#suffice to say that he's got like... a LOT of baggage

[audliminal]

Survivability Bias Pt 2

Masterpost - Ao3

Danny spends the next few days exploring the town more, while he considers the implications of everything he’d learned  at the library. He’d taken notes, but they’re not exactly the best. Danny’s never been that good at taking notes, after all, but he has a pretty good memory, so the various key words and few quotes he’d scribbled down are plenty useful in reminding him of all the wild shit he’d read about.

There’d been a lot of history involved in the whole meta situation. It seems like these so-called meta humans, and various other races (species? Danny doesn’t know nearly enough about the cultural implications of that) have been around long enough to have had a significant impact on the world at large. And yet, at the same time, there really hadn’t been a lot of personal information on any of the heroes. Oh, there’d been plenty on some of the villains - and of course there’d still be villains here, he’s not lucky enough to escape that - but aside from various speculation about their romantic lives, and a few acknowledgements of family ties here and there, there’d been very few details about where most of them actually came from.

Superman, for example (he seemed to be this world’s go-to example of metas and superheroes), is listed as being an alien, who’s powers come from his biologies unique interaction with this planet’s atmosphere, although it doesn’t explain anything about what that means. Interestingly, there seems to be almost no speculation about Superman’s so-called secret identity. Only about half the listed heroes seem to have one according to the public, but Danny knows that song and dance too well to fall for it. Honestly, they’re even more likely to have a secret identity than Danny himself, seeing as Danny’s alter ego is literally dead. Not that ghosts seem to be much of a thing here.

He’d felt so silly looking up information about ghosts, right before leaving the library. Compared to the deep dive into recent history, googling “are ghosts real” must have looked insane if anybody could see it. The answer he’d returned had been not unlike the way things had been when he was ten or twelve. Before the portal, you’d see dumb ghost hunter shows where they never actually saw much of anything. Ghosts were, like, poltergeists that moved your furniture around and slammed the doors shut. The results here had been a little more interesting - clearly in a world where superheroes are a fact of life, fantastical stuff is a little more rational, and the speculation was clearly affected by that fact, but it still had been, seemingly, all speculation.

Of course, none of that really mattered when it came to Superman. Danny was at least ninety percent sure he wasn’t a ghost. And even if he somehow was, it didn’t change the fact that he either has a secret identity, or he basically never takes part in society. And if he doesn’t have a secret identity, then the question very much becomes why not. Because that means he either has no real reason to care about anyone here (which seems implausible), or he’s unable to spend that time in public. It’s that possibility that’s knocked out any chance of Danny approaching any of the heroes. Because there’s always the possibility that the endorsed heroes are being used to lure other metahumans in. And Danny doesn’t know nearly enough about this world to make any kind of judgment on what’s most likely here. After all, historically there’s plenty of examples of governments that  work with specific people among targeted groups, in order to more successfully take out the others. it tends not to end well for those people when it’s all over, but anyone who’s short-sighted or even just backed into a wall enough can fall for that.

Hell, the GIW had actually tried that line on Danny once or twice, not that he’d ever accepted. After all, they’d never realized that was actually sort of alive, so their pitches had always been... less than convincing. 

Danny blinks, reaching out to touch the brick wall in front of him. He hadn’t meant to come back here, but honestly at this point, he really shouldn’t be surprised. This random little alley on side street wouldn’t be interesting at all to anyone else. But if Danny stares long enough, he can almost see the green-tinged light of the portal that brought him here. Not that he’d ever seen the portal from this side. He hadn’t turned to look until after the light had faded. The idea of seeing his friends’ faces through the swirling green had been too much.

They had all known exactly what it meant when he came here. The difficulty of the journey was the point. Between the anti-ecto acts gaining not just mainstream awareness, but support, and the GIW gaining access to better funding and training, well, the second the GIW had started successfully ending ghosts, it seemed like all the denizens of the zone had collectively decided to stay the fuck home.

At first Danny had enjoyed it, had relaxed and been excited to finally be able to focus on just being a teen. But the GIW hadn’t calmed down, had just started going even more on the offensive, and the second he and Jazz had noticed agents showing up casually at their house, everyone had gone into full alert.

That’s how they found out that the next goal was to apparently take the fight to the zone itself.

The conclusion had been easy from that point. The portal needed to be destroyed, and fast. But with the ghost zone blocked off (and Danny’s death being the unknowing link that made the portal ever work in the first place), that would leave Danny as one of three remaining targets.

They’d all immediately agreed that Vlad could figure out his own solution. Dani- well, she had been traveling, but the second she turned up, the others had made plans to send her on her own one way portal trip too.

Of course, the likelihood that she’d end up here is probably minuscule. So he’s alone.

“Hey,” a stern voice cuts through Danny’s thoughts. He glances over to the person who’s standing at the door to a building. “There’s no loitering here.”

Right. It’s almost easy to forget, in the face of his life’s inescapable absurdity, that to everyone else in this town, he just seems like a possibly-homeless delinquent. Not that the delinquent part is unfamiliar.

“Sorry,” Danny mutters belatedly, realizing that the person is just waiting as he stares at them like a weirdo. He’s not very good with people anymore. Not that he was that good to begin with. Phantom had been a Ghostly Menace, constantly destroying the town with his fights, nobody had expected him to function as a person. Nobody had thought he was a person. But as Danny Fenton- well, he’d fallen short of just about every expectation set at Danny Fenton’s feet.

Distantly he wonders if his friends even bothered to disguise his disappearance. He’d always kind of wondered if his parents would ever notice if he and Jazz just- left. School definitely noticed, though most of the faculty would probably take it as completely expected. After all Danny Fenton was a terrible student, constantly skipping class and never doing his work, and even when he was in class he was usually halfway to falling asleep anyways. Lancer had certainly lectured him about his lack of discipline more than enough. So they might just come to the conclusion that he’d dropped out and run away.

He doesn’t know if he’d prefer that, honestly. The truth is messed up and complicated and frankly, unbelievable. But maybe if they knew the truth at least one person might feel a fraction of sympathy for all the bullshit that he’d been dealing with. Funny, Danny thinks, how coming here feels more like a death than when I actually died.

[torntrianglesleeves]

in case you wanna hear trailers after dark it's on youtube https://youtu.be/SQ4IByx5sRM though ofc we don't know if it's changed since this version. at least we can assume the production value will be higher (assuming bc choose the latter is 👌 in that regard) but the lyrics will most likely be the same. in the live vid on that same channel he plays at least most of the songs on the album but it's so hard to make out the lyrics🥲

Got another ask with the link and thanks to both of you! My pc is being weird and I can't find the screenshots I just took of the other ask, but please know that i did read your thing!

Speaking of lyrics: "trailers after dark/waiting to be trusted". There are a lot of directions one can go with lyrical interpretations, and suffice to say we are coming at this entire album with the hope that it's a queer awakening journey. But, believing in my logicalness, I can't help but think that this song--with that quoted lyric as the kicker--is about Finn going to his trailer to collect himself, find himself, be in a place where it can just be him and...

Well, someone else. Someone who's a love to him. Lover? boyfriend? We can't know for sure. "Oh my darling don't stop loving". See, I and the rest of you really want to think this is about Noah, and a big part of me does, and will believe that. We need to be fair and understand that songs can also just be stories and this could technically be about anyone, or no one, and he's just spinning a bardic tale.

But the song has a title: Trailers. He spent whatever free time he had the last year, while filming that very emotional season, in that trailer. He either lived in that trailer or a hotel room, if he wasn't needed on set for a bit. It has to be about the time spent in that trailer and getting through the turmoil of the year, dealing not only with the baggage of what they're filming but also the alleged difficulties with castmates.

This song very strongly reads to me as Finn both going to this place to be with himself, being in the dark of his trailer to find comfort and love. I think he could be the "darling", telling himself to love himself. But I also think it can be Noah, definitely can be Noah, as the other person who's become dear to him and helps him feel betters. They filmed so much stuff together, spent probably most of their time together just because the work required it.

Sure, one can go to any number of people for help, but who better to be there with you after the emotional taxation of those scenes than the boy who filmed them with you?

And I stick to that line: waiting to be trusted. There's a want for what it means and the war over what it does mean. Perhaps a fear that he won't be trusted in trying to live his truth, or that his deep, raw feelings about this experience won't be accepted. It's such a complicated line and, as a writer and music boy, I am honestly in many directions about it

[pirdmystery]

sylvain jose gautier for the ask game

oiuhgggghhhggggggggggg…

first impression: it is important to note that i literally got into 3h because i knew it as “that game with sylvain in it.” i didn’t even know what to expect from him other than that. so when dimitri introduces him as “a bit of a skirt chaser” or whatever i’m like lol ok?? what??

impression now: if anyone is interested… go through my sylvain tags to get a feel for this. i’ve been spiraling lately. suffice to say i am SO sick about him like more and more every day. christ alive talk about a guy with problems. the way he is so smart and so soft but he is absolutely determined not to let anyone know either of those things… noooo I’m actually just a wacky little guy don’t worry about me… i’m just the comic relief… doing fine… yeah i know i said “burn until we meet again” and “see you in hell i guess” but that’s just because I’m being soooooo funny and normal… i’ve also never cried in my life btw…

fav moment: there are so many blink and you miss it unhinged sylvain moments in this damn game. i’ve talked about it recently but the fact. that if he does badly on a lesson and you pick console instead of critique he gets really bitchy and pissed off. like jesus christ. sorry for trying to extend you some gentleness buddy will not make that mistake again.

also let’s take a moment to recognize the iconic “it killed my brother and now it’s mine.” certified sylvain moment

idea for a story: i have billions. i never stop emotionally tormenting this man. got a 20 years post cf angstfest about he and felix coming. beyond that i am obsessed with the prospect of a sylvain/mercedes/ingrid ot3 and someday i am going write a fic with them that isn’t just the extensive smut that currently exists in my google docs

fav relationship: i have got to go with ingrid. i do very much ship sylgrid romantically and they make me sooooooooo unwell but even if i didn’t their friendship is just so important to me in a way i really struggle to put words to. the way they understand each other perfectly but that makes it almost harder for them to get through to each other because of all the layers of bullshit they have built up around the true version of themselves that the other sees. they bump heads a lot but the way it’s so obvious that under whatever they might be clashing about and the baggage of their years of friendship there is this foundation of unconditional love that is not going anywhere no matter what oh god suddenly i cant see the screen and there’s something happening to my eyes oh god

a fun thing about sylvain is that i could write equally unhinged paragraphs about his relationships with mercedes and dorothea!! something about girls he would normally flirt with and their response is :) hey i see you btw! and sylvain is forced to crumble like a little baby. i cannot get enough of that shit. get seen idiot. i’ve also been known to enjoy some yurivain and dimivain and claudevain for not dissimilar reasons.

unpopular opinion: once again idk what is popular!! i feel like my shipping tastes with him are not the most popular but everyone is nice to me when i talk about them so. it’s all good

favorite headcanon: most bisexual man on the planet. i also love making him work service jobs lmao. he works at subway in my sylgrid fic but there are so many other things i want to subject him to. he should have to sing happy birthday to people at applebees. he should be a barista at a shitty coffee shop. mostly this is because it’s funny but i also think would be deeply in character for sylvain to plant himself somewhere far below his skill level and languish there as if there were nothing else he could do about it.

tysm for letting me go off about him… man. sylvain.

[witchy-rook]

Please ramble more about the Treacle Mine revolution!

Thank you for asking! I'd be happy to!

But before I start, just for your convenience and anyone else's, I'm gonna link my answers to the two previous questions I got because it's become somewhat difficult to find them. Anyway, as always: spoilers ahead for Discworld generally but the Guards series in particular!

