#tfp headcannon

[thewallsaretalking-again]

⭐⭐HAPPY PRIDE!!!!⭐⭐

I am SHOCKED that no TFP pride art has come across my feed yet, so I took it upon myself to create that art! Because, let's be honest, this is the most closeted gay show to ever exist. All I really knew when drawing this is that I wanted to include bulkhead, because the poor guy gets no love :(. I wanted to make each character the color of the flags I head cannon them to be:

Arcee is Bisexual!

Ratchet is Pansexual!

Bulkhead is Polysexual!

Optimus is Demi-Bisexual!!

I might do some of the other bots or show off some of my ships before the month ends, but we'll have to see!

Note: these are all head cannons, nothing official! If you don't agree, that's fine! Just be nice :) I hope you're all having a good month! Also, if anyone has any tips for drawing Ratchet, please let me know; I think I could've drawn him a bit better.

[lovinglonerhybrid]

Ok so I just kinda thought of this but I like the idea that tfrb chase is a secret jazz/prowl love child and jazz has no idea that prowl had a kid and sent him to the rescue bots to be raised away from praxis. (I’m thinking this is pre war before they work together professionally) and prowl just never tells him even after there reunited during the war. That is until they get sent on a joint mission to griffin Rock and then prowl has to explain why there’s a bot there calling him creator but looking nothing like a praxian. Oh and prowl also has to call redalert and let him know that heatwaves also on griffin Rock and is not dead in space like every one thought they were.

[that-one-weeb-but-it-transformer]

Your Optimus' Older sister, and he's always looked up to you even as a Prime headcannons

When Optimus was "born" you were still young, you could remember holding him

Basically you guys were inseparable since you were young

You helped him get through his schooling and a job at the archives actually

You were kinda like that embarssing mom, especially infront of Femmes you caught him glancing often

"Ooo is that your little-" "no! No! No!"

In an honest respect you both have each others back, you've been there for every big ceremony he's been apart of.

He told you about becoming a prime first

You were more than proud of him.

And even as a Prime he really still found you a roll model

Always looking up to you like he did when you were both younger, either it be in battle or in simply speaking.

Its unfortunate but you both broke apart with the wars final days

He to earth and you, well he didnt know exactly what had happened to you

He hadnt forgot about you, but pushed you to the back of his mind.

Maybe he hoped you'd find your way to him like all those times you did when he got lost as a youngling, telling him it'd be okay as he cried scared he had lost you forever

"I always come back. Don't I Orion?"

What a way to run back into each other, back on earth that is

Everyones shocked to be honest.

They had never known Optimus had a sister, none the less one so different from him.

Also. He showing a happy emotion? Its a good day

"Still light as ever I see!"

Not you picking him up in a hug, basically embarssing him.

The bots were glad to have another well rounded fighter

And Miko was just glad to meet another kick ass bot

"Optimus has a sister? And that sister is you?"

"Bam! Right on the dot! Me and ol Blue and Red here! Together again! Huh?"

Despite your outgoingness you do keep silent, they've realized Optimus started doing your little finger on the chin thing as you think

"I didn't think Femmes could be so tall."

"You're just mad because she's taller than you, Jackie."

Tall femme supremacy

"So! What did you do on Cybertron?" Miko asked happily.

"Do?" Y/n questioned hands on her hips, "what do you mean do?"

"I bet you were a Wrecker like Bulkhead and Wheeljack! Are you a prime?"

"Oh my occupation!" Y/n smiled as she thought, finger holding her chin in thought, "well i did a number of things, anything to get some energon on the table."

"I thought you and Orion lived in Iacon." Raffle spoke.

Y/n nodded, "We did. Didn't mean it was easy. I did do a number of things Im not proud of Anything for my little brother." Y/n answered with a smile.

"I was more than happy to ruin my own reputation and life to get him where he needed to be." Y/n spoke.

"Wow." Jack responded, "I'd wish I had siblings like you."

Y/n smiled with a nod, "never break up a set. I use to tell him that all the time."

Megatron? Terrified of you

Mostly because you've been able to kick his aft more than once in his life time

Picking up your injured brother

Protecting your injured brother

Taking the shot for your injured brother

Ratchet came out of base to even get Optimus immediate medical attention, but you snapped back and wouldn't let anyone touch him as you held him close

Ratchet knew you before hand so it was a bit helpful that he knew all the things you been through.

Arcee argues with you for it

"You could of gotten Optimus Killed!' She shouted at Y/n, pointing a demanding digit at Arcee.

