#sucks bc a lot of people in a similar circle interact with them and like

[arabaka]

eugh. my post found someone i rly don't like

[thx-sunsxts-addrxss]

hey, i've barely interacted with you but i think this is appropriate for me to say bc i just saw what happened- i hope you're ok, i hope you know you've got people who truly care for you (i mean just look at your lovely moots! reading their notes made me tear up man) and i hope you take time to heal. you will heal.

however. as someone older than you with more experience ig (i hope this doesn't sound presumptuous/rude) i feel like i should tell you a couple of things, what with the appalling hate you've been getting. first off- please be mindful of what you post on here. or any social media. i know you've got your friend circle on tumblr and you guys have your interactions, but please think twice before you post super private info. especially your age, home situation, personal stuff like that. i think it's one of the main things that makes it easier for hateful anons to send target people and shit.

second, i know it's tempting to cuss out angrily at those stupid anons, but just. don't. take a breath, delete the ask. you responding just aggravates them more, your friends get pissed, and continue the vicious cycle. responding with edgy comments and pointing out their grammar flaws- it's not helping any of you, it's not throwing anon off either. it's encouraging them and spreading negativity to everyone.

maybe this seems like it's very easy for me to say. after all, what do i know what you've been through? i'm not gonna act like i understand what you've faced. but i've faced similar shit. i may not know how you feel right now, but know what all this feels like, loife. it sucks. but posting about hate anon(s?) again and again will just make things worse. please, for your own well-being at least, and your friends, don't pay attention to anon. disable it if you feel like you should do that. clear out anon-related stuff completely. act like they don't exist, because that's the only way they'll fucking stop. your friends are amazing for standing up for you, but them attacking anon is just fueling their bullshit. also, it might not be my place to say this, but take some time off tumblr if you feel you must. take a breather. you don't have to post everything about your personal life, it brings more harm than good.

anyway i'm sorry i sent a whole-ass essay after what happened to you. we might not be friends, but please just know that there are people who love you, and i'm sure there's people in your irl circle who care for you too. eat lots of ice cream, watch something that makes you happy, vibe to some nice music, go out and feel the breeze in your hair, kick a ball, take pictures of things you love. sending lots of hugs. feel better, loife :)

noting all of this down! thanks

[admirableadmiranda]

hiii sangsang! how are you? 💜💞 as a newbie to mdzs, my fandom experience has been so stressful considering the amount of toxic (not even productive) debate, fanon as canon and hate on the main couple esp LWJ. I'm trying to embody the whole ship butet ship, but it's irritating seeing the way people bring down LWJ. I think I'm gonna step back altogether, but I was wondering if you have any tips? I always end up sucked back in bc of fanart or a random fic. I don't know what to do

Hello anon! I am not doing my best today I’ll admit, I’m up about three hours later than I should be, but when I saw your ask arrive I couldn’t wait till morning to answer you.

I’m sorry your time in Modaozushi has been difficult. Unfortunately it’s a difficult fandom to be in for the reasons you name. Nonsense runs rampant and it’s hard to enjoy yourself when it feels like everywhere you turn you’re being bombarded with more of it. If you choose to leave and just enjoy the book as is, I won’t blame you.

But if you are wanting to try and stick it out, here are some tips I can offer.

A: Whenever you run into a take you hate, block the person immediately. If someone keeps reblogging it onto your dashboard, unfollow them. This is a pretty big active fandom, you don’t need all of that showing up constantly. The more people you have blocked, the easier it gets to manage. You can do a similar thing with Ao3. If I’m searching through posted fics (which is rare, but it happens), I have a bunch of tags I immediately filter out. I don’t need to see that and while not everything is tagged, having the most common fanon ones dealt with helps a lot.

B: I don’t go into the main tags. I have found my people I trust with good takes and two art blogs that don’t post so much fanon I can’t scroll past it with a weary smile and that’s enough. I don’t need to be in the center, I can be here in the corner with my anons and my bunnies and we’ll all have a good time.

C: if you’re wanting help finding more good fics in canon style, try @pocketfulofrecs the runners have been a little busy lately, but they have excellent taste and checking out the authors from their featured authors will definitely give you plenty of good fics to enjoy. In addition most of the people I reblog and rec are a wonderful beacon of sanity in this fandom, so if you want some warmer takes based off of MDZS, I highly recommend @rynne and @glitteringmoonlight or for amusing salt, excellent metas and fun things to know, @jiangwanyinscatmom (don’t be fooled by the username she’s a delight to know and the one good JC fan I’ve found in this fandom) @vrishchikawrites @whiteflowercrimsonparasol / @justdoityoufucker @karmiya / @fannish-karmiya @fondofeveryprickle @righteousinadversity and many others who are not coming to mind at this late hour, but you’ll see me interact with them regularly. While we don’t always agree on everything, we all respect and understand each other’s opinions and I am very happy to know them.

I hope this helps anon. And remember while this fandom may seem overwhelmed with bad takes, it is vast. There are many, many people in it. And I’m sure you can find your own little circle to have fun in.

And you are always welcome to stop by again! My inbox is always open.

[cadykeus-clay]

Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was. 

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad. 

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments). 

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally. 

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120)  if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance. 

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type. 

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't. 

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and  and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold.  but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

[rantheon]

hypmic: thoughts

as of 25/3/2020 (i have not updated this since then but my feelings are roughly still the same)

might as well get this out of the way since matenrou’s album is out. half to prepare for the 2nd drb, half to organize my thoughts from 1.5 years in the making

that said, i talk about everything that comes to mind so this is just gonna be a dump of random thoughts :>

no it’s really long

aight so

the main part of hypmic is the music, which is pretty good, all things considering. each division has their own style of music, and each character, their style of rapping. this makes for some really fun and sick combos during the rap battles

i’m really floored by the seiyuus, they’re really trying hard and doing a great job

it’s also really nice that they bring in different composers? and no two songs sound too much alike or similar? it’s just a lot of effort put into the music and i’m all for it

hoodstar is my fav all-stars song. it’s so funky and fun? i could listen to it forever

ngl survival of the illest is a close second. i was not expecting to like it so much

plot… exists. that’s really all i can say about it-

listen. i’ll give them A for effort. i appreciate what they’re trying to do, continuing a linear storyline through the drama tracks and revealing bits of backstory in the manga. TDD era was lit af and the whole chuuoku endgoal + all the character interactions and revelations is pretty interesting

it’s just… predictable? like, very predictable? so much that it gets boring and old really quick? at least throw us a curveball, kr

there’s also the issue about how canon stuff are in exclusive (limited) drama tracks that can be difficult to get but that’s just Marketing so whatever, let’s move on

