#still no idea why my brain keeps trying to slam Naruto into this idea

[rosebloodcat]

Ganon-Centric Story Idea

I have no idea whether this would be a game idea or a fanfic that someone could write someday, but I think the idea of some kind of Redemption story for Ganondorf could be really interesting to tackle.

I have had this idea in my brain for years, ever since I read a fic on FF dot net called “Cry for Hyrule”. I thought it was a really cool story, and did a good job of making Ganondorf a more nuanced character without handwaving the bad things he’d done in the past. Or trying to reframe the goddesses/spirits as evil, hateful beings who don’t actually care about the people they’re supposed to be helping/protecting.

(It also tackled some logic problems in the game it was mostly focused on, like Link being thrown in over his head so often. Or the trees the Koroks were planting to lower the waters always dying despite raising Hyrule being one of Ganondorf’s goals. This was a Wind Waker fic, btw)

I’ve always believed that people aren’t born evil, not even as the result of a curse. Which makes thinking about Ganondorf’s original motives and fall from grace really interesting for me.

He could have, at one time, had very good intentions and reasons for his actions. But then Demise’s Curse over Hyrule took those intentions and twisted them until they became unrecognizable.

Reincarnation exists in the Zelda-verse, even if it’s more of a Vishnu style incarnation/avatar situation rather than a full rebirth.

A reincarnation story built around Ganondorf himself could be really cool. And him working to redeem himself of his past actions could be a deeply moving game/story. With him trying to prove/separate himself from the actions of his past life and prove himself as a skilled/capable King of the Gerudo.

Or maybe the evil was scrubbed off from his soul enough to return him (at least partially) to the person he’d been before the curse Twisted him, and looking back at his past actions horrifies/disgusts him. I mean, he’s constantly being walloped with sacred and/or blessed weapons. The idea that, at some point, those could scrape off the evil to bring back the person he used to be seems possible. Or it being done intentionally as some kind of “weaken the bad guy by turning him back to before he got the evil power boost” type of plan.

And this change is enough that the Tri-force goddesses (or maybe even the mystery goddess the Gerudo worshipped back in OoT) are willing to give him a chance. A chance to prove himself. The chance to clean the rest of the evil away. The chance to prove he really is worthy of their blessing.

I think it would be a really cool story to read/play through. And it could be a great chance to expand Ganondorf’s personality and to explore more of the Gerudo’s culture.

I have to admit, the chance to play as Ganondorf in a jrpg type of game would be fascinating. (Maybe one of those ones with a settlement/kingdom builder thing too… For him trying to prove he really is a good leader/King.)

Or one of those branching storyline games, the sort with more than one ending that you get to by making different decisions in game. Good, Neutral, and Bad endings based on choices you make.

God, the more I talk about this, the more I want it…

(For fanfic, the idea of a story or a crossover where Ganondorf is trying to redeem himself by building a new settlement somewhere or trying to help a hero as part of his redemption could be really good.)

(I don’t know why my brain keeps chucking Naruto at me, but him accidentally kidnapping a little Naruto because of how much he looks like the brat who finally stopped/killed him and then raising/training him could be fun. Maybe the goal Ganon thinks he’s supposed to be fulfilling is finding a place to build a new Kingdom to make up for the one he annihilated/raised to the ground, but no. It’s raising this Prophecy child to do better than he would if left to his own devices.)

(Okay, I am done rambling about all this now. Please, someone either make/write this, or help me figure out enough to at least start writing it myself.)

[amindofstone]

Match up, No. 10

Anon said:

Hello! I would like the match up please I would like to have a Male character and here are stuff about me!

The thing I do mostly is like to care for others and help others, I mostly get tricked on very easily do to my kindness which will cause me to sometimes get very fiesty which not very but maybe like “ please just stop talking your being to loud.” In a annoyed tone, which is very rarely, I tend to like very many hobbies and I don’t judge people base on first glance I see what on the inside and not what on the outside, a weakness I have is my disability but I never allow it to stop me from my true goal in life! And I practically tend to like doing some boyish stuff like archery! I get a lot of compliments on my archery skill because a lot of people say I have the patients and the accuracy very good! My dislikes are I hate real cocky people who think there all good and don’t take stuff for granted I also hate people who look down on weak person as not a human but a animal. I hate peoples who take kindness for granted and use it for a selfish gain.

I stand at about 5’0 exact! I have long brown hair that gets a lot of attention because some people always say to me “ I die to have your hair:” I’m just a tiny bit chubby and have big blue ocean eye that gets a lot of compliments and a lot of people wanting it to. I very much get the attention for how smart I am and how kind I am! I also get some hate from boys when I prove them wrong that girls aren’t weak and I won’t back down from a fight if it means protecting myself, people or just anyone. I like to have some affection it doesn’t have to be a lot maybe just even a hand on the shoulder is fine! I also very do like to wear some baggy clothes and I do like wearing like summer dresses that are knee high. I also tend to get very excited from the smallest things. A lot of people think I’m a loner but when it comes to babies I’m all for them! My cousin even said “ she likes to be alone into babies comes in the picture and she all for them!” 💕I love children and my parents even told me “ your definitely going to be the house wife.” I don’t know if that a compliment or not but I’m taking it😂✌🏻 sorry if I shared so many!

a/n:

Hello there! How are you? I really enjoyed reading all those things about you. Believe it or not but the part in which you said that although you have a disability it is not holding you back to follow your dreams, was impressive. It truly made happy. I have two cousins that have a disability and get me sad every time I see them. But seeing them happy and keep doing whatever they want makes me always so damn happy. You seem to be such a sweet human. Someone bright and jolly. Please never ever change. You are such a strong and great human. Keep that attitude and make sure that even when you end up as a housewife don´t let anyone push you around or take you presence and work for granted. This world really needs more good humans like you. I am so happy you requested. When you mentioned housewife I instantly thought of Hinata (Narutos wife) and then thought about myself who is more of a mixture of Ino and Temari. That thought really made me laugh. LMAO!! Anyways I really hope you will like with what I came up with. If there is anything that bothers you or you don´t like, please tell me so I can change it. Other than that enjoy the little story I came up with. Happy reading!

Match up rules can be found HERE.

Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: @/SK,Martins (Can be seen in the pic) (found on the internet) !!!

· Well my dear anon. Like I mentioned before I think that you are a sweet and lovely human being. On top of that also simply adorable, fun and pure! Therefore I´d like to match you up with the future pirate king Monkey D. Luffy

· I think that you two would get along so well. So, SO WELL! Now hear me out!

· The way you two got to know each other might sound a bit of cliché but that’s simply how you meet. There was no princess in danger or a knight in a shinny armor but a clueless guy who wondered why a woman in a dress would walk around with arrows and a bow when they weren´t cupid. A simple human?! HA! Definitely not!

· Anyways that’s how everything started….

· The strawhats were docked on the island you were living in. At first they were anxious and didn´t want to leave their ship alone but when a worker at the harbor told them that the civilians on the island had cero problems with pirates as long as they didn´t do anything stupid or harm them. The whole crew got happy and started roaming around the island.

· Luffy being Luffy, screamed for food the moment his feet were on the island. And Zoro…. That guy yelled after him saying that if he gets to have food he wanted Sake. So, Luffy, Zoro and Ussop searched for a restaurant. Why Ussop you wonder? Well Nami send him with the boys because they otherwise would end up on the other side of the island. And Ussop compared to the captain and the first mate knew he had an actual brain and also knew how to use it.

· While the pirates were walking around the island you were helping out as a waitress in your uncles restaurant

· Everything went smooth. You served the people and had little chats with some of them. Some gave you too much tip and some other had you sitting with them and eat with them

· The people of the island knew you well. They knew you and loved you. Your uncle once even said that the only reason why his business was doing so well was because of you. The people never came for the food but rather for you. But you always denied it and told him that it was him and his food that was liked so much.

· Bu today there was something a bit different. A group of men you hated from the bottom of your heart came again. They were simply rude and egoistic. They were people from the wealthier part of the city, that was called royal neighbor. The reason why that neighborhood was called royal had nothing to do with the people that lived there. The only reason it was called royal was because it had a lot of wellness centers, hotels, casinos and parks. While this neighborhood, you were living in was given the name of idyll because of the beautiful nature. Landscapes that could have been painted and not to forget the dreamy beaches. But these group of young men simply didn´t understand that and thought of it differently. In a way that even the mayor couldn´t do anything else than just shook his head in embarrassment. But what could that poor man do. They weren´t doing anything against the law. They simply were annoying, stupid and egoistic.

· The group of young man, not older than 25, would always come once a week and have lunch in your uncles restaurant

· They entered the restaurant followed by three men you never saw on the island. At first you thought of them as sailors until you saw the green haired man carry three swords.

· You were in a dilemma. You didn´t knew if you should take care of the men that could have been pirates or the annoying group of disgusting men that always came. You gave your coworker a look and made sure he understood what you wanted. You were about to walk up to him and tell him to take care of the annoying group of men when you heard a plate breaking. You stopped in your tracks and instantly turned around.

· “This is our table. We always sit here. Now move you pathetic poor human.”, said Dean, the head of the group. You were mad. You were extremely mad and it took you so much energy and patience to not walk up to him and cut of his throat. But you calmed down and thought rationally. You took a deep breath and took your little notebook you used for writing down the guests orders when you heard a glass shatter right after Dean grabbed the customer at his collar and made him stand up. And this was exactly the moment you slammed you notebook and pen on the floor and yelled from the top of your lungs.

· “Watch out what you’re doing, you spoiled brat!”

· You stomped towards him and took a knife from a table on your way to him. “If you do not put him down in a bit and apologize, I swear to god I will make you regret waking up today and leaving your fucking bed!”, Dean knew you were no one to joke around with but his pride as a man kept pushing him. He chuckled and looked at you up and down while his friends that followed him like dogs laughed at your words.

· “Don´t make me start counting you pathetic version of a human.”, with furious eyes you looked up at Dean who still held the customer at his collar. “Look at that tiny girl trying to threaten…”, one of his friends was giving a comment but couldn´t finish his sentence because of you throwing the knife in your hand at him and cutting a bit of his ear and hair. You threw the knife with such a precise and strong grip that it ended up hitting the wall that was three meters behind him. “Watch out what you say because I don´t hesitate to drop the sweet girl attitude.”

· Dean looked at you with pure anger and let go of the man he was holding. He looked at his shocked friend and then back at you. “Today’s point goes to you. But the next time we come and this table is not free you will regret hurting him.”, said the angry man. “Listen here you little dumb spoiled creature. This table won´t be free for you. This is our table. Our property. You have no right to come and throw such a tantrum. And guess what, come again and I will be paying your parents a little visit and make them pay for everything you did. And I am sure that they won´t be pleased by your behavior since they are good friends with my parents and the mayor. Right? Now if I ever see you come here again I will make you pay. After today we will not accept your unacceptable behavior anymore. Now get the FCK OUT!!”

· After they left everything was silent for a few seconds but that change after your uncle started to clap and every person in the restaurant joined him. Your eye widened and your started to blush with a huge grin on your face. But that little moment of clapping didn´t last long. One of the pirates that entered the restaurant spoke up. “You did a good job but I AM HUNGRY!!!! Please FEED ME!”, you were confused. You didn´t know how to react and stood there like a statue.

· “Alright Sir. No worries. We will take your order in a few.”, said your uncle and approached you with a huge smile your notebook and pen. He pats your head with a proud smile. “You are such a brave and strong woman. I am so glad to have you in my family and I think it´s enough for today. Please take care of these men and then go rest: You deserve it.”, you nodded and smiled back to him. You pulled yourself together and made your way to the table of the pirates while your uncle left to take care of the broken glasses and the customer who had to deal with those stupid men.

· “Hello gentlemen. I apologize for making you wait I ….”, “No worries I actually enjoyed the show. You’ve got a good and precise eye. BUT NOW MY ORDER! Get me everything on the second site please.”, you absolutely didn´t knew how to react. You were looking at the talking man with a straw hat and then to his friends with big shook eyes. “I know what you thinking but he always eats that much and manages to stay alive. No worries. And getting to my order I´d like to have number 17 and 22 on the menu.”, said the one with a unusual long nose. “I take the same as him but with three bottles of your best sake.”

· You nodded with a disbelieving look on the face wondering if the first one is really going to eat all of the stuff. But you gave yourself a light slap and made your way to the kitchen only to be confronted with overwhelmed and surprised faces of the cooks. You shrugged with your shoulder and went to get the pirates drinks.

· While you went to get their drinks you saw that more people sat down next to the three pirates what made sense since the table they were sitting on was a huge one that usually only families took. Taking the drinks you served the three and greeted the new costumers. At the table sat a beautiful woman with black hair that complimented you for your adorable and genuine smile. With a blush you gave the others a menu too and took their orders

· Slowly with time passing all of their meals were served and you said your farewells and left the restaurant earlier then thought because your uncle said that he will take care of the rest. Thanking him you left and made your way to your archery lesson although it would have been way too early.

· Every time you came your sensei’s face would glow with pride. But the malicious person he is he would then drag you inside and introduce you to another challenge he came up with.

Time skip because ya author is lazy for the first time in a while now. *apologizes in trilingual

· It was late in the evening. You were on your way back home and thought why not take the route that would lead you to walk across the beach. You were having a good time alone. The sound of the waves that crashed on the cliffs and rocks were beautifully calming. The feeling of the sand under you feet were relaxing. With a smile upon your lips you were lost in your thoughts when the same guy with the straw hat you saw in the restaurant looked at you while blinking a few times before he asked you if you were Cupid the god of love like Sanji told him.

· With confusion taking over your mind you stopped in your tracks. Who on earth was he and that Sanji guy and why did he call me cupid? You wondered.

· And there you were looking at him with pure confusion while he looked at you with huge impressed and curious eyes for good 2 minutes until you shook your head and asked him who he and that Sanji were. He smiled at you and let himself fall down to sit cross- legged in front of you on the soft, warm sand. Now how do you think he introduced himself? Exactly my dear.

· “I am Monkey D. Luffy the future pirate King.”, “Huh?”, “And Sanji is one of my crew mates and the cook on my ship. Now tell me are you Cupid or not.”

· “Why would I be cupid?”, “Well you are wearing a pink white dress and you have a bow and arrows. So I thought that you might be on your way to shoot some people with them to make them fall in love. So, are you Cupid?”,

· “Alright first of all Cupid is a mythological creature made up by humans. He or she doesn´t exists. Secondly you really don´t look like a pirate nor do the others in your crew beside that one green haired man with the swords if he is also part of your crew. Thirdly you want to become the pirate king? Why?”

· And this my dear was how you two started a conversation that was to 50 % about him telling you stories of his adventures, 25 % basically about nonsense. And the other 25 % were… well that was about you telling him that you weren´t cupid but a actual human with the name f/n l/n. But he actually never got it. Until now.

· Eight years after your first encounter with the weird men called Monkey D. Luffy you still were busy telling him that you weren´t Cupid. But by now you not only had to tell him that but also your son who rather called you Cupid instead of mama.

· Congratulations you have two idiots in your life you love to the moon and back and would actually fight Garp for.

Bonus:

· “Does he really think that your Cupid or is that supposed to be something like a cute name?”, asked Dragon, the leader of the revolutionary army

· “I stopped thinking about that long ago, Sir. I really don´t know how to answer that. But just to make it clear if that confused you too. My name is y/n not Cupid.”, you told you father in Law with a sweet smile.

· “Wait. Cupid is not your name?! That brat introduced you to me as Monkey D. Cupid!”, Garp looked at you and Dragon with disbelieve.

· “If you ever wonder why you husband is so stupid just please now that, that stupidity comes from Garp. Not me. I swear.”

[makeste]

What are your favorite hero names?

oh man there are so many. I had to limit myself to a top twenty, and even that was rough. anyway so first off, a few runner ups because I couldn’t go without mentioning these:

Vlad King - to be clear, this isn’t actually one of my top hero names. but I’m mentioning it here because back when I was first reading the series, one of the fan scanlations -- either Fallen Angels or Mangastream, I forget which -- had originally translated his hero name as Brad King. which, to be frank, would have been one of the greatest hero names of ALL TIME. you can’t imagine my disappointment when I finally learned the truth. it still haunts me to this day.

Jack Mantis - this is Kamakiri (a.k.a. the guy from class 1-B who can grow knives out of his body)’s hero name. my question is, why the Jack. the mantis part, I get! that’s fairly obvious! but the “Jack” is forever a mystery to me. it just adds this little layer of intrigue.

Mr. Brave - this guy is one of the few good things to come from the Basement arc. don’t get me wrong, he is completely useless. but his name? absolutely legendary. this guy, with his power of ripping his own hair out and turning it into a sword (yes that’s his quirk), an ability that could be easily duplicated or bested by literally any jackass who just went out and bought their own damn sword, really thought to himself, “I am going to be the BEST MCFUCKING HERO THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. I AM GOING TO NAME MYSELF... MISTER BRAVE.” and they let him, you guys. they let him.

anyway so now for the top twenty!

20. Can’t Stop Twinkling - this isn’t a name so much as it is poetry in three words. I still cannot believe that Aoyama went up to Midnight with a hero name that sounds more like the world’s greatest Dear Abby letter, and she actually let him keep it. I’m not 100% clear on how this all works, but I like to think this means that Aoyama’s fellow heroes have an actual legal obligation to call him this in battle. I don’t think we as a fandom and as a people really take enough time out of our lives to stop and be grateful for Aoyama’s existence.

