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brbsoulnomming · 7 months ago

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Heart On Your Sleeve Part 7

written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!

-----

Steve's half asleep on the couch when Dustin arrives the next day, and Robin lets him in.

“Hearts out,” Dustin demands immediately.

Steve winces. “Not a good idea, bud. My ribs are-”

“It's not your ribs,” Dustin interrupts. “You think I didn't see some blood when you were waving your heart around? Don't treat me like a baby, Steve, come on.”

Robin looks at him, and Steve shrugs.

“Okay,” he says, and Robin takes his heart out from her chest.

It looks better than it did yesterday, but it's still pretty pulpy, and Dustin goes pale.

“Steve,” he whispers, voice cracking.

“It's getting better,” Steve promises.

Dustin frowns, looking between him and Robin. “Are you having trouble breathing again? Why is Robin holding it?”

“It heals better when someone else has it,” Steve says. “Some kind of science thing.”

Dustin's frown deepens, then smooths out, and he holds his hands out to Robin. “My turn.”

“Dustin, I'm not going to ask you to-” Steve starts.

“You can't ask, I'm telling you I'm going to,” Dustin retorts. “I'm the first person who carried it, remember?”

Steve looks at Robin. She shrugs, and he can feel that she's not opposed to it, so he shrugs back. She hands his heart over to Dustin. There's some fumbling as Steve gives Robin's heart back to her and takes Dustin's instead, and then -

Huh.

Dustin is just as stubborn as he's always seemed, but underneath that is a quiet fear and a sense of love deeper than anything Steve's ever felt - other than from Robin.

“Come here.”

Steve gives him a hug - or as much of a hug as he can manage - then leans back on the couch again. “Breakfast's in the kitchen,” he says, already closing his eyes.

—

The next time he opens them, it's to the sound of half a dozen gremlins talking in what's probably supposed to be hushed tones.

“How did you all even get in here?” he asks.

They jump, then Dustin juts his chin out.

“I called them,” he says.

“We are here to help,” El says solemnly.

“Dustin told us what happened,” Lucas says.

Steve grimaces. “Look, you guys don't have to-”

“Will it work?” El asks.

Steve blinks at her. “Will what work?”

“If I try to heal your heart. Dustin says he looked it up, and it works best if it's someone you care about. Am I?”

Oh, that's just cheating. How is he supposed to protest with those eyes looking at him.

“Yeah, Ellie, of course you are. It'll work.”

She holds out her hands determinedly. "I don't have my powers. I couldn't save my - my dad, but I can do this. I can help you."

And that's that.

The next thing he knows, they've scheduled up a rotation along with Robin, and taken over his house, setting themselves up to watch TV or play games or do whatever else.

He finds himself alone with El, and he looks at her for a moment before asking, “Do you like cookies?”

Of course she likes cookies.

Steve can't actually do much work, but he can sit at the kitchen table and give directions, and she determinedly follows all of them as she puts together cookie dough.

He can feel the rough edges of her grief and her hopelessness, and he tries to give back as much support as he can.

She isn't alone.

“May I ask you something?” she asks, when a batch of cookies are in the oven and they're eating cookie dough.

“Sure,” he says.

“Dustin is not your brother.”

That's not a question, but he answers it anyway. “Not the way Mike is Nancy's brother or Will is Jonathan's, no.”

She frowns. “I don't understand,” she admits. “Mike says you are brave. That he likes you better now that you're not Nancy's boyfriend. I thought - you are like Mike.”

Oh, he is definitely remembering that for later. “Like Mike how?”

“Mike stepped off of a cliff for Dustin.”

Steve's brain screeches to a halt. “Mike what?”

“There were mouth breathers - bullies. They threatened to hurt Dustin if Mike didn't jump. He did. I caught him,” she's quick to reassure him, like that's what he's stuck on. “So - I thought you are like Mike. You protect your friends.”

“Like you, too,” Steve says, deciding to table the whole Mike thing for now. “You protect your friends.”

She smiles at him, a tiny, fleeting thing before her face scrunches in confusion. “But Max and Dustin and Lucas were not always your friends. Max says you jumped in front of a demodog the day you met her. I don't understand.”

Yeah, Steve's not sure he really understands either - a feeling she must pick up, because she looks even more confused.

“I just - wanted to help.” It sounds even lamer than it did when he said that about cleaning up the graffiti at the theater, but it's what he's got. “Maybe - we don't have to be like anyone, you know? We can just be like us. We can just want to help.”

Her expression smooths out, and he can feel - she kind of likes that.

“What I like,” she says, which is clearly a call back to something else with the way she's feeling, though he has no idea what.

It's okay. He doesn't really have to know what, he thinks - they understand each other.

And they have cookies.

—

He calls Mrs. Byers, just to make sure she knows where Will and El are.

She does, of course, but he also wants to check on her.

Her voice is unsteady and thick with grief, but she tells him not to worry about her, asks how the kids are doing, how he is.

He doesn't want to worry her, either, but he tells her what the kids’ plan is, how hard they're trying to help him.

How guilty he feels about it.

She's gentle when she tells him to let them help, that they care about him and they want to be able to do something good. He promises he will, and that he'll look after them.

He wishes he could do more.

—

Mike's up next, like he wants to get it over with.

Steve wants to tease him about the whole thinking he's brave thing, but when he's hit with everything Mike feels - worry and love and pride and protectiveness and how can I keep them all safe what am I supposed to do, he finds he doesn't want to give him a hard time.

Mike's angry at him, but he's angry at him because he's scared. Because he doesn't want to like him, doesn't want to trust him, but he does.

Mike likes him a whole lot, actually.

And Steve guesses that Mike can feel his own slightly amused fondness, because the kid scowls at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Steve replies.

He thinks for a while, while Mike sullenly sits at the kitchen table with him and pretends like Steve doesn't know that he actually has feelings.

Eventually, even though he knows it's going to get him scoffed at, he says, “Do you know why teams have co-captains?”

Mike rolls his eyes. “Because they're too stupid to figure out how to play themselves?”

He tamps down on his irritation, though he knows not quickly enough, because Mike looks smug.

“So there's more than one person to make the hard choices. So if one person can't be there, the other can. So no one has to be in two places at once. So one person doesn't have to be everything to everyone,” Steve continues.

Mike scoffs, but Steve can still feel that it resonates with him. “Your stupid sports game is way less important than real life danger.”

“Yeah, sure. But so is your dragons game, and you guys use that all the time.”

He can feel that Mike wants to protest, though he also reluctantly thinks that Steve's right.

“So, what, you think we should pick captains for our Party?” Mike asks.

“Nah. You're already the party leader, right?” Steve asks. He knows that's how Mike sees himself, knows that's the pressure he puts on himself.

Now more than ever.

“But last time and this time, we had to split up, right? And you can't be everywhere.”

