#that would be a reality tv show in the apocalypse

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

Jon and Martin would be very good victims of the lonely together.

Though… I guess they wouldn’t be very together then

[egcdeath]

facing the music

pairing: joel miller x reader (pairing from the soccer parents au, but can be read as a stand-alone)

summary: joel’s got a secret. you’re determined to figure it out. 

word count: 4.4k

warnings: mentions of cheating and insecurities around cheating (but no actual cheating), joel is being a little suspicious, joel in his musician era, a bit of arguing, angst, fluffy at the end, au: no apocalypse, very lightly edited

author’s note: thank you all so much for 2k followers!! i hope you enjoy this fic! comments and feedback are always appreciated :)

It started when you noticed that Joel was becoming a little more distant than what was normal for him. Sometimes, you’d ask what his plans for the day were over breakfast, and you’d receive an oddly short and stuttered out response, as if he had to think of a quick lie on the spot. Others, you’d ask if you and Chloe could stay the night—something that was typically a yes without hesitation and was asked as more of a courtesy than anything else—but the amount of days he wanted you over was beginning to dwindle more and more, making it obvious to you that he did not want you over for some reason.  

Which was fine. Maybe Joel just wanted some space from you. Except, then the amount of doubles he needed to work suspiciously began to grow exponentially. Now, you may not have been super familiar with contracting, but some extensive Reddit research had told you that it wasn’t exactly peak contracting season. Besides, there were only so many homes in the surrounding area, and only so many pools that needed to be dug, or decks that needed to be built. 

But the final nail in the coffin were the suspiciously late hours that Joel began to come home on the rare occasion that he actually allowed you to stay. In the past, even when he’d worked long shifts, he was typically back before ten in the evening. You could probably count the days on one hand that he’d been home before that time within the past month.

Despite how hard you tried to convince yourself otherwise, his behavior was clearly a little odd and unsettling. You had been trying your best to let go of some of your past relationship hang ups, and you’d said it a thousand times to your friends, your parents, or really whoever would listen—Joel was nothing like Nathan. You really had nothing to worry about. He would never purposefully deceive you. 

Except with every passing day, it was becoming more and more obvious that Joel was definitely keeping something from you. The new and odd behaviors, the weird change in work schedule, and the late hours all told you that much. As much as you tried to fight it, you’d be a fool not to even question what exactly it was that was causing this rather suspicious behavior.

Obviously, you needed to investigate Joel and his whereabouts somehow. If he wouldn’t be direct about what he was doing, you would simply figure it out yourself. You could always call off sick and follow him around for the day to see if he really was just going through an odd period, or if he actually had something to hide. 

But before you began your investigation, you wanted to give your partner a proper chance to be honest; to let him get anything he needed to get off his chest to you. That reasoning was how you ended up alone in Joel’s bed, binge watching a shitty reality TV show to keep you awake until his door finally cracked open at a staggering three o’clock in the morning. How you even managed to stay awake this late was somewhat of a miracle, but you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and prepared yourself for the interrogation you’d been rehearsing in your head all night.

Joel jumped with a start as he stumbled across you, wide awake in his bed with your laptop on your lap. He was quite obviously not expecting you to be in his room at this hour, let alone awake and seemingly waiting for him. 

“Shit,” he gasped out, clearly more than a little startled by your presence. “I thought you were coming over tomorrow. How’d you get in the house?”

“You gave me a copy of your house keys, remember?” you closed your laptop and set it on your bedside table, reminding yourself to stay cool and calculated in this interaction. “Tommy called to see if I could pick Sarah up, so I spent the evening here.”

“Right. Sorry, I forgot. It’s late. I’m just tired,” he explained, closing the door behind him and beginning to shed some of his clothing. You found the flannel and jeans to be an interesting choice— too uncomfortable for work, just casual enough for a date. Suspicious. “Why are you still up?” 

“Couldn’t sleep,” you replied, fighting away a yawn that would show just how tired you really were as you laid back onto your pillows. “What are you doing back here so late?”

Joel shrugged, looking off to the side as if he didn’t want to make eye contact with you. He had never been a particularly good liar, and it was becoming clear to you that he hadn’t thought through what he would tell you in the event that he was caught coming home so late. 

Probably because he’d gotten away with it so many times before, a thought you hadn’t had since Nathan remarked. You had willingly stayed in the dark for far too long with him. You wouldn’t make that same mistake in this relationship, too. 

“Some of the guys wanted to go get drinks after work,” he explained, busying himself with bringing his clothes to the hamper and searching for pajamas rather than looking at you. 

“Wow. You guys were out for a while then,” you smiled despite not really believing the explanation. Not yet wanting to give away how little you believed him, you lifted the duvet up and gestured at it once he finally turned back to look at you. “You coming to bed?”

“Yeah, just give me one sec,” he said, hurrying off to the bathroom and doing god-knows-what in there. The insecure, angry part of yourself that you’d repressed since your divorce wondered if he was attempting to rinse off the smell of another woman, but the logical side of you reasoned that he was probably just freshening up before getting into bed. 

You couldn’t exactly place how you felt. Obviously, Joel had lied to you about his whereabouts, and you certainly were uncomfortable because of that, but you weren’t quite sure that it was time for you to start feeling betrayed just yet. 

You tried not to stew in your feelings for too long, as Joel still had time to tell you the truth. Maybe he’d had a change of heart in the bathroom, and he would step out of that shower as a new man. You certainly hoped so as he came back out from his en-suite, hitting the lamp on his bedside table before getting into bed next to you. 

Joel was quick to wrap you in an embrace, clearly eager for a bit of cuddling before the two of you went to sleep. He buried his nose into your shoulder, letting out a soft sigh as he melted into you like so many times before. Even when you were feeling suspicious of him, you couldn’t deny how feeling him slot against you like a puzzle piece always made your heart flutter.

But you couldn’t get distracted now. Based on how Joel’s breaths were beginning to slow down next to you, your window of time for getting an answer about his late-night whereabouts was quickly shrinking. 

“Honey?” you began, reaching up to thread your fingers through the hand he was currently laying on you. 

“Mhm,” he replied groggily, clearly quite sleepy after being up this late, doing whatever it was that he was doing. 

“Is there anything you wanna tell me?” you asked deceptively softly, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand.

“No,” there was an alertness in his tone as he responded far too quickly for your liking. Your question clearly caught him off guard and pulled him away from a sleep that had been rapidly grasping at him.

You were no idiot. Joel obviously knew what you were onto, but wanted to play dumb. Fine. That was totally fine. You could give him a hint, and maybe, just maybe, he would be honest with you. 

“Not even why you were really out this late?” you pressed, your voice artificially sweet. 

Unlike your previous question, this one gave him a bit of pause. You and Joel both knew he needed to consider his next words very carefully. 

“No,” he said once more after he seemed to have collected his thoughts.

“Okay,” you simply acknowledged, allowing Joel to snuggle back into your back as if he hadn’t said anything wrong at all. After a beat, you dropped his hand, then you shifted away from Joel just the slightest bit. He readjusted himself, inching himself closer to you to compensate for the loss of skin-on-skin contact between the two of you. You moved yourself away once more, and Joel once again followed, seemingly not getting the message in his half-asleep state. 

As you scooted away, the soft simmer of your frustration began to turn into what was more of a rolling boil of anger. Joel had the audacity to lie to you after you had given him not one, but two opportunities to tell you the truth, then proceed to cuddle up to you like nothing happened after you repeatedly moved away. That anger led you to abruptly pop out of bed, your breathing picking up as your body and mind prepared you for the argument that was sure to ensue. 

“What’re you doing?” Joel asked groggily, clearly half-asleep once again. 

“Leaving,” you replied brusquely, grabbing two pillows from your side of the bed and beginning to tug away the blanket folded up at the foot of Joel’s bed. 

“What?” he questioned, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he watched a very angry you snatch away the blanket at his feet. 

“Goodnight, Joel. Let me know if you’re ready to be honest in the morning,” you huffed, not even letting him get a word in as you left the room. 

You spent the night curled up in Joel’s living room loveseat, grateful that both of your children were leaving for the weekend in the morning and wouldn’t have to face the fallout of whatever the fuck was going on between the two of you. 

It was almost jarring how much this night was reminding you of how you felt in your previous relationship, so much so that when you dreamt of the chaos that was your past, you weren’t too surprised. Although, you were quite drained. 

In the morning, your back was killing you almost as much as your brain was. You hated being mad at Joel, but you put on a brave face as you got both Sarah and Chloe out the door, playing off your rough night on the couch as a mild bout of insomnia. 

By the time that it was just you and Joel alone, you had already proven by your cold shoulder and silent treatment that you were completely uninterested in interacting with your partner at the moment. You were rightfully pissed. You were pissed as you scrambled eggs (making sure to get a bit of eggshell in Joel’s batch), and you were pissed as you sat down at the table with a warm mug of coffee in hand. 

Joel called your name, catching your attention, but not urging you to look up or even really acknowledge his existence in any meaningful way. “I don’t want to fight,” he pleaded with you. 

“Good thing we’re not fighting,” you replied, looking back down at your phone as you sipped your coffee—a drink that tasted as bitter as you were feeling. 

“But you’re angry at me,” he reasoned, making a beeline from the kitchen to the table. 

“Mmm,” you hummed neutrally, not explicitly agreeing or disagreeing, but acknowledging that he spoke. 

“How can I fix this?” he asked, settling down in the seat next to you and attempting to lower the device in his hands so you could focus on him. He said your name softly then repeated, “How can I fix this?” with a sense of genuineness that made you want to forget you were ever mad in the first place. 

“You can tell me what you’ve been doing that makes you come back home at four in the morning,” you parroted his tone in an almost mocking way. Sure, it was a little mean, but you were beyond frustrated. Joel had accidentally played into one of your biggest insecurities in a relationship, and he didn’t even get why you were so upset. 

Joel sighed and looked away, shaking his head just the slightest bit to himself. He hesitated before beginning again, almost as if he wanted to explain himself but couldn’t. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m leaving,” you announced, standing up. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“Hey, don’t go,” he practically begged. “Please.”

The desperation in his voice nearly made you reconsider putting your foot down. Knowing how he was sensitive around people leaving and hearing his plea for you to stay almost had you turning around and pulling him into a tight embrace. One that would tell him I promise not going anywhere. But you needed to be strong. You couldn’t just let yourself be mistreated because you loved someone. 

“I’ll come back when you’re ready to be honest with me,” you explained, striking a balance between affirming that you would be back, but being clear that you would only do so under the conditions of trust. “I don’t really think that’s much to ask for.”

“I love you,” he attempted, grabbing the tips of your fingers as you walked away from the kitchen table. 

As much as you wanted to be petty in the moment and not say anything in response, you understood that Joel had some pretty deep seeded issues with abandonment, and that usurped any petty bone in your body. Maybe you’d feel good from the power trip of making him feel exactly what you’d been feeling—and even then, you’d probably feel guilty immediately after—but at the end of the day, he was still your boyfriend, and his only real crime was telling a little white lie. 

“I love you too,” you said earnestly, truly meaning it regardless of how upset you were. “I’ll see you soon.”

You could practically feel the big brown puppy dog eyes boring into your back as you walked off, but you willed yourself to leave anyway. 

“Wait,” he called out the moment your hand met the doorknob. “I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing. But I’d rather show you than tell you.”

Your interest was thoroughly piqued, and you turned around to look at the man who—like you predicted—directed his mournful puppy dog eyes at you. 

“You’re well within your right to leave. In fact, it’s probably for the best for both of us that you go. Just… Just meet me at the Tipsy Bison tonight at ten, and I swear I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

Well, you weren’t going to say no to that, but you did put on a bit of a show as you contemplated telling him if you would or not. “Okay,” you simply agreed, leaving the door swinging behind you. 

Although you played coy before, you were anxious with anticipation of what it was Joel had kept such a secret as the day passed you by. You also found your home to be extremely boring without your child’s endless commentary to keep you occupied or without having Joel by your side to spice up even the most mundane tasks. 

It felt like the span of the day was lasting years as you waited for the clock to approach ten. And as you got ready to head out to the bar, you felt that time somehow found a way to become even slower. 

Regardless of the timeframe Joel gave you and the fact that time seemed to be moving extra slow, you made it a point to arrive at the quaint bar just fashionably late, showing yourself into the bustling building and somehow managing to find an unoccupied booth. 

As expected, it didn’t take you too long to find Joel, his silhouette and body language easy for you to pick out even in the crowded sea of people. Your lips involuntarily quirked up into a smile as you watched Joel grab a drink from the bartender, and your eyes followed the man as he walked away.

Just as quick as your smile came, it dropped, bringing your stomach right along with it as Joel approached a woman. Joel smiled nervously at this mystery woman and she flipped her hair before setting a hand on his back and seemingly ushering him somewhere else. You swore that your heart skipped a beat in the worst way possible. 

There it was. Just like you feared.

So that’s what Joel invited you to see. He wanted to get you right up and personal to watch him have an affair. 

That angry, insecure part of yourself reared its head once more, as you were briefly overcome with a perverse pride that you’d at least correctly guessed that the deception was occurring. But more than anything, you just felt empty inside. Maybe this whole relationship thing just wasn’t for you. 

You needed a drink. 

Once he was gone, you sighed aloud. Was there something fundamentally wrong with you that made every single significant other in your life unsatisfied with you? You looked down at the sticky wood table as you pondered this question, with nothing more than people talking as background noise to your inner turmoil. 

Wait, what kind of bar had no music? You were starting to become more than a little agitated with your whole situation. You were sure your frustration with the bar was more of misplaced anger than anything else, but it felt good to scoff at this stupid little establishment where you found out that your stupid little relationship was ruined. 

Just as you began to pull yourself out of your pity party, and thus out of the booth, you were approached by a mildly frazzled-looking bartender. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, that man over there sent you a drink,” they informed you, gesturing over to a stage (since when did that exist?!) where Joel was setting up a microphone(?!) with the help of that woman from before. Now that you were getting a better look at her, her name tag and lanyard clearly indicated that she was nothing more than staff. 

“Oh, uh, thank you,” you were caught a little off guard by it all; by Joel sending you a drink, by him looking like he was getting ready to perform something for this crowded bar, and by your insecurity ever letting you believe that your Joel, who begged and gave you puppy eyes for you not to leave that very morning, would ever cheat on you. 

Despite your eyes never leaving that stage, the sound of light microphone feedback made you focus a little more on your boyfriend as Joel got settled into an uncomfortable looking stool and began to balance the base of his guitar on his thigh. 

“How’s everyone doing tonight?” he asked as he adjusted the microphone, getting a sort of flat cheer, but a solid whoop from you. No matter how confused you were, you could always be counted on to be a supportive partner. “Good to see some old faces, and some new ones,” you could’ve sworn he looked in your direction when he said that. 

Is this what he’s been up to this entire time? Obviously, he’d been at this bar before, but you wondered if there were others. 

“My name’s Joel, and I’ll be playing some tunes for you tonight. I’ll be taking requests all night—except for requests to get off the stage,” he joked, receiving a little chuckle from the crowd who were clearly just ready to start having music playing again. Getting the memo, Joel began to strum his instrument before heading straight into a song. 

You were pleasantly surprised; you didn’t really know what you expected coming into the bar tonight, but you certainly hadn’t expected to hear Joel performing live in front of a somewhat substantial audience. 

You polished off your drink before moving a little closer to the stage. Based on the way Joel acted when you, Chloe, or Sarah even suggested that he play something for you, you knew that it was taking a lot for him to be up on that stage. You weren’t going to let him stay up there without seeing how great of a job he was doing. 

People swayed and danced along to his covers—the songs just happening to be music you were familiar with through your duets (and occasionally quartets) in the car, or through karaoke nights—but you wormed your way up to the front and grinned at Joel as he sang, his eyes occasionally meeting yours and brightening up with every glance. 

Finally, it seemed like his set was beginning to wrap up. In your opinion, his little concert could have gone on far longer, but you understood that all good things had to come to an end.

“This last song is dedicated to my lovely partner and our amazing kids,” a soft aww could be heard in the bar as he delved right into the next and final song, a song that the two of you were quite familiar with. You had great memories of that song coming on your record player while you washed the dishes, making you drop whatever it was you were doing and dance in the kitchen, a slow but soft sway. More recently, you had convinced Joel to take a bath with you, during which this song played, and he confessed how it always made him think of you. 

Now that you really thought about it, it really was your song, and you felt like your heart was alight as you watched Joel play it, as he looked right at you, an unconcealable smile plastered on his face.

With the song finally wrapped up, and a solid roar of applause once Joel was done, you made it your first priority to find your partner once he finished tearing down his set. 

Joel wasn’t very difficult to locate—he stood back at the bar as a few people came up to him to tell him how great of a job he’d done. You patiently waited for Joel to receive all of his rightfully earned praise before you finally sent him a drink of your own, winking at him once the bartender passed on the message. 

He was quick to come over to you, taking a seat right next to you and smiling at you fondly, still so sickeningly in love despite the argument you’d had with him earlier in the day. 

“Hi, handsome,” you greeted, setting a palm on his thigh. “You were great up there,” you gushed, genuinely very impressed with how great his performance was. You knew he was good, but he had clearly become more confident playing in front of others, and it showed in the amazing show he put on that night. 

“Really? You liked it?” Joel practically lit up, seemingly not expecting you to have enjoyed the show that much. 

“Of course I liked it, you dork. Do you not hear me when I tell you how good you are?” by now your negative feelings had mostly dissipated, leaving you comfortable enough to laugh a little as you spoke.

“Well, you’re required to tell me that I’m good. And you’re biased,” he argued. 

“Whatever,” you giggled, stealing a sip of the drink you’d ordered for Joel. “So is this what you’ve been acting all suspicious over?” The question was more rhetorical than anything else, but it would be nice to hear his actual confession. 

“Yeah, I’ve been going to a few open mics around the city for the past month or so” he confessed, looking mildly uncomfortable. “I should’ve just told you. It wasn’t worth nearly sabotaging our entire relationship because I was a little embarrassed.”