"I know what Im doing. Back off!" Y/n demanded, "and don't point at me."

She slapped Arcee's servo away.

"You shouldn't even be here! You're a liability! You don't help in anyway and disrespectful Optimus!"

"Disrespect? I'd kill myself before I ever disrespected my little brother-"

"Thats just it! He's a leader not your little brother! Not no more! He thinks your embarrassing!"

"Oh please." Y/n spoke

"You're just dead weight-"

"Thats enough!" Ratchet demanded pulling the two apart.

"If Orion thinks Im such of a dead weight. He can tell me. And I'll leave." Y/n spoke, "and I won't come back."

"His name is Optimus." Arcee argued.

"And thats where you miss." Y/n defended, "This isnt just a discussion about war. This'll be a discuss about family."

You ended up leaving after dicussing it with Optimus

"But Y/n I don't understand why you are leaving"

You didnt tell him what had happen.

"It's just best for the team. If you need me, Im a comn link away."

It's almost like a big sister going off to college, but instead of coming back after 4 years, you won't come back at all

Kinda just fell off the face of the earth again :(

He never did comn you, and you never did come back.

He felt as if he's disappointed you in some way

That could be the only reason you left in such a way

Sure though, he'd find you again on the feild.

In a cave specifically, slumped against a wall, sword at your side, dead cons around you.

Sure, you did defeat all the cons, evident by the slashed chasis, decapitications, and sliced off body parts.

Turns out just one too many injuries got you this time around.

How his spark ached seeing you in such a stature

Never to see you alive again, never able to repay such a debt he had as you being his big sister

It's even more unfortunate that he never learns of why you truly left

[arandomaquarius]

Random KOBD hc

Whenever Knockout is about to say something in company that he shouldn’t say, BD just- covers his intake with his servo.

Similarly, whenever KO is about to start a physical fight with someone Breakdown picks him up and holds him until he can calm down his small hubby

[fallenneziah]

Ratchet is 70% of Optimus' impulse control and you can't convince me otherwise.

Which is funny because Ratchet is just as off the wall as Optimus. Like whatever he convinces Optimus not to do he's already doing anyways.

Like, "Oh no Optimus! Don't go near that foreign substance, it could be dangerous!" *Proceeds to down a whole jar of foreign marijuana Energon.*

[chaos-has-a-tmblr-now]

Can we appreciate how Megasound has almost every ship dynamic? You just have to search through the right universe for it.

Friends/Close allies to Lovers for TFP. If you may add some spice to it, (non-quite literally) enemies to friends to lovers considering they worked as gladiators and most likely fought eachother eventually until Soundwave started to like the guy.

For angst, well, there is every continuity really, but the easiest route is TFE/Earthspark. They are lovers to enemies, literally. I will not be told otherwise. “Don't make this personal, Soundwave!” and “It already is.” are not really very straight dialogues if you ask me.

And lastly but most importantly, losers to lovers for G1. Because they're just two idiots, and I cherish them with all my heart.

There are darker routes for them of course, you can twist that devotion to something almost animalistic and unhinged if you may, but sometimes a bit of lighthearted and silly stuff when it comes to their dynamic is also good for the soul.

[hercarisntyours]

siblings arcee and bumblebee ughhhhhhh

[theangrycomet]

I know it’s the wrong shows for the “same universe theory”…

BUT

I am choosing to believe that Cliffjumper saw Kevin’s car way some point pre-series (both TfP and UAF), went “hell yeah!”, and scanned it for his earth alt mod

[seytazen]

Funny crack thought.

Obviously, Cybertronians aren’t native English speakers and yet they speak as if they are. This alludes to a translator technology.

What if this translator technology also acted like a filter?

And they didn’t upload any typical human swear words to Ratchet’s because he’s got such a potty mouth and dammit Optimus is not going to let Ratchet ruin human-cybertronain relations with his refusal to not swear at people who annoy him

And Ratchet is constantly swearing but the translator is making him say things like “freaking,” “darn-it,” “rear-end,” ya know baby swears.

Ratchet: Son of a biscuit…

Miko: what did you just say???

Ratchet: *rolls optics* oh please, you’re an adolescent I’m sure you’ve heard worse.

Miko: *trying not to crack up* uhh yeah you could say that- but you’re like a million years old

Ratchet: *annoyed* your point?

Miko: Like you said- we’ve all heard and seen worse. You could lose the baby swears- right guys??

