#that part of his song made me sob a few days ago while driving

[wastedpurity]

She lives inside three o’clock sunshowers

[yaravella]

More Than Anything Pt. 3 - Gepard Landau x Reader

Gepard Landau x Reader // pt. 3

Part 1, Part 2

content: f!reader, smut, mdni, nsfw

Synopsis: One day Serval brought you home and you have been a part of Gepard's life ever since. When he discovered he had feelings for you, it seemed it was too late.

Masterlist

Song mentioned: Bad Omens - Death of Peace of Mind

It was Saturday afternoon and for the first time after months, Gepard finally had the house for himself. Usually, Serval and her band will be flocking around the house because they’ll have practice from noon until early evening. And of course, that means you and your boyfriend will be here too so it’s the best choice for him to avoid going home. Today, he was free from all of that.  

After he watched your performance for the last time a few months ago, Gepard knew he was too deep in love with you to stay friends. The thought of you drove him crazy. The idea of not having you made him feel insane. He doesn’t even know he had this side of him, a toxic trait like this. Indeed, love is a death of peace of mind. 

He thanked Serval though, for not making any fuss about him keep skipping her performances. The first time he declined her invitation to watch her gigs, Serval just nodded her head and pat his arm. 

“Alright, brother. Just talk to me if something is bothering you.” She knew. After all, Gepard cannot hide anything from his sister. He felt bad for her, but he promised this won’t take too long. 

He didn’t expect it will be this hard to deal with whatever he felt for you but he knew he was going there. He is a man of determination after all. He muted all of your social media, he steer clear of you. If he saw Blade’s black Jeep parked in front of his house, he would drive away to somewhere else. Usually, he goes to Dunn’s bar. He gets a free drink from that guy though. Or he will just do some boxing training in the gym. Which is a great way to channel all of his emotions. 

The sound of punches hitting the sandbag could be heard from his room, echoing in the hallway. Sweat drips on his face, on his body, but Gepard is too focused to care. He kept hitting the sandbag as hard as he could. He found this is a good way to stop thinking. Stop thinking about you, or stop thinking in general. Sometimes, Blade’s face flashed in front of him though, right on the sandbag. It made him hit the sandbag harder. And when he ran out of energy and realized how silly and childish his thoughts are, he couldn't help but laugh in embarrassment.  

Gepard stopped his punches as he heard the sound of his doorbell rang. He wasn’t expecting anyone today, and Serval has her own key. Who is it? Gepard was about to ignore it, assuming it was probably some salesman selling shady items. But when the doorbell ring rapidly over and over again, he got pissed off. He grabbed the nearest t-shirt on the bed and stormed off to his front door, ready to put this rude visitor in his place. 

However, all of his anger melted down as he saw you in front of his door, alone, looking up at him with a distressed look. 

“Oh…” he breathed out your name, a name that tasted so foreign on his tongue but now he realized how much he missed saying it. He gulped nervously, analyzing your figure, your face. It’s really been a while since he saw you, and you’re still as beautiful as the last time he saw you, even without that hypnotizing smile that always greets him every time he saw you. All efforts he did to forget you went down the drain. 

“Umm… Is there… Is there something you need?”

He could see you were on the verge of crying. He didn’t know what to do.  

"Is… is Serval home?" your trembling voice sounds foreign to Gepard's ears. His jaw stiffened with worries. You were trying hard to hold back your tears, that much he knew. What the hell’s happening with you?  

"No, she hasn't come back," he said, "Are you alright?"

You sigh before giving him a smile, a fake one he notices, "Yeah, I'm alr-" a sob cut your sentence as you broke down into tears in front of him. 

"I'm sorry, Gepard. I'm not… May I… May-"

Not knowing what to do, he grabs your shoulders and invites you in, "Hey, hey, it's okay. Just let it all out," and you did as you naturally wrapped in his arm, crying your eyes out into his t-shirt. And now he’s suddenly aware he’s sweating like hell from his training. He probably smelled bad too. He just hoped you were too busy crying to notice. He also hoped you won’t notice the sound of his heart rapidly beating inside his ribcage by having you in his embrace. 

Gepard guided you to the loveseat in the living room area, the same seat he saw you the first time in your boyfriend’s arms. Here you are right now, crying in his arms. Life’s kind of funny, he thought. 

Gepard didn’t say anything much and let you cry as much as you want. He didn’t know what to say, except bunches of: “It’s okay, I’m here,” or, “It’s fine, just cry all you want,” anyway. But he made sure you felt safe in his arms. He brushed your hair and your back and embrace you tighter when your sobs got harder. 

It went on for more than half an hour, he figured out as he checked Serval’s steampunk-themed clock on the wall. He can feel the front of his t-shirt dampened by your tears. His body also started to go numb under your weight. However, he didn’t mind all that. Your crying had ceased but you still clutched the side of his t-shirt tightly, as if you were scared he will disappear once you let go. 

“Are you okay now?” he said softly, still brushing your hair. You slowly lifted your head, resting your chin on his chest as you gaze up at him with red puffy eyes. Your makeup was a bit messy, but you’re still pretty in his eyes. Even prettier now, somehow. Gepard felt sick realizing that he found you prettier after you cried. 

“Yeah…” you whispered with a croaky voice. 

“Care to tell me what happened?” he said, feeling his chest tighten once he saw your frown deepen. “It’s okay if you don’t want to-”

"Blade cheats on me…" you said softly he almost didn’t catch it. But he did and it made his blood boil. That fucking guy. He already got you and had the audacity to do that to you? Who the hell did he think he is? 

"He's stupid,” Gepard meant it, not only because he wanted to make you feel better. He wanted to say worse things about the other guy, but he held himself since he’s your boyfriend. Or ex, now? It looked like you were about to cry once more but you hold back. 

"Am I not beautiful enough, Gepard?" 

That’s a stupid question. You’re beautiful, especially when you were busy doing your own things. When you were singing and dancing. When you were writing lyrics on his kitchen island. When you were performing on the stage. You were stunning. You were beautiful. But you’re the most beautiful when you were smiling at him. He wanted to see you smile at him once more, and he would do anything for that. 

"He's just an ungrateful asshole," he said, cursing and thanking himself at the same time for not saying all that thought he had for you. “You are beautiful…” That sentence came softer, and feel almost like a whisper. He was feeling bold, even though he kind of regretted saying it since now you look at him in the eyes with an unreadable expression. This is probably the closest distance you had ever been from him. He can see all of your facial features better. He can see the smallest shift of expressions on your face. He can see your plump lips open up slightly before you speak. 

"Kiss me then."

It seemed he was not the only one who felt bold. Gepard thought you were messing with him. He studied your face, expecting you to burst out laughing, and said you were only joking. However, he found nothing in your eyes but desperation. Desperation to get any validation, anything to pick up the pieces of your crumbling heart, perhaps.

Before you can retract back what you say, Gepard captured your lips swiftly in his. Without hesitation. Probably an action he had so much confidence in doing after a while. It was a slow kiss. He made sure he memorized every inch of your mouth as his tongue made its way to dance languidly with yours. A soft moan slipped from your lips as he moved away to admire your face. 

“You are really beautiful,” he repeated, gently brushing your hair and tucking it behind your ear. He emphasized the word to make sure you really listen to him, to make all of your doubts disappear. Your face turned a bit red. That’s enough to make him kiss you once more, a little harder this time. 

Gepard lifted your body from the sofa to his lap. Following his lead, you straddled him, deepening the kiss as you circle your arms around his neck. He can’t help but grunt as he felt you bite his lower lips, tugging it a bit hard before you swipe your tongue softly on it. In response, he grabbed your butt and reposition you better on his lap. You probably felt his hard-on as you sit on it. But he doesn’t care. Maybe he wanted you to feel it. He wanted you to know that’s how much he wanted you. 

“Gepard…” you whispered out his name. Like a spell, a grunt left his throat as he grabbed the back of your neck, tilting so he can trail kisses on your skin. He kissed, licked, and sucked your skin until splotches of red appeared on it. 

“I think we should move to my room,” he said once he reluctantly pulled out from you, already missing the way you taste on his tongue. As far as he’d love to screw you on the loveseat, he probably can’t live a day after Serval walked in on him doing her best friend. 

As you get up from his lap, before you can process anything, Gepard already captured your lips in another heated kiss. While he did that he grabbed your thighs and picked you up like your weight was nothing, thanks for all the workouts he did. You immediately encircled your legs on his waist as you kiss him back, needy. 

He broke the kiss once you arrived in his room, throwing your weight on his bed. Gepard looked down at your figure, the situation slowly dawned on him. Here you were laying on his bed with a ragged breath, eyes locked with his, hazy with lust. Your fingers slowly moved to unbutton your shirt, one by one, eyes locked with his. He gulped as he saw your lacy baby blue bra revealed below your shirt. 

“Go ahead,” you said, teasing him. Gepard dropped his knees between your legs, once again locking his lips with yours. 

“Beautiful,” he growled between the kisses. He had fantasized about this moment several times in his sleepless nights, admiring you from head to toe, tracing every curve and line on your body. He thought the time would slow down as he memorize every inch of you. However, he couldn’t even form a coherent thought as he rained kisses from your jaw down to your chest, hands struggling to unclasp your bra. His mind was hazy as your hand made its way to his painfully hardened length. He grunted as he felt you stroke him through his boxer, slow and sensual at first before the pace fastened. 

“Feel good?” you purred in his ear. 

Asking for another validation, it seems, and Gepard willingly gave it to you by thrusting his hips to your hand and groaning deeply, anything to make you keep stroking him.

“Yes,” he voiced helplessly. Smiling in satisfaction, you push him away for a bit, much to his disappointment. However, his jaw almost dropped as he saw you pull down his boxer by the waistband, his hardened length immediately sprung free from its cage. 

“W-wait-” he shrieked in panic, looking down at you whose lips were dangerously close to the tip of his cock, “I haven’t showered.”

You only rolled your eyes in response, immediately licking his tip before putting half of his length in your mouth. Gepard felt his face turn hotter as he saw you skillfully run your tongue down and up his cock. You, who he thought he would have to forget today, were going down on him, sucking him, moaning with nothing but a pair of skinny black jeans. Probably the same skinny jeans the last time he saw you performing in for the last time. Gepard gritted his teeth nervously, still worrying about the fact that he was probably sweaty down there. But when you try to take all of his lengths down to your throat, he can’t hold out the loud grunt that left his mouth as he threw his head back. 

“Oh, fuck-” he hissed, hand immediately going on top of your head. Gepard grabbed a handful of your hair as he fucked your throat in and out. Your mouth felt so warm around him, felt so fucking good. You were nothing like his imagination. You were better. 

This is it. This is his reward for being a saint, for being patient in enduring all the torture you gave him for the past few months. For enduring all the time he saw you embracing and kissing your fucking boyfriend. Now here you are, looking up at him with teary eyes with his cock deep in your mouth. 

Gepard pulled your head back as he felt the fuzzy feeling inside his stomach start to intensify. There's no way he's going to end this so soon. Not until he was buried deep inside your pussy. 

“Pants off,” He commanded as he started to strip himself out of his boxer and t-shirt. Suddenly feeling like taking charge. Probably from the amazing head you just gave him. Your lips looped into a teasing smile, but you obeyed him immediately, tugging and pulling both your panties and skinny jeans off at the same time.

Fully stripped, Gepard trapped your naked form beneath his body, taking you into another hasty make-out session. His hand worked toward your wet pussy, rubbing around to find your clit before flicking it gently. A sweet moan erupted from you, fueling Gepard to rub it even faster. 

"Gepard," you breathed into his mouth, fingers pressing hard on his arms, "I need you."

Something he had been dying to hear after all this time. He could only imagine it before, not even in this kind of situation. But this had to be the perfect situation to hear it. 

He bit your lips and tugged it passionately before he pulled away from the kiss to grab his cock and aligned it with your pussy. His cock twitched as he rubbed it on your wet labia. He couldn't wait to be buried deep in you, but Gepard was hesitant since he probably didn't prepare you long enough. And he didn't have a condom with him now.

"Hurry," you moaned, whined, looking at him in desperation. Spreading your legs wide to invite him.

That's all it took for him to push the head of his cock to your entrance. Fuck it, he'll just pull out later, he thought, feeling a sudden rush of thrill in his stomach. Slowly thrusting in, Gepard growled at the sensation of being in your pussy. Maybe it was from all the pent-up sexual desire he had for you, or maybe because your pussy is just really tight and slippery, it was nothing like he had imagined before. He almost thanked Blade for cheating on you and leading him to have experienced all of this with you. Almost, because you still didn't deserve it. But fuck, your pussy is warm and tender as it sucked and clenched on his cock. So thanks, Blade. 

"Fuck…" he breathed, hissing as he pulled in and out of you. Fast at first but then pistoning slow and hard to prolong the sensation of you clasping around him. Your eyebrows creased as you let out a loud moan when he thrust hard in, once, twice. He must be hitting your sweet spot.

Gepard took one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking and licking it gently. You mewled in pleasure as a response, hips moving following his motion. Seems like he's not the only one who wasn't patient to reach your high. Your hips started to buck with more urgency as he circled the bud of his fingers once again on your hardened clit to help you get off faster. 

"Kiss me," you begged and he leaned down to slip his tongue in your mouth, immediately caught by yours hungrily. Gepard himself started to feel like he was about to lose it. He was seeing stars on the back of his head as he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of your tongue on his, of your slippery wall around him. 

But his pride wouldn't allow him to finish before you. So when he felt your body tense and slowed down, he felt relieved and immediately pulled out of you, splattering cums on your chest and stomach. He pumped himself a few times to milk himself dry, eyes gazing at your body, beautifully covered in cum. Once the last drop fell on your lower belly, Gepard let out a loud sigh and threw his head back.

"That was amazing," he heard you saying. Opening his eyes, he saw you close your eyes with a peaceful smile on your face. Not a sight of evidence that you've been crying over your asshole ex-boyfriend. 

He hovered on top of you, bracing his weight on both his forearms to give your lips pecks. You smiled on his lips, kissing him back. 

"Thank you, Gepard," you breathed, looking at him with pure affection, shifting something in him. As much as his mind wanted to tell him to assess this situation more, Gepard can't think of one negative outcome of this situation. He just knew from that moment, he wanted to make you happy. He wanted to prove that he isn't someone like your ex-boyfriend. That for all this time, all you needed is him.

A/N: Forgive me if I made several mistakes because this is my first lengthy smut :"D Boxing Gepard is inspired by the way he punches destructible items. Something shifted in me when I saw him violently punch them...

Me, next, Gepard... Stealing this from Twitter because I don't have himmm aaaaarghhh Gepard pls come home ;_____;

Anyway, I hope whoever read this enjoyed it~~~

[marvelous-slut]

Trash - Tig Trager x Clays Daughter!Reader

WARNINGS: minors DNI, 18+, female receiving, unprotected sex, implied age gap but doesn’t really mention it, reader is of age & in mid 20’s, I write these on an iPhone btw so honestly if something is spelled wrong or a word seems funny I blame auto correct cause I’m not a big proof reader

I have an idea for a part two already but I need to write this filthy part to the story so enjoy. The song Trash by Korn gave me the idea to write this, but probably would be seen more in part two.

It had been a rough shift at the hospital, you decided to pay a visit to your dad, Clay Morrow at the club house, the plus side was you could drink your frustrations away. Being a nurse and being involved in your fathers corruption & illegal acts was mentally draining at times, today that had hit hard. One of the patients who had come in to the ER had took a toll on you, you knew your father and the MC were behind the mans injuries. Trying to keep your morals to help others and your love to your father and some of the men you had grew up around destroyed you at times, The rain was pouring down, trying to avoid getting soaked while coming in was nearly impossible. It was a quiet night at the club house, a few crow eaters surrounded Happy, Tig, Chibs & Bobby. Juice was already passed out asleep on the couch. You assumed Jax & Opie were at home with their wives. Your father was no where to be found.

“Hey sweetheart, what brings you in so late?” Chibs asked, motioning the crow eater away from him. It was 12 at night, of course you were supposed to be off at 7 but had to fill in for a call in.

“Long day. Dad here?”

“No darling, him and Gemma left about an hour ago.” You let out a deep sigh. Throwing your bag to the empty bar stool.

“Thanks anyways.” You made your way to the bar and got the prospect to get you a drink. Placing your head into your hands, trying to hold back tears. Frustrated and sad we’re the only words you could think of that could describe how you felt. Beginning to get deep into thought, they were interrupted by a chair sliding beside of you. You looked up to see Tig, his blue eyes meeting your tear filled eyes.

“You okay?” He asks, sitting beside of you, taking a sip of his beer.

“Yeah. I’m good.” You cough out, pushing back the tears.

“Those tears in your eyes say different doll. What’s going on? Did someone hurt you?” You chuckle, taking a sip of your drink and placing it down gently.

“Yeah, my dad. This life. What’s new.” You grab a pack of smokes that sat on the bar, lighting it up and taking a deep drag. “Tig, how do you guys do this? I mean how do you guys get to decide who is supposed to die? Why does my dad get to play judge, jury and executioner?” He sighs and places a hand on your shoulder.

“You know there’s reasons for all of this.” He already knew what you were upset about, thinking about today’s attack. “We do what we got to do to protect the club.” You wipe the tears from your face.

“I got to go.” You let out, Tig grabs your hand and pulls you back.

“Just stay, you’re not in a good mind set to be our driving around.” He knew if you left you’d go straight to Clays and give him a piece of your mind. Although Gemma helped raise you, she also would do whatever she could to protect Clay and if that meant throwing a few punches your way she had no issues with that. Your small tears turned into a full on sobbing session. “Come on doll.” He says, dragging you away from the bar to avoid the crow eaters and the rest of the MC staring at you. He takes you to his dorm and shut the door. He knew if Clay knew you were in his dorm, he’d be a dead man. Tig couldn’t help it, a lot of people saw him as an opportunist on women who were broken but he didn’t see you that way. He cared for you, you were part of his life and although he loved Clay and respected him dearly, he loved you more and cared for you more.

“I’m sorry Tig. I didn’t mean to have a melt down. When I decided to be a nurse it was cause of all the bad shit I’ve seen my dad do through these years, not cause I wanted to be in the ER and them bringing in his work. I thought maybe if I helped save people’s lives, it would even out for all the shit he’s done. Instead, it’s like I have a duty to protect him and the MC or save lives. I have to step away from so many cases cause I know it’s him and the MC who have done it. I don’t know if they deserve it and I don’t care, I signed up to save people.” Tig sighs, sitting down beside of you on the bed.

“You’ve got a beautiful soul dear. Too beautiful to be crying and too beautiful to keep getting your heart broken over your dad and our shit.” He places his hand on your thigh.

“I just can’t walk away. I love Clay, I love you guys. It’s just hard to find a balance between both. If there’s even such a thing as balance with this.” You look up, meeting his eyes. He moves the hand that caressed your thigh to your face, wiping a tear away and pushing your hair behind your ear. Before you can think twice, you land your lips onto his. Tig knows it’s wrong and he knows he’d be laying in a unmarked grave if Clay knew anything about this.

But Clay wasn’t here and you were. He loved you, more than Clay, so he kept kissing you. He did more than that, he moved his hands to the bottom of your shirt, tugging at it. Silently begging you to rip it off. You lift your arms and he slides it over your body, tossing it to the side.

“Jesus. You’re beautiful.” You push him back onto the bed, standing up to shred your remaining clothes and he follows your lead. He sits back up and you’re on your knees in-front of him. He pulls you back up, flipping you onto the back of the bed.

“No doll. You’re hurting, you let me take care of you tonight.” His warm lips kiss down your body to your wet core. He pauses, looking up at you.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” You giggle and he comes undone inside.

“Alex, just make me forget everything, please.” He doesn’t need anymore reassurance, he slides a finger into you, causing you to let out a moan, he takes this as a sign to add another and does so. He adds his tongue, making you let out a noise that could put any porn star to shame.

“Darling, as much as I love hearing you make those noises, you gotta stay quiet.” He goes back to your throbbing cunt, doing his work. He was slightly shocked at himself, it had been a long time since he had went down on a woman. He had gotten used to the crow eaters sucking his dick and expecting nothing in return. He wanted you to feel good, to forget everything that had happened today. By the way you had a death grip on his sheets, forcing back the moans he figured that he was doing a good job. You tug at his hair, begging him to come up to you and he does. He wasn’t used to this either, usually it was just him getting his dick sucked and fucking someone from behind and sending them on their way. It was more intimate with you and he loved it.

“Tig, I need you.” He doesn’t ask questions, he reaches for his bed side table to grab a condom, but you pull him back. “Don’t worry about it.” He’s basically a mess at this point, not what he was used to. He slides into you slowly, making sure you were okay. Your body jolts, it had been awhile since you had a man near you like this, and Tig was bigger than the average man.

“Jesus. You’re so fucking tight. Are you okay?” He asks, he felt like a virgin again. Trying not to come so quick. You just pull him down for a kiss, unable to think or speak at this moment, this lets him know to start moving.

“Oh my god.” You let out softly as your eyes roll back. He starts a steady pace in fucking you. You turn your head, but he turns you back to look at him.

“I wanna see you doll.” He breathes out, his lips attacking your neck, careful not to leave any marks on your delicate skin. Making sure no one has evidence of him fucking you. The feeling of him inside of you is better than anything you’ve felt in your entire life. He is slow and takes his time, making sure you know he is there to pleasure you.

“Alex,” The sound of his real name being purred out by your sweet lips is enough to make him go insane. You can’t even finish your sentence before you begin biting back an orgasm. “Oh my God.” He places a hand over your mouth, softly but enough to make sure you don’t scream out.

“Let it go doll.” The words are enough to send you over the edge, seeing your eyes roll back and force shut are enough to send him there as well.

“Fuck.” He shakily exhales, letting himself spill into you. After this he collapses beside you. He stares at the ceiling for a minute, realizing what he’s done. Silently praying to whoever is up there that this never left his room. Praying that the rest of the MC was too busy with the crow eaters or passed out drunk to know what just happened. You on the other hand had no regrets, had no care in the world of if your dad found out that his daughter was fucking what was supposed to be his right hand man. You sit up, finding your clothes, gathering them in your arms. You wanted to blame the words you let out on the high you just got from sex, but you knew it wasn’t from that.

“I love you Tig.” You turn to go to the bathroom, to hide the redness that flushed your cheeks from that sentence. Once the door is shut, Tig runs a hand through his hair.

“Fuck me.”

[charleslee-valentine]

Bobby gets back on the bus from ‘Nam a week or so later than the other soldiers in his unit. They kept him in the hospital a while, doing surgeries on his head and rebuilding his skull out of metal.

There was one part of him he couldn’t get back though. Not ever.

He’d heard the news about Nubbins through a postcard for some roadside attraction they’d killed the owners of years ago to drive out competition. Written on the back in scrawly writing, they made it clear as day- “Your brother is dead.”

