#taking him away from these mfs and putting him on the shelf until they can learn to portray him properly

[toxifoxx]

another beautiful day of blocking people in the fnaf tags for posting godawful takes

[yamagucji]

Embarrassing moments

warnings. just for shits n giggles, 14+ readers preferably, mentions of vomit, poop, choking, etc.

HINATA was extremely constipated and needed to use the bathroom quick. but there’s a long line to the mens bathroom (what’s the occasion anyway??) and he’s standing all the way at the back. poor hinata felt a fart coming so he just couldn’t... hold it in. mans SHARTED. shitted and farted at the same time. it stunk so bad that the guys in front of him said, “damn, you need the toilet more than me,” and let him cut in line.

USHIJIMA and tendou stopped to pet this dog during their walk. tendou’s conversing with the owner while toshi’s petting the dog. dog likes it, it’s all good. until... it got bored and decided that toshi’s butt smelled good. dog just wouldn’t stop sniffing his ass. “please, stop smelling me,” toshi says with desperation, which now catches the others’ attention. the owner has to pry their dog away from toshi’s ass cheeks, please. the awkward tension kinda dies down until tendou utters, “so, what’s your secret? what product are you using?”

YAMAGUCHI drank water in the middle of silent class reading. this boy started choking— and i mean choking on his water. you can hear his muffled coughs in the distance and when you turn around to look at him, his face is all red and his cheeks are puffy. none of his classmates say anything but you can practically feel second-hand embarrassment oozing around. the assistant teacher even has the audacity to say, “drink some water.”

KENMA’s calling this one his last try. he sticks his remaining coins into the slot and tries to get the brand new nintendo box thats in the machine. mf has been going at this for over twenty minutes now. his pouch is empty and there’s a crowd of kids waiting for him. no miracle happens in his last try (shit got stuck!!) so he has to move away only to watch in horror— as the kid after him manages to get it. you’re gonna have to hold kenma down before he hunts that kid with every bit of his soul.

DAICHI had a fat one coming in, that’s for sure. thought it was a free real estate just because everyone else in the camp seemed asleep. so he let that monster fart come out (even partly stuck out his thigh for better airway). whole team was awake in a matter of seconds. nishinoya’s jumped off his sleeping bag and asking everyone if they heard that “loud bang.” tanaka’s over here sniffing around because he knows that no one has got some kind of bomb that stinks.

SAKUSA’s not gonna admit to this one. but one time he opened a bathroom stall (it was unlocked) only to find that it was occupied. there are no words to accurately describe just how horried the sight was. sitting on the toilet was a man taking a shit, with his dick on full boner mode, staring back at sakusa. they only made eye contact for just 2 seconds but sakusa’s seen enough. he’s heard enough too, when said stranger asked him, “you wanna join me?”

ASAHI projectile vomited at the theaters. you should’ve known it was a bad idea to take him out to dinner before going to watch a scary movie. man had no courage to tell you he had an upset stomach nor tell you he’s not a fan of horror. it’s twenty minutes into the movie and he’s poking your arm— but you don’t notice because you’re too engrossed. another twenty minutes, and a jumpscare comes on. man beside you vomits like there’s no tomorrow. ya’ll spend the rest of the movie secretly trying to clean his throw-up.

TENDOU was watching anime in his dorm peacefully. until... the whole shiratorizawa team opened the door just in time for the show to switch up to an inappropriate scene. out of all the times they could’ve walked in, they really had to come when 2d clown man was moaning and fighting a kid? tendou scrambled to close his laptop but now he’s just staring back at his teammates; silent, except for the fact that his show is still playing and you can still hearing moaning in the background.

TSUKISHIMA turned his house upside down and still couldn’t find his glasses, nor his extra pair. he was about to leave bare eyed until his mom caught him and forced him to wear his sports glasses. yeah, the one with the whole strap and everything. mans looked like a fool coming to school with it on. people who didn’t know it was his sports glasses mistook it for swimming goggles. he’s so utterly humiliated now, he can’t even bite back when hinata or kageyama says something.

GOSHIKI... i don’t even know what to tell you. who let this kid go further into the lake by himself? it’s all fun and games for everyone until you hear an ear-defeaning shriek by your one and only goshiki. he’s yelling out, “help me! please! help!!” the lifeguards start kicking in and everyone’s trying to make way. is he drowning? is there something there? no for god’s sake. you find out he just made it 5 ft deep and happened to swim over a bunch of seaweed. never take him swimming again.

ATSUMU decided to check himself out using someone’s car window. he’s fixing his hair, picking at his teeth, and even checking to see if he has any boogers. all of a sudden the window rolls down and there’s a senior citizen staring back at him. “boy do you think my car is your mirror?” the man says in a gruffy voice. atsumu’s knees nearly buckle from how scary this man is and how embarrassed he is of all the four minutes he probably spent with this stranger.

SACHIRO’s job as a vet sometimes makes him do really questionable shit (from an outsider perspective). once he had to ejaculate someone’s dog in front of their owner. uh huh... jack them off, for the sole purpose of examining the dog’s semen. he’s never felt such a wave of regret wash through his body during that whole procedure. it didn’t help when the owner was looking at him mortified, nor the fact that it took such a long time.

OIKAWA does this thing were he shows up unexpectedly behind iwaizumi and slaps his ass. everytime he does it iwa always hits him back (but not the ass). today he learnt his lesson when he mistook a stranger for iwa and slapped the guys ass from the moon and back. when i tell you just how quick all the blood drained from oikawa’s body when the man turned around— you can hear a bag of chips fall at the other end of the aisle and it’s the iwa, who had to witness that whole ass-slap event.

ARAN is gonna knock the shit of the miya twins one day, he swears to god. they sent him a mysterious video during his morning walk, where he stopped at a busy street. it starts off quiet, so he goes to turn the volume up full blast. damn video suddenly started blaring ‘lick my pussy and my-’ please... he’s shaking. passerby’s are looking at him with distaste. aran’s now flushed from embarrassment and running towards the miya house. you can guess what happens next.

BOKUTO walked into the wrong house. spent a whole ten minutes rummaging around the kitchen because his friend said to “make yourself comfortable, i’ll be on my way.” little did this man know that there’s a whole family upstairs waiting for the cops to arrive because they think it’s a robbery. poor bokuto, dragged out of the house by some cops but had no idea what was going on. man was literally just vibing— thinking he was in his friends house.

OSAMU swore this size pants still fit him (hint: it doesn’t). he’s walking through the snack section of the store, lightly limping because damn his dick can’t breath. his truth is tested when he goes to pick something off the lowest shelf and his pants literally go, ‘let er rip.’ fabric tore, and what’s worse is that he was wearing onigiri undies. osamu goes to check if there’s anyone else in the aisle and there is— a group of underclassmen girls from his high school.

KUROO tried to make his chemistry presentation more interesting by putting in jokes. he thought they were funny; kenma even huffed a breath. kuroo’s at his third joke by now and literally no one has laughed. not a single one. except for kuroo himself, who’s awkwardly laughing in a dead-silent room. man was embarrassed. other people are getting second-hand embarrassment by the way they avoided eye contact with him. he vented to kenma later only for kenma to say, “it wasn’t funny. it was just stupid.” poor kuroo.

SUNA accidentally connected his bluetooth to the bus. you know, the one that drives all of inarizaki to their games. wanna guess what the fuck he might’ve been listening to? it’s porn. he’s watching porn in broad daylight. suna doesn’t realize what the issue is until he goes to turn up the volume and notices that the sound is off. he take his airpods off and that’s when he hears pure moaning sounds blaring inside the bus. everyone’s laughing— except for kita and their coach who’s still outside. mf calls himself lucky for that.

[rek1s-headband]

hi! figured i’d drop a request for you :))! Maybe some general bf hcs for reki and langa? Just in general how they would be as a boyfriend or how they would act in a relationship?

Hi!! Thank you so much for your request, I’ve been excited to do one of these. I hope you enjoy it!

➯ random boyfriend headcannons

➯ characters: Reki Kyan and Langa Hasegawa x gn reader

➯ warnings: none! Just some fluff for these two boys:)

Reki:

-Literally the most enthusiastic person you’ve ever seen. He’d be happy to just sit in silence with you because come on, it’s YOU. There’s no one he’d rather be wasting the hours away with.

-Your biggest hype man, EVER. You post something on Instagram? Get ready for a flood of comments, all from him. You could put your phone down for two minutes after posting, and you’ll come back to 99+ notifications of just reki commenting along the lines of “woah suddenly I’m on one knee” “DAMNNNN” and many, many more.

-Never leave your phone unattended around him. He won’t snoop, but be prepared to come back to your camera roll flooded with just zoomed in pictures of his face, his mouth, his eye, ANYWHERE. Mf is spamming your whole phone with pictures of him for you to come back to.

-He has to always be touching you in some way. Whether it’s holding your hand, your waist, a casual arm around your shoulder, there has to be something. He’ll put his hand on your ass sometimes while you walk in public.

-Honestly doesn’t even think PDA is anything out of the ordinary. Like, you’re his s/o??? Yes you’re in his lap, yes you’re in the middle of the skatepark, so what? You’re his, and he’s happy he can make everyone aware of that.

-I saw a post on here that said he would peel stickers off fruit and stick them to peoples’ foreheads, and I fully stand by this. However, it doesn’t just stop at fruit stickers. Anything remotely sticky, whether it’s tags from clothes, tape from a food box, even random sequins and bits of glitter he finds around, it’s immediately being stuck to some part of your face.

-Loves casual dates. Stopping by food stalls, browsing in clothes and game stores for a few hours, and skating around with you until it’s time to go home is a dream for him. Be prepared for day-long dates, because he will clear his entire schedule just to spend the day with you.

-His family adores you. His mother is always goading him to bring you over more, complaining that she misses her "honorary son/daughter/child". His sisters love you too. Any time you come over there’s immediately three tiny bodies shooting at you, grabbing you by the waist and dragging you over to wherever they’re playing. Reki tries to drag you away, wanting to have you for himself, but you always try and stay for at least five or ten minutes. Secretly, he loves that you get along so well with his siblings, going soft at the thought of how you would act with children of your own.

-He loves playing video games with you. Sitting in his lap, the two of you could spend hours switching from game to game. One minute you could be burning down a village in Minecraft, the next complaining while Reki whoops your ass in Mario Kart. His mom brings you food for your breaks between games, and she’ll even stay for a few minutes to talk to you while Reki shifts underneath you, glowing red from embarassment.

-If you can’t skate, he would beg to teach you. If you accept, he goes all out. He’ll make you your own customised board just for practicing, making sure it’s absolutely perfert for you to learn on. But if you can skate, get ready for endless races and competitions to see who can nail a new trick the quickest.

-Adores when you come to S to support him. He loves looking into the crowd and seeing you there cheering him on before he goes into a beef. If he wins, he’ll race over to where you are in the crowd, picking you up and spinning you around, kissing you without a care in the world. However, if he loses he’s thankful you’re always there to pick him back up and make him feel better afterwards.

-Loves cleaning you up after a big fall, kissing your bruises and cuts better. He’ll carefully wrap each injury with care, telling you how brave you are, no matter how small the cut. Secretly, he loves when you baby him after he falls himself. Seeing you wipe away the blood from a new cut and place a small plaster on it with such tenderness melts his heart in a way only you could.

-Speaking of plasters, this man has one for every occasion. Princesses, pirates, aliens, cats, dogs, sparkles, stripes, you name it, he’s got it.

-The type to sneak you out at two in the morning to get a slushee with him. Honestly, he’s up so late making boards for people he just has no perception of time.

-Spams your phone with TikToks or other funny things that reminds him of you. It could be a very specific thing, or a flower or cloud. If he thinks of you when he sees it(which is fairly often), it gets sent to you.

-Talks with his hands a lot. He’s a very expressive talker, so when he’s telling you a story it feels like you’re right there in the story with him.

-Please just kiss him. His cheeks, his forehead, his hand, his shoulder, his temples, his lips. Anywhere, he’ll melt under you. Mf is touch starved to the max.

-Always knows how to make you laugh. His laugh is infectious, it could get you out of your darkest moods.

-Sleeps with his head on your chest, and one hand in your shirt little perv.

-His social media is like a SHRINE for you. His highlights, his posts, his stories, EVERYWHERE. He’s just so proud to be able to call you his that he wants the whole world to know.

-Kisses in the rain while you run home, skateboards in your hands after the weather forecast failed you once again. He’s just so happy in the moment that he can’t contain himself, so he’s pulling you into him in the pouring rain, kissing you hard while your hair gets drenched.

-You don’t need to steal his clothes, he will literally give them to you because “you just look so cute wearing them”. Occasionally, he’ll take one of your hoodies, and even if it doesn’t exactly fit him, he’ll still keep it near him while he sleeps so he can keep your scent close to him.

Langa:

-This man is so oblivious to obvious hints, but still manages to pick up on the smallest of details? It’s incredible, honestly. He could describe the exact colour of your eyes with the most insane detail, but he still won’t notice when you try and hint that you like him in the first place!

-You two have a bit more of a low-key relationship, but you’ll make your usual appearance in his Instagram posts, or on his Snapchat story with a casual caption like a simple heart, or “my love<3”

-Not very big on PDA, not because he doesn’t like it, but because he doesn’t think of it. However, when he does feel like he’s being too physically distant, he’ll link pinkies with you as you walk along, or rest his head on your shoulder while you watch a video on your phone.

-His mom adores you, which is why Langa despises bringing you to his house. You always seem to leave with seven of his baby photos from his time snowboarding in Canada, a new recipe from his mother that you complimented, another one of his hoodies, and more miscellaneous stuff that you don’t even know how it ended up in your bag. He has a little shelf in your room specifically for this random stuff, and he always adds to the collection when he comes to your house. He’ll leave a keyring, a small toy, a Polaroid, anything honestly.

-Loves dates that you can experience. The movies, aquariums, museums and the zoo are common dates for the two of you to go on, but other than that, he adores going skateboarding with you. He’s been improving, and he loves when you notice little things he’s been picking up on, whether it be a new trick or simply how he balances himself on the board.

