#that lack of transformative stuff happening To them that manifests this physical sense of 'are these men or are these monsters'

[monster-noises]

I know I've made like.. this exact post like four other times but it's gunna keep coming back up until I Figure It Out so.. I have been on and off thinking about the actually solid Idea I had for remaking FaHI as an Original text (along side or after FaHI Proper is written) And I think where I've ended up with it is pretty good! It captures a lot of the same themes and the bones of the thing and I like it! And Yet........ I don't think it is possible to 1 to 1 translate FaHI, it will always Loose Things, very very important things that will always make it a Completely Different Story. The same heart around the same ideas, in the broadest sense, but as soon as you take it out of exactly Where and What It Is it becomes something completely different.. Like you can't hit Any of the same story beats in the same way.. The structure of the environment is different so the way everyone interacts changes and thus shifts every important interpersonal moment.. the situation with the mold and the magic changes and changes the characters themselves in inherent ways that change how they interact with the world and each other but I have to change these things else it will be Very Obvious What This Was.. not a revolutionary concept by any means but I'm not entirely sure what to do with it.... FaHI; the fanwork is a story I Very much love and want to share as the fanwork that it is but there's a lot about FaHI that I love and Wish dearly I could share in a professional or personal context and I simply can't as much because of it's limitations as a fanwork... and I want to split the difference but ooo it always feels like I'm loosing so much.. GRAH!!

[twistedastrology]

Outer Planets & Affliction: What destroys a man.

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gonna talk abt a much darker topic today bc i feel like it and it's absolutely fascinating to me from a very morbid perspective (which happens a lot 4 me)

im gonna start this off by saying this is mostly focusing on extreme cases/what Could happen due to outer planet affliction, none of this is definite if u have afflicted outer planets bc it depends on the severity of their affliction and how many good counter aspects u have to them that help u heal!! :)

to start, the outer planets to me are Saturn to Pluto, so let me give u a quick rundown of what I think these planets are responsible for when they're heavily afflicted:

Saturn - Destruction of the will, the snuffing of one's inner, driving fire.

Uranus - Destruction of the mind, losing your cognitive function, going insane.

Neptune - Destruction of the spirit, loss or lack of intuition, feeling lost within your own life.

Pluto - Destruction of the body, the vessel decays and lacks the strength to repair itself.

i wanna say as well that all of this essentially came to me in a vision from god, i genuinely had no basis in my head initially, i was just rambling to myself in my head and all of this clicked and then it genuinely made sense and i even had evidence to back it up, so i wanted to post abt it because i love dark stuff like this (my blog name isn't twisted astrology for no reason- i mean like the reason was bc it was a play on twist and twisted transistor by korn But yknow it gains reasons as i go on-)

let's go over why each planet destroys what they do:

Saturn destroys the will because it rules over time and persistance- Capricorns are more often than not very driven people, Saturn grounds them and gives them the stability and willpower to see things through. A strong Saturn is often manifested as a very powerful driving force, as the planet often acts an incredibly crucial pillar, if not the foundation in a person's chart.

Uranus destroys the mind because it's the higher octave of Mercury. It rules over innovation and change, even higher thought. A strong Uranus is often an indicator of a genius in whatever area of life the planet is placed into. Thus, when afflicted, it completely shatters and even lacks this potential altogether.

Neptune destroys the spirit because it's known as the planet of spirituality. It's the planet of our higher self and our shadow self, it's our connection to the planes of existence beyond our own. A strong Neptune is often indicative of enhanced intuition, and can even mean the person has a heightened level of awareness of their place in the world and where they're meant to be in life. So naturally, an afflicted Neptune means a complete lack of perspective and the loss/lack of the ability to realize there is more than the self, making one feel lonely, inadequate, and lost.

Pluto destroys the body because it rules over death, transformation and rebirth. It even rules over destruction itself, and its connection to death gives it an inherent connection to the physical body as well. A strong Pluto can manifest as a strong will, but also as a higher pain tolerance because of that. Therefore when it's afflicted, the soul's vessel lacks the ability to transform and regenerate itself effectively, and ultimately will crumble to pieces throughout the course of life.

OK- lemme write normally now instead of all fancy n shit 😮‍💨 But what's my evidence to prove all this-

well someone i know has very heavily afflicted outer planets, mainly saturn, uranus and pluto, but neptune was kinda roped into the affliction as well- and all of this checks out.

saturn especially hits him hard, which also makes it all karmic so idk wtf bro did in a past life but it had to've been Bad bc he's got some SERIOUSLY afflicted outer planets like jesus fucking christ- and like i dont wanna talk too much shit on here but he's insufferable to say the least and, probably bc of the afflicted saturn, will not do the work to fix it.

would genuinely hate to be him on his death bed like 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

ANYWAY-

like i said initially tho this does not mean if u have a kinda afflicted uranus, ur gonna go insane!!! no sir!!! it's just abt the extremes n stuff and what i have literally seen happen with my own eyes- i think most people have enough soft aspects to get them into the process of healing, maybe not even soft aspects maybe just solid placements- it's all subjective, rly-

but this is also a really good way to talk abt the Power that these planets have- they are NOT to be fucked with bc when afflicted, they can obliterate you and your entire life tbh- i dont think they Want to unless you somehow have beef with them but overall they are just incredibly powerful planets and i truly think when reading someone's astrology chart, you GOTTA look at the outer planets bc otherwise you're missing out on SOOOOO much crucial information.

i always say that i think outer planets, whether in transit or in a natal chart, have the absolute MOST impact on a person despite being so far away.

far away ≠ lack of impact.

i hope this was interesting to read or at least thought provoking bc i absolutely LOVE dark topics like these, probably my moon/neptune in my 8th house tbh- i mean im genuinely fucking petrified of tornadoes like lilapsophobia type shit but i still put that image here because i unfortunately think they are really fucking cool at the same time (ive had multiple nightmares where tornadoes have killed me. but like........ they're kinda cool......and i hate them........)

anyway!!!!! thank u for reading this far into my yapping session 🙏🙏

[honeypirate]

Superpowers I Like

An ongoing list of superpowers i like. most from superpower wiki, the stuff in () are my thoughts, the rest from the website’s linked. sometimes powerlisting changes the names so if the link doesnt work let me know ad i’ll update. 

Let me know if you use any and tag me in the fics you write!

Geometric Physiology

Transform yourself or objects into any shape

Universal Irreversibility

Ability to render an action impossible to be stopped, blocked, manipulated, and reversed

Talpidae Physiology

can mimic/transform into talpids, including the moles, shrew moles, desmans, and other intermediate forms of small insectivorous mammals.

Earth Weaponry

can create or wield weaponry with power over earth, which grants the user a wide variety of earth-based abilities

Transcendent Demonic Mage Physiology

The power to use the abilities of demon of godly arcane powers.

Tooth Fairy Physiology

Can transform into and perform acts the tooth fairy does. (Rip out the teeth of your enemies. control every tooth in the room. could also be strengthened to control bone? maybe?)

Psychic Food Manipulation

The ability to manipulate psychic food/edible substances. (technically, animals are edible, people technically.. like this has so much room for creativity)

Contact Force Defiance

can ignore contact forces, forces that require contact with something, like a surface of the ground or an object. They can defy contact forces and not need to make contact with the surface, or interact with objects from a distance without touching them. Like magnets that don’t want to touch.

Life Connection

User is connected to any/all life and living things, so that as long as they exists life does as well. This allows them to have both an emotional and spiritual link to every form of life, so if the target feels pain or is injured all living things would feel the same pain and/or possibly gain the same wounds as the user. If the user ever dies or is killed then life itself may cease to exist as well. Reader needs a bodyguard??

Fine Interaction

The user can interact with anything that that is microscopic, no matter how small it may be, allowing the user to interact with them as if they were objects or surfaces, possibly even causing macroscopic effects if skilled. This can include viruses, diseases, microbes, atoms, molecules, particles, superstrings, etc. reader is a heart surgeon.

Snake Den 

The user can project numerous snakes from their body to eject poison into the target, project snakes as projectiles to attack or otherwise send them to the target.

Chi Manipulation

The user can create, shape, and manipulate chi. By learning to harness this inner latent energy, they can gain superhuman capabilities and use them in cases of extreme combat. Some examples include physically manifesting all of their inner strength and unleashing it through sheer force of will

Dimensional Storage

The user can put items/beings into a separate dimension for safekeeping and can summon them back with relative ease.(I really like this one)

Liquid Transmutation

User can transform any/all liquids, whether organic or inorganic, into any other fluid/liquid and change a liquids inherent properties such as turning water into acid or even make something like soda poisonous. Any liquids transformed by this power would have all the properties of the liquid they become.

Replication

User can instantly and perfectly replicate themselves and/or targets which can be objects or living beings, numerous times, while usually being able to recombine the clones. Most users have both of these abilities (if subconsciously), copying their clothes/equipment along with their body. Original target will normally be able to maintain control over all copies.

Reactive Adaptation

Users can either instantly develop powers or abilities to deal with threats or their bodies dynamically learn from experience. Depending on the user's control of the power or genetic structure, the reactive effects can be permanent or temporary.

Self-Sustenance

Users physical needs are greatly reduced or completely removed. These needs include air/breathing, sleep/rest, food, drink, bodily evacuations, shelter from environmental effects and their lack (heat/cold, dryness/wetness), etc. The user is also able to stay immobile without the normal effects this would have.

Technology Manipulation

User can create, shape, and manipulate technology and technological constructs, computers, robots, hardware, and other devices that can be termed as "technology." Manifested as a special form of electrical/telekinetic manipulation, a special form of "morphing" which allows physical interaction with machines, or even a psychic ability that allows mental interface with computer data.

User can control the flow of intricate machinery, and assemble or disengage their programming at will and operate most technology at distance. A variation of Electricity Manipulation, they control specific electrons and instructs them which items to engage or disengage and may be able to use the electric impulses to gently control smaller metal parts

Matter Ingestion

The user can eat any substance without harmful effects, regardless of what they consume. They can consume matter in any form - solid, liquid or gas.

(maybe what they eat gives them energy, maybe like how Natsu can eat flames?)

Persuasion

can compel people by speaking, the victims are unable to disobey; the seemingly cogent commandment is far too compelling. At a high level, users can persuade people into hurting/killing themselves or even flip around sense of logic, but can never cause victims to achieve what they are not capable of. 

(maybe user has to work up and strengthen it to be able to persuade peoples to do bigger things)

Anatomical Liberation

User can split their own body apart into pieces and control the said pieces however they wish, by levitating them away from the user's main body and using them as they were connected to the user.

User is immune to cutting and being slashed because they can just pull their bodies back together again. They can also remove their own organs without dying and will neither bleed to death nor die if their brain or heart is removed.

Omnilingualism.

User can speak, write, understand and communicate in any language, including computer codes, languages they have never been heard before, sign language (even lip-reading), illegible words, and backwards speech and writing with little or no training. The user may even communicate with non-human animals or read body language.

Item duplication

user is able to mimic and replicate the objects of others around oneself, and be able to use those objects as one's own.

Darkness Manipulation

User can create, shape and manipulate darkness and shadows. By itself, darkness is mostly used to cloud everything into total darkness, but by accessing a dimension of dark energy it can be channeled to a variety of effects, both as an absence of light and a solid substance: one can also control and manipulate the beings that exist there, create and dispel shields and areas of total darkness, create constructs and weapons, teleport one's self through massive distances via shadows, etc.

Density Manipulation

User can manipulate density, which is defined as mass per unit of volume. This allows them to alter solidity, change the size of substances, create or destroy matter/mass in a volume, change inertial resistance (mass), make things intangible, either strengthen or weaken gravity, concentrate or expand matter, or create pressure differences in a fluid (gas, liquid, plasma) to induce a current and possibly use it to move solids.

Some users might even be able to control electrical charge density, which is the amount of electric charge per unit volume. This would, in turn, enable them to manipulate electromagnetic fields. Control over population density might also be possible for some users as well.

Luck

The user is gifted with an automatic and continuous supply of good luck, most have no control over this power as things considered "lucky" randomly and unexpectedly happens to them despite any predestined fate or logical reason. Ergo, nothing bad will happen or if it does, their power will sort it out no matter how impossible the situation is or how high the odds are against them, allowing the user to always be in complete context in whatever situation they are, be free to do as they please without consequences, and be untouched and ineffective to the laws of causality.

All aspects of user's life improve drastically: work, social, romantic, personal, financial, school, and basically life as a whole would become easier, happier, and would excel altogether.

Paralysis Inducement

Users can immobilize the target completely or partially, causing them to be left without movement and sensation. Making motor functions and muscle movement unavailable, the victim may freeze on the spot or crumple to the ground.

Pain Infliction

Pain Infliction is the ability to inflict horrible pain on others with the mind. It is triggered by pointing one's hand at a target, who will be overwhelmed with pain. The pain is described as a thousand tiny blades stabbing the brain. The pain will instantly vanish once the user loses concentration.

Prehensile Muscles

User can make their muscles stretch/extend and hold/manipulate objects like an extra limb. (could be like tendrils)

Liquid Mimicry

user can morph their body into a liquid state, is made up of or can transform their body completely into liquid substances. A user's transformed form is anatomically identical to their normal form, aside of being made of liquid, in which case it contains all to organs and is somewhat vulnerable to attacks. Alternately the user can transform into homogeneous matter, without any part of their form being more important than the other.

Animal Morphing

User with this ability either is or can transform into animals, whether partially or completely, as well as use the abilities, traits and appearance/physiology of animals by rearranging their own DNA structure. They are able to transform into animals that exist, alien animals and/or animals that are extinct, such as Dinosaurs.

User may have this ability from an empty genetic code, allowing them to accept any form from which they have a DNA sample, others may be able to alter their form mentally and change just by seeing and mimicking animal features.

Life-Force Absorption

The user can absorb life-force/energy, vitality and health, while removing it from the source, into their body and use it in various ways, gaining some form of advantage, either by enhancing themselves, gaining the drained power, using it as power source etc., either temporarily or permanently.

Weapon Hands

User can transform parts of their body to form a weapon of their choice onto their hands and forearms, possibly their biceps, triceps, and shoulders.

Vision Manipulation

The user has complete control over the vision of oneself and others. They can enhance, reduce or remove them temporarily or permanently, protect them from being overwhelmed, cause the target to see things that aren't there or prevent them from seeing things that are, cause/remove sensory ailments, etc.

Tactile Teleportation

User can teleport objects and/or beings through physical contact, the user can transfer them to any location they desire as long their in physical contact with the object/being

Disease Manipulation 

The user can create, manipulate, shape, transform, cause/heal, etc. all forms of diseases, including their severity, contagiousness, methods of spreading, etc. They can control the organisms that spread diseases, including germs, bacteria, virus, or other pathogens on a cellular level, including bacteriophages, microorganisms (microscopic organisms), retroviruses, cells that abnormally grow to make cancerous tumors and cysts, and pathogens that produce genetic mutations

Morality Manipulation

The user can manipulate morality, making people ethically good or immorally evil by psychically kindling the targets’ minds so that they succumb to the voice of truth or to the urge of sin. The victim may feel the calling of the Almighty or some other cosmic force of good or succumb to all inner sins. The effect may expire, but that may be years after the evocations.