Now then, the Treacle Mine Revolution...What a revolution! Pratchett has a phenomenal capacity to capture what Revolutions actually feel like and how they progress, at least in my experience reading historical sources about them. Although I have no doubt that, to a certain extent, Pratchett is drawing on British history for much of the foundations of Ankh-Morpork's own history, with some Classical elements thrown in there for good measure, I think from the point of view of the city's Revolutionary History, we need look no further than the most famous (and infamous) of revolutionary lands: Revolutionary France.

Specifically, if you look at the history of Ankh-Morpork's various revolutions, I think you see a sort pastiche (if you will) for France's own myriad revolutions. There's a lot more going on in these books than a simple ripping of French history (nor is French history even the only history they're ripping!), but I think it's worth diving into the real-world comparisions clearly at play here.

Let's roll back to Feet of Clay for a second. In this book, we learn a lot about Vimes' lineage, and specifically the baggage he has inherited from 'Old Stoneface' Vimes. We learn that Old Stoneface was involved heavily in the revolution which ended the line of Ankh-Morpork's kings (certain present members of the Guards perhaps notwithstanding), and not only that, but Old Stoneface was the man that swung the axe that killed the King.

Now, I don't think it would be too much of a reach to compare this to the first French Revolution: the one of 1789 and the eventual beheading of Kings. Granted, the French Revolution is by no means the only time that Kings were beheaded, but I think it's notable for our Ankh-Morpork comparision because it was one of the first times that was done to put a kind of democratic system in place. I'd argue that the Patrician seems like more an oligarch than a president or prime minister, but I think this is also because, amongst its many influences, Ankh-Morpork and its neighbouring cities on the Sto plains are clearly vibing off the medieval Italian city states. Hell, one is even called Genua.

Anyway, with that context in mind, let's fast forward back to Night Watch. The thing you'll need to bear in mind about the first French Revolution (and the reason I brought it up at all), is that its status as a 'Triumph of the People!' and a victory for 'universal liberty' etc etc is actually quite disputed. You have to remember that, initially, all the Revolution did when they stormed the Bastille and what not is, essentially, apply a Constitution to the King - now this was still pretty avant-garde by the standards of European politics, but the British already had a Constitution, so it wasn't exactly wholly novel. Things moved in an increasingly republican direction in subsequent years, capping off in 1793 with the literal capping off of King Louis, but the legacy of the French Revolution was always rather up for debate, especially given that it ended with Napoleon, a self-styled Emperor. So if you're wondering why France saw countless revolutions thereafter, it was because, from a republican/radical perspective, it was a project that had never really 'properly' finished. Whether France should be a republic or a kingdom was something that was up for debate constantly throughout the 19th century.

Enter: the Paris Commune. I don't have the time or, frankly, the qualifications, to dive fully into the Paris Commune, because it's a little outside my time period, but suffice it to say that this event is part of the long legacy of French revolutionary politics stretching back to the first Revolution and, to some extent, the birthplace of modern socialism. As I mentioned in one of my other posts, it's probably the thing you think of when you imagine an urban revolution at all. Barricades along the streets with flags and banners flying? The Paris Commune wasn't the only one to do that, but it sure was one of the most famous.

And I think the parallels with the Treacle Mine Road Republic are very stark (I bet you thought this was just another historical tanget!) We only get a patchwork knowledge of what happened during the Treacle Mine Revolution the first time around, mainly from Vimes' attempts to pre-empt what he remembers from the history, but that's enough to build a pretty clear picture. We know that the Revolution started in response to rioting and military massacres elsewhere in the city; we know that the People barricaded Treacle Mine Road and its adjacent streets to protect themselves; we know that the military attempted both a kind of siege and an attack on the barricades; we know there was a kind of sense of community amongst those inside the barricades.

To me, this reads like a very clear analogue for events in Paris during the Commune. Granted, the reasons for the Commune were different, and the real Paris Commune last over 2 months, but the kind of 'city within a city' that is depicted in Night Watch did happen, and while I'm sure the Paris Commune is not the only example of this, it's a pretty damn good analogue.

And again, what's most interesting to me about the Treacle Mine Revolution, as I alluded to in my other post, is that, much like the Paris Commune, it was a failure. It was not the actions of the revolutionaries that led to change in Ankh-Morpork, it was the actions of political conspirators and hired assassins. But despite this, the revolution is clearly important in the minds of at least some Ankh-Morporkians, even if it's mainly just those who were involved. Perhaps some of them, like their own real-world counterparts, consider this a project that has still not 'properly' finished? Nonetheless, this sense of importance is true of many political events in our world, the Paris Commune among them: they may have been failures, but that doesn't mean they weren't significant.

So! To wrap up with some kind of conclusion, I think the Guards series frequently touches on the idea of historical legacies, but Night Watch is especially interesting because, through Vimes, we get to live through the formation of that legacy. And, if you were ever interested in reading more about this kind of thing, I'd highly recommend you look no further than France and its colourful, revolutionary history!

[bipolarguyaz]

I’ve actually been thinking a lot about this lately:

I only have one full-blooded sibling, my older brother, but I have 3 younger half-siblings.

I grew up with my older full brother who is two years older and my younger half brother who was born when I was about six years old. His dad was my stepfather and he is my mom’s third and final child. His dad (my stepdad) died when I was 20 years old and my little brother was about 14.

My older full brother lives in a different state now and I haven’t seen him in 5 years although we talk on messenger quite often. We fought and argued a lot growing up, but we’re semi close now and we always have a great time when we get together…although that isn’t very often anymore. He’s hoping to come visit in December, and I’m excited because we haven’t spent any time together since 2018.

The younger half brother I grew up with lives in the same city, and I get to see him about three or four times a year. We’re both married and have families now, so we don’t spend as much time together as we would like but it’s always nice when I get to hang with him at birthday parties for our kids and that sort of thing. Overall, I would rate my relationship with my older brother and my immediate younger brother as being very good: They’re both very smart hard-working guys and they both have a wicked sense of humor.

My birth parents divorced when I was about three, my dad basically dropped off the face of the Earth until I was almost seven and then came back in my life albeit on a very limited basis. My dad remarried in about 1988 and in 1990 my youngest half brother was born. I was 11, my brother was born three months premature and nearly died several times…most of us were pretty sure he wouldn’t make it, but he defied the odds and is alive today and just turned 33 years old.

Then my half sister, my youngest sibling, was born in 1993. Their mother, my stepmom, an amazing woman who loved me like I was her own child unfortunately died of cancer in 2004 when my brother was 14 and my sister was 11.

This is where things get dicey, and why my relationship with the two of them is weird to say the least:

Immediately after their mother’s death, my dad tried to take care of his two youngest but he was dealing with severe bipolar disorder and substance-abuse issues so he couldn’t even take care of himself. He still can’t, but that’s an entirely different story.

Long story short, my little brother and little sister went to go live with a guardian who was their mom’s best friend. This lady is a real piece of work, I could write an entire article about her as well, but suffice it to say my sister got herself kicked out when she was 13 and my brother continued to live with this lady until he was 18.

Once again, my dad tried to swoop in and take care of my sister, but that went South immediately and my wife and I recognized that whole situation was not going to be healthy for her. We ended up renting a place from my in-laws and becoming her guardian right around the time she turned 14. I should note that my sister and I had had a very close relationship up to that point, and that continued for several months after she came to live with us…but she ended up bringing baggage that I did not know how to address, especially since I myself was only 28 at the time, and my own child had it not yet been born.

I would love to say that my wife and I built this caring, nurturing environment and we were able to raise my sister effectively, but that would be a lie. I did not know how to handle that child, I did not know how to parent my youngest sibling, we got her counseling after I found out that she was on drugs but the counselor was completely useless. We ended up both resenting each other, and she moved out right when she turned 18 just a few months before graduating from high school.

As for my younger half-brother who was born premature, he continued to have significant developmental delays despite being an incredibly intelligent kid. He has ADHD and autism along with some motor impairments, but he was able to sporadically keep a job now and then. The guardian he was living with (the same one who took my sister out) wanted to enroll him in a skills program after he graduated High School and put him in a group home so that he would have someone to continue to look out for him, but my dad once again in the midst of one of his bipolar mania episodes decided he was going to get off disability and use his aircraft engineering knowledge to apply to Lockheed Martin in Palmdale California working in the F-22 program and take my brother out there with him to live

Well, they get out there, everything is going fine until Lockheed finds out about a DUI that my dad failed to report. He doesn’t get the job, they end up stranded in a trailer in the middle of nowhere, somehow or another they ended up in Utah staying in the backyard of an old girlfriend of my dad’s and my poor brother nearly froze/starved to death of there while my dad wallowed in his deep bipolar depression. This went on for a year or so, we had no contact from them at all. By the time we heard from them again, they had made it down to Phoenix, and were using their disability income to rent a place.

They made it down here to Phoenix right before my sister graduated from high school in 2011. The three of them had various living arrangements in which sometimes my sister would be shacking up with random people, and then the three of them would live together for a brief periods of time. Mostly, it was my dad and my brother living in terrible roach-infested apartments they could barely afford while my sister would sponge money off of them. My brother would get a job delivering Grubhub and my dad would drive for Lyft. The problem is, my dad is a scary and terrible driver, so he frightened too many passengers to be able to continue doing that and destroyed the brand new car he got.

oh, and my dad is a disabled veteran, so at one point they got a VA loan and bought a brand new house in Sun City West. I’m sad to say I was absolutely enraged because at that point I was finishing grad school and working two jobs to support my disabled wife and young daughter and I had never owned a house in my life, meanwhile their lazy incompetent asses get to move into a brand new one?

Anyway, what happened there was my dad didn’t make money for several months due to his bipolar depression and mangled car, my brother can’t pay for anything, and they get kicked out of the new house. No, I didn’t feel good about that, I felt horrible

As toxic as all of this sounds, I assure you it’s much worse than what I’m putting here. I’m leaving so much out.

My sister moved up to Seattle to get away from them, and they ended up following her a couple years later. They lived together briefly up there, but then my dad had a stroke. She tried to step in and help but the toxicity of their dynamic was too much for her and she moved out and took her income and resources with her. As for my dad and my brother, they lost their apartment.

My sister had a motorhome parked on the property of some dude she was sleeping with, my brother lived there with her for several months and they all ran out of money while his health suffered tremendously. My dad ended up in a family group home paid for by Medicaid, and my sister ended up dumping my brother off at a homeless shelter where he has been for 10 months now.

All three of them have severe mental health challenges which make relationship maintenance very difficult, so my feelings about my brother and my sister are tainted by that. My wife and I have done a tremendous amount of work with my brothers social worker to reestablish his public aid benefits, and try to get him out of there, but the problem is he’s comfortable and doesn’t want to leave . So there we are. My sister drops in on Facebook every now and then, but most of the time I have no idea where the hell she is.

people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

[ilyasorokinn]

(day seven) coming home for christmas , pyotr kochetkov

note, this fic is part of my christmas series called taylor's very merry christmas series. check out this masterlist for the rest of the series. another note, so, i don't want to offend anyone, but as we know, pyotr speaks russian, so everything in italics, image it's russian. it definitely won't be accurate because english and russian aren't the same, so if anyone wants to correct me, please do! pair, pyotr kochetkov x reader summary, y/n and pyotr were on opposite sides of the country and when pyotr heard y/n couldn’t get a flight home, he was heartbroken. what he didn’t know was his teammates had secretly gotten y/n a ticket home and planned to surprise him and she was, in fact, coming home. warnings, none word count, 962 words

(gif not mine)

"You got your ticket?" Andrei asked from the other end of the line.

"Yes, you emailed it to me like two weeks ago." You laughed, "I'm fine. I got this."

"I know, I know. I'm just really excited."

"I can tell." You laughed, "And you're sure Pyotr is still oblivious?"

"He's still moping."

"Aw, poor baby." You frowned.

"But just think about his reaction." Andrei reminded you.

"I know." You sighed, imagining his face when he opens the door and sees you standing on the Staal's doorstep for their Christmas party.

