#that because he is ugly he is unlovable

[jacquelinemerritt]

The Hunchback of Notre Dame vs. The Prince of Egypt

Originally posted September 21st, 2014

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is actually similar to The Prince of Egypt in a lot of respects. Both films deal with the nature of faith, racial discrimination, and class warfare, and Hunchback also does a fantastic job at showing the atrocities committed in the name of the Catholic Church during the Inquisition. Hunchback’s score is also phenomenal; Hellfire is absolutely brilliant, and its use as Frollo’s motif just adds to how sinister of a villain he is. So what’s wrong with Hunchback then? That I can actually narrow down into two categories: The Romance, and The Comic Relief. (Yes, I’m doing this film differently than The Lion King; work with me here).

The Romance

I’ve heard the arguments for why Quasimodo shouldn’t end up with Esmeralda. And they don’t hold up. Sure, it’s realistic that the ugly guy doesn’t get a pretty girl. Sure, the film did work to establish Phoebus as Esmeralda’s primary love interest. Those are both valid points, and they would both matter if it weren’t for one thing: the film makes us watch as Quasimodo has his dream of romantic love crushed.

Oh, well, THAT’S sure a fucked up message you’re sending, Disney. Apparently ugly guys cannot ever find love beyond platonic relationships and have to accept that that will never change!

It’d be one thing if Quasimodo hadn’t fallen in love with Esmeralda. There’s really no reason for him to be in love with her; everything he does for her could simply be considered a mark of friendship. But this film goes out of its way to directly state that because of how ugly Quasimodo is, he will never find romantic love. Ever. Hell, I’d be okay if they had set up Quasimodo as someone having a childish crush. But he’s very much in love with her, as the voices in his head (aka the gargoyles) make clear.

The only thing I find redeemable in the romance is Quasimodo’s full acceptance of Esmeralda loving Phoebus. That’s a bit of interesting drama that if played correctly, could have turned into a much more interesting story; namely, a story about Quasimodo accepting that being a “nice guy” won’t get you the girl if she’s not romantically interested in you. But instead, it focused on Quasimodo’s devotion to Esmeralda, and made that devotion into one of the key forces that drives the plot.

The Comic Relief

I want to preface this by saying that not all the comic relief in this film is bad. Some of it is fantastic, in fact.

The scene above, The Court of Miracles, is the perfect kind of comic relief for this film. It walks the line between being zany and creepy absolutely perfectly, with a bunch of flamboyantly dressed characters happily dancing and singing about how they plan to kill Quasimodo and Phoebus. It’s a nice, funny interlude that still doesn’t break completely from the gloom and darkness present in the rest of the film, while still providing quality humor and a nice break from Frollo’s rampage. Compare that, to this:

That song does not belong in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It just doesn’t. Nothing about that sequence fits the tone of the film at all, and it ends up just serving as a distraction from the fantastic main story. And the same can be said about any scene containing the gargoyles. I wouldn’t mind there being a quirky sidekick in this film if it was Esmeralda’s, Phoebus’, or even Frollo’s sidekick. They could both be aware of the gravity of the situation and try to make it easier to bear by joking about it. But the gargoyles are completely disconnected from the rest of the plot. They are stone creatures only Quasimodo can see, and their job is to make witty commentary on Quasimodo’s love life; at no point except the final sequence do they interact with any of the main story in any substantial way.

What The Prince of Egypt does better

Everything. The only thing The Prince of Egypt doesn’t do better than Hunchback is criticize the Catholic Church for the Inquisition, and that’s because The Prince of Egypt is set in (surprise) Egypt. Prince of Egypt has a better score (only by a little though), it has better characters and character development, it has better animation, it has a better romance (which thankfully is treated as incidental, since it is only incidental to the plot), and it has much better comic relief. Hotep and Huy are much funnier than the gargoyles, and they fit much better into their story than the gargoyles.

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[waitineedaname]

tbh it is incredible how compelling bingge and shen jiu are considering they're characters who ceased to exist as soon as the novel began

[irregularbillcipher]

i'm so sick of people who use the fact that mabel is very much like bill (yes, true!) and that bill even likes mabel (again, yes, true!) and understands her in some ways (again yes!!! true!!!!!!!!!! what was the bubble but a party that never ends with a host that never dies?) and then twist it to fuel their mabel hate. like for one, every pines family member has some deep commonalities with bill because he's an effective villain and plays off the heroes of the story so well! but ALSO because it completely disregards how their core philosophies about the world and people around them differ and it bums me out

i have said this before, exactly like this, and i will say it again. the main difference between bill and mabel is that bill finds the universe and the people in it constricting and dull and frustrating while mabel sees the beauty in dull people and things and sees them as full of potential. bill sees something boring, he destroys it, mabel sees something boring, she gets out her glitter glue. mabel is so filled to the brim with love and affection for others and such a wild desire to make everyone, including herself, happy at all times, and bill is trying so hard to be happy that he deliberately hurts people, ruins his own life, ruins the lives of everyone around him and then doesn't understand why he's so miserable. like these two are fascinating because they are both remarkably similar and WILDLY different and, most importantly, they are interesting to look at as foils because mabel is a good person

[littlefankingdom]

Character: *Is clearly suffering from depression*

Me: I'm sure the fandom doesn't make fun of it or vilify it, portraying depressed folks as toxic to be around... (/sarcasm, they fucking do everytime)

[depoteka]

what if i will just never romantically vibe with any man i meet in my entire life. what then

[longagoitwastuesday]

Truly the José Ferrer version of Cyrano de Bergerac is the best by far because by the end of the film he has you convinced he's the most attractive man ever, even if he still doesn't believe it, and that is at the core of what the play is about

[hazedout]

Thinking about un getting-raped in my head. I’ll just think I wanted it, to move on and forget . Whatever it’s not a big deal. And it’s not like I tell any people anyway

[denizenhardwick]

akechi's entire life is built around getting other people to like him to such an extreme degree that he really has no identity of his own. everything, down to the minutiae of his hobbies, what he eats, how he dresses, how he stands, it's all in service of that same goal.

