#still struggling on values dude...

[hintako]

batch one of doodles! i haven't gotten the time to draw more fully fledged artworks but i can still do this!!

[flaming-toads]

Welp, my time has come y'all

[foxtrology]

sweet sweet baby (since you've been gone)

harry castillo x reader

series

warnings: no y/n, 28 year age gap, female reader.

The last time he had gone up to a woman was at a wedding reception and it ended terribly for him.

Lucy was her name.

He had thought she was the one. All the time they had spent together, all the nights he held her, it was all for nothing. In the end he was the one left behind while she and that broke fucking waiter—oh how much he hated that broke waiter with a fucking passion—ran off into the sunset all happily.

John.

John was his name. Living in a rundown studio apartment with a struggling college student as a roommate. Yeah, what a fucking life she decided to choose.

He still follows her on Instagram.

An Instagram she begged for him to have. He valued his privacy. Being a successful CEO had its perks but it also had his downsides. Privacy was a major downside. He's lucky if a week has gone by without The New York Times calling his office.

Something he should've done a long time ago was delete Instagram and move on from Lucy, but of course he loves to make things more difficult for himself.

19lucy89 has posted a photo!

He should've at least turn off the notifications notifying him of her posting but he couldn't do it. He still wasn't over her. Scrolling on the social media app had him scoffing.

She had posted a photo of her and that broke waiter kissing.

"Whiskey neat."

Harry slips his phone back into his pocket, thanking the bartender. Sliding off the barstool, he glances at all the couples around him. He rolls his eyes.

Since when is everyone fucking dating? Everywhere he goes it's always a couple canoodling. It pisses him off.

Getting back to his table, Danny slaps Harry on his back as he sits down. He cringes as the hand hits his back. He's always had back problems but never acknowledged them.

Not until Lucy. She made him start seeing a chiropractor.

But since she's out of his life, he has been ignoring his pains and ignoring his chiropractor’s calls. She didn't care anymore so why should he.

"Dude Vanessa and everybody are going to an afterparty—"

"Is this not an afterparty?" Harry furrows his brows, interrupting his partygoer friend.

Danny shakes his head playfully, scoffing. "Any excuse to continue drinking, am I right?"

He really didn't want to spend another hour at a party. He's 54 for god's sake, he done.

He's old. He's an old man.

He gets cranky if he doesn't go to sleep at a certain time, he gets aggravated when he pushes paperwork aside leaving it to the last minute, he hated pleasing his friends who have been trying to get him out more ever since the whole Lucy thing happened.

He's leaving, he wants to go home.

"I think I'll be heading—" Then his phone vibrating in his coat pocket stops him.

Maybe Lucy texted him?

Fuck he's so delusional.

"Actually I'm gonna head out. I have a lot of paperwork." Harry stands up, pulling out his phone.

Danny furrows his brows at his friend.

"But you didn't even touch your drink?"

Harry tells him he has liquor at his place, he can finish his drink at home, not here. He doesn't bother to say any goodbyes to any of his friends. They won't remember it anyways.

He hurriedly swipes open his phone as the cold air hits his face.

19lucy89 has added onto their stories!

Clicking onto her profile made him sick.

He should have deleted Instagram.

He should have blocked her.

But he wasn't strong enough.

She posted a video.

Though it wasn't just any other video. The video showed John on his left knee holding up a ring.

He was fucking proposing.

It was like his whole world came tumbling down.

He had never felt this sick in his life.

Harry used to hate the way rich people would talk about money. They used to say money isn't everything, how it doesn't solve anything and it isn't happiness.

He begged to differ.

He didn't grow up with much. His mother struggled especially.

She was sick and wasn't financially stable for treatment so she died.

He used to think that if they had money she would still be here.

He never told anyone about it. Never spoke about the situation, he always tried to ignore it. Until Lucy came around.

She was the only person he confided in. He cried in her arms.

He didn't understand how she could just leave so easily. He remembers the night she told him, they were in the kitchen when she spoke the truth about how she was still in love with John.

She had said that he was the one that got away and that they needed each other.

She packed up her clothes and left his penthouse.

And that was it.

And now he’s standing outside The Met at 54 years old, pathetically hung up on a woman who left him for some broke waiter in a studio apartment that probably has one fucking bathroom.

A couple bumping into him made him come back to earth. He mutters an apology for blocking the entrance.

Another fucking couple.

He shoves his phone into his pocket with too much force, rolling his shoulders as he takes the steps two at a time, the cold air biting against his skin.

Only Vanessa Garnier would throw a goddamn dinner party at The Met.

He needs to go home.

Needs to drink.

Needs to pretend he didn’t just witness the woman he once loved agreeing to marry a broke fucking waiter.

Harry is already pissed off as he stomps down the Met steps. He’s just trying to leave this godforsaken party, get home, and drown himself in whiskey while pretending he doesn’t care about Lucy’s engagement.

Then—he sees her.

She’s sitting on the steps wrapped up in her own world, scrolling her phone.

She’s alone. Not giggling into her phone like the socialites inside, not throwing herself at men with trust funds bigger than their personalities.

Just…sitting.

And for some reason, it annoys him.

"You’re in my spot."

It wasn't his spot but he was annoyed.

Maybe he was annoyed of seeing people who aren't miserable like him.

She barely looks up.

Just a quick flick of her eyes from her phone to the man standing in front of her, assessing him in a single glance before exhaling softly through her nose—unimpressed and unbothered.

That should have been the end of it.

But it wasn’t.

Since he was already irritated, already on edge, already a step away from either throwing his phone into the street or smashing it against the nearest wall—he stood there, waiting for a reaction that didn’t come.

Nothing.

No wide eyes.

No forced politeness.

No recognition.

Just a woman sitting on the steps of The Met, bathed in the soft glow of the city lights, scrolling through her phone like he wasn’t even there.

His jaw ticked.

"Did you hear me?"

She sighed—actually sighed—as if he was the one disturbing her.

Well he kind of was.

Finally, she lifted her head, phone still in her hand, her gaze settling on him with all the enthusiasm of someone being asked to do a survey on the street.

"Yeah. I heard you."

His brow furrowed. He waited.

She didn’t move.

Didn’t shift.

Didn’t apologize.

Didn’t give him an inch of what he was used to—deference, nervous laughter, people scrambling to please him just because of who he was.

Instead, she blinked once slow and deliberate before tilting her head slightly to the side.

"Pretty sure the city owns these steps."

Harry clenched his teeth.

Of course.

Of course, he’d have to deal with this tonight.

This was not his night.

This was not his fucking night.

He didn’t even know why he was still standing there, why he hadn’t just turned and left. He should be in his car by now, should be halfway home with a drink already in his hand.

But for some reason he wasn’t.

For some reason he sat down instead.

A slow, deliberate movement. A shift of his coat as he lowered himself onto the step beside her, his knee brushing against the fabric of her own red coat as he exhaled sharply.

Her brow lifted slightly, her grip on her phone tightening for a moment as if she was considering whether to acknowledge his presence or simply ignore him altogether.

She settled on the latter.

Good.

Fine.

He didn’t want to talk anyway.

Harry leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, staring out at the street with the same burning resentment that had been sitting in his chest since he walked out of that party.

Another fucking couple passed by.

Laughing. Whispering. Holding hands like they were the only two people in the world.

His grip tightened around his knee. His mouth pressed into a firm thin line.

He should be at home.

He should be anywhere but here.

Instead, he was sitting on the cold steps of The Met beside a stranger who didn’t care that he was Harry fucking Castillo.

He scoffed.

The sound must have been louder than he intended, because this time—she looked at him.

Actually looked at him.

Not just a glance. Not just a flicker of vague recognition before returning to her phone.

No—she studied him, just for a second.

And then…the corner of her mouth twitched.

Not a smile. Not exactly. But close enough.

Close enough for something inside of him to tighten, for his stomach to knot in that irritating way he didn’t like.

She turned back to her phone.

"Rough night?"

He huffed out a sharp breath, shaking his head adjusting his tie even though it wasn’t loose.

"Something like that."

She hummed. Hummed. Like she wasn’t even surprised.

Like she already knew that about him.

Like she had already figured him out.

His teeth clenched.

She didn’t know him.

She didn’t know anything about him.

"What?" His voice was sharper than intended.

She barely reacted. Just tapped her thumb against her screen, scrolling absentmindedly before murmuring

"Nothing."

But it wasn’t nothing.

It was something.

It was definitely fucking something.

Harry exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of his exhaustion settle deeper into his bones.

This night was never going to end, was it?

For a few seconds, neither of them spoke.

The sounds of the city hummed around them. Car horns. Distant conversations. The occasional roar of an engine as someone sped down Fifth Avenue.

And then—

"You gonna sit here all night?"

Harry turned his head slightly, catching the amused glint in her eyes as she finally looked at him again.

"Depends," he muttered. "You gonna move?"

She smirked. "Nope."

He exhaled.

Rolled his shoulders.

Ignored the way something unsettled was shifting in his chest.

"Guess I’m staying, then."

And for the first time in a long time—he didn’t mind.

That realization alone should have pissed him off. Should have made him get up, adjust his coat, and leave like he had originally planned.

But he stayed.

The cold air pressed against his skin, sneaking beneath his collar, curling around his fingers where they rested against his knee. The whiskey from earlier still burned slightly in the back of his throat, though it wasn’t enough, not nearly enough, to settle the restless storm churning inside his chest.

