#stop making fun of people for being concerned if a guy had died and stop acting like you're better because you thought he lied

[mukuberry]

james somerton pretending to have killed himself for months is extremely disgusting and you can definitely hate him for it, but bragging about how you 'always knew he was lying' doesn't actually make it seem like you're good at spotting manipulation, it just makes you seem like a heartless dick. stop it

[love-lilly02]

The Challenge— Chapter 10

When you were younger, your mom would tell you how special you were. 

She would go on and on about how perfect you were, how wonderful you would grow up to be, just how smart, how you outshined the class, how you outshined everyone in everything that you did.

When you got older, you noticed that only happened when you followed her rules.

You were so humble when you ate exactly half of everything on your plate, smart only when you got above a 95% on your assignments. You were athletic when you won games, a little Einstein when you got blue ribbon in tournaments. You were only good to her when you could be the best. 

Your sister took an exact opposite route, choosing to do whatever she wanted. “Why live up to her bull shit expectations when i’m having so much fun?” 

That was what made you two so different. You scrapped for your mother’s attention, and she just… didn’t care for it. At all. It always served to confuse you, did nothing but spin your head in circles like some paradox you could never solve. Why not be the best? It’s done nothing but good for me. 

Until you were forced to fake your death. 

That wasn’t really great. 

Your mom had made it sound so convincing, like it was such a good idea. You remember her sitting down in your room, telling you all about the plan and how you would “come back” as a child they adopted to fill the loss. The same name as your sister and everything, all of it would be a fresh start. You get to redo all those wins, all those successes with her now!

And you had agreed. You played the role, hiding in a box while the shooter your mom hired killed a girl who looked exactly like you. You went into hiding while everything got settled out, came back with a new face and a new name, re-joined your “new” family with pride. 

And you kept your mom’s dirty little secret. You swore no one would know, that they would never find out you were a fraud. 

Till you enlisted, that is. 

Nobody ever expects to find lifelong partners in one of the most gruesome jobs known to man, but that’s exactly what happened. You climbed through the ranks so quickly everyone else swore on their lives you were a spy, and joined the task force with the sole mission of getting that name off of your back. Instead, you were introduced to a whole different view of life. 

The way the boys worked with each other never failed to surprise you. Often times, they didn’t even have to speak to make a request before it was being fulfilled, whether on the field or in the barracks. The only thing that kept you notified of these “ghost tasks” was when one of the boys would say “thanks mate” and you’d hear a body fall. 

Over time, they included you in these tasks. How it happened, you never knew, but you had the distinct feeling you needed to shoot that guy just there on the left, and when it happened Price would smile at you, and offer up a quick “Thanks, doll.”

Made you weak in the knees, but nobody needed to know that. 

The men on the task force showed you what true love was. They were there for you when some of your closest friends died on a mission, they saved your sorry ass from death so many times you were sure they were edging the grimm reaper. And they made you laugh harder than you had laughed in years— a full, real laugh, not the small giggle your mom made you do. 

Now you understood why your sister never followed those rules. Why she was so instant on rebelling, why she always looked happier.

And you fucked it up. You fucked all of it up. 

It just took you your whole life to realize it. 

Stupidly enough, your only concern was your sister. 

Being called to your captain’s office was nothing odd, but being summoned by the Lieutenant and both Sargents was… near unheard of. But you knew the instant you saw the looks on their faces that you weren’t sneaky enough. They had found you— the real you. 

You never understood what people meant when they said hearts sank, but in that moment yours just stopped beating completely. The walk to the office was completely silent, and you noticed the boys glancing at you and each other, but you never looked back. A million excuses whirled through your head, how you were tricked, lied too, how your mother was a psycho. None of them would fly in a court room. 

You just had to accept defeat. This was it, the end of your career. Fraud on this level could be punished by death, you were pretty sure. Maybe not in a court, but this was the military, and you were being sentenced by John Price. 

He wasn’t known to show mercy. 

“You know why you’re here, then.”

You just nodded. A tense silence hung about the room, and you saw Johnny shuffle nervously in the corner. 

“Lass— why would you… I canne understand it.” He said, trying desperately to catch your gaze. You kept your eyes pointedly trained on your shoes, never once looking up. 

“Can’t wrap my head ‘round it either. From the looks of it ‘ere, you had it all. Model student you were. What was the point? Got a kick out of it, hm?” Price gestured to the spray of photos, articles and videos, all proving his point. You just gave him a lame shrug. 

“Workin’ with me for so long must have taught you somethin. Better to stay quiet, eh? Think that’s gonna help?” Price snapped his fingers, and heavy footfalls sounded behind you. Ghost’s thick black hand snaked around your neck, forcing your chin up to look at Price. “Hate doin’ this to a team mate, but I got no choice now.” His accent was thick, and in any other circumstances you would have found it incredibly attractive. Now, though, it only served to support the feeling of dread sitting in your stomach. Distantly, you had the small thought that you were going to be sick. 

You tried opening your mouth to say something, although what you were going to say was completely lost on you. It was almost like you were locked in place, forever paused with that stupid look of fear on your face. Now you got why being interrogated by these men was so scary, something most people didn’t survive. You wanted to speak, just as well as you understood that— deep down— the boys were all hoping there was a good reason behind why this happened. But you just physically couldn’t.

“Olright, leme ask you this.” This time it was Ghost, and his hand jerked your chin up to look at him. “You enjoy it? Gettin’ your little ‘do over,’ doin everything right? It made you happy?” 

“At first.” This time you were able to speak, because the answer was so simple. “But not anymore. Never, anymore.” Ghost’s eyes flicked up to his captain, and suddenly he was letting your face go and stepping away. You turned to Price to see how he was leaning over the table, palms clasped into a fist under his chin. 

“I’m gonna give you one chance to explain.” He says. 

So you do. 

You tell them all the things your mom said about you, everything she abused about your sister, how she just didn’t care and kept being herself the whole time. You told them how she came up with the plan, how it was executed, what you did after, how you two didn’t get caught. 

And after, they all just stared in shock. 

“I don’t— I regret it. If that’s what you all are wondering. Doing that to her… She was forced into a life even I hated living. I know what she— why she did the things she did. Being this happy…” You were crying, trying to speak through the huge choking sobs that threatened to escape. “That doesn’t make anything better, I guess. Just don’t hurt her. She had a good life, and she can still live one— I just—“ You hiccuped, scrubbing at your eyes frantically. The sound of the chair scraping against the tile floor didn’t register, but huge arms around your body did. 

“ ‘S alright darling. Gonna be okay, I gotcha.”

And for the first time in your life, you cry in John Price’s arms

AN: Time to disappear for another week😈😈 until next time, my lovelies!!

[hotxcheeto]

Hi! Can you write an Ellie x reader where Ellie gets mad at fem reader because of a little fight they had over something super stupid and reader is upset and apologizing but Ellie yells at her causing her to break down but Ellie is stubborn. Maybe the reader has partrol and almost dies and Ellie is super sad she didnt forgive you and its a soft fluffy ending? (Sorry for my english if its not understandable)

━ 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Ellie Williams  x Fem!Reader 

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, angst, blood descriptions, ellie being mean, yelling, insults ( mostly to ellie ), sadness, pain descriptions, reader getting shot, mentions of pain drugs, fluff, happy ending

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - i hate the ending!?!?!?!?! that you for the rq! have an amazing day

REBLOGS ARE VERY APPRECIATED

"I'm sorry." You murmured quietly, looking down at your hands as she continued roughly shoving things into her backpack. "I didn't know that it would upset you." "I just wanted five fucking seconds of peace before we had to leave."

Your mouth snapped closed instead of apologizing once more, standing quietly behind her with your bag on your shoulders. Looking down at your boots finding the dirt and water stains on them much more interesting.

"You could've just asked for some space I didn't know–" "You never know! You don't fucking ask!" She hurriedly zipped the bag, throwing the strap around her shoulder.

"We should go." Ellie said sharply "Okay.." It was awkward as she brushed passed you, the sounds of her boots being the only sound besides your shaky breathing in the room.

"I didn't mean to make you upset." Ellie huffed, all but ripping open the front door but didn't say a word walking out and leaving you to shut it. Following after her, you noticed how fast she was walking practically running away from you.

Once she got to the gate she yanked it open not even bothering to push it open for you allowing it to slam in your face.

"I'm sorry, can we please just talk about it for a second." The girl ignored you once more only making you sadder. "Please Ellie, I don't want to go out there mad at each ot–" "Just shut the hell up already!" You stopped walking, staring at her still moving form that slowly blurred with your tears that began to brim in your eyes.

You could feel people's eyes on you, but you refused to look. Afraid of what you'd see.

Instead of continuing though, Ellie turned to look at you, seeing the mix of emotions on your face. But the main one was shock, then there was the sad, staring at her like she'd just ripped your heart out and stomped on it right in front of you.

"Y/n–" You walked right past her, choking back your very audible sobs as you walked. Keeping your head down the entire time, avoiding everyone's stares as you made your way to the front gate where Dina and Jesse had been waiting on you both.

Dina had fought for you four to get this days trip together, claiming it would be more fun and more efficient. But Maria was always reluctant when it came to you guys. It was lucky you'd gotten it at all thanks to Joel who argued on your behalf.

You couldn't even be excited anymore though, only ashamed and sad. Wanting nothing more to hide in bed and cry. You felt so stupid.

"Hey slowp– what's wrong?" Dina's voice went from excited to concerned in a matter of a millisecond. "Nothing, m'fine." Dina stared at you as you walked by turning to a still frustrated Ellie after you'd gotten far enough away.

"What the fuck did you do to her?"

"Why do you assume I did something?"

"Because Y/n doesn't cry over nothing, Ellie." Jesse answered for her, turning around to walk towards you. Standing close to the gate, wiping your tears away while trying to calm yourself down.

"Hey." "I don't want to talk about it." "Alright, that's cool." He nodded, grabbing your shoulder making you look at him with your sad eyes. "Jesus Y/n." "M'sorry." You shook your head while he did the same, pulling you in for a hug. "Nothin' to be sorry for, c'mon we can walk out together."

"She's just a dick." You huffed, wiping your face. "A big one." You laughed slightly, watching Ellie and Dina pull their horses from the stalls.

"You wanna ride with me?" He then asked while you shook your head, wiping the wetness from your face once more. "No, I'm fine." "You sure?" You looked into his unsure eyes and nodded with a wobbly smile. "All good. But I'm not talking to her." "I don't blame you."

You both walked back to Dina and Ellie, Dina now visibly upset while Ellie avoided your eyes.

"Are you riding with Jesse?" Dina asked, glaring down Ellie while you shook your head with a light laugh. "No, it's okay." Dina huffed but allowed you to climb up on the back of Shimmer, Ellie sitting in front of you.

It was almost as if she waited for your hands and arms to tightly wrap around her waist. Hugging her close as per usual, no matter how hot it was you were always laid up against her back with your face squished against her shirt telling her about the different things you'd see that she couldn't catch.

But the feeling never came.

Her waist sitting empty as you guys began your journey towards a nearby neighborhood that bandits usually claimed. But lately it had seemed totally empty, bodies stringing about so Tommy had decided to send a few scouts out, the scouts being you guys.

Take a look around. That's all you had to do. Then hit everything you could on the way back, as Jackson was running low and they needed everything they could get. Simple as that, just a days run.

