#this regards also to the post I made recently about being tired of love and like feeling like I have none left to give | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

musingsofsaturn · 4 years

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Just Imzadi Things™

Fandom: Star Trek The Next Generation

Ship: The Enterprise Will Riker/Deanna Troi (no I’m not going to stop making that joke)

Rating: T because adult themes are lightly suggested. There are also mentions of death.

Words: 2,100+

Summary: Five things that become perfectly normal when you share a telepathic bond with someone you’re pretending not to be in love with.

Author’s Note: Okay so I read this post from trekkingamongststars and loved the implications of them anticipating each other’s needs and just... the accidental intimacy of their bond? So I was thinking about all the lovely little ‘I’m in love with you but trying not to be because I value our friendship’ things that probably happened as Deanna and Will reconnected. Anyways I am just so soft for these two so I hope you enjoy this fluffy little collection of Just Imzadi Things™.

~ Saturn

O N E

Betazed was a warm planet. Its climate was almost tropical, and the air was often thick with hot humidity that nurtured the vibrant plants of the gardens and natural spaces of the planet. Deanna loved the sensation of sunshine on her skin, enveloping her in comforting warmth. She’d grown up with it, and a sunny day would always remind her of home.

In contrast, the Enterprise was a decidedly chilly starship. With so many people from all different cultures and climates, she understood that the temperature on board had to suit the average comfort level of the crew, but Deanna still sometimes wished that that average level was just a few degrees higher.

Fortunately, she was able to adjust the temperature in her own quarters. It was kept high, and she loved the flood of warmth that escaped when she opened the door and stepped into her private space, where she was free to suit herself and be properly comfortable.

The first few times she’d been in Will’s quarters, the rooms had been the same temperature as the rest of the ship. And why wouldn’t they be? He was familiar with Alaskan winters. He hardly needed the level of warmth she did in order to be comfortable.

But as she started to visit more often, and as their telepathic connection strengthened, the temperature in his quarters had started to increase over time. She knew why; he’d commented on how warm her rooms were the first time he stepped inside, and had begun to pick up on her mild discomfort at how cold the rest of the ship felt. Whether that was telepathy, or just him reading her body language, she couldn’t be certain.

What she could be certain of though, was that Will was gradually raising the temperature in his quarters, even if she wasn’t there to appreciate it. Over a series of weeks, so he himself could acclimatise to it, he’d successfully adapted his own living space to suit her needs and make her comfortable.

That thought made her feel warmer than any Betazoid sun ever could.

T W O

The first time Deanna brought Will some food without asking, he hadn’t even realised that he was hungry.

He’d been writing reports and reviews for an hour that had slipped into two, then four, until he didn’t even recognise that time was passing. The chime of his door pulled his mind away from his work abruptly, and his voice was hoarse from lack of use when he invited the guest inside.

Deanna entered tentatively, carrying a bowl of something that smelled fantastic. “I brought you some soup. You need to eat.”

“That’s very kind but I’m not hung-” The statement was interrupted by a ravenous growl from his stomach as she placed the bowl in front of him on the desk, pushing the PADD to one side as she did. She smiled knowingly at him as he quietly said, “Thank you.” He tucked in.

After that, it became a regular occurence between them.

It wasn’t a conscious thought; they never asked the other to bring them food like a waiter. Sometimes, like the first time, they didn’t anticipate that it was needed at all.

But they could sense the subtle need for sustinence within each other. Will knew exactly when to turn up at her office with a chocolate mousse when she’d had a difficult appointment. Deanna seemed to arrive on the Bridge with perfect timing to deliver a coffee when she could sense his focus wavering. And once, they’d met in the corridor on the way to each other’s quarters, carrying food that they hadn’t wanted to eat alone when they knew the other would benefit from some company.

More than the food, it sustained them both to know that the other was thinking about them. To know that their needs were recognised and that someone cared about relieving them, that was the kind of nourishment that would last a lifetime.

T H R E E

Starfleet officers are trained to accept that they and their colleagues are at risk while serving. Everyone aboard the Enterprise has a tale of losing someone in the line of duty, whether they be a friend, family member, or lover.

For more senior officers, they even accept that their decisions and orders could be the reason that someone dies. It is a great burden and responsibility, and it takes its toll more than anyone ever seemed to admit.

In front of others, she accepted his cool and collected demeanour with regards to a recent mission. No one could have anticipated that there was an explosive device from a long-ended war still buried at the entrance to a small cave. And Will never could have predicted that ordering a member of his away team to quickly investigate that cave would have caused an explosion that knocked them to the floor and killed the young ensign instantly.

A young Bajoran, the ensign had only been assigned to the Enterprise that week. She had just begun to form friendships, and had shown that was a friendly and compassionate member of the crew. Will had sensed that, with experience, she would have climbed through the ranks of Starfleet. She had a promising career ahead of her.

Had.

The whole time he was discussing the incident with the captain, he maintained his composure. He filed the necessary reports, wrote a sincere statement to the ensign’s family, and later returned to the surface to continue their investigation of the area. To the outer world, he seemed measured; not uncaring and detached, but not emotional and defeated either. He was the model of a First Officer coping with a hard situation.

Deanna recognised his inner turmoil, however. She could sense his guilt, the feeling that he should have been the one to die, not the one who gave the order that snuffed out the woman’s life when she’d barely had chance to live it. She could tell that he was reeling from the terror of being caught on the outskirts of the blast, and the horror of realising that a member of his team hadn’t survived. There was an aching sadness in him; the knowledge that a loving family was about to learn that their daughter wasn’t coming home weighed heavily in his mind.

Later, when his shift had ended and he finally had a chance to return to his quarters and retreat into his thoughts, he barely got through the door before the weight of the day slumped his shoulders and made his large frame seem to collapse in on itself.

But Deanna was waiting for him. Her inky eyes met his as he started to cry, and he knew that she was the only person in the galaxy who could understand how he felt in that moment.

Wordlessly, she wrapped her arms around his body, pressing as much of herself into him as she could. The pressure was good, reassuring, and he returned her embrace with shaking limbs.

His face burrowed into her shoulder as sobs racked through him. She didn’t say a word - there were none that would help anyway. Instead, she continued to hold him close, permitted him to be vulnerable and exposed without any judgement or expectation.

There was nothing she could do to relieve him of his grief, but standing in her embrace, crying like a small child for the first time in years, Will felt the closest thing to peace that he’d experienced that day.

F O U R

Deanna awoke with a start.

It wasn’t the first time she had suffered from a nightmare, and it wouldn’t be the last. Gasping for air, she sat up and ran her hands through her hair. The images that had haunted her were already slipping away.

In the dark, she fumbled towards the replicator and quietly got herself a glass of water. Her heart was still racing slightly, adrenaline coursing through her veins, but it had only been a dream and she knew she would be alright.

After finishing her water with slow sips, she went back to bed. She felt calmer, and knew she was tired, and it seemed liked the sensible thing to do. With a few deep breaths, she closed her eyes and tried to empty her mind of thoughts.

Almost an hour later, she was still awake.

She hadn’t been able to get herself comfortable - the material of her pillowcase seemed to scratch at her cheek, it seemed she had one too many limbs to arrange them in a way that suited her, and a sudden leg cramp in her calf had been the final straw.

Deanna didn’t really know why she chose to leave her own quarters, a robe wrapped over her nightgown for propriety’s sake. It was a short walk to Will’s quarters, and it seemed as though no time had passed at all before she arrived at his door.

Hesitating, she almost turned to return to her own rooms. Will was definitely sleeping, and she felt guilty about waking him. Not to mention it seemed so pathetic to go crawling to him because she couldn’t sleep after a bad dream.

However, in the instant that she decided to leave, the door opened for her. She hadn’t pressed to ring for permission, hadn’t overrided any security systems, and there was no way Will had known she was there and just opened the door to let her in and stop her dithering.

No, he had programmed it to open automatically for her, just as it would for him.

Touched at this unexpected display of trust and familiarity, Deanna stepped into his quarters. She made her way to his bedroom, and quietly climbed in to lay beside him.

He didn’t wake up as her arm wrapped over his chest and she snuggled into his back, seeking warmth. Deanna was lulled to sleep at last by his soft breaths, and the knowledge that she was safe and welcome here.

F I V E

As the pair of them strengthened their Imzadi bond, it seemed that their feelings throughout the day had become shared.

Will would be sat on the Bridge and feel a sudden rush of satisfaction. He smiled to himself every time he realised where it had come from. He knew that Deanna had had a long day full of appointments with members of the crew, and she had decided to treat herself to a chocolatey dessert. That satisfied burst he felt had been her tasting the first bite of a sundae or piece of cake, perfectly balanced with chocolate, cream, and fudge.

Deanna discovered that watching Will play poker was almost as entertaining as playing herself. When she had folded her hand, and it no longer mattered if she used her empathic abilities, she loved to zone in on Will’s feelings, and he opened his mind to hers when she was no longer playing. In many ways, she became his ‘tell’, as she had to work hard not to grin when she experienced a rush of mischevious energy when he bluffed, which was only amplified when the bluff worked.

Will came to recognise how the people Deanna interacted with could affect her mood. He knew when she was with Beverly, because he could physically feel her mind relaxing over their telepathic link. He also knew when the two were engaging in salacious gossip, as a feeling of giddy curiosity came over her as Beverly disclosed various secrets. The Imzadi bond between Will and Deanna made it so he knew exactly who she liked and disliked, and to what extent. And he once learned just how strong that bond could be when Lwaxana Troi made a comment that was so intensely irritating to Deanna that it made Will’s eyes roll without warning from four miles away.

Deanna learned that she could always get an honest opinion on her outfits, whether Will knew he was sharing it or not. She never minded the flood of attraction that leapt from his mind to hers when he saw her in some of her more flattering dresses. People can’t control their natural impulses of attraction like that, and she had learned not to read into it. However, she knew that Will would be embarrassed if she ever acknowledged his more lustful feelings, so she politely pretended not to pick up on those feelings when they arose.

Will spent years being convinced that he was learning to empathically block his more erotic feelings from reaching her mind. Since she never even flinched when his feelings became far more than friendly when she walked into a room in a certain blue dress, he was certain that he could appreciate her beauty and his own fantasies without it reaching her.

It was only when he arrived at her quarters in a particularly revealing v-neck wrap one evening and she wasn’t quick enough to mask the warmth of attraction that filled her mind (and by extension, his), that he realised just how much their telepathic bond had probably been betraying him all along.

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hlvraik · 4 years

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i was just wondering if you would be willing to give a couple of fluff headcanons for each character, both their normal ver. and child ver.! if you were okay with that! 👉👈

Oh absolutely I would!!

[Quick side-note, this is going to be a long post, even if I only wrote one HC regarding the normal ver. and Kid-verse- so I'm going to hide the majority of them under the cut!]

Gordon;

On his days off of work, Gordon could usually be seen in his apartment in a messy bun, sweatpants, socks, and his iconic M.I.T. hoodie. and before he would have to pick up Joshua from school, he would either be attempting to clean up his entire apartment, only to clean for a good twenty minutes before getting distracted and singing and dancing with a broom to ABBA, or he would be marathoning movies on the couch while curled up in a blanket eating strawberry ice-cream. [Mainly 80's movies such as Ghostbusters or Back to the Future-]

While trying to make it out of Black Mesa, K!Gordon was known notoriously for hiding tiny friendly alien xen creatures, mainly snarks, in his hoodie, and every time the Science Team would expect that Gordon was hiding aliens from them, they would ask them to empty his hoodie of 'all of them'. Just imagine Darnold bending down to Gordon's eye level and asking politely to release all the snarks, and he would end up releasing 40 of them only for Coomer to speak up and say '-now Gordon, Doctor Darnold ask for you to release ALL of the snarks remember?' Then all of a suddenly he would release into his fluffy ponytail and pull out two more- [The Science Team were okay with Gordon having a couple of alien friends, but they weren't okay with hundreds of them-]

Coomer;

Whenever Coomer would forget to give Bubby their mandatory routine morning hug before they went to their separate departments, he would simply use his extendo-limbs to reach across the facility to give Bubby a hug. [Coomer works in Anomalous Materials with Gordon, while Bubby worked in Advanced Biology Research] He would sometimes also decorate his arms in green sticky notes that had cheesy 'i love you' quotes or simple questions on them like 'where should we go out for dinner tonight?', and sometimes Bubby respond by peeling them off and sticking news ones right back on- so whenever Coomer retracts his arm he would see that they're coveted in blue sticky notes from Bubby. [He saves everyone in a glass jar] 🥺

K!Coomer accidentally got his extendo-limbs stuck within a vending machine once as he was trying to steal a couple of snacks for him and the others. He didn't really mind it as he could just stretch out his extendo-limbs for forever, so he wasn't really 'stuck' in a way. However in the end, Coomer went up to Gordon and asked if he could help with his little problem, and with a one tired sigh and one swing of a crowbar, Gordon freed Coomer from his vending machine prison. With that, Gordon begged Coomer to just leave the vending machines up to him rather than attempting to do it himself- let's just say that wasn't the last vending machine Gordon had to free Coomer from- [k!bubby's sort of responsible as he encourages Coomer to do so- they just want a pop tart-]

Bubby;

Bubby would take advantage of his pyrokinesis for small mundane day-to-day tasks that individuals may simply overlook. Examples being: keeping his and possibly Coomer's cup of coffee, or hot chocolate, hot to the touch, always managing to make a perfect bag of popcorn, as he's would just heat up the individual kernels that didn't pop after taking it out of the microwave, and they would simply just keeping themselves and Coomer warm underneath the covers in bed whenever it's cold or snowing outside.

Although K!Bubby has a good grip on their pyrokinesis, they still doesn't have full control of it yet- Every time they would sneeze, there would be a slight chance that the tips of their hair, or a random object near by, may end up catching on fire, same could be said whenever they're throwing a 'temper' tantrum or whenever they're simply embarrassed. [Don't even get Gordon started with hiccups-it turns into a game of hot potato ashjsks-]

Tommy;

Tommy's an excellent skater, so much so that he traded off his normal work shoes for roller skates. He could usually be seen skating through Black Mesa halls, either by himself, or he could be seen with Sunkist pulling him. Tommy recently got Darnold a pair of roller-skates and you bet whenever they're both on their break, or they just want to kill time- Tommy would be teaching Darnold how to skate in his own lab. [Darnold has to admit, that Tommy made skating look easier than it seems.]

Along the way trying to escape Black Mesa, K!Tommy would occasionally either conjure up or would find random stickers that he would find laying around the facility, and with all stickers he would end up covering the other kids in stickers. Not even Gordon's H.E.V. suit was safe as near the end it was covered head-to-toe in stickers. [Also whenever G-man would appear, K!Tommy would try to cover his suitcase and his suit in stickers-]

Benrey;

Besides the Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Benrey is an amazing singer. He could be found singing or humming random showtunes whenever he's bored, or whenever it's karaoke night, and you bet whenever he's in the car with anybody he sings to whatever's on the radio. [Oh- and you know that post I mention where instead of Gordon cleaning up his apartment he would just end up singing? Well, Benrey decided to join in with him one time- let's just say that Gordon didn't enjoy the unwanted attention as he was scared and startled he ended up hitting Benrey with a broom-]

I just want to ramble about K!Benrey's Sweet Voice for a bit- Not only is it a tad bit out of pitch whenever they do it, but the bubbles end up coming out a little weird as well- like, they're more fragile then solid if that makes sense in a way. [They appear more wobblily like bubbles and they will pop so easily even if you're so gentle with them- not to mention the taste of them are extremely s w e e t.] Also the effects of the Sweet Voice are either highly random and don't correspond with their colors, or the effects are hardly there- example being getting hit with a sleep SV bubble and instead of falling asleep you only yawn. Finally, whenever Benrey's asleep, every time they open their mouth, they would produce Sweet Voice bubbles-

#hlvrai au #kid!au #Gordon freeman #Gordos Feetman #dr.coomer #dr.bubby #tommy coolata #benrey #Kid!Gordon #Kid!Coomer #Kid!Bubby #Kid!Tommy #Kid!Benrey

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stories2you · 4 years

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Stand up and Smile

It’s been about a week or two since my very first NCT fic? Well, guess what? i’m writing this right after I found out what’s going on with Jaemin. I did watch the performance of both Ridin’ and Quiet Down. I noticed Jaemin wasn’t himself. But I’m not that kind of person who judges that quick just by his mistakes. I assumed that he was tired. I mean, I can’t relate since I’m not an idol or anything. Imagine having to perform the same songs over and over everyday during the promotions, of course all of them will be tired.

However, I was very shocked when I saw the posts regarding knetz and some “fans” said about Jaemin. About him dating his co-actress? And apparently, according to this one person who started this false rumors, said that the girl shared his Netflix account? And they had matching accessories? Uhm… So now there’s a new trend to point out that idols/artists are dating by sharing their Netflix account? And those matching accessories are apparently the UNICEF accessories if I recalled right. Do correct me if I’m mistaken.

Okay, I’m getting ahead of this a bit too much. In this scenario, reader is Jaemin’s younger sister.

You were on your way home from book shopping when your phone started ringing. You answered the phone right away, “Hello?”

“(Y/N)? Are you free?” It was Jeno. He doesn’t sound like himself. You felt something wasn’t right and asked without hesitation, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Jeno sighed and said, “Have you read the recent articles? It’s about Jaemin.”

You knew he would call you about that. You had just read about those false articles about your dear brother, “I did. Don’t worry, I’ll come to you now. Are you at the dorm?”

“Yeah, I’ll leave the door unlock.”

You quickly rushed to the Dreamies’ dorm. As soon as you reached their dorm, you opened the door and saw Chenle and Jisung outside. They had a gloomy look. When they saw you enter, they stood up and went towards you.

“Where’s my brother?” You asked. Jisung pointed to his room, “He’s in there with the hyungs.”

You nodded and went into Jaemin’s room. You saw him leaning on the bed head with his knees to his chest. Renjun, Jeno and Hyuck was comforting him. Renjun looked up and saw you by the door. He ushered the two out. Before they left, Jeno placed a hand on your shoulder and whispered to you, “He’s really down. Please raise his mood up.”

You nodded and went to your brother. You placed your bag of books on the bed. You crawled beside him, “Oppa? I’m here. You can let it out.”

Jaemin looked up. His eyes and cheeks were puffy from crying. You wiped his tears with your palms and placed a kiss on his forehead. You then pulled him into your arms. An arm wrapping around his head and your other hand patting his back gently.

“(Y/N)-ah.. Did I not do well enough? Must I leave? Am I worth enough to do this…? Why–” You cut his sentences off,

“You idiot! Stop it! And yes, oppa. You did well. In my eyes, in our parents’ eyes, in your members’ eyes, you did very well. Small mistakes does not make you worthless, oppa.” You raised your voice at him.

Before he could retort back, you cupped his face in your smaller hands, “Oppa, I know that I don’t understand what you’re going through. I’m just a book lover who’s full of imaginations. But what I want you to know and remember,

You’re imperfect. You make mistakes. But that’s okay. Everyone does. You can never impress others fully, and that makes you a human. Those so-called “fans” can hate and spread false rumors about you. But you know yourself best. You clearly know that out of all those haters, you have more fans that love you and appreciate your efforts. You also have us, your family. We’re always here to support you.”

