#that or iii totally got at ii for a night lmao

[excelsior9173]

(source)

[jeonstellate]

selene’s concerto — movement ii

when the sun shone over the horizon, you met someone who swept you off your feet. literally.

◎༄ jeon wonwoo x gender neutral!reader

◎༄ time travel!au, royal!au, moon lovers: scarlet heart ryeo-inspired!au

◎༄ bulleted list format — 1.7K words

masterlist | s. concerto masterlist | movement iii

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

strangely enough, you started having weird dreams after that particular afternoon tea where you learned abt the seventh prince’s engagement

in those dreams, you are back in the modern world — your modern world

in those dreams, you are back where you last were;

back at the busy street, surrounded by multistory buildings with steel frames, and by people in modern clothing who looked really comfortable (at first glance, at least)

you could’ve sworn you could hear the high level of noise pollution in the air too

you’re not really sure why you started to dream about your past (present?) all of a sudden, honestly

like . . . are you missing your old life?

but, if that’s the case, how come you’re dreaming about it when you’ve fully adjusted to your new life already?

and never when you were still new in this era and was incredibly homesick?

or is your brain trying to make you miss your old life?

as if it’s trying to contradict the contentment you felt soon after giving up on trying to go back?

like it doesn’t want you feel such?

but then— why???

best of all, why in the world does an unfamiliar face — unfamiliar man, more like — keeps on popping up in your dreams???

honestly, you just keep on dreaming about the same scene

so you essentially just keep on dreaming about him

every night that you dream, you’re always crossing a crosswalk

every night that you dream, you always notice a specific stranger that happens to cross from the other side and is walking towards you

every night that you dream, you’re always locking eyes with a handsome stranger in specs and professional attire

tmi, but he looks really good with the sleeves of his button-up rolled up to his elbows oml

but every night that you dream, your dream always fades away before he gets too close to you

no matter how hard you try to continue your dream to see what happens next, nothing happens

there’s no continuation

not even a different, totally unrelated dream to keep you entertained as you sleep

so you’re technically just stuck in a loop

and every time you wake up, you’re left wondering who he could be

and why he’s bothering you in your dreams

you would’ve spend your waking life thinking about him, too

but thankfully, the princes are great sources of distraction

most especially your partner in crime fifth prince seunghoon, who still tags you along to cause mischief

much to the crown prince’s exasperation and concealed amusement

besides the dreams, nothing has changed in your new life ngl

you still hangout with seventh prince jungkook once in a while

esp to give him tips abt marriage life as though you’ve been married before lmao

you still eat dinner with crown prince joongi, your cousin, and prince seunghoon at least once a month

you still have your tutoring sessions with fourth prince taejoon, although it’s not as frequent as before bc, according to him, “you need much less guidance” now

and no duh — you’ve been living in this era for years now

you’re bound to get used to it, whether you like it or not

you still haven’t breathed a word abt tenth prince seonwoo’s night escapades to anyone else

except now prince seonwoo knows that you and prince seunghoon know about his little secret

all bc y’all decided to stalk him one time just to see if he’s secretly meeting someone as well

and y’all accidentally tripped over one another not-so-subtly, much to prince seonwoo’s surprise

“you lot aren’t very graceful for a royal-born” was all he said before letting you guys tag along for the night

you didn’t dare to correct him that you aren’t royal bc you were already embarrassed enough that you got caught, lol

but anyway . . .

most importantly

you still annoy third prince inyeop whenever you can too

there are just so many great things you can tease him about

it’s wonderful

maybe not for him, but who cares

as a matter of fact, you’re on your way to the jeon household rn

for another afternoon tea sesh

and yea, you guys have started alternating for the lack of a better term causing havoc between the lee and jeon households not too long ago

just to get prince jungkook used to hosting guests since he’ll be married soon

jk, that’s a lie

y’all just happened to drop by one-by-one one day after you found out abt the seventh prince’s upcoming marriage

that sounds kinda sus, doesn’t it?

like y’all definitely planned abt it beforehand

but— *insert zipper lips emoji*

anw the point is y’all have been alternating since then

most of the time, you go to the jeon household with prince joongi, your cousin, prince seunghoon, and the royal lee entourage

but sometimes, you head there alone

esp when the three of them had business in the palace beforehand

truth be told, you can’t be bothered to go to the palace if you don’t have any business there

mostly bc the air there is kinda . . . sus

you always feel like someone’s watching you from a far

like you’re always being monitored in every move

you haven’t figured out if it’s just you that feels like that

or if it just comes with being close to the next owner(s) of the throne

or just from being inside the palace in general

but either way, it feels hella suffocating

thus you avoid going there as much as possible

whatever alternative you can have that will get you far away from the palace,

you’ll pick that in a heartbeat

no matter how inconvenient or unfavorable that may be

like falling into a stream down below because a horse appeared out of nowhere and startled you—

wait wait

say what now

wa tda p ak ???

whe re d id th e ho r se com e f rom—

(un)fortunately, the horse’s rider has extremely quick reflexes and

snatched you up before you completely fell

so now you’re riding the horse that startled you

backwards

and facing its rider

(for those that watched moon lovers: yes, it’s that scene. you’re welcome.)

“who— who are you?!?!” you blurt out in panic

no one can rlly blame you for freaking out, honestly

everything just happened too fast for proper human comprehension

one second you’re walking peacefully, then on the verge of falling the next

but then before you can even process that you are falling, you no longer are bc you’re already riding a horse

like what?????

in fact, you’re so startled that you’re highkey just staring at the rider with your eyes wide

partly bc you can’t look at anything else besides his face since everything around the both of you is passing by in a blur

and also bc you’re . . . positioned . . . in such a way that you can only see his face

(if y’all can’t read between the lines, here’s the literal translation: rider dude is holding you too close to him)

(y’all got that? okay.)

so yeah

you’re staring

unabashedly

first thing that caught your eye was the mask that covers majority of his face

(ngl, i debated a lot whether to give him a mask or not)

(but since i really loved how wang so looked with his mask on, i decided to :D)

not only does it look like a perfect balance between simple and intricate, but it also looks highly fascinating

because he’s literally the first and only person who you’ve seen with a mask on in all the years you’ve lived here

you can’t tell what he’s hiding underneath

but you can definitely say that the mask is concealing his sharp features

from the apple of his cheek, to the tip of nose, all the way to the fierceness of his eyes

which, by the way, are staring right back at you

uh-oh

“put me down!” you shouted in panic after realizing that you’re caught redhanded

(dumbass . . . ofc you’re gonna get caught staring. dude’s literally right in front of you??)

now, honestly, you didn’t think that through at all

bc, somehow, it didn’t cross your mind that he’ll actually let you go

. . . or perhaps you did

just not while the horse is fcking moving

which is exactly what he did

lmao

sure, the horse isn’t running on full speed

it’s more like strolling at 3 mph

like the rider actually had the courtesy to slow down beforehand

but, nevertheless,

it still fcking hurt

to be fair, it’s not like he put you down gently

he literally just dropped you unceremoniously

like you’re a sack or smth

so ofc it hurts

you’re highkey hoping you didn’t break anything when you fell tho

mostly bc you know for sure that medical procedures haven’t advanced far enough to guarantee that you won’t die

rip

essentially, you’re just reduced to screaming “what the fck” on top of your lungs as his figure gets further and further away from you

highkey channeling your modern self and forgetting that swearing like that is not invented yet

hopefully no one recorded that or else you’ve done the only thing you didn’t want

which is change history, even if it’s just the recorded first usage of a curse

at that moment, you decided that you despise him

no, no—

you loathe him

even if the correction hardly matters

bc you won’t ever see him again

. . . hopefully

[muwur]

haikyuu x otome: masterlist |  prologue

» synopsis:  a haikyuu x reader au where you, the player, are bound for university in a metropolis several hours away from home. hope and excitement are replaced with dread as you come to realize that juggling life as a student and a part-time employee takes a toll. from demanding classes to a ruthless manager, life just can’t seem to give you a break. that is, until you meet a certain someone who reminds you how to live and follow your dreams. somehow, when you’re with them, time stands still. maybe things are finally starting to look up. if only you could stay in those moments for just a little longer. 

» disclaimer: i do not own haikyuu or any of the pixels in this post (i simply made collages out of them)

edit: it’s been brought to my attention that another HQ writer may have written something similar to this idea in the past and I was unaware. Though I haven’t seen this particular type of thing written yet, I don’t mean to claim this event idea as my own bc I feel a lot of events that ppl put up may have some overlapping themes n such (tho this idea would def be more specific and be cause for concern of plagiarism) and bc I would never want to steal ideas/not ask other writers first/not credit other writers (that’s not cool fam). If you have any issues with this event, pls bring them up w me, and if you know any other writers who’ve done smth similar, pls share w me their URLs! thank u for ur understanding :) I hope u can still enjoy haikyuu x otome :’)

» how to play:

I. you can refer here for the general rules of my blog. also, for this event (and it’ll say in the descriptions below), i’m only accepting one character per request. also the word count limits i wrote here may change as im getting started on actually writing requests lol

II. essentially a collection of x reader one-shots, drabbles, and smaus in which you are a busy college student whose only break seems to be spending time with friends who actually get you or the 15-minute lunch break during which you get to ignore annoying customers

III. since this is otome-inspired, i have several options you can choose from. these options are essentially types of requests:

» everyday is a new start 

» drabble about how you meet the character of your choice  

» it is not guaranteed y’all are gonna gel (get along) when you first meet,, warning: if the character is usually a bitch, i may write them as one LMAO jkjk but fr

» usually light, fluffy, and/or silly

» hmm tbh,,, idk word count,,, probs anywhere between 700-1k words (i edited this word count after writing my first thing bc HNNN)

» the only characters you can’t request this for is yamaguchi, tsukki n hinata,,, bc you meet them in the prologue AHAHA sry it’s nothing too spaicy since it’s just in the intro

» it’s all in the little things

» one-shots about normal, daily interactions with the character of your choice

» in other words, these include what can go on in a day in the life of y/n and the character of your choice (after they’ve already met). in the city, the possibilities are endless

» give me a word (or several, cuz writing is hard lmao. also legit any word, like ‘orange’ or ‘nostalgia.’ i may choose only one or do a combination from your list :3) as a prompt and ill somehow make something of it lmao

» medium relationship development + exp

» 700-1.5k words

» hmmm what should i get today?

» very short drabble with a character of your choice about various scenarios and thots i have in my head

» a complete surprise, totally random, may have no context

» may be serious, fluff, crack, etc. 

» if u choose this u basically told me ‘surprise me’

» 100-300 words, depends on my mood

» when i see your name pop up on the screen, i can’t help but smile 

» short smau with a character of your choice 

» fluff or crack, ur choice or leave that up to me (if unspecified, ill just flip a coin)

» you can either give me a word(s) as a guide or leave the topic of convo up to me

» 2-4 panels

» you’d be surprised how much can happen in a day 

» BMO has nothing to do with this, i just found a cute pixel of him

» spaicy relationship development, the scenes in which you actually make progress in the game

» one-shot with a character of your choice

» order from the following:

» macaron: when they realize they’ve fallen for you

» banana bread: when you realize you’ve fallen for them

» iced americano: when they feel a tinge of jealousy 

» hot chocolate: when they see you crying  

» matcha latte: when they have a longing to be around you

» cupcake: love confession (may be intentional or accidental)

» major relationship development + exp + sometimes confusion

» 1-2k words

» these will probs take me longer

» all good things must come to an end

»  not as angsty as those bolded words above sound,,, unless you want it to be >:)

» drabble or one-shot with a character of your choice. the final interaction before finishing the game

» you have three options: good end (fluffy, romantic & the like), bad end (angst), or crack end (surprise)

» word count will be super variable, from 300-1.5k words

IV. this forces me to write one-shots, drabbles, anything but hc’s, and also forces me to limit my word count. that said, this will take me a hot minute, y’all. word counts may change too bc i am,,, indecisive n untalented AHAHA

V. search for ‘haikyuu x otome,’ ‘haikyuu x otome special,’ ‘haikyuu x reader otome’ tags! i will tag each work under these c:

got it? have a request for me? send me an ask or submission! 

request example: ‘start new game with akaashi’ or ‘love challenge with yachi in the empty lecture hall at night’ or ‘continue story with noya. words: tired, mangoes, music’ 

feel free to ask me if ur confused about anything and have questions! thank you so much for reading <3 im excited for this heh

inspired by recent haikyuu otome teasers i keep seeing online and the fact that i dropped my summer class and am taking on personal projects (like painting my room LMAO i gotta manifest my inner buff daddee ushi to move shit in my room bc i kid u not everything is rlly heavy in here. and i also delved back into otomes on my phone,, does anyone else play midnight cinderella or mr love LOL talk 2 me)

haikyuu x otome masterlist

[angeltrapz]

sorry if this has already been asked but do u have a fave saw character besides Adam and Lawrence?

I do actually!! I have a Lot but I know I. hardly talk abt others most of th time dkjfnakj (outside of Chainshipping Adam and Lawrence are genuinely some of my fave characters individually)

a big fave for me is Amanda! I relate to her in a lot of ways and also she just makes me so so sad,, I rlly wish she'd realized sooner than III that John didn't actually care abt her & was just using her to further his agenda. she has so much potential and I believe she deserved to have her character explored more + also I just want her to be happy wtf!!! I've spoken abt this w my bestie Adam but like imagine if she (and Hoffman & Lawrence) was the one to take John Kramer out. like they have had Enough and just fucking get his ass. I simply think it's what she deserves <33 and also like smth else I think abt a lot too is the fact that even though she got clean after going thru the RBT/becoming an apprentice, she ended up self-harming (we don’t know if she’d been doing that Prior to her test) and in reality that is just trading one harmful addiction for another and I hate that John used that loyalty to allow that. he ENCOURAGED her to do that bc it meant that she’d rely on him for guidance, bc it’d keep her dependant on him and thus would ensure that he’d always have her assistance. I hate that man so much Mandy deserved better!!!

I have also been fond of Strahm since I first saw him in IV lmao. part of that is he is Tall and Pretty and I am Gay but also bc? his character ALSO deserved to have been explored more!! he's also someone who had so so much potential and I wish his narrative had been more like. fulfilling? if tht makes sense. I'm particularly fond of the idea (which is actually mostly canon) that after what happens to Perez, he ends up acting as a sort of vigilante Jigsaw hunter. IDK I just adore that idea (also I wanted him to at least know Perez was okay b4 he died. I have no idea if he did but it breaks my heart to think he died not knowing she was alive, even if she was killed off in V - which by the way was ANOTHER shitty decision).

GIBSON!! I love him he's such a fucking dork. that scene where he's like "it's a safe house, Jill. safe. house." and IMMEDIATELY AFTER palmer comes in like "hoffman knows where we are" is SO fucking funny, esp the look on his face. I can't help it I'm sure that scene wasn't supposed to be funny but it was. but anyway! I think part of why I'm drawn to him is bc he has a very strong moral compass (like Strahm, though perhaps in a different way) and I do genuinely think he wants to help ppl and keep them safe, and I think he's also willing to bend the rules if it'll help ppl. I know he's in one movie and he Dies In It but IDK... funny little guy. I care him.

I've spoken abt it a little bit but I've adored Laura since I first watched II. it just kinda struck me how she's so kind and she's so scared and she didn't deserve to die the way she did. she didn't even deserve to be in the HOUSE (along w pretty much everyone in that trap,, I have conflicting feelings abt Xavier though) and the fact that she was literally abducted from her own car in the middle of the night. I don't know she just strikes me as someone who has such a big heart and wants to be able to trust ppl and then she gets forced into hell. Laura baby you deserved better and I wish you'd survived <//3

Both Daniel Matthews and Daniel Rigg!! I genuinely love Rigg so much and it pisses me off beyond belief that his flaw according to Jigsaw was... caring abt ppl?? like yes I do agree tht Rigg was absolutely overworking himself + needed to give himself a break and that his focus on the case was unhealthy but Eric was a close friend of his and like... he felt guilty that he let Eric leave. he just wanted to find his friend. I totally understand why he went through the door, knowing that Eric was on the other side even if he didn't know what'd happen when he did go through. he breaks my heart dude!! he deserved better too.

and Daniel!!! Daniel is such a sweetheart, esp the way he interacts with everyone, the way he covers up Gus's head to allow him some dignity, the way he keeps close to Laura once he notices her getting weaker and tries to encourage her to keep going,, he's just this sweet kid who's acting out due to problems at home when at his core, he just wishes his family wasn't so splintered. I'm also heartbroken abt the fact that like. he saw most of his fellow captives die and then Had To Kill One Himself. and then when he gets out? one of the only ppl he trusted turned out to have been responsible for putting him there AND his dad is missing after doing everything in his power to make sure Daniel was gnna be okay. he makes me so fucking sad dude.

so I'm gnna gather these next ones together but Eric, Mallick, Art, and William (Easton). I've spoken abt Eric and William here a little bit b4 and I do want to clarify tht I do not condone/excuse their actions bc I have gotten. shitty asks in th past abt them frm ppl who seem to think I just excuse their actions bc I like them?? which is So not the case lmao

but! moving on. as I'm a lot more nervous to talk abt him than I used to be, I haven't discussed Eric for a while but rest assured I am thinking abt him always. again my bestie adam creates SO much good content for him and is like one of th only ppl I feel comfortable talking abt him with so like! a lot of my thoughts center around the AU where Eric survives the ice block trap and learns to cope w his life after. the reason I included these four together is bc they're very intertwined in the SAW polycule (which was also created by Adam <33)! it also like... breaks my heart to think tht like. Eric spends the entirety of SAW II thinking his child is in immediate danger and he can't do anything to help him. his entire motive is finding his son. has he been kind of a shitty father so far? yes, honestly. but no one cld ever say he doesn't love Daniel. it also destroys me to think abt how in canon, Eric probably didn't even know Daniel was okay!!! like that level of horror is too much for me man!!

