#stays totally respectful and doesn't try to push any boundaries

[swampndn]

It's honestly crazy how badly I (we) need human connection and intimacy.

[stolitzsings]

This is a sort of response to a post I've seen floating around, drawing parallels between the chains in Blitz’s trip that bind him to Stolas and the chains that bind Husk, Angel, and Fizz to Alastor, Valentino, and Mammon respectively. I'm not commenting on that post directly bc I avoid Discourse (tm) at all costs for the sake of my health, and I don’t want to get drawn into an unproductive argument that will mess with my anxiety for a week. I'm not trying to start a fight, just get my thoughts out on why I feel that comparison is inaccurate, and hopefully provide some helpful context and nuance.

So! Let's start with a few disclaimers! First of all, I'm not going to debate the moral purity of any of these characters. I just don't think it's an interesting or valuable critique. On a related note, I am not trying to excuse any of their behavior. I'm happy to admit that my favorite characters in this show have hurt people and are sometimes total assholes. Stolas treated Blitz very poorly at the beginning of their relationship, frequently pushed or even ignored boundaries, and was just kind of a dick about things. My objection to a direct comparison between Stolas and the other characters mentioned above isn't because I think Stolas hasn't done anything wrong; I just think that saying they're similar without further clarification or commentary ignores the nuance of the situation.

Read on below the cut, it's gonna be another long one folks!

Let's start by examining the "agreements" forged by Val, Mammon, and Alastor. I think it's important to note that, in their cases, the person they got to sign their contract could have been anyone. Husk and Angel could have been any sinners, Fizz could have been any imp. They aren't interested in them as people; they were only using them to gain more power for themselves. The only thing that matters to them is, "What can you do for me?" Angel and Fizz quite clearly become cogs in the machine of Val and Mammon's businesses, and Alastor only thinks of Husk as a tool to be leveraged in specific situations to further his own mysterious goals. Each of them has demonstrated to their subjugates that they own them, body and soul. They have signed legally and spiritually binding contracts that essentially surrender their autonomy to a more powerful demon.

Stolas and Blitz’s agreement is... not that. In the most literal sense, they don’t appear to have made any sort of binding deal. They just made a verbal agreement, which I sincerely doubt has anywhere near the force of a signed soul contract. Additionally, Stolas did not ask for and does not seem to want that sort of total control over Blitz. He very clearly does not view this as any sort of power exchange (which may actually be part of the issue, since it leaves him blind to Blitz’s discomfort with their class difference), he sees it as "favors for favors." While this agreement is inherently unbalanced due to Stolas's status, it's worth noting that they’re both putting something on the line here. The other three risk practically nothing (if the person bound to them fails they can always get a new one), but Stolas IS taking on a real risk by letting Blitz access the living world illegally using his book. Again, that doesn't make his actions right, and probably helped him to justify them, but it does set their relationship apart from the others.

In my opinion, some of Stolas's greatest flaws are his thoughtlessness and his ability to justify his own actions to himself. This manifests in the fact that he clearly doesn't see the ways in which their relationship is hurting Blitz. He convinced himself that this was just an equal exchange, and a continuation of the dynamic Blitz established in their first encounter as adults: "I fuck you, and you give me the book". As he becomes more aware of his feelings for Blitz, though (stay tuned for a deeper analysis of this progression later), he also begins to realize that Blitz isn't happy with this relationship. And this, as @masonshmason pointed out, is the central fact that separates Stolas and Blitz from the other relationships. Stolas did not realize- or chose to ignore- how he was hurting Blitz. Once he came to terms with it, though, he understood that he had to make things right. He specifically says this in "Just Look My Way"; "I will try to make amends/ For making you means to an end". None of the others could say this, because in their case, that was the POINT. Angel, Fizz, and Husk were ALWAYS a means to an end, intentionally trapped for that purpose.

We also need to talk about the CONTEXT of the scenes in which the chain imagery appears. For both Angel and Husk, the chain is at least semi-literal, a physical (and perhaps supernatural) manifestation of the way their souls are bound to an overlord. In "Two Minutes Notice," Fizz purposely CHOOSES to represent his relationship to Mammon as chains around his wrists. However, Blitz's scene is part of a drug trip after being forcibly dosed with hallucinogens. It does not exist in any literal sense, nor is it a representation of Blitz’s conscious, literal thoughts. What it DOES do is showcase Blitz’s deepest fears and his greatest flaws through symbolism and metaphor. Blitz is not literally afraid of being forced to wear a clown costume; he is afraid he'll never escape his past traumas or Fizz's shadow. THIS is the context in which Blitz sees himself being chained by Stolas: a bad trip all about his fear of intimacy and vulnerability.

