#tales from a substitute teacher

[britneyshakespeare]

you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off

that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it

[ofmdrecaps]

09/06-07/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Ruibo Qian; Vico Ortiz; Kristian Nairn; Anapela Polataivao; Erroll Shand; Andrew DeYoung; Kay Buchanen; RoseCityComicCon OFMD Panel; Tell Tale Voting Reminder; Another Call To Action; Help Matt Maher go to ECCC!; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Today's Taika;

Hey Crew, I'm working on reaching out to folks to get permission to post more Rose City Comic Con pictures! Hope to have more up tomorrow.

== David Jenkins ==

David and Kinga got married! So happy for you Chaos Dad!

Source: David and Kinga's Instagram

== Rhys Darby ==

SO MUCH RHYS today! He was out doing comedy at Largo LA!

Source: LargoLosAngelos More Comedy with Rhys, 9/10/24 at 8 PM in LA! Learn more!

Guess who's substack is up!?

Source: Rhys Darby's Instagram

== Taika Waititi ==

The Toronto International Film Festival is on! Indigenous.tv is reminding you to keep an eye out for Taika!

Source: Indigenous TV

== Ruibo Qian ==

Ruibo is in Shanghai!

Source: Ruibo Qian's Instagram

== Vico Ortiz ==

Vico and Ane are cosplaying Crowley and Aziraphale at Rose City Comic Con!

Vico will also be part of the Drag Pac's Youth Town Hall on Sept 14, 2024 at the Plaza De La Raza LA! Wanna check it out? Visit their site!

Source: Vico's Instagram

== Kristian Nairn ==

Kristian Djing "Hold the Decks" for us!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kristian Nairn (@kristiannairn)

Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram

== Anapela Polataivao ==

Our beloved Auntie's movie TINĀ (MOTHER) will be premiering at the Hawaii Film Festival this year in October!

"HIFF44 opens at the Consolidated Theatres Kahala with the World Premiere and directorial feature debut of Miki Magasiva’s nuanced drama from New Zealand/Aotearoa. Samoan actor Anapela Polata’ivao (ONE THOUSAND ROPES, OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH, SHORTLAND STREET) portrays Mareta, a well-respected and gifted vocal coach in her community, who finds herself at a crossroads, needing to find work after the tragic death of her daughter, a death she is still processing. Mareta goes out of her comfort zone to become a substitute teacher at an elite, all-white private school and forms a choir that begins her healing as a matriarch and caregiver. Director Miki Magasiva and actress Anapela Polata’ivao are scheduled to attend HIFF44 Opening Night."

New Zealand/Aotearoa 2024 | English, Samoan w/English Subtitles | 124M

Source: HIFF Instagram and Website

== Erroll Shand ==

Everyone's sending love to Erroll for his role in The Twelve! Really hoping it'll be available outside of NZ soon!

Source: Jodie Rimmer Instagram

== Andrew Deyoung ==

One of our writers had their new movie premiered at the TIFF!

Source: FilmAndy Instagram

== Kay Buchanan ==

Our fabulous leather worker-- Kay Buchanan has a new movie coming out that she worked on props for! Grafted, a AoNZ horror film will be released in AoNZ on Sept 12! Check out the trailer on her IG!

Source: Kay Buchanan's Instagram

== Rose City Comic Con ==

Our crewmates over at @adoptourcrew were kind enough to share updates from the Cast Panel at Rose City ComicCon this weekend! If you have twitter, you can check it out over at Adopt Our Crew Thread. If not, you can see them below!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Tell Tale Voting Reminders! ==

Only a few more days to vote for Stede and Ed in Tell Tale TV's Battle of the Ships! Please vote here when you get a chance!

Source: Tell Tale TV's Instagram

== Another Call to Action! ==

Sounds like there's going to be another anniversary trailer happening on 09/15! Several crewmates are asking to QRT David's Tweet here with the text "Because The Night Belongs To Lovers #OurFlagMeansDeath" and something a little extra to help keep from being flagged as spam! Let's get ofmd trending again that day!

Source: Lucy's Twitter

== Help Matt Maher go to ECCC! ==

Looks like a few of our crewmates talked to Matthew Maher (Black Pete) and he really wants to go to Seattle! Let's help him get to Emerald City Comic Con, if you have a moment, please put in a request to have him as a guest at their next con! Thank you to Mira (@/havethisonelife on twitter) and @/Callousnstrange for trying to help Matt!

Source: CallousnStrange / Mira (HaveThisOneLife)

== Fan Spotlight ==

= The Gay Pirate News Hour =

The inaugural episode of Gay Pirate News Hour is out now covering a month's worth of OFMD fandom news and speculation including David Jenkins getting married, Rose City Comic Con, and reasons to clown about season 3. GPNH will be live on youtube once a month!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram/Youtube

== Loves Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! I've been sitting with my Dad in the hospital for a few days, and it's given me a lot to think about. Today especially was particularly hard, and I wanted to send out a couple reminders I think are important.

It's okay to be scared. Things don't always go as we plan, and scary things DO happen, and you are absolutely valid in feeling fear in the unknown.

It's okay to ask for help. Sometimes, even if you are the proudest person in the entire world, you need help, and it's okay to ask for that help. Even if you're estranged, or have difficult relationships, ask for help, the worst that can happen is someone says no. Better to know for sure then not ask.

You're absolutely wonderful lovelies. You. When you're scared, when you're happy, when you're sad, you're beautiful, and you're wonderful, and you deserve love and help just like anyone else. Please ask for it if you need it <3 Rest well, I'm rooting for you.

Source: MichellCClark Instagram

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Today's theme is hair, gifs courtesy of these wonderful folks, @piratesleeves and @unaragazzadelnord

[impulsivefanwriter]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week — Day 2: Movieverse, AUs, &/or Jay

Movieverse

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28136997/chapters/68942907 — Same People But Not Really (SPBNR)

Top-tier fic right here by the glorious @kittydemon9000 (go shower them in positive comments!) with a great Discord, this fantastic fic features our beloved show Kai (Smith) finding himself in the movieverse after Garmadon blasts him with the Megaweapon. Full of fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, and damn good writing, one of my favourite fics of all time :D

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34723405 — Divided for Keeps

A brilliantly written one-shot based on an AU for SPBNR (the above fic) where Smith lands in the movieverse without his memories and is adopted by Garmadon. All he has is his phone with photos of his family- but when his phone gets smashed by some of the Dorksquad for fear their identities will be revealed to Garmadon, he decides to never again let friends into his heart. Perhaps a certain overheard conversation can change his mind...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38467489/chapters/96140524 — Keep Your Secrets Near

Another SPBNR inspired fic, this time a pre-curser to Smith's arrival. In this AU, movie!Kai is too injured to become a ninja, and finds his siblings' increasingly concerning behaviour suspicious.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38652201 — The Venomari Venom Incident

Yet another fantastic SPBNR inspired fic, this time featuring so much hilarious shenanigans. When a prank against movie!Lloyd (Green) goes wrong, Smith is doused in venomari venom. Naturally, things go wrong immediately.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40019130/chapters/100220688 — SPBNR pero ahora Smith es un gato :D (Spanish)

And yet ANOTHER amazing SPBNR inspired fic, this time featuring Cat!Smith :D This one is in Spanish!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37665907?view_full_work=true — Ninjago University: A Tale of Idiots Who Are Just Trying Their Best at This Point, Okay?

You guessed it, another great SPBNR inspired fic. This one features a merged show and movieverse and our two favourite groups of ninja university students interacting with hilarious shenanigans and pining

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41063274/chapters/102920622 — Find My Place

What if S11 Zane got zapped to the movieverse instead of the Neverrealm? Why, he becomes a substitute teacher, obviously! Go show this great fic some love!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44418760/chapters/111722089 — Shogun: Becoming

(also inspired by SPBNR) What if instead of Zane, S11 Kai got zapped to the movieverse instead of the Neverrealm? Struggling with missing his family, the temptation of the staff, and his weakened powers, Kai must figure out how to get home while befriending this universe's ninja-- a struggle all of its own

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1441819 — The Grass is Always Greener (Series)

A fantastic series by the extremely talented @sunnylighter (go shower their blog in love) featuring a crossover between the show and movie with many amazing instalments (and a great Monkie Kid crossover fic too) that includes elements from S2-S4 and a ton of great head canons, jokes, moments to laugh or cry, and an overall great time

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107311 The Ninja Legacy Whip (Series)

Oh gosh, where do I even start with this one? It's absolutely brilliant, one of my all-time favourites, that merge the events of the show with the world of the movie so perfectly with amazing lore, expansion on beloved show scenes by making them even cooler, and introducing some concepts that still make me go feral to this day (outbursts and surprise are still the two coolest things EVER!!!). Every character gets a chance to shine, and shine they do. Go shower the super talented @weekend-whip with positivity, they deserve it with this beast of a series I love rereading

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44770108/chapters/112641901 — Ninjas and Demons — Movieverse Crossover + Monkie Kid

When the threat of an ancient demon reawakens in Ninjago, Wu sends the ninja away to a distant realm. Turns out, another world's Wu had the same idea with his ninja, and now both teams find themselves in the world of the Monkey King and his successor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26303986?view_full_work=true — Those Linked By Destiny

A very great fic about how the Dorksquad first met (one of my personal favourites of this variety), one by one by one, and became the ironclad friend group we all know and love

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178393 — Green Empathy (Series)

Love movieverse Lloyd and think he's a sad little meow meow? Then this series featuring him with empathy powers is perfect for you!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27586439/chapters/67483652 — That's Ninja Swag (it's nothing new)

A very intriguing AU where the Dorksquad are reincarnations of the original show ninja and slowly remember their past

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20742584 — Oh, haven't you heard?