"I gotta go, but I'll talk to you soon," Andrei told you.

"Okay, I'll see you soon." You smiled.

-

Leading up to the day you were set to leave your home and fly to Raleigh, you were trying your best to hide your excitement whenever you and Pyotr talked.

"So, what're you gonna do on Christmas since your not gonna be here with me?" He asked.

You did your best to hide your smile, "Nothing much. Watch some Christmas movies." You shrugged.

"Sounds boring." He pouted.

"When I come down, that's all we're gonna be doing. I don't care what you have to say." He pretended to be annoyed by that, but you knew he wouldn't complain.

"So, tell me, what're you gonna do for Christmas?"

"Besides missing you?"

You smiled, "Yes, besides that."

"Svechy is supposed to come over, so we're probably gonna chill for a bit."

"Sounds fun." You nodded along, "Well, listen, I don't want to hang up, but I know it's late for you right now cause it's late for me. So, go to sleep."

"No, I don't want to sleep." A lie. You knew that because right after he said that, he yawned.

You smiled, "Go to sleep." You repeated, "I'll call you when I'm getting ready tomorrow." You had a tradition where you would all him, whenever you weren't together, and you would get ready on FaceTime with him, so it was almost like you were getting ready together.

"You better." He playfully narrowed his eyes.

"I promise." His glare softened, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

-

As the day of your flight got closer, it became harder and harder to contain the secret, but you managed. The day before your flight, your friends helped you pack.

The next day, your friends dropped you off at the airport, giving you a pep talk and a big hug before sending you off. The entire flight, you were an anxious mess. You spent the flight rotating between watching movies, anxious-eating peanuts, and reading a book.

When you landed, you were greeted by Andrei waiting at baggage claim, with a sign with your name written on it in big letters. You rolled your eyes as you approached him, "Nice to see you, too." He joked.

"What's with the sign?" You asked as he pulled you into a hug.

"Well, you had to know where I was."

"I think a phone call would've sufficed." You pointed out.

"Yeah, but that would've been no fun." He shook his head as he watched you grab your suitcase on the spinny thing, "All right, the party starts in like 3 hours, but you can get ready at my place and I'll take you with me."

"Awh, how sweet." You cooed jokingly as you made your way out of the airport towards the parking lot.

-

Andrei drove you to the party and you hid all your stuff in the Staal's guest room and mingled with everyone, catching up with all the others while you waited for Pyotr to get there.

He was coming with one of the other guys and if there was one thing you learned about Pyotr early on, it was that he had a tendency to be late.

You were talking with one of the girls when you heard Pyotr's loud voice come through the door. Nykki smiled and took that as her sign to let you go.

You leaned against the wall, waiting for Pyotr to notice you. You saw a few others gather around too, phones out as they recorded the special moment.

Pyotr finally looked up from his conversation and noticed you and froze, like actually. You saw every muscle in his body stop as he stared at you, trying to decipher if you were real or not.

It took a couple of seconds for his brain to start up again, but when it did, his legs moved quickly over to you. He wrapped his arms around you, lifting you off the ground as he squeezed you tight.

"Liar!" He exclaimed, pulling away just so he could look into your eyes.

You laughed, "I'm sorry. I had to. But before you thank anyone, thank your teammates. They're the ones who bought my plane ticket and flew me out."

He looked over to his teammates, who had gathered in the entryway after hearing all the commotion, "Thank you." He smiled sincerely.

-

Later that night, you and Pyotr were cuddled up in his bed, tucked under a big comforter, "I mailed your gift to your house." He lifted his head from your chest.

"It's okay." You shook your head, "I'll open it when I get back."

He shook his head, "I don't want to think about you leaving."

"Well, you're stuck with me for the next week and a half." He squeezed you a little tighter at the reminder of your stay, "And guess what we're gonna do?"

"What?" He looked up at you.

"Watch crappy Christmas movies all day." You smiled.

"Fine." He rolled his eyes, "But I get to pick them."

"Your options might be a bit limited."

"We're fitting Elf in there somewhere."

"Deal." He laughed as you held your hand out, but shook it.

-

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[scrapyardboyfriends]

If they would go with a SL like Arthur and Marshall I could kinda see them trying to make Adam and Aaron a thing or something lol, I've noticed some modern shows love the whole best friends are secretly not straight and fall in love with each other trope. I like it if done well but I also cannot picture it because I don't ship Adam and Aaron in that way hahaha. I also think that a lot of Aaron's coming out storyline kinda works well with his general personality back then, so if his personality was the same, I could imagine them handling some issues (like his suicide) similarly to back then. But I don't think it'd be as good because like you say, there really isn't that same community feel. It'd most probably be more of an isolated storyline and they'd probably give him like one friend to hang out with and we'd see them hang out on screen like once every three months or something lol. I was watching the 2008 episode where Vic falls through the snow and the friendship/general vibes with those young characters felt different.

This goes a lot with my long rant about today's teens from my previous ask.

But yeah, I could see them going for a Bartsy thing if they did the story today. Still angsty because it's Aaron and he's got all of his self loathing issues but maybe with a softer place to land if it turns out his best friend returns his feelings even if it takes them a little while to get on the same page. If Adam was bi and this was a new thing for him. Could have played out somewhat similarly to my When You Know You Know story except I doubt Adam would have had all of the same baggage.

I feel like that could have been a decent way to go for a modern Aaron coming out story if he was a teen today but I'm also thinking of it a bit in line with what the show was like in 2009/2010 and it would have played out so much better then. Because now they'd have to do all of that in like 30 episodes instead of 130. And it would be an isolated story with only minimal outside engagement.

But the thing is, if they'd gone for that with Arthur, like he's figuring himself out or he comes out and then one of the other teens is figuring out their sexuality too, say Elliot or Heath and it plays out as a longer more developed story I still don't think it would have been that good because these kids are just not strong enough actors for it. I mean technically the Arthur/Marshall story is that a little bit but it's all done in 20 something episodes, the parents are super involved and there's not a lot of screen time for them to really develop and kind of rapport together, plus they're still only 15.

Suffice to say if we transported young Danny and Adam to 2023 I think the story would play out way better because they were better young actors with better chemistry (even the friend chemistry is better than Arthur and Marshal's attempted romantic chemistry), but it would suffer from all of the other limitations of the times and current producers.

[catiewithvt]

And now an early morning essay on how I would have sex with my partner an essay that no one asked for but I'm still going to type out on my phone because some times you just have to type out the things you want to say.

The ways I would have sex with my partner is going to be a very interesting read into my own personal psyche because as like majority of you I am a deeply damaged person with parent issues (aka abusive parents) so I may call my partner "Daddy." Because my real father is a piece of shit and has left me to fend for myself far too many times.

Now I would never call any woman "Mommy" because that one comes with a lot more baggage and would not really suffice all that well. Since my mother physically abused me to the point where if my voice was heard earlier in life I would have probably been taken away to CPS. Thus I hate the word "Mommy" because of my past experiences with my own hateful mother

Anyways back to having sex because I went on far too long about my own personal baggage and it probably won't be brought up again nope not whatsoever.

Alright to begin I would start by well touching my partner, and not the other way around because physical touch from someone else kinda scares me. You know because physical touch is sacred for me and is one of my main love languages, so when I touch you or let you touch me, that's a personal thing that I have let happen and you should actually feel like a tiny bit grateful for because I don't let anyone touch me.

Especially on the shoulders because those shoulders are extra sensitive to me because that's where my neighbor (who I am still neighbors with, and yes this is a cry for help because I still feel slightly unsafe because knocking and whistling now make me jump and have trauma induced flashbacks) touched me the most while he was sexually assaulting me, especially when I was in a very vulnerable position... This old crusty man wanted to do more to me and I am glad I got out when I could but the situation still scares me to this day... That this man could have done worse to me...

Anyway so I will start touching my partner gently maybe giving them a backrub or maybe making out something that will get them a little bit bothered, doing a bunch of teasing as I slowly start edge closer and closer to the point of no return~

Which reminds me of the point of no return with my ex had I known he was that manipulative and a terrible terrible person I probably would have burned that bridge even harder. Atleast I'm getting the last in the end, I'm not saying how but atleast I am getting it in the end.

Finally finally I would start to go down on my partner, giving the occasional suck before eventually using my full force to really go down on them like a swift and hard vacuum cleaner trying to get that last spec of dirt off the carpet.

after that I would tell my partner that I want them to take me hard and let me feel ever lasting pleasure because I want them deep inside of me, because we at a crucial moment of deep deep passion

So while my partner finally decides to start dicking me hard and vigorous I will finally, cry because finally I know that I am passionately loved by someone who wants my body and doesn't think I'm fat, or ugly because I'm disabled or don't look a certain way.

Because that's someone that I've had to come to terms with for a long time, and there have been times where I have felt extremely unloved, and I just wish there were people there to comfort me and tell me that everything will be okay because I am loved who I am.

Because I've dealt with self esteem issues for so long and the lingering thoughts if I'll even feel love, or if any of this was even worth it. Because I almost gave up while being harassed so badly that I've had to private my Twitter twice just so I could have peace, honest if it weren't for my supportive friends and partner I probably would have lost my own battle.

And the finale happens where finally we both reached our climax eventually with me most likely being filled and probably getting pregnant. My partner is hopefully kissing me still and calling me beautiful and telling me that eventually I'll be a good mother.

I hope I'm a good mother... Because I didn't have a mother to look up to...

And that's how I would passionately have sex with my partner, hopefully it wasn't too too deep or graphic for you all!

[90363462]

Saturday Night Live Recap: Dave Chappelle Takes SNL to a Season High

Photo: NBC/Rosalind O’Connor/NBC

When he first hosted Saturday Night Live in 2016, Dave Chappelle famously said he would give Donald Trump a chance.

That was sort of how I felt about Chappelle when I learned he’d be hosting SNL this weekend.

It was a fairly new feeling. For many years, instead of “a chance,” I would simply give Dave Chappelle my wallet and my heart. In fact, I remember where I was — walking to a work thing in Williamsburg — when I saw a tweet about Chappelle hosting the first SNLafter the 2016 election. It was an instant hit of pure joy, directly into the bloodstream. That election had engulfed all of America, for far too long, in an ominous aura of pervasive dread, like an imminent car crash in slowest possible motion. Everyone wanted it to just be over but it felt like it would never end and it was difficult to imagine life afterward. The announcement of Dave Chappelle’s belated SNL debut, though — alongside A Tribe Called Quest, at that — was a reminder that not only was this grotesque election finally almost over but that good things awaited on the other side, independent of the outcome. And when the day arrived, Chappelle’sEmmy-winning turn ended up being a bright spot in what was, for many people, a very dark time.

Suffice to say, a lot has changed since then — both in America and in Dave Chappelle. That impossibly long election gave way to three chaotic Trump years, culminating in a somehow-even-more-chaotic pandemic election year, followed by even more chaos. Meanwhile, the rare thrill of seeing Chappelle perform stand-up on TV again during his 2016 SNL monologue slowly curdled into routine with his shockingly prolific run of Netflix specials. Comedy is obviously subjective and a lot of people loved each and every one of these, but to your recapper, they started to feel as tossed-off as they were increasingly bitter and combative. Having one’s jokes appear effortless is a stand-up magic trick, and Chappelle is a wizard at it. However, most of these specials were larded with lots of material that just felt low effort. And all of this is before we even get to the elephant in the studio during this SNL episode.

As you may be aware, Chappelle has faced heavy criticism in the past few years over his material about trans people. He’s been boycotted by Netflix employees, excoriated on Twitter, had a live performance canceled, and got tackled at the Hollywood Bowl last May by a guy whose stated motive for the attack so neatly aligns with a caricature of triggered comedy fans as to seem like a psyop. However, in that same span, Chappelle has also sold out venues everywhere, won an Emmy, made a deal to continue his wildly lucrative business relationship with Netflix, post-boycott, and, uh, been welcomed back to host Saturday Night Live. While some fans might call this ongoing success a victory over those who tried to cancel him, others might call it further proof that free speech isn’t quite as endangered as Chappelle constantly makes it out to be since turning his inherent right to make trans jokes into a hill to thrive on.