Not that he believed it. Nubbins wouldn’t leave him. They promised as kids not to die without the other.

He’s still in his uniform, still stained with his own blood, when he storms upstairs to their old shared room.

“Robert Sawyer don’t you dare defy me! Get your skinny ass back here!” Drayton called after him, maybe trying to protect him.

He hadn’t listened.

They kept Nubbins. They even put a little over shirt on him so he wouldn’t get cold. And Bubbas keeping him company and everything! It’s like nothings wrong at all.

Bubba cries as he holds him. Weeps and shakes and blabbers on and on.

Bobby doesn’t move away from the doorway yet. He just doesn’t wanna spook his little brother.

“He-Hey Bubba.. N-Nubs.”

His Bubba looks up at him, and there’s tears in those big eyes. It reminds him of when they were little, and Bubba was just getting real good at walking, when he’d tripped and skinned up his hands and his knees.

The only difference is back then Nubbins had been the one to pick Bubba up and make him giggle by blowing a little raspberry on his cheek or telling him something silly, bringing the light back to their toddler brother's face.

This time, Bubba carries Nubbins. And Nubbins just stares. He lifts him up real gentle-like, and places him in Bobby’s arms.

Up close, Bobby can see the places they stitched and mended on his brother. Metal ties and staples keep his joints together in some places.

But he’s together! So the shape he’s in, he’s practically okay! Bobby expected worse when he heard he got hit by one of those big rig trucks. In his mind, his twin was just a pile of gore and bones, all the stuff they never use in their cooking.

Bobby helps Nubbins to stand up, ignoring Bubba's panicked noises, and just keeping his hands under his brother's armpits to keep him from crumbling down onto the ground.

His jaw is broken, held together by a couple of stitches, so Bobby does the talking for him, “What-What’chu cryin’ ‘b-bout?”

Bubba sobs and makes more of his whimpery little noises in response, showing the subject of his panic by grabbing Nubbins by his shoulders and just shaking. Rattling his loosely strung together bones and making just the sickest crunching noise.

Well, he always was a little scrawny. It makes Bobby smile just a little to see his brothers haven’t changed all that much.

He even helps Nubbins raise up his stiff hand and wipe away the tears under Bubba's mask with them, “I-It’s o..k-kay! Your b-big brothers a-are here!”

Bubba still looks skeptical, so Bobby does the only thing he can think of and initiates a group hug. First he hugs their little brother, then gives Nubbins a little push forward. Instantly Bubba squeezes them back, his sobs turned to quiet sniffles, comforted in his big brothers’ arms.

All these big emotions and feelings are enough that Bobby could just sing! So he does. He belts some lines of an old Sly song that’s a few years old by now.

“It’s a family affair, oh..! Blood out there, blood out there!!”

“N-Nubbins sing the-the backup!!” He encourages his twin to join, holding up his cracked jaw and bobbling his head back and forth for him while he sings the words in echo, again in that slightly different pitch he uses to speak for Nubbins.

That part even gets Bubba to giggle a little. Just like when they were young and the only way they could get the baby to smile was to play together. No fighting, no yelling, no calling names and tearing hair out and throwing punches.

Call him a hippie, but that inspires something in Bobby’s heart. Makes him feel some genuine affection, “Let’s..Let’s all p-promise right n-now! No more l-leavin’ each other. Not for n-nothin’!”

To seal the deal, he holds out his shaky hand, leaving only his pinky finger up. Bubba instantly locks his larger finger around Bobby’s, and together, they help unfurl Nubbins’ hand, slow so they don’t bust any of the patch jobs, and have him join in the pinky promise.

Everything will be fine now.

Nubbins wasn’t really gone. They’d always have him. So what if he needed a little extra help to get by? He always had, and so did Bubba. Bobby didn’t mind taking care of them.

That’s what brothers are for.

[unresolved-kpop-thirst]

happy trails

pairing - yuta x reader

genre - smut, lil fluffy

contains - dom Yuta, chubby f!reader, outdoor sex, breeding kink, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 you tap it fr), D/s, fingering, some body love/praise

wordcount: 1.7k

summary: hiking in the woods and getting it on in the great outdoors like nature intended.

-

"Can we take a quick break?" You ask, doubling over to brace yourself on your thighs for a quick second. You didn't recall this hiking trail being this hard, and you were evidently not prepared for the steeper slopes in the second half.

"We're not too far from the point where it's all downhill," Yuta reassures you, retracing his steps and offering you a bottle of water. Seeing how out of breath you are, he smiles sympathetically. "But we can stop a while here."

"Thanks." You take a swig of water. It's not like it's too tough, you're just a bit out of shape from a whole ass quarantine spent mostly indoors. Yuta seems unbothered, but he had kept up dancing while the world was shut down so it's no surprise he's lost very little athletic ability in comparison.

This trail usually is a cinch for both of you, more for relaxed sightseeing than a challenging hike. You lament your lack of fitness and find a spot to sit and rest amongst the roots of trees lining the dirt path.

"Ugh, I'm in worse shape than I thought," you admit. Yuta crouches in front of you, elbows resting on his knees.

"It's not that bad," he reassures you. "A year of being a couch potato doesn't look too bad on you." He pokes your cheek and you bat at his hand.

"I know full well how you feel about it," you say, narrowing your eyes. He smiles, angelic, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Last night he had squeezed your hips, your thighs, where you've become softer in your sedentary lifestyle, and described in detail how good you felt under his hands. He had surprised you a bit with his enthusiasm for your rounder, softer body, but then you had a sneaking suspicion he would like any type of body as long as it was yours.

That said, the aforementioned enthusiasm was part of why you were struggling today; your inner thighs had taken a battering from his hips and you rode him for nearly an hour, making up for lost time. You'd had better ideas in your life than hiking after a session like that, but the way Yuta always lit up in nature swayed you to go anyway.

He rocks forward, falling onto his knees, and nudges your legs apart with his hands sliding up your bare thighs to the hem of your shorts. You glance up and down the trail. You're not well hidden, but you can't see anyone.

"Yuta~" you sing-song, patting his head. "Whatcha doing?"

"I just missed you," he says, smiling brightly. He shifts to grasp the back of your thighs where they meet you butt, a ticklish spot that makes you squirm.

"We spent all yesterday together," you remind him, "and I'm here now."

"Mmhm," he agrees, kissing your inner thigh. "So I want to touch you more."

"Maybe somewhere a little more hidden?" You suggest, making him grin as you grab his hand and you both stand up, you leading further into the trees.

It's a warm, bright day, and the long undisturbed forest shelters you from the direct sun. Still, when you find a spot well hidden from the path and turn to Yuta, the dappled light on his face is so pretty you have to kiss him.

He cups the back of your head with one hand, the other resting on your waist, and despite what you said moments ago you sigh in relief now you're getting to kiss him again. It really was too long; your body missed him just as much as your heart did. He slowly presses you back until your back hits the trunk of a broad tree, then tugs your hair gently to change the angle and deepen the kiss.

When you run the tip of your tongue along his lip he opens to you eagerly. Just kissing him excites your instincts, a pulse of heat building in your lower stomach. His fingers dig into the soft give of your hip, making you let out a soft, encouraging little sound. His tongue explores your mouth, re-mapping you, claiming ownership, eliciting faint whimpers and moans until his hand glides down your stomach and slips under your shorts.

He finds your clit, skimming over it with his fingertips before pinching it between the pads of his fingers and rolling it between them, and you can't help the needy sounds that leave you or the way you arch up against him, greedy for his hands all over you, his lips on yours. You can only whine in disappointment when he breaks the kiss to look at you.

"Cutie," he says, but it sounds like you're getting a telling off. "You can't be so noisy. What if someone hears you?"

On the contrary, that spikes another sound from you, a startled little cry while he continues playing with your clit.

"I forgot, that's not a problem for you, is it?" He goes on, tucking his tongue into his cheek for a second to suppress a smile. "You like when people watch. When they hear how well I fuck you, the pretty noises you make with me inside you."

You nod mindlessly, his continued attention and his words twisting up inside you, making you clench down around nothing, a gnawing need growing in the pit of your stomach.

"You want me inside, don't you, baby?" He asks, a hint of pity in his voice, and you give him the puppy eyes.

"Mmhm," you respond, taking his wrist gently in your hand and tugging him closer. "I want your fingers inside me, puppy, please?"

The use of your affectionate nickname for him makes him smile warmly, before he slides a finger into your slit. You roll your hips, pulling him deeper and giving an encouraging moan, and then a squeak of surprise when his other hand presses firmly over your mouth. You blink up at him.

"Be quiet," he warns. You nod dumbly. As he starts moving his finger inside you your sounds are muffled against his hand, and you cling tightly to him. He crooks his finger against your g-spot, makes you yelp and buck your hips forward, before he surges forward and presses you into the tree trunk, pinning you there and assaulting that spot inside you until your cunt tightens down around him. "Cum for me. Right now."

You can only obey, a flush of heat rolling over your skin, the tension breaking and your muscles fluttering around him as you cum with a muffled whimper.

He pulls out, manhandling you until you're pressed face-first against the tree and he unfastens your shorts and pulls them down to your knees. "You want your puppy to use you, baby? Use his favourite little toy?"

You gasp as you feel the head of his cock press at your entrance from behind, slipping in your slick, stretching you already as it pushes an inch into your needy cunt. "Y-yes- please use me, I wanna make puppy feel good..."

He drives his cock into you with a firm shove, bottoming out with his hips against yours, growling low against the back of your neck when you gasp and moan at the way he stretches your cunt mercilessly with his girth.

"Feel that?" He asks, grinding into you, and your body allows him entrance, moulding to the shape of him while you whimper from the sheer pleasure. "You made your puppy so hard. You're such a good little toy. I'm gonna breed my pretty toy now, fill you up with cum."

You push back against him and feel his arms come around you, one hand grasping your shoulder and the other on your neck. Then he draws his hips back, slamming back into you to elicit a choked groan. The full force of his thrusts borders on painful, but your pussy clenches and drips around him, serving its purpose as a tight, wet hole for him to use to get off.

"You're squeezing me so tight, baby," Yuta pants. "It feels that good? You like getting your pretty little cunt pounded like that?"

Between his hand on your neck and your barely muffled cries, there's no way you could start to respond. You nearly sob as he brings you to another mind shattering climax, upping his pace as you clamp down around him.

"God, I love feeling my little toy cum on my cock. Makes me wanna breed you." You cry out, feeling him pulse and grow harder inside you, his deep thrusts turning your mind and your legs to jelly.

"Yes, please," you choke out. "Fuck me full of your cum, I'm yours, all yours, puppy."

He growls, movements verging on feral, his nails digging your shoulder as he rails you for all you're worth. His other hand goes tight, cutting off your sounds and your air supply, and you grit your teeth, another orgasm ripping through you before he shoves deep, giving a few short and sharp thrusts and filling your insides with his seed.

You tap frantically at his wrist and he releases you, letting you heave in a few deep breaths and get yourself under control. Yuta rubs his cheek against the back of your neck, almost like he's scent marking you.

"Ugh," he groans. "You drive me crazy. You know you do, right?"

You laugh breathlessly. "I kind of gathered."

He laughs with you, his arms around you turning into an affectionate back hug as he softens inside you. You sigh, content, but aware you can't stay like this forever. Eventually, Yuta gives a brief warning before pulling out, his cum dripping out and down your inner thighs, sending a hot shiver through your body. He pulls your shorts back up, your panties getting soaked from the mess he left, making you squirm.

"Yuta," you whine, "that's gross."

He leans in, kissing your cheek and jaw. "If you prefer, next time I'll gather it up on my fingers and feed it to you." You squeak, both mortified and weirdly turned on at the image. He chuckles. "But this time my little toy gets to walk home proud to be soaked in my cum. Okay?"

Dizzy and sub-spaced, you nod obediently, and he pats your head.

"Good. We've only got about a quarter of the trail left. Let's go."

[imjustwritingg]

your love lifts me up (when i’m down, down, down)

Hi friends! That season finale was absolutely insane and I am still not over it, but here’s a continuation of it because Hailey deserves better and because I love Upstead and hate Hank Voight. The title is from the song "Helium" by SIA. Enjoy and let me know what you think! 

Read on AO3 and FFNet!

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your love lifts me up like helium

your love lifts me up when I'm down, down, down

when I've hit the ground

you’re all I need

‘cause your love lifts me up like helium

“I’m serious. Let’s get married.”

His immediate thought is complete and utter happiness as the words tumble from her lips and a smile quirks at the corner of his mouth, his eyes staring into hers with such love and affection.

His second thought is concern. Because as much as he may want to spend the rest of his life with the woman standing in front of him, she stands there with teary eyes and a familiar look on her face that reminds him of not too long ago that had him reassuring her he wasn’t going anywhere.

“What happened Hailey?” He finds himself asking.

“What do you mean?”

“You came in here seeming not like yourself and you just said we should get married. Not that I’m opposed to that with you, but it’s a little out of left field for you. You seem scared about something and it’s kinda freaking me out a little so just tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going on. I just - I just want you. I - I don’t wanna wait.”

He takes a fraction of a step toward her, squeezing her arms gently and looking at her with the same soft expression he always has for her. “Hailey, I would marry you tomorrow, right now, if that’s what I thought you really wanted, but there’s something that you’re not telling me. I can see it in your eyes. It’s all over your face. And normally I’d let it go and give you your space to figure out whatever it is that you need to figure out, but I’m really worried here so just tell me.”

She shakes her head, somehow able to hold back the tears she has in her eyes as she stares back at him. If she were being honest, she wasn’t expecting him to say yes, that they’d suddenly be engaged or running off to City Hall the next morning for some shotgun courtroom ceremony.

The way he looks at her tells her as much, that he won’t let it go, and she can’t blame him considering the bomb she just dropped on him, but she couldn’t help it. She’d been so deep inside her thoughts and reeling from the events of the day and the night. The thought of losing him snuck into her head far too quickly and sent her into a panic and she just blurted it out.

Maybe she should have thought this through a bit more before proposing to him on a whim in the middle of her living room. She’d surprised even herself as the words fell from her lips. The idea of marriage should terrify her given the fact that the only example of it she has is her parents. But the idea of marrying him, her partner, her best friend - it sends an undeniably wonderful ache through her, like she needs it. She needs him. She’s never needed anyone in her entire life. Not her parents or friends or ex-boyfriends and past lovers. But she needs him.

“I don’t know why I said it,” she breathes out then. “I just, I saw you standing there and I thought about Kim and everything that’s happened and I - I don’t know.“

“I think that’s only part of it,” he says quietly, carefully. “Tell me why else.”

She knows exactly why else. What else. Who else. And it sends another ache rushing through her, but this one goes straight to her stomach and she swallows back the feeling of needing to gag that rises at the back of her throat.

“Can we go see Kim first?” She asks suddenly.

“Hailey - “

“Please? Let’s go to the hospital and see how she’s doing, and then we can come back here and we’ll talk. I promise.”

She says it in one breath, hurried and eyes pleading. She just needs more time. Time with him before she tells him everything that happened. Before she loses the one thing that means everything to her.

“Okay,” he sighs before jutting his chin to the bathroom behind her. “You wanna take a shower and change first or just head over?”

Hailey nods, taking a step back. “Give me fifteen minutes. I’ll be quick.”

She pulls herself away from him and heads into her bedroom, his eyes following her with more worry than before as she closes the door behind her.

She takes a deep breath as she stands in the middle of her bedroom, trying to calm her too fast beating heart until her eyes land on a basket of laundry on the floor by the dresser. Her clothes, his clothes, mixed together. And then her eyes scour the rest of the room. A pair of his boots sitting on the floor beneath the window. One of his watches and a phone charger on the nightstand at the side of the bed. His side of the bed.

She shakes her head at the sight of all these things, his things, and pulls off her jacket. She tosses it to the bed before making her way into the bathroom and closes the door that leads out to the living room.

When she turns back around it’s only a few seconds before her heart seizes again as she glances to the sink. His toothbrush in the holder beside hers. A bottle of his cologne on the other side of the faucet, one of her favorite smells that is so distinctly him. She turns her head to the shower stall at the bottles of products that don’t belong to her.

He’s made himself at home in her space, engraved his presence in the place she had once kept so private and guarded. A space that had quickly become theirs.

She feels the tears burning in the corners of her eyes again and her bottom lip begins to tremble as she realizes this may be it. This may be the last time she sees their lives so intimately twined together and it breaks something inside of her. Cracks her open so quickly and makes the pool of tears spill over and fall down her face.

She wipes under her eyes with one hand and covers her mouth with the other, muffling the painful sob that falls out as she becomes overwhelmed with frustration and despair over the fact that she knows she won’t come back from this. Losing Jay. Losing them. She is sure he’s going to hate her. He’s going to become so disgusted with her, he’s going to leave when she tells him and she knows she can’t not tell him.

The only thing she can do is bask in denial and hold off the heartache that she’s sure will come for a few more hours. She can pretend that everything is fine, that she hasn’t crossed a line she can’t come back from despite being pulled across it involuntarily by her Sergeant. They can still be them for just a little while longer.

She turns on her heel and leaves the bathroom, wiping under her eyes again and grabbing her jacket from the bed before pulling open the door of her bedroom. Jay looks up at her from the couch, his phone in hand, and raises an eyebrow at her and the clothes she hasn’t changed out of yet.

“Let’s just go to the hospital now,” Hailey says, slipping her arms through the sleeves of her jacket again.

“You sure?”

She nods and forces a smile, stepping toward him and reaching a hand down to him.

“Okay,” Jay says with a shrug, taking her offered hand into his and standing from the couch.

They leave her apartment and make their way out to his truck, it not being lost on him the way her hand trembles in his or how she doesn’t let go until they separate to get into the cab. When they buckle themselves in, she reaches for his hand again over the console between them.

He wants to believe it’s just because of the events of the last few days. The case and Kim and the very real possibility that tonight could have gone a lot differently if he and Kevin hadn’t found their friend and colleague when they did.

He’s not that naive though. He knows something else happened. Something big enough to scare her into bringing up marriage even though he’s definitely not against it. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s had the thought of spending the rest of his life with her. He thinks about it often, but he knows there is something she’s keeping from him that she can’t find the words for right now so he won’t push her.

She said they’d talk later and he knows she needs more time to wrap her head around whatever it is that’s going on. He just holds onto her hand tightly and drives, glancing over at her every few minutes to see her staring out the window and lost in her own head.

When they get to Med and he throws the truck into park, she lets go of his hand only long enough for them to get out of the cab and for her to meet him at the hood. Her fingers twine with his once again and she holds on tightly to him.

Jay has passed the point of concern now as they enter the hospital through sliding glass doors, but Hailey still doesn’t let go of him, only holding on tighter as they walk down the corridors of the hospital. They ride the elevator in silence, huddled into a corner as it fills with staff and visitors, and Hailey lifts her other hand to place it on his arm just below his elbow. He can’t help leaning down and kissing the top of her head, pressing his lips to her hairline in a silent reminder of assurance to let her know he’s still with her.

They step off the elevator when the doors slide open a few moments later, hands still intertwined between them and Hailey’s hand holding his arm as they walk down the hallway together. When the pair rounds a corner they spot Kevin leaning against a nurse’s station, one hand tucked into the front of his vest and the other holding his phone up to his ear.

“How is she?” Hailey asks quietly as her and Jay approach him.

Kevin looks between them, his eyes glancing between their joined hands and their faces, and a soft knowing smile peeks out over his own. Because despite the horrors and the unknowns that surround them, at least there is some bit of happiness to hold onto.

“Hold up a sec bro,” Kevin says into the phone, holding it over his shoulder and then looking between the couple again. “She’s still in surgery, but they said she’s fighting, still holding on.”

“She’s been through a lot, but she’ll pull through this too. I know it,” Jay says and Hailey nods at his side in silent agreement.

“Y’all staying for a bit?” Kevin asks them.

“Yeah,” Hailey tells him. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Kevin nods and gestures to his phone. “I’m gonna head to Kim’s place. Take over for Ruze and watch Makayla so he can come down.”

“Sounds good man,” Jay says, lifting his free hand and clapping Kevin on the shoulder.

The officer gives Jay and Hailey one last look before he steps away, walking down the hall and lifting his phone back to his ear. They hear his quiet words of “I’m on my way to you” as he rounds the corner and then he’s gone.

Jay glances over at Hailey, her hold on him unwavering and the worry inside him growing heavier by the second, but he won’t bring it up here. He leads her to a small alcove of chairs and takes a seat, Hailey sitting down beside him, and he brings their joined hands to his lap and places his free hand over top of them. She leans her head against his shoulder, breathing out a quiet sigh that is quickly followed by a dragged out yawn.

He glances at her face to see her blinking slowly, fighting off exhaustion and whatever else is going through her head that he doesn’t yet know about, an unmistakable look of sadness etched across her face. He could tell she was crying when she came out of her bedroom earlier and all he wants is to ask her what is going on, but he knows he can’t do that in some hospital waiting room. They’re here for Kim. Anything and everything else can wait.

He leans down and kisses the top of her head again, hovering over her hair as he pulls back slowly, and whispers, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispers back from beside him, squeezing his hand and his arm and not letting go.

Time moves slowly from there and Adam arrives almost forty minutes later, tears in his eyes and a disheveled mess of hair. He spots them quickly through the glass window of the alcove and walks toward them.

“Hey, any news?” He asks in a rush.

Jay shakes his head. “Before Kev left he said she was still in surgery, but we haven’t heard anything else yet.”

Adam nods slowly, pacing in a circle a few times before he finally takes a seat in the empty chair next to Hailey. He glances over at the half asleep blonde, smiling softly at the way she’s curled against her partner and clutching him with her hands.

“Is this a new development or - ?” Adam asks quietly, looking to Jay and nodding down to Hailey.

Jay smiles softly as he shakes his head and it makes Adam smile wider despite his own despair. “Well good for you guys then. It’s about damn time, man.”

“Yeah,” Jay mumbles softly, squeezing Hailey’s hand when she squeezes his fingers in her sleepy state.

Another twenty minutes pass in silence between the three until a nurse enters the alcove, a friendly look on her face.

“Are you here for the officer that was brought in? Kim Burgess?”

The two men nod and Hailey comes out of her sleepy haze at the sound of their friend’s name, looking up as the nurse smiles softly at them.

“She’s out of surgery. She’s stable right now, but still in critical condition. They’re transporting her to the ICU. Me or another nurse will come find you when you can see her.”

The nurse is gone as quickly as she appeared and they all breathe out a sigh of relief, Adam leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his head lowering in front of him. They can tell by the way his shoulders heave that he’s crying as he holds his hands over his face, sniffling quietly beside them.

Hailey pulls her hand from Jay’s arm and places it on Adam’s shoulder, squeezing gently and then the dam breaks. All the worry and the anger and the not knowing where Kim was or if she was even still alive leaving the officer’s body through every sob that rips through him.