-Adores old Disney movies. Yall will binge a ton of them in one day, having full-blown musicals in Langa’s living room. When any of the romantic songs come on, like “So this is Love” from Cinderella, Langa will stand up and offer his hand to you, as the two of you waltz around his sitting room, humming the tune of the song.

-Study dates are frequent with the two of you. If you happen to stay up late studying and fall asleep on each other, his mother will cover the two of you with a blanket, tidying some of your books and leaving with a smile, happy with the knowledge you were making her son the happiest he’s been in quite a while.

-Slow dancing in the kitchen while you cook is a regular. When a particularly sappy love song comes on while he stirs the pot, he’ll turn around and hold you close to him, twirling you around the kitchen.

-Reki constantly jokes that he is a third wheel, poking fun at the two of you, Cherry and Joe, and Shadow and “his little girlfriend back at the flower shop”. He’ll hang out of Miya, whining about them having to stick together since they’re the only two “lone wolves”. He’ll usually get a well-earned thump into the back of the head from Miya, but it’s still funny to watch the whole thing go down.

-Tends to be shy when giving you clothes, so instead of asking you to wear them he’ll leave them out in places he knows you’ll find them, or he’ll come up behind you and plop it in your lap, murmuring about how cute it would look on you.

-Please do this man’s makeup. He will sit so still for you, waiting patiently while you dab eyeshadow at his eyes, trying not to blink so you don’t mess up his mascara. He’ll sit there mesmerised for a few minutes, taking in how he looks, and simply whisper “you do this every day?”

-Evem though he’s not a very openly affectionate person, he is stuck to your hip behind closed doors. He’ll lie in your lap for hours, staring up at you while you mess with his hair, pulling it into little plaits and pigtails.

-I can’t even describe how the two of you sleep. It’s simply a mass of limbs, and no one knows exactly what belongs to who. Somehow one of yall will end up upside down, and-why is Langa on the floor??

-He could talk about his time in Canada for hours, and you’d just lie on his chest and listen to him. Every once in a while he’ll look down at you to see if you’re still listening, and his heart will melt a little every time he sees you staring back up at him, eyes wide with interest.

-This man NEVER gets jealous. You’d literally have to cling to another man for it to click in his brain that Oh. He doesn’t like that.

-He’s not big on texting, but if you call him he will stay on that call with you for hours, even after the two of you fall asleep.

-Whenever he falls(which is quite often), you’ll always have plasters on hand to help fix him up. He always flushes bright red when you kiss his cuts better, and never knows just what to do with himself afterwards.

-When he skates against tough opponents, you’ll always give him a kiss for good luck. Of course, this doesn’t stop you worrying, but you know Langa wouldn’t go out of his way to get injured. And if he does, well, at least he’ll have you there to kiss his bruises better.

[h34rtizuku]

༺♡༻ if ur under 18, dni ✧ luv u tho

∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗

୨୧ izuku is a pro hero with a 6 year old kid and it’s not mf easy

୨୧ while he’s at work, inko will watch over the child but he feels bad for putting all that burden on her so he decides to hire a nanny

୨୧ while he’s at work, inko will watch over the child but he feels bad for putting all that burden on her so he decides to hire a nanny

୨୧ while he’s at work, inko will watch over the child but he feels bad for putting all that burden on her so he decides to hire a nanny

୨୧ you're not too big on kids but you're good with them and that he experiences first hand ~

୨୧ he’s at the store one weekend with kiddo and he’s in the chip aisle looking for which type he wants to get

୨୧ mumbling to himself about which type he’s craving now but what if that craving changes later and he wants a different flavor instead

୨୧ he lets go of the little one’s hand for a split second to get the bag off the shelf and once the grocery is in his arms he turns to his side to grab the little one’s hand once more, only to find him not there

୨୧ he looks up and down the aisle - no kid

୨୧ he goes to the neighboring aisles - not there

୨୧ he goes all around the store, nervously sweating, muttering insults to himself that he lost his only kid - how stupid and unfit of a parent he was

୨୧ until he comes upon an aisle and hears the sniffles of a small child the child took a bit after him when he was a kid, a bit of a crybaby

୨୧ but he sees you

୨୧ calmly reassuring the child, patting his back, telling him to calm down and not to worry that you’ll go look for his father together

୨୧ he doesn’t know why but the sight tugs at his heart, there is something so pure and natural about how you are treating his child

୨୧ but he’s breaking up the sweet moment with a call of his child’s name causing the little boy to turn around and rush into izuku’s large warm arms

୨୧ you’re standing there a little shocked because omg that’s pro hero deku in the mf flesh

୨୧ but you're also happy that the lost boy has been reunited with his father

୨୧ you're about to walk off with a smile when he stops you

୨୧ he thanks you profusely for your help and you’re shyly like ‘it’s no biggie’ with blushed cheeks

୨୧ he asks if he can properly thank you and you’re like dude it’s really no problem

୨୧ he really is thankful but there is also something deep inside him that doesn’t quite want to let you go

୨୧ so he’s like let me buy your groceries and take you out for coffee

୨୧ and you’re about to refuse but you’re a poor college student so getting this weeks groceries for free was one thing

୨୧ but also how are you gonna pass up having coffee with the number one hero and his cute little mini-me ???

୨୧ so yall are at a cute lil cafe where he learns that you're a college student and looking for a partime job over the summer

୨୧ he’s like, you know what, why don’t i hire you as my nanny

୨୧ you’re like i’m not sure, i’m not really a kid person

୨୧ he’s like, i saw you with him, you’ll be just fine - besides he’s a good kid, he just needs someone to watch over him and feed him

୨୧ also i pay really well

୨୧ so you’re like … say less

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ so the first day on the job you arrive at like 8 am, he gave you the code to his door so you just let yourself in

୨୧ you see kiddo at the kitchen table just eating his cheerios or whatever but no sign of izuku

୨୧ so you just go over and take a seat next to the kid and make small talk with him

୨୧ then you hear some shuffling coming from behind you causing you to turn around and investigate

୨୧ lo and behold you see a shirtless izuku with nothing but gray sweatpants hanging low on his wide hips

୨୧ he’s got a towel across his broad shoulders that he’s using to dry the jade curls that haven’t been shaved off as a part of his undercut

୨୧ you follow the droplets of water as they slide down the crevices of his pectorals and abdomen, drifting down his v line and the small tuft of hair leading down from his belly button and melting into the waistline of his pants

୨୧ you’re trying not to salivate at the sight but you also can’t bring yourself to look away just yet wanting to memorize and study the location of every scar and freckle littering his muscular torso

୨୧ he stops drying his hair for a minute and finally sees you like ‘oh great you’re here - how was the trip over here? it wasn’t too hard to find right?’

୨୧ and you’re burning eyes finally tear away from caramel torso and you’re like ‘nope, i found it just fine’ ahaha

୨୧ he gives you a little low down on like, what kid likes to eat, what he doesn’t, what he likes to do, when he goes down for a nap … all that good babysitting stuff

୨୧ after he’s dressed in his hero outfit, he’s kissing his lil nugget goodbye, telling him to treat you nicely, and with several final thank you’s he’s out the door

୨୧ and that’s the start of your job nannying the kid of the number one hero

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ he was right, the kid is a really easy kid

୨୧ he goes down easy for his nap, he’s potty trained, inko raised him like she did izuku so he’s basically the perfect kid, he’s really sweet and will sit down and watch movies with you or he plays really easy by himself playing with his deku, all might, and dynamite action figures

୨୧ and if how easy a job it was, or the smoking hot employer wasn’t enough, the first time you got your paycheck was

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ one day, there was a sudden summer storm that hit right as you reached your stop on the bus

୨୧ you didn’t have an umbrella, forcing you to run to izuku’s house in the pouring rain

୨୧ you show up through the front door and he comes in to greet you only to see you drenched and shivering due to the ac in his home

୨୧ he’s like, “hey y/n how- oh my god, you’re soaked.”

୨୧ and you’re rubbing at your arm awkwardly and trying to create any sort of warmth as you tell him how you got in this mess

୨୧ he’s taking in your soaked form and suddenly his worrying eyes turn into curious ones as he watches a droplet slide from your chin, down your neck, and down your chest to fall between the top alley of your breasts due to the first few buttons of your top being opened

୨୧ the white top you decided today was the perfect day to wear, and without a bra no less

୨୧ but in your shivering and embarrassment you forgot all about that minor detail

୨୧ oh but izuku didn’t forget it

୨୧ he imagined that water droplet sliding down the valley of your breasts underneath your blouse and gliding over your stomach, almost getting lost in your belly button, only to disappear under your waistband

୨୧ he imagined what it would be like to lick the droplets off your hot skin

୨୧ he scanned back up and noticed the tight see-through material of your shirt hugging your tits, dipping into every crevice leaving nothing to the imagination

୨୧ he sees the dark hue of your nipples from behind the cloth, along with the 2 little peaks your buds have made due to the cold air circulating in his house bonus points if you have your nipples pierced, i’m jealous of you

୨୧ he pulls his gaze away when he sees a violent shiver rack your body

୨୧ he leaves for a moment and comes back with a warm towel, almost sad to see the sight of your tits gone but your comfort and warmth was more important to him

୨୧ he tells you to dry off a bit as he goes and gets the shower started for you

୨୧ you’re thanking him yet apologizing for the trouble as you’re gonna make him late for work

୨୧ and he’s denying any negative comments coming out your mouth saying that he technically is at work as helping people is his job and he wouldn’t be a good hero if he didn’t help someone right in front of him

୨୧ he tells you to take as long as you need getting washed up and getting the temperature back in your body

୨୧ he doesn’t have time to think about how you’re just a few feet and a closed bathroom door away from him, naked ~ as he picks out the smallest pieces of clothing he has in his closet

୨୧ he finds an old t-shirt and shorts from his high school days and lays them on his bed telling you through the door that when you’re done he has clothes waiting for you

୨୧ you don’t take too long getting washed up as you know he needs to get to work so only about 10 minutes later you’re walking into the living to izuku sitting on the couch watching the movie his kid wanted to put on

୨୧ he sees you come in from his peripherals as his heart damn near stops seeing you in his clothes

୨୧ the clothes were so small they couldn’t fit him any longer, not after getting a post-high school growth spurt and getting broader due to his hero work

୨୧ but the fact that his already small clothes were swallowing you just did something to him

୨୧ blame it on his size kink he don’t know he has quite yet

୨୧ he pulls himself together to tell you that he threw your soiled clothes in the wash before he says his good byes to his kiddo

୨୧ he’s heading out the door while you and his son are telling him to be safe out there when just as he’s about to leave you call out to him

୨୧ he’s turning around maybe a lil too fast, but he sees you with an umbrella in your hand telling him that you ‘wouldn’t want him to make the same mistake you did’ with a cute bashful smile on your face that almost made him call in sick to work

୨୧ but he knew he couldn’t do that

୨୧ screw being number one hero and all that

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ a few weeks later he comes home from work, tired af as one would

୨୧ but he gets to the door and sees you and his kiddo waiting for him inside

୨୧ you have a cake in your hands and his little one pops one of those little confetti canons at his father with a loud “happy birthday”

୨୧ he’s a lil shocked, a lil surprised, but in a good way

୨୧ he looks at you

୨୧ “well kiddo told me it was your birthday and with a quick little google search i confirmed it to be true. and i felt bad that you had to work on your birthday so we decided to bake you a cake while you were gone and wait for you to get home.” you said softly

୨୧ he had totally forgotten it was his birthday but if it being his birthday meant that he could see you in a little apron waiting for him to come in the door …

୨୧ damn he wished it was his birthday everyday

୨୧ y’all move into the kitchen to start cutting the cake and as you’re plating slices you lean down to the little one and tell him to ‘go get the birthday card he made for daddy’

୨୧ and izuku who wasn’t quite paying attention is like “hmm?” and you just like look at him

୨୧ and he’s like, “oh i thought- you were calling for me-“

୨୧ and you’re like mf, i don’t call you daddy yet

୨୧ but yall just kinda like awkwardly get past it and move on when the child comes running in with his folded construction paper with a green stick figure on the front labeled ‘dad’

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ it all leads up to the day about a month later when you arrive at their home to no sign of the kid

୨୧ and you’re like ~ wtf? he always comes to greet me at the door with a hug and he’s not doing that

୨୧ and you’re looking in the kitchen and the living room to see no sign of the child

୨୧ when you’re about to head into his room to see if he somehow decided to sleep in today, izuku comes out his room

୨୧ and you’re like, where’s the kid?

୨୧ and he’s like, oh, i meant to tell you that my mom came by just a few minutes ago and decided to take him out for the day

୨୧ so you’re like, okay, should i just go home then?

୨୧ and he’s like, you could but i just so happen to have the day off and i think it would be nice if we got to spend some time together, without the kid around

୨୧ and you’re like, what am i gonna do ?? say no ?!

୨୧ so y’all go out for coffee, take a walk around the park, and then go out for lunch before going back to his house to watch like a movie or whatever

୨୧ y’all get back home and he sits on the couch scrolling through streaming sites looking for a movie and you’re coming back from the bathroom

୨୧ when you’re walking to the couch, your foot catches one of the kid’s toys that was lying on the floor causing you to trip and stumble forward

୨୧ izuku moves to catch you causing you to fall into his chest and practically on top his lap

୨୧ you’re out of breath from the sudden adrenaline spike but the close proximity between the two of you isn’t making it any easier to catch said breath

୨୧ neither of y’all are moving, just staring into each others eyes as he quietly asks “are you alright?”

୨୧ his warm breath dancing across your face as you give him a light nod

୨୧ his eyes suddenly move to your lips and out of his mouth comes the words you thought you’d never hear

୨୧ “can i kiss you?”

୨୧ and with a split glance to his lips you’re nodding fervently

୨୧ not soon enough his lips are on yours : plump, warm, and soft ~ tasting of the coffee and the mint gum he chewed after lunch

୨୧ you two pull apart reluctantly but he sets his forehead against yours as he catches his breath

୨୧ “please tell me you feel the same way for me as i do for you?” he whispers

୨୧ you bite your lip, “and how do you feel about me?”

