#swaggon co

[nix-writes-mcyt]

i simp for scar wayyyy too much so may i ask for a scar x reader fanfic if thats ok <3

Here you go friend!

Sales Tactic

Oneshot Contains: Fluff, a lot of flirting. I mean a lot of flirting. ----------------------------

After years with the Hermits one would think you'd learned what to expect by now. But no. That is in fact not the case.

When you had woken up it had been just like any other day. Living quite out of the way it wasn't often you saw Hermits around your area. You'd seem them throughout the day in your travels around the hermitlands, but it wasn't often people came over to your area.

There wasn't really much need to, after all you spent a lot of your time out and around others. Days like today were reserved for work on your base. But when you had caught sight of a wagon parked in your front garden it was quite clear it wouldn't be a quiet day.

With curiosity getting the best of you, you made your way over to the sales vehicle. It's only occupant was sat leant back, signature red hat adjusted on his head to cover his eyes. It was quite clear Scar was asleep, arms folded over his chest and all.

Waking him up wasn't difficult. You just outstretched your hand and gave his hat a little poke, causing it to topple off his head. The shift in light was what woke him up, Scar looking more than a little caught off guard.

"Oh, Y/n," he says, hand over his heart, "you startled me, I must have dozed off." Scar chuckles. You hum, smiling softly as Scar leans over to pick up his hat, placing it neatly back atop his head.

"I was just enjoying the atmosphere you've created, even with so much behind the scenes unfinished. These exteriors are gorgeous, just like you." Scar takes your hand, bringing it up to his lips.

The kiss almost makes you swoon, you can't say you've ever been so enamoured with so little. But then again this is Scar, Mr. Goodtimes. The owner of Swaggon Co. Co-owner of Boatem Inc. You could go on but that's enough titles for one man.

Regaining control over your thoughts you find that Scar has moved around you and stands on the stairs to the chests of the wagon. His hand is extended to you, which you take. He's such a gentleman.

"Now, I heard that you were in need of some more supplies to continue your build. So I went out of my way to pick some up, and here I am. But first, tell me your vision for this place." Scar gestures to your base, or rather the exterior of it.

You give him a pretty simple run down of your ideas and thoughts, most of which Scar simply hums in response to. He listens carefully, offering pieces of advice here and there. He's a builder himself after all.

You wouldn't have thought he'd pay so much attention to your words, but you can't complain. Not while looking into those beautiful green eyes of his anyway.

Once you're finished Scar produces a cyan shulker box, placing it down in front of you. "Go ahead, take a look. I believe these items are just what you need." His signature smirk gives you your doubts, but Scar proves you wrong.

The box is full of all kinds of blocks you need, even things you hadn't thought about before telling Scar about your vision. When you look back up at him he has a very knowing facial expression.

"All we have to discuss now is the matter of payment." Scar says, smirk turning into a smile that causes your heart to skip a beat. For a second you just stare, you can't help yourself.

Then, as you come to your senses it hits you. "You're trying to swindle me for everything I own."

Scar chuckles, "No.. don't be silly. I would never. Not when it comes to you anyway." "So you admit it." You cross your arms with a smug smile.

"It only works in this case if you find me attractive." Scar states boldly, catching you completely off guard. You stutter and stumble over a few words, watching his eyes twinkle in delight at your reaction.

"Do you find me attractive, Y/n?" You know he knows the answer. His confidence and the way he said your name tell you that much. Yet you nod anyway, how could you not answer him?

"Would it surprise you to know none of this was a sales tactic?" Scar asks. You don't need to say a word for him to know you don't believe him. "Check the name of the box."

You open the shulker once again, peering at the little tag area. It reads 'Its all free not a sales tactic. The second 'c' is cut off by the character limit to name the box, but the message is still clear. He planned this from the beginning.

"I told you." Scar says, matter of factly. You don't know what to say, realising that he was actually just straight up flirting with you the entire time.

He looks pleased with himself, which you can't deny he should, because that really is impressive to pull off.

"Well then, now we've figured out what's really going on here I have a proposition for you." "Go on." You're eager to hear what he has to say, Scar taking your hand in his once again.

"I'm a business man, Y/n, and I'd like to offer you the deal of a lifetime. One I don't think you'll be able to refuse." His tone is playful, thumb rubbing the back of your hand gently as he silently asks you not to freak out.

"Join me, become my partner. This can be our home, together, and we can travel on the Swaggon to make our fortune. I can't think of a better travelling companion, nor a nicer place to stop and call home than this."

You furrow your eyebrows, leaving Scar looking puzzled. "That's quite the hard bargain you drive there, Mr. Goodtimes." Picking up on your playful tone you watch him relax, blushing ever so slightly.

You note how cute he looks like this, how soft his smile is now compared to his confident flirting earlier. Which is more attractive you can't seem to decide.

"Things of great value are the hardest of bargains." He says. "And just how great is this value?" You tease.

Within an instant Scar's face is deadpan serious. He leans in close, the green in his eyes shining so bright as he whispers "Priceless."

You let out a shaky breath, watching his eyes scan your face. He looks so pleased with your response. "Sold." Is the only thing you can get out.

Scar's other hand, the one that isn't in yours, finds your waist as he moves to stand fully in front of you now. "I have another proposition for you, Y/n." He says, waiting for you to acknowledge him before he continues. Which you do, with a nod.

"A kiss, in exchange for nothing." Scar once again awaits your response. "I have a counter offer." "Oh?" Scar asks, his hand on your waist pulling you closer to him.

"You get a kiss, I get a kiss." You say. Scar smiles, "now there's an offer I can't refuse."

You place a gentle kiss on his lips, short but sweet. As you move away Scar pulls you in for another kiss, deeper but no less gentle or sweet than yours.

You pull away with a smile on your face, Scar exactly the same. "I knew today would be a good day for business." He jokes. "I'd expect no less from such a well renowned salesman such as yourself."

Scar smiles, you leaning in to place a tender kiss on his cheek. It really has been a good day, Swaggon Co not the only thing benefitted by the outcome.

