#strong female characters but make it literal. thank you for pushing open the doors for us weaklings

[writing-wh0re]

Heyyy could I get some virgin!boyfriend!peter and virgin!girlfriend!reader, going down on each other for the first time and kinda discovering each other kinks like the reader likes being called a good girl and Peter loves having his hair pulled 🤪😩 sorry this is very specific lmaooo I trust u bby do whatever you want !!💜

All writing will be #writing-wh0re-requests.

Peter Parker x Female Reader

Words: 1,563.

Warnings: Smut18+, Vaginal Intercourse, Loss of Virginity, Unprotected Sex, Male and Female Performing Oral, Praise Kink, Hair Pulling, Handjob, Soft Peter. 

A/n: I hope you enjoy this!

*I think I'm slowly finding it hard to write for Peter because yes, I love him but just not as excited when writing* - But I'll figure this out.

Spending the weekend with Peter was something I was looking forward to this whole week. Finally time to ourselves, time alone that I hope we will both take advantage of and take our love to the next step.

I reach Peter’s apartment, using my key to let myself in as a peaceful silence hits my ears. I sigh in relief, thankful that Ned and Betty were away for the weekend and had already left. I rush to Peter’s room, dumping my overnight bag on the hardwood floor before making my way into the ensuite bathroom, wanting to get out of my work clothes.

The lukewarm water hits my skin, allowing my eyes to flutter closed in pure bliss at the feeling of relaxation. My day washes off my skin, happy to be taking it slow for the first time in nine hours. I don’t hear Peter call my name or his footsteps as I wash my body, the smell of my mango soap filling the air.

“Ah, baby there you are.”

I jump at the sound of his voice, a small yelp escaping my lips causing the tall brunette to chuckle at me.

“Jesus.”

“Sorry, did I ruin your peace and quiet.” Peter opens the shower door, the cool gush of air causing goosebumps to liter my skin. His eyes trail up my body, a proud smirk dancing across his lips.

“As a matter of fact, you did, I was enjoying my ‘me’ time.” I lean against the cool shower wall, showing more of my body to Peter which causes him to bite his lip.

“Mind if I join you?”

My heart skips a beat as I softly nod watching my boyfriend slip out of his clothes, his toned chest and arms causing a flow of arousal to pool between my thighs. I quickly look away from the god-like sight, splashing my face with some water to calm myself down.

Peter’s lips brush against my shoulder, kissing his way up my neck. I giggle at his actions, his lips causing a tingle to rush over me, excitement bubbling inside my stomach.

“I missed you.” His warm breath fans cool air across my wet skin, a love drunk smile present on my lips.

I spin around to face him, droplets of water dripping from his hair onto his nose. “I missed you more, I’ve been counting down.” I instantly blush at the words that leave my lips, knowing I sound like a complete dork.

Peter smiles at me with love and adoration, his lips kissing my nose.

“You’re adorable.”

I stand on my tippy toes, my arms wrapping around his neck allowing for our lips to meet. Peter smiles into the kiss, pushing me against the wall as I gasp, the cool tile coming into contact with my ass. Peter grabs my thigh, encouraging me to wrap my leg around his waist, I use the new angle to pull him closer to me, a soft moan escaping both of us as his cock presses against my pussy.

“Sorry baby.” Peter pulls away from me, his face filling with regret. “You’re fucking addictive.” His eyes trail up my body.

I reach out to grab his hand, pulling me closer to me again.

“Please.” Peter rests his forehead against mine, his eyes searching mine. A wave of confidence takes over me as I trail my fingers down his chest, causing his breath to hitch. Peter’s hand cups my cheek, pulling our lips together before moaning into our kiss as I slowly pump his cock up and down. His hand wraps around mine, helping guide my actions to reach his release.

Peter’s hand leaves my face, cupping my heat earning a gasp from me.

“You’re so wet.”

Butterflies erupt inside of my stomach, excitement and nerves starting to take over my senses. Peter slips his middle finger past my folds, rubbing my clit slowly as all of the nervousness washes away, replaced by pure bliss.

Peter keeps his eyes trained on his fingers, ensuring to take everything slow, both of us moaning at each other's actions. My eyes fixate on his dick, loving the sounds I am pulling from him as I continue to pump up and down, circling my hand from the base to the tip which causes a string of curse words to leave his lips. I fall to my knees, looking up at Peter through my lashes, his face filled with surprise at my sudden actions. I swipe my tongue across the tip of his cock, taking his length into my mouth, bobbing my head up and down, his hand falling to the back of my head, guiding my mouth causing his hips to thurst.

“You’re good at that baby.”

“Such a good girl.”

His praise causes my clit to throb with arousal. I use my hand to cup his balls, massaging the skin as my tongue swirls around him, causing his head to tilt back and profanities to fall from his lips. I pull his cock from my lips with a pop, his strong arms pulling me up against his chest, our forehead's resting against eachother again. His finger slips back between my folds, circling my clit, my lips part with soft moans filling the air.

“I want you.”

Peter smiles at me before registering my words, causing his actions to halt.

“Please, I need you.”

Peter’s eyes search mine, looking for any doubt behind my words.

“Fuck me.”

Peter shuts the water off causing a sense of sadness to take over me.

‘Does he not want to have sex with me?’

Peter chuckles, sensing my emotions.

“I’m going to fuck you, I’m going to make you feel so fucking good baby.” His words cause my breath to hitch and my heart to race. “But not in a shower, not for the first time.”

He laces our fingers together, guiding us to his queen bed, not bothering to grab a towel for either of us. I fall back onto Peter’s quilt, his body caging me against the mattress before locking our lips in a heated kiss, tongue and teeth hitting against each other, both of us excited for the next step in our relationship. Peter’s lips trail down my body, kissing and licking in between the valley of my breasts before his lips suck my thighs, littering the skin with his mark.

My fingers instantly grip onto the strands of Peter’s hair, his tongue slipping past my folds as my body tenses.

“Keep doing that.” I look down at Peter watching as his eyes flick to my fingers tangled in his hair.

His tongue goes back to circling my clit, his finger slowly slipping inside of me. A lazy smile fills my face, nothing but pleasure filling my body. Peter’s tongue causes my legs to shake, his fingers curling inside of me.

“Yes, Peter, yes.” I tug on his hair, attempting to pull him closer to my core, grinding my hips against his tongue. Peter moans against my clit, the slight vibration causing my mind to go fuzzy. My heartbeat slows, my breathing starts to become erratic as I feel the coil inside me tighten. Peter senses that I’m close, pulling away from me and earning a soft whimper.

“You’re cumming around me.”

I open and close my mouth, no words forming, another sense of nervousness settling around me.

“Baby, we don’t have to do this.”

I instantly shake my head, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside of me.

“No, please, I want you so badly.”

Peter smiles at me, kissing my lips softly before lining himself up with my entrance.

“It will hurt, but only for a little, I need you to breathe for me and I’ll stop whenever you need.” I nod in response to Peter’s words, I hiss as his dick stretches my slick walls. Peter moans at the action, kissing my lips before whispering in my ear.

“You’re doing so well.”

“My gorgeous girl.”

“I love you so much Y/n.”

I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside of me, both of us moaning at the deeper angle.

“I love you Peter.” I whisper, rocking my hips up slightly. His hand falls to my hip, holding me still as he slowly thrusts in and out of me, building up a comfortable rhythm.

“Does that feel good baby?”

“So good, god Peter.”

“Such a good girl.” My pussy clenches around him as he praises me, a soft chuckle falling from his lips, knowing what he is doing to me.

“I-I’m cl-close.” Peter rubs my clit, the added pleasure causing my body to flush hot, my body tenses before I feel my release wash over me. Peter’s name falling from my lips, mixed with curse words.

“Fuck, Y/n, so good.”

Peter continues to rock in and out of me, my legs shaking at the sensitivity of my core. I watch his muscles tense, his fingers grip my hips tighter as a warmth fills me. Peter captures my lips in his before he slides out of me, his cum trickling out of my warm core.

“That was amazing.” I smile, my chest rises and falls, Peter’s the same as he pulls me into his side.

“I love you baby.”

“I love you so much Peter.”

It was safe to say, our weekend was spent like no other.

| | |

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[pillow-anime-talk]

wap challenge.

synopsis: ‘WAP challenge’ versus our lovely boys.

# tags: headcanons; current relationships; aged up; romance; mild comedy and fluff; suggestive?

includes: female reader ft. hitoshi shinsou & you shindou {bnha} + eita semi & tobio kageyama {hq!!} + seijuurou mikoshiba & rin matsuoka {free!}

— HITOSHI

↘ It was absolutely NOT YOUR idea to do this challenge. Mina was the initiator of it all, because she’s addicted to the TikTok app, plus she knows every trend that is currently taking place. Plus, she’s your bestie, so it’s super obvious that you’ll do a lot of (stupid) things with her to keep an eye on her silly ass. 

↘ UMMM, anyway. Also not gonna lie, but you liked to dance, so it was much easier to induce you this time, hehe.

↘ Therefore, a few trainings later, you could easily record the ‘WAP challenge’ and put it on the pink-haired teenager’s popular account. 

↘ Meanwhile, your lovely boyfriend was in the coffee bar with Denki. Unexpectedly, the latter got a notification on his phone. 

↘ (Of course, we all know that Kaminari is the second TikTok biggest fan and his content is something like ‘Top10 things I don’t like about Bakugo’.)

↘ Coming back to the topic, the blonde’s eyes automatically widened when he saw the video inserted into Mina’s account; he wasn’t surprised by the young girl’s idea and its general performance, but you... He totally didn’t expect it! After all, you were the complete opposite of a crazy pinky one and you were literally the voice of reason in your friendship.

↘ “Oh, God... Wow. You have to see this, Shinsou.” He laughed under his breath, then restarted the short video and turned the black phone to the boy who currently drinking colored bubble tea.

↘ Well. Needless to say, some cold tea flew out of his mouth and his both cheeks turned redder than Kirishima’s hair.

↘ Aaaand he got an boner.

— YOU

↘ That mf... Okay. 

↘ Listen to me.

↘ Honestly, you were never interested in having an account on this whole TikTok app, but you saw a tons YouTube videos of people dancing to an English-speaking female rapper’s song and you just found it as a fun and interesting activity (+ you really liked this lit song, so...).

↘That’s why, you pushed back the furniture in your own room, which was in the Ketsubutsu Academy dorm, and put on a music. The first three attempts were just learning the steps, but by the fourth time you were ready for the real dance, so you tied your hair in a high ponytail to make it more comfortable and corrected the top of your clothes.

↘ Absorbed in setting up the camera and playing the song at the right moment, you didn’t even notice when your boyfriend entered your room. Of course he wanted to say hi or just kiss your pretty face, but at the same moment you jumped up and lifted your leg, quickly dropping to your knees.

↘ Shindou’s eyes widened while he resting his arm against your bedroom white wall. He even bit his lip, feeling a pleasant tingling in the stomach and throat.

↘ To say that he was delighted is definitely not enough.

↘ And when you finished the dance with the split, your boyfriend was still silent... However there was a sound of clapping and mouth pecking throughout the room. Slightly frightened, you turned towards him, and your cheeks flushed deeply.

↘ “Well, well, well. I didn’t expect that, but... I’d love to see it again, babe.” He winked at you, and you quickly covered your red face with your hands, still sitting on the floor.

— EITA

↘ All of us know perfectly that Semi is... a very serious man. I mean, have you seen how much he gives while he playing volleyball and helping his lovely teammates? Eita takes many things seriously (both at school and in private life) hence his strong character and his frequent lack of playfulness when you both have a small talk.

↘ However, you still love him very much and you would do anything for this big baby boy to make him happy and make him feel loved and appreciated as your boyfriend, friend and also volleyball player.

↘ Anyway, you didn’t expect that one day he would come over to your house and your mother would let him in, saying that ‘as always, you are at your own bedroom, listening to music’.

↘ Eita also didn’t expect anything special that day; he just came to you to spend Saturday watching interesting anime, some movies, talking and possibly ordering a pizza at his treat, but then he opened the door to your room and literally at the same moment he saw that you swing your leg up, and after a while you get down on your both knees.

↘ Of course he was so shocked because, firstly, he didn’t expect you to dance, and secondly, he didn’t expect you to dance this kind of moves...

↘ The poor boy who always took everything around him seriously couldn’t absorb for the next few seconds the fact that some people do a lot of things for fun... not for awards and medals like him and his beloved team.

↘ Fortunately, he quickly shook his head and laughed a bit under his breath when you barely managed to do a splits.

— TOBIO

↘ HAHAHGAHHAHDDAHAHAADDXXHJXJXDD. SORRY. I MEAN...

↘ The poor baby boy has his head high in the clouds and is only interested in the volleyball or matches, the milk in the carton from the school vending machine and you.

↘ Therefore, he’s not into the social media like Twitter, TikTok, Tumblr or YouTube. Sometimes he just steals your Spotify or Netflix account, but that’s all.

↘ Therefore, when one random day Hinata and Yamaguchi ran up to him with orange-head’s phone in his hand and a few seconds later asked if he had already seen the video with you in the lead role, the black-haired young man raised an eyebrow up, not understanding about what his two teammates talked at that moment.

↘ However, when after a short while he saw a dance video with loud music on the app on Shouyou’s phone, a small wrinkle appeared on his forehead and his mouth tightened into a narrow line.

↘ When the video was over, he thanked his besties, then took his own smartphone out of his pants pocket to search for your name in contacts. He quickly wrote you a short message, and as you read it, a huge blush appeared on your both cheeks.

↘ Tobi! | 14:23 ; Why didn’t you tell me that you dance? You’re pretty good at it. I’d like to see it privately. See you after classes :).

— SEIJUUROU

↘ :D

↘ Let’s start with the fact that Seijuurou is definitely a social animal and knows a lot of phone apps (unlike Haikyuu boys, lmao).

↘ I mean, he knows perfectly well all Twitter or Tumblr jokes and general slang, his favorite app is probably Instagram, and the Urban Dictionary is his second home, his bestie. Not need to mention that you share Netflix together, you two also are on the same Discord channel, and on top of that, he makes a shitpost on his own Facebook profile.

↘ No wonder that one day when he caught you dancing to the Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion song, he immediately joined to you. As if dancing had been in his veins from the day he was born, almost like swimming.

↘ The young man literally took all your viewers off the account and all the beauty of the fame you worked hard while you putting your own content on the channel.

↘ ‘Well... I expected that.’

↘ After a few days, of course, you changed the main theme of your account and instead of creating it by yourself, you shared it with your beloved boyfriend (after all, you couldn’t refuse the fans and the red-head...).

↘ Now you put all kinds of videos and posts together, and the people on TikTok like both of you very much and consider you two to be the sweetest couple in the whole world.

↘ Camila and Shawn are nothing compared to you!

— RIN

↘ I think Rin would know what TikTok is, and also know that you have an account there, but he has never been more interested in it than necessary. 

↘ I mean, it might have existed, but he wouldn’t be interested in getting into the ‘world’ of any influencers and celebrities.

↘ Well. 

↘ The big boy was very busy with swimming and with planning your dates...

↘ So when he listened to music on YouTube one randomly evening and totally accidentally click a complication video with ‘WAP Challenge’ tiktoks, he was surprised that you showed up as one of the dancers.

↘ Your all movements were polished and super strong. You danced really great, better than Rin could ever have imagined. Dressed in black shorts and a gray top, you fit well with the sounds and voice of a female rapper, and as the cherry head knew English, his tongue automatically lick his lower lip.

↘ Hmm, I don’t think I need to add to this headcanon the fact that shortly after watching the short video with you about another 20 times, Rin put on his feet shoes and decided to go to your house.

[mrs-hatake]

here comes the bride: prologue

pairings: levi x female!reader + minor zeke x female!reader.

genre: alternate universe, illegal car racing, suggestive themes, arranged marriage, strangers to lovers, slow burn, falling in love, eventual smut, heavy make out sessions, hurt/comfort & fluff.

summary: “Fine.” She breathes out without bothering to hide her unhappiness. “I’ll get married.” She swallows the bile at the back of her throat. Her mother casts a radiant smile her way and weakly reaches out to take her hand in hers. 

“Thank you.” She says sincerely, bringing Y/N’s hand to her lips and kissing it with difficulty. “I’m sure you’ll come to love Levi, he will treat you right.”

a/n: helloooooo!I'm back with another aot fic :Dthe plot for this fic came to me randomly and i instantly fell in love that i HAD to write everything down. each chapter will contain trigger warnings if necessary and this chapter is tagged with tw for mentions of death and manipulation. lastly, I would like to thank my soulmate for helping with proof reading and selecting the appropriate characters for y/n. that's all that I have. happy readings! ❤️

this fic can also be found on ao3

The sound of the monitor is deafening. It’s consistent beeping is accompanied by the soft pitter patter of the rain outside as the weather slowly transitions from spring to summer, emitting an ominous atmosphere. The grey clouds and the wind howling outside, the large rectangular windows outside don’t help with the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. People rush to seek shelter and cars zoom by despite the slippery streets, eager to reach their destination without delay.

A small family of three surround a luxurious hospital bed which fully showcased their financial status and class. The bed was covered in the finest linen, a soft cream color and the silkiest pillows that accommodate  absolute comfort.

An air purifier with the aroma of lavender and honey is found in almost every room of the hospital, masking away the horrible stench of disinfectant and death. However, it still lingers in the air, like a criminal imprisoned for life.

The woman on the bed is pale, no longer looks like the tanned Goddess that had been dubbed Miss Osaka at the Young Ladies of Japan debutant three years in a row. Her long and healthy locks have lost their sheen and are brittle and dry, split ends can be seen and her grey hair is on display, when she usually dyes them every two months. The healthy fat in her body has dissolved, leaving nothing but skin and bones. Despite all of this, her glimmer of ebullience still lives on.

“How are you feeling, mother?” A young woman in her early twenties is sitting on a wooden chair next to the hospital bed with a look of worry on her face. Her fingers are brushing through the knotted hair of the dying woman on the bed while her other hand tightly holds her mother’s boney and wrinkled hand.

The older woman offers a weak, gentle smile. “I’m fine. Don’t you worry your pretty little head.” She chuckles but is soon coughing heavily, eyes shutting tightly to fight off the pain in her lungs.

“Are you alright? Should I call the nurse?”

The older woman shakes her head, however, and instead motions for the pitcher of water and the empty glass on her bedside table. Understanding dawns on her daughter’s face and she hurriedly pours a glass of warm water and hands it to her mother and helps her sit up straight to drink the entire glass in one go, her mother gasping in relief once the glass is empty.

“Mamiko.” A man in his mid sixties rubs his hand over his face in distress. He had been wearing a mask of bravery for his wife and two daughters, but seeing his usually strong and stubborn wife look so frail and weak frightened him. Memories of them butting heads, teasing each other and fighting over the course of their marriage reminds him of just how fiery his wife was. Seeing her in such a state tears off the mask he’s wearing on his face and tosses it away, exposing his true emotions.

“I’m fine, Masamune.” The woman waves him off and motions for her daughter to press the remote to raise the head of her bed so that she can sit up straight. She gives a pointed look to her husband, as if to prove her point.

All that her husband can do is sigh.

Just then, a timid knock reaches their ears and a smiling nurse enters the room with an apologetic expression on her youthful face. “I’m sorry, but visiting hours are ending soon.” She reminds them gently.

Masamune tiredly nods his head and pushes himself away from the wall to cross the short distance to where his wife is resting on the bed and lovingly kisses the top of her head. “Come back to us soon.” He whispers before heading towards the door, awaiting his two daughters.

“Get well soon, mother.” The younger of Masamune and Mamiko’s daughters, Tsukiko, is a twenty year old woman in her third year of law school and is aiming to achieve her Intellectual Property Law Certificate to assist her family in the future. She bids her mother goodbye with gentle eyes and a strong squeeze to her hand.

Y/N is about to get up from her chair and mimic her father by kissing her mother goodbye, when the older woman interrupts her, “Y/N, stay. I need to discuss something with you.”

Glancing to where her father and sister were lingering by the door, she nods her head and remains in her seat. She has a feeling that her father and younger sister are aware of the topic her mother wishes to discuss with her.

When the door is softly shut behind the two, Mamiko turns to face her eldest daughter and the heir to their company. “Have I ever told you the story of the day you were born?”

Growing up, Y/N had heard the story of her birth countless times from her parents, her grandmother who had been living with them at the time, and the maids living in their mansion all told her about it. They coined it as the funniest situation they’ve ever experienced in their lives. She had heard the story so many times that she has it memorized. Still, she shakes her head no.

“It was my twenty-fifth birthday. Your aunt Chiaki insisted that we have a girls night to celebrate the big day.” Her mother chuckles at the memory of a young Chiaki who had recently gotten a pixie cut after a terrible break up with her boyfriend of three years and how she had practically dragged Mamiko out of their house.

“We did your typical girly traditions; going shopping, getting our nails done, the usual.” Her mother weakly waves her hand. “Little did I know, your father had gathered up everyone who could come to our home on short notice for a surprise birthday party. It was around three or four o’clock in the afternoon that Chiaki and I finally decided to return home. I opened the door and the lights flickered on and a discordant ‘Happy birthday!’ was yelled. I was so elated and touched by their surprise that I couldn’t stop laughing! I laughed and laughed for five minutes straight, literally, when I felt a warm and tingling sensation trickle down my legs. Though I should be embarrassed at the thought of wetting myself in front of our guests, we quickly realized that the speed and the amount of liquid rushing through was actually because my water broke.”

“Everyone screamed and squeaked at the arrival of the baby. Panicking, I was rushed into the car with your father hysterically, frantically gathering all of the necessities we need for your delivery and drove all the way to the hospital like a mad man. Now that I think about it, I’m surprised we didn’t get into some kind of accident.” Mamiko hummed at the thought and then turned to face her daughter with raw affection in those fatigued eyes of hers, and with a shaky hand, cupped her daughter’s cheek. “And two days later, our beautiful baby girl came into our world. Your father had complained that you were as stubborn as I am for taking two days to arrive but I knew that you were taking your time to get comfortable and face the world head on.”

Y/N offered her mother a small smile as she desperately tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill and swallow the thick lump in her throat. “I love you.” She whispers with a hoarse voice.

“I love you too.” Her mother returns the sentiment with a small curl of her lips.

“And you were such a joy to raise, your sister, too? of course but you were our first. Our first child, our first daughter and our first experience as parents. There were difficult times, I can’t deny that, but seeing the woman that you are today, it was worth it.”

Y/N couldn’t stop the tears from filling her eyes and cascading down her cheeks. She licks the single tear that lingered on her tongue and turned her head to kiss her mother’s palm. “I’d trade the whole world for you to return home to us in good health.” Y/N’s voice is broken but her sincerity is firm.

“I know you would.” Her mother says as she retrieves her hand. “Which is why I hate myself for asking you for such a request... but I want you to know that I am doing this out of love and care for you.”

Y/N’s eyebrows draw together in confusion before realization dawns on her and she vehemently shakes her head in denial before her mother could voice her request. “No. No, I won’t do it.”

“Please, Y/N.” Mamiko holds her daughter's hand with hers using all of the strength she could muster. “Think of it as my dying wish.”

Y/N continues to shake her head but this time her shoulders are shaking as sobs rake her body. “Don’t say that!”

Neither of them say anything as Y/N continues to cry at the predicament they are in. Her mother; old, frail, and dying and is begging her to do the one thing that Y/N loathes more than anything. She had fought all her life with her parents to be emancipated from their backwards traditions, live her life how she sees fit and make her own decisions accordingly.

“I know your father and I weren’t the perfect example of a happy couple and that you have witnessed things little girls your age shouldn’t have witnessed but we tried to be decent and put together for your and Tsukiko’s sake.”

Suddenly, the memories of her parents screaming at the top of their lungs, insulting each other with words that Y/N knew she wasn’t meant to hear, and her father harshly grabbing her mother’s upper arm until it bruised, all came flooding in that moment. She had bare witness to their flawed marriage.

“I won’t force you into an arranged marriage, but I won’t die happy knowing that my first and eldest daughter isn’t married.” Mamiko knows that she is guilty of manipulating her daughter into a marriage, especially by using her nearing death as leverage, however, she is certain that her daughter will one day find it in her heart to forgive her. And that’s why she pushes on with her dying wish.

“Your father and I have already found a suitable man-”

“You found someone behind my back?” Y/N unintentionally snorts at her mother as though she does not care. She is hurting and is scared of being blackmailed into marriage.

Mamiko withholds the urge to heavily sigh at her daughter and patiently explains herself. “Your marital status has been haunting us for years, we can’t just ignore the fact that our daughter wishes to remain single for the rest of her life.”

“And you can’t just respect my wishes, can you?”

Mamiko’s eyes seem to glass over and get shiny, she hesitates, yet still won’t back down. She was doing this for her daughter. “Stop being stubborn for once and listen to your mother.”

Y/N rolls her eyes as she humorlessly chuckles at her mother. She had done everything for her mother’s sake, sacrificed so much to make her happy. And the one time Y/N asks for the same in return, she is strongly denied of it.

Her mother’s coughing fit snaps Y/N out of her stupor and she hastily refills the glass with water and gives it to her. Perhaps it could be the works of her mother’s illness or the inevitable truth of her mother’s demise that has Y/N letting out a noiseless exhale, her shoulders sagging as she slumps into her seat.

“Fine.” She breathes out without bothering to hide her unhappiness. “I’ll get married.” She swallows the bile at the back of her throat.

Her mother casts a radiant smile her way and weakly reaches out to take her hand in hers. “Thank you.” She says sincerely, bringing Y/N’s hand to her lips and kissing it with difficulty.

“I’m sure you’ll come to love Levi, he will treat you right.”

When she hears that name and recognizes who he is, it feels like cold water is being dumped all over her and she shivers at the thought of a future being married to an expressionless and strict man. In that instance, she felt like she wanted to bolt and run away with a new identity. But for her mother’s sake, she puts on a brave smile and nods her head.

[dokifluffs]

Not the End | Kuroo Tetsuro

Pairing: Kuroo x Reader (female)

Genre: heart warming fluff tehe

Author’s Note: Literally one of my most favorite things I have ever written so I really hope you guys like it too~!! 🥺🥰🥰time to embrace canon kuroo and make more fluff, even if it means breaking a 4th wall or 5th wall- dedicated to haikyuu, thank you for everything

He knocked repeatedly on the door as clouds casted by in the sky, blocking out the sweltering summer sun

He wore a white oversized t-shirt with the periodic table on it and black jeans

“Where is she?” He thought to himself as he spammed your doorbell, hearing the chime echo inside yet there was no movement to be seen

He glanced at his watch seeing the time

He fortunately came early but if you didn’t come out now, the window of extra time would be shutting

He was growing just the tiniest bit antsy since he had been dreaming about this date for so long and now that it was summer and volleyball was over, he had the time

Tickets were hard to get for these museums he had planned and he had a whole day planned down to every hour

It was early in summer so it was perfect, not too scorching hot

He couldn’t wait anymore and pulled out your spare key from your flowerpot, putting it back neatly as if it was never touched

“Y/N?” He called, his strong voice echoing into what seemed like an empty house

He slipped out of his shoes and made his way upstairs, almost always finding you there if you never answered the door, his calls, or anything

Your bedroom was like your sanctum having all that you needed- an air con fan, tv, surround sound, and most importantly, your bed that you had all to yourself

approaching your bedroom, the door cracked open, he could hear the faintest sound of music playing 

“Oya?” He knocked on your bedroom door as he pushed it open, relieved to find you

But he didn’t know how to feel seeing you curled up wearing his stolen hoodie, still in bed when you knew about the time for today’s events

“Hey, what’s up? We have to get to the station-“ he paused when he saw you look up to him, uncurling your face from your pillow

Your eyes were red and cheeks tear stained, matching your pillow cover that you hugged

“K-Kuroo...” you sobbed, inching yourself in your little ball form toward him as he sat on the edge of your bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight

“W-what is it?” He was surprised as you laid your head on his lap

His mind went frantic as he went through your messages in his head, trying to remember if it was a certain day he missed- it wasn’t anyone that he knew of’s birthday, not an anniversary date or anything

Why were you so heartbroken?

