#steve my sweet suicidal baby

[lnsfawwi]

"he is willing to die for everyone": life and death for stevebucky

I wrote this because I saw a post that said something like "'A's willing to die for B'. A is willing to die for everyone, what's the big deal about the ship." it's not about stucky or any ship, but this has always been on my mind.

throughout the trilogy, they have quite different attitudes towards life.

steve to some extent has always been ready to die, partly because he has had brushes with death multiple times since he was a kid. as rebellious as steve, he probably feels like being afraid of death is a sign of weakness, so he stands up to it and dares death to finally take him. that sentiment evolved to full blown passive suicidal tendency after bucky's death. another reason is that since he became cap, he understands that he's meant for something larger than life and certainly larger than himself, he's accepted that he'd one day die for the greater good.

bucky is the opposite, he clearly wants to live. in the cut scene in catfa he ordered the unit to surrender bc they'd have a better chance of surviving that way than going up against hydra alien weapon. after caws, he was trying to find a reason to live when many people in the same situation would've just ended it (and bucky thought about it too).

which brings me to my point. for someone who's so ready to sacrifice himself, bucky is steve's reason to live, while the love for steve always trumps bucky's will to live.

like I pointed out in a previous post, even when he had no idea what he was capable of, steve jumped through fire for bucky. whereas when it was peggy who pleaded, begging him to find a way to survive the plane crush, he didn't even try.

in the same scene, bucky, who just survived weeks of torture and had a clear way out of there, refused to leave without steve, knowing full well that they could both end up dying.

sebastian made it clear that bucky only stayed because of steve. in a way, bucky knew that if he died it'd be for steve, not for the country or the greater good, just steve. and that's the only acceptable way to die in a war that he'd grown sick of.

yes, steve was willing to die at bucky's hands in that helicarrier, but alternatively, he was also leaving the choice to live completely up to bucky. the scene can be interpreted as steve telling bucky "if you remember me, save me. save us." there was only one way steve would survive, there was only one reason steve would be willing to live and that was bucky. remember that steve was so ready to die with bucky when he told maria to "fire now". bucky was the only reason he even tried to survive this.

in civil war, bucky had been trying so hard not to kill himself and build a normal life. he must've wanted to go back to steve at some point and rebuild their relationship together. but as soon as he realized not everyone was going to get out of siberia alive, he told tony "I remember all of them" so tony would go after him instead of steve. he was trading his life for steve's.

one thing about superhero ships is that, yes, they are totally willing to die for anyone. steve would totally be willing to die saving a single person from a collapsing building, but bucky is his reason to find a way to not die saving that person.

bucky is as much as hero as steve, he continued to fight when he could've just butted out and no one would've said a thing. for bucky, he wants to go home after the fights, but as long as steve is still out there risking his stupid ass, bucky will make peace with death and follow steve anywhere.

[thepunkranger]

Resident Evil Characters - A Summary

Note: This is entirely my own opinion and said with a heavy dose of humor

Please enjoy

Chris Redfield

OG

Started as a twunk

Became an angry gorilla man???

Alpha Male™️

Punches boulders

Wants you to marry his sister

Smoker

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

Rude to wait staff

2/10 - Just a guy. Hit him with your car

-

Jill Valentine

Other OG

Arguably better main of RE1

Master of Unlocking

Bisexual Bob™️

Butch

Supercop

Once got mind-controlled into going blonde

Rocket Launcher babe

PTSD

Big Strap Energy

Giant anime gun

10/10

-

Albert Wesker

OG Baddy

Sunglasses

Thinks he’s cool

A little too into Chris

“What are we going to do this game, Albert?”

“What we do every game, Alex: try to take over the world”

Matrix jacket

Maybe a vampire?

Looks like my uncle (derogatory)

4/10

-

Barry Burton

Bear

A+ line delivery

Just happy to be a part of things

Wishes his daughter would talk to him

Comes through in a pinch

Got lost on his way to The Last of Us

Father figure

Not dead out of sheer dumb luck

8/10

-

Rebecca Chambers

Baby butch

Sees the best in everyone

Autism be damned, my girl can work a shotgun

Sporty

Mommy Domme/Babygirl switch vibes

Sweet coffee addict

Doing fine, thanks for asking

Awkward thumbs up

9/10

-

Billy Coen

Bad Boy™️

Never bothered to take off his handcuffs

Tattoos

Mullet???

Moral standards

Strong silent type

Whole situation could’ve been avoided by just talking about his issues but no

Queen fan

7/10

-

Leon S. Kennedy

If a golden retriever became a human and then got kicked every day of its life

Having a really bad first day

Into dominant women

Dumb 90s haircut

Uses comedy as a coping mechanism

Hair grows in direct correlation to his level of angst

“Hey demons, it’s me, ya boi”

Sexy

Dog lover

Certified Good Boy™️

Fucked up a perfectly good rookie is what you did. Look at it, it’s got depression

15/10

-

Claire Redfield

College student stuck in the zombie apocalypse

Soft butch

Humanitarian

Forced her brother to teach her how to knife fight

Really into motorcycles

Leather jacket

Rocket Launcher babe #2

Always has at least one adopted child with her

10/10 would ask to babysit

-

Ada Wong

Mommy. Sorry. Mommy- sorry. Mommy-

Grappling hook

Badass spy

Emotionally distant

Soft spot for cute cuddly things (Leon)

Femme fatale

Book lover

Chaotic neutral

Crossbow 😍

Could step on me and I’d say thank you

Rocket launcher babe #3

10/10

-

Sherry Birkin

Goosebumps protagonist

Worst parents ever tbh

Surprisingly good under pressure

Please someone get this girl some therapy

Supergirl

Smartest person here

One hell of a shot

The trauma is immeasurable

Somehow still doing fine

Loves her weird adopted family

8/10

-

Carlos Oliviera

Himbo

First POC main?

Went from three polygons and a white boy haircut in the original to actual gorgeous South American hunk in the remake

Lost his accent along the way for some reason

#1 Jill simp

If Dug from Up was a guy

Only trustworthy person in the whole series

Just wants to help

Gorgeous gorgeous hair

Loves strong women

Hakuna matata

Touch-starved

10/10 would peg

-

Steve Burnside

Twink

Who is this sassy lost child?

Hot Topic employee

Into Claire (she’s too old for you bud)

Choker

Thinks he’s edgy

Whiny

Daddy issues

1/10

-

Luis Serra Navaro

If Puss in Boots was a human

The Most Extra™️

Luscious flowing locks

Definitely into bondage

Used to work for Umbrella

Trying to make up for it

Don Quixote references

Bisexual

Good with his hands

Praying for a threesome with Leon and Ada

10/10

-

Ashley Graham

Basic white girl

Always getting kidnapped

Master of Unlocking #2

Razor flip phone

Ada Wong bisexual awakening (same)

Good with a wrecking ball

Makes Leon catch her every time she has to jump a ledge (also same)

Would like to go to Hot Topic, please

7/10

-

Sheva Alomar

Player 2

Second POC main

Bad AI

Too good for her game

Willing to go on a suicide mission with a guy she just met

Left handed

Deserves a better stylist

Only good part of RE5

Literally my girl got done so dirty just give her another chance please

10/5

-

Moira Burton

“It’s not a phase, dad!”

Probably gay

Weak arms

Skillz

Box dyed her hair at least once

Simple Plan playing in the background

Childhood trauma

7/10

-

Piers Nivans

Trying his best

Appreciates a good steak

Sick of Chris’ bullshit

Good with a rifle

Just a good man

German Shepherd boy

Self-sacrificing

8/10

-

Jake Muller

Wesker’s son

Daddy issues

Who invited Ronan Lynch here?

Quips for days

Bad boy

Loves the type of woman who can kick his ass

The Most Edgy™️

9/10

-

Ethan Winters

Husband of the year

Trusting

Surprisingly chill

The most basic white man in all of RE

Hands? What hands?

Functionally a lizard

Would still love you if you were a worm

Just casually knows how to craft bullets

Moldy

8/10

-

Mia Winters

Toxic girlfriend energy

Literally possessed

Dark sense of humor

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Casually working for a bioterrorism organization

Does actually care about her family

Definitely doesn’t have a penicillin allergy

If you can’t be the girl of his dreams, you can at least be the feral swamp witch of his nightmares

2/10

-

Zoe Baker

Lesbian

Mold intolerance

Southern accent thicker than grandma’s gravy

Picked last on the playground

Somehow okay despite her brother being Like That

Joe’s favorite

Science skills

8/10

-

Lucas Baker

Jigsaw

Didn’t even need the mold

Probably got at least one true crime documentary made about him

Working for Mia’s bioterrorism organization

Left his classmate rotting in the attic

Just the worst

0/10

-

Alcina Dimetrescu

Mommy

Please step on me

Elizabeth Bathory vibes

Just fucking huge

Can turn into a dragon

Lesbian

9/10

-

Karl Heisenberg

Grimy

Tumblr Sexyman

When robotics majors get weird

Fights with his siblings

Doesn’t actually care at all about Miranda

In cahoots with the lycans

7/10

-

Rosemary Winters

Mommy and Daddy issues

YA protagonist

Badass

Childhood trauma

Into the Mold-verse

Alternate universe Sherry Birkin

8/10

[her-power]

Last Chance to Dance (Part Three: Rockstar! e.m. x fem reader)

🚨🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Last Chance to Dance Part One Part Two

Summary: Full Summary on Part One

Word Count: 4.9k

I feel your hands on my waist before I open my eyes, your fingers trace a line down my abdomen, stopping above my pelvis. I let out a soft gasp and smile into the pillow. I feel your lips graze against my shoulder, leaving soft kisses. I feel you press your breasts against my back and your hand slinks down, grasping my length in your hand, gently fisting up and down. A soft moan escapes me, and your lips press against my neck. Your hands are soft, delicate and you pump me faster. I groan, turning my face to you, pressing my lips to yours. I turn on to my back, holding your face in my hand to deepen the kiss. 

“Mmmm.” I moan against your lips. “What a way to wake up.” 

You smile at me, pushing your body into mine. I hook your leg around my waist, kissing you deep. You continue to pump me with your hand while grinding against me; I can feel the wetness between your legs. I move myself on top of you; bringing your nipple into my mouth, squeezing your breasts and you moan softly. I grip your ass, kissing you deeply and I rub my hand against your clit and your opening. I groan loudly and push my cock inside you. You let out a gasp and I smile against your lips. It had been like this since yesterday; the snowstorm had finally let up this morning, but the plows had yet to come down the streets. I planned on shoveling out your car, but ever since we made love, we haven’t been able to stop. It was Christmas Eve, and I don’t think I’ve been sober for a holiday in ten years. I feel a small ache in my chest, and I pull away from your lips for a second to look at you. Your fingers curl through my hair, and I run my hand along your face, your jaw. I slowly rock my hips and your head falls back in pleasure; I continue to stare at you. How could this be real? How was it possible that fifteen years later we had found each other again? Over a letter? My eyes flutter close, and I bury my face in your shoulder, thrusting faster, you feel so good. 

I remember us back then, how young we were, full of life. There was so much passion, even when we fought. It was always the little things we fought about, how you knew how to get under my skin, and I knew exactly what buttons to push.  We had left Steve’s house after a house party. Well, you had left, because I was an asshole, and I had chased after you. It was pouring out. It was the middle of summer, but the rain was cold. 

“Baby, come on! I’m sorry!” I chase after you, stumbling over my own feet because I’m a little drunk. You’re drunk too, but you know how to handle yourself because you are a fucking champ. 

“You’re sorry.” You scoff, you’re picking up speed. “Sorry, sorry, sorry. You’re always fucking sorry!” 

“Stop, stop, stop.” I’m able to catch up with you and stop in front of you. The rain soaks the both of us, your black dress stuck to your skin, I could tell you were shivering. “You’re shivering, come on. Let’s go home.” 

“I’m not going home with you; I’d rather sleep outside.” You push past me, and I groan. 

“You’re seriously making a big deal out of nothing.” 

“Nothing?!” You turn towards me so fast it startles me, and I stumble backwards. “You told Steve that I’m a better fuck when I’m high!” 

“Baby, I was kidding!” I say, trying not to laugh. “It was a stupid joke. I didn’t mean it, I meant to tell him when you’re high, you get wild. And the sex is great—"

“Oh, because that makes it better! Get away from me.” You scoff, shoving me away. “I know he’s our best friend, but it would be nice if you kept our sex life private, that shits embarrassing.” 

I’m getting annoyed now, I was wet, cold, I felt like a drowned fucking rat. “Oh, but it’s okay for you to tell Robin I like getting fingered in the ass?” 

You stop walking and turn towards me. “She wasn’t supposed to say anything, and I was drunk when I told her that.” 

“I’m drunk now!” I almost laugh. “Baby, do you hear yourself? This is so stupid.” 

“You told Steve I was better at fucking when I was under the influence! That is not the fucking same! That’s YOU saying that I’m boring when I’m sober. That’s fucked up.” Your wet hair is sticking to your face, the rain is getting heavier, and I can see how cold you are. I’m able to grip your upper arms and you tense under my touch. 

“Sweetheart, you are the girl of my fucking dreams. Sober, not sober, you rock my fucking world.” You stare at me, your eyes darting from my eyes to my mouth. You lean in like you’re about to kiss me. 

“Liar.” You whisper under your breath and pull yourself out of my grip, turning away from me. I roll my eyes and groan. You’re walking faster away from me but still talking. “You can’t get shit past me. I may be fucking you now, but I’ve been your best friend since diapers, so I know when you’re full of shit.” 

“So, this is just what we’re doing? Just fucking? Nothing else?” I’m angry now, how dare you think that. 

You turn towards me, walking backwards. “I don’t know, you tell me Eddie. I feel like you have a fucking magnet to my vagina everytime you see me since we started having sex! I feel like that’s all you want from me.” 

“That’s not all I want from you, are you being serious right now?” I stare at you with my mouth open. “You’ve known me your whole life and you think it’s just the sex for me?” 

“What else could it be?” You sneer at me, and I shake my head, I’m pissed now. 

“Fine, think that. I’m not fucking stopping you.” Thunder booms in the distance and you storm away from me. We go opposite directions; you head towards your house, and I go to my trailer. Wayne was working another overnight and I was grateful I didn’t have to have a conversation. The rain was hard against my face as I run the few steps to the trailer. I run inside, the screen door slamming behind me. I pull my wet t-shirt over my head and toss it towards my room and light up a cigarette. My hair drips onto my skin and I grab a towel, squeezing out the wetness from my curls. The cigarette dangles from my lips and I almost choke on the smoke when I hear the screen door open and close, and you’re standing there, soaking from head to toe; your hair all over your face, your skin damp. You’re glowering at me, your chest heaving like you ran here. I put out the cigarette in the sink as we stare at each other. I walk towards you slowly and your eyes are still fixed on me like a wild animal. I grip your upper arms, and you try to move away from me, but I hold you in place. My mouth is inches from yours, and you sneer at me. 

“I really can’t stand you.” 

“Then why are you here?” I whisper to you; I tease my lips over yours and you groan. You pull me towards you by my hair, and we end up crashing into the kitchen counter. I hoist you up by your thighs and you kiss me desperately, wrapping your legs around me tight. You pull away from me again and are still glowering at me. 

“I really hate you.” 

“Yeah? Why don’t you show me how much you hate me?” I crash my lips against yours again, and your hands find my waist, pulling me closer. My hands go in between your legs, and you moan loudly. I push your underwear to the side; they were soaked from the rain and from you. You push me away by my chest, your hands in a hurry to undo my belt. I lean my palms against the cabinets next to your head, watching as you unzip me and pull down my pants, exposing my hardness. You kiss me again, pulling me towards you by my ass. I can see your nipples through the wet fabric of your dress, they peaked so nicely, I lean down and nip them through the fabric. You gasp and hold the back of my head, my fingers tickle your clit, and you moan against me, grabbing my dick. I scoot you towards me, holding your face in my hand. Your head falls back as I push myself inside you, and I groan. I fuck you against the cabinets, feeling every inch of your walls and feel your fingers claw my back. 

“I hate you.” You moan. “Fuck-I…” 

“Ungh, you feel so fucking good. Hate me all you want, baby, you’re not stopping me.” I moan when you grab my ass, pushing me deeper. You kiss me hungrily, opening your mouth wide, fighting my tongue with yours. I slam into you harder, your body thumps against the cabinet. “Mmmmm, like that baby?” 

“Fuck…yes…ohhhhh…” you bite my shoulder and I gasp, rolling my hips faster. The squelching of your wetness and the sounds of my balls hitting your cunt as I slam harder sends a blaze of euphoria through my entire soul. 

“Ohhh, fuck. Oh fuck. I’m gonna cum.” I groan against your shoulder, and I feel you move your hips with me. “Fuck yeah baby, just like that…unghhhh.” 