“Sounds like she’s gonna be okay,” Hailey whispers, giving his shoulder another squeeze and running her hand across his back.

He lets it all out in the safe space between him and his friends, and then lifts his head, pulling at the neckline of his shirt to wipe at his face. He stands a moment later, wiping at his face again and sniffling back his tears, and turns to face Hailey and Jay.

“Thank you,” Adam says quietly through teary eyes as he looks at Jay. “For finding her, for getting her here as fast as you did, for all of it.”

Jay nods and then Adam looks at Hailey. “And thank you for making me go home. For pulling me back from the ledge. You were right.”

Hailey smiles softly at him, nodding slowly and knowingly, as Adam breathes out another deep sigh of relief.

“I’m gonna call the others, Kev and Trudy and Voight. Let them know,” Adam tells them and Jay doesn’t miss the way Hailey flinches beside him at the mention of their Sergeant’s name.

He glances at her for a moment, but she doesn’t look at him, refusing to meet his eyes, so he looks back at Adam and gives a short nod. “You good man?”

“I will be. She’s out of surgery, still hanging on. That’s all that matters now,” Adam tells them. “It’s late. You guys go home and get some sleep. Kev’s with Makayla. I’m not leaving here anytime soon.”

“You sure man?” Jay asks, feeling Hailey stiffen beside him.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll keep you guys updated.”

“When she wakes up, tell her we love her,” Hailey says quietly as her and Jay stand to their feet.

Adam assures them that he will with a small smile and a slow nod, and then they say their goodbyes. Hailey and Jay head out of the hospital, her hand never leaving his despite the way her body froze just moments ago and she holds onto him for near dear life in the same manner as when they first left her apartment.

When they arrive back at her place after another silent drive, Hailey kicks off her boots by the door and pulls off her jacket, tossing it over the back of the armchair as Jay does the same. She pulls her hair from its ponytail and tosses the hair tie on a side table, and when she turns to face him with tearful eyes he shakes his head at her.

Jay steps toward her slowly and looks directly at her, his eyes soft as always, but full of concern maybe more so than ever before. “What did he do Hailey?”

She lets out a deep breath and runs a hand through her hair. She knew she had given herself away in that damn alcove. Hearing Voight’s name had sent a chill through her as soon as she’d heard it and she just reacted. Out of instinct or fear or anger, she can’t be sure. She steps away from Jay and moves to the couch. She sits down and folds her legs up under her, resting her arms across her lap.

“He found Roy,” Hailey spills out through trembling lips. “He found him and he - “

She stops, shaking her head and keeping her eyes down at her hands as she picks at her nails, needing something else to focus on as she lays it all out.

Jay walks to the couch and sits down beside her, sitting sideways and facing her. He reaches an arm out toward her and rests a hand over her knee. “Hailey, what happened?”

“He gave me and Adam the locations for the knock and talks that were legit. He took the red flags. Adam had to take care of Makayla so I drove him to Kim’s apartment and went after Voight,” she speaks through a croaky voice as she looks up at him, having to force herself to do so despite the tears that pool in the corners of her eyes and blur her vision. “He - he was beating him. H-he had him cuffed. We had words and fought, I pushed him back. I convinced him to bring Roy in, that we found Kim and it was the right thing to do.”

Jay stares back at her, blood boiling and his heart pounding. He already knows how the story ends. The hand that doesn’t rest on Hailey’s knee shakes and he has to force himself not to ball it up in a fist out of anger for their Sergeant. He doesn’t wanna scare Hailey, so he squeezes her knee again gently instead.

“What happened after that?” He asks carefully.

“Voight went to uncuff him and Roy reached for his gun. He was gonna sh-shoot him and I just - it was a good shoot. It was a good shoot, but no one knew we were there. No one knew Voight was there. He went off book and didn’t call it in. He wouldn’t let me call it in.”

“Where’s Voight now?”

“I don’t know. He told me to leave. To go home and I just - I came here. I - I don’t - “ she’s shaking her head, tears falling from her eyes and her heart pounding in her chest, hands shaking.

“Hey, this isn’t on you,” Jay tells her immediately.

Hailey shakes her head again as she looks back at him. “I shot him. I killed him.”

“You did that because he was reaching for a gun. It’s completely justified.”

“But I was trying to be better! I was trying to be good!” She cries out. “Like you. I wanted to be better. I wanted to do it the right way.”

It’s him who shakes his head then, reaching for her shaking hands and holding them tightly between his, their knees touching as Hailey sniffles back more tears, but they just keep pouring out from her.

“You did it the right way, Hailey. You did all of it right.”

“I’m scared Jay,” she whispers, it’s so quiet he barely even hears her. “What if something happens? What if this comes back on me? I don’t wanna pull you into this. I don’t want you caught up in it. You’re too good.”

He’s shaking his head again as he tugs on her hands and pulls her toward him. He leans back and lies down on the couch, bringing her down on top of him and wraps his arms around her. One hand moves along her back and the other cradles her head against his chest. Her entire body shakes against his, sobs racking through her small frame as she cries out against him and grips his shirt tightly in her fists.

“I’m sorry,” she cries out, her words muffled against his chest as her tears soak through the fabric of his shirt, but he just tightens his hold on her and shushes her.

“It’s not your fault. We’ll figure it out. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere,” he promises with hushed words and soft touches. “You hear me? You’re not in this alone. I’m not going anywhere.”

He holds her and reassures her until her sobs grow quiet and she hiccups through her tears as she lies on top of him, cradled between his legs and his arms. Their tight grips on one another don’t loosen as they lie on the couch, just holding onto each other.

As time passes and her cries die down, he can’t be sure if she’s just keeping quiet out of fear or panic, or if she’s cried herself to sleep. He runs a hand over the back of her head, his fingers weaving through her soft blonde hair. When he tilts his head to kiss her on the forehead, he notices her open eyes, red and puffy from the assault of tears and she blinks slowly as if she’s afraid to sleep.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he whispers, kissing the top of her head again.

He pushes himself up with one arm into a sitting position as he keeps the other around Hailey and she clings to him, almost too scared to let him go.

“I promise you, I’m not leaving,” he tells her again, his tone gentle, but firm as he brings a hand to the side of her face to look her in the eyes.

The sight he’s met with as he looks at her crushes him. Her teary eyes, blotchy face and trembling lips. He feels tears of his own form in his eyes at the way she sits all, but in his lap, looking completely deflated, unsure, just broken down and nothing like herself.

“Come on,” Jay coaxes softly.

He stands from the couch and pulls Hailey up to her feet, keeping an arm around her shoulders. She still clings to him, her arms snaking around his waist as he leads them toward the bedroom and he switches off the lights of the living room along the way. He brings her to the bed and sits her down, the look of nothing on her face gutting him. She’s completely shut down now. He helps her undress, stripping her down to just a t-shirt and underwear, and then tucks her into her side of the bed.

He dresses down quickly to just his boxers before rounding to the other side and crawling in beside her. She reaches for him within seconds, attaching her body to his and holding on tightly and relentlessly and he just holds her, shushing her again and kissing her hair, praying for sleep to come to her quickly so she can finally rest.

It’s late as Jay lies in bed still awake, unable to settle his racing mind. Hailey sleeps beside him, breathing softly and snoring lightly from all of the crying and emotions of the last few hours, but even in her restful state she still doesn’t let go of him.

He can’t sleep. Can’t stop thinking about what she had told him, what their Sergeant had done, and it makes his heart beat faster and the anger boil hotter as he glances down at Hailey. She doesn’t deserve this.

He peels her hands from his body slowly and carefully so he doesn’t wake her, and slips out of the bed. He pulls on his jeans and grabs a t-shirt, and then walks out of the bedroom. He heads for the kitchen and grabs a notepad and pen from the island to scrawl out a quick note for Hailey. He knows the chances of her waking up are high and he knows the thoughts she’ll have if she wakes up in bed alone with him nowhere to be found.

He creeps back into the bedroom and places the note on his pillow, then checks to make sure Hailey is still asleep before he walks out to the living room. He pulls on his jacket and his boots, grabs his phone and keys, and then he sneaks out of the apartment.

It’s three in the morning, but he doesn’t care as he rings the doorbell and takes a step back. He stuffs his shaking hands into the pockets of his jacket and stays planted on his feet where he stands, afraid if he takes the tiniest step forward he might start swinging the second the door opens and that’s a mess that neither he nor Hailey can afford to handle right now.

When the door opens, his Sergeant doesn’t seem too surprised to see him standing on his front porch, even at the late hour.

“What are you doing here Jay?” Voight asks gruffly.

Jay stares back at him for a single moment and then says, “If this comes back on Hailey, in any way, I’ll bury you.”

His voice is completely calm, neutral, but there’s a layer of ice in his words that even he doesn’t think he’s ever used before with anyone let alone his boss.

Voight tenses his jaw, staring back at the man in front of him and very quietly, he says, “It won’t.”

Jay shakes his head, shuffling on his feet. “You don’t know that, Hank. You don’t know that! Look at what happened with Erin. With Al. When Ruzek got arrested. Everyone who gets close to you, who tries to help you, they take the fall. Not you. And I’ll be damned if I let that happen to Hailey. You’re not gonna drag her down with you.”

His voice comes out cold, uncharacteristically menacing, and the look on his Sergeant’s face tells him his words have stuck and they have hurt and he’s a little proud of himself for it.

Jay throws another glare at the older man in front of him, shakes his head in disgust at him, and then turns around and walks back to his truck.

By the time he gets back to Hailey’s apartment, his hands have finally stopped shaking and his heartbeat has slowed. He creeps inside and closes the door behind him as softly as he can before turning the lock and taking off his boots and his jacket. He pulls his t-shirt over his head as he moves to the bedroom and slides off his jeans before he slips back into his side of the bed again.

Hailey reaches for him immediately, snuggling into his side and he wraps his arms around her as she drops her head to his shoulder. She breathes deeply against him and he can tell she’s awake.

“You saw my note?”

She nods against him as she moves an arm across his stomach and squeezes his side. “Where’d you go?”

“I had to do something,” he says cryptically and she squeezes his side again. “He’s not gonna pull you down with him.”

“Please tell me you didn’t hit him,” she says quietly, half-joking and worried.

“Not yet,” he tells her. “I just had some words for him.”

She doesn’t say anything, just tilts her head up at him and kisses his neck just under his jawline. He tightens his arms around her shoulder and her waist, and rests his chin over her head.

“It’s gonna be okay, Hailey. Whatever happens, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” he tells her again. Hoping his words will stick so she can fall back to sleep easily enough.

She reaches for his hand at her waist, weaves their fingers together and squeezes, then whispers, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he tells her, dropping a kiss to her hair as she snuggles closer against him and lets out a deep breath against him.

“I thought I was gonna lose you,” she admits a moment later amongst the silence. “I think that’s why I said what I said. The whole marriage thing.”

“You’re never gonna lose me, Hailey,” he says, breathing in and out against her hair. “That won’t ever happen.”

“I said it out of panic at first, but - but I do want it. I want that with you. I want everything with you,” she tells him and he squeezes her against him that much closer, smiling at her even though she can’t see it.

“I want everything with you too,” he says. “Except let me do the proposal okay? I’ll make it some big gesture with lots of planning and I’ll be a nervous wreck the entire time hoping you’ll say yes.”

She shakes her head against him. “I’d say yes over takeout on the couch. I’d say yes right now.”

“As tempting as that is at the moment, it’ll still be a surprise. And it’ll be a happy one. One you won’t see coming.”

She lifts her head and stares at him, smiling a tiny grin at him in the darkness of her bedroom despite her aching body and worried thoughts, through dried tears and a blotchy face, and then she leans up as he leans down. Their lips meet in the middle, pressing against one another softly, slowly, surely.

It’s an unspoken promise that is made in the safe space of her bedroom. Their bedroom. Their home. A promise of a future together filled with a proposal and a wedding and babies and everything in between. It’s a promise of a lifetime together.

[the-bau-quinjet]

How could you do this babe?

In Breakable Heaven chapter one! Here we go!

Summary: Reader’s ready to celebrate her anniversary with her boyfriend, but things don’t go as planned. 

Warnings: Cheating, swearing, drunk people

Word Count: ~2100

“…leave a message at the beep.”

You couldn’t help but be disappointed that he didn’t answer, but didn’t mind leaving a message. “Hey babe, I was able to close the bookstore early! I should be to yours in the next few minutes if you want to celebrate early. I know you like to have ample time to get ready, so I guess I just wanted to warn you. Anyway, I love you. See you soon.” You left the voicemail as you walked to your car. Tonight you are celebrating your three-year anniversary. You even changed into your brand new lingerie to surprise him, wearing a long coat to hide it in public. It felt a little bit wrong not wearing real clothes, but you were determined to make this the best anniversary celebration yet.

 The drive to his apartment was relatively uneventful. A light rain started about halfway through the five-minute drive. As you pull up to his apartment building, you notice the lights on in his room. “Good, he’s home” you think to yourself as you open the door, shuffling inside from the muggy DC weather. As you approach the apartment door, you can hear the soft music of the playlist you made last month featuring all of Taylor Swifts most romantic love songs. Your heart flutters as you think of the kind gesture. Of course, he would be thoughtful enough to put on music as you arrived at his apartment. Unlocking the door and untying your coat at the same time proved to more difficult than anticipated, but you managed to nudge the door open whispering “happy anniversary baby” in the sultriest tone you could.

 As you took in the rest of the apartment, your heart burst. There were roses everywhere. Candles lit a path to the bedroom. Maybe he did know how to be a romantic. Dropping your things on the counter and sliding your coat off the rest of the way, you tip toed into the bedroom to surprise him since he clearly did not get your message. The next sixty seconds felt as though time stopped. Or, more accurately, you froze and everything else in the world took on an impossible speed.

As you pushed open the bedroom door, three things caught your attention. First, you felt a surprising amount of resistant as you pushed the door over a bundle of clothes you didn’t recognize. Second, you heard the bed bouncing against the wall. Third, you saw streaks of auburn hair running through you’re boyfriend’s hands as he mercilessly pounded into a woman you didn’t recognize.

 Apparently, your entrance was too quiet for either of them to be interrupted. All you could manage was to slowly retreat into the living room, closing the door, but knocking into a side table.  You could hear them as they stopped moving, running to the door to investigate the noise. All you wanted was to get out of there though. Throwing your coat back over your lingerie, you grabbed your purse and keys, slamming the door shut. You didn’t even turn around when you heard him opening the door and calling your name. Whatever he had to say was not worth your time anymore.

 You couldn’t get the image of the two of them in bed together out of your head. You were feeling absolutely everything at once. You felt betrayed. You felt sad. A small part of you was actually glad you had a reason to end it. It had never felt like the kind of relationship that would move on. But still, you thought you were happy with him.

 But mostly, you were pissed. Rightfully so, but you had no idea where to go or what to do. Your blind adrenaline carried you to the car, and you wound up at a bar. You don’t even remember starting the car, much less driving, but you knew you needed something to drink. You ran inside, ordering tequila shots to drown the sadness, and sat at the bar. As you sat at the bar, contemplating your existence, a man walked up to sit next to you. You had your fair share of practice with this scenario. You had mastered the right mix “fuck off” and “sorry, I’m taken” to get men like this guy to back off with just a single look. But right now, all you could manage was a halfhearted grin that very clearly said “you do not want to deal with my emotional baggage right now.” It was all in the crazed look in your eyes, you were sure of it.

 Nobody else came up to you while you were there. You couldn’t help but think over the past three years with him for signs that he was unfaithful. You couldn’t come up with any, the cheating bastard. He must have been pretty good at hiding the secret phone calls and date nights. But then again, you had your own secrets. Not that they would have made him feel like you do right now.

 After sitting long enough to consume four shots of tequila, two vodka sodas, and one dark and stormy, reality set in. All you wanted was to curl up in a ball and scream. Or cry. You were obviously not returning to his apartment, but you couldn’t go back to your own either. There was too much there that reminded you of him. The idea of walking in there to see his sweatshirt on your couch made you feel sick. You were teetering on the edge of a full breakdown when the idea struck you. Penelope.

 Penelope Garcia is your best friend. You met her at a Doctor Who convention the same day you met he who must not be named. She was there with Kevin, but they broke up a while ago. The realization that you could go to Penny’s couldn’t have come at a better time. Ha. Penny. You only call her that when you’re drunk. She’ll know what to do. You opened your phone, barely able to call up the Lyft to take you to her apartment. It’s honestly shocking you didn’t fall asleep on the seven minute drive there. Whatever, all you needed now was to get inside and forget about him.

 After entering the building, you tried the elevator. Of course it was broken. It took you about thirty six minutes to hobble your way up two flights of stairs to Penny’s floor. With each step, you considered texting her to come get you, but you knew the second you saw her you would break down. You absolutely did not want to start sobbing on these stairs. Too many people could see you. Finally arriving to her door, you were exhausted. Mentally and physically drained. Knock knock knock “Penny?” Knock knock knock “Penny?” Knock knock knock “Penny?” you imitated the Big Bang Theory, knowing the small joke would make you smile, even if just for a second. When the door finally opened, you vaulted in for a hug, not even opening your eyes.

 As you squeezed Penny, you finally broke out into a fit of sobs. Whisper yelling, you told her as much of the story as you could remember. “Penny, thank god. I left wo-ork early to surprise Dr-Dr-Drew for our anniversary – hiccup – but he was having s-s-se-sex with someone else…” you let out a strangled sob, not noticing how stiff Penny felt in your embrace. You buried your head into her as you continued “So I got very drunk and came here. Was he cheating on me this whole time?” You asked as your tears turned back to rage. “I even went out and bought this stupid, uncomfortable underwear to surprise him” you shout as your coat had begun to fall open again. After what felt like an hour of crying, but in reality amounted to no more than 60 seconds, you finally noticed something was odd. Two things lead you to a simple conclusion that was somehow difficult to comprehend in your drunk state.

 First, Penny felt taller. Second, she was wearing converse. Upon noticing these two facts, your hands traveled up the body you were hugging until you found shoulders. Turning your head up, your eyes followed the path your hands had just taken. This series of events lead to the obvious fact that whomever you were hugging was absolutely not Penelope Garcia. Penelope was in fact not even in the foyer, but rather a very attractive, tall man with slightly curly brown hair and eyes like honey was staring back at you. And you couldn’t take your eyes off him.

 --

Reid’s POV

 Spencer hadn’t actually had anything to drink since arriving at Garcia’s. No, he just drank prior to that point. Normally, he didn’t drink at all when his team got together, but this was just worth celebrating. Another serial killer was behind bars for life because of the work the team did today. Hell, even Hotch and Rossi stayed for a few hours before they left. As part of the “young crowd” on the team, he had stayed at the bar longer than the two older men before the group of you retreated to Garcia’s. Hers was the closest apartment, and everyone else wanted to keep the party going. Spencer couldn’t help but join them, not wanting to return to his empty apartment after the long day they all spent testifying.

 Finishing his second glass of water, he began to get up to get more and maybe some for the group when everyone heard the knocking. The group laughed as three consecutive “Penny’s” came from the door. “Reid, can you get that since you’re already up?” Garcia asked, motioning toward the door. “It must be Y/N. She always calls me Penny when she’s drunk.” He obliged. He obviously remembered Garcia mentioning Y/N before, but he had never met her. He swung the door open, expecting a drunk friend of Garcia’s. He was not prepared, however, for said drunk friend to throw herself at him, grasp him in an alarmingly tight hug, and start sobbing. He could barely make out what you were saying through the sobs hearing “surprise Drew”, “anniversary”, “sex”, and “drunk” before you practically screamed “I even went out and bought this stupid, uncomfortable underwear to surprise him.”

 It was clear you meant to be pouring her heart out to Garcia, but you hadn’t yet realized who answered the door. For the first time in his life, Dr. Spencer Reid couldn’t think of words to say as you ran your hands up his body to his shoulders. You were clearly taking in the information required to come to the conclusion that he is not in fact Penelope Garcia. As your eyes met his, all he could do was stare. He made every effort to keep his eyes level with yours, but one glace was all it took to be ingrained in his memory forever. He wouldn’t have looked, but the movement of your coat caught his eye as it revealed the exact type of surprise you had planned for whoever Drew was.

 The two of you were frozen, unsure of how to proceed. You looked just like he did- a deer in the headlights. Neither of you could move. Neither of you could speak. You could both hear Garcia’s voice as she stumbled down the hallway, but it sounded distant. It wasn’t until the mystery woman broke eye contact that he backed away. Trying desperately to control the blush he were sure had made its way to his cheeks.

 --

 Y/N’s POV

 The moment was broken as you felt Penny turn you towards her. The flush on your cheeks only grew as you kept your eyes on the tall man as he retreated into the living room, not having said a word. “Y/N… Y/N? Y/N!” Penny had to yell slightly to get your attention. “What happened? What are you doing here? I thought you were celebrating tonight?” She asked rapid fire. You could tell she was also a little bit drunk.

 You told her everything. The words practically falling out of you as you started crying again. “Oh babe, I’m so sorry. Here, let’s get you inside.” Penny started to guide you into the living room, but you froze “Wait! Can I borrow some clothes before I go in there? I don’t need to flash anyone else right now.” You whispered. Penny laughed, “Of course! Who did you fla- ohhh. Reid.” She said, trying to hold back the giggles.

 “Yes. If that is the very tall man with the perfect eyes and the completely tuggable hair.” You responded, not quite filtering your thoughts, as you were still very drunk.

 “I’ll be back in a jiffy!” Penny replied, not knowing how else to respond to the fact that you are very clearly attracted to the young doctor, but also going through shit right now. She would just file away this information for later.

taglist:

@mac99martin​ 

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

golden power; never wielded

my first work for @ninjago-angst-week! prompt - abandoned (16/08) Lloyd's never known what it's like to share his heart with another, linking two lives together as if one had found the melody to their chorus, now a song in perfect harmony. If he’d always felt like he was invisible; wondered if there was something fundamentally wrong with his inability to touch others’ hearts, then, well, that was no one’s business but his own. Of course, that was before he quite literally fell for someone - the first person, actually - who seemed to care. Of course she was too good to be true. Or, the S8 angst I've been wanting to write about 'game of masks' and the aftermath. trigger warnings - suicidal thoughts, brief mention of implied self-harm, not really a warning but it talks a lot about loneliness. "How did you know?"

"It's an Oni Temple. It's safe to assume that only an Oni could take it."

"No. How could you know that I was part Oni?"

How could you know that I was part Oni?

The question repeated itself in his mind, echoing into the blizzard.

Sometimes, he wondered what would've gone down at the temple if he hadn't been so observant.

Well, he thought bitterly, probably not the temple itself.

The walls collapsing, he'd caught a glimpse of his terrified face as the room filled with swirling inky blackness, freezing him to the bone.

But the real pain came from her words.

Ah. Your emotions. You can't get rid of them, can you?

