#talk about my oc stuff but i need to get over the crippling fear of feeling stupid about it
Text
i should be more deranged on this blog
#i keep wanting to like#talk about my oc stuff but i need to get over the crippling fear of feeling stupid about it#my oc stuff in my head: YES FUCK YES I'M A GENIUS THIS IS SO GOOD#my oc stuff when i talk about it: oh my god this sounds so fucking dumb when i say it out loud#there's also the addition of like. me not knowing *how* to talk about my character stuff and the fact that stuff is so fluid#like i've had this blog since.....2016? and you can go back to some old shit here but it's not accurate at all#so i think i have some concerns about telling people things that won't be true in six months' time bc it all changes so much hgfkdhglf#but ALSO i want people to know about my ocs and be excited about them#we'll see. we'll see#first order of business is updating this blog tho bc i use it but i don't *use* it
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nigel and Frank
Alrighty! I’m posting my silly lil Pizza Tower OCs, are they perhaps too serious for a game like this? fgjkdjgfkd probably- I made Franks fucking horrifying ...Unintentionally technically but then when I thought about his appearance i was like
ah,, thats horrible- uhhh TWs for Murder (blame Frank for that one) and a Panic Attack
also if you see anything inconsistent ignore it fgjkdldkjfsd all my OCs change over time, also tried to work on them when I was still exhausted
but either way,, take these two while I work on the third and final one
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Names: Nigel and Frank
-------------------------------
| Nicknames: Nigey (nigh-gee) and Franky or Franks
-------------------------------
| Genders: Nigel goes by He/They and Frank goes by He/Him
----------------------------------
| Ages: Idk specifics for ages for these idiots but they are adults
--------------------------
| Heights: Nigel is 4’11” meanwhile Frank is 6’8”
---------------------------------
| Species/Races: Nigel is a Pizzard and Frank is one of those, idk if those things have a name unfortunately but its the weird butcher sausages in that one fnaf inspired level
------------------------------------
| Occupations: Nigel is a fucking W I Z A R D, they magic! And Frank is just,, a butcher
-----------------------------
| Eye Colors: Nigel’s eyes are just black pupils and Frank’s… Eugh… He just carved Xs for his eyes (no real reason for the Xs, it was just the easiest) and he even carved himself a mouth, don’t ask me how but he has razor sharp teeth (are they his? …Maybe)
----------------------------------------
| Body Types: Nigel I guess is average? He’s just, a shadow dude- Frank is big and w i d e.
| Appearances: They’re appearances are nothing special- like… Literally they just wear the outfits they do in game because I’m too lazy to think of anything else, the funniest thing though, if you take Nigel’s cloak off- They are just a shadow figure, just eyeballs on a shadow-
---------------------------------------------
That’s about all I can say seeing as I’m not changing anything here sooo… (I only really changed the butcher sausage, giving Frank X eyes and teeth and a mouth)
---------------------------------------------------------
| Personality: Onto the personalities of these lads! So like,, Nigel knows he’s supposed to be an enemy to that,, weird pizza guy- Peppino? Yeah, that’s his name- …Weird… Name but aight- whatever- They literally do NOT want to deal with that chef, yeah no fuck that nonsense- Nigel wants no part of Peppino.
--------------------------------------------------------------
They’d never admit it even though they’ve made it blatantly obvious but they are scared of that bastard, he’s seen the way he’s fucking just RUN at enemies and that alone was enough to make Nigel shake his head and go ‘yeah I’m not doing this’
--------------------------------------------------
Literally fucking b o l t s when they see the chef in the fucking DISTANCE even if he’s not approaching them, wants nothing to do with him- Aside from his crippling fear of the chef, Nigel is actually pretty chill despite his role, he can be kind when he wants to be, and even friendly.
----------------------------------------------------------
Nigel does have anxiety, especially social anxiety as they don’t usually tend to socialize around others, not even the other Pizzards, they just prefer to be by themselves or hanging out with Frank (I’ll explain how those two met in side facts)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Overall, Nigel can be kind and friendly if you get past the social anxiety/anxiety in general, got whatever the fear of Chefs would be despite their role of being an enemy that needs to stop him, and hell tbh they just do not give a shit, they wanna do their own things-
------------------------------------------------------------
He’s also a huge nerd who loves to talk about the magic he’s learned and overall he’s REALLY big into fantasy stuff (Nigel would love DnD) can talk your ears off about a lot of fantasy themed things and or magic stuff.
----------------------------------------------------
Now onto Frank, oh yeah, he’s a fucking nightmare- He’s VERY MUCH not as chill as Nigel can be, he’s aggressive, cruel, mean, and pretty evil ngl- Franks just stalks about the place usually, looking for any intruders even though they do got alarm systems but he just can’t fucking lay there all night, he gets so b o r e d in that place.
---------------------------------------------------
Franks knows it's against the rules, he shouldn’t be leaving that dumb decrepit restaurant because it’s not allowed but given his size and stature… If anyone is THAT dumb to try and tell him he can’t or try to stop him, well, guess he’ll find a really nice place to put that cleaver of his.
-----------------------------------------------------
It depends on his mood, he very much enjoyed scaring the hell out of that chef, uh, Pepperoni? …Peppers? …Tony? …Whatever the fuck his name was- Frank doesn’t care about his name, he’s just here to fucking murder because he’s a bastard.
------------------------------------------------
…Franks WON’T deny however, that chef has some fucking s p e e d, like god d a m n- He can move so fast when he wants to and it’s honestly a little unnerving even for him, does find it funny though when he just fucking BARRELS into enemies, laughs when they get obliterated.
--------------------------------------------
He takes pleasure in others misfortunes and suffering, he’s a huge sadist, that much is a given- When he’s NOT being a horrible disgusting bastard, he’s either patrolling the restaurant, sneaking out to see Nigel, and or just doing what he does best, butchering …N-Not necessarily JUST a being of course.
--------------------------------------------------
Speaking of Nigel, how the hell these two became friends is the fucking mystery of the century, because if anyone saw Franks approaching them, they’d think oh he’s going to fucking murder that guy oh no- But nope, he just ruffles the other’s hat and asks how’s it goin’?
---------------------------------------------------
Franks is secretly pretty protective over Nigel, won’t let anyone mess with him- No, he’s the only one allowed to mess with Nigey- And oh does he fucking mess with the other, he loves to pull pranks on them, he knows they’re scared of that chef too so sometimes he likes to be a little mean.
---------------------------------------------------
And well he’ll be like “Heh, hey Nigey, that chef’s coming” at first Nigel believed him every time and would fucking run up a tree or ANY kinda platform to try and get away bc he didn’t want to get fucking obliterated by the Italian Flash meanwhile Frank just laughed at him, now he’s not as quick to believe it but even then, Nigel still doesn’t wanna risk it.
------------------------------------------------
Because what if this is the ONE time Franks is not lying? Franks thinks it's fun to mess with Nigey but he knows the other’s limits and he knows not to push them too far, deep down, Frank actually genuinely does care about Nigel, hell if Peppino actually d i d start approaching him, Franks would legit stand to oppose him.
-----------------------------------------------------
Franks ain’t letting n o b o d y hurt Nigel, hell, he’s been afraid a few times himself that he’d hurt them because he’s a big fella and he’s REALLY strong at that, wouldn’t even need to use a weapon to hurt anyone, could easily just crush them with his bare hands.
-------------------------------------------------------
Also Franks doesn’t give a shit if your Peppino or not, he’s an enemy to fucking EVERYONE …ExceptNigelahem- But he’s a fucking menace to society, if he wants to, he’ll butcher you-
-----------------------------------------------------
| Side Facts: (I fucking forgot about Gustavo and uh, Brick- Nigel isn’t scared of him at all, thinks the giant rat is kinda cool- doesn’t get near him because of... You know who... While Franks thinks the rat is cool too but Gustavo? Just another lamb to the slaughter to him)
--------------------------------------------------------
How Frank and Nigel met was an… Interesting one, honestly Nigel had just been wandering around, he was looking for something for one of his potions and apparently this weird honestly creepy ass looking restaurant had exactly the item they needed!
-----------------------------------------------------
So Nigel went in looking for it and uh needless to say he fucking HATES that place, absolutely terrified of that place- Literally will never step foot in there again (...Unless Franks needed help of course)
--------------------------------------------------
He got chased by these… Well he’s not sure what they were, it was like some freaky looking animatronics- IF they were actually animatronics, honestly Nigel didn’t know and didn’t care, not his business if they were organic or not- He was here for one item and that’s it.
---------------------------------------------------
Nigel set off so many of those,, alarm things, they weren’t sure what to call ‘em but they set s o many of those fucking things off lmao
---------------------------------------------------
Frank however wasn’t laying there like they do in the game tho lmao, nah, he was already patrolling when he heard the alarm, he was e x c i t e d, eager- Because holy shit, finally an intruder!
--------------------------------------------------------
Frank found him with the slightest ease tbh, it wasn’t that hard with how much he yelped and screamed, oh they were v e r y easily scared, that’d be fun- He was surprised to find it was one of them… Pizza Wizards, one of them lil guys, he’s encountered a lotta things before.
-----------------------------------------------
Franks was curious because, what the hell was one of them lil guys here for? He stalked them for a good bit, just seeing what they were doing, also watching them run from the others and trying not to laugh at his misfortune.
-------------------------------------------------
Eventually Nigel found one of the items he had been searching for this entire time, he looked s o fucking happy, holding the item high above his head “I-I did it… Haaa… Hahahaha” …Oh, okay, maybe they had cracked just a little bit, that was a maniacal cackle-
---------------------------------------
Franks then just stood in front of the mmm, only exit, blocking Nigel’s path entirely- He was still celebrating his victory when he saw a shadow cast in the doorway and then they turned around, eyes wide “...You’ve got to be kidding me, that’s not faaiirrr…” …He sounds a little angry lmao and he’s complaining.
--------------------------------------------------
Frank literally just laughs and waves to the small Pizzard “Hey there lil fella, got a problem?” (That’s another thing he does, he constantly pokes fun at Nigel’s height) This leads to Nigel complaining about this entire damn restaurant and this makes Frank sigh afterwards when Nigel gets through “...Ya done yet?”
-----------------------------------------
Nigel then looks up in thought, opening his mouth a few times before shrugging “Yeah, okay, I got nothing more” Franks then started approaching the other who readied a lightning bolt “S-Stay back! Don’t you d a r e c-come any cl… Closer!”
----------------------------------------------
Franks of course doesn’t stop, he’s just grinning, showing off his sharp teeth- “Ya know, if ya fire that there lightning bolt, it’ll cause a fuss, and that fuss’ll cause them alarm bots to come investigate, which’ll prompt th’ others to also investigate”
-------------------------------------------------
Nigel’s eyes narrow at that “...And if I DON’T, I’ll still die, because YOU will just kill me, so what does it matter? I’m damned if I do or don’t, at least I won’t go out without a fight!” Franks then pauses at that, thinking for a moment before nodding “Eh, I reckon yer right”
-------------------------------------------------
Alright I really don’t,, wanna turn this into no mini-fic (It’s a little too late for that one, past me) so I’ll cut to the chase. Frank actually applauds Nigel for making it THIS far, applauds for actually getting they’re hands on the item they came here for, in fact, he’s so impressed… That he legit moves to the side.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Which surprises the hell out of Nigel but they think it's a trick, even accusing the other that if they come closer, then the other will surely strike them- Franks feigns being hurt by such ‘cruel words’ and then says that he guesses Nigel doesn’t want the secret shortcut outta here.
----------------------------------------------------------
There was a pause from Nigel, momentarily before they cautiously ask about the shortcut, to which Frank tells them they should apologize for ‘’hurting his feelings’’ …They groan and begrudgingly apologize.
-----------------------------------------
Franks then motions for them to follow him, Nigel has a lotta anxiety and paranoia about this moment, because this feels like he’s being lead to his death.
-----------------------------------------------
Why should he trust the other? He’s one of them damned butchers! So why wasn’t he… Chasing him? T R Y I N G to kill him in SOME way? …It didn’t make sense, he followed behind Frank but from a safe distance.
------------------------------------------------
…Much to Nigel’s surprise, Frank didn’t lie, he actually led them out safe and sound, this way had n o animatronics nor alarms, nothing- It was calm, quiet, and clear as could be- Franks had talked about this being his special way out of the restaurant without being questioned.
-------------------------------------------------------
Of course when they got to the end, Nigel questioned Frank, asking him why he was helping them escape? …Why was he doing this? Why wasn’t he swinging that cleaver down or- or SOMETHING! Nigel had been narrowly escaping death all night so why… Wasn’t Franks doing the same?
