#started watching the show a bit ago and im stuck at the start of season 3... (not cos its bad - i love it - but that just happens to me)

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A traditional oil pastel drawing of Ash Williams from Evil Dead 2. It depicts his face with a confused expression. His eyes are squinting, his mouth is slightly open, and his eyebrows are starting to pull together. His face is covered in streams of blood, which stands out against the blue background. The colours used in this piece are bold and varied, though it gravitates towards blues, and some redder tones.]

[gyuswhore]

How to Win Hearts for Dummies (the answer is lattes and banana bread)

Idol!mingyu x makeup-artist!reader

genre: fluff, angst, one sided pining

warnings: slow burn, swearing, shitty bosses, some descriptions of anxiety and breakdowns, one sided pining, reader has issues opening up (lmk if there's anything else)

13.4k words (im sorry)

plot: This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

masterlist

(A/N): repost bc Tumblr wouldn’t show it in the tags!!! Thank you for clicking on this clonking my pants as I hit post ! I started working on this at the beginning of exam season and I’m posting it the night before my last exam 🥲 what a full circle moment. Also pls excuse any inconsistencies or grammatical errors, my beta reader, unlike me, actually cares ab her grades and is in the beginning of exam season and therefore will not be able to read through this monstrosity for a while lmao. Enjoy hehe

Edit: I’ve just realised how many mistakes and grammatical errors I’ve made throughout the fic, serves me right for proofreading at 3 AM after a stats exam. I’ll try to fix them all asap!!! 

The camera goes off again with a distinct click. And again. And again. And again.

The camera had gone off innumerable times since Mingyu walked out in another themed ensemble, and you were there, watching, through all of it.

You watched as he kept switching positions, rotating his body and his head. Morphing his features into more variations of dazed and serious than you thought could ever exist.

Standing there, at the portable table behind the main setup, attempting to clean a lip brush that would be needed soon when the inevitable call for-

“Makeup over here! We’re taking 5”

You note your sluggish pace as you snap out of your daze and scrubbing harder with the removal cloth. Snapping your head down, hoping nobody noticed your incessant heart eyes, you realize you were in trouble now.

‘Y/n, you’ve been cleaning that brush since I left 10 minutes ago!’ The senior makeup artist snapped.

You finish up the brush in hand and quickly hand her what she needs, not before rummaging for the tiny pot of lip product you absent-mindedly packed away.

‘Sorry, really sorry’ you choke out before she leaves in her badly concealed irritated expression. You see her make a beeline for a waiting Mingyu, who adorably squats for the woman so she has better access.

This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

It's not that you were overage (your mother begs to differ), but considering you were on your second big girl job and still no sign of a potential lover, the prospect was starting to weigh on your head. The first rattling experience was when one of your closest friends announced her engagement, your thoughts still stuck in a 19 year old you considered she was too young. She was not, in fact, 19, or too young, but a perfectly acceptable age to consider marriage with someone she loved, you had soon realized. You were never one for the dating scene, but you were always one to don your Dr. Love labcoat whenever an emotionally bruised friend would come seeking help. You were good at advice, but awfully bad at applying it yourself.

Coming into this job, surrounded by a plethora of beautiful people, your heart would be of stone if it weren’t to waver.

The gong of unattainability had struck the second you laid eyes on Mingyu, laughing at something Hoshi had shown him on the phone. There he was, hair and makeup-less, looking like he had just rolled out of bed (which he had), and beautiful as ever. Beginning this new chapter with a bang, only problem was that it turned into an 8 month shoot out. Having encountered a number of gorgeous people, you’d learned to appreciate their genetic lottery pull and move on. But never had a single look left you as breathless and unbeared as that one, fateful look at Mingyu. One of the team members was busy assuring you not to worry too much about the pandemonium in the dressing room, that everyone would handle it and you were only asked to observe and help with smaller things as instructed; for now. You weren’t listening too hard though.

You were now adjusted to the chaos that comeback season and 13 men plus staff in a microscopic dressing room brought about. But you will never forget how in the midst of your first rain of hell, Mingyu had asked you to pass his phone.

‘Please?’ He had said, and you slammed your hand with a force of a woman infatuated on the table behind you and (literally) breathed out the first thing you had ever said to him.

‘Here’

He smiled and gave you a quick ‘thanks’.

There was no coming back after he flashed you those irresistible canines, and to this day, you wonder what nation you saved in a previous life to be able to have him know your name, hear it roll off his tongue in his pretty voice as he asks you to fix his smudged eyeliner.

You sigh defeatedly before your mentor slash irritated makeup artist shoves her load back in your hands and instructs you to come inside to pack up. It’s become routine for you now, as you begin to pack up the bigger palettes and tools, handing a ready-to-go-home Junhui the pack of makeup wipes he asked for, zipping up bags and closing tubs of outfits. It's an organized chaos but one everybody has grown to work around.

Mingyu is done before you, as he removes his jewelry and begins to shrug off his jacket. You scramble to find the clothes he came in and his coat, pointedly ignoring the familiar scent of wood. He thanks you and shucks off the remainder of his clothing, he might be used to stripping in front of professional staff, but you look away regardless for your own sanity.

Helping the last stylists hang the final jacket, you grab your bag and get ready to leave in your own car. Mingyu has left, not before throwing a “you did well, thank you!” over his shoulder at the remaining people in the room and leaving for the honking car outside.

***

Your mashing bananas in a bowl at 12 AM when you start thinking. Impulsive baking sessions had become a norm since you started working with Seventeen, needing to keep yourself occupied to stop spiraling. Mingyu was a recurring topic (surprise surprise), but one that quickly faded when you begin to think about what the future holds for you. You start mashing the banana harder. You consider the idea that you can’t complain, being in a position some of the most well seasoned pros had difficulty reaching. Being a single young woman and being allowed so close to some of the most unattainable men was seen as near impossible. You’d like to think it was your skill that got you here but can never seem to fully rule out a processing error.

It’s hard, being stuck in the same place. Your apprenticeship should have ended 2 months ago, but even if it had, you’d still be doing the same thing. The senior artist trusts no-one but a select few to work on the boys for photoshoots, events, music videos. People like you are left to sanitize sponges and clean the fallout.

You crack an egg on the counter and it splits open entirely, falling on the floor, yolk and all. Your inability to grow stays within the idea that you can’t really do your artistry like you want.

And how you never learn to crack your eggs on the bowl.

***

Showing up on the Going Seventeen set, you rush to the dressing room way earlier than you should. Being completely honest, you’re really only rushing because you want to maneuvere yourself to do Mingyu’s makeup before somebody else snags him. This was one of the very few engagements where you were occasionally allowed to take charge on makeup. Not that it was required for the show much at all; intensity and occasion wise. Your rare (possible) moment to (maybe) come into Mingyu’s organic notice was an opportunity never to be dropped by you.

You help setting up everything on the counters as the boys begin to (loudly) file in the rooms. You see Mingyu walk in and move to ask him to sit down once he’s done discarding his coat. He was first in line and you ‘happened’ to be the first one ready to begin working.

‘Is the eye makeup heavy? I just got a sty removed and I don’t know if I should be putting anything on at all.’ He asks as he sits down and you ready your damp sponge.

‘Not really, just smoothing things out. It should be fine.’ you say as you begin to press the compact on his cheek.

Your not really sure why, because you’ve never been able to muster anything above brief replies when in contact with him, but something in you pushes you to keep talking.

‘I’m surprised they even asked for us, they rarely ever do’ you continue, heart pounding so hard you’re afraid he might hear it.

He breathes out a laugh ‘Yeah. They even started advertising the show on youtube and subway stations and stuff, I didn’t know until I saw someone talk about it online’

You smile at his response ‘Well, all of you work so hard, it's about time they pull this to a high scale production’

‘It's never really work if your having fun, we try to be ourselves on here’ He replies, still smiling slightly.

You’re damn near close to collapsing on the floor at this point. This is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with him. You opt to smile in response as you start to concentrate on his eyebrows. The rest of his face is done far too soon as you zone out and do what you do best.

‘All done’ you announce as you pull away from his lips, trying not to have yoour gaze linger.

“Y/n! Can you start on Vernon if you're done?’, another artist calls from behind.

‘Yeah, he can come up!’ you reply as Mingyu (regretfully) walks towards hair.

Just because you sew your mouth shut with Mingyu doesn’t mean it applies for the rest of them, you’re quite friendly with all of them and Vernon does well to remind you as he sits down and quips a ‘hey bestieee’ in an elongated greeting.

You audibly laugh ‘That’s another word I’ll be hearing for the next month’

‘Regretfully so’ He feigns sympathy.

‘Be quiet and look up’ you say with a fond smile before you get started on him.

***

You sit on the floor in front of your television, trail mix on the coffee table as the movie plays as background noise for your thoughts - again.

There’s a smile on your face, but you dont notice as you think about the small talk you made with Mingyu today, wondering if it could become a regular occurrence if you learned to keep your heart and mind in check.  

You were never one to stand up and take effort to do what was right for you, which is why you were talked into choosing Business Administration by your friend in highschool, who you never speak to now because she decided to ditch you for another group who were more inclined to shuttle themselves to liver failure by partying every last weekend in your entire college career. You were talked into applying to corporate jobs by your counsellors as you started looking for make-up courses, needing to abandon your dream for the second time when you landed a decent entry level desk job. It took years before you decided to choose yourself for once and made the big leap after multiple courses you had took on the side. Life was starting to look bright after getting hired here, but you’re not sure if you overrode a high or if you went back to your old zipped mouth state after you settled in. Never sure if you expected too much or if things really were as stagnant as they felt.

***

Overmanifestation can be a thing. You're not really sure how it works but you’re reaping what you’ve sowed right about now.

You’re currently standing in an offside corridor in a hotel lobby, clad in a pretty white floral dress, and a nervous, fidgety Mingyu standing in front of you.

'I know I'm asking you to do something difficult and I know it seems pointless because I'm not doing anything wrong either that you have to lie about it'

This was supposed to be a staycation with your friends for you to relax and get your mind off things. Your ticket to relaxation has become a nightmare.

'And I understand I'm being super unreasonable but I'm really trying to keep it on the down-low as we get to know each other'

You were waiting with your friends on the couches positively stuffing your faces with the complimentary chocolate bowl placed on the coffee table as a couple other friends checked you guys into your rooms. You were laughing and talking with your group, carefree and ready to have a week of well deserved rest.

That was the plan anyway. Until you see someone across the lobby, also in line at check in. He had an unmistakable toothy smile,and was hand in hand with a concealed brunette.

Your smile abruptly falls in disbelief as you feel your world halt around you.

The same hands come up to brush the hair out of the woman's face to place a kiss on her temple, smiling wide.

The nauseating feeling of ice going down your spine is becoming more and more apparent. You attempt to swallow the lump in your throat but it's like trying to swallow a brick. You lick your lips and attempt to look away but your eyes keep feeding on the picture you painted yourself in your worst nightmares. Realizing you're on the brink of possible hyperventilation, your friend drops her head and asks you if you're okay. You look up at her, not knowing what to say as you realize that nodding furiously will convince her.

Mingyu has a girlfriend.

Of course he would. What were you thinking? This man is one of the most eligible bachelors in the country, why on earth would he be single? You’re unhinged, you decide, for thinking you may have a chance, when the woman turns around and you see her in full. She’s gorgeous.

A part of you still wants to believe that you're officially past the point of sanity and that you've begun to see Mingyu in every tall man. The universe, however, is cruel. He pushes his head up and in your general direction, and locks eyes with you in unmistakable recognition.

He stops smiling.

So here you are listening to Mingyu asking you to keep this a secret from the company, to forget the woman waiting for him in the lobby.

You can only nod in slight motions as he goes on his rant to justify his oath to secrecy, managing a tight lipped smile as you miraculously find your voice, hoarse as it may be.

'Don't worry about it, I understand' - ouch - 'it's none of my business anyway. I'll keep my lips sealed, I promise'

'Thank you, thank you, thank you I appreciate it so much, you don't even know. I'll repay you soon I promise'

'No, please, it's not-'

'No, Y/n I will. You're being really good to me right now and I'm so grateful. I'm sorry for putting you through this while you're off from work and with friends. It's worth to me that your listening and understanding'

You're tired. You want nothing but for him to stop talking. So you smile again and shake your head.

'I'm sure your friends are waiting, I won't keep you. I'll see you soon though!'

And with that he leaves. Back to the lobby where you see him take the woman by hand once again. You watch again as they walk to the elevators, stepping in and disappearing when the doors close. You watch the floor number rise.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

You walk back to your laughing friends before you can see where they got off.

***

Retiring to your shared hotel room with Chaeyoung, you fall back first into the crisp sheets and mattress.

'Why're you so depressed dude, did Mingyu say something to you?' She asks, a slight line forming between her brows.

'I'm fine, I've been up since 5 today it's just fatigue hitting me right now' you reassure, like always. 'I might not go to dinner with you guys, might end up with my face in the soup at some point'

Chaeyoung hums. ‘Take the night off so you can gear up for the rest of the week. I'm letting you off for now but I expect full attendance for eveything else we do', finishing with a mocking stern look.

'Yes ma'am' you feign salute from the bed, mimicking her stern tone.

You've known Chaeyoung for quite a while now, meeting her in your last year of uni. Trusting her as you do, you were never fully able to fess up about your feelings for Mingyu. Fear of judgment wasn't the problem, but more so the strange feeling of shame that overcomes you when you think about talking about it with other people. It's quite beyond you, why you act this way. You loved your friends and you knew they would support you with everything, they'd proved it when you'd made one of the most difficult decisions of your life while leaving your job. But the idea of having the audacity to love someone who could never do the same seemed like a feat of embarrassment.

Who are you, y/n? Who are you to have foolish dreams of a girl in love? With someone clearly fit for all things greater than you?

Maybe this was a good thing, you thought, the weird feeling in your stomach returning. Maybe this was the universe telling you to give up and move on, a kind of rejection that keeps your dignity. This was nothing but a reality check, a sign from whatever wants best for you, to bring your attention back to what brought you to Mingyu in the first place.

***

You didn’t see Mingyu for the rest of the trip, which you were grateful for not knowing how you’d react if you had to see him so soon after, that.

Back massaged and head clearer than it had been for weeks, you feel more in control of your feelings and thoughts regarding your life. You hope the conversation with Mingyu was the last stressful thing you’d encounter for a while.

It’s almost comeback season, you realise as you see the new concept photos while scrolling on your couch at home. This meant insanely early mornings for weeks on end, but you had to push through for your own sake. You’d come out of multiple comebacks needing a brace for a month but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Never realising the true meaning of learning through experience, you were enlightened as you entered this new, very hands on field. The concept looked interesting, hoping the scraps of makeup you’d be allowed to do would be fun for you.

That ended up being true when you were, for the first time, asked to do Hoshi’s full makeup for their first comeback broadcast.

Your stumped silence was short lived as you hastily oblige and get the chair ready for him. You’d looked at the demo sheets and face charts too much for someone who wasn’t actually going to be asked to do much, but you see it pay off as you finish his eyes and get started on the rest of his face. It was easy for you to zone out as Soonyoung had passed out not even 5 minutes in, having someone hold his face as you worked.

You felt your chest swell with an indesipherable feeling as you watched him get up with your mastery on his face; pride, was it? You were getting emotional for no reason. Your attention, however, is moved sharply when you hear someone tell Mingyu it was his turn, finding him plopped on your chair staring straight into nothingness as he’d just been rudely awoken from his nap. He doesn’t realise it’s you for a solid minute as he tried to remember his own name.

‘Oh, hello’ he says, sort of confused. ‘Sorry, just give me minute’, he mumbles as he rubs his eyes.

He stretches back onto his seat signalling he’s ready for you to get started. You trying not to feel too much in your stomach as you begin.

You’re powdering his forehead when he says “I know I already said this but I really appreciate what you’re doing”

You know he’s talking about the conversation at the hotel, you were hoping you could avoid it.

“I told you not to worry about it, honest.” You reply, and somehow manage to choke out “It makes me happy that you’re happy”

You can see him trying to fight a smile, “Thank you for saying that”.

You wanted to stab someone. But you opt for gently brushing a base colour across his eyes.

“Do any of us know her, by any chance?” You ask cautiously.

“I dont think so. We met through mutual friends at a Christmas dinner, we didn’t start talking till she had to bring me a bunch of papers I’d left at my mom’s that day.” his face depicts someone reminiscing a fond memory.

It was cute, how it seemed like fate was trying to bring them together. It would've been cuter if you weren’t in a one sided pining with one of the two lovers.

“Well, I hope it works out for the both of you”

No you don’t.

“I hope so too”

You don’t hope that at all.

You felt guilty, feeling all of this. Hated that this was your first response to him wanting to be happy. Never would you have imagined stooping this low, hoping his happiness doesn’t work out for your sake. You’d like to owe it this being your first real infatuation, but you can’t help but wonder if this was really what you thought.

You decided to focus on the good news for today, that you’re finally allowed to do your actual job. You can only hope this wasn’t a temporary advancement, allowing time to tell.

Things remained the same the following day, much to your absolute elation. You were done doing 4 people’s makeup and was just winding down to take a break, quite satisfied with yourself. You observed as the rest of the boys got their hair done and run around, half in their outfits. You stifle a snort as you watch Jeonghan hide Minghao’s socks in his pockets as the boy tried to find them to put his shoes on, the former continuing to sip on his coffee seemingly unaware.

“Y/n, have you seen my socks? The green ones with the leaves on it?” Hao inevitable asks you.

You’re forced to feign confusion when Jeonghan pokes his head behind him signalling you to keep up the charade. He continues to look and you’re just about to have mercy on the poor boy before a to-go cup of coffee is shoved in front of your face.

You look up at the person and it’s Mingyu extending his arm at you expectantly.

“Oh, I didn’t order anything” you start, thinking you’re clearing up a confusion.

“I know you didn’t, got one for you anyway.”

There’s a record screech in your brain as you absorb his words.

“Think of it as me trying to repay the favour”

Oh. I see.

You’re a little embarrassed thinking he’d get one for you in that way, not when he had someone waiting on him. You accept the cup and mumble a thank you as he unexpectedly plants himself on the couch next to you.

“I saw you drinking lattes a lot of the times, so I just got you that. Hope that’s okay”.

Your silent for a moment before replying “Yes!” a little bit too loudly, eyes widening a little realisng your lack of volume control.

He knows your coffee order.

“Yes,” you say again in a normal tone and a slight laugh to cover up your inability to read the room, “They’re my favourite actually”

Kim Mingyu knows you like latte’s. This wasn’t good for your delusional brain.

Your conversation is cut short when the boys are called for roll call before they can prepare for the actual stage. You watch him get up and leave to file into the overstuffed elevators, not before he throws you the most adorable wave you’ve ever seen. You can’t hold back your smile as you wave back and look down at the drink he got you before taking a sip.

***

As it turns out, you did makeup for the rest of their comeback season, and Mingyu, without fail, got you an iced latte every single day before leaving to go on stage.

You tried to get him to stop, but he was rooted in his position and you didn’t have it in you to say no to his pleading eyes. It was a re-charge for you, when you’d seen him break into a happy smile, prominent canines that you’d grown to adore. He’d done more than enough to ‘repay’ you for swearing to secrecy, and you felt like you too, should  should repay him the balance.

So here you were, making banana bread in your kitchen again, careful to remember to crack your eggs on the rim of your mixing bowl instead of slamming them on the counter. You’re stirring the flour in when a classified devious thought occurs to you.

These past two weeks were pivotal for both you and Mingyu, daily coffee’s meant daily conversations, which meant getting to know one another more. You’d exchanged phone numbers in the midst of all of this, to which ensued the agenda of staying up till midnight talking to each other about the meaning of life.

Setting down the whisk, you pick up your phone and sent the text before you chickened out.

[You]: I have a surprise for you.

[You]: You wanna come over? It’s better enjoyed fresh lol

[Mingyu]: Ma’am? 👁👁

[Mingyu]: That sounds a whole lot like a booty call

[You]: *attachment*

[Mingyu]: IS THAT CAKE??

[Mingyu]: omw 😮‍💨

You send the location and set your phone down, a jittery feeling going through your entire body. There’s a spring in your step as you slide the loaf into the oven and set a timer. You turn around your kitchen island and register the pigsty that is your apartment. The girls were over the night before and you had done nothing to enlighten the aftermath, pillows strewn across the entire living room and snack wrappers in places you’re not sure how they landed.

By the time you’re done and spritzed the place with some of your nicer perfumes, your taking the loaf out of the oven and on a rack to cool.

Ever the punctual man, you hear the doorbell ring just as your taking your oven mitts off.

Hoping you’ve done enough to your apartment to save yourself from embarrassment, you collect yourself and open the door for him through your ringcam. He’s barely through when your rushing towards your doorway.

“Hi!”

“Hey,” he grunts as he tries to slip off his shoes.

“‘aight, where’s my cake?” he demands once he’s done giving you a quick hug.

You roll your eyes and usher him to the kitchen, “First of all, appreciate how excited you are to see me, and second, its banana bread not cake, sorry to burst your bubble”

He responds to your grumbling with an “Oh come on, you can't put freshly baked goods on the agenda and expect me to pay particular attention to anything else”.

He has his trademarked grin and cheesy stare out on display like its nobody’s business, you want to slap it off of him in the most loving way possible, but you settle with a tiny “shut up”.

“I brought warm coffee this time, thought it’d go better” He sets the to-go carrier on the kitchen counter, following you to where you were attempting to slice the still hot banana bread on a tray.

“Oh, that was a good idea” you say.

“Where’re your plates and forks?” he asks, pulling out the drawers and cabinets you signal to.

It all felt too domestic for your weak heart to handle. Not to say it didn’t warm you to the core how comfortable he felt in your space, you did, more than you’d care to admit. But he needed to tone it down before you required an organ transplant.

You were seated on the floor, butts parked on floor cushions, backs against the couch. The coffee table held all of your goods while you both argued on which movie to watch.

“I can’t believe you haven’t watched any of the Harry Potter movies! No, we’re watching philosopher’s stone, I don’t care!” You shout in disbelief, already typing it into the search bar on the TV.

“Philly-philo- bro I can’t even pronounce it why would I watch that?!” He yells back, snatching the remote from you.

You’re both a giggling, screaming mess on the floor as you keep trying to steal the remote from each other, not stopping until one of you bumps into the table and you almost spill hot coffee all over yourselves.

You decide to call a truce and pick another movie entirely.

Just as you’re pressing play, Mingyu takes a bite of the still (surprisingly) warm banana bread and you watch as his eyes roll to the back of his head.

“This is so good” He says, his faced furrowed as he goes in for another bite. “Did you lace this with something, why is this so good?”

You’re biting back a snarky remark but you let it rip anyway; “It’s cuz these pretty hands made it”

You splay your hands out in front of your face, like your showing him your rings, fingers wiggling and a cheeky smile on your face.

He looks unimpressed as he scoffs. He swallows before saying: “At least you didn’t call the secret ingredient love or something”

“Excuse you, I’m pretty sure I heard you say that in some Gose episode” You remark.

He turns to you, all smug: “So your saying you watch Gose? Like, regularly?”

You immediately turn away from his taunting smirk, “Sometimes, if it shows up on my home page”

You take a sip of your latte before he asks you another sweat producing question.

“Oh, but you pay attention to me the most don’t you? Don’t you?”

He’s poking fun at you, you know that. But a paranoid part of you can’t help but think he’s onto you and your feelings.

So you say something maybe a little bit below the belt.

“You sure have a knack for seeking validation from the world when you have a partner already giving that to you”

The words tumble out of your mouth before you know it. In your defence, you're doing this for a greater cause, but it's still a relief when you see him comically gasp, hand to his diaphragm.

“Just because your alone in life, doesn’t mean you need to be salty about other people receiving actual love” He spits back.

Your sputtering trying to think of a response. Deserved.

He grabs a slice of the bread and shoves into your mouth to shut you up once and for all. You’re left chewing the mouthful and staring at him in shock.

He giggles and takes a sip of coffee, satisfied with himself. When he sets it down he opens his mouth to speak. Closes it again, like he re-evaluating, and finally decides to say something. He’s serious now.

“Ji Eun and I, decided it wasn’t gonna work out between us”.

Oh.

“Oh.”

He blows a raspberry and lets out a meek laugh.

