#terrible reinforcement for bad behavior really

[whysojiminimnida]

That Was Fast.... Or Slow, But Eventually It Was Fast.

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals...

Hellsite support fixed my apparent shadowban (fuck you, toadlickkers, seriously) less than five minutes after I reported it and posted about it AGAIN and I am starting to wonder exactly how MUCH mileage I can get out of this cancer diagnosis. It's like Support looked at my shit and went

AND I AM RUNNING WITH IT YOU JUST WATCH I AM ABOUT TO BE SO DAMN HORRIBLE Like, it sucks, okay, and I'd be lying if I said cancer and the not-knowing-how-bad-it-might-sucketh is fun or I'm not worried at all... but there APPEARS TO BE A POSSIBLE UPSIDE in that every other time I bitched about not being able to comment NOTHING HAPPENED but soon as I post about it along with a medical update IT IS ALL BETTER IMMEDIATELY.

This is, to be perfectly honest, TERRIBLE REINFORCEMENT. Like, don't fix my shit because I said the C word in a post. Fix it because it's broken due to tomfoolery on the part of assholes. But I cannot complain because IT'S FIXED. Yoongi would like to point out that he too is fixed BUT IT DIDN'T HELP HIS SOCIAL LIFE.

He's pretty though. BUT HEY I CAN ANSWER SHIT NOW LET'S GOOOOOO

[yannaryartside]

Sydney Adamu; Donna's antithesis

THE BIG PARALLEL: THE QUEEN OF THE KITCHEN

Donna's introduction to the audience is in her kitchen, where she is the leader, the center of the action; all orders come from her, and the dynamic in the family is created primarily by her. She has assigned (indirectly or so) the roles of all the family members that keep the family working in the way it does. She is the queen, the leader—a role she was given by nature.

And what is Sydney's job in the kitchen? The CDC, even when she was a sous, she was already taking the responsibilities of the CDC. She is their queen, their leader in their kitchen—a role she was given by choice.

The writers had given Sydney every opportunity to be Donna so they could show us how much of Donna she is not. Here are my favorite examples of it. 

Donna brings guilt, and Sydney brings grace.

Donna created her daughter's nickname after a mistake she made as a kid (probably when Nat was nervous and afraid to fail her), messing up a recipe.

Sydney gave grace to Tina when she messed up the recipe for the mashed potatoes. Sydney could have used that opportunity to get back at Tina for making her look bad in front of Carmy and all the other stuff. Sydney decided to be the bigger person; God, Sydney was not trying to make Tina own or like her. She just decided that is not what she is. She acknowledged that Tina was trying something new and wanted to be available in case Tina needed help. Sydney gave Tina clear expectations, recognized the task's difficulty, and offered help. Later, she was graceful when a mistake was made, and gave positive reinforcement when the job was well done. We learned then that Tinas was terribly afraid of being displaced or not good enough. Sydney is giving Tina all the things Donna should have given Nat.

Another exmaple of this is when Richie and Sydney are shopping for caulk. She just buys the right one; she doesn't rub it in his face or call him stupid or careless. In all their conversation, Sydney tried to understand more, not put more fire into the pile. Richie recognizes that, and I think this is when he starts to respect her, even a little.  

Donna brings chaos, Sydney brings order. 

Both women have the role of being the center (heart) of the kitchen. Only Donna can touch the food in her kitchen, while Sydney delegates the kitchen tasks to the restaurant employees.  

Donna gives the absence of self, and Sydney brings purpose. 

To please their mother, try to win her love, or just survive the household dynamics, the Berzatto siblings had to adopt behaviors/personalities that were not natural to them. Mickey was at least 18 when his father left; he took the provider position by helping her mom run the restaurant. He also took care of his siblings. He was his ultimate ally in helping the family feel like a family, particularly by always being capable of "dialing a room" to make everyone feel entertained, appreciated, have fun, and be a family. For all these reasons, he was Donna's favorite, and the other two siblings were neglected because of it. Neither Nat of Carmy felt really like she was there for them; she probably didn't encourage Carmy to draw or Nat in anything. Nat and Carmy grew up believing their talents/nature were useless because they didn't please their mom. Neither of them recognizes the things they are good at outside the kitchen: Nat diminishes her husband's compliments on her hard work, and Carmy ignores compliments on his drawings. 

Sydney, on the other hand, can encourage Marcus to follow his passion for baking. She supports Tina in her culinary journey to the point of her becoming the third person in charge. She asked Nat to be the project manager because, in the few interactions she had with her, she perceived (or it was intuition) Nat's attention to detail, caring nature, and responsibility. In the climax of the second season, she trusts Richie to do the calling of the orders when she has no reason to believe he can, and he solidifies his purpose. Sydney "nurtured" everybody's natural talents and trusted them to walk independently. That is what a good parent or leader does. It is such a brilliant subtext. Important to note she doesn't do that with Carmy, because Carmy is her equal, her partner-to-be.

Other ones:

There is also to mention the fact that Sydney was a professional driver, and Donna tried to crash a car in her own house. Talking about metaphors. 

Also, Sydney doesn't indulge in any of the toxic behaviors that the Berzattos learned from Donna, neither Carmy nor Richie's bullshit nor the rest of the staff. Little by little, she fought fire with water, and she won, maybe because she is more like a river than a drop. She had a purpose on her own, an identity, a past that she kept to herself, and a desire to move forward. People started to respect her the more they relied on her and the more she didn't give in to the toxic traits that were ruling them before. They saw the good and followed it.

Sydney may not rely on toxic dynamics to lead her kitchen, but she will not let others take advantage of her. She did not pick on Carmy's slack last season for him but despite him. She doesn't believe that is what she is supposed to do, not only as her employee but friend and possible romantic interest. She calls the bad behaviors/tendencies by it's name. And communicates she won't have it, while also saying she belives in him.

