#suicide of a superpower

[lightman2120]

Come fast, Lord Jesus.

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

SUMMARY: Scanners are men and women born with incredible telepathic and telekinetic powers. There are many who exercise the benefits of their special gifts in a safe and judicious manner. However, there is a group of renegade scanners who plan to create a race that will rule the world.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

catra said that when she was chipped by prime. there's a high chance adora thought that was just prime manipulating her.

“you broke my heart” isn't a purely romantic sentiment.

why tf should adora think that catra loves after catra spent all this time trying to kill adora? after catra said that the world would be better if adora had never come through the portal? after catra physically and psychologically abused adora and pushed her towards self-deprecation and even suicidal thoughts at several points?

[ask-ciaphas-cain]

Honestly that feels like a challenge. Like, there is a swarmlord between you and Jurgen. Your only weapons are a lasgun with a bayonet and a depleted power cell, a shovel, and a messkit. Standard manufactorum terrain. How do you avoid using a bayonet charge?

(This is tongue in cheek, and you are not obligated to answer.)

"I believe you are forgetting two very important details." He leans forward over his desk. "Jurgen is not an idiot. And he carries a melta gun." He lets the moment linger before leaning back.

"Besides, we are both capable of running, and a swarmlord can be confused for a second if you throw something at it that it needs to block. Don't ask me how I know that. This scenario does not require either of us to commit suicide by Tyranid. Now, if you are still interested in strategy, I suggest you look into joining the officer corps to learn more about outmaneuvering a larger opponent. You're dismissed."

[toastsnaffler]

coming to terms with having adhd is like wow so my brain has been broken all my fucking life and always will be. and when I felt like everything was unfair + more difficult for me than everyone else thats because it is actually. and it will always be like this forever. hope that helps 👍

[daz4i]

one thing about me is when i go to escape rooms i will always solve things on accident. clicking random buttons and happening to find the right code. pulling things out of narrow holes instead of opening the locks that block the way. these sorts of things. but the funniest one that happened to me is we had a screwdriver and there was an electrical socket thingie that seemed to be sealed, so naturally i kept joking that we should shove the screwdriver in there. anyway we got stuck and the guy helping out was like "so earlier this person said something about putting the screwdriver in the socket-" which as you may understand was the solution to that puzzle, and to this day I'm still chasing that high

[peroxideprinces]

my sister n i were talkin last week n we came to the conclusion that kendall would probably try to kill himself this season but . here i am . watchin this new ep . and im not so sure we pegged the right brother anymore bcccc

[wizardnuke]

sorry boss I can't come in for a few hours today because I've been inflicted w my monthly case of bitch disease and might start to cry if the store music is too loud or something

[coralloid]

staring at pictures of my cat so i don't think about kms :3

[regallibellbright]

Chapter 3: In which Sanae reports on the situation, Neku and friends are up to things, Joshua has a significant trip to Hachiko, and then everything blows up.

CW for depression, references to suicide, dissociation

[writedisaster]

tw: discussions of suicide, suicidality

        In Lip’s superpower verse, they’re not a hero.  And they don’t want to be a hero.  Their powers don’t go well with heroism anyways- they have 0 edge in combat (and hate fighting anyways!) or natural disaster situations.  True, someone with their powers could do valuable intel work for a larger team... but Lip has zero interest in working with some goddamn superhero team, and even less interest in being a professional narc.  They just want to be normal, mostly.  They don’t need heroics in their life.

        But sometimes their insight gives them the opportunity to intervene for other people in more mundane ways. Sometimes this is as simple as extricating someone from an active creep situation.  Other times...

        Lip always knows when someone around them is suicidal with a plan.  Not that they go looking for that information, but that kind of desire tends to go straight to the top of their awareness, even in a crowd.  And they will always try to talk to anyone with a plan, even a total stranger.

        They’re not trained in mental health intervention.  They don’t always know the exact right things to say.  But they’ve been the key variable in someone else’s “if even one person talks to me on the way to the bridge / train tracks / whatever, I’ll go back home” more than once.  They’ve sat and talked with strangers for hours until the stranger felt ready to reach out to someone else.  They’ve stayed up with their friends all night, taken their knives, their razors, their pencil sharpeners, their keys.