No, he'd wanted to yell, staring listlessly at the shaking grey semblance of sky.

He'd always felt like he wielded the element of light; invisible, trapped behind a barrier that no one cared enough to break. Isolated; locked away from the world. Longing for - yearning for - a single soul to want to know his heart. Pain that almost felt tangible, bleeding into every motion, every day.

Everyone else seemed to find it so easy - so effortless - simple as breathing, taken for granted like it was ingrained into their bones. Everyone else seemed to have given away a little piece of their heart - to their parents, friends, or lovers.

The fact that his was, and had always been, entirely whole?

He was either cursed, the venom from the Great Devourer passed down to him, or there was something fundamentally unlikable coursing through his veins.

By this point, he assumed it was the latter.

Maybe, if anyone had ever cared - wanted to know him - he'd never have felt like it was pressing down on his chest like a casket; a useless block of ice that no one wanted, not even the unfortunate owner it'd been given.

If no one would know his heart, he'd thought, grabbing a forgotten map, he'd strike fear into theirs - until they knew what it was like to sob into invisible barriers, to gaze upon the world with a weary eyes and a heart heavy with the knowledge that if they vanished, no one would even notice.

He'd realized far too late that he had unleashed an evil that couldn't be controlled - or one that could only be controlled by his- by someone else that had sunk beneath the darkness until no light remained-

He'd escaped from the crumbling casket, energy and eyes blazing - only to find that Har- she'd already escaped with the mask.

The Oni Mask of Hatred.

As they had steered the boat through the river, her sweet smile hiding lie upon lie, he'd thought it was somewhat ironic - two lovers, seeking a literal manifestation of hatred.

He'd laughed bitterly; no mirth in the sound.

After his first crush had - well, literally tried to crush him, he didn't think that this day could get much worse.

Until she dropped him into a contraption that was the stuff of nightmares - leaving the others with a seemingly impossible choice.

He'd wanted to yell, scream, that they should save his mother - he'd hurt enough people over the course of his short life, as evidenced by the grief-stricken orphan yelling a foreign language right in front of him.

I'm the expendable one! Maybe she was right - it was my fault the Serpentine were able to release the Great Devourer. And it took thousands of lives - but never the life of the one who was to blame.

He'd grabbed the vengestone bars, the faint sense of numbness they brought a welcoming relief from the storm of emotions that- he honestly had no clue what to do with.

i could drown, he had thought briefly, fleetingly. what if i drowned and i never hurt anyone again-

you have  a responsibility, even though you've pretty much failed to uphold it so far

"Clotho venge! Clotho decer! Clotho haeed!"

Shoving the thought to the back of his mind, he'd gripped the bars tighter, ignoring the sting of the metal against skin.

If anything, he'd welcomed the sting.

Any pain was better than the agonizing reminder that his heart was, and had always been, entirely whole.

He didn't even realize he was trembling until he heard his father's voice echoing from the vortex.

His father hadn't asked to be bitten by an evil snake, the venom coursing through his veins for years upon years. He hadn't asked to be dumped at a boarding school for bad kids, spending what he had left of his childhood hiding in empty classrooms or yelling empty threats as his classmates snickered.

Against all odds, they'd been reunited. Evil snakes, Fangblades, even Jade Blades - none of it had stood between them.

Just when he thought they might have a future - he might have a- a family - the Cursed Realm decided to curse them all.

His father with imprisonment, him with a life devoid of a father he'd loved, at the end.

Now H- she wanted to resurrect him?

His father had been so much more than the Oni blood in his veins. So was he.

But if he was completely Oni-

Lloyd didn't like their odds. He kind of hated them.

"Clotho venge! Clotho decer! Clotho haeed!"

---

A few chaotic hours later... they'd won? They'd won.

The Sons of Garmadon (he'd always thought the name was kind of ironic - he, the only son of Garmadon, wasn't in their crazy biker gang) had been imprisoned by courageous, if a bit overzealous, taser-wielding policeman.

Ninjago was celebrating - everyone was; he should be, too.

Should he really revel in their victory, though? It was his fault that she'd been able to snatch the last mask, all the safeguards the Oni had put in place practically worthless because of his stupid feelings-

H- Harumi had been thrown in one of the police vans.

"You're right - this isn't me," she'd started, her meekness almost convincing him that she really was the girl he'd fallen for - the girl who'd been forced into a mask she never wanted to wear, but someone who still cared about the world... and- and about him.

"Stop."

He'd cut her off, the venom in his tone surprising both of them.

"Save it for someone who cares," he'd forced out, the hurt welling up his chest almost as painful as their unceremonious descent into the jungle, (the descent she'd orchestrated, he'd thought fleetingly, squeezing his eyes together) unable to believe that this- this liar was the same sweet girl he'd fallen for.

With that, he slammed the door of the van, locking her in - wishing that locking his memories away could be easy.

She'd never cared about him; simply needing to use him as if he was nothing more than the power he wielded.

He watched one of the policemen drive her away, the tired-but-enthusiastic cheers of his teammates nothing more than background noise; static.

Vaguely, he realized that his heart wasn't quite whole - he'd given a piece of it to someone whom he had thought would link theirs together in harmony, the melody to his chorus; what he'd been searching for ever since he'd woken up screaming in a 'boarding school' that seemed more like a prison.

She'd taken more than what he'd given - draining the light from his entire being as if she was the Overlord, stealing his golden power without a shred of remorse.

That failure was practically painless, compared to her-

An almost unfamiliar emotion slowly stated to replace the ache in his chest that he'd grown used to for all those years; it'd become comforting, even. Watching the world go by with a heart that seemed more like a curse, he briefly, fleetingly, wondered if he'd be better off without one.

If there was ever a problem that presented itself to Nya while she worked on the Bounty, she used to joke that it'd be easier to just dump their entire hard dive into the sea.

Destruction seemed to be easier than fixing, he conceded - the van now just a glimmer of bright light; one of the many that made up their vibrant city.

"How did you know?" he heard, yet again wondering how he felt so disconnected from his own role in the memory.

How had she known? 

The whisper of a voice long gone bled into his consciousness, his hands shaking at his sides even as the city celebrated.

Why had he even asked that?

Plastering a smile on his face as he walked over to his teammates, the question repeating itself in his mind, echoing into the blizzard.

FSM - she didn't need to be leader of a biker gang to know that.

Who could ever give their heart - the epitome of human connection; golden power all on its own, albeit of a different kind - to an Oni?

Maybe he wasn't the one trapped behind an invisible wall, built on tears and loneliness and yearning and heartache and a lone question - why? Why could no one seem to look past the cage he felt himself trapped in, observing the world rather than playing a part in it.

He hadn't been a- abandoned by everyone, he realized, a weary sense of clarity and shadowed eyes not sure to accept it or push it into the back of his mind like the hours he'd spent there, as if he'd ever want to have hurt his teammates like he did, the twisted ghost-

He trailed behind his teammates as they sang - horribly off key, his mind pointed out, forcing a small smile onto his face - lost in the figurative blizzard, despite the fact that the sun's rays had only vanished a few hours ago.

If no one would know his heart?

FSM - could he really blame them?

(if you read this far, thank you so much, you’ve made my day:D)

[ally22042000]

BTS Reaction: Them forgetting / not coming to an important event - Aftermath

Commenting and rebloging is appreciated.

BTS x Reader

Fluff, Angst

Wordcount: 2K

Previous Part

Special Thanks: to the individuals who commented one the previous part. I hadn’t even considered writing a second part. Thank you for giving me inspiration.

A/N: I think I was a bit dramatic at certain part, but oh well. Here your go, I hope you’ll like it.

Kim Seokjin

“I’m sorry, honey. I promise to make a greater effort for this to work.”

And he did. It took you some days to forgive him, but you had noticed the change immediately. In the beginning you didn’t let yourself dream, thought it was only a temporary change because he felt guilty. But when he prioritises you even months later, telling the company no, when they wanted to plan a “Run BTS” shoot on your birthday, you realised that he truly chose to change his behaviour – for you and your future.

And now, as he was driving the packed car, you in the passenger seat, sleeping heavily, he couldn’t be happier to have made the right decision.

Your wedding ring reflecting the afternoon sun. He stopped at a red light and turn to take you in fully. Hand slowly lifting to land on your pregnant belly. Another four month and the both of you would be proud parents.

“The both of you are worth every effort a man could make. I’ll make sure my girls will never forget that.”

Min Yoongi

6 pm on the dot he stood in front of your booth, flowers in one hand, a beautifully wrapped gift in the other.

“Hey”, he awkwardly said.

You stopped your tiping to turn your chair in his direction, not bothering to stand up or replay to the greeting. A heavy sigh left his lips as he realised you hadn’t forgiven him yet.

“I- ahm, I brought you flowers and this” he held the present in your direction “this is the gift for our anniversary, I brought it month ago.” Slowly you turned back to your screen while announcing that you still had work to do.

“Oh, okay, that’s no problem. I’ll just wait right here until you’re done and then we can go for dinner.” You didn’t give any sign of acknowledgement and just started tipping. After a few minutes he rolled over a chair from one of your co-workers who had already left and soon after he pulled out his phone.

You wanted him to wait, to suffer, he knew that. Just like you had waited after preparing dinner for the both of you. But he would brave the silence and wait until you were ready to start the process of healing what he broke. Because if Min Yoongi was one thing, then it was patient. You were both aware that he would not leave until it was with you.

That’s why you were surprise when he got up suddenly and called for the elevator. It was just past 7 pm, no way would he give up that fast.

You decided not to go investigate and return to your document which could easily have waited until the following morning.

You didn’t look up when the doors opened a new, and you heard him walk back to your booth. What made you lift your head though, was the delicious smell, that suddenly floated in the air.

Two white bags were placed on your desk, on the side the name of your favourite Take Away.

“If you won’t let me take you to dinner then I’ll bring dinner to you.” He grumbled, while emptying the bags.

Not being done with that little dance of yours, your resume your typing, waiting until he would go off. You didn’t have to wait long though.

His hand grabbed the arms of your chair and spun you in his direction, caging you in your seat.

“Eat Y/N. You don’t have to talk to me, forgive me, hell even look at me. But you will eat.”

His eyes held a fire that you hadn’t seen in a while. Slowly you reached for the first dish and started eating. Meanwhile Yoongi had fallen back into his with a satisfied not.

You continue to ignore him for the rest of the evening. This dispute wasn’t over, and you were still hurt, you were both aware of that. But when you finally slipped into bed with him you made sure to pull him close, a heavy sigh slipping past both of you lips.

You fought and pickeered, but you would never give up on him. Never give up on your love.

Jung Hoseok

You heard him mount the steps before you saw the letter enter through the opening in your front door.

Two months, that’s how long you hadn’t spoken to him. Using the time and distance to find yourself again and reorganise your thoughts and feelings. Analyse the situation and trying to find the solution that fit you best.

And each week he dropped of one letter. He never ringed, respecting your boundaries.

The content was random thoughts he had had throughout the week about you - your smell that had left his bed sheets – your song that had play while he was on his way to work and made him stop in a parking lot to cry his heart out – the way he missed holding you – kissing you – making love to you – hearing you laugh.

In the two-month gone you were able to fix yourself again, gluing the pieces back together that you needed to protect yourself and to make the tough decision that was best for you.

And while you were able to do all of that, the loneliness never left. The loneliness only he could cure.

You had a lot of things you would need to work on, and he had to prove himself a lot before you would trust him with your love again, but your heart never left his clutches. Jung Hoseok was your man, your soulmate, your future.

And so, for the first time in two month you opened the door. He was in the middle of turning back around when he heard the movement. Your eyes connected. Shock written all over his face.

“Do you want to come inside for a cup of peppermint tea?” On simple question and the sun came out. His entire face was lit up with happiness. He nodded eagerly not able to form any words.

And with the closing of the door, a new chapter in your story begun. Let’s hope this time it would have a happy ending.

Kim Namjoon

Namjoon’s entire body felt like it was made out of stones when he entered his bedroom. He was beyond tired and everything hurt. He flipped on the light and almost let out a scream when he saw you sitting on the edge of the bed, exactly where he had left you.

“Y/N?” his voice nothing but a whisper.

Slowly you lifted your head to look at him. Your eyes red from crying. A white stick between your fingers.

“What is that?”, what a question? Of course, he knew what that was. Was he ready to hear it, though?

“I’m pregnant.” Your voice sounded horse and tired. Your entire posture screamed exhausted. No at all how he imagines he would ever hear those news, but well it was kind of his own fault.

“Okay.” Was all Namjoon said, knowing both of you weren’t in the right state of mind to have the required conversation right now. He helped you clean up and tucked you in. Quickly jumping into the shower, himself before he crawled beneath the sheets next to you, one arm thrown over your middle.

Sleep came fast for the both of you, your bodies allowing you the rest. Tomorrow you could deal with all of this. With the emotions. With the questions: does this change anything? Will this be enough for him to change his priorities? Or will the same factors win again as they always did.

Park Jimin

It was shortly past four in the morning when you returned. Silently you walked through your apartment and slid though your bedroom door. After cleaning up and changing you slid beneath the sheet ready for sleep. That is when you realised that the man next to you was awake. Eyes trained on your celling, not moving a single muscle.

“Jimin?” his name was nothing but a mere whisper as it glid past your lips. You thought he would be deep asleep by now.

“Do you still love me?” You barely heard the question, not sure if you were supposed to.

“What?” An incredulous look took residence on your face, confused about the sentence.

His head turned in your direction, eyes filled with tears, pain written all over his face.

“I am so sorry, Y/N. I swear I didn’t mean to forget. I am so stupid. Please forgive me, please. Please.“ The silent tear turned into pained sobbed as he buried his face in the pillow.

Stunned into silence you watched as the man you love fell apart in front of you. Slowly you scooted toward him, fingers gliding into his hair as you buried your face in his shoulder. Softly massaging his scalp, you tried to calm him down.

“Jimin, of course I still love you. Nothing could ever change that. You are my Jiminie, okay? Please stop crying.” He didn’t, for a long time, but he reached out and held your hand through it.

And while you were laying there, comforting him, and waiting for him to calm down, your realised that this was not something you could do with Jimin. His love was too passionate and his insecurities too big for him to take this kind of behaviour. He needed words of affirmation during though times, not abandonment.

You would be sure to remember that because you never wanted to see him in this kind of pain again.

Kim Taehyung

This time he was prepared. He had the gift, invited your friend and family, planed the entire day weeks ahead and made sure everything was perfect.

This was going to be your day. You were going to feel like the queen you are, and he would read every wish form your eyes. Royalty would be jealous for the way you would be treated, and everybody would long to be in your shoes. That was what he had planned.

What he didn’t plan for was the black attire and the crying. What he didn’t plan for was the preaching and the current venue. What he didn’t plan for was the car crash you had a week ago. What he didn’t plan for was for you to be found dead on impact.

So here he was, watching as your cascade was lowered into the ground. On your birthday. It sounded like a sick joke.

Life gave Taehyung so many chances, but sadly he couldn’t redeem himself to the person that is most important to him – was most important to him.

Jeon Jungkook

Your heard him as he walked through the door. The blanket above you felt heavy just like the silence that filled your little apartment.

The screeching of your bedroom door notified you of his entrance. The rustling of clothes as he disrobed, and his soft breathing was the only thing that you could catch.

Your body stiffened when you felt him slip under the covers behind you. His naked chest pressed into your back as he slung his arm around your middle. A faint kiss was left behind your ear as he mumbled the words, he declared every night: I’m home.

Two years later but nothing had changed. At the same time so much had. Tonight you didn’t sit, waiting in a restaurant by yourself for hours, praying he would show up. You didn’t endanger your life on the way home or cry yourself to sleep.

No, tonight you laid in the arms of your boyfriend while your mind was with your lover who had entertained your loneliness for the past three months.

You had been correct in your assumption that nothing would change and after a lot of fights and tears but without the strength to actually leave Jungkook, you had fallen in love with another man. Obtaining through him the love and touch you missed from your absent boyfriend.

Namjoon and you weren’t proud of what you were doing, far from it. But you kept gravitating towards each other.

One who seeks love, one who gives it and one who is blinded by misplaced priorities: a recipe for disasters and broken hearts.

[sugurus-slxt]

Our Song – Tsukishima Kei

Type: fluff (SFW)

Warnings: slight cursing, not eating, crying

Note: Guess you could say it’s a college au but I’ve been working at this for a while so I hope you like it.

Word Count: 3388

Hope you guys enjoy the story      

Sunday [6:30 p.m.]

You were laying on your bed in your dorm running your fingers through Kei’s hair while he listened to music. This is how you spent most rainy weekends. He was quietly humming to his overly loud music but you were kind of in a daze looking at the wall but not quite. You did this a lot while staring off in your faraway land, thinking of a future with him but it’s not something you would tell him. You were too afraid he didn’t feel the same way. You knew he loved you, nearly two years into college and you both are still going strong but what if he never thought about it.

“Hey, shorty! Whatcha thinking about?” He looked up at you. “Oh, nothing really just some assignment my professor mentioned in class today,” you lied trying to brush it off quickly. He just shrugged and asked, “Ok...  Umm…Wanna listen to music with me? I’ll play my playlist you like.” You nodded, “I’ll get my Bluetooth headphone…” he pulled on your wrist. “I’ll share these with you,” he held up his regular earbuds and you agreed. If that’s what he wants, it was fine with you.

Tsukishima would never admit it but sharing his earbuds like this with you made him feel more connected like sharing your energy, a sort of bond, it was romantic for him. The thought of it always made the tips of his ears turn pink. He switched positions to have you lay next to him, your face buried in his chest. Silently, he prayed you couldn’t feel his heart quicken as he rested his head atop yours and hand on your waist. Headphones plugged on the playlist began. A few songs in a familiar song started to play, a love song, one of your favorites. “Babe? This song …” you started but he shushed you. “I know. I know. I added it because I knew you liked it ok now just listen ok. It’s no big deal,” his fingers played along your spine only making you feel more nervous. Your thoughts began to wander as more of your favorite romantic songs played. At this point, it was 7:30 PM and there was one thought that couldn’t leave your mind ‘What’s our song?’ and before you knew it you started talking, “Hey um Kei? What’s our song?” You regretted it as soon as you asked. “Huh? What do you mean our song?” he questioned his voice slightly drowsy and muffled by your hair. “It’s just… you know what it’s nothing,” you brushed it off and tried to continue listening to the music but he paused it.

“Spit it out y/n,” he said looking at you, it wasn’t meant to be rude, he just preferred you to be straightforward. You didn’t intend to make a mini-rant but it happened, “You know our song. It like a song for us that describes us and no matter where or who we’re with when it plays we think of each other. Or like if we are together and it’s just that knowing look that happens when it plays. Our song that’ll make it feel like it’s just us no matter who’s around. And it’s not just us you know its fits us, describes us like it was meant for us. Like it’s a song we can play to dance at our wedding, and again on our anniversary and relive the moment. Maybe even for our ki-,” you stopped in your tracks. You had caught yourself before you went too far. It was unbelievable you just brushed it off a while ago but it still managed to come out. Your most insecure thoughts were poking at you as Kei just kind of looked at you, lips parted. You’ve never seen that expression well except the time he’d see you naked for the first time but still, this was a bit different. He looked away scratching his neck and said, “Oh ok… Well, we can think about a song I guess but I’m kinda hungry and I told Tadashi I would go for pizza with him so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Your face fell as he grabbed his stuff and walked out of your dorm. He just kind of brushed it off and you were terrified because he was supposed to stay the night. You knew Kei could be like this, he wasn’t the best with his emotions and you knew that. You even loved it but this time his lack of response just threw you into a blender of bad thoughts. Maybe you just made him nervous but what if he didn’t want that, what if you had scared him off your mind was racing. You went to bed without dinner and tried to fall asleep whilst listening to the playlist he had made for you whilst trying to hold back sobs. It’s a miracle you got any sleep that night, thoughts kept attacking you “What if he breaks up with me tomorrow? What if he doesn’t want that with me? Does he think I’m stupid for thinking so far? ”

-----Out for Pizza with Yamaguchi-----

“I thought you and y/n had plans?” he said sipping his drink.

“Hey … We did but um she started talking about this thing called ‘our song’,” he was hoping he could clear his head and talk about how he felt without messing things up. Tadashi was always good with words and being kind.

“But isn’t that like good?” He asked confused chewing his pizza. Unlike Tsukishima who hadn’t touched his food even a bit.

“I guess but she was talking about marriage and kids and I-,” he paused looking down whilst fiddling with the straw in his drink.

-----The Next Day-----

You put on some concealer to hide your eye bags and puffiness, some regular comfy clothes, and bought a whole lot of coffee, just something to get you through today but it didn’t help. You couldn’t focus and it was driving you mad. Your friends noticed your teachers and even the janitor. There was no doubt Kei wouldn’t notice but he wouldn’t let you just say “It’s nothing…” However, there was one problem you hadn’t seen him all day. It was the end of this achingly slow day and you bumped into Yamaguchi, “Hey have you seen Tsukishima?” He smiled and said, “No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday but I’m sure you could probably find him in his dorm later.” You wanted to ask him if Kei had said anything but in all honestly you were too scared to. You thanked him and quickly went on you way.

-----Next Week------

The entirety of last week had followed a similar cycle to the say after what you consider the “Great Tragedy”.  You’d barely eaten or slept, the dark circles were becoming more than obvious. You were convinced you guys were over and it was getting harder to bear. Sure you could have just seen him at his dorm and ended this prolonged misery much quicker but something always came up whether it be a problem, an assignment, or just your cowardly nature towards the situation. At this point, you were just torturing yourself. Tomorrow was your 2 year anniversary and you were more than afraid to face him. That’s if it wasn’t over already.

-----At Tsukshima’s Dorm-----

“You have to go see her,” Yamaguchi pleaded

“But what if she doesn’t want me anymore now? What if I messed up? Worse what if she thinks you hate her? I should have seen her even if I was busy.  I’m always such- such dammit I’m an asshole,” it was one of those rare moments in his life where he was having a breakdown and he didn’t know what to do.

“Tsukishima Kei! You better calm down right now!” Yamaguchi held on to Tsukishima shaking his shoulders. “You aren’t going to know unless you find out ok. I know you, even if you’re not good at expressing yourself but you always succeed in getting the point across plus just sleep tonight and execute the master plan tomorrow. And for the record she knew you were an asshole, strangely I think she likes that,” he patted Tsukishima on the back and left the dorm, giving him a small laugh and smile of reassurance.

The words master plan gave him some comfort but he wouldn’t really call it that. It was always the plan it just took longer than he expected. He’s kind of glad you never came to check on him but he knew you, even if it didn’t seem that way. He knew you were hurt and your habits would have taken a turn for the bad he just hoped that he didn’t mess up for good. Tomorrow was your anniversary so in a sense the timing was perfect. The only problem was he’d avoided you for so long he hadn’t even seen you, sure he asked around but his worries weren’t put to rest so easily. He’d never let you know how obsessive he could be.