୨୧ “like i want to hold you. kiss you. and come home to you everyday. not just as a babysitter.”

୨୧ “is that all?” you ask

୨୧ “i have a few other things i feel about you but i think it’s too early to tell you.”

୨୧ you link your arms around his neck and play with the stubble of emerald that is his undercut, “i wanna know.” you whisper.

୨୧ he’s like, are you sure…. you won’t think it’s inappropriate ?

୨୧ and you reassure him cuz little does he know of the countless nights you laid with your hand between your thighs imagining it was him getting you off

୨୧ “well uh- i-i really wanna fuck you.” he quietly admits

୨୧ you readjust your position to straddle his lap, your legs on either side of his thighs

୨୧ “how?” you ask

୨୧ “how what?” he replies as he tentatively places his hands lightly on your waist

୨୧ “how,” you start, leaning down to ghost your lips atop his, “do you wanna fuck me?”

୨୧ his breath stutters, something about those words coming out of your mouth

୨୧ he’s quiet for longer than you would like, “c’mon tell me” you whine, moving your lips from his mouth, down his jaw, and along his neck

୨୧ his breath quickens, soon letting out a low groan when you stumble upon his sweet spot

୨୧ you pull away causing him to almost whine, “start talking ~ tell me how you wanna fuck me.”

୨୧ “well f-first i wanna kiss all over you. your cheeks. your neck. your hands. i w-wanna feel your warm soft skin under my lips.”

୨୧ he pauses a bit but you urge him to continue

୨୧ “i wanna play with your tits. i wanna suck on your nipples. i’ve wanted to ever since you came in soaked by the rain that day.”

୨୧ as he gets more confident, his voice gets deeper, raspier, laced with lust

୨୧ “i wanna kiss all the way down your body until i reach that sweet pussy of yours, i’ve been dying to get a taste.

୨୧ you let out a low moan into his collar bone, “and then what?”

୨୧ “then after i’ve made you come on my tongue a few times, i wanna stuff you full of my cock. not stopping until i breed you. gave you a baby of your own since you’re so perfect with kiddo already.”

୨୧ “i wanna make you a mommy.”

୨୧ you gasp, your breaths coming out in short hurried puffs as you come up from sucking on his neck

୨୧ “so why don’t you?”

୨୧ he’s frozen

୨୧ “why don’t you fuck your child in me, daddy?”

୨୧ and just like that whatever submissive izuku moment you had going on, is gone

୨୧ he’s on top of you in seconds, squishing you into the couch cushions beneath you as he does just what he said he would do, and then some

yoooooo, happy belated birthday to the actual love of my life. i cried like three times over him yesterday. i hope he’s doing good.

also i’m not gonna sit here & pretend i know anything about how the japanese choose to name their offspring so that’s why kiddo is nameless

[sunsents]

The Cardigan - F.W 18+

My first ever post and it's a goddamn smut one shot. This has been in my Wattpad drafts for way too long (wrote it three-four months ago), it's not the best, and I'm not proud of the writing but et eez what et eez. I really wan't to start publishing my work and gotta start somewhere. Also the smut is shitty, and the dirty talk is just goddamn vile. Also I'm a horny mf.

Summary ---> "Is that mine? You look better in it than me, that's for sure." An intimate night with Fred after you guys find the house all to yourselves. This is just pure filth, like scroll if you wan't plot. 🌚

Pairing: fred weasley/fem!reader

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: smut / overstim if u squint / cursing / thigh tiding / dirty talk / fred being a horny little shit / an attempt at innuendos / hand-job / cum play (?) / like one ass slap

Rating: 18+

DON'T REPOST MY WORK

The bathroom at the Weasley's were quite cramped, but you didn't care. Your shower was more than satisfactory, the wavering smell of Mrs. Weasley cooking downstairs mixing with the wonderful scent of Fred's shampoo. The hot water loosened all your fatigued muscles - those extra hours out on the field playing Quidditch was worth it - your muscles were taut, flexing wonderfully whenever you lifted your arm to rinse off the products in your hair.

When you opened the door of the bathroom, clouds of hot air escaping and surrounding the small corridor, you were surprised to hear no footsteps, loud chattering of your friends and the usual plates clinking in the kitchen. You figured going downstair naked wouldn't be a good idea, and entered Ginny's room.

The disheveled bedroom was empty, and you looked out the window to the vast garden and wheat fields that got darker with the hot summer night approaching. There was no sign of anyone and you were starting to get anxious. Maybe it was because of the unusual silence - the Weasley household always had some kind of chaos happening - nevertheless, you quickly slipped on some satin shorts and a soft, white knit sweater to keep the evening breezes at bay. After swiftly drying your hair with a towel - you were letting it air dry, Cosmopolitan said Cindy Crawford did it - you applied whatever product was routine for your body and left the room.

Your magical radio was playing a soft jazz from the den and immediate relief washed over you when you stepped downstairs. The creams and perfumes that stuck to your skin wafted around the air and filled the rooms with delicious essences, and your soft socks slipped and slid across the wooden floor to the kitchen as you pushed yourself with ease. You quickly caught yourself with a chair and laughed, being alone wasn't so bad, you figured you could find ways to entertain yourself.

Until, a low chuckle from the den caused you to yelp and almost fall on your ass, merlin forbid. You couldn't bear another injury after George two left feet Weasley accidentally kicked you on the shin while playing Quidditch.

Speaking of Weasley, Fred Weasley was sprawled out on the couch, wearing only his boxers and a long, loosely knitted cardigan sitting on his exposed skin. You felt your mouth water, his head was lazily thrown back, exposing his curved neck and Adam's apple, his freckles more noticeable than ever. He was staring at you, his lips tugging a smile and enjoying the show you put on. Humiliation, is what it was. You were sliding around floorings like Madame Maxine on ice.

Your blood suddenly felt on like liquid fire, and you opened the cupboards to get yourself a glass of water. "Aguamenti," you casted, and from the corner of your eye you saw Fred's gaze set on your exposed legs, trailing up to your ass that was slightly exposed from the length of your shorts. They rode up more when you stood on your toes to place the cup back on the shelf after chugging the liquid down and muttering a cleaning spell.

"Is that mine?" you cleared your throat, finishing up in the kitchen and walking over to one of the rocking chairs. You didn't know why Fred was sitting around practically naked - you didn't question because he was Fred Weasley and you were tired. You weren't complaining etiher.

"Yeah," Fred said breathlessly. "It's surprisingly comfortable."

"You look better than me in it, that's for sure." You chuckled darkly, eyeing his provocative muscles. The hickeys you had left from a few days ago were slightly healed, soft reds trailing his nape and they weren't helping the growing desire between your legs. "Where is everyone?" you asked.

Fred quickly noticed your poorly hidden lustful stares and moved the cardigan away with a sly smirk, revealing more of his abs and flexed thighs. "They went out to Diagon Ally, won't be back until ten." he said. You nodded then took a deep, shaky breath and picked up a magazine from the coffee table. You settled in your mind that maybe looking through the new season Versace bikinis would calm your lust.

Fred let out a long, erotic sigh, allowing a soft groan to escape his lips along the way. Your hand twitched, you were still oblivious to his intentions and crossed your legs for some friction. "Hey ____," Fred called out, and you hummed in response, not looking up from your magazine. You seemed to have read the same line five times now. "I think there's something in my eye, can you blow on it."

Your eyes went wide, Fred was vulgar. This was no surprise to you after dating him for almost two years, but saying something so shamelessly, no hesitation still made your heart stutter. Your imagination was running wild now, you pictured every single thing you wished to do to him at this moment, in those clothes. You quickly put your magazine down, more of slapped it on the table. "Sure, yeah." you said in a shaky voice, then stood up and walked over to him.

Fred's arms were wide on the couch, and one of them pulled your hand down when he was able to reach you. Your heart stopped for a moment, you felt herself land harshly on his thigh and the impact on your core caused a groan from the back of your throat to slip out.

Fred was rather enjoying himself, his head lazily leaning back on the pillow as he rubbed your thighs up and down, digging the pads of his fingers into your skin and causing an embarrassingly load of your juices to flow to your newly worn panties.

You readjusted yourself so the heat between your legs weren't in direct contact with his thigh. You scooted closer and had to bite back a moan when Fred jerked his leg up and applied pressure on your clit. You were trying your best not to show his effect on you, "Which eye." you hissed through gritted teeth, still pursuing his obvious lie.

Fred's shit eating grin only grew wider, and he took your hand and placed it right on his crotch. He was hard beneath his boxers, swelling bigger the second and you were fighting the urge to palm his cock. You shot him a warning look to which he playfully frowned, then gestured to his right eye. You leaned in closer, maybe he really did have something in his eye.

Fred's breathing was heavy, fanning over your lips as you tried to take a closer look. Your inspection was cut short when he gripped your waist, riding up your sweater to touch you directly. You gasped and straightened up at his rough hands kneading around your stomach. Chills were racing down your spine, you didn't want to give in just yet, just for teasing purposes, but Fred was making it unbelievable hard with his tousled hair and hooded eyes boring into yours.

Your panties felt soaked and you hoped he wouldn't notice, but when Fred gripped your shorts and pulled them down, his eyes fell on the wet fabric that was stuck to your entrance. You were painfully aware of how aroused you were, and your heated cheeks weren't helping with your embarrassment.

Fred licked his lips - his expression lust crazed - then he gripped one of your legs and guided it around his thighs, making you straddle him. He held both of your thighs and pulled you in closer, and when your knee touched his boner, it caused him to groan lowly and attempt to close the small gap between your two bodies.

You marveled at the idea of being any more closer to him, the aching on your lower abdomen making you grind yourself on his thigh, whimpering at the much needed friction. The scene looked erotic to you, Fred's finger had slithered down to your panties and moved them to the side to expose all of you, flushed and swollen. He gripped your waist again and started rocking your body on his thigh, "Ride my thigh baby, wan't you to get off on me," he said huskily, "Slow and good~"

You didn't know what else to do other than nod as much agreeable a nod could get. Fred started guiding your hips at a slow pace, not letting you fasten it once. He tutted when you tried for the second time, "Stop being impatient my love." he crooned, straightening himself up to finally meet your lips.

But you barely responded.

You were slack-jawed, your clit swollen painfully, your hips swiveling to get more contact. Pathetic really, is what it was. Fred said few words of filth and here you were, panting and rutting, thanking whoever up there to have the opportunity to ride Fred's obscenely attractive thigh. A thigh shouldn't be this attractive you thought, his skin warm and comfortable, generous muscles teasingly helping you get off. Emphasis on teasingly, he wouldn't let you have anything that easily. It was heaven and hell all at once.

Fred was sensually tracing the outline of your mouth with his tongue all the while, then dipped down and feathered kisses on your jaw that was just as slow as his pace. "Fuck, you're so filthy for this. Who knew this is all it took?" he groaned.

"You have such a responsive cunt babe, I can do whatever I want and you just lose it. Fuck-"

You were growing more frustrated the second and Fred was getting rather talkative, he ran his nose down your collarbones, sucking the supple skin into his mouth and leaving crimson marks. "Freddie please - just, mmmh!" you cried out a strangled moan, you had finally gotten what you wanted. You knew Fred could never resist the nickname, and in such a tone too.

He had started to rub your clit, his other arm wrapping around the small of your back protectively. He groaned against your neck, sending shockwaves of pleasure trailing from your marked neck all down to your feet. But Fred wasn't stupid, he had caught on rather soon and chuckled.

"Bad girl." he mocked, then gave you a light smack on your ass, causing you to yelp and jump. You landed harshly on Fred's thigh again and the moan you let out was almost painful. You clutched onto his hair as he gripped your waist and continued to rock you on his thigh.

You let him guide your movement, your juices easily allowing you to slide yourself back and forth on him, and whenever Fred would pull you forward he would apply pressure on your clit by gripping your waist tighter and pushing you down. He fastened his pace with every grind, and every huff of air you let out when your hips would come in contact. "Oh fucking hell - yes," Fred heaved, your knee must've been grazing against his cock just right because he was letting out soft groans and curse words every other second, his hefty length visible behind the fabric.

You couldn't resist, he had such an attractive dick even after seeing it so many times. You started rubbing him from the outside of his boxers, digging the pads of your fingertips into his shaft whenever you could. Fred's head rested between the slope of your breasts, and his hips bucked up at your touch, rutting desperately into your fisted hand, causing you to loudly moan out when his thigh pressed on your swollen bud.

He was barely jutting your hips at this point, barely able to focus on your pleasure from the amount he was getting. Cocky attitude gone as soon as you touched him, you made him melt under your palm. "I love you so fucking much - ohhh...holy shit, keep rubbing me like that." he moaned against your skin, the intense vibrations making you shudder.

You started to move by yourself, quickly and desperately, your juices glazing the skin and soaking up your panties that was making it harder for you both. But it felt too good to stop and remove it, the heat in your core was growing and you closed your eyes to focus on the man that was letting out hot breaths between the valley of your breasts. His hand started playing with your nipple, squeezing it between his forefinger and thumb as the other gripped your waist and rocked you faster.

Your movement was getting sloppy, legs trembling and jerking whenever pressure was applied to your clit. You were whining the name of your lover, your voice almost pornographic. "Cum my love - fuck yes, cum all over me. Make a mess of me." Fred's hand left your nipple and guided your hips faster, the other pulling down on your thighs as you threw your head back. Fred started circling your clit to speed up your fast approaching release, but it wasn't even needed.

With a final, high pitched squeal, your vision went black, stars dancing around your lids. Your body shuddered violently, and you came hard all over his thigh. "You look so beautiful I-" Fred barely managed to let out before you gripped down his boxers and let his erection swing out. You wrapped your hand around the head and watched in amusement as pre-cum leaked out when you squeezed.

"What? Gonna milk me dry baby?" Fred chuckled darkly, his free hand running through his tousled hair while the other gripped and kneaded the side of your waist.

"I was hoping to do more than that, but for now..." you licked a long stripe up the base of his neck to the back of his ear, and bit. All the while, your hand started working around his painfully hard cock.  Fred was almost heaving now, unlike you who just recently came down from your mind blowing orgasm.