“Cum inside me, baby. I want my pussy to swallow you whole.” You say, staring deep into my eyes. I smile at you, my thrusts getting sloppy and I feel your pussy clench around my cock and you’re screaming. And I mean SCREAMING my fucking name and it sends me into a fucking spiral of madness and lust that I explode my entire load into your pussy, still fucking you. Not stopping for breath, your nails cut up my back as another orgasm cries out of you and you’re holding on to me while I hug your waist tightly. Our sounds loud and pornographic and it feels like the entire trailer is shaking. I pull myself back to look at you, moving your wet hair from your eyes. Your lips are parted as your breath comes out in waves. I hold your chin with my fingers, gently grazing my lips over yours.   

“Do you still hate me?” I whisper. 

“Always.” You say, licking my lips. 

I groan, smiling. “Good.” 

Down, down, down… I can hear them outside my door listening. They think I can’t hear them but I’m smarter than them. They’re trying to taunt me. They’re trying to break inside my head and feast on my brain. 

Both my arms sting as I crawl on my hands and knees underneath the windows. 

They try to mock your voice, getting me to open the door. You wouldn’t be here. You don’t even know where I live. What would you think of me right now? I wonder. Crawling on all fours, hiding from these imaginary creatures that are trying to feast on me. 

It’s not real. 

I’m not real, so they’re not real. 

We have two weeks off before we hit the last five cities of the tour. I’m in my cabin, in upstate New York. 

I bet these creatures followed me from the woods after my walk. 

What if Gareth sent these things? He hates me now, I’m just a junkie in his eyes, who still knows how to put on a good show so he can suck my dick. 

I had met my dealer yesterday; I was low on cash, he was willing to give me a discount if he could suck me off, so I let him, and then he wanted me to fuck him, so I did that too. 

Men, women, it didn’t matter anymore. If I got something out of it, I didn’t care what I put my dick in. 

They’re chatting outside my door now. I need to stop the noise. I crawl to my coffee table, blindly searching for a needle. 

I find one, and my stash, loading up the chamber with the drugs. I go to the bathroom to look in the mirror, my veins in both my arms are fucking sore, so I find a good one in my neck. My eyes flutter close, and I smile, awkwardly stumbling back to my living room. I couldn’t even feel the sweet burn anymore, it was almost like the burn was just built into my now. 

I sit on the couch. 

It’s quiet again. 

Thankfully.

I can’t handle the noise again. 

“Generals gathered in their masses…just like witches at black masses, evil minds that plot destruction…” I sing the beginning of War Pigs by Black Sabbath under my breath as my head lulls back against the couch. My phone buzzes in my pocket; I slowly take it out of my pocket and put it to my ear. 

“Eddie?” It was Ted.

“Did I miss curfew again?” I say and a stupid laugh escapes me.

“Jesus Eddie.” He says quietly. “Are you by yourself?”

“Nope, they’re outside my door. I think they’re asleep, they’re quiet now.” I tell him, curling my legs up to my chest.

“Who? What are you talking about?”

“I think Gareth sent them; they think I can’t hear them.” 

“Eddie, I’m coming to you. I’ll be there in an hour.” He says, he sounds panicked, then I begin to panic.

“No! Teddy! If they see you, they’ll hurt you! I can’t let them hurt you.” I feel tears spring to my eyes. “Please, man. I can’t lose you too.” 

“Just stay put, buddy. I’ll be there soon.” 

“Okay, okay.” I nod into the phone, and he hangs up. Part of me knew that whatever those things were weren’t real, and it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but they felt real to me. I know I didn’t just do heroin tonight; I think ketamine too. Cocaine? I had to protect Ted; he has done so much for me. I get up from the couch, taking the metal baseball bat I keep near my door. I swing open my front door, the hinges squeaking, and I stare out into the darkness of the woods. “Come on mother fuckers!” I yell out. “Think you can fuck with me?!”

I hear my voice echo around me, and all that talks back is the silence. I laugh, twirling the bat in my hands. “That’s what I thought, pussies!” 

I hear something skitter on the grass in front of my porch and I yelp, falling back on my ass, the bat rolling away from me. I scramble to my feet and run back in the cabin, shutting the door and locking it. I slide down to the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest, I keep my eyes on the window, I have to look for Ted’s headlights, to make sure I can get him in safely. They weren’t gonna hurt him, I’d rather die than have something hurt him. 

I see the headlights reflect off the window, and I quickly stand up. I hear his footfalls go up the wooden steps of the porch and I open the door. “Get in, get in!” I say, grabbing his arm and pulling him in, he stumbles into my living room. 

“Eddie, what the fuck?” He says, staring at me with wide eyes. 

I turn to him, and I whisper. “They’re out there.” 

“Eddie, there’s no one out there.” He tells me gently. 

“There is, there is.” My eyes are wide, I can feel it. I can also feel my tears on my cheeks. “They live in the woods.” 

Ted grasps me by my forearms. “I think…I think you’re gonna have to take it easy the next few days.” 

I stare at him, and nod. “Yeah…yeah, I need to rest. I need to…I feel like I’m going insane. They’re not out there?” 

“No, son.” He tells me quietly. “Where is your stuff?” 

“B-back bedroom and there.” I tell him, pointing to the coffee table where my needles were, my empty bag of drugs, and a few loose pills. He takes everything off the table, and I shiver, watching him walk away. “Where are you going?” My voice sounds younger, childlike.

“I’ll be right back, buddy. Just sit down. I’ll fix us something to eat.” I nod at him again and sit on my couch. Was this what my life was now? Constant paranoia, fearful of what walks outside. I look down at my arms, even with all my tattoos, you could see how black and blue my arms were. The track marks went all the way up towards my wrists, my arms looked skeletal. When was the last time I ate? 

Did people really still enjoy our shows? How could they not tell how fucked up I was every show? We were still up on the charts; Rolling Stone wanted another interview after the tour. 

I run my hands through my hair and shiver. This was madness. I was a fucking madman. 

The next morning, I wake up, feeling an ache in my stomach. No no no no. I try to move from the couch but every single muscle in my body feels stiff. I groan loudly, was I dying? Was this death? 

I look at the coffee table, none of my stash was there. I grit my teeth, trying to sit up. 

“Ted!” I yell, my throat was raw. 

I see his form come into the living room; his hair was tied up in a bun. I try to sit up but a wave of a nausea hits me. 

“You’re finally awake.” He says, putting a mug of coffee in front of me. The smell alone makes me dry heave. 

“What?” I hold my stomach, and grimace. “Fuck why is it so cold in here?” 

“You’ve been sleeping for two days.” Ted tells me and my eyes snap to his. Realization hits my gut, and I start to remember a few days ago. I told him to get rid of my stuff, that I needed a rest. 

No. No. No. No. 

“Where did you put it?” I ask, my teeth grind as it feels like my stomach is being clawed at. 

“It’s gone, Eddie. I did what you asked me to do.” He stares at me, and my eyes narrow. 

“Well, I was fucking lying!” I groan out in pain, my body folds back on the couch. “FUCK. This hurts, Teddy this hurts so bad.” I feel sweat pool behind my neck and my joints feel locked in place. “I need it, man. It’s the only thing that will make this pain stop.” 

“It’s gone, Eddie. I’m sorry.” He tells me, leaning back in his seat. 

“Fuck you!” I growl and tears spring to my eyes. “Why did you come here?!” 

“Because you were fucking losing it!” He yells at me. “Saying there were these things outside, taunting you, that Gareth sent them. Eddie, you’re rotting your brain with this shit!” 

A painful groan and sob escape me, and I gag. He brings a large cooking pot over to me and I vomit into it. My insides felt like they were on fire, nothing I did was making me comfortable. I clench my fingers against my stomach, my body was trembling. 

“I’ll give you Motrin for the pain.” 

“Fuck that!” I scream at him. “Ughhhhhhh. Fuck. Teddy, please, please I need something stronger.” 

“No.” He says, no emotion in his tone. 

I grit my teeth. “Fuuuuck you! Please, please man. I just need it to stop.” 

He leans back in the chair, lighting up a cigarette, just watching me. I wanted to fly off that couch and strangle him, but everything hurt. I was stuck there. 

I had passed out, the pain getting to be too much. I had taking off my clothes in the middle of the night and was just in my boxers. Ted was sitting in the recliner chair; some stupid fucking show was on the television. I had slid off the couch on my hands and knees, grunting as I crawled towards him. “I need…the fucking drugs, Teddy.” My voice is hoarse, and my muscles feel stiff. My head pushes against his thigh and he holds me back by my shoulders. I groan angrily; my palms were sweating as I tried to force my way through him. Tears pool from my eyes as another wave of pain hits my joints. 

“Please.” I sob. “I’ll do anything…I just want this pain to stop.” I feel his eyes on me, and I gaze up at him. 

He holds my face in his hands. “No.” 

I collapse onto my back, my chest heaving with sobs. “Fuck you, man. Why are you doing this to me?” He doesn’t respond. “Answer me!!!” 

I don’t even know what day it is. 

But I want to die. I want these withdrawals to take me out. I almost shit myself tonight. Ted had to drag me to the bathtub. I couldn’t stop crying; it was too much. 

I think I was saying your name in my sleep. Ted kept asking me who you were, and I finally said, “the girl that I loved and lost.” He said he never remembers me ever talking about you, and I tell him that it hurts too much to talk about. 

The shaking has stopped, my bones don’t feel like they’re breaking anymore. I still want to die, I’m feeling everything. 

“Get up. Take a shower.” Ted tells me, nudging my shoulder. I turn away from him, curling my legs up to my chest. “Eddie. Get. Up.” He shakes my arm again; I slap his arm away. 

“Get the fuck away from me.” I grumble. 

“You’re acting like a child. Get up, man.” He says, sighing loudly. I don’t answer him, and before I know it, he’s throwing me over his shoulder. I’m kicking and screaming all the way to the bathroom. I’m surprised he can carry me. Well, I’m sure I don’t weigh much. He plops me down in the shower and turns it on, the water bites my skin and I scream at him. 

“You’re a fucking asshole!” I scream at him, trying to get out, but the warm water against my skin feels good and I stop. 

“Clean yourself up. You’re starting to stink.” He tells me, throwing a washcloth at me. 

“I could fire your ass, you know.” I snap at him, standing under the stream, my hair soaking. “Are you gonna stand there and watch me like I’m a fucking mental patient? Get out of here.” 

“Fire me all you want, I’m not leaving.” He says, closing the shower curtain and I hear him sit on the lid of the toilet. 

“Stubborn prick.” I grumble, squirting shampoo onto my hand and putting it through my hair. I could feel how gross and greasy my hair was, it felt stiff. 

“I may be a stubborn prick, but you should feel lucky that I’m here.” 

“Yeah, so lucky.” I scoff. “Once we’re back on the road I will find a way to get high again.” 

“Okay, that’s your choice.” He sounds like he’s flipping through the magazine. 

“Yeah, it is my choice. This wasn’t.” I peak my head behind the curtain to glare at him. 

“You told me you needed a rest. Probably a good thing, wouldn’t want you worrying about little creatures crawling into your bed at night.” He says, meeting my eyes and smirking. 

“Oh, fuck you.” I close the curtain forcefully, washing my body until it was raw. I’m able to actually look at my arms. They were scabbed over; the bruises had a yellow tint to them. 

“Who’s the girl?” Ted asks me. 

“What?” I wipe the soap from my eyes. 

“The girl you’ve been moaning about in your sleep.” 

I pause. I feel my stomach clench and my heart ache, I let the shower rinse the shampoo from my hair. “No one.” I snap. 

“Doesn’t sound like no one.” He says, and I hear him light up a cigarette. 

I sigh. “Someone I knew, back in Hawkins.” 

“Girlfriend?” 

It takes me a minute to answer him. “More than that.” I mutter. 

“What happened?” 

“Jesus, Ted. I don’t want to talk about it.” I turn off the shower and open the curtain, squeezing the water out of my hair. “Hand me a towel.” 

“Say the magic words.” I hear the arrogance in his voice. 

“Hand me a fucking towel, please.” 

He pulls a towel off the hook and throws it at me. I dry myself off, wrapping the towel around my waist and I walk towards the adjoining bedroom. I toss on a long-sleeved t-shirt and pull on a pair of dark jeans. It was early spring, but up here, it still felt like winter. I throw on some thick socks and take my cigarettes off my dresser. The smell of bacon hits my nostrils and my stomach rumbles painfully. I really don’t remember when the last time I ate was. I walk to the kitchen, seeing Ted with a dish towel over his shoulder, and plates of bacon, sausage. He was making eggs now. 

There was coffee in the pot, I move past him to grab a mug and pour myself a cup. I poured half the sugar into the mug; I still felt shitty, but the shower had helped some. 

I sit down at the table, lighting up a cigarette, pulling my leg up to my chest. The Eagles played softly on the radio, and I close my eyes, inhaling on the cigarette. I jump when Ted places the plate in front of me and I glare at him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, was that too loud?” He asks me sarcastically. “Why don’t you stop glowering at me and eat the damn food.” 

I scoff, sipping my coffee and biting into my meal. The taste and aroma of the breakfast fills all my senses and I have to control myself from shoving all of it into my gullet. 

Fuck. 

I forgot he could cook. 

I mean, breakfast was easy to cook but he used to be a chef so, he puts his own twist on it. I was full once I was done, and Ted had given me two Motrin which I reluctantly took. The rest of the day went by surprisingly smoothly, I had written a few songs with the acoustic while Ted sat in the recliner chair, watching his dumb television show. 

I decided to fuck with him the following day, to pass the time. I had some coins in my pocket, his opened coke can was in the cup holder next to him. I put the coin in between my two fingers and lined it up just right, launching the coin right into the mouth of the can. It splashed a little on him and he glares at me. 

“Lucky shot.” 

I take another coin, and the same thing happens, I smile at him. He shakes the soda drippings off his hand. 

“Don’t fuck with me, kid.” He grumbles and I launch another coin into the can, and I laugh. He throws his shoe at me, and I laugh louder. I’m able to get a smirk out of him, and we go back to sharing the comfortable silence. 

Evening approaches, and he had made us some steaks on the grill. It was a warm night, so we sat out on the back porch, the fire pit going as we smoked cigarettes. I lean back in my seat, staring up at the stars. My body still hurt, but this was the first time in a long time I felt content. 

“The girl you heard me talking about was my first love.” I tell him quietly. “And my only love.” 

“What happened?” He asks me gently, inhaling on his cigarette. 

“I happened. Well, my stupidity happened.” I sigh, letting the smoke billow from my nostrils. “We grew up together, did everything together. Her dad had died when she was a baby, her mom was a drunk. My mom was dead, and my dad was in jail, so we only had each other. And Wayne. Wayne made sure we were taken care of the best he could. We got older, and we fell in love.” I stub out the cigarette in the ashtray and I light up another. “This was a fucking insane kind of love. A lot of passion, a lot of arguing, a lot of laughing. She drove me crazy, but not as much as I drove her crazy. When I started to realize how deep my feelings were for her, I got scared. So I left.”

“Why?” He asks me. 

“I ask myself that every day, man.” I chuckle. “Doesn’t matter now. She’s probably happily married with kids somewhere. And I’m here, detoxing from heroin in a cabin in the woods.” 

“She sounds like she was one hell of girl.” Ted says with a smile. 

“Yeah, she was.” I smile back at him. 

That was the first time in a long time I felt at ease with myself. That was also the first time in a long time Ted, and I had sat down with each other and just shared comfortable silence. 

Should’ve known that I was going to fuck that all up again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* a/n: hi! I know it's short, but I'm just preparing you for the next couple of parts. Fair warning it's...well, you'll see. *insert evil laugh here* My son is having surgery on Thursday to get tubes in his ears so I will leave you with this, and maybe about a week for the next installment, maybe sooner. Who knows?! Again, I love you guys. <3

[ilovesjamesbb]

Please Don't Leave Me (Pt. 7)

Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Depression, suicide, depressing shit

“No. No no no no no no.” He grabbed my body pulling me out of the tub. He was struggling. What is happening? Our song, James. Our song is on. I feel sleepy. I feel good. All of a sudden there is a clatter and I feel something in my mouth. It's large and it makes its way down my throat. It's a terrible feeling. I feel myself starting to wake up. 

Bucky runs over to the tub pulling y/n out of the red water. The cuts aren't that deep but enough to bleed bad. He looks down and sees the pill bottle. He picks it up and it's empty. Fuck. 

What had she done? I left her alone. This is my fault. She needed me and I left her. I didn’t know what else to do but get those pills out. 

“You're not gonna like this, doll. I promise you will be okay. I’ll fix this.” I shove my fingers down her throat hoping to trigger her gag reflex. She’s barely conscious she's not really fighting back so I push further. 

“Come on. Come on!” Fuck this isn’t working. Right when I lost hope she started to gag and throw up. It's not enough. I keep my fingers down her throat. 

“There you go, doll. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.” She vomits until there is nothing left. The bath water is starting to overflow and red water finds its way onto the floor. I grab her head and rock her back and forth. Crying. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I harshly wiped her hair out of her face. 

“Our song is on, James.” She smiles but never opens her eyes. Thank god.