Jack: yeah I mean it’s not like Optimus is around.

Raf: My siblings swear all the time, I don’t really care either..

Ratchet:… I swear all the time around you kids. The heck are you talking about?

Miko: Ratchet- only old people and children say heck. Say Hell like a grown up.

Ratchet: … you mean the entire time I’ve known you Miko, you haven’t heard me swear once??

Miko: no? We thought you were trying to “protect our ears” or some shit like that.

Ratchet: Wait wait say that word again it’s not in my translator- what?

Miko:… what you mean… you mean “shit?”

Ratchet: …I’m not getting a definition. What- oh. did you make that up and now you’re messing with me? I see. *chuckles* You got me, very funny- I’ll give you credit for that. Very creative.

Miko: *deadpan* I’ve never been so serious Ratchet- you don’t actually know how to swear in English do you.

Ratchet: Now- see here Ive been around the block too many gosh darn times to not use my darn words how the heck I want to.

Miko: Raf fire up google- pops over here doesn’t believe me.

{Later that day}

Optimus: good afternoon ratchet-

Ratchet: you fucking censored my Damn translator???

Optimus: *pained expression followed by defeated sigh*

[lets-try-some-writing]

The TFP autobots learning the meaning of the children’s names and the autobots teaching them about the meanings behind their own names

Raphael= god has healed

Jack= god is gracious

Miko= like the traditional clothing called a Miko

I looked it up and Miko actually means beautiful child/shrine maiden in Japanese so imma roll with that instead. I will stick to the two other name meanings you have kindly provided though. Though I will say, be warned, I kind of fell down a rabbit hole with this idea. I hope you still enjoy what I came up with!

Misunderstandings

Names are something that hold increadible importance to Cybertronians. A name defines a bot's entire being, to know their true and undiluted name is to practically be handed a piece of their spark. A name is sacred and only something shared with those closest to them. As such, most Cybertronians have nicknames, a shortened or less meaningful version of their true designation.

Coming to earth and having to interact with the local population meant that the Autobots needed to pick new names, a task that was rather hard considering the simplicity of human languages. Thankfully they eventually managed to pick designations that somewhat captured the meaning of their true names. However they honestly had no idea how human naming customs worked and have had several misunderstandings on the matter.

Agent Fowler gave the bots a rather skewed idea of what human naming conventions look like. He always asked to be referred to by his title of Agent, and the bots simply assumed that "Fowler" was another part of the title, even if they didn't understand what it meant. They never really figured out the difference between first and last names and went about believing that titles and last names are the same thing, much like how "Prime" was the title given to the Matrix bearer. Hence they also came to believe that a human's first/full name is, like on Cybertron, considered sacred, or at least important enough to only be shared with trusted confidants.

Since the only humans they ever interacted with regularly were Agent Fowler and other military personnel, team's misunderstandings with names did not really become an issue... until the kids came into their lives.

The kids gave the bots their first names and since those names were so simple, the team just went along assuming that those were their nicknames or placeholder names until the kids were grown. It was the biggest shock of the century for them when June waltzed on into base and called the children by their full names loud and clear for everyone present.

The bots may have had no idea what the names meant or even if June actually called out their true names. But cultural differences and the deeply set sense of sacredness associated with names struck before reason, and so the panic was immediate. Ratchet and Bulkhead looked downright scandalized as they threw their servos up against their audio receptors and looked at June in horror. Optimus dropped whatever he was holding with a loud crash and stood there looking like he had just witnessed a murder in broad daylight with the perpetrator dancing over the corpse. Bumblebee's voice went to static and he ran out of the room frantically while Arcee almost had a spark attack, tripping over her own pedes in shock.

The humans did not understand in the slightest when the whole team began chastising June for calling out the children's names so boldly and muttering something along the lines of "We heard nothing" to the children before hurrying off.

The misunderstandings only became more obvious when Rafael asked the bots to help him write his name in Cybertronian. He told the team his full name, Rafael Esquivel, and was promptly met with immediate shock. The whole team looked at him like he had scraplets crawling out of his ears before the waterworks started, or at least the Cybertronian equivalent. Bumblebee's speech became indecipherable as he gently hugged Rafael with shaky servos, his doorwings fluttering happily as he tried to keep himself from dancing around. Bulkhead and Arcee struggled to keep their cool as they also tried to maintain some form of composure. And Ratchet and Optimus took being told the name incredibly seriously and looked at Rafael with opening adoring optics.

