#stats is just idk what's going on BUT IG I KNOW MORE THAN I THOUGHT OF WHAT'S GOING ON BC I DIDNT FAIL

[kuiinncedes]

aahaha

[carefreemonk]

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: Key

Pronouns: she/her

Birthday (no year): jan 6

Where are you from? What is your time zone? west coast canada, PST

How long is your roleplay experience? between 25+ years

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? jesus uhhh that was like 25 years ago. started out “gming” worlds for friends as we ran around the neighbourhood throwing pine cones at each other n stuff. you know. the usual. then came the interwebs (i was like idk 11 and debatably should maybe not have been left to my own devices there). found avidgamers rp forums via neopets. medieval/fantasy, seattle alley cats, and pokemon rp were i think all my first written rp experiences in close/overlapping order

How were you introduced to TOA? old ferp pals on twitter kept making mention of it. eventually succumbed ha ha

Do you have any pets? black cat named cabbage. she was the 16th meow meow i fostered before i stopped (maybe get back to it some day…)

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) when the trees are bright red and gold and the air smells crisp and you can comfortably wear a jacket again… :softsmile: and the leaves are crunchy... tho i haven't crunched leaves since the wasp incident

What is your IRL occupation? admin/bookkeeper

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? webcomics, travels, ultimate frisbee, wanna try more sculpting

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? FFXIV, HSR, picross, zelda, smash bros sbeen a long time but shhh, stardew valley

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: ghost, haunter

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! only ever broke one bone (knocks on wood), it was my collarbone from being cross-checked into the boards in ice hockey. have "completed" two novels, no they won't see the light of day. have, over the years, drawn a cumulative 500+ comic pages' worth. i miss it

How did you get into Fire Emblem? fe7, shared a cartridge with my brother i think. just seemed in our wheelhouse w nintendo being what we had at hand

What Fire Emblem games have you played? 6 & up... i think? no spinoffs other than i guess?? feh? up to like. book 4 or smth

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: fe7 and fe7. nostalgia bias strong

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! matthew, henry, azama, louis, and. hector ig? idk

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! matthew. perky lil thief with a side of heartache… 

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 past key thought claude was p handsome i suppose

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: henry (100% still henry) - Fates: conquest- niles, birthright- azama, revelations- kaze. prob wouldnt change. - Three Houses: claude (prob felix in whatever next run i do) - Engage: louis/lapis (saved, finished one, went back for the other hahaha. maybe miss goldmary if i ever run again)

Favorite Fire Emblem class? thief or mage

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? maybe an archer? with p average stats. like i'd Wanna be a cool mage but idt it suits me hahaha

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Deer for sure

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? boon bow, maybe lance bane flying, faith budding talent in heavy armour, auth

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? Brodia? idk

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔 Tee Oh Ay

Current TOA muses: Hector, Azama

Past TOA muses? Ewan, Matthew, Henry, Florina, Goldmary

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Ewan, and nah. he was a delightful lil ball of sunshine but I don't feel I need that anymore

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? somewhat prickly, probably. also three of the guys i've written have canonically gone "Oho!" and another three i like w some overlap in there are the 'closed eyes' type so... whatever that means. In general tho: I like muses with whom I can explore aspects of human personality I wouldn't necessarily venture into on my own. (certain brands of conflict, responsibility, etc)

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could?  idk i think if i really wanted to write a kind of char i probably. would. but i guess the 'much more like Actually Super Intelligent than i can realistically pretend at' would be it i suppose

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? When you get to write characters with a shared history you've built together over time/across threads. When you can refer to past shared experiences, positive or negative... sobs. chefs kiss

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? A Hector near the end of his schooling arc might be neat (he's learned what he's came here for, he's ready to return to Ostia and do Uther and his people proud, and more competently than many mightve imagined at that) but. When that day comes he might really be actually going home soon lol.

Favorite TOA-related memories? lock and key jailbreak. bunker dead by daylight. unscripted both as a mod and as a player like. all of it. the first toa zine. the memes in all the discord pins (aka the laughs). really there's so much

Present or past tense? whichever my partner prefers idc that said have def written many more years in past tense than present despite toa's lean toward the latter

Normal size text, small text, no preference? normal but again idc i am perpetually zoomed in on any given window anyhow

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 sometimes matthew pokes his head up but he'd have to kill sampo so :shrug: living blissfully in my lane. sometimes think a genuine villain might be fun to try tho

[snowdeong]

So anyway

Having anxiety is so odd cause I logged on to be like "uhh might be taking an indefinite hiatus" and instead of just saying that I now feel the need to like write an overly long, overly personal post about what's going on as if anyone cares 😭 and then it's like if I say that no one cares it sounds like I'm attention seeking or baiting people into telling me that they do when in actuality I just have a fucked sense of self that I'm trying (and failing lmao) to work on.

Which brings us back to the hiatus funnily enough cause yup. I haven't even written anything new just a few lines of a few ideas I have cooking but fuck part of why I'm struggling to just sit down and go for it is cause I know I will want to post and just the idea of posting makes me wanna throw up now. I know I can't just write it and keep it to myself cause like that's not how I roll but the idea of posting as me and being seen as me is just fucking awful.

It's the same issue I had in deukae fandom at some point, it felt like too many people knew me and I'd thought maybe the feeling came from the fact that I wasn't fully being myself? Cause part of me is being a horny gremlin that is never more happy than when I'm screaming about yeji's cock in someone's dms. But thinking about it, I honestly think being myself has made it worse 😭 I just don't feel comfortable doing anything online anymore 😭 it all just feels like a value judgement of myself and fuck I do not have enough self esteem for that shit.

I think I might do better posting anonymously, especially since on ao3 if it's anon you can't see metrics without going to the stats page but then it's like damn so having fun online and tryna make friends fucks up my mental health but the solution is to become a recluse. Which I do not want lmao. My life situation already makes me unbearingly lonely and miserable so maybe it's more that I'm used to that and being known is so vulnerable I'd be more comfy on my own? idk tbh I'm just stream of conciousing. All I do know is I don't enjoy keeping to myself but ig that'll be the move until whatever tf is going on in my head stops going on.

I'll probably pop in once in a while to post a meme or rb a friend so they know I'm not dead pff but yeah besides that I think it's bye for a bit.

PS. if I do post something and ya'll notice it's me please don't acknowledge it 🥺 I hate having to type this kinda thing cause it's not really a big deal and no one gives af but sigh just in case

[unproduciblesmackdown]

returning the favor: do you have any hcs re: winston, past or present, that you haven't expounded upon before or at length or just feel like talking about again. whatever you like

Thank You.......yeah idk really what hc's i've like "officially" described here that often lol, but then also there's that whole complication where i don't really ever come up with ideas & when asked anything i'm probably going [???] like, classics like "what do you like out of [broad parameter]" & it's like damn....i dunno. what ideas do i have about winsotn who i've thought about every day for > 2 yrs??? that's tough.....& Then the further chaos of like, when i do have hc's or w/e it's less discrete, concrete invented ideas & more towards the end of the spectrum that's like "well i kinda interpret this part of canon vaguely this way" &/or "i have This vague notion that i haven't solidified into a pretend fact or that i'm not at all committed to or take that seriously" where it's like, not only is this not really nailed down but it's basically free floating / i might have other ideas that would contradict each other lol. seems like a more concise list of Stats that are fully/exclusively my ideas is more exciting, but instead i can offer vague "i dunno / what ifs" based on vibes that i verbosely describe lmao, plus i'll forget a bunch of ideas i may have had i'm sure but you know. what else have i ever offered; never really trying to sell this material to otherwise uninterested parties or only make posts that guaranteed more than one person might enjoy, why would i be starting now; and ig if i write a bunch of stuff here & go "oh & i forgot like a half dozen obvious things" i can add on to it if it's a big deal.....plus it's always tricky with billions in particular being vague abt its own characters lmao, we only see [outside of work] personal stuff if it's going to become directly tied to [definitely at work] professional plotlines, or Maybe glimpse some character contextualizing things for the more central characters....side characters have more blanks to fill but also that means. just more that's blank lol & kinda a mystery of Up To Interpretation.....i figured one way to have any structure for this at all is to have a part looking at each winston involving episode's info. well anyways, after this meandering intro that kind of illustrates how i'm sure the rest of things will go here lol, i'm just gonna throw a bunch of stuff down in general. thanks again for the prompt to do so, b/c why not

really the one concrete discrete idea i have which isn't in the canon text is, of course: he is autistic

does he Know? idk. either way, think he's pretty aware of how he operates (& how he Can't operate), but if he doesn't know that's probably more for the "also: he's self loathing, which was basically textually implied" stuff lol. just mentioned it but i do always enjoy the tayston idea that taylor's talking abt in the past having it floated by a therapist/s or whomever that they could be autistic, them considering it but it not applying; winston going "hmm" & doing his own considering & researching & then maybe exclusively sharing the news w/taylor....but of course, maybe he's figured it out himself at some point before. i do think he'd figure it out himself though rather than anyone else directly suggesting it (maybe out here being diagnosed with "just the guy who sucks who we don't like / won't act right or normal" sort of usual experience) & i think, if he knows, he's not about to want ppl at work to know, b/c not as though anyone (but taylor & other quants) particularly seems to be impressed by his quanting proficiency, but he sure gets some validation/affirmation through that route (more re: that of course) and knows that ppl going "oh he's autistic so of course he's better at Doing Math / computer stuff as a like, mechanical efficiency sort of thing" or whatever. and the fact that taylor can interact with him / gives him some leeway to generally do his thing means he's kind of already got space to operate how he operates, see the start of this section....and idk. transitioning into the next section ig

just an Interpretation Of Canon thing here but, re: how these characters generally operate & what their reason is for being around doing stuff in the first place, i guess it's that winston does genuinely like to do & is interested in the math/coding stuff involved here, was also genuinely interested in working for taylor specifically (whatever The Hype specifically was), then you have taylor having the "despite your demeanor, your skills are superior" stance & appreciating what he can do & letting him do it by hiring him for real & all, & here we are, Q is for Quantitative, baby......he must find it rewarding enough to be getting to do this quanting stuff and also, the potential for validation when anyone recognizes he's good at it & by extension finds something about him good & wants him around to any degree

okay just that Episode By Episode stuff for a section here

3x03:

kinda extra room for interpretation b/c this was written as a one off character and reintroducing him in 3x09, written to be recurring, feels like it kinda offers a Soft Reboot for what we got here, where i guess how i take things is that we can suppose in both 3x03 & 3x09 winston's putting on a deliberate Performance to some degree based on what he thinks the potential employer wants to see, but it's also not completely fake / inaccurate either time, & like, maybe the 3x03 vibe wasn't a type of performance he'd only just ever put on for this axe cap interview, & even if it was deliberately bold maybe he was sort of thinking he Could bank on his value as a quant meaning he holds most of the cards (or can get away with acting like it)