19. Uravity - it’s a pun!! it’s so cute and I love it!! and it’s such a perfect name in that it just instantly sums up and defines her whole brand, bringing to mind both Ochako the person and Zero Gravity the quirk. honestly she is one of only a few kids whose hero name I never space out on. with a lot of the others I usually have to pause for a sec and be like “wait, what was their name again?” but never Ochako.

18. Present Mic - this would make a really great band name honestly. I just like it. I’m pretty sure Horikoshi was going for “present” as in the verb meaning “to perform”, like in “presentation”, but to tell the truth I always pronounce it like “present” as in “gift” or “the present time”, which doesn’t make any sense at all, but IT’S JUST WHAT MY BRAIN DECIDED TO DO. anyway.

17. Tsukuyomi - I know this name has its origins in Japanese mythology, but to be completely honest I’ve always just associated it with Itachi’s infamous genjutsu attack from Naruto. I just think it’s the gothest thing ever and absolutely perfect for Tokoyami lol.

16. All Might - there’s just something about this name that kind of makes me just want to pump my fists and go “YEAH!!” I really like the use of “might” as a noun rather than “mighty” as an adjective like you see in so many classic superhero names. it’s just so much cooler somehow. this name really does conjure up the image of the strongest guy in the universe.

15. Midnight - honestly I’m almost mad that this wound up being a hero name, because it would have made a perfect villain name. it’s dark and mysterious and sexy. it’s no wonder why Midnight chose it lol. anyway so my girl is a bit kinky, nothing wrong with that, and it’s also a perfect name for someone whose quirk puts other people to sleep. it’s just such spot-on branding, I love it.

14. Ingenium - fun fact, I had no idea what this meant when I first came across it because I don’t speak Latin! apparently it means “genius” or “talent.” which is a very good meaning for a hero name! but honestly the real reason I love it so much is because it’s Iida’s tribute to his brother, and I am just such a sucker for that kind of shit. damn you Iida siblings. quit giving me all these feels.

13. Shouto – yes, seriously. I know a lot of people hate this name, and it’s always getting flak for being bland and uncreative. but I honestly think it’s a perfect name for Shouto. firstly because Shouto himself is very much the opposite of flashy in a lot of ways. he’s not particularly animated or attention-seeking; he is a very calm, sort of still-waters-run-deep person, and I think the lack of a snappy brand name fits that personality. I’m even more delighted that it hasn’t remotely curbed his popularity at all (at this point I think the only kid hero with more in-universe fans out there is Momo, and even then it’s probably a close thing), and I think a big part of that is that people are drawn to his unpretentious nature, especially in comparison to a lot of the other heroes out there. but most of all, I like the name because of the simple yet powerful way it serves as a declaration that he is his own person. he’s not his father, and he’s more than just a Todoroki. he is himself; he is Shouto. anyway so yeah, to me this is a fantastic name with so much depth and meaning.

12. Battle Fist - this is Kendou’s hero name AND IT’S PERFECT. like, holy shit. what should we call the girl who goes around punching bad guys around all day with her giant hands. how about BATTLE FIST. there really isn’t much more to say about this one, honestly. its greatness speaks for itself.

11. Vantablack - imagine being such an enormous douchebag that word of your douchey exploits made it all the way over to some guy in Japan who spends 95% of his waking hours writing a manga and has almost no free time. fun fact, although Anish Kapoor is the only one licensed to use the color Vantablack, the name Vantablack is still owned by Surrey NanoSystems (a.k.a. the guys who actually invented it), and so I’m pretty sure they’re the ones who decide whether or not someone else gets to use it. I wonder if Kapoor is pissed about his color being referenced in a popular shounen manga. anyways, all of that speculation aside, it really is the perfect name for someone with Kuroiro’s quirk.

10. Endeavor - look, say what you will about Endeavor the person (although I’m personally a big fan of the way his redemption arc is being done and think he’s a fascinating character, albeit a very flawed one), but there’s no denying that Endeavor is a badass name. but what’s really great about it is how it so perfectly captures the admirable part of Endeavor, the one thing about him that’s actually worth praising. he never gives up. he’s always pushing, striving, struggling forward no matter how hopeless it seems. and that’s a worthy trait, and it says something about him that this is what he chose for his hero name. a name that has nothing to do with fire, nothing to do with his quirk, nothing even to do with his goal of becoming #1. it’s simply a name that means to make an effort; to try and achieve something. and I like that.

9. Sugarman - this IMO is easily the most overlooked and severely underrated hero name in the series. it’s a hidden gem. everyone always forgets about Satou just because his power of being a Strong Punching Guy doesn’t particularly stand out in a manga chock full of strong punching guys. but he is a badass and a great character, and honestly “eating candy makes me super strong” is possibly the single greatest quirk in the history of time and I am jealous. anyway, so this is a really straightforward name, but it’s really smooth and catchy somehow and so it’s one of my favorites.

8. Gale Force - this is Inasa’s hero name! it’s another one which is criminally underrated, much like Inasa himself. airbender powers are just so badass you guys. wind is so badass. this name is all hurricaney and tempesty and super cool and powerful-sounding. this is one of those names that I’m honestly surprised wasn’t already a mainstream superhero name. Marvel was all “nah, we’ll just go with ‘Storm’”, like come on you guys where is the creativity.

7. Red Riot - this name is a fucking grand slam. it’s alliterative! it’s catchy! it’s got the word “riot” in it! it’s an absolutely perfect name for a passionate guy whose quirk lends itself towards good old fashioned brawlin’ and head bashing. the fact that it’s got additional meaning as a tribute towards Kiri’s own personal hero is just the icing on the cake. this is another name that Marvel probably legit wishes they had thought of first. it’s easily the best hero name out of everyone in class 1-A imo.

6. Sir Nighteye - hilariously for the longest time it was not confirmed whether or not Nighteye actually had a real name (he does! but I’ve forgotten it lol), and so there was this lingering question, absurd as it was, of whether or not Nighteye’s parents, whoever they are, were descendants of some proud Nighteye clan, and whether they had really, actually named their child “Sir.” anyways though, I love this name. it’s super cool and mysterious and perfect for someone with future-seeing powers, and the “Sir” just makes even awesomer because it implies that the Queen really liked him or something.

5. Mt. Lady - this name is a stroke of genius. supersize-me powers are a dime a dozen, but the characters always have names like Giant Man or Giganta or Goliath. as far as I know, no other superhero characters have ever thought to name themselves after mountains, let alone to name themselves as if they WERE a mountain. like, she isn’t “mountain lady”; she’s “MOUNT Lady”, as if she were an actual tectonic peak. it really bothers me that I can’t adequately describe in words why I love this so much. I just do!! I think she should get an award.

4. Suneater - Tamaki is out here proving to everyone that your hero name doesn’t need to have jack shit fuckall to do with your actual quirk in order to be completely badass and iconic. sometimes I wonder what Tamaki does when people ask him “out of curiosity, why did you pick that name?”, which someone surely must have done at some point. he probably turns beet red and tries to dissolve into the background. but anyway, the general public does not need to know the meaning of his hero name in order for it to have meaning; we know what the meaning is, and that it’s his way of saying “I believe in myself because my friend believes in me”, and honestly that’s all that matters. I am still of the opinion that certain other people whose childhood friends held a lot of unwavering belief in and admiration towards them could do worse than going down this same hero name route, but we will see! anyways Suneater deserves all your respect.

3. Best Jeanist - I had so much love for this name from the start, and then I found out it was a real, actual award. for people who make good jeans, or are good at wearing jeans, or something. it’s run by the Japan Jeans Council, which is also a real and actual thing. but anyway, despite it not being as wholly original of a name as I thought, it’s still iconic, and I love that he went with something that was recognizable while still fitting his quirk, and which has the added implication that he is the motherfucking best, because he is. also, given that he probably chose this name while he was still in school, and that only public figures generally seem to be eligible for the award, this implies that he chose the name Best Jeanist first, and then went on to win the actual award eight years running. presumably because the JJC got very flustered and were all, “IT’S LITERALLY HIS NAME... WE HAVE TO GIVE IT TO HIM... WE HAVE TO”, and so they did. anyway so that was a goddamn power move on his part.

2. Gang Orca - first of all, if you are an orca man, then naming yourself after orcas is a pretty apt thing to do and I have to respect that. but then along comes the “gang” part, out of absolutely NOWHERE, and it absolutely SMASHES. like, this name comes up to you and it slaps you in the face. GANG ORCA. HE’S A BIG AGGRESSIVE DOLPHIN MAN AND HE’S NOT HERE TO FUCK AROUND. IS HE ACTUALLY IN A GANG?? WE DON’T KNOW. BUT HERE HE IS, READY TO YEET YOUR DELINQUENTS AND HUNT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SEALS. this name fucks so hard it came within inches of the number one spot. he is a ruffian and a champ.

1. Eraserhead - last but not least, the guy who DIDN’T EVEN PICK HIS OWN NAME. his best friend had to do it for him, and out of love, came up with the SINGLE BEST HERO ALIAS IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND. first of all, this name sounds like a very funky and electronicy Thom Yorke song. second, it conjures up the image of a man with a big no. 2 pencil head, which could not possibly be further from the truth. it’s just so whiplashy in the best way possible. third, the very existence of this name is seriously a goddamn miracle. he could have been “Power-Stopping Man.” or “Sleeping Bag Man.” or “Scruffy Hero: Tired Man.” or just “Shouta”, but unlike Shouto there wouldn’t have been any actual meaning to it; it would have simply been a case of him not giving the slightest of fucks about coming up with a real name. but rather than any of these, thanks to the power of friendship we were blessed with the greatest hero name in recorded memory. this is one of the few kindnesses fate has ever bestowed upon Aizawa Shouta in his tragic, exhausting life, and I for one am eternally grateful.

anyway so that’s my list! sorry if I left out anyone’s favorites! but I think all of these are deserving of love. also if you want to see the single best thing Japan has ever come up with, please go visit best-jeans.com. they even have an instagram lulz.

[crystallized-shadow]

Chapters: 1 Part: 6 of Forces of Natura Rating: T Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara, Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Mito, Senju Itama/Uchiha Izuna/Uchiha Kagami Word Count: 2059 Summary: As winter draws to an end, Tobirama knows it's only a matter of time before Hashirama shows up.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

“You know Hashirama will search for me,” Tobirama mutters towards the end of his season, “and with his control I won’t be able to hide our magic any longer.”

“I knew they would find us sooner or later,” Madara yawns, cuddling closer to his winter’s side, while he was back to full power now winter had always made him sleepy, “thank you for hiding us this long.”

“Anything for you my summer,” Tobirama chuckles, lightly digging his fingers into Madara’s scalp and getting a rumbling purr from the older god. “How do you want to break the news to them?”

“In the most dramatic way possible, duh.”

Tobirama can’t help but chuckle, it would seem all this time still hadn’t improved Madara’ sense of humor. “And what, pray tell, did you have in mind?”

“Let them think I’m some abusive asshole and see who tries to kill me first?” Madara suggests, shifting in Tobirama’s arms so he can stare into the ruby red eyes of his eternal partner.

“What is it with you fire related gods and trying to kill each other?” Tobirama huffs, the barest hint of a smile ghosting his lips when Madara laughs; it was good to hear his summer sound so free after all he’d been through.

“Battle burns in our blood.”

“Shall we take bets on who strikes first?” Tobirama asks instead of trying to refute that claim, it would be futile and he already knew he’d agree to anything Madara asked. “Hashirama is my choice.”

“Most likely,” Madara agrees before a devious smirk graces his devastatingly handsome face, “unless of course he rallies all the gods, then it will be Izuna the moment he sees the mark on my neck.”

Tobirama has to admit Madara has a valid point, all of the humans who possessed the stolen fire magic had borne Madara’s symbol until he had reclaimed his powers. “You realize they’re going to be pissed once they find out the truth.”

“And?” Madara challenges with a raised eyebrow, “they’re going to be pissed either way, so let’s have some fun!”

“I’m going to regret this, but let's hear it.”

“I’ll just need you to act like a meek little snowflake, scared of my obviously superior magic-”

“I’m going to smother you with a pillow.”

“-and cower in my presence. Maybe bloody you up a bit too, really set the scene.”

“And what’s in it for me if I go along with this ridiculous idea of yours?”

“That should be obvious,” Madara scoffs, ignoring the eyeroll that comment gets, “you’ll get to fuck me in our den until you’re sated.”

Now that was quite the offer, the transition into spring always caused a violent spike in his libido that had Madara limping for the first month of the new season. To offer up his body, without leading Tobirama on a frustrating chase first, was too tempting to pass up. “How can I say no to that offer?”