Dream Manipulation

User can create, shape, enter and manipulate the dreams of oneself and others, including modifying, suppressing, fabricating, influencing, manifesting, sensing, and observing dreams as well as nightmares, daydreams, etc., possibly including past ones. They can produce and modify dreams, bestow nightmares or lucid dreaming, entrap people in REM, and promote spiritual/emotional healing within dreams.

In some cases, user's power extends to the real world, such as wounds inflicted on a sleeping victim, healed damage (mental or physical) affecting the physical form, and other wise blurring the line between waking and dream. They may be able to pull someone from the waking world into the dream world or brings people/things from the dream world into the waking world.

[kookiepredictions]

Why Jungkook’s future spouse will fall in love with him

Broadly it’s the same as Jungkook’s reasons— the twinflame connection brings them together in a way that she can’t help loving him, even though she might have tried not to. But just so this post is not a reiteration of the previous one, I’ll be more specific.

Most of her life, people saw her as some sort of a trophy partner, and not much effort was made to understand who she really was inside. It’s not so much that the other men mistreated her, it’s just that they didn’t know how to treat her. She has been loved, but only in parts and pieces. Which, when awakening to a new perspective of life and love, didn’t seem like love to her. It seemed too conditional to be love. And it’s not just her own relationships, just relationships in general as she saw around her, whether it be her friends’ or strangers’ never fulfilled her own idea of love or relationships. She saw less of love and more of convenience-based asset-exchange. Deals that were made and broken, instead of promises that should be made and kept. Somewhere along her awakening, she formed this really lofty idealistic concept of love and she was keenly aware that it could be an unrealistic dream. Not only was the “love” unrealistic, the problem that came even before that was, to make that dream a reality, she had to first meet someone who also wanted the same thing in love and relationships. And her previous acquaintances didn’t make her feel hopeful about finding someone like that. She also might be a little headstrong with the type of “I’d rather be alone all my life than end up in a wrong relationship with the wrong man” attitude. It was not that the men were “wrong” per se, it was just that they didn’t have the same mindset as hers which is why even though there might have been other common interests and such, it was never whole/ complete. In a previous relationship or connection, she has had to dim down parts of herself to adjust and adapt in it, because they were in some way, “too much” or straight up “useless” to the other person because they just didn’t know what to do with it. One main example is her spirituality. Twinflames are spiritually inclined right from their childhood, even though they’re mostly not conscious about it. It’s just that they have that aspect, that intuitively guided thought process and behavioural pattern to them. In her previous relationships, this was considered an unnecessary thing, an inconvenience even. She was too “different” for her own good. For those partners it was like, it was enough for her to be an arm candy, why does she have to be so analytical, philosophical and idealistic? As she worked on her self confidence and grew more assertive in life, this was seen as an attractive quality— “finally someone with the face and the brains”— but it was still something most people didn’t know what to do with. This is another reason why dating didn’t appeal to her because it lacked the spiritual depth, and although she didn’t know this was what was missing from her life, she was never satisfied with the outer, surface-level dating activities where there was no soul connection. She was probably in a state of acceptance of “I’m going to die alone” idea lol when she first meets Jungkook.

One thing to mention here is that she was not treated right by her past connections not because it was their fault; the main reason was that she didn’t know how to be treated. She knew what she didn’t want in a relationship but she didn’t know exactly what she wanted. And that’s because she didn’t fully know herself either. Jungkook comes into her life and completely transforms the way she sees herself. He serves as the quintessential twinflame mirror for her and all those hidden parts of herself were revealed to her. With Jungkook, she doesn’t feel like she has to become someone else. Although it happens slowly and gradually, she feels more and more vulnerable with him in a way that she could never be with anyone else before. And in fact, in a way that she didn’t even think would be possible since earlier for her, relationships meant adjusting by partially hiding yourself. With Jungkook she doesn’t feel like she has to do that because somehow for him, ALL of her personality is very appealing to him. He’s just interested in everything about her. She can say what she really wants to say and he is eager to listen to it. None of her parts are useless, everything is attractive to him. He’s her biggest cheerleader lol. She could do the smallest thing and he will hype her up like she won the Nobel or something lol. And it all happens because Jungkook really sees her as she is. It’s that habit of his to dig deeper and deeper. He is SO interested to understand her, it’s a very pleasant surprise to her. He doesn’t judge her only for her outer attributes, he likes her for who she is inside— her thoughts, words, feelings— these are the main reasons why he loves her. He’s not like, “okay this is what you look like, this is what your body looks like, done, I’m in love, I don’t need to know anymore”. It’s not like that. He’s really interested in HER— it’s something she had always wanted but almost given up on. Jungkook just comes in and does the very thing that she expected a true partner to do. And the best part about this is that he doesn’t even have to force himself to do it— it’s just who he naturally is— his natural habit of trying to understand people deeply and then treating them accordingly (also discussed in his Personality reading). This is important because if you forcefully do something, say, to win someone over, but is not a part of your natural personality, it doesn’t last long, and eventually you’ll stop doing it, and then the other person feels like you’ve changed, but you haven’t changed, you just weren’t being true to yourself in the first place. (Relationship tip lol: Be yourself right from the start. Put exactly who you are on the table, and let them decide based upon it. It makes a relationship easier and long lasting).

Jungkook sort of just allows her to be— it’s a comfortable space to be in. It’s like how women in the Victorian era must have felt after they took off their corsets lol. And because of this, she learns to value herself and stand up for who she is and what she wants. Funnily though, this means that she might also sometimes stand up against Jungkook when their principles clash, but that’s not with the intention of causing arguments, it’s just that now she values herself too much to doubt herself, and if the person opposite to her is Jungkook himself, she must still stand up for herself, because that’s what Jungkook and this connection has motivated her to do, whether or not it was intended that way. Jungkook is like the last and most important puzzle piece in her spiritual growth. Whatever she had been experiencing in all those years, she now KNOWS what she was and is experiencing. She can articulate her experiences, feelings and ideas from a very definitive point of awareness and knowledge. He is literally the main reason she goes from being an ordinary girl to a divine feminine who knows what she wants, why she wants it, and how to go after it. So many things are said about DFs’ roles in awakening the DMs, but not enough is said about how much of an impact DMs have over their DFs. DFs can sometimes tend to get caught up in their heads with all the frou frou spiritual stuff, but since DMs lead in the physical world or the 3D, they keep the connection and their DFs grounded and play such an important role in manifesting the connection from the spiritual realm to the physical. They have so much love for their DFs they almost form this cocoon of love around them all the time, which again, like discussed in the previous post, makes the DFs feel like they are not all alone in what they’re doing. Jungkook makes her feel so loved and so beautiful, and it’s even better because she knows that it’s not just in a superficial way, rather for who she is in her entirety. In fact, he could care less about what she has to offer. She’s not naive, definitely not after she has found awareness, she knows exactly why people value her and why they want her in their lives. She might not be perfect but she knows what she brings to the table, and she knows that it’s a lot more than what most people are capable of giving. She doesn’t mind giving, as she believes people are born not to take but to give, but it’s the sense of entitlement and the obligatory responsibility that is pushed upon her that turns her off. Jungkook, being her twinflame, is that one person who doesn’t look at her as that kind of an asset. He’s not perfect lol he has his moments of struggle, but at the core, all he really wants is just a companion who understands him, nothing more nothing less. Instead, while most people would extend this energy of “what can you give to me?” Jungkook extends this energy of “what can I give to you?” It’s like how all of Rapunzel’s value was in her hair, but Eugene cuts it off to protect her because in his eyes, her value was in who she was as a person, and all he ever wanted to do was to love and protect her.

Even with speed bumps and potholes, Jungkook’s idea of love matches with his twinflame’s idea of love. There is a sense of innocence and purity with which he loves her. He hardly questions it and even in his most frustrated, weak moments, when he does question it, he’s not very good at it. He’s so much better at loving lol. He’s a true divine masculine to the divine feminine that she becomes. You know, most people do know what real love is, but when that ego comes in between, most people cave. It takes someone really strong to want to fight their own ego blockages and limitations to make that real, ideal love happen, and Jungkook is definitely one of them. He struggles SO much in the connection, it makes me sad often because it is difficult for anyone, but 22/ 23 is too young an age for a super busy K Pop idol to be in a connection as confusing and intense as this, and he definitely has all the reasons and ways out of it. But I don’t know what ultimately gives him the strength to want to work on this, to not let it go. I know a TF connection is not easy to let go of either, and I know he’s wanted out of it, and has tried often, as has his DF, but I just had to say it because we see him smiling for the press and photo ops and it’s just sometimes so hard to believe that that same person is going through all of this. Although, I would say that he does make it harder for himself due to his own stubbornness but again, that’s a post for another day :)

[lovealwaysla]

For the last few years, I have had my photo taken on New Years Day, upon an open road, symbolizing a blank page, fresh start, new ventures ahead. 2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣9️⃣ is no different.

2018 in a few words:

Brutal, Beautiful, Irreplaceable.

This year has been one hell of a ride. If I shared every lesson with you, every pivotal moment, we’d be here until 2020. So I think this year’s recap will be shorter than the last, but we’ll see how it goes.

Let’s start at the beginning. Countless times over the last year, I viewed it as one that I wish I could have skipped over, slept through, or called in sick too. It seemed as though I had been hit from every angle; disagreements with loved ones and foes alike, falling outs of the worst kind, physical ailments, myself and others, mental struggle, gut-wrenching fear, lack of career prospects, deflating self-confidence, financial instability, you name it, it was dropped into my bucket. The days seemed to become monotonous, the experiences shared semblance with Ground Hog Day, and I was just plain tired of it all. You know the sort of moments where you question, is this happening to everyone or is it just me that is being tested? That was my reality. At least it remained as such until I underwent a shift, it’s origin is one that still remains a mystery to me. Somewhere along the way, a light turned on within the vast darkness I had enveloped myself in, intentionally and unintentionally, and it was then that I saw my reality in it’s rarest form, 2018 proved to actually be the best year of my life thus far. It was the sort of experience where I wished for change so deeply that I indirectly blinded myself, unable to see the progression of what I was already experiencing; to put it simply, I was already in the midst of living my way into the change and inner peace that I had desperately wanted for myself the year, months, days prior and I was taken aback. How long had I been lying dormant, waiting for something I was currently accomplishing? It didn’t matter now. I simply remember seeing the world completely different; brighter, more beautiful, less harsh, and infinitely precious. That very light allowed me to see the most crucial pieces of who I am, the direction of my journey, and my role in each portion of my life that I both succeeded in and struggled with, and how they all go hand in hand.

Here’s why:

* No one is going to come and save you. * No one can save you from yourself and that is sort of the beauty of it all. The key to growth is learning to save yourself. I went through my day-to-day as if the universe owed me something, a sense of entitlement I guess I used as armor for most of my life, one that I have now since removed. This world owes us nothing, but can teach us everything, if we are open to it. * Time heals all wounds. * 2017 for me was the most painful year, one I never believed I’d survive, but I did. 2018 was brutal and raw in it’s lessons, experiences, and truths, and I didn’t think that I’d be able to rise above and through the darkness, but I did. * Celebrate the small stuff first. * Throughout my short 30, almost 31 years, I have had trouble seeing the good, the positive, the progress in my own life and decisions. The irony? I have always been able to celebrate those very same things within the lives of the ones I love and even complete strangers. Why was it easier for me to look outward rather than inward? The best gift 2018 has given me is the ability to look inwards and celebrate the smallest of steps, the biggest of feats for myself, not for outward praise. I learned to clap for my damn self. * Find your outlet. Find multiple outlets. Throw yourself into them. * I never understood the importance of an outlet and the even greater importance of finding one for yourself. Throughout my life, I was given options, too many on occasion, which in turn overwhelmed me and the fear of letting others down if I didn’t like what was offered outweighed potential enjoyment. I never allowed myself the opportunity to stray outside the lines of what others thought as best, and throughout the last year, I dove deep into the unknown. I became a beginner on a daily basis. I learned to bake, I learned to cook, I learned to take control in a kitchen of my own. I found my own outlet and that is priceless. Finding what makes you feel a sense of pride and helps you to feel alive, what gives you purpose and enriches your days, that’s what matters. Doing what you love truly is invigorating. * Not every battle needs to be fought. Not every word needs to be spoken. * Yes, not every word needs to be spoken. But, standing up for yourself takes many forms. I have had to make some very hard, heartache inducing decisions in the past 12 months. I never really learned how to stand up for myself in a healthy way. I’d internalize and compartmentalize my pain, my hurt feelings, my bruised ego in ways that I viewed as “dealing with” said emotions but in fact, proved to be detrimental to my growth. This year taught me that expressing my feelings with maturity, kindness for myself and the other party(ies) allows for progressive healing and sets up a foundation for healthy communication. Always speak your truth, but try to learn how others need things to be heard too. Validate yourself first and foremost. 2018 taught me that another person’s actions/words/experiences, are just that, theirs. They have nothing to do with me. It is my choice to internalize and take offense. I tried on compassion in a different way, it made all the difference. * Give. Give more. Then give some more. * Learning the balance of giving of myself and of giving to myself was my most precious lesson of 2018. I have been the sort of person that would give, and give, and give of herself at the expense of her well being. I’d claim that it was just “the type of person I am” and “Well they would do the same for me” and my favorite, “I do it because I want too, not because I expect anything in return.” Now, let’s start by saying, I believed and stood by each exclamation. However, I wasn’t really aware of the issue I was causing for myself, the neglect of my mental stability and what I was actually asking for by doing for others at the level to which I was doing. I claimed I didn’t expect, but I was sorely mistaken. I heard a quote once that went something like this, “What if what you do for others, you actually turned around and did for yourself?” It opened up my world. I began to see that doing for others is only enriching when you have zero expectation of reciprocation, do it for the goodness, or not at all. I recently fed the homeless on Christmas Eve, for no other reason than because I wanted too. Again, this world, the people in it, they owe you nothing. Anything that comes your way is a gift, a lesson or an added bonus. Treat it as such. * Whatever you do, do it with love. * Love is complex, life-altering, and soul igniting. I’ve never really understood the meaning or power of unconditional love until Ian came into my life. Now, there’s a love that you have for your family, for your friends, that’s a separate and special sort of love. When it comes to sharing your life, the deepest parts of your soul, baring your vulnerabilities and trusting within in another soul to remain by your side through it all, that’s a different sort of love entirely. To my love, my light, and the most precious portion of my heart, Ian C. Albright, 2018 was wonderful in large part to you and how you’ve transformed my world. You singlehandedly made me feel safe yet challenged, protected and provided for, and deeply, deeply, loved. I admire your strength and I value you immensely.

Thank you 2018. You have been a year filled with humbling experience, deep introspection, challenging opportunity, raw and crucial truth. You were my year of self-actualization. Here’s to 2019, to what I’ve deemed as my year of manifestation.

Health and Happiness everyone. Be kind to one another.

[houseofvans]

ART SCHOOL | Q&A with SABRINA BOSCO

We absolutely love the super surrealistic and symbolic works of New York based artist Sabrina Bosco. Sabrina’s watercolored worlds are filled with symbols and meanings, inspired by Nature, the colorful and psychedelic works fo Heinz Edelmann, tattoo art, and music. We find out more about Sabrina’s awesome art, her art school tip, and what she’s got coming up for the rest of the year! Make the leap. 

Photographs courtesy of the artist and Julie Bosco

Can you tell us a little about yourself and what you do? Hello! My name is Sabrina Bosco, I’m 23 years old and live in New York. I love to create! These days mostly I am watercolor painting, but I also love to write poetry and stitch and sometimes oil paint. And I’m hoping to become a tattoo artist!

