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kissinginkitchens · 3 years

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You Bring Me Home—Chapter Ten: When it Rains

a/n: hi besties!! This one is... tough I’m ngl to y’all. It is the second to the last chapter which is so wild to think about, but alas all good things must come to an end. Hopefully you don’t hate me too much by the end of it but feel free to vent in my inbox :))) much love, Mel <3

Pairing: Hawai’i!Harry x Original Character (Halani <3)

Warnings: swearing, some suggestive humor, ANGST (!!)

Word Count: 7.4 k

catch up on parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine

“Is that my shirt?”

“No,”

Alani squints at the cartoon bee printed on Harry’s white t-shirt and crosses her arms in disbelief.

“Yes it is! I’ve been looking for it everywhere,”

“Don’t worry, you can have it back soon,” he admits, crawling back into his bed with an apologetic kiss to her pouting lips. “Doesn’t smell like you anymore,”

“Thief,”

Harry scoffs and props himself up on an elbow. “Don’t act like my Spice World jumper isn’t hanging at the foot of your bed right now,”

“You left it there,” Alani defends. “I was merely being kind and looking after said hoodie because it was abandoned by its owner,”

“Oh yeah and you’ve fought real hard to reunite us,”

“Can we get back to the main issue at hand? Which is that I’m kinda pissed off that you look better in that shirt than I do.”

Harry chuckles to himself and presses an affectionate kiss to her temple. “You’re too kind.”

Alani rests her cheek against his chest and listens to the rain pattering harshly against the window, admiring the flashes of lightning that illuminate the dimly lit room. Harry had convinced her to stay the night, worried about her driving home alone in the storm, and he was met with very little resistance. Secretly, he thanks the rain gods for allowing him another night to hold her close.

********

“H, you gotta tell her,” Jeff had warned the previous night. “I already pushed the flight back a week—”

“I know,” Harry huffed. “I just need a little more time.”

Jeff sighed, rubbing his tired eyes with the heels of his hands. “You have until this weekend when we go away with the girls. One week in Maui, and then it’s back home. I’m sorry.”

********

Harry’s stomach turns remembering the conversation, but he decides to push all the nagging thoughts to the back of his mind and focus on the present.

“You all packed?” he asks, trailing his fingers up and down her arm.

Alani drapes her leg over his hip and nods. “Been packed since last week.”

She had been ecstatic the day after Mila and Chad’s wedding when Harry invited her to tag along on the couple’s trip with Jeff, Tom, and their significant others. His eagerness to include her in his friend group was not only reassuring, but exciting. It felt like their lives were coming together, even more so after she had introduced him to her parents. They, of course, had adored him and quickly given their seal of approval. While Alani knew that it was ultimately her choice, it still felt good to have support from the most important people in her life, and she hoped to win his friends over just as easily. Harry, on the other hand, had no doubts that she would fit right into his chosen family. Her name had been cautiously dropped during a weekly FaceTime call with his mother and sister, and he was overjoyed when they enthusiastically grilled him for details.

What Harry was less sure of, however, was how Alani would react upon hearing that his vacation was up and that he would be headed back to L.A. in a week’s time. It was still early in their relationship and an indeterminate break seemed less than ideal. He had tried to convince both Jeff and the label that he could finish the album in Hawaii, but the same couldn’t be said for Jeff Bhasker, Mitch, Tom, and his new bassist, Adam, who all had families waiting for them back on the mainland. It was too risky personally and financially, so Harry reluctantly negotiated one last week to persuade Alani that a long-distance relationship wouldn’t be a death sentence.

“What d’you wanna watch?” he asks, sitting up against the headboard to turn on the T.V.

Alani sighs and settles deeper into his side. “When Harry Met Sally,”

“But it’s not Christmas or New Year’s,”

“So?”

“So,” Harry explains. “We have to wait ‘til the holidays, wouldn’t be right otherwise,”

Alani scoffs and peers up at him with a judgemental look. “So I guess Serendipity is also out of the question?”

“We’ll have all Christmas to get through that list, darlin’,”

Her stomach flips at his suggestion of their future holiday plans. Privately, she had wondered about such things, as well, including what gifts she might get him or where they would spend the holidays. Though still months away, it suddenly felt within reach.

“Fine,” Alani softens. “The Notebook,”

“And let you drool over what’s-his-face?” Harry pokes. “No fuckin’ way,”

Alani pinches his side and sits up. “Would you stop being insecure about that? I’ve already told you I was just kidding that time,”

“Yeah well, it still stings,”

“Why don’t you tell me your celebrity crush? You know, so I can be totally fine about it because it doesn’t mean anything,”

Harry shrugs, the corners of his lips turning into a playful smirk. “Don’t have one,”

“Liar,”

“M’serious,”

“Why, because you’ve already dated them?”

“Hey,” Harry pouts. “That was a bit snippy,”

Alani’s muscles tighten. She hadn’t realized that his dating history was a sore spot, but she takes a deep breath and plants a sweet kiss to his jaw as an offering of peace. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,”

“S’alright. Truce?”

“Deal,”

“Jennifer Aniston,”

“Huh?”

“My celebrity crush,” Harry explains shyly. “When I was younger,”

Alani giggles lightly. “I see. Good taste, she’s hot,”

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna leave me for her too,”

“I just might,”

“Can’t say that I blame you,”

“Look I know this is a cute little bit we do,” Alani sits up, her gaze dead-set on Harry’s to communicate the seriousness behind her words. “But I just want you to know that I feel so lucky to be with you. I’m not going anywhere any time soon,”

Harry swallows harshly. It was everything he’d ever wanted to hear and it kills him that he can’t return the sentiment with full honesty. A little less than a week is all he has to prove that even though he physically has to go, his heart will remain wherever Alani is. “Me either,”

Another round of thunder booms outside and the lights fizzle out, leaving the room completely dark save for the intermittent flashes of lightning that gently illuminate the room.

“So much for watching a movie, huh?” Alani sighs.

“I think I know some other ways we can keep ourselves entertained.”

********

Harry sets a steaming cup of tea down onto the table in front of Alani and she looks up from her tube of nail polish curiously. Harry flashes a dimpled grin in her direction and whistles a familiar tune, one that she had heard in the studio when he was busy doing his Bob Dylan impression.

“What’re you singing?”

“Hm?”

“The song,” she clarifies. “You were singing it the other day, what is it?”

Harry serves her plate of hash browns and shrugs. “Dunno, just a little tune ‘ve been workin’ on,”

“It’s nice,”

“Thanks, sweets,” he offers, setting her food down and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Hey Alani,” Jeff interrupts, stepping into the kitchen with his cellphone pressed to his shoulder.

“Glenne wants to know if you’re okay with her setting up a spa thing for you guys,”

"Yeah, definitely,” Alani perks up.

“Cool, thanks.”

“Look at you,” Harry teases, taking a bite of his toast coated in strawberry jam. “Minglin’ with the girls,”

“They’re not even here yet,”

He scans over her appearance and his brows furrow, hit with the sudden realization that she’s dressed in formal attire.

“What’s with the fancy outfit”

“I have a meeting, remember?”

“With?”

Alani blows on her freshly painted nails and holds up her other hand for Harry to do the same.

“My senior advisor. We’re going over my research project,”

Harry’s brows raise. “Smarty-pants,”

Alani had scheduled her meeting with Dr. Hudson months ago and had, truthfully, forgotten all about it until she had received a courtesy email the day prior. She had been working on her proposal in the spare minutes she had away from Harry, which were few and far between, but she knew the initial meeting would be much more casual. Alani checks the time on her phone and stands quickly when she realizes that she is supposed to meet Dr. Hudson in less than thirty-minutes.

“Gotta go,” she offers, shoveling potatoes into her mouth and grabbing her bag.

Harry ceases blowing on her nails and kisses the back of her hand before sticking out his lips for a kiss of his own. “Good luck, darlin’. Meet me at the studio after?”

“Sure thing, sunshine. See you later.”

********

“How did the Joni Mitchell piece go? You never told me,” Dr. Hudson questions, taking a sip of her coffee.

Alani offers a shy smile and toys with the hem of her skirt. “A flop,”

“Just one more closer to the winner,”

“Yeah,” Alani sighs, stirring her smoothie. “Maybe it’s time to move on from that,”

The professor shoots her a disapproving look and sets her drink down. “Alani—”

“I just think maybe there’s more realistic—”

“You are not giving up,” Dr. Hudson reassures her. “You’ve come too far and you’re a terrific writer. One of the best I’ve ever had the pleasure of teaching. These things take time,”

Alani nods gently, her lips pursed in a tight smile. “Thank you, that really means a lot,”

“What are you working on right now?”

Absolutely nothing, Alani thinks, but then she remembers the half-written article about Harry sitting in her files.

“A short piece about… a local musician,”

Dr. Hudson’s brows raise, intrigued, and she nods. “That sounds interesting. Definitely more personal,”

You have no idea. “Thanks. I mean, it’s not really anything—”

“I’d love to read it when you’re finished,” the professor continues. “What’s the scope?”

Alani thinks, trying not to give too much incriminating detail about her subject or their relationship.

“Well,” she starts, hesitant. “He’s writing new music and working on his first album. I guess I kind of want to follow his journey and redefinition of success in the music industry,”

Dr. Hudson hums. “I love it. Send me a draft.”

Alani swallows and takes a minute to consider the offer. Surely there couldn’t be anything wrong about sharing her work privately with her advisor. She had been so excited about the potential of the article when it was first started, but it had since been neglected like so many of her other rejected pieces. Starting again seemed exciting, and she knew that Harry would be pleased to play such an important role in making her dreams come true. That had, after all, been the initial terms of their agreement.

“Okay,” Alani accepts. “I will.”

********

Harry draws out the last note and Mitch lets the chord ring between them for a moment.

“I think that’s the one,”

“Yeah, I liked that progression better,”

“Hope you got that, Bhasker,” Mitch calls to Jeff in the sound booth, who gives a thumbs up in response.

Harry continues humming, his head still bobbing to the tune, when he hears the studio door creak unpleasantly. His eyes shoot up to find Alani wincing and timidly stepping into the room.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,”

He softens and beckons her over. “Never an interruption, sweets,”

Alani slots herself between his legs and wraps her arms around his neck, giving a gentle peck to the tip of his nose before pressing their lips together.

“How’s the weather?”

“Just got a lot sunnier,”

“Meeting go well?”

She nods and twists a lock of his chestnut hair between her fingers. “Yeah, actually,”

“Then we should celebrate!” Harry perks up, peppering a kiss to her cheek. “Dinner, wine, movie, the whole shebang,”

Alani frowns, thinking back to the article she promised Dr. Hudson. “Hmmm, raincheck?”

Her boyfriend deflates. “You’re ditching me?”

“Just for one night,” she explains, pulling him closer. “I wanna finish up some school stuff before our trip. Otherwise I won’t be able to give you my full attention,”

Harry pouts, but he nods understandingly. “‘Kay,”

“I’m sorry, sunshine. I’ll miss you tons,”

“Ditto, sweets,”

Alani presses her forehead against his and her fingertips wander through the growing curls at the nape of his neck. “Please don’t be upset,”

Harry smiles warmly and smoothes his hands up and down her back. “Never, m’love. Could never be upset with you,”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he nods, planting a sweet kiss to her lips. “Hey, I wanna play you somethin’,”

Alani grins and pulls back a bit to read his expression. “Let’s hear it,”

Harry grabs the guitar next to him and slings it over his shoulder before adjusting the capo. The song starts sweet and gentle, his voice light to match the tune.

And oh we started

Two hearts in one home

It’s hard when we argue

We’re both stubborn I know, but oh

Sweet creature, sweet creature

Wherever I go, you bring me home

Sweet creature, sweet creature

When I run out of road, you bring me home

Alani watches in awe as he pours so much emotion behind every word, his vocals effortlessly powerful and rich. She claps when the song finishes and leans in for a kiss.

“I love it,”

“S’not finished yet,” Harry shrugs, still fiddling with the strings. “Just the chorus right now,”

“Will you teach it to me?”

His brows raise in surprise. “You play?”

“No,” Alani admits. “But I have a feeling you’re a good teacher,”

“Well, let’s see what you got,”

Alani turns and Harry props the guitar in her lap, his arms wrapping around her as he guides her into the right position. His left hand demonstrates the beginning chord and she replaces his fingers on the fretboard to try for herself. She strums and the beginning note resonates in near-perfect pitch.

“Hey,” Harry beams. “You’re a regular Hendrix,”

He continues positioning her fingers over the right spaces and letting her strum, humming the lyrics softly into the shell of her ear.

“We don’t argue that much,” Alani defends playfully.

Harry chuckles and kisses her temple. “Maybe not, but we’re really good at makin’ up.”

“Easy, Styles.”

********

Harry: Hungry?

Alani peels her eyes away from the computer screen and reads the message lighting up her phone.

Alani: Not really

Harry: …

Harry: oh

She laughs and pads over to the window. Sure enough, Harry holds up two bags and flashes a cheesy grin down below.

