#this is about a lot of people by the way not just one or two people

[vxnuslogy]

— retail therapy. ft sunday

— warnings: slight angst if you squint hard enough

— author's note: self-indulgent stellaron hunter sunday after playing the new tb quest. ~2.4k words.

“is this…” sunday gestures with his hands, “also part of our script?”

you let out a laugh. balancing firefly and kafka’s shopping bags in your hands, you only shook your head at the angel-like man with an amused smile on your lips. 

“no, it is not.” kafka was browsing the dress sections with keen interest, blade was peering over silver wolf’s shoulder watching her as she played yet another video game, and firefly was looking over the rack of new hats. “but it’s a good change of pace. you all deserve to relax after such a hard mission.”

“i don’t think this really fits my criteria of relaxation, [name].” you only laugh at sunday’s sigh. offering him a small pat on the back and dragging him by his sleeve to where kafka was beckoning you over. “you’ll get used to it eventually. next time, we’ll do something that fits your criteria of relaxation.”

the silver haired man only shook his head. but deep down you knew he was enjoying himself – the wings behind his ears often betrayed him by openly showing what he actually felt. every now and then, they would flutter and puff up whenever silver wolf drags him to another section with new games or when he tries to deny kafka’s attempt at getting him a new shirt or coat (after his wings fluttered a bit too hard at this one coat kafka bought it immediately).

“what do you think?” you ask as you put down the bags that've been weighing down on your arms. “about us, i mean, are you adjusting well?”

you notice sunday’s hesitation, you always have when it comes to him – he often wonders how wise and knowledgeable you are to know how he felt. a hum left your lips as you sat down on one of the offered chairs at the shoe section while blade reached to the top shelf to get what firefly was pointing at. 

“i…” he starts, voice just above whisper. “don’t know.”

another hum escapes your lips. scooting over to make space for him and patting the space, urging him to sit besides you. sunday does, though reluctantly, sit beside you as you watch silver wolf giggle at firefly’s struggle to walk in heels. blade’s hands hover over her figure as she stomps her way over to the shorter girl to pinch her cheeks to which she protested.

“they’re nice people.” you say, gaze never leaving them. “the galaxies may say otherwise, but they're truly the kindest people i have ever met.”

“i… apologize.”

you raise a brow at him. “what’s with the apology?” 

“i have only ever thought of the five of you as bad people.” sunday admits with a heavy heart. eyes finding much entertainment on his gloves that you had gifted. “i… do not know how to act around you all, when i’ve only ever heard bad things about you. it feels wrong to suddenly be thrusted into your already tight knit group.”

you only hum in understanding. hand coming to caress the top of his head when you stood up when blade called you over.

“we understand, mr. sunday.” you gave him a small smile as you picked up the many shopping bags you had. “these sorts of things take time, just take it one step at a time.”

he only nods. and like the gentleman that he is, steals away the heavier bags in your hands with an awkward smile.

—

“do you miss the person you were before you joined?”

you wonder if blade has ever mentioned to sunday how you loved thought evoking questions like the one he had just asked. recently, the two have been paired up a lot for missions - you’re still on the fence on whether it's a good or bad thing, but you’re leaning more towards the former. you only gave a thoughtful hum as you spooned another scoop of ice cream into your mouth.

kafka had grown bored of the dresses and shoes and wanted to get something to eat. now here you were, outside a quaint little ice cream shop as blade orders for everyone - silver wolf and firefly hiding behind the man like two kids. 

sunday was sitting in front of you, laughing silently after catching a glimpse of the two tables across from you being filled with your shopping bags. you laughed as well and when your eyes met his, sunday quickly averted his gaze towards his own cold treat.

“do i ever miss the person i was before i joined…” you echo his question. “sometimes, in the middle of the night whenever i’m feeling a bit too sentimental, i do.” a fond expression was probably present on your face as sunday hummed in acknowledgement. “i miss the comfort of my bed as i scrolled endlessly on my phone. or how a certain little creature in red would bring me tea and biscuits when i let time pass in my little workshop. i miss them every chance i get.”

yes, every chance you get, you reminisce over your past life. missing your father’s quick temper, your brother’s indifference, your mother’s absence; you missed them all, despite all their flaws and the bitterness that swam in your heart. and of course, how could you ever forget your little escapades in different planets with a seasoned adventurer and his vast knowledge of animation and travel or the little waddling of a conductor as they scold you nearly not making it back. you missed them all very dearly.

“what about you, mr. sunday? do you miss penacony?”

“would it be wrong of me… if i said no…?”

admittedly, that was the exact opposite of what you thought his answer would be.

the six of you were now in the car with you and blade driving (firefly suggested you all take two cars so you won’t have to be squeezed together in one). silver wolf was fast asleep at the back seat, using the many shopping bags as her makeshift pillows. you and sunday sat at the front, keeping a close eye on blade’s red car in front of you as you pondered what you would say next.

“i don’t think that’s the whole truth, but it’s not an entire lie either.” was your only response. from the corner of your eye, you see sunday take off his gloves and lay them on his lap. “would you like to talk about it, mr. sunday? i’m quite the exceptional listener you know.”

sunday laughed at your jesting and that made the breath you were unconsciously holding escape you. 

“penacony, as beautiful as it was,” he fiddles with his fingers as his wings came to cover half his face - a habit you picked up on whenever he started to open up. “it was simply too much for me.”

staying silent and when sunday looked at you, you simply nod. urging him to continue.

“the flashy city lights, the ever echoing of upbeat music, to many, penacony is a paradise where nothing could go wrong,” sunday sags in his seat, “but i often wonder if it ever gets too much for them. even though i have lived my entire life in the land of festivities, i could not bring myself to enjoy the thrill and joy it offered.”

“no matter how many times i bury these feelings of guilt, they always resurface whenever…”

“whenever?” you slowly try to coax it out of him. like how a parent would to their child.

“they always resurface whenever… i find myself enjoying your company too much.” you try to hide your shock when you take a right turn. “is it truly alright for me to just leave all of penacony behind? as overwhelming it was, it offered a roof over my head. food on my table. a family.”

soft patters of rain as small droplets of water cascaded down the now slightly fogged up windows of your car. “would you like my personal opinion on this matter, mr. sunday?” the car skids to a stop as the traffic light glows red. sunday only nodded solemnly. “you have every right to not miss penacony.”

his gold eyes were furrowed in distraught. gaze boring into the side of your head as the car started moving again. “yes, penacony offered a roof over your head and food on your table, but everyone has that right. even us, stellaron hunters, the most wanted criminals across star systems, have the right to have a home. did penacony ever feel like home to you, mr. sunday?”

“no. not it has not.” sunday replies after a few moments of silence.

“just because a roof is over your head and food is served on your table doesn’t automatically make it a home.” your eyes hardened, grip on the steering wheel tightening ever so slightly. “a home is supposed to make you feel safe, not obligated to repay their so-called “kindness”. you don’t have to feel guilty for not wanting to come back to the place that had caused you pain.”

“and what of my sister, robin?” he suddenly counters. you knew from little snippets from kafka that robin was a bit of a sensitive topic with him. “am i really allowed to enjoy this new life of mine knowing that she’s still in the family’s clutches?” his voice hardened, but at the same time it quivered and broke. “what right do i have to this newfound happiness when she could be struggling? for aeon’s sake,” he messily pushes his hair away from his face. you try not to focus on the stray tears that fell from his eyes, “i’m her older brother, her protector. she should be the one here, spending time with you and enjoying the life she’s always wanted.”

“miss robin is destined for greatness and a happy life,” stopping at another traffic light, you look over to sunday, “but so are you. i do not know the pain and turmoil your adoptive father has made you go through, but you will never be free if you keep holding on to the past.”

“i don’t think being a stellaron hunter and a wanted criminal is what you call greatness.” sunday jokes with a low chuckle making you roll your eyes.

you trained your sight on the road again. “it’s not easy to break out of whatever gopher wood has taught you,” the way you spat his adoptive father’s name with such venom made sunday wonder if you had personally met him. “but if, theoretically, we had offered you to join us earlier and to sneak you out of penacony, miss robin would be the first person to urge you to take that chance. you are her older brother yes, and it's often the oldest’s job to protect the younger,” you pull up your car in the parking lot as blade, kafka, and firefly started taking the shopping bags out of the car. “but she is still your sister that wants what’s best for you, even if it means leaving penacony behind.”

the sight of blade, a man with a harsh exterior and few words, silently carry silver wolf with such care will always stir something inside of sunday. or how kafka would happily chat with firefly over the new clothes they got on today’s shopping list, promising to do a haul tomorrow morning after the older woman cooks everyone breakfast. but if there was something that pulled at his heart the most, it would be you. 

you who kindly respected his space and unwillingness to talk or socialize with the other hunters when he had been first recruited. the same you who had made him the metal wings that was now attached to his lower back - created with so much care and attentiveness sunday felt unworthy of it. you who would always be the first one to look for him whenever you were going out and extending a hand for him to take.

“everyone deserves to be happy,” you say beside him as you drop him off at the door to his room. “and that includes you, mr. sunday.”

sunday had always been treated as someone who was above everything else, that was the first thing he was taught after all. he was destined for greatness, the key to the revival of his dead aeon. so he never truly knew how to act when someone treated him as an equal. someone neither above or below anyone.

“i’m not very good with words,” sunday scoffs, thinking otherwise. “so i often convey my sincerity and comfort through actions.”

sunday feels your hand slither to the back of his neck as you slowly pull him down to your height. forcing his beating heart to still when he looks into your eyes that swam with understanding and fondness when you press both of your foreheads together.

“you can enjoy your time here, with us. you’re allowed to let go of the past and miss your sister.” your thumb rubs soothing circles on his nape, sunday feels the hairs on his arms rise. “and if you still think otherwise, then that’s also fine. breaking free from the shackles of your past isn’t easy, but you shouldn’t give up.” sunday feels the way your words leave a warm ticklish feeling on his lips, he had to fight the urge to lean into your space even more. “we want you to be happy, we want you to be here with us. so we’ll teach you how to let go. until you can do it yourself.”

sunday has seen you do this to others; after you patch up blade after a nasty fight, when you welcome kafka home, when silver wolf comes to you after a nightmare and when firefly bares her heart out to you. he finally understands why the others stuck to you closely, they showed their appreciation for you in forms of physical affections. 

involuntarily, his arms snakes around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer he feels you may decipher the way his heart beats your name. “may we stay like this for a while?” you only hum slowly when he lays his head on your shoulder. letting your comfort wash away all the guilt and frustration, even if it was just for a moment.

you catch a glimpse of kafka leaning at one of the dark walls with a knowing smile on her lips. rolling your eyes at the older woman, you bid sunday a good night with a small smile. knuckles brushing right under his eyes where phantom tears had fallen. in your mind, you can’t help but feel that your little idea of taking him shopping to brighten up his mood was a success.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

[soapskneebrace]

This truly is the last thing I want to say on this blog and then I'm done, but given how the fucking catastrophe started it's only appropriate this is how I end it—

You have racist bias whether you like it or not. Particularly if you are US American, racism was baked into your worldview no matter what kind of household, liberal or conservative, you grew up in. Racism is quite often far more covert than it is overt. It is not just a voluntary behavior; it is more often the subconscious ways you organize and hierarchize other cultures and people.

