#submitted by @marksider89

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Max: P.T. Barnum once said, "Clowns are the pegs on which the circus is hung."

Rachel: (trying not to laugh) Pegging clowns?

Chloe: (barely stifling a guffaw) Pegging hung clowns?!

[incorrecthsrquotes]

Coach Z: Yeah, sex is cool, but didja ever had mental stabilerty fer forty eight hours!?

Homestar: ...

Coach Z: ...

Homestar: You doing awight, buddy?

Coach Z: Absolortley not!  Thanks for asking.

[incorrect-overwatch-quotations]

Pharah: Have a heart, doc!

Mercy: What a re-pulse-ive idea.

Pharah: Well, I know when I’m beat.

Mercy: …Aorta smack you for that.

Pharah: …God I love you.

Mercy: What?

Pharah: What?

Submitted by marksider89

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Ms. Grant (assigning lab partners): Chloe. You'll be with Max and Rachel.

Chloe: Alright, my fantasy threesome!

(awkward pause)

Chloe: ...Of lab partners to work with...

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Alex: Fantasy could be the best genre, but unfortunately there are too many weird horny men writing it.

Steph: And not enough weird horny women writing it!

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Chloe: I'm preparing a surprise party for Victoria!

Max: Don't you hate Victoria?

Chloe, filling a balloon with bees: Yes.

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Alternative Responses to "I Love You"

Rachel: Who doesn't?

Victoria: I know.

Gabe: Thanks!

Nathan: A horrible decision, really.

Chloe: Why?

Max: *laughs nervously*

Warren: *laughs hysterically*

Steph: YEET!

Kate: I'm sorry.

Alex: *finger guns*

Mr. Jefferson: If only there was someone who loved you.

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Victoria: I'm straight!

Chloe: The only straight you are is a straight-up bitch!

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Chloe: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as "Eagle One."

Chloe: Rachel, code name: "Been There, Done That."

Chloe: Max is "Currently Doing That."

Chloe: Steph is "It Happened Once in a Dream."

Chloe: Mikey, code name: "If I Had To Pick a Dude."

Chloe: Kate is... "Eagle Two."

Kate: Oh, thank God.

(Later)

Chloe: This is "Eagle One." "Been There, Done That" is leaving the stage. "I'd Be Lying If I Said I Hadn't Thought About It" (Victoria) is in position.

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Chloe, on the phone: Hey, Mom, can I borrow $2500?

Joyce: Why the hell do you need $2500?

Chloe: For an escape room.

Joyce: What kind of escape room is that expensive??

Chloe: ... jail.

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Max, to Chloe: How much money do you have?

*silence*

Max: Chloe?

Chloe: I have none, so I said nothing.

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

"I am not 'in love' with Max. It's just a coincidence that the dip of her back and the hollows of her neck are meant to hold my hands and face perfectly."

- Chloe

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Rachel: Chloe?

Chloe: Yeah?

Rachel: What should I get Victoria for her birthday?

Chloe: Talent.

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Max: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Warren: In my defense, Chloe bet me I couldn't eat all dat shampoo.

Max: No, that's not what I— You ate shampoo!?

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

"I’m sorry I called you an asshole, David. I thought you knew."

- Chloe

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Victoria, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhhh, seven espresso shots?

Rachel, next in line: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.