#spn s14e3

[drulalovescas]

A million years old angel and a 40 years old hunter will be out there acting like teenage girls having a crush

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[deansamnatural]

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[nochickflickpodcast]

Special sneak peek into our newest episode, in which we discuss SPN Season 14, Episode 3: The Scar

Listen HERE, or wherever you get your podcasts!

[themrsdeanwinchester]

14.13 - Lebanon & How It Helped Me With The Loss Of My Own Father

I have always felt a special connection to Dean. We share similar personality traits and have some of the same coping mechanisms. One thing I never could relate to with Dean was the loss of his father but, now I can.

When “Lebanon” (S14E13) aired, I was excited to watch it. I was excited to see John and Mary together again, to see Sam and Dean with both of their parents and to get some good ol’ Winchester Family time. What I did not expect was for John to look eerily like my own father, who was dying from cancer at the time.

I had been in deep denial of my father’s declining health and the fact his time on Earth was rapidly coming to a close when “Lebanon” aired on CW. My best friend was practically begging me to drive up and see my dad but I kept refusing simply because I felt like doing that would make it real. It would make my dad’s future meet up with the Grim Reaper real and I wasn’t ready for it.

When I started “Lebanon” on CW’s website (I don’t have cable), I was excited. In minutes I was sobbing uncontrollably and thankful no one was home to see me such a mess. The moment John appeared on screen, I saw my own dad. The sunken cheeks, the gray hair. The eyes. This depiction is not a knock on Jeffrey Dean Morgan, let me make that perfectly clear. Your mind has a way of seeing what it wants, or needs, at times and I believe this was definitely one of those times. I sobbed the hardest at the end of the episode, knowing that soon my own father would be gone and I’d make that last connection with Dean. My best friend happened to come home during the last few minutes of the episode and at first he thought I was just getting way to into the show. He’s never watched Supernatural and only knows what I’ve told him about the show and my special connection to Dean. Through sobs I explained the episode, showed him John and told him how it all reminded me of my dad and what was happening. He understood and again urged me again to go see my dad, to spend time with him before he was gone and it was too late.

On the evening of March 26, 2019, my stepmom texted me letting me know she was calling an ambulance for my dad as he had started declining rapidly. I texted my work, told them I wouldn’t be in the rest of the week and that I was driving up the next day to be with my dad. Thankfully, they all were extremely understanding. The hospital pumped my dad full of fluids, he declined admition to the hospital so they sent him home. The morning of March 27, before I could even start my drive, my dad was admitted to the hospital. Upon arrival, my dad was sleeping. Which was good, he needed that. My stepmom updated me on what I’d missed and we soon found out he needed a blood transfusion for his severe anemia. Ok, no biggie we thought. In what was quite literally a sudden whitlwind, we went from: “he just needs a blood transfusion” to “his kidneys are failing and there is nothing we can do.” At this point my dad was in what I assume was the beginnings of falling into a coma. He was in and out, couldn’t speak and didn’t seem to recognize me.

“Dad. Dad,” I said, resting my hand on his foot to get his attention. “I love you.”

His head was shaking and he was having trouble keeping it up right but he looked me in the eyes and said, “I love you.” That was the last thing my dad said to me.

On March 30, 2019, my dad lost his 3 year battle to cancer. My stepmom, my mom, and myself spent three days by my dad’s side in the hospital. We watched him take his last breath. I had my mom bring his old, green flannel jacket he had given me with her. I had laid it next to him before he passed and carefully picked it up before I did the hardest thing ever: walking out of the room where my dad’s physical vessel laid. I would’ve stayed in that hospital room for ever and ever if it meant I could’ve saved him.

In the months after my dad’s passing, I struggled a lot. I’d see other people with their dad’s and start crying in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store. I was searching for something, anything to make me feel better. One day, I started wondering what had happened to his very first truck. A 1966 Ford F100 that he had kept up until about 17 years prior when he unfortunately could no longer pay for his storage unit and his belongings inside, including that truck, were seized by the storage facility. Figuring it had been sold at a lien auction, I called the storage and asked if they knew who bought it so I could see it, one more time. Hell, I thought maybe if it hadn’t been restored yet, I’d have the chance to buy it back. I gave them a detailed description of the truck and they said they’d get back to me. To my surprise they remembered my dad well and we’re very saddened to hear about his passing. While I waited for them to get back to me, I started scouring the internet for my dad’s truck. One day I got an email from the woman who ran the storage facility. They still had my dad’s truck. I bought it back for a steal and got a piece of dad back that day. One day, I’ll have the money to restore it. I couldn’t help but connect another thing about myself to Dean: I too had a classic vehicle that belonged to my dad.