The silence stretched.

Not an uncomfortable one, surprisingly. But an unfamiliar one.

People didn’t let silence sit with him. They filled it, rushed to fix it, scrambled to find something clever or charming or useful to say because people who sat next to him were always trying to get something from him.

The woman sitting next to him, scrolling through her phone like he wasn’t even there. Like he was just another insignificant part of the city.

That part should have pissed him off.

But it didn’t.

It intrigued him.

He tilted his head slightly, just enough to catch the faint reflection of her screen. Not because he cared what she was looking at—he didn’t—but because he needed a distraction. Any distraction.

A taxi app.

She was waiting for a ride.

She was leaving.

Good.

Great.

That meant he wouldn’t have to sit here much longer, wouldn’t have to keep pretending like this wasn’t some strange, unexplainable moment in his otherwise predictable night.

He could go home, pour himself a drink, scroll through Lucy’s Instagram like a fucking idiot, and pretend he wasn’t still furious.

But—

He didn’t want her to leave.

Not yet.

Not before he figured out why the hell he was still sitting here.

Not before he figured out why she wasn’t miserable like him.

His gaze flicked to her hands, the way she tapped at her screen absentmindedly like she wasn’t in a hurry, wasn’t anxious about the time, wasn’t dreading the ride home.

He wanted to ask where she was going.

He didn’t.

Instead, he spoke before he thought.

"Where do you live?"

She didn’t react at first.

Just kept scrolling.

Then without looking up.

"That’s a weird thing to ask a stranger."

Harry exhaled through his nose, shaking his head slightly.

"You’re waiting for a cab."

Finally, she turned to him, brow raised. "And?"

He rolled his shoulders, voice even. "I’ll take you home."

A beat of silence.

Then—

She laughed.

Not a giggle. Not a polite chuckle. A real, unfiltered laugh.

Like he’d just told the funniest joke in the world.

Harry’s expression did not change.

"I wasn’t joking."

That just made her laugh harder.

She shook her head, lips twitching as she locked her phone and slid it into her pocket, finally—finally—giving him her full attention.

"You, a man who I met ten minutes ago, are offering to take me home."

Harry blinked, unfazed.

"Yes."

"In your car?"

"Yes."

She exhaled, shaking her head again.

"This is the part where I ask if you're a serial killer."

He smirked, dry and humorless. "Would a serial killer offer?"

"Maybe a dumb one."

He scoffed. "Do I look dumb to you?"

She considered him for a moment. Then—

"A little bit."

Harry almost smiled.

Almost.

Instead, he sighed adjusting the sleeve of his coat as he stared out at the street again.

"Look, I don’t care where you live. I don’t care what you do. And I don’t care if you take the cab or not. But it’s late and I have a driver waiting." He paused. "Take the ride. Or don’t."

She studied him for a moment.

Not like the people at the party, not like the women who assessed him as a prize, a trophy, a walking investment.

No, she was studying him like she was still trying to figure out if he was serious.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why offer?"

Harry clenched his jaw.

Good question.

Why had he?

Because he was restless.

Because he didn’t want to be alone.

Because he wasn’t ready for the night to end.

But he didn’t say any of that.

Instead he said, "Because I can."

She hummed at that, something unreadable passing over her face.

Then to his absolute fucking surprise

She stood.

Pulled her coat tighter around herself.

Looked down at him with a grin.

"Lead the way, then."

The Maybach was parked at the curb, sleek and expensive and definitely out of place for a random stranger sitting on museum steps.

His driver, James barely batted an eye when Harry pulled open the door and gestured for her to get in first.

She hesitated.

Just for a moment.

And then—

She slid into the seat like she did this every day.

Harry followed, closing the door behind them.

James glanced at him through the rearview mirror, silent, waiting.

Harry exhaled, glancing at her.

"Where to?"

She gave him a look.

"Aren't you supposed to be a gentleman and ask for my name first?"

He huffed. "You never asked for mine."

"Because I don’t care."

His lips twitched. "Then why get in the car?"

She leaned back against the leather seat, legs crossed, gaze flicking out the window.

"Because I wanted to see if you'd actually do it."

Harry shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he gave James the silent cue to start driving.

This was insane.

He should have just gone home.

Should have just let her take the damn cab.

But now—he was in a car with a woman who didn’t care who he was, nor his money, didn’t even seem remotely fazed by the fact that she was sitting in a million dollar car with a man who could buy out half the city.

And for the first time all night...

Lucy’s engagement didn’t feel like the worst thing that had happened to him.

The car pulled away from the curb, merging smoothly into the flow of late night Manhattan traffic. The soft hum of the engine filled the space between them, a quiet luxury that most people would have fawned over.

But not her.

She wasn’t running her fingers over the leather seats, wasn’t sneaking glances at him, wasn’t pretending to be indifferent while stealing curious looks.

She just stared out the window, completely at ease.

Harry tilted his head slightly, studying her side profile.

"You still haven’t told me where you live."

She blinked, turning back to him, almost as if she’d forgotten he was even there.

"Oh. Right." She exhaled, stretching her arms slightly before dropping them into her lap. "I’ll just have your driver drop me off at the corner of—"

"Not James." His voice was firm, sharp in a way he didn’t expect.

She raised a brow.

"What?"

"Tell me."

A slow smirk curled at her lips, amusement flickering in her gaze.

"Are you always this controlling?"

"Are you always this difficult?"

Her smirk widened slightly, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she turned to the front of the car.

"Excuse me, take me to—"

"Don’t talk to my driver."

She whipped her head back to him, eyes narrowing. "Excuse me?"

"He’s not your driver."

She let out a small, sharp laugh, shaking her head.

"You’re serious?"

"Very."

She rolled her eyes, but there was something else there, something interested.

She sighed, crossing her arms, "Fine. Since you clearly need to be the one in control, Lower East Side."

He barely nodded before shifting his gaze back toward the front.

James, wordlessly, made a turn.

For a while, neither of them spoke.

Harry leaned back against his seat, stretching out his legs, exhaling slowly as the tension from earlier in the night settled into something quieter.

The city moved past them in streaks of light, taxis cutting through traffic, pedestrians still wandering the streets like the night would never end.

She stayed turned toward the window, her fingers mindlessly tapping against her knee.

The silence should have been comfortable.

But it wasn’t.

Not for him.

Because he was still thinking.

Thinking about Lucy. Thinking about how stupid he felt for still checking her Instagram. Thinking about how much he hated the feeling of losing.

But also—thinking about her.

This woman.

This stranger who got into his car without a second thought, who didn’t care about his money, who didn’t care about him.

That part was what unsettled him the most.

Because he was used to being recognized. Used to being admired, envied, feared.

But she?

She was just here.

Like he was just another man.

Like he wasn’t anything at all.

And for some reason—he wasn’t sure he hated that.

She broke the silence first. "So, what’s your deal?"

Harry exhaled, rolling his head to the side slightly.

"My deal?"

"Yeah." She waved a hand vaguely. "You seem miserable."

"You say that like it’s an observation."

"It is."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "Maybe I just don’t like parties."

"Nope."

He arched a brow.

"No?"

"Not just parties. Life."

Harry’s jaw tightened. "Bold assumption."

"Accurate assumption."

His gaze flicked toward her, sharp, assessing.

She met it without hesitation.

For a long moment, neither of them spoke.

Then she shrugged.

"Look, I don’t know what rich guy problems you have but you were sitting on those steps like someone had either ruined your life or just rejected your marriage proposal."

Harry stilled.

His fingers twitched slightly against his knee, his pulse slow, heavy.

She didn’t know how close she was.

How dangerously fucking close.

She didn’t know about Lucy. About the proposal he never got to make. About much time he spent believing he was enough only to realize that he wasn’t.

She didn’t know anything.

But she still saw right through him.

And that?

That pissed him off.

"Maybe I just wanted some fresh air." His voice was clipped, sharp.

"Sure." She smirked, looking out the window again. "And maybe I’m a billionaire, too."

Harry inhaled, slow and deep, rolling his head back against the seat, eyes flickering up toward the roof of the car.

"You’re insufferable."

"So I’ve been told."

For a moment, it was quiet again.

Then—

"Was it a girl?"

His brow furrowed.

"What?"

"The reason you were brooding." She tilted her head slightly. "Was it a girl?"

His fingers clenched.

She smirked.

"It was, wasn’t it?"

He clenched his jaw.

"Not everything is about a woman."

"I never said it was." She lifted a shoulder. "You just confirmed it, though."

Harry exhaled sharply, rubbing a hand over his face.

This was insane.

She was insane.

Why was he even still talking to her?

Why hadn’t he just dropped her off and left?

"I don’t do small talk." His voice was firm.

"Good. Me neither."

Then—silence.

Not uncomfortable.

Not forced.

Just…there.

The car slowed as they reached her street.

She shifted slightly, sitting up, unfastening her seatbelt as James pulled over.

For a second, Harry felt something strange.

Something he didn’t want to name.

She reached for the door handle, but before she could push it open—

"Wait."

She paused.

Glanced back at him. Brows lifted, waiting.

Harry swallowed.

"Let me take you to dinner."

Silence.

Her head tilted, lips curving up at the corners. "Are you asking or telling?"

"Does it matter?"

She smirked.