A fantastically hilarious movieverse fic featuring our beloved (secretly) son of a warlord vs. the crack of Buzzfeed Unsolved

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29490180 — Home Is Where You Are

Movieverse Lloyd gets stabbed and his cousin Morro wants to stab people as a result

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30888539 — Who’s the New Guy? He Looks Awfully Green

Even more Movieverse Lloyd being a sad little meow meow, this time with him finally finding friends and hoping to his grandfather they don't find out he's the Lloyd Garmadon

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26722576 — Kind

A bawler in the most wholesome way; a movieverse fic featuring the "words people think about you appear on your skin" AU, staring Lloyd Garmadon, AKA the second most hated person in the city. Seriously, this one shot fic is amazing and is so worth the read

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12748683/1/Dork-Squad-Assemble — Dork Squad, Assemble

Another fantastically written fic of how the Dorksquad met and formed, and the trials and tribulations that followed

https://www.tumblr.com/angeldrawsstuffs/722519952725262336/its-not-easy-being-chen?source=share — It’s Not Easy Being Chen(?)

A fun one-shot featuring a mean, ruthless, cheerleading bully... or is he?

https://www.tumblr.com/angeldrawsstuffs/711788606697701377/the-letter?source=share — The Letter

show!Kai, trapped in a Pixie Hollow Movieverse, receives a... short letter from his little brother.

https://www.tumblr.com/angeldrawsstuffs/707259828912996352/a-lost-father?source=share — A Lost Father

movie!Zane's Papa Whint goes out one day to buy milk.

AUs

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28298904/chapters/69342846 — From a Laboratory

In which Zane is an digital AI that suddenly finds himself uploaded to a physical body and must unwind a spiralling conspiracy of hidden experiments

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112301 — Observational Astronomy

A soft one-shot of a "platonic soulmates appear as a constellation of stars on your skin called a cluster" variety

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30933857/chapters/76392629 — One Hell of a Summer Job

After a fight with a bully on school grounds, Kai finds himself exiled to manual labour on a farm. He despises everything about the job... except the three cute young farmhands working there

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23239126/chapters/55643689 — Ruler From Another Realm 

Ice Emperor Zane... but not a manipulated genocidal evil villain :D

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24110224/chapters/58039936 — Time Break

During the fight with the Time Twins, the ninja find themselves sent back in time... to the middle of the Elemental Alliance

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31642349/chapters/78306116 — history doesn't repeat itself (but it often rhymes)

A fun AU filled with magic, mystery, and mystical accessories (and perhaps a hidden underground cave system or two)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12732393/chapters/29033811 — Pretty Penny Tavern

A classic fic for a good reason; the owner of the Pretty Penny Tavern is a very suspicious shady character named Ronin who pays well to keep their noses out of his buisness, but that doesn't stop his young tavern workers from trying to uncover his secrets

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25156273/chapters/60957967 — Sit Still, Look Pretty

A Detroit: Become Human style AU where newly built Zane is 'gifted' to the ninja... who begin to suspect there may be more to the android than meets the eye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38299120/chapters/95698927 — So A Traumatized Teen And Two Dragons Get Sent Back In Time

Kai finds himself back in the events of the pilots with no memory of how he got there along with two small amnesiac dragons he can suddenly understand (pssst- this one was also written by @kittydemon9000! Go shower their ask box with positivity!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42440016/chapters/106583067 — No Wu AU

In an world where Wu doesn't seek out the ninja (or at least, was successful at finding them) until later, the group bonds over trying to learn about their powers and staying alive

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37437592/chapters/93429598 — Ignitus

During the reign of Emperor Chen, Elemental Masters are outlawed. Morro escapes from an experimental facility but finds himself handcuffed to Kai, who failed to capture him again. When Morro reveals that the ninja don't know the whole story, the two go on the run and build a team of elemental masters to take down Chen for good

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13626984/1/The-Idiots-Guide-to-Not-Despising-Your-Cousin — The Idiots’ Guide to Not Despising Your Cousin

Lloyd takes his reformed 'cousin' Morro on a road trip of hell to recreate the scene from Sharknado. Hilarious shenanigans and begrudging cousin bonding ensues, complete with an emotional shouting match, a rocket launcher, and a stolen shark

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29928969/chapters/73666074 — The Call of Magic

Another great magic AU filled with learning new powers (and hiding said powers), stopping hidden enemies trying to kill them, and combating an ancient prophecy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23449558/chapters/56209675 — Caught Red-Handed

A hitman Kai AU full of angst and some hilarious crack as he finesses his way through a labyrinth of underground criminals... and falls for three good-guys along the way who could screw up everything (or even save his life); this great fic was written by the extremely talented @fanfalc-616 who you can go shower in positive comments

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27799876/chapters/68058064 — Time for Amnesia

Another amazingly written fic by @fanfalc-616, this time featuring an amnesiac Kai being utterly (and angrily) baffled by the ninja, some of which (a freaking robot that's totally evil, an annoying idiot, and a kinda scary stick in the mud) claiming to be his boyfriends while another claims to be his younger brother.

Jay

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28612956/chapters/70128354 — When your love rival is a frog

This one. This one right here is gold (and a personal comfort fic). Movie Kai has had a crush on Jay since, well, forever- but the one thing getting in his way of flat-out proposing is a slimy green frog named Kyle. Brilliantly written and stitches-inducing hilarity ensues.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33701395 — I'll chase you to the moon and back

A cute one-shot of movie Jay feeling insecure about his place in the team... and his teammates doing something about it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13854819?view_full_work=true — Earbuds

In a world where the ninja don't know each other's civilian identities, Kai finds out the identity of his crush, Jay. A fantastic plasma story filled with pining, an oblivious electric boy, and a smashed window or two

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36058093?view_full_work=true — Like Looking In a Digital Mirror

Movie Jay stumbles into Prime Empire and meets... himself?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37798150/chapters/94374718 — Would You Like To Enter Stardust?

An absolutely heart-wrenching "everything is terrible" angst-fest of a Prime Empire fic for all you SRJ angst-lovers :D

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15404622/chapters/35752608 — Lost in the Void

In which Jay discovers a secret new power to his element and everything goes great(?) from there

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24324337/chapters/58644697 — Cold Nights

Snake jay content my beloved

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36920599/chapters/92111470 — Changes

More snake jay content my beloved

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46263796 — Play to Win

A beautifully written fic that makes me go feral of Nadakhan forcing Jay and Cole into a Scrap n' Tap match... against each other

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32716111/chapters/81165256 — Habits of Home(lessness)

A "5 times + 1" fic about Jay being incredibly concerned and confused by the mysterious habits of his team

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700081/chapters/67792351 — Your Mistakes Are Yours to Keep (BEING REWRITTEN)

Post Skybound angst my beloved

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19375495?view_full_work=true — The Woodsman And The Wizard

Oh, this one is fun (I say, as if the rest aren't just as great)- A Beauty and the Beast styled AU where Cole wanders into the woods and finds a mysterious castle with a powerful wizard who may not be as brave or arrogant as he tries to appear

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3557314 — Overload (Series)

Jay goes missing, and an investigation into a nearby power plant leads to... so much terrible trouble

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39091860/chapters/97792278 — Walk a Mile

A fun bodyswap fic featuring Kai & Jay learning to tolerate each other

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49508392/chapters/124953220 - Blue Goes Boom

An angsty fic that explores the S4 mech explosion and aftermath in more detail. Jay gives poor Kai several heart-attacks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48647455?view_full_work=true - Survivors

REALLY GOOD FIC HERE- Lloyd struggling with survivor's guilt post s9 and Jay's the one to talk with him about it (and then the others take care of Jay <3) The Jay characterization is ON POINT

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47798566?view_full_work=true - Would You Like To Enter Prime Empire?