-----------------------------------------------------
…The funny thing is, Franks didn’t have an answer then, he just snapped at Nigel and said that if he don’t get going, he’ll change his mind and Nigel WILL be on the end of that cleaver, so he heard that loud and clear and began scampering out of there before pausing and turning around.
-------------------------------------------------------
“...What’s your name?” There was a pause from the sausage butcher who had turned around and had begun to walk away before that question popped up “...Frank” And then Nigel spoke up “...Thank you, Frank… I’m Nigel, it uh, heh… I guess you could say it was nice… MEATing you”
--------------------------------------------------------
And oh Nigel has a cute lil snort when he laughs- Franks couldn’t help it, he let out a full on belly laugh at the other’s stupid pun, which made Nigel feel all giddy- He then turned around, a big toothy grin on his face “...Yer alright, lil fella… I’ll see ya around”
--------------------------------------------------
And so that’s how those two met essentially- Nigel still complains about that damned restaurant because holy fuck is it terrifying, he doesn’t know how or why Frank stays there- …But then again they also have no fucking clue how Frank found where they lived-
----------------------------------------------------
It’s best not to question it- Either way, the two have been friends from the beginning …Maybe a lil more- Who knows- Ahem-
--------------------------------------------------
Nigel and Frank are curious about one another’s… Occupations, if you could call it that- Frank is curious about the magic stuff and Nigel is curious about the whole… Butcher thing …L-Less so if it involves butchering a person however.
-------------------------------------------------
Frank has ‘destroyed’ (more so just roughed em up) some of the animatronics/other butchers and even alarms for Nigel, he ain’t ever cared for the others anyways- They just… Aren’t as sentient as he is, not even the other butchers- They follow protocol or whatever, while he does what the fuck he wants lmao.
----------------------------------------------------
Franks has a deep southern accent and Nigel has a bit of an Irish accent.
---------------------------------------------------------
Nigel is Gay while Frank is Bisexual. (They’re in love with each other lmao)
----------------------------------------------------
I have some juicy lore for the lads now that I’m not baked on meds and anesthetic- Sooo! For some of the bosses, yeah they’ve met em-
Uhh spoilers I guess bc I literally just fucking realized Pizza Tower hasn’t been out that long- jfkdjgdfs- i really need to pay closer attention smh,, but either way BOSSES MENTIONS DOWN BELOW
---------------------------------------------------
Franks hates pretty much everyone who ISN’T Nigel- so he hates all the bosses- but first up I suppose- Pepperman-
--------------------------------------------------------
Nigel is more so neutral toward him, the both of them think he’s too narcissistic for his own good, nothing much there tbh- so moving on!
---------------------------------------------
Next up is The Vigilante, honestly? Franks and Nigel like the cowboy aesthetic he’s got going on.
----------------------------------------------------------
Nigel sometimes asks about cowboys and the western aesthetic in general, he likes The Vigilante well enough- not necessarily friends or anything like that but he thinks the other is cool …Although there’ll be no more chances of him e v e r being able to fire a gun again…
------------------------------------------------------------
The Vigilante doesn’t want a bullet hole put through him and Nigel fucking sucks at guns- he can aim his magic lightning bolts and such just fine but not a gun, The Vigilante doesn’t know a thing about the magic stuff, so they learn from each other tbh.
---------------------------------------------------------
They haven’t met that weird Pizzaface/Pizzahead thingy- I should go ahead and get that out of the way.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Noise …Oh my fucking g o d Nigel fucking HATES that thing s o goddamn much, has struck him with so many lightning bolts but the fucker just DOESN’T go away! He’s so loud and obnoxious and just, just… INSUFFERABLE- Franks won’t deny, he fucking hates the thing but…
---------------------------------------------------
It can be kinda funny to watch Nigel get angry and try to hit him with lighting bolts, Franks still thinks he’s very annoying, nothing changes there- …Frank has nearly butchered him out of anger once before Nigel stepped in and dragged him away somewhere, he wasn’t doing it to protect that pest, he was doing it to protect Frank tbh.
---------------------------------------------------------
But also legit uh they had some business that needed taken care of tbh, but either way- now the BEST parts of the lore…
--------------------------------------------------------
Fake Peppino- or Feppino/Feppi- …Nigel was the only one to encounter that… Thing, and he’d take dealing with The Noise over this Feppi- Nigel was literally just minding his own business when he encountered it, they had been reading up on a new spell they had been trying so hard to cast.
----------------------------------------------------------
He eventually bumped into something because the dumbass decided hm, yes, I’ll read while walking- Nothing can go wr- BAM- Right into a wall… After recollecting themselves, they got up, dusting themselves off and then their spellbook before looking at…
------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, a pizzeria? …Bruzo’s Pizza? …Nigel then mentally smacks himself bc its fucking Bruno’s Pizza- the N is just falling off- but that wasn’t the only thing falling apart…
------------------------------------------------------
The whole fucking building was falling apart it seemed, old and decrepit- The windows on it were boarded up but also broken, but what caught Nigel’s eye the most was a piece of paper tacked to the wall “...Danger…?” And it just had a pair of eyes in the darkness.
----------------------------------------------------
And Nigel nearly fucking drops they’re spellbook when they see eyes and hands in a darkened boarded up doorway, however when Nigel blinked those limbs and eyes were gone “W-What the hell…?”
-----------------------------------------------------------
Okay, yeah, Nigel should just run- Run right now- There was no point in investigating, what did he care about some old pizzeria?! Welp ya know how curiosity can be, and Nigel r a r e l y comes through this kinda area, he had just needed to get out and wander- get some fresh air-
--------------------------------------------------------
…So Nigel basically goes up and takes the boards off the door …With the help of his magic because of course, after that they then call out “Hello? …Is someone in here?” …And then there’s a pause “...Do you need any help?”
--------------------------------------------
They don’t hear an answer, cautiously, they take a timid step inside, fidgeting with their gloved hands “If y-you need uh, need an… Any help, I-I can…! I-I um, i-if you're hurt I mean!” …Nothing until he heard something fall that startled him, almost like a spotlight turned on and that lit up the room somewhat.
-----------------------------------------
…Okay, Nigel was getting more nervous by the second- And then they looked at the sign that was illuminated and their eyes widened “...P-Pepp…ino’s… Pi…zza…” They struggled to get out, now it’s not necessarily because of their anxiety toward h i m but because this wasn’t right!
-----------------------------------------------
“...This… I-Isn’t… P-Peppino’s place…? What the-” And then suddenly the light went out and then came back on and oh holy fuck it got so much worse, the sign now just said that name over and over but the worst bit was… There were those eyes again, those eyes now in a hole in the wall, staring intensely at Nigel.
-----------------------------------------------
There were legs sticking out of different places, those legs were f a r too wide apart to look remotely normal and oh there was a fucking bone sticking out of the trash bag then leg was in, and then they saw an arm, a face in the pizza boxes- and even the sign that once said ‘Nothing Compares’ changed, the face unhinged, letters scrambled and nonsense.
-----------------------------------------------
Nigel felt his breath hitch and tears prick his eyes “W-What… A-Are you…?” Just then, the limbs stopped moving before disappearing, making Nigel yelp at the sudden movements and then, just when they thought it couldn’t get any worse? …It got m u c h much worse.
----------------------------------------------------
That thing emerged from the hole in the wall, practically deforming itself and then reforming itself on the ground on all fours, it looked like Peppino… Except the sunken eyes, the far too long limbs, the melty body, a permanent grin on its face-
--------------------------------------------------
Nigel could feel tears pricking his eyes, and he could feel himself starting to tremble, no…
-----------------------------------------------
Not right now- anything but right now- He could NOT have a fucking panic attack right now- Feppino just stared at him, tilting its head, it said something but it was nothing but gibberish- It sounded like a question though but Nigel just shook they’re head “I-I u-um… Ihavetogo!”
-------------------------------------------------------
They spoke way too fast and turned around and just fucking began to book it out of there, it wasn’t even a few seconds later they heard it behind them, they didn’t d a r e turn around because they knew it was chasing them.
---------------------------------------------------
This prompted him to go a lil faster tbh, far too panicked to even think about using any sorta teleporting magic rn- He just ran back toward the door and right as he got out of it, he felt a hand wrap around his ankle.
-----------------------------------------------------
They fell flat on their face and then turned around to see that creature who just had its head tilted but there was something there, it looked… Desperate, especially when it spoke- Despite it being nothing but gibberish- there was desperation in Feppino’s tone, of course Nigel could feel his throat closing up.
--------------------------------------------------------
It got worse when that thing began dragging him closer to itself, trying to drag it back inside the pizzeria, however he just started struggling, grasping at the slick floor …And of course failing, it wasn’t until he cried out a loud ‘NO!’ that the creature let go, it seemed startled by that.
-------------------------------------------------------
But Nigel barely spared it another glance, just yelling out that he didn’t want to die before finally, his magic suddenly kicked in (he didn’t do it purposefully, sometimes when extreme feelings/emotions start rising, it causes his magic to go all crazy)
----------------------------------------------------
And then finally he’s back with Frank- who is startled by Nigel suddenly popping in, he’s about to reprimand Nigel for that but then he sees the other hugging his knees close and struggling to breathe, this causes Frank to immediately kneel down by they’re side “N-Nigel?! Woah, he… Hey now, easy there lil feller… C-C’mon…”
---------------------------------------------------
Nigel pulls his knees away and grasps at his chest “I-I c… ca… n… c-can’t… bre…athe” He managed to speak but just barely, Franks got the picture though, he realized Nigel was having a panic attack “A-Alright, hey, Nigel… Look at me, remember yer breathin’ exercises…” And that leads into Frank trying to get him to calm down.
----------------------------------------------------
…It EVENTUALLY works but Nigel is still shaking and crying and just hugging onto Frank so tightly- Frank was just completely lost, he has no idea what happened that night, he still doesn’t because Nigel REFUSES to talk about it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
…You could argue this also made his fear/anxiety of the real Peppino even stronger (bc I wanna be clear- He knew the REAL Peppino before encountering Feppino, this isn’t a situation where oh he’s mistaking Peppi with Feppi
------------------------------------------------------------------------
And also I’d argue that he’s actually a lot more terrified of Feppino than Peppino tbh)
----------------
I’ll be very vague with this last bit, was Feppino purposefully trying to hurt Nigel? ...Or was it all a misunderstanding? Who knows~
#pizza tower#pizza tower oc#my ocs#original characters#tw murder#tw panic attack#literally the whole Nigel thing being scared of Peppino was mostly just bc its so fucking funny to me#he just sees this chef running at mach speeds and they're like ...yeah no fuck this im not doing this#if he could get over his fear of Peps honestly the two could shake hands in anxiety solidarity#Nigel and Frank (OCs)
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
🧡 ⭐- Alex
💛🥝 - Casarin
📙❌ - Hydrel
😊🍏 - Oasis
💧🎀 - Latikam
ALEX
🧡 Who is your OC’s favourite person? Why is this person the top of their list and have they actually met them (an idol or rolemodel or celeb can be someone’s favourite after all!).
Honestly oasis and casarin become his favorite people. He sees a lot of himself in Oasis but also potential of what his life could be like, and she'll drag him into it as long as it sounds fun. Casarin is like a big brother to him, mokubat and zumi are great and all but they can't both push and protect him like casarin can. He loves his vazuvyn family but these two have this nerve about living that the vazuvyr cannot afford to have and freedom they cant give him.
⭐ What is your OC afraid of? Any crippling phobias or some such? How do they act when scared and what helps them calm down? Does anyone ever find your OC scary? Why?
People. Unpredictable at best. Downright cruel at worst. Cant trust them. Dont even look at him or his shoes. When he catches someone staring at him he pretends to have not noticed and tries to discreetly hide himself. He is bad at this. Its typically not out of fear as much as, well... those shoes. When he's with zumi or susarikas their cover is that they're his magic creatures of some kind and thats intimidating, that he's such a strong mage to have control over a creature like that. But on his own? Nah. The shoes.
CASARIN
💛 In general, how in control of their emotions is your OC? Do they have a good hold on them or do their emotions control them, not the other way around? What do you think is the reason behind this and is your OC ever concerned about their lack of or good control?
My man is controlled by whatever his hopeless romantic dick is thinking in that moment. The only control he has on his emotions is when anxiety is overriding them all and keeping him internally spinning in circles. He didnt used to be so bad until his family was taken away and he gets better post-sf. His grip is weak from the stress and exhaustion of it all. My man just needs a warm saucer of milk and a comfy blanket. Thats literally the fix for like 80% of his problems. Some stability. Bed with the window open and we're not worried about it who said that.
🥝 What does a bad mental health day look like for your OC? Walk us through it with them. What kind of things can help them out of this slump and what kinds of things comfort them when they start to feel like this?