Mallick is honestly so. I don't even know how to explain it. I relate to him a lot as well bc we have very similar tics + th way we experience things? like he spends so much time trying to make himself smaller, even if he's brash and somewhat abrasive in the way he talks to the rest of the Fatal Five. he'd known Brit for all of an hour maybe and was willing to sacrifice himself for her if it meant she'd get out. he harbours so much guilt abt the fire he set and what it did to innocent ppl, which was not his intention but a result of his (and Brit’s) actions nonetheless. I rlly do think he'd been torturing himself internally abt tht + thus sees the fact he'd ended up in a Jigsaw game ("I knew this was going to happen to me") as a sort of karmic punishment, due retribution he didn't receive as he was never arrested in connection to the fire. I don't know there's so much abt Mallick that makes me sad and honestly I just want him to be happy too. if you want fantastic Mallick meta (and amazing meta in general) then I have to suggest @ericmatthewz + his meta takes (who has so far been mentioned in this post as my bestie Adam kjfhakj ily <33)

Art!!! I am so fond of him. was he an apprentice? was he an unlucky bastard who happened to have been tested twice (which is interesting, considering Eric is the only other person that’s happened to)? we don’t know! and that’s the interesting part. if he WAS an apprentice, I like to think tht he wasn’t an active participant in John’s nonsense - his job was to set up Rigg’s tests and keep watch over Eric + Hoffman and nothing more. I definitely don’t think he agreed w what John was doing, and I also think he had a lot of like. compassion for Eric. ‘cause he didn’t have to stabilize him after he tried to jump off the ice, he didn’t have to interact w him at ALL, but he did those things anyway. he saved him anyway. that stuck w me for some reason. if he WASN’T an apprentice, I rlly do think it’s just another show of John’s hypocrisy (”It can’t be personal” okay old man so what the fuck is w Lawrence and Art and William and even Amanda as a patient at Jill’s clinic?? huh??) and an exercise of power. Art was doing his fucking job. Are Rex and Ivan terrible ppl? absolutely and I don’t feel bad for them whatsoever! but the nature of Art’s occupation is tht sometimes, you don’t get to choose. sometimes you have to play devil’s advocate bc That’s Your Job. I’m not saying all lawyers are innocent here but like... it’s His Job, you know? just. jhfkjsa. same reason I hate how John treated Lawrence.

WILLIAM. okay. I totally get where ppl are coming from when it comes to like... discussions of his job and the problems that lie within rejecting coverage of medical needs, esp bc healthcare is a shitshow in th US and often doesn’t help the ppl that need it most, but. I find John’s treatment of William very... invasive? implanting the key in his side, hooking those explosive bracelets/anklets into his skin, tattooing him permanently under those devices - that’s all incredibly invasive and intentional. like John doesn’t want William to forget how he thinks of him. And the fact that none of his trials were recorded in the sense that Tara & Brett (both of whom I can totally understand why they wouldn’t like William, from their perspectives) or Pamela cld see what he sacrificed for his team. that is also smth I believe was intentional.

we’re shown countless times that William tries to do whatever he can to make sure ppl make it out, but John’s constructions of his tests mean that he just Can’t which! again! is intentional!!!! and that fucks me up!!! I rlly do believe at his core William is a man who believes he’s doing the right thing (even if the system is Incredibly flawed) and what he wanted at the end of the day was to keep ppl alive and safe and the fact tht he cldn’t is smth that weighs heavily on him and I dunno. I just think abt tht a lot. (I am so sorry for this huge paragraph)

last three are Jill, Diana, and Corbett <33 Jill I just think is neat + I often think abt how all she wanted to do was help ppl, how she probably made a genuine connection with Amanda and cared so deeply for her that she still checked up on her when she could, and the fact that her desire to help others inadvertently caused the greatest tragedy she’d ever experienced thus far, though it wasn’t her fault whatsoever. I often think abt how she’d had to grieve alone (”I lost him too”) and how hard that must’ve been - and then John was revealed to be the Jigsaw killer, and I Know that had to have been Such a blow. I care abt Jill and I rlly don’t like th way her story ended. she’s such a strong character and it very much feels like a cop out to have her killed off in the way she was! after everything she’d been thru!! to have someone so caring with such a big heart endure such hardship only to kill her off when she’s on the cusp of like. beginning to heal and maybe put John behind her was a Bad decision tbh. + also this is also a brief opportunity to say that I’ve considered Jill/Kerry b4 and like in an AU where they both survive? badass vigilante gfs who will singlehandedly end Jigsaw if they have to (and who cld team up w Perez & Strahm too :3c).

Diana and Corbett!! my girls!! all I have to say abt them is that I’m very attached to them bc they’re just kids. they are literally not even in double digits when going thru Jigsaw’s bullshit and I Hate that (I hate tht Daniel + Brett were involved just as much!!). I do find it interesting that as a villain, Jigsaw has no qualms abt endangering children when typically that’s a hard limit for most villains, but I fucking hate it at th same time bc again. they are KIDS (goes to show how fucked up John’s doctrine is too djfkasdks). I like to hc them as being close friends both as children and throughout their lives + are good + supportive for one another <33

anyway. ty for asking + I am. SO sorry tht I went off so much dkjhfkadsjk

[petersasteria]

Younger (III) - Haz Osterfield

Pairing: Platonic!Haz x Reader

Back at it again with a theme

Inspired by: Younger by Ruel

HO Masterlist || Younger (I) || Younger (II)

lmao sorry it took so long for the third one... thinking is hard, man

* * * *

"Tryna get in touch with you, I don't know where you've been Have a conversation but you never let me in I've tried, I've tried I've tried with you a thousand times

Maybe I don't have to play the bad guy in the end 'Cause I've been trying hard enough to be a better friend I've tried, I've tried But we're out of time"

Harrison didn't know how to get a hold of you after you told him the news. He tried to call you, text you, message you on every social media account you ever had, everything. He even called your family members, but no one gave him a straight answer as to where you were. You were his best friend.

Harrison has done that for years. He never stopped trying to contact you. Tom told him that it was time to give up because you wouldn't answer again. Harrison begged to differ. Unlike Tom, he had hope. He had hope that one day you would answer his calls and texts.

Harrison still remembered the last time he saw you. You were wearing a vintage dress and your hair was neatly tied. You looked nervous. Now that he looked back, he now understood as to why you looked nervous.

After all, how can you tell your best friend that they're the father of your baby?

"Haz, I have something to tell you." You nervously said as soon as you sat down on Harrison's couch. He looked at you and nodded, "What is it?"

You stared at him and took a deep breath. You had a million things running through your mind, but you knew three things: tell Harrison that he's the child of your baby, cut contact with everyone except your family, and start fresh in Italy. But as you were looking at him, you began to realize that you were going to miss him.

"Y/N? Y/N, hey. You're spacing out." Harrison said, snapping you out of your daze.

"Right, sorry." You chuckled nervously.

He smiled, "It's alright. What were you going to tell me?"

"Um... remember our thing?" You asked shyly. "You know... our agreement thing?"

"You mean, us being friends with benefits? Yeah, of course I remember. How could I forget?" He asked with a teasing smile. "What about it? Did you catch feelings? We could stop it now if you want."

"That's not-"

"Oh, are you wanting to see someone? Then, by all means, we can totally stop-"

"I'm pregnant, Haz!"

Harrison stopped talking as he stared at you.

"I'm pregnant and it's yours. Definitely yours." You sighed. "I know that we had an agreement that we'd just be friends and nothing more because you're not the relationship type. I'm not asking you for anything, but I just thought you should know."

Harrison wanted to say something, anything. But nothing came out of his mouth. He just wanted to know what was going through your mind the whole time. He's afraid he might say something he'd regret later on.

He did regret it because after that, he never saw you again. Harrison became really sad after that. He didn't know who he was anymore. He wanted to tell you a lot of things. He especially wanted to tell you all the things he didn't say. Harrison became really depressed. He wanted to meet his child and tell you some things

Tom didn't like how Harrison turned out to be. Using his connections, Tom was able to get a hold of you. Turns out, you changed your number and you moved to Italy. Tom was angry at you because you just left and he knew he had to call you.

"Hello?" You answered.

"Y/N." Tom said sternly. "Remember me?"

"Tom Holland?" You smiled through the phone. "Is it really you, Tom? Oh my god. I missed you so much!"

"Cut the bullshit." Tom hissed. "Harrison's really sad because of you! You owe him an explanation. You told him you were pregnant and you just left. You didn't even give him a chance to say anything. How dare you."

You sighed. He was right. But you had reasons. "What do you want me to do, Tom?"

"Call him. Meet up with him. I don't care. Do anything." Tom said sternly.

"Fine. I'll fly back to London." You said before you hung up.

A week later, you and your son flew back to London and you met up with Tom. Harrison wasn't with him because he was resting at home. Tom said you'd understand when you see Harrison. You three arrived at Tom and Harrison's shared home and Tom informed you that Harrison was in his room. Memories came back and you missed it. The home gave you a nostalgic feeling and you loved it.

You knock on Harrison's room and entered when you heard Harrison's faint voice tell you to enter. He was surprised to see you. He thought it was just his imagination. Tom came in with medicine and flashed Harrison a smile. "Surprise, Haz." Tom said as he put the medicine on Harrison's night stand before helping him sit up.

You frowned at the sight of the man who you once called your best friend. Harrison looked at you with a sheepish smile and said, "New year, new me." He joked, but you didn't find it funny.

Tom looked at your sad expression and said, "Haz is sick. He, uh, he was diagnosed with cancer."

"Funny, because that's my zodiac sign." Harrison joked once more.

"It's not funny, Haz." You said. He nodded and said, "Yeah, but I don't want to spend my remaining days being serious. I want to be remembered as the funny guy when I meet my sudden death."

"Haz, don't say that." Tom said sharply. "Don't you dare fucking say that. You'll get better, alright?? You'll fight this thing and you'll be back to your old self! You'll be good as new!"

Tom was trying so hard to be cheerful and positive, but he could no longer stop the tears from streaming down his precious face. He had been strong for everyone and he was only breaking down now. It was all too much.

"You're my best mate in the whole world and I don't want you leaving anytime soon, okay? You'll go back to acting and modeling. I'm sure Joshua has some new suits for you to wear." Tom smiled through his tears. Harrison was hurt seeing his best friend like that and you were hurt seeing the scene in front of you.

"We're going to share the big screen together, yeah? That's our goal and we haven't done that yet. You need to get better so we can start shooting." Tom sniffed and wiped his tears. He looked at you and nodded.

You took a deep breath and sat on the bed across from Harrison. The sleeping toddler in your arms wasn't awake yet and the two boys looked at your son. From where they were sitting, they could already see the child's blonde hair which he inherited from Harrison.

"It's a boy." You said softly. Harrison nodded, "You can lay him down next to me. My sickness isn't contagious or anything."

You laid your son next to Harrison and he and Tom got a good look at the toddler. He was the spitting image of Harrison. Tom smiled and whispered, "We have a mini Harrison in our midst. I bet he'll be a heartbreaker too."

You and Harrison chuckled lightly. "In all seriousness, he's beautiful." Tom gushed.

The toddler stirred in his sleep and fully woke up. He yawned and stretched before slowly sitting up. His eyes widened when he saw Tom and Harrison.

"Harvey, this is your uncle Tom and... your daddy Harrison." You introduced even though he wouldn't understand it yet.

Harvey smiled shyly at the two men before snuggling closer to you. You giggled and looked at Tom, "Can you watch him for a bit?"

Tom quickly nodded and stood up. You whispered something in Harvey's ear and his face lit up. He got out of your grasp and raised his arms up in front of Tom, a sign that he wants to be picked up and carried.

"Pie man." Harvey muttered to Tom. Tom looked at you and you translated, "He meant Spider-Man."

Tom grinned and he said, "Let's go and check out my Spider-Man stuff then!" He walked out of the room with Harvey in his arms and closed the door, leaving you and Harrison.

"I tried reaching out. I tried for three years. I just stopped recently because, well, I'm sick." Harrison started. "I did everything and your family seemed to be ignoring me. I wanted to be there for you, Y/N. Until now, I still want to be there for you. Look, I'm sorry if I just love you in a platonic way, but that doesn't change the fact that I would love to be in that kid's life. I think I deserve that."

You nodded, "I know and I'm sorry too. I told myself that after I tell you, I'd cut off all contact and I'd move to Italy."

"So, you did?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Tom hated you so much." Harrison chortled. "He hated you for not trying like how I'm trying. He hated you for just leaving me hanging. He made me realize that enough was enough."

"Yes, I got you pregnant because of some agreement. Yes, it makes me look like a twat. To top it all off, you left and cut off contact and it made me look like the bad guy. People would think that I pushed you away or something, but I didn't." Harrison ranted.

"Then I realized that maybe- maybe I don't have to be the bad guy. I did everything and I did my best to contact you and to still be a good friend." He added.

"I'm here now." You said softly.

"You're here for now." Harrison corrected. "You have a life in Italy. You're only here for me because Tom probably said so and now that you're seeing me as this sick person, you're only here because I'm running out of time."

"Don't say that." You said.

"You sound just like Tom." Harrison retorted.

"Because don't, alright?" You sighed in frustration. "Look, now that I know your intentions, I want you to be in Harvey's life. I want you to catch up on everything that you missed and you need to be alive to do that. I want you alive; we want you alive. We can't lose you."

"I know you're a fighter, Harrison. Fight this cancer." You said. "I want you to see Harvey grow up."

"I want that too." He admitted. "Wouldn't that be something?"

You nodded and smiled, "Yeah."

A year and a half later, Harrison was better than ever. He was still taking it easy, though. He didn't want to risk going through the whole cancer thing again. You moved back to London, leaving your Italian life behind.

Although you and Harrison never got together, he was still there for you and Harvey. You ended up dating Tom and Harrison was surprisingly okay with it.

"I'd rather have you date Tom than any other bloke who clearly isn't good enough for you." Harrison said, completely going in best friend mode.

"So you think I'm good enough for her?" Tom asked.

Harrison looked at him and shrugged, "Ehh, you're alright."

"You're such a div." Tom shook his head.

"No, you." Harrison smiled as he played with Harvey.

Your little family was a bit complicated. Nevertheless, you wouldn't exchange it for anything else in the world.

* * * *

i didn't want to give y'all a depressing ending lmao

big thanks to @dudethisvoid for the fucking idea sksks 

𝐇𝐀𝐙 𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland​ @silencetheslaves​ @imeanlifesabitshit​ @joyleenl​ @marshxx​​ @hjoficrecs​​ @blueleatherbag​ @poguesholland​  @harryismysunflower​​ @justanothermarvelmaniac​ @lonikje​ @lizzyosterfield @itstaskeen​ @ilarbu​ @turtoix​ @badreputationlove​ @starlight-starks​ @swiftmind​ @sovereignparker​ @pearce14​

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @petersholland​​ @osterfieldnholland​ @miraclesoflove​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​​ @perspectiveparker​​ @hollands-weasley​​ @itstaskeen​ @call-me-baby-gir1​ @the-panwitch @iamaunicorn4704 @chloecreatesfictions​ @holland-styles​ @halfblood-princess-505​ @spidey-reids-2003​ @herbatkazmiloscia @whatthefuckimbisexual

[myherogroundzero]

happier (dabi x reader)

A/N: this is like OOC but for a reason! it’s like, he wouldnt be OOC with other characters but you grew up with him so it was different, dont question it. i worksd really hard on this and im proud of it. i hope you all enjoy and YES i am all for that Touya/Dabi theory. it makes perfect sense (edit: i literally forgot to mention that i totally changed his backstory LMAO but i felt like this fit my story better sorry 🥺)

word count: 1.8k

warnings: i mean, heated kissing? angst, parental abuse (verbal, but not really mentioned)

•••••

I.

you held onto his hands, dancing around the playground while your parents fought and his mom just watched. that’s what the two of you did every time your parents argued the way they did. he helped you escape from the hatred you listened to everyday so you could feel that glimmer of hope that they always tried to take from you.

“feeling better, y/n?” his voice was kind and soft and his smile made your fears disappear.

“yes, Touya, thank you.”

you grinned at him before you stopped moving and gave him the biggest hug you’d ever given. he giggled as he hugged you back. even though the two of you were only four, him wrapping his arms around you made you feel safer. what could go wrong when you were in the arms of your best friend?

“of course. you look better when you’re happier!”

II.

“you’re always at work, you never spend time with us!”

“maybe that’s because i’m trying to earn money to take care of this family!”

a 10 year old should never have to endure this. tears welled up in your red, puffy eyes as you remember the latest fight your parents had. you couldn’t take the screams and abhorrence so you ran. you didn’t know where your feet were taking you until you stood, shaking and sobbing in front of the Todoroki household. you wiped at your eyes before hesitantly knocking on the door. you stared at your feet and played with the hem of your shirt as you waited for the door to open.

when you heard creaking, you looked up immediately. your watery eyes met with the soft grey ones of Touya’s mother, Rei. she bent over to wipe off your tear-stained cheeks, the gentleness of her touch making you melt.

“are they fighting again, love?”

when you opened your mouth to respond, the only thing that came out was the quiet, pained sobs that you’d been holding back. that had been answer enough for her, and she quickly ushered you into the house.

you sat in the kitchen with her, your legs crossed as you sipped the tea that she’d made specially for you. the two of you just talked until you calmed down a little bit. soft footsteps brought you away from your current conversation and to the entrance of the kitchen, where you were met with a tired looking Touya.

“y/n? is everything okay?” he yawned and rubbed his eyes as he spoke, his voice mellow despite his exhaustion. you got up and walked to him, giving him a hug without uttering a word. he, of course, hugged back.

“dance with me, Touya?”

he smiled softly before taking your hands and dancing with you, his mother as your audience. the two of you spun around as though you were the only people in the world. nothing else existed in that moment, just you and Touya and your dancing. a smile had replaced the heart wrenching look on your face. dancing with your best friend made things better, even when life seemed to have been falling apart before your very eyes.

“you know, you should smile more often. you look prettier when you’re happier.”

III.

15 was not your favourite age, to say the least. your parents never stopped arguing and it’d become even harder to deal with. when they spoke to you, it was always short and harsh. they made sure you knew they didn’t want you, and they didn’t want each other either. you sat upstairs in your room holding a pillow over your head to block out the incessant screams from the voices that once soothed you.

you were at your breaking point and you knew that. nothing seemed to make you happy anymore. you kept headphones in your ears turned up at max volume to tune out the fighting every single day. it was the only thing that made you feel anything anymore. the romanticisation of life in songs gave you spurious hope.

you supposed it was easy to idealise life when you were living, but you were only existing. you vividly remembered the day the life had left your eyes, even though you weren’t dead. you were no longer who you once were. you felt like you were overreacting with your emotions. your parents never hit you or anything. sure, they fought nonstop, but you had a roof over your head and food to eat and clothes to wear. what right did you have to be upset with your life?

you sighed quietly before getting your phone out and sending a text to Touya, asking if he’d be willing to come over. he always knew what to do and say when you got like this. your phone buzzed in your hand and you smiled at his speedy reply before reading that he’d be right over.

☆☆☆☆☆

you walked to your window after receiving Touya’s text that he was there. you opened it and smiled down at him.

“there’s a ladder on the side of the house,”

he gave you a thumbs up before going to retrieve the ladder. you giggled softly, turning to go sit on your bed while you awaited his return.

minutes later, you saw disheveled red hair crawling through your window. he looked at you and grinned, going over to sit next to you when he’d made it through. you wrapped your arms around his neck while his were secured around your waist. the warmth of the hug made a funny feeling erupt in your stomach. likewise, Touya’s heart was fluttering at your touch.