“You can’t.”

~~~

Tobirama senses his brother approaching long before the spring god makes it to the mortal plane; he’s not surprised to feel the other gods with Hashirama either, obviously Mother Nature wanted to make his feelings known. Poking his lip, just to make sure the cut is still bleeding, Tobirama settles more comfortably against his restraints. Madara could claim whatever bullshit reason he wanted, Tobirama knew the summer god just wanted an excuse to chain him up.

“Tobirama!” Hashirama exclaims, bursting into the living room without much grace, making the winter god roll his eyes; Hashirama was going to get hurt one of these days if he kept doing that.

“What are you doing here!?” Tobirama hisses instead, making sure his eyes are wide with fear and his voice trembles just enough that the others will notice.

“We came to rescue you Tobi-nii!” Itama declares, frowning at his brother’s battered form; it was clear the winter god had been suffering and whatever human had dared do this would pay dearly.

“You have to go!” Tobirama shoots back, his eyes darting around like he’s looking for something, “hurry! Before he gets back!”

“Tobira…” Hashirama mutters, his heart breaking at the sight of his precious otouto so broken down.

“What’s all the racket pet?” A voice mutters from further in the house, and none of the gods miss the way Tobirama goes absolutely rigid in terror as a human walks through the door beside him.

“Nothing Master,” Tobirama mutters in a meek voice, biting the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing at the spike of anger in Hashirama’s magic; his anija was still too gullible. He can’t help but mentally roll his eyes at Madara’s outfit of choice, the yukata is draped just loosely enough that his ‘stolen’ mark is clearly visible. Predictably Izuna’s eyes hone in on it instantly.

“Where did you get that!?” He demands, stepping forward and the air around him shimmers, “answer me you bastard!!”

“This thing?” Madara asks, a careless gesture to the bright red sigil on the base of his neck, “it’s proof of my clan's blessing from some ancient god; supposedly my ancestor earned an elemental god’s favor.”

Why don’t you just bluntly declare you killed his brother? Tobirama thinks, ducking his head in apparent fear to hide the unimpressed look he knows is on his face. It was hardly a fair bet when Madara goaded Izuna like that. Sure enough, Izuna’s screech of unadulterated rage shatters the windows as he lunges for Madara.

Madara can’t help but laugh as he dodges the sloppy swipe of fiery claws; it would seem Izuna still let his rage get the better of him. The summer god makes sure to keep his moves within a human’s ability, finally allowing Izuna to grab him by the throat and slam him into the wall.

“You will pay for what your family did to my brother!” Izuna snarls, plunging a fire coated hand into Madara’s stomach so the bastard would die slowly.

Madara just chuckles as he calmly places his hand over Izuna’s core and pushes a hint of his magic into his brother. The effect is instant and Izuna drops to his knees with a startled cry, a hand clutching uselessly at his chest as his system filters out the incompatible magic. While Madara and Izuna drew their power from the sun, the greatest fire source, Madara's had always been more potent and potentially dangerous to Izuna if he did like he’d just done. “I see you haven’t changed Izuna.” Madara comments, smirking as the drought god glares up at him, only for his eyes to widen in shock.

“How do you know my name?” He demands in barely more than a whisper, shock washing away his anger.

Madara just chuckles as the sigil on his neck glows brightly, spreading out into very familiar runes as he lets his human facade fade away.

“Aniki!!” Izuna sobs, tears evaporating as quickly as they fall from his eyes. Madara’s usually hard eyes soften and Izuna can’t stop himself from lunging into his brother’s waiting arms. “You came back!!”

“Of course I did,” Madara scoffs, holding Izuna close as the younger god trembles in his arms, sobs still wracking through his body.

“Oh thank the sage,” Tobirama mutters, easily shattering his supposed bonds as he stands up, his injuries melting away.

“Tobira…?” Hashirama mutters, looking between the two gods, his brain struggling to process the sight of Madara alive and well. “I don’t understand…”

“Madara reincarnated,” Tobirama explains with a shrug, walking over to his brother in an effort not to invade Izuna's reunion with Madara. “I found him before it was time and forced the reawakening sooner.”

“I didn’t realize that was possible,” Mito states, watching Madara sharply as Hashirama yanks his brother into a hug, “but it does appear he’s completely back.”

“Madara?” Kagami mutters, finally venturing forward to his mentor’s side, “you’re back.”

“Of course I am Spitfire,” Madara chuckles, pulling Kagami into the hug as well, “did you really think I would stay away?”

“You died,” Kagami sobs, burying his face in Madara’s chest, “and everything changed!”

“I’m sorry little one,” Madara mutters, running his fingers through Kagami’s hair reassuringly, “I won’t do it again.”

“You better not,” Izuna huffs, clinging closer to his aniki, happy to have the older god back, “I’d have to hurt the snowflake if you did.”

“Be nice Izu,” Kagami scolds, his tone watery, “Tobirama has been training me.”

“Oh?” Madara hums with a raised eyebrow, looking over the young god’s head to meet Tobirama’s eyes.

“He couldn’t control his magic,” Tobirama shrugs, dislodging Hashirama, “and that desert you call a brother was useless, so I took over.”

“Why you-!” Izuna snarls, only to be cut off when Hashirama barrels into them, crushing all three fire gods to his chest.

“Madara!” Hashirama sobs, burying his face in Madara’s wispy hair, “I thought I’d never see you again!!”

“Let go of me you oaf,” Madara grunts, struggling to breath through a face-full of hair and flowers.

“No!” Hashirama protests, clinging harder as Izuna and Kagami manage to slip free of his grasp, “I’m never letting you out of my sight again!”

“Knock it off you plant-brained mother hen!” Madara growls, flaring his magic when vines suddenly start wrapping around him in response to Hashirama’s distress. The vines instantly catch fire, along with the ones in Hashirama’s hair, causing the Spring God to jump back with a yelp.

“Hashi-nii,” Itama sighs, quickly dousing his older brother with a downpour.

“Lets all just calm down,” Mito suggests, “as this is Hashirama’s equinox and I doubt any of us want to deal with that mess.”

Everyone shudders at the thought of what an overly emotional Hashirama could do with perfect control over his powers.

“So, Summer, Winter, care to explain?” Hashirama asks with a frown, not liking that his best friend and his brother have been keeping secrets from him.

“Like I said, Madara reincarnated and I forced the reawakening sooner than it should have happened.”

“You owe us more of an explanation than that Snowflake,” Izuna growls, glaring at the older god.

“Izuna,” Madara sighs, catching Tobirama’s hand in his before his eternal partner can try and attack the drought god. Madara shakes his head before he glances over the gods that had come to ‘rescue’ Tobirama. “The family I was born into, the Uchihas, were the ones that originally trapped me and stole my powers. On Tobirama’s solstice they tried to sacrifice me again, but he ended them.”

“How did you know some random human was Madara?” Kagami asks, knowing he wouldn’t have been able to recognize his shishou as a human.

“I’ve always been very attuned to Madara’s presence, when he came of age for a human, I sensed a spark of his original magic. Knowing it shouldn’t be possible for Madara to have reincarnated yet, I kept an eye on the human and when I found him trying to summon a familiar I made sure he summoned me instead.”

“You changed that sigil!?” Madara demands, glaring at his partner, “and when did you plan on telling me that!?”

“Hush,” Tobirama chuckles, kissing the irate summer god, before he looks at his brother, “you actually tried to kill him not so long ago.”

“I did?” Hashirama mutters, before his eyes widen slightly. He had thought that human looked familiar, but he only just now realized it was the one he’d tried to kill while searching for his brother. “But that was some time ago, why haven’t you two come home?”

“I had to wait for the winter solstice to reclaim my lost powers,” Madara says, glancing away from his oldest friend.

“I nearly lost Madara again,” Tobirama practically growls, “and I didn’t feel like sharing him with you yet.”

“I can see how such an event would drive you to isolate your mate to protect him,” Mito comments, knowing she would have reacted the same way if someone had killed her Spring.

“You just wanted to fuck with us,” Izuna guess, glaring at his brother when Madara smirks.

“It wouldn’t have been any fun to just show up.”

“You’re a bastard Shishou,” Kagami states and the sincerity of the comment makes everyone laugh.

“Let’s go home,” Hashirama says, dragging Madara and Tobirama with him before they can protest.

[bakubabes-tatakae]

(I think i just want him to use his brain cells and also explaining it to his S/O cuz i like how you write those) sasuke didnt entirely believe what Obito was telling him. It didnt matter that he claimed to know itachi so well. His mangekyo sharingan reacting to obito like that was enough to at least make him doubt the truth behind obitos words. (Idk where to help you take this)

I hope you like it. 😊❤

He Was Wrong || Sasuke x Reader

AO3 Link

Word Count: 1.5k

The door to the house that Sasuke and you shared slammed against the wall as it opened. You jumped from your place on the couch. You slowly grabbed one of the many kunai that Sasuke had hidden around the house and stood. There was no way that that was Sasuke, he would never have come in so abruptly. But your mind wandered as you thought about how long he had been gone...

You slid behind the wall that separated your living room from your kitchen where the front door stood. Slowly, you moved toward the edge of the wall, positioning yourself just in front of the mirror. The reflection showed the front door was shutting and as the door clicked shut the reflection of the raven-haired man shown. The kunai was returned to its place on the table and you moved quickly to the kitchen.

Sasuke was a mess. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Concern washed over you as you reached out for him. As his eyes met yours you saw nothing but the pain in them. “Sasuke, what happened?”

Sasuke waited a long time before finally speaking. “He’s gone Y/n.”

“Who Sasuke?”

You saw him cringe a little as he struggled to get the name out. “Itachi. I took care of him.”

The words that came from him sent a shiver down your spine. Sasuke had been talking about getting rid of his brother for so long, but you never thought that he would have the nerve to actually do it. Sasuke stepped forward, nearly falling into you. You wrapped him into your arms. “Sasuke, what the hell happened out there?” That’s when you saw the bandages under his shirt. “Sasuke...” You started to move the shirt from his shoulder and as you did you saw how far down the bandages went. They wrapped around his stomach as well. You repeated your question for him, the demand for an answer a little sharper this time. “What the hell happened out there?!”

He slowly leaned back and took the shirt from his torso, showing you everything. Cuts and bruises layered his skin, the worst of them covered up by the bandages that made you uneasy as you looked at them. “They’re from my fight with Itachi. I’m alright tho. A man took me in after my fight and bandaged me up. He told me that he only brought me in so that he could talk to me. But what he said to me made no sense.”

You took a deep breath. You had no idea what he had meant, but you were happy to listen. “What did he say Sasuke?”

“He was wrong. He had to be...”

“About what?”

Sasuke rambled on. “There’s no way, my whole life I’ve believed otherwise. It’s not true.”

“Sasuke Uchiha!” He snapped to attention as he heard his name. “What did he tell you?”

“The masked man claimed to be Madara Uchiha, but there’s no way it was him.” Sasuke was distraught. His words were so fast you could barely keep up. “He took off his mask to show me who he was, but as soon as he claims that my Mangekyo activated Amaterasu. The black flames coated him and everything. He claimed that it was Itachi’s doing. He said Itachi set a trap in my Sharingan so that when I saw his it would kill him.” 

“The man who claimed he was Madara said that if Itachi had known everything about him then the Amaterasu would have claimed his life. This man said that Itachi transferred his Amaterasu to me to protect me. Why would he do that?”

You took Sasuke’s hand into yours, holding onto it while the Uchiha shook. You could barely believe what you were hearing, you could only imagine the things going through Sasuke’s head right now. But you listened, letting him tell you everything before offering any words. 

“It’s impossible Y/n. He never wanted to protect me.” His grip on your hand grew so tight that it shot pain up your arm. You ignored it the best that you could. “He tried to kill me. He tried to steal my eyes. I fought back, I didn’t even want to hear it, but I was too weak from my fight. The man tied me up and forced me to listen.”

He looked up from the floor at you, his eyes pleading for some kind of reassurance. Reassurance that he had done the right thing. You placed a hand on his cheek and let it sit there, the touch seeming to calm his anxiety a little. “Itachi was my enemy, he killed my mother and father. He slaughtered our whole clan. This man tried to tell me that Itachi was ordered by the Hidden Leaf to kill us. Why would they do that? He didn’t even have any evidence to show me. Doesn’t that mean it can’t be true?”

The fight that was going on inside Sasuke’s head was a bad one. He wanted it to be true, he wanted to think that Itachi had done it all for him, but his brain told him that it was wrong. His brain told him that his heart was soft and that he needed to think about the facts. 

“This man told me Madara’s story. He said that the whole village outcast him. Said the ANBU were given strict orders to watch the Uchiha closely and that’s why we were located on the outskirts of the village. The Hidden Leaf supposedly had a spy without the ranks to watch us, he said that it was Itachi.” Sasuke shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. “Apparently my father was the mastermind behind it all. He said that Itachi was relaying messages to the village when the Uchiha thought it was the other way around. Why would Itachi betray the Uchiha?!”

Sasuke took your hand from his face and placed his hands on your waist, needing to feel you near him. He pulled you toward him some, wrapping you into his arms. “He said that if Itachi hadn’t killed the clan then a revolt would have happened. He said that the Village Hidden in the Mist and the Land of Fire would have both suffered. Itachi chooses to bear the burden of murdering his whole clan and become a criminal. He bore the weight of becoming a rogue ninja. All of it was part of his mission.”

As more and more came from Sasuke you found it harder and harder to keep quiet. You wanted to stop him. You wanted to tell him that everything was going to be alright. “The man said that the only mistake he made that night on his mission was not killing me. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. Itachi went to the Hokage and told him that if he didn’t protect me from Danzo and others than he would leak all the intelligence that he had on the Hidden Leaf. He begged the Hokage to make sure that I would never find out the truth. He said that from the moment he left the village he was determined to fight me, to train and be as strong as he could be.”

His voice rose as he backed away from you, heading toward the kitchen counter. He leaned against it as he watched the moon outside the window. “He was lying! He had to be! Itachi tried to kill me many times. He even used the Mangekyo Sharingan on me. There’s no question he was trying to kill me!”

“Itachi had always told me that it was Madara’s doing. He had always told me that he was the one that sent the Nine-Tails to destroy the village. Madara and Itachi worked together to put false charges against the Uchiha! They worked together to mess with our clan. The man claimed that Itachi fed me lies so that I wouldn't trust him if I ever met him. Itachi was a criminal that murdered our clan and became an Akatsuki!” 

“When Itachi came into the village after the death of the third Hokage he said that it was only to remind Danzo that he was still alive and still a threat. He said he wanted to make sure that he didn’t come after me. Everything he said was a lie Y/n!” He turned to face you again, tears staining his cheeks. “But he didn’t kill me...”

You stepped in front of him as you saw his knees giving out. Sasuke let himself slid down the counter, sitting on the floor in front of you. His emotions finally taking over him. “I don’t care how well that man claims to know Itachi. There’s no way he would have been able to do all that and fool me.”

You slowly sat next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He rested his head on your shoulder and you could feel the tears dripping onto your exposed skin. “Sasuke, I’m so sorry.” You didn’t know what else to say to him at the moment. You knew that he just needed time to process all of this. You placed your hand in his hair, slowly running your hands through it. “I love you Sasuke, just know that.”

Sasuke turned into you, burying himself into your chest, muffling his cries as he finally lost all control. The Uchiha shook in your arms and all you could do was hold him tight. Keep him safe. Never let him think that’s he’s alone... especially now.

Naruto Content Taglist 💕 @chidori-mint @praisingkuroosbedhead @korianrdr @excitedlysuffering @ari-hatake15

[redvoid-40]

Chapter 9 - First Phase

I know this fic isn’t as popular as my headcanons/one-shots but this chapter has been sitting in my Drive for a while now so I’ve decided to post it instead. =.=

Hope you all enjoy it! As always let me know your thoughts and if you have any requests! :)

Fanfic title: ??? Word count: 3097 Fandom: Naruto Pairing: eventual Gaara x OC, cannon pairings Genre: Friendship, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort Warnings: None

Previous chapter / Next chapter

No way. I thought the written exams would end with the Academy!

Shin was freaking out at the prospect of a written exam. Sure, she had gotten average scores when she graduated at the Academy, but it was mostly thanks to her Taijutsu. Her grades in written exams were nothing to be proud of.

“Don’t worry, Shin-chan.” Hajii reassured as they waited in line to get their numbers. He had his pinky wrapped around hers. “I’ll be able to carry us on this. Just do your best, all right? You too, Ao-nee.”

Aoni looked at her from her brother’s other side. “Hajii is a real nerd, Shin-chan. I’m sure his grades will make up for ours.”

“But what if they score our tests separately?” Shin asked.

“Then why would they demand that we take the Exams as teams of three?” Hajii pointed out. “At least in the beginning I believe they will only look at us as teams instead of individuals. It’s important to test teamwork, and it also makes it easier to cut down on the number of applicants.”

Shin hummed as she thought about Hajii’s words. It made sense.

“I guess you’re right.” She spoke as she pulled her seating number. “I’ll see you two later then. Let’s do our best and pass this!”

Aoni and Hajii nodded. “Good luck!”

---

There were actual tears streaking down Shin’s face as she looked down at her test in despair. Ibiki’s rules chanted in her mind like an anxiety-inducing mantra as a finger looped around strands of her hair.

“The teams will be qualified - or disqualified - in accordance to the total score achieved by its three members.”

“One more thing, if anyone in your team gets a zero, the whole team will be disqualified.”

Shin read and re-read the questions in her exams, not believing her eyes.

I can’t answer any of these questions. Am I really that dumb?

Shin couldn’t believe someone just out of the Academy like her could ever solve those questions. She might be nowhere near as brilliant as Sakura, but she wasn’t that unprepared either; she should be able to get at least a 5.0 from a written exam such as this. But not being able to answer any of the 10 questions was something else entirely.

Wait-

Once again Ibiki’s words came to the forefront of her brain.

“The censors here will also keep an eye on you if you try to cheat. And at every seen incident they will discount 2 points from your total score. If they catch you five times, you’ll be disqualified and your test will not be graded. That’s right. Anyone who gets caught cheating doesn’t deserve to be a Chūnin.”

Shin’s hand stopped moving around her hair as her eyes widened in realization.

Anyone who gets caught, he said… Of course. They want us to cheat.

Shin swallowed and looked around her. Many of the candidates were frozen like her, having noticed how impossible those questions were to answer. But others were writing furiously on their exams.