building on that & as a More General point of interpretation again: think it's easy to suppose winston could've had an existence w/many elements of frustrations & disappointments & Rejection, but where like, he did figure out these areas of interest & proficiency that seemed to be a more positive force in his life, & leaned into them / focused on them further for it, & i could see him focusing on milestones / graduating from one thing to the next & conceptualizing like, well, if i just get to This point by working on This thing then i'll have it together & be able to move through existence more successfully, like, there's winston going into undergrad & kind of disappointed he's not having that good a time socially / feels like he's missing out / being left out still, but he can be like, well that's fine (: i'm totally fine abt it b/c i'm focusing on the Education & Experience here & when i'm entering the job market as an amazing quant anyone would want to hire then ppl will be seeing me in a positive light & things will fall into place / go great for me / i'll feel like i fit in & am doing things right within some structure. & i think maybe he Did have all those other job offers / opportunities & he was at least partly feeling a bit "objectively" confident, & also maybe just hoping he Could be that confident & that, you know, if he goes ahead & acts like that's the case, it could be confirmed / become true....anyways then obviously disillusionment time

since his outfits are introduced here: more "just how i'm interpreting canon" stuff in that i do just suppose he is mostly focusing on comfort & it'd kinda get in the way of things if he couldn't. flipflops might've been a statement piece but also i figure at least in part about the comfort / lack of much opportunity for restriction or ill fit or chafing texture or anything, same goes re: pants & shirts. interesting he likes to wear the patterned layers but doesn't really wear like, stripes or plaid ever. plus it could well be that Just A Tee is too informal unless you're the formalest of all by virtue of position, i.e. the ceo, but also we sure often enough see him wearing hoodies &/or multiple layers, like, maybe that's just for warmth or weight or what have you, always considering "what if it's about being self conchy as well (different way of saying self conscious)"

3x09:

so yeah with winston not having taken another job (at least maybe only like, temporary ones as these self contained gigs / just something to pay the bills) figure it's been a Depressive Period for him here lol & deliberately going on a journey of like self reflection / examination & going "haha yeah hated what i saw" is like, i don't think the self loathing is anything new, the confidence in 3x03 kind of an optimistic bandaid lol like well here's the new me as i understand / hypothesize / hope he could be, totally confident in being backed up by how valuable he is as a quant, then taylor kind of ripped that off and wound's open again but that wound was also not brand new or something he was unaware of / that didn't affect him before now

re: math meetup, i can see that being him presenting more evidence of his talent as a quant but also specifically going "see, i do this collaborative thing" to present this more conciliatory and cooperative approach to taylor, & am also taking it as evidence that he really does Enjoy math / coding stuff beyond it simply being a means to a professional end. i also like to think he has been / continues going to math meetup regularly, at least once a month, maybe every other week, and that it's this semi social event, like the relevant irl group you found back in the day that like, meets up for pizza before and drinks afterwards. i also like to think that, like, while he might come off as A Bit Much during said math meetup / just speak up frequently enough and often enough with some insistence lol, people Are there to meet up about the math and his contributions Are valued despite if his delivery/approach isn't always endearing or whatever. and even if he's not really popular / warmly embraced in the more [socializing event] bookends of the meetup, he's perfectly tolerated, and there's even a person or two or three (also regular attendees) who do vibe with him enough to like, invite / even want him to sit with them / talk with them outside that Math Setting. math meetup pals, maybe he doesn't meet up with these people outside these events but maybe they have each other's contacts and sometimes text. not these intimate personal relationships, but still something real and positive and refreshing. it'd be nice if math meetup could kinda be like what he hoped for from quanting, this way his math lets him "qualify" to access this group / activity, his aptitude "making up for" perceived lack of interpersonal / social charm & charisma & what have you, & having some reliably friendly people around even if of course that's not on its own going to mean he's totally socially fulfilled / not often lonely or anything. hc: he's often lonely & not totally socially fulfilled

he does, of course, want to work for taylor specifically, as long as they want him to, and this is sort of his second chance to find validation through working as a quant lol. think that yeah sure winston likes validation in general, who doesn't but also of course he's maybe a bit Above Average sensitive to / keen on it, but he'll also care about Affirmation if it's coming from people whose opinion he particularly values. think that it's easy to suppose he's also especially sensitive to taylor's assessments here thanks to the fact they really hit a (raw) nerve with him like, sure is the potential to get caught up in feedback loop city & say, have a few months mired in self loathing & an especial lack of certainty & confidence, if someone's kinda gone "i hate your self hatred" lol, but he also Did have this especial interest in / high opinion of taylor before that 3x03 interview, & so that's what continues to be part of it here

but then also interpreting that second 3x09 scene as like, he Does independently Know His Value as a quant and yknow not only has his pride but also can't and isn't going to first and foremost focus on trying to socially perform being peak Accommodating and Appealing here lol. but he still cares about what taylor thinks, wants to work for/with them, and i think it was Mutually Appreciated in the last scene that there was Mutual Effort to cooperate w/the other, giving him a Cue instead of just being mad & obfuscating it unless & until giving up on him completely or w/e is Constructive. interpreting winston as someone who sure can be a bit petty on purpose, especially in the face of some wounded pride (where he seems to take pride in his quant abilities & maybe not much of anything else: see the self loathing otherwise), but isn't really one to be deliberately antagonistic, especially not towards, yknow, the person he specifically wants to appeal to, but he also knows he can come off as grating whether inadvertently or not, so he might be testing the waters a little as well

3x11

he's using headphones even though no one else is in the room, that's a preference / he may also just like to block out other sound in general, as there's no audio of [winston's music faintly playing as / before he takes off his headphones] or indication he paused anything. does he like metal, what with the yngwie malmsteen reference? maybe, but that might just be a Billions Reference thing that isn't meant to indicate much / anything abt the specific character. i don't have any hcs about it anyways besides "okay" if so

first time we see his watch, it's not the calculator watch until s5 but i am a fan of said calc watch....gotta suppose it could represent him being here for the math of it all, what with how fancy/expensive watches are kinda the whole like status / power play thing, and a calculator watch is, afaik, not expensive, these casio calculator watch listings i'm seeing are all priced like, $15 to $25 range. so.

2nd scene is the first time we see sleeves pushed up, a frequent choice, maybe if he's focusing sleeves against forearms / Wrists & Hands can be bothersome. also not the first time he puts his hands in his pockets but i think that's a deliberate choice for winston's sort of Default Pose, equate it to the choice to have jared hang / hold on to his backpack straps.

guess he can also be a bit petty / rude / grating on purpose if ppl are getting in the way of his mathing / coding or otherwise thwarting it, at least probably taylor can relate / sympathize what with them wanting to Get It Right / being bothered if people get it wrong but could've avoided this

noticing all the caffeine and the fact he maybe didn't leave the basement / was powering through that project All At Once....just noting that down as a potential Approach, wanting to not interrupt focus &/or bear down & keep a fairly intense pace until it's finished / stay in the zone or what have you

definitely doing some deliberately cocky Testing / pushing back / amicable power struggle with taylor there, confirming he does have leverage due to that quanting ability after all, Despite His Demeanor / not being "sweet"

by this point definitely consciously kinda wants taylor to rail him.

4x03

i have no concrete hc's of instances inspiring winston to think he's "always seeing the future" but god i wish he did. he's right a lot though, maybe he just notices as much lol

talking mostly to taylor here, then concluding with "i only thought it but didn't say it; doesn't count....damnit." like he wants Their validation thanks, even if recognizing his Win here still wouldn't help them either way....also first time we see him w/coworkers for real, he's really freely Interacting.....time to go ahead and say he'd like to be work friends / at least have friendly interactions at work, might be a bit desperate for such positive social interactions, especially in this environment where he thinks the "objectively" good thing about him is most relevant, but it's cringe & fail (&/or vulnerable to Attack) to outright Want something, like validation / affirmation / a positive response or a simple "yeah you're right" "positive" response

first Space Shirt, followed by ones that are like, also &/Or Sci Fi Shirts. does he like space? i guess so

he's autistic

4x08

here & in 4x11, we don't know how he's gotten this info about taylor re: the arc w/their dad or with axe cap, but he's apparently mused on it on his own like this & isn't just quoting what someone else told him about how taylor must feel about xyz & how that might apply to the situations at hand, even though (unless he cassandra'd it) he wouldn't've had that much cause to suppose it'd definitely be relevant to have ideas about how taylor feels / is navigating a situation & why, maybe he just likes to be prepared like that / stay in the loop but yknow, maybe he's just also interested in them as a person beyond what's most immediately relevant to him doing quant stuff for them

he's already done the sort of kicking himself / wincing / apologizing or agreeing he fucked up an exchange thing before but, the genuine disappointment / momentary discouragement in it always lol....self loathing guy

love how he has these little like, clarifying explanations of things. "total control of the instrument," "always seeing the future," "because i win".....he's out here wanting to communicate to connect & to be understood, not so much as a potential for a power play / status climb and thus a conflict.....can see ppl who are used to / Do see interactions in that light to interpret winston yelling about having won as a like, rubbing it in people's faces show of superiority thing, but pretty sure he's just excited and wants a high five

4x11

having talked about the fact none of the desks in the tmc hq main floor seem to be winston's (& knowing that Could just be wroland not being reliably available to be in the bg of shots lol, analyzing s4 shots for some Consistently Empty desk) but it is fun to also consider that maybe tmc Could've had a secret extension in that that quant haunt in the basement was kept. a little more furnishing and it could be pretty chill, even though the lack of windows might not always be ideal. where's he sit!

