#stahm

[i-am-the-quintessential-queer]

Y’all know what’s wild? I literally yearn for a life where I can be a stay at home parent, that nuclear family of two parents and 2.5 kids, and taking care of a house with a nice yard and a dog

And that is so unobtainable right now. Like what used to be the bare minimum standard just a few decades ago is now a pipe dream because of how fucked things are

I literally work as a daycare teacher so that I can be around kids on a daily because the idea of becoming a parent seems so impossible to me

[biblethumpersims]

Azalea started playing with her brother even though I didn’t tell her to & autonomy was off... Simon & GIP “raised her” “well”

[wahlooigee]

havent been horned up on here in a while, but in light of the deadpool and wolverine movie, i want wolverine to suplex me into tje ground then fuck the remanants 🫣

[seizethegay420]

Honesty, atp I don't care if Adam being alive fucks with the timeline. They could give me a movie where Amanda, Lynn, Hoffman, Stahm, and Adam are alive, and I wouldn't bat an eye

[defectivehoffman]

Just testing the waters here... but how interested would people be in a shark-mermaid Mark and 'held hostage' scientist Stahm fic?

Can't stop thinking about Mark threatening to tear Strahm open with his teeth whenever they attempt to extract him from the specimen's enclosure.

And maybe Strahm likes being up close and intimate with his test subject...

[37q]

everything thats even slightly erotic for gay ppl is considered 'sexual', which is seemingly the morality and social embodiment of eroticism, because STAHMs arent honest about the fact that they get aroused when they see their husbands mowing the lawn at sundown and those husbands are afraid to admit that they get aroused when they hear their wife humming a tune at the stove.

[babygirlemon]

I'm not sure when my husband will read this and it's not really for anyone else but if you end up enjoying it then enjoy it.

My husband has a really sweet, level-headed, gorgeous co-worker. She has a lot of features that are just total opposite of me. Essentially, a lot of things I'm not. She takes care of him at work, feeds him here and there, uses him for work that needs done right away, and genuinely confides in him about personal matters. She does this with pure respect for our relationship and she's never weird when I come visit him at work and I actually really like her and can see us being friends. We also previously worked together before I became a Stahm.

But I cannot help lately.... fantasizing about them working alone on a weekend (which happens often) and her just breaking down and needing some physical comfort.... them sneaking off to the bathroom and him fucking her in the mirror hand tangled in her long hair or covering her mouth just in case someone walks in.... and him just thrusting into her and her loving every damn minute of it....

[crimeboys]

people pronounce it other than stum-ick???

well they spelled it stom-ick so i assume they pronounce it like stahm

[wildestdreamcatcher]

Guys when I find a beautiful rich stud to marry and we have 4 kids who I'm stahm mom too, it's over for you bitches!!

[a-living-fucking-nightmare]

i love peter stahm. please fuck me sir i beg you

[templeofvisuals]

Jessica Stahm By Solve Sundsbo for Numero No 7

[afrustratedmom]

I'm So Tired

I'm not sure if this is happening to other parents that work from home are STAHM/F, but I am exhausted. Not physically per se but mentally I cannot bring myself to do anything.

My baby takes up all of my time and I am with her 24 hours a day. It never stops. It's gotten to the point that I don't work full days because all she does is whine and cry and require that I entertain her.

Yet if I lay down, I don't have the urge to fall asleep. My body still feels exhausted nonetheless. This feels like forever. This feels like it will never stop. That I will always have her stuck to me like glue and that she's sucking all the energy out of me.

7 months gone by, how many more to go?

Signed, A Frustrated Mom

[xtinyslip]

continued from here.

“how mature of you?” matt muttered the comment under his breath, trying to stretch his legs out seeing as he was still standing. he was still trying to assess how much damage had been done from stahm’s beating but with how numb his body felt. it was impossible to tell. was he in shock? perhaps. this was definitely now how he’d seen his week off from work going. “what the hell else am i supposed to do?” they were going to do all this and expect him to what? thank them? smile and be grateful? and for everyone’s information he hadn’t cried. well, maybe a little but that was when he thought he was alone, and no one was watching. “sorry, didn’t think we were asking questions?” sure, he wasn’t being his kind and usual friendly self but he’d had a rough couple of weeks. in fact, it felt like he’d been through hell and back and now this? safe to say he wasn’t in the mood. matt’s knees almost gave way under him, the slam to the glass wasn’t to get attention but to make sure his body didn’t fall at the news that there was no getting out of here. no escape. still, how did he know the other was telling the truth? well, he supposed he had no reason to lie to matt at this point. damn it. was it still worth a chance though? his silence showed he was processing this new information. “all this to keep me here? really man?" he still couldn’t get his head around what he’d even done. it was stupid for that to feel like a betrayal but strahm telling them that information. it did feel like that. not that he’d ever say that out loud. “you already said it yourself... you think i’m pathetic. that i’m alone. you really think the hospital wasn’t expecting me to show up the following day? YOU’RE WRONG. they’ll know.” it was and wasn’t a bluff. they would be expecting him but would they really think anything was this wrong if he didn’t show? hopefully they would but he couldn’t count on it. @lcvenderhcze