Stolas appears in this trip as someone elevated high above him, something he's climbing towards, reaching for, even though it means being chained to him. It's directly preceded by his ex girlfriend and his former best friend berating him for how he pushes people away even though he hates being alone. Then Stolas directly asks him, "Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?" Furthermore, the WAY in which he is framed is alluring, slightly hazy, golden and tempting. It couldn’t be further from the ugly, slime-covered past he's fleeing. It's a new start, a chance for something better that seems too good to be true. This trip is all about Blitz’s inability to be vulnerable with another person. The chain around his neck is a representation of the fact that, by getting closer to Stolas, he's giving Stolas the power to hurt him emotionally.

And man, there's a part of him that wants to give Stolas that power. At this critical moment, he's not baring his teeth in defiance or anger. He's blushing, just slightly, and he looks... nervous. Blitz's instinct, when things get too real, is to cut and run. Hurt them before they can hurt you. Abandon them before they have the chance to leave you. It’s how he tanked his relationship with Verosika. This is a manifestation of what might happen if he stays. This is the sort of trouble he can't fight his way out of.

This is the emotional climax of the scene. There are so many ways they could have gone with this if they wanted to represent Blitz being chained and trapped by his agreement with Stolas. If that was the fear--if that was the POINT--they could have had the chains wrap around him until he couldn't move, or glow white hot and burn into his skin, or a million other more direct metaphors. But the chains aren't the thing that hurts him. It's the feathers: the thing that's left behind after Stolas abandons him, sing-songing "you're going to die alone" right alongside two other people who he loved and who now want nothing to do with him.

Finally, let's look at Blitz’s reaction to this scene. It's a moment of revelation for him, in which he realizes he's pushing everyone away and starts to make an effort to change. It's why he's a bit more open with Moxxie in the next scene. The trip sequence ALSO inspires him to get closer to Stolas, indicating that the trip didn’t make him realize "I'm trapped and I need to get out of this" in the same way Fizz did. Rather, he realizes that he doesn't want Stolas to leave him like everyone else, and he wants to start feeling out what it would be like to deepen the connection between them. As I've mentioned in other posts, their kiss at the end of "truth seekers" represents a level of intimacy that we haven't seen before; it's teasing, affectionate, shows Blitz’s interest in making Stolas happy, and takes place in front of M&M, who have repeatedly teased him about their relationship before.

In summary, while the image of chains may have been invoked in all four of these relationships, they don’t necessarily mean the same thing across the board. Blitz and Stolas's relationship differs substantially from the others in its dynamic, and the context of their scene also sets it apart. It's important to look into the details and the nuance of their relationship to interpret what's going on under layers of trauma and unreliable narration.

[dioslesbianwife]

Yo can I request the jofoes with a partner who is like Mikitaka Hazekura aka a actual alien that shape shift and doesn't like loud noises.

I love the idea of who they can get help from them (like the perfect spy for diavolo and valentine for example) 👽

omg i absolutely love mikitaka, i love him sm. totally- hope u enjoy and thankyou for requesting!!

Dio

Dio is immediately fascinated. He already sees himself as above humanity, so having a partner who isn’t even human? Perfect. He’s intrigued by your abilities and constantly tests your limits, seeing how far your shapeshifting can go. He would use you as an informant, sending you to blend in among his enemies. However, he learns very quickly to lower his voice around you. After the first time you flinched away from his dramatic yelling, he made a conscious effort to be quieter.

Kars

Kars respects you as another non-human being, though he still considers himself superior. He’s deeply interested in your biology and would try to understand your full potential- so expect him to constantly test you, pushing your shapeshifting abilities to their limits. He’d also want to see if you can adapt to his own biology, turning into something similar to a Pillar Man. Loud noises aren’t an issue with him; he’s usually composed, and if anyone disturbs you, he’ll take care of them swiftly.

Esidisi

Esidisi is surprisingly considerate of your sensitivity to sound. While he does have moments of intense emotion, he makes an effort to keep his louder outbursts away from you. He’d find your shapeshifting incredibly useful in battle, especially if you can mimic a weapon or something. If you’re hurt, he’d use his body heat to help comfort you, wrapping around you protectively. He sees your abilities as an advantage, and as long as you stay by his side, he’ll treat you like the perfect partner.

Wamuu

Wamuu respects strength, and if your shapeshifting enhances your combat skills, he’ll be deeply impressed. He wouldn’t use you for espionage like the others, but he would see you as an invaluable battle partner. He trains with you, pushing you to test the limits of your abilities, and even helps you control your reaction to sound by teaching you how to focus on specific frequencies. He’s naturally quiet and calm, so being around him is a relief when the world is too loud.