        Of course, that isn’t always enough.  There’s at least one person Lip knew was in danger but couldn’t keep safe.  They try not to blame themself.  They try not to think about it.  They try.

        It’s also genuinely not safe for them personally to be around anyone with a plan.  Not just in a burnout or vicarious trauma way- with the nature of their powers, other people’s desires are literally beamed directly into Lip’s head like they were Lip’s own.  Which is often problematic, but especially so with suicidal desires.  So far, Lip’s never succumbed to anyone else’s drive to die, but it messes them up good every time.  Rather than motivating them to get away from the source of the desire, though, it seems to entangle them more in caring about those people. A selfish sort of selflessness: if they can help the random joe at the train stop survive this, then they know they can survive this.  Right?

        But anyways.  Yeah.  Super bad for their mental health, even when no one dies.  It’s good to be able to help!  Sometimes it’s even exciting!  Sometimes it even makes them happy for a little while.  But after the other person’s crisis has passed, the images of the plans still stick around in Lip’s head.  Those images come back sometimes, when Lip is alone, when the thoughts couldn’t possibly be anyone else’s.  They have no idea how much of it is every crisis case they’ve ever met and how much of it is really and truly just themself.

        But they try not to think about that.

       They try.

[raan-miir-tah]

Kyle Higgins didn’t just come in swinging he came in with a GUN and shot me DEAD this is issue #3 and I was already crying over Nathan

[vimbry]

"deedee and dexter" is so similar to the second part of the refrain in "youth culture killed my dog" it's so hard not to veer into the other when thinking about it

[dreamquestofunknownkadath]

Auditory shit makes me want to kms soooooooo bad ahahah

Crying and shaking and screaming because I heard a Bad Sound once

[the-writingbox]

WIP

This is for my Series “Ain't No Crying 'till the War's done”; The series is non-linear & just a bunch of one-shots.

A/n This is just hurt/comfort with brotherly disc duo & not beta’d so have fun with all my mistakes. Also Superpowers are called enchantments & Tommy is 16

Relationship: Platonic brotherly Tommy & Dream (NOT A SHIP) Content warning: Discussion of Minor Character, discussion of death, Survivor’s gulit, (Tommy) implied  suicidal ideation, mentions of natural disasters

Summary:  After a bad mission, Tommy has a nightmare. Thankfully Dream is number two hero Cryptid

Tommy woke quickly up in his large apartment in the big bed with soft sheets and blankets, more than big enough for a teenager his size. Could fit 3 other people & it would still be comfortable. If three people would ever come to his apartment. But those people didn’t exist, Tommy didn’t let them exist. Don’t get distacted from your goal

He slowly but surely moves from the too big bed over to his bathroom. He splashes some water in his face then looks up at the mirror. It shows what remains of the nightmare’s origins. Bandages covering his body at seemingly random, there are also leftover burn marks, small bruises and meaningless small cuts.

Two disasters at once, a medium sized fire & a building collapsed. In the end 34 people were injured, 13 people were fatally injured, 6 people died.

His failures are reflected back at him. He lived. Not that Tommy had much to live for or much of a life to live. But they were people with lives that had so much more to their life. More life than Tommy would ever be allowed to live.

As Theseus maybe there is a bit more but Tommy isn’t Theseus.

The supposed prodigy that is hypothetically living the life that many young adults could only dream of. Theseus is the one who is friends with Warden, Dream, Firestorm & REM. (Or  Sam, Dream, Sapnap & George.) Theseus is the one who works himself into the ground day in & day out to be the best hero he can be.

Theseus has a promising hero career in front of him.

But Tommy isn’t Theseus.

[catboybiologist]

About to fall asleep ramble time, this has been kicking around in my brain for a bit and I need to get some form of this thought out

I was diagnosed with ADHD and gender dysphoria one day after the other back in August. Extremely stereotypically zillenial of me, I know. Handling both of these has dramatically improved my quality of life. yes yes insert discourse about how much you need to have dysphoria as a diagnosis, it's just a tool for the medical system that's ultimately meaningless, that's not what this is about.

