - I called smiling at him. 

“Well guys, I’ll leave you here. I must go to my College to the welcome party. See you later Y/N. Namjoon hyung, take care of her” - Jimin said giving me a hug and leaving.

“Come on Y/N, let’s get inside. The welcome party is about to start” - Namjoon said and we both started walking inside the building.

Namjoon asked me to sit down wherever I wanted. I sat at the end of the group of students. Only one person sat in the same line as me. It was a guy. I didn’t look at him, my eyes were fixed on Namjoon. I could feel his gaze on me though. When I looked back at him I realized that it was the guy from the other day, the guy from the coffee shop. He looked hotter today than that day but I just decided to ignore it and looked back at Namjoon.

Namjoon stood in front of the whole group of students, ready to give the welcome speech to the new students and to the ones that were ready to begin another semester in the college. He was the president of the student council in the Music College, everybody loved him. His words were really motivational and inspirational. When he finished the speech, cheers and applauses filled the room. He asked for silence because there was still a message from the director from the university that we must listen. The video was played and when it finished, the real party started.

Namjoon asked everyone to come to the centre of the hall. When we were all in the centre, we made little circles to share our names and our majors, this was a way of getting to know each other. As we were in the little circles, beers and soju started to roll all over the hall. As I needed help with talking and calming my nervous-self so  I took a bottle of beer and drank the half of it.

“Easy there, you could get drunk easily ” - A raspy voice said behind me

“What made you think I can get drunk easily?” - I asked. I turned around to face the source of the voice. Again, it was him, the guy from the coffee shop

“You don’t seem to be a lady that drinks too much” - he said taking a sip of his beer. 

“You don’t seem like a guy who talks too much” - I snapped back.

“Well, you got me there” - he laughed sarcastically.

He looked down at me. No, he didn’t look at me, he checked me out. He studied every single part of my body, licking his lips in the process. My cheeks turned red, I could feel how a strange and overwhelming feeling crossed all my body. I couldn’t let him know that he affected me that way.

“Hey, my eyes are here” - I said, making him look back at my face.

“I know” - he had a stupid grin on his face, I wanted to erase it so bad. 

“So, what were you looking at? Did you lose something?” - I asked. 

“No, but I did find something new” - he smiled proudly. I rolled my eyes and walked away, leaving him standing there, alone.

I drank the rest of the beer, dropped the bottle in the trash and looked for another one. I joined one of the circles and introduced myself. We greeted each other and when we were done the circle was undone. I clearly could notice the groups of friends that were already settled between the new students. The hall was just a small amount of people now and suddenly music started playing. The groups started to move and the hall turned into a dance floor.

Gosh, I love dancing. But it’s kind of weird doing it alone. I finished my second beer and looked around, feeling kinda lonely. I thought of joining Namjoon, but he looked really busy with a girl so I didn’t want to interrupt. I walked out of the hall and decided to go back to my apartment. 

“Going home so early?” - that raspy voice asked. He was leaning over the wall, outside the entrance of the building of the Music College

“None of your business” - I replied and looked at him

“I’m just trying to be friendly since you don’t know anyone in here, but if that’s how you treat everyone then…” - he said arrogantly. 

“I don’t think that checking me out is being friendly” - I brought back what happened earlier inside the welcome party.

“Are you telling me that I’m not allowed to check anybody out?” - he raised one eyebrow while speaking.

I couldn’t say anything. He was right, we all checked out someone, even girls do that. I stayed silent and looked at him. His smile, proud but small, was plastered over his pale and small face. His long black hair covered his small eyes, which at the same time were giving me the strongest and the most intense gaze I have ever faced in my whole life. 

“See, you know I’m right. I’m allowed to check you out. So why don’t you check me out? That way we are even…” - he suggested smirking.

“I-I won’t do that” - I replied nervously.

“That’s a shame, you’re losing an once in a lifetime chance” - he likes teasing me.

“Yeah maybe. I’ll regret it tomorrow, but for today I’m good. So if you don’t mind, I’ll get going” - I said and started walking

“Wait. You’re such a disrespectful brat” - he said shaking his head with disapproval.