Yoshikage Kira

Kira is intrigued but also a little unsettled. He likes normal, and the idea of his partner being something so different makes him anxious at first. However, once he realizes that your shapeshifting means you can keep you hidden from threats, he warms up to it. You’re the perfect escape plan if things go wrong- he can rely on you to shift into something useful, like a something to carry his precious hand collection without suspicion. He’s naturally quiet, so your noise sensitivity isn’t a problem.

Diavolo

Diavolo sees endless potential in you. You’re the ultimate spy-able to infiltrate any space, take on just about any form, and erase threats before they even know you’re there. He keeps your abilities a secret from everyone, only entrusting you with the most crucial tasks. He respects your noise sensitivity, ensuring that anyone who disturbs your peace is eliminated. However, he’s not above using that sensitivity as a test, exposing you to mild discomfort just to see how you react under pressure.

Doppio

Doppio is fascinated by you and finds your abilities so cool. He loves watching you shapeshift, constantly asking you to change into funny or interesting forms. However, he’s very careful with his voice, he gets flustered if he accidentally raises it and sees you recoil. He makes an active effort to keep things quiet around you, and if he senses a Diavolo switch coming, he warns you in advance so you can prepare for any potential loud outbursts. He genuinely enjoys your company and respects your boundaries.

Enrico Pucci

Pucci sees you as a divine gift, something beyond human understanding. Your abilities are proof that the world has more mysteries to uncover, and he believes your existence ties into his greater plan. He utilizes your shapeshifting for covert missions, especially when dealing with Stand users who pose a threat to his goals. He’s mostly soft-spoken, so he’s a good match for your noise sensitivity, and he ensures that you’re in peaceful environments as much as possible.

Funny Valentine

Valentine sees you as the perfect tool for his America-first ideology. Your ability to take on any object means you can infiltrate foreign powers, gather intelligence, and ensure his control over the multiverse remains unchallenged. He treats you with the utmost respect, almost revering you as a secret weapon. He keeps noise levels around you manageable, but if you flinch in public, he’ll use it as an opportunity to test your adaptability under stress.

Diego Brando

Diego adores your abilities. As someone who relies on strategy and deception, he finds your shapeshifting invaluable. You become his greatest ally, a secret weapon that lets him manipulate any situation. He might tease you about your noise sensitivity at first, but he never crosses a boundary, if he sees you uncomfortable, he’ll immediately adjust. He prefers quiet environments himself, so being with you feels natural.

Tooru

Tooru loves the idea of using your abilities for his own personal gain. He’d send you into places he can’t reach, gathering information while remaining undetected. He’d also love the idea of you shifting into him even if you can’t do that- imagine the chaos of two Toorus running around, confusing the hell out of people. He’s usually soft-spoken, so he doesn’t trigger your noise sensitivity often, but if he does, he finds it fascinating to watch your reaction. He might even test it just to see how much you can handle.

[genderfreakxx]

Yeah so ummm some of your post is definitely getting into the whole 'if you want to date a binary trans person who doesn't pass 100% you can't be straight' and even 'if you, a man, want to date a cis woman who's had breast reduction surgery or has a low voice or stubble and isn't 100% the misogynistic standard of a woman, you must be queer' which is you know. A bad look.

You don't have to be bi to date a NB person. This is something used against lesbians like a lot and its pretty fucked up

Your boundaries and feelings about your experiences are completely valid but some of the more generalised statements are kinda. Concerning.

Hey thank you for sending this, this is exactly the perspective I needed to be reminded of. You’re right, in trying to shake the rigidity of gender essentialism in others’ gaze toward myself I have inadvertently fallen into the other side of gender essentialism with my blanket statements!

If someone is a binary trans person, there shouldn’t be any problem seeing them for who they are even if their entirely pre-transition, don’t want to transition, or “don’t pass.” It doesn’t make them less trans or less of their gender.

And I’m all about women, cis or trans, with facial hair, deep voices, breast reduction or complete removal etc. ! (And their straight boyfriends lol)

Plus you’re so right about lesbians dating non binary people and having it weaponized against their identities. This is a long standing issue I’m aware of and yet somehow I got so mad at straight men in the moment that I didn’t think about lesbians (for fucken shame) in the context of my rant post, so again, thank you!

