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yannaryartside · 16 days

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CARMY NEVER WANTED TO CREATE A MENU WITH SYD.

AND WHY THAT IS THE CORE THEME OF THE SHOW

PART 1: THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIEVES

So, one of the bases of creating an efficient character arc is to give the character something they want, and something they need. In the pursuit of getting what they want, the theme of the show and obstacles will show them what they need. Most of the time, they need healing from an emotional wound that prevents them from growing into the ultimate version of themselves, capable of winning the challenges of the story. I will try to explore Carmy's wound and, more importantly, the lie that created that wound.

In 'The negative trait thesaurus" by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi, it reads:

"Wounds are often kept secret from others because embedded within them is the lie-an untruth that the character believes about himself."

When I started therapy (disclaimer: this is not professional advice; I am just talking from how I interpreted all of this), I was introduced to the concept of "limiting beliefs:" lies we have told ourselves about our own nature or the nature of the world. The most difficult beliefs to leave behind are those established in our early childhoods, and we told ourselves those lies to make sense of the world, to make peace with realities we were not equipped to comprehend yet.

Some examples of lies people belive:

"I am too stupid to learn anything; my teacher said so" "It was my fault that I was molested." "I am a bad person for wanting a different life."

When people believe these lies, they will act accordingly, maybe attracting situations that hurt them but keeping the lie active in their lives. They may self-sabotage or create bonds with people who also believe the lie, even if it doesn't seem this way.

In some cases, people may develop complete personalities or behaviors to prove the lie wrong, but deep down, they still believe in the lie. Carmy falls into this last category. This is where we find the most contradictory parts of his personality, how he can act shy and insecure in some instances and appear confident and even aggressive in others.

Long post underneath.

THE RESENT OF A MOTHER:

We can only assume here because I think Storer is gonna let us know more about this soon, but I think I got an idea of this wound when I saw the only moment Carmy was alone with Donna on "Fishes."

I have a lot of things to say about Donna herself, but let's begin with the obvious: the conversation in this scene had little to do with the dinner itself. This was a woman stating that she felt alone and not valued, probably due to being abandoned by her husband and having to overwork herself at the beef to support her 3 kids, all while being a single mother. We don't know if this feeling of abandonment is something she has carried since childhood, but in the state of current womanhood, it wouldn't be uncommon. The work of women (especially mothers), particularly the emotional labor, is rather invisible and not valued at all.

But again, this is something she has used as fuel to resent her kids, who, at the end of the day, didn't ask to be here. Her anger has to go somewhere since she cannot direct it toward the people that ctually caused it. To get to the point:

THE BEARZATTO SYBLING DYNAMIC

Carmy said, "You are not alone; I am here with you." (This kind of comes back to telling Syd she was not alone at the end of the season.) This scene is about a kid trying to communicate to his mother that he loves her and trying desperately to connect with her, to get her to express her affection for him as well.

It tells me that growing up, he felt like he had to "earn" her affection. Donna likes to make her kids feel guilty about her unhappiness, so the kids feel that they are constantly walking on shells because they think their mother hates them, or at least that she resents them and that it is their responsibility to fix it.

In the scene, Carmy asked,

"What is so hard, Mom?"

I think what he was actually asking is, "What is so hard about being with us, to love us? What did we do to you that made you resent us this way?" He is asking because he wants to know, to finally understand. Why do you drink, Mom? Why do you yell? Why do you say such hurtful things?

When she answers, "Nobody makes things beautiful for me," you can see in his face the disconnection. He knows he can't do anything about that.

Then, a crucial part in the scene occurs when Donna calls him "Michael, " which indicates that the only one of her children who could make her feel happy was Michael, or at least that is how the other two kids felt. You can see the hurt in Carmy's eyes in the scene because this answer dismisses his effort to connect to his mother in his own right. She asks him to just leave. He offers to wait to connect with her. Then, it comes to the most chilling moment on the scene, the "we have a problem" using his full name, with resentment in every word. She hugs him while crying, kisses him, and then slaps him.

This is rejection. There is a book called "The Five Wounds of the Soul": wich are Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice. I think Carmy's wound is rejection, for never earning his mother's love, particularly comparing himself to Michael.

Michael took responsibility for the Beef, finally giving their mom a break. It was Michael's job to make sure everyone was having a good time, to compensate for the discomfort that caused being in Donna's presence, to make sure all of them stayed as a family, which was Donna's intention, so Michael thought he had to make that happen for her. Therefore, Michael is the only one of her kids who succeeds and makes her happy. We know Donna rejects Natalie and Carmy. About Natalie, we can write another whole essay.

THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIVES

According to this scene, I think Carmy thinks that her mother didn't love him because he is not Michael; in fact, he is the most "not like Michael" someone could be. He was shy and stuttered and didn't have friends or girlfriends, comparable to Michael's ability to control every room he was in. Carmy was sensible and no macho alfa as Michael presented himself to be. Carmy left home and the family business, and both Michael and Donna expressed that they feel like he thinks he is better than them. Michael admitted later to admiring Carmy's work in Copenhagen, but Donna never did. carmy grew up having to live with the crumbles of Donna's attention that Michael left behind, wondering every day what was so wrong with him that made her reject him, and wondering what he could do to change that.

The lie that Carmy belives, could be sumarize this way:

I need to earn people's love. I need to always go the extra mile, doing the most possible at all times to earn people's love.

This all goes back to his trauma with Michael. It goes back to his career as a chef and how he became the best. He didn't need to succeed on a larger scale in the culinary industry to earn Michael's respect and love; he needed to be the best in the world, so he did that. He judges his own social abilities, comparing them to Miachae's. He left that promising career only because of Michae's death. He got the girlfriend Michael wanted for him (not saying it was the only reason, but it was there).

PART 2: WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS HAD TO DO WITH SYDNEY?

Well, what does a person who feels they always need to do the most? They do the most. I want to bring you back to the moments Carmy had to develop menu ideas with Syd on s1 and s2.

When Syd suggested items for the menu in s1, he gave her an inconclusive, not enthusiastic "maybe."

When she had to actually cook the thing for him to approve, he tried to make her feel small about it. He felt the need to remind her that she was "impatient and green," according to her previous bosses. He commented about her possibly ruining the flow by using time to cook her recipe. Yikes all around, but the core here is that he was treating her like an enemy, like competition, while she was trying to save the restaurant with what they had on hand to use the most efficient solution.

Then, when Carmy tries the dish and feels stunned by it, he has to make an ambiguous excuse on the fly and just finishes every chance of them using the recipe by saying, "is not ready yet"

And what does he do next? He goes to show the crew a recipe that is extremely complicated for the level they are operating at currently—they said so themselves. I think the recipe is a variation of Donna's butter chicken recipe. To put a nail on that coffin of his intentions to earn her love and approval at the end of it all.

But why does he do all this? Because he needs to be the hero, subconsciously, he is still that small kid begging for acceptance and love; he must go the extra mile. He cannot accept Sydney's help and partnership, because that will take away from him earning what he wants on his own merit.

In S2, he seems unenthusiastic about starting the menu in the first place. Then Claire comes along, and he tries to make it work with Syd and the menu, but I think he subconsciously thanks the universe for not having to go to his core wound. That is what self-sabotage is. That is why he bailed on the food tour with Syd, using such a stupid excuse as helping somebody else move out and never mentioning it again. He never asked her what she liked or what ideas she thought of. For most of the creative process, Syd is alone, working on her own creative crisis. The menu ends up being like two recipes they made in collaboration and then all of his family's traditional recipes. It is two of Syd's recipes and the rest of Carmy's. Then, desserts Marcus did on his own. The collaboration was superficial at best.

All of this creates the core theme of the show. The Bear was once a chaotic place (like their childhood home) that needs to evolve into an efficient, peaceful place built on love, support, and mutual collaboration like a functional family should be. Sydney is the member of this found family that forces Carmy to confront his core wound and learn he can actually be good enough while still accepting help. Therapy probably will play an important part in this theme, alongside with Carmy learning there was nothing wrong with him in the first place, that earning your parent's love is not something a kid can do.

Thankyou for reading. Gif and images are not mine.

#sydcarmy #the bear meta #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear fx #the bear #sydney x carmy #carmy the bear #carmy x sydney #the bear hulu #donna berzatto #michael berzatto #natalie berzatto

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gglitch1dd · 1 month

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About the Cheating Dilf Izuku, I'm curious to know what would have happen if Izuku arrived again a minute too late?

Seeing reader die in the hands of Jigsaw since every story and anime i see.

The lovable and caring husband turns into like mean and abused after their wife dies like in Demon Slayer, Rengoku Shinjuro?

So yeah! Curious to know what would Izuku do once reader is gone and what will happen to the sprouts and how they would cope up with the fact their lovable mother is gone?