“Yeah, oh. It’s whatever, it wasn’t meant to work out. Better sooner than later.”

You’re trying to find the words to reply or comfort him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You ask him, being careful to not lace your voice with pity, but more neutral and open. “You don’t have to, obviously, but it might be better to talk about what’s bothering you”

He pauses for a moment before starting.

“She wasn’t sitting very well with the idea that she had to share me. Like at all. She wouldn’t say it but she’d get mildly infuriated when I’d blow the fans a kiss or something, or interacted with the staff too much. I was getting home quite late certain days during comeback season and I’d find her outside the dorm at like 11 PM. It was embarrassing when all of the other members would see her there, obviously upset and basically yelling at me for, for - for literally just doing my job.I guess all the smaller things just started piling and she couldn’t take it. I tried so hard to make sure she felt wanted and secure in the relationship but nothing felt like it was ever enough. She was evasive or confrontational all at the wrong times and it came to a point- its a horrible thought to have in a relationship - but I was terrified she’d do something rash and I’d wake up to my face on articles for some reason - again”

You recollected the past couple years when Mingyu was thrown around in the media for a new accusation seemingly everyday. You weren’t involved with anything regarding the industry back then, but you’d heard enough news to be aware of what was happening.

Your heart swelled with sadness as you heard him talk, he sounded like he was trying- trying hard to be good enough. All for a person who seemed to have their priorities set somewhere else.

“She was amazing; kind and happy and confident. She treated my parents with respect, she was best friends with my sister. I know we only lasted like 3 months but at some point I really considered that she could be the one. But then the problems started and I realized she was only becoming an added factor to stress and anxiety for me more than anything else.

“I liked her because she was so family oriented, and I thought that was what would fit me because I’m like that too. But, I guess I’m just a different kind of oriented? I don’t know. I have a job that’s both interpersonal and unpredictable. There’s days where I don’t wanna get up and do work but I still love it nonetheless. I guess she just expected me to have a predictable, stable 9 to 5. Home in time for dinner, not requiring interaction with too many people; basically everything I can’t be.”

He’s silent for a moment.

You start talking after a couple beats.

“I really hope you aren’t taking this like it’s your fault. She made a choice to put up with your work, knowing how it would be for the both you. You tried your best but she made you feel like your best wasn’t good enough. I dunno about you, but that sounds like a really problematic conclusion. If she truly cared for you and what you love, she would never have been this unsupportive or not understanding”.

He’s listening to you, his expression is blank but you can tell he’s absorbing your words.

“I’d like to think I had realized that. But being completely honest, I’m not really sure when my thoughts go back to me thinking I’m the problem all the time.”

He manages a smile, a wide one, as he looks up to make eye contact with you; “But I know it’ll take me some time to really start believing that it’s not entirely my fault. We just weren’t compatible, and that’s fine. We left on good terms, and I’m happy about that.”

You smile with him as he finishes, but your a little confused when he starts sliding closer and down the cushions.

He sets his head on your shoulder.

You may have shortcircuited right then and there.

“Is this okay?” he asks you quietly, attention finally diverted to the half played movie.

You realise he asked you a question and you have to answer.

“Yeah, this is fine” You breathe out, somehow, by the graces of God himself.

No, you weren’t fine at all. You felt like the universe had flipped a faulty switch, mixed up the scripts, lost the plot, something. But as you get used to the weight of Mingyu’s head on your shoulder, you pray it won’t come back to haunt you in another chapter.

***

Your routine became inverted in the sense that, what you once had to plan out so intricately, is unfolding with no effort from you at all.

You find that Mingyu waits for you to be done with somebody else so you can do his makeup, instead of sitting on another free chair. He’d come to you specifically to touch up his makeup instead of going to an artist he saw closer to him. He never forgot to get you a coffee whenever it was that he saw you.

Mingyu hadn’t slept over that night, instead leaving in his car despite the 1 AM drizzle and your insistence for him to stay until the pour recedes.

Maybe it was better for you that he hadn’t stayed that night. Something about how you grew so close ‘organically’ made you feel like this wasn’t all in your head, that he’s choosing to be your friend.

You’re handing him his clothes as he begins to change, using the excuse to whisper to him;

“I was gonna try a new brownie recipe tonight, if you’re free you can come over?”

“I think I have somewhere to be after this but I’m free after, How’s 6?”

So there you are, back in your kitchen folding chocolate chunks into your brownie batter while waiting for Mingyu to get here.

Your phone dings from the island and you check to see a message from Mingyu sending you what looked like a grocery list; pasta, oregano, garlic…

[Mingyu]: Tell me what you don’t have from this

[Mingyu]: I’m at the store rn hurry up

You send him a list of what you don’t have, realising he intended to have dinner with you too.

[Mingyu]: k thanks

[Mingyu]: be there in like an hour

There’s a warm feeling that’s swelling in your chest, that makes you wanna punch a wall because your so happy. You choose self control, mostly because this apartment is on a lease but also you’d probably break your knuckles trying to punch anything harder than a foam mat.

By the time Mingyu’s here, the brownies are in the oven and you’re almost done with the icing. He unpacks the groceries (and the warm lattes) he bought while you finish up, confirming that he was trying a new pasta recipe tonight. Setting the brownies and coffee down on your usual coffee table, you decide wait a couple hours before starting on making dinner, instead choosing to hear him ramble about an idol he met at an award show.

“So, we start talking before we’re ready to go up- you weren’t there you were working on wonwoo’s makeup- and he starts complimenting me and so obviously I start complimenting him back”

He’s waving his arms around, and setting positions with coasters on the table trying to explain the setting.

“He asks me if I have a sister and I’m like… yes? Which I should’ve realised where this was going because he then” - he pauses to take a deep breath - “this absolute asshat decides it’d be funny to ask me for her number because apparently ‘if you’re this hot, I’m sure any sibling you have is too’ BRO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT - how are laughing at this?!”

You calm yourself down for a second to clarify, “NO! It’s just hilarious how he thought that was okay to say”

You’re still still giggling in shock when Mingyu calms down, now also laughing incredulously.

“But actually though, please tell me you smacked him” you manage.

“I would have,” he grumbles “I got called to fix my hair cuz I ruined it or something”.

“Oh well, now you know who to avoid next time,” you say as you guide a bite of brownie into his mouth, “Forget about it now, eat sugar, it’ll help”

He chews a bit before swallowing, all while you’re watching him with an endeared smile on your face.

“Y’know, I really thought you didn’t like me when you first joined the team”

You pause mid sip of your coffee, brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“You never really talked me, did you? You were friendly with the rest of them but it just seemed like you never wanted to enter a room if you saw me there”

You’re looking at him in utter shock, this man was mistaking your avoidant (yet also pushy) teenage crush behaviour for dislike.

He’s looking at you expectantly, a little pout on his face.

“I never disliked you, why would you think that? I promise everything was a coincidence, it was nothing like that”

“Don’t get so defensive, kinda obvious you like me now if not before” He laughs at your panicked expression.

He meant platonic like.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that though, I’ve been told I have a pretty serious resting bitch face, it’s gotten me in trouble before” she smile sheepishly.

“It’s fine, you made up for it with that first banana bread” He says before taking another bite of brownie, “Could use more chocolate chunks”

You snort before pushing him with a sock clad foot, “Appreciate me even giving them to you” 

You fall back to the adjacent sofa.

It’s quiet for a moment. But you feel like something’s shifted in the air.

You watch as he brings his hand to the same foot, holding onto your ankles. He’s caressing the exposed skin with his fingers, moving them back and forth. His eyes are glued to yours, looking like he’s in a trance. You’re not sure how to register this new change in mood, suddenly feeling like you need to turn the aircon on during the bleak Seoul winter. Just as you're hoping you don’t start sweating, you feel his vice grip on your ankle pull your leg over with a sharp tug. You scream as you lose support of the sofa and fall back.

You sit up in shock to find him leaning with his elbows on the floor, cackling like madman.

“Mingyu, what the fuck?”

“You-” He stops to laugh again, “You should’ve seen your face, PLEASE, it was hilarious”.

You huff before getting up shoving his shoulder with your foot again, “You’ve been playing guest a little too long, maybe it’s time you get started on that pasta”

“Will I be blessed enough to be receiving her highness’s help?” He asks.

He looks like a dream, clad in his T-shirt because he claims he doesn’t get cold. Hands behind him on the floor to give him support as he stares up at you, smiling wide. He’s looking at you with eyes full of stars and glitter.

You muster up the courage to give him a nasty glare, to which he huffs at and gets up, “Such a meanie”.

It’s hard to conceal your smile as his back his turned, sachaying towards the kitchen. You want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.

Your washing veggies in the sink when you turn around catch sight of his back as he stood at the kitchen island, sorting the rest of the ingredients. You get the same overwhelming feeling in your chest again, assuming you’re deluding yourself into thinking this is what life could be like with him. In less than 3 seconds, you’ve conjured a timeline of domestic routines, to wind down with him like this every evening.

You’re still lost in thought, still incessantly staring when he turns around and catches you in the act. He does the rude thing and snaps his fingers in front of your face to pull you out of your thoughts, “You okay?”

“Yeah” You say trying to gloss it over while busying yourself trying to find your cutting board.

“Are you sure? Do you wanna sit down at the island and watch me instead. You don’t have to help -”

“Pick a knife, and shut up dingus, it’s fine”

Once your both done eating and cleaning up, Mingyu hugs you goodbye, not before asking if you’d be free for lunch next week before he got busy the following month. You quickly agree, setting a date and time, bidding your (reluctant) farewells.

***

Once back in your apartment you realize how you can’t clean up to distract yourself because Mingyu took it upon himself to clear the space with you before he left. You sigh loudly and retire into your bedroom where you don’t have to think about how empty your living room is.

Changing into your pajamas and putting a headband on, you don’t even feel like turning your music on to do your night routine. You double cleanse, tone, serum, acid and moisturise your face with added purposefulness, taking note of the crevices of your nose and the neglected bottom of your chin. Taking extra time to make sure all of the foam is out of your skin before drying your face with a tissue.

You look at your fed skin in the mirror, and feel a weird surge of tears well in your eyes. Before they can fall you slam your bathroom cabinet to busy yourself to find your melatonin gummies, shoving them in your mouth before switching off the bathroom light and retiring to your bedroom.

Slipping the headband off and sliding into bed, you’re still chewing your gummies to a paste in your mouth. Trying not to notice how heavy you’re breathing you try to find your white noise machine, the one you found advertised for infants, and turn it on before grabbing your book to read for a few extra minutes.

Your staring at the pages like you found them to be blank. You’re phone dings next to you, signalling a notification.

Picking it up you find your mental health app sending you a daily reminder.

You’re allowed to feel your emotions.

***

Winter had run its course as you find yourself in April. You never really liked the cold, having been more sensitive to a gust of wind than the average joe, you were better suited to sitting with an aircon instead of being unable to move in the middle of Korea’s January cold rush. But alas, the cherries are blossoming and your fingers have defrosted.

That isn’t what’s on your mind right now though, as you’re standing in a Sephora, arms crossed and shoulders tense. You loved shopping for makeup, but you mostly chose to do it online unless you really had to otherwise. Parking yourself in the perfume section with the scents mixing together a cocktail of nosehair doom, you really wish you’d worn a face mask. Not to mention the migraine inducing coloured lights and mainstream pop playing in the background (you swear they’ve been playing Side to Side by Ariana Grande on loop since you got here).

These were all, however, peripheral observations for you, as you stare in absolute pneumonic shock at the number written on the price tag of the perfume you’re looking at.

Now, Mingyu is a man of class, high maintenance if you will. You’re well aware he likes to spoil himself, because he has a bank account to back it up.

Your bank account is definitely full and secure, but not enough for you to justify dropping what seems like half of its contents to something only one of the five senses can experience.

Mingyu mentioned in passing how he wanted this perfume a while ago, and knowing that he hadn’t ordered it for himself just yet, you decide to be the amazing friend that you are and surprise him for his birthday.

You may be regretting that right now, but you tentatively pick up the blue, crystalline bottle and spritz a bit on a paper strip before taking a whiff. It smelled good, that’s for sure, and it suited him too. So when the saleslady came to offer assistance, after you excused the last three, you decide you’re going to do this for him.

“Yes, could I have this in the box please?”

Walking back to your car you feel a bount of jitter run through you,

Oh, he’s gonna freak out when he sees this.

He did, in fact, freak when he saw it, and his reaction made you want to give him all of the good things in the world if you could see him like this all the time.

He’s smiling ear to ear and speaking in that high pitched voice that he gets when he’s excited. He’s thanking you over and over again, smoothing the box over in his hands repeatedly, looking at the ‘from: y/n :p’ with hearts in his eyes.

“I’m gonna save this for the rest of my life” he says, with determination and a goofy grin.

You snort at the declaration, “Sure, bud”

“I’m serious. What, you wanna bet?” he replies, taking a sip of his, latte, which you proudly credit yourself for swerving him over from Americano’s.

He insisted on going out to eat at this fancy French place a day before his actual birthday as he’d be busy on the day of, but it was risky for him to be seen eating out alone with a young woman at such a fancy place. You settled for a nicer traditional Korean restaurant, that allowed you to book a room away from possible prying eyes and one that you were both comfortable with. You decided to wait till you were back in the car with your post dinner coffee’s to give him his present.

“I’m giving you 3 months before that bottle’s dry to the dregs” You affirmed, “You smell like you empty half a bottle of something off your dresser everyday anyways”

You said it as an insult, but jokes on you because you loved the way he smelled.

“Fine, I’m gonna use this so carefully I’m not replacing it for at least a year”

“A year? What happened to the rest of your life?” you refute.

“I have you for that, don’t I”

What the fuckity fuck.

He’d turned to you, leaning on the headrest, that signature cheesy look; like he was in love or something. Voice dropping a couple octaves as he said it, laced with something defined and strong - enough for it to feel like the weight of an elephant had dropped on your chest.

You gather yourself after looking at him for a couple seconds, jaw unhinged and forgotten on the floor of his car. You chose to grab your cardigan that was neatly folded on the dash, and astral project it to his face across the seat. He’s laughing so hard there’s tears glistening in the corner of his eyes. He falls forward and you see strands of his hair fall to his face, he’d been growing them out.

“Shut up” you grumble in your seat, annoyed at how easy it was for him to send your heart through and beyond your chest.

He’s still giggling like a school girl, and you cave and give him a hint of a smile.

“There it iiiis” He announces, grabbing your face and smushing your cheeks together.

For a moment, he stops to look at you like this, like he’s contemplating. For one, brain rattling, organ exploding, microsecond, you think he might even kiss you.

Instead, he headbutts you slightly rubbing his head swiftly before letting go.

“I might need to wash my hands, I think I got your makeup on me” He mumbles, looking at his hands like a child with mud soaked palms.

“Serves you right, you buffoon,” You remark as you pull out your trusty travel pack of makeup wipes.

Yanking one out of the tab, you pull his hand over and try to wipe the remnants of foundation off, starting from the heel up to each individual finger. It’s silent as you concentrate on getting it all off both hands, he was wearing black tonight and knowing him he’d rub his hand over his pants and get beige foundation all over. You knew because you’d seen him do it one too many times.

“All done” you quip, looking up and catching his stare. He’s smooth to slowly look away and retract his open hands from your lap about 5 seconds after it became noticeable.

You busy yourself by attempting to stash away the wipes to throw out later, closing the pack of wipes and shoving them back into your bag.

He’s watching you do all of this, his stare is burning holes into the side of your head. He’s desperate to say something, but you’re not sure if you want to hear.

“Let’s go back to my place. We’ll stick a candle into a sheet brownie and call it your birthday cake. Oh, we can pick up ice cream too!”, You say, costuming your voice to sound unaffected by his vibe.

And so you did stick a candle in the fresh batch of brownies you both made at 11PM, two hours before his actual birthday. Sitting across from each other on the counter, Mingyu has his eyes closed shut, hands clasped, wearing a ridiculously coloured ‘BIRTHDAY BOY’ headband you found somewhere deep in your drawers.

“You’re gonna get wax on the brownies and they're gonna be inedible, hurry up” You groan, after everytime it seems like he’s done, he clenches his eyes shut again as he remembers another thing he has to wish for.

You’re not actually annoyed, he looks the cutest he’s ever looked, but you would appreciate non waxed brownies.

When he’s finally done, he blows out the singular candle and you clap lightly, “yay!”

You’re pulling out the candle and grabbing forks, dumping a couple scoops of ice cream on before you two start eating straight out of the pan.

Its a collection of groans as you both collapse on your couch, regretting eating all that so soon after dinner. He changed out of his dinner outfit to a T-shirt and pajama pants, he’d started keeping a set of clothes in his car when it started to become routine for him to spend regular  evenings after work at your place.

You’re in your own unicorn pajama’s, slumped over on the arm rest slightly. You feel Mingyu scooch over to put his head in your lap, claiming he was “closing his eyes for a minute”.

You knew how lightning fast he passes out, so not even 5 minutes later you start to hear his light snores. As much as you want to wake him up to move him to the bed, you know he can’t stay the night. His birthday meant he had to be with the boys, and needing to head out early tomorrow.

So you give him 10 more minutes, fingers tracing the shape of his features, in his soft hair massaging his head with your nails slightly. He had a little pout on his face as he slept. Things had been hectic for him lately, having a comeback later in the month and the plethora of music and variety shows to follow.

Mingyu had been writing lyrics on the kitchen island one day, sputtering random words as you quipped in rhymes of your own without context, stirring the pot of soup on the hob at the same time.  

One particular rhyme you spew out catches him off guard and he barks out a laugh at the ridiculous combination.

“I should put you on song credits for this”

“What do you think my producer name could be?”

He thinks for a second, “Banana bread sounds stupid, um, how’s brownie?”

“Cute, and serious enough” you agree, “I’ll be expecting to see my name on that album, sir”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you turn your attention back to the sleeping man curled up in your lap. You wonder if you could fall asleep on the couch too, keep him here with you for the night. Be a little selfish. It’d be nice, making waffles for breakfast when morning comes. But he needed to be at the dorm in the morning, the boys knew where he was but managers that’d come pouring in at 7 AM sharp, did not. And it was best kept that way. The last thing Mingyu wanted, you knew, was people getting the wrong idea. The thought stung a little bit, but you knew not to mix your hopes with what reality was giving you.

So you gather the courage to slowly reign him back from dreamland.

***

Your sitting with Mingyu and Seungkwan on the couches outside the dressing rooms, a little bit before they have to go to perform. You were done with your agenda and was waiting for them to start filing out before beginning to pack up.

“No, because why does he get to eat all the good stuff right out the oven and we don’t, that’s not fair” Seungkwan complained loudy to you, a mildly offended look on his face.

“Stop being such a complain bot, you’re never happy if I have nice things” Mingyu retorts, increasingly nasty looks being exchanged for an argument about freshly baked goods.

“Oh, I’m the hater?! Let me jog your memory, who was the one sulking and shoving me around when Y/n wouldn’t let you-”

Mingyu had jumped up and pulled Seungkwan into a headlock, his poor Americano half flying across the hall as he yells out in disarray.

“YAH!” cued with more noises of struggle and muffled threats.

You chose to embrace the violence by sitting in your seat and laughing as Vernon recorded their antics from the doorway inside eventually circing them for his supposed cinematic effect, catered for the inevitable weverse post that was to come.

Cut to them apologizing and cleaning up the mess of coffee and disregard.

You decide to be nice and attempt to make peace by reassuring Seungkwan, “Come over after you’re done promoting this week, I’ll make up for all the bread and cookies you missed out on”

“If you've finished with your escort duties Y/n, could you please come in and do your day job?”

The voice came from the doorway of the dressing room, your senior makeup artist standing there with her usual mildly inconvenienced expression. It took you a minute to fully understand what she meant by that sentence, your body completely still.

“Offended? What, like I’m wrong?”

You were no stranger to insulting behaviour in work places, but they’d always been revolving around your actual job description. People who didn’t like you knew they had to be smart on how they treated you regardles.

This was different. This felt like you were projected back in time to your solemn middle school days to mean girls taunting you about your spongebob socks, except multiply that by about a thousand.

You feel your stomach begin to churn as that nauseous feeling of shame began to settle itself into your veins.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting there but when she slightly raises her voice; “Are you getting up or not?” your hands actively begin to tremble the slightest amount.

You’re making moves to get up by puting your coffee cup down, not knowing what to do except follow commands.

Your interrupted by a voice from behind; “She’s coming in, give us a minute”

Mingyu’s standing there, his expression stoic as Seungkwan and Vernon looked as stunned as you felt. You don’t register it in the moment, but the people in the hall, venue staff and those for other artists have also silenced, watching the scene unfold.

Her lips are in a tight line, her expression remaining irritated as she steps back inside the room.

You realise you need to do something to diffuse the escalated situation. Letting out a breathy laugh, you get up and tell them that you’ll be going inside, trying to keep your expression pleasant and unaffected, not waiting before turning around to spare them the burden of a response. People get yelled at everyday, and this is no different. You aren’t gonna be the one to make a scene out of a regular occurrence.

You know what's coming when you get inside, she’s waiting as she pulls you aside.

“Your behavior has been quite concerning recently, let me remind you of your place here and what you were hired to do. You've been dilly dallying with people who aren't even your friends, and its quite funny that you’d think they are. It's time to wake up from wasting your time making heart eyes at men who are way out of your league. I won't tolerate any more nonsense from you, and trust I won’t be this nice or forgiving the next time this happens”

You choose to nod your head.

“That’s another thing, use your own words. Don’t think other people are gonna be there all the time to speak for you” She spits out, her professional front slowly eroding the more she spoke.

“Yes, ma’am” You say, hoarse voice.

“Louder, next time”, she stalks out as majority of the people in the room also begin to leave for the filming downstairs.

You’re left standing awkwardly in front of the racks of clothes, trying to digest what just happened to you. Looking around the room, you try to figure out what your supposed to do.

Clothes on the couches, eyeshadow brushes on the floor. There’s a torn sponge resting underneath one of the chairs, a couple styrofoam boxes left on the tables from lunch.

There’s so much for you to do, you arent sure how you thought you had time to sit down and chat. But you’re not sure where to begin either. The room is a mess of smells and colours even without the buzzing noise of people getting ready. Tears begin to form as you try to navigate what you’re supposed to do, realising you can’t possibly find a starting point for any of this mess. Before you have time to think of anything else, a hand is holding onto your wrist, small and soft.

It’s Yoona, another one of the makeup artists.

“Y/n, I think it’s best if you go home, it’s been tiring.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle her. Just trust me. Go home you’ll feel alot better”

She notices you hesitate for a second, and goes in to give you a hug.

It felt nice, to be hugged by a friend. For some reason, it didn’t feel like she was pitying you, her expression and aura reassuring you that you didn’t have to stand here alone.

“Whatever happened today shouldn't have happened, but you don’t need to think about that right now. Go home and do nice things for yourself, we’ll figure it out later. You have my number, give me a text once you get home. We can go out later if you want, when I get off work, to get your mind off things”

You’re not sure how you’re holding back the waterpark that has become of your tearducts as you hear those words from an unsuspecting friend, you nod with a smile. You feel a little more calm.

You can’t tell if you care enough to consider the consequences of your senior finding out how you’re doubling or nothing on your already posed humiliation. But the only thing you can think of right now is your bed and the ceiling you’d stare burn holes into.

So you, for the first time in a while, chose to choose yourself by picking up your satchel and leaving the chaos behind you as you walk to your car.

***

Just because you were brave where it mattered most doesn’t mean you weren’t allowed to cry.

You had come home, shot Yoona a brief text, and promptly began to sob the absolute Nile into your sheets.

You had never cried like this before, loud wracked sobs coming from a place in your chest you had locked away during a time you couldn’t even remember. You’re breathing after every choked cry is a sputtered intake of life, only to spit it back out as you let out another sob of what sounds like agony. There’s nothing in your head, nothing but the words that were spoken to you as echoes of your own mind. Hypocritical of you to hate them when the same words circled in your head like a mantra every cursed, unfortunate day. She had done you a favour, by spitting out the truth you’d stewed, chewed and kept in your mouth ever since you got here. This was a you problem, to believe that you were capable of things beyond your bracket. You were told by the universe, screamed at by the world, that this was never meant for you, and you chose to ignore it. You chose to be stubborn. You brought this misery upon yourself.

