#tell me you didn't watch black sails without telling me you didn't watch black sails

[runawaymarbles]

FUNNIEST critique of Black Sails ever I am dying

[goddessofmischief]

can i request anything mihawk related and him pining after y/n

       —   I CAN SEE YOU (YOUNG MIHAWK X READER)

A/N: this is part of this series, which requests are open for! These fics are all one-shots, so they can be read separately.

He'd been thinking about you a lot lately.

You, the pretty girl who sailed with the Roger Pirates and made port in the same towns he did from time to time. You, who seemed to always be flanked by the boy with the red nose and the other boy with the red hair.

You. You. You.

You were clever - he noticed that at once - you had to be, to hold your own with so many men stronger and older than you, and he watched as you navigated through one dangerous situation after another, always escaping unscathed. The other boys tried to help, of course, but you didn't need them at all. Mihawk noticed that, too.

He liked the sort of clothes you wore - usually a bit oversized, which made sense, so you didn't have to buy new ones every time you grew, an unfortunate practicality for anyone growing up at sea - and often velvet, or satin, or with embroidered patterns, and usually in dark shades of olive, maroon or black. Sometimes cotton dresses of the palest ivory, which he also liked.

Mihawk had made a habit of always noticing the appearance of others, and judged them quite harshly on it - not their looks or dimensions or things they could not change, but how well they presented themselves. Living the way he did, the way you did, did not lend itself to luxury or composure or cleanliness, so he noticed whenever anyone paid special attention to how they looked.

You did. He never caught you without loosely wound curls, brushed out, or loose buns, or intricate braids that he sometimes heard the red-haired pirate protesting at doing for you. Mihawk noticed all of these things because they were things he liked about himself, and he liked them about you, too.

But even after all this liking and appreciating, which had gone on for many months now, he could never have the strength to talk to you. It wasn't for his own insecurity, although Mihawk was a good deal less boastful and more shy than most of the pirates his age, but more for fear of what he might say when he actually spoke to you for the first time. He had never struck out with girls before, but that was mostly for lack of trying. They found him, most of the time, and either liked his Hawk-Eyes or they didn't.

It was on one of those days, where Mihawk had made port at a small island and was sipping on a flute of wine at a small bar, that he found himself gazing at you again. You'd just stumbled off Roger's ship, and seemed in awe of your surroundings. Your friends already held drinks far too big for them and had wandered off, staring at the skyline, but you were clearly unsure of what to get. Mihawk watched as your fingernail dragged against a small menu, tracing every option, hesitating around the ones with dried flowers in them. You liked dried flowers, evidently, and he would remember that.

The thought crossed his mind that he might go get a drink for you, and perhaps begin some sort of conversation-

No. No. Stupid.

You could get your own drink.

And you were about to, it seemed, when a rather terrifying-looking mercenary pressed a blade to your back. Mihawk immediately reached for his own, which he had fondly nicknamed 'Yoru,' and had not yet seen much action.

"How'd you find me?" you said, voice trembling.

"Followed you," said the mercenary. "You owe us. We know you only gave us half of what you found when you raided that vault."

"That's not true," you said, and Mihawk felt you were telling the truth, although he may have been biased. "It just wasn't as much as you thought it would be-"

The mercenary forced his blade closer, and Mihawk decided he couldn't allow this to go on for one more second. Moving quietly, he removed Yoru from his scabbard, and drew the blade against the mercenary's neck.

"Move aside," said Mihawk, trying to make his voice more steady than it felt.

The mercenary stared him down.

"Who are you?"

"Dracule Mihawk," he said. "And I'd like you to step away."

"I refuse."

What happened next was completely uncalled for and also fated. Mihawk simply moved the sword very quickly to the side, and the mercenary fell, and that was the end of it.

It was not the first blood Dracule Mihawk had ever spilled. It was, however, the first blood he had spilled with this particular sword.

This sword, which would live on in infamy long after he was gone, this sword, which would become synonymous with not only his name, but swordsmanship itself.

First blood, this sword, and it had all been over you.

History would forget.

...But you would remember.

[mvrtaiswriting]

Menace x Black Leg Sanji ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :

hello hello hello! I know I said I would take a break to focus on uni work but ever since I had this dream I felt the need to write it. it kept bothering me and I simply couldnt focus on anything else but THIS. I adore this dork and I am happy I got to write about him. so.. here we go again :D I hope you'll enjoy this, do let me know what you think!

warning: MAJOR spoilers of The Whole Cake Island Arc. other than that, sfw, slightly angst, usual one piece violence I guess?? this was written with a fem reader in mind but apart from a lil description of the outfit, no pronouns are used and everything is pretty gender neutral.

feel free to reblog, like, and leave a comment. i would very much appreciate it. if you enjoy my works, click here to read more or buy me a coffee.

─── story under the cut to avoid spoilersss ↓

"I can't believe he's getting married." you said to yourself with grinned teeth, unable to even look at Sanji. You watched from afar as the whole crew greeted him and offered their congratulation, seemingly accepting the fact that he would leave the crew to join Big Mama's reign. It was a possibility you never considered, to not have him around all the time. Since when was he the type to be a loyal husband, the prince of a reign that never belonged to him - accepting the surname of the family that always rejected him?

To think he accepted the marriage without even consulting any of you, not even Luffy - it made your blood boil. He told you during dinner that he already packed his luggage, that this was the end of his journey - that his family wanted him to get married and he couldn't back away from it. He asked his beloved crew and captain to understand and to not start anything dangerous; he didn't want to be rescued or helped, he was fine accepting his destiny. "It's for the best", he kept repeating and everybody seemed to agree. But not you. How could he ever agree to something so stupid? How could he expect you to be fine with him getting married and disappearing from your life?

When the Germa66 ship finally approached the Sunny, it was time for Sanji to go. He had looked for you everywhere - he really wanted to say goodbye, to hold you in his arms one last time. But it was too much to bear for you; you were furious at him and watching him depart made your heart ache in way you didn't even know existed. And so you hid away from everyone, and from him. Staying in the gym the whole time trying to sweat your nervousness out, you could hear Sanji asking your crew mates to tell you he really wanted to see you once last time, which only made you punch the heavy punchbag in front of you stronger.

When Sanji finally sailed away, Zoro reached you in the gym, stopping the punchbag from swinging around.

"Luffy has a plan to rescue that damn chef. I think you might be interested." he said, a hint of sarcasm accompanying his words despite his genuine intentions. A tiny wave of relief crashed against your body - you knew Luffy wouldn't have let that stupid cook leave without a fight.

Exactly a week after Sanji's departure, you and your crew managed to sneak in Big Mama's territory. Perfectly blending in with the rest of the population, you safely navigated through the cities, which were all decorated for the wedding. Images of Sanji and her future wife flooded the streets; the wedding was the centre of every conversation and despite the visceral nuisance this caused you, at least it was easy for you to gather all the information you needed.

"You look beautiful." Nami smiled at you, fixing your hair. "You'll make his head spin, don't worry." she winked, smiling widely as she admired the way you were dressed.

A short, sparkly black dress wrapped your body gracefully, valuing your best curves and making it impossible to not look at you. One of Sanji's old blazer jackets completed your look, its golden buttons matching your jewellery. If you had to attend his wedding, you had to at least look nice. Your knee-high boots made your steps echo around the reception room, the rhythmic clicking of your heels contributing to the pre-existent noise.

Sitting down at your table, you noticed just how close you were to the altar. A shiver ran down your spine, the feelings you have constantly ignored coming to the surface all at once. Your hands started to shake as you realised you were about to see Sanji again after all that happened - the door you slammed on his face the last time he tried to talk to you, the goodbye you never got to say. A warm sensation came creeping him from your neck, rising to your cheeks and colouring them of a scarlet red. A subtle feeling of anxiety settled in your chest; you were about to see the man you love walk down the isle to marry someone else - without him knowing that you and your crew were moments away from blowing everything up and officially challenging one of the Four Emperors.

You sat and watched the ceremony in silence, tears flooding your eyes but never streaming down your cheeks. You bit your bottom lip as Pudding, Sanji's soon-to-be wife, read her vows; they were beautiful, surely. But how could they be true?

Unable to keep watching, you shifted your gaze away from the happy couple in front of you; finally noticing the mess your captain was about to make. It only took Luffy a couple of seconds to bring hell upon the ceremony, officially challenging Big Mama and everyone who tried to stand in his way, making your presence finally known - not only to the enemy, but to Sanji as well.

Realising what had just happened, Sanji scanned the crowd quickly - and for a moment, his eyes finally found yours after what felt like an eternity. A smirk formed on his face as he started to run towards you, kicking anyone who blocked his way. However, Big Mama had other plans than making the two of you reunite, and before Sanji could reach you, a big hand engulfed him in its grip, disappearing into the crowd and behind the majestic pillars of the ball room.

"SANJII!" you screamed at the top of your lungs, shutting down every other background noice and piercing through every walls, every ear, every heart. The battle stopped for a second as you fell on your knees - an excruciating pain held your heart hostage, making your chest ache with every breath you took.

"GO!" Nami screamed back at you, using her Clima-Tact to indicate the direction Sanji was taken to.

Heartbroken and more furious than ever, you finally got up. This was your battle after all, you didn't travel this far to give up so easily. Walking against the crowd's flow, you made your way to the palace in which Sanji was held hostage - ruthlessly eliminating any enemy you encountered along the way. Blood stains covered your face as you walked along the corridors of Big Mama's place, one confident stride after the other. Opening door after door, killing one guard after the other, frustration kept building inside your veins. You were tired of this, and you were angry; at Sanji, for accepting this stupid proposal, at yourself, for not confessing your feelings before, at every. damn. enemy. that kept coming your way.

Until something happened.

A weird, overwhelming, new sensation made your muscles tense and your senses heighten. Before you could even realise it, a powerful wave of haki destroyed every thing around you, causing window's glass to shatter against the floor and walls to crumble down one after the other, tumbling Big Mama's castle down. And that's when you finally saw him - in the middle of ruins, amongst a dusty cloud of concrete, his burning cigarette shined red. Those who were previously guarding him were now under the remains of the castle, setting Sanji finally free.

"You look beautiful." was all he said, his eyes piercing right through you as he watched you from afar, not moving a single muscle to shorten the distance between the two of you.

"We should go." you replied, shifting your gaze away from him, unable to maintain eye contact. Fighting against every fibre of your body, you stayed exactly where you were. He was safe, and single for all that mattered, and that was enough.

"So, this is it? Not even a little "I missed you?"" he asked, finally walking towards you. Before you could even realise it, now being only a few inches away from you - the strong, yet familiar smell of tobacco and his usual cologne tingling your nose.

"Guess we're even now." you replied stingy, hoping your words hit him exactly where it hurt the most.

"I just wanted to protect you." Sanji replied calmly, taking another hit from his cigarette and gently tucking your hair behind your ear.

"I don't need you to protect me, Sanji!" you said, placing your closed fist against his chest, trying to fight the lump in your throat. "I needed you to stay. I needed you to choose us, to choose me." you finally admitted, slightly punching him by letting your fist weakly hit his chest.

Sanji's entire body completely froze for a moment, processing what you just said. This was the closest thing he ever got to a confirm that, whatever was happening between the two of you, was real - not something he just created in his head. All the times you helped him clean the kitchen until late, the way your drunken self would always end up between his arms, looking for comfort. It all made sense now.

"I would always choose you." he said, resting his forehead against yours, making your heads slightly bump together. Noticing (and recognising) the blazer jacket you were wearing, he smiled before gently fixing the way it fell upon your shoulder.

"Hey." he said again, noticing how you sighed in response. "I mean it." he added, grabbing your chin in between his thumb and index finger, forcing you to look at him.

"Look at the mess we made for you." you laughed, trying to lighten the tension between the two of you.

"Jealousy looks hot on you." he smirked. "and makes you incredibly powerful, too." he appreciated, noticing how you destroyed every obstacle in your way.

"I'm not jealous, shut up." you hissed as you felt warmth spread around your cheeks, blushing like a teenager in love.

"Oh, so I could have gotten married anyway." he shrugged his shoulders, teasing you.

Grabbing him from the collar of his shirt, you pulled him towards you - his tall figure still towering you, noses brushing against each others.

"You better cut all the stupid swooning if you don't want me to earn your bounty. Deal?" you threatened him, a soft smile escaping your lips making you sound a little less terrifying that you wished.

A small laugh escaped Sanji's lips before he wrapped his arms around your waist, making you let go of his shirt.

"Deal, you little menace." he giggled, before finally pressing his lips onto yours.

[ohtobeleah]

Minimal Losses // Jake Seresin

Chapter Two // Partner in Crime

Summary: Hangman takes you up for a fly over turned impromptu training session only to show up at your dorm with a peace offering you can’t refuse.

Warnings: None. Fluff? Jake Seresin x female reader pairing.

Word Count: 4.1k

Author Note: I don’t know about you but I love this version of Jake. He’s just so soft. My heart really cannot take it. MASTERLIST

“Shouldn't that be you out there Romeo?” Rooster couldn't help but to quip as his hands came down to slap against Jake's shoulders from behind. Both men watching as Bob helped guide you up the wing of Jake's new double seater super hornet. “Or has that ship sailed already?” 

“Nope, the ship is still docked–” Jake responded with a grin, watching as Bob helped you settle into the cockpit. Laughing nervously as embarrassment flooded your systems when you slipped a little and lost your balance–falling into Bob without meaning to. “We cleaned our slate.” Jake Seresin wasn’t a man that believed in love at first sight, but you were starting to make him question his long-standing beliefs. 

“Ah, so you aren't gonna hold any grudges for her little escape stunt?” Oh god Jake had forgotten he’d spilled the beans on that one. He was so used to flaunting his conquests to his friends, his colleagues. Jake had never really cared enough about whoever he’d been fooling around with enough to not blurt out all the horny details—but you? Well it was quite simple really. Jake didn’t want everyone on base knowing what you were like to be with. At least it was just Rooster, and at least he only knew about the way you left and not the way you came. “Let bygones be bygones huh?” 

“Yeah, we’re gonna just start fresh. Told her I’d let the dine and dash thing go as long as she promises not to turn around and arrest me for borderline domestic assault.” Jake didn't stick around to hear Rooster's response. All he knew was that the expecting father stood in utter shock at Jake's admission that whatever you two had gotten up to together on Saturday night, that it had been pretty full on. 

“Okay so Hangman's just taking you up for a fly over, we’ll be up there not far behind you but in case of emergency–this is your ejection handle.” Bob pointed to the yellow and black striped handle that was under your seat between your legs. “It's not a fun experience by any means but it sure is better than the alternative.” 

“Have you ever had to eject lieutenant Floyd?” Bob could hear it in your voice, you were nervous as all hell. Nodding in response to your question, Bob checked over all the systems. Turning on the radar for you and making sure the back up radio was in fact operational. 

“A time or two, the last time I had to eject it was from a bird strike.” 

“What's that exactly?” 

“It's when a bird gets caught in the engine, can't really control nature or the weather.” Bob physically saw the panic rise in your eyes as he double checked you were strapped in properly. “Sorry ma’am.” His voice softened as he fiddled with the straps. “Are you not good with planes?” 

“Um, if I can avoid them I will, but uh–I guess I can't really do that if this is meant to be my job right?” You were trying to downplay your fear, you were terrified of flying. Usually you had to be self medicated for anxiety whenever you got on a commercial flight. A fighter jet was a pretty big step up. But to let your own fears interfere with an ongoing investigation would be a disservice to yourself and those you were sworn to protect. 

“Well, Hangman’s a pretty good pilot, just don't tell him I said that because he’ll never let me forget about it.” Bob tried his best to soothe your obvious fears, not having realised Jake was coming right up behind him. 