Rafael did not understand at all as the team made swore their oaths to never tell a spark before helping him write out his name in Cybertronian with utmost reverence. However at the time he did not question it, too wrapped up in the alien writing and sudden affection to give their reactions much thought.

Jack had a similar experience late one night while he was working on a project. He needed the team's help preparing his project and once finished, he asked Arcee to write his name on his creation while he put away some things. When asked what he wanted her to write, he replied with his full name, Jack Darby, and was met with similar reactions to what Rafael received. Arcee kneeled down in front of him and very gently, oh so gently, hugged him as she shook with silent sobs. Bumblebee joined in on the hugging once Arcee had her turn and Bulkhead stood a little way's off looking like he had received the greatest gift in the world. Optimus and Ratchet patted Jack's head carefully and thanked him earnestly for his trust in them, both with large smiles and completely starstruck expressions.

Jack, totally clueless as to what was going on, looked at Arcee and the team with eyes the size of dinner plates. However before he had the opportunity to ask what all the fussing was about, June came and collected him for the night, leaving his question unasked and unanswered.

After a while, Miko, after hearing about Rafael and Jack's experiences with the bots and their names, decided to figure out what was going on. She had her two friends stand a ways off as she hopped onto Bulkhead's shoulder, and then suddenly proclaimed her full name, Miko Nakadai, to the whole base. The reaction was once again immediate as more than one bot dropped whatever they were doing to stare at her in shock. Bulkhead quickly moved and took Miko down from his shoulders before holding her gently as he did a little spin with her in his servos. Bumblebee and Arcee gave Miko little pats and adoring looks while Ratchet and Optimus warned her about giving away her name so freely while also making sure to let her know that they appreciated her trust.

And just like that, everything began to click into place for Miko, Jack, and Rafael. It suddenly became obvious that Cybertronians put some sort of emphasis on names and were likely obliviously applying their worldviews to human naming conventions.

Explanations

After the bots had settled down a little, the children began asking questions, eventually learning from the bots that names are incredibly sacred to them. They also learned of the bots skewed views on naming and how the bots had been assuming quite a bit about it since no one had bothered to correct them. This was quickly rectified once the children sat them down and explained human naming conventions to them, answering all their questions patiently.

The bots were instantly embarrassed due to their rather over the top reactions, however the kids made them feel a bit better by letting them know that humans do sort of have a true name if one were to look at the deeper meaning.

Intrigued, the bots asked the children for the meaning behind their names, as long as it did not make them uncomfortable of course. Happy to oblige, Rafael stepped forward first and explained the meaning behind his name.

Rafael explained that his name means "God has Healed". The bots were a little confused due to the simplicity of the name meaning, but ultimately shrugged it off. They mostly found the name to be endearing, and despite not knowing of or caring for the human creator god, all the bots agreed that it suited Rafael well.

Jack went ahead next and explained that his name had a similar meaning, boiling down to "God is Gracious" when one looked at the origins of the name. Once again the bots were left a bit bewildered at the lack of deep meaning usually present in Cybertronian names. However they all also came to agree that the name also suited Jack well enough, although both his and Rafael's names could use some work by their standards.

Lastly came Miko who explained that her name means "Beautiful Child" when derived from the Japanese translation. While still rather confused by the lack of deep meaning, the bots came to like the name. It was simplistic by any standards from Cybertron, but it fit Miko and for that the bots liked it.

Overall the whole team, while still rather embarrassed at their behavior, still couldn't help but feel proud to have been given the children's full names and the meaning behind them. The children's guardians, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, and Arcee were still especially pleased with themselves. Although the whole team still agreed that if the children were of Cybertron, they would have received names with so much more meaning behind them and far better suited to the children's personalities.

The Bots and their Names

Eventually the children would end up having their curiosity get the better of them, and despite knowing that names are a sacred thing to Cybertronians, they would at some point, ask the bots for their names and the meanings behind them.

The bots would be a little dubious about the request, after all, names mean a great deal to them. But after some private discussion they came to the conclusion that the English translation of the meaning behind their true names wouldn't be able to encompass everything anyway. And seeing that the children have no way of replicating the sounds necessary to even begin to pronounce their names, they agreed that there was no real harm in telling them as long as none the children recorded anything. And so after yet another moment of deliberation, it was decided that one bot would speak to the children at a time. Each uttering their true name where only the children could hear and explaining it before fetching the next bot in line.