I think most of the audience (besides the ones in this fandom) really doesn't understand how extraordinary Sydney is. If she wasn't as well-written as she is, with defects and fears, people would think that she is the "saint woman/magic woman" archetype, making everything previously broken work in her presence. I also think it is because she is a woman, and women are expected to bring magic and be fixers and helpers. There is also the fact that she is a black woman, and everything that comes with that, but I cannot comment on that, so I am not going to. Just saying she is one of the most amazing role models I have seen, decorated with the price of also being one of the most complex female characters on screen. She is not perfect as a person and has not reached her whole potential, and she wants it. I respect and admire her so much. Even when Carmy seems to have a longer path of healing ahead, I want Sydney to win the most, not just heal. I want to know more about her, her intimate desires, and why is her heart broken. Long gone are the days when women lived on screen to make everybody around them better and happier. All the things she is extraordinary for, the ones I talked about, are not just reasons why Carmy had admired her or fallen for her. She is, for me, a champion preparing for live-defining battles. We know who she is, and we get to discover what else she could be, to grow in her self-confidence, her purpose, and what brings pleasure to her soul. She is considered now the show's co-protagonist.

And I hope in s3 we are in for a journey. She made all the difference. Thank you for reading.

[fortheb0ys]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLYeA8Kt/

Okay okay okay

Pet play with Jeff vs Graves would be soo fun to see

Jeff only really gets rough if provoked, feels awful after usually unless it's sex. Then he's probably pretty satisfied, but even then he's really not that rough. Really gotta work him up to being rough, let him blow some steam in a safe environment where he won't be afraid to be "bad."

He has his moments, overwhelmed and probably panicked, especially after Shauna and her "book club." But he's not inherently a bad dog. He's a good boy, just needy and clingy, probably a bit insecure and wary around people.

That biting issue isn't awful after being with him for awhile, probably actually able to train him over Shauna. But sometimes he'll bite if something feels too good or he's frightened, but I can't imagine putting him in his kennel again over it. They're accidents, lost in his head like last time and everyone's learning from it

Graves?

Rough and mean for the hell of it. Is not satisfied by slow sappy shit unless you really work him in, or his day was genuinely terrible. But usually? Graves is wrestling and probably straight up sparring with you for dominance that he doesn't want.

Bites bites bites all the time. You look like you were thrown to the wolves after leaving a session with Graves, cannot train this out of him. It's his god given right as a puppy. Fuck him with a dildo with a knot? It's soo over for him. Eyes rolled back and drooling everywhere. 0 thoughts in this pups brain, literally none at all as he's shooting blanks over and over again.

He's bratty, mouthy. Loves to tease and be pampered. Stressed at work? Scratch behind his ears and coo at him and he's melting away, itching for that weight of a collar around his neck.

Anyways 😭 idk if any of that makes sense but you get to have my rambles anyways!

-🥭

AHHHH I WANNA DIG A HOLE IN YOUR SKULL TO LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN AND EAT YOUR THOUGHTS!! THIS SO PERFECT😭 This is fucking perfect! I'm so sorry if none of this makes sense.

Jeff is gentle natured. Only ever violent when really pushed in a corner or someone's threatening people dear to him. He's definitely not in control of his mouth when he experiences any overwhelming emotions. He would bite his lip, the inside of his mouth or tongue and not realize. He'd start panicing or whine when he taste blood.

He just doesn't like to be treated rough at all. Rough means punishment. He needs reassurance that he's not a bad boy and that no one's mad at him.

I feel like Jeff gets let off the handle more than he should. Don't want to push him and break his trust. He's, for the most part, well behaved. If he does something wrong he's most likely going to beg for forgiveness before he could get reprimanded.

His kennel isn't really for punishment. It's more of a safe space for him. Just plushies and throw blanket. It's only ever punishment if the cage is closed.

He likes everything soft and sweet, especially nicknames. Cute one like buddy, puppy, pumpkin, etc. He loves to be spoiled. Kisses and praises more the material things.

Shauna lets him stay at your place some weekends and as much as he loves spending time with you Jeff questions why Shauna doesn't love him anymore. He definitely soooooo fucking clingy. The type of dog to wait outside the bathroom door.

Shauna probably wouldn't have much patience with training him. Would give up quickly or scold him a little too hard. Gentleness is key in reinforcing Jeff's good behavior.

Graves gives the vibe of one of those pitbulls named 'Cupcake' or 'Princess'. He can be sweet but violence is in his nature. I think he reacts violently because that's how he was treated. He's violent with both play and sex. He'll violent rip apart toys and goes through them so easily. Old wounds can never heal properly cause he just bites over them (I have a fic talking about this actually).

Graves thinks if he does his mission he'll get rewarded but is let down constantly by Shepherd. He'll finish his mission and all Shepherd gives him is a cold pat on the back and his paycheck.

Yes, Graves loves the money but he craves to be praised both cause of his ego and his deep need to be wanted. If someone wants him, they pay.

Shepherd calls him a dog with a bone. He'd somehow learn of Graves' puppy play. Use it against him and for sometime Graves let him. He's loyal to the ones he's close with and it took alot to break that trust. But seeing his men, the ones he views as a pack, die made him snap.

So now with a new 'handler' he's never going to be fully trusting. He gave it away and it backfired.

I think Graves bite more so to show ownership. Yes, he has violent tendencies but he like to see markings. It's way of him keeping some level of control. Plus he just genuinely like to do it.

Graves accept no punishment. If boundaries are crossed or his actions too severe, just go quiet for a few days to scare him. He'll think he'll be abandon and will crawl back. It's a bit cruel but it's the only thing that works.

He has money so spoiling him with gifts isn't going to win any favor. He just wants someone to 'play' with. Honestly he'd probably pay. Of course, most of the paycheck is hush money.

Graves requires a lot of energy burning activity aka sex when in his head space. He's a busy man and doesn't get to relax often. I can imagine his has those heavy chain collar. Chain him somewhere and get him to fuck himself on a knotted dildo while trying to finish work than fuck him for hours after.

[aviesnapkindoodles]

Something that's bothered me as I've done introspection and thought about the way that we talk about others in the church and the way that we view certain types of people and behaviors, I really dislike the phrasing of "the world".

Because the world is taught as being the people around us. It's very us versus them scenario. You're either in the world or you're not, which basically is you're either in the faith (in the exact same way as people think is best) or you're not. And the world is of the devil and is bad and is terrible and trying to drag you down which just reinforces that weird and untrue position.

I think that the world is more so the humanistic, easily tempted parts of ourselves. I think that describing the world as people who are unbelievers or outside the faith is crude and untrue. We overcome the world, not by overpowering and being distant to the people around us, but by overpowering and distancing ourselves from evil and harm. Just food for thought :)

[technovillain]

This is a lot of stuff. I’m sorry.