Jaemin was stunned when you blurted those words to him. His once cry baby and shy little sister. He could see how much you’ve grown into a mature young lady. You sighed and continued with a warm smile, “Oppa, stand up and smile. Czennies and I.. All of us, we love your smile. Your smile brings happiness. You don’t have to force yourself to always be happy. Your members are around to comfort you. I’m here too. Please believe me when I say that you did well. You really did, dear big brother.”

The boy continued staring at you. You giggled at his shocked face and hugged him as tight as you could. You rest your cheek on his dyed blue hair. His ear rested on your chest, listening to your gentle heartbeat. You heard him let out a small chuckle and wrapped his strong arms around your waist.

“Thank you, (Y/N)-ah. I’m sorry for making you worry. I’ll stand up and walk forward. I’ll smile more. For you, for everyone.”

“And for yourself, oppa.” You released him from your arms. Jaemin had his usual bright smile on his face. He placed a hand on your head and caressed your hair. You wiped his dried tears with your hands again and squished his cheeks,

“There’s the smile I love~ Come on, let’s go and see your members. They’re worried about you.” You pulled him with you.

When you both left the room, the other boys rushed to their beloved Nana. Jaemin had his smile plastered on his handsome face. The boys were glad that he’s okay.

“Thanks for being there for me guys. Sorry for making you worry.”

Jeno wrapped an arm around his best friend’s shoulder, “As long as you’re okay, bro. We’re here for you. Don’t worry, we’ll make those antis look down in shame with our efforts.”

The rest nodded their heads in agreement. You smiled at their bonding. After they released Jaemin from their group hug, the boy glomped on you. His clingy brother mode is back on. A few moments later, he eyed his members,

“Who called my sister here anyway? How did you get her number? (Y/N)-ah, are dating any one of them?” He spits out his questions.

The other boys eyed and pointed at Jeno. The black haired boy looked away. Jaemin had his judging look, “Jeno… What did I tell you…?”

“T-to… stay away from… your sister…?” He gulped.

You felt Jaemin’s grip on you tighten, he had his killer smile and said a little bit too happily, “Well… I forgive you this time, Jeno. Next time…. If any one of you try anything to get my sister, you’ll know.”

You sighed and patted your brother’s shoulder, “Don’t worry oppa. I’m not dating any one. Even them.”

Jaemin cuddled you in his arms and carried you to the dining area. He placed you on the chair, “So… food?”

Cue rest of the boys rushing to their seats.

When dinner was served, the boys started to make jokes and you even joined them occasionally. You stared at your smiling brother, you couldn’t help but smile as well when he laughed at Donghyuck’s jokes.

After dinner, Renjun and Chenle cleared the table and did the dishes. You were preparing to go back home, before you left, Jaemin stopped you.

“Wait, I’ll walk you home. It’s dark outside.”

The both of you walked together hand in hand. The two of you had moments of teasing and joking around. When you arrived outside your apartment, Jaemin’s hand tighten in yours. You looked up to your brother, “Is there anything else you need?”

Jaemin nodded, “Yeah…”

“What is it?”

“Can I stay for awhile and play with Coco?” He asked cutely while blinking his eyes. You giggled and let him in to play with your fluffy white cat.

Well… That’s it. I did my best. But please, just don’t hate on someone who made a small mistake. It may be fatal for a live performance, but idols are not robots. They’re humans. Whatever or whoever Jaemin, or any other idols, are doing or dating, please don’t just straight away bash them. It’s not wrong to criticize, but its very wrong to just assume false things about them.

Putting that aside, let’s send Jaemin and the rest of NCT supportive comments and appreciate their hard work.

**Reposted from: @mayuarts

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btsandvmin · 5 years

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Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN

I had to make a second one because the length of the first one was getting way too long. If you are curious about some of my older asks here is the link to my first collection post - Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN

I have this post because I feel some of the asks I answer are worth saving, for me personally, and perhaps for you as well. But I don’t want to put them all in my Masterpost where I want to keep it a bit more structured for my longer posts and analysis. So for asks that are more about answering specific questions or about general things or my feelings I will put them here.

Asks are written more in the moment than my usual posts, so they might be less accurate as it’s all mostly from the top of my head. The newest ones will actually be on top, and then they will get older going down the list. I’ll update it regularly as I answer more asks. :)

Look at jhope's interaction with maknae line

Sorry for spamming with asks

You're so right about how any ship can be possible if you focus on it

I reject any idea of a couple being pushed to protect another

What do you think of vmin’s busan forehead kiss?

About tae changing the choreo of fake love

What do you think of that famous ji/kook trip together ?

"Friends" doesn't speak about a friendship to me and the title seems like a way to "hide" the true meaning. Thoughts?

I honestly do feel his "best" friend is only ever needed when it's convenient to him

When j/k wore matching shirts asked them something like are u guys dating Its so differnt from his rn to vmin

Looking at th and jm for what they are or represented to be their bond shouldn't be taken at face value. Just reminding that jealousy amongst bandmates do exist

Jimin kissed tae on the pretext of kissing tanny. tae blanked out for a few secs after that

Jin in Jimins Festa profile this yr called Tae his "Bf" and then the next word is "best friend"

I dont think vmin or any other ship in bts for that matter are in any form of relationship right now.

Kind of agree with vmin not spending much time together outside of work & things they do/say barely even give off that "possibly a couple" vibe in general

IF feelings are involved, who do you think fell first and why?

You already said that you ship them, but do you think that they're real?

I found it kinda weird how jimin apparently "didn't know" 4 o'clock was inspired by him

Have u seen that one radio interview in the past Th openly called out jm for liking men?

We never see them hangout tgt I mean we have seen ji/kook tgt more often and tae with his wooga squad

What did you think about jimin playing the video game using tae's acc while the latter looked from behind?

When tae posted 'lets keep going for a long time i only have u' they probably only knew e/o for about 2 yrs and now we also know that at that time they still argued and fought with e/o alot. Yet they felt so strongly for their frienship.

What are your thoughts about tae choosing " my time " to recommend it to a non army.

If we look at their personalities tae is more of introverted and shy these days while jimin is more outgoing and loud. But when it comes the them jimin is always the one who seems cautious

Is it my imagination or is Jimin VERY loud lately? I feel like the roles have somehow been reversed.

The timeline of the dumpling incident really confuses me.

Why do i feel like vmin dont hangout outside of work anymore

Just read your ji/kook vs vmin post regarding festa and I agree. you can tell that jm gets very serious when it comes to tae

A possible sexual relationship between Jimin and Tae. I've seen subtle hints where this might be happening behind the scenes like the recent bang bang con

Whenever joon says stuff like 'what a nice friendship/bcoz he is your friend' vmin have a very neutral or blank face

When do you think their friendship turned into something more?

Did u see how tae coloured jimin's name on the soft board with purple.

Jimin recently in this festa says jk is his soul brother

Nj nearly always tries to underplay vmin's bond.

Sweet Night: “Sharing my fragile truth That I still hope the door is open Door'

I feel like jimin was reluctant to talk about the dumpling incident probably bcoz it involves him getting drunk?

Your opinion on the whole "that's smth a couple would do" "you two look like a couple" for ji/kook vs "it's cause he's your friend "

What ur opinion is on the new kdrama that is based on homosexuality.

Tae has many a times mentioned wanting to have kids or wanting to be father.

Taehyung has always talked about having a family, children and wife etc.

I personally feel the maknae line in general have been advised not to do lives alone tgt bcoz of the intense shipping

I spend hours reading your posts and I could never get tired of it

I have a doubt about vmin recently V is so close to JK it seems like V avoiding jimin

Taehyung talked about the movie Call Me by Your Name and its soundtrack

I honestly like how unpopular vmin are.

Let's say JM and TH have other partners - do you think said partners would be okay with a whole song of vmin declaring each other as soulmates?

In the end there is no moment that is unique to a ship. do you agree?

Some vlives are arranged by the company and sometimes members themselves when the find free time they go live.

What was the point of making a decision tght to come on vlive tgh infront of the fan to then not do it?

It cant be the company stopping v and jm from doing a live can it?

Do you the think the reason vmin dont do vlive is because taehyung's feelings are one sided?

Theory on a possible reason on why vmin has not gone to do a vlive on their own for so long?

On bon voyage 3 j hope mentions how v and jk were hugging each other in their sleep.

Ji/kook is obvious (ear nibble) and Tae reacting blank to Vmin moments

But why they dont have funny bro handshake like v/kook?

You are so delusional like seriously how do you function in real life

You know how vmin called eo soulmates. The term can also be taken in a platonic way too right

If there’s a real ship in bts, can you give me your opinion on who?

Tae kissing jimin's cheek after they won an award in some music show (About ship edits)

I think vmin is real. Can you do a Sweet night analysis because in my opion the song dosen't match with the drama

Why are you a Vmin shipper if you don't think Jimin is gay or at least bisexual?

I don't blame V and Jimin for not doing Vlive together

You know that blurry picture of vmin in 2014?

Tae and jk seem like the members who are most non straight to u and also that jimin might be straight so then isnt it more possible for t**k***k to be the couple?

Do you think that vmin are straight?

Can you tell me what makes you think jk is not straight

Ppl connect sweet night and 4 o' clock with vmin After tae's live yesterday n i m also seeing some ppl being offended by it.

Why do I sense that Tae has more of crush on Jimin (and realized it) but Jimi is oblivious?

Will you still publish that long vmin and lgbt in korea analysis.

Even namjoon said they should go live to discuss about their song.

I dont really consider minjoon vlive as one they did themselves. it was mostly organised by the company

Maknae line avoid vlives and its really weird that jimi would do it with rm but not tae

Shouldnt it be easy for them to go live tght than anyone else?

Tae is very reluctant or scared to do a vlive with jimin

In the past month when vmin did mention about the song they just made superficial comments

Hi 💙 do you write vmin fics?

I also feel that jm is nervous to talk about the song even though he said he will in the comeback show

If jimin doesn't go live today as well maybe we can get a vmin live?

Vmin antis say vmin are not friends irl and use the fact that they are never spotted hanging out offscreen as "proof"

Will you do a Vmin throwback - 2019?

Can we even be considered delulu anymore for thinking not all of this is a coincidence?

Sweet night doesn't really fit the couple relationship in the drama

What do you mean when you say 'not being delulu'?

I dont know why after listening to sweet night i feel very nervous?

Maybe the lyrics to SN are very well just about the drama/webtoon.

Do you think the songs lie and stigma are related ?

Namjoon talking about Friends 2 - Making excuses

Namjoon talking about Friends 1 - Can’t write about them

About the “Hello my alien” line in Friends

Do you think they gone do fansing this period of promoting?

Jm said when he wants to make and gift a song if he finds someone he loves and he actually helped write n produce the melody of chingu

Omg Ive been crying over the vmin song lyrics ever since they came out.

Thoughts about the song and what you took out of it

Its not a light hearted thing to call each other soulmate

This kind of debunks the christmas song theory… i feel sad like they are commercialising their friendship

Jimin is partly involved in the making and it will be about Jimin and Tae’s bond

I fear that vmin will become the next larry

Chrismats song, smile awards. Arent those awards previously decided and even the words written for them by the company?

I was wondering if you're going to write something about bv4 and all the vmin we got there

Do you think that vmin say they love each other truly or for fan service?

Recently i watched a vkook video to compare

Do you know how exactly vmin met?

Whenever I do get the chance to focus on Vmin it’s usully one of three things

At the airport Tae had his arm around Jimin's shoulder but removed it quickly when they arrived in front of the cameras.

I don’t care if people don’t ship Vmin romantically. But with Vmin doing things like this you can’t really blame us if we do.

I got a looooot of asks on the Christmas song and I will adress the ones I have left all in one go

The reaction in bv was probably cause he wants to visits there and jm got there first

Vmin talked about tannie and how they went to visit tannie at tae's parents house

Just do it how you feel comfortable, we are waiting for your analysis

What video is the gif you post with this : Jimin and V talking about going to the Sapporo snow festival and playing in the snow together

This break was an opportunity for them to be around other friends and family so maybe they just wanted to spend this time apart

Do you really think vm are soulmates? Sometimes i feel like we might be over using this word for them

Once again thank you for all the asks you send! And also sorry for not being able to keep up and answer them all. I’ll try to answer some old ones as well whenever I can, and I will keep adding some of them to this list. I hope you found something interesting. Thanks for reading!

#vmin #vmin analysis #btsandvmin #Btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin masterpost #vmin masterpost #Btsandvmin answer #95z is love #my post #keep loving vmin

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boymeetsweevil · 6 years

Text

For science 1/7 - (NSFW)

Grouping: Reader x Nerd!Jungkook

Word Count: 6.1k

Warnings/Themes: masturbation (vaginal) & voyeurism, unrequited feelings, eventual sex. is this crack yet? lol there’s a plot i swear.

Summary: Jungkook asks you to let him watch you get off. For science.

A/N: posting this now because I’ve been working on it on and off for like a month and im tired of looking at it and jk’s bday is coming up HAPPY BIRTHDAY JK and i’ll be too busy with school plus im almost 7k into the second chapter so..

part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

Your eyes burn in protest as you scroll to the top of your terminal window once more to search for the error that is fucking your code up. It’s been hours of work and you still haven’t managed to get your program to run even though the homework assignment is easy in theory. In fact it’s just like a problem that Jungkook said the professors would probably give you in your sophomore year, and here you are in your junior year seeing such an ‘easy’ question. With him, it had truly been easy, though. Jungkook was a better computer science teacher than any professor you’d ever encountered. Thinking back to early high school days has you smiling softly to yourself.

You miss sitting closely together, heads sometimes touching, as you both bent over a problem while he explained why it looked hard, but was actually something you could do in your sleep. The wide smile he would give you when you completed competition questions in minimal time would always set your heart fluttering.

Your phone vibrating brings you back to reality. The caller ID reads ~JK~ and you swoop in to answer the call. If the time in the corner of your computer is right (and it is) he should have already opened his decision letter from the PhD department.

“Hey, what’s the verdict,” you ask as soon as you accept the call. You know there’s no other reason why he’d call you when you were supposed to meet up in a few hours for weekly game night.

“I got in,” his voice is soft, but you know him well enough to be able to hear the joy mixed in.

“Congratulations, Kook! That’s amazing, I knew you would get in, they’d be crazy not to accept you. Oh my god, we should celebrate.”

“Yeah, I was thinking maybe we could go out for drinks before heading back to mine to play tonight. You in?” Now you can practically hear the smile in his voice.

“Of course I’m in. Let me just pack up and I can meet you. Where are you--the department lounge? I’ll come over.”

“Actually,” his shy tone has you sitting down slowly, returning your jacket to where you had it slung over the back of your chair. “You don’t have to leave right away. I was gonna try and call Yoori. You know, to tell her the news. And then tell Tae and Hobi, of course.”

“Oh. Yeah, no, that makes total sense. I should probably finish this code for Choi’s class anyway. It’s due on Sunday, but I’m almost done. Might as well turn it in early once I find this error.” Your hand scrapes at the sides of your jeans, looking for something to grab at.

“Well then I guess I have time,” he chuckles, “Your typos are always so tiny that they take hours to find. Let’s meet up at the bar in 2 hours then?”

You wince. Although it’s not at all a mean-spirited jab, you’re no longer in the mood for the friendly banter at the mention of Yoori, Jungkook’s long time unrequited love.

“Sure. See you then,” you hang up before he has the chance to say goodbye formally like he always insists on doing.

You put your phone down and berate yourself for getting distracted. If you were the brilliant Yoori, you wouldn’t have even made the typo in the first place. But you weren’t Yoori because you didn’t have the fortune of being born four years earlier and four times more beautiful, elegant, or intelligent. And you didn’t have the luck of being so much of a genius that you could skip years ahead of school like Jungkook either. So instead you would just have to chug along, always watching Jungkook chase Yoori.

You go back to scrolling through your code only to find the error a third of the way down. Jungkook was right, the typo was tiny--a misplaced equals sign. You sigh and run the code to make sure it’s perfect this time, and when it is you send it in to your professor to be graded. You consider heading home and using the extra time to make yourself look nice. Not that there was anything wrong with your oversized university t-shirt and jeans, but suddenly you think maybe things would be different for you with regards to your love life if you tried a little harder. You’re about to leave the library entrance that’s closest to your dorm, but you get a text from Jungkook.

6:41 - I called Yoori and she said she heard about my deal with RealiCorp and she wants to link up when she gets back on campus!

You narrow your eyes at the text. Jungkook had recently sold some software he developed to an up and coming gaming company that was supposed to make the imaging on immersion headsets better. He had made a pretty penny and was covertly offered a position at the company, but it was also a large victory for the computer science department at the university and his picture had been circulating around the department website for weeks. You suppose she finally saw it while she was taking a break from her research project off campus and decided to answer his calls for a change.

You text back what you hope sounds like a cheerful congratulation and decide to just go to the bar instead. What’s the harm in a few rounds before the rest of the crew arrives?

The harm would have been miniscule at most if you hadn’t been in your feelings, but when Jungkook, Tae, and Hobi arrive, you’re three rounds in and a little bit sloppy.

“Woah,” Hobi shouts, giving you a too strong pat on the back when he sits in the chair next to you. “Someone started a little early. What’s the occasion, are we celebrating something for you too?” Jungkook shakes his head with a sheepish smile and goes to sit beside you, away from Hoseok.

“Nope. Just getting ready for an evening with your loud ass.” He gives you a pretend pout and flags the bartender over. Tae sits next to him and gives you a little wave and smile.

“Two whiskeys, make mine a sour and make his straight. From the high shelf.”

“Hey now,” Taehyung’s eyes widen comically, “Are you forgetting that payday isn’t until next week? I’ll take the regular whiskey down there, please.”

“Don’t worry. Kookie said he was paying with his RealiCorp money,” Hoseok stage whispers into your ear, “He’ll probably cover your round too.” You swat him away and turn to Jungkook, raising a questioning eyebrow.

“You know I’ll cover yours. The rest of them, I don’t know.”

“What? Come on, you’re the youngest,” Tae whines, less than satisfied with his cheap whiskey shot.

“Shouldn’t that mean you guys pay for me?”

“N-no! Because you’re actually our senior now. You’re graduating this year, I’m the oldest technically but I’m not graduating until next year. We know these two aren’t graduating until the year after that,” he points to you and Tae, “Plus, you’re going to the PhD program next year. You should definitely be paying for us.” Hoseok has a point, you and Tae nod sagely to back him up.

“Fine,” Jungkook sighs, pushing his thick glasses up the bridge of his nose, “I’m in a good mood, so why not.”

“I bet you are,” Tae’s grin is big and catlike in the low light of the bar. His gaze a little lewd. “I would be too if I was one step closer to finally bagging a girl like Yoori.”

You look down into your beer bottle, the green glass suddenly much more fascinating than the conversation at hand.

“Did you hear,”Hoseok turns toward you,”Yoori is gonna come back soon and when she does he’s gonna make her Mrs. Jeon.”

“I’ll be sure to throw rice during the wedding,” you snark. The bartender brings you a new beer without another word. Taehyung howls at your comment.

“I’d kill to have a wedding night with her.”

“Hell, I’d kill to have a bathroom stall night. With anyone,” Hoseok sighs, “It’s hard out here for a comp-sci major. Right, guys?”

You hum in agreement. It had been a while since you’d last gotten laid.

