#sunday accountability post

[biowaredisasterbisexual]

Shameless Self-Promotion Saturday Sunday/Sunday Accountability Post

Thanks so much for the tags, @the-sparrohawk and @basedonconjecture!

This was…not my most productive week, admittedly. I’m still coming off the jubilation/crash of having finished:

Getting Into Trouble

My darlings, my babies, my collection of Neve/Rook one-shots that hauled me out of fandom retirement. Love these dorks.

But I’m not done with them yet! I did some light editing this week, mostly on The Ventus Job, but I also wrote a bit more of it. I use Sunday as a self-imposed deadline to post something I wrote in the prior week, tricking my ADHD into letting me a little productive. So I’m being efficient and using this post for that accountability check too!

So, the rough draft (unedited and unbeta’d) opening to the chapter of TVJ I’m currently working on below the cut.

And very gentle tags, if you haven’t already done it, tooooooo: @hyperions-light, @ofcrowsanddragons, @bygonesigh, @mageofquandrix, @dymme, @thedissonantverses, @jouskaroo, @mythals-whore, @davrinsleftpectoral, @skullypettibone, @uchidachi, @galluslonging, @littlemissgeek8, @thatgaymerguyb, @corvus-frugilegus, and @lurkiestvoid, and whoever reads this and wants to!

The Imperator’s manor loomed large in its place atop a hill in Hightown, the rounded spires and forms a testament not only to the building’s place of importance but Ventus’ history as a capital in its own right. The manor itself was surrounded by a large wall, one that unlike others she’d seen in town, Neve noticed no damage to. Either the Antaam had not made it this far into the city’s gates when they’d taken Ventus, or the good Imperator had prioritized using the city’s building materials for aesthetic rehabilitation of the estate over, perhaps, more necessary purposes.

Neve didn’t think it was all that hard to discern which option was likely the correct one.

“Oooh, the light shows!” Sabine said, sounding pleased for possibly the first time since Neve had met her. Back at the inn, the closest any of them had managed was her neutral acceptance of their attire and comportment.

The lights danced across the darkening sky in intricate patterns, timed to the music being played in the courtyard. A favored form of entertainment in the Imperium, and one that allowed the Imperator to ostentatiously present his wealth.

Because, obviously, the well-lit and massive manor on the hill, not to mention his title, would be insufficient otherwise.

“Panem et circenses,” Rook murmured under his breath in Old Tevene. She glanced at him curiously, and he shrugged. “My dad said that every time we went to one of these things. He wasn’t wrong.”

He opened his mouth to continue, but hesitated as they passed the armed mercenaries flanking the estate’s gates. “But a story for another time, I guess,” he said wryly.

The courtyard as they entered was filled with people milling about, enjoying the lights and music while drinking wine and — if she and Rook were lucky, which wasn’t a given — hopefully gossiping as the alcohol loosened their tongues. Most of the attendees wore fashionable robes in latest styles in favor with the Altus class — expensive brocade with glimmering gold dominated the Altus’ custom robes — even the handful of wealthy Laetans and Soporati, who tried to emulate the more expensive attire with similar cuts and fabrics that could possibly fool the uninitiated. But, of course, every Altus was not fooled in the least. Neve knew her Altus classmates at the Circle had been able to pick out fabric quality at twenty paces; they’d surely honed their expertise in the exercise since. And, true to form, distinct groups of attendees were forming along the fabric class divide. The only exceptions to the effort to woo friends and intimidate enemies through dress were the few military officers in formal uniforms, who at least pretended to neither notice nor care.

“Y’know, I don’t get to feel like a show dog or charity case often these days, but this really does take me back,” Rook sighed with feigned wistfulness. Neve snickered, while Sabine elbowed him and glared.

“Remember what I said about you embarrassing me,” she hissed.

He gave her a smile that was the picture of innocence. “To only do it if it upsets your father or brother?”

“No! Not to— well, actually, if the opportunity arises…”

On Neve’s other side, Livinia snorted.

[duckprintspress]

In light of current events and yesterday's inauguration, I want to reiterate:

I won't be going anywhere.

Duck Prints Press will continue to publish books.

We will keep amplifying LGBTQIA+ voices.

We will keep publishing kink and porn.

I will fight for these stories to exist to my last breath.

[peeporoon]

tweet / art used

[10yrratiolover]

[peachducy]

Sycamore Sunday Doodle Dump Baby !!!!!!!!!

layton spoilers below cut

transgender hershels 👇

puzzle deficiency

doodles from/ inspired by this fic

thabk you for joining me this sycamore sunday everybody

[aro-culture-is]

Questioning aro culture is am I actually aro? Maybe I just have commitment issues? But i don't see the appeal of being in a romantic relationship so maybe I am? But the thought of being in any kind of intimate relationship makes me anxious so maybe I am just emotionally unavaliable and i should work on that? Why is it so difficult to understand myself?!