"I-...please, I wan't-" Fred gulped, and in the very rare moments he didn't know what to say. You started pumping his cock, the moment you squeezed him tighter he was coming.

"Fuck fuck fuck - ____!" Fred released all over your hand, his dick twitching beneath your fingers as he leaned his body on yours and let out strangled moans against your neck. You licked your fingers clean, then gently lifted Fred's chin. His eyes were slanted in a deep post-orgasmic daze, and you started to give him slow, wet kisses. "Look how good you taste." you whispered, swirling your tongue around his as he groaned into your mouth.

You were obsessed with how mesmerizing Fred looked. When he came, when he cried out whatever filthy thing came to mind, that blissful glow he had after orgasming. You wanted to repeat those moments over and over again, come with him yourself and touch yourself to his noises. And his taste, you could never get enough of it.

[dooodle-bug]

So! after all this time! i got my act together and finally got a good ref n stuff for my ghostsona! I now present to you: Harry! (basic info/extra art under cut)

-Harry, (otherwise known as the Schoolboy Ghost) he/him pronouns (genderfluid)

-chinese 14 y/o kiddo <3

-extremely shy and anxious, especially around others. however he enjoys reading books and doodling, its calming and he likes being alone in peace and quiet. Also a huge ass nerd. Despite being generally sweet and kind natured, he can be quite snarky if something is truly pissing him off or if he just wants to be alone

-Voice sounds very young-teenager-like. Kinda like steward in a way? but more immature and unsure kinda sounding-

-That gold star on his uniform is supposed to be a reference to the gold stars teachers give out to good students, as well as bc i didnt feel like making a fucking school crest or whatever-

-Was a private school student in a very prestigous sorta school. He was extremely successful n smart n all, however at one point the pressure and stress to maintain this streak got too much and he commit suicide by jumping off a building.

-Name is a reference to the fact that he is very Hairy, having a fucking mass of course, wild hair. He utilizes it by using it as storage space (ex, the elevator button)

-haunts floor xx, The Library, consisting of a spooky library, mazes of organized bookshelves, rows of old ass computers and desks and workstations, a lil lounge area, a lil storytime kids section, beanbags, front desk, etc.

-As Luigi navigates through the rows of shelves, acting as a giant maze with some Secret entrances n stuff, he eventually comes across the lil kids section, a corner with space for storytime, complete with shelves of childrens books and toys. Sitting in the middle of this area, is Harry, who appears to be happily drawing in a book, taking and putting away pencils from his hair

-When Luigi sees this, he is obviously scared, however determined to get that elevator button he noticed in his hair. When Harry notices him, he runs off, scared shitless

-the battle works where luigi needs to track the ghost down with the darklight, revealing he is possessing a bookshelf, which springs to life and proceeds to attack him, spitting books, paper airplanes, trash, etc. and also tryna body slam him. Luigi attacks by, when given the right moment to whip behind him, to plunger the back of the shelf and slam that mf

-when the bookcase is destroyed, he tumbles out, stunned and sucked by luigi, before managing to run off again and fade away, the process repeating again in a different area

-Once his hp is about 50ish, instead of running away from the broken shelf, he will retreat into a book, now bouncing around aggressively and quickly like an angry dog, leaping up and biting as well as spitting papers at him

-luigi defeats him by tiring him out and trying to flip him onto his side using that elevating vacuum move thing idk what its called, then he can plunger him and slam until the book is destroyed, then sucking him up once and for all for the elevator button

-In the lab, he is calmly sitting, drawing in a book

-Harry's extremely upset about his death, and makes up for it in the afterlife by spending his time studying/reading books (of free will), drawing, playing with toys, etc

-hes allowed to stay bc he manages the library, cleaning n organizing the place for others n all bc he finds it fun. also he helps with the hotel's finances and other problems from time to time too

annnnnnd thats all i got for now! thank u for reading and i hope you like him as much as i do hehe :o>

[emeraldvagabond]

If we're talking about retcons can we also please talk about how Tamlin was retconned too? I have a list™️(sorry this is gonna be long): in ACOTAR it’s a big point that Tamlin didn’t want to be a cruel tyrannical high lord like his dad. This is stated SEVERAL times, in fact Feyre falls for him because he's vehemently anti slavery (compare that to Rhys, who says the NC freed their slaves ONLY because they became hard to brainwash and make them forget about Velaris. Ew). 1/5

But in ACOMAF, he's ok with the tithe? Not that he shouldn’t collect taxes, but at the threat of DEATH??? Because “that’s how my dad did it?” What happened to not wanting to be cruel like his dad? In TAR he's kind enough where people keeping seeking refuge, and long before Amarantha comes, Lucien, despite having friends in many courts, CHOOSES to stay with Tam. And Lucien spends 90% of the book mocking Tamlin or challenging him. He even sets Feyre up with the suriel, fearing no repercussions despite Feyre being important in, uh, breaking their curse??? (and there aren’t any from Tam). But in MAF Lucien is afraid of Tamlin? In TAR, Tamlin offers to teach Feyre how to read and to help her write to her family, and the book also mentions that he teaches her how to ride bareback. But now in MAF he doesn’t want to help teach her her powers and in fact, forbids her from training? And most importantly… in ACOTAR, Tamlin notices Feyre's moods despite being very busy with, you know. Running his court. Fighting off Amarntha's monsters. All that stuff. But he still sees when she's sad. In fact, noticing she's upset is what leads to him writing her poems, to make her feel better. So am I really supposed to believe that he ignores her and becomes emotionally negligent in ACOMAF because “he's busy”? That he doesn’t see her feelings or try to help and console her when he does so several times in book 1? Retcon city. Sorry, this is so long, but I’m angry ranting and Tamlin was retconned sooo much in later books.

NONNY THIS IS LITERALLY A TAMLIN STAN ACCOUNT WE CAN TALK ABOUT HIS CHARACTER ASSASSINATION ALLLLLLLLLLLLL MF DAYYY. IT'S MY FAVORITE PASS TIME.

So really, the tithe, I understand, it's even stated that most of the money and things are for running the estate and the land, upkeep etc. I think a lot of people have the tendency to hear(or read) estate and think....a very large house, but that isn't the case. A Lord's estate isn't just his manor, but his workers, his land, the villages that are built on that land, the animals in those villages, and anything and everything in between. He is literally collecting money to put towards their quality of life. HOWEVER, THE THREAT OF DEATH?

I understand he's vulnerable to Ianthe's whims, because as i've said before, he's never had anyone to guide him through this whole Highlord thing that he never asked for, but that is SO MUCH of a stretch for his character. In TAR he tells Feyre that he's no good for anything but war and death, and fiddling, that he's no good at being Highlord and he's terrified of being his father. Every action he takes is consciously for the betterment of his people and their lives, to the best of his ability while under Amarantha's rule. To the point where Fae, including Alis, flee from Amarantha and the effects of her and Rhysand's actions to his court. And when they get there they all choose to stay. Alis and Lucien, two of the main people who we know are refugees in his court, have nothing but kind things to say of him. And like you said- Lucien challenges him and makes fun of him for being awkward and laughs and plays with him as brothers do without fear. Because Tamlin literally does not enforce rank in his court. He doesn't just say that once, it bleeds into every interaction he has with his people. On the Summer Solstice, he sits among the people and plays the fiddle and drinks and dances with Feyre, and leaves everything long enough to take her to watch the wisps until the dawn breaks. He gets on his knees just to play HER a song, right there in front of everyone. He doesn't hide his feelings behind any type of mask, and he doesn't worry about what his people will think because THAT IS THEIR HIGHLORD. Their Highlord is JUST Tamlin, nothing more, nothing less.

He doesn't even wear the fancy, decked-out clothes of a Highlord, because they aren't practical, and he's just Tamlin.

He's never too busy for what Feyre needs- sometimes he has work and he can't spend every waking moment with her, but she never wants for anything. Even when she is so desperately afraid for her sisters...she has no need to be because he's already taken care of everything they could ever want or need. AND NESTA KNOWS IT WAS HIM!!!!! And even after Feyre does....everything that she does, he STILL cares for her family. When her sisters become Fae, he STILL cares for their father right up until the moment he steps onto that battlefield.

I bet, if Elain wanted to return to that house and live out the rest of her days in silence in the mortal realms....he would probably fund it because that's just who he is!!!!

He lets himself be trapped in that snare Feyre lays for him- just to make her smile. Just to see her triumph. Because he knows that's what she needs at that moment. He offers to teach her to read, but it's too embarrassing for her, so he doesn't press. He offers to help her write letters home to her family, but she doesn't know what she would even want to say, so he doesn't press. He keeps her painting of the woods- of a time when she was starving, now, in a time where she is fed and clothed in finery because it reminds him that is not the only one who feels desolate and overwhelmed with responsibility that they never asked for.

And then in the end, despite all this, despite being desperately in love with her, because he is desperately in love with her...he sends her away. He sends her home, back to that estate, away from the danger even when she is supposed to be his savior. Because it's a burden she doesn't know she carries, because he would rather find a million other ways or suffer under a woman who has been obsessed with him since he was a child than see Feyre suffer.

And she comes back for him because she loves him. She loves the freedom he has given her, the ways he's set her free. She loves the Spring Court and the people there, she loves dancing at the summer solstice and a male who plays her solos in front of hundreds of people like he's offering a gift to the goddess.

And then....all of that was just? A show? A ploy? What? What was it? It doesn't make sense. Yes, he's desperately afraid, but the last time he was desperately afraid he let her go. The safest thing for her in book two would be training. Harnessing her new powers, learning who she is now, and what she isn't anymore. But nooo now, suddenly it's lock her up and put her on a shelf? Now it's, he has too much to do, stay here and not, he has so much to do, stay safe? It's no longer teaching her what she doesn't know it's....owning her? I'd say make it make sense but literally, no one can.

And it makes me mad.

[himbo-kuto]

i saw this screencap from the manga and knew IMMEDIATELY that i would have to write a lil headcanon of aone and his turtle. he is literally the most precious person who deserves the whole entire world.

i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it!

genre: fluff, wholesomeness, a whole baked bean, college!au pairing: aone x gn!reader word count: 2k warning: language

okay so you ended up being roommates with aone, futakuchi, and mai when you ended up transferring colleges last minute and needed housing

you saw that they had an empty spot and with time not being on your side, you decided to take the opportunity!! apt 205 squad!!

at first you kind of felt left out since they all knew each other from date tech but you soon warmed up to futakuchi since you had a few classes with him and mai because well-- you guys shared a room

HOWEVER!! one person you couldn’t seem to get close to was a man by the name of takanobu aone-- lemme tell u sumn about this Baked Bean

whenever you tried to interact with him, all he would do is 👁 👄 👁  or just Grunt in response

you were a bit discouraged because you thought he didn’t like you so you shied away from talking to him again :(

but futakuchi was quick to ensure you that was just his way of communicating and that he was actually really engaged in the conversation 

“oh yeah, he’s a great listener-- i talk to him for hours and he just sits and listens”

“ok futakuchi-san, but have you considered that you talk Too much for your own good?”

he gave you the finger for that one

but omg the first time aone Spoke to you????? rocked ur mf world-- what the Heck!!

you were in the mood to bake some cookies and were looking for the big mixing bowls but you just remembered that futakuchi used it to try and make a baking soda volcano 

why??? who knows but all you do know is that he put it ALL the way on the top shelf-- and for what????

but u know-- bein dumb as dirt u tried to use a swivel chair to try and reach for them

and of course it was all the way in the back like wtf curse these tall men-- 

and so you got on your tippy toes and right as you were about to reach it, Of Course the chair decided to turn 

and u were 🤏🏼 this close to eating shit but thanks to the one-- the only-- tol angel baby aone, he stopped the chair dead in its tracks just in time for you to regain your balance

“are you okay?”

you were so shook (one from almost breaking your face and two-- AONE JUST SPOKE AND SAVED YOU!!!) 

at first you just stood there blinking down at him with the bowls in your arms like hinata season 4, episode 15 - 15:37

he held up his arms to you and you blushed so hard because was he really about to carry you down????

but before your mind had anytime to roam, he pointed to the bowls and you realized with your real eyes that you were not the one to whom he was referring to 

it wasn’t long until you got over your initial iron wall with aone (…. 😏)  and he actually ended up being someone you hung out with on a regular basis

mai was always out studying for her practicals in the library while futakuchi… well.. who even knows what the heck that man is up to..

but ANYWAYS!! you guys would hang out mostly in the living room to watch TV, do homework and eat meals-- he always helped you with your math homework and you helped him with his architecture models!! 

you didn’t really know what he liked to watch but he didn’t seem to oppose whatever you had on-- however, you Did notice that whenever you put on volleyball he stared very intensely at the TV only stopping when commercials came on

aone Always ate your home cooked meals without fail

literally such a sweet and appreciative boy as opposed to futakuchi who would complain but one time aone gave him That Look™️ and he shut right the fuck up

that day forward futakuchi ate all your meals like a good boy

aone has also become very protective of you-- in high school, he may have locked onto the aces of the other teams, but in college he locked onto his close friends to make sure they were safe

one time you guys got onto a cramped bus to go grocery shopping and all it took was this creepo man to just Look at you the wrong way for aone to stand right in front of you and shoot this man a death glare that said “if you even think about touching her i’ll put you into the ground” 

HE MAY HAVE A HEART OF GOLD BUT DONT MESS WITH THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT OR ELSE IT’S HANDS 

but know this ladies, gents and my non-binary friends, we MOST DEFINITELY sit next to aone on the bus and engage in the best of conversations because tHATS WHAT THIS MAN DESERVES!!!!!!!!! 

not to mention all the times he has saved you due to your clumsiness and overall single brain cell fueled activities 

one fateful day you were sitting in the living room as you saw aone come home with a whole bag of groceries

he didn’t put them into the communal fridge so you were a bit confused as to why he took them straight into his room

you weren’t one to just bust in there to try and find out so later when you guys were eating dinner you asked him what he bought at the store

he listed off a bunch of produce and then said that they were for his turtle!!!!

you were all !!?!?!??? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 TURTLE?????? WHERE??? HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN HERE??? CAN I SEE THEM?

he goes on to tell you that he’s had the turtle ever since they all moved in!! but it never came up in conversation so you never knew until now

him and futakuchi rescued the turtle but when they tried to let them go, they didn’t go anywhere so they kept them!! 

so after dinner you both quickly washed the dishes, and he brought you into their room to show you his turtle

you were honestly a bit nervous going into their room-- like what were you to expect??? was it going to be messy?? stinky?? clean??? were there any secrets????

but to your surprise it was fairly clean and simple-- even futakuchi’s side (which you assumed was aone’s doing)

you looked around his room to find all these old pictures of date tech on the wall, many of them with futakuchi and mai

there was even a photo of all the third years clinging to aone like koalas on a tree and though his expression was faint, you could tell that he was happy

it warmed your heart to see that he got along with his teammates and held these memories close to him-- they accepted him for who he was and that was more than enough for you

he also had plethora of architecture books on his shelves which made you wonder why he picked that major in the first place

but you shrugged it off as you looked over to his desk

there was a table next to it with an enclosure and a cute little turtle sunbathing underneath a lamp inside

you scurried over to the tank, getting down on your knees to get eye level with the animal while you slowly brought your face to the glass  

the turtle was half curled into its shell, looking up at you as he gave you a slow blink

you could’ve sworn you felt your heart explode and melt all at once in that Exact moment

you looked up at aone with 🥺 eyes before looking back to reptile to see them poking their head out to fully greet you 

you squealed internally as you wiggled your finger as your salutations

“do they have a name?” 🥺 

“ichigo-desu...” (strawberry)

you thought your heart exploded before?????????????

oh bitch you felt like you were about to go into full blown cARDIAC ARREST MY G O D!!!!!!