“The more you say I can’t say something, the more urgent it is for me to say it,” Chappelle said in What’s in a Name, a 40-minute TED Talk–esque quasi-special Netflix released in July. “And it has nothing to do with what you’re saying I can’t say. It has everything to do with my right, my freedom of artistic expression. That is valuable to me.”

It’s a valid point. At the same time, Job One for a comic is being funny, and while there have been many Free-Speech Martyrs in comedy before — and many currently cranking out cranky content about the fear of cancellation — there have seldom been humans as funny as Dave Chappelle. He’s always been somewhat bitter, but Chappelle used to take rascally delight in exploding the racial inequality that seemed to be the source of his bitterness. Recently, though, he doesn’t seem to be having much fun either in his stunt-y trolling of trans people, or his misguided scolding of those who would dare be offended by the wrong thing. Whether you agree that he’s gotten less funny since leaning practically full-time into grievance and controversy-stoking, it’s almost an objective truth that there is little in the world less funny than closing out a comedy special in 2021 by complaining in earnest that Kevin Hart was unfairly thwarted from achieving his dream of hosting the Oscars.

All of this is to say that by late 2022, I’d become indifferent to Dave Chappelle. The idea of wading through another hour of cancellation-themed humor to see if he’d actually be funny while exercising his right to poke the bear seemed like a snoozy chore. When SNL announced a threepeat of his post-election hosting tradition, though, I was willing to give him a chance. I wasn’t expecting him to help deliver by far the most consistently funny episode of the season.

Here are the highlights.

Stand-up Monologue

Clocking in just shy of his 16-minute monologue during the 2020 episode, Chappelle got the crowd roaring right away and seldom let up. Clearly, he went through some “there but for the grace of God go I” in the past month while watching Kanye torpedo both his reputation and his fortune — and thankfully he shared that experience with the rest of us. It was electrifying to watch him get close to the third rail of antisemitism while putting Kanye on blast for outright grabbing it, and explore the space in between. While he covered a lot of other ground in the monologue, his material about Kanye and Jews felt like a smarter and funnier expression of his comedic mission to test boundaries than anything that’s landed him “in trouble” on Netflix.

However, while he appeared to be coming at this material as an experiment in what he could get away with, rather than wanting to normalize antisemitic tropes, the results are largely the same either way. It’s not much of a surprise that the Anti-Defamation League has condemned Chappelle’s monologue.After wisely deciding not to pour gasoline on his previous controversy this outing, it looks like he may have ignited a fresh one.

Potato Hole

The buildup around what a Potato Hole might be goes on for so long, in such intentionally corny fashion, it feels like whatever weird sexual thing it turns out to be will inevitably be a letdown. So, when Chappelle’s bluesman Willie T. Hawkins finally reveals its very real slavery-derived definition, it lands hard. Andrew Dismukes’s anchor slowly putting down Hawkins’s album that he’d been holding up is a perfect punctuation to the main joke in this perfectly timed sketch.

Sarah Sherman Debuts Sarah News

It sorta feels like all that antagonizing of Colin Jost on “Weekend Update” has been leading up to this demented moment. Sarah Sherman fully hijacks the “Update” desk for four howlingly funny minutes of Topical Humor (Sarah’s Version), and I wish she would never give it back.

Heaven Scene

As a premise for a Chappelle sketch, “Black heaven” has a lot of potential. It is far funnier, though, to burn that premise for a fourth-wall-busting bit about Chappelle forcing Mikey Day to star in a sketch about Black heaven for his own devilish amusement. How much fun does the host look like he’s having here, surrounded by Chappelle Showalum Donnell Rawlings and Black Star, enjoying Day’s feigned awkwardness? You really do love to see it.

Please Don’t Destroy — Election Night

I compared Molly Kearney to Melissa McCarthy in a previous recap, but as they appear in more scenes, I’m seeing more shades of Chris Farley. Kearney’s manic desperation here, in trying to avoid becoming the attorney general of Ohio, has the same endearing vulnerability Farley brought to similar silliness. Also, it makes a subtle statement that the final sketch of a show hosted by someone so critical of gender expression ends with Kearney’s pronouns onscreen.

Stray Thoughts

• As a survivor of the year 1999, I appreciated the “Steal My Sunshine” reference in Trump’s rant during the Fox & Friends cold open. (James Austin Johnston’s uncanny mimicry of Trump’s stream-of-consciousness rant style is what got his foot in the door at SNL.) Also, Ainsley Earhardt (Heidi Gardner) wondering whether she was allowed to say “Wakanda Forever” turned out to be a nice tone-setter for the episode, with spiritual echoes in at least three other sketches.

• It’s amazing how long they let this sketchgo on as a House of the Dragon parody before revealing that it’s actually a sequel to the Chappelle Show character bonanza from 2016, which centered on Walking Dead. Also, Tyrone Bigguns using dragon fire to light his crack pipe was an inspired touch.

• I have a feeling that Kenan Thompson’s hair clippers buzzing immediately after a white person says something out of pocket is about to become a meme on TikTok, thanks to this barber-shop sketch.

• Sharp jokes all around on “Weekend Update,” but the visual gag of Tucker Carlson, “seen here trying to make it through No-Nut November,” was the killer line.

• With his debut of unlikely presidential hopeful Jose Suarez, new cast member Marcello Hernández is now two-for-two on “Weekend Update” desk pieces this season.

This recap has been updated.

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[darthkvznblogs]

Saw the new chapter, nice! BTW, how would the various characters celebrate Pride Month?

Apologies, I've been busy with last chapter's reviews!

Wowza, that's a huge ask - I've made a conscious effort to normalize LGBTQIA+ identities in my stories, so there's a lot of ground to cover here! There's also a minor issue in that most of the current stories are set in 2012, which is quite a different landscape in regards to the acceptance of the LGBTQIA+ community compared to nowadays.

With that in mind, I'll try to go for the "ideal" celebration (and I'll throw in the characters' gender identities and sexual preferences, since I've already got those in my ongoing character database). Obviously, this only applies to the characters as portrayed in the Kryptonverse!

(This is a long one, so I'll add a "read more" thingy for the sake of those who aren't interested.)

- I think Luz would take Pride Month as an opportunity to more overtly explore her gender noncomformity; much like was showcased in the Grom episode, she might try on different outfit combinations, different pronouns - whatever makes her feel closer to her ideal self. I think her stint in the Boiling Isles would only make it that much clearer how truly silly it is for other people to try and dictate what she should look or behave like. Luz currently identifies as a bisexual, cisgender woman, but she has found comfort in identifying as nonbinary in the past, and there's really no telling how she might feel in the future.

- Kryptonian society had a great many issues, but a resistance towards gender variance and non-heterosexual preferences wasn't one of them - as long as you followed the strict life path set up for you by the Empire, of course. Kara is still confused about the human attitudes towards this subject, and angry that they affected Alex and Lena negatively in their youth. I think she'd celebrate Pride Month by pushing the Avengers to champion causes that protect the LGBTQIA+ community - not that they need much convincing. Think parades, lobbying for legislation, impassioned speeches, and million-dollar donations to worthy charities - whatever it takes to make sure people know where their heroes stand on this issue. Kara is a pansexual cisgender woman, Alex and Lena are lesbian cisgender women, Tony is a pansexual cisgender man, Steve is a (closeted) bisexual cisgender man, Natasha is an aromantic, bisexual, cisgender woman, Clint is a biromantic, heterosexual, cisgender man, and Rhodey and Bruce are both heterosexual, cisgender men (the Hulk himself is pansexual though).

- Not that Ben was against it before, of course, but I think gaining the ability to swap bodies (and genders, depending on the transformation) at will would give him a much greater appreciation for people who suffer from dysmorphia or otherwise don't gel with the body they were born with. I think he'd champion trans causes specifically during Pride Month - much to the anger of his parents, both conservative politicians. Ben is a bisexual, cisgender man, Julie is a bisexual, cisgender woman, Kevin is a heterosexual, cisgender man, and Gwen is a (currently questioning) bisexual, cisgender woman.

- It's kind of a spoiler to talk at length about Chloé's relationship with her own preferences. Suffice it to say, she would be very much opposed to Pride celebrations initially, but may or may not radically change her attitude as her journey goes on. Chloé is a lesbian, cisgender woman. Adrien is a bisexual, cisgender man (with GNC tendencies as he grows up), and Marinette is a bisexual, cisgender woman.

- Nico obviously didn't grow up in an environment conducive to the acceptance of his being gay. I think there's still a lot of internal self-loathing there, even as his boyfriend and his friends have greatly helped to coax him away from it, and that might manifest as his reluctance to participate in Pride celebrations. I think once he's convinced to attend a Pride parade once, though, it would make a world of difference going forward! Nico is a gay, cisgender man.

- Ellie has never given much thought to her own identity or preferences. She's felt attracted to all kinds of people, but never enough to want to act on it. It's possible that she's aro/ace, or somewhere on that spectrum, but even that feels like an ill-fitting piece of clothing. She is fiercely protective of Danny, though; poking fun or attacking him for being trans is a surefire way to make her go all out against you. She'll happily celebrate Pride with Danny and friends, too. Ellie doesn't currently subscribe to any romantic or sexual preference, but does identify as a cisgender woman. Valerie is a bisexual, cisgender woman. Danny is a heterosexual, transgender man.

- Pidge used to comfortably identify as a straight, cis woman, but her stint as Pidge Gunderson and the subsequent massive expansion of her knowledge of gender identities and sexual preferences due to her travels as a Paladin of Voltron have let her more solidly (ironically) identify as genderfluid and pansexual. She'd have a blast teaching Allura and Coran all about Earth Pride celebrations, and I'm sure she's eager to teach the people of Earth just how little they know about what's out there. Pidge is a genderfluid, pansexual individual (identified as female during Close Encounters, but don't let that fool you!).

- Saiyans have a weird relationship with gender and sexual preference. The average Saiyan is mostly free to do and be whatever the f*ck they want in this regard, but there is definitely a culture of male superiority, and a stigma towards trans Saiyan men, specifically - it's seen by traditionalists as "women trying to rise above their station", much in the same way as marrying between Saiyan classes is scorned. Caulifla and Kale don't have that kind of baggage, though, growing up on Xandar - their dithering about being with each other is just your classic awkward teenage romance, nothing to do with their both being women. Caulifla and Kale both identify as lesbian, cisgender women.

- Dipper may be a straight man, but he's the best damned ally you could hope for - fiercely protective of his pansexual twin and bisexual girlfriend. He's got every opposing argument memorized, and a counterargument ready to go - you do not want to debate him, and he will track your ass down if he catches you trolling/hating online. Mabel becomes even more of a living vortex of glitter and gloss during Pride - sweeping away the more muted Tulip, who'll happily settle for a little bisexual flag pin or sticker on her computer. Hard not to find Mabel's enthusiasm infectious, though! Dipper is a heterosexual, cisgender man, Mabel is a pansexual, cisgender woman, and Tulip is a bisexual, cisgender woman.