“You know Bob, I think in all the time we’ve flown together, I think that's the only compliment you've ever really paid me.” Jake smirked as he walked up the wing, jumping into the front seat of the cockpit. Bob couldn't roll his eyes any more than he did. Causing you to laugh behind your hand. “Ready to go Agent Kas?” Jake beamed as he went through the same procedures he went through each and every time he was getting ready for a flight. Checking all his systems and making sure everything was working the way it should be. “Robert, unless you're planning on making this a threesome man, I'd be getting going if I were you.” Again, Jake heard you laugh and he was instantly addicted to that sound just as much as he was addicted to the way you moaned his name in his ear. Perhaps even more. 

“Right, I'll uh–see you when I get up there ma’am.” Nodding softly and pressing his lips together. Bob made his way down the wing of the plane before vanishing out of sight. Walking towards where Rooster still stood in disbelief. “Hey, is there something going on with Agent Kas and Hangman? Am I missing something?” 

“Oh yeah.” Rooster sighed as he clipped his helmet to his vest. “Yeah big time buddy—but doesn’t mean you can’t have a crack right?” Rooster liked to stir, especially whenever it involved Jake Seresin. “Shoot your shot before it’s too late.” 

“Probably not a good idea—“ Bob knew well enough to leave Hangman's stuff alone, if he’d already called dibs then he wasn’t going to interfere. He did think you were pretty though. That he’d openly admit. 

“Yeah I probably wouldn’t wanna be Eskimo brothers with Bagman either.” Pretending to shiver at the idea, Rooster slapped the back of his palm into Bob's chest. C’mon man we better get up there.” Bob didn’t move, still processing what Rooster had so easily let slip. “Don’t want them having all the fun right?” 

“Wait, they slept together?” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Okay aviator’s—“ Pete Mitchell’s voice came through your communications as you looked out over vast distance of clear blue sky. Only a few clouds in sight. “This session is all about free fall control.” Wait what? Hang on a minute no one had told you that! 

“Uh, Lieutenant Seresin, are you participating in that exercise?” Your voice was shaking as you tapped Jake on the shoulder. He couldn’t help the grin that plastered itself across his face. 

“I wasn’t supposed to, I’m just up here for a fly over.” Jake responded. The two seated super hornet had been due for a full scale service and a fly over was a good way to access what could possibly be looked at. “But by the sounds of it you seem pretty keen on joining in so I think we might, what do you say Kasper?”

“Uh I think I’m go—“ Before you could even say that you wouldn’t mind passing on the experience, Jake cut the engines. “Oh holy shit—!” Your hands flew up against the glass of the canopy as you dropped rapidly. Plumitting back down to earth. “Jake!! Jake, stop! Oh my god—!” Jake had full control over the engineless free fall he’d entered. He wouldn’t have put you in a position where he knew he could easily pull himself out of. That was the entire purpose of the training exercise that most of the squad were up running today. 

“It sounds like Kas is having the time of her life. Phoenix chuckled as she regained stability of her aircraft and leveled out. Much like you? Bob jaded free fall exercises, it made his head spin more than usual. 

“Yeah, I’d be just as delighted if I had Hangman for a pilot.” Bob was quick to quip back, you’re pleading still ringing out throughout the comms as Jake finally ignited both engines and leveled out. “He’s gonna have her in shambles by the time they land.” 

“Something tells me she’s gonna need a bucket.” Phoenix laughed. She was keen to see how this played out, knowing how Hangman flew it was only a matter of time before you were either requesting anyone other than him to fly with you or he was apologising with his natural charm dialed up to astronomical heights. Only to do the same thing over and over again. 

“What the fuck is your problem!!” You shouted as you steadied yourself in your seat. Fixing your helmet that had been so kindly made for you. Kasper in bold lettering with two cartoon ghosts on the front. 

“Consider us even for the sneak out—“ Jake beamed. Laughing to himself as he heard you gagging and heaving in the backseat of his F-18. “Vomit bags under your seat Sweetheart.” 

“I thought we had a clean slate!?” Coughing up whatever you’d just thrown up into the bag Jake had told you was under your seat, you wished you could see his stupid face. Probably smug and full of himself. “I said I was sorry, okay!” For a brief moment Jake wondered if he’d taken it too far, but then the realisation hit that you’d have to pass yourself off as a weapons system officer. You wouldn’t be able to do that if you couldn’t handle a free fall. 

“How do you expect to pass as a TopGun graduate if you can’t even handle a barrel roll?” 

“I’m kinda banking on the fact I’m really good at what I do so I won’t have to go up in one of these while I’m onboard the Lexington.” You let your head fall back against the seat. Lulling side to side. “If you really just did that because of the way I left on Sunday you really need to reevaluate your priorities.” Jake was head over heels. He knew well enough to know he didn’t fall often, but when he did he fell hard and he fell fast. “God I’m gonna be sick again—“ 

“Jesus, I hope you’re right about being good at what you do Kas.” Jake shut down the engines again as he forced a controlled plummet. Spinning around and around as he held back on the throttle. “Because if you can’t handle this? I can’t imagine what you’d be like in a dog fight.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

By the time Jake was touching down against the tarmac, you had filled the vomit bag to the very brim. It was needless to say you were incredibly eager to feel solid ground below your feet yet again. 

“This is your captain speaking,” Jake taunted as the canopy popped open. “Please remain seated until cabin crew have cleaned up the mess in the aisle.” You sent the gentleman who’d climbed up the wing to assist you with your impromptu luggage a soft smile. Handing him the knotted bag of vomit before you uncliped and stood up. “Kas I’m just giving you lip alright, you did well.” 

“I don’t need lip from you, son of Satan.” Not wasting a moment as you walked steadily with arms wide—holding you balance down the wing. Jumping to the ground below, you let out a dramatic sigh of relief as you dropped to your knees before laying flat on your stomach. Jake laughed aloud as he watched you from a bird's eye view. “Sweet steady ground.”

“You know, that won’t be the last time you go up right, if anything it’s just the first.” 

“It’ll be the last time I go up with you.” You groaned as you pressed your cheek to the tarmac. “God you fly like you aren’t trying to live, little egomaniacal of you to death roll me in the name of a covert operation.” 

“I fly like lives depend on me—“ Jake corrected you as he jumped off the wing of his F-18, landing right behind you with a thud. “And I can assure you, I’m just trying to help you pass as an avid aviator with flying colours.” 

“You made me throw up!” You knew full and well that you had made yourself throw up, it just wasn’t something you wanted to admit. Jake had a shit eating grin plastered across his face so promptly he could have passed for the Cheshire Cat himself. You had a weak constitution, it never served you well in crime scenes or on planes in general. Add the free fall barrel rolls into the mix and you had the perfect storm made for up chuck city. 

“By the sounds of it you had a full gourmet breakfast.” Watching as you stood to your feet, Jake taunted you a little more, knowing he was getting a rise out of you. “Next time? Try a banana or a bowl of white rice and ginger.” 

“There’s not gonna be a next time—“ Dusting yourself off you scoffed at Jake's advice. “You’re supposed to be my partner! Have my back! You just tried to kill me!” Turning on your heels you walked away without giving Jake a chance to retaliate. 

“You’ll thank me later!” He shouted after you, watching as you flipped him off over your shoulder. Rooster was by his side in no time, having seen the poor display of sportsmanship Jake had shown you. 

“Consider that ship sailed Romeo—“ 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

You were the only resident currently using the dorms on base. As far as you could tell—all the pilots that had been stationed out at Miramar had all been assigned their own off base house. Either one or two bedroom homes that all looked identical besides the personality each one brought to the home they’d moved into. 

You were in the common area living room. If there had been others living on your particular floor you were sure that there would be people buzzing around in the kitchen, dining and living room areas. But it was just you. Basking in the peaceful tranquility the silence of your own company brought, you took a small sip of the tea you were drinking. Hibiscus and strawberry. Sitting the warm coffee cup back onto the coaster before flipping the file you had been reading up on over to the next page. 

Something about pulling apart your pistol, cleaning it in its entirety before putting it back together like a puzzle brought you a sense of calm. To know your weapon inside and out. To know every small piece, every nook and cranny of the service issued weapon made you feel more comfortable with the fact you held the power to take a life away in an instant in your palms. 

As you reached out for your coffee cup full of tea, a gentle knocking coming from the main door of the floor you were the only resident off had your pausing in your play. For a Federal Agent you could be rather skittish. Especially when you weren’t expecting anyone. 

Even if you were on a navy base, you tucked your gun into the waistline of your tracksuit pants. Covering it with the sweatshirt that matched. You jumped from your spot on the ground with another knock timing out through the empty hall.

It wasn’t that you didn’t feel safe, no. It was more the fact that this was your first solo case. You’d always had someone with you—someone watching over you. Sure you had Agent Bradshaw around, but she wasn’t going with you onto the Lexington. She was leaving you in the hand of Jake Seresin. 

Another knock rang out as you padded down the hall. Shifting slightly as you approached the closed and clicked door, you waited a few seconds before asking who it was. 

“Who is it?”

“It’s me—“ Well that really didn’t give you much to go off now, did it?. “Hangman.” Oh, now that said it all. With a huff of frustration and a sigh of relief you swung the door open, revealing Jake who stood in his own sweats with a brown bag and six pack of beers. “Consider it a peace offering.” He gestured to the greased up bag. “Burgers and beers?” Expressionless, you stepped aside to let Jake in. He watched as you closed and locked the front door again, pulling out your gun that had been pressed against the small of your back. Placing it on the dining table carefully—making sure the safety was on. 

“What?” You questioned. “I wasn’t expecting anyone—“

“And your immediate response was to be armed and at the ready?” 

“Better to expect the unexpected than to underestimate the circumstances.” Shrugging your shoulders in response, you eyes off the bag Jake had placed on the table. “Why are you here exactly?” Your stomach growled with a mind of its own—you’d been so caught up with your case research you hadn’t organised yourself dinner. 

“Rooster's wife, you know—your boss.” Diving into the bag for a few stray fries, Jake placed them in his mouth before he went back in. Fishing out and throwing you a burger. You caught it with two hands. Unwrapping it as your glands watered. “Kinda gave me an absolute scathing after you apparently begged her to place you with someone else.”

It was true. The minute you were on solid ground again after Jake had death rolled you into a weeping puddle of throw up and bile, you were matching into Agent Bradshaw's office. 

“I need a new partner!” It hasn’t been a request but a demand. “Jake Seresin just tried to kill me—“ She didn’t even bother looking up from her paperwork. 

“I’ve known Hangman for quite a while now and I can assure you Kasper, he didn’t try to kill you.” 

“I don’t trust him, he could jeopardise the entire operation! How is he supposed to have my back at all times when he’s purposely trying to make me feel weak and vulnerable.” 

“Did Jake make you feel weak and vulnerable or do you naturally feel weak and vulnerable around him?” Agent Bradshaw questioned as she finally raised a cautious brow and looked at you through her eyelids. She’d mastered the art of the Kubrick star that was for sure. “I know he was the one you slept with Kas, and believe me when I say I hope you have enough common sense to get tested.” 

“If you knew I slept with him why didn’t you partner me with someone else?” Agent Bradshaw placed her own down with a soft sigh. Like you were truly interrupting something important. You were, but right now you couldn’t care less. She took a few steps out from behind her desk, opting to rest against it as she crossed her arms over her chest. Forearms testing on her baby bump. 

“Because no one spends the night at Hangman’s house sweetheart, if there’s even the slightest chance he cares? I’m willing to bank good money on the fact he’d have your back no matter the consequences.” 

“Well after the stunt you performed today I wasn’t entirely sure I could actually work with you.” You had already taken a bite of your burger as you sat down at the table. Slumping. Jake offered you a beer before cracking the top, passing it along the wooden table. “But since I’m stuck with you—“ rolling your eyes, you fished out the badge you’d asked Agent Bradshaw for. All it said was NCIS Special Agent. It held no merit on its own without personal credentials. But it was still something. “Consider this my peace offering.” Throwing it underarm style, Jake caught the silver badge with a smile so pure it made your heart flutter momentarily. “It’s NCIS, that’s all she had lying around. Pretty sure it’s actually hers but I didn’t really stick around the press for answers.” 

“What’s the chances of me getting a gun?” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped as Jake shined the badge against his shirt. “Nah this is cool.”

Sitting in comfortable silence for a while as you ate, both you and Jake retreated back to the living room where you’d been going over your case files. Your tea now cold, discarded off to the side as you explained in more detail to Jake what had been going on. 

“So you really think this guys on board the Lexington?”

“I do, but the presence of NCIS and FBI would just freak him out, we need him caught off guard—hence the FBI lead and undercover agent scheme we’re concocting.” 

“And they choose you because?” Jake didn’t know who much weight his question truly carried until he noticed your face drop slightly. Second guessing your response. You wanted to say something along the lines of being the best pick for the job or that it had been your case since the first murders. But you didn’t—you opted for the more believable option. 

“Because it’s easy to go undercover when no one ever really noticed you to begin with Lieutenant Seresin.” It was a harsh tea that you’d learnt to accept a long time ago. It was just the way things were. So when Jake Seresin had paid just a little attention to you at the bar? It was no wonder you were so easily swayed into playing into his charming ways. He got the girl alright, but only because she’d been so deprived of affection for so long that even the slight chance of it falling into her lap had you acting outside of your own personality. 

“That’s why they call you Kasper?” Jake wanted to get to know you, he felt like he’d skipped the first six chapters of a really good book. Skipping all the way to the part where the two main characters fall in love before even reading how they met and who they were. 

“Always invisible, honestly it was an inevitable nickname really.” You tried to hide the sudden onset of bashfulness that had stricken you. Hiding a blushed smile in the dimly lit light of the abandoned living room of the dormitory. 

“But why with a K and not C?” Jake hadn’t noticed the gap between you two had gotten smaller and smaller with every question he asked about the case and even more so with every question he asked about you. 

“It's just how one of my professors spelt it, pretty sure she had some level of undiagnosed dyslexia but I was only like fifteen at the time so I wasn’t about to question it.” Explaining why you had always stuck with Kasper and a K, Jake didn’t want to pass over the fact you had just said professor and fifteen in the same sentence.

“Wait, how old are you again?” Jake frowned for a brief moment, counting on his fingers because the math in his head wasn’t adding up. “When did you graduate?” Holy shit he had broken a federal law hadn’t he. Fuck. 

“I’m twenty six—“ You knew Jake would freak when he found out. But it was bound to happen sooner or later. “But I graduated high school in two thousand and eight.” Yep, this wasn’t math he could do on his fingers. Jake just stared at you, waiting for you to make it make sense. “I uh, I may have graduated high school at like twelve—“

“Twelve!!” Jake shouted as you cupped his mouth. Laughing as you told him to keep his voice down even if no one was around. It was the same response everyone gave you. “Jesus Kas I was just learning how to fucking jerk off at twelve and you had graduated high school!?” 

“I know I know—“ Sitting back on your heels you looked down at the carpet that held scattered papers everywhere, completely defeated. “Even prodigal brilliance doesn’t help me stand out in a crowd.” Jake just looked at you, complete spell bound. He’d never been so intrigued by a woman ever. Especially one so beautifully gifted. 

There was a lingering moment of silence before you went to speak again, but before you could Jake was lurching forward to press his lips against yours. Letting you register what was happening as you softened against him. Welcoming to kiss he so desperately wanted to give you since he’d seen you walk into the hanger. 

“You stood out to me.” Jake mumbled as he pulled away for a brief moment. “Saw you the moment I walked into the bar and knew I had to get to know you.” It has you melting into the palms of his hands. Cupping your face as he kissed you again. This time with more confidence, opening yourself up to Jake you let your tongue explore with his. “And it turns out you’re some sort of genius—“ Jake smirked against your bottom lip,  biting it softly as you gently moaned at the sensation. Lifting you up off the ground as he carried you back toward wherever the hell you pointed. Helping to blindly guide him back towards your room. Your legs wrapped around his waist as your arms wrapped around his shoulders. Fingers carding through blonde locks. 

