#stuff i can draw in class and nobody gonna be on my ass for it!!!!

[is-it-bussin-hannibal]

here’s a little treat, my freaks!!!

[skrunksthatwunk]

been cleaning my dorm for like 4 hours and it somehow does not feel like it has amounted to anything

[dballzposting]

okay my brain isn't fully turned on and I have more to say on this subject that won't come out of my brain rn but ive been thinking about this for days and i need to share

I think trunks is like. he watches culturally important films, or like cult classics, a lot bc he feels it is a good way to expand his worldview or like just become more cultured. but by and large he does not like them.

oh for sure there's some he enjoyed. And there's a few where he's like 'Well, I didn't enjoy it, but i definitely think it was a good film. Just not my thing.'

meanwhile goten does not seek them out at all. he could not care less. BUT if Trunks is watching one when Goten wants to hang out, he'll sit his ass down and watch! He's not passing up a free fancy people movie!

And almost every time he REALLY likes it. And after every single one he goes on for like 30 minutes about Themes and Symbolism before interrupting himself to see if trunks wants to go get milkshakes.

and then after they get shakes trunks has to spend the night thinking about it. Why does goten seem to Get things so easily? Why does understanding worldviews he doesn't necessarily agree with come so naturally to Goten, when Trunks is actively trying?

Why won't Goten stop asking to see the movie where a disembodied head bites a girl in the butt (Hausu)??? Why does he think that's so funny????????????

PART 2: (Copy & pasted just to keep it all in one place)

okay i think i figured out the rest of what i wanted to say re: goten and trunks cultural movie bonanza as an example it's not like goten knows what chiaroscuro is. but he DOES notice and enjoy how filmmakers use lighting to draw the eye to or away from stuff. He picks up on the little clues. and once he starts watching enough of a certain genre he likes noticing how so-and-so film stands against the others. it's like i spy to him. and he likes hearing what a film has to say, under its layers. trunks talks like that sometimes, when he's doing business stuff. it's all code. it's mental stimulation but Trunks is like UGH nobody has said anything for FIVE MINUTES can we PLEASE move the plot along. this is like a BUSINESS MEETING tbh. and it's not like he doesn't get the plot or, once he's taken a film class, the meaning of certain techniques. he just can't bring himself to care. AND THE MAN JUST WON'T LEARN HIS LESSON AND HE KEEPS WATCHING THESE DAMN FILMS. also Goten like. he doesn't know these movies. his parents don't fucking watch movies. i mean maybe chichi watches like. romance and martial arts movies probably. he probably likes to compare himself to crouching tiger hidden dragon. so he DOESN'T know what to expect!!! when trunks is like 'hey im gonna watch Citizen Kane or Vanishing Point or Deliverance' or whatever and goten says NEAT i would like to watch also and trunks is like 'I know. that's why i told you. come over around 4 okay' and so goten doesn't have any sort of knowledge of these movies! it's exciting!!! bc the movies he saw growing up were his moms movies about kissing and punching and then whatever trunks took him to see in theatres. so like action and comedy and some horror. so it's new! it's fun! even when he doesn't really like the movie he's like 'well im glad i got to experience this new thing with my best buddy Trunks' ALSO they watched Eraserhead once and goten sat there afterwards on the floor (he likes to sit on the floor) for like ten minutes chewing his lips before turning to trunks and saying something to the effect of 'Trunks. I'm worried about what kind of father you're going to be.' and trunks just sort of. sat there. and looked goten in the eyes for a while. bc he didn't have a response. okay i think i got it all out of my system thank you for your time (i have been making my way through my movie bucket list so this is very strongly on my mind)

TL;DR: Trunks watches classic and high-rated movies becasue he thinks that he's an intellectual / because he's interested in increasing his cultural/artistic literacy & expanding his worldview. But he doesn't really enjoy most of them. And it is Goten who actually is able to see through to the heart of the film, exercise deep empathy, and reap delight at the tactics of storytelling unique to the medium. He's like WOOOAH SO COOL & MEANINGFUL .. (offers a critical analysis perfectly, that is sensitive and insightful). And Trunks is like wtf .... (stays awake at night pondering his deficits.)

DBALLZ COMMENTARY:

I WANT TO BE GOTEN ...

From what I'm gathering he A.) Has the capacity to UNDERSTAND what he's seeing B.) Has the capacity to ANALYZE/INTERPRET what he's seeing C.) Has the heart to EXPERIENCE the movie in full and D.) Has the faculty to ARTICULATE/VERBALIZE what he's experiencing.

Goten no doubt is lacking a lot of cultural and artistic context, but he makes up for it with his observant eye, and then over time what he gathers from one movie transfers to the next and he's able to feel even more moved and offer even more insight ....

It's because his heart is open .. Trunks is trying too hard without realizing it. And you can't have an open heart when there is inner pain that you're not aware of. That's what I think about Trunks .... his trying to be someone he's not (a movie-savvy type of guy) is entirely self-removed without intending to be... He thinks it's self-improvement but really he's being entirely daft to what intrigues his mind and what would really facilitate his growth. And he can't be open-minded toward others if he can't be open-minded with himself.

But the format of movies I guess really works for Goten, they're not usually longer than two hours and they're faster paced than say a novel and they're colorful and they have a lot of movement and the mode of drama-deliverance is altogether captivating for him .... They can communicate a lot with a few small visual or auditory details and Goten is hip to just picking up on those, because he's genuinely engaged and enjoying himself.

But Trunks has elected to adopt this hobby on an intellectual principle. But all the rest of him is like ehhhh whatyever. He probably likes sitting and chilling and eating popcorn. But there's a lot he's not into. It's just not his medium. Just doesn't work for him

I also think that part of it is that Goten notices a lot of things just because they are new to him. Trunks has been watching movies his whole life. Menahwile Goten has been only watching the movies of LIFE ... The lighting of the sun and the pacing of the seasons <3 Also Ponyo

So the whole thing is new and he's like "WOOOOAH .. SO COOL HOW the camera was so high in that shot so that it made me feel tall..... really shows you how small the character feels..." And Trunks just like Didnt notice that

Also trunks just DOESNT CARE !!!! But he doesnt know that he doesnt care. SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like this part regarding Goten: "He picks up on the little clues. and once he starts watching enough of a certain genre he likes noticing how so-and-so film stands against the others. it's like i spy to him. and he likes hearing what a film has to say, under its layers. trunks talks like that sometimes, when he's doing business stuff. it's all code. it's mental stimulation"

Thats such a way to put it .... Goten is being such a genius rn. He would liken it to the mysterious business-speech. IT'S ALL CODE. IT'S MENTAL STIMULATION.

I don't know any of these movies but I do agree that Goten would sit for 10 minutes and then say that to Trunks ... It's like him to assume that Trunks would be a father one day becasue that's just natural to him that's just life.

When this all started I think that Trunks was like "You sure you wanna watch this with me? It's not like Kung-Fu Panda or anything."

And Goten said "Are you kidding? I LOVE your movies. They're like delicate poetry being told through the form of telenovelas."

Becasue the only life-action TV Goten had been exposed to before was his mother's telenovelas.

I don't really agree with this next part but it's obligatory.

Goten would pick up that Trunks isn't enjoying the movies as much as Goten is, before Trunks even gives proper acknowledgment to his boredom. Trunks just keeps watching them and Goten respects that and doesn't think about it much, but eventually it must be pointed out that hey, Trunks isn't getting as much out of these as Goten is.

Maybe he keeps inviting Goten over so that Goten can tell him what the movie is about. That would make sense. But really I think that Trunks just likes to chill out with him.

But the way that Goten woiuld crunch the numbers in his head (if he's ever removed enough from the movie to ponder) (maybe during a pee break or something) is "He doesnt like the movies. He keeps watching the movies. He keeps inviting me to watch the movies. He doesnt like the movies. But he always invites me. Why do people watch movies with somebody if they don't like the movies? As an excuse to be with them. He just wants to hang out with me."

But he would take it too far and he would fall on the couch next to Trunks and start kissing on him sweetly and when Trunks goes like WHAT Goten says "you dont even like the movies. You just want to hang out with me and eat popcorn."

And the most self-awareness that Trunks had exercised about this whole thing was when he was wondering why he sucked such shit at watching movies compared to Goten. He never really thought about WHY he was doing this to begin with. And so he's doing some hard calculations in his head meanwhile Goten nuzzles him like a pigeon

[rustycottoncandy]

Well today was fucking weird.

I knew that we were going to enter school an hour late (9:00am instead of 8:00am) because our first class's teacher was sick. Despite that, something in my stupid ass brain told me to set an alarm at 4:30am so that I could "have time to shower and have breakfast calmly". Because everybody knows that you need to have five hours ahead of you in order to take a ten-minute shower and eat a tiny waffle. Mhm.

So I woke up to my 4:00am alarm, and then to my 4:30am alarm, and had to have an internal monologue to convince myself that I was going to be fine if I got up at 5:00am instead of 4:00am-4:30am.

So I get up to another alarm at 5:00am, have breakfast, shower, and go back to sleep at like 6:20-something am. Truly an admirable morning routine.

I get up again at 7:10-something am, get ready for school, wait for 8:48am and leave.

Then I head to French, where I'm told that we're gonna have a meeting in anotherrrr room to talk about the accident and that everybody that was involved in it must go. So I leave my things in class and head to the meeting. And we spend like an hour or an hour and a half letting other people express their feelings and about how they lived the accident - and I don't say anything. I don't intervene, because I would rather talk privately about the way I feel about it. About how weird it feels to not have my life in my own hands anymore and more personal stuff. So I wait until the meeting is over and ask if I can talk with a counselor after the meeting. And one of them says that I can, that she'll come to take me out of class after recess, so in like an hour and a half. I hoped to talk about how I felt just a little after the meeting, but nah uh, gotta wait. Which fucks with me a lot, but I understand that they've just got better things to do.

So I head to back French class but a-oop. There's other people in the room now. Cause apparently we're in the next hour? So I knock on the door to ask if I can come inside and get my stuff. Twice. Nobody answers. Great. I'm empty-handed now.

I sit down in front of my next class cause I don't want to come inside out of nowhere or something, and find some of the students that were in the meeting in the hallways close by. So I join them. They run up and down, hide, run again-- they kinda just have fun and skip class together. I end up sepparating with them to ensure that I won't get in trouble and sit in a lil space in front of my next class's classroom again. One of the girls from the group from before walks up to me and asks me for book reccommendations. I reccommend Radio Silence and Solitaire to her, both by Alice Oseman. She thanks me and leaves.

A classmate comes out of my classroom, finds me, and takes me inside. The teacher we had at this hour was the same one we had during the first hour, so we're just wasting time. I wanna read but my stuff is still in the room where we take French, so I ask a classmate if I can build a tower with the supplies in his pencilcase and he allows me to. Then another classmate gives me a paper. I draw a little and recess comes.

I go and get my stuff and spend recess at the library.

English comes. We take a sort of exam and then kinda just waste time. I write a rude comment on the exam talking about how a part of it is useless and makes very little to no sense. I shouldn't have done that.

The counselor does not come to get me.

When the class ends, my English teacher asks me if I'm alright. I am not. I am stressed because the counselor hasn't come, when she said that she was going to. I'm afraid that she might've forgotten that she said we'd speak and I want to go home. She offers to take me to the counselor, which I decline at first because I think that doing so might be disrispectful, but she insist, and I end up accepting.

We leave my stuff in Art because I'm supposed to be in Art. I cry. My teacher takes me to the counselor. I want to cry.

The counselor tells me to wait and the Languages Deppartment(??? Departamento de Lenguas) offers to let me wait in their office for when the counselor is free. I'm stressed. I go to the bathroom, cry, and come back. My French teacher is there. She gives me a tiny book written in simple French. I finish it really quick. I keep generating tears and wiping them from my eyes. I want to go home. At some point, I end up just looking around and listening to the teachers' conversation behind me because I've got nothing else to do.

The counselor comes after what feels like an eternity and I cry at her office and talk to her. She says that I should let myself talk to other people about myself more often. Alas, if only my brain didn't take that as something extremely rude to do.

The counselor allows me to spend the last hour at the library, which has happened about twice before. Both times, I've taken the same book from there, Xarxes, by Eloy Moreno (I remembered to look for the author's name this time), and continue reading from where I left it last time.

Then, boom, school ends. I get my stuff and go home. It feels like I haven't done a single thing, because I haven't. It also feels like it's been an entire day and I'm fucking exhausted.

I get home, eat and sleep. Then my mom wakes me up because I've got therapy. I get ready, sleep some more, and we go to therapy.

And the session sucks. My therapist gives more importance to the fact that I wanted to wake up at 4:00am than to my fucking feelings - which are THE ONE THING I'm supposed to talk about - and insists that I take melatonin drops to sleep again. I kinda want to insult her, but I don't, because that's rude.

I feel like she didn't even listen to me. I've got no trouble going to sleep. It's easy. I'm good at falling asleep lately, becuase I'm tired lately. And I'm not tired because I can't sleep, but because my brain is fucking stupid and tells me to wake up at times during which even roosters are asleep.

Something that makes this twice as funny is that this is the same therapist who refused to give me antidepressants at a time during which I really needed them - because fantasizing about your own suicide is obviously way better than waking up unnecessarily early.

I'm gonna have to wait two weeks for the next session and I fucking bet the first thing she's going to ask me is whether or not I've been taking melatonin. Because fuck my feelings, am I right? So let's vent on a fucking TUMBLR post instead of talking to my gosh darn therapist. :)

I lowkey want to stay home tomorrow. I don't have a justification to do so but I don't wanna go to school. I'd been trying to distract myself a little bit about the accident, but now I've spent another day centered on it alone, and bam, I'm back to thinking about it! Thanks, school! Which is okay, I guess? But it puts me in a shitty mood, and shitty moods are, well, shitty. So tomorrow, we'll talk about it again. Well, not me, other people. I'll have to listen to other people talk about the way they feel about the accident while keeping my mouth shut. There's also a high chance that my English teacher will call me out for the mean comment on her exam and I do not want to have that chat. I'll ask my mom if I can stay home tomorrow.