also the whole "guy who'd be the first one smothered" moment like, guess i could've mentioned it in 3x03 more but yeah my Headcanon here is that winston maybe has a master's degree, not a phd though (him saying "50 phds" in 3x11 i think was meant to differentiate from him on both points, aka he's 1 guy, without a phd) & this is his first "real" job in any field. b/c i'm guessing like, people are here to get Paid, but as mentioned w/the watch (& just how winston acts in general, he doesn't really seem like he's raring to show off / really take advantage of having money or anything) it doesn't seem like he's, like, the "exceptionally focusing on personally making as much as possible" guy, and lauren's remark seems to emphasize / place the context on winston just not having like, savings from prior salaried years at a job or anything, more of a practical matter, maybe he's out here hoping for some more financial security, also they are all living in nyc, so. on that note, maybe he has an okay apartment but like, not without problems / not absolutely ideal, but it's okay. this would just be Convenient as an hc also lol

don't think the monologue was completely memorized, but it wasn't completely off the cuff either, he'd maybe been brainstorming scripts in his head / had some particular parts solidified word for word, but also hardly think he was guaranteed planning to deliver an admonishlogue at all, seems like it was some important factors that he was just kind of already irritated, nobody was listening / people Were social pressuring him to drop it or not interested in entertaining like "yeah i think you should talk to taylor about it" at all, think it was clear that talking to others was only going to lead to them telling him to drop it / trying to not have anyone say anything to taylor, and then that taylor just jumped in, which i hardly think he was hoping for

always Something that we can expressly see winston moving to sit down in that soon to be empty meeting room as everyone else is clearly filing out lol, like, can see how he might not be able to go "well, back to work" immediately and need some irritation / feeling like shit / guess who just got yeeellllllllllled aaaaaat to burn off, might need some time to absorb "well i guess i just deferred so no bonus as was probably expected," but can also suppose that maybe when winston gets majorly Shut Down he has shutdowns. saying all of four words in the wake of things, otherwise the fact he has this approach of tensing up, not talking at all, kind of just holding onto eye contact as his last way of "properly" participating in the exchange w/o bailing entirely, while also outwardly withering, like clearly these kinds of moments are pretty significantly affecting....feels like he could find it difficult to talk much, or at all, in the wake of some / need some time to recuperate a bit & have some distance & quiet & not just jump back into work like he's having a fine and normal time. sometimes pondering like, not only those notions like taylor insisting winston not be Interrupted when he hasn't technically started talking yet (giving him the buffering / latency time) but also like, fun kinda imagining them sitting across from each other having a texting conversation....or times winston would rather have an exchange via email......or make use of the sticky notes......or just have taylor talking to him and picking up on his nonverbal responses

winston's very Not present in tmc meetups / get togethers this season & again we know that this could be because his actor wasn't very available but it's still the case In Canon that there's only so many tmcers and they're all seeing each other outside work / market hours for varyingly formal or informal purposes & he's never included. & simultaneously hold the hc's that he could be choosing not to go or he could just never be invited in the first place l o l.....in either of these situations the reason for declining to go or being excluded could be up to "b/c other ppl don't like having him around" and idk, best case scenario is he doesn't want to go for some other reason, but he acts pretty okay with the All Hands meetups we do see / when in meetings with the other named employees he's pretty raring to interact with them, so :/

4x12

i do like to think it's fun to imagine What If Taylor Had A Phonecall With Winston Before This Monologue; someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure, i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart.....just them both having a more sympathetic approach with each other and a sort of dialed back reconciliation, tbt 3x09, without an audience / roomful of other people

do think that his wearing a tmc logo tee into axe cap hq was a deliberate Statement Piece, like wearing flipflops into axe cap in his true first time being there lol

first time we see the backpack, & the headphones (in this season), like the point you (nothingunrealistic) made about the backpack possibly kind of exerting pressure / compression in a Sensory Way. let's see it again

as good a time as any to bring up how it's such a consistent pattern that it Must be a choice that winston smiles in this direction :/ and grimaces / winces / frowns this way :\ but a choice of the actor of course, was it ever a conscious thing on winston's end, would not put it beyond the realm of possibility he's ever consciously thought of stuff like "even if words fail me(tm) i Gotta hang on to eye contact".....i'm thinking of times he is smiling hard enough that you just gotta do it more symmetrically, like here in 4x12

5x01

he likes bagels

think that this could've been another case of "people who are used to interactions used for conflict / power plays / stepping on other people to status climb (axe cappers in general, maybe team ben having to be extra prone to be on the lookout for these strategies when they're more often on the receiving end of them) misinterpreting winston socializing as means of connection (wanting to talk about the common work thread / interest with coworkers)"

even if for some reason quants were cold shouldering axe cappers like, a sound strategy even if team ben are worthy exceptions. Winston Can Get Petty When People Blame Quants Talking About Being Quants For Axe Cappers Harassing Tmc & also when in the process of doing so everyone's like "also you're smarter than us but no you're not, any math quants could do fundamental analysts could do better" like, winston getting more deliberately antagonistic when ppl are going after his Math Aptitude / value as a quant when that's his "objective" point of pride & confidence & possibly like haha self loathing can't get me here

5x02

winston's decimal points being more precise here i think indicates that the show is not taking the stance of "yeah the quants are just any old analysts with an attitude of superiority" lol

do think he selected that particular seating placement b/c it's like, hey furthest away from axe cap, most aligned with taylor's desk & angled towards it, perfect.....what a letdown

guess this episode suggests he and mafee have chats sometimes, and winston maybe confides At All Sensitive Info w/the guy? bold

always just smh like well thank god we were given this subplot where winston was a plot device really for dollar bill's arc or whatever............what a gift

5x03

just noticing as always how winston is the one person saying they should go for it vs the other two's skepticism / trepidation, and taylor decides to go for it.....they do value his input / trust his judgment

i am also noticing how often winston, as the math guy who doesn't really fit in w/ the whole axe / caply approach & style, has this role in giving taylor these crucial opportunities to pursue their own direction rather than be mired down in the misery of axe cap determining everything....3x11 & his algorithm letting them break completely away from axe cap, 4x11 & his admonishlogue making some Points & then next episode taylor does decide to abandon the revenge jag & says they were wrong & they're sorry....5x03 & this nlp strategy plotline being the first thing taylor could actively pursue for tmc after 2 eps of being dragged painfully through axe cap nonsense, & the fact this, in the next episode, leads to the Impact Fund idea / mase carb

5x04

see that last point

5x05

guess that until confirmed, The Glances being significant is a Headcanon Interpretation lol. anyways i do like taylor giving him these discreet, nonverbal cues as a very deliberate method of communication titrated betwixt them

oh right and an Age Cue here, before that was nailed down i think i already hc'd winston as either the same age as, or a year older than taylor, and that's still true lol, think that's how it goes with the timelines (taylor's being kinda uncertain, and winston's as well, having prior just kinda gone "well if taylor's 22 when they show up as the typical post undergrad age, and each season spans approx a year, and maybe winston spent just a year or two post undergrad getting a master's b/c nothing nails down how long it would take & he could've kinda been ahead of the curve as it were, he could be, say, 23 thru 25 in s3 when he shows up, to taylor's Maybe 23" as the Idea)

just wants to work for taylor as long as they'll have him, but would also like to be openly valued / affirmed on a pretty basic level lol...

one of those matters that's like, i do think that this is what the material is Trying to convey but it's not concrete / explicit, in that i think winston somewhat Likes rian right off lol like. i mean he's also still annoyed on principle, this is maybe his replacement & that stings that it's even a possibility & of course he has reason to want to feel like "oh well this person Clearly sucks" lol, but then there he is trying to scope out the situation & get immediate intel & it's like, here's this fellow 20something you immediately think is pretty (the mental comparison to an A lister as a dunk, lmao) & you see her being perfectly friendly with your nice coworker you're also friendly enough with, that's one degree of separation, now here he comes talking about how cool & epic & smart & capable she is, again makes sense he's still first & foremost bothered by the situation & has cause to just be more jealous about how well everyone immediately thinks of her (see: winston making bad first impressions that may never be undone, the fact other coworkers were probably never going around openly impressed with / praising him after meeting him for 5 sec, or like, ever) but i suppose this immediate underlying sense of attraction / affinity hits in that First Sighting as well

love that we see the feet up on the desk show of confidence again, very funny & glad it's back.....a tool in his arsenal for when he's Very Bothered But (unsuccessfully) Acting Very Unbothered / when he's trying to pitch for his employment lol

when did he have a first gf? perfect time for an hc.....feels like it'd have been like, idk, older high schoolers at the youngest, that kind of emotional commentary....or in college. sometimes pondering the idea like, what if he had a bf first actually.....or not, & Feeling A Way around other guys sometimes like, hmm guess i think this guy is pretty cool &/or i'm kinda like "god i wish that were me" about, then some more noticeable Tension as he's older even if he can't really discern the reason b/c this person's pretty nice & cool actually, hmm. then one day you're doing hw together with a while for code to compile & Oh Hey Lol

meanwhile think clearly rian defuses the Reason For Rivalry (and also clearly immediately likes him / interacting with him & you know, outright sticks up for him & in this significant way) & then when they connect over Math it's all coming together very outright like Oh Hey Lol 😳

also he Gets Right Back To Work easily enough, & like, i think already there's a deliberate performance of "i'm now totally unbothered," but he's just pretty good at shaking things off apparently. & he kind of has to be, to not bail completely or else tamp down his own personality / avoid interactions, but you know. plus that like, he may get irritated when his pride's wounded but around here people can have a whole crisis & arc about it if their egos are bruised in the slightest, so like. pretty blasé

5x06

this isn't really any hc or Interpretation by any stretch but this is the first time we've seen winston pull that particular attitude in that second scene with rian and it's beautiful.....if something's bothering him he's so often like outright indignant but this is like, i'm Bothered but i'm being so dignant about it, for like 4 sec

also the bright green hoodie / bright, high contrast, geometric blockbuster tee is so Vivid but like, always noting how he wears relatively colorful outfits. fun to go "maybe this one's deliberately extra eye catching b/c of this new crush" lol

5x07

the difficulty in reading that much into things when the lack of sobriety could be making any & everything an outlier, & can't even really read into "apparently down to take stimulants (beyond caffeine) on a dime" b/c well, so is everyone else, so that this situation can unfold, we knew he had a crush on rian (or i guess we didn't, but this is pretty direct about it), we knew he likes validation, taylor Knows him well enough that it's not just like "oh he's acting weird? well that's winston for you" to them, which we also knew but it's fun to confirm further lol

and now for some more free floating / general concepts

family? i have no idea. feel like he either has no siblings or several but yknow, anything's possible. we know what he's like Now, don't think he got that solid self esteem / self confidence as an emergent quality from [everything that happened to him before 3x03] & don't suppose he has this like, rock solid close warm familial relationship of understanding & unconditional love & support w/whoever he grew up with, parents or siblings or whoever he lived with....like, the relationship/s could be Fine but you know, still not all that close

i don't think he was every completely friendless (or if he was, it didn't last Too long) in terms of like, throughout school maybe he had some pals, no amazing close [fingers crossed Like That] ones where someone had like, grown up as his next door bestie and they did everything together & knew everything about each other, nothing all that close, but he had people to sit with at lunch or what have you, even if at times like, the table nobody else really sits at but the people who don't have anywhere else to sit lmao. maybe some slightly closer friendships here & there, but people often kind of got subsumed into other friend groups that he wasn't otherwise a part of / otherwise just kind of gradually distanced again...but also possible he had perfectly amicable occasions of like, maybe only having a class or two with certain people, not striking up intimate friendships but hitting it off well enough.........like, winston's out here Not having been stomped down into suppressing his personality all the time, he's still fairly earnest & forthcoming & eager to connect, just sort of vaguely going for "he maybe have always had this element of discouragement & disappointment re: socializing / connecting / forming relationships / sometimes just being accepted on a basic level, but he also didn't have his spirit totally extinguished either" although there's also the room for stuff like, yknow, him Holding Out Hope like "well nobody likes me now / i'm unhappy but maybe once i'm in college [gets to college & still isn't having a great time] okay well once i Enter The Workforce" lol. you know