“Yes doll our song is on.” I say sweetly but I can hear the sadness in my voice as it cracks. 

“I wish this was real, James. I wish this is how it could've been.” She hums sadly. She thinks this isn’t real?

“This IS real doll. I’m right here.” I cry. The floor covered in vomit and bloody water is something I'll never forget. I rip the towel off the wall and cover her in it. I need to call someone but I don’t want to leave her. 

“I love you. I never wanted you to hate me for trying to kill myself. I thought I was doing the right thing. All I could see in that moment was your reaction to watching the tape the scientists would send you and I didn’t want you to end up how I am now.” She whispers. Still clearly not with it. 

“I wish you were real right now. I wish we got to have the future I dreamt of.”

“Tell me about it, doll.” I said trying to keep it together.

“We would live in a white house with a red door. There would be a white fence and flowers on the front lawn. A huge willow tree in the back where maybe we could put a swing. The paperboy would drop off the paper every morning and I would make you coffee and bring it to you in bed. We would read the paper together. Our favorite song is playing on one of the many record players we have in the house. You would wake me up with a kiss every day. We would talk about what we wanted to name our future baby. We would get to have kids and they would grow up to love the music we like almost as much as they would love you…” She trailed off. God I wanted that too. 

“What else? Tell me more.” I urged her on. I wanted to make her regain full consciousness. 

“I’m tired James. I can see it, can't you? I see the dog running in the backyard. You always throw his ball too far…he can’t find it. I can’t find you… James, where are you…” I can feel her start to slip again. She was panicking. 

“Y/n. Y/n!” I yell, shaking her.

“JARVIS. Call Steve, call Tony, call someone!” I screamed. The fear in my voice evident. 

“They are coming, Sergeant Barnes. I alerted Dr. Cho as well.” I held her in my arms whispering sweet nothings into her hair. I couldn't lose her for a third time. 

[lokisprettygirl]

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 12 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 13

Summary: Loki kissed you and now he can't stop kissing you. A life changing offer might comes your way.

Warning: Kissing, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff.

"I'm scared Lolo" your eyes brimmed with tears as you looked at him. You stood at the gates of the orphanage where you were supposed to live now, they said that momy died and she won't come back, you didn't want to believe them but lolo said the same thing and you always believed him.

"I know sweet buttons..but I'll come see you okay? You'll be safe here I promise" he was on his knees to match your height, he wanted to see you one last time before you go in there, they told him that he wasn't allowed to meet you or even talk to you from now on, not until you're an adult. Something about trauma bonding and how it could be damaging for both of you were their reasons but Steve promised him that he'll keep an eye on you and inform him if something goes wrong.

You hugged him tightly and he wiped his tears before you could see them.

"You promise you'll come see me?" You asked him, making his heart clench.

"I'll do my best sweetheart, I promise I'll do my best and you'll always have me..never forget" He said to you so you nodded. The warden lady took your hand and started to walk away, you didn't truly understand that feeling of walking away from him but now you knew it was your first heartbreak.

As he entered the apartment you looked at him, you were in the kitchen making dinner. Did he get your message? He must have, you didn't check to see if he read it or not, you felt so nervous after sending it, you just wanted him to come back and forget about everything that had happened in the past few days  because you really didn't want him to be upset with you or push you away more. You shouldn't have said those things to him either, you had no right.

"Dinner is almost ready" you mumbled as he walked into the kitchen, you could feel his eyes on you, he grabbed your arm and turned you towards him, your eyes teared up immediately.

"Why were you scared?" He asked you softly as his thumb brushed over your cheekbones while his forefingers caressed your nape.

"Just ..don't want to be alone..don't want to be without you Daddy" you could barely whisper as you felt your throat tightening, his eyes teared up too, you were eager to fall back into the toxicity you both shared before, you were willing to sacrifice your happiness for him and that's what pierced through his cold stone heart. He can't hurt you like that anymore, he never wanted to, he had done enough, he always fucked those women and shoved them in your face because you did the same to him, you always told him about your dates and how many times you got fucked to piss him off, now he knew that you were just trying to make him jealous and hurt him because he was hurting you. 

"Yeahh?" He whispered in a questioning manner, he placed his fingers of the other hand on your chin and made you look up at him then he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

"Mmhmmm I'm sorry for what I said" 

"I am sorry too baby" your eyes flickered as he said that, he hardly ever apologized to you and whenever he did you knew he meant it truly, it wasn't just a senseless word for him to calm down the situation.

"It's okay..thank you for coming back..let's just..forget about the last few days okay?" He smiled but then he shook his head, leaving you all perplexed and wide eyed.

"I don't want to forget..I want to remember" he pressed his lips on yours and kissed you tenderly, making you gasp into his mouth, you weren't expecting that "Want to remember what happened between us so I can treat you better" your heart skipped several beats at once at the confession, you got on your tippy toes and flung your arm around his neck to kiss him passionately.

He lifted you up as he kissed you back he felt as if he was starving for a taste even though it hasn't even been twenty four hours since he had kissed you last. He put you down on the counter as his tongue slipped past your lips, you sucked on the tip of his tongue like a candy and you could feel your whole existence falling apart, his every little touch sent shivers down your spine and you wanted more, you wanted everything. The word obsessed couldn't suffice what you felt for him.

"Wow" you whispered as he pulled away for a moment, his lips traveled down from your jaw to the side of neck, he sucked on your skin softly while you sat there panting and breathing heavily like a sodden whore "Is this going to be a regular thing because I love it" you smiled as you pressed your face between the crook of his neck to inhale his intoxicating scent. Four years of torture and he finally had you on his mercy. 

He didn't know how long this feeling would last for you, it took Jolene a while to lose interest in him, not sexually but definitely romantically, the mirage was broken everytime he unveiled a layer of his past and the mystery that surrounded him. With you however at least he knew that you knew he had issues, you knew about his past, at least some of it and you still wanted this, it gave him hope.

The dinner burned because he didn't stop kissing you, he pulled away everytime he needed you two to breathe, but in the meantime his mouth traveled to other places and every touch of his lips made you drip more and more. 

"Ohhh goddd" you whispered as he wrapped your legs around his waist, you could feel his bulge rubbing between your legs and you wanted to hump against him like a slut who has been edged for years. 

"God doesn't exist sweetheart but you can chant my name instead" the deep rumbling voice came right from his chest, he could ruin you just by using that voice on you. He took you to the bedroom and laid you down and then he kissed you again, seconds turned into minutes and none of you wanted to stop but he didn't want to take you like this either. Not so soon, not so frivolously when you have kept yourself untouched just for him. He wanted to treat you so good but he didn't know how, he wasn't a gentle lover.

He tried it with Jolene and it felt good in the moment but as soon as his orgasm washed over him he felt extremely pathetic, he felt disgusted by himself, he felt weak, he could see his father asking his slaves to lash him for being such a frail boy, he felt their floggers ripping his flesh open ,burning his skin, and as soon those memories hit him he wanted her to hurt him so he could feel better, she obliged sometimes but other times his requests bothered her so much that she'd just get up and leave him to sleep in the other room, and as soon as she'd leave he'd cry himself to sleep because he felt so rotten from the core. 

He didn't want to ruin you like that because if he would then you'd leave him too and he didn't think he was strong enough to lose his sweet buttons.

"You're lost" you caressed his scalp with your fingers and he snapped back to reality, he propped himself on his elbows and laid on his side next to you so you turned towards him too.

"Just thinking about this" you smiled as he said that.

"What changed your mind?" you bit on your lips as you mumbled, your fingers played with the chest hair peeking out of his dark green t-shirt.

"That text you sent" 

"What about it?" 

"Just you willing to do that for me, I don't want to hurt you darling" he leaned down to kiss your forehead. He really didn't want to but he knew that he'd hurt you one way or another.

"I know " 

"But I will" 

"I know" you answered as you understood what he meant, he didn't just mean that in an emotional sense but sexual too.

"You don't know" 

"I do..but it doesn't matter..I'm yours to hurt" 

"Shhhh don't say that" he whispered as he kissed you again, a sick perverted part of him felt turned on by that statement, you wanting him to hurt you, asking him to mark you, blood rushed to his cock at the way you just wanted to serve yourself to him no matter what. You pulled on his hair slightly and he moaned in your mouth, you knew he liked hurting and being hurt during sex but you were not going to do that to him, not in the ways he was used to being hurt, he never talked to you about it but you knew he was abused as a child, physically, mentally and sexually. You knew that's how he developed this need to feel pleasure through extreme pain but you won't allow him to punish himself like that forever. 

"It's okay.. it's okay.. I promise it's okay..I'll take care of you, we will be okay. Youuu and meee for life. Right?" Yours eyes became moist and so did his as you said that.

"You and me for Life. I promise, I'll never let go, I'll never leave you" 

The next morning he woke you up with tender kisses, you bathed together and he fed you, then he kissed you again before he took you to the set, you couldn't focus on the work because your thoughts were interrupted by the man of your dreams who continued to give you "I want to kiss you right now" eyes, as soon as the director yelled cut and you got a few minutes of break he grabbed your hand and took you to a secluded corner of the set, in a second you found yourself pressed against the walls and trapped between his body. 

"I couldn't focus at all, I got yelled at by Nick" Nick was your director and he wasn't happy with you today.

"Mmmhmm want me to beat him up for you?" You moaned into his mouth as he said that.

"Noooo I think we should let him go since it's my fault " you chuckled so he pulled away and cupped your cheeks.

"Focus on the work darling, we can do this at home, it's just you and me there..be a good girl for me yeah?" 

"Yeahhh daddy" You kissed him feverishly and then you stopped because of this one thought that continued to bother you.

"Are you going to fuck other women still? Because Karina from the crew is waiting in line" Your eyes teared up as you questioned him, he did it before but at least you didn't know how it felt to have him suck onto yours lips this way, you didn't know how good he tasted or what a fine kisser he was, you have been jealous of women in his life for as long as you could remember so even just the thought of him still wanting to fuck someone else filled you with extreme contempt and sadness.

"Do you want me to?" He smirked as he questioned so you tried to unhook your legs but he grabbed them and kept you pinned against the wall "Just joking baby.. the only woman I'm going to touch from now on is you..only you..i promise..i know it won't be easy to trust me but you know I keep my promises" He really did and that's was the one thing he at least liked about himself.

"okayyy..I trust you" 

"Yeah????" 

"Mmmmmm" 

Then he kissed you again. And again. And again.

While you were working he received a call from that casting director that you auditioned for yesterday, he wanted to see you, alone. That never was a good sign, the audition was for a film and it's something you have always wanted to be a part of so he really wanted you to bag this. 

"Something wrong?" You asked him as you caressed his shoulder while he was driving you to the studio where you were meeting the casting guy Stephen.

"He wants to see you.. alone" he sighed as he answered. You knew what it meant, you have been here before. They wanted to see you alone when they wanted you to fuck them.

"Ohh" you felt sad but then you were so giddy with this new development in your personal life that you really didn't care about the professional one at the moment. As you reached the destination you took your seat belt off and climbed over his lap, taking him by surprise but he wasn't complaining

"It's okay..we will get other offers" you mumbled softly as you kissed the tip of his nose "Thank you for always keeping me safe and protected from them, I don't think I have ever told you how much I appreciate not being exploited by every perv out there" you whispered in his ear as your hands rubbed over his crotch.

How could you say something sweet like that and accompany it with such a naughty gesture? He moaned and you felt him hardening at your touch. His hand sneaked inside the shirt you were wearing and you gasped as he touched your bare skin.

"Want to thank me for real? Maybe someday you can show me how you use my briefs to get yourself off" 

"Daddddddy" you gasped at the sudden filth coming out of his mouth but you really wanted to bathe in the said filth.

"Isn't that what you did, hmm? Been thinking about it. Did you wear it while you touched your wet little cunt or you humped yourself against it sweetheart?"

"Ohhh fuckk..the second thing" you palmed his bulge and he let out a shaky breath.

"You're a desperate little slut aren't you? Always craving my attention..well you have it now baby..you have all of my attention on you" You cupped his cheeks to kiss him deeply and he responded with equal intensity but then he pulled away soon after, it still felt like a dream if you were being honest with yourself. "Mmmm we need to stop sweetheart, you have a meeting to attend" he reminded you why you both were there so you tried to calm yourself down, it was harder for him to calm down though. 

As you met the guy he asked to just see you so you looked at Loki and he nodded, you were auditioning for a side role anyways so It didn't really matter. As you went inside the room, there were three other people, one of them was Jane foster, you recognised her, she was a former A lister and was a big name in the industry now as a producer. You were surprised a little to see her, they immediately gave you a a few lines and asked you to enact it, 

"Ummm I'm sorry I'm a little confused..what is happening?" You asked Jane so she smiled at you.

"Y/n I think you are packing a lot of talent in there, I saw your tapes from yesterday and I'm very impressed, that's the script for the main lead, I'd like you to read a line or two for me if you don't mind" she smiled at the end of her sentence so you nodded. 

You felt nervous because you weren't prepared for this, you read the lines and they sent you right away, they said they'll call you in a day or two.

"What's special about her?" As you left, Stephen asked Jane so she smiled.

"I received an anonymous email yesterday and it intrigued me.. remember that psychopath from NYC..that major cult scandal like 12 years ago?" She asked him.

"Ohhh yeah didn't he escape a few days ago?" 

"Exactly..she's that girl from that cult, the last sacrifice thing..she's y/n y/l/n" Stephen's eyes widened in realization, you had changed your last name and that's why he wasn't able to recognise you before.

"The publicity we will get if we launch her is going to be insane.. especially with that psycho on the loose, we can reel in a lot of people by using her tragic past" She smiled at him and he agreed. They just wanted to use you for their own good.

As you came out Loki seemed a little worried, you were in there for a long time.

"What happened?" He asked you so you told him everything and he was surprised too, it's not that he didn't believe in your talent as an actress but he knew how things happened in Hollywood in this day and age, one either needed to sell their soul or have a strong connection to bag such a film, rarely people got big just on the basis of their talent. 

He took you out for dinner first, it felt like a date to you. Then he took you home but he couldn't stop thinking about this, your safety was his responsibility and he had to know if those people had your best interest in heart.

"Lost again" you mumbled in his ears as you climbed on his bed after showering, he smiled as your freshly showered wet half naked body laid on top of him, you just had a tank top on with a pair of booty shorts.

"I'm right here" he pushed your hair aside and grabbed your neck to flip you under him. 

"What if I get this movie? It's going to be a huge deal right?" You asked him, you felt nervous about the possibility, as much as you enjoyed acting you weren't sure if you really wanted to make it that big, considering your past and everything - you knew things will come out if you get famous and you knew he'd be dragged along with it too, that's the last thing you both needed in life, people's judgment.

"It will be..but that's what you want right?" He asked you so you nodded, you always convinced him that you wanted this in life, you wanted to be an actor, to work in films, to be famous and maybe you really did want that but now as he was on top of you, sucking on your lips ever so softly, you wondered if that was really what you craved or needed in life.

"Yeahhh" you lied to him because you didn't think you were supposed to talk about this yet when you two had just started this thing with each other. Besides, it's not as if you'll get the film for sure. 

"You must be tired sweetheart..get your sleep okay? Need a massage?" He asked you softly and your eyes teared up. Yeah you loved him so much it was unreal. 

"Yess pls daddy" you responded so he kissed your forehead before he got off the bed then he came back with hot oil, as soon as his hands rubbed your legs soothingly you couldn't stop yourself from falling asleep, unlike all those times before there was no manipulation involved this time, he truly just wanted to help you relax, and as your little snores reached his ears his eyes softened.

He turned the lights off to lay down next to you and held onto you tightly, he was terrified about everything - this relationship, your feelings about him, That bastard Odin running free in the world, everything made him wish that he was able to hide you two somewhere far away so you'd be safe with him but it wasn't possible. 

As his arms wrapped around you, your sleep got disrupted a little, you felt him pressing soft little kisses on your neck and it made you smile. This was probably the best day of your life, you didn't remember being this happy before.

"I love you my sweet sweet buttons" And the sweet whisper of the forgotten petname as well the love confession made your breath hitch in your chest. Truly the best day ever.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Taglist: if I am not able to tag you please check your settings

@annoyingsweetsstranger   @whylokiissocute   @loki-s-wife   @fraoid3   @siggytumbles   @crzyplantladyvibes   @stupidthoughtsinwriting   @vickie5446   @wheredafandomat   @mcufan72   @xxntiimulti   @loz-3   @dishahaldar @mcdesij @scram1326   @elthreetimes   @army24--7   @sinsandguilt   @holotacopeely   @huntress-artemiss   @blog-the-lilly   @ultraviolencexxss @disneyismyworldforever   @bunny24sstuff   @kats72   @somewiseguy   @asgardianprincess1050   @multifandom-world8   @loki-laufeyson-1054

[whataboutthefish]

About me

HI there, I’m Fishie!

If you have come here from my Stranger Things work, welcome.

I’m just finding my feet in this fandom, I fell for those wonderful gifs of Eddie and binged the show. I am now fully immersed and latched on with the obsession of a new hyper-fixation.