"I guess not."

She pushed the door open, stepping out into the cold.

Harry watched her go, watched as she turned, hands stuffed into her pockets, eyes unreadable as she met his gaze one last time.

Then—

"If you find me again, maybe I’ll say yes."

And just like that—

She was gone.

Harry sat there for a long moment.

Watched the empty space where she had been.

Felt the quiet weight of something new settle over him.

And for the first time in years, he found himself hoping—

That he’d see her again.

And knowing, somehow—

That he would.

[little-one-eyed-monsters]

Hot take (from a media nerd): How companies manipulate BL shipping behavior, or how ZaintSee became The Messiest Branded Couple in Asian Queer Media

Gosh, remember when Saint and Zee were a thing? 😅

If you don't (or do), then dude do I have a tale for you.

First, a few disclaimers:

This post wasn't made to generate any hate for Saint, Zee, or their new branded partners. I'm a big fan of them both, and in fact, I'm trying to do the opposite-- I want to absolve them of the hate caused by their companies' efforts to pit them against each other. Their case is unique because it really does seem like they had no intention of destroying the genuine friendship they built over the course of filming, unlike other ships whose struggles were more between the actors than their brands. Look at Saint and Zee here on a night out with Win Metawin in March 2025:

This doesn't look like two people who are actively trying to bring each other down. But because Mandee and Idol Factory have been on each other's throats since 2020 (let's mix GMMTV in there for extra credit), ZaintSee is the unfortunate winner of the messiest BL ship title.

So let's begin.

Branded shipping is a sticky affair. And this is not unique to the BL industry. In Asian media, creating loveteams (branded pairs) for heterosexual couples is a surefire way to get a solid fanbase, and generate sales. Money for productions, money for tickets, money for merch-- all of these come from consumers who patronize the product. In the eyes of the media conglomerates, this is a symbiotic relationship: they give the fans what they want, and fans pay for that privilege. Everyone is entertained, everyone is taken care of. Easy.

This is not the case for the actors themselves however, who ARE the product in this scenario. Sure, they're paid big money for the trouble, but in each work comes the strings of following the fans' and the companies' whims. Quoting Thai-Aussie actor Perth Nakhun's thoughts on the matter during a YT live: "I had to do what I'm told and say what they wanted me to say at all times. I felt like a dance monkey."

Dance monkeys are cheap, plastic windup toys in Asia, usually in the shape of a monkey holding drums or maracas, which moves once its owner activates a mechanism. Without the mechanism (and without the attention of its owner), the monkey lays dead.

But there is one aspect of branded pair culture that is unique to BL and nowhere else. Here, companies actually control the "narrative" of their ship--how they met, how they interact, how they present themselves to the public. And yes, even how they fight. This in turn, shapes shipping culture.

In Western Music, Hollywood, Bollywood, and even in K-Media, FANS dictate the success of an actor (and this is why cancel culture is such a big deal). Even if a Hollywood conglomerate tries its best to push for the success of an actor through visibility and brand deals, if fans see no value in said talent, then the actor falls flat. But if a talent is BELOVED, no company narrative (or any narrative for that matter) can break fans' support of their artist. Look at convicted criminals like Chris Brown, Danny Trejo or Robert Downey Jr., or the accused talents in the Burning Sun Scandal in Korea. Sure, their popularity takes a hit, but their loyal fans never seem to go away. They, as a product, still sell no matter what.

But in Asian BL, no matter how popular the product may be, once the conglomerates decide to freeze you out of their circle, then it seems fans can do nothing about that. They'd have to start from scratch, or leave the industry entirely.

BL actors who've acknowledged this phenomenon and have spoken out about it: Perth Nakhun, Lay Talay, and half of the original cast of My Engineer, Fluke Natouch (UWMA), Toptap Jirakit (2gether), Mek Jirakit (Star and Sky, My Stand-In), Ohm Pawat (Bad Buddy. Kidnap)

I have not included actors who admitted to/ were proven guilty of a crime and left the industry because of it.

Branded pairs run through the same fate. Never believe the press releases where actors claim that the ship's dissolution is an amicable "choice": these ships die an unnatural death either because companies are making way for new pairs, they're pushing the actor for a more solo direction, or they're asking actors to do something so out-of-pocket that the actors themselves cannot stomach it. Companies control the narrative.

Let's use ZaintSee as an example. From the get-go, Domundi was controlling their origin story.

Domundi TV is a talent agency founded by manager-turned-producer-and-director Aoftion Kittipat. It started out as a company that primarily hires models for advertisements and short-form acting projects, before Aoftion realized how much money can be generated from these hunky male models interacting with their fangirls. In the tradition of the YT algorithm of the early 2010s, DomundiTV started out as a prank channel (with some TRULY childish and sexually criminal pranks that would bite them in the ass years down the line), then a vlog channel, before Aoftion looked out into the horizon (the comments) and saw that the fangirls were starting to ship their talents... WITH each other.

This was around the time Joss Wayar jumped ship to GMMTV, and I never in a million years would have predicted that he would do BL willingly, because speculations rose that he left because he was being shipped with his friend, Zee Pruk. Aoftion then allegedly saw Love By Chance and Tharntype, had a discussion with BL writer-turned-producer Mame Orawan, and realized that he too could make money off of BL. So he set his eyes on the one person that started all this hype: Zee.

Zee, allegedly, was Saint Suppapong's biggest fanboy

According to Zee himself, a few years back, when Domundi was doing small time modeling gigs for a Thai channel, they ran into Kissboys TH, Saint's former idol group. He said Saint caught his eye because of how handsome he looked, and how accommodating he was to the cast and crew. Zee asked for a photo, they took one, and it allegedly became Zee's phone wallpaper for a while. Saint, for his part, claims he doesn't remember Zee or that interaction at all, and that his first memory of Zee was when Domundi TV asked him to audition for Why R U?.

Aoftion and the other Domundi members claim that Zee wasn't just a fanboy tho. In interviews, they said that Zee was absolutely ENAMORED with Saint. He allegedly had a crush the minute Saint talked to him at that Kissboys promotion, and he's been crushing ever since.

Aoftion said that when he opened the idea of shooting BLs with Zee and asked him who he could partner with, Zee immediately asked for Saint. DMD members Park and Poppy revealed during cast interviews that Zee would often attend Saint's solo fanmeets and mall shows, and had Saint's songs saved in his playlists. To be fair to this narrative, fans documented this phenomenon, too. Zee was photographed attending Love By Chance fanmeets in 2018, and Saint's solo fanmeets in 2019.

When they started filming, he would still attend Saint's solo activities, allegedly without Saint knowing until after the event. Here he is next to Saint's mom, circa 2019:

And in a now-deleted vlog posted by DMD where Zee and Saint toured Zee's house prior to the airing of Why R U?, Zee's mom recognized Saint as "the beautiful boy from your poster", verifying that yes, Zee had merch of Saint in his bedroom. Here's the only snippet I could find of that moment now:

And as you can tell, this whole origin story of a fanboy who got lucky was ALL OVER THAI MEDIA

In fact, it was the biggest selling-point of Why R U?. It also helped dispel the bad press surrounding Saint, whose WRU press tour coincided with that of Love By Chance Season 2: A Chance to Love. The first season of that show had Saint as the lead, but removed his character completely by the second season, as Studio WabiSabi producers claimed Saint turned the role down. Saint then clarified in interviews that he was never invited back at all, and how thankful he was that Zee requested him for Why R U?. Point for Domundi, Zero for WabiSabi.

As we know now, the pandemic brought about the first renaissance of Thai BL. As fans consumed more of this media, and since there were very few BLs airing at the time, its stars became bonafide superstars. Domundi made sure Zee and Saint would stand out from their competition.

Domundi introduced the first concept of "versatile" BL pairs: hence the ship spelling ZaintSee, and their fandom name Cactuzs.

No top or bottom discourse here. Combining the letters showed that both partners were at equal footing-- in bed, in their roles, in their interactions. This was also intentional on the part of their managements, to ensure that none in the pair get preferential fan treatment (some fans prefer the masculinity of the tops, or the femininity of the bottoms. In this equation, there's nothing to discern them).

And this novelty actually worked. ZaintSee got featured in the biggest brand deals:

They were even featured on Woody's show, a bigtime talkshow in Thailand:

But Domundi noticed a worrying trend. It seemed Saint was getting MORE ATTENTION than their talent, Zee.

This was around the time Saint was invited as a replacement host for Tpop Stage Show, a very popular music program in Thailand, less than a year after Why R U?'s official press run ended. Domundi took this opportunity as a threat and immediately went into the offensive: in a worrying interview on WRU Director P'Cheewin's channel (that I can only find snippets of now on X since Cheewin also deleted it, dear God), Aoftion admitted that he thinks Saint's management is intentionally leaving Zee out of projects despite their commitment to a two-year branded pair deal.

This was NEWS to BL fans, who weren't aware that branded pairs also enter into ship and fanservice contracts BEYOND their series run.

Saint's manager Chen had to do a press release admitting to the contract's existence, and denying that Saint or their management ever broke that agreement. Saint had to apologize for whatever discomfort they may have caused the fans and Domundi.

But Domundi was on a warpath already.

They refused to pay Saint his royalties for Why R U? (a fact Saint himself alluded to in interviews), rebranded to Mandee Works and DELETED the show on their YT page, stopped production of the boxsets, delayed merch deliveries, terminated couple activities with brands, and BLAMED SAINT for all of it.