“Which is so unbelievably sexy agent Kas.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Tags // @auroraboreallisfine @buckythewintersquirrel @a-lil-bit-nuts @bookaholics-stuff @ilovewhalesharks444 @a-serene-place-to-be @alexsisrebekah @rhirhikingston @caitsymichelle13 @twsssmlmaa @chaoticversion @topguncultleader

[incorrectfanfics]

Zutara: Just Tell Him

Summary: The Fire Lord visits the Southern Water Tribe for the Glacier Spirits Festival. But his true objective is to find a way to tell the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe that he's in a relationship with the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador: his daughter, Katara.

CW: Some references to sex and alcohol.

I asked @the-badger-mole about Zuko/Hakoda interactions and then I remembered I'm not so bad at the whole keyboard typing thing myself so I'm pulling a Thanos and "do[ing] it myself."

Enjoy.

Black soot fell on the Southern Water Tribe. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough for the Hakoda, Chief of the Southern Water Tribe to take notice. He called for his top advisors and and a squad of soldiers. They raced towards the docks and waited. They watched as the large metal ship sailed into their waters. The intimidating vessel towered over the horizon. It looked like a warship with a red palace on top. Hakoda knew it could only belong to one man, the Fire Lord.

The ship docked. The ramp came down. Soldiers in red spiked armor marched down and made way for the man himself. He stood tall with a scowl on his face. His long hair pulled back to show the scar that marked almost half his face. The two leaders stood face to face, looking each other in the eyes.

"Chief Hakoda," Zuko said, giving a quick little bow.

"Zuko, my boy! How are you?" Hakoda pulled Zuko in a big polar bear hug so tight he lifted him off the ground. Hakoda let go and let Zuko drop to his feet. Before the Fire Lord could regain his composer, Hakoda gave him a big slap on the back so hard that Zuko almost fell over.

"You look thin. What? Do they not have meat in the Fire Nation?" Hakoda laughed. Zuko could hear snickering coming from his royal guard, but he paid them no mind.

"No, no, we do. It's just...I've been busy," Zuko said, trying to reclaim some dignity. "As a sign of good will, I'm here to attend the Glacier Spirits Festival."

"Then you're early. The festival isn't until this weekend. Where's Aang? I thought the avatar was coming with you," Hakoda asked. Zuko fidgeted uncomfortablly.

"Avatar Aang will not be joining us. He's...on a spiritual retreat," Zuko said.

"Makes sense. He is the avatar. But hey, I've got work to do and I won't keep you long. I know who you're really here to see."

Zuko's head perked up with a blush.

"Really? I didn't-" Zuko was interrupted by a tackle hug from behind, that again almost knocked him off his feet.

"Zuko! Hey, buddy," said Sokka. Sokka wrapped his arms around Zuko's neck pulling him down into a headlock that Zuko playfully tried to get out of.

"Sokka?" Zuko said.

"Hey, it's been it a bit. Where's Aang? He didn't come with you?" Sokka asked.

"He's on a spiritual retreat," Hakoda answered.

"That makes sense. He is the avatar and all," Sokka nodded. "We should catch up. Who's up for lunch on the Fire Lord's tab?"

"Sounds great, son," said Hakoda. "But I've still got some business to take care off. I'll see you all for dinner at the palace. Sound good?"

"See you there, dad," cheered Sokka. He turned with Zuko still under his arm. "Come on, Zuko."

"Sokka, seriously, let me go. It's not funny."

--

Katara worked at her desk and sighed. After traveling the world and defeating the world's strongest benders, looking over legislation seemed really boring in comparison. Her head perked up when she heard a commotion outside her office. Only one person could be this loud in the palace. Sure enough, the door was kicked open without even a knock.

"And then my dad shot her," said Sokka.

"That story gets weirder every time you tell it," said Zuko.

"Hey, Katara, look who's here," said Sokka.

"Zuko!" Katara rushed out from behind her desk and pulled Zuko in for a tight hug. She pulled back as the two locked eyes.

"It's been so long," she said.

"Yes," Zuko nodded.

"No, it hasn't," Sokka interrupted. "She just got back three months ago. And weren't you in the Fire Nation for, like, a year?"

"It's been a long three months, Sokka," said Katara, shooting her brother a quick scowl.

"We were gonna catch up over lunch. Wanna come?" Sokka asked.

Katara cleared her throat and tilted her head at Sokka for a second. Luckily, Zuko got the signal that Sokka missed.

"Yes, I brought gifts actually," said Zuko, "They're still on my ship but I brought some spiced wine for the festival as well as some fire lilies."

"Great," Sokka sarcastically replied, "Because nothing says eternal peace like a flower that's probably gonna die in three days."

"Sokka!" Katara scolded. "That's very sweet, Zuko. Sokka, please make sure the gifts are unloaded safely."

"What? Me? Why do I have to do it?" Sokka asked.

"Because I don't want to and it's you're job," answered Katara, "Mister-in-charge-of-domestic-affairs."

"Well the gifts are from the Fire Nation," Sokka shot back, "Miss ambassador."

"On our shores," Katara said flatly.

"Fine. Whatever." Sokka hung his head in defeat. "Thanks for the booze. I'll meet you at the restaurant, Zuko."

"Sure," Zuko nodded.

Katara waited until she could no longer hear Sokka's grumbling or his footsteps. She locked the door and turned to meet her lover in a tight embrace. Their lips met. The couple kissing as they ran their fingers through each other's hair, reluctantly breaking off to catch their breaths.

"I missed you," whispered Zuko. A tear falling from his eye.

"I missed you too," Katara said. "But you're here earlier than I thought you'd be."

"Your last letter gave me...ideas," Zuko said, blushing.

"Did it now?" laughed Katara. The couple kissed a few more times before taking a seat in the small couch in her office.

"How are things in the Fire Nation?" Katara asked.

"Going well," Zuko answered. "Jee loved the retirement gift you sent him."

"I was his favorite captain after all," Katara boasted.

"So he keeps telling me. Repeatedly," said Zuko. "To be honest, a got a little nervous coming in. I thought your father had found out about us."

"He still doesn't know," Katara said.

"You haven't told him?" Zuko asked. "Why?"

"I don't know. Nerves, I guess," Katara explained. "After the way Aang reacted when he caught us together, I didn't know if anyone else would feel the same way. What did you tell Sokka about Aang?"

"I told him Aang was on a spiritual retreat," Zuko answered.

"That makes sense," Katara nodded. "He is the avatar."

"Katara, what happened with Aang was not your fault."

"I know," she replied. "It was yours."

"What!?"

"I told you to lock the door," she said.

"That's not what I meant," said Zuko.

"I know, but still," Katara sighed. "I don't want to be put in that kind of situation again. Maybe you could tell him. My dad likes you."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Katara cupped Zuko's face in her hands and kissed him.

"Please," she said. "For me?"

"Okay," Zuko relented. Katara pinched Zuko cheeks and shook them a little.

"So pouty," she teased.

"Please stop." Katara let go and giggled.

"So, I hope Sokka takes his time unloading those gifts. What will we do until then?" Katara asked, leaning back against her couch. She raised her arms and put her hands behind her head. Zuko leaned forward over her.

"I remember your last letter. Something about it getting hot in the south pole."

Katara giggled as Zuko leaned in for a kiss. His arms propping himself up on the couch. Katara's hands finding their way down the to sash of his royal garb and then his belt, undoing them the way she had done a dozen times before.

--

The dinner table was a long, fancy layout fit for any palace. Still, the chief's family sat close together at one end of the table. Their food laid out between them with the Fire Lord sitting close by.

"So Zuko," Hakoda asked, "How do you like Water Tribe food?"

"It's different," he answered politely. "Good, but different."

"I'm glad you like it. I didn't know if our humble cuisine would be fit for his lordship," Hakoda chuckled.

"Dad, he's not like that," Katara said. "Here, Zuko, have some more noodles."

"Hey, those are my noodles!" Sokka whined.

"You already had three bowls!"

"Kids," Hakoda interjected. "Not in front of our guest."

Hakoda sighed and shook his head with a smile.

"Some things never change, heh? Sorry about that." Hakoda said to Zuko.

"No," Zuko replied. "It's nice. This is nice. My meals aren't usually this...lively."

"Speaking of meals, sorry I had to miss lunch. But I'm glad you two were able to catch up with the Fire Lord," Hakoda said.

"Actually, it was just me and Zuko," Sokka corrected. "I had to make sure Zuko's gifts for the festival were unloaded from his ship. When I went back to Katara's office she was asleep on her couch, so it was just me and Zuko at the restaurant."

"Really?" Hakoda arched a brow at Katara who blushed.

"I was tired from...work," Katara said.

Hakoda turned to Zuko who looked down at his food as soon as their eyes met.

"Huh," Hakoda mused. "Interesting."

"What? What's happening?" Sokka asked.

"Nothing." Hakoda cleared his throat. "You know, Lord Zuko, it is customary to bring a fresh kill for the village before the festival. Perhaps you'd like to join me tomorrow for a hunt."

"But dad, we already have enough food," Sokka said.

"I know, but it's tradition." Hakoda smiled at Zuko while Katara nervously looked on. "How about it? You'd get to experience a little bit our culture before the festival. As a sign of good will, of course."

Zuko looked around the room before looking for a sign from Katara. She gave a quick albeit nervous nod.

"Of course," Zuko stammered. "I'd be honored to, Chief Hakoda."

"Good man." The tension lifted from the room for a moment. "Now how about some of that spiced wine the Fire Lord brought?"

"Put some fire in your belly, as they say in the Fire Nation. Right, Zuko?" Sokka chuckled.

"Yup," Katara muttered. "That is what they say."

--

The next day, Zuko was tying the knots on his armguards. He'd never been hunting before. Or at least, not successfully. But he was earnest in the attempt. Katara approached him with a fur coat under her arms.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" she asked.

"I'll be fine. Unlike my father, your dad is an honorable man," he replied. "I'm sure he won't try to do anything to me while we're out hunting. Alone. In the middle of a frozen tundra while I try to tell him that I'm sleeping with his daughter."

"Well aren't we confident?" Katara threw the fur over Zuko's shoulders and patted it down, making sure it fit. "This should help keep you warm."

"Thank you," Zuko said. Zuko leaned in, letting his forehead rest on hers.

"No matter what happens," Katara started, "I love you."

"I know." Zuko kissed Katara's forehead. "I love you."

Katara watched as Zuko left the hut out into the bright day of the Southern Water Tribe. The heat from the indoors replace by a cold gust of wind. As his eyes adjusted, Zuko could see Sokka and Hakoda.

"Hey," Sokka greeted as they approached. "Isn't that Katara's hut?"

"Uh..." was all Zuko could say, trying to think of a good answer.

"Never mind that. We're burning daylight," said Hakoda. "Let's go, Lord Zuko."

"Him? What about me?" Sokka asked.

"Sorry, Sokka, but I'm gonna need you to watch over things while I'm gone." Hakoda put his hand on Sokka's shoulder. "It's just for today. A cultural experience for the Fire Lord."

"Fine. I guess," said Sokka. "But I'm going to the next one."

It was quite the walk for the two men. First reaching the limits of the city. Then going out far enough to find wild arctic caribou.

Hakoda taught Zuko the basics. How to track, how to stalk your prey without them noticing, and how to pick your target. Zuko attentively listened and absorbed all of Hakoda's instruction. After a few hours, the two men found a small cave.

"Let's take a break here," Hakoda suggested. The two sat inside the cave. Hakoda reached into his pack and pulled out some firewood and arranged it between them.

"Do you mind?" he asked, gesturing at the wood. Zuko nodded and with a quick punch set the wood on fire. Zuko watched the wood crackle and enjoyed its warmth. Hakoda pulled out a small piece of meat from his pack and offered a piece to Zuko who politely declined.

"We'll be able to see the caribou from here. When the come back around to graze, that's when we'll make our move." Hakoda looked out into the distance. Zuko simply nodded. It was a few more moments before either man said anything. Hakoda was the first, feeling it was the right time.

"Lord Zuko," he spoke up, "I wanted to start by saying thank you for taking care of my daughter while she was staying at the Fire Nation."

"Yes, I mean, yes sir. It was no problem at all," Zuko awkwardly stammered.

"I would hope not. You being the Fire Lord," Hakoda said. Zuko, not knowing how to answer, just coughed.

"So were you supposed to tell me or was Katara going to?" Hakoda asked.

"What?"

"About the two of you." Hakoda crossed his arms and looked right into Zuko's eyes. Zuko, after failing to find the right words, hung his head.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"It wasn't too hard to figure out," Hakoda answered. "Katara is my daughter, but she's also become a beautiful young woman. You're a young man. She lives in the Fire Nation for a year and her letters back home become less and less frequent. Then when she gets home, all she can talk about is you."

"Wow," was all Zuko can say.

"My question is, why did you all try to keep it a secret?" Hakoda asked.

"When Katara was in the Fire Nation," Zuko sighed in the middle of his sentence. "Aang saw us...together. He didn't react well."

"Which would explain why he's not coming to the Glacier Spirit Festival, even though he's the avatar."

Zuko nodded.

"Apparently, he had feelings for Katara but she didn't feel the same."

"I figured as much," Hakoda shook his head. "I thought it would have been better not to say anything at the time."

"Aang was one of our closest friends or at least that's what we thought. So I guess she...we were afraid that if he was so against us being together maybe everyone else would-"

"The Avatar has his own feelings that he has to work through. It has nothing to do with you two," Hakoda interrupted. "What matters is you make each other happy. You make my daughter happy. That's what's important."

"Thank you, sir," said Zuko.

"Besides if you hurt my daughter, you'll have me to deal with," Hakoda warned.

"If I hurt your daughter, I don't think you'll get the chance. Katara can probably take me out herself."

Hakoda laughed so hard he almost fell backwards.

"She does have her mother's temper."

"Yeah," Zuko agreed. "She's pretty amazing."

The two men sat in the cave watching the arctic caribou slowly return from the horizon.

"We should probably take something back," said Hakoda.

"Thank you for talking with me, sir," said Zuko.

"Don't worry about it, son. You've done more than enough right by me. Sokka, on the other hand, good luck."

--

Katara paced back and forth.

"They should have been back by now. I should go look for them."

"Relax," said Sokka. "See?"

Sokka pointed out to two small figures in the distance. It was Hakoda and Zuko, dragging a caribou behind them.

"Wow, I can't believe they actually did it," Sokka said. "I thought dad was gonna catch Zuko with his pants down or something. Ew, now there's a sight."

"I've already seen Zuko with his pants down," Katara smirked.

Sokka blinked.

"Wh-what?"

[porphyriosao3]

Dinner Party

(A gift for @tamloid, to accompany my short story Arrival, and set in the same ‘verse)  :D

Legolas and Gimli sat at a table which seemed spun of starlight, clear crystal winking in the reflected light of both the actual stars and tiny points of light from gems holding trapped starlight.  Dinner in the House of Finarfin-in-Tirion was a formal affair this night, and everyone was in their finest robes of flowing samite, mostly white worked with gold thread.  Drifting hangings of diaphonous silk shifted and flowed with every waft of air or breeze, and the hall was open to the skies above.  The quiet murmur of conversation was a barely-heard susurrus in a hall that seemed frozen in time.

Legolas was clad in the same clothes as everyone else, loose hair bound back with a fillet of mithril Gimli had given him as an anniversary present once young Durin got the mines open again.  Gimli, for his part, was wearing the same formal clothes he had worn as Lord of Aglarond, heavy, rich fabrics worked with the angular knotwork of the Longbeards and a circlet of gold and garnets.  He stood out like a raven at a tea party.  The only saving grace Gimli could see was that they were seated next to Galadriel and Celeborn; he couldn't have imagined what he would have spoken about with any of the others.

