#such perfect couples cannot exist outside of fiction

[quirinus-quire]

How Moon Knight #26 Opens Up a Conversation About Spiritual Plurality Alongside DID

Moon Knight #26 (2023) came out 3 days ago, and gave us the long awaited focus issue on the recently introduced character to the franchise, Dr. Yehya Badr, aka Hunter's Moon. In this issue, Dr. Badr is shown in a therapy session with Marc Spector's therapist, Dr. Sterman. In this session, he explains that after the last time he was resurrected by Khonshu, his consciousness began to merge with that of previous, deceased fists of Khonshu.

[ID: two comic panels from Moon Knight (Volume 9) #26. In the first panel, Dr. Sterman sits on a chair in her home. She says "One moment, please. You're telling me that the... persona of a dead fist of Khonshu took over your body?" In the second panel, Dr. Badr faces the wall and responds to her. "Yes and no. It was more that... we became one." end ID]

Badr is experiencing the memories and identities of these former Fists of Khonshu, as if they are his own.

[ID: two more panels from the same comic, both characters are in the same places. Dr. Sterman says: "So that is what you meant by a flawed resurrection. The chorus that Khonshu imbued you with, the memories of all the firsts who came before you..." she trails off, and Badr picks up with: "Yes. The levee has broken. And at times, I cannot tell where I end and they begin." end ID]

What Badr is experiencing here is by all definitions a plural experience. Religious and spiritual plurals are very much a thing in the real world, and it is not uncommon for plurals of all origins to have blurred identities and memories, as Badr does with his system.

While Badr is definitely not the first case of spiritual, religious, or non-disordered plurality in the Marvel Universe, because Moon Knight is a book with a protagonist with Dissociative Identity Disorder, this gives Marvel the perfect opportunity to have an explicit discussion about plurality existing in other forms beyond DID.

The majority of representation for plurality in media centers around Dissociative Identity Disorder, as does Moon Knight. Plural representation that is not textually described as DID is usually a supernatural experience, such as possession by a ghost or some other supernatural entity. As we have already mentioned, spiritual and religious plurals do exist in the real world, though probably not in cases like Badr's, they still are very much real and deserve to be represented just as much as people with DID do.

While the plural community at large has become more accepting and aware of plural experiences outside of DID in the past couple decades, we still need to break this barrier in media representation. Marvel would be a great place to do it, as they have such a vast universe of so many diverse characters, and already have plenty of characters with DID. Badr may not be exactly the perfect candidate, as his system's origin is not very realistic, but he is still a huge opportunity to open this discussion.

Badr and Marc are already textually described as brothers, they have a complex relationship that could be strengthened further by their shared experience of plurality. There's plenty of conversations to be had about the ways their plurality differs- Marc, Steven, and Jake have very hard memory and identity barriers, while Badr and his system have quite the opposite.

As a system ourselves, this is something we've long waited for, both in Marvel and in all forms of fictional media in general, when it comes to portrayals of plurality. Let's hope Marvel gives us this arc!

[heedeungiiee]

𝙁𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙮 𝙂𝙮𝙪 - - - 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙞 𝘽𝙚𝙤𝙢𝙜𝙮𝙪

“Finally, I finish this freaking essay!”

You have been working on an essay that is worth fifty percent of your grade for the past two weeks and you were delighted that you are finally finished with it. No more breakdowns, no more staying up late, and no more excess caffeine or else you will die of caffeine overdose.

You saved printed your work and put it in your file case so it won’t get damaged and you won’t be forgetting it for school the next two days. You even saved your document in your laptop just to make sure that all your hard work won’t go to waste and if you need another copy of your work.

You stood up and did some stretching exercises because you were aching all over. Most especially your back and your hands. 

“I think I should walk out in the park to freshen up my mind.” You told yourself as you hurriedly approached your closet to pick something to wear.

The rain just stopped pouring and the birds were chirping outside. The sun wasn’t up but at least the sky was bright and clear. Just the perfect weather and mood for an afternoon stroll.

You decided to wear faded jeans and a large hoodie since you are just going for a stroll; no need to dress that extravagant, right? You just wear a pair of old converse and grab your wallet, just in case you go to a convenience store afterwards. 

You said your goodbyes to your mom who is inside the office printing some work related stuff. 

You started walking your way down to your neighborhood with your hands inside your pocket. You saw children coming out of their houses and playing in the front yard after it rained for two days. Some were even heading towards the nearby park to play with their friends. You smiled just remembering the days of your childhood where you too were also happy whenever you played with your friends after a long rainy day.

You were already in the park just walking and enjoying the greenery of the area. The grass, the flowers, and benches were drenched with rain water but still they look immaculate. You took a couple of photos from the park, mostly the flowers and the lake at the center where a flock of birds are flying in the sky. 

You were just humming to the tune of your favorite song while walking to the brick pathway, minding your own business and enjoying the breeze of the air when you heard a high pitched voice calling for you. 

“Psst. young lady,” the called over you.

You looked everywhere but you saw no one in that area of the park. You just shrugged your shoulders because maybe you were just hearing things because of lack of sleep.

“Over here, miss.” You heard the voice coming from the big oak tree. 

That’s it. I probably lost my mind from doing my essay. You said inside your head.

You stared at the tree for a moment  and for some unknown reason, you started coming near the tree. You just wanted to check if that high pitch voice was coming from there or if you were just imagining it.  

 “I am officially insane,” you said out loud because the little flying figure was so unreal. You only see them in cartoons or movies about fiction characters. This cannot possibly exist in real life. 

You looked around and you gasped in shock when a small human-like figure went flying in front of you. He has a friendly smile painted on his face. He was wearing  a cream colored puffed sleeve polo and light brown slacks; he was even wearing a cute pair of black oxford shoes. His hair was shoulder length and it was curled up a bit. Various flowers were also arranged in his head immaculately, making him more adorable. His fairy-like wings make him cuter than ever. 

Yes, you know you are freaking out because of this tiny creature but you cannot help but admit that he is so adorable.  

The little creature laughed at your reaction in his high pitched voice. “No miss. You are not insane. I am real, promise.” He smiled from ear to ear. You finally calmed down and you kinda admit that he really is cute, most especially his high pitch voice. 

“Whatever flying fairy creature you are, you are cute.” You smiled back at him.

“Thanks. By the way, miss, what is your name?” asked the little creature.

“I am y/l/n.”

“Y/n,” the little being repeated. “I like your name, it suits you really well.” He giggled. “By the way, my name is Choi Beomgyu but you can call me by my nickname Gyu.”

“Nice to meet you, Gyu.” You smiled and lifted your palm up, inviting him to land his feet there. 

When he landed on your palm, you complimented how cute his nickname was and he fluttered his wings as a way of expressing his gratitude.

“Y/n, may I ask you a favor?” Gyu asked.

“Sure what is it, Gyu?”

“May I kiss you?” He smiled like a cute little kid asking if he could buy some chocolate.

You blushed because of his question. You just met this creature and you barely even know him. And now he is asking for a kiss? 

“What will happen if I do so?” you asked out of curiosity.

Gyu smiled mischievously, “You will see.” He smiled and battered his eyelashes at you. Persuading you that you will do it.

What if this is some kind of danger? You thought to yourself. 

You were contemplating on whether or not, give him a peck. After a lot of thinking and Gyu showing off his charms, you decided what is best. 

“Sure, I guess you can kiss me,” you said. You were curious to what will happen and you were praying that this will not be some kind of danger.

Gyu’s face lit up and he started fluttering his wings out of happiness. “Thanks, y/n. I promise you won’t regret this.” He giggled and you giggled as well because he was so adorable.

He flew away from your palm and went close to your lips. You pouted a bit and you felt Gyu’s tiny lips touch yours. 

Moments later, smoke, sparkles, and flowers were everywhere to where Gyu was standing. You panicked a little bit but you remained composed. You wanted to know what surprises await you.

You gasped as you saw the tiny being transformed into a handsome young man right before your eyes. He was still Gyu, but taller and without wings. 

“See, I told you y/n. You won’t regret it.” Gyu giggled, but this time his high pitched voice disappeared and it was replaced by a manly deep voice. 

You blushed and you felt your heart racing because you never knew the tiny being was a handsome young man. You never knew a creature like this existed in this world.

“You look prettier when you blush,” Gyu chuckled and you bowed down your head because you were being giddy for some reason. 

“Hey, look up here, y/n,” he held both of your shoulders. You were only chest level when you are facing each other so he was basically towering over you. “No need to be shy. You helped me do my favor and I want to thank you for that.” Gyu giggled. 

“I am still the same fairy Gyu but taller and without the wings,” he explained. “Did anything change?” he asked.

“Not really,” you managed to say. “But you just got more handsome and your voice sounds amazing.” You tried to say that in a low tone but Beomgyu clearly heard it.

“Thanks for that compliment, y/n. I know you won’t regret kissing me,” Gyu hugged you tightly.

He leveled his eyes to yours and you tried your best to not shy away from his gesture. He pulled you closer to him before smiling cutely at you. 

“Care if I kiss you again?”

Without waiting for your answer, he leaned and gave you a passionate long kiss.

[bigbadredpanda]

A lot of the Western MDZS fans seem to think that Wei Wuxian has self worth and self esteem issues.Is this interpretation true to the text? What does the Chinese fandom think about it?

Well, I don’t think the dividing lines within the English-speaking fandom (the West vs the East, Asian vs non-Asian, America vs the rest of the world, etc) are that clear-cut. Sure, cultural sensitivities differ, I only have to look at the comments on my translation of the Gusu Lan Sect rules to acknowledge that, some lambast the Gusu Lan Sect for the outrageous deprivation of fundamental liberties, others view the rules as strict but fair and even experienced something similar as part of their own education. However geographic origin is not the be-all and end-all that decides whose opinion is more informed. Curiosity, open-mindedness and a willingness to challenge one’s own frame of reference go a long way to apprehend a work outside of one’s own culture. And that’s what MDZS is for the vast majority of the fans in the international fandom, a piece of fiction from another culture and even a first encounter with a work of Chinese origin. In the end, international fans share the same fandom space without borders, they use the same social media, read the same version of the English translation, come across with the same fanmade content and engage in the same discussions.

The more manifest divide in my opinion is between the international side and the Chinese side. Within the English-speaking fandom, we have differences of interpretations and clashes of opinions but the Chinese fandom has an altogether separate fan culture and another relationship between the audience, the author and the source content. There are superficial similarities between the two sides such as some common fandom trends but they often differ in essence, for instance, the motivations and modus operandi of antis and purity cliques in the Chinese fandom are dissimilar to those in the English-speaking fandom. Both the international and the Chinese fandoms exist while being more and less dimly aware of the other’s presence but there is precious little interaction between the two of them as a whole. When content from one side makes its way to the other side, it’s fanart for the most part as well as Chinese-to-English translations of official and fanmade content. It’s more a unilateral transfer than a conversation between different cultures.

Chinese fandom is organised and segmented, the novel and its adaptation have their own supertopics on Weibo and proper tagging is mandatory so that people can stay in their own lanes. Contrary to the international fandom in which there are relatively few spoken and unspoken rules (you can pretty much post whatever wherever as long as it’s not offensive or stolen), the Chinese fandom abide by a whole set of mostly self-enforced regulations. For example, the MDZS supertopic which is novel-centric has its very own wall of rules in its pinned post, among these there is giving due respect to the author, the characters and the novel; the proscription of breaking up or reversing Wangxian, of disseminating content that distort the facts in the novel, etc, etc... There is a more rigid adherence to what is established as canon. What is not supported by the novel runs the risk of being considered ooc. It’s quite common for fanfics to have an author’s preliminary statement along the lines of “the characters belong to the author, any oocness is on me” as a precautionary measure. I’m describing all this to give a tiny bit of insight on what it’s like on the other side, I don’t think that one fandom culture is superior to the other. It’s like free verse and regulated verse, there’s not much point in comparing what cannot be compared. It stands to reason that the international and the Chinese fandoms have disparate views of the original content as they have evolved independently over the years and they do not consume it the same way. You also have fandom-specific interpretations that spread and become a prevalent norm (e.g. Lan Wangji’s speech patterns).

So, after excessive meanderings, I finally return to the main topic of your question. Wei Wuxian’s supposed self-esteem and self-worth issues are definitely prevailing traits in the English-speaking fandom. It seems to me that it stems from a misreading of cultural norms as many of Wei Wuxian’s actions are rooted in a specific historical and social context steeped in filial piety as well as a literary genre that idealises the archetype of a noble and righteous hero fighting for the greater good. That’s not to say that such representation of him is completely non-existent in the Chinese fandom, it does come up from time and time, perhaps more on the live action side. The more common portrayal of Wei Wuxian though is as a brash young man and a self-assured genius and you have some very good meta on why “perfect equality” between Wangxian is one of their main strengths as a couple (x).

Hope that answered your question despite the long digression =)

[yandearest]

May The Odds Be Ever in Your Favor (Hoseok x Reader Hunger Games AU) Chapter 3: The Assessment

Summary - Living in District 4 you never thought you would have to worry about being selected for the Hunger Games. With a training centre right near the dock of the houseboat you lived and fished from, your district was known for volunteers who trained their whole lives for a shot at glory and riches. But at age 18, your name is called and no girls volunteer to take your place. Your devastation is answered when Kim Namjoon volunteers for the males shortly after. Tall, muscular, highly intelligent and charming, the years of diligent preparation have bestowed Namjoon with the expectation of being the next District 4 champion after Finnick Odair last won 3 years ago.

Fishing for a living has granted you skills with a knife but, as your mentor Finnick is quick to describe, your beautiful face may well be your best asset.

Upon arrival in the Capitol you are quickly faced with the reality that Namjoon may not even be the biggest danger inside the Arena. Especially when you capture the obsessive attention of District 2′s own volunteer, and killing machine, Jung Hoseok. Hope soon fades from ‘survival’ to ‘the mercy of a painless death’ but Hoseok certainly has other plans.

Pairing - Hoseok x (fem)Reader

Genre - thriller, angst, yandere

Word Count 7K

Warnings - [in later chapters] major character death, graphic depictions of violence, swearing, obsession, dubcon-smut (smut will be marked so reading is optional), gore, unrealistically beautiful oc because I’m a sucker for that shitty trope and want to live vicariously through my writing (sue me)

The following is a dark fic featuring a yandere character, violence, obsession, and coercion. By no means does writing about this in a fictional setting condone any of those behaviours, much like Stephen King writing horror doesn’t mean he approves of psychotic killers in reality. Please avoid reading if any of these warnings makes you uncomfortable.

Previous Chapter: 1, 2

Cross posted on A03 so people can subscribe for updates/notifications

Throughout the course of your life you had found that the more you dreaded something, the faster it arrived. As you sat in the waiting room, waiting for the call to go into the training center alone for your final assessment, you couldn’t help but think of just how fast the training process had gone by, and that in less than twenty-four hours you would be inside the dreaded arena.

During your knot tying session after your incident the on the first day, you had formed a slight friendship with Krystal, who had asked if everything was okay. You had lied, saying you were fine, too afraid of telling her the truth after Namjoon had just blown up on you, and she simply had nodded in acceptance. But you could tell she didn’t buy that answer from the way she seemed to treat you with a little extra kindness. You stuck to her like glue for the rest of the training period, refusing to separate within the career pack without Krystal by your side. It was an odd dependency given she was the smallest of the lot of you, but she had taken to it rather well. She never asked you about it, but immediately went along, making sure you were always by her side during any activity. You could tell Hoseok was furious – constantly shooting glares in Krystal’s direction – but there was nothing he could do without disrupting the whole alliance, and proving that he was indeed the psychopath he had revealed only to you in private.

You had spoken briefly to Finnick about things the night after the incident with Hoseok. As a mentor he wasn’t happy, but his hands were also tied as there was nothing he could do to interfere with another district. He had suggested he could speak to District 2’s mentor to try and get more information on Hoseok’s background but you had immediately shut that down, terrified that it would somehow get back to Hoseok and he would think you were reciprocating his own interest. The idea was also dangerous because it would expose just how threatened you were to their mentor, who could easily use that to their advantage when coming up with game tactics. Finnick had reluctantly agreed not to do anything, but turned the topic of conversation onto your remaining training time. He had suggested a focus on weapons, particularly knives given you already had some experience with them.

“Focus on what you already know,” he had said “Don’t waste time trying to learn new things that others are already experts with. You cannot hope to beat a master with only a few days of training. Hone the skills you already have.”

So that’s largely what you had spent the rest of your training time doing. By her own admission Krystal’s report card had suggested training with a weapon that could compliment her own agility, which worked out well with knives too, so you spent a lot of your time training together. You found out that despite being a District 1 tribute, she was also reaped, and not a volunteer, like yourself. But unlike you she had been trained at an academy, which was standard practice in 1. A far more interesting detail you had learned was she was Yoongi’s younger sister, and he had volunteered after her reaping. You filed that detail away in the back of your mind for future reference, grateful that some sort of partnership already existing in the alliance could potentially lessen the target on yourself later when it came to splitting.

You played off each other, regarding your knowledge of knives. Krystal was far more skilled in close range combat, and she gave you pointers when you trained in sparring using a prop version (made from a material of the same weight, which still caused some bruises, but wouldn’t actually cause stab wounds). She also helped you improve your skills in countering attacks and using a larger opponents’ body weight against them. Looking at Hoseok and Namjoon respectively you were terrified to know her lesson would very much be a life or death skill you needed to learn. In return you talked to her about your experiences with spear fishing and occasionally using a knife instead in shallow waters, passing on what you could about how to throw a knife. It was a skill you had picked up when you much younger, after being taught by your father when you were seven. Your mother had been furious when she found out and immediately banned you from knives until you were old enough to be working on the boat, but your father had still snuck in training sessions whenever the two of you were alone. It was never something you thought you would be using to potentially kill a human, rather than a salmon or tuna. You hadn’t even thought of it then, but it was likely his way of trying to prepare you for if your name was ever drawn from the reaping. Even though it was essentially impossible, a part of you desperately hoped you would survive in order to be able to thank your father in person.

You and Krystal worked well together, you had a natural chemistry, and both of you didn’t feel a need for wasting oxygen with meaningless small talk or chit chat. Your skills both complimented one another and you found yourself learning a lot. It wasn’t much of a bond from merely a couple of days, but you hoped whatever you had worked to build would translate into some sort of partnership in the arena.

The remaining of your training had passed as well as you could have hoped for right up until the final moments of the last day. You and Krystal had taken a bathroom break. Afterwards, when you were about to walk out of the washroom and back into the hallway outside, you could hear familiar voices beyond the door. Frowning, you opened the door just a crack to hear Namjoon talking to Yoongi, Hoseok and Athena.

“Seriously, she thinks you’re in love with her,” Namjoon laughed, clasping his hand on Hoseok’s shoulder. You felt the blood immediately drain from your face and a stone cold chill run throughout your body. You had seen Namjoon and Hoseok getting on better within the last day, but you weren’t expecting Namjoon to be at a level of already throwing you under the bus.

“Really? When did she say that?” you could hear Hoseok ask, although you couldn’t see him from the crack in the doorway.

“First day, back when she was in tears over that pathetic report,” Namjoon replied with a scoff. “Asked her what happened and she went on some crazed rant that you were going to save her. Honestly lost her mind on day one, why the hell we’re supposed to drag her around the arena is beyond me.”

“She’s not that bad, have you seen her throwing the knives with Krystal? Could be useful,” the only female voice had to have been Athena, and you made a mental note to thank her later.

“Please, she’s a baby. Wouldn’t be able to hurt a fly,” Namjoon scoffed. You wanted to storm out and show him how willing you would be to hurt him, but remembering a warning from Finnick held you back, ‘play along and act dumb so they think you trust them and are too stupid to make plans for yourself'. You couldn’t wait for the chance to stab Namjoon in the back at this rate.

“So why are we keeping her around then?” A bored voice you had rarely heard asked. That had to have been Yoongi.

“Her brains may be non-existent, but the empty head that carries her around isn’t too bad to look at. I say we keep her for the sponsors, get us some supplies from her capital fans. Maybe if we can get her to flash those perfect tits she’s covering up we can get extra out of them. Plus, if the arena gets cold I’m sure she can also make herself useful as a bed warmer too.” Your jaw dropped open at the vulgar way your supposed teammate was talking about you. You hadn’t even spoken to Namjoon since the incident on the first day, ignoring him whenever you were in the same living quarters and spending your training time with Krystal. Like hell you would be going anywhere near his ‘bed’ in the arena. Krystal looked equally as disgusted.

“Gross,” Athena deadpanned.

“What? It’s not like what I’m saying isn’t true, and it’s better her than you, right? Beautiful face, hot body, but not the sharpest tool in the shed. Throwing knives from a distance isn’t much of a threat in close combat so we can easily take her out at the end. Hey, Hoseok seeing she acts like you’re going to be her precious Romeo you can be the one to take care of our dear Juliet when the time co-” before you could snap and storm out to attack Namjoon yourself, Hoseok beat you to it. Like a viper, his hand shot out in lightning speed to grasp Namjoon by the throat and slam him into the nearest wall.

“Or how about I take care of you?” he practically purred, springing a jackknife he had somehow slipped into his clothing out and holding it against Namjoon’s throat, until you heard a scuffle of someone trying to pull him off. Yanking the bathroom door open you rushed out into the hallway, Krystal following quickly behind, to see Namjoon leaning against the wall rubbing his throat, as Athena and Yoongi restrained a livid Hoseok.

“What the hell is going on?” Krystal asked, looking between everyone. Even if you had overheard everything, you just stood there next to her, wanting to play up the ignorance they dismissed you as having.

Nobody answered, looking between each other as if waiting for them to be the first to talk. Of all people, it was surprisingly Yoongi to be the one to break the silence.

“Put that thing away,” Yoongi snapped, nodding at Hoseok’s flat knife. “Do you want us to all get beaten to a pulp by the guards before we even get to the arena?” Hoseok complied without any words, smoothly placing the knife back into a hidden pocket in the front of his pants.

“What the hell do we do now?” you asked, staring at the others. “A day before the games and a fight breaks out? How are we meant to work together in there?”

“Nothing changes,” Hoseok spoke. You frowned back, like hell nothing had changed.

“You just pulled a knife on my district partner,” you replied. You weren’t complaining but he didn’t need to know that.

“Nothing changes,” Namjoon repeated to your surprise.

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. We’re men. Men fight. Shit happens but we get it out of our system. Logically we’re still each others best bet in the arena.” Namjoon continued. You had to physically restrain yourself from rolling his eyes at the ‘men’ declaration.

“He’s right,” Hoseok agreed and all you could do was stare dumbly, wondering how the hell the two of them had gone from pulling a knife a second ago, to now suddenly agreeing.

“Like hell I’m leaving you, Athena isn’t leaving me, your district mate isn’t interested in leaving you either, and I assume Krystal has interests in working with you from all that training you’ve done together. Yoongi’s not going to leave his sister, so we’re all stuck together.”