[shumistar]

SWAGGON CO. SCAR × CLOWN CAN U HEAR ME CAN U SEE THE VISION????? (now u can cus i drew it duh) their aesthetics literally MATCH!!!!!!

GO VOTE NOW:

Crackship poll

I want them to OBLITERATE this poll.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

If you ask Pearl about the Offworld Escape, she’ll tell you: “It was just like a big sleepover!” Further questions are answered with nothing but mischievous, knowing laughter.

If you ask Impulse about the Offworld Escape, he’ll tell you it was long and boring, but he could manage it by staying in a happy place and thinking up build ideas. Further questions are more likely to be answered with build ideas than anything relevant.

If you ask Scar about the Offworld Escape, he'll tell you: "Thanks to our patented Swaggon Co. technology, Boatem enjoyed a quick, cozy and problem-free journey through the Void!" Further questions are given the exact same answer, word for word.

If you ask Mumbo about the Offworld Escape, he’ll tell you he has no idea what you’re talking about. Further questions are answered by confusion due to Mumbo genuinely not remembering anything about a bottomless pit or a giant moon or abominations at the centre of the earth- are you making this stuff up? What do you mean, you didn’t bring up any of those things?

If you ask Grian about the Offworld Escape, he’ll ignore you. You should not ask further questions.

.

[mcytblrconfessions]

I wear Scar merch basically every day. I have the swaggon co and hot guy sweatshirts. Whenever someone asks what it’s referencing, I dodge the question. My go to response for anyone asking what the hot guy one is about is to say “well it’s true. I’m a hot guy.” (I am not. I am female presenting. No one believes that I am a hot guy.)

[siriannatan]

Not So Generic Coffee Shop AU

Just dug through the mess that is my fic file and dug out an old forgotten bit.

Jimmy was sure he had his life figured out. He had a stable job - the coffee shop he worked at might be owned by his sister but she would not keep him if he was bad at his job. He had a lovely boyfriend, Tango, and all his friends and Lizzie liked him well enough. But the longer they were together the more Jimmy felt that... 

Tango was a great... friend. He was handsome and charming and a perfect boyfriend. But to Jimmy, all they did together didn't really feel that much like they were a couple more like friends who occasionally made out and did all the other couple stuff. But their dates always felt just like friends hanging out. Tango's plans for them were never too concrete and easy to drop if Jimmy didn't feel like going out for pizza and to the games parlour. He saw nothing wrong with staying at home with popcorn and watching movies. They rarely did too many couple things...

Scott was likely to blame for Jimmy's disappointment. Who's Scott? Jimmy's boyfriend from his university days. They stayed together a couple of years after they graduated and decided to have some time apart and somehow that led to them drifting apart.

No matter. What Scott did was set a high standard for anyone Jimmy would date now. Scott was a romantic through and through. Even if Jimmy was tired he'd make his time magical and special. He'd surprise him with gifts and random small outings and dates. A performance in a small park Jimmy didn't even know was near their apartment. A dinner for two in a cosy, family restaurant two blocks away. Give him random gifts accompanied by flowers. Be it a single flower or a whole bouquet. Make breakfast in bed after dragging a tired Jimmy to a theatre. Get them dumb matching sweaters and mugs Jimmy still had deep in his closet, in an old shoe box. It was honestly an old box from Scott's shoes... Jimmy was pretty sure he got them for Scott though.

As much as Jimmy loved hanging out with Tango he couldn't stay with him as he was. It would not work out for either of them in the long run. He knew Tango would not 'break up' with him. Jimmy would call it a mutual agreement that they were not working out. No matter how he'd call it Tango would try to work it all out. Jimmy could not go on like that. And he knew where Scott worked a year ago... He might not be working there anymore. But a coffee shop nearby was hiring so Jimmy started by dropping his resume. As corny as 'the Swaggon CO.'s branding was it was a nice spot and store.

The next thing he did in this uncharacteristic bout of spontaneous possible self-destruction was look for an apartment nearby. He had enough personal savings to get a small place for himself. Worst case scenario he could drop his resume at the swanky interior design company Scott used to work at. he was no Scott but he did have a fancy IT degree even if he wasn't using it. It'd be much harder to get into or leave later. Once the apartment was secured he slowly moved some of his things. Whenever Tango was at work and he had time he'd take small sections of his belongings.

When the shop eventually called him he told Lizzie he was breaking up with Tango. He didn't tell her about Scott, she was a bit angry at him for his and Jimmy's break up. She was sad but understood that maybe Jimmy was not feeling the relationship. The secrecy was confusing to her. "Liz, Tango's a sweetheart and an amazing buddy but I'm not feeling this as a serious relationship," he'd explain to her over coffee. "And he won't just let this go, it's not who he is... And I'll not force this to last until we're both rotting in misery..."

"So you think it's best you just vanish?" Lizzie glared at him.

"I'm feeling like I'm suffocating, Liz, I think I rushed things too much after Scott, I need to breathe a little bit more, and be my own man," Jimmy sighed. It was partially true. He should have just gone back and tried to convince Scott they should have stayed together. And he'd likely stay single for some time if he managed to find Scott but not get him back. Things felt rushed with Tango.

"If that's what you feel then okay," Lizzie sighed. She seemed convinced. "He's at work today? Then you can go and finish moving before I change my mind and call you an idiot," she added, leaving Jimmy with his styrofoam coffee cup. It was a slow day so it was no wonder she was okay with losing him.

Jimmy did not wait for Lizzie to change her mind. And quickly moved the rest of his things to his new place. He did leave Tango a lengthy letter explaining why he decided to leave. He wasn't a complete jerk.

He had no idea what to do in the three days before his first shift at the new shop. A morning shift since he already had experience and the place was relatively new. He got reacquainted with the area. Most of the small tucked-away spots that Scott used to take him to were gone in the year Jimmy didn't visit this part of town. There were still some left but not many. Oh, and he changed his number, that was like the first thing. Just to save Tango the pain. He did give it to Lizzie. She was his sister after all.