"So," he said, wrapping up a story, "that's when this one here decided that he was offended at how this Varon of Umbar had spoken to me, and challenged him to a duel!  For my honor, mind you, in me own court!"  Galadriel giggled and even Celeborn chuckled, though the elves beside them looked vaguely horrified.  Laughing, he elbowed Legolas who was peering irritably into his empty wineglass.  A servant stepped forward to fill it immediately, and Gimli gave a tiny wince.

"It didn't happen that way at all," Legolas sighed through down-turned lips, cutting his eyes at his husband.  "You always make me sound ridiculous."  He went back to staring into the pale wine in his goblet.  Oh dear, Gimli thought.

"Now now, just silly stories, love.  Got to make conversation with something, aye?"  Gimli caught Galadriel's eye, knowing she was almost certainly in his head, and thought as hard as he could, no more wine for this one, if you please.  Her eyes sparkled as she gave a grin that belonged more on a mischievous urchin than the Lady of the Noldor, but he saw with relief that she leaned back to speak to the server.

"I don't like it," Legolas said a bit too loudly, causing his elven neighbor to glance over and quietly move a tiny bit away.  Gimli gritted his teeth at that, but let it go; Legolas was still speaking.  "He was rude, and he had been rude the whole time.  I thought it likely he was a Black Numenorean - I know the signs, you know, being as I'm old enough to remember the Last Alliance!  Probably was, too, if you'd just let me fight him we'd know."

"You'd have killed him, love, and we'd have been without a treaty," Gimli said softly, patting the long, pale hand beside him on the table with one of his ruddy, stocky ones.  "No need to drag all that out again, it's long gone and likely so's he.  Just a good story, that's all.  So, my Lady," he said, glancing over to where Galadriel and Celeborn were watching this with fascination, "how are you finding your, uh, new location here?  Trees growin' nicely, seemed like."  He ignored the irritable huff from his husband and hoped that the dinner was nearing its end.

"Yes, well seen," Galadriel said with that same mischievous smile, "and your husband's tutelage is showing once again, my Champion.  For a son of Durin to notice trees is a triumph indeed.  Have you been able to visit Fangorn much since we left? I know that was still your plan when we sailed."  Conversation flowed for a few minutes more, as Gimli described the wonders of Fangorn forest.

"... Those ents were terrifyin', I'll tell you that.  I can't feel the trees, o'course," Gimli said, "but even I could feel the age in the place!  It was like comin' into a deep cavern that hadn't been touched since Mahal made the world, that same sense that yours were the first eyes' t'see it."  He took Legolas' hand in his own.  "And then when we got to Aglarond, and my heart could see the caves, I like to think I returned the favor of showin' him somethin' not everyone had seen."  He leaned forward.  "There are crystals of pure clarity there the height of a tall man, Lady.  There are pools of water so clear that the bottom looks an inch below the surface, but that go down a fathom, and gems so clean and pure it might be a shrine to Mahal Himself! Aye, it..."  As he spoke, he noticed out of the corner of his eye Legolas motioning to the server for more wine.  Unfortunately, instead of filling the glass, the elf pretended not to see.

Legolas whirled on Gimli, interrupting him.  "Gimli son of Gloin, son of Groin, son of Farin, son of... son of... whoever!  What have you done!"  Galadriel's eyebrows were halfway up her forehead and Celeborn looked shocked, though the corners of his mouth were apparently fighting him.  Legolas drew himself up and glared, and for a moment it was as though Thranduil himself had appeared in the hall.

"Well, that's that," Gimli sighed heavily.  "Our apologies, Lady, Lord Celeborn, but 'twould seem we've had enough feasting for the night.  Once he gets like his father, no good can come of it.  Be well, and we will see you in the morn, I'm sure,"  Standing, he hoisted a loudly protesting Legolas over his shoulder like a child and stumped off, with the occasional shouted obscenity trailing behind them.  Behind them, the hall was deathly silent.  Galadriel's face was perfectly composed, though an occasional quiver in her shoulders indicated how hard she was fighting not to laugh.

Celeborn cleared his throat.  "Do you remember," he said in a casual voice, "when Melian made a pet of Oropher?  We all..." he stopped, smiling,  as Galadriel slapped his arm in a practically dwarven display.

"Celeborn," she snickered.  "You're horrible."  Leaning over, she touched his face.  "And that's precisely why we're married, my love."  A shriek came from the halls, followed by a wet sound and then silence.  "I think young Thranduilion just got flung into the pool."  Finally the two looked at each other and burst out laughing, ignoring the scandalized looks from the rest of the hall.  Eternity with Legolas and Gimli was going to be interesting indeed, she mused.  But definitely not boring.

[starsarefire824]

I know the Duffers handled Robin really well but I have been so burned by other shows and how they handle queer characters. I just. I don't want Byler to blow up like other shows have

Hey anon!

I mean...I definitely have my reservations about how Will and Mike's storyline will pan out throughout season five and the conclusion of the series. For sure I do. And I do wish that a lot of media would be braver in their choices for characters. I would like to see queer storylines in shows that don't center around the topic you know? Like Young Royals and Heartstopper are gorgeous pieces of media--Young Royals is one of my favorite shows of the last couple years, but I would like to start seeing more characters, not even characters, more MAIN characters that are in a story who just happen to be queer, and maybe less of the "media created specifically for queer audiences." Black Sails comes to mind for me as a show that executed that rather perfectly.

And don't misunderstand me, I am SO happy that there are so many more choices when it comes to lgbtq+ media that is made by and for queer people. That is such a fantastic thing that has blossomed a lot in the last few years. I am a younger to middle of the pack age range Millenial and damn if that wouldn't have been lovely for me to have during my pre-teen, coming of age. From my experience, and from a lot of people around me that are also queer, I think it was a much longer and confusing road for a lot of us to get to the point we are now, and I think that we all could have greatly benefited from that type of media. My personal journey was delayed in a lot of ways, and I know media is just one part of the problem, but it really does make me happy to see things like Heartstopper of Sex Education be so popular. 'Cause DAMN if I didn't need those shows when I was 14.

But my real point here is, that I hope the Duffer Brothers really utilize the very rare opportunity they have here. Stranger Things is a very vast, ensemble cast, supernatural family drama that I think has a lot of sociopolitical statements wrapped up into that. But in the end, it's an all-encompassing piece of media that is made up of many genres and has many, many different stories to tell. Will (and Byler) is just one component of that. And so I would LOVE it if they chose to go through with Byler in the end.

I totally agree with you on the Robin storyline. I think that the way they handled that storyline was perfection. It was done in a surprising way, it was done in a sensitive and empathetic way, and it was done in a way that after the reveal it challenged the audience and maybe made people rethink the way they sort of absorb and read media. It inverted tired tropes and it just felt very organic and real between Steve and Robin. It felt like an interaction that really happens to a lot of people. It also gave Steve as a character a lot of growth without having him wrapped up in another love story. I really, really can't tell you how much I love that plot line and how it all turned out in season 3. And even though Robin's romance couldn't be a main focus in season 4 because of what was happening in the overall plot, I thought that they gave it enough attention to make you feel for her and also to root for her and Vickie to be happy. And I mean, how cool is it that there is a CANON lesbian main character in a show that is a cultural phenomena? People of all walks of life, colors, religions, and ages watch this show. People who would never, ever turn on a queer piece of media watch this show. And maybe, just maybe, it might change someone's point of view or bias. Maybe it makes it easier for some thirteen year old somewhere to come to terms with themselves. That's important and it matters. It's reaching an audience that it might not have reached before.

And I one hundred percent think the Duffer Brothers know that. I truly think that it's all intentional on their part and the part of the other writers. They also have characters like Nancy, who goes against most female stereotypes and even plays against a lot of the standard tropes of female characters from the 80s. There's Lucas, who goes against a lot of stereotypes that black characters are pigeonholed into while not white-washing or erasing his blackness in any way. Steve is the jock asshole who went against every trope we thought we were going to get from him. They do a wonderful job of examining cycles of abuse while not necessarily flat out telling you, this is the villain of this story. They like to live in the gray areas and I really respect that. Billy for example, while a very controversial character, is given the same depth and nuance as the "heroes" of the story. Eleven herself, the main hero of our story, isn't good or bad, and her journey and choices are never black and white. Brenner, Hopper, hell, even Henry is highly relatable in a lot of ways. There are sooo many well-written characters, big and small, that are written with care and thought. And this is the reason people so staunchly defend and love and debate their favorite characters. Everyone can find something of themselves in multiple characters and it's why the audience is so attached to what happens to these pretend kids from pretend Hawkins.

And so, when it comes to Will and Mike, and how all of this will play out. I truly trust the Duffer Brother's to write Will's story line with grace and with a lot of care. It seems like they really enjoy writing for Noah Schnapp as an actor and from what I've gathered, they deeply care that his character is given the justice he deserves. So I am of the opinion that whether they write Byler or not, I will be satisfied with his characters final arc. He is my favorite character of the show and that really is what is most important to me when it comes down to it.

That being said, I think that the Duffer Brothers are going to surprise everyone, even us Bylers, with how they write Mike and Will in season five. As much as I like to take care with getting too excited, I'm at a point where I think that the writing, while very subtle, has been leading to no other end than Mike and Will together romantically. The fact that Will has not had a love interest and that there will be no new characters in season 5, the fact that his character has been queer-coded since day one, the fact that they've said season five will directly deal with his coming of age, the fact that Will and Mike have orbited each other since season 1, and literally the entire foreshadowing of season four for me...I just can't see it being written any other way than that.

I think that the Duffers have the talent in the writing room and the general sensitivity of making it no.1: easy to swallow by the GA and maybe even the reddit bros, no. 2: come to fruition in a way that is surprising, heartfelt, and gives you that aha moment of "oh, it really was there all along wasn't it?" I think that they have it in them to write a really beautiful ending for these two characters that would feel authentic and also....just natural. It will be one small but important part of a very complex story involving so many characters and if they do it right, it could be a really beautiful queer story wrapped up in something bigger than that--and maybe open up some people's eyes to how a little boy like Will's life and journey is just as worthy of their time to root for, that his story matters, and what happens to him is just as important as the standard heroes and heroines they are so used to rooting for. It might make people see that queer love can save the world the same as the prince's love for the princess can.

You can't get your hopes up too much, but boy if it doesn't make me smile thinking about the possibilities of that.

[unamused-kookaburra]

I was tagged by @killerspinal and @beholdingslut (thank you both!!! <3) and after thinking it over I've come up with this list of 8 shows to get to know me better (in no particular order)!

Pushing Daisies - this show has everything! Mystery! Love! Magic and whimsy! Like a warm hug but still has it's moments of tension that land really well. Just speaks to my soul

My Name is Earl - gave me my belief system and sense of humor as a child

The Good Place - I struggle to describe why I love this show so much, but it's whole message on the inherit goodness of humanity gets to me. The ending with what happens once they walk through the final door is just. wow.

Black Sails - I am gay. I like pirates. I like stories and themes. I like my media to hurt a bit.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - some things that Rebecca (and other characters) say or do, both good and bad, remind me of myself and without getting too heavy, the episodes in s3 where Rebecca is suicidal really helped me when I was going through it because it didn't shy away from how she was feeling, but it also showed her getting help which I really needed at the time so that has to have a spot here

Supernatural - LISTEN. You don't watch supernatural in your formative years and come out unscathed. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar

MASH - I remember being told about the episode with Hawkeye in therapy at the end of the show talking about the chicken on the bus years before I even thought of watching it and it still haunts me. The comedy is also god tier and the characters are great (Klinger and Father Mulcahy supremacy)

Fleabag - that meme where it's like 'starting fleabag: ha ha funny british lady. finishing fleabag: :'('. Also the 'I want someone to tell me what to wear in the morning' speech felt so exposing

tagging @beamkatanachronicles @torterragarden @nvmbench @eccedeus @goblins-and-gloves

[rinwellisathing]

Further untitled writings regarding Jaina Thalassia:

Jaina hummed to herself as she carefully drew the summoning circle in the dirt. It had taken conferring with Gale, Karlach, and Octavia, but she finally felt she had an idea of how this particular one should work.

Before the finishing touch, she reached into a small reagent pouch at her hip and drew a handful of seasalt, sprinkling it around the circle, singing quietly to herself. "His hair it hangs in ringlets, his eyes as black as coals, my happiness attend him until he sails home. From Rivington to Reithwin, I'll wander weep and moan all for my Jolly Sailor until he sails home..."

She hummed a bit more as she finished her circle and tossed a bloodied coin into the center, standing back with her arms folded across her chest, blue eyes cast toward the center.

"Really, Wyll, I would think that you....oh....you're not him. Interesting." Red eyes stared back at her as the taller woman sized the young tiefling up. "Mmm and I suppose you think you're clever using blessed salts, do you?"

"No, not really. I'm not as fond of patting myself on the back for cheap shots at easy targets as you seem to be." Jaina replied, examining her nails. "Actually I just wanted to talk."

"Then why the precautions, little girl?" Mizora smirked, matching Jaina's flippant stance.

"I wanted you to stay and listen, to believe me when I tell you that you're playing a losing game. I'm quite persistent, after all, and I made Wyll a promise." Her stare was intense, but there was a calculating coldness to it.

"Oh really? It will just crush his heart when you can't keep it. But then again, I suppose after his little altercation with his father, he's used to being betrayed by people he loves." The Cambion sighed, the very picture of bored and unimpressed.

"Good. Keep underestimating me. Father always said it's better that way." Jaina paced around the circle, tail raised and tip flicking as she did. Her expression never changing from that icy gaze. She needed to find her winning scenario, an upper hand. But none was forthcoming.

Mizora's mocking gaze didn't bother her, not really. Jaina was used to it from coworkers and the parents of her students alike. She was used to being underestimated. She only wished her brother was here with her, maybe Tibs' practical, strategic mind would see something she couldn't, but she had managed without her twin before and she could do it again.

Without an apparent weakness, she was aware she would need to wait until she had something Mizora wanted, or better something she needed. But that time would come, Jaina knew she could count on that, and when it did there were none better at bartering than Pirates and Jaina had learned at the feet of the best before she was old enough to walk.

"Well, this has been pleasant, but if I wanted to watch some plain girl posturing, I would simply visit any tavern in Baldur's Gate." Mizora feigned a yawn. "Sweep away that salt so I can return home."

Jaina smirked, wide enough for a quick gap toothed grin. "Sure, right away, ma'am. " and Mizora would find herself splashed with a wave of sea water just before she would be able to teleport home to Avernus. "Whoops... how clumsy of me, good thing hell fire is great for drying off...though I guess that would, in fairness, constitute a cheap shot at an easy target...oh well ."

"Hey soldier. What smells like wet cat?" Karlach yawned sleepily, wandering up beside Jaina and looking around.

"Something the owlbear cub dragged in. Don't worry about it." Jaina waved off the question. "Want to have a drink? Shadowheart made the mistake of showing me where her wine is.

"Alright, but if she catches us, I'm not taking the fall." The taller tiefling laughed.

"Oh, and you'd let tiny, innocent me take the blame?" Jaina stuck out her lower lip and gave Karlach a wide eyed look of betrayal.

"I've seen you pull that for a discount on enough merchants, Jaina, no way am I falling for it." She clapped the smaller woman on the back and chuckled good naturedly. "Nice try though. "

"Well, it was worth a shot." Jaina rolled her eyes and then motioned for Karlach to follow her. "Now how would you feel about helping me help Wyll and knowing that as a bonus we would be screwing Mizora over...."