“No, it wasn’t,” you agreed, bumping your knee against his. “You know, I was starting to think you were having an affair or something-“

“Christ, I would never- Should I be offended? Do you not trust me?” Joel interrupted, clearly a little distressed by you thinking that he would ever put you through something like that. 

“I do trust you, but you would start feeling a little suspicious too if I randomly started acting the way you’ve been acting… Coming home late, making weird excuses that are obviously lies, refusing to be straightforward…” you trailed off, hoping Joel would get the idea. 

“Fine, you’re right,” he conceded. “I’m sorry I acted like that. I should’ve known better after everything you’ve been through,” he apologized, setting a hand on your arm. His apology was clearly accepted by you. If anything, you were more relieved that your relationship was preserved than you were annoyed by his little secret. 

“It’s alright. You just have to promise me that you’ll invite me to every show you have from now on. And maybe occasionally practice in front of our kids and I too,” you suggested, happy to throw in your own little terms and conditions. 

“You know, a few weeks ago, I probably would’ve said no to both of those things,” he began, looking off a little wistfully. 

“But open mics have changed you for the better?” you finished his sentence, knowing him well enough to figure you knew the direction of his sentence.

“I guess so,” he agreed with a hum. 

“That’s cute,” you commented, being completely truthful with your words. You were glad that Joel had been able to discover a hobby that he enjoyed, and one that had seemingly been helping out with his confidence. 

“You’re cute,” Joel countered, reaching up to cup your cheek in his hand as if he were demonstrating his point.

“You know what’s cuter?” you proposed.

“Hmm?”

“That face you make when you get really focused on hitting the right note,” you replied with a smirk, knowing that regardless of how confident his new hobby was making him, he still squirmed when being complimented.

“Oh, please stop,” he blushed, covering his face in embarrassment as you praised him. 

“Oh no, get used to it. From here on out, I’m gonna be sitting at the front row of every single one of your shows, and giving you play-by-plays of when you look cutest during your sets,” you teased.

“You know what? That might be something I can get used to.”

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

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1. Hi could you please suggest some

A) Omega Wei wuxian alpha lwj fanfics?

B) And fox wwx dragon lwj with good plot too @lostsoul234

1A)

A/B/O Comp

🧡 shoot your shot -- hot or knot by defractum (nyargles) (E, 51k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Reality Show, Hunger Games Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Extremely Dubious Consent, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Additional Warnings In Author's Notes) (link in #6) would probably work?

B)

@archeaologies said: re your latest 'im in the mood for' post, 1b (foxxian and dragonji fics): ive been slowly putting together a massive rec list on my sideblog (@lansyuan) of exactly this au - its currently sat in my drafts but if op wants to pm me on my sideblog then i can link them all the fics ive collected so far! 🥰

Shape-shifter AU Comp

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2. I was wondering if yall wouldn't mind reccing any favorite Chengxian canon Era fics? @dragonfairies

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3. Itmf for wangxian post canon where WWX is threatened to sacrifice himself for LWJ. It can be any case fiction with an interesting villain making their life hard. @paraffin22

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4. Hello, thank you for all your wonderful recommendations! Itmf LXC takes care of WWX

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5. Itmf omega WWX presenting for lwj

#2 in this fic finder might have a few you would enjoy

~*~

6. Itmf wangxian survival fics, like wilderness or cold, etc

and from our own/live to ourselves by betweentheheavesofstorm (M, 105k, wangxian, modern, fantasy, reality tv, angst w/ happy ending, survival, blood & gore, self-harm, animal death, slow burn) this might count?

🧡 shoot your shot -- hot or knot by defractum (nyargles) (E, 51k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Reality Show, Hunger Games Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Extremely Dubious Consent, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Additional Warnings In Author's Notes) would probably work?

The Edge of Night by Hobbsy3 (M, 277k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, Zombie Apocalypse, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Accidental Baby Acquisition During a Zombie Apocalypse, Junior Quartet, (except they’re all babies), Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Ensemble Cast, Worst Zombie Fighting Team Ever, Found Family)

In The Dark Right Now by phnelt (T, 10k, wangxian, JC & LWJ, WWX & JC, graphic depictions of injuries, trapped in a cave, Near Death Experience, fatalistic thinking, established wangxian, Family Feels, mention of unnamed illness of an offscreen character, Nobody dies in this fic, Modern Setting, JC and WWX are caved in and LWJ talks to them through the radio, Hurt/Comfort)

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7. itmf (self indulgent) wwx appreciation fic. have a good day.

Simping over WWX is my fave hobby Series by brrrrrRawr (T, 10k, WangXian, WWX's original body, Fluff, Pet Name,s Blushing, No Smut, Genius WWX, yunmeng bros reconciliation, endgame lotus pier, big bro wwx rights, also dad wwx rights, BAMF WWX, Bad Writing, Body Dysphoria So OOC, world building, cliff diving, corpse wrestling, OOC, Canon Divergence, god WWX, god WN, god WQ, child JL, teenager MXY, xuanli get resurrected, rip nmj tho, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, BAMF WWX, BAMF WN, BAMF WQ)

~*~

8. papa-zhan fics please! a-yuan/sizhui calling him dad, a-die, baba, whatever. canon world or modern anything, just some baba lan wangji softness.

🧡 Yiling Salon: Hair, Nails and Piercing by TriviasFolly (T, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, hairstylist AU, WWX owns a salon, Hairstylist WWX, 5+1 Things, Fluff, Experimental Style)

🧡 paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 53k, WangXian, Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Everyone Is Alive, Modern AU, Dadji, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Brief Alcohol Mention, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Accidentally co-parenting with your son's art teacher, Fatherhood)

When You Wake, 怎能当梦一场 by acertainrogue (T, 39k, WangXian, WWX is in a coma, Angst with a Happy Ending, Modern AU, Single Dad LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Parenthood, YZY's A+ Parenting, JFM's A+ parenting, wangxian family) mind the tags pls

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9. hello! it is me that animal-whisperer lwj fic anon! thank you for recommending that, it was such a good read..

would it be fine to ask more of that kind? i cannot seem to get enough of that trope.

🧡 A Study in Fluff by WeaverOfTheNight (T, 29k, WangXian, Modern AU, Ghost bunnies, Vet LWJ, Architect WWX, Kid LSZ, Domestic fluff, Modern with Magic)

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10. This is more of a recommendation ask, does anyone know of any good canon compliant post last chapter fics? basically just more of lwj and wwx and the juniors etc just living their lives like the iron hook extra in the novels? Basically just any very canon post story stories people made i can’t get over the last chapter it was so cute with the lotuses and tipped boat help Sorry if that doesn’t really make sense THABK YOU TUMBLR!!!!!! @kaleajakic

🔒do not go gentle by RoseThorne (G, 684, WN & WQ, WN & WWX, LSZ & WQ, Canonical Character Death, Spirits, Ghosts, LWJ Plays Inquiry, Song: Inquiry, Protectiveness, Grief/Mourning, Love, Acceptance, Family, Angst, Post-Canon, POV Third Person, POV WN)

A More Practical Approach by Elhana (T,9k, WangXian, Canon Compliant Teacher WWX, Humour, POV Multiple, Implied Sexual Content, WWX is resourceful, wuxia magic shenanigans, Based on a Tumblr Post, Post-Canon)

It takes courage to pet a dog. by nenufares (T, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, a bit of canon-typical violence, past animal abandonment, Dogs, Fluff and Humor, Mild Hurt/Comfort) I'm not sure if they really count but they are post canon and I enjoyed reading them!

~*~

11. itmf fic where wwx is cultivating the ghostly path like in the novel. i'd like recs for a cultivation that's more a compassion/empathy-based collaboration that results in the liberation of the resentful dead not an antihero necromancer forcing the dead to do his will for the greater good. thanks ❤️🩵

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 91k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days)

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 74k, wangxian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP)

Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)  

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12. Hi! I was just wondering if you have any good, longer fluff pieces. They can have plot, but in general everyone is happy and no one gets hurt (unless it’s jgs). I know canon makes it a bit more difficult, but if you have any recs, that would be great! I’m just looking for fluff, humor, and plot

Thank you!

how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) by bwyn, Yuisaki (T, 54k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Actors, Multimedia, Online Friendship, Drunken Shenanigans, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Underage Drinking, Drinking Games, Families of Choice, Ensemble Cast, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Catfish AU) there's a bit of angst here

Meet Me Friday At Seven by craftyTrickster (luoxiaobai) (E, 128k, wangxian, modern, Fluff, Meet-Cute, Friends to Lovers, Blind Date, lots of texting, almost a chat fic, WC and WLJ aren’t evil but they are annoying, Kissing, Masturbation, Anal Sex, romantic sex, Bi WWX, bi nhs, Single Parent WWX, Slow Burn, Unreliable Narrator) just pure fluff

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13. Hi! I am looking for canon-divergent fics where people think WWX dies but he actually doesn’t? I then want a big reveal when people realize he is still alive/never actually died. Thank you so much!

ahhh I just sent in an itmf ask about WWX dying but not really? I meant to specify that I want him to be "dead" for a long period of time, not just a brief gimmick. Long enough that people mourn him or move on, and then he comes back years later like in canon. Thanks, and sorry for not putting this in the first ask!

🔒Brotherhood by LtLJ (G, 10k, JC & WWX, CQL canon, Canon Divergence, Yunmeng Brothers Reconciliation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, breaks from canon during the time skip, YLLZ WWX)

WWX and JYL run away by shanastoryteller (WangXian, XuanLi, JYL and JZX lives, JYL and WWX raise JL and LSZ, Fake Character Death)

Something From Nothing by sami (E, 55k, WangXian, XianLi, Minor QingLi, XiCheng, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Character Resurrection, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Assassin's Creed Fusion, Kinda, Assassin's Creed Vibes, Wangxian is endgame, Slow Burn, specifically for wangxian, no infidelity, no partner betrayal, Angst with a Happy Ending) This has canon divergence and wwx being dead long enough for people to move on plus hey he's alive reveal but not exactly the way requester described

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14. hii! I'm sorry to bother you! i was hoping you could rec me some dark lwj, or dark gusu lan fics? them being more manipulative or possessive? thank you so much in advance<3

A Matter of Time by mrcformoso (M, 40k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, graphic depictions of violence, underage, LWJ pov, JC pov, dark LWJ, manipulation, grooming, teen body adult mind for LWJ, happy ending for wangxian, problematic consensual underage sex, blood & violence, insane LWJ, manic LWJ)

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15. hello!!! hehe would just like to ask if you have any fics where lsz is referenced as the lan heir? thank you! 💕

anyway, here's wuji by kakikaeru (T, 18k, ZhuiYi, WangXian, LingZhen, Post-Canon)

❤️ A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (M, 12k, zhuiling, wangxian, arranged marriage, combs, courting, awkward teenagers, teenage drama, humor, feelings, fluff)

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16. Heyy ! I am in the mood for your favourite nightmares fic (Wangxian if possible). Thxx ! @sebyyw

#FreePalestine | hold me close by gentil-minou (Flyingsuits) (E, 13k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Porn with Feelings, Emotional Sex, Grief, Mental Health Issues, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, tender husbands being tender, Character Study, Masturbation, Oral Sex ,Anal Sex, Working Through Grief With Sex, Grieving Your Husband While Fucking Him, Depressed LWJ) I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for but lwj has a nightmare in one scene in my fic here

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, wangxian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort)

Feathers On My Breath by Sweetlittlevampire (T, 3k, wangxian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Teen Crush, Pre-Relationship, Panic Attacks, LWJ Has A Panic Attack, Nightmare, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Past Character Death, Mentions of Dying Linked To The Panic Attack, Sharing a Bed)

a needle, a whisper, an insidious dream by pale_and_tragic (M, 19k, wangxian, WWX & WQ & LWJ, post-canon, fix-it of sorts, case fic, horror elements, nightmares, hallucinations, pining, hurt LWJ, aroace WQ, platonic relationships, suicidal thoughts, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, sleeping beauty)

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17. Me again, back to pester you all w/ an ITMF ask! Thank you so much for all you do! I have read (and re-read) An Elegant Solution and also Things to Do with a Flute During Wartime, and they have put me in the mood for NMJ-centric stories where he is a fully robust, complex, interesting character. Any ship is okay, and modern AUs welcome, but pref. no MCD. &lt;;3 @kimboo-york

🔒 Audience of One by WinterDreams (T, 181k, XiCheng, WangXian, XuanLi, mentioned SongXiao, implied MingYao, Modern AU, Celebrities, Inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Singer LXC, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Swearing, Slow Burn, Family Feels, Family Bonding, childhood crushes, past emotional abuse, Post-Betrayal, Venerated Triad Feels, Yunmeng Duo Feels, Nightmares, Fluff and Angst, hand holding, Babysitter Ā-Qìng, Domestic Fluff, Soft XiCheng, Eventual Happy Ending)

🔒 shades of grey spill from my veins (bleeding ink all over the page) by Reverie (cl410) (M, 58k, LXC/NMJ, wangxian, NHS/WN, POV NMJ, Canon Divergence, WWX raised by the Nie Sec, Mentions of WWX's life on the streets, Hurt/Comfort, Accidental Sibling Acquisition, Single Dad NMJ, NHS & WWX Friendship, Fluff, Humor, Happy Ending, Everyone Lives AU, Protective NMJ, a plot showed up, Sunshot Campaign, Some angst, Blood and Injury, Kidnapping, Protective Siblings, Found Family) more canon

found in translation by sysrae (E, 12k, LXC/NMJ, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, my extremely justified hatred of LQR, Meddling brothers, Coming Out, Loss of Virginity, Under-negotiated Kink, slight breathplay, Light Dom/sub, Aftercare, Angst with a Happy Ending) a modern AU

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[lemon-natalia]

Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 50

thirty minutes before the Emperor’s murder and i still have no idea who’s gonna do it or why

Commander Wake. the commander who is Gideon's mother. who is Awake, the Sleeper. Who is in Cytherea’s dead body. Cytherea being the one Gideon had a crush on. WHO IS BEING POSSESSED BY GIDEON’S DEAD MOTHER. WHO IS THE BOE LEADER, COMMANDER WAKE. i’m fucking speechless what is this

also she’s calling the Emperor ‘Gaius’, do they fucking know each other??

omfg her full name includes ‘Snap me back to reality oops there goes Gravity’ wtf. weirdly i feel like thats such a Gideon (Nav) name to have, except she’s taking it so seriously 

‘did the ten billion give you that too.’ ‘how many babies died in the bomb Gaius’ oh this guy really did cause the apocalypse somehow didn’t he, fuuuck

scratch the others, this is the most tense tea party there’s been so far

‘it’s all come out’ what in the world’s most dramatic intervention is this

COMMANDER WAKE ME UP INSIDE 

both Mercymorn and Augustine were conspiring with the BoE?? i didn’t see that coming, especially not Mercymorn

the eggs from the first message weren’t a metaphor????? they were literal goddamn eggs wtf

she was gonna kill said baby in order to enter the Locked Tomb, and nicknamed it the ‘Bomb’. um wow. why is everyone’s immediate plan in these books to jump straight to the baby murder. 

GIDEON (1.0) JUST KILLED HER?? again? can you even say you killed a ghost. what. what. i thought they were a thing what is going on. Gideon just saw her mother for the very first time in her life, talking about how she was planning to murder Gid as a baby, possessing the body of someone she had a crush on who also tried to kill her, get murdered. oh she’s gonna need so much counselling after this. 

speaking of, how the fuck did the relationship between Gideon 1.0 and Wake start, that feels very complicated 

and he thought the baby was his. key word being thought. not was. then who the fuck is the baby daddy. this whole shebang would make for a very entertaining episode of Dr Phil. or whatever tv shows it is that do dna tests, i don’t watch a lot of reality tv

i really didn’t think a conception story could get more fucked up than Harrow’s, but Gideon’s giving her a very strong run for her money

‘Hi, not fucking dead. I’m Dad’ YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOU HAVE A SECRET BABY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS. its been about a minute and he’s already cracking dad jokes. is making bad puns genetic in the Locked Tomb world or something, because that would say a lot about Gideon quite frankly 

i cannot believe the fact that these guys were in a threesome has been plot relevant two times over now

also Gideon is the fucking. daughter of the GOD of this world i guess. well there’s an explanation for why she’s so resistant to not dying then. if he wasn’t super dead, i think Silas’s reaction to this info would be so fucking funny

also. given Ianthe presumably doesn’t know about any of the details of Gideon’s birth, childhood, etc. she’s gotta be even more confused than Gideon right now

also also remember when i had that dream about the Locked Tomb? my subconscious is a prophet, apparently:

[yuujispinkhair]

To the end (Chapter 2)

The end of the world as you knew it began with the virus spreading in your dorm. Six months later, you are once again on the run. By your side is Sukuna, the bad boy of your camp, the most unlikely companion you expected. But maybe this is exactly as it should be because sometimes hope comes in the form of a smug smirk and a tattooed pair of sword-yielding arms.

Masterpost ++ Chapter 1

Pairing: Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Zombie Apocalypse AU, horror, smut and some fluff Playlist: Zombie Apocalypse Word Count: 6k Warnings: 18+, violence, gore, angst, smut, rough sex, cum-eating, squirting, zombies, fighting, knives, blood, mentions of several side characters' deaths, alcohol, cigarettes, suicidal thoughts. This AU is based on The Walking Dead, so imagine a world like this. It's cruel and hopeless at times, but there is also a love story :) All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.

You wake up with a start. You don't know where you are, and your body reacts instinctively, making you jump out of bed, ready to flee or fight or do both. But you only get a few steps before you run into a solid chest and hear an amused laugh.

"Easy there, princess. Don't knock yourself out."

You blink up at the owner of that chest. And finally, your mind catches up with what is going on. The zombie attack last night. Your unexpected savior. His katana cutting through undead bodies as he slayed through them with all his anger and strength. Pink hair and red and black blood.

Sukuna.

You take a step back, feeling relieved and intimidated at the same time. Sunlight is streaming in through the small window of the hut, mercilessly showing all the reminders of last night's fight on your new companion's skin and clothes.