“Touya, will you dance with me?”

he stood up, pulling you close to his chest. your arms rested around his neck like they had when you were sitting. the two of you swayed slowly, a comfortable silence taking over as you just enjoyed each other’s presence. you relished the protectiveness of his embrace. he rested his head gently on top of yours, making your heart pound.

he stopped moving abruptly before pulling away slightly to look at your face. his eyes scanned over every perfect imperfection that made up your beautiful appearance. his brows furrowed and he bit his lip, deep in thought. his eyes stared directly into yours, making you squirm. you got nervous under his unwavering gaze, so you shifted your head and looked to the side.

he gently held your chin and moved your head back to its previous position before placing a loving kiss to your lips. you kissed back with more force, the neediness exposing how deprived of love the two of you really were. his grasp on your waist tightened and your hands found their way into his hair, pulling gently. his tongue slid over your lip and you opened your mouth to allow him access. you pressed into him as much as you possibly could, a soft moan escaping your lips.

in that moment, nothing and nobody else mattered. it was only the two of you pouring your hearts out to one another, holding onto each other tightly out of fear that you might never see each other again if you let go.

when you pulled away to breathe, Touya took the second to look you over again. when he looked at you he saw his whole life in your eyes. he fell in love with you when you two were kids, and that love has only grown stronger since then.

“y/n, i want to make you happier.”

IV.

you were now 19 years old and you hadn’t seen Touya in two years. he disappeared when he was 17, leaving you confused and brokenhearted. you’ve felt this emptiness ever since he left, like you were missing one half of your already damaged heart. you missed him. his smile, his laugh. you missed his lips and his hugs but most of all, you missed dancing with him.

you didn’t think you’d ever see him again, but you remained hopeful that maybe your paths would cross once again. at first everyone thought he’d been kidnapped. however, as you thought more and more about it, you had come to the conclusion that maybe he ran away. you knew how his father treated him and his siblings, even Rei. you wouldn’t blame him if running way was his only option, but why didn’t he tell you? or better yet, why didn’t he take you?

you laid on your bed, still trapped within the hate and anger of your parent’s house. all you could do was wonder if things would get better. you wish, above all things, that you could go back to when things were better, when you were happier.

V.

by 21, your parents had kicked you out and with no job or house, you had nowhere to go. so you sat on a bench near the very park you used to play at with Touya. the darkness of the night sky was making you drowsy. your eyes were fluttering closed when the shadow of a tall man blocked the moon from illuminating your figure. your eyes shot open and you looked up, your eyes being met with familiar blue ones on an unfamiliar face. there were stitches and burns all over him, his hair completely black.

he stared at you, not knowing what to do or say. you felt in your heart that you knew him, but you didn’t recognise him.

“Touya?”

his eyes welled up with tears for the first time in a long time.

“y/n.”

you covered your mouth to muffle the sound of your quiet cries before you stood up and hugged him. he hugged back tighter than he ever had before.

“Touya, what happened to you? why did you leave? you didn’t say a thing to me, you just left!”

“i know—“

“you could’ve at least told me!”

“i’m sorry—“

“i felt so lost, Touya, you left me alone.”

“y/n, please. i didn’t mean to hurt you.”

tears spilled like a waterfall, your gasps for air breaking his heart. he really had no intentions of hurting you.

“y/n, i truly am sor—“

you cut him off be smashing your lips against his. he stumbled back slightly before regaining his posture and kissing you back.

“i missed you so much, Touya.”

“i missed you too, love.”

you held onto him like you’d lose him again if you let go. he held you with just as much protectiveness and love. the two of you swayed slightly, the moon shining, illuminating your tear stained cheeks. finally, for the first time in five years, your life didn’t feel like it was slowly crumbling before you. you wouldn’t say you were happy per se. but the two of you dancing in the light of the gleaming moon brought you back to when you were younger.

as crazy as it sounds, you missed who you were back then, when the two of you were dancing through the angry voices of your parents. when you were dancing through the mess you called your lives. he brought you back to those times, though. he brought you back to when you were happier.

[cottonblush]

blooming days | pjs

❧ word count: 3,418

❧ genre: floof

❧ notes: i kinda hate this?? but it’s whatever. i’ll be working on more bulleted list scenarios soon (hopefully lmao). i have my ap stats test tomorrow and i literally feel like i’ll get a 1 even though i got 5s on my practice tests but imma go crazy anyway. also i started bujo-ing my ideas for my fics and i have these cute stickers that remind me of hamtaro!! anyway, i hope everyone has a nice day and is happy and healthy. don’t forget to drink lots of water. i actually started drinking it more often and i feel a lot better!  ty for coming to my ted talk! if anyone has any upcoming exams, good luck! uh also p.s: i probably spelled some stuff wrong but several of my reference sites were saying different things. p.p.s: this is unedited whoops

❧ parts: planting, budding, ---

The bustling sounds of the city slowly fade into background noise as Jisung finds his way back home after work, one foot slowly being placed in front of the other to form a peaceful saunter. He stops when he reaches an intersection not too far away from his street, eyes coming to rest on the soft glow of the neon sign that the neighborhood ramen shop has recently added. The light emanating from the quaint little restaurant is one of the few light sources that dots the street this late on a cold, wintry night as this one.

“It won’t hurt to get some on the way,” the boy mutters to himself, already stepping into the small, warmly lit restaurant, as if he would have needed any convincing in the first place.

He’s greeted by the familiar face of the ahjussi who owns the place. Eyes quickly scanning over the menu, he settles on the newest item that the store has to offer: fire noodles. He tells the older man what he would like, figuring it’ll be just like the processed noodles sold at the store he works at, before he strolls over to his usual seat by the window.

The young man turns around to resume people-watching the many teens and adults getting home at this time as well, releasing a soft sigh, placing his head in his left hand, and drumming his fingers against the soft skin of his face. The sun is setting, the last rays of marmalade tinted light streaming through the window. Jisung takes this time to remind himself that this is the part where Jaemin would tell him to take a selfie and get that “golden hour glow.” He almost does, but at that moment, a bowl of steaming noodles covered in a glistening, ruby colored sauce is placed in front of him.

The owner warily says when he finally comes around with the noodles, “It’s pretty spicy, just so you know.” However, Jisung brushes this off, telling the gentleman that he’s used to spicy food, and digs in, enjoying the familiar tingling feeling on his tongue that fire noodles tend to bring. The wet, pink muscle peaks out of his mouth and lap up any sauce that happens to escape.

After a while, the dull tingling turns into a burning sting all over Jisung’s mouth and salty tears start to well up in his eyes. Before he knows it, Jisung is full-on crying with ears full of the sounds of his own sniffles and doesn’t even notice the old lady that comes up to sit next to him.

The woman looks to be in her upper 60’s and when she gently pats Jisung’s shoulder to provide a sense of comfort, he recognizes her as the owner of the flower shop just next door. She rests her chin in her other hand and lets out a dreamy sigh. “Ah, I remember the feeling of young love,” she says.

This makes the young man turn to her, eyebrows knitted in confusion. He tries to explain, tone flustered and face quickly turning a bright shade of red, “I think you’re misunderstanding the situation. I’m not in-”

“Nonsense,” she replies, “I know just by the look on your face. You were thinking about someone special, weren’t you? And you were looking at those pretty gardenias in that vase. Everyone knows that’s the symbol for a secret love. Have you not told them yet? I think it’s best to just rip off the band-aid and get it over with, in my experience at least.”

Jisung wants to tell the lady that kids don’t just memorize the meanings of flowers, but he thinks that one: that might discourage her seeing as she runs a flower shop and seems to care a lot about it, and two: it’s a little rude. Instead, he puts on a calm façade and reassures her, “There really has been a misunderstanding here. I wasn’t really looking at those flowers on purpose. And I just ate some spicy noodles, so it looked like I was crying.”

The old lady slowly gets up and hums, “Whatever you say,” before going to place her own order. Jisung takes this as his queue to leave and gathers his things. Just before he places a hand on the door, he takes one last glance at the little flowers in the clear vase, wondering if maybe the lady is on to something.

It clearly sticks with him because later that night as he lays in his bed, covers pulled up and lights turned off, Jisung can’t seem to take his mind off the pretty white blossoms. For some reason, your face comes to mind, unknowingly bringing a small smile to his visage. His eyes slowly flutter shut, little memories of you playing against the back of his lids as if he’s in a dark movie theater watching a montage of the two of you.

I.

Halloween is quickly approaching, now less than a week away, and the gang (Jisung, you, Chenle, Haechan, and Renjun) has decided to get some pumpkins from a farm not too far away from town. As soon as you arrive, you and Haechan run ahead of the others, both trying to find the perfect pumpkin.

Jisung, on the other hand, chooses to take his time, leisurely walking alongside Chenle and Renjun as they discuss something about Chinese traditions around this time of the year. The leaves started to fall the week before, so for each step that Jisung takes, he hears a satisfying crunch beneath his shoes. The weather is still fairly pleasant, not yet to the point where you can see your breath in the air.

Sauntering through the gates to the pumpkin patch, the kids are greeted by the sight of rows upon rows of vibrant orange pumpkins, some small and cute, others larger and optimal for carving. Not even a couple of minutes in, everyone hears a high pitched yelp and looks over to find that Chenle has managed to trip on literally nothing but air, ending up face down on the ground and crushing several mini pumpkins beneath him. Renjun can’t help but snicker, leaving Jisung to help the poor, pouting boy back up to his feet.

Jisung is in the middle of helping Chenle wipe pumpkin guts off his shirt (that’s probably worth more than all of his life savings) when he notices you and Haechan bickering out of the corner of his eye.

“Dude, I totally saw it first,” you argue.

Haechan deadpans and says, “Sure, Y/n. And I’m actually Thor from The Avengers.”

You don’t hesitate to scoff at that and say, “More like Loki.”

The two of you are in your own world, not even noticing that Jisung, Renjun, and a now clean Chenle are sitting on the ground and acting like they’re watching the final showdown in an action movie.

Haechan picks up the pumpkin you two are fighting over, one of the largest in the patch that has no blemishes at all, and sets it behind him so that he can guard it. It turns out to be the wrong move because without a moment of hesitation, you launch a roundhouse kick into his side, watching as he flails on his way down to the ground. You quickly grab the prized pumpkin and run toward the owner of the farm.

Your voice is boisterous and full of glee as you call out, “Excuse me, sir. I’d like this one!” The sound of your laugh follows soon after when you see that Haechan is hot on your tail.

It’s cheesy, but as you get farther and farther away, Jisung tries to imprint the sound your laughter into his mind, wanting to save it for whenever he is feeling down.

II.

“Honestly, I don’t know how you get yourself in these situations, Y/n,” Renjun says, mirth lacing his voice as he wraps a bandage around your ankle. You’re slouched on a stool in the nurse’s office, leaning forward so you can observe the blonde-haired boy.

Renjun is the nurse’s assistant, which means that he sees you quite often given how clumsy you are. This time, you’ve managed to twist your ankle simply walking from your class to Jisu’s so you could compare grades on a recent test. Jisung happens to be there when it happens, so he helps you over to the nurse’s office and sits next to you, carefully doting over you until Renjun arrives.

You huff and cross your arms, rebutting, “Give me a break! I’m telling you one of the tiles in the hallway is uneven. I’m not that clumsy that I just trip over the air.”

At this, Renjun coughs into his elbow, muttering, “Yes you are.”

Jisung can’t deny that he feels a little twinge of something as he sees you playfully slap Renjun’s shoulder and give him a hearty laugh. He tries to laugh along, but it turns out to be an awkward chuckle.

Renjun turns to him with lips quirked upward and says, “Dude, you don’t even know how often she comes here. I’m surprised she’s not just a pile of bones at this point.”

Feeling plenty attacked, you say, “That’s it! I’m telling the administration that the literal nurse’s assistant is out here bullying me. And next time, I’ll just suffer on my own instead of coming to you.”

When the aforementioned assistant raises his hand to pinch your cheek and tell you to stop pouting, Jisung is finally able to identify the feeling bubbling up in the pit of his stomach: envy.

 III.

It’s probably well past midnight and Jisung has just fallen asleep. The sound of crickets chirping flows through the tiny opening of the window he forgot to close. His desk lamp is still on and the fan of his laptop is still softly humming. He’s woken up with a startle when the sound of his ringtone (which Chenle had recently set to the original Pokémon theme song in honor of the new movie) blares out, reverbing against the walls of his small bedroom. He’s about to throw his phone out the window when he squints at the screen and notices that it’s you and it’s a facetime video call.

The video is blurry at first, but the sound of your voice as his name falls from your lips in a shaky sigh is surprisingly clear. You aren’t crying, but every now and then, you let out a tiny sniffle. In addition, even with the low resolution of the video call, Jisung can see salty tears pooling up against your eyelids.

“I’m so nervous, Jisung,” you say shakily, “I don’t know what to do.”

Your phone is propped up against your wall or something on your desk, so the teen gets a full view of you as you drop your face in your hands and rub your eyes aggressively.

Jisung urges you to calm down, asking what’s wrong but being careful not to be too pushy. You explain that you feel like you’re going to fail the upcoming history test.

“I’ve tried to study, but everything is just going in one ear and out the other,” you explain.

The young man assures you that you’ll be fine, but when you shake your head and vehemently deny it, he tries a different approach. Giving you a couple of minutes to calm down, he offers to help you review for it.

And so he does. He starts from the beginning, carefully explaining each topic covered in class and making sure you’re paying attention. By the time you’ve covered the entire chapter, you’re resting your chin on your arm and gazing sleepily at your phone screen. After you’ve let out what Jisung thinks is your thousandth yawn, he tells you it’s time to sleep.

He packs away his notes and textbooks and is about to bid you goodnight when he notices that you’ve fallen asleep already. He freezes in his place, eyes not able to move from the way that your eyelashes gently fan against your cheeks and the way that several strands of hair have fallen to cover your face. He notices the heavy, dark eyebags that surround your eyes and the small amount of drool that’s already starting to escape your mouth.

Jisung quickly snaps out of his daze and presses the red button that ends the call, sitting back against his desk chair and closing his eyes. He’s much too tired to move to his bed and is probably bordering on a state of delirium, but he realizes that your face, no matter how sloppy or tired, is a sight he could get lost in any day at any time. And with that revelation, his mind descends into sleep while a soft smile rests on his lips.

 IV.

Jisung is stuffing his face with cheesy tteokbokki when his phone lights up with a several new notifications.

The first one is an email from his teacher, probably a response to a question he asked the day before. The second is a reminder that he has an appointment to get a haircut in a few days. And the most recent is a snapchat notification telling him that you’ve sent him a snap.

He sets down his utensils and picks up his phone, quickly unlocking it and opening the app. Tapping on your name with the red square next to it, he’s greeted with a picture of you with a small white puppy tucked under your chin.

The caption of the picture reads, “Moomin is doing great but he misses you :(”

To add some context, Moomin is a the stray dog that you, Jisung, and Renjun found one day on the way back after school. Of course, since Renjun “found him first,” he argued that he would get to pick a name.

Not even thinking about it, Jisung takes a screenshot of the picture, heart melting just a little bit at the sight of your smiling face pressed up against Moomin. But then the ten second timer expires and he’s greeted with the sight of two blue arrows, one overlapping the other. He drops his phone and covers his face with his hands, fingers split so that he could peep at his phone. He gets a text message from you not a moment later and he thinks he’s about to get exposed. His whole form is shaking with nervousness as he checks your text.

However, Jisung literally wants to bang his head on a wall as he sees that you’ve just sent him a picture of Moomin (this time without your face in the frame) and a message that reads, “If u wanted a pic of moomin so bad you should’ve just asked lol”

Only the gods will ever know how you can be so oblivious at times, but Jisung is glad. Now, he has a cute picture of you and a cute picture of Moomin, and he’s saved himself a ton of embarrassment. He also isn’t complaining because he finds it quite endearing when you’re dense (which happens a lot).

 V.

“Jeno, have I mentioned that you and Hana would look really good together? And she’s super smart just like you!”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, you should totally ask her out or something.”

It’s another regular day, and another occasion on with you are trying to set Jeno up with one of your many friends that are head over heels for the poor boy.

“I’m not really interested in her, though. Sorry, Y/n,” Jeno says awkwardly while scratching the back of his neck.

“You haven’t even given her a chance though,” you say, knowing that you’re beginning to sound childish.

At this moment, Chenle and Jisung run up to the two of you, asking what’s up.

You explain, “Jeno keeps turning down all of the friends I try to set him up with.”

You’re expecting Chenle to at least give you a sympathetic nod or something, but he releases a loud laugh instead.

In between his chuckles, he manages to say, “Are you kidding, Y/n? Jeno and Jaemin have been dating since my Halloween party.”

“What? What the actual heck?! Jeno! How could you not tell me?”

You stomp ahead of the trio, arms folded and head facing the ground. Jisung jogs to catch up with you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder and assuring you that they aren’t even that public with their relationship anyway.

You continue to sulk, asking, “Am I really that oblivious though?”

Recalling many previous experiences in which you were very much oblivious, Jisung decides it’s best not to answer, causing you to pout even more than you already are. And while Jisung thinks it’s a cute expression, he’d much rather see you smile. So he spends the rest of the day trying to cheer you up, spending the rest of his allowance on snacks at the tuck shop.

At the end of the day, his wallet is weeping and he’s never craved the red bean bun that you’re eating more than he does now, but it’s worth it to see that your spirits are lifted.

 VI.

It’s the first snow of the season and the gang is out playing in the park, reveling in the fact that they have no assignments or after school classes for the day. You’re sitting on a swing, sipping some hot chocolate and swaying back and forth. You inhale deeply and let out a sigh, watching as your breath vanishes into the air.

Jaemin runs up to you and asks to try some of your drink, probably thinking it’s some type of coffee. Of course, you comply, holding your steaming steel tumbler out to the young man. He takes one sip and his nose scrunches up.

“What is that? Oh my god,” he says.

“It’s peppermint hot chocolate, Nana. Not everyone can drink coffee 24/7 like you do.”

“Peppermint?! Dude, gross. The only things that go in hot chocolate are whipped cream and cinnamon.”

You shoot Jaemin an incredulous look and ask the rest of the group, “Shut up. Peppermint is superior, right guys?”

The rest of the boys are too busy sliding down the slides or trying to make snowballs out of the thin layer of snow that’s on the ground, so the only response you get is a couple of careless shrugs.

A couple of days later, Jisung is sitting in the convenience store once again and reminiscing about the good old days like any high school student does. He remembers you saying something about peppermint and subconsciously starts perusing the store, briefly recalling that they just got a shipment of Christmas themed air fresheners.

His eyes light up when he finds the peppermint scented ones nestled at the back of the display. He grabs one and takes it to the register, trying to convince himself that he wants to make his room smell nice and not that he’s going to use it to spray on his school uniform.

However, several hours later, he finds himself spraying the canister into his closet, coating all his clothes with the soft scent of peppermint candy.

You take notice of it immediately the next day, telling Jisung that he smells really nice, and his face turns a bright vermillion.

Chenle chortles and elbows his side, saying, “Yeah, Jisung. You smell sooooo good! What is it again? Peppermint? Isn’t that a coincidence?”