I’m a multishipper and enjoy and write any combination of Steddie, Harringrove and metal sandwich/harringroveson, Hellcheer, drumcheer, Stopper, Whopper, the list goes on!

I’m a fandom old, and I have no tolerance for any fandom hate, I’m proship and I also write dead dove content. I won’t stand for hate on any character or ship, regardless of my opinion of them.

I’ve been blessed since I joined this fandom with the amazing interactions I’ve had with people. I’ve met some amazing creators and the support from readers is so awesome.

I accept prompts and headcanons, I love interacting with people and bouncing ideas around.

I will write most things, if you’re unsure I’m happy to talk about it, I don’t kink shame. My favourite flavor of fic will always be Alpha/beta/omega dynamics, ageplay is a close second. I have no problem switching tops and bottoms.

My asks are always open if you want to chat!

Below are my tumblr ramblings about Omega Steve/Alpha Eddie

The drabble that started it all - Pen Pal Steddie A/b/o

The continuation Pen Pal Steddie a/b/o part 2

This is when I made myself and all of you sad talking about Omega Steve and his nest iykyk read with a tissue

Some angst fix it a/b/o Steddie plus Uncle Wayne

New Years Eve True mates first kiss

Unplanned pregnancy Single Mom Omega Steve

While you were sleeping, here on tumblr and also on ao3

A little thing about Alpha Eddie’s nest

Boarding school au - Omega/omega

Nesting angst - omega steve, pre steddie, religious trauma, neglect

whumpy a/b/o Steddie thoughts. Eddie lives, Steve has ptsd

Harringroveson ficlets

Metal sandwich (harringroveson) a/b/o ptsd

Ao3 - I’m what_about_the_fish on Ao3

one shots

We could plant a house, we could build a tree  -  Steddie, breeding kink

While you were sleeping - Steddie, omegaverse, mpreg

Finger Food - Steddie, double date, smoking weed, love

Find the Light -  Steddie, omegaverse, ptsd, nesting

Harrington’s Milk Bar - Steddie omegaverse, omega Eddie, prime alpha Steve, breast milk

If I should fall - Steddie, omegaverse, sex pollen

Show off - pre-steddie, Steve/unnamed female, voyeurism, exhibitionism

You can be my sugar, baby - Harringrove, omegaverse, alpha/alpha

Dear Mumma - Steddie, teen and up, mentions of suicide and mental health problems

I need to know - Hellcheer, voyeurism masturbation

Push and Pull - Eddie/Billy, D/s, sub Billy, Dom Eddie, bratting, pain play, discipline, punishment, aftercare

Take my hand, take my heart - Steddissy, A/B/O, Alpha Chrissy, Alpha Eddie, omega Steve, D/s, Dom Chrissy, speed dating, threesome

Everybody wants you - Harringrove - Song fic, rockstart Billy, Popstar Steve, Enemies to lovers

Alpha Darling - Steddie, A/B/O, D/s, Omega Steve, Alpha Eddie, Dom Steve, Sub Eddie, public play, topping from the bottom

multi chapter

Yeah, you made me feel    - Steddie, Omegaverse, Virgin Steve, hs au NOW COMPLETE

I’ve been in Chains - Steddie, omegaverse, sex slavery, rescue, healing, trauma

Sweet Drop - Stopper, omegaverse, traditional values, collared, spankings, domestic discipline

Sweet child of mine - Stopper, mpreg chapters related to Sweet Drop

One nest to rule them all - Collection of all my above threads in one place on Ao3

It’s a lonely world when everybody knows your name - Steddie Big bang A/B/O alpha Steve, omega Eddie, 90′s supermodel fasion au COMEPLETE

Made for you, Made for me - Billy/Hopper, A/B/O, omega Hopper, Alpha Billy, true mates, COMPLETE

And then you came - Harringrove Big Bang - D/s universe, Sub Billy, Dom Steve, daddy dom, Baby brat, slow burn, collars, D/s themes, kneeling, Dom voice  COMPLETE

ART?

One thing I love to do is horrible edits, I play with making gifs and video edits. I take great pleasure in abusing the small amount of skill I have and using it for evil.

Fire Elmo but make it Stranger Things

A Strange new dawn - Jim Hopper/Charlie Swan - the ship you never knew you needed, video edit

Don’t mess around with Jim - Hopper gifset

You might not like her - Chrissy’s Story video edit

Eddie Munson - Death by rock and roll video edit

More Serious Art

Back in the Saddle by @violetkaos - art for ST rare pair big bang - Steve/Eddie/Dmitri - cowboy au.

Take me away (A secret place) by @jordyn-undead art for ST  rare pair big bang - Steve/Dmitri - Steve is taken to Russia

This is where we part ways if you don’t enjoy content of the dead dove variety. I hope you’ve enjoyed you time here.

For those of you who do partake in a dove or two, below are links to my dead dove fics. All are clearly labeled and tagged.

Dead Dove

My arms will hold you, baby    - Hopper/Reader, Omorashi, piss kink

The Ultimate Sin - Steddie-spree, twincest, incest, omegaverse, camboy,

Monsters in my bed  - Steddie, extreme gore, non con, demon Eddie

This darkened street we travel - Steddie, serial killer Eddie, dark Steve, murder, fucking

Daddy’s Boys - Steve/Billy/Hopper - Little/caregiver au, little steve, little Billy, Daddy Hopper, sex... so much sex

Two of my favourite things - Steddie, ageplay, forced regression

Baby love, our baby love - Steddissy - age play, sexual age regression

Two of my Favourite things - Steddie, age play, forced regression, watersports, diapers

Daddy’s boys - Hopper/Steve/Billy - age play universe, sex aged up and down, extreme dead dove - read tags

Drink up - mungrove, omorashi, watersports, public play, dom drop, aftercare

[eddiebillysteve]

cat and mouse

(( harringroveson prison au )) chapter fourteen | find it on ao3 HERE

a/n | planning on uploading a chapter every saturday from here on out !! also don't forget to check out @leticheecopae's sister fic pit of vipers bcus it is SO good and connects so much to mine (and will even more as it progresses!) thank you for reading!!! i would love to hear your thoughts and comments!! :') aLSO would love to give a shoutout to my first ko-fi supporter because?? i could barely believe it!!! so a massive thank you to ada <333

warnings | anti-religion comments? if that's what it'd be called?, daddy kink, dom/sub themes, punishments, possessiveness, murder/suicide, drugs/failed overdose mention, steve being a gay panicked confused mess (this is a permanent tag), he's also being trained with candies and i'm not sorry about it, general prison talk, stuff like that !!

tag list | @whoringrove @darkandstormyslash @devotionsofmaryoliver @nowhereinthedenn @cherixsays - let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future updates or removed from the list !!

moodboard by @a-redharlequin !!

Breakfast hour was weird without Billy, even when they knew he was safe in his cell. Their table didn’t feel complete without him sitting at the head between Steve and Argyle. The empty spot haunted the four boys who were left, reminding them of Creel and his power and how he could so easily tear any of them apart. 

Still, they made the most of it. Since Jonathan returned from being on watch, he and Steve chatted about anything and everything to fill the silence. Eddie told stories too, sometimes, but he was much more interested in listening to his baby’s sweet voice talking about Three’s Company or Duran Duran.

“How’s being nineteen?” Jonathan asked the morning after Steve’s birthday, taking a little spoonful of cereal. 

“The same as being eighteen,” Steve joked. “Just really weird to know it was spent in here. My best birthday yet, don’t get me wrong, but–”

His voice came to a quick stop when someone was sitting beside him, sitting in Billy’s seat.

“Woah, brochacho,” Argyle immediately said, still somehow managing to sound relaxed, but Steve knew better. “Taken. Sit somewhere else.”

“Shit.”

Steve looked over at Eddie when the word stumbled out of his Papa’s mouth. They were staring at each other, Eddie and the blonde man that had sat down beside him, and the nervous look on Eds’ face made Steve nervous in turn. Really nervous.

“Your little boyfriend really thought he could get rid of me, Munson? He thinks I’m that big a threat, huh?” The blonde boy, who didn’t even look Argyle’s way, leaned in closer, almost over Steve to murmur his words to Eddie. “I know that little stunt was all him, so you can tell him you will pay for his mistake tonight.”

Carver was supposed to be dead, Eddie knew that much. He was on Creel’s side whether he considered himself to be or not, had used Eddie without Billy’s permission, and had to pay for his sins. He wasn’t supposed to have survived; Hagan had been told to subdue him and force enough product down his throat to have him overdose. Billy had told Eddie while in the infirmary, and Eddie had passed the message along to Argyle, who would vouch for him, at least.

The one that was really in trouble was Tommy for not doing exactly as he was told. Eddie, too, but because of how angry Jason was. He was desperate for revenge, nearly frothing at the mouth for it. Anyone within ten feet of him could see how he was refraining from throwing Eddie to the floor to start wailing on him.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life,” Jason hissed, and Steve leaned backward to try to put some space between him and the words. “You need to learn the word of the Lord, Munson. Maybe then you’ll understand why I’m not going anywhere. God only punishes sinners.”

“And you’re not a sinner? Aren’t you in here for beating the shit out of your girlfriend?” Eddie snorted and Jason standing up in two seconds.

Steve didn’t know what he was thinking, but he was up at the same time, standing between the two of them to block Jason from being able to reach for Eddie. It just happened, the same as if someone were to try to bully Dustin in front of him. His body reacted, went into protective mode. “Relax, man. I’m sure this is all a big misunderstanding.”

Jason’s eyebrows shot up, leaning back a bit to take Steve in. “Jesus, no one told me you’re getting fucked by two daddies now, Munson. Hargrove not good enough for you anymore? Just how loose have you gotten while I’ve been gone?”

“Right, nope. This isn’t happening,” Eddie stood up, shaking his head and waving his arms around. “Shut the fuck up, Carver. Think all those drugs you do have melted your brain. Didn’t know God let crackheads into Heaven these days.”

“Eddie,” Steve whispered, wanting him to calm down. He’d be in trouble if he got into a fight – not just with the guards but with Billy, too. “Everyone just… calm down. This is crazy.”

“You would both be quite wise to listen to him. This is a cafeteria, afterall, not a jungle. As feral as some of you may be, you are not animals. Sit and eat, or get to work.”

Every head in the room turned to look at the source of the too-calm voice that broke through the tension. Creel could silence a room just by walking into it, let alone speaking. Even the biggest, most muscular murderers were frightened of him. 

“I will not repeat myself,” He said when no one moved, tilting his head the tiniest bit. Eddie immediately sat, grabbing Steve’s wrist to yank him down, too, and even Jason sat back down in Billy’s seat.

Creel had been the one to transfer him. He’d hand chosen him, had surveyed the prison up north for someone big enough – and potentially crazy enough – to give Billy a run for his money and to be a distraction of sorts. He’d told Jason what his job was, and what the consequences would be if he failed to do as he was told.

But even Jason wanted nothing to do with him.

“32566, it’s been too long,” Creel stepped forward, closer to their table, and Eddie’s grip tightened on Steve’s wrist where it was hidden from view. “Who’s your friend?”

Eddie couldn’t breathe. He’d succeeded in keeping Steve invisible until now, but his attempts had been futile. All because of Jason fucking Carver. 

“Harrington,” Steve answered when Eddie didn’t speak, glancing nervously at his Papa.

“I don’t believe I was speaking to you, was I?” The guard’s voice was polite, but his eyes were so dark that they’d join the list of things haunting Steve’s nightmares. “32566, his number?”

“I don’t know it,” Eddie muttered, dropping his eyes from Creel to his tray.

“You don’t know it,” Creel sighed like he was disappointed. “Then we’ll just have to find out together, won’t we? Come along.”

This time it was Steve’s hand that was shifting to secretly grab onto Eddie’s wrist beneath the table, a feeble attempt to keep him from moving. After another breath, though, Eds moved to stand again. 

“Not you, 32566.”

Eddie paused mid stance, almost frozen in place. He couldn’t take Steve, he was too delicate. He wouldn’t last two seconds alone with Creel. “I’ve got it. I can grab it. It’ll take me two seconds,” Eddie tried, daring himself to glance up and meet Creel’s eyes. 

“Sit back down. I’ve finished speaking to you. Your friend may stand.”

He had never felt so helpless before. Steve standing beside him and not being able to stop him or do anything about it was a special kind of torture. The only thing he could do was watch as Steve followed Creel towards the cafeteria’s doors, sparing one frightened glance back to his Papa on the way.

Jonathan had gotten up and slipped out of the room the second Creel had made himself known, though. He’d run straight to get Billy, who was waiting outside the cafeteria doors for them, jaw clenched and steely eyed. 

“Well, hello, 62097. I didn’t realize you were off of bed rest yet,” Creel stopped moving to stand in front of Billy, hands moving to fold in front of himself just like always. “I thought you were relieved from work duty until Monday morning.”

“That’s right,” Billy didn’t look at Steve, didn’t even acknowledge that he was there. “Just came to get a cup of coffee and heard you needed a number. Thought I’d save you the trip. 82894.”

Creel’s eyes narrowed.

“His number, Officer Creel. It’s 82894. Now there’s no reason for him to have a delayed start. I can only imagine how behind the laundry unit is without me there to keep everyone in line.” Billy's insides contorted in the same way they used to when he had to face his father while knowing he’d pay for it later, but he’d rather it be him than Steve or Eddie any day; Steve, in particular, would be crushed under a mere few words.

“How very helpful of you, 62097,” Creel replied; his voice was tight, irritated, and he pulled his hands apart long enough to gesture back towards the cafeteria. “You’re dismissed, 82894. You may leave.”

Steve gave Billy a look of pure gratitude before practically running back to Eddie. It felt like he’d been saved from a volcanic eruption – Billy had jumped in front of a bullet for him and would do it again without a second of hesitation.

Billy hadn’t met his eyes, though; he still didn’t acknowledge Steve, not even when he was scampering off. His blue eyes were stuck on Creel’s, the two of them refusing to look away from the other and be the first one to break.

“I shall walk you back to your cell, 62097. Make sure you get settled in properly again. It wouldn’t hurt to check up on your wounds, either, hm? Check to see if everything’s alright. Would be such a shame if you were to be out of work for a few weeks more by doing something stupid .”

“Yeah,” Billy cleared his throat. “It sure would.”

***

“One fucking thing, Hagan. Told you to do one fucking thing!” 

Billy had burst into the laundry room a few hours into their shift. Two joints was all it took to get the guards to let him in and leave him alone with his crew for a bit. Their logic was that if Billy wanted to move around and fuck up his healing, he could. They weren’t going to babysit him, especially not if he was offering weed to get them to turn a blind eye.

“Holy fuck. I should beat your goddamn head in for being so fucking stupid!” 

No one else in the room made a sound as Billy went off, Jonathan sitting with his hands over his ears. Billy was roaring, pacing around to keep himself from pinning Tommy to the wall. His anger wasn’t a full blown blind rage – it stemmed from fear. 

Creel knew about Steve because of the fuck up and would know he was an easy target just like Jonathan by dinner hour. He was in panic mode, barely able to think though it. All he knew was that they were fucked – not just him, but all of them. 

“Always comes back to me. Have to do fucking everything around here, useless fucking prick. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Eddie stepped in when Billy started to throw things around, cautiously walking up to him to touch his shoulders. “Bills, breathe,” He whispered, squeezing them tight. “Come here and sit down for a minute. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Don’t you tell me what to fucking do,” Billy snapped, shoving Eddie away, but there wasn’t any reaction from his old cellie. Eddie simply stepped forward again, reached for Bills’ wrists, and pulled him over to a chair when he wasn’t pushed away again. 

“We need to think, yeah? So just – chill for a minute,” Eddie tried his best to soothe him without sounding condescending. “Steve’s fine, I’m fine. We’ll get Carver taken care of and then–”

“And then Creel’ll tear Steve to shreds for fun, and then what, huh? You don’t know shit about what he does, none of you do. Preppy fucking princess over there wouldn’t survive twenty seconds trapped in a cell with him,” Billy was up again, throwing his hands in the air, and Eddie glanced over at Steve.

If he hadn’t stood up, hadn’t tried to defend Eddie, everything may have been prevented.

“I have to kill him. Have to. It’ll never end,” Hargrove started up again, and Eddie’s eyes went wide. “I don’t give a shit if I get life. It’ll be worth it to see the life drain out of those fucking eyes.”

“Billy, stop. You can’t say shit like that,” Eddie went right back to him, voice shifting into something more pleading. 

Argyle was up too then, reaching out to grab Billy’s arm. His grip was tight, unlike Eddie, and he shook him for a second. “No one’s getting life, man. Get it together. You can’t do shit if you’re worked up like this. Chill. Out. ”

With a shake of his head, Billy pulled his arm free and headed back towards the door. Talking about murder out in the open was a dangerous game – but everyone in the room could be trusted and the guards weren’t anywhere near. “This ends soon. I’m coming up with a goddamn plan to end him if it’s the last thing I do.”