because he was brought up under the weight of so much societal shame and personal rejection with absolutely no reprieve or chance to see himself as anything other than a worthless, unlovable burden that shouldn't exist. and then he's suddenly given this otherworldly power, and with it, the chance to be... something. literally anything other than what he is. special.

but he doesn't have any real power. he's vulnerable and easy to exploit, because of a multitude of social factors and also this craving for praise, attention, acknowledgement. and he's thrust into the spotlight and made a celebrity as a teenager, something that is infamously terrible for anyone's mental health, and he has literally no support system at all, no one who can prepare and protect him from being famous.

he goes from a lifetime of being told he's worthless, he's a burden, he's a curse, to suddenly being adored by who-knows-how-many people he's never even met, told he's smart and handsome and important. how do you reconcile that? he didn't, he just once again became what other people said he was. he became perfect. but his prior self-image didn't go away, of course not, but if he wants to feel good for once and bask in the newfound euphoria of finally being wanted, he has to suppress all the shameful, ugly feelings and parts of himself. something that is impossible to do when you are also being manipulated into killing people and ruining lives on a regular basis.

when we meet him, his self-image is unstable, and entirely reliant on how people saw him. there's no consistency because no one really knows or loves him, he has no personal connections. that's why he tells joker his past after medjed, when the media hates him, because he can't maintain his perfect self-image to feel okay and is confronted by the one person he knows who actually wants to spend time with him and might like him personally.

that's why he has two personas, why they each have a different outfit, and why they're so far removed from each other that it hurts for him to switch between them. robin hood is the idealized, perfect akechi, the person he's wanted to be since he was a kid playing hero with a toy gun, that he really thinks he is as long as that's how others around him treat him. loki is how he sees himself beneath all that, as an evil, crude monster, a mystery even to him. but they're both him, and that's really important. and when he can reconcile these two extremes, when he's ready to try to move on to form a healthier view of himself, they fuse to form hereward, who is importantly named for a historical figure who may have inspired the robin hood stories. because while akechi isn't a pure hero of justice, he's not a monster, either.

[puff0o0]

Sunflowers will always look towards the sun

Arthur Morgan always loved you, there was never a day where he felt he was falling out of love

If anything he felt like he was falling deeper

The way you smiled and talked to him, the way you joked around, the way you somehow always made his day better, the way you showed him affection, the way you made him laugh, the way you looked, the way you acted, it was all so perfect

You are a sight to behold

You practically beamed, your smile creating a light that he didn't think was possible

He felt like he had to squint his eyes when around you because of how much light you gave off

So sweet, so kind, yet always managing to keep him in line and call him out on his bullshit

You were always gentle with him, showing him love that was never showed to people like him. You made him laugh- a real laugh.

Not a chuckle, not a forced sound he made just to convince his mind that everything was alright in the meantime, not a sound he made to ease the worry of everyone around him

You made him realize just how happy he could be

After Mary, he never thought he'd find someone he could be with. The love of his life finding someone else ruined his mind, making him feel inferior.

It made him feel unlovable.

Her family constantly belittling him for being an outlaw, a danger to her

It ruined his perception of love

You changed that- showing him that someone could have him, that someone could deal with him, that maybe he wasn't the ugly bastard he thought he was

You made him feel like a good man

You were his dream partner

Arthur Morgan was no better than a damn sunflower

[fortheloveofexy]

I know Nora says andreil don't say "I love you" and I know many people prefer that take and I also know that saying the words is not necessary to have a loving, healthy relationship and that some people love differently etc etc...

BUT! I think they do say the words, at least once. And here's why:

Neil needs things spelled out. He might know that he loves Andrew, but he will never, ever make an assumption about how Andrew feels about things, including Neil himself.

Additionally, Neil is not used to being loved. He isn't used to assuming that the people in his life actually love him. So why would he assume someone loves him just because they do nice things for him sometimes? Maybe they're doing it out of pity. Maybe they have ulterior motives. Neil doesn't know and the idea that it's out of love would not be his first guess.

So, if Andrew doesn't come right out and say it directly, Neil will live under the assumption that Andrew doesn't love him.

He might be fine with that, going about his life believing Andrew doesn't love him the same way Neil loves him. Neil is used to loving things that don't love him back, and at least Andrew seems to care enough to let him stick around. That's better than nothing.

However, the minute Andrew finds out Neil thinks his love is one-sided, he makes sure to correct that.

It's like pulling teeth for him - getting the admission, the words out there - but Andrew refuses to let Neil carry on believing he is unloved.

It comes out more like an insult and a curse, wrapped in barbed words to hide the soft underbelly Andrew is exposing ("God you are so dense sometimes. I love you, you fucking idiot.").

But the fact that Andrew utters those words at all is enough to make Neil's eyes widen ("Do you mean it?") and Andrew's ears turn pink as he nods ("Don't make me say it again.")

And then Neil says it back, and he says it so plainly and so honestly ("I love you too.").

And this is the part Andrew had not expected, because he knew all this time that Neil loves him. Neil had stayed - without a deal, without a promise, expecting nothing in return. He gave Andrew all of his truths and then some. That was all the proof Andrew had needed.

But then he hears the words out loud and it's overwhelming. Neil has always been shameless in his feelings and his affection, and there was never any doubt, but-

It's nice, to hear the words out loud and know for a fact that they are true. In the past, "I love you" has always been a lie, a trick, a shiny veneer to hide the ugliness beneath the surface.

But not so here. Neil has backed up that "I love you" every step of the way through his actions. This "I love you" is not a lie. It is just another one of Neil's truths, given freely.

[remcycl333]

STEP 1 - CHANGE WHAT YOU’RE AWARE OF

notes from “the creative use of imagination” by neville goddard 🤍

step 0 is to decide what you want. maybe you want money, or a new place to live, or an sp, or physical appearance changes.

step 1: begin to observe those thoughts and reactions towards the thing you want to manifest.