“You don't get it,” Mike says. “It's my job to protect them. How am I supposed to do it if I can't look out for everyone?”

“You get some help. Look - that's what I'm here for, all right? Let me help watch out for you guys.”

Mike snorts. “You?”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, I think it's worked out so far.”

Mike glances away. Whatever he's thinking of, there's the faint memory of fear and an unbidden, reluctant wash of relief, of safety.

“Fine,” he mutters. “Whatever, you're in the Party.”

Steve doesn't point out that he's already been in it, according to some of them. He has a feeling that's the most he's going to get out of Mike, for now.

It's enough.

—

It's easy, with Max and Lucas.

Probably easier than it should be.

He and Max swap, and he sits with her angry, confused grief. He can feel her daring him to say something, so - he doesn't.

He opens his arms, and he says, “Come here,” and she's exhausted enough that she does.

He hugs her tight while she cries into his chest, angry with herself for crying and angry with Billy for being so terrible and saving her life anyway. Angry with Steve, too, but that one's too complicated for him to figure out with the echoes of the feelings he gets from her.

“I'm here,” he says after a while, even though it makes her cry harder. “I'm right here.”

He sits with Lucas, after, staring at the door where El and Max have retreated to try to get some sleep.

“I don't know how to help her,” Lucas says.

He doesn't sound lost, but his heart beats in Steve's chest, and he can feel it anyway.

“Me either,” Steve admits, because he knows Lucas can feel it from him, too.

“What am I supposed to do?” Lucas asks.

Steve thinks for a moment. “Be there for her. Don't push her, but make sure she knows you're there. That you're not going anywhere.”

Some of the helplessness fades, and Lucas nods.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

They're quiet for a little bit.

“I want to try out for the basketball team,” Lucas says suddenly, then shoots an almost shy little look over at Steve at his pleased surprise.

“That's awesome, man. You want to get some more practice in after a few weeks?” Steve asks.

Lucas nods, then hesitates. “I don't think that Mike and Dustin and Will are going to like it.”

Steve frowns. “They like me okay.”

“Well, yeah, but that's different. We used to think you were a douchebag.”

It startles a laugh out of Steve. “Wow, thanks, Sinclair.”

Lucas shrugs, unapologetic. “We know you aren't now. But they're going to think I'm abandoning them.”

Steve considers. “Are you?”

“No! I'll still play D&D and stuff with them, we'll still be the Party. I want to prove you can do both. I want - I don't want people to mess with them. I want to do what you did.”

Steve swallows, suddenly a little choked up. He wishes he could blame it on his injuries, but he knows damn well Lucas can feel how touched he is.

“You're gonna be great, man,” he says when he has himself more under control. “You're gonna be way better than I ever was.”

—

When Will's up in the little rotation the gremlins have worked out, he lingers a few steps away, hesitant.

"Hey, man, you don't have to," Steve says awkwardly. "I can tell the other gremlins that you're needed at home."

Will looks at him for a moment. "Do I count?"

"What?" Steve asks.

"You didn't hunt a demodog with me, or barricade a bus in a junkyard, or fight off a bully, or go to the Upside Down tunnels, or invade a Russian bunker. You just let me into movies for free and let me hang out at your house with everyone. Is that enough?" Will's tone had been very matter of fact, but it goes a little bit more tenuous there.

"Yeah," Steve says. "Yeah, it is."

Will comes up to the table, holding his hands out expectantly, and Steve drops his heart into them.

It doesn't hurt, but by now, he doesn't expect it to. Steve's not sure he'll ever be able to thank any of the kids for this, but if Joyce is right, if being able to do something helps them after everything they just went through, then he guesses he's glad for that.

The awkwardness lingers a little after they've exchanged hearts. Probably because now they can feel an echo of each other's feelings. It makes Steve scramble for a topic.

"Mike and Lucas apologize to you yet?" Steve asks.

Will looks at him in confusion. "What for?"

"You think I didn't notice they've been kind of shitty? My money's on Mike being more insensitive about it, but Lucas has been right there with him, you know? Ditching Dustin half the time since he's been back, and before that it was always you playing fifth wheel."

Will looks a little surprised. “How'd you even notice that?”

"Because the same thing happened to me," Steve admits.

"I doubt it," Will mutters.

"It did!" Steve insists. "I had two best friends growing up. Then in middle school, they started dating, and suddenly every time we hung out I was the third wheel. It drove me nuts at first."

Will frowns. "Wait, but. You were always dating girls."

"Well, yeah, because I knew I was supposed to. I did a lot of things because it was what I was supposed to do." Steve'd liked all of them well enough, enjoyed dating them - especially once he started having sex and realized how good at it he could be - but he's not going to pretend like there isn't a reason his relationships didn't last very long.

Nancy'd been the only one he could see a forever with.

The kid's brows furrow, like he's not really sure what to do with that information.

"My point is-” Steve points at him with his spoon. “-don't let them rush you, or make you feel like you have to do something you don't want to do just to fit in with them. They're a lot better friends than mine were; they'll understand."

Will considers that. "Jonathan says I should never like something just because people tell me I should. That it's okay that I'm a freak, because he's a freak, too.”

“Yeah?” Steve asks. “What'd you say back?”

Will scrunches his nose. “I asked if that was why he didn't have any friends.”

He shouldn't, but Steve gives a little snort of laughter. Oh, no, Will is funny.

“Your brother has friends,” Steve protests, to counter his laughter. “He's got Nancy and me.”

Will rolls his eyes. “Nancy's his girlfriend.”

“Point in your favor,” Steve admits. “Still leaves me. And Robin will be his friend.”

Will toys with an apple from the fruit basket on the island. “Are you and Jonathan even really friends? It's not like you guys hang out.”

“Ouch, Byers, I thought you were the nice one,” Steve says, giving the kid a fond little smile to show he doesn't mean it. “There's different kinds of friends, I guess. Did, uh. Did Jonathan ever tell you how I got involved with all this?”

“Not really.” Will says with a shrug. “Just that you and him and Nancy fought a demogorgon.”

“That's because your brother's a good guy,” Steve tells him, then nudges the chair across from him.

It only moves a handful of inches, making Steve grimace - he'd wanted to kick it all the way out from under the table, but clearly he's not at full kicking strength. Still, it does the job, and Will takes a seat.

“I saw Nancy and Jonathan together on her bed one night, when she and I had just started dating. She couldn't tell me about the Upside Down stuff yet, but I knew she was lying, and I thought they were seeing each other behind my back.”

Will's looking at him, eyes huge, and it makes guilt twist in his stomach at the thought of what he said to Jonathan that day.

“We got in a fight the next day,” Steve admits. “I was really mean to him. So I went to your house later to apologize, and that's when I stumbled in on him and Nancy setting their trap. I gotta tell you, it was a really rude awakening, getting my apology speech interrupted by a demogorgon.”