Saint has always been a media darling, because he's been in the industry far longer than Zee (or even Domundi) has. He knows that talking to reporters and engaging with fans is the best way to boost his popularity, but that doesn't mean Saint has had the proper media training to actually do it. Because the BL industry, and Saint himself, was so young at the time, there were certain things that Saint really should've just kept out of the public.

By the end of 2020-early 2021, Zee was allegedly instructed by Domundi to stop engaging with Saint beyond their remaining brand projects. This means Zee also had to stop replying to Saint's messages. Saint unfortunately revealed this during one of his solo appearances, when a fan asked him where Zee was and Saint asked the fan (jokingly) to tell Zee to reply to him. He apologized for this (hence the interview and transcript in the tweet above, but again Domundi took this opportunity to further alienate Saint and RAN with it.

Aoftion went on a press conference to claim that Saint has been disparaging Zee all along in his interviews, with stories of Zee never paying attention to the show or its adjacent projects, always sleeping on set and never being on time (stories that were shared jokingly by ALL cast and crew as a way to prove that they had fun on set and were genuinely close), and now claiming that Zee doesn't reply to him when he in fact, does. Zee went on to clarify that he and Saint only talk in a professional capacity, and in truth, were not that close.

Which, YIKES. What were these texts and inside jokes then? Also scripted?

But I do not blame Zee. At the end of the day, actors are employees of their company, just like the average salaryman. You do what the company tells you to do.

The thing is, ZaintSee had a LARGE fandom

A large and organized fandom even, which successfully trended projects and ran merch drops, meetups and donation drives. During the pandemic, the Cactuzs fandom was able to conduct a semi-regular donation campaign for victims of the virus and other natural calamities in Saint and Zee's name. They opened ZaintSee themed cafès and secured merch deals for their ship. They even successfully pressured Tom Isara and Saint's management to include Zee in the MV for Why R U's Is This Love (where Zee just stood there and looked pretty 😅):

The fandom was very well-organized, but when the NARRATIVE of in-fighting between the production companies surfaced, the once-strong group really couldn't do anything in the face of it. To be fair, Saint's management, also ran their own smear campaign against Domundi:

You'd think fans this many would be able to come together to sustain a ship with the loveliest origin story, genuine chemistry, and a friendship they've built for over a year, but sadly they couldn't.

Because in the end, COMPANIES dictate shipping behavior. They asked the fans to choose a side, and so the fans did.

The irony isn't lost on me that Zee's current brand partner Nunew could pass off as Saint's younger brother.

They don't look the same of course, but the similarities are present. It doesn't help that Aoftion followed the same origin story in reverse for ZeeNunew-- that Nunew was a fan of Zee and that Nunew allegedly auditioned for Mandee with the hopes of acting with Zee.

This is the primary reason why, though I do respect the fact that both Zee and Nunew have repeatedly confirmed that they ARE actually dating, there's the smallest voice in my head pinging alarm bells and saying that they ran the same narrative with Saint and Zee:

Though please understand ZeeNunew fans that though I am a skeptic at heart, I am quite straightforward in my stance here. If they say they're dating, then they are until proven otherwise.

All this to say, that though we fans would like to believe that we have power over these companies and ships, and that we can demand for their longevity, in the end, they're the ones who lord over the content we actually consume.

But there is one power we currently hold, that they cannot take away from us: PATRONAGE.

We cannot dictate their actions and motives, but we CAN control the content we actually consume. If we refuse to swallow garbage, then they'll be forced to give us something better.

In the case of Saint and Zee, if fans REFUSED to believe that Saint and Zee were out here trying to destroy each other's careers, if we had just refused to accept the narrative and supported them equally, whether in music or in their shows, they might've been able to collaborate again.

If we reject the narrative that branded pairs should stay together 24/7, and produce content related to their pair only, then maybe we could've saved ships like OhmNanon and BrightWin.

If we didn't patronize excessive fanservice and engage in the overspeculation of BL pairs, we could've seen a third series for MaxTul and MewGulf.

If Chinese censorship didn't--- um, you know what, that's a can of worms I don't ever want to touch 😅 But I think you get the picture.

Let me close this off by saying that I worry for the New Gen pairs

This blog post was actually inspired by the ZeeNunew fans beefing with SmartBoom fans on X. The bitchfight is reminding me of the many, many fanwars that erupted when BrightWin fans directly clashed with ZaintSee. Look at where we all are now, eh? All sunken in the Pacific ocean, while Zee, Saint and Win all have dinner at a resto in Bangkok. Wonderful for them, actually. I'm so happy Zee and Saint's friendship was able to withstand all that crap.

In other news, SmartBoom is ~worryingly~ following the same trajectory as ZaintSee now that I think about it. I sincerely hope they go the UpPoom route rather than the ZaintSee one, otherwise the cautionary lessons of their debut show are lost on the industry and its fans.

[cozmikvi]

Hey. You. Yes, You. Did you know there are ways to support your local punk scene without having to go to live shows.

now, I know the best thing to do when supporting bands is to show up to their shows, however, If you are socially awkward, people stress you out, if you got insane anxiety, or if youre a parent and work 2 jobs to survive, YOU ARE STILL PUNK. YOU ARE STILL AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE SCENE, if you use some of these little tips and tricks.

attend a show if possible ONLY when you can, even if you dont know who is playing, but always bring a friend who is a comfort post to lean on.

Find local artists through socials. Every single music venue around you has Insta/Facebook/Twitter/TikTok, and if they are awesome Bluesky/Tumblr, If you find a punk/harcore adjacent band flyer. SPREAD THE LOVE. share em around get more eyes on it, tag the venue and every artist listed, help them get people who can attend shows, Do some listen along content highlighting said bands and point your audience to the shows and their socials

Speaking of spreading the love. If artists around have any flyers made on socials, download the image, print/trace it, Make hundreds of those bad boys and put them up where the hell ever you want. IRL eyes attract IRL attention, and IRL attendance, and its a major fuck you to algohell.

BUY THEIR SHIT. So you found a small band that sound fucking awesome, They got bandcamp? Buy a single, Patreon? 1 month donation, Merch market? Get a shirt or Patch.

Make. A. Zine. They are STTUUUUPID SIMPLE, like mad easy and super fun. Dont gotta be this artistic masterpiece, just make a lil collection of doodles and essays and poems, List local shows, bands, socials for the bands, donation links, political activism, The world is your toilet, so throw some shit around!

Are you yourself an artist? See above, but also, DM local bands offer your services, Flyers, Album art, Logo design, stickers, shirts, DIY shit is awesome and if you got some design and drawing talent, [i know you do dont doubt yourself] bands make music, thats really it, some if not most arent fluent in other mediums, lighten the load, trust me, theyll love it.

Lastly; Dont sweat the dipshits. People online are legion. Lots of conformists or true scottsmans all over the damn place, If some slackjaw cishet [yes its mostly dudes, almost always against femmes in the scene] dingus is givin you shit for "nOt bEiNg pUnK eNoUgH" tell that dipshit to go fuck himself, its a much better use of both of your times. Dont listen to every lil tiktok rando, or annoying tumblrite, If you are punk, if you have punk values, if you are doin shit. Fuck em. Keep livin life, and struggle on, cuz for every dipshit chirper, there are thousands of awesome and cool peeps who are waaayyy worth your attention.

punk is a beautiful community full of talented people and unfortunately in an internet age, the most toxic and immature aspects are brought to the limelight, it is up to us as a community and individuals within, to not bother with this garbage, Putting people down, especially if they might be disabled, or anxious, or femme, or just "not cool enough for you", Is not "Supporting the scene" Youre just being a dick. To all the baby punks out there, Have fun, Struggle well, Stay Safe, Dont Die.

If you got anymore awesome tips, put em in the tags, scream em to your cat, tell a friend, share it, spread the love,

[akanemnon]

Could i get some help with writing flowey?

I REALLY want to start writing that dude

Since i do have the idea of an AU in mind. It's flowey having Alexithymia/anhedonia.

It's a mental disorder that causes the person to have difficulty feeling or expressing feelings. I found about the mental disorder and really wanted to write flowey with it

He'll go to the surface with frisk

Character development will ensue

And things will heal. His inner child, and the scars.

They won't be completely gone. But he'll at least be better

He'll still be a bit more like flowey, still a bit of a brat, but it's mostly just him being playful/light hearted

Frisk will be a mental support of sorts for him

Ok, I'm rambling a bit.

But i do need help with writing him

Olz i request assistance.

I think the best and most reasonable advice I can give you is that you should be careful when portraying mental illnesses. It is an incredibly delicate subject. Even if you do tons of research on the matter, the chance is very high that your protrayal might be inaccurate. Picture someone who is not familar with it, and your portrayal is their first indroduction to it. Or someone who is very much familar with what you are writing reads it and sees that is not at all what you are trying to portray. It could lead to these very real people being affected negatively by your words.

You can write characters struggling with their life. You can write them having troubles expressing themselves and showing emotion. You don't need to give these struggles a name. Because these struggles don't need to come from a disorder. A disorder doesn't define you. Everyone has a different way of handling these struggles. One person with anxiety might be bad around people, one might be bad in high-stakes situations, but they BOTH have anxiety, right?

