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#such things could also just be a me problem. i was never all that good at standing up for mysrlf šŸ˜«šŸ˜«
myfairkatiecat Ā· 3 days
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okay so shannon giving us a keefe pov seems actually lowkey important and what i would do in the story rn but I'm not convinced she's going to use it to do the things I feel like we need her to do.
let me explain.
Shannon set Sophie up as a character who behaves certain ways. A lot of those ways are very good, and she's certainly a hero, but she also has character flaws that get worked through. For example, she can be a little reckless (personally I would have made all the same choices) (I know we think of Keefe as the reckless one but he's a different type of reckless) she can prioritize the wrong things, she can be disorganized, etc (all things that are super valid and understandable and make her relatable btw. I am a sophie foster defender)
and BECAUSE sophie is the protagonist, we see all of this develop. She has certain qualities that are a little stagnant sometimes, at least if you look from the outside, but there's actually a ton of development going on. She hears others' opinions on her actions, good and bad, and the reader sees how this impacts her and how she grows and changes, even if that change is nonlinear or in many ways she stays the same and just grows more mature.
Here's the thing about Keefe. he wandered out of side character territory and into second main character territory starting at the end of everblaze and peaking in legacy. And Shannon has been INTENTIONALLY writing him with consistent character flaws since the beginning, explainable by his past circumstances in fascinating ways. But we aren't there to see a lot of the falling out for that stuff.
A lot of people complain that keefe never faced consequences for stealing the caches or never had the black swan or adults yelling at him or mistrusting him or his friends avoiding him. And like... we do not know that. It could simply be that that was just not Sophie's problem at the time. Sophie also may have simply not been one of the people giving him a difficult time about it. In fact, we know she wasn't, but boy oh boy Fitz certainly didn't bounce back in less than five seconds. And we don't know what the Council and/or black swan did with him that sophie just wasn't involved in--and bc it didn't become relevant to the plot from sophie's perspective, sophie being the actual MC, it just seems unimportant.
Another thing is that Keefe has a lot of the same character flaws throughout the series, but they do shift somewhat with his experiences, and that's without us even seeing in his head, you know? So here's the thing.
Shannon went and started developing Keefe like a second protagonist (who is interestingly also an anti hero in some ways) and even if you aren't a person who thinks he's the most developed character on the paper (disagree but see where you're coming from) he's DEFINITELY most developed in shannon's brain, and that bleeds through. But then we ONLY see Sophie's perspective BECAUSE THIS IS SOPHIE'S STORY, and everything revolves around what is relevant to the plot from her perspective, and then keefe is just in the background being extremely important and relevant and having all these extra issues that we ONLY ever see from sophie's perspective.
Unlocked was... well, it was half a book, and only half of it was keefe. I actually do think his perspective was enlightening in some ways, but a full keefe book at this point kind of seems necessary to me. Because... he's taken on the role of another main character in this story, but we don't see any of that development happening, and for a lot of people i can see that getting taxing. Now I get that those same people also wish keefe would just. step back from the plot. and i get that! but I think with the way he's involved in the plot NOW, seeing his perspective is important, because sophie's POV (especially with her unreliable narration) doesn't give us enough of a window into the complexity that is keefe's worldview right now, especially with all the ways he keeps impacting things. it's just a really important perspective to have at this point.
Shannon, if unraveled is just keefe trying different human foods and giggling like a kotlc react on wattpad, I will probably enjoy it bc i love your work always, but i will also be shaking you by the shoulders because we need this book and you better spend it doing the things we need
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maryfailstowrite Ā· 2 days
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!! DRDT CH2 EP14 SPOILERS !!
Okay so, I think there are two possible routes the storyline could take regarding Teruko, and as much as I wish one of them was true, I have a bad feeling itā€™s going to be the other.
1. Eden is actually the culprit and Teruko shatters. We know Teruko actually cared (even if just a bit) about Eden even before the trial, so if sheā€™s actually the culprit, it wouldnā€™t just be a ā€œoh fuck I was wrong, I shouldnā€™t have repaid the favorā€ moment, itā€™s going to be a ā€œoh fuck, one of the few people I decided to take a bet on backstabbed me AGAINā€ moment. Not only her, but Eden killing Arei would mean Eden never intended to be friends with her, so thatā€™s another trust betrayal for Teruko to overthink. Plus, if Eden is the culprit, it means all her tears and her sweet persona were fake, at the very least in the trial, if not for the whole killing game. The realization of that would devastate Teruko, and sheā€™d regress to distrusting everyone even harder. Weā€™d have to go through this whole process of learning how to trust people again, in an environment that is going to become more hostile, because Eden being the culprit would be a slap in the face to everyone, I feel. Sheā€™s the beacon of optimism in the group, and the one actively trying to keep people together and entertained, and knowing how much everyone else hates each other, it would be rough to get along with anyone like that. Disaster, basically. A heartbreaking disaster.
Oh, and also, David would be getting what he wants, which is to debilitate Teruko. A lose-lose situation no matter how you see it.
2. Someone else is the culprit and Teruko comes out of this stronger. She realizes that trusting people can actually lead her the right way, and so Teruko finishes her process of learning how to trust people again. She not only acknowledges that she canā€™t isolate herself from everyone without consequences, she learns that trusting people can lead to good things too, and that not everyone around her is out to get her. Also, Eden is still alive, so not only can her bond with Teruko grow stronger, but sheā€™s still there to keep the group from pouncing at each other at any given time. Of course, thereā€™d still be conflicts and shit (more murders need to happen, after all), but for a while, we could get a more trusting Teruko and a group (or at least a few people) that support her through dealing with everything thatā€™s on her way.
And David wouldnā€™t get what he wants, which would just be really satisfying (can you tell I donā€™t like David from this post? Can you?)
Problem here is, as we all know, Terukoā€™s luck is shit. The world might as well be out to get her. Iā€™m not sure if I would like to go through another chapter of Teruko not interacting with anyone (since sheā€™s our POV, we wouldnā€™t get much insight on how Edenā€™s loss breaks the overall group), but the story could be leading to that. The parallels between Min and Eden are paralleling too strong on this one fam. Sheā€™s the one that has some connection with Arei and the case, and Ace really doesnā€™t have much to do with anything. He was bleeding out, and even if we assume he took the tape like that, was he really in a good enough condition to do all that took to kill Arei not so long after he got his throat slit? Heā€™s powered by pure spite and we know it, sure, but I think itā€™s a bit too far of a stretch.
