Tumgik
#that it would be awful for posting online..
Text
lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3
i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:
Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.
Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey
My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time
The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.
One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain
I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬
I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho
That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration
my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!
new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘
Tumblr media Tumblr media
379 notes · View notes
rodenka · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
the teeth have long departed
but the desire burns strong
23 notes · View notes
aimasup · 6 months
Text
sure i COULD ramble about how ai is one of the multiple things that check all the marks of humanity's seven deadly sins but would that be extreme
Tumblr media
^^^ possibly insufficiently educated
#the pride the hubris of believing you can do better than innovation and nature by playing god and not in the fun way#the lust it's being used for in so many awful cases#the sloth the way its encouraging everyone to check original sources less before believing anything. Also to not take time to develop skill#the greed its being used for profit without consideration for ethics or fair labour#gluttony. we always have to be faster. shinier. better. no matter if it ends up being less convenient or wonky#the wrath it sows in between people creating more differences to be frustrated over. more hatred#the envy how it takes and takes. always trying to be as clever as the best humans. as beautiful as a real forest or sunset.#do you think the ai wants itself#if this were a scifi movie would we be the bad guys#but this is not a movie and the ai cannot love us. so we cannot love it. and there's that#my post#personal stuff#thinking aloud just silly yapping n jazz 没啥事做就这样咯~#( ̄▽ ̄)~*#when i was in primary school our textbooks for chinese had short stories and articles to learn about#there was a fictional scifi oneshot about a family in the future going to the zoo#the scifi zoo trip was going great until the zoo's systems went offline for a moment#and it was revealed that all the animals roaming in their enclosures were holograms#the real ones went extinct ages ago#when the computers came back online the holograms returned and there they were#honestly at first I thought it was a bit exaggerating#but I still think about it once in a while
99 notes · View notes
randomwords247 · 10 months
Text
Cooking and baking
A small pet peeve of mine with cooking and baking is when recipes say the container rather than the amount
Like, instead of saying "500ml of cream" you say "a pot of cream". Or "a whole can of corn". Like okay which kind of can??? What amount???? Corn comes in more than one size you can't just tell me a can. PLEASE i am begging you tell me the WEIGHT
This is especially a problem with recipes from different countries, for example America. Because your stick of butter is different to our butter. STOP SAYING STICK OF BUTTER TELL ME THE QUANTITY IN GRAMS PLEASE I HAVE A FAMILY
that being said I feel like I see this crop up in like american recipes in particular. Idk if I've ever seen a recipe in one of our cookbooks that does this....
anyway please just tell me the gosh darn weight I am dying here I have a family I JUST NEED TO KNOW THE WEIGHT
#ramble post#randy rambles#recipes#cooking#baking#'a stick of butter' is the worst for repeat offender i see that crap everywhere in american recipes#JUST SAY THE AMOUNT#like even if a recipe here uses 250g of butter (our butter is in 250g idk what size american butter is) IT SAYS USE 250G OF BUTTER#actually tbf i think butter size is not something thats like fully conventional cuz i just googled lurpack and it says that one is 200g#fun fact our butter isnt a long weird stick like americans. why is your butter like that that looks awful to get on a knife to spread#ours is still rectangular its just like more square#ALSO LIKE IDM CUPS. I have measuring cups that have cups AND ml. I WOULD GLADLY TAKE MEASURING IN CUPS OVER 'STICK OF BUTTER' 'CAN OF CORN'#also for the record what spurred this on is i asked someone for their recipe of something and half the stuff is quantified in this way.#'1 box jiffy cornbread mix' what the frick is that please i have a family#like no hate to them lemme be clear but also WHY ARE AMERICAN RECIPES LIKE THIS IM CRYING#i could be wrong that its just american recipes but i SWEAR ive never seen this in any of our british cookbooks but everytime i try and loo#up an american recipe online or ask an american friend for a recipe they give me quantities like this and im over here quietly dying as i#try and decipher what the frick they just told me to use. what is going on why are recipes there like this#(also idk if they do it for cream i just wanted to give an example that wasnt just can of corn or can of soup)#(SOUP AND CORN COME IN MULTIPLE CAN SIZES YOURE HELPING NOBODY SAYING JUST 'A CAN')
112 notes · View notes
soupmanspeaks · 5 months
Text
you ever wonder if the Glamrocks's face tracking acts up when they look at Glamrock-Freddy, like they'll look at his face, and the recognition will register as Freddy, but their systems for whatever reason or another think that there is a face overlapped on Freddy's do you think they see two small squares next to him, at his side, roughly child sized, but no one is physically there.... right...?