“You’re right. I can’t even remember that geology minor’s face. Do you remember her? What was her name? Mara? Kara?”

“Sara,” Hoseok provides with a grin, “I think she has a thing for comp-sci majors. Kook, you ever hook up with Sara?”

Jungkook shyly traces a finger around the rim of his empty vodka class. “I haven’t hooked up with anyone.”

“Ever?” You try to keep incredulity from bleeding into your question.

“Ever,” he nods. He hiccups a little and all of the sudden you totally believe that Jungkook is a virgin.

“Dude, wait, I thought you hooked up with that one chick at the music festival last spring. Am I the only one who saw her?”

Tae nods in agreement. “Yeah, she gave you her hotel room key and everything.”

“It wasn’t like that. She told me her brother was there for a robotics tournament and I asked her if I could see the bot.”

You smile despite your sour mood. If there was one thing you loved about Jungkook it was his blind enthusiasm for STEM. Even if it made him a little oblivious to other things at times.

“Well, you better fix that whole virgin thing fast, bro. Chicks like Yoori probably want someone with experience. In more ways than one, if you catch my drift.” Hoseok nudges Tae with a wry smile.

“That’s not just a Yoori thing, most people don’t want to have to coddle someone in bed unless that’s, like, their kink or something,” you take a large swallow of beer.

“Wait,” Tae says, eyeing you like he’s had an epiphany, “You’re a girl--”

“Didn’t we establish this 2 years ago? When we met?”

“No, no, I mean you can help Kookie so he doesn’t drop the ball with Yoori.”

“Yeah, right,” you snort, “Help him how? Give him a sex-ed lecture?” You turn to laugh with Jungkook, but he’s looking at you seriously. Or as seriously as he can when he’s tipsy with unfocused eyes and blushing cheeks.

“You…don’t want to help me?” His voice sounds pathetic and small, making you feel bad instantly.

“Oh, Kook, it’s not that I don’t want to help you. But think about what that implies.”

“Is it because I’m a virgin?”

“Oh my god, Kook, there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin don’t listen to us. We’re idiots.”

“Then why don’t you want to help me?”

Because I like you. You swallow hard, your throat suddenly dry. You obviously don’t say that, though. Instead you sit back in your bar stool.

“I-I would if I could, but I don’t know how to help you,” you finally say.

“It’s fine. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I guess the thought of being with Yoori makes me a little stupid.”

Desperately you search for a solution. Instead of finding one, you call the bartender back and order a round of tequila shots. Jungkook gives you a sad look but doesn’t ruin the mood by not taking a shot. You order two more rounds because somehow, even though he’s drunk, he still looks dejected. After your third shot you can’t stand the way his shoulder slump.

“You know what,” you slur loudly, drawing three pairs of eyes to your face lazily. “It’s getting late and we might not get to play Fortnite this weekend. Let’s all get to bed so we can be up early tomorrow to play.”

Tae points a wobbly finger in your direction, eyes suspicious. “When you say early, you mean after 2pm right?”

It takes twenty minutes for everyone to get their shit together enough to leave the bar. Tae and Hoseok keep losing each other in the bathroom. Jungkook keeps forgetting that he has to pay and tries to ask the bartender what he thinks about sub-atomic particle physics. Even though you’re drunk off your ass, you somehow manage to keep yourself responsible enough to wrangle Tae and Hobi out of the bathroom and guide Jungkook through the motions of swiping his card and signing the bill. The four of you then squeeze into the back of an uber. Hoseok whines about being lonely while sitting in the passenger’s seat. Jungkook’s bumps his hand against yours until he can firmly grasp it and get your attention before you pass out.

“Hey, can I sleep on the couch,” he whispers in your ear. His breath smells like alcohol and limes. You turn your head to chase the scent away and rest your head on his shoulder. You yawn.

“Sure. No problem, buddy.”

Your apartment is the first stop on the route and you launch yourself out the car and run up through your lobby and to the elevator to escape the cold of the air conditioner and the fluorescent lights. Jungkook lingers in the car until Tae pushes him out to make room for Hoseok.

“Kook,” Tae calls out as he helps Hoseok pour himself into the back seat.

“Wassap?”

“The only way to get good at sex is losta—lotta...lot’s a practish. Okay?”

“But-but…Who am I gonna practice with?”

Tae merely whistles and points a finger upward, gesturing to your illuminated window. The car pulls away and Jungkook sways unsteadily up onto the sidewalk with nausea clawing at his throat. Thinking of the stairs he’ll have to climb—because there’s no way in hell he’s taking the elevator, even in this state—he regrets not just going to his own first floor dorm. Does he really need to get sex counseling from you? There’s always porn, he muses before remembering the rant you’d gone on blaming porn for making a guy you’d been hooking up with try to do weird things in bed involving a summer squash. Looks like he’d have to rely on the real deal to get anywhere with Yoori. Oh, Yoori.

A shimmering vision of the beautiful girl with elegant eyes and an ever-painted smile floats in front of his hazy vision and gives him the strength he needs to hobble forward towards the lobby door with dedication.

Minutes ago you couldn’t wait to go to sleep, but as soon you unlocked your door and made it to your room, you were wide awake. Even brushing your teeth and stripping out of your jeans didn’t to tire you out.

“Fuck,” you groan. You throw yourself onto your bed and hope that the way the room spins will lull you to sleep but when the spinning stops, your eyes still won’t stay closed.

The clock resting on your desk across the room reads 1:48am. It’s already clear that you’re going to be hung over, but knowing that it won’t be cushioned by a nice long sleep before you have to go to yoga at 12 makes you want to cry. You desperately wrack your brain for all the remedies there are to make you sleepy. You just canceled your cable last week to save some money, so you can’t veg out in front of the TV. You’re lactose intolerant, so warm milk isn’t an option. You’d take a warm shower but you washed your hair already and if you go to bed with wet hair your mother’s voice will haunt you all night with stories of the cold coming your way. Kicking your feet in frustration, you toss yourself over the edge of the bed to hang. Maybe all the blood will flow to your head and you’ll pass out.

You’re about to risk passing out and landing on your neck the wrong way and dying when a bright pink shoebox under your bed catches your eye. Of course, you think, how could you forget your precious vibrator. Luckily for you, a good orgasm or three always managed to knock you out like a light. You reach over and scoot the box forward with your outstretched fingertips until you get it close enough to reach inside and grab the petite tiffany blue bullet. Giddy laughter leaves your mouth as you heft yourself back onto your bed and fall back on the pillows with a contented sigh. Orgasms solve all your problems. You flick the device on to the lowest setting and ghost it against your clothed mound.

Jungkook is completely breathless as he leaves the center stairwell and finally arrives on your floor. The stairs were a bitch and a half, but your door is only two down from the floor entrance. He can practically hear the siren song of your pull-out couch. When he turns the knob to your front door, it doesn’t budge and he wonders if you must have locked it on instinct. There’s no way you forgot that he was staying over, he thinks to himself. Reaching above the doorjamb, he hunts for the spare key you left there especially for him. The door unlocks easily and he smiles to himself as he locks the door behind him and toes off his shoes. He’s about to face plant into the couch when you call his name faintly from your bedroom.

As he stumbles through the hallway slowly to your room, he thinks over what Taehyung said to him before driving off. To Jungkook’s drunk mind it makes sense, so it must be a good idea to seek sex practice from you. You’re the only girl he knows and he’s known you so long that he can already tell there would be no awkwardness. The sad look in your eyes as you listened to his predicament in the bar tells him that you want to help him, but you didn’t know what route to take. He flexes his hands by his sides and figures he’ll just tell you what Taehyung told him and get to coming up with a curriculum.

The door to your bedroom is half-open and the lights shine through the opening, so he figures you must be up and waiting for him. He can still hear you calling his name, but it still sounds oddly soft from where he is. He pushes the door open but freezes in his tracks when he sees you.

The first thing he notices is obviously the frantically moving hand you have between your legs and the loud buzzing sound that comes from it. He takes in more details the longer he looks. He realizes belatedly then that you’re not wearing pants. Thanks to the high prescription strength of his glasses, he can also see the way your hand and thighs shine and the huge dark spot in the crotch of your panties in the light of your table lamp. Your toes are curling and he can just make out the way your lower stomach clenches underneath the very same sweatshirt you’d been wearing to the bar. Technically he can’t see your other hand but he has a pretty good idea of where it is and what it might be doing with the way it disappears under your shirt. You can’t see him, though, because your head is thrown back and your eyes are closed. The only thing you’re probably at least partly aware of is the cacophony of wet sounds that come from where you work the nose of the toy over yourself. The last thing he notices is the way you call his name in a soft whining tone that has him stepping forward without thinking.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you whine as the slippery heel of your hand bumps against your covered clit a little roughly on an upstroke.

“Yes?”

“What the hell,” your eyes snap open and your head whips around to see him leaning on the door frame as he watches you.

His eyes are heavy with alcohol and his cheeks are just as pink as the lip he releases from the grasp of his teeth. He reaches out and stumbles forward, causing you to scramble back to distance yourself from him. You bring your knees up to hug to your chest before you realize that you’re still very much on show.

“Jeon Jungkook, what is going on here,” you shriek, bringing your hands to cover your eyes only makes you feel a little bit better.

He sits down on your bed like it’s any other day and he’s just chilling in the room like you invited him over. And then you realize that you did kind of invite him over as fragmented memories of the recent uber ride you took together spring up.

“You said you wanted to help me, but you didn’t know how. But Tae told me I just have to practish.”

“Practish?”

“Practice,” he corrects himself.

“Practice what?”

“Practice sex. Duh!”

“Jungkook, no!”

“Please? I wouldn’t be asking such a huge favor if I didn’t think it was absolutely necessary.”

“Why can’t you just go to a frat party like everyone else?”

Your heart is beating rapidly and you think maybe you’re not drunk anymore. Never in your life did you think you would turn down sex from Jungkook, but then again you never pictured it happening this way.

“Because I,” his head hangs and he starts to pick at a loose thread in your duvet, “I guess I missed out on this kind of thing when we were younger and I don’t think I could get very good results in a basement party. Plus, I know you’d…”

“I’d what?”

“You’d be good to me.” He lifts his eyes to lock with yours. His gaze is oddly sharp despite the fact that his skin is still clammy like it gets when he drinks.

Your breath hitches and for a moment it does feel like the fantasies you have almost every other time that you settle into your room, lonely and horny. Jungkook laughs bitterly to himself and you can feel your resolve crumbling as something selfish rears its head in the back of your mind. He tries one last time.

“Please?”

You crack.

“Okay.”

“Really?” His eyes light up once more as he gives you a blinding smile. “Great. Let’s start!”

It feels as though you’re having an out of body experience as you watch him clamber closer onto the bed with you. Your legs naturally open to accommodate him and he scoots into your space, his hands falling to naturally stroke with the soft skin of your ankles. Even though he lacks experience, Jungkook has a leg up in that he’s naturally on the affectionate side. Something you can’t teach with any amount of practice. Even still, the idea that Jungkook will be sitting between your naked thighs makes your stomach do flip flops.You barely start formulating something to say that will sound educational when you hear him get ready to interject once more.

“God, what is it?” You worry that if he interrupts you one more time you’ll lose your nerve.

“I need a visual aid. And, uh, I won’t be able to see because of your, uh, undergarments.”

You’re certain that you’ve never taken anything off faster than you do in that moment. The panties fly into some far corner of your room and you can only hope that they don’t land in a clump of dust bunnies.

“Alright,” you stutter, “I don’t have to give you an anatomy lesson, right? Please tell me you at least know where everything is.”

“We took anatomy together in 7th grade,” he says like that’s a decent answer.

You roll your eyes. “Right, okay. Anatomy lesson it is.”

“What’s this,” you point at yourself.

“That’s the uh…entrance to the vagina?”

“Ok and?”

“It’s where the pleasure comes from?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes?”

“Partial credit.”

“Isn’t that where the…phallus goes, though?” You decide it would be best to ignore his word choice for now.

“Yeah, I mean stuff goes in there but that’s not where all the pleasure comes from. For some people that’s not where any of it comes from.”

His eyes widen nervously. “Then where does it come from if not from penetration?”

You gesture again. “This is the clitoris.” His sweaty bangs flop over his lenses as he nods enthusiastically. Finally something he remembers.

“The clitoris,” he chirps affirmatively. You side eye him, but keep going.

“This little thing is basically there for the sole purpose of pleasure.”

“How do I activate it?” Again you blink at his terminology. Although you’d been a STEM freak with Jungkook for years, somehow he managed to baffle you with his nerdiness.

“Uh, you can stimulate it by touching it.” You draw a small circle in the air around the nub to demonstrate. “Like that, for example. You can also use your hands or your mouth.”

“Or that little blue thing you were using earlier,” he chimes in, reminding you of the embarrassing way this whole thing started.

You sigh. “Yeah. That too.”

“And that’s it?”

“No that’s definitely not it. We haven’t even touched the other places of pleasure or technique or foreplay. But this is a pretty good cheat code.”

“So what about the inside? Like the tubes?”

“There’s really not that much you need to know involving the actual reproductive organs themselves. We can just focus on the external bits for now.” You wince at how uncomfortable the discussion is.

“That makes sense,” his brows furrow seriously. He’s slow to blink, partly so he doesn’t miss anything and partly because he’s still fighting off tendrils of sleep.

“I mean,” you wring your hands anxiously, “that’s all you really need to know for now. It’s mostly learning on the go, anyway. You’ll be fine.”

“But what if I’m not fine. Don’t you think you could, you know, show me?”

“What is there to show?”

“How about you just continue…what you were doing when I came in.”

“Masturbating.”

“What?”

“I was masturbating when you came in.”

A hand flies to the collar of his shirt and he tugs on it sheepishly. “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

You try not to focus on how weirdly awkward the mood is now that your lust has calmed down to barely even a simmer. You reach for the discarded vibrator that jumped out of your hand and landed by the edge of the head of your bed, but he stops you with a raised hand.

“Can you, uh, maybe do it the old-fashioned way? For the first time at least?”

“Right, I guess I’ll get to it.”

Jungkook sits back on his heels patiently and watches closely as your hand trails a path down your torso to the apex of your thighs. The first touch, though you know it’s your own hand, has you twitching a bit. You bite your lip hard to focus and circle your entrance to coax out more moisture, then you move back to circle your clit. You close your eyes in hopes that not being able to see Jungkook’s gaping expression will help. It does, a bit. After a few moments, you let out a breathy sigh and sink further into the pillows. You plant one foot more firmly on the mattress to give yourself some leverage and push yourself more into your circling hand. The slight increase in pressure has you moaning and your eyes fluttering. You peek through heavy lids to see Jungkook’s expression has also changed. His eyes, clear just a second ago, look glassy again from behind his lenses, his mouth slack and shiny. The rise and fall of his chest is a bit heavier. You let yourself think it’s because of you and go back to collect more arousal to increase the slip.

Apparently, you’re more turned on than you thought. When your middle and ring fingers wander down to your hole they come back pleasantly slick. Something in you suddenly feels rebellious, so you use your free hand to spread your lips further and bring your coated fingers up to Jungkook’s face. You flex your fingers and separate them to show crystalline streaks of arousal connecting them.

“Just so you know, this is a good sign.”

Jungkook swallows hard. Somehow, even though you’re still wearing socks and a baggy sweatshirt, you’re hotter than all the completely bare, busty women he’d watched moan and writhe wildly on his computer screen. He reaches out and delicately grabs you wrist before redirecting your hand back to your dripping center.

“Keep going,” he rasps.

You whine and begin to rub your clit more earnestly, lewd wet sounds fill the room. He can practically see your lips getting wetter and wetter as you redistribute your arousal with every rough swipe of your fingers. Your wrist is moving fast, but it’s clear that you’re becoming frustrated with all that you can do with one hand. Your other hand quickly moves to take over making tight figure eights around your clit while the one already coated in your juices moves back down to your entrance once more. This time, you crook two shining fingers and shove them into your hole. Immediately your back bends and a drawn out moan leaves your mouth. Jungkook gasps quietly. You pump your fingers in and out roughly, then withdraw them to add a third finger.

He watches you like that for a while before you get fed up again. It’s been a while since you’ve been so needy and you feel like you’re on fire. Your toes curl impatiently on either side of Jungkook and he realizes you’re looking for more. On instinct he scoots further until his own legs are brushing up against the undersides of yours. His hand reaches out to pet your quivering thigh in a sympathetic effort to help with your plateau. He looks down at your hand, twitching feverishly in and out of yourself. His hands are much bigger and suddenly he moves like he’s about to replace your fingers with his own.

When Jungkook’s hands start to approach your center your breath hitches. You’re not quite in the right state of mind to reject him if he offers to finger you, but you don’t want to take advantage of the situation and make it any more emotionally complicated than it already is.

“Not yet,” you offer when his hands get too close for comfort, “Next time, maybe.”

He seems to be thinking the same thing and averts his attention to the forgotten vibrator. His grip on your thigh disappears, and you sigh quietly, but it’s hidden under the slick sounds you make each time your fingers get sucked into your heat and the low moans you make every time your pinch your clit just so.

“W-what do I do?” His voice is small and his sudden worried look has you wrapping a hand around his and bringing it to show him how you click the toy on and circle it around your entrance.

His hands are sweaty, shaky, so when your hips start to circle on their own, they move to find a resting spot on your thighs and squeeze to deal with the tension rising in his own belly. He grits his teeth, clenches his hands, does anything he can to keep from overstepping and making this about him. As obviously cliché as it sounds, seeing you sweating and moaning underneath him lets him see you in a new light. You’d always been around, but your presence as a woman in his life was backgrounded at best. Now, with Yoori momentarily not clouding his mind, he wants nothing more than to ravage you. He’s almost certain that if he tried, his lack of experience wouldn’t matter too much. He’s sure his body would be able to act on baser instinct and give you the what you wanted. If you wanted.

Your moans change in pitch and soon he’s aware that this will be the first time he’ll have been privy to someone else’s orgasm in real life. His dick is painfully hard and straining against the jeans he’s wearing. But he forgets the discomfort fast as he watches you grind yourself down against the toy in a way that is absolutely filthy. Your bottom lip, shiny and reddened, is pulled taut between your teeth in ecstasy. Your eyes flutter open and lock with his own. You focus and notice his blown-out pupils look huge within the depths of deep brown irises. There’s no denying he’s turned on once you flick your gaze down to his crotch and see the large tent in his pants.

“I—I think I’m gonna…Oh!” Your leg kicks out on its own like some electric current runs through you. Your voice breaks as the waves of your approaching high begin to take over you. One of his hands inches upwards a bit and strokes the tense muscle near your groin softly, at a loss for words. “Oh god, Jungkook, you—” keening, your eyes roll into the back of your head.

One of your hands reaches up to squeeze at his bicep as he’s leaning over you. He wonders in the back of his mind when he got so close to you. Your leg hooks around him like it has a mind of it’s own and tugs him down, forcing him to topple over you. That’s the last straw and you sob from the intense pleasure. Meanwhile your warmth and proximity and your words prove to be a deadly combination and within seconds he’s spilling over himself in his boxers, untouched. He lets out a low groan that puffs against the side of your neck.

You both sit there and breathe for a long while, catching your breath and coming back down to earth. He sits up eventually and pulls away from you, leaving you cold. Your legs flop from around him heavily. You’re a bit irritated when you realize you won’t be able to walk normally for a while. He discretely wipes his hands off on your duvet while you wipe at the sweat soaking your hairline.