Hey I was writing this and my dad entered my room to talk with me and I feel somewhat better. We didn't really talk about the way I feel about it though but about my day in general, about how stupid my therapist was for telling me to take melatonin again, and about what antidepressants do to the user's brain. It was nice. I love my dad.

[koselz]

Extracurricular stuff, who does it?

Hey! Totally random thought, but, hey! That's what this blog's about!

I am currently watching some extracurricular stuff in the programming course I'm doing, just because I have no videos in my "Watch later" playlist on YouTube to watch. The extracurricular stuff is SO useless, it has literally nothing to do with programming, it's more of a self-discovery sort of thing? Like there's literally an extracurricular thing that teaches you about Empathy. Totally useless, I'm tryna learn programming in here.

I could totally just pretend I read those and just skip those, like, this course is one of the most famous courses in my country I think, they DO NOT care about me at all. NOBODY in this place knows I exist. I could literally just skip all that. But I guess I'm paying for the course, so I'm not just gonna skip it, and since I have nothing to do anyways, oh well! Maybe I can even learn a thing or two, huh?

Thing is, in this extracurricular thingy there are a buncha things to do. Watch podcasts, watch videos, read a buncha texts, do some quizzes. And I'm like...

Okay, I'm gonna watch your podcasts and your videos, I'm not gonna pay attention to them, I'm gonna watch and listen to them while I draw or play games, like I do with any other podcast or video! I'm not THAT lazy that I can't watch a damn video. I'm also like, okay, I'm gonna read your texts! Why not? I'm gonna read them superfast, tho, like, skimming fast! I'm just batting an eye and going to the next page. Doing quizzes, fine, I guess I have to. It's cool, man!

But also, like, in this course, there's literally a FIVE EPISODE MINI SERIES ABOUT WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS!!! I'M LIKE, WHAT? I'M NOT GONNA WATCH THAT, SKIIIIP!!!! And also, there are a bunch of crazy ass exercises to do like, ask for someone's old pictures with no context and write down what you think the context is. Or, write lists of things you think you're good at and bad at and then print it out and use it as inspiration.

Like, whenever I find some interest in the exercises AND THEY'RE SIMPLE, I do it no prob, 'cuz why not? LIKE, I'M NOT GONNA DO THE PICTURES ONE, BRO, but just typing a list? Fine, why not. So yeah, I do those, but very poorly and very fast and super quick, and I skip the ones that are completely stupid, but now that was just context, here's my actual question!

Is there anyone who actually does ALL that? Is there anyone with enough free time that they pause whatever they're doing, read through all extracurricular stuff, do each exercise with all the loving care in the world, watch everything paying close attention and actually do EVERYTHING? If so, I really applaud this person. UNIRONICALLY! Like, this is very interesting, this person will actually probably learn a bunch about themselves? If they actually do the exercises and try to improve their lives according to it? I really hope someone like this exists, if you do, you're making the life of whoever spent time writing and conceptualizing all this stuff 1% more worth it, and I appreciate you for doing that, I couldn't!

Y'know, I actually always asked myself that about like, in school books, there's always those extra activities that are like "Go to two friends write a list of things you guys like, discuss that with the class!" like, I don't remember if I EVER did that. Prolly not, would it make the exercises in school stick better on my mind? Prolly! Oh well!

Anyways, that's it, I just always wondered that. Listen, I prolly also am the only one even skimming through all this buzz! I read some fellas in the course's students group chat saying they just skipped everything and marked everything as done even tho they didn't even read nothing, whooops. I don't care man. Imma keep watching those things if I have the free time to do it. WHY NOT?

That's it, I thought this post was gonna be smaller but I guess I had way more to talk about it. YAY! I LOVE POURING MY THOUGHTS OUT! IT'S ACTUALLY SO FUN!

[starpaths-writing]

Author’s Note for “known, unknown”

Summary: Seokmin and Mingyu used to date. Which apparently means they can't go back to how they were before, to Mingyu’s frustration.

Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63117052

Wanted to write a longer author’s note/end note re: my brainstorming/concepts for this fic… Usually I would just put it in the fic end notes but then it would be 2 fics in 1 because I don’t know how to stop talking… In order, I’m gonna cover [1] stuff that was actually IN the fic and then [2] my earlier ideas for this fic that never made it into the final piece :)

[1]

College Setting

I don’t have personal experience with schooling in Korea (if it wasn’t incredibly obvious already) so I heavily relied on Reddit posts talking about the college experience/language in SK and, honestly, just modeled the setting after SNU specifically. Why SNU specifically, sorry I don’t have a reason why, I could have just used any of the other big 3 tbh.

The departments and classes mentioned in the fic are ones on SNU’s undergrad website… the “Comm Eff” class DK and Hoshi run off to is “Studies in Communication Effect” in the Dept of Communication, which I shortened because nobody is referring to classes by their full title if it's that long

If you search “SNU korea sweater” on a search engine, you can probably find the uni sweater I was thinking of for this fic :)

The SNU departments I had in mind for each member mentioned in-fic:

Mg – Architectural Engineering. Could also be double-majoring in International Relations?

DK – Education

Hs – double-majoring in Political Science + Business Administration

Sk – Communication

Dn – undeclared, but leaning towards Social Welfare

The enlistment schedule in this fic was one I made specifically to get certain members to be attending uni at the same time for another skgy/gyky story (which is likely never going to be finished tbh) while also matching what I felt the members might do if they enlisted at the usual age, so I just pulled it again for this fic… If anyone’s curious,

Enlist before starting college: Sc, Ww, Wz, Dn

Enlist after 1 yr: Jh, Hs, DK, Sk, Vn

Enlist after 2 yrs: Mg

Js, Jn, & Mh are not included obviously (either does college not in SK or does the 4 years straight through if they study in SK)

With the above schedule, if I did it correctly, then I am able to get everyone from Hoshi and younger (except for Mh) attending uni the same year. 

Perfumes

I am not a perfume/fragrance person, so I truly felt like this ProZD video researching it. No hate at all, but I just never thought about smells like that before and I am interested in reading/smelling more now !! 

Anyway … shout out to the following references for DK’s perfumes !!!!

https://x.com/kyeomties/status/1672667438343757825?s=20 (ref of DK’s perfumes given along with prompt)

https://x.com/kyeomties/status/1796880782276825323 

https://x.com/KEYMRICH/status/1825517143045312999

https://x.com/dokyeom_closet/status/1825449780509872287

https://x.com/mistbornx/status/1826002195453718742

Using the above refs, I genuinely spent days trying to figure out what perfumes I wanted to have DK use in this fic… thank you to Fragrancia and the r/fragrances subreddit for saving my ASS because I cannot describe scents/smells to save my life esp since I have also never actually smelled any of these IRL or was not aware of it if I have……. 

Anyway, below were the options I hopped between. Also I will note in advance I do vaguely discuss my usage of gender conformity/stereotypes, which I feel play a role in AUs where these men may not have as much room to explore gender expression or thoughts.

Le Labo Another 13 – I’ve seen this one around prior to this fic, I think it’s a perfume DK recently revealed he uses? Basically supposedly it’s a “skin perfume” so it draws out one’s personal scent (??)... so either a pre-breakup familiar scent or a post-breakup unique scent. However, the descriptions of this on Reddit did not sound appealing to me (even though most said it smells good IRL albeit needing to get used to at first) and ultimately I do not think college AU DK would be willing to try this one based on the descriptions… I can see idol DK being into this one but I think college AU DK would want to go for a “safer”, universally-liked scent

Byredo Bal d’Afrique – A Reddit comment described this one as “nice on days you want to feel really clean. Like a vibrant, productive person… who has their shit together” which would be good for post-breakup DK’s fronting. I actually don’t remember why I didn’t choose this one, likely because I wanted more of a “sexier” scent to “seduce” Mg

Kilian Playing with the Devil – I really wanted to use this one because of the name and how it would fit into the fic plot (exes getting back together), but 2 reasons why I decided against it: (1) the Fragrancia website labelled it as a women’s perfume. I think the Kilian website did list it as a unisex perfume but I feel like college AU DK would prefer a perfume advertised for men as a man; (2) It feels like this perfume would be worn for date night or something, not an everyday perfume (for someone identifying with conventional masc traits) or casual drinking

Kilian Moonlight in Heaven – the signature skgy/gyky perfume since both of them explicitly stated using it…… I think I didn’t choose this one because DK himself described it as “light, sweet, and romantic” which is not the vibe I wanted. Also if I'm using it for pre-breakup, it's p expensive for a college student who doesn't have much experience with fragrances before LOL, but most high-quality/brand perfumes are expensive I feel (never have actually bought one myself, I wasn't joking when I said I'm not a perfume person)

Ralph Lauren Ralph’s Club Parfum – masculine and sexy based on the positive descriptions. However, based on comments and DK himself, I didn’t feel like this was an everyday/casual-drinking kind of perfume.

Demeter Fragrance Baby Powder (example for DK’s supposed baby powder fragrance) – the pre-breakup perfume DK used. I chose this as the pre perfume because I feel like it’s generally an inoffensive scent and fits the refreshing image I tend to associate DK with. Also I believe it’s like the cheapest perfume in this list?

Dior Sauvage – THE post-breakup perfume that DK is wearing in the fic. I chose this one because (1) universal appeal which would appeal to college AU DK imo, (2) most comments said people (especially average people without strong fragrance knowledge) found it an attractive scent, (3) feels like a scent one can wear everyday and at casual social events, and (4) needed to be distinctly different from his pre-breakup perfume.

Non-Svt Idol Appearances

I don’t usually include non-Svt people based on the fact I actually don’t really follow any other Kpop group like I do Svt, but I had to pull some others in this time because with the enlistment schedule, there was no way I could get Svt members filling in for all roles… I did watch some edits and interviews of the folks below so hopefully I managed to capture their characters somewhat… if not, then uh they’re just OCs who coincidentally share the same names as idols……

Tbf, the choir club members could’ve just been OCs, but I have a weird personal thing where I don’t like putting OCs in fanfics… I was running up against the fic submission deadline by this point so honestly I did not do a lot of research for those two, I’m sorry…… I didn’t want to name-drop because of that but it just felt awkward to never refer to them by name plus it would make Mg seem like a jerk for not bothering to learn their names

Jungkook (BTS) – it’s funny to write his name as “Jeongkook” in this fic because I do use the common stylization normally, but I have to get all my Korean romanizations to match up…

Doyoung (NCT) – for the club member sitting next to DK, I wanted an upperclassman, so I was searching for Kpop idols known for singing… and this was the first guy I managed to find who was not born in the early 1990s or 1997 LOL

Park Jihoon (Wanna One) – I wanted the club member sitting across from Mg to be an underclassman, and when I found out his YOB was 1999 I was like “alright, in you go”. I personally have a soft spot of sorts for this guy because right before I got into Svt, I was into the TV show adaptation of Weak Hero Class 1, and I was SHOCKED to find out the guy playing the main actually used to be an idol who had a cutesy persona… I honestly don’t know if he would join the choir in a college setting but I mean would Sk (could have joined a sports team) or DK (could have joined the archery club, and yes while I'm here I’m gonna plug the renowned college AU fic of weightlifter Mg x archer DK in the off chance you have not read it)? It’s all fiction

If you’re still reading, thank you very much for your interest !!! I really appreciate you reading my fic AND another essay of notes, and please feel free to provide any constructive criticism or thoughts on ao3 or here on tumblr if you want! The rest of this post will cover the brainstorming/initial ideas for this fic so if you’re not interested in that, feel free to exit :)

//

[2]

So I did consider this prompt during round 1 of dkfest, but I ultimately chose another prompt because I didn’t have enough of a plot idea for this at the time :( (yes I am going to self-advertise, if you want to read my round 1 fic it’s here ;) It is 16k words though so if you have time to spare…)

The initial ideas I had for this prompt were more in line with what I think the prompter wanted – a canon compliant fic where DK suddenly decides to rob Mg’s closet and Mg is horny-grip-meme over it. Snippet from that idea below from July 2024 since I likely won’t ever finish this idea:

"You always look good in my clothes, Dokyeom-ah."

Seungkwan's head snapped to him so fast Mingyu was vaguely concerned he had given himself whiplash. Seokmin grinned at Mingyu, either not noticing or ignoring Seungkwan's reaction.

"Then give me all your clothes!" Seokmin declared. With sleeves hanging past his palms, he put his hands on his cheeks, framing his face in a cutesy way. "That way, I can have a bigger closet without having to buy new clothes! Shua-hyung has really been on my case recently."

Mingyu was a weak man. So weak, he really contemplated allowing Seokmin free access to his closet whenever he wanted, free range to take and never give back. But Seungkwan's bugging eyes reminded him that he did have some strength left in him.

"Don't you want your clothes to fit, though?" Mingyu asked. "Most of my clothes look too big for you." 

Ultimately, I never continued with this because I couldn’t figure out an actual overarching plot. So when I returned to this prompt in December and was reviewing the proposed themes… I decided I was going to do… an omegaverse fic………….. Basically it was beta DK stealing alpha Mg’s clothes, Mg taking his clothes back, Mg smelling DK’s pheromones for the 1st time from his clothes (DK wears scent blockers like 24/7) and being really intrigued by it, and the ending is them hooking up post-flirting at a house party or class outing. Basically the thing I wanted to focus on was DK hiding his scent but Mg finds it out and is like seduced by it in a sense? To be honest, not a very engaging fic (to me) in retrospect, AND I felt I was taking the easy way out re: the scents because I KNOW I'm weak in writing that. I also decided not to do it because I have published 2 omegaverse fics already and I do not really want to become an omegaverse fic writer slash publish another one relatively soon after that 2nd one… 

So I went back to the drawing board AFTER I had already claimed the prompt (I still did want to write a fic about the clothes-stealing & Mg liking DK’s scent/fragrances)... and landed on the idea of a non-omegaverse college AU where they are currently exes but not really over each other. I don't prefer to do stories where the main pair are exes (I'm very vanilla), so I don't have much writing experience with this trope :)

(I will also give a shout out to this chanboo exes fic because I did read it around the time I was course-correcting; I genuinely did not have this fic in mind when I was redoing my plot but I was likely unconsciously inspired by it. Anyway, it’s an excellent fic and boochan/chanboo fans should read it)

OKAY, and I’m done now! Thank you again for reading my fic, and for being interested enough to read through this entire post :) Hopefully you found something in here interesting!!