I think my bias for trusting lesbians over straight men impacts my thoughts on this aspect of the situation, honestly. Perhaps because lesbians already have to fight for the right to exist as themselves in society, there’s a presumed understanding between lesbians and their non binary partners that they’ve talked about identity and respect one another. I’m not sure how much of this is my familiarity with queer solidarity and how much is leaning toward black and white thinking with “lesbians good, straight man bad” because I don’t truly think people can be categorized so broadly and totally. I just think straight men have more of an opportunity to not consider what their non binary partners gender identity truly means because (whether they’re consciously aware of it or not) it benefits them socially not to defer from their normative identities. Generally, they have an easier time navigating the world and less incentive to question gender roles and identity than someone like a lesbian who has presumably had to take the time to consider the nuances of identity in a world that doesn’t consider their identity to be “normative.” All this is to say, this is why it makes sense to me that lesbians date non binary people and yet it still gives me pause when straight men do it.

But again, you’re right that it’s concerning that I let my rhetoric fall into a category of potential harm for all these lovely people because I was feeling a very specific frustration on a personal scale.

At the end of the day I know there are all sorts of identities and relationships across the board and even if I don’t completely understand them, it’s none of my business and I just want everyone to be happy and comfortable. That’s also why I capped the post with “but again I just wish the app would let me block straight people” because, c’est la vie, man, I would never want to push my personal experience and preference on anyone else- it’s just frustrating that the app for dating doesn’t allow for more personalization.

This was helpful to think about, and will help me stay grounded in the future when similar feelings arise, so genuinely thank you again for taking the time to send this. I can definitely see where my post gets concerning at points as I rant on.

[the-emptied-brain-contents]

I just had this idea, dsmp members becoming the aunt/uncle from another family to the reader's kids. In other words, fluffy chaos

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐬𝐦𝐩 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭/𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬

Karl Jacobs • Wilbur Soot • Tommyinnit • Nihachu • Technoblade

Pronouns: Gender Neutral!

A/N: Ahh sorry it took so long to get this written! Tysm anon!! :D

Spoils. Them. Rotten.

The kids would always be super excited when their uncle came to visit, since he would usually be pretty busy making videos with Mr. Beast

SPEAKING OF

He would sometimes (much to your dismay) sneak the kids on set while shooting

If Mr. Beast was doing a challenge, Karl would definitely find ways for the kiddos to help out with the mild torture :)

If one of the kids wanted to learn how to skate like their favorite uncle, he would be SO careful when teaching them

will not even let them TOUCH the board without elbow pads, knee pads, palm guards, and a helmet

when they're finally confident enough to push off on their own, Karl would be following them closely with his hands hovering just in case they fall

If they did end up hurting themselves (bound to happen at some point) he would pick them up and carry them in the house, then hold their hand while you cleaned up any cuts

If the family was spending the day at home together, you can bet that he's sneaking them candy whenever you leave the room

He thinks you don't notice

You do.

He'll try to sputter out an explanation for why their eyes are the size of pool balls but eventually gives up and you confiscate the bag D:

you eat it while hiding in the bathroom at 2 am tho

«────── « ⋅𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐮𝐫⋅ » ──────»

Human jungle gym.

If the family was walking around Brighton together, he would carry them on his shoulders

No matter how many kids you have, he would find an arm to make sure ALL of them were closer to his eye level

its honestly kind of adorable

maybe aside from the part where the kiddos are pulling on his hair and ears trying to "steer" him

The kids love him almost as much as he loves them

they would all play wrestle together, and for whatever reason, they LOVE getting the opportunity to "beat him up"

they get it from you

While he does love spending time with his nieces/nephews, I think he also does it to give you a break from the constant chaos

he's happy to dramatically fall to the floor after a devastating punch from a 5 year old if it means you can doze off for an hour :')

«────── « ⋅𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲⋅ » ──────»

oh my.

listen. I know that some of the gremlin energy is a bit. But I think being surrounded by children would make it all come out

something about being looked in the face by a deranged toddler would cause even an angel's eye to twitch

they scream at him? he screams right back

matching the energy ™ 

If it was more chilled out I honestly think he would be super responsible around them though

a little more lenient than you are are, but he definitely makes sure they follow certain rules

bedtimes, candy, screen time etc.