#fnaf#michael afton#five nights at freddy’s#glammike#crying child#elizabeth afton#i wanted to allude something to william but idk#would the glamrocks go into the sinkhole? maybe#maybe next to glamrock freddy alongside the weird overlapping face he has and the two kid height faces#there is a face tracking box next to him...standing#remember that post about the ghost hunters comin to the pizza plex? maybe the weird face tracking happens too...#im watching garret watts and Andrew's constant facial tracking anomalies inspired this post lol#anyways i really like the thought that despite being the most friendly Glamrock; Freddy has this......feeling about him#his AI was made just this year! programmed with cutting edge and top of the line technology!#then....then why does he go off script sometimes? why does he say things that wasn't programmed show dialogue?#how does he know about Mr. Afton? the killer from the 80's who committed heinous deeds?#Why does he speak as if he knew him personally? if his AI is just pulling stuff from online; Why does he speak with resentment about him?#IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THE CONCEPT!!#like just because this franchise has gotten more neon and sugery than ever; remember; lights can be blinding and sugar causes cavities#idk what that means just omg there is more horror potential than you think in the SB era of games if you look hard enough#off topic but back to freddy being a sweetie pie i think that its funny okay#freddy sasses adults okay okay but he isnt mean to kids okay maybe michael just idk; MATURED? maybe he just got some whimsy mkay?#listen if i was forced to be in a perpetual cycle of atoning for my own and my father's sins i would find any and all silver linings mkay#aw yeah this is sick i get to be a freddy mercury inspired glamrock bear WOOO#granted michael was probably tired of animatronic bands and pizza by fnaf 6 but ykkkkkkkk it.....could be worse? he could be his dad lmao#anyways headcannon michael listend to freddy mercury and this is the equivalent of cosplaying him scott told me so (trust)#tag rambles! theyre fun lol
39 notes · View notes
forcedhesitation · 3 months
Text
maaaaaaaaaaan. ridiculous to be calling DBD "pathetic" because it couldn't get licensing for various final girls. as if it hasn't always been because of some bullshit on the end of the copyright holders. fuck, we would have gotten more material from Hellraiser, had it not been for the copyright holders. we lost Stranger Things temporarily because of the copyright holders being out of touch with fans and greedy. Ghostface exists in the game because luckily, the character of Ghostface isn't actually owned by Big Bad Viacrap.
also like. DBD isn't Fork Knife. it's just not. and if I'm not mistaken-- it's not like Fork Knife has any horror character that DBD doesn't, apart from Eleven and Hopper. Eleven could never be in the game anyway, because any character added has to be over 18/a legal adult (for legal reasons). and we have Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan instead. It makes much more sense that they chose those characters for the game, as this followed S2, which made Steve one of the most popular characters from the show. so much so that he can even contend with Eleven in popularity.
and let's not downplay the fact that DBD does have other, very, very impressive licenses in it. such as Silent Hill. that was the first big thing Konami let happen with the ip in YEARS. Resident Evil was...HUGE. Wesker's chapter brought in an unprecedented number of players and anyone who played survivor at that time knows that for WEEKS, all you would get was Wesker after Wesker. We have Chucky and Tiffany, voiced by their original VAs. Sadako from the original Japanese Ringu, not the American version of the same concept! You can play as the Xenomorph, and the Xenomorph Queen! Vecna, from D&D is a killer, and he is voiced by Mr. Matt Mercer! We have Ash Williams, Alan Wake, Leon. S. Kennedy, Cheryl Mason, and very soon Lara Croft! and then After her-- we are getting Castlevania!! So there is no shortage of incredible of characters from horror that are in this game, and it's disrespectful to act like the people who work on this game don't care enough about it to try their fucking hardest to give fans the best possible licensed chapter dlcs they can. it's not their fault if the copyright holders want something different.