Bumblebee went first, being far too eager to be held back for long. When he arrived in front of the children he was nervous, fidgety, and refused to meet their gazes for a time as he composed himself. His name was only known to Optimus and Ratchet, the two most important mechs in his life. As such he was a little on edge, never having revealed his name to another before. But after a moment he forced his torn voice box to function, and while staticky sounding and rather painful to produce, Bumblebee managed to utter his name.

To the children with their organic and far duller hearing, Bumblebee's name sounded like the chiming of bells mixed with the soft sounds of shifting gears and static. He then explained quietly to them through his binary speech that his name when translated to the best of his ability, meant something along the lines of [Golden-Hope-of-the-Future-Guiding-Light-within-the-Dark]. He then hurried off feeling a little lighter than before.

Bulkhead went next. He was far calmer as he approached and only slightly fidgety as shown by his laced digits and occasional shifting. He went quiet for a moment before speaking, his name sounding like the shriek of tearing metal alongside the steady sound of feet beating on the ground. He explained that his name translated to mean [Strong-Foundation-Immovable-Shield-Protector-of-the-Innocent]. He then patted each of the children on the head and thanked them for sharing their names with him before heading off to collect the next bot, content in knowing that he and the children were bound through the sharing of names.

Arcee shuffled forward after Bulkhead, a lot more confident than him and Bumblebee but still hesitant. She looked each of the children in the eyes and told them very sternly that names are precious and should not be shared. And after gaining their oaths that they would not speak of hers or any of the other's bots names, she swapped to Cybertronian and practically sang her name. To the children it sounded like rain on a window alongside the whistling of the wind and the crunch of gravel. An odd mix, but one that pleased their ears.

Arcee then went on to explain that the meaning of her name went along the lines of [Free-Sparked-Child-Pure-Minded-Warrior-of-Justice]. She then gave the children as much of a hug as she could manage with their difference in size before heading off, feeling a little better knowing that her name was known to someone again.

Ratchet came not long after, his steps, posture, expression, and general disposition surprisingly relaxed as he approached. He was not hesitant, instead he seemed determined as he spoke his true name. The sound of it being akin to the hiss of cooling metal, the constant thrum of an engine, and the quiet chirping of a bird all combined into a strangely satisfying symphony. Ratchet then elaborated on his names meaning being best described as [Healer-of-Broken-Sparks-Watchful-Caretaker-Keeper-of-Difficult-Truths]. The medic then thanked the children quietly for helping them in a battle not of their world and for sharing their names before leaving without so much as a peep.

Lastly came Optimus, striding forward as regal and noble as ever. He stopped before the children and told them that he had two names, one from his time as Orion Pax and another given to him after his ascension to Prime. He told them that he would allow them to hear both on the condition that they also swear and oath to him not to share his or any of the other names revealed to them. The children agreed and uttered the oath, the completion of it leading Optimus to become far more relaxed. A small smile graced his features as his spoke his first name, one which sounded like the quiet lullaby sung in a long forgotten tongue and accompanied by the low growls of creatures of the wilds. The meaning of the name was revealed to be [One-who-Knows-and-Seeks-Truth-Bright-Sparked-Wild-Born-Bringer-of-Change].

His second and current name sounded like a choir of hundreds of voices accompanied by the heavy sounds of drums and mixed whispers from a variety of potential sources. Optimus then went on to explain that the meaning of his name roughly translates into [Perfect-Vessel-Chosen-Champion-Keeper-of-Wisdom-Pure-Decendant-Protector-Leader-Guiding-Light]. The Prime then smiled at the children's shocked expressions from hearing all the names from the bots before patting them softly with one large digit and then wandering off.

[hollister-mc]

Bro, whatever you do, do not imagine tfp starscream

Slowly having the realization that he's in love with you

Being terrified at this new and raw emotion he has for another person (even more so if your a human)

Not only being scared of the new feeling but horrified at the idea of Megatron finding out he loves someome else for once in his life

But despite all that he still loves you. And whenever he's around you he just gets the light feeling in his spark, you make him feel alive. His wings flutter when you say something nice to him. He's just so utterly anamored with you, he fucking adores you.

Whenever your talking, or rambleing about nonsense he'll just watch you with this soft look. His optics half lidded, a gentle smile, and his wings drooped because he's just so comfortable around you.

If you catch him staring at you he'll quickly turn away and scoff at you for calling him out. "No I wasn't." You'd just huff and move on, continuing whatever it was you were rambling about. As soon as you were back into your groove and distracted he just goes back to staring at you with that adoring smile

You would be the only person Starscream would ever die for

[dorkwalf]

Wheel jack is the only reason ratchet gets sleep.