When writing a character, write everything that encompasses that character first and foremost. Not their disorder. It's not a checklist that you go through. Because that would be definining a person by their disability. A character is so much more than that. Just let that character be themself.

Imagine a scenario in your head. Any scenario. Try to think about how your character would act and react in said scenario.

For example: Kris and Frisk are baking a pie. Since Kris knows how to bake, they are following the steps their mom taught them. But because Kris is Kris, they're calling tools by the wrong name, tape a stick to a fork to make a whisk, or are playing around with the ingedients. Anything to make Frisk laugh. But since Frisk was taught by Undyne, they take everything Kris says at face value. They are also referring to these tools by the wrong name, because Kris said it and Kris knows what they're doing, so why would they lie? And you kinda go from there. Where it ends up only you know, but if you have the characters be themselves then the whole scenario almost plays out by itself.

It's kinda like playing D&D with yourself! You roleplay these characters in your mind . That's pretty much how I write characters at least. Now, that's probably not how everyone does it, but it at least works for me.

Wish you lots of luck with your AU. And please, I implore you to be careful if you do decide to commit portraying what you asked about!

[anyothercomments]

“S3 rayla would never” “arc 1 raylum would never have turned out like this”

Arc 2 raylum were what- 14 yrs old? S7 raylum r 16/17 ? Ur telling me that you think that two teenagers who are going to experience more trauma than most adults have to face, break up for 2ish years, go through another serving of trauma and get back together are gonna act the exact same way? Are going to interact the exact same way with each other and their loved ones? Are going to have the exact same values and insecurities?

S1 rayla hated her parents for abandoning the dragon queen, had a strained relationship with runaan where her self worth was constantly reliant on his approval, had never left xadia before and was convinced she was meant to be an assasin

S7 rayla has mourned 2 of her parents twice, one of them once. Has had to choose which to keep living. Has been banished from her home for 2 years. Banished herself from society for 1 ish year. Has killed a person. Has met humans. Has fought in wars.

S1 callum had like 3 friend, was constantly belittled, had 0 self esteem and lived an extremely sheltered life, feeling like an imposter the entire time as the orphan step prince.

S7 callum has found magic and rayla and wouldnt sacrifice them for anything - his relationship with both things sometimes manifests in unhealthy ways and he ends up selfishly prioritising the wrong thing some times but he’s a 17 yr old boy so that’s to be expected. He had an actual support system and whilst he still struggles with his self esteem, he’s overcome a lot of his imposter syndrome.

(Also may i just say why is everyone so anti callum wanting kids? Dude says a hypothetical about how interracial babies turn out differently and all of a sudden his character’s been ruined? So what if he actually wanted 10 kids? Doesnt mean he and rayla cant still both be the best mage and warrior the continent has ever seen before or whilst they have kids? )

And you mean to tell me you expect s7 rayla to have the exact same fears and insecurities as s1 rayla? To interact with her loved ones in the same way? To prioritise them the same? She has changed- for better or for worse. It’s ok to disagree with the way they wrote her but it gets on my nerves when people say “oh she wouldnt do that in s3”.

You mean to tell me that as a teen you never prioritised friends over family? You were perfectly emotionally adjusted and never made selfish decisions that meant you let a sibling down? That callum’s all of a sudden irredeemably evil because he decided to support rayla when he really should’ve stayed and helped ezran work through his emotions?

You mean to tell me that 17 year old you adamantly stands by all of your actions at 14 and has the exact same relationships with all your most important people? Cus if you do you were either a very emotionally mature 14 yr old or you were an incredibly immature 17 year old.

All of that to say that holding arc 2 raylum to arc 1 rayllum standards is just weird to me. They’ve both changed- for better or for worse- and if they had the exact same relationship after all that, then what was the point in making an arc 2? And i hope that their relationship develops in arc 3 as well.

[asukaindetroit]

Some random headcanons for Nines, who, let's face it, is entirely a product of headcanons because he canonically exists for one bonus scene where he does nothing but blink vapidly: I adore deviant Nines as an absolute supercomputer badass, and am also willing to accept no-thoughts-head-empty Nines for the lulz value, but I also propose this: A Nines who is existentially frustrated by everyone comparing him to Connor all the time. Like, Connor's a Big Deal. That newsreel of Connor leading an android army is super iconic. Everybody knows Connor. Connor's on fucking talk shows telling the 60 Minutes hosts of the 2030s all about the struggle for Android Rights. Connor is TIME magazine's runner-up Person of the Year, only because Markus was the Person of the Year winner. Nines, poor dude, gets activated post-revolution, only for the humans to be like, "Hey, aren't you Connor?" And he has to explain that no, he's not Connor, he's Nines/Niles/Richard/Conrad/Whatever Other Name You Pick. (Personally, I like Niles with Nines as a nickname, but YMMV.) (More below because this gets wordy)

Eventually some paparazzo gets pics of the two of them side-by-side. The internet immediately generates all the same exact memes we have about the two: software/hardware, PS4/PS5, etc. The "totally looks like" meme gets revived just for them. This does not stop the confusion. Instead, someone produces the "twink/twunk" meme and the Whole Fucking Internet dubs him "Twunk Connor" and runs with it as the internet does. Nines gets spotted eating a thirium cookie? #FeedTwunkConnor trends. Nines chases a perp in the streets? #TwunkConnorTakedown all over the socials. Nines shopping? #TwunkConnorSighting. Poor dude lives in the perpetual shadow of a much more famous, near-identical brother. Society expects him to be Connor 2.0 when he's been alive for like five whole minutes and still hasn't figured himself out yet. It's giving him a massive complex. This, incidentally, is grounds for bonding with Gavin, who I am 100% willing to accept is related to Kamski somehow. He, too, knows what it's like to live in the shadow of a much more famous relative. Gavin offers the following: “All you gotta do is make your whole vibe the polar opposite of him, change your last name, and add a few distracting scars. Like nobody even notices we have almost the exact same voice.” To which Nines replies, “I am not copying your look; they would just call me Trash Connor then.”

[away-ward]

i cannot for the life of me make a decision about this, so do you have any headcanons on opinions on what banks would've been like if she had gone to high school ?? what tropes or clichés she would've been closest to embodying ?? because we know em was a nerd, that winter struggled for the obvious reasons but ultimately was fine in hs and fairly normal, rika was decently popular but far from the cheerleader level... but banks, i can't place what she would've been like if she'd gone to high school. we know she's very smart, but i can't see her as someone holed up in a library. then, we can also probably deduce that if she had gone to high school, damon would've been crazy protective but i still can't really make a set decision on much else regarding how banks' storyline/personality would've gone if she did indeed attend Thunder Bay prep or some other high school, minus these small details.

i do think she & emory would've got on like a house on fire if she attended TBP as they would've been in the same grade and probably had similar opinions on high school hierarchy and the horsemen and general thunder bay weirdness and extravagancy. they would've dissed people so thoroughly and easily with their quips and banter, for sure.

Ohh I have thought about this.

It can go so many ways, because as same with Emory, the debate is "was she naturally someone different and the circumstances made her this way? Or is it that she survived the circumstances because this is who she is naturally?"

Did Banks do so well in Gabriel's house because that's who she is, or did being in that house make her that way. In Hideaway, she mentions that she never cut her long hair because it was the last part of "Nikova." Additionally, her struggle with Damon is wanting to be her own person and to experience things other teenagers - normal teenagers - experience. But if she were a normal teenager, would she still value those experiences, or would they be mundane and expected?

I chose to think High School AU Banks would fall somewhere in the middle. She'd still be a bit of a tom-boy, and a bit of a rebel. In my AUs, she still lives with Lucinda, but Damon wants her close, so Gabriel pays for her to attend TBP. She's smart, but not without effort. She's not afraid to get involved throw down if she sees something she doesn't like. She's careful, though, and never throws the first punch, so she can always claim self-defense. It's helpful that she's a bit of a sarcastic smart ass and naturally skilled at goading people.

In school, she'd appear to be generally nonchalant about stuff, but she actually has a lot of opinions. It comes as a surprise to the teachers, who were not expecting Damon Torrance's younger sister to be so... outspoken. And argumentative.

Having a bit more freedom, and hopefully a healthy relationship with her brother, she’d probably be known for fighting with Damon in the halls over how protective he is. Like, he can’t even let her project partner talk to her without going all big brother on her.

Seriously, get a life, dude. Maybe if you had as much confidence talking to your little dancer friend as you do telling me what to do, you’d actually have a girlfriend. Newsflash, bro, there are certain things I can’t and won’t do for you.

I don’t see her wanting to participate in any extracurricular activities, but with a school like Thunder Bay Prep, it would probably be expected. I can’t see her wanting to be on a team, so Girl’s Basketball probably isn’t a good match…

Oh. You know, with her being a bit of a sleuth in Hideaway and tailing Kai to get his routine, she’d probably make a good Yearbook photographer. Or maybe working on their school paper. Maybe something along those lines that keeps her out of the spotlight. Though, I don't know what Banks would want to do growing up. Maybe she does go into student government, wanting to make changes that actually make sense and benefit the students, instead of planting a tree as the senior gift for the fifth year in a row (do these people even know what they could do with this much money, or do they only know how to add when it's involving cases of beer and tits?). Maybe she does it because she's tired of seeing Chloe get everything and wanted to challenge her, and then sort of accidentally ended up class president.