Besides, I think it's gross to suggest that DBD doesn't have a claim to the title of "Horror Hall of Fame" just because it doesn't have specific licensed characters in it. what about all the amazing original characters that the game has? do those suddenly not count, just because they do not include super well-known characters from popular old horror movies? A lot of these popular old horror movies don't include/don't give much of a spotlight to people of colour, so the original chapters often give the devs the room to add diversity to DBD's cast of characters, whereas a license might have otherwise not allowed it. and many of these original characters even have nods to existing horror media, like the End Transmission chapter drawing inspiration from both the horror-survival game SOMA, and the sci-fi horror movie/comic book Virus. Does the hard work that the many talented members of the DBD team put into making this original chapter, among many others, mean nothing, just because Sidney Prescott or Sally Hardesty aren't in the fucking game? I should hope the fuck not.
#dbd#thoughts about media#I just wanted to see if there were any updates about the timeline for the cosmetic contest!#or if there was going to be an extension for the anniversary event!#but I was tempted with the “this post is from an account you blocked”#normally I wouldn't click this. but it's DBD. and well I was curious who it could have been from.#hilariously enough this person wasn't blocked for previous bad takes about the game.#I'm pretty sure this is the same person who made an awful ST tweet and then rescinded it upon being corrected.#like...this opinion about DBD isn't necessarily like...uncommon or unbelievably evil or something.#a lot of people don't know the trials and tribulations the team has to deal with when trying to secure copyrights.#but it also isn't hard to infer??? that securing a license isn't necessarily easy??#the issues with the Hellraiser and Stranger Things licences were fairly public. I thought that would have clued people in.#Mr. Cote even spoke on multiple occasions about how badly he wanted ST back but it was Netflix that wouldn't budge.#also Ghostface being owned by Funworld and not Paramount has been repeated ad nauseam by now.#it. just.... it wouldn't KILL people to do a little research before posting terrible opinions online.#but honestly what annoys me most of all about this is that it tries to undercut all the other great things about DBD.#there are so many awesome characters in it-- both licensed and original.#why the FUCK would you try to downplay that just because your favourite final girl isn't in the game?#who gives a fuck. we have plenty of other super awesome women in the game. get over yourself.
10 notes · View notes
yardsards · 8 months
Text
living alone is all fun and games til you have a medical emergency and there's no one there to help you to the hospital
#eliot posts#im fine now it's just last week's Incident fucked me up a lil#a couple online friends offered to call me an uber#and i maybe could have woken my neighbors up (though i would have felt awful abt that)#but while i was figuring out how to get to the hospital and if i'd be able to like#verbally communicate to whoever was driving where to take me#and explain to the doctors what was wrong with me#and fill out the entrance paperwork#and find my wallet/insurance card and my housekeys before i left#...i had gone unconscious before i could make the decision to find someone to take me#luckily i was mostly fine after i woke up#i knew it wasn't an ''i'm gonna die if i don't go to the hospital'' type medical emergency so i didn't call an ambulance#bc i was not abt to bankrupt myself unless i was Literally Dying#but yeah. eugh. 0/10 do not recommend.#at the VERY LEAST i'm gonna need to have good friends that live very close in the future#i don't want this kind of thing happening to me again#i am gonna be roommates with a very good friend in a few months after i move to the city#and then i'm probably gonna be roommates with a different very good friend in a couple years when i leave the state#both mostly out of financial necessity for us all#but also i thiiink i want to go back to living alone eventually?#unless living with friends goes so great that it changes my mind#it's just like. for the most part i've loved living alone#not just in a ''yay i'm no longer living with my abusers!'' way but like. in general.#i can do whatever the fuck i want in my apartment without having to talk to anyone#chores get done when i want. food gets cooked and eaten when i want. i can take a 2 hour bath no problem. i don't have to close doors.#i can walk around late at night without having to worry about waking anyone up.#when my social battery is drained i know that no one will try to talk to me. when im overstimulated i don't have to tell anyone to be quiet#it's like. the thing with me is every social interaction has a timer where i start thinking#''GOD i cannot fucking wait to go be alone in my nice empty apartment again''#that timer is much longer for some people and situations than others but it is always There even when i'm having a great time
9 notes · View notes
avi-on-jumblr · 8 months
Text
sometimes i think back to my grade 7 self who took like 2 political compass quizzes that aligned me with like. fucking noam chomsky. whom i had never heard of before that moment. and how i went around for like half a year going "oh yeah i'm basically exactly like him politically" and saying i was an anarcho-communist because i thought that meant "like, uh, everyone gets equal things and it's all nice and happy and good and stuff".
anyways i think back and cry.