Jisung proceeds to shove Chenle against a set of lockers and cover the loud-mouthed boy’s mouth with one of his hands, ignoring the way you raise an eyebrow in question of his behavior.

He’d probably die if he got found out, but he’s glad you like it and will probably continue to use his new “cologne” well into the summer seasons.

As Jisung finally descends into a state of light slumber, a warm feeling spreading across his body. It’s like he’s sitting by a fireplace wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, wearing the fancy slippers that he stole from hotel that Chenle took him to one time. It’s like the sun is shining down on his face on a cloudless day. Every memorable instance of you (which is basically every single one) is coming together, each one like a petal of a delicate flower.

He doesn’t know it yet, but that metaphorical flower will soon be in full bloom, and with it will come a realization that he may or may not be ready for.

[vanllacreme1]

it’s mac again ! i’m bringing over an old-ish oc that i hardly got to play but really loved ( which means that this intro is long bc i have a lot of thoughts about my son ) !! pls welcome my babiest baby boi, TEDDY LEUNG . 

☕ . ˚ ◝ ( lucas wong. cismale. he/him. ) theodore “teddy” leung is a twenty year old aries. the freelancer’s go-to order is vanilla creme frappe with two pumps of raspberry syrup and extra whip cream. they like to listen to ring ding dong by shinee while they wait for their order. the employees of the deja brew think they are meek but swear they’re totally optimistic as well. maybe that’s why a spray paint can, a velcro chain wallet, and earbuds remind me of them.  

PINTEREST

mentions of ptsd. injury. 9/11. deafness. 

i. born and fostered out of love, teddy leung is the son of a first generation chinese american military officer and a thai lounge singer. having met while his father was stationed overseas, his parents fell in love but just before they could get their relationship could fully bloom, teddy’s father was sent back to america. regretfully, teddy’s parents parted ways but even with an ocean between them, the culmination of their short-lived romance grew into a new life.

ii. teddy was a surprise, to everyone involved, and in fear for his love and his child’s life in the hands of her traditionalist parents ( afterall she was young, unwed and pregnant ), teddy’s father sent for her, causing her to have to leave everything she knew behind for a man she knew for only eight months. but they were in love and they both felt as if their situation was the fates telling them to be together.

iii. teddy came into the world kicking and screaming, his little lungs gasping for air as his limbs stretched out of their confines for the first time. an explosive ball of energy that his mother ate up and his father smiled down on protectively. he was their special boy, golden and proof that all their hardships -- the arguments, the alienation of her family, the stress -- was all worth it in the end.

iv. and for the first few years, it was harmonious. all focus was on raising teddy and providing for him, his father training the battalion on fort irwin and his mother working as a music teacher for the kids in the area. then, in the aftermath of 9/11, teddy’s father was deployed for five years on active duty in afghanistan where he served until a hostile bombing left him injured.

v. returning home after all that time away was an adjustment for teddy’s father, having to cope with not only the strain of physical therapy and ptsd, but also with his 7-year-old son whom he hadn’t spent any real time with since the boy was three. but, teddy, with his big, wondering eyes and even bigger, tender heart, tried to connect with his father the way he was close with his mother.

vi. but even then, there was only so much that teddy and his father could see eye to eye on. art and music became a big part of teddy’s life, while sport and the sciences were his father’s interests. it alienated them both from each other, for the short while before teddy’s father accepted a recruitment job in san diego and became busy again.

vii. in san diego, teddy found a little more independence, enrolling in the local public school instead of the school on the army base. and things were fine, again, until they weren’t. by the time teddy was 11, he developed ménière’s in his left ear, causing him to become hard of hearing on top of bouts of vertigo and tinnitus. he fought a lot with his parents then, his angsty teenage bullshit hitting an absolute peak early on when his parents wanted him to get fitted for an aid and he wanted to just let nature take its course ( he still has his one good ear, he’d argue ).

viii. eventually, they came to an agreement, that teddy would go to counselling and learn asl in lieu of getting an aid, and that teddy wouldn’t complain when his family relocated again in the beginning of his freshman year of high school. moving, this time to colorado, drove a deeper wedge between teddy and his father. and as much as he loves the man, they just didn’t seem to click anymore.

ix. so teddy tried to be a good son for him, focused on school and behaved the best he could. it was only after teddy started applying for university, that he felt the spark of excitement again. the possibility of going back to the place he was the longest, to southern california, was all that he cared about. his college years were going to be the time he became more independent from his parents, finally gaining some semblance of his own person beyond what his parents tried to mold him into.

***DISCLAIMER: teddy is written by a hearing person and his condition may be written inaccurately. please know that i am not at all trying to offend anyone who is HoH and that i will do my best to research and be mindful of the portrayal of his hearing loss. that being said, if you are offended by the way i portray his hearing loss in any capacity, please message me privately so we can have a conversation and i can learn from my mistake.

quick fax  

- is an army brat so he moved around a lot growing up ; spent high school years elsewhere, but moved back to cali for university  - is studying accounting bc ,,, idk its stable and he’s never really had stability in his life until now - such a glass half full person but is that one ‘ everything is fine ’ meme  - will try anything once ; whether or not it sticks depends on how much he ends up enjoying it - would also stand up 2 someone but immediately regret it after - is hard of hearing in his left ear ( ménière’s disease ) so he will lean toward the noise to hear better aka im so sorry if he’s in ur bubble, he just cant hear what uR’E SAYING  - he’s ,,, ,v loud w/o realizing it  - bc of his meniere’s he can’t have caffeine ( lol ) but he likes the cafe culture and likes to go to deja brew to sketch - also has earbuds in like 24/7 ; gets nagged by his mom that he SHOULDN’T but like ,,,, he’s accepted that his hearing is gonna get worse anyway so LMAO - doesn’t wear an aid and hasn’t used sign language in a very long time but still remembers a lot of it - teddy vc: what ?  - does the graffiti on the weekends , pls dont tell his mom ; art is his “hobby” as his dad would say , v artistic and likes to go to moca on their free nights  - loves all kinds of music, esp mongolian throat singing ; impressionism is his favorite art movement ; thinks rupi kaur is a charlatan but she’s making money off white people so : / - has a tattoo on his right buttcheek bc why not , someone probably dared him to - naturally wakes up at 6 am, no matter how late he was up the night before ; goes on morning runs  - incidentally, he also takes a lot of naps during the day - is technically (f)unemployed ; answers craigslist ads for cash, nothing shady, just like cleans old ladies homes and helps people move furniture - owns a second hand bicycle with a woven basket in the front uwu ; may or may not have found it at a junk yard - will stop to pet a dog on the side of the street ; will also point out animals when he passes them   - think andy dwyer, john mulaney, jake peralta, miles morales, jason mendoza and others i cant care to look up rn but u get the idea i hope 

possible connections

roommates / housemates, classmates / schoolmates, friends, enemies ( tho he’d probably cry if u told him u didnt like him ), lovers / ex lovers, etc. whatever come yell at me if u want something. find me here or on discord ( 𝖎𝖈𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖒𝖞 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖙, 𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖈#3596 ) 

[wetookanoath]

the Ultimate™  big, fat, long ass shyan fanfic rec list by your local librarian, part II

So, tumblr fucked the format and apparently, it doesn’t allow you to post as many links as one may want. Fuck you, @staff.

Contains: More than 150 fanfictions on AO3 and tumblr. Commentary for each by me, rating, number of chapters and summaries. Divided by Top 25 Favorites, Oneshots, Multichapter, Ongoing, Series and On Tumblr Only.

[Part I] [Part II] [Part III]

Coming Soon: Rec Page.

~ Oneshots, part II

Something a Demon Would Say by EAST (WESTAGE)

Summary: Ryan wants to prove that Shane is a demon, and/or an alien, and Shane just wants to ask Ryan out on a date.

“The jig is up, Shane Madej! I know what you really are!”

Rated: G

Commentary: This fic has one of my favorite endings of all time. It’s fun and funny, and characterization is wonderful. Also, Shane has a not-so-secret crush on Ryan and it’s adorable.

i wanna see the sunrise and your sins by AmazingAida

Summary: ryan goes into heat while filming and shane is, thankfully, there to help.

also ryan and shane come face to face with their true feelings and it’s very confusing.

or, alternatively: in which shane and ryan have sex for one reason that ends up being a completely different implicit reason.

or, alternatively: feelings are confusing just don’t have them.

Rated: E

Commentary: Pure, fluffy PWP, if that’s you think– the only reason I don’t cherish as much this fic is because it is a cheating fanfic. And while they don’t cheat on their real life girlfriends in the fic, Ryan still has a partner and I just... don’t. But other than that, this is very sweeet and hot.

Mausoleum by ghostwheeze

Summary: How about…. Ryan and Shane are stuck in a room for some reason (Maybe the doorknob broke off…?) And Ryan is absolutely terrified. The sexual tension has been high between the two for a while and so Shane decides… fuck it, and does something to distract Ryan ;)

Rated: T

Commentary: This fic has something... something tht makes me love it. It’s so good and hot, even if they are just--- not doing it, and yeeeeet. I ove it.

SLEEPINGWITHAFRIEND by grapefruitghostie

Summary: it’s a risk but, babe, i need the thrillor; the author just wants to cry

Rated: E

Commentary: Alright, this one is kinky. In this story, Shane and Ryan also have a dom/sub relationship, with Shane being Ryan’s dom, and it also has– you guessed it right, daddy kink. I love it.

he is the one named sailor moon by schuyleryette

Summary: Ryan Bergara was just your regular college student trying to deal with classes, an asshole roommate, and one of the most insufferable jerks he had ever met. None of this prepared him for the talking cat who change the course of his destiny…

Rated: T

Commentary: Another big, but nice, surprise in the tag was to find a damn Sailor Moon AU. Look– I grew up watching this anime and this was the first manga I read, and I also probably became a little bit gay because of Michiru (and her wife Haruka), so this AU is everything to me.

That, and the fact that is. so. much. fun. Honestly, give Ryan a break– he had one weird night in this fic. It’s great, you all should read it.

satisfaction brought it back by ElasticElla

Summary: A true crime case turns supernatural, and Ryan gets a little too curious about Shane’s fanfiction references.

Rated: M

Commentary: Listen, Ryan’s curiosity in this fic is everything to me. I felt all the second hand embarrasment in the world while reading him go through smutty fanfics as Shane slept in the same room as him, getting hot at fanfic!Shane saying that “you are mine” and stuff like that. It was amazing.

Danse Macabre by americanchemicals

Summary: On your thirteenth birthday, a mark would appear on your body, a mark that only one other person in the world had. These matching marks, or soulmarks, were a physical connection between two soulmates.

Rated: G

Commentary: THEY GET– AT THE END THEY– DUDE, JUST READ IT. The ending of this, the climax of this fic, had me shook and It made me happy. Lovely fic.

and i’m puffing my chest, getting red in the face by pissedofsandwich

Summary: "Zack’s going to be there?“ Shane asks, masking his… whatever it is he’s feeling in his chest, with nonchalance.

Ryan blinks. “Yes?”

Well, never mind dancing with the fucking sun. He’s Icarus, wings melted and falling face-first into the asphalt.

Or: Shane is definitely not at all jealous of how close Zack and Ryan are getting during the making of Sports Conspiracies. Except that he is.

Rated: T

Commentary: One of my favorite fanfics that also has jealous!Shane and one of the most funniest climax ever. All their co-workers are damn angels, you gotta read this, it’s incredible. Also, kudos to poor Zack having the rage of a jealous Shane Alexander Madej with a cup of coffee in his hands.

Blood Buddies (with benefits) by Squeakyshroom

Summary: Ryan thought they were just friends, but one night and one bite has him questioning everything.

OR: Shane’s a fledgling vampire. Ryan’s an idiot.

Rated: E

Commentary: I’ve read a total of 16 times since it was posted a few weeks ago, lmao. Look– this author? I love her. She is one of the first people I talked to while doing the project, she kinda got me into talking to other authors and that helped me a lot to get through the reading happily.

She has a very unique style and the way she writes their dynamic is something else. This fanfic in particular is a lot of fun, and I hate the fact that I know one and every damn Twilight reference in it.

It also has one of my favorite mental images/scenes in a fanfic ever. If you guess which one is, come tell me about it, lmao.

give me all your poison by ElasticElla

Summary: Shane catches Ryan red-handed. Or well, red-shirted and fuck, this is not the romantic reunion he envisioned when deciding to surprise Ryan.

Rated: E

Commentary: AHHHHH, I LOVE THIS ONE. It inspired a whole series in which both are killers that you should totally read, too: the serial killer ryan quartet. This fic has… a scene I really like. If you get which one, I’ll love you forever. I’m so glad I read and commented this fic, because my comment helped inspire the rest of it.

distorted truths by hwsinbs

Summary: All of Shane’s entourage is convinced that his boyfriend is a ghost. Ryan takes it a little too well (and Shane wishes it was a real ghost).

Rated: G

Commentary: LMAO, this fic. Look– Ryan has to say a little lie and it becomes this big thing… he can’t even breathe properly after it. It’s incredibly fun, I enjoyed reading it a lot.

Eventually, the Darkness Stares Back by EAST (WESTAGE)

Summary: Shane realizes he likes Ryan exactly the way he is: alive.

Rated: T

Commentary: Oh, this one gave me the creeps. Shane is fucking scary, man, and the whole scenary, the moment when everything happens, I just– wow. This one’s good, really good.

Nana by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: I sat with you beside your bed and cried For things that I wish I’d said

You still had your nose red

And if I live past seventy-two, I hope I’m half as cool as you

Ryan is ready.

Rated: Not Rated (I’ll say T)

Commentary: This should be rated DEATH FOR YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, because is a soul-destroyer fic. Dude, the ending. Dude, be prepared.

“Do you think there’s fanfiction?” by Anotherlostblogger

Summary: This is about to get very meta but it does not necessarily depict real life events and/or my actual opinions about the lovely fanfic on this site.

Rated: E

Commentary: The whole first part is a lot of fun, kinda on the nose, but really funny. And the smut is good, too. Very enjoyable fic, a lot of fun for everyone. Especially Ryan, lmao.

Fuck Fear by Squeakyshroom

Summary: Ryan can’t sleep and Shane invites him into his sleeping bag.

Sex and confused feelings ensue.

Rated: E

Commentary: From one of my favorite authors, this fic has ace!Shane who enjoys getting his partner off, and Ryan enjoys it of course. This fic is a lot of fun.

Ryan Bergara: The Biggest Fucking Tease in the World by ClaraLuna98

Summary: why was Shane so GODDAMN disheveled during the Sodder Children episode?

Rated: M

Commentary: This one is supposed to happen while they are filming the Sodder Children episode of True Crime, season 1. You know the one– when Shane looked like if he had just fucked. That’s the one. And it’s glorious. Also, daddy kink.

i wanna see your face and know ive made it home by isthepartyover

Summary: “I’m going,” Shane announces, blood smeared on his face and baseball bat still clenched in shaking hands.

They try to argue with him, tell him it’s dangerous and he might die and he should really leave it to the adults-Shane barks out a laugh at that one.

“I’m going,” he insists, and follows the scientists to the creepy-ass lab and down under to the gaping, disgusting maw waiting for them underneath.

Rated: Not Rated.

Commentary: SO THIS WAS DONE BECAUSE I SAID ON ONE OF MY SILLY, SILLY FANFICS POST HOW I WANTED A STRANGER THINGS AU IN THE FANDOM AND– and angels do exist, look at THIS. It’s wonderful, you guys, Shane’s POV is rich and fun, and is an interesting story that will make you want to die a little in the climax. Go read it!

Rogue State by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: “Who are you?” Ryan blurted out, once they had gotten away.

The line of Shane’s lips stretched into an amused grin. He chuckled. “I’m still your ol’ pal, Shane. I’ve just been keeping a few secrets.“

“And what secrets are those, Shane?” Ryan asked, voice wavering under the pressure of his anxiety and irritation. Shane pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side. With a small shrug, he explained, “Let’s just say I’ve been watching you for a long time.”

Spy!Shane AU.

Rated: M

Commentary: This is such an amazing fanfic, this AU is incredible and wow, I wish there was more of this. Shane and Ryan’s relationship is everything here, the things Shane has done for Ryan... amazing.

My Wings // Shyan by egofelix

Summary: An Angel by the name of Ryan meets a Demon by the name of Shane and let’s just say… the rest is history.

Rated: Not Rated (M, for sure)

Commentary: In which Ryan is an angel, Shane is a demon, there’s a war between their worlds, and they have some good dicking session. This fic is interesting, boning aside.

Compliment Each Other Like Colors by americanchemicals

Summary: When you look into your soulmate’s eyes, the world fills with color. Until then, people are forced to live in black & white, yearning for the day they’re able to see the universe in a different way.

Rated: M

Commentary: Can’t include a “you start seeing in color when you meet your soulmate” AU, especially when it’s kind of really original and well written. Very good fic with a good twist in it.

Angel With a Shot Gun by notimmortal

Summary: "I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe. Don’t you know you’re everything I have?”

- Angel With a Shotgun by The Cab

Or

Shane is an Angel and will never let anything harm Ryan, ever.

Rated: T

Commentary: Shane (and Sara) is an angel in this one. What I like the most about it is Shane’s POV and the universe it wrote, the world building is pretty rad. And also– Shane does has a gun. His spiritual weapon is a damn gun. It’s fucking awesome.

nothing’s making sense at all by isthepartyover

Summary: Ryan was drunk.

Very drunk.

The room was spinning slightly, making it hard to focus on anything in the room or any one thought, the anxious dread he’d had building in his gut since Keith’s disappearance only getting worse and less tolerable with the alcohol in his system.

The girls were laughing loudly over some joke Ryan couldn’t quite remember hearing, leaning on one another with the force of it, and the sound was making the terrible knot of feeling in his gut worse for some reason.

Rated: Not Rated. (Again, T).

Commentary: This oen is part of the Stranger Things AU. Like I said before, I love this AU. It’s awesome and Ryan’s POV in this one is one of my favorites.

Self care by Mega_purplezebracorn

Summary: Ryan likes to shower. The shower is a private place where he can think to himself and reflect the day.

However, sometimes a certain somebody will flash into mind and…distract him from this…

This is filthy, filthy dirt and I am both ashamed and proud. *sighs* wtf have I become?

Rated: E

Commentary: This one… has something… that I really like, and I don’t know where to put my finger on it. Both chapters of it are smutty. In the first one, Ryan takes care of himself and it’s… certainly sexy. While the second one is THE scene between them.

It’s also a “discovering you got a daddy kink” fanfic, they realize together they are into that. Good shit, good shit.

conflict of interest by spoopyy

Summary: Shane is a high school science teacher who really hates his job. He bumps into a passionate, but lonely history teacher named Ryan, who just might make teaching worth it.

Rated: Not Rated (but I would say, G)

Commentary: BOY, this is such a perfect fanfic, all of it. From how they met to how they get together, and how their relationship keeps going. READ IT.

and he takes and he takes by cooliohoolio

Summary: Shane wants to say I will be dead within the next year. He wants to say the flowers in my lungs are there because of you. He wants to say I’m in love with you and it’s killing me.