“That’s it, that’s the show,” you finally say.

He shoots up and looks at you anxiously. It’s cute. “You mean until next time, right?”

His eyes are wide and imploring as he hovers over by you. He looks a bit like a turtle from this angle. A cute one, though. One that you want to play with again next week. You nod even though he might have all that he needs to do well with Yoori, being the fast learner that he is.

“I guess so. Same time, next week. Do some research for next time maybe. Make sure it’s from something not involving the medical library.”

“Got it!” He turns and waits until you’re not looking to adjust his pants.

You notice his hair is sticking to his forehead when he finally stands up. And there’s a cowlick sticking up in the back that reminds you of middle school Jungkook, before he met Yoori. The idea of the other girl, the girl he’s really in love with, dims your post-coital glow. Although, you suppose you have her to thank for this evening’s events. How else could you have ever managed a one-sided romp in the sheets with your long-time crush?

Both of you take turns using the bathroom to clean up. While he hums in time with washing up, you slip panties on and debate about whether or not to throw your sweats back on. You decide that if you’re going to play this off like it hasn’t changed your relationship, you should put pants back on.He comes out looking pink and clean and you want to pull him back into your bed and wrap yourself around him.

To protect his glasses from the dangers of the bathroom, he left them in your room. Squinting, he walks with hands out to collect them. When he puts them on he doesn’t look at you and instead pulls his phone out of his pocket and swipes around while leaving the room.

“Heading out,” you ask with a quasi-disinterested tone.

“Yeah, I remembered I have to run the Saturday tutoring session this week. So I might as well go home so I can get ready for that. You should come, you know. Your test scores dropped 2 points this week.” Typical Jungkook. He couldn’t ever fully leave TA mode.

You roll your eyes. “Thanks for the reminder, but that’s still an A.”

“Maybe we can try this again next week the same time?”

“Yeah, uh, okay.”

“Cool, I’ll put it on my calendar.” He lifts his phone to his face to tell the digital assistant to pencil you in for next week. You try not to grimace at becoming a date in his calendar app.

“Get out already, you nerd.” You push him out after he puts his coat back on, but you do watch out the window to make sure his taxi comes.

#btssmutclub #bangtan bookclub #networkbangtan #bttnetwork #btswriters #bts smut #bangtan fanfic #bangtan imagines #bangtan scenario #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #jungkook imagine #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenario

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sagara-megumi · 5 years

Text

SasuSaku Month 2019 - Day 4: City Lights || [Fanfic] Family Ties - Chapter 2

Sorry for the long delay in posting this chapter but health and relatives visits made it a bit difficult (having nephews and nieces around asking you to play with them isn’t the best way to get inspired). Also, Sasuke made things a bit difficult XD

Title: Family Ties: Chapter 2

Rating: T/PG-13

Words: 3470

Notes: Well, as I stated in the previous chapter, there are going to be vampires in this story ^^ I don’t know if you’ve read manga about vampires before but just in case you haven’t, I’m going to tell you a little about them because Japanese vampires are different from Western ones.

It’s important to know that depending on the manga/anime they’re represented with some characteristics or others but what I think it’s the main difference is that vampires are more supernatural beings rather than undead creatures. Therefore, we can find vampires who can walk freely during the day, have superpowers, procreate, work… however, I think that one of the most important things is that they don’t have the pressing need of drinking blood to survive. I don’t want to elaborate too much on this topic because then, the notes would be too long and also, I want to uncover things as they happen in the story ^^ But if you want to check some more info, you can go here.

English isn’t my first language so if you spot any mistakes, please tell me. I hope that you enjoy it, and thank you for the notes and follows :)

CHAPTER 2

Expectations.

Uchiha Sasuke closed the door of his father’s office and walked along the corridor on the ground floor of the duplex house which had been his home for years, heaving a barely audible sigh. More and more expectations kept on mounting on his shoulders every single time he visited him and showed him his results, either academic, sports or social. However, it was never enough. Every single time, his brother’s name came into the conversation comparing their grades and their merits.

Despite this, he was not angry or unhappy, or hated his brother. Being a child, he had felt neglected in favour of him but Itachi had always tried to be there for him, even though he was busy himself, helping him with his studies and giving him advice. And even though he still had to deal with judgements, his views had changed as he grew. He had become aware that his father did that because Itachi was his successor as the clan head and also, because he wanted Sasuke to keep growing and be better, so nobody could say anything about any of his sons. Especially at that moment, in his situation.

He went up the stairs, heading to his bedroom. After his parents’ divorce, Itachi had stayed with this father while he, as a minor, had been taken in by his mother when she left the family clan. He now led a “normal” life that he did not want, living in a small rented apartment outside the family’s influence area, surrounded by people he did not have any interest to know and having to do things he was not used to, like doing the shopping or the washing-up.

He entered the room and, after looking through the window for a moment, at the city which was starting to come to life as night approached and buildings, street lamps and neon signs were lit, he took off his dark green uniform jacket, the striped tie around his neck and unbuttoned the top of his shirt, sitting on the bed, feeling slightly tired. He only had to wait a year and a half more to abandon all that, to be back to his origins and carve his own future, with his own kind. And he had to use that time wisely to harden himself so when he came back, people could see this strength and success over his mistakes.

He leant back, letting himself fall on the mattress and closed his eyes. His mistakes, his weaknesses… They were so many that sometimes, he doubted the clan could overlook them one day. Some were small, things that a child did carelessly and were frowned upon but others… He clenched his jaw. Others…

He buried his face in his pillow but nothing, not even his own scent, came from it. He opened his eyes and propped himself on one elbow, glaring at the fabric and pressing his lips together. The maid had changed the sheets again as if they were dirty after just one night. Maybe they feared that he brought any human odour with him. He half-closed his black eyes. It was true that the place where he lived on weekdays was full of smells he had never perceived before, like food being cooked, cars passing by, perfumes mixed in the air from men and women who passed along the corridor on the street or the sheets of his own bed which smelled of the floral fragrance of the fabric softener that his mother used when doing the laundry. At the beginning, it had annoyed him, especially for his sensitivity for smells, but after a while, he had got used to it. His thoughts went to her and the last time he had seen her, the previous morning during breakfast. She had been paler than usual, and it was as if she had lost her energy. She had said that she was tired, as Christmas was approaching and she had become busier with work, but he did not know whether to believe her or not. A part of him wanted to call her to see how she was, but another one berated him for having such feelings. That was exactly what his father and everyone around him wanted him to fight.

Breathing deeply, he stood up and finished changing his clothes. Then, he took out some books from the bookcase next to his desk and sat down, ready to study some more before dinner.

Minutes later, he stood up to take one more, a novel, for his Classic Literature homework but another one attracted his attention, and he picked it up. It was a copy of ‘Beauty and Sadness’ by Kawabata Yasunori which probably belonged to Itachi, as he did not usually read those types of books. He swallowed. And it was the same book the girl on the train was reading the day before. He had seen it in one of the glimpses he had caught of her.

In the beginning, he had not been more interested in her than in other humans who surrounded him on his way to school in that uncomfortable train carriage. She was one of the hundreds of students he crossed paths with during his day. And by the looks she sneaked at him, another one infatuated by his appearance. He had felt so annoyed that the following day, as he saw her enter the car, he had ignored her during the whole journey.

However, as he had sensed her attention gradually shift from him to the books that she brought to read during the ride, he had started to get curious about her, not so much as to steal glances at her like an idiot in love, but enough to wonder about her taste in literature or find out her school. It was not a bad one, but not the best for a bright mind as he supposed by the curiosity he had seen in her green eyes and her seriousness while reading when she carried advanced textbooks with her instead of novels.

And then, it was that aroma that she sometimes gave out. It was subtle and slightly sweet, like a summer breeze bringing the smell of ripe fruit. Now and then, it was mixed with recently applied cologne and it became a walk through a garden in spring. Even though he had already known that all humans had their own fragrance, hers had always been comforting, inviting but not tempting.

Until a few mornings ago, when she had given her seat to an old woman and she had taken a grab handle, her back to him. Maybe it was because she had been nearer him or because there had been any kind of disturbance in her feelings, or just because he was more sensitive that day, but her scent had surrounded him, intense and enthralling. His heart had thundered in his chest and goose pimples had formed on his skin, his pupils prickling slightly as his hunger-

“Sasuke?”

He jumped and turned suddenly, seeing his brother just behind him, his hand barely touching his shoulder. He had not heard him enter.

“I knocked but you didn’t answer…”

He breathed deeply, noticing that his fingers hurt, and he realised that his hold on the book had tightened until his knuckles had become white. Strange energy, like a low electrical current, fluttered in his veins, making him oddly upset.

“Sorry” he replied, clenching his jaw and trying to regain his composure. “Did you want something?”

Itachi furrowed his brow slightly. It was not like Sasuke to show his feelings openly, and to his eyes, it was obvious that something had been bothering him. When he had entered his bedroom and seen him stood there, immobile, his breath slightly agitated and his mind really far away from there. However, he was showing him a composed expression now, regarding him calmly, as always. He opened his mouth go ask but his little brother interrupted him.

“I found this here” he said, showing him the book.

“Oh, that’s mine, thank you” he replied, taking it. “Shisui lent it to me, I probably left it somewhere and one of the maids thought it was yours.”

Sasuke nodded and then, put his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“And? What did you want?” he repeated.

“Oh, they called us for dinner and I thought we could go downstairs together” the younger man spared a glance at his homework and then, took a step towards Itachi. “But, are you sure you’re alright? You look a bit pale…”

“Yes,” he straightened himself and looked at his brother. “I just need to go out tonight.”

Sakura started to go down the stairs from the school library in the building next to the sports facilities with a loud sigh, as the librarian closed the door behind her. She had lost track of the time while studying for her exams and now it was almost dark. A chill ran down her spine as a cold gust of wind passed her and she shrugged under her thick uniform coat.

Being a third-year student was not being easy at all, but she had thoroughly organised herself to be able to get to everything. At the beginning of the school year, her father and she had split the housework in a different way so she could have much more time to study and she had left her club too; also, she had a study group with Neji and Tenten, the only ones of her friends who were the same age as her, and they met every week to review the lessons and solve questions. She sometimes felt envious of the others, who, being in second year, still could afford to go to a café or the karaoke after class. In many occasions, Sakura had wondered why she had been in such a hurry to be born. If she had only waited for three more days…

“Sakura-chan!”

She was crossing the terrace in front of the main building, which had a fountain in the centre and led into a promenade lined by rows of leafless trees, when she had heard her name. Turning, she saw Naruto running towards her, waving. There were few times now when they could walk back home together and at that moment she was grateful for his company to avoid thinking about everything which was happening in her life, at such frantic speed that she barely felt strong enough to deal with all.

He reached her and smiled widely, his cheeks red for the effort and the cold, and he bent over a bit, putting his hands on his knees to recover his breath. A moment later, he started coughing and she sighed.

“What am I going to do with you…” she said pressing a hand on his back and rubbing vigorously to get through the different layers of cloth. “If you get ill, your mum’s going to be mad at you.”

“I just…” he replied, his smile still intact, as he lifted his head to her. “… saw you and I had to catch you” he straightened and inhaled deeply again. “I wanted to ask you about your dad and his girlfriend.”

If Ino was her best friend, Naruto was like a brother to her. They had met as babies when his parents had moved to their neighbourhood, three houses down the street from hers. They had been together in each of their school stages, she helping him to study when they had important exams and Kushina was exasperated because her son preferred to disappear to play football with other boys, during the summer holidays when they went to each other’s houses and played in their paddling pools until they did not fit in them anymore, and even when Naruto confessed to her when he was fourteen and she rejected him. They had overcome bad moments, fights and bumps in the road, and after sixteen years, they were still as close. He was the only one who knew about his father’s relationship and the change that was about to happen in her life, and even though he was not trustworthy in some kinds of secrets, she knew that he would take to his grave those things that she had talked to him about in the privacy of their bedrooms and that nobody else knew.

“Nothing happened.”

Naruto looked at her curiously and scratched his head as they started walking again.

“But you said he was going to drop the bomb last Sunday, right?”

“He said it wasn’t the right moment, so he decided to wait” Sakura bit her lower lip. “However, there’s something I don’t understand… When I saw him the following morning, he looked worried, as if something… unexpected… had happened. He tried to play it off but I think he lied to me…”

“A fight?”

She shrugged trying to appear nonchalant, but he could clearly see that it was quite the opposite, so he decided to change the topic.

“Hey, do you want to have dinner at home? You said your dad was working overtime and it’s depressing to eat alone. Besides, today mum’s making stew. Gramps’s come for a few days and he’s brought some delicious mushrooms from the village.”

She smiled at him, thankful.

“Alright. But first, I’ll go home to change clothes.”

“I’ll go with you, It’s just a couple of houses away…”

Jiraiya was a friendly happy old man who only had a fault, he was a real pervert. Sakura had discovered it when she had started showing curves, but by then, she already knew how to deal with that side of Naruto’s grandfather.

She was overjoyed inwardly when, upon entering his best friend’s house dining room and greet the family, the wide grin on the old man’s face turned into a disappointed pout when he saw that she was wearing straight jeans and a loose thick cardigan which reached past her hips over her black jumper. Also, she realised he did not drop anything under the table during the dinner, as it had happened at other times, and she made a mental note to warn Hinata, Naruto’s girlfriend, about that when she visited the house while his grandfather was there, or she would have a hard time.

And it was really lucky that neither Minato nor Naruto had inherited that trait.

Her smartphone rang while she was enjoying some tea that Kushina had served after dinner and, when she picked it up, she saw it was her father, to whom she had left a message saying where she would be.

“Naruto, take Sakura home” his mother asked him while she bid farewell.

He made a face

“But, there’re only two houses between ours and she can manage… I’d prefer to stay here” he complained while moving forward under the kotatsu covers to make his point. “Moreover, the baseball match’s going to start.”

Kushina put her hands on her hips as Sakura chuckled, knowing what was coming. The woman started ranting about her son’s lack of manners and how Hinata could get tired of him one day if he treated her like that. In the end, Naruto stood up with a sour face.

“You shouldn’t have…” Sakura whispered to Kushina when he left to retrieve his coat. “Now I feel pity for him.”

“He has to learn that he can’t treat girls as his football teammates and that it doesn’t matter if you’ve grown up together, you’re not one either” she glanced at Minato and a soft smile appeared on her mouth. “His father was clumsy and dense for these things too, but he was more considerate.”

Both left the house and stayed in the doorstep for a moment. A cold breeze blew past them, leaving their noses freezing, and Naruto started shivering while he shrugged to emphasize the fact that he had left the comfort of the kotatsu to see her home, and she laughed.

“I got it” she took a few steps ahead and turned, walking backwards. “Tomorrow, I’ll invite you to hot chocolate so you can forgive me” his eyes glinted as they went through the gate and started walking up the street; he was too predictable. “So, why don’t you wait here till I reach my house?”

“Are you crazy? My mum’ll have my head if she sees me through the kitchen window, and be assured she’ll be watching by now.”

Both started walking up the street with their hands in their pockets. The street was empty and only their steps and breaths broke the silence. Their shadows danced back and forth as they entered and exited the beams of light of the street lamps which bordered the street.

“Hey, how are you doing with History? Remember that the exam is next week and you need to pass it or you’ll get suspended of your club activities until the end of the year.”

He hid his face in the neck of his anorak and Sakura furrowed her brow.

“I’m really trying, but you know I’m not good at memory things…”

She sighed.

“I could help you, you know” he lifted his head and looked at her, his eyes wide. “I could make you some timelines and a summary with the most important points, and you can come home to review at the weekend.”

“Really?!” he threw his arms around her. “You’re the best!” he seemed to think about it for a moment. “After Hinata, of course.”

He let go with a big smile and kept on walking, his steps longer and with a small happy gait. However, he stopped just before reaching her door.

“But, what about your entrance exams, Sakura-chan? You start them in February, right?”

She smiled and punched him lightly on the arm.

“Don’t worry about that. I’m a very diligent girl and I’m ahead of my study plan.”

He seemed relieved.

“And? Are you going to tell me which university are you aiming at?”

Sakura frowned and marched to the gate.

“No. I don’t want you to laugh at me if I can’t enter in my first option.”

“Oh, come on. You know I wouldn’t do that” she shook her head stubbornly. “Okay, but it’s not as if you’re aiming for Todai, you know…”

She turned her face away to avoid him seeing the blush that warmed her face despite the cold.

“You can go now to see your match” she opened the door. “And if your mum asks, you walked me to the door.”

“Yes!” he turned around and ran down the street, waving at her.

Sakura moved her head, chuckling as she heard the loud noise his fence made when he slammed it shut, and then, she entered. She was quite often surprised by the sharp intuition her friend possessed, even though sometimes he said things without thinking. And he was right once again, as Todai University was one of the two options she had written on her career survey before the summer holidays. Years before, she had made the decision of being a doctor, when her mother had taken her by the hand, they had walked to a park and there, sitting on a bench, she had told her that one day soon she would not be with her anymore, that she had to be a good girl so her father would not worry, and that she had to become a beautiful strong woman who knew how to face what awaited her in life.

She breathed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment so she could ease the pain in her heart. She was trying hard to accomplish all that. She had learnt not to cry in front of her father, and to make him smile when he was sad. She had kept her lifelong friends and she had made some more along the way. She had hidden her hurt when her father had started talking about the woman he had met when he was in the department store while he was looking for a present for her sixteenth birthday, when she thought that he would love her mother till the end of his life… She had been a brilliant student, earning merits, getting the best marks in all the subjects, and she had chosen the best public university so his father had not had to pay the expensive fee of a private one. Though she had chosen Keio University as a second option at her homeroom teacher’s insistence, her only aim was Todai.

Just in front of the door of the house, she breathed deeply once again, trying to calm herself so her father would not guess any of her thoughts. After all, she had to be a good girl until the end.

TO BE CONTINUED

#Naruto #fanfic #ssm19 #ssm19d4 #sasusakumonth #Uchiha Sasuke #Haruno Sakura #SasuSaku #OTP

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incarnateirony · 5 years

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Thoughts.

So I finally watched Good Omens. First of all I know some people were waiting for me to like, do breakdowns on the use of lore, sigils and whatnot -- I’m sure I’ll poke at it eventually, but so much of it reads of typicality, alongside strong artistic liberty, that when it comes to actual sigils there’s very few and I’ll need a good screen of them.

But that isn’t about that. This is actually about Good Omens and the audience response to queer content and queer coded content. I’m going to warn you, some of this shit is going to incense the fuck out of woke tumblr. It’s going to be a lot of hard pills to swallow, mostly in regards to parts of the LGBT community -- of which I’m a part -- moving around our own goal posts, inconsistencies in the placements of our goalposts, and the impacts of het culture. If you come into my mentions screaming away at me expect an ignore or a block.

No, this isn’t anti-Azri/Crow. It’s very pro Azri/Crow. And yes, I’m going to drag other fandoms I’m in, into it. But I’m also gonna drag general discussion into it.

First I’m going to source a link to a recent set of tweets someone made that I consider very insightful (x) and then highlight a bulk of it.