Wake up even later than normal. Breakfast is tea with what has to be a solid 1/4th cup of sugar. Neither changes clothes or bathes in any way. Whatever his other meals are like are up to god, who is not his biggest fan. Drags himself through whatever he has to but gets it done, typical cranky ass the entire time. Smokes and might drink before sleeping. If its a manic bad day its the same, excepting the dragging is replaced with the zoomies, getting himself hurt at least once, and angry screaming (cranky manic representation my beloved) and he is drinking way more to try to get himself to sleep. Oasis leaves him alone but keeps an eye on him, cant get him to listen anyway, then takes over being the adult since thats all she can do. the only thing that mellows him out is being around hydrel it seems and we dont have him on tap. Finds the words to lift him up and makes him melt in those arms... if he can catch him anyway.
HYDREL
📙 What kind of subjects (of conversation, of discussion, in school or whatever) does your OC find interesting or engaging or that they can talk for hours about? What kind of stuff do they just find fun?
My man loves his airships. What else can i say. Outside that he loves history and other learning about other cultures. They tried to feed him anti vazuvyn propaganda by telling him true but unfavorably framed things and he said "whoa! what fascinating way to live. tell me more!" and now he's overstepping boundaries with latikam about it. He has a full education including Deac'Lulne history, which im sure wont be useful to us. Anyway he also enjoys cooking and baking, he was always spending time in the kitchen with the women of the house as a child and helping them. But his skills are basic since when he came back from war they've been keeping him out of there, want him to have other interests you see, outside the house, wont find relationships cooped up in the kitchen after all, thats what it is.
❌ What kind of things would end any relationship for them? Is there a history behind why these things bother them? Could they ever take someone back despite this? If so or if not, why?
Unfortunately hydrel is way too forgiving and cannot cut people out of his life when he should and just lets resentment build up ha ha. The thing that always starts the crack is like, when someone controls or ignores his decision and agency. When someone says idk something like "we just want to help" when he didnt ask for it. Or when "its just weird for you to be out so late ha ha come back now" even though you're fine just hanging out and its not like you have some responsibility in the morning anyway. stuff like that, hypothetically of course. Luckily he's never been in those kinds of situations. :)
OASIS
😊 What can make your OC smile even when they’re feeling down? What cheers them up and makes everything feel better for them? Is your OC genrally a happy person and do they enjoy making others smile? What about your OC makes others happy?
Just a good laugh honestly. "Joy shared is a joy doubled, sorrow shared is a sorrow halved" was something her parents always used to say and its something both her and casarin always come back to. Granted she's not soft about it. Aggressive positivity is her toxic trait, "maybe everything will work out and be ok, ever think of that idiot" and people love her for it. I love her for it, and so do you, its not a choice.
🍏 Does your OC have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? In what ways does your OC react to being triggered?
Dont bring up her parents. Only casarin is allowed to do that, he was the only one still around to know what they were like. What would you know. The demeanor change is day and night, usual little baked bean addict imp sudden sounds and acts a lot more like casarin or goes quiet. Forced maturity can only get you so far.
LATIKAM
💧 What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes?
God I go back and forth about how good vazuvyn memory is. But he certainly remembers the first time he got fucked. Its notable since he was in his 20s (extremely young for a vazuvyr) when it happened. Considering his childhood was 400-600 years ago depending on which notes you look at anything he had is long gone. Be it from time or from the occupation.
🎀 Do they wear a specific accessory with a special meaning behind it? What is their usual fashion sense like? What do they wear when they want to be comfortable and what do they wear when they’re going to a fancy party? Or do they just not care?
Latikam for the most part wears whatever Mokubat hands him. He knows he what colors he looks good in and loves whatever the fuck his idiot son decided to make for him. Though there isnt much meaning behind any specific piece it is worth noting his jacket is extremely similar to the one Kotimach used to wear before he went missing, however Mokubat was too young to have remembered this, he simply made it traditionally and in his favorite colors.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some Stuff About Marcus Pt.1
Alright, I’m finally gonna talk about Marcus in more depth for a lil bit because honestly the more I think about him the more I want to talk about him. So I’m gonna do just that! Both for fun and to get some stuff out of my creative system. ^///^
So let’s start with the man himself, shall we?
Marcus
Marcus is my personal version of the mysterious Orange side, and he’s more of an OC than a theory and I just really enjoy talking about him sometimes. So I do! I talk more about what he represents in this post (there’s also other miscellaneous scraps of info about him in the orange side tag), this one is gonna focus more on his exact relationship with each of the other sides (I always welcome more specific asks if you ever wanna know anything else! Since I’m very rambly and believe me when I say that I have answers to basically everything >///<). These are longer than I thought so I’m splitting it up...but if you’re still here, then strap in folks! u///u
Roman
Marcus doesn’t dislike Roman, but he’s not a big fan of him either. Theoretically they could have a better relationship but it’s hindered by a perception of Marcus that someone else had set a long time ago. (We’ll get to that)
One of the bigger reasons why Marcus and Roman don’t quite get along is simply due to their completely opposite levels of self respect. Roman is insecure and often unsure about his accomplishments and how others feel about him, while Marcus is too sure about his skills and how others perceive him. There are clear flaws to both.
In Marcus’ case, it’s made him incredibly stubborn and bitter as a result of being seen as a problem and not being able to do anything. It’s very difficult to convince him he’s wrong, and while he’s not dumb enough to think he’s right about everything, he gets more aggressive than necessary in the face of opposition at times. But more than anything Marcus is honest. He’s blunt and isn’t afraid of just stating how he feels to people, and Roman’s reluctance to do so really bugs him at times. In fact, he’s sometimes angry for him.
The fact that simple phrases can shatter Roman’s entire ego drives Marcus up walls, because if he were in his position he’d probably deck someone in the face right then and there. Being insulted? Getting what he fears most spat at him like venom? Marcus would never stand for that. Beyond that he’s also mad for the people who care about Roman. Why can’t he believe them? Can’t he see how much he’s cared about? How worried people are? Does he really? Marcus thinks that distrust and insecurity feels like an insult to them.
The thing about Marcus is that he’s been through being branded bad and evil. He’s still the bad guy in a couple of ways. He’ll play the bad guy if he has to. He’s over it, though not quite over it as he’d like to be... In a way, he’s also envious of Roman. Roman is important. The others do actually love him. And deep down, Marcus also respects the things he does and doesn’t want him to be crippled by his self doubt because what the two have in common is passion. A drive and determination to do the things they want, and to achieve the goals they aim for. It’s just a shame that their relationship is soured by their general perceptions of each other.
Marcus also just isn’t big on theatrics, but that’s because he uh, can’t see. He likes to make fun of Roman just like anybody else in casual conversation and only ever refers to him as “Red”, “Princey”, or on occasion “Ruby”. He jokingly takes Roman’s threats seriously when they quip, and while they never actually get into fights, Roman is aware that Marcus will actually throw down.
At the end of the day, Marcus wants Roman to consider himself his own hero. He doesn’t understand Roman’s need to keep up an image because he’s never had an image to live up to, let alone anyone who'd look to him for inspiration. Whether Roman likes him or not doesn’t really matter to him, he doesn’t care about people who’ve made up their minds about him and are too set in certain ways of thinking.
Which is hypocrisy at its finest, but we’re not there yet.
Janus
Right off the bat, they do not get along. Which you might find kind of odd, considering they’re both under the umbrella of “dark side”. The truth is, they’re tentative colleagues at best. Hilariously Logan probably gets along with Janus better than Marcus does, and there are a couple very fair reasons behind this.
On the one hand, they both agree on doing things for the “self” (Which in their case is c!Thomas). They both agree that the self should be the most important person in one’s life, and will do whatever it takes to protect it. However, the biggest difference between them is the methods they go about doing so. And it’s here that Marcus’ righteous anger often clashes harshly with Janus’ need for self preservation. Marcus doesn’t lie, he doesn’t see the need to. If he wants something, he’ll do it. If he believes something, he’ll say it. He does it because he knows he’s right, and that’s what matters. Obviously this would cause a lot of problems in real life if you actually are that blunt 24/7, and in those cases Janus has to reign him in quite a bit.
Marcus is fundamentally reckless, brash, and prone to getting carried away if not kept in check, which makes him kind of a danger to Thomas’ wellbeing at times. The thing is, both of them are aware of this. Which is actually why Marcus isn’t as spiteful about stepping down as he could be. He knows that he can do more harm than good if he ever steps out of bounds. This won’t stop him from feeling like his input would infinitely accelerate certain debates, and on a personal level he does still feel like he has the right to fight for that recognition, but he doesn’t because he’s not dumb enough to actively cause harm to others for the sake of himself. It’s not what he wants. What he will and often does do however, is do things that end with him getting hurt in the end. Maybe the reason he disagrees with Janus so much is because his own sense of self preservation is surprisingly poor.
A mildly exaggerated analogy I like to think about is that: If under any circumstance the two of them would have to plot revenge, Janus would focus more on personal safety and Marcus would focus more on personal vindication. Marcus has zero qualms about actually throwing hands, no matter the resulting physical consequence (If his scars were any indication) which Janus would 100% be against. Imagine the consequences of a physical confrontation! Absolutely not. Snake man would prefer more subtle and manipulative tactics, and would probably prefer to frame someone without being implicated himself if possible. They usually compromise, but always butt heads one way or another.
In casual conversation, Marcus is more snarky to Janus than anything. They trade sarcastic remarks often and tend to be a lil snippy, but they often agree on similar points? But also insist that they don’t get along, which is pretty funny. Marcus calls Janus “Yellow” or “Snake”, and sometimes a few yellow flower names like “Tansy” or “Marigold”.
Remus
Would it come as a surprise if I said these two actually get along ok? Think about it: They’re both blunt, forthcoming with their ideas (As wild as Remus’ are), and are at times prone to violence. They’re both seen as “bad” and both have experienced being forcefully repressed one way or another. They kind of just vibe on a similar plane of existence if I’m honest with you. More than that however, both are relatively accepting of themselves, Remus more so than Marcus actually. There are some things Orange unfortunately still has to come to terms with.
On a casual level, they probably can do some pretty reckless and dumb things together. Marcus respects anybody with self confidence really, and the way Remus just owns being the garbage man he is definitely gets a pass in his book. It doesn’t mean they never disagree though. In a lot of ways, Marcus is still tied to logic, and Remus’ chaotic nature isn’t always suited to how he works. They conflict the most when it’s time to put the chips down and actually get things done. Remus totally does his best to bug the hell out of him too, much to his chagrin. He makes it pretty clear how he feels about it, but the duke isn’t fazed. Tackle the blind man, he dares you.
Marcus isn’t exactly good with creative input, it’s not his function. In fact, he himself is actually locked in a very specific type of world view from his experiences over the years. It’s not intentional, he just tends to grow irrational when he gets too heated. Sometimes he forgets to take his hand out of the fires that burn him, and it inevitably comes at a detriment to himself. Remus has the capacity to make him incredibly furious under bad circumstances, and if they aren’t careful he might actually act upon dangerous suggestions that Remus just casually suggests. If Remus is the voice behind intrusive thoughts, Marcus is the impulse that actually acts upon them. He won’t, obviously, but spite and anger can push people to do rash things. They both know better than that of course, but it’s a possibility that will never go away.
Marcus calls Remus “Green”, though he also refers to him by odd green things sometimes like “moss” or “seaweed”. I like to imagine the two of them going off and smashing up random things to blow off steam/just for fun. But that’s just me. u///u
---
If you’re still reading then thank you??? This is honestly more self indulgent than anything, but I just have way too much stuff I could talk about and it needs to go somewhere akjbefkaefk.
I shall talk about the rest in Part 2 perhaps. o///o
#I'm going in rainbow order but god I have so much to say ajbakefa#I don't even know if Im making sense#but here's part 1 of stuff I guess!#this is literally just how I am with every character I ever make#I think a lot and have nobody to say it to#if you'll allow me to indulge then I will o///o#I am so sorry for rambling but ily guys whether you read it or not u///u#sanders sides#orange side#mockdoodles#sanders sides doodles#Marcus
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Welcome to the golden City (Mallek Week Day 2)
Day 2 fic prompt for @mallekweek, featuring an OC guiding Mallek through his first awakening on Prospit. Like the previous entry, there is a google doc link with certain text written like a pesterlog chat, the link is here. Please enjoy the read!
Word count: 1957
Rating: For everyone
Characters: Mallek Adalov, OC
Mallek burst into a nearby room, immediately shutting the metal door behind him and entering the lock code on the controls. His clothing was torn apart, bleeding from his forehead, his mouth and his arm which had the sleeve of his hoodie completely shredded off. Catching his breath as he had been running for a while, he leaned up against the door, and let out a sigh of relief. It was short-lived. All of a sudden, the sound heavy pounding on the door filled the room, along with the snarls and roars of a creature.