Ratchet will be up for days and wheeljack will final march in at the dead of night and be like “GO TO BED NOW! BEFORE YOU GO CRAZY AGAIN!” And ratchet will like at home dead panned face and say “no.”

Wheel-jack will then march over there and take the stuff he’s working on out his hands and toss him over his shoulders. Carrying him to bed and cuddling with him making sure he can’t leave until rested.

[lovinglonerhybrid]

(Throws head-cannons into the wild) Go! Go be free my little ideas!

Anyway have some random ideas!

When he was still in the pits of kaon megatron and Soundwave took a small up and coming gladiator under there wings. This gladiator was heatwave who was sold to the pits as a youngling. The elder gladiators protected him and helped him save up to escape the pits and join the rescue bots.

Ironhide,Kup,and hightide all have a group chat where they complain about the young bots. That is until Ironhide got the terroir twins sideswipe and sunstreaker and kup got hotrod. Then they started to boast about how good there little cadets are doing look hot rods an outlier. Hightide felt left out untill he got the rescue bots then he was all into boasting how he had the best cadets and there all so cute and feisty. Hotrod makes a chat for the cadets forced to put up with grumpy old men and adds the rescue bots.

There are more bots on earth than most people know. Ironhide the twins along with mirage and hound have been on earth since the late 1800s when they escaped from one of shockwaves labs. The experiment he was running turned them all into beastfomers. Ironhide is a horse and had adopted a cowboy who he saved the life of named Arthur Morgan (I need him to live I’m sorry). Sideswipe and sunstreaker are wolves and mirage is a barn owl. Hound is a hound dog. They all live on a ranch in the middle of nowhere and are unaware of the other bots on earth.

Kup hotrod and drift are all in Japan and are having a wonderful vacation. They end up partnering up with Mikos older sister. Who helps them find whirl. She and whirl get along a bit to well.

Woodrow burns knew about cybertronions long before he meet prime and the rescue bots. When he went to university for his archaeology degree he had some professors who had the whole class sign an nda agreement. Those professors where Skyfire,percepter,and brainstorm. When the whent on field trips the class would all ride in Skyfire and Woodrow is so pissed he can’t brag to Charlie that he knew the aliens first.

Anyway that’s all for now. Have fun and buy gold.

(Also comments and interactions are greatly appreciated I love all of you)

[tf-cyberaligned]

I noticed in one of the oneshots that you mentioned that Blades was the oldest. What are the ages you have for all of the bots?

I was going to bring this up in a future chapter, but I can post those ages now since they aren't too lore specific!

Every age currently is translated to human years. I have yet to fully complete my Cybertronian time conversion sheet. The ages in parenthesizes are the translations to human ages. This is what you will see as they're in their holoform.

Starting with the main four (They were in stasis for 10 million human years)

Blades- 31.2 million (35 y/o) Heatwave- 21.9 million (25 y/o) Chase- 20.3 million (24 y/o) Boulder- 19.9 million (late 23y/o)

And the side bots

Soundwave- 69.8 million (early 70 y/o) Hightide- 55.8 million (late 55 y/o) Quantum- 31.5 million (35 y/o) Quickshadow- 22 million (25 y/o) Salvage- 10.2 million (20 y/o) Blurr- 9.7 million (19 y/o)

And the other bots are under the cut

Other bots

Optimus- 75.3 million (70+ y/o) Ratchet- 69.9 million (early 70 y/o) Megatron- 65.7 million (late 69 y/o) Ultra Magnus- 56.4 million (early 56 y/o) Starscream- 56.1 million (early 56 y/o) Shockwave- 55.5 million (early 55 y/o) Arcee- 49.2 million (early 50 y/o) Wheeljack- 48.5 million (49 y/o) Bulkhead- 43.7 million (44 y/o) Breakdown- 40.3 million (43 y/o) Knock Out- 39.1 million(43 y/o) Bumblebee- 24.7 million (early 29 y/o) Smokescreen- 7.8 million (18 y/o) Em- 337 years (4 y/o)

And here are the ages in human age terms

0-300 years - Sparklings/Newspark (0-3 years old) 300-2 million - Sparkind (4-12 human years equivalent) 2-7 million - Younglings (13-18 years) 7-18 million - Sparkhale (18-23 years) 18-25 million - Youngsparks (23-29 years) 25-33 million - Tricenspark (29-38 years) 33-49 million - Maturspark (38-50 years) 49-63 million - Midspark (50-62 years) 63-70 million - Elder/Geriaspark (62-70 years) 70+ million - Archaicspark (70+ years)

[skylarkking]

Characters that I am TOTALLY normal about (but not really) 🔞 under cut

TFA Prowl. Love a bot who's all spiritual and shit. Good vibes, good spark, and flexible 😉

Any Optimus Prime voiced by Peter Cullen. Like, my guy has a deep ass sexy ass voice and if I heard one of those Optimus's ask me to spike him you better believe my ass will comply.