“When we call something queerbaiting, we're essentially saying: "source material X doesn't count as real or valid queer representation." Here is a thread on why we need to be cognizant about which real-life queer people & stories we're erasing when we expand our use of that term. First: actual queerbaiting, in which art-creators hint at queer representation in order to attract viewers and then insist their art was 100% hetero all along, sucks a lot. I am not advocating getting rid of the term. Nor am I saying it's not valid to feel jerked around when a show uses the promise of a specific queer relationship on their publicity circuit, and then doesn't follow through on it in the actual source. (Or follows through only to write out a character, a la #TheMagicians) However: when we narrow our definition of "real and valid queer representation" until the ONLY thing that counts as queer rep is on-screen queer *romance* or on-screen queer *sex*, we are telling a significant portion of the real-life queer community that they don't count. When we use the "queerbaiting" label to describe a millennia-long, loving asexual same-gender relationship (aka #GoodOmens) we are telling asexuals in loving life-long relationships that they don't count as queer. We are also telling sexual queers whose primary, life-organizing relationships are queerplatonic (me, this is me) that their queerness is defined only by who they fuck, not by who they choose to build a life with. I want a space where ALL kinds of queer stories get told: romances yes, but also stories of queer friendship; queer mentorship; queer animosity; queer competition and cooperation; queer found family; queer provocation and queer mistakes. None of that happens if we tell everyone whose queer content doesn't fit into the narrow box "Lead A & Lead B kiss and/or fuck onscreen" (even if A&B make a life together; even if A&B kiss & fuck other same-sex people) that their art is exploitative & doesn't count as queer rep. “

Why am I choosing to highlight this while implicatively mentioning my adjacent fandoms? Well, because blogs I follow that either haphazardly dismiss, say, Destiel as valid until (personally met goalpost, generally when arguing with the hetnorm or anti community wanting a kiss) are all on the Azriphale-Crowley bandwagon.

And let me say, I adore the Azriphale-Crowley bandwagon. I’m ON that bandwagon. Holy shit am I on that wagon, but we need to inspect our dialogue for people who are on one but not the other.

We can say, for example, “Well, Neil Gaiman and the actors have been supportive! So THAT’S why it’s fine!” I mean -- aren’t people always banging on about post-affirmation not being enough, or just vague support being enough, or this-or-that not being enough? Like people don’t flame Rowling over that? I mean, even if we handwave away that Neil Gaiman had literally uncontested authorship instead of 203492 hands in the author and ownership pot top-to-bottom which the average show doesn’t have -- which gives the liberty to say whatever the fuck he wants because it is wholly his product and under his contract and design -- do you notice that it’s actually a very, very small audience crowing about that? And rarely if ever the same ones that do about other pairings that could be considered similar? Like we haven’t gotten those moments from authors in other shows (Robbie Thompson “Destiel isn’t canon?” comes to mind) that we yell queerbait at then and decide isn’t enough. Because someone else moved a goalpost out.

Ah-- but they’re... confirmed asexual and agender and immortal! Okay... and... so is, for example, if we’re going to tilt this way, Castiel. And ace people can have queer relationships with bi or yes, even straight people. Mindblowing, I know, but that’s it, that’s reality.

So why on gods green earth am I seeing this disparity between blogs about the same content, banging on at different volumes of what we expect?

It’s something I’ve written about before, the loudest example being my Problem With DreamHunter post. Before any DreamHunter fans pick up the pitchforks, don’t worry. It, also, is in support of DreamHunter, but simply addresses the cultural problem in there not being a problem with DreamHunter. The blend of intersectional issue disparity between MLM and WLW, and also the simple fact that the fandom wasn’t positioned to have antis or rival ships screaming at it: het culture and shipping culture.

I’ve banged on about this before: in our race for representation, we often trample over content that’s perfectly good and valid and great in many ways, because we want to be able to win an argument against an asshole, we want to be able to bludgeon the gay so inarguably into somebody’s brain that they yield to the might of it, or at least, we imagine it reaches that point. Anti-shipping culture can be so loud that even slow burn het pairings that kiss will have antis explaining their way around it (eg, Mulder and Scully, off the top of my head). Anti queer culture will talk down men or women even making out on screen as experimentation. This cycle will continue.

So again, let me state: Good Omens is a masterpiece. I am utterly enthralled by it, but it does leave me sitting flummoxed about the uneven bars we put out there as marker posts based on trying to race to the finish of arguments.

I’m sure some hack job that doesn’t know how to rub brain cells together beyond “it’s straight” and, beneath the surface, “I don’t like it so I’m going to piss and moan about more expansive methods of thought than hard niching the complexity of human relations” is going to roll in here, thinking yelling “Jensen Ackles thinks it’s straight!” in supreme reductionism of things like authorship, be it intent OR death of the author, or whatever else is out there in this medium -- I’m sure they’ll show up, make the same repetitive ass of themselves as always, and roll on, completely missing the point that I’m not obligated to your arbitrary bullshit, and that nobody is.

I don’t HAVE to point out every single time a dickhat on a loop yells that, that Jensen Ackles himself spoke of the intangibility of the deepness of their connection with Castiel as an angel, and that a cishet dude from texas probably doesn’t understand the finest details of LGBT identity complexity despite being an ally while fumbling over talking about the difficulty of putting a label on it. I don’t have to explain that the actor doesn’t actually get to determine that. Viewership or author, take your pick. I don’t have to explain the “it’s never happening and wasn’t intended” never came from the authors every time some bumblefuck says it -- that it came from one account with a blurb that said he doesn’t speak for that writing room whatsoever. I don’t have to review the times that Jensen Ackles has almost verbatim mirrored the Good Omens creatives about the beauty of it being you being able to make your own interpretation even if it wasn’t his, and encouraging that. I don’t fucking have to, you entitled sniveling shits.

And no, it’s by no means about, say, Dean and Cas. It’s just about the dialogues I’m tired of seeing tilt unevenly even between typically well grounded and centered people.

So anyway Azriphale and Crowley are EternityMates and that’s the fucking tea. Call it queerplat or call it queerromantic I can see either, even if I do tilt towards the former. Destiel is queerromantic and you can fight me. Come at me. Except nobody really will over Good Omens, just Supernatural, because like magic, Good Omens isn’t geared for a fuckton of other bloated ships or antis who hate either of them by structure alone. And that, itself, is a point to be made, too.

And before some doodlefuck trolls along, no, there’s no such thing as incestromantic. Spare us the time and block me now if your knee jerk counter-troll is going to be subtextually along those lines, because I promise you’ll just get blocked when you try to roll into town with it. Since the Supernatural fandom seems to house corners of douchebags that don’t know how to control their primitive douchebag impulses and they do come into address in this post.

Moral of the story: Stop listening to homophobes, antis, or people with agendas. Listen to the content and what has actually been said. On all sides.

If you consider, for example,

the Ineffible Husbands canon with no admission of anything beyond friendship, with the hets loudly banging one scene over with “well the others are ace or whatever” as your reason (fair), a few lunches, basic dedication and a few well placed songs, and a few supportive notes from the general creatives,

But the Hunter Husbands not canon with talked-around love yous and need yous, intentional deletion of Castiel’s agender ace aspects, in spite of there being no evident banging or kissing in the show that hasn’t been a highlight of a problem since like season what six?; talk arounds of their meals together, infinite longer and classic romantic crafted dedication, innumerable well placed songs and yes, a few supportive notes from the creatives that are buried by yourself or others beneath intentionally obfuscated arguments and spun context,

You are, whether you want to gullet it or not, part of the moving goalpost problem. Whether it’s you running to meet a phobe or an anti, or just being coded into it by the screaming around you, there is no world in which one is representation and the other is not. It’s just fuckin’ not.

It’s not.

I don’t care what you yell and scream because it’s popular in your circles. It’s fuckin’ not.

It’s not.

Either both are rep or neither are rep. Personally, I adore both of them, and anyone that has a problem with that can eat me.

Good Omens is not a goddamn motherfucking breakthrough in representation. It’s the same very valid very real form of queer coding half this site screams at because someone got loud enough to scream about it early on, generally inspired by antis riding their ass, just it’s the first and second lead instead of second and third lead, and there’s no ‘rival’ in first and second leads as being intentionally dragged into vaguery. It’s. Fucking. Not. It’s literally. The same. Fucking. Level.

Now, I HAVE been banging on that it’s the level our content SHOULD be acceptable at (well, almost; frankly I’d consider Destiel better, as the show’s overall intimacy threshold is far lower while Good Omens has parallel overtness to the coupling in the actual canon, meaning Good Omens’ playing field, for fair treatment, would be indebted to matching volume -- not saying sex since ace but louder admissions and engagements that are just as clear.)

Unpopular? Good, I don’t care. I’m tired of people screaming about completely conflicting crap.

It’s where we SHOULD be taking ownership of our content. So if there’s any breakthrough, it’s the LGBT community themselves having some sort of spark of awareness that they can and should be able to own content at that volume, largely because the fandom isn’t swamped by asshats on the other side all yelling for their own crappy agendas clogging up your heads. There’s a few queerbait shouters. And you laugh them off, by and large, and accept it as canon and rep. Funny how that works without antis up your ass.

Sincerely,

A tired queer and newborn Crowley stan.

#not spn #but kinda spn #definitely good omens #but more lgbt commentary

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chibivesicle · 5 years

Text

Golden Kamuy chapter 204. Let’s get that down on film. . .

So with a new GK chapter, it is time to take a look at it. Now, I will admit that this was not a very interesting chapter from my standpoint. I was expecting a switch to the other major parties. Either HIjikata or Tsurumi’s men in the 27th. Instead, there is only a mention of Tsurumi’s orders at the beginning.

Tsukishima (the official leader of the group) reports to everyone that he received a telegram from Tsurumi. He is wrapping things up in Norobitsu (the hot springs) and this is likely in regards to Kikuta and Ariko/Ikopote and their killing of Toni Anji, the fake skin that Ariko has as well as Usami and Nikaido. Therefore, they stay in Toyohara. This is the city where the circus was and we now know that they moved from Shisuka (where Vasily was sniping them now) to Toyohara.

Recall that in chapter 159 there was this handy map showing where everyone was.

Toyohara is known now as Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk (Южно-Сахалинск) and they are about 5 miles from the coast in that location.

Koito concludes that Tsurumi is telling them to stay in that location b/c it must have more accommodations and whatnot to offer them. Being the commanding officer in rank (and not function), he tells everyone they are free to do as they choose in Toyohara. They are to expect Tsurumi to come to them in about 2 weeks.

So with their leave time in the area, the group splits up and does different activities. It starts out with Tanigaki and Cikapasi walking around a recently clear cut area and some sort of industrial mill in the background. They encounter some Karafuto Ainu men and Cikapasi explains that Tanigaki is a well endowed man and they laugh.

I’m not quite sure these two are doing together? Are they just spending their free time exploring the area? Tanigaki has his rifle so perhaps they are hoping to hunt if possible? Either way, he’s glad to have Cikapasi along as his icebreaker and people don’t seem nervous around him even though he’s a Japanese solider. Or are they familiarizing themselves with the surrounding area.

What this does lead to though is a more serious conversation between Cikapasi and Enonoka which I have been anticipating for some time now. Cikapasi brings up the idea of being able to return to Inkarmat (and with Tanigaki) they’d be able to make a real family. Tanigaki makes a soft smile as he replies that they should go back to see her.

But Enonoka overhears them talking about going back to Hokkaido and she’s making the exact face I was expecting her to make when this happened. Her asking about Cikapasi leaving. She’s flushed and sad looking and she looks concerned. Cikapasi seems a bit shocked but there’s a little sweat drop meaning he hasn’t thought about how he would respond to her question.

I’ll get back to these two at the end.

Most of the chapter’s action is around Sugimoto and Asirpa in the woods tracking animals and hoping to hunt. This becomes one of Asirpa’s Ainu cultural moments as she would like to hunt a wolverine since she didn’t see on yet and she wants to taste their brains. Sugimoto seems to think that all brains taste the same but Asirpa seems to think otherwise with reindeer tasting like deer and she makes Ogata nod in response to her comment.

She then goes through a ritual to pray to the kamuy that they will be able to find the animal they seek to hunt. When I first saw this sequence of pages I was underwhelmed. I thought of this as a rehash of Asirpa teaching Sugimoto about Ainu practices.

She beings by explaining that this is now an unnecessary act with more modern items but that they still do this even if it doesn’t serve an actual value directly. But then, this is where her explanation has shifted from before. She tries to put this ritual in the context of the value it brings to the hunter through the action to help focus and clear one’s mind; not just that this is an offering to the kamuy.

Sugimoto reminds her that she’s an Ainu woman for the future but she still does her ‘antiquated’ action. Asirpa becomes very introspective and reflective on her reply. She was set up to be a woman for a new era but she still follows and adheres to many of her Ainu traditions b/c they convey a practical value to the person practicing them.

This leads to her important statement of her asking a rhetorical question. Can she leave her traditions behind? When I first saw this panel I was immediately drawn to her statement here, not b/c of the text but b/c of the emotions that are displayed on her face. Sugimoto is there with her, but she’s questioning herself.

Sugimoto looks surprised and taken a back a little. The angle really shows the protective cover for his head wound, something we haven’t had many glimpses at for awhile. I wonder if this means something to see it here on this page? Does this indicate some change in Sugimoto that can’t occur but can occur in Asirpa?

Even though Koito was all for the group taking a break, I think Koito really wanted to take a break from the group. But the facial expression that Tsukishima shows that he disagrees with this apparent carefree order here. Tsukishima is giving Koito serious side-eye and his facial expression is displeased. . .

Honestly, I think Koito looks tired too, he’s got stress lines under his eyes and i think he wants some time to pamper himself. As much has he likely wants to have some beauty self-care time, it means that Tsukishima will have to continue to follow Tsurumi’s orders. And he does this like we expect him to, with the duty that he presents here. As Sugimoto and Asirpa are hunting, he’s following behind with his rifle at ready and watching them with binoculars. Tsukishima does not trust Sugimoto, and honestly, nor should he!

He senses someone else and turns to see Vasily also watching Sugimoto with binoculars. So he’s now followed them from Shisuka all the way to Toyohara! In attempt to look friendly and non-threatening, Vasily sparkles and nods. Tsukishima tells him to return to Russia.

Asirpa and Sugimoto are now under double surveillance! Really, I don’t see how Sugimoto and Asirpa get out of this situation unnoticed. I’m glad to see that Tsukishima is making sure things don’t go awry. I guess he’s confident Tanigaki will be fine with following orders.

Anyways, back to the action. Asirpa and Sugimoto are approached by men who want Asirpa to redo her ritual again. A wolverine attacks the one man and Asirpa tells them that she will shoot it with her poison arrow. As like before, Sugimoto grabs it and pulls it off of the mans back (though Tsukishima’s kicking was way more badass). At the same time the man with the ushanka moves the camera to face her sensing an opportunity.

As Asirpa turns to shoot the wolverine, Sugimoto notices a second coming up behind her. Asirpa turns and hits the one from behind and Sugimoto actually manages to hit the thrown one with his rifle! Shocking! The man approaches it, but remembering the last one, Sugimoto warns him to not approach until the hairs go down.

The wolverine does pop up again and Asirpa shoots it with a second poison arrow. They then take that time to set up a fire and begin to prep the wolverines and yes, Asirpa and Sugimoto get to share some brains. She even asks Sugimoto if it is “hinna hinna?” This is a change from Asirpa previously, she still did not say “hinna hinna” herself, but she’s asking if it is hinna. She does seem much more even keeled and happy, perhaps it is b/c she was able to just hunt and eat brains.

Then all of a sudden he asks the mysterious eyebrow man who he is and what he’s doing. He says that they were following some Karafuto Ainu men hunting a bear but they got separated - and it shows the men that Tanigaki and Cikapasi talked to earlier.

The final page then reveals that these two men are filming aspects of Ainu culture. They got Asirpa hunting on film and Asirpa looks nervous upon hearing that.

Who are these men? What is their role? @osomanga already had a post to identify their historical models so I won’t go into that here. I’m more interested if one of these men is a convict. . . . I can’t help but shake the feeling one of them could be - Anehata Shiton was a more academic man, yet a convict. These men could also fall into that category.

Overall, I don’t have much to say on this chapter. It was a bit of a disappointment for me. I was totally off in my prediction of where things would go so I’m trying to determine what function this serves.

So crazy hypothesis time.

1. Cikapasi and Enonoka. Enonoka has been great for Cikapasi’s development as a character and she has been a positive influence on him. She gave him the beads for hunting, she has shown him how to be a kid and interact with adults. The two of them became friends and care about each other. I’m not saying they are romantically in love or any silly think like that - but they have come to care for each other.

I personally don’t want Cikapasi to leave her, I think he’s better served by staying in Karafuto with her and joining her family. She isn’t using him or having him help facilitate a goal e.g. like how Inkarmat says he’d be better to travel with them so that they look like a family. I think Inkarmat came to care about him, but Cikapasi is the one who wants Tanigaki and Inkarmat to adopt him when Enonoka naturally accepted him. I will be sad if he leaves her behind, returns to Hokkaido to find out that things with Inkarmat are complicated.

2. Tanigaki. Tanigaki looks fondly at Cikapasi as he talks about going back to see Inkarmat. But here in this chapter he tells Cikapasi, it was good to have him along b/c he made for nice cover. Cover! He doesn’t see Cikapasi as family, he saw him as useful. And poor Cikapasi wants nothing more for them to become a family. Ugh - open your eyes Tanigaki.

If Inkarmat is still alive, she is a hostage to Tsurumi. Tsurumi will use her to keep Tanigaki under control and to work for him either directly or indirectly. Honestly, I think Tanigaki is happier under his guidance. He prefers to follow his orders and he has looked more comfortable since falling back under Tsurumi’s command. What is messed up, is that Tsurumi is the one who fed Inkarmat the info that Kiro killed Wilk and she believed it. This influenced her decision to work with Tsurumi. Tanigaki will likely take the full impact of the tiger curse for killing Kiro out of revenge.

Inkarmat as an Ainu, would not have likely approved of Tanigaki taking the makiri back to stab Kiro to get revenge for her being stabbed. She was able to commit to holding onto the knife b/c she wanted to prove that Kiro was guilty. Tanigaki went on another revenge quest for a woman he cared about. If she is still alive, I don’t think she’ll be proud of Tanigaki.

If Tsurumi is still holding her, perhaps she’ll meet Ariko/Ipopete. He’s got another game plan with the fake skin to supply to Tsurumi so maybe they will end up working together and at the same time hit things off. Plus, Ariko is about as blessed at Tanigaki in the “figure” department.

3. Tsukishima (and by extension Tsurumi) is keeping a tight watch on Sugimoto. He didn’t give the full info from the telegram - he may have received more orders from Tsurumi that he’s to follow through on. Tsurumi still hasn’t made an appearance for a long time - I find it incredibly suspicious he is stalling them in Karafuto. Why have them stop there? Why not come back to Hokkaido. Is Tsurumi coming to them to meet with intel informants in Karafuto? There are Russians in the area; he must know that Sofia was held in Akou since he knew Kiro would head there.

There is ample evidence that Tsurumi’s preferred mode of action is to influence people into doing what he wants them to do and so that they think they are making a free decision to act in the situation. I do not doubt that he’s setting up a trap for Sugimoto. They were rushing so hard to get back to Hokkaido and then, stall for 2 weeks!?!? I’m suspicious. Very suspicious.