[zawasdarkcirclez]

How Bakusquad Asks You to Prom

Mina Ashido:

-Mina’s definitely got something really pretty planned

-She’s most likely a little dressed up with a cute little dress on

-This is all taking place in the common area

-Everybody besides you knew what was happening and were hiding in the corners of the room and against the wall

-Aizawa was even there claiming that he felt most comfortable if there was a teacher and adult present with all of these candles burning Mina, Denki, and Sero filled him in one day when he was trying to grade papers

-In reality though, he just wanted to be there to see how it would play out after hearing all the talk about it

-Y’all do be his kids after all

-You keep getting texts from Mina and everyone telling you Aizawa is calling everybody to the commons right now and that you’re late as hell

-You’re out of breath running to the room and realize you don’t see the lights on from where you stand

- Walking in however, you’re greeted with soft jazz music

-Mina standing in the middle of the room with a bouquet of flowers

-In front of her on the floor are candles spelling out “Prom?”

-Not gonna lie she’s a little nervous

-Fingers fiddling for sure

“HEY-uh Y/n.. PROM??“

-You said yes no doubt. Sorry I don’t make the rules

-You were literally stunned, she looked amazing, everything looked so cute, the effort was there. CONGRATULATIONS you won

-Everybody of course had to then hop out from the darkness of the room cheering and recording as you and Mina hug

-Queue Denki + Sero dapping each other up

-Midoriya tearing up

-Mineta full on crying because Mina is now taken

-Todoroki still standing by the wall 🧍‍♂️

-You and Mina definetly had some of the best prom fits

Katsuki Bakugo:

-You were already dating Katsuki, leading him to believe you were well aware that you were going to prom with him

-So when he overheard Momo ask you about plans for prom and you responded saying

-”Oh, prom? ...I’m not really sure I’m doing all that.”

-He was STOMP.ING over and Momo was tiptoeing away not wanting to get caught in another one of his outbursts

-”What the hell do you mean you’re not doing that?!”

-”You don’t want to go with me or what?!”

-”Did I do something? If I made you upset, you should have said something, Dumbass!!”

-”Actually, you know what, I don’t care! You’re going.”

-”With me!”

-You rolled your eyes jokingly

-”Well that sure is one way to ask.” you chuckled and patted his side walking away to go back to your desk

-You were not complaining by any means, but with the intensity of Katsuki’s ability to read behind your words, he knew he was picking up on something else

-Thinking back, he did notice the little way your eyes would glow as your friends were getting asked left and right

-Even when Bakugo mumbles beside you about “Why the hell’s he doing all this like she’s not already his girlfriend.”

-You’ve seen posters, candies, gifts etc.

-But all you truly wanted was for Bakugo to possibly let down a wall of his and utter the same words to you

-But you would never ever push him to do it, in fear of overstepping a boundary

-This in mind though, and with Bakugo being as invested and in love with you as he is, and not willing to admit, he plans something little so you can have a little moment to blab to your friends about too or whatever 🙄

-He’ll be damned if its in public though

-For sure expect to be woken up late at night, leaving you surprised considering yk his bedtime and all

-He’s shaking your shoulder and grumbling to you to “Wake your ass up, or I’ll leave.”

-You turn seeing Bakugo with a candle he over burnt a little bit with his quirk, your favorite snack, a teddy bear, and a little jewelry box

-“Will you uhh..” his eyes dart away from you and he hears you giggle

-”Shut up!! ... ”

-”Will you go to prom with me, Y/n?” he asks shoving the snacks and bear a little in your direction

-”Of course Katsu.”

-He smirked, opening the jewelry box

-”And you make sure to wear this little beauty around that neck of yours at this damn dance, okay?”

Denki Kaminari:

-I’m sorry but you completely spoiled Denki’s surprise

-Well it was a team effort

-He had already accidentally said too much one day without realizing so you knew he most definitely had “Something exciting to ask you”

-But bbbbruh

-The panic everyone screamed in when you randomly walked into Denki’s room while him and the rest of the Bakusquad decorated

-He jumped off the little ladder he was standing on in the corner and turned you around by your shoulders ushering you out

-”ahHa ha...”

-It’s silent for a couple second while you both plan what to say now

Simultaneously:

-“Denki I am SOOO sorry“

and

-”A little earlier than planned”

-Everyone has an ear pressed against the door at this point to listen

-”Well..surprise! I’ll tell you what though,”

-His hands reached for yours

-”I’m a liiittle busy right now.. You know what for, but let’s pretend you don’t.”

-He turns speed walking and dragging you with him

-”So you go relax for a little bit, do some studying or something. Put on one of your cute little outfits, and I’ll be by later to come get you because you’ve got a hot date in my room say around..8:30?”

-You nod, catching your breath and realized he has delivered you all the way back to your own dorm

-Before you could turn and ask any other questions, that boy is booking it around the corner to get back to his room

-Upon walking in he is greeted with bunches of “what happened?”s from his friends and a slap to the back of his head from Bakugo

-Yes they somehow got Bakugo to help

-”Guys! Guys! We’re good, why did nobody keep decorating? Come on people we have until 8:25 and then you all have got to go!”

-Fast forward to 8:30, he’s opening the door for you and guiding you inside with a hand on your back

-He’s cheesing like a fool I promise you

-Sure you already saw part of it but not nearly the end result

-”So, will you go to prom with me?”

-”Uhm, YES!”

-Y’all can hear Sero and Kiri hooting and cheering from Bakugo’s room across the hall followed by a

-”Shut up or get out you idiots!!”

-You and Denki definitely won the top spots in the Prom Court

Eijiro Kirishima:

-Kiri definitely has a little cliche possibly cringe idea he saw online

-But it’s still cute as hell because I mean hello it’s Kirishima

-All his friends were struggling planning things while he was sitting there CHILLEN

-Denki turned like “Uhhh..Bro, you all set or something? You’re looking mighty not-busy over here.”

-”Yeah man. This was eeasyy. I found exactly what I wanted to do. They’ll love it.”

-By this point everyone had been listening, and then he was bombarded with several voices asking for ideas and inspiration from him

-All voices went silent though when he whipped out his phone to show them

-”Dude.”

-”You’re joking.”

-”Tch. Dumbass..”

-He’s not even a little worried about their reactions

-If there’s one thing he knows it’s YOU

-And YOU love anything Kirishima does 

-Let’s not lie we’re all whipped

-And y’all are just some chill ass individuals and cornballs with the same humor

-He spends the entire evening that day drawing out his sign and gathering things he needs and whatnot

-When you walk into class greeted with some yummy food and cheesy saying on your desk, you smirked knowing it was the one and only

-”Surprisee!” he would sing wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing your cheek

-”Pretty manly, huh?”

-When the rest of the class sees how it actually turned out in comparison to the picture he showed, they kinda regretted trying to get on him

-Especially since you were right in front of them enjoying it

-Shit was kinda sweet

-Ya know, seeing y’all be all perfect for each other and all

-”Ah, you’re so cute. It’s great!” your face was lighting up as you plopped down in your seat

-The rest of class everyone was still stressing between lessons about their own prom situations

-And cutting their eyes at you and Kiri

-The two of you are now sitting side by side, his arm around you shoulders and both of your mouths full of sushi

-Prom is literally a dream with this man

-I feel like he would dress with the most casually classy look

-Velcro shoes acquired  😎

-Y’all are so in love you don’t even realize how visible it is

-The whole night is you two soo lost in each other uhghh

Hanta Sero:

-Sero is cool as fuck

-I just had to say that first sorreh

-He’d definitely do something real low-key and cute

-It’s not anything public or in front of everybody and their mother

-The two of you hang out by yourselves and have little ~dates~ and what not kind of often

-So him knocking at your dorm door telling you to get ready to go in 30 minutes was nothing suspicious

-After a light walk from campus y’all reached a point where he told you to close your eyes and let him guide you

-Considers covering your eyes with his tape but doesn't want to end up literally yanking off your eyebrows when he takes it off

-You settle for one hand over your eyes, and one hand in his

-Sero almost knocks you into stuff on purpose and you know it

-But eventually he’s telling you to open your eyes and 

- 🥲

-A literal gasp

-”Ohh my gosh! Sero!? What is this!?”

-You’re literally bouncin up and down

-A whole little picnic has been set up in the middle of some random park by the school just for the two of you

-He’s just smiling and rubbing at the back of his neck

-He’s cool, but he can’t lie, especially when it comes to you, he’s a liiittle bit of a uhh wreck?

-Just hides it like an expert

-”Have a seat”

-He’ll take your hand as you sit to help you wibudfverkfcj;e

-Y’all are snacking and chatting, snacking and chatting

-Everything is literally perfect with him, genuinely so nice to be around

-Around when the sun is almost getting ready to set and the two of you are thinking about heading back to the dorms he stops you for a second

-”Uhm, Y/n. I’m just gonna cut straight to it.”

-”You wanna go to prom with me?”

-He’s looking straight into your soul I swear

-You tell him you’d love too and boooy oh boy the weight off this man’s shoulders

-Everyone wonders what went down when the two of you walk back into the building hand in hand and giggling and smiling with each other

-Of course the two of you nonchalantly fill them in when they ask, but the best details stayed between the two of you

[writingsbychlo]

Oh you just put me on a Joel mood with that headcanon! If I'm not wrong I think you did a headcanon or just told us one of your ideas a while ago that involved Joel arriving at the safe place in the mountains and meeting the reader there and she's like this badass chick and he just falls head over heels for her but his a little shy and a bit self-conscious... do you have anymore 💭 about that???

oooohhhh yes yes i have that draft going on still, but it's been there for a while, so lets make it headcanons for the meantime;

no more requests, the sleepover is over! I am just filling out all the ones left in my inbox!

okay, so, joel is a little clumsy

and yeah, sometimes he freezes up

he's come a long way since his days of panicking and silently crying in the bunker, okay?

but, he still isn't epic

and then he meets you, and holy shit, how his whole life changes

because, you're like some kind of superhero. you're like the black widow of the apocalypse

he is simply sent out with a team as a cook. he hates that his only job is to forage for berries and decide which cuts of meat he can work with

and then he sees you in action, and he thinks he falls in love

because you're so fucking badass

and you don't even break a sweat

but, he's scared

because he doesn't know how you could be so badass in the face of danger, and he actively avoids you

in his mind, he's already written you off as rejecting him, and he kinda lives in that hurt that hasn't actually happened yet

the last time he tried to speak to someone as cool as he sees you was before aimee, and he can still hear laughing in his head and the clench in his chest

so he doesn't bother

it's the third time he's sent out on a scavenging and hunting session with you, well over a year after he met you, when you talk to him

"hey, you're joel, right? I'm (Y/N.)"

"I know. I mean, I don't know that. well, now I do, and I did before, but that makes me look creepy, and- shit- uh, hi. I think."

and he is absolutely certain that laugh is coming

and a laugh does come

but not the kind of laugh he was expecting. this isn't mocking. this is just amused, sweet, kinda cute, actually..

"well, I knew you were joel before I came over. you're joel who makes great food out of basically nothing. you're kinda famous, you know."

"oh, about as famous as you are, then? the badass who's scared of nothing."

and then you're blushing, and taking a seat next to him, and he's pretty sure he might hyperventilate, because did he do that?

"those are lies. I'm scared of a lot of things, I'm just good at dealing with it, I guess."

"so, you agree, you think you're a badass?"

"okay, regina george. I am pretty badass."

"I'm so glad you got that. coulda' ruined this whole thing."

and then you do that sweet little laugh again, and he's kinda proud of himself

"I hear you can draw things. can I see?"

he gets to show off some of his drawings, and you sit with him practically all night

until you get sleepy and wander away tor est before the morning, but he can't sleep, because he's practically buzzing

the next day, that really comes back to bite him in the ass

you're almost home, so damn close, and yet so fucking far

because nobody saw it coming, and he fucking freezes again

and of course, he gets himself pretty injured

some bad cuts and scrapes

and he's fucking embarrassed when you inevitably save him

he can't even look you in the eyes, actually

walking in silence all the way back

and sulking off to his cabin, not bothering to talk to anyone

he doesn't really talk to anyone for days, because he's humiliated

the only reason that breaks, though, is because you catch him off guard

"are you avoiding me?"

"yes. everyone, actually. crippling embarrassment and the low-key wish to be swallowed up whole by the ground will do that to a man."

"and, what exactly made you feel like this?"

feeling like he's being mocked, and scoffing, and almost walking away

but then you look genuinely confused and a little hurt, and he feels guilty

confessing that he hates that he can't be more useful, and that he feels weak

and pretty much just pouring out his heart

blushing, like really fucking hard when you run your hand through his hair and tell him it's okay

"y'know, you shouldn't feel embarrassed. it's not like we went through training for this. high school classes weren't biology, literature, monster-killing combat, maths. it's okay to be scared."

getting even more embarrassed when his eyes flick down to your lips, and he's pretty sure you saw it, too

"can you teach me, though? that's a good idea. lessons."

"you want me to teach you what?"

"to be brave."

"I think you're already brave, joel."

getting all flustered again, but he kinda feels like his ego is being built up, and he feels a little better about himself

"but, if you want, I can teach you how to fight."

"yeah, I'd like that."

he hates it to begin with

because that's a lot more physical exertion than he was ready for

which makes sense, because he's seen you do some stuff that would have him floored, without even breaking a sweat

and he didn't realise quite how heavy a sword was, but he struggles for a while

and, it results in a fair few scrapes and injuries

a lot of bruised shoulders as he learns to shoot and isn't prepared for the kickback

and a lot of little nicks from swords and knives

and even trying to sharpen arrows

but, he gets there

he gets a lot less clumsy, and he gets a lot stronger

and he feels a lot braver

"you have to choose something to focus on. I heard about your journey to find aimee. find something like that to focus on again, and when you get scared, think about that instead."

"what do you think about?"