"not today, we'll see if we can do it another time"

he doesn't like being the "bad guy", but he would want your boundaries to be respected. ESPECIALLY with your kids

but even if they're a little upset they can't go do something, they love him to death <3

«────── « ⋅𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐢⋅ » ──────»

i love her so much lets start out with that

so she did a baking stream around Halloween and IT WAS SO COZY

imagine doing a baking stream with her and the kiddos?? so much cuteness

she would be SO caring and attentive towards them

a lot of people tend to dismiss what kids have to say, but she would *actually* listen to them

even the made up stories they claim totally happened, she would give them her full attention

#1 cheerleader

they show her something they drew? they get a big hug and kiss on the cheek

they sing a song for her? rounds of applause

if the family went on a walk together, you and Niki would swing one of the kids back and forth between you two

(idk how to better explain that)

they LOVE staying the night at Aunt Niki's

they would stay up late together while watching movies or reading a book

You knew this happened since the kids would be half-asleep while walking out the door to your car

but you honestly can't be too upset because of the smiles on the kid's face when they tell you about everything that happened

«────── « ⋅𝐓𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐨⋅ » ──────»

Okay so you know those people that will talk to a baby like they're a full ass adult? That's Techno.

"Hello... how are you?"

he would be a little awkward around them, even if he's known them since they were born

"why is it looking at me like that?"

the kids still absolutely adore him

for what he didn't say in words, he would make up with gifts

when one of the babies are born, he would get them fluffy blankets and a stuffed animal

maybe a techno plushie?

floof!!

the kids LOVE floof!

floof is scared of the kids.

in all fairness they are terrifying.

they also get this from you

uncle is rated 5 stars on yelp!

kids are the best judge of character, so it makes sense that they cling to his every word

a/n: teehee i missed doing this xx have a good day/night babies <3

[teyvat-imagines]

Hello! Could I perhaps request Zhongli, Childe and Ningguang comforting their depressed s/o? I totally understand if you're uncomfortable with covering this subject and it's totally fine if you skip this!

Hey there! ^w^ thank you for the request, I hope you enjoy this one!

Depressed S/O

Zhongli:

○ Zhongli takes some time to try and understand the way you're feeling. He still has a fair amount to learn about being mortal, but he's more than happy to try. He'll sit there patiently, and let you talk as much or as little as you want to.

○ He of course also does his own research. He spends a lot of his free time reading up on the mental illness and the different ways it can impact someone's life. It pains him to see you struggling so, to know that your own mind is against you, and he's determined to offer any kind of help he can.

○ Zhongli tries to encourage you out of bed in the mornings. He never forces you to get up, but coaxes you out with him, taking you out for walks in the quiet morning air. It's nice, and it helps to lift the fog in your head a little.

○ On the days when you just absolutely can't get up, he stays with you. He respects your boundaries, so if you want him to hold you then he'll spend hours doing so, but if you just want him near, he'll take a seat by the bed, reading and watching over you.

○ If you struggle to take care of yourself, then he'll take care of you for you. He runs you baths, helping you wash up if you want, getting your towel and fresh pyjamas ready for you. He reassures you that he doesn't mind, he's happy to do anything that will make your life a little easier.

"My dear, I know things are difficult for you right now. Please, allow me to offer you some help. If you're struggling, then let me take care of you. I love you and we'll take this one day at a time together, okay?"

Childe:

○ It takes Childe a little longer to understand what you're struggling with. In his mind, at first, he couldn't quite see why you couldn't just force yourself up. Get some training down and push onwards.

○ He does learn eventually, and his demeanour softens a lot when he realises that you're doing the best you can just to get by each day. He'll apologises for his actions before, admitting they came from a place of ignorance, and will ask what he can do to aid you.

○ He takes to bringing you breakfast in bed on days when you're struggling to get up. He's an early riser anyway, so he's always gotten up before you and this isn't much of a change to his usual routine. Childe tries to cook your favourite meals, making a mental note if you ever tell him that a texture just isn't right anymore or if certain foods are just too much now, adjusting the menu to suit your needs.

○ Childe makes sure you get plenty of fresh air at least. Even if that just means opening the windows or sitting just outside the back door. He knows it won’t just magically fix everything, but sometimes it's nice to just sit in the quiet with the breeze on your face.

○ He makes sure he's always there to listen to you if you need to vent. Even if you can't quite explain the way you feel or the thoughts in your head, he sits there patiently and lets you get out as much as you can. He never demands that you talk or pushes you, just reminds you he's there and always will be.

"Hey comrade, no need for apologies, okay? You're doing the best you can right now and that's okay! Every warrior needs breaks, and from what you've told me, there's a lot of inner battles you're fighting. So, rest up, and lean on me for a bit. I'll take care of you love."

Ningguang:

○ She could tell you were struggling with something right away. Your enthusiasm had dropped, and you didn't seem to find anything interesting anymore. Ningguang doesn't want to push you though, wanting you to feel comfortable enough to come to her when you're ready.

○ When you're spending days in bed though, then she takes action. She sits with you and asks how you're feeling, what you're struggling with. Her tone is soft and soothing, and she'll pet your head as she listens to you talk.