It killed him to be away from you for so long, especially how your last encounter had ended.  He could only hope this would make you see, make you understand how he feels once and for all.

----- Anniversary----- 

He was hoping he could catch you around campus for lunch and maybe convince you to take a walk with him to the nearby coffee shop where both of you had your first date, but you weren’t anywhere to be seen. He remembered that date, no matter what snarky remark he made you’d laugh and giggle. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, but he wouldn’t show it, instead, he’d made a snarky remark towards you laugh which only made you laugh harder. He was intrigued, captured in a sort of way and he knew you’d keep him that way for a long time but now it was a bit different.

“Hey, Tsukki! I heard she’s in her dorm, she hadn’t gone to classes all day,” Yamaguchi ran up to him pulling him out of the memory.

“Thank you!” He ran quickly, practicing more often really paid of athletic-wise.

----- In Your Dorm -----

You hadn’t moved all day. No breakfast, lunch, snack not even water. Your body ached, your nose stuffed not only from crying but rather because you worried yourself sick, literally. His gift laid unwrapped on the floor, It was a box of various things you thought he might like, new kneepads with a cute little dino on the ends, a jacket with an embroidered moon on it, cute matching dino necklaces, and a plushy which was you guessed it a dinosaur. Now you were wondering if he’d even want anything from you.  

As the heaviness of your eyelids started to take over there was a sound of the door opening, you quickly pulled the blanket over your head. Kei was the only one with a key; you wouldn’t let him see you like this. You didn’t want this to be the last way he saw of you, pathetic, weak, and plain loser. You prepared yourself to be broken up with as he called out, “Y/n! Y/n! Shorty! Babe, I’m coming in!” ‘Babe ?” your thoughts lingered on the word, it gave you hope and a bit of courage to call back out quietly because you could barely raise your voice, “I’m in my bed.”

He peeked his head in and the sight made his heart crack, “You little dummy! You got yourself sick; I should have known this would happen. Umm, I’ll be right back.” He ran out and in about 15 minutes he had been back, and even then you were still shocked and confused. “I’m in your kitchen,” He called out.  All you could manage was to mumble a simple ‘ok.’ His plans had few out the window and in all honesty, he was panicking just a bit but he still had a backup plan though and he thinks it’ll work just fine. All he had to do was try his best to do what he came here for, he just wanted to make you see and hopefully he hadn’t ruined everything.

Tsukishima waltzed into your room carrying a bowl, “Ok, I’m no cook but I can make ramen. You better like it ok.” He helped you sit up and held the spoon to your mouth which kind of took you by surprise, “Come on open up or I’ll eat it myself. Unless you want me to do that airplane thing they do for babies you’re such a child anyways,” he joked earning a little giggle from you. You gladly took the mouthful and smiled, “Yummy. Thank you, babe,” a small smile quirked his lips to your response. This caused your cheeks to feel even warmer if that was even possible, the fever was already burning you alive. After you finished the ramen, he made you take some medicine and drink water. At this point, the fact that today was your anniversary was completely forgotten but you did the one thing that got you into this mess again. You blurted out, “So you’re not here to break up with me?” He looked sort of taken aback, had he really made you feel that way. He thought maybe his lack of response had made you sort of letting go of yourself but he didn’t think that this could happen. He hated that he couldn’t make you believe in his love, that he always came off as cold but it was time to execute the plan. He hoped this would show you.

“What? No, no I’m not here for that but um we can talk about this after you should get some rest,” He padded towards you and laid next to you wrapping his arms around you. “What if you get sick?” you questioned him quietly. “It’s whatever; you’re the dummy who didn’t take care of yourself so now I gotta do this. Plus maybe then you can take care of me, you owe me anyway because I made you my amazing ramen,” you chuckled at his response, leaning into his touch. “Wait I almost forgot,” he grabbed his earbuds and his phone. He readjusted and started the music, you were four songs in, all happened to be a mix of his and your favorites.

Tsukishima’s heart rate had quickened and his breathes were getting shallow, it was fast approaching and he was nervous. He couldn’t help but wonder ‘What if you hadn’t liked it?’ The song started and you knew immediately, you couldn’t face him your hand over your mouth, tears welled in your eyes it was beautiful, it was perfect. You could feel every emotion, every thought, you knew he loved you before but this was pure, it was his everything and he did it all for you.

The weight shifted on the bed as he came on the other side of the bed on one knee, he pulled your hand from your mouth and kissed your knuckles, “I’m sorry I left you waiting for so long, I’m sorry I made you feel lonely and hurt but most of all I’m sorry for making you didn’t think I loved you. I’m not the best with words so um I hope this comes out right. When I met you, I felt like I finally found my person, you loved my dry, snarky humor, weren’t easily fazed and most of all you never judged me. You made me feel accepted, loved and I could never ask for anything more. I- I- spent the last week thinking about what you said and well you know what else now, I’m sure you can tell. Anyway, umm I want to get married, I want cute kids that look like you and have your cute laugh, I want it all, I’m sorry I didn’t make it seem that way, I just never thought you could want that with me but I panicked though I was beyond happy. I can’t propose to you now but I want to promise myself to you with these,” he held out his other hand with two rings; they were dino rings which made it even cuter. You couldn’t help but giggle as you wiped the tear with your other hand. “That’s if you still want me and we can play this song, Our Song at our wedding, in the car, for our kids, whenever you want if that’s still what you want,” he broke, tears slid down his cheeks.

 He was never one to cry, and when he did it was genuine. You shifted your body, your legs off the side of the bed, and him now kneeling in between them. You raised his slightly bowed head, holding his face and wiping the stray tears on his cheeks, “Kei, you’ve never made me feel lonely, I just over thought and you know kind of thought maybe you didn’t want to have kids or get married or the whole shebang. I’m not the most optimistic person so I immediately assumed the worst. This isn’t your fault I’m just a big idiot and I love you so much. So yes I want all those things with you and no one else.”  He laughed a bit, “Yep you’re an idiot but you’re my big idiot and I love you too, shorty hmmm shortcake,” he placed a gentle kiss against your lips and slips on the funny little ring.

“Hey you were supposed to say I’m not an idiot but what did I expect, shortcake though I like that,” You leaned in as he hummed in response against your lips. He is incessantly kissing you but a question crossed your mind and you stopped him, “What’s wrong y/n?” He questioned a bit worried. “How did you make that song by yourself? Not to mention your voice is amazing babe. You should consider music as a career you know,” you looked waiting for a response. “Well you see, I had some of the lyrics written about half a year ago and what you said made me finish em. You made me really happy but also nervous and I was scared to mess up so I panicked. I thought maybe if I had finished the song I could get my feelings across so I met up with someone I knew from my time in high school and he helped me out. Semi Eita, the musician he helped me with the tune and the music in the background. I took a bit longer mainly because I needed it to be perfect and I was nervous.  So yeah but I’m gonna be a pro volleyball player babe, I didn’t know my voice was good until Semi suggested I sing it myself.”

“Wait like the Semi Eita,” your eyes sparkled, you loved his music, “You never told me you knew him. Wait sorry I’m off-topic, the song was perfect and you wrote these that long who knew you could be so romantic?” He looked at you slightly frowning, “Hey! I can be romantic ok. You try to top that. Humph!  I’m glad you like the song though. Oh also I’ll introduce you next week to Semi he’s been curious, something about someone who can handle the Tsukishima Kei. I don’t know what he’s talking about.” You jumped up, “I can’t wait. Yayyyy. Oh wait before I forget I didn’t wrap your gift but it’s over there, I kind of got necklaces, they match the rings.” You twirl around excitedly when suddenly he grabs you by the waist, “Well since your feeling so much better, maybe you can give me another gift,” he pulls you down to straddle his lap on the bed instantly attaching his lips to your neck.

You jokingly cough in his face and run as he chases you around the dorm shouting, “You damn pipsqueak when I catch you which you better hope I don’t, you’re so screwed.” He does eventually catch you but he drags you back to be for cuddles, kisses and a bit more. Needless to say, both of you did not attend classes tomorrow.

I always found it hard to be myself

But you made feel like no one else

A love like no other is what I really felt

So I’m in this in sickness and in health

So that’s what I thought the last verse could have been but I’m no song writer so I’m sorry if its horrible. On that note I hope you enjoyed the story. I encourage constructive criticism and I hope to see you again.

PS I am working on your requests I promise it’ll be here soon. 

If you liked my work, maybe you might want to buy me some coffee ☕️?

Question; Do you want what happened if Y/N decided not to be playful aka the NSFW?

[coffee-without-caffeine]

Childe x reader ~ “Why’d you only call me when you’re high?”

Details: Modern AU!, Soulmate AU!, F!reader (if anyone would like a male reader I can rewrite it to be with a male reader instead and post that too)  Character: Childe/Tartaglia (Genshin Impact)  Trigger Warnings: A very toxic relationship in the beginning (not with Childe), mentions of the mafia, mentions of attempted kidnapping, childe literally breaking into your house(?).  A/N: I love Kaeya but I couldn’t think of a better name so I just used his name for the ex. In now way shape or for is this how I see Kaeya or want others to see Kaeya so please keep this in mind when he is mentioned. Thank you <3

“The mirror’s image tells me it’s home time,” 

The music blared from you phone as you curled into a tighter ball, pulling the polyester material closer to your face as it soaked up the stray tears. Why were you crying over him again, Kaeya, he wasn’t even your soulmate... Where was your soulmate? You’d been on this earth for twenty-two years yet you hadn’t heard a peep. Not a single word, tattoo, flare of pain. There was no red string tied around your finger like so many others had. Did you have a soulmate? Surely he would have shown up by now, or at least made his presence known. 

“But I’m not finished ‘cause you’re not by my side.”

The song was little more than background noise now as you found yourself stuck in your own head. After coming to the conclusion you were one of the unfortunate people born without a soulmate, you had turned to meaningless relationships. You had thought they were meaningless, until you had began a relationship with Kaeya.

“And as I arrived, I thought I saw you leaving,”

It had started off beautifully, everything perfect and as it should be. You weren’t sure what had changed within the time you had been dating but at one point the magic of a new relationship had faded and the curtain had dropped. Not once has Kaeya made an effort to show he cared about you, all of the effort had stemmed from you. You were the one who woke up each day and texted him good morning, you were the one who would listen to him rant only to be shut down when you were crying and in pain. Every phone call revolved around him and what he had to say while you could do nothing more than offer up how you agreed with him.

“Carrying your shoes, decided that once again I was just dreaming of bumping into you.”

You had thought it was normal at first, you were both in a happy and loving relationship so why should it matter if he listened to you or not. He didn’t have a soulmate just like you, so why did it matter? You were meant to be together, this was the universe’s way of giving you a soulmate. Right?

“Now it’s three in the morning, and I’m tryna change your mind.”

It took you longer than you’d like to admit to come to terms with the fact you didn’t have a soulmate. Having someone else who shared the pain with you, the feeling of losing something you never had to begin with, was the best feeling. It had filled what you thought to be the gap of your soulmate, like fitting a piece into a puzzle that wasn’t from the same set. It wasn’t supposed to work but it did. You were so happy to have someone like you, or so you had thought.

“Left you multiple missed calls, and to my message you reply”

He had a soulmate. That piece of information had snapped the last thread holding your relationship together. You had clung to the hope that there was someone else like you, but there wasn’t. You two had been arguing, over what you couldn’t remember, but things had gotten heated and he had screamed that he should have never dated someone who wasn’t his soulmate.  “You don’t have a soulmate though, you’re just like me! We’re meant to be together because of what we lack!” He had laughed cruelly, “You really think we were meant to be together? What are you stupid?”  You watched in horror as he pushed his long sleeve up his arm to reveal a gorgeous tattoo of a bundle of yellow carnations. You couldn’t hear him anymore, you couldn’t see anything except for that bundle of carnations inked onto his arm. There was no doubt that it was the mark of his soulmate.  “Get out of my apartment.” That’s when the tears had started falling. 

“Why’d you only call me when you’re high?” Childe muttered as he walked down the bustling city street. “She’s listening to that song again? What is it now, the third time this week?” He thought, pushing his way through the crowd that blocked the entrance to the subway. Childe had ignored his soulmate for as long as he remembered. He refused to communicate in any way, never drawing on his skin, never singing to a song no matter how catchy (ahaha for ✨plot✨); not once had he tried to reach out. It wasn’t because he didn’t care about them, oh how he longed to hold you in his arms and whisper sweet nothings in your ear, it was the exact opposite. Childe cared deeply for his soulmate and, in his mind, being the soulmate of someone deeply rooted in the mafia was more of a blessing than a curse. The Fatui were feared in most towns, known mainly for their debt collection tactics and their deep roots in politics at a national level. Childe had been taken in at a young age, handed over by his father in hopes to pay off his debt to the Fatui (yes I know in his actual backstory his father sent him to the Fatui in hopes to change is attitude, sorry I couldn’t find a way to fit that in properly). Childe had grown up, and soon rose up the ladder that was the Fatui, eventually becoming a so called “Harbinger,” one of the highest ranks within the Fatui. So, deciding that living life constantly worrying about his soulmate was not one he wished to live, Childe had decided to ignore his universe given other-half. That is until the universe had other plans. 

It was supposed to be a simple job, to give someone in debt a little bit of incentive to pay the Fatui back. They had found that Kaeya was close to a woman named Y/N. After a little bit of digging they had found out that Kaeya was in a relationship with Y/N, and that he had constantly been in and out of her apartment until a few days ago. Despite his recent break in the pattern of visits, his calls to Y/N’s number had remained more or less the same. Stepping out of the subway car Childe found himself running through the job once more. Break into the apartment, kidnap Y/N (yes, I know it’s cliche), leave a note for Kaeya and leave with you until he payed back his debt. It’d be quite a bit easier than most of his previous jobs, shouldn’t take him longer than two hours; the majority of it being the drive. What Childe hadn’t been expecting when he picked the lock and opened your door, was to see the very person he was supposed to kidnap cocooned in blankets, sobbing, and listening to the exact song that had been playing in his head the entire way here. Raising your tear stained face the two of you made eye contact, your red and puffy eyes meeting his wide and terrified ones. There was no denying it for either of you, the syncing of your breathing, the song that was now playing through both of your heads, you two were soulmates. Childe wasn’t sure how to react, halfway through the door and unsure if he was supposed to come any closer, he just stood there, unmoving. A pure mixture of fear and joy was pounding through this veins as he stared back.

You on the other hand, had no idea how to feel. You had spent your entire life believing you didn’t have a soulmate, and yet here he was half way through your door and a very bewildered look on his face. He was handsome, there was no doubt about that but you couldn’t say that your first impression of him was the best- seeing as that he had picked your lock and broken into your apartment while you were crying your eyes out. The circumstances of you meeting him had been less than ideal, as was the history of your relationship with him. You were so happy to have finally met him, that gap in your chest finally filled... but that wasn’t the only thing that filled your chest at the current moment; pure, burning, unbridled rage pooled in your chest and spread through out your body. You had a soulmate, but not once had you heard from him. Not a single sung lyric, not a single doodle on your arm, no tattoo or shared pain, nothing from the man who now stood fully in your apartment. Before you could process what exactly you were doing a harsh smack echoed through the space of your apartment.

Childe wasn’t sure how to feel now. After finally walking all the way into your apartment he had watched as you sprung from your bundle of blankets and stormed towards him. Apparently your way of greeting your soulmate wasn’t a hug or a handshake, it was to slap him straight across the face with surprising force. Childe was now looking at your wall with a stinging cheek and a blank mind.  He found himself speaking to you before he could think about what he was about to say “Well that’s one way to greet your soulmate.” Perhaps that wasn’t the best thing to say to you. “Greet your soulmate? Greet your soulmate! ‘Greet your soulmate’ my ass I think I have every right to greet you like that when I didn’t know you existed until a couple of minutes ago! Keep in mind I have lived a soulmate less life for twenty-two years and here you are waltzing into my apartment after you picked the damned lock!” “At least I know you aren’t younger than me...?” And that’s how Childe found himself with not only a hand shaped mark on his right cheek, but a large goose egg on his forehead from the book you had unceremoniously flung at his face.

The two of you now sat on your couch, you with a freshly poured glass of wine and Childe with a bag of ice pressed to his forehead.  “So you mean to tell me that I have spent twenty-two years believing I didn’t have a soulmate, because you were part of the mafia and didn’t want to put my life at risk.” “That’s exactly what I’m saying, I’m so glad you under-” “God nobody told me that if I had a soulmate he was going to be such an idiot.” “-stand... I’m sorry what was that just now?” Of all the responses Childe had expected, yours wasn’t one of them. “I know you heard me perfectly fine.” You snapped back, reaching for the book that now sat on the coffee table. The look of pure fear on Childe’s face was one you wouldn’t forget as he raised the hand that wasn’t holding the ice pack in surrender.   Letting out a small huff you instead opted to grab your wine glass and drink the rest of the nearly full cup. “Look I could care less that you’re part of the fatui. While I don’t appreciate the fact you were going to kidnap me in order to get my ex to pay back his debt, I do understand why didn’t make yourself known all these years.” A guilty look overtook Childe’s face, one that made your heart ache, but you kept going. “We could have worked things out, I could have learned to protect myself better and you could continue to do your job. I understand you wanted to protect me physically, but you gravely miscalculated when it came to mentally protecting me.”  There was a beat of silence before Childe spoke, his words carrying an emotion you weren’t sure you could identify. Three words that carried so much meaning and heart, there wasn’t a doubt in your mind that he didn’t mean them. “I’m truly sorry.” 

Silence overtook your apartment once more, yet it was somehow lighter than the last wave. A mutual understanding, and forgiveness. Sure your soulmate was an idiot for not contacting you, and sure you could have not thrown a book at his head, but he was there. And so no words were exchanged as you rose from your chair and sat down next to Childe, leaning against his chest as he wrapped his free arm around your waist. You would figure the rest out later, but for now it was just the two of you- and you were perfectly fine with that.

“So would it be too much to ask for a kiss?” “Don’t push your luck pretty boy.”

[losingitinjersey]

We’re going to ......................................................................................................... ................................................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................... Philadelphia!

Say what?!  Definitely not a location we anticipated or even really considered going to which is what makes Match Day all the more exciting!  You never really know where you’ll end up!!  

But FIRST, we’ll spend this next year locally for his intern year and move in spring/summer of 2022 to go to Philly for the next four+ years!  While this program was much further down on his rank list than we anticipated dropping to, it was still in the middle and we’re really excited about this next adventure!!  Neither one of us have ever been to Philadelphia before but everyone we mention this to always has some kind of connection to the place and they’re all positive stories!  It’s also important to note that I’ll be less than 3 hours from my sister and only an hour and a half from @zerocarb!!!

The great thing about this set up is it gives us a year to get familiar with the idea and we can spend our time finding a home to buy or rent in a good neighborhood before going.  It’s also close enough (5 hours) that we can drive and look at places in advance so we don’t have to buy/rent something sight unseen.  

The not so great thing about our current situation is that even though we’re staying local, we still need to move out of our current home asap because the landlord is in full swing ready to sell.  Like, is listing the home next Friday (my birthday) with showings starting on April 1st.  Super lame.  

Now that we FINALLY know what’s happening, I spent all of Friday night searching the area trying to find acceptable homes to rent as quickly as possible.  Most of the rentals aren’t available until May 15th or June 1st which definitely isn’t fast enough.  Friday night I contacted four properties and have only heard back from two (but at least I’ve heard from two!)  Thankfully, one of the places who I’ve been in communication with is my current top choice.  While it’s not as nice as some of the other places, the cost is more reasonable and the commute is FAR better for Kevin (went from 35 minutes to the hospital down to 10 minutes).  We have a tour scheduled for Tuesday at 3:30 p.m. to see this home.  We already submitted a rental application in advance just to help move the process along since we’d love to sign a lease starting April 1st (you know, TWELVE DAYS from now) so we can gtfo before people start touring the home.  

Before the call with my landlord this afternoon to fill us in on their timing, I had no idea we’d be saying goodbye to this home we adore so quickly.  I *knew* it was coming but it’s always hard to reach an ending.  I’m not a fan of change and, boy oh boy, is change all around us right now (new job, new home, new city, new baby).  

It’s interesting, I’ve been so focused on the excitement and what it means, looking up houses and just being on full blown planning mode (yes, of course I made a spreadsheet with 11 categories all ranked by preference, price and distance) I haven’t really had time to process.  This morning I had a song stuck in my head so I decided to play it to fully enjoy it and the next thing I knew, two seconds into the song, I was sobbing.  Not sad tears by any means, but just letting go.  Mourning the loss of this home, my walking route, my neighbors, my grocery store, everything I’ve cultivated and loved the last four years.  The song?  Take A Chance on Me, by ABBA :) Not really a song that should elicit such emotion.  It was good though, healing.  

In other news, my mom is here :) Not my dad, sadly.  He got "a little bug” from his recent 10-day trip to Haiti that he took to do some mission work.  Whhhyyyy he went to Haiti the day after getting his second vaccination dose and returning only four days before his trip out here is beyond me. Stupid, big-hearted man. Hopefully he’ll feel better soon so he can join my mom sometime this week.  My mom only just arrived at 5 p.m. tonight so the 30 minutes she got to spend with erp was just so precious.  We weren’t sure how erp would react to finally seeing the person she video chats with every day in person but she was so freaking pleasant and charming and just GOOD for her.  I can’t wait to see how they’ll interact together tomorrow!  

Speaking of tomorrow, we’re going to an open house for another house I’m not that into (but I need options just in case).  While we’re on the peninsula we’ll drive by the house we applied for and a few others I’ve identified.  It’ll be a nice trip for Kevin and I while my mom and erp hang.  

To make a long post even longer... Backtracking to yesterday (seems so long ago), Match Day was amazing.  This really is the most important day of a med student’s entire four years - way more so than even graduation.  I’m glad we opted to do the in-person option.  Seeing all the faculty SO freaking stoked to celebrate Kevin, congratulate him and just cheer over my husband was so inspiring.  I actually teared up a lot from being so overwhelmed with the appreciation and affirmation he was receiving (thank goodness for the mask covering half my contoured face).  

What was equally special was that he got to show off erp for the first time.  Holding her with such pride as he strutted through the lines of faculty and volunteers.  Having people oooh and awwhh over her is an experience we rarely get to have in this covid world.  Apparently erp was clinging so tightly to him!!  She’s never been around so many people, lights, sights and sounds before.  She didn’t cry or make a fuss at all but definitely clung to home base.  

We celebrated by picking up cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory and reveled in the exciting news of the day.  We keep stopping each other and exclaiming, “We’re going to Philly!”