but it's also like, hardly think he's Only Just Now experiencing the [winston: ___ everyone: get his ass] type stuff & pushback & punishment & disdain over not really doing anything but people hate his style & vibe, & feel like there's also still room for like, yep wow got burned sometimes / having had some pretty negative experiences......we do have to end up in this place where, you know, 3x03 happens and he doesn't just go "guess finance isn't for me!" & dust himself off & go get some Guarantees from some tech firms, & instead he's Really Glad [Taylor] Called & hasn't taken some other more desired job between 3x03 & that call & is immediately like "good news: i do hate myself" so like, can't see him having just thrived his way to this point....evidently not all dating relationships have been just epic highs & victories, maybe he has those math meetup pals now & maybe idk there's other people he's in sort of in contact with, maybe people from college / grad school or the like, still not that close, figure he's generally been lonely like, overall, despite regularly enough seeking out / striving for connections

oh yeah speaking of, the idea that he has a cat maybe lol, in part simply for company, a little guy that lives in your house / apartment....but also maybe he doesn't

always just some general notions like, also idk maybe he engages in hobbies, talks to people through that just like with math meetup....talked about the Embroidery idea, got that computers/programming connection, was thinking like, idk fuck it amateur photography, develop your own film, maybe he took a class in college or high school or something, same with like, maybe he plays a musical instrument, said "the cello, why not" about that as an early [shrug] idea lol. he does like space, maybe he does Anything with that....rip to any astronomy clubs In Nyc like, guess you're not seeing shit, but. 4x11 au, after deferring his bonus he goes to some cool cinematographic celestial occasion like taylor & the sea glass fish carousel lmao. taylor catches up & they have their [i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart] exchange lol.....except also not, b/c you wouldn't really want to have Parallels with m/any moments ft. wendy & taylor :/

recalled like a particularly casual / throwaway idea about like "lol what if he was somewhat thalassophobic" in part b/c once actor william dropped that lore abt himself in an interview, but. could have somewhat some other phobia/s. or not really any! what a world

maybe sometimes he's out here like, single & ready to Fuck like, focusing on just hooking up w/people sometimes rather than really looking to date at the juncture, although it could both be true like, he'd Like to be dating but also doesn't really currently want to do all the Putting Himself Out There & such of seeking it out / trying to consciously navigate it, but sometimes it's more manageable like, just wanting to have sex. looking out for himself when he can & how he can lol

speaking of, some vague sexy hcs

gets pegged

especial fan of Tongue Against Tongue texture, enjoys some Grounding elements to avoid being overwhelmed / narrow things to the more relevant sensory input at hand, like the weight/pressure of a partner leaning / lying against him / holding him tightly, if he's overwhelmed in a good way / kinda got some sensory overflow in a good way he might cry during sex In A Good Way lol, took some time maybe in his Personal Sexual Experience to figure out some general differences in "what he doesn't like at all" or "what's off the table / too unpleasant for him at some times but Not necessarily at all times & might be completely enjoyable sometimes," like, am i willing to perform oral sex, am i willing & Enthusiastically so, is that way too much actually, it can be all of them at varying times....maybe in more everyday general situations he refrains from stims in front of others unless stressed enough, but while having sex with someone especially if at all nervous it's like, there can be this transition between repressing stims & being more unfiltered / uninhibited where they kind of build up & then come through in kicks only to be reined back in, either like, he simply does go for a more reined in approach the whole time or anyone else is willing to ride this out with him / he kind of has the time & space to figure out more of a flow, in which case he might still stim but you know, not as though people aren't used to stims in this situation, i.e. reacting to stimulation with movement & vocalization is at least expected & it could once again be like "well he's a bit weird with it but hey" lol or you know, not that some partners can't be understanding or have had experience w/similar partners. hardly make or break but this can be a vulnerable interaction here / hard to shake the self consciousness & sense of "i Do have to filter myself and act The Right Way" all at once just b/c you'd want to

hey and let him sing karaoke or something lmao, winston is as Dramatic as he is, he would give a performance. work in a way to let everyone who sings sing around lol, could throw in some Affectations so that it's like yeah winston can sing without having to be like "wow winston, when'd you become a trained broadway performer" lmao. imagine. which reminds me of the time will joked about like, oh yeah winston Gets That A Lot re: people recognizing he looks like the guy in deh, aka will roland....the limitations of "this is set in real nyc" including occasional references to recent / popular shows, fuck it maybe will roland does also exist in the billions universe. well anyways it would be fun. the karaoke anyways, and that he'd give a top tier Performance whether or not people are first and foremost enjoying his technical / artistic skill at the art of singing, it'd at least be personality infused and engaging

taking it way back to the ideas about winston's social misadventures in general, i'm sometimes considering for fics i never end up writing if he might have some like, misgivings / anxieties about like, is this person i Like acting like they maybe Like me back as some kind of elaborate joke, & maybe the caution comes from experience like you know, classic over the line "pranks" like asked out As A Joke, kissed As A Dare that he wasn't aware of, think there could be like, would be Friendship / friendly acquaintanceship experiences in there where such "pranks" / "jokes" / "messing with him" (and not in a good way) could happen, or even just you know, more Spontaneously, don't even know this person & he's treated as a joke for other ppl's entertainment, realizing at the time or retrospectively like oh maybe i was more being bullied then having any positive social interaction / getting to feel at least "included" or what have you, like, the idea of getting to hang out with a group as The Funny Guy, but he's had these experiences getting to hang out with a group & realize it's b/c they thought he was funny / Amusing in a laughing At him, not with him way, which is easy also b/c winston isn't really out here trying to be funny that we've seen lol. only realizing he was still being excluded after some time / distance from the situation, or escalating open hostility / just more blatant meanness / over the line shit from some people, maybe some stuff that just immediately feels shitty but he figured was just like, well idk, maybe that's normal & still friendly, maybe it also felt more outright embarrassing / demeaning at the time but it's like haha yeah you got me :'] at the time just to save any face lol.....possible unexpected / spontaneous amicability in his socializing history, but also shittiness, whether it's coming at him all at once or he's kind of holding out hope like, well, i just keep at it / have a Friendly attitude here and surely i'll make friends b/c if people didn't like me At All why are they talking to me / letting me be here at all.....

always kind of pondering Fashion Variation, we haven't seen it but it could be possible, musing on "what would he think Looks Good On Him / how does he feel capable of like, dressing for romantic success or what have you lol" like, was the vivid 5x06 outfit anything, cue the drawing like, a bralette & short shorts is shaking it up and could be a Felt Cute outfit and could also be comfortable enough....not always That much room in men's(tm) fashion before you start having to be aware of [Gender] and dunno that winston out here has had the inspiration / motivation / opportunity to consider / try out / explore but hey. what are we here for

just remembered that post like "uhh i just saw a guy crying in the library & then his phone alarm went off & he stopped crying, opened his laptop & started typing / it's called time management" lmao like winston's not out here having the Most amazing time, he could have such Time Management experiences of like, letting it out some on purpose but then reining it right back in, and/or just like some spontaneous paroxysms of crying for a minute or two more unexpectedly in a "do you ever [experience a tiny inconvenience] & realize the thread by which you're hanging on is quite thin" way or otherwise, you know, oops experienced this frustration & now i'm crying over it, or idk, just feeling a bit more vulnerable for whatever reason & something has unexpectedly plucked some emotional string attached to another string attached to another & the resonance = i'm crying now ig. he can't be Thriving out here & i don't think he's all about having such a stranglehold on emotions that he's like oh tf i Never cry (aside from having sex, in a good way)

although speaking of like, emotional repression, maybe he's out here just "good at" compartmentalizing some experiences lol in that "well anyways, back to work" way & stuff like, sure he knew he was risking it in 4x11 but it also did not seem to affect his dynamic with mafee at all lmao like wow.....

think that him not really having anything on his work desk is a choice / preference but also am not sure that that really applies to anything else lmao. what if he had a little plant. that'd be funny

oh yeah and the idea that winston might literally have like prophetic dreams & they're just kind of a nuisance to him but sometimes they can be plot devices in fics (that don't exist) about him kissing people

well i'm just calling it a night there lol but like, it always feels Lacking writing out hc's like, plenty of ideas but also hardly any, and yet the fact that other individual ideas are so Vague / casual that it wouldn't be like "oh i gotta share this via post or manifesting it some other way" so then it feels like, oh no, if i don't list absolutely Everything on something that's specifically a list of hc's, i can never talk about whatever gets left out......and just that like, i ought to have a bunch of really specific, concrete, unique Factoids about winston here to be of any interest but hey lmao. that hypothetical set of concepts is never gonna happen, & the Ultimate Comprehensive List Of Everything I've Ever Pondered Re: Winston is also going to be difficult lmfao (not as though that's what you've asked in the first place) but you know, we took a swing at things here & covered some ground & the thinking about & talking about winston never ends, & this isn't really a post meant to have broad appeal / if you're not already having fun reading vague musings about the quant then i'm sorry you're reading this after having read all that and gone "wow, i'm disappointed" lmao but hey, weird choices made to bring you to this point......also god knows plenty of hcs are more filed away under specific like [Tayston], [Benston], [Riawin] sort of things (lol, [Mafon]) b/c on the one hand, i find it easier to kind of think in Scenarios and the details particular to the "scenes" therein, but i am also not good at thinking of those scenarios! out here operating on vibes, he's autistic and wants to kiss taylor (also now rian but that's kinda right in canon, not just my head) and that's really the crucial info here

[cloudyfm]

hi everyone it’s me<3 i’m actually ahead of the game for once with intros so .... ur welcome ig idk. anyways i’ve put a shortish bio, personality, n some stats under the cut muah. also yeah that is a catboy gif i thought it was fitting and no i will not be taking criticism at this time.

BIOGRAPHY:

- thank you for joining my tedtalk to talk about the resident tyler posey of this rp<33 yes he is an actor, yes he is cringey. we all have our flaws.

- he was born in los angeles to 2 legacy parents - they had money, influence, and basically could get anything they wanted within the city. they both were also already involved in the film/media industry but were never super in the spotlight - his mom was a young actress but stopped when elijah was born, his dad was a director and continued his career afterwards...sooo yah his family is known n talked about

- his parents also were like . not good people to put it plainly. they were great to him and caring but it was not a happy marriage and led to multiple affairs, money struggles between the two of them (not with him, it was more so that if his family wanted to get a divorce, etc etc) - he still doesn’t know any of this<333

- basically when he was around 7 years old, they kind of picked a career path for him and it was mostly to get him disconnected from the family if any of the behind the doors problems came out. they used their connections to basically ensure that he was able to start a career in film and television at a young age so he would be set and it’s not like he minded. he grew up around this stuff it’s kind of all he knew

- he was sent to live with his aunt and uncle after his parents set him up, thought it would be easier if he was entirely disconnected from the family and its name so they kind of just .... disappeared. they knew that if the affairs and money struggles and basically all the problems they had made it public it would make it impossible for him to disappear and focus on himself so they did it for him. he still doesn’t know why his parents sent him off so his aunt n uncle (both of which he is very close w and loves dearly<3) kind of just made up a lie saying his parents had an accident and because he was so young he never questioned or asked for details. like he thought this entire staying w them stuff would be temporary but nope !