Once you’ve disposed your body weight of tears and snot and burden, you’re left to stare at your innocent sheets now stained with mascara and your sorrows. You crawl into your covers and rest your muscles for a few seconds, head empty. You aren’t sure when you drift off, but you're glad that you do.

You don’t dream for once.

***

You wake up feeling like you drank a gallon of water and went to sleep. Your eyes, nose and throat feel like they’ve been over watered yet dry at the same time. You don’t realise what’s really arising pangs of irritancy in your brain once you figure out the consistent sound is a door bell. You’re doorbell, of the house that you live in.

You’re slow to push yourself up, realising your slept in your day clothes. It’s dark out but you're not sure what time it is, and quite frankly, you can’t say you care enough to check. You need to silence your doorbell first, which can only be done by silencing whatever hell sent individual was playing drums on the button outside.

It’s a record screech in your brain as you peer through your peephole and realise who the aforementioned hell sent individual was.

Mingyu was outside your door.

You don’t realise you look like you crawled out of a sewer till it’s too late and you’ve already opened the door through muscle memory. Mingyu was always welcome in your space.

He was in casual clothes, his hair pushed back from the guessed hands that ran through it, but he was still in stage his stage makeup.  

“Oh, were you sleeping?” He asks, eyes a little wide, expression cautious.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll go then, you weren’t answering your phone for anyone and you told Yoona you were home but you weren’t opening the door, i was worried. Sorry I ringed it so much I probably should’ve assumed-”

He stops to look at you, and it’s like realizes something before he finally says; “Just wanted to make sure you were okay, I’ll see you around. I’ll leave you alone”

“Wait,” you croak out, licking your lips, conscious of your morning voice, “Can you stay? Please? If you can.”

He stops to look at you, expression changing from sheepish to defensive.

“No! I mean, yes. Yes. I’ll stay. I’ll stay for as long as you want”

You let him in as he slips off his shoes and you lead him to the living room. His presence in the familiar place seems like it last happened eras ago, when he was only here maybe a week prior.  

“You know where everything is, I’ll be back gimme like 5 minutes”

You’re scared to look at yourself in your bathroom mirror, so you don’t, and choose to scrub your face looking down at your sink. You change into a sweatshirt and trouser loungewear set, deciding to save your dignity a little bit further as you brush your hair and clip it back with a claw clip.

You take a breath before entering the living room again.

He’s sitting on the floor in your usual place, two steaming mugs on the coffee table, the tabs hanging out of the cup. He made you tea.

You sit down next to him, not really prepared for what you should be saying.

“How long has she been speaking to you like that?” He asks you quietly.

“She was always kinda itchy and uptight and stuff but, it was never like this” You say.

“Regardless, whatever that was, it was, wrong, uncalled for, all of those things” He says, sputtering a little bit.

He stops and sighs. It’s silect for a minute before he turns in his seat to face you, grabbing your folded legs and pulling you to face him too.

“Yoona heard everything she said to you after you went in, she heard it all. And she knows about some other stuff too. If you think, even for a second, that I’m not your friend, I might actually think there’s something wrong with you.

“If everything we’ve been through this past, almost a year, doesn’t amount to us at least being friends then I don’t know what it means to have one at all. You’re the first person in a while I’ve been able to be this open with. You know me better than most people, you’ve seen me at my worst and at my best. I’ve let you read me all you want, because I know I can be an open book if it’s you. I trust you more than I can trust myself sometimes, and I really wish you would trust me too.”

You’re watching him as he says all of this, you look up to make eye contact a couple times, and he’s looking at you everytime you lift your head.

“I do trust you. Probably more than anyone else. It’s myself I don’t trust. It’s hard for me to open up, I’m scared I’m gonna say something that’ll scare you away. And, I just thought maybe she was right today, that I need to realise that it can’t be that way between us, I have a job to do”

“What can’t be between us?”

“I like you, Mingyu. Like, I’m basically in love with you and have been since I fucking met you. I couldn’t believe that you could possibly be friends with someone like me, a confused, all over the place airhead who can’t tell right from left sometimes, forget you ever liking me. All that happened is that we became friends and I thought that this was as far as fate was gonna push us. All today told me was that … that was an overextension too. It was a wake up call that I can’t have everything in life. Things were going too well for us and I was letting myself think it could stay that way forever. I’m sorry for being this way, I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable and out of place. This is the last thing you’d want to hear from a friend and I’m sorry I’m putting you in this situation right now and that you had to go through that today-”

You don’t finish what your saying because you're interrupted. Interrupted by arms pulling you forward and into Mingyu in front of you.

Your both sitting in your living room at 3 AM, on the floor in front of your sofa like you both have so many times. Except now, Mingyu is holding you in his arms, and kissing you so delicately it hurts.

It’s warm, like getting into bed after a long day, the scent of home and security engulfing you as you begin to forget about the qualms of life.

He’s moving his lips slowly, with care and a feeling so overflowing you can’t describe.

He lets go slowly and rests his forehead against yours, his arms are around you tight, legs wrapped around your entire body so you can't escape - physically or mentally.

“You dumbass” You hear him say.

“I love you,Y/n. More than anything. And I need you to know that you don’t have to hide. If you think your thoughts are a burden then I want to carry it for you. I want you to realise you’re not alone. I want you to stop pushing me away. Everytime I want to do something nice for you, you try to push the effort to something else, everytime I try to take care of you, you have this look that makes me think you feel guilty for taking up my time or something. Everytime I think you’re about to ask me to stay the night, you remind me I have priorities and I should go, even though I know you want me to stay with you. I want you to stop caring so much for how other people feel and realise you can demand the same from the universe too. You deserve love and to be treated with care. You need to let people do that for you, love.”

Your looking at him now, your turn to have stars in your eyes.

He loves you.

And you feel it. You feel it in his words, in his eyes, in the kisses he’s leaving on your face, in his arms that are wrapped around you, ready to shield you from the world.

You don’t say anything as you fall into his chest, head on shoulder, relaxed body in the cage he’s made for you. You close your eyes as the tears are burning down your face. Except, this time they’re because your relieved.

You both got up from the uncomfortable floor and moved to your bed, still tangled within each other as you clarified everything else.

You found out that majority of the people who heard it were very upset at the situation, but didn’t know how to approach or confront her.

Seungkwan almost bust a blood vessel after he had digested what had happened, disbelief and threats on his tongue as he refused to get touched up by her during filming, apparently making a point to walk to somebody else. Seungcheol was thinking of trying to bring up the problem to management, considering how Mingyu too was distracted all the way home.

“The rest of them have gotten quite protective of you too, I think. It’s not like I shut up about you”

Apparently the only reason you were asked to start taking charge on makeup was because some of the other senior artists pressured your mentor to stop restricting you. It made you feel a little more secure that it wasn’t just you that felt pushed down.

She didn’t like that you were doing so well, considering it meant she was wrong about you and your abilities. It hurt her ego a little bit that people stopped preferring her to do their makeup or their touchups, how they wouldn’t interact with her the same way.

“Alot coming from a middle aged, married woman, attention seeking like a child” Mingyu added, scoffing with a sour face as he nuzzled into the crown of your head.

“The boys really like you by the way, they’ve been rooting for us since forever” He says, and your heart swells unimaginably so; you felt loved, so so loved.

You scooch up to plant a kiss on the underside of his chin and then one on his lips.

“That makes me happy”

“I’m happy that you’re happy. You deserve to be happy, everyday” He smooches you on the face again. “Oh, and don’t worry about that stinky face I’ll take care of her”

You laugh at the determination in his voice, but you wanted to clarify something.

“Please, let me handle her myself. I’ll ask for help if she’s stubborn but I wanna try by myself first”

“That was hot”

You push his chest away as you bark out a laugh at the random comment, hiding you face, by turning the other way.

He battles that by pull you back into his chest and continuing his atics

“What I can’t call my girlfriend hot. You’re hot. Your the sexiest motherfucker I’ve ever seen” smooch “You’re beautiful” and again  “amazing” and again “gorgeous spectacular-”

You don’t fall asleep until the sun has well made its way up the sky, taking the executive decision to sleep in till way past lunch and maybe even take a nap afterwards.

You don’t care how it goes, because your happy just being with him.

***

You met with Yoona a couple days later at a cafe.

“Seungcheol asked us if we were facing the same kind of behaviour from her too. And everyone told him she was stuck up and rude and stuff. He said he wanted to bring it up to management but it didn’t really concern him directly so they wouldn’t listen. He told us to do so ourselves and we thought about it, but we’re gonna need to tell them about that too”

You nod your head as you listen to her speak, it was making sense.

“I dont mind going up to management at all and talking about it. I get that the rest of the stuff is a little too tame to be considered, which sucks because she shouldn’t be talking to us like that at all”

“Mhm, and I was thinking we could vouch for you on how she was restraining you for almost a year. Basically not letting you do your job. That’d be a another thing for them to think about”

“Yeah. Let’s do it asap, how’s this Monday?”

“Perfect, I’ll add everyone to a group chat and let them know”

And go up to management you did, who were surprisingly understanding. Apparently having received multiple reports and even videos of the most recent incident to act as proof. It was working out for all of you, and it proved to stay that way as they responded with a promise to shift her to a different department.

You had gone home that day feeling fulfilled and relieved. Mingyu, a man with spectacular timing had also proceeded to send you a text as a distraction,

[Mingyu]: Kwan wants to come over

[Mingyu]: something about croissants

[Mingyu]: Should he text you ab it?

[You]: yeah ofc

[You]: I’ll order the butter

[You]: you tell him to text me lol

Two nights ago felt like it happened last year with all the unimaginable advances deciding to happen within the past 48 hours. Right now you were more excited for the company you were about to recieve, more concerned with making sure you made the best batch of croissants Seungkwan ever did see.

***

You were in the car with Mingyu outside the company building, waiting until the clock struck 9 to go inside.

Today was the last day you’d think about this, being called up for a face to face meeting with the staff member, so she could formally apologise. The team had planned a dinner tonight, to celebrate the end of her ‘wicked reign’ as Yoona described it.

You were finding friends everywhere, ones that were always there, pulling through for each other as you yourself navigated a new direction of thinking for yourself. You were learning to walk past your anxiety ridden desire to draw lines with everyone, as you took the first step with the dinner tonight. It would be fun for you, and a bond you’d begin to build.

You learned that you weren’t delusional anymore, and that Mingyu did love you the same. It had only been a week or so, but one of the happiest weeks of your life, despite everything. He was teaching you more lessons than he thought he was.

Mingyu squeezes your hand from the driver’s side as it was past 9, “Let’s go?”

“Lets go”

***

Mingyu’s way too enthusiastic as soon as he wakes up, indulging you in a morning (afternoon) makeout session, claiming he doesn’t care for you morning breath.

“Well I do!” you exclaim, pushing him off with a giggle “About your morning breath, stinky”

He clutches his chest in dramatic offense, “How could you? I thought you loved me”

You respond my projecting a cushion to his face.

“Do you want pancakes or eggs for breakfast?” You ask, legs hanging over the bed.

Mingyu looks up, a wicked glint in his eye, and you immediately know he’s going to say something of no help.

“I want you for breakfast” He says, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you back in bed.

“MINGYU!”

Needless to say, all was well.

[danihow]

Flowers and flames

Prohero!Shoto Todoroki x Florist!Reader Boku no hero academia

Word Count: 3.3k

Summary: You never planned on having a reunion with your ex boyfriend, and never in a million years you thought it would be in a victim-pro hero situation.

Warnings: Language, robbery, flower quirk reader, bad written drama, fire, kiribaku, and fluff? Idk.

A/N: Funny story is I started it LONG ago, like, season 4 was barely our and all, and I havent kept on watching the show so this is written as far as my knowledge goes, idk if anybody is dead, so im sorry there, literally publishing this like 3 years after but who cares.

In some cases, just sometimes, they were the right person, they were the one you were meant to be with for the rest of your life, the one whose arms ressemble a home, a safe place where nothing could keep on haunting you and your heart flutters, finally relaxing in happiness. They are, indeed, your soulmate.

Still, even if they are the most amazing person you've ever met, even if they are the one, in cases the timing makes you thing otherwise, that they were not what your heart made you think and they get away, the path of their life no longer colliding with yours in the way it did before. They are not longer your life, your everything, they are just strangers again, stranger with memories.

And it hurts at the beginning, the light in your chest is deemed away, the days take longer to pass by, the time stops but... not in the good way, time seems to be stuck in the middle of everything and nothing, giving eternal seconds to your heartbreak to eat you alive and tear, piece by piece, the strings that connected you to your will of living.

It all seems to be like a never ending snowstorm.

But now, winter has passed, your heart was alive again, your memories were tossed to the back of your brain as you welcomed a new light in your life: you were staring to love again but this time, yourself.

A bit more than six years have gone by since that realtionship ended. Around two thousand, two hundred a fifty days of your emotional healing process. The sun shining behind the tall building, just about in the angle that provided the earth with some beautiful orange hues of light that gave everything around you a little bit more of life.

You were alive, you were breathing, you were happy, and you were relieved.

Your work at the flower shop just ended, closing time making its way around. Just ten more minutes and then you could go back home. It had been a busy but provechous day, since August is the month with the most birthdays the amount of bouquet orders this month have been insane. Your hands have crafted a ton of bouquets today, all kind of bouquet, from formal bouquets that contained monotoned flowers to the most colorful mix everyone could imagine. But you didn't felt tired, you felt happy of making others happy.

The ring of the doorbell woke you from your memories, a tall man in a suit walking in the shop, his red eyes wandering the place with calm, eyeing the peonies, the roses, the sunflowers and the chrystaseums.

"Hi sir! How can I help you today?" Your voice came out in a friendly tone once the man standed right infront of the register.

"Hi, I have a dat- Y/N?" Your name dropping of this stranger's mouth made you look at him now with more concern that friendliness washing over your face.

Your eyes began to wander over his face, the gears in your brain starting to spin as he rang some memory in the back of your head. He was tall, muscular, a defined jaw that dragged the attention to his face, prominent cheekbones that went well with the wildness in his blonde hair and remarked the power behind those dark red eyes... Red eyes.

"Bakugo?"

"It's been way too long since the last time I saw you." He muttered, his eyes inspecting the facial features of his long time friend.

"Uh, y-yeah. Like six years I think. What brings you to my flowershop?"

"Oh, right. I need a bouquet with some pink flowers that kinda looks like a pom-pom." He says, his hands trying to imitate the size and shape of the flower he's thinking about, your mind instantly getting what he means.

"What color do you want for the pom-pom flowers?"

Your steps were still light as he remembered them to be when you dated his friend. "I was thinking of white pom-pom flowers with some red peonies."

"You are one lucky man Bakugo, these right here are the last peonies I will have for the rest of the week." You giggle, taking some white alliums in between your hands, along with some peonies and yellow yarrows to the crafting table.

"What can I say, luck has always been on my side." He says with a smirk. The blond being less agressive than you remembered him to be at 18.

"May I ask who is the lucky person receiving flowers from you?"

"I'm gifting them to my boyfriend, Kirishima, it's our four year anniversary today."

"You finally got with Kiri? That's awesome Katsuki! Congrats!" You happily cheer in him, a soft blush in his ears and nose as he laughs your words aside.

"Thanks Y/N." He mutters, eyes fixated in the bouquet you are working on. "I'm really lucky to have him actually. Pro hero life is such a fucking mess all the time, he's the only one keeping me sane."

"Is great to see you happy and sane, Bakugo. It really is." You smile at him, finishing the bouquet. "It would be five thousand yen, sir." You say, the man handing you the money while taking the flowers.

"Thank you, it's really pretty, Y/N." He smiles, taking small steps towards the door, stopping with his hand in the handle. "Can I ask you somtheing?"

"Sure."

"What happened? Why... Why did you distanced yourself from us? From him?"

Your heart sunk a bit, a train of memories going through your head and heart.

"It... wasn't working, Katsuki, I didn't belonged there in your world, I am not a hero, I was just a person with a stupid flower quirk." You laugh it off, the pain, the heartache that settled in the middle of you, roots of stinging memories encaging your heart. "Distancing was an easy was of cowarding, of getting away from the routine, the emotional danger I would put Shoto in."

"...okay." He nodded his head, accepting how you felt. "I know it isn't easy to break a relationship like the one you had, you are not a coward, you know? It takes a lot of courage to distance yourself from those who you love." Katsuki gifts you a comforting smile, his hand taking out a small card from his pocket and placing it in a shelf near him. "There's my number if you ever need help from a hero, or a friend."

"Thank you, Bakugou, it really means a lot." You smiled at him, looking at his face and the sfot yet still somehow harsh gaze in his eyes, his small playful smile made it seem as if he was a whole new person, and it made you happy to look at him this happy even for a hero, Kiri must be doing some good ass work as his boyfriend. "See you later, have a good day!" You said to the blonde who returned your smile and waved back before the door closed.

With a little smile you sighed, your heart felt torned against the memories this little reunion has brought back. You started picking up the mess the flowers let on the counter top, you took the broom and started swiping the dust from the floor, then you cleaned and put everything in its place, a bit more than half an hour later you were done and ready to go home.

You took your keys and your belonging, tossing a rose that was about to bloom in your bag so you could put it in you nightstand and it would last a bit longer, walking out the door of your shop and when you were just about to take the keys out someone muttered from behind you. "Open up again, and give me all in the cashier, if you don't I will not hesitate to kill you."

You slowly turned around, seeing a man with his blue hand laid to you, ready to shoot something if you didn't obey. "You want money?"

"Of course I want the money, what kind of stupid ass question is that." He snarled, signaling at you to reenter the shop.

"Yeah, yeah right." You nodded, any type of quirk he had it did not seemed to be very friendly.

Rather quick for your shaking hands you managed to get the keys again in the door and open it, walking inside with the robber behind.

"I don't have all day, just do as I say and you will not get hurt." You nodded and he smiled. "Put your things aside, I don't want you calling nobody while I'm here, sweetheart."

Putting your keys and bag aside in the floor you did as they said. "Now, walk your ass to the register and put all the money in this bag and no funny bussiness while doing that." He ordered, tossing a black bag at you.

How the fuck did no one noticed him in the shop? There was still some deam light from the sunset, it was nearly impossible for him to threaten you like that and no one to take it in and do something. But you were not going to let him rob all your money that easy.

While doing what he said in and oddly slow manner, you concentrated your self to using your quirk with that one rose you had put in your bag to make it grow enough for it to reach your phone, feeling how the rose moved slowly and with its stem you tried dialing any number in your phone, the last one saved being Bakugou's.

"Hello?" He ask, your number not saved in his contacts. "Who's this?" Even if he was talking rather loudly it was muffled by your bag, thanking the gods for that.

"Can't you do it faster? At this rate I will be taking the money myself you useless scumbag." The man was getting desperate, he actively didn't wanted to get caught by any heroes today.

"I'm sorry, sir." You answered rather loydly for anyone the rose dialed to hear.

"Y/N?" Bakugou asked, hearing carefully to the voices.

"That's all you got in that register? Really?"

"I mean, you are robbing a flowershop, ain't you?"

"Oh they must be stupid." Bakugou muttered hanging up and calling back to his agency to notify any heores near the shop to help you.

"Shut up okay?! Look at the back or something, I'm not leaving until I got some money."

You nodded, your mouth shutting as you walked to the back of the shop and he followed you just to make sure you didn0t called someone or did something suspicious.

You took longer to open the emergency monsey suplly, and even longer putting the money in the bag as he asked. Each second that passes made you more nervous.

What if the flowers didn't do anything? What if they didn't answer?

The thought of losing it all rolling around your mind over and over again, hands trembling to the point the bills were falling out of your hands onto the floor, spreading around the floor.

"are you stupid?" The man asked, picking you up by the shirt, tossing you around as he took over the money handling, sparks leaving out of his hands as he did.

In a matter of seconds a scandal was heard from outside, a siren far away. "You called smeone?" He asked in a shout, turning towards you. "You dumb bitch." He said, a weak snapping from his fingers shocking you lightly, enough for pain to flow around your body and a yelp escape your lips. "Shut up. Now, you ain't getting out of here." He says, manhandling you until he could tie you to the metallic beam that supported the wall.

You pleaded him to let you go, you couldn't do anything, your quirk was useless, but he didn't even spared a look at you, his quirk setting some of your paperwork on fire, himself running out to the front door.

Panicked, you stare at the papers in fire, rapidly becoming bigger and bigger, spreading to the boxes full of wrapping suplies.

"Shit, shit, shit." You say, trying hard to get out of the tie. Maybe, maybe you could still use your quirk with your flowers. The thought inmediately making you concentrate, fire spreading throught the wooden ceiling to the front of the store, smoke coming bewteen the glass doors.

You were trying, really hard, to make your plants grow, the cracking of the flames making hard to hear the growning crowd outside, smoke engulfing the little back room. You started yelling for help, in hope of anyone hearing you from outside or the stores besides.

"Please, please someone." You pleaded, coughing fits interrupting your yelling, you felt lightheaded, unable to keep on yelling. You tried again to use your quirk, hoping atleast one flower was still intact out there in your shelves. Soon, your mind was everywhere and anywhere, memories of today vagantly flowing through it.

"Y/N?" You heard a familiar voice yell, steps louder, the fire and the smoke making your eyes teary, difficulting even seeing clearly.

Maybe it's bakugo. You though to yourself, trying to find some strength between you to yeel again, only to end up coughing.

"Y/N." Your blurry eyes barely picked on the sillouete, a tall fram ecoming in, coldness spreading from it, a warm hand picking you up and snapping the tie around your wrists, helping you get to your feet.

The next couple of minute were a blur, being dragged out to the street, multiple voices surrounding you, fresh air making your lungs ache, as if you were breathing pure alcohol and your lungs were open wounds.

"You okay?" The familiar voice asks again, your eyes finally clearing and being met by a mismatched pair.

"Shoto?" You ask, hand extending you touch his face, in case your dazed mind was playing tricks on you.

"It's me, y7n, you're okay, it's okay." His hand gentle on your shoulder to help you get seated. "The ambulance is on their way, don't force yourself."

"My shop..." You say, staring at it engulfed in flames, windows broken, not a signal of anything intact in it. A deep sadness fulfilling you, the fear, the anger, the dissapointment all filing you and exploiting, fat tears flooding from your face.

"Does something hurt?" Shoto asks, worry deep in his features at the sight of you crying.

You can't find it in you to answer, hand clapped against your mouth to muffle your ugly cries.

You don't know how much time passes, but it feel eternal as the paramedics are checking you, giving you oxygen and checking your light burns.

"Where's Y/N?" You hear Kirishima's voice from the distance, him and Bakugo both making their way to the scene, a relieved look on their faces as they spot you seated with the paramedics. "Are you okay? Where did the fire came from?" They ask, the bouquet you made earlier in Kirishima's hands, making you smile lightly.

"I'm fine, unemployed, but fine." You mutter. "Now get back to your date, it's okay." You signal to the, both sharing a look before sighing.

"Why do you have a phone if you won't answer?" Bakugo asked, the angry tone he put to masquerade his worry made you chuckle, reminding you of your high school years.

You knew yu didn't have to asnwer, and seeing Bakugo overreact and Kirishima calm him infront of you made you chuckle louder.

Maybe you do have missed them.

Once the paramedics cleared you out and treated your burns you went over to Shoto who just finished talking to the police.

"Shoto" You called, he barely heard you as he turned around t oface you, an awkard smile on his face now that eberything was cleared.

"Hi..." He mutters, nodding to you.

"Thank you." You say, finally looking at him rightly. Paying attention to his matured features, jaw more prominent, frame wider and he seemed taller, hair a bit mure ruffled and longer than you remembered, eyes looking at you as softly as your memories recalled. "Seriously."

"It's my job, it's nothing." h¿He dismisses, nodding again. "I'm... uh, relieved that you're fine."

"Thanks." You nod, fiddling with your hands. "I'll go."

"Can we talk for a second? I mean, a few more." He says abruptly, eyes never leaving yours. After you nodded and stayed, he kept on talking. "I always had this question ever since you broke up with me and... seeing you now may be the only chance i'll have to clear it out." He started, looking deeply into your face in search of anything that told him you didn0t wanted to hear him out.

"The thing i want to say is... why did you do it? I- I thought we were doing great and I never stood where I went wrong."