“Need a study break?”

“I’ll meet you at the door.”

Harry makes himself comfortable in the middle of her bed and unpacks the bags.

“I’ve got a California and a spicy tuna for my favorite girl,” he announces. “With a side of eel sauce,”

“And the world's best boyfriend goes to Mr. Harry Styles,” Alani grins, taking a seat next to him.

He smirks and pulls out his own order of miso soup and sushi. “How’s the homework comin’ along?”

“Not too shabby,”

“Glad to hear it,”

“Hey, what time do I meet you at the airport tomorrow?” she asks, dipping her roll in the sauce.

Harry freezes and turns to her with confusion written all over his face. “I’m sorry, did my girlfriend just insinuate that we’re not leaving for the airport together?”

“I really need to finish this,” Alani explains. “It’s almost there,”

“Two nights?” he complains.

Alani nudges him with her shoulder and shakes her head. “We’re gonna be spending an entire week together, non-stop. You’re gonna get sick of me,”

“Never,” Harry rebuts. “Not possible,”

“Just one more night,” Alani bargains. “Then I’m all yours, no interruptions.”

He nods and takes a sip of his soup. “Alright, deal.”

You have to tell her, Jeff’s voice rings in his mind.

********

The airline stewardess ushers Harry and Alani to their seats while Scott and Miles settle down a few rows behind. She didn’t know exactly what to expect from first-class, but suddenly the perks of having a famous boyfriend increased tenfold by the sight of their luxurious accommodations.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Alani asks while Harry hovers over his chair.

“Sitting, or I was about to,”

“And you’re not even gonna offer rock-paper-scissors for the window seat?”

Harry shakes his head with an amused chuckle. “No because I already know that you’re gonna get up to pee every five minutes,”

“Not true,”

“It is too true and it’s exactly why we can’t cuddle while we fall asleep,”

“Or maybe the reason is because I’m claustrophobic and I just don’t wanna hurt your feelings,”

Harry frowns. “Really?”

“No,” Alani admits, taking the aisle seat. “I just said that so you’d give me the window,”

“Get up, we’re switching,”

“Thank you, sunshine! You’re the best,”

Harry slumps into his new chair and crosses his arms. “Forty-five minutes and we’re already fighting like an old married couple,”

“Oh really?” Alani smirks. “Is that what old married couples argue about? Who gets the window seat?”

“And leaving the toilet seat up, going antique shopping—”

“—What old married couples have you been hanging out with—?”

“—Picking up the kids from school,”

Alani presses a kiss to his shoulder and rests her head in the crook of his neck. Her eyelids are still heavy from staying up the night before, but her article was completely finished and sent off to Dr. Hudson just like she’d promised. Now, she could enjoy her vacation free of any worry or obligation, completely focused on the perfect boy still rambling next to her.

“But, obviously I mean that doesn’t count, right?” Harry asks, craning his neck and smiling softly when he sees that his girlfriend has already dozed off. He kisses the top of her head gently and lets his own eyes flutter close with a deep, contented breath.

********

“And then I’ll have to repaint it, but I haven’t decided on a color yet,” Glenne explains to Alani as they stroll through the airport.

Alani hums. “It was your grandmother’s?”

“Well, it was somebody’s grandmother’s. We picked it up at this little antique shop in Santa Monica.”

Jeff escorts Glenne into the shuttle car while Harry and Alani share a knowing look and stifle their laughter. They shuffle into the back seats as Tom and his wife, Jenny, claim the middle row.

“So you’re a journalist?” Jenny asks, turning in her seat eagerly to face Alani.

“Not quite,” she explains with a polite smile. “Still a student, but hopefully someday,”

Jenny nods and twirls the ring around her finger. “Sounds exciting. Maybe you can hitch a ride on tour with this one and do some writing there.”

“Yeah,” Alani smiles, settling further into Harry’s side. “Maybe.”

The idea of traveling the world with Harry and being a part of the excitement of touring the album was something she had considered briefly, but hadn’t allowed herself to fully indulge until this moment. It was already thrilling to see him polish the songs he had begun during his trip, but she could only imagine how much more special it would be to see him perform them for the rest of the world. A twinge of jealousy sparks at the thought of having to share any part of him with the public, but Alani knows that his gifts are much too special to keep all for herself. Harry was golden and he deserved to shine in all of his radiant glory. That was exactly what she had penned in her article, and she said it not because he was her boyfriend and there were clear personal investments, but because she knew it was true even before he had shown any romantic interest in her.

“What’s tour like?” Alani pipes up as Harry watches the landscape out his window.

He considers it for a moment and clears his throat. “Fun, mostly. Can be tiring,”

“Lots of partying and adoring fans?”

“No,” he chuckles to himself. “Not so much the partying. Enthusiastic fans, sure,”

Alani narrows her eyes. “No partying?”

“Nope,” Harry reiterates. “Don’t really like to do all that stuff when I’m working. Also just didn’t wanna…”

He trails off and Alani waits a beat to see if he’ll continue. “Didn’t wanna?”

“Fuck it up,” he finishes. “You know, like, be the one who ruined a good thing for a little bit of fun.”

She lets his words settle in, rubbing a reassuring circle on the back of his hand. “Makes sense. Sounds really responsible of you to do that.”

Harry presses a soft kiss to her temple and resumes his study of the scenery. They chat amongst their friends for the remainder of the drive and Alani immediately presses Glenne and Jenny for information about her boyfriend in his younger years. They indulge her inquiries and ask their own questions, deciding privately after a few minutes that her and Harry are a good fit.

When the group arrives at the resort, Glenne takes charge and instructs them all to meet at the lobby for lunch in twenty minutes. They collect their keys and head up to their respective rooms, which are all located on the very top floor.

“What a view,” Alani muses as she takes in the sight from their private balcony.

Harry admires the wonder on her face and nods, his eyes not leaving her side profile. “You’re tellin’ me,”

“Let’s never go home,” she poses, arms snaking around his torso. “Let’s stay here forever, just me and you,”

His throat tightens as he thinks back to the inevitable conversation waiting for them. Harry didn’t know why it was so hard to think about leaving because he had every intention of keeping touch and making their relationship work at all costs. But there was a part of him, a very tiny recess in the back of his mind, that feared the possibility of Alani not feeling the same.

“Yeah,” he agrees with a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose. “Whatever you want, sweets,”

Alani senses a shift in his demeanor, but she can’t read it. “You okay?”

“Never better,” Harry swallows, mustering up a small smile. “But I am hungry,”

She isn’t entirely convinced that there isn’t something bothering him, but she decides not to push it and tightens her grip around his waist, instead.

“Race you to the lobby.”

“You’re on.”

********

“You’ve never seen Finding Nemo?”

“Was I s’posed to?”

“My god,” Alani marvels. “You know, I’m starting to believe those rumors that you were grown in a lab,”

Harry’s brow raises and he blinks. “That I was what?”

The restaurant that Glenne and Jeff chose features an aquarium tunnel at the entrance, much to both Harry and Alani’s excitement. Fish, large and small, swim around them and the pair take turns pointing out their favorite colorful species. The Hull’s snap photos for their four year-old daughter, but Jenny also secretly captures one of Harry and Alani with their hands clasped under the mesmerizing blue lighting as a keepsake for her friend.

“Add Finding Nemo to our movie list,” Alani says, admiring a clownfish that swims close to the glass.

“S’it gonna make me cry?”

“Probably,”

“Goddamnit,”

Alani giggles softly and turns her head away from the glass to silently observe Harry under the lighting of the rippling water. The combination of his serene features and the sound of Billie Holiday’s I’ll Be Seeing You over the sound system creates a perfect image in her mind, one that makes her afraid to blink, lest it be gone forever. Harry glances over at her through the corner of his eye and his lips curl.

“Checkin’ me out?”

“Always,”

“Like whatcha see?”

“Love it.”

His heart nearly stops at her words, but before he has a chance to process their implication, the hostess calls on their group.

“And I’ll have the piña colada,” Harry orders once they're seated.

“Oh my god, H,” Glenne laughs from across the table. “That reminds me, remember your birthday last year when James got trashed and hoarded the karaoke machine for, like, two hours?”

“Ruined that song forever,” Jeff quips, reliving the memory of the Late-Late host drunkenly serenading the entire party with the same song on repeat.

Harry cringes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I try not to,”

Alani watches as they reminisce on the event, adding their own details and pieces to the puzzle. It’s amusing to watch, but a small part of her also has to fight the pang of exclusion settling into the pit of her stomach. She feels guilty for being affected by it knowing, logically, that it isn’t intentional or malicious in any way. Still, Alani is painfully reminded of the vast differences between their worlds. Harry had gotten to know practically every part of her life, including her family, but there was still so much that she didn’t know about his. It was something she worked hard not to dwell on, given the novelty of their relationship, but she also worried that fear and insecurity would prevent her from investing what little of her heart Harry hadn’t claimed yet.

“Who was it that started dancing on a table and almost broke a chandelier?” Tom asks, wracking his brain.

“I think it was Ken—” Jeff hesitates, clearing his throat. “Actually, I don’t remember,”

Harry shifts in his seat beside Alani and reads over the menu, quickly changing the subject. “What’re you gonna get?”

“I don’t know,” Alani admits. “Everything looks so good,”

“Oh look,” Jenny pipes up across from Harry. “They’ve got your fav, the mango sorbet. I wonder if it’s as good as the one in Italy,”

Harry beams and reads over the item. “Oh yeah, that was amazin’,”

Alani files the detail to the back of her mind. She hadn’t known mango was his favorite flavor of anything, and while it was a trivial detail, she realized that there were so still many little details about him that she wanted to know. Harry had made such an effort to remember everything about her, like her go-to sushi order and the fact that she always saved the kiwis for last in her fruit salad, so it made her feel a touch guilty that she hadn’t made the same effort.

“Wanna share the coconut shrimp?” Alani asks with a gentle nudge to his shoulder.

“Oh, uh—”

“He’s allergic,” Glenne says offhandedly, not cold or condescending, but more in the same way that an older sister would.

“Oh my god,” Alani’s eyes widen. “I’m so sorry,”

Harry laughs lightly and shrugs. “S’okay, I’d let you poison me,”

“I didn’t mean to be rude,” Glenne apologizes, reaching her hand out to Alani. “I thought you knew.”

Alani accepts the hand and waves away her concern. “No, don’t worry about it. I didn’t know, actually.”

“We can stop talking about my defects now,” Harry teases. “‘M not dyin’,”

He leans in closer to Alani and presses a kiss to her temple. “But if I was, it’d be an honor to have my last meal with you.”

She responds with a soft smile before returning her attention back to the menu. His sentiments, however sweet, unfortunately did very little to soothe the embarrassment of her mini faux pas. It was irrational, Alani knew this, but it made her wonder what else she didn’t know and what bigger secrets he was potentially keeping. Whose name had Jeff meant to say earlier to identify the mystery dancer at Harry’s party, and why had it created an awkward shift in the air? She decides not to let the spiraling questions spoil her fun and takes a generous sip of her cocktail to avoid them for the time being.

********

Harry sets the room key on the nightstand next to their king sized bed and lets himself sink down into the soft mattress. The group had spent the entire day sightseeing, from botanical gardens to scenic beaches, but he was really itching for some quality time alone with Alani. Lately, their time together had been cut frustratingly short by work, school, and life in general. Even when they were seated right next to each other with arms linked or fingers interlocked, she felt far away and he didn’t know why. He hoped that this trip would allow them time to reconnect and solidify their relationship before he had to return to California.

“Mini bar,” Alani comments, kicking her shoes off and wandering over to the small refrigerator in their suite. “Who’s paying again?”

“The label,”

“Thank you Columbia Records,”

She swipes a few bottles of tequila before climbing into the bed next to Harry.

“Wanna play a game?”

Harry props himself up on his elbow and nods. “What kinda game?”

“Never have I ever,” Alani explains. “But instead of putting your finger down, you take a shot,”

“Sounds dangerous,”

“It’ll be fun. You can go first if you want,”

He hums and nods in agreement before sitting up to face her. “‘Kay. Never have I ever...named my car after a musician,”

“Cheap shot,” Alani narrows her eyes, taking a sip from the bottle of Jose Cuervo.

“Your turn,”

She fiddles with the bottle cap, a question already in mind, though she isn’t sure if she should ask it.

“Never have I ever… dated a model,”

Harry’s brow furrows, but he opens his own bottle slowly and takes a sip. “So it’s that kind of never have I ever,”

“Just trying to keep it interesting,” Alani shrugs innocently.

“Right. Never have I ever slept with a guy named David,”

Her eyes widen, but she laughs half-heartedly and takes a sip. “Jeez, okay. Never have I ever—”

“Wait, so you two actually…” Harry interrupts, trailing off at the end.

“I mean,” Alani starts, her eyes wandering to the ceiling. “Yeah, a long time ago,”

“How long ago?”

