#still if youre mad a kid is acting A Fool its the ADULTS job to make sure that kid is bding taught ahat they need to know

[timeisacephalopod]

I love my mom but sometimes, for lack of a better way to put it, she acts like an entitled boomer. It's already a peeve of mine when people bitch about kids and what they're bitching about is kids doing completely normal, expected shit for kids to do but my mom takes it a step further and implies my nieces doing normal kid idiocy is like a personal failing and ok. Look, my youngest niece is rammy as hell this kid is a bowling ball and she's here to win, but she's seven. I expect seven year olds to be Like That and be empty head no thoughts until they break something, that's normal. No sense in getting pissed off at a seven year old for acting exactly the way you'd expect them to, but the thing that extra pisses me off is that instead of just making peace with this and teaching any of my nieces where they went wrong and how to fix it my mom just kind of expects literal children to be able to just get some verbal feedback and figure it out?? Like come on now, I have 2 siblings surely she should know zero kids are equipped to get not very useful feedback and figure out how to apply it to everything??

My oldest niece gets it the worst and every time my mom says shit about personal responsibility I want to roll my eyes so hard they pack their bags and go on a vacation to Hawaii because my niece is 12 (almost 13)- if she's not taking 'personal responsibility' then someone didn't teach her how to or at least not in a way that stuck and worked for her. It's actually the adults personal responsibility to teach a child how to develop emotional maturity, not for a kid to be grated about all the damn time like any 12 year old is equiped to be The Most Emotionally Mature Ever. Problem being my mom is NOT good at taking feedback on parenting so if I say anything I gotta wrap it up nice and sweet and make sure it comes off almost more like offering advice rather than criticism, which irritates me because "if your so pissed off about this behavior why don't you do something about it and NO not the only thing you've been trying for years and complaining doesn't work because fucking obviously why do I have to explain this to someone who surely knows far more about parenting than I would" is a lot easier than my methods that aren't working any better than my mom's.

[stxleslyds]

Robin Jason, a friend and ally of the Titans.

PART 1.

Last Friday I was feeling extra rage-y after the news about the Titans mini with the Titans show line-up of heroes. I still think that a) Jason shouldn’t be considered a Titan or be in the team as Red Hood and b) that him going back to wearing a bat symbol on his chest is just bad but as @randomlut said there is a possibility of that book not being set in DC’s current universe and if that’s the case then okay, I will not complain about it anymore.

But this post isn’t about that Titans book it’s about Jason’s Robin’s appearances in volume two of the New Teen Titans!

Now, this won’t be an in-depth review of those issues from a story point of view, it will be a post in which I talk about Jason’s characterization and interactions with the Titans. Maybe I will even dive a little bit into why I think that the interactions that Jason and Roy have in those issues makes the relationship that they had in New52 very out of place.

Let’s begin!

·         NTT (1984) #19

Jason as Robin appears here only in the last page of the issue. After the current team of the Titans appears to be falling apart Donna calls Jason and others to help in a mission, this team that she puts together resembles the “original” line-up with Robin, Speedy, (Kid) Flash, Aqualad and Hawk.

·         NTT (1884) #20-21

Jason appears in the Titans tower along the OG Titans, when Donna finally tells them what the mission is all about (stopping Cheshire from interrupting a meeting) she asks if they are in on the job, Jason is not only excited about being there but about Batman actually letting him come all the way to the tower. A little bit of what Jason thinks or saw in Bruce is shown when Wally says that he “didn’t think the Batman could be thrilled by anything. He is always so grim.”

Basically, what Jason says is that the Bat isn’t that bad if you get to know him and that he cares about Jason’s education outside of vigilantism. Also, Jason seems to be grateful and very receptive of the things that Bruce taught him, he regards him as a very good mentor.

After everyone decides to help, they get on their jet. Here we have a very important interaction between Jason and Donna, she is telling him how she is feeling about the attitude of the rest of the team and about how she is a little bit lost now that she is in charge of the Titans and then she asks what Robin thinks about the whole thing, Jason is obviously thrilled once more, someone as experienced as Donna is asking him for his opinion? It blows his mind away! Batman never does that, he is always following his lead and never has a say on what they do so, to him, helping the Titans is only getting better and maybe he will ask the Bat to let him join them permanently.

Because they were talking Donna wasn’t paying much attention while flying and after they barely avoid crashing the jet, she apologizes to everyone and once more looks for reassurance with Jason, this time Jason is caught off guard but after Hawk teases him about his hesitation he tells her that “everything’s okay”.

When they arrive to Switzerland (where the meeting will be held) we have Jason’s first interaction with Roy Harper and him also slowly transforming into a burrito, that boy was cold and pissed off about it!

It’s really funny to me that Roy talking about Oliver’s pervy arrows is his very first interaction with Jason, who would have thought that a mad man would later make them besties?

They all go inside a building to get warm and for a while Jason is just chilling while the other Titans are all having an existential crisis, because here is the thing, Jason is a kid, he was presumably 14 here while all the other are in their twenties. Donna is having trouble with her new position as leader of the Titans, Wally is trying to live up to Barry, Garth is grieving his love, Roy is still very uncomfortable about being on a mission that involves Cheshire and Hank is just crazy. The others are trying to complete a mission while their real-life problems loom over them and Jason is just on an adventure with cool people.

Its not much later than Cheshire attacks the Titans, she first takes on Wally because he is her biggest threat and then detonates a bomb, now here I will give a little bit of context, Cheshire does not want to kill the Titans as of now, she just wants to incapacitate them because them being there is making her own mission more complicated, all I will say is that she doesn’t truly have villainous intentions and that she has a very weak spot for Roy.

Anyway, the bomb incapacitates Garth and Roy and Cheshire also managed to shoot Wally so only Donna, Hank and Jason are left standing to capture Cheshire, but here is the thing, Hank doesn’t want to capture her, he wants to kill her.

Jason has interacted very few times with Hank so far and it has always been Hank teasing him but now as Jason is going to fight Cheshire Hank interrupts him telling him that he will do “what has to be done”. Cheshire of course wont fall easily and I think that at this very moment she is thinking that killing Hank wouldn’t be a bad idea because he is going to mess her plans up! But not to worry as she is raising her gun Jason comes in to save his ass!

Jason is not a match for Cheshire and after that she quickly subdues him. But what’s important here is two things, first Jason doesn’t want or consider the idea of killing Jade, he just wants to capture her and bring her to justice, secondly, he doesn’t even want her to kill Hank, who has been violent towards every Titan and rude to Jason every single time that he has interacted with him. What I am trying to say is that this IS Robin Jason, he doesn’t think or act the same as Red Hood will in the future, he has his opinions on what punishments killers should get but he is not there to kill anyone himself.

There is this whole page where Donna beats Hank against a tree so he stops killing, because that’s not what the Titans do, she explains that if they do that then the public (that is already quite afraid of them) will just fear them more and they don’t need that, plus she believes that he is acting that way out of grief after losing his brother, as she is saying all of this though she is putting quite a lot of pressure on his chest and that might have ended up in her actually killing Hank if Jason hasn’t been there to stop her.

Donna is obviously not having a good time and after this she says that she “has had it” and that from now on Robin should “take command” because “its his group anyway”. Oh man…its clear to the reader that Donna is not having a good time being team leader but she also misses a certain person a lot. She is obviously not seeing Jason there, she is seeing Dick, the person that she is used to take orders from but he is not there.

Jason is aware of this, he might be a kid and might not have as many problems as the other Titans as of now but he is not a fool and he doesn’t want people to see someone else when they look at him, so he confronts Donna about what she just said/did.

Jason is just great in this scene; he just doesn’t want people that he admires to treat him as if he were someone that he isn’t. Just because Dick isn’t there doesn’t mean that he (because he is Robin) can replace him, they are not the same person and they do not have the same experience. He calls out Donna on her behaviour towards him and Donna being an adult takes responsibly for her actions and understands that ultimately, she was hurting Jason’s feelings. We have a kinda wholesome moment when they hug but because this is written by Marv Wolfman and he just can’t help himself, he proceeds to write Jason as a horny teenager. What a way to ruin the moment Marv…

Back to Cheshire, she is about to kick Wally’s face in when she decides to first tell him what he has to tell the others when they wake up, which is “Cheshire remembers”.

Wally tells the Titans Cheshire’s message but none of them truly understands what it means, Hank says that he doesn’t even understand why they are alive. Donna comes to the conclusion that Cheshire might want something from them and this is where Jason gives his thoughts, he says “Doesn’t matter what she wants. We take care of her. She’s a killer.”, its clear once more than although Jason (as Robin) wouldn’t kill anyone he does feel a certain type of way about criminals and wants them to be locked up.

After yet another verbal fight between Hank and Donna the Titans take a cable car to their next location, Jason is shown as exited about the view and the whole experience once more. When they arrive, they find Faraday (the guy that called Donna for help in #19) and he explains a bit more the situation but Jason once more is having trouble staying warm so he goes to the cable car tunnel nearby, but he doesn’t go alone, Roy goes with him because his “costume wasn’t made for this kind of weather either”, in this second interaction between these two we get to see Jason’s detective skills shine.