He did avoid the coffee shop and Scott's old workplace like fire even if he did live close by. Despite all he did he was somewhat scared to see Scott again. Scared and excited.

As expected of the more busy, modern and full of offices part of town the morning shift was a lot. A lot of the same order for simple black coffee. Did no office types drink interesting coffee? At least it was easy to make. Jimmy was slowly getting mentally drained by the same order for plain black coffee and plain bagels that sudden "Jimmy?" had him more spooked than he expected he'd be. As he looked up there he was.

Scott. In a dark plum suit with a dusty pink shirt under his vest. Teal hair already a mess. His nails painted in many colours as he ran one hand through his hair. And he still had that nice, leather bag Jimmy bought him for the last birthday they spent together. Or a very similar one. "Hi," Jimmy sent him a nervous smile. Very aware he must have looked atrocious in the dark maroon uniform of the Swaggon Coffee. "Should I ask about your order or see how well I remember how you like your coffee?" he might as well shoot his shot.

It seemed to be worth the risk as Scott chuckled and said "Sure, why not," he shrugged with a very familiar smirk. The smirk he had on whenever Jimmy would swear he'd do something nice for Scott just to have another nice thing thrown in his face. Or be pulled by the lapels of his shirt into a make-out session that likely leads to them leaving dinner plans for later.

"Got it, you're number eighteen," Jimmy did his best to answer with similar levels of confidence. And a wink he hoped wasn't too flirtatious.

Coconut caramel brown sugar latte with double whipped cream. It's as much of a mouth-full to say as a sugary punch to the face. Scott's favourite drink, which luckily was within the shop's policy. And had other baristas who hoped they'd be making interesting drinks looking at Jimmy with jealousy. He completely ignored them, focusing on making this the best drink he's ever made and he made this particular drink many times. While writing down the number on a cardboard ring that went around the cup Jimmy hesitated for a second. Scott would not mind if he... He might as well try. Scott was the type to like getting a number written on his cup.

"Number eighteen?" Jimmy called out and Scott almost skipped to pick up his coffee. Just coffee, Scott did proper meals and not two bagels for lunch and no breakfast. "Coconut-caramel brown sugar latte with double whipped cream," Jimmy listed off without a stutter. "I hope I remembered it right," he grinned.

"Perfectly," Scott chuckled back. "It's great seeing you... I shouldn't hold the line, but I hope I'll see you again, maroon's cute on you," he grinned.

"Hope to see you too," Jimmy waved as Scott left and instantly switched to business mode for the next customer.

Scott was internally screaming at himself for not asking for Jimmy's number. He missed him terribly in that year and was more than once considering trying to contact him. Having all of Jimmy's technology knowledge was nice and he sure knew more than the whole current IT department of the design company Scott was working for. But most importantly, Jimmy was an amazing boyfriend. He seldom insisted they drop any plans Scott made for them. And even tried to return it. Scott was more than okay with being the one doing all the spoiling of Jimmy.

He didn't even have time to take more than a couple sips of his coffee as his boss waltzed into his office - Scott was high rank enough to have his own small office. "Scott, we have a new head of IT and...," he announced as a very handsome, red-headed man with very pretty blue eyes followed him in. "I need you to show him the designer's side of our systems," the boss grinned and before Scott could even try to refuse left. 

'Damn you Sausage, why won't you send him to Pix?' Scott sighed internally. "I'm Scott, sorry about him..."

"I'm used to that, fWhip by the way. Is it normal to get someone's number on your cup around here?" redhead waved it off.

It took Scott an embarrassing couple of seconds to register what fWhip said. Cup. His coffee cup. That Jimmy made. And there was indeed a number on the cardboard protector on it aside from the number eighteen. "No... I just happen to know the barista," Scott quickly covered up his mild shock. Did it mean Jimmy wanted them to talk again? He dared not hope for more but a small part of him thought there might be a chance. Jimmy was never good a flirting, in the cutest way ever. "Anyway, get a chair, our current IT team sucks," Scott was not going to lie to fWhip and be completely honest about all his issues with the system that he was always told to send to IT who just ignored it. This time he was going to be heard.

And heard he was. By the time he was done, fWhip had a long list of things that could be improved and an even longer list of complaints to bring up with Sausage. "He might be an old friend but I'm not staying unless he lets me change some things. How can anyone work under those conditions?" fWhip huffed as they were wrapping up. Just in time for a late lunch. He was honestly pretty (and) cute when angry. Maybe if things didn't work out with Jimmy... Maybe. He didn't even know if fWhip would be interested or if he was into guys in general. But he could always try to be friends.

He really needed to check in on how things would go with Jimmy. Did he remember he left his guitar with Scott? He still had it, set up in the corner of his bedroom. At all not helping him move on even if he moved into a bigger and nicer apartment after his latest promotion. He still had several of Jimmy's things. Some of his old hoodies were probably Scott's most praised possessions. With Jimmy being considerably taller than him they were very comfy if he had to stay up and work on a boring project... 

Not now. Now he had to get lunch and text Jimmy. Just so he knows Scott's not angry and willing to talk to him. And to know it's actually Jimmy's number... 

*Hi Jim, it's Scott* he texted once he had his lunch all sorted out in a casual small restaurant next to the office building, great spot for lunch. He was absolutely not expecting Jimmy to answer anytime soon. Fully expecting blonde was busy with making great coffees. So imagine his shock when he did indeed get a text back.

*Lunch time in office world?* Jimmy's text asked.

*Yeah, late one, been talking to a new IT guy.* He missed texting Jimmy during his lunch breaks. But at the same time, he had no idea if it would be okay to ask Jimmy out... Not on like a date, not yet at least, just to meet up and catch up or something like that. *You free tonight? We could meet and catch up?" Screw it, he might as well ask and get it over with.

*Sure. Where?* 

It was happening. *Eight by the coffee shop? I know a cool little restaurant not too far from there, no need to dress fancy* Was Scott as excited as when he was asking Jimmy out for their first date after living together for like two weeks in a college dorm? No. He was much more excited.