“Try getting your bike ride home interrupted by one,” Will says dryly.

For a moment, Steve wonders if he should feel guilty bringing it up and potentially traumatizing the kid, but - Will doesn't look like he wants to be tiptoed around, and he can feel the faint trepidation from the kid's heart beating in his chest. The fear that someone's going to treat you different.

So Steve snorts instead. “Okay, you've got me beat,” he concedes. “You win the gold medal of demogorgon attacks.”

“Thanks.” It's just as dry, but Will's smiling at Steve like he said the right thing, so he'll take it. “Do I get an actual medal?”

Steve gives a surprised little laugh. “You know what? Sure. Come on.”

His pace is slow as he heads upstairs, and out of the corner of his eye, he's pretty sure he sees Will's hands twitch like he's debating trying to help him up. Steve resolutely ignores it until they get to his room, and then he unearths his first place medal from the medley swimming relay in eighth grade.

“Hang on, let me-” Steve digs around for some duct tape and a sharpie, then slaps a strip of tape on the back of the medal, pressing it down to get it to stick well. He writes demogorgan attack on the tape, blows on it to get it to dry, then hands it to Will with all the solemnity as if he was actually presenting him with a first place medal.

“Oh my God,” Will says, looking a little gobsmacked. “You're a nerd. You're one of us!”

“Hey! You spread that around, and I'll take your medal back!” Steve threatens.

“No way,” Will retorts. “Come back when you get dragged into the Upside Down by a demogorgon for dinner.”

“No thanks,” Steve says. “It's all yours.”

Will is beaming at him, and Steve kind of hates to ruin the mood - but he also really has to sit down. The downside to having them all on a rotation of heart exchanges is that he can't hide when it gets really bad.

He sits down on his bed while he can still do it without just dropping down onto the mattress. Will watches him for a moment, then carefully sits on the bed too, a foot or so away from him.

“So - that's why you and Jonathan are friends? You apologized and you fought a monster together?” Will asks.

“Yeah, I guess so. Look, there's different kinds of friends, right? There's the friends you have because you share a class together, or the ones you play the same sport - or, uh, hobby with, or the ones you just hang out with sometimes. And then there's the good ones, the ones who know you. Jonathan and I might not hang out outside of school, but I know he's got my back, and I've got his. Any time he needed me, I'd be right there.”

His feelings about Jonathan are - complicated, but that's the truth. Whatever else, Steve cares about the guy a hell of a lot, trusts him like he trusts very few others.

Steve's not sure what Will can pick up from him, but it must be enough to convince him that Steve's sincere, because he just quietly says, “Oh.”

“That goes for you, too,” Steve tells him. “Okay? You need me, I'm there.”

Will's cheeks go just a little pink, and there's a faint flutter of some kind in his heart, but Steve can't really tell what it is. “Okay.”

They're quiet for a moment, but it's not really awkward anymore - or at least, not beyond Steve trying to figure out how long before he's going to be able to get himself back downstairs without leaning on anyone.

“Did you date Nancy because you were supposed to?” Will asks after a while.

“Nancy's different,” Steve replies automatically, hearing an echo of himself saying the same thing to Dustin the day they were looking for Dart, and knowing it's just as true now as it was then, even if he's over her now - or as over her as he thinks he'll ever be.

Will mulls that over. “So - I might find a girl one day that's different, even if I've never liked girls before?”

There's something about the way that Will says it that sends him back into the Starcourt bathroom with Robin, watching her stare at him as he said but Tammy Thompson's a girl, waiting for it to click into place for him, and -

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, he thinks he's accidentally implied something he didn't really mean to imply here. He thinks about trying to stutter out a clarification, that when Steve said he did it because he was supposed to, he didn't mean that he didn't like girls - he loves girls, girls are fantastic -

But.

But there's Eddie.

Will's voice had been so small, and whatever he can feel from Steve's heart in his chest is making his eyes go wide and scared, and it -

“Maybe,” Steve finds himself saying before he really knows what he's talking about. “But maybe not. And that's - that's okay. Whoever you like, or don't like, whoever you want to date or not date, it's okay.”

Steve pauses, feels like that isn't enough, and scrunches his face up. “Unless they're like, objectively terrible. If you get a crush on some little asshole, I can and will make fun of you.”

There's a ghost of a smile there. “Like Dustin and Suzie?” he asks.

“Way worse than Dustin and Suzie,” Steve says. “I had to be nice about Suzie, because everyone thought Dustin was making her up. I'm talking no holds barred here.”

—

"Do you think that guy's dead?"

Steve doesn't have to ask what guy Dustin means. He grimaces a little, because even if he wanted to, there's no way he can lie with their hearts in each other's chests. "We blew up their lab, man, I think most of them are dead."

Dustin frowns, looking like he's not sure if he thinks that's a good enough answer.

"I guess," he says finally. Then, so quietly Steve can barely hear it, Dustin asks, "Am I a bad person?"

"What?" Steve asks, thrown. "You've saved the world how many times now?"

Dustin gives him a look. "The same amount of times that you have."

Steve bumps Dustin's shoulder with the back of his knuckles. "Saved Nancy and Jonathan, maybe, but not sure how much world saving I did the first time. You got one up on me."

Dustin rolls his eyes. "Basically the same."

"All right, all right," Steve says. "We've saved the world a few times. Bad people don't usually do that."

Dustin fiddles with the hem of his shirt. "Billy did. Kind of. He helped, at the end. Does that make him a good person?"

Shit, Steve is way too concussed for this.

"No," he says after a little while. "I don't think so. Maybe if he had more time, but I don't think one good thing that he did while he was already dying makes up for all the other bad things he did."

Dustin screws up his face in concentration, then nods. "Me too."

Steve'd really like to just end the conversation there, but he's pretty sure Dustin needs him to keep going, and, well.

He's always going to be there when Dustin needs him.

"What makes you think you're a bad person?" he asks.

Dustin stares at his hands for a little while. "I don't feel bad."

Steve tries to make sense of that for a moment, then gives up. "You lost me."

"I killed that guy," Dustin says, looking back up at him almost defiantly. "And I don't feel bad. I'm not sorry he's dead."

Guilt stabs through him so strongly that he knows Dustin must feel some of it, and he grimaces a little when Dustin frowns at him.

"What was that?" Dustin asks.

"I'm sorry that you had to do that," Steve says. "It's not fair."

Dustin scoffs. "None of this is fair."

All right, yeah, Dustin's got a point. Okay, new tactic.

"Look at me, Dust," Steve says softly.

Dustin pulls a face. "I am looking at you."

"Ugh, no, I mean look at me." Steve waves a hand at himself.

"You look like shit," Dustin tells him.

"Exactly," Steve agrees. "You know why I look like shit?"

There's an echo of something remarkably similar to the guilt Steve just felt.

"Because of me," Dustin says, voice small.

Shit.