Mallek’s face was filled with panic, grabbing a small device out of his pocket, frantically pressing buttons before he stuck it to the door like a magnet. His gadget started beeping and then he quickly got away from the door watching the device emit a large electric shockwave. A roar of pain came from the other side, the device had now electrified the door. Whatever was on the other side, kept pounding but each time it was electrocuted, soon it attempts to enter the room became slower. Mallek braced himself in case it didn’t work, but fortunately for him, the heavy footsteps of the beast began to move away in another direction.
His heart was beating out his chest. Once he could no longer hear the creature, he just collapsed to the ground. Sitting there, he slowly laid back down, the adrenaline was going away. He hadn’t felt fear like, what was that thing? The cerulean then remembered he was talking to Zack before he was attacked. Slowly sitting up, he grabbed his palmhusk, opening his trollian, his thumbs tapping away on his screen.
--snakeBytes [SB] began trolling GallantLuminescent [GL]--
SB: hey;
SB: i’m back;
SB: sorry about;
GL: What happened?? You said someone was watching you and then you went silent.
SB: no need to worry; it’s not a problem anymore;
SB: turns out that someone was a something;
SB: but i managed to get away from it; tested out the electrifying mechanism on the device;
GL: What something?! Are you okay? Where are you now?
SB: hey; hey; don’t worry about it;
SB: i’m okay; all safe and sound; whatever it was = gone;
SB: it didn’t like getting shocked so it gave up;
GL: Okay, if you're sure then. But please stay safe okay, I’m glad that the defence system works, but don’t take any unnecessary risks dude.
SB: likewise; you keep safe too;
SB: anyway; changing the subject while i hide out here; go back to the discussion we we’re talking about; about that place called prospit; and that we could meet there?;
GL: Yeah since we’re at different points across the universe and all that, I figured out that your lunar sway in the game is prospit like mine.
GL: So, we can meet there in person. I’ll be waiting for you when you get there.
SB: hold on; how exactly am i supposed to get there?;
SB: you haven’t exactly explained the intrigue details of i’m supposed to prospit?; or what this place is exactly;
GL: Since I have no idea when I’ll be able to visit Alternia. I thought that we could meet at Prospit.
GL: As for how to get there… Don’t worry about it ;D
GL: It’s a special place, I’ve already cleared your entry.
GL: Just rest up, and I’ll see you okay.
SB: this doesn’t make any sense; but you’re the kind to make up stuff like this; so, i guess i’ll see you later;
SB: i’m gonna rest on the floor for a bit and make my way back to my hive later;
GL: Alright. See ya soon.
Yawning, Mallek wiped some of the blood off his mouth. Turning his palmhusk off, the troll laid there. Zack wasn’t the type to not make sense about something. Granted he was an alien with a culture completely different to his own, but it seemed more like he was hiding something about this ‘Prospit’ place. But at this moment, all Mallek wanted to do was sleep. First things first, he needed to clean his injuries, he didn’t wanna bleed out in his sleep. It wasn’t a serious wound but he couldn’t be too careful.
Looking around this old storage room he was able to find a cloth, wiping the rest of the blood off his face and his arm. Mallek then wrapped the cloth around his injured arm nice and tight. He slumped against the wall, pulling his hood over his head and shut his eyes. Hopefully he wouldn’t wake up to the sight of that unknown creature midway through eating him.
As Mallek began to drift off into a slumber he thought more about Zack, and more about Prospit. His lunar sway? What did that even mean? Something to do the moon obviously. But it couldn’t be about Alternia’s own moons. So many questions, one was answered and five more popped up. He was gonna have to ask Zack again about Prospit, and how he was gonna get there exactly.
There was nothing but pitch-black darkness for the moment. There was no sound, and no light at first. But then through the dark, something was peeking through. A light. It started out small and in the distance. Then it got closer, moving towards him, and bigger. It was so bright, he had to cover his eyes.
Soon he was now surrounded by light, he couldn’t stare into it, the intensity was too much. Mallek’s eyes shot wide open, immediately he grunted in pain, shutting them back due to the bright light. What was going on? Did the lights in this room suddenly turn on? Slowly, he opened his eyes again, his vision adjusting to the brightened area.
Then he realized something was different. Why was everything yellow? This was a different room. No. he was outside now, but this wasn’t anywhere he had ever been before. Getting to his feet, Mallek stared around in disbelief at his new surroundings, looking down at his feet the floor was gold, tapping at it with his shoe. That’s when he noticed his pants, then the rest of his clothes, they weren’t the same things he had worn earlier. Bright yellow clothing, with a large crescent moon symbol on his chest instead of his sign. The only thing that hadn’t been altered was his shoes.
Looking around to see if he could spot someone, anyone at all to explain where he was. He ran further into this golden city, running up a set of stairs turning into another street. Mallek looked up, his confusion turned to awe and wonder. Instead of the purple night sky and twin moons of his home, it was pitch black, but in the center was a massive blue planet where the sun should be. Swaying his head to the sides, this couldn’t be real.
“Hey, stranger!” A voice, a familiar one called out to Mallek, his eyes scanning around to find the source of it. Turning around he saw Zack?! Floating down like a balloon before the troll.
“What? What? Zack. What’s going on?” Mallek was surprised to say the least, seeing his human friend in the flesh before, slowly approaching the other, his hands reaching out grabbed Zack’s face, squeezing his cheeks. He was real.
“Hey, hey, knock it off. I’m real. This is real. Sort of.” He said, chuckling to himself. Zack could see that Mallek still didn’t understand, he then took the troll’s hand.
“Come on, I’ll give you the full details of this place. But first and foremost… Welcome to Prospit.” Zack guided the other in a new direction, his last words made Mallek look around again in realization.
“Prospit? This… This is prospit.” The cerulean asked Zack who nodded to re-confirm. This strange city was the place the other had been telling him about.
The pair were now in one of the tall towers throughout Prospit. Inside was an exact copy of Zack’s room, or what he had described to Mallek during their many pesterlogs. Mallek was sitting on the window edge, looking out to the rather beautiful view on the city of gold. Zack was looking out of the window next to him, he had explained everything to the troll as best he could. He understood at least where he was.
“So basically… I’m dreaming right now. This isn’t my real body, but an avatar of sorts. My real body is still in that storage room, sleeping. This is one of the two kingdoms that are dream moons that players can visit with their dream bodies. But unlike a dream everything is real here.”
“Pretty much. There are only a few ways a person could get to prospit… Get a ship and travel here for an unknown length of time. Or be a player and awaken on your dream moon.” Zack stated with the latter being the easier method to get to prospit.
“And this is the kingdom of light… Prospit. And it’s opposite is the kingdom of darkness… Derse.” Mallek asked the other who nodded.
“You end up on either moon depending on your lunar sway. Yours like mine sway to the light, so we’re prospit dreamers.” Zack said as Mallek was still in a state of amazement at all this.
“So my mind and my soul have changed locations. This is beyond anything I could imagine.” Mallek was now examining his hand with his eyes.
“This way, no matter what part of the universe we’re in. Whether the cold vast region of space or the dark skies of alternia, were just a sleep away from each other now.” Zack smiled to himself, the faintest hint of blush over his face.
“This is awesome… So tell me what can I do here? Can I float around like you could earlier?” Mallek was excited to learn more about Prospit and what his dream self could do here.
“You can fly around the place, and you pretty much will some things into existence here. You can be what you’ve always desired for yourself on Prospit.” Zack explaining further to the other.
“For example, if your real body was crippled or damaged in any way like a lost limb. On prospit your dream body is free of those restrictions if that’s what you wish.” Zack said.
“Someone blind could see… A person confined to a chair can walk.” Zack gave examples of the benefits of the dream moon. Mallek could understand more why this place was special and why it was a place where a person’s potential dream could be a reality. To an extent.
“But time here moves the same as the real world, and if your sleep is disturbed somehow you’ll be pulled from here and wake up back in your original body.” Zack told the other, so eventually if his body was ready to awaken his consciousness would return to it.
“Well then. If our time is limited, let’s go!” Mallek, not being afraid jumped out of the window, imagining himself flying, his body became lighter as he now was hovering in the air.
“Whoa. This is fucking amazing.” Mallek spun around in the air. Zack grinning at the other dived out of the window, taking flight as he zoomed past Mallek.
“Race ya to the main tower!” Zack pointed to the tower in the distance. Mallek smirk readied himself, visioning it, and shot off as fast as a bullet with Zack playing catch up.
Back in reality, Mallek was fast asleep in the storage room, perfectly still. A big smile on his face, grumbling in his slumber. His mind millions of miles away at the kingdom of light with his friend.
#mallekweek2020#mallek week day 2#mallek week#mallek adalov#hiveswap#homestuck#fanfiction#fanfic#HS fanfic#my writing#zack daemon (OC)#OC#oc/canon#prospit
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
FAR CRY 5 HOLIDAY EXCHANGE 2019 [FIC]
‘Sometimes Love is Not the Best Thing for You’
Faith Seed x Deputy Jada Hale, Sharky Boshaw, Boomer, Jess Black (mentioned), Grace Armstrong (mentioned)
Happy Holidays!! I loved writing your OC, and I really hope I brought her to life as well as you deserve–and that you enjoy it, most importantly! :) The title is from the song Darlin’ by Goodbye June.
[Hope County really was the most beautiful place she’d ever been. She couldn’t deny it, she doubted if anyone could deny it either. Every part of it was stunning.
The Holland Valley was lush, crawling with life and opportunity, and if it hadn’t been stained in blood and viscera, Jada could see herself kicking back in a lawn chair once or twice, chewing the fat with whoever happened to pass by. Maybe she’d have attended a church barbecue in the sticky heat of summer just so she could spend the whole thing hanging out with Grace. She knew that fire had forged her friendship with the sharpshooter, but she liked to think that if things’d been more casual, they would’ve gotten close anyways. She liked to think that about all her friends.
She even liked bickering with John-he scared her a bit less than his brothers, made her angrier at times and sobered her at others. For all he was an evil, irritating bastard, he was human enough, and she was sure that if there wasn’t a war going they would have had a similar relationship. Snipping back and forth, fighting like cats and dogs.
Really, though, even putting the people aside for a second, the valley was gorgeous.
So were the mountains, despite the tension in the Soldier’s region and the horrors she’d faced there. She didn’t have much time to sightsee, but even when she was busy raising hell, the unwavering mountains had stared down at her, seeming really unbothered by all the bloodshed. The untouched snow on the high peaks in the distance was still white, even when everything south of them was stained red.
In a less stressful time, Jess would’ve taken her hunting on the tricky slopes, shown her all the best footpaths. She could’ve spent hours like that, doing nothing with a good friend without needing a reason to do it, all while enjoying the crisp air and the pretty scenery.
But despite the glory of the valley and the majesty of the mountains, Jada definitely had a favorite region, and it was without question the Henbane.
There was a lot to do and see down by the Henbane river, but as much as she denied it and made her excuses, the one thing that took her breath away more than anything was the very reason she was in the region in the first place. She couldn’t help it; Faith Seed was more heady and ridiculously unfair than any cloud of bliss could ever manage to be. She was prettier than the lushest valley, and she was as dangerous and impossibly pure as the untouched snow on top of the highest mountain.
Maybe it was dramatic–sure, everyone she knew would mock her ruthlessly if she ever dared to voice any of those feature-film worthy thoughts–but Jada couldn’t help it. She should’ve been angrier at Faith than any of Joseph’s whackjob youth pastors, but she couldn’t even work herself into a slight frenzy where the Seed sister was concerned. Jada cared about her, wanted her to do better than her adoptive brothers. The fact that Faith Seed was as bad a choice as bad choices got, and that she was probably getting a Bliss overdose, didn’t stop her from stumbling right back into the bed she’d started in.
Faith was asleep, curled up into her side. Jada wondered, while idly playing with soft strands of blonde hair, if she was dreaming about a glorious conversion. If she was dreaming that she was leading Jada up the path to righteousness; their hands clasped together as they smiled, trotting towards Joseph like a pair of lovebirds ready to breach the gates to the garden. It was a funny picture, if a terrifying one. Jada didn’t like to think about what would happen if Joseph found out about his sister’s heretical…indiscretions.
She wasn’t the first woman to bear the name Faith Seed. Jada found out, felt consumed by a sense of hope and a powerless drive to share that information. To say: “Here, Rachel, I know what he’s done; you have to get out of here.”