I have a big PN3 idea that I wanted to turn into a long comic series, actually. It’d have a new bad guy structure that takes the “diving for understanding in terrible people” thing a bit further. And also starting to tackle the influence of bigger societal influences on the behavior of individuals. A big chunk of the character development is Lili (now a teenager) having to learn hard adult realities about fighting the good fight as she tries to take on a bigger role in the Psychonauts. It’s not just about removing the one bad guy anymore. The Psychonauts as an institution is also under threat, so the stakes are huge and everyone’s kinda being pushed further toward the edge (but especially Lili and Raz, who see this as their home).

It’s also about contending with lasting traumas from PN 1 and 2. Ford and Lucy have passed away (or, astral projected out of their bodies forever on accident depending on who you ask), and the circumstances of it bring up a new layer of issues on both the PN and Aquato sides—also tying up some stuff there from PN 2 that I wanted to look at. Like Frazie’s temptation and reluctance to let herself be psychic or Bob’s relationship with Truman. Raz himself, also a teenager, is grappling with all that stuff he felt like he was too young to process before, plus stuff about growing up. Even though it was a terrible thing to do, Raz can now better understand why Ford did what he did and wonders if he honestly would have done any better. He’s realizing in his own actions that you sometimes can’t avoid making a choice with nasty consequences, reinforced by the villain. And that has stuff to do with his family too, re: parents and siblings trying to keep the pack safe and together with unhealthy force. Dogen’s also a main character, trying to get over the fear that he’s a disaster waiting to happen and seize his own agency in things to protect the place that has been helping him recover.

It all sounds very grim on paper, but I have a plan to get it to tie together and work out based on the theme of getting to the roots of the status quo and changing it rather than bending to it.

Also, there’d be new fun enemies like Anxiety (buzzardlike) and Guilt (leech/serpentlike), which look like cousins of Panic Attacks and Regrets. They start out as little worms and crows but evolve into death-rolling alligators and dive-bombing raptors as things escalate. And changing the kids’ skillsets to fit their experience—like Raz swinging from mental connections instead of hamsterballing bc he’s bigger. Dogen making someone picture sheep to knock them out. Lili combining plants and fire to great (or terrible) effect. Ziplining on the core thread of a bad mood to get to a deeper area. Tandem lev ball combat. Going into a mind multiple times over the story to see how it changes in the face of developments.

Saying it again: really really sorry this is so long. I do really love the idea of a PN3, as well as your ideas. I felt the urge to gush bc I’ve been holding this idea in for years while I work on it. Thanks for reading. :)

I don't really have much to add to this but that's only because I love how detailed this is.....makes me think abt just how good a timeskipped PN3 could be!!!!!!!!!

[bbygirl-obi]

I think I want to soak up every take you have on Anakin and Padme with a sponge because yes yes yes. Thoughts on Mustafar?

since this is a more general ask i will take this as an opportunity to chat about something i've been thinking about lately: the direct connection between the aftermath of the tusken raiders massacre and anakin's conviction on mustafar that padme didn't love him anymore.

it's fairly clear from anakin's behavior and language following his massacre of the tuskens that he's aware that what he's done is objectively wrong. he also seems aware of the disconnect from the objective morality of the act, and what he feels about the act. he feels justified in what he did- or, he's trying to convince himself that he is- but he's distressed because he knows that's not what a good person, should be.

(as an aside, a lot of people talk about anakin measuring himself in comparison to morality as determined by the jedi order. but i think in this moment, it's more likely that he's thinking about morality in terms of shmi. he's just killed men, women, and children, supposedly in his mother's name, and on some level he knows that she would never want or condone that.)

anyways, anakin is very unstable and conflicted here. but his response to feeling these emotions- likely influenced by the dangers of expressing such things in his childhood while enslaved- is to lean away from them. he doesn't want to think about, let alone process, the guilt of what he's done. the idea that he's disappointed his mother, that he's tarnished her memory, is too painful for him. he wants someone to give him an excuse not to handle these difficult truths.

this is why he doesn't go to the jedi. it's why he doesn't go to obi-wan. he knows they will tell him what he does not want to hear: that he did a very bad thing. and if they tell him that, then maybe he'll have to confront that his mother would be just as horrified as the jedi were.

and there can sometimes be a fine line between empathy and enabling, which is something padme really struggled with when it came to anakin in particular. (i could make an entire other post about why this is, but we're focusing on how anakin perceived their relationship here, because it'll explain how he perceived her actions within the context of their relationship on mustafar.) and what does padme do?

"to be angry is to be human," she says. providing the justification, the excuse. anakin is able to lean into her comfort, safe in the knowledge that he will not be forced to handle any of the painful truths he had so feared. this comes at the cost of his personal growth; it comes at the cost of his humanity. but in the moment, to him, it feels like salvation. the world was ending and padme made it stop.

i won't go into the clone wars here, because otherwise this post would be too long. but there are many moments within the series where this pattern repeats itself. anakin does something padme isn't comfortable with, or something she initially resists, but her displeasure never lasts and she always returns to him without requiring him to change his mind or understand why she disapproved in the first place. every time this happens, it reinforces and recreates their exchange on tattooine. padme is a safe space for anakin- not just from the world, but from himself. from his own conscience, and from his own guilt.

this brings us to mustafar. anakin has done a terrible thing, an awful thing, in the name of someone he loves. just as he did on tattooine. but while shmi died, and he could only get reprieve from his guilt about the tuskens indirectly (through padme, a surrogate mother figure), in this instance his justification for his crimes is still alive. anakin is hoping for padme to condone his actions, the way he'd hoped shmi would have condoned his treatment of the tuskens.

of course, it was an incredible oversight and misunderstanding of padme as a person on anakin's part to think that she would look past the destruction of her entire life's work. that's just objectively true. but it's also clear to see how anakin's expectations of this unconditional support had only ever been reinforced over the course of their relationship- never challenged.

anakin came to rely on padme for unconditional support, to soothe his guilt and his suspicions that he'd done something terrible. and the moment she finally refused to do that for him, he turned on her.

because in his mind, her love had always been defined by unconditionally supporting him, and if she'd stopped doing that, then to him it meant that she no longer loved him. it's why he was confused- why aren't you doing what you've always done before and helping me ignore my guilt- and it's why he perceived it as a personal betrayal.