Scout and Scavenge.

Simple as that.

Over the course of the ride you ran over everything that had occurred earlier, missing the way Ellie would turn and glance over her shoulder at you. Seeing how you'd sniffle as you thought over every interaction you had with the girl before you left.

But something about it couldn't bring her to say sorry.

As much as the words rested on the tip of her tongue, they died out everytime she parted her mouth to speak.

Choosing silence instead.

"Hey, look ahead." It looked like smoke, clouding up from the houses. Peeking from around Ellie's body you stared at it confused.

"Didn't they say it was empty?" "Basically, with a shit ton of bodies to compliment it." Jesse replied, staring up at the steady stream of black smoke rising into the air.

"Do you think it's still burning?" "It is. Black is burning, white means it's out." Jesse laughed and turned to you. "How do you know that?" You met his eyes, shrugging. "Joel taught me." Jesse made a noise, sticking his bottom lip out while nodding.

"Do we still wanna go in?" "It could've been lit hours ago and still be burning." Dina then said, seeing you nod from the corner of her eye.

"We should leave the horses and go closer if it looks bad then we turn around and skip town." You then muttered, staring nervously at the smoke. "Yeah, let's do it." Ellie agreed, turning to look at you but your eyes were locked on the steady air rising up slowly turning gray as time went.

Sliding off of Shimmer you let Ellie hide her while Jesse did the same with Japan. Both you and Dina taking off towards the neighborhood with them following.

"You got a bad feeling about this?" "I didn't when I said it, but yeah, a little bit." You walked quietly, trying her best to ignore the holes being burned into the back of your head, Jesse and Dina quietly talking back and forth to cut the awkward silence.

"Something doesn't feel right about this." Ellie then muttered, mostly in the open air in hopes you'd reply to her comment, just a small 'yeah' would of been enough.

But nothing passed your lips, barely even noticing that she spoke. A deep gut feeling entering your stomach is what you were focusing in on.

The street looked abandon from what you could see through the trees interrupting most of it along with the high weeds and grass. It was overgrown and had plenty of places to hide, which is exactly why you guys stood so far back.

"Guys we should go back."

"Dina's right–"

You all heard it before you realized what was happening.

A loud pop, boom over however you want to describe it.

Then all eyes were on you, and at first you didn't understand why until you felt it.

The pain.

It was like it exploded, slowly looking down at your blood soaked hip when you were ripped backwards, hand hovering over the red that soaked your shirt.

Then someone grabbing you and ripping you to the floor, holding you close to their body. But everything felt like blur.

The noise around you was muffled, looking around as the time seemed to slow to a stop. Your eyes landing on the wound once more when it finally hit you, as much as it could anyway.

"What's happening?" You choked out, everything seemingly speeding up as gunshots rang through the air making you look around. Terrified at the amount of people you seen hiding around the houses and trees.

"Hey, stay awake alright?" You looked up at Ellie, holding your bloody hip with one hand and laying you down with the other. "I can't feel anything." "You're in shock." Dina then said coming over with her sweater tying it around your waist. "You have to keep pressure on it Ellie." "I can't– oh fuck– fuck!" "Breathe Ellie."

You looked around, the world seeming much brighter than before, the sun beating down on you. You felt hot, but it was cool today, and that's all you could think about until a hand rested on your cheek your eyes suddenly on hers.

"Ellie?" "You're gonna be okay, stay still." You stared at her confused, eyes traveling back down to the amounts of blood soaking through your clothes and Dina doing what she could to stop it and she seen the shock that entered your gaze.

The terror.

"Hey, look at me." Her hand shook your head getting your eyes to flicker back to hers. "It hurts..." "We have to get you back babe." You shook your head not quite understanding what was happening.

"She's delirious." Dina stated earning a look from Ellie, which she didn't understand until you began freaking out. "No m'not, let me go. What's happening?" You tried sitting up only for Ellie to stop you, "take it easy." "I wanna go home Ellie."

You began to cry, forgetting why you were upset with her and forgetting the entire argument. Reaching out for her to hold you, though as much as she wanted to sit there and comfort you she knew you didn't have a lot of time.

"Jesse I need your help."

The entire way back to the horses went by so fast you weren't even sure how you'd gotten there. Clutching onto Ellie's belt loops while pressed into her chest, the girl too worried you'd fall off sitting behind her.

You moved, feeling the warm blood trickling down your side and soaking against your jeans. Pushing your face from her shirt and looking up to her with big tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry." It was like she didn't hear you though, dead set on getting home. If you weren't so out of it you would've noticed the fear in her eyes and the way she bit her lip to the point it bled. Or the way she tightly held onto your body so you didn't fall over and hit the ground.

By the time the group made it back to Jackson you'd passed out. The blood dripping off your leg and onto the cement the entire way to the medic house.

And the entire way Joel carried you, Ellie only stared, seeing you disappear in the distance. Covered in red, her white shirt crimson soaked, and it was all yours, and it was her fault.

At least that's what she believed.

"Hey." Was the first thing you heard when you woke up, soft and delicate. Just like every morning when you'd hear it muttered into your ear.

"What happened?" You muttered, rubbing your eyes and squirming around the bed you were laid in. "You got shot." "Oh." You said quite simply making her laugh under her breath. "It hurts a little." "You're on a lot of drugs." She laughed, "They had to dig it out of your hip."

You looked at her with big eyes, a beat of silence passing in the room.

"There was a bullet inside me?"

She chuckled a bit, seeing you smile and grab at her hand messing with her fingers.

"Yeah." "That's scary." "You're telling me."

It was quiet for a moment, your soft breathing the only thing left in the room while you messed with the pads of her fingers. Tapping each one before looking up at her.

"You were mean to me." "I know." Her voice was soft, staring at you will tears in her eyes. "Are you sorry?" "Yeah." "Look at me."

Ellie slowly moved to look into your eyes, your hand coming up to rest on her chin keeping her head up.

"I'm sorry.." You pouted as she began to cry, a few tears falling down her freckled cheeks. "Don't cry El." You wiped away the stray tears from her cold face, kissing the very tip of her nose.

"I'm okay now." You smiled, pressing your forehead against hers. "But you owe me big time." "I know."

"I love you Ellie. Even when you're so damn stubborn and argumentative and a dick."

"Geez, got anymore insults?" "A shit ton." "I deserve it." "Only some of them."

A/n: vibes my laptop is dyinggggg

[pjoxreader]

Hiiii! Can I request Hazel Levesque, Frank Zhang, and Jason Grace with a possessed reader headcannons 👀

Possessed Reader

((I had a lot of fun with this one! I hope you enjoy!))

Frank Zhang

-He knows it’s not you in there. He knows it deep in his gut, but his heart was aching seeing you tied to a chair. 

-He volunteered to watch over you while the others were getting Piper. They needed to use her charmspeak to get the Eidolon out of you for good. But it seems the Eidolon saw the weakness in his eyes, the anger and hate falls from your face morphing to confusion. -”F-Frank? What’s going on…?” You call to him, voice shaking. Frank has to sit down in the chair across from you, smoothing his hair back. It wasn’t you, it was a trick. He tries to control himself by taking a shaky breath.

-”You were possessed. We’re waiting on Piper to charmspeak you out of it.” Frank says trying his best to keep his voice neutral but seeing the pain in your eyes made it hard.

-”My wrists hurt… C-Can you loosen the rope a little at least?” you plead with him a few tears in your eyes. Frank takes a shaky breath making his way over to adjust the rope. There’s no way he could let you be hurt even if you were possessed…

-”Stop!” You snap your head angrily to the voice and see none other than Piper there catching her breath. Frank stops too, making you curse in frustration something you would have never done as you try to get free, struggling against the restraints. You were so close! So close! 

-After the charmspeaking session your mind was foggy, at least you were back in control… You see Frank holding your hand, his eyes filled with utter worry and concern but seeing it was you he sighs in relief and hugs you close, nearly crushing you in a bear hug. You laugh as much as you could while being crushed patting his shoulder as that’s as far as your arm could reach “I’m alright big guy… I’m ok…”

Hazel Levesque 

-She was familiar with ghosts. She knew them well, she was one at one point in her life after all. But she never, ever wanted to see those glossed over dead eyes on you. It didn’t help that you were staring into her soul.

-She takes a shaky breath, gently taking your hand. “It’ll be alright… Piper will be here any minute.” She tries to soothe you, well also herself but she didn’t need that to be known. You don’t even blink as you stare.

-”You don’t deserve this. Hazel Levesque you have already died. Why do you deserve a second chance at life when I don’t.” you say coldly to her. You feel your heart squeeze. What were you saying? You didn’t feel that way…

-It only hurts worse when you watch her flinch, looking away from your eyes. “I know.” she says softly but she still doesn’t let go of your hand. Your heart aches at that and you want nothing more than to take those words back. 

-”I know I don’t deserve this second chance, but I have it… So… So I’m going to use every second I have of it… No regrets.” she says with a small smile and looks at you with kindness in her eyes. “Here…”

-She takes out a Reese's peanut butter cup from her pocket “Piper will be here any second… So you don’t have much time now, enjoy what you can until you’re forced to leave.” your heart warms at her words. Even though this ghost, this shade was possessing you and said such cruel things she was still kind. And sure enough you feel yourself eat the offered candy. “It’s good…” you say softly, feeling the tears fall down your face. 

Jason Grace

-He was a leader. He had to be strong, smart and critical. There was no room for mistakes. But that led him here, with you tied up in a chair across from him.

-He had called for the others to get piper but someone had to stay and watch over you. So he volunteered. It was deathly silent as the two of you stared at each other. The silence was cold, unnatural even. Normally you’re there cracking jokes and making him smile.

-”you’re going to fail.” you say simply and grin at him. “You’ll never be the hero people expect you to be.” you taunt him, feeling guilt creep in your heart as you can only watch. You’d never say these cruel things to him.

-”I may not be the hero people expect me to be… But… I’ll be the hero I want to be.” he says and looks right into your eyes determination clear on his face as he smiles softly.

-”Someone very important taught me that.” you feel your heart melt and it’s as if he was looking right at you.

-Piper comes in with that, Jason taking your hand while she goes through with the charmspeak. He gently rubs small but soothing circles on your hand. You look over at him with a sleepy daze and a soft smile. His face melts in relief as he smooths some hair behind your ear. “Welcome home.”

~Masterlist & Rules~

Like my writing? Please consider sending me a Ko-fi! ☕

[icravebooks]

Yoonseon era

Summary: getting to know yoongi seem to just confuse you further, it's even more hard to not see him in a different light when he keeps showing you sides of him that you don't think people are aware of.

The tenses is about to increase when yoongi decides to reveal his love language.

Warning: fluff, yoongi being a softie and I am getting hella warm just thinking about how cute he is being, reader is having mood swings, yoongi is being concerned and let's see, mention of painful cramps, nothing that i find triggering.

Word count: 4.8k

Side note: i kinda heavily edited this one too and have to do same to the upcoming chapter after this which I will be uploading today. I hope you guys enjoy this.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 7

Part 6

It has been nearly a month since you came here, your phone died down on you by the end of the very first week of your arrival to this place. A month taught you alot about how things worked around here, the maids were still a touch overbearing but you have made them break out of it alot of times.