In the case of Gaz—sure, you might actively believe that he deserves to be more included. You think he's a good character and people really should think about him more! But you personally headcanon him a certain way, and really it's not a headcanon you're actually all that into, so that's why you don't talk about him as much. It's not because he's black, it's because he doesn't fit the thing you like talking about the most. The fact that he's black is really just a coincidence, you're not excluding him because of that. In fact, you're sure other people like him for exactly the reason you're not all that into him, and you'll just leave it to them to pick up the slack. Or you'll get to him later! In fact, you have some ideas for him. You just haven't gotten around to them yet.

Take that and multiply it by thousands of white women in fandom—not just this fandom, not just Gaz's character, but every fandom and every character of color. It doesn't matter that there's no active malice behind not personally liking black characters and other characters of color. Non-white characters still take a backseat to their white counterparts, because white women in fandom cannot wrap their heads around black, brown, indigenous, and Asian characters as complex, complicated characters worthy of their interest or frankly, their desire.

They cannot wrap their heads around this because they were conditioned not to by decades of racist culture.

Case in point; plenty of white women in this fandom have fallen head over heels for Makarov and Graves. The sins of these out-and-out villains are totally forgiven by virtue of their sex appeal, and because they are portrayed by attractive, charismatic men who put a lot of passion behind their performances.

But can we say the same for Hadir? Can we say the same for Hassan?

The sins of these two Middle Eastern characters do not outweigh those of their villainous white counterparts, yet how many angsty fix-it fics have been written exploring Hadir's complicated relationship with violence and imperialism? How many enemies-to-lovers or even lovers-to-enemies fics have been written about Hassan, the face of whose homeland has been irrevocably marred by US interference?

No one who points out the racism of this trend is accusing these white women of active, militant white supremacy. I'm not saying any of you even have to like Gaz, Hadir, or Hassan. But your preferences have been tuned for you by a culture shaped by slavery, imperialism, and white supremacy. That is not something you can escape merely because you support the BLM movement or reblog vetted Palestinian gofundmes.

The only way you can truly fight your own racism is to be actively anti-racist. It is about far more than who you give money to or what graphics you pin on your instagram. It is an everyday practice of learning how racism has shaped your worldview for you.

This is not work that is done in a week, a month, or a year. Becoming anti-racist takes as much time as it took to make you racist in the first place. For some of you, the work may turn out to be easy. For others, it may be hard. You must do it either way.

Some good places to start:

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

Ain't I a Woman? by bell hooks

We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity by bell hooks

A Burst of Light by Audre Lorde

The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings

Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi

Being Palestinian edited by Yasir Suleiman

[ao3commentoftheday]

(Sorry if this has been asked before) I was curious if you knew the etiquette for posting a collection of oneshots in one fic? (Every chapter is a oneshot rather than all of them being posted seperately.) Is it better to mark it completed even if I'm still adding to it? Or is it better to mark it unfinished since I don't know if it will ever be finished?

You don't know it anon, but you've got two separate potential pitfalls here in the exact same question.

I'll start with the one you're aware of: do you mark a fic as complete when you might or might not continue it.

If you're actively planning to add more chapters, I'd recommend against marking the work complete. People who filter for complete works only will be annoyed with you. People who filter for works in progress won't find your stuff.

If you're unsure whether or not you're going to continue a fic, but you think that you probably won't, then you can mark it as complete, BUT because as I mentioned above, there are people who want to read complete works only, I recommend adding a word/phrase like ABANDONED or even ON HIATUS to the summary so that those folks know not to dive into your fic and get annoyed.

Now, as for the potential pitfall you don't know you might be running into: a lot of people have strong negative feelings about posting a series of one shots as if they're a single fic. Reasons for that differ, but a few of the highlights are:

I love oneshots and I filter for works with 1 chapter so that I can find them. If you put all of them into a multi-chaptered fic, I'll never find them.

I love multichaps and your work looks like a multichap, but when I start reading it, it's just a bunch of oneshots.

I filter for X word count because that's my preferred length of story. By posting those works together, the word counts are all combined, so I either can't find your short stories or think that they're long stories and either way, it's not what I want.

You have so many tags to cover the characters, ships, and scenarios of each story and I don't know which chapter is related to which tags.

You have so many tags and it takes forever for me to scroll past your work in my search results.

You wrote five stories, but I can only kudos once!

I want to reread [this particular story] but I don't know which chapter of your work it is and now it's impossible for me to find it again.

While there are people who either don't mind or prefer seeing a group of oneshots all gathered together in a single fic, it's more common (anecdotally, based on years of reading replies on this blog) to prefer for those oneshots to be gathered together in a series.

Readers can subscribe to a series, just like they can to a fic, but each oneshot will have its own particular set of tags and each oneshot can get its own kudos.

It's definitely more work for the author, and I know some creators feel weird about having that many works on their profile, but the internet is a vast expanse with no physical borders to it, so you can take up all the room you want.

I know this ask was supposed to be about whether to mark your work as complete or not, but I figured I should give you a heads up about that as well. I don't know that I'd use the term "etiquette" for either situation, though. It's not rude to do one thing or the other, it's just potentially annoying to some of your fellow fans. You're still the author, and you should do what makes you comfortable.

[drchucktingle]

On your blog you've talked about dealing with chronic as a result from the stress of masking your autism.

It's a bit of a different situation, but my little sister (who we've begun to suspect has adhd) has been experiencing chronic pain in her arms and legs. I may be totally off base, but I was wondering if a similar stess might potentially be a factor in her pain.

If you're willing, would you mind talking about how your pain affected before you found a way to manage it (I tried searching your tumblr, but not much came up, so sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been answered)?

Thanks either way, I love your books. Love is real!

sure buckaroo GOOD QUESTION. i have had chronic pain in some form or another for LONG TIME in a number of STRESS RELATED WAYS. in past it has been cracking teeth from clenching dang jaws while i sleep and things like that, but a few years ago it was FULL ON BODY PAIN AND TIGHTNESS like every muscle was clenching up. went to the doctor over and over all kinds of dang specialists and it was very difficult to figure out what was going on. eventually landed on a sort of nebulous trot of STRESS but i can get more specific.

there are several things about me that you would never know just from looking or even talking to me for long times. i am a bi buckaroo, i am a non-dysphoric trans buckaroo, i am an autistic buckaroo. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS IS EITHER HIDDEN AUTOMATICALLY OR I AM SUCH AN EXPERT AT HIDING THAT IT IS SECOND NATURE

autism presents its trot in many ways, so my words do not apply to all, but my version is EXTREME ORGANIZATION AND ENDLESS WORK ETHIC. in way of freud (which is a silly way but sometimes good for symbolism talk) i have what you would call an OVERDEVELOPED SUPER EGO which is a double edged sword. i can write 100s of books at an incredible pace, but also feel like my body is constantly collapsing in on itself

this is not really something i consciously think about much, but eventually these health problems started creeping up. it was all from carrying this mystery tension in my body, because while it feels EASY for me to mask i believe all that tension goes somewhere and it stores up and stores up and stores up.

so i think the HEALTHY way that i have found to deal with this (i think of it as releasing the steam valve a bit so the boiler does not break down) is ART. this space where i am allowed to be CHUCK TINGLE and write without obsessing over the spelling or punctuation, or to loudly express my queerness, or explore gender, and to let my neurotypical mask down DIRECTLY RELIEVES my chronic pain because it literally makes my muscles relax.

when i started out this ARTISTIC TROT as chuck i used a LOT of metaphor to keep my privacy, with different words or different versions of people for different things, and buckaroos found this very funny. as a way to express myself artistically i also liked this metaphor trot a lot, but i have also found that the LESS metaphor i paint over my life as chuck, the better it is for my health. if you have noticed, i talk less about some of the parts of my life that were metaphors, or maybe you have seen that my voice has relaxed a bit in interviews, or that i carry myself a little differently over time, this is partially why. (there is another artistic reason that was a planned trot from the beginning and it has to do with my feelings as a young autistic buckaroo of not fitting in on this timeline, but we can dive into that later).

anyway, as PRACTICAL ADVICE i would say that FINDING A SPACE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF WITHOUT FEAR OR MASKING has been the number one trot for me. that can be a pink bag over your head writing hundreds of erotic shorts, or that can be just laying on the ground howling your heart out, or doing whatever stim you need to do.

i will also say that ONCE I REALIZED IT WAS MUSCLE TENSION getting a physical therapist helped a lot. because there are two sides, you have to start releasing steam from the steam valve, but at the same time youve also gotta start HEALING THE DAMAGE. so i think stretching and techniques like that can be very helpful.

hope that helps buckaroo LOVE IS REAL

[devoutekuna]

The first meeting

Includes- Toji, Sukuna, Nanami, Gojo, Geto

Sukuna-

He wasn't the best when it came to showing affection or anything emotion really, unless it was something barbaric. So when his daughter came out he was already fighting the nurses to hold her. "Isn't she cute?" Holding your baby in your arms as you checked her out fully, noticing the pink hair standing out against her plush face. She looked just like her father, small dark marks on her face which resembled sukuna's, much to your dismay as you had carried her for 9 months just for her to come out a carbon copy of him. "I guess" he wasn't big on children, he normally ate them. Sat beside you as he watched how you awed over her. "Hold her" ushering for him to take her. "No" he didn't like babies, in fact, he didn't like much people other than you. "Come on Ryo" hands stuck out as you offered her up. Giving in as he knew how you would keep on asking, the small bundle taken into his arms.

Nanami-

Nanami was probably the first one to hold her when she came out, that's how he met her, normally at this time he would be arriving back from work with your favourite food just to give you a massage after missing him for so long. Though, right now he was sat in the hospital cradling his newborn daughter, adjusting her light pink hat so he could see her beautiful face, practically the same as yours. Smiling at the sight of his newborn sleeping, holding himself from grabbing her cheek. "Isn't she cute kento?" Peering down at how low his face was. Nodding in response, normally he'd always use his words unless he was getting emotional, which you had never seen before.