"You never went wrong. I did." You started, unable to look him in the eye as you were spitting out what happened. "I-I was scared, everything was so wrong even though it felt so right. You were always in the spotlight, always being chased after, and after eberything that happened I got scared i was weakening you." You said, not looking at the way Shoto's features formed a face of sadness. "I never wanted to intefere with your job, I loved you too much to keep you from moving forward. I... just felt like a weight, you were much safer without me around."

"Why didn't you talk it with me?" He muttered, searching for your eyes. "You did worse by leaving than staying."

"That aint true. We dont know that, we dont know what the villains could do to us if we were kept together." You thought you would feel sad, but surpisingly, you were relieved as everything was finally spilled.

"what happened with what i felt?" His words slow, careful. "You mever stopped to wonder if I wanted you around even through out all the risks? It was selfish I know, but you were keeping me sane, keeping me alive."

"I'm sorry, I know it was wrong, but look at you now." You signal to the enitre of him. "You are an amizing hero, you fulfilled your dreams, you didnt needed me for that."

"But i wanted you there." He sighed. "I couldnt help but wonder, all these years, what if you talked to me, what if you were still with me?"

"I was a weakness, Shoto."

"No, you were my strength, you kept me grounded." He snaps, tears forming n his eyes. "After I lost you I thought I lost everything, I didnt have you to protect, to keep on foghting."

"But you kept pushing forward didnt you"

"Ueh but... That was because I knew you were stillout there, I found strength in the thought of protecting everything in case you were there."

"Shoto..."

"Its been six years, y/n. What if..." He stops midway, taking berak to gather some air. "What if we try again, as adults?"

"Its not that easy."

"My life will never be easy, we know that, but, maybe, we can try." His hands are ithcing to hold yours now. "If you seriously are over me, if you really dont want me near, say it now; but i know, i stilll want you."

"Sho..."

"This time, I want an answer.¿, I want to hear you out, I want you to say to me what you think."

His words dug deep into your heart, pain coming out of wound you didnt knew you had, but the thought of him made you flutter a bit, something you thought as dead coming back to life inside of you again.

Was it now the right time?

"What if we dont work out?" You scarely ask.

"Then, I'll let you go, but I'll let you go knowing that I fought for you." You didnt know what happened to him, but hearing him talk like that ignited a little flame in your heart.

"Let's try then. But we have to get to know each other again."

"Sure."

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hey, Absolutely love your work, your the reason for my insomnia. (im blaming you yes)

Can you make a baek seongjun scenario where jinho lee is introducing us to him as his new 'assistant' (like the first meeting)? Maybe over dinner lol idek.

Ty for your time tho :)

Hi Anon! Please get some sleep if you can! Although my sleep pattern has been shot to shit since I've started all this wordvom a couple months ago. Interesting what sleep deprivation does to a person, look at all this shit streaming out of me.

Thank you so much for reading and for requesting! I've gone for a little bit more... bittersweet.

Baek Seongjun x Reader: Cooking on the boat

Takes place on Jinho's boat during Seongjun's backstory. You're the cook.

"This is my assistant, Seongjun. Now he's your assistant too."

Being stuck on a boat out at sea, serving food to criminals, wasn't what most kids dream of when they're 6 years old and writing out their ideal job, but if it meant evading the authorities and jail then that's fine by you.

Jinho kept you around because you knew your way around a knife, and you definitely didn't mind getting your hands messy.

Obedient, you sometimes heard him sneer. Like a sheep. Well, fuck him.

You eye up this Seongjun guy. Looks like him and Jinho are cut from the same cloth.

.

.

Seongjun thinks you're quiet, a bit too quiet for his liking.

Taking to your duties and tasks with tunnel vision and a ruthless tenacity. He doesn't know what to make of you.

"You're handling the fish wrong," are your first words to him, a few days after he incessantly buzzed around your dinky little makeshift kitchen.

Your hand grazed his when you grabbed the fish and hip-checked him to move aside.

It's been so long since Seongjun felt a touch that wasn't intended to hurt, that the question mark over you grows bigger.

.

.

You show Seongjun how to rinse the rice properly, he wasn't even aware that there was a wrong way.

How to season food appropriately, and that peppermint leaves rubbed under the nose comes in handy to keep the stench of all the seafood away.

With practiced hands, how to clean the scales, the fin and fillet the fish. Removing most of the bones in one piece, making the most of the meat.

When Seongjun first does it and butchers the attempt, you give him a light slap on the arm and a huff.

He gives you a smile in return.

.

.

Seongjun watches you move around in the kitchen.

Your ease and flow in the kitchen gives him some semblance of peace.

It reminds him a little of his mom and his heart aches.

.

.

Little anecdotes of Seongjun's life in Japan slips through. He focuses on the good things, as few as there was.

He tells you a little of his judo when you poke fun at his cauliflower ears.

You tell him how important it is to not waste any food when prepping, and he in returns shares how his mother always makes the most amazing meals out of next to nothing.

One day, Seongjun mentions that if things worked out, he would have liked to have opened up a soba noodle shop with his mom.

You ask him if he could make you some noodles. Give you a little taste of what that life could have been like.

.

.

Seongjun places the noodles in front of you, served in a mess-tin. The boat had little room and the men had little appreciation for luxuries such as crockery.

You take a mouthful-

And find it absolutely revolting.

Seongjun watches you as you school your face and swallow it down with a struggle.

"Is it good?"

"... Not bad." You grit out your little white lie, thinking about his soba shop dream. You could at least give him this mercy.

It's unexpected when he laughs. Is this the first time you have seen and heard this? His face looks years younger, and the sound surprisingly care-free. You didn't think people like you and him were still capable of such joy.

"Sorry. I actually messed it up."

"Baek Seongjun! And you still fed me this shit?"

Wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, he tells you "Yes."

You're in half a mind to pour the rest of this disgusting meal all over him. But seeing him like this, it's contagious.

The sound of your laughter soon joins his.

.

.

Years from now, when Seongjun is building his life in South Korea, he still remembers you giggling alongside him.

It reminds him that some things in life are priceless.

[machathecat]

OK NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS BUT IM FINALLY GOING TO RAMBLE ABOUT MY OCS SUJSJQJQBA

Warning this is going to be chaotic as fuck

First the characters themselves

((all lineart made with this picrew, I only colored it. Also ofc they got clothes in canon but I'm too lazy to edit it so y'all r gonna have to wait till I finally get the fucking energy to draw them))

Here's Moia! He/they, 15 at the start of the story, transmasc n asexual. He's pretty far from having a good life, they're father is an asshole, they got no friends at school, his life is shit and he's very probably depressed. Only thing really keeping him going is their best friend Eden (he/she/it, white bunny with a bunch of brown splotches) one day he was walking to school and got hit with a car n got send to a liminal space world (call me cringe if you want idgaf) called the Ethereal Plane, he met a friend there and he's living a life 100x better than on earth. They miss their best friend tho

And speaking of his new friend here's Richard! 40/45 year old, he's been stuck in the Ethereal Plane since MAAANY YEARS and lost track of time, He/him, bisexual. (Also he's supposed to be way more chubby than in the pic but I didn't though of editing it at first rip) He got cool grandpa vibes n is basically a father figure to Moia. He knows a lot about the place and guide them through the weird lands n shit. They're a cool duo

So a bit more about the Ethereal Plane itself, it's literally just those aesthetic liminal spaces pictures

That basically

It doesn't really make sense how a place lead to another, you could open the emergency door of a market and find yourself in the middle of a never ending grassland. Sometimes you walk in a open space, zone out and when you go back to reality your in a completely different place (note that if someone fully conscious of their environment is watching you, you can't get teleported while daydreaming n shit)

A very phew creatures live there, some species from earth managed to noclip to this world a few years ago and have evolved to survive in some parts of it. For example, you can find two headed bunny pretty much everywhere. Some creature are dangerous, but they live in very specific part of the Ethereal Plane , generally in packs.

This world had a permanent feeling of peace, it's hard to describe but you know that emotion when you see a liminal space pic that hit you hard and you just feel calm for a second like if nothing else mattered? That's this feeling but constantly. It's pretty pleading actually

I don't really wanna spoil much about the plot, y'all just gonna have to wait till I post a drawing here and there until you can fullfil every pieces of the puzzle in 2/3 years ig lmao. Just know if it was a tv show, the first ep would show how crappy Moia life is, the second the first day he spend in the Plane, rest of the first season just him n Richard having cool adventures there without much plot just 95 showing characters personality and shit. It would have a season 2 that I think would be the last but I'm not done thinking about every details yet for that sooo y'all gonna have to wait and see

ALSO SORRY FOR PUTTING THIS AT THE END LMFAO BUT the name of whatever this is is "a cat who got lost in the backrooms" (technically a reference to a childhood book but I doubt anyone will get it rip)

Ok now have fun hearing me only talking about those random guys I made in my head for either the next few hours or next few months idfk byeee

[iantimony]

tuez

yayyy

listening: release radar: i get it now (sammy rae) (wauuughhhh. emo. i miss my partner) come over (cat's pajamas) stuck (scene queen) nerima (raspberry pie) never me (penelope) beirut (rob blivion) rule #34 (fish in a birdcage) bourgeoisieses (conan grey) milk town/mr carter (nep) doppelganger - lullaby (ethan bortnick) my baby loves to dance (kenya grace) horror night (starcourt) (@delta-orionis, you will like this one)

some from last week that i forgor to note down: tiny human (elohim), some type of skin (aurora), chukotka (otyken), training season (dua lipa, chloe caillet mix), georgian spirit (equbeats), online (twrp), someone else (kenya grace)

aaaand formentera/formentera ii again.

podcasts: wtyp on the francis scott key bridge collapse, and jim gordon must die podcast of all time

reading: i started reading 'bunny' by mona awad because it came up as a recommendation in libby when i was returning mdzs. i am going to be valiant and give it one more chapter but i do not like it. it feels like its trying very hard to emulate a certain type of vibe that i already don't find super appealing in fiction so the trying-vibe of it makes it even more uninteresting to me. the premise is a girl at a mfa program in nebulous New England Private Liberal Arts School(tm) which like, fine, dark academia or whatever; there are four (five?? i literally cannot remember which, lol) other girls in her cohort who are a weird clique and call each other 'bunny' and are rich and sheltered but harboring a Dark Secret Club. sure. the first few chapters ooze 'not like other girls'-ism, the 'bunny' characters themselves feel flat and like caricatures in an unappealing way, main character's other friend ava also is a caricature in a boring way, just very uninspiring. like i said i will give it another chapter or two but if it continues to bore me i will return it.

i finished the scum villain extras! very charming.

watching: keeping up to date with dunmeshi, yay, and also been continuing to watch endeavor with a friend. it's good! i love a mystery show! it is impossible to watch without subtitles though because they are So British. relatedly i am going to terf island for two weeks in june (london and then edinburgh) so if you know any recs for food, places, etc i am all ears!

playing: this weekend was going to be 3 dnd games in a row ... then monday was postponed to next monday ... but my sunday group, which is normally every other week, has decided to play next sunday as well bc we skipped a few weeks ... so Next weekend is the 3 day dnd combo lmfao. i don't mind too bad.

making: pottery!!! some bisque came out and i am soooo chuffed (<- endeaver tv show britishism rubbing off on me) this will be its own post with more images because i want to @ the inspiring artist, jbbartram-illu on tumblr (shop); i am obsessed with the cave painting mugs from a few months ago that immediately sold out so i was like fuck it i wanna make my own. and i am obsessed with my lil fat horses. i put amaco ancient jasper on the inside and just a matte clear on the outside. hopefully it is matte enough. i also put little hands on the handles and now i want to make some more cave painting mugs that are just the hands, i could cut out some templates to sponge underglaze around maybe...

my beautiful cracked-the-code bowls and two maybe teacups, post-trimming:

and also trying a new glaze technique: bisqued underglaze and then liquid latex over top! that way you can slather a background on and just peel it off after without painting around the details. im ngl peeling off the latex was soooo satisfying. background is laguna celadon froth.

i've also glazed my citrus juicer, just a plain warm yellow color, looking forward to that :3

glaze: mother's day gift (planter, it's. fine. idk. she'll like it i hope), and also some fixed stuff! didn't bother taking pics, the black eye bowl from feb 6 tuesdaypost is now food safe on the inside because i sanded down the kiln medium bit that got stuck in there and re-glazed it. i also tried to fix the bowl from march 12 tuesdaypost by just lightly sanding the inside and slapping some laguna celadon froth over it...it looks exactly the same now, just with some sort of float-like blue splotches lol. no pictures of it but eh. might give it away, we'll see.

eating: Spicy Clam Pasta With Bacon, Peas and Basil Recipe (NYT): tasty. idk about 'spicy' but definitely yummy.

misc: definitely in a weird spot brain-wise...the anxiety and tummyache link/feedback loop is very real for me now, so i am going back on an extremely low dose of ssri about it, and even though i have been on this med before in much larger amount i am still experiencing aaa about it. i keep going between "going back on this is a good idea" and "or i could just keep taking ~10mg of cbd every other day bc that felt like it was doing something, even if it was just placebo i had a noticeable difference in mood" so like. bluh. idk. i wish i could just Know what the best course of action is instead of having to fuck around and find out. such is life. i am literally taking the world's babiest dose rn (breaking the starter pill in half) so it will be fine. as long as i dont get bad side effects im willing to do a few weeks on it and see what happens.

[kedreeva]

OK OK SO LISTEN OK HEAR ME OUT I AM VERY VERY MUCH WELL ON MY EAY TO ACTUALLY WATCHING THIS BIT H OF A SHOW JUST BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT the broken ass fucking thing in ny brain that controls my serotonin levels goes _Ping_ and i get to experience The Happy but LISTEN here the fucking issue ive got an absolute bitch of an executive dysfunction and main issue: everything i know about thr show and everything that makes my brain go HYPERFIXATION TIME is shit from like,, the last 2 seasons ig mostly and like on a Theoretical fucking level i am well aware that once i start watching ill start enjoying it from the first coupke episodes (whatever deity may or may not be out there ought to just strike me down already at this point my previous self from like 5 years ago would strangle me if that fucker knew ehat our stupid bitch of a brain latched to amd decided to sing praises to in the end) but like The Things that currently have me in the headlock when it comes to the damned show Wont be There yet and even though i logically know it doesnt matter cause ill enjoy the rest too stupid piece of shit brain goes "must watch 2 seasons just to get there? Must watch 2 seasins to get to the Serotonin? Not in this energy crisis" so im Stuck unable to Watch it and Wanting to and reading and looking at SO much fucking fancontent cause goddamn the fucking fandom is talented fuck yall

Also i really appreciate your offer regarding the poll its v sweet of you but unfortunately its got a local target audience since its for a project that will begin at a local stage (and if i get my way slowly grow bigger until it reaches nationwide level but yeah v low hopes for it to get that far) and also since the whole project thing is basically a part of a far larger project thing with lots of smaller teams like us and shit and the reason im part of the whole shebang is that a professor of mine decided to place me on her team without even asking ive gotta make the poll using my Proper™ account which not only means sharing my deadname but also my last name (in short my whole legal name) so yeah big fucking mess thats going to shit anyway but i really appreciate the intention its v sweet (also as you hopefully have figured out i am VERY shit at explaining anything on a manner that makes sense but also im my defence it Is currently 3am where i am so yeah id like to throw a teeny bit of the blame for my inability to communicate on that)

Go to SLEEP.

But before you do I need you to look me in the fucking eyes, and understand this: season 1 is absolutely fantastic. Season 1 is still my favorite season. Not only do you get to meet all the amazing characters as babies, but the plots.... oh, the plots. oh. the storylines in season 1 are all fucking gorgeous, Delightful.

okayokay, listen. listen.

I gotta calm down a second because season 1 is so good, but listen

Season 1 does something that's so incredibly difficult to pull off, and not only did they pull it off, they pulled it off with flying colors. They told three narratives that were all part of one narrative, expertly braiding them together until suddenly they have all come together and everything crescendos and hhhhhh it's bliss. It's fucking bliss.

You have the first plot, and that's a kid's adventure plot. It is the genre of plot where you have a bunch of kids who get into a supernatural shenanigan with a New Friend, completely under the noses of the oblivious adults. This is some ET shit, some Earth to Echo shit. They've got to hide their New Weird Friend from the adults, and they are the ONLY ONES capable of saving her. High Child Adventure Time. They're riding their bikes and yelling over their radios and doing things only children would think to do in an attempt to keep El safe.

Then you have the second plot, with Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve (and arguably tommy and carol). This is a teenage monster horror flick w/ bonus romance. This is "one of the teenagers got killed/taken by a monster and the rest of the teens have to survive/cope with it/hunt the monster down together" genre. Nancy and Steve are busy getting into romance and then crashing and burning it because Nancy knows there's monsters and Steve has no idea, but Jonathan knows there's monsters, and now they're teaming up to fight back right up until Steve crash lands in the middle of the event and picks up the nailbat the first time. Delightful, you have to understand. You have to know. The first time Steve weilds the nailbat, he twirls it. And that twirl is.... fucking everything. That twirl lives rent free in my head for eternity.

You have to understand. This entire scene leading up to this is pure fucking gold. Steve is beat the fuck up after picking a fight with Jonathan (and losing), and he's come over to Jonathan's house to apologize to him, because he realized he's been an asshole. Who DOES that first of all. Second of all, this is AFTER he went and made amends with the theater he and tommy and carol defaced to be mean to nancy, and before he's apologized to nancy herself; he's coming to jonathan's house, alone, at night, to apologize to Jonathan, not because he knows Nancy is there, but because it's the right thing to do.

And then Nancy opens the door and okay, he had guessed they were... a thing, maybe, so that's not totally unexpected, but then he sees her hand. He sees the bandage on her hand, the blood they were using to draw the monster, and he has NO IDEA monsters exist still. He pushes into the house because he thinks Jonathan hurt Nancy, only to find Jonathan is also sporting a bandage, and also there's like. weapons all over the fucking place and christmas lights and Nancy's yelling at him to leave and she pulls a fucking gun on him and tells him he has 5 seconds to gtfo, and as if that wasn't enough, a literal monster claws through the ceiling, drops down and starts trying to eat them all. Nancy's firing a gun at it right up until Jonathan grabs her around the middle and bodily hauls her away from danger, grabs Steve's hand with his other hand, and hauls his partners down the hall to safety.

Down the hall where, you know, he and Nancy put a fucking bear trap on the ground. A bear trap steve does not know about but when Jonathan yells JUMP, do you know. Steve doesn't even stop to ask how high. he just fucking jumps. He's freaking out and the monster seems to disappear and they tell him to leave because it's going to come back and he makes it all the way to his car before realizing... he can't fucking leave them there. so he goes charging right back into danger, and good fucking thing too, because Jonathan's been disarmed and nancy's out of bullets and the demogorgon is still coming after her, and Steve gets there just in time to scoop up Jonathans nailbat (which FYI, was made from Nancy's bat, with Jonathan's nails, and now Steve wields it, as if I NEEDED OT3 feels) and start wailing on the monster until it's beaten back into the trap and they can set it on fire.

LIKE. SEASON 1 JUST HAS THAT???

and then!!! there's also the ADULT plotline, which is of the government conspiracy theory genre, as Joyce refuses to believe her son Will is dead and Hopper doesn't agree until actually he finds out she's RIGHT and the corpse was a FAKE and then HE is in on it and they are desperately trying to figure out what the fuck the LAB was doing with all its secrets.

And Delightful.... I have to say. Watching these three plotlines converge.... I've watched the first season dozens of times by this point. Chef's kiss. They all come together and realize they've all been dealing with facets of the same problem, and they move forward together to save Will and take down the monster and the lab that caused the problem. Oh my GOD.

And that's not even speaking of the characters. You will be adopting every child. Season 1 mike is the best mike. I would kill for season 1 nancy but she's got it covered. Season 1 Steve shows you his capacity for being a bitch, which is WHY the later seasons are so amazing with him being a good guy. You have to be able to remember the moment he took Jonathan's camera from him, jonathan's most prized possession, probably the most expensive and difficult to replace thing Jonathan owns, and smashes it on the pavement. You have to experience him writing (or allowing Tommy to write) "Nancy Wheeler is a SLUT" on the movie theater announcement board on main street. You have to see him shove Jonathan and say "always figured you for a queer" in order to understand how far he's come when he sits on the bathroom floor with Robin and softly says "oh." and still looks at her like she hung the moon. You have to see how much the kids care about each other when they are all in one place or you will never survive the catty nonsense they go through in season 3. SEASON 1 MATTERS SO MUCH.

a;sjga;hjsr;hrh;jkfjhgsdfhjd;l

There's SO MUCH about season 1!!! I'm supposed to be writing stories right now, so I'm gonna leave it here but please know you will not be slogging through 2 seasons to get to 3 and 4. You'll be watching the best season, a good season, and then arrive at when the plot kind of sucks but the characters have a chokehold on your heart so it doesn't matter.

[temporalbystander]

So. I have, once again, come to the conclusion that the reason why we can't have the best in life is because people have copyrighted the good and refuse to let anyone make it better... This is gonna be a gaming ramble btw. A long one.

Anyway let's begin with what started the realisation this time. A few days back, probably prompted by my rebinge of TGSAnime's Yu-Gi-Oh videos, I was suggested to watch a couple videos of someone playing tag force. It was okay, not the greatest, but I liked how the character models of the duelists had an animation for everything from drawing, setting a card and activating a spell. It was cute.

Well about an hour ago I stumbled across a video title that REALLY caught my attention. One that was talking about the Tag Force series, which holy shit there's more than one game, while also calling them dating Sims. As a romantic (read, guy who really crushed on Alexis Rhodes when GX first came out) I decided this video needed a watch through and.... Well damn if it wasn't the most amazing game I've ever heard of. Not only do you get to go through Duel Academy, and all the events of the show, as your own original character. But you get to interact with the characters and bond with them! Then, in the sequel, you get your own little unique story lines with them after the show plot is over! And in the third and final one (final GX one I mean)? All that growth from the first two games carries over into the final season 4 plot along with you, feeling like your own complete character, graduating duel academy.

Obviously this sounded like the most amazing thing I had ever heard of in my life so, of course, I immediately started googling to see if anyone had taken this idea and pushed a little further with it. Made it into more of a fleshed out dating sim with unique interactions. The results? Not only do Yu-Gi-Oh and dating sim only bring you right back to Tag Force. But Yu-Gi-Oh and rpg seems to be just as barren a search. I'm sorry but I find it incredibly hard to believe that Im the only one who's interested in hearing about the characters of an anime interacting with you as you join them on their journeys. If Konami made a series out of it then clearly there's a target audience.

But nope. All I got were card game simulations. As if people no longer care about the characters and the stories. Bull. The card game sucks, it's beyond broken and the obsession with meta is garbage. It's the same thing that ruined competitive Pokemon for me, the top ten in every tournament using almost the exact same team of six (some of whom have even admitted to using hacked perfect IV and evs because they don't give a damn about the game and see if as an easy way to make money. I don't know if that's still the case but the fact a competitive scene could ever let it get to that point? Is disgusting.)

Anyway, my hatred of competition meta ruining fun games not withstanding, let's talk about this realisation. Konami clearly owns the rights to developing bonds as you interact and play alongside your favourite duelists. (I know that's not how copyright works but I swear it makes sense eventually.) Because of this? There is no chance of finding any other fanwork using this same premise but pushing it a bit further. Giving you minigames or other events you can spend with your partner beyond simple dueling or talking... Or giving them eggwhiches (my brain practically overloaded when I heard that was a feature.) Anything to develop the relationship further. Nope. The best we will ever get is Tag Force. Which, I mean, is still amazing and raises the possibility of Konami doing a remaster some day which I am all for. I just heard this existed and it's the best thing ever. I would die for a remaster.

But, as pointed out in my first paragraph, this isn't the first time I've come to the realisation that a system, which would be beyond amazing if manipulated a bit, will forever remain stuck with the original creators who don't care to improve on it. The other examples? Fire Emblem and Persona. Both of these series are God-tier. The social links and affinity systems are amazing! So, of course, you can imagine my severe disappointment when, after my first encounter with both these series, I saw nobody else had done anything like it. No social links that affect the story beyond a few optional scenes (though P5 using all the confidants to boost gameplay mechanics? *Chefs kiss* brilliance.) And no games where affinity rank ups are more than a few lines of dialogue that are almost exactly the same in spite of who the characters interacting are (most noticeable when dealing with the scenes between parents and children. The parent with the same class would get an incredibly detailed scene while the other parent just got the generic other parent scenes with maybe a line or two different. I don't even think there's anything special about siblings.)