***

“I want you to kneel down here, right between my legs, alright? Need to talk to you, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured. He sat on the bottom bunk, spreading his legs open before guiding Steve down to kneel between them. His hands were gentle on Steve’s wrists, only letting him go to touch his shoulders to press him downwards.

Billy shifted on the top bunk until he was able to look down at them. He’d spent the entire afternoon plotting and writing too many drafts to Chrissy to try to relay his thoughts to her without getting flagged or Max realizing what he was thinking, and now the boys were back from work and dinner hour to keep him company again. He still didn’t know exactly what had happened in the cafeteria, but even through his anger he could tell Eddie wasn’t right when he’d stopped by earlier on. Something had upset him, and now he could tell that that something was Steve.

“I’m upset with you,” Eddie murmured, his hand going to pet Steve's hair. He nearly took the words back when he saw the way Steve’s entire face fell and his eyes started to water.

“I’m sorry,” He immediately started, but Eddie shook his head. 

“No speaking yet, Stevie. You answer me when I ask you a question, but that’s it,” Eddie’s voice was even, calm, and his hand shifted again to massage his scalp. “I’m not angry, but I am upset. Do you know why?”

Steve took a second to think, desperately searching his mind to try to figure out what he could have done. He had been a good boy at work, hadn’t even cowered when Billy started throwing things. “Because I… I went with the guard?” He guessed, looking back up at him.

“No,” Eddie slipped his hand from Steve’s hair, moving it downwards to hold his chin. “What did you do during breakfast? After Carver joined us. Tell me what happened, exactly what you did.”

Even though he was trying, Steve couldn’t remember what he’d done wrong. His fingers reached for Eddie’s sweats, fiddling with them as his eyes dropped to look at his torso. “I was–”

“Ah, ah. Eyes up here. On me, baby,” Eddie tipped his chin upwards to emphasize his words, and Steve forced his eyes back up.

Billy was absolutely perplexed on the top bunk. He’d punished Eddie hundreds of times over the years, but he’d never sat him down to talk first, not like this. He’d have him kneel for conversations often enough, have him naked and waiting on his knees for him, but there was something so intimate about the scene before him, something so gentle. It made his breath catch in his throat.

After sucking in a breath, Steve spoke again. “I was just eating and he sat down,” The words came out cautiously, like he was worried he was going to say the wrong thing, and his eyes flickered over Eddie’s face. He was trying to watch for a reaction, any sort of hint that he was doing good or bad. “And I was afraid he was going to hurt you and then the guard came.”

“Getting closer,” Eddie nodded, encouraging him to keep going. “What did you do when you were afraid he was going to do something to me?”

Oh. 

Eddie saw the realization spread over Steve’s face – and then the nervousness that followed it. “I stood up to block you behind me.”

“Right. There we go. And what did you put yourself in when you did that?” Eddie raised his eyebrows a touch. 

“A bad situation?”

It was hard for Eddie to resist smiling at how small and shaky Steve’s voice was. Even though he was frightened, it wasn’t in the same way he’d been frightened of Billy. It made Eddie realize Steve trusted him.  “ Exactly. A bad situation. A dangerous situation. You intentionally put yourself in harm's way.”

“But I didn’t mean to. I was just there, and I thought he was–”

“Shh,” Eddie cooed. “You have to learn not to do it again. And how do you think we should do that? How should I teach you, what’s a good punishment?”

If his Papa wasn’t so calm, Steve would have been in full blown panic mode. He would have been convinced he was getting an M to match the H on his arse, and would have started to choke on his own fear and beg for mercy, but Eddie didn’t have Billy’s temper. His hands weren’t rough, he wasn’t squeezing too tight – if anything, his thumb was smoothing over Steve’s jaw, silent encouragement for him to answer the question.

“I don’t know,” He shook his head a bit.

Billy had some ideas from the top bunk, but he kept his mouth shut, staying silent to see just what Eddie was planning on doing.

“I’m sure you can come up with something, Stevie. Think for a minute.”

Steve let out a soft little sigh. He didn’t know anything about punishing other people – the most he would do to ‘punish’ Dustin when he acted up was lecture him about safety, maybe take away one of his little figurines or science experiments for a day. It gave him something to go off of, at least.

“Maybe no sweets? For today?”

“Just for today?” Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, physically couldn’t contain it. “It’s past seven o’clock. We’ve got less than two hours before lights out, I think that’d be a pretty tame punishment, but good boy for coming up with something.”

Eds didn’t know what was going to happen when he went back to his cell; Jason was going to be pissed as fuck, but he didn’t know if that would mean he’d get the shit beat out of him or if he’d have to listen to the blonde read out from his bible the entire night. He’d prefer the former, he decided. Anything but the fucking preaching.

“I think we can start with sweets. No sweets for two days,” Eddie decided, but then he paused to ponder for a second. “Open up Daddy’s drawer, pick some out.”

Steve hesitated, looking at Eddie for a moment, and then up to the top bunk. Billy raised his eyebrows just a smidge, challenging him to disobey Eddie’s orders, but Steve wouldn’t dare. He obeyed, opening Billy’s compartment underneath his bunk that held all the fun items. His drawer was only ever used their clothes, and everything else was kept in Billy’s. There were all the snacks, the makeup he’d just gotten for his birthday, a couple of books. He got out two packets, one of his favorite gummy bears and another that was a hard kind, before sliding the cubby back in.

“Good boy. Now open them,” Eddie instructed some more, and Steve’s face contorted in confusion before he tore the packages of candy open. “And dump them into the toilet.”

“What? No!” The words came out before Steve could stop them, hands tightening around the plastic packages. “That’s such a waste, you can’t just–”

“It’s not a waste if it’s teaching you a lesson. You put yourself in dangerous situations, and you lose your rewards,” Eddie leaned in further to him and his voice dropped down a bit. “Pour them into the toilet, baby. And then you’re going to flush them. It might help you remember not to try to play the hero next time. Daddy and Papa don’t need protection, okay?”

Billy hadn’t been expecting to find Eddie in dominant mode such a turn on, but he did. He wanted to bend him over the bottom bunk and rail him until Papa was screaming like a pretty little whore. 

After another few moments, Steve stood up with a sigh and went to stand above the toilet. It may have seemed like a silly punishment, but it wasn’t just candy he was having to flush. It felt like he was having to flush that addictive feeling that came with them, the feeling all the praise gave him. It made him feel horrible, like he’d done something so wrong, like he’d been bad, and if he stayed bad, they wouldn’t want him anymore. He had to be good, had to listen and be who they wanted him to be so they would just stay, so they would love him and be his family for real instead of playing pretend like it was all bullshit. Even if Billy could be rough sometimes, and even if he didn’t want to do everything they told him he had to, they wanted him, usually so much that they didn’t care if he wanted them back. Eddie didn’t pull his hand away when Steve reached to hold one, Billy didn’t turn him down when he asked him to climb down and sleep with him after the lights went out and his thoughts took over. He didn’t want to lose it, lose them, like he’d lost everyone else.

It was a feeling he didn’t want to feel again. It was the complete opposite to the high he normally got from the candy and praise.

The hard ones were dumped first, the sound of them clinking against the metal toilet filling the cell for a few moments. Then, after another glance at Eddie, he dumped the gummies in, too.

“Go on,” Eds prodded, and as Steve flushed the sweets away, Billy jumped down from the top bunk.

It definitely wasn’t any sort of punishment he would have given – he was more into the physical kind – but Steve did look upset, the wheels in his head turning and clearly overthinking the entire thing as if he’d just flushed half his soul instead of two small packages of candy that barely cost forty cents a piece. 

“I want you to think about this then next time you feel the need to step in,” Eddie reached out to twist Steve around until he was facing him and Billy. “We protect you. We look after you. Not the other way around. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” Steve mumbled.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Papa. I understand,” His cheeks turned red and Eddie brought his fingers up to brush over them. 

“Good boy. Now strip.”

Billy raised his eyebrows then, watching Eddie reach out to pry the packages from Steve’s hands to toss into the garbage so their boy could start peeling his clothes off. He’d left his hesitancy over being naked behind while Billy was gone, and was far more used to being nude. Still, he didn’t know what Eddie’s plans were, his own ideas running through his mind at a mile a minute.

Even though he wouldn’t look at them as he peeled his clothes off, Steve stripped down to his underwear before them. Once he was clad only in his briefs, hands not really sure what to do with themselves, he looked between both men, waiting for more instructions. 

“I think he should have something to remind him of what he’s done tonight, don’t you, Bills?” Eddie asked, still keeping his eyes on Steve. “Take them off, too, Stevie. I’ve got an idea.”

“I’m starting to like your ideas, sweetheart,” Billy laughed through his nose, eyes following the underwear as the fabric slid down Steve’s legs. 

“I’m full of good ones. Could’ve shared them a long time ago if you’d of let me indulge this side,” Eddie joked. He held his hand out for them, curling his fist around them. “I’m going to make a mess in these, and Daddy’s going to make a mess all over you, and you’re going to sleep in it, yeah? And then, when we go to the showers tomorrow morning, everyone’ll see what a mess you are before you wash it off.”

“Well, shit, Eds,” Billy laughed softly and Steve’s eyes went wide. “Couldn’t have come up with anything better myself. Didn’t know you were into humiliating pretty boys.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Hargrove,” Eddie teased. “I take it this sounds good with you, then? You approve?”

“Yeah, baby. I approve. All sounds good to me,” Billy pulled Eddie in for a kiss before nodding towards the bottom bunk. “Get on your bed, Stevie. On your back. Spread those lovely legs for me.”

Steve’s eyes prickled with tears a little bit at the idea, but he shifted past Eddie to do as he was told. He laid on his bunk, bending his legs at the knees and spreading them wide so Billy could stand between them at the edge and duck down enough to look in at him. It prevented Billy from having to get atop him and put any strain on his body – he could simply stand up straight and jack off above him, let his load out over Steve’s cock. It started to stir to life when Billy looked down at him, tongue snaking out over his lips as he got his cock out. 

Normally, Billy was against wanking off – he had no desire to, not when he had two babies with four holes and four hands between them – but he reminded himself that it served a purpose this time. 

“You’re gonna fall asleep with Daddy and Papa’s cum all over you, princess. Going to absolutely ruin your panties,” Billy muttered, more to himself. Steve felt around with one arm for the bears that lived on his bed all day. “You’re real lucky that Papa is so kind and gentle with you. I would have beat your ass bluer than that silly bear for doing something so stupid. But it’s okay, you can be a stupid baby. Only thing you have to worry about is pleasing us, we’ll teach you the rest,” He grunted, jutted his hips a little harder into his hand, before stopping and reaching for Steve’s, instead. Once Steve wrapped his hand around his thick cock, Billy covered it with his own to guide him along, setting the pace. “When I’m done with you, the only thing you’ll be able to think about is cock and candy and those bears, baby boy. Gonna be a perfect pet for us by the time we get out of here. Might get you a leash and everything when we get out, keep you close and spread open for whenever I need you. I think you’d like it more than you think, Stevie. Never having to worry about working, or bills, or any responsibility, your sole purpose to please. It’s what you’re good for, you know? Looking pretty and being a few tight holes for me. Can’t wait to finally tear that tiny little ass apart, fuck.”

The words didn’t hold any meaning, not to Billy. He wasn’t serious – of course Steve would be his pet, their pet, but it wasn’t all he was good for. There wasn’t a doubt in Billy’s mind that Steve would go on to be some sort of big deal when he was released, maybe a teacher or something with kids, but gushing about his faith in his pets wasn’t exactly his thing even if it somehow would have made for good dirty talk. In no way did he think his baby was stupid or incapable, he thought Steve was bright and clever and fun to be around, but he didn’t realize that Steve considered himself such. He didn’t know Steve’s insecurities and trauma and issues, didn’t know that words of him being a mindless sex pet would bother him.

He just didn’t see himself as being good for a lot of things. He didn’t consider himself to be smart, or clever, and he clearly couldn’t consider himself strong if he let Billy treat him like a bitch from day one. Even before getting locked up, he didn’t have much hope for his future, and it was even worse as the days went on. The only thing he felt good for was obeying them, and Eddie being upset with him had him questioning even that. 

“Don’t cry, Princess,” Billy’s voice shifted to a coo, free hand leaving Steve’s thigh to reach and wipe his cheeks. “You just gotta learn, that’s all. That’s why we’re here, to train you real good. Go on, say it. Tell us you’re gonna be our perfect little pet.”

When he didn’t immediately repeat the words, Billy came to a pause, stopping his hips and keeping his hand still. 

“Stevie. Say it. Tell Daddy you’re going to be such a good pet that all our friends are gonna be jealous, wish you were theirs. Maybe I’ll share you, train you to love it just like Papa. The more cocks you go though, the better. It’s what your body needs.”

“I’ll be good, I promise. I’ll be your perfect pet.”

Eddie let out a stifled groan from his place behind Billy at Steve’s shaky voice, almost immediately releasing into the underwear he was jacking himself off into. He’d been silently listening to Billy’s words and the sound of their hands around Billy’s cock as he got himself off; it hadn’t taken long after getting to look down at Steve on his knees for him. The image was enough wanking fuel for the next three weeks, at least.

“Good boy. I know you will. Did you hear that? You got Papa off,” Billy started to move their hands again, shifting his feet to position himself so he could spurt over Steve’s cock, his pubic hair, his thighs. He wanted to make a real mess of it just like Eddie had pictured. 

As he got closer, Eddie moved to toss the soiled underwear onto the bunk beside Steve before sliding his arms around Billy’s waist from behind. The act made him stiffen at first, but he relaxed when Eds dug his nails into his skin.

“You close, Daddy?” Eddie murmured, resting his chin on Billy’s shoulder so he could look down at Steve, too. “Jesus, just look at him. Those big eyes. Can’t believe he’s all ours.” Billy grunted at the words, a signal for him to keep going. “Look how pretty they are when they’re filled with tears, Bills. You think he’ll cry real hard when you fuck him? I’ll get him all ready for you. Stretch him open, have him waiting to be filled right up.”

Eddie slid his hand downwards, pushing their hands away until he could take over the motion and finish getting him off. He felt like he knew what his man liked better than Billy himself did, could milk the grunts and groans out of him with ease. When he came, Eddie was sure to get it just where he wanted it, and then proceeded to smear it along Steve’s cock afterwards. He wanted it to be uncomfortable, for Steve to feel the stickiness whenever he shifted. 

“Good boy. Now we put these back on, and you’re getting into bed,” Eddie murmured once Billy had backed up and out of the way, working to get Steve’s underwear back up and over his legs. Even though he was blinking out tears, Steve was hard, but Eds shook his head at him. “You don’t get to get off. Not tonight. If you ask Daddy after lights out, he might let you hump one of the bears, but you’re not getting off. You’re already too much of a mess as it is.”

His voice was gentle, kind, and he wiped Steve’s tears as he spoke, words followed by a kiss to his forehead. “Come on, into bed. I’ve got to go before they come and drag me away.”

It drove him insane, not being able to stick around and crawl into bed with his baby. He missed bunking with Billy – some of their deepest conversations always came in the dead of night. It sucked having to leave them every single day, even more so when he had to go back to Jason Carver.

He said goodnight to Steve one more time before standing up straight and looking at his old cellie. “Night, Bills. Take it easy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He yanked Eddie in for a kiss before shoving him towards the cell door. “Get out of here before you’re thrown into isolation, Eds. Tell Carver he’ll be meeting Jesus Christ himself tomorrow if he lays a hand on you tonight. I’ll even end him in the prison’s chapel so he doesn’t have as long of a trip to hell.”

[gonnagowherethedreamersgo]

I posted 438 times in 2022

62 posts created (14%)

376 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dailywilliams

@searchingforjunecarter

@tattoos-n-puffers

@still-into-paramore

@melindasordinos

I tagged 413 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#tegan and sara - 70 posts

#paramore - 40 posts

#hayley williams - 35 posts

#elliot page - 32 posts

#kristen stewart - 31 posts

#the umbrella academy - 29 posts

#taylor swift - 22 posts

#a league of their own - 22 posts

#the umbrella academy spoilers - 21 posts

#tegan quin - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#confirmed actually her baby from the liked comments on twitter and the podcast released today where she mentions installing a car seat cause

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

So, I took this guy’s information and maybe about a year later I emailed him and told him I was moving to Montreal. It was February the week I moved there and it was fucking freezing, the kind of cold where you know that if you stay out too long you’ll actually fucking die. Anyway, we began to hang out and go out for dinner, but I started to get the sense that maybe those dinners were like dates or something. I don’t know that to be true, and he seemed really cool and sweet, but after nine days or so I knew I had to just be straight up with him. I asked him if he knew any gay people and he said, ‘Actually I’m in art school with a girl and I think you’d really like her,’ and he took me over to introduce me to her. Her place was in a brownstone, kind of like in New York, and we climbed all the stairs up to the top apartment, and when we got inside there was what sounded to me like a horrible racket. The kind of music where you’re like, ‘What in the fuck is this?’. Then this girl comes around the corner and I was immediately kind of intimidated, because she was clearly gay and super cute. She took us into the living room and gave us a beer and then went to get ready because we were going to go to some kind of lesbian Meow Mix kind of event. I’ll never forget Antoine and I just looking at each other and I was like, ‘This song, right? Crazy!’ and it was “Fuck The Pain Away” by Peaches. Anyway, the end of that story is that I ended up dating that girl and she became our band’s art director, and has been our art director for almost 20 years. She absolutely fucking loved Peaches. I was so not ready for that electroclash sound at the time, but because I desperately wanted to be cool and I thought she was the coolest person in the world, I started to love everything that she loved. And so I became obsessed with Peaches too.