Geto-

"Isn't she a cute baby?" You were barely awake, eyes fighting to stay open just to watch your husband ramble on about his newborn. Today he wasn't reading the room right now, talking too much when he should have shut up hours ago, just nodding along to whatever the man said. "She looks a lot like you." Smiling at you only to face when he saw how tired you looked. "My bad, get some sleep, I'll take care of her!" Placing her back in the bassinet beside your bed as he kissed your cheek.

Gojo-

"Can he walk Y/N?" Not giving you time to answer as he stared to call for your newborn "come here Satoru JR" motioning for him to walk towards him, normally your husband was smarter than this but as soon as he got to take his newborn home he was in an erratic frenzy, completely loosing any sense of logic. "His name isn't Satoru JR!" You were too tired to even argue with the man. "Shh, it's his nickname" giving you a quick peck on the lips to shut you up. "What can he do then?" Sighing how stupid your husband sounded. "Nothing Satoru." "Really?" A bit shocked that his son couldn't do anything other than, eat, cry and sleep.

Toji-

"Can I hold her?" "Are you sure she's not too hot?" "What if she has a big appetite and needs more milk?" Normally he'd never care this much about someone, but he did for his newborn daughter, she was barely a day old and he was already fondling all over her. Fingers underneath her nose to check if she was breathing, two fingers under her chin or on her wrist to catch the faintest pulse. He was awake all night staring at her in case something bad happened. Arms wrapped around your body as he laid awake staring at the little girl, noticing any small movement. Eventually he'd fall asleep in the crook of your neck, breath slowing down as he fell asleep, arms tightened around your body when he slept, it always annoyed you as there was no way to escape his grasp unless he woke up.

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream when they found you after losing you in a crowd.

Mark Lee

Once Mark finds you on a corner after searching for almost ten minutes in a music festival. He swears to God that his heart stopped. He would probably ask you where have you been and how you ended up there, the signal was bad and in the middle of fun, Mark just realized that you're not by his side. He would probably ask you if you want to go back to the crowd or not, and if you do, he'll be the type to be not letting go of you anymore. Would backhug you or place his arms around your shoulder so that you won't be separated. 

Huang Renjun

Renjun would let his anger senses heightened up because you got lost again. It was a busy market and you were always the type to stray away, so when you did it in a foreign market, Renjun just couldn't help but to be a bit mad at you, he'll probably nag you because he found you almost far inside the market. But !! He gives in because you'll give him your puppy eyes, telling him that you found these cute accessories and it reminds you of him. He'll give in for you but won't let go of you after that incident!

Lee Jeno

"There you are," I feel like Jeno will be super rational if ever you get lost in a crowd. He'll try to contact you immediately, and if he couldn't reach you. Then he'll just turn the place upside down lol. Once he finds you standing like a sad puppy on a side, he'll be relief, probably will ask you if you're okay and how did it happened that you got lost. You just excused yourself that you need to go the restroom but forgot your way. He was glad nothing happened to you but wouldn't let you out of his sight ever again. 

Lee Donghyuck

Oh just like Renjun, Haechan will be angry if you got lost. He already told you that it'll be busy streets with lots and lots of people!! He told you to hold his hands but when he turned around and saw that you're not there anymore, he'll be so worried sick! Haechan found you not far away, almost on the verge of crying making him worry more !! Would stop nagging because he doesn't want to make you feel bad and will probably bribe you food so that you can be okay again lol. 

Na Jaemin

You and Jaemin are struggling to find your way out of a crowded venue, that your hand slipped out of his. Jaemin would sense it immediately but when he turned around, you're just not there anymore! He'll be so worried, trying to find the path you two walked through but the crowd just hinders him more. He found you a few minutes later and asks you if you're okay because the crowd was pretty rough too. Would probably cling to you more, like wrap his arms around your waist type of skinship so that you wouldn't be lost again. 

Zhong Chenle

Probably lost you at a busy and crowded mall that's too complicated for your brain. Would be the type to call you and if you didn't answer him, he'll try to search for the place you two went. His worries will be all gone when you sent him a message, telling him about your whereabouts. Once you two met, he'll casually tell you to tell him where are you going next time but will never let you leave his sight. You want to go this shop ? Okay, let's go there. You needed to go the restroom? Yeah, he's waiting outside so that you won't get lost again. 

Park Jisung

This poor baby will panic once you two got separated at a concert ground where the signal is so shitty !! Probably will try to cling on his one-bar signal, hoping that it can send you a message. Also the type of losing you in the crowd because he goes everywhere to look for you, and seeing that he's not there, you'll go to search for him because you're worried about your boyfriend getting lost too. Will probably find you first and you two will laugh at how you two are trying to look for each other. Won't let go of your hand anymore and would accompany you wherever you go!

[miley1442111]

shocker- a.hotchner

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summary: you have some news for your husband.

pairing: aaron hotchner x wife! reader

warnings: fluff, pregnancy, mild angst, happy ending :)

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Aaron had a day off. A day off from work, from paperwork, from travel. And he had you all to himself. 

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He woke up much earlier than you ever would, but instead of getting in his morning thirty-minute run, he stayed in bed with you, allowing himself a few extra minutes of sleep. God, you were gorgeous like this. Unconscious and unbothered, a soft smile on your face as you lay beside him in your shared bed. Most of the time he couldn’t even believe he knew someone like you, let alone married you. 

“You’re getting handsy Mr. Hotchner,” you chuckled, swatting his hand that had in fact, landed on your ass. 

He chuckled back. “I can’t appreciate my wife?”

You finally opened your eyes, only to roll them at him. He laughed and pressed a kiss against your cheek as you yawned, too tired from the long week to get up yet. 

“We should do something today,” he pressed soft kisses to your collarbone as you nodded to what he was saying. “Movie?”

“Nothing new is out,” you reminded him. 

“Park?”

“Jess isn’t a fan of the park anymore,” you yawned. 

“Shopping?”

You stared at him in bewilderment for a moment. “Are you insane?”

“Yeah, I guess that one was a long shot.”

“We could stay in bed all day,” you offered.

“As much as I would love that,” a harsh smack landed on your ass and you yelped. “We do have two children to look after.”

“Send them to Jessica’s,” you groaned. “We haven’t had any time together in months, Aaron. I adore our kids, but I also adore my husband, and I want to see him.”

Aaron’s heart swelled, and he needed no more convincing. “I’ll call her now.”

You smiled at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

---------------------

God, this day was more than needed. 

Sending Jack and Jessie off to their cousin's house meant you and Aaron had a whole morning to watch an entire film, without someone interrupting, then you got up and went to the farmer’s market together, and had a great time. 

“I love you,” you smiled, leaning over the centre console of the car as Aaron reversed out of your parking spot. He chuckled, then took your hand. 

“I love you too.”

“Aaron,” you smiled. 

“Y/n,” he responded, smiling cheekily. 

“Are you happy?” 

“More than anything,” he smiled. “I love our life, so much.”

“Do you want more kids?” you asked nervously. Truthfully, this is what today had been about. Four weeks ago, you found out you were pregnant. It was an accident, yes, but hopefully not a mistake. How ould he take it? Jess was planned completely and Jack had been planned too (granted, not with you but, you knew the Aaron Hotchener way). This was totally unplanned. You two were both busy people with busy jobs you loved a lot.

“Maybe in a few years-”

“I’m pregnant.” 

His mouth opened in shock, then close to a straight line. 

“You’re not happy,” you responded for him.

“I’m very happy,” he nodded. “Just… shocked and a little bit confused as to why you told me while I’m driving.”

You chuckled, but the rest of the car ride was silent and your anxiety grew. What if he wasn’t happy? What would happen? Had you ruined the day?

---------------------

You rushed inside the house and away from him, locking yourself in your bedroom under the guise of a nap. You had gotten a full 12 hours of sleep, and now, there you were with a head full of anxious thoughts and awful ideas. 

“Can I come in?” he knocked on the door, and you just mumbled a response. You heard him sigh and unlock the door from the outside, and everything came crashing down. Your eyes watered, and immediately wrapped you up in his arms with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” you whispered, tears falling down your face. “It’s ok Aaron.”

“I’m happy about this,” he nodded, reassuring you. His hands cupped your cheeks, turning your attention towards him. “I’m just… surprised. Jess is only 2, and Jack is getting older everyday. I was just scared about the thought of having a newborn. I’m not unhappy, I’m just scared.”

“I’m really scared about this,” you admitted. “Our last pregnancy was less than… easy.”

“This time, I’ll be here the whole time,” he promised. 

“Aaron, you’ll be at work and so will I-”

“I’m leaving the BAU. I want to be here more,” he pulled you closer. “I want to be here for you and the kids.”

You stared up at him in shock. “Really?”

“Yes,” he smiled. 

"So you'll stay home with the kids?" You asked.

"I want nothing more," he smiled.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

---------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games :)

[nothorses]

You've made a lot of really great posts about transmasc experiences and struggles, and they really resonate with me! So I guess I want to in complete earnest ask: why the push for 'transandrophobia' when anti-transmasculinity as a term has been around for longer and faces little friction by comparison? I don't really *dislike* transandrophobia, but its meaning gets muddied everywhere from different directions, while ATM is pretty direct and succinct I feel. It's very clear that it's about TRANSmasculine oppression. I'm not against having a dedicated term at all, but the content of our struggles gets lost in the weeds of attaching kind of understandably divisive terms like misandry and androphobia in an attempt to mirror a phenomenon very specifically about misogyny; it seems more trouble than it's worth considering ATM is right there

I'll be honest, this ask is confusing to me for a few reasons.

When I started talking about transandrophobia around the summer of 2020, the conversations I was encountering were very much, like, a handful of people across Twitter and Tumblr (literally, a handfull!). I picked up "transandrophobia" because it was one of two words I saw in use, and the other- "transmisandry"- felt much less clear and much more contentious. It seemed super obvious to me that people would draw a line from "men's rights activists" trying to push this idea that "misandry", as a systemic oppression of men by women, to "transmisandry", and assume some ill intent where there was none. It's confusing!

"Transandrophobia" was the better of two options being floated at the time, at least in any conversation I saw. "Anti-transmasculinity" was not really a term I'd been made aware of, if anyone at all was talking about it at the time.

I have seen people pick up "anti-transmasculinity" more recently (maybe in the last year?), and this is definitely the first I've seen someone shorten it to "ATM". The people I've seen use that term have been mostly people who seem really new to the conversation, and the vibe I've gotten has been very, like, "we're the Good Transmascs, our word isn't dirty and gross like those other Bad Transmascs everyone hates. you'll listen to us now that our word is Good and Pure, right?"

Which is like... kind of frustrating, and kind of sad, honestly. I think these people honestly believe that if they just choose the right word, all the people who've been dragging me and every other transmasc talking about these issues through the mud for the last 4 years or so will really just stop & listen. If they can just say it right, these people- who have been relentlessly harassing and spreading lies about every single transmasc who came before them for years now- will care what they have to say, and will be willing to engage with them in earnest, compassionate dialogue.