“What if I don’t want to work with any of you?” you challenged.

Namjoon scoffed.

“If you really had the balls to walk away, you would’ve done it on day one. Especially given how I treated you when you were telling the truth.” You glared back at him for blatantly exposing you.

“If you split, you’re the easiest target for all the other tributes.” Hoseok stepped away from Yoongi and Athena to walk towards you. “That’s 18 other people trying to kill you, so you know I’m not going to let that happen. As I just told you, I’m not leaving you.”

You hadn’t heard much from Hoseok since that moment in the hallway on day one. A part of you had managed to convince yourself it was all a stunt, just like Namjoon had said, to psych you out and cause division in your alliance. Hearing him bluntly announce his intentions to the whole alliance, as he came to stand directly before you, caused the delusion to shatter.

“Leave her alone.” You were becoming so entranced by Hoseok’s presence that it took you a moment to process Krystal’s voice as she moved herself closer to you, standing so her shoulder was slightly in front of yours. Your heart momentarily warmed at the gesture before it was doused in the cold ice of your conscious as you remembered his sickening threats from the last time you and Hoseok were alone ‘I don’t care about the others… I’ll slaughter every one of them in cold blood… I’m going to kill them all for you baby and I’ll make you watch so you can see just how far I’ll go for you’

“No Krystal, don’t!” you cried in a panic as you reached out for Krystal and pulled her into a protective hug, putting your body in front of hers before Hoseok. “You don’t understand,” you whispered in a rush to try and explain. “He’s crazy, he said he was going to kill all of you. I tried to tell Namjoon and he didn’t believe me so I was too scared to tell anyone else, because I was scared you’d think I was crazy.”

You were trying not to cry, you couldn’t panic, you couldn’t be weak again like the state they had found you in last time, but it was so fucking hard. Why did you have to be reaped? Why did one of the tributes have to form an obsession with you? Why was your own district mate an asshole who had invalidated you when trying to protect the alliance? All you had wanted was to not be alone in the arena, and now you had a hope of someone you could trust and she was in danger because of you.

“It’s ok, I’m ok,” Krystal whispered back, patting your lower back reassuringly. But a sudden grasp on your waist from behind pulled you away, causing you to lose your hold on Krystal as you slammed backwards into a hard chest with a cry.

“Yoongi take care of your sister unless you want me taking care of her in the arena,” Hoseok’s voice hissed from behind your ears, making your blood run cold.

“No, don’t hurt her, please, please don’t hurt her,” you begged, twisting in Hoseok’s hold but his arms were locked around you tightly. Yoongi didn’t say a word, walking over to Krystal and putting his hand on her shoulder to lead her away. She initially moved to shake him off but you vigorously shook your head and mouthed ‘go’ to get her to leave.

“We’ll see you at the cornucopia tomorrow,” Yoongi turned back to say, before you exhaled in temporary relief as Krystal reluctantly left with her brother.

“Whatever you do with her, I don’t want any part of it. We’re aligned until six and then that’s it,” Athena sneered, drawing your attention over to her as she glared between Namjoon and Hoseok.

“Fine with me,” Hoseok shrugged. Namjoon who was now leaning casually against the wall merely nodded. You could swear you saw a torn look of sympathy from Athena in your direction, but it was gone in a second as she shook her head in disgust and walked off to re-join Krystal and Yoongi.

With Athena gone the tension that hung in the air was so thick it was suffocating. Namjoon continued to rest against the wall, his arms crossed over his wide chest watching as Hoseok still held you by the waist. With Krystal now safe with her brother away from him you realized there was no longer a need to stay compliant in his grip.

“Namjoon, help,” you hissed, trying to move your arms to shove Hoseok off but they were both pinned to your sides by his hold. Hoseok merely chuckled, instead flexing his muscles and causing his grip to tighten.

“No can do little dove,” Namjoon mocked with a pout, moving off from the wall to stand to his full height. “Your boyfriend here’s the one with the knife in his pocket, and I’m unarmed.”

Namjoon raised his hands in mock surrender, his long legs taking lazy steps to walk around the two of you. Hoseok turned, forcing you to turn with him, to avoid his back being left open. Namjoon ignored him, keeping his eyes on you.

“But don’t worry, because in that arena I’ll be armed, and I’ll take really good care of you then.”

“Like hell,” Hoseok scoffed causing Namjoon to laugh.

“Oh, would you look at the time?” Namjoon was now further down the corridor that separated the bathrooms from the training center, where he could see the large clock on the wall.

“Only five minutes left until end of training before they start preparing for our grading. I’ll leave you two alone for now, but don’t expect this generosity again from me in the arena, 2. I trust you won’t harm our little dove until then…”

And with that lingering comment, Namjoon was gone, abandoning you when you needed him.

You felt Hoseok’s arms beginning to loosen, briefly you thought he was going to release you. But instead you found yourself being turned around to face him and backed against the wall. Any thoughts of pushing him off vanished upon feeling the hard metal of the folded pocket knife pushing against your hip as he caged you in.

“What are you doi-” your question was cut off by Hoseok raising his hand to the side of your face and pushing his thumb over your mouth in warning.

For a moment Hoseok was still. He relished the feeling of your plump lips falling silent beneath his thumb, so pliant, like a kiss against his finger. He watched the rise and fall of your chest as you tried to regulate your breathing, inhaling deep breaths in through your nose causing your lungs to expand and your full breasts to push against his chest. Every little detail about you was so soft, so warm and inviting, like you had been designed purely for him. He was absolutely enamored by you and could spend the rest of his life in this exact moment, feeling you against him, but time was not on his side.

“Look at how they all just left you,” he maliciously purred, his eyes narrowing into a focused glare, “you know they’re going to do the same thing in the arena, darling.”

“That’s not true,” you hissed back, “Krystal tried to stay.”

“And yet all it took for her to leave was a simple pocket knife and her brother. And really, when it comes down to it, who do you think she will choose, Her brother or you?”

You tried to swallow the growing lump in your throat and stayed quiet… he’s just trying to psych you out.

“Meet us in the cornucopia tomorrow, you’ll be much safer with us six than left to fend off eighteen others on your own. You’re smart, you have to know they will chase down any career left alone.”

You frowned but nodded, you had already agreed on this, so you didn’t know why he was bringing it up again.

“Good girl, then you know you have to stay with me once we’re all together. Yoongi sees you as a threat to his sister. Your friendship makes her judgment weak so he will take you out if you’re alone with him. And like I just said, do you really want to side with Krystal when she would choose her brother over you at the end anyway? Athena is threatened by you; thinks you’re distracting me from protecting her in the game as part of our district alliance. I don’t blame her for that though, she is right. I would choose you over her. You know I’d choose you over any of them. And then of course there’s your own district partner, who I’m sure you just heard before… would you trust a man who wants to use your body to sell you to fans from the capital for supplies? The one who didn’t believe you when you tried to warn him about me? The one who just walked away and left you to me now?”

An aching wave of hopelessness washed over your body as you slumped back against the wall. If it wasn’t for Hoseok’s arm holding you upright, you would have just let yourself fall to the ground.

“Please stop,” you whispered, the lump in your throat felt like a golf ball choking you inside.

“I can’t, darling,” Hoseok murmured, his fingers over your lips moving to smooth the faint hairs that had come loose from training back behind your ear.

“Not until you understand that you need me in that arena.” His hand came to rest on the side of your cheek, cradling your face in his palm.

“I’ve trained for this my whole life, I’m the only one you can trust to protect you.”

“But how can I trust you? Like you just said you spent your whole life training for these games, training to kill people like me. It’s all hopeless, no matter who I choose.”

“Don’t say that,” He scolded, shaking you by the hold on your waist.

“You saw me pull that knife on Namjoon before, and I didn’t even know you were there. It’s exactly like I told you on the first day of training, I’ll kill anyone who tries to harm you. No one in that arena matters to me, only you. You’re mine.”

“How can you keep saying that!? We don’t even know each other. I don’t understand how you could possibly feel this way about me. It all just sounds like a cruel way for you to take me to the e-”

Hoseok’s mouth silenced your protests, his lips pushing against yours and hands holding you in place. His kiss was searing and dominant, offering no chance for refusal, though as you felt the shivers running down your spine, you didn’t know if you would have been capable if a chance were provided. You had found him physically attractive the moment you had met, and somehow it was like the passion you had seen in his eyes was magnified a hundredfold through his kiss. He was strong and powerful, yet simultaneously gentle. His arm supporting your waist held your body impossibly close to his, whilst the fingertips from his hand on your face were tenderly stroking the skin on your cheek.

Your eyes had unconsciously closed when his face had moved in to meet yours, which only seemed to heighten your other senses. The places where his body made contact with yours were tingling as if flames from a nearby fire were licking against your skin. Everything about Jung Hoseok was warm; his sun kissed skin, copper hair and the heat radiating from his body into yours. You were stunned, and in your frozen state Hoseok moved his lips against your pliant ones to deepen the kiss, the tip of his tongue dancing along the line of your mouth before sliding inside to meet your own tongue and try to coax it to return with his.

What somehow felt like an eternity was in reality a mere few seconds before an announcement echoed through speakers throughout the training center, instructing tributes to cease everything and make your way to a designated area for the mandatory final assessments to shortly begin. Hoseok broke the kiss, leaving you breathless as he whispered upon your lips,

“If you can’t believe my words, then believe that.”

Pressing his lips back to yours quickly once more, he finally pulled back.

“Come on, we have to go.”

You mutely allowed Hoseok to lead you out of the corridor and back into the training center where a Capitol representative with a clipboard was lining everyone up to be taken to the waiting area. There was no talking from anyone as you were all put into your lines and made to follow the representative into a smaller room, whilst the training center was to be rearranged. The waiting room was small and cold with metallic coloring. Black chairs were organized by districts and you were told that one by one you would be brought before the judges to present your chosen skill, where you would then be graded on a score out of twelve. The scores would be announced later in the afternoon, before your final interviews with Caesar Flickerman in the evening.

You wordlessly sat beside Namjoon, not even looking in his direction even though you could occasionally feel him trying to catch your eye. No doubt he would want to dissect your conversation with Hoseok but you had no interest in telling him about anything that had happened. Especially not after how he had treated you the last time you had tried to warn him. Instead you kept your eyes solely on the ground, nervously bouncing your leg as you worried about your upcoming grading.

Everything was happening so fast. It felt like only moments ago when your name had been reaped, since then you had already travelled by train, appeared in the parade and completed your three days of training. You felt sick in your stomach at the thought that the short time that had passed between your reaping and this very moment could possibly be longer than the time you had between now and when you would meet your end in the arena. You immediately tried to stamp that thought out, trying to hold back the overwhelming wave of grief threatening to crash over you. You couldn’t let yourself go down without a fight and giving in to the misery would only reduce you to a walking corpse.

“District 1, female.”

The man with the clipboard had returned to the room to officially begin the assessments. You noted how he didn’t even call for Krystal by her name, just a district number and her assigned gender. How cold and clinical, much like the room they were keeping you in. You wondered if reducing tributes to numbers without names made it possible for the man to sleep at night, knowing he was part of a system that sent innocent children to the slaughter every year.

“District 1, male.”

As Yoongi left with the clipboard man you couldn’t help but notice Krystal didn’t come back into the room with him. So you would be allowed to return to the dorm and prepare for the interviews as soon as you were done. You were grateful this would at least mean a few hours’ break from Hoseok, you would just have to lock yourself in your room quickly before Namjoon would finish after you, and try to interrogate you in your living quarters.

“District 2, female.”

No one had spoken since the line up. All too focused on mentally preparing for the assessment. You felt for the younger tributes who had never picked up a weapon before a week ago, now having to present themselves as fighters before a panel with only 3 days of training. Once again you were grateful for your father for his insistence on training you with a knife, which at least gave you somewhat of a starting point to work with.

“District 2, male.”

You kept your head down and eyes on the floor, watching as two pairs of shoes walked directly past you on their way out of the room.

“No kiss good luck?” Namjoon snickered next to you, deliberately keeping his voice quiet enough that only you could hear him.

You ignored him.

“What’s the matter, trouble in paradise?” he mocked again.

You continued to ignore him, making sure your eyes were pointed on the exact same spot you had been staring at on the ground since you had sat down. Your knee continued to bounce at the exact same pace. You didn’t want to give him a single flinch, not even a minute sign of a reaction, given that was exactly what he was trying to get. You wondered what he was trying to achieve by riling you up. Did he want you to snap back at him and get in trouble? There had been no specific instruction not to talk, the weight of the occasion had instead resulted in the silence, so you doubted it. Most probably, he wanted to get in your head and psych you out before your assessment, likely trying to lower your score. Internally you scoffed, it’s not like you were a major threat to him anyway. You both knew you weren’t a trained career like he was. He was already going to outscore you anyway.

“District 3, female.”

Namjoon had gone from dictating your alliance, to spitting in the face of your concerns, to now mocking you. You wondered if he would’ve treated an actual trained career better if someone had volunteered for the females of 4. Perhaps it was to do with his ego that Hoseok had singled you out and wanted to work with you, even though he was clearly the more powerful tribute between you. He had taken it as a threat. A threat to his chances if you did side with Hoseok given Hoseok and Namjoon were on near equal footing, and the thought you had chosen Hoseok could have been seen as some act of betrayal. Never mind the fact you had done everything you could to try and avoid Hoseok, including telling Namjoon himself and asking for his help. Was he really that stupid enough to be mad you didn’t continue to beg him after his rejection?

“District 3, male.”

You supposed if he hypothetically succeeded and did psych you out into getting a terrible score it would be his own way of re-establishing himself as the desired tribute from 4. A reminder over your head that you weren’t a real career, and being brought into their alliance was an act of charity. A mercy killing to grace you with their presence before taking you out later in the game as an easy option. You longed to prove him wrong. Not just him but Hoseok also, the both of them for thinking you were pathetic and in need of their protection. His mockery and attempted sabotage was only acting as fuel to your fire.

“District 4, female.”

Your head snapped up to see the clipboard man standing in front of you. Wordlessly you nodded and got to your feet. You ignored the feeling of the eyes from the other tributes in the room staring at you as you had to walk past them to the exit. You were lead back down the same pathway you had taken from the training complex to the waiting room, only this time when you re-entered the training center you were the only person inside. Clipboard man hung back in the corridor and the only other people you could see were the game makers through the window in their viewing room. The center layout had been rearranged, with dummies and targets placed in optimum viewing range from the game makers’ vantage point.

“L/N, F/N, District 4, Female, 18 years of age” a voice crackled through the speakers overhead by means of introduction, as you walked over to the marked spot on the floor you had been instructed to stand.

It was a strange feeling looking up at the pompous judges dressed in their flamboyant outfits with pretentiously fluorescent dyed hair and beards. It was as if they were dressed up for an expensive night on the town and you, and the other twenty-three, were their performers for the evening. It was weirdly easy to put the judges in the back of your mind, despite being able to clearly see the room of around twenty people intently staring at you with interest. The all looked so fictional and outlandish that it was easy to dismiss them as some sort of strange figment of your imagination. They didn’t look like real people, which somehow made it possible for you compartmentalize them as imaginary, and instead focus on the task at hand.

Looking at the assortment of weapons on display, you mostly ignored the large range on offer and went straight for the knives. Running your fingertips along the handles you picked out a hunting knife with a blade that would have been around 8 inches long. There were smaller, thinner, knives specifically made for throwing on offer, however the ones you had practiced with back at home were the larger kind on your boat. Gingerly you bounced the handle in your palm, trying to get a quick feel for the weight. Looking up you examined the range of targets that were on display – some quite close and others much further.

You went for the closest target, that was five meters away, as a warm up.

Thwack

The blade sailed easily through the air landing in the yellow zone, on the first circle outside of the bulls-eye. You shrugged your shoulders and rolled your neck with an exhale, not a bad start and a good way to get the nerves under control.

You retrieved a second knife from weapons trolley and took your aim for the next target that was ten meters away.

Thwack

Another yellow circle, except this time your knife landed in the second circle outside from the bulls-eye. Your pursed your lips with a shake of your head. It was still in a decent range but you were hoping to improve on your last throw rather than getting further from the bulls-eye.

You went back for another knife, choosing another one like the last two you had thrown, and lined up for the fifteen-meter target.

Thwack

Red zone, just outside the yellow. If you were aiming at a person, rather than a circle, that would have been lucky to connect. You let out a sharp exhale with a sigh, you weren’t doing bad – you’d made contact with all three targets so far – but you weren’t establishing yourself as a threat either. Not on the level that you knew the other careers were going to be scoring.

Returning to the weapons rack you found there to be one knife left that was in the same size range as the others you had used so far. You turned the knife over in your hand weighing up your final options. There was a final target twenty meters away, but with the rate you were throwing, you’d highly likely just continue to move further away from the bulls-eye. You could always try to throw on one of the other targets again and work to improve your existing result, but it would be difficult to improve much on the first impression of being ‘good, but not great’. Your last option would be the dummies. The dummies were situated on the opposite side of the targets and provided a more human edge to demonstrations. You had elected to use targets in the hope of showcasing solid aim through a bulls-eye, but that hadn’t exactly worked out. With one knife left you decided to try and showcase something a little more realistic.

The dummies were grey and faceless, just human shapes of rubber, which was a lot different from what you would be facing in real life within the arena. If you couldn’t land a shot on a stationary figure you were practically as good as dead. Not only did you need to prove a score to the judges, but you wanted this for your own confidence. With a frown, you turned and launched your blade ten meters across the room into the head of a dummy with a satisfying Thwack.

You didn’t bother to look up to the balcony and see their whispers and nods of approval, instead walking straight over to the dummy and pulling the knife out from the rubber. You weren’t finished yet; you were going to show them what a fishing district knew how to do best…

Grasping the handle, you plunged the blade into the sternum, deep enough to reach what would be the back bone of a human, and dragged the blade down to the pelvis. Pulling the knife out you made horizontal slashes along the chest and the hip where your line down the body had began and ended. Tossing the knife aside, you reached your hands inside of the dummy, pulling it open.

Granted the physical anatomies between a fish and a human were quite different, but the concept of gutting was quite easy to get across.

x

Once the assessment was over you were lead back to your living quarters. With the pressure subsiding and adrenaline wearing off, you found your hands beginning to tremble. You were thankful to have your water bottle as some sort of distraction, shakily taking sips to try and calm yourself down. By the time you finally arrived back to the dorm you were only able to answer Finnick’s “How did you go?” with a quick “fine” as you hurriedly rushed to your bedroom, not wanting to stick around and see Namjoon again until you absolutely had to.

The assessments were scheduled to run until 4:00pm, with the results being broadcast at 4:30pm, before tributes were due to report at the auditorium at 5:00pm to begin preparing for interviews. You were grateful to be from one of the earlier districts, which left you with more free time between the conclusion of your assessment and your next schedule. Your bedroom contained its own en suite bathroom so the first thing you did upon entering was strip off your clothes and head for the shower.

You spent a long time under the hot running water, sitting on the tiles and letting the shower cover up the sound of your crying. It had become somewhat of a routine for you to return from training and cry under the safety of your showerhead where no one else could see or judge you for it. The emotional toll it took to bury your feelings and avoid crying in the training center, in front of the career pack, in front of the judges, or out of fear every waking moment of your life now was strenuous. The shower was your haven, a place where you could wash away the sweat and grime from your day, and allow some form of pent up release. Today’s shower would be the longest one you had taken since entering the capital.

A knock and Finnicks’ muffled voice through the door told you it was after 4:00pm and the results would be broadcast soon, so you reluctantly turned off the taps and began to dry off. You were told that hair, make up and styling would take place in the auditorium later, so you dressed in the most comfortable clothing that you had been provided with; a cashmere sweater and matching sweatpants. You waited in your room as long as possible, before putting on a pair of slippers and walking out to the lounge room at 4:30pm.

Finnick, Periwinkle and Namjoon were all seated on the sofa facing the giant television, which was currently displaying Caesar Flickerman and a co-host you didn’t recognize behind a desk. Wordlessly you joined them, choosing a spot next to Periwinkle on the lounge, the opposite side of where Namjoon was sitting.

“And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the scores!”

You frowned at how enthusiastic Caesar seemed to be over his job. His mouth was spread into a wide grin, showing off his artificially white teeth, and his emerald green eyes (that had to be contact lenses) were practically glowing with excitement. You all sat in dead silence, if it weren’t for Caesar’s voice reading out District 1 you would have been able to hear a pin drop. The results weren’t surprising to you in the least. Krystal and Yoongi both scored 9s, Athena a 9 too and Hoseok 11. The girl from District 3 who had fallen in front of you on the monkey bars only managed a dismal score, the same as her district number. Her male partner only fared slightly better with a 5.

“District 4, F/N, L/N! Oh, she certainly captured many people’s attention at the parade, but is she as deadly as she is beautiful?”

You rolled your eyes with a scoff.

“You better not do that when he talks to you on stage,” Finnick warned.

You sarcastically put on an overly fake smile and fluttered your eye lashes back at him, until your expression was wiped blank by Caesar’s next words.

“Miss L/N, 10.”

Your jaw dropped as Periwinkle burst into enthusiastic applause, Finnick cocked an eyebrow with an impressed nod and Namjoon let out a low whistle.

“Someone’s been hiding something~,” Namjoon sing-songed as you closed your open mouth and took in a deep breath. You shook your head.

“Just the same knife throwing I’ve been practicing,” you replied.

Technically that was not a lie, just an omission of the gutting part. You wondered what it was about your little stunt that had pleased the judges so much. You were hoping to bump yourself to an 8 or 9 to at least try and blend in with the careers, instead you had somehow managed to establish yourself as a threat amongst them. With how much you had been pushed around so far you were glad to at least have one moment of impact. But now you had to be worried about the extra target being a threat could potentially put on your back.

Namjoon didn’t reply further as Caesar read his name and announced his score of 9.

You blanched. There was no way in hell you were more skilled than Namjoon was with a weapon. You looked over, expecting him to be furious, but he merely sat there with a content expression on his face nodding at the TV.

“Someone’s been hiding something,” you repeated Namjoon’s words back to him.

Namjoon’s only response was a smirk.

You didn’t like the way he looked like he knew far more than what he was sharing.

I'm a bit annoyed because I planned to combine the final training day and interviews into one chapter. But I found it was starting to get too long, as this part was already hitting 7000 words.

Next chapter will be the interviews and fallout from certain things the characters say in them

Chapter after will FINALLY be what everyone here wants (especially me) - the actual Hunger Games in the arena

Sorry to keep dragging it out, my brain hates me.

[feather-dancer]

⭐

I've noticed while I'm an angst magnet who occasionally wanders in fluffier directions my niche really seems to be in writing characters with mental health issues and oddly enough I never even intended it?