“did futakuchi name them?”

“no i did…”

you literally hunched over, and leaned onto the desk for support as your heart was filled with his soft boy energy because there was no wAY!!! DID AONE JUST NAME THIS TURTLE ICHHHIGOOOO BITCHHH AHHH

but lowkey aone was also being filled with your soft energy and got all blushy-- but thank god you were too occupied by his turtle to notice

“do you want to feed him a strawberry? it’s his dinner time too”

you could not have said yes faster to this man 

he went into his personal fridge and there you saw all the groceries he had earlier that day!! he pulled out a single strawberry before handing it over to you

he walked over to the tank and cautiously pulled out ichigo before placing them on the ground

HOWEVERRRRRR!! what came next you didn’t expect at all

he walked around so that he was behind you, gingerly reached for your hand and guided you to hold the strawberry out for ichigo 

ichigo craned their neck in the sight of the fruit and started chowing down

and by God you hoped that aone could not hear your loud ass heartbeat and see your red ass face-- (you were surprised that ichigo wasn’t going after you since your face might as well have been a strawberry)

you two sat in a comfortable silence as you watched the little reptile enjoy his dinner 

as ichigo drew closer to the leafy bit, you wanted to ask aone if he was allowed to eat that part 

so you turned your head to the side to speak but immediately closed your mouth as aone’s face was only centimeters away from yours 

you thought you were red back then???? bitch buckle up cause we’re reaching a new LEVEL of red

at that moment you were no think, no thought, head EMPTY as you just stared at his profile 

all of his features were strong... the bridge of his nose, his jawline, his expression-- he himself was a strong man and you just wondered how all this soft, fluffy, wholesomeness was packed into this 192cm man

and just as you relaxed into this position

FUTAKUCHI BUSTS THROUGH THE DOOR WITHOUT ANY KIND OF WARNING JUST TALKIN OUT OF HIS ASS 

at first he’s so absorbed into his own conversation that he doesn’t even notice you guys in that position

but when he does??? it’s like those moments in animes where you’re all chibitized and you just have circle eyes and a blank expression o_o

you IMMEDIATELY come to your senses, releasing the rest of the strawberry and aone’s hand

if you could peace fade in this moment, you would’ve definitely flashed futakuchi a duces

but alas, you could not..

so you scrambled to your feet-- but not before thanking aone for letting you meet his turtle-- and RAN out TF of that room heart a BEEATTINN

from that day on, you visited aone and his turtle a lot more-- even going so far as buying things for ichigo!!

“hey aone-san, did ichigo like the squash i cooked?”

“mm.”

“hey aone-san, does ichigo like the new hide?”

“mm.”

“look aone-san! he can’t grip onto the cherry tomato!! it keeps rolling around!”

“mm.”

many of your conversations went along like that and he always appreciated the amount of effort you put into them

he wasn’t a man of many words but did his best to make sure you knew that he was listening and engaged

at one point mai and futakuchi said that “he has spoken more words to you in these past few months than he has with us in 3 years”

you were surprised but also flattered by the fact that aone was comfortable enough to open up and have conversation with you 

although it was a bit of a rough patch in the beginning, you were glad that you became a part of the 205 squad! it was you, aone, futakuchi, mai and ichigo against the world!!

[zdux]

LMAO WAIT Y'KNOW ABOUT THE HOT SPEAKER MAGICIAN RIGHT?! SO WHAT IF READER MEETS A HOT MF AND FREAKS OUT THE SAME WAY AND ALUCARD IS ALL LIKE: >:( CAUSE HE A SIMP FOR READER BUT THEY DON'T KNOW CAUSE THEY'RE OBLIVIOUS AS MY ASS ANYWAYS THANKS KING LOVE YOU MWAH

Dear god,,, you fucking simp. You still need to read the FUCKING MANGA YOU PROMISED TO READ IN EXCHANGE FOR ME WRITING THIS YOU FUCKASS!!! But yeah,, I'll do it,, and I'll make it a fic too you CHEAP WHORE!! Mwah, <3

Post Production Note: FUCK YOU I found this guys name WAY to easy on the wiki

Fic Prompt: Y/N is traveling with Trevor when he helps the Speaker magicans in season 1. When they go back to their temporary home in Gresit, they also end up bringing along the cute male speaker who was opposed to Trevor getting involved. (His name is Arn) This then forms a strange and slightly misshapen love triangle, ft Alucard being the simp he is. Now, after saving Gresit, the troupe of fools is headed to the Belmont family home.

I can't believe I'm writing an entire fic about a character who is in two episode and has less than 10 lines

"I still think you're full of shit Belmont." Arn remarked after watching his family's caravan fade into the distance. Neither he or Sypha had been away from their family before, and Arn wasn't doing a very good job at covering up his nerves.

"Oh? And what makes you think that?" Trevor said, glancing over his shoulder with a smug look on his face. Arn's nose scrunched up, anger written all over him.

"What makes me think that?! You really think I have any cause to believe you intend to return Sypha and I safely back to our family after this is all over?! She is like a sister to me, and yet you treat everyone around you like shi-!" Before he could finish off his sentence, he was swiftly cut off by Sypha's hand on his mouth. She sighed, keeping her hand on his mouth until she finished her statement.

"Look, I understand you are stressed, I am too, but you need to respect Trevor. Please, calm down, shut up, and use your head."

As she took her hand down, Arn shot a glare to Trevor, but quietly retreated to the back of the group. Y/N and Alucard had been watching this from a few feet away, and welcome the angry man to the back of the pack.

"Well," Alucard began, "That didn't go as planned." Arn attempted to shoot him a dirty look, but his eyes connected with Y/N's first, a look of concern written all over their face. He ignored Alucard, instead going to stand by them.

"Hey, are you alright?" Y/N asked, worried for the speaker. Arn sighed, his shoulders sinking with his breath.

"I'm worried. I have never been away from my family before, and Sypha is all I feel I have right now. It makes me nervous not to have the safety of my home, so I lash out in anger when I am afraid." He began, continuing on throughout the journey with his ramblings. As the night progressed, the conversation traveled on to happy topics, darker topics, fun ones, sad ones, and so on and so forth. Though all 5 of the travelers talked, Arn, Y/N, and Alucard stayed slightly back from the group, talking amongst themselves the most.

This pattern continued night after night as the group made their way to the Belmont family home. Since the groups size had quadrupled since Trevor started out, traveling became more of struggle, as all 5 of them attracted much more unwanted attention than just a single person. It stretched out, taking weeks instead of days. Many nights went by where a single member of the group went unrested, others where they switched off, whatever it took to stay safe.

The trip relaxed when they finally arrived at the Belmont hold. With the 5 of them, they were able to repair more of it's defenses faster, allowing them to properly make somewhere to stay within the bunker. Beds were made, a cooking station was set up, as well as a proper door that didn't involve magic for them to get in and out of.

Y/N sighed, sitting down on a makeshift bed. They had enjoyed the journey, but it was hard on everyone, especially since the worst was soon to come. They began taking off their boots, then their belt, weapon, armor, and more. Arn approached them as they undressed.

"Hey, are you alright?" He said, sitting down next to them.

"Yeah, I will be. It's been hard getting here, you know? We've fought so many night creatures, saved so many villages, broken too many bones, it's just a lot. But that's not what matters. All of us are still here, and we still have one and another." Y/N smiled, resting a hand on Arn's without thinking.

Arn took said hand in his, planting a soft kiss on top of it.

"You are right. We do have each other. I thought I lost all family I had when I left that caravan, but I was wrong. I found you." He said, with honesty in his voice clear as day. Y/N blushed, surprised at how forward he was being.

While Y/N attempted to find something to say to Arn, Alucard had already thought of something, quite a few things actually. He was pouting, standing across the room with a book in his hands. He knew that Arn had been trying to get you alone for some time now, as both of them were competing for you affections. Each night they had argued as to who got to sleep that night, solely because they didn't trust the other to be alone with you should you wake up. Somehow they managed to be civil to each other while you were around to notice, but the moment you turned away they were at each other's throats.

"Pouting again, Alucard?" Sypha said as she put books back shelf he was hiding behind.

"Pouting? I am not pouting. I am simply, observing." He said, adjusting his shoulders and hair in an attempt to hide his disdain.

"You don't have to pretend to like him just because he is part of my family. You may be an only child, so you wouldn't know the hate a sibling can cause." She said.

"You are siblings?" He asked, finally turning his gaze to look at Sypha.

"No, don't actually, but we speakers are raised like one big family. Everyone born in a similar time is raised like a group of siblings." She informed him as she placed her final book on the shelf, turning to look at him.

"You didn't like Trevor when we met, and you did like Arn, now it seems the tables have turned. It's obvious to everyone but them, and maybe Trevor, as to why you are acting like this, but what are you going to do about it?" Sypha asked him, putting him on the spot.

His face grew red as blood rushed to it, causing him to cover it with his hand. He turned back to look at you again, noticing how Arn was no where to be seen as you tucked yourself into bed.

"I don't know what I am to do, but I do know what I want." He whispered.

The END motherfucker! I honestly rushed this, it only took me like an hour and I feel like I wasted some time in the middle, but Alucard is SEXY and fun to write so ENJOY THIS. MWAH!!!!

[yoichichi]

Bunny’s 200 follower event

request: hi hi!! i just saw ur matchups event and i’m super excited... also idk if i’m doing this right 👀 but uh could i have 2 hq matchups? ☺️ i’m a cancer and most likely an infj! i am pretty loyal to people i’m close eith, but otherwise, i’m kinda quiet and closedoff with others. i’m also pretty sensitive and empathetic when i can be 😖 oh! and uhh some of my hobbies include journaling, crocheting, and hiking/walking. now, as for a s/o, i really admire determined and thoughtful people!! (part one ⛈) (part two ⛈) i also like people who are on the more quiet side, but ngl, i love people with a bunch of energy too... so i mean, i could go either way 😅 and uhh i would NOT like a partner who is too cold or insensitive... or anyone who is too immature 😳 oh, some things i didn’t mention before: i’m kinda short (barely 5’2”) and uhh yeah idk if that means anything loll 👀 anyways that’s it :D tysm!! congrats on 200!! 💕

a/n: I’m happy you’re excited!! And don’t worry you did do this right lol! Thank you and I hope you enjoy! I’m also officially adding you as ⛈ anon so this will be easier for you to track :) hello ⛈ anon okok enjoy lol

Warnings: slight timeskip spoilers!

Reading your request, you have been matched with...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Sugawara Koushi

Ok so hear me out, YES he’s a Gemini and yes you’re a cancer but this is so perfect on all other levels

This mf has to be one of the most determined and thoughtful people I know

Not to mention I think he’s the perfect balance of quiet but also energetic! And he has company that match both so he’s able to match your energy any day of the week

He’s also not quiet in a boring way ya know?

He will tease you lovingly, but in private cause he doesn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea that they can tease you too or something

He’s also mature in a genuine way, like understanding of other people’s perspectives type mature

Not that faux I’m a dude type mature

Ok anyways onto your relationship

He will shamelessly ask for a crocheted scarf, mittens, and sweater

And he WILL wear them

They can be a set or not doesn’t matter his heart might actually burst if you give him anything of yours that you’ve crocheted

Pls he has a scarf you made him when it starts getting colder outside and one day a kid in his class asked about it and he was so 🤩

It took everything in him not to talk about you and your scarf all day

He simply told them his spouse made it for him and yes every kid immediately wanted one ☝🏼

Your loyalty and dedication to the relationship would mean a lot to him and he’d always be doing his best to show you he is just as dedicated

I feel like he’d do that like trying out your hobbies with you!

He’d totally sit and let you teach him how to crochet and then try his best to make you a scarf it does fall apart the first try and it does defeat him a little but boy is DETERMINED to make you a mf scarf

Ok I’m sorry enough with the crocheting LMAO

He’d love taking afternoon walks with you!

I could totally see you guys taking a little walk around the block or at a nearby park after you’re both off work and just catching up with your days and then making dinner when you two get home

They’re the highlight of his day :)

His students would know probably so much about you LMAO

You bring him lunch ONCE and you didn’t realize his kids would be still be in the classroom and they’re immediately bombarding you, they are also calling you by your first name LMAO

“Hi (y/n)~~~!”

“Oh my gosh can you please~~ make me a scarf!”

“Yeah me, too!”

“Wait wait look what I made you!”