Some people here already realized it. 

“Excuse me!”

Shin startled, looking to the direction the voice had come from. Kankuro was a few rows in front of her, hand raised in the air and an apologetical smile on his face. 

“I need to use the toilet.”

Shin watched the older boy be escorted outside the classroom with his wrists in shackles. As he passed her by he glanced down at her test and, seeing it completely blank, scoffed at her.

She pouted at him, turning her face to the side to hide her blush.

As she did that, her eyes crossed with Hajii’s green ones. The boy was on the other side of the room, but on the same row as her. It seemed he had been staring for some time now and, when their eyes met, he gave her a winning smile.

Despite her sad situation, Shin smiled back at him.

Then she almost leaped out of her chair at the feeling of something creeping up her ankles. 

Shin’s hands flew to her mouth, pushing back the girlish squeal that threatened to escape her as the… thing continued climbing up her legs, leaving a trail of goosebumps on its wake. Swallowing hard, Shin dared to look down at herself and almost fainted at what she found.

Your Chakra Creatures are creepy, Hajii-chan.

There was a spider-like thing standing on Shin’s lap, with the black colour of clotted blood. The thing was almost as big as her fist and had four thin legs that connected to a small round black body, and on top of its body there was a human face smiling up at her.

“H-Hi?” Shin whispered, daring to reach down to it with an outstretched finger.

The creature straightened its legs, reaching up to her finger and nuzzling against it. Shin relaxed slightly, allowing a small smile to pull on the corners of her lips. So needy… there was no doubt it was one of Hajii’s creations.

It’s kind of cute.

Then, satisfied with the attention it received, the creature opened its smiling mouth at her and vomited a tiny scroll covered with blood onto her lap. 

Shin’s entire body tensed and she felt a bit of bile rise in her throat.

What the-

The creature gurgled happily at her and with one last nuzzle against her frozen finger disappeared in a puff. Unbelieving of what she had witnessed, Shin turned to face Hajii once again. His smile was as bright as before as he winked at her.

With a sigh, Shin swallowed the bile in her throat and opened the scroll beneath the table with one of her hands, trying to ignore the blood staining her fingertips.

Immediately she copied the answers from the scroll onto her test.

---

Soon enough it was time for Ibiki to give them the Tenth Question. And with it, came new rules.

“You can take the Tenth Question or not. But if you choose not to do it, all your other questions will be discarded and your team will be eliminated. If you choose to answer this question and get it wrong, not only you’ll be eliminated but you’ll also be prohibited from ever taking the Chūnin exams again!”

Predictably, there was an uproar in the classroom as some candidates protested the rules, while others stood up and left to try again next year. But Shin didn’t pay them any mind. Her sole focus was Naruto. The boy was sitting a few rows in front of her and she could easily spot his orange suit and head of blonde hair.

Naruto-chan… you’re shaking.

Shin clenched her fists in her lap in tension. She didn’t want Naruto to give up now, not after everything they went through. She knew that, just like her, he wasn’t good with written exams, but she also knew that from everyone in this room, he was the one who could overcome any obstacle put in his path.

When he raised his hand in the air, she jumped to her feet.

“Don’t!” Shin yelled, making everyone look to her. And when Naruto’s wide, baby blues found her brown ones she continued. “You didn’t come all the way here to give up now, Naruto! So please put that hand down!”

Naruto’s eyes widened even further at her outburst and Shin could feel her cheeks heating, but refused to sit back down.

To her surprise the boy smiled at her. “As if you needed to tell me that, Shin-chan.”

Turning back to face Ibiki, Naruto slammed his hand on the table.

“Don’t underestimate me! I don’t give up! If you want to be though, go ahead. You won’t make me chicken out. I don’t care if I’ll be a Genin for the rest of my life! I’ll still become Hokage one day! Believe it!”

Shin dropped back to her seat with a nervous laugh.

Of course.... You had to make a scene, Naruto-chan. Her eyes roamed the classroom again, and she couldn’t help but smile. You have no idea how infectious your words can be, huh? Everyone is looking up now. I bet no one is leaving after that.

There were a few more moments of tension as they all waited for the question. Then, to everyone’s surprise Ibiki’s next words were-

“You all pass!”

---

On the following morning all candidates met their new Censor, Mitarashi Anko, at the entrance of the place where Exam’s Second Phase would happen.

The Forest of Death.

—-

“Before we can begin the Second Phase I have something to hand out to you. It’s a consent letter.” Anko said. “You all need to read and sign this. Some of you might not return from this and I need your written consent that you’re willing to take the risk. Or else it would be my responsibility!”

Shin swallowed as Anko laughed out loud, as if she had just told some funny joke. This new Censor was kind of crazy, throwing kunais at Naruto and then laughing at the fact that some candidates might die in her exam.

“Here, Shin-chan.”

Shin thanked Naruto as she took the pile of forms from his hands, removing a single sheet of paper for herself before passing the rest along. 

“Now, let me explain how this will work.” Anko continued. “This is a survival exercise-”

---

Shin listened to Anko’s explanation carefully, hands closed tightly around her consent form.

“Shin-chan…”

The girl blinked, turning her attention to Naruto. He was looking at her with a weird expression on his face, as if he didn’t quite recognize her.

“Is there something wrong, Naruto-chan?”

“It’s just… you look excited about this whole thing, believe it. It’s weird because you’re usually so, you know… the peacemaker.”

Shin pondered Naruto’s words. More often than not she kept herself neutral in conflicts involving her friends, always trying to de-escalate the arguments and fights that would every so often break out among them. She wasn’t someone who’d usually jump at the chance of an all-out fight with dozens of Genins just to win a survival exercise.

However, this wasn’t a fight amongst her friends; it was a competition, and everyone taking part in it knew exactly what they were getting into. And there was something to be said about winning things: it was satisfying.

“I guess the Ninja life is growing on me, Naruto-chan. I’m looking forward to see what everyone here is capable of.” Shin explained, smiling at her friend as her eyes focused on him. “You especially. I can’t wait to see what you’ll come up with, Naruto. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m kinda hoping we’ll get to face one another soon. I know we’ve trained together countless times before, but it’s not the same as an actual battle, is it? You’ve grown so much, Naruto. I’m wondering how I compare.”

As Shin spoke she noticed Naruto wasn’t the only one staring at her with wide eyes. Sasuke and Sakura also had their gazes fixed on her, as did the rest of the Konoha Genins. 

Her friend’s surprise was short lived. In a blink of an eye, Naruto had laid his hand on her shoulder as a cocky smile stretched on his lips.

“Heh, I’m glad you feel that way, Shin-chan. Ever since you told us you’d take part with another team, I’ve been thinking we’d have to fight each other. And every time I think about it, I get all excited. I’ve always thought you were one of the strongest in our class, and I can’t wait to see how I compare. Believe it.”

Shin nodded, clasping Naruto back on the shoulder.

The challenge was made and accepted.

---

After handing in their consent forms and receiving their scroll, Team Rashu awaited  in front of gate 8. Shin was twirling her hair nervously as Hajii held onto her other hand and Aoni’s, moving their joined hands back and forth.

“You two are full of energy.” Aoni commented, smiling at them. “I’m glad you don’t seem scared about the whole thing, Hajii.”

“Why would I be?” Hajii asked.

“We will spend some nights in that forest. You hate the dark.”

The boy shrugged, but didn’t stop moving his hands. “I got you two with me. As long as I can hold on to you, I’m okay.”

As if to prove his point Hajii squeezed their hands one last time as the Jonin in front of them unlocked the lock of their gate. He let their hands go just as the lock fell to the ground and the Jonin pushed open the gates for them.

“Begin!”

Without hesitation, the trio charged inside the forest.

As soon as she stepped foot into the training grounds Shin joined her hands in front of her chest, her thumb and forefinger up in the air. Her eyes were closed as she focused on her chakra, but that didn’t slow her down.

She could feel exactly where she was going.

---

“This looks like a good place for our rendezvous.” Aoni stated.

Team Rashu stood together on top of a thick tree branch, the thick foliage around them providing for a flawless cover.

“Shin-chan-” Aoni continued. “-anything?”

Shin shook her head. “Not yet. There’ are a lot of powerful lives in this forest though, so it’s hard to differentiate the animals’ chakras from the other candidates’. I don’t think anyone is onto us yet, but I might’ve missed something. Also, if they’re following us from a distance, I don’t think I can feel their chakra until they get closer.”

“That’s all right. Finding them before they find us isn’t pivotal to our strategy.” Hajii commented, green eyes roaming their surroundings. “As long as we all keep on our toes we can react to any attack. The key to our strategy is how we’ll engage our enemies. You must take the first step, Shin-chan, and we’ll follow your lead.”

Shin nodded, full of determination. “I’ll be ready.”

“Good. For now, let’s keep moving together in a 2 kilometer radius from this point. If we get separated, we meet back here as soon as possible. If there’s anyone missing by sundown, we’ll go out in a search.”

Aoni and Shin nodded, and as one the trio leaped off their spot.

---

“It’s taking too long.” Aoni complained as the trio jumped from tree branch to tree branch. “It must’ve been a couple of hours already and nothing. The sun will set down soon.”

Hajii hummed but offered nothing else as a response. His sister had always been on the impatient side; never one to be kept waiting by anyone, so he had expected her frustration at this point. Thankfully, he and Shin were there to help her keep her temper in check.

“Maybe everyone’s busy with something else.” Shin offered. “There are many powerful creatures in this forest, as well as every other candidate.”

“Still… I was sure it all would happen much quicker. I want to finish this and get to the tower as soon as possible. No one deserves to spend more than a day without a hot shower.” Aoni said, nose upturned as the corners of her mouth pulled down in disgust.

Shin chuckled. “If you guys want, I can try to reach out with my chakra again. See if I can expand my sensory area and pinpoint something.”

“I think that’s a good idea. Hajii, let’s stop for a moment.”

The boy hummed again. He didn’t want to stop moving. Even being careful, it was likely they had left little marks of their presence as they roamed their searching area, so if they stopped now they could just become a sitting target for anyone following those little signals.

However, it could help ease some of his sister’s anxiety and Hajii knew first-hand she tented to make bad calls when her rage-o-meter was reaching its peak.

“Okay.”

The trio jumped to a higher tree branch and stopped. All of them were breathing hard, with a thin layer of sweat covering their skin as Shin performed her hand sign and closed her eyes, allowing her chakra to spread out into the surrounding forest.

Aoni and Hajii’s vibrant energies were the first she felt, warm and taut besides her, ready to react at a moment’s notice. She took a moment to appreciate it before letting her own energy seep deep into the tree’s chakra flowing steadily beneath her feet and branch out as wide as possible, trying to feel any creature that passed by, allowing her chakra to touch theirs for a moment before moving on.

Shin’s radius was barely half a kilometer wide, and it missed a lot - there was too much chakra around her for her to discern every living creature that crossed paths with her - but it still gave her a good perspective of what was surrounding them. Rabbits and squirrels, insects as large as her skull, a couple of gigantic snakes, poisonous flowers…

There were so many types of chakra around her… It was overwhelming, but also a bit intoxicating. 

More… I want to feel more, have more. So much chakra, all around me…

Shin inhaled sharply as those thoughts came to the forefront of her mind. It wasn’t the first time she thought of something like that. Ever since she learned how to control her chakra better, Shin found herself hungry for more of it, especially when training with Naruto.

His chakra is just so… plenty.

It was a mysterious train of thought, this one. Shin didn’t quite understand where it came from - she couldn’t just take others’ chakra for herself - and because of that it scared and intrigued her at the same time. Every time she tapped into someone - or something - else’s chakra, she dared to go further than before without even meaning to. It was instinctual for her and she worried sometime she might go a bit too far.

What would even happen if I did? I don’t want to hurt anyone, but… I’d love to feel more of this energy. It feels right. But is it?

Shin was pulled from her musings by a sudden burst of chakra just at the edge of her radius. It was violent, explosive… and going straight towards them.

“Get down!”

Shin grabbed the back of her teammates clothes and pushed them down to their stomachs just as a fireball flew over their heads.

Hajii glanced at the singed leaves above them and turned to smile at his sister.

“Well, Ao-nee. It’s happening.”

[britishassistant]

But I Like One Piece (10)

For someone who considers exerting effort on practically everything “troublesome”, Shikamaru doesn’t exactly do the things he does decide to put his energy into by halves.

Throughout the rest of the week, he and Sakura continually drill her on everyone’s families until she can recite their contributions to the village by heart.

Naruto and Lee become unwitting participants in this when Sakura enlists them to help with her recitation early on, and subsequently discovers that they barely have any more idea than her what all the fuss is about.

She now knows that there are apparently four “noble” clans of Konoha—the Akimichi (Chouji), the Aburame (Shino), the Hyuuga (Hinata) and the Uchiha (Uchiha).

These clans were some of the first to join the village, and became known as “noble” for their clout in battle and their contributions to stabilizing the village’s infrastructure. The Akimichi and Aburame handled food growth and distribution, the Hyuuga helped set up the hospital and health care, and the Uchiha were the police.

There used to be a fifth “noble” clan, the Senju. They founded the village and served as administrators, but their line died out around the time of the Third Ninja War.

Other clans, like the Inuzuka (Kiba), the Nara (Shikamaru), and the Yamanaka (Ino), while no less important today than those first five, came a little later once stability had been mostly established.

The Inuzuka serve as trackers with their ninken while the Nara are tacticians and help fill the administrative gap left by the Senju.

The Yamanaka are in charge of the Torture and Interrogation department.

She and Naruto freeze up when this fact is revealed.

“O-oh.” She stutters, trying to tamp down her instinct to lunge across the table and beg Ino for any scraps of information regarding Otou-sama’s health and whereabouts.

She’s trying to be good, like Okaa-sama and Jimichi-san suggested, but it’s getting harder and harder with each day that passes.

It starts with children pointing her out to their parents when they were collected from the Academy, the adults quickly hustling their offspring away when they realized she could see them staring.

Then shops begin refusing to let Okaa-sama buy anything, saying the ryō she had was clearly counterfeit, threatening to have her locked up too if she tried to make a fuss. They have enough food to last them the week between what they’ve got in the pantry and Uchiha’s donations, but not much longer beyond that.

The dead birds that are left on their doorstep, with sad eyes and plucked grey wings and crushed eggs beside them, are just upsetting. She gives them burials in the back garden before Okaa-sama or Naruto can see them.

Maybe that’s why Naruto can suck in a quick breath, and ask, “What happens to people in Interrogation? The innocent ones?”

Ino looks like she wants to laugh—but then her mouth twists, pensive.

“They get food and water, and a bed.” She says, softly. “Interrogation might need to keep them longer, if they’re really helpful with intel gathering, but they all go home sooner or later.”

Naruto slumps, breath rushing out of him, and gives Ino a dazed smile. “Right. Good to know.”

He bites into his soba noodles and she looks back down at her own lunch, pretending she doesn’t feel the same heady rush of relief.

She ignores the little voice in her head that keeps saying Ino only told him what happened to the ones they thought were innocent.

She walks home with Naruto and Lee, like they’ve been doing all week.

This way, after they wash up the lunchboxes, they can make tomorrow’s lunch right away together, and she doesn’t have to worry about forgetfulness distracting her during training again.

Okaa-sama usually comes home by the time they’ve assembled their lunchboxes and put them into the fridge for tomorrow.

So it’s worrying that that she still hasn’t arrived an hour past her usual return time.

Lee suggests that she practice using her bokken on them to pass the time, so they can practice dodging and she can practice her strikes.

She shuts that down quickly by asking if they can do strength training by kneading bread.

Naruto chooses a recipe for melon bread from her cookbook, because they have a can of pureed melon from Uchiha.

“Plus it’s weird.” He says. “It’s called ‘melon bread’, but it’s not melon flavored? There should be a better name for it, believe it.”

Lee tilts his head. “It looks a bit like Katsu-san’s shell, so maybe tortoise bread?”

“That’s a much better name.” She nods. “I think we might have food coloring somewhere—wanna make it look like them?”

They chatter as they knead and experiment with color combinations that won’t turn brown when mixed with the melon. The purple of Katsu-san’s shell may be an unattainable dream.

Naruto complains loudly about “that dumb yellow turtle,” who told him something “mean” about Interrogation that he refused to divulge, no matter how many bowls of ramen he was promised.

They all do their best to ignore the rising tension in the air as the hours tick on and Okaa-sama still hasn’t come back.

Then, just as the bread’s ready to come out of the oven, the front door slams open.

“WE HAVE RETURNED!!” Gai-sensei yells.

Naruto and Lee rush out of the kitchen ahead of her, babbling a million questions a minute.

It’s probably because she has to shove the latest batch of bread onto a cooling rack and pull off the oven mitts before following them that she catches sight of her mother while Naruto and Lee receive hugs from Gai-sensei.

Her kimono collar is torn and her hair has been half-ripped out of its work bun and there’s a large blue-black bruise blooming along her left cheekbone.

Her breathing feels too shallow and blood’s pounding in her ears.

But—how—why—

Okaa-sama catches sight of her and her eyes go soft and sad. “Do we have any frozen peas, sweetheart?”

She nods, numbly, and goes back into the kitchen to the freezer.

She jumps and nearly elbows Gai-sensei in the stomach when his hand comes down on her shoulder.

“Mayu-chan.” He kneels down in front of her, brows drawn down over his eyes. “Your mother is alright. Her youthful spirit flows strong even in the face of disapproval of those who should call her a comrade.”

Her mouth works silently. The peas make a cracking sound as her grip on the bag tightens.

“Did you catch them?” She asks finally.

His brow furrows and he shakes his head. “Unfortunately, the unyouthful thieves were able to evade our search. Even my cool and hip rival and the most youthful Inuzuka Tsume were unable to track them. But they will be found and brought to justice, have faith in that.”

She swallows to making her voice sound less like a croak. “And then Otou-sama will come home again, right?”

Gai-sensei nods authoritatively, flashing her a thumbs up. “Of course!”

She thinks that she can maybe hold out a little while longer. She needs to be better, so they don’t hurt Okaa-sama, but that shouldn’t be too hard.

She tries to tell herself that she won’t let it be as two thirds of her family crowd around the dining table, being as loud and boisterous as they can to try and make up for the empty chair.