If you just find the right word, all of these people will care about your hurt, your pain, and the suffering of your community.

It kind of breaks my heart. It's an incredibly hopeful, kind, loving way to view the world. It's compassion and patience and forgiveness that these folks are not being given, but that they so badly want to offer to others.

And at the same time, it sucks to be the Bad Transmasc. It sucks to have fought so hard for so long, and for the people I've been fighting for all this time to turn around and say, "you're gross, and dirty, and evil, and everything you've done is a mistake." It sucks to see the people I've been fighting for agree with the people I've been fighting against, and shove me under the bus in an effort to appeal to the people running me over with it. Knowing that the bus is going to aim for them once it's done with me just makes it sadder, yknow?

@saint-speaks wasn't the first person to ever speak the word "transandrophobia", but he is the one who coined and popularized it in its current form. And then he was dragged through the mud so hard and so brutally that some people think I coined it, just because when I defended him (too little and too late, imo) I withstood the mud-dragging better than he did (and gee, I wonder white.)

And now people take for granted that everything everyone said about hymn to justify that frankly fucking evil harassment campaign was true, actually, and we should abandon the word he coined and find one with purer origins.

If you honestly think "anti-transmasculinity" is just a more practical word, that's fine. I don't care what word we use. But they're going to cover it in mud, too. They're going to cover every one of you in mud.

Will you keep fighting for "ATM" once they make it the new dirty, gross, bad, evil word? Will you keep fighting when they drag you and everyone else through the mud for using it? Or will you agree with them, make up a new word, and never look back?

Please don't let us drown in the mud. We've been fighting for you, and we want to fight with you. Please.

[itsyaniwym]

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ (𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲) 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐲/𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

𓆩♡𓆪 Unrequited synastry can be seen with vertex making hard aspects to the moon. Since vertex is an angular placement, it will be felt by the vertex person. The vertex person is affected by the planet person more bc they are the source of energy that the vertex is being activated with. With a moon square vertex for example, the moon person will provoke deep emotions out of the vertex person simply because they activate this energy from them. They feel more because that energy is invoked out of them, causing intense emotions.

It reminds me of this for some reason:🧍🏾‍♀️-> > >🧍🏾‍♀️ Basically the person on the left (moon person) naturally projecting their energy onto the person on the right (vertex person) and the vx taking it all in and becoming heavily affected. You can tell a bit how that vertex angle can be a bit one sided ***I really hope you understand this interpretation lol this is just how my brain computes things for me to understand it. I hope it helps

𓆩♡𓆪 Another unrequited aspect could be Neptune Square/Opposition to mercury. This can show lies and deception being told by the Neptune person. Communication exchanged between the two can be very hazy and difficult to understand, as if you never know where you stand with this person and words are easily misinterpreted and taken the wrong way. There's feeling as if you can't completely let your guard down or trust this person, for fear that they may be lying to you.

** experiencing synastry with mercury in the 12th can feel the same way.

S/N, please let me know if you guys want a whole post on my observations/opinions of unrequited synastry in a chart. I have a lot of ideas on this so tell me if that is something you would be interested in ;)

𓆩♡𓆪 Keep in mind when looking at synastry aspects, that the aspects with 6 degrees or tighter are really the ones you need to really be paying attention to. When aspects get too wide in a synastry chart the overall energy of it is dimmed and doesn't affect the connection as much as closer orbs.

𓆩♡𓆪 Having Chiron in the 3rd house is constantly being self-conscious about how you communicate with others and always looking back on the embarrassing/awkward encounters with others and inwardly cringing

𓆩♡𓆪 Every Capricorn rising and Sag rising are naturally popular and will always have a group of friends. A Sag rising will naturally attract people to them with the bright aura they exude. People will want to be around Capricorn risings to feel like they are "in", these people have the influence of power and overall give a status image that people like to attach to so they can feel that way as well.

𓆩♡𓆪 I feel Capricorn risings are one of the few in the ascendant signs that can come close to rivaling the intensity a Scorpio rising has. Imagine these two in a room seeing who can gain the most control over the other first lol. I can only imagine if in romantic attraction this connection is INSATIABLE because neither of them would want to give in to each other first. I feel they both put each other on edge.

𓆩♡𓆪 I know we talk about the 1st house/ascendant for our looks but can we talk about the 10th house also playing a big role in our outward appearance as well. 10th house talks about our representation to the world that we have the best ability to control, whereas 1st house is unconsciously there on display.

𓆩♡𓆪 (ANY) Virgo placements will go through the most traumatizing experience ever and you would never know because they will appear so put together. Or they will act so unfazed as if they didn’t just tell you the most life altering moment they just went/lived through.

**if you are a virgo rising my heart really goes out to you. I can't imagine living my life in a state of complete psychoanalysis of everything. Almost as if your mind can take over you a lot because of the constant examination of every single thing going on in your life, I know that can be quite exhausting. Y'all are so strong🫶🏾

𓆩♡𓆪 Are you a master manipulator or do you just have mercury in 7th or mercury in Gemini/Libra?

𓆩♡𓆪 I don't understand why people don't give credit to how BINDING moon in the 10th house synastry can be!!! Romantically, this synastry gets the rep of being cold and detached, which is true in a sense. In the beginning, expressing emotions to each other can feel uncomfortable and awkward, causing for a slow burn relationship to form. (often times it fizzles out) Once these people get over that hump and are able to trust one other to fully open up it is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. This is the house of Saturn so when feelings get involved here they rarely go away since they take so long to form. Saturn is not into the act of letting go of things at all and is often life long. If a breakup has occurred with this synastry those feelings will simmer within you forever, and its damn near impossible to forget about them. This will probably be one of those contacts that will hurt the most and you will feel for a long time.

𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in the 7th and Pisces Venus have a tendency to choose people that they know are not good for them. For both placements, the danger of what a person could do to them is like a drug. It is not uncommon for these people to find themselves in relationship scandals and affairs. Whether they are the ones doing the cheating or the other way around, they will most likely experience both situations.

- Lilith in the 7th choose the wrong people because they are attracted to passionate toxicity.

-Pisces Venus often choose the wrong people because of an idealized version they have created or because they think they are able to fix a person. 

**if you have both of these placements, may god be with you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

𓆩♡𓆪 Venus in the 3rd house synastry is most likely someone you met online, in school, close to your home or places you frequent. It will be so easy for these people to find anything in the world to talk about. They have similar interests and love the same things, although they could talk for days and not get to anything beneath the surface. They like to keep things lighthearted so if there are any issues they are experiencing with one another they tend to avoid it to not ruffle the feathers of one another and keep things peaceful, passive aggression can be a thing here. Romantically, this will be a person you will not be able to get off your mind, you will constantly be thinking of each another throughout your day. You might not even know how much this person actually thinks of you because things can come off so surface level, feelings may not be discussed.

𓆩♡𓆪 Sun/Venus is the 2nd house synastry can either boost your confidence or completely destroy it. Can also be an indicator of gold digger/sugar baby placement. The 2nd house person will be completely enamored by the sun/venus person. It will be easy for the sun/venus person to trust the 2nd house person. The 2nd house person can tend to view the sun/venus person as a object. Often wanting to spend money on them to make them happy. More so with the Venus here, the 2nd house person loves to spend money on them to make them look physically appealing. This will be the person buying you clothes, shoes, hairstyles and they even LOVE buying you food. Dinner dates are a MUST.

𓆩♡𓆪 Mars in the 2nd house synastry is ultimate marriage material. If you have this with someone its soo good for long-term partnerships. These too will not be able to keep their hands off each other, they are so sexually appealing to one another it will be so hard. The mars person will love to be the provider for the second house person. They will be the one to go out and work multiple jobs if they have to just to get the second house person everything they want, and they will love to do it. This couple will be SUPER sensual together. ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ♡ Thank you babes for reaching this point, love youssss♥️ If you enjoyed I would love any feedback any you have experienced any of these placements ;) I hope you like the longer, more in-depth posts. What would you guys like to see next?

[felassan]

From Game Informer:

Solas plays an important role in the game as a central figure and significant character, but the game is not about Solas, hence the title change

Rather than focusing on a specific individual, the focus and centerpiece of the game is Rook's team, stopping the end of the world with this group of specialists

"I think you could argue [these companions] are the best the franchise has ever seen". We will have the opportunity to interact with them in a way that both shapes their story and also influences the main story, including having the opportunity to impact their fate

"Arguably, this game has kind of, in a way, been called Dreadwolf to some degree since its earlier days"

Excerpt:

"When I ask about Solas' role in the story after I learn his namesake is no longer in the game title, Darrah says Veilguard is still taking the Elven God's narrative in a good direction. He adds, "It allows us to, hopefully, give a good conclusion to all the varied attitudes toward Solas that are going to be coming from people who love Solas, who agree with Solas, who hate Solas, people who want to kick Solas off of a building – I think that we give you the opportunity to bring that to a close, but then tell a greater story about The Veilguard and about the world as a whole." Talking to Epler, I learn more about how Solas isn't exactly the big bad I expected before seeing the opening hours of Veilguard. There's a lot more nuance to everyone's favorite bald elf.  "The most interesting villains to myself, and honestly most people, are not just straight up, 'I want to end the world.' To them, they are the heroes of the story, and Solas is no exception," Epler tells me. "Solas always feels that he is a tragic hero but a hero nonetheless, so he's coming into this believing firmly that what he did, that which you stopped him from doing, was the right thing – that you made a mistake. But now he's trapped and can't reach out and actively affect [Thedas], so he needs to work with you. "That allows us to provide a lot of nuance to that relationship," Epler says."

Solas is literally trapped in the Fade after the game's prologue. Rook and co stop his attempt to destroy the Veil. Rook passes out and wakes up in a dream-like landscape to Solas' voice. He explains that he was trying to move Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain to a new prison because the old one wasn't containing them properly anymore. The two blighted gods are now free and roaming Thedas. Rook has to stop them, but it seems that they will have to work with Solas ("or at least listen to his guidance and advice") to do so

Excerpt:

""So one of the principles we took to when we were building the story of The Veilguard early on was we wanted the beginning of the game to feel like the final chapter of an earlier story and you're coming in right at the end, you're coming in as if you've been chasing Solas – the [Solas at the end of Dragon Age: Inquisition's Trespasser DLC] who said he was going to end the world and tear down the Veil," Epler adds.  Epler says players will see early on (and as the narrative develops across Veilguard) that Solas sees much of himself in you, the player-controlled Rook, especially "the parts that maybe he doesn't like to face." As a result, there's an interesting push and pull between Solas and Rook. He says players can define the relationship between these two characters with their choices in dialogue.  "You can continue to be suspicious and hostile towards him, or you can start to see him and find that common ground, that connection between the two of you, and really develop a different relationship over the course of the story," Epler says."