“Okay, maybe this was a mistake—”

Harry shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll play nice,”

“Alright,” Alani accepts. She knows that she should probably steer the game back onto safer territory, but the wound has been re-opened and she can’t resist the urge to keep picking at it. “Never have I ever slept with a fan,”

Harry takes a slow sip. “Never have I ever cheated on my partner,”

The bottle stays put in Alani’s hand. “Never had I ever gone on a vacation with my partner before this trip,”

The tequila washes over his tongue bitterly like the faint memories that it symbolizes. “Never have I ever dated someone just for the publicity,”

The bottle in Alani’s hand doesn’t move, much to Harry’s relief, but her mind is not as tranquil.

“Never have I ever told someone I loved them when I didn’t,” she says slowly.

Harry takes another shot and it burns all the way down. “Why are we doin’ this?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t wanna play anymore,”

“Alani,” he starts, springing to his feet when she leaves the bed. “Hey, look at me, please,”

She blinks back the tears that threaten to spill over her lower lashes before turning to him. “I’m sorry, that was a stupid game,”

“S’just all out of context,” Harry offers, reaching for her hands. “Wasn’t the right way to have all of those conversations,”

Alani takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, you’re right,”

“What’s really botherin’ you, hm sweets?” He coos, bringing her cold knuckles to his warm lips. “Tell me, please?”

She releases a shaky breath and tries to sift through the fog in her brain for the right answer.

“I don’t know, really, I just,” Alani hesitates. “Am I a bad girlfriend?”

“No,” Harry says quickly, his hands lifting to cup her face. “God no, you’re the best,”

“Then why didn’t I know that your favorite ice cream flavor was mango? And why didn’t I know that you were allergic to coconut, and why—”

“Hang on, is that what this is all about?” he questions. “Cause I’ll go eat an entire coconut right now,”

Alani laughs lightly and pinches her eyes shut. “No, it’s not about that. I just feel like you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and you make me feel so fucking special and, God, I just wanna be good enough for you because—”

Harry holds his breath and watches as her eyes gloss over.

“Because I love you,” she finishes, voice small. “More than I ever thought possible,”

His own eyes sting, but he doesn’t fight the tears that fall as he presses his lips to hers firmly.

“I love you, too,” Harry murmurs. “I love you so fuckin’ much it drives me crazy,”

Alani chuckles softly. “Ditto,”

“I’ve been wanting to say it for ages, can’t believe you beat me to it.”

“Guess you’re not the only one full of surprises.”

********

The early morning sunlight creeps gently into Harry and Alani’s room, casting a soft, golden glow onto the bare skin that peeks through the white duvet. Harry stirs first, a strand of Alani’s hair tickling his nose and making him smile. He prys his heavy eyelids open and winces at the dull aching of his head aggravated by the light. Alani hears his muffled groan and sighs, willing the sun to go back down and let her sleep a few more hours.

“Mornin’ sweets,” he rasps with a warm kiss to her bare shoulder.

She peels her own tired eyes open and flashes a sleepy grin. “Good morning, sunshine,”

“How’d you sleep?”

“Super. You?”

Harry props himself up on his elbow and rests his chin in his palm as he admires the traces of sleep still on her face.

“Just swell.”

Alani chuckles lightly and reaches a hand up to comb through his unruly bedhead. His skin is warm to the touch, and the light from the window casts a heavenly glow around his visage. She pokes her finger into his dimple, which elicits a soft laugh and makes his smile grow wider. They stay intertwined under the sheets as the sun fully rises and soak up their own details to keep as souvenirs from this moment. Alani takes in the scent of vanilla and the juxtaposition of Harry’s inked bicep against the plain, white sheets. He stores away the image of her sleepy, mocha eyes and the pink, manicured fingernails that trail up and down his arm. Neither of them are sure exactly how long they remain in this moment, for all they know it could be hours or days. But whatever the duration, it doesn’t seem to be enough. I need more time, Harry had told Jeff, but there was no more left to give. He had to tell her, and it was now or never.

“Hey,” he begins carefully. “I need to tell you something,”

Alani sits up to be eye level with him and nods. “Anything,”

Harry waits a beat, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear and pressing his lips to her bare shoulder before letting the confession spill out.

“I have to go back to L.A.,”

“I kinda figured,”

He draws in a deep sigh of relief. “You did?”

“Yeah,” Alani shrugs. “Hilo isn’t exactly Hollywood,”

“I asked for more time, but the label—”

“No, I get it. So… when? Next month?”

“Friday,”

Alani’s brows furrow. “This Friday?”

“Yeah,” Harry admits with a gulp.

“The last day of our trip?”

“Yes,”

Her heart drops into her stomach and she feels sick. It all made sense now why Harry’s mood had shifted when she jokingly asked him not to leave, and why he had been so insistent on spending as much time together as possible this week. Their game of never have I ever turned instantly defensive when asked about his dating history. Never had I ever gone on vacation with my partner before this trip. Never have I ever told someone I loved them when I didn’t. He had whisked her away on a farewell trip and God knows who else had been in her place before, or worse, who would be in it next. Harry was saying good-bye.

“Wait,” Alani says finally, mind still racing too fast to process. “How long have you known?”

“Alani—”

“How long?”

Harry swallows. “Couple of weeks,”

“You knew for weeks and you didn’t tell me?” she questions incredulously.

“I tried—”

“You know that I hate surprises, you know how I feel about plans—”

“I’m sorry,” Harry insists, sitting up straighter. “I wanted to tell you so many times, but it just never felt right,”

Alani rolls her eyes. “So what, you were just gonna leave a fucking sticky note on my pillow and hope for the best?”

“Don’t say that—”

“Is that why you brought me here?” she asks, voice hoarse. “Is that why you gave me this necklace? A souvenir of our little summer fling so you could leave with a clear conscience?”

Harry’s jaw tightens. “How could you even think that?”

“Because maybe it’s true. Why else would you wait until the very last minute to tell me about this?”

“Maybe we should take a minute,” he suggests, the whites of his eyes now bloodshot. “Before we say something we’ll regret,”

“I think I already did.” Alani admits. Never have I ever told someone I loved them when I didn’t.

Harry’s head pounds and he feels like he’s drowning, treading water in every direction only to be dragged further into the current. He quickly pulls on his clothes from the night before and tries to steady his breathing.

“M’gonna go wait in the hall,” he offers. “Give you some space to think and then we’ll talk, yeah?”

Alani doesn’t respond or even meet his pleading eyes. She simply tightens the duvet around her body and turns her head to the window, letting a single, bitter tear roll down her cheek. The door closes softly and she is immediately filled with regret and guilt. Had she truly meant all of the things she said? Or was it fear and the instinct to flee taking over her mouth? Alani wanted to believe that she was wrong and that Harry hadn’t intentionally kept her in the dark, but from where she stood, the sun had long disappeared behind the clouds and all that was left was the storm.

Harry trudges down the hallway and the walls spin, closing in on him slowly. If he had just told Alani sooner, everything would be different. He had avoided doing so for this exact reason and out of fear that their relationship wouldn’t be worth the risk in her mind. It was selfish—he was selfish—to try to make the decision for her, and now the woman he loved was getting ready to walk away because he had broken her trust. What else was there to do? His back meets the wall and he sinks to the floor.

“Hey H,” Jeff clears his throat from above. “We should talk,”

“She knows. Didn’t go well,”

“So she did approve the article?”

Harry lifts his head and his brows furrow. “What?”

There’s a harsh knock at the door and Alani jumps. In Harry’s absence, she had managed to cool off and sift through her frantic thoughts. She had been wrong to think that he used her, all it took was a quick stroll down memory lane to prove otherwise. He had never given her any true reason not to trust him, so there had to be some other reason why he hadn’t told her about his plans to leave so soon. Alani pads over to the door and unlocks it gently.

“Harry, I’m sor—”

“Wanna talk about surprises?” he seethes. “What the fuck is this?”

She squints at the phone screen that he holds up to her face and the title of her unpublished article stares back at her.

“I don’t know—”

“Well it has your goddamn name on it,” Harry shoots back.

Alani steps aside and lets him into the room before she closes the door behind her. “I can explain—”

“Did you write it or not?”

“Yes, but—”

He shuts the phone off and slams it face down onto the night stand. “How fucking dare you call me a liar and then pull this shit behind my back,”

“I didn’t lie,” Alani defends, voice weak. “I had no idea it was going to be published, please just listen—”

“A class project,” he interrupts with his back still turned. “That’s what you said,”

“It was never meant to be released,”

“How do I know that? How do I know you’re not just trying to cover your ass?”

“Please,” Alani begs as her vision begins to blur. “I was wrong, I shouldn’t have said all those things,”

Harry runs a hand through his hair and casts his eyes to the ceiling in an attempt to quell the emotion that pools behind his eyes.

“So why did you?”

“I was scared,”

“Of?”

Alani takes a deep breath. “Of losing you for good. Of falling in l—”

“Don’t,” he interrupts. “Don’t finish that sentence,”

“I don’t know how,” she tries again. “And I don’t know who released it, but I swear—”

“You really expect me to trust a word you say after you accused me of lying about this whole thing, about us?”

Harry’s gaze lowers back to hers and the bright, green eyes that she has come to love are replaced with a blood-shot, stormy sea that makes her stomach drop. The words get caught in her throat.

“I fucked up,” he continues. “I know that I should’ve told you. But I’m having a hard time believing that this wasn’t planned, that this random website would just accidentally publish your work without your consent,”

Alani can’t explain it either, she truly had no idea how her writing had ended up in the wrong hands. There was only one other person she had entrusted it with, but surely Dr. Hudson hadn’t betrayed her, had she? Alani didn’t know who to believe anymore.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” she tries. “I didn’t mean what I said, and I know I can’t take it back, but you have to at least believe that I never wanted to hurt you,”

Harry is silent for a moment, and Alani decides that it’s her turn to tell the truth. There was nothing left to lose.

“At first, I did want to publish it,” she explains. “But I changed my mind and I scrapped the whole thing. In the end, the only person I intended to show it to was you,”

“So how did it get onto the internet for the whole fucking world to see?” he presses.

Alani sighs. “My advisor wanted to know what I was working on, so I sent it to her, but she never had my permission to publish it. Now I realize how stupid it sounds, but it’s the truth,”

“If you had come to me, I would have given you permission,”

“I’m so sorry,”

Harry’s shoulders tense. Every fiber of his being wants to believe her, but how could he? She had told him herself that things would be messy and warned him that he didn’t know what he was asking by pursuing a relationship with her. Maybe it really was all his fault for not seeing the signs, but that still didn’t change the fact that he couldn’t trust her anymore. And based on her reaction to the news of his departure, it seemed as though Alani didn’t trust him either.

“Even if you’re telling the truth,” Harry begins, slow and deliberate. “You still thought, after everything, that I would abandon you. And if that’s the kind of person you think I am, if that’s the person you wrote about—”

“Harry—”

“Then I hope you got all the material you wanted.”

“Please, don’t go.” Alani cries but it’s too late. The door slams and her heart falls.

After a beat, she races to the door and into the hallway but there’s no sign of Harry. As quickly as he had appeared into her life, he had vanished. Gone without a trace.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles x oc #ybmh #sorry besties <3

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monst · 4 years

Text

Tidying up.

Aizawa Shouta x Reader

Quirless Au

Warnings: Mild angst themes (Like super mild), Fluff, Dadzawa, Part 1 of ? (Listen this idea suddenly hit me and I needed to write it okay?)

You hated this job.

Your knuckles rasped against the wood grained door, your feet tapping on the worn welcome mat. Your brows furrowed after a moment of waiting, lifting up your phone you double checked the time and address. Just as you were about to press the button to lock your phone the door creaked open. A cheery smile lit your features as you prepared to introduce yourself.

“I didn’t call you, please leave.” The tall raggedy man grumbled.

Your smile dropped, your eyebrows shooting up in surprise. You had dealt with rude customers before but never one so...blunt. You were about to attempt to speak when the door was promptly shut…. ‘Well then.’ You huffed indignantly. You were about to knock again, lips pulled down in a scowl as you thought up a variety of insults in case he opened up again.”I drove a whole ass hour to get here, I had other things to do, this scruffy looking bum dares.” You muttered, fist raised, tongue ready to lash out in frustration.

Once again you were cut off by the door opening, and you quickly dropped your hand. A tired lanky teenager stood in front of you lavender iris ringed with dark shadows. ‘Damn, someone get this kid some nyquil.’ You thought a polite smile sliding onto your face. The tired looking teen ran his pale fingers through his plum colored hair, a sheepish smile on his face.

“I’m sorry about that Ma’am.” He sighed. “My father’s a bit of a recluse…”

“Let me guess. You called?” You sighed, when he nodded. This wasn’t a first for you, kids usually called your mother’s cleaning service when they’re parents were….unable. He opened the door wider and allowed you and all of your supplies into the house…. ‘Dear god what natural disaster passed through here.’

“Sorry about all the mess, Dad’s been in a rough place for a while and well I’ve been too busy to.. Well you know.” He shrugged ushering to the nasty looking home.

“Right…” You hummed. Looking around to see where you would begin.