*It's a date then, gotta come back to work, see you at eight* Jimmy texted, as if that wasn't a big deal and the word 'date' wouldn't spin in his head for the rest of his work day. How was he supposed to finish his sandwiches and fries now? Was he supposed to be normal and professional and not like he was about to go on his first date ever with his crush? He did still like Jimmy a lot...

He should probably respond. "See ya then handsome ;)* he said, feeling himself blush a little. 

Why was he acting like he was never on a date with Jimmy? They were and they kissed and all the more and... He was just excited to maybe have another chance with Jimmy. His new apartment had pretty good soundproofing and... He better not get his hopes up too much just yet. Now he needed to survive the rest of his work day. Quickly go home, change into something nice and casual and hopefully charm his way back into Jimmy's heart... Hopefully.

[dead-man-in-the-grave]

Season Switch (Really Just Means Floating In The Void For Months On End)

(Cross-posted on AO3)

part one | part two | part three | part four (you are here)

It's the end of the world.

All the Hermits' builds, their animals, their farms… the bases and shops and everything that's been done, all the impossibilities that had become possible with some redstone and spite…

Grian's Midnight Alley that he never got to finish the back of…

Scar's Swaggon that would certainly have even more wagons if he'd had the time to build them…

Mumbo's redstone machines that he'd spent hours upon hours tinkering with…

Impulse's factory that was almost completely empty on the inside…

Pearl's own tower, and her upside-down animals, and Padllama Co….

The Boatem Pole.

It was all gone, and it was all her fault.

She couldn't even reign in her powers for one whole season.

Could she get any more useless?

And even though she ruined their world, their hard work, their home… no one is mad at her.

No one has yelled. No one has glared. No one has disconnected her tethering cable and allowed her to drift off into the Void.

No one is mad, and Pearl doesn't understand.

She is the daughter of the Moon. She is a demigod. She's supposed to be better than this.

And yet, the Moon still fell from the sky.

She still failed.

…

Pearl wishes they would untether her; let her drift away, never to be seen again.

It'd be better that way.

Scar belts out the lyrics to Wellerman as loud as he can, clapping to the beat as he does. Mumbo and Impulse have joined in on his shenanigans, Mumbo hesitantly – almost shyly – and Impulse with reckless abandon. Grian rolls his eyes, but fails to hide his fond grin.

Pearl, though… hm.

Pearl seems bothered. Her knees are tucked up to her face, arms wrapped around her legs, and wings obscuring as much of her as they can. She's been like that ever since they jumped into the Void.

Scar knows the others have noticed, based on the worried looks they keep sending her, and they've also tried to snap her out of it. Nothing has worked so far, though.

The last lines of the song fade out, echoing out into the empty expanse around them.

It's quiet for a moment. A ringing makes itself known in Scar's ears.

"Are you actually done this time, or are you gonna start singing Drunken Sailor again?" Grian asks, arms folded over his chest, still smiling fondly. Scar laughs in turn.

"I could sing A Whole New World instead?"

"The last time you sung A Whole New World you dropped us both in the Boatem Hole."

"And what a fun time it was," Scar sighs wistfully.

He doesn't miss that, just on the edge of his vision, Pearl curls up tighter, tensing up.

But why?

She doesn't have reason to be tense at the mention of the Boatem Hole, at least, Scar didn't think so. Maybe something had happened near the end of the season relating to it…?

…

Wait.

The moon crashing into the server! That's why she's upset! She's a moon demigod, isn't she? She must think that the moon crashed because of her powers!

…Well, Scar has no evidence that it didn't. But in the event that it was her powers that had done it, he was sure it wasn't intentional, let alone malicious. It was obvious how guilty she felt from her disposition alone.

Scar decided he wouldn't let her feel guilty all on her own.

He just needed to figure out how to help…

Grian is worried about Pearl.

She's been… distant, lately.

Not physically distant, not at all - their tethering cables keep them connected even as they float through the endless darkness that is the Void - but emotionally distant.

Even when Scar went through what must've been his hundredth time singing one of the two sea shanties he knows, she didn't smile, or grimace, or emote at all. It was as though she turned into a brick wall.

Something is wrong.

Grian had tried talking to her. A few times, actually. The only result was her closing off more.

Does she still think that she's at fault? He thought they'd drilled it into her head that none of them blamed her for the whole moon thing. Maybe she's worried about what the other Hermits would think?

Grian shifts his wings, inadvertently pulling the sleeping forms of Scar and Mumbo closer, as they're using the feathery appendages as makeshift blankets. Impulse is also asleep on Scar's other side. And on the other side of Mumbo…

Pearl is curled into the same ball she has been for the past two weeks. Grian thinks she might also be asleep, but then again, the tense, coiled position her body is in would indicate otherwise.

Grian wants nothing more than to pull her out of the shell she's encased herself in, but she's been putting up one hell of a fight.

A sigh escapes Grian, and he wishes – not for the first time – that he could sleep while out in the Void. Something about his Watcher side absorbing energy from the endless expanse of nothing dashes any chance of him getting any shut-eye. 

In contrast, the others are rarely fully conscious. Mumbo and Impulse have been asleep practically the whole time they've been out here, and Scar has been awake only about half the time.

And Pearl… well, she's barely interacted with anyone aside from a few nods and the occasional murmur, so Grian's not entirely sure how often she's slept.

Grian licks his dry, chapped lips, and swallows down the painful lump that had grown in his throat.

"Hey, Pearl?"

At the sound of his voice, she only ducks her head down impossibly farther. Every muscle he can see is tense. She says nothing back.

"...Nevermind."

Grian closes his eyes, and lets his mind wander.

Pearl lifts her head from her knees, stretching her sore muscles for what must have been the first time in days. Grian's eyes are closed, his head is tipped back in a facsimile of sleep. She knows he can't sleep out here, the Watcher in his blood wouldn't allow it.

He looks peaceful, she can't help but think, with (his friends? partners?) Mumbo and Scar wrapped in his multi-colour wings, drifting in the endless nothing.

She wonders, passingly, why he'd called out to her. What had he been going to say?