Rated: Not Rated (I’d say T)

Commentary: I love Hanahaki Disease, man. It’s so tragic and romantic at the same time, and I guess– sometimes, love does feels like that. It fills you up and yet, it’s killing you, takes your breathe away. And this fic? It killed me.

Bloody Hell by AussieBookworm

Summary: One of the gifts of being bitten by a vampire, Shane supposed, was his improved hearing. For example, he could hear Jen quietly humming a song she claimed she hated, Quinta having a conversation with her mother about her father’s surprise birthday party, and Ryan leaving a meeting room and walking over to him.

***

Shane is a vampire and Ryan starts getting a bit too close to the truth, completely by accident

Rated: T

Commentary: In which Shane and Ryan visit an actual Vampire Hunter for an episode, and Shane wants to destroy something. In this one, Shane and Sara are vampires and good friends, and Ryan doesn’t know his pal is exactly what he is looking for. And it’s awesome.

May I Say I Loved You More by Luntian

Summary: He felt Ryan’s warm palm on his shoulder. By then he knew he couldn’t lie anymore.“I—well, uh…” Shane inhaled deeply, “Promise me you’ll believe.

”Ryan was puzzled, but he nodded almost immediately.

After a long pause, Shane finally continued, “I’m not human.”

“What?” Ryan whispered. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Well, I was human, then—and then I died.” Ryan stared. Shane realized he was making no sense. He sighed, “Okay, listen. I am an angel.” Shane glanced at Ryan, trying to see his reaction but he saw no expression on his face. “I was sent on Earth to, uh, complete some mission.”

“You’re an alien?!”

“I’m an angel!”

/or/

Shane is an angel with a time limit. And a boyfriend.

Rated: Not Rated (T)

Commentary: Angel Shane AU that for a second seems to be all happy– then it’s not. I cried a lot.

find each other when we’re losing our minds. by alvaughn

Summary: “Gotta build up to it, baby.” Shane replies.

“Don’t call me baby.”

Rated: M

Commentary: We are in smut territory again. This one is FUCKED UP, like– all of these Seril Killer AUs are fucked, alright, but this one is just… oh, holy shit. Ryan, uuuuh, gets off of Shane coming to him every time he kills someone. But I like it. Another take on the “don’t call me baby” comment, also

.a short history of almost something by cooliohoolio

Summary: "I think I’ll wait another year.“Shane’s in love with Ryan, and will get around to telling him. One of these days.

Rated: Not Rated (G)

Commentary: This fic is… so damn cute. All of it. The scenes with them out in the grass, looking at the stars, are wonderful.

shelter by Hugabug

Summary: When Ryan comes home, covered in blood, Shane is ready for it.

Rated: T

Commentary: Serial Killer Ryan AU. Shane loves Ryan so much in this fic. And even though Ryan does– these horrible things, you can’t help but just want them to be safe. Protective Shane in this context is as wonderful as in any other.

waiting here for catastrophe by anarchetypal

Summary: “Ryan.” Shane breaks off and sits down again, slides his chair closer to Ryan’s, stares him down. “God, fuck, look at me, okay, I did this. I did this, this is my case, this is mine, everything you’re talking about—”

Ryan can’t help it: he laughs. It comes out a little anxiously, but it’s a laugh all the same, because Shane can’t really expect him to buy into this, right?

And Shane looks—well, murderous is either the wrong word or the right one.

“I’m not kidding.”

“You really want me to believe—”

“You entertain all possible theories, right?” Shane says, exasperated and angry, and Ryan notices it’s the first time he’s ever said that seriously. “That’s what this stupid show is—that’s what you do.So entertain this one.”

All at once, it stops being funny. Something the size of a golf ball seems to lodge itself high in Ryan’s throat. He realizes it’s alarm, fear, a caged bird thrashing against the bars inside himself. He’s waiting for Shane to break, to burst into laughter, to say it’s all a stupid joke, but it doesn’t happen.

“What the fuck,” he croaks out.

Rated: M

Commentary: Serial Killer Shane. In this one, Shane is offended that Ryan thinks he is an amateour in the Art of Killing, and also does the horrible, terrible pun of “Cereal Killer” as he eats Ryan’s cereal. It’s fantastic.

when the tide comes by AnastasiaYu

Summary: the disappearance of ryan bergara.

Rated: T

Commentary: To quote Luke Skyalker, “this is not going to end the way you think”. This is… so sad. The ending is, wow, one of my favorites. The original ending. Althought the second ending is also good. But the first! So sad! So good!

i keep telling myself i’m not the desperate type by juniperProse

Summary: ““Hmm. Guess I’ll have to get you to shut up another way, then,” Shane says, and somehow he just sounds like he’s smirking.”

—

Or: It’s exactly what it sounds like. They just make out. That’s it.

Rated: T

Commentary: I know I keep saying this, but this is the cutest thing in the world and it’s gonna make you happy like it made me when I first read it. Besides, I really like this author a lot.

Short Stack by americanchemicals

Summary: An AU where the first words your soulmate ever tells you are marked on your wrist.

And Shane isn’t disappointed, because he knows he’ll know his soulmate right away, with how unique his words are.

After all, not many people greet others by saying, “You’re a fucking Sasquatch.”

Rated: T

Commentary: Listen, “You are a fucking Sasquatch!” has never been this romantic. This one fic is wonderful, def one of my favorites. Also, Soulmates AU are everything to me.

Love by JayCKx

Summary: "Do you not know how love works?“ Ryan utters softly, voice a little bit awed, looking at Shane with an expression that the taller man can’t quite place.

Immediately a million thoughts and memories spring forward into Shane’s mind.

Rated: G

Commentary: My heart warmed so much while reading this. It’s really cute, you just gotta ignore the unrequited love tag, lmao. Also a shorty but goodie.

The Desk Fic by SincerelyLeah

Summary: Shane was having a shitty Monday morning and it was all because of one person, Ryan Bergara. But, by now he should know that endless teasing gets Shane more than riled up.

Rated: E

Commentary: I have so much fun reading this damn fic. Because it’s funny– Like, Shane’s POV is funny and you can feel his frustration because Ryan is. such. a. fucking. tease. And THE moment is just– good.  Also, lmao, beware of the daddy kink.

Under The Stars by SincerelyLeah

Summary: “I promised myself I would never fall in love with you. But it was four am, and we were laughing way too hard. I felt happy for the first time in a long time, and I knew I was screwed.”

Rated: G

Commentary: A sweet something you will be glad to have read once you are done. I loved it, it’s so sweet and warm, it makes me truly happy.

if we’re gonna do this, we gotta do it now by floatingonthelehigh

Summary: “How did you convince me to come here again?”

“My irresistible charm, of course.”

Ryan’s mouth settles into a hard line. He’s not wrong.

(Shane gets Ryan to come to an old abandoned house with him. One of them, and you’ll never guess who, gets more than a little freaked out. Featuring: pure terror! confessions of love! and a somewhat-terrifying framed photograph of a woman!)

Rated: T

Commentary: Pure, sweet, loving fluff. Ryan gets a little angry at Shane but he deserves it, but at the end everything is right. I love this fic.

mystery item by rycan_toucan

Summary: ” – okay. remember last week when you, jen, steven and i went drinking and i had, like, eight and a half shots of whiskey?“

“i specifically remember the half, yes.”

“impressive. anyway, i ended up not passing out when i got home and did some high quality online shopping, instead.”***

ryan bought a thing, they both find it extremely funny and have a good time.

Rated: T

Commentary: The boys are so silly and happy in this little thing, oh my God, I’m smiling as I remember this fic.

Nemo est Scire by KatHowellLester

Summary:  Shane and Ryan are staying the night in a haunted building and Ryan can’t handle it so Shane cuddles him and makes him feel better by talking and holding him

No one has to know

Rated: E

Commentary: Say hello to the first daddy kink fic in the fandom, at least on AO3. Okay, so this one– I love the ending of this one a lot. And the use of the kink is pretty good, they actually discover they are into it during the act in the story. Pretty good and loving.

gayer than expected by juniperProse

Summary: Ryan sees Shane in his new glasses, and realizes that he may be less straight than he originally thought.

Rated: G

Commentary: NFNFINEIFRO, this one is so funny. I mean, just look at the title. Also, juniperProse is one of the best authors out there, you are gonna love this one.

Disneyland & Soulmates by anxiousdraco

Summary: Shane Madej is tired of looking at his Mark. He has yet to meet his Other even though he’s 26. So, he saves up his money and catches a flight to LA to get his Mark removed – something that is incredibly frowned upon. When he finds out he is to meet his Other in two hours, he goes to Disneyland. Why? Who knows. But it all works out in the end. // Shyan

Rated: Not Rated (I’d say T)

Commentary: Super cute, one hell of a meet-cute, even if at the beginning is a little bit angsty. Love this fic!

forever by catbrains

Summary: Prompt: “Can I kiss you?”

It’s an urge that comes on suddenly and all-consumingly, like starvation with no hunger to prelude it.

Rated: G

Commentary: In this one, they kiss for the first time and I melted when I first read it. The super poetic and beautiful way the kiss is written haunts me to this night.

The Lube Fic by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Someone sends Ryan a 55-gallon drum of lube, and Shane finds a good use for it.

Rated: Not rated (M, I think)

Commentary: Like I said before, Joey is the best and he always gives us the best content. This one is hot and funny. Also, it’s in his oneshots anthology, Between a Crucifix and the Hollywood Sign. This fic is so much fun... and has daddy kink, lmao.

Popping Dilemmas by SincerelyLeah

Summary: A late night run and met a late night stranger.

Rated: G

Commentary: This is one of those fics a meet-cute that you just LOVE, and this one is the case for me.

But I would like to, with you by MPhoenix7

Summary: “Maybe I don’t”.

“But I would like to, with you” was left unsaid.

Rated: T

Commentary: As you can see, this little moment marked us all. This one is another take on that, “You don’t know how love works?” little question. It’s also incredible.

in a crowd of thousands by Hugabug

Summary:  the parade traveled on, with the sun in my eyes you were gone but i knew even then in a crowd of thousands i’ll find you again

Rated: G

Commentary: And as you can see, I love Hugabug’s writing and wonderful AUs. This an Anastasia AU, Ryan is Anastasia and Shane is Dimitri, and this is BEAUTIFUL.

Unsolved by areneecz

Summary: The fluff-fueled antics of Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej.

Rated: M (but not really, is like T)

Commentary: OH THIS ONE. It’s so good, so pure, so cute. Shane calls Ryan “sweetheart” and I just fucking MELTED.

Candid by Planterra

Summary: ”The light shone through the window, hitting the younger’s smooth skin in just the right way. He was glowing. Ethereal. Beautiful, Light in an unworldly sense- and all of him belonged to Shane.“

Rated: E

Commentary: This is such a poetic little thing, in the smut realm also, and so beautiful…

I Only Need One Hand To Drive by gayunsolved

Summary: Ryan Bergara knows what he likes, okay? But he won't tell you if you ask, so don't ask.

(Alternatively, putting the 'size' in fantasize.)

Rated: E

Commentary: AHAHAHA, THIS FIC. So good, so hot, so-- listen, Size Kink it’s my thing and this fic gave me exactly what I wanted.

Oh Well, Oh Well by americanchemicals

Summary: Shane was just a typical demon, adventuring with his boyfriend through different haunted locations. Little did his boyfriend know, but he was there to make sure that nothing sinister hurt his human.

Ryan was just a regular demon, travelling to different haunted locations with his boyfriend for videos. Little did his partner know, but he was also making sure nothing hurt his tall partner.

Rated: M

Commentary: In this one, both of them are demons and it’s amazing, because none has any idea the other is, lmao. I love this fic.

Under no circumstances by Memefaego

Summary: Under no circumstances is Ryan getting in the tub with Shane.

Rated: T

Commentary: I bookmarked this one as “quality content” and that’s what it is. It’s the only fic about that bathrube scene, can you believe that?

things you said in the moonlight. by idkspookystuff

Summary:  Ryan invites Shane to spend the night, only he hasn't told his boyfriend he's transgender yet. or ryan's trans, he gets his period, and shane loves him despite everything.

Rated: T

Commentary: Such a sweet little fanfic that I love with all my heart. Trans Ryan AU, he and Shane had just started to date and everything is cute.

crossroads by thescrewtapedemos

Summary: It’s not a good idea to try rituals you find on the internet.

Rated: T

Commentary: Ryan’s actions in this fic are horrible in the sense that he thought– he thought nothing had happened and yet, all nightmares come to him and he doesn’t seem to notice, until the nightmare starts getting more and more clear. It’s incredible. I love this fic. It’s short and terrifying.

force at play by historicandgay (dannylawrence)

Summary: Over the decades, the Queen Mary has become filled to the brim with varying spirits and ghosts. Most of them are tired and prefer to keep away from the living. Most of them, that is. On one fateful trip, a young Ryan Bergara gets more than he predicted when a nosy ghost ends up seeing the future he could have with a certain skeptic, if only Ryan could just, ya know, believe in ghosts.

"Everything always came together, perfectly so, whether you meant it to or not, whether you wanted it to or not, no matter how hard people tried to predetermine the answer to every aspect of life, there was always something more."

Rated: Not Rated (I’d say G)

Commentary: Such a sweet fanfic about the ghosts at the Quen Mary, and one in particular that sees Ryan grow.

but still let me tell you that i love who you are by BooyahFordhamYacht

Summary: Ryan says the most wonderful things when there’s no one there to listen yet.Or, five voicemails from Ryan that Shane refuses to delete.

Rated: T

Commentary: A most recent fanfic I read while doing this list, it’s such a little gem. I love it to no end, it made me cry with how sweet and raw it is. I looove it.

Sweaters and Glasses by SincerelyLeah

Summary: It was the middle of September and it was cold in the house.

Rated: M

Commentary: Another smutty piece that I love way too much. I have a thign for glasses, alright, don’t judge me and just read this wonderful fic.

secrets by rycnbergara

Summary: the day after a huge party, ryan’s hungover, to say the least. but he drags himself out to the street festival outside. there, he meets a magician around his age. maybe the best decision he ever made.

Rated: G

Commentary: A great magician never tells his secrets, but this fic needs to be known. I loved it, it’s a lot of fun and something just sweet for when you are feeling down.

i'll hold your hand (but only if you want me to) by cactsu

Summary: “When you, uh… when you called me babe, I… I kind of liked it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I guess I should do it more often, then,” Shane turned to lock eyes with Ryan, something dark and sultry in his eyes. “Babe.”

(basically based on the ‘I’m pretending to be your bf because you looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on you’ prompt)

Rated: E

Commentary: Aaaaah, the smut in this fandom is just wonderful. And this fic? Amazing, one of my favorites.

the things you do to me (you know them too well) by Catherines_Collections

Summary: He thinks maybe it won’t last, tries not to think too much about the risk their both taking, but he’s going to enjoy it while it does.

Rated: Not Rated (I’d say T)

Commentary: Oh, man. This fic is wonderful, like everything this author ever does. I love it, the narrative is incredible.

the ghosts are screaming by ryan_bergara (ashtronomical_wander)

Summary: "Okay, not gonna lie, I'm still freaking out a bit about this hotel, so erm," Ryan says frantically, eyes shifting around the room in panic. "How about we, er…" he nods towards the bed, before giving Shane a pleading look.

"Wait, are you sure?" Shane blushes a little, not sure if he feels right doing this when Ryan was in such a state just moments ago.

"It'll take my mind off it, come on…"

- Basically -

Ryan has anxiety and Shane is his comfort.

Rated: E

Commentary: Man, I love this fic for the way it portraits their relationship. They are such a good couple and they are still best friends. It’s incredible well done and so hot, too. This smut is in another level for that. Also-- it’s fun, you are gonna smile and laugh reading it.

Flinch by oh-devil (conceit)

Summary: “Holy shit, you are ticklish.”

“Congratulations, you cracked the case.” Shane shot back the rest of his beer and tried to level his best glare at Ryan. “Now fuck off.”

Ryan’s laughter rang out through the trees.

Rated: M

Commentary: There is something special about this fic. I’m not sure what it is, but every fnfic during the Bigfoot hunt is just... blue. And wonderful. I really like this fic for some reason.

Good Enough by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Shane couldn't stand the idea of Ryan regretting him, and such a regret could start that very night.

Or, both of these boys are massively insecure.

Conrinuation of The Proposal(s) by GhostWheeze and murphy's law by Spoopyy.

Rated: E

Commentary: Joey is back at it again with another wonderful fanfic. This one is a wedding night fic, so imagine that-- It’s amazing, alright. I will always love more some sweet and tender, and loving, errr, love-making, than any other kind of sex. And Joey here did an amazing job.

i think i'm still turning out by the_tenerife_sea

Summary: Shane is starting to think Ryan is using him for his baby, considering how much he’s already talked her up to all of their coworkers and friends.

____

Or the one where Shane is a new parent, and Ryan is always there for him (and his daughter, of course).

Rated: G

Commentary: I love parents AU and this one is just lovely-- I don’t know what happened that people started to post kid fics all at once in the same week, but I’m glad they did. I may not be a big fan of how Shane becomes a single dad, but I really liked this fic.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by AmazingAida

Summary: Ryan likes looking into Shane’s eyes, so as to not look into the darkness, so as to not let his mind wander.

Rated: E

Commentary: Their relationship in this fic is so deep and beautiful, man. The smut is obviously great, but its the depth of their relationship that makes this fic incredible.

not with you by oMUSEo

Summary: "I'm always scared," Ryan whispers, afraid that if he speaks too loud the moment will be ruined and Shane will wake up and realize he's been hallucinating. That he should go back to his girlfriend who smiles like sunshine and likes her coffee the same way he does because Ryan is just unlucky when it comes to love.

Or when two dorks love each other and don't know how to act.

Rated: T

Commentary: One of the first fics I read and that I loved. Again, the way their relationship develops and the angst around it as it happens, amazing. I love this fic with all my heart.

Shane And Ryan Were Here by WhatWereMadeOf

Summary: “I’m...where are we? Did you just wake up? Are you okay? Jesus fucking Christ I’m so sorry...I’m so sorry Shane...”

When Shane didn’t reply, Ryan opened his eyes to see confusion on the other man’s face. He watched him lift a hand and point to his ear. He spoke slowly, and Ryan’s heart sank into his stomach when no sound came out.

“I can’t hear you.”

Or, Ryan and Shane get abducted and held captive by aliens. Maybe? Probably? There's some debate.

Rated: T

Commentary: This fic is amazing. It’s disturbing and all, but it’s also... kind of fluffy. I love it, to be honest-- It’s the greatest shit. Also-- IT WAS ALIENS, I KNOW IT!

Reluctant Cuddles by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane knows it’s his job as a Dom to take care of his boy after a scene. Sometimes he forgets he needs care too.