[warishaaa]

Everything has always been like purple skies, old odes, healing ale, a refrigerator full of chocolates, cinnamon rolls, ginger biscuits, a pocket full of smiles, bedtime stories where the fairy removes all misery with a magic wand, flowery memory lanes, small parks, magical sunsets, high swing sets under grey clouds smelling of fresh tea and snacks, evenly spread butter sandwiches, photo albums smelling of tears and laughter, Hot soups and whimsical lines of your favorite artists, Sunday outings, strawberry ice creams after every dentist visit, wiping the extra food off my mouth, warming my hands before leaving for school, shopping for school uniform every year, and stories of my first word, first walk, first day at school, the first letter I wrote, how it wasn't an A but an O.

How life doesn't come a full circle because the list of firsts ends, at the first time getting touched on a bright sunny afternoon after school with my body going numb, the first pair of familiar eyes staring down at my breasts that hadn't even grown, the first time my heart breaks over a crispy smiled- gorgeous boy, the first time of feeling the world isn't a land of mystery solving which leads to another until you find the palace meant for you because you are born a princess, first time realizing you can't be a princess because your parents are not king and queen and all the dynasties have been turned to dust and that's fine because you don't need a palace, when you grow up home is all that you crave and the first time realizing Santa can not fulfill your wish of not being so scared, and lonely because he isn't fucking real.

Life has always been your way to you, You were trying so hard to stitch a perfect story for yourself, for us, that you made a new family in denial. You abandoned us trying to look after us. Maybe you were trying to escape this hideous hole that has been growing ever since you were a kid which has attached its part to me in your womb. You don't get it, we are born with a black hole on our chins that inertly spreads and that's okay, No amount of love-filled carcass of words can change its identity,and I would do fine without cotton candies disappearing as soon as it touches the inside of my mouth, I won't ask where they went anymore like I didn't ask where those people went from my past. Watching people disappear is the only magic we get in this lifetime.

You say girls like me are made of fire and grit, meant to conquer and sail through storms but Ma, girls like me fall apart at the first sound of hail and search for love like it's the most important document they lost beforean important day, You tell me I have steel for feet that can walk through an apocalypse after making sure I walked on silk carpet as a toddler, and I look down and find neither. "Girls like me don't waste time on boys, girls like me know how to talk, girls like come straight from god's favorite garden," But Ma, girls like me have cried an ocean over soft-spoken boys, girls like me have killed their voice, girls like me are born of war and blood.Girls like me don't aim for stars but starve for a hand to guide us out from the hollow consuming darkness of our minds, Girls like me don't sing because our throat is filled with this liquid that spits sorrow.

You hear birds chirping at dawn and know it's fajr how could you never hear my muffled squeak or you tried to hide it in with a pair of extra dangling earrings, the stones in it shining as bright as the venus in a clear sky? You congratulate my heartache and call my cowardice brave, that sometimes it's brave to be a coward if it saves me and I don't know what you mean by it but more than that you don't know what you mean. When I asked, you you said you don't understand heartbreaks but I have seen your heart ache for seven thousand two hundred fifty-six days of my existence. Your happy stories are saddest to me because in them I find a tiring effort of breathing a delusion. I carried my most painful collection of peoms like if it slips and finds you, you would be devastated but when i let it out you heard like a distracted twelve year old because you didn't want to lift it's weight. You want the pain to be over without the suffering.

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine trolling king becoming part of your relationship dynamic

King: *spots a boat show and thinks it'd impress you to buy one and have a nice night out on the sea with a dinner he picks up* come on (y/n)

You: boats?

King: just "roll with it" as you say

You: *cocks an eyebrow at him* alright, whatever you say dear

Half an hour later

King: *deciding between two ships*

You: *bored as hell so you decide to have some fun*

The next day

Sasaki: you and king returned pretty late last night, you missed karaoke night.

You: yeah, king took me to a boat show for some reason.

Kyoshiro: sounds boring

You: it was, so I started pronouncing yacht as yachet and I did it the whole night.

Sasaki: *laughing*

You: I was hoping someone, either king or the sales person, would correct me. Nope, no one did

Black Maria: you spent a whole night tormenting him, what naughty little thing you are.

You: I got to watch him die a little on the inside every time I said it. All in all it really was a delightful evening, King bought a boat and we sailed and had a very romantic candle lit dinner under a starry sky.

Sasaki: he got his dick sucked, didn't he?

You: yes he did, among other things

Maria: would explain his good mood this morning at the meeting.

Sasaki: *nods his head* he did seem like a load was taken off his shoulders

You: it was actually a fair few loads, but he did surprise me. I didn't know he could be so romantic. I look forward to seeing what else he has in store for me.

Two ish hours later

King: I don't know what I'm going to do with (y/n).

Kaido: *burps loudly* then kill them, works every time

King: no, not that. They mispronounced yacht the entire time we were out, and then soon as we got back home they said it right without being corrected. I can not tell if they're just stupid or what.

Maria: *trying not to laugh*

Queen: (y/n) is too good for someone boring like you, King.

King: still better than with dead weight like you

Jack: *clears his throat*

King and Queen: shut up stooge

Maria: *now audibly giggling*

Kaido: something funny Maria?

Maria: I spoke with (y/n) at lunch, they were saying yacht like that to annoy you.

King: ... The whole night

Maria: the whole night, but they also said it was a delightful evening

King: ... They did, did they?

Maria: (y/n) also said they look forward to what other surprises you have in store for them.

King: ... I see, so they will. *Is actually very happy you enjoyed yourself*

[holykillercake]

Coin Stealer

Trafalgar Law x psychic!Reader

word count: 3.3k

summary: Law does not believe that you can see dead people, so you crochet him the strange-looking beanie of the strange-looking man that walks around the Polar Tang. 

highlight: ¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

warning: You are entering Trafalgar´s room. 

notes: Bello, ma people! This is the 3/3 part of a lovely anon request in which the s/o makes them a thing with crochet! This time is Dr. Heart Stealer edition!! I really enjoyed writing this, and it got a little long, but I did not want to cut off important things. Anyway, I hope you like it!

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞!

¨Hey, Bepo! Have you seen Law?¨

¨Y/N! I don´t know where he is... I´m sorry.¨

¨Oh, it´s ok!¨ you patted the mink´s shoulder, giving him a warm smile. 

You were never a big fan of his constant apologetic personality, but you couldn´t deny that you missed it during your time apart from the crew. 

The Heart Pirates had parted ways a long time ago when your Captain decided that the time to put his life-long plan in action had finally come. The crew split into three parts, and each one followed a different path. 

After the sudden disappearance of the Strawhats, the Paramount War, the Rocky Port Incident, and Law obtaining his title as a Warlord of the Sea, you were the first to depart, remaining in Sabaody Archipelago, waiting for the owners of the Thousand Sunny to return. You fought alongside a fishman called Hacchin, a weird guy that reminded you of Black Leg and other allies to protect the ship. 

Next to leave was Law, who sailed to Punk Hazard, where he formed a partnership with a crazy scientist bastard. Then the rest of the crew went on their own towards the island where you would meet once the plan was concluded.

The trajectory was not smooth by any means, but you did it, all of you. And now you feasted along with the Strawhats, celebrating whatever it was that you did not understand. Maybe they were like that, or maybe they didn't understand the risks you would take from now on. 

Anyway, the crew seemed to be in need of some music and fun, and you were too busy looking for your Captain to care about that.

In the midst of the evening breeze, the crackling of the fire, and the barrels of beer crashing in celebration, you saw the answer you were looking for.

Of course.

¨If I didn´t love you...¨ you growled as you made your way out of the island to reach the Polar Tang. And let´s face it, that was a detour.

You went straight to your room, where Law would probably be sipping coffee, napping, or just running from the crowds. And just like you, it has been months since he stepped on his own ship and slept in his own bed. 

So maybe you could cut him some slack. 

However, as you approached the room, there was no smell of coffee. No smell of coffee and no light snoring. Just a stillness carried with heavy emotions and your boyfriend, sitting in the dim light holding tight the crochet piece you gave him years ago. You swayed in place, expecting that thing you made to provoke him to be at the sea bottom.

¨Wondering why I kept this?¨ he asked. 

¨Not really.¨ you replied. ¨But I am surprised. Am I disturbing?¨

¨You never do.¨

You jumped on the bed, sitting beside him and resting your head on his shoulder.

¨YN-ya... do you know how he...¨ the question struggled to come out.

¨Peaceful.¨ 

¨Hm.¨ he nodded.

¨I don´t like when he smiles, though. It creeps me out.¨ His body bounced slightly as he joined you in a chuckle. 

¨Remember when you gave me this?¨

¨Of course, you almost kicked me out of the ship!¨ you giggled with the memory.

¨You were really annoying back then.¨

¨Hey! Objection!¨

¨Objection rebuffed.¨ he smirked and moved on the bed, pulling you to lay down on his chest.

You told him to shut up before cuddling in, not falling asleep immediately. None of you said much. Instead, you enjoyed the calming and comfortable silence of each other´s company. 

It has been a while since you had that. 

You remember every moment of your early days as a Heart Pirate. You and Law hadn´t started on the best terms, but he needed you - well, your skills - and you were given a good deal. 

The pivot of your history together began on a chain of coincidences. The first one being both of you docking on the same island. The second one was him finding a rare coin for his collection, the same one you would later slip into your pocket. 

You wandered around towns using the beautiful art of distraction to get anything you wanted from anyone. Watches, necklaces, wallets, and, well, coins? It was all he had in his pocket, and since it was a cute one, you decided to keep it. 

Some called you a thief. Some called you a burglar, and some may even have called you a big son of a bitch. But the thing they all had in common was that none of them knew exactly who they were calling those names. 

The thing is, you messed up the first rule and made eye contact with him. Well, it was more of you not being able to take your eyes off of him. He stood out in the crowd, and you had gotten cocky. So when he later found out about the missing coin, it did not take him long to connect you to it. 

A lot of things went through his mind. He felt frustrated because his Haki failed him, annoyed for the trouble he would have going after you, and intrigued by the touch so light he did not feel at all. 

Or that is what he kept telling himself. 

Yes, he was interested in someone with skills like yours, but maybe there was something else he would not admit. The way you looked at him as if you had deciphered his entire life and found the missing pieces of his puzzle. Even the ones he tried to hide. 

That night he went out for your head. Or better, your heart, literally. 

You were enjoying the comfort of your hotel room, eating some snacks, and playing with your new commemorative coin when he materialized himself by the bed. You instantly knew something was about to go down.

Oh, fuck.

That situation got pretty tense pretty quickly, both ends asking things, and no one willing to offer any answers. The stakes were high, glares cutting the air like blades. It did not help to ease the mood when in the sway of his hand your heart popped out of your chest. 

Long story short, his plan was never to drag you to the Polar Tang. Law wanted you to go willingly, joining his crew in exchange for your heart. However, the unfortunate variable he did not consider in the equation was that you would not go down without a fight. So by the time he reached the ship, he noticed the gentle fresh breeze ruffling his hair. 

You know, since his hair was usually covered by the hat. 

...

THE FREAKING HAT!

The next morning when he returned, you were waiting for him with a satisfied smirk bending your lips, the hat on your head, and the coin dancing between your fingers. 

At some point, you had stolen it, and once again, it passed unnoticed by him. That was not a good night for the Heart Pirates. And that was also the night Trafalgar Law realized a couple of things. The first, he needed you on his crew. And the second, you were going to be the death of him. Or maybe the aneurysm of him, he would not give you such credit. 

¨You´re late.¨ you said, amused, and his grip tightened around the sword.

¨What´s your name?¨ he repeated the question you dodged several times during your last encounter. 

¨What´s with the dog?¨ you pointed at the tall, white polar bear wearing a uniform. Law pursued his lips, breathing heavily through the nose.  

¨I am B-¨

¨Bepo-ya don´t talk to he-¨

¨Your name is Bepoya?¨ you ignored the man, bumping into his shoulder as you walked towards the mink ¨Hi, I´m Y/N! Nice meeting you.¨  

The polar bear looked back and forth at you and his Captain, not knowing how to behave in this situation, so he apologized and stepped farther back. 

¨Alrighty, now that we are all introduced, shall we go?¨ 

¨What?¨

¨Come on, Law, focus.¨ you snapped your fingers multiple times, teasing him. ¨You came here to pick me up, right?¨

¨No. I want my hat back.¨ He tried to grab it, but you ducked in time, holding the hat on your head with both hands. It was so soft. 

¨How about a trade? The coin for the hat.¨

¨How about my hat for your heart? Do this, and I won´t...¨ his words died in his mouth as he clutched his pockets. 

¨Looking for this?¨ You held your heart, wrapped in a cold and gelatinous box that you retrieved when you bumped into him minutes earlier.

How could you fool him again? He kept seeking answers that explained why it was so easy for you to outwit him, and his expression showed. 

¨You´re getting close, Law. Put your little trash can to work.¨ you tapped your temple, smiling mischievously at him. 

¨YN-ya, you know I can kill you, right?¨

¨Yeah, but you won´t.¨

¨How do you know?¨

¨I got a sixth sense for these things.¨ 

The rest of the conversation did not take long to come to an end. Amid sarcastic comments and threats to each other's lives, what should have been the pinnacle of the moment became a random passage in the Heart Pirates´ logbook.

¨So, YN-ya, do you want to join us? You´re gonna have to wear a uniform and address me as Captain.¨

¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

Law sighed, giving himself a carotid massage ¨Ok. Let´s go.¨

He walked a few steps ahead of you and Bepo, wondering why he spent so much effort on an arrogant thief that wouldn't even call him Captain.

You quickly became friends with the polar bear, even apologizing for calling him a dog. He strangely apologized for your apologies, culminating in what would almost make the notorious Surgeon of Death suffer a stroke.

¨What the hell is that?!¨ you shouted when the Polar Tang entered your field of vision ¨That´s not a ship!¨

What if I am claustrophobic?

The ya thing is a schtick?

Death? That´s a little borderline controversial for a doctor.

Trafalgar more like Trafraude!

On occasions like that, Law wondered how peaceful and quiet would be the sixth level of Impel Down. From a current perspective, your initial interaction served as a vaccine, creating the necessary antibodies Law would need to deal with future pirate alliances. 

The crew got attached to you very quickly. Your adventurous spirit, your stunts, and street trades fascinated them. Losing bets against you seemed acceptable, your card tricks and the thing of guessing the numbers they thought was like fuel for a good day at work.

Law didn't seem to mind that much. After all, you wouldn't get him on his nerves if you were busy with them. However, one day, you let slip something that caught his attention. 

¨YEAH! That´s exactly what she looked like! How did you do this?!¨ 

Law heard Shachi´s roar, followed by a wave of surprised ´ooh´s coming from the kitchen, where the majority of the crew hunched around the dinner table. 

The doctor leaned against the door, silently observing what could possibly be more important than keeping the ship working. He had been drowning in files all night, and now he decided to have a coffee break. That mess early in the morning did not make him happy. 

No one seemed to be too intimidated when he cleared his throat, announcing his presence. Everyone greeted him with smiling 'good mornings' and turned their attention back to you.

 ¨What is going on here?¨

¨Captain did you know Y/N can see dead people?!¨ 

The coffee left a bitter aftertaste on his mouth.

¨What?¨

¨Yeah, Captain!¨ Shachi yelled on Law´s face, earning a death glare ¨She just described my mom!¨

¨Really, Y/N-ya? Now you´re a magician and a psychic?¨ he asked, taking the seat across from you. 

¨The perks of being me.¨ you shrugged. 

¨Do you see more dead people here?¨ 

Yes

¨No. But you sound a little skeptical, Law.¨ 

It was way too early for that discussion, but your biological clock didn't seem to care. Whenever Law came with his teasing, you would be ready to strike back.

He gave everyone a lecture about empathic accuracy and how good you were reading cues communicated by words, emotions, and body language. Or some crap like that. 