You tried this whole time to grasp as much about yoongi as you could, he might have been considered a tyrant but he was a good king, People said He was dangerous but he never was quite oblivious of his duty to his people, he made sure his subjects were fed, crime was not out of hand, judgment was fair. He was exactly tyrant or perhaps people of this time really needed to see a tyrant King, however people feared yoongi and who didn't fear him respected no matter how small that number of people was it was enough to keep yoongi in control of his empire and running it nicely. You had come to admired how he was so serious to his duties instead of being selfish like anyone would expect of a person like him.

He was still cold according to people but you had seen some sides of him that the world seem to be unaware off and you weren't exactly in a hurry to let the world see it, you had been having meals with him every since and that was the time you told him about how things worked in future, it had to be one of the most fun time of your day since you came here, how couldn't it be when the whole time you got to see him giving you beautiful big doe eyes, his expression so intriguing that you often couldn't fight back a smile of appreciation, you were sure that if Shakespeare would have been korean instead of English, he would have wrote poetries about yoongi's beauty and the best part of yoongi was that scar of his.

It wasn't hideous some might think it looked hideous but if you were to describe it, the scar was actually a part of him that showed his bravery, it was a medal that was supposed to be wore with pride, it was a part of his past that was like a siren call pulling you towards him even more.

Anyhow, yoongi seems to be really curious of the future life, maybe being a king made him even more interested, he had been very much intergruied by the theory of government and how the whole power thing worked in future, although he had scoffed at the idea of democracy he still found some of the rules interesting. You would occasionally talk about your life to him, how you were brought up and what you wanted to do. Yoongi would always listen with such devotion that your heart couldn't stop making you think of him in so many other ways. You couldn't see him in the same light as his subjects, you knew he was far too wronged by everyone, a man who has to live according to people's own prejudice towards him when he has nothing to be at fault for. That one bitter thought leaving a sour taste in your heart, you heart yearned about how he became who he was today.

But he never once talked about his family or how his childhood was, he had always laughed and gave you a smile of adornment when you had talked about how much of a headache you were as a child. That had made your heart flutter a lot more times than his secretive past had sting, however Him being  a total different person to how people describe him when he was around you made you think less and embarrassed yourself infront of him more. you had even started to bond better although ironically  no other romantic moment was gifted to you ever since the garden one.

You like to consider it as you guys were friends, he had taken your advice on a lot of matter and it has also reached your ears that people are starting to change their opnion about him, The gossip about you being his mysterious love interest has also been circulating since day two when some of the maids saw you guys taking a walk near the lake while you both were trying to push each other into the lake, let's just say yoongi was actually a goofball in all true form.

You had been curious since the start about how he got that scar on his face, although you didn't dare to ask him cause it seemed like a very harsh memory that you wouldn't want him to talk about , you were also dubious that you were not that close yet or certainly never would be, no matter how bad that made it sting, that was the truth an undeniable one at that. Not Letting your feelings grow you decided to just delude yourself in thinking that you were merely intrigued by him and that scar, So to suffice your burn of curiosity you resorted to the most convenient option gossips, and who could be better reliable for it than someone who was there through the whole unfold of events, head lady shin served as the perfect source she recounted for you about how the previous king was a loved one, both of yoongi's parents were a love match.

their love story was quite swoon worthy his mother was the daughter of a botanist and yoongi father had a knack for plants leading to both of their meeting and then a marriage that was opposed by few nobles. Hearing that you were sure that the garden yoongi had was something even more personal than you had thought of it to be, it left you wondering if you would ever even know about what true possession it was, what his parents and his life was, his parents were madly in love and within a year in their marriage had yoongi.

they were the perfect happy family, yoongi was probably the pampered child and your heart had almost melted when you had imagined a chubby little one  throwing tantrums but when you learned that upon yoongi turning 8 an assassination took place which resulting in his parents death your whole heart crashed you literally shut off on hearing that piece of information.

the person who was behind this whole assassination was some king who was enemies with yoongi's father, he didn't killed yoongi though and you couldn't help the tears already thinking of the 8 years old who was orphaned in an instant, the child who would have the seen the whole living nightmare.the child who was sent to some other place as of an exile, the child who knew affection being given a life of loneliness, you wanted to scream or cry on his behalf feeling anger prick at your skin over how could even people consider him tyrant when he was in all honesty a victim. rumors had it that when yoongi came back the scar was already there on his face and he was no longer an innocent pity child he was a 18 years old psycho burning for revenge which he did take, he killed his parents criminal with his own hands.

The death of the king was done so heinous that people shudder just at the mere mention of it, though it wasn't disclosed to you, you didn't actually felt remorse for the enemy king, it may have left a dark twisted glimpse to the old you but this version of you who knew what yoongi was like, the one who had seen the affectionate side of him, the one who knew that he had to keep a facade up all day long didn't feel pity or sympathy for anyone aside yoongi. After that revenge, yoongi took over the regin and had been ruling since then but you knew that just claiming what was rightfully his wasn't enough, call it insanity but you could actually feel the unsatisfactory of the whole turn of events.

Not letting the feeling get the best of you, You asked the head lady about how he got the scar all she told you was that nobody knew exactly how some say it was done by a bear who yoongi had combated with and had taken down, some say it was done by the king who killed his parents, some even say that yoongi himself did that just to keep it as a reminder of how he lost his parents.

Whatever you heard just left you feeling even more drawn to yoongi, ofcourse he was no good guy he had killed more people than you had seen within this little while of time spent here and he was strict even the slightest of mistake was taken as a huge sin by him. But you couldn't even feel a single ounce of fear when you were beside him, not when all he had ever done is sheilding you from any possible hurt verbal or physical.

he felt like...a safe place, you had not seen him do anything extreme dark but you were slightly doubtful that it would do nothing to scare you away, but to play safe you preferred not to getting involved into politics here because you were really not someone who could handle how things worked around here.

All in all he was a tyrant no doubt but there was some light within him and that's all you wanted to keep focusing on. Blame the dark romance book your read but you would rather have a villan than a hero.

You guys were getting along just good, you weren't going to be stupid and bring a wall between you. You were losing count of how many days you had been here which was lucky solved by the arrival of your periods always punctual to visit you after every 25 - 30 days.

That was why you were currently in your room cluchting your stomach and moaning in pain, additional to this your mood was pissed beyond pissed caused you didn't had a proper pad, you didn't even knew which Era you were in and there were no freaking pads!, so at last you had to arrange for something that could be used as a pad and thanks to the hack you once saw on your Instagram that you were able to make something somewhat similar to a pad. It still left you pissed, if anger was illustrated by animation there would have been a Grey cloud with lighting striking on top of your head.

"Lady y/n his highness will be expecting you for lunch." Lady shin informed making you roll your eyes, that would be the last thing you would want to be concerned about when you were literally similar to a fish without water, "tell him I won't be able to join him." You instructed turning to the other side and closing your eyes, you didn't mean to be rude but periods has its ways to bring out the worst in you and make you be a bitch. "wouldn't he question about the reason?" One of the other maid, yona said she was somewhere around your age and you had actually started to consider her as a friend. However her words currently didn't help, if anything it just made you clench your jaw in annoyance.

"Just tell him I am a bit under the weather." You stated waving your hand but ended up gritting your teeth as your cramps start to act up, it was silent for a few minutes as they left you alone to rest. Your cramps had started to get worst and worst never in your life had you faced extremely painful cramps, you had always had minimal one and when the pain became unbearable you were quick on gulping down a pain killer. That idea seem to not be valid for today, so you had no other choice than to suck it up and be a woman. Males they say are strong, giving them a one time try on periods cramp and then we will see who are actually strong.

"Yona." You called out not able to hold yourself still anymore, yoh sat up as you untied your hairs that were braided and used the scrunchie you had to tie your hairs atop In a lose bun. You felt glad that you had landed hear with you tourist bag which had all you stuffs in it, Your clothes, some of your other Essentials.

it had came in handy when you were telling yoongi about your world and he even had requested you for a few things so that he could ask his workers to try making them. Like the clothes they could be made same went for rubber bands and scrunchies, you even helped them make a full length mirror that was now settled on a corner in you room and was currently displaying the messed up state you were in, you looked like shit but who cares.

"You need something lady y/n?" Yona asked as she entered inside with a small smile gracing her lips making you frown, "before that how many more times am I to tell you to not call me that?" You pointed folding your arms and scowling at her, she just gave you a sheepish grin making you shake your head with a dismissive sigh, making friends with ladies of old times was fun they said, now you know not to trust kdramas a little too much. Stifling another frustrated sigh you decided to speak.

"can you ask the cook to heat up some raw rice and wrap it in a cloth  and bring me that." You requested her and she opened her mouth slightly looking curious but nodded anyway probably thinking about missteping all those boundaries that lady shin talks about, "Don't worry I will show you what it's for." You assured her chuckling at her curiosity while she just gave you an apprehensive grin.

Once you were done with the instructions and yona had left you looked around the room trying to distract your mind, you definitely were going to skip lunch. You definitely not felt like eating with how bad your stomach was being, you wanted to curse at your ovaries but then again that wouldn't change a thing. You could try reading or maybe painting wait did you even knew how to paint using the old equipment,it would be a good distraction though but that could also make your sour mood even more sour but- You were cut off from your train of thoughts by a knock on your door, which made you look up  at the same time as you shouted a come in.

What an unusual sight!

you didn't expected to see yoongi standing there looking at you with concern written all over his face, your mind racing a kilometre a minute just with the sight of his face you were sure you heart was still beating your brain on that marathon, you smiled nonetheless at the sight of him waving your hand at him as he closed the door behind him and walked to where you were.

You patted the place beside you and he was quick to take a seat next to you, how indecent even this was according to people's of his time but you didn't care, you wanted to know though what would people have to say if they saw yoongi and you right now.  "I heard you were sick." He sounded a little too worried which made you chuckle slightly, "not exactly sick but just a little under the weather maybe." You stated giving him an assuring smile while he assessed you as if not able to believe your words. His gaze was so dark and serious that your insides shivered by the merely look in them, your period hormone controlled brain taking you to all the horny edges.

"What?" You laughed awkwardly praying for your cheeks to not give you out but you doubted that considering you could actually feel the warmth spreading all over your body, yoongi shrugged frowning a little looking extremely displeased, "you don't believe me?, i am completely fine yoongi, it's nothing big." You assured him placing your hand on his shoulder and giving it an reassuring squeeze, the way yoongi's eyes assessed made your stomach flip but that look of disappointment left an unsettling feeling within you, your brain now catching up to the fact that you looked like shit and self consciousness burning your cheeks brighter.

"Then why didn't you join me for lunch?" His question drew you out he sounded  little whine and you bit back a smile, he was such a goofball and the worst part was he was totally unaware of that fact, God you could squish him right now, shower his face with kisses...okay let's stop right there, "I didn't wanted you to catch an.. infection ?" You weren't even sure why you were lying, but you weren't really sure if he had any idea about periods or not and this was the best your brain could do with the tense in your mind and stomach increasing with his gaze that was unwavering.

"You are lying." He grounded out making you looked at him with a surprised expression, you were a bit taken aback when you saw how his eyes hardened and a look of pain took over his face making you feel guilty for some reason. Ofcourse you shouldn't have lied to him but was telling him even an option?