ANOTHER REALLY GOOD FIC HERE- a re-write of Prime Empire with more emphasis on Jay (written by the above fic author so you know it's got peak Jay characterization and some really cool lightning power headcanons)

[mintyscuriocabinet]

My Little Pony Tales (1992) Infection AU! Part 1 (CW: BODY HORROR)

Hi all, thank you for your overwhelming support of my infection AU. I really hope you enjoy it. I decided to go for something a little different than the usual infection AUs and put my own little spin on it. This AU is based on G1.5! If you have any questions about it or you'd like to see more, please let me know! With that out of the way, here's my Infection AU art.

Bon Bon

Status: Uninfected

Sanity: 80%

Health: 95%

Bon Bon wants to find a cure for the Crystallovirus, despite Flapjack Fiesta telling her it's impossible. She's willing to develop a vaccine before the infection spreads by any means necessary.

Items: Medical supplies, diary, kitchen knife (self defence)

Starlight

Status: Infected (Stage 3)

Sanity: 2%

Health: 10%

Starlight was infected by an unknown pony before being admitted to Redheart Hospital. Once she reached stage 3, she was too powerful for the staff to control so she escaped into the woods with the other zombies.

Items: Ice cream shop name tag, hospital IV, the crystal (plenty to go around...)

Clover

Status: Uninfected (amputated infected limbs)

Sanity: 78%

Health: 80%

Clover was infected by Starlight after she bit her legs. As a result, she had to get them amputated to control the spread, which works as a temporary solution against the Crystallovirus. Her disability makes her an easy target for zombies, so she prefers to be in the company of other safe ponies rather than bring alone.

Items: Flask of tea, pocket knife, seed pods

Ms. Hackney

Status: Infected (Stage 2)

Sanity: 50%

Health: 50%

Ms. Hackney is being treated at Readheart Hospital. She's currently experiencing the worst stage of the virus, where pain increases and memory begins to fade. She is highly supportive of Bon Bon's goal and hopes she can cure her before she reaches stage 3. She has aggressive outbursts regularly.

Items: Balloon (from the girls), pills (for pain), mask

Flapjack Fiesta

Status: Immune

Sanity: 85%

Health: 99%

Flapjack Fiesta is the girls' substitute teacher, who took over from Ms. Hackney after she got infected. He was born in Unicornia to two unicorn parents, causing him to be immune to the virus as it only effects earth ponies. Bon Bon is using him as a case study. He's also now the girls' primary caregiver as they were separated from their parents.

Items: Maths compass (for self defence. He's surprisingly good at using it for this purpose), textbooks, "mobile" phone (BRICK)

Dr. Hooves

Status: Uninfected (Possible immunity?)

Sanity: 90%

Health: 100%

Dr. Hooves is one of Bon Bon's biggest supporters in developing a vaccine. Because of his name. She things he has a medical licence, but he doesn't realise this. He spends a lot of time caring for his sick companion, whom he is very protective of. He believes it is possible that timelords are immune to the virus, however, he still wants to protect himself just in case.

Items: Umbrella, Nitro-9, psychic paper

Scrub-a-Dub

Status: Infected (Stage 1)

Sanity: 60%

Health: 65%

Scrub-a-Dub is a crime scene cleaner for Coltville Decon who contracted the virus from the blood of an infected pony while she was at work. She is the doctor's companion and has been quarantined in the TARDIS since she was diagnosed. The epidemic has had a major impact on her mental and physical health.

Items: Kitty (emotional support), Swiss army knife, keepsake locket

Sweetheart

Status: Uninfected

Sanity: 99%

Health: 100%

Sweetheart seems to be the least effected by the stress of the epidemic and acts the way she always did. This, along with her lifelong dream of becoming a nurse, has helped her to take on a 'medic' role of sorts. Her bag is always filled with non-perishable foods - like her favourite chocolate - just in case of an emergency.

Items: Chocolate, torch, portable radio

Bright Eyes

Status: Uninfected

Sanity: 90%

Health: 90%

Bright Eyes is Bon Bon's lab partner and the brains of the operation. Unlike Bon Bon, she's much more level-headed and utilises her critical thinking skills to help her stay sane when under pressure. Though she isn't very skilled with weaponry, she makes up for it with her high intelligence. She is one of the most valued member of the team.

Items: Portable lab kit (give to her by Flapjack), rope, notebook and pen

Melody

Status: Uninfected

Sanity: 69%

Health: 83%

Melody has been traumatised after losing her twin sisters, Jing-a-Ling and Ting-a-Ling. Her house has been taken over by zombies so she no longer has access to her belongings, including her bass. For this reason, she's turned to poetry rather than music as a source of comfort. She isn't afraid to get her hooves dirty and is skilled with a blade.

Items: Surgical blade (stolen from her mother before they were separated), poetry book (from library), music player

[jknerd]