○ Once she has a better understanding, she puts her mind to setting up a plan to offer you as much help as possible. While she's aware things most definitely wont always go to plan, it doesn't hurt to be prepared.

○ Ningguang sets up set times in the day for your medication, making sure you take it and giving you firm reminders to do so if you've forgotten. She's never angry with you of course, just wants to try and do her best to help you.

○ When you're struggling to take care of yourself, she'll step up and take care of you for you. She's always got water to hand ready to ensure you stay hydrated, and much like Zhongli she'll run you baths, helping you wash up and dry off.

"I know there's not much I can do to help. It's been quite a while since I've felt this powerless... But, please (Y/N), don't be afraid to talk with me. This isn't a transactional relationship after all, I love you and I want to help you while you're struggling. Let me take care of you for now, okay dear?"

[painted-crow]

hey so i'm looking to figure my sorting out. i'm p sure of my secondary but honestly i've gone in circles so many times that i'd believe anything lmao

so i guess to start like. i'm fairly sure i'm an idealist, but with a twist. i care about making the world a better place-- i'm kinda infamous among my friends for being a little TOO outspoken about my opinions. on a small scale, i have strong opinions about a lot of things, but on a larger scale... idk. i don't think any one person can know what an ideal world looks like cause there really is no such thing. there are literally countless variables when it comes to implementing even small systems, countless ways to fuck it up, so i don't think i'd be choosing some grand ideal over the people i love anytime soon.

that being said, i think my idealist streak gets directed into something else most of the time. i'm very focused on understanding myself to a fault. i want to know why i do the things i do, why i believe certain things over others. when it comes to my beliefs about the world, they're strong but take it or leave it, but when it comes to myself they are not a good idea to push. i've ended relationships over not feeling like myself with them or feeling like i'm losing myself or they're pushing me to be someone i'm not. i make strong instant decisions about what the "right" thing to do is when it comes to how it impacts my perception of myself, especially with intimate relationships (i'm a lot less impulsive with things like friends and things i'm less personally involved in). i NEED to know who i am, way more than i care about any one specific person or thing. obviously i love people very deeply and would do just about anything to have both, but if i don't know who i am, if i'm not true to myself, then i have nothing. losing people happens.

the issue is, because i'm prone to doing that and not thinking as much about how it'll impact people, i've been called selfish a lot over my lifetime. recently i've started thinking more about how my actions impact people and their feelings, and i'm feeling a lot more torn. i want to do what i want to do, what i feel is best, but i feel immature for doing it a lot. i've started worrying a lot about being a bad person and hurting people, and i've been thinking about how the "right" way to be is. i went through a phase where i was repressing myself to make the "moral" choice, but i just felt so flat. ultimately i realized that it doesn't really matter how good i am if i have to repress myself to get there, cause then all it is is performance. tldr is i feel super guilty for making "selfish" choices rn, especially as i've gotten more aware of other peoples' feelings.

what i think is probably going on is that i'm an idealist primary with a badger model, but i'm not sure between lion and bird, and i'm still open to badger. pretty sure i'm not a snake.

the section on my secondary's gonna be a lot shorter, sorry this got so long! so i'm p sure i'm a badger secondary. considered lion and snake secondary too. whatever i am, i have a p loud lion model over it. i've always had a gift for making people trust me, for acting. i kinda blend in and become what i need to to both help them and get them off my back so i can do what i need to do. i have a serious passion for helping people with tough love (i like to think of myself as a p good advice giver, since i can both tell people what they need to hear and really get in their shoes and be kind where other people might not). i think i judge myself the least when i can kinda toe that line between pushing boundaries and stepping back-- i track where peoples' boundaries are constantly so i can push them to the limit without stepping over them. i'm very fluid when it comes to presentation in reality, even though i think people actually think of me as kinda controversial. i tend to see people who are ACTUALLY overstepping boundaries as lowkey selfish at times, even though i also really respect them. i like to do things the "right" way as long as i give a shit about them. the catch is, i don't want to blend into the background, and i don't think i do. a partner of mine called me a fox cause he noticed the way i constantly toe that line where i can get people to notice me and still keep them off my back, still make them comfortable. i'm also NOT a planner. people constantly give me shit for only ever feeling things out in the moment, and honestly thinking about the future freaks me out. i don't want to plan how i do shit i'd rather just get in the zone and figure it out from there. tldr i'm pretty sure i'm a badger secondary? but i could be convinced of snake. definitely see elements of both but my gut's telling me badger so take that how you will

anyway! thank you so much for taking the time to answer this, i know it's a lot.

also sorry one thing i forgot to add about my secondary! i think my lion model got so loud because when i do the shifty presentation thing, i have a tendency to lose myself and start perceiving myself as whatever i'm presenting. it's made it really hard to figure out who i actually am and so i started just being as clear about it as possible.

for my primary, i really care a lot about being right. i try to take every side into consideration to make sure i get the best conclusion. i can be super stubborn when it comes to certain things, but i don't want to just... hold to perceptions that are wrong. that being said it's important to me to trust my gut and i take it as a big input. i'm very felt out for most things, don't really have a strong system of how to be. i really wanna be able to trust myself but i just don't. i have a big habit of relying on other people to tell me what to think, which is uh. yeah.