And the chapterā€™s theme ā€œnot all that glittersā€ would fit Eden being the culprit, whereas I donā€™t really think thatā€™d be the case with Ace. Of course, one could argue that the theme was already there with J, Arei and David, so itā€™s not like youā€™d need the culprit to fit it too, but it would make the chapter more cohesive, I think. Setting up such a strong chapter theme, using various characterā€™s arcs for it, and then have the culprit not be related to that theme in any way shape or form would be a bit weird, or at least thatā€™s how I see it.
The culprit could be someone else, of course, and that said person could fit the themeā€¦ but itā€™s already episode fourteen. Are we really going back to ā€œeveryone could be a suspectā€ at this point of the trial? It feels like itā€™s too advanced to put in another plot twist that leaves us at square one again. These two might actually be the only two suspects, and Iā€™m not having any fun with it šŸ˜­.
We might get a ā€œEden was not as sweet and nice as we thoughtā€ moment and Iā€™m not here for it. If thatā€™s actually what happens, tears are going to be shred. With all due respect to Ace fans, let him be the culprit PLEAAAAASE (he probably wonā€™t be. Iā€™m just in denial. Let me grieve).
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nynyhaha Ā· 3 days
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Do you think Chrollo expected the Troupe to last 12+ years? The expectations set at the start largely determine his current views. How good did they do?
Now Ofc heā€™d want it to āœØlast foreverāœØ or as long as possible,but how long did he think theyā€™d actually get to live?
Chrollo in yorknew carries himself with a confidence that the Spider will live on way beyond him,we somewhat feel like the adventure is only starting. But at the same time he is lost and doesnā€™t really know the direction the Troupe is heading in.
At the start he mentioned offering up their lives in order to: -find Sarasaā€™s murderers and get revenge -free Meteor City from crime/mafia so that no child can be kidnapped again
We know the troupe later also broke the deal where Meteorians are exchanged for money. This is a significant achievement,it implies the Spider provides enough money instead,and it hints at the fact that the previous points are already done,that Chrollo has achieved what he planned.
Those were things that he was ready to die for,things for which the others were also ready to sacrifice themselves. And thatā€™s what they kind of expected,right?
My theory is that they greatly surpassed their expectations.
If they were still fighting for any of the above,we wording have this sense of directionless roaming around that is present in the yorknew arc. The Spiders seem to be beyond the theme of revenge unless it directly affects them. Uvo even said he hates those who fight him for revenge reasons (and I wonder why).
Maybe little Chrollo wouldā€™ve marvelled at the progress he managed to make in those years,but he probably couldnā€™t know how it would affect his psyche. He knew heā€™d become a ā€œvillainā€ but he probably meant that heā€™d be fighting for a noble end using bad means. What is that end now?
The Spider needs some sort of plan to justify its existence. For its death to be a tragedy,it needs the will to live and some goal to achieve. Or is it a question of a candle stump losing its flame once itā€™s burned down?
Should the Spider just retire?
If they have achieved all of their previous goals,the answer could well be yes. Sadly those goals arenā€™t milestones that you have to reach once and for all,but Meteor Cityā€™s safety is fragile and needs maintenance.
And yet,itā€™s never stated as the reason why the Spider has to keep moving. Maybe to the characters itā€™s obvious,but we as the audience can only speculate. Also it would make the problem way too simple.
ā€œOh the Spider is still needed back at homeā€ Ofc it is,duh,but thatā€™s not enough to satisfy the quest for meaning.
It would be interesting if the Troupe started out as a team thatā€™s some sort of necessary evil (and the backstory chapters present it in such light) but now that all itā€™s done itā€™s no longer necessary so just evil, but they donā€™t see it as such.
You know,a band of child soldiers that grew up and is now terrorising the world because their original purpose is completed.
But how is the Troupe unnecessary when itā€™s the solution to the Mafia problem? Itā€™s rather that they donā€™t know how much more that can do and how much of that will matter at the end.
No one is forcing them. All of their duty is ā€œself inflictedā€,they chose to carry that burden.
Are they suffering from success?
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Chrollo thought on the way to avenging Sarasa he might loose his own life or some of his friends. He made that commitment still,and then they all survived. Ok,they lost number 8 & 4,but those werenā€™t original members and itā€™s still lucky that the rest made it all the way to yorknew. Yk,after theyā€™ve already done what they wanted (and yes,they have already found the murderers,fight me on that, I KNOW its the truth).
So Uvogin and Pakunoda didnā€™t die on the way,but after theyā€™ve arrived at the top.(But at the top there was nothing :()
Is that to say that they couldā€™ve hopped off and lived a safer life? At this point they were unable to. Much like Chrollo,they might not have a proper self outside the Spider. AND YET the reason it hurts so much is because they died for the Spider after it lost its main goal. This is why Chrollo quickly needs a reason to ground it all since they couldnā€™t have died for nothing.
There must be a reason why theyā€™re still doing this other than ā€œwe canā€™t otherwiseā€, right?
RIGHT?
In conclusion, Chrollo is what happens after one survives the ā€œKurapika arcā€ and completes his revenge. He might be free to live on,but after he threw away his life and morals already,this existence looses meaning and so do all deaths for the sake of it.
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damnfandomproblems Ā· 2 days
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5796: I used to think similarly, I never thought other adults couldn't enjoy things or try to stop them from enjoying things, but I felt I personally had be this idealized version of a "mature adult".
I stopped watching Scooby-Doo. I got rid of my bouncy ball collection, my plushies, my Polly Pockets and Littlest Petshop toys. I stopped reading Y.A. books and stopped playing "kids" games.
This completely wrecked me.
I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and was dealing with family issues, so when I went to college I just chose a major I thought I could handle at a college that was states away from my family.
I struggled. I struggled so damn much. I still had no idea what I wanted to do. I liked my major, but I didn't love it, not enough to finish it. And I was so far away from my best friends and the few family I adored. I was so stressed that that was my primary mood most days. And I had no outlet to safely let out that stress. I got rid of everything I loved and was forcing myself to like things and be someone I never could like and be.