That was a lot! I hope it was an enjoyable read, though! @the-literary-lord

[nancypullen]

58

Holy cow, how did I get here?  I’m happy to be here, but I may have slept through part of the trip.  Fifty-eight feels a lot like fifty-seven with lighter baggage.  Isn’t that the very best part of aging, the release of things and feelings that don’t serve you?  The things that chew you up inside become less important with each decade. When you figure out that time can be spent being happy instead it’s a very satisfying and liberating process.  I love this season of my life.  Know what else I love? The people in my life!  My tribe is the best.  Calls, messages, cards, so many surprises...and just when I thought it couldn’t get any better - Matt flew in!  Mickey kept making noise about needing to run an errand at 5pm on Friday.  It seemed odd that he kept reminding me of his 5 o’clock task, so of course I started rolling it around in my brain.  I’d already picked up a cake.  I thought perhaps he was getting me a big pumpkin, but that doesn’t seem like a scheduled event.  Maybe he had to wait for someone to get off work so he could pick something up, which made me worry that he was bringing home another cat.  Yikes! Side note: we have another time share cat.  He’s no Willie, but he’s got potential.  He belongs next door but they don’t allow him inside at all (and that’s sad).  We let the wrong cat in one night, now our nights look like this.

Anyway, I convinced myself that he wasn’t out picking up a cat and then I realized that airlines have schedules.  So I called the one person I know who might drop everything and hop on a plane. Matt: Hello? Me:  Where are you??? Matt: Uhhhhh....why? Me:  Are you in Nashville??? Matt:  (P.A. announcement in background)  Um, nooo? Me: OHMYGAWD, YOU ARE!! (lots of whooping and hollering)

Matt:  Crap.  I’m waiting on the curb for Dad to pick me up. Both of us:  hahahahahahahahahahaha! Suffice it to say that my already delightful birthday week was made a thousand times better having Matt home to share it.  We spent a few days laughing and enjoying his visit and I had to take him to the airport on Thursday.  That’s the part I hate. Another source of joy was a package I received just from the grandgirl.  There was a precious tea towel covered in pressings she did of fall leaves and her handprint. Oh, my heart!

She also painted a picture for me.

That long body and all of that business at the top.  You know I was praying it was a tree.  Nope, she had them title it for her.

This is the same three year old who sleeps with a giant stuffed snake that she named Filthy.  I have to get up there and intercept this behavior.  My heart can’t take a lifetime of snake paintings and big blue eyes asking,”Grancy, can we go to the reptile house?”  I shudder just thinking about it.  Still, you know darn well that the cobra picture is hanging in a place of honor.  I’m pretending it’s a tulip. As usual, my family spoiled me rotten and the midwestern Lutheran that lives in my DNA feels unworthy of the fuss.  The rest of me is so humbled and grateful for the wonderful people in my life that make me feel special.

That’s it, my birthday has come and gone and now we’re in OCTOBER!  Yes, yes yes!!  I’ve been bustling around putting out pumpkins and witches and starting my celebration.  I’m pretending that the weather is cooler because I believe that if I build fall, it will come.  Add to those happy activities storytime with the grandgirl (and oh, she is grand!) and a trip to my doctor to get a cortisone shot in the ol’ stanky ankle in preparation for our trip in a couple of weeks.  September always ends in a flurry of fun and it spills right over into October.  Pinch me! Okay, I’m finished with the gushing.  Can’t help it, I’m a happy camper. Meet me back here tomorrow and I’ll share a yummy recipe and a cute Halloween craft.  What more could you want?  Gee, maybe interesting content and better pictures? Don’t answer that. Sending out lots of love.  Stay safe, stay groovy.  XOXO, Nancy

[greensaplinggrace]

omg everything is so intriguing but, Fenris Witcher, Fenders Apocalypse, Anders epistolary and Anders the Healer? For the WIP ask game, please and thank you!

:D thanks so much for the ask!

(Ask me about my WIPs!)

I covered the Witcher Fenris WIP here! XD I don’t have an excerpt to share yet, but I will reveal a bit more about the au.

Both Anders and Fenris have more to their stories than simply being a bard and a Witcher.

For Fenris, his background before joining the order and then during his training with the Witchers features heavily in the way he views the world. His wariness of sorceresses is well known in monster hunting circles, and his tensions with the Lodge come from more than just a healthy fear of magic.

For Anders, his life can be summarily defined by the prejudices the coup on Thanedd brought about. He has more secrets than most in his profession (and bards are known to be vast fonts of untold tales), and his willingness to keep to the shadows and bring others into the spotlight is incredibly telling. Suffice to say, he has issues of his own to deal with.

They both bring to the table more baggage than is probably healthy. But, over time, they somehow come to manage it together.

The Fenders Apocalypse AU is more post apocalyptic than anything.

In a world taken over by a virus of the chantry’s making, abominations run rampant throughout the land. Nobody is quite sure of how the virus came about, only that the Templars, pushing the boundaries of control and cruelty in regards to caging mages, created a drug that backfired spectacularly on the unsuspecting general populace. The end result? A Thedas ravaged by demons. Every elf and human, no matter their status as a mage, prone to the ill effects of an irreversible illness should they be infected.

Queue Fenris, never having met Hawke or the Kirkwall Crew, making his way through a post apocalyptic Thedas blissfully free of company. That is, until he accidentally saves the life of a blonde haired mage.

Shit only gets more chaotic and a lot less lonely from there.

The Circle!Anders Epistolary follows canon in all aspects except one: Anders never escaped the circle a final time.

After his time in solitary confinement, it wasn’t Karl Thekla that got transferred to the Kirkwall Circle, but instead Anders.

The conditions in the Gallows are horrible, and every day it just gets worse and worse. Already recovering from the torture inflicted on him by the Kinloch Circle, Anders is slowly drowning in a hopelessness he can’t seem to escape. So, on a whim, he starts writing letters.

He does it to be heard, not to be responded to. And so he sends them out in secret to the same address, over and over, never expecting a reply or a rescue. Never expecting anything but a listening ear and maybe, impossibly, the knowledge that someone may come to understand.

Little does he know just who is receiving them.

For Anders the Healer, I actually have an excerpt! It’s for a promptfill about Fenris’s lyrium deteriorating after Danarius passes and Anders noticing. He decides to do something about it, ever the healer.

“There’s something wrong with the elf.”

“What?” Sai raises his head from the log he’d been leaning against, hair sleep mussed and eyes half opened. “Who?”

“The grumpy one.” Anders jerks his chin at the top of the hill, the thick rug of grass made silver by the moonlight. Atop it Fenris dances with his sword. His bare skin glistens with sweat, muscles corded and tight - too tight - rippling with every harsh, jagged movement.

Sai stares for a long moment, seemingly hypnotized by the scene.

Anders scowls. “Sai!” he snaps, and the other man jumps, “are you listening?”

“Wh- yeah...yeah.” He shakes his head like a wet dog, a yawn stretching his lips. “Look, Anders, I know you the hate the guy, but-”

Anders cuts him off with a shake of the head. “It’s more than that. Can’t you see it? He’s off - he’s been off for weeks now.”

“Maker, please, it’s barely two in the morning. Why are you even awake?”

“Because there’s something wrong with him, can’t you tell?”

“‘S this about the cliff incident? Because you both swore you’d put that behind you.”

“No, Sai.” Anders sighs. “Nevermind. Go back to sleep.” He almost lets the conversation end right then and there, but then Sai begins to rest his head on the log again and Anders chops a hand through the air. “Nu-uh. Tent. Now.”

“Oh, come on!”

“Now, Sai. I will not treat you for back pain in the morning because you couldn’t move the three feet to your bedroll.” He watches closely as the other mage reluctantly staggers to his feet, narrowing his eyes in warning when he receives a petulant look. “Off with you,” he orders, waiting until Sai’s broad back has disappeared between the flaps of his tent to relax again.

Then he rests his head in his hands and lets out a long, weary breath.

[mrsmaybank]

Gas Station Girl - Spencer Reid x Reader - CH 3

Spencer Reid’s first impression of the Reader is mixed. She’s “audacious, promiscuous, clever, and troubled.” and there is so many things Spencer would like to do about it.

CHAPTER ONE HERE

CHAPTER TWO HERE

A/N:I’m writing a Spencer Reid x Reader multific! The series will be intense and 18+. Age gaps, Explicit sexual content (dom/sub dynamics/kinks), angst, family issues, dark themes including: violence, suicide, murder, death, blood, and drug use and addiction. (Chapters will of course have trigger warnings depending on the content) HIGHLY recommend you listen to the playlist as you read! 

A/N2: This chapter is the most wholesome one in the whole series! Other then the kinky smut LMAO. No for real though, this is as fluffy as it gets. Next chapter gets um... well you’ll see! 

TW: Language, Age gap, use of ‘Little Girl’ as pet name, explicit sexual content (light degradation & unprotected sex), mentions of death, smoking weed, mentions of violence

Fic Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4WYosdR6Tz4y9lsmUghoMU?si=ZvyS_2oqSDW95PxULRs2fQ

The seconds of ignorant bliss after opening your eyes for the first time since a night of horrible decisions didn’t last as long for Y/N anymore. Pains and aches serving a reminder of all the apologies that were owed from her. Instant dread and distaste for confrontation swirled in her stomach. Ah but she deserved it all. The night was blurry, but from recollection, it was only Teddy. He’d dropped her off home, she remembered that. From where? Who knows, but it probably didn’t matter. Teddy’s services didn’t really warrant (nor did Teddy want) a heartfelt, apologetic phone call she decided. Instead a simple, “thx” text sufficed.

She stepped out of her room, pleased with the sight of her roommate rolling a joint on the kitchen table. “Good fucking morning.”  she meant it. The weed would ease the sting of the bruises and busted lip.  

“Morning.” Kena said, licking the joint to seal its precious contents. “What the fuck happened to you last night?” making a face of amusement.

The friends bursted out in laughter in unison.

“Got my ass beat.” Y/N started telling the story as Kena lit the j. “Remember ‘Record Shop’ Dude’?”

“Do I remember? You guys fucked for like a week straight. Thought you guys were gonna get married.” 

“Well,” she couldn’t contain her laughter anymore, “Apparently he has a girlfriend. They’ve been together for three years.” 

Kena passed her the joint laughing, “Apparently.” she watched as her friend inhaled the smoke, “I’ll never understand why you don't fight back every time. I’ve seen your left hook, it’s deathly. It’s like you like getting your ass kicked.” 

Y/N finished the joint, putting it out. “Yeah, I get off. Masochist, remember?” she said in a serious tone. Kena understood the satire of her response. 

“What’re your plans tod-” she was cut off by her phone ringing. She saw the unknown number and smiled putting it on speaker for Kena to hear. “I’m fucking broke!” she shouted as Kena laughed. “You can’t scam me! I don’t have any fucking money to steal!” 

The line went silent and they awaited the confused stutter of some telemarketing con artist. And a confused stutter came. 

“Y/N? It’s Spencer.” he paused, “Spencer Reid?” he paused again. Perhaps she’d forgotten him.  “Dr. Spencer Reid?” 

“I know who you are.”  

Kena looked at her friend in confusion, but she was busy replaying the events of the previous night. Spencer had called Teddy, from the parking lot of a shady...her memory stalled, liquor store. 

“Holy fuck I’m such a piece of garbage.” was the only thing her subconscious could render. 

“I am so fucking sorry. Holy shit. Thank you for last night, dear fuck. I’m sorry about that. And for screaming at you! I didn’t have your number saved.” 

Spencer lightly sighed. She remembered. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?” 

“Uh, great.” she stammered, “I’ve woken up a lot worse.” 

Spencer could hear the slight embarrassment in her voice. “Good, good.” he took a deep breath, “Well I was wondering if maybe I could take you out to lunch? We’ve only ever spoken in parking lots.” 

Kena opened her eyes in delight, mouthing “Yes!”

Y/N couldn’t contain her smile, “I’d like that Dr. Reid. Pick me up at three?” 

“Sure little girl. See you soon.” Spencer hung up and Y/N melted. 

Kena screamed, “You’ve been fucking a doctor?!” 

“No.”  she smiled a devilish grin, “But I’m about to.” she sang, practically skipping with joy back to her room. 

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Spencer hadn’t gotten a good look at the complex in the dark, but now he could see it in its full glory. Beer bottles and cigarette buds littered everywhere, sulky characters loitering at practically every corner, and a reek of marijuana. Not his personal idea of home sweet home. 