Jim having anxiety is a given of course, he does in canon, so it's not all that surprising my brain wandered off one afternoon wondering what would happen if he didn't have his support network after being bathtubbed. That one became Ghosts he left behind where we've had stress induced disassociation, dysphoria about his new body plus his fight with anxiety and panic attacks WHICH GIVEN HOW CHAPTER 3 ENDED he's tipping well into breaking point territory making it all the more critical they get hold of him before he completely gives into the monster he's terrified of being. He's fighting it with everything in his arsenal though, the biggest problem is he's been caught in a spiral of awful that is messing with his memories causing him to second guess and has no means of seeing a way out via someone he trusts so it only digs in deeper. Having been in one of these I've drawn on my own experience and they are godawful, this is the perfect storm for Jim to be hit by one and boy is it.

Plot aside in general nobody treats his anxiety as a funny personality quirk or Jim being dramatic, it's completely normalised and steps are in place to help when it has a !! moment which is a rarity in all fiction honestly? There has been a mention that he was on medication but the Darklands incident caused a "hiccup" in how effective they were, Toby mentioning he's particularly worried about that because something really must have freaked him out to not even contact Barbara from past experiences and Claire had been taught some CBT techniques as well. Brain having stupid moments is part of Jim that does not have an easy fix but you can be given means to cope which I hope other anxiety sufferers reading can appreciate. I've seen more than a few that just give him anxiety and either write it badly or he's the only one in the world who seems to and everyone else just ignores it.

Sensory overload has popped up a couple times as well which is another thing I get that does generally need specific circumstances to trigger depending on what your own flavour is. My BIG one is sound and Jim having heightened senses now is discovering how much they suck because it's all new and people are so noisy without realising it. This is part of the reason he keeps bolting for the same place in the woods: It's a lot quieter there and while anxiety brain will still kick off at least so many voices or strong smells from cars and general human habitation that don't seem to stop can't overwhelm his senses there. One less thing to worry about in an ocean of pear shape.

Sliiiight spoiler for As long as there are stars in the sky chapter 3 but Douxie has one here too because of extreme circumstances: Shunted in and out the Void with no warning (Thanks Kanjigar), the existing stress of the situation upped even more by being outted and worry for those outside plus he hadn't realised his bond with Archie got temporarily disrupted so he got slammed HARD with the panic belatedly when back in the Forge. The last was one thing too many, he hit the floor leaving familiar and Zoe to spring into action to ease him through it as it's one of the worst places it could have happened. It's not treated like a surprise to their party because they know him so well and recognise the signs and that it's very different from injury or panic attack because of that all important normalisation again whereas the trolls understandably have no idea . They're gonna need to come up with something suitable to explain it away without anyone finding out they're magic users sure but that is about pat and parcel of the hilarious mess that is this plot.

In Heart of Glass chapter 1 Douxie ended up having a straight up disassociation moment because one of his trauma triggers was (Unintentionally of course) mentioned and his brain just noped out the conversation breaking a pen in the process. How you react when one comes up is unpredictable at the best of times, he ended up going that route because he was already stressed while doing his best to hide that fact as much as possible essentially causing a bsod moment when the limit was shot through in an instant. The thing was even before it happened Archie sensed there was a potential incident waiting to happen and was trying to calm him down which unfortunately didn't work. That said his presence there helped him ease into the other side because even in his worst moments his familiar means safety able to keep alert for danger while being cuddled the shit out of. It had the added bonus of showing how close their bond is as well as just how traumatised the bean is in that verse centuries on without a laundry list of hows and whys.

I'm not sure where it falls under really but there's the touch averse thing that all variants of Douxie I write AU or not share. If it's on his terms or he knows/trusts you it's fine, if it's unexpected or he doesn't know who you are there is always that hitch of panic and looking for a polite out. Why? It can very quickly turn into a grab, the associations of being snatched up by knights or anyone else he's run into over the years remains firmly embedded in the Not Good category. Somewhat ironic when if he's comfortable he's a very touchy person and a hugger but that is of course on his own terms not anyone else's. Some trauma you simply cannot age away from, it’s stuck for life.

ANYWAY TANGENT ASIDE more mental health issues and reactions to trauma being normalised in the world they exist in and given the respect they deserve and not treated like a character trait please. If you can have a character be gay or Trans (Meeeee blatantly hinting Jim is Trans without saying he is is because it'd make no sense to in context is fun) or something like dyslexia without everyone making a big deal out of it you can have someone with anxiety without treating it like "oh they're just anxious lol". I write it myself in the hopes that it might help at least one person understand what it's like or better yet another see somebody writing it that understands what it's like and isn't using it for cheap shock value. I have to put up with all this shit it's about time it does something useful.

[jamestaylorswift]

My giant goes with me wherever I go: a study of the geographic metanarrative of folklore

This topic has been rattling around in my brain ever since I first heard folklore and I think it’s endlessly fascinating. Cue this lengthy but (hopefully) intriguing piece.

I’m afraid the title may not be an accurate reflection of this essay’s content, so here’s a preview of talking points: geography, existence, metanarrative, making sense of the theme of death, the “peace”/“hoax”/“the lakes” trio, history/philosophy, and exactly one paragraph of rep/Lover analysis (as a treat).

I make the standard disclaimer that analysis is by definition subjective. Additionally, many thanks and credit to anyone else who has written analysis of folklore. I am sure my opinions have been influenced by yours, even subconsciously.

Questions, comments, and suggestions are always welcome, and thank you for taking the time to read :)

——

“Traveling is a fool’s paradise. We owe to our first journeys the discovery that place is nothing. At home I dream that at Naples, at Rome, I can be intoxicated with beauty and lose my sadness. I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me in the stern Fact, the sad self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from. I seek the Vatican, and the palaces. I affect to be intoxicated with sights and suggestions, but I am not intoxicated. My giant goes with me wherever I go.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

——

If Taylor Swift’s music is anything, it is highly geographic. Taylor has been a country, pop, and now alternative artist, yet a storyteller through and through—one with a special knack for developing the aesthetic of songs and even entire records through location. The people and places she writes about seem to mutually breathe life into each other.

It is plausible that Taylor, as a young storyteller, developed this talent by using places as veritable muses just like she did anything else. Furthermore, her confessional storytelling became much more geographic as she shifted to pop because of factors including (though certainly not limited to) purchasing real estate, traveling more, writing in a genre that canonically centers coastal cities, and dating individuals with their own established homes. The geographic motif in her work is so identifiable that all of the corresponding details are—for better or worse—commensurate to autobiography.

However, folklore is not autobiographical in the way that most understand her other albums to be. The relationship between people and places in folklore is likewise much less symbiotic.

The first two songs on the record illustrate this. We are at bare minimum forced to associate the characters of Betty and James with New York: the lyrics about the High Line imply a fraction of their relationship took place in this city. Even so, this does not imply Betty or James ever permanently resided in New York, or that Betty is in New York at the moment she is narrating the story of “cardigan.” Taylor places far more emphasis on James and the nostalgia of youth, with “I knew you” repeated as a hook, to develop the emotional tone of the song. Rhode Island also comes to life in “the last great american dynasty” because of Rebekah Harkness’ larger-than-life character. But Taylor, following Rebekah’s antagonism, states multiple times throughout the song that the person should be divorced from the place. folklore locations are never so revered that they gain the vibrancy of literal human life. Taylor refrains from saying a person is a place in the same way that she has said that she is New York or her lover is the West Village.

For an album undeniably with the most concrete references to location, it is highly irregular—even confusing, given that personification is such a powerful storytelling device—that Taylor does not equate location with personal ethos.

Regurgitating the truism that geography equals autobiography proves quite limiting for interpreting Taylor’s work. How, then, should geography influence our understanding of folklore?

I submit that the stories in folklore are not ‘about’ places but ‘of’ places which are not real. Taylor’s autobiographical fiction makes the settings of the songs similarly fictionalized, metaphorical, and otherwise symbolic of something much more than geography. It is this phenomenon which emotionally and philosophically distinguishes folklore from the rest of her oeuvre.

——

As a consequence of Taylor’s unusual treatment of location, real places in folklore become signposts for cultural-geographic abstractions. Reality is simply a set of worldbuilding training wheels.

Prominent geographic features define places, which define settings. The world of folklore is built from what I’ve dubbed as four archetypal settings: the Coastal Town, the Suburb, the City, and the Outside World.

Each has a couple defining geographic features:

Coastal Town: water, cliffs/a lookout

Suburb: homes, town

City: public areas, social/nightlife/entertainment venues

The Outside World serves as the logical complement of the other three settings.

Understanding that real location in folklore is neither interchangeable nor synonymous with setting is crucial. Rhode Island is like the Coastal Town, but the two settings are not one and the same. The Suburb is an idyllic mid-America setting like Nashville, St. Louis, or Pennsylvania; it is all of those places and none of them at the same time. The City may be New York City, but it is certainly not New York City in the way that Taylor has ever sung about New York City before. The Outside World is just away.

Put simply, folklore is antithetical to Taylor’s previous geographic doctrine. While we are not precluded from, for instance, imagining the City as New York City, we also cannot and should not be pigeonholed into doing so.

Note:

This album purports to embody the stereotypically American folkloric tradition. “Outside” means “anywhere that isn’t America” because the imagery and associations of the first three cultural-geographic settings indeed are very distinctly American.

While Nashville and St. Louis are relatively big cities, they are still orders of magnitude smaller than New York and LA, the urban centers that Taylor normally regards as big cities. In context of this essay, the former locations are Suburban.

In this essay, the purpose of the term ‘of’ is simply to replace the more strict term ‘about.’ ‘Of’ denotes significant emotion tied to a place, usually because of significant time spent there either in the past or present (tense matters). Not all songs are ‘of’ places—it may be ambiguous where action takes place—and some songs can be ‘of’ multiple places due to location changing throughout the story. (This does not automatically mean that songs with more than one location are ‘of’ two places. A passing mention of St. Louis does not qualify “the last great american dynasty” as ‘of’ the Suburb, for example.)

Each of the four archetypal settings must instead be understood as an amalgam of the aesthetics of every real location it could be. Setting then exists in conversation with metaphor because we have a shared understanding of what constitutes a generic Suburb, City, or Coastal Town.

Finally, by transitivity, the settings’ metaphorical significance entirely hinges upon the geographic features’ metaphorical significance. This is what Taylor authors.

The next part of the essay is concerned with deciphering geography in folklore per these guiding questions: how is an archetypal feature used as a metaphor? By proxy, what does that say about the setting defined by it? What theme, if any, unites the settings?

The Coastal Town: Water and Cliffs

The Coastal Town is defined by elemental features.

The first (brief) mentions of water occur on the first two tracks:

Roarin’ twenties, tossing pennies in the pool

Leavin’ like a father, running like water

“the last great american dynasty” introduces the setting to which the pool (water) feature belongs, our Rhode Island-like Coastal Town. It also incorporates a larger water feature, the ocean, and suggests the existence of a lookout or cliffs:

Rebekah gave up on the Rhode Island set forever

Flew in all her Bitch Pack friends from the city

Filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names

//

They say she was seen on occasion

Pacing the rocks, staring out at the midnight sea

“seven” and “peace” also have brief mentions of water; however, note that these songs remain situated as ‘of’ the Suburb. (More on this later.)

I hit my peak at seven

Feet in the swing over the creek

I was too scared to jump in

But I’m a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm

If your cascade, ocean wave blues come

“my tears ricochet” and “mad woman” with their nautical references pertain to the water metaphor:

I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

Now I breathe flames each time I talk

My cannons all firin’ at your yacht

“epiphany” also counts, though with the understanding of “beaches” as Guadalcanal this song is ‘of’ the Outside World:

Crawling up the beaches now

“Sir, I think he’s bleeding out”

“this is me trying” and “hoax” reiterate the cliff/lookout geography:

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout

Could’ve followed my fears all the way down

Stood on the cliffside screaming, “Give me a reason”

Finally, “the lakes” features both water and cliffs:

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die

//

Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry

//

While I bathe in cliffside pools

With my calamitous love and insurmountable grief

In folklore, water dovetails with permanent loss.

“epiphany” is the most egregious example. Crawling up the beaches of a war zone proves fatal. “the lakes” describes grieving in water, perhaps for the loss of one’s life because there exist cliffs from which to jump. “this is me trying” and “hoax” mirror that idea. On the other hand, in “peace,” death does not seem to have any connection to falling from a height.

Loss can also mean loss of sanity, such as with the eccentric character of Rebekah Harkness or Taylor as a “mad woman” firing cannons at (presumably) Scooter Braun’s yacht.

Subtler are the losses alluded to in “my tears ricochet” and “seven,” of identity or image and childhood audacity, respectively. And in the opening tracks water is at its most benign, aligned with loss of a relationship that has run its course in one’s young adulthood.

The most fascinating aspect of water in folklore is that it is an aberration from water as the symbol for life/birth/renewal, derived from maternity and the womb. folklore water taketh away, not giveth.

As of now, the greater significance of the Coastal Town—the meaning to which this contradiction alludes—remains to be seen.

The City: Nightlife, Entertainment, and Public Areas

Preeminent in Taylor’s pop work is the City; New York City, Los Angeles, and London are the locations most frequently extolled as Swiftian meccas. This archetypal setting is given a more understated role in folklore.

“cardigan,” ‘of’ the City, illustrates this setting using public environments and nightlife:

Vintage tee, brand new phone

High heels on cobblestones

//

But I knew you

Dancin’ in your Levi’s

Drunk under a streetlight

//

I knew you

Your heartbeat on the High Line

Once in twenty lifetimes

//

To kiss in cars and downtown bars

Was all we needed

“mirrorball” paints the clearest picture of the City’s nightlife/social venues by sheer quantity of lyrics:

I’m a mirrorball

I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight

I’ll get you out on the floor

Shimmering beautiful

//

You are not like the regulars

The masquerade revelers

Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten

//

And they called off the circus, burned the disco down

“invisible string” briefly mentions a bar:

A string that pulled me

Out of all the wrong arms, right into that dive bar

In addition, “this is me trying” implies that the speaker may currently be at a bar, making the song partially ‘of’ the City:

They told me all of my cages were mental

So I got wasted like all my potential

//

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here

Pouring out my heart to a stranger

But I didn’t pour the whiskey

It goes almost without saying that the City at large is alcohol-soaked. Indeed, alcohol will help us understand this location.

Each of the aforementioned songs has a distinct narrator, like Betty in the case of “cardigan” or Taylor herself, at the very least in the case of “mirrorball” or at most all songs besides “cardigan.” And because the narrative character is so strong, I posit that the meaning of this geography is tied to what alcohol reveals about the speakers of the songs themselves.

“invisible string” and “mirrorball” are alike in the fact that the stories extend well beyond or even completely after nightlife. Meeting in a dive bar in “invisible string” is just the catalyst for a relationship that feels fated. Taylor, in her “mirrorball” musing, expresses concern about how she is perceived by someone close to her. Does existing after the fact (of public perception, at an entertainment venue) constitute an authentic existence? Alcohol, apparently a necessary part of City life, predates events which later haunt the speakers. Emotional torment is then what prompts the speakers to recount their stories.

On the other hand, alcohol directly reveals the emotional states of the speakers in “cardigan” and “this is me trying.” “cardigan” is Betty’s sepia-toned memory of her time with James, in which James’ careless, youthful spirit (“dancin’ in your Levi’s, drunk under a streetlight” and “heartbeat on the High Line”) inspires sadness and nostalgia for their ultimately temporary relationship (“once in twenty lifetimes”). “this is me trying” is tinged with the speaker’s bitterness; hopelessness and regret lead them to the bar and the destructive practice of drinking just to be numb.

These observations suggest that the City is also a site of grief or loss, though not for the same reason that the Coastal Town is. Whereas the Coastal Town is associated with a permanent ending such as death, the City reveals an ending that is more transitional and wistful, tantamount to a coming of age. There is a clear ‘before’ and ‘after’ to loss related to the City: life, though changed, goes on.

The Suburb: Homes and Towns

Noteworthy though the City and Coastal Town may be, the former in particular concerning the pop mythology of Taylor Swift, it is the Suburb which Taylor most frequently references in folklore and establishes as the geographical heart of the album.

The Suburb is defined by a home and town. A “home” encompasses entrances (front/side doors), back and front yards (gardens/lawns/trees/weeds/creeks), and interiors (rooms/halls/closets). The “town” is pretty self-explanatory, with a store, mall, movie theater, school, and yogurt shop.

Observe that the folklore Suburb is the aesthetic equivalent of the “small town” that provided the debut and Fearless albums’ milieu and inspired the country mythology of Taylor Swift. While Taylor primarily wrote about home and school on those albums (because, well, that was closer to her experience as a teenager), the “small town” and the folklore Suburb are functionally the same with regard to pace, quality, and monotonicity of life. Exhibit A: driving around and lingering on front doorsteps are the main attractions for young adults. (From my personal experience growing up in a Suburb, this is completely accurate. And yes, the only other attractions are the mall and the movie theater.)

The Suburb becomes a conduit for conflict.

Conflict that Taylor explores in this setting, including inner turmoil, dissension between characters, and friction between oneself and external (societal) expectations, naturally can be distinguished by distance [1] between the two forces in conflict. As an example, ‘person vs. self’ implies no distance between the sides because they are both oneself. ‘Person vs. society’ is conflict in which the sides are the farthest they could conceivably be from each other. Conflict with greater distance between the sides is usually harder to resolve. One must move bigger mountains, so to speak, to fix these problems.

The folklore Suburb is additionally constructed upon the notion of privacy or seclusion. We can imagine a gradient [2] of privacy illustrated by Suburban geography: the town is a less intimate setting than the outside of the home, which is less intimate than the inside of the home.

I combine these two ideas in the following claim: the Suburb relates distance between two forces in conflict inversely on the geographical privacy gradient. Put simply, the more intimate or ‘internal’ the setting, the farther the two sides in conflict are from each other.

(I offer this claim in the hopes that it will clarify the nebulous meaning of the Suburb in the next section.)

Salient references to the Suburban town can be divided into one of two categories:

Allowing oneself to hope

Allowing oneself to recall

“august” clearly belongs in the first category. Hope is central to August’s character and how she approaches her relationship with James:

Wanting was enough

For me, it was enough

To live for the hope of it all

Canceled plans just in case you’d call

And say, “Meet me behind the mall”

If we interpret the bus as a school bus then “the 1” also belongs in this first town category:

I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn’t though

//

I hit the ground running each night

I hit the Sunday matinee

“invisible string” indicates that the yogurt shop is equally innocent as Centennial Park. The store represents the hope of Taylor’s soul mate, parallel to her hope:

Green was the color of the grass

Where I used to read at Centennial Park

I used to think I would meet somebody there

Teal was the color of your shirt

When you were sixteen at the yogurt shop

You used to work at to make a little money

“cardigan” and “this is me trying” alternatively highlight the persistence of memory, with a relationship leaving an “indelible mark” on the narrators. These songs belong in the second category:

I knew I’d curse you for the longest time

Chasin’ shadows in the grocery line

You’re a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

James’ recollection qualifies “betty” for the second category as well. This song shows that emotional weight falls behind the act of remembering:

Betty, I won’t make assumptions

About why you switched your homeroom, but

I think it’s ‘cause of me

Betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard

When I passed your house

It’s like I couldn’t breathe

//

Betty, I know where it all went wrong

Your favorite song was playing

From the far side of the gym

I was nowhere to be found

I hate the crowds, you know that

Plus, I saw you dance with him

The surprising common denominator of these two categories is that conflict is purely internal in public spaces. Regardless of whether the speakers feel positively or negatively (i.e. per category number), their feelings are entirely a product of their own decisions, such as revisiting a memory or avoiding confrontation. This gives credence to the theory that the Suburb inversely relates conflict distance with privacy.

On the other extreme, the home is a site of conflict larger than oneself, and often more conflict in general. Conflict which occurs in the most private setting, inside the house, is conflict where the two sides are most distanced from each other. Conflict near the house, though not strictly inside, is closer, interpersonal.

“my tears ricochet” is just an ‘indoors’ song. The opening line depicts a private, funeral-like atmosphere:

We gather here, we line up, weepin’ in a sunlit room

There are multiple interpretations of this song floating around. The two prevailing ones are about the death of Taylor Swift the persona and the sale of her masters. In either interpretation, society and culture are the foundation for the implied conflict. First, the caricature of Taylor Swift exists as a reflection of pop culture; second, the sale of global superstar Taylor Swift’s masters is a dispute of such magnitude that it is not simply an interpersonal squabble.

For the alternative interpretation that “my tears ricochet” is about a dissolved relationship, “and when you can’t sleep at night // you hear my stolen lullabies” implicates Taylor Swift’s public catalogue (and thus Taylor Swift the persona) as the entity haunting someone else, as opposed to Taylor Swift the former member of the relationship.

“mad woman” is just an ‘outdoors’ song because of the line about the neighbor’s lawn:

What do you sing on your drive home?

Do you see my face in the neighbor’s lawn?

Does she smile?

Or does she mouth, “Fuck you forever”

It’s clear Taylor has a lot of vitriol for Scooter Braun. Though it’s probably a bit of both at the end of the day, I am comfortable calling their feud more of the ‘person vs. person’ variety than the ‘person vs. society’ variety.

Consequently, the privacy gradient claim holds for both songs.

“illicit affairs” is one of two songs with a very clear ‘transformation’ of geography:

What started in beautiful rooms

Ends with meetings in parking lots

In context, this represents the devolution of the relationship. External conflict, the illegitimacy of the relationship, defined the affair when it was in “beautiful rooms.” Relocating to the parking lot (i.e. now referencing the Suburban town) coincides with discord turning inward. Any external shame or scorn for both lovers as a consequence of the affair is replaced by the end of the song with anger the lovers feel towards each other and, more importantly, themselves.

“seven” is the best example of how many types of conflict are present in and around the home:

I hit my peak at seven

Feet in the swing over the creek

I was too scared to jump in

//

And I’ve been meaning to tell you

I think your house is haunted

Your dad is always mad and that must be why

And I think you should come live with me

And we can be pirates

Then you won’t have to cry

Or hide in the closet

//

Please picture me in the weeds

Before I learned civility

I used to scream ferociously

Any time I wanted

The first few lines exemplify ‘person vs. self’ conflict, a fear of heights. The third segment introduces a ‘person vs. society’ dilemma, shrinking pains as a result of socialization into gender norms. (I am assuming that the child is a girl.) The second verse indicates strife between a child and a father. It leaves room for three interpretations:

The conflict is interpersonal, so the father’s anger is wholly or partially directed at the child because the father is an angry person

The conflict is sociological, so the father’s anger is a whole or partial consequence of the gendered roles which the father and child perform

Both

Is curious that we need not regard sadness and the closet in “seven” as mutually inclusive. The narrator says the child’s options are crying (logical) or hiding in the closet. Both the father’s temper and the closet are facts of the child’s life, either innocuous or traumatic or somewhere in between.