Jason has been watching Roy and he found his reaction to Cheshire’s message quite sus. Not only is he showing his detective skills here but he also said in a previous panel this: “The Batman keeps telling me to watch people’s eyes. And every so often I notice you become awfully agitated…like something was going on you didn’t want to be part of”.  Zdarsky, hey pal, I am talking to you, look at this dude! He read Roy like an open book, this is Robin Jason, he likes being Robin and he is brilliant at it, he is methodical because he learnt from paying attention and working with Batman, so, you sir are wrong, not only did UtRH disprove your dumb narrative but so does this interaction (along all his appearances in this book).

Roy is impressed by the kid, and yeah, he calls him kid because he is a kid…Roy is visibly older than Jason as he should, do you see it Lobdell? Yeah, there is no dubious age gap between those two as you made it seem. Roy is impressed because between both of them he is the one that is most experienced, not the other way around. How did Lobdell manage to make up a whole as run where not only were Roy and Jason close in age and besties but also Jason was better at vigilantism than Roy and Roy was the one being impressed. It’s wild, wild and bad.

Back to the issue, Jason taken out of the fight quite fast once more by Cheshire and she proceeds to talk to Roy, that’s where we find out that they were lovers and that she feels weak when she is around him because he makes her feel feelings but that’s not all, she tells Roy that he is “the man that fathered my child” …Oh and now she does want to kill him. That’s where #20 ends, so let’s see what happens with Jason in #21.

In the beginning of #21 Jason is conscious once more and when he hears Cheshire’s threat, he attacks her so she can’t shoot Roy, he also says this “Sorry ‘cat’ that’s a definite no-no. Don’t you know mommy’s and daddies should never fight” I, I don’t know why he had to say it like that…the 80s were weird. While Jason is being himself Roy is thinking “Don’t be cocky kid, Jade hasn’t got a sense of humour…” but because he wants to talk to Jade, he tells Jason to go, that he will handle Cheshire and he leaves.

Roy and Jade talk, Donna and Hawk are fighting bad guys and each other and at some point, Jason joins Garth and helps him take down a couple of guys, he also tries to make conversation with him but Garth is still not talking to anybody.

Cheshire tells Roy that he will never hear about their child again and that he needs to let her do her thing and stay out of it because he doesn’t understand what’s going on, Roy doesn’t do what she asks and she “poisons” him. Donna saves a guy that Hank was trying to kill. After Cheshire leaves Roy comes to the conclusion that she wasn’t there to kill the people from the meeting or that she poisoned him, but because they were there and everything went to shit now the people that were getting together are blaming the Titans for the interruption. The whole thing is a mess and the news channel are not nice about the Titans as a whole, but I am not interested in exploring that here. All you need to know is that the people that made Cheshire do what she did to the Titans were the Brother Blood people.

It’s on the jet that we see Jason again, he and the others are going back to the tower. Because the news are painting the Titans as bad when they are arriving to the tower Jason sees a lot of people protesting about them and he feels bad. This was his first job with the Titans and he is a kid, imagine how sad it would make you if you wanted to help and after getting the job done people were mad at you. But even though he is sad about that he takes time to ask Roy if he is okay after he sees him almost running away from the tower, he doesn’t get a response but he isn’t mad about it.

Jason’s stay with the Titans comes to and end and he says that he loved hanging out with them and is grateful for having been invited, he is so sweet!

·         NTT (1884) #24

Here, for some reason, we see Jason saying goodbye to the Titans again and unlike at the end of #21 Roy is there to see him leave.

I am not going to lie though; I liked this goodbye better it feels like it’s more complete than the other one. Here he says that Batman wants him back in Gotham but that if the Titans ever need him again all they need to do is call. He also mentions Nightwing which is funny because he will be called by Donna again in #26 to help the Titans get Dick back from Brother Bloods Church.

I am going to cut this part here because issues 26 to 31 have a lot of Jason content that I want to explore and I can’t put any more pictures here, also this post is already long as it is now!

I just love Jason’s little moments in these issues, him confronting Donna and reading Roy like and open book in #20 are my absolute favourite, I just think this is a nice way to kinda show how wrong some current characterizations of Robin Jason are and what better way to do that than reading and looking into some good stories.

Oh! Before I forget, in #21 Roy leaves the Titans’ tower to go see Jade and he actually gets to meet his daughter Lian for the first time, so yeah, that was a wholesome moment!

[mcheang]

Reflection

I am going to watch Mulan today!

Look at me

You may think you see

Who I really am

But you'll never know me

Everyone sees what they want to see. Marinette knows that better than everyone else around her. People see her and think great daughter, model class president, flawless hero, bully victim.

Every day

It's as if I play a part

Marinette hadn’t realized she was acting until she felt the weight on her shoulders for real. But it was true. Everyday, she swallowed down her protests and became the person everyone wanted to see.

Now I see

If I wear a mask

I can fool the world

But I cannot fool my heart

Who was she kidding? She hated being Caline’s model student! The class representative who had to tolerate Chloé and Lila, or face injustice.

She even had to forgive Chloé and Lila and hide her distaste of them as Ladybug, upholding the hero’s virtuous reputation. Inside, her heart was protesting how she still had to be perfect even while wearing a mask.

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me?

Seriously. On the outside, Marinette looks the same. But she knows one thing. That is not the real her.

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

Who is she? A girl with fire kept hidden in her heart, because no one else will accept it.

I am now

In a world where I

Have to hide my heart

And what I believe in

Alya won’t believe her about Lila. Adrien and Ms Bustier are all for the high road. And she can’t risk exposing secret identities to Chat.

But somehow

I will show the world

What's inside my heart

Enough is enough. Marinette had to express herself or she would go mad.

And be loved for who I am

If her friends couldn’t accept her for who she really is, then they aren’t her friends after all. She needs friends with whom she can be herself. And at least her parents will always be on her side.

Must I pretend that I'm

Someone else for all time?

Hell no. Being a hero was a necessity, but she would be damned if she continued a charade for her civilian self.

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

Right now

There's a heart that must be

Free to fly

That burns with a need to know

The reason why

Why must we all conceal

What we think, how we feel?

Like suppressing feelings will stop akumas from coming. Like feigning forgiveness actually helps Chloé mature. And please, Lila’s influence has only grown from Marinette’s silence, and she’s using it to make Marinette look bad.

Must there be a secret me

I'm forced to hide?

Ok, Ladybug is fine.

I won't pretend that I'm

Someone else for all time

The masks have to come off at some time.

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

Marinette let her hair down. It was a small change, but it was a symbol that she was finally taking no more shit.

That day at school, Marinette calmly told Adrien she was exposing Lila with or without his approval. Surprisingly, Adrien didn’t protest. But he did ask how she would do it.

Marinette went to Alya and said she had evidence that Lila was a liar. She called Jagged right then and there and asked for confirmation about Lila’s claims.

Jagged: what kind of Jagged fan would actually believe that garbage? Do I look like someone who would own a kitten? Even if I weren’t allergic to fur, I would have tried to get a tiger, not a tabby.

Marinette: thanks for clearing that up Jagged. Now Alya, I’ve shown my evidence. Where is yours that Lila is Ladybug’s best friend? You did ask Ladybug for verification right? Otherwise, even Mr Ramier could have that claim, given the number of times he’s treated the heroes to ice cream.

Alya paled.

Lila wailed. “Why are you being so mean?”

Marinette: because I have had enough about listening to you go on and on, making up disabilities that you never back up with an MC. And for crying out loud, Max, how can a napkin ball gouge out your eye?!

Max sank down in shame.

Ms Bustier arrived to see the commotion. “What’s going on here?”

Lila: Marinette is being mean to me!

Alya, coming out of her shock, rises to Marinette’s defense: no, she was just waking us up! You’ve never had any evidence to back your tales.

Caline: alright. Let’s try to calm things down now. Marinette, you should know better than to raise a ruckus.

Marinette: it’s better to have things settled here and now instead of letting things simmer. Like what would Mrs Rossi say if her own daughter was truant for months because you didn’t check in with her properly?

Caline: ...that’s...that’s enough, young lady! To the principal’s office.

Marinette shrugged. “Sure. I can also report on how you left all the adult duties of field trip organisations and charity fundraising to me.”

Caline paled, but Marinette was already out the door.

Marinette felt good for venting. And she certainly tore into the principal for never disciplining Chloé. What would the media make of that? She is babysitting Nadja’s daughter tomorrow night. Maybe she should bring up the fact that their principal was not at the school most of the time, but outside being The Owl. That would certainly grab the school board’s attention. Especially considering how he reconstructed the principal office without proper permission.

The principal paled at the threat and promised to see Chloé disciplined.

Marinette wasn’t going to wait. She wanted discipline now. “Is the Owl really a Chicken?”

Damocles: I...I...

Marinette left the office satisfied as Damocles agreed to summon Caline to his office. She passed her teacher with a smug smile on her face.

Everyone stayed silent in class when Marinette returned, careful about triggering another salty comment from her.