Was he finally going to get mad at her? Finally, was she going to be untethered from Mumbo and Impulse, allowed to float away like the garbage she's sure she is? Or would he have tried to lie, say that no one blamed her for her own mistake? Left her to wonder when the other shoe would drop?

Well, it's not like it matters, anyway.

She resolutely ignores the stinging behind her eyes. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

She repeats it like a mantra.

It doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter.

She doesn't matter.

Pearl closes her eyes and feigns sleep, hoping that it would claim her soon.

She knew it wouldn't.

The Void is pretty boring, if Impulse is honest.

There's nothing to do but talk to the others and sleep, and sleeping all the time was getting dull.

There wasn't even any redstone for him to tinker with! How's he supposed to keep his hands occupied?

Mumbo seems to be feeling the lack of redstone just as much as himself, based on the way he's always wringing his hands together and looking stressed. Impulse has to catch himself from doing the same thing absentmindedly.

The only real source of entertainment is watching Mumbo and Grian blush and stutter whenever Scar decides to tell them they're cute completely unprompted. And even then, that's only when everyone is awake at the same time.

Impulse can't help feeling like a fourth wheel whenever that happens, though. The three of them are very cute together, of course, but when they all get caught up in their own little world together, Impulse ends up on his own.

Well, not completely on his own. There is Pearl.

He glances over at her, and like usual, she's got her head tucked against her knees, face hidden from view.

So, in other words, he's basically completely on his own.

He turns his attention to the three lovebirds and finds them, predictably, curled up together.

Grian's wings are wrapped around the other two, and he has one hand in Mumbo's hair. Mumbo himself is out cold, drooling a bit on the inside of his helmet where it rests on Grian's shoulder, and Scar is resting his folded arms on Grian's stomach as he blathers on about something inconsequential. He's kicking his legs back and forth in the air the way those high school girls in movies do.

They're good for each other.

Impulse shuts his eyes, and hopes that they'll be out of the Void soon.

"Um, guys?" Mumbo speaks up, staring off into the distance with furrowed brows. "I think I see something…"

There's a speck of… something, way off in the Void. Barely noticeable, but it was strange to see much of anything out here, so Mumbo had latched onto it, squinting and turning his head in an attempt to make sense of… whatever it was.

"What? Where?" Grian asks head swivelling around to try and spot it.

Mumbo points a finger between Scar and Impulse, who both turn and look in that direction as well. He even sees Pearl look up from the corner of his vision.

All five of them stare into the Void, searching for the thing – that looks somewhat like a star, now that Mumbo thinks about it.

It's green, or maybe blue? It's hard to tell, with how small it is, but it glitters and sparkles in the blackness like a lone star in the night sky.

"Well, what're we waiting for?" Scar pipes up. His wings sprout from his back, and he flaps them a few times. "We'll never know what it is if we don't get closer!" He flips around and starts flying toward the sparkle, pulling the rest of them along with him.

Mumbo catches Grian rolling his eyes before flying up next to Scar and pulling some of their weight himself.

As they fly closer, the sparkle gets bigger, and bigger, and bigger until Mumbo can clearly see green grass and trees, grey stone, and blue water and skies inside of it. Because it's not just a random sparkle…

It's a portal.

It's a portal back to the overworld!

The others also seem to realise what it is, because Impulse is grinning from ear to ear and Grian and Scar are flying them all at a breakneck pace directly at the portal.

Pearl, when he looks, has finally uncurled from her ball. She looks to be in shock, eyes not quite seeing.

At least she's not curled up like she was before.

Scar and Grian shoot through the portal, the rest of them careening through after them.

Gravity takes hold the moment they're out of the Void, the combined weight of Mumbo, Impulse, and Pearl weighing down the two fliers too much to stay airborne.

Boatem falls into a heap of bodies and wings and tethering cords onto the stone ground.

Mumbo ends up landing on top of Grian and Impulse, Pearl having landed on top of him, and Scar laying face down a short distance away. The space suits seemed to save them from most of the fall damage, but the now-unfamiliar weight of gravity made it hard to move.

"M-Mumbo…! I c- I can't breathe!" Grian wheezes somewhere beneath him. Mumbo gathers all the strength he can and rolls off Grian, making Pearl topple off him in the process.

They all lay there for a moment, reacclimating to the force of gravity.

Scar, still face-down, starts to giggle, and it doesn't take long for the rest of them to join in.

Even Pearl, who's been out of it since they entered the Void, lets out a wet chuckle or two.

Mumbo can't help but think they'll all be okay.

Grian is the first to stand. He disconnects the cords tethering him to Scar and himself, and then removes his helmet.

Impulse is next, cracking his back as he stands, and Mumbo follows suit.

"Uhm, guys? I don't think I can stand on my own," Scar says from where he's managed to roll onto his back and get his helmet off. His wings have disappeared and he's sprawled out on the stone in a way that just can't be comfortable.

Impulse, his helmet now removed as well, pulls Scar to his feet and allows himself to be used as support.

Mumbo detaches his own helmet from the rest of his spacesuit, and is instantly hit with what must be the freshest air he's breathed in forever. The way the spacesuits recycled air made it livable long-term, but it got stale fast.

He vows to never take fresh air for granted again.

"Wonderful of you guys to join us," a new, but familiar voice butts in.

Mumbo turns, and just a little ways up the stone hill is Xisuma. He's got his admin control panel open in front of him and is typing almost frantically. There are seven different portals open around him, just like the one he and the rest of Boatem had come through.

There are also several other hermits wandering about. Zedaph is pacing around and writing things on a clipboard (where he got that, Mumbo doesn't know), Ren, Doc, Keralis, and Iskall  have begun deforesting the nearby birch forest, and Beef, Stress, and False are mining the exposed coal and copper from the stone hillside.

"You're the first ones to come through a portal," Xisuma says, "So at least I know that will work for everyone else as well."

As though on cue, Gem steps through one of the open portals, stumbling slightly, most likely unused to the much more powerful gravity here than on Season Eight.

"It's taking quite a bit out of me to generate the server, keep it stable, and keep all these portals open, though," X says, condensation fogging up his visor. "I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it up."