But we might—and perhaps should—go further and argue that conflict in “seven” is necessarily sociological, and specifically about being civilized to perform heterosexual femininity. For, taken to its logical extreme, if only gender identity and not sexual identity incites anger, then men must be socialized to become abusive to women, who must be socialized to become submissive to that abuse. Screaming “ferociously” at any time would also denote freedom to be oneself despite men, not freedom to be oneself for one’s own gratification. Yet the child surely enjoys the second freedom at the beginning of the song. While the patriarchy is indeed an oppressive societal force, the interpretation of the social conflict in “seven” as only gendered yields contradiction. This interpretation is much more tenuous than acknowledging that the closet is, in fact, The Closet.

(Mere mention of a closet, the universal symbol for hiding one’s sexuality, immediately justifies a queer interpretation of “seven” notwithstanding other sociological and/or semantic technicalities. A sizable chunk of Taylor’s extensive discography also lends itself to queer interpretation by extension of connection with this song—for instance, by a shared theme of socialization as a primary evil. To me it seems silly at best and homophobic at worst to eschew the reading of “seven” presented here.)

It is undeniable that “seven” represents many types of conflict and places them inversely on the privacy gradient. The father embodies societal conflict larger than the young child and introduces that conflict inside the house. The child faces internal conflict (i.e. a fear of heights) and no conflict at all (i.e. freedom to act fearlessly) outside.

Reconciling “august,” “exile,” and “betty” with the privacy gradient actually requires a queer interpretation of the songs. To avoid the complete logical fallacy of a circular proof, I reiterate that the privacy gradient is simply a means of illustrating how the Suburb functions as an archetypal location. Queer interpretation is a sufficient but not necessary condition for an interesting argument about Suburban spatial symbolism. Reaching a slightly weaker conclusion about the Suburb without the privacy gradient would not impact the conclusions about the other three archetypal locations. Finally, queer (sub)text is a noteworthy topic on its own.

“betty” situates the front porch as the venue where Betty must make a decision about her relationship with James:

But if I just showed up at your party

Would you have me? Would you want me?

Would you tell me to go fuck myself

Or lead me to the garden?

In the garden, would you trust me

If I told you it was just a summer thing?

//

Yeah, I showed up at your party

Will you have me? Will you love me?

Will you kiss me on the porch

In front of all your stupid friends?

If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it?

Will it patch your broken wings?

Influencing Betty’s decision is her relationship with her “stupid” (read: homophobic) friends who don’t accept James (and/or the idea of James/Betty as a pair), her own internalized homophobia, and the trepidation with which she may regard James after the August escapade. The conflict at the front door is external/societal, interpersonal, and internal.

The garden differs from the front door as an area where James and Betty can privately discuss the August escapade. By moving to the garden, the supposed root of their conflict shifts from the oppressive force of homophobia to James’ behavior regarding the love triangle (“would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?”). Much like in “illicit affairs,” motion along the privacy gradient underscores that micro-geography is inversely related to conflict distance.

Next, the implied settings of “august” are a bedroom and a private outdoor location such as a backyard:

Salt air, and the rust on your door

I never needed anything more

Whispers of "Are you sure?”

“Never have I ever before”

//

Your back beneath the sun

Wishin’ I could write my name on it

Will you call when you’re back at school?

I remember thinkin’ I had you

The backyard holds a mixture of ‘person vs. self’ and ‘person vs. person’ conflict. August’s doubts about James manifest as personal insecurities. However, James, by avoiding commitment, is equally responsible for planting that seed of doubt.

The song’s opening scene depicts a young adult losing their virginity. The bedroom can thus be conceptualized as a site of societal conflict because the queer love story expands this location to the geographical manifestation of escapism and denial. James runs off with August as a means to ignore externalized homophobia from a relationship with Betty, who has homophobic friends. Yet they eventually ditch August for Betty, either because of intense feelings for Betty or internalized homophobia—the relationship with August was too perfect, too easy.

“betty” and “august” are consistent with the gradient theory provided we interpret the love triangle narrative as queer. Identity engenders conflict in these songs. The characters then confront the conflict vis-à-vis location. ‘Indoors’ becomes the arena for confronting issues farther from the self, namely concerning homophobia. ‘Outdoors’ scopes cause and therefore possible resolution to individuals’ choices.

Last but not least, consider “exile,” the song with strange staging:

And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Holdin’ all this love out here in the hall

//

You were my crown, now I’m in exile, seein’ you out

I think I’ve seen this film before

So I’m leaving out the side door

“I’m in exile, seein’ you out” and “I’m leaving out the side door” contradict each other. The speaker, “I,” seeing their lover out means that the speaker remains inside the house while their lover leaves. But the “I” also leaves through the side door. Does the speaker follow their lover out? If so, then whose house are they leaving? It is most likely a shared residence. They plan on coming back.

Taylor said in an interview [3] that the verses, sung by different people, represent the perspectives of the two lovers. The “me” in the first segment is the “you” in the second. So our “I” is left in the hall too. Both individuals  in the relationship are implied to leave and stay at different times.

An explanation for this inconsistency lies in the distinction between doors. A front door in folklore is symbolic of trust, that which makes or breaks a relationship (see: Betty’s front door and the door in “hoax”). It also forces sociological conflict to be resolved at the interpersonal level, lest serious problems hang out in the open. Fixing the world at large is usually impossible, and so front doors only create more issues. (The mountains, as they say, are too big to move.) The main entrance is thus a site for volatility and high stakes.

“exile” suggests that a shared side door is for persistent, dull, aching pain. This door symbolizes shame which is inherent to a relationship. It forces the partners to come and go quietly, to hide the existence of their love. Inferred from a queer reading of “exile” is that it is homophobia that erases the relationship. Conflict with society as evinced in individuals is once again consistent with the staging at the home.

Note that few (though multiple) explanations could resolve the paradox between intense shame in a relationship and the setting of a permanent shared home. Racism, for example, may be a reason individuals hide the existence of a loving relationship. Nevertheless, the overall effect of Taylor’s writing is that it is believable autobiography. It is unlikely that she’s speaking about racism here, least of all because there are two other male characters in the song. So a slightly more uncouth name for “exile” would be “the last great american mutual bearding anthem.”

To summarize, the Suburb is an archetypal setting constructed upon the notion of privacy. Taylor makes the folklore Suburb the primary home (no pun intended) of conflict of all kinds. Through an intimate, inverse relationship between drama and constitutive geography, Taylor argues that unrest and incongruity are central to what the Suburb represents.

The Outside World

The final archetypal setting is the complement to the first three—a physical and symbolic alternative.

The Guadalcanal beaches in “epiphany” (which are also alluded to in “peace”) contrast the homeland in “exile” through a metaphor about war. The Lake District in England is opposite America, the setting of most of folklore. The Moon, Saturn, and India are far away from Pennsylvania, the setting of “seven.” India quantifies the lengths to which the speaker of the song would go to protect the child character, while astronomy abstracts the magnitude of the speaker’s love.

This archetypal setting is symbolic of disengagement and breaking free from limitations. Moving to India in “seven” is how the speaker and child could escape problems at the child’s home. Analogizing war with the pandemic in “epiphany” removes geographical and chronological constraints from trauma.

The Lake District is where Taylor, a poet, goes to die. The line “I don’t belong and, my beloved, neither do you” could also suggest that this location is where Taylor and her muse break free from being outcasts (i.e. they find belonging). Regardless, the Lake District is where she disengages from the ultimate limitation of life itself.

——

How is an archetypal feature used as a metaphor? By proxy, what does that say about the setting defined by said feature?

Analysis of each archetypal feature yielded the following:

The Coastal Town is representative of permanent loss/endings

The City is representative of transitional loss/endings

The Suburb is the site of character-defining conflict

The Outside World is freedom from the constraints of the other settings

What theme unites these settings?

Though the majority of songs in folklore are anachronistic, the album has a temporal spirit. Geography seems to humanize and animate folklore: the meanings of the settings mirror the stages of life.

(The theoretical foundation for this claim is a topology of being; that the nature of being [4] is an event of place.)

The City, characterized by transition, is the coming-of-age and the Coastal Town, characterized by permanent endings, is death.

The Outside World, an alternative to life itself, is hence a rebirth. (After all, Romantic poets experienced a spiritual and occupational rebirth upon retiring to the Lakes to die. We remember them by their retreat.)

Outwardly, the Suburb is ambiguous. It could be representative of adolescence or adulthood—before or after the City. Analysis shows that this setting is nothing if not complex. Adult Taylor writes about the Suburb as someone whose opinion of this setting has unquestionably soured since adolescence. Yet she also approaches the Suburb with the singular goal of creating nuance, specifically by exposing unrest and incongruity which the setting usually obfuscates. This setting, ironically one that is (culturally) ruled by haughty adolescents, is where she explores the myriad subtleties and uncertainties coloring adulthood. The Suburb thus cannot be for adolescence because James is 17 and doesn’t know anything. Taylor intentionally situates the Suburb between the City and Coastal Town as the geographic stand-in for a complicated adulthood.

Despite genre shifts, Taylor has always excelled at establishing a clear setting for her songs. She is arguably even required to establish setting more clearly for folkloric storytelling than for her brand of confessional pop. If we can’t fully distinguish between reality and fiction, we must be able to supplement our understanding of a story with strong characterization, which is ultimately a byproduct of setting. Geography is a prima facie necessity for creating folklore.

This further suggests that the ‘life story’ told through geography is the thing closest to a metanarrative of folklore.

I use this term to refer to an album’s overarching narrative structure which Taylor creates (maybe subconsciously) in service of artistic self-expression. Interrogating ‘metanarrative’ should not be confused with the protean, impossible, and distracting task of deciphering Taylor Swift’s life. True metanarrative is always worth exploring. Also, though some conclusions about metanarrative may seem more plausible than others, at the end of the day all relevant arguments are untenable. Only Taylor knows exactly which metanarrative(s) her albums follow, if any. It is simply worth appreciating that folklore allows an interesting discussion about metanarrative in the first place; that it is both possible to find patterns sewn into the fabric of the work and to resonate with that which one believes those patterns illustrate. I digress.

folklore is highly geographic but orthogonal to all of our geographic expectations of mood or tone. Through metaphor, Taylor upends our assumptions about the archetypal settings.

The Outside World is usually a setting which represents a brief and peaceful respite for travelers. Here, it is the setting for complete and permanent disengagement. Hiding and running away was a panacea in reputation/Lover, but in folklore, finding peace in running and hiding becomes impossible.

The City is usually regarded as a modern Fountain of Youth and, in Taylor’s work, a home. However, the folklore City’s shelter is temporary and its energy brittle, like the relationship between the characters that inhabit it. The City has lost its glow.

One would expect the Coastal Town to be peaceful and serene given its small size and proximity to water. Taylor makes it the primary site of death, insanity, permanent loss. The place where one cannot go with grace is hardly peaceful.

The Suburb is not the romanticized-by-necessity dead end that it is in a Bildungsroman like Fearless. Rather, it is the site of great conflict as a consequence of individual identity. The American suburb is monolithic by design; Taylor points the finger of blame back at this design for erasing hurt and trauma. By writing against the gradient of privacy, she obviates all simplicity and serenity for which this location is known. Bedrooms no longer illustrate the dancing-in-pjs-before-school and floodplain-of-tears binary. Front porches become more sinister than the place to meet a future partner and rock a baby. Characters’ choices—often between two undesirable options in situations complicated by misalignment of the self and the world at large—become their biggest mistakes. It is with near masochistic fascination that Taylor dissects how the picturesque Suburban façade disguises misery.

If we have come to expect anything from Taylor, it is that she will make lustrous even the most mundane feelings and places. (And she is very good at her job.) folklore is a departure from this practice. She replaces erstwhile veneration of geography itself with nostalgia, bitterness, sadness, or disdain for any given setting. folklore is orthogonal to our primary expectation of Taylor Swift.

Yet another fascinating aspect of folklore is the air of death. It’s understandable. Taylor has ‘killed’ relationships, her own image, and surely parts of her inner self an unknowable number of times. Others have tarnished her reputation, stolen her songs, and deserted her in personal and professional life. She perishes frequently, both by her own hand and by the hands of others. The losses compound.

I’ve lost track of the number of posts I’ve seen saying that folklore is Taylor mourning friendships, love, a past self, youth…x, y, z. It has literally never been easier to project onto a Taylor Swift album, folks! At the same time, it is very difficult to to pinpoint what, exactly, Taylor is mourning. To me, listing things is a far too limited understanding of folklore. The lists simply do not do the album justice.

Death’s omnipresence has intrigued many, and I assert for good geographic reason. Reinforcing the album’s macabre undertone is nonlinear spatial symbolism: each setting bares a grief-soaked stage of a single life. From the City to the Suburb, Coastal Town, and Outside World, we perceive one’s sadness and depression, anger and helplessness, frustration and scorn, and acceptance, respectively. folklore holds a raw, primal grief at its core.

The geographic metanarrative justifies Taylor’s unabridged grieving process as that over the death of her own Romanticism. For the album’s torment is not as simple as in aging or metamorphosis of identity, not as glorified or irreverent as in a typical Swiftian murder-suicide, not as overt as in a loss with something or someone to blame. folklore is Taylor’s reckoning with what can only be described as artistic mortality.

——

To summarize up until this point: geography in folklore is not literal but metaphorical. The artistic treatment of folklore settings evinces a ‘geographic metanarrative,’ a close connection between settings and the stages of a life spent grieving. I propose that this life tracks Taylor’s relationship to her Romanticism. folklore follows the stages of Taylor’s artistic grief, so we will see that the conclusion of the album brings the death of Taylor’s Romanticism.

It is important to distinguish between the death of Romanticism in general and the death of Taylor’s Romanticism. folklore presents an argument for the latter.

A central conceit of Romanticism is its philosophy of style:

The most characteristic romantic commitment is to the idea that the character of art and beauty and of our engagement with them should shape all aspects of human life.…if the romantic ideal is to materialize, aesthetics should permeate and shape human life. [5]

Romanticism is realized through imagination:

The imagination was elevated to a position as the supreme faculty of the mind.…The Romantics tended to define and to present the imagination as our ultimate “shaping” or creative power, the approximate human equivalent of the creative powers of nature or even deity. It is dynamic, an active, rather than passive power, with many functions. Imagination is the primary faculty for creating all art. On a broader scale, it is also the faculty that helps humans to constitute reality…we not only perceive the world around us, but also in part create it. Uniting both reason and feeling…imagination is extolled as the ultimate synthesizing faculty, enabling humans to reconcile differences and opposites in the world of appearance. [6]

Imagination then engenders an artist-hero lifestyle [7]. This is similar—if not identical—to what we perceive of Taylor Swift’s life:

By locating the ultimate source of poetry in the individual artist, the tradition, stretching back to the ancients, of valuing art primarily for its ability to imitate human life (that is, for its mimetic qualities) was reversed. In Romantic theory, art was valuable not so much as a mirror of the external world, but as a source of illumination of the world within.…The “poetic speaker” became less a persona and more the direct person of the poet.…The interior journey and the development of the self recurred everywhere as subject material for the Romantic artist. The artist-as-hero is a specifically Romantic type.

Taylor’s Romanticism is thus her imagination deified as her artist-hero.

Moreover, the discrepancy between perceptions of grief in folklore is a consequence of the death of her Romanticism.

We (i.e. outsiders) naturally perceive the death of the Romantic as the death of Romantic aesthetics. Hence the lists upon lists of things that Taylor mourns instead of celebrates.

Taylor seems to grieve her Romantic artist-hero. Imaginative capacity predicates an artist-hero self-image, so conversely the death of the Romantic strips imagination of its power. The projected “fantasy, history, and memory” [8] of folklore indeed unnerves rather than comforts. The best example of this is from a corollary of the geographic metanarrative. Grief traces geography which traces life, and life leaks from densely populated areas to sparsely populated areas (it begins in the City and ends in the Outside World). Metaphorical setting, a product of imagination, aids the Romantic’s unbecoming. So, imagination is not a “synthesizing faculty” for reconciling difference; it is instead a faculty that divides.

Discriminating between the death of Romanticism in general and the death of Taylor’s Romanticism contextualizes folklore’s highly individualized grief. It is hard to argue that Taylor Swift will ever be unimaginative. But if we assume that she subscribes to a Romantic philosophy, then it follows that confronting the limits of the imagination is, to her, akin to a reckoning with mortality, a limit of the self.

——

folklore follows the stages of Taylor’s artistic grief. The album ends with Taylor accepting of the death of her Romanticism and being reborn into a new life. The final trio of songs, set ‘of’ the Suburb, Coastal Town, and Outside World in turn, frame the album’s solitary denouement.

In truth, “peace” is hardly grounded in Suburban geography. The nuance in it certainly makes it a thematic contemporary of other songs belonging to the Suburb, however. And consider: the events of “peace” are after the coming-of-age, the City; defining geographic features of the Coastal Town and Outside World are referenced in the future tense; an interior wall, the closest thing to Suburban home geography, is referenced in the present tense:

Our coming-of-age has come and gone

//

But I’m a fire and I’ll keep your brittle heart warm

If your cascade ocean wave blues come

//

You paint dreamscapes on the wall

//

And you know that I’d swing with you for the fences

Sit with you in the trenches

Per tense and the geographic metanarrative, “peace” is Suburban and is the first story of this trio. “hoax” and “the lakes” trivially follow (in that order) by their own geography.

The trio is clearly a story about Taylor and her muse. Understanding perspective in these songs will help us reconcile the lovers’ story and the geographic metanarrative.

We must compare lines in “peace” and “hoax” to determine who is speaking in those songs and when. Oft-repeated imagery makes it challenging to find a distinguishing detail local only to the trio. I draw attention to the affectionate nickname “darling”:

And it’s just around the corner, darlin’

'Cause it lives in me

Darling, this was just as hard

As when they pulled me apart

These two mentions are the only such ones in folklore. Whoever sings the first verse of “peace” must sing the bridge of “hoax” too.

“hoax” adds that the chorus singer’s melancholy is because of their faithless lover:

Don't want no other shade of blue but you

No other sadness in the world would do

Augmenting Lover is an undercurrent of sadness to which Taylor alludes with the color blue. By a basic understanding of that album, Taylor sings the “hoax” chorus.

The fire and color metaphors in tandem make the “hoax” verse(s) and bridge from the perspective of the lover who is burned and dimmed by the energy of their partner, the “peace” chorus singer:

I am ash from your fire

//

But what you did was just as dark

But I’m a fire and I’ll keep your brittle heart warm

Finally, a motif of an unraveling aligns the “hoax” verse(s) and bridge singer:

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars

From when they pulled me apart

//

My kingdom come undone

The “hoax” verse(s), chorus, and bridge are all sung by the same person.

In sum: Taylor sings the first verse of “peace” and her lover sings the chorus of “peace.” (See this post for more on “peace.”) Taylor alone sings “hoax.” “the lakes” is undoubtedly from Taylor’s perspective too.

Now let’s examine “peace” more closely:

Our coming-of-age has come and gone

Suddenly this summer, it’s clear

I never had the courage of my convictions

As long as danger is near

And it’s just around the corner, darlin’

‘Cause it lives in me

No, I could never give you peace

But I’m a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm

If your cascade, ocean wave blues come

All these people think love’s for show

But I would die for you in secret

The devil’s in the details, but you got a friend in me

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

Taylor’s lover has the temerity to die for her in secret. We can infer from the first verse that Taylor’s coming-of-age brings not the courage her lover possesses but clarity about an unsustainable habit. She realizes that she cherishes youthful fantasies of life (such as “this summer,” à la “august”) for mettle. This apparently knocks her out of her reverie.

The recognition that being an artist-hero hurts her muse frames the death of Taylor’s Romanticism. It is impossible for Taylor to both manage an unpleasant reality and construct a more peaceful one using her Romantic imagination. The rift between her true lived experience (“interior journey”) and the experience of her art (“development of the self”) is what fuels alienation from Romance. The artist is unstitched from the hero.

“hoax” continues along this line of reasoning. In this song, she admits that she has been hurt by herself:

My twisted knife

My sleepless night

My winless fight

This has frozen my ground

As well as by her lover:

My best laid plan

Your sleight of hand

My barren land

I am ash from your fire

And by others:

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars

From when they pulled me apart

The bridge marks is the turning point where she lets go of of her youth and adulthood, both of which are tied to her Romanticism through geography:

You know I left a part of me back in New York

You knew the hero died so what’s the movie for?

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars

From when they pulled me apart

You knew the password so I let you in the door

You knew you won so what’s the point of keeping score?

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars

From when they pulled me apart

Of utmost importance is the very first line. The muse to whom Taylor addresses “hoax” is said to have been present at Taylor’s side through all of her struggles (“you knew”). The first line reveals that the lover did not know that Taylor left a part of herself back in New York (“you know [now]”). Taylor is only sharing her newfound realization as she stands on the precipice of the Coastal Town.

Nearly imperceptible though this syntactic difference is, it is an unmistakable reprise of the effect of the verses and chorus of “cardigan.” (Coincidentally, references to New York connect the songs.) “Knew” and “know” in both songs underscore a difference between what a character remembers (or had previously experienced) and what they understand in the current moment (or have just come to realize). Betty realizes at the very moment that she narrates “cardigan” that it was a mistake to excuse James’ behavior as total ignorance and youthful selfishness. Taylor realizes in “hoax” that she can no longer cling to youth, the romanticization of her youth, or romanticization of the romanticization of her youth. The youth in her is gone forever because she is no longer attached to the City. The adult in her has also matured for she is past the Suburb as well. The Coastal Town thus very appropriately stages the death of her Romantic.

Anyone who listens to Taylor’s music has been trained to connect geography to the vitality of Romantic artist-hero Taylor. In short, aestheticized geography renders Taylor’s Romantic autobiography. By letting go of the parts of her connected to geography, Taylor abandons the Romantic aesthetics both she and listeners associate with location. Divorcing from aesthetics also pre-empts romanticization of location in the future. The bridge of “hoax” is thus most easily summarized as the moment when any fondness for and predisposition towards Romance crumbles completely.

Lastly, we must pay special attention to micro-geography in the “hoax” chorus. We recall from “the last great american dynasty” and “this is me trying” the insanity that consumes the characters who contemplate the cliffs. The Coastal Town is not a beautiful place to die; one is graceless when moribund:

They say she was seen on occasion

Pacing the rocks, staring out at the midnight sea

I’ve been having a hard time adjusting

//

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout

Could’ve followed my fears all the way down

From “peace” we know that Taylor’s lover is willing to die for her, in particular if Taylor’s sadness becomes too great (i.e. if she goes to the sea).

But I’m a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm

If your cascade, ocean wave blues come

All these people think love’s for show

But I would die for you in secret

The “hoax” chorus is when Taylor’s sadness balloons. Taylor the Romantic is ready to die:

Stood on the cliffside screaming, "Give me a reason"

Your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in

Don't want no other shade of blue but you

No other sadness in the world would do

Remember Rebekah, pacing the rocks, staring out at the midnight sea. Taylor is in this same position, on the cliffs, facing the water. Why is she screaming? Taylor is yelling down at her lover, who has already died (in secret, of course) and is in the water below waiting to catch her. (“I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below,” anyone?) Taylor’s singular faith is in her lover, and Taylor wants them to promise to catch her when she falls. In the end, though, the inherent danger nullifies what the lover could do to convince Taylor that the two would reunite safely below.