Rated: G

Commentary: One of the sweetest little things I’ve read in this fandom, especially as someone who loves dom/sub dynamics. This is so important and sweet.

Me & U (Village Bootleg Remix) by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: A possessive, drunk Ryan and a flustered, lovelorn Shane walk into a bar...

Rated: T

Commentary: In which one lowkey wants to punch Ryan for being such a bro, but then you realize he ain’t. This fic is awesome.

The Thing About Submission by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane and Ryan have a day to play. So they explore one of Shane's favorite things as a Dom: bottoming.

Rated: E

Commentary: Doms that bottom are the best and of course Dean, king of dom/sub in the shyan fandom, is the right person to write this. Honestly, this fic-- amazing.

Ghosting by Girlwithgoggles

Summary: Shane dies, and Ryan's world falls apart. Then a pen rolls off Ryan's coffee table.

Rated: T

Commentary: Man... You guys sure love your Ghost AU as sad as it comes, this one doesn’t disappoint.

Just Out of Reach by formosus_iniquis

Summary: A variation on the “I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore” prompt

Rated: T

Commentary: This fic makes me happy. It’s lovely and so well written, the situation it presents it’s also funny and overall, I love it.

while we all pretend to sleep by fructose

Summary: Ryan hears about a town in the Southwest, Shane takes him there.

They drove across the southern point of Nevada over two slow days, traversing that jagged shard of rock and dust with the static from the radio as their soundtrack. It crackled on even as Ryan pressed his hand between Shane’s legs, leaning over as they drove to growl obscene things in his ear. It was the white noise that played on as Ryan jerked Shane off in the back of the van, their bodies pressed close and hot.

Rated: M

Commentary: This fic… is another level of… awesome. I don’t know how to explain it, man. But it has something magical about it. I guess is the fact that I like melancholic and weird things. But it’s really In The Mood, you know.

Fresh Eyes by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Soulmate au where when you reach 18 you stop aging until you meet your soulmate? After a few years of being roommates (they were roommates through college and then just moved in together afterwards) shane and Ryan realize they've been slowly aging together (Bonus points if one of them realizes first and has to bring it up to the other person)

Rated: T

Commentary: This soulmate AU is such a cute little thing, I love it. It’s like a bunch of wonderful tropes in one well written and perfect fic.

the mustang kids are out by sevencts

Summary: "Do you want to turn back?“

Ryan looks at his hands: Left– clasped around the handle of his pistol, right– clasped around the palm of his lover. "No,” he whispers, taking a deep breath in and coming to meet Shane’s eyes again. He says, in earnest with a twisted smile on his pink lips. “Never.

Rated: M

Commentary: Oh, boy. This is the Bonnie & Clyde AU you never thought you needed until you read this. Short, but I love it. I fucking love it.

what’s the opposite of recruitment? by kinderhook (mrs_nerimon)

Summary: Ryan has a problem with the newest member of his Paranormal Club.

Rated: G

Commentary: In which Ryan has zero common sense and his friends are so tired. This fic is a lot of fun.

i'm just curious by soyicedcoffee

Summary: Ryan thinks, in this moment, as Shane twirls a pen between her fingers idly, that she’s never been so viscerally irritated.

Rated: E

Commentary: Genderswap AU. I never thought I would read one of these over here, but you guys always manage to surprise me in the best ways. This fic is everything. I’m conflicted because Shane reminds me of my crush in the city, who absolutely broke my heart, but man-- this fic is good.

I Think the Ghost Likes You by cactsu

Summary:  "Dude, are... are you touching me?"

"...No."

aka shane is bold enough to touch ryan, but not bold enough to admit it.

Rated: T

Commentary: Man, this fic. It’s a lot of fun to read and it has something-- the tease of them being together, I guess. It has a great ending, but seriously all that part about the ghost wanting to feel up Ryan, Jesus fucking Christ-- that’s great.

Not Safe For Work by doctorkaitlyn

Summary: Of all the many, many meetings Ryan has had to sit through since becoming a full-fledged Buzzfeed employee, this one is probably the most painful, for exactly three reasons.

1) It's not even eight thirty yet, and his coffee has yet to kick in and wake him up.

2) Zack is on his left watching a muted stream of last night’s Warriors and Lakers game, which is nearly impossible to look away from.

3) Shane is on his right, and one of his huge hands has been planted just above Ryan’s knee almost from the moment he first sat down.

(Or, having sex in a sound booth during work hours probably isn't appropriate workplace conduct, even for Buzzfeed, but that doesn't stop Ryan and Shane.)

Rated: E

Commentary: Listen, these men are killing me and in this fic? Holy shit Shane is a smooth son of a bitch and I love him. And also, Ryan, dear-- wow.

The Conjuring by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Omg yes...write a conjuring fic pls.

Rated: M

Commentary: I’m in love with AU. it’s so interesting and well written. It’s not the movie(s) but its own piece put in the universe of the movies. It’s incredible.

transgender dysphoria blues by ficfucker

Summary: shane and ryan find themselves in new hampshire to film an episode

and get a bit sidetracked in the process

Rated: E

Commentary: Trans Shyan. I’m in love with this fic, even though it’s kind of sad as the name suggested. It has something very special that I think speaks to many people. Shane is such-- I don’t know how to say this. But he is amazing and so is Ryan, and I love this fic.

two bros chilling in a sleeping bag by nastyboy (orphan_account)

Summary: “Dude. Dude. Shane. You gotta let me sleep in your sleeping bag.”

Shane rolls over. “”There- it’s a one-person bag.”

Rated: M

Commentary: I love this kind of dirty stuff, don’t judge me. Honestly, bless the authors of our fandom.

Revolutionary Road by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: can i request a shyan fic where the two get into a fight??? im in the mood for angst i guess lol. thank u!!!!

Rated: T

Commentary: Bro, this fic is... wow. A very interesting ghost story, passt lifes and possessions. It’s truly an amazing fanfic.

you get me closer to god by sessrumnir

Summary: Ryan wants to experiment. Shane is more than happy to comply.

Rated: E

Commentary: Also bless this fandom for writing such good Dom/Sub dynamics and in such different ways from one another, for making their relationship so deep and their trust so big, that’s love. This fic is wonderful. And hot.

And Then You by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: amazingaida asked: heya! same AmazingAida from ao3, I decided to check out your tumblr and I'm in love with it ngl <3 so, since i'm here, concept: ryan wearing shane's shirts bc shane is a very tol bean and just ryan wearing them when he gets scared for comfort and just ahhhh

Rated: T

Commentary: I have a Thing(tm) for Ryan wearing Shane’s clothes, and apparently, so does Shane. I love this little fic, it’s not only adorable, but sexy.

Honey by spectr

Summary: Alternatively: Ryan Bergara seizes the moment.

Rated: M

Commentary: Well, this is one of the sexiest things. And it’s not smut. Also, this fic is so poetic and aesthetically pleasing, I love it.

Ugly Sweater by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane hates the holidays. Specifically this holiday because he lost a bet. And the sweater is awful.

Rated: G

Commentary: Christmas fluff is always good and this fic is everything. Besides, ugly sweaters? My aesthetic.

Bloodflows by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: "Shane scoffed; the Force, the Jedi, balance, order, none of it made sense to him. It was too difficult to believe that there was some cosmic power responsible for ensuring the stability of the galaxy. He knew better than anyone what a joke that was. The cosmos were a boiling cauldron of chaos, wild and uncontrolled."

or

Shane discovers he has a power that could give him everything he wants, if he'll only let it.

Rated: Not Rated (T)

Commentary: Listen, I never knew I would need a Star Wars AU, but as it turns out-- I do. This idea of scruffy looking smuggler Shane and believer in the force Ryan is everything I’ve wanted. I love this fic a lot.

The Potion by 1967VivalaKITT

Summary: Basically Shane gets a love potion from a sketchy lady off the street, he puts it in Ryan's water gun and then accidents happen.

Rated: Not Rated (G)

Commentary: Listen, a love potion fic that is not used for sex it’s a big oportunity one can’t let go. I love casual magic in fics and this one is wonderful at it.

But if it's Not Right (What Can I Do?) by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Ryan Bergara, host of True Crime on Buzzfeed Radio, attracts the wrong person's attention.

A twisted version of Pichiba's radio!au.

Rated: T

Commentary: I LOVE FUCKED UP SHIT, and this one is one of the bests in the fandom. For real, I love this AU and I love how well Joey wrote the sick part of it all. The ending just jfbnfdinfir gave me the chills, it’s damn amazing.

Let's just forget the Hollywood rules by tearupthesky

Summary: Ryan rolls his chair closer to Shane. "Did you hear that, man?" he says under his breath. "That dog hates me, did you hear it growl at me? It almost took my fucking hand off! It could smell the curse. It recognized me with its primordial wolf senses."

"It's a fucking labradoodle," Shane says.

Rated: T

Commentary: Ryan is such a smooth motherfucker in this fic, I love it. There’s a part in which Shane  makes a playlist for the main event of the fic and it’s just so fucking funny to read. I love this fic.

It's a Ghost (Snake) by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Ryan's been courting the oblivious Shane for months. Jen comes up with a surefire way to win him over.

Rated: G

Commentary: I’m a sucker for fics with pets, and this one is so sweet-- Ryan is the best, and he deserves all the kisses.

Unconventional by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: …In that moment, [Shane] can’t find an elegant way to ask, “Hey, you’re exceptionally healthy, have a great personality and are well-educated. Want to be my baby’s daddy?”

Or

Shane and Ryan take an unconventional path to parenthood.

Rated: E

Commentary: Trans!Shane. This is one of my favorite fics in the fandom. I just love it, the whole of it, and it explores parenthood for transmen. The author is trans himself and a wonderful person, so they know what they are talking about and I just– he is the author I respect the most right now.

pray to stay by halfwheeze

Summary: Prompt! Okay, imagine this: Shane and Ryan are investigating a house infested with demons, right? And the demons are like 'damn aren't they just cuter than a kitten in a basket?' So they start to purposefully scare Ryan in order to give him and Shane a proper push in the right direction!

Rated: Not Rated (T)

Commentary: This small weird fanfic deserves much more love,it’s so original and just-- so good. I love the POV and the strange story. It’s great.

getting late to give you up by middlecyclone

Summary:  Nobody ever becomes a ghost the easy way.

Rated: T

Commentary: The ghost chick in this fic is everything More seer!Shane for the soul.

Mission: Brave New World by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: The Federation's rise to power had started years ago. When the great energy-producing deserts were destroyed, the world powers that depended on them collapsed. And in their wake, the Federation began to rise.

The Federation united all of South America under one banner, and devoured everything in its path as it moved relentlessly to the north. After turning ODIN against us, the Federation stood on the doorstep of America, poised for the kill.

They thought we were weak, crippled; prey waiting to be taken. We fought hard and we fought well. We fought them to a bloody stalemate. And here, just beyond the craters of "No Man's Land", we find ourselves in a defensive war against a more powerful enemy.

Rated: M

Commentary: Ah, man. The racism exposed in this fic is something else, and the way Ryan is written... wow. I love this fic, it’s very cool and interesting, and the boys are badass. And they sort of get married, I love it.

First Anniversary by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane's distracted, it's their first anniversary and Ryan doesn't even seem to remember.

Rated: G

Commentary: Such a sweet fic from a very amazing author that I love. I’m a sucker for established relationship fluff and this fic gave me al I need.

Might As Well Fall by middlecyclone

Summary: “I don’t trust this house,” Ryan says. “Something is really, really wrong here.”

Rated: M

Commentary: Fuck, this fic is amazing. It’s one of the best horror fics I’ve read, and while it’s not-- it’s not really scary or something, the tension it builds and the way it shows the boys’ feelings and relationship is incredible well done.

boys and their toys by ficfucker

Summary:  some trans!shane for the soul

Rated: E

Commentary: Trans!Shane. I really like the way the writer made their relationship and Shane’s POV is veeery good.

ghosts can't pick up power drills (probably) by anarchetypal

Summary: “What you’re suggesting is that we have sex in the exact spot where a dude was once brutally murdered with a power drill. That is what you’re suggesting to me right now.”

Shane throws up his hands. “Well, sure, when you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous.”

Rated: M

Commentary: Alright, this fic is a lot of fun and I enjoyed it a lot when I read it for the first time. Shane is such a litle shit, it’s amazing.

Would U Be So Kind ? by Lizjames

Summary:  There stood Shane Madej with his signature grin on his face

Ryan’s heart sped up and he groaned.

Or

Ryan has feelings, and he doesn’t really know what they are and how to process them.

Rated: T

Commentary: Another poetic piece that blowed me away. The relationship between them is so wonderful and pure, and there is a lot of pool time involved.

breathe for me, baby by literalmetaphor

Summary: Shane loves seeing Ryan freak out.

But not like this.

Rated: T

Commentary: Protective Shane is my favorite Shane, and this fic builds the tension of what will happen at the end pretty good. It’s a very good story.

Maybe, Kinda by babbyspanch

Summary: Ryan is having a tough day. Okay, tough week. Alright it's been a tough few months but he's got it handled okay? He's handed over the editing of Unsolved to a team and now... well he's still distracted, but he's trying.

But, Shane just makes it really hard to focus.

Rated: G

Commentary: Such a sweet fic, man. I love the fluff in this... and the pining!

On Longing and Other Contrite Bullshit by sunshinewinchesters

Summary: All Shane can ever do is long for his ghost-fearing best friend, and apparently be angsty about it until something finally happens.

Rated: T

Commentary: More pining for the soul, and some more deep POVs that sound like poetry, this time from Shane’s view. Also, this fic talks about my city in such good light, I had to love it a bit more.

Removing the Mask by skepticalghouligan

Summary: Shane doesn't believe in luck. But even he has to admit it's a damn good coincidence that he got stuck sleeping in the same bed as Ryan that night.

Rated: G

Commentary: Kids, sometimes when we want to be funny, we end up almost giving our crush a heartattack. But for real, this fic is super tender and I love it.

Panem et Circenses by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: “As a reminder that even the strongest among you cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, on this, the third Quarter Quell games, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors from each district-”

Shane felt his world fall away. A cold numbness coursed through his body. His heart leapt in his throat while his stomach dropped to his feet. If not for Ryan beside him, he would have given into his urge to vomit.

Rated: M

Commentary: I was never a Hunger Games kind of girl but I did read the books, this crossover is super interesting and holy shit, it’s savage as fuck. I love it.

~ Multichapters

Someone to Stay by carrieonfighting

Summary: Ryan can't sleep at night, and Shane is an enigma

Rated: T

Chapters: 2/2

Commentary: Oh, man. This two-chapters fic is something else. There is a part in which Ryan puts holy water on Shane’s coffee because he can’t believe the things that are happening between them. The denial is real. Also, it’s just very good.

Me and You by SaturnineMartial

Summary: "Have you ever thought about getting married?""That's a loaded question if I ever heard one.""Never mind, forget I said anything."

Rated: M

Chapters: 2/2

Commentary: The start of a series I’m very interested in. This lovely fic has all I love in my fluff: love, cuteness, marriage proposals and sweet lovemaking.

Foolish Mortal by ghostwheeze

Summary: After a demon encounters a teenage Ryan Bergara on-board the Queen Mary, the spirit decides to follow the entertaining boy around, eventually possessing a vessel to spend even more time with the kid. When they both land their own show where they investigate the paranormal, the demon - Shane - takes glee in watching Ryan try to interact with spirits. If only he knew there was one right next to him.

Rated: T

Chapters: 8/8

Commentary: I will be forever in love with this fic and that one chapter when we got Ryan’s POV and we saw how he came into an understanding of who Shane is, and then-- he found out the truth. This is an mazing fic, a classic in the fandom, and you HAVE to read it.

Oblivion by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Tragic consequences typically follow when a god falls in love with a human. Typically...

Based on the comment:"My theory is that Shane is the devil and was just super bored. Then one day he chanced upon a poor scared Ryan and thought “this is pretty fun” and now follows him to supernatural sights to have a giggle at his expense. But that’s also why they never capture anything on video, because the evil spirits and demons know Shane for who he really is and are too afraid to mess with him."

Rated: E

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: One of the best AUs out there. Since the beginning, it traps you into the narrative and the way Shane is characterized. The story between him and Ryan is beautiful, this is literally soulmates without it being an AU, they are damn mean to be. This fic is the literal meaning of eternal love.

The Great Heist Of Shane Madej by Cat (ActualBuckyBarnes)

Summary: Have you ever wanted to run away?

Ryan Bergara, local troublemaker and scoundrel, has his whole world turned upside down when he finds out that his best friend, Shane Madej, is being abused by his parents. Ryan spends the next four years of his life trying to get Shane away from his family - but what happens when they finally make it?

A story about being lost, and then being found again.

Rated: M

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: While I haven’t finished reading this because life is kicking my ass, I’m enjoying it a lot. As an abuse survivor, these are nice things to read.

You're Just What I Needed by doctorkaitlyn

Summary: In which Ryan and Shane first meet (and make out) at a party on the final day of the semester, officially fall for each other over the course of a summer spent two thousand miles apart, and then make out some more, all while having spirited debates about ghosts, cryptids, and whether or not Medieval Times is awesome.

(Spoiler alert: they agree to disagree on all of the above.)

Rated: T

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: This fic is lovely and warm, I love the way their relationship starts and how it develops as the chapters keep going. It’s a lot of fun to read.

The Ghost Of You Is Close To Me by skepticseptic

Summary: Character A is a spirit medium that has the ability to see and communicate with spirits – the problem with this is that Character A has started to develop a crush on Character B, one of the friendlier spirits that comes to visit Character A.

Rated: T

Chapters: 2/2

Commentary: While this may not have a proper happy ending, I still think it’s happy and sweet. Ghost Shane is… adorable. You’ll see.

Don’t Want it Troubling Your Mind by Crimsonflowerz

Summary: Shane Madej really liked Ryan Bergara. He was funny, a joy to mess with, and took his brand of teasing pretty well. He would consider him a friend, kind of. But when the team goes to investigate the Franklin Castle for ghosts, Shane gets more than he bargained for, and the results could cost him his friendship with Ryan.

Rated: T

Chapters: 7/7

Commentary: One thing that makes this fic so original in its own is the fact that it has such a… charming demon. Anael is fuckig funny, he a bitch-- but so funny. He is evil and you hate him for doing all he does to Shane, the way he plays with his mind, and the three final chapters are just– horrible. But yeah, this fic.. it’s gooood. Also, ace!Shane.

Office Space by skepticalghouligan

Summary: The construction really was only supposed to take a few weeks on Ryan’s office. And it would have - it was a simple expansion and paint job. That was, until Shane Madej got brought onto the project. It only took two days (and three near misses) for Ryan to believe Shane may be trying to kill him. But could it be something else?

Rated: E

Chapters: 19/19

Commentary: Like I said before, this author is one of my favorites and in part it’s because of how well planned and build his fics are. This wonderful story is such a funny yet deep AU I love with all I am.