Also! Loved the mini series!🫶🫶 Hell it made me cry! I should be studying for the exam but damnnnn need some angst 😭😭

You mentioned a Rengoku and I perked up, @freshherowinnercloud. I LOVE Kyuojiro. I'd want all his babies. Either way, back to my main man.

Well... I think Reader and Izuku are very close in a sense that Izuku could very well not see a point in living anymore because of the fact that Reader isn't there. She gave him everything in his life, his home, his children, the things that push him to continue. But she's gone... that would be a very difficult situation for everyone.

Warning: Heavy depression, Reader's death, oldest sybling syndrome, grief

Toshinori entered his parents father's room. The curtains were drawn just like always, the room dark and stuffy. Toshinori entered the room, the room silent. Lying in bed was his father. Toshinori glanced at the lunch he had brought him. Not even a bite out of the sandwich that he had made.

Toshinori glanced down at the dinner he brought with him. He sighed as he walked forward, to where Izuku's side of the bed was. He replaced the lunch that was there with dinner that he knew he wouldn't touch.

The fourteen year old boy wasn't even sure if his father had even left his room since after the funeral.

The day you had passed was a dark day in the Midoriya household. It was the day that the very sun that kept the garden that was the Midoriya family, stopped shining.

Toshinori still couldn't get the sound of his father's scream in pure agony in the hospital out of his head. The sound of a man who had lost his wife and very meaning of existence.

You were murdered by Jigsaw, the villain who was rotting in prison right now, but was still breathing. You had gone to pick up Shoyo from preschool when the villain had attacked. You sacrificed yourself to save all those kids including your son.

And yet, Toshinori couldn't have helped but be so mad at you for it. Why did you have to do that? Why did you have to go on and get yourself killed?

You weren't a hero.

You were his mom.

And yet the moment you died, Toshinori didn't cry. He didn't cry once, not in public that is. Even at the funeral, when his grandma had put the boys all in black suits and stood next to her son at your funeral. Toshinori and his father were the only ones that didn't cry at the funeral. However, Toshinori was sure his father didn't cry for the same reason he did.

Izuku simply had no tears left on that morning to shed, and one could see it straight how much he was but a cusp of the man he once was. Standing there motionless, silent, rigid. Inko and Toshinori received all the condolences, people just having to take one glance at the Number One hero to see that he was in no state to even be there.

Since then, Toshinori tried to keep his brothers together. With the help of his grandma and his godpaerents, Aunty Mina and Uncle Hanta. Although he never asked for help, it was nice that they pitched in. Buying groceries, taking the boys to school, making lunch for them. All things Toshinori first denied them needing, but accepted anyways.

It was hard on all of the boys, not having you here. The house was quieter and empty. It was cold and lacked the warmth you brought.

Asahi buried himself in studying. He barely did anything else, other than start fights as well. Toshinori had to go to guardian meetings for parents because of the fact that his father just wasn't able to. Toshinori couldn't even talk to his eleven year old brother because it was like talking to a whole different boy.

Hero had stopped smiling entirely. Toshinori hadn't heard a joke or laugh from him since the day you died. According to letters his teacher was sending, the seven year old wasn't doing well in school and he wasn't participating. A lot of his teachers were accomodating and were trying to help him pass but if he continued like this, he would fail the year. All Hero did was play sports, but at least he had that.

Shoyo still tried smiling. The five year old, given to his name, tried to be as happy but clearly couldn't quite understand that you were never coming back. He would wait by the door sometimes, Toshinori having to carry him to bed because he thought you'd come walking through.

Koda however, he was just three. He probably wouldn't even be able to remember your face in a year's time.

And through all this, Toshinori barely just passed his UA entrance exam, only getting in through recommendation and nothing more considering he was too busy keeping track of all his brothers and keeping his disconnected father alive, to study for the written exam.

Toshinori wondered how on earth you did it. How you kept track of five boys all at once. How you managed to keep this family together through everything.

Because Toshinori was at his wits end and he realised something painful...

He'd never be you.

Toshinori stopped himself from leaving the master bedroom. He dropped his head. "You know... you're really selfish." He said outloud. "You are really really selfish."

He was met with silence was more. He turned to look at his father who's back was turned away from him, looking to your side of the bed where it was empty and it didn't smell like you anymore.

Toshinori tried to fight the rising bile of disgust and anger that was in his throat. "You just lay there and do nothing while I'm doing my best to keep us together!" Toshinori shouted as he motioned to his father. "Ever since mom-" Toshinori's throat closed up, being unable to see say it. He scowled disappointed in himself, tears flowing to his eyes. "You haven't been here. I need you to be here! We need you! Your sons need you! We don't have anybody else!" He shouted.