Taylor examines the water and realizes that her lover’s hue is combined with the blue of the sea. The sea cannot promise to catch her. Already mentally reeling, the admixture of sadnesses—in the setting which represents the culmination of life—makes Taylor recalcitrant. The Coastal Town has too much metaphorical baggage. It is not the place Taylor leaps from the cliffs. The first line of the “hoax” chorus uses “stood,” which implies that Taylor is reflecting on this dilemma after the fact.

The outro reinforces that the Coastal Town is where Taylor the Romantic comes to term with death but does not actually die:

My only one

My kingdom come undone

My broken drum

You have beaten my heart

Don’t want no other shade of blue but you

No other sadness in the world would do

Romantic imagination cannot protect Taylor from all the hurt she has suffered in reality. A calm settles over her as the chords modulate to the relative major key. She reflects on her journey: “my only one” corresponds to the first verse which introduces her solemn situation; “my kingdom come undone” ties to the self-inflicted hurt that froze her ground; “my broken drum // you have beaten my heart” supplements the second verse about suffering from her lover’s duplicity. The last lines are again her rationale for not jumping from the rocks. Finally, after the album-long grieving period, Taylor the Romantic has made peace with her inevitable death.

Romanticism is Taylor’s giant which goes with her wherever she goes. Running, hiding, traveling, and uprooting are indeed the fool’s paradise in her previous albums. Impermanence of setting—roaming the world for self-culture, amusement, intoxication of beauty, and loss of sadness [9]—engenders an impermanence of self, which fuels the instinct to cling tightly to what does remain constant. Naturally, then, Romanticism is Taylor’s only enduring companion. It becomes the lens through which she understands the world, yet the rose-colored one which by virtue inspires problems on top of problems. Forevermore does her Romantic inspire a cycle of catharsis that plays out in real life. Thy beautiful kingdom come, then tragically come undone.

Taylor chooses to go to the Lakes to escape from the constraints of this cycle:

Take me to the Lakes where all the poets went to die

I don’t belong and, my beloved, neither do you

Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry

I’m setting off, but not without my muse

Of the death story in the “peace”/“hoax”/“the lakes” trio, it is impossible to ignore the mutualism of Taylor and her muse. Neither of them belong of this life—and ‘of’ American geography—anymore. Taylor’s last wish is to go to the Outside World and jump (“[set] off”) from the Windermere peaks with her muse, who is ever willing to both lead Taylor to the dark and follow her into it.

Taylor bids a final goodbye—appropriately, in the tongue of Romance—to the philosophy which has anchored her all this time:

I want auroras and sad prose

I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet

'Cause I haven’t moved in years

And I want you right here

Romanticism, her art and life in tandem, brought Taylor what she values: union with her muse in the privacy of nature and her imagination. The final ode holds respect.

Finally, her death. The journey of grief concludes with Taylor both accepting death and, fascinatingly, being reborn into a new life:

A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground

With no one around to tweet it

While I bathe in cliffside pools

With my calamitous love and insurmountable grief

In keeping with metaphorical geography, old life dwindling in water is exactly concurrent with new life flourishing on land.

Observe that the rebirth concerns ice frozen ground, an element of “hoax,” which is set in the Coastal Town. The rebirth must happen back in America even though the death happens at the Lakes.

Despite the imagery, this is not a Romantic rebirth. Begetting a new life is the juxtaposition of two things Taylor once romanticized toward opposite extremes—a red rose for beauty and an ice frozen ground for tragedy—with her simple refusal that either be distorted as externalities of her experience.

This final stanza is wide open for interpretation with regards to the story of the two lovers. It allows a priori all permutations of Taylor and/or her muse experiencing rebirth as the red rose and/or the frozen ground:

Taylor and her lover experience a rebirth together

Taylor is the red rose and her lover is the ice frozen ground

Taylor is the ice frozen ground and her lover is the red rose

Taylor and her lover are indivisible: they are both the rose and the frozen ground

Taylor alone experiences a rebirth

Taylor is the rose

Taylor is the ice frozen ground

Taylor is the rose + ice frozen ground

The lover alone experiences a rebirth

The lover is the rose

The lover is the ice frozen ground

The lover is the rose + frozen ground

(2) and (3) make death at the end of “the lakes” purely sacrificial. This is inconsistent with the disproportionate emphasis placed on the lovers’ mutualism. I am thus inclined to dismiss (2) and (3) as consequences of combinatorics.

There are also two interpretations of the final lines of the bridge:

Taylor the Romantic is the implied ‘I’ overcome with grief; her muse is her calamitous love with whom she bathes

Taylor the Romantic possesses both calamitous love and insurmountable grief; her lover, as per usual, dies with her in secret

It is unclear which is the truth. Still, (1) is relatively straightforward: there are two entities said to bathe in the Lakes and two entities said to be involved in reincarnation.

There need not be ‘parity’ between old life and new (reincarnated) life with respect to the lovers’ relationship status. If Taylor’s muse dies, does her relationship dissolve? Or must her muse, who dies at Taylor’s side, be reborn at her side too? If Taylor declares her devotion to her lover before her death, does that ensure that they are together in perpetuity? Or is that sentiment purely a relic of her past life, in which case her love disappears anew? Perhaps the invisible string tying the lovers together bonds them in eternal life. Perhaps the string snaps. Which is the blessing and which is the curse?

Whatever you make of ‘parity’ in reincarnation, it is important to remember that Taylor insists the relationship between her and her muse is at least a spiritual or divine one—if not also a worldly one—for it exists in conjunction with her own metaphysic.

How does reincarnation betray Romanticism?

A. Taylor is the red rose and the lover is the ice frozen ground.

Taylor as the rose does not trivially align with a bygone Romanticism, for the rose epitomizes Romance. Key, therefore, is the line about tweeting. Taylor abhors the practice of cataloguing and oversharing in service of knowing something completely—effectively ‘modern’ Romanticism.

Digital overexposure is an occupational hazard [10], but Taylor refuses to let ‘modern’ Romanticism to become invasive this time around. New life shall not be defiled by social media. It shall remain pure by individual will. Though Taylor’s rebirth into a new life happens on land in America, that it does not become a hyperbole of local Twitter is the proverbial nail in the coffin of Romanticism, distortion in service of aesthetic.

Rose imagery also draws a direct parallel to “The Lucky One,” Taylor’s self-proclaimed meditation [11] on her worst fears of stardom. The “Rose Garden” in this song contextualizes the “lucky” one’s disappearance from the spotlight:

It was a few years later

I showed up here

And they still tell the legend of how you disappeared

How you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out

They say you bought a bunch of land somewhere

Chose the Rose Garden over Madison Square

And it took some time, but I understand it now

Emphasis on individual choice in the aforementioned star’s return to normalcy bears a striking resemblance to the individualistic philosophy of “the lakes,” as exemplified by Taylor and her muse choosing to jump from the Windermere peaks and Taylor keeping her rose off social media. Mention of a “legend” that describes disappearance and simultaneous return elsewhere is another connection to the “the lakes.”

Taylor as the rose could alternatively represent a chromatic devolution of true love (“I once believed love was burnin’ red // but it’s golden”). That is, becoming a rose suggests she may have changed her mind back to believing that love is burning red. This more generally represents returning to the beginning of a journey that began in the Red era. Perhaps Taylor sees Red as the beginning of her calamitous Romanticism. She realizes by folklore the fears which she surveyed in “The Lucky One,” so choosing a new life presents an opportunity to protect post-Speak Now Taylor from self-inflicted wounds which fester and prove fatal to her Romantic. (In essence…time travel.)

Taylor’s lover, ice frozen ground, is reborn frigid not blazing, the opposite of their raging fire. Taming the lover’s wild essence renders it impossible for them to be a Romantic muse in a new life. If the two lovers do indeed share an eternal love, then death reveals a conscious choice not to glorify it.

Additionally, Taylor’s artist-hero imagination has no power in her new life. Taylor and her lover have effectively switched spots. All we previously knew of the lover’s secrets and secret death was from what Taylor wrote, so Taylor (for lack of a better phrase) concealed her lover. The lover, ice frozen ground, is now the one concealing Taylor, the rose. As a smothering but not razing force, Taylor’s lover thus is reincarnated into the role of a public protector. Reincarnation reveals that the death of Romanticism is abetted through the death of secrecy, which always allows distortion of truth.

Another possibility: the secrecy surrounding the lover is that they were the ice frozen ground. If Taylor confirms that the lover was something ‘tragic’ before, then after the death of Romanticism they counterintuitively may become beautiful. Or, the lover continues to be tragic, and paramount again is Taylor’s choice not to sensationalize her muse.

B. Taylor is the ice frozen ground and the lover is the red rose.

Many of the themes above apply to this interpretation too.

Taylor reborn as ice frozen ground does not change her essence from “hoax.” By not ‘shaking off’ a sadness with her rebirth, she subverts the usual expectation—a product of the many years devoted to fixing any and all criticism [12]—of artist-hero Taylor Swift.

The lover reborn as the red rose means their being surfaces where they once were hidden and/or that they are not the golden love they had been in reputation, Lover, and “invisible string.” New life brings the bright, burning “red” emotions. Either what was once very bad is now very good and vice versa, or these emotions are simply not very anything because Taylor doesn’t want to sensationalize them as a pastiche of Red. If Taylor’s love is eternal, then she will be more subdued when sharing it; if it is not eternal, then she will simply move on.

This interpretation implies that Taylor’s Rose Garden is eternal love without the necessity of elevating her partner to Romantic muse status. No one being around to tweet the rose bursting through the ice means that Taylor alone gets to appreciate her lover for their pure essence before modern society does—lest the lover be perceived at all.

C. Taylor and her lover are indivisible: they are both the rose and the frozen ground

Taylor’s “twisted knife”/“sleepless night”/“winless fight” froze her ground but her lover’s “sleight of hand” made the land barren, unable to sustain life. The two lovers are emotionally at odds, but Romanticism acts as the “synthesizing faculty” which unites them in their old life.

The metaphor of the rose and frozen ground does not work without each part. It is possible that the lovers remain equally united in their new life; the lovers’ spiritual connection yields unity after reincarnation. Abiogenesis is therefore the phenomenon which betrays Romanticism. The lovers exist alongside each other naturally, not because they are opposites which Romanticism has forced together.

This is probably the most lighthearted interpretation of the last stanza in “the lakes.” Extreme hardship helps the lovers grow, and they remain intertwined through eternity.

——

The geographic elegy of folklore is that for Taylor’s giant, her Romantic, something both treasured and despised right until its end. (How appropriately meta.)

This raises the question: what replaces it?

Nothing.

folklore can—and perhaps should—be understood as a Transcendental work rather than a Romantic one. From this angle, Romanticism is that which prevented Taylor from connecting with something deeper within herself, something more eternal.

“Transcendental” does not mean “transcendent” or beyond human experience altogether, but something through which experience is made possible. [13]

Transcendentalism and Romanticism were two literary and philosophical movements that occurred during roughly the same time period [14].  Romanticism dominated England, Germany, and France in the late 18th and early 19th centuries slightly before Transcendentalism swept through America in the mid-1800s.

The two movements heavily influenced [15] each other. Transcendentalists and Romantics shared an appreciation for nature, doubt of (Calvinist) religious dogma, and an ambivalence or dislike of society and its institutions as corrupting forces. We see Taylor align herself with these ideas by the end of the album. “the lakes” holds a reverence of the natural world, disregard of predestination, and contempt for Twitter.

But Transcendentalism sharply diverged from Romanticism along the axis of faith. Transcendentalism thrived as a religious movement that emphasized individualism as a means for self-growth and, in particular, achieving a personal, highly spiritualized [16] understanding of God:

For many of the transcendentalists the term “transcendentalism” represented nothing so technical as an inquiry into the presuppositions of human experience, but a new confidence in and appreciation of the mind’s powers, and a modern, non-doctrinal spirituality. The transcendentalist, Emerson states, believes in miracles, conceived as “the perpetual openness of the human mind to new influx of light and power…”

Romantics, for instance, viewed nature as a source of imagination, inspiration, and enlightenment, whereas Transcendentalists saw nature as a vessel for exploring spirituality. Transcendentalists believed in an innate goodness of people for possession of a divine inner light [17]. Occupied with the perverse and disparate, Romantics believed people were capable both of great good and terrible evil.

It’s tempting to scope Taylor’s shift from Romanticism to Transcendentalism to this album alone. It’s true that folklore is filled with individualism, a hallmark of Transcendentalist philosophy. However, I argue that spirituality reveals a journey towards Transcendentalism that began well before folklore.

Consider the evolution of faith from reputation to Lover. Taylor places more emphasis on personal spirituality as she becomes increasingly disillusioned with organized religion/religious dogma. In “Don’t Blame Me,” Taylor defies religious convictions in favor of chasing the high of her forbidden love. Then her quiet and private life with her lover in “Cornelia Street” advances whatever traditional religious beliefs she possessed towards a self-defined spirituality (“sacred new beginnings that became my religion”). Individual spiritual enlightenment and religious conviction become mutually exclusive by the end of Lover, for the lovers would still worship their love even if it is a “false god.”

The final scene proves most important for establishing the album’s philosophy. In the end of “the lakes.” Taylor chooses death and is reincarnated into new life, kept pure also by individual will. (It should be noted that Transcendentalism was heavily influenced [18] by Indian religions, of which reincarnation is a central tenet.) Choosing reincarnation—to the extent that one even can—reflects a greater understanding of oneself. Choice, the ultimate power granted in the self, engenders spirituality. It is the means by which one follows a divine, guiding spark (i.e. “inner light”) in search of connection with others and the natural world. The album’s ending marries individualism with spirituality, which makes Taylor a true champion of Transcendentalism.

——

Transcendentalism is considered one of the most dominant American intellectual movements. Exploring the significance of Transcendentalist Taylor Swift is a rather unimaginative end to this essay. If we try hard enough, we will always be able to connect its philosophy to any art that exists in conversation with American culture.

Perhaps a more gripping conclusion comes from the assertion that philosophy doesn’t matter…

…at least, not in the way this essay regards philosophy as the ultimate Point.

So identifiable is the geographic motif in Taylor’s work that it is nearly impossible to ignore. This is especially true for folklore, an album that would literally not be folkloric if not for the blending of reality and fiction, real location and setting elevated as metaphor. So moving, moreover, is the grief at folklore’s core that it is natural to wonder what else it could represent. Hence, this essay’s charade of poking around both to see if they convey a deeper meaning.

A strong philosophical foundation establishes the ethos of art, that with which we resonate. However, we will never know to what philosophy Taylor subscribes. The interaction between her beliefs, creative spirit, and innate sense of self will always be a mystery. Any and all conclusions about the philosophical foundations of her art thus (1) are highly subjective and (2) reveal more about the ones making them than about Taylor herself.

Ironically, it is paramount to appreciate Taylor’s (Romantic) style above all else. The ways she uses basic building blocks of literature—theme, imagery, mood, setting, to name a few—piques curiosity. After all, without those building blocks, one would not be able to cultivate (should they so desire) an interest in the metaphorical, philosophical, or otherwise profound.

——

Disclaimer: this essay references (explicitly and implicitly, by way of citing expanded theoretical work) the ideas of Emerson and Heidegger, two preeminent thinkers whose ideas have had especially deep and lasting impacts on society. They are also two individuals noted to have had poor and even abhorrent political/personal views. I do not condone their views by referencing any ideas connected to these individuals (done mostly in service of rigor). I furthermore leave the task of generating nuance to those who dedicate their lives to critical examination of these individuals’ personal philosophies and the impact of their work on society.

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Until  Forever - Sirius Black

After a while, I have finished this chapter - it’s small but cute; I think. Also, since I have been away for a long time, just comment below this if you want to be tagged! The next chapter will be out withing this week. As always, my English is a warning by itself!  MASTERLIST  Prologue | Mercury | Delicate | Blue | Running | Aftermath | Stardust | December | Nightfall | Revelations  | Friends

Chapter 12. Resolutions.

             Twenty-two years should be enough time to feel like she belonged and that there was a place of her own. But twenty-two years have not been enough for her, and she had resigned to think that maybe no amount of years will be enough. She could not, after all, force a home to happen.             Her definition of “home” had been blurred, lost even. Instead, “home” floated between the longing for an unnamed place and a stubborn determination to make this place a “home.” This was not to say that she had never felt at home here. She had. Not always though. Other days she was a foreigner here and everything outside her window begun to look strange and dissonant. It was a bit of a paradox. Home had never been geographical for her. It was everywhere and nowhere.            Waking up in the same room, same bed with him was beautiful and terrifying because it felt familiar and hit her close to heart. She had drifted off to sleep without realizing that Sirius was afraid to close his eyes – how could he?            His wounds were bleeding badly, just by looking at her but at the same time it felt as if roses were spilling their sweet water down his spine – a chilling sensation run through his veins. For some reason he wanted to think about her loudly. He had thought about how hungry leaves looked right before a storm – wanting to live but desperate to die within the swirling sensation of the tornado. She was a loud thought. He could try to think of anything else – cookies or how tender flowers were and then she became the only thought in his mind. She swelled up and blocked everything else out. She became the sun, the moon and the stars – and he had loathed the stars, even his name, thanks to his parents, but of course, she was poetry in motion just like the tattoo she now had. She felt as a ringing in his ears, all sweet in its siren, all fluid, all open ache. In the middle of movies, of conversations, of collecting his life, she simply slipped in between the cracks.

           And he was thinking about her again – but looking at her made his mind stop for one moment. He had nothing to be afraid of, even his house felt distant. He knew how incredibly wrong it was but the world had seized to exist.             And now it was her turn to notice him in his sweet serenity and glory – but she couldn’t for if she focused her thoughts solely on him, she would cave in and ignore all the signs telling her to stop, including her own mind. She felt him turning, waking up and pretended she was asleep again with hitched breath, something he did notice. He had never slept so peacefully in his life but he knew that the night was gone and their time was running out. He didn’t know what to do nor how to act around her this time. It felt vulnerable as a moment. The frozen sun softly illuminated the room and the tender stillness gently reminded him that she was out of his reach. He tried to pretend she was asleep; it would be so much easier for both of them. But it was fake and with her around he couldn’t fake anything anymore. She had gotten under his skin and the truth was he didn’t want her to leave.            She never was in one place and he had finally understood why; a soft lover hidden behind cold lies to keep everyone in a safe distance; a rose appearing as a thorn rather than the delicate blossom. There was something in her eyes, as she dared to look at him, that made him question the universe itself. She indolently stretched her limbs and his eyes followed her body. Her eyes met his and the tension was so thick, she could cut it with a knife. She smiled kindly. Trying not to be too blunt about the fact that they shared a bed and much more intimate thoughts the night before, she decided to say a simple good morning instead of prolonging the inevitable, hoping for the lesser evil...            She did try to say it but the words were caught on the back of her neck. She wanted to make it less awkward but once her mind started racing, she would shut down and not be able to function. Instead, Sirius was the one to break the ice. "Hello sleeping beauty. James and the guys are waiting for us. Maybe we should get going. Whenever you are ready" he reminded her. Not having to conceal her tattoos anymore mainly because Sirius and Remus already knew... allowed her to see that things could move forward. As she moved forward she did hoped that she could have the courage to do things differently, to be the kind of a person who took the risk, who led with her heart and showed up in her life with a ruthless dedication to learning and growing and enjoying the hell out of her moments here. She knew that she had to trust the part of herself that felt there was more out there for her that was easy to quiet when she was trying to live by the rules and the expectations of a world that has bred so much dissatisfaction and sadness. She never liked the rules anyway. She wanted to free herself from the boundaries that could hold her no longer.            “Sure… just give me an hour to pack a couple of things and grab a shower, okay?” she boldly asked him as she climbed down from her bed, trying to stop her eyes from catching Sirius’s staring. He had a wicked smile plastered on his lips but agreed with her nonetheless and leaving her be.                                       “I’ll be in the common room. One hour” he chimed cheerfully and walked out of her room as if nothing had happened. She rolled her eyes and grabbed a backpack, charmed it to fit all of her things and threw everything in – the dress, the shoes, a pair of pajamas, a pair of jeans, a comfy shirt, undergarments, a pair of flats and her makeup bag. She always liked to be prepared for everything. She didn't want to go but after a night with him, she found herself persuaded... And the thing was he hadn't even asked her.            After her shower, she got dressed in the simple pair of jeans and a sweater, threw her hair in a bun, grabbed her bag and went downstairs to find him. He was there just like he had promised her. Exactly an hour ago. He was sitting next to the fireplace which was burning brightly, eyes lost in an invisible horizon, absentmindedly rolling a cigarette, his mind traveling miles away in the speed of light. She could almost see his brain thinking and twisting and swirling around - what, she did not know.                Watching him completely unaware of her stare made her realized how vulnerable he was, how soft and tender... and broken. She shook her head trying to stop her mind from wandering around the same old thought and instead focused energy on the one thing she knew she was going to go... She didn’t dare think she would enjoy it.            She would be lying to herself and everyone else if she was to say that being here, in that particular moment, having met the people she met, enjoying something that everyone else could only read, having the chance to be in fictional world, was merely okay... It was terrifying. She didn't believe she would characterize and label it as scary exactly because it was so beautiful an innocent and raw. But it was terrifying, knowing how the story ended, knowing that Sirius would end up in Azkaban, knowing the James and Lily would die before they could reach twenty-two, knowing that Remus would end up believing that he was all alone - but most importantly knowing that she could not change a single detail.            Looking at him was like a war. It felt violent and without escape. A star bathed in blood, tormented by the demons of his own existence. Demons that had escaped the gates of hell, a place she knew rather well. Eyes like spilled Mercury, fists covered in Ares' bruises, mind ruled by Athena's strategy and Pluto's deception. She couldn't speak of his heart; she didn't know if it was sacrificed to Aphrodite or given willingly to Persephone. Sometimes he felt like Hades to her. Dark, soft, bruised, wickedly sinister, broken, desperate for love, incapable of forgiving himself. There was a sad smile forming on her lips... She knew him all too well.            She was looking at him the way she had been wishing for someone to look at her; like the sun wasn’t bright enough; like the moon wasn’t soft enough; like the stars weren’t there anymore. Maybe she was biased. Maybe his eyes were whispering long-forgotten tales to her soul.           “You have that strange look, I cannot decode” he told her as he turned to face her. She just smiled, not hiding behind thin lies.            “Such a plot twist, you are” she whispered as he approached her. Her answer took him by surprise. They were used to playing a game of hide and seek – but she didn’t want to hide any longer. Her eyes spoke a million truths; all those answer he was searching for.            “Who are you?” he faintly asked her, playing with a strand of her long hair.                            “I thought I knew” she admitted. She didn’t know who she was but she knew that she was no longer the same person.            “You fell from the sky and turned my life upside down” he told her with a hint of anger in his voice but she merely chuckled.            “How do you know your life wouldn't be better turned upside down?” she quoted a favorite abstract of hers. He was about to say something but suddenly he stopped. He thought about those words.            “We should go” she softly reminded him.