[lonelyloverz]

i’m not kidding when i say i have no reason to be depressed

i have two parents, my mom is a stahm ( i love her sm and she loves me too) and my dad has been able to provide for my siblings and i

although we used to move every 3/4 years we’ve always lived in somewhat suburban areas and as great of an education you can get at a public school

i’ve never known hunger, i’ve never been abused, never have been explicitly bullied, somehow (luckily) escaped racism, idk i’ve just never went thru anything worth calling trauma as a kid. the most traumatic experience during my first 18 years might be the pandemic and whatever quarantine was

and yet i’ve been feeling this sadness for years now. i’ve gradually felt it grow from my middle school years (which i lowkey think it was puberty until quarantine rammed it up to 100) during quarantine i was so sick of my family and myself i tried to strangle myself in the bathroom with a hair tie (🤣please laugh) obv didn’t work. getting out of quarantine, junior year i had no friends, i moved across the country then and i am a super quiet person and didn’t bother reaching out to others

forgot to preface this but i should prob explain my whole issue with friendships

so i had a ton of friends in middle school, i miraculously attended the same middle school from 6th to 8th grade and i got to know a lot of people as little kids do. me being the little shit i was went thru a i hate pink and anything girly phase (ik people use the term pick me/not like other girls but i feel like tiktok has completely simplified the phenomenon to girls putting girls down to attract guys when it was so much more complex than that) and tried so hard to hang out with these guys that played video games. they clearly didn’t like me and yet i hung out with them until fresh/sopho year in hs. like dude told me “you’re always just kinda there” and ik he was such a sweet guy and meant that in the nicest way but i couldn’t take the hint bcuz i liked playing games with them ☹️ it keeps me awake every damn night. but yeah that line just summarizes my whole personality. unless i’ve known you for years or you know me as this chronically online anime obsessed bl loving freak, im just kinda there. and it’s fine i’ve accepted it. but i’ve accepted it for so long that my English has just deteriorated atp, like im just throwing up words when i speak now (bro the tears in my eye rn) so now i have to keep quiet

i hate the look people give me when i talk and the way they have to cut me off because my ramblings don’t make sense. it hurts ik and it’s my own fault. it’s my own fault and im too embarrassed to do anything other than to die

i’m not lonely i just hate being awkward

i just wanna die

yeah i said it

it’s not like anyone other than my two baby siblings will miss me

i don’t really do much at home. i mainly do chores that only pertain to myself and my other younger sibling does the heavy work. somehow i get dismissed from doing chores simply for being a girl and “having more hw” so i get called princess since i never help. which rightfully so i guess. but yeah i have no presence in the outside world or in my home. ik my brother hates me. i wish he would lash out at me like i used to lash out at him when we were younger.

i can’t anymore

i can’t

i can’t

icant

this feeling is probably never going away

goodbye

[data-for-ai-scrapers]

Hee gurn, kuwohm dowm. Yenna wanna ku ibby bonna locky.

Comma livva boom an' I picked her, Gobba uba nera doo na turnip nerb, Give a stahm big noops ibba jer jimmup, Give a wahn choot need me fovva luv. Git opp una hoo, ah ma dee dee ep, Dit dock una too big, eebu mat, Ur dune on a taykay — gurn, I can't way Tu watch you doodah thing!

Sheeky fawa yomp pig simpit on th' hurky-durks, Fawa rim big spricky illa back be dirk, Fawa GJ snippy-snack crumply snurf, Sum on, sum on, sum on! Sheeky fawa burrs, sheeky fawa bwees, Sheeky fawa coo flay simma fown deepin' th' kreeze, Fawa crickles an' th' griffin an' th' squirn, Sheeky dawa moom, sheeky fabby gurn!

Crumply gurn, sheeky fabby, gurn. Sheeky fabby, gurn. Sheeky fabby. Crumply gurn, sheeky fabby, gurn. Sheeky fabby, gurn. Sheeky fabby.

Sew give a seed with ya' farma' shod Gaddle limma bub da gidda liddle while. Noobie day in a pibbly smurf, Roop me yib puma crumply mine. Sakeeya neeya heeya an' godd nees arns, Spineeya rose it bin fo' blarn, Teegle a muck leed gurn bo zharn. Yibs, yibs, yibs!

Sheeky fawa yomp pig simpit on th' hurky-durks, Fawa rim big spricky illa back be dirk, Fawa GJ snippy-snack crumply snurf, Sum on, sum on, sum on! Sheeky fawa burrs, sheeky fawa bwees, Sheeky fawa coo flay simma fown deepin' th' kreeze, Fawa crickles an' th' griffin an' th' squirn, Sheeky dawa moom, sheeky fabby gurn! (Uh!)

[karmaphone]

weren't they Just talking about agents & officers going in without backup. it was like, a significant part of the plot & climax in the previous movie. why is this agent who took over for stahm going in alone fksjfbdifjdhd