So she’d done just that, because, again, she hadn’t had a choice. She was pulled back into the Bliss as if on a string, and she’d delivered herself to the siren with a fistful of letters and little else. The frenzy in her eyes, the half-crazed insistence in her words…it hadn’t made the difference she’d hoped it would. After she’d finished, Faith had brushed the evidence out of her hands and laughed, giving her a tight hug. The arms that wrapped around her brought forth Faith’s signature Bliss perfume; made Jada’s head spin and her knees weak. Maybe it wasn’t just the Bliss–she was getting more used to that. In all likelihood, the jelly-feeling in her legs was probably coming from Faith herself. Honestly, Jada doubted she’d ever get used to that, and that scared her even more than the Father himself.
“I know, silly,” Faith giggled, almost chided, like she was talking to her fondest friend. She cupped Jada’s face in her hands. “It’s different. I was made to be Faith Seed. The fact that you’re here is proof of that.”
Jada’s tongue had been stupid and hard to control, and in a rush of anger about being so stupid as to think he hadn’t brainwashed her that far, it’d spat something out she now wished it hadn’t.
“What if the fact I’m here is proof you shouldn’t be?” She said quickly, the urgency still lingering. She still had hope that things could change. That she could break through the parts of her that Joseph had blocked off and finally have Faith–or Rachel, or whoever she really was–in full. “You can be better than this,” she added, a little breathless, caught in eyes that went on forever. Eyes that, for once, didn’t look sympathetic or condescending. She felt like she was looking through time, back at Rachel Jessop. Before Joseph had gotten to her, when she was empty and in need of something.
It wouldn’t last forever, because Faith wasn’t just someone empty who needed to be filled up with love. She was full of horrible toxic shit; the stuff Joseph had crammed down her throat until she was full of it. She needed to be lanced–the poison needed to be drained–but in that moment, Jada’s empathy was enough to tamp down everything else; it was enough to make the girl warm for a second.
That moment was enough to keep Jada there, relaxed, unarmed and waiting. She really wanted Faith to be free and happy, and that was what was going to kill her.
This time, she was safe. This time, the girl inside the siren had welled up and nearly spilled out; she was so desperate to crawl to the genuine kindness offered. Not the slippery snake-oil kindness offered by Joseph and his ilk, but a real, desperate need for things to be better, for her to feel loved. Jada felt like she was nothing but a pit of extremes, and her drive for vengeance and dominion over the Seeds was exchanged–in Fatih’s case–for endless second chances and silly hope.
Faith was still a human being; she had a lot of things about her that made her perfect for the charming, surface-level perks of Eden’s Gate. She was kind, sweet; she sought recovery and help for her followers, she kissed like an angel and wrapped her arms around Jada and told her she could be so much more, too.
Jada was used to talking in violence and conflict, but Faith spoke a different language. Around her, at least. It was softer, but it hurt a lot worse. She whispered butterfly kisses down Jada’s neck and screamed so sweetly underneath her. So loud, so sweet, she thought it sounded almost like church bells.
If there was any niggling doubt that Joseph was just playing her through Faith’s false love, the way they were when they were together really dispelled it for Jada. There was no way that could be faked, especially not when Faith looked at her like she was the world. For once, she didn’t spout off a quote from the mad prophet or a sob story or blow Bliss into her face. She just looked at her, smiled, and whispered three little words. Jada never said them back, but it didn’t matter. The absence of three little words didn’t mean shit when she kept running back like she didn’t care if it would kill her as long as she got to Faith one last time.
It was pathetic, and if anyone she knew were more in the know about it, they’d agree. They already had some idea–Jess’s blank look whenever Jada said she was going back to the Henbane; Sharky always worrying about where she was going when she ran off in a hurry. She was nearly crippled by her fear of disappointing them, of letting the resistance down.
Not crippled enough to resist making her way back to the river, though.
Faith stirred in her arms, sighing awake as she nestled closer.
“You’re thinking,” she whispered. Even scratchy, her voice was sweet. “I can hear it.”
“I’m always thinking,” Jada mumbled, moving to trace patterns on Faith’s bare shoulder. “I think Sharky and I should burn down some Bliss this weekend. A few fields. Then, if we’re up for it, maybe we’ll set up a sniper’s nest and start picking off–”
Faith hushed her, the sound coming as an exhausted breath as she pressed a small kiss to Jada’s collarbone. “I remember when I first saw you. In the church. I remember when Joseph told me you were more than the snake. I was so happy.”
“See, and I just wondered what a pretty girl like you was doing with a family like yours.”
She laughed, and Jada felt accomplished; the nasty attempts at lashing out smothered in her chest, dead on her lips. Faith was just too damn sweet, her laugh was angelic. Everything they said about her…it was all true. The good things, at least.
“I wonder, too, what you’re doing with all those boys in the sheriff’s department. With Charlemagne Boshaw. They’re no good, Jada. They’re bringing you down.”
“See, you think my family sucks, I think your family sucks…wanna just cut and run?” Jada’s thumb traced down Faith’s soft cheek. The words were dead things that smelled sweet. Nothing would happen. Nothing would come of them. Faith still smiled to hear them, and Jada smiled back.
“Do you want to run?” Faith asked, craning her neck to look at her properly. “I thought you were stubborn to the end.”
“Well, yeah. I can be stubborn about different things, though. I could be stubborn about you, about getting you out. We could start our own little cult, a cult of two. We’ll just sit around all day and worship each other.”
“That sounds good,” Faith agreed. She didn’t say anything about heresy, about her purpose–for a minute, they were just quiet. All either heard was the other’s breathing and it was nice just to be like that. Almost like they were people. But they weren’t; they were a siren and a deputy, so the moment they had–like every other one they had–passed.
“Maybe,“ Faith proposed, in a small, low voice, “I’m in this family so that I can bring you into the flock.”
Jada closed her eyes, brow furrowed. “Does there have to be a holy reason? Can it just be?”
“It already is. You can do good, Jada. You want to, desperately. If you let us help you, if you let yourself see…”
There goes the pillow talk. Anger welled in the deepest part of her throat, and strained her words.
“Does nothing I showed you matter? He killed those women. What makes you any different?”
There was a small moment of silence, and then Faith was slipping away. Jada closed her eyes, already nursing the sting of losing another battle, when the warmth beside her moved and a weight settled above her. Jada opened her eyes and all she saw was Faith–the Siren, Rachel–straddling her hips and staring down at her.
Her mouth was dry, and she swallowed, resisting the urge to gasp when Faith’s too-cold fingers grazed her ribcage.
“The difference?” Faith asked, and her eyes shone. She smiled slightly; she looked entirely too serene for the places her hands were moving to, and she leaned down close, hair falling and veiling them both from the world.
Just shy of a kiss, she whispered something else, and Jada had no chance to respond to it before their mouths touched. And then that was it. She had a war to fight, but that evening, she lost one more battle. They things they did together were sweet, left Jada weak as a kitten. Usually, it would have left her satisfied and comfortable, but not this time. This time, when Faith collapsed breathing heavy, Jada stared at the ceiling and felt hollow inside.
She couldn’t not wrap her arms around Faith; she had to, because she was there. That, and parts of her still believed that a tighter embrace had more of a chance of changing anything. She closed her eyes tightly again, felt white noise behind her eyes but kept the tears in. Faith fell asleep, and Jada held her as long and as tight as she could.
When the sun poked up above the purple horizon the following morning, she absconded; she peeled herself away from Faith’s warmth and her sweet Bliss smell and her kisses, her smile, and her eyes.
Boomer was waiting right outside the door, and barked at her as she woke him up. She shushed him, hopping on one foot and then the other to pull her boots on. She felt like a teenager, and he was tattling on her. Only worse; she was trying to escape her enemy, who she might’ve fucked again.
No one stopped them as they slipped back into the forest. If anyone saw, it was one of those “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” things. It was always like that, even when she finally made it back to the jail. The sheriff nodded, said he had a job for her. Said something about a jacked-up moose-judge in the woods, but she wasn’t really listening. She’d get it done.
Some of the freedom fighters were oblivious. A few weren’t, and they looked at her funny. They trusted her; they doubted the rumors, but were almost waiting for her to blow herself up while professing her love for Faith Seed and the Father and all that jazz.
She didn’t. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Later, she and Sharky were clomping through the forest, and she almost had her mind off of things. She was busy looking at a set of tracks while Boomer barked at nothing–Should’ve brought peaches–when he broke the rule.
“Chica,” he began cautiously. “You…being smart?”
She froze up at that. Sharky Boshaw was possibly the second biggest dumbass in the county, second only to Hurk. He was the one who told her to throw the pipe bomb and take two steps back; he carried a flamethrower around and blared disco to attract angels. He didn’t question whether or not she was making good choices.
“I’m on your side,” she snapped; a bit too harsh and abrupt. She looked up to see him nodding, as troubled as she’d ever seen him.
“Alright, dude, sorry. Just…shit.”
“…yeah.” She sighed, closing her eyes for a minute. “It’s not gonna happen again.”
“How many times is that now?”
“I haven’t been counting.”
“Betcha she has.”
She gave him a sharp look, and he held his hands up, defensively.
“Look, I get it,” he said, “but you of all people know she’s bad news. I don’t want you to get hurt. Feelings, or…other. Y’know?”
She deflated a bit, felt bad for being defensive at all. What the fuck are you doing? He should have said. Stop fucking the mass murderer. It sounded so easy in her head.
“Yeah,” she said, voice thin, and after a too-long pause. “I know.”
And she did.
“The difference?” Faith had repeated, after Jada asked her about her predecessors. She’d come so close that the words were just for them; they were so low, so intimate that no God above could’ve heard them.
“The difference is that I won’t fail.”
That confidence had driven Jada out of bed that morning, made her swear off the Seeds entirely, and for good.
Sharky sensed that she was thinking too hard, and huffed. “Look, use ‘em, abuse ‘em, lose ‘em, right? Girl power. Kinda hot to picture, too, I mean–”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Yep, yep yep yep. Let’s go start a forest fire.”
Very confidently, he started off in the completely wrong direction, and she felt an unbidden smile tug on her lips. Sharky was dumb as bricks, but he might’ve been the smartest guy she knew. She started off after him, content to spend an afternoon on a simple hunt-and-kill mission. In the front of her brain, she tried not to think of it. Pushed it away; Faith was gone with everything else.
Except she wasn’t. She was still there, and Jada thought about the letters, the evidence, the truth. She’d offered Faith everything. She’d offered her anywhere else and as much love as she had; she’d slipped between her warm thighs and laid it out bare. Dozens of times, sure, but this time had felt different. Because everything she had wasn’t enough; she didn’t compare to Joseph and Eden and war and death and suffering.
She believed that Faith loved her; she’d said it often enough. She’d softened into a human under Jada’s keen eye. But Jada was quickly coming to the realization that it might not have been enough. Something felt settled. Something felt finished.
But Jada was still a fucking fool at heart, and Faith had called it; she was stubborn to the end. And while a growing part of her suspected that particular end would be a lot more painful than sneaking out of bed at sunrise, the rest of her wasn’t about to give up on anyone or anything worth fighting for. For what had to be the hundredth time, she hatched a brand new plan for bringing Faith home. She also steamrolled the familiar voice in her head that promised her it was a lost cause.
It didn’t matter, because she was gonna fix the county, and Rachel Jessop just had the misfortune of living there and being as sweet and hot as she was crazy.
Boomer came to trot beside her, and barked at her, like he was judging her for her decision.
“Oh, what do you know?” She grumbled, notching an arrow as the moose came into her sights. “You’re a dog.”
So are you, Boomer’s sweet, judgemental eyes seemed to say. We both come when we’re called.
Or maybe she was projecting. She let her arrow loose, and decided not to worry about it for a while.]
#faith seed/deputy oc#faith seed#deputy oc#gift: fic#fc5holidayexchange#implied/referenced smut#fluff#mild angst#submission
12 notes
·
View notes
Photo
A 3 month late art summary featuring art that i haven’t uploaded here due to my absence. unless i randomly feel like it, i don’t think i’m gonna go back and upload them here. if you wanna see them, though, they’re all on my DA.
I know i've pretty much said all the important bits in A Sacrifice for the Wind, but i figure i reiterate everything said along with expanding upon everything that occurred during 2017. piece by piece. and yes, i did intend to make an art joke.
So, to get it outta the way, 2017 stunk more than a dead fish on a city bus. i lost a lot during that year. i lost the will to believe in whatever the future had in store for me, i almost lost a few friends, i lost my motivation to work on my projects and above all...i lost the smile i've always kept on every year before that. never have i been so emotionally damaged in all 5 years of my artist life leading up to this point.
But, i can't say it was completely terrible. as much as i bashed it, art wise, 2017 was a very progressive year. looking at every wedge on the clock, i can't stop staring at how far i've come since the end of 2016. after being stripped of my tablet at the end, i've even learned how to not be afraid of making permanent mistakes.
But yeah, let's begin. by turning the clock all the way back to January. when things were much simpler....