"Don't you dare to tell me other wise, i have been here with you for some time now and you haven't coughed or sneezed once what else could cause an infection." He was quick at pointing out things and even was a good observer never a surprise considering he was a ruler, you didn't know how to answer him but still opened your mouth only to clench your jaw right after it as your lower abdomen felt like your heart was beating there instead of your chest. A sharp pain shooting through your body and making you grit your teeths in pain.

You placed a hand on your stomach out of reflex while you tried to take deep breathes, "are you okay?" Yoongi's deep voice which was almost shrieking made your attention turn to him, your mind returning from the pain haziness to administer the fact that you weren't alone you bit your lower lip nodding your head not wanting to worry him, "hold on a moment let me call for the royal physician." He announced all you comfort thaat had arrived just for a second leaving, your eyes widen when he got up from his spot, you quickly latched onto his hand trying to stop him. You breathed in ready to speak thinking he would understand the meaning behind your hold on him but seems like he miss interpreted it to be a pain reflex.

you wanted to stop him but Too late he already had called for the head eunuch, who seem to have been standing just outside the door and walked in as quick as you blinked. "Bring over the royal physician." He instructed while you looked between him and the eunuch, you knew what went through the eunuch's brain at the possible contact between you and yoongi but you were too fucked up to give a fuck about him, all you attention was currently on the man who was acting totally ridiculous.

"yoongi no!" You exclaimed in disapproval trying to stop him, making both him and the head eunuch look at you. You were sure to the watcher's eyes this very scene had a whole new angle which said that yoongi was fucking you and had caused a little secret but honestly you were overthinking or maybe you weren't thinking, what the hell was going on here in the first place, you were beyond frustrated and where the damn did yona go?!

"Don't you dare to tell me you aren't in pain, I can see it clear on your face." Yoongi scolded you giving you a shake of his head reminding you where you were,b he was right you were almost on the verge of moaning out in pain, you breathe a little labored and your teeths clenched. Why the fuck were you having such bad cramps?, or was it always this worst and you never noticed caused you took painkillers?, whatever it was this just might give you a whole different level of second hand embarrassment and you are way too sensible to live up to that.

Before you could put in another disapproval the eunuch had left the room with him you had to bid goodbye to your senses too cause no way in hell were you going to be able to live up to the embarrassment minutes away, yoongi distracted you from every sane thought of yours that at the moment was screaming in anger, he sat down infront of you  and he looked hesitant but that look on his eyes was speaking volumes too much volumes for someone who was apparently was experiencing the worst pain she had ever had in life, talk about giving birth huh maybe you would pass on that.

You almost sobbed when yoongi's rough hands cupped your face too softly that you sighed in a little relief,  you looked at him with tha exhaustion that was starting to weight down on you, his face was one of clear concern, his brows furrowed while his lips were slightly parted and there were wrinkles forming on the side of his eyes as he narrowed them looking at you, you wanted to reach forward and sooth those wrinkles down but you doubt they were gonna go anywhere until he was sure that you were healthy and perfectly fine. Even in this whole chaos your eyes were once again drawn to the scar you just wanted to gentle trace it with you finger maybe even kiss it, see how it feels against your lip.

"Tell me truthfully where does it pain?" He questioned his voice was a comforting wishper, it left you doubting if you had be cared for like this since forever, you wanted to cry blame it on periods but you really wanted to cry when he questioned you like that. "yoongi." That's all you could manage to whisper softly, another word and you bet you would be crying an ocean for fucked up reasons,  you closed your eyes leaning into his touch, what the heck was he doing with you heart?, did you even had your heart with yourself anymore or was it his already, you couldn't help the slight prick in your tear glands  when the ironic truth over took your heart.

"you can tell me." Yoongi sounded so soothing when he assured you encouraging you with a smile,  you smiled back placing your hand over his, a pinch to your heart making you want to laugh at his assurance, will he still be this kind if you told him what he was starting to make you feel.

"I am totally fine yoongi, trust me I am not sick it's just..it's.." you couldn't complete your words the door was being knocked again, a sigh ignited from your chest, you both pull away from each other with a blush coating your cheeks but your heart was a little heavy, you weren't able to even feel embarrassed or any other emotions as another wave of pain shot through your stomach making you Groan.

Great now it gets even more difficult to convince yoongi that you didn't needed a doctor, you wanted to roll your eyes but the exhaustion was real and the frustration let's not talk about that.

"your highness." The unfamiliar voice made your head shot up towards the source, your eyes widen in panick as you were met with the sight of a man nearly in his 50s, this just keeps getting better and better. You had to be one of the luckiest or unlucky woman to have to explain periods infront of a 50 years old man and a king, you would have made a sarcastic comment had the situation not be so serious.

"Yoongi I don't need a doctor." You stated with a firm shake of your head the similar of which was yoongi's reply. Either this man was going to be the death of you or vice versa, he matched you on being stubborn and that always had it's way of crawling up your ass.

"You will have to leave the room your highness, I will see to what the problem is." The physician said made your brows furrow while you glared at him and then at yoongi who just nodded and got up from his seat, you no way in hell are gonna let this show on any further.

"oh hell no, I am perfectly fine there is no need to see to anything." You objected crossing your arms while the old man seem to choke on his spit at your outraged behavior or thee fact that you just blasphemy, yoongi just glared at you which your shrugged off. The older really might be having a heartattack seeing the way you were competing yoongi's glare.

"Oh really you call groaning like that completely fine or the way you have .." you cut him off by suddenly shouting not able to hold the dam of emotions back anymore, "because I am having my periods you dimwit!" You shouted making both of them look at you with puzzled expression.

"what is  periods?" Yoongi questioned looking between you and the physician, any other time you loved when yoongi asked you questioned this time you were feeling nothing but rage, yoongi might have considered that maybe the physician knew the answer to it, He did just not the term you used. You didn't wanted to speak out about this men forbidden topic honestly you didn't even know why you were trying to hide this in the first place, you never had done this before but you never had been in some another era ever before.

"My monthly course if that's what you guys call it." You announced grumbling making both of the males face turn bright red while you just scoffed at the sight of them, so much for brave men. "What about the pain?" Yoongi questioned more like himself but maybe he spoke out his thoughts because the look on his face after spilling those words were of a bit cringe and had you not been recovering from a fire mood you would have admired it or teased him.

"it's common your highness not a big deal, nothing to worry about." The physician explained In a dismissive voice and that's the last straw your head snap in his direction so fast that you were sure you would have got whiplash.

Now that triggered you, "not a big deal?, how do you know have you ever had them?, just because women don't let on how much pain they go through doesn't makes it is less of a pain. " You snapped making the old man look at you as a deer caught in headlight, his expression morphed from shocked to scared in seconds, he seemed so astonished since he had entered the room that you doubted he would say a word good about you to people, he bowed apologizing which made your rub your face In frustration, yoongi was quick to dismiss him probably understanding just how pissed you were.

Once it was again just the two of you he sat down beside you not actually meeting your eyes as he looked out through the little window that was in your room, "is it always like this?" He questioned after a moment of serene passed between you both, you look at him with a smile not able to help yourself with the realisation that yoongi genuinely cared, "no..it can be but i am not entirely educated about what triggers these cramps." You answered keeping your tone soft, you saw him nod in understanding. It again turned silent between you both you could feel the pain subdue a little but the pain was still there and your whole attention was on the cramps.

"Can i help you In any way?"yoongi's question genuinely surprised you, it even more so ever steal your breath away when he turned his face towards you, his expressions so soft and a small almost not evidient  smile appearing on his face, God you hated yourself for feeling butterflies just at the bare minimum but that's what made you realise it was far more than just attraction you felt for him, you sure were falling for him.

[sweetmage]

Rambling about my made up Niall lore because I'm obsessed with him now and just wanna ramble!!

Putting it under the cut because it's super long 😅

I decided that Valentin (my m!Surana who had an unspoken romantic relationship going with him) and Niall simply cannot be alive in the same timeline…

Anyway, after Val dies during Uldred's whole situation (never even got to see Niall become an enchanter🥲 ) Niall takes the Isolationist thing very very seriously. No longer because he has a "foolish" dream that he might whisk Val away somewhere better but because it is no longer a suggestion but a demand.

He does not trust those that don't have magic, not even just templars. They are all one in the same. They judge, they isolate, and they kill. There will be no peace and safety for mages until they have built a fortified a place for just them. There is no understanding or bridging their differences at this point.

He was already a pessimistic and dour guy since the beginning of the mage origin and I HC that, despite being friendly, he wasn't the most approachable guy for that reason. I think he meshed well with Val's personality and unwillingness to lay down roots though and they just kinda clicked. To lose someone, especially someone who has fought so hard for freedom and to make a place for himself… I honestly think it just kinda broke him. I'm thinking Niall doesn't die during the circle tower quest, but he doesn't succeed either.

So he is just kinda like "I cannot help anyone, I can't save anyone, I can't escape this place, I can't do anything". I have absolutely no idea who the warden is in this case but maybe some words from them would help.

I am thinking that's the turning point where he sees exactly what it is that caused this to happen (in his opinion). Yes, Uldred was doing something fucked up, but it came because he (and magic) were repeatedly undermined and dismissed.

Yes, they were wrong (him wanting to ally with Loghain and all) but they were born of desperation.

And beyond that the actions of one man caused the templars, whose job it is to protect the circle and cut down abominations, left them all to die.

They would never know the horror that went on in there while they all ran and secluded themselves. Mages having to hide and turn to extremes to fend for themselves against demons (to which they are most susceptible) and other mages (to which they lack the power to stop, unlike templars who are trained to do that).

I don't consider him to be a very angry or impassioned person really, I can't really see it, at least not at this point.

But he survived when he had no right, reason, or desire to. He could at least do his part to try to do something in the aftermath of failure after failure on his part.

Of course like… sadly in the end this ultimately affects nothing (at least as far as he is concerned)😔Yet again he has failed to make a difference. BUT! I am thinking post-DA2 he's still kicking about and takes on some sort of a guide role for other apostates trying to survive during the war.

I need him to look back and feel like he has done absolutely nothing but fail the circle and everyone in it only to turn around and find that there are people who are looking to him for guidance. He survived impossible odds several times over, he has used his position as an enchanter to help and speak up for mages when he can, etc.

People saw that and people who are frightened and don't know what to do might see that still.

I have been working on fleshing out the group of isolationist mages he leads around and is basically the leader of (he is kinda like a pathetic but trustworthy mayor in my head, idk lol).

I am trying to give them a variety of backgrounds, lifestyles, and opinions (even opinions I don't agree with. Gotta have variety and conflicts and the like) and it's been fun so far!

[pearblossommina]

ToG Read-a-Long, Queen of Shadows, day 9

I’m so normal about this chapter set you guys

Ch 52

"Not yet," he said roughly, his own breathing uneven. "Not now.”

BOO

BOOOOOOO

Rowan you TEASE. How dare you.

Please, my crops, they’re so dry. Please. Chomp down on her neck. Mark her up, be a beast, I know you want to do it, SO DO IT! You think Aedion has never heard the sound of people having sex in the next room?!? It’s fine! He’s a big boy, he’ll get over it!

You can be as loud as the hell you want when you’re making love, don’t let the neighbors stop you from having fun; they’ll have peace and quiet when you’re good and done.

Ch 53

AGAIN?!?

(SJM: hey are you turned on? Excited to read a chapter about Rowan and Aelin dancing around the idea of maybe potentially consummating?)

(Me: yeah yeah gimme gimme!)