“to arrive at a certain definition of self, you must begin by uncritically observing your automatic reaction to an event, for your reaction defines your state” -NG

throughout this post, I will use the example of physical appearance change.

maybe throughout your day, you see pictures of other people on social media that you view as more attractive as you, and your reaction to that is “I wish I looked like them, this isn’t fair why am i not as attractive as them, what do I need to do to look like them” etc.

or maybe you see yourself in the mirror and you think “god why do i look like that, why am i not attractive? why hasn’t my face changed yet?” Etc

if you were in the state of having your desired physical appearance, would you be reacting that way to your 3D?

the first step to changing our state is to first learn the way our old state behaves and reacts to things. it is our current dwelling state that is reflecting in our 3d right now, and when you stop and observe your reactions to things, it becomes glaringly obvious how they’re creating your 3d. if you’re ruminating on how ugly you think you are all day long, you cannot be surprised when you look in the mirror and are dissatisfied with what you see.

“If you react to that which is being objectified, you bind yourself to a certain level of awareness, but if you refuse to react, the thread is broken.” -NG

“Only by observing your reactions to life can you find yourself.” -NG

how are you supposed to know what state you are in if you don’t observe your reactions? And once you begin to observe your reactions, Neville says you will be shocked by how deceitful you truly are. but he always urges the importance of uncritical observation. you should not shame yourself for what you find, or even feel bad. these observations are simply meant to show you your current state, and the ins and outs of it so you are able to change it more easily.

“always examine yourself uncritically, for the moment you become critical, you automatically justify your reactions and associate yourself with the thing observed.” -NG

once you begin to observe your reactions, you will become more aware of them when they happen. they’ll grow to become uncomfortable and glaring. they will feel like they don’t fit you anymore. maybe before they were just knee-jerk, unconscious reactions, but now you will feel them take up the space in your head whenever they arrive. and because of this, you will be able to shift your awareness to what you really want your 3d to reflect. you will be able to let go of the parts of yourself you no longer wish to identify with.

“be transformed by the renewing of your mind by changing the ideas planted there, for you cannot change your thinking until you change the ideas from which your thoughts flow.” -NG

your state creates your thoughts, not the other way around. it is critical to understand this if you wish to change your dwelling state. your thoughts are not your enemies. if you constantly battle against your thoughts, without ever paying mine to your state, you will not have much success.

“accept an idea as true. identify yourself with it and it will out-picture itself in your world. but if you do not accept the thought and identify yourself with it through feeling, you are free from its results. you must become very selective and learn not to associate yourself with unlovely thoughts.” -NG

this is not to confused with the term “mental diet.” when you react negatively to something, you have two options. 1) beat the thought down and panic and tell yourself the opposite without believing it to be true, or 2) choosing not to identify with it. remind yourself that this thought is just a thought. it has no power over you, and if you don’t want it to be manifested into your reality, it will not. Neville says if you do not consent to a thought as true, it will not manifest into your world. if you don’t associate your inner being with that thought, it will not come to pass in your 3D.

“start now to consent only to lovely thoughts of fulfilled desires prior to their confirmation by your senses, and give up the animal instinct of suffering and bathing yourself in the feelings of hurt and self-pity.” -NG

ruminating in unpleasant thoughts where your desire remain unfulfilled can be comfortable, and even habitual, but at the end of the day it is a choice. a choice that you have to stop making if you truly want better for yourself. this is something I struggled with a lot at the beginning of my manifestation journey. there was some twisted pleasure and comfort found in picking at scabs in my mind, and feeling sorry for myself, and imagining what would happen if my desire was never realized in my 3d. but eventually I had to choose better for myself, and I had to choose to stop giving so much attention to mental conversations like that.

“control your imagination with steady attention and dare to stand and be heard.” -NG

YOU create the happenings of your imagination, and your imagination creates your reality. do not feel silly or foolish deciding better for yourself in your own imagination. and do not let the logical restrictions of the 3d to tell you what you can and can not give yourself in imagination. give yourself what you want in imagination and stand firm in that, even if your 3d shows the opposite. stop silencing yourself in your own imagination!

this is my thoughts and notes only on the first two chapters of “the creative use of imagination” so more may come as I continue my re-read! 🤍 just wanted to share this :)

[syrupfog]

Ahhhhh. Soulmates AU where Sanji has built his whole life around the fact that somewhere out there he has a soulmate. 

Like, it’s the only thing that kept him going, kept him moving forward. An entire childhood of being told by his siblings, by his father, that he’s unloveable—

And the only proof he has, after his mum’s gone, is that somewhere out there is someone who’s DESTINED to love him. The universe has SWORN it. 

Even when he’s getting bruised and bloodied and told he’s worthless from the siblings who have all the love of their father.

Even when he spends his days in a dungeon, the light filtering in from the high window barely visible through his iron helmet, alone and cold. 

Even when he’s slowly dying from starvation, stranded on a rock. 

The one truth Sanji knows is that he has someone who loves him.

He spends his time at the Baratie flirting with anything that moves, but is thoroughly aware underneath it all that he’s worthless. That’s been drilled into him since birth. 

If he’s able to make a woman happy for a moment, then he will, but that’s not for his own sake.

He feels confident, having had years to think on it, that there is one single person in the world who CAN love him. And Sanji feels sorry for them, because he knows he doesn’t deserve that love, but all the same he selfishly looks forward to finding them.

And then— he meets him. 

It’s everything the books — and his mum — described it as. The world bursting into colour, the feeling of RIGHTNESS slotting into place. The man (that’s surprising) has green hair and three earrings and three swords and it feels like fate. It IS fate.

And then the man — Zoro — green hair and three earrings and the only thing Sanji has ever wanted, the person he’s centred his whole life around — he tells Sanji that he doesn’t believe in soulmates. Doesn’t want the universe to be in charge of his own destiny.

And Sanji breaks. 

He— doesn’t know what to do with his life now. He joins the crew because Luffy asks, because the only thing he clings to right now is that SOMEONE wants him. But. 

Zoro doesn’t. 

His soulmate. 

The only one MEANT for him. 

And what does that say about Sanji?

He hates Zoro. HATES. 

He fights him at every chance. Wages war with words and kicks. 

He’s drowning inside. Unmoored. The knowledge that he’s entirely unloveable is a burden too great to bear. 