He was once again met with silence, dead stagnant silence.

Toshinori squeezed his eyes shut, letting the fat Midoriya tears flow from his eyes. "I lost my mom..." He let out weakly. "Your wife... I know how it feels but please... Dad please..." His voice cracked as he stared at his father's form. "I can't do this by myself. It's suffocating me. Please..."

His father didn't respond. He didn't move. He didn't speak.

Just nothing.

The fourteen year old lost all emotion to his face. He let out a scoff as he wiped his face with his sleeve. "What did I expect from you?" He let out lowly as he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Toshinori went straight to his room, placing the plate on his desk and closing his door. He walked straight to bed, too tired to even look at whatever homework he had to do or whatever studying he should probably touch up on. He fell back, staring up at the ceiling.

Suddenly his phone screen lit up.

Weakly he grabbed it off his bed side and looked at the screen.

(1) Memories from this day a few years ago.

Toshinori knew that sometimes the cloud storage recommended photos and videos from years back, but this was an odd one.

He tapped the notification. It was a video. Toshinori sighed, debating whether or whether not to watch it. Not seeing anything better to do, he tapped it.

The video started dark first but then light appeared. The camera work was shaky but then a laugh was heard. The camera panned to a young Toshinori, just a year old, who was sitting in a high chair with his chubby face covered in icing and cake crumbs. "Toshinori!"

The sound of his mother's voice made him still. Tears burned at his eyes just hearing your voice and your laughter.

The little baby looked up at the camera before laughing. The sound of his father's own laughter sounded closer than yours. You stepped into the frame with a cloth in hand. "You've got cake all over your face, baby." You said amusedly as you tried to clean him and his chubby grabby hands. "He's just happy about his birthday cake." Izuku said as he held the camera. "You only turn one once." You chuckled as you finally had your son clean, his big eyes blinking as you picked him up out of his chair. "That's true..." Finally your face was in view. Beautiful and lovely as you looked at Toshinori with so much love and devotion. "Oh my big boy. Look at how big you are already? My little hero." You laughed brining your nose to his. Toshinori giggled in the video, putting his now clean hands on your face. You smiled dearly, putting a kiss to his face. "Happy birthday, Toshinori!" Then the camera flipped and his father was there too. Izuku laughed as he pulled you and Toshinori into a hug, the three of you together. He had a bright smile on his freckled face. "Happy birthday, Toshinori." "Izuku did you take a picture?" His father moved his face close to the screen. "Oh this is a video." "Izuku!"

At the tone that you said his father's name Toshinori couldn't help but laugh. You always said his name like that when he says or does something wrong. The video ended with that. And that's when Toshinori remembered that you always used to send this video to his phone on his birthday.

Which only meant one thing.

Toshinori scrolled up to see birthday wishes and messages that were unopened on his phone.

It was 11pm...

and today was his birthday.

Izuku wasn't sure what it was about what Toshinori had said but the moment the boy left. He felt some semblance of control over himself. He had been stuck in a constant state of nothingness, feeling nothing, experiencing nothing, thinking about nothing, other than the fact that you weren't here anymore.

But now... now he felt like you'd be so disappointed in him.

Izuku buried his face in his pillow.

His boys. His wonderful boys that you gave him and look at what he was doing to them.

He couldn't for the life of him, feel like a responsible adult. In his mid fourties, having lost nearly a third of the weight he was before you had died and here he was rotting away like a sad worm.

Izuku reached over to grab his phone that was probably dead, to his surprise wasn't and he tapped the first person he thought of calling.

"... Izuku?! Is... Is that you?"

At the sound of his mother's voice, Izuku felt like putting down. He wasn't worthy to talk to her when she was spending everyday here, taking care of his own children while he felt like a failure.

"Izuku! Izuku if its you... please say something..."

"... Okaasan..." His voice was hoarse from lack of use and honestly he couldn't rememeber him ever sounding like that.

But his mother knew her son when she heard him and she let out a relieved sigh. "Oh thank God. I'm sorry I'm not there. I had to come home and get my laundry washed and buy a few things for the boys. Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Izuku didn't answer immediately but he let out a shaky breath. "I... I need help."

-Glitch1d

moral of the story, Izuku gets help and he tries to come back into the boys' lives. He disconnects for the most part. But it's understandable, but still painful

#mha x y/n #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya angst #izuku midoriya angst #deku angst #bnha #deku x reader #midoriya x reader #dilf midoriya #dilf izuku midoriya #dilf izuku x reader

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