How would you describe your works to someone? I would describe it as super symbolic, semi-tattoo style surrealism art that reflects the world inside my mind. There’s symbolism in all the lines, colors, images, shaped, atc. and there’s no wrong way to interpret it. I have my own personal meanings for everything I draw, but whatever people take from it is also completely true.

Was drawing a hobby turned career? or something you knew from the start? It was a hobby turned career. I drew a lot as a kid and a little bit in high school, but never took it super seriously. It was more like a painting every couple of months. I didn’t really have a plan when I graduated from college, so I went into panic mode to find what I’d be doing with my life and decided I was going to become a geologist since I loved to be outside. I even bought textbooks and researched about it for hours. 

Then I had this existential crisis type thing where it really hit me I have one life to live and my geology plan was completely ridiculous and unrealistic for me. That’s when I really jumped into painting, and since then my art has been this continuation of me figuring out my mind and my life. At first my goal was botanical art, and I thought I could make illustrations for books or something. For me, that was way too limiting, and I naturally started adding new elements and turning everything into symbolism. So, although it began as a hobby, it had a goal of becoming a career while also not existing solely to become a career. 

I’m lucky it’s heading towards a career path.

Who were some of your early influences? My biggest influence is the illustrator for The Beatles Yellow Submarine art, Heinz Edelmann. His psychedelic colorful worlds are what made me attracted to the colors and patterns I use, and the format of my paintings being “worldly”.The art and music of the 60’s in general were my biggest influences. Surrealism oil painter, Vladimir Kush, is a huge influence on any surrealism elements in my art. Artists I discovered on Instagram inspired me a lot to push my art further, there are soooo many and it’s easy to be inspired on there. Diego Delfino’s beautiful women inspired me to draw women. They’re all super beautifully posed and inspired by the women of the 30’s, which led to me referencing my ladies from ladies from the 30’s when I first started learning how to draw them. Kane Trubenbacher was also one of my biggest influences, which seems weird because our styles are basically opposite, but the way he configures elements together inspired me tremendously and led to a turning point in my art style.

What type of materials did you start out using and what materials do you love to use now? I started out using Winsor and Newton watercolor, which is a thicker paint you add water to. It’s okay to begin with, but now I use Ecoline watercolor and it’s way easier to work with. I’ve been using that for the past 3 years now. As for paper, I began with hot press watercolor paper because I was trying to make botanical art, but now I use Fabriano Studio 140lb cold press paper and I’ve been using that for about 3 years also.

When you’re creating a new drawing, how do you begin your process? Most of the time it begins with whatever I’m feeling, or thinking being manifested into an image. Sometimes it’s a thought theme I’ve been having, whether I keep thinking about themes like dreams, memory, death etc. and sometimes it’s just how I’m feeling, which could be super happy and excited about life or overwhelmed with anxiety and whatever else is going in my head. 

Any kind of thought or feeling I have I morph into symbols that exist in nature or whatever I think suits it best, and it kind of branches off from the original theme into more connecting themes. Making the actual picture, it always begins different. 

My main goal is always to use different ideas in every painting, so I think beginning every painting differently is kind of a natural thing that happens when I try to accomplish that. Sometimes I begin with an idea I had the night before when I was about to sleep and other times I just start sketching on the paper. I also will sketch on graph paper and keep layering my ideas using a light box or a window to trace. I could probably use flowers growing out of a melting eyeball to symbolize five different things, but I’ll try to use an idea I’ve never used before to challenge myself artistic wise and broaden my perspective on the symbolism that surrounds us in nature.

What type of things are you inspired by and how do they found themselves reflected in your work? I’m mostly inspired by nature. Rainbows, mountains, water, the sun, the moon etc. all exist without any war or hate or intention rather than to be. They surround us in the physical world, but also reflect the conscious mind symbolically and I try to translate that in my art. All my women represent mother nature, and her consciousness that transcends to living beings (humans and animals). I believe nature is a natural teacher, and it’s our choice to view it as just objects around us, or to learn from it. When you begin to study and interpret nature, you begin to open new realms of thought (and lack of thought) and expand your conscious mind. That’s been the only way for me to learn about my true self and all the truths that surround me, and there’s nothing more inspiring for me than the truth. 

Music also inspires me a lot. You can get the same vibe from a song that you find in a painting, and I find when I’m really into a certain band, it’s vibe will reflect off my painting. Whether it’s a more serious, sad vibe or a psychedelic, energic vibe. Right now, The Voidz are my main music inspiration. The foundation of my art is strongly inspired by bands like The Beatles, The Doors, Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. Tattoo art is also super inspirational. 

Even though my paintings aren’t intended to be tattoos, I’ve been told its tattoo like, and I think that naturally happened from just looking at so much tattoo art and being in love with it. Every now and then I’ll make a flash sheet, and when I sketch out ideas, it usually looks like a bunch of flash. I usually have an easier time making flash sheets than actual paintings. People in general inspire me. Sometimes a painting will be based on a person I met or saw. Even though everything I draw comes from the secret world inside my head, the secret world inside everyone else head is something that fascinates me and is something that will sneak into my drawings whenever I meet someone interesting.  

There’s a lot of surrealistic type of landscapes and worlds in your drawings from melting rainbows to lots and lots of eyeballs. What can you tell us about these worlds? They’re all part of the same world that exists in my mind, I like to “walk” through my mind and draw what I see. This world is mine because it’s my perspective, but it connects with every other conscious mind’s world. I could never draw theirs even though it’s the same world, because I could never fully understand their perspective of it. The worlds I create are always positive, even if they were born from any negative feelings or thoughts, they transform negative energy into positive energy. In this way they’re kind of healing places to create for myself, and hopefully also for anyone who visits them. Mostly these worlds are super personal, but they are based off the truth I know everyone can connect to in their own personal way if they’re willing to look deeper and find themselves in these worlds.

Where did you learn your knowledge of art or making art? Art School or Self taught? It was self-taught, but watching my sister paint and seeing what other artists use and how they paint, helped me a lot. Most of it was trial and error. I always liked drawing weird and symbolic things, so a lot of my beginning stuff is a big mess of ideas and constant experimenting. When you paint every day, even if no one is there to tell you what to do, you will eventually find your own personal art language and art will begin to make sense to you.

What’s something you can pass along art tip wise that you either learned in school or on the job so-to-speak? My biggest art tip would be to remember there are no rules to art. The only rules are the ones you make yourself. There’s no right way to make a line, or a color, or a face, or anything. That’s the most important rule I can think of, when you stop worrying about if what you’re doing is right or wrong, you start to realize how limitless creating can be. I mean, of course if you are going to do realism or use specific techniques you’re going to need to follow certain rules. But when trying to develop your own style, go with whatever works for you. 

Another tip I’d give is to not compare yourself to other artists. It’s good to be inspired, maybe using similar colors and a similar technique. But if you find yourself trying to be an extension of another artist, or straight up copying what they are doing, you’ll never find out what kind of artist you truly are.

What are your favorite Vans? All the yellow submarine edition ones were my favorite!

What advice would you give someone thinking about art as a career? If you are passionate about art and it’s the only life you can see yourself living, then do it. Art careers are different for everyone, and I don’t even technically have an art career yet, but I’m on my way. Be prepared to dedicate yourself and most of your time to your art. It’s a journey that involves only you. Don’t care what people say who tell you it’s not a good idea if you feel in your heart it’s how you want to live your life.

Anything you’d like to mention coming up the rest of the year? I’m making shirts and prints! Also I’m hoping to get a tattoo apprenticeship this year! Other than that, I’m just continuing to paint my mind and share it with people in hopes it can inspire them in whatever way they need it in their life😊

FOLLOW SABRINA | Website | Shop

[youdecode]

How to Manifest True Love? Manifest soulmate [law of attraction for love]

Ah love! Manifesting love.

Am actually excited to write this because the process is way too simple!

(I will shed light on my current personal practice in the end)

This guide for manifesting your soulmate is not a filler.

But if you want proven help from an expert then here you go. 

Know that it is an instruction manual thus treat it that way.

It is a simple step by step process which requires no theories . . . Manifesting a soulmate!

Before diving straight into the steps, I would stress the word soul mate here.

Quite a big term right?

Who exactly is a soul mate.

Someone who your soul recognizes.

Someone who your soul resonates with and that too for a lifetime.

People fail to manifest a soulmate because of infatuation . . . and wrong choices.

You might say that Eisha Love sees no right and wrong.

It is just blind.

Interestingly, it is so easy to say that love is blind while it is not.

Yes, one might get blinded by logical and interruption of the conscious mind which often gets misunderstood as the signal of the heart.

The biggest challenge in making the right choice and manifesting your real soulmate lies in the distinction between the voice of heart and voice of mind.

We will dig further down into this.

For now just remember that if you have had any relation in the past and now it kind of has vanished then :

One was not your soul mate.

True love only exists between the soul mates.

Your mind may interrupt here and say . . . but you loved the person once :

Again who knows it was the voice of your mind rather than of your heart?!

I am not saying that one must not listen to the mind, rather I am saying know the distinction (when to listen to what!)

This is an action plan. So treat it as one.

If you will follow it . . . you will magically attract a person. 

Asking about the time frame?

Depends on the strength and clarity of your law of attraction practices.

(Don’t crease your forehead girl, I have your back with the best practices).

If you have already have a specific person in mind then skip step 1. 

Let’s dig straight in for some juicy stuff.

 Also Here Are Some Related Massively-Transformative Resources You Will Ever Need.

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3 secret steps to make any wish come true

4 incredible powerful steps to manifest desires & goals 

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Step 1: Clearly list down the qualities you desire

This step deals with your mind and your heart has like no role in here.

You have to make a choice in this step about the qualities you desire in your soul mate.

Making choices, means again it has to be the conscious decision where you will want to look back on your qualities, past, memories, wishes, and dreams for deciding the type of person you want to attract.

This step is extremely important thus you will have to be cautious.

I have been stressing on several Blogpost regarding why people fail to manifest their dreams . . .

The number one reason is the lack of clarity.

You want just everything or sometimes you are confused yourself.

In either of the states, you will never attract a dream, in this case, the soul mate, because you have no clarity of how your soulmate has to be, with whom your soul will resonate.

So what is the drill?

Keep a separate journal for it please (Take this seriously as after all it about your life)

Make a web.

Write soul mate in the center and then branch out the important qualities you desire

Be as specific as possible

Every person desires some attributes to be present in a specific person

Never write any half heart desire else law of attraction would not work

Be concrete and list all of them clearly.

Start with personality traits like honesty, LOYALTY, integrity

List a minimum of 10 traits and maximum of 20 (not more than that)

List the habits you would love in your soul mate

List the habits you will absolutely not approve of (like smoking for suppose if you are allergic)

List the physical traits you want your ideal man to have (some people wish to skip this but it is totally a preference)

If you remain honest with yourself in this process then half of your work is done. Yes, half of it.

How?

You are clear Law of attraction thus has got your back. 

Step 2: Create an intention statement

Now everything in the law of attraction is a clear intention.

That is why we exercised above and narrowed down the specifics for manifesting a soulmate.

What is the intention?

A concrete desire. It is not a wish . . .

it is not a dream.

A desire is much stronger and something that you truly want to attract.

That list was vital for creating an intention statement . . .

Flip the page of the journal and write:

MY INTENTION IS TO ATTRACT AN HONEST, LOVING, AND AFFECTIONATE SOULMATE WHO IS COMMITTED TO MAINTAINING A HEALTHY, LIFE-LONG RELATIONSHIP WITH ME.

Or

MY INTENTION IS TO FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH A GENTLE AND ROMANTIC MAN WHO IS MARRIAGE-MINDED AND FAMILY ORIENTED.

The intentional statement became easy to develop because you had the list with you.

Now how to craft a perfect statement. This is how:

Add the most important qualities

Make the intentional statement easier to recall because ultimately you want to use it as an affirmation.

Make it short as you will have to repeat the intentional statement so that it could sink into your subconscious mind.

Focus on it at different times of the day (Just think about it and smile: Nothing fancy!)

Double-check that your intention statement is the direct reflection of your desire

Feel free to take a few days to develop a clear intention statement

Bonus tip: Include power words that could stimulate a positive and joyous feel in you.

Apart from scripting into your journal, write it down on a flashcard so it is convenient to carry & then memorize

The intentional statement is not any magical spell or abra ca dabra . . .! it is not a mantra but simply a tool for realigning your focus.

Wrapping this point:

When you will constantly “think” about the “desire” you have created, you will be sinking the thoughts into your subconscious mind.

Where all your intentions will turn into faith and belief.

Focusing on the card/ reviewing your manifesting journal/ repeating the statement once in a week simply would not cut it!

Repetition is the key my friend so make it a habit.

Please Pin It For Later Reference Fam!

 Step 3: Visualization for manifesting love

Now that we are done with the basics, it is time to put other half tasks in action.

Here comes the heart now as now there is a heavy play on feelings.

We are all visual animals.

How many of us are guilty of just knowing the faces of old friends while their names are long forgotten?

Okay I’m raising my hand. So we have established that we own powerful visuals.

So, why not use it for our benefit as a biggest tool for manifesting quickly?

Great idea!

And proven one.

Bear in mind that human imagination is extremely powerful thus let’s work on the visualization scripts. (we have worked above on the written scripts).

We have not talked about feelings much!

But now is the time to bring this puzzle into the game.

Law of attraction is incomplete without a feeling . . . usually it is accompanied with the desire.

A strong desire will naturally bring the feelings into play. . . when you are repeating the intentional statements but that is not enough.

You have to bring the feeling in every step. So that you emotionally connect.

A desire without any emotional connection will make it hard for you to manifest love.

You will see several people commenting that they just don’t feel like what it is to be in love . . . how it feels like being rich . . .

it’s hard to imagine.

For all such comments I just have a single answer :

JUST FEEL HAPPY

Yes, feel the happiness after all that is the ultimate pleasure you are after.

Why do you think you want to manifest love, yours soulmate?

The root is always for happiness.

So why not reverse the process?

DO NOT wait for the person to enter your life and then get happy rather start from the bottom up approach.

Feel it first.

Imagine happiness in your visualization.

By getting happy you will feel a stronger connection with your desire.

And that is when beautiful things will sweep into your life.

The first rule of visualization is thus feeling happy and then imagining it.

What to imagine and how to bring your creative neurons into play?

Go for a warm-up. Here is how:

Think about the instances when you felt happy. The incidents you enjoyed in the part

Some ideas include: recalling having a perfect meal with someone you have loved.

Imagining a friend’s wedding, imagining observing a serene ocean.

Now warm up by recalling moments that are related to the emotion of love

How did your school crush make you feel? Did you ever find your heart racing or stomach hosting butterflies?

These short yet powerful warm-up exercises will awaken your senses and prepare you for the actual visualization.

You need to awaken the sense and emotions for visualization thus warming up and reeling up the memories was vital.

Now visualization exercises will be easier to do & yes more fun.

Visualizing a Perfect Date

Now visualize your perfect date. Search your feelings and construct the scenario. Here is how to get started:

In order to save yourself from getting overwhelmed, you should ideally start with 5 mins a day and then extend to 15 min later.

Imagine with the same emotions that how the place will look. Will it be somewhere busy or somewhere away from the noisy city? You should imagine the scene.