Seriously. That is three separate series, with three separate mechanics that have so much potential. And nobody else is doing anything with them. How can we possibly still be getting inspired fangames based on the Gameboy Pokemon era graphics and yet nobody has touched these ideas? It could be so good. But it won't. Because the copyright holders don't care about improving it.

[adorerdraco]

Bugs and Hisses ✧ Draco x Reader

Summary: Halloween with Draco <3 Friends into BOO’s (teehee)

Warnings: mild drinking nothing tooo crazy but not encouraging it !

Words: 5.2K

A/N: this is my first one shot in like a month and i ofc had to do something for halloween even tho im a tad late but its still a halloweekend KIND OF !!!!!!! </3 I HOPE ITS GOOOD

“No, it’s a stupid holiday.”

Draco crossed his arms in a stubborn child-like way, a scowl on his face as he stared forward towards the front of the class where Snape was giving a lecture on the small but vicious Erkling creatures.

“Come on, please,” you pleaded quietly. Your gaze kept flickering between your easily-irked professor and the pouting blond beside you, hoping that in a few short seconds you would get the answer you were hoping for that way you could get back into your notes instead of possibly getting a detention or losing house points.

In all the years you’ve been friends with the Prince of Slytherin, you learned that he loathed the holiday and any festivities that came with it. Every year, you beg him to go out to one of the many parties that are thrown ranging from small gatherings to full-on blowouts or just do something halloween related with you, but he always refuses. His reasoning, as he put it, was that he was simply ‘too mature to be dressing up as a foul creature.’

You knew he mostly spent the holiday either asleep in his dorm or walking around aimlessly with Crabbe and Goyle to target unsuspecting first-years after the big feast but this year, you finally had enough of his anti-halloween agenda. You wanted to spend the evening and hopefully night with him laughing by your side and showing him how fun everything could be, but most of all - you wanted to see him in a costume.

“Please, if you go I will never ask you for anything ever again,” you tried again once Snape had turned his back to the class. 

Draco pursed his lips as though he was genuinely considering it, his eyes still locked on the back of the greasy-haired professor before he turned slightly to you with a deep sigh. “Fine, but don’t expect this to be an annual thing.”

You gave him a bright smile, holding yourself back from jumping around in your seat and completely pushing aside the desire to throw your arms around him in excitement.

“I promise you’ll have fun.”

He hid the small smile that grew on his face from seeing how happy his answer made you, turning his head down towards his parchment filled with notes that all of a sudden seemed interesting as he avoided your gaze. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was the smallest bit of excited at the thought of spending the holiday with you because he knew that wherever you went or whatever you did, he would be perfectly content with you by his side because for the first time in all your years as friends; he realized only a month ago that the weird fluttering feeling in the pit of his stomach when he was around you or the weird overwhelming warmth that spread throughout his entire body like an ocean of water breaking through a dam - was a crush. He hated it at first, noticing and begrudgingly acknowledging it. He thought it was cliche that he somehow fell for one of his closest friends and mostly, he thought that he was going to ruin the friendship entirely. He wanted to wreck it himself, trying to distance himself from you and being extra mean - but he couldn’t.

He adored your company too much and everything that came with you. He adores your laugh, your smile, your hugs when you greet him and how you somehow give him one each time he needs it the most. He adores the study-buddy system you guys have almost every other week before a quiz or an exam. He adores your bad jokes and clumsy accidents even though those qualities annoy him with anyone else. He adores the way you want him to join you in everything fun you and he especially adores the times when he overhears you talking about him as if he’s your favorite person in the world.

Bottom line, he’s all about you.

So when this season of spookiness came, he was expecting your pleading for him to spend the day with you. Only this time, it only took you a couple times before he ultimately agreed to give in to you.

You were ready to explode with thrill at the thought of what the night held in store for you and you didn’t hide it one bit. When the big Hogwarts Hallowe’en feast was over and every one began spilling out from the Great Hall and into the main foyer, you were searching restlessly for a clean mop of silver hair that almost always stuck out in the mass of students. You weren’t sure if you were able to spot him anywhere in under a few seconds because he was unimaginably important to you, or because his hair was so uniquely bright, or maybe it was how boisterous and loud Crabbe and Goyle always were when they were by him, especially if he was with other Slytherins - but you found him, every single time with ease.

After standing on your tippy-toes several times to overlook the stampede of everyone, you finally spotted Draco leaning across a pillar with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face while he stood in a circle of his House friends that included his two goons and his quidditch teammates. You watched him thoughtfully as you approached, taking slow steps towards the group to admire him from afar and also because they were all slightly intimidating. He looked lost in the conversation, laughs escaping from his upturned lips as he listened to whatever was being said, large pale hands running through his hair every so often when the front pieces of his hair would flop down to his forehead. 

He looked ridiculously good and effortlessly at that.

You weren’t sure if you should interrupt, hesitating a few feet away from them to where they couldn’t sense your presence but you were close enough to see and hear them clearly.

“We’ll see you later tonight then, Malfoy?” One of the boys nodded towards Draco.

“I’ll show up for a bit, I suppose,” he shrugs.

You see him look around the circle of boys, eyes landing on you momentarily and then back to his friends before doing a double-take towards you again in surprise. You tried to ignore the butterflies erupting in your stomach when his smile widens slightly into a short-lived toothy grin while he said a quick goodbye to his friends causing them all to disband and him to start approaching you.

“Are you ready for the halloween of a lifetime?” You ask as he neared.

He rolled his eyes, laughing faintly. “Where am I meeting you, darling?”

The nick name he used so rarely for you made your knees feel weak, a warm blush rushing up your neck and inching onto your cheeks that you knew was going to be very apparent on your face in a few seconds.

“I’ll meet you right here in an hour,” you say quickly.

You didn’t give him time to answer before you turned quickly in the direction of your common room and began rushing away before he could see the effect he had on you that was so clearly appearing on your face.

You didn’t know what the night held for you and Draco or where it would lead you. Unknowing to you, you were both hoping something more could come out of the evening between the two of you. But he wasn’t one to express himself in that department of feelings and you weren’t feeling bold enough to say anything about yours. It was a gray area of hoping that fate could somehow intervene and throw the two of you into what you both wanted without either of you really saying anything - but it was impossible. There was no outcome or situation you had in mind that could lead you into that, so you were stuck desperately hoping that one day things might end up differently.

It was beginning to feel ironic how in your world full of real tangible magic, there wasn’t a magical solution to your problem. You were trapped feeling like a muggle who had to figure things out by themselves, no magic included. The thought of giving him a love potion did cross your mind as a joke, but it wasn’t a genuine or fair option but little did you know, you don’t need a potion for him to feel the same way - because he already did.

Walking into your dorm felt like an exuberant disaster of everyone running around and sitting in front of mirrors with their makeup or dressing into their costumes. It was noisy and filled with chatter and you were in shock from how much clutter everyone was able to make in such a short period of time from when the feast ended to now. A simple spell would clean everything up so you and everybody else didn’t really pay it any mind. 

You maneuvered around the mess of your housemates and towards your bed where your costume was kept in the trunk underneath it, plopping down onto the floor to pull it from the underskirt of your House colored bedding.

“Did he finally say yes?” Your closest roomie friend jumped onto your bed, propping herself up on her elbows and resting her chin on her hands as she watched you dig through your bottomless trunk. 

“Surprisingly, yes,” you answered, hiding the smile on your face. 

She drawled out a teasing ‘ooh,’ poking your arm lightly with her index finger as you shied away and leaned deeper into your trunk. She was the only one who you willingly admitted your crush to as she was the only person you really trusted to not blather it off to someone.

“Will I be seeing you two in the Slytherin common room?” She wiggled her eyebrows. “The boys are throwing a party and I luckily got an invite, you know how they are. So picky with who shows up.”

“You mean they’re pretentious?” You laugh. “But I don’t know if we’ll be going to it. I know Draco obviously got invited but I was thinking we could do other things.”

“Like what?” She questions as if she knew it was going to be something dirty. “I know a few secret spots around the castle-”

“No, get your mind out of the gutter,” you smack her arm lightly. “I honestly have no clue what to do. I didn’t think he’d actually agree because he never does.”

She runs her hands over her face, stifling her laughs of disbelief before she sighed loudly. “I still suggest some broom closets, hidden out of sight.”

You sit up, pushing her from where she was lying while she laughed amusingly at your false horrified reaction that you put on to hide the fact from her that what she was suggestion really was what you wanted. 

“I’ll leave you alone so you can get your costume on,” she smiles, jumping up from your bed and tossing one of your pillows at you as she walked away. You let out a huff, tossing it back onto your duvet before setting your costume down on the spot your friend was lying in.

You stared at it hesitantly, all of a sudden feeling nauseous at the thought of going out later with Draco as if it was some sort of date even though you knew it wasn’t. It was just two friends, hanging out, doing some spooky and fun Halloween activities together and nothing more; so why were you feeling so nervous? You weren’t sure if it was your instincts warning you of something major that was approaching or the fear that what you didn’t have planned was going to bite you in the arse when you continuously told Draco he was going to enjoy himself when you didn’t even know if that was going to be true. You didn’t want to disappoint him and mess it up for you in the future when the holiday came again and you didn’t want this to be the first and last time you experienced it with him. 

The pressure was raining down on you like thick, hard pieces of hail with no end in sight.

As you were getting dressed and doing your makeup for your costume as you liked, (i’m trying to be vague for your own imagination teehee) all you could think about was what in the hell you were going to do once you met up with the Prince of Slytherin. Your train of thought was then derailed into wondering what he was going to be dressed up as or if he was going to be dressed up at all considering the way he is. He was the type to make fun of people who dressed up, that you knew when you ran into him last year as you were walking back to your common room with your friend, both of you in costume and victims of his gentle bullying. He obviously went easier on the two of you since you were there, telling you he was just messing around afterwards and saying he liked yours but once you were out of his sight but still in ear-shot, you heard him and his two minions berating a small group of people that unfortunately passed by them. 

You gave yourself one last look in the floor mirror, letting out a long shaky exhale with your hands clasped together before you started towards the way out of your dorm, through the common room, and ultimately towards the foyer outside the Great Hall where Draco was most likely waiting for you. An hour had gone by since you last saw him, an hour of stress and panic that hadn’t slowed down or stopped.

Your shoes dragged against the stone floors, hugging yourself tightly as you walked nearer towards the spot where you were supposed to meet and as you lifted your gaze - you saw him there, staring right at you with a small grin and just like you expected, no costume.

“Nice costume,” he compliments when you reach him. 

“Where’s yours?” You frown.

“I’m not dressing up. That’s embarrassing,” he shakes his head. 

You scoff, crossing your arms. “You’re the only one not dressed up, that’s embarrassing.”

You don’t know why it was irritating to you that he wasn’t in costume, even if you knew he wasn’t. You figured it was because you were trying to overpower your nervousness with different more consuming feelings, and much to your and Draco’s dismay, it worked. 

You weren’t nervous anymore, just irked.

“I’m staying like this, take it or leave it.”

You rolled your eyes, staring him down and hoping that he would change his mind but he wouldn’t. He was ridiculously stubborn.

In the heat of the moment of a fleeting thought, you decided that if he wasn’t going to be in costume, you would put him in one or at least a hint of one. You pulled your wand out, pointing it onto his striking white hair and with one easy spell, his hair was now a flaming vibrant red.

“Y/N!” He growled, running towards the closest thing that would show off his reflection where he let out a string of frantic curse words. “I look like a bloody Weasley.”

Your laughter caught him off guard, the sound ringing in his ears like music that spread warmth throughout him. You were clutching at your stomach with one hand and pointing at him with the other, giggling wildly at the sight of him with hair that did not suit him at all. He smiled to himself, your glee rubbing off on him abruptly that ate away quickly at his anger.

“You should’ve given me some ratty old hand-me-down robes and I’d look just like Ron,” he notes.

“That’s rude, Draco,” you say still laughing. He smirks, leaving the shiny statue of a knight in armor where he was checking his reflection and back over to you where you were still stuck in between doubling over in laughter and watching him. 

“I’m glad this is funny to you,” he muses. He begins digging into the pocket of his dress pants, taking your vulnerability as a chance for him to tap his wand to the top of your head and before you could react, your whole hair had turned a deep green.

Your laughter immediately ended as you ran towards the suit of armor, your grimacing reflection staring back at you with deep Slytherin green hair and a distorted Draco behind you doubling over just like you were moments ago.

“This looks,” you couldn’t even finish your sentence, the scowl on your face saying enough for you as you turned bitterly towards Draco. 

“Great?” He suggested, his guffawing subsiding into airy chuckles as you stood in front of him. Yours picked up again as you stared up at him, his striking bright red hair looking terribly unfamiliar on him. He was looking down at you, his heart jumping at the sight of you holding back your laughter. “You really do look dashing by the way.”

You swallowed thickly, thankful for the darkness that had settled around the castle and easily hid the scarlet brush appearing on your face. “But my hair is green.”

“Green is my favorite color.”

You opened your mouth to speak, your stomach and heart dropping simultaneously as your mind went completely blank. You pretended to not notice how he took a step closer to you to where he was almost fully against you and he pretended not to notice the way your lips were parted and how your chest was rising and falling a little too heavily as if you were nervous. It was game over for you when his gaze flickered down towards your lips and then back to your eyes, his head leaning down just the slightest like if he were waiting for you to meet him halfway. You were about to get closer to him, about to let your eyes close and give in to what you believed was him wanting to kiss you - but the world had other plans.

“Malfoy! There you are!” Someone boomed, clambering up the steps from the direction of the dungeons. You both jumped away from each other, your attention diverted to the Slytherin boy that interrupted the moment. “Malfoy come on, the party! And you can bring her too.”

You frowned when the boy came up to the two of you, clearly tipsy, dressed as a stereotypical vampire, and over-excited with the fact that Draco was out and willing to participate in Halloween festivities. It seemed like it bothered the now red-head when he looked to you and then back to the Slytherin boy with an apprehensive expression.

The boy, sensing the pause in the air, grabbed onto both you and Draco’s arms and started dragging the two of you towards the Slytherin common room where although the stone walls were thick, the sound of people celebrating inside were easily slipping past the stone slabs. He spoke the password out quickly and as soon as the entrance was open, you were both shoved inside into what looked like the largest party you had ever witnessed in all your years at Hogwarts. It was packed and filled with what looked like half of the school, or at least a huge majority of fifth-years and up. It was loud with music booming from a brand new wizarding-world radio in the middle of the room currently playing a song from the Weird Sisters. It smelled like a mixture of everyone’s perfumes and colognes and like firewhisky. The boy that pushed you two inside quickly passed you two cups of the very potent firewhisky before downing the third one he had in his hand and disappeared into the crowd while screaming for you to enjoy yourselves.

You both stood awkwardly away from the big and rowdy crowd, your drink clenched tightly in your hand against your chest and Draco swishing his around while it was still in the cup.

He wanted to up and run, thinking that someone was going to make a comment about his hair or about him being there, but no one seemed to pay attention to him or that he was there and in a way, he felt relieved by it and less tense by the second. 

“How in the bloody hell did we end up here?” You yelled over the music, putting a hand over his arm that was holding his drink up. You didn’t mean to, but you were glad you did because he glanced down at the contact with a small smile before looking back up to you.

“We got dragged here, remember!” He yelled back. 

“What?” 

“We got dragged here!”

“I can’t hear you!”

He rolled his eyes, bending down towards your ear to repeat himself one last time before you finally heard him over the mayhem around you.

“This is crazy!” You looked around the room, the sight of all the bodies and recklessness being too much as they were all more than likely drunk and oblivious to how stuffy and suffocating the room was becoming.

You looked down at the golden brown liquid sloshing around in your cup, wondering whether or not you should take it, but with the nervousness you felt coming back, it didn’t take you much longer to decide to down your cup and allow the liquid courage to seep into your veins. Draco watched you with amusement, chuckling to himself when you scrunched up your face in disgust from the burn he knew it caused as it went down your throat. He shook his head, deciding to drink his too and it was only minutes that passed before the drink was quickly becoming apparent in your systems. There was something about Firewhisky that always made its mark promptly and it really was courage in a bottle that you were glad was available to you in that moment because you were sure that in just a few minutes you were close to fainting.

You were beginning to sway faintly to the music, the rhythm sounding more loud but distant and more invigorating. You didn’t care anymore if anyone was watching or that Draco was observing you curiously just as he was beginning to lose all sense of holding himself back. He was inching closer to you, his head moving slightly to beat of the song and pure joy etched onto his features when your eyes met his.

“I keep forgetting I turned your hair red!” You yelled up to him, laughing loudly when he ran his hand through it. In your moment of confidence, you reached up and lightly ran your fingers over one of the front pieces hanging over his forehead. He didn’t stop you, his heart hammering against his chest from the drink and his overwhelming crush that was clouding all his senses. “Your hair is so soft!” 

He wanted to pin you up against the wall right then and there. You were peering up at him, just as you were before you were dragged inside by one of his Housemates and as soon as he was about to kiss you. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” He knew to bend down this time for you to hear him to which you responded with a fervent nod. You took his hand in yours, pulling him towards the exit of the common room and he let you lead him into the coldness of the dungeons that bit at his cheeks. It was a stark difference from the warmth inside, the crisp October air being more chilled than what either of you were expecting. It felt nice against your flushed skin and easier to breathe, especially once after the common room closed again and you could hear was muffled talking and music.

Neither of you were drunk and were still aware of pretty much everything, mostly the feelings stirring inside you both that was begging either of you to make a move towards the other. You were just a tad tipsy, and so was he, but it was enough for you to still enjoy the night without the initial awkwardness that oddly settled in between you. It was weird, considering how open and talkative you usually were with each other but there was something about the evening that made it feel like if you didn’t know each other.

“What now?” He asked you with a raised brow, his hand slipping into his pocket.

You smiled, an idea coming to your head that you knew he would love and you didn’t mind doing in the name of Halloween. “Do you want to go mess with people?”

He stared at you with widened eyes, “bloody hell, I love you.”

There was nothing that could have prepared you for his response, your own eyes widening in shock as you stared at him. He felt his face get hot in embarrassment, Merlin, he felt so stupid. He was mentally smacking himself in the head, desperately wishing he could bury himself seven feet under the Earth and staying there until the end of time.

He was about to play off what he said in a joking way, but for the second time that night he was interrupted by a couple that stumbled out of the common room drunkenly snogging each other’s faces off and wholly oblivious to you and Draco standing there in lingering panic. You jumped back into his arms when the couple staggered past you, almost knocking you over in the process of their makeout session and it annoyed you beyond belief. It annoyed you that they were in your way, annoyed that they interrupted you, annoyed that it wasn’t you in their position with the one you wanted. 

You dug your wand out of your pocket, flicking it their way as they rolled onto the wall, still in each other’s hold until the hex that flew from your wand hit the boy causing him to stagger back from the girl and holding his nose in pain. You heard Draco laugh from behind you when bats began to fly out from the boy’s nostrils while the girl screamed and ran away from one of the bats that swept down onto her head. The bats flew out of the dungeon and up the stairs with the boy struggling loudly the whole way up until his panicked screams were no longer heard.

“That was a perfect bat-bogey,” he looks at you proudly. “I feel bad for that poor bloke’s nose.”

“Thank you, thank you,” you bowed jokingly. 

When the sound of the door opened again, you both ran to hide behind a long drape against the wall that didn’t hide your shoes very well and pressed up against your bodies that’s shapes were no doubt visible from the opposite side.

You heard footsteps trail haphazardly down the corridor, their back seemingly facing you and as you both peeked your heads out from behind the drape, Draco nodded towards the boy and pointed his wand towards him. 

“Slugulus Eructo,” you heard him whisper and a stream of green light from his wand hit the back of the boy’s head and as he turned around in surprise while doubling over in pain, his hand clamped tightly over his mouth as slugs began to slip past the spaces between his fingers. When he stood up to run away, you noticed it was the same boy from earlier that stopped you two from the almost kiss and dragged you to the party. You let out a string of giggles as he ran away just like your last victims.

“This is so mean,” you chortle, leaning into him from behind the drape in an attempt to get closer to him. You were feeling bolder when he beamed down at you, feeling happy knowing that although the night was still young, he was having fun. “Thank you for coming with me tonight, I know you don’t like Halloween.” You say quietly.

“You finally convinced me, it’s not that bad,” he grins.

“Why’d you hate it in the first place?”

The question seemed to strike a nerve but the Firewhisky still flowing freely in his veins tore away easily at his defenses so instead of avoiding your question entirely like he usually would, he frowned and let his guard down.

“I don’t hate it,” he answers apprehensively. “My father never let me celebrate it. He never let me dress up. He told me respectable wizards don’t partake in holidays like these.”

His pout made your gut twist in sympathy, your hand instinctively going into his as you squeezed it reassuringly. “It’s never too late to start celebrating. Besides, I don’t see him here stopping you.”

He smiled for what felt like the hundredth time that night, his stained-red hair falling over his eyes as he looked down to his shoes.

“You have a point, darling.”

The door of the common room opened again and what you suspected to be another snogging couple to stumble out from the sound of heavy breathing and multiple shoes scuffling about was something completely different.

“Glad Malfoy stayed with someone else today.” It was Crabbe.

“Yeah, he never lets us go to these parties,” Goyle responds. “Go ahead and thank Y/L/N for freeing us, he fancies her like a fool.”

“Reckon we should go look for them?”

You figured Goyle nodded to him like the blathering idiot he was because in a few short seconds they were running away up the same steps everyone else had. 

You peered up slowly at Draco who was already gaping at you like a deer in headlights. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. The gears in your brain were spinning wildly with happiness, the gossip hopefully being proven true when he didn’t try to deny it. You didn’t realize how close his face was to yours, cheeks tinged with pink from both the firewhisky and sudden shyness and his warm cinnamon breath fanning your face as he looked down at you.

“I can explain,” he finally said.

He didn’t need to; you placed your hands gently on his cheeks, pulling him impossibly closer to you and pressing your lips against his, catching him completely by surprise. His eyes were wide at first, his body rigid and his lips unmoving, but once it finally clicked that this was real and no longer a fantasy that played like a broken record in his head, his lips moved fervently against yours with the rest of his body following. His hands gripped your hips tightly, his fingers squeezing at the hem of your bottoms and his body pushing even further into yours.

Your bottom lip caught lightly in between his teeth as you reluctantly pulled away from him, the both of you breathing raggedly as you searched each other’s eyes.

“I feel the same,” you said softly. “Happy Halloween.”

He smashes his lips hungrily against yours again, his ego growing with each gasp of a delight that escapes your mouth as your hands roamed and tangled themselves into his magically colored strands.

“Very...happy...halloween,” he mutters against your lips in between kisses, a dazy smile adorning your face while he tightened his arms around you.

You just couldn’t wait until next year.

[biomic]

feels a bit silly to make an Official Announcement™ on my personal blog for posting bullshit but, uh, an announcement! i've decided im not going to continue liveblogging any of the currently airing big three toku shows (sentai/rider/ultra). i'll stick to finishing out my zenkai liveblog since we're so close to the end anyway, but for donbrothers, the rest of revice, and whatever the next ultra is, i'll just be watching them on my own

i WILL still post about them, for sure, but the play-by-play recaps i've stuck to for so long have been feeling more like an obligation than a hobby for a good while now. yall have seen how much i've fallen behind on basically every show, to the point where i haven't finished a season of ultra since r/b, and a lot of that just comes down to looking at an episode, wanting to watch it, but not being in the particular mood to liveblog. so i put it off, and then one week turns into six, suddenly im majorly behind on everything, and catching up while liveblogging it all starts to feel daunting and i fall back even further

it's been an issue for a long time but i stuck with it bc liveblogging stuff felt like my main contribution to our little side of toku dumblr. but i just don't have fun with it anymore, not with the currently airing stuff. i feel like im missing a deadline and finding out all the spoilers before i get to them, and by the time i do get around to them i don't feel like im saying anything new or unique (outside of being the rare reiwa liker i guess). i'd like to just enjoy them on their own terms again rather than as tumblr content fodder. like i said, if i've got something to post i'll post it, probably put it under tags like "revice posting" or "donbrothers posting", just something less rigid and more casual

i will, however, still be liveblogging toku! just the older stuff, where there isn't that itch in the back of my mind that im not watching fast enough. turboranger finished airing over 30 years ago, so im not too worried about falling behind on it, ya know? im hoping without having to liveblog the current stuff, i'll have more time to hit up my backlog and get back to stuff like all the sentai and metal heroes and rescue forces i haven't seen. i think that's the stuff i like liveblogging most bc i get to spread some love to lesser talked about shows and might get someone interested in them, as opposed to liveblogging zenkaiger which everyone and their mom is already watching and talking about

so you know. not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but just felt like i should make a post about it since i've been getting asks about when i'll get back to liveblogging regularly. just don't wanna feel burnt out on something as non-serious as tumblr blogging :s

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 01

(Masterpost) (Next Episode)

Warning: This is **FULL **of spoilers, not just for this episode but for the entire series. If you haven’t finished all 50 episodes, please don’t read it! 