[2af-afterdark]

Talking bout how God is a bad parent. Maybe God!MC can be a better foster/adoptive parent

God!MC can either come in with gentle parenting like what most parents do nowadays, or traditional parenting. Or they can try both, and see what works out for the angels.

(If they still share a room) Gabriel and Michael fighting again? They step in and stop it, assessing the situation for the cause, Gabriel's statue of God is destroyed again because Gabriel was praying in the middle of the night...again? Sure, God!MC will fix it, then separate the three of the Seraph into separate rooms(four if you count Remiel)

Surely when MC rise to the God position, they won't be as soft toward the angels as God would've been. They would be able to establish boundaries and devise proper actions/punishments for the angel's behavior

Oh no, Gabby won't only be fighting with Michael, he'll be fighting with Remiel as well. When Remiel gets yelled at, he'll use his puppy eyes and fake cry 😰 if God!MC is soft and gives into his puppy eyes, petting his head or hugging him, he'll give Gabby the "Ha. I'm God's favorite" face

Bunnie... God!MC is putting stickers on those angels' cheeks whenever they act right. They are arguing over who got the most/best stickers. It has created entire fights that break parts of Heaven... which has caused them to confiscate said stickers. The angels get really depressed when they lose their stickers. And that's if MC is being gentle with them. A more harsh MC would scold them (at nicest), which... yeah, they need that too.

Also, I hope God!MC looked at the architecture of Heaven and realized that a lot of those fights could be mitigated by letting the angels have their own rooms. Seriously, everyone having their own safe and private space would solve so many issues. Also, reinforce the buildings. It's insane that OG!God made everything out of materials that couldn't withstand an angel attack. The more I think about it, the more I realize that OG!God was just... terrible in every possible way.

Can I pat Remiel's head? Can I kiss him gentle on the forehead and tell him what a good boy he is? He is doing so well. He's not even starting fights with Gabriel after the shit he's pulled. (Yes, I am letting him manipulate me. I am weak to the 🥺)

[sideblogformindtrash]

may i ask, what was pet orfeu's training like?

Own honestly pet Orfeu is such a sad little guy. It was probably a lot easier to train him than you'd expect =/ orfeu has veyr different reactions depending on the point of his life he's at.

Like the older orfeu, near his 30's we know? Nearly impossible. Absolute nightmare.

Fresh out the system 18-19 soaping wet cat Orfeu? Not so hard =/

cw for bbu stuff, noncon, drug abuse, abstinence, sensory deprivation/overload, touch starvation; transphobia and lack of bodily autonomy

For starters, he submitted willingly, and per usual, he was in a terrible place in his life. He was exhausted, depressed, hopeless and struggling with addiction.

The first thing they did was talk to him about his body image and gender. Orfeu is gender-nonconforming, and if left free, he would keep his boobs. He likes them. But being any kind of non-conforming isn’t a good look for a pet, so they said he had to either fully commit and go with top surgery or go out of HRT and sing as a woman. He picked the first option.

He also had his tattoos and piercings removed, and his head was fully shaved so they could then grow it out on a regular haircut.  

The ~~drip didn’t do a full removal of his memories. He had already used it at this point, and omitted that information. But the memories he did retain mostly served to show him he was miserable and unfit to be a free human anyway. 

His first few weeks were very brutal as he was forced to deal with abstinence, mostly alone and locked in a room. At this point he tried to take it all back, cried, begged, screamed and tried to fight. They were somewhat understanding of the behavior since it was due to the drugs, but he still got a beating here and there. 

When those symptoms subsided they got him into a more regular training scheme. And at first, it was kinda challenging.

He was willing to learn and try to be good and his Handler saw that - but he was still Orfeu and had an authority hating, anger prone reactive ass. 

It took trial and error. THey first started with pain and corporal punishment, since they didn't have to be as careful since he was already scarred - but that didn’t have as much of an effect. It made him angrier and skittish.

Eventually they figured out what worked the best for him was a combination of sensory deprivation/overload for punishment, a semi-permanent touch starved status, and a lot of positive reinforcement and praise.

Orfeu has hardly ever been praised in his life, so even just being called a ‘good boy’ did wonders to soften his behavior, and they integrated a lot more of it and started exploiting that in his training. 

After that they started making more progress at grinding him down. They convinced him his anger was all part of how bad it had been before, that he didnt need that now, that he could be a good pet and that he would be so loved if he was good.

And well, somehow he committed. He also just started dissociating heavily, almost constantly and living in auto-pilot.

He didn’t really interact with other pets. They tried sometimes and he mostly ignored them unless a handler had instructed him to interact. He wasn’t able to hold very long conversations either. 

They did train him as a romantic, and it was kind of a challenge to not have him just dissociate all the time. Keeping him very very touch starved helped with this, since he would begin to crave sex even if just to be held.

He also took some classes. He did well enough on some, and failed miserably at cooking every single time. 

He was also very hard to sell. He is off putting to look at, has a weird smell, he can’t be in a house that has animals in it, and a lot of people found him a bit too numb and boring.

So much so he started to become sort of a company pet for a while. He just was easy to handle and have around, and some trainers liked to take him home on weekends and fuck him as well. 

Eventually however he was sold.

[legendaryprofessorwisteria]

Beginner Legendaries

Before I say anything else, I'll say that "beginner Legendary" is a bit misleading. A Legendary should never be your first Pokemon or owned by any beginner Trainer. However, for people new to caring for Legendaries, there are good and bad choices. So I'll review them a bit because even in my field, few talk about things like this. Honestly, the barrier to entry can be unfortunately high especially given how overwhelming it can be to even try and care for some of these Pokemon.

Good Beginner Choices

Mew. They're high-energy, will need a lot of enrichment and playtime, and may become destructive if their needs aren't met. But other than that, their care needs are startlingly easy to keep up with! They're also tiny and very friendly.

Suicune, Entei, and Raikou. Suicune is the easiest of the three, but they're similar enough that I'm grouping them together. All of them need space to roam, but their temperaments are excellent. Most times, the worst behavior problem you'll have with them is having your face licked, barking at strangers, or having them come back home from a run covered in burrs. They're also big enough to carry as many as three people as adults but not prohibitively huge for an average house.

Latias and Latios. As with the Pokemon above, they need to exercise daily. But, they're incredibly friendly and easy to work with. Their care needs are manageable, and their versatile abilities make them phenomenal partners. If you can keep up with the energy and the playfulness, which is a bit easier with Latios, they are a treat to work with. People in my lab have previously fought over who gets to work with a visiting Lati.