Your eyes glistened from the sunlight in the room as you teared up once again, little wet drops forming on his jeans

“R-remember that manga and anime I was watching?” You sniffled as you sat up, your pillow in your lap and your fingers playing with the hem of it. “The volleyball one?”

“Yeah, did a character die or something?” He tried to make light of the situation and it worked, just the slightest but your emotions were getting the best of you

“No, but the last chapter of the manga came out…” tears dripped off your chin as you swallowed a hardened lump in your throat, the words aching as you spoke

listening carefully, he could hear you were listening to a slowed down version of one of the opening themes- he only knew this because of how many times you would put on the themes while riding in the car

but this was the slowed down version, or as you called it the “moonlight version,” and it was setting the mood for you, making you more sad 

Kuroo remembered the day back in junior high/ end of grade school when you started following this manga about volleyball

“You need to stop listening to this, it’s just making you sadder,” he laughed awkwardly, pausing the song that was playing on loop. he knew this volleyball anime/manga meant the world to you, but not like this 

Your eyes lit up when you read or talked about it to him and he asked you why not play for the girls’ team but you settled on being the manager for Nekoma instead, wanting to cheer them on and also being with kuroo and kenma and all your other close friends on the team 

It made him feel like you loved the show and manga more than him sometimes and it kinda hurt since they were fictional characters and he was your boyfriend, a real life actual volleyball player

“All the characters got their story, they grew above and beyond, and the main character was finally able to make it to the world stage with his partner from the high school team and- “ your voice cracked as you spoke, the wound reopening, fresh in your chest as everything you read, everything you watched, all the glorious moments came rushing through your mind

Everything you fell in love with for the past eight years came rushing back and you loved it all so much, it made you so warm but it also hurt thinking about how there wouldn’t be any more to it

You wanted to curl into a hole and rewatch and reread everything as much as you could

No more chapters, most likely no more official arts- all you had left was the animated show that would be continuing and finishing in a couple months

“Kuroo, I don’t want it to end,” you sobbed, your hair falling, hiding your face

He didn’t miss how your knuckles turned white as you gripping your pillow, only able to imagine the heartache you were feeling

he knew very well how much this all meant to you, all the rants and extensive conversations you had with him, begging him to watch the show- especially because of a bed headed character that was just like him 

you reminded him so much of kenma- you talked, read, and watched everything about this story like kenma when he got a new game or was watching hinata play volleyball

You want to see more, hear more of the voice actors, the characters growing. You want to be beside all of them and see their story to the very end

All the antics between the characters that made you break into a smile or fits of giggles, all the cheers made for the different teams in your manga/anime- all were so addicting

“Hey, shhh,” he pulled you gently into his embrace, one hand holding the back of your head, the other rubbing down your back. “I know you don’t but all good things must come to an end, right?”  

He glanced at his watch just the slightest bit, seeing the time, relieved to know he still had enough

“Look on the bright side; you were able to read and watch it while it was still being made, you got to anticipate the next chapter and episode, seeing all the characters develop and become great people who’ve had such a great impact on your life.”

He pulled you back and wiped your tears away on your cheek

“This may be the end of the story, but it’s not the end for you; everything will live on inside of you, right?” He held your face in his hands, making sure his words got to you

“It won’t be the end of your life, or any of your favorite characters’. The story you were presented with came to an end but their lives are still going, just like yours.”

You buried yourself into his arms, muffling your cries into his neck as he chuckled, holding you

“Come on, get dressed and I’ll make sure all this sadness you’re feeling will go away. I’ll be the wind that’ll shift the storm cloud brewing above your head,” he stood up, still holding you and setting your feet on the ground

“I won’t let you be sad, not on my watch, chibi-chan,” he looked down to you with a smile as he pat your head. “Your body won’t even realize L-trytophan’s being converted into L-5OH-trytophan, converting serotonin by an aromatic L-amino acid decarboxylase.”

The gawk you had made him let out his hyena laugh, just hurting his pride ever so slightly that he had made one of the smoothest lines in love-history and you didn’t even swoon

“I’m gonna make happy chemical in your body make your heart go doki doki,” he put simply to which you nodded, breaking in to a laugh, calling him a nerd under your breath as you changed

But he was your nerd, and he was right 

No matter where you were in life, you got to have this special manga and story in your life and experience it first-hand whereas others were missing it

Everyone lives on, even if you can’t see them

Thank you, Furudate, for bringing Haikyuu into this world <3

~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!

Tags (let me know if you wanna be tagged for all my haikyuu posts): @yams046  @mazey-chan  @sunboikyo00  @kara-grayson04​  @fortheloveofbakugo​ @tsumtsumsemi​ @osamuonigiri @sam-ate-giorno​​​ @1-800-wholesome​ @realityisoftendisapointing@plantisnotplant @k-eijiakaashi​ @pink-panda-pancakes​ @differentballooncollection​ @osamusamusamu@therainroguefanfiction​ @euphorihan

[lovely-ateez]

Silver Nights With You~

ꕥPosted: 12/18/20

ꕥGenre: College!au, Christmas Imagine, Fluff, Angst & Smut (You know it’s gonna end happy, I’m a sap)

ꕥPairing: FemReader! x Mingi

ꕥSummary: You get stuck in a cabin with Mingi and shit goes down( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ꕥWord Count: ~4.9k (Holy shit I’ve never written this much before I am so sorry)

ꕥWarnings: Angst, Thigh riding, Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it my dudes), Praise (m & f receiving),

ꕥA/N: This is the most angst I will ever write, I was genuinely on the brink of tears while writing this because I honestly can’t stand people being sad. Anyway this literally took me days to write and I really hope you all like it :)

ꕥTagging: @raysanshine​

“It’s fucking cold.” I took a sip of my hot cocoa, burying myself deeper in the mountain of blankets on my lap, glancing at the snow falling outside.

Wooyoung scoffed and spread his arms along the back of his couch, “It’s December, of course it’s gonna be cold.”

I turned back to him, “Okay, yeah, but I’m still gonna complain about it.”

“You complain about everything.”

“That is a gross over-exaggeration that portrays me in an unfair light and, frankly, you should be ashamed.”

My closest friend smiled, showing his slight dimples. His eyes drifted to my own, smile fading slightly. “What do I have to do for you to join us? Even for an hour or so?”

I sighed. Wooyoung had been bothering me about coming to our friend Yunho’s annual Christmas party for days now, but I simply wasn’t in the mood.

“I’d rather not go at all.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

A year ago at the same party, my boyfriend Mingi broke up with me. It wasn’t a bad breakup, but it still hurt. He was set to study abroad for the next year and it just made the most sense to him, he told me. So who was I to stand in the way of his dreams? We decided to cut contact shortly after, it being too painful for us to even have small talk. We hadn’t talked since.

I’d spent the following year in a limbo, trying my hardest to enjoy my newfound independence, but ultimately failing, my thoughts somehow finding their way back to Mingi. Everything reminded me of him.

Rainy days made me think of the way he loved to dance with me in the rain, spinning me and smiling wide, warm raindrops messing up our hair. Sunny days made me think of the times we’d both take off work to have picnics, making wishes on dandelions. Stormy days made me think of how we’d cuddle up to one another and watch a trash movie, making fun of the characters’ bad choices. He was a part of me. He always would be. I suppose two years of dating does that. I suppose they take a part of you with them, too.

I told myself I healed. I told myself I was over him. But deep, deep down I knew I wasn’t. Part of me never would be.

“He won’t be there this year, if that helps at all.”

I remained silent, refusing Wooyoung a response, looking down at the carpet.

“I get it. I know what you’re going through. It really wasn’t that long ago that Aisha broke up with me.”

My eyes darted up. Wooyoung hadn’t talked about their breakup with me yet. I refused to push him, knowing he was still in pain and that he’d tell me when he was ready.

“It was for the best but I can’t pretend like I’m gonna move on soon. We were dating for a year and a half for god’s sake.” He let out a bitter laugh and turned to me, “I know it’s tough, but would you do it for me? Please come.”

“Okay.”

-

The high shrill of a female voice rang out through my phone, leading me to pull the device away from my ear.

“I knew Wooyoung could get you to change your mind!”

“Arin I get that you’re excited, but I’m gonna go deaf if you keep yelling.”

“Ack I’m sorry! I’m just so excited to see you! It’s been, what? Five months since I saw you last?”

“Yeah something like that.”

“Well anyways, I know it’s probably tough for you but I really appreciate you going. I know everyone else will, too.”

I tried to push down the longing I felt for Mingi, remembering the previous year in far too much detail.

“Yeah it’ll be nice to see them.”

“Okay I hate to cut it short but my boss might actually fire me if he finds me on my phone again.”

“You’re literally dating him. There’s no way in hell he’d fire you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“Shh not so loud!”

I rolled my eyes, knowing I was speaking no louder than usual.

“Alright. Take care then. I’ll see you at the party.”

“Yep! Love you, girly!”

“Love you, too. See ya.”

My phone beeped, signaling the end of the call.

I checked the calendar hanging on the wall of my bedroom. Three more days till the party and I was dreading it more and more.

A knock at the door startled me and I made my way over, opening the door to find Wooyoung standing before me with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“What are you doing here?”

“What? Can’t a guy just drop by to say hello to his best friend?”

“He can, but you only do when you’re up to something. What is it this time?”

“Nothing! Scout’s honor!” He lifted a hand to make the famous three-fingered salute. 

“You were never a boy scout, dumbass.”

Wooyoung brought a hand to his chest, mocking offense, “I’ll have you know that I simply brought flowers over as a thank you for agreeing to come with us.”

“Aww really? Do you wanna come in?”

“Yeah, really. But nah I can’t stay, I just wanted to drop them off.”

“You’re sweet.”

A cocky smile formed on his face, “I know.”

He passed the flowers over to me, giving me a hug and saying his goodbyes. I watched him walk to his car, a little skip in his step, wondering how anyone could let him go.

-

I grabbed my warmest jacket and walked out to my car. Today was the day I’d been dreading for weeks. Today was the day I’d have to put on a brave face and pretend I was alright. I mentally hyped myself up as I slid into the driver’s seat.

You’ll be okay. You’re strong. You can do this.

Snow was already starting to fall and I made a mental note to be careful. After all, Yunho’s cabin was roughly an hour away.

As I drove, the snow began to fall much faster, leaving me no choice but to feel concerned. My car didn’t have four-wheel-drive and what if my car got stuck? I was only fifteen minutes away but in snow like this with such a low temperature, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to walk the rest of the way.

The sun had already begun to set and seeing the road becoming much harder. Only four more minutes with the current speed I was going. I could make it.

Of course, the universe wasn’t having it and my car broke down almost immediately after I had the thought.

“Fuck.”

I panicked for a brief moment, trying to start up my car with no success.

Wait. My phone.

Grabbing my phone at rapid speed, I found it out of battery.

“I literally just charged it what the hell?”

I tried my best to cope with the fact that I had no choice but to walk the rest of the way. Taking a deep breath, I opened my car door and braced for the cold wind.

Trudging through the snow storm, I felt my ears and hands begin to hurt from the cold. I could barely see where I was going, having to rely on remembering where the cabin was based on the times I had been there prior.

Eventually I spotted a cabin in the distance and kept going, feeling myself lose heat with every step.

Finally, I climbed up the stairs and reached the main doorway.

I knocked loudly against the large wooden door, silently pleading for someone to answer. After waiting a few seconds with no response I tried to turn the door knob, grateful to find it unlocked. 

I pushed the door open and entered, quickly closing it behind me. Warm air rushed over me and I never felt so thankful for indoor heating. The inside looked the same as it always did; the main door lead to the living room which had the same snow globes above the fireplace as always, the same Christmas decorations scattered throughout, and the Christmas tree in the same corner as usual.

I shivered and moved to find a blanket when I saw a tall figure enter the living room. I looked up, feeling my heart drop. Standing before me was the one man that I didn’t want to be here.

Mingi’s eyes widened and mouth opened, looking at me with surprise. It seemed both of us were frozen, unable to do anything other than look at one another.

His rich chestnut hair was longer than when I saw him last, it was parted in the center, reaching his eyes. He was wearing a fitted green sweater that complimented his honey skin and tight ripped jeans. I refused to allow myself to acknowledge how attractive he truly looked. I refused to tell myself how much I missed him and how I wanted nothing more than to jump in his arms.

“What are you doing here?” I managed to say, hating how timid my voice sounded. It’s because of the cold, I thought.

He seemed to come out of his trance, “I could ask you the same.”

“I’m here for the Christmas party.”

Mingi gave me a confused look. “The party isn’t until the twenty third.”

Annoyed, I narrowed my eyes, “It is the twenty third.”

He raised a brow and took his phone from his pocket, turning it to me, ‘December 19th’ it read.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” I huffed, moving to sit down on the couch while running my hands along my arms for some sort of warmth. Mingi noticed immediately and left the room only to bring back several thick blankets.

I removed my jacket and wrapped the blankets around me as tight as I could.

“My car broke down a while back and my phone is dead. Is there anyone here that could give me a ride?” I didn’t want to spend more time with him than I had to. It hurt too damn much.

Mingi gave an apologetic smile, “I’m the only one here, actually.”

I gave the man a confused look, “Why are you here?”

“My second semester ended so I’m no longer studying abroad. I came back to visit friends but didn’t have a place to stay so Yunho has let me stay here for a few days.” He was silent for a few seconds before adding, “I was gonna leave before the party I-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself. It’s fine.”

Silence.

“I would take you home if I could, but my car is being fixed right now so it isn’t here. We could call someone maybe if that-”

“Yeah that’s fine. Can I borrow your phone?”

He nodded and handed it over. I didn’t notice it when he showed me his phone before, but his lock screen was different. It shouldn’t have hurt to see that it changed from a selfie of us to a picture of him with friends I assume he made abroad. It shouldn’t have. It had been a year, I should be over him.

I opened his phone without needing a password and tried to hide a smile. He never had a password in all the time I’d known him.

Good to know some things never change.

I dialed Wooyoung’s number and pressed the call button.

“We are sorry, but at this time your service provider is out of range. Please-”

Great.

I handed back his phone, “You don’t have any signal.”

“That’s odd, we always have service here...Do you wanna charge your phone? Maybe you’ll have better luck?”

“Yeah.”

He left the room and I placed my head in my hands, trying to process seeing him for the first time in a year. He was devastatingly handsome and still as kind as always.

I really miss him, don’t I?

His voice started me, “Hand me your phone, I’ll plug it in for you.”

I passed my phone over, accidentally touching his warm hands and I felt a spark run through me which I did my best to ignore. With almost comical timing, just as Mingi reached a plug-in, the lights went out.

“Uhh...that’s not supposed to happen.”

I scoffed, “No kidding. Do we have a generator?”

“Honestly, I don’t think we do.” Mingi gave me a sad look, “It’s been snowing hard outside for hours so there’s no way we’ll be able to leave now. Even with a car.”

“Awesome. I love to hear that.”

“At the very least we’ve got food to last us a few days. We should be okay-”

“Do I look like I want to spend several days here?” I snapped.

He looked taken aback at my words and I felt a pang of regret in my chest.

“I’m not sure we have a choice.”

I hated to admit it, but he was right.

“Do you want any food?”

“Huh?” I asked, confused.

“Are you hungry? I could make you something if you’d like.”

I thought for a moment. “Yeah, actually. If you don’t mind, anyway.”

Mingi shook his head, walking to the kitchen. I didn’t realize how hungry I really was until he mentioned it, so I didn’t care what he made for me.

Minutes later he placed a plate and cup on the coffee table in front of me.

My favorite sandwich and chips. He remembered.

It should have been considered kind, but it just broke my heart a bit further. It was a simple act, but it proved that he stored it in his memory.

He remembered.

“I hope it’s still your favorite. I got you your favorite lemonade, too.”

I nodded, trying to prevent tears from spilling.

“I’ll be honest, I’m not quite sure what to do.”

“Lighting the fireplace would probably be a good start.”

He laughed, “Ah you’re totally right. I’ll be back with a lighter, call out to me if you need anything.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

Stuffing my face with the sandwich, I hummed. I always loved his sandwiches. There was something special about them, knowing that he made them for me, and this one was no different.

Mingi once again returned, this time with a lighter and a blanket, lighting the fire and sitting down on the couch across from me, wrapping himself in the blanket.

I couldn’t help but wonder how I possibly ended up in the current situation. Maybe the universe was out to get me. Who knows?

I took another bite of my sandwich, hoping I’d be able to leave soon.

-

I briefly glanced over at Mingi to find him on his phone.

Lucky. I wish I had mine so I wouldn’t be so damn bored.

The crackle of the fireplace was the only noise for what seemed like an hour. Neither one of us spoke. Growing tired of not doing anything, I stood and walked towards the fireplace to admire the snow globes. I noticed that behind the globes rested a photo album. I debated whether or not I should open it for the span of a few seconds before my curiosity got the best of me.

Opening it up, I saw pictures of all of our friends from the previous years of Yunho’s Christmas party. I began to walk back to the couch with my eyes on the book when I tripped, some of the pictures falling out. Mingi noticed and quickly rushed over to my side.

“Are you alright?” He was careful not to touch me, I noticed, but he was still right by my side.

“I’m fine, just help me pick these up.” I motioned towards the pictures scattered across the floor.

“Of course.”

We resumed our silence, picking the photos up and placing them back in the book. Noticing Mingi had stopped helping me I looked at him, prepared to make a quick jab at him for not helping, when I saw why he stopped.

In his hands he was holding a picture of the two of us kissing, dated two years prior.

I let out an empty chuckle, devoid of all humor, “I don’t know why that’s still there. Here,” I reached out to take the photo, “I’ll throw it away-”

“Don’t.” His response was immediate, taking me by surprise. He shifted awkwardly, clearing his throat, “I’d like to keep it.”

My heart felt like it stopped for a moment, hoping he missed us as much as I did.

“Why?” I asked.

Mingi smiled, still looking at the frozen image of the two of us. “Do you remember this day?”

“Of course I do.” My eyes began to water without me realizing, “That day was the first time you told me you loved me.”

His eyes found mine, sadness within them, “Yeah. Yeah it was.” His voice became horse as if he was fighting back tears.

“I didn’t want to let you go.”

“Then why did you?”

His eyes drifted down. “I was traveling halfway across the world for a year. I guess part of me thought you would meet someone else. I wanted to save myself the heartbreak in case you did.”

“I would’ve gladly stayed with you if you had asked. I have no desire to meet anyone else. Ever. You are the only one for me.” I froze, the realization of my words hitting me.

Mingi looked at me, “When I was abroad, I missed you every second of every day and I have missed you every second of every day since.” His hands cupped my face as if I was made of glass and a single tear fell down his cheek, causing my own tears to spill.

I was no longer able to speak, and so I did the only thing I could think of: I kissed him.

I kissed him with all the hurt that I felt after he left me. I kissed him with the deep love that I still felt for him. I kissed him with the fear that I’d lose him once again.

Our kisses soon grew heated, the photo album quickly forgotten, and I found my arms wrapped around his neck, hands running through his soft hair while his found their way to the bottom of my sweater, toying with it.

“Do you want this?” He growled, voice much deeper and raspier than before.

“Yes.”

With that, he pulled my sweater over my head, eyes scanning the red, lacy bra I was wearing.

His favorite.

Mingi chuckled, “This is still my favorite bra of yours.”

“I don’t know, I’ve got some new ones that are pretty hot.”

He let out a groan and began to leave kisses down my neck, setting my skin on fire.

I stopped him, needed to know one thing before we continued, “Did you...have you...since we last...?”

He smiled, “How could I? I’ve only ever been yours. Have you?”

I gave a slight smile, “No. No, I haven’t.”

I kissed him again and lifted his sweater, tossing it across the room. He had slightly defined abs when I was with him before, but they were far more prominent now. His arms were much more defined and it took all of my concentration to keep from drooling.

“Like what you see, doll?”

My voice was a borderline squeak, “Yes.”

“You still into praise, sweetheart?

I nodded, pulling on his jeans. Only slightly embarrassed with how eager I was.

“Not yet, baby.” Mingi easily lifted me to the couch and helped me remove my jeans. He grabbed my hips and placed me on his thigh, tightening his muscles as he dragged my clothed core across his own jeans. In mere seconds I became a quivering mess. I realized how truly long it had been since I’d been with anyone like this, and I had to admit I was needy.

“What a good girl you’re being for me. Aren’t you? You’re doing wonderfully, my love.”

I whimpered and pulled myself closer to him.

“Are you close, baby?”

I nodded, maybe too quickly, and felt my orgasm wash over me. I panted, already out of breath.

“Good girl.”

Bringing my lips to his I reached for his pants again and this time he helped me remove them. As I grinded down against him, he let out a deep growl.

“Let’s rid you of these, hmm?”

He eagerly removed my panties and bra and stared at me for a minute.

“God, you’re beautiful.”

I blushed fiercely. “You’re so incredibly handsome. Somehow even more so than when I saw you last.”

Mingi looked at me with a shy smile then resumed his actions. He removed his underwear and ran his length across my slit, teasing me slightly.

“Mingi, I need you.” I begged.

His eyes darkened and he entered me without hesitation. My back arched as he reached a steady pace and littered my neck with kisses, most likely leaving hickies, marking me as his.

I pulled his hair, bringing him closer to me. Mingi was always fairly vocal, but he could never get enough of me pulling his hair, always moaning in response.

He reached down and toyed with my clit, causing sparks to fly through me.

“Fuck—babe don’t stop.”

“Wasn’t—shit—planning on it, doll.”

Both of us quickly reached our high, cumming at the same time. I pressed a hand against his chest as I caught my breath.

“You’re still really, really good at that.”

Mingi laughed, “You are too, sweetheart. Oh wait-”

He got up and returned with a warm towel, cleaning me up and looking at me fondly.

“You’re cute.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mingi smiled, placing the towel aside,“Now, how about we get under some blankets? We’ll feel cold soon enough.”

I nodded and began to put my undergarments on, reaching for my sweater.

“I think not.” He said, now with his pants on, handing me his own sweater which I gladly took.

“You look hella good in my clothes, miss.”

I giggled at his choice of words, feeling happiness bubble in my chest for the first time in a long time.

“You look hella good without a shirt, mister.”

Mingi raised a brow and ticked my sides, making me squeal.

“I’ll fight you!” I yelled.

He stopped and rubbed his nose against mine, “Sorry I can’t help it. Your laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world.”

“Shut up.” I laughed, feeling shy.

He placed arm around me, nuzzling my neck.

I turned to him, worry in my eyes, “I’m really sorry for lashing out at you earlier. That’s not like me.”

He smiled, “I know it’s not. But don’t worry about it, I understand. It’s a defense mechanism I guess.”

I cuddled up to him then realized I needed to use the restroom. I tried to get up when he pulled me closer to him.

“Please don’t leave me.”

“Silly, I just have to use the restroom. I don’t want a UTI.”

He laughed aloud, “Fine but you better come right back.”

“I will,” I told him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before I walked away.

I soon looked in the mirror of the bathroom, observing my flushed cheeks and the wide smile I couldn’t seem to wipe off my face.

This girl looks happy. I think I can get used to seeing her in the mirror.

I returned and was instantly pulled back into his arms.

“I love you.”

I felt a tear run down my face, feeling beyond happy, “I love you, too. So much.”

I wasn’t sure when, but I felt my eyes began to droop, slowly falling asleep in the arms of the man I loved.

-

The day following, Mingi’s phone recieved signal and I was able to call Wooyoung. Apparently the power lines had fallen, everyone in the immediate area losing power. The nearest roads had been somehow cleared overnight and he’d be able to come pick me up.

“Wooyoung’s on his way over, apparently everyone lost power.”

“Hmm. well I, for one, am glad we did,” Mingi pulled me into a tight hug.

“Yeah, me too.”

A silence fell between us, but it was comfortable this time.

Mingi spoke up, his voice becoming playful, “I’m taking you on a date soon. There’s nothing you can do about, I’m afraid you cannot refuse.”

“As if I would refuse.”

“Mmm.” I didn’t think he could, but he pulled me even closer to him.

“Mingi you’re literally gonna break my bones.”

He let go of me, eyes wide, “Did I hurt you? Gosh I’m so sorry I can—”

“You didn’t hurt me you goof.”

“Oh good. You scared me.”

The honk of a car horn scared me and I jumped, Mingi hiding a smile.

“Call me if you need anything, okay? You’ve got my number.”

“Of course.” Giving him one last kiss before I bid him goodbye and left the cabin, hopping in Wooyoung’s car.

“Holy shit are you okay? Was anyone even home? My god I feel so bad—”

“Mingi was there.”

Wooyoung’s face froze, quickly turning into a scowl, “I swear if he did anything to you—”

“No, don’t worry about it. We’ve made up,” I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face.

He didn’t say anything, he only stared at me before he spoke again, “You two totally fucked, didn’t you?”

“Wooyoung!” I slapped his arm in shock.

“You didn’t deny it!”

“Oh shut up. Just take me home.”

He playfully rolled his eyes and put the car in drive.

“Just so you know, I’m happy for you. I get why he did it but I am still a little pissed. I swear to fucking god if he breaks your heart again I will actually break his knee caps.”

“Oh I don’t doubt it. I wouldn’t worry to much about it, though.”

“If you insist, okay.”

“I do.”

-

December twenty third. The day that I had been dreading once, now one that I had been very much looking forward to. I checked my makeup and outfit once more before texting Mingi.

Me: I’m ready whenever you are!

Mingi Mango: I’m outside :)

Me: Shit, already?

Mingi Mango: Language

I scoffed, grabbing my purse and running outside to meet him.

“Babyyyyyy!” Mingi yelled as he saw me.

“Mangoooo!” I yelled back, jumping into his arms.

“How are you? I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Mingi it’s been two days.”

“But it feels like forever! You look absolutely stunning, by the way.”

“You cheese. You look really good yourself.”

“You know it,” Mingi winked and opened his passenger car door for me, “My lady.”

I was unable to keep from smiling, giving him a little kiss on the cheek and climbing into the car. The entire car ride was filled with lighthearted conversation, not a single silent moment between us.

“We’re here, doll.”

“Yes I see the cabin in front of us.” I teased him.

“Well just in case you didn’t I thought I’d let you know.” He laughed, eyes disappearing into crescents, and I felt my heart swell.

We held hands as we walked into the cabin, finding several pairs of eyes turning to us, then to our intertwined hands. I was pleased to find smiles on my friend’s faces, feeling happy that they were happy for us. Arin came running towards me at a seemingly inhuman speed and wrapped her arms around me.

“Ahhh how are you, girly? I’ve missed you so much! And you look gorgeous! I love that sweater on you! And your makeup! Wow! How’d you do that? Have you been eating well?”

“One question at a time, Arin.” I smiled.

“Sorry! I’m just so happy!”

"Me too!” I looked around, “Do you know where Wooyoung is?”