11 notes · View notes
perilegs · 3 months
Text
i'm such a greenpilled dark jade maxxer but i think ive made people associate me with blue a bit too much. my icon? blue. my blog? blue. my choice of board game pieces? blue. my reason for wanting to be player one in most games? having a blue character. why i want to play as player 2 in super mario for wii? blue toad.
#why is my online and game presence so blue#irl im out there with my green bed and green eyes and green emotional support water bottle and dreams of more#green furniture and my green phone theme and ok. i mostly wear black but most of my clothes that are of a color are green#when i was a kid i always saved these colored pencils of a specific shade of green (dark jade) bc they were so pretty to me#i never said it was my favorite color bc it was so special to me it was a secret favorite color#besides i didnt care for all green as much as thay shade as a kid#now however? i think id say green if someone asked me my fave color#you guys know the post about not having a fave color and someone guessing ita yellow and that becoming ur fave?#i think a similar thing happened to me#some years ago i wa shopping with a friend and she suggested i try something green bc itd match my eyes#and before that moment i was still in my dark jade green is my secret fave color phase#and i also thought green would look awful on me bc im so red (bc of acne. and getting flushed easy. i dont think my undertone is red.)#but it didnt! and the friend complimented me on how much it made my eyes pop out#and then i started looking at green things a bit more and it kind of escalated from there yknow#its fun when something that doesnt mean anything (in a neutral way) to someone. just a one off thought. makes something click in ur brain#leevi talks#man idk what iim even talking abiut here im so incredibly sleepy rn gn everyone
6 notes · View notes
lordsardine · 1 month
Text
.
5 notes · View notes
poppyseed799 · 3 months
Text
I think one of the weirdest signs that I was trans was that I was fine with being called a woman but NOT a cis woman. I felt awful cuz I was like “do I have a problem with people calling me cis even tho I am???” cuz I am NOT someone who minds being called accurate descriptors such as cis. I felt like I just wanted to be special or something even tho that wasn’t it and felt so bad. Something just felt really wrong about being called a CIS woman. Definitely one of the more thought provoking signs I was trans lol
#was it cuz ‘cis’ implied I had accepted it? idk cuz I WAS fine with being a woman (as far as I knew)#just some weird subconscious thing I guess. I remember admitting it to my sister at the time lol#I don’t think there are rlly many other interesting signs for me tbh. except that I only corrected ppl online when they called me he if it#either went on so long that I felt bad for them OR we were arguing and I needed something new for them to be wrong about lmao#but similar to the actual post there is ONE thing I still find interesting. which is I watched a gacha cringe video (some were ridiculous#but I often defended them) and there were some where it said ‘I wish I was a boy so I could be gay’ and everyone’s like being disgusted by#this presumably little girl acting like she’s the creepiest fujoshi ever but LITERALLY I’ve had similar thoughts. anything that starts with#‘I wish I was a boy’ obviously has trans implications even if you don’t like what comes after it lol. but like honestly. I would imagine#myself in relationships with guys (mostly fictional characters as u do) and I just hated the idea that it was straight#like same situation as the post. I felt awful cuz I would be FINE with being straight (which I knew I wasn’t anyways) so why did I need to#be special or whatever? it’s cuz just like the post that WASNT the problem. it just felt wrong to me that I wasn’t a boy. so I BASICALLY#wanted to be a boy so I could be in a mlm relationship just like those gachas. it’s just a roundabout way of realizing ur trans.#to be clear I very much had to imagine myself as a guy (typically another fictional character DUH) in order to enjoy it at all#I just realized this sounds sexual. most of it wasn’t actually but the rest is my business LMAOO
2 notes · View notes
zoekrystall · 7 months
Text
Saw certain tweets and here once again a reminder which a twt mutual luckily wrote shorter than I could (plus public so I can rb bc no way I do that myself on that site)
Tumblr media
Also
Tumblr media
And if you want smth I wrote myself which is longer and not just abt that here you go