January: Hukaro Nakawa ~Final Mix
Yeah, this was done in October, but i uploaded it in January for Moon's birthday. plus, there was nothing noteworthy this month. i still remember all the nice comments i got. this was the beginning of a year that i ran right in and yelled "LET'S SHOW THIS WORLD THAT WE WON'T STAND FOR ANOTHER 2016!"
Oh how naive i was...
February: The Beast Inside
Remember when i played a lot of League in my free time? i sure do. anyway, this was my next attempt after Hukaro to continue doing my "Squeenix Cinematic Style." this time on the, at the time, new revamp for Warwick. needless to say, i still think i did a better job on Hukaro. BUT, this was still pretty good. it was during these first few months when things were really lookin' up for me. i was continually working on things cuz i really wanted to make something and school was pretty cool too.
March: Digimon ZX Cover
ZX ISN'T DEAD I SWEAR! *ahem* I MEAN....hai. owo
As we march on into March, i think R2 of Digimon Temporal Jump was going on at the time. we were going through our story entries and things were pretty great being with my best buds. i also began doing art streams i'm pretty sure, with this drawing in particular being done during two days of streaming. i'm being serious, by the way. ZX is not dead. i've been typing up the story on my phone, so look forward to those chapters sometime soon!
April: Are You Ready?
Yup. in anticipation for Digidestined.Com, i decided to start seriously developing Digimon Unchained ahead of time so people would be able to get to know Yuki beforehand. unfortunately, i didn't actually get to start the story until much later, but that was just me being a lazy bum. i was hangin' out on Discord and stuff, talking about how excited i was for what was to come. we all know what happened, but at the time, being able to go back to the world i once knew with Luneth was a big deal for me. it's like i was going back to the beginning.
And fear not, peeps! i've been working on Unchained for quite awhile. you'd be surprised how much i've worked on it with Gao. ^w^
May: Bits n' Bytes Ultima Vocal Collection
Oh yeah, i did a birthday gift for Fire too! just so you know, i do still wanna make OSTs for my other Digimon adventures, but without my tablet i can't really do them right now. this month was pretty alright if i remember. making new friends and strengthening bonds with old friends. things were pretty fun in the sun cuz y'know......summer was coming.
June: Connection Flow in Ice and Snow
AWWW YEEEAAAAH, LET'S KICK IT!!! *Another Way by Girugamesh plays at full blast* (if .Com had a vocal OST, that would be opening.....3 if i remember the list i made. would've been the final opening i think. it's been awhile since i looked at the files.)
Now that .Com finally began, i was on the hype train to the sun as i feverishly worked hard on my .Com stuff. this poster was one of my proudest works this year tbh. i promised i would make something great outta this story. this would be the closure that Luneth and Vivi so desperately needed, and Yuki and Arcus would be the ones to save them and close their book for good. not only that, but i was also graduating high school. after throwing my cap in the air, i said my heartfelt goodbyes to all the friends i've known since elementary and middle school including the close friends in my AP Art Squad. Team AP Art Will Never be Apart! honestly, things couldn't be any more exciting for me.
Gee, it would be a shame if something were to happen that would trigger a chain of events that would divide my friends forever and send me down a spiraling pain train to the void known as crippling depression.
July: DigiJuly Day 5: V-Mon (Vivi)
This drawing was done to commemorate three years of adventures with Luneth and Vivi. this was during DigiJuly, when i was doing Digimon doodles nonstop for the duration of the month.
What was once a hype train became a train wreck once July came around. things were ok until DTJ burned down in a raging fire and that set the stage for the rest of the year. i literally wouldn't be able to overcome any of this until November or so. i don't wanna dwell on it anymore since i'd be sounding like a broken record at this point.
August: D3P: D-Sona 3 Portable
Not a lot of art this month either. can you believe that? XD
Hoo boy. August. need i say anything more about this month? we thought things settled down after DTJ shut down, but something was amiss....
This was the month that it happened. the climax of the story best left untold....even though i told it a hundred times already. >_>'
Outside of the incident, time was running short for our stay at our current home and we were thinking of our next move. i began to worry about college as steep student debt caused us to have a change of plans on where to go. i was beginning to doubt if i even had a future to believe in. i was running out of options, and i was running out of hope.
And trust me, it only gets worse from here.
September: The Next Generation
After awhile, things were still going on outside my realm of knowledge. it only made me feel worse seeing everything transpire long after the initial conflict. with this stigma hanging over me, i finally decided to pack my bags and leave the Digimon group era of my artist life. it was a pretty sour note to end it on, but let's be real here, there was no way i could wait any longer for things to get better. granted, my birthday was awesome, and i couldn't thank everyone enough for coming together to try to bring my spirit back. unfortunately, my bout with depression was just beginning. it was so bad, i pretty much stopped taking care of myself, which would lead to a few days ago when i'd end up with one less tooth in my mouth. i swear i won't let it get that bad again.
With everything plummeting down to the dark abyss, i said goodbye to the life i once knew. from here on, things were about to change. i wasn't gonna end here. not now.
October: Howling in the Shadows
From this month forth, my family had no idea where we were going. the beginning of the tale of the borderline homeless that still continues to this day.
Packing away my computer and drawing tablet for what feels like an eternity, i was moving out of my current home that we rented for the duration of my senior year and into grandma's house......in a raging storm. i'm not kidding. the rain was so bad that when we got there, our clothes were completely soaked and we couldn't even see 5 feet ahead of us outside that night. i knew immediately that it was some sort of ill omen for what was to transpire in the coming months. in fact, i even had dreams of the aftermath of what might happen.
Now that i was stripped of my digital art abilities, i had to think of something else to do. so, i decided to dedicate myself to going back to traditional art.
Boy, did i have fun.
November: Return to the Realm of Sleep
Now, this was the only thing i was able to crank out in November. BUT, that doesn't mean i didn't draw. i drew stuff, but nothing noteworthy enough to upload here. i'm gonna tell it to you straight now. Arcus will return.
With my mental health still kicking me in the butt (it hit me so hard i had a panic attack one day.), i wasn't really motivated to draw much. in fact, i even hid myself away from the internet for quite awhile. without my friends or my sense of purpose, i felt like i had nothing and i was pretty under the weather for a majority of this month. that being said, i snapped myself out of it by force. it was stupid that i still felt the way i did months after what happened. sure, it was horrible, and i wish i could forget everything. but i can't stay stuck in the past.
And so, i picked up my colored pencils and other such tools, and began my journey to recovery.
December: Lexicon (Lex) and A Sacrifice for the Wind
I got the hang of drawing traditionally pretty quickly. throughout the month, i was on fire, drawing masterstroke after masterstroke. (at least, in my opinion. XD)
Making my new home in the mobile communities of Amino, it was a nice change of pace from the big screen of my computer. i made a bunch of new friends (to the staff of the Aminos i'm in and the rest of the crew in our Digimon Discord server, you guys are the best and thank you for healing the pain of yesteryear!) and had a grand old time making new OCs, Lex being one of them. i honestly luv Appmon and i wish we got more, but i'm content with what we got tbh. it'll live on in Seikatsu and his friends. be ready to see them once again in the near future!
And so, in the wake of destruction as the world continues to change around me, i chopped off my signature anime emo locks, revamped my wardrobe and set my sights toward the future.
Nowadays, i've completely moved on from the pain, but that doesn't change the fact that it still happened. overall, 2017 was a complete pile of poopoo garbage and i'm glad the nightmare is finally over.
Even if i can't completely write it off as bad, there's just way too many negatives that weigh down the rest of the year for me personally. it's March now and things are pretty hectic, but i've got newfound courage and i know this year will be better than the last. time for me to get back up and charge forth to a better tomorrow!
#digital art#traditional art#summary of art#2017 summary of art#i'm still proud of all the ones featured here#now updated to show the full story from the DA version
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
OC as companion: Fallout 2 - Carla
Find the FNV template here (not mine). Find blank FO2 template here (mine).
Basic info:
Name: Carla
Race: Human, mixed Mexican/Japanese
Gender: Female
Affiliation: the Wright family in New Reno
Role: Assistant at the Jungle Gym, prizefighter
Location: New Reno, Jungle Gym
Base SPECIAL: 9S 6P 3E 7C 5I 8A 3L
Tagged/Notable skills: Unarmed, Lockpick, Small Guns
Perks: Slayer, Bonus Move
Talking Head Y/N: Yes
Default Inventory: Leather armor, powerfist (requires ammo)
Carla is Stuart Little’s assistant at the Jungle Gym, and a renowned prizefighter. She is the final fight before the Masticator, and poses a significant threat because of her Unarmed damage. Beating her is necessary to gain the Prizefighter title. She has a good reaction to PC with Karma +100 and Wright Made Men, and has a bad reaction to Childkillers, Slavers, and Karma -100 (and will not join these characters).
In order to recruit her, one must defeat her in the ring or pass a relatively medium-level Speech check. She will join low-intelligence PC. If recruited but not defeated, a generic fighter will replace her slot in the “Become a Prizefighter” quest. She will join a PC despite any negative New Reno Reputation.
Initial Description: You see a tall muscular woman with two long braids. She looks tough.
Description after becoming a companion: You see Carla, prizefighter representing the Wright family. She bounces from foot to foot, anxiously looking at her surroundings and flexing her hands.
Comments and Floats:
Floats:
Fear/Defeat: Let’s not try that again.
Victory: Nothing we couldn’t handle!
Use Lockpick skill (Success)(optional): And there! Got it!
Use Lockpick skill (Failure)(optional): This nut’s too tough to crack.
Injured: Could use some help here
Relating to another companion:
(Marcus) You look like you know how to throw a punch, big guy!
(Lenny) You doing okay, Len?
(Myron) Just stay out of my way and you won’t get hurt. Battle’s no place for someone like you.
(Goris) So a deathclaw, huh? Interesting.
(Cassidy) You watch where you’re pointing that thing!
Relating to scenery/location:
(Vault City) A bunch of stuck-up assholes, if you ask me.
(Gecko) We’d better not cause trouble here, these folks seem friendly.
(New Reno)
Ah, the sweet smell of vice and drugs. Now I remembered why I only tolerated this place.
Can we stop by the Wright’s place? Keith and I need to catch up.
Maybe I should check in on Stuart, see if he wants me back in the ring.
(Chinatown) Wow, the Golden Gate Bridge looks even cooler in person. Wait, what’s parked on it?
(Hubologist bunker) *shivers* These freako cultists give me the creeps.
I don’t like this place: We’d better watch our backs here. This place gives me the creeps. Maybe we should make this visit quick.
Level up: I feel like my skills have really grown. Travelling with you is doing wonders for me!
Waiting: (humming a tune) You done yet?
Misc floats:
Nice decor.
My feet hurt. Sorry, I don’t like complaining. But seriously, I think my callouses are becoming new toes.
(PC passes a Barter check) Good. Always save money when you can.
(PC murders an innocent or steals) Whoa, what are you doing? Let’s keep this cool!
Hey, a dog! Here, boy!
Comments/Dialogue:
Standard Greeting: What’s up? What’s our next plan?
Reaction to Low Intelligence PC: I’d better watch your back, make sure no one tries to take advantage of you. You seem nice.
Crippled: *pained gasp* This is going to take more than a stimpack. We’d better find help, and quick.
After healing: Thanks. I’m ready to get back in the ring!
Put your weapon away: Good idea. Don’t want people to get the wrong idea about us.
Open inventory: Good idea. We should always know what we’re working with.
Stay close to me (CLOSE): I’ll watch your corners and you watch mine, got it?
Don’t get too far away (MEDIUM): Whatever you want. Sounds good.
We should spread out a bit (LONG): Gives me more room to maneuver.
I need you to wait here until I come back: Okay, but don’t take too long. You never know what could happen when you’re alone.
Rejoin: Just let me grab my stuff and I’ll be ready to hit the road!
Rejoin, PC doesn’t have necessary requirements (optional): Listen, you’ve changed, and I don’t think I want to be seen with you, okay?
Rejoin (over party limit): Too many people, and enemies will see us coming from miles away. How about you free up some space in your team and then come see me?
I had some other questions: Ask away. You’re full of curiosity.
Leaving/Disbanding: I can’t stand by you anymore. I’m leaving. This isn’t what I intended when I decided to come with you.
Trivia and Additional Info:
Because of her extra move points, Carla can sometimes accidentally move into other NPC (or the PC)’s line of fire, therefore risking damage. She dislikes chems, and will not use any if in her inventory. She can be asked to use her Lockpick skill, often to great success. She can also offer +5 to the Unarmed and Small Guns skill while at the Jungle Gym. This will take two hours of in-game time.
New Reno NPCs have positive reactions to her, recognizing her as a local celebrity. Wright family-associated NPCs will also have positive reactions, as she is an honorary member of their family.