“Oh he’s out back with San. They’re having a competition to see who can build the better snowman.”

I shook my head with a smile.

At that moment she took a step back, looking at our hands. I had told her about Mingi and I dating again over the phone and she seemed happy for me, but I had to admit I was nervous to see her reaction in person.

“You,” She pointed a finger at Mingi, “If you hurt even a hair on her head I will actually fight you.”

Mingi’s eyed widened, assuring her that he would never hurt me.

She clapped her hands, “Well, good. Now that that’s over, do you all want a drink?” Arin cocked her head, the change in mannerisms throwing me a little.

“Yeah that’s fine.”

“Okay! I’ll be right back! Catch up with everyone you two!”

As if he was a ghost, Yunho appeared next to Mingi, scaring us both.

“Christ, Yunho. Give a man a warning first.”

“Sorry,” He chucked, “How are you both?”

“We’re doing well, thanks.”

“We’re happy.” Mingi turned to me and looked at me with heart eyes, butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

“You all are cute. Speaking of, you haven’t met Mia, have you?”

Mingi and I exchanged confused looks.

“No, I don’t believe so. Who’s that?”

“She’s my new girlfriend. We’ve been dating for a little over a month but if I’m being honest, I’m already head over heels for this girl.” Yunho turned, calling out to a girl surrounded by people, “Mia, can you come here?”

The short brunette walked over, a smile plastered on her face as she made eye contact with Yunho.

“I’d like you to meet my friends from high school.” He introduced us and she nodded, fully invested in the conversation.

“I’ve heard a lot about you both! I’m so excited to get to know you all better!”

I smiled at her enthusiasm, “Aww you, too!”

Arin walked over and handed Mingi and I our drinks, skipping off to meet another friend.

Yunho and Mia wondered off soon after, greeting more people coming in.

“Hey I’ve got something I wanna show you.” Mingi whispered in my ear.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Come with me.”

Before I knew it, Mingi was pulling me into a bathroom and locking the door.

“I know what you’re doing, Mango.”

“And what’s that?” He asked as he leaned down to reach my neck, kissing me gently, arms resting on my hips.

“We’re at a party.” I said, whining at him but doing nothing to stop him.

“I saw that couch when we walked in, you know? I’m never going to be able to look at it the same.”

“Me either.”

My head eventually won the fight I was having with myself, and I promised that if he could wait till he dropped me off I’d be all his. It seemed to appease him as he gave me one last kiss and led us out of the bathroom. Somehow, no one noticed and I was grateful, sure that my flustered expression would certainly give us away.

“Hey, look at this.”

My eyes moved in the direction Mingi was pointing, seeing a mistletoe directly above us.

“Oh you definitely planned that.”

“And if I did?”

“I’d kiss you all the same.”

Mingi bent down to kiss me, a hand on my face, another around my waist. As I wrapped my own hands around his neck, deepening the kiss, I couldn’t help but think that this was what true happiness felt like.

Thank you, Mingi. Thank you for giving me the greatest gift of your love. Merry Christmas, my love.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Classic Heavy x OnPeriod!Reader || Oneshot

Title: Period Horniness Mixed With Boredom and a Busy Boyfriend? 

Notes: 

Please let me know if I haven't used AFAB correctly! I just didn't want to back y’all into too small a corner. So, this is meant to be ‘Reader who gets periods’. Could be a cis female, transitioning trans female, gender-neutral or agender person with a vagina, etc. Just, provided you have a vagina. 

I know he isn't on the list but I wanted to try someone new! I don't play TF2 but I’ve read what there is of the comics! I loved them! ^^

Plot: So...

You decided that it was a good idea to sext Chevy. 