(Someone please help me)

I would avoid phrasing it as "making you [anxious, mad, etc]", due to having a therapist sister who regularly goes on rants about how important it is to own your own emotions, ie, "I feel anxious about this", not "[they, the emotions] make me feel...". some things I'd recommend asking yourself, privately, and without judgement:

"Am I afraid because I am used to feeling unsafe/insecure/unwanted in relationships, and safety is not familiar? If so, how might I practice feeling familiar in safety? How might I practice making my unsafe relationships less unsafe, or less frequently encountered? Who might be able to help keep me accountable to these plans? Can I start writing/journaling about this process to see my progress and avoid doubting myself when that happens?"

And note, when I say "without judgement", I mean like. It's okay if you feel like you should feel safe but don't. That's just an observation. It's okay if you feel a way, and it's okay if you feel bad for feeling that way, and you don't need to ruminate on it. You can write that down, and you can give yourself permission to move on to the next question or thought. It's okay.

You don't need to interrogate yourself. Often, especially if you don't have a lot of safe or healthy relationships (a common component in folks who are nervous of intimate relationships of all kinds) you are taught to be the first cruel voice, to shut down any thoughts less safe individuals might not appreciate, and learning to stop doing that is a part of the healing process. Your thoughts, emotions, and actions influence each other, but they are different. Thinking and feeling are not actions, and it's okay to recognize that maybe acting on them is not polite, but you don't have to do that! They don't control you. You simply are thinking or feeling that way. "I feel, I think" - not "it made me so angry I..."

Things will get better. Healing is not linear, and you will have both improvements and setbacks, and that is normal and okay. As you examine what safe relationships feel like, I think that will help settle what relationships you do like and want for yourself.

[sundayglazer]

Do you ever think about how Sunday’s inate kindness and empathy did end up actually leading to his direct harm of a lot of people.

While being groomed from a young age to fall into a specific mindset to realize the will of Gopher Wood I thing to emphasize here is that what Sunday wanted above all was a place with no suffering.

But since he has been force fed very specific and filtered perspectives all of his life, it all served to reinforce that jaded, nihilistic belief that humans will always seek paths that hurt them in the end in some sort of doomed cosmic masochism with no reward or choice to opt out.

I can’t imagine it was easy for him, being as self aware and mature as he was , he wasn’t like that when he was a kid, and we see that! He’s always prioritized others, but he was still the more sensitive, emotional and trusting between him and Robin! While she is undoubtedly amazing and I love her dearly, she is much more of a realist , but also an optimist in contrast to Sunday.

Who, despite being an idealist, is also incredibly, damagingly pessimistic.

It must have been so hard for him to dilute himself into a perfect visage of piety and duty, not even just for the larger population of Penacony, but for Gopher Wood and, at some extent, even Robin.

He’s always been fiercely controlling, stemming from fear and paranoia that we can see grips him at every turn. It’s really a matter of debate but in my opinion he’s absolutely OCPD coded, which I don’t think helped at all.

I think we should interpret the idea of Ena’s “dream” a little more literally. It’s literally Sunday’s escapism. I could talk circles around Penacony being an allegory for escapism and idealism and the strengths and weaknesses of such philosophy, but I think Sunday is terribly afraid of reality and the lack of control most people have over their lives and seeks to rectify that by being an “equalizing” force to everyone.

It really does emphasize my beloved’s martyr complex and how he views himself as a reasonable price to pay for a world without suffering, even if nobody else around him sees it that way.

✧ He has done some bad things, but he is at his core, a very kind, very gentle, very loving person who I think could stand to treat himself with the same dignity and love he does others. ✧

[puzzlefaggot]

WE MADE IT EVERYBODY..... SYCAMORE SUNDAY

pl spoilers below cut

[gunsatthaphan]

about time my boy Joong gets banned from Twitter bc wtf is this,,,,,,,....----?¿

[biowaredisasterbisexual]

Shameless Self-Promotion Saturday Sunday/Sunday Accountability Post

Thanks for the uno-reverse tag, @skullypettibone!

I am not sure who has been tagged yet, so I’ll just throw some gentle tags out there to as many people as I can bug off the top of my exhausted head (I slept for 3.5 hours, please forgive me): @hyperions-light, @ofcrowsanddragons, @bygonesigh, @dymme, @basedonconjecture, @corvus-frugilegus, @mageofquandrix, @mythals-whore, @galluslonging, @jouskaroo, @wukodork, @znthra, @operative-arrow, @the-sparrohawk, @davrinsleftpectoral, @becausedragonage, @littlemissgeek8, @uchidachi, @thedissonantverses, and last but never least — anyone reading this who wants to! Show off and tag me so I can yell about you!

The idea: We make a post and show off, what cool stuff we created over the past week. Art, Screenshots, writing (anything from a questionnaire about your OC to the 100K epos...) anything we do is worth to be seen and to be promoted. And by tagging people, commenting, and reblogging, we share the love and boost ourselves, and other's confidence. No matter what form you choose, whether you reblog your initial post, or create a new one with teasers, you decide!

I have, once again, managed to accidentally put this off until Sunday, so I’m combining it with my Sunday Accountability Post, which I make each week to create a false deadline and trick my ADHD into letting me work.

So this week we closed out BELLARA WEEK 2025!! As I did for Taash Week 2025, I challenged myself to write a ficlet every day based on the prompts and really push myself creatively. So: Bellara Week 2025 Ficlet Series!