Actually, I like that...Emory makes fun of her for it all the time.

Speaking of Emory, they are best friends. Both come from more humble backgrounds, which would naturally make them targets for bullies, but not this time. Because the whole school knows wherever Emory goes, Banks is close by. And wherever Banks is, Damon is close by. And wherever Damon is, the Horsemen are close by. Not to mention, Will is a horseman, and he’s always close to wherever Emory is…

Not that Banks and Em need them. They're pretty good with the tongue lashings, themselves.

Without a doubt, Banks goes to every single one of Emmy’s activities to show support. She hangs out when Emmy’s working on her projects, and helps when she needs a hand. They both have a crush on a Horseman, but they only talk (read: tease each other) about that when they can guarantee no one can hear them.

I headcanon Banks, Emmy, and Elle are a pretty solid trio. Emmy's smart and artsy, Elle's a soft-hearted romantic, always talking about dating but never taking her own advice, and Banks plays the rebel without a cause who loves her two friends.

Anyway, have some pics that would definitely be in Banks' friend's (so Emmy and Elle) camera roll.

that last one's from Banks of will and emmy. (i've never seen love, rosie, so I don't know context. but I know in a willemmy high school au that has yet to be written, this scene will happen)

Let me know what you think! Or if my headcanons helped inspire some of yours. This was really fun, thanks for the ask.

[herbariumua]

For some reason, the current episodes of The Simpsons that focus on Waylon make me sad.

First, when we go from his blind admiration for Mr. Burns to instantly asking "Who should I kill" and kidnapping a man with a gun to his back - to his conscience that Mr. Burns bribed the judge to they were released from prison? You yourself bribed the judge to get Mr. Burns released in past episodes!

Second, I still don't understand why he has a photo of his ex on his wall. They did not part well. That dude was literally WORSE than Mr. Burns + he kicked a puppy that clearly represented Waylon throughout the episode - after which he decided to go his separate ways.

On the one hand, yes, I get it: character development. Perhaps the moment when he realized that he has a certain "type": "evil" billionaires - then he thought about what he was doing with his life in general. Yes, even in the first seasons, Waylon had a clear line beyond which he was not going to cross, "comic evil", like the idea of ​​blocking the sun or beating up Homer for a completely understandable angry letter.

In more modern seasons, he repeatedly tries to "smooth out" Monty's actions, try to direct him, if not to a more "kind" path, then at least to a "neutral" one. Although the funny thing is that even in the original episodes, Burns is just struggling with anger issues, he is not an "evil villain" and is capable of human feelings, good deeds and is really looking for love and acceptance - which makes him a very interesting character. In the later seasons, his character jumps here and there a lot and he is often reduced to the very "cartoon evil", which upsets me a lot.

I kind of like "I'm even worse than them because I know better - but I do it anyway". I like it if they showed how Waylon on the one hand changed (why?) in the process, and he has on the one hand - a blind and strong love for Monty, and on the other - a desire to do good deeds. And so yes, he is also behind his back, even if together with Marge (I still like that they are best friends), they do good deeds.

By the way, this reminds me a little of the Rick and Morty episode where it turns out that Morty is sneaking behind Rick's back in the dimensions where he messed up and fixing everything that can be done because he has empathy and conscience and even though he no longer a naive child, he is still not a cynical nihilist. Of course, Waylon Smithers goes through a completely different story arc here - although I highly doubt that he was actually given an ARC, and not accidentally, given that the people who created the show don't care about any kind of consistency, canonicity, character development in the long term.

Oh my god, hire fans, seriously.

And damn, we've gone from "I'll turn the Earth upside down for you" to "I bribed a judge not for you… and your wife." On the one hand, I still like the joke that Burns regularly forgets not just Homer, but his entire family, no matter how many times they cross paths and work together.

On the other hand, I don't really get the joke, of why he thinks Waylon is straight, even though he did come out, and he's so out of touch with his personal life that he thinks he has a wife. GIVE ME BACK THEIR "I NAMED MY QUEEN BEE AFTER YOU" RELATIONSHIP! Even if you're not going to make them canon, gosh, it sucks to show that they're THAT far apart because WE KILLED THE FUCK FOR THE PREVIOUS 35 YEARS OF BUILDING THEIR RELATIONSHIP. They are CONSTANTLY together, they TALK, we've been shown that Burns really values ​​Waylon as a sidekick and as a person, even if he can take him for granted.

At this point, I only want to read or write fanfics; and to rewrite these episodes in my imagination so that they fit into the canvas of their homoerotic behavior of the "golden age", if not to canonize them in my imagination. And yes, I DEFINITELY want to take this episode as a base and maybe write it "my way" so I don't want to cry so much.

I know I put too much into the relationship between the two drawing men, but I have a lot of bad things going on in my life right now, and these two are helping me a lot through this period.

[haru-dipthong]

I think a lot of people who get mad or defensive or argumentative when a trans woman tells them not to call her “dude” have a good reason for it. Their thought process is as follows:

- They do, in fact, call women “dude”.

- They want to treat trans women like any other woman. They believe, or at least want to believe, that there’s no difference between trans women and cis women — they’re both just women.

But when trans women say “don’t call me dude”, this forms a crack in the second premise. It makes them think, subconsciously, “wait — a whole class of people I have to gender differently from both men AND women? They must not be regular women then… some kind of other thing. If they’re something else, then they’re not women…” And I think within their personal value system and philosophy, “trans women are women” is a value they (rightly) want to hold onto more than “dude is a word I can use for all people regardless of gender”, and since to them the two are linked, there’s a resistance to changing their mind on the latter. So they argue. Even with the trans woman herself. Because to them, the trans woman is discrediting her claim to being a woman by fighting this battle.

Now, of course, there are ALSO a lot of people (many more, probably) with heads up their own arse who fight this fight because they don’t give a shit about trans women. But to say that ALL of it comes from a place of transmisogyny is just not true.

I know people like this exist because, in the time I spent fascinated by transness while still heavily repressed, I was one of them. This is definitely why I felt wrong changing my behaviour specifically for trans women (even though, to be clear, I am now transfem myself). In fact, it still makes me a little uncomfortable, and I personally don’t feel any need to insist not to be called “dude” — I would love to be treated by everyone exactly as they would treat a cis woman, even if it includes being called “dude”.

However, I also totally get it. Even when I was at the peak of thinking about this stuff while I was repressed, I avoided using masculine terms like “dude” for trans women I met at parties etc. because it’s just better and easier for everyone, socially. But I think, and this may be obvious to some people, that the truth is that it is an issue of trauma rather than one of gender. Like, if I knew a friend had trauma related to confined spaces, I wouldn’t bring up cave diving in conversation. I think this is the real crux of the issue — the insistence upon not being called “dude”, “man”, etc is not because trans women as a group are fundamentally different from cis women, it’s because most trans women, individually, have the trauma of being called a man. And if you’re interacting with an individual, you should consider their individual sensitivities and desires in that interaction.

So I suppose this post has been an attempt to explain the issue to these people who think about it the same way I did and to encourage them to change, and also an attempt to help trans women (who might be struggling with someone in their life doing this) understand that it’s not all coming from a place of transmisogyny.

[serasheart]

Valentines

+ jjk men

Gojo. Satoru

Tbh, he would be all over you during valentine. He would buy you chocolates, flowers, teddy bears, perfume, all of that romantic shit and he would be so happy to do so.

He’s a very expressive man in relationships, he struggled to commit to you at first because he’s not very good with relationships and usually had to be held higher than most people with no close relations in fear of those people being used against him.

Being the strongest does have its perks aswell though, it’s not all gore and guts. For example; you never have to be scared walking outside alone, mostly because your boyfriend is a well-built dude who, if you were to be in trouble, would get there extremely fast.

That speed also playing a part in valentines, because even though he will spoil you to death, he will wait until last second to do all the shopping. He’s not attentive, and would’ve easily forgotten had that valentines post on instagram not woken him the fuck up.

The man gleams as he places all of the gifts on your average apartment table, your jaw almost drops at how much stuff there is.

“So there’s this, and this, and- Oh! This too!”

Geto. Suguru

Doesn’t have as much as Gojo does but he still buys you stuff like chocolates and flowers, instead of showering you in gifts he takes the chance to get to know you and get to know what you like.

Very affectionate, takes care of you and makes sure to make you feel special and valued because he loves you and cares about you.

His daughters really like you too so he buys flowers for all 3 of you, you have a vase you put them in (that he gifted you a while ago)

Just really lovely and affectionate in general, he cares about you and how you feel so he wants to show you that. Could give you everything for how you make him feel and he could talk about you for literal hours, so basically he’s a sweetheart that actually takes the time to get to know you even if he doesn’t get you the most.

You never have a plain day with him and you enjoy being with him just as he does with you, he makes sure your chocolates are your favourite and the flowers are the nicest smelling ones with the prettiest design. (All real flowers, no plastic because he don’t fw that monkey BS)

You guys spend your day together obviously, he wakes you up to breakfast in bed and is overall just a good boyfriend. Taking the time to care about you and your feelings whilst also putting effort into his gifts for you.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

Nanami. Kento

A lot similar to Geto, Nanami would buy you flowers and chocolate whilst also being thoughtful of what you would want. He’d treat you more like a wife on valentines than a girlfriend and he would make sure you feel nurtured and tended to.