All this accomplished was making me constantly breakdown. That was practically all I did when I wasn't in class. My "good" days just consisted of me mindlessly lying in bed, but that was better than my bad days. And not only that, I also stressed myself out so much, I gave myself chronic migraines for the rest of my life. Now I have to deal with days where even a soft glow is too bright and just shifting slightly in bed is too loud. And sometimes during my migraines half my limbs sort of stop working. I will never get my pre-college health back.
This wouldn't have happened if I didn't force myself to "grow up" and stopped enjoying what made me happy.
Yes, some adults can behave terribly and inappropriately. Yes, kids and teens should have spaces for themselves. But kids and teens can be rude too. They can behave inappropriately and commit crimes too. And they shouldn't make their spaces by stealing it from adults.
Yeah younger people should be safe and healthy. But so should older people. And younger people's health and safety shouldn't come at the expense of older people's.
Posting as a response to a previous problem.
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clarisse0o Ā· 2 days
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Camp Wiegman-Part 75
Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
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Alternative Universe: Military School
Words: 5K
Masterlist
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
Saturday, March 26th; 10:00 AM - Lucy and Onaā€™s Apartment.
"Come on, call her. Youā€™re not going to stare at that phone all day, weā€™ve got other things to do," teased Lucy, who had just come out of the bathroom.
I groan to show my displeasure, but eventually, I dial my momā€™s number. It was time to handle it, and I couldn't keep putting it off. The ringing tone echoed... for a long time... When it stopped, I was ready to speak, my mouth open, but I got her voicemail instead. My heart relaxed at this. I don't know why, but I felt relieved. I immediately hung up.
"I got her voicemail."
Lucy laughed. She definitely noticed my reaction.
"Well, better luck next time. Go get ready, or weā€™ll be late."
"Youā€™re the one who spent forever in the bathroom."
"Oh, so now itā€™s my fault, huh?" she laughed as I was already heading down the hallway. "Remind me, who didnā€™t want to get out of bed?" she shouted so I could hear her.
"At eight-thirty, I had every reason to stay in bed!" I yelled back from the bathroom.
I could hear her laughing as I started putting on my makeup. It was the last thing I had to do. Lucy had wanted to take a shower, so I couldnā€™t access my things earlier because I wanted to give her some privacy. She needs to understand that weekends are sacred too. Not all of us are motivated to go jogging in the morning. Iā€™ll never understand her on that. Weā€™re supposed to grab brunch with our friends before heading to the gym. Itā€™ll be good to all be together again. Aitana and Beth are supposed to join us later in the day, according to Lucy. I was finishing my makeup with mascara when my phone rang. I groaned seeing my momā€™s face on the screen. Lucy came over at that moment, already making fun of me.
"Answer it, or I will."
"Definitely not."
I rolled my eyes, picking up my phone from beside the sink. Sheā€™s been pushing me to do this since yesterday, and I have to admit, sheā€™s right. Otherwise, Iā€™d never do it. I answered the call and held the phone to my ear with my shoulder while finishing my second eye.
"Hello?"
"Ona! Did you try to call me? Is everything okay?"
"Hey. Yeah, yeah, everythingā€™s fine. Am I disturbing you?"
"I just got out of surgery. I operated early this morning. Well, more like last night. Iā€™m about to grab some coffee. Are you sure everythingā€™s okay? You rarely call me."
I smiled despite myself. Iā€™ve always admired my mom for her work, even though it cost her a lot in terms of family life. It takes a lot of mental strength and confidence to perform surgeries. Sheā€™s a general surgeon. When Mapi needed surgery, she wasnā€™t the one to handle the case, but I know she made sure to be involved in every procedure for my sake.
"Iā€™m fine, really. I just wanted to call to apologize, thatā€™s all."
"Apologize?" she whispered. "For what?"
"For my behavior last time," I said plainly. "We left without me getting a chance to talk to you again. So yeah, Iā€™m sorry. My reaction wasnā€™t directed at you."
"Oh... You donā€™t need to apologize, Ona. I completely understand."
I smiled like an idiot. She really thinks Mapi didnā€™t tell me how worried she was. From what Iā€™ve heard, she was scared to death, yet here she is acting like nothing happened.
"No, itā€™s important. I need you to know my anger wasnā€™t directed at you," I said, smiling at my girlfriend, who finally turned around when she saw everything was fine.
"Alright... well, thank you for calling."
"I also wanted to let you know that weā€™ll definitely be attending your wedding, in case that wasnā€™t clear."
"Really?"
"Of course. We wouldnā€™t miss it."
"Will Lucy be coming?"
"Yes, thatā€™s who I meant by ā€˜we.ā€™ I hope thatā€™s not a problem?" I teased.
"Oh no, no. Weā€™d be delighted and honored!"
"Great... So, when is it again?"
"June 18th. I... Ona?"
"Yes?"
"I know itā€™s not the kind of thing you ask over the phone, and Iā€™d understand if you say no, but... Iā€™d like you to be my maid of honor, if you agree. You donā€™t have to answer right away, itā€™s just thatā€”"
"Mom," I interrupted. "Calm down. I..."
I took a deep breath. This was hard for me, but I was doing it to keep my promise to my dad. He wanted me to be there when it happened.
"I accept. No problem."
"Really...?"
The surprise in her voice was obvious. A small smile formed on my lips.
"Yeah, it seems so," I teased.
"You know, if youā€™re feeling obligated or anything..."
"Stop. I accept, thatā€™s it. Donā€™t make me change my mind."
"It really means a lot to me, Ona, truly."
"I figured."
"Iā€™ll make sure to pay for your dresses, for both you and Lucy. Weā€™ll pick them out together, so theyā€™ll match."
"Whoa, slow down," I laughed. "Weā€™ve got time."
"Can you come during your vacation? You know youā€™re always welcome at home, even though youā€™ve chosen to live with her in Manchester."
"I know, but we wonā€™t be around this vacation. Weā€™re visiting Grandpa and Lucyā€™s parents in Portugal."
"Really?" she asked, surprised. "Sheā€™s from Lisbon too? Youā€™re meeting her parents?"
"Sheā€™s from Porto. Weā€™re doing one week with Grandpa, then one week with her family. I still need to call him to see if he can host us."
"Oh, knowing him, he wonā€™t say no. Heā€™ll be thrilled to meet Lucy."