"What? No! How is this your fault?" Steve asks.

"I pushed the Russian message thing. You only looked into it because I wanted to," Dustin says.

"That's not - I looked into it for the same reason I helped you look for Dart, okay? Because I'm in this, and we're in this together, and if there's something out there, it's going to find us. That's not your fault."

Dustin doesn't look convinced.

"There is nothing that's going to keep me away from being in this with you, okay? Even if you didn't push me. Even if you didn't even tell me. I'd find out, and then I'd be mad." He pauses. "Like, really mad. Like telling your mom you ditched me and got in trouble so she doesn't let you leave the house for a year mad."

"Okay, okay," Dustin says, but he looks happier. "So what was your point, then?"

His point?

Right, his point.

"I look like shit because of the dead guy and his buddies." Part of Steve thinks he should hedge around this, try to sugarcoat it a little, but - treating Dustin like he's a kid who can't handle this isn't going to do anything. "You saw my heart, Dustin. You think the guys who did that were just going to let me walk out of there?"

Dustin looks at him, eyes big. "No," he admits quietly.

"The only reason I'm still standing here is because of you. I mean it, man - I'd be dead without you. And it sucks that you had to do that, and I wish I could have been faster or better, saved you from being the one that had to, but I'm not sorry that he's dead, either. Maybe that makes me a bad person. Maybe I'm a bad person because I would do the same thing, because I'd have killed all of them to protect you and I wouldn't feel bad at all."

Dustin's lip quivers a little. "You're not a bad person, Steve."

"Neither are you," Steve tells him.

The kid's eyes look suspiciously wet. Steve shifts, straightening up a little and lifting his arms.

"Come here."

Dustin drops down onto the couch, squished into his side. Steve drapes his arm over his shoulder, gingerly hugging him, and pretending that he can't hear Dustin's quiet sniffles or feel the shake of his shoulders.

"You're like the best person I know," Steve says softly.

"You too," Dustin replies, voice a little wet. "You're gonna be okay, right?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna be fine."

His heart might not ever be the same, but with all of them trying so hard to keep it together and help it heal - it makes him feel pathetic, but he kind of thinks he might be even better.

It seems a good enough response for Dustin, who stays tucked in against his side, eyes slipping shut like he's going to fall asleep right there.

Steve wants to bitch about it, but he also doesn't want to move, so he just lets it happen.

"I used to be so jealous of Mike and Will," Dustin mutters sleepily after a while.

"Yeah?" Steve asks absently.

"All this sucks, and they had Nancy and Jonathan," Dustin says.

"Mmm," Steve agrees, feeling pretty close to sleep himself.

"I'm not anymore though."

"No?" Steve asks.

"Nah," Dustin mumbles. "You're way better than Nancy and Jonathan."

This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!

----

Part 8

Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt @makewavesandwar @cryptid-system @ajeff855 @mae-liz @the-fantastical-asexual @jettestar @warlordess @persnicketysquares @samsoble @my-love-of-books @mydysfunctionallife @dreamercec @holyangelstudentuniverse @breealtair @shunna @xtraordinarally @thatdamnfan @justalittledrainbamage @strangerfolks @disrespectedgoatman @amber-ambience @anxietyfulloption @thepossummoldypasta

#steddie #steve harrington #stranger things #steddie fic #robin buckley #dustin henderson #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #will byers #mike wheeler #eleven hopper #steve and dustin #steve and max #steve and lucas #steve and el #steve and mike #steve and will #steve and the party #good babysitter steve

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schrijverr · 2 years ago

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I Found Myself a Cheerleader 7

Chapter 7 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

In this chapter, Steve gets a job at the mall, while he attempts to get his life back under control. There he meets his new coworker, Robin, who seems to have an issue with him for no reason. Tentatively and rockily, they try to become cordial with each other, maybe even friends. However, trying to front a sense of normality isn’t easy and can hurt those around you.

On AO3.

