#stop brain

[phatburd]

🧙‍♀️

[divinekangaroo]

modern day Lizzie would write the most intense published pornography under her maiden name and make all her money doing that

and she'd be doing the school run in a goddamned hated minivan because there's like six or eight or maybe ten children to wrangle if not more by then and tommy tells her to stop complaining and pile em in the back of a pickup with a tarp over instead if she's so against it and she'd be all how dare you when you drive to work every day in a two seater fucking 1977 fully restored jaguar that the children aren't even allowed to look at much less ride in and john has a motorbike and i don't even get--

and she'd still blush like fire and have to forcibly compose herself when Tommy absently licks spilled whiskey off her fingers at a club dinner or John ties a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue when showing off to other dads at a school kids birthday party

[whatwouldvalerydo]

Me: I can't remember the last time I went to bed at a normal hour.

Also me: *wondering why I can't string two thoughts together and can't focus*

Me: I will go to bed early today.

Brain: Have you thought about this one shot?

Me: What one shot? I am not writing anything new.

Brain: What about Felix coming to tell Talia about losing her son?

Me: *goes to make coffee* Fuck this, you and everything in between.

[aloeverawrites]

Not to be all body horror but-

*takes brain out and whips it at the wall

[obeythedemons]

What is it about me being sick that makes me want to cling onto someone like a koala bear...?

[bitletsanddrabbles]

When you’ve been watching the Sandman promo stuff and you suddenly remember that Matthew the raven died in a car wreck.

...

...

Send help.

[jenovacomplete]

daylight savings is actually truly one of the most evil things in the world. just casually forcing us to confront the fact that time is fake while torturing insomniacs, autistics and schoolchildren across the globe. when will the agony end

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[clarisse-doodles]

inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

[theartofmadeline]

yes i'm still thinking about the botw champions in 2024

[dacchamp]

[lazylittledragon]

please continue with dadstarion if you want to. we lov him

don’t worry i don’t need to be asked

[bixels]

Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!

[hexjulia]

"I am going to put a stop to your fornication with the sea. She belongs to me."

-- Spartan general Callicratidas to general Conon of Athens for various reasons but none that justify this phrasing.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

world's longest staring contest GO-

[tapakah0]