Warnings: SMUT (Penis in Vagina). Period sex (He licks it once but that’s it in the way of blood to mouth), dirty talk, Daddy kink, dirty names, etc. *Cough* Creampie also. Lets hope videogame characters cant procreate or contract STD’s. I meant for it to be nasty smut, but due to my lack of experience and fluff brain I dunno if it actually is 😅 So beware. 

~~~

As you are bored out of your mind and reading smuts (Dean Winchester. Beetlejuice. Herman Carter. Oh boy), causing your libido to get even more aggressive in your current hormonal state, you shrink down further into the couch cushions and groan from pain. 

Not from cramps; You don’t get them as bad as others anymore, thank god (And besides, you have a hot water bottle underwear your shirt and the top of your sweats), but from the fact that your very huge, very hot and very lusty boyfriend is stuck in a meeting elsewhere!! Pouting, you drop your phone onto your chest and drop your head to the side, staring at the ceiling. 

You sigh. 

Ross, on the other couch across from you, rolls his head to the side and puts down his magazine to raise his bushy brows at you. “What is yer problem??” 

“Hm,” You sigh again. “Nothing... “ 

As Ross looks back at his Lifestyle you get an idea, a cheeky smile slowly skidding across your lips as you peak down at your phone on your chest. Ooooh... Snatching up the phone, you open up Chevy’s message tab and start tapping out a text. “Heheh... “ 

You: Hey Chev. If you could do anything to me and I h a d to say yes, what would you do? 

Then quickly you turn off the phone and set it back in its place screen down on your chest. You wonder, what would he say if he responded? What would you really agree to? 

... actually lets not wonder that. We may scare ourselves. Lets just say; Much. 

A few minutes later your phone buzzes and you take a moment, calming your nerves and your excitement before you pick it up and open the messages again. 

Chevy: Ohhh, I wouldn’t go there sweet bottom. Very, very busy right now.  

Chewing on your thumb nail, you grin broadly at the screen and wonder even more what he’s thinking. 

You: What should I do while I wait for you then? If you’re so busy I’ll be so wet when you get here... 

You: Already am pretty soaked actually. I tried to handle it myself. . . 

Okay, this is the great thing about Chevy, realise. You can say whatever you like, sex-wise, and you wont ever be embarrassed. Because you know he’s always up to fuck, and he’s usually thinking about it first. 

Chevy: Oh, are you just teasing me or are you gonna send proof? This is a dangerous game your playing princess/prince. 

Oh dear. You cant send proof! How can you deflect this? “Ahh... “ Thinking as you look around the room, muttering in a panic ‘Um. Um. Um. Um-’, “OH!” You hop up from the couch and duck behind it, pull the front of your shirt forward and quickly snap a picture of your chest, before fixing your clothes and jumping back onto the couch, laying on your back again. Cheeks rosy from the adrenaline. Ross looks confused at you, nose scrunched up and beard askew, but you just waive him off and send the picture. You don’t type anything this time. 

“Squirrely... “ Ross mutters in annoyance, shaking his head back at his reading material. 

Your phone buzzes again and you try to keep a straight face as you read the block of text, and watch the attachment, the bottom half of your face hidden comfortably behind the collar of your shirt to hide your frazzled-ness. 

Chevy: Baby, you know that’s not what I meant... But look what its done to me. Devil person. 

*Chevy Attached: A video of his lap shifting, and there’s a slight bulge in his black pants. 

Eyes wide at the video he must’ve taken on the sly under the table, of his gently growing prominence, as he shifts to get more comfortable with it. Its just enough movement for you to imagine it thrusting onto your aching section and it makes you hide even more of your face under your shirt. “Jesus... “ This may have been a bad idea. 

Bad I cant stop. 

You: I love that

Chevy: I know 

*Chevy Attached: A picture of his grinning face from below, looking off assumedly to the slideshow or whatever they’re being shown in that meeting. 

Why is that cocky, mischievous look on his face, which some (Including yourself sometimes) would call an asshole look, hotter then the outline of his huge, ever loving cock?? It just doesn't add up! 

This is becoming a cruel, and unusual form of torture. You’ve never tried sexting before today, and you regret it. 

Ohhh, god. You wish he was here! Closing your eyes for a moment and furrowing your eyebrows from frustration and longing, you shamelessly imagine how Chev would lead you to the nearest empty room with a door (Any room. Laundry? Kitchen? Your room? His? Someone else's?? It wouldn’t matter to him, and by the time he got your favourite weapon of his out you wouldn't either. At least, that’s the way things were the last time you checked.) push your body against the wall and thrust his cock deep into you as he plays torturously with your front with his huge hands... 

And it wouldn't be hard. You’re already totally slick, with blood and slick. 

Oh, god. You love that he’s there for period sex. 

As you imagined, you had let your head fall to the side slowly relaxing. And, as you imagined further, fantasising about your orgasm building up and feeling your pussy ache for pressure in real life you start to hear h e a v y footsteps coming towards this room in the hall. 

Just as you realise that your knight in shining cargo has come you snap your eyes open and there that man is, standing behind the couch above you, jaw taught. You cant see his lower section due to the back of the couch obscuring your view but a broad grin rips across your lips anyway at the speediness of his arrival and the forcefulness - in other words, desperation, - in his face. You immediately, kind of hilariously, yank out the hot water bottle from your clothes.  “Well, hi there!- Oh,”

He just leans down, fixes his ginormous, manly hands around your waist and plucks you off the couch with ease, literally throwing you over his shoulder - your ass by his head, - and starts walking with just as much force as he came towards the exit. Oh, here we go... 

Your pussy sings at the pressure of his broad shoulder pressing against it, and bumping against it as he walks, and you would be embarrassed by that but instead you just promise it that its going to get its real treat, real soon. 

“Baby girl/boy, you’ve been a real, desperate, whore.” Cheavy growls out as he finds a room and turns on his heel, getting you both inside and kicking the door hard closed. You take that as a sign of how hard he’s about to fuck you, tingling with excitement. He lifts you off his shoulder and plops you down on the washing machine - or dryer? You don’t know. You just know its on, and its sending delicious vibrations through your core, - making you moan at the sudden, total attention to your cunt. But you’re also occupied sitting still, caught in his stern, smirking expression. “I really shouldn't reward you for behaviour like that, kid.”

Knitting your eyebrows together and shifting forward on the machine, opening your legs so he can nestle himself between them and running your hands around his neck so you can guide him forward you whine. Simping. “You don’t want to leave either, though, do you... ?” You smirk slyly. 

“Right.” He smirks back, even more mischievously then you. It makes you wonder, and your pussy yearn. “That’s why I’m doing this for me.” One of those hands, your favourite hands in the entire world (Well apart from that of those who fight for minorities rights every day *Sit com wink into the camera*. ) moves between the two and latches onto your mound, making you jolt forwards into it as he cups and massages it. His hand perfectly cups it, too. Palm big enough to press against the lips, thumb strong enough at the top to rub up and down the top and the rest of his fingers just warm it all up. “Are you gonna be an obedient, disgusting little cock sleeve?” Caught in his gaze, and almost too turned on to respond, you stay still for a moment, thighs just clamping around his hand. 

Almost. 

Quickly, when he stops his movements on your core you nod fervently. “Yes! Yes, I am.” 

“Hmmm?” He tilts his head, looking down as he unbuttons your jeans and makes your breath hitch as dips a thick finger past your underwear, into you and immediately takes it up again to his lips to taste, smirking at your stupefied expression. Blood... he just... tasted... your... He does this every time you two engage in period sex, just to see this reaction from you but you never get used to it. How does he do it?? “What do you call me when I fuck you, Y/N?” 

You break yourself out of the moment, getting back to reality. “D-Daddy. Sorry. Sorry, Daddy... “

“That’s right, baby doll. I’m your Daddy, and you are... ?” 

“Your amenable, disgusting little whore.” You respond obediently, like a student... yeah. A student right out of a porn video. 

“Correct, now... Undo my pants now, wild cat. Somethings just begging for your aching, pretty cunt.” All too happy to do so, your hands dive down - well, not without feeling his chest up on your way down which is made so much easier as he’s just wearing a normal t-shirt instead of chest armour, - and wolfishly unzip and push down his trousers, revealing a fully, entirely enlarged and throbbing penis hidden behind worn cotton boxers. You chew on your lips as you go to pull down those, too, but Chevy chuckles and and gathers your eager hands in one his, reclaiming control that he never really lost. “Oh, not yet. I told you this was for me, didn't I?- “ 

“When are our carnal relations ever any different, Chev?” You ask, scrunching up your nose cheekily. Then, “Ah,”, remembering your place for the moment, you correct yourself carefully. But, you still smirk. “I mean... Daddy.” 

“Get on your knees and use your mouth. You are so good at that- your best quality, really.” 

Scrunching up your nose at his snark this time, scowling, you do as he says anyway hopping off the machine and coming face-to-dick. 

Because you are a whore. 

In this moment, at least. 

And, besides; You are really, really good at this. If you do say so yourself. if you do it just right, his animal instincts will completely take over and he’ll really use you. He steps closer, feet on either side of your thighs making you crane your neck to not be motorboating his freaken balls. Pulling down his boxers, finally completely exposing his, admittedly perfect - for you, - , genitalia and sigh as you get to wrap both your hands around the girth. Its so thick. God, you love it. 

I would love it a heck of a lot more if it was nailing me into the tiles right now instead of nearly poking my eye out... but there are ways we can make that happen. 

Moaning, like you’re taking the first bite of a really good sandwich you take as much of his hot, leaking cock between your lips and your hot mouth. Immediately one of his hands cups the back of your head and firmly pushes you further, the girth disappearing into you until hair tickles your nose. You can only imagine how you look... and it kind of turns you on even more. 

“You are the best cocksleeve, sweet’eart... “ He says, voice not betraying anything so far. You can change that. 

Utilising the tip of your tongue, you begin to stroke the the bottom, all along it to the tip and you suck - gently at first, - and slipping your lips along the shaft over and over, like you’re eating an icy poll. Its a slick, spit sheening mess by the time he’s literally spilling spurts of cum into your mouth and chin, which you wipe off. Not a full orgasm, but enough to grant you what you really want. And damn, is it hot. 

As you slip off of his head again, licking up the creamy substance from the very tip, guided back by his hands in your hair gently but authoritatively he lets out a loud growl at the pleasure you give him. “... Tell me, who’s your Daddy?” 

You just innocently lean forward and nuzzle his thighs in response, making him shudder and get down to the floor with you. Frustratedly, like this has to happen right fucking now, Chevy lays you on your back on the cold floor and straddles you after tugging down your pants and your underwear, and shoves himself fully in you all at once. 

Its an easy fit, spearing into your searing, red, mess of a hole like it can only be one time of the month and when you have sex with Chevy. He grunts, and starts absolutely thundering into you over and over, like you’re the best feeling cunt he’s every experienced. You believe it. And, because of the way he makes you feel with that gorgeous, stone-hard cock of his you hope it is really true.  

The sounds that it causes you to make are completely pornographic, and can absolutely be heard outside the room. The strength he uses to pound your dripping pussy both presses your bare ass into the cold tiles of the floor and pushes you up across the ground, and you whine. So hard... “Oh my god, oh my god!!” You cant help how your legs spread as wide as possible at the thighs but your ankles press tightly to his back. You arch your back to meet him, listening to the squish sounds that come out of you and his growly, fast breathing. “So good, Chevy!!” 

“What.” He says quickly, wrapping his hands around your waist to keep you still and not sliding up the floor- so his hits find their target every time with an agonising strength. Pounding your pussy in a way you wish wouldn't stop. 

Pushing his chest up so you can relocate, and get a different position, making him sit and you straddle his waist, hands up his shirt and fingers spreading across his hairy chest. “I meant Daddy.”

“Yes you fucking did.” 

He always gets so cranky when he’s close to blowing. 

Its not a bad thing, cranky is sexy on him- provided his penis is shoved inside you. 

Grinding in his lap now, you do much of the grunt work, until he cant take your torment this time and takes your waist in his hands again, lifting you and jamming you back down on his rod over and over again, until he explodes cum inside you. 

The outburst fills you up completely, the funk dripping out from between your walls and around his base, dripping on the floor pink from your period causing you to see stars come too, a moment later as he slams you down on his manhood once more. 

Catching your breathes, you two stay sitting there like that, letting your shared fluid ooze out of you from around him, until his cock softens totally in you. When that’s done, he lifts your body off his and sets you down on the ground away from the puddle you two made. Your legs feel shaky, your breath is hard to catch, and your pussy feels battered. 

This was a good session. 

Chevy seems to think so too, as he grins and picks you up again, sitting you sideways, carefully on lap. “Oh, did I do well, Daddy?” You blink innocently, happy to keep playing the game but tired. 

“Mhm. As always. You’ve got the perfect cunt, baby girl/boy.” 

You look up, waiting for a kiss. “Oh, hope so.” Your lips meet, finally, tongues playing together gentle. You exchange long, open mouthed kisses with each other for a while after your session, making out lazily and dining on each others tastes as desert. 

[vanaera]

Defining Epilogues (ksj)

Synopsis:  Seokjin thinks he could always see the end of something before it even comes. When an annoying girl starts to rent the weirdest books from his shop, all Seokjin could see is how she will be the one to end him.

Characters: Seokjin x Female Reader

Trope/Au: Book rental shop owner!ksj x animator/artist!you (onesided enemies to lovers)

Genre: Fluff, comedy that’s close to crack

Wordcount: 6.3k

Warnings: Books with weird titles and secondhand-embarrassment-inducing sfw sex jokes (PG-15 Rating)

A/N: Happy birthday to my best girl @sophrosinn!!!  This is my gift for you! This fic is done with the great help of the ever wonderful @senfleurs who edited this story and stayed with me for the past 24 hours while I cry, laugh, and panic writing this fic! This fic also ended up helping me ride out a massive writer’s block.

            If Seokjin ever prides himself for something, it’s on his ability to tell how things will end the moment he sees them. He can tell when someone is about to fail their exam. He can sense a fight within a crowd before it even happens. He can stand at the end of the street and know the woman with the umbrella is about to break up with her boyfriend. And it always ends with Seokjin being right.

          Seokjin’s thankful for this skill because he’s been able to learn when it’s the right time to pursue something or when it’s time to give up. If it weren’t for this ability, he would have not been able to accomplish his dream of having a book rental shop that actually sells. Seokjin just didn’t expect he would have to start thinking twice about this skill soon after his shop’s opening. All because of a Y/N L/N who appears in his life like a wild Pokemon.

          From the start, Seokjin was already certain of one thing: Y/N is far from his type. For one, he didn’t even like having her as a customer.

            “Hey, I think that girl’s been staring at our way for three hours now. Are you sure I’m not supposed to go help her out?”

            Seokjin turns around to face his assistant and he hates that he’s able to see that girl from his peripheral. Seokjin shakes his head and turns back to the new books he’s been putting on the database, “I’m sure, Jungkook. Go back to work.”

            “Are you really sure? I think she’s the type who’s too shy to ask for help and instead, hopes to send a telepathic message by burning holes on our heads.”

            “I’m sure, Jungkook,” Seokjin repeats with a sigh. “Now why don’t you try working on that next book instead of stalling?”

            “I’m not stalling—”

            “Hello. I want to borrow this book.”

            Seokjin looks up from his counter. The girl stands in front of him, staring straight into his eyes as she pushes the book his way.

          Natural bust enlargement with total mind power: How to use the other 90% of your mind to increase the size of your breasts by Donald Wilson.

            Seokjin looks back at his work and sighs, “Jungkook, get this.”

            Jungkook picks up the book. He must have been taken aback as he looks at Seokjin, confused.

          Seokjin closes his eyes and waves him off. “Don’t even ask. Just do the usual.”

            “Okay,” Jungkook says. “Uh, ma’am, please write your name here. Okay, so Ms. Y/N L/N, you’re gonna return this—wait, you’ve been borrowing this book for three weeks?

            “Yes. Why?”

            “U-um, n-nothing. Just curious. It only has 141 pages and you’re not, um, finished yet?”

            “Well, I want to learn more about how to mind control my breasts to make them bigger.”

            “Uhh…”

            “Alright,” Seokjin stands up and nudges Jungkook away. “Ms. Y/N L/N, you’ll need to return this book five days from now, on March 23rd.” Seokjin slams his date stamp on the paper. “If you fail to return this book on time, we’ll have to charge you $1 for every day past the due date. And if the copy gets destroyed or lost, we’ll also have to charge you. Understood?”

            “Yep.”

            “Now, that will be $17.”

            Y/N places the money on the counter and heads for the door. But she doesn’t leave without sending one last stare into Seokjin’s way.

            Seokjin plops back down on his seat and clicks his tongue. “She didn’t read the book again.”

            Jungkook rolls his chair next to him and asks “Aren’t you being judgmental? Maybe she’s just a slow reader.”

            “No, she does not read it. The author didn’t mean literal mind control as she said. The book is about conditioning your mindset to a more positive view of your body image.”

            Jungkook looks at him with his forehead scrunched, “Wait, you’ve read that book?”

            Seokjin’s lips turn into a frown and he rolls his chair away from his assistant. “Don’t even ask.”

            When Seokjin first met Y/N L/N, he was convinced that she’d be the type of customer he’d hate the most. The type that comes in, picks a book, stays for god knows long, and leaves without borrowing anything. She used to do this back when she first came to his shop within its first week of opening. She kept the tradition strong for a solid month, and Seokjin was convinced that some highschoolers noticed her behavior and attempted to use his shop as their new hangout spot. He’s glad his shop was getting packed as the days went on. It’s just a different story when a hoard of teens started flocking around his shop without renting anything and prevented actual renters from entering his shop. Seokjin had to put up “No loitering” and “Maximum of 3 hours stay” signs on his windows to end this money-ripping tactic once and for all. 

          That didn’t seem to stop Y/N, though, as she would still come to his shop to pick a book to read right in front of his face without ever renting it. This time, however, she made sure to follow the three hours maximum to avoid getting called out. This went on for another week until Seokjin decided he had to talk with her about this. That didn’t end as well as he had hoped, as Y/N just looked at him straight in the eye and left immediately after he got his last word out. 

          Seokjin remembers getting so embarrassed at how he unknowingly did a monologue to a single-person audience. He wasn’t left mulling over it for long as Y/N came back the next day and actually began to rent a book. She still stays the three hours max limit most of the days but she doesn’t let a week pass without renting a book. She also manages to lower her ‘miser’ type level to the ‘weird borrower’ level in Seokjin’s annoyance scale. Having a customer with a renting history surrounding the most ridiculous-sounding books is much better than having them rent none at all. 

          Albeit, that’s a bit of a stretch, too, as Seokjin finds out that Y/N’s not exactly the weird borrower type, but the weird borrower who comes again on time just to rent the same book for weeks. And she doesn’t even read them. Seokjin confirms it one night when Y/N came to his shop a minutes-breadth away from the closing time.

          “Wait!” Y/N screams, running towards the shop.

          Seokjin stops pulling down the metal gate to give her a glare, “I’m already closing, L/N. Come back tomorrow.”

          “But I have to borrow something!”

          “Oh no you don’t—”

          It’s too late though, as Y/N slips under Seokjin's elbow and pushes the unlocked glass door open.

          Hearing his bell on the counter ring for consecutive times from the incessant taps of the infamous L/N, Seokjin knows he’s already lost the fight. He sighs as he makes his way back to the counter.

          “What do you want?”

          “This,” Y/N smiles. 

          The Beginner’s Guide to Sex in the Afterlife by David Staume.

          Seokjin eyes her as he picks up the book, “This again? You’re still not done reading 164 pages after, what, two months?”

          Y/N gulps as she clasps her hands in front of her, “Well, um, I still don’t get how people engage in sexual intercourse in the afterlife.”

          Seokjin decides not to reply and continues to do his job.

          “If they believe in a god. Or gods. Wouldn’t they worry about their god seeing them do...lewd stuff?”

          Seokjin feels his right eye start to twitch.

          “Unless...their god is a sex god?”

          Seokjin closes the book louder than necessary. He pins Y/N with a glare. “Look, Y/N. This book is about sexual energy transcending material life and even moving to the astral world. Just like how people pass away. What made you think that this book was about literally having sex in the afterlife?”

          Y/N looks at him with wide eyes, “You read the book?”

          Seokjin scowls. “Don’t turn this on me. We’re talking about you. Why do you keep borrowing books you don’t even read?” 

          Y/N looks at him then back at her clasped hands. “You don’t have to know,” she mutters under her breath, taking Seokjin by shock when she slams the payment on the counter and leans over to stamp the renting slip with the due date herself.

          Seokjin tries to call after her retreating figure by the door. “Wait, I didn’t even tell you the—”

          “Yeah, $1 for each day after the due date and you’re gonna charge my card if I destroy the book,” Y/N yells over her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m gonna come back on time!”

          Seokjin pales in his seat. Her announcement sounded like a death sentence.

          He wishes he wasn’t so easily bothered at the slightest of things Y/N said. He wishes he didn’t spend too much time deciphering a way to stop her. Most of all, he wishes he didn’t become too intrigued by her to the point he’s started to care about what she’s actually doing.

          And Seokjin hates it. He hates how he stresses himself reading the books Y/N borrows. He hates how he wastes his time trying to re-arrange the books in the shelves just so Y/N would start picking books with titles that actually made sense (which he learned is futile as Y/N had a penchant for finding weird books around his shop whenever and wherever). And, Seokjin hates how he basically studied her long enough to memorize her pattern. Long enough to realize that underneath all that weird borrowing behavior, Y/N just comes to his shop to stare at him. Moreover, Seokjin hates how he confirmed it with a friend.

          “Y/N must be making you quite busy, no?” Jimin asks over a mug of coffee.

          “You know her?” Seokjin asks in disbelief.

          “Yeah,” Jimin nods, “I’m friends with her. I consulted their animation company for the ad I told you I was making for Books to Tell. She was the one who assisted me and we just clicked. Especially after I learned that she’s also friends with Namjoon.”

          Seokjin’s eyes go wide, “She’s also friends with Namjoon?!”

          “Yeah, they kinda knew each other in college. Why are you so shocked? You were in the same major as Namjoon. You could have seen her with him around uni.”

          “Uh, no, I didn’t.”

          Jimin rubs his chin and shrugs, “Well, it’s a small world then. So, how is she? I actually told her to go visit your shop when you first opened.”

          Seokjin chokes on his coffee and Jimin hurries to pat his back. “God, why are you like this today? Is something wrong—"

          “How come you’re just telling me all of this now?!” Seokjin cuts his friend with a glare, making Jimin jolt in surprise.

          “W-what? Was I supposed to tell you about this earlier?”

          “Yes! Y/N’s been annoying me for four months now!”

          “I…didn’t know about that,” Jimin steps back and sits in his chair. “I just told her to take a look at your shop and she said ‘okay.’ She didn’t say anything after that so I figured it left her mind. I didn’t know she was a regular in your shop. She just brought it up again yesterday when she told me how…” Jimin zips his lips and shrugs.

          “How what?”

          “...how she likes your face.”

          Seokjin chokes again. This time on his own spit. He should have seen this coming. He was long aware that some of his renters only went into his shop to get a look at his face. Even if he had to suffer through the tedious cycle of rejecting their queries for his number and offers of coffee, some of them ended up as his regulars. Seokjin didn’t mind. Money is money after all. He just didn’t expect Y/N to be like them after all the months he spent trying to decode her actual intentions.

          Seokjin tried to brush Y/N off just like he did with the previous renters. Although she hasn’t pulled off anything yet, Seokjin believes it’s better to set things straight before it happens. The sooner he ends this, the faster he’ll find his peace again.

          Seokjin hired his neighbor, Jungkook, who’s been bugging him for a part-time job for so long and made him his assistant. He entrusted him with entertaining the customers so Seokjin wouldn’t have to deal with Y/N bugging him anymore. And like always, that plan goes down the drain because Y/N always, always ends up in front of Seokjin even when he’s countlessly told her to go to Jungkook.

          Seokjin’s tired of stressing over her so he forces himself to ignore her and the ridiculous books she borrows. But even that proves to be hard when Y/N hasn’t even done anything untoward but to stare at him from time to time. And give him a headache with the books she borrows like The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America by Julian Montague, 50 Sad Chairs by Bill Keaggu, and Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich by James Yannes. For after all the progress he thought he’s put in, Seokjin still finds himself reading these books all because of a goddamn curiosity he couldn’t put down.

          It becomes harder when Namjoon and his friends pick up Seokjin’s weird setup with Y/N. And mutual friends being the annoying mutual friends they are, Namjoon and the gang begins to invite him and Y/N to hangout.

          “Why is she here?” Seokjin mutters to Namjoon the moment he sees their table.

          “Who?”

          “You know who.”

          “Oh, Y/N,” Namjoon prolongs the syllable as if her name is the most amazing thing ever. Seokjin grimaces. “Why? You got a problem with her?”

          “No,” Seokjin instantly denies. “I’m just asking why you invited her. It used to be just us for so long.”

          “Yeah, it’s always been just us that’s why it became boring.”

          “Boring?”

          “Yeah, I’m getting tired of your face,” Namjoon chuckles, stepping ahead of Seokjin. “Besides, what’s wrong with adding a new friend? Y/N is cool.”

          Oh hell yeah, Y/N is cool. She beams at Seokjin like she always does as if their legs weren’t just casually touching after their friends made it a point to choose a cramped barbecue restaurant and sit the two of them next to each other.

          “So Seokjin, I heard you and Y/N are getting close,” Namjoon starts and Hoseok hoots in support.

          Jimin, being as annoying as ever decides to ride in too. “Yeah, why don’t you tell us how you met.”

          “I was doing my business and Y/N just rented a book. That is all,” Seokjin says dismissively as he grabs his shot glass and downs the gin in one go.

          “Are you sure, that’s all, Seokjin?” Rose leans forward, grinning, “Maybe you’re hiding something from us.”

          “I’m not—”

          “He’s not hiding anything. That’s true.”

          The table pauses as all eyes dart to Y/N. A wave of self-consciousness washes over her and she directs her focus back on her clasped hands on the table, “S-Seokjin’s right. I just rent books from him.”

          Seokjin glances at Y/N then back at his drink. It’s the first time she actually addressed him that night after engaging animatedly with Namjoon, Jimin, and Rose for the past hour. The table nods slowly and Seokjin guesses they’re already about to drop the subject. Seokjin’s lips tug in a small smile. Maybe tonight’s not gonna go as bad as he initially thought.

          However, Jungkook,  being the ever-living oblivious fuck that he, must’ve not gotten the memo, decides to stir up the subject again.

          “No, I don’t think so. Seokjin and Y/N do have something going on. I catch Y/N constantly looking his way and Seokjin for some reason, knows every single weird-ass book Y/N borrows.”

          Seokjin’s lips part in shock. Jeon Jungkook did not just give him away like that. “Of course, I’ll know those books. I bought them to rent them to people. That’s my business!”

          Jungkook blinks. “But you know every single detail about them.”

          The table goes silent. It doesn’t last very long, though, as Rose and Jimin break into simultaneous laughter while Namjoon repeatedly slaps his thigh. Hoseok shoots, “Oh my god, you must’ve kept on buying books with weird titles just to keep Y/N borrowing!”

          “What? I did not!” Seokjin yells but his voice is lost in the sea of laughter and teasing. Seeing as there’s no hope in making his friends stop anytime soon, Seokjin decides to lean on his seat and cross his arms in silence. His friends are going to jump onto another topic eventually. Looking at his empty plate, his eyes glance at the person who’s equally quiet next to him.

          Y/N is busy fiddling with the seams of her jacket. She looks up from time to time to their friends to wave off their playful jibes at her with a laugh.

          Seokjin feels an annoyance prick on his skin. His friends invited him over just to tease him. Seokjin is sure it’s only him because he’s the only one who’s gotten frustrated over this debacle while Y/N sits chill beside him. Y/N doesn’t even break a sweat laughing with the others as if she hasn’t been bothering him for months now. Seokjin swears he’s gonna decline the next time his friends invite him again. Or at least try to, because he’s gullible to their promises of “Hey, they’re giving out free drinks. Free is free!”

          It’s the same as that one fateful night.

            Seokjin stops in his tracks and grabs Hoseok by the shoulder. “Why is she here again?”

            “Who?”

            “Y/N.”

            Hoseok raises a brow, “Why do you keep asking this question when you already know the answer?”

            “I don’t,” Seokjin shakes his head. “I don’t know why you keep inviting her whenever I decide to join you guys.”

            “Oh, don’t be such a grump. Y/N’s our friend, too.”

          Feeling Seokjin still in his spot, Hoseok turns around and sighs, “Hey, we only see each other ‘bout twice a month, you know. Let’s have some fun, okay?”

          Seokjin should have known Hoseok’s definition of ‘fun’ is far from his as he sits across Y/N in the restaurant. All their friends out of sight.

          Hoseok started a game after dinner where everyone had to draw a piece of paper from the cup being passed around. The partners would then have to leave together in a form of a friendly date. It’s similar to seven minutes in heaven but messed up because instead of seven minutes together, they had to spend the rest of the night with the person they’ll end up picking.

          Seokjin should have known that this was all planned when Namjoon oh so coincidentally pulled Rose, who everyone knows he’s been secretly crushing on. Meanwhile, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook obviously ended up drawing each other’s name just to purposely get Namjoon and Rose together. And well…him and Y/N together. Seokjin sighs as he stands up. He just had to get this done and over as quickly as he possibly could.

          “Look, Y/N—”

          “I know a good place near here.”

          Seokjin halts. He looks at the girl who’s already looking up at him with wide eyes. "There's a cafe down the block and I heard it's really nice."

          "Uhh, that sounds amazing. I guess. Look, Y/N-"

          "They let you play with board games and borrow books, too."

          Seokjin scratches his head, "Uhh, I don't know about that, Y/N. I haven't had the time to check them out yet...I mean...if those cafes are good...or bad," Seokjin internally cringes at his words. Making believable excuses was never really his forte.

          "Oh, it's good!" Y/N smiles, “I’ve tried it before and I had a really good time."

          "Uhh-"

          "It's really good. You can trust me on this.”

          “No, I can’t,” Seokjin says before he could think about it and he immediately feels the guilt pang in his heart when he sees Y/N’s eyes drop to her feet

          “That’s…okay. I'm sorry. I just wanted to make up for the days, and uh, nights I probably made you uncomfortable. I thought, maybe you'd enjoy having a few drinks at the cafe since I always see you with a to-go cup on your counter."

          Seokjin looks at her with surprise written on his face and Y/N flushes. "Sorry. I tend to observe... stuff. I’m sorry," she repeats again, voice dripping with remorse.

          Seokjin bites his lip. He didn’t mean to make her sad. He just wants to…run away from her. The reason? Well…Seokjin doesn’t exactly know why. Maybe it had to do with the feeling that nagged at him since the night started. The feeling that something may happen tonight that he wouldn’t like. He tends to prioritize his disposition because more often than not, his gut feeling has saved him countless times from unnecessary drama and unpleasantries. But for tonight, Seokjin decides to shake them off. It wouldn’t hurt to take up Y/N’s offer, right? It’s just some coffee.

             “Okay. Um, I forgive you.”

             “You do?” Y/N perks up, lips curving up again.

             Seokjin looks away, “Yeah. I think I’m being difficult, too. I’m sorry if I also made you uncomfortable.”

             Y/N waves her hands, “Oh no, don’t apologize. You don’t make me uncomfortable. Far from it, actually.”

             Seokjin doesn’t know what to say to that so he clears his throat, “Okay, so...let’s go to the cafe?”

             “Sure,” Y/N grins.

             It feels weird to walk side by side with Y/N when he’s gotten used to having a counter between them. It’s even weirder that he actually enjoyed their time together inside the cafe. The cakes were delicious, the coffee was amazing, and the books and board games were a wonderful addition. Seokjin didn’t know he'd actually have fun playing scrabble against Y/N.

             “I can’t believe I lost again!”

             Seokjin chuckles at her, “That’s because you kept using short words.”

             Well, it really is fun when he’s winning.

             Y/N pushes the game to the side, “I don’t want to play scrabble anymore.”

             “That’s okay,” Seokjin chuckles, “I can find another game I’m sure to win again.”

             The two of them fall in a comfortable silence. It’s the first time Seokjin felt this way around Y/N. For all the months she came to his shop, he did nothing but be forever on his toes around her.

             “You know...I really like your face.”

             Or maybe not. Seokjin tenses up in his seat.

             Y/N puts her hands up, “Oh, I didn’t mean it like, in a bad way. I mean, I like your face. It’s so...expressive.”

             Seokjin looks at her, confused. Expressive?

             “You’ve asked me before about why I keep on borrowing books I don’t even read and I told you that you didn’t have to know. It seems right to tell you the reason behind it now..” Y/N fiddles with her hands, “Since you’re now paying attention to me.”

             Seokjin knows this isn’t true but he doesn’t say anything.