Which dress will you wear?

How will the ideal drive go?

The song you will listen to?

The things you will talk about in the car?

The things you will talk till the dinner gets served?

Recall any of the childhood incidents that you will definitely share and the smile. Think about the memories you will bring ?

Now you can add an additional layer of reality by imagining what will happen the next week or day. Will you have other movie plans? Yes, get wild with your imagination because it is your story and you are the creator of it.

Remember the story you are creating in your head will definitely translate into your reality because the have got the basic ingredients of law of attraction right: Intention , feeling & belief

Step 4 : Put all the steps together for manifesting a soul mate

 1- Now when the morning shines bright at you, mindfully repeat your Intention

Statement with the emotions , simply with happiness.

Know that it is an affirmation thus you need to at least repeat a dozen times throughout the day whenever convenient.

Can be during dressing up or during drive . . . or at college/work (just do not be very loud!)

2- Perform the Emotional Visualization at least twice per day.

The ideal time is before bed and immediately after waking up as during these times the theta state of mind is most active.

The state is the state of the subconscious mind.

It is vital for the visualization to sink into the subconscious mind as that is where all the belief/faith is (one of the key components of the law of attraction).

Do not fret about how to make your visualization sink into the mind . . . with repetition and by these timings you are naturally making the process happen.

Remember your subconscious mind cannot differentiate between reality and imagination . . . to it your imagination is also real thus it forms a faith of manifesting soulmate.

3. Include some of the affirmations from here. Choose the ones which resonate with you.

4. Stay persistent. No one can tell when you will manifest your soulmate. . . it can be in 7 minutes. . . 7 days . . .or 7 months. The law of attraction works with the principal of energy. By constantly giving out love energy to the universe, you are forcing it to return the same energy back and that happens quickly! (your efforts decide the time remember that)

Before you Goo . . . 

It will be unfair to end this blogpost without sharing where I am manifesting a soul mate.

Well, I have a clear web in my journal. I am exactly aware of the type of person I want . . . my visualization is spot on . . .

The only thing which I intentionally delay is the time.

I do not practice affirmations several times a day or even the intentional statement because I am not yet ready.

I have dealt with a loss of the love of my life, my dad . . .

So cherishing only his memories for now.

So a word of caution: practice when you are ready!

You can attract the person even tomorrow . . . and then do not be like oh what have i done!

This was just the basic guide to get you started.

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Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith Interview: Electric Awe

Photo by Chantal Anderson

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Like many writers, I’m guilty of (twice) calling Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith a “synth wizard” in past articles. With her upcoming album The Mosaic of Transformation, out tomorrow on Ghostly International, she shows that her skills and ideas are increasingly firmly rooted in the terrestrial realm, the spaces within us as much as the spaces surrounding us. 2016′s Ears was the soundtrack to “driving a spaceship through futuristic jungles,” whereas 2017′s The Kid (one of our favorite albums of that year) was “a concept album about four stages of life.” But her releases and endeavors since then invoke much more corporeal life. After releasing The Kid, she founded Touchtheplants, part record label, part publishing house from which she’s released the first volumes in her Electronic Series and books on listening as well as modular synth work recorded back in 2013 (Tides: Music for Meditation and Yoga). All of this informs The Mosaic of Transformation, an album centered around her awe for electricity and how it exists within the body.

The music on The Mosaic of Transformation, simply put, feels alive, looking to burst from the seams. The appropriately titled opener “Unbraiding Boundless Energy Within Boundaries” begins with a tropical beat that dances into ascension. “The Spine Is Quiet In The Center” hovers like buzzing bees waiting to pollinate a flower. “Understanding Body Messages” is burbling and buoyant. At the same time, Smith captures life when the songs retreat into minimalism, like with the weepy strings and layered vocals of “Remembering” and dropped beat of the previously sprightly organ waltz of “The Steady Heart”. Elsewhere, tracks like “Overflowing” and “Deepening The Flow Of” are less than 30 seconds of pause between more major pieces, including 10.5-minute opus “Expanding Electricity” that closes the album.

I spoke to Smith over the phone last month about the record. The release of it wasn’t delayed due to COVID-19, but her tour with Caribou was postponed (and has since been rescheduled, including a stop in October at the Riviera). In the meantime, she’s used streamed performances on her Twitch channel as a way to reveal bits and pieces of the album. And of course, she’s been going on walks, trying to stay safely distanced from others but closer to nature.

Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: As you’ve said, a lot of The Mosaic of Transformation centers around your exploration of dance and the body and is contextualized in the music you’ve done for yoga and Touchtheplants. What else is some key inspiration or context for looking at the record?

Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith: A lot of it for me stems from my heart’s response to experiences I’ve had with electricity, feeling such a state of appreciation for all the many facets and capabilities of electricity. It’s my musical response to that admiration.

SILY: Are you talking about electricity from a scientific perspective or more metaphorically?

KAS: I guess there’s always elements of both. It’s such a potent part of all aspects of life, and our body’s made of electricity. I’ve been studying the nervous system a lot the last few years, and that really deepened my appreciation for learning about an internal experience of electricity, and I make music with electricity, so I have this external and internal experience. It’s been fascinating.

SILY: Where have you been studying the nervous system?

KAS: I’ve been learning about it from a lot of different teachers and readings. It’s kind of a self-study. I’ve done different online programs about electricity in the body.

SILY: When you think about the word “electricity,” people usually think of a light bulb or light switch. But like you mention, there’s a lot of electricity found in the natural world and in our bodies. To what extent are you trying to explore something natural with this record as opposed to electric objects?

KAS: To me, it’s the same thing, just in a different capsule. That’s where my admiration really started to expand. Having all these different experiences with electricity. It takes different shapes and can do different things depending upon the container that it’s in. It’s just a really interesting medium. It’s such a foundation for what animates life and objects.

You know when you feel so overwhelmed with awe at something? To me, that’s what inspiration is. You think, “I have to communicate this in a different way. I have to find an outlet for it.”

SILY: There are different ways to musically manifest electricity or what it sounds like, but to me, you seemed to skirt the cliche of buzzing or zooming noises. A lot of the time, your music is more fluttery. Was that a conscious decision?

KAS: It’s interesting you say the word “flutter,” because that was one of the first words I wrote down, because before I start a project, usually the moment I feel inspiration flooding in, I start compiling the words and images coming through, and they don’t all connect yet. “Flutter” was a really prominent word in that process. It was neat, because at that time, I was doing this residency with these wooden pipe organs and was recording a lot of stuff on those. That’s what gives it that fluttering sound.

SILY: I could definitely hear the organ on “The Steady Heart”, but I love records where the instrument that makes the sound is not the one you thought it did.

KAS: Me too. I had that experience with On The Other Ocean by David Behrman and Steve Reich’s Music for 18 Musicians.

SILY: One thing that stood out to me about the new record is it’s about half short-form tracks, whereas other songs, like the closing track “Expanding Electricity”, are almost their own suites. How do you make the decisions behind when a track ends and begins?

KAS: I never feel like I’m really making the decisions. It’s kind of just what is coming through. It’s what the inspiration feels like. I remember when I was first writing down the words, one of the ideas was to make an opera, where it had reoccurring themes and felt like you were going through set changes. After set changes, there were these moments where characters were expressing themselves and communicating like opera. It turned into that structure.

SILY: You don’t sing as much on this one, either.

KAS: I sing probably half on it. I feel like most of my albums tend to be like that. The Kid was the exception. It’s just that my voice isn’t my primary instrument. It depends on what that piece is asking for. Sometimes, the thing that wants to be communicated just isn’t through the voice.

SILY: I definitely think of your voice as one being used as an instrument rather than a communicator of words, like on “Remembering”, where you layer your voice and it’s hard to decipher what you’re saying. At the same time, how do you come up with your lyrics?

KAS: It’s mostly what I hear. I don’t have a formula for the actual creation of pieces, but the way that I go about composing is always the same: I first get a really strong feeling of inspiration, and there’s an urgency that has to get communicated, and I can’t say it in English words. Then, I sit and listen with closed ears and don’t play anything. I usually get the full scope of what the sound is in an inner listening experience. During that process is usually when I hear the words. Then, I’ll write them down, and try to actualize what I heard internally.

SILY: I really like your use of space on the album, and you use it in different ways. On “The Steady Heart”, where the beat comes in, it’s fitting, and you realize what the track was previously lacking. On the flip side, on “Deepening The Flow Of”, the song momentarily empties out. How do you go about trying to inject a sense of space into your compositions?

KAS: It’s a hard question, because sometimes I honestly feel like I’m along for the ride creatively most of the time. It doesn’t feel like I’m making decisions. That process is happening, but I mostly am doing that matching process where I hear something internally and actualize what I heard. So it’s less of a conscious process of methodical decisions, “That part will communicate this and this.” It’s more, “I heard that inside, how do I match what I heard?”

SILY: What’s the story behind the album art?

KAS: It’s kind of a long story, but it’s a really big process of the album. When I first got the inspiration for the album, the full sonic listening experience of it, while I was having that experience, I kept getting these visuals of making these symmetrical shapes. I decided to give myself a physical symbol of me working through a transformation and through my body’s electricity while I wrote the album. The whole process of the album, each day, I would show up to working on the music, and usually, what would happen is I would experience a lot of challenges, frustration, and emotion matching what I heard inside, so my process to clear that out was to do the physical practice. They became this double practice that helped each other. I just kept track of my progress, and shapes were the end product of my physical transformation of being able to make these shapes with my body I couldn’t make before. The sonic version was to create what I heard inside. It went through a lot of different versions. I probably rewrote it 12 times.

SILY: What has been your approach to adapting these pieces to a performance?

KAS: The idea was to always make each performance different. It was always going to involve a more performance art vibe by having visuals and some sort of dance element to it. The live streams have been doing makeshift versions of that, but there are still a lot more elements that are going to be coming out as the album comes out. I’m performing using some Buchla gear, and I had written out parts for an orchestra with the hopes there would be some orchestral performances.

SILY: Why did you decide to release this record on Ghostly International instead of Western Vinyl?

KAS: That’s a really hard question to answer. Nobody’s ever asked me that question before, and it’s complicated. It’s like asking someone, “You were collaborating with this person, why are you collaborating with that person?” It’s not really a “this or that” as much as a “this and that.” You keep on growing. It’s not like one replaces the other. It expands.

SILY: How did the Ghostly relationship start?

KAS: We had been friends for a while, and it kind of just happened naturally. I shared the album with them.

SILY: Is anything else next for you?

KAS: A lot of things. I usually don’t have that long of a break before finishing something. I usually go right into making new music. I’m working on a lot of Touchtheplants projects right now. I’m writing the 2nd of 12 planned books on listening. Those are the main things I’m focusing on.

SILY: Do you have a favorite plant?

KAS: Ooh! Not of all time, but I have different plants I highlight at different times. Right now, I’m working a lot with rosemary and fennel. I like to put rosemary in all my water I drink. It’s anti-viral, and it’s got this lecithin that protects the fat around your cells, so it’s a really nice one to work with. But for all plants, like if you’re taking medicine, do your research! And fennel propagates really easily.

SILY: When you go to different cities, do you visit their arboretums? 

KAS: Usually on tour, I try to find where’s the closest park or garden.

SILY: Pre- or during lockdown, is there anything you’ve been watching, reading, or listening to that’s inspired you, comforted you, or caught your attention?

KAS: I go mbira.org a lot and listen to mbira music from that website. I like to support the musicians on that website because the money goes straight to them in Zimbabwe, and American money to them is a lot of money. They don’t have a streaming thing, and you have to buy it from them. You can’t find it online or anywhere else. I’ve mostly been reading about the nervous system, but I just got this book I haven’t read yet called Surrendering. I’ve read a few pages of it and I’m really excited to read that. It’s not comforting, but I’ve been watching the Tiger King. It’s the opposite of comforting. It definitely caught my attention. I watch a lot of The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. That, in a weird way, has been comforting. In a weird way, it’s helped me process everything that’s going on by learning about what’s going on. Whenever I go a day or two without staying updated, I start to feel a little bit weird. I like learning from The Daily Show because it’s delivered in a humorous way.

[cursemcrked]

What would it take for Hidan to fall "in love" with someone? (In quotations because I don't think it's even possible for him to love in the conventional sense?) And how would he behave in a romantic relationship?

*cracks knuckles*  Have I ever mentioned how much I love random headcanon questions?  Because I really love random headcanon questions.  So, thank you for this!

First of all you’re absolutely right.  Conventional and Hidan are not two words that go together in any sense, and his approach to anything romantic falls right in with that.  Love in any form, platonic or otherwise, isn’t exactly a familiar concept in his world.  It is not enforced by his religion, as it is with so many (if not most) others out there; far from it, as a matter of fact, so he’d certainly not get it from there.  Also, Hidan being…Hidan, tends to drive people away, meaning his connections to others are minimal and it’s likely that he hasn’t found someone to get close to, which would then lead to loving them in some manner.  Lack of opportunity makes for a slight handicap.  As for actually “falling in love” with someone, it could absolutely happen, just as it could for practically anyone else in the world.  He could absolutely fall head-over-heels for somebody, commit to that one person, and be unerringly faithful in something long-term–but if someone enters a relationship with Hidan expecting sunshine and roses, and marriage and children and blah blah blah, they’re going to be rather disappointed.  He ain’t the type, at all.  

Now, what it would take to make him actually fall for someone….that part is a little trickier.  Exactly what would make it happen is pretty much impossible to say, though a damn good start would be giving him the elusive acceptance that he’s gone so long without.  Let’s face it:  Hidan is…to put it nicely, a handful.  He gets super passionate about stuff (his religion, as an example), he’s aggressive and blunt and often rude, he has got might have a couple screws loose in that pretty little head of his.  He knows all that, anyone who meets him knows it; it tends to drive people away, but it’s certainly not about to change.  That’s just who he is.  But, if he were to find somebody who’d tolerate all of that is going to catch his attention.  Whether they remain as a friend or move past that point and become a lover depends entirely on the person themselves, hence why it’s impossible to nail down one (or even a few) things that might have him falling for someone.

Should someone find themselves desiring and/or entering a relationship with him, they best not go in expecting all those things I mentioned previous.  He is not going to magically turn into this perfect gentleman who wants only to wine-and-dine his lover and shower them with praises and pretty nothings whenever they’re alone together.  Hidan is still Hidan.  His lover is nothing more than a best friend with a few added benefits; all that nonsense he pulls with friends (and acquaintances, actually) are not off-limits for a partner.  He’s going to tease them, going to pester them.  He’ll likely talk an ear off if and when they get him going on a certain topic.  He’s going to be combative and stubborn, and the best apology they’re ever going to get for anything he does is a small gift and a “Yeah, well, if you didn’t (insert some trivial thing here) that wouldn’t have happened”.  He’s also going to be jealous and clingy; a lover is going to be important to him, so he’s going to want to keep them close, for a vast number of reasons.  And, if he perceives someone else encroaching on “his territory”, he’s going to do something about it.  His lover may not appreciate what that something is, but it’s going to happen anyway.  

Most of all, a lover is going to have to realize that they’re going to come second in his life, no matter what.  Hidan could be head-over-heels for somebody and still they’re ranked below his deity, and that is yet another thing that is not going to change.