maybe they’ll drop some extra lore in the arb game, we’ll see

oh right, alternate rap battle

pretty cool game i guess? i was really only interested to try out the rhythm game, which i did, and it kinda... sucks. or well, it’s not bad but it’s not a contender against games like cytus, lanota, voez, etc. the beatmap’s a bit off and weird? i’ll just SS each song before i quit ahaha

but if you’re interested in more hypmic boys.png & a more casual rhythm game then go for it

here’s a (kind of) hot take: there’s so much content released that it all feels. saturated

i do love and appreciate the new content! but it’s just... a lot

i mean, you got new albums, manga, hypmic radio, stage plays, the arb game, the anime that’s supposedly out this year- and all of this within the span of about a year? it kinda feels like they’re riding on the popularity to just. try everything

good for them though, more Marketing strategies

mad respect to anyone who managed to stay sane for the past 6 months

i mean it’s not necessary to keep up with everything but with how active the fandom is, it can feel pressuring. especially when everyone’s screaming or yelling about angst or whatever

on that note, hot take #2: the fandom is intense. but not so much in a bad bad? it really depends which circle you step into and most of the ones i’ve seen have people that are super kind and lovely!

but it’s mainly intense and loud, it’s a slight tinge of entitlement going around in some circles, most if not all are very vocal about crying and everyone’s just screaming

but hey, the amount (and quality) of fanart and translation content etc is amazing & i always give my appreciation and love to them

with that stuff out of the way, hmm i’ll just ramble about something

like divisions

buster bros!!! is cute. good bro vibes. it’s also really lovely to read about how jiro and saburo didn’t like ichiro in the beginning, and now they’re willing to do anything for him? good stuff. they also have really good songs and i have equal love for all of them, but ‘ore ga ichiro’ remains forever undefeated with ‘requiem’ right behind. saburo’s probably my fav bc i can’t say no to smartass lil shits :’D

i will give my everything to mad trigger crew. the angry yakuza sison, the megane cop in leather and the military dork who loves to cook can have my soul right now. they fit my ideal types so well :’D not a big fan of their songs except ‘dead pools’ but i love listening to them on the drama tracks

hard to describe into words how i feel about fling posse. i love them very much, their character tropes are up my alley (i have a soft spot for gremlins, liars and gamblers) and nothing can ever top stella. but it’s kinda difficult to root for them? kinda? they’re the mystery division, you know? tied together with secrets and hidden pasts. even when i first got into hypmic, i wondered how they even got together lol. they do have cute moments though! and i’m eagerly waiting for them to open up to each other.

...ramuda ;;;;;

matenrou was my first. i got into hypmic bc of division battle anthem and the group with a gray wolf as their insignia. despite everything, they’re so… chill. jakurai has such a calming voice, doppo and hifumi yelling in the background of songs is so iconic, and they just want to have a good time. being giddy over assassin jakurai is just a perk, i swear-

dotsuitare hompo has nice songs. osaka dreamin’ night was catchy and tragic transistor was buckets of fun. but as a group, i don’t really… feel anything for them. they give me vibes of a plot device to progress the story along (sasara for samatoki, rei for BB/chuuoku) and there’s not much for me to get attached to. maybe in time! roshio having stage fright is really endearing, and sasara has the prettiest fanart ngl

i love bad ass temple!! if i wasn’t already into hypmic, this is the division that would make me dive in. i love love funky sounds, i’m really into their solos, and their dynamic? the “tired exasperated uncle taking care of two brats” vibes? kukou’s fangs? jyushi’s extra-ness? hitoya’s weird outfit? their entire drama track?? amanda?? i just love them

these next ones probably doesn’t count lol but i’ll say it anyway: i love the dirty dawg. ‘TDD legend’ remains to be one of my my go-to comfort songs. the drama between the four is both funny and sad, though it makes sense why they split up. at least they have their own groups now

not really into mad comic dialogue but i think they’re neat! they have nice fanart too

everyone hates chuuoku for ruining lives and that’s valid but. i want to know more about them? they’re obviously the Big Bad but seeing things from their perspective would be really interesting. and i’m genuinely curious about how chuuoku works: the inner workings of the district, how they handle giving out permits, the standard of living beyond the wall & for the women who chose not to, the clone factory

putting aside the music and plot, hypmic has the weirdest merch?? in what other fandom can you get a hypmic-themed bathtub, toothbrush, underwear, face masks and hotel rooms?

✧:･ﾟ*~ only in hypmic ~*:･ﾟ✧

[loganscanons]

Jacques & Ursula + Their Relationship and History

Important Side Characters:

Johannes Wendler: Born into a vampire family similar to the Caligos in the 600s. He’s estranged from the family in the 900s. Goes by several different names, but Jacques knows him as Johannes Wendler.

Ruprecht Von Dressler: Born in the 1460s to a wealthy and powerful family in what is now Germany. He’s obsessed with the occult and supernatural. In 1489, he meets Johannes, who initially intends to just toy with Ruprecht. They end up falling in love and Johannes decides to turn him. Ruprecht turns both Ursula and Jacques.

Laura Wood: Jacques’ wife. They marry in 1825. In 1837, Laura is murdered, and Jacques goes on a killing spree before spending the next 16 years being an outlaw.

Jacques & Ursula’s Relationship

They don’t like each other, but they do have that special bond created when two people plan and carry out a man’s death together.

Jacques thinks Ursula is stuck-up, self-centered, and a bitch. She also thinks she’s gorgeous but that’s beside the point. She does respect Ursula, but a lot of that has to do with the fact that Jacques was a servant for the de Bourbon family and less to do with whether Ursula is actually deserving of her respect.

Ursula thinks Jacques is poor and beneath her and not even that pretty, so why did Ruprecht even take interest in her in the first place? Ursula gets more tolerant toward gay people, but she’s still personally offended anytime a gay man isn’t interested in her, and she really doesn’t get why Jacques is interested in women when men exist.

Jacques doesn’t get Ursula’s infatuation with men.

Though Ursula would sooner die than admit this, she does respect Jacques. She’s impressed by what Jacques has accomplished, especially because she’s a servant girl.

Ursula will disparage Jacques and say negative things about her but if anyone says something negative about Jacques to her, she starts feeling little murderous toward that person. It doesn’t usually result in actual murder, but that person is definitely on her bad side.

Jacques doesn’t say negative things about Ursula generally but if someone says something negative about Ursula, she’s usually like “You’re not wrong”

They’re each other’s only connections to their pre-vampire life, and that keeps them on good terms. They tolerate each other and know that the other person would probably (albeit reluctantly) be there for them.