Ships: eventual steddie & buckingham

Warnings: internalized homophobia, f-slur, period typical homophobia, child abuse mention

~~~~~~~~

Chapter 7: The Summer Job

Finding a job proves to be easier than Steve had expected. The mall has opened and is desperate for workers who’ll accept shit wages for the amount of work they have to do. Steve fits right in with the rest.

He’s hired the day after graduation when he is given a uniform and told to show up the next day. All his stuff is still in his car and Steve contemplates not going back to the Byers house, but it feels wrong to leave without a word after all the kindness Joyce showed him. And he’s sure that he can’t hide in a town as small as Hawkins.

Still, he doesn’t want to face any of the party right now. So, he drives out the quarry again. A part of him hopes Eddie will be there like he was yesterday, an angel in the midst of turmoil, but the hours he is there are spend alone.

When it gets late, he knows he has to get back. He can’t keep ignoring the world forever, so he’s going to have to face Jonathan and Will at some point. Plus, if he’s going to act like everything is fine, he should just do that, not hide away.

Steve can recognize that a part of him knows he is reluctant to go back, because he knows he’ll have to break Will’s heart. But he can’t be there for him right now. He can’t pretend like he’s okay with being gay, can’t pretend he’s fine after getting kicked out.

He just hopes the kid can forgive him.

With great reluctance he climbs back into the car and drives the same route to the Byers that he drove last night. He ignores how Joyce seems to be waiting by the kitchen window when he gets there. Tries not to think of how he nearly stayed away.

He walks up to the door and is let in by Will, who has clearly also been waiting for Steve. He tries not to think about that too much either, nor about the bruise on his face. It’s not the worst one he could have gotten, but it is one he had to explain in his interview earlier. He told the man hiring him it’s a basketball injury. One hit him in the face.

It’s obvious that Will is dying to ask something about it, however instructions from his mom and general politeness are stopping him. Steve decides he isn’t going to put him out of his misery and just says: “Hey, Will, good day?”

Will shrugs, looking a bit sad, though Steve doesn’t know why, and answers: “It was okay. Dustin is leaving for camp soon. He’s sad he didn’t catch you at home today.”

A stab of guilt goes through Steve. He’s been so wrapped up in his own bullshit that he forgot his favorite little guy. He loves all the kids of course, but Dustin is the one that keeps coming back, keeps smiling, keeps being happy to see him. He even convinced Steve to watch those nerd movies with him once and make a silly handshake that Steve loves more than he is willing to admit.

“I’ll radio him to say goodbye,” he tells Will with a smile.

“Alright,” Will shrugs again. Steve wants to ask what’s bothering him, but he doesn’t want to start a conversation he isn’t willing to have. So they stand at the door awkwardly until Joyce calls them for dinner.

Dinner is also quite awkward. Jonathan is there for once, he doesn’t say much, but eyes Steve with those knowing gray eyes. Even without the camera, he can make Steve feel watched.

Joyce meanwhile is trying to ignore the elephant in the room as she puts food on everyone’s plate and asks after Jonathan’s first day. Jonathan isn’t the most talkative, so that conversation dies out quite fast. She asks Will, who also isn’t in a mood to talk.

Now Joyce finds herself in the position where not asking Steve would be weird, even though she is trying not to ask and give him space. So, she gives a tight lipped smile and asks: “And you, Steve? Have a good day?”

“Got a job at the mall,” Steve answers to help her out. “Ice cream parlor. I start tomorrow, so I’ll be out of your hair for most of the day.”

“That’s nice,” Joyce says, relieved that he had an answer that wouldn't make it awkward.

“How was your day, mom?” Jonathan asks, when a silence falls again afterwards.

Joyce fills the rest of dinner with useless chatter about customers, while the rest of them eat in silence.

Steve feels bad about taking advantage of their hospitality. Upon reflection, it’s clear that Joyce feels like she owes him something for what he did. This is her trying to pay that back, but that isn’t necessary.

So, once dinner is done, he insists on doing the dishes, already trying to figure out how he can convince Joyce to take some of his paycheck.

He still needs the money if he ever wants to get his own place, but he can miss some of it to help the people who let him stay in their house while he gets back on his feet. Besides, if it all goes to plan, he can go back to his old house at some point and he won’t even need the money.

That evening Steve ensures them that he’s fine taking the couch. Joyce protests: “You can’t keep sleeping on the couch forever.”

“It won’t be forever,” Steve promises, hoping that he is right. “It’ll blow over. I’ll probably be out of here in a little bit.”

Joyce doesn’t look like she believes him, something he tries not to take to heart, since she relents and lets him sleep on the couch.

The next morning, Steve gets up early and makes breakfast, leaving it as he drives to work, so he can change at the mall, not yet wanting to face the Byers in the stupid work uniform. He picks up some foundation and applies it in the bathroom. His face looks practically acceptable now. Barely noticeable.

If he could tell himself at the start of junior year what his post-senior summer break looked like, he’s sure he would have fainted.

He feels like a fucking idiot as he makes his way to the ice cream parlor, but he also doesn’t care anymore. He’s been humiliated so much, that this barely matters anymore.

Still, he notices how he shrinks under the curious gaze of the girl behind the counter in the same uniform as him. Her eyebrows scrunch up and incredulously she exclaims: “You’re the new hire?” in a tone that gives away that she knows exactly who he is.

“Yeah,” he replies, deciding to be a bit cautious, since has no clue who she is.

“But you’re, like, loaded,” she says.

Oh- Oh, she doesn’t know he got kicked out. No one really does. This is his moment to start a new narrative. “I couldn’t get into college, my douchebag dad is making me work to teach me a lesson about hard work,” he shrugs.

“That sounds stupid,” the girl says.

“It is,” Steve agrees, because if that was the truth, he would feel like it was stupid. He walks up to the counter, glad the girl, Robin, is wearing a name tag so he can ask: “So, Robin, show me the ropes?”

Robin laughs: “Nothing difficult about slinging ice cream, Harrington. But I’ll show you how the work the till real quick.”

She goes to show him how it works, but it is not quick, nor easy. Steve doesn’t know whether he is dumb for not following her or if Robin is terrible at explaining. She continuously gets sidetracked and there is no clear order to what she says. However, as her hands fly over the machine it does exactly what she said it would.

In the end Steve tells her he’ll just scoop and she can man the till, until he figures it out. She sends him a look that tells him she thinks he’s a bit thick for not getting it, but she easily lets him take over the scooping.

The first day of working together is awful and awkward. Neither of them know what to say to each other and Steve can sense that Robin doesn’t like him much. He can’t blame her for that part, but he also doesn’t know what to do about it. She is either homophobic and thinks he’s a filthy fag or she’s a nerd, who thinks he’s asshole King Steve. Until he figures out which one, it’s not like he can say something. But he’ll have to grit his teeth, because they’re always assigned together.

However, the work itself isn’t so bad. It’s a bit of a strain on the arms, but after months of lifting girls up into the air, he is more than fine.

He also finds that his job is the perfect place to get the new Steve into the world. He’s never going back to his asshole ways, but if he can just get his reputation as womanizer back, then that will save him a bunch of trouble. And at work there are enough girls that come by.

With Robin behind the till, he has a harder time starting a conversation, but he tries as much as he can when they give him the flavor he wants.

His efforts mostly earn him confused looks by those who have heard the rumors, but he doesn’t pay them any mind. He is going to carry on and erase them. Some girls even giggle at his efforts, which feels like a massive win after the terrible week he’s had.