Multiverse Character: Ichabod Crane

Full Name: Ichabod Crane Nicknames: Mr. Crane, Ickie, Widows’ Heartbreaker Gender: Male Age: 30s Occupation(s): School teacher, Music teacher/tutor, dance tutor, demon/ghost hunter (occasionally) Family: Katrina van Tassel (lover->wife), Baltus van Tassel (father-in-law) Likes: Teaching his students, reading, diverse cuisine, singing, dancing, composing songs, Katrina van Tassel Dislikes: Harmful Bad luck/supernatural beings, his students in distress Character Ichabod Crane is a new teacher from New York, teaching students in music and dancing. Tall—reaching to 190 cm—and lean, he is known for natural talent in teaching, singing and dancing. According to teachers and student parents, he has strange magic to change boring choir concert into enthusiastic and lively gospel performances, making students listen to him, and is always swarmed with his admirers. During weekends, he would help the single mothers by spending time with their children and singing for their babies, hence earning positive reputation. Female students would occasionally flirt with him, because he was unlike any “jocks” or “inferior wannabes” for they are fallen by his mature demeanor. Children likes to hear a lot of ghost stories, urban legends, and cautionary tales from him. Currently, he is married to Katrina van-Tassel. According to the story of him and his wife, Ichabod was once Katrina’s music teacher during her teenage years and she had enormous romantic feelings for him, dumping the jock student Brom Bones for him and would blush whenever Ichabod compliments her. Additionally, it was Katrina who asked him out when they met again after her graduation from university as her father approved of him. In Hey Arnelle AU: In episode “Hots for Teacher”, Ichabod Crane has become a substitute teacher for music/drama in behalf of Mr. Simmons and Arnelle—in her Freshman Year—has developed a huge crush on him. She would write his names on her music notebook and gets embarrassed when her friends teased her of her crush on Mr. Crane. Though, Helgo doesn’t show distaste towards the teacher as the said man appreciates his artistic talent. Eventually, it is revealed that Ichabod is married to a wealthy Dutch beauty Katrina van Tassel. Katrina bonded with Helgo as she confessed she loved her husband ever since she was his high school student. In Fairly OddParents AU: Mr. Crane was introduced as Mr. Bickles’ best friend during their school years and has willingly accepted the offer to help Dimmsdale school in drama production. Admiring him, Timmy made a wish that Mr. Crane becomes a permanent teacher in Dimmsdale. When her wish was granted, she struggled to find a right timing to impress him as he was usually surrounded by his admirers—female students & teachers, even the single mothers! Jealous Tristan, Vernon, and other boys—angry that Ichabod has stolen Timmy’s attentions—formed their organization to get rid of him. Alarmed, Timmy sabotaged them while successfully canceled her wish. When she admitted she likes him, Mr. Crane kindly thanked her for enjoying his class and she blushed as he kissed her hand in polite manner, provoking the boys’ jealousy. In Courage the Cowardly AU: Ichabod Crane was introduced as Uncle Fred’s schoolmate. He was in Middle of Nowhere to teach teenage choirs a song for Halloween and encountered Courage who found his missing musical notes. Recently, there has been incidents where people were disappeared without a trace except pieces of pumpkins left behind. Learning the legendary horseman was targeting Ichabod Crane, Courage decided to make a trap for the Headless Horseman, only to reveal it was Brom Bones who was jealous of Ichabod’s marriage to Katrina. Seeing his fair, Uncle Fred proceeded to trim all of Brom’s hair. In Grimm Adventures of Billie & Manny AU: Mr. Ichabod Crane has become a music teacher in Endsville and has gained huge popularity as most attractive teacher, much to Mindwell’s dismay. Brom Bones was portrayed as PE teacher who has known Ichabod Crane and was bitter about him married to Katrina. When the Headless Horsemen led the army of pumpkin-headed/headless zombies, Ichabod displayed a surprising combating skills, defending Endsville against them as his enemy the Headless Horsemen yelled “WHAT THE FUCK?! HE’S AN EMO! HE’S A TWINK!! KILL HIM!!”, but all his army were permanently dead. Grima was impressed as her boss was thinking of recruiting Ichabod Crane as new reaper if he passes away. In Camp Lakebottom AU: Ichabod Crane has a cameo appearance as camp choirs critic with connections to recording company. When Jorah and Sully’s choir team performed, he wasn’t impressed with it due to their lack of musical talent. However, when Mackenzie, Sakurako and Gregory’s team performed, he was satisfied with their passion and talent, thus, announcing the Camp Lakebottom as winning team of Camp Choirs competition. In Gravity Falls AU: According to this universe, Ichabod Crane was actually named after his ancestor who served in US Army during War of 1812 along with Pines Twins’ ancestor. Dipporah has developed a crush on him when he was teaching teenage choirs of Gravity Falls for the Pioneer Day, but was devastated to know he is married. In Danni Phantom AU: Ichabod Crane work as music teacher in Casper High, gaining popularity as attractive individual. Danni considered him as second attractive adult next to Vlad Masters. Noticing her singing voice, Ichabod offered her a solo part for the choir. However, as the Fright Knight continuously disrupt the students’ rehearsals fighting Danni, new masked ghost hunter in motorbike showed up. Danni was surprised it was none other than Ichabod Crane, archenemy of Fright Knight who would nearly gets successful in exorcise the ghostly knight. In As Told By Gin AU: Ichabod Crane work as music teacher in Lucky High. He became Carly’s crush when he overlooked her harmless yet practical jokes while complimenting her drumming skills. Also, he teaches Curtis, Mir and Miki with their chorus/vocal lesson after school. Though, Curtis pouts in jealousy when Gin blushed by Mr. Crane’s compliments. In Spongebell AU: During working hours, Octavia fell in love with Ichabod Crane who helped her up when she nearly hurt herself falling on a floor. She becomes more attracted to him as both share love for music as they become friends. While Larry was heartbroken by this, William was insanely jealous and attempted to sabotage the music teacher, believing Octavia will stop liking him once he “no longer able to sing”. However, William was brutally beaten up by Katrina, Ichabod’s wife. While heartbroken of this discovery, Octavia remained friends with Ichabod. It is further revealed that Ichabod loves the burgers, he become Mrs. Krab’s favorite customer. In An, Ann & Anny AU: As substitute teacher of Peach Creek High, Ichabod Crane has become a most popular teacher as An, Ann and Anny admire him, developing a crush much to Rolf, Kevin, the Kanker Cousins’ dismay. An attempts to impress him by carrying his heavy books, Ann tries by getting perfect grade in his class, while Anny does by trying to look physically attractive. However, they were disappointed once they realized he is married to a beautiful woman Katrina Van Tassel. In Disney Retelling AU - Legend of Sleepy Hollow: Setting in modern times, it takes place when he was hired as teacher in Sleepy Hollow High. Beloved by students of Elementary to High school years, he become a popular queen bee Katrina’s crush, much to Brom Bones’ jealousy. Then, it is revealed that Ichabod Crane is a believer of superstitions and legends. The episodes most likely shows Brom Bones attempt to sabotage or humiliate Ichabod Crane in order to taint the teacher’s popularity and have Katrina for himself, but always ended up have his plan foiled by every circumstances. In Spy X Family AU: In the universe of Spy X Family AU, Ichabod Crane is a music, performing arts teacher in Eden College. Formerly, he was a tutor of Eden college mothers’ choir and for Demetrius’ opera lesson. When he worked in Eden college, he formed a quick bond with children of Cecile Hall as he has good friendship with Henry Henderson who often compliments “VERY ELEGANT” at his antics. When Damian had a fight with other students to take a solo part in order to impress Anya, Mr. Crane gave him good advices to reconcile with them. When Anya struggled to learn how to dance, he held her up and dances much to her joy and Damian’s jealousy. Later, he was invited to have dinner with Forger’s family, but it was Loid and WISE’s plan to gather information of Desmond family from him. However, Ichabod Crane expressed suspicion as he asked Loid why he keeps asking about Damian and his family instead of his own child’s academic/social/health. Catching his suspicion, Anya told him about her first day meeting Damian and lied that she talked a lot about him to her father. Eventually, Ichabod let go of his suspicion. In human!Beastars AU: In Cherryton Academy, Ichabod Crane is portrayed as music teacher, supervising musical clubs, dancing clubs, and other artistic extra curriculum. When the Drama club is preparing for musical performances, they would ask for his help with soundtracks and songs. Two of Legoshi's roommates Miguno and Durham has Mr. Crane as their homeroom teacher. Legoshi couldn't help but seems similarities and differences between him and Louis; while both are attractive and popular individuals, Louis is more of a man with firm authoritative charisma while Mr. Crane is a soft-spoken and polite gentleman.

[semper-legens]

37. Starter Villain, by John Scalzi

Owned: No, library Page count: 262 My summary: Charlie is a substitute teacher. Recently divorced, no money, and his only companion is his cat. When his estranged billionaire uncle dies, it's barely on his radar. Until, that is, he gets a mysterious request to attend his uncle's funeral, and assassins show up to stab his corpse. Now he's embroiled in the world of villainy, and there's no going back. Not while the dolphins are striking, at least... My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

I can't actually remember why I reserved this book. I think it was something I saw online and thought could be fun - a story about a man who suddenly inherits his reclusive uncle's business, only to find out that said uncle was a villain by trade and owns a volcano lair on a private island. What's not to love there? This kind of genre isn't usually my bag, but I came away from this book more enamoured than I thought I was going to be. Sentient cats, unionised dolphins, the secret lives of the wealthy and evil…there was a lot going on here, and I thoroughly enjoyed it all.

Our protagonist is Charlie, a thirty two year old admitted loser working as a substitute teacher after a divorce and falling out of his career as a business journalist. He's affable, snarky, largely in over his head, but warm-hearted and very likeable. Sure, he's a bit of a standard protagonist for this sort of genre, but when he starts actively taking charge and making decisions towards the midpoint of the book, he shows a lot of vibrancy and wit. And he's got his human sides, too. He's genuinely caring to Hera, his cat, he makes concessions to the striking dolphins that get them to listen to him and the company, and he cares about human life and about the downtrodden underclass. When he's in a burning hotel, he goes back for Hera. When confronted with the idea of killing a CIA agent, he's vehemently against it. And when the time comes for a supervillain showdown, he's careful to evacuate the civilians and minimise damage as much as he can. He cares, and that endeared me to him.

So yeah, about those cats and dolphins and such. The worldbuilding for this book is very much James Bond levels of villainy. Charlie's uncle engineered cats and dolphins with a human level of intelligence to use as spies and agents. The reality of this is that they're still treated like animals, which is unfair and unethical for a sapient species, and the book doesn't shy away from that! What was interesting was that, for all the book uses Bond gadgets and similar such nonsense, it was all in a realistic enough way that I could totally buy that this is just what rich men do behind the scenes. Are you telling me that you can't see Elon Musk with a Bond villain business and a volcano island? Exactly.

The plot in and of itself…like I said, this genre isn't really my thing, but it kept me engaged throughout. There's conspiracies within conspiracies regarding the secret league of villains that Charlie's uncle belonged to, and he's been thrust in at the deep end. The various villains are broke and need access to a cache of stolen artworks Charlie's uncle had on the island - Charlie's happy to give them over, as they were stolen by the Nazis and he wants nothing to do with them, but he has to outmaneuver the others who definitely want him dead over it. While also, you know, not enabling horrible rich men any more than they already are. In the words of the prophets, the plot starts coming and it doesn't stop coming, but I think that's to the book's benefit - keeps the action going and keeps the tension very well, while also managing to have enough downtime to properly humanise and characterise its characters. I had fun, and I'd definitely recommend it!

Next up, something from real life - a defector's tale.

[fancassticfiction]

I have some fun teacher stories for you from this week. Tonight's tales include Sleep Token chats, students keeping it so real, and an Aztec death whistle. (Warning: it's a bit long because I have a ton of stories.)

First, the Sleep Token stories.

Most recent one first! I have a cup. It's one of the resin tumblers that everyone who wants a side hustle has started making, but this one has the cover of Take Me Back to Eden on it. I think it's cool. One of my students saw it while I was taking a sippy-sip (because hydrate or die-drate). One of my students saw it, and he just laughs. I look at him and immediately clock why he is laughing.

Why did it make him laugh?

Well first off, I have a cup of the Seven Inches of Satanic Panic cover, so my having band cups is not new for them. It's just so typical of me, honestly.

Secondly, my students and I have been nerding it out about Sleep Token for weeks. Even though I regularly wear band merch (ST included), my students were surprised to find some Sleep Token songs already existed on our class playlist. One of my students requested a bunch of their songs for our classroom playlist. I have a Microsoft form where students can request new songs for our playlist whenever they want, and she smiled one day and said "Miss ______, you should really check the request form. I think you'll like what I chose."

I was wearing one of their shirts. I saw her requests. "Chickadee (I call my students that), two of those are already on the playlist." Her face lights up as she exclaims, "Wait, really?!?!?!"

"Yup, I'll add the rest of your requests though."

"Thank you! Are there any other songs of theirs on there?"