They sail onward and Sanji cooks and fights and cooks and fights and drowns.

Something shifts at Thriller Bark. 

Sanji’s there when Zoro attempts to sacrifice himself. And Sanji HATES him for it. He hates him because in all this time traveling together, try as he might, hate him as much as he does, Sanji’s never been able to stop loving him.

And if anyone’s going to die for this fucking crew, it’s going to be the one who’s so worthless he cant even have a soulmate who loves him back. 

He knocks Zoro out of the way, faces Kuma head on. 

The pain in his side a moment later feels like the Baratie betrayal all over again

Later, on the ship keeping vigil at Zoro’s bedside, he waits until Chopper’s gone and then weeps, face red and blotchy, ugly loud wails as he falls apart, staining the sheets with tears and snot. It should’ve been him. 

He doesn’t stop until a hand wraps around his wrist.

“Cook,” Zoro says, voice painfully rough. “Why the fuck— did you do that?” 

Sanji tries to hide his tears, replace them with that familiar anger. “What?” he asks. “Try to keep you alive?” 

“No,” says Zoro. “Fucking— sacrifice yourself.” 

Sanji frowns. “I’m the best option.”

Zoro, injured as he is, gapes at him. “You’re the cook,” he says. “We need you.” 

Sanji tries to pull his wrist from Zoro grasp. “You need a cook,” he says. “You can find another.” 

“You’re crew,” Zoro says. 

“You can FIND. ANOTHER.” Sanji grits.

“No, we CAN’T,” Zoro yells, grip tightening. 

“You already THREW ME AWAY!” Sanji screams. 

Zoro’s fingers go slack and Sanji gets up and runs from the room.

It’s another week before Zoro can leave the infirmary but when he does, Sanji finds himself cornered in the kitchen, fast enough he can’t plan an escape. 

Zoro’s face is set, serious, Sanji’s gearing up for a fight despite Zoro’s injuries. 

He storms in and pushes Sanji up against the back wall. “I was WRONG,” he says, arms bracketing Sanji in. 

“Wh— no,” Sanji squeaks, trying to find a way around him. 

“Yes I WAS,” Zoro emphasises. “Franky says I was stupid and self protective, but I lied. I’ve loved you from the moment I fucking saw you.”

“No, you DIDN’T,” Sanji says, a rushing in his ears as he looks anywhere but AT Zoro. “Because I’m UNLOVEABLE.” 

Zoro’s breath hitches, and he grabs Sanji’s chin in his hand, forcing him none too gently face to face. 

“You’re fucking not,” he snarls. “Because *I* love you.”

Sanji REALLY can’t handle this. “Stop,” he pleads. “You can’t— it’s okay. I’ve always known that I’m worthless, you don’t have to try to convince me otherwise.” You already did, he thinks. “Just— I can’t handle you lying like this. To me.”

“You’re not—“ Zoro looks at him in shock. “You’re not WORTHLESS, Cook, what the hell? And you’re not unloveable, you’re not any of that shit! I thought you’d be a distraction from my dream, that’s why I said that shit, and I’m SORRY. But I was fucking wrong.”

Sanji is still shaking his head — or he’s just plain shaking now— because it’s too late. He KNOWS this is who he is, doesn’t understand why Zoro is LYING. 

“It’s okay,” he says, making eye contact, placating. “I won’t let this — me— interfere with protecting the crew.”

Zoro growls and lunges forward, capturing Sanji’s lips in a bruising kiss. It hurts, Sanji gasps into his mouth, it— feels like truth. 

“I love you,” Zoro says, low. “Tell me how I can prove it.” 

Sanji chases the kiss before recovering. “I don’t know,” he says, small, uncertain.

Zoro grasps his arms, his waist, his neck, like a desperate man searching, he settles on cupping Sanji’s face, leaning his forehead against him. “I’ll prove it,” he says. “Something in your head is fucked up, Cook, it’s wrong. You’re loved. I fucking swear it.”

Sanji’s still shaking, tears rushing unbidden to his eyes. He doesn’t get it but — he wants it. Desperately he wants it. “Tell me again,” he says, voice small, scared. 

“I love you,” Zoro says. “I’m sorry. I love you.” 

Like a mantra. 

Sanji kisses him, afraid to initiate, but Zoro responds with a vengeance. “

I love you,” Zoro says again, like a prayer. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you.” Someday, Sanji will know it intrinsically. But for now it’s good enough to hear it. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you.”

[yea-baiyi]

ok but like imagine being hua cheng. and when you were a teenager you were trapped in a cave with your god when he got hit with sex pollen and you already felt ugly and unlovable but he stabbed himself through the gut rather than touch you and you saw him shirtless and horrifyingly that’s how you found out you were gay

and then you meet him again centuries later when you’ve grown up and become comfortable in your own skin, and you think you might be in love with him except a part of you still feels terrified that he’ll look at you and find you hideous again. but you want to trust him so you show him your real face. and. turns out he finds your adult self so hot that you make him horny for the first time in his life and he keeps doing and saying absolutely deranged things because he does not know how to cope. he panics and tries to give you, a ghost, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and while you’re lying there trying not to freak out he is beside you acting out his one man humiliation-style comedy show because he has never wanted to kiss someone before let alone fuck. he agrees to get locked in a coffin together because he never even considered the possibility that he might pop a boner except he does pop a boner and now you are stuck under him while he squirms and you are trying very hard not to think about your own boner

i don’t know how to end this post i just think that’s so funny. and they live happily ever after and have lots of gay sex. hua cheng keeps winning. slay king

[lizardboiii]

XOXO, UR DUFF♡

꒰ ft. Kuroo Tetsurō x reader x Bokuto Kōtarō, slight Oikawa Tōru x reader

synopsis: finding out Aoba Johsai High School's volleyball team refers to you as the school's duff sends you into a teenaged panic. your two childhood friends take it upon themselves to help you out. the opposite of a duff? a slut.

cw: NSFW, 18+, hurt/comfort, threesome, dom/sub undertones, dumbification, slut shaming, non-con coercion, double pentration, all characters are represented as 18/19 yrs old

wc: 2.7k

"Like any unloved thing, I don't know if I'm real when I'm not being touched." - Natalie Wee

Maybe you soared too high - beared your teeth too wide. The fall from grace was longer than the climb, allowing scotching shame to burn away any feelings you still carried. Oikawa Tōru had played you for a fool. 