(SJM: *writes about Dorian filled with doom and gloom and sorrow instead*)

(Me: *sigh*)

Who edited this. Who let her get away with this. I need to know where to send the bill for my whiplash.

Ch 54

Heyyyy well this is a surprise

Kaltain beat back the demon

(With fire) (mmmm)(sounds good I’m pretty sure we can muster some fire)

Good job Kaltain, can you tell our baby boy Dorian!

Ch 55

Lysandra god damn it

How dare you get kidnapped, my crops are turning to dust in the field and I’m so thirsty, I can’t be concerned for you right now

You better not be about to be killed violently like Nehemia

(I can’t keep going through all this intensity) (I CAN’T)(my feelings are all over the place)(what is even going ON)

Ch 56

I feel like I am actually being pranked right now

There is no way

There is no way she can keep getting away with this

Is the next chapter going to be another sad Dorian chapter, SMH

how much longer can these two possibly hold out! Another temptation and another postponement… yeesh

Ch 57

I’m getting so sick of all the war and high stakes stuff happening in this book

I AM IN HELL

Like genuinely I can tell this is important and I should care about what’s going on right now and yet, HEAD EMPTY, DON’T CARE

I WISH I CARED

BUT I DON’T

Ch 58

Plot!

I care a little bit

It made me kinda excited when Dorian managed to talk in his own voice, Dorian, what the hell have you been waiting for? The right moment when Aelin happened to be watching?

Lol

Is grandmother Matron fucking the king?

Probably not, since he has a wife

I just want to see Manon eat everybody, actually

Ch 59

My how the turn tables, CHAOL WANTS TO KILL DORIAN NOW

Chaol, are you fucking kidding me? This whole time you have been the only one holding onto hope

How could you let your hopes die now? Don’t you believe in good triumphing over evil? Weren’t you fighting for a better world, for humanity or whatever? What happened, Chaol? I thought you were on my side.

I thought we were doofuses together

Don’t leave me here to be a doofus by myself

I find Manon so sexy especially how she just effortlessly holds Chaol captive. I still think Baba Yellowlegs is the silliest name for any villain, it just rolls off the tongue in such a funny way. Shouldn’t Manon be glad that Baba Yellowlegs died, though? I mean maybe it’s bad when a witch dies because they’re so strong, but the fact that she died is what caused her and the other clans to join together and rival for a new Wing Leader, sooooo actually, Aelin did you a service, baby. If you look at the bright side. If you are capable of looking at the bright side.

Lol

Yeah! fight each other

Hot!

Ch 60

“If he had been one inch farther behind, it would have hit his heart.”

Aw shit be careful Rowan! You can’t be out here getting mortally wounded! I am so sick of it! Get your act together, what do you think this is, an action novel? NO, dummy, it’s a steamy romance, I don’t have time for your bleeding heart heroics! Literally!

The Manon x Aelin fight is pretty hot actually

I am here for it

Guys this chapter set gave me hell

IT GAVE ME HELL

It wasn’t a very LONG set but boy was it hard for me to pay attention lmao, and I KNEW, I KNEW the stuff happening after the Rowaelin tease was important but I was like what the actual fuck is this! Get back in bed! No! I hate myself - I hate everything!

[bushs-world]

Loki's evolution (from bad to good)

Just thinking about the fact how Loki went from an antagonist and morally bad person in Thor to a genuinely good person in the series. His character growth in the series is always so special to me, seeing him shed all his villianous qualities and flaws, his selfishness and his total disregard to other people's safety and genuinely growing into a person who cares about lives lost and the damage and suffering caused to normal people.

In the movies, Loki always had a total disregard for innocent lives and was always willing to sacrifice a few people if it helped him or benefitted him. For him, other people and their lives were expendable and he was not scared to throw people into danger if it helped him get what he wanted. Sure, he didn't go around wanting to kill for fun but he was more than willing to push a few to their deaths for his own advantage.

In Thor, he unleashed frost giants in the weapons vault, without caring about the guards who died, unleashed the destroyer on Earth again without caring if humans got hurt and then tried to commit genocide. In Avengers, he unleashed a whole army of chitauri on New York and happily pulled out eyeballs. In TDW, he helped the Kurse even tho he knew people will be killed. In Ragnarok, he preferred staying in Sakaar than save the Asgardians from Hela n was willing to capture Thor for his benefit.

But in the series, we see Loki show real regard to innocent lives. He was ashamed of the deaths he caused in Avengers and admitted he didn't enjoy killing people. He was concerned about the people of Lamentis being left behind and only the wealthy getting in the ark. He was worried over the old woman who chose to stay behind, and was worried over the lies told to the TVA workers. Sure, he isn't a total hero who goes and rescues people but he shows empathy and regard to innocent lives put in danger rather than how he rarely cared in the movies. Then in episode 6, his only driving force when he's stopping Sylvie from killing HWR is that they might unleash something much worse. For a guy who was willing to burn everything for his own needs, it was heartwarming to see him care about the universe being in balance and wanting to take the right decision.

Another thing I love is how he showed remorse and guilt over his mistakes. In TDW, Loki doesn't feel any remorse or guilt for the lives lost on Earth. He goes on justifying his actions to both Frigga and Odin, thinking he was justified in his attack. Instead he kept pushing the blame on others or denying any responsibility by trying to use Odin's past as a shield. Its only when his mother died did he start to change.

In the series however, Loki is shown to be ashamed when Mobius shows him a recording of new york. He looks away in shame, he is sad when Mobius tells him he is born to cause pain and suffering. He's ashamed when Miss Minutes and HWR bring up the battle of New York. He even accepts to Mobius he doesn't like killing people.

He shows so much growth and development from the first episode itself but it's not until he meets Sylvie that he really starts to grow. The thing that makes Sylvie so great and inspiring for him is that she isn't bound by the same flaws and shortcomings like him. She isn't looking for power or validation, she is fighting against a fascist organisation and is trying to give people free will. She shows Loki he can be more than what the world thinks he can be and her presence inspires him to be better.

That's not to say that Sylvie doesn't have flaws of her own. She also has their issues, trauma and flaws to work through and funnily it's Loki who can reach out to her and help her out. That's what I love about sylki that they are perfectly balanced and compliment each other.

But the biggest growth imo is how loki addressed women. He really went from threatening assault on Jane and calling Natasha a mewling quim to addressing Ravonna as madam 🤣🤣🤣

[therowan]

WHY BUCK AND EDDIES’ STORY MATTERS

So I felt the need to post in pride month about and why I resonate with the characters of Buck and Eddie so much. I’m what you’d call a late bloomer when it comes to relationships being something of an introvert, having serious self image/body dimorphism so bad that I had to stop modeling in my twenties because I was making myself ill with self loathing and depression at not meeting the standards of others around me. I had a lot of opportunities to ‘hook’ up with both men and women but never really synched with the whole surfacey vibe of the people around me. Never a hit it or quit it type. During my sojourn into modeling I made a friend who was in retail sales and she was my perfect Yang she was outgoing loud dynamic and fun. We ended up being friends for years until her finance cheated on her and she needed a place to live and I became her safe haven. Long story short our friendship bloomed in love and the love evolved into desire and the rest of what I always thought everyone was looking so hard for…a friend that you love mind body and soul. We married saved up bought a house and within a few months were the proud parents of a beautiful daughter. I finished college changed my career into psychology and she opened a boutique. Then 18 months after our daughter was born she was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma and after three years of surgeries/chemo/treatments she died. Leaving me a widower at the age of 29 with a three year old daughter. After my wife died I fell into the role I had. Father, homeowner provider. I didn’t date or even think about finding anyone else. Simply worked and took care of my house and my child. As part of my work I took part in counseling and discovered a great therapist who helped me navigate my grief and pervasive depression. He challenged me to strike out and try something that frightened me to shake me up a bit. So I chose weight lifting/MMA classes. I suddenly was out in the world and discovered myself a bit more as I gained more confidence I began making new friends.

And here’s where the Eddie/Buck thing comes into play. I made a friend with a guy a bit younger than me. We’d hang, he’d help me with fixing up house or yard when able. He was great with my daughter like a member of my family. Our hangouts were consistent usually when he wasn’t on a date with some random girl he’d be over my house cooking dinner with us, playing video games having drinks playing music etc. it all changed one night we were invited to a mutual friends wedding and had to travel a distance to get there. We figured a hotel room would be the safest bet since it was so far away and knew both of us would be drinking. After a long and fun night we stumbled back to hotel showered collapsed on bed and we both lay there in the silence. When suddenly my friend sat up and said “I can’t lay here without saying this.” He edged over to the side of his bed and put his head I. His hands. Concerned I got up and went over to sit next to him worried that maybe something had happened either to his family or with his health so I told him. “ you can always talk to me…you can tell me anything.” And he did…he told me that he’d been in love with me for years, but didn’t want to be “gay” he said he just could t find a woman he felt the same way towards and it was eating him up inside. He began crying and apologizing for ruining our friendship and begged me not to stop being his friend. I embraced him and holding him in my arms and wiping away his tears it hit me how much I was in love with this blubbering mess of insecurities. We didn’t do anything that night but fell asleep in each other’s arms. In the morning with clearer heads we walked down the shoreline and slowly talked it out. Two straight men in their thirties who had been best friends realized on that weird May morning that they both loved each other. We started slow. Kisses holding until finally about a week later it just evolved and we both came to the realization that “yeah…not straight” since then I’ve realized and processed that I’m demisexual I need emotional love he’s realized that he’s more on the bisexual spectrum. The reason that Buck/Eddie resonate with me is that I lived that. I never expected to find my soul mate in my best friend. But it was something we had been making all along. Thanks for listening and being here along with me.

[ufonaut]

out of curiosity, what's your recommended reading for Rex Tyler?