“So, I already paid in advance.” He added showing you the cash app. You nodded and watched as he shrugged on a jacket. He was about to head out when you cleared your throat. “Oh right, So Eri’s room is always clean and, His room is a no go zone.”

You nodded once more, slipping on a pair of gloves. The child left with a wave muttering about getting to the elementary school on time. Your smile quickly faded once he was out the door, a scowl claiming your lips as you began to pick up trash. An ugly feeling washed over you as you thought of the kid’s father. ‘Lazy, repulsive asshole.’ You summarized. You absolutely loathed people like that. “Forcing his kid to take up so much responsibility.” You grumbled.

“What a prick.” You huffed, moving the heavy bags to the corner of the door. You continued to clean the rest of the place, scrubbing stains out of walls, washing food off dishes, sweeping, mopping, retching at the putrid stench of the main level bathroom. Once the main floor was done, you set up the stairs towards the bedrooms.

‘Eri’ You read the cursive name on the pink and white plaque. You opened the door and hummed. It was clean. ‘I wonder if she cleans it herself or her brother does.’ You mused grabbing the hamper in which she kept her dirty clothes. You lightly cleaned her relatively clean bathroom and walked off to the purple haired kid’s room. You found nothing unusual. A couple clothes on the floor, scrunched up balls of paper overflowing from a small trash can and junk food wrappers. What did stand out was a picture he had on his desk. It was the same as the one in the living room. ‘Cute.’ You thought looking at the two kids standing by their father.

“Heh he’s actually not half bad looking.” You mumbled looking at the clean shaven man in the photo.

It wasn’t long before you were in their basement, clothes rolling in the wash while you stretched. ‘There goes my saturday’ You sighed, looking at the golden light of sunset from a recently cleaned window. You heard the door open upstairs.

“Woah~ Toshi-nii it’s so clean!” You heard a childish voice squeal.

‘Of course it’s clean I worked my ass off.’ You scoffed bitterly.

“Ms. (Lastname)?” You heard the teenager call out.

“Down here kid.” You called back, feeding the drying machine an armful of dark muted colors.

Two pairs of feet walked down the narrow steps and you soon found yourself looking down at a cute cotton-candied haired girl. Her large ruby eyes threw you off. ‘Different mothers?’ You thought. “The place looks a lot better, thank you.” The polite teenager bowed.

“Yes Thank you!” The smaller child chimed. “I think daddy’s going to feel much better now right Toshi-nii?” She looked up at him for confirmation.

“Yeah.” He replied. “Thanks again.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” You chuckled sheepishly “I’m just doing my job.”

They nodded in understanding, chatting idly as you finished the laundry. They spoke about mindless things, Eri told you tales of what her class did while the kid you now knew as Shinsou Hitoshi carried the folded clothes up the stairs and to their respected rooms. Thankfully it was finally time for you to leave. The siblings saw you to the door, grateful smiles on their lips.

“You're coming back next saturday right?” Eri asked, you nodded tiredly.

The next Saturday arrived much sooner than expected much to your dismay. You had been busy all week submitting resumes and cover letters but you hadn’t heard back from anyone. You parked in front of the two story household and you briefly wondered how the family inside was doing. Then you thought of the two sweet kids and their neglectful father…

“Ughh” You rolled your eyes and slid out of your car. This time Eri opened the door a smile on her cherubic face.

“Hello again Ms.(Lastname).” She chimed.

“Hey.” You greeted, your hand coming down to pat her head. To your relief the house was much tidier than last time and it looked like you would be out much sooner than last time. That made you happy. You decided to start in the kitchen today. You passed the threshold of the kitchen when you noticed that the rest of the household occupied the space.

“No.” You heard the man groan, he was seated on a stool overlooking the purple haired kid. “Do it gently so that the shells don’t all fall in.”

“You make it sound so easy.” Shinsou huffed. The teenager sighed irritably. “I’m not cut out for this.” The dark haired man chuckled, the kid’s cheeks flushing pink in embrasement.

“I’ll do it.” He suggested. “I’m sure we’d all like to eat breakfast before noon.” He teased.

“No I got it.” Shinou insisted, it was then that you saw his eyes shift to an object. You followed his gaze to stare at the crutches leaning against the counter… ‘Oh…’

“Toshi! Daddy! Ms. (Lastname) is here.” Eri interrupted. You felt the change in atmosphere immediately. A dark cloud seemed to hang over the man now, his posture tense a clipped hello slipping past his lips.

“Morning.” Shinsou greeted.

“Morning.” You repeated, side eyeing the silent man. “I’ll get started upstairs.” You quickly excused yourself, your heart dropping to your feet. Shame washed over you, filling your veins with an icy-hot concoction. You hadn’t noticed but Eri followed after you, surprising you when she spoke.

“It happened recently.” She mumbled. “...Daddy’s leg.” She clarified.

“...I see…” You didn’t know what to say to the little girl. As you cleaned you couldn’t help but feel guilt eat at your bones. ‘I’m a fucking idiot, judging people right off the bat like that.’ Suddenly a lot made sense.

“C-can I help?” You smiled at the child.

“I dunno Eri-chan.” You mused.

“Please?”

Your resolve crumbled once she gave you a look that should be illegal. There wasn’t much to clean but that was okay. Eri was a cheery child and her silly stories helped pass the time. That was until you heard her tummy rumble.

“You should go down and eat.” She shook her head, her brows furrowing in...disgust.

“Toshi-nii is cooking.” She grimaced.

“That bad?” You laughed. She nodded somberly. Your conversation was cut off when you heard a loud crash coming from downstairs.

Alarmed both you and Eri rushed downstairs towards the kitchen. You found yourself caught in their family drama, Eri was in tears, Shinsou’s eyes were turned up in hurt and worry and their father Aizawa Shouta? He was on the ground, his prosthetic a couple of feet away.

“Da-”

“Don’t, I can do it myself.” The man shouted, the children flinching at his desperate tone. You didn’t like to intervene in other’s lives especially not your mother’s clients but well you felt...bad? Dropping your gloves onto the counter you leaned down to help the man back up. His dark eyes glared at you, lips parting to speak.

“Shut up.” you grunted before he could even sound a syllable. He was heavy and surprisingly thick. Shinsou quickly went to his other side, supporting his father up onto a chair. Once he was seated he rested his head onto his hand, dark locks covering his face.

Eri pressed to his side, small arms hugging him, while Shinsou went to grab the prosthetic…. You suddenly felt awkwardly out of place. You were basically spectating watching as his arm came around Eri and when Shinsou’s arm wrapped around his shoulder he held in tightly an apology slipping past his lips.

“It’s okay dad.” Shinsou sighed. “It’s hard I know.”

Aizawa didn’t answer, and you went to retrieve their first aid kid. After that incident the scruffy man ordered Ihop for breakfast.

You thought of them throughout that week. They were a small little broken family but.. Ultimately they were going to be okay, they were healing. Your week was uneventful once more, your mother pushing you to become more involved in her cleaning company. You had other plans but still no call backs.

The two story house looked more inviting that saturday. You were surprised to see the man of the house open the door. He wasn’t really talkative but he ushered you to the master bedroom. It wasn’t as bad as you had thought. You vacuumed the carpet, washed and changed the sheets. You were relieved that he hadn’t stayed to watch you clean his room.

‘He’s kinda scary.’ You thought, allowing his silent disposition to jar you. ‘But he was really good with his kids so he’s not as bad as I thought.’ You left his room after it met your standards and walked down to the basement to get the rest of his clothes out of the drying machine. To your surprise you found something laying inside one of the baskets.

“A..cat?” You mused. “How come I haven’t seen you around.” Squatting down you allowed the fluffy kitty to sniff your fingers, a smile coming to your lips when the cat rubbed its head against your hand. Happy purrs shook the furry critters body, you hadn't noticed but Shinsou had walked down the stairs.

“Oh hey (Name).” After last saturday you had left asking the kids to just call you by your first name.

“When did you guys get a cat?” You asked scratching the kitty’s head, both hands coming to lovingly squish the feline’s head.

“We’ve had her for a while.” He laughed. “She just loves to hide.”

“Then how come I didn’t see her litter?” You mused.

“.....It’s hidden, you know the plant in the living room?” You nodded. “The pot is the box, it’s the only thing we make sure is always clean.” He shrugged.

“Huh. I never noticed.” You shrugged.

“That’s ‘cause your head’s always in the clouds.” He stated. “That’s not to say you're doing a bad job, it's just that you always look like you're not here or don’t want to be here. Sorry that was rude.”

“No it’s okay don’t apologize.” You sighed, stoking the cat’s soft fur, chuckling when she nipped your fingers.

“So you don’t want to be here?” He asked.

“Not really.” You sighed. “Cleaning isn’t my ideal job but it’s what’s paying the bills.” You shrugged. “Adult life ain’t what it’s all cracked up to be.” You laughed.

He didn’t ask anymore questions and thus your time in their household was brief that saturday…..

“Morning.” You greeted the family, they were crowded in the kitchen watching as Shinsou burned an egg. You laughed when the fire alarm went off and you grabbed a cloth to wave the smoke and silence it. “I see you're still bad at cooking.”

He rolled his eyes muttering under his breath, Aizawa and Eri laughed much to his chagrin. “Ugh dad makes it look easy.”

“That’s because it is.” You found yourself speaking in time with Aizawa’s deep baritone. Your face heated up in embarrassment and you looked away from him.

“Then you do it.” The purple haired kid scoffed.

“And give you a free meal?” You asked.

“Yes please.” Eri whined. “Anything but burt eggs and toast. Please (Name)”

“I-”

“You don’t have to Ms. (Name).” Shouta’s deep voice rumbled. “And you two don’t need to add onto her workload here.”

“N-No it’s no issue.” You flustered. “It’s the least I could do.” ‘Afterall you did increase my pay.’

“Finally! Something edible!” Eri cheered as she dug into her food. You felt a bit strange sitting there at the table with them. Shinsou reigned in his snark.

“This is actually really good.” He mumbled.

“Yeah, we haven’t had a breakfast like this in a while.” Eri added. You cringed at the wording, your eyes shifting to the dark haired man. If the words had affected him, he was very good at hiding it you noted. The comment flew by without anyone questioning it but you made out the way his jaw clenched.

After cleaning up you continued onto the house. It seemed like each saturday there was less to and less to do. Work flew by with Eri or Shinsou’s idle chatter.

“And then Mrs. Rei said that my drawing was the bestest drawing in the whole class!” Eri grinned proudly.

“Really?” You added enthusiastically.

“Yup!” Silence reigned for a moment until she asked another question. “Ms. (Name)?”

“Hm?”

“Are you married?” She asked innocently.

“No.” You laughed.

“Why not? You're really nice and pretty.” She pondered.

“Well… I was engaged once.” You hummed, setting another folded pants on top of an ever growing pile.

“What happened?” She asked.

“...It..It didn’t work out.” You mumbled. “..But never mind that you said you had a play next sunday?”

“Yes, You should come see. Daddy and Shinsou are coming too!”

You buried your face into your hands and groaned. It’s been months and no one would take you on. Not even the Mcdonalds!? ‘It would be wise if you’d just stay in the background, playing nice with cleaning chemicals.’

“When are you going to give up (Name)?” You heard your mother chime.

“Never.” You muttered tiredly.

“....Look, I know he ruined every other avenue of work for you but at least you still have this.” She tried to console.

“This!? This mother! I’m fucking tired of this!? I have a fucking degree, I have expirence! I had a life!? And I want it back!?” You shouted. “I don’t want to clean toilets and wash windows for the rest of my life!?!”

Your mother frowned, her hand coming to rest on your shoulder. “I know.” She whispered her arms wrapping around your trembling form. “Trust me sweetheart if there was any other way I could help you I would...and I’m sorry… this is the best I can do.”

“I’m sorry.” You cried. After a while you had calmed down. Your mother suggested you go out on a walk to clear your head. You decided to kill two birds with one stone and went to grab groceries.

You cursed your ex as you strolled down the aisles of the produce section. “Motherfucking asshole ruining my life ‘cause his bitch ass was fucking chea- Adikndeubfo” The word that left your mouth surprised the tall man infront of you. He was in slight awe at how you were able to vocalize that sound…

“Evening Ms.(Name).” Aizawa’s lazy voice lolled.

“M-Mr. Aizawa.” You flushed. ‘Shit I think he heard that!?!??!!?’ You shreeched internally.

“Didn’t know you liked to curse out fruit.” He chuckled, adjusting his grip on his cane.

You were grateful that he didn’t question you about what you were fiercely muttering. You looked around him trying to spot his kids.

“Just me.” He smiled. “Well and a friend.”

“Friend? Oops sorry that came out wrong.” You laughed sheepishly.

“Hard to believe?” ‘Is he….Joking around right now?’ A smile curved your lips as another apology slipped past your lips. “An old friend dragged me out.” He found himself explaining as he walked along with you. You had noticed that he was getting better at walking with his prosthetic, soon he wouldn’t even need his cane.

“(Name)?” You were broken out of your trance.