He still looks as gory as last night, with all the dried blood and dirt splattered all over his face and clothes. The tank top he's wearing looks stiff from all the filth. 

Unbidden, a memory comes to your mind. You overheard several women in the camp say that Sukuna only wears that tank top because it shows off his muscular arms and pecs. They always giggled when saying it, their eyes traveling across the camp to where Sukuna was standing, letting their hungry gazes trail shamelessly over his body.

Your lip twitches.

You know that Sukuna had a certain reputation in your camp. The bad boy, with a short temper and an intimidating aura, but who is also a big flirt. He is a guy who knows how hot he is and enjoys using this to his advantage.

At least three girls in your camp claimed to have slept with Sukuna, and at one point, two of them got into a dramatic argument because they were jealous of each other. They fought over him while Sukuna leaned back in his camping chair and watched them with an amused smirk on his handsome face, enjoying the show way too much. In the end, they both screamed at him to pick his fave, and he just shook his head and told them he didn't do favorites.

If you're honest, it had been quite entertaining. Like watching some trashy reality tv-show. A little normality in the middle of the apocalypse.

Right now, the muscular arms in question are filthy with dried blood, and the stench of death and decay clings to them. But you know that you aren't in any better state. Your clothes feel disgusting where they cling to your skin, sticky with gore and sweat. And you don't even want to know what your hair and skin must look like after all the blood raining down on you last night.

There's a change of clothes in your backpack, but it would be a waste to change into them while you are still so dirty yourself.

Sukuna seems to think the same thing because he informs you:

"Now that you're awake, we can go check in which direction the creek is. I think we shouldn't be too far away. Are you ok to go?"

You nod and try a small smile, though you are sure it fails miserably. Your muscles are sore from the fighting and running last night, and the emotional fatigue is even worse.

Your friend comes to your mind again. Over and over, the same horrible image of her body getting buried under the zombies. Their hands and teeth tearing at her flesh. You feel bile rising in your throat and have to press a hand over your mouth.

Sukuna lifts an eyebrow, giving you a skeptical look before he clicks his tongue.

"Look, since you and I are in this together now, I have some rules, and the first rule is that you don't lie to me. So I'm asking you again, are you ok?"

"I...yeah...I..."

He rolls his eyes dramatically, crossing his muscular arms in front of his chest and looking down at you with a mocking expression on his face.

"Oooh, how convincing. Try again."

His tone is too mocking, his gaze too infuriatingly smug. Something in you snaps. All the anger and frustration and fear you bottled up explodes out of you as you glare at him and spit out angrily:

"Of course, I'm not ok! Are you ok? I don't think so! No one in this world is ok! I am tired of all this fighting. I lost my friend last night! I have no idea what to do or where to go. How am I supposed to be ok? But I am thirsty and covered in dirt and blood and other disgusting things, and I just want to get clean and drink something and maybe feel a tiny bit more comfortable! So can we please go find that creek?! If I have a breakdown on the way, just leave me there to die! I won't be a burden to you!"

Your eyes meet a pair of amused maroon ones. The owner of those eyes grins at you with that typical rude smirk, and his tongue is sticking out between his teeth, making him look so inappropriate somehow. Sukuna always has such an infuriating way of looking at people! It drives you up the wall!

His eyes sparkle when he cocks his head and tells you in an overly fake sweet voice:

"Aww, see, that's the truth. I knew you could do it. Wasn't that hard, was it? So, from now on, you will always be this honest with me, ok?"

You glare at him. Asshole! But his smug smirk grows even wider.

"And the second rule is that you always do as I tell you. Now follow me, brat."

You can't stop yourself from muttering under your breath, "The only brat here is you."

Sukuna's gaze snaps to yours, his eyes fixing you with an unreadable expression. For a second, you are sure you have gone too far, but then Sukuna laughs.

"If being a brat keeps me alive in this fucked up world, then I think it's a good thing. Maybe being a bit fucked up myself helps."

He straps his katana across his back before leaning down to grab your backpack and shoving it against your chest.

"Get whatever you need for a little excursion."

Sukuna pushes the heavy cupboard away from the door as if it weighs nothing, making you think that, as insufferable as he is, he was probably the best person you could run into last night.

He and his brother always were the strongest in your camp. The Itadori twins who chopped more wood in an hour than anyone else. They taught others how to fight and were always the first ones in line when an attack happened.

The difference is that Yuuji is friendly and all smiles and warm words, helpful and ready to sacrifice himself for others in a heartbeat. A hero straight out of a fairytale. The knight in shining armor.

Sukuna, on the other hand, is a bit of an asshole. Arrogant, rude, and ready to fight anyone over petty stuff. Allergic to people telling him what to do. Infamous for his snide remarks.

He once dragged two teenagers who had tried to sneak away back to the camp and snapped at them that he wouldn't die for idiots like them and that if he ever catches them again doing stuff that puts everyone else in danger, he would make sure to feed them to the zombies himself. Everyone in your camp had believed him.

So if Yuuji is the hero, then Sukuna is probably the anti-hero.

You would feel more comfortable with Yuuji here, but you know you shouldn't be complaining about getting the wrong twin. After all, Sukuna is the one who saved your life last night. And if you want to keep living for a while longer, he is your best bet.

And so you quickly put on your backpack, grab your knife, and follow your new zombie apocalypse partner out of the hut and into the forest.

Sukuna is good at this, you realize.

It's the first time you have joined him on an excursion. You always assumed he was just good at fighting. A strong, tall guy who used to be the star player of some sport team in college and now is valuable to the camp because of his brute strength and ability to fight.

But to your surprise, he is also adept at navigating expertly through the forest.

When he catches you watching him, he answers your questioning looks with a short explanation about how to use nature's clues for navigation. He points out markings on the tree barks and tells you what to learn from animal tracks on the ground.

"And all that tells me that the creek should be in this direction."

You follow him, genuinely impressed by his skills.

"So, did you learn all that after the virus, or did you know it before?"

"I knew it before. My grandpa used to take my brother and me hiking and camping almost every weekend when we were kids. Explained all kinds of survival stuff to us. He said those are the truly important things a man needs to know. I guess he was right after all."

Sukuna laughs softly, sounding a lot less intimidating than he usually does to you. His maroon eyes light up when you look at him, and a smile blooms on his face, making him look weirdly pretty despite the blood on his face.

He points a long finger towards a small opening between the trees, and when you follow his gaze, you see something glittering in the distance. Sunlight reflecting on water, you realize.

You smile too, feeling some tension leave your body at the prospect of being able to clean up and get something to drink.

"You did it, Sukuna!"

The rest of the walk goes by without any disturbances. Finally, you reach the small creek and fill your water bottles and wash your faces and arms.

Sukuna shoves the last water bottle into his backpack and jerks his chin in the direction the water flows.

"I want to follow it downhill. Maybe there's a pond down there where we can bath."

He is right. In the nearby valley lies a small pond. The water is peaceful and clear, undisturbed by any undead creatures.

You want to inquire who should get into the water first, but when you turn to Sukuna, he is already grabbing the hem of his filthy tank top and pulling it over his head. It happens so fast that you don't even have time to process what he's doing. You blink at his naked torso, the defined muscles of his pecs and abs, the black tattoed lines inked into his tan skin.

Your mind is barely processing this when Sukuna's long fingers are already wandering to his belt and undoing it before they proceed to open the button and zipper of his black jeans.

You are still staring at him speechlessly when his fingers hook in the hem of his jeans and the black boxer briefs he's wearing underneath and start to push them down.

That's when you finally get out of your momentary daze, and a strangled sound escapes your mouth. You quickly look away, pressing your hands in front of your eyes as you feel your face get hot.

"Hey! What are you doing!?"

Sukuna's low voice sounds amused when he says:

"Aww, do I make you nervous, princess? This is literally the end of the world, and you think I lack decency when I want to get out of my filthy clothes? Just turn around if seeing a naked guy bothers you so much. You are missing out, though."

You roll your eyes at his teasing comment but turn around so your back is to him, heart beating up to your throat.

He is right. There is no need to be so flustered about this. It's no big deal. You are trying to survive out here in this crazy apocalyptic world, so a bit of naked skin shouldn't make you spin out of control. And it's not like Sukuna would be the first guy you see nude.

But if you are honest, Sukuna really makes you nervous. He is hot. He looks and acts like one of those popular jocks at your old college. But not like one of the golden boy types or the team captains. Sukuna looks like one of the troublemakers who would have already gotten kicked out of the team if they weren't so damn talented. 

It makes you nervous to be stuck here with someone like him. Especially since he is so confident, bordering on arrogant. He knows the effect he has on people, and he uses it with far too much glee and smugness.

You wait until he announces in that low, lazy drawl that he is decent again.

"Hey, brat! Your turn."

Your gaze lands on a dripping-wet Sukuna who has his back to you and is currently drying his pink hair with a ratty towel. He is far from decent with the way he looks, clad only in a snug pair of black boxer briefs. But at least he's not entirely naked.

You can't stop yourself from checking out the muscles on his back. They ripple enticingly with every movement of Sukuna's strong arms. And then your gaze gets inevitably drawn to his firm ass and muscular thighs.

You gulp hard. You weren't aware that Sukuna also has those black rings tattoed so far up his thighs. They look scandalous, for lack of a better word. Too sexy.

You are relieved when Sukuna finally puts on a pair of cargo pants a moment later and covers up those tempting markings on his skin.

The cargo pants sit low on his hips, though, showing his defined v-line when he turns around. And the new black tank top Sukuna puts on now doesn't do much to hide his athletic figure either. Maybe the girls in the camp were right, and he really likes to wear things that show off his muscles. Idiot.

You school your expression into an unimpressed blank gaze, but Sukuna's eyes sparkle knowingly at you, and the smirk on his pretty face is far too smug. He knows. He knows that you watched him, that your eyes were glued to his gorgeous body just a minute ago.

Sukuna nods towards the pond.

"Hurry up, princess! I won't look, I promise. Tell me when you're finished."

You hurriedly get undressed and walk into the water, scrubbing off all the grime and blood.

It feels good to be clean again, to see your skin unstained by gore. And Sukuna is surprisingly tame and polite, standing with his back to you, keeping watch of your surroundings as you get out of the water and hastily dry yourself with a spare t-shirt before slipping into your clean change of clothes.

"I want to go back to the camp. Maybe my brother went back too and is waiting for me there."

You nod where you are walking next to Sukuna,

"Yeah, that sounds likely. I hope you'll find him there."

But Yuuji isn't in the camp.

No one is there anymore. At least no one with a beating heart. You feel nauseous when you see one of the girls who fought over Sukuna a few weeks ago slowly dragging her feet across the burnt grass, gurgling noises coming out of her mouth, eyes dead and milky.

This is the true horror of this virus. Seeing familiar faces stripped off anything that made them the person they used to be. Just a blank shell. Only driven by the instinct to eat.

And it's not just the ones who got bitten by a zombie. Everyone who dies comes back as these soulless creatures. The dead only stay dead if you destroy their brain.

You watch Sukuna walk over to the zombie who was once a girl he had fun with. His katana stays in its sheath on his back. Instead, Sukuna pulls a short knife out of one of his pant pockets.

His hand tangles in long hair as he pulls the zombie's head back and then rams a knife into the side of its skull. The gurgling noises die, and the fingers trying to claw at Sukuna finally stop their struggle.

It's over.

Sukuna lowers the dead body to the ground in an oddly gentle way. You can see his lips moving, whispering a last farewell, maybe.

His gaze meets yours as he straightens up again. There's a shadow ghosting over his handsome face. He isn't as unaffected by this as you assumed. It's comforting somehow. As ruthless as Sukuna is when slaying the zombies, his heart doesn't seem to be made out of stone after all when it is someone he used to know.

But he recovers quickly and puts the knife away, and finally pulls his katana out of its sheath as he strides over to the makeshift kitchen of your old camp, where a little group of zombies is gathered.

"Search the remaining trailers for food and other useful stuff, brat. I'll take care of the vermin!"

You watch in grim fascination as Sukuna lifts his katana above his head before bringing the blade down on two undead creatures coming towards him, slicing effortlessly through their necks and severing their heads with one powerful move.

As soon as they hit the ground, Sukuna pushes skillfully between the remaining group of zombies. You hear him laugh gleefully as he makes a pinwheel in their midst, beheading four of them with one spin.

He looks so graceful while killing. It should be repulsive, but it isn't, not after all those months. In this crazy world, you can appreciate the strength and elegance Sukuna has. You can openly admire his fighting skills and his talent when it comes to the kill.

An hour later, you are on your way back to the hut. Sukuna got rid of all the remaining zombies in your old camp, and you collected all the food you could find, plus some more knives and clothes.

You fall in step beside Sukuna, walking at a leisurely pace. It feels almost like a stroll in the woods before the world went into chaos. The sun is warm on your back, bathing the forest in a pretty green light. You are clean and in fresh clothes, and your stomach is filled with water and some leftover stew you found in the camp.

For the first time since last night, you feel at ease.

But unfortunately, peace never lasts long in this new world.

You turn left at the next fork in the forest path, and without a prior warning, you step into the middle of a clearing filled with a herd of zombies.

It's a large group, too fast and too many. They probably got drawn here by the sounds of fighting last night.

Sukuna's hand grabs your arm, and he pulls you against his side, head jerking from left to right as he looks for the best escape route. But you can see that there is no escape.

You are already cut off from escaping to the sides.

"Shit! Hold on to me. We have to go back."

But as soon as you turn around to run back to where you came from, you realize with horror that the group got joined by another coming from the other side. And now you are trapped in the middle of a sea of zombies, which is slowly but gradually closing in on you.

Sukuna pulls you with him. Your eyes dart around hectically, searching for a way out. But the zombies are everywhere.

You are clutching your knife, ready to fight, even though you know that there are too many enemies. It's hopeless. 

But then Sukuna tugs sharply on your arm, and you get pushed against a large tree trunk. At least that's what you think for a second, but then you stumble backwards as the tree gives in.

What you thought was a solid trunk is just a curtain of ivy hanging down over a large opening in the tree trunk. A cavity big enough to fit a person inside. Or two.

Sukuna joins you in the narrow space, pressing his tall body against you so both of you can fit inside. He hastily readjusts the curtain of ivy, hiding you away from the zombies. It barely covers the entrance. You can see the walkers rushing by just about a meter away from your hiding space.

Your heart is hammering painfully in your chest. Too close...they are too close! They will find you! You are trapped here with no means to escape!

Your breath is coming too fast, making you dizzy. Your panicked gaze meets Sukuna's.

"Wh..what are you doing?! We can't stay here. They are everywhere!! We have to move on, Sukuna!"

You whisper-scream at him as you try to leap towards the exit in your blind urge to run. But Sukuna's strong hands dart out, pushing you back against the back of the tree trunk and trapping you there with his tall, muscular body. His fingers tighten around your wrists painfully, holding you in an unrelenting grip.

His voice is soft but harsh, 

"Stop it, brat! There is no escape route. This here is our only chance. We have to wait until they have passed through. Shut the fuck up, or they will find us!"

His eyes are burning into yours, pupils blown wide, face uncharacteristically pale. You can feel his chest heaving against you from his heavy breathing. He is terrified too, you realize.

Your wrists throb where Sukuna's fingers pin them to the tree trunk beside your face. Adrenaline is coursing through your veins, making your head spin. His words register, and you feel more panic well up. No escape? You have to stay here? Barely hidden from view in the middle of a whole crowd of the undead?

You don't want to make a sound, but a sob comes unbidden as the gravity of the situation crashes over you. Your body is trembling uncontrollably. Panic is threatening to drown you and make you do something stupid.

"I...Sukuna, please ...I'm ...I'm so scared...help me, please.."

You are sure you will lose your mind and tumble into another panic attack where your stupid body will betray you and make you scream or cry or do something else that will give your hiding place away.

Sukuna's maroon eyes dart from your eyes down to your mouth and back up again, and then right when you are about to break down, his lips crash into yours, muffling your scream with his mouth.

You are too stunned to do anything. Your breath hitches and your eyes widen even further. But Sukuna's mouth presses hard against yours, lips moving over yours in a savage, desperate kiss.

Your vision is filled with a pair of tattoed eyes staring at you from Sukuna's skin. His real eyes are closed, eyelids fluttering slightly while he kisses you.

You catch yourself thinking that he has really pretty eyelashes, and you stare at them as if the zombies out there will disappear if you just focus enough on the long black lashes and the filigree tattoed lines adorning Sukuna's cheekbones.

But then Sukuna's mouth opens against yours, and his tongue flicks over your lips, making you gasp softly. That's all it takes. Sukuna pushes his tongue between your lips, prying your mouth open, swallowing every sound you could make.

And suddenly, you are kissing him back, licking against his tongue just as desperately and hungrily as he is licking against yours. He is pressing you against the tree trunk, kissing you hungrily until all you can hear and feel and taste is him.

It's your lifeline. Something you can cling to. If Sukuna just keeps kissing you, you can drown out the horror of the world out there.

Your eyes squeeze shut, and you open your mouth further to kiss and lick and bite at Sukuna's lips. It's a wet, messy kiss. Tongues licking against each other desperately. Lips meeting with a bruising force here in the middle of a sea of zombies. Your teeth catch on Sukuna's bottom lip, and you bite it hard.

Sukuna's hands are still pinning your wrists against the tree trunk. He's caging you in with his strong body. Shielding you from everything else but him. There's only Sukuna and his lips and his body pressed against yours.

So alive. So human. So comforting.

You make it back to the hut unscathed.

The group of zombies moved on, probably wandering to your old camp. And Sukuna and you could step out of the tree trunk and continue your journey back to your temporary new shelter.

Not a single word is spoken on the walk back. A tension-filled silence settles between the two of you.

You don't know what to say. Thank you for kissing me out of a panic attack? It feels weird to even think about it. And it doesn't help that your lips are still swollen from the kiss. That you still feel your wrists throb where Sukuna held them so tightly.

