#that was the most surreal thing that has ever happened to me and to this day i do not understand it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scribblesofagoonerr · 26 days

Text

— You are the best thing that's ever been ours!

pairings: leah williamson x reader

summary: the first year of leah and reader being parents to their baby girl

special thank you to @alotofpockets and @lvnleah for the help along the way with figuring this one out!

small bump masterlist

“I still can’t believe she’s actually here,” You whisper, peering down at your newborn baby girl, fast asleep in her Moses basket.

The sight of her tiny peaceful face makes it all feel like a surreal dream to you.

Leah is sat beside you as she nods in agreement, “She’s here, and she’s our perfect little bubba.”

“I know,” You catch Leah’s gaze and smile, “It still feels pretty surreal, doesn’t it?”

“It really does,” Leah admits, a soft smile tugging at her lips as she turns her attention back to Remi, her eyes filled with adoration, “I can’t stop staring at her though.”

“Me neither,” You agree with your wife, not able to take your eyes away from your little one as you try and stifle a yawn, “God, labour really does take it out of you, doesn’t it?”

Leah chuckles and nods, “Why don’t you try and get some sleep while Remi’s asleep? You know what they say– When the baby sleeps, then so should the mum’s.”

“Speak for yourself, you’re still awake,” You murmur, struggling to keep your eyes open.

“Speak for yourself,” Leah retorts playfully, “I’m not the one who just went through hours of labour. You should sleep while you can, love.”

As if on queue to keep you awake, your baby girl starts to stir in her Moses basket, clearly not so keen on the idea of letting you sleep after all.

“Looks like little miss has other ideas,” You can’t help but tiredly laugh as Remi lets out a soft cry, “I bet she’s hungry.” You start to move to get out of bed, however your wife is less reluctant to let you do so considering it’s less than 24 hours since you’ve given birth.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got her,” Leah reassures, gently scooping your little girl up into her arms, “Hi baby girl, are you a bit hungry, huh? It’s okay, Mumma is right here to feed you,” She coos, carefully handling Remi over to you as you prop yourself up against the pillows.

“Thanks Le,” You hold your baby girl close to you as you readjust your top, helping her latch on to feed while your wife sits beside you, watching you with a tender smile and her hand resting on your back to offer silent support and love as your little family settles into this new rhythm together.

The first few months of life with a newborn baby girl was completely blissful, watching your wife bond with your little girl was one of the moments that you most treasured forever. There was just something magical about watching the love of your life cradle your daughter, seeing the way that Leah’s eyes softened, her voice instinctively dropping to a gentle whisper and soothing Remi in ways that only she could.

“Love, are you ready to go?” Leah called out by the front door, cradling Remi in her arms while your little girl is all bundled up in a light weighted coat, ready to face the chill of September’s unpredictable weather, “What’s taking Mumma so long, huh?”

“Almost!” You called back, navigating through the house with an armful of essentials needed, the sheer volume of items is far more needed that you’d normally take to a football game, but you’re determined to be prepared for anything to happen, “I’m just making sure we have everything that we might need.” You explained, offering Leah a weary smile.

The blonde’s face softened as she sensed your nerves, “Love, if it’s too soon…” She began gently, “I don’t mind going on my own. There will be other times.”

You shook your head in disagreement, a firm but understanding smile on your face, “No, no, it’s going to be fine, besides your mum and the rest of your family will be there to help out if I need it,” You reassured her, reaching to take Remi from her arms, “And I know your teammates are all itching for cuddles with her too.”

Leah laughed softly, “Oh, they can’t wait to meet our little Gooner,” She said, taking hold of the several bags to carry out of the house, “I’m so excited for you both to be there to watch the match today. It means a lot to be able to look up into the box and see you both there.” She added, gesturing to the game at the Emirates, you would be going to watch Leah and her teammates play in their first game of the new season against Man City.

“We’re excited to be able to watch, aren’t we, sweet girl,” You cooed, kneeling down to gently place her in her car seat to carry her out of the house, “I can’t believe you actually dressed her an Arsenal shirt as well. I knew I should have been concerned about you dressing her.” You joked playfully with your wife.

“Of course I did, we can’t have our little girl coming to watch me play and not wear a shirt with my name on, can we?” Leah retorted, locking up the house and following you out to the car to help you settle Remi into the back of it while you sit beside her just for your own peace of mind.

Thankfully the drive to the stadium wasn’t too far ahead from where you live and Remi was golden the whole time in the car, snoozing away in her car seat with no care in the world.

“Lovely parking Leah. Well done,” Your wife complimented her parking as she pulled the car up outside the Emirates stadium, with the plan to go ahead of the coach to be able to help you inside before the frenzy of fans arrive.

“You did not seriously just say that, did you?” You couldn’t help but laugh in amusement at your wifes’ usual antics, “Your Mummy is so silly sometimes, isn’t she, Remi Bear?” You cooed to your little girl who’s now awake and looking round with curious eyes.

“I just have my way sometimes, don’t judge me,” Leah retorted, sticking her tongue out at you as she gets out of the car and helps get Remi out of the car seat, “Welcome to the Emirates, my baby Gooner. I can’t wait till you're old enough to be able to experience this properly.”

“I’m sure she’ll be thrilled,” You teased your wife’s excitement, her passion for her club on and off the pitch is one of the things that you love most about her, “What if she decides to not like football at all, huh?” You joked in amusement.

Leah fauxed a playful gasp, “Don’t swear in front of the baby like that,” She acted like it’s the worst thing you’ve said, “Honestly, love, out of all the things you’ve said. I think that one cuts deep.”

“Oh I’m sure you’ll get over it,” You still couldn’t help but continue to wind your wife up, “Let’s get inside, I bet your mum will be waiting for us.”

“I think they’ve arrived,” Leah agreed with you as the three of you made your way inside the stadium to meet up with her family, “Oh! There they are now.” She pointed in the direction her family was standing waiting for your guys arrival.

“Hi girls!” Leah’s mum, Amanda greeted you both as she walked closer towards you and caught sight of Remi who was in Leah’s arms and of course your little girl was all smiles for the woman that she adored, “There’s Nana’s girl!”

“Hi Amanda,” You waved politely and smiled at the older woman.

“Hi Mum,” Leah greeted Amanda and was eager to pass Remi over to the older woman who was desperate for a cuddle, “Look who it is, it’s Nana, baby Gooner!”

“Hi sweet angel,” Amanda cooed, taking Remi from Leah as she gently bounced your little girl in her arms, “Are you so excited for your first match?”

“Of course she is!” Leah was beaming a proud wide smile while she watched the exchange between your daughter and her mother, “She’s even wearing her own shirt in support of Mummy today!” She added, unfastening her coat to show Amanda the little Arsenal shirt that Remi was wearing.

“I didn’t have a single say in it,” You joked with the older woman as you shook your head, “Let’s just hope Remi doesn’t spit up on it.” You added, looking at your wife with a knowing look.

“Nah she wouldn’t do that,” Leah shook the idea off as she quickly exchanged hellos with the rest of her family and took the time to catch up– Your wife was exceptionally close with her family and that was another thing you loved about her.

Before long it was time to take your seats inside the box in the stadium ahead of the game and Leah had to join the rest of the team now they had arrived. You knew the noise would be loud from the fans so you were more than grateful for the pair of small red ear defenders that Remi currently had placed over her little ears while she sat on Berny, Leah’s grandma’s lap and enjoyed the atmosphere around her.

“Are you ready to see your Mummy play, sweetheart?” You heard Berny ask your little girl, gently bouncing her on her knee.

“Look there she is, Remi Roo,” Holly, Leah’s cousin, cooed and crouched down beside the seat and pointed in the direction of the pitch where you could spot Leah warming up amongst the rest of the girls, “Do you see her?”

“Leah’s been so excited about you two both finally being here to watch the match,” Amanda told you with a genuine smile on her face, “It’s the only thing she’s been going on about.” She added.

“I know, even if I’m not sure Remi understands much of it at all,” You joked but you were glad to be able to be here to watch your wife play again– You always did love to watch her doing what she loved the most.

Soon enough the match kicked off and you watched Arsenal and Manchester City battle for the 3 points in the first opening game of the season. It was incredibly different to see Leah’s former teammate, Vivianne play against them wearing a blue shirt but at least she looked happy enough to be a part of the club.

“Back with the stern facial expression,” Jacob, Leah’s brother, joked as he watched the game play out, “Why am I not surprised?” He added, shaking his head in amusement.

“It’s just what she’s known for,” You remarked and you couldn’t help but laugh, “It’s one of the things I love about her.”

“Remi has the same frown as Leah does,” Jacob quipped, amusedly as he spotted the expression that your little girl had on her face, which did indeed match your wifes, “It’s exactly identical.”

A whole 90 minutes later and the match was over, the game ending in a win for the Gunners which you know Leah would be exceptionally happy about, a brilliant way to kick off the new season.

“Shall we go and find Mummy now, Rem?” You told her, taking Remi from Jacob who was holding off her at the end of the match, “I bet she’ll be so excited to see you!”

“Oh I bet she will be,” Amanda agreed with you, helping you pick up the things you need as you all begin to make your way back inside to meet up with everyone once the game is over.

Walking inside, you’re quick to spot your wife catching with her best friend, Lia now after the match is over and she’s had a chance to grab a quick shower, “Look, there she is, there’s Mummy,” You took a gentle hold of Remi’s small hand and pointed it in the direction of where your wife is, “Let’s go say hi!”

“Baby Gooner!” You suddenly heard the familiar accent of Beth, Leah’s team mate as she came darting towards you with her own girlfriend hot on her tail, “Oh my Goodness, she’s absolutely precious. Can I have a cuddle?” She asked.

“Not before I do,” Lia spotted you walking towards them and took the chance to try and have first dibs on having a cuddle with Remi, “We’ve all been so eager to meet her.”

“Oh I’m sure Remi would love to have cuddles with all of her Aunties,” Leah chimed in the conversation, “But not before I get to say hello to my baby Gooner first. I get first dibs as her Mummy.” She added, reaching out for your daughter, who was quick to realise who was in front of her as she beamed an adorable smile.

“She definitely knows who you both are,” Beth said, watching the interaction between your wife and daughter, “She’s the absolute spit of you, Le.” She said, taking her turn to have a quick cuddle with Remi, who was intrigued by the new face in front of her that she hadn’t met before.

“I know, right? Even Jacob pointed out that Rem has the same frown,” You told them as you found it hard to stifle your laughter, “I think she really enjoyed watching you play today, she was a lot less grumpier than she usually is.” You said.

“Of course she was happy watching Mummy out on the pitch,” Leah gloated at the idea of your daughter being her most cheerful while being at the Emirates watching her play, “Told you, she’s a baby Gooner, through and through. Plenty more years to come as well!”

Before long, the first 6 months had flown by and it amazed you how much Remi was changing every single day right in front of your eyes – Being able to sit up on her own without support, trying solid foods for the first time and even managing to sleep through the night.

Every single milestone felt like a tiny miracle, a glimpse at the little person she was becoming.

It was now the most magical time of the year, it was Christmas and that was something that your wife took very seriously with her family Christmas traditions that she had insisted that you partake in, and she was now even more overjoyed to share them with Remi.

“It’s her first Christmas,” Leah beamed, her eyes sparkling with excitement, “We have to make it so special.”

“We will,” You reassured, smiling at the joy on her face, “She’s going to have the best time– Even if she doesn’t understand much of it.” You joked with your wife, knowing that your daughter wouldn’t be able to remember any of this or understand it yet.

“I wish she would stop growing so much,” Leah’s expression softens as she looks down at Remi while you fasten her in her pram, already bundled up ahead of the Christmas Eve walk you would be joining Leah’s whole family on, “She’s getting so big already.”

“I know it’s honestly crazy,” You agree, shaking your head with a grin, “You blink and then suddenly, she’s this big… I don’t like it. Not oBefore long, the first 6 months had flown by and it amazed you how much Remi was changing every single day right in front of your eyes – Being able to sit up on her own without support, trying solid foods for the first time and even managing to sleep through the night.

Every single milestone felt like a tiny miracle, a glimpse at the little person she was becoming.

“It’s her first Christmas,” Leah beamed, her eyes sparkling with excitement, “We have to make it so special.”

“I wish she would stop growing so much,” Leah’s expression softens as she looks down at Remi while you fasten her in her pram ahead of the Christmas Eve walk you would be joining Leah’s whole family on, “She’s getting so big already.”

“I know it’s honestly crazy,” You agree, shaking your head with a grin, “You blink and then suddenly, she’s this big.”

“No, I don’t like it,” Leah told you in disagreement, not liking the idea of your little baby growing up, “I don’t like, not one bit.”

You finish fastening Remi into her pram, her eyes wide staring up at you with a mix of curiosity and wonder as you can’t help but grin just to wind your wife up even more, “Don’t blink too fast,” You teased lightly, “Or she’ll be off to school before we know it.”

“Stop, no,” Leah said, shooting you a pointed look as bending down and to press a soft kiss on your daughter’s forehead, “No, I don’t even want to think about that.”

You couldn’t help but smirk mischievously, clearly amused by her reaction, “Oh, I mean we haven’t talked about when she’s going to have her first boyfriend–”

“Nope, stop right there!” Your wife interrupts, hands on her hands, “I refuse to believe my little girl will date. Nope, it’s not happening!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at Leah’s protectiveness which only made your heart swell more, reminding you just how lucky you were to have this family and cherish moments like this.

As you finished getting Remi settled in her pram, the hallway began to fill with the chatter and laughter of Leah’s family gathering for the tradition of their Christmas Eve walk.

“Are we ready to go?” Amanda called out, appearing in the doorway with Bella, their dog, tugging eagerly at her lead while her tail wagged excitedly.

“Yep, we’re all ready!” Leah grinned, wrapping a free arm around you.

“Remi’s first Christmas Eve walk! This is a tradition that can’t be broken,” Jacob joined them in the hallway, zipping up his coat as he bent down to give Remi a quick kiss on her forehead.

“Oh just look at her all bundled up,” Berny cooed, her eyes twinkling as she looked at Remi all cosy in her pram wearing her pale pink winter romper, “Before you know it, she’ll be walking and able to run around.”

Leah groaned in disagreement and firmly shook her head, “Don’t you start Grandma, this ones’ already talking about when she goes off to school,” She said, nodding in your direction, “I still have a few more years yet!”

You grinned at the older woman, “Leahs’ dreading the idea of Remi growing up,” You chimed in amusedly.

Holly snorted at her cousin's denial and gave her a playful nudge, “It’s bound to happen sooner or later, Le. You can’t keep her a baby forever.”

“Yeah, you just blink and it just happens,” Jordan, Leah’s older cousin piped in, already having a little boy of her own, “They grow up so fast.”

Leah shook her head with a dramatic sigh, trying to keep a serious face but failing to hide the smile tugging at her lips, “Let’s not think about it just yet, let’s just go for our walk.”

“Yeah, let’s not traumatise Le with the idea of Remi growing up just yet,” Jacob snickered, poking fun at his older sisters’ dread for Remi growing up.

You couldn’t help but enjoy hearing the sound of the snow crunching beneath your feet as you begin your walk, the twinkling lights of the neighbourhood illuminating your path as Remi gurgled softly in her pram, mesmerised by them.

“This,” Leah whispered, squeezing your hand, her face a mix of happiness and contentment, “Is what it’s all about.”

“It’s pretty magical, isn’t it?” You leaned into her warmth and took in this special moment of being around your wife, your little girl and your family during a special time of the year, “I couldn’t think of anything to top this.”

It’s true what they say about time going by so fast – much to your wife’s initial denial about that happening, Remi was nine months old before you both knew it and your little girl was growing more curious and lively every day, her eyes bright and wide with wonder.

March arrived before you know it and Leah’s birthday was vastly approaching, you knew you wanted to do something to celebrate, despite your wife’s insistence on wanting a small celebration and after brainstorming, you decided on the idea on a trip to the zoo – it would be a perfect blend of fun for all of you.

“Happy birthday, Le!” You exclaimed, showered your wife with gifts as she sat cross-legged on the bed meanwhile Remi sat wedged happily in between you, far more interested with the crinkling wrapping paper than the presents themselves, her tiny hands eagerly reaching out to scrunch it up.

“Thank you, love,” Leah smiled, tearing through the paper with a grin and leaning over to give you a quick kiss on the lips, “These are perfect.”

“You’re welcome,” You replied, enjoying the happiness that lit up her face.

Remi started to babble something which sounded vaguely recognisable to “Mama” which Leah’s eyes widened in delight, cupping her hands on her tiny face and peppered kisses over her little face, “And thank you to you too, baby Gooner. I love all of my presents from you too.”

The morning was somewhat as relaxing as it could be with a 9 month old who was now crawling, pulling herself to stand up and doing her best to try and walk while holding onto furniture, you made work of spoiling your wife with a special breakfast of pancakes while Leah fed Remi bits of fruit that she seemed to enjoy a whole lot.

“You’re spoiling me today,” Leah murmured, popping a piece of fruit in her own mouth as she watched you flip another pancake in the kitchen.

“Only the best for the birthday girl,” You replied, placing the last pancake on a plate and settling it down in front of her.

Your wife's eyes sparkled with a mix of love and mischief, “You know this is one of the most perfect ways to start my way,” She paused as she took a bite of the pancake and savoured the taste in her mouth, “Mm, it’s delicious!”

“I aim to impress,” You joked with her playfully as you grinned, “I just want to make your birthday as special as possible.”

Leah beamed a wide smile as she continued to munch on her pancakes, “You’re definitely living up to expectations, love.”

After breakfast, you got Remi dressed in a cute onesie with tiny animal prints - the perfect outfit for the trip to the zoo.

“Are you ready to go to the zoo and see all of the animals?” Leah cooed at Remi, who cheerfully babbled nonsense in return and her tiny hands batted at Leah’s face, “There’s going to be so many different ones - monkeys, giraffes, elephants… Oh, and tigers as well!”

“I think she’s definitely excited about it,” You grinned, watching as Leah strapped Remi into the pram once you had gotten out of the car at the Zoo.

Leah crouched down, her eyes bright with a playful energy, “What noise does a Tiger make, baby Gooner?” She questioned your little girl, “They go… Roar!” She exclaimed while Remi stared back at her with a blank expression on her face, as if sizing up your wife’s silliness.

You snickered in amusement at your wife’s antics, “Yeah I think she definitely understands what you are saying there, Le.” You teased, shaking your head.

“Of course she does, cos’ she’s our clever little girl,” Leah insisted as you made your way towards the entrance of the zoo, quickly paying for the tickets and heading inside, excited to see all the different animals, “What should we go and see first?”

“I think the monkey’s first,” You walked hand-in-hand with Leah, your wife pushing Remi’s pram along the winding paths of the zoo, the noise around the zoo filled with the faint sounds of the animals amongst the chatter of families enjoying their day.

“Look, Remi! Monkeys!” Leah pointed excitedly, leaning down to get closer to Remi’s eye level, “Can we see them jumping around?”

Remi, however, didn't seem that bothered and decided that chewing the ear of a stuffed giraffe toy was more exciting and her eyes barely flickered towards the monkeys.

“Not impressed, huh?” You chuckled, watching as Remi babbled to herself, blissfully unaware of the monkey’s putting on a show.

“Wow, tough crowd,” Leah laughed, shrugging her shoulders, “There’s still time to warm up to them I suppose.” She added.

“Maybe she’s just saving her excitement for the rest of the animals,” You suggested playfully as you continued walking towards the giraffe enclosure.

“Wow, look how tall the giraffes are,” Leah lifted Remi up from her pram and pointed out the giraffes that were stretching their long necks towards the leaves, “What do you think about them, baby Gooner?”

This time, Remi seemed slightly a bit more curious about the giraffes as her eyes widened and she followed Leah’s hand, trying her hardest to reach her little hand out to grasp them from afar.

“Seems like she likes them better,” You noted with a smile, watching as Remi stayed captivated by the giraffes, “Maybe it’s the height?”

“Or maybe she’s just a giraffe person,” Leah teased, kissing your daughter's cheek before settling her back in the pram to continue your way around the enclosures, “Next up… Elephants.” She declared.

Continuing your journey, you arrived to see the elephants as you crouched beside Remi, “What do you think of the elephant, Remi Roo? They’re so big and strong!” You exclaimed, making a gentle trumpet sound with your lips and attempted to imitate an elephant.

“Very impressive love,” Leah laughed in amusement and shook her head, “And you think I’m silly – Isn’t she silly, Rem? Mumma’s a silly billy,” She cooed, trying to bring out another smile from your grumpy little girl who was apparently disappointed to leave the giraffes.

“I don’t think she’s a fan,” You noted, watching Remi take a short glance at the elephants before her attention shifted back to the giraffe toy that she kept clutched in her hand, “I’m definitely sensing a favourite animal already.”

“I think you might be onto something there love,” Your wife shared a fond smile with you as she peered down to watch your daughter chew intently on the ear of her toy, “I wonder what she’ll think about the tigers instead?” She asked.

“Well, we’re about to find out,” You told her with a small shrug of your shoulders as you couldn’t help but feel curious about it yourself.

Making your way to the tiger enclosure, Leah stopped in front of the large glass panel separating you from the striped cats lounging in the midday sun, “Look, Rem! Here’s the tigers!” She crouched down with Remi, bringing her face closer to the glass, “Remember how it goes? Roar!” Your wife growled playfully, imitating the big cat.

To your surprise, Remi’s eyes widened as she took in the sight of the tigers and after a moment of contemplation, she let out a delighted growl of her own to mimic Leah’s sound.

“Wow, we have our own little tiger!” Leah exclaimed, her laughter ringing out as she hugged your daughter close, “Remi the tiger, huh?” She added.

“I think she just might be,” You laughed in agreement, watching the fond moment of your two favourite people together, “I’d say it’s a toss up between the giraffes and the tigers.”

As you continue your journey around the zoo to see the various different animals, taking in the sights and sounds, you feel the warmth of the sun on your skin and the happiness swelling inside you.

“I think our baby Gooner might just be a tiger fan,” Leah noted, kissing Remi’s small forehead tenderly as your little girl giggled in absolute delight.

“Can you believe that she’s already 1?” Leah questioned in shock as you took the moment in bed reminiscing over the last year while Remi slept in her room next door, “It feels like only yesterday we were bringing her back from the hospital, doesn't it?”