She also has a unique sprite with long black hair.
Best weapons/armor:
Carla performs best with Unarmed weapons and Small Guns (pistols, etc). To optimize her efficiency in combat, she should be given the .223 pistol or the Gauss pistol. One can also get a Mega Powerfist, which she will do devastating amounts of damage with. Be aware that because of her low Luck, she will rarely land critical hits with guns. But because of her Slayer perk, she will always land critical hits with Unarmed attacks.
She does not have animation for big guns (Minigun, pulse rifle, etc) and therefore cannot use them. However, because of her high strength, she is proficient with a great array of weapons. It is not recommended that she be given grenades, as she has an awful Throwing skill and will likely end up killing everyone in your party.
She can be equipped with Power Armor, though because of her high Strength stat, this would be wasted on her. However, because of her low Endurance, some armor is STRONGLY recommended.
Ending:
After the destruction of the Oil Rig, Carla returned to Arroyo with the Chosen One, helping rebuilding efforts. However, about five years later, she decided to leave Arroyo and travel east in search of adventure. The Chosen One would occasionally receive letters from her, telling of exploits and challenges, and would always consider her to be a close friend.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hagiwara Sengen
(welp guess who??? feel free to be blunt, I wanna know how she appears to other people. Also tell me if you like her design, Is it too impractical? Sorry if its repetitive or has bad grammar, I edited it at like 12am rip)
Name: Hagiwara Sengen
Gender: Female
Era: Pre-Konoha, Wartime Era
Personality: Reserved, Charismatic, cautious, hesitant and loyal.
Ln: there’s a little overlap of personality here with the charisma part, but if you’re planning that as her public persona, it’s fine. from this she sounds like the kind that would separate her public and private life.
Values: Loyalty, strategy and Filial Piety.
Ln: These are all great values! as extra information, are there instances where these come into conflict? It would lend depth to the character.
Fears: No one needing them, becoming crippled or unable to reproduce.
Ln: how did these fears come about? the last two are easily justified since it’s a shinobi society with high death rates, but the first, is it taught, or a clan value?
the ‘loving to talk’ thing is my only gripe with this. you previously said she’s ‘reserved’ and ‘hesitant’, these traits seem to disagree with ‘talkative’. unless it’s another two-faceted thing where she likes to talk to her friends, or to herself, but that would be a personality characteristic then. perhaps you can consider changing ‘loves to talk’ to ‘loves to discuss’? I have no idea, but right now it’s contradictory.
Likes:
-Frog/critter catching (As achild this led to a lot of ruined kimonos. Later in life she gained the sense to change into more casual clothes at her retainers relief)
-Loves to talk (Though she hardly ever gets the chance to)
-Running in extravagent and expensive Kimonos (Though she’d never let anyone see her do it)
-Yokan
-Summer (Yokan is traditionally eaten in Summer so she gets excited when it comes around)
Ln: maybe expand more on her childhood? it wasn’t laid out below, and it sounds like she was a real firecracker, so how did she turn out the way she did, was it the upbringing, or something else?
Dislikes:
-Long battles (anything that involves endurance)
-Writing (She has notoriously bad handwriting and even has an aide to write/respond to things for her)
-Hates fish (They’re too slimy and she hates looking at their dead, lifeless eyes.)
-People who hold grudges
Family: Asama
Weapon: Hachiwari/Kabutowari
Ln: cool! I’d love to see how she wields it — can’t help but notice she doesn’t have it its holder in her character design?
Group: Hagiwara
Role: Clan Head (Direct Ancestor {Kohana} was founder)
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Height: 174cm
Ln: that’s pretty tall. maybe you should have a height comparison thingie (like with a cat or tree or something) in the character design so that the above-average height is clear. rn she looks short in the art, ‘cos of the short length of her clothing.
Appearance:
-Body type: slightly pear shaped
-Skin: Pale and appears unmarred
-Hairstyle: Bun with Sakura petals
-Hair colour: Bright green
-Eye colour: Red/pink
Ln: one gripe. why sakura petals? Is it the vanity part mentioned later? does it stay on in a fight?
Clan Info:
Clan founder: Kohana
Speciality: crushing the enemy with skilled and lethal attacks
Clan size: Large (Though their civilian population has always seemed to outweigh the warriors)
Clan colours: (not limited to) Golds and blacks
General hair colours: Whites, greens and browns (though there has been blondes)
General eye colours: reds, blues and greens
General chakra type: (not limited to) earth, fire
Ln: are there reasons for the color choices, or is everything in honor of Kohana? I’d also say that having such diverse colors for hair and eyes isn’t quite feasible gene-wise, since stuff like red eyes and green hair would most likely be recessive genes, or else we’d see more of them in the series, but this is pre-village, so, I’d say come up with a good reason (maybe chakra or something) and it’ll fly. But it’ll still be good to hammer it down to one or two colors, like the red-hair-is-Uzumaki thing or black-skin-is-Cloud.
-The founder Kohana was said to have been a villager that fought alongside Ootsutsuki Asura against his brother Indra.
-Kohana wielded a bow
-Filial Piety is core teaching within the Hagiwara because when Kohana was young, she left her poor father to follow Asura but when she returned found her father had died of exhaustion. She blamed herself for his death and instilled into her children not to make the same mistake.
-The Hagiwara then say that she became an ‘Onna-bugeisha’, that was known for charming looks but deadly skill. She eventually caught the eyes of a wealthy man and married. It was said he had a flower garden built in her name and she in turn trained their children in Ninshu.
-Hagiwara women are generally named after flowers/related things and often care a lot for their appearances (It was supposed to be in honour of Kohana, but it quickly progressed to a tradition fueled by vanity)ooo I like this one!!-Hagiwara were known for horrible stamina and so most of their taijutsu and jutsu is based around lethal and explosive strikes.
-Because the Hagiwara joined battles near the end they had quite a few enemies. (The enemies hated them because they exhausted themselves wearing down the opposing side only to have a new fresh set of warriors take the battlefield to crush them. Similarly, allies sometimes got angry because it felt like the Hagiwara were stealing their victory)
Ln: nice!! so rare to see actual human emotions like jealousy and envy in the construction of OCs and clans, this is great!
-Like other clans, the Hagiwara didn’t necessarily take sides unless they were paid.
-The Hagiwara have fought the Senju and they only managed to save themselves from defeat because the Uchiha were hired as back up in response to the Senju.
-The Hagiwara may have a large clan but very little of them are warriors. (This lead to it being almost exclusively civilian by the time of Boruto)
-The Hagiwara were fierce supporters of peace and did not take long to ally themselves with the newly founded Konoha. (This happened while Sengen was in power) The idea of a village appealed to them greatly as it meant their civilian population could be safe.
-The Hagiwara were pinch hitters, and were mostly only hired to make sure to drive a battle home quickly.
-The clan/group (Hagiwara) was not known for their stamina and weren’t hired too often, so they established a merchant business under the founding family’s name (Asama)
Ln: hang on, so, what’s ‘Hagiwara’ if that wasn’t Kohana’s surname? what does the Hagiwara name refer to if it’s not the surname of the founding family?
Also maybe explain a bit more of the core principles. If the clan is so big on peace and even has a merchant empire, why did they develop such a decisive fighting style, and how? Were they like the Shaolin monks, who observed, but didn’t participate in most worldly happenings?
Trivia!!
-Sengen is one of the many names Kono-hana-no-sakuya-hime is known by (Sengen name comes from the depiction of the Flower goddess scattering Camilla petals)
-Botan {Tsuyu, Ryuu and Yosho’s sensei) is one of the last ninja descendants of the Hagiwara
-Sengen’s name was originally Senben xP A site mistranslated the name
-Sengen likes wearing heavy/detailed/traditional kimonos in her spare time
-despite her friendly and easy to approach attitude, She didn’t have many friends because being the head of a clan often meant most saw her as untouchable.
-Sengen was a REALLLLLY lonley character
I really like Sengen! I love the values and traits of the clan and your exploration in roles of females in both the social and biological way. The detail about vanity is especially appreciated, though how does it apply to men? How is the lineage passed down, is it through female, in honor of the female founder, or is it patriarchal?
Another aspect that you might want to look into is her childhood. I know you said Sengen finds it ‘hard to establish any honest friendships’, but is that consistent throughout her childhood, or did that happen after her induction as leader of the clan? There are also many political angles that you could consider from having Sengen as the leader of a clan. Are there inner disputes, on what, and how does Sengen solve them? What about inter-clan relations? The Hagiwara doesn’t sound like a particularly popular clan, and they also manage a trade empire on the side. Surely that racks up enemies, how does Sengen deal with that?
Setting the OC in the pre-village era gives you a lot of freedom for creativity! You might not have been able to say everything here since it’s a character submission, so you could very well have answers to those questions already. You’re on great track!
You mentioned a design review? ^^
The outfit is pretty, very much so, which totally fits, since her clan is beauty-oriented, but if that is her clan-head attire, then I’d say it’s not extravagant enough. I headcanon that pre-village era is one of huge disparities, so imo Sengen’s official attire should be more lavish, with way more layers, more makeup, more elaborate hair and ornaments, all over her. And preferably with some huge, un-manageble-without-an-aide trail.
If the attire is her combat attire, then I think that the clan head’s current attire is a little too not-useful. Since she’s so tall, and her clan specializes in lethal, game-ending strikes, clothes should actually be more close-fitting to avoid trailing bits getting in their way, and short fabrics like Sengen’s current bottom piece would be scaled up in size and be both flappy and not much protection. Since they use lethal strikes, I actually think it’s viable that they would incorporate lots of padding into their attire so that the force of their hits doesn’t rebound, which would mostly be around the lower leg, feet, upper arms and hands. And that would eventually morph into decorative+functional padding.
Though, this outfit is okay for her super-causal, everyday wear, and I say that because the Warring Clans era would be quite conservative outside of the battlefield, and allowing even a clan that emphasizes beauty to walk around with so much leg revealed could be scandalous. Or you could just spin it as Sengen’s personality to go against societal norms.
Also, I read this somewhere, that the kimono shows sexuality not through showing leg (that too, but) but showing the neck. So you can think about keeping the open-collar sleeves but changing the undershirt to a tank, so Sengen shows a lot of neck and shoulders.
Another interesting idea is the possibility of Sengen, being clan head, using fabrics and fashion choices to hide battle scars/wounds. It could help to explain away some hanging bits of fabric, like her asymmetrical sleeve could actually hide some scar or blemish on her arm that otherwise could be called out for in the beauty-centered clan culture.
That said, your character is very well-developed, the story is logical and makes sense, and you even made such a great drawing of your character! A lot of effort must have been put in, so if you just go that little bit further she would be so much better! Keep up the great work!
- Ln
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay, so I really love Yut, because of his design and character traits and stuff, but I really hate him too because he ruins a lot of lives, but in general, he's such a great antagonist in your stories. I know you've got some long stories going on, but is it okay to write a fic where Reaper finally snaps because Yut wants him to kill McCree and the wraith destroys the Omnic? I just want to see Reaper being done with all this shit Yut puts everyone through, especially Genji.
-wipes a tear away- My OverwatchVillain OC....getting hated and loved. He's all grown up now! I'malways surprised when I get prompts with Yut but I can provide c:Gave a bonus teaser at the end of a character that will be joiningteam Talon in the chapter after next one in the long fic > u >just a tiny teaser...For anon! Title: Pass the Pointof No ReturnRating: PG-13Relationship: Reaper and Yut havinga clash
Yut always knew and Yut always had a contingency plan in place for any perceived problem that could arise.Despite that, Reaper knew that it was impossible for even the omnicto plan for every second of his life and have something in place to dispel an attack.
There were points where he wasvulnerable.
Reaper leaned against the wall in therec room, his posture tense, paying only half a mind to the Talonagents quietly talking around him. His attention was focused on thetick of the old clock on the wall. It would be four hours until hewas expected to go on a mission against Overwatch, a mission in whichhe had been told to make sure McCree was brought in dead or Reaperhimself was to be consider a liability. The sort f mission thatReaper knew Yut was sending him on just to entertain his own cruelfancies, as usual, but also to “test” Reaper's sense of“humanity.” The thought of it all made Reaper's handsclench and his shoulders hunch. Never in all the world had a moredespicable piece of hardware than Yut been crafted.
Today though, Reaper was going to makesure the bastard was put down like he should have been years ago.
The minute hand on the clock seemedto be ticking slower and slower with each click and all the while,Reaper felt his nerves grow. His mind was abuzz with whisperedworries, that no matter how well he planned this, Yut would stillknow somehow. He always knew. Another part of him though was pushingthose thoughts down. It was all a part of the persona Yut builtaround himself, that idea that he was omniscient like some sort ofgod.