Otou-sama doesn’t come back that night either.

Okaa-sama waits up the whole night, or near enough that there’s hardly a difference.

She comes down to leave for training with Gai-sensei, and Okaa-sama’s still there, watching the sunrise spill light onto the street in her nightclothes with the now lukewarm bag of peas pressed to her cheek. Her mother startles badly when she touches her elbow gently.

She can’t keep her mind on her katas, despite all her efforts in the face of Gai-sensei’s encouragement.

Is Otou-sama alright? How much has he eaten in the past week? Are they hurting him?

Will he come back at all?

When this thought crystallizes, she has to duck behind a tree to be violently sick.

Gai-sensei finds her spitting bile and crying so hard she can’t stop herself. He offers her a packet of tissues to wipe her mouth with and pulls her into a one-armed hug, rubbing her shoulder soothingly.

It’s almost enough to make her believe everything will be right again when training ends and she goes home.

Not quite. But almost.

It feels strange.

She sees her mother’s puffy eyes (Okaa-sama didn’t go to bed like she suggested, even if she knows from one too many all-nighters at Uni that it’d be hellish to try and face today on no sleep), she sees Gai-sensei’s concerned glances between her and her mother, she faintly hears Lee and Naruto’s questions about how Okaa-sama’s feeling and when Otou-sama’s coming back—

But it’s like there’s a fog. Clouding her brain, making her head hurt. That’s blocking her from really feeling— everything.

She keeps expecting Otou-sama to open the front door, maybe with a black eye but no worse for wear, laughing about the mixup they had at his work, how it’s all a misunderstanding, how ridiculous it was anyone in a million years could ever suspect him—

Otou-sama misses breakfast.

Okaa-sama takes her aside before she and Naruto and Lee can go to the Academy for the day.

“We weren’t—” She purses her lips, twisting tight around the sob in her throat. “We were going to wait until you were ten. But—with your father—”

Okaa-sama can’t quite choke off that sob. She waits, patiently, until her mother can explain, can press the thing she’s holding into her little hands.

It’s not a knife or dagger. It’s too long for that, but not by much. It has a pretty sheath, grey decorated in red tomoe, and the blade gleams a cold silvery-blue when she pulls it out carefully.

“...Across the stomach, right?” She asks. That’s what she heard about hara-kiri from her past life, but she doesn’t want to get this wrong. Not when it’s Ketsugi honor on the line.

Okaa-sama blinks, drawing away from her, something like horror dawning across her face. “...N-no, sweetheart. Across the stomach is for men. We women do it across the throat. But that is not what this is to be used for. This is for self-defense only, alright? Mayu, promise me.”

She nods, not quite understanding what she needs defending from. Gai-sensei said there were only comrades in the village. She just needs to be good, and keep her head down, and they’ll stop hurting Okaa-sama and Otou-sama and realize they’re comrades too.

“Keep Naruto or Lee with you.” Her mother breathes, hugging her close and hard after tying an obi around her dress. It feels like the not-knife sticks out like a sore thumb beneath the bunched fabric. “Your Otou-san will be back soon. And we all need to be there to greet him, understand?”

“Yes, Okaa-sama.” She says, hugging her mother back, trying to convince herself that ritual suicide won’t be such a bad way to go if worst comes to worst, that she’s not afraid of death, that she has no right to be, given that she’s died once already.

Judging by the tears that gather in her eyes, she’s awful at persuasion.

She tries her best.

She’s even a little annoyed at the fog-headache, because while it keeps her from feeling all the awful truths and doubts about the situation, it also stops her from absorbing Mizuki-sensei’s lectures.

And she needs to be a model little tree-hugger if she wants Otou-sama to come home.

The pretty not-knife digs into her stomach whenever she moves. It’s very distracting.

Naruto and Chouji and Lee and Ino and Kiba and even Sasuke speak to her in careful tones of voice though. Like she might break if they go louder than a slow semi-whisper.

She wants to appreciate it. She really does. But, well. Brain fog. Makes it hard to concentrate.

Maybe the fog is also part of chakra? Distancing the host from their intentions and emotions to better manipulate them into mindlessly producing the energy it needs to feed. If she could just get Mizuki-sensei to listen, she could get the use of this stuff banned once and for all—

By the time she checks back in, she’s blinking up at Akamatsu Ami with the word “Traitor!” ringing in her ears.

“...S-sorry?” She asks, her voice wavering.

Ami huffs. “What are you, stupid? I said everybody knows your daddy is a filthy traitor to this village. Just watch, his execution will be scheduled before the day is up. Guess the Hokage will know not to take in slant-eyed scrap from Iron anymore.”

And Naruto is yelling and Ino is yelling and Kiba and Chouji, and Sakura is drawing back a fist to punch Ami square in the mouth, and she can’t understand that, because how does she dare? How does she dare to strike anyone—

Don’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon’tshowagression—

—if she knows it’s forbidden? Sakura must be strong. So strong. Why did everyone hate Sakura in her past life if she could be this strong? Strong enough to flagrantly defy the essential rule—

Don’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon’tshowagression—

—the one that she could never have the guts to defy, no matter how much it hurts? No matter how much she feels like she’s choking on the inaction? No matter how much it hurts to grit her teeth and clench her fists and bite down harder and harder and harder—

Don’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon’tshowagression—

Huh.

She’s never heard Mizuki-sensei yell this loud before.

Naruto’s holding her hand and crying. Why is he crying? She tries to shush him, tell him it’s alright, but her just cries harder when her hand brushes his hair, his grip sure to bruise.

Then there’s the nice man with the scar on his nose kneeling on front of her.

“Hello Ketsugi-chan.” He says. “Do you know who I am?”

Of course she does. He’s the one who tries to be nice to Naruto. He’s not always successful, but he tries, which is more than she can say for Taki-sensei and Mizuki-sensei. She tries to tell him this, but it comes out illegible and half-burbled, her mouth burning.

She frowns. Stupid mind fog.

“Right.” The nice man says, frowning. She doesn’t want him to frown. She wishes she could give him a better answer. “Well, I’m Iruka-sensei. I’m going to take you to the hospital now, because you’ve bitten your poor lip very hard. Do you understand, Ketsugi-chan?”

She does and she doesn’t like it, because Okaa-sama said she wasn’t to go anywhere without Naruto or Lee, because if she does go somewhere without Naruto or Lee, she’ll have to commit ritual suicide with the pretty not-knife and then Otou-sama will never come home, because Okaa-sama said they all had to be there for him to be welcomed back, and she wants Otou-sama back, she wants Otou-sama, she wants—

“Easy Ketsugi-chan, easy, easy.” Iruka-sensei presses a hand to her chest, stopping her from inhaling until the pressure lightens, making her exhale when he presses down again. It should feel scary. It’s weird how it helps her focus on his words instead, “You’ll be okay if Naruto-kun and Lee-kun are with you?”

Yeah, that sounds fair. She nods rapidly so Iruka-sensei gets the message.

He grabs her head. His face looks scared, before he begins smiling again, uneasy. “Right. Okay.” He picks her up, cradling her against his green jacket.

It doesn’t feel like Otou-sama or Gai-sensei picking her up. It’s not bad, but not familiar. She squirms a little in his grip.

“Lee-san, can you come with us please?”

She can hear Lee, distantly. It sounds strange, like someone’s taken Lee’s voice and made it too high, too panicked. She wants to pat his head too, tell him it’s all okay, Otou-sama will come back before we know it.

Then they’re in the village, and then they’re in a white building with a lot of rushing people. It looks like a hospital.

“That’s because it is a hospital, Ketsugi-chan.” Iruka-sensei says, distracted.

Oh. That makes sense.

They make Iruka-sensei sit outside.

They try to make Naruto and Lee stay outside too, but she begins crying and Naruto begins crying and Lee gets shiny eyes and a wobbly lower lip, so eventually they let them in with her.

The nurse who takes her height and weight is nice, if a little too smiley. The smile is nice, soft and friendly, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes all the way. Like it’s pasted onto her face.

Her smile goes weird, more rigid, when Naruto and Lee suddenly begin drooping like they’re tired and she grabs their hands hard to wake them back up. She walks out of the room quickly, without saying a word to any of them.

The doctor is even more nice, so that makes up for the weird smiley nurse.

The doctor frowns and says there wasn’t a nurse, but he’s more focused on doing something to Mayu’s mouth which involves a pretty green glow, so she forgives him for being a bit oblivious.

She gets a lollipop that the nice doctor says is for later, and she tells him obviously, they haven’t even had lunch yet, it’s very important to eat a proper lunch before you can have dessert, otherwise you’ll fill up on nothing but sugar and feel sick later.

Naruto lets out a watery laugh and the doctor tells her she’s very right, that she should be a nutritionist when she’s older, and pats her head.

She accepts the head pat but regrettably tells the doctor she’s going to be too busy being a pirate chef to be a nutritionist, but thank you for the offer.

The doctor tells her that’s okay as Naruto hugs her a little too tight and Lee tells her he thinks she could become the best ninja nutritionist AND a pirate chef if she wanted to when Okaa-sama and Gai-sensei burst in.

So apparently she bit her lip so hard, her teeth ended up going clean through it.

There’s now a small, white scar on her lower lip, and another on the flesh-colored bit under it where it meets her chin. The nice doctor says it should fade in a couple of years.

It makes her feel sort of gross to think about it too hard, so she tries not to.

She gets a lot of hugs, for some reason.

From Okaa-sama, who manages to confiscate the not-knife with a stern look sometime between the second and the third, and she doesn’t try to hide how much easier it is to breathe without it digging into her.

From Gai-sensei, who’s bawling about youth and strength and relying on others and youth and somehow has managed to sweep Iruka-sensei into the hug as well, despite the scarred man’s sputtering and attempts to escape.

Okaa-sama tries to insist that he come round for dinner, but he says a lot of things about not wanting to impose and favoritism, so eventually they haggle him down to treating him to Ichiraku’s some time.

Nobody can turn down Ichiraku’s.

Naruto and Lee have been all but attached to her side since the nice doctor told them she’d be fine, but maybe don’t yawn too widely for a few weeks. Naruto somehow managed to smuggle her lollipop away from her during the walk home and is now eating it.

When she protests, he pulls it out of his mouth with a sour look. “Mayu-chan, you bit yourself so bad I thought you were gonna die. There was blood everywhere, believe it. Imma need the-ra-pee to get over it.”

“Therapy doesn’t mean you get all my desserts, Naruto.” She replies.

He raises his eyebrows in challenge, lollipop firmly in his cheek.

“Fine.” She grouses, leaning more into Lee, who has been moved to tears by Gai-sensei’s third rendition of the importance of relying on your comrades and not shouldering burdens alone.

They end up sort of—collapsing. Once they’re back home.

It’s been a very stressful week for all of them.

Guy-sensei is chuffed seven ways to Sunday once he finds out about the tortoise melon bread, which somehow managed to go uneaten in all the fuss of the previous night, so they end up tearing those apart to share as a light lunch.

Her mother soon drops off, curled up in her armchair, while Gai-sensei ends up snoring on the couch. She regales Naruto and Lee with her best rendition of One Piece’s Alabasta Arc, half-drowsing in the sunlight.

Lee’s especially enamored with the idea of Luffy’s techniques and the Dugong Gang.

The Harunos drop by late into the afternoon, bearing their bags and lunchboxes which Mizuki-sensei apparently foisted upon them after school ended, so they share that between them as a late afternoon snack.

There’s an unspoken consensus that tonight’s dinner will be Ichiraku’s takeout.

She’s taking down everyone’s orders when there’s a knock at the door.

There’s a man with familiar blue eyes and blonde hair standing there when she answers it.

She doesn’t hear what he says, because hanging over his shoulder, hardly standing under his own steam is—

“OTOU-SAN!!”

She can barely hear the ragged cry that tears itself from her throat because she’s barreling forward, slamming into her father and holding on as tightly as she can.

His hakama feels stiff and crusty under her fingers, and he stinks of sweat and copper.

But she doesn’t care about any of that, doesn’t care that she’s bawling like a helpless little eight year old right here in the street, because her Otou-san is back, he’s here, he’s home.

The fingers he runs over her hair are rough due to the bandages that cover them, and his face is bruised when he pulls her cheeks up to look at her, grinning widely around a split lip and a broken nose held together with gauze.

“I’m home, Mayu.” He says.

And she begins crying all over again, and Naruto barrels into him on her other side, equally snotty nosed, then Lee, and Okaa-san, kissing all of his bruises and choking out a “welcome back” right before Gai-sensei slams into them, toppling everyone to the ground as he wails harder than anyone else.

Later she’ll learn the blonde man is Ino’s dad, and she’ll make the girl so much pudding that the Yamanaka won’t need to purchase that product for a month. She’ll also make Sakura enough anmitsu that she can’t look at the dessert for a week.

She’ll learn that her father has bandages on his hands because his fingernails were ripped out, and it takes a long and painful time for them to grown back in before he can even think about holding his bokken like he used to. That he did end up helping the village once Yamanaka-san met with him, because the thieves tried to scatter around money and symbols from other nations to throw everyone off the scent, but he knew the ryō from Iron was twenty years out of date, and all the others were tarnished with age, except for—

And then her mother will tell her to stop eavesdropping and go to bed, which she will, but not without much whining beforehand.

But right now, she revels in the slightly crushing weight and squirming limbs of her family around her, and begins laughing wetly through her tears.

[hellsparadiseessays]

Aza Brothers Week - Day 5

I released that essay on r/Jigokuraku back in early July, about one month after the infamous chapter 56 got out. It wasn’t a fun topic to tackle, so as a result I’m leaving the warning I put at the start of the essay before the cut. Because chapter 56 was not ok. Though keep in mind that I’m not mad at UG for it - quite the contrary, his intent is clearly not to make the chapter sexy. However, I heavily suspected the fandom to not find it as obvious because well, we have our own cultural issues. And considering how this essay has been received, and the stuff I noticed even in the Japanese side of the fandom... Well, this essay is in my opinion much needed to explain why chapter 56 is more brutal that it seems. It’s also a good follow-up on yesterday’s post, which stopped at chapter 55. 

Warning : This thread will contain references to rape, so if the topic is sensitive to you, I suggest you avoid reading it. This thread will contain spoilers for the most recent chapters as well, so read it once you’re up to date with the manga to avoid being spoiled and know what I am talking about.

Chapter 56 - A commentary on power and powerlessness

I have been keeping it to myself (and occasionally kinda raged about it on Discord join us) ever since chapter 56 was released, back in April. I’ll be honest with you, despite me joking with everybody else on Discord, that chapter really hit a personal chord and I had a hard time working on this commentary because of that. Let’s just say I regularly had to stop and come back to it a few days later, once I got my head cool again and my brain fully functional – I didn’t want my emotions to get in the way of the analysis.

Here we are now, ready to tackle a difficult topic: the borderline rape of Chôbe by Rien. And I say “borderline”, only because it was Chôbe who successfully did his Chôbe thing. He remains in a dangerous position, one I certainly don’t envy, and one that he himself strongly dislikes.

This commentary will be divided into three parts: firstly, the use of rape as a comedic device in mainstream media and how it trivialises a situation that, in fact, has dramatic consequences. Then, we’ll study Rien has a character through his past and present actions, to establish the nature of his interactions and the way he perceives himself. Finally, we’ll address Chôbe’s reactions while facing danger, and how he deals with his emotions.

I. Rape as a comedic tool

One of the many reasons why this chapter makes me uncomfortable is my personal fear for jokes made about that sort of situation. Why, you may rightfully ask? Because it is very much present in mainstream media, be it in Japan or in Western countries. Considering Reddit is mostly Western-oriented, I chose to pick a reference that focuses on rape in Western media to build my argument around, and I strongly suggest you to watch the video before you continue with this commentary. “Sexual assault of men played for laughs”, by Jonathan McIntosh from the Youtube channel Pop Culture Detective, thoroughly explores the issue through the lens of North American media, which have an area of influence that goes way beyond North America itself – especially with the massive worldwide use of internet. While not all the items of this video fit with the commentary at hand, it nonetheless points out an especially interesting argument: the man who failed to be a man – the one perceived as in control of the situation -, is subjected to various mockeries because it’s fair after all, he wasn’t really being a man when it happened, so he failed as a person.

I think we could even see this issue as a double insult to both men and women with that issue: 1) women can’t be in control because it’s not their role, 2) men who aren’t in control are perceived as emasculated, and thus the jeering is entirely justified because how dare they consider themselves men, right? Basically, this sort of joke is based on a perception of power and who is supposed to hold it. And power is what sexual assault is about. It’s not about lust or provocation. Sexual assault is the act of abusing your power over someone else to the point of robbing them of even their intimacy. This is something that tends to break people, or at least seriously damage them. Yet, this loss of power is something that remains mocked or silenced. And while women are starting to speak up, it’s still rare to see men open up about it. In Jonathan McIntosh’s video, the example of Terry Crew in reaction to the Harvey Weinstein affair and the following #Metoo movement is telling: losing power (what is perceived as such), especially as a man, is still treated in a demeaning manner that should only be mocked or ignored, not as something serious that can affect the victim for years and have a negative effect on their life in general.

Sexual assault of men as comedy is destructive, yet still awfully present in the series and movies we watch – even kids’ shows. Yes, you read it well. Kids’ shows. It gives a certain inclination to joke about rape – especially when it happens to men -, by internalising the issue and not realising how demeaning it actually is. It’s even visible in the most mainstream manga and anime (Naruto’s 1000 years of pain, anyone?) and we’ll play a little game about that: in your comment, I invite you to point out sexual assault as a joke in a manga/anime you know (and maybe enjoy). Keep in mind that I’m not doing that to slam the creations or their authors, it’s just to point out how surprisingly common it can be. I also wish to point out that, in chapter 56 of Jigokuraku, UG didn’t go that way at all. On the contrary, he made it clear that Chôbe was in danger and painfully aware of it throughout the chapter, while Rien... Was being Rien, with his own perception of who he is and the power he holds.

II. Rien: the perception of power

Now that we’ve established the basis about the way sexual assault with men as victims is perceived (especially in the West, a point of view vastly predominant on Reddit), we can start digging on Rien’s case of A God I Am.