Their history below the cut b/c it’s v long

Becoming Vampires

In the 1520s, Ruprecht suggests to Johannes that they build their own vampire family comparable to Johannes’s original family. Johannes is like “but they suck and also u can’t have kids” and Ruprecht is like “I don’t want kids. We’ll just turn them ourselves and have an army of vampire allies” and Johannes is like “ok bet”

Ruprecht and Johannes turn a few people in the late 1520s and early 1530s, choosing to seduce and romance the people before turning them in an attempt to ensure loyalty and affection from the new vampires.

In 1537, Ruprecht sees Jacques (19) for the first time and is like “I want her.” Jacques has no desire to get involved in the life of a nobleman and ignores him as politely as possible. He can’t get near her bc Jacques’s mother is convinced Ruprecht is a life-draining demon and makes her do a bunch of things to ward him off.

Since he was born a vampire and not turned, Johannes is not as affected by the wards and starts courting her in 1538. Over the next several months, Johannes convinces Jacques to stop taking her mother’s wards so seriously. He presents himself as a servant, and though she’s not actually interested in romance (she’s actually just not interested in men, but she doesn’t realize that yet), she figures getting married is in her best interest and doesn’t resist his advances.

Jacques is a servant for Ursula’s family. While Johannes is busy trying to get Jacques to let her guard down, Ruprecht turns his sight on Ursula (24, almost 25).

Ruprecht starts courting Ursula and a few months later, starts feeding off of her. She believes she’s dying. She laments that her and Ruprecht’s love affair is being cut short by her impending death. Ruprecht reveals that he’s a vampire and offers to turn her so they can be together ~forever~.

At this point, Ruprecht and Johannes have turned several people, and Ruprecht is confident in himself and their little harem. He doesn’t tell Ursula about his other lovers before turning her because stupidly, he’s not concerned about the possible consequences of turning a lovesick, entitled, rich girl.

A couple weeks after turning Ursula, Ruprecht turns Jacques.

Johannes is more careful than Ruprecht and suggests easing Ursula into the idea of being part of a vampire harem. If it had been up to him, they wouldn’t have turned Ursula at all. She’s too volatile.

When Jacques wakes up as a vampire, she’s furious, betrayed, and hurt. She’d always had a lot of internal anger and frustration, but Johannes and Ruprecht didn’t realize that. From the moment she wakes up, she starts planning her revenge. She lets Johannes and Ruprecht introduce her to the harem and pretends like she’s content to be there.

She realizes that Ursula, who supposedly died a couple weeks ago, was likely turned into a vampire too. She finds Ursula hidden in a house that Ruprecht owns, where he’s keeping her until Johannes is confident that Ursula won’t snap if they tell her the truth about the harem. Jacques never interacted with Ursula much, but she knew from other servants what Ursula was like. She tells her the truth about Ruprecht and Johannes and convinces Ursula that she’s on her side.

Ursula is pissed for many reasons. She wants to be the only object of Ruprecht’s affections. She’s also classist and homophobic, so she’s extra pissed that Ruprecht took interest in Jacques, a poor servant girl, and is in love with Johannes, a man.

Jacques and Ursula team up to kill Ruprecht and Johannes. They have to kill a few of the other vampires in the harem who try to protect them, but neither of them are broken up about that. Ursula kills Ruprecht in a very brutal and messy way, making sure he feels plenty of pain before he dies.

Johannes escapes before they’re able to kill him. They spend a few weeks trying to track him down, but they lose his trail and decide to part ways.

Wandering Years

Ursula and Jacques both spend a few centuries wandering. Ursula moves around France, and eventually around other areas in Europe, marrying men whom she inevitably kills.

Jacques searches for a cure to vampirism while also trying to track down Johannes. In the early 1770s, Jacques finds a witch that grants her the ability to survive in sunlight. Shortly after that, she moves to the New England area of the U.S.

Around the same time, Ursula decides to move to the U.S. She’s suspected of murdering her past three husbands and decides it’s best to leave Europe for a while.

Ursula marries a man in Massachusetts. This is the first time since the 16th century that Ursula and Jacques are in the same area. They have a few meetings, but they mostly run in different circles and don’t see much of each other. Jacques is presenting as a man, which Ursula thinks is weird.  

Jacques finds out that Ursula has been trying to track down Johannes for as long as Jacques has. Ursula doesn’t hate Johannes the way that Jacques does, but she sees him being alive as their job being unfinished.

Jacques falls in love with a woman named Catherine Williams. When Ursula finds out about this, she’s like “uhh Jacques you know you’re not actually a man, right? How’s this going to work?” and Jacques, in denial about being gay is like, “I’m just playing the part of a man!” but she’s also like “oh fuck this won’t work out what will happen when Catherine finds out I’m a woman” so she dips

Moves westward over the next few decades, living in different towns east of the Mississippi, usually pretending to be a man. Eventually ends up in a small-town west of the Mississippi in 1824, where she meets Laura Wood.

Falls hard for Laura (which she again attributes to just playing the part of a man) and indulges in Laura’s affections. She tries not to let Laura get too close, but she’s super in love with Laura and isn’t good at keeping her distance, especially bc Laura is also in love with her.

Laura finds out that Jacques is a woman. Jacques is fully prepared to flee but to her surprise, her being a woman changes nothing for Laura. They get married in November of 1825.

A few years after they get married, Laura finds out Jacques is a vampire. She’s not bothered by it because Jacques generally doesn’t kill people, just drains as much as she needs to get by.

For the first time ever, Jacques is happy.

Unbeknownst to Jacques, Johannes has been tracking her and Ursula, mostly to ensure he stays out of their way, but also because he loved Ruprecht and wants revenge for his death. Seeing Jacques happy and in love with Laura infuriates him. He disguises himself and heads to the town where Jacques lives. He spreads some rumors about Jacques and Laura, including revealing that Jacques is a woman. In 1837, his rumors result in the murder of Laura and the attempted murder of Jacques.

Jacques goes on a killing spree and kills everyone who was even remotely responsible for Laura’s death. She’s unaware that Johannes had anything to do with it.

She isolates herself for several months, grieving Laura’s death. One day, a group of wealthy travelers get a little too close to her hiding spot and she takes out her anger and grief on them, killing all of them.

The killing feels good, and she wants to do more as a way of coping with her anger and grief. This marks the beginning of her career as an outlaw, where she tracks down people growing wealthy off the gold rush and kills those she considers “guilty.” Her definition of guilty is pretty vague and she’s kinda insane during this time period.

In 1854, Jacques ends up in Forsaken Bluff. She meets Uriel and he helps her work through some of her grief.

Once she’s settled into Forsaken Bluff, Jacques stops disguising herself as a man as often.

20th Century

Other stuff related to Forsaken Bluff happens, but I haven’t decided on that yet so we’re just gonna skip all that.

Jacques helped found SBI, but she hates bureaucracy and is a jaded person in general. She’s not very happy working there and does it because she feels obligated to. Every few decades, she’ll take a decade off of work and isolates herself or obsessively looks for Johannes and/or a cure to vampirism.