“ME? what about you?” - I snapped angrily at him.

“We’ve been doing the whole ‘presenting each other’ thing the whole night, but you never told me your name, lady” - he took a sip of the bottle he was holding. 

“I won’t say my name if you won’t say yours” - I told him.

“Why do you want to know my name?” - he asked and laughed 

“Why do you want to know mine?” - I asked looking at him. He licked his lips and the weird overwhelming sensation of heat appeared again in my body.

“Just Curious”- He said. I didn’t said anything nor did he. 

We stood there looking at each other, waiting for one of us to give up. But he had something that was starting to drive this crazy sensation over and over again all over me. It’s like heat spreading, like if he has something that wakes a part of me that has been asleep for a long time. His scent was making me go crazy, I felt lost every time I smelt it. I was about to give up when he finally spoke.

“Min Yoongi” - he said with a tone barely audible.

“Pardon?” - I asked him.

“My name is Min Yoongi” - he said. 

“My name is Y/L/N Y/N” - I told him.

“Well Y/L/N Y/N. As you asked for my name, make sure to remember it clearly. And I’ll make sure you won’t be able to forget it either” - he said and winked at me. He started walking, leaving me there, astonished, in the middle of the night. 

[shandragdotson]

The Law of Fiscal Inertia 101

The law of fiscal inertia holds true whether you’re a chronic over-spender, a nascent budgeter or an English physicist. Changing the course you’re on is hard. We fear change. Even the good kind. That’s why we always put stuff off until tomorrow.

But that thing you’re putting off? It’s bound to stay put off.

For me, living by the “I’ll do it tomorrow” method is how I nearly got evicted from my tiny apartment in Brooklyn. It’s why I silently uttered the “Well, I hope this works out” prayer before every credit card payment. And it’s why I was plagued by this seemingly intractable, free-floating anxiety for most of my life—up until a few years ago when I discovered YNAB.

Until that point, I’d buried my head in the sand (and by “sand,” of course, I mean “suffocating mountains of debt.”)

My finances were a mess because I continually delayed putting them in order. The way I saw it, I was broke. I didn’t have enough money to cover all my expenses in the first place, so I paid what I could, when I could, and I did my best not to feel overwhelmed by the stack of second notices sitting unopened on my desk. Knowing exactly how broke I was didn’t seem like it would make much difference, so I refused to take honest stock of my expenses.

But it did make a difference—a costly one. It cost me in interest rate hikes and late fees. Worst of all, it cost me my peace of mind. The irony was that peace of mind is exactly what I was trying to achieve by ignoring my problems. Turns out treating financial anxiety with ice cream and Netflix isn’t super helpful when you’re living paycheck-to-paycheck.

Something Had to Change: Me

As I was trying to figure out how I could manage my student loan payments and how long I could survive on brown rice and Top Ramen, a close friend and a trusted source told me he had started keeping a budget. Cool story, bro. Must be nice to have so much money you need to figure out what to do with it all.

In spite of my seething envy, however, I listened and was ultimately convinced. It’s not like I hadn’t fantasized about moving into a better apartment—one of those “drenched in natural light” spots. I just hadn’t found the perfect time to start saving for a security deposit.

And that’s the thing: We’re always looking for the perfect time to squirrel money away for a new car, an apartment, a house or to start a family. Perfect timing rarely happens, but it is something that you can create. It’s called prioritizing, and the first step is opening your eyes. That’s what my buddy convinced me to do.

So, I logged into my bank account and got started.

I Started with a Single Brick

Getting a hold of my finances seemed like a monster of a task at first. Looking back on it, now, I’m reminded of a passage from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert Pirsig.

Pirsig, a college English teacher, tells a story about one of his former students. She’d struggled to write 500 words about the United States, so he asked that she narrow her focus to Bozeman, Montana, her hometown. Once again, she struggled with writer’s block. He suggested she try writing about the main road in town. Still nothing. It wasn’t until Pirsig prompted her to write about a single brick of the local Opera House that her struggle passed, and she was able to complete the assignment—all 5,000 words of it.