¨Ok, let me see if I got this right.¨ You shifted in the chair, hands moving in the air ¨You can pull organs out of people´s bodies, cut them in pieces without killing, switch their souls, but you do not believe that I can see dead people?¨

He tilted his head, but not giving you an exact answer.  

¨Do you wanna know what I think?¨

¨No.¨

¨I´ll tell you anyway. I think you have something you don´t want people to know, like a soft spot or a tragic past.¨ you sought the answer in his eyes ¨I´m guessing a loved one who died?¨ 

Overall, he was not wrong. You were a master in reading people´s body language, but you were not a jackass. So when the slight twitch of his mouth cleared up your doubts, it was time to stop. 

You knew how it felt, soft spots, tragic pasts, or late loved ones. There was no need to go further and throw more salt on his wounds. Hopefully, that taught him a lesson. 

An awkward silence ensued while everyone watched the scene, uncertain how to act, fearful that an extra spark would make everything explode into massive destruction.

¨Whatever.¨ he sighed ¨Show´s over. We´ll be reaching land in a few days, and we should be preparing to dock.¨ 

When everyone left the kitchen to go about their businesses, you remained alone with the figure that constantly wandered the submarine. He didn't do it in a creepy way. Despite his extravagant makeup and the intimidating aura, he was not a bother.

And it wasn't like he was there all the time, definitely more than anyone else. His passages were guaranteed on the days when Law was more sensitive. For bad or for good. He would look after him from the distance like a parenting figure. 

¨Who are you?¨ you murmured under your breath. 

For the next few days, Law made sure you were too busy to foster discussions about dead people or paranormal abilities.

When your services stealing rare supplies or getting answers to your Captain's questions you weren't required, you would help him with mountains of paperwork.

Only this time, he had outdone himself.

He managed to assemble the annual check-up of the crew, the inventory packing list, and the update of the logbook at once. This last one could easily wait until after you docked. But that freaking workaholic sadistic surgeon would not let this opportunity slip. So you pulled several all-nighters writing, signing, and stamping, all without exchanging a single word.

When you emerged, a few miles from land, you barely enjoyed the fresh breeze and sunlight. The crew hopped around, getting ready to put their feet on the continent as you sat in the kitchen profusely grouchy.

Your brain was fried, burnt, carbonized. 

¨You´re not coming?¨ Penguin asked, and you shook your head. ¨It´s been a while, Y/N, you should come.¨ you shook your head again. ¨I guess you´re not buying anything for the Captain´s birthday as well.¨

An incohesive question came out of your exhausted being. Penguin couldn´t help but feel sorry for you. ¨By the time his birthday comes up, we will be underwater, so everyone is preparing.¨ 

¨Do I have to?¨

¨No!¨ he chuckled ¨He doesn´t really like it, but we still buy him something.¨

¨Why?¨

¨´Cause he is a good Captain!¨ he said and sprunt out by the voice of someone calling him, waving goodbye at you. 

 It wasn't that you didn´t think Law was a good Captain. It was just an inherent nature of yours to clash every time you looked at each other. 

But on such occasion, you could combine the useful with the pleasant. After all, you were grateful because he gave you friends. Of course, he was the unfortunate by-product that came with them, but you could handle him. 

So fighting against your will to stay and sleep, you forced your way out to the solid ground, hoping to find the most random store someone could wish for, a haberdasher. 

Much to your delight, you did it. You picked a burgundy color wool and the first hook you put your eyes on and returned to your soft bed. 

The chances of you having scared your crewmates by staring at the blank for hours were high. In reality, you wanted to memorize and come up with a pattern for the strange-looking beanie that man wore. 

It had no pompom at the top like Penguin´s. Instead, two long pieces of fabric ran down from each side with heart-like things hanging.

When the sixth day of the tenth month arrived, Law´s desk was cluttered with presents. You had decided to wait until you were done with work and heading to bed to give it to him. 

After conquering that task, you locked yourself in your room, where you stayed until you had it finished. For some reason, you bothered to buy a box to put it in. Whatever.  

On the sixth day of the tenth month, Trafalgar Law could not focus on work. Every slight movement of yours, every bathroom break got him jittery, rehearsing words that wouldn´t make you hate him more. 

Not that you ever hated him, but you didn´t talk, so he didn´t know. After some time starting small talks and being ignored, you just gave up trying. 

By the end of that night, he had given up too. So when you placed the golden-yellow box on his desk, he couldn´t vocalize his feelings. It became just another silent night. 

Chests tight and hearts clogged with unspoken words. 

Law did not work for the next couple of days, and if he left his room, no one saw. The gifts on his desk were not even opened. Everything was left the way it was. 

Maybe you had crossed a line. 

As you marched up to the room at the end of the hall, several paths popped into your mind. You could act like you didn´t care, so what if you left? You had been alone for so long, it wouldn't make any difference! Still, something was begging you to apologize. To ask to stay, because being there was good, everything you never knew you wanted.

You were ready to pack your bags and have your title as a Heart Pirate retracted when you woke up one morning, finding a note on your desk telling you to meet him in his room. Your nails dug into your sweaty palms. Where did this tightness in your chest come from?

When you set foot in the room, your eyes hovered around. It was the first time you saw Law's room. It was exactly how you thought it would be.

Keeping your gaze locked on his was more difficult. He was sitting in an armchair near the foot of the bed. From afar, his appearance remained neat, as always, but as you approached you saw the circles under his eyes even darker. A thing you didn't think was possible.

For the first time, you didn't know how to read his expression. And seeing him vulnerable like that made your stomach drop. So you prepared yourself for the worst. However, to your surprise, all he did was ask you questions. 

No snarky remarks. You just talked.    

That day something changed. And from that day on, Law had found someone to help him carry the unbearable weight he had on his shoulders, and you found a place to call home. 

                                                             ...

¨Y/N-ya.¨ he called you, who was a cuddle away from sleeping.

¨Hm?¨

¨Before you left, in Sabaody...¨

¨Uhm.¨

¨You stole the coin again, didn´t you?¨ 

You giggled and pulled the commemorative coin from your back pocket, snuggling closer to his body and feeling the vibration of his chest as he chuckled.

Extra notes: I hope you had enjoyed it! It came out a little too long, but I have been feeling like I´m limiting myself when it comes to the number of words... I don´t know, I´m confused. 

Anyway, is that pink and red that I see on the horizon?

[liodain]

Listen, I feel like turnabout is fair play and I’m insatiably curious, so: What are YOUR top five songs from the F&F Extended Music Verse and why? 🖤

THIS IS HARD, I'M SORRY FOR DOING THIS TO YOU. REVENGE WAS WARRANTED 💙 I'm gonna have to make an elimination table for the two remaining spots, but here's three for now 😂  under the cut for length and F&F spoilers.

Woke Up a Rebel - Reuben and the Dark

This is my Hugo song!! You wanna talk about on the nose lyrics? Watch this.

I love how the chorus maps to the major periods of Hugo's life: I died like a saint - his induction into the fold as a kid, being fed brine that could've killed him: his martyr theme; was reborn a devil - those decadent, bloodsoaked pirate days, also foreshadowing his discovery of Vidakai and being 'reborn' from Furysworn to Forsworn; slept like a slave - keeping his head down in the navy for six long years while he plots; and woke up a rebel - finally setting all his plans in motion and shaking up the status quo of both navy and fold

The verses though???

The blood will not dry / and time will not heal / I want to be free / but the blood will not dry [...] they made me a shadow / and blackened my bones / but I will rise - His desperation to be free of the Fury's slaughter (and then the navy's), his subsequent abandoning the fold (and mutinying his way out of the navy), his determination to live his life the way he wants, to rise above both the massive influence Fury and fold had on him and the punishment that was levied on him in his time as a privateer

I am wild, I am lost / I am sick, I am damned / but I am holding redemption in the palm of my hand -  I MEAN. One of the many things I love about Hugo is how he's reserved and so controlled, but has an intense savagery that he embraces as well. His redemption didn't lie in him becoming a kinder, more gentle or "good" person, but in his freeing Xeheia of corruption, which had him making a lot of brutal end-justifies-the-means decisions (even if he didn't follow through on all of them)

So I tighten my fist / and sharpen my teeth / it's a promise I made / it's a secret I keep - Please insert a montage here of every time Hugo has just straight up bitten someone, lmfao. More seriously, this could be the Gaze's complement of sharp teeth and Vidakai's magic feeding on secrets. The promise to Gab that he'd see things through with him... and that one secret he has no choice in keeping. In so many words, anyway.

I am looking for trouble / and trouble I will find / you will get what is coming / I'll take back what is mine - First of all: 🥴 Secondly, 'I'll take back what is mine' sure took on a WHOLE new dimension recently re: Izod and the fate of Hugo's flayed mark. YIKES

Anyway, this track had to go toe-to-toe with MUTINY; it was a messy affair but it eventually came out on top :’)

Eastern Wind -  Arbi ft. Koethe 

Without You, Love Is a Sacrifice and BLACK SEA had to throw down for this spot, but this one won out for its impeccable shanty vibes (and because it has a pretty much permanent spot on my most played list 😂) It's a sailing off into the sunset song, full of triumph and renewed hope and a vast sense of freedom, a big deep breath after surviving something terrifyingly apocalyptic that at times felt impossible to overcome. Back from the brink of the deep down

Take care and please heed caution / keep one eye open - I'm anticipating the epilogue to see exactly how they're gonna end up, but for quite a while I have been thinking a lot about them being friendly rival pirate captains with their own ships, spending time with each other when they cross paths on the ocean or roll up at the same port (or leaving letters if they miss one another). They have each other's backs and keep each other informed of navy (and other...) activities, and tell each other to be careful when its time to part again, even if it may not be expressed as plainly as that. 

Somewhere we can thrive again and never be lost and never be found / so far from the rule of the coffer and the crown - Thriving! Gab settling the new fold at the Storm's Eye and Hugo finding a place at the Trinoran Enclave, free to ply the seas as they please, no longer bound by the coffer and crown of the Fury's salt price or Imperial navy orders. But also, 'never be lost and never be found' could be read as them being alert and aware to any corruption that may rear its head (staring real loudly at Izod rn), and refusing to be prey to it again.

Black Sea - Natasha Blume 

(Yes I DO think it's funny to find songs with the same name that also fit) Oh, heady pirate days!! This has such a dreamy but sinister vibe to me, and I love it because it makes me think of Gab enticing Hugo into loosening up and cliff diving with him, night swimming, sharing breath, plunging so deep into Xeheia's realm together that it's dark as pitch: come down to the Black Sea / swimming with me / go down with me, fall with me / let's make worth it. It’s a simple request compared to the rest of the lyrics, which are laden with challenge and questions.

You rise, I fall / I stand, you crawl / you twist, I turn / who's the first to burn? / you sit and stay / I don't obey - They have complicated, shifting power dynamics between them at this point in their lives: Gab immensely powerful in his connection to Xeheia and primed to become Patriarch, but so green still; Hugo older by almost a decade, more experienced, his superior as Furysworn and as his captain. Gab habitually insubordinate and headstrong, Hugo taking satisfaction in asserting his authority over him, and both of them intensely into this game. 

And when events of F&F kick off that push and pull is still present, though by then it's less a game and more like deliberate sabotage, driven by bitterness and hurt as they fail to listen to one another and struggle to realign their purposes: You're giving up, I'm tired / the tug of war that we're playing (we're playing) / I'm not giving up, I’m trying / to tell you

Love, war, pain, life / everything's the same to me - No thoughts just gently pained sounds 😂

[namjooningelsewhere]

British Jealousy.

Pairing : Kim Seokjin x reader

Rating : 18+

Genre : Lots of smut and little bit of angst and a lot of jealousy.

Warnings : A lot of jealousy, Unprotected sex, Smut

Word Count : 1776

Summary : You were fed up when Jin started almost avoiding you for a collab star of his and making you feel invisible when you were in a room with her. Sine you were secretly dating there was nothing much apart from giving him a taste of his own medicine. And exactly that happens when your equally handsome and sexy British Singer friend Stan arrives.

You were at the designers for the trial of the outfit for tonight's awards show, where you had a plan to be together with your boyfriend Kim Seokjin. But he was right here besides you but with someone else. It was the singer form his latest single Collab and somehow they had become inseparable since then.

It wasn't that you were jealous but somehow he had made it a point to rub it in your face that ongoing banter that he had with Lizelle. He did it on purpose or it was unintentional it was yet unknown to you.

You were losing your mind when they had started giggling giving random hugs to each other making it difficult for the poor designers to work it out. You glared at him but he didn't seem to take notice. You went to the trial room to try and he followed behind with his outfit.

"Having fun there, are we?" you said. Sensing the danger from your tone he meekly replied "Oh she's lovely i know but trust me its just a mindless bantering lee, I swear there's nothing more than that." "Okay" I said looking at him cautiously. It had been bothering you somehow that he had been acting all hung up on her, canceling on plans at the last minute and staying over late, Always having her besides him giggling, throwing hugs, telling her those dad jokes while fell at his chest laughing was something ypu just couldn't get over.

He pushed it under the rug saying we are just friends every time you bought it up had you driving you up the wall. It was not that he was cheating but pretending you didn't exist and bailing out on plans because she was there had you at the edge. You wanted to make your presence known, Let him know if he was going to act this way rather do it without you in his life. Would make it much easier with less thing to worry about.

"Lee, My woman you gorgeous little girl." You heard a booming voice across the hall, You forgot about your worries in a second seeing your very good old friend Stan standing right before you with open arms. You ran to him like a little girl and he swept you right of your feet enveloping you in a bear hug. "Stan My Man!!!!" I've missed you babe. You said still hugging him sideways.

Stan was your very good friend and he was a singer too and man that guy had looks that could get you drooling and worshipping the ground he walked. Lets say he was a perfect competitor for Mr. World Wide handsome. But you never saw him besides a friend and you shared a very healthy relationship with him.

You glanced at the mirror seeing a shocked Jin and Lizelle watching from their places. His expression had turned black since you wouldn't introduce him to Jin as you were secretly dating. "What are you doing here?" You asked still gleeful. "Oh i am attending the awards show tonight babe, You are right? " he enquired. "Of course i am sweetheart that's why i am here to get my fittings done, You say nudging him playfully.

He goes through the trials while you keep giving him compliments here and there. Strangely it was exact the opposite now, It was like Jin didn't exist in that room. It was lunchtime already and you were just looking for your phone to text Jin maybe you could introduce both of them, But you soon frowned when you saw the message that was already sitting in your inbox two hours ago.

"Babe, Guys are going out for lunch and have to take Lizelle with me. Make it up to you. xoxoxo"

Okay now this was the limit another cancellation, You didn't mind them as you were an idol too and sometimes it would become quite necessary but doing it every bloody time was unacceptable. You literally felt sorry for Jin as something cooked in your mind. You were going to get him good for this time. But you needed Stan's help with that.

"Babe I'm hungry, Lets go eat and I'm starving and besides we have a long lunch date pending. I am taking you for it, NOW" He said literally pulling you away from the room leaving almost ready to burst Jin. You felt bad but at least this was the way you had been feeling when he had been cancelling on you and going out with Lizelle for gods sake.

You sat opposite Stan in the restaurant chatting away, until he mentioned Jin. "So since when?" He asked. "Since when what?" You asked kind of ignoring his question. "Seokjin babe, That man would have killed me right there if looks could kill." He giggled but for sure looking for answers. "Been 2 Years but hes bit on a lets make her jealous spree" You replied curtly. "Oh lee, You're adorable when you're jealous". He said playfully pinching your cheeks" earning a playful scowl from you. "Well in that case Lets play along shall we?"

He was your wingman bestfriend confidante for a reason, He understood you very well. But tonight was going to be epic since your boyfriend who you loved to bits was going to get a taste of his own medicine.