I also posted up the second-to-last of the Getting Into Trouble series: Testamentum, a Neverook fic taking place post-Tearstone and pre-Endgame. Angst, Disaster Rook Lore, a reunion!

The next one-shot in that series, if I ever manage to get it to a place I feel is good enough, will be the finale. I know. I can’t really believe it either. 🤯

But all is not lost for me. I did also work on both the finale and on The Ventus Job, the GIT sequel, this week. So here’s a snippet of TVJ below the cut.

“So, what’s the plan, Trouble?” Neve asked him later. Kind of a fool’s errand for her, honestly, because Rook was still far more interested in letting his fingertips run over the soft skin of her stomach than he was in a pre-party strategy session.

He smirked, leaning in to kiss her collarbone. “This?” He offered, before letting the edge of his teeth graze over her. He couldn’t help the sense of accomplishment when she shivered.

“Your cousins will be here in,” she checked the magical clock on the wall, “an hour.”

“Plenty of time.”

At that Neve laughed, pushing him away gently and he grinned. “You and I both know it’s not. Try again.”

“Try to…?” She flicked his breastbone, and he chuckled. “Alright, alright. So, we get dressed. You look amazing, I look roguishly charming,” he began. Neve smirked, and he grinned.

“You accompany Livinia. I accompany Sabine.” It was going to be a long night. Whatever face he made made Neve snicker, though, so maybe his suffering would be worth it. “And I accept thanks in the form of sexual favors or chocolate, by the way.”

She prodded his side and he continued, “We get in. So there’s the easy part.”

[sainz100]

x

[firenati0n]

several sentence sunday <3 :)

hello friends :) thank you to @welcometololaland @anincompletelist @suseagull04 @bigassbowlingballhead @indestructibleheart

@thedramasummer @onthewaytosomewhere @cricketnationrise @ninzied @sophie1973

@cha-melodius @orchidscript @sparklepocalypse @kiwiana-writes @tailsbeth-writes

@theprinceandagcd @hgejfmw-hgejhsf for the tags :) :) i finally have some sentences. i have been struggling a lot with reading and writing recently. so, I'm writing something that makes me happy to bring the juice back.

here is a peep at angel!henry sequel. because honestly, writing him experiencing joy at small human things is helping me recalibrate myself and find my own tiny joys. i am doing this for me. it is a love letter to humanity from me to you, but also a reminder to myself

The Victoria & Albert museum is lively today. Henry hasn’t been back to the Cast Courts since he last visited in his time of need, the heaviest he had ever felt, his whole being sagging under the weight of the world’s pain he elected to shoulder. If he stares hard enough, he can almost see a shadow of his former self staring up at Trajan’s Column, can almost run his fingers across the desperation written all over his face as he seeks comfort in Civitali’s angels; his hands clasped and cold and pleading.   Now, his hands are warm, nestled in Alex’s palms, calloused fingertips absentmindedly running over Henry’s knuckles. It makes Henry feel grounded, tethered to a reality he never thought he deserved, but has manifested nonetheless.  He takes in the statues with a new perspective, a newfound respect. Yes, they endured. Yes, they were seen, and they were loved.  But now, Henry is too. Seen and loved, in the way that matters, with an end in sight. Henry’s never been happier to reject eternity. 

xoxo roop

+ tags under the cut and open tag as always <3

@priincebutt @rmd-writes @leaves-of-laurelin @eusuntgratie @blueeyedgrlwrites

@getmehighonmagic @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @captainjunglegym @duchessdepolignaca03 @porcelainmortal

@orchidscript @myheartalivewrites @dumbpeachjuice @anchoredarchangel @nocoastposts

@wordsofhoneydew @tintagel-or-cockleshells @sherryvalli @lizzie-bennetdarcy @heysweetheart-writes

@onward--upward @celeritas2997 @inexplicablymine @affectionatelyrs @happiness-of-the-pursuit

@14carrotghoul @cultofsappho @alasse9 @nontoxic-writes @piratefalls

@ships-to-sail @itsmaybitheway @adreamareads

[sexynetra]