And that’s how I started my budget, with a single brick: my humble bank balance.

Then, I identified the next brick: what bills I needed to pay before my next paycheck.

Over the next few months, my wife and I developed a nerdy routine. We sat down every Friday night and took stock of our finances. We made sure every dollar to our name had a job.

My New Normal

I started thinking about my money more often than I ever had before. It was uncomfortable, at first. Was this how the rest of my life was going to be, constantly obsessing about money? Keeping track of every cup of coffee I buy?

Yes, and no. Keep it up, and your new money habits become second nature. OK, but what about the obsession with money? That’s where my life underwent a profound adjustment. First off, it wasn’t actually an obsession, it was just awareness. (Not burying your head in the sand is a strange sensation, to the uninitiated.)

After months of this new discipline, I noticed something. Every month, I’d write the rent check and drop it into the mail … that was it. I wasn’t overwhelmed with anxiety. I didn’t say my usual, “hope this works out” prayer. I knew it would work out. I knew we had the money in the bank and, even more importantly, I knew we had more money in the bank. Not only could I pay this month’s rent, but we also had the gas and cable bills budgeted for.

Something else happened, too. Just by being more aware of how I was spending money, I started spending less, without feeling limited.

This Isn’t The Lotto

There’s no trick to saving money, you just have to spend less than you earn. Keeping a budget will help. Making YNAB’s Four Rules a part of your daily life is not a get rich quick template. It’s better—it’s a stay solvent forever method.

For as long as I’ve been aware of money, I was always paranoid about not having enough of it. My first money-related memory is from when I was about five. I’d been given a lecture about the value of a dollar (and that I couldn’t go to the video store and rent Chuck Norris’ epic, Sidekicks, again).

I no longer live that way (the paranoia part, not the Chuck Norris fandom, obviously). Now, Newton’s First Law of Motion is working for me, instead of against me. I’ve developed some healthy spending habits. And I still get my ice cream and movie nights.

Ryan Sit is a writer and journalist who previously covered politics and money at Newsweek magazine and criminal justice at the New York Daily News. He’s a New York City transplant from the San Francisco-Bay Area in the perennial search for good tacos. Check out his work at TheRyanSit.com

The post The Law of Fiscal Inertia 101 appeared first on YNAB.

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[interwebs-ao3-feed]

the firsts and lasts

by mia3000

Peter Parker was a lot of firsts for you, first kiss, boyfriend, first person you thought of when you woke up, but he was the last person you thought would hurt you like this

Words: 2013, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Peter Parker, Reader, Dad, Tony Stark, May Parker (Spider-Man), Pepper Potts, Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, Random

Relationships: Peter Parker/Reader, Tony Stark/Reader, Peter Parker/Tony Stark, Peter Parker/other girl, May Parker (Spider-Man)/Reader, Happy Hogan/Reader, Michelle Jones/Reader, Ned Leeds/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, a lot of it trust me, first chapter, Fluff, fluff here and there, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, College Student Peter, College Student Peter Parker, tony stark and reader are bros, Established Relationship, peter no, a n g s t, My First Fanfic, I'm so bad at this, Peter Parker Loves Tony Stark

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/24437584

[tekmodetech]

It’s the Jons 2017! | TechCrunch

Comfortable New 12 months! It’s been a transformational 12 months in tech. The golden period of startups ended. Sorry about that. The tech business lastly rolled over a giant rock it had ignored and/or leaned on for years, and uncovered the squirming morass of sexual harassment beneath. We witnessed main AI breakthroughs, a cryptocurrency megaboom, actually actually self-driving automobiles, and 18 SpaceX launches.

However the Jons aren’t about these form of accomplishments. The Jons, an annual award named (in an awe-inspiring match of humility) after myself, have fun tech’s extra doubtful achievers — and hoo boy oh boy have been there a number of these this 12 months. So let’s get to it! With little or no additional ado, I provide you with: the third annual Jon Awards for Doubtful Technical Achievement!