[source]

[joonsytip]

Only for Love || Mingyu - Part 3

Pairings: Mingyu x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Husband!Mingyu, Cold Wife!Reader, Arranged Marriage au, Contract Marriage au, Divorce au

Synopsis: When an accidental discovery has your perception of happy married life crumbling down, you do what you think is the best for everyone involved. Naturally, your opinion of the best doesn't cater to your husband's. So what happens when things spiral out due to unforeseen events?

Warnings: character death, mentions of pregnancy, Mingyu acts dumb, reader goes through a whole lot of emotional turmoil, mentions of divorce, tears, profanities, major angst.

Word Count: 5.7k

@wongyuuu thanks a lot for brainstorming out this with me & happy birthday, love! 💕🎂

[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Mingyu returns to an empty house. He waits for you for an hour, two hours and when the clock strikes midnight his mind clouds with concern. He fishes out his phone and ignoring the series of notifications that keeps on popping up, he calls you.

But with all his calls remaining unanswered, Mingyu surges in panic and calls Soonyoung who's extremely pissed and shows his discontentment through a dry, edgy reply.

"She left with Minghao."

That's the only line Mingyu hears before getting hung up. And Soonyoong does not pick up his call again.

And now he sits rooted to the couch, tapping feet in anxiety and worry with no idea about your whereabouts and who the hell is Minghao?

His thoughts bounce off the walls and he decides to take his car and drives off to find you aimlessly. He goes to your office only to be greeted by the security. He goes to the café you are regular at, knowing very well that it would be closed but he makes a round just for his sanity. He knocks on your apartment door but it's empty just like the house was.

Dejected he fishes out his phone to call your uncle when the notification of your name flashes on the screen.

'Meet me at home within fifteen minutes.'

There's no way he's gonna get home within the said timeframe but just as he rushes towards his car, his phone vibrates again.

'Half an hour. Don't run the red lights, don't run over people.'

Mingyu listens to your advice and thankfully he reaches you in one piece.

But he stands frozen as he sees you in the hallway carrying a duffle bag.

"Where were you?", no greetings, you ask checking your watch.

Mingyu knows you know and you know that he knows that you know.

"I had to leave with Sora."

"And who's she?"

Mingyu bites his tongue before answering, "My ex."

"What made you go somewhere with your ex rather than watch your wife getting felicitated?", your voice is calmer than usual and it scares your husband to the bones.

He stays silent. And you wait for him like you have all the time in the world.

"I can't tell you right now, Y/N. I'm sorry.", he answers quietly, lowering his gaze.

"Okay.", you say and Mingyu looks at you flabbergasted. Before he could speak, you add,"I'm going to stay at my uncle's."

Mingyu feels electrified, the sensation which burns his whole body, itches on his skin and scratches at the throat.

"I'm sorry, I know it is an unacceptable behaviour of me but please trust me. I haven't done anything to be ashamed of.", Mingyu grabs your hands and blabbers, "You can stay with your uncle but please tell me when you are going to return, that you're going to return."

You pull back your hands from his grip, "I don't think I'll be returning anytime soon.", you say sternly, "I had something to share with you but this isn't the right time."

"Y/N--"

"Before I leave, tell me one thing. Are you going to keep seeing her?"

Mingyu flares at this, "I'm not seeing her for fucks sake! I would never do something bad, I'm your husband."

You stare at him for a solid minute, "You didn't answer my question. Anyways, I'm disappointed. Keep yourself in my shoes and give it a thought."

"Let me drive you, it's late.", he offers.

"You don't have to worry about me, Minghao is already waiting with his car."

Mingyu twitches on hearing the name for the second time, "And who's that?"

"I can't tell you right now, Mingyu. I'm sorry.", you mimic his words from before and just as you are about to cross the threshold, you whisper shaking your head, "You can't even put yourself in my shoes..."

Mingyu watches you leave with a grim heart.

It's been a two weeks since you've been living with your uncle. And though you've left home in despair, Mingyu has somehow made it a mission to win back your trust.

But who's gonna tell him that you never doubted him, you were just mad, just like a teenage girl who can't keep her act straight in front of her love.

He calls you every night. For the first week you didn't pick up his calls but when your anger started to subside you entertained his calls but never spoke much, just listened to him telling how his day went. He asks every time if could visit you, getting a straight no as reply. He might be obedient but he's sneaky as hell because most of the times when you're getting off work you somehow see him engrossed with some conversation with Soonyoung at the parking.

What is he doing at your workplace almost everyday, when he could crash at Soonyoung's place. Why does Soonyoung have to call out your name every time when you're walking past them, roping you into some small talks.

Soonyoung is the imposter.

And why does everytime aa you are about to take leave after the conversation, Mingyu asks you the same question, "When are you returning?"

You never answer.

"You've gotta be kidding me!", Seokmin yelps. They all have gathered at Mingyu's place because everyone is stressed and wants to know what is actually happening.

"There are all sorts of rumours at the workplace. And I wanna punch everyone in the face.", Soonyoung says dejected, "Minghao and Y/N went to the same university so some are saying that they have dated during that time." he takes a chug from the can and continues, "And since Mingyu didn't show up at the event last time, it has sparked the speculations."

Mingyu sits head lowered, rubbing his hands all over the face.

"I'm sure Minghao likes her. I can tell by the way he looks at her.", Soonyoung puts it down.

"What about Y/N?", Mingyu asks his heart beating in his chest rapidly.

"What do you think dumbass?", Junhui glares at him.

"Woah, I'm offended now that you asked that question.", Hansol speaks in distaste.

"It's been a month without her.", Mingyu sighs, his lips curl down, eyes filled with concern, "I think everything was going back to normal, assuming by the way she responded, I felt like she'd be coming back anytime but she has gone radio silent suddenly. For the past two weeks she isn't responding to my calls or texts, she is even working from home."

"Yeah maybe Minhee can tell something", Junhui suggests, "But I doubt she'd spill anything if Y/N has told her not to."

The evening bleeds into night and the guys keep on chatting when suddenly Jeonghan who hasn't been much involved decides to speak.

"Now that Sora is back? What are you gonna do?"

The laughters die down and room falls silent with all the eyes on Mingyu.

"What's going on guys? Is there something we don't know?", Seokmin asks in fear.

Jeonghan leans back on the couch and looks at Mingyu, saying, "I think it's time, they should know. I'll go first, that day Mingyu left with Sora to meet me. Apparently, the guy Sora had left Gyu for turns out to be a douch. Won't go to the details but he kept blackmailing her, so desperate to save herself and afraid that I won't be meeting her if she went alone, she took him with her. I'm skipping the legal parts and that guy has been sort of taken care off. But that's not where it ends.", he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "The problem is that Sora wants him back now."

Gasps erupt through the room.

"Why did I see it coming though?", Seokmin says, "You have said no straight to her face right, Min?", he asks Mingyu.

The silence that follows horrifies every other one present in the room.

"Don't tell me...", Hansol trails off, eyeing his friend in utter disbelief.

"It's not what you're thinking.", Mingyu frowns, "I haven't said anything to Sora. But I have loved her for so long it's rolling back like a habit.", he hesitantly looks up and sees a bunch of disappointed faces, "But if it had been the previous me, I'd have gone to her in a snap but I'm changed now."

Mingyu gives a wry smile when looking at the relief washing over his friends.

"Here's the real deal begins. We have been married for over two years, in a few months we'd be hitting the three year mark. It's a long time right?", he sweeps his gaze across the large wedding frame of you both on the wall, "Instead of being a couple, I feel like living with a roommate. No feelings involved. She's stoic, nonchalant and even inconsiderate sometimes, even if I think that there's something between us, her actions act as bucket of cold water on those thoughts. I understand that not everyone is the same and I agree that Y/N has changed but somehow we're still at the starting point and it's starting to tire me out. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to this marriage--"

There's a sudden thud and all the necks turn in unison only to find you standing by the hallway and your bag on the ground.

Heartbreak is one thing but the humiliation is another form of descend you're currently facing. You return your home only to find your husband shit talking about how unhappy he is in this marriage to his friends.

And the biggest loss turns out to be how you're the only one who thought that it's a happy, perfect marriage. Your husband isn't wrong when he said that you're inconsiderate.

Tears prick at your eyes but aren't you stoic, nonchalant so why should the people infront of you get the leverage to see you vulnerable? They shouldn't, so you pick up your bag and walk past them going straight into the guest room.

There are continuous knocks on the door. Your phone keeps ringing but you pay mind to none. Your mind only reels the words of your husband from before.

The previous you would have stomped out of the house but now, you can't. The situation has changed, the circumstances are different and you are totally lost.

Because there's a life is growing inside you. The reason you decided to return home tonight but your second attempt at letting Mingyu know that he's gonna be a father cracks again. The first attempt was the night where Mingyu chose Sora over you. He doesn't want you, would he want to raise a child with you?

Maybe you shouldn't have gotten married, maybe you shouldn't have fallen in love with your husband and maybe she's better, the previous you who knew you're undesirable, who knew that people like you are unlovable, who very well knew how to maintain a boundary.

You have lost the track of time but you sure can hear voices from the other side of the door. You think attachment is something you can't effort, you are not people's people.

So that's how what Mingyu had said, you turned into his roommate. Since that day, you have settled in the guest room. You don't get out of your room unless it's an emergency. You leave for work early and return home at late hours.

You haven't spoken to Mingyu since that day. You've rejected all his advances of striking a conversation. But you're thankful to him for making you food everyday because you can't eat anything else, it makes you nauseous.

"Hey, are you okay?", Minghao asks worried as he takes a sit beside you at the cafeteria of the office, "You have been throwing a lot."

You nod your head, avoiding his gaze, "I'm fine."

Minghao doesn't buy your words but you both settle in the comfortable silence and until he gasps.

You cock brows looking at him.

"Are you pregnant?", he gasps, "Oh my god."

You freeze and slap your hand over his mouth and proceed to tell him everything that has been happening.

"So Mingyu doesn't know yet. And he's being a jerk ever since his ex-girlfriend returned.", Minghao says in anger. He sweeps a gaze across your face and his eyes soften, "You love him, don't you?"

You avoid his gaze again, you don't answer him.

A sad smile graces on his lips as he reminiscences the past. How he had practically clinched himself in your life. How he had fallen in love with you but knew that you wouldn't reciprocate, the reason why he disappeared abruptly from your life years ago. The apologies are always on the tip of his tongue for leaving you alone, for creating the safe place but also leaving it void.