"I think about my mom."

it leads to a deep story, and a lot of confessions by the fireplace that night. really baring your souls to one another.

and he loves it, because he gets to cup your cheeks and wipe your tears away, and you end up falling asleep on his shoulder, face pressed into his neck

he carries you to bed, and when he's leaving, you grab his hand for just a second, and tell him to "stay a while", and he does

so, the first time he really gets to put his skills to the test, it doesn't go so well

he doesn't freeze up, but he fumbles a little under the pressure, and fucks it up

but you weren't there, and you're what he focuses on, and he couldn't think

the next time, though, that goes really well

he's fucking proud of himself

because this was one hell of a trip, you've been away for three weeks and that was three weeks of time together

he got to do some drawing, and lately you've become his muse and you tease him for it but he teases you back and it makes you blush in that way he loves

and the next time he gets to put all his new skills to the test, he fucking smashes it

he doesn't freeze up, and he doesn't panic

he thinks about your pretty smile and his head stays clear and get feels so fucking badass

and when he finally gets back to the little campsite set up, he's still hopped up on adrenaline

it's probably the slight sting of a bite on his shoulder, or the blood and dirt he knows he's somewhat covered in, and the ache of a hard hit to his ribs, but he's practically high on it

and you're worried for him

he finds you with your legs crossed on your bed, drawing in his sketchbook with charcoal and you look so worried for him

he drops straight to his knees, your hands on his shoulders and thumbs pushing under his jaw as you inspect the damage, and he doesn't care

he just pulls you closer, until he can bump the tip of his nose with yours

close enough that he can feel the sharp intake of breath you make

"I'm gonna' kiss you so good you hit the clouds now, m'kay?"

"kept me waiting long enough." and you barely get it out, he doesn't let you, because he can't wait any longer

he's never felt more like a badass than this moment.

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Final Space, Season 3

Everybody that know me know that I’m high class #Quillective trash and my main thoughts and feelings go out to Quinn Ergon and Gary Goodspeed - precious Gemini gems, and of course the BABIES: Little Cato, Ash and Fox #NeshaLuhDaKids I had some attachment to Avocato once upon a time, but that n***a got on my LAST nerves this season, so we currently at “Do you, Boo” status by the end of S3, and eventually, yes, I’ma get to why that is. 

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now. 

If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

I wanna start with Ash Graven. This season is about Ash more than anybody else, despite the fact that there was a lot of emphasis on Avocato’s toxic ass man pain and growth in Quinn and Gary’s relationship, ULTIMATELY, nobody in the crew did more coming into fruition as Ash did, and I have a lot to say about her, because I have a lot of feelings.

♡ Ash Graven

1. Ash is a kid. Lol. Everybody got very confused because of the unnecessary transformation that Invictus gave her. Ash did not “grow up,” her body was altered. That’s a fuckin kid in a woman’s body. A kid who has previously been living with survivor’s guilt, parental abuse/neglect/exploitation, chronic trauma, and a disastrous superpower that most people could not be trusted to carry. She’s a child having a coming of age moment in this season that is mostly molded in manipulation. If you hate on Ash, go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY if I’ve caught you stanning other characters who have been shit characters, in this fandom or not. Ash was dealt a shit hand and nobody had her back but her brothers, and she’s done what she could and thought was best to care for them. Anybody that missed that - just don’t have kids, K.

2. Ash has no parental guidance. As far as she knows, the only adults who have ever had her back are dead and the ones that she’s stuck with now, she GAVE a chance to try to trust them. She gave Quinn a chance to try to see some of Nightfall (the only adult that we’ve seen not exploit her) in her. She gave Gary a chance by choosing him over Clarence, when she had to make a choice. She even gave Clarence’s ass another chance - with which he responded by dying to not fail her. Now, she has Gary, who just a few days or weeks ago, idek, forced her to try to summon her powers while she was both injured and also upset over having to leave her brother behind - TO SAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND! And she got snatched away in the process and left behind with the enemy, to be mentally assaulted and returned changed, only to have them not trust her.

I love Quinn too. I love her dearly. But the facts were that she was dying and having an episode that nobody could really help with, and Gary didn’t take the time or consideration to think about the stress that he was putting on Ash by putting her in the position to make her feel like she needed to save Quinn for him. Whether or not she was the only one who could, that is a lot to put on a child, and not only did he do it, but he didn’t even seem to think that hard about it whenever he then left her ass. Sure, he was glad when she was returned, but that was a fucked up situation that yet another adult put her into, and the first thing that he should have wanted to do when seeing her was to apologize and try to make it right. It was a huge miscalculation to treat her as a potential enemy that he and Avocato needed to vet. EVEN IF that’s what she was to them, both of them should have had the sense to assess while still treating her as the kid that they supposedly knew.

3. Most of her trauma has been recent and continuous. She looked up to Nightfall, watched her die, and had a meltdown. The events from Season 2 (with Clarence almost killing Fox and leaving him to die, her leaving his side to help out, seeing that Sheryl was treacherous to her own son, losing Nightfall), and the events that are taking place in Season 3 are only in the span of a few months.

They were only stranded for a month whenever we see them surviving together. That girl has had more happen to her to hurt her than to help her and nobody around her BUT Little Cato has been sensitive to that. And they are all fucking adults.

These things being noted - changing Ash’s design was the absolute worse fucking thing. Aging a girl up to make the bad things that follow more palatable is what that seems to be. Ash is still a kid. And THEN, they allegedly made her a queer kid. I say allegedly, because that “reveal” was so poorly done and subtle and weak that I, an almost 40 year old queer, didn’t realize that that’s what they meant whenever they said that they were gonna reveal somebody as a character who is part of the LGBT community.

So... FS production just gon’ decide not only to transform her body into that of a woman, when her mind is still full on traumatized child and hormonal teenager, but also, she likes girls, and they didn’t even do it in a cohesive way that added to the story. They threw it in, like, “BTW, she likes girls, and also, she’s full grown now.” then immediately went for the “Villain” lever, and bitches just ate that shit up. Fuck y’all, forreal. 

& Fox

He didn’t deserve that shit. And, I know a lot of people felt that he was pointless and boring, but his ass was sweet and caring and searching for love and acceptance. As a background character, I liked him. But, he was literally just fodder for Ash’s downfall, which was unfair and problematic, considering that his ass is definitely Black coded. Don’t play. He was voiced by a Black man, spoke with a blaccent, and definitely would be read as Black if you wasn’t looking at him and seeing an alien. They gave him a sacrificial negro trope, the big friendly negro that can kill you but loves everybody trope, and they used his death to just push some narrative forward to set up the one verified queer character as a villain. They got they ass in a vehicle and rolled right over another Black character, and another queer character. Chile...

 ♡ Little Cato!!!

My precious have not been getting some good for too long, and I have had it. He’s not focused on so much this season as he is in the background of other people’s stories, but a very important takeaway is and will always be that Little Cato, aside from Fox, really was the only one here who consistently treated her like she mattered, so it made a lot of sense that he could be the catalyst for her finally having ENOUGH with these people.

I really wish that he could have found out the truth about his past from Avocato, because that’s really who OWED him that truth, but Ash did the thing that I’d expect and told him, to be honest with him. She even told him that Avocato wanted to tell him and that she took that right away from him, because she didn’t believe he deserved it, and I’m respecting her for that, too. I wish she could see how much it hurt Little Cato for her to try to take him away from his home. 

Little Cato has lived before, for a while, and he’s not mature enough to behave as a man, but he at least has a loving foundation to draw from, and having had that support, this is more of his home than it is Ash’s. He doesn’t know how to explain that to her, and she doesn’t know how to understand that for him. Just a tragic situation for two kids with a lot of problems.

♡ Quinn Ergon & Gary Goodspeed

Quinnary notes that might not be featured in the BFCD Reviews by Nesha:  (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) rundown - 

I've had two favorite parts of this season so far and they're very mediocre things that you wouldn't think would be like my favorite part but they are. One of them was that the first thing Gary does when she wakes up is to ask her about her sister (someone obviously very important to her who he's previously promised to allow to let live through Quinn's memory and says he wants to hear about her when he's trying to keep Quinn from dying). Because... He really did care and wasn't just saying something to keep her.

Quinn's mother fucked her up in a way that is so frustrating because Black mamas really will traumatize you about their younger kids. That shit hurt. You showed your daughter dead bodies to make her think about that in the event that your other daughter might be in battle? Bitch wtf

Whenever we say that Black girls are programmed to put everybody ahead of us, that's unfortunately not just including Society, it's in households too. And Quinn comes from this place where that is her reality... Then she meets Gary and he doesn't even register for her as anything special. He doesn't appear impressive or incredible in any way... But he (admittedly) weirdly locks on to her and shares himself - thinking that he's showing himself to her, and ultimately he DOES. And he wants to see her too, beyond all this, who she is, at her most humane. He wants to know about her sister. About someone who mattered to her enough to have the helm of her trauma when she was out of touch with reality. Very soft. Very sweet.

The other was when they were talking about how they met and stuff and Gary absolutely cringed thinking about how corny he was when he approached this woman. A lot of dudes never do that. The complaint of earlier seasons that Gary was overbearing, obsessive and creepy , if you missed the fact that he has terrible abandonment issues from his father’s death and his mother’s rejection, here we have him, in his adult state, looking back at the way he was and being embarrassed about it, and that’s growth!

A close third is whenever at the beginning of the Season he says "Quinn it's been a month eventually you have to open up to me about what you've been through" and she says "I will in time" and he respects it but he reiterates that he's there whenever she needs him. I don't think that people realize how revolutionary that kind of statement is especially for a character like Quinn to hear - who has always felt like she had to take charge, had to take the lead, had to make the sacrifice.

Even when she realized that she was dying, she didn't want to burden him with the information. Not even like ‘a thing that she knew if that could help prevent it and she didn't want him to have to go after it,’ but... she didn't even want him to have to deal with knowing about it!

Maybe she thought that she would just drop, maybe she didn't realize that he was going to have to see her in that condition. And then once she realized that he was going to have to see her in that condition one of the first things she says is "I should have told you." Girl is on her deathbed wishing she had done it differently, for Gary's benefit.

I saw somebody on Twitter tried to come for her about not going to Gary after he killed Fox (you know, shortly after her surgery to save her from the very brink of death, and listen... Quinn comes to see about Gary when she can. She’s done it several times. In fact, I’ma make a whole POST about Quinn and Gary moments SPECIFICALLY to point out to haters in the main tag - where they got Quinn Ergon, and by extension, me, FUCKED UP.

Stop Playing in Quinn Face

HI! HELLO. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS SEASON IS THAT QUINN AND GARY JUST FUCKED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS. OK. Back 2 bidness

See.. after Gary and Quinn got over the humps of Quinn’s Final Space poisoning... everyone got it... nobody told her until Avocato was mad and told her during a lash out, and let me say something about Avocato’s fucking audacity this season... 

♡ Avocato (Note: His name is A-V-O-C-A-T-O. Some of y’all be tryna stan and y’all can’t even spell his name.)

I done seent Avacata, Avocata... That’s not that dude name. Be writing whole ass expositions about some other Ventrexian n*gga. Hope this helps:

AVOCATO. Listen, boy. YOU decided to be a traitor to your people and your king and queen. YOU decided to dedicate your cause to the Lord Commander and lied to your son his entire life about killing his parents, raising him, and never talking to him about it.

Yet and STILL - whenever you had the chance to finally tell him, you ain’t do the shit. Lord Commander gave you the perfect ass opportunity - WHEN IT CAME UP, and even then, with that boy looking you dead in the face and being glad that now he knows everything... you ain’t Ventrexian man up.

Then, whenever you were supposed to be checking on Gary after his traumatic murder fight with Fox and Invictus, you turned it around and literally made it about you. attacking him in the process and only after a physical fight did you apologize. (And y’all still didn’t get back to what had happened to Gary, which was no real fault of his own). 

Fast forward to after you willingly agreed to stay behind and fight and y’all lost. Now, it was Quinn’s turn to be the center of your blame and you lashed out at her because everybody is dying, despite the fact that y’all agreed to stay behind and fight, nobody even told her that y’all were sick, AND you still wasn’t 100 with Little Cato. 

You just had a lot of mothafuckin audacity this season, Avocato, and I personally was not here for the shit. Even when Ash blasted yo ass, your main thought was to threaten to kill her if she took Little Cato, instead of assuring her that despite what you’ve done, Little Cato was safe with you. No, she wouldn’t have listened to you. But, the words you chose tell us about who you are and how you are. You a war mongering killer that don’t ever take responsibility for his shit, and even in those brief moments that you do, its always somebody else’s problem. 

I’da thunk that LC getting snatched away would be humbling for you, but I guess you were chosen by the writers for minimal growth. Bye, Avocato. Witcha bitch ass. We is not cool right now, but you do you. Hope you find some growth up there in ya ass, where ya head been. 😁 Can’t believe I mourned yo ass. You coulda stayed dead as hell.

FINALE NOTES:

OK BITCH OK THIS FINALE WAS HYPE!

Let me pull it up so that I can liveblog it for the shit that I need to conclude this journey. 

We start out after Ash done took Little Cato and burnt off. Gary and AVOCATO done said they finna go get they son. Chile, I cannot handle Biskit voice. I like that lil’ dude but ya voice, Mane. I can’t with it. 

OK OK OK... Whenever Quinn comes up to Gary to talk to him and say potential goodbyes, she look like she wanna say some and that makes me think about whenever she looked like she wanted to say something in season 1 and didn’t. Quinn as grown a lot in her feelings for Gary, but she still has that hard time with talking about her feelings, but I love that you can see them in her face.

Chile... these folk was kinda taking they time gettin started, huh? Knuckas, do y’all remember that everybody finna die of FS poisoning? Lol. Also... why didn’t they start hallucinating and shit? I guess its not until it covers ya face? 

NIGHTFALL. 😥 I love you, Sis. I miss you. But, “Because I’m you and WE think of everything...” YES. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT! EVERYBODY EXPECTS QUINN TO THINK OF EVERYTHING AND WHENEVER THEY DON’T THINK OF THE THINGS, SHE GETS BLAMED FOR MAKING THE TOUGH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD EVEN MAKE. Underappreciated, really. And people still mark Nightfall as a villain, despite the fact that she not only sacrificed herself, but also came specifically to help another Gary. Sidenote - Nightfall didn’t actually pursuit Quinn’s Gary until Quinn was trapped in Final Space and she thought she got a signal from him. So, I’m still salty AF that she been labelled as a villain just because people don’t like her, when her actions have all been to try to help. Here is no difference. She thought of the things that she didn’t think a younger version of her would think of, and left it for Quinn to find. Nightfall be on RNS, and most of y’all didn’t deserve her.