All that said, a romance with Hidan is not going to be all bad.  Loyalty is a thing.  That teasing and pestering can easily be turned into some light-hearted game, which will happen often if his partner allows for it.  He’s a physical person, once he gets close to someone, so a partner is always welcome to lay on him, cuddle up against him, sit on his lap, etc.  Said lover will also never want for compliments; they may be crude (I mean, it’s Hidan we’re talking about here), but if he likes something on or about you, he’ll say it, whether prompted or not.  That also translates into brutal honesty (which can go either way, actually).  He’s also one who’ll have his lover’s back through anything and everything, so really, there’s a balance of good and bad, just as there is with anyone else.

Because I probably rambled (I know I do, when I get to talking about this dude), here’s the gist:  exactly what it would take for Hidan to fall in love depends on the person, as different people have different appealing traits.  He is as capable of loving another person as most other people; it just manifests differently.  And lastly, romance isn’t going to change him.  It may soften certain edges, but there is not about to be this massive transformation.  As I’ve said multiple times here, Hidan is still (and always will be) Hidan, and if a potential lover believes he/she can handle that, and everything that comes with it, then he just might be worth a shot.

[beckettsthoughts]

And the last prompt of the night was sent to me by @shark-myths​, and the word I was given to work around was Transformations. Which, I mean, what a fantastic prompt to work with. This one is considerably longer than the others as I managed to power through an actual short story for this one, so I kept it under a cut to make it easier to read. I hope you enjoy it ~~

She was beginning to notice there was something different about Cameron. And no, it wasn’t just that he’d dyed his hair black and started listening to all this sad music, there was something tangibly different about Cameron, now. She could see it, sitting across from him in English class, but she couldn’t quite see what it was. He sounded just the same as ever when he was reading aloud from Of Mice and Men. He looked just the same, too, minus the hair and black outfits. When he stood at the end of class he seemed no taller, seemed bigger than before. When he awkwardly waited for her to rise from her own desk so that they could pick up

“So how’s the band going?” Leah asked.

“Not bad. We’re not good, don’t get me wrong, but we’re not doing bad.” Cameron answered vaguely, “We practise in the bunker after school on Fridays.”

Leah nodded. Everyone who practised did so in the bunker, an old concrete fort on the South coast cliffs. Leah had been there once, when her friend Maisie had been practising and wanted a lift home off Leah’s brother. She could imagine Cameron in the dark there, hunched in the corner while he fiddled with the plugs in his secondhand amp. It was funnier to imagine the whole band perched there like a murder of crows, all just as skinny and sad-looking as Cameron was. Leah’s friends and Cameron’s friend had an overlap, sometimes. Leah’s friends were more angry-looking than Cameron’s, but the frustration behind both was the same. All of the small-island kids were sad or angry or something of the sort. They weren’t well-adjusted for the rest of their lives, but they made some good music.

Leah nodded half-heartedly, “Are you playing original stuff?”

“Some.” Cameron shrugged.

Leah rolled her eyes. Talking to Cameron was like pulling teeth, sometimes, “What’re they about?”

“Changing.” Cameron declared, like it was some great monumental concept. Until Leah had heard it, she didn’t feel comfortable passing judgement. “Metamorphosis.” He continued, “Like Kafka, except literally nothing like Kafka.”

“That’s pretty interesting.” Leah told him, “If you get a gig sometime, let me know.”

“Will do.” Cameron assured.

As Leah stopped at her locker, Cameron walked on to his, to grab his cigarettes and head out into the carpark where they thought nobody could see the twenty-something teenagers who gathered there every lunchtime. Leah had friends out there, but she never went with them. She had friends who sat inside, as well. Cameron waved from the end of the corridor before shoving his hands in his pockets, turning to climb down the stairs. Leah was going to wave back, but he’d already rounded the corner. She would see him after Ethics, anyway.  

Leah kept noticing, after that, just how much Cameron changed. It seemed to grow a little more every day, but it was still impossible to pinpoint anything physical. He’d had another haircut, keeping his fringe artfully choppy and his dye-job haphazard. They spoke after lessons sometimes. Leah told him about how George had showed up to that gig last month wearing a Teletubby costume, and Cameron told her about how his friends had broken into a burnt-down hotel only to find people had already graffitied the same lyrics he’d been planning on painting there. They sat beside each other on the bus because they were the only two in their year-group to take that route, and they got off at the same stop. When the weather got warmer, they’d detour through the park rather than take the lane.

On one such day, with the May sunshine overhead and the crisp breeze coming in from the coast, Cameron walked with a great sense of purpose. If, Leah thought, that his purpose was to look as sad as if he was some tortured genius, and who was she to say he wasn’t just that? His gaze was fixed firmly on the gravel path beneath his feet and his hands were shoved stiffly into the pockets of that awful, pretentious peacoat of his. He paused when he reached the corner so that Leah could catch up with him, and despite all of his rigid posing she thought his messenger bag looked like it might just fall off his shoulder.

“There’s something different about me.” Cameron stated when he heard Leah approaching, and he looked over at her with furrowed brows, “You know, don’t you? What is it? What’s different?”

The messenger bag fell.

Cameron cursed quietly, as he reached down to several books that had fallen out of the bag. Leah helped him gather them up and directed them toward a nearby bench, somewhere for Cameron to sort them all out and shove unceremoniously back into his satchel. Cameron slouched down beside his bag and stared back at Leah. When she failed to answer the question, he asked her once again.

“What’s different, Leah?” He insisted, leafing through the papers that had escaped from his Media Studies folder, “I know you can tell.”

She sat next him on the cold park bench. Leah was more familiar with Cameron than most people probably assumed, after all, they were the same sort of people. Like with the change, Leah couldn’t describe how, exactly, but they were. Maybe it was because they’d been raised on the same estate, spent their childhoods playing in the same park and having lessons in the same school. Maybe it was because both of their families went back generations into the soil of the island itself. Maybe they were just angry and sad about the same things.

“You just seem different, now.”

“Is it magic?” Cameron mused forlornly, “Can I even, like, live the way I used to?”

He was hunched over like he was in pain and Leah was tempted to pat his shoulder, or something, in an attempt to be comforting. Cameron didn’t seem like the sort of person to appreciate being touched like that, so she restrained herself. She made it sound like a bigger effort than it was, really. She’d had far more sympathy before he’d suggested the possibility of magic. They knew magic, living where they did, and this was not it. Magic was a dark and writhing thing that came from the depths of the ocean and the travelled on the wings of a storm. It did not manifest in sad teenage boys who smoked cigarettes and lamented about their respective lack of musical talent to the rest of the scene. At least if it did, then it was a vastly different sort of magic.

“Nothing bad has happened yet, has it?” Leah reasoned, because it was more polite than telling him bluntly that he was worrying over nothing. She would have felt bad, then, if she had been wrong.

“No, I guess not.” Cameron sighed, “I just don’t want to be an outsider. I’m so tired.”

Again, Leah was tempted to inform him that he would, inevitably, always be an outsider. It’s what happened to people who moved to the mainland, and there was no avoiding it. They didn’t suit the rest of the world quite as well as they should. Instead, she turned her own thoughts around. Telling Cameron that would do nothing to help, right then. It was another discussion to be saved for the future.

“You’re moving away soon, right? So you won’t be an outsider. Nobody will know you’re different because it’ll be all new people, you’re supposed to be different. Everyone changes when they go to university.” Leah speculated. She didn’t have to believe it herself, as long as Cameron did.

Cameron argued, “But I’m not in university yet. I’m still here.”

Leah shrugged, “Maybe it just happened early, for you.”

“Maybe it did.” Cameron acquiesced, “What are you going to do? What are you going to become?”

Leah looked up at him once again, though he was smiling now. The sunglasses that usually hooked over the edge of his breast-pocket had migrated up to the bridge of his nose and he leaned back, looking a lot older and wiser than he had a few moments before. Maybe, Leah considered, that was what had changed. Without growing taller or slimmer or changing his voice or his style, he had grown older. It was a strange thought to be consciously thinking.

“Something big, hopefully. Would you believe me if I said I wanted to be famous, someday?” Leah answered. She didn’t want it to sound shallow, but she worried that it had.

“I would believe you.” Cameron told her.

Leah nodded solemnly, “Then, I guess, there it is. I want to be known for something. It’s, it’s stupid. I don’t know what for, but I want to be famous someday.”

“You will be, I think.” Cameron stated, and then he stood up from the bench.

And Leah stared, for a moment, like she would discover any moment that he’d grown wings or something. Great black crow’s wings that would rise up from beneath his wool coat, Cameron would love that. Then he held out a hand to pull her up and there were no crow’s feathers, no angelic halos or demonic horns and no faerie’s eyes, just Cameron. He had lifted the strap of his bag to cross his shoulder so it wouldn’t fall and his ridiculous hair was ruffled from the motion. She didn’t know him well-enough to feel comfortable pointing it out.

“Do I seem different to you?” She asked, suddenly.

“Yeah.” He answered seriously, looking her over before lifting his eyes, “I don’t know why, but something’s changed.”

[jvbam4]

I move the Spirit

In this charismatic age, believers are crying out for an unprecedented outpouring of God’s Spirit. One might ask the question “Why haven’t we seen more by now?”, and “when will we finally be done with our responsibility for world evangelization?” These are legitimate questions that all of us face. I have only one question: Could it be that God is waiting on us more than we are waiting on God?

A discontent has been rising in many hearts who hear these incredible promises of power and hope for our generation only to see few examples “doing the stuff” such as Reinhard Bonnke’s incredible ministry or Heidi Baker’s ministry in Mozambique, Africa. Surely there must be more than this in God’s heart for the world. Surely there must be more for us than just that.

All the promises in the bible have conditions on them. It would be foolish to assume the prophetic promises for our generation will just happen, without any of our involvement. Just ask generation X, who had the same prophetic potential of this present generation and you have to ask yourself “where are they in this present move of the Spirit?” We cannot sit idly like previous generations expecting these promises of latter day rains to be fulfilled. Jesus will not come back until the whole earth has been evangelized {Matt.24}. The anointing of God and hope for the restoration of all things has been a constant theme for any and every generation since the 1st century church even if the church was lost at times, heaven’s agenda remains the same, the 2nd coming of Jesus.

I feel that though the church in North America lacks power in prayer as a general whole, there are camps who pray as though prayer were the only issue. I believe in the power of prayer more than anyone but we have to consider that prayer is a place of communion with God in which he speaks to us what is on his heart, which tends to be his end-time purposes. Action is required on the part of all believers. We must pray with all fervency and act with all diligence, acting with an understanding that we already have The Spirit. Smith Wigglesworth said” if the Spirit is not moving, I move the Spirit.” Every Generation has a few men and women that become conscious that they are the habitation of God. These men and women are people of prayer but they are distinguished by their ability to manifest heaven at will.

A renewed mind is a mind that can demonstrate the good, pleasing and perfect will of God. Encounters with God change the way that we think until we view life from a heavenly perspective. Experiences with God are transforming fragrance to the soul. A renewed mind does not pray about every issue; the renewed mind has such contact with God that sometimes petitioning is not even needed. The renewed mind is so conscious of God it is already aware of what the Father would do in each given situation. Consider the story of the Red sea parting in Exodus 14.

Exodus 14:13

13 But Moses answered the people, “Fear not! Stand your ground, and you will see the victory the LORD will win for you today. These Egyptians whom you see today you will never see again.

14 The LORD himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still.”

15 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to go forward.

16 And you, lift up your staff and, with hand outstretched over the sea, split the sea in two, that the Israelites may pass through it on dry land.

17 But I will make the Egyptians so obstinate that they will go in after them. Then I will receive glory through Pharaoh and all his army, his chariots and charioteers.

18 The Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I receive glory through Pharaoh and his chariots and charioteers.”

[1] 

I find it interesting that Moses tells the people that God will break out on their behalf and then in the moment of pressure when things look really hopeless, he starts crying out to God [prayer] in desperation. What is even more interesting is that God asked him why he was praying! A similar situation is told in Mark 4:35-41, where Jesus quiets a storm in response to the disciple’s prayer and then asked” …where is your faith?” We are used to praying and then God answering our prayers but we are not used to being the vessel through which God answers. We are not used to being a person so possessed by the Spirit of God that we discern what the Spirit is doing and do it without hesitation because we have the mind Of Christ. It is one thing to pray, it is another thing to know how to stir up the Spirit of God in you and around you by faith and act as a move of God because you carry him as a New Testament ark of God. 

We need to know that at will we can release the power of God. We need to know that at will we can prophesy; at will we can heal the sick. When Jesus gave us authority in Luke 24 for the great commission, the word authority implies “the right to exercise”. That means God has given us the equipment and trusts us to use it through the Spirit. I don’t deny that there is an element to being led of the Spirit but most people don’t need to feel led of the Spirit to tend to the basic necessities of life. Neither should we need to feel led all the time concerning issues the bible makes extremely clear, like the preaching of the gospel and winning souls.

When Paul corrects the Corinthians in 1 Cor. 12-14 for their misuse of the Spiritual gifts, specifically their excessive speaking in tongues in corporate worship; interestingly enough he never denies that their activity came from the Spirit, it was just out of order. The Corinthians were accessing their inheritance of tongues at will but just in the wrong context. If we can speak in tongues at will by faith, I believe that we can also access many other gifts of The Spirit at will, at any moment by desire[by faith]. “While the church is waiting to hear the next word from God, he is waiting to hear THE dream of his people”[2]

In conclusion, the point of this paper is to ultimately prove one point. God has done all the work and he has given us every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places {Eph.1:3}. Now our responsibility is to be aware of what we carry in God and not pray aimlessly about very issue but commune with God. In this process we become the answer to prayer, knowing that we can stir up the Spirit within us to do anything that is before our eyes, not always needing a leading from the Lord to do so. We have authority, “the right of privilege” to do these things. When we do this, we no longer “waiting on the Lord” in the wrong misapplied sense but we’ve learned to flow and release the answers to prayer that our hearts often desire. This is confirmed in Ephesians 3, where Paul prays for Holy Spirit indwelt believers to see God’s love and experience his fullness and he ends his prayer with this20Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us,…[3] Everything we pray or dream about will be accomplished only one way, when we realize that it’s by the power that works within us; when we use our unlimited access to the things of God.

Kingdom Mindset

The reality of the kingdom of God is within us. There’s a God consciousness that is brewing in the hearts of every believer. There’s a hunger to want more, to experience Jesus. To experience great and unceasing joy. 

The realm of God’s dominion lives within the blood bought body of every believer. We have not yet experienced physical resurrection when it comes to our bodies, but that day is coming. Yet God’s kingdom is on the earth now. It’s not fully here like it will be in the day Jesus returns, but it is here!

“The kingdom of God is at hand. repent and believe this good news(mark 1:15).

The Kingdom Of God

The Kingdom of God is the rule and reign of God. The word kingdom literally means “king’s domain.” The presence of the king brings the presence of the kingdom. The disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray. Many christians long to know God’s will. In the Lord’s prayer we see the revealed will of God. His will for our lives is on earth as it is heaven.

Matthew 6:9-10

“pray then in this way: “our father who in heaven, hallowed by your name.‘Your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

Jesus makes it abundantly clear, The Kingdom of God is the invisible realm around you. It’s the realm of “as it is in heaven on earth.” Jesus wants the realm of heaven to invade the earth. When Jesus asked us to pray this prayer he was basically saying, “guys, my will is not being done on the earth as it is in heaven but I want it to be. So pray that my kingdom comes!”