"Yeah, Iā€™m not worried about that."
"Donā€™t be afraid to meet Lucyā€™s parents either. Iā€™m sure itā€™ll go well."
"Weā€™ll see," I sighed. "I should hang up, weā€™re supposed to meet for brunch," I said as Lucy reappeared, tapping her wrist.
"Oh really?With who?"
"Weā€™re meeting our friends at eleven."
"Oh, well, I wonā€™t keep you then. Have a great day, and let me know when youā€™re coming back to Barcelona."
"No problem, Iā€™ll talk to Lucy, and weā€™ll keep in touch. Have a good day."
One last goodbye, and I hung up. Lucy immediately came over as I was putting away my makeup.
"Talk to me about what?"
I laughed, shaking my head. She looked so innocent, but I was sure she had listened to the whole conversation.
- Going back to Barcelona.
- Again? she groaned. Thatā€™s all we ever do!
- Oh, donā€™t complain. Weā€™ve only been there twice together. And I think I just agreed to be her maid of honor. I donā€™t know what came over me.
Lucy laughed and wrapped her arms around me from behind, kissing the top of my head.
- Well, Iā€™m proud of you. I assume everything went well?
- Yeah... she acted like everything was fine, as if nothing had happened. Thatā€™s a first.
- Well, thatā€™s good, then. And why do we have to go back to Barcelona?
- She wants us to choose our dresses with her... and be matching.
- Wonderful, she teased.
- Hey, I said, turning towards her. Donā€™t make fun of me! I wouldnā€™t mind matching with you.
- Thatā€™s not the problem. Itā€™s that Iā€™ll have to endure another shopping session with the mother-daughter duo.
- Well, I have to meet your parents for the first time in a few weeks, I laughed in return. We all have our challenges, babe.
- Thatā€™s true, she replied, giving me a playful smack as I walked out.
Iā€™d learned my lesson from last time, so I didnā€™t react to her playful gesture. Weā€™d moved past that, and she didnā€™t catch me off guard this time.
- Did you remember to bring your design ideas?
I froze mid-step and turned back around.
- What would I do without youā€¦ I mumbled, making Lucy laugh.
I headed back to our bedroom to grab them. She wanted me to bring my ideas since she hadnā€™t had a chance to look at them this morning. After grabbing them, I got dressed to go out, and we left to meet our friends downtown. Weā€™d noticed that the little Italian restaurant next to the gym offered brunch, so it didnā€™t take us long to decide to try it out today. The renovations were coming along great. We had time to finish up the locker room prep before the furniture arrived next week. Someone was coming to check if the plumbing was usable as it was. If so, Lucy said it would leave us with a little extra budget, though she wasnā€™t too hopeful. The place was pretty old and had been heavily used. When we arrived, I wasnā€™t surprised to see we were the first ones there. Lucyā€™s an early riser and hates being late. Iā€™ve been on the receiving end of that before, and once was enough for me.
- So, whenā€™s the wedding? You didnā€™t tell me the date.
- Oh, right. Uh, June eighteenth, I think.
- You *think*? she teased.
- Itā€™s definitely the eighteenth. Are you done now?
She laughed as I playfully hit her shoulder. Looks like sheā€™s in a teasing mood today.
- Oh, relax, Iā€™m kidding. Maybe we can go after your exams, yeah? Weā€™ll be on vacation, so we might as well enjoy it. Itā€™ll take your mind off waiting for your results.
- Really? But what if I have interviews? And what about the gym?
- Weā€™ll make sure you have a school and a gallery lined up before you leave Camp Wiegman.
- Easier said than done...
- Are you done complaining yet? I heard from behind. We can hear you from the other end of the restaurant.
- Oh, shut up! I snapped playfully at my best friend.
- Hey, cutie pie.
I smiled as I stood up to hug her. Iā€™d missed her. Itā€™s about time she moved here so we could properly catch up.
- Wow, itā€™s been a while since Iā€™ve heard that nickname.
- No kidding!
I greeted Ingrid as well. Mapi sat beside me at the head of the table, and Ingrid across from me after greeting my girlfriend too. Mapi and I exchanged goofy smiles. Looks like I wasnā€™t the only one who missed this connection.
- So, Miss "Iā€™m stressed about my exam," howā€™s it going?
- Iā€™m fine, I chuckled. Are you mocking me?
- Oh no, she laughed. Itā€™s just funny. You werenā€™t like this in high school, and I never imagined youā€™d turn into this.
- Well, people change, what can I say, I responded with a genuine smile.
- Whatā€™s new since Iā€™ve been gone?
- Not much.
- Really? she raised an eyebrow.
- Yeah, honestly, nothing major, I said, glancing at Lucy. Everythingā€™s going well. Iā€™m looking for a gallery, weā€™re working on the gym, and Iā€™m studying for my exam... thatā€™s about it.
- So, whatā€™s the update on that interview you had? The big gallery, she probed.
- Fields hasnā€™t changed their mind. I donā€™t think Iā€™ll accept, but for now, I havenā€™t heard back from the other galleries, so itā€™s tricky...
- Stop worrying.
- Iā€™m a month away from taking my exam and Iā€™m without a school. I have every reason to worry, I replied.
Lucy rolled her eyes. Itā€™s been a bit tense between us regarding this. She takes it so lightly that I wonder if sheā€™s hiding something from me again. Luckily, Alexia and Jenni arrived at that moment. We greeted them and ordered right after they settled in. We didnā€™t want to drag things out since we had a lot to do today.
Saturday, March 26th; 1:00 PM - Gym
It was just Ale, Mapi, and me in the break room, finishing up stripping the wallpaper. There was one wall left, and the goal was to have it ready for painting tomorrow. Our girlfriends were in the locker room since the others hadnā€™t shown up yet. The plumber finally arrived, and Lucy wanted to be there for the assessment. I didnā€™t mind. It was nice to hang out with my friends. The atmosphere was great, even while working.
- So, notice anything? Ale asked Mapi with a mischievous grin.
- Notice what?
I gave Alexia a wide-eyed look as she smiled slyly. She knew Mapi wasnā€™t up to date on the progress of my relationship with Lucy. I turned bright red as Ale motioned towards me with her head. Mapi, who was between us, stared at me.