He’s a hard business man so he wouldn’t want his woman to feel anything less than what she is, which, in his eyes, you’re literal perfection. He doesn’t know what he has done for this godsend of an angel to even grace him with her presence.

But he knows not to fuck it up, overall hes a good boyfriend and will also make sure you’re happy above all because he believes quantity doesn’t matter, more quality. He’s tender, affectionate and knows how to make you happy in all the right ways. The original gentleman if you will!

You don’t really care what he does for you on Valentine’s Day because you know he makes you happy, you’re special to him and he’s special to you aswell but that doesn’t mean he won’t try his best to make your valentines the best one you’ve had yet. (Winky face)

Also really likes calling you sweetheart and honey, he prefers pet names instead of calling you your actual name because it makes him feel closer to you. So yeah, basically he’s a hella good boyfriend and you don’t know how you pulled him lol.

“Feeling cold, honey? I can get you a blanket?”

Kamo. Choso

Has 0 clue how to treat a woman let alone one he’s in a romantic relationship with, he doesn’t even understand the concept of Valentine’s Day or how it could be such an important event. He’s already having a hard time processing whether or not Christmas is an important holiday.

Regardless though, when you tell him about Valentine’s Day he seems kinda shocked and confused, trying to process it as best as he can because he’s not trying to fuck things up between you guys and he wants to understand that it’s something important to you.

So, after that day, a week before valentines, he will do a shit ton of research on what it is and how he should handle it, not wanting to rawdog and go head first in to something he barely understands the concept of;

He will end up realising it’s a day about love (apparently didn’t process to him before) and will take it a lot more serious because he’s literal about his feelings towards you, he wants to make it special for you but it’s also his first valentines so he won’t grasp it completely, the curse is stupid when it comes to emotions and has never known feelings before he decided to live on as a human.

You guys will go out, he’ll probably manage to get his hands on something to give you even if it’s small but you’ll appreciate the gesture anyways because it’s the thought that counts. Literally loves you so much more than you’ll ever know and will feel bad if he feels like he didn’t do enough for you.

“Are you sure you like them?”

Fushiguro. Toji

Flat out, doesn’t remember or doesn’t care to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. if you get upset he forgot he’ll dismiss it or give you a half assed “Happy valentines or whatever”

It wasn’t a good day for him to remember and he doesn’t like the day, you know he’s still grieving his wife and you were completely okay with that when you got with him. But to be honest, even if he wasn’t he wouldn’t care much about the event or day because afterall he’s a Zenin 😭

At the end though, you know he loves you he’s just too lazy or too inattentive to put in the work for Valentine’s Day, not to mention he’s dirt poor so he wouldnt be able to do much for you anyways LOL.

After the first valentines he might remember the second but that’s a gamble, either way you wouldn’t care as long as he were to fuck your brains out later on which he most definitely will do.

nothing more to really add here, also because I hate to write lovey dovey stuff for Toji 😭😭😭😭

“You still fuckin’ mad at me, slut?”

Ryomen. Sukuna

Much like Toji, he just genuinely does not gaf for it. Not gonna sugarcoat it, Sukuna only wants you for one thing and one thing only and that is not your personality girl, he doesn’t care whether you’re mad at him or inlove with him.

The event doesn’t hold much value to him and all he thinks of you as in the end is a plaything for him to dispose of later, he doesn’t really care for your feelings or think of a future with you. You’re just a pawn for him and you’re playing along to his game until you’re not.

Sukuna will grumble to himself when you’re mad at him because that means no pussy and he will start to get mad himself, even if he can’t bring himself to admit it maybe he holds the slightest bit of affection for you in his cold heart.

Doesn’t really care for things you would want him to care for but again, it’s Ryomen Sukuna so what the fuck are we expecting. He doesn’t love you and has never said he loves you, but maybe, just maybe you’re starting to grow on him a little more and he’ll entertain your valentines ideas if he weren’t to end your life when he got bored.

“Cut it out, brat.”

[lurkingshan]

Theory of Love Episode 11: He’s Just Not That Into You

One of my favorite episodes of this show paired with a truly execrable film. I will never forgive Hollywood for making this movie or Third for making me relive it. In brief:

A bunch of horrible white people fuck around with each other in a series of tepid romantic plot lines that center on the idea that women are all pathetic clingers who desperately want to be loved while men are mostly not that into them. The misogyny in this film is so deeply embedded that even when they attempt to gender flip this dynamic it still manages to come out incredibly sexist. In the end the film completely undercut its own thesis anyway by giving the most pathetic character an unearned happy romance ending, contra everything the film claimed to be preaching about how we should take the way people treat us at face value. Whatever!

This movie sucks big time, but it did have some fairly obvious connections to this episode of Theory of Love, which is all about the messes that result from relationships where there is little trust and uneven certainty about each other's level of investment. We ended last week with Third and Khai finally together, but Third struggling to trust that Khai's interest in him is genuine and lasting, and a wild Ching Ching on the way to make trouble. And make trouble, she did.

Third spends most of this episode in a premium Drama Queen sulk after catching Khai allegedly kissing new girl Ching Ching at a bar. We don't get the full reveal of what happened in this episode, but it's fairly obvious from the set up and Khai's demeanor in the aftermath that it was not what it looked like and Third has not been betrayed. But Third is not at all open to hearing that and steadfastly refuses to let Khai explain what really happened. I've said from the beginning of this watch that one of Third's defining characteristics is that he loves to wallow and is a little bit in love with his own misery, and that was on full display in this episode. He refused to communicate for this entire episode, leaving his relationship with Khai in a strained limbo.

Which leaves Khai to flail and try his best to continue preparing for their planned beach trip with the guys, just hoping Third will cool down and show up and all will be well. I have to give Khai a lot of credit for the way he handled Third's blow up in this episode. He understood why the situation with Ching Ching looked the way it did to Third and didn't get upset about being accused of something he obviously didn't do (or about Third retaliating by kissing a random dude at the bar). He immediately tried to clear the air with him, and backed off when it was clear Third was too worked up to listen. He gave him the space he asked for and continued planning for their trip, and he showed up as promised despite Third not talking to him for days. Khai was so understanding and resigned to the way Third was treating him that I actually started to feel sad for him. He didn't deserve to be iced out like that, or for his other friends to assume the worst and abandon him, standing him up for their beach trip.

To his credit, Third was horrified when he realized they had left Khai alone at the train station. He wanted to punish Khai and have a good sulk privately, but he never intended for Two and Bone to abandon Khai, as well. (That is almost entirely on Two, who acted a fool in a number of ways in this episode. I dislike that character more on every watch of this show.) We got a great classic romcom run as Third bolted for the station and saw his tearful dismay at realizing Khai had been waiting there for them all day. It genuinely shook Third to realize Khai waited for him because he wanted to keep his promise. In this moment he finally seemed to understand and accept Khai's sincerity.

Rewatching this episode I was thinking a lot about @waitmyturtles's review of TOL. Her thoughts about how hard it is to change when the people around you don't want to let you were echoing in my head while I watched Khai's friends misunderstand his efforts and dismiss his attempts to show up for them. Third has been holding on to his hurt for a long time, and he's struggling to accept that things with Khai have truly changed. In a way, it's more comfortable for him if Khai goes back to disappointing him, because at least it's something he understands. Trusting Khai and putting his honest feelings on the line is a risk. But if he wants to move forward, it's one he has to take.

[xiki-pupper]

I can understand how Shuro may be a frustrating character to some folks - in fact that is kinda what he is there for, narratively speaking. But it really gives me ick when people just wanna shit on him for "being awful/the worst/an asshole"

The way I see it, the dude is his own different flavor of Autism- repressed, conditioned, awkward, and forced to participate in high society, not to mention the culture clash - and he sees laios just being his own weirdo self and he hates it --- no, thats not it. I honestly don't think he hates laios; i truly believe he hates that Laios gets to be TRUE to himself, and he (shuro) Doesn't get to be.

And it's a feeling I can understand and sympathize and empathize with, as I have been on my own personal journey to try and un-mask and deconstruct and heal myself in a world that has made me feel broken my entire life

People scream "hypocrisy" as shuro sees the same traits between the touden siblings, and is attracted to one whilst hating the other - and yes, I can agree that it's a bit hypocritical, but yall are taking it at face value and not understanding where his feelings are coming from. Shuro doesn't hate laios because he has a special interest, shuro hates that his whole life, he has had to squash himself into a form-fitting box, behave as his family commands, and now he sees laios being free of expectation, just out here being a weirdo, and shuro is possibly feeling that frustrated grief that comes with the late diagnosed autistic situation of "I could have been happy, too, but no, *I* had to be the responsible one"

... at least, that's how I view it. Coz I myself have had those thoughts. And I know, it's NOT a good look for me to be out here admitting that I have felt this way, like for example, maybe I see someone else's struggle with anxiety, whether it's online or in real life, and I have this bitter thought to myself of "yeah, I have anxiety too, but *I* was still forced to be a responsible adult anyway" which makes me momentarily frustrated.

And before anyone jumps my ass about it, NO, I definitely DO NOT think that "if I had to suffer thru it, so should everyone else" that's NOT what I'm saying. But I AM saying that, there is a bitterness, when u see someone who is able to avoid a struggle that you had to endure - that bitterness is NOT thinking that everyone should suffer as I did, but me being bitter that *I had to* at all.