There is an invitation to experience God in the earth. God is saying “hey remember the garden of Eden where heaven touched earth, I’m still into the idea. I live in you, and now my kingdom, my presence is in your body. Heaven lives inside of you!”

So what’s Heaven like?

When God declares that he wants to pour out the fire-water of heavenly glory. You have to say yes! He’s declaring a place with no sickness, no disease, no poverty, no sorrow, and no sin. Obviously the world won’t be perfect until Jesus comes back, but he wants us to fill as much of the earth with his kingdom as we will allow. God has allowed us to become conduits of his glory and he will use us to the degree we allow him. The invitation to experience heaven on earth is here. there is only freedom and intimacy with Jesus.

Here’s the deal

The Lord’s prayer shows us that it is God’s will for heaven to invade. It is God’s will for healing, divine health, prosperity, peace, rest, goodness, and glory. If it’s not in heaven we are under a divine mandate to obliterate anything that has it’s origins in hell. Our enemies are not people but sickness, disease, premature death, sin, and poverty. If it’s not good, it’s not God. 

The implications of this are incomprehensible! We get to experience heaven on earth! This is what Jesus died to purchase. We have a responsibility as gatekeepers of the earth to demonstrate the power of God, to destroy the works of the devil as Jesus did. Every time he healed someone he was destroying a work of the devil. If sickness is God’s will then why take medicine? Why fight God? Deep down we all know that good fathers don’t afflict their children with sickness to give them a lesson. Some of the things we blame God for are ridiculous. Remember this, God is good all the time. Period. 

It’s in you

The kingdom of God is so near all the time. His presence is readily available to the sons of God because of Christ Jesus. The blood of Jesus is enough, his cleansing flow has made us the envy of the legions of darkness and the religious spirit of today’s world can’t keep us from bursting with the reality of heaven. 

When you connect with God your identity changes. Everything about you emits heaven and the peaceful lifestyle that exists there. You were radically delivered from your past. Your future now creates the portrait that is your present identity. Your future personality and anointing are installed in the new birth. It’s part of the package deal! It’s included. It’s thrown in. Now we have to take our identity for a spin and see how it handles. We have Holy Ghost all-wheel drive! We don’t have a sinful nature! Now we get to walk in that daily and experience the reality of being the righteousness of God.

Righteousness

What is righteousness? Righteousness is the “rightness” of God in your Spirit, the rightness of God in your health, your finances, your relationships, and your mind. You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus( 2 Cor. 5:21). Righteousness came to Abraham because he believed. It wasn’t because he worked, but because of his belief in a promise. The promise that God was good and that He would make Abraham great. 

You are righteous. Not because of you but because of him. His testimony will be that he has created a righteous family from his blood. His seed has created a new species. Something the world has never seen before. It’s yours if you believe it is. The life you want is there if you believe it is. 

God loves the audacious because the audacious respond to his word. They have no shame. They are too desperate for breakthrough to settle. That attracts God! He loves the scent of faith. That leaning of the whole personality upon God. It moves him to respond. He loves it when we take him at his word and pull on his resources. 

Romans 6:10-12 AMP

10 For by the death he died, he died to sin(ending his relation to it) once for all; and the life that he lives, He is living to God(in unbroken fellowship with him).

11 Even so consider yourselves also dead to sin and your relation to it broken, but alive to God(living in unbroken fellowship) in Christ Jesus. 

12 Let not sin therefore rule as king in your mortal (short lived, perishable) bodies, to make you yield to it’s cravings and be subject to it’s lusts and evil passions. 

You are dead to sin. To be “dead: means to be without life, to be unresponsive. God judged that sinful heart and destroyed it on the cross. He then outfitted you with a new nature. One that is like God. At conversion, your lustful tendencies were eradicated by the torn flesh of the lover. With a cry that pierced the veil in the temple, He yelled “it is finished.” When he died so did you and when you were raised to life you were in him. You are now partakers of resurrection life. Resurrection power lives in your spirit. 

So why?

If this has all been bought for us why are so many christians in sin? The reality is that most Christians chase their tail spiritually. They cry out for victory instead of living from victory. They don’t access the bank account with the goodies, they keep waiting for something to drop from heaven. It’s the proverbial dog chasing the tail connected to it’s body. Most christians I’ve seen are always striving to get into the Holy of Holies. You know how hard it is to get into a room you’re already in. Imagine the frustration of trying to accomplish something that’s already done and living like it’s not. We do that with the cross all the time. We never allow our hearts to marinate in the reality of our identity before God. How he sees us is tantamount to our christian experience. When we strive for what is already ours, we position ourselves to be religious. 

We are conditioned to judge ourselves based on our performance. Our jobs and our lives are dominated by metrics and stats. The common phrase: “What have you done for me lately?” comes to mind. Our hearts have been focused for too long on us. The constant examination is not healthy. It takes our eyes off Jesus. Looking at Christ is the only path to transformation. Condemnation is a cycle that brings you to a religious lifestyle. The only way to bear fruit is to abide. To be. To trust in what Christ has done. You can’t leave the tent of meeting because the oil of God is resting on you. 

Practical Steps

Repent and turn away from negative thinking. Self-hatred, self loathing and critical thinking must go. Focus constantly on who Jesus is. Worship, pray and seek him. Focus constantly on “Christ in you, the hope of Glory.” Seek God knowing that you are who he says you are. You are righteous and delightful. Realize that he is more committed to you than you could ever be to him and be patient. Change can take time. 

Prayer

Father God, I just pray that Spirit of wisdom and revelation, the Holy Spirit would just breathe on these words and touch my heart. Forgive me for attributing the devil’s work to you. Forgive me for saying you were good but in my heart of hearts believing otherwise. Thank you for forgiving me and help me see as you truly are. Help me love me the way that you love me. Help me to love myself. 

[1]: Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. Board of Trustees ; Catholic Church. National Conference of Catholic Bishops ; United States Catholic Conference. Administrative Board: The New American Bible : Translated from the Original Languages With Critical Use of All the Ancient Sources and the Revised New Testament. Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, 1996, c1986, S. Ex 14:13

[2]: Bill Johnson

[davidaolson]

The long, leisurely drive from Garden of the Gods to the Comfort Inn in Alamosa where we will hole up during our visit to the Great Sand Dunes National Park takes us by the Florissant Fossil Beds National Monument. It is happenstance. We had no idea it existed. We see the sign. Have the time. Stop for a visit. As the name suggests, it is famous for fossil beds including massive stumps of petrified redwood trees. After watching the Park Service video, I am most anxious to encounter the petrified beings, to touch the stone rings stretching deep into the seasons before man attempted to harness time, before man created gods in her own image, before woman anointed herself lord of creation.

Outside the main doors, there is a very small loop where the largest of all the unearthed stumps are on display. Though they have completely turned to stone, they look fresh, newly exposed wooden stumps that can easily be chopped into kindling or cut horizontally for spectacular multi-hued, deeply ringed tables. They are held together with 1/2 inch binding metal strapping wrapped around their circumference to help them hold form. Entropy has a way of driving things to crumble and decay. The bands stave off the crumbling. For how long, I can’t say. Still rusts. Entropy is formidable, unrelenting, always the victor.

The downside? We cannot touch the ancient beings. A dry moat and fence separate us. There will be no running my fingers over the rings, no feeling for a petrified pulse, no communion with the venerable trees. I understand why. People can be assholes. They will nibble away at the fragments. Stuff chips into their pockets and scurry off like packrats adding the memorabilia to a collection of forgotten trinkets gathered over the years. A few bastards ruin it for everyone.

We choose as our longish hike, considering there are some time constraints, the mile-long Petrified Forest Loop which winds around a number of the petrified redwood stumps. The loop is almost completely flat with vistas of the mountains in the background of short prairie grasses in the foreground and a smattering of trees. It meanders. We drift soaking up the gorgeous weather, basking in the ambiance, enjoying the stillness, thankful this is a decidedly uncrowded trail and there are no screeching voices raping the silence. We only encounter one other group, a hobbling grandfather with a cane and his two highly energized grandsons, two playful kittens rough house tumbling in their own joyful world.

The second stump we approach is massive but lacking the girth of those at the trail’s start. Its presence should align my senses like metal filings marching to invisible magnetic lines. But it doesn’t. I am more powerfully attracted to the tall, lifeless tree behind the stump up on a small knoll. I say lifeless because I can see no Spring buds like the surrounding copse. The bare branches are gnarled with arthritic joints. I say lifeless knowing looks can be deceiving. I say lifeless yet I feel an energetic connection across the space separating our two living souls. I stand transfixed gazing at its magnificence wishing to comprehend the long life journey from seedling to sapling thru maturity into now.

I need to get closer, need to make physical contact with the tree now knowing that is a deception. However, it is off the official trail behind another damn fence and a petulant sign, a petty bureaucrat happily handcuffed by inane rules demanding obeisance stipulating we stick to the established trail. ‘I’s dotted. ‘T’s crossed. Signed in triplicate. Stamped by the grand poobah. I opt for a few wide-angle and zoomed photographs.

Frustrated, I kick the fence. It cracks. Should I beat the bastard down and score a victory against tyranny? No. Despite my rebellious streak, I do tend to follow rules…sometimes. We turn to leave. One step. Two steps. I sense a strengthened pulse, tease a whisper off the leading edges of the wind that hit me in waves synchronized with the inhalation of my own breathing.

I pivot back, walk around the fence, cross the forbidden zone, halt at the foot of the majestic being. The bark is missing. Flayed by entropy? Age? Elements? Colonies of ants once making the between layer a colony home? Where are the ants now? What happened to their sultry queen?

Bark gone, the heartwood is exposed, raw nerves open to driving wind and cascading rain, searing heat and bitter cold, the chewing mandibles of insects, bird’s pointed beak digging for larvae. Does it feel pain? I imagine the sensitivity of my own flesh with the outer epidermal layer missing and I’m staked to the mast of a sailing ship the salt spray burning holes in my desire to live. Does that approximate the experience of this being?

I reached for the tall trees exposed flesh. Did I say tree? I hesitate calling it Tree even with a capital T. Too much baggage in the four-letter word, too many assumptions contained in the generic label. How should I reference this being many times taller than me? Deity? Demi-God? Do I have the courage to come face to face with a God? In the Bible, seeing the face of God meant death. God declares, “You cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.” Which then begs the question, what is a face?

I don’t throw these loaded God words with fanfare or poetic license rather for the transformative effect on my soul, my cluttered, encumbered, burdened soul. But I will use the archaic term for clarity. Anyway, at the instant I finally press flesh to flesh, energy flows into me and my mind calms. The disappointment lingering from the Garden of Gods visit is washed away. Free at last. Free at last.

The trunk is warmer than the surrounding air by at least 10° if not more. I’m not good at estimating temperature. The marked difference is strange. I can see if was basking in the sun but there’s a heavy cloud cover. I’ve never encountered a warm-blooded tree. Err…warm sapped tree?

There’s a definite pulse. A strong pulse…daaaa dummm, daaaa dummm…slower than a human pulse…daaaa dummm, daaaa dummm. There is one tree pulse to every four or five of my own. If I could slow my system to match, would my life span quadruple, quintuple? What would life be like 200 or 300 years into the future? What did this tree see 400 years in the past? Definitely a blooded tree. I press my ear against the body. There’s a heartbeat too. Incredible.

The tree is not significant in diameter. I wrap my arms around it to feel the warmth more deeply. There’s a slight give similar to pressing the surface skin on a very cold batch of chocolate pudding. I squeeze tight, feel my body penetrate the surface then, like a noodle being slurped into a mouth sans the slurping sound, I’m pulled into the tree. Inside the tree? I’m broader than the tree. How can I fit inside?

I look around. The tree is bigger on the inside than the outside? Tardis? Doctor? Doctor, are you here? Romana? K9? Maybe, it’s not that doctor. Clara? River? Amy? Rose? Wishful thinking.

I am able to see in a 360° arch without moving my head. There’s a slight cast like looking through a one-way mirror. There’s my wife. I knock. The knock echoes loudly. She doesn’t move. I slam the wall with my fist. Still, nothing. I’m out there too with my hand still pressed against the barkless flesh.

I have not physically popped inside the tree. My body is still intact on the outside. My mind and soul shed the flesh and wormed their way into Tree. Freaky! How is Irene not able to tell she’s standing next to shell David? Is it because my internal life is so inconsequential there is, in effect, no difference between whole David and shell David? That shines some light on my life.

How do I reconnect with my shell? A problem for later? A problem at all? If she can’t tell the difference why not simply exist in both places? If this tree lived for 100s of years, might my mind and soul also exist inside of Tree for another hundred years? That would give me 100 years of solitude. Ever since living in India, I find my self increasingly craving solitude. But for 100 years? I might go insane. If I’m not already insane? How do trees maintain sanity when living for so long. Hell, Methuselah is almost 5000 years old! If I do get out of here, I must make sure a vacation wraps around meeting Methuselah.

Perhaps, I am already beyond insane and believing I’m inside a tree is another manifestation of my insanity. If I can see myself outside, do I have multiple personalities? I must be cray cray. I know! It’s the CO2! Trees breathe CO2. I’m in the tree, probably inside the lungs and am breathing CO2 into my lungs. It must be fucking with my perceptions of reality. And if I’m breathing in CO2, I must be inside the three which means I’m not crazy. Am I the first being to slip inside a tree?

“No, you are not,” a feminine sounding voice echoed in the cavernous space. “We share our space with more insects by weight than 50 of you. We give them home, they massage us and keep us clean. They raise their families in the crevices of our bark, build nests in the holes vacated by songbirds. We allow songbirds to bore holes in our body and inhabit those holes. For our small sacrifice, we are guaranteed daily songs, nightly prayers, and decaying matter to enrichen soil filtering succulent water to sip in through our roots. And the bird song aids in our meditation.”

“Who…who is we?”

“We are Tree. Tree is We?”

“Tree? Is that your name?”

“We have many names. To some We are Anito. Others call We Kathor or Bo. In parts of China, We are known as Pi-Fang. There are as many names for We as there are peopled tribes.”

“What shall I call you?” Time to get to the essence of the name. If I know what they call themselves, I will have better insight into who they are.

“You may call We…Tree. It is a common term in your lexicon and a communication tool easy for your mind to grasp.”

Shit! Thwarted by a tree. “Nice to meet you, Tree.”

“Likewise, David. It’s obvious you don’t realize this but We have met before, many times before. We have watched you grow your entire life.”

That’s creepy. I feel like I’ve been stalked! Push that ill-feeling away. There is so much to learn. What shall I ask next? Obvious. “Why does We sound like a woman? And why do meditate?”

“You are interpreting to assuage the needs of your psyche. It is likely you view women as nurturers and are more comfortable having this conversation with a feminine persona, a female hero. It can also be because deep down you realize trees are givers of life. Never takers.

Your second question. We have no voice. We meditate because We sustains We. Walking is not possible. Through meditation, We march under and across open land easily creating an above-ground forest with aerial canopies. We as a family invite all to share in this glory. The marching is put into play by our mind while in deep meditation. With each new We, our meditation power amplifies exponentially until an entire forest of We creates a unique ecosystem breathing life into this planet. Without We, you would not be.”

“That’s kinda arrogant!”

“How are facts arrogant? We created the oxygen necessary for your emergence. We create oxygen necessary for your continued existence. Ergo, without We, you would not be. You may even say, We are your creator being.”

“Is that all you do? Create an atmosphere so man can be?”