"You know you shouldn't be taking stress. I know it's not easy but I'd suggest for you both to sort things out, atleast for the baby.", he says patting your back in a comforting manner, "If Mingyu does anything to hurt you again, tell me I'll beat him for you."

"Thanks Hao.", you say smiling.

"Also let me know if Soonyoung bothers you. I'll handle him as well."

You shake your head laughing, "He insufferable Hao, you'll give up."

"We'll see that.", he smiles softly, "But do plan on telling him. Uncle also needs to know, he'd be so happy."

"I want the baby's father to know first. Then I'll tell everyone.", you assure him.

Mingyu knows he went overboard. He knows he was being an absolute asshole when he uttered those baseless words in your favour.

Maybe he should never have compared the type of relationship he had with Sora with the one he's having with you. It's a grave mistake and the lack of your presence is taking a toll on him. But he understands if you need space or even don't want to see his face. He's willing to give you all that but he plans to apologise to you and if you don't forgive him, he'd understand.

Work is hectic but the situation at home is feverish. He has been getting earfuls from all of his friends and family, specially Minhee. She has been giving him shit routinely.

His reverie breaks when he receives a text from you. Hurriedly opening the text, his eyes widen with a mixture of horror and anticipation.

'Come home as soon as possible. I have something to tell you.'

His mind could only hint at it being something ominous.

You pace around the entire house nervously.

"Mingyu, I'm pregnant. You're gonna be father."

You shake head at the selection of words.

"Congratulations! You're going to be a dad!"

Sounds too exciting for an unplanned pregnancy.

"You're pull out game was weak. Guess what I'm pregnant."

Too snappy, rejected.

"Kim Mingyu, you're pregnant, I will be-- wait what no-- I'm pregnant, we're expecting."

You sit down pulling your hair in frustration.

After another hundred million failed rehearsals you sort to say whatever your heart would feel like at the moment in his presence.

But where's Mingyu? You check the clock, it's past his work hours. Maybe he's running late for some reason. It's your third attempt to tell him about your pregnancy and you hope that you'd succeed this time.

Your phone rings and you would never have guessed that your world would come crashing down.

You stand with head your head bowed down the entire time at the funeral hall. The band wrapped around your arm acts as a constant reminder that you're the chief mourner. You don't raise your head, not ready the see the picture that's kept on the board.

The heart attack was so brutal that it claimed the life of your uncle without a chance of revival. When you were informed he was already gone.

No last words, no goodbyes. Now you're left with only his photo and memories. You walk into the room where his body is kept as you've made a special request to let you meet him before he's taken into the coffin.

He's almost unrecognisable as you sit beside the body. Gently caressing his head, you finally let the tears fall.

"You were so eager to meet everyone that you left me alone here.", you sob, "What do I do without you now?"

You caress his cheeks gently, "Whatever I have become it's because of you. Even though I was the reason they died, you took me in and raised me like our own."

"I have something to tell.", your hands place themselves back on his head, "I'm pregnant. You're gonna be a grandparent. Tell mom, dad and aunt that I have grown up. Tell Sejin that he's gonna be an uncle."

You spend some more last moments with your uncle before there's a knock on the door. You quickly wipe the tears and look up to see Mingyu standing at the threshold.

"It's time.", he says solemnly.

You nod and look back at your uncle saying, "Thank you for everything. Have a nice reunion with everyone up there. Forgive me if I have been a bad daughter. Goodbye comrade."

You don't like the pitiful look everyone throws at you. You hate it, it claws on your skin and you feel like throwing up. Running into the washroom, you sit down opening the lid to empty your stomach when you feel your hairs being pulled back in gentle grip.

It's Mingyu, you know even though even without seeing him. He doesn't care about entering a ladies washroom when he has to look for you.

"Here, drink some water.", he uncaps the bottle and offers it to you.

He's presence is somewhat comforting, he makes things bearable. Your uncle is laid beside the rest of your family and you request everyone to be left alone. It's night time when you leave the place only to see Mingyu waiting for you.

There's silence throughout the ride back to home, no words spoken when he makes you eat something he cooked when you were showering, unspoken words when you go back your room and he goes back to his.

You mourn for days and while you do so you take notice of a lot of things.

"Y/N, I'm sorry for that day. I didn't mean anything I said, I was just being an idiot.", Mingyu  says after barging into your room one night because he had enough. He decides he won't let you suffer alone anymore.

You nod your head, "It's okay.", your short and curt reply doesn't settle well with your husband.

"I know one apology isn't enough and I understand if you won't forgive me but please let me be there for you.", he pleads closing the gap and taking your hands within his. His eyes searches for your face and his brows crease when he finds you avoiding eye contact.

You pull back your hands out of his grip, "I can take care of myself, Mingyu."

Your call of name rings oddly in his ear. It's rare for you to call him by name, it's always husband when throwing banter or Gyu while being affectionate.

Affectionate? His mind reels in the moment. Aren't you unexpressive then how could his mind produce that word in your wake?

"I'm tired. Let's call it a night.", you say poised, "There's no need for an apology. Everyone has the right to voice out about anything they don't like."

Mingyu feel like he's not your husband rather an office colleague. Your tone is so formal and dry. Your words cut him like a dagger. He wonders if he has caused damaged beyond repair.

It's so fucked up that he wants to hold you sleep, say sweet nothings to calm your senses but he's afraid to ask you to come back to the master bedroom.

So he lets you bask in your own company. He'll interfere with your personal space for sure one day, hustle in forcefully if you don't let him, no matter how rude and irritating it is, he'll mend the broken bond.

His heart breaks when he notices that you don't look him in the eyes anymore. You always had a strong lively gaze, but they are now hollow. You don't call him when you're struggling to open the jar, you don't ask for him when you can't reach something kept on the top shelf.

His friends are all dejected at how you don't indulge them anymore, they're sad at how they don't get to see you nowadays.

Mingyu had attempted to gauze you out of the coop by inviting the guys to the apartment. But you had locked yourself in the room the whole time.

His parents lament on how he ruined something so beautiful, his sister cries at how you don't communicate with even her nowadays.

He's already going crazy and Sora's pestering him by showing up outside his workplace often or making thousands of phone calls almost everyday, makes him ponder upon how was he even in love with her at some point.

He regrets again, now that he can clearly see the difference. You are you, the actual indifference you're showing is now and it's driving him crazy.

He wants to fix this. He needs to fix both of you because he needs you.

You're in the middle of some paperwork when there's a knock on the cabin door.

Soonyoung enters and the look that you give him is sharp enough to scare him off.

"How have you been doing?"

"Breathing fine, alive."

He should have taken the clue and left but it's Soonyoung and he lives as if he has nine lives.

"We miss you, please stop ghosting us."

"I'm not ghosting anyone."

"Minhee is miserable."

The writing stops, your hand halts for a moment before continuing. Soonyoung knocks on the table demanding your attention on him.

You sigh, having no option but look at him.

"You can be mad at your husband but we didn't do anything, Y/N. I don't even know Mingyu, I'm your friend."

The corner of your lips threaten to curl up. Your heart twinges and you smile sadly, "It's better to be prepared ahead so that you all will get accustomized to it later. Attachments are always painful."

Soonyoung looks at you quizzically, "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing.", you drew yourself back in the papers, "I have a meeting in ten minutes, I need to go over these documents before that."

Soonyoung maybe callous at times but somehow seeing you and hearing your words today makes him bothered.

Another weak passes and you are packing your bags the entire time little by little, unknown to Mingyu because your door is always locked. Your office room is almost empty except for the systems. When Mingyu's not at home, you roam in the bedroom, swaying in the memories you both made there. You lay on the bed, sniffing the pillows because they smell like him.

You crave his touch all the time and him being in your vision doesn't help at all when you could sense the longing in his eyes.

Mingyu doesn't know that you've stolen one of his shirts and a hoodie. He should never find out.

Your soul knows. It tells you that it’s time to distance yourself from those who no longer align with you mentally, emotionally or physically.

"I can't stay here.", you whisper to yourself as you continue to pack rest of the items.

"I'm cursed.", you frantically wipe your tears, "People related to me keep dying."

Your body shakes, eyes producing another batch of fresh tears, "No one should be associated with me. I need to cut everyone out of my life for their sake. Without me, they'd be safe."

You heave a breath, in an attempt to calm yourself, "Mingyu doesn't like me anyways. I'm just a burden. He'll be free once I leave, he can be with Sora.", you rub your chest as it stings, "He'll be happy and that is what I want."

Your gaze instinctively lands on your belly, hands gently rubbing circles, "I promise, even if we won't be together, me and your dad will try our best to raise you. I can't wait to meet you, to hold you."

Mingyu, on the other hand is set on winning you back. He knows you don't like anything extravagant, so he plans to surprise you out a romantic date at home. He's ready to go to the lengths to make you forgive him. He craves your presence, your touch, your shy smiles, the way you call him when you want something from him.

He wants to love you, wants to make love to you. He has been dreaming a lot about starting a family with you. He wants the little versions of you both running around the house. When his friends took the initiative to show him how he has changed and it's for better he knows that it's true. He wonders if all the frustrations were because his heart wasn't ready to seek out the real feelings.

But now he has figured it all out, he likes you, likes you a lot. So he wants this marriage to work out.

He hopes for you to like him back. So who's gonna tell him the truth?

Some free time at work and he's watching new recipes to cook for you. Before going to bed, he's open the phone gallery and goes over your pictures, the pictures which are candid, the ones in which you posed, the best where he's with you in them.

Would you like it, if he throws pebble at your window and serenades you at the middle of the night? Would it be a good idea if goes down on his knees because he hasn't done it before and know he wants to.

Mingyu is all giddy making up scenarios in his head. He wishes to watch them all happen successfully.

"Are you having mood swings?", Jeonghan asks him one day when everyone gathers at the former's home, "Or do you have dissociative identity disorder? You were regretting getting married to her some weeks back and now you're saying that you like her?"

Junhui is grumpy, he takes a look at Mingyu and smacks him hard on his head causing the later to scream out in pain.

"He claims he is the most closest to Y/N and he is grieving because she is not responding to his texts.", Seokmin clarifies and eyes Mingyu in disbelief, "Seriously dude, what's wrong with you? How can you mess up this bad?"

Before Mingyu could speak up, Hansol interjects, "How hard it is to sort out your feelings? How could you even utter such ridiculous things about her when you know how difficult it had been for her, the whole life. Now she even lost her uncle. Imagine listening to your husband yapping about how much he dislikes you when you think he is one you can lean on? And that too instead of voicing out your mind to her first, she heard you telling it to us."

Hansol is a calm man, he never loses his cool except for some situations and this being one of it.