Anytime you try to catch Sukuna's eyes, he just stares straight ahead, checking your surroundings for more walkers, focused on survival, or just unwilling to talk about what has happened in that tree trunk.

But the moment you step into the hut and the door closes behind you, Sukuna's maroon gaze fixes you with an intense look.

"Ok, now that we made it back in one piece, you can be mad at me all you want. In my defense, I saved our asses with that little action I pulled in the tree trunk. I'm not going to apologize for that. But punch me if you want. Here, have a swing at me!"

He points to his cheek, looking at you with a challenging twinkle in his eyes.

You stare at him for a long moment, flustered by his directness. It sounds tempting to punch him, to wipe that annoying smirk off his far too-pretty face.

But the thing is, you don't want to punch him. You want to feel the way you felt in those delirious minutes inside that tree trunk again when your head was spinning from Sukuna's kiss. You want to forget about the zombies and the apocalypse, if only for a little while.

Before you can stop yourself, your fingers already tangle in the front of Sukuna's stupid tank top, and you pull him into another kiss.

You catch him off guard, making this tall, muscular guy stumble into you so your bodies end up pressed tightly against each other again. But this time, Sukuna's strong arms wrap around you, firm hands grasping your waist and pulling you against him before his lips close over yours.

He is kissing you just as hard as in the tree trunk. Passionate and with a hunger that makes your head spin. A desperate-sounding whine escapes your mouth. You feel ashamed by how needy you sound, so full of longing.

And Sukuna laughs lowly against your lips in between those heated, breathless kisses, pulling away just enough to ask smugly:

"So, I take it you don't want to punch me, huh?"

"That was a...um, a thank you kiss."

"Yeah? Well, I'm glad we're alive too."

His voice is low, a seductive whisper against the side of your lip, and then that warm mouth moves to your neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses. You gasp, but it turns into a moan when Sukuna's teeth graze over your sensitive skin.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, marveling for a moment at how surprisingly soft it feels, and then Sukuna starts sucking on your pulse point, and you answer him by tugging on that soft pink hair and moaning his name.

And suddenly, there is no stopping the both of you anymore.

Your lips capture each other again in another heated kiss, sloppy and wet. Teeth are clashing, and tongues lick eagerly at each other. Your hands are frantically tearing at each other's clothes in their need for more skin contact.

You don't even make it over to the bed. Instead, you find yourself on the wooden floor of the hut, naked with a needy wet throbbing between your legs, hands tangled in pink hair as you pull an equally naked and riled-up Sukuna on top of you.

You are kissing hungrily, devouring each other like in the tree trunk. Needy and desperate. Hands and lips greedily moving over each other's bodies, needing more. More friction, more body heat, more human touch.

Sukuna fucks you right there on the dirty floor. Makes both of you hiss loudly when he pushes into you for the first time. There's no time to prepare you. Both of you are too horny, too desperate to wait any longer.

Sukuna stretches your pussy open around his fat mushroom head and then rams his whole hard length into you without hesitation, driven by the same feral need you feel too, to forget the hell this world is now and just lose himself in the feeling of your hot wet pussy.

He fucks you like no one else has ever fucked you. Hard and deep, making you gasp and moan and see stars because you think you will fall apart under him.

He is heavy on top of you, fucking you with savage hard thrusts. But you need it like that. Need to get fucked hard. You clutch desperately at Sukuna, pulling him closer, your nails digging into the muscles on his back, legs wrapped tightly around his narrow hips.

The small hut is filled with the sounds of sex, low grunts, harsh panting, and the filthy smacking sound of Sukuna's cock pounding your overly wet pussy and his heavy balls slapping forcefully against your slick skin.

He pulls out almost completely before he snaps his hips again to slam his thick girth back into you. Over and over again. The way Sukuna fucks you is urgent, hungry, almost brutal, knocking the air out of you.

Every hard thrust makes your ass and back slide over the rough wooden floor. But you can't bring yourself to care about the sting. You don't want him to slow down. You want him to fuck you even harder. Fuck away all your fear.

Please don't leave, please don't stop, please just keep my mind off all the bad things!

You moan Sukuna's name, and it comes out as a sob, desperate and needy, followed by a cadence of pleas.

"Sukuna...ah...yes harder, please fuck me harder...need you... I need you please!"

You are answered by a feral-sounding growl coming from Sukuna, and his mouth is on your neck, teeth closing around your sensitive skin, biting you as his pace becomes even more savage, making you gasp and cling to him tightly as your sweet spot gets tortured with hard, precise hits of his thick cockhead.

It's rough, it's dirty. Fucking on the floor with an animalistic, primal urge, void of any restraint.

A broken cry finds its way out of your mouth when the pressure gets overwhelming, and your body arches up against Sukuna's firm muscles.

Your pussy is spasming around his cock, and your nails leave deep scratches on Sukuna's back as an orgasm is fucked out of you that is so intense that you only see white for a moment.

You sob Sukuna's name, feeling tears run down your face as you squirt on his cock, messy and hot, unable to hold back as he keeps pounding your pussy with his unrelenting, brutal thrusts.

"Fuck!"

Sukuna groans loudly against your neck, which is wet from his spit and hot breath. And then he pushes himself off your body, sitting up and rolling his hips a few times more, watching as his slick cock sinks into your wet swollen pussy, stretching you open around his girth before he pulls out of you with a low groan.

You watch in rapt fascination as he wraps a hand around his thick, wet cock, pumping it in his fist with fast strokes while he kneels between your spread legs. He cums all over your stomach, covering your skin with his hot milky seed in several thick spurts.

Sukuna sounds hot when he cums, with low groans and heavy breathing.

Your gaze takes him in, staring at him as he kneels between your legs in all his glory, tall and muscular, black lines adorning his lean muscles, accentuating them beautifully. Abs flexed tightly, pecs taut with the strain of fucking you so hard. His long thick cock is still twitching with the aftershocks of his orgasm, his flushed dark pink tip glistening wetly from your slick and his cum.

He is a picture of perfection in this ugly and cruel world, like a dark angel fallen from heaven to come here and unleash his anger on those vile creatures. Brought here to keep you safe and give you hope.

Sukuna's gaze meets yours, maroon eyes glittering so enticingly with that burning passion as he leans over you.

You shudder in pleasure when he runs two fingers through the trail of his hot cum on your skin and then brings them to your lips and pushes them inside. His pretty eyes never leave your face while you suck the cum off his fingers.

When his fingers finally slip out of your mouth again, they leave a wet trail of spit on your lips and chin. A thin thread of cum and saliva still connects your lips to Sukuna's fingers for a short moment, and you stare at it in fascination until it tears.

The typical smirk is back on Sukuna's face as he sits back on his heels and runs a hand through his pink hair, smoothing the stray strands that fell into his forehead when leaning over you back out of his handsome face.

Your hazy mind is starting to catch up with what just happened and what you did, and you suddenly feel shy. You avert your gaze and try to close your legs. Your arms come up to cross in front of your naked breasts, trying to hide from Sukuna's gaze.

A soft chuckle is heard. Followed by one of Sukuna's large hands landing on your thigh and patting it. He tells you in a low, amused voice:

"No need to act shy now. We fucked on the floor. You ate my cum. My cock is still wet from your pussy. It's fine, trust me. We are in the middle of the apocalypse. This is the end of the world. There's no time to be ashamed. We should fuck a lot more and enjoy our last days. And it helped, didn't it? You feel better, don't you? Getting fucked your brains out helps, hm?"

"Do you have to say all this weird stuff, Sukuna?"

"What else should I call it? Was this a thank you-fuck? Like that kiss you gave me?"

"Maybe it was an I'm-glad-you're-here-with-me-because-I-would-be-scared-out-of-my-mind-if-I-had-to-go-through-all-this-alone-and-also-I-just-wanted-to-forget-all-this-crap-and-just-feel-good-for-a-few-minutes-fuck?"

Sukuna shrugs at your words, and there's an amused glint in his eyes. He looks softer, more relaxed, more like the college jock he is supposed to be. Who he would be if it weren't for this virus spreading through the world and turning everything upside down.

"Well, that's basically what I said. Fuck the apocalypse away for a little while."

He grins at you, looking boyish and charming when your gaze meets his. And when he winks at you, you suddenly struggle to keep the laughter in.

The same amusement is mirrored in Sukuna's eyes, and before you know it, he starts laughing.

A genuine heartfelt laugh. He sounds younger when he laughs like that, more like his brother somehow, less intimidating. You catch yourself joining in, breaking down in giggles, rolling onto your side, and holding your belly from laughing so hard.

You can't even say why you are laughing so much. You know you should stop. You know it's stupid and delusional. And yet it feels so good. It feels so good to let go for a few minutes. To just fuck and laugh and feel like a normal human being.

When your laughter has finally died down, you smile at Sukuna,

"You can have the bed tonight if you want."

But he shakes his head.

"You can sleep first, princess. I'll wake you up in a few hours so you can take over the watch."

His gaze travels over to the bed, and suddenly his eyes widen, and he crawls over, pushing a long muscular arm under the bed. And when Sukuna pulls back, he's holding up an axe.

A big triumphant grin spreads over his face.

"And tomorrow, I'll build us a fence!"

Thank you so much for reading chapter 2!! I used to call the characters in TWD stupid when they had risky sex in that fucked up world, but writing this story made me understand. I am sure getting dicked down by Kuna really helps a lot to take your mind off all that crazy stuff :)

The tree trunk scene was inspired by a scene in TWD where Carl and Enid were hiding from zombies in a large tree too. They didn't kiss in the show, but I thought it would be the perfect opportunity for Sukuna to shut reader up with desperate measures. I think he did great. Thank you for all your hard work, Sukuna! You are the best!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please let me know what you think! Comments and reblogs make me happy!

Chapter 3

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

Hello, let's say one would like to court a Gallifreyan: what would be the (general) best course of action and what is best to avoid.

Of course! Courting a Gallifreyan can be a bit of a minefield, so here's a general overview of pointers you may find helpful:

🧠 Be intellectually stimulating: Gallifreyans have brains bigger than their egos, and they adore a good intellectual debate. Your comprehensive knowledge of 21st-century reality TV shows won't score points, but a deep dive into the existential implications of time travel might just do the trick.

🍽️ Pick the right meal: Go for refined dishes or dishes that have historical or cultural importance. Gallifreyan taste buds are finely tuned instruments: a diverse range of flavours is welcome, while a chilli pepper apocalypse is probably not.

❌ Avoid mind games: Attempting strange human customs like "hard to get" with a five-dimensional being is idiotic. Not only could most Gallifreyans find these concepts primitive and pointless, but also confusing.

🫨 Don't be overly emotional or impulsive: A lot of Gallifreyans value control and stoicism over emotions. Engaging them on an emotional level is extremely rewarding, but it can take a while to get there. Trying to do this too early can scare them off.

🙏 Be forgiving: Gallifreyans, and Time Lords especially, can be insensitive and pompous. Their sense of superiority might slip out ('Oh, you still use linear time? Quaint!'). Don't take any of this personally, or else you're in for a very short courtship.

🌍 Choose good date locations: Your date's idea of a wild night likely involves a lecture on quantum entanglement rather than a rave. Keep your date locations less Ministry of Sound and more BBC4/PBS.

🤫 Keep it quiet: Don't pick overly crowded or chaotic places to go - a bustling environment might distract their telepathic senses, turning your date into a telepathic traffic jam where they're too busy listening to what all the drivers are saying to bother listening to you.

👏 Laud their achievements: Nothing warms Gallifreyan hearts like recognition of their brilliance, so remember to nod and say, 'ooo, you're so clever!' every so often.

🤲 Show respect for Gallifreyan traditions and customs: Even if you don't fully understand them, acknowledging and appreciating their cultural heritage can go a long way.

😍 Take it slow: Many Gallifreyans don't place the same level of importance on physical intimacy that some humans do. Make sure to build a foundation of mutual consent and respect before exploring that aspect of the relationship if you require it.

🔮 Embrace Telepathy: Just as some humans might require physical intimacy, for some Gallifreyans, intimacy might involve a telepathic connection. Don't shy away from this even if it's mainly one-way traffic.

Despite all of this, remember that every Gallifreyan is unique, with their personality traits, interests, and views. Tailor your approach based on the individual you're courting.

Hope that helped, and good luck! 😃

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》📫Got a question / submission? 》😆Jokes |🫀Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts 》📚Complete list of Q+A 》📜Masterpost If you like what GIL does, please consider buying a coffee or tipping below to help make future projects, including complete biology and language guides.

[finnsanegg]

Misleading Dreams

〰️🎵 Wicked Game - Chris Isaak 🎵〰️

-> Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Female Reader

-> Era: Season 3 (at the wedding)

-> Pronouns: she/her

-> Warnings: alcohol consumption, brief mention of character death

-> Word Count: 2k

-> Summary: You're one of the magic kids. You possess the ability to travel through space, though unlike Five - your power lies in traveling through realities and timelines (basically, your superpower is shifting). You came into this reality to help with doomsday, which unfortunately didn't go as planned; even though you knew exactly what was gonna happen. You knew everything - because yes, the Umbrella Academy was only a mere TV show in the reality you came from.

---------------

“You know I actually dreamed about you, back in my universe,” you put your hand on his shoulder for better balance.

The liquor was doing its dutiful job, God forbid you would trip and fall right now.

“Really?” Five raises his brows in question, “do tell.”

With a smile, you shift your eyes to the side - then you look back at him. 

It was hard to look him in the eye for a longer period of time. All this slow dancing came hand in hand with you being just a little closer to each other, more than you were used to. Thankfully, enough whiskey was allowing you to just try and enjoy the moment. 

Because what else could you possibly have right now? 

“You managed to create a portal to the moon,” you said, “on my balcony.”

He laughs, grabbing your hand just a little tighter. Probably for balance.

You weren't the only one who reeked of liquor here.

“You were so proud of yourself,” you continued with an amused chuckle.

“How could I not be,” he thinned his lips into a somewhat triumphant smile.

Five was well aware his behavior was probably veering away from his typical characteristic self. He was really out here, dancing like nothing mattered. And not just that, he was dancing with Y/N. In his mind, he wondered just how the hell did the two of you get into this situation in the first place.

“Ahh finally, I did it!” you mimicked his words from your dream - as if you truly heard him say that.

His face grimaced in a pretended offense. 

You never noticed how green his eyes actually were. Now that you could look at them from up close, you realized just how much tenderness they carried. Or was it the booze?

Come to think of it - the last time you were this close to each other was when you were leaving. You were leaving and he most likely thought he would never see you again. And you really did plan to not show your face here anymore, which obviously didn’t work out for you.

Your reasons were rather selfish, but that didn’t make them any less real. Simply put,  you just started to love each and every asshole in the Hargreeves family way too much. In fact, you considered yourself a part of them. And now, they did too.

It really just became your conjoint timeline, didn’t it?

“And what happened after that?” Five narrowed his eyes with amusement. Oh he was loving this conversation right now. This must have been the most fun he’s had since… well, ever since he got himself stuck in the apocalypse.

As you reminded yourself of the very dramatic events that happened in your dream, you chuckled, “you were about to jump in it. But I wanted to stop you.”

He raised his brow.

“So naturally, I tackled you to the ground,” you said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “and the portal disappeared.”

How else would you wanna stop Five fucking Hargreeves? Well to be fair, you couldn’t really stop him even if you tried. He was like an elder on a hunt for sales. Or should I say a soon-to-be young adult in a desperate need to get laid. Both things combined.

He lets out another laugh, “very professional of you.”

“Wait, do you guys see Five?” Luther looked in your direction. 

They were all sitting at one of the tables not far from the dance floor.

Victor soon followed his gaze, “he’s… laughing?”

“Five and Y/N!” Klaus smashed the table a little too hard, “I always knew he had a thing for her.”

“That’s so weird,” Diego proclaimed.

Klaus laughed, “I bet it’s the cute shorts that did the trick.”

You watched as he laughed, his eyes closing and opening again. He was shining especially bright tonight. Like the weight of the world was finally off his shoulders for a while.

“Even in your dreams, you just manage to harass me, do you?” Five joked.

For some reason, his chest felt like it was on fire. Maybe he didn’t mind your bullying so much, oddly enough. There was just something about you. And strangely, he could tell this felt very similar to how he used to be with Dolores.

It was your turn to burst out in laughter now, you threw your head back, as if it would help you regulate the amount of alcohol in your system right now.

Five couldn’t turn his eyes away at that moment. Honestly, who would? He absentmindedly eyed the curves of your collarbones - they looked especially nice tonight, complimented by the dress you were wearing. The skin of your neck, the sharp edges of your jawline. And he was thinking like a damn teenager. 

“There, did you see that?!” Klaus pointed his finger, “He’s so eyeing her!”

“Him eyeing someone?” Lila grimaced, “this is Five we’re talking about.”

Klaus ignored Lila’s comment of course, “they toootaly have the hots for each other,” he smiled.

Luther raised his brow, “or he’s just really drunk.”

“Alright,” you shook your head, “but in my defense, I helped you up right after that.”

“My hero,” he sighed dryly.

That damn sarcasm of his.

You scoffed, hitting the back of his neck lightly. Oh, this conversation would soon be the death of you.

He tilted his head then - a deadly move, too much for drunk Y/N to handle.

“I hope I repaid the favor.”

“Actually…” 

Yes, this conversation might actually just end you sooner than the apocalypse.

“You kissed me.”

His brows shot up.

Please kill me now, you thought.

“And let me tell you, it was one sloppy kiss,” you laughed.

Now that you think about it, whiskey probably wasn’t the best fit for you. Next time you could just down a bottle of kerosene instead. 

“Hey!” he breathes out, somehow offended. He couldn't believe where this conversation led to.

“You actually apologized for being so terrible,” you had to say it was amusing to watch his face switching through the whole palette of different emotions. 

Five’s eyes narrowed in an embarrassed glare. You had no idea how he worked his glare game up to this ridiculously high level. Maybe he used to stare holes through bricks as a sport back in the apocalypse.

“That doesn't sound like me at all.”

“It really doesn't.”