“Hardly, We create atmospheres that all life may be. Not just humanity. Through our meditation, We make thoughts manifest.”

“What does that mean…to make manifest?”

“Our unified thought is so powerful it cannot be contained in simple synapse connecting electric impulses. The energy builds and Our thoughts explode into physical beings. Hummingbird is the outward manifestation of highly focused, deep thought exploding into Kaleidoscopic light. Hummers collect pollen from flowers instantiating the sex act between plants. It’s rapidly flicking tongue drives both female and male flower parts to long orgasm fruits which you not only enjoy eating but add to your health.”

“Whoa…your thoughts create hummingbirds?”

“Yes, We do. Those ancients lying dormant in the field behind you were much stronger. There were many more We in their day thus the meditative energy was intensified. They created Sparrow, Hawks, Flicker. Our ultimate creation, the one we are most proud of…

“I know.” I blurt out. “You all are most proud of is Golden Eagle.”

“No. Golden Eagle was meditated into existence during a season of tree self-aggrandization. It soared on the wave of inflated tree egos. We have since achieved a deeper, other-centered harmony and no longer create Golden. It’s why their numbers are so low. Their tribe is sustained solely on egg production. We no longer augment that race.”

I sensed a tinge of regret. “Sad?”

“Sad? No. It is merely the normal progression of life. All beings jump to a new body when the old one dies. Life continues just in different forms. As forms change, knowledge of the previous incarnation is carried deep in the brain’s core. It’s how empathy is created between beings vastly different than ourselves. If you love dogs, it means you were likely once a dog.”

“That’s Karma!” I blurted feeling proud of my intimate knowledge of life’s intricacies. And to show tree I was smarter than We.

“Close but no.”

“No? I’ve read about Buddhism. I lived in India. I’m familiar with karma.”

“Karma says the sum of previous existences decides fate in a future incarnation.

“Exactly.”

That Karma is a distortion of reality bent by the scratched prism of human minds because your kind has a need to believe they control their future. It is the same with all your ‘religions’. Truth becomes twisted and mangled until humans are at the center and the reason life exists.”

I find myself intrigued. My views on religion are similar. “Then what do you mean?”

“The next phase is a random act. A body is ready, the being’s soul is ready. And voilà. Existence in a new state.”

“Each person has one and only one soul that is judged by the Good Lord Above upon physical death?” Poised as a question but really a statement.

“Religion misinterpreted to mold reality into man’s narrow ability to grasp the immensity of the pluraverse.”

“Pluraverse? How does that align with our universe?”

“There are multiple universes superimposed upon each other. Thus a pluraverse. There are three here right now.”

I crane my neck trying to get a glimpse of the parallels.

“Don’t bother trying to see them on your own. The human ability to perceive is narrow, myopic, unable to perceive there are many universes right here, right now. Only one exists in color bands your eyes can see. Humans discriminate colors with three cones. Mantis shrimp have 12 and can see more colors than you can imagine including ultraviolet, infrared and x-ray. Trees see with 9.”

“Trees can see?”

“Of course.”

“Where are your eyes?”

“We don’t need eyes as you imagine them to see.”

“What’s in the parallel universes?”

“The petrified being you looked at before coming up here is, to you, a stump, a decayed tree replaced with rock. It is petrified and struggling to fend off entropy.”

“What do you see?”

“In the slowly vibrating, infrared lighted parallel universe, We see a massive redwood still living, growing strong, shouting thought leaves into the sky some morphing into songbirds…”

“Birds again. You seem to have a single-minded focus on birds.”

“We are of a collected mind, never single-minded. Our primary focus is giving life to the world. Life without music lacks purpose. So, We make sure there’s a constant infusion of birds to add their beautiful songs.”

“And why is that? You are not God. What is it your responsibility to create life?”

“Responsibility? It is our joy. We are not God but, then, neither is God a God. The ultimate is an aggregation of the Collective Consciousness extant in all beings. We serve the Collective Consciousness by breathing oxygen into the pluraverses and exercising our unique gifts to infuse birds into the mix.”

“Hold on a second. If God is another name for the Collective Consciousness by extrapolation all contributors to the Collective Consciousness are God.”

“In a manner of speaking.”

“That’s so heavy. And it corroborates an essay I wrote in college with the conclusion being that I was God as was everything else. I guess I’m a man ahead of his time.”

“Yes, I can see it being heavy for one who has not existed for more than a century in continuous meditation. We Tree are sanyasi, truth seekers. We abandoned the folly of disconnected individualism eons ago instead unifying under a single meditative hum. Our unified meditation has given us understanding well beyond the imaginable approaching the ultimate infinite.”

“I need to understand ultimate truth. Please tell me.” Hoping I don’t sound too needy.

“Humanity is the only beings not ready to accept ultimate truth. Birds do especially Lord Raven who’s mind thinks in poetry born of supreme meditation. All the animals and plants do. Human minds have not developed the capacity to simultaneously hold two opposite ideas believing them to be opposing truths.”

“What?”

“I will provide you with a simple example. To you, black and white are opposites. Black can’t be white. White can’t be black. Light and dark are mutually exclusive and can’t coexist.”

“Obviously!”

“We know black defines white. Light dances with dark. There is no difference between white and black.”

“That make’s absolutely no sense!”

“As We said, your kind are not ready. Evolution is slower in some than others.”

I needed to take back control of this screwy train of thought. There is knowledge here to be gained. How do I manipulate a tree? “Ok. Ok. I will accept what you said at face value. What can I grasp at this stage in my cognitive development?”

“That depends…”

Silence. Tree stopped talking. Seconds tick off into minutes that roll into hours. I wait until the silence gnaws through the ropes binding my patience and I am compelled to fill the void. “Depends on what???”

“I see you have very little patience so I doubt you have what it takes to absorb Our knowledge.”

“I’m patient. I waited minutes before jumping in with my question.”

“You were silent less than 10 seconds even then your mind was churning.”

“Well. I’m better than I used to be. With your help, I know I can grow the patience and learn from you.”

“Are you ready to spend eternity with me? Give up life as you know it and merge into the We? Because that is what it will take for you to begin grasping our knowledge.”

“Oh Shit. Uh. There is so much to see in this world. I’m not ready to set roots down in this isolated place for the next 100 years. So, no. I don’t wish to merge with We…at least…not yet. Perhaps when I’m old and sitting on the border between now and next.”

“Wise choice, human.”

I can’t leave empty-handed. It would be an extreme waste of a learning opportunity. “Can you show me something? A glimpse of all you have learned? Something my mind can grasp with a little stretching? Maybe a tidbit that will make sense down the line?”

“What you request means pecking a hole in this reality and allowing you to enter our dreamvision.”

“Fantastic! Let’s dream away.” I close my eyes and wait for sleep to take over. “I guess I’m too eager here. How can I dream wide awake?”

There are dreams, visions, and dreamvisions. I can dreamvision all of what came before me and some of what is yet to be. Entering our dreamvision is quite easy. Just follow my instructions. Breathe in for a 7 count. Hold for 4 counts. Exhale for 8 counts.”

“How long is a count?”

“Synchronize your counting to the beating of your heart. The inhalations will fill your lungs with CO2 and help you on the journey.”

“Whoa. CO2 is deadly to humans. Doh. My body is out there. It’s my soul in here. My soul has no lungs.”

“It is a mindset. You are correct and the CO2 cannot hurt your spirit.”

“How can my spirit breathe? It’s bodies that breathe.”

“You need to trust We on this. Repeat the breathing sequence a few more times making sure it is perfectly aligned with your heartbeat.”

I cannot sense my heartbeat. I put my hand on my imaginary chest. There it is. Da-dum. Da-dum. Breathe in 7 counts. Hold 4 counts. Exhale 8 counts. Repeat. Repeat. I’m feeling light-headed.

“You should be feeling lightheaded. The Carbon Dioxide is infusing your system soon you will pass out.”

“Pass Out?” I pull out of the breathing sequence. My vision is reduced to a tunnel which, in time, returns to normal.

“Yes. Pass out. The CO2 is a shock to an oxygen-breathing being. Don’t worry though you will awake almost instantaneously and experience the dreamvision of We. Just let yourself go.”

“But… but…but…I don’t want toooo….I’m afrai…”

A raven croaks. A long, drawn-out croak. A soulful croak. It’s long, held in perfect pitch, a vocalist singing and extended until the breath is exhausted then persisting a few heartbeats longer.

“What’s up with the Raven?”

“Raven unties memory knots helping us to recollect past and future memories.”

I open my eyes. Two moons hang in the sky, waning crescent moons half as bright as the sun piercing the clouds on a foggy day. “How can there be two moons? Why are they flickering between black and white?”

“There are always two moons. You are seeing through the eyes of We, seeing what We see. As I told you, the parallel universes are always present, superimposed in the now. The flickering you see is your mind approaching the ability to comprehend that black and white, dark and light are identical.”

“The moon was full yesterday. How can they be identical crescents today?”

“The moons are not identical. One is waning, the other is waxing. And what makes you believe today is today?”

“Isn’t today always today?”

“You have entered the meditative dream of We. Today, yesterday, even tomorrow have no meaning. We can experience any point on the time continuum beginning with the emerge of First Tree. Think of it as being fully present in the now and now can be any now, any time, the particular now necessary for enlightening. Trees are all bodhisattvas and we are sharing bodhisattva experience with you.”

“Bodhisattvas? Like the Buddha?”

“Of course. Do you recall where Siddhartha Gautama achieved enlightenment to become Buddha?”

“Beneath the Bodhi tree in what is now Bodh Gaya, India. I’ve been there a couple of times. I collected some leaves fallen from the tree. My wife framed them. They sit on our bookshelf.”

“You don’t think it was an accident that Siddhartha became Buddha beneath a tree, do you?”

I could be a smartass and say coincidence but this seems like the wrong time. I wanted to see where Tree teaching took me. “I guess not.”

“It was We who shared the knowledge opening Siddhartha’s eyes. Over the days he meditated at Our feet, we dropped leaves around and on him. Some became birds before touching Earth. Others were perfumed with understandings of the Universal Consciousness puzzle. It took a while until Siddhartha was able to connect the pieces into partial understanding, enough for a slice of enlightened knowledge. That is the origins of Buddhism.”

“Partial understanding?”

“Yes. As I said, the human mind, in its present evolution, cannot grasp full knowledge. So, we dispense what is needed when it is needed. As has been our practice throughout your history.”

“There are others?”

“Yes. Siddharta was one of the few with a spirit evolved sufficiently to grasp a fragment of true knowledge. He achieved the fourth phase in one lifetime.”

“Fourth phase? Grandfather taught me about the four phases. Do you know grandfather?” It was a question to which I immediately knew the answer.

“Of course. Grandfather is also We.”

“Were there others you gifted special knowledge? Of course, you just said were there were others. Who else have you gifted this enlightening knowledge to?”

“There have been many others.”

“Like who?”

“Moses at the burning bush. It was we who simulated burning in his mind and dispensed the knowledge needed at that a point in history to help humanity on their journey. There was Jesus at the fig tree. We scared him so he made We whither then avoided We for a long time. He learned enough to understand the necessity of loving one’s neighbor. We needed to engage with him again to complete his teaching but didn’t have the opportunity until he was hammered into the cross. The cross was We and We completed his education. When he moaned, “It is finished.” it was because he finally understood and was ready to leave the fourth phase into Spirit existence.”

“Are you telling me you instigated the great religious revivals?”

“Yes. It was communion with We that inspired Mohammad’s recitation of the Islamic Holy Book. We have gifted a litany of shaman’s and holy people throughout history reaching way back to the cave paintings in El Castillo, Spain and Sulawesi, Indonesia. There are older ones from the Neanderthals that have yet to be discovered. Few remain because CroMagon man destroyed them believing they were against their view of God. Your kind seems to never learn.

We point you forward yet you choose to close your eyes. We always chose a messenger from a person in their fourth phase because they have proven themselves capable of spiritual evolution. The problem is the many in the early phases with marginal abilities to comprehend the ultimate, grasp onto the lowest limbs and force them down the throats of others as gospel. And thus you have your unholy wars, your dogmatic religious practices, the hate across belief systems.”

“Why are humans always the recipients of your knowledge. Why not animals?”

“Animals, plants, rocks, all beings other than man are many lifetimes into the spiritual phase and coexist in the Collective Consciousness. They are also We.”

“This is absolutely fascinating. I must share this with the world. Too bad my blog has so few followers. Our world is pretty fucked up now. Hopefully, you’ve picked out the next great teacher to help guide us. The US has an orange baboon in highest office fighting with cockroaches on both sides of congress. Evil is gaining strongholds the world over with a stranglehold on political power. An enlightened teacher is needed now, was needed yesterday.”

“Yes, indeed.”

“Have you found one yet?”

“We have. In the past, We chose messengers who achieved the fourth phase in one life cycle believing their intelligence was the key success. This time We have decided on an individual that has struggled through many life cycles to reach the fourth phase. The thinking is that resilience is key and their experiences will help cement the message in souls also struggling to progress.”

“Who is it? Can you tell me? Would I know her, him, they?”

“Grandfather tells We, you are ready.”

“Me?”

“You have been chosen.”

“But, I’m a nobody. What can I possibly do? Nope. Not me. Pick another…someone with…with…I don’t know. Someone who is not me. I am getting old. Retirement is a few years away. I want to spend my time traveling. No one will listen to me. I have proof. My blogs have been out for a good 7 years and they have few followers.”

I pause, breathe. Wait for a response. Nothing.

“How can Tree expect me to nudge the course of human history when I can get barely any blog followers? You know, I’m a loner. No one will listen to a loner. I can’t even maintain friendships. Who would take a loner seriously? A half baked, half-assed loner like me?”

“As were they all…”

“What? You are equating me with the prophets? With the Son of Man?”

“Of course not…not yet. They were all similar to you before their anointing. They did not believe in themselves. But they all made the leap.”

“Hmmm…let’s say I acquiesce with your ask. Will I be well known? Will my blogs increase in followers making me an influencer?”

“That is hardly the point but yes. You will be well known, near-universally known. As such, near-universally loved and near-universally hated. Your penchant for solitude will be critical for you to rejuvenate. We foresee long periods of alone time in the desert.”

“That I like. I love the desert…especially red deserts with twisted canyons…but you knew that, didn’t you?”

“Of course. But that doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Ok…let’s say, for the sake of argument, I play along. And I’m assuming I have a choice?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

“Why me? Why now?”

“We could go into extensive detail about why you but you would throw up objection after objection to any and all logical or illogical, spiritual or corporeal arguments. To avoid the fruitless, a bit of Tree humor there, debate, We will just say, ‘Why not you?’”

“I get that. Then my 2nd question, why now?”

“History has cycles, ebbs and flows. There are buds in spring, fruit in summer, color in the fall, and barren winter days when We withdraw into our subterranean root system. Humanity, mentally, is in a trough…worse than being barren. When barren, fruit is not created. When in a trough, the fruit is actively destroyed.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“Do you not read your own blog? Despite the metrics pointing to this being one of the safest points in history, The powerful would have everyone believe we are in crisis and must resort to isolationism and hoarding. It is they who are forcing the crisis mentality. History is struggling because of a small but influential swath of humanity. We are in a point where the numbers show flowing yet the voices of the elect claim we are ebbing, stuck in a trough and fighting a squall. In the current human trough, the fruit is being poisoned. Humanity is the poison fruit destroying all life including your own.”