"I think I put 'Dark Signs' on there already." I ended up adding "The Summoning", "Alkaline", and "Take Me Back to Eden" for this student.

Returning back to the student who laughed about my cup, he asked me to pick a number between 1-10 one day during lunch. I immediately blurt out "4". No hesitation. I'm always here for some chaos.

"Oh of course this is what she would pick". He turns his phone to me to show me that I had picked the next artist he would listen to, and I saw Vessel on that screen. We then proceed the spend the whole 10 minutes of my lunch duty freaking out because he had heard about the doxxing and clearing of Instagram saga. The teacher I was on duty with just looks at us, confused.

Then Wednesday, my comics class was with me while I waited in the Ticketmaster queue for tickets. Tickets went on sale at 10. My planning period ended at 10:05...I had to wait in the queue a bit. We all sat in tense anticipation until the tickets were bought. They were supposed to be working on a project, but a whole group of my seniors were watching, crowded around my desk. We cheered when the tickets were obtained. This leads to my students later in the day being shocked that their English teacher is not boring.

Students Keeping It Real

I love the kids these days. They keep it so real with you. One of my students, who I've built a strong rapport with, was spending her lunch with me and my teacher bestie in her classroom. She and my teacher bestie were discussing how they used to not get long when she turns her attention to me:

"Miss _____, I'm really sorry. Before actually getting to know you, I though you were going to be a mean teacher. Like you were always in the hallways telling us to get to class and to stop kissing in the hallways. But, you know, you're actually one of the nicest teachers, and I, like, love you."

"Well thanks, hun." I was a bit confused, but this is not the first time her first impression of me had me stunned. Earlier in the week, about the time of the cup's debut, she heard me mentioning how I was hoping to get tickets for the tour. Her jaw drops.

"You go to concerts?!?!?!"

"Honey, you had a substitute for two days near the beginning of year, remember? I was at a Ghost concert."

"Are you for real?" I nod slowly to her in reply, eyebrow quirked as I try not to laugh at her shock. "Miss _____, imma be real with you. I didn't think you were cool like that."

Ouch.

For our, final story: the Aztec death whistle.

I have a student who goes to a vocational school for half the day where he gets to work on computers and such. That includes the chance to use a 3d printer. Now this child is an eccentric one. He's a bit of edgelord (affectionate), but he's charming as can be. He can annoy the heck our of you (he does it intentionally), but you just can't be mad at him.

Now, the lovely (and odd) little chickadee of mine decided to 3d print an Aztec death whistle.

And you should already be able to see where this is going.

He came into class, right after lunch. While I was talking to another student at my desk, he sneakily pulls out the whistle and blows into it.

Now before Friday, January 26th, 2024, I had never heard an Aztec death whistle in person. Now that has changed, and I can tell you...

those fuckers are loud.

All throughout the halls you can hear teachers, principals, and students freaking out while he begins silently laughing.

"Miss ______, it was an aztec death whistle." I'm stunned for only a second before my mouth (and my accent) beats my brain to the punch.

"Why the heck do you have an Aztec death whistle?!?!!?"

He merely shrugs. Another student I taught last year pops their head in panicking as they ask if I'm okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine. This chucklehead has an Aztec death whistle," I turn back to him saltier than a pretzel, "which he is putting on my desk until the end of class because I'm having a panic attack now." The student who was worried turns back to the teachers and the principal in the hallway to explain.

"Sorry, Miss _____." A pause. "It is pretty cool though, right? I 3d printed it in class."

"it is actually pretty cool."

[aishiteru-kenshin]

Kuzu no Honkai | Scum’s Wish

I need to talk about the psychological anime Kuzu no Honkai (Scum's Wish) by creator Mengo Yokoyari. Looking for a new anime to watch, I was reccommended this title, read the synopsis, and was immediately drawn to it. Different from the usual romance anime, it tells a tale of two highschool students, Mugi Awaya and Hanabi Yasuraoka, who come together because the ones they pine for are in love with other people. I'll be honest: when I first watched the anime, it went from me thinking, "This is perfect... It's totally breaking my heart how I can relate to these feelings" to "What the fu--?" The characters' actions simply spiralled and became so twisted due to the desires of their hearts, mental illness, and/or trauma. It was depressing — haunting, in fact. All of the characters are awful human beings — scum, effectively — using each other for their own selfish ends. It was so uncomfortable to see that I wanted to stop watching, but I couldn't give up when I'd become so invested in the story. I relate to Hanabi Yasuraoka most of all. When I was in school, I was just like her: an introverted loner, having no friends to really speak of and an unrequited love. At that stage in life, it's difficult. There are all these societal pressures and raging hormones. What do you do when the person most important to your heart doesn't notice you, doesn't return your affections, and is being stolen by another woman? What do you do when you burn with desire for another person but you know that there's no hope of you ever being together? Most people would lock themselves in their bedroom, engage in masturbation while listening to Evanescence, and wait days, weeks on end for the tsunami sweeping over their heart to finally abate. However, Hanabi meets Mugi and they find in each other something better than that: a warm substitute to share physical intimacy with, a listening ear to their pain and worries, and a commiserating heart to what they are going through together. Again, all of the characters are “scum” except really for Hanabi and Atsuya Kirishima. For example, for the worst scum we have a psychopath named Akane Minagawa who poses as a benevolent teacher by day but who is really an unapologetic slut who hunts after and sleeps with men that she perceives to be desired by other women, getting a high from seeing the pain she causes. We also have a lesbian schoolgirl named Sanae Ebato who basically rapes someone who only sees her as their best friend at a sleepover, manipulates that person to think they are the one at fault, and then proceeds to sexually assault/abuse her in the school library. Then, there are the lesser scum such as Narumi Kanai who has a mother complex, dating/marrying a woman who he knows sleeps around and who tells him frankly that she will cheat in the marriage which he is perfectly okay with (Hanabi, he has many fine qualities, but you deserve better). So, yes, so much vileness, but also... so much realism. While I wanted to initially hate this anime, I was inevitably struck by its honesty. The human heart is desperately wicked and loves indiscriminately; it is only by conscious effort and striving to love purely that people can transform that muddy well into a fountain of limpid water. Loneliness, past traumas, and pain can hamper that transformation but it always remains possible. By the end of the story, Hanabi and Mugi are in a better place. I wanted them to forge a new bond made of the genuine love and care they obviously feel for one another, but that doesn't really happen. They do acknowledge their affection and respect for each other, but decide to part ways to reflect on things alone and eventually search for the true love they yearn for. It was the right thing to do, after the maelstrom they experienced. All in all, the anime was equal parts beautiful and grotesque. The music, composed by Masaru Yokoyama who some may know also composed for Your Lie in April, is exquisite and truly added to the melancholic depth of the story. My only gripe would be that they didn't give us an OVA epilogue for the very end of the series as depicted in the manga "Scum's Wish Decor." It's within that, that we discover how everyone's doing a couple years later and if Mugi and Hanabi ever find the love and purpose they've been searching for.

[britneyshakespeare]

i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.

the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.

and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.

when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.

i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.

i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!

because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?

in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.

like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.

i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.

and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.

i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.

i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.

i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.

but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.

that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.

[hividsmarttv]

Ten Great Back-to-School Movies

Introduction: As the summer sun begins to wane, it's time to dust off your backpack, sharpen your pencils, and embrace the excitement of a new school year. Whether you're a student returning to the classroom or someone looking to relive the nostalgic days of academia, these back-to-school movies are the perfect way to ignite your academic spirit. From heartwarming tales of friendship to hilarious classroom antics, this list of 10 inspiring films is guaranteed to make you nostalgic for school days gone by.

1. Dead Poets Society (1989): Experience the transformative power of education in "Dead Poets Society." Robin Williams shines as an unconventional English teacher who inspires his students to embrace poetry and seize the day. This film celebrates the importance of individuality and the pursuit of knowledge.

2. Mean Girls (2004): Navigate the comedic world of high school cliques with "Mean Girls." Lindsay Lohan stars as a teenager who must navigate the treacherous social landscape while learning valuable lessons about friendship, self-confidence, and the consequences of conforming to societal norms.

3. Good Will Hunting (1997): Discover the untapped potential within oneself with "Good Will Hunting." Matt Damon stars as a janitor at MIT with extraordinary mathematical abilities. When he's discovered by a professor, he embarks on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

4. The Breakfast Club (1985): Join five diverse high school students as they serve Saturday detention and learn more about themselves than they could have ever imagined in "The Breakfast Club." This iconic film delves into the complexities of teenage identity and reminds us that people are much more than just the labels society assigns them.

5. Legally Blonde (2001): Embrace the power of determination and resilience with "Legally Blonde." Reese Witherspoon stars as Elle Woods, a fashionable sorority girl who defies expectations by enrolling in Harvard Law School. Through her journey, Elle proves that intelligence and ambition come in all forms.