“W-what?” You asked. “Sorry I spaced out for a second.”

“Right. I just.. I wanted to thank you.”

“What for?” Your brows were furrowed in confusion.

“Doing more than what your job required.” He said vaguely, he left your side with a wave as he approached a blonde haired man who argued about a cereal brand with a bluenette.

“Oh you met his friends?” Shinsou mused as he stirred the pot with intense focus.

“Yeah, one of them looked really familiar.” You hummed as you mopped the floor. “Did you make sure to taste it?”

“He’s a radio host and, yes I did. But i’m not sure if it has enough salt.” You opened a drawer and pulled out a spoon dipping it into the thick liquid that he was stirring.

“Wow.” You breathed. “It’s actually good.”

“Ha. Ha.” He huffed.

You left the kid to his own devices and walked to the living room where ‘Hana’ laid curled up in Aizawa’s lap. Her eyes were two curved lines as she slept, Shouta’s hand barely resting on her form, his other arm wrapped around a sleeping Eri.

“Let me guess you let her stay up late last night?” You teased. His sigh told you all you needed to know and you laughed.

“You can’t keep letting Eri do whatever she wants.” You heard Shinsou call from the kitchen.

The smile on Aizawa’s face made your heart thump, and you quickly looked away from the warm smile. It wasn’t directed at you but it was completely heart melting. Hana rolled out of his lap as he made to stand up, his arms going underneath Eri’s small form, Strong arms lifting the child with ease.

“I guess she can sleep in a bit more.” He mumbled, there was a slight limp in his step but otherwise he made it up the stairs with relative ease, you trailed behind him opening Eri’s door so that he could set her on her bed. His hand pet her hair tenderly and you remembered how ill you thought of him before.

“You know… It was Oboro who pitched the idea to Hitoshi.” He began.

“What idea?” You whispered.

“To hire someone to clean up the place… I was.. I was in a really dark place after the accident and I felt so damn useless. I was failing my kids.” He sighed. “I’m glad you didn’t leave when I shut the door on you that day. Which reminds me I never apologized for that.”

“It’s water under the bridge Mr. A-

“Shouta.” He corrected.

“Shouta.” You repeated, your face catching warmth.

“I owe you a lot Ms. (Name), No don’t say it’s just your job, it isn’t your job to speak with my kids, to teach Shinsou how to cook, to help with shopping and to spend all the time you do here.”

‘I’ve been spending a lot of time here lately haven’t I?’ You mused as his words sunk in. In all honestly you began to grow fond of this family.

“(Name).” You looked towards him.

“If there is anything you ever need, if it’s within my power I’ll help you without a second thought.” He said earnestly.

“T-Thank you..”

“No, thank you… for tidying up.” You slapped your palm to your face at the pun, a smile on your face.

“Please don’t” You laughed. Shouta then pressed his index finger to his lips, eyeing the sleeping Eri. You covered your mouth, looking to see if she had stirred, just as you were about to let out a sigh of relief-

“Yo! Shouta~ We’re here!”

“What smells this good?”

And Eri was then awake…. You couldn’t help but laugh when the dark haired man dragged his hand down his face with a sigh.

…..Maybe this job wasn’t so bad...

#aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa fluff #eraserhead x reader #Written on a whim

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skullsandwineglasses · 3 years

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You Are My Hero (2021) Review

Overall impression: The drama started off really cute and promising in the first half, but was weak and underwhelming in the second half. In-depth review below (with spoilers).

A cute and fluffy romance premise

Right off the bat, the love story between the leads is tropey as hell, but manages to not be tacky and is actually really endearing. The ML, a SWAT officer, rescues the FL, an aspiring neurosurgery medical resident, from a bank robbery 2 years ago. They leave a lasting impression on each other, but don't keep in touch afterwards. The FL never sees his face because he's wearing a mask, but the ML remembers her name.

Fate brings them together again 2 years later when the FL enrolls in an emergency rescue training camp that’s supervised by the ML. He recognizes her and falls for her immediately, but she doesn’t know he’s the one who rescued her years ago.

Their relationship starts off rocky, similar to how a CEO romance would start: the ML first appears cold and distanced, strict and brooding, but actually has a huge soft spot for the FL. The FL is put off by his coldness, but is sometimes surprised as random moments of tenderness. When the training camp is complete, the ML becomes a cute and awkward lovesick puppy who tries to figure out how to woo the FL because this is his first time (and hers) falling in love. It’s fun seeing him become so flustered around her when he’s usually so calm, collected, and in control as the leader of a SWAT team.

On other hand, the FL slow falls for the ML when he reveals a more real and vulnerable side of himself. They banter a lot, but she slowly warms up to him.

And as a no-nonsense drama, the two leads acknowledge their feelings for each other quickly (although they haven't directly admitted it to each other yet). They're in the awkward phase of attraction and going on semi-dates, but they haven't defined the relationship yet. *Sigh* First love.

Things I enjoyed

I appreciate that although the FL is a Mary Sue, she does make mistakes. She's smart, but she isn't the top of her class. She’s kind and selfless, but she also isn’t overly tolerant of people. When people overstep their boundaries and are unjust to her, she’ll confront them. Ma Sichun is such a natural actress. She can do cute and flirty, she can be clueless and lost, she can be confident and in control, she can be angry and indignant. I especially loved her character’s adorable interactions with her best friend Xiao Xia.

The acting in this drama was all around great. It’s probably the best part of the drama. It was so comfortable and fun to watch. I think AvenueX described it best: the acting in the drama was so natural that sometimes it felt like the actors broke character but the director kept the take. Some of the laughing, giggling, and gestures felt so genuine that you wonder if it was improvised, scripted, or a blooper scene that became canon.

I like how the FL and ML are each experts in their respective fields. They have very separate careers that occasionally intersect. I'm tired of CEO dramas where the FL is working for the ML, or there are class differences between them. Instead in this drama, the FL faces problems everyday at work that the ML doesn't know about. Her problems do not relate to him at all. She has problems that he can't understand or help with. Likewise, he also goes on missions that she isn't aware of. They work in completely different fields with different skill sets. They even talk about how their philosophies differ. Her job is to save lives but not make moral judgments of character, while his job is to enforce the law, which is all about assessing character. Where their careers do intersect, is the goal of saving others and putting others first before themselves.

Another dynamic of the relationship that I really like is that the FL and ML are always occupied and on the move because of their professions, and yet, their loyalty and devotion to each other never change. They are each other's rock. Despite encountering so many different situations and people, despite all of the chaos and noise from their careers, nothing can really outweigh how important they are to each other. Despite being out in the field, far away from home, their hearts are anchored to each other. I just like this trope a lot, i.e., the trope of being away from home, but remaining true and loyal and unwavering. Despite having bigger and more important things in the world to deal with, their ultimate dream is wanting to just spend some time together. It's analogous to how in ancient period dramas, there are generals who command armies and and maintain a strictly professional demeanor and don't mention a word about their family to their soldiers, but when the general retires to his tent at night, he's writing a long and thoughtful letter home, because his loved one was on his mind all day.

The supporting characters are great, but I do like the older and mature supporting couple (Xing Ke Yao and Shao Yu Han) more than the younger supporting couple (Xiao Xia and Shu When Bo), despite the actors playing the younger couple being literally my age. I also appreciate how the FL has multiple close friends who are quite separate from each other, instead of just the single token sidekick best friend (although the second half of the drama does just focus on one of her main friends). It's relatable because we all have different groups of friends. We have friends from high school, we have friends from college, and we have friends from work. Most of these friends are kept separate, and sometimes they interact. But I like how this drama shows that the FL has a small network of friends from different walks of life.

Things I didn’t enjoy as much

The plot derailed and lost its charm after episode 30. There were fewer hospital cases, and the ML had to complete a mission that I had no interest in following. There was no other point to the superfluous mission besides to show that the ML has a busy and demanding job that prevents him from being at the FL’s side when she needs him the most.

I also really, really disliked the introduction of the random love rival in episode 31 just to try to stir some angst. The plot device was pointless because in the end, there was no angst because the leads have a strong and healthy relationship, and so the love rival’s attempt at sabotaging the relationship was just laughable and completely random. It just disrupted the mood and pacing of the drama because that plotline just came out of the blue. It was just so annoying seeing the love rival and her sister cause trouble and wreak havoc in the FL’s workplace.

The drama did a good job at showing how the leads put their careers first, which caused strain and tension in their relationship that they tend to ignore. But, the drama never explores this further, even though it’s a very real problem that many career-driven and ambitious couples face. The drama presents a very idealized vision of a relationship between a police officer and a doctor. Like when the FL leaves for a special research and training program in the States, the drama shows that the leads breezed through the two-year long distance relationship in a quick montage. They had no issue in communication. Yes, they miss each other, but they’re blissful. But what kind of long distance relationship has no bumps in it? The drama also implies that they never saw each other in person during two years (in the final episode, Xing Ke Lei squeezed her arms and said that since they haven’t seen each other in 2 years, he had to check if she was missing anything), which is highly unrealistic. Was she never able to go back home for the holidays? Did Xing Ke Lei, whose parents live and work overseas, never bother to visit his girlfriend? Overall, it seemed a little off to me that despite the budding tension and issues they’ve been having between them, they were able to overcome a long distance relationship so easily. You could argue that they’re used to long separations because of their work, and the drama has shown that they’re used to communicating over video calls, but I was just a little disappointed that they rushed this final plotline when so much more could have been done with it.

Speaking of parents, we never actually got to see their parents. I understand that the parents are not relevant to the focus of the story, but the parents are rarely even mentioned, which further makes the romance in the story seem too idealistic. Whether it’s a near-death situation, getting engaged, or studying abroad for 2 years, the FL never mentions talking to her parents about these decisions and life changes. The drama handwaves the parents’ absence and lack of influence by having the FL mention early in the drama that her parents are busy with their business back home, so they don’t have time to worry about her. She also no longer bothers to update them about her work because she’s afraid they’ll be worried about her. And then from there, we never hear the FL mention her parents again. It’s just so weird to see that the most important person in her life is the ML and she only ever talks about major life choices with her friends. I mean, if the plot had said that she didn’t have a family, it wouldn’t have mattered. But the fact that she does mention her parents, but they’re completely absent and non-existent just felt a little off, like something was missing. But in the grand scheme of things, this is not really an issue. I’m just nit-picking.

Lastly, I just want to comment on Bai Jingting as Xing Ke Lei. I admit that he sells the part well. At first I was skeptical about Bai Jingting as a SWAT officer because of how skinny and baby-faced he is, but he actually pulls it off surprisingly well and has some unexpectedly good chemistry with Ma Sichun too. Although during moments when he isn't talking and we're just left with his resting face, I'm suddenly hit by how young he looks, but then he speaks or is back in uniform and again, the gestalt shift goes back to Xing Ke Lei, the handsome SWAT officer. They made a point of showing how muscled his arms are, which was a little jarring to see in comparison to his youthful face, not gonna lie. So, while I liked him as Xing Ke Lei, it was a little distracting switching back and forth between seeing him as a really young, adolescent-looking actor, and him as the broad-chested character.

Should you watch?

All in all, a really cute and easy-to-watch drama with some thoughtful and sentimental moments. Very fluffy. Minimal to no misunderstandings. Charming characters. There are the storylines of three couples with medical/police subplots interweaved between the romance. On bilibili, some people even edited clips of the drama with theme songs from TVB medical and police dramas like The Hippocractic Crush and Tiger Cubs. So, as someone who grew up with TVB dramas, it was nostalgic to see those thematic parallels.

But, the drama does lose steam in the last 10 or so episodes, and has a lot of filler to stretch it out to 40 episodes. That’s the issue I have with modern dramas. The plot in modern dramas is usually quite basic, and I would argue that the modern romance is easier and less angsty. You either love each other or you don’t. You either are willing to commit or you’re not. There aren’t many external excuses for angst or misunderstandings. (Of course, I’m trivializing things; real life isn’t as easy).

Still, I would recommend this drama for anyone who’s between dramas. I watched this drama to help me get over the rut I was in because I was going through withdrawal after finishing The Rebel Princess, so I needed a light-hearted drama whose genre was completely different from TRP. And this drama was perfect for breaking that rut.

Rating: 8/10. Simple, fluffy, and not too much to complain about. I also forgot to talk about the great humour in the drama, but there were many moments when I laughed out loud or couldn’t stop grinning. This is also a drama you can take your time with because there aren’t constant cliff hangers to peg you on. It doesn’t consume your life, and you can pause (although, the first 18 or so episodes are definitely binge-worthy because the development of the leads’ relationship is just too cute, and so they suck you right in). However, while it is one of the better modern romance dramas I’ve watched (and the characters are very consistent), it’s not a very memorable drama. It doesn’t make me linger. I guess it’s because I’m more of a historical and xianxia drama kind of person. So take from that what you will.