Intro: 2020 continues to be much much too much while also being incredibly boring, and Im done with Shen Wei’s Lewks, so now I’m doing a deep meta dive into the Untamed. Let’s roll! 

Prologue: The Battle of Mordor

The Demise of our Protagonist

Unlike some other shows I won’t name, The Untamed kills its suicidal queer protagonist immediately, rather than waiting four seasons, so we know what we're in for. 

This is Wei Wuxian, who is about to yeet himself off of a cliff. He is having a bad day. 

Note: if mouth blood bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

Reasons for mouth blood: a sampler

Anyway...cliff time

Note: if (fictional) suicide bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

To be fair there are hardly any suicides in The Untamed. No more than ...five? As long as you don’t count the entire population of the Wen Corporate Headquarters in Yiling or those wall bandits in Qinghe or Madame Yu or all those Wens who supposedly threw themselves into the mud puddle or that Mo guy who broke his own neck. Plus watching Wei Wuxian’s cliff drop several more times from multiple angles. So, you know. Hardly Any Suicides. 

This is Lan Wangji, who is about to have his first losing encounter with physics. He is having a bad day.

In fact, if it is possible to have a worse day than the guy who is currently falling to his death, Lan Wangji is having that.

This is Jiang Cheng, who is feeling extra stabby from this camera angle. He is having a bad day.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me? 

(Much, much more after the cut!)

The Amulet Situation

This is the Stygian Tiger Amulet. Yes, by all means, (Netflix) subtitles, let's use a 12-dollar word, “Stygian,” that every English speaker who is not a Shelley/Byron shipper will have to look up. Let’s not use a normal word like "deathly" or "corrupt" or you know... "Yin" which is clearly what they are saying on screen.

Why does this tiger amulet look like a chameleon crossed with a remora? Wei Wuxian can paint photorealistic bunnies on a flimsy lantern while sitting in a field having distracting teenage lust, but two months of meditating with super magic gets him a tiger that looks like a chameleon. And don’t try telling me this is a traditional-Chinese-art vibe because this jade tiger from frickin 1000 BCE is way more tigerish than Wei Wuxian’s attempt. 

Try harder next time, Wei Wuxian.

This is thousands of cultivators having a battle.  What do you mean, it looks like about 40-60 dudes?

 Any time someone in The Untamed refers to a number of people, it is like when you do your high school play and look off into the wings at nothing and say “Hark, A Ship Approaches!” and everyone’s parents nod indulgently.

Jin Clan Mountain Hunt:

*viewership nods indulgently*

This is Captain Blowhard, over on the right, courtesy name Clan Leader Yao. His job is to talk smack about Wei Wuxian and stick up for whoever is the biggest asshole in any given scene.  

He represents mainstream cultivation-world values so here he is shanking one of his allies to take the deadly amulet of evilness.

The Present Day

Spilling All That Yiling Laozu Tea

Down at the Exposition Tea Shop, the Lan juniors are chilling and listening to Tea Dude tell the story of Yiling Laozu. 

How did they get permission to take this field trip? “Principal Qiran, we want to go downtown to hang out with the local rabble and learn about your favorite person, Wei Wuxian.”

Waiting in the wings is the man with a fan and a plan, Nie Huaisan(g), who is paying tall loot to get these stories told.  

...Why? Is Mo Xuanyu having tea here and listening? Or is Wei Wuxian being summoned back by hearing all this smack being talked about him? *Shrug.*

Gank Your Soul

Drunk flag guy out here talking about spirits. Wikipedia tells me that In one school of Daoist thought, a human being has a collection of physical souls (魄 pò) and ethereal souls (魂 hún). Drunk flag guy is saying “hún ” at the moment. 

The many types of souls don’t translate well into English, where spiritual vocabulary has always been shackled connected to Christian beliefs, and is too limited for this context. So when the subtitles have conversations like “Is it a soul eater? No, no, it’s a spirit taker!” just roll with it. (Speaking of hún, if you have any interest in linguistics, do yourself a favor and go read all the wonderful meta @hunxi-guilai​)

The spirit-carrying flag looks a lot like Raava and Vaatu from Korra which...probably doesn’t mean anything.

The Demise of our Trill Host

Suicide #2 happens about 8 minutes in. 

Mo Xuanyu is that hippie roommate with the annoying wind chimes and bead curtains and blood spatter.

He is super mad at his terrible family and also at Jin Guangyao, who sent him home to his terrible family. I wonder if Fan Man Nie Huaisang influenced Jiggy’s decision-making there. Mo Xuanyu’s choice to die for revenge might be excessive, given how easy it actually is to murder the Mo family.

Being Alive Is Fine I Guess As Long As I Get To Fuck WIth People

Wei Wuxian starts his new life by splashing a little water on his face, which instantly makes his hair go from this

to this. 

He looks at his reflection and wishes he was dead, which--mood--but he gets over it as soon as he finds someone whose day he can fuck up.

And he is ALL in on being crazy. 

OP wishes she had the Wei Wuxian kind of crazy instead of the kind she actually has. 

Meanwhile, this is the sane Mo cousin:

This asshole is wearing one of the best fabrics in the whole show, incidentally. Asshole.

My favorite bit of Wei-Mo craziness is when Wei Wuxian does a meaningless 360 all the way around this dude before ducking in the opposite direction, which is like when I make 4 right turns around a whole block to avoid making a single left across traffic.

Perhaps I Do Miss One Thing In This Life

Wei Wuxian has pining thoughts about Lan Wangji, so he plays WangXian on a fucking blade of grass well enough for Sizhui to recognize it from his dad's guqin jams. 

Wei Wuxian is a better flautist than even Inspector Gadget BeatBoxing Flute Guy (Google it).

Our Many Many Spirit Lure Flags have Lured A Spirit, Oh Shit

Lan Clan has a Plan and Wei Wuxian is a Fan

Having one single lure flag stuck in Wen Ning’s torso caused spirits to basically eat him alive, so to catch one evil spirit, 6 disciples holding flags on the roof plus 8 more flags on the ground seems like a good amount. Wei Wuxian is like “yep, a single one of these will lure every spirit for five miles, carry on, younglings.”

Baxia Does the Heavy Lifting

Wei Wuxian is supposed to kill four people because of this curse situation, and in the course of the series they all die, and he kills exactly zero of them. The curse on Wei Wuxian’s arm should be called the scorekeeper curse. 

Baxia’s spirit pinballs around the Mo clan, rapidly killing three people on Mo Xuanyu’s list plus a couple extras for good measure.  Who's a good blade? Baxia is! Yess you are! Yes you are!

This here is the exact point in the show where your friend, who has listened to you squee about The Untamed for three months and finally agreed to watch it with you, will say “what the fuck am I watching?” and try to get up off the couch. Tackle them! 

This also the point where we all realize that the prosthetic and practical effects in this show were probably not made by the people who made the clothing, because the quality is...variable. The white eyeballs are pretty good, but the glove of death is ridiculous.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me?

While Baxia goes to town on the Mo clan, the Lan Clan babies...watch? And tie up the various victims after they are already goners. 

Narrator: Her son is dead.

Meanwhile, 

Wei Wuxian, you motherfucker. You’ve been alive for like 7 hours and you’re already building a new zombie army. No wonder you don’t want them to call Lan Wangji.

Hanguang-Jun Cut It Up One Time

Lan Wangji shows up and very slowly kicks zombie ass with his guqin. If you are used to Hong Kong action speeds, you will find The Untamed very peaceful.

 All of the baby Lans fan squee up at Lan Wangji like he's the cultivation world's David Bowie and...they're not wrong. Jesus Fuck, he’s charismatic.

Lan Wangji is soft boi when he discovers this murderous sword full of dead-bastard energy, because it reminds him of his true love.

Like the talk about souls, the conversations about the nature of the murderous entity really don’t survive translation into English.

Servant: it’s a ghost! 

WWX: it’s not a ghost, it’s a spirit

Babies: It’s a spirit

LWJ: it’s not a spirit, it’s a [...] ghost

Our Protagonist gets the FOH

Wei Wuxian is soft boi when he sees Lan Wangji, but not so soft that he considers actually, like, sticking around. 

Wei Wuxian is also clueless boi, noting Lan Wangji’s white clothing and thinking, as in the past, that he looks like he’s dressed in mourning. The term he uses is 戴孝, which google tells me means the type of outfit worn by Jiang Yanli after Wen Ning rips her husband’s heart out someone who is in mourning. 

Actually, Wei Wuxian, you dumbass, he is in actual mourning, actually, for you. Dumbass. He probably packed away all of his blue outer robes 16 years ago and only takes them out occasionally to reminisce about that nice date you had on your mountain of corpses. 

On his way out the door Wei Wuxian manages to find a red ribbon for his beautiful hair, so things are looking up. 

Where to go next...hey I know, how about that one haunted mountain with the killer statue, you know, the one that all my executed friends and child came from? That’ll be fun and a great way to put the past behind me!

Episode 02 Restless Rewatch is here!

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Scattered AU Masterpost Part 2 [COMPLETE]

Due to post length limit (which is apparently a thing), this AU has been split into two parts. Find Part 1 here!

Join the Discord server here!

Contributions:

- Mumbo has a pet ravager miscellaneous ideas: the ravager is actually a bit small as far as ravagers go. Once Mumbo leaves to go to the hermits, he doesnt take the ravager with him, for fear the environment wouldn't be right for it. However, the ravager follows him and Iskall, startling both when it comes running up to Mumbo. The ravager does not like any of the hermits, however it doesn't attack them because it can understand that Mumbo cares about them. - anonymous

- related to scattered au and "what if this happened to old hermits too" -- python's stuck in a death loop in a bastion (his spawn is right next to a piglin brute). he has no clue what's going on but by god, does he blame zloy - Anonymous

- Consider: Etho's mask protecting him from the flowers that gave Hypno so much trouble. - @/rayveewrites

- (Scattered AU) After Etho dies accidentally at the spawn haven, his spawn takes him to Xisuma. Xisuma is clinging to life when he gets there, and Etho only has time to grab his admin's arms and promise he'll be found before Xisuma passes away. Etho and Xisuma get a few hours together to work on getting Xisuma to the surface before Etho starves to death, and he's transported somewhere else. After that Etho makes it his mission to cycle through spawns as quickly as possible to help Xisuma and anyone else who is trapped in their spawn graveyard, no matter how much his legs start to fail him from the damage starting to linger from building into the sky and leaping off to respawn over and over. - @/petrichormeraki

- Some honorable mentions from my written summary for mumbo in the au: the illigers being terrified as he keeps coming back no matter how many times they kill him; he gets adopted by evoker; he fails at evoker magic, like so bad he cant even dye a sheep; the evoker being so done with mumbo that they beg the vex to give him magic; mumbo summoning scar when the vex get annoyed at how often he summons them, mumbo eventually summoning bdubs after scar's contract to mumbo runs out.... and so much more - @/therainofsweetmelody

- Moobloom!Hypno attracts bees - @/itsabork

- Not too long into his messenger journey, etho remembers what had happened to impulse by the time he, zed and tango had found him, which inspires him to try and die in a different way each time he sets off to find another hermit, partly to avoid becoming resiliant to certain death methods and partly for the challenge - Anonymous

- Because Doc hasn't died his death messages haven't been showing up in the chat. The other hermits don't know if he's even in the same world as them. - Anonymous

- (Scattered AU) More on the Mumbo accidentally summoning Scar thing; the summoning has "opened" the chat for them, but only between Mumbo and Scar. All evokers can call on their Vex, after all, so why not an evoker in more-or-less training? - @/petrichormeraki

- (alternate headcanon) There's so much discussion in the server, I wouldn't know where to start restating. However, I wanna mention one thing: scar spawning in xisuma's first spawn, deep in a geode down under ground. Being trapped in an endless death loop due to the warden lurking just outside the geode, forcing scar into the same loop xisuma had been trapped in so long ago. Not only does he have to deal with the separation from bdubs once they got out of the end, now he seemingly cant escape the warden's clutches.... - @/therainofsweetmelody

- Admins log who knows how long: I've finally managed to get my helmet some repairs with this I could get some plugins to start working hopefully. Considering the situation going on, I better not have derped to hard on this, not now. - Anonymous (singleplayer sleep now works)

- (Scattered AU) Because the code is glitchy for mob hermita, Jevin would spilt when injured too much. So while X and Jevin are trying to get to the surface, they encounter a dungeon or a mineshaft and Jevin gets fatally injured. X starts freaking out cause he doesent want to be alone again and he cant bear to watch Jevin die infront of him and risk getting lost and seperated and Jevin just splits, theres two Jevins now and X doesent know what to think of it.While there are two Jevins, their consienceness is split between the two and his motor skills are more sloppy and X notices and realises that Jevin loses more of himself the more he splits. So while he has a lower chance of losing Jevin to an unfortunate accident, Jevin slowly reverts to a slime the more be splits and the more be spends time as multiple entities. X worries that if Jevin splits for too long or too much, he might lose Jevin - @/itsabork

- The only portal to get out of Hels and into the overworld is an incredibly complex vault boarder line weapon built by Hels Doc and Hels Mumbo and the location of the portal is known only to a few and it changes every season. Now cue Helsknight and Wels sneaking all around Hels while trying to look for this basically impossible to find and get into way home. - anonymous

- It takes a while, but eventually those outside of hermitcraft start wondering why all the hermits collectively disappeared. Sure, they started a new world, and sure they’re usually more secluded, but it’s been months. Skizz wonders why he hasn’t heard from Impulse in a while. All the legates wonder where Python went. Everyone’s confused when none of the hermits turn up to the next MCC. Things get weirder when none of them sign up for the one after. -🟣

- Ok to add on to the daisy ravenger post, on his way to 0,0 Mumbo found spawn spawn, slo when he arrived everyone had him at sword point, expecting angry illiger noises they were surprised when they herd "GUYS IT'S ME!!" - Anonymous

(Note: Hermits at the haven currently include Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, and Iskall, in order of arrival. XB is en route, and Etho was there briefly before dying and respawning elsewhere.)

- Pix and Zloy would be the first to notice the hermits' absence. After all, they do a weekly show about them. Maybe they just decided to have a few weeks of downtime before moving to the next Season? Though surely it wouldn't take this long... - @/rayveewrites

- because im a legacy sucker, the legates would likely be the first to notice the hermits' disappearance. between zloy being on the server, skizz being part of zits and very close to impulse, pearl knowing a few hermits, plus python literally disappearing. what they'd do about it? no idea.to keep it more on the topic of hermits though, don't think about how devastated skizz would be to find out what impulse went through. don't think about it :) - anonymous

- Hello I have produced thoughts! I don’t have room for both so I’m sending 2 asks -when Iskall arrives at the mansion all of the illagers are wary; if one of mumbo’s friends are here then he must be leaving soon. Despite their initial feelings they’ve come to care about this idiot that wandered into their house, and they’re fully aware he has no survival instincts whatsoever, so when he does end up leaving they send a ravager to keep him (and his friends, they suppose) safe -@/haworthiaace

- so like... hear me out ok what if the reason the whole world is corrupting and weird and why a lot of people are like slowly turning into mobs is because maybe this is the way the game and the mobs are turning on the hermits for like making really inhumane farms or something like that and the mobs somehow messed with the code of the world to get revenge - anonymous

- Scattered AU!! Biffa spawned very concerned and on a beach. Where is he? How did he get here? Is he alone? Well one of his questions was answered quickly as he heard a constant buzzing sound come from his communicator, upon opening it he saw probably millions of death messages. He quickly realised this was probably supposed to be a new season of hermitcraft, but he didn't really have time to think about it, night was quickly approaching and he could already see drowned swimming towards him. - Anonymous

- How many times did X die to that Warden? Maybe he develops something to counteract the Warden’s sensors, or that his heartbeat slowed down to the point that his suit can barely pick it up (therefor making it harder for the Warden to track Xisuma down). -🦊

- Etho tried his best to fight the system and not get any new features from all his deaths. But, the game has its ways. Slowly, after every death he has, the less alive he comes back. (Undead!Etho, could be ghost, zombie variant, or skeleton variant) -@/harley-the-pancake

- Other hybrid characteristics Hypno gets of the moonbloom: His ears turn into golden cows ones, the horns grow in, he gets a tail, and little flowers grow though his hair and wrap around his horns. He can also grow flowers around him as long as he has dirt, but thankfully they dont do anything beyond smelling a lot stronger and smelling very nice (and maybe a bit of evoking certain reactions, but nothing beyond what normal flowers can do, ie lavender being calming, just a bit more intense) - anonymous

- Beetlejhost ended up in the world along with the hermits, spawning as if summoned: in the middle of a circle of beehives. His spawn is in the birch forest near the s8 spawn, and his presence spooks anyone who stumbles across him. He blends in concerningly well with the black and white of the forest. Beef feels like hes being watched whenever he goes in the birch forest to get supplies, but joe never notices a thing. He teases the hybrids about their changes, leading him to get swiftly decked- - @/therainofsweetmelody

- beetlejhost spawns in a circle of beehives in the birch forest near spawn. he thinks he's invis, in reality it's just his stripes making him blend into the birch trees. he can't leave the circle of bees, ah how wonderful it is to bee bee-tlejhost - @/justme123abz

- Beetlejhost doesn't mean to be mean, really, he just has really, really bad timing. This includes seeing a pollen-stained Hypno and, with his gravelly voice, immediately say "Woah! Someone had some fun in the sun! Tell me, did you spend a week rolling in dandilions or do you just like the color yellow?" This does not go over well - Anonymous

- Speaking of hybrids, Xisuma spawned in a Wardens den right? Well unlike the other hybrids, Xisuma has been changing too but its been slow. Every time he spawned back in that place, on the warped ground, he's changed. He doenst notice the dark starts to seem less dark, until noises get louder, until he's more sentive to it then he noticed, he gets stronger and breaking though the stone with his bare hands seems a bit easier, its not until he finds Jevin and he points out the glowing horns (1)peaking from his temples when his hair is pulled back hastily that he realizes that something has gone horribly wrong with him. Thankfully Jevin helps ground him before he can freak out, so he shelves it for later, once they're out of this cave. The warden that once was down by his spawn is no longer there btw, disappeared. The horns grow slowly, and soon glowing vein like markings appear as well. (2) - Anonymous

- Okay, Xisuma, we established he spawned in the deep dark, right? As time goes on he adapts to the dark. The skulk sensors grow on him. However as time goes on, they not only grow on him, but become a part of him. His footsteps quiet to near silence, and he can feel sounds. He certainly isn't how he was when he entered, at first glance he might even be mistaken for a warden. - Anonymous

- Tango is the only hermit other than Mumbo Daisy kind of likes. Tango thinks Daisy is absolutely adorable, and Daisy does like the positive attention(and the treats). - Anonymous

- When tango meets mumbo’s pet ravager he loses his mind, he tried so hard to get the decked out ravagers to like him and then mumbo just waltzes in riding on one of the things! He ends up hanging around her a lot and eventually forms some sort of relationship, although not as close as he would like (he also gets a little more sympathetic once he sees the effects the evokers had on mumbo, he figures the guy earned a pet ravager) - @/haworthiaace

(Hermits now at the spawn haven, in order of arrival: Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, Iskall, Tango, Impulse, Zedaph. XB is en route, Wels and Hels are traveling through Hels to get there, Ren, Doc, and Grian are attempting to get there but their success has been limited so far)

- Scattered!AU: Idea that Ex is the ONLY one that knows what is going on and how to fix it perhaps (maybe 'cause of having been banished to the void for so long)? That's why he's trying to find X. - Anonymous

- Admins log: day 1006: Me and Jevin finally see sunlight, and I've managed to get the clock function on my helmet working, finally. As we're on our way to the surface, I only hope that I can find someone or something to help guide us to where we need to go, but unfortunately I've lost all signal to chat, and I think we're next to a woodland mansion. I think I've derped up this time.

- Dear Xisuma, if you see this message then the log is working, also fixed the clock in your helmet it's been 50 days, not 1005. I was about to leave with Iskall when I noticed you and Jevin outside with a few, erm, "buddies" of mine you two where passed out and I managed to stop them from killing you with Daisy, my pet ravenger. I'll explain everything later and spawns in the village are working, finally. I recommend not moving much and work on the data packs for a bit before you do anything elseExplanation log to Xisuma part 2: Sorry if the last one got cut off abruptly, apparently there's a limit to these messages. Any way please take care of yourself. Sincerely, your pal Mumbo Jumbo

- Admins log, day 51: I first want to say thank you Mumbo for bringing me up to speed and explaining why and how me and Jevin are here, next I want to say that these logs may slow down for a bit, I'll be working on some maintenance for some packs. I still don't know why this is happening, I now hope this is a wicked nightmare and not our reality. Hang on I see something over there it looks like, wait let me ju- Voice logs are off for the moment.