MTMTE Rung. I headcannon that he is an absolute KINK MASTER while being a BOSS at fluffy aftercare

MTMTE Whirl. Need I say more? This chaos bird needs to be loved. Also apparently it's cannon that when he walks his head bobs like a bird for balance and it always has me wheezing

TFA Blitzwing. Who doesn't want to viciously bang this German dweeb? I mean come on!

TFP Ratchet. I-I-I >//////< no words only horny thoughts

MTMTE Misfire. THERE ISNT ENOUGH LOVE FOR THIS FUCKING IDIOT AND THERE NEEDS TO BE AND AND AND-!

Cyberverse Hot Rod. I mean COME ON! He's so fucking ADORABLE!

Armada Starscream. Look I just LOVE this version of Starscream. Like, let me fuck the honor bound jet okay?

RID 2015 Grimlock. I'm sure some folk are beginning to figure out that I love dumb bots. Plus his fucking grins make me LOSE IT!

Any Shockwave aside from Bayverse. Need I say more? Evil scientist daddy? Fuck yes. Also TFA shockwave has THE SLUTTIEST waist known to man

MTMTE Swerve. I love a chatter box that info dumps about stuff he really likes. He's just so adorable and I wanna squish his cute little face!

G1 Skyfire. I especially love thinking that he and G1 Starscream use to be more than science partners and that one of the reasons Starscream became the way he is now was because he blamed himself for Skyfire's disappearance.

TFA Lockdown. Nuff said

[fallenneziah]

Transformers Ships Trying to get their partner's attention.

Optimus Prime x Ratchet

Optimus and Ratchet are both fairly independent Mechs. Although they seek attention and affirmation from each other in private, this is quite enough for them most times.

Optimus usually comes to Ratchet first. Ratchet is usually to cooped up or doesn't register the time of day enough to pull away.

Ratchet loves his work and Optimus hasn't always been successful in getting Ratchet to see him.

The approach is all about how he's feeling. If he's feeling particularly flirty he'll come from behind and squeeze Ratchet's hip plates and press Their upper frames together. A quick kiss on the helm, followed by another and probably a sly remark to get Ratchet's attention, then their off.

Other times Optimus will wait till everyone is out and casually watch Ratchet work. He'll eventually come up and rest against Ratchet's subpack and watch him type until the medic acknowledges him.

When Ratchet wants attention it is usually more subtle. Ratchet is strong and provoking even to his Prime. He can't be forced into anything, so it'll be easy to miss of you're not paying attention.

He will stand at the edge of Optimus' bed while he's reading a datapad until the Prime gives him full right to hop in and cuddle up.

Other times he'll sit next to Optimus and lean into his larger body. Either as a small reminder that their close or as a nudge for something more, all depends on the mood.

When Ratchet is flirty or just down right out for the Prime's di-

It'll show.

Ratchet will watch him from far away, lingering obscenely long on Optimus' more intimate features. Usually when Optimus notices he'll excuse himself from whatever he is doing and will retire to his room, followed by Ratchet not long after.

Wheeljack X Ultra Magnus

It's a well known fact that Wheeljack doesn't see anything wrong with fully expressing himself in public. He is willing to just shout out "somebody give me attention!" And probably wouldn't feel any certain way about it. So when he wants Ultra Magnus' attention, he's going to get it.

Being a super serious lieutenant, Wheeljack finds it's most affective to get his attention in two ways. Being loud and annoying, or just a general brat.

When he's loud or annoying he'll do things like sneak up on the taller mech and catch his hip joints in just the right place to where UM can't move until Wheeljack removes his fingers from the sensitive mesh. That gets Ultra Magnus upset.

Wheeljack learned early on that it's not the kind of attention he is looking for from the big boy.