"I can help," Grian, who had at some point made his way to Mumbo's side, pipes up. He makes his way over to X and his admin panel. "I've been an admin for three servers before, I know what I'm doing." Xisuma nods in thanks.

And that is the moment when Mumbo completely loses track of what's happening.

X slides the panel over to Grian, who, instead of typing like X had, he sticks his hands directly into it. The panel changes from glowing Xisuma's signature green to a purple similar to that of a nether portal.

X immediately slumps like the weight of the world was just lifted off his back – which is basically exactly what just happened, actually – and Grian's eyes start glowing the same purple as the panel.

"Who are we missing?" Grian eyes flitting back and forth, but looking at nothing.

Weird.

"Tango, Cleo, Joe, Wels, Cub, and Jevin. Everyone else is here already."

"Alright then, here we go…" The panel glows brighter than before. It hurts Mumbo's eyes, but he can't seem to look away.

And then, there's code on the panel, moving so fast Mumbo couldn't ever hope to read any of it, let alone understand it.

"Holy moly," Scar says, and Mumbo can't help but agree. Holy moly, indeed.

All at once, there are figures falling out of the portals. Every missing hermit Xisuma had mentioned were now there, in heaps on the ground.

"That's everyone, right?" Grian asks, sweat building on his brow. X, who'd been staring wide-eyed, snapped out of his stupor and nodded.

"That's everyone."

Grian rips his hands out of the admin panel, and it turns back to it's normal green and closes. His eyes stop glowing as well.

It's quiet.

"I think I'm gonna pass out now."

Xisuma manages to catch Grian before he hits the stone ground.

Grian knocks on the door of Pearl's starter base, wringing his hands together nervously.

It had been three days since they'd arrived in Season 9, or so he was told. He'd been unconscious the whole time, recovering from the huge amount of energy he spent pulling hermits through portals and helping Xisuma keep the server stable.

Y'know, the typical stuff that happens at the beginning of a season.

The door opens to reveal Pearl, bags under her eyes and hair clearly unbrushed under her jacket's hood.

"Oh," she says, clearly not expecting to see him, "hi, Grian."

"Hey, Pearl. Can we talk?"

"I-" Her eyes flit back and forth, never landing anywhere for more than a tick, and never meeting his gaze.

She's looking for an excuse, he realises.

"Pearl," Grian says, desperate, "please."

She huffs, and continues to not meet his eye, but she opens the door wide enough for him to enter.

He follows her inside, and she leads him to an oak table set under an azalea plant with two oak chairs to match. Grian's head is on a swivel taking in every little detail of her base. The floors are spruce and stone bricks topped off with a moss carpet, the walls are sandstone, terracotta, and jungle and birch wood, and the ceiling is made of oak and warped wood.

It's made of so many different woods and stones that it should clash, but Pearl somehow found a way to make it work.

Pearl sits down at the table, and Grian takes the remaining chair.

Neither of them speak.

"So…" Grian says after a while.

"So," Pearl repeats, "what did you… want to talk about?"

"I think you know."

She pulls her legs up onto her chair, pulling her knees close to her chest and obscuring half her face. It's reminiscent of how she was while they were in the Void.

She's closing off.

"And if I do…?"

Grian ponders his next words carefully.

"Well," he licks his lips. His mouth is dry. He fixes his eyes onto the table as he begins to speak. "If you did know… I'd say that it wasn't your fault, even if you think it is. And- and no one blames you, because the season would've ended eventually anyway. And yeah, maybe it was your powers that did it, but you can't be sure! There are a load of other factors that you had no part in! And… nobody could have stopped it."

He hears a small sniffle and a shaky exhale, and Grian looks up at Pearl to find her on the verge of tears.

His heart tightens in his chest.

"Oh, Pearl…" Grian stands from his chair and wraps his arms around her neck. Pearl leans her full weight into him without hesitation. He feels her arms wrap around his back and clutch at his sweater, and she buries her face in his shoulder.

She lets out a broken wail, muffled by the sweater. Grian gently pulls off her hood and runs his fingers through her hair. There's a wet patch forming on his shoulder.

Grian's not sure how long they stay like that. He eventually devolves into braiding Pearl's hair while she sniffles and cries out the last of her tears.

"...I got snot on your sweater…" She pulls away from the hug, seemingly to inspect the damage, but Grian waves her off. 

"It'll wash out."

Pearl looks like she wants to protest, but lets it go. She doesn't say anything more, but seems to have something on her mind still. Grian stays quiet, letting her sort out her thoughts.

Finally, she speaks.

"You're sure no one's mad?"

"Positive."

"You promise?" She says. She leans forward. Grian can see the desperation in her eyes.

He takes her hands in his own, and gives a light squeeze. She squeezes back, and Grian knocks their foreheads together.

"I promise."

[goodtimeswithsexymen]

[ID: GoodtimeswithScar’s Minecraft skin. He is dressed in a red suit jacket with rolled up sleeves, a mint-colored vest, and tan pants. A leather cord goes across his chest and over his orange tie. A handkerchief is in his breast pocket. /end ID.]

[ID: GoodtimeswithScar’s Minecraft skin. He is dressed in a long red suit jacket, with a dark green vest, a black bow tie, and grey pants. A tiny red hat with green ribbon sits on the corner of his head. /end ID.]

[aquaticwithnumbers]

Im wearing my swaggon co. sweater today and my grandmother asked about it so i got to talk about goodtimeswithscar at the dinner table lmao

[vocal-traitor]

Favourite scam- I mean buisness tycoon. Got to love this funky guy.

×

Do not steal/repost my art

[jestroer]

It is really convenient to draw swaggons for me because i already had a picture of them on my laptop background screen so now i do not need to look for it)

[harley-the-pancake]

I got my Swaggon merch and I’m so happy

[shadeswift99]

hermempirescraft...

id like to hear more abt what Queen Lizzie is doing, if you'd like?

Certainly!