All in all, we’re excited!  We’re stressed.  We’re taking action and leaning on each other.  Looking forward to this transition part to be over but trying to enjoy the journey while we’re on it.  Thank you for riding along with us :)

[treasureswordsgirl55]

Come Back

Character: James Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes / Fem!Reader (OC)

Inspired By (Song): Tu fotografía - Gloria Estefan

Warnings: Fluff. So much Angst. Insecurities. Post! Snap. Post!Avengers Endgame. Pre TFATWS.

Author’s Note: Hello. Hello. Hello. I hope everyone’s ok.

This fic is a second part of “Dust”. When I wrote Dust, automatically thought on a second part, and maybe It would be so so long posted in one post.

(If you don’t know, I write in the night) so… This is the final part of this fic. As always say, it’s a pleasure write with Bucky and maybe, just maybe, write a novel with him just to pull out of off my head.

Part 1 is here

He’s other of my movie’s crush with Poe Dameron. And Loki too. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ps: The gif isn't mine. (I don't remember who is the creator)

Again, thanks u for the likes, comments and reblogs. Always made me smile to know that my stories makes you fun a little.

So I hope you like this one. XOXO 💋

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I’m driving on the highway at a considerable speed trying to get to my destination quickly. The letter that Steve sent me through those FBI mens is on the passenger seat unopened but I know it contains something important.

His messages were always important.

I barely see out of the window that the great building of Avengers Headquarters appears in my vision, and I feel my heart race. Although I had never been there, something made me even more nervous.

I get out of the car quickly and before even crossing the doors of the building, I see that many people leave, some crying, others hugging others and some running quickly towards taxis that are stopped in the streets near it. The destinations were very different: Some went to the center, others that went to the different government offices and others directly to the airport.

What’s happening?

A police officer stops me and asks for my identification. The only thing I have with me is my little blue backpack and Steve’s letter in my hand.

I think about whether to show him the letter, but I open it and take out from inside it, a folded sheet of paper and a small card, as if it were a driver’s license, and I give it to the officer who steps away only when he sees it, indicating that I should enter through another of the doors that were empty. From a distance I can barely see the different sheets of paper stuck to the side of one of the doors where many people were reading and walking towards the taxis. The officer guides me until I enter through a door that could be for a giant and I sneak past what appear to be luxury cars totally covered by blue tarps.

- We were waiting for you, Miss Porter - The artificial voice makes me jump with fright and I turn towards the void, looking for the source where it comes from; but I can’t see a speaker, far from it, someone nearby - I’m sorry to scare you, my name is FRIDAY, I’m one of Mr. Stark’s technological assistants.

Stark. How long since I heard anything about that last name.

- It's nothing. You just took me by surprise - I deny as I walk through that empty corridor and I see through the tinted windows how people are hugging, as if they had not seen each other a long time ago - What am I doing here? Why don’t the others come in this way?

- I’m sorry it was like that. Let me ask you a question: Did you read Captain Rogers’ letter? It was his exclusive request that you enter through here.

- No … - I answer lost in my thoughts and squeeze the letter in my hands, as if it were some kind of stress reliever that I had learned to use over the years, while I pay attention to the couple that is a few meters from me , who seems to be eager to touch, as if they have not been together a long time - I’ll do it at home.

- You must do it now before entering the main room.

I suddenly look at the threshold where I see silhouettes of people walking quickly from one side to the other. My breath catches in my throat as I feel fear invade me. What am I afraid of? Steve is on the other side waiting for me to give me another bad news? Tell me that he was gone forever like that time five years ago?

- Let me assure you that the content of that letter will not make you suffer more than you have suffered in these five years, Miss Porter.

I look at the letter and curse while I mentally complain about the ease I have to express my emotions, even more so when the opinion comes, from what I suppose, it is an AI.

- And how do you know that? How do you know that I suffered?

- Because Captain Rogers specially asked me to remind you if you didn’t get to read it - I laugh as I remember the many calls during my last two weeks of school, and the times I preferred to press the end button in order not to listen to Steve ask me if I was okay when we were both fully aware that neither he or I were - I know it was very hard for both you, and Captain Rogers, the loss of Sergeant Barnes.

Hearing his last name was as if someone had hit the pit of my stomach and the air suddenly escaped, without giving me the possibility of recovering it.

I try to take a deep breath but barely manage to take in a small breath of air before I feel a tear fall down my cheek.

It hadn’t been long since the snap when I realized how much I missed Bucky.

- It was not necessary to remember something that I’m still trying to forget.

I mumble as I walk to the door and hear children’s laughter, whispers about whether they were okay or how long they were out - What is out there?

- You must see it by yourself, miss. Let me tell you something: Captain Rogers was very sorry that he couldn’t say goodbye to you as he would have liked, but he wants you to know that he appreciates you in ways you can’t imagine.

- Thanks FRIDAY. He went on a trip?

- To live his life, miss. And he hopes that he can give it back some of yours.

I frown at her words and feel a breeze of fresh air come through the door and as soon as I cross the threshold, I hear Friday say the words that nail me to the place.

- Sergeant Barnes is waiting for you. He will be eager to see you again.

Bucky? Was this a joke? I try to open the note quickly but my fingers seem not to want to collaborate between the tremors and the nerves. How likely was the AI ​​to be wrong?

None.

As soon as I open the note I see some scribbles that I understand as the date, which is from a few days ago, and I read it quickly looking for those words that tell me that what FRIDAY said is true.

“I’m sorry I can’t say goodbye to you, Emma. I wish I could tell you this in person, but the circumstances of my trip make it impossible. What I can tell you is that I’ll be fine and that I’m coming home. It was a pleasure. meet you and I want you to do me a favor: Take care of him. He always looked after me, now it’s time for someone to take care of him. That idiot won the lottery with you, Emma. And you must make him notice it every day of his life. This is my gift to you, I know I couldn’t promise anything five years ago, but we did it, we won and James is here for you. I hope that’s enough. ”

I put my hands to my mouth, suppressing a sob, without finishing reading the letter and when I start looking for it with my eyes among so many people. Suddenly reality hits me: The people who were here, running, hugging, crying were those who had disappeared with the snap.

My God … He was here.

I walk towards one of the men who is dressed in red, with the Médecins Sans Frontières insignia and the words are stuck in my throat.

- Are you looking for someone special? Could you give me the details?

- Barnes. He’s here … Or so they told me - I keep looking with my eyes but I can’t make out anyone I usually know. There was no sign of either Natasha or Sam - Sam Wilson? He’s his partner.

The man looks at me as if horns have come out of my head and he approaches another young woman in black, who sees me and only nods to him. I show her the credential without waiting for an answer and she simply indicates the door that is a few meters from us.

- Porter, right? - I nod as if he were a robot and indicates the door to me again - Main hall. Gate 6.

- Thank you - I run while avoiding people, children who run into the arms of their parents and push others, but no one complains. As soon as I get to the door and let people in, I see Sam in the distance that he’s talking to someone I can’t recognize. Something inside me ignites and I feel my heart beating again. I can handle the urge to cry as much as I can but I can’t, as I feel the heat invade my cheeks.

He diverts attention from who’s talking to him, he sees me and starts laughing. That complicit and funny laugh that I haven’t seen in someone for a long time. Everything had become so sad that it seemed to be in a black and white movie. I can barely get Bucky’s name off my lips when Sam nods in my direction and slaps the arm of the man in front of him. He shakes his head, visibly annoyed, but Sam indicates where I am, making the stranger turn around.

I hold back a sigh as soon as I see him turn and look in Sam’s direction but he doesn’t seem to see me. People who cross between the two prevent it. His long hair was gone and a new haircut made him look more confident. Even more attractive. His eyes were still sad but in a way that I couldn’t quite interpret.

Good God, the need to touch him was such that it seemed to me that I was in a dream and that none of it was real.

I try to scream his name through the murmur but nothing comes out of my mouth and when I try again, the tears prevent me from speaking.

I walk quickly, closing the distance between us, but before I even reach the middle, fear takes hold of me again.

What if he doesn’t remember me in the same way that I remember him?

I see Sam roll his eyes as he grabs his shoulders, turns him around, and points him right in my direction: once our gazes meet, I can’t hold back the tears.

The only answer I get is a smile.

We both rush towards each other and I hardly feel the air getting heavy, I wrap my arms around him, as if he might disappear at any moment.

- You’re here. You don’t know how much I cried for you - I hear his laugh while I feel his lips leave kisses on my hair, as his hands try to touch any part of me that is within reach and as soon as he takes me by the arms he pulls me away, observing me from above down - I thought you were just another illusion in my head.

- Is it really you, Emma? - He hugged me again and I hear Sam mutter as he passed something about how “cheesy” we looked - You look different.

-You were gone for a long time, James - he murmured against his chest while I enjoy the heat that his body gives off as well as the accelerated beats of his heart that are coupled with mine - When Steve told me that you had gone …

- Shh … don’t remember. I’m here, doll. I will never leave again.

He pulls away just to look at me for a few moments, I don’t know if he was looking for something or trying to remember something, but he just raised his hand to wipe the tears that were falling down my cheek.

- I have to catch you up on things here. - I try to get Steve’s letter out of my pocket but Bucky makes me look at him again.

- Before that….

The last thing my brain analyzes is the softness of his lips against mine. A gentle pressure and I feel like the floor disappears under me. I try to get up on tiptoe to get up to him and run my hands on his shoulders trying to bring him closer, but all I can do is wrap his arms around me and get even closer to him. I let my fingers play with his short hair and I love that feeling.

Hell, I missed his presence so much that it was hard for me to think about never having him around again.

He pulled me for air and I can tell his cheeks are just as red as mine - Bucky I …

-You don’t know how long I wanted to do that.

- For 6 years? - I joke as I approach again and take him by the hand.

- How old are you, Emma? The first time I met you, you were 25.

- I will turn 31 next week - I admit as he shakes his head and looks for someone with his eyes, when he does not find him, he lets out a growl - Who are you looking for?

- Sam. I’ll tell him we’re leaving - Answer my mental question and gently pull me towards one of the secluded rooms of the building where I hear murmurs from other people - I’ll catch up with you, doll.

I feel my cheeks heat up as I brake, causing Bucky to tense up - What do you mean?

- We will catch up on all aspects and I swear to you that you will hardly leave my department - I try to laugh but all I get is that a gasp escapes my lips causing me to give me a playful smile - In that aspect too, doll .

- Before you two go to do the things that are you going to do - I hear Sam’s voice in the distance and as soon as it enters our field of vision, I see him snorting - You know you must be with Raynor on Monday at 9 o'clock. Truth?

- And you had to remind me now?

- Yes, because I know you will not answer my messages and she will be the one who will remind you when you want to forget about it. Your head depends on it, Buck.

- Do not call me that way.

- Come on old man, go enjoy your life and stop getting mad at the world. You’re back and with your girl, and will you still be upset because I call you like Steve did?

I shift my gaze from one to the other and Bucky just extends his hand to Sam, who shakes it without hesitation.

- Take care of yourself, Wilson.

- You too Barnes. If you need me, you know where to find me.

I pulled me away from Bucky as I walk to the door and I feel like some of the pain is gone even though I still can’t assimilate that that’s true.

- Let’s go, doll?

- Let’s go.

[break-me-kacchan]

One hundred sleepless nights

Word count: 3930. 

I was thinking about making this a small series. Let me know if you would like a part two please.

Summary: I thought of doing a little story based on the song one hundred sleepless nights- Pierce the Veil. You and Bakugo were fuck buddies. Have been for years when the unthinkable happens. 

****************************************************************

A text that read “He’s gone, come on over” was all Bakugo needed to finish what he was working on and to head over to your home. Every time Bakugo pulled up to your home he always felt annoyance prick at the back of his skull. He could give you this big house and all the finer things you had come accustomed to with the addition of a caring partner. Not one that slept around with other women and certainly not one that would let you stray and become another man’s lover.

He slid out of the driver seat of the vehicle he was driving and clicked the lock button as he took the steps down the front path to your front door. He paused on your front porch; this part was still awkward for him. The choice between opening the door or knocking. He stood his head hung a little low as his fists clenched and un-clenched. He was lost in thought and did not notice you opened the door until you cleared your throat.

His head whipped up a smile creeping onto his features but when he saw your tear-stained eyes the smile stopped completely.

He rushed over to you as you stood one hand on the door and the other shoved into the pocket of Bakugo’s hoodie you were wearing.

“Love. What’s wrong?” Bakugo asked rushing forward to pull you into his embrace. Your head rested against his strong chest as your breath drew in his sweet smell. You relaxed slightly but only long enough for another sob to rack your body as it pressed against his chest.

He never wanted to see you like this, not even in the beginning.

*FLASH BACK*

You stood in the corner wearing an 8 thousand dollar dress your husband picked out for you. You gulped back the rest of the champagne in your hand before placing the glass on the tray of the waiter passing by and grabbed another glass.

Your husband was a well-known scientist. He assisted heroes with making adjustment to the equipment they use and their costumes. He was brilliant and when he asked you to marry him at such a young age you were blind. You agreed and just after your 18th birthday you were wed to your high school sweetheart.

Here you were, wearing a beautiful; backless; emerald floor length gown. The Hero Gala, where heroes spoke with the men and women who helped them upgrade their hero gear needs. Also, company awards were going to be given out, by your husband of course. Your husband, the man you haven’t seen in almost 3 weeks, returned this morning from his vacation with his mistress just for this Gala his company was holding.

It wasn’t always like this between you and the man that you married. It was good once but he started to make a name for himself and suddenly you weren’t the only one he wanted to scream his name.

He started to change though. You noticed after moving into your first home that things were different. You cooked dinner and made your husband’s lunch as you always did, even when the two of you had plenty money, you continued because you thought he liked the love notes and special snacks. Long story short he didn’t and it wasn’t until your husband was a big shot in his company getting ready to venture out on his own you noticed he didn’t.

The lunch you had made for years was left in the fridge every time you got up to start your day lately. He no longer came home for dinner and finally he slept out at least 3 nights a week. You knew what was happening but refused to believe it, at least you tried until you went to his office to see if he wanted to enjoy lunch with you and that’s when you caught him. Pants around his ankles and his hands gripping some intern’s hair as he bobbed her head back and forth.

By the time your husband noticed you it was already too late.

When the two of you spoke about it he had said he had love for you but wasn’t in love with you anymore. You understood, he was amazing, of course he felt this way about you. When he had all those other women of course he didn’t care for you like that anymore. He didn’t want you leaving even though he was the one who stepped out. All he could think of would be the scandal for his new forming company. He suggested an open relationship and suggested you have “friends” as well.

So there you stood, in the corner drinking champagne by the mouth full, grabbing another glass every time someone carrying a tray passed by. Feeling a little tipsy you stepped out onto the balcony behind you and you huffed against the railing over looking the gardens below.

You leaned over the railing slightly and looked down at the drop. It was maybe 20-25 feet.

“I wouldn’t jump if I were you, I might have to jump into save you.” The voice startled you. Turning quickly to see who was speaking you nudged the glass sitting next to you and it came crashing down below in the ground.

“Fuck, you scared me and now my drinks gone.” You breathlessly replied to the voice. Staring at the dark figure that was blocked by the shadow of the doorway.

You heard a chuckle and then saw the figure step forward into the moon light. ‘That’s Ground zero’ You thought to yourself. Your husband worked on the new improvement to his old cuffs. You know because you heard your husband talk about having issues with some of the improvements Bakugo asked for.

“Here.” Bakugo held out a glass of champagne and you took it, staring up at the hero.

“Thank you.” He nodded and stepped forward coming on you right side as you turned back to face the gardens. You sighed and took a sip of the glass.

Bakugo swirled the champagne in his glass and turned to the left looking at you. He could tell you were tipsy by the way your cheeks flushed as you took another sip of your glass, half way gone now since he handed it to you a moment ago.

“So what brings you out here when you could be in there mingling with everyone?” You asked as you finally looked over at the man standing next to you.

Bakugo chuckled and placed his free hand on the back of his neck rubbing it slightly.

“Tch.” You nodded you head to his answer and looked behind your shoulder back at the party going on behind the two of you.

“There’s all these damn extras in there and they keep coming up to me all flirty and easy.” It’s fucking annoying.” He huffed out and his eyes squinted in agitation. You scanned the crowd and from where you stood you could see your husband standing next to a beautiful blonde woman. He was so close to her, moving a piece of hair out of her face. Even from that far away you could see the blush on her cheeks.

“At least your husband isn’t trying to shove his dick in any girl interested.” You said nonchalantly turning back to the gardens.

At your comment Bakugo’s head turned to see exactly to what you were referring. Your husband, a man Bakugo has worked with, was whispering something in some girls ear.

“You let him do that?!” He scoffed and turned back the same way you were. He took a sip of his drink and looked at you as you spoke.

“He does what he wants, always has.” You sighed and looked down at the ring on your left hand. “I thought he loved me but I know he doesn’t. At least, not anymore. It was his suggestion to keep or marriage together while-“ Tears started to brim your eyes. It still hurt to think about.

“He goes out and fucks other women while his WIFE sleeps in a bed all alone? That’s fucked up.”

You snorted a laugh and chugged the rest of your drink. He looked over and watched you as you spoke softly.

“In the beginning sure, I let the guilt of him choosing other women take over me. I couldn’t eat, sleep or be happy.” You turned your attention to Bakugo instead of the gardens. “But you know what, I woke up one day and decided if this was going to be my life than I would live it. Now he fucks whoever and I spend my time doing things that make me happy.”

Bakugo turned his head to look at you as you closed your eyes and took in a deep breath.

“That’s still fucked up.” He grumbled.

You turned opening your eyes to look at Bakugo. His hair stuck up in different directions, his jaw line was covered in stubble, and he had the most beautiful red eyes you had ever seen. His chest was broad, and his arms were strong looking. All the alcohol wasn’t helping as you caught yourself staring and sunk your teeth into your bottom lip.

“Yeah well, when everything is fucked up you just get more fucked up.” You held your empty glass of champagne and wiggled it in the air. “Would you like to accompany me to get another drink?” You asked as you picked up the bottom of your dress with your empty hand.

Bakugo reached out and caught your wrist before you could step forward. You turned and started at his face.

“You need a real drink none of this champagne crap.” His had slid down your wrist until it clasped your hand. Your fingers intertwined with Bakugo’s and he squeezed your hand and led you through the crowd at the Heroes Gala and to the front door just as someone stepped onto the stage taking all the attention in the room so the two of you could slip out without being noticed. Once you both made it outside Bakugo handed his ticket to the valet and a car pulled up a few moments later.

Bakugo removed his hand from yours and opened the passenger side door for you. You smiled and slid into the front seat. It was funny, you’ve talked to Bakugo for 20 minutes max and he was already more of a gentleman than your husband ever was.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Your face was pushed against Bakugo’s chest as your sobs racked your body. You felt weak and sick. You couldn’t keep anything down and your husband decided to take a trip to Cancun with his mistress for the week and you felt so alone.

Well at least not entirely alone, you did have Bakugo nuzzling you into his chest and that made you feel less lonely.

“I’m so tired Katsuki.” You whimpered into the fabric of his t-shirt. Your eyes hurt from all the crying you’ve done today.

“Baby, it’s okay. Why don’t we go take a nap or something?” He moved his head from its rested place on top of yours and looked down at you. “Hmm?” He said after you continued your silence.

You moved back from him and rubbed your eyes with the corner of his sleeve. You looked up at Bakugo. A slight smile warmed at the corner of his lips and just when you thought you were done crying you started again.

The water works were uncontrollable. They came down your face in a steady stream and you gasped for air as you fell to the floor. Just before your knees hit the floor Bakugo caught you and swiftly pulled you into a bridal carry as he made his way to the couch in your gigantic living room.

“Y/N, I need you to tell me what’s wrong. I hate seeing you cry when I don’t even know why you’re upset.” He spoke softly to you as he got comfortable with you in his lap. He pulled a cover off the back of your couch and pulled it over top of you.

You looked up through your tears at the man you’ve fallen in love with. He is there for you when you need him unlike your husband who was off doing who knows.

The tears continued to flow as you looked at him and admiring his beauty. You loved him. You did, honestly. If he asked you would leave your life and your good for nothing husband and be Katsuki Bakugo’s girl but you know deep down that Bakugo is your lover and he didn’t sign up for any of this bullshit you and your husband had gotten into.

Reaching up you wiped your face again as Bakugo stared at you his eyebrows knitted in confusion his arms wrapped around your waist pressing you into his body. On occasion you had cried while he was with you but never like this. Plus, Bakugo didn’t really know what to do.

He was unsure because he isn’t a very emotional personbut he would be here for you no matter what. He wanted to be your hero, he wanted to treat you to date nights, movies and gifts on your birthday but that wasn’t his place to do that seeing as he was your mistress, and you already had a husband.

Thinking of your husband made Bakugo so angry. How someone so smart could be not only blind but fucking stupid was beyond him. If he had you he would never let you go.

“I’m tired Katsuki. I’m so tired of everything.” You finally replied to his question.

“ Okay… you said that already-“ You pushed away from Bakugo and stood up, almost loosing your balance but you caught yourself.

“No, I’m tired Katsuki, I’m tried of people I care about always leaving me. I’m tired of not feeling good enough, I’m tired of being pushed aside for someone else. I want someone to love me! I want someone to care for me that way I care! I have lived in this house for years by myself! I don’t think I can do it anymore!” You moved both of your hands to your hair and grabbed a fist full, gritting your teeth before yelling through them.

“I’m falling apart, I’m not sure if I can handle this anymore! It’s gotten out of control this whole-“

Suddenly Bakugo moved and was in front of you, grabbing your wrists. Pulling your hands from your hair he placed his lips against yours. You were so angry but as soon as his lips touched yours you melted. Your lips moving against his as his grip continued against your wrists.

He pulled away and placed his forehead against yours. You opened your eyes and met his in return.

“Your husband is a fucking idiot. He doesn’t deserve you. If you’d let me I’d tell him who your real hero is and then whisk you away where he could never find you.” Bakugo whispered and brought on of your hands to his lips and kissed the skin on the back of your hand.

You chuckled a small smile playing at your lips. You stood in front of this beautiful man and looked at him with tears-stained cheeks but he still thought you were the most beautiful person on the planet. You closed your eyes and sighed. A much as you wanted that you knew the truth.

“I can’t leave Katsuki it is more complicated than that, I’m-“ You started to tell him why you were so upset. Why you couldn’t just run away from your husband and live happily ever after, but he interrupted you.

“That makes no fucking sense Y/N! I’m offering to take you away from this shitty as life you have in this house! I want to take you with me when I leave, I want you to want to come with me!” He shouted at you as he threw his hands up in frustration dropping yours completely and turning to pace in front of you.

“Bakugo-“ You started again only to be caught off.

“It’s Katsuki!” He shouted tears brimming his eyes as he looked back over at you.

Your heart shattered and you lifted your hand to reach for him but he turned away again.