Quinn’s identity crisis is so sad, but I liked that Nightfall EVEN thought about that. And Sheryl... you kinda starting to grow on me. I hate to give shitty mothers who find compassion in old chance a try, but she do seem to really be giving it a go. 

Ash is so fucked up that she rushes right into the devil’s arms. This reminds me of when trafficking victims go back to their abusers because they don’t have the resources to adjust in the system. 😪 She REALLY believes what she’s saying. She really feels like Little Cato is safer with Invictus with the Team Squad. That’s sad as fuck, bruh. 

THE. ACTING. AND. ARTWORK. IN. THIS. CONFRONTATION. SCENE.

Avocato... I’m proud of you for FINALLY taking responsibility ad opening up about it. Little Cato’s reaction is precisely how kids in the system are, as well. They wanna be at home with their parents, no matter who their parents are or what they’ve done. and Avocato meant what he said and did what I referred to earlier as “Ventraxian man up.”

“I’m sorry we failed you,” from Gary was so important. Because, they technically did fail her. Had Ash seen the same amount of love from Gary as she’s seen him give to others, she might have been more receptive to the truth and less susceptible to lies. But, as she had just said earlier, it was too late for kind words. She’s currently beyond accepting them from him. For a brief moment, it breaks through, but without that ability to know love from an adult properly, she can’t accept that apology right now.

H.U.E. with his big robot, Lord Commander...EYE. There’s so much happening right now bitch processing has left the room girl. Biskit did so damn much this episode. And it was good to see everybody on the team have a moment to help things, instead of like one person having to handle the bulk of things. 

Quinn’s begging voice... its such a contrast from whenever she sent out the SOS in season 1 and was afraid and angry. Like... the desperation here shows her softness. 

Ash’s RAGE Bitch...

Gary’s “I love you...” She looked so happy! And then she just sat with it. I feel like she definitely loves him too, but she doesn’t communicate that way. But, her FACE. She was just... did she think that he didn’t before, or was she just speechless because she didn’t expect to hear it? Because, we gotta be real... Sis probably has not ever heard those words from anybody before. And that first time, when it’s really there is a DOOZIE. She had an abusive mother, a seemingly jealous or competitive sister, and we saw how nobody in the Infinity Guard respected her ass when she was serving them the real. I think this is the first time she’s been in love or felt it and when Gary said it, she had to collect herself. The way she ran to him and jumped into his arms??? SHIPPING CRACK. And Mooncake was a part of their hug too. I have a lot of feelings about this dynamic since Quinn and Mooncake are the only characters that we’ve seen Gary have these “love at first sight” reactions to and Mooncake is the first character that I recall Quinn being nice to in S1. 

So.. my heart was very full when they ripped it from my chest moments later. Mooncake has been watching Team Squad members be self sacrificing for a little while now, and he loves his family and Gary so much that he rushes straight towards danger. (Sure, I don’t think that he estimated how powerful Ash could be at this moment), but he had to at least consider that he might be caught or left behind.

Bitch, Ash is GONE. She said, “Fuck all y’all!” Not knowing whether or not Mooncake is destroyed makes it very hard for me to know how much I can stand this, but I also want to hope that he is gonna survive. Quinn having to make the decision to lightfold is hella sad, but even though Gary is destroyed, he has to know that this is exactly how Ash must’ve felt whenever he had to make the call to leave Fox behind. She hated to do that to Gary. She even seemed more regretful about it than Gary did whenever he had to leave Fox and when he left Ash. Sure, its because she loves him more than he loved Fox and Ash, but its a terrible position to be in to have to hurt somebody you love like that. On the other hand, they gave her hella shit for them not escaping when could have the first time, so naturally, she was going to make this decision. 

It very much sucks that Invictus is free and my brain can’t eeem FATHOM what that means for everything and everybody, but the Final Space poisoning left the Team Squad’s system, so maybe there is a rejuvenation of some sort in Invictus’ power? Or does Final Space poisoning leave your system as soon as you leave Final Space? I don’t think that was clarified. 

Anyways, I still don’t hate Ash. Y’all can say whatever about it, but I see sad white boys get forgiven all day every day on this site, and I’m upset, but I’m not letting my baby go. I’m not cheering her on, but unless she dies, I’m gonna hope for the best for her, like I said here. 

DAMN this season was some shit. Ionknow if I’m emotionally capable of watching another season of Final Space in progress. If they make it back for another season, I will most likely just wait until the end to dive in and let them shock my senses all at once instead of on a weekly goddamn basis, because GODDAMN GODDAMN GODDDAMN!

@andromidagalaxie @daintyurbanprincess @shslargue @space-finally​  The Quinnary Moments Masterlist probably won’t be ready by Quinn’s birthday, since her birthday is the day before Juneteenth, but I’ve started on a little fic that I might have the first installment of posted by then. We shall see. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here is my JOURNEY during my first watch of the first two seasons of the show. (I watched Season 3 in progress and waited until it was over to write up this review) and my probably incoherent tag of whenever I do me a lil’ liveblogging: Nesha Watches Final Space, and here is my review on Quinnary: BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) FINAL SPACE

[redxblueihateloveyou]

You know it's always really funny to me when mhs say that had it not been for swimming Haru and Rin would've never become friends bc I'm like, that's how relationships work???? You initially connect bc of something you have in common and go from there???? In that case you can also apply it to mh bc if Haru and Makoto had not been neighbors since they were young they probably would've never become friends either, but nobody wants to mention that bc then their argument crumbles lol

Anyways, your blog is literally the best and your rh (and general) takes are always so nice to read

I'm... same, I just do not understand what’s new about this? Like my mom and dad met while they were both working at school, if I started talking with a guy cause he told me that he liked my chibi Akashi bag and anime, is this not allowed? This in no way means that that’s all we like about each other or smth, this means this one thing brought us together.

This is the reason why I dislike mh fans so much. Because the majority of them instead of posting some canon facts and truthful arguments, they either twist some words into something unrecognizable, either try to change a rh moment into mh. I just always thought ppl ship things for what they are, not what they are not...

And the main problem in this happening and the error in their equation is Haru. Cause they’re trying so hard to sew him into that but with everything he says and do he constantly falls off and they end up with mako-haha. It’s like they say that Makoto is the reason that Haru walks into his future, which is hilarious tbh, and the next movie airs and what do you know Haru is yelling at Rin’s face how “he only walks towards the future and wants it bc of him”, they say that s2 relay teams are what they truly want which everyone knows ain’t true and boom drama airs and Haru and Rin are talking how it’s not the same if they’re not together on the team. They air all the birthday stories and oh no, Rin is special again. I remember how they were running around after that frfr! episode, where Rin tries to make Haru laugh and Makoto says he actually already heard it before and turns out it was kid Haru’s evil laugh in his sleep at school. Like what is so special about that? And how is this mh related? Haru was cutely laughing watching Rin sleep and just reading his text.. that’s yeah, that’s the reason to fuss.

Their problem is always Haru, he never fits their mh plan like ever. But do they listen to him? No. Because we have a moment IN THE ANIME, where Haru says “RIN, I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU, TOO.” meaning he wants to be as brave/daring/passionate, etc. cause Rin represents freedom for him. Okay, I’d get why some needed me to post an arguments list for “Rin doesn’t like Haru only for his swimming”, which is still hilarious to me, but okay, he does have a kink in books about Haru moving in the water and goes about it for several pages, but with Haru this is actually not the case. 

I don’t know if anyone noticed it, but swimming is not what attracts Haru the most about Rin and never was. It’s his character and state of mind and the way he makes him feel aka free. It doesn’t matter what they do, like whether they eat their rolls or draw new years fortunes. Haru said his whole body is on fire just when he looks at Rin and he doesn’t even notice how he starts smiling when Rin talks to him. It’s just the way he makes him feel. And swimming has nothing to do with that. Sorry, guys lmao.

Did they seriously just erase this moment, when Rin writes how he wants swim as fast as Haru in his letter, but Haru looks at the sky and he has this kaleidoscope of Rin’s pic in his mind and what he says next is "Rin, I want to be like you, too.” 

And he means what he says. It’s not about the swimming truly, he admires the fact that Rin follows his dreams with such passionate determination. Mind the fact that moments of Rin that flash before his eyes in this moment a) when Rin openly gushes about Haru’s swimming in front of everyone; b) when he yells in front of the whole class that if he wants a relay with Haru, he will bloody get it; c) his swimming; d) when he tells Haru that he’s a sight he never saw before he’s gonna show him the sight he’s never seen before. It’s about how what Rin wants, Rin fights for until he gets it. Haru is in love with his passion, always was, always will be.

Haru doesn’t want to “swim like Rin” although they did compliment each other by saying “I find your strength amazing” “but I find your stamina amazing”, and Haru always drools about the power behind Rin’s strokes, but Haru swims in his own beautiful way. And while he adores the way Rin swims, that’s still not his favorite thing about Rin and never was. Every time he talks about Rin it’s always about his personality and surprisingly... it’s rarely about swimming. When he thinks about Rin it’s always stuff like... how he is so colorful and intense and full of life and passionate about his dreams and how he stands out among everyone else to him, not about his swimming skills. 

So this argument is dumb AF tbh. I’m like.. yeah, and Lan Zhan loves Wei Ying for his demonic cultivation skills. Not because of his strong character, daring heart and his incredible ability to tick him off and light his cold ass on fire.

P.S. Seriously tho this is the first shipping base I see who just always for some reason does this stupid thing with finding a crumb and actively trying to make it into a bread but then realise it’s realistically impossible so they just replace it with a plastic one and pretend it’s real. This in fact makes your ship ridiculous. You can’t try to push the line that Rin is abusive (thats still lol) and how Makoto is better for Haru, since Rin did everything to make Haru reach his dream and made him happy and he’s the only one who can help Haru, when he feels down like in s2 and then with Albert and etc. Makoto can’t. It’s the truth, just let it go. I know there are not much positives sides in mh relationships to be honest in my opinion, but there are still some (?). Why not base your arguments on truth? Like at least it’s gonna be mh, not some imaginary thing. Either love mh for mh or don’t. Like yeah, Haru doesn’t resiprocate, but maybe one-sided stuff is your kink, ok, explore this, fine, but don’t try to make Haru into somebody else. Then it’s not your ship anymore.

It’s just funny to me like that Rin here writes poems about Haru and openly flirts with him in restaurants and plans their future together and I don’t even need to exagerate anything, it’s just how it really is and meanwhile mh is like “remember how 7 years ago Utsumi said that Rin and Haru wouldn’t be friends if it wasn’t for swimming, so mh is the shit”.. like I’m sorry, but I think I’m allowed to laugh at this. Sometimes you just have to let it go, seriously. Or at least like idk think before you post (and I know that it has like 3 retweets and no one cares, but still 3 ppl agreed and it reached me somehow, so..). My policy is when I create posts about my ships is validation. Like my last Rinharu facts youtube post got 5K likes, I didn’t post my thoughts, just their moments and at the end I specifically said “I have links/translations to all of this, so name thing you want to read, I’ll link you” and I linked everyone whatever they wanted. 

This is how you tell ppl a story of why you love this ship and make them fall in love with it, too. Not by making up lies about what’s not there and twisting someone’s words (like this person wrote “thats what she really meant *adds complete nonsense*). And I know mh do not have any of this stuff that rh have, but if you really ship mh, find something real and go from there. Seriously, it’s better if you have smth small, but real, than a huge lie.

Also I still think ship is about two people, not just one. Why mh don’t want to listen to anything Haru says or wants like at all? That’s just sad. 

P.P.S. Thanks for liking my blog, this makes me so happy <3<3<3

[mayfriend-archive]

Totally understand if you're not up for it and fully recognize the ronald mcdonald dom/sub anon vibes which is an AMAZING post btw but like...now i'm curious, what the hell did Lord of the Flies anon DO that got him blocked for the discourse? like...i just can't wrap my head around high school lit being...uh...that inflammatory i guess?

Okay so, I'll start by saying I've had a new anon from apparently the same anon saying they are NOT the person I blocked, just a rando making the same points, but I'll answer your question anyway just to set out why this person in particular got blocked, out of the several thousand who reblogged/commented on that very successful addition to the LoTF post I made.

First off, I added the 'real life Lord of the Flies' story because I thought it was a good story. I had read about it only a couple days beforehand in Humankind and, after reading out the entire chapter to my parents who weren't very interested, I was excited that there was not only a post where it would be relevant to post, but that I wouldn't be hijacking it, as it was already rejecting the widespread interpretation taught in many schools, that humanity is inherently savage.

When making the addition, I a) did not think it would get more than a couple reblogs, because the post was already at 50k notes and I figured anyone that might be interested would already have seen it, and b) I did not know the very specific context that prompted William Golding to write the book; all I knew was that he had been a teacher at a public school (basically, the poshest schools in the country - think Eton, Harrow, very 'old money' places that pump out Conservative politicians by the bucket-load 🤢) who hated his job and the boys he taught (which, valid), and new information I'd been given in Humankind - that Golding had said to his wife one day, "Wouldn't it be a good idea to write a story about some boys on an island, showing how they would really behave?" - which had no mention of The Coral Island by R. M. Ballantyne, which I have since learned was the text that Golding loathed enough to write an entire novel in refutation of - and included what I considered a very telling letter from Golding to his publisher, in which Golding wrote of his belief that 'even if we start with a clean slate, our nature compels us to make a muck of it.' Another Golding quote that I believe portrays his belief in humanity's 'innate savagery' is that "man produces evil as a bee produces honey."

Obviously, the author of a book putting forward the case for humanity's inherent goodness was going to oppose Golding's hypothesis; Bregman not only noted Golding's literary accomplishments and beliefs, but his personal life.