He watched as the girl he was waiting for exited from apartment 209, looking just as wild as ever. He wondered if the disheveled look was intentional or if she always looked so crazily hot. His eyes continued to follow as she walked down the steps and into his passenger seat. 

“Hi.” she said, eyes wide and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was blushing. Y/N didn’t seem like the kind of girl to blush. 

“Hey. You look nice.” he started to pull out of the parking space. 

“You don’t have to say that you know. I don’t look nice. I never look nice.” she sighed, “Truthfully I hate the idea of looking nice.” 

Spencer was amused with her little ramble, “Why?” 

“‘Cause nice is what you look like when you’re going to church. Or brunch. And I don’t do either of those.” she said plainly.

“What’s wrong with brunch?” he questioned smiling.  

“Nothing is wrong with brunch.” she paused for a minute, deciding whether or not to tell him all the atrocious memories she had in connection to brunch. He only asked you about fucking brunch. Don’t reveal all your baggage already. Don’t be a dramatic bitch. Just say your vegan or some bullshi-

“What are you contemplating on telling me?” 

Her mouth gaped playfully. “Fucking cut the profiling! Three minutes in and you’re already doing your weird government shit.” she remarked, teasingly defensively. 

Spencer laughed, “Weird government shit? Really?”

“Yeah.” she pursed her lips, “I said what I said.” 

“It’s psychology, not weird government shit. It’s analyzing body language, and speech patterns and-”

“I get it. You’re fucking smart.” They pulled out to a red light. 

“You’re smart too.” 

“Thanks Doctor.” she smiled, it did make her happy to hear that. “So where are you taking me?” 

“You’ll see.”, and see she did. As they got out of the car, Y/N couldn’t stop smiling. At first it was the way Spencer’s hand found hers, but then it was the sight. The restaurant was placed under the biggest trees she’d ever seen, with ivy hanging just a couple feet over her head. It was illuminated with lanterns and tiny hanging lights and she felt like she was in a fairy tale. It was beautiful. 

“Hey Spencer?” 

“Yes?” he said approaching the hostess, “Table for two, Spencer.” His attention shifted back down at her. “This is the prettiest place a boy has ever taken me.”

He smiled, “Yeah? You like it?” The hostess led them to their table and they sat. “A lot.” she giggled and Spencer swore his heart would explode. The sound was just too adorable. 

“So Y/N, where are you from?”

She was a little surprised at the question, almost like nobody had ever asked. Had she ever been on a date? Like a proper sit down date? 

“New York City, originally. But I uh, moved around a lot as a kid.” 

“Tell me about that.” 

“You really wanna know?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he questioned. 

“Okay, fine. I used to live in this beautiful townhouse in Manhattan. I had a pink room with a huge bed and canopy. A gorgeous chandelier, this vanity with all my tiaras, and my dolls! Oh my god, those dolls were so fucking pretty.” he listened intently, relishing in the way her eyes lit up in a way he’d never seen. 

“And then my dad died.” the glint of joy in her eyes was gone. “When I was seven. And we moved to West Virginia, living with my grandmother, until she died!” she let out a small laugh in attempts to keep the mood up. “Then we were living in this mobile park, which wasn’t so bad. Creeps and meth-heads came and went, but overall not a horrible place to grow up. It’s where I met Teddy, you know him.” 

He nodded his head, still listening to every detail of the story. 

“After my mom got remarried, him and I decided we wanted to go to California. This was supposed to just be a pitstop, get our shit together, you know? But we had a falling out, and he went without me. Came back when his brother got cancer. Then after Casey died he came back to D.C, got me to enroll in school with him And uh, now I’m here. I go to Washington Uni, by the way. Major in Journalism.” she ended shyly. 

“I’m sorry about your dad. And your grandma. That’s a story.” 

She nodded her head. “Its okay. Better place, you know?” How about you?” 

“Well, uh, I’m from Las Vegas. It’s been just me and my mom for a while.  My childhood was a little weird, graduated high school when I was twelve, then I-” 

“Hold the fuck up, twelve?” he nodded. “Holy shit. You’re one of those freakishly smart prodigy motherfuckers aren’t you?” 

He laughed, “IQ of 187, not to brag.” 

“Oh fuck you, you’re totally bragging.”

“You got into Washington, you did well in school too.” 

“Yeah uh, despite the shitty childhood school wasn’t really ever an issue. My dad was a Senator, George Y/L/N, in New York. He had a lot of random contacts. When we moved to West Virginia I got to go to some snobby private school ‘cause his friend was a board member. Saint Matilda Preparatory School. Top of my class.” she smiled, “Not to brag.” 

“You’re definitely bragging.” he teased.

Scoffing, she said, “I didn’t drop my IQ number, so you’re still the gloating one here.” 

“I didn’t think you were a high school drop-out.”                                                “Aw Spencer really?” she said sarcastically. 

There waiter came and took their order, but neither of them really cared about the food. They stayed there talking for longer then the restaurant would’ve liked, telling each other their craziest dreams, wildest experiences, bad decisions, and nothing and everything. Before they knew it, the restaurant was kicking them out. They walked back to Spencer’s car, hysterically laughing at the disdained waiter who had to so awkwardly ask them to order something else or leave, Y/N clinging to his arm. 

“Nobody’s ever done something like this for me before.” Y/N said as Spencer got into the drivers seat. 

“What do you mean?” Spencer turned to face her. 

“Picked me up, taken me to a pretty restaurant, paid, opened doors for me.” her eyes locked in his, “Listened to me talk for so long.”

“I could listen to you talk forever.” he grabbed her face and kissed her. The kiss was nothing like he’d expected. It wasn’t an aggressive make-out fired by lust, it was a kiss of passion and dear affection. 

They began to drive in silence. Not uncomfortable Awkward silence, more like enjoying each other's company silence. That is until Y/N did something Spencer should’ve seen coming as this was the same girl he’d met at the gas station. Her hands were inching their way up his leg to his crotch, teasingly slow. She scanned his eyes for some note to stop, but it never came. She palmed him gently through his pants, watching him struggle to keep his eyes on the road, as he twitched under her touch. “Fuck.” he sighed out quietly, “Stop.”

“Take your shoes off, get in the backseat.” he turned off the main road, driving down a more secluded street until he found a tiny spot almost completely hidden by trees.

“Take your clothes off.” he still hadn’t made eye contact with her since telling her she was smart. She did as she was told, taking off her top and shorts as fast as she could. Spencer got out of the driver's seat and got into the back passenger seat, only the middle seat separating them. “Come here.” obeying, she did. In only a bra and underwear, she crawled into Spencer's fully clothed lap, as he grabbed her face and kissed her. Her barely let her move, wanting to be able to explore her mouth freely, She gasped for air, whispering a small “Oh fuck.”

He tightly gripped her jaw, toying with her bottom lip as he spoke, “You have such a dirty mouth.”

She smiled more poisonously then he’d ever seen, it was mischievous and seductive, and it made him crazy. “What’re you gonna do about it sir?”

Now it was him smiling as the small girl looked up at him with big eyes, “So many things.” He started to kiss her again, this time his hands going down to tease her clothed clit. She moaned into the kiss and rocked her hips down harder into his hand. “Please?” she moaned again.

He moved her panties to the side, sliding a finger through her wetness, “You need something don’t you?” She nodded her head.

“Well, use your words.”

“Touch me.” she got closer in his ear, “Please.”

“What’s with the niceties little girl? You don’t want to be touched, no, Good girls like to be touched. You, you are a desperate little slut, hm?” His fingers dipped into her with no warning, curling immediately, “You want to be destroyed.”

Her hips bucked almost instantly as she cried out, “Yes. I do.”

“Beg for it.”

“Sir,” she opened her eyes to lock with his, “Please.” Spencer continued to curl his fingers while still rubbing her clit, and her moans and breathes got sloppier and louder.

“Please!” she whined. “Please sir.” He couldn’t contain a small laugh, “No.”  

“This is a bit pathetic even for you, no? You’re here naked in my lap begging for me to let you come.” She nodded her head. “Oh but I’m sure you’ve done worse haven’t you love?” She shook her head. As badly as he wanted to lecture her about lying, he could feel her tighten on his fingers. “Can..” she stuttered in between moans, “Can I? Please let me come?”

“Awe, good girl asking for permission.” he pulled his fingers out, “No.”

He slipped his fingers in her mouth and watched as she sucked them off. “Figures you’d be good at that.” he unbuckled his belt, pushing his pants and lied back so the door supported his back. “Come sit on it.”

Her eyes opened in delight as she crawled over and did as she was told. He watched in awe as she sunk herself down onto him, clenching as their thighs met. He let her think she had some control, eyes never leaving her as she bounced and moaned. “You’re such a good girl baby.” He could see her teetering right above the edge, and seeing as he was so close as well, he gave in. “Come for me.” and with that, she did. Practically screaming as he fucked up into her through her orgasm, pulling out and finishing himself.

He hugged her into his chest, whispering small praises and delivering soft kisses to her sweaty forehead. She made small circles with her nails on his arms, “I fucked a doctor!” She giggled. 

Spencer broke out into laughter, “I fucked YOU.” 

“We fucked each other.” They laid there for a moment, Y/N practically melting to the feeling of being in his arms. It was too comforting.  

Eventually, Spencer began driving back to her apartment, loving every moment of her outlandish singing and dancing in his passenger seat until he parked to drop her off. 

“You’re a very special girl.” Spencer said as she smiled.

She took a deep breath, “Spencer, I fucking like you. A lot. I can’t remember the last time I had a good time like this that I wasn’t fucking high or drunk or both.” she continued to ramble, “And I guess what I’m just trying to convey is-” 

She was cut off by Spencer crashing his lips to hers. “I know what you mean.”  

She smiled and gave him one last peck on the lips, “I hope I’ll see you soon Dr.” 

“You will.”

As she walked back up the stairs to her apartment, Y/N only had one thought. How am I gonna manage to fuck this up? 

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Taglist (Comment to be added!):  @generaltheoristexpert @psych0crybaby @areallyusellesblog @arctic-duchess

@chevyimpala00067 @georgia4287 @purpleraindrops @drreidshands @must-be-a-weasley-92 @gabbie-is-sad @willowafsi

[dragons-bones]

❌ What kind of things would end any relationship for them? Is there a history behind why these things bother them? Could they ever take someone back despite this? If so or if not, why?

Certainly any abusive behavior (physical, mental, emotional) would end any relationship for Synnove, be it romantic or platonic. Mental and emotional abuse, and emotional neglect, in fact are something she's sensitive to, and she's got a quiet reputation at the Guild as someone to go to discuss situations like that (either one they're experiencing themself or someone they know), how to recognize it, and how to get out of it.

As for the history of Synnove's experience, well. That's easy: Isolde.

No, Synnove is not planning on reconciling with her mother, even if Isolde ever showed genuine contriteness. It's been sixteen, seventeen years since Synnove last 'spoke' to her mother and then stormed out of the Greywolfe home in Ul'dah and she has never regretted it. Angharad raised her, but Isolde's lack of care was a pall that hung over her, and Synnove is not going to forgive that.

(As an aside: Synnove's father Havardr isn't wholly innocent himself, but his neglect never got to the kind of level Isolde's did, and the huge row between Synnove and Isolde was his wake up call that he needed to do better. He put in quite a lot of effort to repair his relationship with his daughter, enough that he was invited to attend Synnove's thesis defense, but they aren't as close as they could have been, and Synnove still holds him a bit at arm's length.)

Another very big Absolutely Not for Synnove is someone downplaying, ignoring, or even outright belittling her love of arcanima and the Arcanists' Guild. The Guild is her home, her lunatic colleagues members of her family, and arcanima is her life's work and passion; Guild is where she learned to spread her wings and assert herself, and arcanima was the path by which she did it.