Otherwise, after a week of walking you to class and buttering up your fragile heart. He wouldn't have asked you if your best friend, Emi, was single. 

Propping himself up on your desk, Oikawa’s thick hands supported the bulk of his weight. His form seemingly dripped with unease. If you listened closely enough, you could hear the sound of his sneakers shifting beneath him. 

You hated every moment of it.

The star volleyball captain had just made it clear he never had any intentions of courting you. All he saw was a gateway to Emi. An easy in.

You paused for just a moment. Thoughts of confronting the man above you ate at your skin. You wanted to scream. Rage at him. Ask him why he led you on. He could have easily asked out Emi without your assistance. Was there a reason to ask you other than to be cruel?

But you didn't. 

Instead you smiled warmly, swallowing your pride, “Ya, Emi’s single.”

Oikawa’s grin brightened, “You can put in a good word for me right? Since we're friends n’ all?”

The corner of your mouth twitched.

“Of course.”

・❥・

A kick to the front leg of your desk rattled the metal. You flinched at the noise. Body tensing, you refused to greet the offender. Finding it easier to stay hidden in your arms on top of your desk.

“What’s up with you?”

Teary eyed, you finally looked up from your crossed arms to the deep voice above you, Iwaizumi Hajime. You internally groaned at the sight of him. Iwaizumi was the last person you wanted to see right now, aside from his flamboyant captain.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, “I think Oikawa likes Emi.”

Iwaizumi huffed, “I ​​could've guessed that.”

“What?” You searched his eyes for an answer, “You knew?”

“Ya,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “Whole team does.”

Clenching your teeth, you balled your hands in frustration, “Then why did he even bother talking to me? He should've just went straight to her!”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “It's probably because you're her Duff.”

You felt the pit in your stomach drop, “Her what?”

“Ya know, her Duff. Designated Ugly Fat Friend,” he said it as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

The information hit you like a truck, “Excuse me!? I am not her “Duff”!”

Iwaizumi shifted uncomfortably, “Hate to break it to you, but…I think everyone is aware you’re Emi’s Duff other than yourself.” 

You fake laughed, “I think I'd know if people were calling me that.”

“It's not that big a deal. Just means you're more approachable,” he searched for his next words, “I mean it's easier to ask you if Emi’s single rather than face the embarrassment if not.”

Iwaizumi’s statement left you breathless, “Face the embarrassment? What about me!? Oikawa led me on for a week just to ask if Emi was single!”

He brushed you off, “It’s not like you're the only one. Girls come up to the team all the time to ask about Oikawa.”

Seething, you stood up from your chair haphazardly, “You know what? Screw you!” The screech of your chair echoed across the room, “I’m not just some thoughtless NCP you guys can use to help get laid!”

Iwaizumi frowned, “You know I didn't mean it like that.”

You didn't bother to respond, favoring to storm out of the mostly empty classroom. You’d prove to them all you could be more than just Emi’s Duff. You just needed to figure out how to first.

・❥・

“Can you believe he said that to me?!” Sitting on top of Bokuto’s bed, you straddled the pillow you were holding in anger, “I am not a Duff!”

Bokuto hummed below you, focusing more on the controller in his hand rather than what you were saying, “Didn’tcha only go on one date?”

Cackling, Kuroo bumped shoulders with Bokuto, “There wasn’t even a date. He just walked her tah’ class.”

Your face burned, “He carried my books! Who does that other than someone who cares!?”

Kuroo tilted his face back at you, resting his head on the bed, “Yer’ joking, right?”

Frowning, you swiped at Kuroo’s face with the pillow in your hands. The comb head merely caught the pancaked pillow with his dominant hand, ripping the fabric away from you. Then, he shot the pillow at your head, hard. You reacted quickly, lifting your hands up in defense. The pillow thumped pathetically against your forearms. 

Flipping him off, you tossed the pillow back at the headboard, “You always play too rough!”

A wild grin plastered itself on his face, “What? I thought girls liked it rough?”

You threw him a disgusted look, “Don’t be a freak.”

Chuckling, Kuroo’s already large smile grew impossibly wider. Clearly satisfied at your obvious discomfort.

Groaning at Kuroo’s smug smirk, you flopped backward on the bed, “It’s not fair! Emi always has a boyfriend and I’ve yet to have even one.” You emphasized the number with your finger.

Passing off the controller, Bokuto stretched his hands above his head, “Who cares? Ya don’t need a boyfriend anyways,” He pointed a thumb at himself, “You got us!”

“Says you! Both you and Ku have had girlfriends,” You flipped onto your stomach, “I feel like I'm missing out.”

Lip curled, Bokuto threw himself on top of the bed and grabbed your smaller form, “Aww, our poor sweet (y/n)!”

You wrestled against his tight bear hug, “Lemme’ go, Airhead!”

Bokuto smiled, “Never!”

Your legs intertwined as you tried to slither free from Bokuto’s relentless hold. However, the older male easily subdued you. Pushing and pulling you every which way. Eventually, Bokuto relented and slid you into his lab, wrapping his arms around your midriff. 

You huffed at his antics. It wasn't the first time Bokuto forced you into his lab - and you were sure it wasn't the last. Yet, that didn't stop the way your heart squeezed when his chest pressed up against your back. Or the way you shivered when he slotted his head into the crook of your neck.

It certainly didn't stop the way you secretly liked how Kuroo watched.

Face burning, you chewed on your lip. You were sick. Friends shouldn't be thinking this way about each other. Especially not when you have known eachother since diapers. You internally sighed. It's not like they'd be interested in you anyways. Who’d want to be with a designated Duff?

“Sometimes I wish I was more like Emi...”

The thought slipped out of your mouth without your brain's approval. Meek and mild. Your quiet voice sent the room into an abrupt silence. You had little time to curse at yourself before Kuroo’s uncontrollable laughter broke through the stillness. 