When I began delving into the author's life, I learned what an unhappy individual he'd been. An alcoholic. Prone to depression. A man who, as a teacher, once divided his pupils into gangs and encouraged them to attack each other. "I have always understood the Nazis," Golding confessed, "because I am of that sort by nature." (Humankind by Rutger Bregman, p. 24-25)

I have bolded the part about him as a teacher, because it is incredibly relevant to the original post that I commented on, which begins with a comic of a teacher locking her class in to see them 'recreate' Lord of the Flies, something which the follow up comments before mine staunchly reject as both misunderstanding the point of the book, and the fact that it took the kids in Lord of the Flies a significant amount of time without adult supervision to go 'savage'. This misreading of the text is widespread enough that when Golding won the Nobel Prize for Lord of the Flies, the Swedish Nobel committee wrote that his book 'illuminate[s] the human condition in the world of today'. Whether or not they misread it is beyond my expertise - they do at least mention the factors of the outside world neglected by many when analysing the book, but still seem to believe it says something about human nature as a whole rather than just, to quote thedarkbutbeige 'British kids being rat bastards' - but Golding quite happily took his Nobel prize on this basis. Which, in fairness, I would too. It's a fucking Nobel prize.

It was with this knowledge, and this knowledge alone, that I stated in my now very, very widely read comment that Golding 'wrote the book to be a dick', in response to the tags of the person I reblogged from. As I said, I now know that Golding did not write the book (solely) because he hated the kids he taught, but as a response to The Coral Island and the general idea that clearly the British were inherently civilsed, whilst the people they colonised and enslaved were inherently savage. So. That's the background.

The anon - or rather, the person I thought was anon - was the sole exception out of dozens of replies, who instead of telling me about The Coral Island politely decided it was time to go ALL CAPS and regurgitate points already made by thespaceshipoftheseus, and implied that the only reason that the real life Tongan castaways didn't go all Lord of the Flies was because they weren't British. Not because they weren't surrounded by violence like the boys in Lord of the Flies, or there wasn't a World War ongoing, or that they weren't the upper, upper, upper crust of a class-obsessed society like Britain - but because they weren't British. A complete inversion of the concept that Golding was trying to get across - now, instead of all of humanity being equally prone to savagery in the right conditions, it was solely nationality that determined it. As in, the British were inherently savage, but nobody else was.

I, trying for humour, made the terrible mistake of replying to them.

I won't lie, I was absolutely blown away that this was real life. What I think they were trying to do was be that Cool Tumblr Person who, after somebody's been shitty on a post, goes to their blog and sees something Damning in their about/description. In an ideal world, I imagine I'd have gone nuts or done something Unforgiveable. In what I can only call the rant that followed, they stated several times that I needed to go back to high school to get some 'proper literary analysis' skills and that the story of the Tongan castaways was completely unrelated to the point at hand which. I mean, I disagree, considering that I made the addition, but I couldn't get my head around how commenting on a post that was already rejecting the thesis that the 'point' of Lord of the Flies was that humanity was inherently savage and was, in fact, about how kids - British or otherwise - learn how to function from the adults around them, and that traumatised, terrified children aren't going to create a mini-Utopia, and put forward a real life example of how without the key additions of an ongoing world war, a colonial Empire and the subsequent mindset of thinking you are 'inherently civilised' and therefore can't do anything wrong, actually, people just want to take care of each other.

A friend has since asked me why I even have 'england' in my description. To be honest, it's a timezone thing - I talk to a lot of people online who don't share my timezone, and it generally makes me feel like if I don't reply immediately because it's 3am, they have the tools to see that I'm not in their timezone and not just ignoring them. I did consider changing it to 'british' or 'uk' after it was... 'used against me', I guess, simply because I didn't want to deal with it, but you know what. No. Not gonna do that. I am from England, and I have never hid that fact. I have a tag called 'uk politics', during Eurovision I refer to the UK's act as 'us' (even if I really, really don't want to. Because James Newman slaughtered that song and it was downright embarrassing), I regularly post stuff in my personal tag about where I live (and mostly complain about this piece of shit government). If people really think my nationality makes every point I make null and void, then they don't have to follow me or interact with my posts; tumblr is big, and I am one medium-small blog very easily passed over.

I did reply to them, trying to explain the above, but their next response really just doubled down. Because I used the word British instead of English - foolishly because the posts above mine focused on Britishness, and also because although Golding was English and taught English kids, the pro-Imperialism author of The Coral Island, R. M. Bannatyne was actually Scottish so, ding ding ding, falls into the 'British' category - they then decided that I was somehow trying to pretend I wasn't English and made all the same points, before ending with this doozy:

At this point, I knew there was nothing to be gained from replying, because if we're whipping out conditions like they're pokemon cards then there's no actual conversation anymore, and I'm not going to start mudslinging like an identity politician. They made up their mind, and I figured there could be no harm in letting them think that they 'won' by blocking them instead of replying.

Until the ask. INNATE ENGLISH SAVAGERY did, I'll admit, make me think it was them, back again. I even thought up a really good response approximately 12 hours after I replied, I was that sure. Until the second message came in, and said they were just someone who came from the post and made the same point by chance. So the saga draws to a close... for now.

It may have been them, it may not have been - the anon feature makes it impossible to be sure, but as the second message I got said, we're in a heatwave. It's too hot to argue. And I've just written a goddamn essay about a book I dislike anyway.

My pasty English ass is going to go melt. If there's Disk Horse, do not tell me. I am Done™

[firelord-frowny]

anyway, kinda re: that last post, i am SO GLAD i’m a fast learner when it comes to interpersonal relationships bc lmaooooo a nigga only needs to do me wrong ONE SINGLE TIME before aint nobody gonna be able to do me like that again. 

i had some sort of wack-ass pseudo-relationship in college with a WORLD CLASS FUCKBOY and my naive lil punk ass suffered through so much BULLSHIT in exchange for slightly prettier bullshit, and it was in the midst of dealing with past trauma from being perved on when i was a kid, i and i clung so hard to that disastrous ~relationship~ of being stood up and forgotten about and taken for granted and taken advantage of (emotionally lmao all the fuck stuff was splendidly consensual. it was a MESS lmaoooo.

Never again! Here is the list of mistakes that I made in that ordeal that I have never repeated, and will never repeat:

1. Continue a close emotional relationship with someone who is unable or unwilling to answer the “what are we” question with an answer that aligns with my desires

2. Continue making plans to meet up with someone who has proven to be irresponsible, unreliable, or both

3. Choose a relationship/infatuation/etc in favor of actual Important Things in my life (i literally almost missed my jury* one semester because i walked my dumb ass to this fuckboy’s house knowing FULL WELL that i wouldn’t be able to walk back in time)

4. fuck somebody i’m not in a relationship with. it’s 100% true that i have no actual regrets about that bit, and it was totally consensual and on my own terms, and if there’s one not-terrible thing i can say about this idiot it’s that he was remarkably respectful of my boundaries and attentive to my comfort level. So like. It was a positive experience. HOWEVER, I now intend to only pursue that sort of positive experience with someone i’m committed to who’s also committed to me. 

and LMFAO my latest ~romantic~ fiasco equipped me with the common sense to NEVER BELIEVE A MARRIED MAN WHO CLAIMS HE AND HIS WIFE ARE GETTING AMICABLY DIVORCED AND THEY’RE BOTH OKAY WITH THE OTHER SEEING OTHER PEOPLE LMFAOOOOOOOOOO WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKIIIIIINNGGGG?

in my defense, i did actually draw a hard line that absolutely nothing was going to happen between us until he was legally divorced and that even if his wife called me personally and told me she was perfectly fine with him ~seeing~ someone else, it wouldn’t make a gotdamn difference. get divorced, or get gone. but even though i drew that line and held my ground at every turn, i did actually believe him when he said all that shit about ~we’re getting divorced~ lmaooooooo YIKES. 

never! again! 

[koselz]

God dammit. I be thinking about life again, whoops. Tryin' to learn how to stop caring about what everyone thinks about me. Tryin' to START DOING THINGS I WANNA DO DAMN YOU!!!!

Bro i read a YouTube comment about a 66 yo guy who said that at his 30's he used to go to restaurants all by himself WITH NO DISTRACTIONS and he'd get asked "Are you waiting for someone?" all the time and he'd be insanely self conscious but eventually he learned nobody cared that much about him.

Like, dude, I think it's true, nobody cares that much. Like, c'mon, everyone has their stuff to worry about. I actually gotta start working on myself a bit more dude. Darn it. I'm a mess. I gotta try to start complimenting myself more and be proud of my achievements, imma try doing that more.

Okay, that aside, the anxiety part aside, the comment really made me wanna GO OUT MORE ALL ALONE! BRO, BRO I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!!

SHIT, ONE DAY, I WAS AT THE COURSE I GO TO, RIGHT? One of the teachers actually said that goes to movies and goes outside all by himself all alone and chills. ALL students found it weird. GOD DAMMIT, I FOUND IT COOL! BUT BECAUSE EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD I KINDA GOT THIS STUCK IN MY MIND. I ACTUALLY ALWAYS WANTED TO GO OUT BY MYSELF, I ACTUALLY FELT VALIDATED WHEN THE TEACHER TALKED ABOUT THIS, AND VALIDATION GOT IMMEDIATELY CRUSHED AFTER. DARN IT!

I think young adults are weird, dude. I think the teacher, who was older, saw how COOL IT MUST BE TO GO OUT ALONE. I dunno how to explain what I mean... Okay...

What I'm saying is, I wonder how many people in the class actually just think it's weird because they felt like me. Like, did someone else before told them that it was weird? Are they just passing it on? I dunno. I don't care about what they say anymore, tho. Imma focus on what the teacher said, COOL ASS TEACHER! I WANNA GO OUT ALL ALONE TOO! Anyways, yeah. I think that's all about this classroom day. About it, Imma focus on how cool it IS to go out. I don't care about the others no more. If I think it's cool, I DO! If they don't, THEY DON'T! None of my business.

So yeah, about the comment from before. I actually really wanna start going out alone all by myself. I think my overprotective mom and 2 aunts are gonna freak out a bit when I tell them that, but, c'mon, I'm 21! I don't really fear them, tho, if they don't wanna let me go, I can just say I WILL go and that's that. They'll get used to it eventually, it IS out of love they worry, not out of it "being weird".

But seriously, I wanna go to the beach all by myself, I wanna go to restaurants all by myself, to the movies, dude, why not? Big world, gotta explore! I GOTTA BE HAPPY!!!

Not at the moment tho, lol, i'm paying my PC with my own money, i gotta save some to pay it sadly. I mean, the beach is free, and there are free places, I can chill, bro. I don't care, Imma try and go have fun more often. Gotta plan more stuff.

Okay, one thing, IMMA TRY AND PLAN TO GO TO THE BEACH THIS OR NEXT WEEK, LET'S SEE IF I DO IT.

Now, here are the rules:

If I don't go to the beach because I'm an anxious, self conscious fuck I'M OFFICIALLY A DUMMASS

If I don't go because I forgot or because I'm lazy or because I planned another thing or something justifiable it alright

If i don't go because my mom and 2 aunts convinced me not to USING NO GOOD ARGUMENTS, because like, imma actually try to argue. if I lose, i'm kinda an idiot but i dunno i'll see it depends on what happens

Thing is yeah, i'll let y'all know if I go to the beach or not. Depending on the reason I'll see if I'm being a dummass or not. Like, maybe I'm not feeling going to the beach, maybe I just wanna play Binding of Isaac and I forgot about the beach, that's not really anxiety, that's more like, just me chilling I THINK. Anyways, I'll try, may my memory help me.

Here's a Dendy all alone at a restaurant. She's doing better than me. ALSO, I REALIZE WHY ALL MY DRAWINGS OF HER LOOK FUCKED UP, IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO THEM SUPER FAST BECAUSE I DO THEM BEFORE I POST STUFF SO I HAVE TO DRSW THEM FAST BEFORE I FORGET

[calypsoff2]

One.

Licking my top lip as I walked into Tianna classroom “We have Tianna’ dad here, shall we all go outside and celebrate Tianna’ birthday” my daughter’ teacher said, Tianna pulled a face at me looking down, she didn’t want drama, so she says but it’s my daughter birthday, I’m gonna do a little something for her “yes!! Do we get cake!?” A kid in the classroom shouted, nodding my head “there is cake and food, the whole nine for her class. Tianna is paying you see” I joked, Tianna ain’t getting up from her seat to see me with her moody ass “if we all want to form a line so we can go outside and can we all thank Tianna’ dad too for doing this” making my way over to Tianna, she is either happy or moody, she is smiling either way “Thank you Tianna’ dad” the class said, crouching down to her “you not getting up from your seat, I got cake. Uncle TJ is here too, I got him to dress up as a Bratz doll” Tianna laughed “liar, that means he dresses like a girl” nodding my head “that’s because he does, I don’t get why you don’t want a party? What is wrong?” My daughters keep saying I do their hair badly; I think they are right with that point, Tianna hair is struggling “I don’t want it, I don’t want cake either” rolling my eyes “right, is that because mom didn’t FaceTime you, I told you baby. The time difference is really big, she was asleep. I mean I am not excusing her for not doing it but she knows how hectic it gets in the morning, Imani is demanding and you know that, but she will make it up to you. I am here anyways; Rylee is also coming out of class for you. You love Rylee don’t you” she nodded her head “come then, big seven for you baby. I can’t believe my baby is growing up so much” getting up from my position “I think she is ready now” Tianna is hundred percent the moody child, but I think it’s because of being the middle child and the fact she was born so close to Rylee, a year between them. She always kind of lived under that, I don’t think she got Robyn like Rylee did in a weird way, and also Tianna put Robyn’ plans back a lot and then she got pregnant again, like she was not happy about it but it happened. It sucks but it’s like Robyn is sacrificing her family time for this, I am doing it all and I can only do my best with these girls. They be stressing a nigga out, especially Rylee. She gives me heart pains and Imani; those two girls alone drive me crazy I am getting grey.