"It's not only me and Jun. Everyone is upset.. I know I'm making it sound bigger, we know that she is your wife, first and our friend, second but we can see that even though she never shows it she cares a lot. I'll tell you no one has ever entertained me constantly to help me, not even you guys. She even suggested me tools that she thought might help me with the editing though she had to invest time on getting to that point. She gifted Jun a diffuser as the previous one was causing him throat irritation but he was too stubborn to discard a newly bought machine."

Seokmin adds up to Hansol, "Didn't she help you with the paperwork late at night even though you both work in an entirely different industry? I'm sorry but did Sora ever do that being in the same line of work? No right. If you would have noticed she has always tried to accomodate herself within us even when it was difficult, it was all new to her."

Mingyu sinks his face into the palm of his hands, as he says regretfully, "I made a huge mistake. I let my intrusive thoughts win and ended up hurting her."

"What if it's too late to fix things?", Soonyoung speaks, his vision dazed as your words from before keeps reeling in his mind, "You should resolve the matters before it's too late."

The following week is hectic for Mingyu. The clients are visiting and everyone has to stay late attending them. It's a whole damn hustle, draining the employees out. The week goes on and out with him spending most of the time in office when all he wants is to go home just to see your face.

It's the last day of the visit and Mingyu thanks the heavens. He's usually patient but now all he wants is to avail the comfort of his home.

It's around one at night but unlike other times the hallway is lit in dim lights flooding  into the dining. There's an eerie silence and something unpleasant awaits.

"Let's get divorced."

When Mingyu came home late at that night to see you awake and waiting for him, there was an uncanny feeling that settled within.

Your hands are crossed, face void of any expression. He almost misses your words. If not for your next words, he would think he's hallucinating.

"We can decide on the terms and clauses, all as per your convenience.", you stress, "I do not expect any trouble from your side."

Mingyu finally registers everything you have said till now and everything hits him all at once.

"W-What are you talking about? Why do you want a divorce all of a sudden?"

Your monotonous tone rather asks him another question, "We have been married for over two years, nearing its third anniversary. Do you really want to be tied in this marriage?"

Though Mingyu thinks he doesn't know you well enough but he knows you enough to catch the wind of your words. He knows its not because of something he had said that day.

A familiar set of papers lying on the table catches his attention. His gaze then turns towards his office room and his suspicion confirms to be correct when he sees the door opened ajar.

"Why did you enter my office? I had clearly warned you about not doing so.", he says in a strict voice.

"That doesn't answer my question.", you say getting up, "Anyways it doesn't matter anymore. I'll get a lawyer, you get one too and proceed with the divorce. Oh, you already have Jeonghan."

As you turn back, you feel your husband's hand wrap around yours.

"How are you so calm? Why are you not asking me anything? Do I really mean nothing to you?", you hear his voice laced in frustration, "We are married for almost three years now and your cool headedness after, I'm assuming, knowing everything makes me aware of the fact that I really don't know you."

You jerk your hand out of his grip and turn back to look at him, "And how is that my fault? Maybe you've never tried to know me.", your voice drops another octave, "You can stop with the doting husband act now that I know the truth."

Mingyu doesn't miss the way your eyes show vulnerability for a moment. Your words strike a chord within him.

"You signed a contract with my uncle in exchange for marrying me.", you chuckle bitterly, "All you wanted was the stocks of the company uncle owned, a goddamn promotion, this house, everything else but me. I was never on the list. I was just a pawn. I don't know what my uncle saw in you to desperately marry me off to you. I hope all of this was worth it. The stocks must have passed down to you smoothly as it can only be acquired by someone working in the company. You can keep this house, keep everything."

"Y/N--"

"I don't wanna hear anything. I was waiting for you to come back so that I could make you aware that you're busted. I'll to go bed."

Mingyu reaches out for you again but you lay out a hand, "Please, I'm tired."

"O-Okay.", Mingyu backs down noticing the resignation in your demeanor, "But we're gonna talk it out tomorrow morning.", he sounds sincere when he says, "I'm sorry. I hope you'll give me a chance to explain everything."

But little does he know, you've already closed the room for any diversions, that you've decided to part ways with the person who has betrayed your trust.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip.

[dondeeee911]

Your first day moving in with your FS

honey i'm hoooome!

1>Book 2>Towel 3>Plant

Pile 1

   You know that saying... “home is a person”🥹 yeah, you are home, and your FS is honored to welcome you both into the home of your dreams. You two may have lived at a distance or one of you never really had a stable home life, always out of reach; on the go. Potentially knowing each other for a long time and bringing this connection back full circle. The home you two will share will symbolize your deep love for one another. This love, my dear, is the foundation of your guy’s new beginning. Stable, resilient, loving, warm, and peaceful. I see it just being you two, holding hands and approaching your residence with a Uhaul parked outside🥹ughh just like in the movies. “Baby the yard is so big!”, “ This should be the baby’s room”, “Let’s paint this the color...”. Filling each other’s minds with euphoric visions, hopes, and wishes you two wish to create. Your FS will look at you with tears in their eyes, in total awe. They see your inner child roaming around the house like it was your first time, they’ve never seen you happier. They love to see you dream big! “Do whatever you want with the place baby, it’s yours, it was all for you” 😭😭🤍

Pile 2

   I see you and your FS moving into an inheritance or receiving an inheritance that lands you both in a luxurious neighborhood. 🤑 I think you both know that you guys hit the jackpot with this one! Interior designers, landscapers, cleaners, and electricians all making the finishing touches before your welcome mat even hits the ground lol. You two will feel very blessed and honored for this opportunity. Rags to riches kind of vibes OR rich to riches! An eventful day and most of it probably won’t be taking place at home because most things are already taken care of. Your FS could want to take you around town to see what’s new and spend more money🫨. It could be a lot to take in for you two but the abundance is endless, Your new neighbors could see you two as powerful and resourceful. While you two are enjoying your move-in day, your neighbors could become nosey, envious, and messy. No proper greeting? No welcome to the neighborhood? ooookay 😂You and your FS will give off very happy and unbothered vibes. 

Pile 3

    A bright day full of banter and warm smiles for you and your FS, I see friends and family wanting to come over to welcome in the big accomplishment. The people around you guys are so appreciative and joyful to pitch in and help. You both will receive many housewarming gifts and compliments about how the place is coming together. Without the loyal community you two share this move would have been a hassle! When the sun is setting and everyone makes their way home after their farewells and good luck wishes; your FS would love to light some candles, grab a bottle of wine, call in take-out, and plop a mattress in the living room watching movies all night until the crack of dawn🥰. “We did it baby, welcome home” 😘

Copyright © 2024 dondeeee911. All rights reserved.

[neon-ufo]

Can anybody attest to a perfect description like the ones we used to know? We were younger then. I'd like to think I'm realistic, still I'm never satisfied. Too afraid of what might come along, too uptight to make it mine.