A few seconds of silence followed. Neither of you knew how to continue this conversation, so you just assumed (you hoped, in fact) you would just drop it.

“Well, now I know your dreams are total bullshit.”

Well, guess not.

“Hey!” you frowned. 

Five was asking himself just why on Earth did he decide to pursue this topic further. But his mouth outran his thoughts - something that seemed to happen a lot under the influence of sweet alcohol. He was already so close to you and something in him screamed that this was his chance.

“First off, creating a portal to the moon is nearly impossible.”

“Nearly?” you raised your brows, chuckling. To be fair, he probably would find a way.

“And second..." Five paused. 

He still wasn't sure if he should do this. But the odds were against you all, with the inevitable doom literally around the corner. 

And for some reason, he remembered the time you left. Or rather, how it felt. How he then started to realize that your shared objective wasn't the only thing he liked about you.

"...I’m not a bad kisser.”

You stared at him, trying to process his words. Was he saying what you thought he was saying? Or were you just unnecessarily reading into it? It was hard to tell.

As you swayed into the slow, seemingly never-ending rhythm of the song, you proceeded to furrow your brows and then raise them up again.

It was difficult to believe Five would make a move like this. That he would say something so strangely inviting. As if he would want you to fall into the trap hidden within this conversation. Nevertheless, that didn't stop your heart from fluttering a little faster. There was just something about his eyes that made you believe it just for a second.

“Really?" you asked, "Well, I don’t believe you."

A rather bold answer, you must say. But you needed to know if you were really picking up what he was putting down. If he was putting this down.

Five's heart was beating unusually fast. Guess all this second puberty deal was getting to him too much. In his 58 years he wouldn't have hoped something like this would ever happen to him. But then again, he didn't really get the chance to meet a lot of people now, did he? The apocalypse is a dark and lonely time to be in.

But being here and now, he felt so young again. You made him feel young again.

"And how's that so?" He narrowed his eyes, "dreams are often very misleading."

He did have a point. They were misleading.

Your suspicion grew stronger with every second you spent looking at each other in silence. You suddenly didn’t know what to say - a certain type of nervousness washed over you.

Come on, say something, Y/N.

Absent-mindedly, your eyes slid down to his lips.

You swear it was only for a split second. There was no way Five would have noticed that.

But he did.

Or at least - he hoped he did. It wasn’t his imagination, was it? 

Before this silence could get anymore intense, you shook your head slightly and gave yourself a mental slap across the face. Well, more like a mental punch in the guts.

“I guess you’re right,” you cleared your throat, “but it still doesn’t make me believe you.”

Now, you knew this wasn’t the end of times. You were well aware of what was about to happen. In the back of your mind, you plotted to prevent both Luther and Klaus from dying - your heart broke a little every time you remembered what was in store for them.

But, Five most likely thought this was the last day on Earth for you all. And if you thought so too, you would definitely not waste your time. 

Fuck it. 

“If only there was a way to prove it.”

You tilted your head then - a deadly move, too much for drunk Five to handle.

He couldn’t stop his eyes from widening ever so slightly. His smile faded, as realization hit him. He really did just hear you say that; what a bold push. It’s one he really didn’t expect. But it’s one he probably needed.

You witnessed as his face softened, he locked on you with a focused look. Now that wasn’t a sight you could see very often. But in a strange way, it suited him.

Ignoring the bundle of nerves in your stomach, you reciprocated the tender seriousness with which he was observing you. Now it was his turn to say something.

Please just say something.

“Can I?”

Oh.

Your mouth hung slightly open. 

You didn’t even notice you had stopped dancing. Neither did Five.

You didn’t dare to break eye contact. Neither did Five.

You both stood in silence for a few moments.

This time you weren’t really trying to hide the way you looked down on his lips. And neither did Five.

A slight smile formed on your lips, and at that moment he already knew the answer.

Next thing you knew, his hand rested gently on the side of your neck and he pulled himself closer. 

Your noses brushed against each other first - and somehow you both stayed in that moment of closeness just a few seconds longer than you had to.

And suddenly, you were kissing.

You focused on his soft lips. The way he gently breathed out when you parted. The way he breathed you in once more as you kissed again.

His other hand remained on your hip, as it did throughout the dance. Only it seemed more eager, his grip tightened ever so slightly, as if he needed to make sure you won't go anywhere.

And Five really didn't want you to go anywhere right now.

He was making sure this was truly real - that he won't just wake up from a drunk, misleading dream. He really liked the way this felt. And he must admit, at that moment, he let his guard down completely.

Maybe whiskey wasn’t so bad after all.

---------------

-> A/N: As you can probably tell, this is part of a bigger storyline. I thought up a lot of different scenarios thru all the seasons into my script, for when I shift there. Hope you enjoyed and let me know if you would like more from this universe!

[that-left-turn]

I really want to like your blog. You have these long posts that appear thoughtful. But what I also notice is your unwillingness to call the caryl stuff what it is. The fandom , which I’m apart of, is dying. Not because of amc or people who love that other ship. It’s because we believed in actors and chemistry that doesn’t have legs. The actual actors do not support us. The actual show runners and writers do not support us. We are grasping at straws to support something that doesn’t really exist. Whining and acting like toddlers instead of staying in our area and enjoying what we have. When they had Carol marry Ezekiel I had to call bs and let it go. This is not Valhalla or amc or richonne, it’s us not being willing to admit we saw something that will never be canon. Why can’t we be happy with what we have? You seem smart and I started following you recently because of that but we need to have some reality about us now because we are fighting ghosts and we look stupid. Carol could have married Daryl instead of Ezekiel or sleeping with Tobin 🤮 Daryl could have stayed to watch over the kids with Carol. We need to stop letting twd make us look stupid for trailing us along. And we keep letting them do it.

My perspective on Caryl is rooted in how these things are handled by studios and the productions. There are a lot of instances that want a say regarding what couple goes canon and when, and more than one factor as to why. I agree with you that the fandom is dying and that the "people who love that other ship" isn't the cause, but it's not because Caryl's chemistry wasn't there.

I'll run down the main points of my reasoning:

The industry has changed a lot since the start of TWD. AMC is a basic cable network, which means their traditional means of revenue are ad sales and syndication. Certain rules were observed regarding the main/big ships of the shows that existed in that market space and Caryl is a product of those parameters. The relationships from this programming era were teased endlessly to have people tune in from week to week and the general assumption was that the audience would lose interest once the couple went canon. Also, because episodes aired out of order in syndication, it was normal to try and preserve the status quo from episode to episode.

Daryl is an original character for the TV show, so AMC outright owns the rights to him. That's why he is the most marketed/promoted character—because they stood to profit the most from him. Male (romantic) leads are not written the same way anymore that was true for the early seasons of TWD. They were supposed to be unattainable and most often emotionally unavailable for one reason or another, so the show could maintain what was seen as the core story engine.

AMC is deeply steeped in a white male business culture. (The Dolans are essentially the Roy family from Succession.) As we've seen on TWD, the female characters are by and large irrelevant, interchangeable and something to be pitted against each other unlike their male counterparts. The execs thought they'd draw female viewers by promoting Daryl as the Bachelor of the Apocalypse, especially as he couldn't be paired up with the end-game ship.

Scott M. Gimple is a petty vicious little man.

"The writers" are innocent in all this. They can and often do have their own opinions, but they're not in charge of what happens to a ship. That's a negotiation between the showrunner and the studio. Changes in showrunner changes the vision of the show. Most often because the studio wants that change but sometimes because the showrunner touched someone in ways that are inappropriate. The writers are the Greek chorus: they're not individuals per se, they mimic the voice of the showrunner.

Unless the actors have gone on record somewhere (against the terms of their NDAs) on whether they support a ship or not, assumptions on the topic are subjective. One way or the other.

Ezekiel and Tobin were part of Carol's character arc. Tobin had the same body type that Ed did, so he was a step in Carol reclaiming her sexuality and like Ezekiel, it goes to show the level of control she needs over her intimate partnerships. However, there were also BTS reasons for those choices, which had to do with Gimple's vision for the show. And, Daryl couldn't stay to watch over the kids with Carol because he was headed for the spinoff.

The original Carol and Daryl spinoff was pitched by Josh Sapan who was the AMC Networks CEO (the big boss) at the time. He was aware that there was money to be made by marketing a show about these two characters, otherwise he wouldn't have pushed for it. The intention was for canon Caryl in the spinoff, but due to backstage maneuverings, the showrunner got fired, the concept was revised and "the other lead" was forced out.

Any fan who's happy and enjoying what they have, should continue to do so. I'm not arguing with anyone's feelings on the matter. Just like I think fans who aren't happy have the right to tell AMC what they will pay for; it's a negotiation of a business transaction. I have zero faith in Zabel and Nicotero was the point person for most of TBOC due to the WGA strike, so viewers should go into the situation with their eyes open regardless of their personal preferences.

Personally, I want canon because that's the payoff for how both Carol and Daryl's character arcs have been written—they mirror each other and their joint emotional arc has been romantically coded since the start. Promotion hasn't kicked off yet and I need to hear what TPTB say and, more importantly, what they don't to make an informed decision on what I think.

[itsbenedict]

BP Postmortem post 2 bc/image limit

Don't read this unless you've read the first one already! There's a 30-images-per-post limit and I had to split it up! Opening this readmore will immediately spoil lots of stuff and be confusing.

So, right. Nolan. Didn't that guy die? Case 1 killer?

Well, you see... that wasn't Nolan Cubbins. Not a very Brazilian name, was it? So... who's this kid?

That's Lucas Rossi, Davi's younger brother and host of "Bullet Proof", the fourth-most-popular Enoshima knockoff killing game on the air! (And the most popular one being broadcast in English!) While there's a whole production crew on the ground that edits together the footage, he's the host and director on-set.

Why's he doing this? Well... for the money, mainly.

Lucas met Junko Enoshima while she was doing a despair tour through Brazil. He'd been a student activist at the time, and student activists were sort of her favored prey, and what should have happened is that he was brainwashed like basically everyone else who ever met her. And that is what happened, until he went home to Davi and tried to spread the gospel of despair and Davi was like, what the fuck? And did some brain surgery to his little brother to erase the memory of meeting Junko.

After finding out what'd happened to him, and being deeply deeply discomfited by how malleable he turned out to be in the face of superpowered charisma, he developed a pretty intense hatred of her and the whole despair cult! He eventually connected with the Future Foundation, and found... that the Future Foundation was underfunded and needed more resources to put a stop to the apocalypse. They needed money. A lot of it.

So... Lucas got into showbiz. Despair-based entertainment was like, the only thing anyone cared about anymore, for some impossible reason, and lots of people had life savings they no longer cared about because life is pointless and only Despair matters, so... it was easy to play to the crowd. With Davi's help, he was able to put together some very convincing bloodsport and execution videos, but... the apocalypse is a tough environment for indie payment processors, so they had an audience, but not much money.

That's when the Bright Conglomerate reached out with a big budget and big plans to convert a flying Hope's Peak safehouse into a staged deathgame. They'd have top-of-the-line equipment, a whole production staff, and a major corporation working to adapt to the economic realities of the despair apocalypse and ensure cashflow. Lucas and Davi would get a cut of the revenue, and it'd be a lot of revenue- which he'd be able to divert to the Future Foundation in hopes of putting all this madness to rest.

So they flew up there and took over, thanks to Gwen and Sakura not bothering to turn on most of the ship's defenses, and Henry running interference. They initially tried to negotiate with Will Bookerton (still an adult at that point, trying to root out whoever had taken over Monokuma and started some sort of cockamamie Deception Game), and... faced opposition. Will didn't trust the tech, Henry wanted to cultivate more of a family-friendly image for the show which was insane and counter to the whole idea, and ultimately Lucas had Davi erase their memories so they couldn't interfere with production. It was all going to go perfectly!

And it went perfectly! A smash hit! Made billions! Bullet Proof was a reality TV craze that swept the, uh, anarcho-despairist perpetual riot that they had instead of a nation by that point.

Y'know, for the first couple seasons. Until season 3, when Lashauna shoved this dipshit off the top of the school building and his head got pulped on impact:

This was sort of a crisis point. Davi was forced to confront the reality that his skills couldn't undo every murder that happened on the show, and that the charade would have a cost in human lives. And a reality TV star dying in an accident during filming would be a huge scandal for a normal show!

But obviously this led to a huge jump in ratings with the show's core demo, so there was a bit of a moral dilemma there.

Lucas, in charge, ultimately decided... by the numbers, it was worth it. One fatal accident every so often, in exchange for funneling millions to stop the apocalypse where hundreds of thousands of people were dying every day? It... made sense, right? It was worth it. The show must go on.

Agnesi Wu Jessie Bai, until this point, was in the same boat as Raymond and Lilakali- a genuine Hope's Peak student who voluntarily assisted with the production of Bullet Proof. When she thought no one was really in any danger thanks to Davi's miracle resurrection tech, she was in league with Lucas to help fund the Future Foundation, and was happy to play the heel a bit to make the show more exciting. But, uh... once it became clear that people were actually dying, she wanted nothing more to do with it, and they started wiping her memory just like Henry and the rest. Still, there exists footage of her confessing to being the mastermind from earlier seasons, which was going to show up in case 5 as a misdirect.

So people kept dying off. And they needed replacements for the dead students, so there'd be enough suspects, of course. So they imported some fake Ultimates.

Martha and Vic were what they called "Murder Geniuses"- prolific killers who, after succumbing to despair, performed highly public and dramatic killings without suffering repercussions. Martha had formed an impromptu military unit that had dominated an entire city, and Vic was a prolific serial killer known as the Gumball Maniac. Bullet Proof's production crew managed to capture them, revert them to teenagers, and erase their memories of despair- adding some bigshot celebrities to the cast. I forget if I set this up in the adventure, but there was going to be another misdirect with the Hope's Peak student records, where their profiles would be missing- casting suspicion on them as mastermind candidates.

So... remember that one time I posted these, and was like "one of these is an actual evil mastermind design, hee hee hoo hoo"?

HAHA! GOTCHA! They were all actual evil mastermind designs! Kinda... bad ones, in retrospect, but whatever.

Anyway... it didn't take too long before the show caught the eye of Cyrus Bookerton, who was supposed to be headmaster of the school. He saw Billy on TV and was freaked out- deciding that it was worth opening up his safehouse and sending his daughter, ???? Bookerton, Ultimate Impostor, to rescue her older brother and put a stop to this.

"Alice", in one of her earlier guises, posed as an intern at the production studio on the ground. As she was eager to get involved, she was eventually sent up to assist Lucas, Davi, Lilakali, and Raymond as a replacement student on the show.

She pretended Lucas was her hero, in her guise as an ascended fangirl working her dream job. He spilled everything to her, explaining how everything was to divert money to the Future Foundation and save the world. They were very close!

And as a result of them being very close, she noticed something. She noticed that Lucas had given up. Compromise after compromise made to keep the show on the air and the money coming in had worn him down, and he'd stopped really caring about where the money was going. Despair was beginning to get to him, the longer those Future Foundation millions went without saving the world. Nothing seemed to be changing, but all he could do was keep doing what he'd always done. He didn't really believe in what it was all for anymore. And... he'd gotten very good at doing his job.

So she went to go do what she was sent there to do. Kill Davi Rossi, put an end to Bullet Proof, and rescue her brother.

Only she got caught and failed.

She'd set up a bomb in the lab, but was caught red-handed and forcibly sedated and mindwiped. Because she'd been a double agent for so long, Davi had to do a pretty complicated mind-wipe, making swiss cheese of her memory so she'd only remember rehearsing her various cover identities. She was left only with the memory of being Alice Bayko, SHSL Stage Magician, normal student at Hope's Peak Academy. (Or Alistair Bayko, or Charlie Range, or Diana Ingenue, depending on what the player selected at the start of the game.) Demoted from showrunner/double agent to hapless cast member- with a suite of fuzzy and awkward half-remembered memories bleeding through.

After that... well, Lucas trusted her a lot. She helped run a bunch of seasons of the show, and her betrayal really got to him. In a fit of paranoia, he decided to become a shadow mastermind, operating from behind the scenes of behind the scenes, so that Raymond and Lilakali couldn't betray him too. No more mistakes like this one! Delete him from their memories, make them think it'd just been the two of them that whole time. Keep that Nolan Cubbins kid on ice- he'd take his place, and then...

...after posing as an easily-caught culprit in case 1, he'd get harpooned during his execution, and then... reeled back into the ship, where Davi would patch him up ahead of schedule. A perfect disappearing act.

As for Alice- getting mind-wiped wasn't an outcome she failed to anticipate.

It was always possible she'd get captured and mind-wiped. And if that happened, someone needed to finish the job. The state-of-the-art custom Monokuma droid she'd been set up with as part of her cover identity: Flopsy-Turvy. She'd programmed it with instructions to kill Davi and then self-destruct, destroying his lab and making it impossible for Bullet Proof to continue.

She didn't think to program it not to catch Billy in the blast, though, who happened to be infiltrating that very same lab via the secret passage he built in the first place.

I really hadn't figured out how I was going to present this whole setup to the players deductively, to be honest, but that's the upshot of Case 5: Determining that Flopsy-Turvy was the culprit, and by extension Alice.

And then Lucas, whose mental state at the time is best-represented by this TMBG song...

...executes Alice in a fit of rage and betrayal.

That's about as far as I had planned. I knew I wanted there to be some sort of case 6, getting into the backstory with Lucas and Henry and all the other backstory details that weren't explored in case 5, but I didn't have any clear plans- maybe some kind of action scene as Lucas's control over the guns and security systems goes up against the whole class working together to evade his defenses and subdue him, shot like an execution? And then an ending where the survivors take over the airship and fly off into the sunset with a vague intent to save the world somehow? Most of the dead would still be in Davi's tanks and hypothetically recoverable, if they found some other Ultimate Doctor. I didn't really have the ending nailed down from there, except that...

...with Alice dead, I was going to have Jo take off the incongruently feminine costume and reveal the ahoge, becoming the new protagonist. It's a rule of Danganronpa that the protagonist has to be a boy with a stupid hair doinker thingy! Joe Alejo, Ultimate Hope!