Shaymin. They're small and friendly with less of an exercise need than most of the Pokemon listed, particularly in their Land form. You could feasibly live in a one-bedroom flat with a window garden in the middle of a city with a Shaymin issue-free. They're also relatively common and easy to find.

Yveltal. Yes, shockingly enough. They have a terrible reputation, but they're stunningly docile, and the most severe care needs aside from their large size is a meeting with a healthy Xerneas periodically for adults to keep them topped up on life energy. They also respond very well to reinforcement training, which is a massive plus for a large and dangerous Pokemon. I am planning to apply for a license to own one once I move into a house with a yard, which will be soon! However, just due to size, they're probably the most challenging 'mon on this list.

Bad Beginner Choices

Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres. They're super aggressive and territorial, making them very difficult to deal with. Even the babies are difficult to train and feisty, often snapping at their own trainers or becoming destructive.

Groudon and Kyogre. Highly dangerous, highly aggressive, highly territorial, and very challenging to get a License for. Their care needs are also really prohibitive. Just don't unless you have a LOT of experience working with large and dangerous Pokemon.

Necrozma. They're not nasty creatures by any means, and most have a pleasant disposition...but they need an energy intake that is absolutely, prohibitively high for most to keep up with, and can become desperate or violent if that need isn't met.

Literally any Ultra Beast. Aggressive to the maximum, with strange and particular care needs that can put them or you in danger if not met. Prone to hurting people by accident, and also ridiculously difficult to find.

[be-quiet-bimbo]

Hello :)

You wrote in your profile that you are open for giving advice. So i thought maybe i can ask you....

I really want to be a more pleasing person but my ego keeps stopping me very often. I get bitchy and too proud for myself.

I have this tendency to be very arrogant and stubborn. Talk back, give arrogant commands and stuff like that. I feel bad afterwards but have a hard time to stop it.

Do you have any advice for me?

Wow. This ask was sent a very long time ago. I saw it come in, and knew I needed to take time to give it thought and answer well. And then I forgot to actually do so. So here it is:

It's good to recognize our character flaws and to want to change them. Doing so takes a lot of work, though, so don't get down on yourself if the progress is slow and doesn't feel like it's making much difference.

The first thing I'd tell you to do is to start apologizing to the people that you're loud, proud, bossy, or rude to. And I mean as soon as you realize it. That will start breaking down some of that arrogant pride that stands in your way, and shows your intention toward humility and being pleasing. Eventually you'll learn to be proud of your pleasant nature, your kindness in dealing with people, and your strength of character in your self restraint.

Right now, or at least when you asked this, you were focused on the negative, what you were doing "wrong". That's an OK place to start, but that won't bring change. Start focusing on when you do "right". Ask trusted people to tell you when they've noticed the positive behavior you're seeking. Find small ways to reward yourself for those successes. Focusing on any behavior reinforces that behavior, positive or negative, because it supports the idea that whatever behavior that was is "who you are". So admit your mistakes, but then let them go. Let yourself feel good about your successes, and keep the memories of the successes and how they made you feel. You could maybe even keep a journal or star chart or something that you can go back and review, to see how well you've done and a pattern of improvement and progress, since that can be hard to see in our day to day lives.

Best wishes to you on your journey, and many apologies for such a terribly late response!

[aca-hyperfixated]

my chloe beale theory

all of my info is from the internet and my friend who is in similar circumstances.

Chloe Beale’s backstory has been heavily experimented with in all accounts in the Pitch Perfect fandom, as her backstory was never mentioned in the trilogy. In many fanworks and headcanons Chloe’s family is portrayed as being fun, loving, and very supportive and encouraging people, to abusive parents. Even when asked her “story” in Pitch Perfect 3 by Chicago, Chloe answers loosely and only with information about the last ten or so years of her life, giving information that is easily gathered by anyone who has watched the movies. I personally believe Chloe Beale’s backstory includes the character being in the Foster Care System with multitudes of evidence to support the theory. This information comes from the very limited knowledge on her life before the Bellas, her behavior and her overall personality. Based on the small amount of information we have on Chloe Beale’s past via her passport we see in a short scene in Pitch Perfect 3 we are made aware that Chloe was born in Portland, Oregon. Oregon is placed in the top 15 states for the amount of children in the foster care system, having improved drastically within the last few years (2022). This can expand to the idea that Chloe has more chances of being in the foster care system through these odds. Media about the rankings for child care per state show that Oregon falls at around the middle, with some bad, good, and overall average. This information may cause a rebuttal in arguing that Oregon has normal child care ratings but I personally see this as perfectly fitting for Chloe. I believe that Chloe was moved around a lot and went through many homes with some terrible foster parents and some great foster parents. This idea gives a lot of insight into her personality. With the great foster parents side of the argument, it would give an explanation for Chloe’s attachment issues (e.g. Purposefully failing a class three years in a row, staying close to Beca whenever they are in a scene together, etc.) as when placed with a good family, she became attached because of the fear that comes with not knowing how her next home would end up being like and only reinforcing those issues if it was a bad one. With the not-so-good foster homes, that would provide reasoning for Chloe’s people pleasing that is shown throughout the movies. I can picture a tiny Chloe Beale doing anything she could to please her foster family so she could be adopted, no matter the cost. She just wanted to live a life with parents even if they weren’t good ones who were only in it for the money. Another thing we see with Chloe throughout the movies is how sociable and friendly she is, I believe this is a product of her being moved around lots as a kid, resulting in moving schools and being a foster kid so she wasn’t really able to stay in touch with her friends from other schools or siblings from other families. This is how she adapted to moving so much, she hated being lonely so at every school she went to she did the best she could to make new friends as soon and as fast as she could. Another prominent part of Chloe’s behavior is her lack of boundaries with people, this could be due to many aspects of her childhood. As for her closeness this could easily be the consequence of a lack of affection as a kid in the system. Many foster parents are not affectionate or close with the children they take in because they never know what they’ve experienced before and they don’t want to scare them. The other side of foster parents is the ones who don’t provide attention at all just because they neglect and abuse their foster children. Chloe uses her over-affection towards friends and significant others as a replacement for her lack thereof as a child. For Chloe’s absence of boundaries, there could be many explanations. It would be easy to say that being a child in the system she was just never taught those boundaries because she was always too scared and nervous around her families to fully adhere to boundaries in the first place. Another explanation for this could not be so nice but I feel is important to explore the