6. School of Rock (2003): Get ready to rock out with "School of Rock." Jack Black portrays an unconventional substitute teacher who transforms his students into a rock band. This hilarious and heartwarming film emphasizes the importance of creativity, teamwork, and pursuing your passions.

7. Freedom Writers (2007): Experience the impact of an inspiring teacher in "Freedom Writers." Based on a true story, this film follows a young teacher who uses literature to inspire and empower her at-risk students, encouraging them to break free from their challenging circumstances.

8. Akeelah and the Bee (2006): Celebrate the power of determination and intellect with "Akeelah and the Bee." This heartwarming drama follows a young girl's journey to compete in a national spelling bee, highlighting the importance of education, community support, and believing in oneself.

9. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986): Embrace the spirit of rebellion and adventure with "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." Follow the charismatic Ferris as he orchestrates an epic day of fun, skipping school and reminding us all to occasionally let loose and enjoy life's simple pleasures.

10. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001): Step into the enchanting world of Hogwarts with "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." Join young Harry and his friends as they embark on magical adventures while learning important life lessons about courage, friendship, and the power of knowledge.

Conclusion: Whether you're a student gearing up for another academic year or simply reminiscing about your school days, these 10 back-to-school movies are sure to captivate, inspire, and remind you of the transformative power of education, friendship, and personal growth. So grab your favorite movie snacks, gather your friends or family, and prepare to embark on a cinematic journey that celebrates the joy and challenges of the school experience.

[summonhouse]

ok ermm questions about lawrie, 1. why did he decide to become a substitute teacher and 2. what does it do in its free time

this is a good question bc i realize i said "sweetheart is an au of lawrie" as if anyone knows Who lawrie is UHHH lawrie spotlight moment before answering;

art by slugwiki on here commission her 1 million times

hes for a roleplay i run which you can read a summary of here in a toyhouse advertisement or in a different format here on a tumblr blog in which ive written a few posts from lawries perspective actually

lawrence percival octavius ramsey sylvester sterling bartholomew jr ii is a wooden puppet/clock magically enchanted to come alive by his terrible terrible parents- however he has been lied to all his life and is entirely unaware that being made of wood is unusual and he believes hes a normal organic human and all that. his parents, clock and watch manufacturers, were killed by an angry mob after they used their magic to force people to work themselves to death, leaving lawrie extremely extremely depressed because he has been neglected so thoroughly he convinced himself his parents were very good loving people

WHY HE BECAME A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER:

one; after his parents death he spent a good year just in a dissociative coma before eventually attempting to return to acting like a human with meaningless minor motions, he wants to be a respectable man but has nothing to do so he begins to look for any job that will accept him so he doesnt continue just rotting in his home- if he has no job he has no purpose, two; the school he signs up to work at is evolution academy, an up and coming very well respected establishment advertising "unorthodox" teaching methods specifically trying to teach students practical things instead of what the headmaster mx dream deems as "useless" core curriculum stuff. lawries obsesssedddd with good image and what he sees as "respectable work" and real actual effort so he thinks the schools different approach is nice and he wishes to be a part of that, three; he has no qualifications, he never went to school and his parents hardly homeschooled him, despite this hed done a lot of reading up so hes not HELPLESS, but he certainly does not have any degree that would allow him to teach anything specialized, four; substitute teacher at ea means "mx dreams henchman" basically and hes forced to do all of the loose busywork around the school more than hes supposed to watch or teach students- mx dream specifically hires him because hes a fucking rube, major stunted attention whore who slurps up all the attention she gives him like a sponge and mx dream is intend to manipulate him, So despite his, to be frank, absolute fucking stupidity (hes terrible with interacting with people from, you know, the years of neglect) he is accepted into his position because due to that hes really, really easy to take advantage of (THE SCHOOL IS NOT GOOD), five; he really desperately wants to help everyone, he has an insanely strong sense of justice and right and wrong which is INSANELY SKEWED such that he believes capitalism and a strong economy will assist everyone- he wants everyone to have a good life and to get what theyre worth, genuinely, despite his idiocy approaching it, and he hopes working with younger people will allow him to help them- and he really, really hopes no one ends up like him or his parents. six; if he gets a job his coworkers are forced to interact with him Tee Hee hee attention whore moments

FREE TIME:

lawrie loooves reading, both nonfiction scientific diagram filled drivel, philosophy (especially if it fuels his own beliefs), and hes a BIG fan of artsy fiction (though he hates to admit that and is vocally against "frivolous pursuits" such as fictional story tales)... he also loves repairing broken timepieces (still doesnt know hes a clock but he deeply identifies with clocks, it reminds him of home and his parents).... ATM in the span of the rp he will not admit that he adores art and would love to create himself (his parents used to punish him for doing so) in the future whenever he gets over himself and is encouraged to act more like a person he will surely spend his time painting dramatic abstract paintings of himself and his friends, and working on plays with his (planned) boyfriend(s?)

sorry this is long LMAO im obsessed w lawrie ive said this b4 but he is my character of the year fr. i used him in a different rp at the start of the year from like jan-marchish and it died out in summer and eas been active sinceee like the end of september? and every time hes active he is All i can think about. SO theres a lot to say because i am Constantly thinking about his .. brain

[amalgamgooze]

amalgam stew I

I’ve got a million ideas of what to write right now and zero good ones. Here’s hoping all of them at once means anything.

(the scene begins)

Lonely Wanderer, What have you seen? What have you conquered? How many times have you fallen? Where are your friends? Who can you run back to, when times get hard and the way forward becomes unclear?

I’ve got an intense nostalgia for weekends spent in creative mode on the Xbox 1 version of Minecraft. Did you know the music of Minecraft changes depending on whether you’re in creative mode or not? I haven’t played creative mode in a hot minute. It’s been a while since I’ve heard the creative mode specific music from the actual game and not just the soundtrack.

There’s no hot sun above in this desert, but rather, a cold moon illuminating your sorrows.

The name “Amalgam Stew” comes from a dream I had a while ago about a nonexistent chess video game. Amalgam Stew was some character’s special ability, which used one of the other abilities in the game at random. How do special abilities in a chess game work? I don’t know!

Monaxia.

It’s a very heavy handed way to resemble loneliness in my story. (Monaxia comes from the Greek word for loneliness) (but then again, a lot of stories borrow from other languages for names)

Tonight I’m feeling tired and dizzy, stressed and confused. All very pleasant feelings, I guarantee you!

But I’ve got a legacy behind me! People have supported my past creations, support my current endeavors, and look forward to my future projects! I’ve got an audience cheering me on, and even if it’s not massive, it’s still motivating. I’m thankful for them. …I really hope that didn’t come off as arrogant or self important.

Lonely Wanderer, Spin me a tale of your sorrows. Talk of your heartaches and woes. You’ve got an interested audience here; it’d be a waste to, well, waste the opportunity!

And thankfully I’m not lonely anymore. That’s been resolved a long time ago. … but I still have the right to bitch about when I was lonely! … of course, it was my fault I was lonely for so long. I take full responsibility, ha-ha.

I’ve still done nothing with the pumpkin I’ve taken from my physics teacher, and I haven’t gone rock climbing since last month.

Have you ever been stuck in a dream where you wake up into another dream? I was once. Each time I woke up, the dream had remained mostly the same, but something was slightly different each time I woke up. By the time I’d actually woken up, the last iteration of the dream was totally different than the first. Rather intriguing, I suppose, but people who talk about their dreams often do so to substitute for a lack of other interesting things about them, right?

In the Long Night, The sun never comes out and the only eclipses you’ll get will be of the lunar variety.

…Because I keep having dreams that the upcoming eclipse will be disappointing because it’ll be too cloudy to see anything. I suppose even with clouds the whole world’ll still go dark, though. It’s not like I’ve been waiting for this eclipse for, uhh… seven years-ish now. It’s not like I’ve found significance in the previous eclipse occurring at a specific point in my life, and this next eclipse is an elegant narrative device used to remind the audience of where it all began as the story enters it’s final stages.Isn’t this all just so absolutely wacky? Aren’t I so random and quirky? Because that’s exactly how I don’t want to come off.

…I should’ve made root beer today instead of sleeping for half the day. Alas, we all live regrettable lives, do we not? Don’t spend too much time regretting, though. That’s no fun.

Oh well. What can I do now except for complain about it, anyway?

[mizkit]

new blog post: Release Day: WEAR WOLF!

new blog post on https://mizkit.com/release-day-wear-wolf/

Release Day: WEAR WOLF!

WEAR WOLF is available now!

I have to tell you that I am already–like, this is cool. Before the book even came out, I had a couple of people comment about the fact that my hero in this book is face-blind (has prosopagnosia), because they’d never seen a character with that disability before. I’ve had a couple more people comment since, and I’m really pleased to have brought a kind of representation to peoples’ attention with this book. I’m aphantasic (I don’t see pictures in my head), which is not unrelated to face-blindness, although I’m not actually prosopagnosiac (IDK if that’s actually a word, I might have just made it up) myself, so I have *some personal sense of not holding an image of…well, anything, actually…in my head, and hope I’ve done a reasonably good job depicting the condition.