Primary

You're a Bird primary with a Lion model, and you're trying on some Badger ideals. That's one of the easier Sorts I've done, lol! Possibly because your primary and models actually House match mine :p

Your reasoning process screams Bird xD and so does your writing style and just the length of the ask. Birds love self-analysis, it's part of how we make sure our systems stay as close to true as we can make them.

You've got some Lion too, but it's a model. It sounds like your Lion and your Bird have come into conflict before, and like most Birds with Lion models, it bugs the snot out of you when your Lion's intuition (which is important data!) doesn't line up with what your Bird knows.

You've prioritized Bird's conclusions before, but (as with many Birds) you don't entirely trust your own system and you're wondering if your Lion might have been right and you should give its reasoning more weight.

Also, you're consciously deciding that maybe Badgers' way of doing things is more moral than yours, and you're pulling in some of those ideals. That doesn't make you a Badger primary. Birds are notorious for this kind of thing actually 😂

The line between whether some ideals you've pulled into your Bird system vs. what counts as a model is fuzzy. It's up to you really, how important those pieces of Badger are to you.

For me, I think the line might be--is it wired into your sense of self on its own, or does it get filtered through your Bird and Lion? It really sounds like your Lion is a strong part of your sense of self: if you ignore its advice, you feel not totally like yourself. You don't have to feel all your models equally strongly, but thinking of it that way might help.

(It's also hard because Birds often feel like they kind of are their systems, or they are their ability to reason, that's a core part of their identity. ...It's complicated.)

Secondary

You sound really really Snakey. I'm not sure where you're getting Badger, actually!

Badgers are more than the mirroring ability. They also bury themselves in work or community, and it can sometimes look like they're neck deep in so many responsibilities that they couldn't possibly handle any more problems--and then they do have a problem, they do need something, and they stand up and all that stuff they were buried in turns out to be armor and tools.

Snakes, otoh, are improvisational and tend to be very aware of their surroundings. Unlike Badgers, the Snake brand of social shapeshifting involves a lot of keeping track of other people's reactions to what they're doing--trying something and then watching the response, then adjusting, rinse and repeat. You turn yourself into exactly the right person for this situation.

Badger mirroring is usually simpler. You reflect the other person's energy back at them: it's an empathetic response that says we're alike, I accept you, you're safe. A lot of Badgers do this without thinking--it can be hard to turn off.

Snakes also don't go in for prep work as much, it tends to trip them up (Snakes with Badger or Bird models notwithstanding). They're Improvisational secondaries, unlike Bird and Badger which are Built and rely heavily on some form of preparation.

The Lion model sounds legit, but just check for yourself: you might be learning to use Snake's neutral state. Snakes will sometimes drop all their layers of acting and maneuvering and suddenly they're just themselves. Different Snakes have different relationships with neutral state. For some Snakes, it's a relief to drop the mask; for others, it feels vulnerable and they only trust certain people with their full authenticity.

It does sound like you really admire Lion secondaries, though, so you might indeed have a model there! This is just something else you could check on.

Hope that helps!

- Paint

[arcade-conspiracy]

Hello! I'm here to request a MHA matchup if you could please! I'm a 15 year old female but I look and act mature for my age(due to trauma *vibes with shoto in corner*) so I often get mistaked as an 18 year old or even older sometimes. Some good qualities of mine are maturity, level headedness, and then I can be motherly. Some bad traits can include bluntness, coming off as cold, and stubbornness. I'm an introvert so i hate being around crowds and speaking infront of people I also have social anxiety so that doesn't help... I would much prefer staying at home watching anime or reading than going out... More of my fun and loud side comes out around my friends or the right people. My hobbies or things I enjoy include hanging out with friends, swimming, listening to music, art, laying in bed on my phone, animals(I want to work with animals as a job), watching anime, the ocean(I love water if I could choose a quirk it would be water based), stargazing(I love galaxies, the moon and stars I find everything so fascinating), then finally goth/emo style! My music taste includes the artists, The Neighborhood, Girl In Red, The Arctic Monkeys, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, Alec Benjamin, Corpse, and Conan Gray! I'm bisexual so either gender could work but in mha I lean towards having stronger crushes on the guys and only some lighter crushes on the girls so do with that what you will. Traits I dislike in others are immaturity, impatience, disrespect, pushing boundaries, and not listening. Traits I look for in others are respect, kindness, understanding, patience, and humor. Im also very insecure and I doubt myself a lot but I'm trying to work on that! Some love languages include words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch and sometimes acts of service. I have mental and physical health issues so I would need someone who could accept and be able to handle that. I would also need someone that would accept that I have trauma as well. I would want this relationship to be a two way thing so I would try to the best of my abilities to give what they want and need back since that's how relationships are supposed to work! I think thats it... I'm sorry if I missed anything you needed or if this is to long! I understand if you don't get to me right away or at all its alright! I hope your having a nice day! Thank you!