Dropping the gaming controller, Kuroo moved calculatedly. His toned body slowly crawling its way on top of the bed, joining you and Bokuto. Your breath hitched at the sight. If you didn't know any better, you thought you might be eaten alive.

Kuroo reached you at an agonizing pace. His hands moved to rest on your knees while Bokuto’s stayed on your waist, “Ya wanna’ be like Emi, huh?”

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you ignored the close proximity, “She always gets so much attention. I just wanna know what that feels like. Just once.”

Sulking, you missed the subtle glance Kuroo and Bokuto exchanged. Sly and cunning. The grip of their calloused hands tightened ever so slightly.

“Ya know why Emi keeps gettin’ so much attention?” 

Sinking back into Bokuto, you swallowed, “Because she's pretty?”

“Nope,” Kuroo’s grin widened as he slotted himself between your legs, “It’s ‘cause she’s a slut.”

Slut.

The word made your heart pang, “E-Emi’s not like that!”

Kuroo let out a scoff, “Course’ she is. You wanna be like that? A slut?”

Squirming, you tried to remove Kuroo from in between your legs. An action proving to be difficult very quickly, “No! I just don’t wanna be the school’s Duff anymore!”

Unimpressed, Kuroo’s large hands hooked under your knees and wrapped your legs around his waist. You only struggled harder. The thought of being trapped between the two large men was starting to make your head spin. 

Writhing in Bokuto’s hold, you halted when he groaned softly in your ear, “...Bo?”

“Look at that, Kitten,” Kuroo kneaded the fat of your thigh, “Already practicing.”

Bokuto buried his face deeper into your neck, nipping at the skin, “Ya wanna practice that bad, sweetheart?”

“I think she does, Bo,” Kuroo laughed cruelly, “Just look at her. Gettin’ ya hard already.”

Bokuto whined, “Can’t help it. She keeps rubbin’ that plump ass against my dick.”

On que, Bokuto’s hands shifted from your waist to your hips. His thick digits dug into your skin as he began to move your hips for you. Grinding his half hard cock into your clothed ass.

Your face was a molten red at the action, “Stop!”

“Please, sweetheart. Feels so good,” Bokuto’s words slurred as he grinded your bodies together.

You mewled, “We can’t!”

Kuroo snatched you chin, forcing your attention back on him, “Thought you were tired of bein’ the Duff?”

You could feel the beginnings of tears brimming your eyes, “I am!”

He smiled sickly sweet, “How are you gonna prove um’ wrong if ya can’t even do this?”

Swallowing thickly, your lips quivered, “I’m scared.”

Kuroo bore a mocking expression, “Sluts don’t get scared.”

Your whimper was cut off by Kuroo’s plump lips. The kiss was sloppy, desperate even. Kuroo’s tongue exploring your mouth like he owned it. Immediately, his hand found its way into your hair, tugging you further into the kiss. You cried against his mouth. Clutching at his wrist, you held on as he devoured you. 

Below you Bokuto shifted. His hand plunged its way into his sweats, pulling out his weeping cock, “Ku, lemme’ lift her up.”

Kuroo pulled away from your mouth, a string of saliva following in suit, “So impatient you owl bastard.”

You had little time to gasp for air as Bokuto���s hands replaced Kuroo’s. His hands wrapped under the pits of your knees swifty. Lifting up your legs, you gasped when his exposed cock made contact with your thin shorts. 

“Bo, wait!”

Bokuto ignored your small pleas. Sliding his cock against the fabric, he traced the shape of your pussy, “Sweetheart, you’ll lemme’ put it in, right?”

You squeaked when he tried to push up, the fabric of your shorts keeping him out, “You can’t go in raw!”

Bokuto groaned when Kuroo clutched his length, rubbing him harder against your slowly dampening shorts. You whined at the attention. Your hole clenching everytime Kuroo massaged your clit with the head of Bokuto’s cock.

Kuroo purred, “Ya feel that, Kitten? See how good yer makin’ Bo feel?

A sobbed rocked through your chest, “No.”

Clicking his tongue, Kuroo pulled at the hem of your shorts, “Still playin’ difficult, slut?”

You suddenly regretted wearing such short shorts. Kuroo managed to pull them off you in record time, only readjusting Bokuto’s hold on you once. As quickly as the shorts were off - Bokuto was on you.

The head of his cock slid against your folds with an obscene sound, “Please lemme’ put it in, sweetheart. Please, please.” You could feel his hips snap against your ass every time he slid up and down your pussy.

The cord in your stomach slowly began to pull. The feeling of his cock rubbing against your clit was almost enough to send you over the edge. You wanted more. No. You needed more.

Whimpering, your breath hitched as his cock prodded your entrance, “Bo, please!”

“Ya hear that, Bo?” You could hear the smirk on Kuroo’s face, “Slut needs a fat cock to fill ‘er up.”

Growling, Bokuto wasted no time before shoving his cock into your entrance. You cried out at the intrusion. Unprepared, your tight hole stretched painfully around his cock. It felt as if he had split you in two.

Kuroo hushed your cries, “Poor, Kitten. I’ll make it better.” His fingers made their way to your dripping pussy, circling your neglected clit.

“Ku!” You moaned at the touch. The burning sensation in your torn hole was slowly replaced by dull pleasure.

“So tight for me, Sweetheart,” Bokuto slowly pulled out before slamming back in, “So fuckin’ perfect.”

You shuddered at his words, “Too much!”

Sucking on your neck, Bokuto groaned, “Just gettin’ started.”

You flinched when Kuroo’s fingers traced down from your clit to your entrance. His caloused pointer nudged at your puffy hole.

“Look how much yer’ stretchin’ her, Bo,” He slowly added a finger to your already stuffed entrance, “Bet we can stretch it further.”

You sobbed at the invasion, “It won’t fit!”

Kuroo’s darkened eyes made you squirm, “We’ll make it fit.”

One finger soon turned into three as Kuroo worked your already sore pussy open. You wailed loudly. Finally, the feeling of fingers leaving your hole made you sign in relief. The full feeling in your stomach slightly dissipating. 