When Caline returned, she was shaky. She had been suspended for not doing her job as a teacher. Principal Damocles was all for using her as a scapegoat. Today would be her last day. And as Chloé would inevitably be a bully again in an hour or 2, the blonde would receive her first detention. She can call her father all she likes, but Marinette will be ready with a whole list of people, including Aurore, ready to bring Chloe’s bullying nature to the spotlight. Ladybug would be sure to look for a new bee hero then.

And the principal called Mrs Rossi who arrived to pick up her daughter who was now suspended and grounded.

Lila and Chloé shrieked at Marinette for interfering. But Marinette had been Ladybug for a long time now. She wasn’t going to back down.

Marinette: someone has to stand up to you, and remind you the world does not revolve around you.

And sure there was an akuma. But Marinette was prepared. Good thing her mother taught her self-defense. She knocked the akuma flat on its back, before snatching the akumatized object to give to Ladybug.

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

When Marinette got home, she still didn’t recognise her reflection. But she was getting there. Today had been about venting and finally setting wrongs to rights. In time, people will see that Marinette has become a lot more honest and proud and stubborn, but she is also less submissive.

Is that who she really is?

Who is the real Marinette?

Someone who feels comfortable in her own skin.

[tossawary]

Chapter 25: “Home Sweet Home” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” quotes and commentary. Not a full list of favorite quotes or full commentary. 

-

 Anyway, Shang Qinghua makes himself  so fucking sincerely annoying that the Huan Hua Palace Sect cultivators can’t figure out how to politely tell him to fuck off fast enough. Shang Qinghua makes outlandish assumptions about how many thieves there are (at least a dozen, he’s sure, probably twice that) and what methods they might be using (special invisibility talismans, he suspects); Shang Qinghua repeatedly apologizes for being too busy with important things for Cultivator O.B.B. at the last Immortal Alliance Conference, then tries to commiserate with the man about having to get important things done without getting any respect for it; Shang Qinghua also anxiously wonders if they should all go to Zhao Hua Temple Sect to report what happened here, since there’s a troublesome demon and also some sneaky rogue cultivator thieves on the loose out here! He gets turned down immediately, but assures everyone that he’ll at least let Yue Qingyuan know everything that happened here right away! 

 Liu Qingge pretty much just stands there scowling silently the entire time - he’s no Shen Qingqiu for sheer menacing  "I can and I will ruin your entire life"  glares, but he’s still pretty intimidating. He does a great job! No notes! 

 Shang Qinghua nearly pats himself on the back as he and Liu Qingge leave less than an hour after he arrives.  “Holy shit, I’m good,”  he thinks, a little giddy with the successful extraction.  “That’s a skill that good ol’ Liu-Shidi will never have!” 

 -

AN: Of course this has a high chance of backfiring. Is Shang Qinghua going to weave webs of lies anyway? Of course. 

Love the fact that Shang Qinghua can shamelessly act like a total pushover, while actually manipulating someone so that he gets the results he wanted. Some snobby sect leader walks into a negotiation room, prepared to use SQH as a doormat, and Shang Qinghua is probably internally like, “Bro, me and my jelly spine welcome you to hell.” 

- 

 He gives them the rundown on what happened, but, to his complete lack of surprise, that doesn’t seem to satisfy interrogators like his little sister-in-law and his fellow transmigrator. They have so many questions! And Shang Qinghua doesn’t have enough answers for them! 

 No, he doesn’t know what Huan Hua Palace Sect knows or thinks they know. No, he doesn’t know how they knew about that place. No, he doesn’t know whether the monster was just a local opportunist preying on distracted cultivators or something more sinister. No, he’s not experimenting with the creepy special item or discussing it at length here. No, Luo Fanli and Peerless Cucumber are not allowed to poke at the creepy special item! 

 Why the fuck would he ever let them do that?! 

 All Shang Qinghua knows is that Luo Fanli and Peerless Cucumber should eat their vegetables and then go to bed! Because they all have a long journey back to the sect in the morning! And also that words cannot describe how painfully old he feels as soon as he says this. 

-

AN: I’ve been thinking about a Demon Trio fanfic in which Mobei-Jun finds himself in a similar position with Luo Binghe and Sha Hualing. 

Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua are, like, bare minimum twice the age of Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan. Like, yes, neither Mobei-Jun nor Shang Qinghua are old old by the standard of the PIDW world. Yes, MBJ and SQH are stunted as all get out. But the fact that they have bare minimum 2x the life experience as Bingqiu is, in my opinion, funny as hell and severely underused in fanfiction. 

Like, imagine Mobei-Jun unintentionally dadding new demon LBH in SVSSS. Mobei-Jun being like, “Don’t eat the meat from this monster. It makes you hallucinate.” Or being like, “These people aren’t politically important enough to be shown this kind of respect. Look down on them properly and go sleep, or no one will ever respect you again in demon politics.” 

MBJ looking at SVSSS LBH and SHL like, “Damn, who raised you?” 

Because, like, I love to joke about Mobei-Jun being an oblivious fool, but that’s in regards to human culture. Mobei-Jun operating on demonic culture + his level of arrogance in regards to how he’s handling SQH suggests that MBJ can be politically savvy among demons when he wants to be. Also, the mental picture of MBJ being like, “Eat your weird demon vegetables, there’s nothing wrong with them, you picky half-breed brat,” is extremely funny. 

I’ll probably turn this into a separate post. 

- 

Shang Qinghua does  not  miss the man’s unconcealed  “oh, great, some of my favorite problem people are back, probably with bad news”  expression when they arrive. The man is not at all impressed to hear about the drugged-up Shadow Cave Wolf Spiders or the evil, murderous, madness-inducing plant they fought on their mission, but the Qian Cao Peak Lord is reluctantly, partially placated by the jar of three-eyed skeleton tears Shang Qinghua super thoughtfully brought back for his inspection. Mu Qingfang really likes his research projects! 

 Shang Qinghua lets himself feel kind of good about this gift - he’s the man who gets things and gets things done - and ignores the Weeper’s Eye whispering in his head,  “He has resigned himself to the untimely deaths of everyone he knows.” 

 (Wow. Oh, Shang Qinghua knows that feeling!) 

-

AN: Mu Qingfang doesn’t think that everyone around him is inevitably going to die, he’s just extremely aware of how dangerous the world is and how reckless cultivators can be. Also, for many years, he was fairly certain that Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu were headed for bad ends. 

This felt like a good place to insert some optimism back into the sect in general. Luo Fanli has been cured and is willingly going to visit her sister, Liu Qingge has got a hold on his self-destructive tendencies, Mu Qingfang thinks things are getting better, Shen Qingqiu’s health problems have been essentially fixed, Qijiu might actually work their shit out, Shen Yuan shares his real name with Shang Qinghua, and so on and so forth. 

It felt like a good contrast with and buildup towards Luo Binghe’s Skinner mistake (not everything is rosy yet, there are still growing problems), the secret basement, and the encounter with Bing-Ge. 

Only to flip that around and then bring some surprise Moshang into things! 

- 

“I have now been informed that, after learning that you had returned and, at the very least, completing the duties that were intended to have him reflect on his actions, he has disappeared yet again,” Shen Qingqiu continues. “This second disappearance has set some of the other junior disciples into a renewed panic, which has concerned some of the senior disciples, which was, apparently, cause to alert me.”   

 “Ah,” Shang Qinghua says. 

-

AN: Shen Jiu should not be in charge of a bunch of children, but it is funny to imagine him going through the same “be a less shit person” adoption process as Shang Qinghua. Like, oh, it would be so easy for him to be cruel about this situation, but fuck you if he’s going to be outdone in the recovery and redemption process by Shang Qinghua of all people. 

Shang Qinghua: *grows into a kind of decent person* 

Shen Jiu: “Fuck you. That’s not allowed.” 

Shen Jiu: “...” 

Shen Jiu: “Well, if THAT FUCKER of all people can do it...” 

- 

 Shang Qinghua doesn’t have to look long or far to find his nephew. He finds the young protagonist sitting despondently on the doorstep of his own Leisure House, sniffling into his sleeve. Peerless Cucumber of all people is sitting beside him and keeping him company. 

  “Focusing on other people’s lives is easier than looking at his own.” 

 “-think a drowning man first has to save himself… or else he’s only going to bring down the people he’s trying to save,” Peerless Cucumber is saying. 

 Binghe nods. 

- 

AN: Going by, like, the everything of SVSSS, Shen Yuan really is the asshole going, “I’ll die before I look inwards to recognize and deal with my own emotions.” Also, going, “Yes, I’m a hypocrite who won’t take my own advice. And what about it?” What a repressed nerd. 

- 

 Shang Qinghua clears his throat to get their attention. Both kids (well, teenager and young adult, but still...  kids)  look up and then stand up quickly. Luo Binghe takes a forgetful step forward, before he wobbles into an appropriate respectful bow instead. 

 “Shang-Shishu!” 

  “How dearly this boy is loved!”  the Weeper’s Eye declares, in its soft way inside Shang Qinghua’s head.  “More than life itself! More than death itself!” 