             “You see...I’ve been fumbling around my work for so long. Well, it’s more like a personal project for now. I’ve been meaning to pitch in the idea of a lighthearted romcom series to my department. I just wanted to have a solid draft first so I could at least let them see my vision. I’m pretty bad with words. I need things to be spelled out completely and I don’t think I can do it with this one so I will have to get the drawings complete instead,” Y/N scratches her head. “I want this pitch to have a solid chance. I’ve been working on it for almost three years now. I just can’t seem to finish it because I didn’t know what to do with my lead male. Until I heard about you from Jimin.”

             “Me?” Seokjin points to himself.

             “Yeah. You have this look in your face that just exudes…greatness. It’s like you’re telling me...‘I’m a star.’”

             “Huh?”

             “What I mean is, your expressions are perfect for a leading guy!” Y/N squeals, “Oh my god, I just found the right words.”

             Seokjin laughs nervously, “Y/N, just so you know, you’re not making any sense right now.”

             Y/N cautiously fixes herself again, “Uh, what I’m trying to say is, you have this aesthetic around you that’s just perfect for the male lead I am envisioning. It’s easy for you to make various expressions that stretch from annoyance to glee and beyond. I’m really surprised at how well you could do that. If you think about it, you can be an actor if you’d like. You’re even handsome.”

             Seokjin flushes at the sudden compliment.

             Y/N continues, “And that’s that. You became my muse and I kept visiting for inspiration because I obviously couldn’t take pictures without your permission. That’s illegal.”

             Seokjin should be appalled. He’s never met a person before who said such...things aloud in the open as if they’re just talking about the weather. But here he is, looking at Y/N, and feeling at peace. Maybe it had to do with him finally getting the answers he’s been looking for for months.

             “Well, you should have just told me from the start. I wouldn’t have been...too weirded out by you.”

             “Yeah, I’m sorry. My bad,” Y/N softly laughs.

             “I thought you’re purposely messing with me with the way you pick the weirdest titles from my shop.”

             Y/N awkwardly shrugs, “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.”

             Seokjin chuckles but halts. Why does Y/N bother to pick the weirdest titles when she can just pick from the hundreds of normal-looking books he has? She won’t even read them anyway.

             Seokjin clears his throat, “Um, Y/N, why do you always borrow the weird-looking titles?”

             Y/N’s eyes grow wide. She darts her eyes at her lap, “Uhh, I just, uh, do.”

             Seokjin isn’t convinced. No one spends time finding the weirdest of books in a shop ‘just because they do.’ Seokjin feels the familiar itch of his curiosity. He needs to know why. Only then will he probably stop finding a pattern in the ridiculous-titled books Y/N borrows.

             “Okay, you can keep doing your...inspiration thing.”

             “What?”

             “I’m not angry about what you said. You don’t have to worry. Everyone has their own inspiration. You can keep coming to my shop. After all, you’re my regular renter.”

             Y/N’s smile immediately grows into a grin, “Okay. Thank you, Seokjin.”

             Seokjin feels his chest lighten with satisfaction. But at the same time, he can’t deny the feeling that he’s probably signed himself up to something he’s unprepared for. He presses his lips together. His gut feeling was right. He doesn’t like this night.

          Seokjin confirms this when tomorrow comes as well as the following days. Y/N comes in like usual in the afternoon, maxes her three hours, and finds a book with a weird title to rent. Nothing had changed much except now, Seokjin had to see her stare at him openly and not behind a book, as she intermittently looked towards his counter then back to her sketchpad. He regrets having ever welcomed Y/N because now he thinks he’s the one who’s weird for feeling his heart pound in delight whenever Y/N looks at him.

          Seokjin hates what he’s become. He hates how he simultaneously dislikes and likes Y/N’s presence in his shop. He likes how Y/N has begun using her three hours to tell him another story from work. He likes how she makes him laugh even when her jokes don’t make any sense. He likes how easy it is for him to tell her his own stories—his dreams, his fears, his past relationships. He could even say the most ridiculous musings he ever had without feeling ashamed of it because Y/N understands. But at the same time, he can’t help but dislike how he’s started to constantly wait for her return in his shop. He hates how he instantly feels so down when he realizes Y/N won’t be able to make it to his shop. He dislikes how he finds himself oversharing stuff without feeling any guilt when all his life, he made it sure not to say to let people know too much. The more they know, the easier it is for them to inflict hurt. Because they know what part is gonna hurt the most. And so, Seokjin tells Y/N everything other than the things he feels about her. The things he really wishes to say.

          All his life, Seokjin has always anticipated seeing how things will end up. Because he knows he’s right. And he always almost is. He knows that this relationship he has with Y/N is purely transactional. Y/N just kept coming because she needs someone who’ll give her inspiration. Seokjin knows if he ever lets his feelings out, he’ll only end up breaking his own heart. He knows how this will end and yet he can’t but wish he isn’t always right. Now, he sits fearfully in anticipation of the day Y/N stops her visits as soon as she finishes what she started coming to his shop for.

          Turns out, Seokjin didn’t have to wait very long. Because on one Thursday morning, he finds a copy of Y/N's final draft on his counter and no presence of the girl. Y/N doesn't appear during the following week. Or the week after that.

          "What do I do?" Seokjin mumbles. He covers his face with his hands as he slumps on Jimin’s dining table. The rain thundering outside fits his current mood so well. Seokjin hates it.

          "Well, you shouldn't have been so hostile to her from the start," Jimin says with crossed arms.

          "Don't you think I already know that? I've already played through all the different things that could’ve happened if I didn't pick on her borrowing habit."

          "It's not that," Namjoon says. "We meant how you usually react when we invite her over to our hangouts."

          "Yeah, you always look so stiff next to Y/N even after we set you guys up on a date," Jungkook remarks. "Anyone would have looked at you and would’ve commented on how uncomfortable you looked right next to her."

          It's true. He felt uncomfortable whenever he sat beside Y/N. In his defense, it no longer felt like the uncomfort he felt when they had first met. This feeling of uncomfort felt different, it’s brought by the heat that fills his body when Y/N's leg brushes against his.

          And it didn't help that earlier that day, Y/N pulled quite a stunt on him.

          "Hey, you have something on your hair," Y/N points at his head. But before he could pick it up on his own, Y/N had already leaned over the counter and picked it away for him. She came so close that Seokjin could clearly see how long her lashes actually were and how pink and soft her lips looked. He feels his Adam's apple bob up and down.

          "There," she smiles, "All handsome again."

          Seokjin feels heat rush to his ears as he looks away.

          Seokjin looks at Jungkook, “Well, I can’t control how I feel. You know how bad I act when I’m not okay.”

          “So you’re not okay being by her side in public but you’re okay when you guys are alone?” Jungkook eyes him, “Don’t you dare deny it because I saw you guys getting chummy across the counter.

          Seokjin gulps. He knows what Jungkook is talking about. He didn’t know where and when but somewhere along the way, he and Y/N started to blur any nuance of personal space around each other. He just found it natural to tuck her hair behind her ear when it falls on her face as she draws. He found it natural to let his fingers brush on Y/N’s own as he grabs a book from the upper shelf for her.

          “You must have been watching too many romantic movies.”

          “Why?”

          “You’re really acting like a main lead now. You’re making me feel as if I’m the female lead.”

          Seokjin freezes and tears his eyes away from Y/N. He pulls the book and unceremoniously pushes it to her. “Here’s your book,” he mutters before walking back to his counter.

          “Hey, don’t just leave me here!”

          And Seokjin found it natural to let his actions do the talking for him instead.

          “Do you trust me?” Y/N asks as she looks up at him. “I already made you look good on paper. What more if we go to this amusement park together?”

          “I don’t trust you,” Seokjin says but his hand grips on hers tighter. 

          “Of course, I’d feel better when we’re alone,” Seokjin grunts as he grabs his coffee, “Who would want to see two people touching each other in public? Not to say people who engage in PDA too many times will eventually break up since the pressure from the public-”

          “We’re not telling you to engage in PDA,” Namjoon cuts him. “What we’re trying to say is that, why do you refuse to act on your feelings?

          “Yeah,” Jimin seconds, “It’s obvious that you like her. You wouldn’t keep on buying weird books and reading what Y/N borrows just to check if Y/N will indeed read it. You wouldn’t keep asking me if she’s alright at work whenever she doesn’t show up or leave you any messages under the pretense of ‘ensuring she wouldn’t come to your shop to disturb you’. You keep asking me because you’re worried about her. You keep buying her weird books because you’re happy seeing her smile happily about them. You keep welcoming Y/N into the shop even when you hate getting distracted because you like her!. It’s so obvious! Why can’t you say it?!”

          “Because I know how this thing between us will end. What we have is purely temporary. Y/N came in to find a muse and that’s that. She comes to my rental shop just to finish her project. Y/N never intended to stay long, and I made sure she didn’t. I knew she was leaving the moment she finished. If I said I liked her then, it would’ve only made us awkward and I would’ve ended up absolutely miserable.”

          “Well, she already did leave,” Namjoon deadpans. 

          “And you didn’t say anything but you’re still miserable,” Jungkook says.

          Seokjin closes his eyes and nods. He’s fully aware that Y/N is gone, but it’s not like he can act like nothing happened. It was his fault, after all. “Yeah, I know now. I’m stupid. I’ll just have to deal with it on my own and move on.”

          “You don’t have to deal with it on your own.”

          Seokjin jolts at the familiar voice. He turns around and finds the very person he’s been missing for weeks. Y/N. With the deep bags under her eyes and her hair all mussed up, she looks far from Seokjin’s type. But she’s still the most beautiful person he’s ever seen in his life. 

          “Okay, I guess this is our cue to go.”

          Seokjin whips his head to Jimin, his eyes wide, “You planned this?”

          “Obviously. It looks like you still needed a little push after the last stunt we pulled. Jungkook, stand up from your goddamn seat.”

          Y/N stays in her spot until their three friends leave them alone. Seokjin looks at his feet as shame and self-consciousness mingle in an unsettling mix in his stomach. Y/N is here and he must look like the stupidest idiot in the world right now.

          “Did you mean it when you said you liked me?

          “Yes,” Seokjin sighs.

          “Then why didn’t you say so from the start?” Y/N says in a soft voice. “You kept blocking my advances. I was trying to let you know that I liked you, too.”

          “You like me, too?” Seokjin asks, shocked and confused.

          “Of course! Did you really think I just picked weird books out for fun? Okay, I did have a lot of fun picking them — but the point is, I did all of them to get your attention!!! For god’s sake, did you think I sat through your lecture on divine afterlife intercourse “just because”? No!! Okay,” Y/N closes her eyes, I first went to your shop for inspiration. But that all changes when I started liking you. You’re just so hardworking and smart and even if you’re grumpy on bad days, you actually care so much. I just want to stand out at least a bit so you could see me, too. And just when I thought I had finally succeeded when you agreed to let me draw your face, you started giving me mixed signals. You’d come near me and touch my hand and would let it go right when I started to talk about it. You’d act so affectionate then say the exact opposite. Do you know how bad it hurts when I ask you if you’d trust me—even when I sound like I’m joking—and all you’d ever answer is ‘no’?”

          “I thought...you already knew the answer.”

          “No, I don’t, Seokjin. I told you I’m bad with words. I need things to be spelled out. I-”

          “Y/N, I trust you. I thought you figured it out already when I told you everything about my life.” Seokjin looks at his hand, “But it turns out it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry we had to take the long route like this because I couldn’t say what I really wanted.

          “And what is it?”

          “You.”

          Y/N flushes at his sudden confession. The surprise in her eyes morphs into a satisfied glint as Y/N’s lips curve into a soft smile. “It’s okay. You have me now,” She steps into his arms and Seokjin immediately engulfs her in his embrace. For the very first time in his life, he doesn’t anticipate anything. His mind doesn’t conjure any endings. All he could think of is how he wants to prolong this moment as much as he can. Seokjin smiles into her neck as he tightens her hold on her. This must be what it feels like to be finally at peace.

          “So you like me now, huh?” he feels Y/N murmur at his chest.

          “Yeah.”

          “And you trust me now?”

          “2000%” Seokjin grins.

          “Good. I’ve been wanting to try out something that I read.”

          “Oh, so you’ve finally read something,” Seokjin chuckles by her ear.

          Y/N giggles, “Yeah. I wanted to do it right this time for this book.”

          “What book?”

          “Edward Jaye’s The Cookie Sutra.”

          “What?”

          “Cookies and Kama Sutra.”

A/N pt. 2: Hello my dear @sophrosinn. Happy birthday! First of all, I love you. I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH. AND MY LOVE FOR YOU CANNOT BE CAPTURED ENOUGH BY THESE WORDS. You’ve been with me for four years of my life and I couldn’t believe it’s just four years when it feels like I’ve been living my whole life with you. Yeah, you made a super large mark in my life and I couldn’t imagine what my life would have been if I didn’t meet you. You’ve helped me out in so many difficult times of my life. Through all the shits and slumps I had in school, in my family, and in my writing journey, you’ve stayed with me throughout all of those things. Gave me the advices I needed to hear. You’re still here, helping me heal from the pain I’ve suffered and still suffering. You’ve always been a rock of support in my life, @sophrosinn, and I wouldn’t have come this far if it weren’t you. When I look at you, I still wonder how life managed to let me meet such an astoundingly wonderful person like you are. These days have been tough but I hope you know you don’t have to suffer through it alone. I and @senfleurs will always be here to hear you rant, listen to your basog moments, and help you lighten your load as much as we can. Whenever life brings you down, I hope you always remember I will be here for you to give you an ear that will listen to you, to give you a shoulder you could cry on. I want to also be your rock of support you could always go to without hesitation just like you’ve always been for me. So Happy happy birthday my dear best girl! You have gotten a year older today but don’t worry, you’re not gonna be alone. I and @senfleurs will be by your side as we grow old with you! Here’s to more amazing years! I love you!

P.S. Yes, this fic is inspired by this reddit post you sent to us.

I just changed it up a bit bc my mind went blank when I first drafted the “we’re married” concept. Hope you like it, anyway! I tried writing both your serious and quirky sides through Seokjin and the OC!

P.P.S. I’m sorry I couldn’t get this fic out much earlier. My writing slump is still as bad as it can be but oof, I managed to get it out just before August 11 ends! I hope the wordcount and the feels and laughs make up for that   > u <

All Rights Reserved © Vanaera. Reposts, modifications, and translations of content are not allowed without direct permission

[meloingly]

Through Rivers of Family Blood

Have Me, Have You, Have Us

Summary:  Carlos slings his bag over his shoulder, sighing as he barely resists slamming the car door and jogging up the short stairs to the gym. It's his day off, and even though he's meeting with TK later on and that should have him in a good mood, he’s on edge, tethering the line to downright pain and anger, so he figured he could relearn whatever skills he might have forgotten over the past few years while punching his frustrations out rather than stew in his resentment.

Carlos can’t stop the booming laugh he lets out as he stands up, as Marjan drags him to his own car. She will never replace Dora - no one will ever be able to - but Carlos is starting to think that maybe he’s earned himself a younger sister, even though Marjan claims otherwise.

-Chapter Two of Have Me, Have You, Have Us.

Tags: Carlos Reyes, TK Strand, Paul Strickland, Marjan Marwani, Mateo Chavez, Judd Ryder, Owen Strand, Michelle Blake, Original Female Character, Original Male Character, Developing Friendship.

Warnings: Light emotional angst.

Beta: The owner of my soul @lire-casander. There’s literally no words to explain how much help this woman has been. She’s sat through me screaming cause of lack of inspiration, she’s been a sounding board as I threw messes of ideas at her, and then somehow made sense of all of them. This would not have been done without her, and I’m forever grateful.

Chapter 1

Read on AO3.

---

Chapter 2: Marjan: Through Rivers of Family Blood.

Carlos slings his bag over his shoulder, sighing as he barely resists slamming the car door and jogging up the short stairs to the gym. It's his day off, and even though he's meeting with TK later on and that should have him in a good mood, he’s on edge, tethering the line to downright pain and anger, so he figured he could relearn whatever skills he might have forgotten over the past few years while punching his frustrations out rather than stew in his resentment.

His sister hasn’t been approved for time off. And neither has he. Which means they’re going to enter their third year of not meeting face-to-face. And he’s much more discouraged by it than he thought he could ever be. It hurts even more that they were going to go on a weekend vacation together - Dora was finally meeting TK in person - and the image of waking up to the two most important people talking and laughing together takes a step back, resigning to be unfulfilled in a yet again unknown timeline.

So he marches in and stands in line to the counter, getting the formalities over as fast as possible. He was hoping he could catch a quick run on a treadmill before the kickboxing class that he’s here for, but he’s barely fifteen minutes early, and he knows that’s not enough time - it still doesn’t stop him from longing for the burn that would spread across his thighs as he pushes himself harder than he should.

As he hands his membership card and is given the sign-in paper, somehow, even through the blurriness that's clogging up his mind right now, he notices 'Marjan Marwani' two rows over his own name.

A slight frown takes over his features before it clears up quickly. He remembers Marjan and Paul mentioning that they workout together. He just didn't think that he'd meet someone he knows his first day in a new gym.

He just about hands the paper board back when he feels a pat over his arm. He turns around to none other than a smirking Marjan.

"Here to show off your muscles to TK?"

Like a magic spell, Carlos laughs - for the first time today - Marjan bringing a quick lightness to his world. He shakes his head and follows Marjan when she motions towards the locker area with a flick of her head.

"Hello to you too, I'm very well, thank you very much for asking," he says, which Marjan rolls her eyes at, but he pays her no mind, and keeps going, "How's yourself I wonder? I hope all is well?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay, Mr. Polite Texan Gentleman."

It's Carlos' turn to groan now. The crew saw him open the car door for TK once, and, apparently, the nickname has become a thing.

"Just wanted to kill a little time since I have nothing else to do,” he chooses to ignore her and explain instead, continuing when she raises an eyebrow at him. “Captain Strand has a hospital appointment today, so TK's over there with him," he elaborates.

Marjan lets out a sympathetic hum, frowning as she undoubtedly racks her mind for any mention of this session. He knows she won't find it. He confirms that no one knows about it when she asks.

"Damned Strands and their need to internalise everything," she huffs. And Carlos can't help but snort in agreement, even if he thinks he’s somewhat a hypocrite at this specific moment.

"I'd much rather punch the frustration out," she continues, and that is something Carlos finds himself agreeing with yet again.

"Which class are you taking?"

"Kickboxing," Marjan says, pulling up her arms in a classic defensive stance. “Started when I still was in Miami, and moved to this location since I moved here.”

"Oh, it’s my first class today!" he exclaims as he raises a fist to bump it to hers.

He hasn’t kickboxed in years, and he’s never been to this specific gym. He’s always been highly sceptical of it as a whole; it’s a famous chain with branches all over the country, and this specific branch is giant. Carlos would pass by it and wonder why it’s so large, why it takes up so much space. Knowing that Marjan has been a regular attendant brings a sense of relief. The fact that the recommendation came from his sister - she goes to the same gym in New Jersey - meant that he’d at least give it a try before deciding anything against it.

They fall into an easy silence as they walk to the locker areas, branching off to different sides when Marjan enters the Female-Only section of the lockers with a promise to meet him outside once she’s changed.

He hurries to the lockers, following the numbers until he gets to his assigned compartment for the day. He had caught a shower at home right before he left, so all he has to do now is change from his casual sweatpants and t-shirt into his workout gear. Which means that he barely needs five minutes before he’s leaving the locker room to find a seat in the lounge area.

Except that he must have miscalculated the time, because the moment he sets foot into the lounge area, the speakers come to life, announcing the end of the current classes and asking all attendants of the next class to make their way towards their designated halls.

So Carlos turns himself right back around, looking around the open hall for a moment trying to find the room that he’s supposed to go to before he finds the needed label and arrow, and follows them down a long hall.

He ends in a large hall, the entire front wall lined by mirrors, and what looks like an audio station shelf in one corner, a couple of headsets hanging from the corner. There are long benches that surround both sides and tables at the very end of said benches, water bottles and towels laid down across the top. The entire floor is lined with foam flooring, tape lines stretched across, marking squares where everyone has gone to stand. There are multiple sizes of punching bags both sitting on the floor and hanging from the ceiling.

Carlos can’t help the shocked expression he knows he must be making. He didn’t expect the gym to be as well furnished as it is. Especially not with the number of classes that they offer. And yet, as he stands in what is the best kickboxing hall he has ever set foot in, he can’t help but think that he might have found his new favourite gym.

He makes his way to an empty square, placing his water bottle on the ground at the edge of his border before standing in the middle. He starts cracking his joints, turning his neck both ways and folding his fingers in to get into the mindset for what he’s about to do.

Carlos would never call himself out of shape, but he is aware that he has lost much of his kickboxing abilities throughout the years. It started as a way to destress when he was a teenager, a safe and useful mechanism that helped him relieve his frustrations while keeping him healthy. As he grew older, it stopped being a coping mechanism and swung to being a sport. Unfortunately, once he graduated from the Academy and was a full-fledged officer at APD, free days came by less and less, forcing him to eventually give up the sport altogether.

So, when Dora informed him of this new program that had multiple classes throughout the week and the ability for its attendees to catch any of the week’s scheduled classes as long as they book a minimum of twenty-four-hours earlier, he knew it was a chance he couldn’t miss up.

Still, a breath of relief filled his chest at the sight of Marjan coming to stand next to him. He throws a grateful smile her way, and she responds with a low chuckle and a shake of her head. He's about to retaliate in a way, maybe take a page out of TK's book and stick his tongue out at her, when the coaches at the front of the room call the class to attention.

With a final shared grin, they both look ahead, listening as they explain the goal of the class and the plan of the day and the upcoming six weeks.

Marjan was not supposed to kick his ass the way she did.

It's not that he doesn't think she's fit or strong; she's a firefighter - and an adrenaline junkie - so he knows she's on top of her physical health.

It's just that Carlos thought that he was on top of his own physical health. And it turned out that he was wrong. So very wrong.

He noticed that while Marjan was walking with a spring in her step, arms swinging wide around her, he was limping out, holding his shoulder close to his torso after a particularly rough tackle that he didn't defend well enough.

Even now, after he's gotten a quick shower and is getting dressed in the locker room, he's starting to see bruises flourish and darken his skin, each one a testament to something he didn't do right.

Some part of him blames it on his distraction. He wasn’t exactly focused on following the tiniest of details, and maybe he wanted to get bruised and beat up a little. He hasn’t used working out as a way to disguise his emotional distress in quite a few years. And yet, as he pokes one particularly visible bruise, the blood starting to pool in distinct dark discolouration spreading across the lower edge of his ribs, he can’t help but think that his distraction wasn’t at fault here, and he’s just fallen back into older less-than-ideal coping mechanisms.

With a groan, he finishes dressing up, grabs his bag and makes his way towards the front desk.

Once he has given the locker keys back and received his membership card in return, he's out of the door. He finds himself stopping right in the middle of the parking lot, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. It doesn't fill him up like a breath of fresh air should - not that a parking lot has fresh air to begin with. But while he was expecting some relief, he finds that gets none. His shoulders are still tense, his mood still sour.

Letting out a small sigh and making a quick split second decision, he starts moving to the juice bar at the corner of the street, determined to grab a juice to go and wallow in his misery at home.

It’s a small shack right around the edge of the street that has made a magnificent business out of selling a variety of coffees, juices and post-workout drinks. The place is so tiny, it barely houses any sitting arrangement indoors, which works wonderfully when most of their regulars take their drinks to go anyway. Those who do want to sit for a moment though will find a rather large spread of benches on the terrace. It’s one of Carlos’ favourite places. The fact that it's locally owned makes it all the better.

It's on the terrace that he notices - while waiting for his drink to be prepared - a turban in the very far end of the outdoor sitting area. Immediately, he realises that he knows that turban. He knows the style and colour. Simply because he was just with Marjan. And now she's here, sitting alone, on a bench, staring at the small expanse of greenery and the parking lot ahead of her. His trance is broken when his name is called. Picking up the drink, he looks over and starts to make his way towards his car, only to stop a few steps later.

A frown starts to deepen on his forehead the more he stares at her. All the times he's met her, Marjan has always been a bright entity. Always smiling, eyes glittering with happiness and mischief. And yet as he looks at her now he finds that she seems… dull.

The worry has him abandoning his initial plan and moving towards her instead. He might be in a sad mood, but he'll be damned if that stops him from acting on his concern.

"Got space for one more person?" he asks once he's next to her. His suspicions that her mind is occupied elsewhere are confirmed when she looks up at him with wide, startled eyes. A few moments later - once she realises who is talking to her - she graces him with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes and a nod of her head.

Still, he takes the permission and plants himself next to her, drink in his hand.

The initial silence is comfortable, aided by the cooling effect that the juice had on his throat and the light breeze on his bruised body. And yet, it's heavy. Marjan is one of the firefighters he hasn't gotten many one-on-one interactions with. She’s a major part of their hangouts, and while they are friendly with one another, he hasn’t had the chance to know her better.

He's standing on uneven and unknown grounds with her. He wants to talk to her, ask if he can help. He just doesn't know how to. But the longer he takes to come up with something, the more awkward the air around them becomes, and the harder it is to speak.

So they sit in silence instead, while Carlos still tries to think of something. How it’s possible that there isn’t a single topic popping in his mind comes as a shock to him.

The silence seems to be choking Marjan as well, because she groans and drops her head into her hands. Carlos looks at her for a moment, before he slides a foot or so across the bench, inching closer to the seemingly troubled woman next to him.

"You okay?" he whispers, hands playing with the straw of his drink. Marjan sighs, so he turns his head to look at her.

She doesn’t look at him. Her head is angled upwards, eyes closed as the wind gently blows on their faces.

"You know, usually I’d talk to Paul, Mateo, or TK,” she whispers so low that Carlos has to lean towards her a little, “hell, maybe even Judd. But they’re just, they mean well. But they also feel the need to give advice and help out. And sometimes, I just want to rant about stuff and listen to them rant. And at the end of the talk, I want to not have a solution for anything."

Carlos hums, pondering over her words for a moment. He knows that the 126 have gotten close - they've been through the wringer one too many times not to be. He's also been in the position where he was the one being given advice. Even when it wasn't solicited.

He knows it's out of good intentions, they want to help, and advice is a way to do that. But so is just listening.

"Well," Carlos starts, placing his drink down on the bench next to him, "I'm here to silently listen if you want."

Marjan flats him with a raised eyebrow, the questioning challenge clear in her eyes. When Carlos doesn't budge, she looks away with a sigh.

"It's a two-way street, man. If I rant, you'll have to rant about whatever put that frown on your face too," she says as she leans back on the bench, stretching her legs ahead of her.

Carlos shoots her a shocked look, not aware that his own bitter feelings had been so clear to an outsider. Marjan seems to read his shock too though, "I could see you brooding from a whole mile away, Carlos," she explains with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah, let's mend one sad soul at a time," he shrugs at her, waving her worries with a flick of his hands.

Marjan glares at him for a moment. But he’s been around her enough to know that this isn’t one of her judgemental or annoyed glares, this is more of a playful and teasing glare. He replies to it with a wide grin, and she reciprocates with a shake of her head and a soft smile.

“I miss my family,” she says after a sigh, all pretences of strength draining out of her. “I just, every time I think things are good and I start to savour life, something happens with them while I’m here and I start to think I let you down, mama and baba, and I just, I miss them.”

Carlos nods his head in understanding, the feeling somewhat familiar to him. But he doesn't speak, he lets Marjan rant, the way she seems to truly need.

“Like, my parents did raise us to go all out and be independent and live our lives for us,” she says as she gestures ahead of her. “But I guess I also just always thought I’d have them with me while I live life. And now I’m here and I’m on the move, and they’re not, they’re sitting at home catching up on their rest and their health.”

Carlos stays in his place, listening intently to each phrase Marjan is saying. Her words all run across scars he's had to deal with in the past, and they make him yearn for a time when he had his entire family under one roof.

“Did you know that my dad has been diabetic, on insulin, for a year and I had no idea?!” she exclaims, waving her hands around her head. “None at all! I don’t even think he was ever planning to tell me. I just happened to Facetime my mom one day just as he was giving himself an injection in the background.”

She pauses for a moment, dropping her head to rest her chin onto her chest, and Carlos thinks she might have gotten everything off her chest. But he’s proven wrong moments later when she lifts her head.

"And it's not just my parents. My younger sister, Yara, the fifteen-year-old one, she has grown so much during the past year I've been here. And I've missed a lot of what makes her who she is. And now, when I talk to her, there's nothing to talk about. I don't know what she likes and doesn't like, what shows she watches and what foods she enjoys and what career she wants to pursue." She stops for a moment to catch her breath, before she keeps going at it with the same passion as before.

“And my eighteen-year-old brother, Karim? We used to do everything together, he was my best friend when I was younger, and now? We could go for literal weeks without speaking. And I just,” she pauses to sigh, “I just miss the simpler times, you know? Waking up to have breakfast together, going to school, coming back to have lunch together, doing my homework quick and early to watch some dumb show with my entire family while we have dinner together, I just miss them all.”

She stops for a moment, her hands coming to rest in her lap as she whispers, “Is it supposed to look like this?”

This time feels like this is an actual question, rather than a rant, so Carlos turns to Marjan, raising an eyebrow.

“What is it?”

“Adulthood,” she groans, throwing her hands in the sky. “This whole I’m an adult and I need to leave my family and I must transcend the world on my own. I want to live and go through the world and still go back home to them, you know?”

Marjan stops talking for a moment, eyes on Carlos before she frowns and trails her eyes away. Carlos keeps his own gaze on her, waiting as she comes to a conclusion to whatever question is obviously racking her mind.

"Do you?" She asks then.

Carlos has to blink a few times, certain that he missed something.

"Do I what?"

"Do you know what it's like to leave your family? I just realised I have no idea if you have siblings or where your parents are or anything."

"I… Well… I’m the younger one, so my sister left for college first, and she still works far away, so, I guess?" he questions, unsure if his answer is what she was looking for and trying to conceal his pain with confusion.

It seems to work because a wide smile breaks over Marjan's face as she turns to face Carlos completely, bending one leg under her.

"You have a sister?! I never knew!" she exclaims as she does a full one-eighty, going from hurt and frowning to eyes wide with curiosity.

"Yeah, one sister."

Marjan stares at him with wide eyes for a few moments. "And? Tell me about her!" she demands when he doesn't say anything else, making a “go on” gesture with her hand.

An easy smile takes over Carlos' face, even as he breaks eye contact to shake his head in amusement.

"Well, her name is Dora, she's four years older. And she's kinda my favourite person in the world, but don't tell her I said that," he threatens with a pointed finger.

It brings a chuckle out of Marjan, but she still mimics a zipper closing over her lips.

"Dora and Carlos Reyes, huh?"

"Well, kinda. Her full name is Isadora," he explains, continuing when she both frowns in confusion and nods in encouragement. “I saw her wearing a pink shirt one day, and she had a bowl cut like most kids of the early nineties, and my two-year-old self decided that she looked like Dora the Explorer,” he smiles as understanding starts to take over Marjan’s features.

“Isadora in a pink shirt and a bowl cut, it’s only a natural progression that you get to Dora.”

“Exactly!”

Marjan sits back on the bench, a laugh filling the space between them. She pulls to a side and grabs her drink, Carlos copying her when she brings the straw to her mouth. Silence follows as they gulp down their now warm drinks in quick sips, trying to catch up to the last thread of coldness.

This entire situation reminds him of his own self some ten years ago, when Dora first-ever left for college. He remembers how heartbroken he was, how he felt abandoned. He knew she was leaving for her future, and that he would undoubtedly do the same. But his fourteen-year-old self was still extremely offended and hurt, no matter how illogical it was.