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY

Remembered my beloved @thecollectionsof wrote the worlds best hanahaki fic and remembered that I've wanted to write one since they published that masterpiece............ and here we are

~~~~~~

Marcia brushed past her into the lobby before twirling on her heels to face Anetra again, brown eyes glimmering like topaz under the dim fluorescent lights. “Picture Beyoncé. Then picture Megan Thee Stallion. Then combine those images. This woman was like–a hundred times hotter than that.” Marcia was gesticulating wildly with her free hand as she spoke. Normally, Anetra would find her dramatics endearing, would be teasing her for being incapable of speaking without her whole body getting involved. Instead, she felt frozen, the glimmer in her stomach suddenly starting to feel a lot more insidious.

“That feels sacrilegious to say,” Anetra spoke after a moment, trying to recover.

[maximura]

[sarchasmmm]

I'm not a fanfic guy but I wanted to write a little smth exploring Sunday's ocd a bit. So I did.

Angst & intrusive thoughts ahead (although I didn't write anything graphic)

Standing before a mirror, Sunday adjusted his clothes, smoothing them out, making sure that everything was even on both sides. Gently, he repositioned pieces of his hair - he was very picky about it, to the point that he could spend hours in front of a mirror if he had the time. He had to get it just right. Once he was done, he started for the door, but before he could reach it, a small voice whispered in his ear - check again. Just to be sure. So he went back to the mirror, checked he hadn't missed anything - he hadn't. He never did. And so again, he went for the door, and again there was that nagging in his head telling him to check again, check again, what if you missed something? He knew he hadn't, he was certain - nothing could have changed in the few seconds since he had last looked in the mirror, and yet the incessant clamouring in his mind demanded that he check just one more time. Just. In. Case.

But it was never just one more time. Not really. It was ten times, or twenty, he just couldn't leave, couldn't escape, trapped by his reflection and the cacophony in his mind that screamed he was imperfect.

And what was the point of him, if he was imperfect? What was the point of defective, damaged goods?

None at all.

And so he had to look perfect. Always. Lest anyone notice the damaged parts beneath the surface.

This cycle happened every morning, without fail. He had to get ready early just so he would have time for it. He'd tried delaying his morning routine in the hopes that the fear of being late would outweigh the fear of looking imperfect - it didn't. All he got was surprised comments about how 'It's so rare for you of all people to be late, Mr Sunday.' It was the most stressful morning of his life. He tried covering the mirrors, getting rid of them entirely, but nothing worked. The thoughts were constantly clawing at his mind, digging their talons deep into his psyche, their voices shrieking like nails on a chalkboard. He never got far before he used his phone's camera as a mirror. Seeing himself looking prim and proper always soothed the thoughts, quieted them down - at least for a while.

It wasnt just mirrors, though. Sunday found his mind grew restless when other people were around. It was like there was someone clinging to him, a shadow he couldn't see whispering things into his ears, their touch cold and clammy against his skin, but when he looked, there was nothing there. It would put such barbaric, rancid thoughts in his head, things about what other people looked like, how they deserved to have awful things happen to them, how if people could hear what was going on inside his head, they'd realise what a disgusting excuse for a human being he really was.

They weren't really his thoughts. Were they? He hoped they weren't. And yet they spoke with his voice. If it wasn't really him then why did they sound exactly like him?

One of Sunday's biggest fears was having people hear his thoughts. It was ridiculous, of course, impossible even. And yet he just couldn't shake it.

You know your halo can be used for telepathy. What if you're broadcasting all of your rotten thoughts to everyone?

He wasn't, he wasn't, he knew he wasn't, and yet that knowledge never soothed him in the slightest. It didn't matter if it was impossible. There was always the fear. The 'what ifs.' The poison in his ears.

Before he knew it, Sunday had let a chasm grow between himself and his peers as he kept his distance from people, both physically and emotionally. Just in case.

Perhaps that was why, or at least part of why, Sunday wished so strongly to create his paradise. Absolution. Proving that those thoughts weren't really his. Would someone who truly believed such heinous things about others wish for them to be happy?

He thought not.

[hephaestuscrew]

"Minkowski's been talking about Sondheim again…": Minkowski's love of musical theatre and what it reveals about her characterisation and her relationships

TL;DR: Renée Minkowski's love of musicals, while it might seem just like a mundane character detail, is used to give depth to her character because it contrasts with expectations of her from both the listening audience and the other characters. Her willingness or unwillingness to share this interest in different circumstances reveals her relationships with other characters at various points. Since this is a long one, if you'd rather read it as a document, you can view it here: Google Doc version.

"She actually really cares about these talent shows": Episode 8 (Box 953)

In the early episodes of Season 1, Minkowski is presented (largely through Eiffel's unreliable perspective) purely as a strict no-nonsense authority figure without much emotional depth, the kind of person who only likes things that are useful, purposeful, or mandated by Command. In contrast, musical theatre is a creative pursuit that has nothing to do with the mission of the Hephaestus and is viewed by many people as fairly frivolous or silly. The gradual exploration of Minkowski's passion for musicals is one of the many ways that the show expands and challenges our understanding of her as a character. 

The first indication that we get of her interest in musicals is through her entry into the infamous talent show, something that is required as part of the mission. Minkowski really cares about 'crew morale' activities in general, even when they actually have a negative effect on morale and even before she's friends with any of her crew (for example, the Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners in the earlier stage of the mission), perhaps partly because doing things in the "right way" is important to her. 