(The Jons 2015) (The Jons 2016)

THE WHOLE WORLD OWES THIS GUY AN APOLOGY BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE ISN’T A LUNATIC AWARD FOR REVEALING THE TRUTH WHICH IS ACTUALLY OUT THERE, WELL KINDA, BUT STILL I MEAN HOLY SHIT

To Tom DeLonge of Blink-182, whose apparently delusional disquisitions a couple of secret Deep State authorities group devoted to monitoring UFOs and harboring mysterious and presumably otherworldly alloys in warehouses, and many others. and many others. and many others., turned out to be, extremely, not less than half true, per the New York Occasions’s revelation that such a program did exist till 2012. However wait, there’s extra! That program’s principals at the moment are employed by — that’s proper — DeLonge himself. WTF. Does this imply UFOs are actual? In all probability not. Was this program pure pork? Very presumably. Is that this nonetheless probably the most glorious story of 2017? You betcha.

THE IF YOU DISRESPECT THE SACRAMENT OF LINEAR REGRESSION ONE MORE TIME I WILL GET OLD TESTAMENT ON YOU AWARD FOR TRULY GODLIKE SELF-REGARD

To Anthony Levandowski, former “Alphabet self-driving automotive impresario” turned “Otto CEO” turned “Uber self-driving automotive impresario” turned “man within the dock staring down an entire heap of legal trouble which in flip unearthed much more jaw-droppingly bad Uber behavior,” however imagine it or not that’s what this award is even about:

Two years ago, ‘Levandowski based a non secular group, Means of the Future, to “develop and promote the belief of a Godhead based mostly on Synthetic Intelligence.” And other people say tech is secular! I for one stay up for a novel authorized protection arguing that the secular authorities ought to recuse themselves fully from his case due to their lengthy problematic historical past of bewilderment and suppressing God’s prophets.

THE IF WE COULD PUT DRM ON AIR WE WOULD AND DON’T THINK WE AREN’T THINKING ABOUT IT AWARD FOR COMMODIFYING THE UNCOMMODIFIABLE

It was dangerous sufficient when Juicero utilized DRM to juice earlier than flaming out spectacularly. Worse but when DRM was accountable for the virtual genocide of Second Life’s puffins and rabbits. However Reefill actually took the cake, or, as Marie Antoinette may put it, ate the brioche: they need individuals to pay for the suitable to unlock tap water stations. I certain stay up for our air filters that should be fed quarters/satoshis each few hours in order that we don’t should breathe the uncooked polluted mutagenic biohazard air of our courageous new DRMed dystopian future.

THE WE’RE VERY EXCITED THAT OUR TERRIBLE ARTICLE HAS STARTED SUCH AN INTENSE CONVERSATION THOUGH ADMITTEDLY ON CLOSER INSPECTION IT DOES SEEM TO CONSIST OF EVERY EXPERT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD TELLING US WE DONE FUCKED UP AWARD FOR OVERSTANDING YOUR JOURNALISTIC GROUND

To The Guardian — for many years, considered one of my favourite, most-trusted, most-read information organizations, for whom I’ve written myself — for his or her colossal WhatsApp screwup, which, inexplicably and indefensibly, took them 5 months to accept and semi-sorta-kinda-retract, regardless of an ongoing refrain of fury and horror from principally each safety knowledgeable alive all through that interval. For disgrace.

THE THROW THEM UNDER THE BUS AWARD FOR THE BUCK STOPPING, UH, OVER THERE SOMEWHERE

To Equifax’s former CEO, Richard Smith, who blamed the huge safety breach that uncovered 143 million Social Safety numbers and many others. on one engineer not doing their job, relatively than on, oh, say, the individual accountable for a company construction so pathological that the safety of the corporate’s information — and information administration is that this multibillion-dollar firm’s one job — wound up being delegated to a single individual with no oversight or backup.

THE IF YOU LIKED IT YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A BLOCKCHAIN ON IT AWARD FOR BEST CORPORATE REBRAND

To the Lengthy Island Iced Tea comnpany, an unprofitable micro-cap soft-drink producer which eleven days in the past abruptly rebranded itself Long Blockchain Corp and promptly noticed its inventory soar 500%. Now that’s a pivot!