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#a wild lux appears#I think they're one mutual who is fine w being screenshotted ik some don't want that#I wrote that bsky thing while waiting for food. Reg the fellow person I talk abt don't bash ppl that already spoke up and stop for a bit#To rb more later. Or ppl that still go to work bc they can't afford not to bc the thing by these actions is community isn't there as net#Or like anyone that shows they care and didn't do anything harmful and just take recharge time or so#Educate willing(!) ppl nicely and don't bash them or send a internet mob to them etc#The ones posting they still go to/buy boycott stuff yeah they're awful but what does bashing them bring at the end of the day#Don't support those ppl yeah but them posting that shows how much they care for it. They prob just want cloud which you give them.#Pressure ppl in power in a way they can't ignore focus on that not no name individuals#If ppl you know talk in private and if they don't want to change literally just cut them out of your life if possible#Online just block. Don't argue w people that just want to stir smth up etc etc#Also I don't think it's too productive to be mad when a standard user anywhere doesn't share stuff. Like yeah give them info abt that but#some either just do smth offline (in that case maybe tell them in this case just sharing online is also helpful) or are mentally too done#and focus all energy to survive (which is intended by the ppl in power. make ppl so done they only have energy to survive themselves so they#don't have energy to speak up abt problems in the world). Bashing famous ppl is completely different bc backlash actually brings smth there.#More ppl could do more if strike organizations would include community care so more actually could not go to work/shopping#Also reg protests so they should know do you know how many don't watch news anymore (I don't watch tv since many years)#I'm sure some also just can't esp younger ppl if they're parents monitor their socials and are zionists#Ofc speak up. I'm just here to say there are explanations. If they read things and still don't care unfollow/block/mute/idc or if you know#Them talk and explain how if is important they speak up#This has been going on for a good while now idk how many still don't know I am mostly pointing that out for new or not as much shared things#Tho I'm sure many don't know bc the standard response is the gov knows what he does and they do propaganda#They think surely the gov takes care of that. If they shut down convos reg that then that is dangerous denialism and living in escapism n#All. Not if the ppl who follow this need a break w fiction or so. I am sure the ppl you try to reach w bashing already muted/blocked all#accs and words associated w that#Anyways I gotta shower now. Disclaimer my personal opinion be an asshole and it's block on sight yada yada.#I just woke up I'm hungry I need to shower but that is also when I decide to share my pieces so
3 notes · View notes
8lah8lah · 1 year
Text
"both sides of shipcourse are wrong" says person about to not bat a fucking eye when someone on one side gets chased off the fucking internet and doxxed and told they deserve assault for liking ships that are abusive in a way they dont immediately understand/relate to. "shipping discourse is just sooo dumb and immature" says person about to fucking gasp and scream and tell all their mutuals and post "STOP putting ***** on my dash in 202_" vagues like A Gross Drawing Existing In The World is going to singlehandedly groom and traumatize and enable and Normalize everything for everyone on the planet simultaneously for simply being put out there and it being out there is a category 10000 mental safety hazard that they must bravely defend people from. "youre stupid if you care about ship discourse lmao" posts brave tumblr user about to get really upset publically over One person they saw shipping a like, 4-year age gap between two fictional chars that's there if you Squint, an opinion that Clearly has NOTHING to do with very specifically one side of the discourse
12 notes · View notes
vaugarde · 7 months
Text
let me tell you it is so easy to tell when some people went to high school in a super liberal area or didnt suffer from bigotry there.
5 notes · View notes
vulpinesaint · 2 years
Text
my toxic trait is that i think alastor hazbin hotel is cool actually. sorry for not being immune to the red-coded new orleans serial killer with a jazz age radio-based persona and character design meant to evoke the image of a deer. not like he's fucking tailor made to cater to my interests or anything. AND he's ace
18 notes · View notes
hexjulia · 1 year
Text
i think i might be willing to pay money never to have to hear the word "nourishing" when someone is describing art again. that's a word for soup. unless the art in question is edible but imo only if i'm allowed to eat it and it's filling
6 notes · View notes