 “Ah, never mind all that,” Shang Qinghua says, and steps forward to wrap his nephew in a quick hug instead, keeping the creepy talking eye oriented away from his nephew. “You’re a little too late to talk to me about your mission before your shizun did.” 

 Binghe, who was just relaxing into the unexpected hug, freezes. 

 Shang Qinghua knowingly pats the poor young protagonist on the back.

  “Oh, shit” is right! 

- 

AN: Uncle Shang really is adorable. Still kind of knocks me for a loop writing it, though, given that the SVSSS SQH and LBH relationship is... nothing like this whatsoever. Look upon the field of SQH and LBH content and see that it is relatively barren except for the stubborn motherfuckers with excellent taste in character exploration. 

-

  “Ahhh, well, I’ll be there too for this potential family reunion, bro,” Shang Qinghua assures him. “Maybe we can finally get to the bottom of where this ‘Shen Yuan’ name came from.” 

 Peerless Cucumber makes a strange expression. 

 “What?” 

 “...It’s my name.” 

 “What?” Shang Qinghua repeats. 

 “It’s my name,” Peerless Cucumber says again, quietly. “It’s my real name.” 

 “Oh.” 

  “Huh,” Shang Qinghua thinks, having been operating on the assumption that the System made the name up for its mysterious backstory. Well, that gives new dimensions to Peerless Cucumber’s criticism of the scum villain! 

 “You can use it,” Peerless Cucumber says, with an air of determined nonchalance. “Everyone else is doing it.” 

 “Ah, alright. Thanks.” 

- 

AN: This is probably the part where I would have made Shang Qinghua reveal his original name in turn... IF HE HAD ONE. It drives me... kind of wild that we get the Airplane Extras and we STILL don’t get 1) Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky’s original name, and 2) MOBEI-JUN’s name. 

Which actually makes things a little more interesting here, in my opinion, even though not having those names gets a little frustrating in terms of fanfiction writing. With Mobei-Jun, you get to explore the fucked up possibilities of him not having a name outside of his identity as the future Northern King. With Shang Qinghua, you get to explore him being a squirrelly little fuck who refuses to let anyone into his life. 

So, because we don’t have Airplane’s name, we actually get this mildly interesting dynamic in which Shang Qinghua doesn’t even really think to reveal it to Shen Yuan. We don’t see this part, but Shen Yuan is actually a little miffed by this degree of secrecy, which is going to come up later. (Shen Yuan doesn’t like the fact that Shang Qinghua has as much power over him as he does.) 

I personally do not hold the headcanon that Airplane’s name was “Shang Qinghua”. It’s a little too on the nose for me. At that point, the only reaction to transmigrating into SQH kind of has to be, “Ah, well, I was asking for that!” Maybe Airplane projected his worst qualities onto Shang Qinghua, but I don’t think he went so far as to give the character his own name. 

Airplane’s main identity when he died appears to have been Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, and we know that he wasn’t particularly close to his divorced parents and any step- or half-siblings. So, the only names that are really relevant post-transmigration are “Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky” and “Shang Qinghua”. By the time that SY gets here, he’s firmly entrenched in those identities, and his original name is completely irrelevant. I could honestly believe that Airplane just doesn’t think it matters anymore. 

- 

 Shang Qinghua’s nephew, in the way of a true young protagonist or  fucking cannon fodder, got the bright fucking idea to slip away to speak with the concubine called Butterfly privately. 

 “I thought: what if she didn’t want to speak in front of that lecherous old man? What if she wanted to get away from him?” Binghe confesses. 

 “She was the demon,” Shang Qinghua guesses. 

 Binghe nods, voice breaking. “It was…  I was  really,  really stupid, Uncle.” 

 “Well, at least you know that,” Shang Qinghua sighs, and pats his sniffly nephew on the back again. 

 Oh, he can see why Shen Qingqiu was  pissed the fuck off now. Shang Qinghua kind of wants to start yelling! Or maybe just screaming, coherently or otherwise! 

 Except yelling isn’t going to help much right now. 

 Shang Qinghua listens as Luo Binghe recounts being captured by the demon and then waking up bound by Immortal Binding Cables - of being so terrified that he could barely breathe with it. His only hope was Ning Yingying and Ming Fan tattling on his disappearance and a senior disciple tracking him down on time. The skinner demon apparently nearly killed Binghe, crooning over his young and beautiful skin, except a flash of warm light intervened and dropped an unstable part of the ceiling in on them before they could hurt the captured protagonist. 

 “Fu-Shijie and Shizun arrived after that and k-killed it,” Binghe says. “Uncle, it was all  stupid luck!  Shizun said I should have been dead and that, between my efforts and the demon’s, he had no idea how I wasn't! And he was right! It was  so close! If the ceiling hadn’t fallen in like that-! Fu-Shijie suggested the ropes might be faulty and it could have been an unconscious use of spiritual energy, but I didn’t do anything! It wasn’t me!” 

 It  sounds like the System to Shang Qinghua, intervening again at a crucial moment to prevent the premature death of the protagonist. Just thinking about how close his nephew came to dying without him knowing is nearly enough to inspire a cold sweat! Shang Qinghua can’t speak about the System, so all he can really do is keep hugging! Keep holding on for dear life and saying soothing nothings to his crying nephew! 

- 

AN: I wanted to include the Skinner mission, but I didn’t want to redo it onscreen because that’s been done in many fanfictions before and I felt that there was really no good reason for Shang Qinghua to be a part of it. The reason I wanted to include it is to show how the plot is off the track of the SVSSS (and PIDW) stories, with the changed LBH and the changed Original SQQ. 

LBH wants to be a hero, but he’s not there yet. 

- 

 “...Don’t put yourself above him… or below him. Tell him what you want and listen to what he wants, and don’t be surprised if things don’t change all at once,” Shang Qinghua advises and, at Yue Qingyuan’s look, quickly raises his hands. “Ahhh, not my business, I know! Not my business! I just… I hope it works out! I hope you two get something better out of this mess! Aha, make the sect meetings a little less awkward and… things.” 

  “He has never known what better looks like. He will always be Yue Qi, the slave boy. No matter what he does.” 

 “...Thank you,” Yue Qingyuan says finally, thoughtfully. “I appreciate your… restraint in this matter… in recent months.” 

 Aha, yikes. 

-

AN: I know that some people wanted more stomping on Yue Qingyuan, but... like... this man is as or nearly as traumatized as Shen Qingqiu. His childhood fucking sucked. He broke his own soul trying to save Shen Jiu and failed. He made some shit decisions where Shen Qingqiu was concerned, but the logic and trauma he’s operating on are pretty obvious. He was trying. 

Part of the theme around the Qijiu and Moshang arcs has also been “an eye for an eye”. Like, are you guys really going to keep on not communicating with each other and then fucking up and then taking chunks out of each other? How many misunderstandings and upset over misunderstandings are you going to throw at each other? Where do you put your foot down and say, “I don’t want to live like this forever. We can be better than this. I want better than this.” 

Like, it can’t just be hurting each other back and forth (this applies to Qijiu more than Moshang, in which MBJ definitely carries the weight of this fuck-up). It can’t just be privately nursing hurt feelings forever. The options here are “fix it” or “live like this forever”. Fixing it won’t happen immediately, but the other option fucking sucks, so every little step helps. 

So Shang Qinghua here is just like, “Bro, I’m tired. My anger has cooled a lot. I just want all our lives to suck less. I hope things work out for you.” 

[bucky-iss-bae]

Reminiscences - Peter Hale x OFC (Part 2)

Hello againnnn - so I’m finally back, finally going to be active. 

My life has been a mess, I’ve not been motivated, and mentally I’ve gone through a lot the last 10 months, got thorugh University, Graduated, got a job, was a shit job, got another grad job during quarentine, and it’s been good and bad... 

Sorry for never posting and being bad at this, but I want to bounce back, so now its timmmeee. Also this Fic is actually completed. 

Want to post more, and just give you guys good content xoxo 

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Peter Hale x OFC (Calla)

Word Count: 2900 (Sorryyy, idk why it’s so long) 

Warnings: None - Slow Start I guess

Summary: Calla has grown up as Derek’s best friend, she’s known the Hales her whole life,she’s known their secrets and everything in Beacon Hills. Things in Beacon Hills are quiet, the pack are a family, and Calla realises that Peter knows more of her secrets than she realises.

A/N: Hope you all enjoy, any feedback is welcome x

Masterlist Fandom List

Peter Hale x OFC - Reminiscenes Part 1 

Part 2 

The days following that evening I completely ignored Peter. I saw him whenever he was lurking around Derek’s, I even went to the efforts of walking the complete opposite direction as him when I went grocery shopping. But if he remembers, everything every single thing I told him. Then I may as well die now. Especially since he’ll use that against me. This is Peter we’re on about.

“So you’ve apparently been ignoring Peter?” Derek asked once he settled onto my couch on Thursday.