THE DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK AWARD FOR MOST TONE-DEAF ATTEMPT TO TURN DISGRACE INTO A BUSINESS MODEL

To former VC Justin Caldbeck, who retired in shame after an array of accusations of sexual harassment, after which, not 5 months later, tried to reinvent himself as a motivational speaker warning college students concerning the risks of “bro culture” whereas additionally sending more-or-less form emails to individuals “who’ve expressed public curiosity and a ardour for this house,” asking for recommendation concerning “the web site that I’m making which is meant to be a [information about sexual harassment] useful resource.”

THE IT SEEMS PRETTY WIFTY AT FIRST BUT ON CONSIDERATION MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE THESE AROUND EVERY CORNER AWARD FOR MOST INNOVATIVE CONFERENCE FEATURE

To the MAPS Psychedelic Science convention I covered earlier this 12 months, and particularly its Therapeutic Oasis zone for these for whom, uhhhh, the stresses of, uhhhh, the subject material may need grow to be slightly an excessive amount of. However you realize what, the Ethereal blockchain convention just a few months later had a yoga and chill-out zone too. Is that this a pattern? Will future tech conferences embrace periods that consist largely of chanting in Haskell and new asanas named “The Drone,” “The Blockchain,” and “The Web Of Issues”? We are able to however hope.

THE YOU DO HAVE A HISTORY OF BEING A LITTLE UNCLEAR ON BASIC ECONOMIC CONCEPTS AWARD FOR SILLIEST MAJOR CRYPTOCURRENCY PROPOSAL

Observe that weasel world main in there, however, I imply, c’mon, in any other case we’d be right here all day: the federal government of Venezuela needs to challenge a Proof-of-Work cryptocurrency backed by 5 billion barrels of oil. That is apparently not a joke. It’s, nevertheless, very foolish. I’ll let “Marmot Man” Preston J. Byrne clarify exactly why:

That is absurd. The place an issuer will be recognized (say, a sovereign) and the factor being purchased and offered comes with authorized rights (say, dividends from oil manufacturing), you obviate the necessity for mining. For those who’re a rustic, the form of system you need to run is a permissioned system the place you management the validators, not an open system that may be hijacked by a bunch of nameless electrical energy thieves in China.”

THE MATH IS BAD AND MUST BE BANNED MMMKAY AWARD FOR FAILING TO UNDERSTAND THE LIMITS OF DEMOCRATIC POWER

To all of the clueless morons who maintain hoping to ban end-to-end encryption, most notably the present UK authorities. Repeat after me: encryption is math. What’s extra, many implementations of that math are open-source. You can not ban math. For those who drive some firms to take away math from their software program, individuals who need to use math will simply use totally different software program which does have math. All you’ll do is strip the advantages of math from the individuals for whom math is an ancillary relatively than major profit. Everybody will lose. Please cease being idiots.

(UK authorities readers: please substitute “math” with “maths” within the above paragraph to help comprehension. I’d assume this goes with out saying however, nicely, this doesn’t seem like the case in case you are a part of the UK authorities.)

THE HOKEY INTELLIGENCE AND TECHNICAL COMPETENCE ARE NO MATCH FOR IGNORANT BIGOTRY, KID AWARD FOR CONFUSING WANTING SOMETHING WITH BEING ABLE TO DO IT

To the alt-right’s “parallel Internet,” which has grow to be a land of: “ghost cities, with few lively customers and no apparent supervision. As expertise merchandise, many are second- or third-rate, with lengthy load instances, damaged hyperlinks and frequent error messages.” I’m shocked, shocked, that livid bigotry is inversely correlated with intelligence and technical competence.