“Is he really that important to you that you’d let him walk all over you and treat you like this?! Cause given the chance I know I could do better. I think about you all the time, you are the only thing that runs through my mind! You’re going crazy? I’m going crazy being without you..” When he first spoke he screamed but as his confession lengthened he got softer. At the end he finally turned to look at you.

His eyes found yours as you stood one hand covering your mouth as you listened to his confession. Stepping forward to him testing the proximity. He didn’t move just continued to watch you. You quickly closed the space and wrapped both arms tightly around his neck standing on your tip toes.

“Katsuki, I need to tell you something.” You whispered into his ear. A blush rose to your cheeks as you thought about what you were about to say. You’ve been seeing Katsuki for a few years and had always been so careful.

“I’m pregnant.” Like word vomit it tumbled out of your mouth making you sick. The both of you were frozen against each other until Bakugo pulled you slightly away to meet his eyes.

His heart was sinking. It was over that perfect life with you he was dreaming of he will never have if your husband finds out he’s having a child. His eyes narrowed as he investigated yours.

“He must be excited.” He said as he removed your arms from around his neck. You were confused and slightly hurt. Didn’t he hear you? You said you were pregnant.

“Katsuki-“ You reached for him again but he stepped back.

“I should probably leave you alone then.” You breath got caught in your throat. “I wouldn’t wanna come in between your ‘Perfect’ family!” It was your turn to step back as his voice got loud again.

He knew that was not what you thought of your situation. Why was he acting like this towards you. Before you knew what was happening your hand reached up and hit him across the face. You were angry.

He grabbed your wrist after it connected with his cheek.

“Let go of me!” You screamed at him. The slap left Bakugo in shock, but it did clear his brain a little. He opened his mouth to reply to you when you yelled again.

“Get out of my house right now!” Your words cut him like daggers. Why were you so angry about his comment when you were carrying your husband child? Then it clicked that was her plan all along to invite him over and end things between them. ‘No’ He thought. ‘She wouldn’t do that.’

“Katsuki,” He perked up at his name and met your gaze. “Please leave.”

“Y/n. I’m sorry I’m just conf-“ He started to speak but you cut him off ripping your hand from his grasp.

“I’m serious Bakugo, I can handle this on my own since you want to act like this. GET OUT!” He flinched at the use of his last name. You rushed forward and pushed his chest with your hands as hard as you could.

He was shocked as you pushed him away and he slipped on the step leading to the entry way of your home. He landed on his ass as he stared at you. He could tell you were furious with him. You were still screaming but he couldn’t hear. Your hair was in the messiest bun he’d ever seen, his hoodie was way too big on you and your whole face was bright red. He tuned into what you were saying just as he stood up.

“-It’s not even his baby it’s yours! I haven’t slept with him in years, I’ve only ever been with you! Leave like everyone else! I can’t just run away! My whole life is tied in a big knot attached to the ring on my finger! Just get out Bakugo!” You jolted forward and pushed his chest again towards the front door.

“Just go..” You said as you pushed Bakugo towards the door again. He was in shock. You, Y/N L/N were carrying his baby in your womb. As quick as his excitement rose it faded just as fast as the situation dawned on him. He blinked a few times, and the threshold of the door caught the back of his boot making him fall for the second time.

His ass hits the stones as he looked up at you with wide eyes. You stared back at him radiating anger. He expected you to yell at him some more, but he wasn’t expecting what happened next.

You slammed the door in his face and if that wasn’t bad enough, he heard the lock slide and click into place. Bakugo sat there shocked staring at you front door hoping you would open it and invite him back in. After a few minutes he stood up dusting off his hands on his jeans.

He stepped forward and placed a hand on the door along with his forehead. He was just about to knock and yell your name when he heard you crying.

Your back was pressed against the door and your head was in your hands as you cried.

What were you expecting? A happy ending with a doating husband and a baby. No, you knew better than that. Your husband would care once he found out he was going to try to convince to stay with him and raise the baby. Your husband can’t have kids and you know this would only tie you to him further and make escape impossible.

Bakugo lifted his head deciding he cause you enough trouble today seeing as you were carrying a baby. He turned from the door and headed to his car. He looked back up at the big house.

You stood up after a moment and looked out the window near your front door and saw Bakugo standing there staring at your house. You thought he had already left. As stared out the window at the man you love you watched him turn to his car to leave.

“I love you Katsuki, maybe it could have worked if I hadn’t been so stupid.” You whispered to yourself as you placed a hand on your little baby bump. Thinking back to the agreement you made with your husband, his word chilling you to your core. ‘Any child you carry is going to be my child. They’ll be my successor.’

That was when you decided finally to take your life in your own hands. You went to your room and started shoving clothes in your suitcase. Once you were ready to leave you went out to your car throwing your suitcase in.

You stared at the big house standing in almost the same spot as Bakugo earlier. The only difference being there was no one to watch you leave. You slid into the car and started the engine, backing out of the driveway towards something new.

Little did you know your adventure would turn out to be a nightmare for one person and he was hell bent to get you back.

[sgtbradfords]

Love your writing. It is keeping me sane during these tough times.

Here is a prompt for you.

“You love me right”

Thanks a bunch-

My muse really appreciates you for this prompt anon, so thank you and enjoy!! :)

Tim Bradford’s night had started out like most others, the nightlife of the city coming to life as the sun set. The Mid-Wilshire division of the LAPD, like countless other departments has its fair share of regulars that would be brought in often. And as the Sergeant of the nightshift, he knew most of them by name.

“Good evening Carmella.” He said to the woman that was standing scantily clad at the counter, waiting to be booked.

The woman smirked. “Sergeant Bradford. Don’t you ever take a day off?”

Tim rolled his eyes. “What’d you do this time?”

“Some asshat refused to pay so, I gave him the special and the man had the nerve to call the cops on me!”

“So, assault and battery?”

“He had it coming! He was too handsy anyways.”

Tim turned his body, talking to the officer at the counter. “Make sure you get Alex down here to search her.” He instructed before his eyes glanced over the three holding cells, noticing the familiar figure sleeping on the bench. “Is that Rambling Randy?”

The officer nodded. “Yeah, they picked him up off Cornerstone about an hour ago.”

“Damn, I thought he would stay sober this time.”

“Today’s the anniversary.”

Tim nodded in understanding. “Get him sober and cut him loose. I’m laying off the paperwork for a few, heading out on the beat. Be back in an hour.”

He left holding, making his way to pick up a war bag and the camera for his vest, attaching it to its clip before grabbing a keyring off one of the small hooks on the wall, making his way out the side door that connected to the garage that held the shops.

Tim had been driving the streets, stopping at a drive-thru to grab a late-night snack, the traffic on the radio strangely quiet for a Saturday night but he was not one to question the rare night that the gods above had gifted them, and never one to stir the proverbial black kettle that held what could be brewing.

He kept the FM radio in the shop low, his thumb tapping the steering wheel to the low beat of a song he had not heard in years, as he kept a look out of his surroundings for anything that might warrant being investigated. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, he found himself sitting behind a car at a red light, his left hand on the wheel as the fingers of his right hand punched in the tag of the car in front of him, running the metal plate through the system.

“Stolen.” He muttered under his breath as the hit came back, his right hand reached forward, grabbing the mic off the dash. “7-Adam-19 to dispatch, show me out, 10851 with a red in color Nissan Altima at the corner of Reef and Franklin, license plate number 8-Bravo-Lima-5-8-Victor-1. Requesting backup at my 20.”

‘Dispatch show 07 attached to 19’s traffic, be there in two.’ came Nyla Harper’s voice over his radio.

Tim flipped the switch on the center console, lighting the car up as the red light switched to green. The car staying motionless, the driver’s foot still on the break as Tim hit the button for one of the squall sirens.

He let out a heavy sigh, rolling his eyes as he threw the shop into park, opening the door to step out of the car to tell the driver to move the car to a safer location, his right hand immediately settling on his gun. He never got the door of the shop closed when the driver of the car stepped out. Tim flung his body back behind the reenforced door, drawing his gun, positioning it in the opening between the door and the body of the car. “Driver! Return to your vehicle.”

Tim could see the person brandishing the weapon in his hand, raising the gun before Tim had the chance to control the situation. The rapid succession of nine shots echoed off the surrounding brick and block buildings as Tim returned fire, bullets ejecting to his right, empty brass hitting the pavement as he fired continuous rounds, the driver retreating to their car.

He wanted to pursue, but as he made the move to climb into the shop intense pain overtook him as he gritted his teeth, his body falling in slow motion as he harshly hit the asphalt below, the sound of a car door slamming and tires squealing ahead reverberated in his skull as nonstop pain began coursing through his body over the adrenaline and shock. Tim could feel the pain blossoming from different parts of his upper body as he held a shaking left hand to the pit of his right arm, applying pressure, blood spewing from his mouth, trailing down his chin as he felt the strong urge to cough. He held his hand to his side as he forced himself to pull his body towards the back tire of the shop, groaning at the movement. He let go of wound, bloody fingers reaching for the handheld on his waist, his finger slipping as he pressed the button on the side.

“19. Shots fired. Officer down.” He said into the radio, gasping for air as he let it fall out of his hand. He ran his hand over his forehead, his fingers feeling something slick, as his heart began beating as though it was about to burst through his chest, bringing his fingers to the front of his face, focusing his eyes on the dark red liquid. He began mumbling to himself, the taste of copper slicking his lips. He knew he needed to keep pressure on at least one of the wounds, opting for the more severe of the two wounds he knew of, moving his left hand back to his right side, the distant sounds of fast paced voices coming from the handheld swirled in his head making him dizzy.

“Bradford!” he heard a voice yell as someone shook his shoulders, slapping his face before intense pressure on his right side made him cry out in pain.  “He’s lost a lot of blood, in and out of consciousness.”

“Where’s the damn ambulance! Come on Tim, stay with me!”

Tim groaned as the pain and blood loss became too much, his mind slipping into unconsciousness.

Lucy Chen had called it an early evening after having what was a rough day. The calls were endless and the people problematic. When she walked through her apartment door at twenty minutes after six that evening, she had already ordered takeout, not in the mood to fix the tacos she had planned. She poured herself a large glass of red wine before the food was delivered and ate the meal in peace, all the while watching trashy yet entertaining reality television.

Once finished with her takeout, she placed the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, locked up the apartment and padded to her bathroom, throwing in a bath bomb and bubble bath into the tub, filling the bathtub with hot water, willing herself to relax and let go as she soaked. When the water began turning cold and her fingers welted into prunes, she pulled the plug, letting the water out as she stepped out and dried off, going about her nightly routine.

Lucy threw the covers back before climbing into bed, laying her head down on her pillow, throwing the thin covering and weighted blanket over her body as she settled in for night. She checked her phone once more, sending off a few text messages before she placed the charging phone back onto the nightstand. She fluffed and adjusted her pillows one more time, before she closed her eyes and got comfortable.

She jolted awake, feeling like she had just fallen asleep as she looked for what woke her. The constant buzzing of her phone on the nightstand making her groan as the noise stopped before it started vibrating again. Her heart raced as she fumbled for the phone, not looking at the caller as she threw back the covers.

“Chen.” She sleepily answered.

Jackson West hesitated before speaking from the other end. “Lucy…”

“What happened?” she asked as she stood, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder as she reached for the pants at the foot of the bed.

“It’s Bradford.” He said before clearing his throat. “He’s been shot.”

Lucy stopped in her tracks, her pants pulled up around her knees, her phone slipping from its hold, falling to the plush carpet as her heart stopped in her chest.

She couldn’t have heard him right. Her hand shook as she bent over, picking up the device.

“Lucy! Lucy, are you there?”

“Jackson?”

“Lucy, I’m on my way to pick you up.”

Lucy felt her bottom lip tremble. “How bad?” she whispered, quickly continuing her mission of getting dressed with shaky hands.

The other end of the phone was silent as Jackson thought of what to tell her. He had been on scene, only as they were loading him into the back of an ambulance.

“It’s not looking good.” He decided on the truth as he pulled his shop into the parking lot for their apartment.

“Fuck.” Cursed Lucy as she hung up the phone, sliding the device into her pants pocket. She tried to hold back her emotions, her body trembling at the overwhelming need to cry, as sobs began wracking her body. She never heard Jackson enter the apartment, his voice echoing off the walls as he quickly ran to his roommate’s room.

“Lucy. Lucy come on, we’ll head to the hospital.” He said as he walked over to the bed. Lucy got to her feet, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand before she moved to the corner of the room, grabbing a pair of slip-ons, sliding them onto her feet.

The two quickly made their way back outside, jumping back into Jackson’s waiting shop.

“What happened?” she asked sniffling as she chastised herself, ‘You’ve had your sob fest Lucy now it’s time to suck it up.’

Jackson steered the car out of the lot, flipping the switch for the lights. ‘Rules and regulations be damned.’ He thought as he cautiously went through a red light, checking both ways as he proceeded through.

“He ran a plate at a stop light and it came back stolen, requested back-up, Nyla checked in but was two minutes out. Next thing we know he was screaming over the radio that shots had been fired and he was down.”

“And the person that shot him?”

“Ran. I’m sorry Lucy, they’ve put out a BOLO and everything.” He said as he flipped the top of his laptop up, punching in his login.

Lucy turned the console towards her, scrolling through the list of active calls, finding the script of the BOLO being broadcasted throughout Los Angeles and the surrounding counties. She read it over, taking in all the details that she could as Jackson got them to the hospital.

“He’s going to be ok Lucy.”

She did not know why Jackson was trying to convince herself of that. They were just friends, close friends, her former training officer, but nothing more. Though, it was Tim, the most strong-willed person she knew. Lucy kept her thoughts to herself, knowing if she opened her mouth, something she didn’t want to admit may force its way out and that was something she could not handle at the time.

Instead, she looked out the windshield, watching as everything outside passed by in a blur before she found the car being turned into the ambulance bay of the hospital, Lucy opening her door before Jackson had the chance to put the shop into park. She ran through the automatic doors, straight to the admittance desk.

“Sergeant Tim Bradford, he was brought in with multiple GSWs.”

The nurse behind the desk briefly glanced at Lucy before returning to the chart in her hand.

“You’ll have to wait in the waiting room Miss.”

Lucy’s mouth opened in disbelief before coming up with a lie on the spot as Jackson joined her side. “He’s my former partner and fiancée, please.”

The woman looked at her with sympathy as she stood up from the desk, walking out from behind. “Ms.?”

“Chen. Lucy Chen.”

“Ms. Chen, you can wait in the surgical waiting room on the third floor, but I cannot let you see him, they’ve already got him prepped and being moved.”

“He’s being taken to surgery?”

“Yes. If you will give me just a second, I can contact Dr. Follari and let his scrub nurse know that you’re here, hopefully one of them can tell you more about his injuries before they begin.”

Lucy nodded in appreciation. “Thank you.”

“Why don’t you two round up the others and head on up there, I will make sure they know you’re here.” She said as she picked up the phone on the desk.

Lucy made her way to the elevators down the hall as Jackson rounded up Nyla and the other officers who escorted the ambulance in.

The officer made it to the waiting area, pacing a trail in front of the secure wooden doors that led to the operating rooms, her pacing coming to a halt as the doors opened.

“Ms. Chen? I’m Tiffany Higdon, Dr. Follari’s scrub nurse. Would you care to sit?” the woman dressed in green scrubs, a mask hanging from around her neck and a light blue surgical cap covering her head asked, extending a hand towards the row of empty chairs.

“I don’t think I can sit right now.”

“Understandable. I will try to come out and give updates when I can, but Sergeant Bradford is facing a very long couple of hours.”

“What are his injuries?”

“He was shot three times. His vest caught one of the bullets, X-ray showed two cracked ribs on his lower right side. Another one grazed the side of his head, luckily, he just needed stitches for that one. But the one of most concern missed his vest, striking him in the upper right quadrant, just below his armpit. While treating him in the field they found that the bullet had stuck his lung, causing it to collapse, they inserted a chest tube before stabilizing him for transport. But when he went through the CAT scan, we found it also hit is spleen and a small part of his intestines.”

“Ok.” Lucy whispered. “And his chances?”

“Are promising. Dr. Follari is doing everything he can for your fiancée Ms. Chen.”

“How long they expecting the surgery to take?” Nyla asked from Lucy’s left side, Lucy giving the senior officer an appreciate nod.

“Three to four hours, give or take. Once he is stable and sewed up, we will move him to the ICU for a few days to monitor his healing and if he shows improvement then we will move him to a normal room.”

“How long till he’s back in the field? He’ll be wanting up and out as soon as he wakes up.”

“That all depends on him and Dr. Follari. I’ve seen patients recover from these injuries in four months or take three times as long. I’m no doctor but if he is that dedicated, I would say Sergeant Bradford could return to desk duty in fourteen to sixteen weeks. Now, I really must get back unless you have any other questions?” informed the scrub nurse.

“Not right now, no.”

“I’ll try to come back and give you an update when were halfway through and Dr. Follari always keeps his patients families update after the surgery and moving forward. If anyone was to work on my husband, I would want him.”

Lucy nodded her head as the nurse scanned her card for re-entry. Taking in a shaky breath before turning around to face her brothers and sisters in blue.

“Chen!” Yelled Angela Lopez as she stepped off the elevator, pushing past the others in the hall. “I got here as soon as I heard. Tim, is he ok?”

Lucy stared ahead, “No.”

Angela’s tear-filled eyes grew wide. “He’s not de-“

“No.” she said quietly. “He’s- he’s in surgery. It’s not- it doesn’t-“

“How’d you find this out? Normally they only talk to family.”

Lucy laughed somberly as she shrugged. “I lied and told them I was his fiancée. I mean we are his family, the only family he’s got.”

“He’ll be fine. He is Tim Bradford after all.” Nyla told the small group in confidence. “Come on West, we’re still on duty and someone out there has to track down the son of a bitch.”

Angela, Nyla and Jackson exchanged a look before the two still on duty made their way to the elevator. Lucy fell back into one of the vinyl navy chairs that sat around the room.

“How bad is it Lucy?” Angela asked, taking a seat next to her friend.

“He took three hits. One caught his vest, another grazed his head and the last… they said it hit his lung, among other things.”

“Damn.”

“Recovery is a minimum of four months which he is going to love.” She said, rolling her eyes.

The two sat in the uncomfortable chairs, Lucy asking about Angela’s baby, both the women talking about things happening in the department when Captain Wade Grey stepped off the elevator in his plain clothes, walking into the waiting room. Both women stood up as the commanding officer spoke.

“Has anyone spoken to the doctor?”

“No sir, the scrub nurse came right after they took him back.”

“What are his injuries?”

Lucy relayed to him the extent of her former training officers’ injuries and likely recover time, the Captain cursing under his breath.

“Bradford managed to fire off twelve rounds, based on the casings found by his shop. Unclear, if he hit the person but no one has showed up at any of the hospitals. Detectives have taken the dash cam footage and were on their way here to get his body camera.”

“Good. That’s good right?”

“It would be if the car wasn’t reported stolen and they weren’t in gang territory. Odds are the car’s been ditched somewhere or at a chop shop and the shooter will remain at large.”

“But it might not be gang related.”

Angela spoke up. “Once we review the footage from both cameras, then we can get a better idea of who and build a portfolio for another BOLO.”

They sat in silence, time passing as the occasional call over the intercom and noise from down the hall made its way to where they sat. Angela had just stood, asking if anyone wanted something to drink when the ringing of Captain Grey’s phone echoed through the room.

“Grey. Understood, I’m on my way.” He said into his phone, standing. “That was Detective Hall, there’s been a GSW matching the description of our shooter show up at Shaw Memorial. It may be nothing.”

Lucy’s pulse quickened. “Or it could be something.”

Wade nodded. “I’m going to go check in to it. Detective Lopez, keep me updated?”

“Yes sir.”

Six hours later Tim was stitched and sewed, laying on a hospital bed in the intensive care unit. Lucy had left the room to grab something to eat and drink from the store in the cafeteria, leaving Angela to sit at his bedside.

“You better be ok Bradford.” She said, talking to the unconscious man. “If not for me, then for her.”

Angela took in the things she could see, the bandage on the side of his head, covering his new scar, his hair cut to military precision. The paleness of his skin and dark bags under his eyes, contrasting each other. The machinery causing various noises, the heart monitor consistently beeping, showing signs of life, the ventilator running oxygen from the machine to his lungs via the tube secured to his face.

“You’ve never been hurt this bad and it scares the shit out of me. But you’re Tim and you will get through this.”

Angela sat at his bedside, talking about the most random of things, when an alarm went off, the Detective noticing the heartrate on the monitor spiking. Two nurses came running into the room as she jumped to her feet, moving out of the way.

“Tim? Bradford, can you hear me?”

Tim could hear a familiar voice speak through the thick fog he had in his head, the voice he knew to be so calm was anything but as it sounded miles away. He so desperately wanted to speak but before he could try, he felt himself unable to fight to stay awake as he was pulled back under.

Angela felt hopeless as she stood back against the wall, watching the two nurses that had rushed in as they adjusted the pump attached to the IV pole and checked his vitals.

“He’s showing signs of coming around, but Dr. Follari wants to leave him on life support for the rest of the day to give his lungs more time to adjust. We will continue to keep him sedated but we should be able to take him off the machine tomorrow.”

“And being on life support, he’s ok?”

The nurse smiled. “He is, his vitals are fine, the machine is just taking some stress off his body.”

Angela nodded as Lucy walked back in holding two coffees, immediately noticing the two nurses. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, they were just checking his vitals.”

Lucy gave her a dubious look as she handed over one of the coffees but said nothing as she sat down in the window, watching the glow of the city below as the night began to turn to day.

They took turns, making sure someone was always there, whether it was sitting by his bed filling out reports, feeding a baby, scrolling through social media, or playing cards, the shifts would alternate between the close group of friends. Jackson and Nyla both came in after shift the morning after. Jackson dragging a struggling Lucy away for a few hours of sleep at their apartment as Nyla pushed Angela out the door to go check on her baby. Angela came back later that afternoon, a baby in tow until John relieved her that evening. Jackson bringing back a partially refreshed Lucy, releasing John to go on shift, as the two roommates stayed the night.

The next morning Dr. Follari came by for his morning rounds, checking on who he liked to call his ‘most stubborn patient’, the good doctor having checked in on them several times day over the past forty-eight hours.

“I think he’s ready to come off life support.” He said as he pulled his stethoscope away and checked the bandage on his side. “We’ve gradually been decreasing the sedative and he’s responding well.”

Lucy smiled as they removed the tube from down his throat, moving his bed from the reclined position he had been in to more of an incline position, sitting him up.

“It will be a few hours before he comes around, even then it will likely be short-term as his body begins to readjust from being under for so long. In the meantime, we will move him out of the ICU and to another room.”

Lucy quickly sent out a message on the group text as the Doctor walked out of the room, keeping the ones not present aware of the good news. The group of officers unanimously making the decision to gather tonight, even if it was only for a few minutes as to not overwhelm their friend.