- Because the Empires finale never happened in Hermempirescraft, Lizzie is still an axolotl goddess and therefore Absolutely Massive. The Hermits are delighted by this

- Lizzie barely even notices that at first because she's too busy being fascinated by Axosuma. How is this strange man like her...why is he so tiny...why does he make such funny alarmed noises when she tries to pick him up and put him in water so he doesn't suffocate on land...she just doesn't understand but she thinks he's funky and neat :]

- She eventually decides that X must have come from a damaged egg and is probably "a little touched in the head" from the experience, since he seems to be dead set on climbing out of the water every time she tossed him back to safety. That's alright! It's okay to need a little help! His instincts might be dismal, but she can work with that. She's committed to helping him out now.

(cut for length)

- She brings him over to Jimmy and announces that this is their adopted little brother now! Jimmy (who's just sort of generally had a Very Disorienting Twenty Four Hours) is completely ready to accept that yeah, that might as well happen, when X finally pulls it together enough to take off his helmet and explain that the axolotl look is really just armour (or shapeshifting if you prefer it that way)

- (Joel is now completely LOSING it laughing, because he totally knew this whole time and was just waiting for X to get a word in edgewise so Lizzie could figure it out)

- Lizzie is mildly disappointed but still appreciates the fan club (X doesn't bother to correct her)

- She then proceeds to scam every last Derpcoin out of the Evil Emporium because of course she does

- She also causes enough groaning with her relentless pun barrage to distract most of the other Hermits from how badly she's scamming them

- Scar and Lizzie scam each other so hard and fall for it so unquestioningly that after nearly three hours of business negotiations between the Ocean Empire and Swaggon Co they both walk away with a net zero profit from sheer scam canceling math

- Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe xB built a submarine? Yeah that's in the Ocean Empire now. Lizzie has decided that it's very cool and neat and she is going to use it as a vacation home. xB has no choice in this. However he is free to apply for a position amongst her royal staff (it's a competitive market though so his resume better be up to par!)

Oh and how could I forget! The most important thing! Piggyback rides. Lizzie gives so many of them.

[prismadog]

I've made a part 2 to the sad dragon mom with an egg that won't hatch fic thingy I made uh...a day ago? two days? idk, the other day. Also, I've named it "Making a Nest a Home" [not the best-fitting title but it's the best fit I could make with a stupid headache]

there's also an Ao3 thingy for it! Here's the link -> ao3: making a nest a home

here's a link to part 1 -> making a nest a home part 1

“Well, boys, I think we’ve done it,” Pearl says, taking a step back from their work.

“Have we?” Mumbo asks while Impulse says, “We finally did it,” and Scar says, “By golly, we did, didn’t we?”

The four members of Boatem stand back from the table, admiring their creation. On said table sits an extremely large nest - one big enough for a person, or well, a small hermit with wings and a dragon egg. 

It took them no less than a week, a lot of trial and error, and running on nothing but coffee and energy drinks to complete their nest. They had studied different types of nests from various books, asked False about her eagle’s nest, and even talked to Ren about his chickens and their nests. And then they went to work and did the impossible - they made a nest that couldn’t fall apart.

Pearl carved the base of the nest out of obsidian - a task that was far more difficult than she realized. Mumbo and Impulse put their heads together to make a machine that lines the underside of the base and can not only change temperatures based on the user’s preferences, but also expand and morph into a protective shield should the user need it to. Scar provided many materials to the others and spent his time making bedding for the nest, bedding that’s tear-resistant, is heavy enough to provide a feeling of safety but also is breathable so that one doesn’t get overheated - it’s also soft to boot.

“Well, it looks…functional,” Impulse says.

“Very functional,” Scar agrees.

Pearl nods, agreeing as well, “and it won’t fall apart.”

“Well, it uh, certainly looks all right,” Mumbo says, “but uh, maybe a bit plain?” The others look at him, heads tilted or brows raised, and he feels like he said something odd. “I, well, I mean, it’s sturdy, but uh,” he shifts where he stands, fingers twitching, “don’t you think that the nests we saw were, uh, I dunno, a bit more…fancy?”

They look at the nest again. Their nest looks good, but it doesn’t look like False’s or Ren’s. False’s eagle’s nest has mushrooms, and banners, and strings of bells, and moss. Ren’s chickens have nests with fur, and ribbons, and copper wire woven into the mix. And the nests they read about had all kinds of things mixed in, anywhere from sticks to paper to shiny strips of metal.

Their nest…is plain.

“Oh I know!” Pearl exclaims, “I’ll add one of my Padllama co. carpets!” and from her inventory, she produces said carpet, a pink one with colorful dots all over it. She drapes it over the side of the nest.

“Oh good idea, Pearl,” Impulse says. “I’ll add something too, but, I need to go back to my base and get it.”

“I have something too, but uh, it’s in Treeza currently.”

“Well, I, always moving two steps ahead, have an extra Official Swaggon Top Hat™ on me at all times,” Scar says, digging through his inventory for a long moment. “Uh…on second thought, might be in my other pants.”

“Go get your things so we can add them.”

“Right.”

“Okay.”

“Be back in a jiffy!” 

*

Mumbo is the first back, suit jacket in hand. “It’s been awhile since I’ve worn any of my suits,” he says, “But maybe Grian’ll like it?” He places said suit jacket on the edge of the nest next to Pearl’s llama carpet.

“I’m sure he will, Mumbo.”

Impulse is the second to return, one of his t-shirts draped over his arm but also has a bag of amethyst shards in his hand. “I didn’t know if the shirt or the amethyst would be better so I brought both.” He sets both items in the nest.

Scar is the last to return, a second top hat in hand, but he’s holding it upside-down as if he’s ready to pull a rabbit from it. “Sorry I took so long, guys, had to find my Hat Shulker.” He walks over to the nest, tips his hat, and three fish toys tumble out. “Jellie wanted to contribute too so she offered some of her toys,” he says, setting his hat in the nest.

They all take a step back to look over the nest again.

“Well, that’s better than before,” Pearl says, “But, it’s still missing something.”