I was setting up a bunch of Gender stuff with Jo leading up to this protagonist reveal- when Davi's Monokuma was going to show up to treat the wound Martha suffered from Gwen's saw trap, he was going to notice Jo was binding with Ace bandages and be like. No. Honey. Come on. Here's my old binder from before I used my necromancer powers to trans my gender. That's so unsafe.

(Which... in retrospect, wouldn't have made sense? Surely this season isn't the first one in which Jo had a gender journey, and Davi who was responsible for reanimating them a bunch of times wouldn't have failed to notice this. Hrm. Would find a way to rewrite that moment in the reboot.)

That is... I think that's everything! Aside from... a few changes I was going to make in the reboot.

Reboot changes

One was going to be that... I was going to just cut Violette and Caleb. Violette's shtick was too annoying to write consistently, and Caleb was kind of me working through some religious baggage that I'm kinda distant from at this point.

To replace Violette as case 1's victim, I was going to build up to case 3's super tragic thing with Lashauna and Mill some more. To do this, I was going to split Dominique into two different characters.

Dom had... a couple of weird things going on with him. The initial conception of his shtick was... completely cishet guy who acted all camp and flamboyant because he just liked messing with people. The kind of guy who's, like, absolutely homophobic, thinks queerness is deviant and disgusting- but thinks deviant and disgusting people are so funny to laugh at that he supports them anyway? Joins in on the bit? Like being gay is the funniest joke he can think of? A little extremely confused, and doesn't got the spirit at all, but somehow the same energy anyway?

Plus, like- Dominique was like, late twenties, absolutely not a real high-schooler, and Lashauna was... I want to say like, 18? Definitely too young for him, but also she's his boss so there was a weirdass power dynamic that definitely wasn't healthy in some direction or other- and it definitely wasn't a good look to have the camp gay guy be sort of a sexual predator.

That was always a really awkward bit to write, and I ended up not really committing to it at all. So instead he just sort of ended up... like, a normal stereotypical camp gay hairstylist guy? And then he died before there could really be any exploring any of the fucked-up parts of his character. It didn't really work.

So instead, we've now got Dominique Locke, Ultimate Stylist, and Nick Martin, Ultimate Gambler.

Dominique is just straight-up genderfluid, a shy and untalkative kid who uses their hairstyling and makeup skills to modulate their gender performance on a moment-to-moment basis. They get the hair-changes-every-portrait shtick, and get killed in case 1 only to come back alive in case 5.

Nick, meanwhile, gets most of the scummier elements. He's the homophobic one in charge of the Diamonds who colludes with Henry re:crime stuff and dies in case 2's double murder. This guy's very clearly not a teenager by any stretch of the imagination, and technically neither is Lashauna in this iteration, though I still want to have like, the too-young-but-also-his-boss fucked-up power dynamic for their weird relationship.

The idea there is to build up, like... one Hit Deck member dying in both cases before case 3, to build up to Lashauna and Mill's conflict re:whether she should cut her losses and kill him to escape or try and stick it out and save her last surviving subordinate.

-

The other thing I'd do is... foreshadow the reality TV and loops thing more. Introduce impossible footage of things that didn't happen earlier, find some way to explain the rules of memory modification ahead of time, and use the Monokumas as mouthpieces more liberally. Maybe have Davi show up in person only to disappear hastily at some point, so he doesn't come out of nowhere. There's a lot of this plot that just wasn't really sufficiently foreshadowed, I think, and with this many layers to it it would definitely be doable to start peeling them back earlier.

And, of course, rework the logic of the cases more to be, uh, better. More fair and solvable with multiple roads to noticing the relevant clues. The ones I did were very much a first attempt, and I didn't really have the knack for it yet.

And that's, uh... that's it! I think that's everything. If you've got any questions, ask box is open. Thanks to everyone who read and supported Bullet Proof while I was making it!

[fogsrollingin]

Time for some more Good Omens fic recs! These are the most recent fics I've read and loved. For all of them, nav to https://fogsrollingin.neocities.org/recs/goodomens 😈🪽 Cheers and happy readings! 📚🥂

Ocean of Secrets (illustrated) by magicbubblepipe. Explicit, 16k words, Aziracrow. Summary: When Crowley uncovers a plot to sink a so-called unsinkable ship, he decides to take credit for it and collect a commendation from the safety of his London flat. That is, until he spots a certain flaxen haired angel with a weakness for expensive creature comforts boarding the ship. He's forced to take action, lest his beloved be horribly discorporated. TL;DR Crowley and Aziraphale were on the Titanic. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23713294 The Titanic one - this one really stayed with me. It was such a lovely read, and I loved the epic horrifying proportions and backdrop of the Titanic. The author described the disaster very well.

Slow Show by mia_ugly. Explicit, 95k, Aziracrow. Summary: In which temptations are accomplished, grand romantic gestures are made, and two ineffable co-stars only take four seasons of an award-winning television program to realize they’re on their own side (at last, at last.) https://archiveofourown.org/works/20395261 Okay as someone who generally dislikes celebrity AUs, but I love drug addict redemption stories, I gave this one a shot (with over 12k kudos, it wasn't a hardship). Very well-written (you just know it's gonna be good when the author starts with a Richard Siken quote). Some terrific heart-wrenching angst that I adored. I appreciated the way the author mixed scenes from Good Omens into the fake TV show they were in. It worked really well for extra visualization.

A.Z. Fell Cooking (aka vlogger au) Series by MostWeakHamlets. Rated General Audiences, 35k words, Aziracrow. Summary: Aziraphale has a cooking show on the internet. It started out with three viewers, but now he's known as the happy grandfather that blew up overnight. Crowley occasionally makes cameos, has dedicated his garden to giving Aziraphale fresh herbs and vegetables, and struggles with living after the apocalypse. ___ “Taste this, my dear,” Aziraphale said. He held a spoonful of jam to Crowley’s lips with his free hand cautiously under it, ready to catch any dripping. Crowley leaned forward to wrap his lips around the spoon. Most likely his shyness came from the small tender moments Aziraphale was not afraid of showing the world. It had been the topic of many long conversations after Aziraphale took Crowley’s hand in St. James Park, causing Crowley to freeze and break out in a cold sweat. Being discreet had always been their top priority. For 6,000 years, someone would have surely seen them if they embraced in the middle of London. But now, Aziraphale had assured Crowley, things were different. They no longer needed to hide, but Aziraphale would go as slow as Crowley needed him to. It was almost funny how their roles had switched after the apocalypse. https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610359 Oh man I loved the first chapter of the second fic installment where it's written like we're voyeurs watching the heart-wrenching reality of Aziraphale caring for Crowley, who's super sickly and frail in the winter (is usually back to normal in the spring and summer). The amount of love and trust that goes into the relationship depicted in this fic is sooooooo This is mainly a South Downs curtain fic btw. It sounds like a social media AU thing, but the YouTube vlogging aspect is a side quest / cool awesome vehicle to give us some fantastic hurt/comfort

Honey, You’ll Survive by HotCrossPigeon. Teen+, 12k words, Aziracrow. Summary: Crowley only popped into the bookshop to say goodbye. He might not have been thinking straight, due to that bloody great big hole where his stomach used to be. Aziraphale, quite rightly, refuses to let the demon pop his clogs in his bookshop of all places, thank you very much. https://archiveofourown.org/works/20790638 Aziraphale saving a fatally hurt Crowley and being super straightforward about wanting cuddles was the best thing in the world. Crowley was written really well in this fic - doing his best to be snarky and sarcastic, anything but sincere and vulnerable (but he gets there. Oooo how I love that 🥰🥰🥰)

Untouched by Etaleah. Teen+, 3k words, Aziracrow. Summary: A demon's life is a lonely one. What Crowley wants is so simple, yet he can never have it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/20505689 Touch starvation. When Aziraphale finally hugs h Crowley and basically breaks him 😭 literally the best

Someone Reaching Back For Me by lorenzhellmangloucester. Teen+, 1k words, Aziracrow. Summary: Aziraphale tries to soothe, tries to rock him, completely unsure if he’s helping or not; he’s never seen Crowley lose control in quite this way. Sometimes Crowley lashes out in anger or hurt, and he’s seen him vulnerable before, but nothing like this. Nothing this fragmented, nothing this… shattered. It’s like watching Crowley break, this shivering, terrified creature clinging to him like he might disappear, and oh. Oh, Aziraphale thinks, feeling very small and fragile himself all of a sudden. In the immediate wake of the almost-apocalypse, Aziraphale realizes he's not the only one who was afraid of being left alone. https://archiveofourown.org/works/19241956 I really adored this - I love the concept of Crowley going snakey when he's upset & panicking, and especially that Aziraphale would just wrap him up in hugs and cuddles no matter how monstrous he's looking 🥰🥰🥰 I *love* it so much.

side effects by darcylindbergh. Explicit, 7k words, Aziracrow. You don’t have to do this, you know, Crowley said, somewhere around Aziraphale’s stomach. His hand was rough around the hem of Aziraphale’s jumper, tugging a little, like he was trying to convince himself to let go. I’m fine on my own. I know. Aziraphale touched carefully—he was learning how to touch, like this—searching out the place right above Crowley’s left eyebrow where the migraine lived, pressing on it. You don’t have to be, though. You can just consider me a side effect. https://archiveofourown.org/works/35166532 This was super emotional and so well written. The amount of hurt/comfort and nonsexual intimacy was amazing. There was a bit of sexual intimacy but it was... it was lovely. Definitely going to reread this one.

Recompense by Flywolf33. Mature, 21k words, Aziracrow. Summary: At first, he didn’t realize anything was wrong. They’d had a row, which wasn’t entirely unusual, and Crowley had stormed off with a few harsh words he didn’t mean flung over his shoulder. Aziraphale had flung a few of his own untruths, though he always knew they hurt the demon far more than either of them would admit. To his everlasting shame, Aziraphale didn’t start looking for another two years. By that time, the trail had gone cold and he couldn’t sense Crowley’s aura anywhere. In which Hell gets hold of Crowley and Aziraphale has to try to put Humpty Dumpty back together again - if Crowley will let him. This has nothing to do with my other GO stuff at all. This has been bouncing around in my head and I finally got it on paper. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21471934 Aziraphale barging into hell 50 years later to rescue Crowley. The slow burn of recovery and angst (the scene where Aziraphale says he'll let Crowley go forever if that's what he wants and needs to feel better and recover) and love. The device-pulsifiers family supporting them was so brilliant too. Fantastic fic.

[destinygoldenstar]

The Island Apocalypse Theory (Total Drama Island 2023 is a plot for world domination)

“Now lets meet the victims-I mean CAMPERS.” -Chris McLean

Yeah, that sums up this entire show.

So you all know how you feel about the reboot by this point. Either you love it or you don’t. But you know what the worst thing about the season is?

OTHER than Ripper.

OTHER than Episode 5.

OTHER than Chris’ new voice.

It’s the plot hole of HOW THE F IS WAWANAKWA BACK?!

We saw the island sink in All Stars and that’s why Paketiew took place in a new robot island… thing. 

You would think there would be an explanation for this of any sort, even if it’d be a stupid one-

Nope. It’s just back. Don’t question it. 

It’s easy to just dismiss this and move on, call it something like ‘bad writing’.

But if you know me, you know I DON’T leave it at that. And I’m here to tell you that NO. This decision was NOT bad writing, as I wholeheartedly trust Fresh TV’s executives and their ability to fix what’s so obviously broken! (This sentence is complete sarcasm)

So I am here to exploit that the lack of explanation was INTENTIONAL, and is build up towards something outrageously huge as the climax of all of Total Drama! You see, Wawanakwa NEVER sank in the first place. Chris faked the whole thing.

It is the main base of Chris McLean’s ultimate plan to brainwash the entire world and start the zombie robot apocalypse.

AXEL KNEW.

So here is THE ISLAND APOCALYPSE THEORY:

(This is me rambling something stupid. Do not take this seriously. It’s not legit… or is it?)

We need to take this theory all the way back to All Stars. In the finale of the season, due to hot springs Chris placed, the entirety of Wawanakwa sank at the bottom of the sea. Thats exactly they moved to Paketiew to make that season possible. But we’re gonna save that for later.

Let me tell you why the island sinking in the first place is BS. (Other than on a writing standpoint)

You see, realistically, islands are created from volcanic eruptions from the sea. Therefore, made of molten rock. Hot springs are NOT volcano related, actually. The only way an island can sink is if it is dissolved by erosion. However, this takes MILLIONS of years, and obviously that's not the case here. In fact there are multiple islands wit hot springs that stay in tact perfectly fine. So already, there's NO WAY the island could actually sink by artificial hot springs.

If god can't do it, McLean certainly can't either.

But lets say Wawanakwa is a floating island. Okay... my point still stands. If that were the case, the island would tear apart and separate across the sea in chunks. It would NOT sink. If they said "The Island is being torn apart", then it would make sense. But no, that's not what happened.

You get my point. Wawanakwa NEVER sank. There's no way in hell it could.

BUT WAIT, you may be wondering, if the island never sank, why did the island sink on TV?

You can blame one specific person: Chris McLean, THE most evil character in all of Canadian TV. I'm not joking.

Chris McLean is not only the host of the show, but he is also the executive who has taken over everything. It all started with executives hiring him just for a cute little gig... but then they realized they gave him way to much power, and by that point there was nothing they could do to stop the inevitable.

Chris made a CGI version of the show, and cut off the reality at the very moment the sword was pulled out by Mike (or Zoey).

That sword was the moment the cameras were cut.

From there, it was the perfect illusion so that nobody could find out what came of Chris after that, and what he did to everyone on that island.

As for those people on the island, Mike, Zoey, Gwen, Cameron, Heather, and Alejandro, they have... an unfortunate fate. But I'll get to that later.

Fifteen years later, we have no clue of Chris McLean's backstory or why he does what he does. We don't know where this man came from.

Maybe that's why we don't know the true motivations behind his plans for world domination.

Chris could've just been a hotshot egocentric celebrity and that's the end of is character. And he would be one of the nicer celebrities out there. BUT NO. He's not just cocky. He's not just a sociopath. He's not just a victim of bad writing from Revenge onward.

This man, from the very beginning, is straight up EVIL.

So what is his plan?

He plans to use Total Drama to brainwash the entire world and start a robot apocalypse with himself as the only survivor.

It's where the parody angle of Survivor comes in.

That's right. From the VERY BEGINNING, this has been Chris McLean's motive, and this is how it all started.

We know that Chris did not fund the show at first. That was a bunch of executives. In fact, they had Blaineley in mind for the role of the host. And as much as we all hate Blaineley, she probably should've accepted the job. By refusing the job, she just gave power to somebody who is going to destroy everything.

So yeah, you can blame Blaineley for the death of humanity.

Did Blaineley know they were gonna hire Chris if she didn't accept the role? No. There's no hint that she knew. She's pretty much oblivious. BUT, it makes her role in World Tour justified, as during her elimination, she tried to explain her POV on the subject matter, and she gets cut off by Chris shoving her off a plane.

She also so happens to crash badly and break every bone in her body so she can't speak. OOPS, WHAT A TOTAL ACCIDENT ON CHRIS'S PART. GUESS SHE CAN'T SPILL ANYTHING THAT WOULD EXPLOIT CHRIS'S TRUE INTENTIONS.

Also a bear gnaws on her head in Episode 24... she has memory loss now. That's why she's wearing pink in Ridonculous Race. Yes Ridonculous Race is important.

So now Chris is the host of Total Drama on a deserted Island, and he has the support of the network for funding.

Perfect.

He's already gained his base of operation for his plan, and is already starting the prototypes of his robot creations. How do I know this?

You know the animals in Island. They seem to have way more personality than animals should, considering animals aren't sentient. (Or are they?)

We as an audience, watching a cartoon, can perceive this as normal cartoon antics. And that's what Chris wants you to think so you don't see that these animals are actually robotically brainwashed by cheap devices.

I say cheap because there's a bit in Episode 6 with the Screaming Gophers and a bear. Izzy found a costume and scared her teams for the LOLS. How did she know where to find a bear costume?? (Yep. Izzy isn't crazy. She is vital to this. (And you know what video I am referencing.)) It's obvious to say she's just crazy and this is a gag and she's totally not onto Chris. And Chris totally didn't realize she was onto him and shut her up by trying to kill her.

Oh yeah, and there's also the real bear that Owen found. When Owen ripped off that hair on the bear, and the bear acts normally again. He freed that bear from Chris's control. Chris had to replant that hair after the episode to hide things.

Where even is Chris’s base of operations for all of this? How about that reveal in the Island Special where it was revealed the island wasn’t actually an Island?! THAT WOULD BE A GOOD BASE.

And now the big thing: The contestants. The Gen 1 cast. (And soon, the Gen 2 cast are gonna be in the same category) They are Chris's first victims of his plot.

I went into depth about how this cast becomes exploited on TV and how the show is an allegory on how reality shows and fame can corrupt someone as gullible as teenagers. Even with this theory, that's still relevant. These teenagers are getting screwed up mentally by the show.

This is exactly what Chris wants. Chris takes teenagers, slaps stereotypes onto them, and puts them in front of the camera to brainwash them into being the perfect little robots for is propaganda. I went into depth before on some of the characters individually and how this relates to them, but if I went into everyone, we'd be here all day and Tumblr doesn't provide a hundred tags in a post.

The Gen 1 cast became his victims most obviously. Even when they're not in the game, they can't leave. They're stuck in a resort, or they're stuck in Aftermath. Aftermath is a prison disguised as a TV program. They're not brainwashed magically, YET, but they are psychologically raised to be contestants.

You know the story, Chris scams the victors of Island into giving up the money so everyone can participate in Action.

Huh. Action takes place on an abandoned film lot. A lot full of equipment to create the perfect film plot to take over the editing of the show. HUH. I'M SURE THAT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE.