- Well? What donā€™t I know yet?
Alexia burst out laughing. I didnā€™t find it funny. Thereā€™s no need to make a big deal out of every milestone in my relationship.
- Your best friend became a grown-up last weekend.
Mapi gasped and smacked my arm hard.
- Ouch! I exclaimed, rubbing my arm.
- And you didnā€™t even tell me!? When? How? You better tell me everything to make up for it!
Alexia was laughing hysterically. I couldnā€™t help but follow suit, despite myself. This was exactly why I didnā€™t want her to know. She always has to give me the third degree.
- You couldnā€™t help yourself, could you? I scolded Ale.
- Nope, I had to share! It was too memorable and funny to keep to myself. You shouldā€™ve seen her, covered in hickeys and grinning ear to ear the next morning, she told Mapi.
They both started laughing. Okay, maybe I was on a high at the time. Hearing how she described me now made me feel really embarrassed.
- So, how did it happen?
- It just... did.
"It just did"? Do you think thatā€™s a satisfying answer for me?
Stop. Seriously, it wasnā€™t planned at all. It just happened, thatā€™s all. And it was good. She was really great with me. That's it. You wonā€™t get more details. Ā 
I stuck my tongue out at her when she groaned.
"I canā€™t believe you hid this from me again!"
"Hid what?" Lucy asked, just walking into the room. Ā 
Oh no, thatā€™s all I needed. We all know how she reacts to Mapi in these situations.
"Oh, nothing. You just need to know how your girlfriend is so mute and stubborn," Mapi pouted.
"Hmmā€¦ I think sheā€™s improving. At least with me." Ā 
I smiled as Lucy wrapped her arms around me from behind, rocking me gently. I leaned into her embrace.
"Can you come with me? I need your help," she whispered in my ear.
"Really? Well, sure, if you want." Ā 
She let go, and I took her hand to follow her. It was the perfect time to be honest. Maybe Mapi would forget about this whole thingā€¦ though Iā€™m probably being too hopeful. Before we left, my girlfriend added:
"By the way, weā€™re thinking of going out to a bar tonight with the others. So, if you're not up for a night at The United, now's your chance to have a girlsā€™ night."
Her suggestion surprised me, but of course, my best friend jumped at it.
"Oh, thatā€™s a great idea!" Mapi exclaimed. "What do you think? Since Iā€™m already here."
"Yeah, why not," Ale agreed.
"Weā€™ll talk about it when I get back, to figure out whose place weā€™ll go to," I said.
The girls agreed before I left with Lucy. She led me to the main room.
"So, what about the guy? Did he give you a rundown of whatā€™s working and whatā€™s not?"
"Yeah. We could keep the plumbing, but he canā€™t guarantee itā€™ll last another three years, so instead of taking the risk and redoing everything later, weā€™re just going to replace it now."
"Ouch... Thatā€™s a shame."
Lucy shrugged and gave me a small smile.
"Itā€™s fine. We anticipated this. Heā€™ll give us a quote to see how much itā€™ll cost since weā€™re not doing it ourselves."
"That makes sense. Painting and demolishing is one thing, but this is more complicated."
"Exactly."
We reached the main room, where I noticed the guys had arrived, along with a woman I didnā€™t recognize. I slowed down when I saw that she was holding my sketches, the ones I had given to Lucy earlier in the day. She was tall, about Lucyā€™s height, with a normal build and heels. She was charismatic, with long, silky black hair and lightly made-up blue eyes. Lucy smiled at me, seeing my hesitation.
"Donā€™t be shy. Come on," she said, pulling me forward.
"Whatā€™s this about now?"
"Oh, here she is," Beth said when he saw me. "Hey Ona."
"Hey..." Ā 
I went around, greeting everyone, including the woman holding my drawings. I quickly returned to Lucy, who had opened her arms, letting me snuggle into her.
"Let me introduce you to Grace," Beth said. "She has an art degree, but she mainly works as a street artist. Sheā€™s the one who did the decoration at my paintball place."
"Wow," I said, remembering the place. "Well, congratulations. Youā€™re really talented. I loved what I saw."
"What she means is, she was completely blown away by it," my girlfriend embellished.
Grace laughed, shaking the papers in her hand.
"Thank you, Iā€™m flattered. I could say the same about you. Youā€™re very talented."
"Thank you," I replied, blushing.
I smiled shyly, sinking further into Lucyā€™s arms. I donā€™t handle compliments about my work well since Iā€™m not used to people looking at it. Lucy smiled at me, kissing my temple.
"I imagine youā€™re not here for no reason?"
"No, indeed," Grace smiled. "Beth and I recently reconnected, and heā€™s been talking about you and how hard youā€™ve been searching for a gallery. It just so happens that I recently opened one myself to start working more seriously after all these years."
I listened carefully. Noā€¦ Donā€™t tell me...? I glanced at Lucy, who was grinning mischievously. I couldnā€™t believe it! She surprised me again.
"It turns out I was supposed to collaborate with a friend who backed out at the last minute. The galleryā€™s already open, but Iā€™m not keen on hiring someone when Iā€™ve just launched it."
"You meanā€¦"
"Iā€™d like you to come work with me. As an apprentice, of course. Youā€™d cost me less, and based on what I have in my hands, youā€™re talented. Our styles are very different, but I think we could complement each other. Plus, with your management degree, youā€™d be a great help to me."
"Oh, Iā€™m not sure you should rely too much on that degree..."
She laughed heartily. I guess Iā€™ve said enough times that management isnā€™t my strong suit.
"Well, what I mean is that your rĆ©sumĆ© is interesting to me. So, if you're up for it, we could do a trial at my gallery to see if you like it. Of course, the condition is that you need to get your diploma firstā€¦ Although, to be honest, Iā€™d take you anyway, but your girlfriend here doesnā€™t seem too fond of that idea, from what she just told me."
I smiled broadly. I playfully hit Lucyā€™s chest, pushing her away slightly. She laughed.
"You hid everything from me again! Youā€™re unbelievable!"
"Hey, I didnā€™t know," she defended herself. "Beth just told me this morning that she was bringing someone for you today."
"Is that true?" I asked her.
"Yeah," Beth replied, amused.
"I hesitated a lot," Grace admitted. "I hope youā€™re ready to work because thereā€™s no shortage of it."