In all this time, Ursula has been what she’s always been doing: getting married and then killing the men she marries. In the 1950s, she stops marrying the men she’s interested in. Her relationships get shorter and she kills significantly more men. She has a type and by the 1970s, she’s attracted the attention of the SBI for being a serial killer that goes after wealthy, high profile men.

Because of their weird bond, Jacques warns Ursula that the SBI is on her tail. Ursula flees to France while she waits for things to cool down.

Jacques has a lot of informants around the world, and in 1990, she gets reliable information on the recent whereabouts of Johannes. She finds Ursula in France and asks if she wants to help her track Johannes down once and for all. Ursula is more than willing.

In 1993, Jacques and Ursula find Johannes. Before Jacques kills him, she finds out that he was responsible for Laura’s death. This stirs up the old feelings of grief and anger that Jacques never got over, and she tortures him for weeks as retribution before she finally grants him some mercy and kills him.

Ursula is shocked by how cruel Jacques gets while enacting revenge. When she points that out to Jacques, Jacques is like “oh no I’m a terrible and cruel person I can’t believe I’ve let myself behave this way” blah blah self-flagellation. Ursula is less impressed after Jacques’s “woe is me I’m so awful” speech

After Johannes is dead, Jacques hermits again, isolating herself from everyone for about a decade. She’s grieving Laura again and also having a crisis about herself and how she’s a terrible person and how Laura would be so disappointed in her. It’s very emo and whiny

Ursula moves back to the U.S. in 1994

Jacques returns to work at the SBI in 2004. She’s working just to work at this point. The SBI regularly pisses her off, and she frequently goes against the orders of the SBI. It’s hard to fire her though because she’s been there longer than anyone else and she has a lot of power.

She also has an entire library of encoded information on most important supernatural creatures and many uninfluential creatures as well. She has a lot of information on most people she’s worked with at the SBI. People would rather not cross her

[carotriesstudy]

When you’re not doing well at uni and failing

okay, i know im not the best at keeping this blog bc its like not a physical thing so i forget i have it lol

but i wanted to just talk a little and vent bc of my life is pretty shit atm (the tips at the start are written post rant to actually give some advice instead of just venting)

Tip 1 - get out of bed

I know its hard, I could spend my life in bed and tbh I do. but I also know that while it feels like taking care of yourself to relax, I know it’ll make me more depressed. and it's super hard. I constantly tell myself to get up while lying there an entire day. but when you feel that little spur of energy or in my case annoyance lol use it. get up and get out. 

Tip 2 - get out of your room

this is similar to tip 1 but if you find yourself in lack of motivation or energy go somewhere. take a walk, or go study in a library or cafe. and this can be even harder. having to get dressed? maybe interact with people? are you kidding me? but the minute you get out and even when you interact with people it feels better. you aren't holed up in your depression or whatever might be bothering you. 

Tip 3 - it’s okay and it’s going to be better

right now it's shit. and it feels like its never going to get better. and that you're stuck in this rut forever. but things will turn even if you don't want them to. there can be a comfort and security in your depression bc it gives a reason to why it feels like its right. but you know what also feels like that? the good, and hopefully there will be more of those. 

Tip 4 - do as much as you can handle

it's easy to not do things. I haven't done anything all semester. and it sucks bc it's biting me in the ass now. and it's not like I don't have the time. I just don't have the energy. so when I have the energy I need to remember that reading 3 pages of assigned reading is still better than none. I go to class even if I'm not paying attention bc it gets me up and out but also it gives a good idea of what I need to focus on etc.

Tip 5 - its okay to “give up”

i dont like the phrase giving up that much bc it sounds like defeat. i am in a process of severly considering not starting again next semester bc of my mental health. its serious consideration. but its one i need to make and if i decide not to go, it doesnt mean i gave up, i just realised that my current situation iisnt good and that i need to change stuff before i can continue instead of wasting my time doing a shit job at an expensive uni. so, thats good. figuring out what works and what doesnt is only a positive thing

today im in a somewhat good mood despite learning i failed my stats exam (dw its not bad we have multiple so i can still pass)

but the thing is, i have been in a very bad place or a long time and it has really been affecting me and by extension also my education.

i feel apathetic towards everything, im uninterested, and the stress and obligatoin feel i used to really on to study isnt kicking in anymore due to the apathy

im constantly tired, i cant get out o bed in the morning and we have madatory attendance (which probably is good bc otherwise i wouldnt be going to class probably)

my concentration and attention is somewhere completely different atm and its been weeks like this (usually its a few days) and i cant control it very well and its making it hard for me to study and pay attention

im letting myself slip, my room is slipping, my health is slipping

while im trying to get better and be more social which is easier than studying bc usually its just me and this one friend getting high and watching stupid videoes which is nice bc its a break to feel happy and entertained but its also not good for me

back to school stuff since this is a study blog

im no doing good in any of my classes, i barely passed two exams, failed one and possibly one more

i have an exam on friday i need to study for, and one on monday. i neeed good grades in these to make up for the not so good marks i have received before

and while i know that taking care of your mental health is more important not feeling like doing academic work is bothering me a lot actually and its a hellish circle of poor mental health leads to poor academic performance which then leads to poor mental health

and while my apathy and alexithymia saves me from feeling sad or upset by my grades i know deep down i want to do well. i want to succeed. 

i cant keep not working, i need to put in work if i wanna improve. this isnt high school anymore

im doing some hard courses this semester and while i am usually interested in most of them i cant seem to care 

im doing better today mentally and i feel up for getting some stuff done so im going to exploit that but i also just want to sleep and wake up feeling actually awake for once

im also getting sick so thats fun

my parents are also making me see a therapist (i haven't started yet) and i think thats a good idea but i have a lot of anxiety about it lol hence why i need therapy 

im also going to talk to counsellor at school and see what she can help with as well

idk what id going to happen but im trying to finish my semester and get back into a good study rhythm. I anyone wants to throw some advice or encouragement my way id really appreciate it.

[evotter]

jan, march, sept + one of your choice, love. have a great day, u icon

thank u kyra i adore u

january: what was the first fic you posted this year?

the first fic i posted this year TECHNICALLY was the epilogue of a different path. the first standalone was chewbacca (aka my introduction to the jily world once again and i have such a soft spot for it)

march: do you listen to music whilst writing? 

yes! pretty much always; if it’s not music, it’s a TV show.

september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

quite literally anything you’ve left on any of my fics BUT there are a few that i hold dear to my heart. i’ll post them under the cut cause they are LONG :’)

ancient: the first fic you ever posted online?

hahahaaaaaaa. it was my own version of rick riordan’s the son of neptune before the actual book was published. it was on ff.net, and the first chapter got 7 reviews, and i felt so good about myself after that lmfao. who knew i’d still be writing 8 years later?

ask me questions!