I rolled my eyes, “And. There’s nothing wrong with that, he’s a psycho”

Derek huffed out a laugh, “There is when it makes him mopey. He comes around to mine in hope that you’re there you know”  

“Well, maybe he should stop trying to be such a stalker” I told his nephew. It was weird that there was such a large but short age difference between Peter and us. He wasn’t ever seen as the adult when we were younger, he had a boyish smirk, he had charm, and wit, and was so different compared to how he is now. He completely changed because of the fire, and the 5 years of solitude almost. He grew up, yet I didn’t see this change despite being the only person visiting him. I didn’t know he was the alpha yet I made a fool out of myself by being there for him, and he couldn’t even trust me.

“You sure it’s that?” Derek asked.

“Derek. If you’re here to talk about Peter then you can just leave. Actually no you can’t you don’t have an option, stop talking about Peter, tonight is about us. If you want I’ll send him a text saying hi later and then ignore him”

Derek shook his head a small smirk on his face. I felt a bit bad that I was taking Derek away from his boyfriend. But I needed my best friend sometimes as well.

“Good, now how are things with Stiles going?”

Derek huffed out a laugh, “They’re going well. Really well actually, never really thought that I would end up with him, but it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. And I sound like a soppy teenager. So let’s talk about your love life”

I snorted, “Right, what love life? Actually, I went on a date last week, it was a complete failure. I’m just glad that the girls who set me up with him don’t work in the same department as him”  

Derek started to laugh, “How comes I didn’t know about this?”

“Because I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t even... it wasn’t even a big deal for me. I wasn’t excited, I just wanted to get it over and done with, and the worst thing is when I was getting into my car at the end of the night he tried to kiss me. And Derek I still cringe, what happened was I turned my head so fast he kissed my hair. Completely missed the cheek”

This caused Derek to laugh, loudly, at me. “Wow Calla. Who would’ve thought huh?” He asked.

I rolled my eyes at him, “Shut up. It was a mess, so I rather not talk about that. Instead, I’m going to set up a tinder profile.”

Derek still had this amused smirk on his face, it was nice seeing him like this. For the first time in years, he was happy. His life was on track, sure there were constant threats to the town, but that happens, that’s part of the job description of being a werewolf, and with Derek being a complete shifter, it makes a difference.

But being with Stiles makes a difference, you can literally see the way that he looks at him, and I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time. He’s almost that young cocky guy he once was, but a more matured version who has a history to him. Who has so much more to himself than ever before, and I’m proud of him. Proud of everything he’s gone through and defeated. I know his mom, and sister would also be proud of him, whether he’s an alpha or not, he’s still so powerful, and has such a good heart.

“Let’s get started then” He grinned at me.

I rolled my eyes and rather than Pizza we ordered Chinese food, and rather than watching a film we created a tinder profile for me. It was terrible, Derek called in the big guns and Stiles was on Face time with us, which made it even worse for me. But I didn’t mind, I love stiles, and boy let me tell you he added spice to my basic profile. And obviously gave my pictures a yes or no.

“I’ve helped you guys this far, let me help with the swiping” Stiles said through the phone.

I scoffed at him, “Derek say bye to your man he’s helped enough”

Derek shook his head with a small smile on his face, “You heard the boss” He said to him.

“All that help, you better show me your matches or who you’ve spoken to over the next few days Calla. I’ll know if you don’t”

I laughed at him and Derek soon hung up, “Come on, let’s see who’s around then”

Both Derek and I started swipping through these guys, commenting to each other, and swiping left or right. Mainly left. Let’s be honest. Most of these guys either looked like guys who were balding too early in life, or others who were after a quick fuck. Despite everything I did manage to swipe right a few times.

“Please let’s stop now. Like, if you think I’m going actually going to find anyone through tinder its... not likely. It’s just a bit of fun, could lead to a quick lay”

“The same way Stiles and I getting together wasn’t likely”

I grinned at him “I should’ve called it. When you constantly wanted to get mad at him, way back when, and you just couldn’t. But that itself feels like years ago”

“Yeah, the same way my uncle spared your life?” Derek said back.

I glared at him and hit his arm, “I hate you, and I’m pretty sure your uncle is a sociopath”

“Yeah. Same but, let’s be real here. He has a soft spot for you Calla”

“Derek, I will stab you if you don’t shut up.”

“I would love to see you try”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “I will call Argent right now and get him to help me out”

He laughed, “Alright, I’ll shut up now. I’m sorry”

I nodded, “You better be sorry... Also why do you keep bringing up your uncle of all people to me?” I asked curiously.

Derek knows nothing of what I done whilst he was away, he knows nothing of the feelings I once harboured for Peter, maybe I still do which is why I’m so defensive, but no one needs to know this. But still, there’s got to be a reason behind Derek’s madness right now. Maybe Peter wormed his way into his head? It’s a possibility.

“You just said you wanted me to shut up”

I shrugged, “Just curious. Then you can shut up, and we can watch something”

He shook his head, “The way he acts around you I guess. He’s a prick towards everyone, including you don’t get me wrong, but he’s a different type of prick round you. And he cares about you, he gets protective, worries, cares”

I would be lying if I said that didn’t affect me, but it does. Although it means nothing.

“Derek, are you forgetting that I was basically raised around him. Wherever you were, he was, or the other way around. Like he’s been a constant figure in my life for a very long time. Sure he wasn’t mobile for a few of those years. But he was still in Beacon Hills. So maybe that’s why, maybe he has something that slightly resembles feelings from when he’s younger and he sees me as the kid that he used to teach basketball to, and just putting this out there I am amazing at basketball, which has got to be the meaning behind this madness, and this is because of him, and maybe a little you, but still”

“Really? We live in this town, and that’s what you call madness?” He asked.

“Yes Derek. That is madness, you’re forgetting I’m just a human girl who only just knows how to defend herself and I rather have that as my type of madness instead of anything else”

“How have you actually been?” He asked me giving me a serious look, “Like... you’ve literally been thrown into this world again, months after your parents passed away, and sure that was a couple of years ago, but you rarely see your younger brother because he’s working abroad, and the only other family you have is us. But most weekends we’re off fighting something supernatural, and you’re just at the loft, waiting.”

I shrugged, “I’m fine Derek. I’m happy... sure I miss my parents a lot and that set me back a lot. That made me want to constantly curl up into a ball and just cry. But having you back, having this normal-ish again. These last few months, I’ve gotten better. Ive also got my girls” I said with a smile, but he looked at me, waiting for me to elaborate causing me to sigh and twist my body completely towards him,

“Derek, I’m working an amazing Job, sure it doesn’t pay the best but I don’t need the money. I have money, instead I’m doing something I enjoy, and they’re easy shifts. I’ve always wanted to be an elementary teacher, but without the stress so a teaching assistant is the best thing. And I have Fridays off, and I do talk to my brother. Just not as often as I want because he’s doing so well for himself in London. And I have you Derek, I have my life long best friend. After everything we’ve been through we’re both here and we’re both happy. Sure my life could be further along than it currently is, but I’m finally in a good place”

He nodded at me, “Good” He whispered, “I’m happy to hear that”

“I hate you” I said shaking my head, but in reality he knows that I love him and he is my absolute best friend no matter how much I want to kill him.  

**

Apparently Lydia and Malia found it amusing that I now have an online dating profile. Everyone did, all aside from one person. That person I’m still avoiding but he still finds a way to worm his way into my life, especially since I’m currently sat with the girls, who are judging each and every guy whose photo I scroll through, and his face pops up.

Malia was laughing, seeing her father’s face on my phone, and Lydia finding it as amusing made me realise I need more friends other than Derek my age. Especially since Lydia decided on swiping right.

“Well, well, it’s a match” Lydia laughed, “But it makes me think, whats the maximum age you’re hitting here”

I rolled my eyes with a small scoff, trying to keep my heartbeat in place, “Well, if I wanted to talk to him. I would, yet I’m not, and you just swiped for me, that’s not fair, and guy my age are… I don’t know” I said to them.

“Well he clearly wants to talk to you” Lydia murmured.

I scoffed, “He wants to get under my skin. It’s what he does. Anyway don’t you girls have I don’t know other stuff to do?” I asked trying to change the subject.

“Nope, completely free tonight.” Lydia grinned.

I internally groaned but only seconds later was I literally saved by the bell, my phone started to ring, and Derek’s name popped up.

“Hello” I answered.

“Where are you?” He asked.

“I’m at Lydia’s place. With Lydia and Malia. Why?”

“No reason. Just, a few threats about, tell me when you’re going to leave to get home, and message me when you get there alright”

I rolled my eyes but had a small smile on my face, “Yes of course Derek. Do you know who or what it is?”

“Not sure yet. Probably isn’t something too dangerous. But whatever it is, they’re drawing other hunters to town. And now we have twice as much to look out for.”

“Stay safe then Derek. Does Chris know the hunters?”