But Eiffel senses that the talent shows aren't just about rules for her: "it’s bad enough when she makes us do something just because it’s military protocol, but I think that she actually really cares about these talent shows". This might be the first indication that we get of Minkowski caring deeply about anything that isn't inherently part of her role as a Commander. Moments like this are part of the gradual process of giving us insight into her character beyond the Commander archetype that she tries to embody. And yet, she only indulges her theatrical passion because something mandatory gives her permission, or an excuse, to let another part of herself out.

Of course, to satisfy the needs of a talent show, she'd only need to provide a performance of a few minutes. But Eiffel mentions "the second act of the play" - which along with Hera's comment that "Isabel isn't the biggest role in the play" - implies that Minkowski was intending to put on the whole of Pirates of Penzance as her talent show act, rather than a few of the songs or some kind of medley. (I suppose that Eiffel could be exaggerating or Minkowski might have been planning to do extracts from different parts of the play, but I prefer the interpretation in which Minkowski gets to be more ridiculous.) 

Even though no one else would be willing to be in her production of Pirates of Penzance, Minkowski casts Hera as Isabel, a role with two lines and no solo singing. I found some audition notes for this play which said "The traditional staging gives [Isabel] more prominence than the solo opportunities of the part suggest, so she must be a good actress" which does make me sad in relation to Hera's inability to have a more significant role by being physically present on stage. 

It’s sweet that Hera still wants to take part though. She tells Eiffel "Pirates of Penzance is a classic of 19th century comic opera", so either she’s absorbed what Minkowski has told her about the show, or she’s done her own research and formed her own opinions. I enjoy the fact that Hera is the one Hephaestus crew member who shows potential to share Minkowski's musical theatre appreciation; I like to think that this is something they could explore together post-canon.

Anyway, I'm obsessed with the idea that Minkowski was planning to play every character except one in Pirates of Penzance, a show which is designed to have 10 principal characters and a chorus of 14 men. It seems that her contribution to the talent show was supposed to be an entire two-hour two-act musical, with costumes and props, in which she would play almost all of the parts. This is very funny to me as the perhaps predictable consequence of giving an ambitious and frustrated grown-up theatre kid a position of authority and asking them to arrange a talent show. Minkowski knows that the audience will be made up of her subordinates who are theoretically obliged by the chain of command to watch and listen, so she absolutely tries to make the most of that opportunity. There's probably also a degree to which she limits other people's involvement in her musical because - as with her other endeavors - she wants the outcome to be almost entirely within her control (something that is usually pretty much impossible in as collaborative a medium as musical theatre).

Of course, Minkowski's behaviour in most of the talent show episode is affected by her being drugged by Hilbert. This creates an exaggerated situation which is the first real opportunity for Minkowski to be something other than the strict sensible authoritarian Commander and the foil to Eiffel's jokey laid-back attitude. I don't agree with ideas that being intoxicated brings out anyone's true self (especially in the absence of consent for the intoxication), but it seems pretty clear that being under the influence of whatever was in Hilbert's concoction caused Minkowski to fully commit to a level of manic enthusiasm for her musical production that might have otherwise been obscured by her professionalism. It's a particular kind of person who belts showtunes when drunk, and Minkowski is that kind of person, even if that's not how she wants to present herself. (As a sidenote, I seem to remember that they took Emma Sherr-Ziarko's script off her to help her sound more drunk. It's an excellent performance.)

Minkowski wants interval ice cream. She wants "pirate costumes" (and she'll threaten to shoot a man to get them). She wants "swashes and buckles". She wants whatever props she can get her hands on (including a real cannon). This show is important to her, even though only three other people will witness it and two of them actively don't want to be there. It’s important to her for its own sake.

Eiffel says Minkowski wants "a second pair of eyes to tell her if the prop sabre for her Major-General costume was a bit much…"  While I certainly wouldn't put it past Goddard Futuristics to have a prop sabre on the station for no apparent reason, it feels more likely that she might have made it or adapted some existing item. Which suggests that maybe she was that passionate about the props even before Hilbert drugged her. 

Even so, it does feel significant that Minkowski's love of musicals is only revealed in the episode in which she is drugged, exhibiting lowered inhibitions, exaggerated behaviour, and an "impaired euphoric effect". Her love of musical theatre is initially revealed through a professional structure that provides permission, and then further emphasised by a forced intoxication that exaggerates some impulses that perhaps she already had.

"Some hobbies other than making trains run on time": Episode 17 (Bach to the Future)

After Eiffel tells to find Minkowski to find something else to do while her work duties have quietened down, they have the following exchange:

EIFFEL: You must have some hobbies other than making trains run on time. Something to do with friends? Boyfriends? MINKOWSKI: Of course I do, but, well, there aren't really a lot of opportunities for rock climbing or trail hiking in the immediate vicinity. 

Even though this quote doesn't mention musicals, I've included it here for two reasons. Firstly, it's very funny to me that, even after the talent show debacle, Eiffel acts like he's never had any evidence of Minkowski's hobbies. She tried to perform a whole play almost single-handedly and it didn't occur to him that this might indicate an interest of hers outside of work. I think this reflects the fairly two-dimensional view that Eiffel has previously had of Minkowski, which her interest in musical theatre didn't fit into. 