“It really does,” You hummed in agreement, your voice filled with a mix of nostalgia and awe, “Our little girl is really growing up.”

“Where did the time go?” Your wife wondered aloud, enjoying the moment that you were wrapped up in her arms as she traced gentle circles on your bare skin.

“We blinked Le, and she grew up, Le,” You admitted, a gentle voice, “All those hours of labour – This time last year we were at the hospital, I was screaming at you and now, here we are.”

“Here we are now,” Leah repeated, her voice softening, “I forgive you for shouting at me. It was all worth it to meet our baby Gooner.”

You chucked in amusement, “You’re still not letting that nickname go, huh?”

“Nope,” Your wife said with a smirk, “I’ll still be calling her that even when she’s 16 years old and sneaking out the house.”

You frowned and shook your head, “Okay. That is not something that I want to even think about any time soon, Le.”

“Oh, and just all these months ago you were winding me up for not wanting her to grow up,” Leah teased you as she pressed a gentle kiss on your collar bone, “What has changed now?”

“I realised that she’s growing up too fast,” You admitted quietly, biting your bottom lip.

“Do you think it’s time for another one?” Leah spoke her thoughts aloud, anxiously awaiting your answer.

You raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Another baby?”

“No, another puppy,” Leah retorted, rolling her eyes, “Yes I mean a baby – Think about it! Wouldn’t it be great for Remi to be a big sister?”

“I love the idea of that, and the puppy as well,” You told your wife, a genuine smile on your face.

“Whoa slow down there,” Leah couldn’t help but laugh, “Let’s just do one thing at a time, eh?” She joked.

“Let’s do it,” You agreed with Leah, nodding in triumph.

“Yeah?” Leah checked to make sure you were sure.

“Yeah!” You repeated your wife’s words, “Let’s make another baby.” You add quietly, pressing your face against hers as you share a tender kiss.

“Mu… Mumma! Mummy!” Remi’s small voice broke the baby monitor in the room and interrupted the moment.

“Sounds like the birthday girl is up,” Leah said, sharing a look with you.

“We’ll come on then, we’d better not keep our 1 year old waiting any longer,” You said reluctantly getting out of bed, quickly chucking on one of your wife’s old Arsenal shirt and a loose pair of sleep shorts.

“Nope, I already don’t like the sound of that,” Leah said in dismissal as she shook her head, “She’s still too little to be 1 already.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle in amusement, “Le, she’s walking and talking. She’s not too little.” You reminded her, gently as you made your way into your little girl's bedroom.

“Mumma,” Tiny hands reached up for you to pick her up and you didn’t hesitate to waste the time and scoop her up into your arms, making you realise it’s important to treasure moments like this.

“Hi Remi Roo,” You cooed, pressing a gentle kiss to your daughters forehead, “Happy birthday. You’re 1 years old.” You added, holding her close to you.

“Yep, even hearing you say it aloud like that, I don’t like it at all,” Leah appeared behind you and as soon as Remi heard your wife’s voice, she was reaching towards her, “Hi baby Gooner. Who’s birthday is it, huh? Todays your very special day.”

“You have to get used to it sooner or later,” You remarked playful as the three of you made your way down the stairs to begin breakfast ahead of the day full of celebration with your friends and family.

“Nope, definitely not. She’ll always be little in my eyes,” Leah stated, less than thrilled at the idea of you growing up right there in front of her eyes, “Won’t you, baby Gooner?”

As the day went on, you were so excited to be able to celebrate your little girls’ first birthday with your closest family and friends as they all began to arrive - The house was decorated with pink decorations, several large balloons dotted around the room as a large banner read “Happy 1st Birthday, Remi!” in colourful letters, and the smell of birthday cake wafted through the hair.

The first guests to arrive at your house for the small celebration were the majority of Leah’s teammates, who all came bursting through the door with several presents for your daughter.

“There’s the birthday girl!” Beth’s loud voice filled the house, walking through the front door with a present in her hand, “Hi, baby Gooner! Happy birthday.”

“I still can’t believe you girls have a 1 year old,” Lia said, exchanging hugs with the two of you and gently running her thumb over Remi’s face, “Look at you growing up.”

“Don’t remind us,” Leah murmured against the idea, returning the hug with her best friend.

You snickered in amusement at your wife’s expense, “Leah’s almost having a breakdown about it, again.” You teased, looking over at the girls.

Leah gasped, nudging you playfully with her free hand, “Way to out me like that, love,” She tutted, though there was a hint of a smile on her lips as she spotted Amanda and the rest of her family walk through the front door, “There’s Nana, shall we go and say hi?” She asked, turning her attention back to Remi.

The moment that Remi saw Amanda, her face lit up and the woman wasted no time in scooping her up, “Hi sweetheart,” Amanda cooed, cradling your daughter with affection, “Happy birthday! Look how many people are here to celebrate your special day, huh? Wow. You’re one lucky girl!”

“Happy birthday, angel,” Berny stepped forward and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Remi’s head, “One already? Where’s the time gone?”

“Hi, Remi Roo!” Jacob gently lifted Remi’s tiny hand into a fist bump against his own, “Happy birthday to you!”

“We’re so glad you could all make it,” You said, raising your voice slightly to address the growing number of guests in your living room.

“We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Holly replied with a warm smile, “It’s Remi’s special day!”

You felt a surge of happiness seeing so many people here to celebrate. It was exactly the kind of day you’d hoped for – full of love, laughter and little moments that would make Remi’s first birthday unforgettable.

“We’re about to light the candles on the cake!” Leah announced, her voice bright with excitement.

“Ah, the best part!” Beth joked with a wide grin.

“The only reason I’m here– Ow!” Kyra started, feigning a pained expression as Alessia playfully nudged her, “Alright, I was just kidding. Of course, I wanted to be here to celebrate Remi’s first birthday… The cake is just an added bonus!”

Leah carefully lit the candles on the cake while you held Remi in your arms. As the lights dimmed, the room hushed for a brief moment before everyone began to sing.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Remi, happy birthday to you!” The joyful chorus filled the room as a wave of love and warmth washed over you.

“Happy birthday, baby girl,” You whispered, leaning closer to help Remi blow out the candles as you gently puffed alongside her, and everyone erupted into cheers and applause.

“Happy birthday, my baby Gooner,” Leah moved closer and peppered kisses on your little girl’s face as she giggled joyfully, “I can’t believe you’re already 1. Don’t grow up on us too fast, okay? You are the best thing that’s ever been ours.”

And just like that, the first year of Remi’s life was complete, with many more chapters to be written.

leahwilliamsonn and y/nwilliamson posted

Liked by liawaelti, bethmead_ and 92, 432 others.

leahwilliamsonn: just like that, our baby gooner is one years old! 🥹🎂🥳

what an incredible journey this whole year has been to watch you grow up right in front of our very eyes 👣👶🏼

happy birthday, remi! mumma and i love you so, so much! 💗

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #arsenal x reader #woso imagine #woso #woso one shot #arsenal women x reader #leah williamson x reader #arsenal wfc x reader #scribblesofagoonerr

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pretty-sparkle-bomb · 3 months

Text

Prince Katsuki Bakugo x Female Reader

Please support me by leaving a like or comment to let me know what you liked most about the chapter and what you expect to come in the next one!

You are now reading Part 2 of Promise! Enjoy my lovelies <3 Lemme know what your feelings were on this chapter!

Part 1 here Part 3 here

When you were six, you held a fake wedding by the swings with a kid you met at the park. You never saw your childhood “spouse" again after that day. Today you received a letter summoning you to a foreign country...where your wedding to the heir to the throne fifteen years ago is seen as valid.

Turns out, he's lying to you? Wait...WHAT?

If someone had told you two days ago that you would be sitting in a limousine, about to go meet a random Prince who is your supposed 'spouse' that you haven't met in fifteen years, you'd have packed your bags and moved to the other side of the world.

Well, that’s where you are right now.

The luxurious interior of the limousine felt surreal, the soft leather seats and tinted windows contrasting the whirlwind of confusion and disbelief swirling inside your mind. You glanced out the window at the passing cityscape, trying to process everything that had happened in the last forty-eight hours.

It had started with that knock on your door, the letter from Prince Bakugo, and your incredulous conversation with Momo. Somehow, you had gone from laughing off the absurdity of it all to sitting here, en route to a world you never imagined would be yours.

You still couldn’t wrap your head around it. The playground wedding and childhood games all felt like another lifetime.

Yet, here you were, being whisked away to meet the man who, according to his letter, had been waiting for you all these years.

The limousine slowed as it approached a grand estate, the gates opening smoothly as the vehicle entered. Your heart pounded in your chest, a mixture of anxiety and curiosity.

The driver, a stern-looking man in a perfectly pressed uniform, pulled up to the entrance and stepped out to open your door.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped out of the limousine, your eyes widening at the sight before you. The castle was magnificent, with towering spires and intricate stonework that looked like something out of a fairy tale.

As you stood there, taking in the grandeur, the massive wooden doors of the castle opened. A man with red, spiky hair stepped out, his expression serious yet somehow familiar. It was the same man who had brought the letter to your door, Kirishima, was it?

"Princess," he said, bowing slightly. "Please follow me."

You nodded, too overwhelmed to speak, and followed him inside. The castle's interior was just as breathtaking as the exterior, with vaulted ceilings, grand chandeliers, and tapestries depicting scenes of historical significance.

Kirishima led you through a series of hallways until you reached grand double doors. He paused and turned to you.

"The Prince is inside. He’s been looking forward to meeting you again."

Your heart raced as he opened the doors, revealing a spacious room bathed in sunlight. Standing at the far end, looking out of a large window, was Prince Bakugo. He turned as you entered, his intense gaze locking onto yours.

He was taller now, more mature, but there was no mistaking the boy you had once known. His hair was still as spiky as ever, the ash blond color ever so conspicuous, numerous scars on his hands, no doubt from all the battles he'd been through.

Sharp crimson eyes bore into your softer ones, it was like he was reading your soul just from the eye contact. Something like that made your heart skip a beat.

"It's been a long time." Oh, that was the one thing you had hoped he wouldn't say. Had he forgotten your name? Was this all a mistake?

You nodded, swallowing hard. "Yes, it has."

He took a step towards you, his expression softening. "I know this is a lot to take in."

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words. "I never thought... I mean, I didn’t realize any of this was real."

He smirked slightly. "It's real. Y/N, you need to know why you're here." His feet shuffled. He seemed almost... nervous?

You felt a strange sense of panic wash over you. "Okay," you said softly. "Let’s talk."

Bakugo took a deep breath, his eyes narrowing as he prepared to explain. "Look, Y/N, there's something you need to know. That playground wedding we had... it isn't seen as valid by my people."

Your eyes widened, confusion and anger bubbling up inside you. "Then why did you tell me it was? Why did you bring me here?"

He ran a hand through his spiky hair, clearly frustrated. "Because my parents are planning to marry me off to some girl I haven't even met. Another Princess, some fuckin' extra named Uraraka."

You ignored the language that departed from his mouth, too focused on the more unbelievable part of the situation. He lied to you.

Youfelt a rush of emotions—anger, confusion, and a strange sense of betrayal. "So, you lied to me?"

Bakugo winced at the accusation. "Yeah, I lied. Not like I had a damn choice. My parents have been breathing down my neck about this for months. They think it's time I settled down and did my duty as a prince. But I don't want to marry someone I don't even know."

"And you think dragging me into this mess is the solution?" you snapped, feeling a surge of anger. "How could you do this to me?"

"You're the only one I could think of," he admitted, his voice softer now. "We have history, Y/N. I thought that if I could convince them that we're already married, they’d back off."

You shook your head, trying to make sense of everything. "This is insane. You can't just use me as a pawn in your game. This isn't fair to me, Katsuki." you seethed, crossing your arms and looking around the room. Anywhere but his face.

"I know it's not fair," he said, his tone desperate. "But I need your help. Just for a while, please. Pretend to be my fiancée until I can figure out a way to get out of this arranged marriage."

You looked at him, torn between the anger you felt and the vulnerability you saw in his eyes. "I don't know. This is a lot to ask and it was so suddenly."

"I know it is," he replied, stepping closer to you. "But I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. I need you, Y/N. Please."

You shook your head, no. "What am I getting from this?"

"Anything. Anything you want. Gold, a new house, trips to anywhere in the world. Anything." he breathed out to you, his hands cupped your cheeks and searched your eyes for a positive reaction.

You felt powerful. Having a Prince, no. The Prince of Japan at your beck-and-call was a feeling of ultimate power and you basked in it.

"Fine. But on one condition."

Your eyes widened as you stepped foot into what would be your new room. This place was humongous. The walls were lined with ornate wallpaper, and the bed, situated in the center of the room, was draped with luxurious black and red silk.

Sunlight poured in through the tall, arched windows, illuminating the room in a warm, golden glow. A crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, casting sparkling light over the room.

"Wow," you breathed, taking in the grandeur. "This is… incredible."

Bakugo stood by the doorway, watching you with a mix of relief and determination. "I told you I'd make it worth your while."

You turned to face him, trying to keep your emotions in check. "Alright, Katsuki. I'll play along. But remember our deal. You owe me, big time."

He nodded, his expression now a cocky smirk. "I didn't forget."

With that, he left you to settle into your new quarters, the door closing softly behind him. You took a moment to explore the room, your fingers trailing over the luxurious fabrics and polished surfaces. It felt surreal to be in such a place, caught up in a situation you never could have imagined.

As you unpacked your things, your mind wandered back to the events of the past few days. It had all happened so quickly—one moment, you were living your ordinary life, and the next, you were thrust into a world of royalty.

After a while, there was a knock on the door. You opened it to find a woman in a maid's uniform standing there, a warm smile on her face.

"Good afternoon, Princess!" she said with a slight bow. "The name's Mina, your personal maid. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. It's nice to meetcha!" She stuck her hand out and shook yours with vigor. It was weird seeing a maid act so friendly. She was definitely a girl's girl.

"Thank you, Mina," you replied, trying to match her happy tone. "I'm still getting used to all of this."

She nodded understandingly. "If you need help with anything, from getting settled to understanding the daily schedule, I'm here to assist you!"

"Right..." you trailed off, and she changed the subject, noticing the awkwardness.

You spent the next hour getting to know Mina and learning about the castle's routines and protocols. Despite the overwhelming circumstances, her funny demeanor and helpfulness put you at ease.

That evening, as you prepared for dinner, you found yourself standing in front of a full-body mirror with your phone's flash turned on, trying to get a good picture for your Instagram page.

Mina barged into the room, causing you to yelp and drop your phone in the process. "Whoopsy daisy," she chuckled.

"We need something perfect for tonight's banquet," she said, her eyes alight with excitement. "It has to be just right, especially with all the nobles and dignitaries attending. Especially if we're considering the fact that the other Princes of Japan are gonna be there!" she squealed.

Mina's eyes lit up as she pulled a gown from the rack. "This one," she mumbled, holding it up. The dress was a stunning shade of crimson, a shade that matched Katsuki's eyes, you thought.

"Other Princes of Japan?" you asked as she prepared a bath for you, adding a few drops of a coconut-scented mix, something that would be perfect for catching everyone's nose.

"Yeah. Princes Midoriya and Todoroki?" she asked, and you stared at her with puzzlement. "Really? Have you been living under a rock?!"

You chuckled. "I guess."

"Alrighty, I'll fill you in as we get you ready." She nodded and helped you into the bathtub.

After some time, Mina stepped back, taking a good look at you. Your hair bounced as you turned to look at her with a shy smile. "Pretty as a princess!" she cooed at you, like a mother to her child on their first day of school.

"Okay! This way!"

Taking a deep breath, you made your way to the dining hall. The grand room was filled with the soft hum of conversation and the clinking of silverware. "Good luck, girly," she hummed behind you, and you immediately felt her step back, allowing you to enter.

Two ginormous thrones stood firm and tall at the head of the room. On the bigger one sat a male, Katsuki's father, you presumed. His soft gaze immediately locked onto you as you entered. His hair was a homely brown, something that reminded you a lot of your mother's brownies.

Next to him sat a woman. She looked extremely young; for a second, you almost mistook her for Katsuki's sister. Her eyes looked worn, now a shade of bromine. It made you wonder if Katsuki's eyes would take on the same shade when he grew older. Her hair was spiky and untamed, just like her son's. Upon meeting eye contact with her, she immediately beamed brightly at you.

"Your Highnesses," you bowed, almost perfectly for someone new to royal life. He dismissed you with a wave of his hand, and you stood up straight, head held high as you met his gaze.

"Ah, you must be the girl we've heard so much about," the man smiled, crow's feet at his tired eyes. "King Masaru. This lovely lady is my wife, Queen Mitsuki." He looked at her lovingly, and she laced their hands together. How cute.

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks at the sudden attention. "It's an honor meeting you both, Your Highnesses. I never knew that he spoke about me."

"Damn right I do," a new voice pitched in from the background, and you spun on your heel, noticing the familiar ash-blond hair pop into the room.

"Katsuki Bakugo, you brat! How dare you barge into the throne room without knocking!" his mother stood up and walked up to the two of you, smacking Katsuki upside the head.

You looked at the two in shock. Did she really just...?

"YOU DAMN HAG!" Katsuki screeched. "I'M A PRINCE AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT." He stomped his foot like a petulant child throwing a tantrum.

"OH, YOU THINK THAT YOU'VE GROWN OUT OF YOUR SHOES, YOUNG MAN?" She grabbed onto one of his ears and pulled it hard until he whined and mumbled out an apology. You looked back to the King and watched as he chuckled with an amused look on his face. It must be a normal occurrence around here.

"Damn hag," Katsuki grumbled, coming to stand at your side and wrapping a hand around your waist. "Ya look nice," he mumbled into your ear, and the Queen looked at the two of you with raised eyebrows.

The King and Queen exchanged a glance but were cut off by a knight entering the room. "Your Majesties." He bowed. Wait, you'd recognize that voice. Kirishima?

"Dinner is ready, and your guests have been seated." And sure enough, there stood the redhead, bowing lowly before leaving the room.

"Thank you, Eijiro. We'll be there." The king nodded and stood up, his wife immediately at his side, locking her left arm onto his extended one. "Come on, you lovebirds. The most important people are here to approve you, Y/N." She smiled warmly at you.

As you walked towards the grand dining room, the soft clinking of heels echoed in the marble hallway.

The opulent decor and lavish surroundings only added to the surreal feeling of the evening. Katsuki's hand was still securely around your waist, a gesture that both reassured and anchored you in this unfamiliar world.

The grand double doors of the dining hall loomed ahead, flanked by two imposing guards in ornate uniforms. They stood at attention, their faces stern and expressionless. As you approached, one of the guards stepped forward, clearing his throat.

"Announcing Their Majesties, King Masaru and Queen Mitsuki, along with His Royal Highness, Prince Katsuki," he intoned, his voice carrying through the hall.

Great. Just great.

Your heart sank a little as the guard finished his announcement, omitting your name entirely. How embarrassing.

The nobles and dignitaries who had turned to acknowledge the royal family now looked at you with mild confusion. You could feel their judgmental eyes boring into you.

Katsuki's grip on your waist tightened slightly. You glanced up at him and saw a flash of irritation in his eyes. Without missing a beat, he leaned down and whispered something to the guard. You couldn't make out the words, but the effect was immediate.

The guard's face paled, his posture stiffening as he realized his mistake. "My apologies," he stammered.

"Announcing Her Royal Highness, Princess Y/N."

The correction hung in the air, and for a moment, the room was silent.

Then, as if on cue, the nobles and dignitaries bowed deeply, their earlier confusion replaced with acknowledgment.

Katsuki's intense gaze remained on the guard for a moment longer before he turned back to you, his expression softening.

"Let's go," he murmured, guiding you further into the room.

You felt a rush of gratitude and relief, appreciating Katsuki's insistence on your proper recognition. Looking up at him, you gave him a small smile. "Thank you," you whispered.

Katsuki's parents, seated at the head of the table, exchanged a glance that spoke of approval and satisfaction.

He pulled out a chair for you next to his, and you took your place, feeling the eyes of the other guests upon you.

The grand dining table was a sight to behold, laden with exquisite dishes and adorned with elegant floral arrangements. The room buzzed with small conversations, and as you settled into your seat next to Katsuki, you felt a bit of the earlier anxiety melt away.

Suddenly, a woman stood up, her warm brown eyes glaring down at you, making you feel uncomfortable. She used her fork and cup to avert the attention of everyone at the table to her.

"I was wondering if you were still interested in marrying Prince Bakugo to my daughter, Princess Uraraka."

Wait... What?

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cinnamonest · 2 months

Text

I've been thinking more about promiscuous darlings which led me to the idea of prostitute!darling, and I was thinking about that like in that event a while back where Paimon says Kaveh seems like “the kind of guy that would be easy to take advantage of” and it got me thinking how quickly and readily he would fall in love with a prostitute… literally lured and baited as easily as a fish to a hook.

He doesn't like the thought of what he's doing, initially. He's never been the sort of person who associates with morally questionable things — he’s heard that a lot of those girls don't really want to be doing it, they just need money, so participating would be taking advantage of them, wouldn't it? He couldn't do something so awful.

But he's got a lot of pent up frustration. His work is hard, he's not in a good place financially, he's stressed, pent up, and has no outlet for release. And even if he strives to be a good person, he's still a guy, still has urges that, when gone unmet, only contribute to that frustration.

In hindsight, he feels like something possessed him. Couldn't say exactly what caused him to take a course of action so far removed from what he would have thought was his personal character.

It's just a particularly bad day, after particularly disagreeable clients spent a particularly long time endlessly getting in his face and complaining and snapping at him, he worked particularly late and is particularly frustrated and seething and wallowing as he sulks home so late at night, and he's particularly irritated because some construction going on forces him to take a different route home, and—

You just so happen to call out to him. And when he turns his head, he immediately stiffens up.

So pretty. You have that specific body type he’s always found most alluring, always pictured in his head when he would lay in bed and jerk off all day after classes. And he can certainly tell, because those outfits you girls on this part of the street wear certainly leave very little to the imagination. So much skin, he can see your entire leg, from the hip down to the ankles and all the curving along the way, he can see most of your tits too, cleavage spilling out from the top. It's immediately captivating. If he was thinking straight, he would suppose that's kind of the point, but he's too lost in the sudden burst of stimulation to his eyes to think about much at all.