It’s a stick figure drawing of what you think is you and suga on a piece of construction paper that’s your favorite color, why suga told them that you don’t know

Your hair is also rainbow because, they’re children LMAO

And Suga’s just standing there like 🧍🏼‍♂️

But it’s very sweet and it warms your heart to know that he’s always thinking of you :)

Your vibe reminds me of...

Another suitable match for you would be...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Akaashi Keiji

He’s a bit quieter than Suga for sure, but with the company he keeps - I mean cmon Bokuto? - he’s CLEARLY ok with being energetic or at the very least being around energetic people

Ok with akaashi you’re not getting rid of Bokuto let’s address that first, you’ve just gained a new bestie

He is ALWAYS fawning over you two when you’re all together

Candid vids of you guys are basically all his private snapchat story is at this point

He’s really your biggest fan it’s so sweet, allbeit overbearing at times but he means well ❣️

I’m sorry,... I’m bringing up crocheting again...

If you crochet akaashi anything you have to make a second one because Bokuto will want one too I’m sorry LMAO

SOmtimes he doesn’t fully grasp that not everything involves him in the relationship, he just loves y’all

He wouldn’t cross boundaries though he’s not like that :)

Ok moving on from Bokuto LMAO

You two are that quiet, really gorgeous couple that scares people asjdkskajs

Like seeing you two together in public and you’re both so quiet but OBVIOUSLY love each other with the way you’re so physically close in proximity and the way you keep looking at each other

You two communicate with just your eyes ALL the time, like y’all will basically have full on conversations

You’ll be tired and want to go home to cuddle, and you’ll just look at Akaashi and the two of you will exchange a few glances before nodding your heads and your walking out hand in hand bye

It scares Bokuto

Anyway

PINKY HOLDING

I do see him as a big hand holder in public but he’s also insecure about his hands :(

So I feel like he’d have a habit of holding your hand and then letting go soon after when he gets insecure, and lord help him if his hands are clammy oh no

But you’d be so !!! No let me hold it!!

So you’d just latch onto his pinky one day when he goes to pull his hand away and just share a look

So now pinky hand holding is the norm

Ok he’s the kind of guy who would lowkey like how short you are

Like it’s perfect for cuddle dates

His fav is to lay in bed with you in between his legs and your leaning against his chest, and he’ll rest his chin on top of your head or just hold you there in general while you watch movies on his laptop

Your height is just so convenient for him

Also lowkey loves having to grab things off the top shelf for you and won’t change his habit of putting things up there so he can still grab them for you

One time tho he came into the kitchen to see you climbing onto the counter to grab something from the top shelf and he thought it was cute at the time until he had a bad dream that night about you falling and getting hurt somehow absjskakjdjd

Suddenly things are a bit easier to reach around the house...

Also a guy who loves walks :) early morning ones to school were his favorite cause they always started his day off ~right

Your vibe reminds me of...

I hope you liked this!!! I’d love to hear your thoughts! Good day ⛈ anon!

Requests are open until February 26th 8:00 pm PST

-🐇out

[imagines4undertale]

Would you be comfortable with writing abt the skele comforting and caring for his s/o during their period? I had mine today and god do i hate this reality Its tots cool if youre not but if you are could you write for mf sans (brass) ?

Yeah, I don’t mind writing about this bucco. Take some medicine and I hope you feel better! 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Brass is not going to know a whole lot about humans before he meets you. They were never really something he thought about until he started dating the cutest one of all. It took some time for you to chip down his walls and for him to let you see his softer side, but eventually you two found that you had fallen for each other. After you had agreed to be his girl, Brass had moved you into a nicer apartment complex that many of the other members of the Underground Mob were in to keep you safe. You had been dating about half a year and Brass decided to come surprise you on your day off with some wine, flowers, and a date night dinner to celebrate and maybe have some fun after. He knocks on your door and calls your name through the door. Normally, you would call back to him in a sing-song voice before opening the door to launch a hug at him. He waited a moment, then two, then five. Finally the door creaked slowly open to reveal you looking a little pale, shakey, and generally in a bit of pain. You looked to his eyes with a tired, weak, little smile and greeted him. Brass was honestly about a second away from just scooping you up and carrying you back to the bed you clearly just crawled from. You looked awful. 

“hun... are you feeling alright?” He slowly walked around you into the apartment and hung his hat and coat on a hanger by the door and placed his gifts for you on a nearby shelf. You nod and tell him it's your time of the month with a shrug. Your skeletal lover just stares at you for a moment with a quirked brow. There is a moment of silence before you turn a little red. You ask Brass if he knows what you’re talking about.

“i can’t say that i do suga’, is it a human thing?” He’s started to take his shoes off and sweeps an arm under your legs to lift you into his arms. You make an uncomfortable face at the sudden shift in your sides and make a low groan. Brass flinches and looks like he just kicked a puppy before asking, “suga’ are you okay? did i hurt ya? should i put ya down?” 

You shake your head and tell him to just take you back to your bed so you can explain in a comfortable position. And explain you do. You tell Brass about you predicament and why it happens, including why it was so bad today as you generally did better when you move and stay busy. To his credit, Brass keeps a mostly straight face about everything, only really showing concern and gently rubbing your side or running a hand through your hair. Once you finish Brass just pulls you up to his chest and kisses your head. 

“i’m sorry your feelin’ so lousy love. i’m guessin’ you probably don’t wanna go anywhere, so how’s about this.” He pulls away slightly and flashes a golden smile down at you. “i’m gonna pop over to the store, get you anything you want, and in the meantime you’s are gonna take a nice hot shower and get all comfy ok?” 

You agree and he pulls you up into a soft, sweet kiss. The rest of your day is filled with the salty and sweet snacks of your choice, warm magically charged back rubs, and more kisses than you can count.

(If you can, please leave a comment with your thoughts on my writing)

[sondpyo]

𝙮𝙤𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

a/n: y’all this is literally my first writing :// sorry ig it’s shitty oop whatever I will do a x1 boyfriend line just bcs i really want a bf rn and x1 are my emotional support kpop boys 🥺 iF you have requests then please just request !!!!! 🤭 whatevs have fun reading this and stream flash 😎

warnings: ,,,,cursing

yohan

yes

he looks really intimidating ngl and his taekwondo shit doesn’t make it better

but like,,, he’s a baby ????

he also likes to be babied u cant tell me shit like hug him, kiss him, pinch his cheeKS MAKE HIM FEEL LOVED

but before

let’s go back to where it all started : )

you and yohan actually met in a coffee shop u were working at

so one day this like tall dude came in and ordered an americano with some typa cake idk honestly

and hes like sitting down

and thats when he saw YOU

he immediately went 👀

you were casually picking up some cups and plates customers have left on the tables

and like u just felt someone was looking at you you just did

so you turned around

sUPRISE

yohan was still like 👀

so you were like ???why that mf staring at me???

his brain took about 10 seconds to process that u were staring back so it went ABORT MISSION !

he turned around quickly

you furrowed ur brows and just shrugged it off like u see weird people walking in here daily

but he was kinda cute tho,,, and u don’t see cute weirdos walk in here daily

when u went back to the counter ur co worker was like bring that shit to that guy

and u were looking at THAT guy

sUPRISE 2.0 it was yohan

so you went there and gave him his things

thats when

„ so do you come here often. ????"

„sir I work here"

„oh"

so you were just like "do you need anything else?"

and he got really shy after saying that so he just answered with a no, thank u and turned around in embarrassment

and a little smile creeped up ur lips

because he was CUTE cute

but you were kinda shy too so whAT SHOULD YOU DO

so you just left

yea

he visited the shop more often

thats when you found out he actually goes to the same college as you

so u were both talking and he finally asked for ur number

this leads to date nr. 1

absolute chaos

he wanted to actually take you out in a fancy restaurant but they somehow didn’t have his name on the guest list

so y’all went outside and it actually started raining

so yall ran to his car

and just when yohan thought he literally fucked up everything

you started smiling

and he was like huh ???

so you were like

"well ur plan didn’t go that well I guess"

he scoffed and put both of his hands onto the steering wheel

he was really confused at first but then thought that you were making fun of him which u kinda were but he doesn’t have to know 🤡

but then you suddenly said "how about we buy a family pizza and go watch a movie or something“ and nudged his shoulder with your ellbow

you know he wanted the date to be perfect and that he was probably sad it didn’t go well

and that kinda touched you because he was really trying hard

after that date you unfortunately went on another and on another and on another one

and you were slowly falling for him and his charms

not only was he opening up to you a lot

showing his funny and entertaining side

he also started realizing that he didn’t have to hide his true self from you

like he wanted to tell you a dad joke? he justfucking went for it

since then he decided

that ur his wifey 😎

so y’all have been dating for 2 years now

and in those 2 years you learned a lot about yohan

boi is shy but loves skinship

cuddling in each and every second? yes

u want a kiss? lmAo here you have 100

like he just loves showering you with love

and showering with you (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

( i sincerely apologize )

ne wa ys

he really likes holding your hand

and he has that habit of playing with ur fingers when he’s nervous

at first you weren’t like used to so much skinship

but over the years it just kinda grew on you and you were just like meh

and he loves teasing you about your height and everything

he just has to put things onto the highest shelf just so he can watch you struggle

he also loves saying things to you infront of his friend just to make you blush and watch you hide in embarrassment

well,,,, his friends

your biggest enemy is hyeongjun

one of yohan‘s best friends

it’s just an ongoing fight between you two about his attention

„listen her u poodle ass looking rat, yohan is MY boyfriend"

„who are you calling poodle ass rat you look like a recycled tana mongeau"

and ur both like 😡😡😡

so yohan is usually like don’t fight,,,,enough yohan for everyone 😎

and you‘re literally like you can keep him hyeongjun

((you and hyeongjun are actually really good friends don’t worry))

soooo

yohan also loves to give neck kisses

if your neck is in sight

hes like mwah 👄

and you act like you don’t like thEm

but we all know you do

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

the only thing is that whenever your hanging out with his friend group and he does that

everyone goes like we haAVE MINORS IN HERE

because strangely one of his friends is a 14 year old tall ass bitch that’s still going through puberty ((dohyon why u so tALL))

but friendship has no age I guess ???

he always goes to his hyungs for advice tho because what kinda advice will he get from some kids going through puberty

eunsang in the back: 😤

and seungwoo always helps him with his situations

while seungyoun just says stuff like smaSh Her !

yes seungyoun sweetie ur doing amazing

you both fighted once

where u realized that he actually looks really intimidating like you were genuinely scared of him for a second

and you‘re both kinda hot headed

so it turned out with him taking his jacket and leaving your apartment

yes,,,, a mess

you dIDNT talk to each other for two days until you phone dinged

and you were like !!!

but

hyeongjun🤥: why y’all ain’t talking

and you told him and he’s like you should just go to him like this bitch is dumb we been knew and for the first time ever you bonded with hyeongjun

so you pressed the button of his doorbell

and yohan opened the door looking all sad

he expected his food to be here

but then he saw you and he just hugged you like honestly ???? he missed you :(

so fighting with him usually lays down after 1-3 days

depends

okay but

yohan is a really good listener

like hes a jokster and everything

but when you‘re sad or upset and need to talk to someone he’s always there for you

it doesn’t matter if it‘s about a test you failed or even about the girl in your class that always gives you deadly looks

like when ur sad he usually just caresses your head/hair

and he tries make you laugh again

because he hates seeing you like that,,,you‘re his baby >:( he doesn’t want you to be sad

he eventually also buys food because he just knows that food calms you down the most

so when ur happier shoving down food ur throat than u were in his arms hes like :[ (y’all know that face)

whatevs

you and yohan have a healthy relationship

and you appreciate it a lot

because he isn’t only your boyfriend but also your best friends

so that mEanS pyjAMA PARTIES HELL YE

usually you both just chill on the coach with your pjs on and you put a face mask onto his face

„this thing burns"

„don’t be a pussy"

„you‘re literally putting acid on my face and you‘re telling me I shouldn’t be a pussy“

u usually watch Netflix after

well only you

becAUSE your beloved boyfriend is always trying to get your attention with either whining or kissing you

and sometimes he just succeeds

like the few pecks turn into making oUt

and the making oUt leads to

we all know what

the netflix movie is forgotten by now sorry sweetie

since sometimes both of you are too lazy to go to ur bed bcs ur busy duH? u fall asleep on the couch so often you both wake up in the next morning by either you or yohan falling off it eventually

i don’t make the rules, gravity does

we should come to an end

yohan is a really protective boyfriend

and he would use his taekwondo skills on anyone and everyone that comes near you

well

only when he senses danger and shit bcs he can’t just double turn fly kick hangyul away just bcs he wanted to greet you with a hug

but yes: very protective

loves you

he really does

he doesn’t care about any girl walking past him except junho but that’s another story // like his eyes are always on you and you only + junho 👀

people envy your relationship a lot

mostly girls watching him taking care of you so well

becAUSE he does care about you a lot

so be dAmn grateful

becAUSE yohan is a once in a lifetime man

and he eventually even hopes to marry you one day

so 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[thrumples]