Anyway! The book is out now, contains a hero with a lesser-known disability/condition, and also, oh, some of you might notice Noah’s only six in this, when he was eight in the recent Buck the Halls — you will correctly guess that WEAR WOLF is set about 18 months before Buck, shortly after HOLD MY BEAR, but like all the Virtue stories, is a standalone HEA that can be read in any order. :)

ONWARD!

Where oh WEAR could she be? Wolf shifter and fashion designer Zane Bellamy has a secret: he’s ‘face-blind,’ unable to recognize people easily no matter how often he’s seen them.

Victoria Hawthorne has a secret, too, but she’s a long-term substitute teacher, and if she’s learned anything from teaching first graders, it’s that the best way to keep a secret is to not tell anybody. She and Zane have that in common…but absolutely nothing else.

Haute couture collides with ordinary life when Vicki wins a dress design by Zane himself. She knocks him off his feet when they meet…and even so, his face-blindness means he won’t recognize her the next time they see each other!

Vicki has no real plans to put down roots, especially because some of Virtue’s founding families make it clear outsiders are unwelcome—although her students, especially six-year-old Noah Brannigan—don’t seem to feel the way the town elders do.

But when local-boy-made-good Zane returns to make her gown, everything changes in a heartbeat—even as Vicki fears there’s no way this instant attraction can turn into something lasting. And although Zane can’t deny the connection he has with Vicki, he’s never really believed in fate…until circumstances run out of his control and he realizes he’s about to lose everything. But thanks to Noah’s interference, Zane might have one last chance to make it right with Vicki, and earn their fairy tale ending.

Love is blind in WEAR WOLF, a charming, steamy standalone that will have you in stitches with a guaranteed happily ever after and no cliffhangers. If you’re looking for charming, funny paranormal shifter romance, buy now and fall in love with the Virtue Shifters!

*Thor: All words are made up dot gif

[the-camembert-rapport]

Nikki Haley Throws Her Hat in the 2024 Ring, South Carolina Says, "Hold My Sweet Tea

In the high-stakes poker game of presidential politics, Nikki Haley's pushing all her chips in on the Palmetto State, hoping to win big with a South Carolina royal flush. But here's the kicker—since Haley left the governor's mansion, South Carolina's been cozying up to another player, the one and only card shark of Mar-a-Lago. Looks like it's going to be a showdown at the GOP corral, and the home crowd might just be rooting for the other cowboy. Oh folks, buckle up, because it looks like South Carolina is turning into the WWE SmackDown of Republican politics, and the main event? None other than Nikki Haley going toe-to-toe with the human Twitterstorm himself, Donald Trump. That's right, the Palmetto State, where the sweet tea is as strong as the political allegiances, is now the battleground for Haley's 2024 dreams. Now, remember when Haley, as the governor, was like the cool substitute teacher who let you chew gum in class? Well, she threw her hat into the presidential ring faster than you can say "bless your heart," betting all her boiled peanuts on a South Carolina win. But hold your horses, because her home state's political compass has swung righter than a pendulum in a hurricane, thanks to—you guessed it—Trump. It's like watching a soap opera, really. Lieutenant Governor Henry McMaster, who probably thought Trump's "The Art of the Deal" was the new Bible, endorsed him back in 2016 right in Haley's backyard. Talk about a knife to the back or more like a tweet to the ego. And now, the same folks who put Haley in the governor's mansion are practically building a golden escalator for Trump's return. And let's not forget Senator Lindsey Graham, who once thought Trump would be the end of the GOP, is now snuggled up so close to him you'd think they were sharing a sleeping bag on a camping trip. The local bigwigs—lieutenant governor, attorney general, treasury secretary, and a choir of congressmen—are all singing "Stand by Your Trump." But Haley's not waving the white flag just yet. She's rallying the troops, calling on every pearl-clutching, sweet tea-sipping supporter to remember the good ol' days when she was the fresh face of the Tea Party movement. She's out there trying to convince everyone she's the political phoenix ready to rise from South Carolina's smoldering ashes, while Trump is drawing crowds so big you'd think they were giving away free barbecue. And then there's the soap opera twist! You've got Michael Burgess, a "never ever, ever Trumper," teaching AP U.S. History by day and lamenting the populist takeover of the Lexington County GOP by night. It's a tale of political heartbreak, shifting allegiances, and the search for the GOP's knight in shining armor—or should we say, knightess? But wait, there's more! Some folks like Allen Olsen feel Haley backstabbed them by not hoisting the Trump banner high enough back in 2016. It's like she took their political love letter and used it as a coaster for her mint julep. Still, there are those like Veronica Wetzel, who's been rocking a "Nikki 2024" hat since what feels like the Stone Age, ready to cast their ballot for Haley. Because in the end, it's not about which Republican can throw the best Twitter jab or host the rowdiest rally—it's about snagging that sweet, sweet victory in November. So as Haley and Trump circle each other in the South Carolina squared circle, with the crowd chanting and the stakes higher than a Myrtle Beach ferris wheel, one thing's for sure: this political showdown is hotter than a Lowcountry boil in July. And we're all just waiting to see who'll be left standing when the dust settles and the last "y'all" echoes through the air. SOURCE: Nikki Haley has bet her 2024 bid on South Carolina. But much of her home state leans toward Trump https://apnews.com/article/nikki-haley-donald-trump-south-carolina-56c0ceb5b1b93a46df87e9e88342f7f2 Read the full article

[excusethequality]

My 2023 in Film

Part 2:

51-100

You would think at 100 we would be getting close to the finish line for this list. But you'd be wrong, my friends! We've only just begun.

So strap in (or scroll on).

Link to Part 1

* = rewatched

[++] = I loved it [+] = I liked it [=] = I am indifferent about it [-] = Not my thing [--] = I hate it

Click on the list number to get a trailer for it.

51.

Closed Circuit (2013) ---Crime Mystery Drama

A pair of lawyers are tasked with heading the defense for a man said to be responsible for a terrorist attack. But they soon learn that there is something deeply sinister lurking behind this case and bringing it out into the light may just cost them their lives. [=]

52.

Relic (2020) ---Horror Drama

A woman must go back home to take care of her mother who is experiencing increasingly serious signs of dementia. But while struggling to come to terms with her mother's condition she begins to wonder if the cause is really that simple or if something sinister is at work in this house. [+]

53.

The Quiet Girl (2022) ---Drama

A young girl from a troubled home in Ireland is sent to live with her aunt and uncle on their farm while her mother prepares to have another baby. But in this new place she learns what it means to be truly free and truly loved. [+]

54.

Pusher (1996) ---Crime

When a drug dealer's drug deal goes south he must scramble to come up with the money he lost before his boss makes an example of him. [+]

55.

Hanna (2011) * ---Coming-of-Age Action Adventure

A girl lives with her father in the wilderness and is taught how to survive in a dangerous world. But in order to be free and to truly experience the world, they must first stop those that seek to use her as a weapon. [++]

56.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) ---Horror Comedy

A group of friends go for a weekend cabin getaway. But when one of them winds up dead everyone becomes a suspect. [-]

57.

The Rundown (2003) ---Action Adventure

A man is sent to the jungle to bring back a mobster's son. But things are going to get a lot harder when the man doesn't want to come back until he's tracked down the treasure he's been hunting. [=]

58.

Come to Daddy (2019) ---Thriller Horror Comedy

A man tries to reunite with his estranged father only to find out that the experience is not at all what he was expecting. [=]

59.

INU-OH (2021) ---Animated Queer Fantasy Rock-Musical Revenge Tale

A blind musician and a cursed dancer meet by chance and form a band that seeks to tell the stories of those that history wants to forget. But their mission soon pits the pair against a government who wants to silence them forever. [++]

60.

Sicario (2015) ---Crime Thriller

An FBI agent is recruited to help with a joint task force to aide in the drug war along the US/Mexico border. Unfortunately for her Ethics and Morals were definitely not invited to join the force. [-]

61.

Birdman or (the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014) ---Drama Comedy

An aging former movie star is attempting to make his theatrical debut, but his attempts at rebuilding his life and career are forever at odds with his desire for fame and fortune. [=]

62.

Never Been Kissed (1999) ---Rom-Com

A former high school outcast and current adult journalist infiltrates a high school by posing as a student in order to get a scoop. [=]

63.

Rudy (1993) ---Sports Drama

A young man dreams of playing college football for Notre Dame to impress his father and refuses to let his lack of physical aptitude get in the way of his dreams. [=]

64.