The next day passes much the same. Robin keeps sending him glances every time he flirts with a girl and radiates with a confused energy that has Steve on edge and not very keen to interact with her beyond what’s necessary.

On the third day, Robin breaks. She has her break, but instead of spending it in the break room, she is sitting on the little bar where the dividing window also is. She’s kicking her feet and commenting on Steve’s tilling skills. It’s a calmer moment and no one is demanding their services.

“So, why did you do cheerleading?” she asks.

Steve tenses up at the question, unsure of why she wants to know. She doesn’t sound judgmental, more curious and confused, but Steve just can’t be sure. He reminds himself of the story he’s here to tell and turns around with a shrug. “I wanted to get into their pants.”

If he wants to fool himself, he could think that Robin’s face falls a bit at his answer. But he can’t think of why that would be, so he disregards it.

“Did it work?” she asks, after a beat that lasts a second too long.

“Not really,” Steve tells her honestly, not wanting to spread any rumors about his friends. The question, however, reminds him that he still has to call Chrissy. He keeps forgetting, because he doesn’t want to rack up the Byers’ phone bill.

“Oh,” Robin says, nodding, another awkward silence filling the air.

It is broken by Erica Sinclair and her posse coming in. At this point Steve sees it as a welcome distraction, instead of watching her arrival with horror. Robin, who has been working there longer, knows to take her break to the fullest and hides when they get there, leaving Steve to fend for himself.

Still, it seems that with the question she’s been burning to ask answered, some of the tension hanging in the air dissipated. Steve doesn’t know how to describe it. It feels like Robin has stopped expecting something from him and just turned up the snark towards him. Steve can’t phantom what she might want from him, but he can appreciate her cutting words in some weird way.

When her words are directed at him, it’s more at the old idea of him, who Steve also doesn’t care for much. So, he can ignore that. Besides, her comments are funny. Her words aren’t always directed at him either.

“God, who does that,” she breathes when a customer walks away with a horrid combination of flavors on his cone.

“I know, it’s a crime, like those socks in his sandals,” Steve adds, looking over the counter with some judgment as the man leaves the store.

Robin sends him a look that is part delight, part surprise. It morphs into a grin and she says: “I should have known you had it in you.”

Steve doesn’t really know what she means by that, but smiles anyway. It feels a bit like acceptance and that is all he has been yearning for.

The interaction is basically an invitation to comment on all customers, who they don’t agree with on some level. If Steve is honest, it is most of their customers. Especially the ones that complain about everything or are just rude straight to their faces. Even doing this only three days has Steve hardened to the way people treat him and Robin.

By the end of the day, there is a tentative solidarity and working rhythm between them. Finally something positive in Steve’s life.

As they close up, they pass a pay phone and Steve stops. Robin also stops, raising a confused brow at him. He asks: “Can I ask you a favor?”

Her eyes narrow suspiciously and Steve fears he just undid the day of progress between them. “That depends. What do you want?”

“Can you call Chrissy’s house and get her mom to hand Chrissy the phone so I can talk to her?” Steve asks.

“You want me to call your girlfriend?” Robin asks, affronted. “I’m not getting involved in your nonsense, Harrington.”

“No, no, it’s not that,” Steve immediately says, a bit frantic. “She’s a sophomore, are you for real? I am not that gross, Robin.” He wishes he knew her last name, so he could do that back. “She’s my friend. And her mom is really strict. She doesn’t even know we’re friends. I promised to tell her when I got a job. I had a fight with my father, she knew about it. I just want to make her not worry.”

Robin still doesn’t look convinced, but she at least looks like she is considering it. Steve holds his breath and gives her space.

“Okay,” Robin agrees. “But I am a nervous rambler, so you have to be right there to tell me what to say and you can’t get mad at me when it blows up in our faces.”

“Thank you,” Steve smiles, glad that she at least doesn’t hate him too much to deny him this. “Just tell her that you’re Stevie and you want to speak to Chrissy, because you are planning to hang out soon.”

“Stevie?” Robin repeats with a laugh.

Steve blushes and looks away. “Yeah. It’s the only way we could even hang out together. I know her from cheer squad.”

“Sure, I’ve always wanted to be a spy,” Robin grins and goes to pick up the phone. “You pay,” she demands.

The phone rings and Steve stands next to her anxiously to listen in. After a few rings, Mrs. Cunningham picks up: “This is the Cunningham household, to whom am I speaking?”

Robin is quiet and Steve prods her, which sends her into motion. “Hi,” she squeaks. “I’m Stevie, Chrissy’s friend from cheer squad?”

“Oh, Stevie,” Mrs. Cunningham says, sounding more positive than Steve has ever heard her. “My Chrissy has told me so much about you.”

“Only good things I hope,” Robin replies. “Wouldn't want her to lie about me, because there are only good things to be heard about me. Not that Chrissy would ever lie, of course-” Again Steve prods her and Robin shuts up.

“Sorry,” she says sheepishly and Steve isn’t sure, who she’s talking to. “I was calling to speak to Chrissy. We were planning to hang out.”

“Of course, I’ll get her,” Mrs. Cunningham tells her, sounding less enthusiastic than when Robin first introduced herself as Stevie.

As Mrs. Cunningham leaves, Steve takes the phone. While he does, he hisses: “What the hell, that was terrible.”

“I already told you,” Robin exclaims. “I don’t do well under social pressure. You promised not to be mad.”

Steve isn’t sure if he is mad, it was good enough for Mrs. Cunningham to let him speak to Chrissy and that’s all he cares about. He’s just a bit surprised at the word vomit that just happened. “It’s okay,” he says.

Robin smiles at that, then leans in, wanting to listen in. Part of Steve wants to push her away, another part guesses he owes her that much.

“Stevie?” Chrissy greets.

“Hey, Chris,” Steve smiles.

“Hi,” Chrissy says, sounding brighter. “How did you get my mom to patch you through?”

“I had Robin call for me,” Steve explains.

“Robin?” Chrissy asks

“My coworker,” Steve says.

“Hi, Chrissy,” Robin yells a bit too loudly into the speaker, making Steve wince.

“Uhm, hi,” Chrissy replies.

“We work at Scoops Ahoy together,” Steve cuts in before it can get weird. “It’s the ice cream parlor at Starcourt. I work full time right now, so you can come by whenever. I’ll hook you up with free ice cream.”

“Oehh, I’m not saying no to that,” Chrissy says. “I’ll be by tomorrow, that okay? I missed your face.”

“Sounds great, me too,” Steve tells her, feeling freer than he has in a few days.

It’s quiet for a beat, then Chrissy asks: “You still staying with that friend?”

Next to him Robin makes a curious noise as he just tries not to physically recoil. He probably can’t keep up the lie for the rest of the summer, but he doesn’t want to admit it with Robin listening in and the fight at graduation fresh in Chrissy’s mind.

So, he plasters on a grin and shakes his head. “Nah, they left town on business, so I’m back home again. Don’t worry about me, Chris.”

Chrissy sighs. “I don’t think I can, Stevie. It was really scary.”

“Not that scary, promise,” Steve tries to distract as he lies. “And I was in the thick of it. It looked worse than it was.”

“You can always come here if it’s bad again,” Chrissy says.

“We both know your mom would kill me,” Steve jokes and Chrissy laughs: “Yeah.”

“I’m fine, no need for that,” Steve assures her. “Goodnight, Chris. I’ll see you tomorrow again. You can see for yourself that I’m okay.”

“Okay, yeah, ‘till tomorrow, Stevie,” Chrissy says. “Goodnight.”

They hang up and Steve faces Robin again, who is staring at him with thoughtful eyes that make Steve’s hair stand on edge. A bit harshly he asks: “What?”

Robin blinks slowly, then softly says: “That sounded serious.”

“And it’s none of your business,” Steve grouches and starts to walk away.