So Chris has his materials, and now he needs the International influence to get in a good enough position to start his plan in full motion. This is why he does World Tour and welcomes two new cast members. You know, it's just a little experiment. You know, one's an uber fan of his, there's nothing going on here.

There's also the matters of villains in the show that Chris frames. I still think it's framing, but Heather and Alejandro are vital villains in all of this. Villains that CHRIS created for the show. Notice I didn't mention Courtney, who sued her way onto the show and threatened Chris's power. She doesn't count. That's why she's on the Heroes team in All Stars at first. If Chris framed Courtney as a villain off the bat, someone who threatened HIS image, it would make HIM look bad.

But back to Heather and Alejandro, I've denied that Chris rigged the game so Heather could move on. But I'd like to apologize because you guys might be right. Heather just wasn't aware of this and thought she was smart. Alejandro as well is being rigged into being a finalist because Chris just so happened to disqualify Sierra for an accident. Yeah that was coincidental. Totally.

Heather and Alejandro, right off the bat, become Chris's pawns to get people's attention on his show. In fact EVERY character Chris plans to use for this, are people who either ARE villains, or are forced to be in some way. Owen, Duncan, and Gwen. Two of them become Vultures. These characters are important.

Also speaking of a robot apocalypse, what happened to Alejandro at the end of World Tour, that Chris put him through?

OH. RIGHT.

By the time of Revenge, Chris is in a comfortable position to expand his playing field and add new cast members in to expand on his army-I mean TV show. So enter Gen 2.

Gen 2 is also in the category of being Chris's victims. They also share the same fate as the Gen 1 cast that I will get to.

The only character who has any ability in THIS cast to realize what’s going on is Dawn. She got cut off when she tried to exploit the enemy among them. BY CHRIS.

In that episode, you can assume she was going to talk about Scott, which would make sense...

BUT we NEVER actually hear what she was ACTUALLY going to say.

She could’ve very well been trying to exploit Chris. THAT’S why Chris cut Dawn off.

This cast gets to see what has come of Wawanakwa and what Chris has been doing with the radioactive waste. Obviously, this is a basis of Chris's plot out in the open and being exploited. It is HERE. Right in THIS SEASON, where Chris planned originally to start it all and start his world domination and the apocalypse he so desired.

He's turned Ezekiel into a zombie. He's turned Dakota into a monster. He's on it...

And then the police show up.

Yeah Chris's plan gets foiled here. That's why he's gone mad in prison thinking he failed.

But he still had a pawn up his sleeve to save him and get his plan into full force: Chef.

You'd think that since Chef is with Chris through and through, that Chris had brainwashed him too, right?

NO.

Chef knew this and was on board with Chris’s plan due to equal pay.

BUT Chef is starting to have doubts and is going to have a full blown redemption arc.

So Chef is someone who used to be in a war. We know that much. He also seems to recognize Izzy who has similar combat training to him. Huh...

It’s almost like they knew each other in that war!

I don’t think Izzy was in the military, if she was alive she was a baby most likely. So maybe she was part of the war crossfire and Chef is her savior, and she KNOWS Chris’s plan, thus is disgusted by Chef’s choice to side with Chris. 

Or another way, Izzy mentions reincarnation in Action. Does she know her past life and it was with Chef?

When Chef thinks he kills her in Episode 2 of that season, he says, “Not again...”

Did Izzy DIE in this war Chef was in?

More importantly, what was this war about?

Why does Area 52 have Aliens in them? Why is Chris okay with taking teenagers here?! Are the Aliens related to Chris?! Is Chris an alien, and that’s why he’s doing this?! (Probably not, but maybe)

ALSO, the challenge was to retrieve an artifact from the aliens! I WONDER WHAT CHRIS NEEDS THAT FOR! OMG ‘THE EX FILES’ IS THE MOST PLOT IMPORTANT EPISODE IN ALL OF TOTAL DRAMA...

Also wow Gwen. You gave Chris what he needed to destroy everything and everyone you love... 

Gwen ruins everything.

Oh gosh now I have to talk about Dramarama even if I've never actually watched it and never will... here we go.

SO, Dramarama as Chef as a babysitter of daycare of toddlers that so happen to be the Gen 1 cast.

Dramarama is not canon. But it IS canon at the same time. Here’s why:

The show itself? Dramarama? That’s fake. That was set up by Chris. This is ALL CGI, and a part of Chris’s scheme to brainwash people to consuming his content and act as a smoke screen for his crimes. 

But the Chef part. I think he actually DID work at a daycare, just NOT with the OG cast as the toddlers he cared for. REAL toddlers, those are what Chef cared for. This is where Chris pulled Chef out from the gutter and got Chef to work with him for a better life. No more war. No more babies. No more loud noises. There would be nothing but order and proper service if Chef joined the dark side.

And Chef is all about order and service, so yeah. See DJ stepping out of line, Chef’s gonna try and get him, and when DJ quits Action, the animal curse is a punishment to get him involved anyway.

Dramarama, though Chris’s reference for this smoke screen show, is also a factor in why Chef acts... nicer in the reboot. That show is one of Chris’s mistakes that will lead to his downfall in his plan in the reboot’s new season(s?). Chris exploited memories Chef had and what they have DONE to the teenagers in these toddler roles. It really makes a man think. 

That’s why in the reboot, if my theory is correct, Chef is going to be the driving force of the rebellion, and turn on Chris McLean in a redemption arc for him.

That stare in the reboot intro ain’t a couple stare. That’s a light side vs dark side stare.

Also going back to these toddlers... they are also robots. No getting around that. But they are also the people Chris TARGETS to brainwash into his robots as his generals.

Did he succeed with all of them? NO. He did not. I will get to these people who didn’t.

BUT that leads me to the casts: The OG cast, the Revenge cast, and the Paketiew cast.

What happened to them?

I hate to break the news to you, but the OG and Revenge cast... they don’t feel so good.

It is safe to assume that if the island didn’t sink, but Mike, Zoey, Gwen, Cameron, Heather, and Alejandro were on it at the time, then they have ALL become the first victims of Chris’s robotic plans for them to start his apocalypse.

These six characters have been KIDNAPPED, and forcefully brainwashed into robots to serve Chris. You wonder where the interns are in the reboot. THESE characters. They’re the interns now. That’s why Chris killed the interns from the executives.

Is that what Blaineley was talking about?! How many people did Chris MURDER to make this happen?!

Mike, Zoey, Gwen, Cameron, Heather, and Alejandro have all turned into mindless slaves, and are on their way to destroy everything. We have NOT heard anything from these characters and what happened to them. So yeah. They’re goners. 

Since All Stars is two years since Island and the reboot is fifteen years since island...

Yeah. THIRTEEN YEARS. This show just got a lot darker.

Have these characters aged? I don’t know. The Winter Soldier didn’t age when he was brainwashed, and the brainwashing I’m thinking of is similar to this, so...

We might not actually have thirty year olds if we see them.

BUT WAIT, THESE ARE NOT THE ONLY CHARACTERS WHO HAVE BEEN TAKEN OVER.

Ezekiel and Dakota, I think it’s safe to say they’re been taken over as well. They’re failed experiments of Chris’s plan A, and he can’t risk anything.

There’s also the All Stars cast in general who were flushed. Chris designed the toilet. He has control of it. He can very easily take over all these characters once they’ve outlived their usefulness. (I mean what else are these balloons for other than to imprison them to be brainwashed later?)

So that’s Mike, Zoey, Gwen, Cameron, Heather, Alejandro, Ezekiel, Dakota, Lindsay, Lightning, Jo, Sam, Sierra, Courtney, and Scott almost certainly captured.

Am I missing somebody from All Stars?????? Eh, I can’t think of anyone. (I’ll get to this.)

And there’s one person we can add to the certainty pile and that is Izzy.

Why? Again, Izzy KNEW. She found out about Chris’s plan right away, and acted crazy to keep him from catching on that she knew. She was going to use the show to make a plan to stop this. 

Whether or not her methods of doing so make her the good guy of an evil madman is up to you. 

Point is, her plan failed. Chris realized she knew, and had to get her out of the picture. How does he do that?

Simple. Spend the money on the hot tub and crash the plane, making Izzy get brain damage from the impact. Therefore, she can’t process herself, and she’s gone as a threat.

But is she really?

In this same episode she talks about making a time machine.

HUH. I WONDER IF THAT’S FORESHADOWING A PLOT POINT ON HOW TO DEFEAT CHRIS.

She also makes a cameo in All Stars and sees through Mal. It’s safe to say she’s been taken over. 

How did Chris even get camera’s in Mike’s head anyway?

Was Mal Chris’s original creation for his robots? Did Mal sacrifice his sanity to save Mike with the split personality?! (Well the MPD in this show is offensive either way, but for the theory’s sake, let not)

I don’t think Mike won guys...

But wait, how did Chris even get this tech, let alone perfected it?

Paketiew Island.

Here is the craziest part about this entire theory. We know Paketiew Island is a robot island made by Chris that hosts a ton of robots, almost explicitly designed for an apocalypse.

Chris filmed his OWN PLAN as a plot device to brainwash everyone into thinking the plot itself was fake and wouldn’t happen years later.

He used Dramarama to grasp that concept to the audience to shut their brains off further so they don’t question it.

This is LITERALLY the effect of that scene from the LEGO Movie.

“Wait did he just say PUT TO SLEEP?!”

“Tonight on ‘Where Are My Pants?”

“What was I just thinking? I don’t care.”

But wait, wouldn’t the Paketiew campers, who have seen this, be onto Chris anyway?

Yeah. They would.

IF THEY EXISTED.

(NOW I think I’ve lost you all)

You know WHY the Paketiew campers are SO unrealistic?! It’s because they are CGI models Chris designed to exist ONLY in that season and be used as placeholders for his propaganda. 

Yes. You heard me right. EVERY MEMBER OF THE PAKETIEW ISLAND CAST DOES NOT EXIST.

AT BEST, they are already turned robots who are spies for Chris McLean on approaching their master plan. Maybe they are teenagers who did exist and were kidnapped, BUT their personalities in Paketiew Island are ALL FAKE. DESIGNED BY CHRIS.

The ONLY fragment that does is Leonard who appears in Ridonculous Race. But it’s easy to assume he’s CGI as well as Tammy who is his copy. They are both robots by Chris, and when Don realized this, he ditched them in the desert.

Speaking of Don, he just SO HAPPENS to have the same voice as Chris in the reboot! 

And in Action, Chris could also do accents. Huh, I wonder what his REAL voice this WHOLE TIME was.

And by the reboot, everything’s perfect and Chris doesn’t have to hide his voice anymore.

So wait, Don is Chris in disguise?! 

Or are these two RELATED?!

We don’t actually get Don’s last name, which is odd for a celebrity character in this show. Or did Don change his name to hide his identity from his evil twin?!

Don and Chris are identical twins, and Don is the good twin. Don is the one who may not have realized Chris’s plans before All Stars, but when Leonard comes in, he realizes what’s going on, and needs to use his race to make a team to put a stop to McLean.

Thankfully, he has two cops on his side, and members from Total Drama, such as Noah, Owen, and Geoff.

With this in mind, these three are certainly SAFE from Chris’s apocalypse for now. These guys have aged into their thirties, and are unsure what happened to the others. Noah’s introverted, and Owen has failed multiple times to be in contact with Total Drama anyway, so it’s safe to say these two are oblivious to what happened. Geoff’s major connection was Bridgette, and he would have PTSD if Bridgette was captured, so it’s safe to say Bridgette’s okay too.

So that’s four TD characters who are most certainly safe from Chris’s plans, and once they’ve figured out everything, they COULD return to try and stop this to defeat Chris once and for all. 

There’s A LOT of great characterization that could happen here with these guys, especially with their arcs in TD itself. Noah could finally get off his butt and be a scheming hero, Owen could get revenge for his mistreatment on the show, and Geoff could be THE mentor character with the knowledge on the show’s corruption. Lord knows a LOT of these reboot characters need that.

But there’s one more character I’m putting in the safe pile, and that is Duncan.

I WILL EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW.

YES, Duncan was in All Stars, and is in prison. Surely, if Chris had captured everyone else from the All Stars cast, he has his hands on Duncan too. 

And he would have. But I said, “Everyone who was FLUSHED”

What is the ONE non-finalist-appearance character in All Stars that did not go down the Flush of Shame? Duncan.

He didn’t get flushed because he was arrested. Chris arrested him and threw him in prison instead, as Chris wanted nothing to do with him.

Well that’s stupid on Chris’s part, right? Why not just brainwash Duncan then and there? Why go through that trouble? Especially when you keep the guy around and TRACK HIM DOWN WITH A TERRORIZING ROBOT.

Chris DID have an eye on Duncan, and WAS going to add Duncan to the brainwashing pile. After all, Duncan had everything Chris was going for, a rebellious teenager with great strength, street smarts, and skills in the crime area. He seemed like the perfect minion, right?

If he was actually loyal to Chris.

Red flags started when Duncan quit in World Tour, but the kick of the bucket was Duncan betraying Chris’s storyline for him. Chris FRAMED Duncan to become this redemption arc from villain to hero. His own criminal baby is now a good guy, therefore Chris is a good guy...

And then the burning of the house happens.

Yeah Duncan wasn’t gonna be loyal to Chris, and he could get away, SO... throw him in jail. No need for him anymore.

But that would end up being a BIG MISTAKE. ANOTHER factor in Chris’s eventual defeat.

By throwing Duncan in jail, Chris made it so that Duncan AVOIDS getting brainwashed into a robot and Chris’s slave for the apocalypse. Thus, a crafty delinquent got away, and is alive in a cell, and will be released to figure out what exactly Chris had done.

...whoops.

“I did NOT think that through!” -Storks

Oh yeah, also in Canada, someone who is charged for arson can spend at least 5 years in prison. BUT I would assume Chris would want Duncan locked up as long as possible, so the maximum of Duncan’s sentence would be ten years.

Going by my calculation, what is the gap between All Stars and the reboot?

Thirteen years.

That’s really close, and definitely enough time for Duncan to be grieving in PTSD and find out about the reboot happening.

Whether Duncan undergoes an actual redemption arc or becomes a full on villain who sides with Chris, is a completely different topic.

So we have a host and five characters who know about the upcoming apocalypse, and are prepared for Season Two. With the whole season out in one day, they are ready as ever to locate and strike.

And this very reboot, is Chris McLean’s climax to his plan. By this point, the ENTIRE WORLD is dependent on reality TV, and Total Drama. Evidence is from MULTIPLE characters in this reboot.

Priya’s parents are fans who gave birth to her so she could be on the show. Her whole life IS the show. 

Millie is spiteful of the current generation and their appeals. (She’s right, y’all are just mean)

Julia is a HUGE influencer with loads of fans who praise her for being a piece of garbage like Heather. She even enjoys the idea of being called a villain. She’s AWARE of the stereotype!

Damien’s friends influenced him to join the show, which means they are fans and are a part of the scheme. Damien is a precious puppy who is too pure and he needs to be protected at all costs.

Nichelle is a movie star who is a part of television.

And Axel.

Yeah, you KNOW Axel is vital to all of this.

Axel is a part of the military and is prepared for the apocalypse. She KNOWS what is about to happen. THIS is why she tried to take charge of her team and start a revolution before it’s too late. And Chris had to shut her up by rigging her elimination. Yes, her elimination was rigged, I’m convinced. 

I don’t know exactly what they plan to do with Axel, but it’s certainly important of a role she has. 

You KNOW she’s been onto Chris when she has a cardboard cutout of Shawn. SHAWN DOESN’T EXIST.

This cast is the very last step of Chris McLean’s plan. Now that they have the groundwork for a basic TD season, they are blindsighted, and now Chris can use this new season to take them over and start the apocalypse on the ENTIRE WORLD.

UNLESS, these teenagers are actually going to be the SAVIORS of everyone. And they’re gonna be the ones to defeat Chris McLean and set the old casts free to live out normal TV-free lives.

And they’re starting to become AWARE of their situation they’re in.

Damien is an obvious one as someone oblivious to the entire thing.

MK knows how to access the tech and can see things.

Julia’s fingers.

The robotics of certain challenges.

SEVERAL FORTH WALL BREAKING LINES:

“Wait, WE’RE on TV! Does that mean we’re not real?!” -Wayne, Episode 4

And basically this entire scene in Episode 9:

“What are teams? A bunch of people that compete against each other?”

“Yes.”

“No man, they’re friends. Being forced not to be friends. And I say enough of that!”

“Is there any way to speed this up?”

“I secretly join both alliances into one big seven person alliance, and we’re voting YOU off!”

Yeah, I’m sure that SOUNDS stupid of an idea to the others. AT FIRST. It totally won’t be an idea later. (I love Zee.)

So to set the groundwork on all of this, I can briefly go over who would be the saviors, and who wouldn’t. Cause not everyone will.

Already, Axel is on Don’s side. Like I said, her role is major enough that the show has to kick her out before she can do anything. She’s the one who’s prepared for this and is the biggest asset.

I feel like Nichelle could go either way, as she’s now revealed to be a fraud under TV, which is disgraceful. She could get her fame back, or she could find a different way to be a fighter.

Damien is not aware of the game, and decided he is here to stay. This is HIS time to be a competitor for an even bigger prize: safety for everyone. Again, Damien is precious.

MK... well she clearly has skills that can help, but she also probably won’t want to side with Don. She’s a thief who does her own thing. She’s only gonna want to look out for herself.

Zee... well, I already phrased the scene. This stoner character is gonna end up being the mad genius in the savior’s side.

Julia I feel is a definite Chris side and if she gets cancelled for TD, she’d willingly give Chris her brain. Her entire life is based on her social media following with how many phones she has, which plays a contributing factor for Chris. And she’s very much aware of villains in this show, and that she is a villain. That’s her only label now. 

Millie I feel like they’re setting a redemption arc for. Yes she hates our generation, but she’s also come to value her relationship with Priya. She’s getting character development. I feel like she’d be tempted by Chris, but she’d ultimately make the right choice and side with the rebels.

Bowie... yeah I love Bowie, but I feel like he’s gonna side with Chris.