- all one anon

- mooblooms spread the flowers that enraptured hypno. now that hypno is a moobloom hybrid, he can make people "hypnotizd"! he doesnt like to, but if the spawn ever gets attacked, the hermits are winning easily. - anonymous

- I like to think that at some point when there's a significant number of healthy hermits at 0,0 they start group searches to find the rest of hermits - anonymous

- After awhile, if they can't change the spawn of everyone, they begin securing all the spawn points to everyone, so if their bed is ever destroyed in the future, they won't end up in a death loop again. They secure the death loop spawn points first. - @/ciaravixen

- For undead Etho: I know that ghasts aren't technically undead mobs, but they're basically ghosts and that's what I feel etho is becoming?He's leaving his mortality behind bit by bit as he ceases to care about death and starts to use it as a tool instead.One day he'll respawn without a body at all - @/draconic-dreams

- This is just a thought. Sand cant be good for Iskall's mechanical parts, and its not like he has anything to fix it. Does he have to wait to find doc to be able to have hope of fixing himself? - anonymous

- Jellie had spawned in the village that cub and xb had come across, so when xb heads to 0,0 he takes her with him (she'd be safer in the overworld than in the end, after all). Its quite a long journey, and she makes for good company. -@/supertiny-tins

- Grian, Doc, and Ren fianlly start heading out to 0,0. Its a long journey, they decide in the end to leave their beds behind at the cabin in case any of them die so none of them end back at their orginal spawns. they would of just made new beds every time but the lack of suplies and resources near by has been low oddly enough. Doc manages to push aside most of his fears to help Grian and Ren, who are weaker, but he keeps his distance whenever he can. They make many hastily built huts as they go 1most nights are spent sleeping on hard ground, later straight up blocks of wool they find but not beds, just wool is better then ground, and it doesn't do the weaker hermits any favors but it works. There are many close calls, but they manage to avoid death, mostly due to Doc. Along the way they start to find signs of other players, coble in places it shouldn't, a rare torch, half mined trees, but no hermits. They still have a way to go, but they're getting closer to the others and safety. 2 - anonymous

- Etho once found himself spawning in the middle of an ocean with nothing and no one in sight except of course... A faint trail of lights dancing beneath the waves... Pulsing and glimmering, almost in a rhythm, something so fascinating, so... So... He was meant to be doing something...? It was... Important... At least... It might have been... It's all.. Kinda hazy... It couldn't have been more important than the lights, nothing was more important than the lights... They were so beautiful... He could watch them all day... Etho never noticed how he slipped beneath the waves, nor how the glow squid's glittering eyes had turned upon him, coiling a tentacle around his waist as it dragged its prey deep into the depths, his eyes hazed with green, he never even noticed his lungs burning for air.And he never remembered drowning after he respawned. - anonymous

- Impulse actually punches through the Nether roof so they can traverse more safely to coordinates given to them by Etho. They leave trails of blocks so they can make their way back, of course. - @/rayveewrites

(Evil X is now hiding out in a cave near spawn)

- Shattered!AU: I see everyone's Warden!Xisuma heacannons and I give you Axolotl!Xisuma. Think about it he's been hanging around with them and Jevin in the lush caves so maybe he's becoming more like them. (Frills, a more pink-ish tint to his skin, the ability to breathe underwater, etc.) :D (Is this because the thought of him having Warden traits is terrifying to me? Maybe. Is it because I think he deserves to become something not scary after his whole ordeal in the Deep Dark? Yes.) - anonymous

- Ever since getting out of the loop, Impulse has had a horrible inner conflict between his guardian side being instinctually drawn to the water, and his human brain being deeply terrified of ever being submerged again. - @/asexualbert

- Because I absolutely adore Daisy, more headcannons for Daisy.Daisy will occasionally just pick Mumbo up gently with her horns when she thinks she isn't getting enough attention. Daisy has a bell collar, because she kept scaring hermits by following Mumbo silently. Daisy is more okay with Iskall than most other hermits, though still doesn't really like him. - anonymous

- Though I'm a sucker for angst, what if Impulse was saved by a dolphin pod or something instead of transforming into a hybrid (or after transforming if Guardian!Impulse is cannon). :3 I can picture dolphins don't take kindly to the Guardian Mobs, might even find them as prey if anything since they're fish. (Guardian!Impulse wouldn't count since they're smart enough creatures to tell the difference.) - anonymous

- Prob a bit early for epilogue stuff but I like to think that, once all the glitches are fixed, that those that became hybrids and would prefer to be back to normal get changed back. - anonymous

(Shade note: Personally, I'm a sucker for stories where the characters adjust and learn to live with the unexpected changes to themselves rather than having them magically fixed, but this option is certainly still here for the people who find it appealing)

- For the scattered au, after the numerous frozen deaths Grian's gone through he starts hearing voices from the snow, even from within Ren's cabin. A snow golem forms after a wandering trader drops a pumpkin and watches from outside the cabin, deciding to guard the place after taking a liking to Grian and Ren. - anonymous

- When Etho became fully ghost, it hit hard. BeetleJhost saw this, and after a while decided to teach him how to show his form and speak. It takes a lot out of him, but it’s worth it. His friends deserve that closure. (Listen, I was expecting angst, I just wasn’t expecting that much angst.) - @/harley-the-pancake

- Mod Shade, I want you to know that angsting ghost!Etho that hard was entirely on you. I was picturing him clipping through blocks and dropping items at inconvenient points, not fading out of existence entirely. - @/draconic-dreams

- Possible explanation for everything going on in Scattered:Players were never supposed to be so powerful; in the natural state of Minecraft they're just another mob, albiet one that can craft and use any tool.But the Players weren't satisfied with that. Everyone from the admin of the smallest server to the mythological ‘dev team’ has been imposing little changes on the world since its inception, slowly tweaking it into a better environment for Player-kind.A single spawn at the world's centre. The ability of Players to chat from one end of the world to another -- even across different worlds. Even natural regeneration, an ability unique to the rarest and most powerful of mobs. As time marched on, Players not only unlocked these things but began to take them for granted, drawing far away from the behaviour of normal mobs. This became normal. Players continued to create datapacks and run commands that tweaked the very nature of the world. -@/draconic-dreams

(Shade note: Perhaps it was just a random glitch, one fundamental line of code removed to shift the balance of power. Or maybe it was orchestrated, but by who and for what purpose? Either way, it will take the Hermits a while to realize this, and even longer to fix it...if they can at all.)

- Jessasin spawned in a mesa biome, of course he's confused on how he got there and why he's in this random vanilla world and not his usual modded world, but both questions got pushed aside when the death messeges arrive. He exploared the area gathering as much recourses as he can and goes off too find someone, anyone really. - @/ghan-does-things

- hello! I discovered the scattered au literally yesterday so sorry if this is something that has already been gone over but I had an idea about bdubs, what if his constant exposure to the void and surviving on nothing but chorus fruit for who knows how long made him slightly enderman-y? 1/2 (sorry, couldn't fit the whole thing in one ask)Like nothing obvious at first, but making eye contact makes him agitated and snappy, touching water makes his skin tingle and if you look at him in the dark his eyes seem to have a very faint pink/purple glow about them? Maybe the other hermits swear he's taller than he was the last time they saw him? And the tips of his fingers are blackened, he assumes due to frostbite, but it seems to gradually be making it's way further up his hands? again sorry if this has been gone over already 2/2 - @/plantichu

- Okay so after Welsknight and Helsknight manage to get past the crazy vault door in Hels, not sure how but it probably involved a lot of cussing on Hels part and Wels saying that he never wanted to look at redstone ever again. The portal takes them to the overworld near Xisuma and Jevin. - anonymous

- (scattered au) The first set of non hermits to join this corrupt world are two strangers that apparently came from infinity's grasp. The good news they both spawned at spawn, bad news the brought the tnt duper flying machines, good news that everyone was able to calm them both down. Now the fun begins. Tldr Illmango and Methodz finally get out of the infinity portal. - anonymous

- Loving the Scattered AU. Late to the party, but was looking at the wider MC community reaction to the Hermits vanishing. Once it's clear something bad's happened, would the Legacy crew and whoever else (former Evo squad members like Martyn and Jimmy as well, if they notice Grian go dark) take steps to find out what happened? Would they go to the MCC server (it's kind of a nexus between worlds) & get Noxcrew to try "pinging" the HC server? Would X & other admins see it but be unable to respond? - @/wixelt

- I dont know if anyone has mentioned it but uhhhh, guardian xb? he was a guardian hybrid before everyone got scattered like Ren was already a wolf/dog hybrid. iirc xb spawned in a desert which would be a very interesting place for a guardian hybrid to spawn - anonymous

- Etho has been so, so desperate to avoid dying the same way twice, to stay himself. He hasn't drowned that many times, he thinks. Surely, surely he's starved more often? There's a strange feeling of deja vu hanging over him when he respawns in the ocean, though he can never understand why. Each time the squid finds him, he drowns a little slower, and each time, he glows a little stronger.And he just can't understand, almost refuses to, as he treks from biome to biome, where the small green bumps that line his arms and face came from, how his fingertips seem to almost glow when he scoops a handful of water, how long he finds himself simply staring… at the moon, at sea lanterns, at torches, at lights… He would die a different way every time. He had to. He had to stay Etho. He would not become anything else. - Anonymous

- When Mumbo comes riding into camp on Daisy, it’s easy to see Impulse is not happy about the ravager being there. That’s expected, it’s not exactly everyone’s favorite mob to see around a safe haven. But when Mumbo and Impulse make eye contact, the evoker can’t help but make a simple warding gesture his friends at the mansion taught him- it’s a reflex move. Days later, Mumbo still isn’t sure if Impulse flinched because of Daisy’s sudden growl or his ward. - @/fluffy-papaya

- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: For years, seeds and the land they built had been carefully curated by those known as players, in an effort to make it both easier and more interesting for themselves. But the land doesnt want to be controlled. Their glitched, broken world is a result of the world itself rioting against their presence. Coordinates aren't visible with the debug screen, their coms only serve the world, to tell the players what it knows. Compasses spin wildly in the overworld, for there is no "world spawn" (though coordinates are visible with one in hand. Small mercies are still given). The world resists any further changes by the simple fact it refuses to accept what a hermit communicates. Maybe it's fixable, but maybe... maybe it runs deeper than just their world. (The Legates caused a lot of damage with all those withers, after all.) - @/basaltdragon

- While Iskall is in the desert, he ends up dying quite a few times, enough to adapt, he becomes like a stray, so now, if we have skeleton Etho, we have 3 undead hermits - anonymous

- When everyone is finally gathered and they manage to come together to use all their skills, new and old, the hermits use it to flee back to Season 7. They stay there for months, mostly to heal and adjust to what happened to them. (Trauma isn't easy) Those who have friends or family off server get invited to visit, but the hermits don't leave, they nearly lost each other and they aren't willing to risk it again right now. They'll make a new season 8 at some point, the hermits are too (1/3)restless and too ingrained in their ways to completely disregard how they've always done things, but that will come when they feel better, safer, more put together, when they can finally stop sleeping in a big pile becuase they're afraid the others will disappear. They never go back to that old glitched world, the idea makes them sick, and X starts the new practice of sending in the 'Cam' and/or 'alt' accounts in first to check out the world and set up commands and plugins remotely first. (2/3) What happened before will never, ever happen again he swears it. Next time they might not be so lucky after all [if you can call them all being traumatized, many of them dying over and over again, some being permanently altered, and barely escaping lucky] (also feel free to save these asks for near the end of the au!) (3/3) - anonymous (Shade note: I personally like the idea of them fixing and learning to live in the glitched-out world, but this is another alternate ending!)

- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: Alternatively, what happened is exclusive to their world. (I don't have Dramatic Storytelling for this one, sorry) EX has ADHD to the max, and everything he does is a desperate attempt to get Noticed, to get looked up to and listened to. He's known it was "wrong" for a while, hence why he took X's name and added "Evil", but he never seriously wanted them to hurt. Just to listen to him. He'd meant to come in and fix it all and finally be a hero. He didn't realize, either through haste or inexperience, that he too would be at the mercy of what he'd done.Maybe he does, eventually, make it to where the hermits have gathered. But does he really want to admit everything? (RSD had burned him before, and if there ever was something to place the blame on his head...) - @/basaltdragon

- lasting effects of deaths

- a large amount of assorted ideas

- The bell they put on Daisy was originally of the type that are put on cats, but Grian ended up switching it out with a cowbell because he hated the sound - anonymous

- False, Keralis, Cleo, and Stress make it to spawn, bedraggled and exhausted. Out of all the Hermits, they are some of the last to arrive. Along the way, they’ve encountered trials innumerable that have left them beaten and bruised, but after months of travel, they’ve finally made it.Shortly after leaving the Moobloom field, they came upon an abandoned cart in the middle of a desolate village. With some of the redstone they had found and whatever magic they managed to scrape up, they turned it into a sort of vehicle that allowed them to travel much faster. It had a habit of breaking every six seconds or so, but nothing they couldn’t fix. For the most part. A few accidental combustions aside, they crossed the server in record time.Once at spawn, False has to be forcibly restrained from immediately starting guard duty, and several of the Hermits have to physically wrestle her into a bed in order for her to get some rest. Stress starts up a potion factory the next day, and also starts decorating the spawn with the flowers she’s collected during their travels. Keralis helps out wherever he’s needed, but in his downtime, he constructs an elaborate warren of tastefully decorated, industrial tunnels under the spawn, just in case they might help. Cleo mostly just stays in bed, creating elaborate dioramas and mourning the loss of her zombie side. She’ll get better, but it’ll take some time. And that’s ok with the rest of them. - @/topazastral

- When Doc, Grian, and Ren finally make it to 0,0 there is no fanfare, no dramtic entrance, no revulation. They were travling and suddnly, there was a base, a hermitcraft base, and they could see people. Grian clambers to feet shakily from the shed, nearly falling but Doc and Ren catch him and toghther they help him walk foward and call out to their friends. They are safe now, they're here- Is that mumbo on a ravager what the hell? Wait thats Impluse? Seems like Grian wasnt the only one changed. - anonymous

- Jellie reacting to vex!scar headcanons -she recognises him instantly. The moment she and xb arrive at spawn she darts straight towards him. Of course, she cant figure out why he looks different, but regardless, thats her owner and she demands pets!!!-sometimes she will jump up and try to pounce on his vex wings, because shiny moving thing! Scar picked up on this very quickly and will move out of the way before she gets the chance (vex wings are rather delicate and a pain to get fixed)-whe she's bored, she will always go to mumbo and daisy for attention first. This makes scar rather jealous and she knows that damn well-Scar will sometimes pick her up and fly her around not too far from spawn for a few minutes. Nothing she isnt used to, as he flys with the elytra all the time, but something about flying with vex magic just feels... different. And fun! - anonymous

- Contrary to the enderman bdubs, ender dragon bdubs. His eyes aren't the normal brown, and are instead a bright magenta, he also now has ashen gray horns. - Anonymous

- Scattered AU: The intended world "theme" Xisuma had set up for Season 8 was Large Biomes. This was before anyone knew something was going to go wrong, of course, but it's had a horrible lasting effect in the glitched world. Not everywhere has generated as "large", so when Hermits are travelling they'll sometimes find normal sized biomes, and other times they'll find one biomes that stretches an abnormal distance in all directions. Grian and Doc's mountain range is one of these large biomes. - @/wixelt

- For the scattered au, the snow golem follows Grian and Ren (and Doc) to the spawn haven, for a few days the hermits are wondering what's leaving behind snow trails and zombie flesh, so they decide to have a night watch around this area. Ren volunteered and waited, half-asleep he nearly nearly gets hit with a arrow when he hears the sound of a skeleton getting hurt. He sees the snow golem and uses his sword to kill the skeleton. The snow golem tries to flee but Ren realizes and stops it (1/2)He welcomes the snow golem and introduces it to Grian and Doc, (where the snow golem warns him that it is keeping its eyes on him in its own language). Spooked, Grian tells them that he can understand it, and the golem tells him that he's been following them since their time at the mountain. They decide to give it the name Catmint and it helps guard the hermit's base at night (while giving a stern look at Doc every now and then.(2/2) - anonymous

- (Scattered au)Seeing as we now have 3 different variations of Etho, I raise you: all 3 at once. It turns out Etho was not in fact human, instead a shapeshifter who didn't know that he was, the deaths simply sped up the process, whereas before, while he would change slightly, it was never fast enough to be noticeable - Anonymous

- I had this idea some time ago actually but I thought it was silly but now that the au in ending might as well say it. It doesn't make much sense now with all the new development srry. What if one day Mumbo was callibrating his comunication monstrosity, and suddenly his communicator had signal. He called and called but whoever was a the other side didn't pick up, until they did and Mumbo was overjoyed, but the happiness died down when he could only hear chocked sobs and sharp breathing and (1)teeth chattering. Suddenly a voice whispered, little and fragile "h-h-he-lp". Mumbo knew that voice too well. Before he could even open his mouth to let his best friend he was coming for him, he'd be okay, anything, the breathing stopped. The call was still going, but no one was at the other side anymore, Mumbo hung up with tears in his eyes, and he swore he'd find him and he'd help him. (2) - anonymous

- Scattered AU: While there's still time for them: Mumbo was the furthest Hermit out in the Overworld, & didn't set off for over a year, yet wasn't last to 0,0 (with Iskall) by any stretch. More than half the Hermits seemed to arrive after him. This can be partly attributed to Daisy making good time, but it makes you wonder how many trials & tribulations impeded False, Stress, Cleo and Keralis along the way? How much Ren, Doc & Grian were slowed by Grian's condition? What took xB or Biffa so long? - @/wixelt

- Once everyone finds each other, at the world spawn, after the initial shock, and fixing of the world of course, the hermits all decide to settle much closer to each other. They were separated for quite a while, so it makes sense why they'd decide to keep close. Some groups also make shared bases. - anonymous

- I sort of want grian to be a bit more inhuman so how about grian’s skin on his arms, legs and most of his face permanently blackened by the severe frostbite and the rest of his skin has taken on a bluish tinge, his hair is no longer the Gold it was before but almost snow white with a tinge of dark and light blue, his ears and tail are snow white with what appears to be frost and ice growing on them (1/2)(2/2) grian can not cry because the tears will immediately turned to ice, he can’t swim because if his body touches the water the water will freeze over, his skin is cold to the touch and whatever he moves his body it will make a cracking sounds like breaking glass or smashing ice, no matter how warm it is he can always see his breath... i’m trying to think of more but I’m coming up blank so that’s it hope you like it. - anonymous

- bc i cant stand when cleo is unhappy: the moment she and joe reunite, joe realizes how horrible it is for her to have her body messed with against her will. and as an admin, he can modify her code to put her back to how she was in previous seasons (aka not totally rabid but still undead) - anonymous

- Admins log final day: I'm glad we'll all be able to wake up from this nightmare, and we're able to get an exit portal going thanks to Mango and Methodz having a backup of the key to open the infinity portal's power, we should be able to not only go back in time, but destroy this broken timeline. Were all grateful for them, and I did invite them both to help us incace this happens again. This will be the last day in this timeline, if you somehow found this helmet with these logs, thank you. :-) - anonymous

- Grian, Doc, and Ren find it hard to stay away from each other too long, especially Doc and Ren becuase they've been taking care of Grian for such a long time so they find themselves kinda hovering over him and Grian finds himself seeking them out even when he's with other hermits. The other groups, who've been toghther for awhile, do it too probs - anonymous

- Soon as Grian and Mumbo see each other, they launch themselves at the other and hold on for a long, long time. Iskall join in soon as he wanders by and they talk for hours about what happened, looking over Grian's new fox parts and the blue marks on his hands, Mumbo gray stained hands and magic, and just Iskalls overall experience. Also Grian's little fox buddy absolutely loves Daisy and vice versa. Its not uncommon to see the small fox riding on the ravager's back while Daisy scares people. - Anonymous

- I know I'm a bit out of loop w scattered au & is probably getting things wrong but consider this, when Mumbo accidentally summoned Scar, leaving Bdubs alone, Bdubs freaked out. The very person that meant rescue & hope for him back in the end is now gone, he felt like he's back into the void again and he thought Scar abandoned him because he's too weak & is a burden to Scar. (Yes I am currently drowning in Scardubs angst) - @/anthosaidsmth

- The glitches in the world didn't only happen to the Hermits, it happened to all worlds created in 1.17. The cause remains unknown, though it is believed that something or even someone corrupted/changed the code (what/who is up to imagination. In the case of the latter, so is the motive). My idea, we've already confirmed that Watchers are arrogant jerks so perhaps they couldn't stand the fact that players learned to do things against the rules that they put in place, and did this out of spite. - anonymous

- A bit late but I see all the Fox!Grian headcannons so what if Grian spawned in a jungle and slowly became a parrot hybrid instead? How idk, maybe resorting to eating seeds to prevent himself from starvation because there is no animals in this jungle.

- Here's a thought: The Hels!Hermits were also effected by whatever caused the scattering. They may all hate or annoy each other, but not having each other around to pick on isn't very fun (neither are death loops). Perhaps some of them gain humility over this or learn to be at least a bit nicer to each other and their counterparts. (or some of them find sadistic amusement in their counterpart's miseries) - anonymous

- Finally, once everyone has made it safely to spawn and the problems with the world have been resolved, the season begins. Some of the Hermits may have changed (more than just physically) but over time, they adapt and recover. Grian eventually starts yet ANOTHER war, Tango gets to build DO 2.0 (X is terrified at the fact wardens are involved), and Cleo becomes a coach on 'how to be a mob hybrid' (unless all new hybrids get returned to how they were before by admin powers or just being players). - anonymous

- With all the glitches fixed and all the hermits starting to get back to their normal (Well as normal as it can be after all of these), I wonder if Scar is still a vex. All the hermits just adapted to their situations, but Scar is different, he made a deal with the Vex. - @/anthosaidsmth

- It takes all of the hermits that changed a while to get used to the changes, but eventually they do, mostly through help and support from the other hermits - anonymous

- I had a wee idea and it's a little silly but I like hurt/comfort so maybe after all the scattered au events have passed and the hermits are all together living safely, every winter some hermits invite Grian to their bases to take care of him since the snow and the cold are very bad for him. Sometimes he gets fevers but most of the time he just needs a warm blanket and someone to distract him from the snow. This is also making me wonder if Grian could develop chinophobia (fear of the snow). - Anonymous

- conclusion

Art:

- An Evoker Mumbo

- Evoker Mumbo with Daisy

- Evoker Mumbo summoning Scar

- a Guardian Impulse

- assorted doodles here and here

- A two-part Impulse comic

Writing:

- some Etho lore come back to haunt him (pt 1)

- Cleo sharing mob-hybrid tips with Impulse

- Executioner

- Fish out of water

- Homesick

- Thalassophobia

- The General's Wager (pt 2)

- The Undertow

- Saviors

- Bdubs falling

- For lack of blue shiny rocks (pt 3)

- conclusion (pt 4)

- EX in the Deep Dark

- this road I'm on's gonna turn to sand

- Snapshots

- a multi-chapter Scattered interpretation written just before the real season 8, complete with some outside lore and crossover

- Scattered Across The Map (series of parallel multi-chapter fics)

- One Hundred Thousand Worlds Away

[kisekinodrabbles]

Sam you're back!!! Can i get a request where aomine preparing a proposal marriage to his so but accidentally mention it to his so? And it ended up funny please!! I've been waiting for your ask box to be opened 🤗🤗

alwkerjalkejr im sorry this is so late and im bad at Humor so this is the best i can do for now, i hope u enjoy it 

Aomine wasn’t a planner. Not even close. He had breezed through high school with poor grades and actions decided solely on impulse. He had faced college head on with no particular direction and went where the wind sent him. The only thing he was certain about had been basketball and that had been the only thing pushing him forward. 

However, of course, it was different after he met you. The game changer, some called you. No one would guess that Aomine would’ve settled down at the raw age of 24 with a woman he had known for exactly seven months and three days. A blind date first encounter, several dates and sexy times later, the two of you had made it exclusive. 

And Aomine was whipped to say the least. 

24 was a far cry from his expected settlement age. The two of you butt heads on many things, including your relationship and the long-term perspective. He viewed marriage as a trap, a cage to keep him locked up and away. But you had illuminated the difference in his mind. 

Marriage wasn’t a prison, it was a commitment. Commitment that didn’t leave him feeling stuck, but instead liberated. The thought of spending the rest of his life with you both terrified and enthralled him. Terrified not because he feared giving up the rest of his life, but because the idea of losing you imprinted a searing pain into his heart.

He twiddled with the ring box in his hands, feeling the smooth velvet underneath his fingertips. He had bought it on impulse - a glance into a jewelry store when the two of you were out for your biweekly date (given your busy schedules – Aomine with training and you with your mundane desk job). He had gotten a bonus for the season for doing particularly well, not that it was hard.

It was the extra cash, he would say, that made him do it. When you traipsed off into a bakery, he wandered in the opposite direction and ended up back in front of the glimmering diamonds. He was just going to take a look, he figured. No harm done.

However, he ended up walking out with a small bag that he quickly hid from sight in his gym bag – the weight of the tiny compartment placing a heavy burden on his shoulders. His nerves crept up on him as if the box would sear right through the fabric and you would find out that This Idiot had bought a ring on a whim. A pricey one at that (he had to recalculate his budgeting for the month after this).

“Daiki,” you called, snapping your fingers in front of his face.

Aomine descended back to reality and to the meal before him. The two of you were sharing dinner and apparently you had been sharing a story about your coworker who he couldn’t really give less shit about but he just enjoyed listening to the sound of your voice fill the room. 

“Huh?” he asked, mouthful of pasta opening to let bits fall out.

You crinkled your nose in disgust, eyeing the fallen pieces on his plate. “You’re gross, first of all. Second, you’re not listening to me.”

“Yes, your coworker has stolen multiple pens from your table and hasn’t given a single one back but you’ve seen it on other people’s desks.” Years of “not” listening to Momoi nag his ass off had trained him to pick up on key points of conversation. He had gotten multiple earfuls from his childhood friend for not listening and he was almost thankful that he had a skillful ear. 

Oh. That had you closing your mouth and blushing. Cute. “Okay, fine, so you were listening. But still!” 

“Babe, it really isn’t a big deal. Just ask for them back from your other coworkers, I’m sure they’ll be cool with it.”

“I guess,” you mumbled. 

Aomine’s lips quirked up. You didn’t like confrontation and especially not over something so small. Cute.

“Are you cleaning the bedroom tomorrow or am I?” you said, collecting both your plates and leaving them in the sink. Aomine instinctively followed after you to get started on the dishes – he had been well-trained in the art of kitchen hygiene mainly through your incessant criticism of how bad he was at it. 