There's one thing that was really, really weird about the experience of getting care for both of these.

Most treatment and public talk of transition and motivations to transition are about misery. How much despair your birth sex gives you and how gender affirming care is the only stopgap against suicide (oftentimes, used as a barrier to entry that it should only be given when it's at the suicidal point). How crushing dysphoria is.

In contrast, most of the public perception of ADHD is this cutesy, "omg look I'm so quirky" kind of thing. People talk of ADHD "superpowers" and how neat it is to have hyperfixations (I'm low key starting to dislike that word, even though it's an accurate description of many things- it's very overused).

My actual experience has been almost exactly the opposite.

I absolutely had gender dysphoria, and still do, and misery associated with being AMAB. But is that what defines my trans experience? No, and in fact, it feels like a more incidental blip in it. My trans experience has mostly been defined by joy, by feeling my mind and body slowly make me more and more content with my default existence day after day. And the exploration of it all! The social roles, the romantic dynamics, the friendship dynamics, even small aesthetics like clothes and makeup, and again, the body and mood changes. It's incredible and it brings me joy so much of the time. That, more than anything, has defined my trans experience.

In contrast.... ADHD has objectively made nearly every aspect of my life more miserable. Working with my therapist and my pysch, as well as feeling what it's like to be properly medicated, have shown me extremely well how much the constant feelings of misery I always seemed to have were caused by ADHD. ADHD means being unable to receive a baseline level of dopamine to function under normal circumstances, so your brain starts looking for any way it can get new sources. And wouldn't ya know it, novel stimuli are a perfect way to do that. Keep in mind that dopamine isn't just "the pleasure molecule" it's a neurotransmitter with a broad range of functions. If you don't have ADHD, or even if you do, I want you to think about how miserable of an existence that is. Your default state is depression and inability to do things. It has been for me for most of my life. Additionally, anxieties creep into your head and distract you far more easily. You're less functional. You can't do simple things most of the time. You're distracted and have anxiety spikes easily. Continuous tasks are hard. And day in, day out... You are miserable. Almost constantly.

Oh also, you're easily addicted to extreme novel stimuli. For me, it was self harm. And when that stopped working... Well, I was in a state of mostly background depression that was only punctuated by spikes of massive, overwhelming anxiety that my brain hooked itself on. At a certain point, I just wanted it to end, by any means necessary.

It's been almost ten years since that day, and at this point I can genuinely say that I'm glad I'm still here.

But it wasn't dysphoria that did that (it contributed a bit, but still wasn't the biggest factor). Or a depressive disorder. Or bipolar. Or whatever the big, more "scary" mental illnesses or neurodivergencies are. They tried to treat me for some of them, and it ended horribly. My symptoms fit mixed presentation ADHD perfectly, including my physiological response to stimulants. They don't fit anything else. I likely don't have any strong comorbidities, unless you count the symptom-level anxiety and depression. ADHD did all of that to me. The "cute and quirky" one.

By the time I got around to a diagnosis, my pysch was astounded that I made it as far as I did with symptoms as severe as mine. Tackling ADHD has removed so much misery from my life, it's indescribable. Adderall has been the only thing that has ever actually gotten rid of my constant anxiety.

It's not fucking cute. Keeping with this being the flip side to my dysphoria, I do try to keep it light most of the time, and I join in on all of the classic "whoopsie doopsie my ADHD" trains and jokes. You don't have to stop making those, hell, they're fun. There are cute and funny parts to having ADHD, and ways it's made my personality what it is. But don't forget that this is also something that makes people genuinely suffer well beyond the "oopsie I'm such a procrastinator!!!" Type thing.

Idk where this thought is going. It's just kind of an observation that's been kicking around in my head for a bit. So uh. Hope it at least generates discussion? Feel free to add your experiences if you think it'll help you. But fuck I need to sleep lol