It’s mostly because of this line:

“This challenge is definitely going to be my villain origin story.”

Whether or not Bowie is actually a villain is subjective. Personally, I think he has more dignity than Duncan. However, he is aware his actions are wrong, but he does them anyway because that’s how this world works. He can’t think about other people when so much is on the line. Course, he does care about people, Raj and Emma obviously, but though he’d probably give his crown to them, he isn’t giving everyone that privilege.

After the finale, he probably would side with Chris. But I don’t see him doing that with Raj in the picture, so I think it’s more likely this line is foreshadowing him getting captured and brainwashed into a robot. 

Kinda breaks my heart to split up the gays like this.

BUT if Raj isn’t brainwashed, he could be a factor of a “I know you’re in there” moment. That could be cute.

And lastly Priya. 

Yeah Priya’s the protagonist of the reboot. In the same vein as Gwen.

If my theory is in play, Season 2 would have a Hunger Games Catching Fire ending where the protag breaks the barrier separating them from the games and reality, and the rebels come to save half of them while the other half is captured by the bad guys. 

Priya’s entire life was Total Drama and winning it. Well, she did. Now what? Sure she could do the medical school she dreamed of, but once she realizes Chris won’t allow them to leave Total Drama, she’s gonna be having an identity crisis and a half.

(And also question her parents like seriously who gives birth on a mountain at their own free will?!)

I also think her friendship with Millie is important for both of their stories. Millie is aware of this generation’s setbacks, and would definitely be aware of the setbacks of the show. Priya wouldn’t. Or, at least, she’d have a hard time accepting that. That could be interesting drama.

It could also lead to really neat interactions with Noah, Owen, Geoff, Bridgette, and Duncan. And also Sanders and MacArthur would be a part of this because, you know, they’re cops, it’s their job to take care of this. It’s like the tributes from The Hunger Games Catching Fire, but they’re actually fleshed out characters. (No offense Hunger Games, I love you)

No matter what, Priya is an extremely vital character in this story, and is gonna be the bridge in between Total Drama and real world drama. 

My last point is that lets assume the reboot is structured like The Hunger Games. Book one was the game itself. Book two was the fallout after the game and the sequel game, ending with an escape. Book three is the rebellion and the apocalypse.

We know for a fact that the reboot is getting a second season. We have zero idea of a third season, and I think it depends on how well the two seasons do. (It looks like it’s doing really well from this season alone, so I have hopes)

This supposed third season would likely be the grand finale of Total Drama, which is NOT the game, but everyone trying to overthrow the game and rescue everybody from the REAL enemy. 

This is The Walking Dead, but with robots, and with a happier ending (because kids show, we can’t end the story with everyone dead after all).

I am not even a fan of zombie apocalypse stories, but it would be neat to see this shallow TV-brainwashed world fall apart and for people to get back up again and see what really matters. 

It would be a satisfying conclusion to ALL of the Total Drama generations.

And also get Chris a satisfying life sentence in jail. It’s what he deserves, if not worse.

Now, Total Drama MAYBE wouldn’t end with this, they could do an epilogue spinoff of all the generations adapting to normal life. Kinda like Steven Universe Future. But for the main story, I think it would solidify Total Drama as THE Survivor.

BUT HEY, THAT’S JUST A THEORY. A TOTAL DRAMA THEORY.

(This is likely never gonna happen, so don’t take anything here seriously)

[thecurioustale]

I Have a Fanatical Stance on Conventions of Body Appearance in Visual Media

In the timelines where I end up making movie, TV, or video game productions of my work, I have always had a list of several defiant guidelines that I will never compromise on, no matter what—even to the point of not making the movies if it comes to it. (Nor am I kidding about that.) Here's the list:

Body size norms for male and female actors = gone. In particular, I want to dispel the ghoulish reality we live in where female actors' upper arms look skeletal and their shoulders look almost juvenilely narrow; and, on the male side, those equally emaciated male actors who look like they're being tortured just as much as the female ones to eliminate virtually all their body fat, while also being forced to have comically broad shoulders and horrifying, steroidal musculature on their arms and torsos (and sometimes thighs). I really hate to use the word ugly, because that's not fair to the people who naturally look that way or deliberately want to look that way and work to achieve it. But I will say that the norm of imposing this shit as a societal default in our media absolutely is ugly.

Body diversity = the new hotness. I don't just mean I would make all the characters fat. I really do mean "diversity": I would ensure that my casting operation selected for a variety of body sizes and types, both within and on top of any my preexisting descriptions in written form.

Female beauty stereotypes like cosmetic makeup, big boobs, and high heels = begone! Just like it says on the tin. It blows my fucking mind that still to this day our media show female characters in war zones / apocalypse conditions / etc. in full lipstick, eyeliner, lash extensions...it's just ludicrous. Makeup for the camera, which all actors receive to "correct" for the biases of being filmed, I would keep, but the cosmetic makeup as a female default is gone. Only if characters (of any sex!) would actually want to wear cosmetic makeup, and only in situations where it would make sense for them to do so, would they be filmed in it. Same goes for the high heels. As for big chests, there would be some of that on the grounds of body diversity, but it would no longer be the norm, and bra padding for size or shape would not happen (again, unless the characters themselves had in-world personal motives for doing it because they wanted it as a part of their own look; that is night-and-day different from the production forcing it onto the characters as a meta-narrative).

Height diversity = lovely skylines. There's been a long trend favoring tall actors over short ones, and male actors are always cast as or else portrayed to be taller than their female counterparts. This artificial uniformity would be gone in favor of a natural variety of body heights.

Body hair = natural by default. Characters who would actually want to wear their hear differently (for aesthetic reasons more so than to conform to social norms for the sake of avoiding scrutiny) would of course continue to do as they liked, but no longer would this be the default. Waxed chests, sculpted beards, shaved pits...it's all an artifice of social convention. Nothing wrong with it, but neither is it the natural state of our bodies, nor is it inherently superior. We need to normalize body hair in our social conscience again.

Splotches, blotches, freckles, warts, and moles = back in business! This stuff is erased for no good reason. Societies hold onto these stupid norms of erasure out of a misapplied phobia toward the appearance of "sickness," and out of a powerful bias toward conformity.

I feel very strongly about all of this, and especially about the body size stuff. I'm really not kidding or exaggerating when I say that I would not sign any movie, TV, or game contract that did not guarantee all of the above. I do not want to participate in the cultural bigotry of homogenizing human appearance. I do not want to participate in the erasure of marginalized bodies, or the lie that what is popular is also better. For me, the items on this list would be as central to the purpose of my works as the actual contents of the story.

[shejustcalledmeafish]

Behold an extensive but not complete because he does it so much compilation of John Hart’s fourth wall breaks in The Sins of Captain John (made for @4thwallbreakersshowdown but also serves as general propaganda to give the boxset a listen for Torchwood fans)

Transcript below the cut, but first an important content warning that Scene Six (timestamps marked in the transcript) has background sex noises, so just be aware where you’re listening. There aren’t any major spoilers for the boxset, though.

Have fun and Vote John Hart for Ultimate Fourth Wall Breaker!

Scene One: The Restored (0:01-0:09)

John: Or maybe, if I’d known this was an audiobook, I’d’ve bought the complete Buffy on DVD! (Heavy sigh) Well, before you go asking for a refund, let’s set the scene.

(Five seconds of John’s theme song plays)

Scene Two: The Restored (0:14-0:28)

(Background space station falling apart noises)

John: I reckon I’ve got about four hours before I’m sent tumbling into the icy black void of space which is just long enough for me to tell you [sigh] how I got here. So, strap in, get comfy, and let’s give the fourth wall a bloody good seeing to.

(John’s theme) 

Scene Three: The Restored (0:33-0:46)

Sir Thomas, dying: I pray that I shall find the gates of paradise open, and that a choir of angels—

John: Yeah, yeah, yeah, very moving. But this scene has been going on for ages and we’ve a zombie apocalypse to avert, so maybe, we should get going.

(John’s theme) 

Scene Four: The Restored (0:51-1:11)

(Faint screams in background)

John: (giddy) Plus, if this was a film or a tv show, it would look so, so cool. Cue exciting music!

(Exciting music plays, accompanied by horse snorting and galloping. The music continues to climax)

John: Heeyaw! (Whip crack) Heeyaw!! (Whip crack)

Mohisha: Heeyaw! (Whip crack)

(Horses galloping intensifies)

John, yelling: This is probably the single most visually impressive thing I’ve ever done!

(John’s theme)

Scene Five: Peach Blossom Heights (1:16-1:43)

(Background space station falling apart noises)

John: (grimly) This is it, John. Beginning of the end. (Much less grim) Or, for you listeners at home, the halfway mark. (High-pitched voice) ‘Yay, Captain Jack is in it,” I hear you squeal. Except for you, over there, tweeting angrily around your cats(?) that (nerdy voice) “actually, I think you’ll find his name isn’t Captain Jack Harkness yet” yeah, I see you. While we’re at it, strictly speaking, mine isn’t Captain John Hart either. (dramatic mock gasp) I know! But listen, isn’t continuity boring?

(John’s theme) 

Scene Six: Peach Blossom Heights (1:48-2:28)

(Genial, generic, elevator-like music plays)

John: Basically, while many listeners were totally on board for all the gratuitous sex following my previous outing The Death of Captain Jack, we received some complaints (background sex noises begin) ranging from (gruff voice) ‘utter filth!’ to, uh, (higher-pitched voice) “you people should be locked up!” So, you’ll just have to picture the scene without any of the more explicit sound effects or dialogue. (sharp inhale, voice now giddy) I mean, in reality, this went on for hours, but, who wants to hear that?

(Notable pause)

John: (faux shock) You do? Shame. Take it up with the people who wrote all those strongly-worded emails. You have them to thank. Anyway, maybe they’ll release it as a bonus disk or something. Moving on.

(John’s theme) 

Scene Seven: Darker Purposes (2:33-3:01)

John: Suppose it was nice while it lasted. I hope you’ve all enjoyed yourselves. So, why don’t you get comfy, and we’ll see how this absolute clusterfuck comes to a conclusion. …where’s the theme tune? We’re meant to have a theme tune.

Scott Handcock, irl director of the boxset: (slightly muffled as if over an intercom) Uh, is it not playing?

John: No! Scott, it’s not playing, I can’t hear anything.

Scott: (inaudible), how ‘bout now?

John: Nope. (starts whistling)

Scott: How about… now!

(Torchwood theme starts playing)

[eneablack]

okay so this is a thing about shifting that keeps me up at night

this is kinda existential ngl

anyway,, i had the idea of shifting to a BBC Ghosts (tv show if u haven’t heard of it) DR where I am one of the ghosts. it got me thinking,, that couldn’t possibly be feasible because that’d mean i was dead,, which therefore confirms the existence of ghosts as a part of the afterlife. or does the afterlife differ from reality to reality. kinda like anyone who shifts to supernatural or percy jackson or anything that involves religious figures or demons n stuffs,,, does that mean that heaven and hell or God(s) exists in those realities without question? does that mean that the greek gods actually exist in all realities or just those specific realities. do realities that contain angels and devils confirm the existence of God throughout every reality or just some realities. in that case, why are the existences of entire Gods confined to different realities (or not). referring back to the Ghosts DR,, if i managed to shift as a ghost, what would happen to me if i moved on. would my consciousness/awareness be evaporated with that reality or would my awareness return to my CR or a completely new random reality. if so, does that then also confirm the idea that when we die our consciousness shifts to a random reality and that’s why our CR feels so random and ‘boring’ in comparison to our DR??? then what about zombie apocalypse DRs,, if you forget to script that you don’t get turned what happens if u get bitten and become a zombie. you would technically be dead, so would you shift to a random reality or back to ur CR,, or would you remain trapped in the brain of a rotting corpse because you’re still ‘alive’ in a sense.

i believe in shifting whole heartedly, but there’s things like this that make me concerned that we all don’t fully understand what we’re doing when we shift. what kind of information it unlocks.

idk, kind of a long shot and everything i just wrote hardly makes sense but maybe you have some thoughts about it

in my own personal opinion i believe that every reality has a different afterlife, some may be similar to each other while others might be completely different and with zero similarities or connections. so again, as in my opinion, gods of this reality exist only here (if you believe in them ofc) and so goes on for every reality. this explains why you can shift to be a god or an entity like demon or angel and so on.

but i believe in the consciousness theory therefore i think that we created everything of this reality and others, so in this case deities too. you know, i practice witchcraft and do deity work with lucifer and anubis (while keeping contact with also loki, hermes and leviathan) and i always thought about them as higher beings but after having this spiritual awakening i realised that we created everything, so technically we created deities too, because they’re a part of this reality (which we, again, created). i’m not disrespecting any deity! i still believe in them and respect them so much. it’s just that this is pretty trippy so idk how to describe it, i hope you understand.

to answer your question i think that if you moved on as a ghost you would either shift to a different reality or be whole with the universe. i never thought of this before but i don’t think consciousness can “evaporate” or simply stop existing. and for the zombie example i think that you would simply be conscious of being a zombie.

i hope this was exhaustive 🎄

[starlightshadowsworld]

The way I invision Danganronpa v3 is that it really was a TV show.

A reality TV / murder mystery.

However it was a lot more lighthearted than you'd expect.

The effects were goofy, the blood was pink to avoid a higher rating.

The trials were less serious and killed off characters usually always came back one way or another.

It was a show despite it's morbid premise, meant to inspire hope.

It was supposed to be fun, for the cast and audience alike.

... But than the 77th killing game hit the air waves and suddenly nothing else could be watched.

And Tsumugi was fascinated, she became more and more obsessed with the show.

With it's realistic story, with it's blood and gore that even though she knew it was real she was detached to it.

When it ended, Tsumugi was horrified and desperately wanted it to continue... So she turned to her own show.

Rebooting it for a new season and drastically changing it.

The cast were unsure and some uncomfortable with their new direction.

These being the "audition videos."

But it was the apocalypse out their, it's not like they were gonna find work anywhere else.

And so it began.

Gone were the lighthearted messages and goofy effects.

Now giant executions were in place and the stories a lot more hard hitting and dark.

The viewers ate it up.

Demanding more and more gore, more and more violence and Tsumugi loved every second of it.

Her cast suffered from it.

Physically.

Mentally.

But they still held on.

Partly from each other and partly from the kind and sweet "inner voice" coming from Keebo's ahoge.

Being the voices of the audience, the people who cared and were concerned.

Something Tsumugi wasn't aware of.

However as time went on, Tsumugi grew tired off the usual antics.

And decided to make the new season, the best, the most gore filled, dark.

And so she found several neurologists who once worked under Matsuda Yasuke and had every one of the casts memories removed.

She joined the game and this time, wanting a taste up close.

And this time the deaths would feel permanent. They weren't though, Tsumugi wouldn't let her cast die.

This show would carry on forever.

It would be what Junko's killing game should have been.

... Unfortunately the inner voice would turn out to be more of a usuiance than ever.

Especially when someone got word to Makoto "I'm to tired for this shit" Naegi.

He couldn't get into the building, much like how his class couldn't get out of there's.

Tsumugi really, really studied his killing game.

But he could guide them to find the exit.

He could give them hope.

Makoto could only hope it would be enough while he tracked down the survivors.

And that's what happens when you take Danganronpa and make it yugioh arc v 😂😅

[hoodoo12]

Foul Play

If you haven’t heard of it:

“ Foul Play is a digital, immersive, improvised comedy murder mystery game from the minds of folks from Broadway, tabletop gaming (Dimension 20, Dungeons and Dragons), and comedy (Upright Citizens’ Brigade, The Phoenix). Think of it as “Clue,” but improv comedy, but “Sleep No More,” but digital. “

The one I bought a ticket for was "The True Real Life of Real Life People", a murder mystery set in a reality TV show. Alex Brightman was the "host" and many other actors including Rob McClure played characters who came back to the show for a "special reunion". Like a murder mystery party, no one had much time to prepare who they were playing and had to open cards to find out more information about themselves and the plot. Then they--and the audience--had to work to find out who killed the victim.

What I discovered it that with twelve different cameras + so many characters it is hard to solve the mystery of ‘who done it’, but it was silly fun to watch with lots of laugh out loud improv.

There’s a discord server where people can talk (mostly just repeating funny lines so no one missed them, lol) and solve the mystery. I personally gave random updates to another Beetlejuice fan who wasn’t watching it, so I’m sure it seemed super weird without context. That was part of the fun, so you get them too:

It is weird af and I don't really know what is happening, so I am just watching Alex and Rob

It is improv and as we know, Alex is really good at it 

His character is Jimmy F. Pop. Someone said, "Jimmy, fuck--" and he replied, "No one has used my middle name in so long! James Fuck Pop."

Now there is a zombie apocalypse, lol

ROB IS MAKING WEAPONS

He is going from room to room for weapons!

Now he had a sieve as a helmet and a garage can lid as body armor

Now Alex is laying in a bunkbed like he is in a coffin

Alex just said, "I am Jimmy Fuck Pop corn and I don't care"

His character has extreme daddy issues

HE IS SO SWEATY

He mistakenly called someone else Jimmy. That person called him out and he said he was recently diagnosed with narcissism

"We as men are a nightmare."

"She is a motherfucking zombie."

Now he is painting his nails for why?

NOW WHITE NAIL POLISH ON HIS FACE FOR WHY

Redneck uneducated Rob is trying to save everyone even though he "just heard his mom eat his dad over the phone."

NOW HE JUST DROPPED HIS CHARACTER AND SAID HIS REAL NAME IS ALEX BRIGHTMAN A CHARACTER HE'S BEEN DOING FOR YEARS AND IS NOW SAD HE CAN'T DO A MENAGE A TROIS

"Time for a makeup tutorial at the end of the world. Chose black. The color of anger. The color of lust. The color of ants. This will be our little secret: I killed JFK."

He just asked for a show of hands would like to eat Rob's ass

A DOUBLE CROSS?!!?!

IT'S ALL TWISTY

(I did not guess the killer correctly but that's okay. It was a fun way to watch improv weirdness on a Friday night)