He clearly has dug into Sugimoto’s past military record by this point. He knows exactly what happened that got him discharged. Sugimoto will not abandon Asirpa. He knows this. So either he would have to kill Sugimoto - which would be a total hassle but valid since the man is a force to be reckoned with, or he pays him the 200 yen in front of Asirpa and tells her that Sugimoto told Tsurumi that he needed to pay him 200 yen to bring her back to him.

I don’t think Asirpa will react well to being sold out to Tsurumi. She could reject him or Tsurumi gives him the money and then forcefully has him escorted back to the Tokyo area. I could see him going to that extreme.

Or maybe he lets someone else know that he did something or killed someone and gets arrested when the return to Hokkaido.

4. Koito. On the surface, Koito is being a bon bon and he wants to pamper himself in Toyohara. He tells everyone to do as they please and wait until they are to return to Odomari to connect with Tsurumi.

This first makes one think of Koito when he started out with the team. When they arrive in Odomari, he has all of his essential items in his luggage (Spaceballs reference anyone? Am I dating myself by making this comment?).

At first during the mission, Koito was a total pain, he wandered off on his own and even had some day drinking on the clock. Day drinking . . . . come on Koito you are on duty.

This lead to immediate conflict with Sugimoto and gave Tsukishima more grief than he wanted. Also, keep in mind that Koito got attacked by the wolverine not long afterwards . . .

But I’m not here to complain about Koito’s mistakes he made, I am thinking of how his tenor has shifted when Ogata held him at gunpoint. He called him a bon bon in Russian and this connected this past trauma from being kidnapped by Russian kidnappers (Ogata and Tsukishima). This shift occurred after Koito asked for the definition of barchonok.

After learning this - he has connected Ogata to the kidnapping event. He keeps his distance from Tsukishima on the dogsled and gets incredibly impatient and mean to Tsukishima when they are pinned down by Vasily.

I think that Koito told everyone to “do as they please” because he needs time to himself to think The problem with everyone in a group, that is always present and Koito hasn’t been alone. He may want to stay away from everyone else and come to grips with the fact that he likely suspects that Ogata and other members of the 27th kidnapped him on Tsurumi’s orders and everything he’s thought for years has been shattered. Yes, Tsukishima is annoyed that he’s stuck babysitting Sugimoto b/c Koito gave everyone leisure time by not taking responsibility for that order, but I’m going to put my faith in Koito in this one. I think he has doubts about his devotion to Tsurumi and he will likely meet him with his father present again, transported by the navy. I think Koito needs some alone time. With his flashback, it shows that after his brother’s death he was a very lonely and isolated kid. This also shows though that he’s no stranger to being alone with himself and his thoughts which is a good thing when it helps one gain perspective.

5. Asirpa is showing a new level of awareness. This took me several times looking over the panels to realize. At first, I was disappointed, this was just a rehash of Asirpa and Sugimoto hunting. I thought back to this very early chapter where Asirpa’s uncle is talking to Sugimoto. He talks about wolves and Sugimoto is able to learn that Asirpa mourned her father’s death by going into the mountains with Retar.

He then states that Sugimoto joining her in the mountains seems to have helped her to heal. We later learn that Asirpa wasn’t healing in the mountains, she was running away from all of the pain and hurt she was facing with her father’s death and then the loss of Retar. But this isn’t revealed until they are on the ice floe.

So at first, I thought Asirpa out with Sugimoto, was her attempting to heal herself after Kiro’s death and shooting Ogata. It may be part of what is driving her to do that.

But then I thought about the first scene where they meet Kirawus here. Asirpa is simply narrating the post hunting offering to the kamuy.

She is only a conveyor of facts. There is no opinion in her statements nor does she have an introspective thought about these rituals. She’s fine with explaining things to Sugimoto (and others) but she doesn’t think about what they mean or why they do them.

What has changed since in the swamp near Kushiro when they meet Kirawus and now in Toyohata on Karafuto?

Kiro and Ogata happened. And I find myself going back to the fox farm on Karafuto. They are hunting sea lions somewhere. . . .

It is unclear exactly where Wilk’s village was located. We know from Kiro discussing the treaty of St. Petersburg, that the dots on this map are the locations of Ainu villages that moved to Hokkaido.

If we overlay these two maps, it means that Wilk is likely from one of these villages. The manga tells us that Sugimoto and Tsukishima’s group went to Odomori ( Korsakov/Корсаков). Therefore, Wilk was from one of the villages as indicated by the dots and it must have been fairly close to Odomori.

Kiro tells Asirpa that her father saw a light and hope in her for the future (to help the native peoples implied in the statement of course). Asirpa then needs to know the big WHY?

Why did Wilk do all of these things and put her in this position? Kiro tells her that she will find the answer herself during her time in Karafuto. He tells her that she didn’t know all about her father and it shows her following in his footsteps.

While she contemplates the fox farm, imperialism and the abuse of native peoples in the context of colonization, Ogata confirms with Kiro what his plan is. The framing is so key in these panels, Asirpa is in the background three times as Ogata looks at her twice.

Ogata is trying to determine if she is lying or not about what the code could be. Kiro explains that it is best to let her find the answer naturally and to make sure she is on board with them and trusts them. He looks soft and supportive on this page while Ogata looks serious and doubtful. Ogata is at his most comfortable here, he’s rationally thinking about all of the possibilities in the situation.

But it then leads to this dramatic top panel on the next page. Kiro tells him that if they let Asirpa mature on Karafuto on her own. . . she will understand the situation and tell them the key.

As they continue through Karafuto Asirpa learns many things first hand by doing with the group. She observes different customs and the impact of the colonial and imperialist policies on both sides of the border.

Most importantly, she remembers the code. As Kiro is dying, she stops Tsukishima from shooting him b/c she needs to talk to him (to ask if he killed Wilk), but first she tells him that she remembered the code. Kiro’s entire plan worked, Sofia was able to get Asirpa to make the connection and Ogata and Asirpa know that she knows the code.

She thanks him and with that Kiro can die somewhat at peace despite sacrificing everything to his cause. Kiro’s actions served a purpose. The immediate one was for her to remember the code.

However, that wasn’t all. When they are later in the Nivk village with injured Ogata and Tsukishima, Asirpa makes a comment how the Nivk are similar yet different from the Ainu - this is a subtle thing that Kiro wanted her to realize. Kiro’s goal was always to get Asirpa to see the situation of the native peoples and to help fulfill Wilk’s goal to form a confederation to stop the spread of colonialism.

So now back to this page. Asirpa is wondering what her role is in the world. Why does she continue to follow old traditions? How does she leave them behind? Can she leave them behind?

This is totally different language than she previously used when discussing Ainu customs and traditions. She likely wonders if she is trapped by them.

I personally read that this has a second meaning. Asirpa has realized that she is trapped by her situation. Wilk set her up to be a natural leader of the Ainu to fight colonialism. Kiro wanted to educate her about her father and become a partisan. Hijikata learned from Wilk that she’s the key to the gold. Tsurumi also knows that she is the only key to the gold since he couldn’t break the code with the current skins in his possession. Tsukishima and Koito are there to make sure she gets it to Tsurumi. She’s also trapped in her partnership with Sugimoto who thinks he’s best to relieve her of the burden (but he’ll also get a benefit as well for Umeko).

Lastly, the chapter ends with the two men who want to record her culture - not only is it rude to ask her to repeat a ritual a second time, but it highlights that she is seen as something to be studied. This also implies that there is a fear that it may be lost.

#golden kamuy #gk meta #golden kamuy meta #asirpa #sugimoto saichi #kiroranke #tsukishima hajime #koito otonoshin #tsurumi tokushirou #cikapasi #inkarmat #enonoka #tanigaki genjirou #wilk #ogata hyakunosuke

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hmntxrch · 5 years

Photo

chase the wind and touch the sky a star’s light shines on long after it dies

(jake t austin. gnc transman) It looks like JOHNNY STORM has been transported to New York City. HE/THEY is a SIXTEEN year old CANON and the aesthetic associated with them is STARRY SKIES, VIDEO-GAMES, SLEEPING BY THE FIREPLACE, COMIC BOOKS, THE SMELL OF WARM SPICES && GREASE STAINED HANDS.

Johnny was born in Long Island, New York, roughly four years after his older sister. He’s recently been thrust into the spotlight on both the celebrity and super-hero scene as the Human Torch, as a contribute to the android of the same name from WWII, and feels more like he’s a fish out of water than someone living a Hollywood-esque dream. The Fantastic Four as a whole are new to the crime-fighting scene, and they seem more invested towards interstellar affairs, but they’re nonetheless proving to become a quickly adored public image.

But life wasn’t always so fantastic for the Storm siblings. Despite the legacy of their family name, they’ve grown up in a broken home and used to always struggle just to make end’s meat. Their parents, Franklin and Mary Storm, were two renown voices in the science community who left impressions on a vast number of fields. The family had the briefest of idyllic lives. Johnny was little, when their mother tragically died in a car accident. Too young to remember her at all. What he does remember is his father, and how the man quickly grew despondent; burying his grief with alcohol while he gambled away the family’s money.

He remembers how Sue was also so, so young yet she already had to take on the role of raising her younger sibling. How she started working when she was probably too young, still, to do so. He remembers the times his father would remember they were there, always forgetting because he was too busy drowning. The yelling. The broken apologies. Cutting his tiny hands on glass as he tried to clean up the photo of Mary that he dropped and broke, before dad woke up and saw. Sometimes, Franklin would get mad at him, or something else, and it’d be terrible; especially if after a period of relative normalcy. Don’t tell your sister.

Johnny still found himself waiting for dad to come home, when he seemed to just vanish one day; even though they quickly lost their old home, shoved into a corner of their Aunt Jewel’s boarding house, never quite actually having a home there. Jewel didn’t like Johnny very much, he always thought, with how she was always complaining about how he could never sit still, never talk properly, always getting under foot. While Sue was at work or school, Johnny often found himself alone. He was never good at making friends with other kids. But the old mechanics from a near by car shop didn’t mind having Johnny around– they’d even let him fiddle around, teach him things. Johnny quickly grew to love cars, building things, taking something apart and putting it back together again; their garage quickly became his favorite place to hide after the kids at school were particularly mean, or when he was trying to avoid Aunt Jewel.

Sue was just starting college, moving out of the boarding house to live in some dorm with the plan of coming back during the summers for Johnny, when old Aunt Jewel finally grew tired of him. He’s not sure what it was, exactly, that was the last straw for her– maybe it was how the days he came home from school without bruises were becoming less and less, or how he was in his clumsy preteen years and kept knocking over her vases or dropping dishes. He only remembers her yelling, being forced to pack his few belongings, and having to ride the train over to Sue’s all by himself. Being that poor scrawny little kid crying his eyes out, lost and confused when he came to his stop; because Sue wasn’t there, Aunt Jewel forgot to actually tell her that Johnny was being sent over, and no one could understand a kid who couldn’t stop sobbing and stuttering and whose hands were too shaky to sign.

That’s when he met Reed, the kindest guy Johnny had ever met, who happened to be on his way to campus and had decided to check out what was causing such a commotion. Apparently, Sue and Reed were fast friends, sharing classes together, so of course the genius recognized who the bawling kid was and contacted her. The guy certainly made a great first impression on Johnny.

Then it really was just him and Sue. Sue, who was barely an adult; who couldn’t catch a break from being his caregiver on top of everything else she had to do. They ended up living in a tiny apartment for a bit, and with even more struggle Sue was recognized as his only legal guardian– they didn’t have any other family. None that actually cared or mattered. Johnny was… he always thought he’d be okay, so long as he at least had Sue. School never got easier for Johnny, with the bullying that persisted even into high-school and how he could never quite perform well in a traditional classroom, but he had Sue, and then Reed and Ben, and it helped.

Then the Snap happened, claiming Johnny as one of its victims, and he returned to an older sister who was now a whole decade older than him. Reed’s hair had started to gray prematurely, and Ben was– was still Ben, but Johnny couldn’t help but feel as if he missed more than five years of his life. Something had shifted, while he was gone, something he still can’t quite place. Of course, no one’s told him anything about what they’ve been up to; which is why he ended up skulking around to eavesdrop on their private talks when they thought he was asleep.

He found out about their plans to go into space, about Reed wanting to go ahead and test the ship they’ve been working on together, even though administration hadn’t authorized it for flight yet. It was technically stealing.

So, they stole the friggin’ space ship. Johnny begged to join, because who wouldn’t want to go to space? Also, he didn’t want to risk being separated from Sue again; not that he actually said anything about that, but Ben groused to Reed: “Dammit, Stetch, if it’s as safe as ya think it is, just let the brat come along–” and that was that.

He doesn’t remember much about the brief time spent actually among the stars; but he does recall the crash. Of burning up, inside and out, veins feeling like molten lava as his irradiated body instinctively absorbed the explosion. It’s disorienting and terrifying; he thought he was dying and alone, partially buried under some debris. He went Nova, then, as his vision swam. He blacked out after that. He knows the four of them somehow came to some kind of testing facility, probably a branch operating under SHIELD, and spent a good portion of the following year trying to understand what happened to them, planning what to do next.

Johnny never expected to go from Long Island’s most miserable loser who still mostly wore hand-me-downs from his sis, to practically overnight teen idol and public hero. But it’s his reality now.

Currently, he’s still struggling to get used to all the attention this kind of fame brings; and it’s a herculean effort to not erupt in flames from public anxiety alone. He’s spending this second year mostly still trying to get used to his powers, going back to school, etc.

TRIVIA

In regards to what point of 616 canon he’s up to, he’s roughly post the Mike Snow Incident and Moleman’s introduction.

I depict Johnny as mixed Filipinx like myself, but finding a faceclaim that met the age requirements without being too old was hard as hell; so I settled for someone who was at least mixed Latinx.

Johnny had a terrible stutter growing up, and is still taking speech therapy for it (although it’s no longer as severe as it used to be); he learned basic ASL to help his communication skills.

Johnny has gad, autism, and adhd.

He’s been able to completely overhaul a car engine’s transmission since he was roughly 15 yrs old.

Originally a student at Glenville High; the incident with his former long-time bully Mike Snow has caused him to transfer to Midtown High at the beginning of this school year.

Some of his special interests are Star Trek, cars, astronomy, Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, Buffy, and film history.

Johnny has persistent nightmares/terrors of the crash; this often results in him burning even the most fireproof bed-sheets as he nearly goes Nova in the middle of the night.

#wild:intro #tw abuse #tw death #tw alcohol abuse #flying too close to the sun || musings

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wanna-one-imagine · 6 years

Text

PSA: on hating Wanna One

If you hate, dislike, or harbor any negative feeling whatsoever regarding Wanna One, I strongly encourage you to read this post.

The way we learn is not through affirming our mentalities and ideas, but instead by questioning and listening to other opinions.

As someone who is strongly multi-fandom, I’m going to keep this as unbiased as possible here. The group doesn’t have much time left, so I’d say give this a go. It won’t take long to read.

(@ wannables: please rt so we can spread the word! this is honestly the best time to be a multifandom wannable because we have so many interactions rn!! and if you’re a wannable that hates other groups, you better read this too)

Lately we’ve been seeing a lot of interactions between Wanna One and other (especially male) idol groups.

So, a lot of us Wannables have become increasingly multi-fandom (more than we were already: nobody begins their run with kpop with a survival show) - but, alas, we have found that a LOT of people from international k-pop fandoms, for some unknown reason, hate Wanna One with a burning passion.

For the relatively small international fandom, the amount of international hate towards Wanna One is overwhelming and hard to deal with.

So, without further ado, let me clear up some of the misconceptions you may have about the group!

Wanna One is friends with or looks up to the GROUPS YOU STAN.

tl;dr they friendly. Wannables know this, so a lot of us are multifandom - after all, not many people got into kpop BECAUSE of Produce 101. A lot of us have been around for a while and stan other groups.

Kang Daniel: Friends with Woozi (SEVENTEEN), Suga (BTS), Zico, Xiumin (EXO), Chanyeol (EXO), Mark (NCT) and many more - let’s be real Kang Daniel can be friends with whoever he wants, role model is Kai (EXO), TWICE Fanboy

Ha Sungwoon: Friends for years with Jimin (BTS), Taemin (SHINee), Kai (EXO) and also many more

Park Jihoon: Is literally in love with V (BTS), has said multiple times he looks up to V and pursued K-Pop because of him, in a gaming group with Jin (BTS), Eunkwang (BtoB), Youngjae (B.A.P), Ken (VIXX) - seen eating out together

Lee Daehwi: BFFs with Somi (Produce 101, JYP Sixteen - the show that formed Twice), remixed Got7 Hard Carry for produce 101 audition, Heize fangirls over him, friends with Bang Chan (Stray Kids), TWICE Fanboy

Ong Seongwoo: Friends with Mark (NCT), Kwangjin (N.Flying), Mina (gugudan), Namjoo (APink), role model is Kai (EXO), worked with Heize

Hwang Minhyun: caught fanboying over Red Velvet on insta, got acknowledged by NELL

Lai Guanlin: friends with Sehun (EXO), is in love with Wooseok (Pentagon), fanboyed over him in front of HyunA herself

Bae Jinyoung: EXO Fanboy, Sehun Fanboy

Park Woojin: Zico Fanboy, knows Zico irl now

Yoon Jisung: probably has friends but he won’t tell us, acknowledged by NELL

Kim Jaehwan: Embarrassed himself in front of Zico

Why do international fans hate Wanna One?

tl;dr Essentially, Wanna One is really popular in Korea - and not internationally - so the international fans hate them, pretty much because they’re successful. Large biased, sh*t reporting media sites like Allkpop and Netizenbuzz recognize this, and spew out bad articles on them with wrong translations and incorrect info because it gets them attention

Produce 101 season 2, the group that formed Wanna One, was hugely popular in Korea, not so much internationally. A large part of this may be because international fans couldn’t vote in the show

After produce 101 finished airing, it was obvious Wanna One would be popular in Korea. However, a lot of international fans didn’t know about this

So, when Wanna One debuted, their popularity was obviously very high. They began playing with the best, with groups that had been around for years

This resulted in the Wanna One members being called ungrateful, achieving fame “too fast”, even though it’s just a different means of getting there.

All of these boys weren’t just lucky. They worked extremely hard in their own way to get to this point, and they are aware that the group isn’t permanent. They know that it’s not going to all be smooth sailing from here - they’ve written songs on the impermanence of this feeling (see: hourglass, forever+1, always, I promise you, hell they have an album called “nothing without you”)

Sungwoon, Minhyun - both in “unsuccessful” groups for years before (Hotshot, Nu’est), had to strip off their “idol” image and perform as “trainees”

Daniel, Jisung - trainees for years under an unknown entertainment label (MMO) that likely wouldn’t have debuted them but instead used them for backup dancers (Daniel was actually going to leave to live in Canada - pd101 was his last resort, Jisung would have had to go to the military)

Jihoon, Jinyoung - have you ever heard of maroo or c9 entertainment? Likely would have debuted into a no name group

Daehwi, Woojin - Daehwi has already gotten so much hate from the start of the show even though he’s already 16, yet remained positive. Woojin rose from the 70s rank up until 6 through hard work alone.

Guanlin - moved from Taiwan by himself at 16 without knowing Korean to pursue his dream, is always showing thanks to fans, trying to speak in both English and Taiwanese as well

Jaehwan - won an entire TV show but nobody paid attention to him. Busked on the streets.