“Do you miss her?” Marjan asks just as he realises that she finished her drink first, and has put down the empty cup beside her. “I mean, if she’s four years older, then she graduated at least eight, nine years ago, and she isn’t here, is she?” She asks, continuing when Carlos answers with a shake of his head. “Did it ever feel like she abandoned you?”

Carlos hums for a moment, trying to figure out how he’s supposed to control his emotions when Marjan puts it like that. It doesn’t help that he can’t really tell who she is asking about. But he wants to answer her in a way that’s both honest and gentle.

“Are you asking me about me, or asking me for your siblings?” he asks, figuring he doesn't need to assume when he can get the answer almost instantaneously.

Marjan snorts, shaking her head as she takes a deep breath and lets it out in a slow sigh.

“You’re too smart for your own self, Reyes,” she grumbles before she concedes, “I don’t know. Both, I guess?”

“Well, I can only speak for myself when I say that I did feel abandoned. I was so sad and angry at her that I didn’t really talk to her properly for the first few months, even though she kept trying and calling and adding me on social media," he starts to explain, taking a moment to think of the best phrasing. "Home was her, my dad and I, and when she left, she somehow ruined our home."

He shrugs as he stops, the memories of how hurt he was coming back to him, mixing with how hurt he feels right now.

“But after a while, she just kinda messaged me less, and we weren’t that close-knit unit we were anymore.” He feels the earlier bubble of anger return, but this time at his past self, at how he was so angry that he did things that are just so stupid.

“Yeah, that sounds very familiar right now,” Marjan sighs. "Are you guys in contact now? Or has it been that way ever since?"

"No!" he almost screams in his haste to correct Marjan, the sole idea of being on non-speaking terms with his sister leaving a sour taste in his mouth. "No, no, God,no, we're good now, we're best friends, we're proper close," he assures her, crossing his index and middle finger together.

"So how did you go from not talking for months to being best friends?"

"This is tethering on advice-giving, Marjan," he teases, raising an eyebrow at her and chuckling when she rolls her eyes at him. He can’t help but chuckle at how he seems to be getting the full blast of the Marwani Eye Rolls today.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm done ranting, I'm now asking for advice. I heard you gave Paul amazing words that started his journey with the mystery bar lady, so share that wisdom, Reyes," she huffs in feigned annoyance, much to Carlos' amusement. He knows that Paul has been making progress with Bar-Lady, but he's been keeping it under wraps lest it gets jinxed and falls apart, and Carlos has been respecting his wishes, refusing to say anything about their conversation or the events leading up to Paul approaching her.

Carlos reaches a hand to Marjan, grabbing her cup and getting up to throw the trash into the bin. Even though it's covered as environmental care, it's a way for him to catch his breath and organise his thoughts. And from the soft look Marjan gives him when he turns around, she knows that as well.

Still, she doesn't say a word even when he sits back down, giving him his space as he stretches his legs and finds a comfortable position on the bench. After a couple of minutes of silence, he finally turns to face Marjan.

"So, when my sister left, I was really hurt. Dora and my dad are all I've had, they were my entire world. In my head, she left our family and somehow that meant that it was broken," he begins, recalling how his joy over her getting into her dream college was quickly shattered when he realised how far away she'd be. "And at fourteen, I didn't know how to express that pain, so I just stopped talking to her."

"Now that I'm older, I think that I did that to hurt her back." He remembers when he came to that conclusion many years after the event was done and gone. "I knew how much our relationship meant to her, and I think I wanted her to know how it feels to be left, the same way she left me."

He sneaks a glance at Marjan, finding a guilty frown on her face. He wishes there was an easier way to say what he has to say, but it's one of those things that can't be sugar-coated.

"To be fair to her, she did keep trying. She was always calling and messaging me, asking about school and sports and TV shows. And I was sad and snappy, giving her short replies or single word answers. Sometimes I'd leave her on read just out of spite."

The memories are somewhat fuzzy in his mind, those months something he'd rather forget. But he still remembers how he'd race into his room after school, turn on his computer, open Facebook, read the message, only to exit the website again.

He'd give young Carlos a good slap up the back of the head if he could.

"It wasn't until one day, a couple of weeks before her first spring break, I got home earlier than usual. And I walked into my dad in the kitchen, talking to Dora on speaker. The first thing I had registered was how hurt she sounded," he recalls the absolute agony in her voice, the defeat, the resignation. "I was about to run in, ask what was wrong, when I heard her say I just don't know what to do, Papa, he won't talk to me, and I miss him so much."

He stops for a moment, he needs to, his voice just on the verge of cracking on that last word. It's a stark reminder of the rush of emotions he felt all those years ago, when he first overheard that conversation.

"I think I needed to hear that, though. To hear that she missed me too and to realise how hurt she was by leaving. I pretended I didn't hear anything, and just snuck up to my room. Except that now, I knew exactly how she felt. I knew that she was hurt too, but it didn't feel good. I didn't feel satisfied because she missed me. I just felt like I had lost her."

"A few days later, I went downstairs to my dad, and asked him if Dora would ever forgive me." The mention of his dad forces a smile out of him, and how he was so distressed that he just had to seek his dad's wisdom. "I think he tried to play it subtle at first, asking what I meant. But when he realised how affected I truly was, he quickly laid the truth down for me."

He can tell that Marjan is hanging onto every word he says.

"He told me that Dora laughed every time I hit a milestone and cried every time I got hurt. She wasn't going to hate me just because I didn’t talk to her for a few months. But that didn't mean that I was off the hook. The ball was in the middle of the court, and I had the chance to take the first step to make things right," he shrugs, his dad's words running through his mind again.

His dad was gentle, the way he always had been, but he didn't lie to Carlos either. He made sure that Carlos knew that he was responsible for the hurt both he and Dora were going through. And no matter how he felt at the very beginning, the end result was still pain for both of them.

"So I did. The next time she texted, I replied. And then I called her, and she picked up. And, you know, it took time, but we got there. And now, we're best friends again. We're so close right now that the fact that she hasn't gotten approved for time off has put us both in the worst of bad moods."

Marjan sighs as he comes to a stop, turning around to fiddle with her rings. He thinks that part of it is giving him privacy to get his emotions under control - they both act in the same way in that they aren't overly emotional in front of just anyone, and he doesn't think they're at that level of vulnerability quite yet.

"So," Marjan says after a long moment of silence, "I just need to keep going at it? Keep trying until they see what’s been happening, then we’ll be best friends again, Yara, Karim and I, huh?"

”I mean, I don't know for sure. But yeah, I think so."

"You know," Marjan quips with a frown on her face and what he thinks is the beginning of hope in her eyes, "I think I heard Yara mention Marvel and Iron Man once, and Karim is super into video games these days. I'm no expert in either, but…"

"But interest is the first step. I don't think Dora understood a single word of all the Pokémon talk that I used to tell her, but it got us talking!"

Marjan hums, looking out ahead of her into the parking lot. There isn't something in particular that's worthy of attention, but Carlos finds himself staring at a random tree next to the juice bar.

There's a weirdly placed nest high up on one of the branches, a bird of some kind making trips back and forth between the nest and the street underneath. He's starting to wonder if birds feel sorrow when one of them leaves, when Marjan breaks his non-conventional train of thought.

"Well, that's my family drama," she sighs, turning towards him again, slinging her arm on the backrest and rests her head on top of her hand. "What are we going to do about your sister?"

"I don't know. Suffer in sadness, I guess," Carlos huffs. "There's nothing to be done. Neither one of us is getting approved for time off anytime soon."

The sad smile that Marjan gives him is exactly why he didn't want to meet anyone right after he got the news. The sympathy would only make him feel worse. Though, now that he got the frustration beat out of him, it covers him like a comforting blanket.

"Well, I know no one can replace your sister," Marjan says with a shrug and a suspiciously teasing smile, "but I can be your big sister until you meet her again."

The rapid blinking that Carlos' eyes do on their own accord is probably enough of a reaction, because Marjan stares at him for a few moments and then breaks into laughter, the happiness he's come to associate with the woman finally making itself visible.

"You're, you're younger than me!" he exclaims.

“That just doesn’t sound right, does it now?” Marjan quips, a smirk spreading on her face.

"It's literally a fact!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she says as she gets up off the bench, hooking an arm around his once Carlos is standing up. "Drive me home, baby brother."

Carlos can’t stop the booming laugh he lets out as he stands up, as Marjan drags him to his own car. She will never replace Dora - no one will ever be able to - but Carlos is starting to think that maybe he’s earned himself a younger sister, even though Marjan claims otherwise.

[spooks-and-tea]

Entangled (Spencer Reid x femReader) [Ch.5]

Summary: You don’t know how it happened. One moment you were watching Criminal Minds, and the next moment you were literally in the show. Can Spencer be the key to helping you find your way back home?

Warnings: minor character death, mentions of su*cide, bad explanations of quantum mechanics, sexual situations(some non-con), the usual criminal minds-type content

A/N: MGG gave us so much material to work with yesterday *ahem* great, respectful visuals. I feel the need to post two chapters in 1 day to keep these good times-a-going.

Word Count: 3,538

Chapter 1.  Chapter 2.  Chapter 3.  Chapter 4. Chapter 5.  Chapter 6.  Chapter 7. Chapter 8.  Chapter 9.  Chapter 10.  Chapter 11.

You weren't excited to go home. You had spent the last few days with Spencer, and you wanted to give the man a breather.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay over at my place? There's this new documentary out about mantis shrimps that I've heard good reviews on. I was thinking of watching it tonight." Spencer asked, following you to your car.

"No I should go home and deal with-um." You squinted your eyes to think.

"Chris," Spencer smirked.

"Yeah, Chris. I also want to try out that piano."

"You should, you're good at it."

"I haven't played since I was in my high school's band." You stood next to the door, clicking the button to unlock it.

"I guess I'll have to ask Morgan then." Spencer squinted in the sun, watching Derek leave the building.

"Something tells me he doesn't find mantis shrimps as fascinating as you and I." You commented.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" Spencer asked.

"Bright and early."

"And you remember the addresses I gave you?"

You held up your phone. "Wrote them down."

"Good. Drive safe."

You reached out and pulled him into a quick hug.

"I will. Bye Spence."

************************************************************************ You stood at your entryway, hanging up your coat while you took everything in again. You still couldn't believe you owned all of this and had a rewritten history to go along with it.

There was still an entire second floor that you hadn't seen.

You trailed up the banister to the second floor. The first door you now knew was the bedroom, that left 3 more doors. You tried the next door over and opened it to reveal a bathroom. Of course, the bathroom was luxurious with a bathtub that reminded you of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. The next door over was a guest room, although it looked like it didn't have much use and was being used as an art and yoga studio. The next room was your favorite. Rows and columns of shelves full of books lined the walls your heart beat raced as you walked, running your fingertips along the spines of the books. A desk and computer sat at the end of the room, which you assumed was used when you worked from home.

There was a cozy nook with a sofa and chairs against another wall and all you wanted to do was curl up and read a book. This was definitely your favorite room of the house.

You chose a random book and sat down to read, getting cosy with a throw blanket and pillow. You must have lost track of time because, when you turned around to look out the window, the sun had gone down.

You left the room, wanting to explore more, but you walked into something.

"Y/N. You're, home. How was work?"

"Chris, hey. Work was good." You replied, inching around him.

"You didn't tell me you were leaving on a case."

"I didn't. I'm sorry." You faked sincerity, trying your best to avoid the stranger.

"You haven't seemed like yourself lately is everything alright?"

"Yeah, great. Everything is great."

"Were you actually on a case, or were you at Spencer's again?" He frowned.

"I was on a case Chris. I just forgot to tell you."

"You've been forgetting a lot lately."

Well there is a good reason for that. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Prove it." His eyes darkened. "Prove you're sorry."

"Um how?" You wrung your hands together.

"You haven't been around in a while, maybe you can spend the night in bed with me?" Um no, not going to happen. Stranger danger. Abort. Was this relationship entirely sexual?

Suddenly learning about mantis shrimps with Spencer was sounding a lot more enticing.

"I-I'm a little hungry. I think I'll go-" He held your arm, stopping you. Holding your hand up to kiss it. You cringed remembering how Spencer looked doing that to the unsub.

He started to kiss up your arm.

"Chris, I'm tired." You could smell a hint of alcohol on his breath. Your mind worked to think of ways to calm him down without angering him.

He sighed.

"Then let me take care of you."

Again, you cringed, in fact, you wanted to vomit. Spencer had said the same thing to you the night you got here. After he saved you from drowning. Except his words carried a different meaning and were more welcomed.

You snatched your hand out of his grasp.

"I can take care of myself thank you very much."

"Y/N, why are you being such a brat?"

What is this guy's problem?

"I'm tired from work and I haven't had anything to eat. I don't want to sleep with you, Chris." You tried to keep your voice civil.

"Are you hiding something from me?" He asked, eyes narrowing.

"No."

"You are. Is it him? Did he mark you up after you two fucked at his house?"

"How dare you?!" You yelled, absolutely appalled.

"Maybe if I left marks he could see what doesn't belong to him." Chris trailed his eyes down your neck.

"Who the hell do you think you are? I don't belong to anyone, especially you!"

"I'm your boyfriend! Don't blame me for being jealous after the way you've been acting lately."

"Look, calm down and we can talk about this." You didn't know this man, you didn't know how angry he could get.

"How could you go for someone like him? Is it the intelligence you're into? He's fucking weird. He looks like a skinny drowned rat."

"Don't talk about him like that." He could say what he wanted about you, but you wouldn't let him talk shit about Spencer, he didn't deserve that.

"You're defending him now! So there is something going on between you two. I knew it! I always knew it!"

"There is nothing." You said too calmly.

He suddenly reached out and grabbed the back of your neck, roughly pulling you towards him into a kiss. You pushed against his chest, backing away.

"You're hiding something and I want to know what, so strip."

"No."

He grabbed the back of your neck again.

"Then I'll do it for you, yeah?" He roughly grabbed your shirt, snapping the buttons off and pulling it off of you. You covered yourself with your arms.

"You are out of your mind!" You cried. How could you ever treat this guy as a boyfriend? He was  everything you hated.

"Well he didn't mark you here, did he mark your pretty thighs hmm? Did he spank you? Are you into that with him? I bet it's a professor and student thing." Chris barked out.

How he had gone from 0 to 100 so quickly, you didn't know.

"Get the fuck out of my house." You seethed.

"I live here!"

"Not anymore!"

With that, he stormed out, his drunken fatigue sparing you a longer fight. You lost the last of your resilience and fell, shaking, to your knees. You never wanted to see that horrible man again; he was a jealous prick. To think you gave him the benefit of a doubt when you first met; he didn't deserve anything from you.

You couldn't bring yourself to stand. You knew you weren't having a panic attack, but your anxiety was bad enough to have you shaking and crying on the floor. You reached out and grabbed your phone. Knowing it was the only thing you could do, you called Spencer. He picked up on the 4th ring. You could hardly hear them, he was somewhere loud.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Hey it's me." Although it was hard to hear him, his voice was already enough to begin calming your shaking hands.

"Hey Y/N what's up?"

"Heeeeeeeyyyy beautiful, you should have joined us tonight!" You heard Morgan's booming voice as he yelled into the phone.

"Oh, are you two out together?"

"Yeah Morgan offered to take me home, but then we stopped at this bar. There's live music!" Spencer sounded excited.

"You guys sound drunk already." You laughed, growing distracted from your current predicament despite your laying on the floor.

"Yeah, is there something you needed?" Spencer asked.

I need you.

You suppose he was enjoying himself tonight, you didn't want to take him away from that.

"I guess I just need to hear your voice." I need you here.

"You hear my voice all the time! Maybe too much! I'm always talking!" You heard Morgan loudly agreeing and women giggling and saying Spencer's name; trying to get his attention.

"Oh are you with JJ and Penelope?" Spencer took a moment to reply, saying something that you couldn't make out to the other people.

"No, why?" Because I need you here.

"It sounds like you're hanging out with a lot of people."

"We are! Morgan gave me this suuuuper strong drink and I started talking about the fall of the Roman Empire, it came up in a case once, and anyways, these two ladies came up to us and they love us! They want to hear all about Rome!"

"Spencer come dance with me please?" A female asked in the background.

"I-I don't dance," he replied to her.

"Then take me home." She whined, knocking into the phone with a thud.

"Um okay."

He returned to talking to you.

"Y/N I should go. Do you want to talk again later when everything isn't so loud?" Please don't leave.

"No I'm fine, go have fun Spence." He wasn't yours. Despite how close you two had already become, despite whatever fake history you shared, despite falling for the character on your tv screen.

"Okay." He hung up.

You dropped your phone on the floor you were currently sprawled out on. Feeling jealous, of course, for someone you had no right to be jealous for. To lash out at Spencer for having fun would make you no better than Chris.

When had you become so dependent on Spencer? It hadn't even been a week since your arrival here.

And yet you knew that he was the only person that made you feel like you weren't alone in this world, the only one who knew your secret. Is this what living in this new reality was going to be like? Lonely?

It's not like you had anyone in your previous life to turn to, what made this one so different, so heart-wrenching? Well, this universe had Spencer. Real Spencer. When Spencer wasn't around you, the absence felt abiding.

You eventually managed to pick yourself up, leaving your ripped shirt on the floor. You pulled yourself into the bathroom, avoiding looking at your reflection in the mirror. You drew yourself a hot bath and put a vanilla scented oil  you happened to keep by the soaps, inside. You breathed in the scent as you soaked in the tub. It wasn't the same. It was too sweet. It wasn't Spencer. Everything always circled back to Spencer.

You weren't typically the kind of woman to measure your self worth by your relationship to a man. You and Spencer were friends, and although it seemed at times that it could be more, maybe it just wasn't meant to be. You weren't from this world, you were forced into it. You had a hell of a lot of baggage; you couldn't help but feel like a piece of shit today though. Chris was the reason you felt violated, but you weren't going to sit here and cry over him all night. You were going to throw his clothes out into the hallway and hope that was all he had here. No, the tears that fell down your cheeks now were for yourself. After the last few confusing days you've had, you deserved to have a cry alone in a bathtub that didn't smell enough like your one comfort in this world.

If you were a stronger, more forward woman, you would go to Spencer's house and wait for him. Maybe he slept with the girl from the phone call, maybe he didn't. Either way you would confess to him everything that made him your favorite character before and everything that made him your favorite person now. Like the last unsub, you realized you had quickly fallen for Spencer Reid, but you weren't brave enough, or in any condition, to act on those feelings. You sat there and felt sorry for yourself until the water ran cold. Draining it, you made your way to your bedroom, but you hated the way it smelled like Chris. You lit some scented candles that were lying around and took all the sheets off, throwing them in the wash that took you a while to find. You grabbed the throw blanket from the library couch and decided that was all you need tonight. You brushed your teeth and got prepared for bed as your phone rang.

Sighing and already thinking of excuse to tell Hotch why you were not up for a case tonight, you picked it up.

"Hello?"

"I know who you are."

"What? Who is this?"

"I know who you are."

"Is this a joke?"

"I know who you are."

"I know who you are." The voice grew louder.

"I know who you are." Louder.

"I know who you are!" Louder.

The voice hung up, feeling your skin crawl. Suddenly you felt terribly alone in this big apartment, alone and scared.

You locked your bedroom door and blew out all you candles. Still, not feeling safe enough, you retreated to your closet, grabbing the throw blanket and a pillow along the way. You locked the closet doors and threw the items on your couch, still clutching your phone.

You sat on the couch in almost complete darkness, only the moonlight from a small window lit the room. You watched the rain outside fall, feeling tears slide down your cheeks. You could call Spencer; you should call him, but would he even pick up? You decided against it and scrolled through your contacts settling on another number. Someone you hopefully wouldn't be disturbing so late at night because you knew he was a night owl.

"Hello?"

"Rossi?" You whimpered through tears.

"Y/N? What's wrong?"

"I-I'm scared. I got a strange phone call and-and I'm hiding in my closet. I don't know what else to do." Well you certainly didn't sound like a believable crime fighter now.

"Okay, stay calm. Do you have your firearm on you?"

"N-no I left it downstairs."

"Do you have any reason to believe that someone could get into your house tonight?"

"It's unlikely, but I'd feel safer with someone here."

"Listen, I can come check on you, but I live 60 minutes away. Have you tried calling Reid? He lives closest to you."

"He was drinking with Morgan earlier, I-I doubt he could manage to catch a bus here."

"Okay. Try him first, then call me back if he can't make it. I'll come over if he isn't available, but don't panic, okay? We're trained to not panic in high stress situations like this for a reason." I'm not trained for anything, but making coffee and acting!

"Okay thank you. I'll check with him."

Your hands shook as you called Spencer's contact. It nearly reached his voicemail.

"Hello?" Spencer sounded groggy like he had just woken up.

"Spencer are you in any shape to make it over to my place?" Your voice softened, as it seemed to do whenever you spoke to him.

"Um. One second." You heard him groan and sheets rustling, he was probably pulling himself up in bed.

"Yeah, I can come over." Spencer yawned.

"You might want to bring your gun."

"Why? Is something wrong?" He suddenly became more alert.

"I'm probably overreacting. Someone called me and repeated this creepy message a-and it was unsettling and I don't feel safe here so I locked myself in my bedroom closet," you tried to coherently explain.

You heard him struggling to put on clothes.

"Okay uh- stay on the phone with me, okay?" It sounded like he was tripping over items.

"Okay." You whispered.

"Is Chris with you at least?"

You swallowed before answering.

"No."

"And you left your gun downstairs as per usual?"

"Yes." This was a normal mistake you made?

"Dammit. Okay I-I'm coming I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"Okay. Thank you Spencer."

"No need to thank me alright?" He sounded out of breath.

"Ok."

"Just stay in your closet and stay quiet. If you hear anything, let me know."

"Ok."

Your phone beeped a few times and you lifted it to look at the screen. Of course, the battery was dead.

"Fuck," you whispered. Dropping the cell in favor of clutching the pillow to your chest.

As you sat there you counted down the minutes until Spencer said he'd be there in your head. You knew he would be there at the exact time he said.

Every once in a while you heard a creaking, but the place was so big it could have just been normal house noises.

You counted down and when you hit 0, exactly when you hit 0, you heard nothing.

Spencer should be here. He's always precise.

You waited and waited for what felt like ages until a knock at your bedroom door made you yelp.

"Y/N? Are you in there? Are you okay?!" Spencer yelled through he door.

You ran to open it.

"Spencer." Spencer lowered his gun, pocketing it, clutching your discarded, ripped shirt in his other hand.

You threw your arms around him and buried your face in the crook of his neck. He tightly hugged you closer to him. You hugged him until you stopped crying.

"Are you okay?" He asked, softly.

"Emotionally? No. Physically? Yes." You pulled back.

"I didn't find anyone. But I found this and your phone cut off and I-I thought something bad had happened to you."

"I'm okay."

"How did this happen to your shirt?"

"Chris."

Spencer's eyes widened.

"Oh. Um I didn't know. Sorry."

You nearly facepalmed.

"No. It wasn't like that. I didn't want to do it." You explained, numbly. Spencer blinked at you, expression unreadable, holding your face gently.

"Tell me everything."

You nodded pulling him inside your room and, still feeling nervous, you locked the door.

You sat on your bed and gestured for him to do the same.

"What happened to your sheets?"

"I didn't like how they smelled like him, they're being washed."

"Oh."

You were silent.

"Tell me what happened since you left the BAU. You called me earlier and you sounded fine, what happened?" He asked in the steady tone of his interviewing voice. You explained coming home and being stopped later in the day by Chris.

"I tried to tell him that I was tired and hungry. It felt like a stranger was touching me and I hated it." You sniffled. Spencer reached out and gave your hand a comforting squeeze, for a germaphobe he sure turned to physical touch as a means of comfort a lot.

"He didn't listen and he accused me of sleeping with you because we spend time together outside of work." You looked at your joined hands. "He told me to strip to show him marks."

"Marks?"

"The kind you get from being rough when intimate Spence." You tried to explain without making the air awkward.

"Oh."

"I didn't follow his demands, so he grabbed my neck and he ripped my shirt off. He said some vile things about you and I kicked him out. That's how that shirt got there." You finished that explanation.

There was a silent beat, Spencer's face going through the motions until he settled on anger and guilt.

"Y/N I-I am so sorry."

"Don't be. That guy being a dick wasn't your fault."

"You called me afterwards. You said you needed to hear my voice. I was too drunk to notice you weren't okay. If you had told me, I would've come straight over a-and brought Morgan with me. He could probably beat Chris up. Prove the dominant masculine power structure he craves is toxic."

"He's gone now, so I wouldn't worry about him any more." You shrugged.

"After the burst of anger he displayed, I'd advise you to be cautious. He has a key to get inside, what's to stop him from attacking you again?"

"I don't know." You felt too exhausted to think about the Chris problem.

"Is he who you were hiding from? The phone caller?"

"No I was just about to go to bed when I got a phone call."

"What did they say?"

"'I know who you are.'" You took a shaky breath. "I tried to ask the caller questions, but he just repeated that, grew angrier and angrier, and hung up."

"What did he sound like? Was his voice familiar to you?"

"I didn't recognize the voice, but it was pitched down and nasally. Sort of like the killer in Scream?"

"Give me your phone."

"It needs to charge, it's dead."

"Alright, I'll give the number to Garcia to track, tomorrow. I'm sure she's not awake at this hour." Spencer rubbed at his tired eyes.

"Okay, thank you." You got up to charge your phone in the nearby wall plug. "Oh and Spence?" "Yeah?" He turned around. "Thank you for coming by so late. I hope I didn't take you away from uh you know- some- potential action tonight." You smiled, awkwardly laughing. You didn't like it, but you wanted him to not feel guilty for having fun for one night.

"Don't ever hesitate to call me, especially when you're in a situation like this." Spencer narrowed his eyes. "Action?" He frowned.

"I don't know. I heard some girls with you and Morgan, they seemed into you. I thought that's where you were tonight. That's why I hesitated to call again." You shrugged. Spencer scrunched his nose. "I-I didn't."

You raised your eyebrow, looking Spencer in the eyes, then rolled your eyes, biting your lip to hold back a smile. Your jealousy turned into admiration.

"Do you want to watch that documentary about mantis shrimps? I can't sleep after all of this."

Spencer's face lit up as he nodded and followed you downstairs.

Next Chapter

[ethereallyastral]

ALWAYS: LEVI ACKERMAN

genre: angst

fandom: attack on titan

word count: 2822

warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc, soft levi

“Levi... I’ll always be here, they’ll always be here.”

LOSS. A thing that often occurs within the Scout Regiment. It was something that was always expected. The people in the Scouts were people who were willing and brave enough to fight and throw their lives away for the sake of humanity.

For freedom.

Freedom was something that was deprived from the people of the walls for over a hundred of years. In the wall they were safe, they felt free. Or so they thought. But once you're out of the walls, it was only safety you felt within those fifty meter rocks. Freedom... was never there.

Those wings that are placed on those capes, were signs of hope. Symbolizing freedom, that one day they would be free from the torment of living in fear. Taste of freedom, an endless one. Where everything is painless.

But what is life without a little pain.

The most painful thing is to lose someone so dear, but hey, we all have out preferences of the most painful thing, but loss is something so painful. Whether it be a loss on a game, a pet, or something dear.

The human body and soul can only take too much.

Sometimes, some wished that emotions never existed. Just so that they can never feel the pain. But that's what makes you human, emotions are what humans have that what titans don't.

Pain can be overbearing. Some are driven insane, and some are driven to build their own walls. Locking themselves out from society. Drowning in their own emotions and pain.

Being a scout as a reputation, pushes you to become stronger than what you already are. Either by physical strength or most importantly, mental strength.

What goes on outside those walls every expedition is a sight to see. It was horrible. The smell of death fear, that any time you can be scooped up and find shelter in the beast's belly. And only if you are lucky or strong enough to fight, will you be able to get off easily.

You needed a strong mind and body for this job.

But as they say, the human body and soul can only take too much.

Some needed rest.

He needed rest.

Levi sat on his chair, a stack of paperwork in front of him. He felt dirty, he hadn't showered yet. He reeked of sweat and blood. They just got back from an expedition where a female aberrant came rushing in, taking lives.

And that included the lives of his squad members, only one making it out alive, traumatized.

He felt his heart clench as the image of the only surviving squad member flashed through his mind. Her E/C eyes were glossy and dead looking, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed and screamed in agony. Her cries were painful to hear.

He couldn't help but pity her as she screamed and cried, letting all of her feelings out.

It hurt him to see her like that.

She was left alone with four fallen soldiers that held place in her heart and a broken shoulder.

"AHHHHHH!" The H/C-nette screamed as she knelt down on the dirt. "Fuck it all! Fuck it all! Damn it!" She cursed and slammed her fist on the ground.

She couldn't help it. She knew that her captain's advice was to move and mourn later, but she needed to let this out before it affects her performance.

She screamed on top of her lungs, letting all of the pain out and sobbed her eyes out until she couldn't breathe anymore. The pain in her shoulder seemed non-existent because of the pain she was feeling because of the loss of her comrades. She felt it all over again, she felt everything she felt all those years ago.

She gripped her chest as she struggled to breath, she lets out another scream, "FUCK IT ALL! I FUCKING HATE IT ALL, DAMN IT! DAMN THIS WORLD FOR BEING LIKE THIS! SO FUCKING UNFAIR!" She sobbed.

Was she cursed? She thought. Why does this keep happening? The woman was fully aware that people come and go. But why is it so painful? Like hell, this woman had been through hell and back but it still hurts like hell.

With her cries, she failed to notice and hear the sound of footsteps. The raven haired captain stepped out from the shadows, "Oi, what are you crying about?" He stopped just behind her and looked around.

"Get up, L/N." Levi ordered, his voice stern.

Y/N didn't bother wiping her tears and stood up, dusting the dirt off her knees. She did a firm salute, but didn't look up from the ground, "I'm sorry captain!" She croaked out.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, L/N." He lied. In that moment, he was blaming you. Just like how he did years ago. He blamed you. But didn't succumb to it. "You're lucky to be alive." He added.

Y/N stayed quiet. Her eyes on the ground, still holding her salute. She couldn't bring herself to face the raven haired captain. He said it. The same damned thing he said from years ago. She knew that in some way, Levi blamed her.

She blamed herself too.

If only she got back on time.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, L/N." Levi spoke up, sternly.

She gulped and slowly looked up at her captain, "I'm sorry, captain."

"Tch. Group back with the others. Take my horse, I have business to deal with."

"Yes captain."

He knew you knew better than to deal with pain during an expedition. Something could've happened, get hurt or worse, killed and be found dead.

But he was thankful, someone from his squad was still alive. He wasn't better himself, after having to put up a fight against the female aberrant, he had himself a sprained ankle and a pile of paperwork. His cup of tea.

Speaking of tea, he noticed that his cup was already empty. He stood up from his seat and walked towards the burner and grabbed the kettle, only to frown when there isn't tea anymore. He reached for his box of tea leaves to find it empty.

In frustration he kicks the kettle to the floor, "Damn it." He muttered as he realized what he has done. He crouched down and picked the kettle off the ground.

He saw his reflection on the clean metal. He took out a hanky from his back-pocket, wiping off the dirt on his face. He looked strong on the outside.

But in the inside, he was breaking down.

Deep down, he couldn't stand it anymore.

His train of thoughts were cut off with the sound of knocking, it was soon followed by a voice. "Levi? Can I come in?" The man, Levi rose to his feet and placed the kettle back on the burner.

"Name and business."

The H/C haired girl's lips twitched into a smile before replying, "Cadet Y/N L/N, captain. I've brought dinner..." She trailed off, "AND tea, sir." She added.

"Don't you have any hands L/N? Open the fucking door."

"I would've captain, if my hands weren't so fucking full."

Levi, who was inside, rolled his eyes and walked towards the door. He twisted the knob and pulled the door open revealing the small S/C girl.

Her H/L H/C hair was pulled back in a little low ponytail, she looked much better than she was previously on the battlefield. Her lips were etched into a smile that could literally brighten up the captain's day.

"Good evening, captain. Would you like some tea?" She asked, tilting her head.

The raven haired man didn't waste any time and pulled her in his office. He swore that he was doing this for the tea.

For the fucking tea.

--