You have such a nice smile, such a sweet voice. And now that you have his attention, you put on that whimsical feminine charm, shift your weight from one foot to the other, hips swaying all playfully, and he has to ask you to repeat what you said because he didn't hear you the first time, he was too distracted, and it feels so embarrassing to say that, but you just giggle — it's so cute — and repeat your question — if he wants to come inside.

He swallows, stumbles over his words at the prospect, you're being very forward — oh, wait, you probably mean come inside the building. Oh… that makes more sense, at this stage in the process. Whoops…

But that isn't much better. He's still red in the face and hesitates, all uh, ah, I, um, I just…

Yes, he isn't sure exactly what possesses him. It’s not something he would ever do on his own, surely. It feels more like the word comes out of his mouth on its own.

Sure.

The following events seem almost surreal, in hindsight. He can't remember what you even talked about, some empty meaningless conversation about what he does for a living or if he's been around this area before, some placeholder of a conversation that he knows full well is merely a courtesy to make it all feel a little more natural, empty words that are mutually understood to be just a buffer to prevent awkwardness as you walk up the stairs, to fill the short span of time before you get to the point.

He remembers said point a lot better. Long after it's over, he can remember the feeling of your mouth on his, and the way you pulled on the back of his neck to pull him on top of you, the rush of euphoric chemicals to the brain the moment you pulled just one little button undone and the whole thing you're wearing comes falling off, the visual of your body (he’s never actually seen a girl naked in real life before, it’s so captivating, the anatomy textbooks don’t do it justice), and the way your tits bounce with the movements and the way they feel in his mouth and the image of his cock driving into you over and over (no one ever told him it feels so warm and wet, so good, has he really been missing out on this all this time?) and the sounds you made are practically permanently burned into his brain.

So much so, he keeps thinking about it for days on end. He felt kind of sad when he left, but he knows that he only paid for a limited time slot, so it would be unfair to ask to stay any longer, but the way you smiled and waved and told him you hoped to see him again — still naked, body pressed up against the doorframe, the way your chest shifted when you waved — made him feel so warm, made his heart beat fast all over again.

It's all so distracting. He works at a much slower pace than usual, the following days, keeps getting distracted by the lingering visuals in his head and the way he keeps getting hard whenever he thinks about it, and not to mention the guilt.

Yes, as euphoric as it was, he feels terrible. Like he's done something wrong. Swears to himself that he'll forget about it and never do it again, that it was a one-time thing.

But he begins to rationalize it to himself.

Sure, you do it because you need money, but that means that if no one participated in the exchange, then you wouldn't make any money at all, and that would be worse, right? Besides, everyone knows some of those guys that engage in this sort of thing are terrible, mean people — but he's not, he's a really nice guy! So by seeing you, by being the one to buy your time, he's protecting you from potentially having to do it with really bad men. So, when you think about it, he's actually doing something really good.

And it improves his life, too. The next day, he finds that the nagging clients don't really get under his skin at all. Sure, they're complaining and being mean to him, but he's not really paying attention, it all feels far away, like it's not even real. He just feels full of this warm, fuzzy feeling, total bliss, like floating, without a care in the world. He isn't stressed, isn't worried. He even thinks to himself that, you know what, that task or that work can wait until tomorrow, no rush, and if someone gets mad about it, too bad.

He ends up just laying in bed, grinning like an idiot, basking in the euphoric high that lasts him several days on end.

…Except then, it fades away.

Soon he's back to the stress, constant state of being overwhelmed, the little things start to upset him again, and he actually feels more miserable than he did before, now that he has such a good feeling to compare to.

You said you hope he comes back, didn’t you? And he’s pretty sure he stuttered out an o-oh, okay, so now he’s obligated.

Thus, soon enough, he's back.

It's not like he's intentionally seeking you out. He just felt like walking home a different way today, is all, which just so happens to be the route that took him by you last time, and he has no intention of seeing you, it just so happens to be the case that you are standing around outside and you do happen to see him and you choose to call out to him (by his name!! You remember him!!), you're smiling and have such a sweet voice, you clearly want him to come in (do you like him? You wouldn't be smiling if you didn't, right?) and it would be mean of him to reject you, wouldn't it?

Yes, you're clearly happy. You smile all over again. He's not doing anything wrong, it's only wrong if the girl doesn't like doing it. He would never taken advantage of one of those vulnerable girls that's forcing herself to do it for money. But you're not like that, so it's okay.

Which is how he ends up back there a third time. Because it's okay, and it makes you happy, and it makes him very happy, so it's all okay.

And besides, what you two have is different. It's not like the normal cases, where the girl is just in it for money and doesn't want the guy at all. You clearly enjoyed your time with him. Probably a welcome relief from all the gross old guys you have to see.

And it's different because it's not just sex. Normally, with this sort of thing, it's cold and impersonal, isn't it?

But you smile so sweet and run your fingers through his hair, and cradle his head in your arms and pull him close and coo and fuss and run your fingers down his back. And since he intends to pay for the entire night this time, you get to just lay there together, and you're so warm and soft and you smile and giggle as he talks, so pretty, so nice to him, your skin is so good to touch, you smell so nice.

And the sex itself is different too — you like it, genuinely, he can tell, you make such nice sounds and lewd faces and look directly into his eyes and pull his head forward to kiss him (he one heard someone say that prostitutes never kiss clients, so if you do that it must mean he's different), and you hold him so close and tighten up around him and it feels so so so so good, and the way you quiver and the sounds get louder and you squeal and spasm and it's so so SO good, too good, it feels so passionate that it has to be real.

Yes, it is real. It's not just acting. He can feel the slick wetness all over his hips from you, that means it's real. And you don't even mind when he gets a bit lost in the feeling, starts to really let all the pent-up irritation out, gets rougher and harder and holds you by your throat. He feels so terrible after he cums and realizes what he was doing, keeps sputtering out apologies over and over, but you smile and wave your hand and say it's more than fine, giggle and kiss his forehead, say you wouldn't expect it from such a sweet boy like him, but you like it. If you're fine with it, if you like it, then you're not scared he might actually hurt you. You must really trust him, then.

The downside is that now, work feels so miserable. He keeps thinking about how much he wants to go back to you. Each project feels like torture — why is he here, negotiating with these disagreeable people, slaving away all night, when he could be balls deep in you again, hear your voice, feel your touch?

And he starts to get so irritated and frustrated again, and he finds that this time around, he doesn't have to sit there and let the frustration hit a peak before deciding to do something, he doesn't have to rationalize it for hours on end just to allow himself to give into the urge — the moment the frustration rises, his mind immediately settled on the decision. He has to go see you. You'll make everything better.

Except now, he realizes as he reaches into his drawers, there's a different problem.

…He has no money left.

That means he can't see you. He spent all his savings on you last time.

It makes him feel sick. This can't be happening. What is he supposed to do? He can't just go back to dealing with the frustration all the time! Now that he knows what it's like to be so happy, he can't go without it. He needs it.

It's not just the sex itself, he's not some kind of degenerate, he wants to see you! That's wholesome and good, isn't it? So it’s not like he’s some sort of pervert addicted to sex itself, he’s addicted to you.

And besides, if he isn't there for you, you'll have to deal with other men, and most guys who see prostitutes are bad guys, right? What if one of them hurts you? What if you're expecting him to come, and then you'll feel hurt and sad if he doesn't? You'll be disappointed. He can't let that happen.

So where is he supposed to get money from…?

Well. He has a few means, as he starts to brainstorm a bit. Right, there is a small stash of emergency money he had put away at the bottom of another drawer, that he was saving for a situation where he needed it, but put it away so he wouldn't be tempted to spend it on something unnecessary.

But this isn't like that. It is necessary, for him to continue functioning properly. And for you to have the money to get by! Not only is he guaranteeing your safety for the night, but what if you didn't get anyone if he didn't come? Well, it's unlikely no one would come, but still, you might not make enough money, and what happens then? Don't those guys that own the brothels get really mean to the girls that don't make enough? He can't have that happen. So, this situation absolutely justifies the use of the emergency stash. It's enough to give him another three nights or so. He can just use enough money for one visit, and then by the time he needs another one, he'll have brought in some new money.

No, no, you know what? You need it more than he does. He just gives it all to you at once, and to be honest, it does make his heart skip a beat when your eyes widen in shock. This way, he can reserve the next three nights in a row, right? He originally intended to space them out a bit, but, no, he’s already here, and he’s really needy right now, he’ll just do three nights in a row and figure out how to get more later. He'll just pay upfront. You're so happy. It makes him feel good.

And then, as the night goes on, when you're laying there all curled up together talking about all sorts of things, he off-handedly mentions that you wear that dress of yours all the time, he's never seen you without it, is it your favorite?

And then you get this sheepish look on your face, give an awkward laugh, say that well, you don't really have any other clothes, you sold them all to get by before you ended up here, and you give so much back to the owners that you just don't have enough to get any more…

That's so sad. Poor thing. You can't just not have enough clothes… well, he only has a few things he changes back and forth himself, but girls are really into clothes and stuff, aren't they? You deserve to have nice things, it's sad that you don't get to. He keeps it in mind, says he promises he'll get you something. You say he doesn’t have to. You’re so sweet and considerate. That just makes him want to help you even more.

So when his next project is complete and he gets the payout for it, sure, he only needs about half of it to pay you for one or two nights each week for the next month, and he could get you something cheap and still have a little left over for rent, but… you deserve nice stuff. And the nice stuff would make you so much happier, too, it would earn him favor from you… besides, he has another project he'll finish soon, he can just pay late rent using that.

So he can get the nice stuff. Besides, even shopping exclusively for higher-end stuff, it's still a bit cheaper to buy the super revealing clothes, since they use less fabric. Not that he's a pervert or anything, it's just that you need clothes like that for your job, don't you? It's part of how you lure guys in. The fact that you'll look really nice in it to him is just a side bonus, it's really for your sake.

…Which, actually, does make him feel a bit sick to his stomach. He's getting you clothes that you'll use to hook other guys who aren't him. But, no, he's a mature person, he can't… let himself get upset about something like that… it’s not your fault… he'll just choose to not think about it.

He can distract himself with how happy you are. Your eyes light up and you smile so big and you stand on your toes to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his face all over. You're happy. You're really, really happy, because of him, he made you happy, his heart is beating so fast, and when you put them on it shows off even more than he thought it would, you can almost see everything, it just barely covers the bare minimum and you seem to really like that, you pull him close and reach a leg up behind him and pull his hips forward and the rest of the night is a hazy blur of lust and euphoria, you're so happy, and he's happy too.

It feels so good. He's been missing out on this all these years. It's the best feeling of anything in the world. He's so, so happy.

He's so happy that people in his life start to comment on it. They ask if something good happened, they say they're glad he seems less stressed. He just shrugs it off, says he's just been feeling better recently, or makes something up about a different change in habits.

And sure, he has to tell Alhaitham that he won't have rent just this one time, it's just that something came up, although he won't specify what it is, but he makes it sound important — not dishonestly, because it is important, it's just that he knows that the first assumption one would make would he something a bit… more important, but if that assumption is made, that's not his fault.

Nonetheless, he's soon out of money again. Gets hit with the same wave of panic. He's got a routine now, a habit, he's dependent on you for his stress. He needs it. If he doesn't get what he needs, how is he supposed to go on? How is he supposed to function? He can't just use his hand anymore, it's not enough, it doesn't have the same effect. And he can't just beg you to sleep with him anyway, he knows you need money, he would never put you in that situation, it would be unfair to you, he's a better man than that. He has to pay you somehow.

He has some things he doesn't need. Tools he hasn't used in ages. Some stuff he hasn't worn or needed in a long time. He can sell a few things.

And, you know what, this client has been really mean to him anyway, so if he cuts a few corners to get paid a bit earlier, it's no big deal, the guy doesn't deserve his best work anyway. It’s a mentality he normally would never take, but… this is different. This is a unique situation that calls for such measures.

And he's taken out loans before from the bank, usually for projects, and he usually pays it back, so they undoubtedly assume it's just another case of that, so he'll take out a decently sized loan… of course, he may need more money for more upcoming projects, and then they won't give him a new loan until he pays back the old one, but… well, he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

And normally, he would never, ever, ever do something bad, he's a person who prides himself on his moral values, but it's not like he's doing something bad in this case, its just pure coincidence that he happens to find some guy’s wallet dropped on the ground. It just so happens to have a lot of money in it. And he returns the wallet itself into the nearest law enforcement, he gives the object itself and all the IDs and such back. He's sure the rightful owner would pay him for the good deed anyway. And when you think about it, the fact that this would happen to him just when he needed it, it's probably some kind of divine grace that this happened, and who is he to deny what the higher powers gift him with?

He can keep making it work. And he can keep buying out larger and larger blocks of your time, to ensure no one else gets to you — after that one time he arrived to find out you were already occupied for the time being, it practically made his blood boil, made him feel so sick he walked home and couldn't get the images out of his mind of you with someone else, he can't let that happen again, it would kill him inside.

Likewise, he has to get a bit more earnings, take on some more jobs, sacrifice some more sleep because you keep hinting at certain things you want, and if he doesn't buy them for you, who will? It's all stuff you need anyway — well, stuff you need for your job, all the fancy jewelry and perfumes and clothes and stuff. And he gets benefits, too — your love and favor, you take initiative more, you ride him and kiss him more and let him do all sorts of filthy things you don't let anyone else do (he knows because you told him so), you even let him stop wearing protection when he sleeps with you, and it's so much better, it's completely different, he can't go back to the old way, having to be deprived of that warm, wet heat would be utterly miserable. You even give him a night or two for free, because you like him so much, tell him it should be a secret just between you two, okay? Of course, you can't do it all for free, so he has to come back again soon, but you know, this way, he'll stay incentivized, which is good — because you want him to come back because you like him, not for money, no, never that.

You tell him he's your favorite. You say that he makes you happy. You say you would be heartbroken if he ever stopped coming. You say that you need him.

You say that you love him.

He feels like he's going to die of happiness right there on the spot.

You mention that if someone just paid off your price to the owner (said buying price is whatever the owner decides), plus the debt you accumulate from staying here (it's well known that those fees are how they trap these poor girls into endless servitude), then you would be free — that if someone just pays for you, you could be free to do what you want, that you could sleep with him every day, you could even get married.

So he has to do it. He feels bad about the concept of buying a human being, but, his situation is different, because he's a good guy and loves you. Besides, the sooner he does, then the sooner you'll never have sex with anyone but him ever again. He's saving you, really.

And if he doesn't, what if someone else does? What if someone else took you away from him? He can't even imagine it. The very notion makes him feel nauseous, panicked, distraught. He can't let that happen.

It's not unfeasible. If he really budgets well, saves just a little at a time, he can get you out in no time. Just a year or so. He'll start saving.

And sure, he hasn't paid rent in a while now, and he gets these questions of where his money is going, why he's leaving late at night when he never did that before, all these pesky questions he shouldn't have to answer, because it's none of your business, as he mutters in response. He's just got too much going on right now, and strapped for cash, he'll pay it back eventually, that's what matters.

…Which also makes him realize that, even if he does buy you, you'll have to just come live here with him, and how is he supposed to explain that to Alhaitham… he can just say he got a girlfriend, right? Still, people might recognize you, he'd find out eventually, and then he'd probably realize all the missed rent payments were actually going to him getting laid, and that's… not good… he just wouldn't understand, he's totally lacking in any understanding of romanticism or love… such unfeeling pragmatists are so annoying to deal with… he'll just have to deal with that when it happens…

Except it does end up happening sooner than later. Someone or another (some jerk who can't keep their mouth shut, he'll find out eventually), must have seen him around at night, going to you, and that same person must have reported on him (like a grade school tattletale crying to a teacher, hmph!) and that's how he eventually gets confronted, point blank (absolutely no sense of tact or appropriateness!), one night as he’s trying to leave to go see you, but finds the other blocking the door.

Are you blowing your money on a whore?

Of course, before addressing the matter directly, it's important to point out that it is rude to call women terms like that, they are prostitutes and they deserve to be respected as much as anyone else—

So you are.

Which starts off a much bigger, longer, more heated argument, in which he tries to explain that no he’s not dodging the question and that it is not prostitution, you two are in a relationship, you just so happen to also be a prostitute, but he's trying to help you change that— hey, what's with the sighing like that and rubbing the bridge of his nose like he's exasperated? It's true! You even said you love him!

Okay, yes, maybe it's true that they all say that, but in this case, you mean it, you're different, he wouldn't get it.

And sure, the whole thing is probably surprising from him of all people— what do you mean it's not that surprising? What's that supposed to mean? What— who are you calling an “ideal target”?! That's so mean! You—

And despite his best efforts, there is no point in trying to use reason with someone so cold and devoid of capacity to understand love. It's futile. How pessimistic, so annoying. Besides, he's implying you're a bad person, and he can't stand for that. No, you're not using him, how could he say that?

Eventually it becomes very clear that the conversation is going nowhere, it's very much like talking to a brick wall, someone who just refuses to even try and understand what you two have. No matter. Fine, fine, he'll focus on paying back rent first, but then he's going to buy you, and then he'll see firsthand how loving you are (and surely will not charge him extra for another person living in the house, as he was just threatened with)… he'll see. Eventually.

#baby boy...#.kv

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joelscruff · 1 year

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safety (boyfriend's dad!joel x f!reader)

just a bit of an origin story for my boyfriend's dad!joel relationship. you can read other installments of this fic here. this one isn't smutty but i hope you enjoy 💕 and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip. summary: you find yourself falling for your boyfriend's father. rating: 18+ (mdni) warnings: age difference, cheating, daddy issues, daddy kink, lap sitting, pet names (use of babygirl) word count: 2.2k

the first time your boyfriend's father kisses you, it's because you ask him to.

you've always looked at him a bit differently, always found yourself taking quick peeks out of the corner of your eye whenever he's in the room, given him shy smiles and giggled at all his jokes (most of which were actually funny, believe it or not). the first time you'd met him you'd gone to shake his hand, expecting a firm shake and a quick nod like your own father, but he'd surprised you completely when he'd wrapped you up in his arms, given you a bear hug and softly told you he was so happy to meet you.

your boyfriend always rolls his eyes at his father's affection, his jokes, his quirks. it's been almost disappointing in a way, to see the way his father behaves in comparison to his son. your boyfriend constantly seems to cultivate a cold exterior - and interior, if you're being honest with yourself - while his father radiates warmth and welcomeness, a safeness you've never seen in your own father. you wonder how your boyfriend is able to take such advantage of his father's kindness, that safety that so many people can only crave and never experience.

the two of you fight a lot, but this is normal for you. every relationship you've had - whether familial or romantic - has involved some form of conflict. it's just the way things are; you've come to accept that. the only difference is that before this you never had a third party standing on the outside, witnessing it, worrying about it.

"are you okay?"

the first time he catches you crying you feel embarrassed; until this point you've put on a good front, been your sweet and passive self around him. now he sees a different side of you, the side everyone else in your life has seen dozens of times. the side that hurts, feels pain, suffers.

you nod, leaning against the banister of the front patio and biting your lip, "yeah, i'm fine," your voice cracks and breaks - you're not fine, your boyfriend just berated you for messing up his concentration during one of his stupid games, called you a waste of space. but you're not going to tell his father that.

"you don't look fine," he murmurs, taking a step toward you, "something happen?"

you shake your head, "no really, i'm okay, mr. miller."

"joel," he corrects you softly with a gentle smile, and you try to smile back.

"joel," you repeat, "sorry."

"don't be sorry," he says tenderly, taking another step toward you and carefully placing a hand on your shoulder, "i want you to know...if you ever need to talk to somebody, i'm here. i'll always listen, alright?"

you're not sure what to say; no one has ever given you an offer like that before. it's confusing and surreal. your brow furrows but you slowly nod, "okay."

he gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze and then goes back inside the house, leaving you standing there alone. the ghost of his touch weighs heavily for the rest of the evening, his words echoing in your mind. he can't really mean that, can he?

the next time he sees you cry it's only about a week after the first time, and this time he knows what's wrong. you can see it in his expression, the quiet anger burning behind his glasses for his own son.

"i won't defend him," he tells you softly, sitting next to you on the couch in the living room while your boyfriend yells something incoherent down the hall, "you can talk to me."

you find yourself confiding in him briefly, only briefly. you don't go into much detail, just tell him you hate being made to feel worthless, that it's something you've dealt with for a long time. he touches your shoulder again, squeezes it calmingly, reassuringly. you look into his eyes and feel yourself falling before you can even register it. he cares about you.

you think about him a lot. during the day, nights, when you're in bed and can't sleep and just want somebody to hold you. you imagine his arms wrapped around you, remember that first time you met when he'd hugged you so tight and welcomed you so warmly. you want him to hold you like that again, touch you, love you. you touch yourself and pretend it's his fingers, you bury your face in your pillow as you come and pretend it's his chest.

you think of him when you have sex with your boyfriend. you'd feel bad, but you've started to become numb with the way he treats you, uses you. you close your eyes and curl your hand in his hair and pretend it's his father on top of you, his father inside you, his father kissing your neck.

every week your boyfriend competes in ridiculously boring online competitions; you show up at his house only for the promise of seeing joel, talking to him, sharing a quick moment in the kitchen or living room with him. you sit on your boyfriend's bed and watch from afar as he bangs on the keyboard and shouts aggressive things into his microphone, sounding like a whiny and petulant child. you wonder what you even see in him anymore, what you even saw in him to begin with. you should end it, you know you should. but then how would you see his dad?

he berates you again for messing up his concentration, tells you to leave for a bit and to "stop being so annoying". you don't even protest, just climb off his bed and leave the room, slamming the door louder than necessary behind you.

joel spends a lot of time in his office; he's the head of a contracting company, always making plans, doing paperwork, making phone calls. he has his shit together, another thing you feel drawn to. he's the only person in your life who seems to know exactly what to do in any given situation, knows who he is and where he's going.

you find yourself climbing the stairs and knocking softly on his office door. "come in," he calls from inside, and you slowly push it open.

he looks up from his desk, scattered with paper and blueprints. his brow furrows when he sees it's you, "hey, sweetheart, you alright?"

you close the door behind you and then stand there for a few seconds just staring at him; he's got on a cozy looking grey sweater, knitted and warm. his jeans are dark and his socks are mismatched, a quirk you love. he looks perfectly disheveled in his joel miller sort of way, hair thick and curly, beard scruffy and soft. his glasses accentuate the kindness of his eyes, the tenderness as he looks at you. he's like a comforting beam of light, a safe haven.