Seongwoo - nobody can deny that he is always thinks of the fans. writes his own freaking poetry for us

All of them always express their thanks to the fans, and even the man of the year, Kang Daniel, is commonly reported by outside sources (producers, tv show directors, other idols, etc) as simple - friendly and humble. Even though he’s always tired and in the public’s eye, he is one of the most active members on fancafe, even tries to respond to foreign fans in English

Haven’t they been involved with a lot of controversies?

tl;dr They’ve all been refuted. This is an unusual situation that happens when a group is popular, and the international fandom isn’t big enough to fight it.

Sites like Allkpop and Netizenbuzz just add fuel to the fire, releasing articles on untrue information, and then not releasing articles quickly or at all on clarifications

Also YMC/Swing sucks and doesn’t protect the boys (literally and figuratively) or the fandom. Instead of explaining situations or taking legal actions, they will either use the boys as a shield for their own mistakes, or force the boys to apologize for things they didn’t do.

Wannables in their natural habitat are fighting YMC (and now Swing entertainment) for something or the other. Right now the big deal is that Swing has banned fansites from taking pictures and Wannables are irate af lemme tell u

They’re not talented.

untrue

produce 101 was a show that if a mistake was made (all live btw), mnet would repeat the same clip 11 times with different angles and reactions

and wanna one is who we are left with. so make what you want of that

(lots of live performances to go around also)

I just don’t like their music.

Not a reason to hate a group.

Their music is pretty much generic K-pop. If you like K-pop, chances are you’ll like their music

Also, for their recent comeback they’ve worked with really incredible artists (Zico, Heize, NELL, Dynamic Duo). Try one of those

If you like kHipHop/kR&B

Kangaroo (prod. Zico)

Hourglass (prod. Heize)

11 (prod. Dynamic Duo)

If you like ballads/sad sh*t

Forever+1 (prod. NELL)

Always

I Promise You (confession version)

Beautiful

I wanna have (this is the GOAT)

If you like k-pop

Energetic (prod. Hui of Pentagon)

Light

Boomerang (okay we don’t really talk about this one tho)

Wannables are a toxic fandom.

This is something that gets thrown around a LOT. But in reality, most wannables are very multi-fandom. I will repeat it for a third time: nobody starts liking K-Pop because of a survival show, especially internationally. A lot of us are fans of other groups, so it sucks when our other home fandoms reject us.

The international Wannable community is extremely small (case in point: the company reducing the concert venue sizes by thousands in the US due to tickets not selling). This means our influence is also very small. It’s very unlikely that you have experienced such toxicity from a true Wannable.

On the topic of akgaes: look we don’t like them either, but even though the show was based on voting for your fave, most Wannables aren’t hating on the groupmates and literal friends of their biases. You could help us get rid of this image by promoting ot11!

KWannables are commonly seen supporting other groups, because they are very well aware of the fact that Wanna One is friends with/looks up to/likes other kpop groups.

They don’t want the group to disband. Of course, there’s a part of every Wannable that dreads that day. But, most of us understand that there’s more waiting for them, and we’ll continue to support in the future!

There’s more to say. But life and Wanna One’s run are both too short to spend hating a group of sweet, talented boys. There’s so much toxicity in K-pop. Imagine how your bias would feel if they knew you were attacking their friends or people that look up to them.

Let’s spread positivity, not all this hate.

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and-then-yoi-happened · 6 years

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Do you think there was a misunderstanding on Victor's part when he saw Yuuri's skating video? He was pretty forward with Yuuri that first night, so with that in mind, and also their encounter at the banquet, do you think it possible that Victor saw Yuuri's skating video as more than what would be taken at face value? Almost like a romantic gesture, in a way? Obviously Yuuri was already infatuated, but he didn't himself post the video, so it wasn't *intended* that way.

Thanksfor asking my opinion on this! ( ＾◡＾)

I’msorry this took a bit to answer and please bear with me, because thisgot long (and turned into an over 1,5k meta).

Inshort: A part of him might have hoped to date Yuuri, but not to theextend fanon seems to push this idea sometimes. Here’s why Ithink so:

Victor’spersonality:

I agreethat Victor is a romantic, but he’s so much more than that. A fewother characteristics are: very intelligent, sensible, incrediblyhard-working, a perfectionist, thorough, dedicated to his art, athroughout professional in the world of figure skating (please alwayskeep that in mind). Also, as a celebrity of sorts, I think it’sfair to assume he might tend to be careful when it comes to romance,dating and serious relationships. The show tells us he has a playboyimage, but I think it’s more a media rumour (he might’ve triedsome dates/relationships – we know of at least one – but theynever lasted, probably because he was famous and met a fair share ofshallow people. Another reason could be that he never really fell forthe other person and in the end neglected it in favour of hiscareer/he might have kept things rather casual in the first place andnever really fell in love). I don’t think he’s the playboy thatis his image, but I also don’t think he didn’t try dating or evena casual thing now and then.

What Imean is, despite him appearing to be a romantic deep down, it seemsOOC for me that he would leave everything and rush to Japan at theprospect of a romance, I rather think he’s looking for inspirationand motivation (he offers Yuuri a short-term coaching prospect atfirst, too). This doesn’t contradict that he’s attracted to Yuuriand that he might hope to date Yuuri in the foreseeable future.(Wouldn’t that be romantic! Moving countries, coaching the excitingand surprising Katsuki Yuuri and falling in true love! What if he’sthe one for my lonely heart! A romance just like in the books!)

Hiscareer and where he stands:

He’sbeen unbeatable for years and dedicated everything to figure skating.He’s passionate about it, neglects anything outside of skating,which in the end causes him to lose inspiration and motivation. Atthe beginning of the series, he’s over 30 points in the lead at theSochi GPF, so he’s in perfect condition and shape and nowhere nearretirement it seems. But with 27 years old he is also well-adviced tothink about his future after competing and start to make plans forthat future. I like to think that he wasn’t averse to the prospectof coaching, since the first words we hear him say in the series areactually tips and corrections for Yuri Plisetsky, who is expected tobecome his biggest rival in Russia with entering the senior division.Still, when the reporters ask him at the conference at worlds, justafter earning his 5th and consecutive gold there, hedoesn’t have a clear answer yet, but we later on learn that hestarted to work on Eros & Agape at this point, meaning he plannedto continue. For more on his career, see this meta.

Hisinteraction with Yuuri up until the Sochi GPF:

We gotthe confirmation from the creators that he knew who Yuuri was beforethe GPF in Sochi. He knew Yuuri was a fan of his and that Yuuri isJapan’s ace. The list of world-class competitors of figure skatingis short, meaning it’s a small world and everyone knows each other.

Pleaseremember at this point that Yuuri is an unreliable narrator and canbe hard on himself: looking back at the length of his competitivecareer it’s more than likely that he skated on the same ice asVictor in competitions before season 1, and we probably aren’t toldthat by Yuuri because he wasn’t happy with how he did at thosecompetitions (maybe he just so made the top ten at worlds? Maybe itreally was the first time he managed to get to the GPF and thequalifiers “don’t count”, because he didn’t “earn” toskate against Victor there the way he “earned” it throughqualifying for the final? Or plain and simple, the creators didn’thave the time to add this detail.). Victor must’ve gotten Yuuri’sanxious cold-shoulder every time and asks him for the commemorativephoto after the final when he sees Yuuri looking at him. I think hejust tried to break the ice here, but Yuuri downright rejected himand rudely on top of that.

Duringthe banquet:

There’sa meta that points out how carefully he approaches drunk and dancingYuuri during the banquet that follows. It’s also impossible that hedidn’t notice how drunk Yuuri was that evening (sure, he didn’tknow Yuuri would forget it completely). With Yuuri’s behaviouruntil the banquet and his drunkenness in mind I feel like Victor’smore rational side isn’t really surprised – and didn’t expectYuuri to actively try to reach out to him afterwards.

I also have ahard time to believe that he instantly fell for Yuuri – though I dobelieve that this evening changed something for him (maybe it reallygave him the coaching idea? It at least gave him inspiration for newprograms). Really, I want to believe that he choreographed Eros &Agape thinking of Yuuri, but I don’t know if that’s confirmed.All in all I’d say he walked out of the banquet with a coachingidea, feeling attracted to Yuuri, with maybe a crush and in highspirits, having had more fun in one evening than he had in a longtime.

Thefirst time he sees the video:

Thefirst time he sees the video of Yuuri skating his routine he seemsvery serious and concentrated, in fact I thought that he looked kindof upset the first time I saw the series. Besides analysing Yuuri’sskill closely, he probably wonders why Yuuri stopped competing –he’s not in shape in that video and wasn’t at worlds as Japan’srepresentative. I think he sees the potential in Yuuri to be theserious competition he didn’t have in the past seasons, the rivalthat could’ve made it an exciting and motivating challenge tocompete (remember the +30 points difference in scores between him andChris, something like that doesn’t happen in real life skatingunless the competition is a painful to watch splat-fest).

Also, Ipersonally would be like “WTF?!” at someone who refused to speakto me/acknowledge me at any given chances, but dances with me whendrunk, not to mention the dry humping part, asks me to be theircoach, never tries to contact me about this again, drops out ofcompetition and then recreates my routine to a T, withoutbeing coached, and proceeds to upload it afterwards.

I feellike one of the closest to canon interpretations of this moment is,that to Victor it looks like Yuuri was ashamed of his drunkenbehaviour and after ending things with his coach, trains and uploadsthe video almost directly after worlds to prove himself worthy ofVictor’s time and coaching with it. Demonstrating what he’s ableto pull off and proving that he really wants Victor to be hiscoach. He didn’t just upload anything, but Victor’s mostrecent, incredible difficult, gold-winning routine. And really,Victor’s expression in that scene didn’t strike me as theexpression of someone jumping at the chance of a romantic adventure,to me it always looked like he went “challenge accepted”, trulychallenged for once, able to pull something absolutely surprisingoff.

Moreover,he gets presented with the ability to test if coaching would be apossible post-competing profession. He at first only promises totrain Yuuri for the GPF and if you follow real life skating, you’llknow that not competing for a part of the season isn’t that big ofa deal, it happens fairly often (though in most cases it’s becauseof injuries).

Whenhe arrives at Hasetsu:

A whileago dear Andie posted this entertaining meta, stating that Victorwasn’t expecting Yuuri to rush to the baths when he soaked there,relaxing after his travels, and I agree with that. When he rose todeclare his plans, completely in the nude, he went harder thannecessary (in case we’re going that far withassumptions/interpretation: if he really hoped to get some casual fungoing, why not “hint” that?). He then proceeds to test the watersfurther, meaning he flirts shamelessly during the secondepisode/first night in Hasetsu, but turns it down and stops whenYuuri makes it clear he’s not interested.

Lookingback now, it is clear that Victor was trying to play a fitting role,testing different behaviours, not knowing what else to do since thatwas what he always did. We all know where it ends: he finally decidesto openly ask Yuuri in the beach scene of EP4.

Buthe has tears in his eyes after Yuuri refused to sleep with him!

Yes, hehas. Personally, I don’t think he’s crying because he wasrejected and the grand romance is in shatters now (even if he hopedfor the romance, this wouldn’t be the only reason for tears here).Other reasons for those tears could be frustration and regret.

Frustration,because he had a tiring day of travelling, jet-lag and Yuuri notgreeting him happily, not going “omg you’ll really coachme!!! I’m speechless and so honoured!!!” (for the romance part:Yuuri’s not reciprocating the flirting as well). Regret, because hemight see now that he didn’t think this through and might have madea mistake.

Ingeneral it is quite common to have this moment of frustration andregret shortly after taking a big step, when the possible, bad andunwanted outcome catches up to you and you go “oh shit”. Maybethose arguments regarding the tears may sound like excuses, but Ireally wouldn’t read heartbreak into them, not after all thearguments I brought before.

Inconclusion (TL;DR):

Yes, hemight have daydreamed of and a part of him might have hoped for theperfect love story, but I think it’s ignorant towards the rest ofhis character to reduce his actions to him “chasing tail” or“misunderstanding Yuuri skating stammi vicino for a signalthat Yuuri wants him romantically”. This just ignores all the otherfacts in this meta and is quite a two-dimensional interpretation. Awell written story acknowledges that the world isn’t black andwhite, it gives its characters more than one motivation for (all of)their actions.

I hopeI could give you a satisfying answer with this meta, nonny! Feel freeto ask if you want to know more and/or want me to elaborate.~

#answered asks #yuri on ice #yoi meta #asks #victuuri #I really can't half-ass anything; can I?#anyway; enjoy the read <3 #and check the other linked metas #they're awesome

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thewadapan · 6 years

Photo

I rewrote an obscure Transformers comic from the 1980s.

Creator’s Commentary

It’s 1984. Marvel’s four-issue Transformers miniseries has been a smash hit, and they’re already expanding it into a full monthly ongoing. Marvel’s UK branch is looking to import the book, but they have a problem - the newsagents want weekly issues, and there simply isn’t enough comic to fill those pages.

To meet demand, they bring on Simon Furman to write extra comics weaving into the US material. Because he’s the only one with any idea what's going on, he continues to churn out Transformers stories for almost ten years - with only occasional contributions from other authors.

“Peace” is one such interloper.

Written by letterer/editor Richard Starkings under his “Richard Alan” pseudonym for the 1989 Transformers Annual (which was actually published in 1988), it presents one of Cybertron’s alternate futures. Its exact placement in continuity was contentious - even within the comics’ own letters pages, where the editors (writing in-character as Transformers) gave several contradictory answers to questions regarding its canonicity.

The comic opens when the final Decepticon is killed by the Wreckers - an elite group of Autobot shock-troopers. With the war over, the very-very-tired Autobot leader Rodimus Prime announces that he’s going to step down - letting the Wreckers’ leader, Springer, take his place.

Unbeknownst to the Autobots, not all of the Decepticons are dead after all - the double agent Triton still hides amongst their ranks. In an attempt to incite conflict, Triton suggests that Ultra Magnus would make a better leader. The Technobot combiner team agrees, and an argument breaks out between them and the Wreckers. Whirl argues with Triton, Triton punches Whirl, Roadbuster pulls a gun on Triton, Scattorshot shoots Roadbuster, Sandstorm shoots Triton, and the war begins again.

It’s a grimly interesting story, one forever doomed to remain a footnote in Transformers history. Fittingly for a bot of subterfuge, Triton’s alternate mode was a submarine - at least according to Dreadwind in the letters pages. Marvel UK fanboy-turned-creator Nick Roche much later reinvented him as a member of Squadron X - sworn enemies of the Wreckers in IDW Publishing’s Transformers continuity.

In its most recent reprint as part of the twenty-second volume of The Definitive G1 Collection, “Peace” was left stranded as an afterthought alongside Regeneration One - with the rest of the UK strips being collected across the first twenty volumes alongside their contemporary US material. That partwork was curated by Simon Furman, who still writes Transformers stories to this day - despite pleas from some corners of the fandom for him to just call it quits already.

Richard Starkings, meanwhile, went on to found Comicraft - bringing lettering into the 21st century by pioneering the use of digital fonts in comic books.

I wasn’t alive when most of that happened. My first brush with Transformers - at least, as far as I remember - came when I saw Transformers: Armada’s Land Military Mini-Con Team on the shelves of my local Woolworths (a much-loved now-defunct chain of British department stores). I didn’t get it at the time, but when our birthdays rolled around (or maybe Christmas? I was young; I barely remember any of this and neither do my parents) my brother and I got a bunch of Mini-Cons. Our first brush with Generation 1 would come much later, when we found a knackered Strafe at a car boot sale.

For a long time, my only experience with Transformers fiction came in the form of the cartoons - they didn’t show Armada on Freeview so I missed most of that, but Energon and Cybertron both aired in their entirety on CITV. I had the pack-in comics, and the Armada and Energon annuals - which basically just collected random Dreamwave comics without context. All of which is to say that, at the time, I felt pretty starved for good Transformers stories.

Finding the 1989 Annual in a secondhand bookshop, then, was like finding the holy grail.

I won’t lie. I had basically no idea who any of these characters were, or what was going on. But damn if I didn’t pore over every inch of those pages trying to work it out. And I sure as hell was gonna sign the thing, lest those abominable Firecons paid me a visit to finally incinerate what was presumably the only Annual they’d missed back in 1988.

Years passed. Some movies came out. I drifted away from Transformers for a while after my parents said “aren’t you a little too old for these” one time too many. Well, it was either that or the hordes of overpriced Bumblebees clogging the shelves at the time.

Eventually, though, I was drawn back to the franchise. A Humble Bundle of IDW’s comics and Thrilling 30 Sandstorm was all it took.

For some reason, at some point I decided to start a meme page. I don’t know why. Please don’t look at it. I don’t want to talk about it. Most of the edits I made were atrocious, although I’ll admit there’s a few I still find pretty funny. I actually referenced Transformers a bunch of times. There was this whole thing where I tried to work in a plot, so really the whole thing was much closer to a terrible webcomic than an actual meme page.

Perhaps the most involved reference to the franchise came in the form of a relettering of “The Night the Transformers Saved Christmas”, a 4-page comic originally published in a 1985 issue of Women’s Day. Why did I make that thing? I don’t know. Maybe a little more context would help.

Y’see, waaay back when the first Armada toys hit shelves, fans weren’t too impressed - to say the least. They’d seen pictures of highly-articulated prototypes, only to find that articulation completely absent in the finalised figures. To make matters worse, the first pack-in comic was pretty lacklustre - thanks to the trilingual dialogue squeezed into its speech bubbles.

One enterprising fan (Yartek, now better known as Blueshift) expressed their dissatisfaction by completely rewriting that pack-in comic’s dialogue - reimagining Hot Shot as a deranged, jam-obsessed cannibal. It was an idle joke, but one that tapped into the collective consciousness of the fandom at the time. Its popularity grew to the point where it was even referenced on the license plate of a later Hot Shot figure.

By Blueshift’s own admission, the comic isn’t all that great. Nowadays, the atmosphere surrounding Armada’s launch is but a hazy memory for most of the fandom - leaving the comic’s depiction of Hot Shot looking more like an uncomfortably ableist caricature than anything approximating a real parody.

But I digress. I was barely aware of Transformers when all of this happened. My point is that JaAm was like an abridged series, only presented as a comic, and I thought that was a neat idea. I was looking to make a post that was a little bit different for Christmas Day, and remembered the existence of that old Women’s Day comic. Thus was born “its christmas... so what??”

My process for that one was pretty straightforward. After reading the comic once to get a broad sense of its plot, I went through it again panel-by-panel - blocking out each narration box with an autoshape and adding my own text. Mustard features pretty heavily in it... I guess as a reference to jam? Honestly, I was writing this thing entirely by the seat of my pants and - with the exception of the choice panels I’m including here - it’s pretty unfunny as a result. I’m not proud of it. Even at the time, I felt like I could’ve done better. So, half a year later, I did.

When the mood eventually took me, there was only one option in my head - Richard Starkings’ “Peace”. This time, I took a moment to plan the whole thing out in my head before diving in.

I think my idea for the plot came about simply as a result of Rodimus’ body language and expressions on the second page. I reckon I looked at them and thought, “man, he looks like he’s just caught a whiff of something pretty nasty.” From there, my mind jumped to Triton... the culprit, naturally.