Once the H/C-nette got inside, she didn't waste a second and started to clear out the tired captain's desk while he lounged on the couch. His head leaning on the edge, he was closing his eyes.

Once the girl finished clearing out his desk, he sorted all his finished paperwork into folders and labelled them with her neatest handwriting. She placed the tray of food and tea on the desk.

She took his cup and went ahead to wash it before pouring in a good amount of hot tea. Adding a drizzle of honey, making it a tad bit but not too sweet to affect the captain's liking.

She turned around to see the captain snoozing off on the couch. She had a small smile, "It's been awhile since you've slept, Levi." She says in a soft tone.

She took the cup of tea and walked to towards the couch, she gently placed the cup on the small table before them to emit a sound and wake up the captain.

She slowly set herself on the couch beside him. She turned to face him, her elbow leaning on the edge of the couch with the side of her face resting on her palm, she watched him.

She's known this man for so long and for the first time in ten years or so, did she finally see him at peace again. His breathing was steady, his features light and serene.

It was a beautiful sight to see.

But once she noticed how he started to switch positions, she regained composure and straightened herself up only find the captain wrapping his arms around her waist.

Her hands were raised in the air, her E/C eyes were wide in shock. Levi wasn't one to be touchy feely, so just him hugging her was quite a surprise.

Levi's right hand rose up and reached for her hands, settling it down the nape of his neck. She was again caught by surprise but her hands moved on its own, finding its way through Levi's soft black locks.

"Levi?" His name rolled out of her tongue as she felt the sudden wetness on her shirt. She looked at the male who just tightened his grip on her waist. She looked closely to find him shedding tears.

He's kept them long enough.

"Just hold me, darling. Please." The old endearment rolled off his tongue, making the woman flinch.

"Darling, huh? Haven't heard that in a while, Levi." Y/N said and sweetly smiled, brushing her fingers through his hair, slowly massaging his scalp.

"I'm sorry, darling." He spoke out, "I haven't been strong lately. Everything's falling down. I'm losing everything." He says and turned on his back. His head now laying on the woman's lap, playing with her hands.

The woman gave him a sad smile and leaned down, planting tender kiss on his forehead. He looked at her, asking if he could go on with all of it. She simply nodded and let him talk.

She listened to every single thing he said. All the hurt and pain he had been through and how it affected him. It wasn't only that, he cried while doing so. Showing his vulnerability to Y/N and only Y/N.

It has been ages since she saw him cry. She felt a wave of ego boost when she realized how much this man trusted her, letting her see his vulnerable side. Because Levi was one to keep it all inside, no matter how it hurts.

"I'm sorry, Y/N."

"Why are you saying sorry, Levi?" She asked, raising a brow.

"I'm sorry for blaming you." He sat up and faced her, pulling her hands into his, "I'm sorry for blaming you for everything. I'm sorry for not being there. I'm a sorry excuse of a partner, I'm so fucking sorry—" He was cut off by his sobs.

She sheds a tear before pulling the raven haired man in her arms, wrapping her arms around his torso as she felt him bury his face on the base of her neck.

"Hey... Hey... It's okay, I blame myself too." She says cradling his head in her hand. "That's it. You blame yourself, then I blame you when in reality those events cannot be prevented what so ever. It wasn't anyone's fault." Levi said, hugging you tighter.

"I know I shouldn't be letting this out on you, but I'm just losing so much. They always find a way to leave. I'm scared that I'll lose you too, darling."

"Levi, look at me." Y/N says.

Levi couldn't bring himself to look up, keeping his face hidden between her neck and shoulder. Y/N unwraps her arms around him and pushing him away gently before cupping his face in her hands. Levi leaned into her touch, how he missed it. He wouldn't admit it, but he did.

"Look at you missing my touch," She teased and chuckled.

"You brat."

"But I'm your brat, aren't I."

"You're damn right."

He and Y/N laughed. She gently wiped the tears off his face, swiping her thumb against his soft cheeks. "Levi," She stared into his glossy grey orbs, "People come and go. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and it just so happens that their time is finally up."

"Our world is where death in inevitable. That's why you need to live and love while you're still alive. It's hard to do that in a place like this, but, that's that." She sighed.

Levi stared at her, listening intently. "But just so you know." She leaned closer to him, "Levi... I'll always be here, they'll always be here." She says and pushing her finger to the left of his chest, "They're always here. Right in here." She wrapped her arms around him and he gladly hugs her back.

"Damn it. I love you so much."

"I love you too, idiot."

"What a brat." He muttered making her chuckle.

He laid on her stomach while Y/N played with his hair, he broke the silence. "Y/N..."

"Hmm?"

"I'm scared."

"The Levi Ackerman? Scared? What did you eat, Levi?"

"I'm scared of losing you too." Levi says, reaching for her hand, intertwining it with his. "I've lost Farlan, Isabel. I lost my whole squad, my mother, heck. I don't even know who my father is. I don't think I can bare losing you too."

Y/N smiles as he looks in her eyes, "Idiot. You'll never lose me. If ever my time comes and runs out, I'll always be with you. Whether I'm alive or not, I'll always be with you."

"Always?"

"Always."

--

You idiot. Levi thought as he kneeled beside her lifeless body. Y/N beaten up and bloody, you took a blow for a mere cadet to save his ass form getting kicked by the hairy beast, the beast titan.

Levi didn't know if you were crazy or were you just foolish enough to sacrifice your life for someone you merely know. But what he knew you were always this selfless.

He couldn't stop his tears from flowing down as he gripped your cold hand. His temperature contrasting yours. What broke him the most, you died smiling. You made eye contact with him seconds away from your death.

He said he could've done something to prevent it, but remembering what you said, he couldn't bring himself to move.

"You fucking idiot." He cried, gripping onto the green cape wrapped around your shoulder, "Why the hell did you leave me?!" He lets out.

"I'll always be with you."

"Always?"

"Always."

"You shitty brat, wake up." He muttered as he looked at a part of your face, your eyes particularly, wishing it would just flutter open and say it's just a prank. "Please.." He whispered.

He felt a hand touch his shoulder, turning his head he saw Hanji, "Levi, it's Erwin—oh no..." Hanji covered their mouth as they saw your lifeless body.

"Levi, I'm so sorry."

He shuts his eyes and replied, "It was unavoidable." He slips his arms under your legs and hoisted you up bridal style, "My fiancé will be needing a proper burial."

"Of course. I'm sorry, again."

Levi couldn't utter a reply. His silence being the only response to Hanji's apology.

--

Levi was once again in his office, a stack of paperwork before him and an empty cup of tea. An empty kettle and an empty box of tea leaves, tired body and red puffy eyes. No one to bring him dinner or make him tea. No one to hold him and no one to bring him comfort.

He looked up from his table, staring at the blood-stained scouts cloak hanging on his office door. The image of her smile flashed through his mind, he missed her dearly.

Her voice ringing in his ear, "Whether I'm alive or not, I'll always be with you."

"Always?" he asked softly to practically no one, but he can hear her reply.

"Always."

--

eep! my first post, hope it wasn’t that cringe. hope you enjoyed tho. criticism is appreciated. 

[alovesthis]

All Things Must Pass -- Dean Winchester CHAPTER SIX

Dean Winchester x (female) Reader Fic

Fic Summary: Reader and Dean Winchester reunite after not seeing each other in a few years, ever since he told her to leave him and his issues behind. Reuniting wasn’t what you expected it would be like because of past feelings, memories and a life threatening situation that was placed upon Dean Winchester.

Warnings: none!

Word Count: 2k

CHAPTER SIX

1992, Texas - last holiday as a family

It was snowing heavily and nonstop in Texas that year. Although it was melting to the ground, you appreciated the white snowflakes falling against the apartment window making it feel like the holidays.

At just fifteen years old, there were so many things on your holiday list of things you wanted that were either too expensive or seemed too childish for you. It was at that age, you would just stick to asking for fairy tales and other books for the rest of your teenage years. And if you ever received something that felt too young for you, you would pass them down to Stevie. You were sitting on the faded blue couch in your family's fourth apartment of the last couple of years, watching your parents sit at the dinner table with a bunch of books spread out. They were researching for someone they knew, and since it was the holidays they wanted to get things done by tonight, in order to spend time with you and Stevie.

Since you were born, your parents were trying to balance a normal life and hunting. It wasn't easy, but they were managing. See before they had you, they met on a hunt and occasionally ran into each other a few times until they decided to team up. They met other hunters and friends along the way, creating lifelong friendships and ended up falling for each other and having you.

As you sat there, a book in your hands as the record player spins some Fleetwood Mac, your mom's favorite, you wonder if you'll end up doing what your parents do. Hunting. They didn't hide it from you, they told you last year because you were smart. They still kept it from Stevie, she was too young to understand and needed to be protected. Stevie comes running out the small bedroom you two shared, holding some thin children's book ranting at the top of her lungs. She was reading some mystery book, flailing around claiming she solved the case before the main character.

"Stevie! I know you love these books, but you have to take it easy." Your mom laughs as she stands up from the wooden cheap chair and grabs her, throwing herself down on the couch right next to you. Stevie starts giggling once mom starts tickling her.

"Alright girls," Your father stands up and walks over to stand in front of the three of you with a smile that he's trying to hide. "Got some bad news."

You sit up quickly, pushing your book off your legs and panic. "Please don't tell me you guys gotta go? I mean, it's the holiday season and..."

"Seriously, Travis?" Your mom shakes her head. "Don't scare them like that."

"Ah, sorry." He sits down next to you and pulls you into him. "The bad news is that we won't be around for New Years. But...we have a few days until we gotta go."

"Bad news first then the good news." Your mom turns to you. "That's always the best order to go in when you gotta tell someone something."

"So, what's the good news!?" Stevie jumps out of her arms and starts to dance around the room to the music.

You and your parents smile, watching Stevie "dance" along the dull creamy colored carpet under yellow toned light, to 'Everywhere'.

"The good news is that you get a few more gifts than normal." Dad smiles.

"Yeah, our friend Bobby helped us out with these." Your mom smiles as she stares at yo and Stevie. "And, you get to open them tonight."

"Only if you girls eat your damn vegetables tonight. I swear, it's like you're both allergic."

On this last holiday with your parents, something you never thought was a possibility, they made dinner together with music playing loudly in the living room. It wasn't rare to have these nights, but it didn't happen all the time either. After dinner, the four of you were sitting in the living room, which was literally five steps away from the table and kitchen. A few gifts were wrapped for you and Stevie. Your mom sits next to you as Stevie tears through gifts and plays around with them with your dad.

"I want you to know, Y/N," Your mom begins. "What you dream, what you read...everything you want, you can have it. What your father and I do, doesn't have to be your life okay? But it's okay if you want it to be. You have so many options. Although I don't necessarily want you in that life, I know once you're older you'll be capable to make these decisions on your own."

Your mom sits down on the floor with you and hands you the gift, watching your eyes glisten from the white lights that hang on the walls for holiday decoration.

Your fingers gently opened the brown thick paper covering as Stevie ripped through hers. The skinny wool string that was tied around it had come off as you pushed the gift under it, revealing dark green leather. It was The Little Mermaid, an old edition but it was beautiful. Gold lettering shinning on the cover and catching the white lights that were hung up behind you.<em>

"The Little Mermaid." You smile.

"Do you remember when I used to read this to you before bed?"

She also meant if you remembered her reading some of it before she would leave for hunts.

"Yeah, I do." You placed the book down and engulf your mom into the biggest hug. You always loved reading ever since you would listen to her voice reading you fairy tales, classic stories and books that centered on a character taking on anything that came your way.

"Thank you, mom. I really love it." You pull away a smile.

"I love you." Your mom wraps her arm around you and leans against the couch.

"I love you too, mom." You close your eyes and hold onto her arm.

"Cath, let's say we do some hot chocolate for the girls and they get ready on the couch for a movie or two." Your dad says, and Stevie jumps up and runs over to your mom.<em>

"Sure thing." She smiles and runs her fingers through your hair. "Can you handle Stevie for a bit?"

"When can I not?" You laugh as you grab your sister and start messing around with her as she continues to laugh and yell at the top of her lungs.

As your parents worked together in the kitchen and to make tonight special before they go on one of their last hunts, you sit there on the couch holding the book you were gifted up against your chest. Stevie sits close by you, her hands playing around with some toy that she unwrapped not too long ago. You watch your parents stand close by each other as they make snacks and hot coco for everyone. Your dad's arm wraps around your mom's neck and you see him leaning down to kiss her on the top of her head.

Sitting there, you smile softly to yourself as you begin to wonder if maybe one day you'll be just as lucky as them. Whether it's in the hunting life or not, you were silently wishing you you'd be as smart, strong and brave like your mom and rave and confident like your dad. What they had, you wanted.

That was the last holiday you and Stevie had with your parents. Like they said, they wouldn't be home for New Years. But a week after that, your parents came home a mess, scurrying around trying to get things packed and moving. It was that very night you realized they were in trouble. Leaving your apartment, you watched your parents get ripped away from you and Stevie by something, as another hunter who went by the name John Winchester saved your life.

2007 - inside the impala, on the road.

"You alright over there?"

You start blinking out of your trance of the one last good memory you've held on with your family. Clearing your throat, you roll down the impala window to get some air and take a few seconds before you turn your head to Dean.

"Yeah, I'm fine I guess."

"Are you sure, because you look like you're sick or something."

"I said I'm fine." You snap, before sighing and realize that it's not the best to get mad right now.

"Tis the season to be merry, am I right?" Dean scoffs as he turns on the radio, pushing the dial for the sound much higher.

"Look, I'm sorry. You know I'm not the biggest fan of the holiday season."

"You and me both." Dean scoffs. "What's on your mind?"

The silence plays throughout the car for awhile, making you want to open the car door and just jump out and avoid everything. Your parents, the antagonizing memory and Dean's deal. You start to re-think the idea of sticking around with the Winchester's, not sure if you can take it anymore.

"Dean?"

He hums in response as he keeps his eyes on the road.

"I was just thinking about my parents and the holidays." You say softly as you look back out the window. "Last time I saw them...well the last time I saw them on a normal day, we had a 7great night. It's just I see all the christmas lights, all the decorations and I get to thinking about them."

"You miss them." Dean says.

"Every day, but now a little bit more." You lean against the car door and look back at Dean, wrinkling your forehead as you stare with empathy. "Then it got me thinking about you, about you know...the deal."

"Y/N." His hands tighten around the wheel, his knuckles turning pink as his posture stiffens.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but you do know that we're here. It's not just us that's hurting...I know deep down, Dean, that you're hurting too. And that's okay, but what's not is that you're trying to hide it and I can see it."

"I'm-I'm not hiding anything." Dean says, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he drives. His right arm drops from the wheel and rests on his thigh. "Just drop it, alright?"

"Dean, all I'm saying is...it's okay to talk about things." You reach over and grab his hand to squeeze it, letting him know you're there. "I know it's been a while, and things got messy the last time we spoke. But I am here and like you used to say to me, no one has to go through life alone. Especially not this one. So Dean, please..."

Dean begins loosening his hand that is holding his thigh tightly, ready to flip his palm to face up. He doesn't want to talk, not now and not yet anyways. As it loosens, he slowly turns it over and lets his hand gently grasps on to yours. In surprise of his actions, you smile and keep your hand open, waiting for him to make the next move. A path to forgiveness between two friends and unresolved tension lingers between just the lack of inches between your hands. You're ready, but he's slowly hesitating.

And just as he's about to make a move to hold your hand, your cell phone goes off catching you two in an awkward space. As he drives, he looks over at you for a moment and you stare into his darkened green eyes After a few rings, you take your hand away and open your flip phone and answer the call.

Stevie's on the phone and Sam's driving your truck, telling you about yet another unusual case up in Michigan. She tells you that everyone should stop soon for a food break and to go over the case before traveling any further.

"Stevie and Sam have a case." You say after a few seconds. "She said to stop at the next exit for food and we'll go over it."

"Got it."

And that's all he says for the next hour in the impala, before you get to the rest stop and he begins to banter Sam and avoids the (one sided) conversation you two had just an hour ago. You don't want to push him, but you want him to know that he's never been alone in this. No matter what happened between the two of you, there will be a way to save him. Even if you can't get too close to the deal, or the demons or researching a way out, you'll be there.

-

not my favorite,  might go back and edit eventually! but enjoy and happy holidays. i’ll be back with two chapters this week or next week just in time for christmas + it’ll be centered around the A Very Supernatural Christmas episode in s3!! 

------

TAGLIST (if you wanna be added just let me know and I’ll add you to future chapters!!!)

@akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @canonboobs @vikkiwalker

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 2

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: 1- haha syke (sort of lol)! 2-thats why i asked this question, now you know!

yes, thats the only notes you need lol! oh and FEEDBACK PLEASE! :) please tell me how you think their coffee “date” will go?? would mean a lot!

Chapter 2 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

"Honey! I'm home!" I yelled as I walked inside, closing the door behind me and throwing my purse on the couch.

"Kitchen, babe!"

I followed the voice with a small smile and leaned against the door frame as I watched him bend down to take something off the oven. I crossed my arms and stared at him, trying to suppress a chuckle. With a quick head movement, he pushed a lock of his hair out of his face and raised his eyebrows at me with a smirk. I moved closer to him, taking a few steps slowly as he put the cookies he had just not burned for once in a plate.

"You know your son is way too young for cookies, right?"

His eyes became smaller as he looked at me and it made me laugh even more.

"I made them for you, silly!"

"Louis, come on." I pointed out with a frown. "I just spent two hours tasting wedding cakes and you think i'm in the mood for cookies?"

With a grimace, he grabbed two cookies and put one in front of me before sitting next to me at the table. I made the cookie turn around as I stared at it, feeling suddenly a bit nervous. I wasn't really sure I wanted to have this discussion but I told Louis everything. I was surely not going to keep that kind of information from him.

"Okay my queen, talk to me, what happened?"

He slid his arm on the table until his hand reached mine. I let go of the cookie and gripped his fingers tight. His hand was warm, as it always was, but it took me a few seconds to look up in his eyes. When I did, my heart skipped a beat. He was clearly concerned and worried and I just shrugged a shoulder before looking down again.

"I saw Niall."

Suddenly, the grip of his fingers became tighter and I held my breath. Louis and I had been through so much together during the past year and I was scared this would somehow change the dynamic we had. I knew he kept talking with Niall from time to time but it was far from being the way it used to be between them. I never asked Louis to choose between us, and I never even made allusions to it for the simple reason that they were friends before we were and I knew he still considered Niall like a brother. Who was I anyway to decide who Louis could and couldn't hang out with?

That being said, Louis and I had worked on ourselves individually a lot. We both went to therapy, tried to follow our dreams, found love and learned to accept ourselves as full human beings. We didn't need love to be complete and we didn't need our soulmates either. Of course, it didn't feel so easy when Niall was close but if I wanted to be honest, I thought it would hurt a lot more to see him again.

"He was with his girlfriend?"

"No." I replied with a shrug before adding a 'thank god' in my head.

"How did that make you feel?"

I took a few seconds to think and finally looked up, my eyes meeting his as a small smile spread across my lips.

"It's... Niall, you know? I'll always feel something when he's around. That's what you said, right? Soulmates and all that?" He nodded slowly and I shrugged a shoulder. "I mean, I will love him forever but... he broke me, and I don't want to let him break me again."

Louis' face change and he sent me a sincere smile before nodding quickly this time. He squeezed my fingers and tapped my thigh a few times a bit too roughly.

"Ow!"

"That's my queen!"

He got up and kissed the top of my head, making me roll my eyes but chuckle. He walked to the fridge and took a beer out before opening it and throwing the cap in the sink. I stared again at the cookie on the table and swallowed, playing over and over the encounter I had with Niall in my head. He looked good and happy and I couldn't help but think that he never regretted his decision to break up with me. Of course, it took him a few months to get a new girlfriend but when he did, something inside of me died. I remembered exactly when I found out he was dating someone and it was probably the biggest slap in the face I had ever had. I cried for a week, wondering what the fuck was wrong with me. All I could think about was how his love for me, if it ever existed, was clearly not strong enough but even worse, he didn't even try to keep my friendship.

"You're thinking about him, aren't you?"

I sighed and closed my eyes for a few seconds as I tried to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace. I couldn't hide anything to Louis, even if I wanted.

"Not so much him but what I meant for him."

Louis walked back next to me and crouched down, one of his knees on the floor and his hand on my thigh. He waited until our eyes met and he raised his eyebrows.

"We've been through that, remember?" Louis pointed out in a soft tone. "He was scared to be trapped and he let go of the most important person in his life. You were not the problem, Liv."

"He's with someone now." I just said, shaking me head, after letting out a long sigh. "And with her too I mean, he replaced me with her."

Louis nodded very slowly, pressing his lips together and making the left corner of my lips raise up.

"Yes, besides you, my friend Neil has very bad tastes in women."

It was not true at all but I appreciated the lie and I tilted my head to stare at Louis. I had moved back to my apartment after Niall broke up with me and Louis was the one who had picked my stuff at Niall's for me. We hung out together and he's the one who pushed me to write what I wanted to write. My father agreed to make a special section for my story on his site and within a few hours, there were more views than any other page of the site. I found someone to play the male character and I gave myself the role of the female one until I got the e-mail that literally changed my life.

Netflix. I barely believed it and I had to read the e-mail twice but it turned out to be real and after some negotiation, my tv show was about to be re-made with a bigger budget and real actors and this time, it was going to be seen by way more people. I didn't have to insist to keep playing in it, they quickly agreed to that term of the contract and it surprised me. Apparently, I was not so bad of an actress, who would have known? That's why I moved to L.A. with Louis : to live a dream I wasn't even aware I had before, when I was dating Niall. There are so many things I didn't know when I was with him, including who I was. Now, it was different.

"So." Louis continued, getting up to grab his beer again. "Did you girls go with Liam's request and pick chocolate?"

I raised my eyebrows in amusement and my lips parted a bit as we stared at each other.

"How do you know that?"

Louis' smile turned into a smirk. "He asked me and I said I wanted chocolate too! So I said he should harass Julie and he said I should harass you. So I had to challenge him, and he lost."

My face twisted and I frowned, suddenly a bit scared.

"What was the challenge?"

"Oh, darling, you don't want to know." his accent had turned thicker and his smirk bigger, making me shake my head. "Trust me."

"You're right, I don't want to know."

He laughed a bit and moved his chin in my direction as he leaned against the counter, his beer still in hand. He took the last sip and put it away before swallowing and licking his lips. I loved Louis. I really, really loved Louis.

"So? Chocolate?"

I grimaced and sent him an offended look as I shook my head again.

"It's like you don't even know me!"

"What did you pick then?"

I didn't have time to answer. My lips just parted a bit before we both heard the doorbell. I jumped on my feet and we both rushed to the living room to reach the front door.

"Me!" I yelled as I tried to be faster than him.

"Oh please, it's clearly for me!"

I laughed as he pushed my hips with his and even more when both our hands ended up on the knob, twisting it at the same time without opening the door. We laughed and when the door finally opened wide, my smile grew.

"So, who won this time?"

I forgot the game I had with Louis and barely even heard my boyfriend's question. I just tilted my head and bit my bottom lip. He looked pretty and the way he smiled always got to me. Louis let him walk in and he just opened his arms, bending down slightly to wrap them around my waist and pull me up. I laughed like a school girl and looked down at him, bringing my lips against his.

"Clearly, I won." I whispered only for him to hear, licking my lips before kissing him again.

He chuckled against my mouth and finally put me down but I kept him close and deepened the kiss. The fact that we were still acting like new lovers was nice and I hoped it would never stop.

After moving here, we were about to cast auditions for the other characters but I was mostly nervous about the male lead since I was going to do most scenes with him and even kiss him. I was allowed to have a say in who they would pick but before we could even start the auditions, I received a message on twitter. My account was not private anymore and was even verified, which was something I never thought would ever be possible. I was not the kind of person who liked attention but it was still important for me to remain on social medias, even if I wasn't online as much as other people.

Most of the messages I was tagged in were about Niall and I couldn't blame his fans who asked about me but it was surprising to see it even after so long. At first, the tweets about some of them being 'devastated' by our break-ups made me cry but now I just felt nostalgic of what I once had with him. One time, though, I got a notification that I was tagged in a post and when I clicked on it, I choked on my coffee. Dylan O'Brien. Dylan fucking O'Brien had tagged me and had added 'would love to play in your show!'

After a few days of chatting online, we had finally decided to talk on the phone and I realized he was the funniest and sweetest guy in the world. It's only really the very first time I met him that I realized I had it bad, though. He came to the audition but in my head, the part was already his, and when our eyes met, I felt it inside of me. It could have been just me being starstruck but when he had smiled at me, my heart had fluttered in a way it hadn't since... since Niall.

"You two get a fuckin' room." Louis let out, but I could hear amusement in his voice.

I turned to him and he sent me a smirk just as I showed him my middle finger.

"I live here too, remember?" I asked jokingly.

The plan when we moved here was to buy a house together, support each other and spend as much time as we could with each other. Did Louis and I ever had sex after that infamous night? Maybe, but quickly, we had both stopped needing it. Not because we weren't in pain anymore, but because we had other distractions and other things to focus on. I hadn't received my first check yet but it was coming and I knew it. I couldn't wait to give some of my money to Louis for the house but only as a rent. He was keeping the house to live in it with his girlfriend while I had planned to move with Dylan very soon. Everything was falling into place, and just as I thought my life was exactly the way it was supposed to be, I saw Niall again.

"Yea well you two lovebirds will have the house for yourself tonight." Louis explained, grabbing his wallet from the coffee table and looking for his keys. "I'll be gone all night."

"Say hello to Eleanor for me!"

Louis sent me a smirk and a wink before walking up to us and bending down to kiss my cheek.

"Will do." he promised in a low tone. "Goodnight queen."

A few months earlier, I had heard Louis cry himself to sleep at night. It was not something unusual, I knew it happened from time to time since his mother had passed away, but I remember leaning against the wall of his room for half an hour, listening to him cry and crying with him. If he had wanted me to be there with him, he would have asked, I knew it, that's why I didn't knock or tried to talk to him, but at the same time, it was hard to handle, and I couldn't pretend I knew him as much as Eleanor did. He was also crying for her, I was well aware of that, and on that night, I had messaged her. I didn't have to beg her to come over, she just did. She literally took a fucking plane to come here and comfort him. If that's not love then I have no idea what is.

"Goodnight, pet."

Louis raised his eyebrows and pointed his finger at me. "Don't call me that, ever, remember?"

I just shrugged and laughed, feeling Dylan's hand grab my fingers gently as he chuckled too. He suddenly turned to me and raised his eyebrows.

"Oh hey, you were trying out wedding cakes today, how did it go?"

"She didn't pick chocolate mate, don't even bother." Louis grimaced, making Dylan smile more.

"Of course she didn't, i'd say..." he turned to me and his eyes got smaller as he pondered. "She hesitated and almost picked raspberry but ended up choosing.. strawberry and cream."

My lips curled and I shook my head. "How do you know me so well?"

"O'Brien, I hate you." Louis just said, slapping gently my boyfriend's chest. "Thanks for making sound like a loser."

"You're welcome!" Dylan joked as I rolled my eyes at their interaction.

I waited as Louis typed something on his phone and he finally looked up at us and smiled before leaving. As soon as the door closed behind him, I received a text message and walked up to my purse to look at it.

'Tell him!!!!' Louis had typed with clearly too many exclamation points.

I just sent him a thumb up and when I went back, I felt my lips curl very slightly at the sight of the emoji Niall sent me. It was good seeing him, it felt amazing to be near him. It was so hard to realize that my best friend was not my best friend anymore, and although I knew that life is just like that sometimes, it still hurt. This year away from each other was needed, at least for me, to find myself, but I always thought Niall would remain in my life forever.

"So strawberries and cream uhm?" Dylan said to catch my attention. "I can live with that."

I threw my phone on the couch and sighed with a smile, turning his way. I grabbed the front of his shirt and finally looked up in his eyes, licking my lips as his hands reached my waist.

"Can you live with me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and making him chuckle low.

"Damn right I can."

He pulled me closer and kissed me, making my heart skip a beat. I had never compared Dylan to Niall but at that exact moment, I couldn't help myself. They were both smart, kind and funny, the main difference being that Dylan hadn't shattered my heart in pieces, at least not yet. The way they kissed was different too. Niall kissed me passionately, impatiently and deeply. Dylan kissed me gently, like I was something fragile, something important he didn't want to break, or simply because he wanted to take his time and feel every second of it. He kissed me like every kiss actually meant way more than we both thought.

I felt him deepen the kiss and my heart jumped again. I couldn't do anything with him before telling him about my day, and all I could see behind my eyelids was Louis' text message.

"Mm, I have something to tell you." I whispered against his lip, making him pull away immediately.

He stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes roaming on my face, and I suddenly felt extremely nervous. He was never the jealous type but I don't think anyone could enjoy their lover meeting again with their ex, especially knowing Niall and I's history.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"Nothing's wrong, no, don't worry." It wasn't a lie. I sent him a small smile and shrugged. "I just wanted you to know that... I saw Niall, today."

His eyebrows raised slightly but fell back down half a second later. He stared down at me, mostly trying to decipher how i felt about it instead to react to it, and it made something in my heart stir. He was perfect and I loved him, I really did.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked  gently after about a minute of silence. "How did it go?"

"It went... well." I admitted, nodding slowly and glancing down before looking up in his eyes. "He asked if we could meet again for a coffee but I didn't message him yet. I'm just not sure if I should go."

Dylan's lips curled slightly just as his eyebrows raised. "Not because of me, yea?"

I shrugged both shoulders, feeling suddenly embarrassed. One of the reasons why I was not sure was him, but an other part of me, a part I didn't want to show, was simply scared. I was scared that things wouldn't be like they used to be, I was scared that we wouldn't really get along, I was scared that the old me would resurface and I was scared... I was scared of the feelings I could have again if I spent time with him.

"You can go see him, Liv." he let out softly, bringing one of his hands to my face to caress my cheek with his fingertips. "Not that you were waiting for my approval or that you need it but, I know there's so many things you want to tell him and ask him and... it's normal. I can't even begin to understand the relationship you two had, all I know is... it was intense. There's some part of you that will always love him and I'm fine with that. Just... go. And you'll see."

Slowly, my lips curled as I stared at him. I brought my hand to his hair and slipped my fingers in it before sighing. I felt suddenly lighter and I was not sure why. Perhaps knowing that my boyfriend was fine with it helped.

I mouthed a 'thank you' and he smiled more, shaking his head.

"There's no reason to thank me." he just said, pulling me closer and kissing my lips. "I love you, Olivia."

I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, inhaling him before squeezing him tighter against me. It felt good and I felt safe but I finally pulled away and smiled.

"Okay so food and a movie?" he proposed, raising his eyebrows before I grimaced.

"Oh I wish, I mean food, but i'm gonna have to eat in front of my computer." I explained with a sigh, letting my head fall lightly on my shoulders. "I need to write and my mind is lazy these days."

"Why don't you inspire yourself of what we're going through right now?"

I stared at him and raised my eyebrows at the idea before Dylan just chuckled and winked at me. I knew that to write something good, it had to be close to something I was living, but playing it on screen was about to be a challenge if I did that.

"I'll make food you just... work."