SPN S15 Live-blogging: Episode 1

spoilers under the cut

- i’m only on the intro. what the FUCK is up with this editing?? - it’s just zooming in on people’s faces with this fuckin wack song playing in the bg - this makes the s14 finale look like a joke - ok here we actually go - 1:49– it opens on jack’s burnt out eyes that’s fucking disgusting - 1:55– im sorry i really can’t take this seriously with this song asfkskskshsdhskskjlsh - 2:40– bro wtf how strong is cas?? he just Yoinked jack’s body up off the ground with like no effort - man i. i really can’t take this shit seriously with this song - 3:13– ok we finally got to the intro. i actually kinda like this title card, it’s very glowy - 3:30– askfhsks these zombies are just. Striding right up to the crypt door. no dramatic stumbling or anything they’re literally just walking. they are making some neat zombie noises tho - i miss when this show used to be good - 4:27– i forgot to turn my subtitles on until now and then was smacked in the face with “cass” - 5:31– what is up with this random camera zooming - 5:54– dean stop shouting - i got so used to the wonderful writing of good omens that i got kinda knocked off my feet here with how much this show has gone downhill - 7:02– WOAH HANG ON HANG HANG ON JACK WTF ARE YOU DOING - “hello!” BRUH IM LOSING IT - he’s a DEMOn AKDHAJSGSNSISGAKHSKBSKH - 8:01– “my name is Belphegor” bruh WHAT is going ON - “you’re an abomination with that stupid dumb trench coat” he’s not wrong the olive green makes him look terrible - 8:35– those sunglasses, i can’t take him seriously in those sunglasses man - 9:50– *angrily* “we are not twinsies” i really didn’t think i’d hear cas say that - bel looks like he just came back from the area 51 raid - 11:10– oh they’re all dead! fun - 11:38– bruh that transition i can’t even deal with this goddamn show anymore - 11:52– this is not how regular teenage girls talk to each other - 11:56– tHats not how cellphones work either - 12:16– “divorce is awesome” - 12:43– when did this show start getting worse? i think it was season 6 - it certainly keeps getting even worse - i feel like i’m watching riverdale - also what’s up with all these disney ads - 13:48– the subtitles call him Bel and since i can’t remember or pronounce his actual name that’s the only way i’m gonna refer to him from now on - 14:42– ooh! red paint! - 14:48– whoever is in charge of the music for this show should be fired - 15:22– AW HELL YEAH WOMAN IN WHITE WE GOIN BACK TO THE PILOT EPISODE BABEY - 15:46– why does jared constantly look like he’s about to start crying - 16:17– that is a BIG ASS GARAGE - 17:00– i feel like that kid should be freaking out a whole lot more than she actually is - like she’s just kinda crying, if i was in that situation i would be curled up in a ball on the floor screeching - 17:31– this feels like a car ad - 17:45– sir please stop snarling you’re making me uncomfortable - also is he wearing a sock on his head? - 18:25– well fuck that i guess we don’t get to see what happens - 18:54– crowley jr - 19:53– can bel, like,,,, see? he doesn’t have eyes but he saw dean put the gun away,,, - 20:10– “so people are like, crazy good-looking now, huh?” bel you’ve just become my new fav demon - 20:19– dean that was the exact same reaction i had - 20:46– is bel bi - 21:15– “he was our kid” - idek what i wanted to write for that i just wanted to put that down - 21:53– yknow sam most people don’t like it when you just. open their doors and come in with a shotgun - also why are these people leaving their doors unlocked - 22:07– these houses are extremely cookie-cutter, they have the same furniture and everything - also wtf is up with these random pulsating noises i can’t tell if it’s supposed to be a heartbeat or not - 22:37– oh look more red paint - wait is this the house with the sockhead clown? - 23:04– so the ghosts just kinda. only showed up in this one specific town huh - don’t some of them have relics that they’re supposed to be attached to? - also this is completely off track but uhh WHO REMEMBERS THAT GHOST FROM SEASON 1 THAT THEY TRAPPED IN THE SEWER BUT NEVER KILLED?? BC THAT MF IS STILL FUCKIN THERE - 23:22– bloody mary just looks like she’s wearing a shitty Party City costume - 23:53– bruh how did those two get up onto that shelf in the time before the clown got into the garage?? - also how long have they been up there?????? - OH SHIT THE CLOWN i definitely didn’t see this coming - /s - 24:36– oh shit sam actually got cut - also quit singing dude you’re off-key - 24:47– AYY CAS COMIN IN TO SAVE SAM’S ASS - hang on my subtitles stopped working - 25:22– “move your exquisite ass Please” - 25:45– oh we got s4 references - 26:30– “wait every door? even the cage?” WHAT - WAIT HANG ON - THAT MEANS - ADAM!!!!!! - 27:07– alright cas i’m pretty sure you just completely shifted this woman’s spirituality - 27:30– sam you can’t just talk about shooting god in front of other people - 28:00– uhhhh eXcuse mE was that DEMON SAMMY - sam: receives a mortal wound that contains properties he’s never seen before - also sam: “i’m fine” - 28:43– oh no something’s about to happen to this poor sheriff - 28:48– I HATE IT WHEN IM RIGHT - 29:27– goddamnit what is up with these stupid pulsating noises?? - bel: sees dead body - bel: “cool” - also i’ve gotten the same migrane medication ad like three times while watching this - 30:05– i guess you could technically call this town a ghost town now - 30:54– lmao that throw looked Super fuckin fake - 31:01– *menacingly shimmies toward ghost with shotgun* - 31:03– “it’s okay, it’s just one ghost” how do i know that something’s gonna grab that kid and drag her right into that pond - 31:26– ASJSHSKHJSYBKSJSK cas just looks so pissed off about being shot - 31:40– local demon thinks he can deter a spirit by saying “bad ghost” - 32:16– well technically i was wrong and right bc something came out of the pond but it grabbed the mom - also is this kid okay? - 32:36– bel says “anime” - 34:14– hey sam maybe you should check how many shotgun shells you have left before you try to take on 4 ghosts at once - better yet why don’t you RUN OVER THE LINE WHERE THEY CAN’T KILL YOU - 35:02– ghost: *screams in sam’s face bc it’s mad that it’s stuck* - sam: “shut up” - my video quality just hella dropped in the middle of an ad break i hope this doesn’t last - nvm it’s cause i’m on the wrong internet lmao hang on a sec - 36:23– why does no one let cas do anything - 36:38– are they about to kiss - 36:45– nope dean just wanted to be a dick - bel says what we’re all thinking - 37:48– can we like. make sam get an x-ray or something to see if the bullet is still in his arm - 37:58– dean you are spilling that disinfectant All over the car trunk - 39:04– dean’s getting existential - 39:52– sam: “for the first time, it’s just us” - cas: do i look like a joke to you - also i think my subtitles are broken - 40:46– AYY MORE PILOT FLASHBACKS

final thoughts: that was,,, kind of a lot better than i thought it would be? the first ten minutes were kinda shit but then Bel showed up and absolutely made my day

[estie-ellie]

this is a super extra fragmented story for my OC damien that i am trying to gift to katey, so if you see this katey, DON’T LOOK everyone else, if you’d like to give me feedback that’s cool.. i guess i’ll post my story notes first so if you care to read you’ll know what the section is for????

so, this started out as a final retelling of how my oc damien and katey’s oc maggie met. we’ve rp’d serveral iterations and i wanted to make one final thing, but as i went through the intro i began on another story i’ve wanted to tell. so the story beats are:

damien leaves for chicago because something is murdering enforcers and seekers in his territory

when he gets there to begin investigating he comes across a crytpid scary ass mf and it emits a sort of “deafening” sound; damien can’t read minds anymore, a talent that has never faltered. 

he continues his search and it leads him to an underground trafficking ring of the most exotic Specials and humans.

He comes across Maggot as he investigates and (I haven’t figured the logistics of this yet) somehow takes her into his custody, being plagued by the same deafness the other monster he came across had.

when another murder happs with maggie in damien’s custody, he begins to dive deeper into the whole mess, finally trusts maggie, but ultimately uncoveres an even worse blight on his territory and that’s all i got folks 

In every heart there is a room, 

A sanctuary safe and strong,  To heal the wounds from lover’s past,  Until a new one comes along.

The family all knew the story of the day Damien saved Maggot. In more vivid detail than the reality, quite possibly. Yet, what the family lacked in understanding of the fabled adventures was the days and the weeks before they became such friends.

It was not immediate sparks, unlike the recollections of their story would suggest; Damien did at first conceive her as a threat. An experiment to terminate. Maggot could not fathom a world outside of disgust, despair, and malice. To make matters worse, neither could offer a shred of trust as far as they could throw— and Damien could throw monster trucks, if it suited his mood.

It made for a volatile few days.

Damien spent the entire time in a constant and engulfing state of terror at his inability to read the tiny purple pixi mutant, sitting but an arm’s length away. It was a splendid torture for a man who built his security on the very ability Maggot blocked simply by existing. Of course, Maggot was perturbed her “savior” was a thing of nightmarish camp stories, who seemed to manipulate the world around him like clay. He was far too strong, too intelligent, too dangerous. There was no way to verify his intentions, no way to gain comfortable ground. Yet, he was also the only chance she had for a permanent escape. Damien did eventually find a way to read her mind, work around the white noise her mind persisted. His nerves were instantly eased; she was never a threat. He even learned to embrace her side-effect, to love the reverie of silence. He had never conceived of it in all his existence. Her mind, when and if he did take a peek, was captivating. The intricacies of her thoughts glamoured him. They were beautiful. Almost as beautiful as the mismatched eyes of the boy in his stories.

In time, Maggot warmed up to the vampire, though not all at once. It was a while before she realized that Damien had changed his demeanor: suddenly protective, never calculating or callous, weary for her and infinitely patient. He began to let her in, open his world to her and for her. Of course it took many months, years even, before she knew him so thoroughly, so profoundly than she knew herself. But in the first few weeks, she knew somewhere deep, that he was someone she needed. Unconditionally, always hers, Damien would never be for anyone else.

The most beloved friend.

And it went without saying that with each new memory, moment, minute, the two began to soothe the pain of the jagged pasts they carried. For Maggot, however, it seemed Damien would never know true contentment. Many nights, she heard his childlike cries warm the large apartment, a melody she knew very well, a song she listened to with tears of her own. In time, Maggot heard less of the cries in the night.

And Damien was always grateful it was because of her.

I spoke to you in cautious tones,  You answered me with no pretense,  And still I feel I said too much,  My silence is my self-defense.

“You told me that you would take care of this. I don’t care what it takes. If you have to burn some bridges, then do it. It’s your damned job.” The phone hit the cradle with a definitive clack. It was a moment before Damien spoke. “I have to go to Chicago,” voice low, hostile. “Damien please, we need you here, I can’t handle this alone! The negotiations will g-.”

Damien’s eyes darted over at his brother, cold, furious. The expression was clear, What part of what I just said didn’t you get? He brought his hand from the arm of his office chair to brush his temple with his fingers. 

Mike flashed him a look of warning, jaw set hard, “We need this to work. You need this to work! You’re the best of us. We can’t take on a war and you know I’m right.” Damien sat forward in his chair scribbling notes to himself, checks, passports, he filed through the litter of papers on his desk. He let Michael prattle on with some registration.

“Mike, I want to help. But I can’t be here holding your hand while someone–some thing continues to murder enforcers in my territory."  He stood up with a folder in hand, "You think I want to go down to Chicago for this? Murder? Those enforcers were Specials, Michael, human. And whatever did this knew it. Someone is already starting a war and they’re using me to do it.” Mike ground his teeth before opening his mouth, yet he hesitated. Finally, he settled at pointing at Damien accusingly, “You have good people stationed there, skilled Seekers. Capable, inhuman. They don’t need y–”

“Does this look like capable to you?” Damien shouted, tossing him the manila file, glossy pictures fluttering about as Mike failed to prevent fallout. He opened the folder to reveal several crime scene and medical examiner photographs, all gruesome and more terrible the longer eyes were upon it. Mike’s stomach churned. He returned Damien’s glare, eyes softened. “James has contacts, he’s called a few, but not everyone,” Damien resumed gathering his things, voice relenting, “Raz has a few up his sleeve too; they’ve got a vested interest in part of his territories in Texas. Loralie is already setting up a meeting with Naveed, as you know,” He filed everything in hand neatly into a briefcase. His voice finally calm, he stood facing Mike, “I know you’re dealing with a peace talk on a massive scale, and I’ll try to do whatever I can help, but-” 

“I’m going to Chicago.”

Damien had always taken a car to Chicago. Perhaps it was a ritual, or maybe just an excuse to preoccupy his mind for a couple hours. This time he couldn’t risk traffic he couldn’t manipulate. He decided a small jet would do a fine job. He made it in an hour and half. 

From the executive airport, it was quick descent into the city’s bowels. Damien took side streets until finally the skyline opened itself up to him.

The feeling of dense fog hung close to the entrance of the building. The further Damien descended, the closer and closer he came to the white noise. He felt the unease coil around his belly and his fingertips prickled and tensed with the surge of adrenaline. The bouncer stopped short at the end of the narrowed hallway to palm a small thin sheet of glass protruding minutely from the rest of the wall. It beeped after a second, unlocking the large metal door with an audible turn of several metal tumblers. Once unlocked, the bouncer held the door open and waited for Damien to step inside.

Expressionless, wordlessly, Damien entered, the faint smell of sweat and musk perfuming the air. The door closed behind him with the metal tumblers falling tightly in place. Here we go. “Mr. Eckhard!” a voice called, “I’m so glad we finally meet.” From the entryway, the room opened up into a salon of deep reds and blacks. It would have pleased the likes of early vampires and demons, a sinister elegance nuanced in the colors and architecture of the secret business. Damien kept his expression mild.

“Marco Raptis,” he replied smoothly, “The pleasure is mine.”

Marco, a lanky man of average height and dark features extended his hand toward the vampire. Damien shook it resolutely. Marco grinned, a perfect host. “Oh, I assure you, this is one of the few times that it is I who is truly delighted. It’s not every day I can fill an order like yours.” He withdrew his hand, cupping his palms together, “I know that our conditions of business were a bit of a stretch for you, but you understand,” Marco’s smile was both friendly and hostile. Damien was indeed hesitant to meet the demands of business, leaving his weapons outside of the establishment. He wasn’t used to traveling without a piece and it was especially an unsavory thought now that he could feel the static creep closer to his mind. It was almost suicide, he thought. He felt the slightest bit of reassurance that mere humans were running the show thus far. “The pursuit was too seductive,” Damien gave a sly smile of his own, “I can put my comfort aside if you can truly live up to your marketing.”

Marco laughed, “Please,” he gestured with some urgency towards the inner chamber of the salon, “This way.” As the lobby opened up into a lavish den, it was arranged as a relaxed strip bar. A long rounded couch encircled a counter, decorated elegantly as if it could diminish the fact it was a glamorized auctioning shelf. “Have a seat,” Marco offered. He stopped at a bar at the right side of the room stocked decadently with various wines and liquors. “Can I get you anything?” “No,” Damien found it unpleasant to sit, but he poised himself along the couch anyway, “I’m fine, thank you.” Marco sniffed, finishing off a vodka, “Suit yourself.”