idea of, Chloe could have, at a formidable age where she was unaware of the wrongfulness of the situation, have been placed in a home with parents or siblings who did not respect or adhere to her personal boundaries and privacy. After leaving that home she was never faced in another situation that gave her the ability to explore this lack of boundaries she was taught until she was out of the system and on her own in college. Another very simple idea to grasp onto would be how Chloe repeatedly refers to the Bellas as her family and if she has such a loving and supportive family at home, why would the Bellas be so important to her that she would stay in college an extra three years just to make sure that she didn’t lose them. Growing up, Chloe was always faced with the idea that none of the families she has ever been a part of have lasted; why would she assume that the Bellas wouldn’t be the same if she wasn’t there to make sure that it wouldn’t happen. Not to mention that Chloe was able to purposely fail a class to stay back in college three years in a row which would require some level of absence within the guardianship department as even the nicest parents I believe wouldn’t let their daughter spend an extra three years in college, basically costing them a whole new college education for Chloe if she weren’t to pay for it herself which even so would result in some sort of backlash which we were not made aware of in the films. With all of that said, I’m not even 100% sure that I headcanon this. Although, I definitely see a bunch of reasons to believe it. I’m not asking for your opinions on my terrible job writing this, but I would like to know what people think of this idea. If you got this far, thank you for reading all the way through, it truly means a lot.

sorry for weird space tumblr said i had too many words lmao

[magicalgirlagency]

I know it's old at this point, but can you explain how Laips's treatment of Peridot was abusive. I mean, I think both Steven and Peridot called her out over destroying the recorder almost immediately

Yeah, but Lapis didn't even bothered to get her own shit together, and was STILL abusive towards Peridot behind the scenes.

I mean, do you guys remember the episode Raise the Barn? When Lapis was desperate to leave Earth to avoid facing the Diamonds, but Peridot couldn't tell her that she didn't wanted to leave and kept making flimsy excuses to stay? And Lapis kept dismissing Peridot's feelings on the matter, plus with a tight grip on her shoulder to reinforce her authority? All of that accompannied by some ominous and almost unsettling tune in the background plus a scared, whining Pumpkin?

LAPIS: I can't... I WON'T get myself caught up in another war.

Not to mention how Peridot was so dependent and desperate for Lapis' approval in her bravery as she ran away:

And even after Peridot told Lapis the truth, that she wants to stay and fight for Earth because that's the new home she grew fond of, the blue bitch won't even flinch and then proceeds to take the WHOLE BARN with her, with PERIDOT'S BELONGINGS in it! Why the Hell would she need Peridot's belongings for?! Isn't that basically stealing?!

PERIDOT: Wait, no! You're supposed to reward me for my emotional honesty!

In fact, the whole episode was Peridot trying to be honest with Lapis, but failing to word her thoughts in a way that wouldn't result in Lapis lashing out at her. Even Steven himself is shown with a frightened expression in his face as Peridot refuses to leave Earth.

And when she returns in Reunited, she DESTROYS the barn right in front of Peridot by throwing it at Blue Diamond! And what does Lapis has to say, after being a major bitch to poor Peridot?

PERIDOT: LAPIS?! You're really here...

LAPIS: Hey.

Bitch doesn't even say "sorry", and that's supposed to be the end of her arc.

In general, Lapis Lazuli was an unpleasant character. Sure, she was supposed to be the victim of abuse, but no one actually had the guts to call her out, tell her to change her attitude and drop her nocive coping methods; Steven kept making excuses for her toxic behavior in Alone At Sea:

LAPIS: It's MY fault. I'm the one to blame.

STEVEN: That's not true...

[...]

STEVEN [referring to Jasper]: But... she's terrible!

LAPIS: I'M terrible! I did horrible things! I broke your dad's leg, I stole Earth's ocean; Go on, tell me I'm wrong!

Even Jasper outright admits how horrendous Lapis is:

JASPER [to Lapis]: You can't lie to me, I've seen what you're capable of! I thought I was a brute, but YOU... you are a MONSTER.

And again, in the same episode, when Lapis confronts Jasper, she also admits to have enjoyed torturing the Quartz Soldier as Malachite:

LAPIS [to Jasper]: I was terrible to you... I liked taking everything out on you... I NEEDED to, I-I HATED you...!! It was BAD!

And may I remind you that in Jailbreak, after being defeated by Garnet, Jasper desperatedly tries to convince Lapis to fuse with her in hopes of defeating the Crystal Gems, only to be tricked by Lapis in the end and trapped at the bottom of the ocean?

LAPIS [In control of Malachite]: I'm done being everyone's prisoner; now you're MY prisoner! AND I'M NEVER LETTING YOU GO!!

And this is just from an useless filler ep, but what about her small talk with Connie in The New Crystal Gems?:

CONNIE: Um, Lapis...? You don't remember me?

LAPIS: Ummm...

CONNIE: You almost drowned me when you tried to steal the world's water...?

LAPIS: I almost drowned A LOT of people...

Just because you were abused in the past, that doesn't give you the right to abuse others. It just makes you an insufferable dickhead who adamantly refuses to learn their lesson.

Lapis' problem never was her trauma, no; to blame a traumatized person for lashing out would be akin to demonizing their experiences. Lapis' REAL problem was how her trauma was handled, and how no one has bothered to call her out on it. We cannot help a person if they're constantly refusing to pull an effort to help themselves!

And just remember, she and Peridot never got their opportunity to develop their characters while on Earth, because the cartoon was perpetually stuck on a Steven-only perspective, and their stories would only move forward if Steven was present. If not, they're stagnant.

Oh, and about the recorder fiasco, I don't think calling her out for destroying it has worked at all, because the show would bring it back as an ill-spirited joke through a "Meep-Morp exposition" in Beta:

PERIDOT: This piece is called "Wow, thanks". It represents the struggles of inner communication, the tape is the ribbon that binds our experience on Earth together. [In a jolly tone] It has no functioning purpose; it just makes me feel bad!

[mdhwrites]

What do you think of Hunter x Luz? In my opinion they make more sense as a couple than lumity. A relationship between them would not ruin their characters, because their storyline/arc are connected and it would serve as a parallel and foil to Caleb and Evelyn.