I thanked him and grabbed my phone before sitting in front of my computer. I started typing a few ideas here and there but the truth was, I couldn't stop thinking about Niall. Dylan was right, there were many things I wanted to tell him, many things I wanted to ask. but at the same time, I was well aware that I wouldn't be able to let it out all at the same time. I also knew we had to be in a public place, if only to be sure I wouldn't end up yelling or in tears.

'Coffee tomorrow afternoon, are you free? 🤪’

I didn't want to let Niall make me emotional the way I used to be when we were dating, or even before. He always had so much power over me and I didn't want him to anymore. I didn't want anyone to have to much power over me.

'Always free for you 🥰’

The emoji he picked made my lips curl and I quickly texted him a time and place before putting my phone away. I stared at my work on the screen and sighed to myself. I didn't really want to add Niall to my story, I was too scared of how realistic it would become, since my real boyfriend was already playing my on-screen boyfriend, and I decided to push this idea away.

Dylan came back with a plate of pastas and it made me wonder how long I had spent in front of an almost empty document. He sat to face me and my eyes moved up to him.

"I'm stuck."

"Did you message Niall? Are you gonna see him soon?"

I felt my heart skip a beat at his question but he kept staring at me as he brought the fork to his mouth. The fact that it was super casual for him made me squirm a bit on my seat. Was that a good or a bad thing?

"Yea, tomorrow afternoon."

"Good." he nodded, pushing the plate my way. I sent him a smile and started eating too. "Maybe it'll inspire you."

His eyebrows raised and he chuckled when some sauce landed on my shirt and I quickly tried to wipe it off, making him laugh even more.

"Guess you're gonna have to take it off." he just pointed out.

I looked up at him only to see a smirk gracing his face and I chuckled too, tilting my head. I pushed my plate away and leaned closer to him, sending him an amused smile and keeping my voice low.

"Maybe you should take it off yourself."

[isisparker]

So Episode 8 [of OCN's Search] happened...

First thing’s first: Soo Young was found and here’s hoping the child learns her lesson [probably not]. Also little disappointed Da Jung didn’t get to do much besides look awesome in that uniform. Maybe something will happen in the final two episodes? *fingers crossed* Oh and I do wonder, like I bet the less than ten or so of us in the tags watching this show, if Soo Young will be the next person exposed to the substance.

Speaking of: Okay so I’m glad to be wrong. It’s FOUR that got infected, not three. The Host [aka Ye Rim’s dad, Sang Min] inevitably saved Captain Jo*, who was presumed dead. Sang Min took him to question on his family’s whereabouts, didn’t like the answer he was given, and in an anguished rage unfortunately ended up impaling himself and infecting Captain Jo with his radiated blood. So I was wrong to theorize that Sang Min lived long enough thus why he was more powerful than the other two... However, since Captain Jo became infected with the blood while on the verge of death in addition to decades exposure to that same substance, he possibly has more control over his abilities and maybe a concious?

And since we’re on the subject of Captain Jo, aka CONFIRMED Dong Jin’s dad: From the moment the show started sprinkling hints of Dong Jin questioning who his dad was, I freaking knew that somehow his dad was connected to the '97 DMZ Incident! And wouldn't you know it he was the Captain Jo that cowardly asshole Lee Hyuk literally shot from behind. The fact that the sons of both men have that angst and drama between them when they initially started out on trusting and respectful terms breaks my heart (but OMG am I LIVING for the angst)!

Lee Hyuk needs to die by the end of this series. This episode just highlighted all the shit he has done and will continue doing just to enhance his political and personal goal. As if we needed yet another reminder that politicians like him [Presidential Candidates like him. THANKS FOR BEING TOO ON THE NOSE DRAMA] don’t give a shit about the truth and are looking out for their interest. Also I'm not sorry at all for how he really lost his leg. It's just disappointing the explosion wasn't strong enough to obliterate him there and then.

Can we have Min Kyu somehow manipulate Lee Hyuk and the system to come out on top without it resorting to him being Lee Hyuk's puppet til the bitter end? Like I'm thoroughly enjoying the fact that this dude KNOWS he has to do shady shit and back door dealings to get ahead, but there's a fine line between manipulating the system and being someone's lackey. I have faith that Min Kyu is smarter than that. Or, y'know, he dies because he Icarused himself.

I love Ye Rim pushing back on Min Kyu’s obvious attempt to do Lee Hyuk’s dirty work. She’s not only smart but hella brave to go against a commanding officer of a unit she’s technically an asset for and not a part of. Her reminding him that any jurisdiction he thinks he has towards the substance is actually the KCST’s jurisdistion was certainly music to my ears.

Joon Sung exposing his father's lies probably did at least a couple things: 1. Redeemed him for his temporary betrayal, 2. Put his name high on the list of Most Likely to Die in the last two eps, and 3. Shed light on who Dong Jin's dad was. I didn’t like having to watch Joon Sung betray Dong Jin like he did, but it’s good to know that for such a good guy he definitely is flawed. Definitely gives him character.

Plus, as I mentioned, I am living for the tension and angst between him and Dong Jin. Y’know I started this drama not prepared to be invested in any relationships, just in the characters. IF ANY. Because in this type of genre you should honestly NEVER GET ATTACHED. Anyway, I already knew there’d be at least one designated romance ship as there was one male lead and one female lead and OH LOOK THEY’RE EXES NOW HAVING TO WORK TOGETHER *cue Unresolved Sexual Tension music* I was totally prepared for that to the point of expecting them to reconcile. Heck I was also prepared to watch tension in the form of the scrappy young soldier vs the asshole commanding officer [in this case: Dong Jin vs Min Kyu].... NO ONE PREPARED ME FOR DONG JIN AND JOON SUNG’S RELATIONSHIP. From Joon Sung looking out for Dong Jin, to Dong Jin feeling like he could trust Joon Sung to watch his back, to THAT KNIFE SPARRING [what even, c’mon FANSERVICE THANK YOU], and then the betrayal of the video tape which opened the door to the biggest heartbreak of all: Joon Sung’s father “killing” Dong Jin’s dad and disgracing Dong Jin’s dad’s name! Oh how will these two ever amend from all this? [*cue Noble Sacrifice*]

Oh so yeah, I was right to expect another death. Wasn’t expecting the two shown in this episode but seems on brand for the genre to shed more blood. I’m still anticipating at least one or two more on the body count but hey at least we can cross off Moon Cheul from that list. Poor lucky bastard got taken out of the final inning with that spinal injury.

Aw man next week is the finale week! Good thing too because I don’t know if I could have stand to watch this drama if it was a usual full 16+ episodes like most kdramas are [even though I’m slowly slipping into shipping mode, sorry not sorry?]! It really does make a difference in storytelling if the writers are given a shorter episode order vs longer order. Even though there have been pacing issues and moments of filler that I really could have done without [like, honeslty 65% of the village happenings, even though I GET IT, I get why they humanized the small town folks in order to humanize and amp Da Jung’s character], the writer of this drama kept tight certain elements in order for this train not to derail. Small twists here and there are fine, but only because they make some sense to the story.

Is the plot laughably formularic to most military/thriller/creature feature stories? YES. But that’s part of the enjoyment! Correctly guessing which trope/cliche is part of the fun! And the fact that it doesn’t fight against the tropes usually found in that type of genre is probably why I’ve been a fan since the start. 

*edited because I started rewatching and I realized I got the names of current Leader Song mixed with ‘97 Capt Jo wrong. Gonna go back and edit all my posts with the change. My apologises.

[randomfandomimagine]

We’re Even (John x Reader)

Character: John Wick

Fandom: John Wick

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Assasin!Reader

Title: We’re Even

READ IT ON AO3!

Summary: Y/N his forced to go for John for help despite their complicated relationship. 

 I couldn’t believe I was doing this. Even as I clutched my side, which was gushing blood and threatened to kill me. Even when it was my only option because not even the Continental was a safe place anymore, knowing them to have broken the rules before. Even then, I couldn’t believe I was standing there at the front door.

I rose my arm, my knuckles hovering over the door as I hesitated to knock. Our relationship was too complicated, what if he refused to help me? What if he told me on everyone? Even worse, what if he finished the job? He probably held grudges for what I did, even if I had tried to undo those mistakes.

My frantic train of thought was interrupted when a loud groan escaped my lips as the pain from my gunshot wound suddenly worsened by ten times. My vision became blurry and I limply fell against the door, struggling to stay on my feet and gaping for air.

The soft thud of my body hitting the door brought attention to my presence, as a barking started inside the house. I grit my teeth and straightened up as much as I could, forsaking the support that the door provided me with and instead having to hold my own weight, even if my legs threatened to buckle underneath me.

“What’s wrong?” A voice said from inside the house, causing me to swear under my breath. Footsteps grew closer as I spotted a figure through the glass.

The front door opened just as I noticed I had stained it with a bloody handprint.

“Hey” I breathed out, gulping while I swayed in place. “Long time no see”

There he was, just as I remembered him. Tall and handsome. The same longish black hair that framed his stern brown eyes. His jaw still covered in dark stubble. Same old John Wick. Except for the fact that, unlike the black suit I usually same him wearing, he was now wearing a casual white T-shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants.

I stupidly grinned at the realization that I just saw the Boogeyman in his pijamas. Maybe it was just the blood loss, that was making me delirious.

Noticing John’s silence, I forced myself to say something. My mind worked slowly, but I managed to blurt out some sort of apology to lighten up the mood and hopefully ease his vexation.

“Sorry to disturb your peace and quiet, John” I breathed out, still clutching the bleeding wound in my side. “I didn’t know where else to go” 

“Y/N” John gulped and clenched his jaw. “What happened?” 

I took my time to answer, trying to regain my breath and focusing all my strength in staying conscious. Everything seemed too bright, but I couldn’t tell if it was because all the walls were white and contrasted with the darkness of the night or because of my feverish state.

“Business gone… wrong…” My knees finally buckled, but John was ready and he caught me in his arms before I could hit the floor. 

I frowned, helplessly leaning against his chest and trying to hold on to his shoulders for support. I opened my mouth to speak but found that I had no strength to speak not a single world. John piped up anyhow.

“Are you being followed?” He brought me inside the house and kicked the door so it would close behind him.

“N-No” I managed through grit teeth, now struggling to stay awake. “I made… sure…” 

My strength failed me once more and John decided to completely scoop my form into the safety of his arms. It was a great relief not to have to stand on my own.

I hadn’t noticed there was another presence there, but the barking from before continued as John carried me further into his home. Two pair of paws followed after us as John hurried into the bedroom.

I closed my eyes, tiredly leaning my head against his shoulder. It seemed to somewhat stabilize me and stop everything from spinning around me. Despite our history, I felt incredible safe at that moment, his very presence being like a silent promise that everything would be okay now.

When he gingerly lay me on the bed, the thought that I would get blood everywhere popped up in my head. I was most definitely delirious, worrying about his sheets while I was literally bleeding out.

“Don’t move, I’ll be right back” John squeezed my shoulder before rushing off, allegedly to get a first aid kit. I immediately missed his comforting presence, but was too exhausted to call him back to me.

I got slightly startled when a soft weight fell on the bed and I looked to see the pitbull, cautiously moving closer to me. He whimpered, watching me writhing in pain and groaning, and licked my face. Somewhat endeared at such pure gesture, I smiled, although I softly pushed the animal away.

John returned, his bare feet thumping against the wooden floor. Noticing my eyes were closed in exhaustion, I opened them to see him scattering the contents of the first aid kit across the bed.

Through heavy-lid eyes I watched him move, calm and efficient, as he pushed my hands aside to take a look at my wound. My hand heavily fell on his shoulder, earning a glance and a raised eyebrow from him.

“I… wasn’t sure… if you’d…” My eyes closed again, but I felt him tapping my cheek.

“Hey, stay awake” His deep voice seemed to echo around the room as he broke his silence. “If I’d what?”

It took me a few seconds to figure out he was going back to what I had just said. It was so hard to focus, and sleeping seemed so cozy at that moment. I was so very tired and just wanted the excruciating pain to stop.

“That you would… help me” I breathed out, wincing when he pressed something against my wound that stung like hell.

“Why not?” I tried to find any emotions in his voice –concern, anger, pity, contempt, fear –but it was flat and neutral.

“I tried to kill you” I replied with an attempt of a sarcastic smile.

“And you didn’t” His eyes briefly met with mine, but he quickly resumed his task.

I couldn’t help a chuckle despite my pain and weakness. I still wasn’t sure if that was the right call or if it was a mistake. But if it was the reason why I didn’t get John Wick against me and instead led me to that moment, maybe it was a good decision.

“You were shot?” He suddenly asked me, and it took me a bit again to comprehend the words again.

“I…” I gasped, feeling that speaking was exhausting. “O-Out”

John gave me a nod, and I was glad to see understood what I meant. I shut my eyes tight, though, when I realized that it also meant that he needed to stitch it since I had pulled the bullet out.

“You really meant it then” I hissed when I felt the cold needle piercing my skin. “W-We’re… even” 

“In fact, I owed you one” I could have sworn there was a hint of playfulness in his voice.

“That’s right, I forgot…” My eyes closed themselves once more, and I decided to rest them for a bit. “History repeats itself, huh”

“In this world, it often does” He suddenly sounded so far away, his voice fading out into the void. “Y/N? Shit, stay awake!”

I wanted to do what he said, but I was too comfortable in the painless pit of darkness that was engulfing me.

*

I was surrounded by red. My heart beat quickly, pumping blood so violently that it resonated against my ears. My fingers pulled the trigger, and the sound was so loud that each time it felt like I was hitting a drum, but maybe that was my heart thumping in my chest still. Pure adrenaline traveled through my veins, clouding my thoughts and replacing them with pure instinct and muscle memory. Like an animal, like a predator.

I cringed, tensing up and jolting up at the sound of screaming. It was all I could fathom now. Screaming, gunshots. Fear, pain. Blood.

I gasped, startling myself awake, unable to breathe. I opened my eyes to be received with brown eyes laced with alarm, framed by a curtain of dark hair. I breathed in relief when I recognized his face.

“It’s okay, you’re safe” John whispered softly, even if his hands were tightly wrapped around my wrists. Assuming I jolted awake and squirmed, I lightly tugged at his grip and he released me.

It took me a moment to recall the latest events and understand what happened and where I was, but as soon as I did, a wave of relief washed through me.

“Oh, fuck…” I breathed out, finding myself extremely weak and my head spinning.

“You alright?” He asked, sitting at the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving me.

“Y-Yeah, I think so…” I lifted the hem of my shirt to reveal the bullet wound in my side, now clean and stitched closed. It still throbbed, but at least it wasn’t bleeding anymore.

“I healed your arm too” At first, I frowned at John’s words, but then I remembered that I got stabbed there. Craning my neck to look at the wound in my arm, I saw that it was bandaged too.

I was still full of bruises everywhere, and my face felt a bit swollen near the temple. But I felt much better now that my stab wound and my bullet wound were taken care of. I felt a tightness in my face that told me he covered the cuts in my cheek and eyebrow too.

“Thanks, John” I told him, pouring as much honesty on my words as I could. “Really, thank you”

I watched him carefully, wondering why he allowed me in and even went through all the trouble to treat the wounds for me. Even though I had done the same thing for him once.

“I didn’t mean to bring you into this” I muttered, seeing as he was quiet and refused eye contact now, despite my staring.

“I can handle it” 

“I know you can” 

“Good”

Uncomfortable with his silence, I slowly sat up. I knew John was a man of few words, but I was so puzzled and intrigued by his behavior that I wanted some sort of explanation. A clear sign that he didn’t hold grudges against me, that he didn’t feel obligated to help me and it was a decision based on his opinion on me. On his… feelings.

“Rest” He softly pushed me back against the pillows, placing one strong hand on the side of my head in what I thought was a comforting gesture. “You’re safe here”

I wanted to tell him that I didn’t want to impose, that I was better and I could leave already. That I didn’t want to take up his bed and be an unwanted presence in his house. However, I pursed my lips when I recognized that harshness in his eyes that admitted no argument.

Satisfied when I didn’t try to sit up again, John nodded and stood from the edge of the bed.

“John” I held him by the hand before he could leave. He looked me over his shoulder. “Why did you help me?”

“I told you, I owed you” Any warmth that might have been present in his voice when he told me to rest was now gone. “Now we’re even”

I let out a sarcastic chuckle to hide how much the impact and bluntness of his words hurt.

“So that’s why” I angrily let go of him. “It’s nice to see where we stand”

John turned around, completely facing me, and towered over me. He observed me for a moment, the dark harshness in his glance softening slightly.

“How did this happen?”

“I got confident and cocky” I gulped at the memory of the confrontation. “And kind of angry…”

“You’re better than that”

“No, I’m not”

Another silence settled in the room, and I stirred in the spot until he spoke up again.

“What I meant is…” He averted his eyes for a moment, I couldn’t tell if in annoyance or resignation. However, I did know he pretended he didn’t hear me. “Who did this to you?”

“You don’t want to know” I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh, utterly exhausted. “You’re involved enough already”

“That’s cute” John chuckled, surprising me so much that I opened my eyes to look at him. He bore a sarcastic expression.

I sat up again and supported my weight in my elbow even if my arm was shaking and begging me to lie down again. Despite the icy glare he threw me, I maintained eye contact.

“I know you can handle it, Boogeyman” I poured venom in my words, offended by his patronizing demeanor. “That doesn’t mean I want to drag your ass into something that’s not your fucking business”

His glare only hardened at my words and my tone, but I held his gaze. I expected anger from him, but he just lingered in the tense silence.

Noticing I had used my bad arm to lean on the bed, a strangled grunt of pain tore my throat and I collapsed back on the bed, breathing heavily from that needless effort.

“Rest” John repeated sternly, covering me with a blanket. “I don’t want to see you up”

With that, he walked away, leaving me with the only company of his pitbull, who sat at the feet of the bed. I suppressed the urge to call out for John and ask him to stay with me, to provide me with his protective company. But I doubted he would even glance back at me if I did. And I… I didn’t want him to stay with me anyway.

*

I didn’t know how long it had passed or when did I fall asleep –I didn’t even remember going to sleep, I must have been too exhausted –but when I next awoke, it was almost bright outside. The sun was high, illuminating the room through the glass.

The house was quiet except for the distant sound of oil splattering and dishes clinging. John must have been in the kitchen, so I decided to go and meet with him despite his wishes.

Hoping he wouldn’t lecture me for it, I sat up. I took my time, taking a few deep breaths, to swing my legs over the bed and stand up. I was instantly received with a head rush, and a barking sound close to me informed me of the dog’s concern for my wellbeing when I dangerously swayed.

“I’m okay, buddy” Still recovering from the dizziness, I blindly moved my hand to pet his head. “I’m fine”

Patiently waiting until I felt stable again, I patted my side and my arm to analyze the evolution of my wounds. I was profoundly relieved to find no blood in my palm upon touching them. I hadn’t bled through the bandages.

Following the delicious aroma of eggs and bacon, I headed into the kitchen, where John was just finishing serving the breakfast in two plates. He didn’t look at me, but his shoulders tensed ever so slightly at my presence.

“I told you I didn’t want to see you up” He said, still not making eye contact.

“That’s too bad” I sarcastically replied, subtly eyeing the food. “I have no intention on lying down again”

He turned his head to finally look at me and pursed his lips a little. He leaned both hands on the counter, watching me with an expression I couldn’t quite decipher.

“They’re still after you, and now you’re injured” He paused, almost waiting for me to object. “You can just stay here”

“You already paid your debt” Unable to ignore my groaning stomach, I grabbed two pieces of bacon off the plate for later, earning the smallest of smirks to show up on his face. “Besides, I’m no John Wick, but I can handle it”

That said, I wanted nothing more to do with him. I wanted to stay, I really did, but I wouldn’t. I refused his charity, it made me feel like he was reluctant to help me. Like after all we had been through together, he only saw me as pending business.

I had truly believed that sweet John Wick that comforted me that time was still somewhere in there, that he had a tender side no one knew about and that I had been lucky enough to get a peek of. And when he didn’t think twice to help me, basically saving my life, and healing my wounds and letting me rest in the safety of his home… I thought he was allowing that side of him to shine because of our history. It all crumbled when he said ‘I owed you’, however.

Finding it too painful to meet with his eyes again, I began walking to the front door. Before I could, though, a hand firmly clasped around my upper arm, stopping me in my tracks. John was suddenly very close to me, breathing heavily.

“Don’t do anything stupid, Y/N” Were his only words, he knew I was too stubborn to stay. “You’re better than that”

He spoke slowly, wanting every word to sink in. The intensity of his glance only backed up their importance.

I showed him a sad smile, thinking back to a conversation we once had. He thought he knew me better than anyone, and maybe that was the problem. Maybe that was what bothered me so much, the possibility that he did, that he saw through me.

“Maybe I’m not” I broke free from his grasp, sending him an intense glance in return.

I walked to the door with determination, feeling his eyes burning holes in my nape. I opened it and turned around to look at him one last time. My chest tightened thinking that I might never see John again, but things were too complicated to stay.

“Don’t worry, John” I said, stepping outside. “If I get hurt, I won’t be bothering you again”

He tilted his head to the side in some sort of warning, but I continued talking when he opened his mouth to reply, interrupting him before he could start speaking.

“We’re even now, aren’t we?” I bitterly smiled at him, waving goodbye.

“Y/N…” John clicked his tongue, taking a few steps forward.

I shut the door loudly, already walking away from the house and noticing an emptiness filling my chest.

“Y/N!” I heard him calling me, stubborn, from inside the house. But I was already gone.

EDIT: If you liked this, I’m working on a series based around this imagine, check it out here!

Tag list: @writerandee, @lookinsidemyhead // If you want me to add you to the tag list, go ahead and tell me!    

[thecreelhouse]

Kill the Lights // Chapter 11

Steve Harrington x Original Female Character

Read chapter 10 here!

Summary: After Violet- formally 003, a telekinetic, electrokinetic, and clairvoyant 19 year old- loses her first family, her first love, nothing is the same. She finds herself taken in by Hopper and El, struggling to find her footing and meaning to keep fighting. The Party, especially Steve Harrington, try to show her where her strengths have been hiding all along, and that no one has to fight their battles alone. Sometimes you don’t need to be rescued, but someone’s love and support while you rescue yourself sure doesn’t hurt.

Word count: 2,205

Content warnings: PTSD, anxiety, cursing, violence towards the end

Author’s note: hey y’all, I’m back!! Thanks for the patience while I was away. I hope this part is worth the wait! I don’t wanna say too much and not spoil anything, so I’ll keep it short. Thank you always to anyone who reads this, and feedback/reblogs are always so incredibly appreciated!! Chapter title is a lyric from ‘Blue’ by TBM. Hope y’all enjoy! <3

Chapter 11: Provide the Wrath

After Violet and Steve left the mall and headed back to his house, Violet let her body collapse onto the bed from pure exhaustion. She lost count of the hours she had been awake for- well over a full day, at the very least- and knew she definitely needed the rest.

It didn’t come easily, of course. She tossed and turned the whole night, waking violently from nightmares and these newer visions replaying in her head. After the first few, she tried her best to deal with them alone; Violet hated waking Steve up every hour when she knew he had another long day ahead of him too.

Violet was still exhausted once the alarm clock sounded off, reality and her visions slowly merging together in her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t grasp onto the two to separate them.

“Vi, maybe you should call in sick today.” Steve suggested as he ran around the room getting ready. Violet never understood how he was always so rushed in the morning when he had the same uniform to wear to work every shift.

“No, no way,” Violet argued, voice laced with sleepiness. She shook her head softly, throwing the blankets aside before rolling out of bed. “What if something happens today? What if you guys find out what that code is all about?”

“I could just call you, it’s really okay. If something urgent does happen, you’ll be the first to know, besides Dustin and Robin, obviously.” Steve countered, trying to reassure Violet to put herself first.

“I need the money, though-“

“You work your ass off anymore, you pick up any extra shifts you can, one day won’t hurt. Please, Violet?” Steve urged. Violet bit her lip as she contemplated; she knew Steve was right, that she needed the rest desperately. But she also really could use the money, once she decided to start saving up slowly for a place of her own again. Not that she didn’t appreciate all Hopper and El have done for her, but she wanted to get back on her feet, have her own space again. A place where her and Steve could be alone, without Hopper hovering over them screaming about the same damn “3 inches” rule that neither her nor El cared for. And although Steve’s parents were rarely home, the few times they were weren’t the most pleasant run ins with them.

She wasn’t rushing the process, but she didn’t want to stop saving whatever she could make.

“You’re right.” Violet sighed, rolling her eyes, and Steve instantly looked relieved. “But that’s nothing coffee can’t temporarily fix.”

Steve groaned, throwing his palm to his forehead. “Vi, c’mon-“

“Steve, I’m just gonna go in and see how I feel, alright? If I feel bad still, I’ll come home early to sleep.” Violet offered as a compromise, and Steve’s lips fell into a thin line, sighing from his nose.

“Fine.” He reluctantly agreed. “I just worry about you, that’s all. It’s been a weird few days for you.”

Violet pulled Steve into a hug, “I know. I-“

“Vi, don’t say it yet. Don’t be foolish.” She thought to herself, holding her tongue.

Steve pulled back a little, only to press his forehead against hers. “You what?”

“I’m...” Violet hesitated a bit, her cheeks blushing and as hot as the sun, “really lucky to have someone like you always looking out for me, y’know that?”

Steve gave her that same lopsided, knowing smirk that made her weak in the knees every damn time, “Right back at ya’, Vi.”

———

It had only been three hours (and three strong coffees) into Violet’s shift, and she was beginning to feel like her mind was melting.

“Maybe those few hours of sleep weren’t good enough after all.” Violet whined to herself.

“Violet, I love ya’ sweetie, but I gotta cut you off on the coffee. They ain’t doin’ a damn thing for ya’.” Connie said while walking past the counter with Violet dozing off next to the register. She dropped a stack of posters, probably for some album promotion, right next to Violet’s head on the surface. It was enough to shake her awake, that’s for sure.

“Jesus, Con!”

“You’re a damn mess today, you should go home and sleep.” Connie laughed at Violet’s disheveled state; stray hairs sticking out from her ponytail, yesterday’s makeup still smudged on (who said yesterday’s look couldn’t be today’s smoky eye?), and eyelids fighting to stay open. She definitely needed a nap. Maybe a mini coma.

“I know, I just could really use the money. And I don’t like calling off.” She tiredly groaned, head slowly sinking back to the countertop. Connie’s hand intercepted the attempt and held her head up, pushing it back upright with her palm against Violet’s forehead. “Ugh!”

“Listen kid, I admire the work ethic, but go home. Go rest. You bust your butt enough here, you deserve a break.” Connie said sincerely while still holding Violet’s head up with her hand.

Violet playfully shoved her hand away, standing upright again. “Alright, alright. Let me finish the hour at least, yeah? Then I promise I’ll go home and rest.”

“That’s my gal.” Connie agreed, satisfied. “Let me know if you want to leave earlier, okay? Or if you need to sit in the back-“

“I’m fine, Connie. Thank you. Seriously.” Violet reassured her, and Connie flip-flopped her hand with a smile at Violet’s persistent attitude before heading back across the store with her stack of posters.

Violet kept herself busy with reorganizing the displays close to the register when there were no customers. Time began to fly in her last hour, and soon before she knew it, it was 5 of, and her body was more than ready to sleep as long as she could.

“Violet!”

Violet turned to the entrance, seeing Max and El waltzing in with shopping bags on their arms and ice cream cones in hand. She sleepily smiled at them, “Hi Max, hi El-“, before doing a double take so intense it might have broken her neck.

“Eleven?!” Violet hissed, eyes darting between the two younger girls. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Hangin’ out with Max. Having a girls’ day!” El happily replied, and Max nodded, beaming.

“El, you know you’re not supposed to be here, you’re not supposed to be anywhere this crowded.” Violet whisper-yelled, trying to get the severity of the situation through to the girls. Unbothered, they both shrugged, continuing to enjoy their almost finished ice cream.

“It’s okay, we’ve been safe-“

“I know that, but if Hopper finds out, he’ll be so pissed.” Violet urged, and shoved her hands against her face, running them down her skin. “He’s gonna be pissed at me too. God. Did Harrington give you those cones?! I’m gonna kick his ass, he knows better, he knows you shouldn’t be-“

“Violet, it’s okay. I promise.” El dropped her bags, and used her free hand to grab one of Violet’s to squeeze gently, bringing her back from the panic. “I won’t say anything to him, and if he does find out, it’s my fault.”

“El’s a changed woman today!” Max cheered. “See, I told you how much fun it could be hanging with friends that aren’t boys.”

“Max, I should be mad at you too-“ Violet started, stepping back to cross her arms. Max’s smile dropped. “- but you’re not wrong. And I trust you, especially if El trusts you.”

Max’s smile lit back up again. “I just want El to know it’s okay to be friends with people other than just icky boyfriends.”

Violet smiled back, ruffling her hair gently. “You’re a good pal, Max.” She turned to El, “Just head home soon, alright? I’m leaving early to try and sleep longer, I had those weird dreams again.”

El’s face flopped into a frown at Violet’s words. “Okay. We’ll go home soon. We’re having a sleepover later, if you’re up for it.”

“Sure thing, kiddo. It sounds like a perfect way to shake these blues.” Violet pulled El into a hug. “I’ll see you two later, okay? Stay out of trouble!”

El and Max nodded before waving goodbye and skipping back out into the rest of the mall. Violet sighed, shaking her head. At least she was breaking the rules for good reason, and Violet wasn’t against that.

Violet clocked out shortly after, and headed into the back hallway, down to the door for Scoops Ahoy before knocking on it lightly. A few seconds passed before the door swung open and a hand pulled Violet in by the arm.

“Jesus, I’m not awake enough for this.” Violet whined, seeing that Steve was the one who quite literally dragged her in.

“Sorry, babe, but that was great timing. I was just about to come over and get you- we have some ideas-“

“I’m thrilled, and honestly intrigued, but you were right, I need sleep.” Violet said. “I just wanted to stop by to let you know I’m leaving early.”

Steve sighed relief, “Oh thank god, about damn time. Will you be okay to drive?”

Violet nodded, sleepily, but still a response. “Yeah, I’m just gonna crash at your place for a few hours if that’s alright? It’s a lot closer than the cabin.”

“Sure thing, Vi.” He agreed before pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. “I’ll just fill you in at home, okay? Go get some rest, and call me if you need alright?”

Violet nodded once more, smiling and squeezing his hand before stepping back out into the hallway. He watched her walk down the hall, genuinely relieved Violet was putting herself first when she needed it most. Steve closed the door to the back room as he watched Violet round the corner.

What Steve didn’t see were the lights flickering, like the day before when Violet was in the hallway. He didn’t see how the quick punches of darkness hid something- someone- allowing them to sneak up on Violet with ease. He didn’t hear the way Violet gasped, shocked, and the scream that almost echoed the hallway before a hand clamped her mouth shut. He didn’t hear the way her skull made a sickening cracking noise as she was shoved against the wall, and was painfully unaware how quickly darkness engulfed her as she passed out before being dragged away, without a trace.

———

Fading in and out of consciousness, Violet’s body felt detached from reality. Her eyes struggled to flutter open, and when they did, she wished she kept them shut.

Blue, blue, blue, flashes of blue sharply cut through the space above her. The static of the electricity sent the hairs on her arms to stand stick straight. A violent shiver shook down her spine as she struggled to sit up. Her body felt too heavy, she felt too weak to lift herself. A few more pulls against gravity let realization sink in; she was stuck. Strapped down against cold, cruel metal.

Panic followed the realization, her eyes shifted wildly about her surroundings, trying to adjust and focus.

“Where the fuck am I?” She thought anxiously. “This can’t be the lab... right?”

Industrial sized lights overhead powered on with a low whine, and Violet felt exposed to the unknown room. The blur from her sleep fell from her vision as she tried taking in her surroundings once more.

Massive machinery filled the room around her with too many buttons to press and far too many lights to focus on just one. As she tried to gather ideas on where she was, several men in uniform crowded around her. Some of them had guns, one had a terrifyingly sharp syringe.

One in particular walked up to her, grabbing her chin to make her eyes meet his. The man wore a grin that held no safety, no good intentions in sight. Violet scowled as he began barking orders in a foreign language, one Violet quickly assumed was the only one the group had been analyzing for days- Russian.

“Let me go.” Violet spat through her gritted teeth, struggling against the restraints holding her down. The man’s grin only grew more sinister at her anger.

“Ah, she speaks.” He said, laughing in her face, Russian accent thick among his English words. “Nyet, malyshka. We’ve got big plans for you right here.”

Before Violet could channel her rage into a quick snap of the neck or a deadly shock to this man, the other man with the syringe stepped forward and plunged the sharp metal into the base of her neck, where it met her shoulder. Violet screamed and kicked as far as the restraints gave way before almost instantaneously falling calm. Her eyes blurred back, but not with darkness this time. Almost like she was watching through someone else’s view.

The men walked off and the lights fell dark again, leaving Violet alone, trapped, with whatever chemicals they forced flowing through her veins. Panic began to crawl under her skin, shaking fear through her entire being. Only a second passed before a blinding, electric blue light felt as if it ripped through her body, causing her to scream until darkness fell fast over her once more.