Isolde did this, on top of all the other things Synnove dealt with. But Synnove also once was in a romantic relationship with the second mate of a merchant ship whose home port was Limsa Lominsa; while the relationship was otherwise happy, the second mate...didn't really seem to understand the depths of Synnove's passion for her work, nor did she ever grasp that the carbuncles were basically people. Eventually, the second mate was offered captaincy of a vessel that was part of a Thavnairian fleet, and she accepted--and assumed Synnove would quit the Guild to move to Thavnair with her.

Suffice to say, Synnove was not amused. They fought, and Synnove summarily ended the relationship, angry at both the assumption she would be willing to give up everything she had built for herself and that her profession and passion wasn't seen as important by her lover.

It's difficult to say whether or not Synnove would rebuild a relationship with someone who so blatantly disregarded such a huge part of her life; obviously with Isolde that's a huge fuck no because of all the other baggage, but with her former lover, perhaps they could have reconciled, but probably not. Synnove made sure that the ship her ex-lover captained was listed as one she should not assess when it came into port due to the conflict of interest, and her ex-lover never made an effort to reach out to her when she was in port, but there were enough things that Synnove realized in hindsight likely meant they were incompatible in the long run. (The fact that her carbuncles never 'spoke' to her ex in anything except animalistic sounds was the biggest red flag, and one she carefully paid attention to going forward.)

These days, Synnove's inner circle of friends and family all readily understand how important arcanima is to her--or have similar depths of obsession for something themself! Stones and glass houses, after all.

[ Jumbo Ask Meme ]

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

two | hard to forget | adam page

↱ authors notes: ↲

Ahhh okay. Here we go. This is going to pick up where Darlin left off, give or take a few days so… if you haven’t read that, you might want to stop everything and go click on the link above and do that.If you think things are getting even SLIGHTLY happier here well... I have some bad news for you. We’re in the angst zone here. We will be for a little longer. So yeah. There’s that.

I am planning on throwing them into an interaction soon, I promise. Just for a little while, it’s gotta stay this way bc they’re both balls of anxiety and stress.

↱ pairing ↲

adam hangman page x ofc! rosalie.

↱ summary↲

Adam and Rosalie shared a night together. A night that neither one of them can forget and yet, neither one of them seem to be able to talk to the other about. Between their own personal issues, backstage gossip and other awkwardness, will they eventually find their way together?

↱ warnings↲

I switch back and forth between first and third person (first=rosalie and third=hangman) and I realize that can be jarring for some, so I thought I’d warn you about that now… Now on to the actual warnings you need to be aware of…slow burn. angst. two stubborn fucking people both going through their own issues. alcohol mentions. probably smut at some point, idk. for now, that’s all I got. OFC has self worth issues and anxiety. FWIW. No, they won’t magically be fixed by the end of this. If you’re here for that, it won’t happen. They won’t dissolve just because the story takes a turn. This shit is something I struggle with, so all of this emotional baggage/etc is being written the way I personally experience it. Everyone’s experiences are different and I realize that. Anyway... That’s all for the warnings.

↱ tag squad↲

If you want to be tagged in my writing, go add your @ to this doc here. If you’re not on there / haven’t told me you want to be tagged, you’re not getting tagged.

@kyleoreillysknee​

@rampagewriting​

@writertoo18​

@thatnerdwriter​

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure​

@chasingeverybreakingwave​

@waywardwrestlewritingwaif​

@sassymox​

@unabashedwrestlefics​

@wardl0w​

@wrestlingthot​

↱ other stuff ↲

[ tag list doc | masterlist | soundtrack to this fic | about page ]

                                                      TWO        

[ Hangman ]

He sat at the bar, staring down into the whiskey glass in front of him. He couldn’t stop going back to what Kenny’s response was earlier. He couldn’t get his head around just how easily it was for Kenny to turn his back on their tag team partnership and yet, if he really thought long and hard about it, he couldn’t blame him either. Taking another long sip of whiskey, Adam sat the glass down on the bartop, his head resting against his hand.

Downtime couldn’t come fast enough this time around. He needed time and space to think. To figure things out. His mind was still frantically holding out hope that there had to be a way to fix the situations he currently found himself in. Both of them.

Because there had to be a way to get Rosalie alone and talk to her. He needed to know if his head or his heart or all the rumors that seemed to be swirling around the back this week were right. He needed some sort of confirmation to move on and try to put what happened between them and his feelings out of his head or not.

At the thought, he found himself scanning the crowded bar, searching for any sign of Rosalie. He spotted her across the bar, crammed into a booth with Sonny Kiss, Swole and Thunder Rosa, her head back in mid-laugh. When the guy in the leather jacket walked past their table and looked her up and down, his breath caught and he knew that it was better if he turned around but for whatever reason, he couldn’t.

He felt the briefest relief when she didn’t even bother looking at the man in the leather jacket, choosing instead to focus on the bottle of tequila in front of her that she was apparently drinking straight from.

He eyed the situation carefully, trying to gauge her current mood. Trying to prove to himself that hooking up with him had been a one-time thing and no, she wasn’t currently beating herself up or losing her mind over what happened like he was lately on top of everything else.

,, People are sayin that night is just somethin’ she does. And I don’t wanna believe that because somethin about it don’t seem right, but it’s not like she’s in a hurry to talk about what happened between us either…” Adam thought to himself, scowling and promptly trying to vanquish the thought from his head by pouring himself another measure of whiskey from the bottle sitting in front of him into his glass.

The older country that had been playing on a jukebox towards the back switched to Five Finger Death Punch and he grumbled to himself, right up to the point in which he saw Rosalie slinking back from the area, the bottle in her hand and a smirk in her face. When she climbed over the back of the booth seat to settle back between Swole and Rosa, he chuckled quietly, shaking his head. “How the hell does she listen to this shit?”

By the fourth round, he nearly had himself convinced to just walk over and talk to her. He kept telling himself he’d do it when her friends left. Then her friends left and he sat there, hesitantly perched on the edge of his stool.

From beside him, MJF spoke up, a taunting laugh as he did so. “Crashed and burned already, hm? From talk backstage, you two were going to be the next it couple. But like usual, you can’t help yourself. You just like to watch the world burn.”

Adam’s fists clenched and he glared at MJF. Then he remembered some of the guy’s past exchanges with her and he rubbed his chin, chuckling quietly. He’d overlook all the other stuff the asshole said that hit a little too head on at the moment.. About him being incapable of just being happy until the world was burning all around him. He chose instead to focus on the fact that obviously, if the guy was sitting here next to him, then the guy hadn’t made all the progress he told anyone in back who would listen that he was making with Rosalie.

“Aw, she shoot you down again, little boy?”

“She’s a teasing bitch. But no. In fact..” Maxwell waved over a bartender and ordered himself a glass of bourbon, “I think I might have figured out a way to break down those so called walls she has. I mean.. I figure as long as I’m not you and I don’t do whatever you apparently did, I have a shot, right?”

Adam leaned in to Maxwell in the blink of an eye. Maxwell gaped as Adam gripped his shirt front and flashed a mean smirk. “Go ahead, little boy. Go right ahead. But I promise you. I swear. If you do one thing to hurt her, I’m gonna kick your damn head off.” 

He let go and settled completely back on the stool, the two men having an intent staredown until Adam tossed wadded cash on the top of the bar and shoved his way out. He needed to get to the sanctuary of his own hotel room.

He needed to think. There had to be some way to fix everything. There had to be. He stubbornly refused to believe there wasn’t. He’d been through worse with the guys before. They were okay.

,, maybe this time you pushed too far, man. And if you don’t do something about the other now, it’s going to eat at you too… But that’s the catch 22… Doing somethin means you might get an answer you don’t wanna hear...that you might not be able to handle right now.” the thought was an unsettling one and it had him punching the wall by the elevator lightly. 

[ ROSALIE ]

“Girl, the man was staring a hole right through you. How much more proof do you need?”

Rosa’s question had me pausing, leaning against the hallway wall as I raised the bottle to my lips and shrugged. Swallowing the tequila, I grimaced at the lazy burn when it crept down my throat. It wasn’t Tito’s, but tonight it would have to suffice. I mulled over what she said. I knew he’d been watching me. I could feel him staring. The thing of it was, every time I got the idea in my head to get up and walk over, I remembered the current rumors going around about me backstage. And I remembered that I have a tendency to make a mess of everything I touch according to most. Or that I’m not and never will be good enough, according to others.

Yeah, maybe it’s stupid, but… Maybe this is just one of those things that’s better left untouched. Besides, the guy probably thinks I’m a whore now, I mean… I’ve heard the rumors. I’ve heard them and if I didn’t know myself better? I’d think I was a whore.

Pretty sure Maxwell’s been stirring around in shit because I won’t just crawl into bed with him. He wants me to have no other option. And if he thinks even remotely I won’t just die alone before letting it, he’s a goddamn fool.

“It’s not that easy, Rosa.” I finally answered, taking another long pull from the bottle in my hand. Letting my head rest against the wall. I was dizzy and tipsy and yet... I wasn’t numb. I hadn’t magically forgotten everything that’s always on my mind and any of the newest invasive thoughts that had cropped up lately either. 

Brains should come with an on/off reset feature. You don’t like your mind one day? Reset button. It’d be one hell of a lot easier than being stuck with all the doubt and loathing and irrational fears and invasive thoughts.

“It is! All you have to do is walk over, sit down and talk to the guy.” Rosa insisted.

I eyed her and laughed. “After the shit Maxwell’s been saying this week? I don’t see that going well. He probably believes it all like everyone else. I mean hey… The upside of this whole shit-show is that if I get lonely, I have plenty of offers. Only for one night because naturally..” I trailed off, shaking my head. No, nope.. I was going to bind my legs if I had to. Not even going to consider meeting a guy at a bar and taking him back to my room anymore because whew boy... Did this whole rumor going around about me really make me stop and think. And I didn’t want to be seen as that kind of girl. ,, even though there’s not a goddamn thing wrong with enjoying life and you don’t owe anyone a goddamn thing. christ, you’re pathetic. a real dumpster fire, rosalie.”  the thought came and I shoved it out, wincing at it’s invasive brutality.

“But none of them are the one you want. God, you’re so fucking stubborn.” Rosa grumbled, the back of her head hitting the wall behind us lightly as she sank down to sit beside me. I laughed a little and I couldn’t tell whether it was the tequila in my hands or the absurdity of this entire situation that would literally be so much easier if I were anyone but me right now. If I had better confidence. If I dared to believe or hope that I could have a great guy that I truly loved without that guy merely settling because I was there and made myself available like I used to all the time.

Like I did that one night I had Adam Page. It had been so easy to fall back into old habits, natural as breathing. That in itself had me terrified.

“I picked one hell of a year to quit smoking.” I groaned quietly, letting my head butt back against the wall as I laughed and sat there, trying to imagine every single scenario that might arise if I did just talk to him about that night.

But when all your mind will cook up are the bad ones. The absolute worst of the worst. You see my problem, yes?

I couldn’t be the first to say something. I knew for a fact I couldn’t take hearing him casually dismiss our night as a one-time thing. I couldn’t take him saying what I’ve heard so much now that it’s ingrained in me deep and keeps me doubting myself at least eighty-five percent of the time. I couldn’t take a risk and have him turn out to be just like the rest.

But I knew at the same time that sooner or later... somehow.. I was going to crack. Because as much as I feared the worst, I couldn’t keep sitting on any of this either.

[wackygoofball]

Gwenspiration: The Wacky Version Vol. 3 - The Moodboards

So, here I go again parading myself and tooting like there is no tomorrow.

As people still brave enough to follow me on Tumblr will know, I do a lot of moodboards, or at least I call them such. Others call them collages or storyboards or pictures with random text. Either way, for me, moodboards became a neat tool to somehow capture story ideas not yet anywhere near a level that I could write fic about them - or serve as inspirations for fics I am actually writing.