#you are my hero #你是我的城池营垒 #cdrama #bai jingting #白敬亭 #ma sichun #sandra ma #马思纯 #cdrama review #cdramanet

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convenientalias · 3 years

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I Rate Cdramas Based Off Their First Episode

Today I dropped another cdrama off my to-watch list after watching one and a half episodes. Which has me thinking about first episodes in general, and what I look for from them. I could write extensive meta about this but instead I thought I'd just make another list where I rate cdramas based on my own arbitrary taste.

Some caveats: These are only cdramas I've watched to completion and whose first episodes I actually remember. So, for example, I liked the first episode of The Story of Minglan but dropped it on episode 10--it is not on this list. On the other hand, I had mixed feelings on the first episode of Sword Dynasty when I watched it but now I can't remember it, so it isn't on this list either. That said, let's begin. In alphabetical order...

Ancient Detective: Introduces the three leads, gives you a sense of the MC's motivation, and gets the main bromance started. Has one mini-case solved in the first half of the episode and then sets up the first multi-episode case. A fun episode in itself and a good introduction. 10/10, I think anyone would want to watch at least the next episode to see where things are going and get some more bromance.

The Disguiser: Really has a lot going on. It can be kind of confusing at first, especially for someone who doesn't know much about this period in Chinese history, to figure out who's who and who belongs to what political party etc, but it does get across what the main characters are like and establish them all as very competent and (except maybe Ming Tai) pretty shady. It has everything: executions, torture, assassinations, reunions between old friends (lovers?) who are no longer exactly friends, dramatic plane rides, kidnappings, recruitment speeches... Admittedly better on a rewatch when you're less confused, but does start things off with a boom. 9/10.

Flame's Daughter: On a rewatch I had misremembered this first episode as being the first two episodes because so much fuckign happens. And yet it's easy enough to follow. A large number of major characters are introduced, but few of them are given much depth as of yet, and you don't really know their motivations. The two MCs have a sort of a meet cute, and Lie Ruge has some fun hanging out in a brothel. I would rate this episode higher if Taste Flower Pavilion had more to do with the main plot, or if a couple characters who seem important in this episode didn't turn out to be mostly irrelevant. But it's got a good hook, even if it sort of underplays the level of wuxia intrigue that will show up after a few more episodes. 7/10.

Granting You a Dreamlike Life: Does anyone like the framing device of GYADL? It's really only relevant to the first and last episode, and it's so pointless. Why introduce the two main actors in completely different roles for the first half of the first episode and then go into a prolonged flashback where they're different characters entirely? It just annoys me. (Partly bc the plot of this framing device is embarrassing.) That said, once you get into the flashback itself--which you do get around to this episode--you get one of the best scenes of the series with the two leads fighting each other over a bag of dumplings, doing acrobatics and martial arts and even some motorcycling. A quality meet cute. So I will give this episode 5/10 for being both excellent and awful.

Handsome Siblings: This show's first two episodes are mostly backstory. But it's not that bad, really. I mean, think of all the kdramas that spend the first three to five episodes on backstory and it's really not that bad to just spend one and a half episodes on it. Still I'm not a huge fan of the MCs being babies for the whole first episode, and this first episode is extremely tragic while the majority of the show is a mix of angst and comedy, so it's not all that accurate of an introduction to the show either. I think the second episode is much truer to the mood of the series as a whole and a better introduction in general. Still, the first episode does give a lot of backstory that you really need to get the dramatic irony that the rest of the series leans on, so... I guess 4/10??

Joy of Life: The first episode of Joy of Life is hilarious. Doesn't introduce the political intrigue aspect or some other aspects of the show, and the first couple minutes are confusing, but mostly, it's just hilarious. The kid actor for Fan Xian I may like better than his adult actor lols. 10/10, again, I have a hard time seeing anyone wanting to stop without watching another episode.

Nirvana in Fire: I know NIF's first episode is notoriously confusing but I actually think... it's not bad. Because fundamentally, NIF is a show about a lot of characters doing political schemes and often monologuing about it. So a first episode that has some basic scheming and introduces a lot of cast members isn't really that bad. I also kind of like that the first episode is like "this show will be about the conflict between Prince Yu and the Crown Prince, and Mei Changsu supporting one of them to become emperor" and then not only does MCS not support either one, but he also is secretly more focused on the Chiyan case than in even making Jingyan emperor as a goal in itself. Also, NIF said at the get-go "MCS is gonna die in two years" and it stuck to its guns and you have to respect that. And making Lin Chen show up for one episode and then disappear until the final act was also pretty wild. That said, I have now watched this episode five times trying to convince others to watch the show and I only convinced one person, so I can't say it's all that effective as a hook. I give it a 6/10 because I am fond but it's true that it's kind of a disaster.

Winter Begonia: I would like to complain and say this show starts off slow. The leads only meet towards the end of this first episode, and they spend most of the episode hanging out with their respective families (or opera troupe, as the case may be) living their everyday lives. But this is a slice of life show with a slow burn (b)romance at its core, so even though at the time I first watched the first episode I wanted things to move faster, ultimately it makes sense with what the show is. In some shows, you get the leads becoming close right off the bat (Ancient Detective, I'm looking at you), and in others, it only happens after several episodes of shallow but flirty meetings, a disastrous party, and a serious conversation in a gazebo in the middle of a snowstorm. What you get from Winter Begonia's first episode is not immediate action or relationship development but a strong sense of who Shang Xirui and Cheng Fengtai are separately, which prepares you for how they will and won't mesh well together as the story progresses. 9/10.

I haven't actually watched any of these episodes in a while so I may be wrong or biased by how the shows turned out by the time I was done with them. Let me know if you agree or disagree :)

#cdramas #sometime i should do this with kdramas too #bc i think their first episodes are a bit different #but not tonight

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kryptoniancape · 3 years

Note

Caryl moments you're looking forward to/hoping for in the spinoff (besides the obvious!) - for me it's Daryl teaching Carol how to ride the motorcycle :)

Oh boy, have I been waiting all day to write this. *Cracks knuckles*

Any motorcycle stuff is good tier; Daryl hovering over her with his hands over hers on the handlebars while he shows her the clutch/brake, Carol straddling him on the bike for a quick passionate makeout before they drive off somewhere—In fact that last bit is my ultimate crackheadcanon for the final scene we see of them in the main show. (I dream big)

Helping each other dress down for the night/get dressed in the morning and pausing to kiss each other’s scars. I especially see and love the idea of Carol doing this.

Cuddling and telling stories by a camp fire. And just like, more of them acting domestic as they move from campsite to campsite. The haircut scene from 9x07 was one hell of a teaser and I’m awaiting the feature.

Speaking of hair, Daryl playing with strands of Carol’s hair.

If they end up in another place with running water at some point: mutual shower time, obviously. (Other couples have gotten shower moments on this show, Caryl will be overdue for one or two!) And like, I see them falling into it out of pure convenience initially, because they’re naturally such a unit they’d think efficiency first and foremost :)) Honestly it doesn’t even have to be a traditional shower, they could just be trying to clean up wherever and it turns flirty.

This one’s kinda corny but I’d love to see Daryl take to a pet name for Carol, since she already has one for him. I imagine a standard term of endearment, but coming from Daryl it would be hilarious and adorable no matter what.

Getting stuck holed up somewhere until a threat passes but they find an old bottle of whiskey. And it tastes like shit but it gets them past the time with genuine laughs and carefree canoodling

For that healthy dose of angst, an episode or so where some kind of danger spirals into them getting separated by accident, and leads one or both of them to believe the other could be seriously injured, in trouble or worse, and then the absolute tooth rotting fluff moment of them finally finding each other unharmed, in a deperate embrace of emotions.

Acting super overprotective of one another/threatening potential hostiles they cross paths with for breathing too close to their respective boo

Making cigarettes and smoking them together

Nursing each other after an injury and being just a lil overbearing and cute about it

Turning random tasks into playful contests (just like acorn kick the can) and like making petty bets and shit too that may or may not involve sexual favours :)))

Obviously want to see Caryl + visiting iconic North American landmarks; maybe the grand canyon, and some Mayan ruins would be sick if they end up going that far south. If they come up to Canada and start tearing it up in my neck of the woods I think I would die lol. These would also be such priceless Daryl moments, because our bby has never seen anything outside of the southeastern states.

Stealing neat trinkets and stuff to give to each other as gifts, and being excited to surprise each other with it. Maybe they even give each other matching stick n pokes at one point, Idk

Okay lastly, (and this is sort of a specific headcanon I have that stems all the way back from that image of Melissa holding the guitar, lmao) They stumble across a safe-ish area late one night that has super weird western vibes, and surprise! It’s actually a fucking bar, with a bunch of burly scary lookin people on edge. And just when it seems like they’re all about to throw down they’re like, we’ll chill in exchange for one song. Daryl blinks and Carol is like, fuck it I’ll sing something for y’all if that’s what it takes for us to crash here tonight, so be it :) A couple of dudes with beat up instruments are already at the ready in an elevated corner of the room, and Carol sings some knockoff accoustic piece akin to Ride by LDR. The entire room is just hollering and thoroughly into it, and Daryl stares on with heart eyes and amazed bewilderment at what is transpiring. Cue some flash cuts afterwards of Daryl and Carol smashing beers with these complete strangers and all of them genuinely enjoying each others’ presence. 🎬

Whew, that was a full ted talk. They will be the death of me. I swear, I could watch another decade of their adventures together and it would never get boring. Caryl truly are in their own league. I’m enthralled by the proximity of just seeing them existing, basically.

#okay but like @twd hire me #I’m praying for at least a few bingos #caryl #caryl spinoff #caryl positivity #this ask was *chef’s kiss #ask #anon #meta

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absolutebl · 7 months

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Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows

tagged by @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle (thanks doll)

I rarely pass along tags but you should do this one and tag me if you do so I can see, comfort watches are my absolute FAVORITE.

This is a BL blog and I've watched most of them, so I will be picking BL. But I will only be picking BL I am rewatching for comfort right NOW.

Some of these may surprise. Ready?

My Top 10 Comfort BL's right NOW

1 kiss x kiss x kiss - perfect scandal (short)

My favorite of this series because it's basically office romance sexy bits we all wanted from Old Fashion Cupcake.

2 Jun & Jun

his show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smile every moment I'm watching. This is very much MY style of BL.

3 Love is Science (BL cut)

Mark and Ouwen gotta be one of my all time favorite side dishes. LIS? is a noona romance with added mature side couple as well as these two, mostly interwoven. It’s a big buy in just for Mark & Ouwen but WORTH IT, and some kind soul uploaded a BL cut to YT. Everything is a touch quirky but the BL boys are beautiful, earnest, and high heat. It's one of Taiwan's favorite dynamics: the bisexual himbo meets the confident gay, but they are just LOVELY, plus tiny queer family at the end.

4 2 Moons 3

What can I say, it's utter trash but there is something about the main couple I love. A Thai pulp that felt like it came out 5 yrs ago with many of the flaws inherent to that time and studio system, including manufactured angst and convoluted plot, but an ultimately sweet main couple that (as a pairing) feels a bit more modern and is satisfying to watch. This will probably go down in history as one of the few BLs where I genuinely didn’t care about any of the side couples.

5 Love Class 2

But only "my couple." ( the mature student and the TA). I still hold that they probably should’ve had their own series.

6 Big Dragon

I didn't love this when it first aired but I am coming around to it more on the rewatch. (I may even up its score from 7 to 8 if the eventual movie sticks the landing). This is a pairing that proved itself to be a lot more sophisticated than I expected with nods at kink in a more respectful way than Mame could ever dream, plus excellent chemistry.

7 Why R U? Korea

The Korean remake of Why RU? is BOTH bizarro land, and EXACTLY what I expected. There is something comforting in watching the Cliff's notes version of a show I enjoyed before just in a different BL style. I don't know why I like this one so much, but I really do.

8 Takara & Amagi

I gnawed on my knuckles and squealed a lot with this show first time around. Now I still love it but I'm more calm. It is beyond charming: soft and gentle, packed with cuteness and high school angst, thirst, & yearning.

9 About Youth

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth.

Clearly I'm having a bit of a high school phase because I've been thinking of doing this one next:

10 My School President

Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORED this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being re-executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny?

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bafflinghaze · 3 years

Note

Hi! You’re one of my favorite Drarry writers but I’ve also realized you like danmei (Chinese bl novels)! Heaven Official’s Blessing and anything by MXTX is awesome, but I was wondering if you know any other good novel recs? See, I would privately message this but I’m shy >\\\<

HELLLLLOOOOO. Yes, aside from MXTX, I have so many good novel recs. I’m currently obsessed with e-sport novels lol, but I’ll categories them for you~

(Also, feel free to privately message me 🥺)

But first, my absolute favourite, the only one I’ve actually written fanfic for is:

Very Happy: happy actor x unhappy CEO, SUPER SOFT, SUPER FLUFFY, (and some good, good angst), I’ve re-read this like...over five times 🥺🥺🥺 Sooo much doting and devotedness~

Okay, now for the other recs, which are ranked by favourite ness within each category. Also, warning that some of these may or not may not be completed...