Mind tricks, after all, were Yut'sforte. Reaper knew the moment he let any sort of apprehension or fearsink its claws into him was the moment he would hesitate for thesingle second that would throw everything into disarray. Yut didn'tknow anything of what was to come. He had to believe that.The clock finally hit theappointed time and Reaper pushed himself off the wall where he hadbeen brooding and moved swiftly into the hallway. No one spared him asecond glance, they never did. To anyone in the base, he seemed to begetting ready for his mission. He paused for a moment , pressing tothe side of a corridor, just out of sight as a battalion of troopsmoved by with Widowmaker in the lead. Picking up the rear of thegroup was the hunched figure of their newest “recruit”. Yut's“prodigy” as it were, his little assassin stolen from the Shimada and his loyal student.
That was two individuals far from Yutwhen he was brought down and the two most likely to interfere withthis whole plot of treachery Reaper was about to enact. No one neededto get hurt, no one but Yut. Reaper didn't try to hide his presence as he entered the room, that wasn't part of the plan. Eventhough the fallen monk didn't know everything, he was more than alittle sensitive to even the tiniest noise, even a breath was enoughto have the omnic aware of an intruder within his vicinity. Thiswhole plot hinged on playing Yut at his own game of deception,approaching as an ally and revealing his hand only at the lastpossible moment.
Yut stood with his back to him, at easeas watching the screen flicker and move faster than any human mindcould perceive. The omnic didn't even bother to turn around toaddress Reaper when he spoke, his voice a soothing, calm almost kindsounding hum.“I thought you had a mission to go on?” Heasked idly.“I do but you didn't give all the details, didyou?” Reaper responded, crossing his arms. “Oh? Whatdetails do you think I left out?” Yut asked, now turning around,head tilted curiously.Reaper kept his arms crossed andposture lacked, cocking his head to the side, “What is the realpoint of having us go after McCree? The man is a drunk. Barelyfunctional. Yet you have us chasing him when we got bigger targetslike Jack Morrison or the Overwatch to be concerning ourselves with.Doesn't make sense tactically,”
“He is part of Overwatch and what yousay may be true, humans, Reaper, are emotional creatures. Some peoplemay not be useful, but they mean a lot to so many. McCree is afulcrum in their group, one who holds them together,” The omnicfolded his hands together, his tone chiding, “Are you finding itdifficult to kill him? My word, you've grown so very soft. First withGenji, now with McCree,”He was being mocked and Reaper felthis shoulders tense but he didn't drop his arms from where they werecrossed overh is chest, staring down the wretched bastard before him,“What you said can be true of anyone in Overwatch. They are allclose,”“Ah, that is true! A little close-knit family,”Yut chuckled, “Something we are lacking in Talon, aren't we? We allseem to not trust each other so fully!”The monk turnedaway, back to the console and reached to idly press a few keys, “Butreally your concerns matter not Reaper. You have your orders and youhave an American stereotype to put in the ground or are you going tobail on this one like you did with the cyborg?”Yut onlyglanced a bit over his shoulder, watching Reaper as the mercenaryshifted, dropping his arms to his side and turning towards the door,“Genji was different,”“Different because you developedmisplaced feelings for him. I think you should realize that riskingyour life to protect others is foolish,” Yut drawled, turning backto his work, “Martyr are over-rated. It is better to live as the wise man than die the foolish hero,”
“Let go of your humanity,” Reaperdrawled, his tone bitter as he quoted what Yut said more often thennot as he made his way to the door, “How about you try and findsome for a change,”The words caused Yut to begin to turn, almost curious at the sudden lash back. As he did, Reaper was alreadyturning away from the door, shotgun in hand and firing off a barrageof bullets. The fallen monk managed to avoid a few but two shotsconnected, one in the right shoulder and the other into his torso.For a human, the second shot would have been lethal but an omnic hadno organs or critical systems that would bleed out from such hits. Ifanything, all it did was cripple Yut. That was not to saythat made it any easier to kill him. The monk didn't botherto speak, fury crackling in his form as he gathered up energy abouthim, electricity crackling at his finger tips ready to be unleashedas Reaper already threw himself forward into a roll, barely dodgingthe arch of lighting that lashed out where he had been before. Theomnic, wounded as he was, simply began to levitate, already moving onthe attack.“I can't say this is surprising,” Yut finallysaid as he launched another attack at Reaper, “I expected you to bethe rebel of the group, the one who couldn't let go of the past.Unable to commit again to any cause just like in Blackwatch,”Reaperducked behind cover as he tossed his used up shotguns away andsummoned up a pair of new ones. He didn't respond to Yut's words,knowing that the bastard was trying to get him to make a mistake andget him to slip up. He was looking to exploit every weakness he couldto put Reaper down.
The mercenary wasn't about to let Yuthave a chance to try. He rolled out and opened fire, Yut shifting back to avoid the shots as he sent energy towards thewraith. Reaper pushed forward, ignoring the singes of energy againsthis skin, burning lizard away and leaving burned wounds. He chargedforward even as the clip emptied and threw the empty guns forward.The weight was enough to send Yut off balance, the fallen monkletting out a sibilant guttural sound that only a machine couldproduce before Reaper had tackled him against the wall, a gun pressedto his temples.“You talk too much,” Reaper snarled.Yutlaughed. The bastard just laughed in his face as if this wholesituation was amusing to him, his posture slack and with no hint thathe even cared that he was about to die. He lifted a hand only forReaper to slam the hand not holding a gun against it , digging talonsinto wiring and metal, feeling satisfied as it shrieked andcrumpled. Yut jolted but that did nothing to cause him toshow any hint of fear. The omnic only tilted his head, staring atReaper, “I talk too much, but you hesitate too much,” He returnedidly, “and you might kill me now, blow me away, but you aren'tgoing to stop me. I don't leave my plans simply in my ownhands,”Reaper growled, leaning in, “Still doesn't changethe fact watching you die is going to give me insurmountablejoy,”“I know,” Yut chuckled and tilted his head, as ifleaning into the gun as he spoke again, “I leave what happens nextin your hands,”The gun went off and the bullet tore throughhis head, destroying the delicate processors that stored the datathat had convulsed into the monster known as Amartya Yut. The body jolted as the lights flickered off and the whole body fell to thefloor with a soft groan. Reaper stood panting some over the body,feeling the tremors of fatigue and the slight burn of his wounds.Yut's last words though were cryptic, as if he wasn'tspeaking to-The hiss of the door closing behind him hadReaper whirling about, weapons raised only for his entire body tostiffen, both guns falling from his hands as he stood there, cursinghimself for once more playing the fool. The twin blades werethrough his chest and into his very core already, black ichor oozingout as whatever poison was tipped on the blades was starting to undohis form. A carefully prepared assassin that knew what was about tohappen.
Yut always knew, didn't he? Always knewand prepared.The young woman at the end of the blades movedto lean beside him, wrapping an arm about Reaper's waist as she easedhim to the floor even as he wheezed and started to come apart. Shechuckled softly as she reached to place an armored finger against hismask, trailing the digit down over the white mask, shushing himsoftly, “Don't speak,” she whispered, “You can sleep easy,Reaper. My master said it would eventually fall to me to finish hiswork, to wipe out this world. I’ve prepared. I know I can do it,” Even if he wanted to speak,Reaper couldn't his throat filling with that same black ichor as heclutched at her. She left the weapons buried in his body as shebrought up another hand to cup his head as his world began to growblack.The last words he heard were a horrific promise as shechuckled, tilting her head, “Don't worry... I'll send chichi to yousoon in hell. He’ll want to be with you so terribly he’ll die quickly for me I bet,” she giggled, trembling a bit as if the thought excited her before she shushed herself loudly, her tone becoming chiding, “Be patient. Be patient. That is what master alwayssaid. Must be patient. But yes, I'll send chichi and everyone else to keep you company soon,”
Then she began to laugh, as all pretense of kindness left her and she let Reaper hit the floor hard, gripping her weapons digging into him even as life bled out of him.
Yut was dead but now, there was no oneto hold the chain of the apprentice he had taken, the secret weaponof the Shimada clan that had been forged for one purpose in life and stolen into Talon’s care to craft into a true demon.“Bastard...” the word was a final curse as he went slackin the embrace of the monster that held him.
Yut always knew. Yut always prepared.
It was never that easy to terminate hiswill.
#Overwatch#Overwatch fanfiction#Shipping Snacks for Hungry Shippers#spoilers some#for my long fic Stand and watch the whole world burn#implied Reaper/Genji#Overwatch OCs#Reaper#Gabriel Reyes#Amartya Yut#new secret OC#character death
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
A lot of things happened this month....
2017 began and I had an anxiety attack because I ended up not getting the money I needed to pay my bills, cried about it for an hour, and searched for roommates.
Holiday break ended and I had to retake a class I failed, also I managed to pass 3 assignments with all A+’s. I quit on 1 assignment because I didn’t understand it at all.
I hit 700 subs on YouTube thanks to symbolicattachment tweeting about me.
My hair is growing out and I’ve started pulling it again. Not good. My dysphoria and anxiety causes me to literally pull it out.
I confessed to one of my crushes that I like him and all he had to say was “thank you I appreciate you telling me” which is fine, but I wasn’t rejected so I don’t want to talk to him again because I’m literally afraid to creep him out. (I mean, we are very sex positive in the community were in, but god forbid feelings happen.)
The roommates that were supposed to move in haven’t talked to me in 2 weeks and I have to start looking for roommates again.
I have to pay twice next month on my lights and my internet because I can’t find someone to move in before the month is over.
I have felt crippling anxiety and depression now that 2017 started. I am constantly afraid to leave my apartment to even walk my dogs. I force myself out of bed to walk them before I even make my coffee. Most of the time I sit at my desk and distract myself from my anxiety and depression and forget to walk my dogs before bed. I’m terrible.
I am incredibly lonely. I miss my Sir every fucking day. I have fantasies almost constantly, and desperately want him to collar me.
I tried mens underwear for the first time 2 days ago and I have felt so much better about myself.
I had my dad over and ever since that day I’ve had a fucking cold. I’ve cleaned my apartment a lot, but my vacuum is fucking broken and I can’t even clean my carpet because its broken.
My dads old cabinet has been infested with roaches that the moment I moved it, they scattered. Now my apartment is infested and the only way I can get them out is if I have the front office come and spray. But my social anxiety keeps me from actually going to the office. My fear of authority figures keeps me from asking for help and idk what to do.
I found out by my own discovery that I might have an eating disorder. I’m not happy with myself about it. Since 2010 when I gained 70 lbs., I’ve been trying to get back to my 100 lb. weight (the closest I’ve been was 118 lbs. when I was working at McDonald’s in 2014) and I’m disappointed in myself. Being a broke college student helps me lose weight because I have to ration food for 30/31 days at a time. When holiday breaks happen, its even worse because I don’t have money for food so I end up rationing food for 2 weeks to make last for 2 months.
I found out that I don’t qualify for food stamps because I don’t work at my school. I can’t find a job because everything I can walk to isn’t hiring and I can’t get a job that requires a car. My town is fucking dead.
I started a Patreon but I’m scared of sharing it. I have an intense fear. People have said rude things to me for stuff like this before, but I’ve never felt so much fear in a long time. Starting my Patreon is a big step, and I was hoping to wait until I hit 1K subs on YouTube. But my financial situation has caused me to have anxiety attacks so I can no longer wait for that next milestone. (If you wanna know what my Patreon is, here’s the link.)
My 3 year old dog is attacking my 13 year old dog more often and that terrifies me. The 13 year old dog is also sleeping pretty much all the time, only awake for food and potty time. He also hides under my bed and underneath the TV stand in my living room. He’s losing his eyesight more, his arthritis is worse now, and he’s lost nearly all his teeth. I know its coming, and I don’t want it to be this year. I really don’t.
One of my childhood songs has been ruined thanks to Killing Stalking. I can’t think about Christmas day opening a sketchbook and pencils and playing PS2 anymore.
I live in America. I am a pansexual trans male with a uterus and ovaries still. I have no health insurance. I am polyamorous and mentally unstable. Having to know that Trump was sworn into the White House as the President scares the ever-loving shit out of me. I am afraid.
I was having an art stream today and someone requested for me to draw their OC. First time someone asked me to draw their OC, and I had fun doing it. It reminded me that drawing can be fun again. I quit awhile back because I wasn’t having fun with it. I still love making YouTube videos, but maybe I should dabble in other forms of art (drawing, making audios, photography).
The month isn’t even over and I already want this year to be over.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
bacahororro-blog
Baca Horror
twomuchdolan
TWOmuchDOLAN
babyspic3x
chloe.
markluci
Health & Beauty
roxanneslosteyez
Summer's art blog