              James was the kindest person she had met. She remembered him being described as a bully – he had never been one. Maybe he was voicing his dislike in a bit of extravagant way but he never bullied anyone. Okay, yes. Severus had been an exception – when they were 13. Stupid kids, not knowing how to properly react. Who could hold that against him?            He had been the perfect gentleman, as he helped her with her bag and showed her to the guestroom. She hadn’t even thought about a room – but his house was a mansion, a small detail that the books didn’t mention. The room was twice as big as her old one, with an en-suite bathroom.            Seeing Remus, practically stumbling upon him once she left her room, felt like a punch to her chest. He was so tragically beautiful, she thought. Strange, how she could get attached to two different people. But then again, maybe they weren’t so different after all. She saw the questions burning in his eyes. She wanted to tell him everything but how could she justify her selfish actions?            “You came” he looked at her in an almost surprised way. She contemplated her options. Of course, he was surprised. Who would have the nerve or the audacity to face their ex on such a short amount of time? Trying to find the right words to say, she realized that she was still very much drawn to him. Shit.            “I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. I really am, Remus” she found herself apologizing but what for? He saw her shift and smiled warmly. Fuck those amber eyes.        “There is nothing to apologize for, love. Just some things to clarify” he led on. She knew that he had to be aware of everything, she just wished that he wouldn’t want answers. But, who wouldn’t?            She pushed the door of her temporary room open with her hip and showed him in. It would be as easy as breathing to be honest – and as difficult as suffocating underwater. He had every right to know, she thought. This was his story, his life…

              Remus had never been stupid – he observed everything and everyone from a safe distance. With her, it had been different from the very beginning. He knew she had secrets and big ones, for that matter, but never had he expected to be told that she was from another dimension – or as she had labelled it, another possibility.              She gave him time; time to get himself together, time to understand her words, time to accept that maybe she was indeed honest, time to connect every bit of information. He was the one who pushed her for answers. He had to be ready to accept them. Yet, everything she told him seemed like a made-up story but he couldn’t shake that damn feeling that she was telling the truth. She hadn’t changed the subject, she hadn’t avoided a single question, she had told him every little detail that would be impossible for her to know otherwise. And he knew that she was special, he was aware of that. He knew that she was different – but how could he imagine that she was from a distant future – from another place, entirely, one he was a character in a book?                His mind was screaming at him for a breather but he refused – he needed to ask more questions but at the same time he already knew the answers. He was battling a losing fight inside of him; betrayal and understanding. She had chosen to hide the fact that she knew about his life and his entire future, yet how could she reveal it to him? It was obvious to him that she acted the exact same way he would have. He understood now the side glances, the soft but sad smile that was always on her lips whenever she’d see him, the inevitable of it all and how doomed everything mush have seemed to her.              Remus had never been stupid – he observed everything and everyone from a safe distance. And then she had come along, shaking his very core, only to reveal something unfathomable. He noticed her eyes again, slowly regaining focus as he tried to gulp down every bit of information. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of his and he felt that maybe, just maybe, history wasn’t written in stone – maybe this once. She had that ability – to change his mind almost instantly, to make him question the principles of nature and life itself. And then a tiny little voice, told him that he wasn’t the only one being affected by her presence.   Afterall, if everything she had told him was true, his friend did need her, and quite frankly deserved her, a lot more. How wrong of him, to objectify her and think of her as a need. She was happily unaware of those last thoughts, he knew.                    “I don’t know how to process this – or rather, how to deal with this’ he truthfully told her and her smile told him that she was expecting that very answer. Absentmindedly, she squeezed his hand and didn’t let go.              “I don’t know how difficult it must be for you, I can only guess. Listen, I could have lied, and believe me, we both would have been in a better shape, but to you – it feels impossible. Lying doesn’t work on you. You already know. And that’s why, I think, you are going to deal with this, one way or another; because you already knew. I know that it’s a lot and I am so sorry. It’s your life, your path, your decision. You can either ask me to obliviate the shit out of you or you can keep it to yourself, or even discuss it with the others” she offered him exactly what he needed. Solace.                      He thought about it for a moment and he knew that the moment would turn into many sleepless nights. How could he ever say those things out loud? How could he accuse one of his best friends that he would kill another? But then again, how could he not? He simply nodded, fully aware of the huge weigh on his chest – and painfully aware of her lips, inches away.          

[readerbookclub]

The Book Club’s January List

Guess who’s back with a new book list? This month’s theme was inspired by a suggestion that we read hopeful books for the new year. After looking for such books I found that hopeful stories rarely exist without an element of tragedy or struggle, hence the theme Bittersweet. The books on this list are quite varied, some more bitter and others more sweet. Nonetheless, all of them seem very interesting. Let’s get to it!

This first book was recommended to me by the same person who inspired this month’s theme. It also happens to be the first non-fiction book on these lists! It’s an autobiography by someone whose unique life has shown her the importance of education:

1. Educated, by Tara Westover

Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her "head-for-the-hills bag". In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father's junkyard. Her father forbade hospitals, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education and no one to intervene when one of Tara's older brothers became violent. Then, lacking any formal education, Tara began to educate herself. She taught herself enough mathematics and grammar to be admitted to Brigham Young University, where she studied history, learning for the first time about important world events like the Holocaust and the civil rights movement. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she'd traveled too far, if there was still a way home. Educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty and of the grief that comes with severing the closest of ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one's life through new eyes and the will to change it. 

2. The Travelling Cat Chronicles, by Hiro Arikawa and translated by Philip Gabriel

Nana the cat is on a road trip. He is not sure where he's going or why, but it means that he gets to sit in the front seat of a silver van with his beloved owner, Satoru. Side by side, they cruise around Japan through the changing seasons, visiting Satoru's old friends. He meets Yoshimine, the brusque and unsentimental farmer for whom cats are just ratters; Sugi and Chikako, the warm-hearted couple who run a pet-friendly B&B; and Kosuke, the mournful husband whose cat-loving wife has just left him. There's even a very special dog who forces Nana to reassess his disdain for the canine species. But what is the purpose of this road trip? And why is everyone so interested in Nana? Nana does not know and Satoru won't say. But when Nana finally works it out, his small heart will break... 

3. A Man Called Ove, by Fredrik Backman and translated by Henning Koch

Meet Ove. He’s a curmudgeon—the kind of man who points at people he dislikes as if they were burglars caught outside his bedroom window. He has staunch principles, strict routines, and a short fuse. People call him “the bitter neighbor from hell.” But must Ove be bitter just because he doesn’t walk around with a smile plastered to his face all the time? Behind the cranky exterior there is a story and a sadness. So when one November morning a chatty young couple with two chatty young daughters move in next door and accidentally flatten Ove’s mailbox, it is the lead-in to a comical and heartwarming tale of unkempt cats, unexpected friendship, and the ancient art of backing up a U-Haul. All of which will change one cranky old man and a local residents’ association to their very foundations.

For the next two books, I interpreted Bittersweet in a slightly different way. These books are about finding beauty in an otherwise horrible situation. Because sometimes, perspective can make all the difference:

4. The Enchanted, by Rene Denfeld

This is an enchanted place. Others don't see it, but I do. The enchanted place is an ancient stone prison, viewed through the eyes of a death row inmate who finds escape in his books and in re-imagining life around him, weaving a fantastical story of the people he observes and the world he inhabits. Fearful and reclusive, he senses what others cannot. Though bars confine him every minute of every day, he marries magical visions of golden horses running beneath the prison, heat flowing like molten metal from their backs, with the devastating violence of prison life. Two outsiders venture here: a fallen priest, and the Lady, an investigator who searches for buried information from prisoners' pasts that can save those soon-to-be-executed. Digging into the background of a killer named York, she uncovers wrenching truths that challenge familiar notions of victim and criminal, innocence and guilt, honour and corruption-ultimately revealing shocking secrets of her own.

5. Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett

Somewhere in South America, at the home of the country's vice president, a lavish birthday party is being held in honour of the powerful businessman Mr. Hosokawa. Roxane Coss, opera's most revered soprano, has mesmerised the international guests with her singing.

It is a perfect evening – until a band of gun-wielding terrorists takes the entire party hostage. But what begins as a panicked, life-threatening scenario slowly evolves into something quite different, a moment of great beauty, as terrorists and hostages forge unexpected bonds and people from different continents become compatriots, intimate friends, and lovers.

That’s it for this month! Please vote for your favorite here. 

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[picnic-at-dreaming-rock]

Top 5 New Books of 2020

A round up of the top 5 new books that I have read this year, full 2020 reading list found here

Warning for possible spoilers below the cut.

Please Don’t Hug Me - Kay Kerr

Erin is looking forward to Schoolies, at least she thinks she is. But things are not going to plan. Life is getting messy, and for Erin, who is autistic, that’s a big problem. She’s lost her job at Surf Zone after an incident that clearly was not her fault. Her driving test went badly even though she followed the instructions perfectly. Her boyfriend is not turning out to be the romantic type. And she’s missing her brother, Rudy, who left almost a year ago.

But now that she’s writing letters to him, some things are beginning to make just a tiny bit of sense.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I cannot stress enough how much I love this book. Growing up as an autistic teen girl, I really lack a lot of representation, both real and fictional, and this books is a huge step forward in remedying that. Written by an autistic woman (yes, this is an #ownvoices novel!), Please Don’t Hug Me shows autism in a new and beautiful light as to what is most commonly shown. Erin is no genius savant that is only autistic when plot relevant or has a lack of social skills used only for comedic relief, but instead a encapsulation of the ordinary and everyday autistic experience of just wanting to get through the day with as little meltdowns as possible while still maintaining your neurotypical facade.

The Dictionary of Lost Words - Pip Williams

In 1901, the word bondmaid was discovered missing from the Oxford English Dictionary. This is the story of the girl who stole it.

Motherless and irrepressibly curious, Esme spends her childhood in the Scriptorium, a garden shed in Oxford where her father and a team of lexicographers are gathering words for the very first Oxford English Dictionary.

Esme’s place is beneath the sorting table, unseen and unheard. One day, she sees a slip containing the word bondmaid flutter to the floor unclaimed. Esme seizes the word and hides  it in an old wooden trunk that belongs to her friend, Lizzie,  a young servant in the big house. Esme begins to collect other words from the Scriptorium that are misplaced, discarded or have been neglected by the dictionary men. They help her make sense of the world.

Over time, Esme realises that some words are considered more important than others, and that words and meanings relating to women’s experiences often go unrecorded. She begins to collect words for another dictionary: The Dictionary of Lost Words.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

One of my favourite parts about this novel is how perfectly it showed both misogyny and classism/elitism, and how they intertwined. Although it is set in the mid/late 19th century and early 20th century, there is this sense of relatability to it that I think I lot of people might be able to recognise. Williams deals with a lot topics that I don’t often see in other media, such as menstruation without fancy allusions or making it into anything other than what it is, pregnancy out-of-wedlock without it being seen as a character flaw on the woman’s part, and showing characters one might consider like a hag or spinster to be good people worth celebrating because of things that deem them lesser rather than despite it or not at all. One main criticism I do have with this book, however, is how it seems like William just adds tragedy for the sake of moving the plot forward/to add shock value or drama. I will admit, it did get me crying at some parts, it did get a little tedious and lack-luster to have the last half of the novel just be death after life-altering event after death after life-altering event. 

The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will be busier still.

By her brother's graveside, Liesel's life is changed when she picks up a single object, partially hidden in the snow. It is The Gravedigger's Handbook, left behind there by accident, and it is her first act of book thievery. So begins a love affair with books and words, as Liesel, with the help of her accordian-playing foster father, learns to read. Soon she is stealing books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever there are books to be found.

But these are dangerous times. When Liesel's foster family hides a Jew in their basement, Liesel's world is both opened up, and closed down.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

I read this book for my advanced literature class earlier this year and it was a great choice on the schools part. Everyone in my class enjoyed it, even if a lot of us were crying by the end of the novel. The book itself is rich with literary techniques that enrich the actual reading if you are one of those people that like to dissect what they read. I think Zusak made a really good choice with having Death narrate, as well as how he tied in his own experiences/interjections in these mini vignette-type extracts which I found really enhanced both the overall atmosphere and environment. The only qualm I have is that there were a lot of questions left unanswered that made the story feel somewhat empty.

Picnic at Hanging Rock - Joan Lindsay

It was a cloudless summer day in the year nineteen hundred.

Everyone at Appleyard College for Young Ladies agreed it was just right for a picnic at Hanging Rock. After lunch, a group of three of the girls climbed into the blaze of the afternoon sun, pressing on through the scrub into the shadows of Hanging Rock. Further, higher, till at last they disappeared.

They never returned.

Whether Picnic at Hanging Rock is fact or fiction the reader must decide for themselves.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

I watched the Foxtel miniseries first a couple years and thoroughly enjoyed it and sought out the novel very quickly afterwards. I will be honest, I picked the novel up first around 2018/19 and dropped it until earlier this year when I reread/finished it and loved it. Lindsay’s ability to create this perfect and constant juxtaposition between the natural Australian bush and the intruding colonialism is really amazing and adds this interesting aesthetic that the academia community on this site seems to enjoy. There is also a really interesting dynamic between the female characters (which is most of the characters, to be fair) and they feel complete and authentic, something that doesn’t always exist in other works of literature. There is also one canon queer character, but there is so much subtext in the novel for so many other characters that it feels purposeful. All in all, this is the gayest straight book I ever read.  

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - Suzanne Collins

It is the morning of the reaping that will kick off the tenth annual Hunger Games. In the Capital, eighteen-year-old Coriolanus Snow is preparing for his one shot at glory as a mentor in the Games. The once-mighty house of Snow has fallen on hard times, its fate hanging on the slender chance that Coriolanus will be able to outcharm, outwit, and outmaneuver his fellow students to mentor the winning tribute.

The odds are against him. He's been given the humiliating assignment of mentoring the female tribute from District 12, the lowest of the low. Their fates are now completely intertwined -- every choice Coriolanus makes could lead to favor or failure, triumph or ruin. Inside the arena, it will be a fight to the death. Outside the arena, Coriolanus starts to feel for his doomed tribute... and must weigh his need to follow the rules against his desire to survive no matter what it takes.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

The Hunger Games was one of the series in primary school that rocked my literary world (joining the ranks of The Great Brain, Harry Potter and The Books of Beginning) and helped inspire my love of reading, and when I heard about a prequel I was over the moon with nostalgia. I found it a couple days after its release at Target for $16 and I loved it. I finished it in about a week and I could barely put it down. I loved reading how the hunger games came to be and how they ended up the way they were, as well as advancing Collins’ previously established and incredible world building. The book also adds upon the themes in the original trilogy of government corruption, classism, elitism, individualism and propaganda, but from those that benefit from it (e.g. Snow) instead of those that suffer (e.g. Katniss). I have seen some criticism from people about not liking it being from Snow’s perspective but I personally think that it was the perfect choice, as no other character’s story would be able to add to the story in such a meaningful way.

[golden-masquerade]

Apartmentseeker.com reviews for Sunny Hollow Apartments

Note: Original fiction, might be something more with time, I’m not sure yet

Really wanted one of those templates where you make fake stuff, like those fake tweet and face text stuff, but I guess those don’t exist. Oh well, maybe someday.

Enjoy!

ApartmentSeeker.com reviews

Sunny Hollow Apartments

Average 3.9 stars

Highest rated reviews:

**** Nice place with strict rules (Jonas J)

My sister and I moved here a couple of years ago because of the cheap rent, and it's been pretty great. The apartments are close to the town square and convention center, which works out well for us. There's also a beautiful garden and swimming pool with hot tub on the back lot which has been pretty great. The HOA in place has lots of complicated rules so anyone new to apartments are gonna feel a little over their head, but my sister and I adjusted quickly. I recommend getting a room in Sunny Hollow if you need cheap rent and don't mind the iron fist of the HOA.

-Reply from Owner-

Thank you for the kind words, JJ. I just wanted to clarify that the building doesn't have an HOA. It has a Building Management Team, and we work hard to ensure that our tenants are happy and safe in their homes. It makes us happy to hear that you love Sunny Hollow! Please give us a call if you need maintenance or anything at all! -Sasha S.

***** Cheap rent for great apartments! (Dash C.)

I absolutely LOVE Sunny Hollow! While the rooms are on the small side (hence so cheap), the building is close to the center of everything (except a school). While there's some rules the HOA has you follow, it's easy to get into a routine and life couldn't be better. Neighbors are nice, the pool and hot tub are fantastic perks, and the building itself is pretty quiet. It's been great rooming here while studying for Uni. Highly recommend to the average Uni student who can afford apartment housing!

-Reply from Owner-

Hi, Dash! Thanks for the kind words! I just wanted to clarify that the building doesn't have an HOA. It has a Building Management Team, and we work hard to ensure that our tenants are happy and safe in their homes. Please give us a call if you need maintenance or anything at all! -Sasha S.

*** Too many rules to follow (Miche P.)

I came to live here a week ago, and while the 1B1B room is nice and affordable for one person, there's a giant rules packet that comes with the place. A lot of the rules are pretty weird and make no sense, and I specifically moved into this place because I was told it was anti-HOA, when there is, in fact, an HOA. I'm breaking the lease and moving out. I vowed to never live under another HOA again.

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Miche! We're sorry that living in Sunny Hollow was unpleasant I want to clarify that the building does not have an HOA. Apartment buildings cannot have an HOA by law. We do have the Building Maintenance Team, which maintains the property and does not govern how tenants live their lives like an HOA does. We do have a lot of rules, yes, which were designed by happenings in the past to keep everyone safe and in harmony. Please stop by the office on the front floor so we can go over your paperwork. And we thank you for giving Sunny Hollow a try. Wishing all the best, Sasha S.

*** Small rooms with thin walls (Travis D.)

Like it says, all the rooms here are 1B1B, and that's fine but the walls are paper thin! I can hear everything from my other neighbors, and they keep me up at night! And I can hear everything outside too, don't even get me started on that nonsense! I'm only here because this is the cheapest place in town, and now I'm starting to see why! Come here only if you're as desperate as I am!

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Travis, thank you for your honest feedback! We're sorry to hear about the noise levels from your room. You must be on the sixth floor? It's a recent addition that we were sure we added our sound proofing to. Please come stop by the office so we can address this and help you live more comfortably in your apartment. Regards, Sasha S.

** Nice place but HOA doesn't care (Heather I.)

I moved here six months ago because the rent was ridiculously cheap, and now I'm starting to see why. I foster stray cats and kittens, and they either all go missing or are found dead in a matter of days. The building staff all say that the coyotes are doing it, and don't want to stop it. I can't deny that the room is nice, but there's so many pointless rules to follow and they refuse to do anything about the apparently dangerous wildlife in the area. Will move out soon.

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Heather! Unfortunately, owning pets or having animals in the apartments goes against the leasing agreement. We would also like to remind you that the building does not have an HOA. It does have the Building Maintenance Team, which works hard to keep you happy and safe in your apartment every day. We're sorry that Coyote managed to get to your animals, but there really is nothing we can do in that regard. Please come by the office at your earliest convenience so we can discuss what happened and what we can do moving foreword. Thank you, Sasha S.

*** Nice place but rules are weird (anon)

Me and two roommates are managing in our apartment because it's so small. But the giant rules packet they gave us with the place is a huge headache. Cover our open sockets? Only air freshener allowed is cinnamon apple? Cover shiny objects with cloth if planning to leave the apartment for an hour? It's weird. I don't get it, but the rent is cheap and we have nowhere else to go. So, come live here if you need cheap rent!

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Ashley, John, and Avery! We're sorry if living in Sunny Hollow is a little tough right now. The rules for the building are in place to be sure everyone is safe and happy in their apartment. We have socket covers, air fresheners, the proper thick cloths, fluffy towels, and mix of bird songs in the rain for everyone who needs them, completely for free, to help make following the rules easier. We do also offer a lock box for your shiny objects, however there is a fee for rental. The Building Management Team is doing its best to ensure that living in Sunny Hollow is the best for you it can be. Please come see us in the office on the first floor so we can help make living in your apartment the happy experience it should be. Thank you, Sasha S.

(one star) HOA WILL THROW YOU OUT IF YOU'RE PREGNANT! (Tammy J.)

AS SOON AS THE HOA HEARD THAT MY PREGNANCY TEST WAS POSITIVE, THEY GAVE ME AN EVICTION NOTICE! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS AND ILLEGAL! HOA IS A BUNCH OF JERKS! DO NOT LIVE HERE! WILL BE SUING!

-Reply from Owner-

Flagged for trolling. Sasha S.

**** Cheap apartments for single occupant (Jason S.)

I've lived here for five years, and I really enjoy these apartments. While they are small (1B1B), they're perfect for living on your own and really affordable for single occupancy. The neighbors are nice, and its close to nearly everything in town. The area is quiet, and the building has a garden to walk in and relax and a swimming pool that open in the spring and summer. I highly recommend to anyone looking for an affordable place to live on their own without roommates Sunny Hollow is the best!

** HOA IN PLACE DESPITE BUILDING BEING ANTI-HOA! (anon)

They lied about there being an HOA owning the place! I don't care what they call it, it's an HOA! I don't like being lied to! I'm moving out as soon as I can! Fuck HOAS!

-Reply from Owner-

Sunny Hollow does not have an HOA. We have a Building Management Team, which works hard on making life in your apartment happy and safe. Please come see us in our office on the first floor to work out the lease breaking process. We're so sorry that we couldn't make your stay a happy one, Jeoff. Regards, Sasha S.

*** Small space, both good and bad (Preston S.)

I've been here for six months, and am happy with Sunny Hollow. The rooms are VERY SMALL 1B1B, so not good for large groups or families. But we get access to a swimming pool in the summer, and a quiet place to study and rest. It's just me here, so the space is just about perfect. Recommended for single person who wants to live independently

(one star) Will not rent to families (anon)

Was hoping to stay here because the rent is cheap, but the property owner wouldn't even let us in. They sited our five year old son! They say the property is strictly a no children allowed property, which I'm pretty sure is illegal! What residence doesn't allow children to live there?! Avoid this place if at all possible! We'd sue if we had the money!

-Reply from Owner-

Sunny Hollow does not allow children to live in our apartments, as is covered by Rule 1 of our Apartment Guide and Rules. Sasha S.

*** Giant rule book comes with the place! (anon)

First day I was here, there's this giant book of rules for the room and building, like wtf? It makes a great doormat. Place is alright, but why all the rules?

-Reply from Owner-

Hi, Jack! Sunny Hallow has a Building Management Team to ensure that everyone's residency is safe and happy. We understand that there are a lot of rules to follow, and we would be happy to explain them to you at your leisure. The state of the rule book does not matter to us, as long as you follow the rules. Please see us in our office on the first floor for any questions or concerns that you have. Thank you, Sasha S.