When you go back and read some of the early Marvel stuff, there’s a bit of dissonance between the Furman-esque galaxy-spanning conflicts and the more offbeat “the Transformers crash a wrestling match / concert / car wash” stories written by US author Bob Budiansky. At times, the Transformers could be figures of real gravitas - and at others, they were almost like children.

For both “its christmas” and “PASS” I tried to lean into the latter interpretation as much as possible. As a reflection of that, the dialogue and narration - both written in Times New Roman - are completely devoid of punctuation, capital letters, or special formatting. Well, mostly...

There’s a few instances in “its christmas” where capital letters are used for emphasis.

Roadbuster’s dialogue gets to keep its punctuation, and is written in (I think) Arial, because he’s supposed to be more mature than the rest.

Each comic had one panel which retained some of its original dialogue - the fourth on the first page of “its christmas”, and the fourth on the fourth page of “PASS”.

There’s a couple of instances in the comic where characters use swear words, only the wrong letter’s censored - “sh*t” became “*hit”, “f*ck” became “*uck”. That’s simply an artefact of the comic’s origins in my old meme page, where that was a running joke.

In addition to changing the text, I also made a few visual edits...

I changed the comic’s title from “PEACE” to “PASS” (as in, to pass gas) by chopping up and rotating bits of it.

I changed the credits for “RICHARD ALAN” (writer) and “GLIB” (letterer) to “ME” and “ME AGAIN”.

On the fifth page, I rotated Springer’s, Ultra Magnus’ and Sandstorm’s mouths by 180 degrees - changing them from horrified grimaces to jaunty smirks. That’s why they’re kind of lopsided relative to the rest of their expressions! Honestly, the original version looks pretty strange to me now.

I likewise modified Sandstorm’s and Ultra Magnus’ expressions in the first panel of the final page, and Nosecone’s in the second panel.

I scribbled out the question mark in the little “THE END?” box on the final page. This is the definitely the end; no need to beat around the bush.

The idea to make Roadbuster a butt monkey stemmed from the fact that he was the only non-triple-changer to appear on the first page. I saw that panel with the four of them together and thought “one of these guys is not like the others.” And of course, I knew that he’d be dead in a few more pages.

Once I’d established Springer as a bully, I started to get a sense for what life was like amongst the Autobots - but there were still things I wanted to leave open to interpretation...

Why does Roadbuster hang around with the other Autobots so persistently, when all he receives is abuse?

Is Triton’s fixation on “cred” overblown, or is it the only reason he’s survived as long as he has?

Is Rodimus really past his Prime?

Who’s really the coolest Autobot?

Are the Autobots inherently bad people, or simply products of their environment?

If they’re the latter, does that excuse their actions?

If these are the Autobots... then what were the Decepticons like?

Here’s some other miscellaneous notes...

There’s a single speech bubble on the fourth page where the speaker’s off-panel. In the original comic it belonged to Triton, shouting “HEY!” Here, I like to think it’s Whirl speaking.

In the narration of the second panel, I refer to the Transformers as “car robots” - a nod to the Japanese name of the Transformers: Robots in Disguise series.

Rodimus’ “light their darkest hour” line is, of course, a quote from the 1986 animated Transformers movie. Yes, I’m as tired of those references as you are, but no, I couldn’t resist.

I can’t remember if it was deliberate, but I’m pretty sure “if you catch my drift” was a nod to The Transformers: More than Meets the Eye - where original character Drift stars as Rodimus’ third-in-command.

Speaking of More than Meets the Eye - when it was relaunched as Lost Light, Rodimus got a brand new purple colour scheme. In “Pass”, Rodimus agonises over whether or not to get that same paint job.

“Mucho cred” is kind of a memetic phrase amongst readers of the superhero web serial Worm. I feel like “cred” is one of those inherently funny words (along with “cahoots”), so that was enough to justify its inclusion here. If you’ve somehow made it this far into this post, trust me when I say that Worm is a rabbit hole well worth tumbling down.

“Peace” has a very strong atmosphere. It’s about a group of individuals - who’ve known nothing but conflict for thousands of years - suddenly finding themselves with nobody to point their guns at. That exact same scenario played out decades later in IDW Publishing’s Transformers continuity, where it was explored in much greater depth - but in just six standalone pages, “Peace” presents its broad themes with impressive clarity.

I think we’re very much invited to root for Triton - he’s a real worm, but he’s also an underdog. When characters are created whole cloth in Transformers stories, they’re marked for death.

“Pass”, on the other hand, is about a group of kids who’ve lost all sense of perspective. The most important thing to each of the group’s members is how they are perceived by the rest. They’ve been living under ever-increasing social pressure, and things are finally reaching a boiling point - and people die as a result.

And I say “kids”, but the truth is that I still see these dynamics amongst grown adults today - admittedly without the death. For any given subculture, you’re going to find ingroups, outgroups, and the awkward middle ground between them. If I thought there was a clear-cut solution, I would’ve put it in the comic. But oftentimes - like I said in the closing panels - there isn’t really anyone at fault.

If you fart in public, don’t stress about it too much. Nobody really minds. Just own up. And whatever you do, don’t try to pass the blame - or else...

As one final nod to Marvel UK’s Transformers comics... here are some short AtoZ profiles for the entire cast!

You can follow me on twitter if you want to see more of my Transformers ramblings. The rest of my writing can be found right here on this blog - I recommend starting with Everything Is Red Now, a dumb comic about Spider-Man.

#Transformers #Marvel #comics #The Wadapan #31/02/2019

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sunshinedevotee · 6 years

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yet another very necessary taehyung rant

i’m back! before i start i’d like to say i appreciate you all so much for the comments and such, even the ones who claim that tae isn’t underrated (begone thots), you motivate my procrastinating ass. you guys don’t need to thank me though i’m just doing the lord’s work. now i have things to talk about so let’s get started!

if you’re new to these posts then this part 3 of what has kind of become a series (?), where i go on rants defending taehyung and explain why he’s kind of underrated. contrary to popular belief; as you’re about to see, boi needs it.

now i’m sorry, but before everything i really want to talk about this man and his precious dog!!

RIGHT MY DUDE TAEHYUNG DIDN’T JUST GET ANY DOG, HE GOT A FOSTER. LET’S PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT. he even asked the guy how to be a good dog owner, the same guy went on to say he didn’t believe he and tae were the same species lmao.

moving on to the sad shit

hate

i will never shut up about this. the popular members get hate too. honestly everyone will go on about how the hyung line members get hate (totally fair), but nobody wants to talk about the shit the maknaes have to deal with cause they’re popular. i’ve never seen someone as grossly sexualised as jimin is, i’ve seen many a horror. jk gets so much hate for having a lot of lines, as if it isn’t tiring and stressful for him. and honestly tae just can’t fucking breathe without getting berated for it. here’s a list of things he’s gotten hate for:

-suggesting a movie with a sex scene (which made him stop his film reccs)

-suggesting a song with sexual lyrics

-posting work from his favourite photography which contained nudity

fun fact; taehyung is an a d u l t, what a concept.

-showing yeontan in jin’s vlive

-saying older brothers should care for their little sisters (they said he’s sexist)

-landing an acting role before jin

-winning face of 2017

some jk stans were mad cause jk got more likes on instagram (if you didn’t know the nominees’ pictures were posted on an insta account and people thought they were meant to vote for who they wanted to win.) jk had gotten more votes on his picture so people were mad that tae won, but apparently it’s not the case.

tldr; despite him being the most beautiful creature on this sad earth, it’s not just about visuals and it’s a big deal that he got chosen

general sadness

i’ll say this again. even though everyone thinks tae stans showing concern is twelve year olds trying to stir up drama, we have good reason to do so.

let’s take a moment to talk about stigma, the lyrics are already ambiguous and seemingly sad. this is what he said about it:

"stigma is about hurting. when i started creating it i wanted it to be about being cut over and over again. i wanted army to feel my hurting? in mvs I’m shown as a person who’s hurt, but it hurts so much that i become someone who enjoys that pain.”

and even that one time taehyung started crying when reading his letter to jimin on bon voyage S2, he started crying and talking about jimin being there for him when he was “crying in the bathroom” uhh c h i l d

remember when the members jumped on tae to open up to them? the way they spoke...you can tell he had gone through something and it breaks my heart honestly, but it seems the members are caring for him.

visuals

his visuals have gotten him far and this is just a fact. he must feel like his only significance in the group is being a visual. honestly when members are being acknowledged for things and it comes to him they’ll always say something like ‘thx for not being ugli lol’.

i know this is a thing in kpop i guess but it’s as if he’s just there to look pretty and...growl? and what else? oh yes! be lol so random xd. this really pisses me off cause even in old interviews namjoon would introduce him as ‘the member responsible for 4d charms’ and you’d just see his expression drop immediately.

don’t get me wrong, it’s just a fact that he’s a popular bias cause of his looks, that’s just the way it is and i know it. we as people sub-consciously show bias towards people we find attractive in everyday situations. i’m pretty sure if he weren’t so stunning some people would probably bash him for his ‘alien behaviour’ rather than be like ‘oh ahaha tae-oppa is so cute l o l xd’ or some other cringy shit.

anyway, he has a lot of fans because of his appearance, who probably think they’re the biggest stan just cause they’ve heard stigma like four times. maybe they watch some ‘taehyung extra compilations’ now and then, but they don’t actually know shit about him andng;sd’#;l#fdfd

for those that don’t know, he had originally accompanied a friend to the auditions and had no plans to audition himself. he was spotted by an employee who told him he had to audition because he was so good-looking. his looks definitely got him where he is, i imagine it makes him feel like his only significant feature is the fact that he’s pretty. a lot of people have nothing good to say about him not regarding his looks/behavior.

if you get really deep into it, i think he feels like his visuals are the only reason he’s loved by fans at all. although he doesn’t do it anymore, i’m pretty sure he used to exaggerate his attitude so that people would like him. i know this feeling all too well myself and while i obviously can’t pin point what’s going on in that pretty lil head of his, i think i’ve got an idea. you’re really just ‘weird’ and you try to pass it off as quirky then you’re like ‘oh you like this?’ so you keep acting that way, afraid you’ll stop being interesting. it was brought to my attention that people are actually dropping him cause he’s become more quiet recently :(.

can i ask why? when taehyung is so beautiful inside and out, he’s definitely got flaws we all do, but while he isn’t perfect there’s just something so unique about him. he’s so clever sometimes yet he can have those dumb moments like forgetting what year it is, he seems like he’s just a cutie yet he’s so mysterious and vague. he’s this beautiful mess of self-contradictions and i love him for it, my favourite art hoe. i found a tae personality-analysis here on tumblr and it was an enjoyable read, op says they had a hard time with his mysterious ass haha

now let’s talk about tae being a golden maknae (hear me out!)

i got this comment

hmm i didn’t know that he auditioned as a rapper. [some of the members really came in with little to no experience in their field though, isn’t that impressive?] yeah that’s true, like i’ve said this before but tae is a golden maknae, he can rap okay? it only sounds weird cause we’re not used to it. even in the table room skit they did that freestyle rap and tae was really good, i’ve read that yoongi himself was really impressed with him!!

and he can dance pretty well too um why isn’t he dance line ???

tae’s been underrated since the start, he was even hidden at the start as he was a ‘secret weapon’, for what? surprise surprise; his looks :o i’m pretty sure he knows this, and it all must add more to the probable mixed feelings he has regarding his role in the group.

singing

please talk about his beautiful deep voice, i didn’t even like deep voices until he came around. also let’s appreciate the fact that he came in with no experience and apparently originally auditioned as a rapper?

C R Y S T A L S N O W though I mean oh my god.

my friend once said; ‘i cry every night at taehyung’s wasted potential’ ( @n-uee what’s good?) which is too accurate. i’ve said pretty much all i needed to say on this subject in the previous part. still though acknowledging his high note in stigma isn’t enough, please he is finally not being wasted on growling anymore talk about it

yeah uh finally finished i’ve been dragging this on and editing it for months lmao i’m such a procrastinator. anyway as i said he’s not just a pretty face and there is so much more underneath the surface. i wish tae well and await his next cover!

part 1 , part 2

ofcourse none of these posts are complete without some pictures, so have taehyung with dogs aka my favourite concept in the world:

anyway he’s one of the only good things in my life in this god awful world and i purple him bye.

#taehyung #kth #bts #kim taehyung #ipurpleunet #taehyung icons #taekook #vmin #vhope #taegi #taejin #vmon #bts v #kpop #rant #tae #fave #kth defense squad #kth defense squad leader

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mammamialetmegooo · 6 years

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My Thomas Sanders Post (or Why I Think Thomas Sanders Is An Incredible Human)

I often get asked the following question by my friends: “Mia, why do you like Thomas Sanders so much?” My reply is usually something like, “I could write a thesis paper on why I love him so much. There are just too many reasons,” which is my way of using a bit of hyperbole to say “that’s too complex of a subject for me to just casually talk about right now.”

However, in this current moment I’m doing nothing except listening to music so I figured this would be the perfect time for me to get into this complex and beautiful subject matter and provide an answer for anybody who may have been curious.

Disclaimer: I’ve never actually met Thomas (sadly). Every thing I’m going to say here is based simply on what I’ve observed through his presence online (his videos, tweets, instagram posts etc.)

Now let’s begin...

Reason #1: He is incredibly selfless. He seldom lets the spotlight be solely on him. In regards to content, every video or project he comes out with he makes sure his audience is aware of all the other people who worked on it besides himself. He constantly praises the hard work of those around him who have worked hard to help him in creating content because he knows they deserve just as much, if not more praise than him for the work that was done. Go to his instagram and twitter and look at the countless kind things he’s said about the people who work with him. When he’s not busy giving credit where credit is due, he is saying kind things to his followers online. If you do follow him on twitter, then you know how frequently he spends time thanking his followers for any messages of praise or artwork/tributes people have spent time on for him. I will touch on this more in the next reason, but I wanted to bring it up here because of one twitter exchange I noticed at the end of Decemeber (Dec. 28, 2018). In short, twitter user @/abigaylexxxdawn sent a video to Thomas asking if he could contribute a video message to a gift they were making for their friend. The video was for their friend to watch when they feel like “nobody cares.” Thomas not only obliged to do this, but the message he sent was incredibly moving. Instead of saying something like “Hey friend, I’m here to tell you things are okay because I say so and I love you (you get what I mean,)” he chose to instead focus on how kind the twitter user was for going to all the effort they went to making this video gift for them. To quote Thomas in the video: “There are plenty of people in your life who care about you and what you want to do for the future. I hope that you care about you and what you do in the future because that’s just as important, but at the very least, just think back to that your friend went out of her way to create these videos for you in order to make you feel better when you needed it.” He didn’t have to do this at all, but he did and he never once makes the video about him or his own struggles when he very easily could have. It’s easy for any person of notoriety to record a video saying “Hey, you’ll be okay. Life get’s better because I say so and I’m super popular so it must be true,” (again, you know what trying to say) but that’s not what Thomas is doing here at all. He took time out of his night when he was already tired to think of something thoughtful and important that this girl could give to her friend and that act alone says so much about the kind of person he is.

Reason #2: He’s grateful for the position he is in. Let’s go back to what I was saying earlier about thanking his followers online. About once every day (often times more than that), Thomas takes some time to look through his various online platforms (twitter, tumblr, instagram etc) and talk to people who send him messages. He thanks people who write him kind words or do cosplays based on the many characters he’s created online. He does Fan Art Friday (Super Art Saturday/Sunday if he’s busy or forgets) to showcase tons of the awesome fan art he gets tagged in every single week. Even when he’s not shouting out anyone specific, he will often tweet about his gratitude for all the people who have supported his online journey over the years. He makes it clear that he knows none of this would be possible without all the online support he’s gotten and says thank you for it at any given opportunity.

Reason #3: How much he loves his friends. This kind of hits on some of the stuff I talked about in reason one, but I think it’s important to give this it’s own point because it’s a very important reason for me. So as I said earlier, Thomas is not afraid to give his friends credit for all the hard work they do in helping him with content. He is also not shy in talking about how TALENTED his friends are, and he has a valid point! Whether they’re actors, singers, dancers, artists, costume makers etc...Thomas is surrounded by some INSANELY talented people and he wants the world to know it! The reason this is so important for me to bring up is that for most of my young life (so far anyway, I’m only 21) I never had anyone like this in my life. I didn’t know what a true friend was until I got to college a few years ago, so when I see Thomas constantly supporting his friends and singing their praises, it really warms my heart. It makes me wish there were more people like him in the world, so that no kid ever has to be lonely like I was for so long.

Reason #4: He keeps his content accessible and inclusive for all. If you watch his content, then you’ll know Thomas seldom ever curses or talks about troubling topics. He has said time and time again that the goal with his content is to make people smile and by keeping his channel open for all kinds of audiences, he has certainly been able to do that. Besides his language, he also uses his platform to talk about important issues. He has made videos about Black History (2), Women’s History, Asian Pacific American Heritage, the LGBTQ+, community and Autism Awareness (each videos features people of their respective minority/group). A cis white male like Thomas using his platform to spread awareness about minority groups is SO IMPORTANT, especially in today’s society where everything can often seem so oppressing and negative. Thomas also combats this on his channel with his “Reasons to Smile” video series. These videos are a compilation of random and wonderful facts about the world, dad jokes and messages of inspiration for those who may be feeling down. The goal with this series is to provide some light for those who may be experiencing some mental health troubles. Thomas has also used his popular “Sanders Sides” series to tackle different mental health issues as well, “Accepting Anxiety” (two parts) and “Learning New Things About Ourselves” being some of the most notable videos in the series that tackle this issue. This representation and accessibility are inspiring not only to people who can identify with any of these issues, but to people who can’t identify with them as well. I, a cis white female have learned so much from the videos about Black & APA Heritage and even Women’s history too! As someone who questions their sexual identity constantly, the Pride video was really helpful to me when I was wondering what I was supposed to label myself as (I’ve since learned I don’t have to give myself a label at all and neither does anyone else!) AND as somebody who struggles with anxiety/panic attacks and just a general bad state of mental health (though I’ve been a lot better recently) I’ve found A LOT of relief in Thomas’ content, especially the Sanders Sides videos. If I, just one person, can be affected by ALL of that incredible content, then I’m sure others have been as well.��

Reason #5: Miscellaneous. There are SO MANY OTHER reasons to love Thomas Sanders, but this post is already pretty long and if I were to keep going in so much depth you’d be reading this forever, so let me speed things up....He has the voice of an angel. He creates genuinely funny content that doesn’t make fun of anyone (except maybe himself, but that’s rarely ever). His selfie game is S T R O N G. Actually, he’s very photogenic no matter what kind of photo he’s taking. According to many reports online, he gives really really great hugs. His smile could warm the coldest of hearts. Speaking of hearts, his is really good...I just know it.

So there you go. It might not be a thesis paper, but I think I proved my point. Again, I don’t know him personally all of this is based on what I’ve observed online, but I think anyone who displays so much positivity and goodness online has to be even better in person, right?

In conclusion, thank you @thatsthat24 for being a wonderful person. Keep spreading your light and keep being you. I promise, it’s paying off. ❤️❤️❤️

#thomas sanders #my neck hurts from sitting at my computer for so long typing this #worth it #sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #deceit sanders #reasons to smile

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