“I kind of feel like you made it my business, Stevie,” Robin calls after him.

He turns around and snaps: “Don’t call me that.”

Robin runs a bit to catch up and says: “Alright, alright, touchy. Just curious what happened that got her like that.”

“Got into a fight with my father,” Steve shrugs, not facing her. “It happened at graduation. She saw it. It looked more dramatic than it was, okay. That’s all.”

“…Okay,” Robin says after a silence. She doesn’t really sound like she believes him, but Steve doesn’t care if she believes him or not, he just wants her to shut up about it.

They don’t say goodbye that day and Steve goes home in a bad mood. The mood isn’t helped by Will, who has been trying to talk to him for the past three days. Steve has been managing to distract, but that is bound to run out at some point.

Will is waiting on the couch – Steve’s space in the Byers house – when he gets back. Steve isn’t in the mood, so he goes to the bathroom and takes a shower, changing into day clothes, before going into the kitchen, skipping the couch.

He’s the first one back, so he starts up dinner. It’s his way to pay back Joyce and her kindness for taking him in.

The action isn’t deterring Will, who comes and sit with him in the kitchen, watching as he cooks dinner. Those wide eyes following his every action. It’s clear there is something on his mind, but Steve isn’t in the mood to ask. Far from it, in fact. So, he says nothing.

After a few minutes, however, Will breaks the silence. In that timid, sweet voice of him, he asks: “Is it the reason your dad threw you out?”

Steve halts – it is only for a second then he goes on, but he knows Will noticed it – and grits his teeth. He wants to snap, take out his emotions on Will, be mad at him like he wanted to rage at Robin and her curiosity, or at Chrissy for being worried, both of them reminding him of what he is trying to ignore. But he know he can’t. Will doesn’t deserve that.

Will can’t help that Steve hates himself, hates his father, yet also wants his approval, how he hates that he can’t be normal. And Will definitely doesn’t deserve that self hatred when that is also hatred against him.

But Steve also can’t confirm it. He can’t bring himself to make it real, to speak it into the world like he had with Eddie. Eddie, who made it easy to admit, to feel it, to talk about it. He misses how he feels with Eddie around. Because right now, he doesn’t feel like that. Right now he feels cornered and afraid.

“I don’t know what you mean,” is what he settles on. It’s not a denial, not the hurtful truth, but a dismissal.

They’ve never confirmed and always talked indirectly, both of them understanding what they’re talking about. Today, however, Steve is playing dumb. He is good at playing dumb. And right now, he hopes that Will is as conflicted as he is, too conflicted to actually say it. To ask it again this time with explicit words.

It’s the coward’s way out and Steve knows it. He can’t bring himself to look Will in the eye.

“Oh, okay. Nevermind,” Will says and Steve can hear the hurt that hides under the surface, as well as the confusion, but, most importantly, the defeat. Like he believes Steve truly doesn’t know what he means and he’s all alone again, but he knows he shouldn’t have expected anything else.

That tone breaks Steve’s heart and he wants to reach out. Wants to spin some tale about how it will all work out and he just got to hold on and it will all get better.

But Steve can’t.

He wants to, truly he does. But he can’t lie to Will, because Steve doesn’t like himself, he doesn’t like that he can’t bring himself to change. And he doesn’t believe that it will get better. He might have two weeks ago, but not now.

So, he keeps cooking and doesn’t look as he hears Will walk off, before a chair scrapes at the kitchen table and he sounds of crayons starts up.

They do their own thing like that until Joyce comes home. She asks Will about his day and gets him to talk about how Lucas and Max broke up again and how Mike couldn't come, because he was off with El, as Joyce tries to bud in with dinner, but Steve doesn’t let her. He’s content to stay in the background as Joyce fusses over Will, he’s sure the kid can use it after their conversation.

Dinner is as stilted as always. Steve can’t bring himself to lean into the care Joyce is offering him out of guilt or sense of owing, but Joyce keeps trying. This night Jonathan is off to eat at Nancy’s house and Will is quieter than normal.

Steve gladly turns in early, pretending to sleep for a long time in the hope he’ll be left alone by the two Byers in the house. At this point it’s a miracle he hasn’t woken up screaming yet. Though the Byers would at least know why and likely leave him be if he asked. He has graciously ignored Will and Joyce drinking hot chocolate in the middle of the night by pretending to sleep.

The next day, he takes care in covering the bruise. It is already starting to turn yellow, which helps in hiding it. He isn’t looking forwards to seeing Robin again, but he’s excited about Chrissy coming by, even if he’s wearing the stupid uniform.

When he gets there Robin isn’t there yet and he sets up in peace. A peace that is interrupted about five minutes in when it is broken by the arrival of Robin. She greets him like nothing happened yesterday and maybe in her mind it didn’t.

“Hi,” Steve decides to greet back. It’s civil enough and if he gives himself a second, he’s sure he can pretend as well. It wasn’t that bad anyway, Robin doesn’t know why he’s on edge about being questioned like that.

They settle back into their work rhythm and when Robin doesn’t bring it up again, he manages to relax and bitch with her again.

Around noon is when Chrissy walks into the parlor. She’s in a light green summer dress and looks absolutely stunning. It’s Robin, who spots her first. She trips over air and loudly bangs into the counter, causing Steve to look around. He light up and calls out: “Chris!”

“Stevie,” Chrissy grins, skipping up to the counter. Robin is there, staring at her as Steve hustles her to the side, frowning at her a little.

“Ahoy,” he says, dorkily tipping his stupid hat.

As expected it makes her giggle and she exclaims: “I can’t believe that’s the uniform. Sorry, but you look ridiculous.”

“I know,” Steve rolls his eyes fondly. “How are you doing, Chris? What flavor can I get you? On me, promise.”

“Again, not saying not to that,” Chrissy smiles, reading the signs, before picking strawberry. “Is your job fun?” she asks as Steve scoops. The question feels a bit like one you’d ask an acquaintance, the past few days hanging like an invisible barrier between them.

“Could be worse,” Steve shrugs, handing her the cone. “Some people are shit.”

“Tell me about it,” Chrissy says. “My mom can get so mad. It’s embarrassing to be seen with her when she does that.”

Steve barks out a laugh, the tension seeping away from them. He leans over the counter and says: “I somehow can imagine that very well. No offense to your mom.”

“Oh, full offense to her,” Chrissy laughs as well.

It isn’t busy and Steve clings to that calm as he takes as much time as he can get away with just chatting with Chrissy. Talking with her makes him feel normal again. They discuss what the cheer squad will look like next year, how Chrissy will have to get used to two bases again, and the rumor that coach Miller has a boyfriend now.

Steve notices Robin hovering in the background. She is oddly quiet, letting Chrissy and Steve catch up without blabbering on. Steve is grateful to her for that.

However, the calm doesn’t last forever and when more people come in than Robin can handle alone he gives her an apologetic smile. “You’re more than welcome to hang around, but I get off late, so it’s not really worth it.”

“I’ll go look around the mall,” Chrissy says brightly. “I probably won’t stay until the end of your shift, but I’ll come by before I leave.”

“Have fun,” Steve calls after her as they wave each other goodbye.

After she has left, they’re up to their neck in people wanting ice cream to flee from the growing early June heat. However, once the hustle has died down again, Robin turns to Steve and asks: “That’s Chrissy?”

“Yeah, who did you think Chrissy was?” Steve replies, a bit confused. He doesn’t think Chrissy looks that intimidating or weird, she looks like every girl out there. Is there something he’s missing that Robin sees? Is it a girl thing?

“Well, I mean- I guess- I don’t know,” Robin splutters. “I’m not involved with the cheer team. I do band. Guess, my image of cheerleaders is different than Chrissy.”

“No need to be so defensive,” Steve frowns. “She’s nice.”