*(for people who don’t know, MC is main character, and ML is his love interest~)

Cultivation & ancient china novels:

Heavenly Soul by crimson_carnation: This is an original English BL xianxia, but you WON’T REGRET IT. The MC and ML are both super strong, and ML is really good at consent and there’s a lot of explicit sex (the beauty of original English hehe). There’s also a lot of other BL side couples too!

The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish: This...the MC transmigrates into the body of a fish. Sounds crack, doesn’t it? BUT IT’S SO GOOD. It’s so surprising just how many interactions MC can have with ML while in fish form. And then MC gains the ability to turn into a human for short amounts of time...and the humour shoots straight up. ML is SO THIRSTY haha. There’s also fanart already on twitter

The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post: The funny thing is the MC (gong) becomes a divine tree based human, and the ML is a cute cat that has cultivated to human form. So the MC is literally the ML’s scratching post 😂 MC is the ultimate crafting cultivator and has made many, many treasures, and also spends priceless amounts of materials and money on making cat items for his ML/master/previous pet cat.

The Jade Veterinarian by tigerine: another original English BL, the MC is a vet by accident. In the story, there are jade animals that have the ability to purify the land. However, for some reason, many of these animals have been...buried, have stopped working. MC ends up reviving them, and the jade animals love him haha

Modern novels:

Very Happy, of course.

Death Progress Bar: OMG. THIS. ACTION TO THE EXTREME! The MC goes from weak to strong AF, the ML is the leader of the biggest underworld organisation. The MC and ML protect each other~ Also, the MC’s five older brothers...they get so amusing as the story progresses.

Reborn with an Old Enemy on the Day of our Marriage: This is like enemies to lovers, but with the two main characters both being reborn back to their last year of school! SO FUN. Imagine if Harry and Draco slowly became friends and eventually got married post-war, but then returned back to Hogwarts at the start of Eighth Year, making everyone confused when H & D “suddenly” are best of friends 😂😂😂

King of Classical Music: The music, the details about how orchestras work....so good.... the MC was murdered and rebirthed into another violinist (in the same world) and he used this second chance in life to become an even more powerful and amazing violinist. The ML is an OP pianist lol

I’m Afraid I’m Now a Salted Fish: MC is a low-key actor, and ML is a boss at his entertainment company. BUT the twist is that MC wants to be a salted fish. ML wants to give him all the resources but MC is like no thanks!! And everyone thinks that MC and ML have a sugar baby/sugar daddy relationship, but it’s actually really cute and loving. ML wished he could act more the sugar daddy lol.

Rebirth of a Cannon Fodder from a Novel: MC had a horrible life, and was rebirthed back, also learning that he was a cannon fodder in a novel that centered around his sister’s amazingly lucky life. I really like this, because MC is smart, and the face-slapping is about using the law to persecute all the villains, and he only does this after they do something bad (i.e. it’s not like he’s punishing them for their crimes in his past life, grudges aside). ML is a CEO~

After Brushing Face At The Apocalypse’s Boss For 363 Days: the only “apocalypse” novel that I’ve actually read, it’s cool because the main character lives in both the original world and in the apocalypse world, and I thought the interactions of the MC and ML were amusing

Pastel Colours: The MC is a children's book illustrator, the ML works creating robots. Most of this is the MC looking after the ML’s cute little kid. There is angst about MC’s past, but overwhelming a lot of cuteness and love.

E-sport novels:

My Teammates Are All Crazy: This is SO CRACK. The MC plays what is considered the weakest character in the game. And he joins an e-sport team that...likes also to play the most random characters. This is FUN AF. When they start playing, they make the opposing team spit up blood so many times by playing the “weak” or “beginner” characters and completely trashing the opposing team.

The E-Sports Circle’s Toxic Assembly Camp: Here, “toxic” refers more to their trash talk rather than actually being toxic. The MC is the coach of the team, and ML is the team captain. Both of them are really strong gamers.

Glory: The MC...he has such a glib mouth lol, basically flirting (with the ML) 24/7 but this “flirting” is just his admiration for ML. The ML is so conflicted because he likes the MC, but the MC is completely oblivious.

PUBG Online Romance of the Century: ...MC is such a voice con lol. He’s a livestreamer, and his first backer is ML. And ML’s voice...is to die for lolll.

God Level Summoner: If I had to compare any other e-sport novel with The King’s Avatar, it would be God Level Summoner. The MC, an experienced gamer, is collecting a team, and fighting their way up the league! The battles are so detailed, and the MC and ML, although on different teams, are SO OP and BADASS whenever they pair up with each other.

Other:

Beloved Husband: (quick transmigration) A novel from the seme/gong perspective! The premise is that the seme transmigrates into the world, without any memories, but always falls in love immediately with his shou/uke. The previous owner of the body was a scum, but the main character isn’t, and does his best to love his husband~

Live Broadcasting Raising Dragons in the Interstellar: What it says on the tin, lol. It’s an A/B/O setting...that basically doesn’t come up. The MC has transmigrated and retains his abilities from his previous world. But again, it’s not so important, the important point is this calm, serious, somewhat cold-faced MC raises the cutest like dragon orphans and dragon kids. The ML is a dragon (dragons also have human form), and the ML is like...sometimes the smallest baby of all hehe

#asks #fic recs #original fic

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prettywordsyouleft · 3 years

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To Be Continued - Part 7

Summary: As an author, you had created Brian Kang for your current trilogy series to represent the ultimate man that everyone would love, along with Charli Evers - your female protagonist. What you hadn’t expected was for him to find a way out of the story and begin shaping up your world instead

Pairing: Brian Kang x female writer (ft. Park Sungjin)

Genre: writer au / romance / fantasy

Warnings: fictional characters coming to life / a bit of angst here and there / Sungjin as a cop (or does that only affect me?) >_>

Word count: 2198

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Epilogue

It was as if you were writing a new novel. Instead of focusing on how Charli Evers would finally get with her battered beau, you were at the peak of experiencing all the emotions and excitement that came from a new romance. You were enjoying playing the main protagonist for the first time in your life as well.

“What are you doing?” Brian asked with a hint of amusement in his tone. You leaned in even closer, already entangled together on the couch after watching a movie, and lifted your index finger.

“Counting.”

“Counting what?”

“How many lashes I gave you,” you murmured, your gaze honing in on one eye. You let out a whistle when you finished. “I gave you so many! Why are you this perfect?”

“I don’t see myself as perfect at all. You sure made a point of that in my creation, too.”

“How? You’re handsome, protective, honest, playful, charming, sensitive, and did I mention handsome?”

Brian’s lips curled up some from your description. “I think you might have said it twice.”

“Because you truly are that good looking!” you surmised, and Brian chuckled.

“Is being handsome all that matters to you?”

“Well, no.” You blinked a couple of times whilst trying to come up with an answer that didn’t make you feel shallow. The truth was, you really did enjoy looking at him a whole lot.

Over the past two weeks, that was what you had done an awful lot of. No matter what mundane task Brian did, he looked exceptional doing it. His laugh was music to your ears, and his voice made your heart flutter constantly. Any time he smiled, you worried your knees would give way, and on the rare chance they actually did, the way he caught you so easily with his strong embrace had you swooning further.

You wondered if this was all a dream. Instead of Brian coming out of your laptop, and your novel, perhaps you had died from your illness. That would explain why everything lately had felt so heavenly at his side.

Either way, you didn’t want to wake up or move on to the next realm. This was where you wanted to remain forever.

Especially when he kissed you. Leaning in to break you out of your reverie, Brian’s luscious lips pecked yours twice, a chuckle vibrating out of him when you realised you had zoned out again. “You’re too adorable.”

“Hardly.”

“If you keep calling me handsome, I’m allowed to call you how I see you.”

You sighed heavily and attempted to pull away from the man. “I don’t want to be just adorable if you’re handsome, Brian.”

“What do you mean?”

“Charli Evers is beautiful! She’s stunning and successful and has a body that would make any male swoon over her. She’s a goddess, and I’m just adorable.”

“You’re really adorable when you’re jealous,” he mused and shook his head, reaching out to pull you back in close to him again. “Charli isn’t real like you are.”

“What if she comes to her senses and finds out that you’ve left that world. She could come here, and it would be no competition between us!”

“You’re right. It wouldn’t be. Because I’d choose you over her every time.”

You scoffed loudly and pulled yourself away again, going over to the kitchen to get a drink of water to cool down. It was hard enough having insecurities as a person, and when you had lived alone, you barely thought of them, too busy up in worlds like Captivated to truly care. Your flaws, at points, made good fodder for some character traits, but you never wrote yourself fully into a world. You had come close in Destined, but even the main protagonist there was far more charming than you were to hook Park Jinyoung as she had.

Brian’s arms slipped around your waist, and he dropped his chin onto your shoulder. “It’s all about perception. You see Charli as superior to you. But she’s the type of woman you see in a magazine. Flawless, beautiful, and whilst you no doubt have made her relatable to your fans of the series as a person, as she does have a good soul, you are real. You aren’t sculpted to perfection. You aren’t going to star on the front cover of any Vogue or Marie Claire. Instead, you are starring as my leading lady.”

“I’m not sure if I’m flattered or not,” you mumbled, turning around to face Brian. “Maybe I want to be on the front cover.”

“It’s not in your personality to stand out like that. You much prefer this lifestyle. Domestic and homely and comfortable.”

“So she’s sexy, and I’m homely,” you deducted, whilst Brian groaned loudly.

“Can’t we go back to the part where we were thinking of just us? I don’t like you comparing yourself to someone else.”

“I’m sorry,” you admitted, lowering your gaze from his. Brian had a habit of making sure you were always looking at him, and he easily fished out your gaze again, smiling gently when he caught your eye. You sighed. “I guess whilst I made you to be the dream guy for me, and those who read my series, I never quite realised the impact you would have on my world if I actually had you.”

“If I have to make a point of telling you how much I appreciate and adore you daily, then so be it.”

“You shouldn’t have to though,” you pointed out, going around him and heading into your office. Brian followed you and leaned against the threshold as you sat down in your chair.

He nodded his head. “No, I suppose I shouldn’t. But isn’t that what makes a relationship work? I support you, and you support me. When one of us feels lower than the other, then it’s important to make sure they feel cherished and loved.”

“Loved?” you repeated, your eyes widening at his choice of words. Brian cleared his throat noisily, looking around your room as opposed to keeping eye contact. You smirked. He was cute when he was embarrassed.

“Isn’t it time to write, Miss Writer?”

“Perhaps I just got some inspiration for my starting point of Eternity. I mean, in the story, Charli Evers is cherished and loved by Brian Kang, isn’t she?”

“Have your fun at my expense.”

“It’s all those good lines I breathed into you. No wonder you make the world swoon, Brian. You’re full of the perfect lines to make any girl weak at the knee,” you told him as you opened your document for the final piece in this story. Admittedly, it was blank and had remained that way for some time. You knew it was because you were too busy with Brian in person that you couldn’t possibly think about writing about him as well.

However, you had received notice from Lily earlier in the day about your next deadline, and so you had promised after one movie tonight, you would end your evening with starting the next novel.

Glancing over at Brian who was still in the doorway, you smiled, and he nodded. “As long as you know it’s your knees I want to make weak every time. Have a good session, my love.”

However, two days later, you were still staring at a blank page. It wasn’t without trying, of course. You wrote, only to erase the sentence immediately. You told yourself to just let the words flow out and not edit them until you were done. Except nothing but a trickle of nonsense made it onto the document each time and after every gruelling session, you found yourself exhausted, mentally, and from simply staring at a blank page.

In all your years of creative writing, you had never been as stumped as you were now. It made no sense! You were living and breathing your own romance in life. Surely, the amount of affection Brian poured over you would easily inspire you enough to write it out. And generally, when you stepped into your office to write, it came from feeling inspired and uplifted to write about a world where love conquered all.

As soon as you were in front of your laptop, however, words failed you.

You had tried everything, from changing your writing schedule to practising with unrelated scenes. That had you hopeful. Every time you wrote a drabble about something outside of this series, you were capable of penning an entire world. In fact, you had now written a series of short stories about random characters and scenarios with relative ease. The success you felt from doing these was short-lived as soon as you opened Eternity, however. Nothing formed, nothing came to mind.

Nothing.

“Maybe it’s because I don’t want to share Brian with Charli,” you wondered out loud, immediately shaking your head. Whilst the Brian you were falling for fast, was that of the same Brian Charli would risk her all for, inside your literary world, you felt no need to keep him to yourself. You wanted Charli and Brian’s story to wrap up with a neat bow after their final tribulations of proving their love would outshine the obstacles in their way. You were determined to gift your readers what you had planned all along for the star-crossed lovers. And you needed to send Charli off on her merry way with a confirmed end.

Whilst your story with Brian continued.

“Just write something, Y/N!” you instructed yourself to do, poising your fingers above the keys.

It was a struggle, but they began to move, and you hoped this time would be the official start of your novel.

“So, what do you think?” you asked cautiously, staring at Lily as she read over what you had sent her.