Hey, nude by y00ti

Summary: Shane drunkenly tries to send a nude to some guy he met on tinder. It doesn’t go as planned.

Rated: Not Rated (I would say T)

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: I had so much fun reading this fic. I first read it here on tumblr and soon the author posted it on AO3 and it’s glorious. All the pining and the sexual tension... You will laugh a lot.

The Department of Unsolved Cases by trailsofpaper (Sanwall)

Summary:  Ryan Bergara hasn’t been an FBI agent for long, but he’s seen enough inexplicable things during his career to know there’s more to the world than meets the eye. He comes up against the stubbornly skeptic Shane Madej, head of the Unsolved Cases department - the basement where low-priority cases go to die.

The case of possible alien abductions and UFO sightings become top-priority very soon however, and Ryan starts to think that maybe Shane has a reason for wanting to stay on the Unsolved Cases even though he used to have a very promising FBI career in front of him.

Come to think of it, maybe Ryan also has his reasons for wanting to stay by Shane’s side even when things get rocky.

Rated: M

Chapters: 10/10

Commentary: I’m on chapter three of this one, and so far, so good. It’s a great adaptation of The X Files and the boys characterization is very good. I’m liking it a lot…

Lost Buttons by Trash4bears

Summary: They have somewhat platonic sex in a haunted place it's as simple as that

Rated: E

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: There’s nothing platonic about this fanfic, lmao. It’s hot, super dirty, but hot. Chapter three has some of the best positions I’ve read ina while. And dialogues are amazing.

Maelstrom by thewindupbird

Summary: Here’s the thing about driving halfway across the country to see someone. You can’t really deny, after that, that you’re pretty much head over heels for them.

Rated: E

Chapters: 11/11 (complete)

Commentary: Again, I haven’t finished this fic but everyone loves it and I trust the fandom’s good taste. Beides, I read the series before this fic, and they are amazing. I can’t wait to have time and read this; but so far (chapter 4), it’s really good. I aspire to be this good.

[yourghastlycloseness]

lately i have become something of an android. not sure when it started. i’ve been reviewing my past entries to track the development of this android-ness lol. i think i started to feel this after my october 2019 trip to tokyo.

a few years ago, i wrote that i aspired towards a sterile, android-like existence. i wanted nothing to do with people because they affected me so much. i fantasized about operating like a cold, calculative machine because i wanted to be more in control of my overwhelming em0tionS.

for a while, i was even namely attracted to people who struck me as cold and aloof, because i envied how they lived as human calculators, processing the world around them rationally. they had traits that i wished to emulate in myself. i thought that whatever magic they had would rub off on me if i just hung around them. that said, i never actively tried to be like them because that just wasn’t me back then. i did, however, repress emotions that weren’t useful to me as a way of coping with all the depression/mania/anxiety i was going through.

then it happened overnight.

one day i woke up and realized i have become that human calculator lol. it’s not that i’m unfeeling now. i’m still in touch with my emotions and get anxious about picking up phone calls and work. i still have severe self-esteem issues and problems maintaining relationships (the fact that i consider them problems means that i want to work on my relationship skills).

but i can be...startlingly calculative in my relationships with people. ultimately, i know i don’t truly love anyone beyond my immediate family. these days, i can even rank people in my life and prioritize the ones who matter. i factor a few things into consideration:

i) how long they’re likely to stick around

ii) how much i enjoy their company

iii) how much they likely value me as a friend

i consider their jobs, the speed of their replies to my texts, the time they spend with their family/significant others relative to the time spent with me/our clique of friends.

i make mental flowcharts to help me think about what steps to take next when interacting with friends. for eg., if X replies me on this, it demonstrates this, which means i should offer this. if X says this, i should say this in reply.

i don’t know what happened. was it financial independence? lol. i attribute a lot of my newfound state of calm/contentment to having a working adult’s financial independence. i always thought people were vital for us to sustain ourselves. only to later realize that no, practically speaking, what you need is a source of income.

with that income, i was able to fund my solo trips, where i discovered that i can go for tremendous periods of time with no social interaction at all, and that i feel more at peace in solo mode than when i have to actually keep in touch with anyone who isn’t my mom/dad/younger brother.

the problem is: i like to talk a lot. but i’ve since found that vlogging and journaling help me to deal with that. i like talking. but i don’t particularly enjoy listening unless it’s a topic that interests me personally. so it’s fine if i don’t talk to people, actually. half the time i’m just talking and writing to get all the mental noise out of my head.

anyway i was looking at some old stuff today. as i’ve said — i might be terribly unsentimental. i can throw away nice letters people have written for me. all these were addressed to my past self/selves — versions of me that i no longer feel connected to. so i read these cards and likewise, feel almost nothing. i keep them more as archives of a teenage/young adult girl’s mind and social life at that point.

i used to be a huge romantic too lol. fourteen-year-old me wrote and made all these cringey af stories and sketches about love <3. lol. now all i want is to pay pale, pretty, lanky boys to entertain me for 3 hours or something and to have nothing to do with them after that. i still believe in love; i just no longer have expectations that it will happen to me. and yeah, i’m slightly salty about it. but do i really care?

nah. just give me the prettiest boy toys. i’d take 10 pretty boys paid to entertain me for one night over 1 regular dude who will love me deeply for the rest of my life. of course, for some lucky people, that’s 1 pretty boy who will love you deeply for the rest of your life. lucky bitches. the probability of that happening for me is close to a fat zero though. so i settle for what i can get. but if what i can get is 10 regular guys paid to entertain me for one night, then no thanks. i’m extremely visual where attraction is concerned. i won’t settle for something i don’t want.

my purpose here was never to be known and understood and loved. i only care about having fun. that’s why i hate that i’m not beautiful and wake up everyday at war with my body. beautiful people have more fun. tis a facT boohoo

i’m just thinking about fan letters that celebrities receive. if i can be this heartless with letters from friends, what would i be like with fan letters lol? if i ever got famous, i’d actually decline to receive fan letters because wow, what a waste of paper. planet earth is dying. let’s not kill it further with this shit.

sure, i’m a huge fangirl too once i felt sad that BTS live such important lives and will one day find people who will love them and whom they will love back lol, and that us fans would be nowehere in that equation. i get that sort of obsessive love for a celebrity. but also, sis, if you want oppar to notice you, pouring all your heart into a letter might only get you to the recycle bin. you could, alternatively, try to make a name for yourself and then let oppar know that you saranghae him in an interview or talk show. go big or go home haha

i’m actually trying to re-awaken the more caring and people-oriented side of myself. i can’t remember what it is to be that person. sure, it meant a great deal more emotional turbulence within me, but it also meant having a bigger heart. and that was probably nice. i want to have that for the people i love.

i’m also no longer drawn to cool, aloof, robotic people. i’m more attracted to people who are more sensory these days. people who ‘live in the moment’ lol, make things with their hands, are in touch with their emotions and ‘follow their hearts’ lmao but aren’t total idiots about it. maybe it’s because i need to reconnect with this repressed part of myself to strike a balance? since my robotic self seems to have taken over my hippie flower child self who wants to touch everything i see.

yeah, i could use some balance.

anyway around the time i became robotic, i also got a clearer idea of my sexual identity and orientation. i’ll go into that another time.

[dynamic-asteroids]

2017 Year in Review meme

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

I had a whopping four surgeries to break up kidney stones. Having that many surgeries in one year was certainly...an experience, though obviously not a fun one.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept one! My resolutions were to lose 10 pounds and decide if I wanted to transition. I didn’t lose the weight but I did start testosterone about four months ago, and no longer go by my birth name. 

The resolutions I made for this year are to be kinder to myself, continue working on my mental health, and to become more comfortable in my identity as a nonbinary person.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandma died in October.

5. What countries did you visit?

A big old zero on that one. I unfortunately spent the entire year in the US, but I’m planning on getting my passport in 2018 so hopefully next year I can travel.

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

Holy fuck I NEED to be healthier. I’m going back to school for another degree and I don’t want to keep having to put my life on hold to tend to my health any more. 

7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I don’t remember the exact date, but Trump taking office in January was certainly a dark stain upon my country’s history. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Starting testosterone, which was also the best part of the year by far. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don’t know. I feel like I tried really hard. I did my best even though my year didn’t turn out like I wanted it to.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

/bitter kidney stone related laughter 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A very comfortable thermal onesie that I would never take off if I didn’t have to.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My two best friends were both there for me 110% this year every time I needed them and I’m endlessly grateful for both of them. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Every Republican who supports Trump can fucking choke. 

14. Where did most of your money go?

I honestly was very good about saving my money this year. I didn’t buy many frivolous things at all. The biggest chunk of money I spent at once was just for Christmas presents. 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

There are a couple funko pop lines coming out that I am ridiculously excited about. I feel like 2018 is going to include buying a lot of funkos lmao.

16. What song will always remind you of 2016?

Basically Taylor Swift’s whole Reputation album because it’s pretty much the only new music I listened to the whole year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? the same

ii. thinner or fatter? fatter by a tiny bit

iii. richer or poorer? the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Things with friends, gone to clubs, gone to concerts, just gotten out of the house in general to have fun.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Be depressed. Though that’s like...a work in progress and obviously not something I could’ve just snapped right out of.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent Christmas with my mom as usual. After unwrapping gifts, we watched movies, and then I took a nap in the afternoon. It was a fun, mellow Christmas.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s?

Got high and chatted to friends online.

22. Did you fall in love in 2017?

Nah, barely even had any crushes.

23. How many one-night stands?

Still holding a lifetime total of zero.

24. What was your favorite TV program(s)?

Peaky Blinders!! And hockey, when my team does well.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Not really. I dislike people who I didn’t used to dislike, but I don’t hate them.

26. What was the best book you read?

Travels in Siberia by Ian Frazier

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I basically sucked at discovering new music, but Taylor Swift’s album was good.

28. What did you want and get?

To only have friendships with people I genuinely enjoy, and to cut those out of my life who I felt were just using me.

29. What did you want and not get?

A relationship. (3rd year in a row, same answer)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

ATOMIC BLONDE!!!!

31. What did you do on your birthday?

My birthday was literally two days after my last surgery, so I spent a lot of it just watching movies and sleeping.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Meeting my soulmate would’ve been super. Maybe next year! (Another answer I’ve had for 3 years now)

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

hipster professor (mainly fandom tees, cardigans, and skinny jeans)

34. What kept you sane?

My two best friends, fictional worlds for me to escape into.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston, Sofia Boutella

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Hating the shit out of Trump, does that count?

37. Who did you miss?

My old self who used to write a lot more.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I didn’t really meet a lot of new people but I did strengthen some friendships with people I’d grown apart from. 

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

That I need to validate myself instead of expecting other people to validate me. (This is still a work in progress)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

“I’m going to make it through this year if it kills me” – The Mountain Goats, ‘This Year’. (keeping this answer from last year)

[malvoliowithin]

Marley Rates Every Shakespearean Play*

Now that I have read every play by William Shakespeare* I think it’s time to do a rate of them all. Hold on to your horses, my friends, because this is probably going to get long. 

Tragedies:

Julius Caesar: 8/10 I liked this one better the second time I read it. I still think parts are a bit slow, and some of the inherent drama seems to take a weird pitfall after they actually kill Caesar, and then there’s the war that pops up out of nowhere and gives the plot a significant change midway through. Still, though, the dialogue? Perfect.  Antony and Cleopatra: 7/10 I liked this one worse the second time I read it. Antony and Cleopatra aren’t likable but their deaths are still upsetting and I really like the dynamics between most of the characters. Unfortunately this one suffers a bad case of ‘fifteen plot lines going on at once, also let’s go to Syria for Reasons’  Coriolanus: 6/10 This one starts off mega slow but gets considerably better later on. Points for the dialogue being so awkward at points that it’s amusing. Also points for being mega super obviously gay all over the place (even more so than most Shakespeare plays, honestly.) Romeo and Juliet: 6/10 I like the idea and presentation of this one but it’s so overrated that it tends to get old quickly. It’s good but it’s not that good. Also, Capulet isn’t given enough credit for being a terrible father. Awful. The worst. 0/10 for good parenting. Also, WHAT HAPPENED TO BENVOLIO. Macbeth: 7/10 high score for things like witches, pretty speeches, blood, ghosts, usurpations, and being short enough to not get tedious. Low score for “what, you egg” and “O, by whom?” Hamlet: 3/10 This one really sells the point of wanting you to feel for these characters but they’re all so angst-ridden that I do not. Okay mostly Hamlet. Actually, almost exclusively Hamlet, but he’s on stage ALL THE TIME and never shuts up. Ever. (Although notably I didn’t like anyone else in the play either.) Othello: 10/10 This play, of all the tragedies, hurts me the most. It might be the ONLY one that actually makes me feel a sense of tangible loss. Iago is brilliant and horrible, Othello is noble and the downfall of his character is painful to watch, Desdemona is wonderful and even the side characters like Cassio and Rodrigo are likable, even in their stupidity.  King Lear: 6/10 I WANT to like this one but Lear continues to not impress me and I don’t know why. I love Edmund, I love the sisters, heck I don’t even necessarily have anything against Lear. But I dunno. It just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe it’s cause I don’t care for Kent much. Titus Andronicus: 5/10 This one has to be read as a comedy to keep from being ridiculous because otherwise what in the fresh hell. You tried, William. You tried.  Timon of Athens: 1/10 “Why aren’t there more plays about financial problems?” asked no one ever. And here’s why! Okay, yes, it’s about a guy who loses his money to his sleazy friends so he curses society and goes to live in a cave. And while that’s #relatable, any play about money tends to get dry after about 15.5 seconds.  Histories:

Henry VI (part 1): 8/10 despite having almost no Henry and occasionally lapsing into weird moments like Mortimer dying and Excess of Talbot and Bedford being carried into the middle of the street whilst dying (?) it also has pretty awesome stuff like The French™ feat. Joan of Arc and Dunois, Talbot being cool, and the beginnings of the Wars of the Roses.  Henry VI (part 2): 6/10 This one was the least intelligible and most dry of the Henry VI plays in my opinion, but I need to reread it. I loved the Duchess of Gloucester, but the plot about the rebellion midway through came out of fucking nowhere and also went nowhere. It probably made sense if I knew the history but even after reading about Henry VI I still have no freaking idea what that was. Also, Margaret was pretty creepy in this one and I dunno.  Henry VI (part 3): 9/10 the best of the Henry VI plays, this one has the most coherent plot and starts to focus on character rather than circumstance. We get a clearer and more tragic view of Henry, Margaret becomes fully realized, York is in full swing and his sons are introduced and awesome. It’s still a bit cluttered but it really feels like Shakespeare hits his stride here and does it wonderfully. Richard III: 9/10 I love this damn play so much. It stops worrying about throwing in a ton of history details and Shakespeare just goes ‘screw it, let’s go for broke on character’ and MAN does he deliver. Richard III is without a doubt Shakespeare’s best antagonist and probably in the running for best character. Also, the ending. Extremely satisfying. Also painful. Also there’s murder in like every scene and who doesn’t love a good off-stage death? Richard II: 10/10 WHY DO MORE PEOPLE NOT KNOW OF THIS PLAY? You like amazing speeches? Check. You like ridiculous melodrama? Check. You like complicated, relatable tragic heroes? Check. You like crippling betrayal? well find a production that does that lmao but check I guess You like humor? Romance? Having your heart wrenched? Suspense? Intrigue? Existential crises? Gage throwing? Cameos of later famous characters (I see you, baby Hotspur) THEN GO WATCH THIS PLAY. GO. DO IT. DO IT NOW.  Henry IV (part 1): 8/10 Good shit: Hotspur. Falstaff. Hal’s arc. Henry’s crippling self-doubt over the overthrow and death of his cousin. The tension between Hal and King Henry. Hotspur’s “I’m gonna teach a bird to say Mortimer’s name and then give it to King Henry lmao” speech. Mortimer. Lady Mortimer! Bad shit: Excessive Falstaff? Hal being a jerkwaffle? Unnecessary use of Backstory that makes the play occasionally not make sense if you aren’t familiar with Richard II? Henry IV (part 2): 4/10 Basically just Part 1 except with the good bits taken out, and longer, and more boring. And Henry dies. A few good speeches but eh.  Henry V: 10/10 because Charles is in it. Yeah that’s right. I’m giving this play a 10 because it put a cameo of my son I’m nothing if not predictable. But also, it has Fluellen, and Henry being an Ambitious and Confident Young King who is Trying To Prove His Worth. And also, tennis ball and horse jokes because those are needed (and yes, they really are.) King John: 2/10 what the fuck. To expand: Death by Monk as an actual plot point. A character dies, and the Surprise! I Lived Bitch and then dies anyway? Also a king gets killed and no one talks about it. Also one character is named Richard and then his name is Philip and no one knows what to make of that so they just call him The Bastard. Lots of random offscreen dying, and (bad) plot twists. Have fun. Comedies:

All’s Well That Ends Well: 4/10 No, all is not well that ends well because this play ended well but it wasn’t good. It would have worked better if Bertram had just been gay and then him avoiding  his wife would have made more sense instead of him being a jerkass, also what the fuck Helena. DIVORCE HIM. I liked the Countess though she was cool.  Much Ado About Nothing: 7/10 Again with the WHAT THE FUCK DIVORCE HIM plotline except, Hero and Claudio. Beatrice was amazing though and so was Benedick. Not sure about Don John. Although, I guess having no motive except “I’m just a little shit who likes to make people sad” is kind of relatable in a sense, but he went to far. Dude, chill. A Midsummer Night’s Dream: 9/10 despite being overrated I love this play. I mean it doesn’t get much better than fairy divorce court being the root of everyone’s problems. It’s just such an utter cavalcade of ridiculousness and yet manages to make all the subplots weave nicely together unlike SOME plays (ie King John). Twelfth Night: 10/10 go look at my URL and then ask me why. But no, really, Twelfth Night is wonderful. I love every character, I love the plot and the subplots blend nicely, it has a nice emotional undertone and some dark themes to give it a bit of impact as you’re laughing at the antics of this group of beautiful idiots. I adore it.  The Comedy of Errors: 7/10 this play is just really, really funny. Like it’s kind of a stupid premise but it manages to make it work because it’s SO stupid that it’s awesome. It’s also maddeningly frustrating, which is the highest form of humor. Maybe.  The Merry Wives of Windsor: 5/10 FALSTAFF SPINOFF but actually pretty good. The added characters were cool and the cameos from Henry IV were nice to see. Mostly just hilarity. I don’t have a ton to say about this one, but it was enjoyable. The Taming of the Shrew: 4/10 I kind of feel bad for not hating this one as much as everyone else in the fandom does but I don’t totally hate this play. Yeah, it’s mad sexist. Yeah, it’s not particularly funny. But I thought the subplot with Bianca and Lucentio was cute, and I really liked Tranio in general.  As You Like It: 7/10 for cool foresty atmosphere, and having the ‘all the world’s a stage’ speech, and Touchstone, and crossdressing, and having a female character who actually had a ton of lines, and Evil Brothers. Minus 3 for OliverxCelia. Shakespeare what were you thinking. Also, he somehow managed to name two characters Jaques.  The Two Gentlemen of Verona: 5/10 Okay. PROTEUS IS THE WORST CHARACTER EVER AND I HATE HIM AND I WISH HE HAD DIED. WHAT THE FUCK. THAT WAS LIKE IAGO-LEVEL VILLAINY RIGHT THERE AND HE GOT FORGIVEN AND GOT OFF SCOT FREE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. THIS GUY MAKES CLAUDIO AND DEMETRIUS LOOK LIKE SAINTS. Also, doggy. On stage. Good puppy.  Love’s Labors Lost: 6/10 This would make more sense if it had about 10 fewer characters and more cohesiveness. But I actually liked it. The ending was nontraditional for a comedy, and some of the scenes were kind of funny and cute. 