As soon as Rien gets his first appearance (chapter 26), his status is made clear: among the boss level characters we’ve seen so far (Ju Fa, Tao Fa, Zhu Jin), he is one cut above and presents himself as the uncontested leader, the patriarch of a family who rules and serves punishment when he deems it necessary. From his point of view, he’s the head of the Tensen family as well as (potentially, it depends on Jofuku being alive of not), the ruler of the island – or the head scientist of the giant laboratory that is Kotaku. It means that Rien isn’t just the most powerful being on the island (though the notion of power can be discussed there, considering the power system used by UG), he also perceives himself as such and demonstrates it with an iron hand: the way he treated Mei before she escaped is good enough as a proof.

Behind his position as the head scientist, he shows a ruthless cruelty and a readiness to not even consider other people as persons. Mei herself, suggested as being one of the first successful experiments by Jofuku – and thus being “family” to Rien -, gets banished, mutilated and used as a living experiment material for the very thing she dared openly call out (the massive use of humans for experimentations). Rien even openly states, in chapter 26, that he’s the only one with the right to punish family members when Ju Fa injures an already weakened Zhu Jin. It gives us an idea of what Rien may mean by “punishment”. Go against his will: die or become an experiment. Disobey him: get severely injured if you’re part of the Tensen family, I heavily suspect death may be the sentence when you don’t have that luxury – and so does Chôbe. Until now, Rien has thus been shown as having a general behaviour that could be qualified of sociopathic: being indifferent towards others to the point of not seeing them as people, dehumanising anybody, using the “we’re family” or “I’ll tell you everything” tactic to try and keep people on his side. Interestingly, between him and Mei, he’s the one who has spend the most time with the other Tensen, and it is visible in their behaviour as well: they show similar sociopathic traits (Mu Dan’s experiments he seemed to find most amusing, Ju Fa qualifying Chôbe of “it” and “livestock”...).

However, no matter how godly Rien thinks he is, he remains surprisingly human and this has been shown to us through the point of view of his latest victim, who managed to do what, I suspect, no other character in the story would have been able to pull off without seriously getting in trouble for it (meaning: die immediately): he momentarily reversed the power dynamic to save his skin for at least a moment.

III. Chôbe’s status as a victim and how he handles it

Since the start, I’ve been claiming left and right that Chôbe is probably too smart for his own good, but it’s not just that. It’s an accumulation of everything that happened to him and his brother. Chôbe is very intimate with the notion of powerlessness. He’s been living it repeatedly since he’s a kid, slowly losing his place in society until he became an outcast. As a consequence, the way he thinks isn’t based on honour or revenge: it’s about survival, first and foremost.

The first time we see him go full survival mode is when he and Toma momentarily run away from the Sôshin that are outnumbering them, to find a better position to fight. In that chapter (chapter 9), we witness another way to survive that is very much Chôbe’s own method – no other character has done it, not even Toma -: instead of resisting a power stronger than his own, he integrates himself into the equation by mirroring the person who’s displaying power over him. By doing so, he creates an impression of kinship he can exploit to his advantage. As a kid, he mutilated himself to the point of losing sight in his right eye and being seriously scarred to “pretty himself up” by looking more like the bandits who were planning to harm Toma and sell them both. Doing so created a strong impression in their captors’ mind, and Chôbe used that impression to claim a place among the bandits – a first step towards claiming his power as an individual capable of thoughts and choices back. By integrating himself like that, he managed to become the leader of the pack, the chief of an entire village of bandits, causing so much trouble it warranted death penalty for him.

This method of mirroring the person holding power over him is visible again during the entirety of chapter 56. This chapter starts with Chôbe being captive, literally tied to a bed and clearly uncomfortable for many reasons: he’s been beaten to the point of passing out after having been treated like a wonderful unicorn (not a person), wakes up in an unknown place, tied to a bed in a peculiar position. By that point, Rien already marked a lot of Creep Points, and Chôbe has a lot of reasons to find the situation disagreeable. But it’s not enough, and Chôbe ends up facing actual blackmail: cooperate or become Tan (which is pretty much like dying, but worse: your life force is sucked out of you while you’re in a fake wonderland. Chôbe had a taste of it and saw what it looked like while he was in the Tan pit, both him and Toma weren’t enthusiastic about the situation and quickly got out of the pit). During the entire chapter, Chôbe weighs his options and stalls time by asking questions and gather more information on his situation to pick the best option to stay alive. It’s a daring move, to do that while facing the local godly being, but Chôbe isn’t stupid and understands having the choice of cooperating means he has value somehow. And to squeeze all the information he needs from Rien, to better weight his option and understand what’s going on on this unnatural island (he realised it’s unnatural in chapter 54), he does what we’ve already seen him do in the aforementioned bandits’ village flashback: he mirrors the one having power over him to gain some agency back through deception.

That’s where something we’ve seen him do a lot happens: he smiles. Mind you, it’s not a genuine smile. Chôbe isn’t really a smiling person, we’ve seen that everytime we’ve got even the smallest hints regarding his true feelings. However, Chôbe uses his mask as a tool for deception and picked this habit as a kid: a grin to the bandits even though his face was heavily injured to convince them of keeping him and his brother, a grin when he steels himself while facing the Sôshin, a smile when he tries to deceive Gabimaru before suddenly attacking him. It’s the vicious, weaponised grin of someone who figured out what to do and where to go, while keeping others’ attention down. He even smiles while sweating when he is nervous, at the end of chapter 55, because he has no idea what’s going on but somehow he’s tied to a bed and someone one-sidedly decided to have sex with him (yes, in case you hadn’t noticed, Rien didn’t care about his consent, because Rien doesn’t see him as a person). However, during chapter 56, we slowly see him integrates himself in the equation again by imitating Rien’s moves to numb his wariness under the guise of complying with the cooperation request. His actions mismatch his thoughts exactly for that purpose: his first thought is about a way to escape, but he realises it may be too dangerous for him. So he renounces - for now - to by himself some time and repeats his mantra, to adapt and figure things out, and gives Rien what he wants because it’s the only viable option for survival.

Since then, qualifying his attitude towards the Tensen of “bad faith” could be an understatement. He may be willing to concede certain things under the threat of death, but he will still have the guts to stand his ground, even while facing a whole group of people who could kill him – and openly threaten to do so. It takes a certain kind of madness to do that sort of thing, and oh, it’s exactly what the bandits said about him when he purposefully injured himself just to prove a point. Chôbe is too smart for his own good, but he still manages to get his agency back when it’s stolen from him, and that’s what makes him incredibly dangerous, even for the Tensen. Even in real life, it takes a certain kind of character to pull that sort of thing off. Still, despite all of his wrong, what happened to Chôbe during his childhood as well as chapter 56 qualifies him as a victim, and UG handled it incredibly well, making it tragic (if not outright nerves wracking, at least in my case) instead of using it as a comedic tool. Thank you for that, UG.

This commentary took me about... At least 10 days just to be worked on, despite the very small amount of references needed for it.

Without giving away too much information, I empathise strongly with Chôbe’s predicament and generally find him very relatable, at a personal level. His tactics are easy to recognise not just because they’ve been made fairly clear by UG, but also because there’s a pattern I know all too well in them. So yeah, that commentary tackled some difficult topics for me, and I had trouble keeping a cool head while writing it. It was a difficult birth, chapter 56 still makes my skin crawl. However, I hope you found this write up informative or entertaining. Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts, answer my little challenge (an example of sexual assault played for laugh in a manga/anime you know), ask questions, scold me for yet another Chôbe rant...

[raendown]

Commission for @crystallizedshadowfire, thank you!

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Rated: E Word count: 4493 Summary: The Chief of Police and the boss of the local mob, an unlikely pairing for sure. Keeping their relationship a secret is hard, coming up with excuses for why they haven't taken each other down yet is harder, but of course Madara always finds a way to complicate things that don't need complicating.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Criminal Malpractice 

Madara scowled and flinched at the sound of a bullet impacting the concrete wall he and his subordinates were hiding behind. He was getting too old for this shit.

Okay so he wasn’t actually all that old yet, barely creeping up on his mid-thirties, but his poor ears had suffered through more than their fair share of this bullshit. He would find a new line of work if he hadn’t already entrenched himself so deeply in to this lifestyle that the mob might very well fall apart without him. Maybe he should start thinking about training a replacement soon so that he could retire. Obito was showing a lot of promise as he grew in to his later adolescence, he would make a good successor. He was also just crazy enough to enjoy this lifestyle and all the insanity that came with it. Kids these days were wild.

A chunk of something that may have been concrete but also may have been a fragment of skull bone went rocketing passed his face. At the same time one of his men jerked backwards and collapsed to the ground, falling utterly still in a way Madara recognized all too well. His nose wrinkled. Yet another widow to console, another life lost to cover up while he tried to keep his own mourning quiet to help the lower ranks keep up morale. Lately he was running out of ways to make bodies disappear in a manner that wouldn’t lead suspicion back to him or anyone that worked for him and his family. Just because it was common knowledge that the Uchiha family were connected with the mob didn’t mean they should make it easy for the law enforcement to pin them with any actual evidence.

Mistakes like today notwithstanding. If he hadn’t already taken out the cameras in this area it would be very hard to talk his way out of being accused of something here.

Speaking of law enforcement, Madara dared to peek around their cover and count the heads popping up from behind the barricade of police cruisers. He forced his eyes to skip past the head of shining white hair they wanted to catch on and focus instead on the actual bane of his existence. In another world Shimura Danzo would definitely have followed a similar nefarious path as Madara had – although probably with less than half the morals. Madara’s life was filled with illegal acts but he had a code of conduct, okay? He took care of his own and really he was just trying to make this city better. Just because his methods were shady didn’t mean he didn’t care, he simply cared in all the ways that people who followed the law couldn’t.  

Unfortunately for the City of Konoha the illustrious Shimura Danzo had instead decided to dedicate his life to being a police officer. At some point he must have had high hopes for what he surely thought would be a shining career. It clearly rankled that he hadn’t made it even to Captain, stuck forever at the rank of Sergeant and taking out the frustration that gave him on the men he led. Serving under a much younger Chief of Police – the youngest their city had ever seen yet also the most competent – had turned him even more bitter. Several times now the man had tried to reach out to the underbelly of the city, determined to turn dirty cop. Madara, however, owned the underbelly of this city and he had a standing order forbidding his people from dealing with the man.

The chaos of a shootout seemed like the perfect opportunity to remove a problem he was more than tired of working around. Across the way he could see Izuna pausing at the sight of his satisfied grin, though his brother only narrowed his eyes in suspicion. It cut to the quick to be so mistrusted by his own kin. Really it did!

“What are you planning?”

“To get rid of a nuisance,” Madara said. In one smooth motion he stood, aimed, and fired then immediately dropped back down hoping no one caught enough of a look at him for a positive identification. Then he looked over to where Izuna was using a small mirror to keep track of the action. “Did I get him?”

“Yup. You definitely shot the Chief of Police.”

“WHAT!?”

Completely disregarding his own safety, Madara jerked around and popped his head out in to the open. Shimura was still standing. A foot or so to his left side Senju Tobirama, the man who had skyrocketed up the ranks since the day he joined the force, was being dragged away to safety while he very calmly attempted to staunch his own bleeding and sent a thunderous scowl toward the mob forces. Their eyes met across the mayhem for a brief moment and Madara swallowed thickly.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this.”

 -

 The hours he waited in the empty house that night were some of the longest he had ever spent. Owning the city always felt like less of an accomplishment during the times when he was faced with how little rights he had to his own life partner. Falling in love with a police officer was a terrible idea, he’d known that right from the moment he realized where his heart was headed, but staying with the man and supporting him all the way up to being named Chief of Police was such a spectacularly bad idea he still wondered how neither of their associates had caught wind of it yet.

Having only a select few people who knew where he called home helped with that, as well as his partner’s infamous reclusive tendencies. It did not make the waiting any easier when he knew that Tobirama was spending those hours in a hospital undergoing surgery where Madara was quite unwelcome to go visit. A known mob boss visiting an officer of the law? Yeah, not obvious at all.

Adrenaline rushed through him at the click of the lock on their front door and Madara hurried over to peek down the hall just as the tumbler slid back in to place. Tobirama’s movements were stiff but he was blessedly alone as he slid off his shoes and toed them in to the neat little spot where he always kept them, eyeing the coat hooks then sighing and trudging down the hall without removing the fur trimmed civilian jacket buttoned over what remained of his uniform. When he spotted Madara skulking around the corner he stiffened even further and turned in to the kitchen without a word.

Madara slinked after him like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs. Silence stretched between them as Tobirama went through the motions of drawing a mug of tea one handed and the guilt rose higher and higher in Madara’s throat until he couldn’t take it and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“So how was your day at work?”

Obviously he realized how stupid that was the moment he said it. He really didn’t need Tobirama to slam his cup down hard enough to slosh precious Darjeeling in every direction.

“You fucking shot me, that was my day at work!” Shaking out his now scalded fingers, he turned around to return fire with the daggers in his eyes. “I’m out of commission for at least a week, if not several, and what do I have to show for it? Another ‘failed’ attempt to take down the man living in my own home. You are very fucking welcome for covering that abysmal escape, by the way, because I had to cover your ass from a god damned ambulance!”

“I’m sorry, okay!? I was aiming for that Shimura dick head!”

“Well your aim fucking sucks, go ask Kagami for a few lessons on marksmanship before you take my head off next time!”

Madara shuddered. His nephew was a walking ball of sunshine terror, too happy to be natural and too gifted with long range weaponry to be entirely human. No way was he putting himself through another round of cheerful hours on the gun range just to come out even more thankful that he’d somehow managed to keep the kid happy in the role of budding assassin. Unhappy assassins usually came after their boss and he certainly wasn’t looking to have both eyes taken out from three streets away with no evidence.

Tobirama cruelly allowed him to stew in those thoughts while he turned away again and ran cold water to soothe the fingers he had spilled tea all over. Watching him, Madara cringed as he realized he had effectively taken both the poor man’s hands out of commission. He really wasn’t doing so hot today. Some big bad boss he made when he couldn’t even care for his own partner properly.

“Let me,” he offered quietly. Tobirama subsided with a grumble, throwing himself down – gently – at the kitchen table to watch every movement with an eagle eye. It was a little nerve wracking but Madara bore up well enough until the tea was cleaned up and remade, delivered with a shamefully bowed head. While his lover drank the offering Madara tried several times to open his mouth and make his apologies but every time he thought he had the words straight in his head he would look up at Tobirama and everything in his brain would scatter all over again in favor of the heavy guilt weighing him down.

He shot his own lover. He put a bullet in to his own partner’s flesh. What words could possibly make up for that? How could Tobirama ever forgive him when he was quite sure he would never forgive himself?

“Nothing vital got hit, at least.” He jerked in surprise when Tobirama broke the silence first.

“Oh. Good. That’s…I’m sorry.” If any of his subordinates could hear how small his voice was in that moment he had no doubt that they would laugh themselves silly and lose all respect for him. No one would ever fear his retribution again if they knew how far gone he was for the man across the table.

“I’m going to bed.”

“But-!”

“Madara, I am tired. I spent nearly thirteen hours in the hospital because they allowed a first year resident to operate and he was so incompetent they had to open me up again and go back in as soon as he stitched me closed. They wanted me to stay overnight but I assured them that I had a ‘guest’ staying with me who could help and now speculations about my personal life have tripled. My own partner shot me, my officers are chomping at the bit to have you behind bars for it, and I am in so much pain I can hardly think straight.” Pushing his empty mug away, he struggled to his feet with his jaw tightening when the motion tugged on some sensitive areas. “I want nothing more than to let this fucking day end.”

He was tottering out of the kitchen a moment later, leaving Madara glaring at the floor in personal offense that it had not yet opened up and swallowed him whole. If he were as brilliant a man as his beloved then maybe he could turn to evil science, create a time machine, go back to this morning and crack himself around the head for ever pointing a weapon anywhere close to his most precious person.

Since he wasn’t a mad genius he hauled himself out of his own chair and shuffled down towards the bedroom after the other man. He found Tobirama hovering by the end of the bed plucking at the buttons of his jacket and scowling deeply, unable to move one arm and unwilling to fiddle too much now that his other hand was covered in mild burns. Madara inched in to the room until he was spotted and told himself that it was perfectly normal for a grown man to feel so small when faced with such a sharp gaze.

“Want some help?” he offered. Tobirama snorted, dropping his hand and turning his head away moodily.

Having two working hands, Madara made quick work of the buttons and helped to slide the jacket off as gently as possible. With soft-spoken requests for a movement here or a shift there he got Tobirama down to nothing but his skin, at which point he hurried over to fetch a pair of pajama pants from one of the dressers against the eastern wall of their bedroom, scurrying back to kneel down and keep Tobirama steady while the man slid one foot in to each leg. It was hard to resist letting his touches linger like they usually would with so much skin on display and his face right there where it would be only too easy to turn his head and take the man’s length in to his mouth. Fortunately he wasn’t stupid enough to do something like that without warning when the mood in the room was so clearly not headed for such activities.