- literally i am saying his parents risked their own careers and lives for him like i am telling u his family were not bad people he just does not know that they literally did this to him to avoid their own problems getting out into the public (aka blackmail 1)

- but yeah from there ... his career just kind of took off from the connections in the industry he was given. like no offense n i hate aye for saying this but yeah he probably started on barney KFNLKSNLKSDNKSDF u know like most kid actors do<33 and then as he got older like. im sorry he cannot play serious roles but he probably did films that were coming of age type stories that were geared towards teenagers and young adults (think love simon, booksmart, that gist). we are also assuming in this universe that ppl actually are the same age as the characters they play ... yeah .

- when he was 18 he was really stupid (blackmail 2) and slept with a casting director for a role because he knew that someone else would have gotten the job if he didn’t. it was reckless and stupid and it actually got him in trouble but only with his family. his aunt n uncle found out and basically told him that if he didn’t go to school n fix his shit then he would have to stop working completely. he didn’t have much of a choice in where to go to college considering his parents were legacies so he just did as he was told

- he literally doesn’t wanna be there like he is the embodiment of ‘ i will now be causing a problem ‘

- but yeah ............. that’s all i got for now may remember more later KLNDFLKSNLKDSF

PERSONALITY:

- i mean he has a sag sun/aries moon which u can read about here that should frankly say enough

- but has the extreme problem of not thinking about the consequences of his actions - literally lives day by day rather than thinking about the future or the past which can really cause problems with his relationships

- a glass half full type of guy<3 

- he generally has a huge problem with not taking things seriously - like if a problem comes up he will take it as nothing or just assume it’s not as big as it is just because he literally doesn’t see the point in stressing about it

- he is literally a himbo

- like he may not be stupid academically but he just doesn’t care for school and only ended up going because he was forced to by his aunt and uncle. he IS however stupid in every other aspect of his life KLNDFKSNSDFKL whether it be friendships, relationships, whatever he has a severe commitment problem and will basically just stick with what he feels like is a good time in that moment

- however when he is loyal, he is LOYAL. if a friendship or bond becomes deep enough he will be in it for the long haul and considering his personality it’s not super hard for someone to reach that level - he’s not overly trusting but he just doesn’t read into people as much as he should

- will make a joke about everything so i am sorry in advance for that<3 he just loves to have fun he can’t help who he is<3333333

- he isn’t a huge partier ... i mean he will if there is one but it’s not like he’s prone to scandal after scandal he kind of just does what he wants and if he gets caught well then that is a problem huh

- more tbd but that’s it for now ig .....

STATISTICS:

- full name: elijah cho.

- nicknames: i mean eli is fine ... he literally doesn’t care.

- age: 22.

- date of birth: december 10, 1997.

- birthplace: los angeles, california, united states.

- current location: new haven, connecticut, united states.

- astrological sign: sagittarius sun/aries moon. 

- gender: cis male.

- pronouns: he/him/his

height: 5′11″.

- sexuality: bisexual.

- religion: agnostic, raised catholic.

- piercings: helix on his left ear, he had a nose ring for a couple of months when he was 19 but it fell out while he was sleeping and closed up :\

- tattoos: literally has the dumbest tattoos like i don’t even have the energy to find pictures. like random things he got when bored. probably has a smiley face on his finger - stuff like that.

- haircolor: peachy blonde like this.

- misc: has a calico cat named chewie (she’s 3) - loves her with his entire life so ellie if u see this she may come to meetings<3

[destinyc1020]

Can I ask who do you think dumped who on the JE break up? because I wasn’t around during that time and I read here that Jacob was acting salty in some interviews so I’m wondering what did he say and what’s your theory? I’m curious

Well since we don’t have an “insider” spilling any tea, all we can do is SPECULATE and go by little clues here and there. 

I honestly don’t know who broke up w/whom in the Jacdaya relationship.  But based on the stats that women tend to initiate breakups more than men, and based on minor clues and the fact that he was seeming a tad “salty” in interviews during the summer.... It all leads me to strongly lean to Z being the initiator of the breakup.  

Overall, I've always kind of felt that the person who is the most salty, is PROBABLY usually the one who was dumped, and not the dumper. But of course, there are exceptions to every rule.

Small Clues: 

His flippant way about talking about leaving LA in his GQ Australia interview didn’t lead me to believe that he had a gf still back in LA tbh...  He didn’t even seem like he was torn about leaving the US to go to Australia due to the pandemic.  He just seemed kind of flippant (imo).  

SOURCE: GQ Australia Interview | Jacob Elordi 

Idk... To me it just seemed like kind of a very cold way to talk about LA (where your gf lives) and leaving someone you love during a pandemic. 🤷

He also did a lot of interviews during the summer for TKB2.  I don’t have time right now to look up all of them, but I’m sure if you all do a search on Youtube you will find them.   I just remember him sounding a bit salty in some of his comments.  He def didn’t sound like a guy who was in wonderful relationship lol. 

His comment about “picking up the phone every once in a while instead of sending memes” (or something to that effect) in one of his interviews for TKB2 was pretty interesting as well. 👀  (when asked about a key to long-distance relationships)

His comment about “If you love ‘em keep ‘em...if you don’t...let ‘em go”.  

 

The fact that his “5-Year Plan” doesn’t even mention her or a gf at all is very telling 

FF To Minute 3:22

What I find pretty interesting is that in this interview he’s wearing a sweatshirt that I’m almost certain Z bought for him (since she follows that account)... I’m not sure exactly when this interview was conducted (it was uploaded to YT on Jul 23rd) but I’m pretty sure he and Z had already long since broken up by then, and he was already religiously starting to like Kaia’s posts on IG.  Was he being PETTY?? Trying to offer a “peace offering”?  Who knows?    Maybe it’s just a comfy sweatshirt! LOL

I just find it interesting that’s all. 

Idk... Maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that Z probably bought him that sweatshirt.... Probably since she knew he liked yin/yang.  Just a thought....🤷

[elichorph]

word hi ok here’s some info on annie ....  uhmMmgm.... ok

stats:

full name: annaleise grace suh nicknames: annie. call them anything else and you’ll get bit age: twenty one  birthday: october 27, 1999 chart: scorpio sun / gemini moon / taurus rising gender: demi girl pronouns: they / them & she / her sexuality: bisexual & biromantic  height: 5′9 tattoos: they shamelessly have like 7 of their own little doodles tattooed really small on their right bicep and one on their ankle too piercings: three earlobe piercings on each ear, double helix on their right ear, a nose stud

blackmail: 

as a famous artist, their art was spotted by a drug ring who launders money. they willingly sell their art through the ring as a means to transport both drugs and money, taking a cut of the cash and allowing the ring’s connections to boost their fame so they’ll stay quiet about it.

they did an excessive amount of philanthropy work in their second year at the university and posed it as charity work, but actually was doing mandated community service after being charged with theft

annie's family routinely and secretly took money from the kojima family to stay afloat and only stopped once they were caught. they were sued in civil court by the kojima's because of it and lost the case, leaving the suh family near penniless.

backstory:

this is a lot and i am sorry

tw: drugs

annie had a … pretty normal childhood. seriously like, it’s bland. nothing special so i’ll keep this brief. they were born in alabama and lived there for a single year before moving and was raised in a house in hartford, ct to two loving parents. although they weren’t incredibly well off, they always made sure there was a pack of ice cream sandwiches in the freezer and clearance rack flowers on the kitchen table. annie was posted up outside of the house with chalk drawing every little thing their mind could come up with every single day even though their parents desperately wished they were inside playing with the little doctor’s kit that they got them for their ninth birthday. but no ❤️annie was determined to be an artist despite their parent’s early pleads not to be. and annie’s never been one to take signals correctly in their life so their only child ass took this as a sign to start being edgy and self absorbed, focusing so much on themselves that they kind of shut their family out and wasn’t entirely aware of potentially sketchy things their parents did to keep money in the bank account. fr they just became like ... roommates and didn’t talk. the last time they spoke was when annie needed a lawyer last year. 

in high school, annie was a weird mix of tropes. they were the weird mysterious kid in the back of your english class who went on rants about how annoying romeo & juliet and romance are and the one who was president of clubs you’ve never even heard of and the underclassman who was friends with all the scary seniors (and later became the scary senior). in their junior year, they also conveniently went viral for a series of paintings they made in ap art class. it started locally and with being kinda famous on facebook to big gallery installations that had pieces which conveniently fit the aesthetics of mansions and big buyers. seriously, fame came fast for annie and by the end of their senior year they were well known enough to catch the eye of a drug ring who offered to bass boost it all for the small price of taking part in the sales of their art so the dealers can put a couple grams of cocaine in one of their lil pottery pieces and end up with way more money than they started with. 

yale thought annie’s fame and art and obscene amount of followers on instagram was kinda sexy so they were offered a full ride and gladly accepted and sells off all of their paintings and pottery pieces they make in class because why not ❤️ so here they are. with like a million followers on their art instagram and a big ego.

and annie’s a kleptomaniac, honestly. there’s no deep backstory as to why they decided to steal a pair of diamond earrings last year besides the fact that they wanted to. thankfully the judge let them off with community service, but you bet they spun that story to their advantage as soon as they could. if you saw annie posted up on their insta story picking up trash off of the highway with a big smile and “making time to clean up our highways!” across the bottom in pretty cursive, yes you did. 

personality: 

annie’s entire personality is one big paradox and then some.

they keep their life as a ✨famous person ✨ kind of bland so people won’t know a lot about them at the surface level unless they do some research. like they’ve got a main art instagram and stuff but then a personal one that you’ve gotta search for and also just ... doesn’t do interviews or anything like that. 

annie really loves people. like they crave small talk and holding the door open for people and smiling at people when they walk by them on campus. but on a deeper level, it’s a rarity that they’re good with others. seriously, they don’t know what the word communication means. if annie has a close friend or s.o. who things work perfectly well with and things are understood, that’s probably pure coincidence. they just kind of expect to understand people and have others understand them. things probably are fine to a certain point, like making small talk with whoever whenever, but i imagine it can only go so far lmao. like when you try to get close to annie, you’ll probably get sent a 400 word text message about needing space but then the next day they’re asking you to come over for four loko friday. mixed signal realness.

and even tho they love people and being surface level and nice and all, as seen in the tragic dropping of muse i, annie is volatile as hell! sometimes they’ll be mean just to entertain themselves bc they’re bored or they just get the urge or they feel like there’s a reason even if there’s not or something ... idk you never know with them. there are sure as hell days too when they just don’t even try to be nice to others either. annie’s got a temper and they go back and forth.