"can you hold me?" you ask softly, barely a whisper. it's out before you even know you're saying it, and then you're biting down hard on your lip and feeling tears prick in your eyes.

he seems surprised but only for a moment, then he makes his way toward you in two long strides and wraps his arms around you, pulling you in and holding you close. you melt into his embrace, burying your head in his warm sweater and almost collapsing into his arms, feeling yourself begin to cry steadily. you should feel embarrassed but you're too overwhelmed by the feeling of finally being held by him again, feeling him so close, inhaling the comforting scent of him.

you feel him press a soft kiss to the top of your head, a gesture of comfort and safety, nothing more, "you're okay," he murmurs into your hair, "i've got you."

he holds you like that for a long time and makes no move to let go, just lets you stand there and take what you desperately need from him. your cries die down eventually until you're sniffling lightly into the thick fabric of his sweater and just breathing him in. his hands trail up and down your back comfortingly, tracing patterns and words, almost like a secret language.

"i feel safe with you," you mumble against his chest, but the words are muffled and hard to make out.

"hm?"

you pull back a bit to peer up at him with tear-filled eyes, cheeks pink and puffy, "i feel safe with you," you repeat, voice shaky but much more relaxed, calm.

he smiles softly, peering down at you with that familiar tenderness, "i'm glad," he murmurs, and you swear you catch his eyes trail down to your lips for a brief moment, "i want you to feel safe with me."

"can you kiss me?" you whisper, voice breaking on the last word, not caring that this could make or break the quiet companionship you've formed with him, "please."

his brow furrows again but he doesn't pull away, lips parting a bit in surprise, "sweetheart, i'm not sure that's-"

"please," you repeat, voice raw and desperate, "it's all i think about."

his expression relaxes then, the tenderness returning. with a resigned look you watch as he leans his face down toward you; you close your eyes and allow him to press his lips gently against yours, soft and sweet. he's so gentle, so warm, so safe. your arms wrap tighter around him as you kiss him back, a soft whimper falling from the back of your throat. it's perfect. he's perfect.

when he pulls away he leaves his forehead pressed against yours, and when you open your eyes your heart stutters when you see his face so close, lips wet from your saliva and eyes dark with desire.

"that what you needed?" he murmurs softly, nose brushing against yours.

you nod and kiss him again, humming quietly against him when he pulls you in closer and palms your back firmly, holding you close. you're not sure how it happens but you both end up on the small couch in the corner of his office, him sitting back against the cushions while you seat yourself in his lap, a leg on either side of his thighs. his hands travel inside your shirt, exploring the soft expanse of your back as you whimper again into his mouth and revel in the feeling of being touched by someone so different.

"what else do you need?" he breathes, voice deep and husky as his hands travel from your back to your face, cradling it in his palms, "i'll give it to you, sweetheart, anything you ask. just tell me."

you could say a multitude of things; you could tell him to kiss you again, touch you, fuck you, the list goes on. and you want him to do all of that, but the one thing on your mind is what inevitably slips past your lips.

"i just want you to hold me," you whisper, and you don't care if you sound pathetic, "please."

he looks at you with a great deal of pain in his eyes, an empathetic gaze you've seen numerous times. he thumbs your cheeks, wipes away the tears there and slowly nods.

"okay, babygirl," he murmurs, "i'll hold you."

you sit in his lap for the next hour. it's quiet and peaceful and perfect; he rubs your back while you bury your face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in and letting his presence completely invade your senses. you fall asleep briefly, but when you wake up you're happy to find that you're still in his lap, still being held. he makes absolutely no moves to remove you from him, to pull away or leave the room. he just holds you.

"thank you," you whisper finally; it's time to leave, you know this. your boyfriend will be looking for you soon, wondering where you went and why you didn't come back. you pull your face up from joel's neck and look down at him with tenderness, love.

"any time," he murmurs with a gentle smile, then leans forward a bit to press a tiny kiss to the tip of your nose, "i mean it, sweetheart. any time you're upset, any time you need to be held...you come to me, okay?"

you nod, biting down on your lip to keep the tears at bay, "no one's ever held me like this before," you whisper, "not even my own father."

his brows scrunch together and he touches your arms, squeezing them carefully in his hands, "i'm sorry, babygirl," he breathes, "you don't deserve that," his eyes capture yours in an intimate gaze, "you deserve the world."

the word is there, fighting to be spoken behind your lips. but you don't say it. you don't want to make him uncomfortable, don't want to ruin something that's only just started. but you feel it there, the desire to call him what you've been wanting to call him since the day you met. but that's a conversation for another day.

instead of words, you settle for a kiss. you lean down and touch your mouth to his, feel the gentle scratch of his scruff against your chin as you open a bit wider to allow his tongue to prod inside, just for a moment. he tastes like comfort, feels like safety.

daddy.

#joel miller x reader #fic: bd!joel #*

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brokehorrorfan · 6 months

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6 Things I Learned from the Lisa Frankenstein Commentary

We don’t get movies like Lisa Franeknstein often, which is a shame because it’s endlessly charming yet delightfully twisted. While it disappointed at the box office, it has "cult classic" written all over it.

The coming-of-age horror-comedy is out today on Blu-ray and DVD. Among the special features is an audio commentary by Zelda Williams. Here are 6 things I learned…

1. Catch Me If You Can inspired the opening credit sequence.

The opening credit sequence, which briefly depicts the Creature's love story from his previous life in the style of Victorian shadow box art, was inspired by Catch Me If You Can.

"We wanted to do something interesting with the credits in this bit. I was really inspired by Catch Me If You Can, which I thought the opening credits were particularly interesting and helped establish the story before we ever got to it. And because Creature doesn't speak this whole movie, I wanted an opportunity to show what his life would have been like."

2. The film was originally intended to be rated R.

Although Lisa Frankenstein pushes the PG-13 rating as far as it can go, it was originally intended to be a hard R. Williams cites the party scene, in which Lisa originally smoked a laced joint rather than drinking a PCP cocktail, as a difficult revision.

"This is where stuff got a little complicated when we were going from R-rated to PG-13. Originally there was a coated joint they were passing around. This is one of the only scenes that I'm not sure I'm as fond of in comparison to the joint stuff. Most of the rest of the changes were fine, but this one I find very strange. It's just a very different reaction and interaction than what used to be there. However, these are the things that happen when making a movie."

3. Creature is an homage to Day of the Dead's Bub.

Not only Lisa is seen watching George A. Romero's Day of the Dead in the film, but the Creature is an homage to its iconic zombie, Bub.

"Creature for me is definitely an homage to Buster Keaton, but he's also an homage to the zombie you just saw on screen, Bub, who was in Day of the Dead, a Romero movie that I'm very fond of. It was an incredibly emotive and a very intelligent zombie and ended up getting revenge against the asshole in the movie. It was one of my favorite monsters ever made, so when I could put that on screen during the movie, it made me very happy."

4. Zelda hid a tribute to her father, Robin Williams.

Williams is the daughter of Robin Williams, and she included his 1983 comedy album, Throbbing Python of Love, among the records scattered on the floor in Lisa's living room.

"Oh, there's Dad! We used one of Dad's vinyl albums because we had to scatter some across the floor." She refers to it as "a little, mini Easter Egg for me."

5. The police officers are named after John Waters.

The police officers in the film are Officer John (played by Walker Babington) and Officer Waters (Sylvia Grace Crim) — named on a whim in honor of cult filmmaker, John Waters.

"They asked me to name the cops, because obviously they needed to have name tags, so I named them Officer John and Officer Waters." She thought no one would notice since they're so small, but a viewer pointed it out at a test screening.

6. The film is sprinkled with movie references.

Williams wore her influences on her sleeve with her directorial debut, and she pointed out several references on the commentary:

A Trip to the Moon (clip featured in Lisa's surreal dream sequence)

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (stylistic inspiration on the dream sequence)

Weird Science (the party scene)

Suspiria (red lighting during drug sequence)

My Boyfriend's Back (camera shot from inside a grave looking up at characters)

Kill Bill (weapon point-of-view shot)

E.T. (a boy on a bike — played by Diablo Cody's son — at the end)

Notting Hill (reading together on a bench at the end)

Lisa Frankenstein is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and Digital via Universal.

#lisa frankenstein #zelda williams #diablo cody #kathryn newton #cole sprouse #article #review #dvd #gift #liza soberano #henry eikenberry #joe chrest #carla gugino #horror #horror comedy

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badnewswhatsleft · 9 months

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scanned the little patrick interview from kerrang winter 2023<3

transcript under cut:

Patrick Stump’s mum is a methodical accountant who likes to plan ahead and think things through. She would bestow this organisational wisdom upon her son when he was growing up. When his band Fall Out Boy got signed, however, thereby kick-starting one of the most exciting trajectories of the past 20 years, Mrs Stump quickly realised there were limits to what she could assist him with.

“She said to me, ‘I can’t help you anymore - you’re beyond my area of expertise,’” Patrick recalls with a laugh.

In the years since, there has been no end of through-the-looking-glass moments for Fall Out Boy, a litany of incredible achievements highlighted by the ever-growing shows the Chicago four-piece - completed by bassist Pete Wentz, guitarist Joe Trohman and drummer Andy Hurley - have played. It’s an upscaling Patrick admits he still can’t fully process.

“I’m probably never going to get used to it, and I think I’m at peace with that,” he admits, taking time out backstage at Hamburg’s Barclays Arena on the band’s epic So Much For (Tour) Dust jaunt, which recently visited the UK.

Thankfully, Fall Out Boy will be back on these shores next summer, having been announced as headliners for Download Festival 2024, alongside Queens Of The Stone Age and Avenged Sevenfold. The news has given Patrick cause to reflect upon the pivotal shows and tours that have made FOB the band they are today, with a self-deprecating appraisal of the good times and the bad, the tiny gigs and the Hella Mega ones.

“A lot of my life makes sense to me, where I understand the various points of what happened and why, but there are moments with the shows we’ve played that make no sense at all,” Patrick reflects. “You go to arenas and they have pictures in the hallway of all the big artists that have played there, then they’ll have pictures of us, which sticks out to me!”

THE BAND’S FIRST-EVER SHOW AT DEPAUL UNIVERSITY CAFETERIA, 2001 “We were playing with some pretty cool math-rock and emo bands. When we got out there, we were horrible - I mean really terrible - and there were about three or four people there. I can’t remember what our band name was at the time - it wasn’t Fall Out Boy, and we were tossing some names around. I remember suggesting one of the names we had in mind to the drummer in one of the other bands and him telling me it sucked. We had a guitar player who I’d only met the week before and I’ve never seen since. I hope he’s doing good things. I heard he became a bike messenger. I cannot imagine a humbler beginning for a first show!”

FALL OUT BOY’S FIRST GIG WITH ANDY HURLEY, 2003 “I think it was with Andy’s other band, The Kill Pill. Andy played in both bands that night. It was a bigger show for us, opening for [Florida melodic hardcore band] As Friends Rust, and we didn’t have a guitar player, so I was playing guitar. It was weird because we were playing some newer songs, which stood out, so it felt like we’d started to actualise the band. I’m a drummer originally, so I was picky about drummers. But when we played with Andy, it was the first time that it felt right. I remember saying to a friend of mine who was there at the time that we were still a bad band then, and she said, ‘You guys couldn’t see it, but even then, it felt like the beginning of something.’”

THE FIRST UK TOUR, 2004 “One thing I remember was going to a Mexican restaurant, ordering tacos, and being unable to describe the things that arrived at the table - and not in a good way. That first UK tour was with Mest, and it was surreal. I think that might have been the first time I’d ever left the States, so going to another country felt like a big deal. When I got there, I realised the UK is similar in a lot of ways - particularly thanks to our shared musical history. One difference was that the venues all felt so much more punk rock than those in the States, with an unhinged basement vibe, which surprised me but was also thrilling.”

HEADLINING DECAYDANCE FEST AT THE HAMMERSMITH APOLLO, 2007 “I look back on some moments and realise they were bigger than I noticed at the time. The other bands on that bill - Panic! At The Disco, Gym Class Heroes, The Academy Is…, Cobra Starship - were all bands we’d played with a lot before that and were friends with, so at the time I thought, ‘Every show we do is Decaydance Fest!’ Then that moment in time was gone and I soon realised that it was crazy that we were able to get all those people together to do that show. You don’t necessarily realise you’re part of a thing when you’re part of a thing, so when I think back now, I’m amazed.”

THE LAST GIG BEFORE GOING ON HIATUS AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, 2009 “It was such a strange show. I had checked out at the time, and was busy thinking about solo stuff, but really I just wanted to make lots of music. One of the things that was crippling was making a record and then going on the road for two years to promote the record. For me, making records is what’s important, so the grind of having to make them so slowly was killing me. I was therefore in a bad space with the band. I think we were out with +44, and I remember Mark [Hoppus] shaving Pete’s head onstage. Pete had the famous haircut and that was the end of it. It was kind of a joke to do that, but it ended up proving to be fairly symbolic, as it really was the end to that whole moment.”

FALL OUT BOY’S FIRST GIG BACK AT SUBTERRANEAN, CHICAGO, 2013 “The whole thing happened so fast and so suddenly! We had a meeting in New York. The four of us met at our manager’s apartment and we talked about maybe getting together and seeing what happened. It was tense, actually, as we hadn’t talked to each other in a long time and there were all these old grievances - but there was also this sense that we were older and wiser. We put together some songs, and one of them was My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up). On the morning of the show, we appeared on a radio show and the whole station felt excited about the song. It felt like the beginning of a rollercoaster. That night, when we played Light Em Up, a song people could only have heard hours ago, the room exploded!”

CO-HEADLINING THE MONUMENTOUR WITH PARAMORE, 2014 “That was one of my favourite tours! Andy and I would do a drum-off, so we got to play together, which was a full-circle thing for me, as I had never got to play drums in front of people with the band before then - so that was fun! I remember thinking on that tour that we were really getting somewhere as a band. Our first show, we were a pretty bad band. For a while in the early days, we wrote better than we played, and we thought better than we wrote. But as time passed things really came together. That tour was a point where we felt that we were really getting somewhere. Plus, the audiences were great on that tour - incredibly excited and giving.”

HEADLINING WRIGLEY FIELD BASEBALL STADIUM IN CHICAGO, 2018 “When I was a kid, the height of my ambition was to play the [1,100-capacity] Metro in Chicago. I never thought in a million years that we’d get to play Wrigley Field - I didn’t even know that bands played there. It’s not a venue, it’s where the Cubs play. I’m still in disbelief that we’ve now played it three times! That doesn’t make any sense to me. The first time we did it was terrifying, but also familiar. We used to have an apartment in Roscoe Village, which is walking distance from Wrigley Field. I remember Pete and I writing [2003 single] Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy together, then we went jogging around Wrigley, and a group of drunk Cubs fans shouted ‘Fucking losers!’ at us. Being inside that structure years later, singing that song, was therefore so surreal.”

HAVING A FREDDIE MERCURY EXPERIENCE HEADLINING READING & LEEDS FESTIVAL, 2018 “I think about that regularly. I’m not a natural performer. I used to act, so I could act as a character, but I couldn’t really be me and sing onstage - that never used to be comfortable for me. I have this very specific memory of This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race. There was this part where I sling my guitar to the stage and I’m just singing and having the crowd sing with me. The way they responded at that point made me suddenly think, ‘Oh, I can do this!’ I remember running towards the audience with the microphone and the life that came back at me just blew me away. When you have an audience like that, you’re Freddie fucking Mercury! I think about that on an almost daily basis when we’re on tour. That song has a whole different life now because of my experiences at Reading & Leeds.”

PLAYING THE HELLA MEGA TOUR WITH GREEN DAY AND WEEZER, 2022 “I couldn’t have been more obsessed with a band than I was with Weezer in 1998-’99, when I was in high school. Then, years later, they’re your buddies and you’re playing with them and they’re playing some of your favourite songs ever. That is so strange. One of my musical origin stories was in fifth grade, when this kid in the middle of class beckoned me over. We snuck under a table, and he puts headphones on me and he plays Dookie. I was like, ‘What is this?!’ On that tour, Billie Joe Armstrong said I was a really good singer. I’m still recovering from that.”

#patrick stump #fall out boy #andy hurley #joe trohman #pete wentz #time capsule #read the charts #yaaay patrick crumbs <3 #biggest takeway is that he likes when audiences are excited #so if yall have GA standing tix to a fob show and all ur doing is standing there i will come to your location to shake you by the ankles.#/jk obviously but just barely.

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sitp-recs · 30 days

Note

hi! do u know of any fics with power imbalance in the relationship, but draco is the one who has the “power”? I always see that usually harry has the power in the power imbalance fics but seeing draco have power over harry would be good for a change :) thanks

Ohh that’s a great ask, anon! A couple fics came to mind, most of them with Healer!Draco which is👌🏼 enjoy!

Newts by astolat (E, 14k)

“I’m twenty-eight!” Harry said. “I’ve been an Auror for ten years! You want me to go back to Hogwarts now?"

Moneymaker by @dictacontrion (E, 16k)

As a top trader, Draco has power and money, suits and cars, houses and good champagne - everything a person could want. So when Auror Potter comes looking for help, Draco can't think of anything that might persuade him to lend a hand. Well...maybe one thing.

The Kaleidoscope Charm, or 50 Shades of Rainbow Magic by Omi_Ohmy (E, 27k)

Getting Draco Malfoy as a boss was not the worst thing that happened to Harry; getting a crush on him was.

Rarely Pure and Never Simple by birdsofshore (E, 28k)

Harry never thought taking a job as Draco Malfoy's bodyguard was going to be easy. Add in a curse that makes Malfoy even more of an obnoxious git than usual, and Harry's got serious problems.

A Piercing Comfort by talithan (T, 44k)

When Harry Potter hits the lowest point of his life so far, it is not his friends who keep him honest. With Draco Malfoy's patience and guidance, Harry learns to stand on his own. The thing is, after the fact—he's no longer sure he wants to.

The Four Doors by @fluxweeed (E, 48k)

It’s been four months since Harry lost his memory. Four months of dead ends and no answers. With time running out until his memories are gone for good, Harry agrees to a course of Legilimency therapy with a renowned specialist: Mind Healer Draco Malfoy.

Meet Me at Midnight by thestarryknight (T, 57k)

Harry was beginning to wonder if he’d ever make anything again when Malfoy stormed through the door of Harry’s furniture shop. Now Harry’s got an impossible Ministry commission to finish, and even less energy than ever to deal with his elusive muse. That is, until he stumbles upon the surreal and beautiful world of a mysterious fae creature…

Harry Potter and the elusive day off by pleasebekidding (E, 71k)

Auror Potter needs a fucking break. He is wiped. He is exhausted. He probably didn't intend to put himself into a magical coma but these things happen. And who cares, really? He is comfortable in a house where he has hidden away all the shit he can't deal with.

Balance, Imperfect by @bixgirl1 (E, 91k)

When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.

Any Instrument by @dictacontrion (E, 131k)

Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.

#asks #anon #drarry reclist #power imbalance

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quimichi · 1 year

Text

┗━⌜ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY⌟━┛

✎ Life with the Archons (Venti, Zhongli, Raiden, Nahida and Furina)

VENTI - Videtis illam spirare libertatis auram

.ೃ࿐ Having you by his side, sleeping all so peacefully in his arms puts him at ease. Knowing you trust him makes him feel all warm in his heart-

.ೃ࿐ It's not like he would ever hurt you, it's quite the opposite. But knowing that you are just as comfortable around him as he is with you is enough to make him fall in love with you all over again

.ೃ࿐ would he tell you this? Yeah sure! But not without a little teasing and playful nagging when he sees a flustered or touched reaction on you

.ೃ࿐ your days together are mostly spend with you both doing literally anything that come to mind

.ೃ࿐ ideas like trying out Dionas newest creation or seeing who eats the most dishes at good hunter come mostly for your lovely bard

.ೃ࿐ he just wants you both having fun! Thinking about sad things all day would only crush someone, and he would never want to see you in a pain he has experienced

.ೃ࿐ I think everyone said it at least once, but yes he would write songs about you. Stories of you and your great adventures, how strong, generous and kind you are.

.ೃ࿐ and how kind you are always picking him up from angel's share when he lost both track of time and amounts of liquor he already drank

.ೃ࿐ he does feel guilty tho, but you know he is sorry and it's not like it happens so often. Just when it does, it reaaally does. But everybody got their flaws right?

.ೃ࿐ not you tho, not his beautiful Windblume (basic ik but as a German its so cute to me :))

.ೃ࿐ once he tried cooking your favorite dish. You were busy all day with missions form the adventurers guild and came back all exhausted and hungry....and to Venti desperately trying to put out the little fire that he started with his vision....the fire only got bigger

.ೃ࿐he claimed it was still edible. He's not wrong it was, just not tasty at all. Not him being banned from the kitchen now, nahhh

.ೃ࿐ he was super sad tho he wanted to fo something good for you and messed it up cause he looked away for a few seconds by preparing something else

.ೃ࿐ also, one thing he definitely loves and can't be without, besides you, is having you present beside him when he sleeps.

.ೃ࿐ you are there, and save, I his touch so he knows you won't be gone

ZHONGLI - if fairness is lost, then the contract shall become proof of one's deception

☄. *. ⋆ wakes up at the ass crack of morning, makes himself a tea and watches the sunset paint you like a deity sleeping in bed while sitting down on some chair to appear even more like a love sick grandpa

☄. *. ⋆ and if you do feel eyes on you, he greets you with a deep "Good morning my beloved, I hope this night gave you the best rest" and then let's you wake up slowly while he also makes you a tea, or coffee what you prefer

☄. *. ⋆ he'll always question himself, does he even deserve you? Yeah, yeah he does obviously but...why does it always feel so surreal having your pure soul around him????