So this question is interesting to me because it argues their narrative purpose rather than things like their chemistry. Now, yes, I think narratively Lumity is dead. Has anyone else picked up on the fact that if not for Camila, Amity's first hint that she was now single would have been when the portal closed and Luz wasn't there? No warning, no discussion, just lies of omission and abandonment. And seeing how that was much of Luz's MO with Amity in S2B it's... It's rough to say she wouldn't be better off without Luz or to even know what of S1 Luz still is there that Amity was attracted to in the first place. And that's without getting into the simplification and girlfriendification of Amity's character for the sake of Luz. BUT S1 Lumity lives in my soul for a reason. You have a cheerful, creative, outcast girl looking for approval, magic and excitement, who's rash and impulsive but also hides because she doesn't like herself, with a serious, focused, intelligent girl who thinks everything through too much, is too rigid, and who believes the world is a cruel, uncaring place that you must be perfect to succeed in. There is so much there, so much to work with, so much potential joy and pain in equal droves that it's a genuinely beautiful thing. That for a time was extremely well written. Where the main complaint you could make was that it wasn't plot relevant (and still isn't). And you want to make a claim for Lunter having possibly been better when Hunter can often be accurately described as a discount Amity and I would argue is more plot device than character much of the time? The big one I really need to comment on is the idea that Hunter wouldn't trample other character arcs. The dude trampled on Gus in order for Huntlow shipping when in Labyrinth Runners he needed to understand Willow better than her BEST FRIEND. Her best friend who was going through an acute panic attack but her best friend nonetheless. Hunter being her emotional core was only reinforced more in the more recent episode. Not only that but his narrative role is obviously to open up the EC and Belos to the main cast. To have an 'in' of sorts to start interacting with the organization properly. Motivation to fight them. You know... Like Lilith didn't have? You know, the person betrayed and almost killed by Belos who has a streak of lashing out and doing terrible things to those she perceives as having wronged her? How cool would it have been had the show actually followed up on literally any of that except for a gag and a stinger so Lilith could have an arc about learning that these sorts of motivations, anger, revenge, jealousy, etc. are bad PERIOD, even if motivating good behavior? No, instead the curse is much more her thing now before she's then just made into an incompetent gag character. And for what? Hunter, like I said, inherits a lot from Amity including the weaknesses of her arc, such as her base character being a lie the first time we meet him. By the beginning of Hunting Palisman, he's already entirely turned around on being pure evil and confident and showing a lack of confidence, an awareness that what he is doing must be slightly wrong and an unprompted openness to Wild Magic when he has only been taught WIld Magic kills. And that's WITHOUT Luz's intervention. Luz honestly doesn't feel like she causes much change in him. Maybe wedges an opening that everyone else works on but he's already a mad but sad boy by then. He's already turning into just a general nice guy without any flavor or real personality to him besides a tragic backstory and tragic circumstance, neither of which make for an interesting character. But I want to finish this with the question of chemistry. Part of why I ship Lumischa is that Boscha gives Luz and Amity a much needed grounding force. Someone who can get them both out of their minds. Someone who they can trust to tell them the truth, blunt and clear, when they need it. Her brashness, straightforwardness and willingness to do bad things if it means solving a problem contrasts well with them while she's able to give them support in ways they struggle to give each other. The fact that her personality allows for snark and sass also helps give their relationship a new angle that doesn't feel as natural between the two lovebirds. Hunter with Luz... I mean, when they were first introduced, I could see it. I didn't think it was great but I understood. You have a boy who is pro-authority, serious and focused (again, much like early Amity) with a girl who is anarchy, wild and creative. They both have an interest in magic though, both are limited magically as well and the fandom sure does love their enemies to lovers trope, no matter how poorly done. But how long do either of those dynamics last? How much can you even say that's a consistent dynamic for Hunter for more than three episodes? What IS Hunter's character to play off of Luz? These aren't questions I have to ask about Amity. Bare minimum, they weren't questions I had to ask about Amity. And they're questions that for someone who wants to ship them, wants to hold them close and do a lot with them, should have answers as easy to find as air. And I'm gasping for anything here.

[theamazingannie]

Tbf that HR interview pissed me off; Nancy, Judd and Matteo were so unprofessional not to mention fatphobic and mean.

If I talked like that at work I would have been pulled into a disciplinary so fast.

It actually put me off the characters, and how they defend Owens actions and speak about people is awful.

Like, I’m sure Carlos has done bad stuff and y’know ACAB but at least he has called out Owens and the others bullshit.

You’re so right and that was definitely something that bothered me while watching but I didn’t make a separate post about it because there was literally so much to talk about in this episode and I’m afraid of spamming the tag because I’ve gotten death threats about that before lol but I DO want to talk about this.

This episode really icked me out tbh because the A plot was very anti-PC culture and they do about it very carefully by choosing the specific topic they did. If they had someone nonblack use the n-word or a straight person use the f-word, then it would have been a lot more serious. But because they instead had the word be “crazy”, a word that most people (including a lot of neurodivergent people) don’t really consider that bad, they were able to create this environment of “anyone who doesn’t use perfect language all the time is bad except they’re actually not because who cares?” and not properly addressing it, in my opinion. By making this event cause Marjan, a fan favorite character, leave the show, they’ve changed it from “we should really address the harmful words we use without thinking and how that could affect people but also acknowledge that these are words we’ve all used for a long time and has only recently come into question and not everyone is going to instantly be able to adapt, especially in the moment” to “look at this terrible PC culture that made a brown Muslim woman the victim!”

And, as to your point, they also do this with the comments by the 126 in their interviews, making light of their harmful behaviors and words they have said on the job because those behaviors were “justified” and because they were done by characters we like, that means they aren’t bad, right? And this is what people mean when they say that media has real life consequences because now we have these hero firefighters that we like going genuinely bad things but that is swept under the rug because if they’re doing it, it can’t be bad. And this reinforces that mindset in the minds of viewers who feel validated in their beliefs because if the good friendly firefighters do it, they can, too.

There’s also much to be said about having their main police character be a gay man of color, but this is already too long. Hopefully I worded everything the way I meant to in my mind, but I just really took issue with a lot of the behaviors of the 126 this episode and how the plot went down. I’m a leftist with very conservative parents who studied persuasion techniques in college, so I’m always putting myself into the shoes of various types of viewers and how they might interpret it, and this one just rubbed me the wrong way. I encourage others to provide other opinions if I missed anything or if you don’t agree and see it another way! Just please stop sending me death threats over my opinions on a tv show😅

[funkymbtifiction]

Which MBTI or Enneagram types merge and become one with the fictional (or real) characters in books/movies they read/watch? 