“He’s looking into it”

I nodded, “Alright then. Just make sure you’re all safe and everything ok”

“Yeah always. Remember to message me when you get home” He then hung up and I looked at Lydia,

“What’s happened?” She asked me,

“Something else is out there, along with some hunters. And now I’m worried that these hunters will obviously know about our boys, and one thing will lead to another and someone might get hurt”

She had a worried expression on her face before looking at Malia who was on the phone to Scott, “We’ll figure it out. We always do”

I nodded, although I didn’t get involved as much considering I’m human with no special ability at all, and no badge, and well I’m not the smartest of the bunch. I just make sure everyone’s safe and worry about them all whilst making sure they eat and do their homework. That’s obviously the teacher side of me coming out there, no matter what ages I teach even if I am only a teaching assistant who works 4 days a week.  

“So Scott just said that Stiles and Chris are trying to find out who the hunters actually are, and that he Derek and Peter are going to find whatever’s out there. He told me to stay here...”

“You’re not are you?” Lydia asked.

Malia smirked and shook her head, “Nope. And I’m pretty sure you two won’t either, so who’s going to drop me off at Scott’s house?”

Both Lydia and I looked at each other before sighing and getting up, we got our stuff together, she called out to her mom telling her that we were going to Scott’s before we all left.

**

“What are you all doing here?” Scott asked once we walked in.

“You think we’re really going to let all the boys have the fun?” Malia asked her boyfriend, “And come on, I know those woods better than anything” She shrugged.

No one could deny that, both her and Chris were the best hunters here. As in being able to physically find something with the given clues.

“And I’m here to assist Stiles and Chris apparently” Lydia shrugged, everyone easily let that pass before all eyes were on me.

“I thought I told you to go home. It’s dangerous”

I shrugged, “I know. I really didn’t have any other choice” I said nodding my head towards Malia.

“Well you should just go home then. You’ll just be in the way otherwise” Peter snapped at me.

I rose my eyebrows at him, silently cursing Lydia for swiping right on his stupid face.

“I might just stay, make sure you don’t snake anyone out” I spat back to him.

“What and you think you’ll be able to stop me?”

“Peter won’t do anything, we’re not even sure what the problem is at the moment. So just go home Calla” Derek told me.

I felt a bit taken back at how blunt and rude he was at that, and considering no one decided on saying anything, I just grabbed my bag and left without a word. Because hey there’s nothing new there, being treated like I’m nothing despite seeing everyone as family. I would’ve expected a bit more considering they’ve got literal kids in there helping yet I can’t. Even if it is to make sure they’re all safe and not making stupid plans. I was there when Talia was alpha, I know how things work. Instead I just get embarrassed surrounded by my friends, and left to feel worthless because I’m of no help.

As soon as I got in my car, I knew that all I needed right now was a glass of wine, and some trash TV.

Which is exactly what I done when I got home, wine, some trash TV, and the comfort of my own apartment. And as petty as I may sound, I just hate feeling this way, and knowing that it’s something that constantly happens, I don’t see why I get involved in the first place. It’s the same old thing, I try and be there for everyone, they shut me out whenever shit goes down and I just keep running back. But no this isn’t going to keep happening because this week I will make the time and effort to go out with my girlfriends. I’ll dress up and have fun without worrying about anything else. Derek won’t be there to stop me, Peter won’t be there with his snarky remarks, and I won’t be surrounded by teenagers.

Which is exactly why I messaged my friends that I’m always talking to yet never have the time to see because I’m constantly with everyone else. We spoke for a little while before I asked when everyone was free for drinks, and guess what this girl is doing on Thursday after work. A night out, with my girls, and I can’t wait.  

Because I really felt in the mood to treat myself, I also planned on going shopping with one of the girls tomorrow after work. So no harm done there, I’ll buy myself a new outfit, some new makeup all ready for Thursday.

Peter Hale x OFC - Reminiscences Part 3 

[you-and-i-for-forever]

Plucking Petals (Lafayette x Reader) Part 1

Prompt: “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: I wasn’t really planning on writing any Hamilton/imagines but here we are...This is part 1 out of 2, but let me know if you want the second part!

You and Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette had been friends since you were in frilly, cloth diapers. You had grown up in the same commune in Chavaniac, France, due to both your fathers being apart of noble military lineage.

You spent almost every single day together: running around the buildings, riding horses, laying around the fountain in the middle of the estate, getting into more trouble than either of your families cared to admit.

You were thick as thieves and the best of friends. His father was a higher rank than yours so it was expected that you referred to Lafayette by his last name, but he allowed you to call him by his first name, Gilbert. You were the only one Lafayette felt comfortable talking to out of all the kids in the whole estate, most of them acting like the self-entitled brats they were with rich and powerful fathers.

It was strange for either of you to be apart from one another for an extended period of time, so when Lafayette started schooling with his tutor, you were quite lonely. You spend long hours walking in the estates shared gardens by yourself or learning from your mother how to sew; just waiting for the hour to strike six o’clock and Lafayette’s studies to be done with for the day.

“What’s wrong Y/N?” Lafayette asked after his very first month of schooling finished.

You were both sitting in the rose garden, your favorite spot, hidden away from your nannies. They had probably given up searching for you and gone inside to cool down on this warm spring day, hoping you would come out of hiding soon.

You had been sighing and picking the petals off roses all afternoon. You dropped the petal less rose you were holding before and looked down at him.

“I’m bored, Gilbert,” You sighed again

“Do you want to play A Game of Graces? Jou-Jou? Marelles?” He asked and sat up. He had been laying down at your feet, fallen petals collecting on his face.

“No…not so bored as much as…restless.” You corrected and wiped the built up pollen on your hands onto your dress.

“Why?” Lafayette stood up and sat down next to you on the stone bench.

You snapped another flower from its bush and trace its soft bloom.

“I want to go to school like you do.” You explained with another sigh.

Lafayette let out a snort and snickered, “But you’re a girl, you’re not allowed.”

You face flushed and your entire body stiffened. “I know that!” You said

“I don’t even think my tutor would allow you into the library!” He teased, seeing it get a rise out of you.

“That’s not funny!” You yelled at him.

“He’d probably tell you to go play with your dolls and leave reading to the men.” He laughed, holding his stomach.

“Just because I’m a girl doesn’t make me a fool!” You snapped at him and shoved him hard. He tumbled off the bench and you were glad to see the smile leave his face.

Lafayette scrambled to sit up, quickly realizing his offense to you.

“I may be a girl but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn everything you do. I’m tired of sitting around, waiting for you to finish your studies every day the day, I want to be learning with you.”

You abruptly stood up and threw the rose at his face, hoping its thorns would prick his skin. You huffed, gathered up your dress in a rather undignified manner, and marched away from him.

“Y/N!” He called but you ignored him as you ducked underneath bushes.

As soon as you escaped the jungle of plants, your nanny spotted you and rushed over, relieved you had finally reappeared. She scolded you on your messy appearance and ushered you back towards the house for supper. You glanced over your shoulder to the garden, spotting Lafayette watching you from under a rose bush. You turned your nose up at him and continued towards the house.

-

You didn’t talk to Lafayette for two whole days after he had mocked you for your desire to learn. Not speaking for two days in Y/N and Lafayette friendship time was like not speaking for 2 years. You avoided going near the building him family stayed in and the library he studied at. You sat and plucked flower petals at the edge of the rose garden, not sneaking into the hideout you and Lafayette shared. Your nanny fussed over how dirty you were getting from being outside, but you were too stubborn to get up and do anything else with your time.

It wasn’t until the third day that you and Lafayette finally spoke again. Your nanny was getting too unbearable to listen to so you finally snuck into your garden hiding spot. You lounged on the grass, watching bugs flutter by, and of course, ripping petal off roses.

Suddenly, a presence was looming over you. Before you had a chance to react an armful of heavy books dropped onto your lap.

“Ow!” You cried, thighs sore from the impact. You looked up, already knowing the only person it could be.

“What was that for!?” You demanded from Lafayette. You looked down at the books and your face redden with anger. “Come to gloat about your education. Make fun of me while you study?”

Lafayette dropped down next to you and pulled off his cap, sweat on his forehead. No doubt he was tired from caring the mountain of books from the library all the way to the gardens.

You shoved the books off your lap and began to smooth out your dress, acting aloof, but watching the books from the corner of your eye.

“You said you wanted to learn like I do right? Want to study with me? Well, I’m going to teach you everything I’ve learned so far.” Lafayette said and started pulling books out of the large pile.

“What do you want to learn first? Reading? Writing? Astronomy? Arithmetic?” Lafayette asked, summarizing the subject of the books he went through.

You turned towards him a little and raised your eyebrow.

“You’re going to teach me?”

He looked at you and raised an eyebrow, “Of course.”

If this was a trick he was trying to play, it was very mean spirited.

“Really?” You said, squinting at him and crossing your arms.

“Yes. You said you wanted an education, no teacher will tutor you, so I will.” He said a mixed expression of shyness and determination on his face.

Oh.

You face softened a little.

“Really?” You asked again, a smile slowly spread across your lips.

“Yes!” He said with a laugh, secretly worried you thought the whole idea was preposterous or you were still mad at him.