OKAY so i have 3 top favorites:

from a different path:

okay so i had seen this in someone else’s bookmarks the other day, thought it was an interesting concept—especially since i too love slytherin!percy and strongly subscribe to ofswordsandpens’ headcanons about it—but didn’t give it another thought until i was listening to a video about the cursed child and went: wait, there’s a percabeth hogwarts au that i saw somewhere. and immediately i hunted this down and i’m just in awe? i tore through it. belatedly, i realized that i made a mistake: i didn’t write down my thoughts as i was reading, which is definitely a disservice to you. however, here are a generalized list of things that i loved.

first of all, with hogwarts au’s, there are three main aspects that i look for: plot, characterization, and quality of writing. normally, fics of this size lack one or more of these key factors, but i was astonished to find that the plot is tremendously tight and intriguing (my lip bled from biting it so much because i’ve been stressed to the max), you write these characters with such distinct voices i can easily picture them saying everything—except, of course, now in a little british accent—and your writing flows so well, it feels almost like i’m reading an actual harry potter book, just with percy and co. you also do a masterful job of weaving together aspects of the pjo universe with the established canon of hp.

and there are so many specific things that i love. primarily, the way you write the relationships in this story; not just concerning percabeth (though i will get to that in a minute), but also with each of the interactions between all of the characters. i applaud you for how you handled luke/annabeth and rachel/percy, and the friendship among them all is just incredibly well done. i especially love how well you wrote connor and zoë and just, a lot of characters that i don’t often think about when i think of pjo. grover and percy’s friendship especially is heartbreaking, i just. he’s so protective because he loves his friends and holy fuck i also love how you wrote grover in this. but i just adored how you wrote annabeth/percy—the love between them, both platonic in its early stages and the romantic all throughout, was doubly apparent. i ached when they kissed each other’s cheeks, and i inwardly cheered when she kissed him in the locker room. there was just such a natural progression, to me, of their relationship. and man did i dig it. i’m excited (and maybe a little scared) to see where you take their relationship in the future.

boy, this is getting long. sorry. but some more just little quick things: loved the b99 reference, with both of their competitive natures playing out in a similar way to jake and amy’s. i kind of want to go back and see if i can find any other references that i missed because i was just too engaged in the story to catch them. also, zoë’s death killed me all over again, thanks for that. i like how you’re working the kronos plot in, and i can’t wait to see how the Final Battle plays out. what else? oh! professor hestia? beautiful. eventual maybe professor percy? outstanding. percy kissing the top of annabeth’s head? breathtaking. rachel being a quidditch commentator? earth shattering. (truly i cackled when i saw that.) mrs. o’leary being a cat? incredible. how you incorporated percy’s water powers? stunning.

ooh, this exchange was beautiful and had me cackling it was so in-character:

“None of us are dying.” Connor clarifies. “Not you, not me, not Annie, not the rest of us.”

“I might have to dispute that.” Annabeth says, from Percy’s other side. “Call me ‘Annie’ one more time, Stoll, and I’ll kill you myself.”

Connor only grins at her. “Sorry, love. No more ‘Annie’. Can I call you Beth?”

“No.”

“Anna?”

“No.”

okay, so i just finished chapter nine and i am blown away. sorry for how long this comment was, but a fic of this magnitude truly warrants it. i can’t wait to see what happens next.

i leave you with just two words: “holy shit.”

from a different path: 

god, oh my god, am i the only dumb bitch who didn’t get what the prophecy was??

anyway, i stumbled on this fic last year, patiently waiting for its completion, and now that i’ve rediscovered it, i’m so glad i finished it all in one go! i couldn’t imagine the tension of waiting for the next chapter, especially since the tension is so well-crafted!! i hardly noticed the tonal shift even as the story got darker and darker as it led up to the war, and in that way i was reminded of how extremely similar it felt to reading the hp books for the first time! you nailed percy very well i might say, and the awkward-yet-caring relationship he has with his dad. i daresay you gave connor and zoe more characterization than rick riordan himself, and the percabeth you wrote is perfect to the nth degree. i appreciate that you didnt bother with all the love triangle and unrequited feelings nonsense as well.

but i have to say, even as i cried at sally and paul’s wedding, or at dionysus’ quiet mourning for castor, what really struck with me most was the way you handled silena. for that, i have no words. that was a job extremely well done. thank you so much for blessing us with this fic.

from chewbacca (a comment from u!): 

A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen. Her coat is dripping all over the floor he’d just cleaned (but it’s fine) and when he leans over the counter he sees that her boots match the coat.

First of all!!! Thats the best opening line in the world and nobody can convince me otherwise. I want to become a publisher just so that if you ever write a book, I’d be able to publish it. ( like omg, what an honor??? )

She looks like sunshine, standing there with the amount of yellow in her wardrobe. Briefly, James wonders if that’s her favorite color. It’s got to be.

Im going to quote this whole fic but I really love these lines? Like, you have this distinct style of writiting that I aim to acheive and you’re literally such a rolemodel!!! These are my favorite kind of fics to read. Funny story but I was going through a ‘no thanks Jily’ mood (  a horror, i know !! ) but your fics are just,,,,exceptions? You could write about trash and I’d love it and ask for you to sign me up.

 “Say it again, but convincingly this time.”

ooof this dialogue??? let me breathe

This is the longest he’s stood still since he started working. It’s actually a miracle.

and the funniest person award goes to YOU. also, the most talented and cutest but thats neither here nor there.

james taking care of fleamont, switching off the lights gives me just a nice and realistic vibe? its so simple but i love how you added it.

honestly at this point, ive been sucked again by the fanfic. it feels less like a fic and more like a masterpiece that belongs in a museum but anyway.

“James is supposed to be helping.

James is on his phone.”

ugh i love ur mind. im rereading and its so nice and lovely. even if its like 1am and im exhausted, this fic is sustaining me.

“Do it off the clock, would you?”

PEAK HUMOR

have i mentioned how much i love that scene with euphemia? she seems like such a lovely mom. i love ur euphemia the most. and ahh, both of them just rushing to the hospital ? another 100% good scene.