Unadulterated anger took root in his belly and spread to his limbs as a burning icy jolt. He felt the heat of his body rise as his heart worked to pump blood—a process unnecessary, but a product of muscle memory. Damien’s eyes flashed red, but he kept himself contained. He addressed the horned curiosity in the cage taking obvious steps to remain calm. “What do you know about Marco’s business?” It was practically a sneer. Maggot stiffened at his tone and the mention of Marco. She remained silent, her restrained hands clicking against the back of the metal chair. Slowly, calculating, Damien stood and moved towards the cage. It was an offensive move, and Maggot visibly strained to sit further back into her chair; it didn’t have the desired effect. “What do you know?” eyes red, voice low, this time it was sinister. “

[teamkaiforever]

_________________________________ MASTERLIST - SMUT MASTERLIST - FLUFF

[ecotone99]

[MF] Gaining Ground

He put on his oven mitts when he heard the beep. The steel, commercial-sized oven could cook enough for 100 people, but he only needed to feed 40.

Opening the oven, he felt the heat blast his face as he looked down at the lasagna casserole. Steam rose from the wide tray of penne pasta, melted cheese, sizzling tomato sauce and hot sausage. It looked like it had burnt on the sides, but he didn’t care. These kids would eat anything.

After pulling out the tray and placing it on the counter, he took off his gloves and walked over to his bag. From inside it he pulled out a clear, unmarked bottle filled with a light pink powder.

The casserole would be an easy meal to make the powder disappear. He would just mix it in with the serving spoon and voilà. None of the players would need to know what they were eating. He had regretted making burgers during the first week he began feeding the team. He had to sprinkle each individual patty with the powder and make sure it was covered with the slice of cheese. That’s when he decided to start making meals that fit in large trays. He planned to continue through his rotation of shareable meals for the next few weeks, at least until after the league championship game.

“Chef Bill! Chef Bill! Chef Bill!”

Cody chanted along with his teammates, but not as loud as some of the hungry linemen, as the cook walked out of the kitchen holding a tray of steaming food. They had used to call him Mr. Hamlin when he taught chemistry, but ever since his accident in the lab, he was no longer allowed to teach classes. It was probably for the best.

Some students were surprised Principal Webber allowed him to stay on as cook, but the principal had assured everyone there was no risk, and that Bill was a good man who deserved another chance. Cody thought the principal did it because he felt bad for Bill. Even as a teacher, he always had a hint of sadness in his eyes. Cody had heard his wife left him a few years back, and once when he was biking home he saw Bill walking toward the trailer park where his mom told him not to wander.

“What’d you think of that new play?” Steve asked him.

“What’s that? Cody responded, distracted. “Oh yeah, the play. I think it’s smart. If the linemen make their blocks, I’ll have no one but the safety to beat. And I can juke him out.”

“Forget juking. Run over him,” Steve said, patting him on the shoulder. “Look how big you’ve gotten. You can run over anyone.”

After Bill put the tray down on the table, Cody went up with Steve and the other seniors to take his serving. Then the juniors went up, followed by the underclassmen. The older players scooped the better pieces of the casserole, leaving the burnt edges for their younger teammates, but that didn’t stop anyone from wolfing down their meals. The typically loud banter from the group was replaced by the sounds of forks and chewing mouths as they scarfed down the first food they had eaten in hours. Practice always made them hungry.

“All right everyone, listen up,” Coach Hunter said once he saw that most of the players had finished eating. “It’s no secret that the season didn’t start out the way we wanted. But you guys have shown serious improvement over the last few weeks, and if we win tomorrow we’ll be 4-4. We would still need to win our last three games to make the league championship, but like I always say: one week at a time. The games are not going to be won on the field. They are going to be won at practice and in the weight room. If you put in the extra effort when no one is watching, you’ll be able to celebrate with the whole school cheering from the bleachers. Get to sleep early tonight, and you’ll wake up stronger tomorrow. Team on three. One. Two. Three."

“TEAM” the players chanted in unison. Then they began to throw away their plates and file out of the cafeteria.

He opened the door to his mobile home, a rusted trailer not much bigger than a minivan with cinderblocks instead of wheels. The key always got stuck at first, and he had to jiggle the handle to get the door open.

Once inside, Bill glanced around to make sure everything was still in its place. On the right side of the trailer was his pull-out couch and a small television set. On the left side, the kitchen countertop was lined with beakers, test tubes and a plastic shelf filled with bags containing various minerals in powdered form. Ever since he lost his job as chemistry teacher, this cramped kitchen had become his lab.

Bill pulled the bags out of the shelf one by one to check how much of each mineral remained. He had only mastered the formula for the strength serum about a month earlier, but already he had depleted each of the necessary minerals significantly. He would need to make sure he had enough to last through the league championship game.

As he sifted through his materials and thought about his plan, he wondered if the kids had noticed themselves growing unnaturally stronger. They probably wouldn’t think anything of it. They were going through puberty anyway, and their egos would likely attribute the growth to their work in the weight room. If the kids didn’t notice it, he worried that the parents might, or even the coaches. The team had improved and won its last three games. But the regular season wins didn’t matter to Bill. The bet he placed had been on the league championship.

His bookie didn’t usually accept bets on high school sports, but he made an exception for this one. It couldn’t be on an individual game, only on the league champion at the end of the year. Irving High struggled last year and had gotten off to a slow start this year by the time Bill mastered the serum. When he went to ask about league championship odds after the fourth week, his bookie gave him 20-to-1 odds on Irving, even though there were only 10 teams in the league. He put all of the money he had been saving up — a full $5,000 — on the team. But he wasn’t betting on a bunch of high schoolers, he thought. He was betting on himself.

Bill pulled one of his microwave dinners out of the freezer and began to heat it up. If he could only win this bet, he thought, he would never have to eat this crap again. The payout would be big enough that he could rent a spacious apartment with a full kitchen, and he could stock up on fresh groceries. He thought back to the meals he used to cook for Linda, before she kicked him out of the house.

Suddenly, his attention was grabbed by a hard knock on the door that shook the entire trailer.

“Open up, Bill. I know you’re in there.” It was Dave, the owner of the trailer park.

“Be right there.” Bill shouted. He walked over to the door and opened it a crack, stopping it with his foot so Dave could see his face but not the entirety of his home. “What can I do you for, Dave?”

“You know why I’m here, Bill. You’re three days late on the rent. I ought to kick you out of this park. Freeloading off all of these fine people who pay their rent on time, that’s what you’re doing.”

“I know I know,” Bill gathered his thoughts. “Look, I don’t have it this month. But I’ve got some money coming in soon, and next month I’ll pay you double, plus interest. I might even have enough to leave this godforsaken trailer park.”

“That’s no way to talk about a park to it’s owner, especially one who’s letting you live rent free. If you don’t have the money to me by the first of next month, plus a 5% late fee, I’ll tow your piece of shit trailer out of the park myself. You consider this a warning.”

“Thanks, Dave. I’ll have the money. Don’t you worry.”

“FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!”

The chorus of teammates chanting together echoed off the weight room’s concrete ceiling as Cody completed his set on the squat machine. He slammed the bar back into place on the rack and then walked away from the machine, flexing his arms as his teammates cheered him. He had just done 10 reps of 405. Last week, he could only do six reps at that weight, and the week before, just two.

“Dude, you’re killing it,” Steve said to Cody as he rejoined his group of friends. “Since when can you squat that much?”

“Since this month, I guess.” Cody grabbed his legs to feel his quad muscles. They had grown larger and more firm in the last few weeks, he thought, just like his arms. “But I’m not the only one hitting a new max. Look at Frankie.”

The boys looked over as Frankie, a stout junior who played center, put another plate on each side of the squat rack. A crowd gathered around him.

“He’s about to squat 495. Holy shit.” Cody looked at Steve with his eyebrows raised as Frankie strutted around to the front of the squat rack. He bent his knees as he pulled his head under, placed his hands evenly on the bar, pushed it up with his shoulders and began to squat.

The mob of teammates around him cheered even louder as Frankie reached his sixth rep. Veins bulged out of the boy’s forehead as he forced up a seventh. Cody was surprised he made it that far and his jaw dropped as he saw Frankie going down for one more. The voices urging him on grew louder and louder, screaming his name as Frankie bent his knees to his lowest point.

“AAAHHH” Frankie shouted in pain as he collapsed onto the ground, the weights falling out of his hands and slamming onto the safety bars. His teammates’ cheering stopped suddenly as they crowded around him asking if he was all right. Frankie cursed as he held his knee. “Get the trainer! NOW!”

Three weeks later, Cody could barely fit into his clothing. His skin-tight compression shorts felt like they might rip as he pulled them on and began to get dressed for the big game.

“You’re looking huge, kid.” His coach patted on the back of his muscular shoulders. “How do you feel?”

“Fine. I mean, good. I’m ready to go.”

“You better be. This is the biggest game of your life, son.”

He was usually one of the first to start getting ready, but his teammates had arrived early today. They each sat in front of their lockers, headphones on and not talking to each other as they went through their early preparation for the game. All except Frankie. He sat on a bench in jeans and his varsity jacket, with his two crutches leaned up against the wall next to him. He hadn’t played since the accident.

As he looked around at his teammates, Cody wondered if they felt as anxious as he did. He always felt a little nervous before games, but this one felt different. It was the league championship game, and he felt like all the pressure was on him. His team’s winning streak had come from Cody running over people with a strength he never had before. He used to be a quick running back and would cut in between the tacklers, but now as he grew stronger and more aggressive, Cody ran straight through and over the defenders. As he thought about some of his harder hits, he felt not pride but fear. He didn’t feel like himself anymore. He didn’t know what his body was capable of doing.

Even if his teammates were as anxious as he was, he knew none of them would say a word about it. They would nod their heads to their own pump-up music, slap each other on the ass, shout each other’s names and describe just how hard they intended to hit the opposing players.

“You good, man?” Steve said as he sat down on the bench next to Cody.

“Yeah I’m good. It just feels weird. I never thought we’d make it this far.”

“It’s been a crazy run, and it’s all because of you, bro.” Steve patted him on the back. “You gonna run over some more losers today?”

“You know it.” The boys pounded knuckles as Steve walked away from Cody’s locker.

“You’re in for a good one today, folks,” the announcer’s voice boomed from the press box. “We’ve got defending champion Monroe High School looking to hold onto their crown against the comeback kids at Irving High. After an 0-4 start to the season, Irving has won a miraculous seven straight games, vaulting them into the league championship.”

The press box sat atop the metal bleachers, and next to the right side of the bleachers stood Bill Hamlin. Standing alone with his arms crossed and sunglasses on, he scanned the packed crowed of excited faces. He saw students and parents he recognized, and just as his focus reached the side gate, he saw the one person he hoped wouldn’t make it. His bookie.

The man in the leather jacket nodded at Bill and began to walk toward him. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans as the man approached.

“Tony, how you doing?” Bill said with fake friendliness in his voice as he reached out to shake his bookie’s hand. “I didn’t know you were coming to the game.”

“After that bet you placed, how could I miss it?” Tony said. “Say, how’d you know those Irving kids were gonna turn it around?”

Bill looked around, scared that someone might overhear their conversation. But a steady roar came from the crowd of talking fans, and Tony had gotten close enough that he could practically whisper. “No reason. Just a hunch.”

“A hunch, right. Well look, I’ve got proposition for you,” Tony lowered his voice. "I’ll let you hedge your bet. Put some money down on Monroe. That way no matter who wins, you win something. And you’re not at risk of losing everything.”

He considered the offer. If he hedged his bet, then either way he could win enough to pay the rent he owed. But if he won the whole thing, as he had planned from the beginning, he could start over. He could move into a nice apartment where he could invite people over and cook for them. He would just need Irving to win. Looking over at the field, he saw the team lined up to stretch. Their muscles bulged out of their jerseys as they reached down to touch their toes. They were stronger than the other team. He knew it. He had made it so.

“No thanks, Tony. I’m all in on Irving.”

“That’s a timeout by Irving High. We’ve got a close one here folks. It’s 24-20, Monroe on top, 20 seconds left in the game. Irving has the ball at their own 35 yard line. They need a touchdown or it’s all over.”

Cody could hear the announcer as he jogged toward the sideline where the team huddled around the coach. He tried to slow his breathing, but it had been a long game, and he was exhausted. Someone tossed him a water bottle and he squirted it into his mouth as he tried to hear what his coach was saying. The noise from the crowd made it difficult.

“Can you here me Cody?”

“Yes. Yes Coach.”

“I said we’re calling your play! 28 Toss Crack. Take it to the outside, the blockers will clear the way, and you’ll only have one man between you and the end zone. You got it?”

“I got it, coach.”

The whistle blew and they ran back onto the field, lining up in formation. Cody stood behind the quarterback with his hands on his bent knees. He snuck a quick peek over to the right side of the field to see where the defenders lined up.

“Red 28! Red 28! Set! Hike!”

The quarterback received the snap and tossed it backward to Cody, who sprinted to his right. His blockers pulled out in front of him as he looked to turn up field. The linemen made their blocks with ease, sending the defenders falling backwards as Cody burst through the gap. When he emerged, he saw only the safety between him and the end zone.

He barreled toward the safety and saw his eyes widen as he approached. Cody thought about trying to run him over but decided against it. This was his play. He was going to do it his way. He took a firm step to the right and saw the safety plant his foot, then he shifted all of his weight in the opposite direction and exploded to the left. The safety fell backwards as he tried to recover and Cody danced into the end zone, untouched.

The crowd erupted as Cody turned around, threw the ball into the air, let out his loudest scream and raised his arms to embrace his jumping teammates.

Next to the bleachers, Bill Hamlin pumped his fists and shouted: “YES! We did it!”

Tony, without saying a word, handed Bill a thick envelope and walked away. Bill slipped it into his jacket and turned to exit the stadium.

As walked to his car, he felt euphoria. He couldn’t believe how easy it been. He could now escape from the trailer park and rent a fancy apartment. But then a thought occurred to him: what if he could buy one? What if this scheme could work on another level with even higher stakes, where he could win even more money? He pulled out his phone and began to type into the search engine: “college football team cook jobs.”

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