Does that make sense? Coz I really feel like Shuro just gets shit on because people think he's there to interrupt the Yuri and be mean to Laois, and I really feel that he's a whole ass person. And a somewhat melancholic one, at that. He makes me think of how I had to grow up Christian whilst being queer and undiagnosed Audhd my entire life, and I would be very very surprised to hear that a large chunk of dunmeshi fans didn't ALSO grow up this way, feeling broken and stupid and tired, forced to do things the "normal people" way, and then NOT understand how Shuro feels when he sees someone who is in a position to be mostly free of that...

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Aside from Origins and Oblivio, what are your most favourite episodes of Miraculous?

Oblivio and Origins are the only episodes come to mind when I think of my favorite episodes because they're the only ones I've watched multiple times, but I'll read through the episode list and give you every episode that stands out as a positive memory. I'll also note my thoughts on how these episodes could have been improved because I don't like to give things my stamp of approval without acknowledging the flaws.

Stormy Weather: this was a solid intro with a lot of fun moments. I wish the show had lived up to the things this intro promised. It may have been the best Ladynoir dynamic we ever got... The only thing I didn't like was the introduction of Marinette's flaw where she can't say no because I don't think that goes anywhere in canon? If it had been the start of a character arc, then it would have been great! Only reason this isn't a true favorite is that it's a light-hearted intro episode that's just about introducing us to the world of Miraculous. It does that well, but doesn't have much rewatch value for me as I tend to go for stuff with stronger plots.

The Evillustrator: quality identity shenanigans, but I wasn't a fan of the way Marinette treated Chat Noir when he came to meet her on her civilian side. Her secretly making fun of him was one of the early instances of the show writing Ladynoir like work colleges forced together by their boss. Not a great choice for your main couple, but the later Marichat moments are still great!

Dark Cupid: I'm a sucker for True Love's Kiss so of course I love this one, but don't like that Ladybug immediately assumed that a kiss would work. That kills that tension! It should have been a hail Mary that she only came up with after Chat Noir had her pinned. I'm also super bummed that this kiss magic never came up again. What a waste! The final issue is that the episode played Chat Noir poorly because it's one of the episodes where he only got hit because he was too focused on flirting over fighting. I hate it when the writers do that! It totally undermines Adrien's character.

Origins: my issues with this one are pretty nuanced so I won't go into them in detail as they're not glaring and would take too long to sum up. It's all subtle things like Alya and Chat Noir both inspiring Marinette to be Ladybug which is only a flaw if you want the story to be focused on Ladynoir first and foremost.

Despair Bear: the ending of this one sucks, but I do like the first 95% of it. I liked Adrien standing up to Chloe. I liked Chloe freaking out over losing Adrien. I like Chloe struggling to play nice. All good moments that could have been great if the episode had stuck the landing.

Glaciator: this one's main issue is its place in the timeline. If Chat Noir's confession was quickly followed by a crush flip or Ladynoir together, then this would be mostly fine. The more subtle issue is the fact that Marinette is treated as the one in the wrong here when Chat Noir is the one who needed to learn a lesson. She said she wasn't going to make it, dude! Don't wait for her! Go see your friends! In spite of those issues, I do still enjoy this episode. The balcony scene is adorable! I just wish that it was in a better show.

Sapotis: I think Alya gets the best hero debut of the season two heroes, but that isn't saying much. While I like her part in this episode, I wish that it felt like she was picked for something unique to her and not just because her sisters got akumatized. Still fun to see her be a hero for the first time, though.

Sandboy: While I'm so-so on this episode, I loved the concept of this akuma! My main complaint is that the fears he revealed never really went anywhere. Normally an episode like this is about letting the heroes understand each other better, deepening their relationship, but that didn't happen here. The fact that Chat Noir's biggest fear is Ladybug hating him never got addressed. The episode treats it like a joke:

Nightmare Ladybug: Bad kitty! I'll never love you! I've always wanted to get rid of you! Ladybug: You have weird dreams too. Cat Noir: My bad.

Style Queen: I remember being so excited by this episode! The Ladrien moment! Gabriel being a good dad! Adrien getting hit by the akuma! Plagg and Ladybug meeting! Topping it all off was the beauty that was Chloe getting the bee with no one knowing that she had it. That was a twist that I didn't see coming! Of course it all goes to hell in the next episode, but I'm still putting this one on the list because I genuinely loved it when I first saw it. It was the last episode where I believed in a Chloe redemption arc and I love a good redemption arc.

Malediktator: This episode started the trend of the writers having no idea what they were doing with Chloe. I don't understand why she got the bee again after her identity was outed, but I still like this one in a vacuum. I liked seeing Chloe own up to her faults. Chat Noir saving the day via laser pointer was also pretty fun as was Ladybug getting a gun only to use the laser scope and nothing else. That's how I've always wanted the lucky charm to be used. Less Marinette solving puzzles and more Marinette's brain working in a way that makes no sense to anyone else.

Oblivio: This is my favorite "what if" episode by far and I would have loved to see more like this because it's not a freaking time reset! It's a memory wipe and we're told that the memories will be wiped pretty early on so the ending doesn't feel forced. That doesn't change the fact that one of my favorite genres of fic is Oblivio fix-its where the memories don't get erased. I also cannot give this episode the seal of true perfection because the writers decided to Chat Noir goof off during the first fight, leading Oblivio to hit the heroes. Why? Why ruin my fun with that nonsense! It's a one-hit KO akuma. Just let him get hit by accident while fighting! You don't need Adrien and Marinette to question their couple status! It's not like that plot point changed their behavior.

Gamer 2.0: This is the first episode where I can't think of an issue. It's a major improvement on Gamer, has a cute ending, and some adorable Ladynoir moments. What's not to love? Only reason it's not a favorite is that it's just nice filler and I rarely have filler on my favorites list. It has to be truly spectacular for that to happen.

Wishmaker: I'm putting this one on here because it's the only season four episode where I went "Oh, yeah, that had some good moments" when I read the title. I hated everything about Adrien not having a childhood dream because it makes no sense for his character, but the akuma's power was interesting, Luka got to be in his best role (mentor), and the Jagged Stone crocodile scene will never cease to make me laugh. Luka learning the identities is yet another moment where I was excited to see what happened next, but hated the payoff. So, like Sandboy, this one is on the list more for it's potential than what it actually was.

Glaciator 2: I guess I'll put this one on here, too, since I do love the ending scene where Marinette finally confesses to Adrien even if she doesn't know it. I just hate that it never paid off. The writers will forever have my ire for going with the freaking statue scene instead. Terrible choice. I also hated almost everything before the confession scene. Why are Marinette and Chat Noir hanging out in public? You're really telling me that she can't do that with Adrien (Gorizilla) but no one bats an eye when she's out with Chat Noir? Yeah right.

And that's it! Every episode that I felt had real potential and remember really enjoying. There are other episodes that I had fun with, but I limited this list to ones whose name sparked some manner of strong positive feelings instead of a simple "oh yeah, that one was fine."

[godricgryffinsnore]

WHY DOES MY MOM COMPROMISE FOR EVERYTHING?! 😭😭

Sorry, imma rant a bit rn, bear with me :(

So, we sat on the train yesterday, and came to our destination today. From the moment we stepped out of the goddamn train, my VERY distant cousin’s father (mind you, VERY DISTANT, not even goddamn related to me or my family) has been nothing but bossy to both of my parents. It pisses me off so bad. But okay, sure, no problem, you are older, do whatever. Sooo, we went to have our lunch in a VERY fancy restaurant which is also a stay-in hotel. My parents were like, “Sure, let’s just stay here.” and all. BUT THAT MAN DECLINED. Bro was disagreeing because he “didn’t want to waste his money on some fancy hotel.” DUDE?! Tf is wrong with you? Like, do you really value money over comfort? AND I KNOW THE FIRST THOUGHT THAT WOULD COME TO YOUR MIND IS “Oh he must be struggling, you never know.” NO. None of that. They are fucking rich. They have two bread-winner in the family and both of them have highly paid jobs. They are fucking rich. Like high level rich. Like, just yesterday his younger son bought a IPHONE 16 PRO MAX. HE BROUGHT A BRAND NEW PHONE TO THE TRIP?! BUT STILL THEY DECIDED TO GO TO “SAVE” MONEY. It won’t hurt their pocket even one bit, but still!!!! AND MIND YOU, we can’t stay in the fancy hotel because they didn’t allow us, well not “allow us” per se. BUT EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION IS A THING GUYS. My parents being utterly sacrificing and compromising everything, agreed on going to the hotel they liked. We walked for half an hour in the pouring rain and came to this new hotel which is again “Too expensive” for them. While their dear son was the one who searched up this hotel. Thankfully, my mom was tired, so she was adamant about staying at this new hotel that THEY FOUND, and THEY COMPLAINED. Now, they are whining and complaining about the money while I am here happy with free Internet :) OH AND BTW, the first hotel is DOUBLE the pricing of the current hotel and they are STILL whining. Like please be fr 🤌🏻 There is a difference between genuinely saving money and being stingy. A HUGE FUCKING DIFFERENCE.

Sorry about this post, really needed to get my frustration out, so ranted a bit <333

Does this whole rant even make sense? I hope so…

xoxo, della 🧸