REXY MY FRIEND REXY!!!! they're not too many but more than half of these are coincidentally some of my all time favourite comics:

secret origins (1986) #16 -- a rare gem from roy thomas and definitely some of his best work, this is precisely what it says on the tin but rex's realization that the rats he'd tested miraclo on had died a little after he'd already taken a first dose himself is as viscerally horrifying as ever and the beginnings of rex's addiction are explored in no uncertain terms

sandman mystery theatre (1993) #29-32 -- this is nearly a direct adaptation of rex's first appearance in adventure comics (1938) #48 and while the art has none of bernard baily's charm, there's few things i love like rex's manic episode after taking miraclo and the way he hysterically declares "nothing can hurt me anymore!" minutes after being hit by a car. turns out things do hurt him, he just can't feel it! this arc is like a best friend to me

hourman (1999) #5, #24 -- it's no secret i'm not a fan of rick or the android hourman but both these issues explore the superior hourman and we get my absolute favourite characterisation of rex ever published as well as a more in-depth look at his addiction to miraclo. #5 is more or less an origin issue that circles through rex's entire life ("he grew up poor! he grew up poor! rough edges... no social validation whatsoever! his whole life, he had to accomplish miracles just to feel adequate!" is maybe the one comic book moment i think about the most on a weekly basis) and #24 is a middle-aged rex grappling with what miraclo has done to his life, his inability to be a good father to rick or husband to wendi due to the little matter of blacking out every weekend, and we even get poor kent nelson dragged along into a marital argument between the tylers. most of all time

smash comics (1999) #1 -- this is part of the 1999 one shots collected under the 'jsa returns' title and while the overarching story can be understood via all-star comics (1999) #1-2, i think it stands well on its own. this particular one shot sees known odd couple rex & charles mcnider sent on a mission together and it's genuinely one of the funniest comics ever published as far as i'm concerned. you won't believe the sheer number of people i've seen take as literal fact the story rex tells when fucking with mcnider by saying he became hourman because someone threw a clock through his window ("yes, father, i shall become a bat" year one style!)

dc 2000 (2000) #1-2 -- not a rex-focused story per-se but a great look at his dynamic with the rest of the jsa and great fun in general. highlights include wes & al bullying rex into taking his miraclo cause he's "pretty dull company" otherwise

solo (2004) #7 -- he's wired, baby! he's gonna get the shakes! what's a guy supposed to do when he's taken his super coke and there's no crime to stop? this little story will tell you!

all-star squadron (1981) #34, #44, #49, #50 -- there's some great rex action in squadron as a whole, by far his best ongoing, but the issues i've linked are basically a highlights reel of rex's various miraclo-induced heart attacks. as far as i'm aware, this is the earliest comic to have explicitly acknowledged rex as an addict and to have dealt with the consequences of it in a realistic manner, something i'm always on the lookout for and greatly enjoy here

the golden age (1993) -- the quintessential rex comic. the rex manifesto, even. robinson's clearly very inspired both by adventure comics and by roy thomas' work on squadron but on both counts he manages to elevate the very concept of hourman to another level entirely, and evidently the mature tone (and themes) of the book work in rex's advantage like few things do. his vivid hallucinations in #2 make for one of the most memorable sequences in the entire medium and that end note of "one day, maybe, rex will tame his inner demons. maybe" is a gut punch to me every time. a magnificent book as always

starman (1994) #11, #37, 77-79 -- see: the golden age above. rex's starman appearances are in effect just more of what robinson had already previously established but they're an endless delight to me and i enjoy the varying time periods as even with rex's addiction and his untimely end (we were still on zero hour territory here after all), there's still glimpses of rexy at his very best

justice society of america (1992) #1, #5-6, #8-10 -- the series is a must-read for any jsa fan, of course, but it's especially important on the rex front. #5 marks the first time we see rex go to a NA meeting and as this deals with the then-present day jsa, we also get the pleasure of seeing rex slowly and awkwardly try his hand at repairing his relationship with rick

these are roughly in chronological order (in-universe chronological order, that is) and i'd also like to give a special shoutout to elseworlds jsa: the liberty file 2000 and jsa: the unholy three 2003 -- which have some of the most fun rex appearances in history, as well as confirmed socialist leanings -- and dc: the new frontier 2004 #1 -- which doesn't actually include the jsa in a real sense but does feature a wonderful article about rex's death and the public's attempt to reconcile hourman the hero with rex tyler the addict, really great stuff in there.

rex's golden age stories are great -- bernard baily's art is just entirely something else -- but they're often hard to find and even more so in readable quality, hence their absence from this list. i wholly recommend them though, even if rex's evolution as a more mature character had obviously been a wholly necessary one. enjoy! :)

[cogentranting]

Avatar 2 spoilery thoughts (aka a collection of mini rants): 

the ONLY thing interesting they allowed Neytiri to do was her scene with Spider in the climax (and it’s the most interesting moment in the movie) and there was no follow up to it. Hopefully they follow through on the tense relationship between Spider and Neytiri in the third movie. 

In the middle of the big battle at the end the sea Na’vi are just gone? Where did they go? Why did they leave? The battle wasn’t over and they just... went home? I don’t understand. Even the chief and his wife left and their daughter was still there! They came explicitly to rescue her and then left without her. What is this? 

Spider grew up alongside Jake and Neytiri’s kids, was practically raised by them, but they just keep leaving him behind and forgetting he exists! I get it for Neytiri because it’s explicitly part of her arc that she doesn’t accept him and only sees him as an outsider, but for Jake? Spider is captured by the enemy and Jake just leaves him with no intention of ever going back for him. And even Kiri who I think is supposed to be in love with him (or if not, is closer to him than anyone else) seemed mildly sad that they left him behind but not really concerned. Honestly, I thought it was gonna cause Spider to switch sides and I wouldn’t have blamed him (although it would have made me sad, and I’m glad he didn’t)

Do you think Spider TOLD them that he saved his dad? Or is that gonna be an awkward conversation in movie 3? 

The decision to leave their tribe and go join the Water people actually doesn’t make sense. Yes, Evil Military Guy was targeting their family specifically, but that wasn’t really bringing MORE trouble to their people because they were already actively at war with the humans. The humans want to destroy them, Jake being there doesn’t really change that. Jake’s arc was (kinda) about him deciding that running doesn’t solve anything and he needs to stand and fight so that would have worked except that at the end they DON’T go decide to go back home?? Which is incomprehensible to me. They’re like “we’re sea people now” and I just don’t feel like they are? It would make more sense if they went back but had now forged this alliance with the sea people. 

They kept taking Tuk places and I don’t know why they did that. She’s like SEVEN stop taking her dangerous places! She keeps almost dying! 

Actually ANY time the kids went someplace by themselves at least one of them almost died. They should not be allowed to go anywhere unsupervised. I know part of Jake’s arc was something like learning to trust his kids but he absolutely should not, they will all die. 

I think they’re suggesting that Kiri was like... conceived by the spirit of the planet or something like that and I think that’s dumb and I found her annoying. 

Why can Lo’ak speak whale? 

The bad guys are all so cartoonishly evil. It’s not just they’re willing to do the blatantly evil thing, it’s that they don’t even have a justification for it. They’re not going “actually it’s okay because...” they’re just like “yes I am murdering people groups for their resources. This is evil but I am doing that and I would like you to know that.” And all these random soldiers are totally okay with just murdering literal children. Not even ONE has some hesitation there? 

The marine biologist is making snarky comments to the whaler when the whale attacks as if he wasn’t fully complicit in what they were doing. I’m glad he died too. presumably. 

But actually the whale absolutely WRECKING the whaling ship was so much fun. Good for him. (he doesn’t have a voice actor so I can’t look up his name on IMDB so I have no idea what it is). 

It continues the long movie tradition of bullying that is actually low-key attempted murder. 

Seriously they should have just let Neytiri and Kate Winslet’s character go nuts and murder some military guys. 

[totallyseiso]

This is a vent post about my bad experience with therapy years ago. Feel free to ignore it. Trigger warning I guess: it contains shit about mental health issues, suicide, all that fun stuff I can't talk to anyone about in person.

-------------------------------------------------

When I was 24, I tried going to therapy for my mental health "concerns."

I visited a doctor who did some questionarre things to determine how broken I was, and then sent a referral, my results, and some stuff about my history of self-harm and suicide attempts to Headspace, which is a mental health service provider for people under the age of 25. The doctor told me to call them later about it. I called them and the person I spoke to said they didn't receive a referral about me. So, being the depressed person I was, I ended up just not doing anything about it. Didn't call the doctor to find out if they had sent it, just gave up entirely.

Later, after Headspace closed for the day, I received a phone call. It was the person in charge of my city's branch of Headspace. He told me that he had received my referral but there was a waiting list, and by the time I got through it I will have turned 25, putting me out of their age range. So instead he suggested I see a therapist at an all-ages provider called Floresco, and told me it was my only option in my city.

My results and history must've been pretty worrying to him because he sorted out everything himself to get me into an intake interview, and even got a friend at Floresco to make sure I was in the earliest available slot if they have any cancellations, he also called me once a week up to my intake interview to make sure I was okay. Or maybe to make sure I was still alive.

At my intake interview I ended up breaking down and crying about everything that was going on in my life. The depression, the suicide of a close friend, gender issues, etc. They accepted me and set me up with a therapist.

My therapist was a weird middle aged dude who seemed okay at first, fairly understanding about me questioning my gender, although not really getting it himself, and giving me some okay advice about ways to improve my life (which didn't actually help in the end.)

But then he tried to force me to come out as trans to my family. I kept telling him that my family aren't open minded and make transphobic jokes often, and my mental health is so fucked that if they disowned me at this stage in my life I know it would push me over the edge and I would end up killing myself. But he kept telling me that's the only way things will improve. I asked him about getting prescribed antidepressants to try and at least become somewhat stable before doing anything like that and he instead refused to let me see their psychiatrist to get a prescription. Every session was the same thing. Him ignoring my concerns, guilt tripping me for being in the closet, refusing to let me see a psychiatrist, and me trying to stop myself from stepping into traffic on the way home. I actually left every session worse than I went in.

Eventually I didn't show up to a session because I was scared of how much worse my mental health was getting, and a relative had just died. Together it would've been too much. Before the session I called and explained that I had just lost my grandmother and just can't see a therapist to talk about that stuff until I've managed to process everything.

At this point in time I was unemployed. In Australia if you're getting unemployment payments from the government you're required to apply to a specific amount of jobs each month. Because of what I was going through however I was on a medical exemption, each month I had to visit a doctor and they would write a certificate confirming that I'm still not okay, then I would give that to the government, and I wasn't required to apply to jobs. The doctor I saw for the referral had moved away, so I instead had to see some other guy. Because I didn't show up to that one session, my therapist decided to email that doctor and tell him to not sign any more medical exemptions.

I missed one session, and this therapist decided I should be cut off from the only source of money I had, while I was on the verge of suicidal, and was grieving. Fortunately I managed to successfully lie about the job applications before the deadline, two days later, so I could still afford rent.

Since Floresco was my only option I obviously couldn't try seeing another therapist, so I just had to keep living with my problems. It's 4 years later now and even though I'm not actively suicidal, I'm still too scared to come out to my family, so right now, here on tumblr is basically the only place I can identify as the gender I feel comfortable with, instead of having to be a guy "who's not like other guys." So, thanks for most of you being nice to me, and not sending me much transphobic anon hate.

There's no happy end to this post or anything, but I'm thinking about trying to see a psychiatrist or something to find out if I really am bipolar like I've been suspecting for years, and because of this I'm thinking about mental health stuff, and I felt the need to get this out.