they lowkey crave strict control over their image but also love it when people think about them and give them attention. like ... yes they are having a breakdown daily about the blackmailer but they also deep down are like aw <3 

there’s part of them that wants cute romance ... the pottery scene in ghost ... painting their significant other ... all of that ... but they’ve got some deep rooted issues that make them think they don’t really need anyone. that maybe nobody will love them. even though they were the one that shut their parents out, their mind Loves to twist that situation to make it seem like they could’ve tried harder to get to know annie or support her or some shit bruh idk annie is so confusing.

ok but all the bad stuff aside .... if you actually like crack their code and get to know the real annie ..... they’re like kinda genuine and cool ig. they give really good advice and are extremely thoughtful and probably will make paintings inspired by you and maybe will gift you a handmade teapot and cook you your favorite dish if you talk about it once. annie is pretty funny too and they really have no fears because they are so self assured. they are SO shameless at times, even though it hurts them a lot more than it helps them. annie spends just about any free moment they get at the art studio. they’re always zooming with either dried clay all over their hands or paint on their jeans because they probably didn’t notice the time. really love memes like these ones. constantly wears big stompy boots. i really hope u get the picture i can’t write anymore

this is a tik tok that explains them well https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJufQVbP/

and here is their pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/mcvingparts/annie/

[hllicn]

hewwo everyone! i’m writing my intro in advance as well mainly bc when we all get to post ours, i will not be home tomorrow bc it’s community day in pokemon go and i’ll be out TURTWIG HUNTING … heheh … yeah im a phat nerd. anyway, i’m austin or aus nd i’m 21, est, he/they, gay, and ,, i don’t know how to read ? haha anyway ,,, this is minju, ur local GOTH PRINCESS who will hack ur grades for u maybe only if u pay her 2k bucks mk ? anyway read abt her below the cut ok qts ?

CONNECTIONS   &&   PINTEREST.

* ⋆ ╰  hey , did you happen to see MINJU DU on campus today ? you know , the KIM JIWOO / CHUU look-alike in our seven am class ? yeah , that FRESHMAN . ah , well they had their NINTENDO SWITCH on their desk this morning and left without it . i wanted to return it … but i have to get to class in five minutes . wait , don’t you see them around at THE DORMS ? oh , great ! can you bring it to HER then ? ugh , thank you so much. you’re the best ! now i know they get the rep of being HOT HEADED but you don’t have to worry . they’re always THOUGHTFUL . and who knows , maybe you two’ll hit it off ! i know that they’re a COMPUTER SCIENCE  major too . well , i have to jet before i miss my exam but i’ll catch you at the frat party later , right ? oh , you should bring MINNIE ! it’s always fun having the HELLION around .

so yee,.. this is minju. she is probably the youngest one out of everyone at the ripe age of 20! she is a freshman and is studying computer science because she is obsessed with anything technology related, more specifically computers. here are some fun facts abt her!

call her minnie and you probably die. she will answer to mindy though. i decided on this name after i sent in my app im sorry asjdflkasdf.

a scorpio! i love scorpios, can you tell ? haha …

you can find her pinterest board here. she’s a FREAK!

she is a hacker. more specifically, she is a dark/deep web hacker. i have to look up more specifics bc it’s been awhile since i’ve played her but she gets paid to do that in bitcoin ofc and it’s one of her passions! she absolutely loves doing it.

she is your local goth princess because this child is all about everything SPOOKI and BLACK. she is into horror, gore, skeletons, satan, ghosts, aliens, demons, anything that has to do with paranormal things or horror/gore. why else do you think she surfs the deep and dark web ?

she has a pet snake named SKEEBO who is her pride and joy ok. don’t fuck w him or she will end you.

she is also a gamer girl lul who loves shooting pvp games. she is also a huge fan of args and crime/murder podcasts.

minju is pretty sex repulsed and almost asexual only because she is very inexperienced and has no real interest in actually having sex or being sexual. that said, she is biromantic with a preference for females. this is mostly because she can be very masculine herself and idk she just thinks girls are cute. but ig she will settle for a nice boy if one floats along.

has two older brothers who taught her how to FIGHT so she will threaten you 24/7 and mean what she says ok.

a whole P U N K. plaid skirts. fishnets. laced up boots. halter tops. corset tops. tall socks. high tops. band t shirts. mesh tops. ripped jeans. she is the definition of a punk ass bitch!

give her chicken or give her death.

if she doesn’t go to bed early, she stays up all night. or she wakes up at the crack ass of dawn no matter what. she hates waking up late so she would rather be dead ass tired than sleep in until one pm unless she seriously is exhausted.

her past is basically that she was bullied a lot by kids but somehow still made it out alive with the perception that, hell yeah, she’s different, but that doesn’t mean she is less than other people. yeah, she is still pretty nervous about being at college abroad ( she has only been in the states for a year prior to attending college, and has no family besides her older brother who visits every so often due to his girlfriend living here ), but she is doing her best o scoot on by. if you want the full story, check out her stats page here.

i’ll be on to do plotting and such whenever i get home or through the app if i’m feeling not so lazy or ig u can hit me up on discord since u all have it in the gc! minju can be a bit of a bitch just bc that’s her personality – rough and tough, but honestly, she’s a baby, mk. i don’t rlly have ‘wanted connections’ so pls feel free to suggest ANYTHING for her! i wuv u all ok i will see u when i can.

[jabberwockprince]

HEY BESTIE, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON SOH BOOK 5? 👀 i just started playing it & i think it's... interesting, so i wanted to know how you feel about it hehe :) cheers

oh bestie where do I begin, I'll try not to spoil anything since idk where you're at rn, but here's all my thoughts below the cut

ok so, there's like 3 arcs in the game and I'm very conflicted because there's a lot of things I liked and didn't like abt each of them so I'm in this weird limbo of "well that sure was a book I read!"

I like how the first arc is structured, the drama and the stakes it has, but I also don't like it bc it ALSO feels sort of cheap, cramming a lot of backstory and lore and development very fast to characters who didn't have the spotlight before, so that you feel bad when things start to go down. AND ITH APPENS LIKE 5 TIMES IN A ROW, I LOVE THE STAT THING BUT I DONT LIKE IT WRITTEN THIS WAY, IT FEELS LIKE SOME FAKE ENDGAME MOVE

but me and some friends are having fun trying to theorize stuff with all the tidbits of info this book dropped abt demons and spirits and etc etc

the second arc was a massive fucking whiplash and the plants vs zombies theme wouldnt stop playing in my head the whole time

as weird as??? that arc felt ???? I do like the themes it presented, deffo more nuanced than the previous books, with heavy topics about redemption that deffo hit hard to the overall story. sometimes the constant need to make the player pity certain characters is a little on the nose and that irks me but its not as bad as shit like, ige. the specific character this arc revolves around does feel ??? weird and off, like, aight why should I give a shit abt this specific fella in any way whatsoever but I guess this arc serves its purpose and it was fun to navigate this new place from the ronin's pov

I also really really liked the moments between the ronin and Tosh, they actually feel like close friends in some points. but at the SAME TIME, this book is clearly aimed for ppl romancing Tosh, so some scenes feel weird and unnecessary if you're just buddies with them

the third arc is my least favorite for reasons everyone is super tired of hearing abt and bc personal tastes, so we'll skip those lmfao. but the ending was pretty fun, if you've picked a ronin portrait, please check your stats before ending the book!

[trcnquils-archive]

hihi everyone !! lily here with my favourite son , raffy !!! but like .. if you call him that he’ll definitely get booty tickled :/ anymeme , i’m just gonna warn you guys now that this intro’s gonna be pure garbage . like i know people joke but srsly ... anyways i have a stats page for raf here and a wc tag here but no bio bc i ... don’t have the emotional energy for that SO here’s the run down !

* raul esparza , forty five , cismale — hey , have you seen rafael romero anywhere ? i’m hearing beyond the sea by bobby darin so he must be around here somewhere . hm , maybe they’re at home in commercial drive or at work . they’re a high school teacher , y’know . people also call them the academic ‘cause they can be pretty reserved & stubborn . but others say they’re also benevolent & empathetic , so i guess it balances out .

okay not to be dramatic but .. raf had a pretty rough childhood idk why but ... all of my muses did .. maybe i’m projecting or maybe i like 2 suffer but uk.. its wtvr ig :/ 

background

death tw / cancer tw

— born in dawson creek , british columbia , raf’s family had to move to the small city of grande prairie when he was around eight years old . his dad was laid off from his job at the oil patch and they moved to alberta for the supposedly better jop opportunities but with only a high school diploma and his lack of ambition , there really wasn’t much there for him . 

— with 5 kids in the family and an unemployed dad , raf always kinda knew the #struggle . and when he thought things couldn’t get any harder ! raf’s mom was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer his freshman year of high school , it kinda ran in her side of the family . then by the time sophomore year rolled around , raf was helping his dad plan her funeral .

— after that , things really started going downhill fast . his dad still couldn’t find a job and started pretty much flaking on them , disappearing multiple nights in a row , drinking heavily . raf’s dad was a good man , respectful , and care about his kids but just not enough . it came to a point when raf reached his eighteenth birthday that he just left them , with nothing more than a note apologizing , saying they’d do better without him . 

— throughout high school and up until his college years you better believe that raf was on that work grind™ . his mom left him and his siblings the house plus a decent amount of money but he wanted to save that money for their schooling so he was working multiple jobs at a time , some full time , just to support himself and his siblings . raf missed so much school one year that he almost failed his junior year of high school . but grande prairie was a small place and all of his teachers pretty much knew what was going on so they cut him some slack .

— really , they pitied the kid . they tried really hard to help him in whatever way they could his senior year since they knew raf actually had potential . they got him to focus more on his education and work just that much harder and it all paid off ! because raf got a full-ride scholarship to the university of british columbia . things really started looking up after this .

— since he refused to leave his siblings behind , raf sold their house in grande prairie and used the money from that with the money their mom left them to move himself and his siblings to the tiniest , cheapest apartment he could find in vancouver . while still working , in ubc he completed his bachelor’s in english and afterwards he got accepted into their law school .

— after law school , raf flitted around the city between different jobs at smaller firms for a couple of years until landing a decent one at one of the city’s top corporate law firms . there , he worked his way up and up through the years , earning a name for himself in the city until he reached the title of senior partner . throughout this , he supported his siblings , helping put them through college , etc .

— it was some time around this point in his life that raf fell in love , got married , and had a kid of his own . but he was so focused on work , not wanting his family to go through the same financial struggles he did , that he completely forgot about spending time with his wife and son . this was the main reason his wife divorced him and moved out of their condo and this kinda .. what led raf to ~reinvent~ himself and have a reverse mid-life crisis jfdijfing

— so he dropped his HIGH-PAYING JOB AT A TOP NOTCH CORPORATE LAW FIRM smh ,,, and picked up a teaching job at his sons high school :/ can u say .. embarrasing .. but he a smort binch and worked smth out money wise so that they’re not broke .... like a savings ? im a dum binch so idk but like ... yeah ....