Secondly, it feels notable that Minkowski doesn't mention musical theatre here. She wants to show that she has non-work interests, but without undermining her own authoritative image. Her interest in rock climbing and trail hiking - while it may be genuine - fits with how she wants to be seen as a Commander. These are hobbies which portray her as physically capable, with a high degree of stamina and a willingness to adapt to perhaps less hospitable surroundings. Of course, Minkowski does have these traits and they serve her well on the Hephaestus. But there's not really anything particularly surprising about her expressing these interests. The surprise in this scene comes from the reveal that she has a husband, a character detail which - like her love of musicals - isn't something we'd necessarily expect from the archetype-based view of her we are initially presented with. 

Her interest in rock climbing and trail hiking never come up again, because these details don't really deepen her characterisation (or at least, they aren't really used to deepen her characterisation beyond proving that she isn't entirely all-work-and-no-play). In contrast, Minkowski's love of musicals is brought up over and over because it shows another side of her that she struggles to reveal on the Hephaestus, and that allows more interesting things to be done with her characterisation.

"You wanted to write showtunes": Episode 35 (Need to Know)

Alongside the more high stakes discoveries prompted by the leak from Kepler's files, we also learn that Minkowski applied to - and was rejected from - the Tisch Graduate Musical Theater Writing Program.

Up until this point, we've only had evidence that Minkowski enjoys performing in musicals. But here we learn that Minkowski doesn't just love watching or performing in musicals - she wanted to write them too. This suggests a creative side to her that we never see her fully express.

The course

The Tisch Graduate Musical Theatre Writing Program claims to be the only course of its kind in the world and it accepts just 30 students each year. The current application process requires applicants to: upload play scripts or recordings of songs they've written; answer a large number of extended response questions about their creative process and views on musical theatre; write a 'statement of purpose' which has to talk about why they are applying and include 3 original ideas for musicals; provide a professional resume and a digital portfolio; complete an exercise of writing in response to a prompt; and undergo an interview. The process might have changed somewhat since Minkowski would have been applying (which, if it was soon after she finished college, might have been around the early 2000s) or it might be different in Wolf 359's alternate universe, but I think we can safely assume that applying to this course was a serious undertaking that required an intense amount of commitment and work. 

Applying to a course like that isn't something you do half-heartedly or on a whim. You couldn't apply to this course if you hadn't done a fair amount of musical theatre writing already. (The course requires applicants to choose to apply as bookwriters, lyricists, or composers, but I'm not going to make a guess here as to which of these Minkowski went for.) The fact that Minkowski wanted to study this course suggests that she was seriously considering trying to make a career out of musical theatre writing. In Once In A Lifetime, she tells Cutter that commanding a space station has always been her dream job, but we've got evidence here that it wasn't her only dream job. There's something kind of funny and kind of sad about the idea that writing musicals was her back-up / fall-back career path. She does not like to make life easy for herself.

The revelation 

This information is revealed against Minkowski's will. It's not something she wanted people to find out, and she isn't happy about them knowing:

JACOBI: "Dear Renée, thank you for your interest in the Tisch Graduate Musical Theater Writing Program..." MINKOWSKI: Oh, come on!  JACOBI: (pressing on) "We are sorry to say, we will not be able to offer you a spot in this year's blah blah blah." Oh this is too good. You wanted to write showtunes?  MINKOWSKI: Number one? Shut up. Number two, why are my personal records on there?! [...] How is it in any way relevant?! JACOBI: Oh, I think it's very relevant. I mean, if you're sending someone to pilot ships in deep space, you want to make sure that they can, you know... paint with all the colors of the wind.  Jacobi CRACKS UP - and, although to a lesser degree, so does Lovelace. Minkowski looks at her: really?  LOVELACE: Sorry, Minkowski. It's... it's a little funny.  MINKOWKSI: No, it isn't!

Minkowski seems defensive and embarrassed here. She obviously doesn't trust everyone there with this revelation (Jacobi, Maxwell, Lovelace, and Hera are all present). She considers this information to be "personal" and irrelevant and not even "a little funny". She's used to reactions like Jacobi's (and to a lesser extent Lovelace's); in Ep41 Memoria, she says "most people think it's hilarious that I like musicals" (see below for more thoughts about this quote). But the fact that these mocking reactions are expected doesn't mean that they don't bother her. She wants so badly to be taken seriously and, in this scene, her interest in musical theatre seems to be incompatible with that. Jacobi reacts the way that he does because of the idea that I've already expressed, that a passion for musical theatre does not fit with the serious authoritative image that Minkowski has often presented. It's not the typical hobby of a soldier, especially not a Commander.

To me, the way Lovelace laughs suggests that she might not have previously known about Minkowski's love of musicals, or at least perhaps not the full extent of it. At any rate, it's definitely news to Jacobi. And Minkowski clearly hasn't talked about it enough for it not to feel like a big reveal for her.

The rejection 

It's notable that this reveal is not just that she wanted to write for the stage, but also that she failed to get into a course that might have helped her work towards that goal. This of course compounds Minkowski's discomfort at having this information revealed. Not only did she want to write showtunes, but she encountered rejection in her attempts to do so. This detail implies that perhaps it wasn't just the appeal of her spacefaring dream that stopped her going down a theatrical career path. 