Sara Quin talking about meeting Emy for the first time

28 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#4

I felt so supported by everyone. We were shooting right after I disclosed that I’m trans, in total isolation. That was definitely an overwhelming period, but I feel so lucky that I was going to work and getting to be with so many supportive people. I’m so lucky to work with this cast. And in any moment that I did express fear and anxiety, I felt listened to and cared for. And obviously, that should be the case all the time, but we know how things are. So, it’s special. And that Steve, you would make the choice to do this and commit to doing it the right way. I feel like that’s the kind of showrunner you are and have been doing that the entire time we’ve been making the show, including last season with Sissy. So it was just building on already that you’re so wonderful because you have your distinct singular vision mixed with being so collaborative and I’m really grateful for that, always.

Elliot Page

30 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

#3

See the full post

31 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

#2

See the full post

58 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“I am deeply gay - sorry concerned, deeply concerned. It just feels like this is gonna make kids gay and trans - sorry depressed and suicidal, and I just think these laws are lesbians - sorry unconscionable!”

88 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

I took a day or so off because of life factors and now it’s a rainy Saturday and I’m gonna at least watch a few episodes and give some reactions to random stuff as well as note things I forgot or didn’t notice before. I at some point will stop doing an intro since I don’t think anyone is reading these consistently.

1.) I forgot El really just starts this episode back at the last time we saw her in episode 1, like almost a full year before season 2 starts.

2.) honestly I’d forgotten this sequence in general of her reaching through the placenta hole in the wall and then making it bigger.

3) I especially forgot that Mike kind of saw her through the window while agents are trying to get him to talk and he just keeps staring at the window like a dipshit

4.) I love this comically large tree that El can hide under that no one checks.

5.) Jonathan still does scrambled eggs and toast as a speciality

6.) Erica exists now

7.) the montage of the costumes us so cute

8.) Mike being a little bit racist

9.) I forgot literally no one else dressed up

10.) hopper is still very sweet and patient about Will when talking to Joyce

11.) I don’t care about these guys in the lab even though I probably should care about them fixing a power issue

12.) I fully understand where Nancy is coming from and I hate that at this point the Hollands are wasting their time and money and are tearing themselves looking for Barb when she will never come home. That being said, Steve isn’t wrong here. There is a shadowy agency that literally killed a man and covered it up as a suicide and covered up Will’s disappearance with a fake body that resulted in a funeral. They could really put themselves and others in danger. And something not fully discussed in this scene is: literally what would they even say? “hey, long story short, your daughter was killed by a creature from another dimension and her body is still there but you can’t talk to anyone about it or get her back or anything. Anyway, thanks for the McDonald’s.” Like that would be worse and they probably would not believe it anyway.

13.) Steve doesn’t even say forget forever, he asked to pretend to be normal on Halloween for one night

14.) I adore Max and if I’d known her in middle school, I’d desperately want to be her friend

15.) ok but how did el go from not knowing what half of food is to knowing how to skin and cook a squirrel? Like who taught her to do that? Her skill level varies wildly

16.) Billy is the fucking woooooooooooooorst and if he hadn’t died in season 3, it would have been something I did on my own in fanfic. People wanting to save him is crazy to me. He literally ran a bunch of kids off the road with his speeding car as one of the first things in the show!!!

17.) Jonathan not seeing what his mom likes bob is kind of hilarious to me because there’s a non insignificant chance that’s what he’s like when he’s 40

18.) still love Jonathan and will being adorable bros

19.) why is Billy so greasy???? Did he lather in baby oil before doing a keg stand???

20.) It was Nancy’s idea to go to this stupid party in the first place but now that she’s going with Steve instead of Jonathan, its a chore. Like ma’am you could have stayed home or insisted on doing some other normal thing. And by you, I mean the Duffers could have made up their minds

21.) bob and Joyce dancing in the living room is so cute

22.) every time max appears on screen I grin and whisper, ‘that’s my girl’, especially when she jump scares boys

23.) hop broke a promiseeeee but also that small child was only out there for hopper to buy candy off of

24.) max lives on Old Cherry Road

25.) Mike hating Max for no damn reason is so annoying

26.) jump scared right into the upside down

27.) Jonathan shows up to the party. Forgot that happened.

28.) all Steve was trying to do was stop Nancy from giving herself alcohol poisoning and he did apologize. But then she shatters his heart.

29.) Steve did leave her at the party which sucks but idk how I would be able to do anything else if someone called me a killer and said our love was bullshit

30.) I forgot El visits Mike through the void

31.) oh hi demodog. I remembered you were found in a trash can but not that you technically show up in episode 2, although not like seen by the audience

[ao3feed-scarletvision]

Whump It Up (Whumpril 2023)

by MissObsession

This work is a part of Whumpril 2023, prompts come from @Whumpril on Tumblr! I have never participated in an event to this scale, and I owe my ability to complete this one to the incredible prompts! I'm also not sure all of these are exactly whump, but I tried my best! Most of these jumped off the screen at me and took on a life of their own, and others were harder to accomplish. Tags will update daily as Chapters are added. Each Chapter Title is composed of the Prompts that were given for the day, and Chapter Notes will contain specific Characters in the Chapter so you know what to expect each day! I used all 3 Prompt options given for the chapter each day, and they are bolded in place in the work! Chapter length varies, I didn’t want to be too hard on myself about word count since this is my first major event and I was challenging myself. Another thing to note is that these are not interconnected, each chapter is its own story/snippet! Comments and Kudos are encouraged, I’m excited for reactions to the different stories each day! Happy Reading!

Words: 6906, Chapters: 7/30, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M, Gen

Characters: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Sam Wilson (Marvel), Vision (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff, James "Bucky" Barnes, OC Villian, Yelena Belova, Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, Natalia Romanova, The Winter Soldier

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Yelena Belova, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff/Vision

Additional Tags: Post-Movie: Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Sarcastic Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Minor Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, mentions of avengers age of ultron, Wanda Maximoff Has PTSD, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov Friendship, not according to plan, Team Cap - Freeform, post age of ultron avengers team, fugitive Avengers, Angst, post raft prison, Implied Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov - Freeform, preexisting bucky barnes/natasha romanov, According to Plan, Undercover, sometimes deep cover isnt that deep, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky and Natasha are a dream team, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post Thunderbolts (written pre Thunderbolts), Yelena and Bucky are a good team, post thunderbolts team, pretty sure i failed at whump, Natasha and Bucky get tattoos, Close Quarters, A little flirting never killed anyone right, Wanda isnt suicidal, Vision is baby, Wanda needs therapy but Vision will do, depressed Wanda, Grieving Wanda, Sweet Vision (Marvel), Vision is an angel

from AO3 works tagged 'Wanda Maximoff/Vision' https://ift.tt/0537kwS via IFTTT

[luveline]

Request idea!! Steve or Eddie w a girlfriend who gets chronic migraines??? Both of them would be so sweet and doting and soft with their girl!! Rubbing her head and comforting her through throwing up due to the pain

thank u for your request! TW for suicidal ideation and throwing up

Migraine doesn't feel like a strong enough word, in Steve's humble opinion, to describe what it is you're going through. Legs crossed in the bed you've barely left for three days, bent over at the waist, your hands pressed to your cheeks and your eyes swollen from all the crying. 

You don't like to be touched during a migraine so Steve has to compromise, sitting on the floor next to the bed with his hand up on the mattress, fingers wrapped around the ankle of your pajama pants. 

"You're seizing up," he says carefully. "Try and take a big breath." 

You oblige him, shuddering. He can hear the telltale hitch in your breath before you throw up, climbing up on his knees to move the bucket back into your lap. You don't have much to throw up, a few mouthfuls of oatmeal you'd only managed because he begged you to. 

The pain as you throw up is white hot, he knows, your hand searching for his and squeezing until he has pins and needles, so hot it keeps you basically silent until you're done. When you are you sob, breathless and tired and, worst, defeated. 

Steve knocks away the part of him that's always so paralysed by your pain and instead becomes the person you both need him to be. He leaves for the bathroom and empties your sick bowl, cleans it out, grabs your toothbrush and toothpaste and a glass of water. 

"Here," he says when he returns. "Have a drink." 

You're still sobbing. It takes a lot for him to persevere without stopping to rub your back. His hands shake minutely as he squeezes toothpaste onto your brush. You've thrown up so much it scares him, but there's not much to be done besides countermeasures – keeping you hydrated, taking care of your poor mouth, anything to keep you going until the pain abates. 

You drink your water and tears rush down your face in fat drops. 

"Stevie," you say after a small sip, "I can't do this." 

"You can." 

"I just wanna die." 

"I know. Here," he says, handing you your toothbrush. "Spit in the bucket. I'm gonna go get another ice pack, okay? A minute, tops." 

He feels evil for leaving you, fast down the stairs to the freezer for the ice pack, wrapping it up in a soft hand towel. Your words repeat in his head. I just wanna die. I just wanna die. 

"Out of ten, baby, how bad is it?" he asks at the door, risk assessing. Wondering if you need to go to the ER. 

"Nine." 

He chews his cheek and sits at your legs, offering you the cold compress. You take it and press it to your head. He wipes his hand down your cheek softly, clearing up the smudge of your tears. 

"Do you want me to take you to the ER? Because I will. If you need to go, we'll go," he says, trying to keep his voice calm. Steady. 

"There's nothing they can do," you whisper. 

"I know," Steve whispers back. Though maybe they could be persuaded to let you take some oramorph. Or ketamine. 

"There's nothing they can do," you repeat. 

Steve moves the bucket off of the bed and sits beside you tentatively. You place your hand at the crook of his elbow and follow down, your palms clammy, boiling hot as they slide down to his wrists and then his thigh. 

"I'm sorry for saying that," you murmur. "You don't have to worry." 

"When you last had painkillers, do you remember which ones they were?" he asks. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Baby." Steve covers your hand with his. "Come on. Don't be sorry. You're in a lot of pain right now. I'm not gonna hold you to anything you say, alright? And," his voice drops to an almost indecipherable volume, "if you want to? I don't blame you, but it would, like, jackhammer my heart into crumbs." 

You sniffle. 

"You're okay," he says. 

"Yeah." 

"How's it feel now?" 

"Like an eight." 

"That's better. Try and keep breathing slow." 

You spend long minutes calming down. Eventually you lie down. Steve moves your pillow and blanket yo get you comfortable and turns on the desk fan to soothe your sweaty skin. 

"Will you come lie down with me?" you ask weakly. 

"Been waiting all day for that question," he says, smiling wide. 

You moan to yourself as he cuddles in close but cautious, turned on his side, his arm thrown over your abdomen. "Is this okay?" he asks. 

"Yeh." You turn your neck slowly. "I know I'm gross right now…" 

"You're not," he says adamantly. 

"Liar." 

"I'm not lying!" He looks over your face affectionately. You're not gross, he's done a good job of taking care of you, if he might say so himself. "You want something. A kiss?" Then, at your guilty smile. "You want a kiss, babydoll? C'mere, I'll give you all the kisses you want." 

He follows up his softest tone with softer kisses, planting pecks like budding flowers over your lips and cheeks. You smile despite the crease between your brows indicating what has to be intolerable pain. 

"Love you," he says, an inch from your lips. "You're doing so well." 

You raise a hand to his hair and pull your fingers through it. He shivers. 

"Love you, too," you say. 

He almost hiccups with affection for you, pressing another gentle kiss to your lips before dropping back down. 

"Try and get some rest, yeah? Let's sleep," he says, pleading. 

You nod, looking halfway there already. You won't manage long, an hour or two before the painkillers fade completely, but anything will help. Even in your tired, pained state, you still search for his hand like you do every night, still stroke your thumb over his knuckles until you're both sleeping soundly.

[prettybabybaby]

¡ 18+ only ! ¡ minors do not interact !

content: DUBCON, THREATS OF SUICIDE, toxic relationship, possessive!steve, fem!reader, manipulation, coercion, unprotected sex, forced (?) breeding

¡ stranger things masterlist !

"Break up?" Steve said incredulously. "What do you mean 'break up'?" He runs his hands through his hair, shaking his head slightly, "no, you can't leave. We're not breaking up."

What has gotten into you? You've gone insane, surely. There was no way you'd get away from him. He felt anger and frustration at the way you stood near the door. Your hair was nicely done and your clothes were ironed. He could smell your sweet perfume and see your lucky socks poking out from your favorite shoes. You're trying to build confidence. You're still weak.

"I-" you paused, looking away from him, "I can't do this anymore, Steve."

"Why not? You promised. You remember that, don't you? You said we'd be together forever and what, now you're leaving me because of some stupid mistake?" The thought of you slipping through his fingers made his skin itch.

"It wasn't a mistake!" Your lips wobbled, "You're insane, Steve! You're making shit up, twisting reality. I can't do it anymore." You look dejected, tired.

Steve scoffed, "making shit up?"

Your piece of shit coworker has a crush on you, it's clear as day. He meddles in your relationship, planting false ideations into your head. He's a little too possessive, he tells you, that can't be healthy. Who is he to speak? He doesn't know you or Steve and he sure as hell doesn't know anything about your relationship.

"Steve," you plead, "he's my friend. He's just a friend looking out for me."

"So you agree with him? You're ridiculous. He got was coming to him." Steve's expressionless, staring at your look of disbelief. He can see the wheels in your head spinning, trying to figure him out.

"You've lost it," you breathe. "I'm sorry, Steve, but I really can't do this anymore." You turned to leave.

Slipping, slipping, slipping.

Your fingers only brushed the door handle when he spoke again, panic laced in his voice, "baby, please, I can't live without you."

You stopped and he could hear your breath hitch. "I'd rather die than live without you." It's a sensitive topic, he knows that but what else was he to do? You've left him with no other choice. You're silent for a few seconds, "what would I do without you?"

"Stevie, please don't say that," your voice is small, weak, and broken.

"I will if you leave me. You don't want me to hurt myself, do you?"

Your back moves as you sob, head falling forward, "no."

Steve feels a sense of satisfaction. Your hand dropped from the handle and moved to cover your face as you cried. He stood and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your shaking body, "s'okay, baby, I'm safe as long as you're with me. We can get through this."

You nod, finally meeting his eyes. Your eyes are lined with smudged makeup, red and glassy from crying. He leans in to kiss you, happy when you melt into his touch, eagerly kissing him back. Your tears slide into the cracks of your lips and the salty taste makes him sigh.

Steve picks you up, carries you to your shared bed, and gently climbs over you. Your skin is soft under his fingers as he feels up every crevice of your body, focusing on the places you liked most. How could he be a bad boyfriend if he had every part of you committed to memory? You're the only thing on his mind, day and night.

He sucks your thighs, leaving marks as he gets closer and closer to your little cunt. You whimper when he takes your clit into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue and diving into your folds. He pulls away once he's satisfied, savoring the taste of your - his - pretty pussy.

His cock aligns with your clenching hole that aches to be filled. He sinks in with a shaky breath, slowly thrusting into your dripping heat. He'll never tire of the look of pleasure on your face as you squirm under him, tears still leaking from your eyes and mouth slightly ajar, whining and whimpering.

He can't believe he almost lost you. It could never happen again. It would never happen again. "I told you we'd be together forever," his voice is raspy as he reaches to cradle your face, passionately kissing your puckering lips. "I love you so much."

You'll be his forever once he fucks his cum into your womb, breeding you, tying you to him. A symbol of your love in the form of a growing entity. A piece of him tethered to you.

"M'gonna cum inside you," he groaned. The head of his cock kisses your cervix as he thrusts harder.

The look on your face shifted from pleasure to pain and he found himself just as entranced by the hurt so evident in your eyes where he could see the light flickering almost like you were succumbing to your fate. He knew you wouldn't resist with the threat of his life hanging above your head.

You may not want it now, but you will. Eventually, you'll see and feel what he does. You don't need anybody else.

[lokisprettygirl]

The Bodyguard (Loki x Female reader) (Au) (18+)

Read chapter 30 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 31

Summary : You were enamoured by him the moment you set your eyes upon him, after basking in his kindness, is it really possible for you to allow him to become just a memory?