— so like right now , raf just wants to spend time with his son , inspire kids , help them the way his old teachers helped them in high school . even tho ... he kinda fucked emotionally , doesn’t think his feelings are valid ... #relatable #toxic masculinity ,, but like hes TRYING ok 

connections

— coworkers !! pls ! maybe they get along , maybe raf hates them , maybe they hate raf , gimme all of it !

— friends ! casual or more the ride or die , “i won’t let you go through this alone” type , whatever works !!

— former students . again , maybe they hated each other , or maybe ! raf changed someone’s life , a gal can only dream right ...

— neighbours . if ur muse lives in commercial drive in a maybe nicer condo , cause y’know , he spoils his son , then ! maybe they cld be neighbours !!

— uhhh people who are friends w his son ? idk that’s kinda weird but he’s like 17/18 sooo uk , go off

— someone that knew him from his #lawyerdays would be cool too ! so if your muse is in tht typa scene .. they cld meet him now n be like ... wow u rlly downgraded :/

— idk being a dad is natural to him , he’s been a dad since he was like 15 so if ur muse needs guidance ... the light ... a father figure ... big brother .... let a heaux know cause i think raf lowkey thrives off of being needed ....

— anything else ! if you have any other ideas or maybe we shld just surprise ourselves and completely do it chem based , that’s cool too ! i’m literally down for anything !!

there’s a bunch of personality stuff on  his stats page i don’t wanna make this any longer than it already is SO THATS IT IM DONE IM GOING TO STOP TYPING NOW BUT PLS !! give my sad boi some life

[bcdyhigh-blog]

hey y’all !! i have this queued and everything bc my forgetful ass prob won’t be around for the soft opening.. rip. anyways i’m lia, twenty, a rpdr and retro future enthusiast, and i’m hyped as hell to introduce my Kids ! admittedly gyuri owns my heart more than max so, you can have her first, you’d prob thank me for it shortly anyways DKSLGFJ you can find her bio HERE, i also have her PLOTS and STATS pages up, so check them out as well ! and if you wanna plot, just hmu over at discord !

( KIM MINJI | CISFEMALE | SHE/HER ) I swear I saw MOON GYURI around campus yesterday. I hear the TWENTY-ONE year old is very resolute & circumspect which totally adds up since they're a TAURUS. They’re in their THIRD year and studying MUSIC PRODUCTION. you might also see them at a RADIO CLUB meeting. ( lia, nt, she/her. )

moon gyuri, a daegu native with an older sister and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

i already have an overview of her bg so i’ll stick to the basics with this copied intro gklfds

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older sister, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her sister’s still exists, it’s just that she’s a bit of a toxic influence on her and she tends to distance herself from her

went to seoul arts to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) and found her way into the world of production !! just before junior year, she transferred out of her original program, applied music with a concentration in piano, into music production and has loved it ever since

she’s making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music — going by the aliases lunar wave and leda on them respectively ( can you tell how creative i am.. seriously, im dsfggdfjk )

she’s not even close to making it big yet, having only started a few short months ago, and that being said, she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label in the future — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following for such a new acct as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

anyways she’s a member of the radio club, is usually found in either her room or some studio in the music department, and is a struggling bi baby 

this is so short iK, it’s a little infuriating if you ask me ljkgdfjls

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s quite a loyal person, but even she knows when to draw a line in the sand. while like i said, her relationship with her sister is Not Great, she hadn’t completely given up on her for many years. definitely for the time being, for her own benefit, but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind, if her sister does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little dense on occasion and is a gentle soul overall ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

super wary with taking risks and the like, add her stubborn nature and she’s gonna be difficult to persuade on a range of things

unwavering in her work and with those she trusts. she also is the same with herself more often than not, but she’s not exempt from having that doubtful voice in her head convincing her she’s doing a shit job in x thing to throw her off

she’s a little reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her prof or boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for class/work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? bc like i said, she’s not exempt from that Evil voice in her head and those few more.. conflicting points above, we’ll say, mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

so that being said, she’s v strong overall, takes people’s shit but if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast ( the first time around ). doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry super easily ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone and is also clumsy as absolute fuCK

uhhh

plays piano and bass guitar

prob has some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

so.. if you want in on that lmk sdgkldg

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten ( i’m shit with pet names so that’s tba rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses minji’s worn on occasion ?? rinna wears them too but.. actually needs them, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, god help her

her favourite subject in school was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks between classes, prob tried to take up a creative writing class as an elective as well

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic plus her personality description is all over the place bc i’m rushing but.. i’ve gotta get to max’s info so this’ll do for now i hope ??

[hyvnmi-blog]

so my dumb ass decides to spend quality sleeping time creating a blog and doing an intro.. tomorrow’s early rise will surely be an Experience, dear fucking godsdgkljldf. hey guys, i’m jules !! i’m a uni student from canada, thankfully off for the summer, and am.. so obsessed with that hui x somin duet that i went against my desire to play a different fc ( bc im so far up this girl’s ass already ) but.. her abs.. klsgdjl. also excuse the clashing icons in the theme, just added a couple i last had saved until i could make it Perfect tomorrow evening. i’d say more abt myself, but i honestly don’t have the patience dgsjk so below you can read up on seoul’s resident skating brat halle, a bitch who overworks and doesn’t know how to chill long-term !! stats page is HERE for your reading pleasure, plots and what not will be up later on !

└ jeon somin, twenty-three, she/her ┐ this town wouldn’t be complete without chae “halle” hyunmi wondering around. they’re known as the prodigy and have been living here for four years. i hear they really like cranberry salsa, classical music and rain, but can’t stand distractions, laziness and cherries. their sole purpose? i hear it’s to finally become an olympic medalist, but we’ll see how that goes. ( jules, 18+, gmt-3:30, she/her )

honestly she is.. fucked sgjfsgdkl

i’ve had inspo for her after the olympics and rly wanted to use her somewhere, so if some things here seem a little.. idk, farfetched for your taste, we’ll pin it on that sfdgkdfj

this is her as popular vines

so chae hyunmi aka halle, ulsan born, raised in seoul and relocated to toronto, canada with her parents, little sis and partner to train bc..

she’s a figure skater, good enough to win ( .. junior ig ) titles when she was in her early teens, so it was only inevitable for her to leave for toronto to train with the Best eventually

she’s competed in international competitions, as part of a pair, and made her olympic debut in sochi by the skin of her teeth; her highest placement was third place ( not at sochi pls sgjkld she prob ranked in the top ten at best ), so she’s got a medal or two to her name

ultimately it was after sochi that she saw her coach and ( ex ) partner intervene with her.. unhealthy practicing habits

she’s a perfectionist through and through, so of course she’d spend hours on the ice at just seventeen/eighteen years old, even younger tbh, to get a routine right. but she pushed herself harder and harder, where small missteps would lead her to fall hard and recover for days on end, even spraining her ankle just before competition season was to begin

so when her coach insisted she take a break, her parents following suit, it was with good reason — one that she didn’t fucking see fsdkgkl

even so, them pushing her to prioritize education for a bit, to get ahead of the skaters who would prob only be able to do so upon retirement in a good few years’ time, and hanging up her skates until she saw it as.. less than something she needed to abuse herself to feel comfortable with, for as long as they would do so led to her resolve shattering and her applying for universities both in canada and sk ( the sly brat reasoned that it’d be nice to be reconnect with her roots.. for the sake of having something going for her beyond just competing in pyeongchang ! )

which is how, miraculously, she got accepted into uni in seoul ( still figuring out which, rip ). her grades were good, she had a super brief volunteering stint and she’s a rising star ( well, was.. the bitch wouldn’t be competing again anytime soon to keep herself where she was within the skating circuit ) in her favoured sport, she deemed it inevitable sfkljfdgk

the transition wasn’t too hard ofc; she got comfortable with the campus and seoul and was back on the ice in no time, joining the uni’s skating team under her parents’ noses and making the most of it as comeback/olympics prep

she saw herself as poised to be added to the roster once again, now a singles prospect after a major falling out with her longtime partner for one too many dumb bitch moves, and was desperate for it since it’s in pyeongchang, however the stars didn’t align when she just missed obtaining qualification on sk’s roster on a technicality, and nothing could’ve compared to the agony that was missing her chance in something she invested sm practice, time and compliance with the people around her to pull through and get to pyeongchang

she’s still distraught over it, it’s been a few months since that happened and she gets emo real quick, misty-eyed if you bring it up ( she uh, has issues with moving on from things if you can’t tell )

suffice to say she resents her coach for his minor contribution in fucking her and himself over, dropped him out of anger ( a move she.. does feels bad abt on a personal level but professionally ?? pft ) and linked up with one back in toronto who she’ll begin seeing when she’s “ prepared ” to give it a shot again

studied history despite wanting to be a skating coach when she retires as a competitor, bc she rly loves history ok ??

lives on her own bc she can’t deal with even minimally questionable people as roommates jdfgkls

personality and other shit

she is.. a mess rly

inflexible, independent, charismatic, etc

most of her actual personality is further down oops dsfgjklfg

kinda detached ?? like she doesn’t want too many distractions and she deems relationships as the fucking Worst for it.. she’s had some pals from skating with potential go downhill when they got too deep with certain partners or just with too many side hobbies, social obligations, so she’s trying to be level-headed while not destroying her social life ?

idk it’s hard to explain, she’s an enigma even to me in that area

only dated once. when she was like nine. with her first pairs partner she quickly ditched.

not.. super sexually active either ( rip ?? )

but she’s been Involved with people so fdskng

on the ice, or just in whatever she’s applying herself to, she’s domineering and blunt, v strict on herself though she’s slacked off a bit over the years.. so imagine how self-disciplined — in the worst of ways — she was when she was younger

with a rigorous work ethic like hers, her being a leader among those at the local skating club implies that she’d be strict too with what little power she has.. but she’s kinda chill overall ?? tho you still have to get your twizzles right before the end of the day, don’t care that the hockey players will be out in two ! let’s go !

uh.. her attitude carries over with a Lot of things. she especially has no time for people who are Committed to their sport but show poor performances bc of laziness, distractions, etc. so brace your kids for hurricane hyunmi ??

call her ice queen. try it. try it. GKFDJKGDSF she hates that nickname 95% of the time, usually bc she assumes people are basing it off of her initial/professional demeanour first and her passion second

she rly just has a hard shell where it matters, aka her career and stuff, but is a semi-precious gem overall

kind of dramatic and a meme ngl, curses quite a bit, whips out english far too often — especially if she’s shit-talking bc you made an ugly choice but is trying to be a Supportive Friend

english name came from halle berry bc hyunmi thought she was rly pretty on all the red carpets her mom would have on growing up sfgdkjflk

also likes cranberry salsa?? an odd fave but it’s one of mine and i wanted to include it just bc jgsflddgks

unwinds with the usual netflix and wine, but also dance — helps with her choreo for routines too so

oH also prob still hurts herself by overworking, especially after That Lost Opportunity, i hate

ok idk what else to say rn, accept this pls

KDFJGSKFL uh, let’s end it there. if anyone wants to plot, im me !! ( ps, if you prefer d*scord like yours truly, just ask for it or send me yours ! )

[yunhycran-blog]

( the cuteST )

for once i don’t have a long ass spiel typed before introducing myself, imagine that ! hey i’m kat, i’m 20, canadian, and uh, i’m rly pulling this stunt again huh !! bc of lo siento fucking me up, i’m giving this brat one last shot in the group rp realm rather than pick up a new muse ( i am.. v convinced i kill or ruin rps by presence alone but with her ?? it’s tenfold so fingers crossed GKSKGKSL ) i’m just.. rly attached to her ok. 

i’m a uni student and in love with sowoo if that wasn’t already obvious, plus i’m 90% sure at least a quarter of you have seen me use hyeran before so this shouldn’t be a surprise to you SDKGJGKLDFS. you can find extras abt her — including stats — HERE, hmu on d*scord if you’d like ( STREAM LO SIENTO !!#2030 ) and with that, i’ll shut up and ( re ?? perhaps ? dfgjslkg ) introduce you to this brat !