Romances:

The Winter’s Tale: 7/10 Leontes is the worst. We can all agree on that. Does that stop me from crying when his statue-wife comes to life and forgives him? No it does not. Also, Time is a character and shows up which is... cool, and a little weird, but also cool. Also, RIP Antigonus.  The Tempest: 9/10 Monsters and magic and spirits and islands and BETRAYL and... a witch named Sycorax, and also Miranda being wonderful and having a lot of really nice lines about discovering the world for the first time. Good play. I’m enamored of Ariel from a character perspective.  Troilus and Cressida: 5/10 I wanted to like this one but... eh. It was all right. It was just kind of slow. You spend the whole play waiting for Hector and Ajax to fight and then it’s over and... well. Also the title couple felt like an awkward sideplot. I gotta say though, Thersites was great even though he was awful and a shithead. 

Etc. (you know the ones):

Measure for Measure: 8/10 I love the characters in this one and both Isabelle and Angelo give me feelings in different ways. It’s... not an easy plot to get comfortable with, and the dynamics and way it pans out eventually really hit home. That said, WHAT THE FUCK VINCENTIO. The Merchant of Venice: 3/10 Okay remember when I rated Timon of Athens and I said plays about finances were not a good idea? Well here we are again. This one was actually slightly better because it was more comprehensive, and Portia exists. Of course, there’s also the uncomfortable amount of anti-Semitism that makes one pause and wish this wasn’t happening. 

*Minus Cymbeline, Pericles, and Henry VIII which I haven’t read yet, but I’ll update when I’ve read them.

[snivystudies-blog]

“I’m not gonna pull an all-nighter this year,” you say as you set up your study space for the new semester.  “No, sir, new year, new me.  There will be no all-nighters this time around.” You remember the way your eyes burned and mind went into an emergency fog to preserve what little functions you had remaining as you churned out your closing argument around 5:30 AM.  This year will be different, you affirm as you scribble down important dates on your calendar, set up phone reminders, sticky tab your bujo, and plan out how you’re gonna break down major papers on a weekly basis.

You eventually start ignoring notifications, and those weekly paper to-do’s become devoted to more urgent assignments.  Hey, it happens.  You have time, you’ve got a month to go, this is doable in a month.  A month turns into a week, and then suddenly you’ve got a little over 24 hours left before it’s due and you’re stuck wondering how this happened.

Let’s be real, no matter how much you preemptively plan this out, you will likely pull an all-nighter for one class.  The key is to not freak out.  You got this, and I’m gonna show you how.

Step 1: Getting Ready

i) Spend a few minutes panicking.  Get it all out of your system before you get started.  You’re gonna wanna go totally zen for this, so make sure to do what you need to do to get there.  Cry for a bit, scream into a pillow, do a couple dozen pushups, plank for a few minutes, start a liveblogging chain on your studyblr...you do you.

ii) Get comfortable.  If comfortable for you is a chair and desk, get some cushions for the chair.  If comfortable is your bed, pile a bunch of pillows in the corner and lean back.  If comfortable is sitting in the lotus in the common room...do that.

iii) Get all your supplies: plug in your laptop, charge your phone, grab your textbook, get the assignment sheet out...you’re not moving for a while.

Step 2: The Hype

i) No coffee, no tea.  Not yet.  Go get one of the biggest containers of coke/pepsi you possibly can.  Like.  30 oz.  Make sure it’s cold, throw in some ice cubes, and chug that shit like you’re a frat boy doing a keg stand.  You’re gonna need as much caffeine as possible.

Step 3: The Body Building

i) You all likely know what your paper is about and you probably already have a couple sources lined up from when you had to hand in your approval forms.  This is good.  You have your thesis, you have a few starting sources.  

ii) Don’t do the intro first.  Why introduce something that doesn’t exist yet? Plug in your thesis up top and move on to your first paragraph.  You can do your intro at the end.  

iii) PPE isn’t going to work here.  Your paragraph should be more or less focused around one topic and should do the following: bring up the proof, discuss it for a bit, link it to another study (professor’s love it when you mention two studies together) and point out commonalities between them.  It makes your argument stronger.  Discuss why these studies are important, what’s the impact...why should we care, basically? How do these studies prove your thesis? Keep this up for all your body paragraphs.  If you can link topics between paragraphs, even better.

iv) On the topic of linking studies, if you can find a disparity, even better.  Explain why, despite them both proving your point, one has a hole in it.  For example, I did a paper on depression once and I found two articles: one that discussed the rates of depression between African-American and Caucasian students, and males and females within those two ethnicities.  This paper mostly focused on the socioeconomic factors surrounding the school community and how that affected them.  I found another paper that mentioned that one gender was more predisposed to experiencing depression than the other, and linked that to the first paper to help explain why it seemed like one of the genders, despite them being of different ethnicities, seemed to experience depression at a higher rate.  Build on this stuff.  

v) If you’re allowed to...use some stuff out of your class lectures.  This shows that you’re really understanding what you’re learning and you’re making real life connections.  Cite it, obviously, but...you get the point.

Step 4: The Sources

i) You’re pulling an all-nighter; you don’t have time to plow through twenty pages of academic jargon to see if it fits.  Time for you to employ the rush method: read the intro, the thesis, skip all the procedural stuff and the charts, and jump to the discussion bit.  This is the part that contains the ‘does this information help prove my point’ chunk of your paper.  If it does, scroll up and check out those charts.  Numbers will definitely help strengthen your argument.  Cite, and move on.  Repeat until you meet your minimum amount of sources.  I’d suggest grabbing an extra two or three sources so it makes it look like you spent a while researching.

ii) Generally speaking, avoid using papers older than you are.  Unless you really, really need it.

Step 5: The Conclusion

i) This is the easiest part.  Restate your thesis (differently, obviously) and mention the importance of this research.  

ii) MENTION FURTHER RESEARCH.  Explain what else kind of research can be done in this field.

iii) I always like to call this bit the mic-drop moment: this is the moment you’re completing everything.  You’ve been up 18 hours.  You’re exhausted.  This is your magnum opus.  Your clapback.  Your shutdown.  The line that has your professor waking up at 4 AM going ‘godDAMN that was so good’.  Write your concluding sentence.

iv) lmao syke, you have to go back and write your intro.  This should be easier.  Explain your topic, toss in your thesis, and tell the reader why you’re even doing this.  What’s the point.  Why this topic of all topics.  Again - why should we care?

Step 6: The Stuff You Should Be Doing In-between

i) Finish that coke before you touch the coffee.  No tea, that makes you sleepy.  Make sure your coffee is black and as bitter as possible.  You’re staying awake, not watching raindrops fall on a Sunday afternoon.

ii) Take a break every half hour.  Do some walking around.  Drink water.  Spend ten minutes watching a short vine compilation about school.  Don’t think about your paper for these few minutes.

iii) SNACKS.  Snacks are important, you need energy.  Eat some bananas, or cereal, or yoghurt.  Something filling and that’s likely gonna give you energy.  Crunchy is also good, but crunchy starts getting annoying around 4 AM when even your heartbeat is driving you nuts.

iv) Music.  No classical music, no studying music, nothing soft.  Hit up some EDM.  This should be loud and annoying enough to keep you from sleeping.  

v) Close your eyes for five minutes every hour or so.  Set an alarm.  

vi) Get up and stretch when your back starts hurting.  

vii) Give yourself a reward for every paragraph finished.  Eat candy.  Watch a short video.  You wanna motivate yourself.

Step 7: The Recovery

i) Hand in your paper and forget it ever existed.  Now it’s you time.

ii) If you’re anything like me, it will be close to lunchtime when you’re done.  Go get something to eat.  Treat yourself.  You can drink tea now.  Come back to your dorm and eat.

iii) Clean up your dorm, it’ll be a mess from the night before.  Make sure your bed has new sheets.

iv) Go take a hot bath.  Wash your hair.  Shave.  Brush your teeth.  Twice, cause that caffeine will have dried your mouth out.  This is self-care time.

v) Come back to your room.  Draw the drapes, shut off the lights, and sleep.  Sleep for 15 hours.  You earned it.

Step 8: Get Your Paper Back

i) Yikes, it’s a month later.  You’re panicking.  Go zen again.

ii) Open up blackboard.  Exhale.  Open that result.

iii) Oh shit, you got a 95, nice going!

Step 9: Promise to Never do that Again.

Step 10: Do It Again Next Year.

And this is the 10 step process that has continually given me high nineties and put me, bare minim, 20% over the class average.  This is more geared towards university and college students and research/academic papers, but I can do one for high school students and physical projects, if you guys want.  

[tanginae]

Modern!Tropang Nerds Headcannons, Part II

part I / III / IV

PLACIDO: 

His eyes are such a dark shade of brown that many people think they're black, but when the light hits 'em just right; it's breathtaking. His eyebags are from late nights studying. Has short eyelashes, but his eyebrows are the envy of everyone (#OnFleek bitch). His eyes burn with the ferocity of an inferno when he's mad; radiate warmth when he's happy, and become as cool as metal when he's indifferent. In short, they're pretty expressive

His nose is flat; which everyone notices since they can't look him in the eye in sheer fear

He has really plump lips, which explains why he loves biting on it so much. That's also the reason why it's so red all the god damn time

Lip biting is his nervous tick. When he's especially antsy, he doesn't notice he's drawn blood until someone tells him

He's got the whole Probinsyano charm about him

He tries to keep a rein over his emotions most of the time, but little slivers of emotion slip out once in a while. He never blushes because of kilig, instead, it's because he's pissed as fuck and you should probably book the fuck out of there

He doesn't own a planner, but this guy actually remembers every. single. god damn. thing he has to do

The type to do something even if he hates it, swallowing every complaint he has just as long as it doesn’t compromise his personal dignity

does a thing quickly just to get it done quickly 

Has probably read the entirety of a Terms & Conditions statement at least once

He sighs to express his emotions

He's smart and he knows it; which may slightly come off as arrogance to other people

But hey, he can walk the talk

Gets all philosophical at 2 am, when he's drunk (which rarely happens), when he reads a particularly good book, or when he's emotional

He carries his clothes really well and it drives everyone of every gender nuts, he can literally make anything look good

Hates public humiliation with a burning passion; it's probably the only thing that can make him cry

Actually really cares a lot about what other people say about him, and no matter how sneaky they are or how quiet their whispers were, he knows. He never retaliates though; only when the rumors hit below the belt

He's an esteemed person, so anything that shits on that is a definite no from him

He will literally argue with someone to no end when he's right and until he wins

Remember that one student in your class who won't stop pestering the teacher about a correction in a test? That's him.

Most likely to be a sore loser

Procrastinates like no other, but only because once he starts on something, he won't be able to stop

Momma's Boy™

Breaks down like any other normal student, probably more than anyone, but only when no one is around to see

Angry crier but he won't admit it

Has the patience of a saint but will turn into the fucking devil when that wears thin

Might have started a fist fight once but immediately regretted it after

Fucking Extra™ when he's mad as fuck, nobody is able to console him (his mother is the only person who can relatively take him down a notch, but it still isn't enough)

Has the tendency to lash out at anyone regardless of his relationship with them

Needs to walk his anger/bad mood off or else it'll literally wreck him and/or the people around him

That is also probably why he has an uncanny knowledge of side streets and shortcuts and is a Pro™ at navigation

He can and he will deck a person flat when he needs to

Lowkey turns to tsokolate (eh) to cheer him up on a bad day. Screw coffee, fuck tea. Tsokolate's the real deal

His smile can cure cancer, especially since it's so rare

No bf/gf, no problem

#AcadsB4Lakads

He's really interesting to talk to, especially since the topics range from the pettiest things to the deepest, most profound shit you’ve ever heard. He gets all deep and philosophical real quick, and it's like a different side of him no one's ever seen. You know he loves talking about it since he seems so much more relaxed and at ease

JUANITO:

Cannot take a goddamn hint

Since he's 25% Spanish (yes I still stand by this lmao), he has really light brown eyes that pretty much shocked the fuck out of Placido the first time he saw it, because holy hell are they pretty. Long and thick lashes frame them, making him look like he's perpetually wearing mascara and eyeliner. Very wide and expressive, always glinting with a hint of mischief. He closes his eyes when he plays the violin, feeling the music he's creating and just soaking it all up

His nose is the envy of most. Matangos eh lol

His upper lip is slightly thicker than his lower lip. He's perpetually smiling, so this tends to go unnoticed

His smile is either a literal ray of sunshine or a demon's grin right before he pulls you in. there's honestly no in-between

His laugh is ridiculously fucking loud (and annoying) but it's also pretty hilarious. It's the kind of laugh that's contagious and is often funnier than his jokes

When he laughs, he completely loses his shit. There's no holding him back, it all just explodes and gushes out of him

He's also the type to laugh during sex lmao

He always has this cunning, almost threatening look that makes the people who know about his pranks fear for their lives. It can only mean trouble

Also, his smile is slightly lopsided; which makes him look cheekier

But, it also adds to his charm

He reeks of money and privilege, but the only time he remotely manifests his rich boy status is when he treats Placido his friends to lunch or dinner or a midnight snack

A total "samahan mo 'ko, ililibre kita" person

Probably has a huge sweet tooth, which explains why he's so hyperactive all the damn time

Has a short attention span, and when he actually pays attention to something/someone it's because he's genuinely interested

It also comes as a shock to everyone when he pays attention

Rarely listens to crappy pop songs. He has an array of classical music, movie scores, and instrumental pieces in his playlist

His numerous connections make sure he gets around fairly easy

He's also really amiable, pranks aside. Everyone pretty much knows him

He knows everyone. From the lady at the store to the guard at the farthest building on campus, he knows them. By name.

Actually a huge gossip monger

He's the one who introduced Placido to Makaraig and the gang because he thought the dude needed more friends

Can pull off ridiculously elaborate and Extra™ pranks that otherwise might get him in huge trouble, but he manages to get away with it

A little insensitive

But, he can catch on when someone's feeling like shi t

He tries to cheer them up, but, Juanito being Juanito somehow ends up offending them in one way or another

Feels slightly trapped when he has to act all perfect son-ish for his dad

The fact that his father has so many expectations for him actually puts a lot of pressure on his shoulders, he just hates showing it

Wishes he had a sibling to split the pressure with (also to test his pranks on)

Music is his language. Whatever he wants to say, he says it through playing his violin. Sad? Happy? Mad? He plays. You can always tell what he's feeling by listening to his pieces

(if anyone was actually around to hear it)

Placido was, once. The rawness of the notes and the way the music seemed to be reaching into the deepest hollows of his soul freaked him out a bit, but he didn't say anything. He was surprised Juanito was capable of demonstrating other emotions and feelings rather than happiness. It made him see Juanito in a completely different light

When Juanito opened his eyes to see Placido standing there, he was pretty stunned himself. Placido was unaware of the fact that he was freaking out because holy shit he saw me someone saw me someone heard me what is he going to think now but he shrugged it off with an easy smile and a casual question: "So. Why are you here?"

Placido understood it was something Juanito didn't want to talk about, so he blinked at Juanito blankly as if his heart didn't just grow a soft spot for him. "I thought we were going to study?"

Placido couldn't help himself. "That was pretty good, by the way."

Juanito pretty much short-circuited then and there. He thanked every saint he knew Placido walked out of the room after that, because he wasn't able to see him go red all over, flushed as fuck with his fingers shaking as he tucked away his instrument 

i got carried away oops

he was forced to take Violin lessons as a kid, but he fell in love with it unexpectedly along the way 

Lowkey crushing on Placiding

Gets pretty lonely

Probably hasn't cried in the last 10 years, but when he does, he's a fucking mess. Definitely an ugly crier

[lolacism]

For the blograte - terra nova is such a cute show?? if u like Naomi Scott and dinosaurs and time travel and can be prepared to overlook some strange plots and other things it's rlly cute tbh. Happy new year!! Bands idk I like Naomi Scott, the script, imagine dragons & Bastille, & this year I'm hoping my dog stays happy and healthy and that I can do more to help people

i heard a lot about terra nova but i never got around to watching it? anything that involves time travel is totally for me though so thank you!! & another thank you for making me listen to naomi scott for the song rec’s sake because of this because i actually never had before but i ended up really liking her music? so i hope my song recs won’t be a complete mess instead ahah

vodka: german vodka / polish vodka / russian vodka / czech vodkabob’s burgers character: bob / linda / tina / gene / louise / crazy af mr fishoederold school crime show i love: quincy m.e. / murder she wrote / magnum p.i. / simon & simongr8 john travolta movie: saturday night fever / grease / look who’s talking / pulp fictionbook i love: lolita / tender is the night / pride & prejudice / the bell jar / transparent thingscancelled/concluded show: pushing daisies / desperate housewives / wicked city / the astronaut’s wives club / charmedmatt daddario quirk: calling a phone a ‘machine’ / knocking sunglasses off of an innocent cactus / being a real life snow white / cherishing cows more than any of uband i saw live & loved: we are scientists / the nbhd / mothxr / mumford & sons / pawsthe godfather character: michael / sonny / kay / vito / fredo / apolloniagr8 al pacino movie: the panic in needle park / the godfather / serpico / scarfaceour lord & saviour barry miller in: saturday night fever / fame / peggy sue got marriednicolas cage starring as: blonde cage / crazy cage / luscious hair cage / sexii hawaii shirt cage / stache cage

a compliment: ok so we haven’t really talked before so i’m sorry if this isn’t as randomly personal as the other rates so far but ??what can u do?? lmao. ANYWAY, as far as i can tell you seem like a really chill & really REALLY nice person!! i like your blog’s aesthetic and what you post, your taste in music as you’ve described it is absolutely lovely (bastille & imagine dragons own me) & your little about page was one of the kewlest things i’ve ever seen omg. PLUS you obvs love dogs and i love people who love dogs!! x

song rec: i. the brae — yumi zouma; ii. kismet kill — haley bonar; iii. selfish man — francis lung

good wishes for the new year spell: may you have the strength to help others as much as you desire to and to achieve everything you set your mind on! may happiness & health be your companion throughout the year and may it be yours to share both with your pure little doggie!! ♡

✨ let me hook you up as well here!! ✨