I'm about to move more into headcanon territory rather than just straightforward analysis, but I personally believe that, while Minkowski auditioned for a lot of musicals (particularly as a child / young person), she was never cast as the main role. She seems embarrassed about her interest in musical theatre in a way that (at least judging by people I've encountered) people who were always the lead in their school / college productions don't tend to be. 

We don't have much evidence about her actual level of singing/acting ability, given that she is inebriated during the only time we hear her sing in the podcast. However, it resonates with other aspects of her characterisation to imagine that Minkowski was generally good enough to get an ensemble part but never quite good enough to be cast as a main part. I think she might see only ever being cast as part of the ensemble, and failing to get into the Tisch Musical Theatre Writing programme, as slightly more down-to-earth examples of the same pattern as her repeated rejections from NASA. She is desperate to prove herself. She is "someone who very much wants to matter. To do something important." When she casts herself as almost every part in Pirates of Penzance, she is finally taking the opportunity to be a main character, an opportunity which I imagine had been denied to her over and over in both a literal and metaphorical sense.

"It's just from a play I saw once": Episode 41 (Memoria)

The next scene I want to talk about is from a memory of Hera's, which took place on Day 57 of the Hephaestus mission and in which Minkowski appears to be talking about the Stephen Sondheim musical Sunday in the Park with George:

MINKOWSKI: Oh, it's just from a play I saw once. It doesn't matter. (BEAT) The guy who sings it is this famous French painter. And his entire life is kinda falling apart. But he can always turn what's happening around him into these beautiful paintings.  HERA: And? MINKOWSKI: And... That's, I don't know. Reassuring, maybe? (BEAT) I don't know why I'm going on about this. You don't care.  HERA: I think it's interesting.  MINKOWSKI: Yeah? Most people think it's hilarious that I like musicals.  HERA: I don't see what's funny about it.  MINKOWSKI: Well, thank you Hera, but you're not exactly... you know.  HERA: I'm not... what? 

There's a couple of different things I want to pick out from this exchange. Firstly, the line "Most people think it's hilarious that I like musicals" makes me sad. I don't think she's talking about people on the Hephaestus there. Judging by the quote I talked about from Bach to the Future, Eiffel definitely wouldn't have registered Minkowski's love of musicals at this stage, and I doubt Hilbert cares at all about the hobbies of his fellow crew members. So Minkowski is talking about experiences that she's had on Earth, of people mocking her interest in musicals and thinking it doesn't fit with who she is. You can hear the impact of those experiences in Minkowski's reluctance to elaborate, in the way she says that something she obviously cares about doesn't matter, in her assumption that Hera doesn't care.

Secondly, this scene is a complicated one for Minkowski and Hera's relationship. On the one hand, Minkowski freely talks to Hera about something she's passionate about, and Hera listens and expresses interest. Hera validates Minkowski's interest in musical theatre without making a thing of it being weird and Minkowski thanks her. Again, it’s shown as an interest they could could potentially share.

But on the other hand, it seems like part of the reason Minkowski feels able to open up to Hera is because at this point Minkowski doesn't see opening up to Hera as fully equivalent to opening up to a fellow human. She doesn't just accept Hera not making fun of her interest; instead it seems Minkowski is about to imply that this lack of judgment indicates Hera's difference from humans (although she does have the decency not to say it outright). Minkowski's expectation of judgment from others contributes to her saying something very hurtful to Hera here. (This kind of potential consequence of negative self-attitude is explored a lot with Eiffel, so it's interesting that Minkowski can sometimes have a similar issue.)

Minkowski and Hera's conversation is interrupted when:

The DOOR OPENS.  EIFFEL: Hey, Minkowski, we've - What are you guys talking about?  MINKOWSKI: We were just discussing how I'm going to take away your hot water privileges if you don't reset the long-range scan.

Eiffel can obviously tell that he's walked in on a conversation that is about something other than work, or he wouldn't have asked. But Minkowski actively chooses not to tell him that she was talking to Hera about musicals. Perhaps she doesn't know how to open up to a human subordinate about it. Perhaps she doesn't trust him not to make fun of her. Perhaps she just doesn't have any impulse to talk about her interests with him. Either way, if Minkowski's love of musicals is something which reflects a side of her personality outside of her Commander role, this is a moment where she chooses not to take an opportunity to share that side of herself with Eiffel. This reflects the emotional distance between them three months into the mission, which forms a nice contrast with the next couple of quotes I'm going to talk about.

"Composition. Balance. Harmony.": Episode 54 (The Watchtower)

When Eiffel comes directly face to face with alien life, he discovers that music is the human invention that fascinates the Dear Listeners:

EIFFEL: You haven't figured out music?  BOB: ORDER. DESIGN. TENSION. COMPOSITION. BALANCE. HARMONY.  EIFFEL: (low, to himself) Minkowski's been talking about Sondheim again…

I only learned in the course of writing this post that in this moment the Dear Listeners are almost exactly quoting a repeated phrase used throughout Sunday in the Park with George. The titular protagonist lists various combinations of these qualities in multiple songs in reference to his art. In the closing song, the lyrics are "Order. Design. Tension. Composition. Balance. Light. [...] Harmony." It's not only Eiffel's references that the Dear Listeners are incorporating into their speech - they've picked this one up from Minkowski. This also suggests that some element of her appreciation for musicals and the way she talks about them has fed into the Dear Listeners' understanding of the human phenomenon of music. The Dear Listeners aren't just parroting - they understood the quote enough that they left out the word "light", arguably the only quality in that phrase which isn't a big part of music as well as visual art. Eiffel likes music too, but I don't think that this is how he'd talk about his favourite songs.