Tianna is getting shy as we made our way outside and her class started to sing Happy Birthday to her, looking down at her as she held my hand with a grip trying to hide away. Trying to pull her forward “come here” picking her up “Happy Birthday dear Tianna” I joined in smiling at my beautiful baby, she is so overwhelmed with her grumpy self picking her up “awww Happy Birthday princess, you going to blow the candles out baby, let’s do it” she’s so emotional “dad, I’ll do it for her” Rylee said stood right next to the cake “watch out, go on baby. Blow the candles out” leaning her down “hurry up Ti!!” Rylee spat; she eventually blew the candles out “yay!! Big girl, a whole seven years old” stepping back and placing her down on the ground “you like it baby? It’s bratz? You like bratz” she nodded her head, crouching down to her “you like? I’m glad you do” pressing a kiss to her cheek “TT, why are you crying for” TJ asked, wrapping my arms around her “she is overwhelmed” looking over at Rylee, she is busy wanting to eat “awww it’s ok, your friends are here” her little friends are just staring at her “why is she crying?” Her little white friend asked, “she is missing her mommy that is all, but she is ok” she moved back from me “I’m ok dad” she said that still emotional as hell “you sure?” I laughed a little “yes daddy” she sniffled; she is trying to be strong again. Rylee made her way over to me “come and eat now Ti, you are creating drama” Rylee said, she is forever headstrong that girl “she will, sit down. We will come and eat” getting up from my position, she is so sensitive this girl of mine.

I was expecting to go home but I am sat with my daughters eating lunch with them “remember, uncle is going to pick you up after school, I need to do a little interview and I won’t be able too so he will come and get you three. I will see you at home and then we leave for London, I am taking you out of school for this” Tianna clapped her hands “remember, this secret is between us. You don’t tell mommy, ok?” These girls can be such snitches, so I need to make sure they are on my side “so why was Tianna sad?” Rylee asked, “she is missing mom, we all are and it’s ok to be sad about it” I added, I don’t mind them being sad about it, I don’t want them to keep this to themselves now “mommy didn’t call” Tianna sad little voice “she called me” Rylee is a pain, side eyeing her “she called the phone, but you were asleep” I shushed her “why she call you!?” Here these two go “ok, that mobile phone is being taken off you both, you can’t share so you both not having it! Stop” girls are a pain, drive me crazy with their pettiness “dad, why Rylee call mom and I can’t?” Tianna turned in my lap “you were being a pain, remember you had to go bed early for being cheeky. Doesn’t matter now, just finish your food” I am tired, I need a break from these girls too. I am pretty much the stay at home dad, I may be in Fenty Corp, but these girls make me so busy that Jen is doing all of the work, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Now that is out of the way I can go to this big boy interview; I am blessed to be invited for this “how long you going to be out in London bro?” G asked, I shrugged “I am not sure, wife is just busy as hell. Like she is just throwing things out, one after another. At one point I didn’t know she was in Mexico at one point; I just know she is in London right now and I want to catch her there. It’s her Fenty clothing line fashion thing, so she’s there right now. I know she is missing us. So I will let you know” funny that she is calling when I am speaking on her, answering the call “Rabbit killer, you missed my middle pookie birthday celebrations” it sounds so busy in the background “don’t Chris, I already feel awful about this. I feel like shit already, sometimes I just think if I am doing wrong. I did ask Rylee to put Tianna on, but she said she got told off, I am missing so much Chris. I just feel stressed right now, I feel so bad, but I know if I FaceTimed her I would be crying but I feel bad, how is she?” Robyn asked; I know Robyn is feeling it, she is feeling a lot of pressure. She did have to stop and start projects, things got delayed because of her getting pregnant, and then again she did but we good over here, I mean the girls do miss her when she’s gone “very emotional, wants mommy and why didn’t mommy call and then Rylee kind of stirred the pot and said I spoke to her and I told her off, but we all miss you” which we do, I don’t want to pressure my wife like that “same, what about my little pumpkin. She’s still being the menace?” I chuckled “she’s still being the sly naughty one, if she draws on her stomach one more time, I’m gonna snap” I chuckled “you’re so good to them, I said to Rylee don’t be hard on him, she goes he doesn’t do hair like you, he isn’t you. We want you, but I said he tries but you are being the best dad ever, they are lucky” I cooed out “thanks, trying though babe” it’s hard as fuck to bring up girls, I do struggle sometimes.

Since being with Robyn, since being a father to three girls it has really humbled me so much and I’ve changed, I know I have changed a lot. I got new friends, new circle. Investing in things, I am big on social media, I do club events, not so much now but I am well known so when Big Boy asked if I wanted to come on for a sit down of course I said yes, he’s a good guy “good seeing you again” getting up from the seat and dapping him “you too, the show is about to start. I had to pee, sit down. We can have a good talk; this guy is a genius. We want to know what it is like to be married to Rihanna” I laughed as he sat down, Herb is with me here, but Big Boy is funny “in ten seconds” the producer announced, chewing on my bottom lip waiting to be counted in. Looking over at Herb “you going to spit bars?” shaking my head “that isn’t business like, we got to be professional bro. Relax” he is dumb “big boy radio, I told y’all we have everyone and anybody on the show and I have been seeing this guy a lot, you all may know him as Breezy, Chris Brown or Rihanna’ husband or for me. The luckiest motherfucker on this planet” I chuckled “we have Chris Brown on the show!” he shouted, the producers in the room clapped “what’s up?” I said smiling “we got Herb, Chris’ prodigy and friend. I just want to introduce Chris properly; I feel like I am not giving him the props and that is unfair of me. We have a young black man that was locked up, he’s come out, put his head down. Opened a clothing line, met his wife, ended up moving onto be a vice president, modelled. And then now he is moving onto handling music artists. He has given back to single fathers, you have a foundation specifically for single black fathers, I want to get into that really. How did that come about for you?” I feel proud of me, he didn’t even add Rihanna into that “erm, well I would be a hypocrite to say I know how it feels to be a single father or be in a household that has that but my best friend, my brother. He is a single father of a son. He lives in LA with his son and erm he just turned to me and said there is so many black fathers that are taking care of their kids with no help, nobody actually looks at them they see mothers. The help is always there for them, so we set up a group and we see these men just stepping up and it’s nice to see. We help them with getting jobs and stuff for the kids, tips too. It’s hard having daughters; I don’t know how anyone man does it without a woman to help them. So I have my mom come in, helps these men to do their daughters hair. She comes in every so often, because she is in VA, but they appreciate it so much. We have centres here and in New York, it’s beautiful to see black men stepping up because nobody ever speaks on them, we have that title that we don’t so yeah” rubbing the back of my head “amazing work Chris, it’s true. We don’t speak on that, we really don’t and when I read what you started, I thought yes. A black man helping other black men to rise, this is why when I saw you at Diddy party, I was donating. This is the moment, so I had to do this brother and get you on the show” dapping Big Boy as he reached his hand over to me.

“So Chris the biggest question here is, what is it like to be married to Rihanna? Come on, we all got that question, how long you been married for now? Seven, eight years now? You sure did put a ring on it quick too” I laughed “yeah, I had too. Actually it’s nine years and it has it’s testing times. Every marriage there is testing times like now, we are apart. She is in London, and I am here, I know people are saying. I say people but I know these people, they are like your home with the kids, and she is running around the country, one minute here, and the next she is in New Zealand and then China. This has nothing to do with them, I don’t mind it. My wife is living out her dream who am I to hold her back? I can work in Cali; I don’t need to be there. I can work from home and be here for the kids, why do we need to start jet setting around and disrupt the kids. I do miss her, it’s hard. Having three daughters, it’s so hard but being married to Rihanna is fruitful in many ways” I busted out laughing “as we can see, you got three kids nigga” Big Boy added “I don’t think it would have stopped, but Rihanna she had to hold back on her dream because she got pregnant again, then another year out, she released the album, and it was around the time she came back from the USA leg of the tour, she fell pregnant again, then her dream got put on hold again, so this whole Fenty Corp was in waiting for long, now I am kind of banned from sex” everyone laughed with me “I don’t blame her, how did you feel to have three girls? You must have felt damn, again!?” I sighed out “Rylee I was like yes, a girl. I am happy. Then with Tianna, we didn’t even find out, so I was like yes, a boy. Waiting there, the nurse turned to me and said girl, I was like ok I can take that, two girls. And then the third one, I shed a tear. Like not going to front, I did. But they are all my princesses, I am getting grey, quick too. I am going to die early; I am really just battling these girls. I got my youngest just being a wrecking ball, she is four and I be telling the eldest two and she is in the background just breaking the girl’s stuff, I don’t like telling her off because she reminds me of me” Big Boy cooed out “so you got a favourite?” I just smiled not saying a word “she is youngest too, so it happens brother” I miss Imani actually.

I haven’t packed anything come to think of it but I am home and I can only imagine the mess of the home, I do fucking miss Robyn. I be working hard here, it’s hard being here but I also don’t want to ask for help because it’s a think of if I ask my mom, then Monica doesn’t like it, she wants to be here too then Monica gets at Robyn because she isn’t home, she isn’t being a mother so it’s like I have to get on with it. Opening the front door, I can just hear screams of course. They are playing, it’s like schools out for them, I am taking them out of school just to go London to see Robyn, I miss her and the girls do too. Placing my car key in my pocket making my way to the noise “you kids are crazy” Imani saw me “mamacita!” she is just the sweetest “daddy” she ran to me “you been playing in dirt again?” picking her up, she didn’t answer me put yank my hat off “bro” walking towards TJ “just watching them play, they adamant they wanted to play in the pool” they really had to get the toys out “thanks for picking them up, you didn’t want to go in the water?” I asked “no!” she spat, frowning at her “I ain’t trust them with her, you know. So she stayed with uncle, didn’t you!” she nodded her head “he gave me cookies! I want juice” I bet she does after getting cookies “and what we say when we want cookies? The word” Imani played with my hat before placing it on her head “please!” she said it so I will.

These kids think they can get away with no cleaning the shit they bring out “Camron, I will whoop your ass too boy. Get your white ass outside and help” I caught him sneaking off “you know what TJ, this is the first time since Robyn left to go that we ordered pizza, I cook. Honest, but you know. It’s the night before we go so I thought why not, but once I get them all in bed then I will pack things” I dragged out, Robyn is calling. I stared at the call and then looked over at the kids “you not picking it up” I shook my head “if I do then they aren’t going to complete the task, and all they do. Including Imani will argue over the phone when she is on, I will call back when they are less hype. I am going to have it out with Robyn, not in a bad way but I want her to be at home more. Not even for me, the girls. It’s been a month now, she hasn’t been here, and they are missing her badly, I feel like I am not fulfilling their girly thing. Even Mel, she isn’t here none of the girls are so it’s like they miss that. We need to speak on it, they are growing, and they need her as much as they need me, you know” TJ nodding his head “tell her Camron does too” I chuckled “you take Tianna and I take Camron, I need a son” TJ laughed out “our kids are so lucky, I was just thinking and I am like the life they live is blessed, I am happy though. I am glad I have Camron with me” my smile grew, Rylee mean mugged me. She is Robyn, she hates when I am smiling when she is cleaning “I deadass nearly fell out laughing, Rylee came into bedroom and obviously Robyn ain’t here, so I am like clothes on the floor here and there, she goes mom doesn’t allow clothes on the floor dad, it’s a mess, pick it up. I stared at her and was like oh my god. You are literally Robyn, scary though” it does scare me “I am training Camron to look after his sisters, he got three too” I feel for that boy, even Imani bullies him so he got a lot to deal with.

[seasonal-obsession]

Six college/university AU

Araleyn high school drama (part 1)

Even though they had high school drama, they didn’t really know each other on high school

Aragon: like, I know lying is supposed to be a big deal but it's super easy. You don’t even have to make up stuff, you can just let people draw wrong conclusions and never correct them. My parents think I’m straight. You still think my real name is Catherine

Boleyn: ..whAT?!

Aragon: it’s just what Henry called me because he couldn’t pronounce Catalina properly. Then everyone at school assumed that was my name and I just rolled with it

Both of them were part of the popular crowd, being involved with Henry. Catalina had been dating Henry for more than a year(god knows why) when Anne got transfered to their school

They have some sort of rivalry going on. Mostly because of that argument that went out of hand on the debate team, and ended in them having two weeks detention. They both say it was totally the other one’s fault (Cata will admit she tried to push Anne off the podium yelling “You know what, Anne BoLOSER!”, but Anne had thrown her microphone at her first)

Catalina was a goody two shoes, perfect student(and kinda of a teachers pet, tbh), dating the capitan of the football team. Suppousedly living every highschool girl’s dream but.. she doesn’t get what’s supposed to be so great about it, she can’t relate and just feels like she’s playing a role. Didn’t have any close friends at school despite being popular. Realized at the end of her senior year her life would have been a thousand times better if she just did things she enjoys and stop caring about what people think

How do I even begin to explain her relationship with Henry? Well, these visuals might help

Let’s just say that Henry is the only person Catalina knew when she moved to England, and her parents are doing business with his parents. Maybe she goes on the first dates with him to be polite. He’s handsome, right? All the other girls say so. And having a boyfriend is part of the high school experience, so.. Still, I know you’re wondering “but how are they together after almost two years?!” especially with Cata slapping Henry’s wandering hands away, saying that she’s not having sex until marriage. I’ll just say Henry might not be faithful *unsurprised gasp*, meanwhile his parents are very happy to see him dating a nice respetable girl like Catalina.

Whereas Catalina is trying her best to make her parents proud, Anne is trying her worst to disappoint hers. Trying almost too hard to be the embodiment of a problem child, Anne has yet to piss off her parents so much they disown her and let her live her life. That’s probably the only reason she agrees to date Henry, an entitled prick with a bad actitude(spoiler alert: it backfires ‘cause of his family’s wealth and influence, her dad is thrilled that she’s dating him). Though stealing him from Catalina is also a factor, and Anne hates how indifferent Cata acts about it. She does like that being with Henry gives her some power, she can get away with almost anything now that her parents think she’s settling down with some rich dude

Anne doesn’t have to do much of an effort to be good at school, so she’s kinda half asses everything. She’s the class-clown (and that’s when she bothers to show up). Known for throwing parties in other peoples houses, at least once a week Anne convinces some random student to have a huge party, ideally on a school night(she might have invented the “Thursdays are the new Fridays” just to show up at school hungover or not to show up at all). Teachers keep telling her to stop wasting her life, and that she could be great if she only applied herself

Now, Anne is one year younger than Cata. It isn’t until she has built quite a reputation at school, she start hanging around her and Henry. That’s around the end of her junior year. Mary Boleyn, Anne’s older sister, is on Catalina’s year and she’s also part Henry’s gang(you know that girl who laughs at all the unfunny jokes Henry and his douche friends tell). She doesn’t really get along with Anne, and she hates her sister is tagging along with her group of friends

Mary: *glaring at Anne, across the lunch table* why don’t you go sit with the other juniors, Annie?