Warning : 18+, Heavy Daddy kink, Smut, Violence, Mentions of self harm, murderous thoughts, Mention of Suicide, Rape, abuse, sexual violence, Harsh language, bodyshaming, fatshaming, mention of neglect and abuse, emotional abuse, Unhealthy Eating Patterns, blackmail, starving and under eating, implied smut, mention of drug use, some weird feeding kink I’m (loki is) developing, short chapter

"I'm not going to pick you Loki" 

He heard you, loud and clear and his heart broke in pieces all over again. He won't be picked? Not even as an option this time? He had hurt you terribly and he understood that but he really hoped that you'd be able to see that he never wanted to hurt you just to hurt you, he made a mistake but maybe he didn't deserve this second chance and if you won't pick him, he still wanted to be your friend. 

"Okay okay okay..don't pick me.. don't love me darling ..it's okay..it's okay..I deserve this" he wiped his tears even though he felt excruciating pain that was weakening him more and more every second but he wanted to stay strong because he really wanted to get through to you this time. He didn't want you to give up on life. He didn't want you to marry Steve.

"I don't need anything from you, but please let me help you, let me take you out of here, I can't watch you ruin your  whole life like that..just let me –" you cut him off before he could speak further and cupped his cheeks, your thumb rubbed over his sharp cheekbones and you leaned down to kiss his forehead, 

"I am not going to pick you because picking you means you are an option for me, a choice that I'd have to make from my own will but that's wrong..so wrong" your voice cracked and he looked up at you all wide eyed and confused.

"You never were a choice loki, I never picked you. I just fell in love, hard and fast, so fast because I have never met a man like you before. I have been around the world but I never knew or even heard of a man so kind, so pure, so gentle, so sweet and so so lovable, the way you have changed me for good in the past few months is shocking to me even, a lifetime with you would be nothing short of a blessing for me..so no loki I'm not going to pick you because you're not an object to be picked, you're unique and precious, one of your kind. I want you, I need you, I love you but I'm not going to pick you because you are in there with me for every moment that I exist" 

He had started to sob in the middle of your words, by the time you finished he was clutching onto you and sobbing again. He has never felt so appreciated in his life and for a moment he thought he was dreaming. Did you still love him so deeply after he had hurt you ? 

"I'm sorry darling I'm sorry I'm sorry..I love you so much and I'm sorry I broke you like that, I'm supposed to protect you and I failed..I failed" you wrapped your arms around his neck as he cried to his heart's content, he had allowed you to let it out before and you wanted to do the same for him, he had repressed feelings regarding abandonment and you didn't want him to keep it all in anymore.

"You didn't fail lo, you just made a mistake, I did too once but you forgave me and you know how much I love you so please please trust me, there are so many things I want to tell you about my past, I just thought I'll tell you once we are out of here, I never thought it would go this way and I can't take it, you being distant and mean to me..I can't take it" he placed his chin on your torso and looked up at you ..like a baby. 

"I am sorry baby, i'm not going to make excuses for my behavior that day, nothing can justify the way I treated you and I can only promise to not do it again, that only if you still want me love " you leaned down and kissed him as soon as finished, he cupped your cheeks and stood up without breaking that kiss, your head tilted up as he towered over you suddenly, he felt your fingernails running through the back of his neck and one of his arm wrapped around your neck while the other one curled over your shoulders, as he pulled away from the kiss, his lips peppered kisses on your neck. 

You felt as if you could finally breathe properly, it wasn't easy for you to build up the strength and open your heart again but you knew you couldn't let go of his hand when all he wanted to do was hold it all life long. 

"Lokii" you stepped away from him suddenly and he looked at you, worry filled his eyes "I'm so scared" he stepped closer to you and pulled you towards him

"About us?" He asked you softly so you looked in his eyes,

"Umm that too but our situation, I'm getting married in ten days, nine now" your eyes welled up again and so did his, before he could say something you spoke again.

"And I want you to be careful please, what you're doing with Katlyn is going to hurt you and if something happens to you–" 

"Nothing will harm me I promise, just trust me please, I…I intended to send you away from here whether you chose to be mine or not" he kissed your forehead and that's when you broke down too, he quickly embraced you in a warm hug, last week was hell for both of you and to be real all of this still felt like a dream to you and you were afraid of waking up all alone again. 

"I'm so sorry baby..I'm so sorry little one..I'm sorry for what I said about you acting like a child, I never meant to take away the vulnerability you shared with me, you're my baby and you always will be" he pressed soft kisses on your bare shoulder as you clung to him, and lord if he wasn't the happiest man on earth to be able to feel you holding him so tightly again. You whimpered as his words weakened you finally, the strong facade you held was broken, you sniffled and cried while you held onto him tightly.

Once you calmed down he pulled you away, wiped your moist face with the sleeves of his coat and took two steps away from you. Then he just looked at you, he just stopped for a moment, took a deep breath and just admired the beauty and strength you held within you, you never were supposed to be amongst such fake abusive people.

"You look beautiful..love the color on you baby" he smiled a little and it made you feel flushed.

"Thank you, it brought me comfort, but the fit is too tight" you chuckled and he smiled again. He noticed how your fingers clasped with each other in sudden nervousness. He was crying on his knees for you a few minutes ago but he had switched into the soft daddy mode really quickly.

"You want to change?" He asked you and you crossed your arms, your palm rubbed over your upper arm. 

"You want me to leave?" He smiled and shook his head at the response, he walked towards the closet and took a t- shirt out as well as a fresh towel

"You can stay here, nobody would notice tonight"  your heart fluttered as he said that.

You grabbed the shirt and the towel from him, 

"Ummm unzip me please " you mumbled as you turned around, he pulled your hair to the side and the touch made you shiver, you had missed his soft loving sensuous touch.

He pulled the zipper down slowly and he heard you exhale, his fingers curled around the thin straps as he pulled them down, then you felt his lips on the side of your neck, the gesture made you moan in response and he knew he had to step away, you both needed to talk and he won't get the chance to be so free with you in the coming days.

"Shower and change okay? I'll be right here" you nodded and bit on your lips as you walked towards the bathroom, a smile apparent on your features.

Even his bathroom smelled like the mixture of his cologne and body wash, he didn't have wipes or anything so you just used the facewash to scrub the makeup off as well as you could, he didn't have any serum or skincare products either, his bathroom didn't have anything and you realized that you will have to get used to being without such amenities, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. You smiled as you stepped out in just his shirt, it went past your mid thighs, you had your underwear on.

"Ummm do you have a moisturizer?" he looked at your soft plump freshly scrubbed face and smiled.

"I do but it's for men I guess, will that be alright?" He asked you as he went through his dresser.

"It's perfect, I just need a little of it" he passed you the tube and then he went inside the bathroom to shower and change as well. You opened his dresser to keep the tube of moisturizer inside because fuck boundaries. It had the bottle of cologne he used that wasn't very pricey but as soon as you opened the cap it comforted you instantly, you associated the smell with him, there was a hairbrush, a shaving kit, a box of trimmer that he probably used for trimming his itsies bitsies, why were you even thinking about it now? That's why you shouldn't go through personal belongings of other people. 

You were going to close the dresser but then your eyes fell upon a photograph, it was a picture of a family, a woman with dark brown hair surrounded by three kids. You gasped as you recognised Loki immediately, curly black hair and cute little smile, those green eyes popped out. 

There was a blond boy next to him that was Thor.

"How come you used to be so skinny?" You chuckled and then you looked at the girl on his left side, that was probably his sister, she had raven hair too, her smile matched him too even though they weren't related by blood.

 Your eyes teared up as you continued to stare at the picture, they all looked happy, a happy family, family that you never got to have, not for long anyways.

You closed the dresser and looked at yourself in the mirror.

"Gods you look horrible" you fixed your hair with your fingers and sat down on his bed, when he came out he was dressed in his usual sleeping clothes, no shirtless loki today. Fine.

He smiled as he looked at you, his hair was dripping wet and slicked back, giving it a longer appearance. He looked like an angel. He grabbed the plate of the cake and walked towards you, he was thoughtful like that, he didn't have to bring it you knew that.

"You know the birthday girl is supposed to have the first bite of the cake right?" He smiled and your eyes teared up 

"Nobody asked if I wanted it.. besides it's Katlyn's favorite flavor, she insisted upon it" he cut a small bite with the fork and pressed it over your lips.

"Do you not like red velvet darling?" He asked you and you took a bite 

"I love red velvet " 

"Then eat for me okay?" He offered you another bite and you took it immediately.

"Mmm are you going to feed me like this, get me hooked and then leave me again?" You complained like a scorned child

"To be fair I wasn't the one that did the leaving" 

"You know what I mean" 

"I do and the answer is always no, I never intended or wanted to leave" 

You grabbed his wrist and made him sit down next to you, then you fed him a bite and two. 

You didn't like the icing very much so he fed you the bread only and got up to place it back on the dresser and walked towards you again, he placed his fingers on your chin to make you look at him and then he bent down to kiss you, you clutched onto is shirt as you laid down on the bed , taking him along with you 

"Happy birthday little one, I'm sorry I wasn't able to make this one special but I promise your next one will be memorable, it will be your real birthday baby..I love you .I love you so much" he whispered between the kisses and your eyes teared up. 

"But you did, you did make it special lo" 

He didn't respond with words this time. Once he was done with his fill of kisses he laid down next to you and snuggled you into him 

"Okay ask me for a birthday gift" he smiled as he perched himself on his elbows, your eyes twinkled and you looked at him mischievously, the next words blew his mind 

"Dadddy" damn that got him hard instantly

"Yes baby" 

"Can I suck your cock tonight?" 

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[tryingmybestpls]

Me and My Husband

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: The reader warns herself of her relationship with Steve Rogers.

Rating: R

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Infidelity, miscarriage, depression, suicidal thoughts

No one will tell you what to do when you find out your husband is cheating on you. No one tells you that whether you stay or you leave him, everything you do will be judged ruthlessly. So you just pretend. You will pretend like its not happening, like you haven't seen the text messages on his phone or heard the whispers when you visit the Compound upstate. You'll ignore them the best you can, pray that somehow you got this all wrong. But you can read minds, so you get it straight from him that he's cheating on you.

You'll keep your head held high, ignoring the issue as much as possible. You act like nothing is amiss, even though everyone that you work it-or have worked with-knows the truth. They all know your husband was having an affair and they wonder if you know. You can see their questions as they appear in their heads. You plaster a smile on your face, wishing to be in your bed so you just cry. You'll get bombarded with their thoughts and it'll make you feel like you're drowning.

You'll never bring it up to your husband, but he knows that you know. You've promised that you'd never read his mind, but he knows that you have. You know every gritty little detail of the affair and he knows. He is reminded of it every time he sees you lying in the bed you once shared, your back to him. He's reminded of what he did every time the two of you visit the Compound upstate, when everyone gives her looks of sympathy while he gets glares that bore into his skin. Every time your eyes meet his, he is reminded that he didn't care about the sanctity of marriage and because of that you'll never look at him the same way ever again.

You'll spend moments wondering what you did wrong. Did you not love him enough? Not give him enough attention? Instead of being mad at your husband, you're mad at yourself. Wanting to think about what you could have done instead of thinking that your husband just didn't love you. It'll be easier to blame yourself and you'll live with this bundle of hatred for yourself.

A betrayal by the people closest to you. Your husband and your best friend. Your husband and your maid of honor. The two people you loved most in the world sleeping together and losing your trust, losing you. You wanted it to be anyone but her, anyone else. You prayed and begged that somehow his thoughts betrayed him and he didn't sleep with her, but you know deep down that he did. Her face is all over his memories. She won't meet your eyes and you've stopped taking her calls.  You will want to hurt her, kill her. Want to make her brains spool out from her head because you're so God damned hurt. She isn't friend anymore. Friends don't betray you. Friends don't sleep with your husband. Friends don't make a mockery of your marriage. Friends don't-

Cry.

You'll find yourself crying a lot. It's an endless stream of tears that leave your head pounding and your eyes aching. It's the type of crying that makes your throat and entire chest hurt, the types of crying that leaves you feeling hollow. You must be dehydrated with how much you're crying. Your husband will come home to see your eyes red and watery. He used to be so concerned when he saw you post-crying, but that was before your marriage imploded. He knows he is the reason why you're crying, so he doesn't bother asking anymore. And that only makes you cry even more.

A night of emotions being too high and apologies that he doesn't mean result will in a positive pregnancy test and you're stuck in marriage with three people. You, your husband, and the other woman. It's too cramped and you feel like you can't breathe. It's suffocating.

When you get pregnant, people will whisper it's a save the marriage baby. None of their smiles will meet their eyes and their pity will be written all over their faces. They congratulate you nonetheless, calling you a fool once your back is turned. Having a baby with a man that betrayed her with her best friend.

They'll ask you how he feels about it. Not how you feel because you're not allowed to have feelings anymore. You gave up your feelings when you chose to ignore his infidelity. They'll ask you how he reacted, if he is happy. You don't want to tell them that he just nodded when you told him, his face not giving away way what he felt about the news. You don't to tell them at he left immediately to go see her as soon as you got into the shower.

She will be in the room when you tell the remaining members of your team, both holograms and in person. Hidden in plain sight, she sits among the people you call your friends-at least the ones that remain. His eyes meet hers when the news falls from your lips and you can hear her whisper in her mind "What are we going to do?". As your friends and teammates walk up to congratulate the two of you, she takes her time getting up, takes her time to walk over to you. She looks you in the eye and says that the two of you are going to be great parents. Three of us in this marriage and I can't breathe.

You'll wonder every day as your stomach grows if the man who you married hates you. He's stuck in this house that he had built, with the family he had wanted, in loveless marriage because he messed up and you found out. It doesn't stop him from leaving at night, showering immediately when he comes back. They both know you aren't stupid. You know what they are doing, but your heart can't break anymore. You'll tell yourself that he'll stop when the baby comes, but you know that's a lie, but it's a lie you keep repeating to yourself in hopes of it coming true.

Sometimes, you will dive into his mind when he is asleep next to you. He'll never know that you've snuck inside, but you get to see every moment of their relationship. It's sadistic and all it does is make you more upset, but you can't help yourself. You need to know how far it goes, if they love each other or if it's just a physical thing. She fills up more of his memories than you do. You're being replaced and there isn't a thing you can do about it. You can only watch it happen.

And no one will tell you what to do when you start to bleed. It will seems to pour endlessly from you, staining the cream colored sheets. Your husband won't be beside you, he's off with her. So instead, through the pain, you drive yourself to the hospital, blood covering the seat. Tears streaming down your face as you force yourself to walk into the emergency room, hand on your stomach. You'll lean on the receptionist's desk and calmly tell her "I think I am losing my baby." as blood drips down your legs. No one tells you who to call. Should you interrupt your husband's time with his mistress? Make him hate you more? No. Instead, you call your friend, the one who has always been like a brother to you. The one who lives a few hours away with his wife and their newborn daughter. You'll wait for him, sitting alone in a hospital room as nurses run tests on you.

No one will tellyou how you are supposed to react when they come in and tell you that your baby-a boy, you learn-is gone. Your bump is still there, so how can he be gone? He. A sweet baby boy that you'll never get to meet. When Tony arrives, you can't get the words out. Saying it aloud will mean it's true. But he knows. He knows as soon as he walks through the door that the baby is gone. He doesn't bring it up and instead sits next to you, where your husband should be, and holds your hand. Your hand in his while you other hand cradles your bump. Your husband will return home the next morning to find your car gone with blood smeared everywhere. For the first time in months, he'll call your phone, wondering what was going on.

Tony will be the one who answers the phone when you're in surgery, the doctors wanting to make sure the contents of your womb are completely out. He'll be the one who tells your husband that you lost your baby. Tony will be the one to tell him to stop calling. Before your friend hangs up, Tony will tell your husband that he caused this, that his infidelity direct caused your miscarriage.

In that time, you'll finally lose it. It's like you're finally reacting to everything. You'll be drowning in anger, in sadness, in sorrow. How you managed this far you'll never understand. Tony will bar your husband and his mistress from coming anywhere close to your hospital room. Your life is falling apart at the seams and you're losing control of everything. You're unable to sleep, unable to eat. The last thing you've had was your baby and now that he's gone-Well you don't have anything left. You just want all of the pain to end and you'll tell Tony that. He'll will be worried and he'll ask for you to be put into a seventy-two hour hold. While this is happening, while your brain is being picked in order to see if you're going to harm yourself, Steve will be throwing away the bloody bed and getting rid of the ruined sheets and blankets.

Tony will decide that you can't go back to your home you share with Steve, but you also can't stay with him. He has a baby and you just lost yours. It's not right for you to stay there. So instead he takes you to Asgard's new home. You'll be thousands of miles away from the home you had wanted to raise a family in, away from your husband. Thor and Valkyrie will welcome you with open arms, helping you transition into your new lifestyle as you grieve. Tony will handle the divorce proceedings and Steve will get a new bed. Your things will be packed up and sent to you and you'll be completely removed from your husband.

And when Bruce and Rocket come knocking on your door three years later, begging for your help, you'll be forced to make a choice. And you'll sit there in your tiny cottage next to Thor's, thinking about what to do. And then you'll agree to help because you want to bring back half of the universe. You love saving people and it doesn't matter if you feel uncomfortable, you are going to help bring people back.