Song for June: All Good People by Good Luck

~~~ In the past months I've been almost haunted by restless thoughts about my identity & how I've treated it. My closest ones all know I'm trans, but it was something I've kept private from most, as I didn't feel like it was anyone's business. I've repressed it, and I've repressed the art that might've come from it in order to keep it private.

But I recently started to come to terms with the fact that being trans is in fact part of my identity. For the longest time I haven't really felt it was, I kinda just transitioned and moved on. To some degree I still feel like it's much less 'important' to me than it seems to many other people here, which makes me feel a bit alienated. However remaining private about it has started to gnaw at me a lot. I wanted to share it. One's views of oneself can change surprisingly a lot with time.

I had a chat with a fellow transmasc friend not too long ago, about how differently we experience our identities, and it moved something in me. I suddenly felt so much awe for the fluidity of gender expression, in a different way than how I've already appreciated it. Like it just hit me that what I considered a mundane existence wasn't all that mundane after all. I'm trans, and it feels good to say it. (:

Predictably, this piece was very hard to draw. Expressing myself in art doesn't come easy to me, and I can't help but wonder if the two issues might be connected at the core. I took photos of my scars to use in this image, for an additional personal touch <:

[circesastro]

Circe's Astro Observation #3

Note: I am not professional astrologer so please take these observations with a grain of salt. These are just my own observations, ideas, thoughts and theories. This is just for entertainment purposes. Also, please be respectful of my observations! It is perfectly understandable to not resonate with some of my personal observations but please do not leave any disrespectful comments! Without further ado, enjoy!

**All photos are from Pinterest**

MASTERLIST

✿ Aries Mars tend to have a quick reaction or just move very fast

✿ Men with Sagittarius placements tend to have a very active lifestyle. Also they LOVE to spend time in nature/outdoors 😭. Most of their hobbies include skydiving, hiking, camping, etc.

✿ Individuals with Virgo placements hate having leftover food sit in their fridge…

✿ Also, individuals with Cancer suns always seems so calm? Whether it’s true or not is a whole other story but they always seem like the shy and quiet upon first impression…ex: Ateez’s San, Seventeen’s Wonwoo, NCT’s Taeyong, etc.

✿ Virgos tend to do a lot of editing/proofreading before submitting anything (if they could change it afterwards, they would too)

✿ Sagittarius Mars on the other hand are on a whole other level of competitiveness like they’re out for blood…there’s Yuqi from G-idle, Gunwook from ZB1 and even Li Chen…. if you can't tell just watch running man china and you'll know what I'm talking about 🤣

✿ Remember the time when Seok Matthew (Cancer Mars) won an arm wrestling match with Kim Donghyun (6th best UFC Wrestler who participated in Physical 100/ Virgo Mars) but lost to Gunwook (Sagittarius Mars)? Yeah, out for blood

✿ I noticed that in many idol groups, idols with libra placements tend to get popular and praised for the way they act/their mannerisms and charisma…there’s something fresh and unique that they bring to the table that the audience loves (Ex: BTS’s Jimin, Aespa’s Ningning, Gidle’s Yuqi, NMixx’s Lily, SKZ’s Bang Chan, Monsta X’s Joohoney, P1Harmony’s Keeho, Shinee’s Key, etc.)

✿ There’s two types of Scorpio mars— 1) Relies on their strength and drive to get through things (ex: BTS’s Jungkook, Ateez’s San & Seventeen’s Dino) and then there’s 2) One who relies on their mentality and emotional strength to get through things (ex: BTS’s Jimin and Seventeen’s Jeonghan)

✿ You know what is funny? Cancer mars won't get into a physical fight but they are strong??? Their strength is kind of unexpected because they don’t use it all that much.

✿ Aries placement tend to have the type of beauty that captures people’s attention first (ex: Hyunjin of SKZ have an Aries Mars, Karina of Aespa is an Aries Sun + Venus, Mingyu of SVT is an Aries Sun + Venus, Lisa of BlackPink is a Aries Stellium, Jackson Wang is an Aries Sun + Venus, Asa + Ahyeon of BabyMonster is an Aries Sun + Mercury, Cha Eunwoo is an Aries Stellium, Ryujin of ITZY is an Aries stellium, etc.)

✿ Leo placements and their hyperfocus on their hair is so real like my mom is a Leo sun and she always say to take care of your hair, my brother is a Leo Venus and he would always style his hair and use multiple different products before leaving the house and my friend is a Leo Venus and she would change hairstyle every other month….

✿ Pisces Mars women make excellent "gold diggers". I think its because they easily play into people's fantasies. (Ex. Sheraseven, Lauren Sanchez, and my aunt in law 💀.) Also they have this intuition to knowing what it is that the other desires so it may come easier for them to play into the "ideal woman" but before you know it you're trapped...point is I think they can easily bag up a provider.

✿ Pisces Mars women in general seems like the ideal fantasy women. I also notice that their "mask" slips easily but they make it up just as quick. They are the type of people to play a persona/character so well that they eventually end up embodying that energy. (Ex. Marilyn Monroe, Paris Hilton, Im Yoona) Not saying that they are fake, I am just saying that these people often make others fall in love with their personas.

✿ Adding on to the previous statement pisces mars can make great manifestors and I think they will benefit a lot from Law of Assumption. Congratulations 🥳🎉.

✿ This might as well become a pisces mars (both men and women) post but i think its a great deal of delusion + intuition + acting that pisces mars end up manifesting their dream life. (quite literally delulu until it becomes trululu...)

MASTERLIST

[neptunes-sol-angel]

Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for its corresponding message on what you would be canceled for when it comes to your reputation.

Paid Readings | Botanica | Tip Jar

Pile One 🚫

I’m seeing a scenario where a person that’s known for being in a group, decides to go solo. I see that you’re the kind of person who loves the feeling of being in partnerships or in community with others but you’d rather deal with loneliness than compromise the love that you have for yourself. The way that you wield your independence makes people very upset with you. It really feels like people have a nasty habit of trying to humble you so when you show them that they can’t, they want to convince other people to go against you because that’s the only way that they can feel some control over you but you make it vain by not caring so much about if you’re the villain or victim in someone else’s story. If a person believes the worst about you, then there is no need to vindicate yourself because most likely it’s because they already didn’t like you and just wanted a reason to feel secure about their vitriol towards you. You tend to outshine others in some way and people think that you do this on purpose or with sinister intent, but naturally you’re just highly magnetic. The things that make you unique are what make people heavily drawn to you. I’m seeing that people could have the tendency to try to gate keep you, you could be seen as the underdog in a situation or someone who isn’t as known at first until you outgrow your situation and gain this massive attention and support. This also could upset a lot of people because they liked you better when you were down, possibly out of envy or because they feel you’re similar to them so you gave them this feeling of comfort and validation so your ability to obtain this much recognition makes them feel left out. The way people act towards you could trigger imposter syndrome inside you but it’s important to recognize that you truly are talented and you deserve the praise for your skills and hard work. The good things about yourself that other people see whether they want others to notice or not notice, are real. Star qualities are embedded in your dna, you were never meant to burn yourself out because others are threatened by the way that you shine. This reading is supposed to be generally about your reputation, but I actually see potential for this pile to become famous, especially in the music industry.

Pile Two 🚫

It seems like somehow this pile is usually at the scene of the crime. You could feel like time just isn’t on your side. Maybe you guys have capricorn and aquarius placements or saturn is somewhere significant in your chart. A big reason why people would cancel you, is because of who you associate with. Some of you may already know this and are trying to work on it but a lot of you need to hear this message which is to be more selective with who you hang around with because you will keep being caught up in the crossfire in a battle that’s supposed to be meant for someone else. You’d be canceled for always being neutral in an issue that you shouldn’t be silent about. It honestly feels like a lot of your issues come from what you say or don’t say. I’m getting that there are moments where you don’t know when to read the room, for some it’s out of ignorance and naivety but for others your lack of self awareness turns to stupidity which will make others deem you as problematic. Be mindful of who and who isn’t your friend. Some people will passively let you make certain mistakes for their own entertainment or because your demise benefits them. These hurdles in your reputation will also teach you to be cautious of the ways you’re hurting yourself to save others who wouldn’t do the same for you but your rough beginning in learning how to be tactful and poised will make you more recognized and appreciated for your growth. Your mistakes will leave an imprint, but it’s important to not stay in embarrassment from it and to move on because at some point people’s reaction to it will change from disapproval to people seeing how iconic you actually are because of how strong and authentic your character is and your capacity to mature. Some of the negative hits towards your reputation do not have anything to do with what you personally do to others. Some people may cancel you because they feel like you win too much or that you have too much. People may be too harsh on you if you’re young when they shouldn’t because you’re still learning and you should be allowed to enjoy your youthfulness because time waits for no one. I can see people trying to scapegoat you by bringing up real world issues that are out of your control to criticize you because you look luxurious or too comfortable. I feel like your words are also twisted a lot by others too which can be severely annoying.

Pile Three 🚫

People consider you to be very controversial. What you do or what you say is turned into a think piece by others. I can see people trying to diagnose you with something that’s far from the actual truth when really you just want to have fun and a good time. Whether you are wrong or right I can see a lot of people defending you a lot but they could be part of the problem too as well because maybe they also try to put labels onto you or put you on a pedestal that you don’t want to be on. You would be canceled for not doing the things that people want you to do in your career which can either turn out really well in the end or be bad for you. This could push you into hermit mode where you’re not interested in being known by just anyone but the people who you can relate to. I see a lot about you not being able to go through personal matters in private because somehow everything is on display. People in this pile can be older or have experienced mature themes and lessons intensely at a young age or have experienced parents trying to pressure them into being child prodigies for success. What I say will probably irritate you too but I’m actually seeing that as much as it’s good that you’re having fun, most of the destructive and impulsive behaviors that you do come a lot from not being able to have boundaries or moderation with things in your youth but it doesn’t mean that you’re finished or that your life is over yet. If I could describe what people see when they view you as notorious, it would be like a bull inside a china shop. It could even seem like you’re going backwards but you’re trying to find yourself and you will. I see your reputation being a highlight for people who are coming of age or think of you whenever they’re in nostalgia. Whatever that you create in this lifetime will be timeless and healing for others in some way but could have them missing for your presence again as if you’ve made a symbolic cartoon series, album, piece of writing, or even an acting role that does exactly what it needs to do but people still hope that one day you come back to make an extension of it or at least give an update on what you’re up to in your life. People could see your opposition as something that resonates with them spiritually.

[fuxuannie]

Hey girl, I LOVED YOUR HEADCANONS. Specifically abt Ken x Reader. If you can write about headcanons abt maybe when he's jealous? You covered literally almost everything in your headcanons, so I have nothing to request except this 😭

❥﹒kenji sato x gender neutral reader

✦. synopsis — part 2 of the kenji sato headcanons because i am totally normal <3

✦. love mail — i swear i promise ill post hsr guys 😞 just let me have my moment w sato i beg. i’ve decided to just do this req + add some more hehe. thank you sm requester for enabling my brain rot! (pls more ppl do so)

✦. tags — NO SPOILERS, fluff, dadgirl kenji, non-intimate/sexual kissing, kenji sato x reader, i wrote this w my brain off again ( ´͈ ᗨ `͈ ;; pls

Jealousy was not fun for the Kenji Sato. Before Emi came along and changed him, I can see him being the type to get jealous easily. Why would you need to talk to other people anyway? You had him, he was the best. He’d make it real obvious too, suddenly wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close, or the following days he has you wear his iconic jacket while you’re out with him so everyone knows exactly who and what you two are. If it gets to the better of him, he’ll get all pouty about it. He wants all your attention, your eyes all over him and him only. Maybe even hands but that’s a different thing. But I think after Emi’s influence, it’s less possessive and he’s grown to trust you with others instead of letting his feelings get in the way. Of course he’s not immune to jealousy, but you notice it a lot less. It’s less suffocating for you and you’re grateful he’s grown. You did love the pouty face he’d make though, it was cute.

Now if you were jealous, which is really no surprise.. Kenji had thousands of admirers, he had gifts on his doorstep like every other day. He’ll do everything to prove and reassure you that you’re the only one who has his heart. He’ll post you on his social media, take you out on dates, all those things to wash your worries away. Lastly, he’ll hold you in his arms at night and whisper everything he loves about you. Everything you were silently insecure about, he loved. Every date you thought he forgot, he remembered. And to meet a guy like that? How lucky can you be? (He tells you he’s luckier of course. <3)

I think he’s a messy kisser for the most part 🧐. (Forgive me in advance for this part. I am not very good at these things.) When he can take his time, he’s slow and gentle. Genuinely just trying to show you that yeah, he loves you, so damn much. And he’s going to show that through his passion by taking things slow so you can really feel his devotion. Other times, because he’s always in a rush, he’ll do a messy but clearly desperate kiss. He doesn’t like leaving without one, and you can describe him kissing you like it’s his last, (because it’s really not a far-fetched guess considering his line of work) his hand behind your head and pressing your lips against his in an almost ravenous manner. He does give you a very quick kiss on the forehead and runs off after finishing, leaving you a little dazed.

He LOVES to take you out on night rides. If ever you get a little nervous/have a fear of motorcycles, he’ll talk you all the way through via the cardo he put into your helmet. He’ll take you to some nice cafes or restaurants around Tokyo, other time’s he’ll bring you to some favourite childhood spot of his. When you arrive, he’ll tell you about his mother and the memories he’s made in this very special spot. It warms your heart to see his expression be so fond when he talks about his childhood – he truly misses it.

Before you knew of Kenji’s identity, I think it would be funny if you hated Ultraman. You just LOATHED the guy, Kenji asked your thoughts on Ultraman on the first date and you went on a rant about how he threw your car at a Kaiju only to miss. (He felt so embarrassed). It would be funnier if afterwards, he began to actually do his job as Ultraman properly.. and avoided cars on your street and avenue. He wanted to make sure you didn’t utterly hate Ultraman before revealing that he was him.

It would be cute if you and him knew each other like, much earlier. And you called him Ken. And then he made that his alias while he was becoming an All-Star baseball player. :) He’ll brag about it all the time in interviews too, that you’re the reason he uses it. <3

He’s the typa guy to have a picture of you in his room, behind his phone case, in his wallet, in his car and literally anywhere he can get his hands on. He bought a polaroid camera just to take pictures of you, he could care less about the price of film or the camera itself.. he just wanted to have as many pictures of you as possible. He’ll brag about it to his baseball teammates too, considering he also keeps one in his pockets for good luck. :)

You're his goodluck charm. <3