I match you with,,,

Mirio Togata!

Okay, I may have a habit of matching people with Mirio,, but I swear it’s genuine every time!

First off, patient as heck, super understanding, and incredibly helpful

He doesn’t think any different of you because of any trauma you’ve been through or any health issues you have, those things just happen to make up who you are he loves you

He’s also totally willing to support you in whatever you need, he’s literally first in line to do so

Good luck trying to help him with his problems, though, that man bottles shit more than anyone

Would love to take you stargazing or to a beach

He’s honestly down for whatever, really, as long as it’ll make you happy and he can make corny jokes out of it

I feel he’d especially love to take you on a stargazing date, though, because it’d just basically be talking or listening to music and cuddles for however long you guys are there

Would make it a personal goal to make you laugh and joke around with him, just at all times

Always making clever jokes and finding new ways to make you laugh and smile

He’s also the number one hype man

He will always be giving you compliments. Not just on your looks, but also the amazing things you do. He notices all of them.

In conclusion: They’re so lovey and so sweet it almost makes you sick. It’s wonderful.

[yourmoonmomma]

Aww, thank you 💗💗 kind of wish we had a chance now that we’re older and not in high school, but yeah. Went out today with my family for a birthday meal (belated brother’s) was okay, mom called me negative a lot, got rushed a lot. By the end of the night had my brother and mom telling me how I should fix myself. Because my migraine from earlier came back. They’re also pushing religion onto me which is annoying, buying these special expensive beads that I won’t wear, asking a racist priest to waste my time with a horoscope reading (last time he told me what I already knew..), and do a bunch of praying to god/goddesses to make my illness and work situation better (I keep getting rejection letters/emails) so this is basically hell for me or close to it, I hate it here lmfao I don’t believe in any of this shit - no offence to people who do, I just don’t enjoy having it forced onto me without a choice, I wasn’t given the chance to learn about it in my own way or in a healthy way. All I want is to be able to stay home and have my family LEAVE ME ALONE enough for me to heal on my own so I can start dancing, and doing my workouts again (because they keep me sane) and work smarter on getting work. My family is dumb, I hate them forever. They’re a bunch of immature wounded children who blame me for everything that’s “wrong” with me. I don’t need people to analyse me and tell me what’s best for me, only I know what’s best for me. I need someone who cares and knows when to give me space.

I bought tickets for an Evanescence concert this year, planning to go alone, to get a much needed break away from my family.. now my mom is coming with me.. what’s the actual fuxking point. She’s just going to control every single detail of the night, I would rather die than to go with her

I totally get that. One of those "wrong time" feelings. I've definitely thought that before about people!!

I want to say I'm glad you had an okay night, but by the sounds of it, "okay" really means "my family treated me like shit, but I'm just kind of used to it", which isn't fair to you at all :(( they can't tell you how to fix yourself, especially when nothing is wrong with you!! (Unless their advice is legitimate good advice about fixing your migraines, but I certainly have doubts they were giving that!) It sucks so so much to have religion forced on to you. It's absolutely okay for people to believe what they believe, but as soon as they start trying to force it down your throat?? Not okay!! Especially when they act like religion can be a cure all for your migraines. I can almost guarantee praying will not be a miracle cure (though I do wish it was that simple for you!). I wish you could get far, far away from them. Maybe not forever, but just for a little bit, so you're given the space and time you need to heal!! Not just physically, but emotionally too.

NOOO I hate that so much for you omg!! I wish I could go with you instead lol 😅🥺 there's no way you can tell her not to, eh? That sucks so much :// Especially since it's so clear she doesn't respect your wishes or boundaries. I hope she lets you enjoy the concert, instead of trying to use it as another opportunity to make you feel crappy :(