Although…perhaps he could fix that. They both knew that apologies weren’t his strong suit, his words better suited to barking orders than expressing the feelings trapped in his chest. And they both also knew that he was prone to finding more physical ways to making his feelings known, whether that be doing more than his fair share of the household chores or offering certain bedroom services without asking for reciprocation.

Of course what he had done this time was hardly something he could erase with a hand job or two but there was nothing wrong with trying and doing one thing for his partner didn’t mean he was going to call it a day and forget the whole issue. He was an asshole but he wasn’t completely heartless.

Well, not when it came to Tobirama, at least.

The possibility stayed on his mind all through helping Tobirama brush his teeth and wash his face then pulling the sheets down to tuck the man underneath them and go do all those things for himself as well. By the time he was turning off the lights and sliding under the blankets he was half hard in his pajamas and almost ashamed of how much the idea appealed to him. Not because he was ashamed of his own desires, that ship had sailed more than a decade ago and he certainly had no regrets about where his appetites had taken him, but rather because he was sure it wasn’t an appropriate apology for this sort of situation.

But really, was there ever going to be a proper way to say sorry for shooting his own partner in the chest? Or shoulder. He hadn’t had a chance to take a good look at the wound yet, covered as it was by several layers of gauze. At least that particular wave of guilt could be left until tomorrow when he would of course insist on helping to change the bandages.

Madara squirmed and fretted in the dark bedroom until he nearly leapt out of his own skin when Tobirama was once again the first of them to break the silence.

“Do you know how much paperwork I would have had to do if you did manage to shoot that asshole?”

“You…” All the tension in his body was violently expelled with a hard snort of laughter. “Is that what has you so fucking grumpy?” With a grin of relief he rolled over and fitted himself again the other man’s uninjured side. Tobirama sighed moodily.

“No, I’m grumpy because you shot me. With a bullet. It hurts. And I don’t know what painkillers they gave me but I am so high but I still fucking hurt.”

Madara sniggered. “You don’t seem high to me, if that helps.”

“It doesn’t. The room is spinning. Make it stop.”

“Actually, I had a thought. I was thinking of making it spin even faster – in a different way.” He pressed a kiss to Tobirama’s shoulder but got only a huff for his troubles. Stubborn man, refusing to be seduced even when Madara was clearly being obvious about what he wanted to do.

Lolling his head to one side, Tobirama grumbled, “Faster would not help.”

“Stop being stupid and let me give you an apology blow.”

“Ah. I’m quite sure that’s not a great idea at the moment but I am also not going to stop you so long as you understand that I can’t do much in return.” His lover turned to blink hazily at him and Madara could finally see what he meant about the pain killers. That was not the same sharp gaze he had seen in the kitchen. Something must have finally kicked in. With a laugh he pressed forward to kiss those pouting lips.

“That is entirely the point love. You’re going to be angry at me again in the morning anyway so you might as well enjoy tonight, yes?” Madara waited for the other man to nod in concession of his excellent point before shuffling around and sliding further down the mattress. “Good, then just lay back and let me take care of you.”

He gleefully chuckled over the agreeable hum from his partner. Usually it was a lot easier to fluster Tobirama with blunt sex talk but apparently the influence of whatever drugs they had him on mellowed out certain inhibitions. It was a shame his job kept him strait-laced and prevented them from recreating this again another day because Madara would have loved to see what kind of filthy things he could talk his way in to like this.

A quick blowjob to see if high-Tobirama was any louder than sober-Tobirama was a good start, though. Madara licked his lips as he gently wriggled his way in between the other man’s legs, being careful not to jostle him too much, then reached for the ties of the pajama pants he had picked out just a few minutes before. If anyone happened to ask he might be convinced to admit that he had chosen these ones because this shade of red looked lovely with Tobirama’s skin and the stretchy cotton made his ass look fantastic. Luckily no one was ever likely to ask.

Briefly mourning that he wouldn’t get to see that ass bent over for him – probably for a long while – Madara bent his neck to draw his tongue along the crease where thigh met groin, smooth skin devoid of hair because his lover liked to keep himself neat in all respects. Steady breathing increased gradually the further his licks and kisses moved inwards until finally Tobirama let out a soft gasp when Madara pressed his tongue flat against the underside of the cock now stiff and full as it waited for his attention and slid all the way up to take the head in his mouth. Then he himself was tempted to moan at the feeling of having his mouth filled.

“Shit,” Tobirama whimpered above him – honest to god whimpered. Legal or not, Madara was definitely getting his hands on something to get this man high again.

In reward for such a pretty sound he slid further down to take as much in as he could. One of his hands pressed down on the hips that were beginning to squirm, hoping Tobirama didn’t hurt himself moving around too much, while his other explored whatever heated skin he could reach. His head bobbed in a slow rhythm in time with the hand that skimmed trembling thighs and traced the grooves of a clenched abdomen. It had always been Tobirama’s body that spoke his pleasure the loudest; hearing him swear so easily and so honestly went straight to Madara’s own cock.

He’d already been sporting a semi. Just that one word combined with the soft groan that followed in the wake of his hands was enough to have him rock hard inside his own pajamas.

Were he not hyper aware of the fact that this was all meant as the start of his – likely to be months long – apology he might have tried to suggest something that would be a little more mutually satisfying. Or if he also weren’t aware that doing so would probably end with Tobirama tearing out his stitches in the heat of the moment. Madara rolled his hips down and moaned around the hard flesh in his mouth, tempted by the idea of grinding himself against the mattress until another thought wriggled its way in.

Tobirama’s protest when he pulled away was garbled and indistinct in a way it never would have been were he entirely sober. It was just enough encouragement for Madara to shuffle around until he was up on his knees where he could go back to work with one hand still holding the weakly bucking hip underneath him in place. With his other he took a moment to skim down and cup his partner’s sacs, rolling them and sliding his fingers lower to trace the places he couldn’t explore until Tobirama was healed enough that the writhing he was prone to wouldn’t hurt him. Then another soft curse met his ears and Madara began to frantically pull at his own drawstrings until they were loose enough to shove the material down and take himself in hand.

His moan vibrated around the shaft he was pleasuring, earning himself yet another intoxicating sound from his partner and encouraging both his mouth and his hand to move faster. Madara was sure if he weren’t already busy concentrating on other things he would be panting as quickly as he could hear the other was. If they continued on just like that he wouldn’t have lasted all that long anyway but then the most amazing thing happened.

For probably the first time in his life Tobirama began to babble.

“Shit, feels good. Don’t…don’t stop. Just- ah. Warm. And wet. Fuck, your mouth is wet. Feels amazing. Do that – with your tongue? That-? Yes, fuck yes, that. Ma-hah! Madara…”

Every word that spilled from him wound the man between his legs higher and higher until Madara was working himself as desperately as he was bobbing his head, praying he could hold off until his partner found satisfaction yet unable to stop his hand from chasing the incredible end he could feel coming on fast. He’d never heard anything like this from Tobirama. Since the day they first gave in to the helpless attraction between them their intimate activities had been filled with a chorus of noises from his own mouth and little more than the occasional grunt from his stubbornly reticent partner.

He had almost forgotten how hot it was to hear someone else enjoying themselves as much as he was.

It wasn’t hard to pinpoint the moment Tobirama finally noticed that he was pleasuring himself at the same time. The apparently unexpected discovery was accompanied with a long drawn out sound that could only be described as lewd and an enthusiastic bucking of the hips. Madara had just enough time to brace himself before his tongue was coated with seed, the entire world fuzzing out around him a few seconds later as the tension inside him burst at last and he spilled over his own hand as well.

Gasping with a cock still filling his mouth was a little hard but Tobirama seemed to appreciate the sensation of his continuous moans until finally they were both completely spent and Madara swallowed the bitter come with only a light grimace. As much as he enjoying sucking cock he’d never really appreciated the taste of the end results. He did very much appreciate the blissed out expression that was waiting for him when he lifted his head, half-lidded eyes staring back at him, satiated and full of warmth. Madara shivered with renewed interest that he regretfully set aside for another time.

“Was a v’ry good apologize. Apology. S’a good blowjob.” Tobirama’s lips curled up in a dopey smile and Madara paused to appreciate the rare sight.

“Should I help you get back in to your pants?” He offered, not trusting himself to say anything else just yet. If he did then it would either be some mangled form of dirty talk or he would spill his whole heart out on the floor in the form of terrible poetry mixed in with a hundred more apologies. And not even sexy ones.

“Mmm. Probably should, yes.”

“Right.” Nodding to himself Madara set about righting both of their clothes and found something to wipe his hand on, snagging a bottle of water from inside the nightstand to rinse out his mouth as well.

Then he crawled up the mattress to lay himself carefully at Tobirama’s side and pulled the blankets up over both of them. He made sure they were all perfectly even and straight, just how his partner liked them, then pressed a kiss against the man’s good shoulder and curled up against him as much as he could without having to worry about jostling the injuries he had caused.

“I’ll cook you breakfast in bed tomorrow,” he promised in a whisper. “And I’ll fetch anything you want around the house. And I’ll even do my best to hold my temper when you inevitably get irritated that you can’t do anything for yourself; we both know you will, don’t deny it.” Despite his words he paused, waiting for the expected denial because Tobirama had a very selective memory when it came to his own temper, but it never came. Curious, Madara lifted his head and peek around to see what was holding his tongue.

Fast asleep. Whatever drugs they had given him were finally doing their job, pulling him down in to dreamland where the pain couldn’t touch him. As much as Madara loved having his partner’s attention he was glad that he would spend the night comfortably and find good rest.

Tomorrow he would spend the day waiting on his partner’s every beck and call. And the next day he was calling Izuna to schedule a council of the Family. Some things in this city had needed changing for a long time and while he was certainly the right man for the job he was not willing to risk the only person who had ever loved him as completely as Tobirama did. Which meant that they would need to change some things about how they themselves operated as well. First he would help his beloved feel better. Then he could go out and make the world better as he’d always intended.

By force if necessary. A smirk tilted the corners of his lips and he looked over at his sleeping partner. He always had preferred to act first and apologize later; at least with some things he rather enjoyed the apology.

[elegiesforshiva]

Ghosts II: The Lacquered Gnat

Masterpost

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Ichiraku's looks both familiar and foreign to Sasuke.  All of Konoha did.  Everything is the same but …new.  

The paint on buildings is brighter, the structures more modern.  There is a lot of reasons why Sasuke had been hesitant to call Konoha his home for what was now the longer part of his life.  But this isn't a reason he anticipated.  Even Naruto has changed, hair shorter, shoulders broader.  His smile as he conversed with the ramen shop owner more gentle.  Still, this new Konoha wasn't necessarily alien. It was more like things have just been revamped.  Right?

So then where the hell is Sakura?

"Teme!"  Naruto's voice is deeper, more rough than he remembers.

"Dobe," Sasuke acknowledges with a nod of his head, and almost grimaces at the montone grain of his voice, dulled with his persistent silence over the years.  He takes a seat beside his old teammate on the small wooden stool and a hot bowl of ramen is placed in front of him before he even orders.

"Don't worry, it's on me," Naruto explains with a grin.  "It's so good to see you! I like the hair—all dark and mysterious.  Bet girls love it too." He nudges Sasuke suggestively, and Sasuke tries not to cringe.  Whether it be at the words themselves or the truth they hold, he's not sure yet. "You've no idea how excited I was when I got that letter from your hawk!"

"Where's Sakura?" Sasuke asks, utterly bewildered by her absence.  She's never late.

"Oh, she's at the hospital," Naruto winds a mouthful of noodles around his chopsticks, "She couldn't make it."

Something wound its way around Sasuke's heart, clenching the organ painfully and biting in with every beat.  He makes an effort to unclench his teeth to speak. "What do you mean she's at the hospital?  It's 7:30." The corner of his mouth twitches into a deep frown. "Didn't you tell her I would be here?"

Naruto swallows a bite of noodles with a wet slurp. "Well, yeah, but it's not like she can just leave whenever she wants to. She's an important medic, teme. She's one of the heads of the hospital now."

"It's Sakura," he says with a snort. "I sent that hawk two weeks ago, she should've been able to have someone cover for her."

"Listen, she'll see you next time.  Don't get your panties all in a bunch." Naruto stuffs his face with ramen, then proceeds to talk while he chews.  "So how were your travels?"  He swallows with a loud gulp.  "Kaka-sensei never gave me all the details.  Said some bull crap about 'confidentiality', as if I'm not about to be Hokage soon."  Naruto rolls his eyes at the mere memory.

But Sasuke wasn’t really paying attention, preoccupied with the uncoiling inside of him.  This isn't like her, she'd want to see him.  It's Sakura for gods sake.  Sure, it's been a couple of years, but she's still team 7.  She should be here, welcoming him home.  Maybe she is sick.   Maybe something happened.  But now Naruto is babbling again and Sasuke knows he's supposed to be put-together by now, so he tries to at least play the part.

"I've just been helping around.  Mostly in Kumo." He takes his first bite of ramen, and his stomach protests as he swallows. "Congratulations on your marriage, by the way."  Sasuke tries not to think of Sakura again.

"Yeah, what the hell! Why weren't you there, eh teme?" Naruto pokes his chopsticks into Sasuke's arm accusingly then. "What kind of guy doesn't even attend his own best friend's wedding?"

"I was busy." Sasuke pushes his arm away not-too-gently. "I'll go to the second one when she realizes what a mistake she's made marrying a dumbass like you."

"Pfft." Naruto slurps more ramen into his mouth. "Please! Hinata's crazy in love with me! I'll have you know we have a kid on the way!" Sasuke coughs, choking on the noodles sliding down his dry gullet.

"What!?" The shop owner's ears perk up. "That's wonderful! Congratulations, Naruto!"

Naruto smile is so bright he can light the whole town. "Haha thanks! I'm really excited!"

"That's horrifying." Sasuke says and swallows water, his brain irreparably rattled at this news.  Naruto?  Having a kid?  He’s not sure how he feels, or how to react and his head wires itself to the cynical default.  "I hope it takes after her more than it does you."

Naruto's face softens then, and a gentle smile crawls over. "Me too."

And Sasuke thinks he has never been more jealous of a smile in his life.

Two days later, Sasuke arrives at training grounds 6 with his usual long blade in tow.  He is surprised to see Naruto already stretching in the center of the mossy field.  It's expected for Naruto to show up a bit early for his ramen, but he's never been quite as enthusiastic as Sasuke when it came to training.

"Oh, hey teme," Naruto calls, reaching past the length of his leg.  "It's just gonna be us today. Sakura-chan said she'd be caught up in the hospital again."

Sasuke makes an effort to keep himself from scowling. "Whatever," he bites out, harsher than intended.

"I was kinda looking forward to watching her kick your ass, but guess I'm just gonna have to do it for her!" He chirps, jubilant as ever.

Sasuke scoffs, but doesn't bother to give a retort, preoccupied with Sakura's absence yet again.

"Let's keep it to taijutsu this time. Kaka-sensei yelled at me last time I wrecked a training ground."

Sasuke contemplates this for a moment.  He certainly was looking forward to holding the raw power of a chidori in his palm, but there was still something sweetly relieving about slamming his fist into a jaw.  Especially the dobe’s.  Sasuke nods in agreement, the chill of the afternoon creeping along his skin. "It'll probably keep you out of the hospital," He says, tactfully abstaining from sneering a bitter comment about Sakura already having her hands full.  He cracks his neck with a sharp tilt of his chin, then his knuckles with a biting pressure.  It’s relieving, despite what the stark sounds suggest.  But not relieving enough.

"Yeah, it won't keep you out though!" Naruto taunts, cerulean eyes gleaming.  He faces Sasuke's grim frown with bent knees and a confident smile. "You ready?"

Sasuke answers with a forward lunge.

A week later, Sasuke suggests another attempt for the former teammates to commemorate his homecoming and the three of them agree to meet up at a civilian bar for a few drinks at night.  Naruto proposes the location and Sasuke only agrees to it because he is sure Sakura won't get stuck in the hospital so late.

Sasuke is the first to arrive, and he isn’t sure if he is pleased or not at this realization.  Without waiting for the other two, he orders a drink that's much too strong for this occasion.  He compensates by taking measured a single measured sip, and revels in the slight burn of his throat as he swallows.

"Teme!" Naruto arrives a couple minutes later, taking a seat right by Sasuke. "Man, you wouldn't believe the shit pregnant women go through, Sasuke.  She's not even that far in and she's throwing up like crazy today.  I'm so glad I have a dick."  Naruto makes a gesture to the bartender eyeing him then. "Oi! I'll have whatever he's having."

Sasuke quirks an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be helping her then?"

Naruto shrugs. "I told her that but she kept saying she's fine.  You know how Hinata-chan is.  I don't think she'd let me cancel on you for her, she's too kind for her own good."  Naruto's face is as warm as honey.

"Sakura's not here," Sasuke's voice is heavy, but this time it's not with irritation.  He takes another calculating sip of his beer.

"What? Am I not good enough for you?" Naruto asks, an unsatisfied frown framing his face.

Sasuke frowns. "She's never late." Sasuke takes a full gulp then to soothe his nerves, and he's displeased to find it numbing his senses but not his thoughts.

"Don't worry, she'll come.  She's probably just stuck at the hospital.  She's always working all kinds of crazy hours."  A tall glass is placed before Naruto then, and he's too eager to take a fast gulp.  He nearly chokes, his hand smacking against his mouth as he swallows before coughing.  The bartender gives him a humored look, but Naruto's attention is focused solely on Sasuke. "Damn, teme! Fuck!" he rasps. "What is this? Vodka?"