Everybody was in a rush since it was the dday at the awards and your team was putting in together their best to move and work efficiently while the event. It was just some time left for you to start getting ready for the event before you decided to check up on Stan.

You were casually walking down the hall when you noticed Jin and the others sitting with Lizelle spread out on the couch. When Jimin called out to you, You just went to them to exchange pleasantries since you were on full fledge mission to avoid Jin for the rest of the evening.

"Where have you been Lee?" Jimin asked casually. "Oh right here just have a friend here from London so keeping him company" You reply eyes still looking for Stan. "Hey Sugar, Looking for me?'' Stan came right behind before he playfully pinched your cheeks. "Where have you been?" You ask. "Oh just making sure i had some one with me to accompany for the awards tonight you know, Might get lonely right there." He said looking at you fondly. You sweared you had heard something cough real awkward.

Since they knew each other, you didn't need to introduce each other. "So Stanie, Whos the lucky accomplice you're taking with you." Jungkook teased him. "Oh right here my gorgeous friend, Why would i look somewhere else when I have her right here?'' His response earned a hoot from everyone except Jin who looked like he was about to explode again.

You got ready for the event and you made sure you made no contact with Jin whatsoever for the rest of the evening. You reached the event along with Stan and were greeted by the media and he hosts. The event had been sailing smoothly until you went behind the stage to wish Stanie good luck for his performance.

You were yet to find his makeup room and walked close by to find it until you were pulled in one. "You were about to scream but a familiar hand held your mouth and you knew in a instant it was Jin. "What the hell?" you protested. "Really you're asking me what the hell? Am i invisible lee?" He asked anger fuming through him. You pretended as if you had no clue about what he was talking and that drove him even mad.

He pinned you to the wall and started to kiss you furiously, as if you were going to vanish right next minute and he needed to devour you asap. He nibbled your neck, marking purpled bruises quite clear. "Jin What the hell? these are visible." you retort. "I've left them there for a reason lee and don't you dare hide them, Let them be a warning YOURE TAKEN!!!! Nobody eyes my woman, He says kissing you hungrily while he kneaded your tits at the same time.

He turned your back against him and shifted your dress carefully before plunging himself right into you, Without a warning. You were already wet from the way he had kissed you. "Look at that, So wet. You are so wet for me baby, All you want is me to fuck you right ?' He hissed in your ears pounding from behind. This dirty talk was getting the better of you as you enjoyed the delicious pleasure go wild in your body before he increased his thrust right reaching your gspot. He was close and so were you. And this wasn't your adorable Jin making love to you, But this was the Jealous Jin fucking you who wanted to remind you, You were his and only his and boy you loved that.

He stared rubbing your clit roughly while he mercilessly drilled your pussy from behind and both of you came at the same time. He held you tightly to him before he started adjusting your dress for you. He looked up with a evil grin " Let my cum be where I've left it princess, and I'm going to make sure you scream my name for the entire building to hear, Looks like i have to remind you very properly today- Your mine Lee, Only Mine."

You didn't stop smiling for the rest of the evening as your plan worked but being more happy for the fact that he cared, He cared that you would be his no matter what." It was a relief watching him keep some distance between him and Lizelle. He had got the message alright.

You had a shit eating grin on your face, A Jealous Jin was a such a treat sometimes, Maybe you could try some Russian Jealousy next time:)

[doc-pickles]

anywhere i want (just not home)

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

For the love of my life, the inspiration behind TS week, the wind in my sails… Happy later birthday @odd-birds-and-booksellers I hope you enjoy this

Always, Your Computer Wife,

Nina

+

We gather here, we line up

Weepin' in a sunlit room, and

If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

The pain in her cheek is still stinging as she struggles to open her eyes. There’s the faintest hint of sunlight filtering through the large window of her bedroom, a new day just beginning only hours after she’d finally been left alone long enough to find some peace.

The bed next to her is cold and empty, Paul having left for work while she was still crying and groaning in pain. He hadn’t spared her a second glance as he’d gotten dressed for the day, stepping over the puddle of blood that had collected on the floor where she’d laid for hours as he kicked her mercilessly, hurling harsh blows and leering insults as she’d tried to protect herself.

She pulls herself up and drags her barely conscious body to the shower, rinsing off the dried blood and sweat as she tends to the wounds she can see. She already knows she has at least one bruised rib and a sprained ankle, but she can’t do much about it now. For now all she can do is rinse off, lay in bed and hope that tonight doesn’t bring more of the same.

+

Jo bolts upright in bed, hand pressed to her chest as she attempts to slow her breathing down. The dream echoes in the back of her head, the painful memories replaying themselves in vivid technicolor right before her eyes.

She knows why they’re haunting her again, knows that he’s looking for her right now and that he won’t stop until he’s found her. Paul has made that much clear with his texts and letters, little signs to make it clear that they’re not done yet.

A hand closes over hers and she almost jumps before she remembers where she is. Jo squeezes Alex’s hand back, letting him pull her back down and into his embrace. As soon as his arms circle around her she can feel her body begin to calm down.

“It’s not even 2 AM, try and get some sleep, you need it,” Alex’s voice in her ears convinces her to close her eyes, even if sleep is far off the feeling of him so close helps to relax her. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you

'Til my dying day

It’s later that same day when Jo receives another text, the ping stopping her during rounds and prompting her to make a flimsy excuse to Meredith as she rushes to the nearest bathroom.

Can’t wait to see you soon, both of you.

The text lingers in her mind as her breakfast reappears, tears flowing as she tries to drown out the overwhelming noise in her mind. Paul didn’t make empty threats, that’s one thing she knew for sure. The texts she was receiving were just the tip of the iceberg for whatever he had in store for her.

“Jo? You in here?”

She can barely respond to Alex in between crying and being sick, her body overwhelmed as she tries to keep herself calm. Jo can hear Alex saying something incomprehensible as she begins to hyperventilate, his voice growing further away as her breathing became more ragged.

The last thing Jo registers before everything goes black is Alex holding her against his chest, his fingers threading through her hair in an attempt to calm her as his heartbeat echoed unsteadily in her ears.

When she comes back around Jo’s not shocked to find herself laying in a hospital bed, an IV and monitoring wires hooked up to her pale skin. Before she has a chance to overthink anything though Alex is in front of her, his hands running down her cheeks and wiping away the tears she hadn’t realized had collected there.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you,” Alex’s voice is soft as she meets his eyes, his gaze causing her to melt into another round of tears. “Oh Jo, it’s okay.”

“It’s not! He’s going to kill me, he already knows where I am and this time he’s going to make sure I don’t survive,” Jo chokes the words out, her fingers ghosting over her protruding stomach. “Alex, he's not going to leave me alone until both of us are dead. I can’t put our baby at risk like that.”

The thought almost makes her sick again, her daughter kicking against her hand as she draws in a deep breath. Of all the wild and unexpected things her and Alex had been through, their daughter was by far her favorite. Even with a few weeks left until she arrived Jo already felt a fierce instinct to protect the little girl growing in her womb.

“I’m not going to let him get anywhere near the two of you, I promise,” Alex brushes back a few strands of hair lingering on her forehead, pressing a kiss to the cool skin as he settles into the bed next to her. “You’re safe with me Jo, both of you are.”

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

Jo wants to believe Alex, she really does. Since her breakdown over Paul’s threats he had been by her side whenever he could. His presence was comforting but it did little to calm the raging mental battle she was fighting inside her head.

Now though, as she stares down at her daughter sleeping peacefully in her arms, she knows that she made the right decision. She just hopes Alex agrees with her.

“She's perfect, you did so good,” Alex had repeated the words over and over since Isla had made her appearance almost six hours ago, but they still prompt a smile on Jo’s face. “I love you two so much.”

“I love you, we both do,” Jo leans up and captures his lips with her own, lingering a little longer than she normally would as Alex’s fingers trace her cheek delicately. “Would you do me a big favor? I left my robe at home and it’s freezing in here. Could you go home real quick and grab it?”

Alex nods, a grin on his face as he stands from the chair at her bedside and gathers his keys and wallet. Jo watches him intently, memorizing every movement and expression that makes him exactly the man she fell in love with. He leans down to press one more kiss to her forehead then Isla’s before promising to be back soon.

As the door to her hospital room shuts, Jo looks down at her daughter, tears splashing onto the newborn's cheeks as her mother watches her, “Your daddy loves you very much, don’t you ever forget that.”

And you're the hero flying around, saving face

“Alex, are you coming to work today? It’s been a week,” Meredith’s voice rings out from the doorway of the loft, but Alex can’t bring himself to answer her. She’d been by everyday since he’d come home, her voice prodding at him the only sound in the loft.

He’d gone home to get Jo’s robe like she’d asked, finally finding it tucked away at the very back of the closet instead of hanging in the bathroom like it usually was. On his way back to her room, he’d stopped in the hospital gift shop and grabbed the fluffiest pink and white teddy bear sitting in the window. He had told the cashier that his daughter had just been born and showed off the photo of Jo and Isla that was already his phone lock screen.

And then he’d gone upstairs, the missing robe and teddy bear tumbling from his hands as he found an empty bed and bassinet, Jo and Isla’s bags gone from the room that they’d occupied not even an hour before when he’d left. He’d asked every nurse and doctor on shift but no one had an answer for him. When he finally made it back to the room, he saw the note hastily scribbled across a spare piece of paper, his knees giving way as he read the words printed in Jo’s recognizable script.

I couldn’t let him find us, I’m so sorry. Please don’t worry, we’re safe.

Love you always.

J & I

He’d sat on the floor of the hospital room until Meredith had come to collect him at the bidding of the nurses on the floor. She’d given him a sympathetic look and held him as he cried, only letting his guard down for his closest friend.

The reality hadn’t truly sunk in until he came home later that night to an empty loft filled with baby gear and the scent of Jo lingering on every surface. He’d screamed then, throwing pillows and couch cushions and anything he could find in an attempt to get some of his emotions out in the open.

It hadn’t helped though, the sadness he’d felt morphing into feelings of anger and helplessness. Alex knew that Jo was acting out of desperation, doing what she truly thought was right, and he couldn’t be mad at her for that. No, his anger was directed at the man that had pushed her to that point, had scared her and haunted her every move so horribly that she’d fled Seattle with their newborn daughter in tow.

As he ignores Meredith for yet another day, Alex let his mind wander to Jo and Isla for a moment. He knows Jo would never run with their daughter if she didn’t have a plan to keep her safe, but just the knowledge that they were out there without him broke his heart.

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

His fingers press down the collar of the light blue button up once more before sliding the black suit jacket over it. He examines himself in the mirror of the hotel room one last time before turning to leave. He’d only been to Seattle once before for a medical conference, but this trip held a much more important air to it.

Brooke, his Brooke, was close. Closer than she’d ever been before and he couldn’t wait to see her again. He was delighted when he’d found her again, even more so when he found out that she was a doctor giving him the perfect opportunity to drop in on her. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when he saw her.

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

When Alex finally makes it back to work he’s met with an abundance of pitying looks and unhelpful comments. He knows most of his coworkers have good intentions but he’s in the verge of screaming at the next person who interacts with him. All he wants to do is work and try and forget that his daughter and the love of his life aren’t waiting for him at home like they should be.

“Alex! I have someone I want you to meet,” Arizona’s bubbly voice almost makes Alex roll his eyes, the blonde not doing much to improve his demeanor since he was in no mood to meet anyone new. “This is Doctor Paul Stadler, he’s an expert on laparoscopic surgery techniques which is always helpful when we have tiny humans to save.”

Alex can feel his blood run cold as he turns towards Arizona and the man standing next to her. Whatever picture he had painted in his head fades as he stares at the man in front of him. Despite his bright grin Alex knows exactly what Paul is capable of, what he had done and threatened to do to Jo.

“While I’d love to meet your whole team Doctor Robbins, I’m not here on business today. I’m looking for Doctor Wilson actually.”

“Oh,” Arizona’s face falls, gaze turning to Alex as his jaw tightens. “Actually she’s-“

“She’s gone, she left,” Alex’s voice has an edge that makes even him flinch at how harsh and cold it is.

Paul eyes Alex for a moment, looking him over before speaking again, “That’s unfortunate. Would you happen to know where she is? I’d love to speak with her.”

“Well get in line then because I've been waiting for her to come home for the past three weeks,” Alex slams the iPad in his hands onto the counter of the nurses station, eyes ablaze as he stares Paul down. “You harassed her for months on end and scared her so much that she ran away with our daughter hours after giving birth.”

Paul attempts to conceal the smirk on his face but fails, causing Alex to step towards him with clenched fists. Arizona steps between the two men, fixing Alex with a hard stare.

“Back up Alex. I know that you’re upset about Jo but-“

“But nothing! He’s the reason my girlfriend and daughter are gone!”

“Okay why don’t you take the rest of the day off,” Arizona’s hands squeezing his shoulders finally breaks Alex’s gaze away from Paul whose face has broken into a full on shit eating grin. Arizona and Alex exchange a look and he can tell she’s holding back her anger now as well. “Alex, go home.”

How can I when they’re not there?

The question echoes in his mind the whole drive back to the loft, Alex’s heart constricting as he sat on the edge of his and Jo’s bed. The loft was still empty, sounds still echoing off the walls as he sat alone. His mind brings up the image of Jo and Isla sitting in their hospital room as he walked away, not knowing that was the last time he’d see them.

He leans forward, reaching into his dresser and rummages around his sock drawer for a minute before pulling out a velvet box. When Jo had told him she was pregnant he’d immediately gone out and bought the ring. Not because of Isla, but because starting a family with Jo was all the confirmation he needed that she was it for him. Now the box sat collecting dust in his drawer, it’s future uncertain as he wondered exactly where Jo was.

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you

But what a ghostly scene

“And this is your daddy and your Auntie Meredith. They love you so much,” despite knowing that the infant couldn’t understand what she said or even clearly see the photo she had pulled up on her phone, Jo made sure that Isla knew about all of the people they loved in Seattle. “Your daddy misses you so much, baby girl. I’m sorry I took you away from him, I know that makes me a crappy mom.”

“You’re not a crappy mom,” Jo looks from Isla to the man sitting next to her, his hand settling on her shoulder as he fixes her with a knowing look. “You did what you had to do.”

“Some days it doesn’t feel like that,” Jo sighs, her head falling to his shoulder as she fights back tears. “I took her from her dad! I took her away from the only family she’ll ever have, Link. And why? Because I’m scared?”

Link pulls back from Jo, meeting her eyes as he speaks, “You had every reason to run, you know that. I’ve seen what he’s capable of, I wouldn’t want to worry about that all the time if I were you. Especially with a newborn, I get it. So don’t feel too bad for yourself, I think you made the right choice.”

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

“Jo?”

The lights in the loft are off but Jo’s car is parked out front. When he switches the lights on Alex sees Jo shoving clothes into a tote bag, tear stains tracking down her cheeks.

“Jo what are you doing?”

"I'm going to Stephanie’s for a few nights, just until I can figure things out.”

Jo’s voice is nervous and she's talking a mile a minute. She still hasn't looked up at Alex but he can see the bright red hives cropping up on her neck already.

"I'm sorry it was an accident but I’m going to

fix it. It's my fault, I'll fix it!”

"What are you talking about,” despite the fact that he's spoken up more than once Jo seems to be in a world of her own.

“Don't worry about it, you don't need more stress,” Jo’s hands are shaking as she closes the bag she's holding. "It's still early, it'll be an easy fix. I'm going to fix it, I have an appointment scheduled."

It clicks for Alex then just exactly what Jo is talking about. He sinks to his knees next to her tilting her chin up so she’ll finally look at him.

“Are you pregnant?”