“Euphemia smiles too, but looks at Fleamont rather than at her son. “Yes,” she says. “It really does.””

fic? or shakspeare? HMMM

A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen // “Get fucked.”

the fic!! has made a circle!!! i love how it begins and ends along the same lines. I really want to know how??? are you so talented im in love.

i just really love this fic, okay? i love how james is just the kindest, lily is allowed to have feelings, its just so soft and warm. and it makes someone feel loved, want love anyway.

the dynamic between the characters are just so real and great and im astounded, in short.

your sirius is everything. so many fics potray him as a dick??? which is first of all #rude and also, not at all true. you made me love these characters even more so i sincerely hope you never stop writing.

you’re such a beautiful writer and the way you string words together is just poetic and gorgeous and all the other good adjectives you can think of. i read your spiderman x reader too and i was a goner for you. EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS SO GOOD. i read it so long ago but i can vividly remember peter whipping the mask off and she just going wtf stop on the window ledge. what im trying to say is that you leave this lasting impression on people that make them remember random scenes and words / prose long after they’ve read it which is a remarkable feat, i believe.

and im so sorry im not on tumblr rn bc i cannot keep recing this fic but i have told my friends about your writing and they loved it too. you’ve got like a million fans. when i do get back from my hiatus, im going to keep recing your fics and people will cry because their universe will shift thanks to the newfound joy of your presence in their life.

lastly, im more of a dog person and that, more than anything, should tell you how much i love this fic. i love u. and basee on your writing, i want to hug you, be your best friend and make you cookies bc again

WOW

[toothyblowjob]

hi! i’m anon from mamoru (asking here cus asks aren’t on on ur sims blog) i’m really interested in your thoughts about incorporating disabilities into the sims, i’m trying to develop my own sims game cus fuck ea lol, and i’d really like to be as incorporating of disability as possible. thanks!

damn, my asks weren’t on? that sucks. i think i fixed it now, but i swear i already had them on...

anyway!!!

i’m looking at this more from a perspective of “how to make the sims 4 better” than like “how to make my own video game” and i don’t know much about coding or game development so idk how helpful some of this will be but hopefully some will?? infodump incoming!!! sorry if it’s not that coherent. i’ve bolded some keywords in case you want to only read sections pertaining to certain disabilities.

starting with canes, bc i use one and i wish my simself did: sims 3 had canes, but for some reason they were coded weird so only elders could use them (iirc modders weren’t even able to fix it?? wtf ea). plus ts4 has custom walkstyles, and your sim can hold things like umbrellas while walking, so it’s almost definitely possible to add canes and crutches.

adding walkers would probably be a very similar process, tho i can imagine there might be some issues w clipping? not that ea has ever given a single fuck about that lmao

i’m a little bit less sure how wheelchairs would work, but the best reference i can think of is the strollers from ts3, or maaaybe some of the smaller vehicles. i have a vague memory of like a bike or a hoverpad or something that you could ride everywhere and not just on the road, but idk. the main issue i can see is that certain animations and interactions would need to be a lot more flexible--eg, sims would need to be able to do things like cook or paint or give hugs while sitting down. i can also see it being a little tricky to animate “transfers” from like, a wheelchair to a desk chair or w/e. honestly i think this would be easier to implement in sims 4 than it would have been in sims 3, because ts4 at least allows you to multitask some things. idk, it would probably be on the harder side, but holy shit it would be so worth it.

and then for some reason when i think about wheelchair users in the sims i start to wonder how feasible it would be to include little people (i hope that’s the right term?). simmers have been wanting height sliders since at least ts3, but any time a modder tries to add one the animations start getting kinda wonky, and i don’t think anyone’s really considered a height slider that goes low enough to make sims with dwarfism. i KNOW there are non-sim games out there that use height sliders, but idk how tf they do it without giving everyone telekinesis.

there was a mod in sims 3 that added sliders for amputated limbs, but it was a purely cosmetic thing, so like, sims would still walk like they had two legs or write with their “missing” hand or w/e. ideally i’d love to see a way to give sims limb differences that actually affected how they went about their lives + gave them the option to use prosthetics. i found a set of running blades in the “shoe” category for sims 4, but like... if you give them to a sim they’ll still magically grow legs in the shower lol.

deafness i think ties into my desire for sims to be able to speak multiple languages. not all deaf people use sign language, of course, but it would be great if sims had the option. i guess languages would function like any other skills, and if two sims don’t have any languages in common, they won’t be able to communicate beyond very basic things. maybe if you wanted a deaf sim to be able to speak, you could hire a speech therapist, or purchase some sort of object for them to practice with. also, dyou remember the earbuds in ts3 that made it so like, you’d only hear the music when you selected the sim using earbuds? i think you could probably make it so that when a deaf sim is active the game volume is either much lower or completely off. then for things like hearing aids, you could equip them and the volume would get a little bit higher.

blindness could use a similar mechanic, but instead of everything being silent, everything would be very dark and low-contrast. maybe objects that were making noise or places your sim had been before would have more detail. blind sims could also use navigation canes that would like... light up the area immediately in front of them.

invisible disabilities, allergies, and neuropsychiatric conditions would probably be a bit easier to add. sims 4 has a “quirk” system for celebrities where certain actions can trigger your famous sims to develop new traits. 

i think the best example of how you could use this to make, for example, mental illnesses is the “emotion bomb” quirk. famous sims develop it after experiencing intense anger or sadness, and it basically makes them experience that emotion much more intensely. that’s already a symptom of a mental illness called bpd! so what if something like repeatedly being mean to a child sim had a 0.1% chance of causing them to develop bpd? or if having a powerful sad or tense moodlet had a 0.1% chance of causing them to develop depression? 

(side note: i can really easily picture something similar to the “dark form” for ts4 vampires being used for dissociative identity disorder. genetics would be consistent across all personality states, but they could have different traits and voices and clothing,)

certain conditions could also be present at birth, like autism or adhd. i actually have custom traits for these; they’re not perfect, but if you want to google them they might be a good reference. one little thing that i think would be neat is if autistic sims had idle “stimming” animations, like flapping their hands or spinning in a circle. the biggest problem, though, is that autism and adhd are highly variable and i’m not sure how to make it so that not all autistic sims have the same behaviors.

allergies i guess would have to have some sort of severity scale, and be triggered by a sim eating a certain food or petting a certain animal. i’d want the likelihood of a sim developing a particular allergy to be pretty low, but that’s just me lol. maybe sims with allergies could keep meds on hand to deal with the worst of their attacks?

actually, the allergies thing reminds me--diabetic sims! depending on which type, a sim could either be born with it or contract it later in life. i’m not totally familiar with how insulin works, but a sim could have a pump equipped to mitigate their symptoms, or take regular injections.

i have a custom trait in my game for chronically ill sims, which basically makes their energy deplete faster and sometimes gives them moodlets with little blurbs about their illness. this seems like a pretty good system for chronic illnesses, but obv it would vary a lot by which illness your sim has--eg, would you actually animate a sim with ehlers-dahnlos popping a joint out of their socket, or would you just give them an uncomfortable moodlet? in particular, though, i think the mechanic that makes elder sims unable to do most exercise would be great for sims with dysautonomia. 