-------------------------------------------------

Oh and also,

Fuck y'all, I'm glad you went out of business

[adagaium]

here’s some fun ardyn things

can ardyn give the scourge yes. now he can. we see that in ep ardyn. do you get the scourge from coming in contact with ardyn no. that’s not how that works, he’s not like other carriers . the starscourge is literally magic malaria down to its scientific name ( although as a nurse i am never not amused at the fact they picked a harmless strain ), MALARIA SUCKS GUYS. malaria is spread by mosquito bites, or needle sharing, because it’s blood. 

the starscourge is spread through: bites from infected animals or bodily fluids ( namely blood products ), or miasma from dead things that were infected. YOU CANNOT GET THE STARSCOURGE FROM HAVING SEX WITH AN INFECTED PERSON, also here’s a fun fact it doesn’t spread from casual contact. it won’t spread from bumping into a daemon. the reason daemons spread the scourge is ... they also like to tear each other apart, which usually leaves them covered in the blood of other daemons, hence the blood-based spread. so people aren’t getting the scourge because ardyn bumps into them. 

quite the opposite, actually! for everything that ardyn has done in spreading the scourge by willing it ( a process of infection unique to him ), his innate ability is still to heal it. a sick person bumping into ardyn is more likely to make a miraculous recovery, because ardyn’s soul had a kneejerk reaction to being smothered by daemons — making his healing abilities involuntary. he couldn’t stop that just like we can’t stop our involuntary bodily processes. for this reason, coming into contact with people is fairly counterproductive to the goal of plunging eos into darkness. 

unfortunately for ardyn, he’s bad at not being physical with other people, not only is he horny on main ( read, touch starved actually, and he’s expressing it like this ), he’s just overly affectionate in general. the good (?) news ( for adagium, at least ) is with each daemon he pulls out of a person ( willing or not ), his power grows. so, it’s ... conflict. ardyn’s really lost control of most parts of his life and he hates that. it’s the one thing he WANTS, control, because he doesn’t want to be the pawn of the gods, he wants to do what HE wants ... which if he thinks too hard, he doesn’t know what that is. he barely knows who he is anymore, which is a whole new cause of distress. 

ardyn’s soul is still in his body, i don’t care what dawn of the future says there. ardyn’s soul never stopped being the soul of the saintly healer of eos, but it wasn’t strong enough to not be smothered by daemons. out of fear of losing himself fully, ardyn keeps journals where he’s written things down that he KNOWS are true about who he really is. 

his true name is ardyn lucis caelum ( he doesn’t remember being mithra which is sad ). 

he died at 33 in the throne room. aera died that day, too. 

he was born in solheim ( but he doesn’t remember he was technically born a deity ). 

he was engaged to aera mirus fleuret and they had two sons, but they never married due to uhhh tragedy. 

he and aera named pryna when they were young. 

his black chocobo was a female and her name was iaso. 

the first person he healed of the scourge was somnus, when he was 7 and somnus was 4. 

he and somnus liked playing chess together . 

he didn’t want the throne, he just went because if that was what it took to heal people he’d do anything.

he is the chosen savior of eos and his calling is to save lives, not to take them. 

sadly, that’s literally all ardyn actually remembers for certain about himself, his real life and true fate. everything else he has as memories are other people’s memories. he can’t even really figure out how verstael found him, he sorta just ... out of a need to be a Complete Person ... listens when people tell him shit that doesn’t conflict with the only solid memories he has. this mental vulnerability made him an excellent target for verstael, who uhhh caused a LOT of ardyn’s “new personality” to happen. that’s concerning in itself and something for another post. 

anyway, there are times where ardyn’s soul will actually try to put up a fight against the daemons and it gives him horrible headaches and throws his emotions all out of whack and usually he just hides somewhere because he doesn’t want anyone to see him so vulnerable. this erratic behavior became more frequent as days passed in the ten years where noctis was asleep in the crystal, because the daemons knew their host was going to DIE and ardyn’s real soul wanted to wrangle the daemons so he COULD rest. noctis gets to see the real ardyn when he’s dying and he asks what will happen in the future. when he dies with a smile because he thinks it’s over. 

[bisluthq]

I always find this a weird angle because idk it kinda reduces her to what she is to *us* as fans not what she is to them. Like who gives a fuck if your DIL/SIL is breaking charting records? What matters is she’s funny and sweet and makes your son/brother super happy. ////

Ok so this ask and answer actually reminds me of my brother in law where he’s taylor in this example, but like for normal people and not rich or famous people.

So when my sister met her now husband he had been going through a lot of personal stuff (he had been working for a small business that had some legal issues, not criminal, I can’t remember the details now, but he was in a risky spot, and then his parents started to separate but his dad died. like the poor guy was going through it but they’d only gone on a few dates before all this happened. and my family and I were concerned that my sister was wanting to take care of him more then they were being on equal ground in the relationship and it even being fun. even he said he wasn’t sure if their timing was right because he was going through a lot and didn’t want to drag her into his mess, but he wanted to be with her. And she basically pulled a Joe and just said no we’re not breaking up lol. He impressed us pretty quickly though because he did a lot to look after his mom and showed how much empathy he had, but he put his emotions on hold and started drinking… luckily he stopped before he needed intervention, but dude was a mess and my sister had gone through a lot of therapy to get over a toxic relationship and we were worried his stress would disrupt her mental state.

Anyway the legal stuff resolved without him even having to take the stand and he started showing the side of him that she saw on their first few dates before his life went messy and now both our families love them together and we’re like ok I get why you like him and stuck around now lol.

He went back to school and finished his degree and has had professional success in recent years and my family have been happy for him and proud of how far he’s come in the time we know him, but honestly we’re more relieved than anything. I know his situation is very different to Tay/ Joe, but I feel like if I were his family I’d just be relieved that she didn’t pull him down and picked herself up so that they could have a seemingly healthy and equal relationship.. because omg apparently my BIL/ sister lived in a bubble when they spent time together, but outside their bubble his life was nuts and she had just gotten herself into a healthy mental space. They make me believe in soul mates because it was a perfect storm to derail her life but they thrived instead.

I didn’t mean to type so much but I just had a relatable story lmaooo

Ya I think this was sorta them! Cute story tbh!

[onelilhippie]

OUTCAST: chapter three

story masterlist

MY HANDS were shaking and it was hard to focus. i was dizzy. my anxiety attacks stopped when i was fifteen, but they were making an appearance again. fiery panic burned hot in my lungs as everything sunk in. chrissy was dead. eddie was accused for murdering her. i was in this now, in between the two of them, people knew me as chrissy's best friend, as eddie's ex girlfriend, and they'd have questions. there was some... other dimension, and monsters were actually real, and they have almost killed my friends, my family. it was impossible to fathom just how much the people around me had been through, and how blind i'd been stumbling through it all.

my chest was tight, like someone was pressing down on it, and sweat stuck my shirt to the skin of my back. i was burning up, like fire licking against the surface of my body.

"marnie?" a voice grabbed me from my trance. it was steve, his voice streaming through the door. i moved away from it, letting him outside and into my personal space.

"yeah?" i said, more like a whisper than anything else. i felt a pressure on my face, and realized steve was wiping away tears that i didn't know i had cried. i sniffled and looked up at him, hoping he'd be able to ground me from these feelings, hot on on my heels like hell was after me, crawling up the back of my neck and into my scattered brain.

"you alright? it's not safe to be alone." he asked me, concern prominent in his voice. i didn't know why he cared so much. maybe it was because i'm dustin's sister. i barely knew him. there were fleeting moments of hellos and my first day at the video store, but other than that i hadn't spoken to him. in high school i despised him, when he had smashed jonathan's camera to the ground i vowed to never even look in his direction, but here i was, being comforted by the very guy i used to hate. steve was kind, and a bit shaky himself. it was difficult to see him this way, when all i knew was the person who made fun of nancy wheeler for hanging around jonathan. his personality was designed for cockiness and teasing, but he was worried for me, someone he barely knew.

"yeah, i just panicked. today has been... a lot. i didn't want anyone to see me like this." i chuckled, lightly gesturing to my tear stained face. i never cried a lot before today. i've never been an emotional person but my life has quite literally been turned upside down in a matter of hours. the seething panic died and the heat of my anxiety no longer corroded my consciousness.

"alright, let's get inside. don't want you to get... vecna'd?" steve laughed to himself. i shook my head and went inside before him, just so i didn't hear anymore of his bad jokes. as soon as steve and i were back inside, everyone decided it was time to leave. dustin said we'd come back in the morning with supplies for eddie. but i didn't want to leave him alone again.

"you want him to stay here by himself?" i questioned my brother, arms crossed over my chest.

"uh yeah, he's pretty capable." dustin countered back at me. i rolled my eyes and sat myself down in the old, beat up boat.

"yeah, no. i'll stay with him. just in case something happens. i'm not sure anyone should be alone after what happened to- you know. chrissy." i offered, avoiding eddie's confused gaze. dustin blanched, obviously not expecting me to say something like that. i had decided that talking to eddie might do me some good, and i really didn't want him to be alone with everything happening, no one having a clue of what we're up against, just some creature comprable to a d&d character.

"wh- you know what? okay." dustin shrugged, turning and walking out. everyone said their goodbyes and be-safes and took off in steve's car. eddie and i were silent for a moment before he turned to face me, his expression hard to read. he had a soft face, his resting features so pretty and tinged pink.

"why are you here?" he asked, voice quiet. i couldn't quite tell what emotion he was feeling. like i said, he was hard to read sometimes. eddie had always been someone i admired, for being so himself unapologetically, for being mysterious in a way that was uniquely his.

"i didn't want you to be alone, eddie. not when people are getting killed b-by some, like, dark wizard or whatever." i stuttered out. i wasn't sure my mind would ever wrap around the concept of interdimensional monsters and fourteen year-old girls with superpowers.

"since when did you worry about me?" he questioned, arms folded. i scoffed loudly, rolling my eyes yet again. it seemed like that's all i was doing the past twenty-four hours.

"just because we aren't together doesn't mean i don't care about you."

"that's not how it seemed the past, i don't know, six fucking months." eddie spat, sitting across the room from me on the dirty wood floor. it was then that i realized how much my leaving affected him. seeing his eyes glassy, unable to look at me, spitting at me like he hated me. maybe he did. my heartstrings pulled, a flame burned in his eyes.

"eddie... i do. i really do."

"then why did you leave?"

"i had to. i was gonna lose chrissy. now i know i would've lost her either way." i was crying, again. for the third time.

"what do you mean?"

"she was... was fucking worried for her reputation. i never really cared for it. i obviously wasn't popular and i never wanted to be. school popularity has always been pointless. but she was so into it, and she wanted to stay that way. chrissy knew that if i was seen with you, her image would crumble by association with me. she said she wouldn't talk to me again if i stayed with you. and i had known her since second grade. i couldn't let a boy get between us. but then i realized just how fucking stupid it was that she was worried over her position on the cheer team and how many people loved her. but i had already left you. then she started getting cozy with jason, and he made her cut me off anyways. so any ending would've resulted in me losing someone i thought was my best friend. and i realize now that i should've done what i wanted instead of blindly following her but i can't change that. and i know you hate me for it. probably even more so now that i've told you what really happened, actually." i admitted, staring up at the ceiling to avoid him. it was dark and cold in the boathouse, and i was shivering with exhaustion.

"i don't hate you." eddie said in a low voice. i removed my eyes from the ceiling and settled on him. he was sitting with his knees to his chest, eyes trained on the floor. i felt bad for telling him, for reopening a wound, but he needed to know the truth about everything.

"you don't have to lie to me."

"why would i lie to you? what's the point? i don't hate you. i never have. not when we'd fight, not when you accidentally threw away my d&d notes, not when you left me that night in the rain under that streetlight next to my trailer. not when you wouldn't even let me kiss you goodbye. i was angry, but i've never hated you. not for a second." my mind flipped through those memories, each one he mentioned bright in my mind like they had just happened. i wanted to be my old self again, but i was still searching for her in those late nights without him. i'd tangle myself in my cold bedsheets, remembering the feeling of him beside me, and crying in the emptiness i'd caused. i felt all those emotions again at once and shrunk in on myself, hugging myself in that worn down rotten boat.

"i'm sorry." i muttered, tucking my head between my knees. i heard the floor creak as he walked towards me, the feeling of the boat rocking as he got into it beside me.

"i know. i am too." eddie said back, hand running through my hair in a comforting motion. his touch made me shiver. no one ever treated me the way he did. he treated me with respect. he never yelled, never even made me think he'd lay a hand on me. he was the most beautiful man i'd ever met, and i was so privileged to have loved him, to have experienced his personality in such an intimate way.