(one star) Can't live here because of my dog? (anon)

Was turned away because I have a chihuahua?! It's not even a dangerous dog breed? Apartments are supposed to be pet friendly, wtf?

-Reply from Owner-

Sunny Hollow does not permit pets of any kind or animals, as is explained on our website as well as Rule 2 of the Apartment Guide and Rules. We are sorry we couldn't provide you with a home and wish you well on apartment hunting. Sasha S.

(one star) SOMETHING ATE ALL MY FISH! (anon)

DAY AFTER I MOVED IN ALL THE FISH IN MY FISHTANK WERE GONE! HOA WON'T DO ANYTHING! MOVING OUT TODAY! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK ATE MY FISH?!

-Reply from Owner-

Sunny Hollow does not permit pets of any kind or animals, as is explained on our website as well as Rule 2 of the Apartment Guide and Rules.

Flagged for trolling. -Sasha S.

*** 1B1B, cozy but has pests (Cassie Q.)

The rooms are alright, but after three days I heard something scratching and crawling through the walls. I'm worried about pests, but building management said they'd take care of it at no extra charge. It's good that the owners are always on top of things, but I really don't like mice or bugs and I was told that there's no pests in the building at all. Weird, but affordable, so I can't complain too much.

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Cassie! We're sorry about the night noises, and will work with you so you can get a good night's rest. We can assure you that Sunny Hollow is pest free, and we have an exterminator coming in every month to monitor the building as per town sanction. We can assure you that you'll never see a single mouse or bug considered a pest in your apartment. You're welcome to come by the office on the first floor if you'd like to see the appropriate paperwork, or pick up any supplies you need to ensure that your home is pest free. Regards, Sasha S.

***** THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PLACE! (anon)

YOU NEED TO READ THIS! DO NOT GO TO SUNNY HOLLOW! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE BUILDING! THERE'S SOMETHING LIVING IN IT! OR LOTS OF SOMETHINGS! THEY EAT PETS! THEY KILL PEOPLE! THE HOA DOESN'T CARE! I'M NOT CRAZY, WE'VE ALL SEEN IT! WE'VE SEEN THEM! DON'T BE FOOLED! THE RENT IS LOW FOR A REASON! DON'T GO THERE!

-Reply from the owner-

Flagged for trolling. Sasha S.

[love-takes-work]

Some people are being weird about Stevonnie's intersex designation.

Hopefully I can write a post that sums up and addresses a few confusions and criticisms I've been seeing!

Intersex: This is a term for anyone who has one of the dozens of biological sex variations outside of "male" and "female." Knowing someone is intersex does not tell you anything about their genitals, their hormones, their surgeries, their gender identity, whether they identify as trans or nonbinary, their secondary sex characteristics, or their chromosomes.

Some intersex variations are hormonal. Some are about genitals. Some are chromosomal. Some are a mixture.

Intersex is a designation that is exactly as "sexual" as calling someone "male" or calling someone "female." It isn't explicit in a way that makes it racy, sexualized, or inappropriate for children to see. And in fact, it answers zero questions about what is in Stevonnie's pants (or the pants of any intersex person).

Preoccupation with nonbinary, intersex, and trans people's genitals is what's inappropriate.

And unless the person in question wants you to know, it isn't your business.

Please also acknowledge that while we're talking about a cartoon character here, the way we treat and talk about them shouldn't be different from the way we treat and talk about real people. It's not about whether we're concerned about "hurting" an imaginary person. You all know that how people react to conceptual people is often how we learn to react to real people. Trans people and intersex people and people with hormone variations have historically been (and continue in the present to be) mocked and paraded as weirdos, from "man in a dress" pitched as a joke to "bearded lady in a sideshow" tropes.

Note: Say intersex, not "intersexed." Because people aren't intersexed any more than they're maled or femaled.

I personally have a couple intersex friends who are open about their designation. It's way more common than you might think and the shame and stigma surrounding intersex is part of why many people have been saying it's bizarre or gross to talk about associated with Stevonnie. Intersex isn’t rare, bizarre, or gross. It's just what happens when physical sex isn't a binary, which it's not.

Some people don't find out they're intersex until they have genetic testing for some reason and see a chromosome anomaly. Some people don't find out they're intersex until they don't experience typical puberty. Some people find out they had unnecessary surgery when they were infants to "normalize" their external genitalia, which is something some intersex activists are trying to stop from happening (especially since a. unnecessary surgeries can be painful and dangerous; b. they cannot consent at that age; c. they may have preferred an intersex body; and d. the sex determined by doctors or parents to be the right one might be the wrong one if the intersex person grows up and identifies differently gender-wise, and the parts they were born with are forever taken from them).

Stevonnie being intersex is a positive thing overall, mostly because intersex is not talked about for no good reason, and because of that we'll continue to have generations of parents who want unnecessary surgery on intersex infants, intersex people feeling ashamed or weird about their bodies, and people in general believing untrue things about the physical sex of bodies. A character just casually identifying as intersex is a really nice change for once.

The only issue I have with it, honestly, is the same issue I have with non-binary representation on the show. So far, we've only seen it explicitly acknowledged in Fusions.

Fusion is a magical concept on a SF/fantasy show, and I do worry that the value of intersex rep on the show is somewhat diluted by the fact that it's attached to a character who is LITERALLY a mixture of male and female characters. Being "a mix of male and female" isn't really the best way to see intersex people--the parts in question have names and what determines their maleness or femaleness or non-binary-ness is who owns the parts--and I worry that if some people are introduced to intersex for the first time as if it only exists as a result of an impossible science fiction concept, they might also get the idea that it doesn't happen in the real world.

It does happen in the real world! Just like nonbinary people and same-sex couples!

I would love to see some explicit nonbinary and intersex rep among human cartoon characters, and more same-sex human relationships too. SU is the perfect show to do this because it's got sensitive, informed, diverse, cool people behind it who know how important this is. There are still people watching this show who are "excusing" its queerness because it's mixed with literal aliens, but the intention of the show is the opposite: to give its audience characters that are relatable to historically marginalized groups who are not from outer space. So far it's still GREAT that we got a Gem wedding, a few casual references to humans who are probably gay or queer, a polyamorous Gem Fusion, and a nice little gaggle of nonbinary Fusions, including an intersex Fusion. The only reservation I have with it is that introducing these concepts attached to characters whose non-binary and/or intersex identities and designations are consequences of being literal mixtures of more than one person does make it less readily incorporated into a less savvy viewer's real-life understanding. What's still fantastic about it is that people can see Stevonnie supporting Intersex Awareness Day and look it up and find out why it exists. It's absolutely a stepping stone if nothing else, and they're not wrong for doing it.

And please do stop claiming that talking about intersex is sexually explicit or disgusting because you think it refers to the genitals of minors. That isn't true AND it is misleading when it comes to what intersex is. If you wouldn't consider it inappropriate to ask a new parent about the gender of their baby knowing they can't ask the baby and are therefore explicitly disclosing what genitals the child has, you shouldn't consider it inappropriate to have a children's show character identify as intersex.

Hope that helps.

[surfinghorror]

TOP 10 OF THE BIGGEST DISASTERS OF SITGES

Horror is the real, the realization, it´s the killer before you, the Nazis in power.

Horror has been with us from the beginning, since man is man. Not only some of us have learned to live whit it, but we like it when is with us.

We know we are not the only ones and yes, maybe, you are right, another digital magazine focused on horror cinema is not necessary but for us, horror is not just a cinematographic genre, we really believe in horror as part of our culture and terror as art.

In Surfing Horror you will find reviews but also curiosities, specials, tops and much more stuff related to horror. 

And we are born today in the best way possible, making the opening post about the biggest disasters of Sitges Film Festival.

Let´s do it!

𝟏𝟎. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆

Revenge thriller in rural america. The silencing is not exactly a disappointment, we just don't understand why it has been selected for the official section of the sitges festival.

Unfortunately, this does not mean that we have liked it, it´s a product that we do not think can completely satisfy anyone, it doesn´t add anything that we have not seen before, it´s a very insipid thriller and the main plot doesn´t end up being of interest at any time. 

Also, it has a slow and heavy rhythm that makes you look at the clock several times.

🔪🔪 / 5

𝟗. 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐒!

A hipster couple in their thirties decide to disconnect from everything and spend a few days outside the city without knowing that the world is suffering an alien invasion.

Once again we are faced with a very promising idea, but that's all it takes, a promise of a product that could have given a much more interesting result. At "save yourselves", we have science-fiction only as context, it is a mere excuse to present us with a comedy not very funny, dialogs without grace and some supposed middle-age problems that if you are not from the upper-class, you will not understand.

The film, maybe in another festival, would have been seen as a light comedy but sitges is not its place.

It's like if you go to a Metallica show and the opening act is Britney Spears.

🔪 / 5

𝟖. 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄

Failed attempt of the "man vs machine" debate. We can see the love for science fiction behind this film but we cannot feel it.

The pic looks wonderful, all the visual aspect of the film is very well taken care of and the atmosphere is very achieved but this is precisely the big problem, it seems that Gavin Rothery (director-screenwriter) has forgotten to tell us a good story. The script is not in the same level, there are too many unnecessary script turns (above all, the last one) and there are some characters out of place.

In "archive" everything is left to the end but it's too late for us to be interested.

🔪🔪 / 5

𝟕. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑

In surfing horror, we also have a place in our heart for western, in fact, we love this genre but is not easy to mix it with horror and have a satisfactory result.

“The pale door” is not an exception, in the first hour we have a very little interesting western with empty characters and sets worthy of Ed Wood himself and in the last thirty minutes we have a witch film not more interesting than the western one. Genres are not touched at any time and the balance is non-existent.

Very ocassionaly, this explosive mix works, as on the case of the brilliant "Bone Tomahawk", however, this time, we have not had the same luck.

🔪 / 5

𝟔. 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐘

A father and his daughter decide to spend a weekend on the lake, meanwhile, a group of prisoners escape from jail.

We think that in cinema, especially in horror, it doesn´t really matter what you want to tell us, the thing is "how" you want to tell us.

When you see the short description of "Becky", you can imagine what you are going to find, and indeed, it will not blow your head off, but anyway, you want to have a good time and you are ready to have a good time. Half an hour has already passed since the film started, there is nothing you dislike but you feel that you could be watching something better, for example, the news.

We don´t think that "becky" is a bad movie, it´s just that it has nothing important to say or anything special to add to the genre. In the characters section we have a Lulu Wilson (Becky) that does what she can taken into account that her character does not make much sense. She plays a rebel teen that if things go wrong, she will not hesitate to become a mercIless killer. On other hand, we have Kevin James, who plays a very crazy Nazi but not enough to remember him as a first level villain. 

Anyway, we believe that it would have worked much better as a comedy and we would have liked that the script would have been more taken advantage off.

🔪 / 5

𝟓. 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑: 𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐒𝐒

“Black Water: Abyss” is not a disappointment, it's just a movie that we have already seen a thousand times.

A group of friends decide to explore a cave and ... Surprise! There is a very hungry crocodile.

From the beginning, we can see that the film has many limitations; the tension is poorly maintained, the violence comes and goes in a very confusing way and it seems that there is no person directing behind the cameras.

If you really want to see a horror movie about dangerous animals, please, don´t watch this one.

🔪 / 5

𝟒. 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒

A family decides to invite their neighbors to dinner at Christmas, what they don´t know is that they are carriers of an evil identity.

Again, we have an interesting premise, a good start and a promise that what we are going to see next is going to make us have a good time but this never comes. Despite having some very well gore moments, the rest of "hosts" is empty, none of the characters contributes anything and you are waiting and waiting for the turn but again, this never comes and when you got it, the movie is over.

The best: a few very well gore moments.

The worst: there is nothing especially enjoyable other than a few good moments.

🔪 / 5

𝟑. 𝟏𝟐 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓

In 12 hour shift we have an idea, that´s it. There's no more. You can feel during the whole long hour and a half that there is nothing else.

The characters and the situations are written with the intention of making us laugh and achieve just the opposite. We are left saturated and tired of eccentric unfunny characters and so many failed jokes. The worst of all is that it starts with an interesting premise but as we said, there is nothing else comes after that, a real pity.

The best: the starting point.

The worst: the rest of the movie.

0 / 5

𝟐. 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖

Take a concept, extend it until it has a feature film duration, insert absurd dialogues with tedious images full of neon lights and focus it on the indie public. The next step is to sell the product as it if were a surrealist and hilarious comedy.

The problem is that the joke is as funny as going to your grandma´s funeral and someone shits on her grave.

This is "she dies tomorrow"

The best: nothing

The worst: everything

0 / 5

𝟏. 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐋𝐀

Without any doubt, the crown jewel of disappointments of this edition.

We love zombies movies, the merrier the better, if the movie goes straight to the point, much better, if there are not too many sub-frames or too many secondary characters so that we don't get distracted with things that do not interest, much much better, and if in addition, it mixes the action genre with zombies to the perfection, we have one of our favourite movies of the last years.

All that is “Train to Busan”. That's why "peninsula" is so painful. It is not the worst of this top, it is not even considered a bad movie, in fact, you can get to enjoy (a lot) but we highly recommend that if you really want to watch it, please don´t do it thinking that this is a sequel of “train to Busan, because it isn't. It's an action movie with zombies, it's direct, entertaining and there's not too much time for sentimentalism.

The best: do you think that you can enjoy a hybrid between mad max and day of the dead? This is your movie.

The worst: it has nothing, but nothing to do with train to Busan.

🔪🔪 / 5

[straightupstrangetimes]

13 Not-So-Scary Movies to Get You in the Halloween Spirit!

Contributed by Kris Rustic, host of Obscure Anomalies podcast

Halloween is around the corner. Everywhere you look a horror movie is playing. For me, I love it. There is just something about being scared while knowing full well you are safe. But not everyone is into that sort of thing. My wife is one, so I tried to find lists of not-so-scary movies but was having trouble coming up with one, so I decided to write my own.

Please keep in mind, I did try to keep the list more kid and family friendly.

13. HOCUS POCUS

300 years have passed since the Sanderson sisters were executed for practicing dark witchcraft. Returning to life, thanks to a combination of a spell spoken before their demise and the accidental actions of Max, the new-kid-in-town, the sisters have but one night to secure their continuing existence. With the help of his younger sister Dani, his high school crush Allison, and a magical cat, it is up to Max to save the children of Salem.

A must see on any Halloween movie list. Full of light-hearted humour, this film is loved by people of all ages.

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

12. CASPER (1995)

Furious that her late father only willed her his gloomy-looking mansion rather than his millions, Carrigan Crittenden makes a plan to burn the place to the ground. That is, until she finds a map leading to a treasure hidden under the house. But when she enters the rickety mansion to seek her claim, she is frightened away by the mansions ghostly inhabitants. Determined to get her hands on this hidden fortune, Crittenden hires afterlife therapist Dr. James Harvey to exorcise the ghosts from the mansion. Harvey and his daughter Kat move in and soon Kat befriends Casper, the ghost of a young boy, who is “the friendly ghost.” But not so friendly are Casper’s uncles--Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie--who are determined to drive all “fleshies” away. It is up to Harvey and Kat to help the ghosts cross over to the other side.

I may get some flack putting Casper this high up on the list, but hey, to each their own. Casper is a fun little film filled with the right amount of supernatural scares placed inside a package that every age can enjoy.

Watch it: Starz; Amazon Rent or Buy

11. THE WITCHES

While staying at a hotel in England with his grandmother, Helga, young Luke inadvertently spies on a convention of witches. The Grand High Witch reveals a plan to turn all children into mice through a magical formula. When they find that Luke has overheard, the witches test the formula on him. Now, with the help of his grandmother and new friend Bruno Jenkins, Luke the mouse must fight back against the evil witches.

Based on the book of the same name, The Witches is a classic. This may be one of the more frightening films on the list but is still children-friendly. Besides, who doesn’t want to save the world as a mouse.

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

10. THE MONSTER SQUAD

The Monster Squad is a club of friends who idolize the classic monster-movies, especially their non-human stars. One day, Dracula, the Mummy, Frankenstein’s Monster, and other classic horror icons, all of which the club idolize, arrive in town in search of a magic amulet to destroy all the good in the world. It is up to the five friends to save the amulet from destruction and use it to cast the monsters into limbo.

One part The Goonies, one part Ghostbusters, and one part Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, the Monster Squad is a true cult classic that was way ahead of its time.

Watch for yourself and find out if the “Wolfman has nards.”

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

9. BEETLEJUICE

Adam and Barbara are like every other happily married couple -- who just happen to also be dead! Before they died, Adam and Barbara had spent their vacation to decorate and make the house their own, that is, until the fatal car crash. Unfortunately, a new family is moving in, and not quietly as they make plans to redecorate the house with the help of an interior designer. Adam and Barbara try to scare them out, but end up becoming the main attraction to the money making family. They call upon Beetlejuice to help, but Beetlejuice has more in mind than just helping.

While having a special place in my heart for taking place in Connecticut, Beetlejuice is an all around classic starting Michael Keaton and a young Winona Ryder.

Watch it:: Amazon Rent or Buy

8. PARANORMAN

Norman Babcock has the ability to speak with the dead -- and he often prefers their company to that of the living. Norman learns from his estranged uncle that a centuries-old witch’s curse on their town is real and about to come true -- and only Norman can stop it. When zombies rise from their graves, Norman and his ragtag team must summon all their courage and compassion to the limit to save his fellow townspeople. Taking place in the fictional town of Blithe Hollow, this stop-motion film is a beautiful take on the Salem Witch Trials.

I have to admit, I slept on this movie when it first came out. I had no interest in it at all, but then I watched it and became an instant favourite. The humour is a little more blue for a “children’s” movie, but the lesson learned in the end is valuable for all involved. Did I mention it is also well known for being the first mainstream animated film with an openly gay character?

Watch it: Sadly it is not available for streaming on Amazon, Netflix, or Hulu at this time, due to licensing agreements

7. FRANKENWEENIE

Young Victor Frankenstein is a science nerd and an outsider at school, but he does have one friend, his dog Sparky. Sadly, tragedy strikes, taking Sparky away from Victor. Heartbroken, Victor is given an idea of how to bring Sparky back to life. The experiment is a success and everything goes fine, that is, until his fellow students learn of his secret and use it to resurrect their beloved lost pets. Frankenweenie is a heartwarming tale of a boy and his dog, and the lengths we would go to keep our beloved friend.

I consider Frankenweenie to be the sister movie to ParaNorman. Both are stop motion and came out in the same year. The difference is Frankenweenie takes you back to the classic universal horror icons in a brand-new way. Did I mention it is in black and white and has that classic monster movie feel?

watch it: Rent on Youtube

6. NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

What happens to the Pumpkin King when he tires of being just that, the King of Halloween. Jack Skellington is bored of the same annual routine of scaring the people of the real world. One day, he stumbles upon Christmastown, full of bright colours and warm spirits, bringing a new lease to Jack’s life. He plots to bring Christmas under his control, only to find that the best-laid plans of mice and skeleton can go awry.

Originally I intended only one movie per director, but I don’t think you can begin to discuss family friendly Halloween without Tim Burton, especially because you cannot have a Halloween list without Nightmare Before Christmas. In all fairness, this is the perfect movie to finish out the year with.

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

5. COCO

Miguel dream of becoming a musician, just like his idol, Ernesto de la Cruz. The problem, his family has a generations-old ban on music. Desperate to prove his talent, Miguel steals Ernesto’s guitar and finds himself in the colourful Land of the Dead. With the help of a charming trickster named Héctor and Miguel’s dog Dante, Miguel must find his way back home, meanwhile learning the truth about his family’s past.

All bite. Coco is a Dia de los Muertos movie. I know some of you will complain that it is not a Halloween movie. Truth is, the spirit of Dia de los Muertos and Halloween are close enough for me to warrant inclusion into the list. The scenery and background is gorgeous, the story will tug at the heartstrings, and you will get to learn a little about the culture behind Dia de los Muertos, even if a bit Disneytized.

Watch it: Netflix

4. HALLOWEENTOWN

On Halloween, while Marnie is arguing with her mother Gwen, the kids’ grandmother Aggie comes to visit. Aggie wants to start Marnie’s witch training before her 13th birthday or Marnie will lose her powers forever. But there is another reason for Aggie’s visit. Something dark and evil is growing in Halloweentown, and Aggie wants help to defeat it. While Aggie and Gwen are arguing, Aggie uses magic, which Marnie observes. After Aggie leaves to return to Halloweentown, Marnie, Dylan and, unknown to Marnie and Dylan, Sophie follow her onto the return bus. Soon afterwards, Gwen follows the children to Halloweentown. While there, Aggie and Gwen are attacked by the dark force. Marnie, Dylan and Sophie have to race to get the ingredients to activate Merlin’s Wand to stop the evil and save Halloweentown.

A classic made for TV Disney movie, this film (and all sequels) are a perfect Halloween movie for all ages, and albeit a little cheesy at times. But who doesn’t love the occasional cheesy movie?

3. SCOOBY DOO AND THE WITCH’S GHOST

When the Master Gang Scooby meet a famous horror writer Ben Ravencroft (who may or may not be based off of Stephen King) during their last mystery, he invites them to his small hometown of Oakhaven, Massachusetts to join in the annual Autumn Fest. Ravencroft tells the Mystery Gang about the history of his ancestor, Sarah Ravencroft, who happened to be an evil witch and is supposedly haunting the town of Oakhaven. The gang decides to help the town and solve the mystery of the Witch’s Ghost.

This was tough to pick. We have Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School, Scooby Doo and Zombie Island, I mean honestly any Scooby Doo movie could fit. But I picked Witch’s Ghost for three simple reasons: takes place during the fall, witches, and the Hex Girls, a fictional all-female Goth Rock Band.

Watch it: Amazon Prime, Boomerang Channel on Amazon

2. MONSTER HOUSE

13-year-old DJ is obsessed with his creepy neighbour, Nebbercracker, and his eerie house. After all, rumours of his past have run rampant in the town. But one day, DJ and his friends witness the house come to life. Unable to find an adult that will believe him, and with Halloween vastly approaching, it is up to DJ and his friends to find a way to destroy the house before innocent trick-or-treaters meet their end.

At times, this film is a little on the frightening side, at least for the younger ones. The characters are well thought out and put together. While the animation is not ground breaking, it looks great and fits the movie perfectly. A perfect film for those looking for a fun, clean movie this Halloween.

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

1. GOOSEBUMPS 2: HAUNTED HALLOWEEN

While collecting junk from an abandoned house, best friends Sonny and Sam come across an unpublished “Goosebumps” book. Opening it, they release Slappy, a mischievous talking dummy. Hoping to start a family, Slappy kidnaps Sonny’s mother and brings fourth all of his ghoulish friends (creatures and monsters from the Goosebumps novels) to life, just in time for Halloween. The sleepy town becomes overrun with monsters, witches, and other mysterious creatures. It is up to Sonny, his sister Sarah, and Sam to save their town, his mother, and foil Slappy’s plans.