Until you felt something much larger.

Kuroo placed his hand on your waist as he lined the head of his cock against your hole. You tensed at the sight. Bokuto hissed in your ear, surprised by the sudden clench of your pussy.

“Loosen up, Sweetheart,” Bokuto kissed the crown of your head

A small mewl escaped your lips, “There's no way!”

The men above you rubbed small circles into your skin, attempting to relax your tensed muscles. You moaned at the affection. Body loosening, you shoved your face into Kuroo’s chest as he pushed in.

“There we go, Sweetheart. So good fer' us,” Bokuto hummed against the back of your neck.

The initial stretch of your walls burned intensely. Even with prep, you still felt like you’d tear up the middle.

 “So full,” you mumbled incoherently. Unable to focus on anything other than the cocks filling your already bullied hole.

“Gonna start movin’, kay?” Kuroo’s cock bottomed out before you could even respond. 

They moved opposite of eachother. Bokuto’s cock slamming deep into your pussy while Kuroo’s dragged out of your weeping hole painfully slow. It was enough to drive you insane. You moaned shamelessly, far too drunk on cock to care how slutty you looked.

“Yer’ takin’ us so well, kitten,” Kuroo bit into your neck, leaving a trail of marks, “Like you were made for this.”

You quivered under his touch, “Want more, please.”

Bokuto’s hands slithered under your shirt, “Ya already want more?” His hands moved to unclasp your bra, “Such a slut.”

You bit your lip as Bokuto found his way to your sensitive buds, “Yes, sir.”

“Sir?” Bokuto licked up your neck, “Ya hear that, Ku? She really was meant tah’ be a slut.”

You could barely comprehend Kuroo’s response. Your ears felt like they were filled with cotton as the pressure in your stomach increased. Instinctively, your hips jerked against their movements. You were so close.

“Need tah’ cum, Kitten?” Kuroo fisted your hair, “Ya gotta ask nicely.”

Hot tears streamed down your face at the unreleased pressure in your abdomen, “Please let me cum, sir. Please, I wanna cum so bad.”

Kuroo traced his tongue up your cheek, savoring the salty taste, “Whaddya’ think, Bo? Should the slut be allowed to cum?”

Bokuto traced his fingers from your breast to your clit, “Maybe just this once.”

The chord in your stomach snapped as soon as you were granted permission. Head thrown back, a porn star moan fell from your lips. Your vision went white with pleasure. Long and intense, you trembled in Bokuto’s hold. 

Your chest heaved as your legs gave out, yet Kuroo and Bokuto remained relentless. Continuing their abuse on your sloppy pussy, they pushed you further over the edge.

You whined in overstimulation, “No more.”

“Oh, Sweetheart,” Bokuto ran his fingers through your hair, “We ain't done yet.”

Your eyes widened, “W-what?”

Kuroo smirked, “We haven't cum yet, Slut.”

・❥・

[longagoitwastuesday]

I think Kline's Cyrano was often too funny in emotionally charged scenes, yes, but I adored how he was particularly vicious, rurthless and violent at times when crossed. The mix of being fun yet terrible worked so well. The way Cyrano says, smiling, the "Even if you possessed the words and wit / I'd never let you get away with it" line encompassed that perfectly.

[thenickgirl]

BSF!Nick HeadCanons

nick x fem!reader

disclaimer: this is all fictional, and based on my own conclusions.

warnings: kinda long, very very self-indulgent, pure fluff, swearing.

Nick as your best friend:

⚤ he loves to spend time with you, always asking you to come over and keep him company.

⚤ the two of you are so close and so comfortable with each other that you tell each other everything, the good, bad, and the ugly.

⚤ he’s protective, not overly, but you always know that you’re safe with him. he’s not letting any hate get to you, and if it does he’s always there to comfort you. he doesn’t hesitate to put haters in their place when it comes to you, not caring about any backlash it could cause him.

⚤ you both send tik toks and instagram reels back and forth all day long.

⚤ you share locations with each other, and anytime he checks and sees that you’re somewhere he doesn’t recognize he’s calling you immediately:

“bitch! where the fuck are you???”

“nick, are you fr checking my location again?”

“yes, now take your fast ass home”

⚤ when you’re sick, he’ll come over and help take care of you. attempting (failing) to make you soup, but then decides to just order in from panera. he’ll cuddle up with you while you watch movies or some reality tv show.

⚤ he’s always teasing and making fun of you, you both playfully argue so much that people on the outside think you actually hate each other.

⚤ you’re on the phone with each other for literal hours, whether it’s texting, on a call, or on FaceTime.

⚤ if you’re in college, he’ll make sure you stay on top of your studies. he’ll never let you put off schoolwork just to go hang out with him:

“nick come onnn, i can study when i get back, it’s fine i promise”

“un uhh, nope! you’re not gonna blame me when your ass fails”

“but ni-“

“GO STUDY Y/N”

⚤ he loves when you go shopping or thrifting together. he’ll pick out outfits for you to try, and you do the same for him. the both of you hyping each other up when you come out of the dressing rooms.

“yesss girl, you look so amazing in that dress!”

“says you, i love that shirt on you, it’s definitely your color!”

⚤ he’s a big foodie, and so are you. so breakfast and/or lunch dates are a staple in your friendship. he loves going to your favorite restaurant or cafe to just sit and talk about whatever and whoever. sometimes you like to try out new places and add them to your list.

⚤ he’ll send you flowers or candy on valentine’s day because he’s such a sweetheart, and never wants you to feel alone or unloved.

⚤ he’s always gassing you. he never hesitates to call you pretty or gorgeous, saying how much he loves your outfit, your hair, or your new bag. he’s your number one hype man for sure. you of course, are the same way with him never passing up an opportunity to let him know he’s so handsome and the baddest bitch.

⚤ you’re pretty much the ceo of the nick defense team, always on go when it comes to people being disrespectful towards him.

⚤ he’s basically your personal photographer. he loves taking your pictures for you, and you love to brag about his skills. he loves when you take pictures together as well, adding them to his photo dumps, giving very much bff goals.