“Is it global or only America?”

“Narrow thinking. It is impossible to be healthy in isolation. We is connected globally through an extensive root system. We are aware of everything happening everywhere simultaneously. We are acutely aware of the complete and total interconnectedness of all beings.”

“Humans are deluded by the egregious belief that one arbitrary enclosed space can exist isolated from all others and be healthy. It is a dangerous delusion that will destroy the planet including your America.”

“No surprise there.”

“It is your destiny to awaken humanity before the tipping point and the impossibility of return.”

“Destiny. I am beginning to hate that word. I gather this won’t be easy?” A half question at best. A question to which I already knew the answer. Why ask it? I don’t know. Sometimes, I need to hear the obvious.

“No. Change never is. Think to your corporate life?”

“You are aware of my corporate life?”

“Yes. Are We not on the patio of your office?”

“Yup.”

“As We said, all are interconnected including the We planted on your 7th-floor office patio. Change is difficult in a corporation with a clearly defined mission. The difficulty of course-correcting humanity will be like escaping from inside a black hole. You will be adored, reviled, ignored all at the same time, by the same individuals. You will have all beings, with the possible exception of roaches who expect to inherit Earth once your kind destroys it, helping you in this quest to save the world.”

“I enjoy a challenge but, I’ve got to say, none of this ‘reality’ endears me to the cause.”

“Better a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion.”

“I love that quote. Did Ed Abbey get that from you?”

“No. Enlightenment is multidirectional. We learned quite a lot from Abbey. He wrote with such wisdom, opened up new worlds for We to see.”

“As did I.” Emotion roiled in my soul for the author I appreciated more than all others. I still feel anguish at his passing.

“Ok. I’m reluctant but if it’s written in the stars I guess…well…destinies are as destinies will be.”

“Destinies are destinies and one of yours will influence all of ours.”

“So much pressure. What’s next?”

“We teach you to connect with the universal harmonic. It helps you to tune in the Universal Consciousness, turn on to the connectedness, and drop out from the mental clutter wall separating you from Everything.”

“You must be referencing the Aum.”

“Each being connects in their own way. To humans, the way is through repetition of the Aum.”

“Aum in 108 repetitions.”

“No. Again a human distortion of knowledge shared ages ago. The 108 is manmade not universe ordained. Are you ready?”

“Yes. I think I am.”

“I will lead you. All you need do is repeat after me until you are tuned in. After that, it’s in your hands. Until then, follow me closely. So I can steer you clear of the broken worlds laying shattered inside. You’re not strong enough for those yet. Visiting one could give you a Psychic wound. They are difficult, almost impossible to recover from.”

“I’ve heard enough. Let’s kick this off. Hit it, Tree.”

“Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.”

“Auumm.”

“Longer. Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.”

“Aaauuummm”

“Listen closely. It is much longer. Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.”

“Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.”

“Keep repeating. Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.”

“Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm. Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm. Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.” Raven croaks, almost as if it is laughing. “Hey, I’m feeling an internal vibration. Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.”

“You’re getting it. Keep going. Hold the Aum longer.”

“Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm. Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuummmmmm. I’m getting a vision. Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.”

“David.”

“Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm. Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.”

“Ccooommmme ooonnnn.”

“Come on? Tree what’s that supposed to mean. Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.”

“David, Comme ooonnnn. I want to get to the dunes today before it’s dark. Let’s finish up this hike so we can get to the dunes.”

“Dunes?” How confusing. “Aaaaaauuuuuuummmmmm.” I feel a strong tug on my arm and open my eyes. It’s my wife.

“You’ve had enough time to photograph this dead tree. We need to get going if we’re going to make Great Sand Dunes before sunset.”

“What?” My hand is still pressed against the tree. The bark is cold. There’s no heartbeat. “What the hell? Have you been here the entire time?”

“What do you mean the entire time. It’s only been a few minutes. There’s some bright orange lichen on this petrified stump. I think they would make a great picture.”

“I can’t be worrying about pictures now. There’s so much to do if I’m going to save the world.”

“Save the world?”

“Tree said it was my destiny…” I stopped. A red mist descended over her face quickly replaced by concern.

“Don’t tell me you had another hallucination. David, this is bad…really bad.”

“They are NOT hallucinations. It was real. They were all real. I experience other dimension interconnectedness. I’m chosen. And all my experiences you call hallucinations are connected. Common elements are woven between all of them. Grandfather is the unifying thread. He either shows up or is referenced in the experience.”

“In my professional opinion, one of two things are going on. Either you have cancer and your brain is feeding upon itself or you have dementia, maybe even schizophrenia.”

“Schizophrenia?”

“Yes. There’s no mental illness in your family history so it is more likely early-stage cancer. Hopefully, early enough to be caught and eradicated. When we get back I am going to make the Doctor’s appointment.”

“A shrink or a cancer doctor?”

“Both! We are going to get to the bottom of this insanity.”

“Insanity? Nice joke.”

“I’m not being funny. I am worried.”

“Ok. Ok. We will set up appointments. Shrink first so I can prove to you I’m not crazy.”

“Thank you. Now, let’s walk over to that outcropping. It is picturesque. Then we can drive to the dunes. I can’t wait to climb the great sand dunes. You know how much I love sand dunes.”

    Tree is We But We are Not Tree The long, leisurely drive from Garden of the Gods to the Comfort Inn in Alamosa where we will hole up during our visit to the Great Sand Dunes National Park takes us by the Florissant Fossil Beds National Monument.

[youdecode]

How to Manifest True Love? Manifest soulmate [law of attraction for love]

Ah love! Manifesting love.

Am actually excited to write this because the process is way too simple!

(I will shed light on my current personal practice in the end)

This guide for manifesting your soulmate is not a filler.

But if you want proven help from an expert then here you go. 

Know that it is an instruction manual thus treat it that way.

It is a simple step by step process which requires no theories . . . Manifesting a soulmate!

Before diving straight into the steps, I would stress the word soul mate here.

Quite a big term right?

Who exactly is a soul mate.

Someone who your soul recognizes.

Someone who your soul resonates with and that too for a lifetime.

People fail to manifest a soulmate because of infatuation . . . and wrong choices.

You might say that Eisha Love sees no right and wrong.

It is just blind.

Interestingly, it is so easy to say that love is blind while it is not.

Yes, one might get blinded by logical and interruption of the conscious mind which often gets misunderstood as the signal of the heart.

The biggest challenge in making the right choice and manifesting your real soulmate lies in the distinction between the voice of heart and voice of mind.

We will dig further down into this.

For now just remember that if you have had any relation in the past and now it kind of has vanished then :

One was not your soul mate.

True love only exists between the soul mates.

Your mind may interrupt here and say . . . but you loved the person once :

Again who knows it was the voice of your mind rather than of your heart?!

I am not saying that one must not listen to the mind, rather I am saying know the distinction (when to listen to what!)

This is an action plan. So treat it as one.

If you will follow it . . . you will magically attract a person. 

Asking about the time frame?

Depends on the strength and clarity of your law of attraction practices.

(Don’t crease your forehead girl, I have your back with the best practices).

If you have already have a specific person in mind then skip step 1. 

Let’s dig straight in for some juicy stuff.

 Also Here Are Some Related Massively-Transformative Resources You Will Ever Need.

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4 incredible powerful steps to manifest desires & goals 

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Step 1: Clearly list down the qualities you desire

This step deals with your mind and your heart has like no role in here.

You have to make a choice in this step about the qualities you desire in your soul mate.

Making choices, means again it has to be the conscious decision where you will want to look back on your qualities, past, memories, wishes, and dreams for deciding the type of person you want to attract.

This step is extremely important thus you will have to be cautious.

I have been stressing on several Blogpost regarding why people fail to manifest their dreams . . .

The number one reason is the lack of clarity.

You want just everything or sometimes you are confused yourself.

In either of the states, you will never attract a dream, in this case, the soul mate, because you have no clarity of how your soulmate has to be, with whom your soul will resonate.

So what is the drill?

Keep a separate journal for it please (Take this seriously as after all it about your life)

Make a web.

Write soul mate in the center and then branch out the important qualities you desire

Be as specific as possible

Every person desires some attributes to be present in a specific person

Never write any half heart desire else law of attraction would not work

Be concrete and list all of them clearly.

Start with personality traits like honesty, LOYALTY, integrity

List a minimum of 10 traits and maximum of 20 (not more than that)

List the habits you would love in your soul mate

List the habits you will absolutely not approve of (like smoking for suppose if you are allergic)

List the physical traits you want your ideal man to have (some people wish to skip this but it is totally a preference)

If you remain honest with yourself in this process then half of your work is done. Yes, half of it.

How?

You are clear Law of attraction thus has got your back. 

Step 2: Create an intention statement

Now everything in the law of attraction is a clear intention.

That is why we exercised above and narrowed down the specifics for manifesting a soulmate.

What is the intention?

A concrete desire. It is not a wish . . .

it is not a dream.

A desire is much stronger and something that you truly want to attract.

That list was vital for creating an intention statement . . .

Flip the page of the journal and write:

MY INTENTION IS TO ATTRACT AN HONEST, LOVING, AND AFFECTIONATE SOULMATE WHO IS COMMITTED TO MAINTAINING A HEALTHY, LIFE-LONG RELATIONSHIP WITH ME.

Or

MY INTENTION IS TO FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH A GENTLE AND ROMANTIC MAN WHO IS MARRIAGE-MINDED AND FAMILY ORIENTED.

The intentional statement became easy to develop because you had the list with you.

Now how to craft a perfect statement. This is how:

Add the most important qualities

Make the intentional statement easier to recall because ultimately you want to use it as an affirmation.

Make it short as you will have to repeat the intentional statement so that it could sink into your subconscious mind.

Focus on it at different times of the day (Just think about it and smile: Nothing fancy!)

Double-check that your intention statement is the direct reflection of your desire

Feel free to take a few days to develop a clear intention statement

Bonus tip: Include power words that could stimulate a positive and joyous feel in you.

Apart from scripting into your journal, write it down on a flashcard so it is convenient to carry & then memorize

The intentional statement is not any magical spell or abra ca dabra . . .! it is not a mantra but simply a tool for realigning your focus.

Wrapping this point:

When you will constantly “think” about the “desire” you have created, you will be sinking the thoughts into your subconscious mind.

Where all your intentions will turn into faith and belief.

Focusing on the card/ reviewing your manifesting journal/ repeating the statement once in a week simply would not cut it!

Repetition is the key my friend so make it a habit.

Please Pin It For Later Reference Fam!

 Step 3: Visualization for manifesting love

Now that we are done with the basics, it is time to put other half tasks in action.

Here comes the heart now as now there is a heavy play on feelings.

We are all visual animals.

How many of us are guilty of just knowing the faces of old friends while their names are long forgotten?

Okay I’m raising my hand. So we have established that we own powerful visuals.

So, why not use it for our benefit as a biggest tool for manifesting quickly?

Great idea!

And proven one.

Bear in mind that human imagination is extremely powerful thus let’s work on the visualization scripts. (we have worked above on the written scripts).

We have not talked about feelings much!

But now is the time to bring this puzzle into the game.

Law of attraction is incomplete without a feeling . . . usually it is accompanied with the desire.

A strong desire will naturally bring the feelings into play. . . when you are repeating the intentional statements but that is not enough.

You have to bring the feeling in every step. So that you emotionally connect.

A desire without any emotional connection will make it hard for you to manifest love.

You will see several people commenting that they just don’t feel like what it is to be in love . . . how it feels like being rich . . .

it’s hard to imagine.

For all such comments I just have a single answer :

JUST FEEL HAPPY

Yes, feel the happiness after all that is the ultimate pleasure you are after.

Why do you think you want to manifest love, yours soulmate?

The root is always for happiness.

So why not reverse the process?

DO NOT wait for the person to enter your life and then get happy rather start from the bottom up approach.

Feel it first.

Imagine happiness in your visualization.

By getting happy you will feel a stronger connection with your desire.

And that is when beautiful things will sweep into your life.

The first rule of visualization is thus feeling happy and then imagining it.

What to imagine and how to bring your creative neurons into play?

Go for a warm-up. Here is how:

Think about the instances when you felt happy. The incidents you enjoyed in the part

Some ideas include: recalling having a perfect meal with someone you have loved.

Imagining a friend’s wedding, imagining observing a serene ocean.

Now warm up by recalling moments that are related to the emotion of love

How did your school crush make you feel? Did you ever find your heart racing or stomach hosting butterflies?

These short yet powerful warm-up exercises will awaken your senses and prepare you for the actual visualization.

You need to awaken the sense and emotions for visualization thus warming up and reeling up the memories was vital.

Now visualization exercises will be easier to do & yes more fun.

Visualizing a Perfect Date

Now visualize your perfect date. Search your feelings and construct the scenario. Here is how to get started:

In order to save yourself from getting overwhelmed, you should ideally start with 5 mins a day and then extend to 15 min later.

Imagine with the same emotions that how the place will look. Will it be somewhere busy or somewhere away from the noisy city? You should imagine the scene.

Which dress will you wear?

How will the ideal drive go?

The song you will listen to?

The things you will talk about in the car?

The things you will talk till the dinner gets served?

Recall any of the childhood incidents that you will definitely share and the smile. Think about the memories you will bring ?

Now you can add an additional layer of reality by imagining what will happen the next week or day. Will you have other movie plans? Yes, get wild with your imagination because it is your story and you are the creator of it.

Remember the story you are creating in your head will definitely translate into your reality because the have got the basic ingredients of law of attraction right: Intention , feeling & belief

Step 4 : Put all the steps together for manifesting a soul mate

 1- Now when the morning shines bright at you, mindfully repeat your Intention

Statement with the emotions , simply with happiness.

Know that it is an affirmation thus you need to at least repeat a dozen times throughout the day whenever convenient.

Can be during dressing up or during drive . . . or at college/work (just do not be very loud!)

2- Perform the Emotional Visualization at least twice per day.

The ideal time is before bed and immediately after waking up as during these times the theta state of mind is most active.

The state is the state of the subconscious mind.

It is vital for the visualization to sink into the subconscious mind as that is where all the belief/faith is (one of the key components of the law of attraction).

Do not fret about how to make your visualization sink into the mind . . . with repetition and by these timings you are naturally making the process happen.

Remember your subconscious mind cannot differentiate between reality and imagination . . . to it your imagination is also real thus it forms a faith of manifesting soulmate.

3. Include some of the affirmations from here. Choose the ones which resonate with you.

4. Stay persistent. No one can tell when you will manifest your soulmate. . . it can be in 7 minutes. . . 7 days . . .or 7 months. The law of attraction works with the principal of energy. By constantly giving out love energy to the universe, you are forcing it to return the same energy back and that happens quickly! (your efforts decide the time remember that)

Before you Goo . . . 

It will be unfair to end this blogpost without sharing where I am manifesting a soul mate.

Well, I have a clear web in my journal. I am exactly aware of the type of person I want . . . my visualization is spot on . . .

The only thing which I intentionally delay is the time.

I do not practice affirmations several times a day or even the intentional statement because I am not yet ready.

I have dealt with a loss of the love of my life, my dad . . .

So cherishing only his memories for now.

So a word of caution: practice when you are ready!

You can attract the person even tomorrow . . . and then do not be like oh what have i done!

This was just the basic guide to get you started.

If you liked it and absolutely feel the need of a loving soul mate then check this program out.

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