☄. *. ⋆ hes in love let him be, I really like to think of him in a relationship as this really gentle,like and caring "grandpa" who's stuck in time. Like a guy you'd see in a historical romance book

☄. *. ⋆ going out with him is....something. he either fully forgot his wallet or is just a few mora to short for the groceries. But that's not everyday tho it happens here and there, the people are also used ro it like no one is surprised-

☄. *. ⋆ he just makes a contract with them that he will bring the rest money tomorrow and boom, done everyone happy---he is a man of his words

☄. *. ⋆ looooves walks with you, either hold his hand, the hand that is ready to do everything for you. Or link arms together like whatever you like baby ❤️

☄. *. ⋆ when you agreed to be in a relationship with him he promised you to take best care of you and that there shall be no worry left in your head

☄. *. ⋆ he does hold this promise (with maybe a teeny tiny contract, maybeee) and that also includes dinner. He knew you'd be home on a short while and completely forgot to prepare anything to eat, neither did you think about getting food home either

☄. *. ⋆ then Zhongli made a mistake of agreeing that Hu Tao helps him get some food on the table. And food on the table there was cause she did something. What it exactly is, nobody knows, how she exactly did that, a mystery. But it was good, and it made Zhongli realize how much of a good friend he had awwwww

☄. *. ⋆ a little friendship appreciation cause it's cute---

☄. *. ⋆ oh and grandpa goes to sleep exactly at 9, maybe at 10. On his rebellious days it can be at 11. Like on date nights he just says, eh fuck it I spend more time with my beloved, and goes to bed when you do. And also loves to do your night routine like you, skin care or not, he does it. To feel both closer and more connected with you and make you realize you mean a lot to him

☄. *. ⋆ being open to your things is a way of him telling you, hey, you're great yk that? His love language is acts of service cause, jsnwkajqks

RAIDEN - This body's purpose is to withstand wear and tear, that the one within might achieve Eternity

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ she would eat cake for breakfast if you would let her. Sweet things make her happy, youre sweet, you make her happy

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ "I love you...Y/N, for eternity" - 😐

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ give her time to show emotions, she can do that much better with words and actions

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ wake you up like a mom tho, like you both sleep together and suddenly she rips open the curtains and is like "Rise and shine" at 7am summertime where the sun is exactly where you dont want it to be

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ pls don't let go over her hand. In public she'll always have a hand on you, she's scared you'll leave if she doesn't. But she slowly but surely realizes that you won't, you would never

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ like, imagine you see this cute ass cat or dog and you smile so bright and she's giving this bombastic side eye bitch look. Goals I'd want that

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ yes but in reality she'd want to pet it. Pls keep asking for you both to adopt a pet so she doesn't has to ask-

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ yeah uh you cook, or you both cause her alone is a much known disaster. But she is ready to learn and is ready for the baby steps. She really does listen and learns fast. Her cooking now is simple, but edible and improves with every new try

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ thanks to your help obviously. And if you're just as bad, don't worry. She's happy you both can learn something and spend more time together. She really does enjoy your company, it keeps her at ease and let's her have a clear mind. You most definitely are her comfort character haha

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ but she's not only the love of mine and your life, she's also super protective of you. Getting fo a point where not even the waiter is allowed to speak the most necessary words to you. She is an Archon and should obviously be respected, like anyone else, but also you as her partner should also receive the same respect

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ falling asleep with you is easy, falling asleep without you difficult. You both need each other, but as stubborn you both are, you are the only one who can admit it truly. She also lets it slip but not in a "I can't sleep without you" more in a "Where in a relationship aren't we, so we should sleep beside each other" looking for excuses. She's my everything pls

NAHIDA - I might look like a child, but don't be fooled: I understand this world much better than any grown-up. (PLATONIC)

༊*·˚ she's the best to live with. She'll wake you up with her gentle words and quietly opens the window so a breeze can go inside and wake you up even softer

༊*·˚ sometimes she'll join you in bed when the time allows it she listens to you talk about your dreams and how you slept at night

༊*·˚ she makes sure you know that's she cares about you like duh you're friends

༊*·˚ breakfast is the absolute healthiest of them all, you have such a variety of fruits and vegetables to pick from, different kinds of bread and toppings. And a good smoothie, or maybe you want some tea?

༊*·˚ you both always eat together, she loves spending time with you. Especially the relaxing ones. But also, one of her favorites is going out with you helping the people. She has a very good understanding of humans and their emotions after all, and since shes so caring she loves to help around

༊*·˚ if you're not busy you're always free to join her

༊*·˚ loves to see you smile and be happy. She did live for 500 years but compared to the others its almost nothing, so you are her first true friend and she is greatful you let her discover friendship with you

༊*·˚ since shes super smart she teaches you a few things and is happy when you remember some of the things she said

༊*·˚ before you both call it a day she loves to sit in her swing, or you sit in her swing and you both gentle push each other while watching the stars

༊*·˚ sometimes you both even sleep together, cuddled up while reading together till one falls asleep first and puts the book away. Or you both simply talk about your day, your little adventures and what you both discovered

༊*·˚ she is all in all the most chilled person to be with like, pls----

FURINA - Her eyes... they're like the darkness at the bottom of the ocean

*ೃ༄ being with the hydro Archon is definitely...something?

*ೃ༄ she's super clingy in the morning, both wanting so spend all day together outside or in bed. It's hard decision for her...you do it pls

*ೃ༄ your at almost EVERY trail, sitting beside her. And honestly, with just your presence it's not boring anymore, or almost. She truly is less lonely with you around and feels more alive

*ೃ༄ it makes her all giddy inside and proud having you as hers. And because of this she will always gift you the most beautiful things! It's always something new everyday. Waking up and knowing at some time of the day she will surprise you with something new and exciting is worth going out of bed

*ೃ༄ you both also always eat out together, it's rare anyone of you cooks and eats at home. She'll always drag you to the fanciest restaurants to eat in pure elegance and flamboyance (Tengen that you?)

*ೃ༄ btw hugs make her feel better :)

*ೃ༄ if she ever notices you not paying attention, she'll lightly splash your face "Hehe, now you're awake again, so where we're we.."

*ೃ༄ I said she's clingy in the morning, but at night she holds her distance, till you both sleep and she unconsciously scoots closer till she cuddles you. Throughout the day she holds distance but somehow can appear clingy but not? She's a mystery, but she's your mystery

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin venti #venti x reader #genshin zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin raiden #raiden x reader #genshin nahida #nahida x reader #furina x reader #genshin furina

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 9 months

Text

Pretty like the sun

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n the follow up chapter AND This is pretty like the wind series spin offs. This can be read as standalone all you need to know is that Azriel has two adoptive kids with OC - Zofie and Axel. Future stories related to them might include stories specifically decided to Azriel hence why I am taging it as Azriel story too. Don't come at me please. ✨

warning: none? A bit of fighting, blood.

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Zofie's pov:

She had been beaming all morning. Not only had it been the best sleep of her life, but there was something so surreal about waking up in the arms of a man you had the biggest crush on. There was a moment when Zofie was sure that it was her sleepy brain playing a trick on her. That Nyx wasn't there with her. They weren't actually in the same situation. Limbs tangled. But Nyx's arms, which had quite a firm hold on her hips, felt all too real. His breathing did, too. So did his messy hair and slightly pouty lips.

How did one look so adorable in their sleep? Mother, he would be a frowning mess if she called him cute. But he was, and Zofie had to try really hard to suppress the giddy excitement that bubbled in her chest. Nuzzling back into the crook of Nyx's neck, she breathed in his scent. Feeling her body melt into it. Oh, how she missed him when he was away. How oddly lonely she felt. Truth be told, Zofie didn't have many friends. A couple of younger priestesses that Gwyn was teaching, yes, but they practically never talked. So... not friends. But Nyx had always been so keen on getting her attention. She was weary of him at first. He was the most talkative kid she had ever seen. But then Zofie only had a handful of traumatized sanctuary toddlers to compare him to. His bubbly side chipped away with the years, though. More often than not, the smile that was plastered on Nyx's face was nowhere near the smile he used to give her when they were younger.

"You're the cuddliest person I've come across in my entire life," Nyx grumbled, opening one eye to look at her. "So, if I pulled away now..." Zofie muttered, but Nyx's grip on her tightened immediately, "Don't you even think about it?" His morning voice was raspy and, oh, so delicious. "Got you," Zofie breathed out, shaking her head. He never denied her touch. She could watch him roll his eyes at Feyre kissing his cheek, but the next minute he would be right next to Zofie, his fingers subtly reaching for her as their palms brushed against one another.

"Do you think if I don't open my eyes, we can pretend that we don't have to go back?" Nyx muttered, and Zofie could sense the dread in his tone. "Your mom probably misses you a lot," she said softly. "Cause Ma always cries when Axel comes home, so I'm sure the high lady would..." "Don't." Nyx's whole body stiffened. Zofie frowned as specks of red fell onto the sheets. He was mad. Or frustrated, at least. "Did something happen?" Her voice grew weary, and Nyx's face grew ashamed. Hands pulling the girl back to his chest, "Promise it's nothing; I'm sorry, just tired," he breathed out. She didn't say anything after that. Letting the silence stretch over them both.

"My... The high lords are hosting a ball", and Nyx sounded as if this was the most dreadful thing he had to make himself think about once again. Zofie quickly cut in, "You don't want to go?". Nyx huffed, "Something like that." She never really understood if the high lords of the night court enjoyed the festivities themselves. Rhys, Nyx's dad, was a charmer, always quick to tell a joke. His grin never failed at balls and parties. But Zofie had caught him once. Head in hands. Messy hair. Wrinkled shirt. It was such a difference compared to that beaming smile she had seen on her high lord's face only moments ago. "Well, Axel and I will probably be there if our parents are going," Zofie breathed out, hoping to ease some of the tension, but Nyx simply shook his head. "I have a feeling it's the lordship shit," the heir growled before explaining even further, "Preppy parents in desperate need to marry off their children to form bonds between courts."

And here it was. This was the thing Nyx hated with a burning passion. All he wanted was to be normal. A young man still so full of life not some crystal gem for everyone to drool over. He cringed and frowned at all the titles people threw his way. And Zofie... Zofie hated every single female who felt entitled to come and touch him, pull at his hands, and rub at him like cats in heat. "Oh, Nyx," she breathed, her fingers carefully brushing through his hair. His fingers grazed her wrist tenderly. "Everyone is making such a big fuss over it too," he admitted as Zofie nodded in agreement. No wonder he was stressed. Especially if he was also to be left alone. Only with nobility to keep him company all night long.

"Bitch your way through it," Zofie muttered, and Nyx let out the most genuine chuckles she had heard in a while. But it had also died down as quickly as it started, "Will you tell me why you were by the river last night?" Zofie knew this was coming. Nyx had a hard time letting go of the topics he wanted to discuss. And he had been more than clear that he was going to get the answer out of her about this. So fighting this...

"I have a sister," Zofie breathed, her eyes falling to the crisp white sheets on the bed. Nyx shifted slightly, his hand dipping beneath the blanket to run soothingly up her thigh, "I hear a sad note in that," he muttered. And Zofie hated that. She hated that she was still upset over something she genuinely wanted. She didn't care much about having to share her parents' attention for a while. It was everything else that ticked her off. "She's perfect", Zofie let out a deep sigh, "Has wings, no flaws. She's perfectly Azriel's". Her voice died down, overpowered by the growl Nyx had let out. "Has that asshole?", "No, no, I just... it's me," Zofie shook her head, "I felt... irrelevant.".

The room fell silent. She watched as Nyx blinked a couple of times, letting her words sink in, "Don't you talk shit like that about yourself?" His voice had an edge to it. A powerful force. "But it's true; I'm Illyrian but have no wings," Zofie muttered, turning to play with her fingers instead. Admitting her fears and insecurities felt humiliating almost. "I'll always be your wings," Nyx's much bigger palm cupped hers, giving it a little squeeze. "What have I done to deserve you, huh?" Zofie chuckled slightly, hoping to mask the sting in her eyes. Nyx crooked his head to the side. Watching her for a moment, "You didn't have to do anything. I'm the one who's lucky that you were born.".

Nyx's pov:

They had laughed through the whole flight back to the city. And the closer they got, the more Nyx dreaded it. He didn't care much about the shit he was going to get from Rhys. But it's the letting go part that pressed against his chest. He knew, for a fact, that if not tonight, then by the next morning they would be ushered back into the camps up the mountain. Yes, he was happy to learn and to earn a rank, but leaving her here felt like a dreadful task. Not to mention that they weren't allowed to write letters while they were up there. Not to mention that Nyx had a whole box of letters he had written for Zofie. Ones he had written while up there. Ones that no one would ever see.

Zofie had asked him to drop her off at the edge of the forest near the house. "Better if you don't just walk in. You know my dad," she said. However, Nyx felt it the minute Zofie's legs hit the snow beneath her. He had barely let go of her when the claws of darkness pulled him back, nearly sending him to his feet. But he expected this. Escaping the spymaster under the protection of his father's wards was one thing. The moment they were on the perimeter of Velaris, well, let's say that was Azriel's hunting territory. And that male always hunted as if he were starving.

Nyx had seen Azriel pissed more than once, but the frown on his face this time was unmatched. And accompanied by the dark circles beneath his eyes. Yeah, he looked as if he was out for blood. "You forgot yours, young man," the spymaster said through gritted teeth as his shadows roped around the princeling's ankles and wrists.

"Dad, that's enough." Zofie stomped through the thick snow, trying to get in between the two of them. Nyx wished she wasn't there. He hated it when she was there to witness their snarls. "You lost all sense of fun, uncle," Nyx said mockingly. His own hands grew dark, seizing the spymaster's dark, as cold gloominess chased all of Azriel's shadows away. "You had no right to take her like that," Azliel bit back; his wings were arched in a warning, but Nyx didn't skip a beat, doing just the same.

"No one took me," Zofie growled with a huff. And it was the way Azriel had turned back to look down at her that broke the last sense of logic within Nyx. It was the way his big frame looked toward her when Azriel snared, "I wasn't speaking to you, young lady," that undid Nyx. "Why?", he asked bitterly, "Because you forgot that she existed? The new child has already taken too much of your time?". It felt as if the whole world had stopped. Even the snowflakes seemed to have seized in their fall. "Nyx..." he said, meeting Zofie's pleading eyes. Saw her shaking her head in disapproval. But he was truly seeing red. No one had a right to make her. Make his sunshine feel small.

"What did you just say?" Azriel frowned, slightly taken back, but his demeanor was still predatory. The princeling only growled back at the shadowsinger. "Nyx for fuck sake," Zofie pleaded, panic raising to her features as she moved closer to her dad in hopes of putting distance between them. But it was for nothing when Nyx muttered, "You heard me loud and clear, spymaster." Nyx managed to spare Zofie one look. One look before his vision was interrupted by black dots as his head was wiped to the side from the impact. Zofie's shriek pierced the silence, rippling over every surface.

Nyx knew that, in a way, he deserved it, so it didn't surprise him. He had been messing with the habitat of fae males. One who had just become a father. One who's instinct to protect was on such high alert. But he had to. Had to stand up for her. "Papa, please," Zofie pleaded. Nyx wiped the warm liquid trickling down the side of his lip. Oh, he was not going to go down without a fight. "Please, let's just go home. Please, I'm sorry". Her tiny hands were grasping at Azriel's hands, trying to pull him back. "Don't you apologize for him," Nyx snarled, but Zofie's firey eyes met his as she muttered, "Shut up." Only now did Nyx notice the tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. Only now did he see the quiver in her chin.

"Zof," Nyx breathed out, but the girl had simply turned her back on him. "Come on, papa, please," she pleaded once more, and this time it was enough to get Azriel's attention. His chest was still heavy as he breathed through his anger. "If I ever catch you doing anything like this," Azriel snarled, stepping forward to look at Nyx, but Zofie pushed back, putting all of her weight against her dad. "Consider yourself fucking lucky." Azriel flapped his wings a couple of times before reaching for Zofie's hand, tugging her alongside him as the shadows swallowed them both.

Your pov:

Quite frankly, you knew something was wrong from the moment you looked up to see Zofie's pale face when Novie was born. And deep down, you knew that this insecurity that was quite clearly blooming right in front of you was inevitable. You just didn't know it would take a turn like that. Zofie had always been good about voicing her discomfort, and you had always encouraged her to speak her mind, but it seemed as if your love had been lost in the shuffle of it all.

You knocked on her bedroom door gently. It's been a couple of hours since she and Azriel got back home. Your mate, mostly thanks to his lack of sleep, assumed that you both hadn't noticed your girl not being home and, and then hadn't felt them coming home. It was the stench of anger that was dripping from Azriel that was enough to let you know that a fight must have happened. And this sort of frustration as of lately was only brought on by one person.

Without getting an answer, you just let yourself in after a while. Zofie was curled up in a ball, and the blanket Azriel had knitted for her was tightly wrapped around her. That fact must have slipped her mind, considering the fight the two have been in. Sitting down on the very edge, you let your fingers gently brush through Zofie's dark waves.

"Sweetness, why don't you eat up? It's lunchtime", you said gently, nodding towards the plate of warm food you had brought up for her. She simply shook her head, turning away from your touch. A sharp ache pierced your heart. If your children were hurting, so were you. You climbed into the bed, nudging her slightly as you moved to wrap your arms around the girl. Let her be the little spoon.

Zofie laid as still as a statue for a moment before her arms snaked around yours. "Now he will never love me again," Zofie's voice was barely a whisper, but you still managed to hear her perfectly well. "Who, baby?" you asked, running your fingers up and down her arm. She stilled for a moment before looking up to catch your gaze and saying, "Papa." A breath hitched in your throat. "Lovie," you muttered.

Zofie quickly shuffled, sitting up. "First, I don't have wings; now he thinks I'm sneaking behind his back with Nyx," she blurted out in a rush, "And I'm not, I promise." She caught your arm, shaking it slightly. You cupped her face softly and said, "There is nothing wrong with you falling in love." Her face scrunched up so hard that you almost had to laugh. "I'm not in love. I'm not", she stated. "Okay, okay," you muttered, tapping her cheek playfully.

"And Azriel loves you, Zo." Your tone was much firmer now. You understood the fears. Mother, even you still had them. Wondering why? Why had Azriel chosen you, and what did he see in you? So for a teenager to have emotions like that, "He had loved you from the moment he saw you," you added.

Zofie bit her lip as if contemplating her next words for a moment, "But his yellow is fading", she admitted. Her colors. She found comfort in them, but good things usually come with baggage. Understanding the amount of emotion there was still a hard task. "That doesn't mean he stopped loving you. Maybe the color is evolving. Shifting into something different", you said softly. You made a mental note to ask her tutor to find her a book about the colors of emotions to read. Well, one that she hadn't already devoured.

"Hate," those silent words, made your mind halt. You shook your head. "Love has different forms; you'll learn that along the way," You reached up to carefully take her necklace between your fingers. "Papa is on edge right now because a lot of things are changing. He's sensitive because he's lost so much already. Losing all of us would break him without repair." It felt like a lot to unload on her, but she had to see that Azriel's love hadn't just faltered or disappeared because of Novie. Thinking like wings, no wings, scars on no, even the blood bond didn't matter to Azriel. Zofie pinched her eyebrows. "Is he home?", she breathed, "I need to...", "He's out on his broody walk, but I'm sure he'll be back soon," you said softly, reaching for the plate and handing it to her. She was desperate to make sure that she had at least some food in her stomach.

Nyx pov:

He had lost track of how long he had been flying. Nor did he know where he was going, but regardless of his endless attempts to escape it, Nyx knew that he would have to go home eventually. A part of him hoped that Rhys wouldn't have been able to sniff this one out, but then Nyx had lost track of his uncle fairly early on. So Azriel could have already been stomping his foot in his father's office.

"Purple truly suits you." As if on cue, Rhys's voice rang out. He was seated in front of a fireplace. A drink in hand. His usual black button-up shirt hugged his skin. Nyx didn't hate his father. He hated the high-lord aspect of him. Yes, he was different from most. Mother, spare anyone from a father like Beron, but... he still valued his position a bit too much at times. Nyx simply shook his head, shifting to move toward the back patio, but his father's voice stopped him, "I don't remember letting you walk away.".

Nyx let out a bitter chuckle, "Oh, so now I am to obey you too, like a servant?" It was bitter; he knew it. But Nyx just wasn't in the mood—wasn't in the mood to deal with any of this right now. "You're my son," Rhys stated firmly, his purple eyes gleaming. "Doesn't that just suit your story?" Nyx barked back, matching his father's glare. "Nyx," Rhys said in a warning tone, but the princeling was already walking. "I'll be with Mom," he breathed over his shoulder.

The wind that hit his face as he stepped outside soothed his heated cheeks. He always loved the walk towards his mother's gallery. It had always been his favorite time of the day when the two of them would go there. Gods, did he need to clear his head. Anything. Everything. All he could think of was her. Yet... two hands clasped his shoulders, making Nyx quickly spin back, putting whoever was behind him in a chokehold.

"Well, dang, you're on edge, my man," a familiar voice rasped out, and Nyx instantly let go, pushing the figure forward. "What the hell are you doing here?", he whispered. Axel simply smirked before shrugging, even if his eyes lingered on the library door for a bit too long. "I came to see how my dad painted your face," Axel chuckled, "Pretty." Nyx simply flipped his friends off and said, "Fuck off." Yet the corners of his lips did twitch slightly. Axel always had that effect on him. It was hard to not smile around him.

"She's okay," Axel muttered, making Nyx's eyes snap up at him. Yet he refused to give in to it. "I don't care," he said simply. Axel raised one eyebrow at his friend, tilting his head to the side, and, "Right, so you wouldn't care if I told you that mom got her to eat, and she's much calmer now." Nyx's shoulders eased a bit. Eased almost immediately. A calmness like no other washed over him as he nodded in agreement.

"She asked about you." Now these words struck a chord with Nyx, and his big eyes were instantly searching for Axel. "Did she?", Nyx breathed out desperately. Axel simply chuckled, slowly shaking his head, "No, but I love proving a point." Nyx let out a growl, "I'm so kicking your ass on the sparring mat." But he couldn't help but smile now. Because Axel knew him. And in a way, this was his silent way of approving. Or at least not stepping between him and Zofie.

But Axel's eyes lingered behind his friend, and Nyx's eyes instantly followed suit. Only he caught sight of white robes slipping back inside the library. Nyx instantly turned back to face Axel. "What was that?", he questioned. Axel blinked a couple of times, "What was what?". Oh, but Nyx wasn't stupid. "That look," he muttered, motioning his hand towards Axel's face, "Are you fucking a prestress?" Axel frowned at the question instantly, his eyes finally moving to gaze at his friend, "What the hell, man, wash your mouth." Nyx chuckled slightly, but he knew deep down that the moment they were going to be better on the camp walls, he was going to get his answers one by one. Now all he needed was his sun. His Sunny and for some reason risking a black eye didn't seem that big of a sacrifice.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Taglist: @sirenpearldust @historygeekqueen @hnyclover @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @naturakaashi @stressed-reader @woodland-mist @goldenmagnolias @nocasdatsgay

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jmdbjk · 1 month

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All things Walmart, poo, ticks and inspiration...