You flung your arms around him and held onto him with an iron grip, laughing. Lafayette laughed and hugged you back. You sat like that for a moment, heart racing in excitement at the prospect being taught like any boy would be. Not only that but learning from Lafayette, your best friend.

“Thank you, Gilbert.” You said once you each released each other.

“I am sorry for what I said before.” He looked down, fiddling with the front cover of a book.

You leaned in a placed a kiss on his cheek to let him know he was forgiven. A wide grin spread on both your faces.

“We need to get started Y/N!” Lafayette buzzed, patting the book cover. “You’re already a month behind me, you need to work hard if you’re going to catch up!”

You giggled as the two of you tried to decide which subject to start with.

Reading was first.

-

The years you and Lafayette shared at the estate were long and full of good memories. All the hours you spent learning from Lafayette in the rose garden, the games you played, the time you spent together.

A few months after Lafayette’s 13th birthday, he was commissioned an officer by the royal French military, and you knew things weren’t going to be the same anymore; you were both growing up.

Both of your fathers were in the military, all the men on the estate were military. You weren’t oblivious to the fact that one day all the boys in Chavaniac would grow up to become officers, it just seemed like the time had come so quickly.

Though Lafayette wasn’t called for active duty at the time of the war, the next few years were extremely hard for both of you to endure. Lafayette’s father was killed in action and his mother and grandmother as well as your own mother, all passed away due to an illness that overtook the estate in 1770. The illness had taken many people’s lives from the estate. Lafayette was left orphaned and you were left with only your father.

Lafayette inherited his parent’s fortune and residence so he was able to stay on the estate without fear of being sent away, not that any of the senior officers could bear to do that to the young man.

The next few years you spend together were blurred. Time didn’t have room to exist between the tears and pain you and Lafayette shared. You spent hours together in silence, hidden away from the world in a corner of an unoccupied library or against the rose garden. You shared a deep agony that only the other could understand or help to soothe.

It really wasn’t until you both turned 15 that you felt like all the pain you and Lafayette had endured was calming down. But you were both grown adults now and so you couldn’t go back to how things use to be. No more free evenings spent together, reading books to each other or talking for hours. Lafayette was the head of his house and given complete control now that he was old enough and had to take care of everything his parents use to run. You, however, were subjected to all womanly duties your mother used to carry out: instructing the maids, tending to your father, sowing, entertaining the few guests that would come by, sitting around all day not doing anything else.

You didn’t mind being a step in for your mother, it was an easy enough job taking care of the house while your father worked or was away. If you were lucky, you and Lafayette were still able to spend some time together, getting together whenever you could.

All seemed to be going as well as it could until the end of 1776.

-

Lafayette told you the news when you were taking a stroll together around the estate. He had sent a Page to request your company for that evening and he met you right outside your family’s residence.

You smiled when you opened the door and he beamed back at you. Lafayette had grown to be so stately and dapper, a prominent leader of the estate.

Somehow, your affections for him had grown ever more for him since you were children. He was very charming and attractive and it was very hard to not become completely enamored of him.

He turned and stuck his arm out for you. You wrapped your hand around it and set the rod of your opened parcel on your other shoulder. Lafayette began to lead you around the estate.

“You look very lovely today, Miss. Y/L/N.” He said.

You laughed, “As do you, Marquis de Lafayette.”

The affection and fondness you held for each other was palpable, grown more with age, though had never been spoken out loud.

You talked for a while and caught each other up on what was happening, which really wasn’t much.

“Y/N, I do have something to tell you,” Lafayette said as you stopped by the rose garden.

You were plucking petals from a red rose and stopped when you heard the thickness of his voice.

“Yes?” You said, frozen in place, not knowing what to expect.

“I’m-I’m leaving.” He said in a soft voice.

Fear ripped through your body. Your corset, which up until now felt was merely uncomfortable, felt like it was crushing your lungs.

“America?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

It felt like every time you spoke to Lafayette, he brought up the colonies and of the revolution there. He couldn’t seem to take his mind off of it and had told you he wanted to go there to fight, you just never thought he would really go through with it. But you knew he wouldn’t stay at the estate forever, something would eventually pull him away, either by choice or force.

“Yes. My ship is leaving soon.” He explained

Your throat felt thick and your eyes started to water. You cleared your throat and asked, “How soon, Gilbert?”

“Morning.”

You sharply inhaled and spun around to face him.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why were you keeping this from me?” Tears prickling in your eyes and hands shaking.

“I didn’t want you to be sad in the days we had left together” Lafayette explained

“Oh.” You said as tears came pouring down your face and the flower you were holding dropped to the ground.

“Oh.” You said again, voice cracked and you covered your face with your hands.

Lafayette rushed forward wrapped his arms around you and you sobbed into his jacket.

“Don’t-don’t…please. We need you here. I need – I need you here.” You begged into his chest.

Lafayette just held you, not saying a word.

You looked up at him with blurred vision and Lafayette released one of his arms to pull a handkerchief out of his pocket. He wiped your eyes and cheeks so they were tear free, though fresh ones replaced those only seconds later.

“Come now Y/N,” He whispered into your hair after returning his arm to its previous position on your back.

You simply indignantly whimpered and held Lafayette closer.

“It won’t be that long. I’ll write to you every chance I get. And I’ll think of you always.” Lafayette reassured you.

You nodded slightly and looked up at him again.

“Don’t forget me.” You begged between sobs

“Oh my darling, I could never.” He breathed and kissed you gently on the lips.

“Gilbert…I-I…” You quietly gasped, knowing what you wanted to say but not how to say it.

“Sssssh. I know.” He whispered, wiping away your tears with his hand before leaning in to kiss you again.

This man, who held your heart was leaving with it in his pocket.

[fluffystring-blog]

collateral damage

Character(s): Reigen Arataka, Serizawa Katsuya

Characters mentioned: Kageyama Shigeo, Kageyama family, Takane Tsubomi, Hanazawa Teruki

Notes: Spoilers for the recent chapter (99.4) and mentions of other major arcs in the manga. Special thanks to my friend Eliot for being the beta reader to my fic!

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?”

The echo of brisk strides gliding along linoleum flooring barely nicked the worries crowding and scrambling about in the interior of Reigen’s mind as he sat stone-faced amid a line of empty chairs, chairs that seemed to await the restless souls of the living to gravitate toward their secure embrace. They flanked the long and narrow halls of the hospital in an almost human eagerness, as if expecting to bare the weight of grief and fear from weak-minded people at a moment’s notice.

The coffee placed in the vacant seat beside him had long since lost its warmth. In spite of his best efforts to drink the coffee he’d so humbly accepted to control the tremors taking hold of his hands, Reigen had failed to give the styrofoam cup so much as a single glance the second he’d placed it to the side. The minutes continued to tick by, but by the time memory of his coffee left on standby tantalized his tongue he realized with an air of disappointment that he’d left it untouched for far too long, and that the heavenly-scented stream of steam once dancing merrily to the ceiling above from within the cup’s sealed confinements was now but a distant memory.

Not that he’d have the stomach for it anyways.

A rather inappropriate amount of thudding against the floor drew Reigen’s attention upward. He’d nearly forgotten that Serizawa had tagged along with him until the air around him tingled with an odd sensation and the towering, wide figure of his slightly hunched coworker came into view.

He’d nearly forgotten Serizawa wasn’t highly acquainted with larger bulks of people yet either.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Reigen-san.”

The sound of crinkling alerted Reigen to the bags of chips gripped in Serizawa’s hands.

Reigen forced a smile, a smile not so unlike the one he used to fool people into believing his questionable business practice.

“It’s fine, really,” Reigen replied. “Wasn’t planning on going anywhere anyways.”

Reigen snapped a finger in the direction of the chips. “What kind did they have?”

As if having forgotten himself, Serizawa fumbled for the bags and settled when his gaze found the flavors of each, his shoulders sagging almost dejectedly. “Uh… sorry. They didn’t really have much except potato and shrimp. I wasn’t sure which one you liked, so I… kind of guessed.”

Neither option sounded particularly appetizing at the moment. Nevertheless, Reigen said, “Okay. Which bag do you want?”

“Oh!” Surprise flashed in Serizawa’s eyes. “Well, I don’t really have a favorite out of the two, so whatever’s fine by me. What about you?”

“Doesn’t really matter. I can settle for either.”

That didn’t seem to subdue Serizawa’s hesitance in the slightest.

Heavily, Reigen sighed. “Okay, okay. Guess I’ll pick first.”

Reigen hovered his hand close to the shrimp bag, watching closely from his sitting position as Serizawa’s face shifted visibly upon seeing his employer’s intended path. Feigning a contemplative hum, Reigen moved his hand toward the potato chips. Serizawa’s features relaxed.

Deciding to put an end to the (amusing) shirade, Reigen dragged the potato chips free from Serizawa’s hands before leaning back against the hospital chair. He proceeded to rip them open, leaving them exposed to the clean air swirling about.

Serizawa took up the empty seat next to him and proceeded to tear open his own bag with haste, digging into the strange-smelling contents as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks.