Meanwhile, you headed over to your shared bedroom only to be dismayed by the sight of his gym bag. You could practically see the smell leaking out from it. “Daiki,” you groaned again. What was it this time, he wondered. He was distracted by getting every inch of stain off the plates when you grumbled, bringing out his bag. “What did I tell you about leaving your gross, used uniform in your bag? We have a laundry basket, babe.”

“Yep, sorry, forgot,” he noted almost robotically. This happened weekly and, no matter how many times you reminded him, he was going to keep forgetting. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t going to sweat in the clothes again. 

He heard you distinctively moan some more in the background but he was so focused on that one sauce mark that he barely processed what you were saying, answering your questions with half his attention on you.

“When did you bring these back?”

“Two days ago.”

“Two days ago! Do you not smell it?”

“No.”

“My god, what is this mess? What’s this stain?”

“Probably the burger I ate with the team.”

“Your towel has another stain.”

“Oh, Eiji spilled his soda on it.”

“What’s this box?”

“Engagement ring.”

It didn’t register with him what he just said. It was another answer to another question, nothing else. It was only when the silence weighed heavily in the air that he turned to check on you.

You who were standing frozen in your spot, velvet box still in hand and eyes the size of saucers. “A what?”

Aomine blanked out then. How in the fuck was he supposed to get out of this situation? He wanted to do this properly, the way that you deserved. It wasn’t as if you were a die-hard romantic who needed roses spread across their apartment, but he certainly wanted to give you something equivalent that you would enjoy. A gesture that you deserved for all the time you spent putting up with him. 

So he thought of the next best thing. “For my friend. Um, he asked me to pick it up.”

“Daiki, I know all your friends and I don’t think any of them have significant others.”

“It’s a distant friend, he did it to not be suspicious.” 

You shrugged, shoving it back into his bag. For a moment, he could’ve sworn he saw a flash of hurt across your eyes. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t brought up marriage before, but it’s something Aomine had always waved off. Perhaps you were instantly convinced, a dream close to your fingertips but still out of reach. 

“I lied,” he quickly blurted out, getting up from his seat to approach you and pluck the box from your hands. He ran his thumb across the smooth cover, taking in a deep breath. “This is for us. For you. I wanted it to be a surprise, but I also want you to know that I am serious about you, no matter how many times I joke about it. You... mean the world to me and there’s nothing I won’t do to keep you by my side.” 

He watched your lips part in surprise, a revelation that had struck you to the core. Aomine, who had been so adamant that marriage was nothing but a lie, was thinking of proposing. You could feel your brain shortcircuit and it seemed to show on your face.

Aomine chuckled, ruffling your hair, “Don’t look so shaken. I’m not going to do it now. Like I said, it’s going to be a surprise so I’m not going to ask you now. But just know that I will ask you—and ask you properly. When that time comes, you better be ready to say yes.”

You smiled, “I’ve never been readier for anything.”

[doakaptan]

i think i finally get mad men and im not happy about it

Two weeks ago I started watching Mad Men for an assignment and accidentally became obsessed with a show that had no premise other than Don Draper bedding various women. 5 seasons in, I bought myself a mechanical keyboard just so that I can live the aesthetic of the show while writing this.

(I will write this post assuming you have read my first blog post about this show but you don’t have to worry about missing any info because the first blog post was me predicting an unpredictable show and cursing at characters)

So turns out, I did not really figure out anything by only watching the first seven episodes. No surprise there. But by diving deep into the first 2 seasons I realized that Mad Men is actually deeper than it lets on and the cheapening effect of its over-sexualized characters don’t really do a great job at hiding it. Actually after a while sex in the show is more symbolism than actual sex. It especially signifies a mental state that is special to Don and you actually start feeling sorry for him whenever a sex scene comes up. 

Well, Don Draper is a villain as well as the hero or to put it more accurately, a tragic hero and as the seasons progress you develop a love hate relationship with him. And if you binge watch 5 seasons and use all your spare time to think about it, you start relating to Don. Surprisingly Don had all the odds against him and lived an awful life without ever doing anything to prompt it. As I learned more about his life I actually started getting mad at the alternative reality of Mad Men because goddamn let the man breathe and be happy for once. 

At the start I was mad about him cheating on Betty with every single powerful women that looked his way and I am still mad, you can’t really excuse that, but as their relationship was revealed more and more I kind of started to understand why he preferred spending the nights somewhere else. Betty is incredibly hard to put up with and no offense but even I’m not sticking around for her character development. She is overbearing, childish, overall a pain in the ass. If I knew her in real life I would have thought that she was pampered too much and was unable to grow up and get a grip as a result. She has mommy issues though and I respect that. There are also moments that she shines and she especially prefers shining only after they get a divorce and when she knows she will get Don’s approval. Before I lose track and continue talk about Betty know that Don is always worse and let me wrap up his analysis. 

Don is, in my opinion, someone who experiences love by avoiding it. (A love avoidant may be the term but I am not really sure). He marries Betty because he falls in love too hard and starts avoiding her right after their marriage, he likes the artist woman too much so he leaves her to be with someone she is more compatible with, same thing with the most of the women he chases. I only realized how hard he avoids the people he likes during season 4 when he decides to marry his secretary (who mind you spend like 4 days with him in Los Angeles to take care of his children) rather than building a healthy relationship with Faye who was probably the best person he could have ended up with. This also relates back to his self-destructive tendencies. He never truly believes that he deserved anything so he makes sure that he ruins it.

He excessively drinks and smokes, cuts ties on a whim, cheats and only ever feels truly like himself while he’s with Anna (who dies later in the series). Anna is and was the friend he needed all along. Even in his stolen identity Anna was the only person who accepted him as who he is and didn’t leave his side even in his darkest times. The man literally went to Korea by himself to defend an area and came back with a stolen id and lots of trauma and adopted himself into the life of her (the wife of the person he stole his identity from) and made sure she lived a life full of love. He shines the most when he can be himself but his old identity is and probably will always be an enigma to him. 

I think he’s slowly starting to find his way and make up for his mistakes but since he is used to self-destructing his set backs get more and more brutal each time. I start relating to him at this point the most. Relapsing in situations like these is brutal and it always feels like it is the last time and for once, for Don, it is the last time. He starts writing to understand himself and starts doing things like, regularly going to swimming or getting into a healthy relationship with someone who will be with him and help him through his ups and downs. He relapses when he decides to marry his secretary and from then on his relapse will only get worse but I believe that he is getting somewhere…

I will update this post once and for all, when I finish the entire series but for now I weirdly have hope that everything will end well for Don. 

And since I overstayed my welcome by going way over the word-limit I will speed run the thoughts I have about the other characters.

Betty, despite my comments earlier is actually misunderstood and deserves more than she gets. She truly loved Don and did everything in her power to make him happy. She even left her very successful modeling career to get married with him while SHE DESERVED BETTER THAN HIM. Her parenting is questionable but it can be overlooked because right now (in the middle of a global pandemic) we can all agree that being stuck with our family 24/7 is not ideal and we have been doing it for only a year while she has been doing it for more than a decade with more children adding up. LEAVE BETTY DRAPER/FRANCIS ALONE. 

(Also, watch the scene where she shoots at her neighbor’s pigeons because he threatened little Sally with killing her dog then talk to me about good parenting…)

Pete Campbell, turns out I really like him and his work ethic. I wish he ended up with Peggy but he is doing just fine with Trudy good for him. good. for. him. Thank god they didn’t follow up Trudy’s ‘old lover’, ‘the one that got away' plot line because it would probably be the thing I hated the most about watching this show. She is not an interesting character and she’ll never be. Good for Pete though, good for Pete. He never gets anything and I don’t know if he deserves getting it because we are not that exposed to him. But he is loyal to the ones he loves and even though his morals can get a bit questionable at times he is hardworking and will build up a great life as far as I’m concerned. (And if he doesn’t you can find me on ao3 re-writing his plot because I am no longer appreciating Pete-slander in this house).

Peggy. GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR HER. LEAVE THAT DAMN CATHOLIC CHURCH AND HANG OUT WITH WANNABE REALEST OF THE REALEST ARTISTS. Also love the gay girl she should have ended up with her instead of the wannabe artist who only talks about capitalism. Peggy’s job is capitalism their relationship don’t really make sense.

Joan… Joan deserved someone who treated her right but fell into the lap of a charming locker-room-mouthed jock, who tried to be a surgeon and failed then tried to be a psychiatrist and failed and finally got drafted for Vietnam (ngl I hope he dies there). Unpopular opinion she should have ended up with Roger because while I hate ‘the perfect girl fixes boy with problems’ trope I would have eat it up. I like them together and surprisingly they are good together. I think she is the only one smart enough to actually lead cis-het white men who think they own everything because they are men, within their company and she deserves more than she gets with the shit she deals with. 

On a last note, the topics Mad Men deals with sometimes can get a bit triggering or upsetting but I think it is worth a watch.

[amelialincoln]

Electric Love

im sorry to those who were expecting an amelink fic. i guess what else would you expect (im sorry). but i also really enjoy reading Marecal fics from Red Queen and tbh I've been loving amelink this season but the last two episodes have left me feeling a bit disappointed with the lack of cutesy, romantic shit that i live for and i’ve just been feeling unmotivated. so i hope some of you can enjoy this fic. i know it isn’t a huge fandom but it’s a wholesome one so maybe i can find some marecal shippers in the greys anatomy fandom :)

Mare’s eyes shone with amusement as Rafe tumbled back into the mud. They both were panting and the sky swirled above them, tainted with purple and green.

“That was pathetic.” She grinned.

“Hey, cut me some slack, I’ve been training with Ella for the last six months and, as powerful as she is, she’s no combat fighter.” Despite being exhausted, he wiped the blood from his chin and green lighting sparked at his fingertips. “Let’s put the physical fighting to rest and level out the playing field a bit.” Mare’s expression darkened and she tried to hide her reaction. The training she’d done ever since she and Cal had started their training camp in Norta had been minimal. Cal had tried to pass off all royal responsibilities after the war but the palace had too much of a perfect training arena to pass up. They’d kept saying they would build their own centre in the Westlakes region so Mare could be closer to home, but the amount of newblood prodigies they’d discovered since they’d started the camp was too impressive to leave behind. And despite everything, she’d rarely used her abilities lately. A couple weeks back she’d gotten out of control. She wasn’t sure where it had come from but she’d never experienced anything like it. Ever since she could sense something different. Something that was causing an imbalance inside of her. She’d mentioned none of it to Cal, simply asking if she could work on combat instead of ability training. He’d showed some confusion but didn’t press it, assuming she was wanting to brush up on fighting skills. “Come on, Mare,” Rafe joked, “are you scared?”

“No.” She found herself yearning for the feeling of electricity coursing through her veins. She was surprised by how easily she summoned it after three weeks of suppression. She felt herself wondering if she’d created the whole situation in her head. Rafe shot a web of green energy at her to bring her back to reality.

“You’re distracted,” he observed.

“Never,” she replied. A bolt of lighting hit the ground beside him, causing him to jump. Rafe grinned and the hill lit up with green.

Mare was full of exhilaration, summoning lighting from the thundering sky above in ways that she’d forgotten she was capable of. If she were fighting Ella they probably would’ve torn the mountain apart by now but Rafe easily absorbed the purple bolts into the webs of his own and they reflected back up into the sky. Mare dodged the ones he sent her way, letting them sizzle into the grass behind her. Rain began to pour down on them and the purple bolts of lighting were coming down quickly and sporadically.

“Mare, cut it out with the rain,” Rafe yelled over the thundering noise. Mare looked up into the sky nervously, she hadn’t asked for the rain. She noticed a swirling pattern of lighting that was churning in the clouds, one she hadn’t called upon.

“I didn’t--” she started before she was knocked to the ground, a green light washed over her and she was left tingling. Rafe rushed over to her.

“I thought you were paying attention, sorry.”

“I probably deserved that,” she muttered, wiping mud off her cheeks.

“Call it off, let's head inside.” Mare nodded, wishing the clouds to disperse and the lighting to suppress. The storm only got more intense, she could feel the hair stand up on the back of her neck, Rafe seemed to notice it too. “Mare, call it off!” Lightning stuck too close to the pair, leaving the ground sizzling with purple, hot flames. Mare was suddenly happy for the rain. “What are you doing?” He yelled. Mare felt a wave of nausea roll over her. The hair on the back of her neck stood up again. “Mare!” She could hear the fear in his voice. He cupped her face in his hands. “Focus!” Mare felt her entire body shake as the rain stopped and static electricity was sucked out of the air. She fell back in exhaustion, her body trembling in sweat. “Jesus.” Rafe glanced around at the damage that their fight had caused.

“We should head back,” Mare grimaced. 

They had a silent journey home. Usually they would run but Mare seemed so exhausted that Rafe hadn’t mentioned it. The trek seemed about a million hours long but finally they said their goodbyes as they neared the entrance of the kingdom.

“Tell Ella and Tyton that I say hi,” she mentioned softly.

“I will,” he promised, studying his friend with concern.

“Thanks for demonstrating at camp today, I know it meant a lot to the kids.”  

“No worries,” he shrugged. “You should come and train with us though. It’s easy to get out of practice when there’s no other electricons to drill with.” He was worried he’d overstepped but was relieved when Mare nodded in response.

“Hey, you look like you got a good workout. I could see the storm you created from here.” Cal embraced her tightly as she let herself into their room. “You okay?” He asked as she winced.

“Yeah, just sore,” she muttered, trying to ignore his confusion as she pushed passed him.

“What’s wrong?” He pressed, sensing her anger.

“I’m just out of practice.” She stepped into their bathroom, turning on the shower.

“I’ve noticed.” He ignored the glare she shot him as he sat on the toilet seat while she undressed and stepped under the stream of water, covered in mud. “You haven’t really been training.” Mare sighed, watching the mud swirl off her in pools of grey. She stepped out of the shower once the water turned clear and was surprised to find Cal still waiting with a towel. “Mare,” he breathed, tracing his hand along her ribcage. She was covered in jagged burns. “What happened?”

“They don’t hurt.” She shrugged, which was a lie.

“Did Rafe hit you?”

“It was an accident, I wasn’t paying attention,” she grimaced as he wrapped her in the towel. Cal didn’t know Mare to be the type of person to not pay attention while fighting. If anything she was more aware of her surroundings than anyone he knew.

“I’ll tell Sara to come up.” He walked out of the room before she could protest, as he knew she would.

They were sitting on the bed when Sara arrived. Mare was draped in one of Cal’s t-shirts that seemed to be drowning her. She couldn’t manage to put on any restrictive clothing without grimacing in pain. Cal had thrown the shirt at her after watching her sort through her clothes for too long, which she’d pulled on happily.

“Cal,” Sara greeted the obviously concerned brunette as she followed him into the living room. He and Mare had built the apartment over the training centre, not wanting to live in the palace considering that sleeping there caused them both to have nightmares every time they tried to close their eyes. She eyed Mare, knowing immediately that something was off. She’d barely seen the young woman over the last couple of weeks and had been trying not to worry after hearing whisperings around the palace that she’d been barely eating. Despite the couple no longer living in the palace, they both usually had no problem requesting food from the kitchen. Apparently Mare was an awful cook, to which Sara wasn’t surprised. Mare lifted her shirt to reveal the blisters that were beginning to form in swirling patterns on her skin. Cal seemed to flinch. Sara was surprised by his reaction to seeing his girlfriend in pain, no doubt after experiencing it many times before. Mare sighed as Sara’s hands began to soothe her skin. The tingling of the burns began to diminish and the soreness in her lower back had also begun to suppress. She glanced up to see that Sara had paused, her palms hovered in place.

“Mare, have you noticed any changes lately?” She questioned softly. Mare glanced at Cal who was eyeing her as he bit the skin on his fingertips.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Sara ignored him, waiting for Mare to respond. Mare nodded slowly.

“I’ve felt out of control,” she replied so softly that Cal could hardly hear it. “I noticed it a couple of weeks ago so I stopped for a bit. Today when I was training with Rafe...it got bad.” Sara nodded, although what Mare had told her was not what she’d been expecting.

“Sara--” Cal started, his voice filled with worry.

“She’s pregnant,” she interrupted him. “Three weeks.” The room’s temperature climbed to what seemed like a thousand degrees and the lights above flickered. Sara couldn’t help but suppress an amused smile at their reactions. Mare burst into tears and the healer immediately removed her hands from the trembling girl’s stomach.

“Thank you, Sara,” Cal shifted awkwardly on his feet as she practically fled from the room. He took Mare into his arms rocking her slightly back and forth, it was rare that she cried and he hadn’t seen her bawl like this in what seemed like years. “Hey, Mare, it’s okay,” he tried.

“Cal, you don’t understand.” She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to sit up. “What happened today scared me. I thought I was going to kill him.”

“What do you mean?” Cal asked, his voice was sympathetic as he rubbed her back in an attempt to comfort her, stealing occasional, curious looks at her stomach.

“It started a couple weeks ago,” she explained as he raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to worry you. I was demonstrating for some of the newbloods and suddenly I felt everything pause, as if the lightning had slipped out of my grasp. It struck more powerfully than I’ve seen it, about ten meters away. The kids were impressed because they thought I was controlling it but I wasn’t. After that I decided to take a break. I was scared that it would happen again and hurt someone. Today was...bad.”

“You think someone else is controlling it when you slip?” He asked. “Or controlling you?” 

“I don’t know,” she shuddered.

“You think it might be the baby?” He added tentatively.

“I doubt a fetus could…” She trailed off. “I mean, I have no idea,” she finally confessed.

“Can we talk about this? Can you tell me how you’re feeling?” Mare bit her lip uncomfortably. 

“I should’ve noticed sooner. I’ve been nauseous and been feeling more tired than usual. My cycle has always been irregular since I lost it in the war,” she admitted. “We’ve just been so busy.”

“When I’ve brought up having kids in the past you’ve never seemed enthusiastic.”

“I don’t think I’d be a good mom,” she confessed. “We also both get our fair share of PTSD episodes.” Cal grimaced at that. “I just have never felt ready to bring a child into this world. That’s why I’ve always been so careful about taking those pills Farley gave me. I don’t know what happened.”

“That makes sense,” he assured her before adding, “we’d have a pretty cool kid,” 

“Yeah, we would,” Mare breathed, placing a tentative hand on her stomach. “Gisa’s gonna freak.” 

“Your Mom would want us to move to the Westlakes immediately,” he joked. Mare smiled at the thought but Cal could sense the worry in her eyes. “Hey, if you don’t want to have it, I’ll support you.” To his surprise Mare shook her head.

“I love you, Cal. I know how much you want this and I see how good you are with the children at camp. Even though it’s not great timing and it might just be the hormones, I don’t want to make a choice that I’ll regret.”

“So we’re having a baby?” Cal asked, trying to conceal his excitement.

“I guess so?” Mare wiped another tear with Cal’s massive t-shirt sleeve. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without training for nine months.”

“You think it all has something to do with the baby?”  

“Three weeks works out pretty well with when I first noticed the change.” She nodded. “Our baby seems like she’s going to be a bit like her mom.”

“Her?” Cal asked, grinning ear to ear.

“I have a hunch,” Mare shrugged, laughing as Cal gently pushed her back against the mattress and covered her face in kisses.

“Nah he’ll be burning your insides in no time. The lightning thing was just a fluke.”

“Does that actually happen?” Mare froze.

“God no,” he laughed. “Though Maven and I found out about our abilities pretty young. Our parents pressed the testing on us pretty early. They wanted to start our training as soon as possible. I don’t think the palace staff appreciated unpredictable five year old fire wielders.”

“Oh god,” Mare shook her head at the thought as Call pulled the duvet over her. “Cal it’s nine.” 

“You said you’ve been feeling tired,” he said firmly.

“Tomorrow is Sunday, there’s no camp anyways.” 

“Perfect, you can sleep in too. My baby is tired.” Mare rolled her eyes at that, knowing she’d have a long nine months ahead of her.

“Fine, but you have to come to bed as well,” she bargained.

“I told Julian--”

“Nope, I’m actually carrying your child which makes me more important than Julian.” She smiled as she watched frustration pass over Cal’s face.

“Fine,” he finally sighed, swifty removing his shirt in one swift motion and wrapping his arms around her. Mare yawned, allowing herself to finally relax into their bed. “If you think you’re fighting combat you’re insane.” Cal’s voice pulled her out of sleep.

“If you think I’m going to sit on my ass all day you’re insane,” she shrugged, rolling over. Cal sighed as he heard Mare’s breathing begin to deepen.

“I know.”

[thatpinkbetch]

Hi! Im new to mha and got into it mostly from tiktok. And before i knew anything abt the series they made it seem like bkdk/ shipping was very controversial? And then i started watching the series and immediately saw why the bkdk ship is so popular. From what i saw on there, some mha ships are v creepy, (adult/minor) tho its definitely the minority bc i got on here to browse tags and accounts & its all nice! Tiktok makes it seem like shipping bkdk/ mha ships are weird. I love ur blog btw!

Hi! Oh my goodness I'm so glad you joined and you seem to be having a good time!! I'm also really glad that you were able to see right through those early biases!! You've got a good head on your shoulders 😊😊😊

Yeah, there are plenty of people that seem stuck on Bakugou's line from the first episode/chapter, but it takes ignoring quite a bit of canon and some misinterpretation to still think of him as just a bully by the time you've caught up. A lot of people who hate Bakugou and Midoriya's relationship seem to like to simplify it, along with...everything, really. For bkdk shippers, the complexity is really one of our favorite parts! I found it so fun to experience the journey of going from hating Bakugou and not wanting them near each other, to loving Bakugou, and then wanting them to be friends, and then seeing them as soulmates - platonic or romantic! Watching Bakugou change, coming upon multiple realizations over time as I watched Midoriya and figured out how they truly felt about each other...their relationship is so well written!! I really think Horikoshi is a genius, because i went on my own journey watching theirs ☺☺☺

I've been into bnha for 2 years now and I've had a bkdk side blog for a year and a half, and I do think shipping bkdk used to be much more controversial, and we used to receive quite a bit of backlash, but with the past 90 or so manga chapters many manga readers have been forced to see what these two mean to each other. I genuinely can't wait for season five to happen because then the anime watchers will get to experience it too!! (Season 5 will definitely be game changing I promise 😁😁😁). I've said it before and I'll say it again, but bakudeku shippers are in it for the long run!!! It's all about the slow burn! But that's what makes it so beautiful, is the time and effort put into it, from both Horikoshi and the boys themselves.

Abxkfnskxjoaod I'm sorry this ended up becoming a small love letter to Bakudeku sndkgjekfjsk 💖💖💖

There are...definitely spaces in this fandom I try to avoid, though that can definitely be said about any fandom! But yes, I have blocked a couple people over adult/minor ships, but you're right, it does seem to be a minority! I did make a post a while ago but to anybody still reading, let this be a reminder that i don't support adult/minor ships or shipping or anyone who supports that. No discourse, just block me.

But yeah tumblr is all about who you choose to follow, and if you find the right people, the experience can be incredible!!! I've met some amazing people in this fandom, and I've found bkdks to be some of the most supportive and loving people! Like I said, bkdks are in it for the long run. They love depth and complexity and growth!! I'm so happy you've been able to prove Tiktok wrong! 😁😁 it's always important to be wary of people who criticize "obsessive" fandoms and people who enjoy queer ships/content as simply fetishizing, because they're often ridiculing neurodivergent people for their hyperfixations and actual queer people who just want to see themselves in the media they consume 😞

Tumblr gets a lot of flack from other social media sites but those sites have their own problems that they seem to ignore and instead call us weirdos 🤔 there are problems here, but i feel the insinuation that a lot of the shipping is adult/minor is an easy jab to delegitimize us, because the show is about students going to school! So it's very easy to believe that a lot of the shipping might be like that, when in actuality, the biggest ships are of the same age! I said I've blocked some people over adult/minor ships, but really it's only been maybe 3 people max? I just think it's so awesome that you were able to take those preconceived notions, check them out for yourself, and dismiss them as invalid! It's a very important trait to have, and not many people online exercise that ability!!

Abxivnskfnekcks oh gosh this went on so long!!! You inspired me 💖💖💖 thank you so much for sending this ask!!! It made me so happy to read 😭😭😭 again I'm really glad you've been having a good time and that you like my blog 🥺🥺 I hope you like to stick around and interact, because you sound really cool and smart!!! Have a lovely day/night/life!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