Boleyn: *concentrated on chipping her nail polish* no thanks

Aragon: *staring at Anne in disbelief, mumbles* ..is your sister always so extra?

Cata is onto Anne, nobody’s such a bad girl cliché(just imagine how distressed she’s gonna be when she realizes she sort of has a crush on her). Anne calls Cata “Ice-queen Aragon” (you know she’s got to keep her cool —wait, no, seriously) and “Queenie” because she seemes prissy and kinda apathetic.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 265: Tamaki What Did You Eat

Previously on BnHA: The heroes began their invasion of the Ol’ Villain Marriott. Down in the basement, Re-Destro was all “what’s going my fresh villain citizens, what a beautiful day, well I guess we should start that meeting” and they were all “WE’RE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK” and he made a face and I laughed. Class 1-B, Edgeshot, and Midnight then jovially killed some people, and then we cut to Dabi and Hawks! Hawks was all “sorry it has to be this way Bubaigawara but I’m gonna have to arrest you” and Twice got all Harry Potter in that one scene from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, and then he did the thing, and fucking Hawks just fucking stood there and DID NOTHING. So now he’s gonna have to fight 100,000 Twices I guess, and meanwhile Dabi is running up the stairs on his way to intervene and somehow make things even more chaotic. Also either Hawks or Dabi thinks heroes are scum, and I’m still not clear on which. But basically it’s safe to say that angst is on the way, friends.

Today on BnHA: Tamaki turns into a horse. I have questions. Dark Shadow fights fucking Re-Destro and fucking destroys him in like two seconds flat, like holy shit whaaaaat. Then Tokoyami just hops on inside of Fatgum like a goddamn marsupial, and spends several pages like this, during which I completely can’t focus the entire time but I do remember that we learned that Machia won’t be joining the fight because he apparently only listens to Tomura, so that’s convenient I guess. Then we cut to Twice and Hawks (I literally typed out “Dabi and Hawks” just now and had to go back and change it, so you can see where my mind is at), and Hawks defeats Twice and is all “guess I’ve got no choice” and is seriously going to kill him (hahaha what the fuck), but then DABI FUCKING BURNS THE ENTIRE ROOM DOWN WITH EVERYONE IN IT WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN THE CHAPTER JUST ENDS. I feel like I just got slapped in the face.

so before we start, let me just mention that I got a ton of asks and messages about the whole “HERO SCUM” line, and I appreciate everyone keeping me up to date on the twists and turns of our wild little fandom lol. so as you all probably know, in Viz’s translation of the last page they had Dabi saying the line (“Twice, this isn’t your fault. as always... scummy heroes are to blame”). so naturally everyone was either like “whaaaaat!” or “I KNEW IT!!”, but then Caleb went and deleted his original tweet saying that it was Dabi, and replaced it with a new tweet, the gist of which was basically “I don’t fucking know either” and admitting he wasn’t an authority on the matter. so to sum everything up, we basically don’t know and will never know until the anime airs this in about three years’ time, or until the only man who can actually clear this up decides to stop drawing weird mushroom men for five goddamn minutes so he can clarify for us

anyway, so in the meantime it’s time to see who’s having angst this week! probably everybody! let’s just assume it’s everybody and save some time

ohooo so we finally get to see why they had Tamaki and Tokoyami in the vanguard, eh?

(ETA: gotta say, “you” is an awfully impersonal way to address someone whose entire body you are shortly going to stuff inside your little quirk papoose and tote around like a fanny pack.)

honestly this isn’t much of a mystery though lol. Tokoyami is obvious, and with Tamaki it’s probably because of his kraken thing if I had to guess

...excuse me sir is this leading where I think it’s leading

sir. Mister Gum, sir. please do not tell me you are actually about to lead these children into the building and down into the basement. first of all the thought of you and Tamaki in yet another basement is already giving me PTSD so no thanks. and second of all, ???!?!?!?!?! [gestures incredulously to the two children] ?!?!?!???? [emphatically taps my computer screen with the wiki page showing their respective ages] ???!?!?!?!?!?! [gestures wildly toward a picture of Gigantomachia I pulled up just now in a google search. yeah that’s right. Gigantomachia!! you all forgot about him didn’t you!! well guess who didn’t forget about him?? that’s right. so you’d better explain yourself right the fuck now, Fatgum. oh wait I’m still talking in action brackets whoops]

holy crap is Tokoyami giving orders lmao

well look at you. a general, huh? somebody must’ve told them about his little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab

so now some generic villain guys are all “HOW’D THEY FIND OUR SECRET PATH” and “WE MUST DEFEND IT” and I sure can’t wait to watch them get their asses kicked three panels from now

OH LORDY

EVERYONE TAMAKI HAS JUST TURNED INTO A HORSE. I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS, THE MOST PRESSING OF WHICH ARE (1) WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS PANTS, AND (2) DOES THIS MEAN TAMAKI ATE A FUCKING HORSE. PLEASE STAY TUNED AS WE URGENTLY INVESTIGATE THESE NEW DEVELOPMENTS

lol and the cow horns too. why though. just completes the look I guess

loooooool he’s all “apologies, but please remain still” who are you, Tuxedo Mask??

LOOOOOOL

by the way, I almost skipped right past this, but the text says Tamaki will be a sidekick at the Fatgum agency starting “next year”, which presumably means “in a couple of weeks because the school year is about to end.” our boy is graduating! I’m so proud, and also really pissed off about Mirio all of a sudden, just throwing that out there. how much longer must his dreams be put on hold. where is the justice. man I need a minute

okay! anyway so now Tokoyami is just running into the basement alone!! hooooo boy. I know it’s dark down there and that’s presumably why they’re sending him of all people, but still. hooooooooo boy

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NO WAY

IS TOKOYAMI GOING TO TAKE ON FUCKING RE-DESTRO AND IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AND WHY THE FUCK IS NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY PLAYING

KDSFLK;L’LLL

AM I IN THE RIGHT MANGA. DID DARK SHADOW REALLY JUST GROW NINETY FEET TALL AND START WRESTLING THE SAME FUCKING GUY WHO ALMOST* BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF FUCKING VILLAINS

*except he didn’t, let’s be real. didn’t even come close. but still, on paper the hype looks real good!!

AND DO RE-DESTRO’S ROBOT LEGS SOMEHOW FUCKING CHANGE SIZE ALONG WITH HIM. CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP FOR THE MYSTERY BASKET. PUT YOU RIGHT NEXT TO “BUT FOR REAL THOUGH DID TAMAKI ACTUALLY EAT A FUCKING HORSE”

OOOOOF

LOL DETNERAT’S MERCHANDISE REALLY IS TOTAL SHIT. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE CLASH WITH A GIGANTIC SHADOW DEMON

by the way, check out that one guy in the bottom right corner who just totally doesn’t give the least of fucks. he’s fresh out. he wants to know how much longer this is gonna last so he can go home and get back to playing the new Animal Crossing. did you know they added a new crafting feature. can’t believe he’s stuck here at this boring meeting. this man genuinely doesn’t seem to be at all aware of anything that is currently happening around him and it’s amazing. added to the box of questions

oh man. I don’t quite understand what is happening now but I keep expecting Gigantomachia to just pop up out of nowhere any second and I can’t fucking stand it. Horikoshi please stop showing us these close-ups of destroyed walls

OH GOD OH GOD!!!

(ETA: what a casual fucking line implying that Tokoyami genuinely believed that there was nobody in THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF PLIFF who stood a chance against his latest super move. don’t mind him everyone, he’s just been lowkey biding his time to become the strongest member of class 1-A offscreen while his loser classmates were having dramatic family dinners. how many High Ends could Dark Shadow take out I wonder. why did I suddenly get a mental image of Toko losing an arm only to sigh and nonsensically quote Shakespeare or some shit before wrapping Dark Shadow around the stump and getting back to the asskicking.)

NO TOKO NOT THE ANGRY BALD MAN, HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!! OH FUCK OH FUCK

LMAO

:) :) :) can we maybe get my solemn bird son out of this fucking DEATH BASEMENT right the fuck now. can we do that, please

holy shit!?

:) :) :) I can’t decide whether I trust these panels or not. why is he so confident. does this mean Machia really will be sitting out the arc, or is a trap. help

(ETA: I guess it’s okay for now. ... dammit I’m still suspicious sob.)

also, Tokoyami’s “?!” face is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen though. the fact that he’s physically incapable of altering his expressions no matter what is true comedy gold here

NEVER MIND, THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A CALLOW YOUTH WHO KNEW NOTHING OF TRUE COMEDY GOLD

WHAT A FOOL I WAS. PLEASE PARDON MY IGNORANCE. SO HERE WE HAVE TOKOYAMI’S MONOEXPRESSION BIRD HEAD STICKING OUT OF FATGUM’S JOLLY BELLY FOR NO REASON, WHILE FATGUM IS ALL “DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE’RE KICKING TOO MUCH ASS AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”, AND SOME OTHER POOR GUY WITH SCISSORS HANDS IS JUST LYING THERE DEAD IN THE BACKGROUND. MY GOD. I’M IN AWE OF THIS

dfkjkjk oh noooo

“does this young man amuse you,” Horikoshi says as he darkly pencils in the disturbingly concave shadows of Fatgum’s ridiculous fucking quirk. “are his ‘magnificent fellow’ bird antics pleasing for you to watch. I guess it sure would be a shame if I gave him some... angst”

but for real y’all I genuinely can’t take this at all seriously when Tokoyami’s head is still stubbornly and persistently poking its way out of Fatgum like a goddamn baby kangaroo in every fucking panel

we are entering another Tokoyami+Hawks mentor flashback and this is still all I can think about. why is he even in there. why is any of this happening. Tokoyami really just flung Re-Destro into a wall and then climbed inside of Fatgum feet-first so they could run along to freedom. just fucking ensconced himself. do you think it’s cozy in there. do you think Aizawa would fall asleep

hey Toko please stop having ominous thoughts about my other bird son

have you ever heard of an announcer jinx. “now here’s a guy who the fans have loved since the moment he was first introduced. and if you look at the stats, fourth place in his first popularity poll, which was taken only ten chapters after his introduction. heck, he’s so popular they even went and gave him a role in the second movie even before he appeared in the anime! it’s undeniable that this young man has a bright future ahead of him, Al.” now you listen here. I don’t at all like where this is headed and it needs to stop right now

anyway so of course on that note we are cutting back to Hawks

so we’ve confirmed that Hawks has his hands full just melting all of the new clones as they come, and doesn’t have the speed or the excess feathers (or the conviction? :|) to go after the original and put a stop to all this

or you could just ignore everything I say ever because immediately on the next page Horikoshi is all “actually he’s winning lol”

anyway but it sure would be a shame if someone were to run in and set you on fire right about now. that probably sounds sarcastic but it actually would be really bad lol please don’t set Hawks on fire

(ETA: motherfucker. goddamn. fucking --)

and now Hawks is making clones of his fellow League buddies oh shit!! but right when I was about to scroll down I noticed that Hawks is carrying some sort of recording device?? or communications device?? in his hand very conspicuously in that last panel? and so what is going on here, exactly?

oh shit and never mind about those LoV clones

that’s all well and good Hawks, but I need you to please just be very cautious and aware and proactive about not catching on fire okay. watch your six

oh my god oh my god

“now here’s a guy whose rise in popularity was unexpected but just a real pleasure to watch. he just really cares about his friends.” “you said it; he really came into his own a couple arcs back. twenty-third in the most recent poll, and the fans all love him.” fffffff Hawks isn’t a killer Hawks isn’t a killer, I can’t hear you lalala

LA LA LA

maybe... he’ll just... punch a small hole through one of his lungs... ...

...

or... a large hole... ... ,,,

oh THANK GOD he’s jumping on top of him. so clearly he’s fine because Shounen Rules. that’s right, this is a manga where Toga survived blowing up from the inside out and Jeanist survived being murdered and stuffed into a tote bag. (right??) why am I so tense I hate this!!

HEY WHAT IS THIS

or you could just KNOCK HIM OUT??? ?????!??! did they not teach you that in peewee assassin league?! Hawks

I DON’T LIKE THIS I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

STOP SHOWING US TWICE’S SAD THOUGHTS YOU BASTARD NO I DON’T LIKE THIS YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY SO STOP!!

GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I FUCKING HATE YOU

“HERE’S A SERIES OF PANELS WITH TWICE CRYING AND THINKING ABOUT TOGA WHILE HAWKS HOLDS A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT ABOVE HIS EYE,” HORIKOSHI SAYS WHILE IGNORING EVERYTHING I SAY AND DISABLING ALL COMMENTS ON HIS TWITTER, PROBABLY. WOW I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT? DAMN, TWITTER REALLY SUCKS, BUT ANYWAY

FINE THEN DABI YOU CAN SET HIM ON FIRE!!

JOKE’S ON YOU ASSHOLES, YOU CAN’T HURT ME IF I CAN’T SEE THE LAST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER THROUGH ALL MY TEARS

FUCK

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THE FUCK WAS THAT

DON’T YOU EVEN DARE, HORIKOSHI. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION”, COME THE FUCK ON, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DIDN’T MEAN SHIT AND I WAS LIABLE TO CHANGE MY MIND YET AGAIN ONLY A PAGE LATER AS PER USUAL! WHAT SORT OF TWISTED MIND WOULD DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE TWICE WAS TO SET THE ENTIRE ROOM ABLAZE AND THEN HAVE DABI GLEEFULLY STOMP ON HAWKS’S FACE. WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER WOULD DREAM THIS UP. THIS ISN’T HOT AT ALL. HOW DARE YOU

ALSO WTF DABI, “HERE I COME TO RESCUE TWICE” WHILE BURNING HIM ALIVE AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST THESE FUCKING TODOROKIS I SWEAR TO GOD. DID YOUR BRAIN CELLS CATCH FIRE TOO

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED ALL WEEK IN A FUCKING LOCKDOWN FOR THIS SHIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK, AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO THANK ITS STUPID CONDUCTOR, OR PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. it’s not the manga we need, but it’s the one we deserve. I guess