"Iā€™m not afraid of that."
"Good, then there wonā€™t be any problem," she said. "Lucy told me youā€™re going on vacation soon, but if youā€™re up for it, you could visit the gallery one weekend and do a trial run, like a day or two, to see if it works for both of us."
"Yeah, weā€™ll arrange that," Lucy agreed. "Maybe we could exchange contact info to stay in touch?"
"Sure," Grace said with a smile. "Iā€™ll handle the arrangements with your school. Iā€™ve got some former professors who might be able to help you secure a spot."
"Thank you so much. I really donā€™t know what to say."
"Oh, donā€™t thank me. Youā€™ll be just as helpful to me, so Iā€™m happy to help in return. I hope this will turn into something good for both of us. Who knows, maybe if the sales go well, Iā€™ll be glad to keep you on afterward."
I was thrilled and incredibly relieved. A huge weight was starting to lift off my shoulders. We exchanged contact information and promised to keep in touch. She left shortly after, and I kissed Lucy deeply without hesitation. I really hoped this would work out.
"Oh my God. I canā€™t believe itā€™s real. Thank you so much, Beth."
"No problem," she replied. "Iā€™m glad I could help. It wasnā€™t even planned. We just happened to reconnect, and I mentioned you. She immediately showed interest. From what I just saw, it looks like she likes you too."
"Same here. Sheā€™s really cool. Nothing like Fields, for example."
"Oh, definitely," Lucy agreed. "So, are you good now? Can you relax?"
I stuck my tongue out at her in response. She laughed heartily. Unlike me, she had never doubted, and honestly, it felt good. Even when I couldnā€™t believe in myself, she was always there to remind me that anything was possible. And today, I had proof. Iā€™d found a gallery. This was going to be the new driving force in my life. In our life. I no longer had to consider Fieldsā€™ offer, and I was so happy. I could finally turn it down with no regrets.
"I love you."
"I love you too. Now, should we get back to work?"
"Yep."
"Come with me. Letā€™s go over your sketches and see what we can come up with."
I smiled, following her to the back rooms. I couldnā€™t wait to start this project. Even though they were just small images without much cohesion yet, I was sure Lucyā€™s imagination would help bring them to life. And so, our day continued.
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rosinkreutz Ā· 15 hours
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How do you think Asuka's and Aria's friendship was like when she was alive?
This is a really hard question. I keep sitting down to write this and deleting everything because I'm not satisfied with the answer I can provide. The problem is me because I've realized I'm not sure how to describe any friendship, let alone one so vaguely developed in the source material... However. I will try. This is all kind of speculation based on what I've interpreted from the characters. - First, I think when you analyze Asuka's actions it seems that he feels a certain sense of ownership toward the world. Not in an entitled sense, but moreso a guardian. Which makes sense, really, as a disciple of the Original, savior of humanity. Especially considering the other disciples were explicitly uninterested in humanity's advancement, so he's the only one interesting in following in their teacher's footsteps. The problem is that he completely defines himself by it (which is kinda why I think Asuka was very young when he was taken in to be a disciple, because it's like it's all he knows). - So with that in mind, and knowing that before Aria met the other two, she was extremely isolated from her family and other people in general, I think the power dynamic in the relationship would end up being rather skewed. Literally, yes, since he's a sorcerer, but also psychologically. Aria's someone whose not used to having any support, and that's all Asuka wants to do. He never thinks of himself first, and the only sense of self he has is this self-appointed guardian role. He would go so far out of the way to make her happy, because he loves her very much. But he also thinks that he knows what's right for her and may have been controlling at times- which I think is why Frederick works so well in this dynamic because he's so anti-authority and free-thinking. His influence and just overall presence would keep the two of them from being too overly dependent on each other. After all, they love him as much as they love each other, as best friend, boyfriend, whatever. Obviously there's more to him in the dynamic but this is about the other two. - (As kind of a side-note, keeping Aria happy is one of the few ways he himself can feel fulfilled in his role as a guardian. The Original kind of had it easy, as world-saving goes, because he knew exactly what was going to burst (black tech) and had the exact solution to the problem (magic). The world Asuka's "inherited" has a million different facets and problems all piled together in one big powderkeg with an invisible fuse. He really can't just go out and fix everything alone as a socially inept 20-something, good at magic as he is. Which he understands, as an objective thinker, but given that guardianship is the only thing he defines himself with as a person, he's inevitably going to feel worthless and hate himself for not being able to do anything. Hence, why when the Gear Project gets picked up by the military, he goes crazy trying to fix it because just imagine what it would feel like that the whole world could be destroyed by something you made while trying to fix it.... But... If he could get what people need for advancement (gear cells) safe and unweaponized and if he could have someone else powerful to help and support him (Justice, maybe Sol?), he could use that to REALLY save the world AND Aria in the process. Win-win, right?)
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luna-rainbow Ā· 1 day
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Hi
Like your posts especially your Bucky posts. He is my precious cinnamon roll, and a character whose popularity makes sense.
Can you explain to me why T*ny Stark though is so popular? I just... cannot see the appeal of him. He's self-righteous, self-centred, reckless, irresponsible and very likely narcissistic.
Also, for all his fans go on about how "sacrificial" he is I do not see it. Or rather, its not actually that admirable to have to sacrifce yourself to solve the problems you created in the first place! That's just... being a decent human.
Now Cap, there's a guy. Resisting authortarinism and fighting for freedom all his life. T*ny though? He's like "yeah kill myself to kill he villain my father/me created". Nope. Not a hero.
Even in Endgame, he's selfish because he's not willing to even give his backing to the Time Heist if it might negatively impact him/his family.
Why do people see him as such again?
Thanks for the ask!
I think most people like characters for a few reasons: a) they think they are their blorbo, b) they want to be like their blorbo, and c) they want to have sex with their blorbo.
Tony, especially with RDJ's portrayal, is exactly the kind of guy that appeals to the intended audience of the comics-loving (mostly male) fanbase: who identify with Tony's "intellectual and pragmatic" over sentimental (ala Pepper) or moralistic (ala Steve), and who wishes they could be the playboy billionaire who has all the sex and buys all the toys and shrugs off all the accountability. Tony is 40 but RDJ plays him like he's 14, he's misogynist and self-centered, cocky and reckless, who won't listen to anyone else's advice because he genuinely believes he knows better until real life proves him wrong (...so many socialised males are like this...)