“What if we get stuff from the other hermits too?” Impulse asks. “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind contributing if it meant helping a fellow hermit feel better.”

“That’s a great idea, Impulse! Grian’ll love that.”

“So, uh, do we go all as a group or uh, split up?”

“I say we split up so we can cover more ground.”

Pearl pulls out a map of the server and spreads it out on another table. “I’ll take the center here where Gem, False, Stress, and Jevin are. And I can stop by Etho and Iskall’s too.”

“I can visit the west here where Doc, Ren, and Wels are,” Impulse says, “I can stop by Cub and TFC’s bases as well.”

Scar glances over the map, “Well, I’m interested in seeing the Evil Empire so I’ll go there, then I’ll stop by Big Eyes Bay.”

“I guess that leaves Joe and Cleo, Xb and Hypno, and Zedaph for me, huh?” Mumbo asks. “Sounds all right.”

“All right then, boys, we have a plan,” Pearl claps her hands once, “visit each hermit and ask them for an item, explain the situation if you have to, but tell them it’s a secret and that Grian mustn’t find out.”

“Right,” the other three say in unison. They leave Pearl’s base and fly off in different directions.

Soon, they’ll meet up again, hopefully with an item from each hermit. And hopefully, they can cheer their friend up.

*

[carminite-wyrm]

Sunless Skies Hermitcraft AU ideas

So I've been playing quite a bit of Sunless Skies lately, and whilst yet another captain met a tragic fate, I had some ideas for a crossover AU.

This set of ideas was also inspired by some of @sweetest-honeybee's Fallen London AU art that crossed my dash on my main, as well as this (also Fallen London AU) absolute banger of a fic by @redstone-sun. Seriously, you should go check it (and the rest of their AU series) out.

The Boatem Crew

A group of merchant mercenaries, the crew of the Boatem run a rickety locomotive that actually is a lot sturdier than it looks, and a lot deadlier, thanks to their Chief Engineer.

On paper, the Captain of the Boatem is one Mumbo K. Jumbo, however, in actuality, the one who does the most Captain-esque duties is Grian.

Mumbo is actually the Chief Engineer, and the one responsible for kitting out the Boatem with its deadliest weapon: the End Crystal cannon, an obsidian-lined monstrosity of a cannon that can and has taken out multiple Scrive-Spinsters in one shot.

Pearl is the Boatem’s signaller, who has the propensity to sometimes send messages out backwards or written upside down. Most of them are used to it by now though.

Scar is the First Officer, and constantly talks about figuring out how to add a wagon compartment to the end of their locomotive, because surely, if they’re jetting around the High Wilderness in a train, they should be able to add a carriage to it?

Scar also is the CEO (?) of Swaggon Incorporated, a small-ish trading company that not many people are sure what it trades in

Side note: Scar’s hat is full of secrets

Impulse is the Quartermaster, and is responsible for why the Boatem has had so many run-ins with Chorister Bees, because of his candy-making side business which, as one would expect, uses quite a bit of Chorister Nectar.

The Boatem Crew are generally based in the Reach, well away from most other parts of the High Wilderness, trading in Chorister Nectar, Impulse’s confectionaries, and whatever else happens to end up in their cargo hold.

Big Eye Co.

This dynamic trio are entrepreneurs located in Eleutheria, whose current project is to build more pit stops in the region, which is known for Not having as many safe ports as some of the other regions in the High Wilderness.

They all are captains of their own locomotives, they just hang out a lot

Bdubs’ mascot is a small pony named Lulu, most wonder how he manages to keep an entire pony in his locomotive, considering those things aren’t overly spacious, but it works out.

Tango and Bdubs have set up a base in a floating mountain-shaped landmass, there is a fossilised (?) cyclops inside of it, that now has a sign slapped in front of it naming it Fifi.

Keralis’ manor holds a small hoard of clocks stolen/acquired/taken from Bdubs, ranging from grandfather clocks to tiny little pocketwatches. It seems to be a running thing between them, every time they meet up Keralis gets a new clock that Bdubs produces from…somewhere?

Zedaph, Scientist Extraordinaire

Zedaph is off doing science in the Traitor’s Wood, in the Reach, somewhere in there, at any rate.

Most think he’s associated with the Summerset academics, but honestly he’s as much a cryptid to those academics as he is to most others in the Reach and beyond.

Gem + False

Have a cool and neat set-up in the same region of the Reach as Titania and the Leadbeater & Stainrod’s Nature Reserve, in which they are neighbours living on practically-adjacent pieces of land.

Living out the ideal cottagecore vibes even though there’s bees every now and again

Sometimes get visits from the Boatem crew, sometimes for shenanigans, and sometimes for Scar to do a sales pitch

Gem is a business partner (?) of the Big Eyes Crew in that she helps send them resources for decorating their new port stops but they…get into a bit of a Heated Discussion over the pros and cons of the light-hued saplings she sends them every now and again.

Ren + Doc

They’re a pair of adventurers Co-Captaining a refurbished locomotive that is affectionately referred to as the Van.

Their current adventure? To investigate the secrets of the High Wilderness.

How is it going? Who knows, all they have is some odd conspiracy about why the suns in the High Wilderness have started to dim, or go dark, like the one in the Reach.

Yes, they’re on their protagonist ambition arc

[mcytblrconfessions]

C!Goodtimeswithscar is a plague on my conscience but i do not want to be cured

i revel in the pain that comes with this infatuation and as much as it drags me down i would not trade it for the world (please send help)

I have not been able to stop thinking about the funny capitalist man and it is driving me nuts. I have become an 1800s poet in my dms with my friends and the head of Swaggon Co. is my muse

[infinitewinderword]

OFFICIAL THING FOR #CustomBoatemHat Dear Hermitblr . This tag was inspired by the Swaggon Co. reinvented by Mr. GoodTimesWithScar ! Go wild with your creative ideas! You too can also have your own Swaggon Hat that's perfect for you! You can participate in any form of creations, from Modeling, Illustration, or text form! Me and my friend Vince on twitter came up with this! I hope this goes well and you all have a great time ! If you have any questions feel free to drop them below!