And it gives me opportunity to hoard unhealthy amounts of Gwen and Nik pics, in the name of moodboards. And science. And stuff. Whoozah!

So yeah, in this post, I want to share some of my personal favorites. A lot of them actually, because I can’t decide, really.

I will start off with a group of moodboards which took inspiration from the Marvel universe, since the Marvel universe was my gateway into the more active parts of fandom.

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An all-time fave is the Iron Man AU... I mean, what not to love about a JB AU with Jaime as sassy Tony Stark and Brienne as the not-taking any shit from you army doctor, am I right? But yeah, seriously, Jaime *is* the Tony Stark of the GOT universe, and I can’t be convinced otherwise. And neither should be you.

Also, the Iron Man suits just totally fit the color scheme for both, which made creating the moodboards all the better for me. Jaime and Brienne were made for armor, now in medieval or modern times, let’s not kid ourselves.

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Another Marvel fave has got to be Captain Westeros. Because if there is a female GOT Version of Steve Rogers, it’s gotta be Brienne of fuckin’ Tarth. This one is really close to my heart because it gave me a lot of feels coming up with plot bunnies for it, and the tragedy of those two people missing each other in time over and over again, always trying to protect one another, only to end up on opposite sides because of the machinations of others... *sigh*

And I mean, one guy loses an arm. The other is blond and strong... I don’t make the rules but this delivers me enough material to re-imagine this as a JB AU... so yeah, I do kinda make the rules after all. Anyway.

Since I realized that this post’s gonna get even looooonger, I decided to make a cut here and put the rest below, so not to have you scrolling for five hours.

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Although it’s not the most popular moodboard amongst my followers (you brave people, I can’t parade you enough for staying through the madness lol), I really, really love that Fantastic Four moodboard and the concept behind it. And I just know a lot of effort went into making Valyrian Steel Brienne, which took all of my three computer editing skillz brain cells. But yeah, here again, I liked to play with the idea of them not admitting to their love until shit hits the fan and then they hide behind that because... drama, angst, feels, pining, yadda.

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And we go from Marvel to DC little quick. Because Brienne is, most certainly, a Wonder Woman. Nuf said.

Now, let’s move on to other big movie franchises that give me all the JB feels:

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Jurassic Park (aka Valyrian Park) evidently holds a special place in my heart because JB fighting dinosaur-dragon hybrids and kicking ass while being disbelieving about what was bred out in Valyria thanks to some certain someones to rescue Brienne’s adoptive daughter Arya is just... a thing? For me anyway.

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More down memory lane, I don’t know how often I watched the LOTR movies, suffice to say it was a lot a lot. We had the extended versions DVDs of the first two and basically it was the one thing to watch when nothing was on (which was the case a lot). Either way. JB in MIddle Earth long after the days of Frodo et al. - why? Because I just loved the idea (and aesthetic) of Jaime as a ranger and Brienne as a knight of Gondor working in disguise. And Hobbipod. I mean, Pod as a Hobbit. Come the fuck on. And Tyrion as an asshole wizard. What could possibly go wrong? This moodboard was very time-consuming as I had to do a lot of edits (pointy ears, tiny up people, smudge Brienne’s face on a lot of Boromir and Faramir images, smudge Jaime’s face on a lot of Aragorn images, you name it). So yeah. No matter its popularity... I dig it. Despite not having read the books yet (I know, shocking), I continue to ogle at the idea and go like: Must. Write. But. Must. Resist. Either way. Mood.

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So yeah, I grew up watching these movies a lot, too (I grew up watching a lot of TV, period). And when Gwen was cast as Captain Phasma, I got a lot of JB juices flowing as a result. Mehe. I found it was a fun idea to play with, to basically *kill* Phasma so *Brienne* can come into play and assume her identity. And a rundown Jedi!Jaime who’s lost faith in himself and everything else safe for his partner in crime/resistance is just... I needz. So you gotta cope with it. I still adore this concept a lot even if others may not. :)

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This one’s just... gah. Feels. And I really liked the color scheme lol. And I watched Horse Whisperer A LOT. Because of feels. And horses. And Honor is a horse and he deserved better than be barbecued at Highgarden, dammit.

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The No Reservations AU definitely has to be in this post because I live for this dynamic. Brienne taking care of the girls, not knowing how, though, constantly doubting herself while always trying to be perfect and composed, not just in life but on the job as well. And Jaime being the laid-back guy who’s just a darn good chef but may carry his own baggage of problems that keep him from his happy ending story is just... mah jam.

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This one was a lot of fun to do because you don’t really think about Erin Brockovich when you say Brienne of Tarth in terms of character. But when you scratch away the boob jokes and the differences in where they come from, what you find are two hard-working women who fight for justice, so I found that close enough. And it was excuse enough for me to go down the lane of biker!Jaime because... dayum.

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Music and Lyrics is an all-time guilty pleasure romcom of mine. It’s so light and easy and I kind of love how everyone is basically a bunch of awkward losers. All the more perfect for Jaime as a singer (we need that in our lives after the infamous video Nik was in to sing to us about global warming...) and Brienne as the unexpectedly gifted songwriter. What I like about the moodboard per se is how the color scheme turned out because it’s all warm and bright and... makes me happy.

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Very much in contrast to the former stands this one. I still love the overall mood of it and I dig the story idea because I dug both The Prestige and The Illustionist because they presented something dark yet very different, which made it all the more appealing to put into a moodboard for me. While not the most well-known moodboard of mine, I keep going back to it time and time again to basically lust at all the illusions and magic and drama. And blue butterflies.

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What is there not to love about a Pacific Rim AU for JB, am I right? Right?! JB ain’t just compatible when it comes to the Drift, yo, that’s all I’m gonna say. Reasons why I like the moodboard a lot is that it’s very different, flashy colors, gigantic robots, and I was mostly alright with how the edits turned out. It is tough to get images that fit the angles, yo.

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Jumping back in time once more, I really adore this one even though it’s not one of my popular moodboards. I dug the fusion of elements from Cinderella Man while granting Brienne as the female lead more space to develop as a character and make her a badass sniper nurse who is about to get her doctor’s degree. And Jaime doing anything to make it work because he owes her a debt (and his love) by boxing his way to their shared life is just... nice.

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Another supposedly lesser known moodboard is this one, though I really adore it for its premise and the amount of work I put into it (all the giffing and moodboarding). I also found use for that image of Gwen with what looks like the veil of a nun, which was probably what had me inspired in the first place lol. The plot bunnies revolve less around Se7en and more the novel El ùltimo Catón (2001) because it has a nun solving a mystery revolving around Dante’s works. But Se7en gives us the Seven, which is a delicious parallel too hard to ignore. For me at least. If only I knew how to write crime, dammit.

Now, to  move more into the serial (smooth transition from serial killer to serial TV shows, I know, I know) way of life, here is some moodboards inspired by TV shows (although some have since gotten movies which I also took inspiration from... yadda):

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Childhood memory galore. I spent many weekends watching The A-Team with the whole family. When the movie came out, I was happy about the feels it gave me (and the “you spin my head right round” scene still cracks me up more often than it should). Either way. I found it absolutely necessary for Jaime to be Face, for Tyrion to be Hannibal, for Bronn to be B.A. and cuss at everyone and everything and Brienne giving us the strangest genderbend of a Howling Mad Murdock. It added some angst, which I always need because I am a thirsty hoe for it. In case no one noticed yet. Ha.

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This one is very remotely inspired by The Bletchley Circle and the Imitation Game (because both feature encryption and one features Charles Dance already, yo.) I just really dug the idea of Brienne being so good at this because she is such a straight thinker but being underestimated because “she a woman.” And of course her not being done just encoding messages but getting into action, very much to the dismay of the stupid soldier wanting to defend the bae from harm. What could possibly go wrong? Right. A lot.

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Then. Elementary. Let me count the ways in which I love that show... ALL THE WAYS. And I really dig it as a JB AU. I have so many thoughts and feelings, I can’t even begin to tell you. I especially had my fun basically making Jaime Sherlock without making him really Sherlock because that guy was the one who taught him how to be an investigator before disappearing and fucking up his life for bad. And Brienne as the army doctor turned sober companion turned private investigator turned love interest is just too delicious to ignore.

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Pants down I mean hands down, this may be the actual favorite (currently) amongst them all for the plain reason that I also grew up watching that series and still watch it and keep obsessing about it. Ever since Discovery launched and has since given me both joy and grief, I found myself intrigued by the premise of a JB Star Trek AU where Brienne would be standing *with* the Klingons during the war around the time Discovery takes place, and Captain Jaime Lannister having lost far too much to this war already to truly trust anyone, even less so a woman who ran to the Klingons, for what it seems.

You would not believe how many ideas I have for a fic based on it. You wouldn’t believe that I basically have a sequel to that fic already in mind. And you would definitely believe, knowing me, that I am nowhere near writing that fic. But a fangirl can dream and moodboard, right? The moodboard was such a fun way of going about it, not only for the edits but because I could sneak some secret Klingon messages in there. :)

Now, on to the last part, which are the moodboards not inspired by movies or TV shows primarily but really just spewed out of my wacky, wacky brain:

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This has a special place in my heart because it combines military and the traumas it comes with for JB and.... the aesthetic of farming. And both finding a kind of peace they didn’t know they were looking for as they struggle to adjust and find their way back “to normal” after the horrors they have both seen in war. And did I mention the aesthetic? And Jaime in plaid? All dirty and sweaty? Do I have to say more?

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Why this one? Because it combines angst and romance and falling in love twice because DESTINY. And paintings. I love me my artist AUs. So that was my go at it, combining it with the “mystery” to be uncovered about what history Jaime and Brienne actually share as he tries to put his memories back together.  Also. This moodboard gave me opportunity to try out new filters and create JB paintings. :)

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This one’s gotta be on the list since I also added the Horse Whisperer. Now it’s Dog Whisperer Jaime and Brienne who won’t give up on her dog who’s seen some shit in the warzone (as did she, but Brienne will put it all aside for her doggish best buddy, of course). While it’s not a very popular moodboard of mine, I really enjoy the premise of it and how the dynamics can so easily change between the two of them if you see it in comparison to the Horse Whisperer AU. Also. I just really think Jaime is a total pet person.

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Another lesser known moodboard, I’d assume, but I really dug the premise of it (still do), and it was intriguing to do some edits to make Jaime’s hand *truly* golden lol. With people having developed strange mutations which aren’t nearly as much fun as they are in Fantastic Four AUs. What I liked about it was the idea that Brienne would have a kind of mutation/ability that links to the mind, since she is such a physically strong fighter that she may rather rely on that than on her own mind, fearing that she cannot control that with discipline the same way she can train her body with it. What unites the two is their strong wish to protect the people in their care, in a world on the verge of collapse forcing two unexpected allies together (okay, I totally expected it, but they didn’t). Either way. Much love for this one. :)

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Aaaand the last one (not of all the ones I made but the ones I picked for Gwenspiration). I really, really, really adore this one because I was so happy with how the aesthetic turned out and how the colors all match. And I dig the premise. Like holy moly do I dig it deep. Jaime and Brienne both serving in military, but on different fronts, and almost accidentally ending up writing each other letters? I mean... the PINING. And Brienne having to decipher Jaime’s chickenscratch. Yeah no, but for real. I just love the idea so much. That they are both committed to the cause while also yearning for a home, for peaceful times, for sweet, sweet love. And them meeting up and acting like stupid teenagers, only for drama to keep hitting because. It’s eh me angsty Wacky.

Either way. I dig the premises of a lot of my moodboards (in fact... basically all of them or else I wouldn’t be making them, I guess). I spared you listing all of them, though I listed a whole damn lot already. Moodboards are an awesome means for me personally to visualize and (re-)imagine. And since quite a few people seem to continue to be onboard with them, I am all the happier to keep making them.

That’s all for today.

Much love! ♥♥♥

*flies away*