Tim did come around for a minute, enough to inconspicuously take in his surroundings before deciding it was safe, falling back asleep.

The rest of the day moved by at a snail’s pace, two orderly’s moving Tim down a floor, to a new room as Lucy and Jackson quickly gathered all the odds and ends in Tim’s old room, transferring the belongings that had made their way into the hospital.

“Rummy on the board!” Lucy yelled, gloating as John pouted. She pulled the card out of the discard pile, placing it with her matches. “Looks like you might need to get a pair of focals old man. Don’t worry my dad has to wear them too.”

“That’s not fair Lucy. You can’t call rummy when I haven’t laid down a card!”

“Life’s not fair Nolan.” Nyla said from her spot in the window, where she sat scrolling through her phone.

“You’re just taking her side because she paid for lunch.” Pointed out John.

“Touché.”

Lucy’s mouth fell open in shock. “See if I buy you two lunch again.”

They both shrugged as Angela and Wesley walked through the door, one carrying grocery bags of takeout, the other a baby carrier, Jackson following close behind.

“What’d we miss?” Angela asked, setting the carrier down onto the bed, careful not to hit Tim’s leg.

“About ten hands of Rummy. Did you bring food?”

“In the bag. Who won?”

“Chen beat Nolan seven out of ten, though she cheated, she always does.” A scratchy voice spoke from the bed. “Oh, and Harper is a sore loser.”

“Am not!” she defended.

Tim cracked an eye open. “You quit after three hands.”

Nyla glared before breaking out into a grin.

“So, who died?” he asked, opening both eyes, looking around the room. Everyone around the room let out a chuckle at his attempt at humor in the situation, Wesley handing him a cup of water which he greedily took, taking sips of the cold liquid. “No seriously, someone fill me in here cause everything up here,” he said grimacing as he attempted to lift his right arm, failing to do so. “up there, is a little foggy.”

“What do you remember?” Angela asked, removing the sleeping infant from their carrier, placing the child on her shoulder as Jackson began digging into the takeout bags of food, divvying everyone their order.

Tim closed his eyes, trying to push away the fog that still lingered. “Traffic stop. Suspect wasn’t moving the car out of the road after I lit them up so, I got out to see what the holdup was.” He recalled, before opening his eyes. “It all happened fast.”

“Don’t try to remember right now, you’ve got time. Hall will be by in the morning to take your statement.”

“Have they at least caught the guy?”

Angela smiled. “They did, this morning. Someone almost hit him with the shop.”

The group turned, looking at Nyla who shrugged. “He was running away and well, driving is faster.”

“Thanks Harper.” He nodded, a bad move he realized, grimacing once again, this time at the uncomfortable twinge of skin coming from above his right ear. “So, how bad did they slice and dice me?”

“Three hits.” Lucy softly spoke from the side of the bed. “Vest took one, gave you some cracked ribs. Head took a graze, you have sixteen stiches above your right ear and a new haircut. The worst missed your vest, hitting your lung and spleen.”

Tim’s face dropped. “Damn.”

“You scared the shit out us Bradford.”

“Yeah well, being shot isn’t all shits and giggles.”

The group ate, bringing Tim up to speed on the things he had missed as a nurse came in to check on him, glad to find him alert and oriented before she left to notify Dr. Follari.

The group slowly filed out, one by one, making sure Tim knew they would be back by tomorrow. Nyla leaving to pick up Lila, Jackson leaving to meet Sterling, and John leaving due to an early shift the next day, leaving Wesley, Angela, and Lucy in the room as Tim found himself cuddling his favorite and only godchild in his good arm. But soon the infant started becoming restless, being thrown off their routine, the family knew it was time to leave.

“So, boot,” he sighed, embracing the silence of the room as he closed his eyes. “what’d I miss?”

Lucy stared at the man in front of her as she took in a deep breath. “I thought I almost lost you.” Lucy quietly confessed, her hand reaching for his that was laying on the bed before she found herself jumping at the loud knock on the wooden door before it opened once again.

“I hear that my most popular patient is awake.” Dr. Follari said with a smile as he walked into the room, rubbing his hands together, spreading the foam hand sanitizer from the hall.

“Doctor Frankenstein I assume?”

The doctor let out a laugh as he walked over to his bedside. “Not quite, I’m Doctor Follari. How are we feeling Mr. Bradford?”

Tim sighed, taking in as deep a breath that he could. “As good as new I guess.”

“Now, Sergeant Bradford tell me the truth and nothing but the truth.”

“Ha.” Tim glared. “Fine. Everything from the chest up hurts some parts more than others.”

“We’ve been managing your morphine for you, but you will find a switch on the rail that will allow you a certain amount of medicine every couple of hours, hit the button and it will release a dosage to help with the pain.”

“I won’t need it.” He said exasperatedly as Lucy glared at her former training officer. “Often.”

“You will be in control of your pain management, but based on everything you’re telling me, you would be better off using it, at least for the next day or so. Your body has just been through a traumatic experience, it needs to heal and for that to happen you need to rest. Tell me Tim, have you ever had a major surgery like what you just had?”

“Yes.”

“Really?” the doctor said curiously. “It wasn’t in your file.”

“Afghanistan.”

The doctor nodded. “I see. Then, you understand what the coming months will look like.”

“Unfortunately.” He grumbled. “How long will I be out of work?”

“If your recuperation goes well, I will say four and a half months, minimum. And that’s only for desk duty, not field work.”

“And how long will I have to be here?”

“At least two more days, you are running a low-grade fever, so I do not want to take the chances of an infection. Speaking of, I am going to put a limit on how many people can stop by until tomorrow afternoon. Your fiancée is more than welcome to stay but please let the others know that you are not allowed visitors until further notice. Now, let’s check out my handiwork.”

Tim gave Dr. Follari a confused look before glancing at Lucy who had the look of ‘just go with it’ on her face. “Right.” He drew out the word. “How long till I can call my plastic surgeon?”

Lucy rolled her eyes as the Doctor laughed as he moved back Tim’s gown. “Unfortunately, this is not Hollywood.”

Lucy stood to her feet blushing. “I’ll umm… I’ll be back.” She said, walking out of the room.

Twenty minutes later, she walked back in finding Tim attempting to get out of the bed, his legs hanging off as he fumbled with the remote for the TV across the room, flipping through the stations.

“And just what are you doing?” she asked, rushing over.

“I need to get up, there’s things to do, honey.”

“Oh, don’t you honey me babe. Get back in the bed Tim.”

“I knew you always wanted to get me into bed boot.” He challenged.

Lucy blushed as she glared at him. “Not only are you a fall risk, but you also just had major surgery. And, you almost fucking died. So yes, Tim Bradford, you’re going to get your legs back in that bed and you are going to rest, at least for tonight.”

“You make it sound like I’m old Luce.” He joked as he gingerly brought his legs back up, Lucy covering them up. “Look, they gave me socks.” He said, wiggling his toes.

“Did you max out your pain meds?”

“Maybe.” He said wiggling his eyebrows.

Lucy rolled her eyes “You’re cute.”

Tim glared as Lucy pulled out her phone, sending Dr. Follari’s update to the group chat. “I am not cute. If that’s Angela, tell her to bring me some clothes. And Chen?”

Lucy looked up briefly. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for scaring you.” He whispered.

Lucy lifted her head quickly, placing her phone on the table. “It’s ok. Payback, right?”

“No, it’s not ok.” He told her. “You love me, right?”

Lucy looked away, biting her lip. Maybe Tim on pain medication was more of a curse than a blessing.

“Lucy?”

Lucy cleared her throat before turning her head back towards him, staring him in the eyes as she talked. “Probably more than I should.”

Tim gave her a droopy smile, extending his right hand as far as his pain would allow. “Good. Then no more stupid shit on the job, for either of us.”

Lucy took his hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “It’s what we signed up for. But you were not the one to pull the trigger on yourself Tim, none of this is your fault. We can talk about this in the morning.”

“It is, I should have stayed in the shop and told him to move his ass with the PA.”

Lucy, sensing that he was not about to let this go, strung him along. “Fine. Then by the way you look at things, Caleb taking me was my fault.”

Tim’s tired eyes grew wide. “No! What he did-“

“It was my fault that I wasn’t paying attention to my drink. It was my fault I let myself be drugged.”

“Lucy, that’s not what I’m-“

“No Tim, it is. You sitting here blaming yourself for something you cannot control, is no different than me blaming myself for being drugged and buried by that sociopath.”

Tim stared ahead at the wall in front of him, time passing as he thought about what she was saying. “You’re right. I need to blame him. But, I have to blame myself.”

“I know.” She whispered, running a thumb over his knuckles. “It’s easier that way.”

Tim turned his head. “Can you come around the bed?”

Lucy looked at his quizzically, letting go of his hand as she stood, walking around the bed.

“Sit down, kick off your shoes.” He told her softly. Lucy noticed he had moved over, closer to the right side of the bed, realizing what he was wanting her to do. She moved towards the door, flipping the switch on the wall as the room grew darker than before, save for the light above the bed. She crossed back to the bed, taking a seat on the edge, toeing off her shoes before she laid down on the bed beside him.

“You can’t be comfortable.” She said as she took his left hand, holding it with her right as she carefully moved, cuddling into his side.

“I’m fine Luce.” He told her, his eyes feeling heavy as the hours he had been awake caught up with him. He moved his head down, pain be damned as he placed a lingering kiss to the top of her head. “A little hungry if I’m being honest but I can’t eat until in the morning.”

“Ok.” She whispered. “You’d tell me if you weren’t, right? Just push me out if the bed if it-“

“Get some sleep boot.” He mumbled, smiling as he closed his eyes, sleep coming easily.

Nurses coming in and out through the night woke Lucy up, unable to turn off the ‘always watch your surroundings’ part of her training as Tim stayed asleep, the large dose of pain meds keeping him asleep. Though she woke often, she never strayed from his side.

“Morning.” He mumbled, opening his eyes. “What time is it?”

Lucy, who he noticed had changed clothes, was back in the chair beside the bed. “A few past eight.” She told him standing, putting the book in her hand onto the table as she moved to the windowsill.

“Is that a word search book Chen? And you call Nolan old.” Teased Tim.

Lucy turned around, raising the bag now in her hand. “I could keep this bag of clothes over here and not give them to you.”

“Angela brought me clothes?” He asked, his face lighting up.

“I met her downstairs on her way in an hour ago.” She told him, bringing the bag over to the bed so he could choose what to wear. “Let me go get a nurse.”

“I don’t need a nurse. I think I can change clothes by myself.”

Lucy looked away blushing. “You have a catheter.”

“Oh.” He said, realizing he had forgotten that particular detail. “Yeah umm, can you go get a nurse please?”

Lucy nodded, leaving the room, a nurse coming in a few minutes after. She removed the catheter, before helping him change into the more comfortable clothing Angela had brought, careful as they worked around his injuries and the tubes still in his arm.

Ten minutes later, Lucy opened the door, a tray in hand.

“I brought you food.” She said, sitting the tray down onto the rolling table, pushing over the bed.

“This does not look like food.” He complained, observing the variety laid out in front of him.

“The nurse said you’re on a clear liquid diet which means you can have all the broth, jello, popsicles and Gatorade you want.”

“What I want is a steak from that place on 5th.”

“Too bad. Now drink, the detectives will be here soon.”

Tim flashed her a sarcastic smile. “Thanks babe.”

Lucy glared, picking up her book of words, opening it up to where she left off.

“You’re going to have to tell me what that was all about by the way.”

Lucy shrugged. “They wouldn’t let me back so I found a way.”

“And that meant pretending we’re engaged?”

“Like I said, found a way. You complaining?”

Tim softly smiled, shaking his head as he shoved bite of jello in his mouth.

“Did they give someone my belongings?”

Lucy looked up, running the back end of the pen over her lip. “They cut your uniform off of you and your duty belt was secured and returned with your body cam to the detectives. The rest I put in your duffle a few minutes ago, your phone is on my charger.” She said, reaching onto the bedside table, handing him his phone.

Tim took the device, scrolling through the mass of messages and notifications. “When did you take this?” he asked, gesturing to the picture he had enlarged on his phone, the image coming from the group chat.

“Last night, you were completely out of it.” She snickered.

“Damn it Chen, please tell me this was sent to no one else.”

“Why? Don’t want anyone to know big bad Bradford has a soft side?”

“Lucy… Please?”

“Don’t worry Tim. It’s for our friends’ eyes only. Besides, my personal favorite is still on my phone.” She told him with a wink.

Tim’s face dropped. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Lucy winked. “Maybe I’ll show you one day.”

Tim was about to interrogate her when a knock sounded on the door, Detectives Hall and Preese walking in.

“Hello boys.”

“Sergeant Bradford.” Detective Grayson Hall said, glancing at the other occupant of the room. “Officer Chen? We didn’t realize you had company.”

“Long story.” Tim said brushing the statement off, using his good arm to sit up better in the bed. “So, where shall we start?”

The next two hours were spent with Tim recounting the night from two days ago, answering their questions and asking some of his own as Lucy worked on a few puzzles until boredom set in, deciding to play on her phone for a while before making her way around the hospital, stretching her legs.

When she reentered the room, the two detectives had left and Tim was laying back, his head against the bed as his eyes were closed, a movie playing on the TV in the corner.

“Hey.”

Tim opened his eyes, letting out a sigh. “Hey.”

“They get everything they needed.”

“Hope so.” He told her turning his head. “You missed it, I tried walking to the bathroom.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “I bet that was an experience.”

“It was. Fairly sure my insides were about to fall out. What’s in the cup?”

Lucy handed over the cup she had snuck in. “I had Jackson swing by on his lunch break, he brought me some lunch and you, a frosty.”

“Thanks.”

Lucy smiled at him before her grin dropped as she looked at the vitals on the monitor next to the bed. “Your temperatures went up a little.”

“What can I say boot, I’m hot.” He told her with a smirk, shoveling in a spoonful of ice cream.

“You might be getting an infection.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry Chen, according to nurse Madison, they’ve put me on a stronger antibiotic.”

“You know, I think you’re an even bigger pain in my ass than before.”

Tim waved a hand, taking another bite of ice cream. “After two years you should be used to it by now.”

Lucy laughed, noticing as he drummed his fingers on the cup. “You up for a walk?”

“Not really.”

“You need to walk Tim, surely nurse Madison told you about throwing blood clots.”

“We’ll have to take it slow.” He told her after a moment, placing his cup down, throwing the covers off his legs. “I feel like everything inside has been rearranged.”

“You had a major surgery; they probably did move somethings around.”

Lucy walked to his side, standing in front of him, both of them grasping onto the other’s arms as Tim placed both feet on the ground, standing.

Tim let go of her right arm, reaching out for the IV pole as he slid his left hand into hers, taking careful and small steps across the room towards the door as he grimaced, his stiches pulling ever so slightly with each step.

“You ok?” She asked as they entered the hallway.

“Yep.”

The two made their way towards the nurses station, stopping for a break at the desk before turning around and returning to the room where Lucy helped him back into bed, Tim letting out a deep sigh, closing his eyes as his body relaxed back into the foam.

“Lucy?”

“Yeah?” she said, sitting back down in the chair next to the bed, reaching for the book on the nightstand as the heart rate monitor attached to Tim began to pick up speed.

“I think… I think I’m falling for you and it scares me shitless.”

Lucy let out a chuckle, reaching for his right hand on the bed. “So, let me catch you.”

Tim gave her a sleepy smile, intertwining his fingers with hers as she opened her book, starting on the next puzzle in the book. Somethings in life are simpler than others, choosing what to wear or what to eat, whereas other things in life are more difficult, especially when it comes to making a life changing decision. But Lucy Chen knew as she sat there, holding the hand of the man who trained her, that the decision she was about to make, would be the greatest of her life.

[jiminiesmagicshop]

NOTICE: ONE

Warnings: whoops attempted* angst ;0 other than that, none

Song inspos: it’s ok if you forget me, Astrid S (but imagine the exact opposite of what she sings) & mess it up, Gracie Abrams :’)

Word count: 1,500+

Summary: Jimin notices way too much about you, while you don't notice nearly enough about him. He also needs to invest in some hoodies.

a/n: hi hii :) this is my first completed fic i've writen on here, or anywhere at all for that matter kaplskjjs ahh i really hope you like it. Let me know what you think, feedback is super super welcome!! there is a flashback that's written in italics, and i took ridiculously long trying to come up with a summary which i'm sTILL iffy about. i'm also new on here so let's be frens :))

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Park Jimin has never regretted something more in his life. Sure there was the time when he hadn’t listened to his mom when she told him not to climb that one tree in their backyard, which ended with him in a very itchy cast and a long scolding from his mom. Now, years later, he wished his mom had warned him before he gave you a part of him you’d never want or need; his heart.

It’s not like he didn’t know what he was getting himself into, he knew you held his heart in your small hands (even smaller than his, HA! ) and he thought he didn’t care. Oh how naive he’d been to think that.

2 months ago:

It had been exactly seven months and three days since he realized he was in love with you, his best friend of six years. You had cried in his arms over Aaron? Adam?? He couldn’t really remember who it was this time.

“Why won’t he love me?” His heart breaks as you look at him as though you really want an answer. “Why won’t any of them love me?”

His fingers twitch at your waist. He wants to scream about how much he loves you but he refrains, settling instead for a small pained smile. He doesn’t try to say anything, not trusting himself to not ask you the exact same question. Why won’t you love him? He hugs you harder into his chest as a new wave of tears rack through your body.

He was wearing the purple hoodie you’d once mentioned you loved seeing him in. It was beginning to fray on the left shoulder where you’d always lean into while you cried. Not that you’d notice anyway, but he always wore it when you called with a shaky voice and he invited you over. It felt like it was yours, same as his heart.

He didn’t know how you couldn’t see it. The way he’d drop anything and everything for you. Let you pick any version of himself, let you mould him in any way if it would get you to love him back. He’d always adored you, and somewhere along the line you’d subliminally snatched his heart.

Maybe you’d never love him the way he did you, but he had hope. His heart was big enough. No matter how long it took, how many times you unknowingly broke it, he’d always have enough left to give to you.

He watched you cry and only when you finally curled up, something between a wheeze and a snore coming from you did he speak.

“I love you, i love you forever. Promise.”

He knew you hadn’t even heard the promise he’d made to you two months ago, yet he couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing he needed to break it. His friends knew him to be very loving, very selfless, he feels selfish now. He’s leaving merely to save his own heart, breaking yours (though for a totally different reason) in the process.

He’d watched as you gave your heart to different men, never once thinking to give it to him. He was never even an option for you and that hurt. You couldn’t blame him for falling for you, not when you cared so deeply for everyone continuously giving your heart no matter how many times it broke you just gave and gave. The two of you are similar in that sense.

Loving you is painful, like he’s bursting into flames and freezing at the same time. He can’t keep this up. He doesn’t know how to act around you anymore. Hugging you was never a problem, everyone knows how touchy and affectionate he is, however every hug he’s given you in the last few months, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He usually wears his heart on his sleeve, now he feels he needs to constantly check himself hoping you didn’t catch him smiling dopily in your direction.

Jimin couldn’t talk to you without wondering if something he said sounded suspiciously like an ‘i love you’. He couldn’t even listen to his favourite songs anymore, they all reminded him of you, probably because you introduced him to most of them, it hurt all the same.

Had he fallen out of line when he kissed you on the cheek days ago?

He remembers thinking he was invincible when he made that promise, thinking his heart could take it. He also remembers you saying you’d never love someone as much as Andrew? What was his name damnit?

He noticed everything about you, and frankly he was tired. He needed some time to think, to rebuild his heart. To un-notice everything.

He zips up his suitcase, the moving van would be by in a bit to pick up the remaining boxes. The daisies on his windowsill that you got him for his birthday last year are drying up, he notices with a sigh. With one last glance at the room he releases his grasp on the purple hoodie and walks out the front door.

He hasn’t answered your calls all day, and he probably wouldn’t for a while... not that you know that. You think nothing of it as you drive up to his house, eyes puffy from all the crying you’ve been doing. Alex had just called asking to take a break, something about you being too intense and you couldn’t help but replay every moment in your head wondering where you went wrong. You badly needed to rant to your support system otherwise known as Jimin, craving one of his hugs.

You don’t even notice his black Porsche missing from his driveway. And you don’t think much of it when he doesn’t answer the door, simply pulling out the spare key he gave you for moments just like this.

You do, however, notice the emptiness of his house. Where in the heck did his couch go? And why is his house so cold? Where are all the pictures of the two of you and his family that decorated his walls. You’re beginning to get frantic as you search through room after room for something, anything to make this less real. To show you he’ll be back shortly. That he didn’t just up and leave.

Whatever the reason, you’re sure you can get him to come back, or at least talk to you. “Chim?” Your voice echoes through his hallway. Your converse screech on the bare floor and you’re running down the hall to his bedroom. You’re stumbling now, eyes blurry with tears and you call out again “Jimin?” He was really gone.

You only just catch yourself before you hit the ground. You stare at the purple material that had snagged your foot. A purple hoodie lies by you on the floor. You’re sobbing.

Jimin swears the distance between his house and where he’d parked his car a block away wasn’t this long. He’s panting as he grips the door handle, stumbling inside with sweat making his recently dyed-pink hair stick to his forehead.

It was definitely rash of him to just leave the hoodie behind. It was too sentimental to just leave here to collect dust until the landlord discovered it. He missed it already. It smelt partially of you after all your cuddling sessions, and as embarrassing as it might sound, he needed it.

He jogs down the hallway, all the memories the two of you had here send a pang straight to his chest that has him tripping over his feet. That’s when he hears it. Sniffling. Someone was sniffling in his house. More curious than scared, the boy takes cautious steps past the bathroom and towards his bedroom.

His hand comes to rest over his heart, when he sees a head of long pink hair, shade identical to his save for the few bleached streaks he’d missed when the two of you had dyed each other’s hair. His fingers itch to bring you to his chest. You were crying. Because of him.

He reaches out to touch you, his first instinct being to pull you into him, but he stops in his spot when the floorboards beneath him creak. He waits for you to whip around and hug him, maybe scream at him for scaring you with his absence like that. His face scrunches up at your words.

“I can’t do this without you, why would you just leave?”

Jimin has to press a hand into his mouth to keep the sob threatening to expose him silent. Why was he not surprised. Of course you hadn’t noticed how much he’d been struggling the past few months. How his love for you far surpassed that of a best friend. He doesn’t know why he thought you might have noticed. In fact, when was the last time he’d talked to you about his problems?

Whatever fragments there are left of his heart ache. He suddenly misses his mom. Misses her scolding more than anything else, that would hurt much less than this does.

Jimin does what he knows he must.

Like most Jimin related things, you don’t notice what hoodie it is, don’t notice the frayed shoulder, and you most certainly don’t notice the boy who had come back for the hoodie backing away, quiet tears running down his face.