"so," he spoke again, "since when were you and harrington together?"

now that made me laugh.

"what?" i sputtered, lifting my head up to look at him, to my right.

"you and harrington?"

"oh my god. in his dreams. steve and i are definitely not a thing." i laughed loud. eddie looked seriously confused though. did he really somehow get the impression that steve and i were... a thing?

"you two aren't together?" eddie raised an eyebrow, actually, truly confused.

"no? what even made you think that, eddie? gross."

"he was all touchy with you, a-and when you went outside he rushed after you. i- i dont know, henderson." eddie blushed, shaking his head. i just laughed for a moment. yeah, steve had comforted me, but, not in that way. not in the way eddie ever had.

"yeah, absolutely not. he's just a friend. actually, i hadn't even had a conversation with him til yesterday, when i started working at the video store." i told him, watching the expressions and realization rolled across his features.

"why? you jealous?" i teased him.

"oh, shut up." eddie was beet red, and everything felt normal again. he was back, even if he wasn't mine anymore. my mind calmed down for the first time that day. after a few minutes of silence, my eyelids began to feel heavy.

"tired, marn?" eddie whispered. i nodded, breathing slow.

"c'mon, lay down." he took his jacket off and splayed it over my figure as i laid beside that awful tarp. the thing was itchy. i snuggled into the smell of him, weed, cologne, and a little bit of beer. and for the first time in a while, i was content. he laid beside me, a considerable distance away.

"night, henderson."

"night, eds." i whispered back, eyes falling closed.

˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄

i was woken by eddie rocking the boat, jumping up, ring-clad hand wrapped around a bright red, rusted wrench.

"ed-"

"shhhh!" he pressed a finger to his lips, creeping up from the boat and peering through the boathouse windows. he must've heard something outside. he was panting heavy like he had just ran a mile, standing as still as he could.

"shit." he whispered, eyes glued to the view outside. then, the door blew open, making me squeak and eddie yell.

"jesus!"

luckily, it was dustin and his friends, plastic bags in hand.

"delivery service!" my brother grinned. eddie exhaled.

steve laid eyes on me and wiggled his fingers in a wave. i smiled back, and waved to everyone. they handed eddie some snacks and i got out of the boat, sliding my arms into eddie's coat. his cologne wafted into my senses again and i remembered times in his arms.

"munson's jacket, huh?" steve asked, eyebrows raised, as i stood between him and max. i smacked him on the arm and he faked injury. eddie was shoving cereal in his mouth, glancing at me and steve then back at dustin.

"so we got some good news and some bad news. how do you prefer it?" my brother asked.

"bad news first, always." eddie chased cereal down with some bottled drink. i turned my gaze to my brother.

"alright, bad news. we tapped into the hawkins pd dispatch with our cerebro, and they're definitely looking for you. also, they're uh, pretty convinced you killed chrissy." i sighed and eddie's face dropped. i went over and sat next to him.

"like. 100% kinda convinced." max added.

"and they're looking for marnie too. since you were close with both of them. or. were. they have questions. intense questions." dustin looked at his sister, a frown settled on his face.

"and the good news?" eddie asked, looking at everyone.

"your names haven't gone public yet. but if we found out about you, it's only a matter of time before others do too. and once that gets out, everyone and their shallow minded mother is gonna be gunning for you both." robin chimed in. my stomach churned at eddie's worried expression.

"hunt the freaks, right?"

"exactly."

"shit." i muttered, tucking my face into the palms of my hands.

"so, before that happens, we need to find vecna, kill him, and prove your innocence."

"that's all, dustin? that's all?" said eddie, exasperated.

"yeah, no, that's pretty much it."

"listen, eddie, marnie, i know everything dustin is saying sounds totally delusional, but we've actually been through this kinda thing before." robin reassured me and him.

"i mean, they have a-a few times. and i have once. mine was more human flesh based, and theirs was more smoke related, but bottom line is, collectively, i really think we got this."

"but, uh," steve started. "we usually rely on this girl, that has superpowers, but those went bye-bye, so, uh-"

"what we're technically in is more of the-"

"kinda..."

"brainstorming phase." max finished.

"brainstorming!"

"there-there's nothing to worry about." said dustin, but his voice was pitched higher. eddie and i looked at each other and we both realized, we were fucked.

police sirens jolted us from the conversation, and steve shushed us. eddie and i crouched down into the boat once again.

"tarp!" robin pointed, repeating herself. eddie threw the tarp over the both of us and i screwed my eyes shut, huddling into his chest. the sirens kept going and i opened my eyes, looking up at eddie. he was already staring at me.

"it's okay." he whispered as low as possible, fingertips running up and down my back in a soothing motion. i inhaled as hard as i could, and exhaled.

"this sucks."

"i know."

[casspurrjoybell-28]

Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 35 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Instead of Wren being the one avoiding me, I'm now the one avoiding him.

Lylah can't even hang out with me at school anymore because she feels bad leaving Wren alone.

I'm with Jay most of the time, which earns me dirty looks from Wren on the occasion that I do see him.

It's a whole mess, really.

I've tried to stop being guilty about it.

There's nothing I can do. I don't want to talk to Wren.

I don't want a confrontation.

I don't want anything to do with it.

Usually, I wouldn't be so worried about all this if Daemon was around but he's been gone for two days already.

We call and message every day but of course, nothing can replace actually being in his presence.

He sometimes gets me to send pictures of myself and compliments my outfits, even though I'm hiding my face in every photo and take an hour to get one I'm okay with sending.

I've been hoping I'll get one back but all I ended up getting was one disgruntled, looking selfie where he looks like he just woke up.

But it made me smile anyway.

While on a call with him later in the day, something pops into my head.

"Oh, I never got the chance to ask you... um what happened with that guy who died? Zeke?"

"Hmm?" Daemon sighs. "Like I said. We thought he was going to make it. He had traces of heroin in his bloodstream, the amount was concerning but the doctors said it'd be okay. Then a day later when they checked again, he seemed to have more in him and it was impure, laced with metals. You know how deadly some metals are to wolves."

"Hmm," I acknowledge.

We learned about that stuff in school.

"Tristan thinks it has something to do with my brother because he used to be an addict..."

"He was?"

I mean, I did have my suspicions.

"Yeah. I even saved him from an overdose once, that ungrateful little shit."

"Really?" I exclaim. "That must have been so... so scary."

"It was. And he's sober now but if he's still got access to the shit... uh... he might be connected to all of this."

"You've got to tell Lucien..."

"Trust me. We have. And he investigated too but there's no evidence correlating with my brother. So he just has to take Theo's word."

"But you don't buy it?" I ask.

"I don't know what I buy," Daemon sounds conflicted. "We have a big pack. There are plenty of others out there that could be the culprit. Tristan just hates Theo. I don't blame him for being suspect, though. That's why we're looking into it."

"I see..."

"Drugs can spread like wildfire through a pack. It's dangerous. Leaves us vulnerable to attack. The thing is, Lucien already has so much on his hands and I'm helping too but it doesn't change the fact that he has no Luna to support him."

I feel for Lucien. I really do.

He's responsible for so much, the weight of it all on his shoulders, yet he keeps himself together.

Even without his mate. I just want to give him a big hug.

Today is the day Daemon comes back, so I'm pretty excited to say the least.

We're also starting a play in theater which has been super fun so far.

I'm just going to be doing work backstage because I have severe stage fright but it's still fun to see the people rehearsing their scenes as I design the props.

I'm finishing my homework up on the couch as I think about school stuff when I hear the door open.

I look to see if it's Lucien but to my surprise it's Theo.

His eyes dart around strangely, immediately spotting me.

"Ash," he says.

"Hello?"

I give him a look of confusion.

I don't really understand what business we'd ever have together.

Theo looks about the room, turning his head left and right.

"Daemon isn't here, is he?"

I'm getting really off vibes from him.

"No..?" I reply, my voice going up in question.

"Good."

I don't have time to ask what he means before he's coming toward me, moving quickly.

"H-hey."

I jump up from the sofa, backing up as he reaches for me.

"What are you doing?"

Fear starts rising in me, adrenaline rushing through my veins.

What is he trying to do?

Theo doesn't reply, just advances on me.

So I skitter around the sofa, nearly tripping over a small table at the end of it.

"Stop," I demand but he's nearly right behind me so I attempt a dash to the front door, barely making it two feet before he grabs me by the arm, forcefully yanking me back.

I yelp in pain as he slams me against the wall, holding me in place with his sheer strength.

"Let go," I yell. "Let go of me."

It's impossible for me to move, smashed against the white plaster on my stomach.

Theo ignores my request.

"I've been waiting for a chance to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me," he says, breathing heavily in anticipation.

His hand grips the bottom of my shirt and I realize what he's trying to do.

He wants to take it off.

"No," I scream. "STOP. STOP."

He rips off my shirt, tearing the fabric in the process so it falls to the ground in a useless muddle.

He starts to laugh maniacally.

"I was right. A fucking Dark Moon pack mark."

No sooner than a few seconds later is the front door slammed open, a furious-looking Daemon charging into the house.

"What the fuck is going on here?" he growls when his eyes find Theo pinning me to the wall.

I feel Theo's hand on my back, pointing to my mark.

"This."

My face is smashed up against the wall but I'm able to spare a look at Daemon.

For a brief moment, he looks shocked as he takes in the sight of my bare skin.

Dread floods me because I know that means he's seen them.

Not the mark but the deep, gruesome scars that litter my upper back, my stepfather's favorite place to mutilate me.

"Right under our noses," Theo sneers but at the moment I don't care that I've been discovered.

I care because Daemon saw.

That's all I can think.

Daemon has seen all of me, how disgusting I am.

My stomach drops in terror.

There's no way for me to reverse this.

I burst out crying, thrashing helplessly under Theo's strong hold to try and get him off.

At that, Daemon's face darkens, snapping back to full-blown anger.

Before I can register anything, he's lunging at Theo, violently pulling him off me.

He slams him back into the opposite wall, so hard that it cracks and caves in.

"Don't touch him..." he roars, eyes glowing bright with rage.

He punches Theo hard in the face.

Blood immediately blooms on the blond's cheek and he winces but reopens his eyes to glare at his brother.

"By your reaction, I'm guessing you knew," Theo snarls.

Daemon's nostrils flare.

"Shut your fucking mouth."

"You knew, you traitor. I should've known a dirty rogue like you was in on this."

Theo pushes him back, raising his fists.

Daemon blocks his first few hits, getting a few in himself but misses blocking Theo's last one, also getting a blow to the face.

That fuels his anger and he grunts, punching his brother in the gut.

I watch in horror as they fight, sinking to the floor  by the stairwell.

I'm scared. I'm scared of how they're hurting each other, knocking things over.

"Stop," I scream. "Stop it."

But my plea falls on deaf ears.

"Did he seduce you? Is that why you're trying to protect him?"

Theo takes another punch to the stomach before kneeing Daemon hard in the leg.

"You try anything and I will..."

"Why? You really care that much about a runt?" Theo spits, shoving Daemon back.

The bigger Alpha growls in rage, grabbing Theo by the neck and slamming him against the dining table, shattering the wood.

"You're dead."

"What's it to you?" Theo continues, despite sputtering for air after getting the wind knocked out of him. "That's what he is. A runt. Good for getting fucked and not much else..."

I swear I hear the bone crack before I see it.