Sasuke begins to feel a warming sensation in his body and he's urged on by the lightness of it, because thoughts of Sakura are making him feel so damn heavy.  He takes another gulp and Naruto watches him incredulously.  "Teme, you're not an alcoholic, are you?"  

Sasuke grunts. "No, you idiot."

"Good, cause baa-chan already got that title, and I don't know if I could handle two of you."

It was then that Sasuke's dull senses alerted him to a presence approaching them. A woman with short black hair invites herself onto a seat next to him and his frown grew impossibly deeper.  He runs his eyes over her form, sizing her up.  Her clothes are skimpy but Sasuke is not jarred by flesh no more than open wounds.  He's seen too much of both to be phased.  

"Well, if it isn't Naruto Uzumaki and the great Sasuke Uchiha." Her grin is sincere but her lips are too thin and her hair is too dark for her to have any appeal to him. "You two wouldn't mind if me and a few girls chatted for a bit, would you?  We've heard all sorts of stories about the shinobi war, but I'm sure it's nothing compared to hearing it from war heros themselves.  Think maybe you could show us some moves?"

Naruto is already frowning too. "Uh, actu-"

"Get lost," Sasuke cuts him off, abrasively dismissing their uninvited guest.

She chuckles, the boldness of her laugh grating at Sasuke's ears.  "Don't worry, I wasn't trying to tempt your friend into being unfaithful. The whole village knows about Hinata." She smiles then, and winks at him. "I was actually kind of more interested in you, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke-kun she said.  But her eyes aren't green and her hair isn't pink and Sasuke thinks he's actually going to be sick now.

His growl is demonic and it almost surprises even him. "If you don't leave in the next five seconds, I'll show this whole bar my techniques and you’ll be my live demonstration."

"Teme!" Naruto reprimands.

The woman's frown is twisted, more horrified than upset, eyes nearly bulging from their sockets.  Her lips part, no doubt to retort, but then they close.

“I’m sorry, don’t mind him,” Naruto says. “He just has this problem where his personality is shitty.”  Sasuke scoffs.

“I-it’s fine,” she stammers out.  She mumbles something that he can’t quite make out over the noise.  Then she's gone just as quickly as she came.  Sasuke turns his attention back to his drink and he lets the liquid scorch his insides.

"Teme, that was really harsh," Naruto reprimands with a disappointed frown. It stings him, but he won’t admit to that.

"I don’t give a damn," Sasuke growls. "What kind of moron picks people up by asking about the carnage of war?  Fucking idiot civilian."  His tongue is loose and he's painfully agitated and where the fuck is Sakura?

Naruto is silent for a while, before his voice calls out, soft.  “She doesn’t know,” He says.  “It’s not her fault.  Some things you just have to go through to understand.”    

Sasuke's gulps his liquor down and tries not to ruminate on that.

"Hey, teme, I think you should come over sometime." Naruto says then, and his sincere smile back, as if it was never disturbed to begin with. Sasuke wishes he could wipe away his foul mood that quick.  "I...I really want you to get to know Hinata better.  I think you'd like her."

Sasuke perches his sole arm on the counter and shifts his weight.  The room was spinning and he couldn’t tell if he likes this fact or not. "If she's anything like what I remember, I doubt it." He pauses, then eyes Naruto's newfound sneer.  "But if she's your family, then she's mine too."

Naruto blinks, dumbfounded, before a wide grin unravels onto his face.  And Sasuke is distantly aware of the fact that he feels pride in being the reason for that. "I think I need to get you drunk more often."

Sasuke snorts. "I'm not drunk."  The buzz in his body and the vibration in his temple say otherwise.

"You'll love Hinata-chan's cooking," Naruto gleams. "I always tell her she could be a professional chef if she wanted to, it's amazing!  When you come over, we'll whip something up with tomatoes in it too, it'll be great!"

Sasuke smirks at this, and the world seemed to slow down for a moment, watching Naruto take the first real gulp of his liquor. His eyes move back to the nearly empty glass in front of him, outlining the fractions of light—distorted and aimlessly scattered. He can feel the smile leave his lips as much as it does his chest.

"She's not coming."

There's a pause, and Naruto says nothing now, merely taking another sip of his liquor.

"She's avoiding me," Sasuke realizes aloud. "She doesn't want to see me."  Something is scraping across his insides, dragging all his organs through his body and misplacing them between his bones.

"Hey now, I'm sure it's just the hospital, teme." Naruto says without any real conviction.

Sasuke shuts his eyes and grasps his head.  He doesn't bother dignifying Naruto's shitty excuse with a response. "I should've known." His voice is hoarse and he knows it’s not because of the burn of the alcohol. "She never responded to my letter." Sasuke lifts his gaze back up, looking beyond into the nothingness as he feels knives carve into him. "She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore."

"You sent her a letter?" Naruto asks. "What the hell! You never sent me anything!"

"She seemed fine before I left, I don't understand." Sasuke groans, quiet and loud at once.

"No, it's nothing like that. Sakura's just really dedicated to her patients, that's all," Naruto says with a frown. "Besides, she's never really liked the bar scene anyway. I'm sure she'll come next time."

"Something’s going on.  And you don't want to tell me." Sasuke pierces Naruto with a bold gaze, pathetically haughty and indignant for someone who isn’t sure which set of blurred blue eyes to set his own on.  "What is it?"  He’s somehow sober enough to see the wobble in Naruto’s frown, the tremble of his eye.  Sasuke feels his mouth twitch, body heavy, stomach knotting into itself because it's true and he fucking knew it!  His hand clenches into a trembling fist.  His desperation is starting to show, but he's too drunk to care.  "Why doesn't she want to see me?  Is it because I left for so long?  Is it because I didn't bring her with me?  Is she upset with me?"

Naruto tactfully tears away from his gaze, and he palms his glass between his hands, but he doesn't drink more and Sasuke knows why.  "Teme, calm down. It's nothing like that, she's just busy.  She'll see you, don't worry."

"Bull shit."

Naruto only sighs and his lack of response feels a slow death.   Naruto never bull shits like this.  Sasuke visualizes himself picking the knives out of his own body.  But then they’re full length swords taking its place, expertly serrated with her absence and his longing for home.  Impulsively, he chugs the rest of his alcohol down in attempt to melt the metal cutting into him.

"Is she s-seeing someone? Is that it?" Naruto flinches.  Panic ransacks his brain open and his voice is the most miserable and desperate warble he’s ever heard.  He feels the pangs again.  He wants to take his kunai and jam it into his left wrist, but he doesn’t have a left wrist anymore so he settles for moaning to his best friend.  "Tell her I don't care.  She's team 7.  That's all that matters.  She doesn't need to be mine, s'okay, I just nee—"

Naruto's resolve seems to grow. "Calm down.  She's not dating anyone, geez."  Sasuke is scratching the countertop.  "You're being fucking weird, teme."

"I'm not being weird," he says defensively.  He tries to get a grip on himself but his head is clogged and his body is falling asleep on him and Sakura isn't there with them. "Juss want to make sure she's okay."

"She's fine.  You're overthinking this."

"Then why won't she come see me?  Does it have to do with you? Are you—" He tries to eye him accusingly.  Because a crush was never just a crush when they were little.  Not with Sakura.  Not with him.  Maybe... "Are you—you’re having an affair with her?"

There's a loud crack of glass as Naruto slams his liquor down. "For fuck's sake, teme!" The jinchūriki snaps his head to his left, pinning Sasuke with an indignant glare. "If you weren't drunk as hell right now, I'd beat the shit out of you for that." The blonde exhales his anguish and turns away.  And Sasuke feels a harrowing guilt.  "Just relax, okay?  She's busy, but she wants to see you, alright? It's Sakura.  She's just busy."

Sasuke's head is a tightly wound balloon that's just been pricked.  His stomach is eating itself.  The room is spinning and the noise is too loud.  "Where is she right now?  What's her address?  I'll jus' go to her."

"Sasuke, stop."

"Fine. I'll—I'll leave a note, I won' even visit—Please—I just—"

"Sasuke." Naruto grounds out. "She'll see you.  Okay? I’ll make sure.  Now cut it out, you're freaking me the hell out over here."

Sasuke feels like he's going to die, but he knows better than to keep running his mouth because now he might lose Naruto too and his family is gone all over again.  Then there's something rising up in his stomach and he's craning his neck towards the left of his bar stool to vomit.

"Ack! Teme!"

Sasuke feels more bile slime up his throat and now he really wishes this awful alcohol was venom instead.  Esophagus burning and fingers shaking, he hacks it up and out.

Naruto sighs. "Dammit." He can vaguely hear the bartender screeching at them.  "C'mon, let's get you home."

[serahne]

SNS fanfiction - Stolen time

So I heard it was @bahare-uzuchiha‘s birthday and that you were feeling a little down lately, so I hope it’ll cheer you up. It’s also the last day for the #sns week and I wanted to do a little something since it’s all over my dash. Congratulation for your event, it’s amazing, and I’ve been seeing so much sns content on my dash, and everyone seems to have a lot of fun.

*

Sasuke had been back for two months when Kiba’s birthday forced Naruto and Sasuke in the same room together. Two months where the blond-haired boy had shown more skills as a ninja than he ever did, becoming incredibly good at avoiding Sasuke, or disappearing in such short amount of time that Sasuke never had the time to ask him what was going on with him exactly.

After chasing him for years, after all the crying, the screaming, after all the pain they had pull each other through, more than anyone sixteen-years old should ever have to face, Sasuke was finally back, and it was like Naruto didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. While he didn’t want to show that it affected him, Sasuke had still discreetly asked Sakura, during a visit at the hospital, if she knew something he didn’t. Herself was being particularly blunt and aggressive with him, in order to force the remain of the crush she had on him out of the room.

“I really, really don’t have the time to think about it” she said to him, while walking through the corridors hospital, so fast that she was almost running, checking the name of her next patient in the file she was holding. “I’m sure he will snap out of it one day or another and you’ll end up missing these peaceful days where he let you alone. Now, if you excuse me, I have a gangrenous leg to amputate, and I would appreciate you to leave.”

It was getting ridiculous. And it was the only reason Sasuke was going to Kiba’s party. Because he knew Naruto wouldn’t be able to avoid celebrating the birthday of his… best friend. Yes, for all his emotional speech about friendship, Sasuke wasn’t his best friend anymore, he supposed.

He didn’t know what to think about it. And honestly, he didn’t know what to think about a lot of things since he came back to the village. He came back because he had believed the beautiful - stupid, naive - words that came out of this idiot’s mouth. For once in his life, he had accepted to put himself between the hands of someone, to let go of the tight grip he had on himself, to finally trust someone to make something right, just for once in his life. So he came back, in this village where everyone hated him and where he hated everyone, hoping for something, anything.

And now he started to realize that this something wasn’t coming and coming back to Konoha looked everyday a little more like a mistake.

And he realized how much a mistake it was at Kiba’s party. The music was loud, everyone was drunk, everyone was dancing and laughing, and even if Ino and Shikamaru were trying to include him into their conversation, or push him to have some drink, he was just there, at the bar, watching Naruto talking to everyone, becoming always more inebriated, and not even throwing a glance in Sasuke’s general direction.

Alright, Sasuke thought bitterly. You don’t want to talk to me today. Alright, I guess I get it.

He took a deep breath, trying to come up with a decision. One part of his brain, the one he used to listen, was screaming at him to leave. The party, the village, that it had never been a place for an Uchiha anyway, and that it will never be. That it was better for him and everyone else to forget about the past of the village and live in a blissful happiness from now on and until the end of days. The other part, the one he had listened to when he had taken Naruto’s hand that day, when he had accepted to come back, was telling him to give him a last chance. That Naruto was an idiot and that if he kept ignoring him this way, he had to be the bigger person.

He played with his glass of juice, watching Naruto from afar. At some point, their eyes met and the blonde gave him a tentative smile from the other side of the room.

His smile. He could let a last chance to his smile.

“Naruto !” he called him, moving toward him while avoiding the crowd. “Can I talk to you for a minute ?”

Naruto looked at him, all wide-eyed and silent, and Sasuke hoped that he wasn’t that drunk that he couldn’t handle a conservation. After a few seconds, he shook his head and managed to use his voice to reply.

“Okay..” he said. “Is something wrong ?”

The worst thing was that he looked sincerely worried and Sasuke wanted to murder him. Was something wrong ? How could he even asked that after two months ?

“No,” he replied before gripping Naruto’s sleeve to pull him toward the bathroom. “I just want to talk.”

He closed the door behind them, and leaned against it with all his weight since it didn’t have a lock. The crude lightning of the bathroom was absolutely hideous, and the room was small and unwelcoming. It’d have to do, Sasuke decided.

“So,” he started. “How are you ?”

“How am I ?” repeated Naruto. “Uh, Sasuke, I’m fine, but you could ask me that outside, you know ?”

He was definitely avoiding his eyes, Sasuke noticed. He wasn’t cooperative at all and Sasuke could feel his patience run thin.

“I wanted to know what was going on between us” he explained. “I wanted to know why you were avoiding me.”

If he plays dumb, Sasuke thought. I’m out.

“Avoiding you ? I’m not avoiding you, ‘suke, I promise ! I was just very busy and…”

“Naruto” he hissed.

The blonde stopped talking. Sasuke felt his breathing quicken.

If he brushes off the conversation, he decided again, I’m out. For real, this time.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, okay ?” Naruto replied. “I’m drunk and I don’t want to be here with you when I’m drunk.” He laughed a little. “That’s just so not a good idea. Move from the door, bastard. I’m going back, I’m sure everyone is missing us.”

Missing you.

“Naruto” he repeated, with a note of desperation in his voice.

If you leave the room…

“Yes ?” Naruto was stubbornly looking at the door, behind Sasuke’s shoulder.

He bit his lower lip, trying to find something else, to force Naruto to say something, to do something, and how had this person managed to make all the right moves for years and was now giving up without a fighting, without even a reason, on them.

“... nothing” he said, resigned, and he moved away from the door. “I’m staying here for a while, have fun.”

He was a fighter, and a good one, but that was the kind of fight he couldn’t win and didn’t want to try to.

Naruto nodded and put a hand on the doorknob, ready to leave. Sasuke couldn’t help but watch him, barely breathing.

If you leave the room, I’m out.

Suddenly, Naruto slammed his head against the door, wood meeting wood with a flat, anti-climatic noise. Sasuke raised his eyebrows at the gesture.

“Dammit” he said, and then he looked at Sasuke, smiling at him, looking at him for the first time since they were in the room. “Hey, that’s the moment where you tell me that I just lost whatever remained of my neurons, you know.”

Sasuke offered him a pale smile in return and Naruto turned around, facing him, his cheeks flushed by the alcohol, he supposed.

“Alright” he started, talking more to himself than to Sasuke. “Aaaaah, I didn’t think it would come to this but I guess I have to spit it out, uh ? Sakura is going to kill me if I don’t tell you now…”

“Sakura ?” he repeated, remembering the young woman’s words at the hospital. “What does she have to do with you avoiding me ?”

“Nothing” Naruto said, running an embarrassed hand through his golden hair. “She is just perceptive and kind of… found out ?”

“Found out what, Naruto ?” Sasuke’s brain was running in wild places now, wondering what could be that serious that Sakura, Naruto’s friend who happened to be a medic-nin, knew about it, and was getting angry at him for not telling Sasuke. “Are you… sick ?” he tried.

Naruto made a face, like if he had swallowed something bad, like a vegetable that wasn’t into his ramen or something equally terrible, and for one second, Sasuke felt his heart fell in his chest because Naruto wasn’t denying and…

“Not in the way you think” he said, a sheepish smile on his face. “I’m not dying or anything. It’s not… man, Sasuke, I’m really going to have to say it, right ? I just feel so stupid sometimes.”

“Sometimes only ?” he replied, relief blooming in his stomach now that this hypothesis has been evacuated. “You’re generous with yourself.”

Naruto chuckled and slapped Sasuke’s arm, the first display of friendship in two months, since the hand-holding after their fight.

“Shut up ! I just don’t want you to run away, okay ? If you’re not interested, then fine, but no running !” he pointed his index in the other’s direction and Sasuke smirked at this oh-so-typically-drunk gesture.

“I’m listening” he said, looking Naruto expectantly.

Silence.

“Naruto”

“Fine, fine ! Just don’t think I’m something weird, okay ? It’s just something I bought like… six months ago ? I just saw it through the shop’s window and I thought it was nice so I bought it and I just keep it with me all the time and I just think about you a lot ? I should have said that before, you won’t understand if I don’t. I didn’t buy it for you… I mean I did but not really, I just thought about you at the moment and…”

He closed his mouth and looked at Sasuke nervously.

“Guess I should show you, aha. That’ll be… easier to explain.”

He put his hand inside the pocket of his jacket and took of two dark pieces of clothes, some sort of armbands. For some reason, this design said something to Sasuke but…

“Engagement bands ?” he whispered almost in awe, finally recognizing what it was. “The kind that Uchiha clan used ? That’s…”

And Naruto bought it six months ago. While thinking to Sasuke. To his shame, he felt his cheeks starting to burn him, but could be at least comforted by the fact that it was nothing compared to Naruto’s state right now.

“Ah.” Sasuke commented. “That’s unexpected.”

“That’s creepy” the other replied. “It’s fine, you can say it, Sakura said it, Tsunade said it, hell even Kiba said it. Even I say it’s creepy and I probably just overheated when I bought those and…”

Sasuke stopped listening to the blonde’s rambling, his own thoughts mixed together. Funny how he had wanted to confront Naruto for a closure, a kind of hint that it was over and he didn’t have a place in Konoha anymore but…

“Naruto” he ordered “stop moving.”

“Hum, what ?” Naruto asked. “Hey, bastard, I was trying to explain how lame I am so you could maybe-humpf”

As swiftly as possible considering the lack of room, Sasuke slid his hands behind Naruto’s head and kissed him, right on the lips, fierce and determined, eyes opens to not miss a single reaction. After a few seconds, he moved away from the other who was just standing here, mouth a little redder than before, and eyes ready to jump out of their orbits.

“You kissed me.”

“Well, I thought you couldn’t propose to me without us having our first kiss before, right ?” Sasuke replied, trying to keep his voice as cool and collected as ever and falling admirably.

“You kissed me” the other said again.

“Yes, I did.” Sasuke rolled his eyes hoping that the blonde’s brain will reconnect before the end of the party.

“I can’t believe my first kiss with you is in a bathroom, when I’m drunk and when I just showed you this totally-creepy thing that I bought.”

Sasuke tilted his head on the side, judging that Naruto was still out of it, bother because of the alcohol and the kiss.

“I had to work with what I had” he said, before leaning against Naruto’s ear, and whispering : “The next one is up to you, though, try to do something nicer.”

Then, his body still slightly shaking, he left the bathroom, letting out a sigh of relief. Outside, the party was still going on and he still didn’t want anything to do with any of these people who were having fun in the room.

But it could change, with time, he decided.

He had time, now.