Spoiler alert but to hell with it, I know y'all have watched it all already.

Things I cannot relate to and will never happen to me:

• Pushing my cart down the snack aisle at Walmart and running into Jungkook searching for Tostitos and a sponge.

• Going out to the mailbox to gather the day's junk mail and two guys on a Harley drive by and wave at me and me not know it was Jimin and Jungkook.

• Hiking through the forest and not realizing that guy way up ahead swatting at mosquitoes is Jimin.

• Enjoying my lobster mac & cheese at a restaurant and not know Jungkook is discreetly (not so discreetly) staring at my food trying to decide if he wants to order what I'm having.

I didn't have time today to spend on this like I wanted to and I feel like everyone has already talked about the finer points they're most interested in so I'm going to just drop a few things that made ME laugh, smile and cherish the fact they even started this thing, this show. Episode 3 will be here tomorrow night (for me) so I don't want to delay this anymore so I'll be brief for Ep. 2.

Saturday, July 15:

They left the campsite and Jungkook got to ride the motorcycle. Jimin said he looked like a proper American.

They stopped at a park and hiked a trail. Jimin fought mosquitoes. It was brutal. I've seen people worried about ticks. And snakes. Jimin pointed out a spider on a tree. Jungkook fantasized about alligators. Tick inspections occurred all around later on I hope.

We didn't see the transition from woods to marina. Maybe they had to make a bathroom stop for Jimin. Or urgent care to get him some meds. Who knows. Poor thing was suffering.

On the yacht, Jimin was still feeling puny but he tried. He ate though he knew he was risking it all.

He horsed around with Jungkook with the beast still rolling around in his guts.

I really wasn't expecting so much poop talk during Are You Sure but here we are.

I think this summed up the yacht trip. Especially after how it all started with the excursion being leaked by the boat captain himself. Perhaps the editors did this on purpose.

FYI those concentric ripples in the images are my camera trying to capture the screen in a different frequency than the monitor refreshes or some tech mumbo jumbo. Apologies and please ignore. It's Disney's fault for not letting us screen cap using an app.

I think Jungkook was looking for ticks. He would take something like that seriously, don't you think?

But Jimin mostly slept on the yacht. He had a rough night before. They still salvaged what they could and they still seemed to enjoy the experience.

A trip to Walmart. On the way they have one of those rambling conversations where Jungkook, who is not the most talkative type, decides to talk Jimin's ear off. They talked about making music and what drives them personally in their choices about their work.

We'll visit that thought again in a minute....

The whole Walmart visit is surreal to me. I go to Walmart at least once a week so to see Jimin and Jungkook browsing the aisles just blows my mind. NEVER did I EVER dream I'd see them looking for bacon at WALMART.

They look just like anyone else pushing their shopping cart going down the cereal aisle past the boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Sugar Pops.

Jimin was a tad testy when JK disappeared. He even cussed him out. HAHAHAHAHAAA. BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!

I know Jimin-ssi, why are men like that? I swear to god...

I saw someone say this sums up their dynamic perfectly: Jimin calculating in his mind how to work the self-check out while Jungkook does the helicopter cam above him.

You gotta give it to Walmart though, they do know their customer. The self check out is pretty self-explanatory.

The content of their cart:

TWO boxes of Twinkies???? And both Prego AND Ragu...

Getting to the AirBnb accommodations. Cooking. Chilling out before bedtime and Jimin lets Jungkook hear Who.

Horsing around in bed. You know, all these years, I've wondered how they keep the toothpaste spit inside their mouths while brushing their teeth? We've seen them brushing their teeth backstage, in the bathroom, walking around the green room, outside practicing choreo... HOW DO THEY NOT DROOL ALL OVER THEIR CUSTOM MADE OUTFITS? And now wrestling on the bed...

Waking up, JK and his frosted flakes. Jokes about abandoning Jimin...more horsing around on the bed. And then they doze off again. I know they did. Hard to tell but Jungkook is glued to Jimin's back.

Jimin gets to ride on the back of the Harley with JK. It starts to rain. I guess they were bringing it back to the rental place.

Going back to the store for a sponge.

I think Jimin was feeling much better. Looked like he slept better.

We see the Army who said they met Jimin and Jungkook last year. When I first heard about it I thought how lucky and random and what kind of stars need to align for that to happen??? What a great experience!!! When will it be our turn???

And then the next idea for Run BTS (the show)... hide and seek while shopping for specific ingredients to cook with and the twist is they're in a foreign country. WORLD TOUR RUN BTS!!! BIGHIT I HAVE IDEAS!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!

Its raining, dancing in the rain as they exit the store. They leave in the Jeep and head back to the house to eat their pizza.

Army in Connecticut won in life.

Then they start their journey back to NYC (I'm assuming) so Jungkook can go on to London and Jimin can head back to Korea. They stop one more time for lobster rolls and lobster mac & cheese.

That's when we see Jungkook contradict himself...

In the Jeep just a little while ago you said nothing inspired you. Was it the rain or the beer that was inspiring you? Or was it the head full of new memories and ideas about the next trip that were swirling around in there?

By the end of this trip, they are back in sync.

Their closing interview: JK wants to keep doing this until they're 50, 12 more seasons! JK said "practice being better variety show entertainers so the two of us can continue doing this" as motivation to continue doing this type of thing way into the future. Jimin found humor in that. And that's where we fade to black.

And during the credits, Jimin is eating again, spicy ramen, possibly the next day. Apparently his stomach is back in order as he readies to fly back home.

What a trip.

Deeper thoughts:

Jimin and Jungkook wanted to spend time together. We knew that. It didn't seem to happen when it could have. They even said so in the Jeep. But JK concluded the discussion succinctly:

Finally.

Finally they were spending quality time together. Though their talk was brief, we have no idea if there was more to it before or after what we saw of it. The editors showed us that much enough to explain the situation and why it had not happened. The end result of it all was: finally.

Finally, after wanting this. Finally, after saying we would. Finally... doing something together that we loved doing before and we've wanted to do again. Finally.

Jimin pushed for it. He knew. He made it happen. Finally.

They are two distinct personalities and their journeys through this solo era leading up to their enlistment were different.

Jimin is a leader and doer. He is the initiator. Jimin said if he hadn't pushed for this show to happen it would not have gotten done.

There were a few moments in these first two episodes where Jimin brought up MS. Jungkook didn't seem thrilled to talk about it.

They truly didn't know what they were going to film for this show. They got in the car and started to make it up as they went. I can see how that would be awkward.

They don't understand that just them being themselves is what we want to see. They don't have to try to make something happen. Its the spontaneous moments that make the best content (see kayak dump and Walmart trip). Maybe Jimin was more in tune with this than Jungkook was but he is the one who turns on a live and sits there and watches Netflix while eating chicken. They had to get back in sync and they did.

So the first episode was a little slow, a little cautious, a little quiet. Reserved. That first day they were finding their groove, getting 're-acquainted' if you will, finding the slots and spaces in each other that fit and feel the most comfortable to them. You could see them relax as the day wore on.

But, they still had challenges. JK's head cold. Jimin's stomach bug. You want some TMI's? Watch Jimin run to the bathroom for the fifth time.

We may see a little bit of this quiet re-acquainting when BTS does its first group live next year. And yes, I am 100% confident we will see this first live shortly after Jimin and Jungkook are discharged. We will see them in a way we've never seen before.

After both episodes... my conclusion is we saw about 2 hours out of the roughly 3 or three and a half days Jimin and Jungkook were together. Thursday evening, July 13 through Sunday evening, July 16. I'm not exactly sure when JK left for London but Jimin went back to Korea on July 17.

I wonder if the plan was to create hour long episodes or if there was so much they wanted to show the episodes just ended up being that long. They could have easily hidden Jimin's stomach issues from us. They could have edited a lot of it down. But in making the episodes this long, they showed more and more of their dynamic in play.

I didn't put everything into this post that I wanted to but we've got six more episodes coming and I still haven't had time to watch Run Jin.

Hashtags arent working... I'll add them later.

#hashtags are back i think #jimin #jungkook #jikook #kookmin #are you sure?#so much poo tmi i wasn't prepared #but its all in there for a reason #walmart is now a jikook pilgrimage place #that statement is crazy

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keyotos · 1 year

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to sit in hell with you

summary ⎯ based on the the louvre by lorde. you and dan heng have been through rough times alone. why shouldn't you go through these times together?

tags ⎯ post dragon transformation. unestablished relationship (bc yes). friends to lovers (yes). pining (this is keyotos). love confession but the two idiots don't realize it.

tana's words ⎯ read the hsr leaks and dan heng's past destroyed me but it's so interesting at the same time?? i wanted to make the most angsty sad lovers to strangers fic ever but i am choosing kindness.

the chill that spread itself through the night was one of the many things that kept dan heng awake. after this particularly brutalizing mission, he had never felt more exhausted and confused.

where to go to now? what to do now? everything about his past had been a blur to him, with the exception of being a vidyadhara, of course. but now, what had happened, dan heng didn't know what to do with himself.

you took notice of this. dan heng was never really open about his past. he was very private and keen to solitude, even if you were his closest friend. but you never minded. you were more focused on the fact that he even spoke to you in the first place.

looking at dan heng now, he looks so much more different than the usual dan heng. dan heng was usually the "leader" of the group, always stepping in and taking action, always knowing what to do. but this time, dan heng looked so confused, so small.

it's a feeling that everyone knows, a feeling that everyone has experienced once in their life. but seeing it on dan heng looked so surreal. it was uncanny, to say the least.

it was a sorrowful sight; your closest friend going from tenacious to disoriented. you'd do anything to make him feel at least a little bit better.

"hey," you walked towards him, "how are you doing?" a stupid question, you realize. obviously, he is not doing well. you've made note of this in your head already.

"fine," he lies. dan heng doesn't know that you have caught onto the signals he produces every time he lies. he avoids eye contact, instead he looks down to the ground. he talks lesser than he usually does. and, this only happens when he's lying to you, the tips of his ears turn a slight crimson color.

"really?" you raise an eyebrow, indicating that you know he's lying.

dan heng sighs, still not facing towards you. "i'm a little shocked. but i'm fine."

"is it because of the..." you paused forming horns on top of your head, "and your..." you continued to gesture things, now trying to illustrate his long hair.

dan heng laughed and your heart warmed. at least he was laughing. "yeah. but i'm still pondering on where i go now," he crossed his arms. "with learning all of this, i don't know where to go."

you didn't say anything. if dan heng was trying to imply that he wanted to leave the express, you needed to push down the urge to grab onto him and ask him to stay.

dan heng didn't want to leave the express. he didn't want to leave for a few reasons: the nameless, learning about the stellaron inside stelle's body, and you. they were all important reasons, but to dan heng, you were reason enough to stay.

however, all good things must come to an end sometimes. after learning more about his past life, he couldn't risk hurting the express, especially hurting you out of all people. the thought of you even being in the slightest pain because of him made dan heng weak; you were too big of a risk to lose.

it was silent between the two of you. dan heng was looking to the ground while you were looking at him. you were admiring him, to say the least. he definitely looked different, but it was a good different. he looked luminescent, like he was glowing in the night sky. his horns shone brightly; the moon paled in comparison to his looks right now.

you hadn't registered how long you had been staring at him, because now dan heng removed his attention from the ground and placed it on you. when your eyes locked in a tight embrace, you briskly turned your head around to try to dismiss the fact that you were staring at dan heng.

dan heng frowned, "do i look weird?" he moved away from you.

your head jolted back as quickly as it jolted away, "what? no!" you exclaimed, moving closer. it was like wherever he went, you had to follow.

"you always look good," you blurted. realizing what you had just said, you quickly clamped your hand over your mouth. but clamping your hand over your mouth looked wrong, so you uncovered your mouth and buried your head in your hands. dan heng thought the sight was amusing, leaning closer to you now.

"that's not what i meant," you tried to save, "i mean⎯ it is. wait⎯ that came out wrong," you sighed, "it all came out wrong. well⎯ i mean⎯fuck!" was the final word that came out. how could you get so tongue⎯tied around him?

dan heng laughed, "thank you," he slightly smiled, trying to hide the red tint throughout his ear. one thing you didn't know about dan heng was when he was embarrassed, his entire ear would turn read.

"you could never look bad," you finally got out, "trust me." your sweet nothings just made dan heng turn redder. you were his closest friend, the person that knew him best. why is he getting so flustered at kind words?

"if you think you look awful, just try to think back to that one time i tried to give myself layers on the express," you shook your head. "that was weird."

you were still beautiful in my eyes, dan heng thought. you still are beautiful, he noticed as he watched you speak.

you thought back to all your memories with dan heng on the express. the nights where you laid on the ground, discussing various plots of your worst books. you loved complaining to dan heng, because even when you spout out nonsense he would still listen.

late night snacks in the kitchen with dan heng always made your night. you two would make a mess together, and surprisingly cleaning it up was more fun than making the actual mess.

and when you stayed the night in his room? when you woke up and were wrapped in blankets whilst still being on top of the ground. when you saw dan heng laying next to you with no blankets at all. when you pulled dan heng closer, feeling your skin buzz at his touch, and falling back asleep.

"dan heng," you faced him, "if what you were implying before⎯ if you really are going to leave the astral express, i must be truthful with you," you gulped. you weren't ready for this. but he needed to know.

"i don't want you to leave," you spoke to fast that the words jumbled together. catching your breath, you repeat yourself so that you sound more clear, "i don't want you to leave the astral express."

you breath again, this time more shakily, "i can't imagine it without you. i want you to stay⎯" stay with me, you wanted to say, "i want you to stay with us," you alternatively say.

your words said that you wanted dan heng to stay with everyone, but your eyes were telling differently. where you thought you knew dan heng better than he knew himself, dan heng knew deep in his bones that he knows you better than anyone else.

your eyes tell a story of longing. your eyes are squinting with desperation, begging him to stay with you. you're looking at him like you need him to breath, whether you know it or not.

dan heng is familiar with that look, as he expresses the same one when he sees you. not that he knows, though.

the rise and fall of your chest quickens, "i know this is selfish of me, but i really cannot imagine life without you sometimes," your mind takes over. you originally meant to say that you couldn't imagine life on the express without him. but subconsciously, you knew you meant this.

you hesitate to say the next part of your parting, as you're afraid it might become true, "however, if you do want to leave, i won't stop you. i'll let you go, no hard feelings like you know who," you joke. you're trying to ignore the feelings that will occur when you do lose him. it's not working, your heart feels like it's gonna shatter.

"whatever happens next, just know i'll always wish you the best," you clasp your hands together. you didn't even realize how sweaty they've gotten after the entire conversation.

as you reach down to wipe the sweat off your hands, dan heng takes the opportunity to grab you by your wrist and pull you into a tight embrace. he holds you so gently; his hold on you is soft and vulnerable. but it is also unyielding, as if he is guarding you from the heavens and above. he's holding onto you for dear life, making sure nothing would ever get to him.

at first, you thought this was a sign he was leaving. he was giving you one last hug before he left. dan heng was never really affectionate, so this must be why he is giving you such a sensual embrace.

you were internally panicking until you felt dan heng bury his head in your hair. he inhaled you, wanting to absorb your very being. his dragon form towered over you; he was much taller and bigger now than before. his hand delicately brushed through your hair as his grip on your body was still tight.

this is it, you thought, after this i will never see him again.

you give in to his embrace, grabbing onto his broad shoulders and squeezing him so hard that you couldn't bear to let go. if this be the last time you two see each other, you were going to make the most out of it. you were going to feel him one last time.

you two rocked back and forth for a few seconds before he let you go. you tried your best to avoid his gaze; if you took one last look at his face you may as well burst into tears.

but dan heng has a different idea. his hands cup your face, guiding it towards him. your full attention is on him now, you couldn't look away.

"if you cannot live without me, i suppose i cannot live without you either," he murmured and looked to the night. it was so quiet that you almost didn't hear it. he stroked your cheek.

"do you want me to stay with you?" not us, you. dan heng needed to know if you wanted the risks; he wouldn't dare to subject you to himself if you didn't want to get hurt.

"yes," you whispered, "stay."

"i will stay with you for as long as you want me to," he let go of your cheek and grabbed your hand, "i will stay with you until you're sick of me and you wish me to be gone. but tell me, do you really want me to stay?"

and you finally understand dan heng's repetition of the same question. he's scared of the risks: he's scared of the consequences. he doesn't want harm to come your way, as he fears you would succumb to death just as others had before.

"dan heng, i want you to stay no matter what," you hold onto his hand tighter, "i want it all. i want the risks, i want the danger, i can take it! but most of all i just want you here," you breathlessly rant, "whatever danger comes to us, i promise you we'll get through it together. no more isolation, because if you stay with me, i'll be by your side for anything."

"please," you tug onto his hand, "i want you to stay."

dan heng drinks your words up as if he was a knight dying of thirst. he soaks up every word like it would be the last thing he would ever hear. all that matters now is that you want him to stay. and dan heng will stay. he'll stay for the nameless, the express, but mostly for you.

dan heng realizes now that there wouldn't have been any risks. because now he knows that you'd get through it together. you'd fight for him no matter what. and now, dan heng is prepared to fight for you, no matter the situation. he would be there for you the same way you were there for him. he'd make sure of it.

dan heng pulls you into another embrace. this time, it's less desperate. it's loving, sincere, and relaxing; this would not be the last hug.

"then i'll stay," dan heng finally breaths, "for you. i'll stay for you," he smiled into the embrace. and unbeknownst to you, dan heng also feels you smile against his chest, safe and sound.

um that last paragraph was lowk ass but its 1 in the morning and im tired and i have to go to the gym at like 9

#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr #hsr x reader #dan heng x reader #dan heng x you #dan heng #dan heng imagines #i don't know if this is LORE accurate or not i wrote this at 1 am #TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY?? LETS GO

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fairyofsilence · 1 year

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RISING STAR | 1/7 | THAT’S THE INDUSTRY, BABY SERIES |

Pairing: Producer!Namjoon x Trainee!Reader

Warnings (there's important trigger warnings mentioned, read each one of them carefully and proceed with caution): +18, Yandere, grooming, age gap (reader is 19 while Namjoon is 31), cursing, extreme abuse of power, manipulation, reader has a bad relationship with her mother, self-deprecation, reader has a low self esteem, mentions of unhealthy diets, mentions of toxic beauty standards, both explicit and non explicit sexual scenes; oral sex (m and f reciving), fingering, spanking, protected sex, sex in the work place, loss of virginity, mentions of blood, slight dubcon (she agrees to have sex after he coaxes her into it), mentions of aftercare, mentions of sex, recording of sexual acts without a partner's knowledge, blackmail, forced relationships.

Summary: It's the opportunity of a lifetime, everything you have ever wished for has been presented to you on a silver platter, becoming the next rising star of the critically acclaimed producer Kim Namjoon was a dream come true.

Too bad you are to naive to confuse a nightmare for a blessing.

I don't agree nor condone any of the actions made by any of the characters throughout the story, I also do not belive that any of the members of BTS would act this way or have this type of behaviour, this story it's fiction and it's written with the sole purpose of entertainment.

Word count: 11.3 k

This is the first of seven parts for the That's the industry, baby series, you cand find my main masterlist here. The stories can be read as one shots, the stories just take place in the same universe.

Hello again! It’s been a while, believe me I know, and I also know I’ve been announcing this fic since practically a year now but get this: I’m a depressed college student who loves to procrastinate, but I shit you not tonight I said “fuck it” and finished this enitre fic in eight hours, this is extreamly unedited and I’m posting this at 6 a.m, I’m not even sure I’ll be able to edit this until June but until then please enjoy and let me know what you think! I created this series because I’ve always been shocked at the ammount of disgusting things the entertainment industry has try to hide from the general public, and this series will tackle most of that, withouth more introductions, here’s the first of them, enjoy!

EDITED ON 05/27/2023

You haven’t moved an inch since you’ve put your eyes on the board.

You’re trembling, you can feel the air starting to leave your lungs, but you don’t seem able to take a breath because you feel like if you so much as blink, the announcement will disappear from the board, and it all just be an illusion.

But it’s not an illusion, you’re actually looking at the announcement on the board right now, the letters are big, bright, and bold, and there’s no doubt that what you’re looking at now is your name next to the word “Congratulations.”

“Congratulations Y/N Y/L/N, you won!

You’ve been chosen as Rkive records new rising star.

For more details, check the inbox on your email in which you’ve been send the instructions on what to do next.”

All sound seemed to quiet down, you couldn’t hear a single thing except a striking white noise ringing on your ears, and although you can feel some of the trainees jumping around trying to congratulate you, you can’t seem to do anything right now, your body is paralyzed, your eyes fill up with tears and you feel as if your heart had gone all the way up to your throat.

You’ve won, you’re finally going to debut, Kim Namjoon had chosen you.

It feels surreal, you’ve been waiting for this moment, four years to be exact, and it has finally going to happen, your biggest dream was just a day away from becoming true, a small laugh leaves your mouth at the thought, you’ve made it, you finally made it happen.

Reality comes back to you in the form of a hug, you realize the person who’s hugging you is Soowon, one of the newest trainees who, after you got her out of trouble with the singing coach, decided to attach herself to you and proclaim the two of you as best friends, she seems more excited than you right now, jumping around while trying to not break the hug, somehow you manage to wrap your arms around her, giving her a weird side hug, but she doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, she seems even more excited after you returned the hug.

“You did it! I know you would win” She says after hugging me a little bit tighter ��It was only a matter of time before this happened, you’ve been working so hard” You feel a tear rolling down your cheek after her words, you finally turn around to return the energy of the hug and while rubbing your back, she whispers onto your ear “I know you’ll be the biggest star of this company Y/N, I’ve known it since the day we met”

You allow yourself to feel the praise and hugs from your fellow trainees because you know that once you step a foot inside of your apartment, you know that your biggest obstacle from you reaching your dreams is waiting for you inside, so just for a few more hours, you let yourself be happy, because you know that when she finds out about the news you received today, a light argument is the best thing you can’t expect.

Your mother is already at your apartment by the time you got home, and that was the first weird thing you noticed.