So he's set out to making annoying noises when he's in a silly and playful mood. If Ultra Magnus isn't feeling grumpy and they are fairly alone, sometimes hell reprimand the wrecker as he gives him kisses. (This only encourages the little demon)

While he's blunt and straightforward, Wheeljack does have manners. If their on a mission some lighthearted flirting to encourage UM's performance rate is tolerable, but it's subtle enough only Ultra Magnus himself picks up on it.

When Wheeljack is flirty there is hell to pay for anyone in the room. Hips? He goes for those. Back struts? He goes for those. Anywhere tactile he can get his hands on he is touching. If Ultra Magnus is talking with Optimus he usually will wait, but if it's someone like Arcee or Bulkhead he has no problems just walking by as his servo makes contact with the lieutenant's plating, followed by a snide comment.

Playing brat works best. Denying orders, poking at the boundaries of the rules, waving all his angles in the lieutenant's face in a "want it come catch it" way. And Ultra Magnus is nothing if not dominant. He wishes Wheeljack would follow the rules more and is glad to put the wrecker in his place. Usually a good frag will get the mech off his back for a couple days.

Ultra Magnus is not an attention seeker. He's not shy, but he has stuff he can occupy himself with and will rely on Wheeljack for the go ahead.

But when Wheeljack is acting bratty he has no problem chewing out the wrecker with his words in a very suggestive way. "When we are alone you are going to strongly reconsider your word choice," "If you do not want this to get out of hand I suggest you stand down," etc.

But when their alone sometimes Ultra Magnus will walk up and discreetly brush his hand over Wheeljack's until the wrecker takes hold of it.

Megatron x Soundwave

Automatically Megatron makes all the moves.

Soundwave is compliant and usually won't make any moves for attention unless he is above 80% sure Megatron will positively reciprocate.

Megatron is all about praise. Anything Soundwave does is followed by a walking marching band of praise. This praise is sometimes a way of Megatron subtly saying that he acknowledges Soundwave and requests it in return. Or he'll simply command attention from his third in command.

Megatron enjoys it when others can witness the affection he receives. He has no problems sitting in a meeting with Knockout or the Vehicons while Soundwave sits on his lap and strokes his abdominal plating.

After a long day he'll come up behind Soundwave and whisper softly into his audial. He'll get Soundwave to detach his data cables and will pick Soundwave up off his feet. Then carry him to their room.

Megatron really has no problems getting Soundwave's attention considering above all else Megatron is Soundwave's top priority so anything he wants Soundwave has no problems giving.

When Soundwave wants attention, sometimes he'll comm Megatron privately to alert him of his growing need for physical or emotional attention. To which Megatron will give almost immediately. Peace treaty with Optimus? He'll get up and leave if Soundwave calls. It's not that he doesn't care for his tasks, but Soundwave is as important and as high a priority for Megatron as in reverse.

Only occasionally will Soundwave surprise Megatron by sitting down in his lap without asking or laying flat across him in the berth with his helm right where the datapad he had previously in his hands was. But Megatron never pushes him away. A small reprimand Is the worst Soundwave's recieved.

And if Megatron or Soundwave want time in the berth, a simple comm and the other is at beck and call.

Soundwave x Shockwave

Let's be honest if just sort of happens. One way or another they both end up in the same scenarios.

As Shockwave is empurata his ability to properly make a move is seriously limited. A science joke or something about the periodic table and that's about it.

Despite not having his emotions figured out he is the more jealous of the two. If a mech is talking to Soundwave a littler longer than Shockwave things they should, then he will allow himself to make his presence know. Not in a romantic way, but he, like his boyfriend, has mastered the art of looming. He'll watch and stare until he can feel the unassuming Cybertronian's plating crawl.

Whenever they do interact, it's usually when Soundwave is dropping off Energon rations and crates for Shockwave's experiments. He'll ask to stay for a drink and Shockwave will oblige 9 times out of 10.

Soundwave will usually come in and after casual conversation, he will casually tell Shockwave he's feeling horny or just wants to spend the day in the berth with him no matter where it leads.

They are both very casual about the amount of attention they receive from the other. Both seeing things as they are, they love attention but can go a while without it before it's unbearable.

However, there are some days where Soundwave will come over unannounced and simply lay his head on the desk, watching Shockwave work with his tools like a child. Once Shockwave has a moment, he'll reach out his much larger hand and ruffle Soundwave's helm fins gently with a casual greeting. Soundwave will hum in reply and usually just watch until Shockwave sees it fit to take a break and care for Soundwave.