After what seemed like a year’s worth of silence, Serizawa stole a glimpse of Reigen’s untouched chips and the far off look in his employer’s eyes before swallowing down the remnants of shrimp-flavored chips scratching his tongue, clearing away stray crumbs from the corners of his lips with the back of his hand.

Leaning forward ever so slightly, Serizawa peered curiously at his employer and asked, “Is everything okay, Reigen-san?”

The mere question was enough to break down the wall of defenses Reigen had tried so hard to keep up, though he refused to admit to it as he gave a half-hearted chuckle and raced fingers through his bangs.

“I don’t know. Is everything okay, Serizawa? Is it? Because it sure as hell doesn’t seem that way.”

Thoughts of stumbling down the bustling streets with Serizawa in tow filled his mind. The thundering stride of their steps colliding and pounding and mercilessly stampeding across hard, gravel-covered cement in unison deafened his ears. It took every ounce of energy he had left in him from the laborious run not to recall the sights of buildings and cars and people whirling past him in a blur, the sounds of vehicles roaring down the street and people speaking amongst themselves or shouting above the noise, the taste of bitterly cold air against his tongue, the feeling of the early spring wind whipping across his face as sweat trickled down in a torrential downpour over his skin, as he sank further and further into the hole that should have dented his chair from the weight of it all.

He couldn’t believe what was happening until Mob’s contact lit up his phone, and the voice of someone he’d known only in passing answered instead of the quiet, monotone voice of the boy he’d known for what felt like ages.

“Kageyama-kun’s in trouble! He’s just been hit by a car!”

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” Reigen didn’t wait to hear Serizawa’s answer. “None of this would have happened if I’d just...“

When Reigen and Serizawa arrived, the Kageyamas had long since gone back to see their son before the doctor pulled them aside to fill them in on what had happened. A generic-looking girl came rushing in not too long after, asking to see Mob as soon as possible --could this have been the girl Mob was talking about?-- and with permission granted by the family, she managed to see her way through to the room without complication.

Reigen and Serizawa, on the other hand, were neither immediate family nor familiar to the Kageyamas enough to grant them access to Mob’s room. And so, with much reluctance and frustrated grumbling slithering between clenched teeth, Reigen decided to sit back and wait for the doctor to make an appearance, pulling Serizawa along for the ride, lest he be stuck by himself with no company to keep his anxiety at bay.

Only, the doctor hadn’t made a comeback for quite some time, and deep in the back of his mind Reigen began fearing the worst.

It was enough to drive him mad.

Reigen bit down on the inside of his cheek until the taste of copper coated his tongue. “What kind of dumbass hits a kid crossing the street...? What kind of dumbass gives the worst advice to a kid and lets him leave with just that?” He snorted, disgruntled, and dug dulled nails into the cuffs of his shirt. “I should have done something. Why the fuck didn’t I do anything?!”

“Reigen-san,” Serizawa said, holding Reigen’s arms tight as he tried to meet his gaze, “It isn’t your fault… You- you couldn’t have known what would happen. Nobody could!”

Reigen closed his eyes tight and turned away, blatantly refusing to look Serizawa in the face, refusing to succumb to the fact that he felt vulnerable and defenseless and completely and utterly useless in a situation he’d never asked to be part of.

“That’s easier to say when you haven’t known the kid as long as I have,” Reigen spat under his breath, feeling his every word stab into the pit of his stomach as he spoke. “You don’t know how many times I’ve let him down, how many times I’ve lied to him, how many times he’s still had confidence in me despite everything…

“You have no idea what kind of shit I’ve put him through, and how much of that shit he never deserved to deal with on his own when I’m the one who’s supposed to be the adult!”

For a moment, silence choked the halls surrounding them. A few stray passersby stared in puzzlement before quickly skittering away to allow them some privacy. Serizawa’s hands remained firmly placed around Reigen’s arms, only now they seemed to squeeze tighter as a sort of hard rigidness surfaced from the man lowering to kneel in front of him.

The tightness forced Reigen’s eyes to snap open, but before he could protest Serizawa started speaking, low and stern.

“You’re right. I don’t know what the two of you have gone through together. I don’t know the kinds of things you two have gone through on the job and after. I don’t know any of what happened before I came to work for you, but I do know one thing--

“-- it’s not your fault what happened to him today, and it’s never been your fault.”

“But--”

“You might be an adult compared to him, but you still think and act like a child! You made some mistakes, you did things you shouldn’t have done, you said some things you probably still regret, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.

“If there’s anything you’ve taught me so far, it’s that anyone can change if they really try! It’s not too late to be the kind of person you want to be! And if you think you’re still to blame for all this, then I might as well be to blame for it too, because I was there with you when he talked to us about the girl he liked and I told him he should go after her.”

“But…” Reigen had long since tuned out his brain to listen to his employee’s tirade, but never did he expect to hear something he might say to Mob from someone like Serizawa, especially not two days in a row. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why do you think you did?”

If Reigen could open his mouth, if he could think of anything to say back, he was sure that no words would leave his lips.

Had the doctor not suddenly appeared from behind closed doors, Reigen would have sat there in shock for eternity, gawking at Serizawa as if his coworker had sprouted a second head.

In an instant, Reigen motioned to the doctor making his way through the hall and shot to his feet, Serizawa following suit. Racing down the hallway unison, Reigen called out, “E- excuse me! Oi, you’re Mo-- Shigeo’s doctor, right? Kageyama Shigeo?”

The doctor came to an immediate halt, swiveling around on the heel of his shoe. His eyebrows furrowed, suspicious. Though he didn’t appear an unkindly man by any regard, Reigen still felt the air around them go tense upon catching sight of the doctor’s serious gaze.

“Yes?” the doctor replied. “Are you friends of Kageyama-san by any chance? Relatives?”

“Uh, well, we’re more… business acquaintances than anything,” Reigen hesitated, after a moment’s thought. “We came as soon as we heard about… what happened. I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

After a quick once over of either of their persons, the doctor smiled politely. “I’m afraid we’re still trying to figure that out ourselves. But, from the looks of it, he should be fine. He’s asleep right now, but we’re keeping an eye on him in case he wakes up so we can run further tests.”

“He’s… going to be fine?”

“Reigen-san?”

Silence.

“Alright then. Thanks for letting us know. We’ll be on our way.”

“Reigen-san?!”

“Then, if you’ll excuse me…” With that, the doctor vanished from sight, swallowed whole by a group of newcomers speed-walking frantically down the hall.

“Reigen-san? Are you okay?”

It had been an hour since they left the hospital, though Reigen hadn’t spoken since. It was enough to leave Serizawa feeling worried, all things considered; it wasn’t everyday Reigen wasn’t wildly flapping his hands around and prattling on about everything and nothing all at once.

A moment of silence.

Nothing.

He tried again. “Reigen-san--”

“You know, I think you’re hanging around me a little bit too much.”

“E-eh?” What’s that supposed to mean…?

Reigen stopped dead in his tracks, and without missing a beat threw an index finger in Serizawa’s line of sight, nearly jamming it straight up his nose if he hadn’t been startled to an immediate halt. “Reigen--”

“AH-TUT-TUT-TUT! LISTEN! Didn’t you hear it?!”

“Uh, h- hear what...?”

“THAT! You did it again!”

“EH?!”

“We seriously need to consider getting you some time off, Serizawa. You’re starting to sound like me by the day. Do you know how creepy that is?! In this world, there’s only to be one greatest psychic! The universe can’t possibly handle two of me!”

“What are you talking about?!” Serizawa nearly yelled, incredulously.

“OI! IT’S GETTING WORSE ALREADY! We’ve gotta do something about this, fast!”

If Serizawa wasn’t practically melting from the sweat pouring down his face and pooling underneath his armpits, he would have stammered out another quick remark before the inevitability of his cries would arise, never being truly heard. Swallowing thick, hard lumps of panic down his throat, Serizawa tightened his fists at his sides--

--and let out a cry at the hand that slammed good-naturedly against his back.

“I’m just kidding!” Reigen exclaimed, his body shaking from head to toe with unbridled laughter. “Well, kind of… Geez, you’ve really got to lighten up!”

Serizawa blinked rapidly, trying his hardest to process the events that had taken place, but failing to play catch up with everything that had happened. “...Then, why are you--”

“What? Can’t a boss thank his employee for going above and beyond to do something, even though he had about as much context to go on as his boss?”

“I’m not sure I follow, Reigen-san.”

Laughter gradually subsiding, Reigen released a puff of air before turning away, rubbing the back of his head in a rapidfire, awkward motion. “Geez, I really gotta be more straightforward with you and Mob, don’t I?” Reigen said, though judging by his tone Serizawa could tell he meant no real harm in the question. “I just-- I wanted to say thanks. For everything back there in the waiting room. You didn’t have to come with me, you didn’t have to say anything to assure me that it wasn’t my fault, but you did, and I guess I appreciate that.”

Serizawa suppressed a smile as Reigen continued their stroll back to the office, the sun hovering just over the horizon as the sky became doused in various hues of reds and oranges.

“So, about that, ‘kind of kidding’--”

“Oi, don’t make me change my mind about giving you a few days off!”