also, i’ve mentioned some assistive devices already, but i think figuring out how treatment works would be a big deal. do sims have single-payer healthcare, or do they have to pay for everything themselves? can sims crowdfund their medicine? what kind of treatments/cures are available? are their side effects? some conditions don’t have cures irl, but maybe a sim can pay like $30k to a witch to make their fibromyalgia go away!

this is almost definitely more info than you wanted and i’m kinda embarrassed i wrote this much, but uh... here you go, a mostly stream-of-consciousness essay on disabilities in the sims! god i hope it’s readable

[goyangii]

How much radfems do you personally know in Korea? What do people tell you when they know you're a radfem?

ok so like just first off i live in america? idk why ppl assume that asians don't...exist in other places like. yes my family is from korea, yes i am korean. but that doesn't make me Korean Authority 101 and fwiw i wouldn't want to live in korea for a multitude of reasons so i can't answer your question the way you probably want,, 

also ive gotten DMs from ppl with weird questions like this as if even if i lived in korea i'm somehow like, this mouthpiece for the culture or as if koreans are some alien species like? i already have to deal with ppl assuming i don't speak english, that i'm not from here, when i go outside fdssgdgds like idk how to impress upon you that it's super highkey annoying to get the online equivalent of ppl saying 'oh! ann yung horse say yo' to me at work, on my blog,,, pls if this is how u guys interact with poc online, don't do this offline. also koreans aren’t like what you see in kpop, kdramas, etc. i have encountered a weird and surprising amt of ppl operating on this assumption and i just. screams. koreans aren’t a monolith, korean culture is heavily patriarchal and this has an impact on the way misogyny is inflicted upon kr women but it’s the minutiae that’s distinct and unique, kr women face (generally) remarkably similar issues to jp women, sea women, white women, hispanic women, etc. such as male violence, restriction of reproductive rights, religiously motivated misogyny (fsr ppl don’t seem to know a lot of koreans, esp korean americans, are at least passively religious? i think they get this assumption bc a lot of cn aren’t, and ime a lot of jp aren’t), sexual assault/harassment, pay gaps, familial issues like second shift, etc. this isn’t to say koreans don’t have unique cultural issues — beauty culture is a big one ime — but rather that there are a lot more similarities than differences when it comes to misogyny across the world. addressing this intersectionally doesn’t mean othering woc or their cultures, imho, but rather recognizing the differences that do exist. idk if this makes sense..          

all that said i put my exp under the cut, i hope it helps! 

my exp is that most younger koreans, esp korean americans, i know are libfems if they are feminists (which isn't really common at all ime, at most it's younger women who buy into libfem beliefs but wouldn't go as far as calling themselves feminist. the ones who do are very much edgy art student socjus types and i've only met them on my college campus lol). i have never ever met any older korean feminist here, and older koreans (men and women) tend to be pretty regressive/conservative in general. i can't count how many times i've been told off, directly or indirectly, by older koreans for how i talk, dress, groom myself, not having a bf/husband, and so on. younger koreans aren't much better, even the 'woke' ones, just the verbage changes.

interacting w/ korean relatives living in or visiting SK, radical feminism is the feminism of choice there but it is not by any means a "normal". feminism, even libfem, is not looked upon highly and being openly feminist is not normal or 'cool' outside of western facing circles and even then you'll probably get backlash from other koreans (usually men) for it. when i talk with my korean friends, fob or koream, about women's issues a lot of the time they might agree on certain things or join in on the ‘men suck!!1!!1′ venting, but once the topic veers towards feminism they're usually pretty withdrawn on it. i think it's interesting that doesn't seem to really change.

the only woman i know who is even vaguely feminist or accepting of me being feminist, let alone a radfem, is my mom surprisingly. maybe bc she's from busan lol. but she's very much unusual for a korean woman and while not feminist let alone radfem, refuses to date or marry men ever again (so ig she's an unintentional separatist queen? ..i'm joking gsdgds) and agrees with me on a lot, but not all, feminist topics like abortion and reproductive rights, women's rights in the workplace, domestic violence (which she/we were victims of, so ofc), etc. even lgb rights she's warmed up to quite a bit since i was a teen. but she is literally the only one, even my halmoni and aunties — who had abusive relationships with men! — think/thought feminism was unnecessary or even useless, despite being strong women in their own right.

what is interesting imo is that trans issues are a little complicated in sk. there are notable trans celebrities, but i’ve only known them to be hsts mtfs. when i came out as a tif, the logical conclusion was i was a super butch who was so gay i wanted to be a man to be ‘normal’ (i mean...not wrong in a way?) and this is the general perception a lot of koreans have of trans ppl. and while most are probably going to be polite about it, i don’t know any koreans, even younger ones, who are super pro trans rights or anything. i’ve met only one korean trans person who was a transbian mtf, but dozens of white trans ppl. that said i do find it interesting koreans seem to at least turn a blind eye to hsts mtfs but there’s still a lot of bristling about homosexuality. again this isn’t that dissimilar to how it is with other cultures, i guess, but it is interesting. 

last disclaimer that this is my exp and maybe other koreans have different experiences? feminist movements seem to be particularly strong in unis/college campuses and ive never been to a korean college/uni. maybe there is a stronger radfem presence there? but the only big radfem groups i know of operate mostly online (like WOMAD), much like in the west. imo radfem is just too radical to really make it mainstream, regardless of the culture. 

this ended up super long sorry 😩

[captusmomentum]

Excessively detailed asks: 1-19 odds only for Inan, 20-38 evens only for Tace plz :D

fuck me running this is a lot OKAY HERE WE GOOOOOO

INANALLAS

(heads up the pronouns are gonna jump around here bc inan uses they//them and she/her so hopefully doesn’t get too confusing rip)

1. What does their bedroom look like?

Surprisingly Clean. They’re exactly the type you’d expect to be super messy but thanks to living in such small spaces like aravals all their life they’re very good about keeping things in come kind of order. This stands even for modern verses, they’re very good about it. In verses they’re inquisitor they actually rearrange the room a lot, putting their bed on the balcony and making the main floor more of an office/living room as well as creating panels to help block out some of that sun bc HOLY SHIT WINDOWS, they also have a panel set to block the view of the bed which is really just wedged between it and the railing. The little bed alcove is very cozy and the main floor is much more functional and better for have friends up :D In modern aus, like say amd, they’re one of those people who’re like ‘ live in an apartment that’s only 90ft big :D’ and when they show you how it’s like part science miracle and part acrobatics bonanza. Like look at any tiny home or tiny apartment type show/place/thing and thats’ how they Roll. Mainly bc they’re fucking Broke AF, creative/innovative and well trained by dalish life for it. So bedrooms are usually like, lofts and shit like that which can mean it’s not much more than the essentials of Snoozing. 