School of Rock (2003) * ---Comedy

A down-on-his-luck rocker pretends to be his roommate in order to get a job as a substitute teacher at a prestigious private school. But his mission for money soon turns into a mission of Rock when he learns the kids in his class are talented musicians. [+]

65.

Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) ---Action Adventure Horror

During the French revolution a naturalist of the king and his Iroquois companion are sent to investigate the mysterious killings in the Gévaudan area. [-]

66.

Dante's Peak (1997) ---Natural Disaster Action Adventure

A volcanologist is sent to investigate some strange readings in a small town. But he soon begins to suspect that an unprecedented eruption is imminent. [+]

67.

Smoking Causes Coughing (2022) ---Surrealist Sci-fi Comedy?

A band of French Power Ranger-style heroes called the Tobacco Force are forced to go on team-building retreat. [=]

68.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) * ---Comedy Adventure

King Arthur and his knights of the round table are on a quest to find the holy grail. [+]

69.

The Wicker Man (1973) ---Folk Horror Mystery

A detective is sent to a small island town to investigate a report of a missing child. But he soon learns that something is afoot here and he might be in danger. [+]

70.

Possessor (2020) ---Sci-fi Horror Thriller

A secret organization uses a new technology to link their minds to a target's in order to perform untraceable assassinations. The process is not without risk, however, and the longer they stay in the target's body the higher the risk of the two minds beginning to meld together. [+]

71.

Tombstone (1993) ---Western

A former lawman is planning to retire to Tombstone, Arizona with his brothers. But a run-in with an outlaw gang is going to force his hand and postpone retirement for a little bit. [+]

72.

Witchfinder General (1968) ---Folk Horror

A family must struggle to survive when a corrupt witchfinder sets his sights on them. [=]

73.

The Birdcage (1996) * ---Queer comedy

A queer couple who own a drag club must pretend to be straight in order to try and impress the conservative family of their son's new fiancee. [+]

74.

Gattaca (1997) * ---Sci-Fi Drama

In a future where the genetics of babies can be tailored before birth, those created the old-fashioned way are marginalized. In order to fight against the fate of his birth a janitor teams up with a down-on-his-luck member of the upper class in order to live his dream. [++]

75.

Road Games (1981) ---Road Trip Thriller

A truck driver in Australia begins to suspect that the driver of a green van he keeps encountering has been murdering women along the way. [=]

76.

Jesus Christ Superstar (1973) ---Rock Opera

A movie adaptation of the 70s rock opera about the final days of the life of Jesus of Nazareth. [-]

77.

Sputnik (2020) ---Sci-Fi Horror

A Russian psychiatrist is sent to investigate the mental state of an cosmonaut who has returned from a space mission with a dangerous stowaway inside of him. [=]

78.

She Dies Tomorrow (2020) ---Sci-Fi Horror

A woman suddenly becomes convinced that she will die tomorrow. But trouble is soon to follow when the idea starts infecting others as well. [-]

79.

Girl Asleep (2015) ---Coming-of-Age Fantasy Comedy

A 15 year old girl finds herself lost between childhood and adulthood in a world where nothing is stable and imagination is running wild. [+]

80.

The Rental (2020) ---Horror

A group of friends rent an airbnb. Unfortunately the reviews didn't mention anything about the place being rigged with hidden cameras and ill intentions. [=]

81.

Paddington (2014) ---Children's Adventure

A marmalade loving bear journeys from Peru to England in search of a home. A British family takes pity on him and agrees to aide him in his search. [+]

82.

West Side Story (2021) ---Musical

The remake of the 1961 movie which was based on the 1957 Broadway musical which was an adaptation of William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. [--]

83.

Rat Race (2001) * ---Comedy Adventure

A group of people from a Las Vegas casino are chosen at random to participate in a race for two million dollars and the amusement of eccentric rich people. [+]

84.

Return to Seoul (2022) ---Drama

A French woman finds herself in Korea and decides to try and find her birth parents. [-]

85.

INU-OH (2021) *

See #59

86.

Stone Turtle (2022) ---Magical-Realism Folk Tale

A looping Malaysian folk tale about a woman, a daughter, vengeance, guilt, and turtle eggs. [=]

87.

Hot Rod (2007) * ---Comedy

A wannabe stuntman tries to arrange a massive stunt in order to raise the money needed to save his ailing stepfather. [++]

88.

Isolation (2005) ---Horror

A genetic experiment to create faster growing cattle goes horribly wrong on a remote Irish farm. [=]

89.

Fire Island (2022) ---Queer Romance

A group of queer friends are traveling to an Island for the annual queer party that's held there in this adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. [=]

90.

Antiviral (2012) ---Sci-Fi Horror

In the future genetic technology will allow fans to do everything from eat cloned meat of their favorite celebrities to being injected with the exact strains of diseases they've had—for the right price. But when one of the workers at a celebrity contagion clinic infects himself with unknown strain from the world's hottest starlet he will soon come to regret that decision in more ways than one. [+]

91.

West Side Story (1961) * ---Musical

A pair of star-crossed lovers in 1950s NYC inadvertently set off a gang war. [+]

92.

The Girl with All the Gifts (2016) ---YA Horror

After a zombie outbreak destroys the world as we know it, scientists at a military compound work with a group of intelligent zombie children to try and find the cure. [=]

93.

Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003) * ---Bollywood Musical Romance

A magical pixie dream man comes to town and works to repair the broken relationships of the family next door. [+]

94.

Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell (1995) ---Indie Horror

A low-budget Japanese love letter to the Evil Dead movies. [=]

95.

A Cry in the Dark (1988) ---Drama Biopic

A biopic about the famous Australian case of a family that claimed a dingo ate their baby daughter while on a road trip and the world that didn't believe them. [+]

96.

Evil Dead Rise (2023) ---Horror

Hey...it's The Evil Dead...but it's in an apartment complex now...'ey it's the modern day too. Look at this modern stuff, that's cool, right? [--]

97.

Pulse (2001) ---Horror Mystery

The internet is haunted with ghosts. [+]

98.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3 (2023) ---Superhero Space Adventure

The Guardians need to solve the mystery of Rocket's past in order to save his life. [=]

99.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) ---Superhero Sequel

When Eddie Brock and Venom accidentally get a serial killer infected with their symbiote baby it's up to them to set things right. [-]

100.

Pearl (2022) ---Horror

A young woman in 1918 dreams of getting away from the oppression and loneliness of her life. But the combination of desperation and trauma can lead a person to break in the most peculiar ways. [+]

[davidsaghizadehblogs]

The Lake

In the realm of horror, the adaptation of a written work to a visual medium can be both thrilling and challenging. Such was the case with "The Lake," a short story that marked a significant milestone for its author, who, after nearly three decades in the horror genre, witnessed the transformation of their creation into a visual narrative. The excitement of seeing one's work come to life, however, collided with unexpected challenges during the production process. The narrative unfolds around a woman seeking solace in a lakeside cabin, shrouded in mystery about her past. The character, a substitute teacher, becomes a central figure, and her decision to invite a student to help renovate her new abode sets the stage for suspense. Despite the lack of overt racial themes, the storyline delves into the complexities of empathy, isolation, and the unknown. The initial vision painted a picture of a shabby, dilapidated house, the only redeeming quality being the lake. However, the harsh reality of location scouting revealed a discrepancy between imagination and reality. Instead of a run-down dwelling, the crew discovered picturesque lakefront houses, possibly Airbnb accommodations. This deviation from the intended setting stirred initial disappointment, with the director sharing in the sentiment. The discrepancy between the envisioned dilapidation and the actual location raises intriguing questions about the role of settings in horror. The author's inclination toward a shabby house stemmed from a belief that dilapidated spaces evoke a primal fear, a tangible reminder of mortality. The decaying remnants of the past, such as antique furniture, contribute to the eerie atmosphere by emphasizing the endurance of the house through time, outlasting its inhabitants. The juxtaposition of the picturesque lakefront houses with the horror genre's traditional dilapidated settings challenges the conventional visual cues associated with fear. While the dialogue in the script may seem incongruent with the lavish surroundings, a deeper exploration reveals that horror can manifest in unexpected places. The dissonance between expectation and reality adds a layer of complexity to the viewing experience, prompting a reevaluation of what constitutes a haunting setting. Upon rewatching, the initial disappointment with the location choice diminished. The tension between the serene exterior and the potential horrors within the seemingly perfect houses contributes to a unique blend of beauty and unease. This unconventional approach challenges preconceived notions about horror aesthetics, suggesting that fear can exist even in the most idyllic settings. In conclusion, "The Lake" offers a fascinating journey into the intricacies of adapting horror from the written word to the screen. The divergence from the anticipated dilapidation underscores the malleability of horror conventions, inviting audiences to reevaluate their expectations. The visual narrative, despite initial reservations, ultimately weaves a tale that transcends traditional horror settings, proving that fear can lurk in the most unexpected places, even within the walls of a seemingly perfect lakefront home.