Your editor didn’t say a thing, and sometimes that was a good notion. You had rendered her speechless yet again.

However, you knew better than that. She wasn’t speechless, she was in disbelief. Lily finally looked at the web camera on the video call and blinked several times. Pulling off her glasses, she wiped at them before placing them back over her eyes. And then she screamed incoherently.

“Lily, I can explain.”

“You better, and fast,” your editor stated back, trying to recompose herself. “This isn’t your writing.”

“Well, it is,” you told her, attempting to smile. Her laser glare wiped it off your lips, and you groaned. “So I think I’m having a writer’s block.”

“But you don’t suffer from writer’s blocks, you overcome them before they get to that level. What have you been doing for the last month that this is all you can turn in for me to look over?!”

“I’ve been a little preoccupied,” you announced, rocking back and forth in your chair. “And it’s sort of been hard to write.”

“I don’t buy it. You love to write.”

“I mean, I have been writing,” you agreed, grinning sheepishly. “Just not on what I’m contracted to be doing.”

“Y/N!” she whined, and you sighed heavily. “How are you going to make up time if you don’t even have a first chapter formed?!”

“I don’t know exactly, but do you think delaying the third story, especially since my second one is only at the publisher’s now preparing to print, can happen? I’m sure we don’t need to bang this series out one after the other. The hype from the wait will make it only more worthwhile for the fans!”

“Not if you plan on producing this type of rubbish! There’s no life in this part you’ve sent me! It’s as if Brian’s soul was sucked clear of this world and only Charli remains.”

You choked on the drink you had reached for, and this alerted the man in the adjacent room, your hands waving him off inconspicuously before Lily saw him.

You didn’t know what your editor’s reaction would be to find out your writer’s block stemmed from you dating someone. And you certainly didn’t want to find out either.

“That’s it, I’m coming over!”

“Lily, that’s unnecessary. You don’t have to!”

“Oh, but I do. My star writer is fumbling around and not focusing enough on what she needs to be doing. Boot camp is on its way.”

“I could help her,” a new voice added to the conversation and you clamped your eyes shut as you heard the wind being knocked out of Lily entirely. Brian crouched down at your side and smiled at the camera. “Lily Morton, correct?”

“You know my name.”

“Of course. You’re an important figure in my life.”

“I… I am?!”

“I mean, you help Y/N with her stories a whole deal, so that’s a special role to have.”

“Y/N, who is this person? He looks far too familiar and yet I feel I haven’t quite met him in the flesh before.”

“It’s a--” Catching yourself from your stalemate sentence, you smiled. And for some reason, you felt compelled to introduce him properly to someone. Before you even realised it, the words fell from your mouth.

“You’ve kind of met him already, Lily. This is Brian Kang, the star of our series.”

_________________

Part 8

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#kwritersworldnet #young k #young k fiction #young k fanfic #young k fluff #young k romance #young k au #day6 #day6 fiction #day6 fanfic #day6 fluff #day6 romance #day6 au #pwyl; to be continued #kpop fiction #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff #kpop romance

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good-forthe-weekend · 3 years

Text

Okay, so like, this blog has low key become an ACOTAR theory/headcanon blog. But here we go again. Because I’ve been thinking about the remaining books/novella, and what might be obvious about what the next book may be. So stick with me on this one, but here’s how I hope it plays out. (Gonna be really long, because 3 books worth of theories, so gonna make it a read more post)

Let’s start with what I’d like the books to be (not in a demanding bitchy way, just what I generally hope for)

Books 5 and 6 (in no particular order): Azriel, Elain/Lucien

Novella: Feyre’s pregnancy from her/Rhys’ perspective

While books 5 and 6 could be in any order, depending on the overarching plot with Koschei and everything, I really think the next book is going to be about Az. I know that the 2 main contenders for obvious choices are Az and Elain, but I don’t think their stories are meant to be told together. Their arcs are completely different. Az needs to be someone’s first choice and get over 500 years of darkness and self hatred, whereas Elain needs to find her own agency. Here’s how I’d do those things.

Az’s story, to me, is rooted in self worth. I don’t think he has much. I think that the events of his life have done everything to convince him that no matter how much good he does, no matter how many people love him, he will never be good enough. Similar to Nesta, tbh. Just rooted in different places. His family loathed him, Mor’s been stringing him along for 500 years, and most people value him for what his shadow singer abilities can do for them. I think his story should revolve around him finding self worth, and being his own first choice, but also realizing how inherently valuable he is to everyone around him. (If we get a brothers bonding moment in Az’s book, I will cry my eyes out in the best way) Now *personally*, as a lover of Gwyn, I would love to see her tie into Az’s story. (NOTE: No hate for any shippers, Gwynriel, Elriel, Elucien, idc. They’re all valid, this is a respect only zone. This is simply my personal opinion on what *I* would like to see) Gwyn has also been shown to need some help in the self worth category. She literally says how she believes she’s a bad person for not being able to save her twin. So I’d love if her and Az have parallel stories in Az’s book. Romance or not. Actually, I’d love to see them grow side by side without having to be all horny all the time. I’d love if Gwyn prioritizes her mental health and growth above having a relationship, and tells Az that she cares for/loves him, but needs time to herself before getting into a relationship. Mates wise, I do see the merit in the Gwynriel mates theories. (I’ll get into why I don’t like Elain as Az’s mate later. But also, I have no problem with Elriel, I just don’t like the idea of them being meant to be mated. Although I have this evil!Elain idea brewing in my head that would fit with Elriel being supposed to be mates that the cauldron effed up) but I also am on the fence about it, because even with my own headcanon about ACOTAR mates, I’m still getting a little tired of every single romance having to be mated.

For Elain, I have 2 theories that I favor. Either she gets kidnapped by Koschei, and her story is a loose retelling of Swan Lake, or she ends up going to the Spring Court, and we get Beauty and The Beast part 2, but different this time. Either way, I want her story to give her some damn agency and flesh out her character as more than the Cosette character whose whole personality is “Well, I went through a trauma and stayed kind”. Because there’s a way to do that meaningfully, but since it’s been coupled with her being a character that simply does not do anything for herself, it falls flat for me.

Also, side note about Elriel being mates who the cauldron messed up. I don’t care for that. First of all, I don’t think that the cauldron picked Nesta and Elain’s mates when they were Made. Which I mention in my personal theory on ACOTAR Mates, which I linked above. I think that the Cauldron picks mates when you’re born, which would mean that Elain and Lucien were always meant to be mates. Besides which, while I’m not a rabid supporter of either ship at this point, I see what people are saying about it not being a good thing that Az’s shadows disappear when Elain is around. His shadows are a part of him, they’re his friends. So I think it’s better for them to respond well to someone’s presence than disappear entirely. Also, with the light singer theories (which I see on both Gwynriel and Elriel sides), in ACOSF, it’s said that light singers weren’t good. They were beings that looked kind but ultimately were evil, just like shadow singers look all bad, but ultimately Az is an extremely kind, empathetic person with a savior complex. So, unless you want to make your fave be secretly evil (which, again fits in with this evil!Elain theory I’ve been stewing on lately) it’s probably not a good idea to say they’re ‘the light singer to Az’s shadowsinger’. ALSO ALSO. Azriel deserves to be someone’s first choice. Not their 3rd, behind the guy that the universe destined them for AND the human that they still aren’t entirely over. Azriel isn’t a ‘well, since there’s no one else to choose, I GUESS’. Azriel is someone who deserves, and should be loved as a first choice. And no matter if that person is Gwyn or not, we should see someone fall for him as a first and only choice.

Anyway, if she got kidnapped by Koschei, I’d like for everyone to freak out and be trying to save her (Lucien included, because protective fae mate), but Elain ends up saving her damn self. Without anyone knowing until she just sort of shows up somewhere in Prythian. Whereupon everyone is like “You escaped Koschei?????”, and Elain just responds “What, like it’s hard?”. I don’t have too many specifics in mind for this theory, but yeah, I’d love if that were to happen. I can even see a path for Elain and Lucien to fall for each other in that scenario, I just can’t find a way to verbalize it.

Alternatively, and hear me out on this one, I would love for her to go to the Spring Court. SJM keeps putting connections between Elain and Spring, and has even had several characters say she’d love the Spring Court. She doesn’t belong in the Night Court. And I would love, and again hear me out here, for her to help Tamlin. I know, I’m not his biggest fan either. But I don’t want him dying alone and angry either. He was an ass, and reacted poorly to many things, but I want him to grow from that. And learn how to be a better person. And not be so overprotective. How does Elain fit into this? Well, I’m not sure how to get her there, but I would love for her to end up in Spring Court, where she befriends him. Friends. Nothing more. Not a drop more. In fact, I want Tamlin to make an advance on her, thinking that he’s falling for her, only for Elain to be like “Dude, you only think you like me because I’m the one who’s been helping you, but we’re friends. We wouldn’t work as more.” Or even vice-versa. Either way, I would LOVE to have a story about a character coming into their own without a big romance, and frankly after the way Elain has treated Lucien and Az, she can stay alone (as much as I think her and Lucien would be cute together). But I also think that Elain befriending Tamlin, and eventually becoming a member of his court, could lead to some nice healing places for Feyre, and would afford her the opportunity to actually confront Tamlin about everything they went through. (It would also be cool if Tamlin made her High Lady of Spring, without them being together. Idk, I think it would be cool for him to abandon tradition so much when he held it up to a toxic level before)

‘But how does Lucien come into this?’ I hear literally no one asking because this post is so fucking long already. Well, beloved reader of this bullshit, I simply want him to officially be able to move on. I want him and Elain to have arcs that happen at the same time, and are tied loosely together, but are ultimately separate. I want Elain to find agency and finally make up her mind, and I want Lucien to call her out on stringing him along. And I ultimately want him to find peace. (And for him to find out he’s Helion’s son in the messiest way possible, but I digress) I really just want Lucien to ride off into the metaphorical sunset and be happy and content and finally value himself. If Elain is in the Spring Court, maybe call out Tamlin for the way that he abused Lucien too. As long as he ends up happy, I’m cool with it.

Also, I want a comeuppance for Mor/Eris. They’ve been hinting at something for several books now, and I damn well want to see what’s behind those hints. (I also low key want the Eris/Mor comeuppance to cause a confrontation between Az/Mor/Cass about their weird dynamic and how toxic it was, and how it kinda made Mor treat Nesta like shit. I just really want Cass to officially choose Nesta in front of the IC, esp Mor. I think it’s important for their relationship. I could go on and on about that tho.)

Personally, I kind of want Mor and Eris to have been Mates. Not only because I already ship Mor/Emerie and want to see a mated pair that don’t end up together, but I think there’s a ton of opportunity for angst there. Maybe they fell for each other, never actually let the mating bond fully set (because, up until this point we’ve never seen a mating bond click into place without sex, which we know they never had), and Mor realized that no matter how much she cared for Eris, she was in fact gay, and so she slept with Cass, and you know the rest of her story there. Eris didn’t care, and told his father that he would marry her anyway because they were in love (I don’t think he’d play his full hand and admit to being un-mated mates because it would put Mor in a whole new level of danger). Beron basically told Eris that under no circumstances would he marry Mor, and told him to abandon her completely. With a threat to Mor’s safety thrown in there for good measure (like “Go ahead, marry her. See exactly what will befall her her in the Autumn Court. It will not go well” except more eloquent and shit) When Mor’s family dumped her, I don’t think that he found her first with people with him. I think he would have found her shortly after she got left, and he’d have been alone. So he found a way to tip off Az that she was there, and staged it to look like he found her and semi-publicly abandoned her completely. Idk, I just feel like there’s a lot more to the story than we know, and given how extremely Mor responds to someone who never actually laid hands on her, I think there’s more to why she does that. Maybe it’s because she knows he’s her mate, and is terrified he’s going to get spiteful and let that info slip. I kind of want this to be a situation to be one where she didn’t outright lie about what happened, just the context, because she knew if the context was revealed, then she’d be forced to come out, so she lied by omission.

Personally, I would love for this to be a not insignificant piece of Az’s book, because I think there’s a not insignificant part of his personality that’s been influenced by Mor, so whatever comeuppance that Cass/Az/Mor have (and I’m praying they do), I hope it’s not just glossed over. I also wouldn’t hate if this story was told in the novella, but I also really want to see Feyre and Rhys’ side of their pregnancy story (I think it would be weird to have such a significant plot for them told during someone else’s story, and not give us Feyre and Rhys’ perspective). And that would really only fit in either a novella or bonus short story. Also, I think that Feyre’s pregnancy would make a better novella, and Mor/Eris would fold nicely into the plot of a book.

So yeah, there’s my ridiculously long rundown on what I want to happen/my theories for the rest of the ACOTAR series. Feel free to add/dissect/interact/tell me I’m horridly wrong. I wanna talk about these books at length so bad

#acotar #acowar #acomaf #acofas #acosf #feyre archeron #rhys #cassian #azriel #mor #eris #lucien #vanserra #beron #emerie #gwyn #nesta #elain #tamlin #theory #headcanon

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