To be honest, on the one hand, I can see why Tony appeals to the audience. He's at once a a reassurance and a fantasy. If you take away his billionaire status, he's an extremely flawed (all the ones you've listed and more) middle-aged guy who struggles to maintain human relations and makes frequent mistakes but does strive, at least in the earlier movies, to try and do the right thing. I think a lot of people relate to that, because most of us are lonely and messed up and likely misunderstood to some degree. But he's also very much a power fantasy -- he's swimming in money (if you forget where it comes from), surrounded by fawning hot women, he has fast cars and a man cave to tinker with his hobby while his girlfriend/secretary does the real work of running the company. He then gets the ideal redemption story where he proves all the accusations of immorality wrong by doing A Good Deed, and all the fame and glory that comes with it. Yeah, some fans like to lean into how he's still ""misunderstood", but his critics in universe are the minority, and his new hero status has enabled him greater access to what is essentially political power and intelligence networks.
To me, Tony's appeal lies in his struggles and the redemption. He is a morally grey character just learning to look beyond his own needs and still occasionally relapsing into self-centered recklessness. His story was never one about sacrifice - because as you say, doing the bare minimum of fixing your own mistakes isn't sacrifice, it's being a grown up.
And I ignore Endgame XD
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suddencolds Ā· 2 months
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers šŸ‘ they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses šŸ˜­ i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... šŸ˜­#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true šŸ˜­ anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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batsplat Ā· 27 days
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@matchvedev I'll find actual presser clips at some point, but here's jorge bringing up race bans at le mans 2013 (race after jerez)
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and more mention of it after aragon 2013 (where marc caused dani to crash)
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and in the context of assen 2015 (obviously not one of the instances where jorge brought it up, but still narratively kinda fun so I'm including it)
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and for old time's sake, jorge did bring it up again after argentina 2018
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hollytree33 Ā· 4 months
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Iā€™m back!!
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chipistrate Ā· 11 months
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Thinking about the therapy tapes and specifically how fucked over Vanessa was with her parents-
Forced to lie about her mom in court which ended in her death and got stuck with her shit ass dad, and when she escaped her dad she ended up stuck with a virus mimicking a manipulative serial killer with a similar name and personality as her dad- like she just can NOT get a break,,,,
Makes me wonder if that had an effect on how she cares for Gregory after PQ ending- like she wants to be a good guardian/sibling to him and make sure nothing that happened to xem ever happens to him. He's already going through enough and xey want to help and be the support for him that she never got, but she's just never sure what to say or do.
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bunn-iiii Ā· 2 months
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just learning there may be a chance I have dyslexia and just never knew
#growing up i had all of the dyslexia problens in the way of writing and spelling#(and a bit in pronunciation of words)#with pronunciation i would switch up the sounds in my head for example for remote i would end up saying merote#and when i was writing i would often randomly capitalize letters that way i could see them better (most D and B)#or i would capitalize ALL of the letters#i remember crying in kindergarten because i could only write my name in all capitals#i also remember my dad screaming at me because i wouldn't write in lowercase when i was supposed to#(he made me write out all of the lowercasr letter then write them in uppercase)#i still struggle with this a lot i even do it when I'm typing but it's most prevalent when I'm hand writing notes for school#i also have a hard time spelling things even if i know the word REALLY WELL it can be a word i write or type every day and i can still#stuggle with spelling it#but the thing is i never had any problems with reading things in my head (not out loud though that was hard)#in fact i had a 12th grade reading level when i was in 5th grade#which is why i never thought i was dyslexic since i had a friend who was dyslexic and had a very hard time reading#and many educators and people when they think of dyslexia they think or just not being good at reading#when that's not really the case#and now i do struggle with reading books#i often stare at book pages reading the same sentence over and over trying to comprehend it#i even do that with fan fic#and it's annoying#the only reason i read fan fic more is because it grabs my attention and it seems more worth it to struggle through than a boring book for#school that was written 100 years ago :/#anyways yeah. crazy shit abt me.#imagine if i have autism and ADHD and dylexia and dyscalculia#also i juat mixed up all of those fucking letters in adhd
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moe-broey Ā· 10 months
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GIRL......................... suspension of disbelief I know but.
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Obviously you can pick out a BUNCH of the dragons as that Is an ongoing trope (dragons aging differently than humans, so they can look younger than they "actually are") (also while I did try to avoid including them to make them more comparable to Nino, I think Flayn can fit in either category for the purposes of The Context -- esp cause her dragon blood is meant to be secret)
Not only do we have Heroes skewing younger (a lot fitting into another trope of What If There Was A Baby Sister) we also have Baby Banner. Where the whole point is they are baby.
LIKE....... maybe I'm speaking way too soon and maybe the whole point IS this will backfire LMFAO, but it IS absurd to be presented with her art (which, def still looks youthful!) and having her say yeah I can pass as a kidnapped child. Which COULD be true! But also what do you mean no one is going to know you're a part of the Heroes. Why is no one fighting her on this. Not even including the dragons there are like a handful of Heroes who fit into her exact vibe. Some even MORE baby than her.