It took me months but I revisited “Lebanon” one day after my dad’s death. I had tears rolling down my face the whole episode but felt oddly at peace. The episode had somehow begun my preparation when it first aired despite my strong denial and watching it again brought me an odd comfort that nothing else had. Supernatural has always been more than just a show to me. Now, after the loss of my dad and the odd timing of “Lebanon,” I feel an even deeper connection the show and Dean than I did before. Some people think that’s strange and weird but, to each their own. Thanks to Supernatural, the writers, the crew, the creators, the actors, everyone involved in the show, I’m one less person that feels alone in my loss.

[windsource]

hey this is gonna sound weird but I got back into spn VERY RECENTLY and I want to draw something for Nov 5th (used to do spn fanart way back in the day) but I haven't seen a bunch of the eps from the last few seasons (post S11). I don't have time to rewatch them all before the 5th, do you have a list of eps I should prioritize? Also I'm open to concepts/ideas for the art, I'm good at realism mostly. thank u sooooo much for ur help but also I blame u and the hellers in general for pulling me back in so the art is gonna be dedicated to u guys

hey, that's awesome!! i'm very glad you're back!! here's some episodes you might want to cram in before nov. 5th, from s12 onward! bolded are, in my opinion, essential in terms of understanding either the plot or the fandom (’C’ for ‘cule as in desticule) but of course i’ll advise that you read the plot summaries for any eps you can’t watch, including those that aren’t listed!!

s12e1 — keep calm and carry on : first ep of the season, i assume this would be easiest to start with so you can recall s11, and also just so you can get the gist of where the season will be headed. [PLOT]

s12e8 — LOTUS : introduces you to kelly kline. it's not my favorite and it's a bucklemming ep but plot-wise it might be important to know who kelly is, though tbh you can just read the synopsis and you should be fine. [PLOT]

s12e10 — lily sunder has some regrets : just a genuinely great episode! lots of cas background info and dean/cas moments [C]

s12e12 — stuck in the middle with you : davy perez ep!! cas says i love you!! sorta plot-heavy i GUESS? but if you want destiel angst then this is for you. it's mostly about the angst. [C]

s12e19 — the future : really important in terms of jack [PLOT]

s12e23 — all along the watchtower : season finale in which Very Significant things happen. s13 picks up right from where this leaves off. beginning of the widower arc. [PLOT, C]

s13e1 — lost and found : again, first ep of s13, lots of destiel angst (beautiful beautiful angst. the jacting joices....superb) [PLOT, C]

s13e4 — the big empty : cas!!! answers the question of what happened to him. [PLOT]

gonna go ahead and mention here that in order to watch s13e6 you should probably watch, like. the last ten minutes of s13e5, because again, ep 6 picks up right where ep 5 leaves off.

s13e6 — tombstone : destiel must-watch and end of the widower arc. also significant in terms of jack's development [PLOT, C]

s13e10 — wayward sisters : read the synopsis of ep 9 beforehand though if you want to get a background on kaia. [PLOT, C]

s13e16 — scoobynatural : 'nuff said. [C]

s13e19 — funeralia : not necessary but there’s a good amt. of rowena and cas in this ep so <3 [C]

s13e23 — let the good times roll : season finale, lots of stuff happens plot-wise [PLOT]

s14e1— stranger in a strange land : “i thought you two were joined at the—you know. everything.” really a slow ep tbh, but read the synopsis [C]

s14e3 — the scar : dean is back! there is a scene bt dean/cas in which the score makes me lose my goddamn mind. [PLOT, C]

s14e4 — mint condition : not essential, but a favorite. you’ll especially want to watch it if you’re a dean girl (gn) [C]

s14e7 — unhuman nature : again not necessary, but good jack development/jack scenes with his family [C]

s14e8 — byzantium : VERY important plot wise, re: cas and jack. [PLOT, C]

s14e10 — nihilism : so good. so very very good. also, pamela barnes. [PLOT, C]

do not watch s14e13 lebanon. i repeat, disregard lebanon.