This is a refrain about finding order and beauty out of the chaos and uncertainty of life, which was also the aspect of Sunday in the Park with George that Minkowski focused on when talking about it in Memoria. It suggests that art/music could be something governed by rules and principles, which is potentially something that appeals both to Minkowski and to the Dear Listeners.

Eiffel's response to this reference is one of those little hints that reminds us that Eiffel and Minkowski have spent a lot of time together and that not all of that time has involved them being at each others' throats or actively in a life-or-death situation. Some of it has just been Minkowski going on about a musical she loves and Eiffel (willingly or not) paying enough attention that he recognises this phrase as a Sondheim quote that Minkowski has talked about. I suppose that this quote might have been in Eiffel's pop-culture-brain anyway, but judging from Eiffel's general tastes and the fact that I don't think Sunday in the Park with George is one of the more commonly known Sondheim musicals among non-musical fans, it seems more likely that this quote is something he only knows because Minkowski has talked about it. 

Eiffel sounds exasperated at the mention, like he's heard Minkowski talk about Sondheim far too much. But I'd argue that this still says something positive about their relationship, when we contrast it with a couple of other moments I've already mentioned. Firstly, when her previous musical theatre ambitions are revealed to Jacobi, Maxwell, and Lovelace in Need to Know, Minkowski seems embarrassed and defensive. Secondly, in the memory from Memoria, she avoids telling Eiffel that she was talking about this same musical. Yet, by the time The Watchtower takes place, Eiffel is sick of hearing Minkowski talk about Sondheim. She doesn't have the same barriers up in sharing her interests with him, even though he doesn't have the same interests. I think this is a demonstration of how comfortable she feels with him. It's a hint at the kind of easy downtime that they've sometimes shared.

"One day more": Episode 61 (Brave New World)

Eiffel recognises another musical reference of Minkowski’s in the finale. As the crew are preparing for their final confrontation with Cutter and co., Minkowski quotes Les Misérables, mostly to herself - but Eiffel recognises the lyrics and joins in:

EIFFEL: Hey - chin up, soldier. We're almost through. Just one more day, and then we're done.  MINKOWSKI: Yeah, one more day. (more to herself) The time is now, the place is here - one day more.  EIFFEL: - one day more.  They both stop, dead in their tracks. MINKOWSKI: Did you just - ?  EIFFEL: Was that what I - ?  They look at each other: No way. And BURST INTO LAUGHTER.  EIFFEL: Man... this is really it, huh? The end of everything. 

It feels really important that Minkowski and Eiffel share this moment of togetherness before she tries to send him back to Earth and before the rest of the action goes down. I think there’s some nice symbolism about them finding a way to communicate that they both understand. Making references is Eiffel's thing, and musicals are Minkowski's thing, so this is a synthesis of their two approaches. Again, there's a contrast with Minkowski's previous unwillingness to share her musical theatre passions with Eiffel (at least without the mitigating circumstances of a mandatory talent show and some kind of intoxicating substance).

I talked about the significance of the fact that they reference this particular musical in this post from ages ago. I don't think it's too much of a spoiler for Les Misérables to say that the revolution that the song One Day More is building up to does not end well for the revolutionaries. When Eiffel says "Just one more day, and then we're done", it encompasses both the possibility that the crew will escape to travel back to Earth and the possibility that they will all die. Minkowski's reference to a famously tragic musical suggests that it's the latter possibility that's at the forefront of her mind (right before she tries to send Eiffel away from the danger). But Les Misérables is also a story about people standing together in solidarity against powerful oppressive forces, which gives particular resonance to the way that this reference brings Eiffel and Minkowski together in a moment of being completely on the same wavelength as they prepare to fight Cutter and Pryce's plan.

When they laugh here, it's not about the 'hilariousness' of Minkowski's interest in musicals, it's about their unexpected unison - Eiffel's recognition of Minkowski's reference and Minkowski's surprise at the fact he joined in. It's a laugh of togetherness, of shared understanding, of friendship. It's a moment of lightness in dark times. And that moment is provided by Minkowski's pop culture interests, not Eiffel's. In spite of all they've been through, she's not lost that part of herself, and in fact, she's more open about it, at least to Eiffel.

I'll finish by highlighting what Eiffel says when he's trying to get into character to impersonate Minkowski so he can turn the Sol around:

EIFFEL: Umm... yes, this is Lieutenant Commander Renée Minkowski. I'm... uh... well I sure love schedules, and, uh, musicals. And that man, who I married…

I just think this is a nice example of Eiffel not defining Minkowski solely by her professional Commander role. Sure, she likes schedules (probably in a personal as well a professional capacity to be fair), but she also loves musicals, and her husband. It is a fairly reductive overview of her as a person, but it feels reductive in a fond way, like these things are part of Minkowski's brand to Eiffel in a way that he might affectionately tease her about. (Credit to @commsroom for this thought.) His view of Minkowski has come a long way from "our resident Statsi agent" or even just "you must have some hobbies other than making trains run on time." He doesn't see any contradiction or inherent humour in Lieutenant Commander Renée Minkowski's appreciation of musicals.

Conclusion

Minkowski's love of musical theatre is used to deepen her characterisation and is one of the ways in which we gradually begin to see her complexity beyond the strict Commander archetype. The degree to which she is prepared to share this interest at various points is used to illustrate the nature of her relationships with other characters: a general unwillingness to show a less serious side of herself; a complicated potential shared interest with Hera; and the growing understanding between her and Eiffel.

If you read this whole thing, well done / thank you 😄 It wasn't meant to be this long - it just happened… Feel free to share your thoughts!