"I'm sorry, I missed my birth control it was an accident," Jo’s tone is frantic now as more tears begin to fall. "I have an appointment, I'm going to fix it-“

"Jo slow down, I'm not mad so stop apologizing,” Alex wiped at the tears that had collected on Jo’s cheeks. "You don't want our baby?”

Jo blinked up at Alex as if nothing he was saying was making sense to her.

“What's actually the matter Jo? Why were you so scared to tell me?"

“I… I'm married."

“What?"

“I'm married to a guy who nearly beat me to death. And when I got pregnant I thought he'd

be happy and maybe he'd let up, instead he yelled and screamed and then he,” Jo pauses, eyes downcast as she looks down at her hands. “When he was done with me for the night I wasn't pregnant anymore.

“He wouldn't let me get birth control though so the next time I just solved the problem quietly. And when it happened a third time I ran. I ran and changed my name and never turned back,” Jo finally looks up and meets Alex’s gaze, eyes watery still as he watches her. “I had a miscarraige that time, probably because of how banged up I was. But it got me out of there. So when I started having the same symptoms again I freaked out.”

“Oh Jo…”

“Alex, I’m terrified of my past and of losing you and losing this baby… I’ve already lost far too much. I don’t want to lose any more.”

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m all in with you even if it means we never get married. You and this baby mean everything to me. That is if you want it.”

“Of course I do, I want this more than anything. I want kids with you, I really do but…”

“Okay then we’ll do it.”

“Really? You dont think I’m too damaged or crazy?”

“Yes Jo, I want all of that,” Alex pulled Jo into his lap, placing a hand over her stomach as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you and you’re just about the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

The room is spinning when she pries her eyes open, dried blood making the task difficult. She tries to sit up, but the pain radiating from her stomach keeps her down. She knows if she moves she’ll make it worse, but her body is in pain and she can’t lay in this position much longer.

As soon as she makes a move, the pain is back. She thinks it’s his foot that’s making contact with her ribs now, digging into her back as her body curls in on itself.

“Stop! Please!”

The cries are useless, they always are, but she hopes that maybe they’ll convince him to end her suffering sooner or throw the next punch a little softer.

“Please stop! Stop!”

Her shoulders are shaking as she blinks her eyes open again, a pair of blue eyes staring down at her in concern.

“It was just a nightmare, you’re okay and you’re safe,” Link’s words help to steady her heartbeat a little, her eyes moving to Isla who's peacefully sleeping in his arms. “I woke you up because I just turned the news on. Take a look.”

“Former Harvard University professor Paul Stadler was arrested early yesterday morning on charges of battery and assault against his girlfriend, who is still being treated for her injuries at Massachusetts General Hospital. Since his arrest, three more women have come forward with allegations against Stadler ranging from ongoing harassment to physical violence and sexual assault. Boston PD is asking any other victims to contact them at this time.”

Jo stares blankly at the television in front of her, eyes welling with tears as the news footage continues to roll. She wasn’t alone and she was so close to being free from Paul’s hold on her.

“You have to go to Boston, your testimony could put him away,” Link’s voice snaps her out of her reverie, eyes moving from the television to him. “Jo, he’s going to prison. You can finally be free.”

The hope that had ignited her heart just moments earlier was crushed as she played through the possibilities before her. What if she testified and Paul wasn’t put in prison? What if he continued to harass her? What if he hurt Isla? Or Alex?

“I can’t. I can’t face him again… There's too much on the line,” Jo looks away from Link, her tears finally falling. “I have too much to lose.”

“And you’ll be stuck right here if you don’t do anything!”

“At least I’ll be safe then.”

“And what about Alex? You’re okay never seeing him again? Never letting Isla see him?”

Jo stands suddenly, facing Link with an angry expression, “You don’t get to make the calls here Link! I appreciate everything you’ve done for us but I can’t risk everything when there’s not a guarantee that it’ll end up well.”

Jo storms out of the room then, complex emotions overwhelming her as she sinks into her bed. She wishes things were easier, were more black and white instead of the fuzzy grey she’d become so accustomed to. But they aren’t, they never would be with Paul and now she’d dragged Alex and Isla and even Link into the pools of grey she’d spent so long trying to avoid.

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home

Alex watched his phone ring for a moment, debating on picking up at all. He doesn’t recognize the number and he doesn’t know anyone from California. But he still clicks the green accept button, hoping whoever it was wasn’t going to waste his time.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m so glad you picked up.”

Alex freezes, stares at his phone for a moment, then brings it back up to his ear, “Jo? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” there’s a long pause and Alex almost thinks she’s hung up before she begins to cry. “I’m so sorry Alex. I’m so sorry we left you. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know, I get why you left. I hate it but I understand,” a sigh leaves him as he rests his head against the wall next to him, tears forming in his eyes as well, “Are you okay?”

“Yes we’re both fine, I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t have somewhere safe to run to,” Jo sucks in a breath, as if her next words are taking everything out of her. “Paul is going to prison.”

“I know, I saw. Are you going to testify?”

“I don’t know. I want to but… There's too much at risk. I don’t want him to hurt you or Isla.”

Just the sound of his daughter's name tugs at Alex’s heart, the tears that had been welling in his eyes spilling onto his cheeks.

“If you don’t go you’re going to be living in fear for the rest of your life. But if you do, you can get closure. And you can save more people from getting hurt by Paul.”

She lets his words sink in for a moment before he hears her voice again, “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, you and Isla both,” Alex can hear shuffling in the background, a deep voice and then a small cry.

“I have to go, Alex.”

“Wait Jo-”

“I love you. We both do.”

“I love you too.”

The line goes dead then and Alex can’t help the sob that breaks from his chest. He misses Jo, misses Isla, misses the feeling of wholeness that came to him when he would climb into bed with Jo at the end of every day.

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

But you would still miss me in your bones

Alex doesn't know what drives him to fly to Boston, but he feels a small sense of relief when he sees Paul Stadler in the defendant's seat. A sick feeling makes itself at home in the pit of his stomach as he watches half a dozen women testify to the horrors that Paul had put them through, detailing the ways he had tormented them. Jo had never gone into detail to him but if what she went through was even half as bad as what he was hearing then he understood why she had gone to such extremes to hide from Paul.

He watches as the final woman testifies and finds her seat again, the courtroom silent except for the prosecuting attorneys whispering among themselves. Finally, one of the lawyers stands and addresses the courtroom, “Your honor, we’d like to call our final witness. The prosecution calls Brooke Elizabeth Stadler, now Josephine Alice Wilson, to the stand.”

Alex feels the air leave his lungs as he watches Jo approach the bench. Her hair is shorter and a dirty blonde color but she’s still the same woman he knows so well. The dark blue dress she’s wearing sways lightly as she takes the stand, stating her name and swearing in before she begins to give her testimony. Jo explains how she and Paul met, how they married, and then she goes into the abuse she endured. Alex listens to the detailed accounts she gives, accompanied by the numerous hospital reports.

“And then one day I got sick of it and I ran. I knew Paul would find me though so I fled the state and changed my name. I started a new life and I have a beautiful daughter,” Jo finally meets Alex’s gaze and he gets the overwhelming urge to wrap her up in his arms and hold her close. “But Paul found me again and he was threatening me so as soon as my daughter was born I ran again. I left behind my new life, the only place I’ve ever felt safe because I knew he would find me again and I couldn’t risk him hurting my daughter.”

The air in the courtroom is thick as Jo’s words sink in. Alex knows he’s not the only one who’s been affected by her testimony and the words of everyone that went before her. The prosecutor thanks Jo, the defending attorney waiving their right to question her. As she steps down from the stand she meets Alex’s gaze for a moment before turning away and going back to her seat.

And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky)

And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)

“Jurors, have you come to a decision?”

“We have your honor,” there’s a tense silence in the courtroom as the decision is handed off to the judge. “We find the defendant Paul Stadler guilty on all charges.” A breath of relief leaves Alex as he turns to look at Jo. There’s tears streaming down her face and the slightest hint of a smile as she looks at him. Before he can get up and go to her though she's surrounded by the other women who had testified, all of them crying in relief.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

She sees him about fifty feet in front of her, his back to her as he stands almost perfectly still. She watches him for a moment, his slumped shoulders and overall defeated attitude and for a moment she feels guilty for what she’s put him through in the past three months. Before she can dwell on the feeling for too long Alex is turning towards her, looking over her with that same sad expression he’d been wearing in the courtroom.

There’s a moment where all Jo and Alex do is stare at each other before she finds herself rushing forward and launching herself into his embrace. His arms are holding her tightly, refusing to let go even as she begins to cry into his chest.

This moment, the feeling of being in Alex’s arms again, is all Jo has wanted since she’d left Seattle.

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

“Alex, I’m so-”

“Stop, you don't need to apologize to me,” Alex pulls back from Jo, one hand coming to cup her cheek. “I get it, I understand where you’re coming from. I know why you ran so don’t ever think of apologizing to me. I’m just glad that you’re safe.”

A fresh round of tears springs to Jo’s eyes as she looks up at Alex, “I don’t deserve you. I’ve put you through so much.” Alex blinks down at Jo, not believing what he’s hearing. Their relationship had never been one sided, they’d both supported each through tough situations and had come out stronger at the end. In his eyes this was nothing more than another speed bump.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you back Jo. I love you and all of this? None of it changes how I feel about you,” Alex leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Jo’s lips. “I love you and I’m glad you’re back in my arms.”

And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed

“Hey! I just heard the verdict!”

Jo turns at the sound of Link’s voice, a wide smile spreading across her face as her best friend comes into view. It’s not so much the blonde man’s presence that makes her grin as it is the infant in his arms. Isla is wide eyed as she looks at Jo, the three month old blinking up at her mother with a sense of wonder.

“Hi baby girl, I have someone who’s very excited to see you,” Jo eagerly takes her daughter from Link before turning and looking at Alex. “Isla say hi to daddy, he missed you sooo much.”

The look on Alex’s face as he takes Isla from Jo’s arms is priceless, tears welling in his eyes as he lets out a watery laugh. The little girl snuggles comfortably into his arms, as if she had done it a hundred times before and Jo can’t help her own tears as they leak onto her cheeks.

“You three get together, I think this moment needs to be remembered.” Alex and Jo both heed Link’s instruction and wipe their tears away to boast wide grins. The photo of the three of them squeezed together after a grueling ordeal graces their family mantle for years to come. Even when there are dozens of other family photos, pictures from Alex and Jo’s wedding, and the birth of their second daughter, the photo of Jo, Alex, and Isla standing in front of the courthouse in Boston remains the centerpiece of their living room as a reminder of the sacrifices they all made to keep their family together.

Look at how my tears ricochet

[dalasteller]

shadow and bone spoilers! malina/mal fans this is not for you but it’s not pro-darklina either. i’m an alina x alina supremacist

so, somehow, the show made me like book!malina more than show!malina after weeks of thinking the opposite would be true. i don’t even like book!mal/malina, but my neutrality towards them is nothing compared to how much i detested show!malina.

I WANTED THE TV SHOW TO MAKE ME LOVE THEM. the trailers made me think i would!!! i'd heard screeners and reviewers talk about this epic love story that transcends everything—these two people who would do anything for each other—and i don't disagree, they definitely would. i just wish they would shut the fuck up about it.

sorry.

looking back, i'd rather the show gave us mal with flaws, who wasn't perfect to alina, who would die for her, but still said the wrong thing and flirted with other girls and was afraid of her power at first. archie did a great job. he just couldn't make me love mal, and neither could the writers opting to make him main character no. 2 and alina’s prince in shining armour who supports her endlessly and has never done anything wrong in his life ever. writers, please, why did you think that was a good idea? when i said i wanted a more likeable mal, i meant i wanted his flaws accompanied by positive traits, by compelling backstory, by personality outside of being alina's hot best friend who never noticed her. i didn't mean i wanted a guy who could be wrapped in a gift box and sold as a robo-boyfriend designed for romance.

no, i mean, they really did write him that way.

what i definitely didn't mean i wanted was over an hour of the show dedicated to watching mal’s perspective of hunting the stag and making besties with his military bros and writing letters to alina and getting shot at a bunch of times instead of letting the book characters who were already beloved by fans get the screentime they deserved. what i wouldn't do to have gotten more genyalina and well-written zoya instead of mal dissecting deer shit...

you would think with how much talk about malina basically being soulmates, childhood flashbacks, fighting and nearly dying for each other at least four times (and did i mention more narration about being soulmates?) that i would take the bait and just let malina set sail. but this show held me at gunpoint for eight hours straight and told me that these two are going to have the same cultural influence as new romeo and juliet and that if i disagree i am going to be killed on the spot. because of this, i have now died.

don't tell me what to do, narrative, because i'm not going to do it!

i am also annoyed that they took the time to redesign mal in perfect childhood-friends-to-lovers dreamboat fashion but refused to retcon zoya's stupid misogyny-fueled bitchy YA girl arc and instead made it even worse by having her be racist to alina? what was the thought process there? they seriously fucked her over. i tried to pretend it didn't happen moving forward but why do they want to use racism as a tool for developing a "bully" character anyway, especially a woc? am i meant to forget about it? they lost me there. i feel like the female characters, with the exception of inej, generally weren't given the same care the male characters were. there was a lot of sidelining in favour of mal's redemptive rewrite and the darkling's 15 minutes of half-assed backstory and crying in every scene for some reason. “make me your villain” .... okay, simpboy, i’ll try my best.

i've already talked about why i hated mal's role (i clarify his role, not his character, because there was literally nothing wrong with him and that’s why i hated him so much) but i'm going to address it from the perspective of my love for alina and why i think this decision was so disrespectful to her. alina in the books was already in need of more characterization, time for herself and her internal development as opposed to her relationship with the three male love interests she acquires through the series. somehow this show took a main character already underused in her own story (though at least the books are told from her pov) and neglected her even further. alina is tied almost entirely to her male counterparts, mal especially, but i'd say the darkling is used as a narrative rebound. i think they both have chemistry and can serve a purpose in the story but the emphasis on codependency is impossible to ignore.

in the first four episodes, every scene that could have been alina struggling to settle into a new life and dealing with the emotional weight of her pressure as a saint was instead about mal. she writes him letters, and cries over him, and slips him into conversations that have nothing to do with him, and gets sad after slipping him into conversations that have nothing to do with him, and can't use her power because she's thinking of him, and then only decides to fully accept her power because of his absence.

alina's feelings are lended to nothing but her missing mal. he isn't just her best friend and love, he's this colossal piece of her identity that she doesn't get to exist without, even when he's gone. the show's exhaustive attempt to make mal loveable and make malina an epic love story turns our female protagonist into a sulking, miserable shell of a character everytime he's mentioned, which, by the way, is like, every two minutes. and apparently it's necessary to draw parallels to the same three flashbacks in all of them. i knoowwwwwwww, they held hands and now they can't anymore, i knowwww. they ran through a meadow, i knowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

watching her scenes almost drove me to printing out a bechdel test and ticking off as many boxes as possible.

i hated it. it made me sad.

i wanted more alina. i want her power to be her own. i wanted that tension between her and mal in the books because his flaws gave her a chance to stand up for herself and say that she liked being powerful. that summoning is a part of her and she would never give it up. that there was a tinge of corruption, of greed, of wanting to be the sun summoner, and it was intriguing! mal's issue of not accepting alina's power allowed her to express how much it meant to her. i wanted the alina who said "the night was velvety black and strewn with jewels. the hunger struck me suddenly. i want them, i thought." i wanted a hint of the sun summoner who decided when it got dark and relished in it (yes i know this can be expanded upon in s2). alina has a cocky side, her insecurities are explored and she finds strength in her new gift and eventually has to find strength outside of it, but in the show the catalyst to her powers is mal. always. is it romantic? sure. but it's hard to enjoy the romance when all we see of alina is her romantic connection to mal. can't she be more than that?