The second was that she made dinner, your mother never makes dinner, she always works until late in the night and you’ve survived on rice and instant ramen because of that, but tonight she seems to gone all out, there’s even meat at the table for god sake, and that’s how you know there’s only two reasons behind this happening; she was either fired or she got a new, better paying job, and you’ll be very surprised if it ends up being the latter.

She has never been good at maintaining a job, and for someone who’s been poor her whole life, she doesn’t seem to understand that to maintain a job is to be quiet, the workers should never complain to their bosses, at least, that’s what you’ve learned during your time in the company.

She notices your presence after you stand in the entrance for a while, then again, it’s not hard to do so, your apartment is not big enough for you to go unnoticed anyway, she turns off the stove and walks up to you with a smile, greeting you excitedly.

“Hi sweetheart, sit down please, I’m just going to bring out some plates, okay?” You don’t say anything, but she doesn’t seem to mind the lack of response, turning away from you to grab two plates from the small kitchen cabinet while you set down your backpack and take a seat on the floor in front of the small table, your palms begin to sweat as you mentally prepare to tell your mother about the news, which you’re sure she won’t take kindly.

“How was your day? You usually come back earlier than this, I told you that this trainee stuff cannot interfere with school” And there she goes, you can even seat down in peace for five minutes before she starts listing all the stupid reasons why you should be a trainee, but today you won’t take any criticism from her, actually, today you’ll prove her just how wrong she’s been.

“It was great, I have good news actually” Your voice loses power for a bit, but you pull through it, your mother sits down and seems curious about the news for once.

“Yeah? What is it? You’re finally leaving that company for good? They’re the reason you got two years behind in school” Your eye twitches at her remark but you ignore her before dropping the bomb.

“No, it’s the opposite actually” Her eyebrows raise at that, and she looks at you expectantly before you say, “I’m signing my contract tomorrow, I’m going to debut soon.”

The silence that follows after your words seems to last an eternity.

Your mother puts her utensils down, she licks her lips and lets out a deep sigh after a few seconds, she doesn’t like this at all.

“I was expecting good news” Her words feel like a dagger piercing right through your heart, but you maintain your posture, you can’t let her, and her hurtful words get to you.

“This is good news mom, don’t you understand? I wasn’t sign to a small company, Bangtan signed me, Kim Namjoon chose me” Your mother makes eye contact, and it makes you falter for a second, she always knows how to bring you down when you’re finally going up.

“Who put those ideas on your head? That Kim Namjoon that you always talk about?” Before you can even talk back she cuts you off before adding “Sweetheart, I thought you were smarter than this, when man want something, they’ll say anything to get you” You hate when she does this, when she makes you feel small, making you think you’re stupid without even listening to what you have to say, you hate her.

“First of all, I’m meeting him for the first time tomorrow, so no mother, he hasn’t been putting any ideas on me, and also, why are you acting so shocked at this? I’ve been training for years, you know that it was bound to happen, I’ve been working so hard for this moment to come and the only thing you can say is something negative, can you just say ‘congratulations’ at least? This is something important to me, can you at least pretend that you’re happy for me?” Your voice breaks by the end and instead of listening to your concerns, your mother decides to do what she does best; get defensive after you call her out.

“Why do you always just assume the worst of me darling? I’m just expressing my concern as your mother, is it wrong to be worried about who my daughter is going to be spending so much time with?” Her tone just manages to push you over the edge every time, you don’t even realize you’re crying until a teardrop land on your lap, you’re quick to wipe your tears before she gets the satisfaction of knowing she can affect you so much, you make eye contact with her before responding.

“Why can you just be happy for me mom?” You’re tired of arguing, but as usual, she doesn’t notice how you feel.

"I'm just worried about you, darling. You know that the career you want is risky. What if they change their minds and leave you without warning? What if you get injured before you even have a chance to perform? And what if they decide you're not good-looking enough after a few years? Have you thought about what you'll do then?" The venomous words spill out of her mouth so effortlessly that you're taken aback. Even your mother seems surprised by what she just said, but she doesn't backtrack or apologize. She only looks at you with a guilty expression, her eyes betraying her harsh tone. You let out a bitter chuckle before responding.

“You know what mom? I don’t think you’re worried” you say, your eyes fixed on your hands in your lap before voicing the thoughts that have been on your mind for a long time “I think you’re jealous” The silence in the room was so prominent you could hear a pin drop “I know you were young when you had me and I’m sorry I screwed up your life, but your misery is not my fault, I have to live my own life and make my own path, and being an idol is the path that I chose, so I’ll let things clear for you, you either accept my choices without any type of criticism or I’ll have to leave this place” You stand up and before she can respond, you leave her with this; “although, after signing my contract, I might just leave either way” with that, you make your way to your shared bedroom, not having the courage to say anything after your fight.

Later that night, you noticed your mother quietly slipping into bed, assuming you were already asleep. However, you struggled to find peace, tossing and turning as your thoughts continued to plague you. Every time you tried to close your eyes; you could only see the look on your mother's face after your confrontation. The night stretched on endlessly, and despite your efforts to find rest, sleep eluded you. The weight of guilt lay heavy on your heart, and you knew that the rift between you and your mother had only grown wider. Your once-fragile relationship now seemed completely shattered. However, you were resolute in your decision to pursue your career and follow your dreams. While the thought of losing your mother was painful, the thought of losing this opportunity would have been even worse. With this assurance, you finally managed to drift off into unconsciousness, with the hope that tomorrow you’ll be able to forget about the tough time you went through tonight.

You don’t think you’ve ever been more nervous than you are right now.

You can feel the cold sweat forming on the crown of your forehead, your body feels like a quivering mass of jelly, the subtle trembles barely perceptible to anyone but you, a physical manifestation of your own nervousness, you’ll be biting your nails too if you could, but ever since receiving the most shocking news of your life you don’t think there’s anything left for you to bite off.

Today, if everything goes according to plan, you’ll become the newest artist under Rkive’s music records, the most prestigious record label in the entire country, owned by one of the most acclaimed producers of the decade, and your own personal God, Kim Namjoon.

As you step into Rkive's gleaming headquarters, the air is charged with an indescribable energy. You can practically feel the prestige of the company pulsing through the walls, and the faint sound of music drifting through the halls is enough to send shivers down your spine. You check your phone for the last time just to make sure you got everything down, the instructions they gave you were simple, but your anxiety makes you feel hyperaware of everything, taking a deep breath while closing your eyes you try to calm yourself down, chill the hell out, you say to yourself, you’re going to weird him out, granted, Namjoon might not be weirded out by you but he’ll definitely would think you aren’t ready for this and that’s not the case at all, you've worked so hard for this opportunity, and you won't let your anxiety get in the way now that you're so close to being signed, especially by someone like Namjoon, and given his reputation, being signed by him would be the ultimate validation of your hard work and talent.

Kim Namjoon isn’t an easy man to impress, because not only has he worked with the biggest stars in the industry, but also, any music related award you can think of; he most likely already has won at least two of those, and if his experience wasn’t intimidating enough, his unwavering commitment to achieving perfection on every aspect of his music is both impressive and intimidating, commanding respect from those around him, and you definitely respect him, in fact, there's no one in the world that you look up more than Namjoon, you want to impress him, make him remember who you are, make him wish he had discover you sooner, you want your idol to want you as desperately as you want him, and you won’t leave this building until you accomplish that.

As you approach the front desk, the receptionist glances up at you with raised eyebrows, silently urging you to speak. Though her harsh glare could be intimidating, you're determined to stay focused on the reason you’re here. You won't let her nasty glare affect you, not even a little bit.

You take a deep breath and greet her politely, "Hi." Even though she might be looking down on you, you refuse to be rude. You state your business clearly, "My name is Y/N, and I have a meeting with Mr. Kim Namjoon today in his studio."

At the mention of his name, her glare softens up a bit, but still looks annoyed, with a monotone voice, she says “Wait for just a second please” before reaching for the telephone on the desk, it’s only a matter of seconds after calling when the other line picks up, they exchange a couple of words that you can’t decipher and after she hangs up, she looks back at you with a fake smile before standing up, she speaks with a more cheerful tone this time “Mr. Kim’s assistant is coming down to escort you to his studio, please wait for a moment, you’re welcome to sit down in the lounge as you wait” the receptionist points at the small waiting lounge that’s right in front of the elevators, you whisper her a small thank you before making your way over there, sitting down on the individual sleek black leather couch, impatiently waiting for his assistant to come out of one the elevators.

After sitting there for just a few minutes, you begin to feel very out of place, everything in this building looks, feels, and even smells expensive, and somehow here you are, a nameless trainee with second hand bought clothes, with the smallest, cheapest purse which you keep holding on tightly into your lap, shrinking into yourself more each minute that passes by.

You’ve never had a high self-esteem, but it seems the small bit of confidence you’ve had has disappear after knowing that you’ve won the contest and you will be meeting Kim Namjoon in person, you’re scared, your mind tormenting you with all the “what if?” questions, what if he decides you’re not actually the one?, what if he thinks you’re not good enough?

What if?, what if?, what if?

Before you can think about any more ways on how this whole thing could go wrong, the small ding sound of the elevator pulls you away from your thoughts, you’re quick to stand up and soon after that, a short, petite woman steps out of the elevator, her eyes find you quickly after coming out and a small smile appears on her face as she approaches you, clutching a clipboard on her hands.

“Hi!” Her cheerful tone catches you by surprise, but you smile nevertheless “You’re Y/N right?” you answer her with a small nod, which she ends up mimicking before talking again “I’m Sohee, I’m Namjoon’s assistant, do you have everything we asked you to bring?” you respond with a small ‘yes’ before making a gesture towards your bag, she nods again before signaling the elevator “Follow me please, I’ll take you to his studio so you can talk for a bit before signing” You’re quick to follow her request by stepping into the elevator next to her, she presses the button of the 14th floor and you both wait until the doors close and the elevator starts running, Sohee turns to you and smiles before asking “Nervous?” You let out a small laugh before answering.

“Very, I can’t believe this is happening right now” Your palms begin to sweat, and she laughs as you wipe your hands on your pants, you decide to redirect the conversation towards her “So, how long have you’ve been working for him?” Sohee’s eyes widen up a little bit after your question, she seems genuinely surprised by your interest, but she answers either way.

“Three years next month, my best friend got me this job actually, it’s sort of a long story but to keep things short, she works with Kim Taehyung, he told her about Namjoon needing an assistant and that’s how I landed here” She speaks very fast and you have a hard time catching what she’s saying, but before you can respond, the elevator comes to a stop and the doors begin to open, you’re welcomed by a similar lounge than the one in the reception, only that this lounge had a large plaque that read “Rkive Music Records” in a beautiful gold color, the letters engraved in a pitch-black tone, if you though the lobby looked expensive, Namjoon’s floor was a whole different level.

“Follow me please, I’ll lead you to his office, he’s already waiting for you” Her words make you shiver, you can’t believe it’s finally happening, the excitement is making your legs shake and you can barely breath as you make your way through the long hallway, passing the small reception desk and several doors of what you can assume are different studios.

Sohee comes an abrupt stop, causing you to hold your breath until she turns to look at you and with a bright smile, she gestures the door right in front of you, which holds a sleek, platinum plaque with Kim Namjoon’s name engraved on it, you gulp and letting out a deep sigh, she says “This is it, good luck!” She holds up two thumbs and you let a nervous laugh at her antics, she leaves quietly and just like that you’re left on your own, with a shaky hand, you reach to know on the studio’s door, you only have to wait for a couple of seconds, but you’re anxiety is making it seem like time going slower than it actually is, you’re beginning to lose your mind until finally, the door handle turns and you’re face to face with the person you’ve never thought you’ll ever see this close, Kim Namjoon stands right in front of you, with a big smile on his face, his dimples only making him look even more attractive, his dark hair is pulled back and he’s wearing all black, he looks hot and he knows it, that’s what makes him more dangerous, it seems like an eternity before he opens his mouth and says, “Well hello there” His deep voice makes you even more nervous, “You must be Y/N, please, come in” Granted, he chose you as the winner of the contest, he must know your name, it’s logical, but your inner fan cannot believe your idol just said your name so casually, you compose yourself before you answer him with an enthusiastic nod, not forgetting to bow before anything, Namjoon let’s out a chuckle before leaning against the wall to make room for you to walk in, you’re quick to follow, entering his studio while a timid “Thank you” leaves your lips.

The first thing you notice about his studio is how big it is, you had expected nothing less than this, giving that he’s the owner of this record label, but it still doesn’t make it any less shocking, you almost feel ashamed of the fact that his studio seems to be bigger than your shared apartment with your mom. When you first walk in, there’s a small hallway that leads you to the main part of his studio, but instead of a wall, there’s a huge glass to showcase his biggest accomplishments, his awards are perfectly lined up in multiple shelves and there’s some of his biggest songs displayed with as either platinum or gold records, some of the movies he has produced the soundtrack of are also displayed by a frame with the poster on it, you don’t realize you stopped following him until he reached out to tap you in the shoulder, you turned to look at him and you found him with a teasing smirk on his face, you give him a shy smile in return.

“Sorry, I was just admiring everything" Your face feels hot, and he lets out a deep chuckle that makes you shiver, his presence alone makes you nervous, and having him smiling and talking to you with that deep voice of his was making you crazy.

"Don't worry, it’s a bit overwhelming isn’t it?” You nod and Namjoon imitates the action “Hobi says that all the time when he comes by” The casual mention of such a huge star makes your eyes go wide and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him, he smiles widely and you could swear he mouthed the word cute, but you couldn’t tell if you were just imagining things or if it actually happened, so you only smiled and continued to follow him through the hallway.

And if you thought the hallway was something, you weren’t prepared to see his actual studio, in fact, you couldn’t even process your surroundings because Namjoon put his right hand on your lower back, a weird feeling washed all over you but noticing he was guiding you to a small sofa, you turned to look at him and he only gestured with his other hand for you to take a seat, suddenly, your nerves made you feel silly, of course he was just being nice, you were just paranoid.

“Please take a seat and get comfortable, it’s going to be a pretty long session” Namjoon chuckles after that and you let out an awkward laugh.

His studio was so intimidating, you couldn't even sit down in peace without thinking you'll probably break something that cost more than your apartment, sensing your nervousness, Namjoon puts his hand on your shoulders while giving you a reassuring smile.

"Don’t panic, everything's going well" You give him a small nod, and he turns his back after you finally seem to catch your breath, walking towards what seems to be a mini fridge "Would you like something to drink? I have water, some energy drinks" Namjoon pauses and looks up at you with a teasing smile, his dimples full on display, this man would be the death for you "I have beer as well, if you can handle it" He raises an eyebrow and it makes you giggle, Namjoon seems to love your reaction, but he waits patiently for your answer, you compose yourself and finally give him an answer.

“Water is fine, thank you” Your voice is barely audible, but you don’t stutter so you consider that a win, Namjoon nods and pulls two water bottles from the mini fridge, and makes his way to his chair after closing the door.

“So, let’s start talking business, shall we?” Namjoon says after handing you the bottle and sitting down in a chair, the only thing between you and him being the small coffee table where a leather folder lays over it, as well as two fancy looking pens.

“Okay” You agree, and Namjoon’s aura seems to take a shift, exuding power and knowledge, two things you very much lack off.

“So, I’m assuming that you read the contract when you entered the contest, right?” His gaze is so intense it makes you grip on the edge of your skirt tightly, responding with a nod because you know that your voice will give out if you try to speak right now, Namjoon takes your answer before continuing, “Basically, the contract says that we’re making an EP, you will be making all types of promotions and you will be making a music video for the main track, I have some songs ready and while I personally think the artist should have an input on the songs, we were given only two months to deliver a full EP, so as soon as you sign we’ll begin to work, okay?” Your enthusiastic nod makes him smile “Perfect, do you have any concerns about the contract? You should ask questions before signing, you know?” That makes you genuinely laugh, and Namjoon seems happy he has eased your mood a little.

“The contract is only for an EP, right?” Your tone is a bit steadier and Namjoon nods before explaining.

“Yes, but I’m sure your EP will be a success, which means a more permanent contract” Namjoon can sense you tensing up at the probability, so he surprisingly, reaches out to squeeze your thigh before adding “Someone as talented as you shouldn’t be worried about that, your debut will go better than you expect, I’ll make sure of that” His words feel like a soft blanket, providing comfort to your worries, the current position of his hand makes you nervous, but you pay it no mind as you nod and smile, Namjoon is just being friendly, there’s nothing to be scared about.

“So, what about management? Who is going to be my manager?” Your question makes him smile and you’re shocked to the core when his index finger rises up to point at himself, there’s no fucking way “But Mr. Kim, you’ve never- “Namjoon cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

“There’s a first time for everything, right?” You’re speechless and Namjoon takes your silence as a cue to keep talking, “You know, when I saw your audition, I was starstruck, I even got mad at the management because how in the fuck have they kept you training for so long? Such a talented person deserves to be seen by the whole world” His dragon shaped eyes look directly into yours and you’re left breathless by his praise, hearing those words coming from his mouth seemed unreal “I wanted to be in control of your debut because while this people might have underappreciated your talent, I saw your potential right from the start” His praise makes you feel dizzy and you can’t believe what’s happening right now, you can barely register him reaching out for one of the pens at the table, putting in one of your palms before he asks “What do you think then, would you give me the chance to make you the star you’re meant to be?” You almost feel hypnotized, slowly nodding your head while gripping the expensive pen on your hand, Namjoon’s smile almost seems to shine as he hands you the leather folder containing the contract, you read quickly through the pages before reaching the final one, where your name is beneath a long line, waiting only for your signature, because Namjoon had already signed this.

With a trembling hand and with a deep sigh, you put the folder on your lap and click on the small button on the pen, you only pause for a second before signing the contract, you’re still in the clouds even after looking at your signature on the strikingly white paper, you lift your head only to see Namjoon looking at you with mischief written all over his face, his eyes seem to hide something you can’t quite decipher, but he soon opens his mind to let you know exactly what his thoughts are.

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll make sure you become the biggest star this company has ever seen.”

You knew that becoming an artist was never going to be an easy job, but the amount of times you’ve stayed working late this week alone was ridiculous, turns out, the rumors about Namjoon’s work ethic were true, his perfectionism was driving you insane, the amount of times he had asked you to start a song all over again because he wasn’t a ‘100% sure’ if he like the way you sounded almost made you bang your head against the recording booth wall, but you didn’t, you stayed put, only smiling and responding by putting your thumbs up until he gave you the sign to get ready to start recording again. You sang until your throat became sore, you danced until you stopped feeling your limbs, the fatigue was quickly catching up to you and everything started to pile up fast, you needed to memorize all lyrics and choreographies in less than two months without mentioning all the physical changes the agency was demanding from you, your mother’s words ringing loudly through your ears every time you were reminded to not eat until you were done for the day and even then, your single daily meal would barely make you feel full, you had to control your hunger by eating a small bowl of ice cubes and drinking water.

You were in the verge of a breakdown when one night after your first month of working together, Namjoon had finally told you that you did great and that you could come out to join him while he worked, you were so caught up with singing your heart out that you didn’t realized that Namjoon had ordered dinner for the two of you, you thanked him by giving him a small bow and a tired smile, he only gestured her to sit down and to eat, and you did exactly that, pulling your chair closer to him before sitting down, to which you could see from the corner of your eye that he smirk at your actions.

“I didn’t ask for what you liked but I supposed that you can’t go wrong with McDonald’s” Namjoon said while putting his earphones down to his neck and grabbing his own dinner, you made a hand gesture to let him know that it’s fine, McDonald’s right now seems like heaven to your starved stomach.

“It’s okay, you shouldn't worry about me, I would’ve eaten something at home” You dig into some fries and Namjoon sends you a look you can’t quite comprehend.

“Nonsense, how can I not worry about you? Don’t think I haven’t noticed about the stupid diets the company is forcing you to do” You freeze at his words and Namjoon lets out a deep sigh before adding “You should’ve told me before; I would’ve done something earlier” His concern makes you feel guilty, so you try to make excuses to make him (and yourself) feel better.

“They’re just making sure I look good before the filming starts, I have to look my best before debuting, you know that” You can’t even look at him while you’re talking, you don’t know if it’s your shitty diet or Namjoon’s words that make you lose your appetite, but he wasn’t content with your answer, pulling his chair even closer to you, forcing you to finally look at him in the eye for the first time tonight.

“It’s bullshit, you already look perfect to me” His words make your heart jump “And besides, if you don’t eat well, you won’t have enough energy for the live performances, so you better start eating good after today, you got that?” You haven’t even noticed than Namjoon’s hand has made it’s way to one of your thighs, whilst your knees were faintly brushing against his, his sudden closeness catches you off guard, but you make no effort to separate yourself from him.

During this past month, you have started to catch up on some patterns, patterns that make you feel somewhat uneasy, because while you know it might just be your imagination, you can’t help but to realize how isolated you’ve become after you started to work on your EP, you haven’t spoken to any of your fellow trainee friends because, according to Namjoon, they might be jealous of your upcoming debut so you must focus on yourself right now, which is a fancier way of telling you to not speak to them, besides that, the only interactions you get outside of the building is with your mother, which, after your fight, your relationship with her now consisted on greeting each other at night and leaving the apartment before either one of you woke up, and while you talked with Sohee every now and then, the only constant human interaction you had for the past month has been with Namjoon, and while your silly crush on him remains very much alive, you can’t help but to feel like something isn’t right, his lingering touches make you jump every time it happens, and some of the things he says makes you feel uncomfortable, but you’ve blame it all on your nerves, the deadlines are approaching too fast and Namjoon is only trying to make things easier for you, it makes you feel ungrateful to doubt on him like this but you can’t help it, he’s a man with too much power and you think it’s only natural for someone in your position to feel like this.

You brush off your inner dilemma when Namjoon asks you if you want to listen to your last recording, passing you a pair of headphones and waiting until you’ve put them before playing it, you’re soon welcomed by the perfect instrumental before hearing your voice through the headphones, no matter how many times you’ve done this by now, listening to your own voice feels just as exciting as the first time, the unfinished song quickly comes to an end, you and Namjoon continue to talk about minor details until you pause the conversation to drink some water, your focus on the large screen on Namjoon’s mixing table makes you unaware of the intense stare he has set on you.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Namjoon’s unexpected question takes you by surprise, and stare at the screen in shock before you can answer him.