“I believe you,” Robin squeaks.

Steve studies her closely, looking more confused. He doesn’t know what is up with her and why she’s weird about Chrissy. He already noticed she was a little bit quieter today and she seemed surprised by Chrissy. Maybe it’s because she does band and has a weird idea about more popular kids? Yeah, that must be it.

“Just because she’s a cheerleader, doesn’t mean she’s a bitch,” he tells her. “I’ll introduce you when she comes by again. You’ll see.”

At that Robin makes a weird noise, but nods, which is enough for Steve. He doesn’t care that much about Robin’s opinion of most popular kids, but he does care about Chrissy and he wants her to be liked.

It’s soon after that Chrissy come by again. She’s smiling brightly and holding a few bags. She sheepishly says: “I might have explored the mall too thoroughly.”

“Did you at least buy stuff you actually want?” Steve laughs at her.

“Yeah,” she lights up and shows him a few skirts and shirts that she bought as well as a new outfit for cheer practice. “I know it’s not going to be the same without you there, so this is to cheer me up,” she informs him. “And I can wear it if we practice together. If- if you still want to do that, of course.”

Steve wants to shut that down. He is building a new image here and cheerleading isn’t part of that, however he isn’t ready to let go of that. Cheerleading has been his happy place throughout some of the worst months of his life and he doesn’t want to give that up. Doesn’t want to let go of this friendship he has with Chrissy. So, he smiles: “Of course I want to, Chris. Don’t be stupid.”

“Yay,” she says with a bit smile. Actually saying the word yay out loud.

Behind Steve Robin makes a noise that might be laughter or her choking to death. Steve isn’t sure and turns around to see her looking a bit red. Probably choking, he guesses. But it also reminds him of going to introduce Robin.

“Oh, Chris, this is Robin, the one that called your mom for me,” he says, pointing at Robin, who gives Chrissy to most awkward smile and wave combo Steve has ever seen in his life. He has already noticed how clumsy she is, but she truly elevates it to a new level.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” Chrissy greets, turning her smile onto Robin, who just nods again.

Steve frowns at her, then says to Chrissy: “She’s usually harder to shut up, but I think her lunch fell funny.”

That’s enough to earn him a squawk and a push from Robin, who tells Chrissy. “Don’t listen to him, me and my lunch are perfectly happy together.” A statement that gets a giggle out of Chrissy as Robin stares at her with wide eyes.

She’s an odd girl, Steve decides, before inserting himself into the conversation again.

With the ice broken between them conversation comes easier. Steve knows Robin isn’t being as bitchy as she usually is and even Chrissy is toning down her rough edges, but he can see the two getting along.

He, himself, is starting to warm up to Robin too, as long as she stops her prodding, which she might. He hopes so at least. Anyway, the point is, it would be nice to have more friends and actually get along with the girl, whom he’s going to be stuck with for the rest of the summer. And if that girl and his admittedly best friend could get along too, that would be extra lovely. As he’d seen on the cheer squad, girls fighting could get mean.

But he doesn’t have to worry about that, they’re getting along, even teaming up against Steve at some point. Which is rude, honestly.

Chrissy does have to go home after a while. Robin is distracted by Erica Sinclair and her gang, when Chrissy decides to go, giving the other girl a quick goodbye. Then she turns to Steve and asks: “Can we have a sleep over together soon? We can order pizza and watch stupid movies and I can annoy you with my crushes.”

Steve aches to agree. He knows how she has been stuck with her mother while Steve sorted himself out and he wants to help out. The sleepovers have been a haven for both of them. However, Steve can’t even get into his own house and he’s lying to Chrissy that he can.

“I don’t know if I can manage soon, but I’ll tell you the moment I can,” he settles her, trying not to let the way her face falls slightly get to him. “But you can hang out here every day. I’ll even buy you lunch on my breaks, promise.”

That cheers her up a bit and she says: “I’m holding you to that, Stevie. See you tomorrow.”

“See you,” Steve says as he watches her leave.

Soon, he and Robin are closing up Scoops Ahoy, both of the seem to be lost in thought and Steve is grateful for it. He doesn’t need another interrogation from Robin.

Instead of driving straight to the Byers house, he makes his way to Loch Nora, hands tight on the wheel as his old house comes into focus.

He hasn’t been here since he got kicked out and a part of him thought his parents might still be around. Might want to stay with Steve out of their way. But it seems not, because the house looms over him as empty and dark as it has always had.

His body isn’t doing as told, so he climbs out of the car with jerky movements, having to fumble with the keys. He still hasn’t gotten around to trading his car, but so far it’s still unharmed. It must be hard to find among the masses at the mall, he muses.

Thinking about his car isn’t as big a distraction as he hoped it would be. He’s still standing in front of a familiar door, the keys jangling with how much his hand is shaking. Steve isn’t sure what will be worse, the door opening or it staying closed. The fact that his parents didn’t care enough to even bother fulfilling their threats or if the only time they cared was to fulfill them.

Slowly, he brings the key to the door. It goes in for a bit and Steve’s breath catches. Then the key stops moving and no pressure Steve dares to put on it can get it further.

They changed the locks.

His parents, who have never been home for more than a few days in years, cared to changed the locks, just to keep him out. Their hatred for who he is, is bigger than the indifference they have always had towards him as he tried his hardest to make them proud. All he had to do to get their attention was disappointing them too much to ignore.

Tears make his vision blurry and not for the first time does he wish that he can change, that he can stare at a girl and feel what all his friends always seemed to feel. That he could like Nancy the way he fooled himself into thinking he did. That he could be what his father wanted.

The last thought sends a wave of anger through him. He has tried so fucking hard, he’s still fucking trying and it’s not going to be enough. It never is.

So, he pushes away the tears, not willing to cry. He’s still going to try and find a girlfriend just to get rid of the target on his back, but he is refusing to cry over his parents changing the locks. He isn’t going to give them that.

Steve turns around pointedly and stalks back to his car, before driving to the Byers house where Joyce is already cooking. He greets her and Will, who is drawing at the table, only Joyce greets him back and he tries not to let that get to him either.

He takes a quick shower and changes into his normal clothes. His insides are still all messed up, but he is determined not to make dinner awkward again. He is still a Harrington (at least, he thinks so) and Harringtons play their part. He can use that bit of upbringing to make the Byers happy in their own home while he stays there.

When he gets back to the kitchen, Will has retreated into his room. It hurts more than Steve is willing to admit.

That evening passes as so many others have done. Though Steve is making more of an effort to talk, which is appreciated by Joyce, who is more fun to talk to than Steve had realized before today. He still doesn’t believe she cares that much about him, but he likes talking to her anyway.

The next morning, he rolls off the couch and into his uniform, covering his bruise once more, before driving to the mall. He’s going to see that mall more often than he would like this summer, he thinks as he sighs.

A/N:

I love Steve as a queer mentor for Will, trust me I do and I’m gonna try and make it happen later, but you gotta be in the Right Place to be that for someone and Steve definitely isn’t right now. And yeah that hurts Will, but it hurts Steve too and it isn’t his fault that he isn’t ready. Queer reality is messy and I wanted to show that <3

Also, I am dying about Robin and Steve before they became besties, it’s so weird to writeeee ahhhhh

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