Goosebumps (2015) is a pure nostalgia ride with a brand new feel and Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween is no different. Trading in some of the humor for a little more horror feel, the movie has a little bit to offer for everyone.

Watch it: Netflix

The truth of the matter is, this list is not perfect and may never be complete, but it is a great starting point to the ever growing list of the Not-So-Scary Halloween movies. I feel in writing this, I have left so many great films off, so I have a list of some runner up films that just barely missed being on my top 13.

RUNNER UPS

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA

Dracula and the classic horror monsters are afraid of humans. In an attempt to take a vacation away from humanity, Dracula operates a hotel way off in the woods. One day, a brave human makes his way to the castle, where the human and Dracula’s daughter “Zing”.

ADDAMS FAMILY (1991)

A man claiming to be Uncle Fester, the missing brother of Gomez Addams shows up at the Addam’s household. The family is thrilled, however Morticia begins to suspect the man is a fraud as he cannot recall details of Fester’s life. With the help of a lawyer, Fester manages to get the Addams evicted from the home. Can the Addam’s family save Uncle Fester? Can they get their home back?

DOUBLE DOUBLE TOIL AND TROUBLE

The Farmer family is in debt and might lose their house. The Farmer Twins discover the somebody mean and shrewd is responsible for all the family problems. The determined twins try to trick at their evil aunt out of her magic moonstone to save their family home.

THE ADVENTURES OF ICHABOD AND MR. TOAD

Two animated adaptations of classic literature adapted by Disney make up this film, which is the only reason it made the runner up list as Mr. Toad, while good, has nothing to do with Halloween. However, in the “Legend of Sleepy Hollow” the gangly schoolmaster, Ichabod Crane, falls for the beautiful Katrina Van Tassel. Caught in a love triangle with Katrina and Brom Bones, Ichabod fears the local legend of the Headless Horseman. Is the legend more truth than lore?

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS MEET THE WOLFMAN

Alvin loves monsters and monster movies, though he is terrified of them. Stuck with Werewolves on the mind, he believes his next door neighbour is one. Reluctantly, Simon helps Alvin investigate the neighbour. Meanwhile Theodore is bitten by a strange dog, and finds his inner “inner monster” and starts behaving like a werewolf himself.

Did I miss your favourite Not-So-Scary Halloween movie? Let me know what it is in the comments below.

_________________________________

Enjoyed this piece of high strangeness? Share it with your world!

[darklingichor]

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell *Major Spoilers*

I wrote a little about this book last month, but I want to write more. This is one of those books that has been lingering in my brain so what follows will be long and rambling.

Now, I haven't read Fangirl I've been pulled more toward action adventure and humor in my fiction, for a while now. Hmm, I wonder what could have happened a few years back  that would cause a Pacific Northwest liberal to feel the need for escape? Just one of those things, I suppose.

I need to read it, if only because I wrote Harry Potter fanfic for years and sort of lost myself in it right after high school.

Anyway.

I've heard people calling Carry On an HP knock off. I don't get this. Simon Snow is obviously Fangirl's Harry Potter. That makes Carry On more of a tongue in cheek homage to HP and stories like it as well as something of a love letter to fanfic writers.

A lot of the main characters start out as your standard for this type of story. "The Hero", "The Mentor", "The Damsel", "The Enemy", "The Unspeakable Evil."

Through the book it becomes clear that our hero is well meaning but ill-suited for the role that his mentor thinks he place him in. The mentor is shown to be unhinged. The damsel is sick of screaming and doesn't want to be in the story at all. The enemy is love sick for the hero and dealing with the puberty from hell. The unspeakable evil, isn't. Its just an unforeseen byproduct of the mentor's plan, in which, the hero, is a pawn.

The book plays with archetypes and I read some of them as being fairly meta about their expected place in the story.

Agetha, especially, seems to know her role and resent it. She's who is saved by the hero, whether she likes it or not.

Baz is so certain of his role as "The Enemy" that until his role flips, he's sure his destiny is to be killed by the person he's in love with.

Simon knows his role so well, he's on auto pilot as a defence mechanism. He's either going to die, or he'll get a stock Happily Ever After. He doesn't even allow himself to think too much about what really matters to him, because he knows his life isn't really his.

I would have loved this book because of everything I wrote above, but add to it the nods to fan contribution? It was enough to make me remember my old ff.n login!

I don't know if Rainbow Rowell researched fan fiction but I figure she must have.

I mean, the things I saw played with and reshaped in Carry On, are fanfic tropes. Rowell took things that grew out of fans having fun with their favorite characters and made them canon.

Main character going out with an exchange student, pop culture references, evil good guy, and:

Four words: Draco is a vampire.

Sure, not every fic that used these were the best, but so what? Many were sincere.

What better way to go to Hogwarts as a person raised outside the UK than to live though an OC in an exchange program?

It was weird that no one in the wizard world listened to muggle music, watched movies or TV. Even the muggleborns? I'm sorry, but I was in the same age range as the characters. In fact, if Harry were real, he would be three years older than me. You can't convince me that there were not at least a couple of muggleborns who were  sending an owl a week to remind their parents to tape Friends or My So-Called Life.

There were a fair few stories where Dumbledore or even Harry turned out to be evil. Even before we found out Dumbledore wasn't a saint. It can be fun to play with expectations and Dumbledore was too perfect for too long.

The vampire thing? I mean, why not? Either Draco or Snape. It fits enough for a fic, and you can get some fun stuff out of it. Besides Hogwarts allowed a warewolf, why not a vampire?

The point is, this book reminds me of some goofy fics I read but also reminds me of some that I sometimes have to remind myself aren't canon, because fan fiction can be amazing.

Example: It has been years but I still remember a great fic that someone wrote about Uric The Oddball's years at Hogwarts. I don't remember much about it off hand but I do know that if I re-read HP, when Uric is mentioned, I think of this story like it is something that is actually in the history of the series. (Dude, I googled "Uric the Oddball fan fiction" on a whim. Popped right up: Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt by Ariana Deralte. Guess I shouldn't be surprised! Maybe I should read it again to see if it's still as good as I remember).

So yeah, Carry On is so not an HP knock off and has a number of things that I think make me like it more.

The first one is diversity. It is very nice to have it explicitly said in the text that characters are of different ethnicities, sexualities, and abilities. Watford is a far better representation of a population than Hogwarts is, outside of fanfic (It wasn't there, people wrote it in).

Then there is magic itself, it comes from somewhere it's in the environment, it has to do with celestial alignment, people give words power to channel that energy.

That brings me to something that made me adore the world building here.

The actuality of Simon Snow's universe is that Mages cannot exist independently without the Normals. Without the Normals giving weight and meaning to turns of phrase, rhyme and songs, the Mages couldn't do what they do. Add to that, this means that magic is ever evolving and the Mages must learn about and be a part of, to some extent, the Normal world. This makes Mages who look down on Normals seem even more ridiculous.

I also think this book handled romance better than Harry Potter. I don't know what it was but the relationships seemed awkward and strained in HP. Maybe it was because most of it was shoved into one book, like Hogwarts's water supply was spiked with hormones? I don't know.

What I do know is that even though Simon and Agetha are going through the motions of being together in this book, they still feel like two people who have been dating for a long time.

We don't get a lot about Penny and her boyfriend, but the way she is described talking about him reminds me of how my best friend would talk about her boyfriends when she was visiting me. The way she would go on, you'd think that he was on the moon instead of 90 miles away. I bought that Penny and her boyfriend enjoy each other's company.

And the biggie. Simon and Baz

I almost didn't read this book for two reasons. First: Vampire main character. I love vampires, but I lived through the deluge of Twilight, True Blood, and Vampire Diaries, not to mention that every other book seemed to be about vampires. Even though I didn't watch or read all of them, I just got vampired out.

Second: I have never been one for the whole "enemies to love interest" thing. The Harry/Draco pairing never spoke to me.  Not that I never read fics that managed that ship well, it was just not my favorite, probably because I just never liked Draco.  I tend to prefer romances that are built on friendship (Remus and Sirius dated each other at some point, and nothing can convince me otherwise).

All that being said, I like the Simon/Baz pairing.

I like that Baz freely admits to the reader that a lot of his tormenting of Simon is pigtail pulling.

I like that Simon is more or less: "I like a guy? A guy who was my nemisis? That's new, let's go for it."

There's none of that "Hate turns to love" shit that I personally can't stand.  None of the "I am evil, yet his light draws me" or "His darkness is so seductive"

Baz isn't a villain needing to rethink his position. He's a slightly snobby guy with a lot of family pressure, who is in love with a dude who has been set up as opposition, by the adults in his life.

Simon isn't a good guy wanting to be bad. He's a guy who is following the path set out for him without giving context to his feelings with thought, because he doesn't think. So, when Baz doesn't show up at the first of the year, Simon knows 3 things for sure:

Baz is his enemy

His enemy is not there

He feels very uneasy about it.

Why?

See numbers 1 & 2

This equals out to "plotting" in Simon's mind because that's what enemies do.

It doesn't dawn on him that he was actually missing Baz and that he has romantic feelings for him until later

I also like the interaction between them. Again, I buy that they like each other. The simpler moments, like sharing food, or being flirty. It also makes sense that Baz is so nervous and guarded about the relationship. It fits that they would bicker and argue while trying to figure every thing out.

The relationships feel authentic.

In fact all of the relationships between  the characters feel authentic.  The sibling relationships between Ebb and Nicky, I know siblings that close. The interaction between Baz and his little sister, I know people like them too. The Friendships; in my opinion, too few friends in fiction are depicted messing with each other or being lovingly annoyed by each other.

I've known my two best friends most of my life. Not a day goes by where one of us doesn't say something that if it was said by anyone else, it would lead to a fight. Said by us, it's funny, or at least something we can't argue with.

So I related when Baz's friend complained that he had wasted his childhood hating Simon now that Simon and Baz were no longer enemies and Baz said: "What else were you going to do with your childhood?"

I spent my 20's with my friends seemingly taking turns crashing at my apartment. I spent most of my time ossulating between wishing they would go home and being glad they were there.

So at the beginning of the book, when Penny won't leave Simon's room? I saw myself in the way Simon felt about it.

That authentic and relatable quality was what I really liked about the quiet - if not Happily Ever After - then the Attempting Normal For Now ending each character got.

Well, as normal as you can get with a story involving  mages, vampires and powerful Elton John songs.

I am a dodecahedron of geekdom, btw and the classic rock side jumped up and down clapping hands at all of the music references (and giggled when Carry On was fallowed by Wayward Son which will be followed by Anyway The Wind Blows). 

And now we come to the reason I have not read the sequel even though it is sitting in a bag with the rest of this year's Powell's haul.

From what I have read, Wayward Son is, at least in part, about what happens after Happily Ever After and ends on a cliffhanger. 

After Happily Ever After with a cliffhanger and no release date... Yeah, that will drive me crazy. I haven't even read the second book and I'm already thinking about the third. Aw man! Who dies? Who breaks up? Who becomes evil?

So, even though road trip stories are right up there with time travel stories as one of my favorites, even though I love the idea of showing a character battling depression, even though I love these characters, period; Wayward Son will stay unread until I run out of new books to read, or the next book's release date is close. Whichever comes first, because I want to think of the characters in their quiet ending ending for a little while.

[spaceorphan18]

Glee - The Exit Quiz

Okay, I’m gonna rapid fire answer these, cause why not.  I really recommend you guys do the same! (also - thanks @honeysucklepink - for sending in an ask <3) 

1. favorite character?

Kurt Hummel - love him so hard (but obviously, y’all know I love Blaine and many others, too) 

2. favorite teacher?

Probably Beiste or Emma

3. favorite couple?         

Klaine - be shocked.        

4. least favorite character?

Believe it or not, Ken Tanaka - I just cannot so hard

5. least favorite teacher?

Oh Will - he’s a disgrace to the profession. 

6. least favorite couple?    

I don’t know? Long term - Probably anything related to the Jarley/Ryder triangle - because it bored me to tears.   Short term - Puck/Shelby - don’t get me started. 

7. favorite duet?        

Off the top of my head - Happy Days/Get Happy, it hits the warm place of my heart        

 8. favorite bromance?

Sam and Blaine, kinda by default.  I wasn’t huge about the male friendships on the show. 

 9. favorite episode?

Oh c’mon, y’all know it’s New New York

10. favorite season?           

This is actually hard - I think season 2 has my favorite bits, but season 5 is my favorite overall?      

11. least favorite season?              

Season 3 - continued to be shocked  

12. favorite favorite episode?               

Um, did we not just go over this? 

13. favorite cast member?                

Oh Chris, you know it’s Chris

14. funniest character?                

Jane Lynch *lol

15. which character's clothes would you like? 

EEsh, hard pass on most of them. 

16. favorite competition episode?      

Original Song - almost by default, I really can’t stand most of the competition episodes.           

17. what episode can you watch over and over again?                

Most of them, and I have ;)  I like Love, Love, Love might be the most rewatchable though. 

18. what character do you find the best looking?      

I had to think... is it Kurt? Yeah, no, it’s definitely Kurt...           

19. why did you start watching glee?               

Okay, so I’ll tell this whole story... 

So, ten years ago, I got a new job, and moved to a new city, and met a (seemingly) nice guy - with whom I went out with a few times and (unfortunately) it didn’t work out because I got dumped cause he wasn’t that great and still seeing his ex.  Fun, right? Anyway - a friend of mine was like - I’m sorry you’re sad - watch this show! You like musicals and are okay with gay, you’ll like it! 

So - she gave me the season 1 (part 1) dvd and I was like - yeah, that’s fun, but nothing about it grabbed me.  Except DSB - that gave me chills.  But then she insisted we watch it together every time it was on, and so we did... through, eh, half way through season 2? 

And I was, like, nope, this show is just the worst - it’s mean spirited and mean and I am not really enjoying it.  So I stopped.  For about a year. 

So a year-ish later, I got let go from a second job (that was fine - it was super shady and people got arrested, don’t do random online jobs guys) and had some free time, so decided to catch up on Glee and **gasp** watched The First Time and absolutely fell in love with Klaine.  And then I rewatched the whole series and really appreciated it more the second time around.  

And years later, I’m now sitting here with you people.  Lol <3

20. how long have you watched glee?

March 2010                

21. what scene or episode made you fall in love with the show?   

The Auditorium scene from The First Time.  It took my breath away, which hadn’t happened since I started watching The Office.              

22. if you could wake up and be one of the characters for a day, who would you like to be?              

Elliott Gilbert - he seems to have his life together.   

23. what character would you most like to meet?           

Cooper Anderson - I mean who wouldn’t?      

24. favorite newbie character?             

Unique in the original newbies, Jane of the second group   

25. who would you be most want to be friends with?           

Elliott Gilbert - he’d get my life together     

 26. if you could have a one night stand with any character, who would you choose?           

Cooper.  I mean there are some things in life you’d just have to go for.  I’d imagine Santana would give you a pretty good time for a one night thing, too, though.      

 27. favorite fan fiction?                

Probably, Misqueue’s Scenes from a Breakup.  She really taught me the power of good fanfic. 

28. favorite headcanon?                

Hmm, this is so morbid, but the strongest one that comes to mind is that they both live to old age, but Blaine is the one who dies first, and Kurt’s kind of unbarable to be around afterwards, and I once wrote a tiny thing about this - how Kurt would get into fits and be nearly intolerable, but the seasoned nurses ask him to talk about Blaine, and it calms him down.  

29. favorite person that has guest starred on glee?

Hmmm, based on their characters - Matt Bomer, Adam Lambert, or Sarah Jessica Parker. Oh and Katey Segal.  I’m so sad that they didn’t bring her back. 

30. favorite minor character?                

I have a deep appreciate for Stoner Brett.  Also Lord Tubbington

31. what character annoys you the most?    

Ken Tanaka, uapoweifjodsifjeaw;oifh yuk. Also up there is Sandy Ryerson and JBI.             

32. what surprised you the most? 

I’m not sure what you mean??  Mostly that I’ve grown used to the idea of Blaine and Karofsky enough that I don’t hate it and I get why it was a thing.                 

33. which character resembles you the most?                

Thought processing wise - Kurt.  Though emotionally, maybe a bit of Blaine and Mercedes.  

34. which character are you most connected to?

Kurt                

35. 5 favorite quotes?

oh - god, i’m bad at remembering things off the top of my head -- 

My favorite one is: “let me autocorrect that for you.  Lima doesn’t have a zoo, why’d we think it did?” the delivery on that is the best.  

also the one where Jane Lynch goes on about giving Will a cat and punching him in the face.  

And the Kurt line about answering the phone saying ‘she’s dead’.                 

36. an unpopular opinion you have about this show?             

Oh, I have so many... mostly, season 2 isn’t as good as people claim it is, and season 6 is much better than people claim it is.    

 37. plot point you would've wanted to change, and how would you change it?   

The biggest one for me is adding in a catalyst to Kurt’s story to head back to Blaine.  Not so much change, but add to the already existing story.  

I’d also get rid of the whole Shelby/Puck thing all together.  Did not need to be a thing.   

(Where are questions 38-39??)

40. what will you miss the most?               

The week to week-ness of having discussions with people.   

41. top 10 favorite songs each season? 

Wow - this is a big question, time to get the iphone out... 

Season 1: 

Don’t Stop Believin’ (Pilot version) 

Defying Gravity (Kurt version) 

My Life Would Suck Without You

Run Joey Run (for comedic reasons)

Rose’s Turn

I Dreamed a Dream

Bad Romance

Bohemian Rhapsody

Don’t Stop Believin’ (Journey version) 

Over the Rainbow              

Season 2: 

I Want to Hold Your Hand

Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy

Teenage Dream

Forget You (Don’t ask - I love it) 

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Misery

Blackbird

Raise Your Glass

Loser Like Me

As If We Never Said Goodbye

Season 3: 

Something’s Coming

Last Friday Night

Hit Me With Your Best Shot/One Way or Another

Perfect

We Are Young

I Will Always Love You

Love Shack

How Will I Know

I Have Nothing

Not the Boy Next Door

Season 4: 

Call Me Maybe

It’s Time

Teenage Dream (Acoustic) 

The Scientist

Dark Side

Being Alive

This is the New Year

Just Can’t Get Enough

Come What May

Mamma Mia

Season 5: 

All You Need is Love

Make You Feel My Love

Hold On

Defying Gravity 

Loser Like Me

Don’t Stop Believin’

Rockstar

Pumpin’ Blood

All of Me

Pompeii

Season 6: 

Home

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow/Head Over Feet

Somebody Loves You

At Last

Listen To Your Heart

Popular

Some Day We’ll Be Together

Daydream Believer

This Time

I Lived

42. favorite new directions group cover?                

I mean, Don’t Stop Believin’ is the ultimate classic - but I have a strong appreciation for Hold On. 

43. favorite warbler cover?                

Oh, god, Teenage Dream probably? But then Raise Your Glass

44. favorite vocal adrenaline cover?                

Bohemian Rhapsody - nothing else really comes close. 

46. favorite celebrity judge?                

The Nun who used to be a stripper.  

47. someone you would've liked to see guest star on the show.                

Julie Andrews as Kurt’s grandmother.  

48. favorite tribute episode?                

The Beatles and Whitney Houston

49. what episode made you cry the most?                

The Break Up - partly cause of the music, and partly because of the circumstances of fandom around that time :P 

50  what episode made you laugh the most?

This show was a comedy?  (I’ll have to think about it and get back to you) 

[thinkingnamjoonkei]

How we shouldn't use idols: Extreme shipping and moral superiority

An idol’s talent is not a weapon. An idol does not exist so you can use them to exert your superiority over other people. An idol in a crazy popular ship is not defined by the person they are supposedly ‘dating'. An idol is not a fanfiction character and you cannot project what you read in fiction onto their real-life personas. An idol is not a predictable, naive 2D character with no sense of complexity whose human flaws should be smothered and erased to fit in with your narrow idea of what you would like them to be. An idol does not exist for you.

This all seems like things that antis do, but we as fans do these things all the time. We need to be careful of how we represent and use our idols to justify our own problems on the internet because it ultimately reflects badly on the idols themselves.

Alot of idols get hate because of the way that fans and antis alike use them as symbols for whatever personal cause/belief that they have. These people put their own sense of value into these idols. They viciously tear down other idols to prove the superiority of their faves and, by extension, themselves. This is a form subconsciously trying to find validation through an idol who you think represents you. If we didn't have such toxic ideas of idols and what they represent I would hope that there would be less people throwing hate for this reason.

We also need to be careful about how we tie ships to the personalities of individual idols. For some idols, their ships are so closely tied to their identity and their actions that they don’t get to be individuals. It becomes hard for both new and old fans alike to appreciate these people outside of their ships. They are always half a person, only interesting when they are doing fanservice or couplely shit with your fave. It seems like the first people you encounter on Youtube and twitter are extreme shippers who come across as shippers first and BTS stans 2nd or 5th. This is only a problem because these stans’ depictions and portrayals of the members become the first ways that people are introduced to the members and one of the main ways they learn to understand them. Some people learn about Jimin through his ships and interpret everything he does in real-life as needy, clingy, submissive, dominant , sexy, slutty. Also, I find that he always needs to be someone's boyfriend/or (even baby/dom) like he always has to be sleeping on the couch if he interacts intimately with other members. Everything he does is tied to one ship or another and outside of performances Jimin can never just be Jimin. He always has to be 'Jimin plus someone else' as though his charms are better consumed in a shipping environment.

It can take a while for some people to unlearn this and it’s hard when ships are everywhere Youtube videos and in the comments, on Twitter and Tumblr and Vlives and even in some magazines. Jimin isn't the only one who suffers from this or course Jin was also a victim of this.

This last point is for everyone. The more you god/hero worship idols and put them on a high pedestal above mortals, the more painful it is for them to exist and the more you are setting them up for failure.

Imagine it like this, they have no say in how high we put them on this pedestal. They could be entirely uncomfortable with being placed up. In the clouds as ‘god-tier’ because they are not gods and they know that. It’s scary to be put up so high when the fans that care about you are the ones that want you up there. But there’s only one way down. Do we really want to put so much stress on them to live up to the gods we talk about online?

They try so hard to be the inhuman, perfect symbol of immaculacy that we want them to be that they hide their flaws and their true selves to impress us. One day they may become tired of being seen as something they’re not and in last-ditch attempt to take back control they might decide to jump from the pedestal we put them on. That’s gonna be one hard fall from grace and y’all are going to be disappointed and betrayed when they hit the bottom and show you that they aren’t what you wanted them to be.

However, having said that, they'll be better because they would be multifaceted and relatable human beings that are capable of anything they want and everything we can’t imagine.

P.S: I hope this makes sense. I have the flu and my mind and body are really fuzzy rn but I really thought it was important to say. Also, this goes for all idols I’m just using Jimin as an example.

Kei