“What?” You let an awkward laugh out as you look in his direction, his expression being unable to read. Your brain still can't comprehend a reasoning behind his question or why he would be interested in such meaningless matters, but he was your boss now, and you didn’t want to make him mad at you just because you felt a little uncomfortable by his question, so you responded “I don’t have a boyfriend, I never had one actually” You’re anxious and that makes you share more information than what he has asked for, however, he seems to take this information as if it was exactly what he needed to know, he leans back in his chair and gives you a teasing smile after your confession.

“Now that I can’t believe it” You're about to protest in your defense but he finishes what he wanted to say before you get a single word out of your mouth “A beautiful girl like you has never had a boyfriend? That just can’t be true” His smile grows bigger as you get more flustered by his compliments, his hand reaches out towards your hair and tucks the loose strand that covered one side of your face, caressing your cheek with his long fingers as you lean into his touch, welcoming his soft touch after longing for it for what felt like an eternity "I'm convinced now that boys your age simply cannot see a real women even if it’s right in front of them” Namjoon seems to thrive on the effect he has caused in you after you let out a shy giggle at his words, how does he always know what’s the right thing to say?, you feel so giddy inside you feel like you might burst with how happy you felt after hearing those words come out of his lips, did Namjoon really see you as a woman? You simply cannot believe it, a man like him would never set his sight on such a meaningless, young, and stupid girl like you, no, a man like him needed a mature and sophisticated woman who matched his good looks and graceful nature.

“You don’t mean that” Your lack of confidence makes you take distance from him by standing up and trying to walk away from him, but Namjoon seemed to have different plans.

You gasped loudly as he spined you around before picking you up so easily and placing you over his mixing table, it was a little uncomfortable giving that you were sitting over so many buttons, but right now that didn't bother you in the slightest, especially now that his mouth has quickly found it’s way on yours, the two of you sharing a such a messy kiss that will make you feel ashamed if you were on your right mind, he bites your bottom lip and you let out a small whimper at his actions, Namjoon separates from you only after your lips are red and swollen, you’re too far gone to notice him parting your legs open with his large hands, looking at you dead in the eyes as he slowly sinks down on his knees and you could help but to stare at him in shock.

Kim Namjoon, the man who’s technically your boss and the man you have fantasized about for years, is getting down on his knees to pleasure you.

"Namjoon, what are you.." He raises a single finger motioning you to be quiet and you quickly follow his command, he keeps looking at you as his hands make their way to your ass, gripping it tightly as you let out a soundless gasp.

"Don't you want it baby? I see the way you look at me" His deep voice lures you, his experience showing through on how easily he got you longing for more, his eyes leave yours as he starts kissing up from your knee to your inner thigh, giving you goosebumps all over "Your pretty eyes light up whenever you see me, it drives me crazy, I can’t hold myself back any longer" He's the one that’s driving you crazy, touching you in ways no one ever has, making you feel desired, willing to give you all the pleasure you can take "Let me do this beautiful, let me taste that pretty pussy of yours" His crude words make you moan as his mouth gets closer to your cunt, you can't this anymore, you need him, as his hands start to grip your underwear, you softly grip his hair and make him look up at you, the sight of him is sinful, messy hair, his dragon eyes filled with lust and his beautiful lips are swollen after the kiss you shared, you need him so bad, you cradled his face in your hands as you speak.

"I just-I've never" You're so desperate for him you can't even form a proper sentence, he chuckles darkly and starts to pull at your underwear, the action making you even more anxious, and without thinking straight, you spit out the truth behind your nervousness "I'm a virgin" His antics stop and his eyes gleam with mischief, although he stopped his movements, his hands didn't move from their position.

"Do you want me to stop then? I would understand if you wanted to, but…" He takes a deep breath while he buries his face onto your inner thigh, you run your fingers through his hair before he speaks again "I really want to eat you out" Namjoon's word send a wave of shivers down your spine and while you’re scared shitless, you don't really feel like it's the right decision to deny a men like him the opportunity to pleasure a little nobody like yourself.

"I want that too" You whisper loud enough for him to hear and the dimples that appeared after you said that made you think that it was completely worth it to ignore your fears.

“I’ll be taking this off then” Namjoon’s deep voice gives you goosebumps as he pulls down your underwear, slowly dragging them down your legs until they hit your ankles, taking them off completely after that.

You’re shaking and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

His hands continue to brush up and down your hips, before making its way to the back of your thighs, gripping them tightly, opening your legs just a tiny bit more before starting to kiss on your inner thighs, your hands instantly reaching out to his hair, gripping it tightly at the roots, Namjoon lets out a deep groan that makes you shiver, his touch becomes rougher after your antics, bruising the inside of your thighs as his tongue lapped on your clit, you couldn’t recognize the sound that came out of your mouth, you’re moans becoming louder as his lips latch onto your clit, you can feel his fingers starting to tease your entrance, collecting your slick before pushing a single finger inside, he continues to make out with your cunt before easing a second finger inside you, and your brain stops working as soon as he easily finds your sensitive spot, pushing his fingers in and out quickly, making your eyes closing harshly and your thighs trap him as you let out a scream before coming on his tongue, your legs shaking as he greedily laps your orgasm, he doesn’t stop until you whimper in pain and pull at his hair trying to separate his mouth from you, Namjoon looks sinful with his lips glistening with your slick, you can’t help but moan as you look at him, his hands make their way to your neck and he harshly pulls you into a kiss, it’s so messy and you’re loving it, your small hands caress his back and after a while Namjoon ends the kiss while brushing your hair with his fingers, looking into your eyes before smiling.

“You’re such a good girl baby, cumming into my tongue like that” His words make you blush, you’re face gets warmer and he laughs at your reaction “Don’t be shy now baby, not after you screamed my name like that” You hide your face into his chest from the embarrassment, and Namjoon continues to laugh as he embraces you in a tight hug.

This only last for a couple of minutes before he turns his head towards you, his mouth being dangerously close to your ear before whispering; “You know, good girls also return the favor” His words make you gulp and you know that it’s only fair what he’s asking for, hell, if it was any other man, he probably would’ve expected you to get on your knees without giving anything in return, and besides, you’re truly wondering how does Kim Namjoon taste like.

“I’ve never done it before” The deep groan that leaves his lips makes you tremble; he gives you a small kiss before smiling down at you.

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll be guiding you ok?” You nod before standing up while holding hands with him, Namjoon takes a step back before sitting down on his chair and the look on his face makes your legs feel like jelly, with a low, deep voice, he commands “Get on your knees for me baby.”

Taking a step forward so your body fits inside his open legs, you slowly sink down onto your knees, Namjoon lazily motions at his crotch before saying “Go on then, pull my cock out.”

Your nerves make your hands shake as you reach for his belt, unbuckling him with minimal effort was well as unbuttoning his pants with ease, Namjoon seems desperate with the way he’s helping you by dragging his pants mid down his thighs, his hard cock hitting his lower stomach, making your mouth water at the sinful sight, Namjoon smiles at your reaction “Take it with your hands baby, c’mon” your small hand reaches out to touch him and Namjoon lets out a hiss before adding; “Suck on my tip baby”.

Gradually, with Namjoon’s help you soon started to set a slow peace, making him lose his mind at the sight.

Your pretty young self on your knees, mouth full of his cock, gagging all over him making him go feral, he doesn't know why he's losing his mind this bad, truthfully, this isn't the best blowjob he's ever had, but it's the fact that it's your first time doing this, making him the only men who's ever gotten to see you like this makes his hips buckle into your mouth making you gag even louder, and he can't help but to let out a deep groan while gripping your hair even tighter. He must completely ruin you now, he needs to mark you so that every man knows who’s doing this to you, that you did everything you could to please him and him only, that you belong to him, forever.

Your lazy blowjob only last for a couple more minutes before Namjoon decides he’s had enough, with a single pull of your hair, he forces you to separate your mouth from his cock, a trail of saliva connecting you to his tip, Namjoon has never seen something so hot in his life.

You look up to him expectantly, and you can only let a small yelp after his strong arms push you up until your standing onto your shaky legs.

He roughly bends you over his mixing table, his equipment making you feel slightly uncomfortable giving the position he had chosen but you stay put, not wanting to disappoint him, he coos at you for being so obedient and quietly apologizes is he has hurt you, you appreciate his concern and decide to wiggle your hips at him in anticipation, Namjoon laughs and spanks your ass, making you squeal and jump at the unexpected action, you feel him leaving his position behind you, you try to look for him without leaving the position he has put you in and you find him looking through one of his drawers, he's probably looking for a condom, you thought, and your suspicions turn to be correct, the platinum package shining under his studio lights, you can feel the anticipation running through your veins, you're about to have sex for the first time with none other than Kim Namjoon, you were one lucky bitch.

While you feel excited, you're also anxious, what if he's not satisfied with what you have to offer? How can you compete with the types of women that have been like this with him? What if you're not enough for him?

You're panicking and Namjoon only notices after taking a condom out of the box, he walks up at you and quickly wraps his arms around your waist and begins to shush you after your breathing starts to rapidly increase.

"Relax baby, I'm not doing anything you don't want me to" He whispers into your hair and then gives you several pecks, his actions relaxing you only briefly before you start panicking again.

"I just… What if you don't like me afterwards?" You whisper pitifully while a single tear rolls down your cheek, Namjoon holds you even tighter after that.

"Oh baby, I feel like it's the opposite" His arms lift you enough so that he can kiss your cheek, helping you clear your negative headspace for a bit "I don't think having you just once it's going to be enough for me" You turn your head to look at him just to find him already staring at you, with one look you could tell that he means what he said, and that it's what makes you give in, you nod your head a couple of times and bend over the mixing table again, taking a deep breath and clutching at the border of his keyboard, you gain the courage to ask for what you want.

"Take me Namjoon, I want to be yours" You try to sound as sensual as you can but you don't think it worked giving how much your voice was trembling, but Namjoon savored each word that you just said, silly girl, of course you'll do anything to please him, and now that he knows he's going to be the first man to claim you, he's sure now that he won't let any other man taint you the same way he's going to.

Coating his fingers with the remains of your previous orgasm, he starts by stretching you by inserting a single finger inside, your walls almost instantly gripping his finger tight as you let out a loud moan, look at yourself, being such a good whore for him, he's going to reward you for being so good for him but right now the only thing on his mind is fucking you, so he quickly sets up his peace and starts to finger you, adding another finger inside and having his palm rub directly onto your clit, knowing that with your inexperience, this would probably be enough for you to cum once more.

You couldn't even try to hold in your screams, everything felt like it was too much but also felt like it wasn't enough, you couldn't understand if you needed him to stop or to go even faster, his long fingers pumping into you and reaching all the right places, making you moan and close your eyes in pleasure, at this point you didn't even know your own name, the only thing you knew is that when he plugged a third finger inside of you, you were not going to last any longer.

"Oh god! Namjoon, please-I, please" You couldn't even form a sentence, you wanted to tell him how desperate you were to cum, yet words came out of your mouth like a bunch of gibberish, you reach out to grip his arm and Namjoon was thrilled watching you struggle, the effect he has on you it's almost comical to him.

"It's alright baby, I know what you're trying to say," His other hand reaches out to roughly grab onto your breast and you're right there, needing that extra push to finally let go, and his next words are the push that make you climax "Cum on my fingers like the good girl I know you are".

You felt like your soul left your body, if the first orgasm felt good, this one was heavenly, waves of pleasure rolling through your body in ways you couldn't describe, Namjoon stops his ministration but doesn't pull his fingers out, relishing how your release is coating his fingers as you're panting for air, he delivers a series of kisses into the back of your neck and lets you take several breaths before letting go of your body for a brief moment, you're about to ask him why he's pulling away but then you hear the sound of his pants drop into the floor, he rubs your lower back as he reaches for the condom, you look over your shoulder to find him ripping the package open and when noticing you having your eyes on him, he smirks as he rolls up the condom onto his length, you gulp as you're reminded that everything about Namjoon is huge, he doesn't take his eyes off of you as he finally positions himself behind you and rubs your hips as a form of reassurance, you smile at him and try to lift your hips a bit more, slightly rubbing your cunt against his cock, Namjoon hisses and spanks your ass after that, you let out whimper and his hands grip onto your hips.

"Dirty girl, I'm trying to be nice to you and here you are, rubbing yourself all over me” His hand rubs your ass as he drags his cock up and down your opening, teasing you as he barely pushes in before backing out, repeating the action until he finally pushes in, filling you to the hilt, you whimper at the unfamiliar feeling and Namjoon shushes you at the sound “Sorry baby, does it hurt too much?” His voice flatters and you think he’s also having a tough time by containing himself like this, his struggle making you feel better.

“Doesn’t hurt, just feels weird” You weren’t lying, while Namjoon was on the bigger side, you were also wet enough and stretched for him, you only needed a couple of minutes before saying “You can move now.”

It only took him a moment before grabbing your hips tightly and started to rapidly thrust into you, his actions making you grip the table for dear life as his movements quickly became all too much, with each snap of his hips, your body sunk into too a much deeper pleasure, your breast starting to bounce at the same time his hips slammed into your ass, you couldn’t control the screams that left your mouth with all the pleasure you were experiencing now.

“Namjoon, fuck-baby” You don’t even understand what you’re saying, especially as Namjoon’s hands leave your hips as one of them reaches out for your throat and the other one reaches out for your clit, his fingers making fast circular motions that make you grip on his wrist, you have no force left to stop him from overstimulating you, you’re forced to take everything he gives you.

“It’s alright my love, cum for me, cum on my cock like the dirty slut you are” His degrading words only make you wetter, your legs shake and your body spams uncontrollably as you cum, your tight walls making it impossible to Namjoon to hold his own orgasm in, he comes hard clutches you tightly into his arms, slowly thrusting into you until his cock turns soft, only then he pulls out from you.

He looks down only to be greeted by the sight of your wet cunt, both of your thighs covered in a deep crimson shade, Namjoon chuckles darkly at this, he takes out the condom and discards it into the trash can before taking you in his arms, bringing you to lay down on his large dark sofa with him, you’re too far gone to notice his sinister smile as he looks into the top right corner of his studio, where the faint sight of a red blinking dot can be seen only for those who look for it, and Namjoon knew exactly where to look.

He was after all, the person that set it right there.

The first time you stepped into the Bangtan building, you expected to be stared at, nobody knew who you were and being a stranger to them you couldn’t expect them to not be curious about you, plus, the stares started decreasing after they found out who you were and why you were there all of the sudden, but right now, the back of your head was burning with the amount of people looking shamelessly at you, and it wasn’t just the fact they were all staring, it was the fact that their looks were full of hatred, they were looking down at you and you don’t have a single clue of why would they do that, you’ve never been mean to any of the staff, you start to overthink in the middle of the hallway before you realize the reason why they could be staring, shit, do they know what happened last night between you and Namjoon? No, you quickly say to yourself, that’s impossible, no one else was in the floor when you and Namjoon got out of the studio until late hours of the night, he took you to his house, where you repeated what you did in his studio all over again in the late night, and in the early morning as well, but there still isn’t an explanation on why everyone had suddenly turned on you like this.

For the last month, walking into Namjoon’s studio always felt like you were coming into the place you belonged, a safe space where you could be free and be yourself around him, but today, it felt like you were walking into your death sentence, you didn’t want to believe everyone found out because of last night, that couldn’t be true, right? Maybe Namjoon told Sohee that you were together now, and she probably spread the word around the label, right? Namjoon would never betray your trust like this, right?

Wrong.

You don’t find Namjoon in his studio, instead, you find a laptop on top of his mixing table, the screen is turned off but the sound it’s making and the turn on button being lit up tells you that it’s on, you take a seat in your usual chair but the sticky note over the screen makes you want to snoop in a little bit.

“Here you go Hyung, and don’t worry about anything, it looks and sounds amazing ;)” What could it be? Namjoon didn’t say anything about working on anything else besides your EP, and he also said he wasn’t compromised with any projects right now, so you doubted this was about work, what could this be?, the curiosity got the best of you, so you move your fingers around the touchpad until the screen lit up.

You didn’t want to look into his stuff without permission, but you were so curious about what this could be. The screen showed a video player with no thumb nail on it, so you pressed play and waited for the video to show.

How badly you wish you didn’t do it.

The first thing you hear is a moan, your moan, it’s loud and it’s filthy, your eyes fill with tears as you realize what’s going on.

It’s a video from last night, and not only does the video show everything that happened last night, but your face is also very visible, the quality doesn’t let it up to speculation.

Namjoon recorded you having sex with him, and he made sure your face was visible on the entire video.

You’re too horrified watching the video play to notice the presence of that man behind you, you only notice after him getting close enough to catch his shadow onto the screen.

“Namjoon, what is this?” You could barely speak, air seemed to abandon your lungs after what you just watched, the most vulnerable and intimate moment in your life, captured on video like it meant nothing. You turn around to face him while Namjoon keeps a neutral expression despite your distress, the man you’ve come to know, and love was nowhere to be found, in his place was this mean and coldhearted man who doesn’t seem to realize how much he’s hurting you.

“What do you mean darling?” You don’t even realize you’re standing up and he’s in front of you now, his tone being so condescending that it makes you feel disgusted, he traps you into his arms and forced you to look at him in the eyes by harshly gripping your chin up, his mocking smirk breaking your heart when you realize that he doesn’t want to comfort you like he has done so many times before, right now, Namjoon is making fun of you “Don’t you like it? Because personally I loved it, it really captured how well you took me last night, how you were a good little slut just for me” A heart wrenching sob left your mouth and Namjoon tsk at you while shaking his head, his evil smirk doesn’t leave his face for a second “What’s the matter baby? You don’t like me calling you a slut? You didn’t seem to mind that nickname last night” He has the audacity to laugh at you and instinctively you begin to weakly try to break free from his hold, tears streaming down your face.

“How could you do this to me?! Fuck you!” Each time you try to get out of Namjoon’s tight hold and run as far as you could from him, his grip only became tighter, so tight that it started to hurt, you let out a pained whimper, but Namjoon didn’t seem to care at all, gripping your chin even harsher this time.

“And where do you think you’re going baby, huh?” You can’t stand his fucking tone anymore, you need to get out of here, now.

“You won’t get away with this, I’m going to tell everyone what you did!” You try to stay firm, but every time Namjoon laughs you seem to get smaller and smaller, his mocking tone making you feel dumb.

“Yeah baby? What exactly are you going to say?” He spins you so that you’re facing his laptop and keeps a tight grip on your waist with one hand as he presses play once more with his other hand, the lewd sounds from last night echoing his studio, making a new set of tears appear into your eyes, you closed your eyes while shaking your head, Namjoon grips you by the hair while forcing you to watch the awful video, you whimper as you are forced to relive what you thought was an intimate moment and you’re horrified realizing it’s anything but that. “You look pretty willing to me, in fact, if we go back to it you can even hear you begging for me” Another sob leaves your lips and Namjoon kisses your cheek after hearing your distress “Aw, don’t cry sweetheart, it’s not like you think, this wasn’t meant to hurt you” He tries to wipe your tears off but you swat his hand before it comes close to your face “Why are you so mad at this? I thought you would like it” You're in a daze right now, and his words only make you feel more confused. How could he think that you will like this? He invaded your privacy and betrayed your trust by unknowingly filming you in the most intimate moment of your life, Namjoon seems to sense your confusion and lets out a small cooing noise.

“Oh baby, you really don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this, don’t you? I had to make sure you didn’t chicken out on me, I can’t let you go that easy, not after waiting too long to have you” His words only confuse you even more and you’re left with more questions than with answers.

“How could you possibly met me before this?” Your voice was barely audible at this point, but you know he heard you just fine, your throat closing up even more when he laughs while not breaking eye contact, before all this mess, Namjoon’s presence was already intimidating, but right now is downright terrifying, you can feel your legs giving out when he comes closer to you, gently cradling your face in his hands, more tears rolling down your cheeks as he begins to speak again.

“Oh darling, you’ve always been so eager, so gullible” The confusion your feeling must be visible to him because he lets a small tsk whilst grabbing a small strand of your bangs to push it behind your ear, his playful tone doesn’t leave his voice.

“It was a mere casualty really, Hoseok asked me to come to the main Bangtan building after one of his rehearsals, but on my way to his practice room, I saw a group of trainees in the smallest dancing studio in the building, dancing to the same part of a song over and over again, most of them messing up every time, except for one” Your entire body freezes and you feel like you might collapse at any moment, this can’t be happening, this isn’t the way things should be going now “I knew from the moment I saw you were going to be a star, and when I started to find out more about you, let me just say I was delighted with what I learned” You need to run, you have to get out of here, but before you can even make a run for it, Namjoon holds you tightly into his arms before he says “I don’t think that’s a good idea baby, you don’t this video to end up in the wrong hands, do you?” Your eyes widen up in fear at the mere though and Namjoon has the audacity to laugh at this “My career will remain intact after this, it might even become good publicity for me, but yours? Oh darling, this will be your downfall, a trainee fucking her producer to assure her success, that’s just low” You violently shake your head at his words.

“That’s not true! That’s not what happened, and you know that!” You’re yelling but no matter how loud you yell, it doesn’t seem like he can hear you, he only brushes you off with an uninterested look.

“I know that darling, but other people don’t, I know you’re a hard working girl who’s fought to be in this position, but they won’t see it that way, if their looking at you like scum now just thinking that we might be dating, imagine how they’ll treat you when they found out you let me fuck you so easily” You can’t control the heartbreaking sob that comes out of your mouth, and Namjoon coos at your pathetic attempt to make him feel guilty, pushing your head into his chest as he embraces you in a hug “Oh but don’t cry baby, I won’t let that happen to you, your my little superstar aren’t you? As long as you stay with me, I’ll make all your dreams come true” His loving and caring tone doesn’t give you butterflies in your stomach anymore, it only makes you feel like you want to puke, and although his actions say otherwise, you’re left with the only option you have left: you believe him, what else can you do after all? No matter what you do, every choice will make you lose, but one will make you lose everything you’ve worked hard for, while the other will make you lose your dignity, and frankly, you don’t know which one is worst.

Namjoon continues to hug you, his hold feels like poison now, who you once considered the man of your dreams has become your biggest nightmare in the blink of an eye and there’s nothing you can do to get away from him now, he kisses you harshly, your tears coming in the way but he seems to be great at ignoring them, and as he deepens out the kiss, there’s only one thought that bitterly crosses through your mind.

You should’ve listened to your mother when you had the chance.

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