So when that beautiful man with the baby blue eyes comes up to you after a mission, a million dollar smile stretched across his nervous face and asks you to go on a date, heed this warning. He'll be amazing at first, but it'll go down hill so fast. Know that you were never his first choice, you were the only available one.

If you don't heed the first warning and you do go on a date with the blonde man, don't marry him. The marriage is a sham, something you'll do a year after half of the universe turns into dust. You'll be excited and it'll seem like he's really happy, but he isn't. He just wants purpose again and he won't get it from the marriage. He'll emotionally leave you and you'll try to stick it out.

Being with Steve Rogers will only end in pain, so save yourself the heartbreak and stay away.

[mirkysconcubinefiction]

Masterlist

■■ ■■ ■■

MirkysConcubineFiction Fictions are written for my enjoyment and to disassociate for reality.

Dark themes - angst - fluff - It's a bit raunchy and you're responsible for your own media consumption.

Reader Inserts are written as **** vs Y/N. It's easier for me. If you see **** it can imply first, last, middle, or whole name.

I do have an AO3.

I write Captain America, Winter Soldier. Harry Potter, Spiderman/Deadpool, Twilight, and I read so much more but ideas are always welcome :)

There's more... I just need to edit my shit and post vs angst over it so I can post the other shit I have saved up to torture the interested with.

😅 fun fact - I don't respond to reviews only cuz my porn account is my default apparently so it won't be mirkysconcubinefiction but ###. Fun times. Not ignoring you on purpose just awkward.

🖤🖤💝🖤🖤

■■ ■■ ■■

Steve Roger:

Just No - WIP

Summary: You're the bastard child of Kingpin. You're the girlfriend of Captain America. The classic tale of girl overhears they were an 'assignment' and the boy admits that yes, he had a girlfriend but he loves you now. Shit hits the fan - will girl forgive boy? Will boy let girl go one he finds out she's hiding something? Will girl throw it all away for love? Would the boy?

Notes: Angst x Fluff x Happy Ending x asshole Steve x Suicidal Thoughts x 🔫 x mentions of Abortion x Mental Health x Dark Themes

Story Here

I Thought You Should Know - Complete

Summary: A simple story of you (****) finding out that it was all a lie.

Excerpt: It was your fault really. Maybe those novels had fucked you up with hope and dreams.

Notes: Angst x Cheating x Affair x Drama x Suicidal Thoughts

Story - Here

Bucky Barnes:

You Know Series

Here

Pairings: Steve x Reader (past) • Bucky x Reader

Steve Roger had an affair and you run away only for Bucky Barnes to follow you. It's a interesting journey of stalking and falling in love while learning to accept each other as they were.

Warning: Affair x Dark Themes x Stalker x Questionable Reader x Angst x Fluff

Part 3 a WIP - under revision.

Kinda the Secretary

Mob!Bucky x Reader

Summary: You're undercover and Bucky knows you're there for him. He's wrong of course - you're there for a vacation.

Here

Affair

Stuff: Angst - Short - Betrayal - Toxic Family - Miscarriage Mentioned - Tears.

Summary: He had cheated and life isn't fair but time will do you justice.

Here

Petty - complete

Mafia!Bucky

Warnings: Angst, Cheating, Pregnancy, Domestic Abuse, Postpartum, Guns, Running Away, Swearing, Abandonment, Possessiveness, Divorce, Dark/Mob Themes.

Summary: The Affair doesn't surprise you. Bucky pointing a gun at you didn't scare you, him threatening to shoot you didn't make you flinch. He crossed a line and you run, cutting ties with your ex, baby, everything you had built over the past decade. Desperate you call an old friend and hope they can help...

HeRe

Stucky:

Beautifully Broken - Complete

Notes: Dark Themes x Mentions of Child Se*ual Abuse (no details) x Mental Health Issues x Suicidal Thoughts x Self Harm (not graphic) x asshole Steve Roger's x Pastel Goth design

Summary: She had been the odd one in the group. The interloper. A soldier that had been added to their group courtesy of a favor Steve would be the first one to admit he had been part of the problem with the team accepting her.

Story - Here

Executioner - Complete

Here

Pairing: Captain Hydra x Agent Reader x Winter Soldier. (Steve x Reader x Bucky)

Notes: Sex Pollen (kinda) x Dark Cast × Dubious Consent

Summary: "The mission is canceled." And with that both men left the training room with you none the wiser.

 As and Agent for HYDRA a mission is a mission and an injury won't keep you from succeeding. Too bad you caught the eye of Captain HYDRA and the Winter Soldier.

They wanted you.

That's all that mattered.

Short and Sweet

Summary: You go on vacation... the boys are party poopers.

Here

No Goodbyes

A/B/O

Summary: They were you best friends turned lovers, they joined the military with promises to take you away too but they lied. Fuck them. On your own, successful, you meet them again and you hate that they won't just leave you the fuck alone!

Notes: Angst x Dark Themes x Omega to Beta transition x Toxic Family x Mention of Abortion x Kidnapping x Swearing x Major AU...

♡Chapters Posting Soon♡

Ch 1 - complete • Ch 2 - complete • Ch 3 - WIP

Pretty in the Brain

Notes: Beautiful and Brilliant reader with touches of Angst and Depression.

Summary: They wanted you because you were pretty, esthetically pleasing, you just wanted to be left alone.

HeRe

Other Pairings:

Trisum

Sam x reader x Bucky

Notes: Hella short.

Summary: How it all starts.

Here

Maurader

Peter Parker

Summary: Decisions are made. Actions have consequences and Peter doesn't consider himself a Hero anymore. He's a thief that defends his bounty.

Here

Quietly Jaded - WIP

Pairing: Omega!Peter/Alpha!Kingpin -- Omega!Peter\Avengers

Summary: Peter Parker is an Omega masquerading as a Beta. A story of student loans, Avengers wanting Spiderman, Avengers wanting Peter Parker for his Omega status, and Peter just done with them. He doesn't need them - he already has an Alpha. Not the best Alpha but... Well... Fuck.

Tags: Major AU, ABO world, Heats/Ruts, Drug Abuse, Dark Personalities, College Peter, Dubious Consent, more added later.

***UNDER HEAVY REVISION***

You Decide

SpideyPool

A/N: this is a 'What if Scenario'. Deadpool can either be a Grade A asshole or has been framed to appear as a Grade A asshole. You Decide.

Plot: Established Relationship. Peter has chosen TeamDeadpool and that comes with him breaking from the Avengers, specifically Tony. A message is sent to Peter and he has a breakdown.

Angsty, dark, depressing, suicidal breakdown.

In the end the Reader decides. Is this a Major Character Death fic or Angsty but not Dead (but almost) fic? Is Deadpool Guilty?

Here

Crossovers:

I Thought You Should Know - Complete

sequel

Crossover w/ Superman.

Complete - Here

Clark Kent x Reader x Lex Luthor - Lex Luthor x Clark

Notes: Angst with Happy Ending x affairs x Cheating x Exploitation of a Child (no details) x Dark Themes x Dark Steve Roger's

Summary: Time passes and you (****) come back to stir trouble, get even, and maybe move on to better options? A girl can dream right?

Drabbles and Plots:

Omega trope 1

Random: bucky/reader/Steve- omega reader - meh... if you can make it better @ me so I can read 🖤

HeRe

Plot Idea - sex pollen inspired.

Here

Plot Idea 2

Reader can jump through portals. Soulmate AU/ABO inspired. Stealing the Tesseract.

Here

Plot Idea 3

Peter Parker inspired.

Here

Plot Idea 4

*Mob! x Peter Parker*

Here

Omega Trope 2

*Alpha Stucky (Steve/Bucky)

Omega Reader (Dark BAMF)

Here

Original Fiction:

Cliffs Edge - Complete (for now)

Bedlamite (villain) x Reader

*not gender specific.

*death, carnage, suicidal themes, warlord fantasy theme, not betad, aaaand lust/obsession if you squint.

Summary: Bedlamite was his name, destruction his cause, Death his shield, and madness his armor. A Beast of a man with a thirst for blood and you had nearly been a casualty when his ship arrived and his troops had slaughtered your homeland.

HeRe

Monster

Warning: Dark, monster/cryptid, blood, illusions to abuse, running away, attempt at suicide by monster. Questionable ending.

Summary: when the monster in the woods isn't as scary as the monster chasing you. Better to be eaten than go back, right?

HeRe

[johnkrrasinski]

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 3: chains around my demons

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 1,798

Summary: blessed with telepathic abilities since birth, you were captured by HYDRA and turned into one of their weapons to kill. after the blip, you were pardoned by the government and you were obliged to check up with dr. raynor everyday which you had no clue would lead you to the one soul you’d been waiting for.

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) angst, mentions of anxiety, nightmares, murders.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

The next day, you packed up your bags and were ready to leave. You were waiting on Sam to arrive at Wakanda with the quinjet so he could fly you and Bucky back to the compound. You were a little bummed about leaving Wakanda, it had been a therapeutic experience for you and Bucky to be here. The thought of living the domestic life, in a beautiful place like Wakanda that is far away from the bustling city of New York was enticing. Sometimes you’d look at Bucky just walking around in his shirt and sweatpants doing the most mundane things instead of getting prepared for another mission and you’d think “I could get used to this.”

You thanked T’Challa, Shuri, Queen Ramonda and the Dola Milaje for everything they had done before you bid your farewell. You promised to stay in contact with Shuri and the Dora Milaje but it was still hard to leave them, they were truly the best people you had ever met. They reminded you of everything HYDRA was not. You could see why Bucky always spoke so highly of them.

Later that night, you had the compound all to yourself. Tony was having a date night with Pepper, Natasha was on a mission to Hungary, Sam was visiting his sister in Louisiana and Rhodey was dealing with some air force matters. As much as you loved the Avengers, you were grateful for this moment alone with Bucky.

The dimmed lights in the kitchen where you and Bucky just had dinner gave him an idea, “doll, get up…”

She did as he told even though she had no clue what he was planning, “for what, Bucky?”

He didn’t answer her but rather, he commanded FRIDAY to play a song called Put Your Heart on My Shoulder by Paul Anka. “Let’s dance, doll.”

He put his flesh hand on your waist and took your left hand with his vibranium arm, “I haven’t danced in ages, Buck.”

“Me neither, doll, but we’ll learn from each other,” he smiled affectionately at you.

It started off slow and you kept your eyes on each other, saying things that words can’t illustrate. It’s love, the realization of how fortunate you both were to have found each other. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” you uttered softly as you fiddled with his dog tags.

“Me too, doll. But we got each other now, I won’t let anything keep me away from you for too long.”

There was a brief silence. “Do you remember the last time you danced like this?”

“1945, Stark Expo, before I was shipped out to England. Her name was Connie and I took Steve with me because I wanted to spend it with him on my last night. I set him up with Connie’s friend but the punk just left to try to enlist in the army.”

Steve. You’d heard about him from Natasha and Tony. No one outside of the Avengers really knew where he was but you knew that he went back in time. That’s all you knew about it. You had also learned about his and Bucky’s friendship and how they really went all the way back. You were often curious about his ‘disappearance’ however you didn’t wanna pry or made Bucky feel worse. Losing a friend was always hard, let alone someone who was his only connection to his past, the life that he knew before he was forced to live out those violent years. You’d heard from Sam about how Steve was the only reason why Bucky stayed alive and how he had thought about committing suicide before. Now that he was gone, Sam often feared that Bucky would snap and give in to it but he always tried to be there for him. You were just glad that Bucky had Sam even before you were around.

“Do you… miss Steve?” you hesitantly asked as you rested your head on his chest.

“All the time,” He confessed. You were a tad relieved that Bucky wanted to open up about him to you. “He was the only family I got left, and when he went back, I felt empty. I was just lucky that Sam didn’t give up on me… And that, I met you.”

You smiled, you lifted your head to look at him. “You’re never gonna lose me. Not again,” you touched his face and he kissed you. It was soft, nothing like the kiss on your last night in Wakanda, but you could feel him pouring all the emotions and gratitude he had for you and you did just the same.

He lifted you as you wrapped his legs around his waist, still maintaining that kiss. Bucky carried you onto the dining table where you just had your dinner and he laid you there as he trailed to your throat and all the way down to your body which was now half-exposed after he lifted the hem of your shirt up until your breasts were revealed.

You weren’t wearing any bra so it was easier for him to access your nipples, he sucked on the right one as his flesh hand made its way down to your pants, unbuttoning it, and he inserted his fingers to find your clit, rubbing it in circles, making you even wetter every second. You shut your eyes, letting him have his way with your body.

His fingers and his tongue worked so magically that within seconds, he had you close to orgasm. “Bucky, so close…” You could feel his smirk against your nipple and he rubbed you faster. You moaned his name as you released all over his digits, soaking them up and he lifted his head to look into your eyes as he sucked your juices all over his hand like a fucking ice cream.

“You taste like heaven, sweetheart.” The sight of Bucky staring intensely at you as he sucked on his fingers that were drenched by your cum was euphoric, like watching a live homemade porn video. Bucky took off his sweatpants and his shirt, discarding them on the floor. Seeing him shirtless never ceased to mesmerize you, his body was a work of art. He’d told you one night that it took him a while to accept the scars on his body, let alone the bionic arm that felt nothing like a human but you told him that you loved every inch of it and if you could, you’d worship it forever.

Bucky then lifted the shirt that was still rumpled on your chest, up to your wrists, where he used it as a makeshift knot, keeping your hands above your head, “stay there, understand?”

“Yes, sergeant.” You had no idea what sparked that nickname, but from the way he grinned, he sure loved it and if he loved it, then you were sure to use that in future steamy sessions.

“Sergeant, huh? You’re in big trouble, darling.” Bucky tore your damp panties and you gasped, not expecting him to be so aggressive… Not that you were complaining though. “Bucky…”

“Shh, let me take care of you, baby.” He kissed you ferociously, with his tongue completely dominating your mouth. Without any warning, his middle finger intruded your body… But it was an entirely different feeling from the last time he did that to you because he was using his vibranium arm and the sensation instantly took over your body, running in your veins like that serum in his blood.

“Oh God, Buck…” You whined as you looked down to where his finger was moving in and out of you at a slow pace.

“Does it feel good?” He asked as he kept looking at your face, searching for any signs of discomfort but with each motion, you only seemed to enjoy it.

“Yes, it feels fucking amazing… Don’t stop, please.”

He began to move his digits faster, and when your wails grew louder, he inserted another finger and you arched your back. “Fuck, oh God…” Bucky curled his fingers to brush your sweet spot, pushing you to the edge and you cum for the second time all over his vibranium hand.

“You’re so hot when you cum,” he whispered in a gravelly low voice that could weaken any woman in the knees. He pulled his fingers out of you and he used your juices to stroke his member to make it easier to slide into you.

Bucky lifted your legs onto his shoulders and he lined his cock to your entrance, slowly as he felt your walls fluttered around him. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” Bucky began moving, he was taking his time with your body, wanting to feel every inch of you and you of him, and you whimpered with every thrust. He felt so heavy between your hips that you could feel your orgasm approaching fast, even with the languid pace.

“I’m not gonna last long…” You said in between whimpers.

“I know, doll. Just let go when you’re ready, okay?” He began to speed up, his grunts and the sound of your skin slapping was obscene, making you nearly forget you were fucking in the place where the Avengers would feast (if they found out what you did on this table, Tony would hire a cleaning service company to scrub the entire surface thrice.)

The coil in your lower abdomen tightened and you knew you were seconds away from rupturing. A few more thrusts and you hit your peak. Bucky kept holding your hips tightly and he continued to pound into you, prolonging your orgasm as he chased his own climax. Your body trembled from the aftershocks but from the way Bucky was impaling you, you could feel a fourth orgasm coming and you didn’t know if you could take it anymore.

He felt you squeezing his cock once again and you both came together, pleasure washed over both of you. He shot his load inside you, painting your walls white. A few more shallow thrusts to blow every drop he had left within him. He stayed inside you as he hid his face between your neck and your shoulder, the warmth of his body on top of you was comforting despite the sweat all over your body.

Bucky lifted his head to look at you and sweep the strands of hair sticking on your forehead, “you okay?” he panted. You could only respond by nodding, not moving because of the weight of him still between your legs and how completely spent you were.

Once he had regained his composure, he retreated himself out of you and he carried you in bridal style to your room, wanting nothing else than to take care of you with a hot bath and forehead kisses under the duvet.

tags; @ohmickeyhenry @suitofvibraniumarmor @themaddies-obx @themaddies-obx @beminetokeep @bluemoon-icecream @bluemoon-icecream @harprs @thefridgeismybestie @abitofeverythingg @wolfonthemoonwatchestvshows @julimelodi @bookscoffeandotherstuff @tanyaherondale @artisancowbells @ferxaniti @intothesoul @hallecarey1 @buckybarnesplumwhore @thefallenbibliophilequote @andiyholly @emizla @capxwinter @jevans2 @alwaysreadingimagineschick @swtltlmrvlgrl @extremelyblackandwhite