` +⬦･ﾟ——— SHE/HER, PANSEXUAL — YUN HYERAN is said get mistaken for JEON SOMIN on campus all the time. they are TWENTY-TWO and about to go into their SENIOR YEAR. rumour has it they’re majoring in MUSIC COMPOSITION and came all the way from DAEGU, SOUTH KOREA. their roommate says they’re EBULLIENT & RESOLUTE but also SELF-CRITICAL & CIRCUMSPECT. ( kat, 20, gmt-3:30, and she/her  )

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh this is a copied intro from a few months back that i tweaked a bit for the rp, and i don’t have the time to perfectly incorporate much of her bg, so you can check out all of that HERE

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, albeit barely. he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her, or at least that’s how she perceives it, and she tends to distance herself from him

would visit jeju island when she was younger bc her aunt lived there

she adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so overall jeju holds a special place in her heart

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) but transferred to busan u after some.. shit and her own feelings ? anyways she was content when she settled here and soon found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at a café off-campus

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt a year now

she’s not even close to making it big yet ofc, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short since i took out a bit from when she was recent uni grad!hyeran so, pardon that sgkljgskfld

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said ( and will elaborate on in her bio ), her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being — by that i mean another two years or so ?? LJSKSDFGJ my baby’s still hurt by his bullshit so — but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

don’t confuse that with her being v forgiving, weak, etc, etc. she’s a soft bitch, p vulnerable too ngl but.. she’s not that Dumb sdljfkg

speaking of vulnerable, she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

spontaneous tbh, transferring to busan was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a bit reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but.. still dgklsf

don’t confuse that with optimism tho, bc she’s a bit of a defensive pessimist deep down, with her optimistic side always trying to overpower it

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone

uhhh

has a good understanding of english, her mom’s an american national so she grew up with it being spoken in the house at times

prob speaks it better than i speak french ( and uh, i studied that for almost ten fucking years with a shit end result on that end of things LKSDFGJGDKF ), but still wouldn’t consider herself fluent

.. i would tho js

plays piano and bass guitar, but knows her way around a flute and tenor sax ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet as an homage to jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten back in daegu ( i’m shit with pet names so if lucy sounds lacklustre.. you know why rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin wears a lot ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them for reading and especially while she’s working on shit on her laptop, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, just a bit, but god help her nonetheless

her favourite subject in hs was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café, even took up a couple of courses since attending uni

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoiding listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!

[hajiiwa]

tagged by @aizawashoutah, @shitabukenjirou, and @foxyena !! thank u guys so much~

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

hajime = haji, iwaizumi = iwa, haji + iwa = hajiiwa~ i love my mans but not many people understand my username 

(the rest will go under the cut!)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

huh, well

FMK technically has the most hits and kudos (something i am a little disgruntled about, seeing as it was not a fic i worked very hard on), only fools has the most comments, kaminari is a schemer has the most bookmarks, and of fountains and flowers has the most subscriptions so idk what to tell you. i wish ofaf had more recognition bcos i’ve worked hard on it rip

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s kuroo!! and i just chose it bc i Love him and it was an icon i made that i sorta liked so

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yes and i love them all!! seeing names that consistently pop up in my kudos/comments section really warms my heart <33 i’ve made good friends that way tbh

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

uhh there are many that i like to go back and read, mainly by my fav authors that i’m subscribed to

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

bookmarked: 53 subscribed: honestly, i... don’t really subscribe to works? i’m subscribed to 8 authors tho

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

oooh, probably... medieval aus or domestic magic aus? and slice of life

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Subscriptions: 80 (rip, i didn’t know if u meant user subs or work subs so i combined and it’s still a tiny number) Bookmarked: 203

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

umm... i don’t think so? 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

finishing current projects before taking on new ones, avoiding burnout, the usual

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

well i’ll go based on haikyuu since those works take up the majority-- iwaoi is set firmly in first place based on number of works followed by bokuroo, both of which are fairly popular so i’d say that i lean more toward the bigger ships but i also have works for kurooiwa, iwaaka, tengoshi, etc

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

22! that number fluctuates a ton because i’m very impulsive and if a fic doesn’t receive the recognition i feel it deserves/i no longer like it/etc i take it down

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

that i have yet to publish? too many.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i normally keep them in my head, unless i think they’ll turn into something bigger and then i’ll jot them down!

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

not yeeet~ @frenchibi have plans to tho. i have tried to co-author in the past but it mever worked out

16. How did you discover AO3?

when i graduated from using wattpad,, fun fact, there is so much smut on there that i legitimately thought ao3 was just used to write porn. i was both horrified and confused

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

lol

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

no...? this question assumes that i would be Popular (honestly do fanfic writers even have “fandom names” for their readers?? im)

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

not really, no. i stated writing fanfics when i was really young on my own, unprompted, and i’ve met other authors through that medium that have helped me?

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

interact with other writers! i know it seems daunting, but leave comments, go to spaces where you will find other writers, participate in events-- there are few feelings more satisfying than seeing familiar names pop up, either in your notifications or in a group you’re in. most of the time, they’re all very kind and you won’t regret letting them into your life!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i plot out almost always, though this sort of bites me in the ass. it bores me when i’m writing to already “know” what’s going to happen and that’s why i lose steam. it’s weird

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

sort of. i write a lot of angst and i’ve gotten quite a few “fuck you author” comments-- most of the time they’re paired with “for making me feel these feelings” or “for writing something so sad” or some shit but i don’t appreciate that bc, like, fuck you too? i’m sorry that you felt the need to cuss me out?? i tag pretty liberally and if you felt that you couldn’t handle the topic i was writing about then you shouldn’t have clicked

unless it’s, like-- a friend or regular going “fffuCK YOU AHHH” which HAS happened and makes me snicker lmao

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

huh. i’m trying to become more proficient in the Big Three (smut, angst, and fluff) and thus far i’ve got one of three down p good. but specific scenes i have trouble writing would have to be scenes in which i have zero experience and pretty much have to improvise-- it helps me grow as a writer, ig, but it’s just frustrating

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

the rest of the writers’ inktober prompts

a fic wars piece with @frenchibi

a post breakup iwaoi

of fountains and flowers final chapter

a handful of voltron fics, 4 of them sheith

alien!iwaizumi

maaaany half-abandoned drafts

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

YES AND IT IS TERRIBLE SOMEONE STOP ME

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

nah. motivation is fickle and i don’t want to make writing a chore. writer’s inktober was hard enough (it’s december and i am still not done :,)

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

considering i started on wattpad, yes lmao. i’d like to think that i have since i’ve been on ao3 but hahjajhjkh

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i reeeeally liked writing a bit of magic is key and three’s a crowd because they were both humorous domestic magic aus~ but i’ve liked most things i’ve written tbh. also, obviously, of fountains and flowers.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

that i’ve posted? i honestly don’t know. maybe you can be so stupid sometimes because i was just starting to write iwaoi and i now hate the way i portrayed them, not to mention that this dumb little fic has more kudos than my recent stuff and i just *clenches fist* don’t think it deserves that

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

not sure. maybe i’ll have ofaf finished by then hahah,, but really i don’t know. writing is a tool but fanfic writing is just a hobby

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

i’m pretty good at writing emotionally charged situations. also dialogue, i find banter or long back-and-forth conversations fairly easy

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

transitions, justification of characters’ actions. the hardest thing writing-related would be fighting through envy and feelings of inadequacy but i experience the former plenty anyway rip

33. Why do you write?

i write because i enjoy it-- i love creating my own worlds, interacting with other writers, living vicariously through my characters

well, that was fun! i’ll tag @frenchibi, @astersandstuffs, @minyardxva, @josai

[fanfictionlive]

just me whining abt my ao3 stats

uhhh anyone have tips for not caring about ao3 stats?

i posted something on ao3 on Thursday and i have 35 hits and 4 kudos and a comment that amounts to "this is nice, but it's too short." and it sort of hurts.

like out of the 35 people who checked this story, only 4 thought it merited a kudo - and the one comment i have is about length, which is something im sensitive abt bc i'm really bad at writing longer stories? and at 1.2k this was the longest i've gone in a while without the story feeling drawn out. and i know that the comment is sort of a compliment because it means the reader wants more of it, but what i gave is all i have and all i want to give. and it sucks being told ur story is insufficient.

i understand that 1. it's only been up for a couple of days - so ... it's still really recent and it takes time for responses to rack up, 2. it's for a big fandom so maybe it's not being seen bc its being buried in everything else uploaded since then, 3. it's a short one-shot, so unless i post another chapter the responses i do get will crawl, 4. for all i know the hits could be from fewer than 35 readers and idk the people who kudo'd it could be rereading it or something, or from people who "marked it for later" to read at a different date - which makes the reader/kudo rate kinder than it looks.

but it's hard not internalizing stats bc i only know what i think of my work, and a writer's perspective is different from a reader's. we have different criteria, different needs, and i rely on other people to know if my writing is good or not. and even tho there's a lot of variables behind a sucky response rate, it's hard not to go from "ooh this looks pretty good" to "well, it's okay ig," to "it wasn't that great in the first place," and so on.

posting fics is always sorta weird bc i do it for the validation - i write a thing and i want people to tell me it's good and cement the work as "finished" in my mind. if i was just doing it for the joy of writing, i wouldn't be sharing it all. but i'm starting to realize that i have a limited window for my "validation high" - after 1 to 2 weeks, i don't care anymore, i've already established how i feel abt the piece and i'm onto the next thing. kudos and comments (not counting really detailed or specific comments) won't really spark joy. it's just another thing in my in-box.

tldr: it's not really about the amount of comments/kudos/hits i get but when i get them that matters. and i'm not sure how i feel about that.

submitted by /u/ForeverBefuddled [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans https://ift.tt/35nFHE9