THE PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN, THE FINE PRINT IN THE CONTRACT, OR THE CURIOUS BEHAVIOR OF THE WEREWOLF IN THE NIGHT-TIME AWARD FOR MYSTERIOUS FINANCIAL SHENANIGANS

To the … a number of entities … a few of whom appear to be associated indirectly to the Bitfinex change, and the Tether cryptocurrency, who’ve apparently been engaged in an entire galaxy of shady, sketchy, manipulative, and/or market-warping cryptofinancial habits over the past 12 months or so, as doggedly and faithfully documented by but one other nameless entity generally known as Bitfinexed, by way of the latter’s Medium posts and Twitter feed. Received a bunch of free time and an curiosity in monetary skulduggery? Then I encourage you to dive down that rabbit gap and marvel at what you discover.

THE FEET, LEGS, TORSO, ARMS, AND HEAD OF CLAY AWARD FOR THE FARTHEST FALL FROM GRACE TO FARCE

To Julian Assange, who over the past seven years has gone from a radical “we open governments” cipherpunk hero to a more-or-less Putin apologist and obvious misogynist obsessed with Hillary Clinton who’s now fundraising by selling CryptoKitties. The road between whimsical and pathetic is, I’m afraid, someplace again thataway.

THE CALLING ME A CONSPIRACY THEORIST MEANS YOU’RE PART OF THE CONSPIRACY AWARD FOR MOST SELF-AGGRANDIZINGLY DELUSIONAL WORLDVIEW

Collectively awarded to Eric Garland, Seth Abramson, and Louise Mensch, whose breathless, incoherent, interminable, and constantly flawed Twitter tweetstorms, which principally attempt to remix actuality with badly written Hollywood authorized/political thrillers, exemplify an entire new form of train-wreck political efficiency artwork knowledgeable by spectacular lack of self-awareness.

Mensch is probably probably the most unhinged of the three, however Garland is first amongst equals, as a result of a) he apparently believes there’s a million-dollar conspiracy to label him a conspiracy theorist and b) within the months and months and numerous, limitless tweets since he first rose to prominence together with his “Guys, it’s time for some recreation concept” tweet, he has nonetheless, as far as I can inform, by no means really mentioned any recreation concept. As such his award shall include a bonus shaggy-dog bobblehead.

THE REALLY IT DIDN’T EVEN SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME TO BE HONEST AWARD FOR THE MOST ILL-CHOSEN TATTOO

“Welcome to the future: Your tattoo has a EULA…”

Welcome to the long run: Your tattoo has a EULA that notes it’s topic to DMCA takedowns, won’t work (and features provided that you pay $30 activation+$10 per 12 months), topic to getting hacked, and the app firm owns all content material you add http://pic.twitter.com/UODaIq2hTk

— Jason Koebler (@jason_koebler) December 23, 2017

THE THAT’LL SHOW THEM AWARD FOR THE MOST INEFFECTIVE ACT OF TECHNO-POLITICAL DEFIANCE

To your entire parliament of the Republic of Chechnya, who stop Instagram en masse in solidarity with their chief, notoriously brutal thug Ramzan Kadyrov, after he was kicked off the platform. As a consequence of this daring transfer … no, cling on, turns on the market have been no penalties in any respect, until you rely widespread mockery resembling this.

THE WORM HAS TURNED AWARD FOR THE MOST INEFFECTIVE ACT OF TECHNO-POLITICAL ADVOCACY

To PotCoin, a cryptocurrency that focuses on marijuana transactions, who sponsored former NBA nice Dennis Rodman’s January journey to North Korea within the hope of, and I quote, ‘one thing that’s fairly constructive’ occurring. I imply, in equity, nothing disastrous occurred, nevertheless it appears to me that peace has not but returned to the Korean peninsula regardless of Rodman’s GOAT rebounding abilities. Perhaps subsequent time?

Congratulations, of a form, to the winners of the Jons! All recipients shall obtain a bobblehead of myself made up as a Blue Man, as per the picture on this submit, which can likely grow to be coveted and more and more useful collectibles. (And evidently someday subsequent 12 months they are going to grow to be redeemable for JonCoin.) And, in fact, all winners shall be remembered by posterity forevermore.

1Bobbleheads shall solely be distributed if and when obtainable and handy. The eventual existence of stated bobbleheads is just not assured or certainly even significantly probably. Not legitimate on days named after Norse or Roman gods.

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