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?They do! Inan works out pm everyday in pm every verse. Their style of magic is very, very very physical so it requires a lot of working out and training even in verses where they’re not constantly murdering ppl like canon ones they gotta get diesel for magic. In most verses they primarily do a variety of martial arts (or just one elf/dalish one? depends on how deep into worldbuilding you wanna get here honestly) and then things like running, weight lifting general kinda fitness exercise things. I imagine in modern verses and such (maybe more canon ones too tf do i know) that places like Arlathvhen’s there’s like, a sort of pow wow/olympics type event that goes on and clans have people representing them and Lath was disqualified for cheating bc she’s Weak in the temptation of Victory so Inan is the Obligatory Contender in at least some of the mage events, usually like, dueling bc it’s ironically her specialty. So she really does have to stay sharp when in verses where there’s no fighting bc she’s gotta bring home gold for clan Lavellan. 

(if u wanna get a sense of how inan fights it’s a LOT like pm anyone from avatar the last airbender/Legend of Korra especially Korra and Katara(atla) )(apologies about the katara vid and that shit music there’s So Little out there sobs)5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

Inan isn’t the most organized or together person which is combined w/ their dalish upbringing is why they’re Hyper Organized. Things have places and they go there ALWAYS otherwise they’ll never be found again ever. Also lots of labels. Their own living spaces are more organized than their work spaces, generally bc other ppl touch things or put things on their desk. Every time someone touches their things they have a small heart attack bc it means that something CRITICAL might have been moved and will never be found again. Seriously they are held together only by the power of their aesthetically pleasing organization and labeling. So school is Really Fun in modern aus (read: i’ve considered having them be a high school dropout for Various Reasons).7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

They Dream of wasting time. They Long to waste time. Everyday they pray they can waste time. Usually a lot of her time goes into things like Clan Stuff, Magic Stuff and Work Stuff so any chance they get to dick off they do. They fave method in modern verses is tv or youtube but in canon-y verses its Tavern w/ Bull or Tavern w/ Sera, the 2 people most likely 2 not call her out for Ditching Shit. Drinking w/ Dorian and/or Varric is very high on the list in all verses.9.Makeup?

Naaaahhhhhhhhhh. Generally too lazy for it and doesn’t like feeling of it on her face. Also it’s a real Bitch bc she’s always got tats on like 70-90% of her face and freckles (which she actually likes) so like foundation’s a Nah but you can’t do things like cover her dark circles w/o foundation otherwise the difference is Too Obvious like it’s just a Disaster. She can be convinced to wear it at special events and things but someone else has gotta do it. 

11. Intellectual pursuits?Some and very disorganized. Generally answering any Burning Mystical Questions they have regardless of worth or importance, debating (fighting) about topics involving analysis in books and things, Fade Stuff, Learning Elvhen. They don’t really actively pursue a lot of things bc they’re doing so much shit normally, they really only pursue it when the interest strikes. Also, proving that the occult is Real and Valid.13.Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?hoooooooooo boy dksjlgjfdsgfk, pansexual demisexual/grey-asexual is probably the best description. they don’t know they just like people and they don’t think about it they don’t think about Sex Stuff or ppls orientations it’s all W/E IDK and while they’re not prudish or squeamish about it they will run screaming for the hills things get too raunchy. Sex –especially sex involving them– has them looking for the nearest exit, not necessarily bc they’re sex repulsed but they are Extremely Anxious and Scared of interpersonal interaction so kissing is yiKESSSSSSSSSSSSS15.Biggest and smallest short term goal?Hmmmmm that’s really hard. Biggest is usually like: Not Die. Smallest is something like: whatever is next on to do list. They live a life of unnecessary extremes. 17.Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dressGoth mori/strega fashion vibes. Lots of skirts and layers and looking very much like a peasant wizard. Usually they just dress for the weather and put on as many layers as they can to feel safe and protected (and snuggly). There’s a lot of similarities in their logic about it with Uthvir but with miles of soft fabrics instead of spikes. Usually darker colors with an emphasis on blues. There’s not too much in the way of ritual around it since they’ve tailored their wardrobe so they can grab things put them on, and look good w/o any real effort.

 here’s the for inan fashion stuff 

19.What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Usually they go through a very specific ritual when going to sleep since they’re a dreamer to help keep that shit on lock which involves a lot of emptying of the mind and relaxing and preparing to deal with Fade Shit. If they don’t it’s just existential dread, anxiety and depression shit and panic. So they don’t not do the thing…….

TACE

20.Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?Tace wasn’t really sick much more than the normal amount and kinds as a kid and was the kind who conks out the whole time and doesn’t say, try to get up and play. As he got older and his dreamer abilities started to kick in he reacted to it like someone who was very sick, fevers, hot and cold, sweating. slept too much or not enough. He began to have trouble keeping food down and lacking an appetite which he still has problems with to this day along with sleep trouble and exhaustion. 22.Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?either doodles of dicks and such or a rude, raunchy or somehow unacceptable letter to someone whether he knew them or not he wrote for a laugh with no intention of sending. He’s very mature24.Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?He actually excels in a lot of things, he’s a pretty gifted mage. He just Hates the Circle and all that academia type shit so regardless of his skill in them he doesn’t want to do them. He thinks intellectual pursuits are on a whole a waste of time because they’re mainly just there to make people feel more important and fancy.26.Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?NOPE. NONE. past maybe ‘consult with that statue of Eleni Zinovia back in Ferelden about what to do w/ my life’ and ‘get a boyfriend’. 28.Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?hoooooo that’s Rough. Probably Banal though he’s more a father figure. He wasn’t very close to his other mages and hated the templars. Later when he meets Keshet and Shalev I guess they become his best friends which is...... very gay and lame.

Worst Enemy is Cullen and Meredith but Meredith is dead so fuck youuuuuuuu Culllleeennnnnnnn.30.Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)Boy This Sucks [Drinks like a monster even more than usual] 

he’s pretty desensitized to tragedy but also a shambling mess so it’s really just his usual self but like 1000000000000000% worse for a while

32.Thoughts on material possessions in general?

MORE PLEASE. he loves shit give him all the stuff he wants to lounge in a gaudy parlor on a opulent chaise. He never got to have much in the way of possessions in the circle so he lots shit now. also he’s just a material little shit.

34.Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI���?)He doesn’t care about other people’s privacy pretty much at all and loves getting into people’s shit but he’s VERY intense about his own privacy. He’s deeply protective of himself and his things and privacy. So he’s a wildly hypocritical guy.36.What makes them feel guilty?Not fucking much. He occasionally feels bad about how he’s treated someone but it’s not often and he’d never say it out loud. just kinda adds it to the pile of fuel for self-loathing.38.Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

He’d be a Type A if it weren’t how his life has gone so I guess he’s like, a burnout Type A.