⚤ since he doesn’t drive he loves riding with you, he even bought a “passenger princess” sticker to put on your glovebox just for shits and giggles. sometimes you guys would just spend the day riding out, blasting music and singing along, snacking on the random goodies you pick up along the way, just simply enjoying each others company.

“bitches be quick but i’m quicker”

“bitches be thick but i’m thicker”

*both*

“SHE COULD BE RICH BUT IM RICHER!”

⚤ if you’re in a relationship or get into one, he’ll be very protective over you, yet respectful of your relationship. he’ll make friends with them, and try his best to get along for the sake of your friendship. he’ll even plan group outings so you all can hang out together and get to know each other.

⚤ however, the second you call him in the night crying, he’s ubering over to your house to comfort you. he’ll hug you and wipe your tears, reassuring you that you deserve so much better than them.

“you’re amazing and i love you so much, y/n. you didn’t deserve that, and if you want, we can go egg their car right now”

“you get the eggs, i’ll start the car”

“BET!”

⚤ he doesn’t believe in fighting with friends. any arguments between the two of you wouldn’t last very long, you’ll always end up talking things out and laughing about it later.

⚤ he loves to include in the videos, especially any challenges they do like the baking videos. you always get front seat if you’re ever in the car videos, and he makes sure you get to speak.

⚤ he absolutely loves the bond you have with his brothers, and you would tease him about liking one of them solely to get on his nerves:

“matt has been looking really good lately..”

“y/n i swear to god…”

“what?? i’m just being real”

“i’ll actually kill you both”

“bitch, shutttt up! you love me too much”

“you’re right. now stop talking about matt before i throw the fuck up”

⚤ if the stars happen to align where you and one of his brothers fall in love and actually get together, he’ll be so annoyed at first, not willing to share you. eventually he’ll be okay with it, just happy that you both are happy, as long as you keep the pda out of his line of sight.

⚤ he fucking loves your cooking. he knows better than get in your way by trying to help so he’ll sit at the table and watch you. you don’t mind his company at all while you’re cooking, even letting him taste test which he never refuses. he’s constantly calling or texting to see what’s on your menu:

“please please PLEASE tell me you’re cooking tonight. i cannot eat in n out again”

“well, i guess i am now”

⚤ you always have him, matt, and chris over on Sunday’s. you love giving them the ultimate sunday dinner experience. you make sure you cook more than enough so they have some to take home as well.

⚤ any time one of you sees those cute and fun best friend date activities on tik tok or instagram, you’re instantly texting it to one another, making plans to try it out.

⚤ when you take him out to the club or a just night out with the girlies, he’s having the time of his life. he’s hyping you up while you’re dancing and throwing it in a circle. he’ll capture every second to show to you later cause you’re so gone you won’t remember a thing. the next day he’s asking you to teach him how to twerk like that for the next outing.

⚤ since you have similar music taste, you love going to concerts and festivals together. all in coachella with your matching crop tops and boots, turning heads left and right. you two are literally glued to the hip the whole weekend, holding hands and jumping around, dancing to the beat just loving the experience.

⚤ he absolutely loves sleepovers, and he’ll always be the one to suggest them. he’ll have a space for you in his closet and at his sink because of how often you stay over.

“bro is there a reason you called me 15 times??”

“uh is this the body scrub that you use? i’m gonna get it for my bathroom so you don’t have to keep bringing yours every time”

“nick, you really could’ve just tex-“

“YES OR NO??!”

⚤ whenever you sleep over, you always do your nighttime and morning skin routines together. ‘faerie soirée’ playing softly on the portable speaker while you go through your skincare steps, singing along, and swaying your hips to the beat.

⚤ he is obsessed with the different ways you style your hair. his jaw drops every time you pull up with something new. he was completely gobsmacked when you showed up with a 30 inch bust down after just rocking your natural fro, then two weeks later in some knotless braids down to your knees. he’s always asking your opinion on his next hair color, but you beg him to keep his natural hair for a while longer.

⚤ he always waits to get his nails done with you so you both can match. in the days before your appointments with analysse, he’s sending you different ideas he sees on pinterest for you both to choose from only to ultimately decide to just let analysse freestyle.

⚤ when it comes to his brand, space camp, he’s always giving you the sneak peeks. he’ll let you be the first one to try the newest flavor because he trusts your judgment, and knows that you’ll always be honest with him:

“okay, what about this one? did you like it?”

“friend, i ain’t gone hold you…that shit nasty as fuck”

“well damn bitch, tell me how you really feel. okay, we’ll scrap that one”

⚤ he loves when you come to boston with him to visit his family. mary lou and jimmy absolutely adore you, and so does all his hometown friends nate, mckayla, and chloe.

⚤ the snap streaks between you two go crazy. you’re both constantly snapping each other the most random shit.

⚤ he’s always telling you about the guys he’s crushing on or talking to. he’ll ask you if you think they’re cute or not, and wants advice on what to say to them. if they send him nudes, better believe he’s immediately sending them to you for you both to talk (or laugh) about:

“girl you won’t believe what he just sent me”

“ouuu how big is it?”

“bitch, i’ve seen baby carrots bigger than that”

“BLOCKED!”

⚤ on halloween, you guys love to find matching costumes (when he’s not matching with matt and chris) and sometimes the four of you would find costumes to match together.

⚤ on your birthday, don’t be surprised to find yourself plastered all over his story. he’s posting a photo dump of you together with a lil paragraph, going on and on about how amazing his best friend is. you’ll have gifts galore from him, matt, and chris.

⚤ he’s super supportive of whatever you do, helping you in any way you can to achieve whatever it is you need to.

⚤ he’s the perfect best friend and he takes the bond that you have very seriously, never letting anyone or anything jeopardize it.

🏷️: @muwapsturniolo @mattslolita @guccifrog @luverboychris @freshloveforthefit @matty-bear @sturniolossss @imsosillygoofylol @nickgetsmewetter @mybelovednick @moonk1ss3d @ghostking4m @certifiednatelover @meg-sturniolo