#fire emblem#feh#and that's not even factoring in charas like nyx (who's whole thing is she 'looks younger' than she is)#which. tbh. i personally never saw even in fates. like. that's just a short small woman. they do exist.#and adding to that are the other charas who read as short small women to me like celine (before i knew her in-game age is 17)#and eitri#and also youthful charas who are treated as younger yes but also as full fledged adults in their own right. like lissa#(treatment mostly comes from chrom tbh which is understandable LMFAO)#OH and that's not even looking at all the second gen/child units from awakening/fates/other games that include that#which i think is just genealogy and thracia??? i'm not familiar enough w those titles though#also like. in general. a lot of fe charas who have official ages are teens. nino is 15. i think ike was like 16 in por????#which like! still a kid! but also! idk even what the difference is. is it just that ones a sweet looking girl#and the other is a boy who was trained to kill for as long as he's been alive (very lovingly by the rare good dad in fe)#i mean. i guess that makes a difference.#OH MAN I COULD HAVE INCLUDED LYSITHEA INSTEAD OF FLAYN. ALSO fits the bill perfectly#VERONICA WAS 13 WHEN WE MET HER AND SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN CONSIDERED TO BE A CATEGORY 10 THREAT#SORRY i'm nitpicking like crazy LMFAOOOO but like. the people of askr should not be fazed by anything anymore.#and you would think whoever is causing problems like bandits or what have you. you'd think they'd adapt.#SANAKI. ALSO. WHO IS WHY WE KNOW VERONICA'S AGE ROUGHLY IN THE FIRST PLACEā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļø#okay i swear i'm done now. good by forevwr šŸ‘#fe nino
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starpros-sunshine Ā· 1 year
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To be honest I never really understood the "Eichi started the war because he liked Wataru and couldn't be normal about it" thing because like??????????????? What's the war going to do about that?????? What is Eichi getting out of antagonising Wataru and his only friends to the public and almost working himself into an early grave???? How would Eichis relationship with Wataru benefit from holding public executions for half of the eccentrics and turning them into scapegoats and actively declaring his unit as an "enemy" of theirs???? In what world would that be a successful courting ritual I mean I understand Eichi can be extra and Wataru is the definition of the word but genuinely how does that entire train of thought make sense???? Eichi is a lot of things but he's not stupid. The man has the common sense to not do All Of That just for the sake of getting closer to one individual in a way that would never ever work on anyone with some semblance of common sense. The Tomoya Sanctuary incident happened because Eichi was jealous and couldn't be normal aboout it.
And not even to mention how, if the aforementioned was the case, that would also never have worked with Wataru because the reason Wataru was so in on his role was because he knew it was serving a greater purpose. He's not the type to go along with a plan like that simply to satisfy some other guys strange ways of showing his admiration via turning the object of his affections and aforementioneds friends into social outcasts. He's not the type. And neither is Eichi.
That entire train of thought would make absolutely no sense if taken beyond the "haha funny joke" stage
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medicinemane Ā· 5 months
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And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"
I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse
And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa
And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house
I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished
...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)
And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff
There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government
No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)
Like have some accountability there and in every situation
Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free
If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off
I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)
But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced
Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around
I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)
...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change
(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)
(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)
#anyway; if I'm a lousy cheat or whatever least they can do is give me a gun so I can solve that problem#shit makes me wish I was canadian so I could take advantage of their sick implementation of assisted suicide#what should be a system that gives people a choice about the quality of their life; and I don't think should be relegated to terminal illne#...there was... think he was dutch; had been burned by his girlfriend all over his body; was in constant pain#and he ended up using assisted suicide in the end cause he was just in constant agony... think that's his choice to make#but of course the canadian system concretely pushes people; mostly the poor and disabled; to kill themselves#not theoretically; as in literally says word for word to them 'you should really kill yourself; just sign here'#it's sick; it truly is#but for any americans that want to dunk on it; I'm telling you we're no better#we have the exact same miserable desperation and people (again; mostly poor and disabled) into despair#only difference is we don't offer assisted suicide#the underlying issues in the US and canada are so damn similar; so much of what's happening ends up being the same#you can't act smug just cause you only make people want to die instead of also offering to help#that's like saying that you're the good guy cause while you did everything you could to drive someone to the brink#get them fired; slash their tires; just cartoon level villain stuff to personally harass this person... at least you won't hand them rope#we have such similar systemic issues to canada; and I am explicitly telling you that like the people in canada that have said#'I can't take it anymore; disability doesn't cover my expenses and I can't get any help... I'm at my wits end so I'm gonna go die'#I'm telling you that I feel that same way; just without any eugenics agency I can call up#I'm really working to get things stable; but it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of falling into permanent failure#and... and I'll actually tell you the amount even though I don't like to mention money... makes me feel guilty#my gramps left me $27k; which sounds like a lot; but I got 20 windows that need redoing (house has a lot of windows)#...if they ended up being 1k each; that's most of the money gone; if they end up being more...#and I got a whole lotta other stuff I've been putting off like plumbing around here; need to replace that faucet#it's an amount of money that helps; but it's an amount of money that isn't gonna last#...that's like a year of bills; and my mom already needs me to pay like $400 to the propane bill since she got behind#I want to use it to... to try and really get my feet on the ground; but it might loose me my insurance... it makes me want to die#and not to be a selfish bastard; but if I could I'd like to try and take and invest a bit to maybe build some passive income#given that... that a job never seems to work out for me cause I fucking suck and cause like... my insomnia has me up at 5:30 am right now#mm tag so i can find things later
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featherymainffins Ā· 5 months
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Sometimes I think I must be a weird author because everyone keeps making "haha writing the middle part of the story is so hard haha the start and the ending are so easy baba" jokes but I never know how a story will end.
I start and then I write the middle, and then a logical conclusion happens.
#idk it's just so weird to me.#like how would i know how it ends when i don't know what these characters go through. i sometimes have like 10 vague ideas#for how it could potentially end but i never know and i never write the ending before the rest#maybe it's because when i write I'm usually sorting something out through it? so logically I can't know the ending because#I don't know the answer to my problems. im trying to find that. sometimes I don't find it#my first 'book' was written when i was just 8 so obviously it sucked and it was too simple but I'm using it as an example because#back then i struggled with abusive parents and peers who sexually harassed each other and the environment was full of bullying#to the point of some kids bashing another kid's head in#and the book reflected that. i felt confused and didn't understand. it was like my father was two different people#and all the adults encouraged that line of thinking. they kept saying that my father is a good person who loves me and that#only bad people do bad things. that family is always good. i liked my friends. i had good memories of times with them.#they were also cruel children who would relentlessly harass and bully anyone who was poorer than them or uglier or smarter or#who simply didn't agree with them. everyone seemed to want me to view people as either good or bad.#i was trying to think about it in the book. and you know I arrived at the conclusion that there are no such things at all#i realised that people are just people. that unfortunately the father who was nice to me was the same one who beat my mother and#yelled slurs at us. the people who were mean to me and others and who spread lies and convinced boys to beat people up for them#were also the people who were my friends. i found that everyone was capable of everything and that it's all just socialisation#the book ended in a way that reflected this.#this is the way i write most of my longer stuff. there is a question. there is a problem. i try to find an answer to it#sometimes there isn't an answer. sometimes there is. but the course of the story will reflect it either way
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