s14e14 — ouroboros : again, one of my faves. gay motw, and v cute scene between dean and cas (: also, rowena!!! [C]

s14e17 — game night : the plot in this ep bleeds through onto the divorce arc of season 15. the ending is...ambiguous, but you can either watch 14x18 or find out what happens in the summary of that ep [PLOT]

s14e20 — moriah : again, a season finale. eps 18-20 really hinge on the events of 14x17, so all you really need to know is that they’re all v upset about [redacted redacted], which happens in ep 17. [PLOT]

s15e3 — the rupture : what i consider to be part one of three re: the divorce arc. also we’ve got a good smattering of characters and it’s important for plot reasons [PLOT, C]

s15e6 — golden time : part 2 of 3 in divorce arc. definite angst, lots of cas, and lots of eileen ((: [PLOT, C]

s15e9 — the trap : now, ofc this is part 3 of 3 in the divorce arc, and while it may be a great dean/cas ep, i must say it’s also one of my favorite sam episodes. sorry, but you really can’t skip this one!! [PLOT, C]

s15e10 — the heroes' journey : one of my favorite episodes, but it's garth-centric and you can really read all you need to know via episode summary but still. the implications of this ep haunt me. why lamp. [C]

s15e17 — unity : lots of god-stuff happening, and it leads into 15x18 [PLOT, C]

s15e18 — despair : the last episode of spn!! [PLOT, C]

so, added up, that’s 4 essential eps in season 12, 4 essential eps in season 13, 4 essential eps in season 14, and 5 essential eps in season 15. grand total of 17 eps across all four seasons! (which is less than one full season of the show)

quick run down in case you need a TL;DR: 

season 12: episodes 1, 10, 19 and 23

season 13: episodes 1, 6, 10, and 23

season 14: episodes 3, 8, 10, and 17

season 15: episodes 3, 6, 9, 17, and 18

now, if you need to narrow it down even further, i’d prioritize the eps that are labeled “[PLOT, C]” (12 eps) as those are important plot-wise and also for references w/i the fandom. good luck, i hope this helped!!

[ladyamethystium]

Bit of background - I got waylaid in watching SPN sometime during Season 14, but I can’t remember where. Couldn’t remember most of 13 either, so I rewatched that last week.

Just putting down some thoughts I have while I watch this bc I’m have fEeLiNgS. And tagging with spoilers just in case.

Chief!!! LOFL brother banter is my jam, all day every day. Family hugs (gods, can you imagine??? Our boys probably thought they would never have children, but congrats you have a son now!! Bb Jack, guh.)

Fucking FRECKLES!!!! I love it SO. MUCH.

Jodi is BAMF and I adore her. Wayward Sisters was such a good ep. lol at Sammy being a NERD with his serial killer facts.

“Is that your dad?” “One of them.” FUCK ME I LOVE THIS FAMILY

TAKE THE GIANT FUCKING CONSPICUOUS JEWEL OFF HER NECK DUMBASS. also goddammit these boys are so damn pretty even when they’re frowning and stuff.

Oh my darling boy, Jack, it’s not your fault. You’re ok. 5 mins later, it’s still the giant conspicuous jewel, oh my, who could have seen that coming.

Interrogator!Dean sounds somewhat like PostHell!Dean. (Lowkey the kicking the chair across the floor was a little hot). But look at his face!!! Sweet bb. Desperate to get this done and put it all down in that box of bad memories. Best thing about Michael!Dean is that dumb hat. Love that stupid hat lol.

Ohhhh fuck I remember the coughing. Cas “I’ll make you some soup then,” everything tastes like molecules but yeah, go make some soup love 😘

Not to slam on main but those were some pretty weak coughs to bring up blood.... AND THE WHOLE BASKET IS FULL OF BLOODY TISSUES??? 1, since supposedly no one has noticed, does that mean they each take out their own trash? Do they get waste services out by the bunker or do they have to drive it somewhere else like a residential area? 2, wtf man. You know keeping this from them is NOT gonna turn out well.

[drulalovescas]

Castiel looking at beautiful women flirting with him:

Castiel looking at Dean:

[drulalovescas]

Imagine being at the receiving end of those looks

Bonus:

[drulalovescas]

Cas: looks at Dean like he is the brightest star in the sky

Dean: looks at Cas like he hung the Moon

Sam:

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[deanscaps]