I don't know that it's tied to MBTI type, though I have found it rather common in 9s who diffuse themselves into whatever they are watching and get lost in it, almost as if they are merging with entertainment rather than another person. Several INFP 9s have told me they're careful what they watch since they don't want to merge into anything they hate and be stuck with feelings they don't want.

I do that a lot. I don't necessarily mean every character, but the ones that I relate to on a basic level (due to similar background, desires, limitations, life problems, pains, mental states or life stories, etc). I can rarely get myself to watch and enjoy movies/series with no characters I can relate to.

This is somewhat similar to an ISTP 9 I know, who told me that it's not just if she can't relate, but that she can't enjoy anything where she has no desire to live vicariously through the characters -- like if there's no character I WANT TO BE, this movie is meaningless to me. It's strange from my perspective how a lot of introverts want to relate to characters, or find ones exactly like them, or identify with them -- because I just watch things and judge them on what I think of the characters' behaviors (selfish or unselfish, someone I'd get along with or not?). Either way, most of the people I know are 9s who do this, and none of them are ITJ types, so it either has to do with feeler + 9 (IFP / my feelings are involved here) or Fe + 9 (absorbing fully into someone else).

I don't know exactly why I do that. I guess by doing it, I get to know that I'm not alone, accept myself, learn their coping skills and imitate some of their behavior, lifestyles and interests.

So you're trying to learn from them?

However, sometimes it gets annoying or even dangerous. Cause sometimes these characters face really depressing situations, develop unhealthy patterns and habits, get into negative cycles or use unhealthy or dangerous coping skills instead of fully accepting themselves. All of these can affect me in a terrible way, as if I am them, or I'm the one facing those problems or feeling their pain/depression, or making those mistakes. And sometimes their pain reminds me of my own situation, which makes me enter a cycle of depression or copy their unhealthy coping skills.

This sounds like over-immersion into fantasy, or being unable to separate fantasy from reality. You aren't reinforcing a boundary. The mind naturally interprets what we see on movies as 'real' which is why our emotions can be engaged. But the conscious mind knows it's not real, it's scripted. You need to learn to establish boundaries and create a division between me and the object -- me and the movie. Their habits are not mine, their emotions are not mine, and not give of yourself that freely. And it might be wise, until you learn to better distance yourself, to research things in advance and not indulge in things that are too close to a bad situation in your own life.

I have experienced this some, where instead of watching something to get me out of depression, I watched something depressing to sink me further into it, or I absorbed its ideas about myself or injected myself into the narrative and expected similar things to happen to me (when I was about eighteen and saw Girl Interrupted, I assumed because of my depression I might wind up in a mental ward one day and got even more depressed :P that was not my brightest moment).

Ne's are rather too good at fantasizing and self-injecting into a fake world, especially if they are attachment types who struggle to divorce themselves from the object or idea. It's easy to step away and just fall into something and go with it and assume it's about you, without having enough self-differentiation to realize this is fake. So it's something to be aware of, as well as aware of how entertainment impacts you and to stay away from the stuff that hurts you. (I had to stop watching Mad Men, because it depressed me so much.)

My rational side finds this unhealthy and wants to get out of it, but no matter how hard I try, I still get back to step one, overindulge in this behavior and indirectly enjoy putting myself in those depressing situations with those triggers (watching/reading/listening to those movies/books/musics several times). Is this behavior common in unhealthy INTPs? Is it inferior Fe or enneagram related?

Indirect enjoyment is why you keep doing it. People do nothing unless there is a perverse reward of some kind in it, even if it's self-destructive. You don't want to stop doing it bad enough to stop.

I'd say you first need to address why you can't watch anything without self-inserting into the narrative (I need to relate to someone) -- is this a means of trying to establish yourself in the outside world through someone outside yourself? Or is this the only way you feel in touch with your feelings as an inferior Fe type, to go through it "with" them and then react as they do or beside them? Is this a creative workaround (living vicariously through fiction) rather than reading therapy books that could help you cope with trauma, depression, loss, etc? Ask all kinds of questions of yourself and try to get to the reason why you are doing this; knowing the why might help you to find better coping mechanisms, put up stronger boundaries, and process things separately so you can just 'enjoy' a good movie.

[altheterrible]

It's fucked up how people can inadvertently reinforce your trauma responses. Makes it really hard to heal when maladaptive behavior is being rewarded.

I basically gave up on forming a connection with humanity by the time I was about 9 or 10 years old. That's when I just resigned myself to the fact I was going to be on my own forever.

I mean, my parents were extremely neglectful, basically from birth, so I learned early on I couldn't depend on other people to meet my needs. The other kids at school hated me. I was invisible to most adults. So yeah, I distinctly remember the day I was in the 5th grade and just. Grimly accepted that the only person I could count on to get me what I needed was myself. Sucks to suck, basically, but it is what it is.

And so I grew up to be incredibly self reliant and independent. I solve all my own problems and I meet all my own needs. I ask nothing from other people. I bring no needs into my relationships.

People LOVE this about me.

Which, you know, I get. We're all dealing with a lot, life is terrible for everyone, everyone is overwhelmed and exhausted, who WOULDN'T want a friend that requires no effort? I mean, that's why people love their therapists--it's a relationship that's solely focused on YOU. And that feels great!

It eventually gets to a point where people start to seek me out because they like how it feels to be the focus of the relationship. I grew up totally starved for attention, so being sought out like that is basically like cocaine for me. It's my reward. My dopamine rush.

So it becomes a cycle, where I refrain from expressing my needs in my relationships and I'm rewarded for doing so. The people who do this aren't bad people. They're not intentionally rewarding me. It's not their fault I can't express my needs.

But my inability to express my needs or, God forbid, ask for help meeting my needs, is a really dangerous problem and I NEED to break out of this dangerously self reliant mindset. Self harm has been my answer to meeting a lot of the needs I can't express. I didn't learn how to meet those needs in a healthy way, and I did the best I could alone, but it nearly killed me multiple times. So, like, clearly I need to learn to express my needs to other people.

It's just really hard to do, when I'm being constantly rewarded for pathological self reliance.