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#that's different from “he's kind because he wants the best for people”
ma-yawntu · 3 days
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for you, anything.
pairing: neteyam x female!omatikaya!reader
summary: you're mad at Neteyam for some reason and he's determined to find out why
word count: 2.2k
warnings: mentions of injury and blood, mentions of parent death (father), fluffy, angst (sort of)
now playing... first love/late spring by mitski
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Neteyam’s wound was angry and red, his skin raw with jagged cuts. Your skilled hands made quick work of his injuries, cleaning the area with fresh water to avoid infection, but despite your delicacy with his wounds; something was wrong. Neteyam could tell you were angry with him from the way you kept your lips drawn together instead of playfully lecturing him like you normally did. His ears were flat against his head as you worked, your eyes refusing to look up into his despite his obvious desperation for you to give him something– anything.
Neteyam wasn’t sure why you were angry with him, sitting there wracking his brain for possible causes of your turmoil. He knew you worried for him when he attended raids with his father and brother, but you worried for everyone. Unfortunately, it was in your nature to worry. Neteyam thought it was an admirable trait but you saw it was more of a curse.
For you, it was different with Neteyam. The two of you had been close since you were children, being born mere months apart meant you hit almost every milestone together. As children, the two of you were competitive, always pushing harder and harder to be better than the other… of course it was friendly competition. As you grew up though, you found yourself caring more and more about Neteyam as more than a friend. Of course you would never tell him– he was the Olo’eyktan’s son! Future clan leader of the Omatikaya and your best friend. You were absolutely dreaming if you thought anything could ever happen between the two of you.
That logical reasoning didn’t deter your feelings though, the heart unfortunately wants what it wants. Instead of facing the reality of your situation, you buried yourself in work. Work always needed to be done around High Camp. The Sky People closed in more and more every week and their war strategies were only getting bolder. 
You worked closely with Kiri and a few other healers under Mo’at, learning to tend to the sick and injured which only seemed to increase tenfold after every war party’s return. You wanted to be out fighting like everyone else– like Neteyam. But Jake would never allow it after you lost your father during a raid; he made Jake promise to never let you out in the field and that’s how you ended up stuck at High Camp working as a healer instead of where you were meant to be. 
“You are upset,” Neteyam mumbles after almost half an hour of uninterrupted silence as you run a damp cloth over his cuts and grazes. 
“I am not upset,” your tone alone was a dead giveaway that you were kind of upset. Neteyam’s ears flatten against his hair and he curls his lips inward, electing to give you some more time before he starts prying again. 
Your shoulders relaxed as your gaze flickered to his face. Neteyam was usually pretty unreadable; a product of his upbringing you assumed. Neteyam took after his mother in almost every way and that woman was terrifying, so it made sense. But you were always able to see through it, you’d grown up learning his tells and habits, you were sure you could understand him better than yourself most of the time. 
He seemed hurt by your short attitude with him; you weren’t even sure why you were mad in the first place, maybe it was because you were stressed and unintentionally taking it out on Neteyam. Or maybe it was because he got himself injured again and almost gave you a heart attack when Lo’ak and Jake had to carry him bleeding into the healer’s kelku because he was too injured to walk himself. It was likely a culmination of both things. 
Mo’at had originally dealt with him since you, Kiri and the other healers were busy tending to the several other injured warriors. But Mo’at was quickly called away, her expertise needed elsewhere and you were left to clean and stitch Neteyam’s body back together with shaky nervous hands.
You scooped up a heaping of Kiri’s yalna bark salve, applying the waxy substance to the jagged cut you had sewn shut along Neteyam’s chest. He winced at the slight sting, his brows knitting together at the feeling he would never get used to.
“Sorry,” you mutter, spreading the salve along the cut. You weren’t sure if you were apologising for your temper or for putting him in pain– possibly both. Now seeing his face and listening to him wince made your heart hurt and now you felt bad for being sort of mean to him. “I’m… I am not mad at you.”
Neteyam’s gaze lifts to yours and you give him a flicker of your eyes before you’re back to ignoring him and dressing his wounds. Your fingers work diligently to dress the wound but your movements quickly cease when Neteyam’s much larger hand wraps around your thin wrist. You stop what you’re doing and your eyes flicker up to meet him, falling victim to his intense golden eyes.
“Then what is wrong?” His voice is quiet, as if speaking at a normal volume would somehow scare you. 
You avert your eyes, a sigh rippling from your chest before you look at him again, heart drumming in your chest. “I was worried, that is all.”
“You always worry,” he doesn’t believe your answer but he is always gentle in his prying. 
“Then there is nothing more to say,” you retort, twisting your wrist out of his grip to get back to your work. 
Neteyam lets out a defeated sigh, “you know that is not how I meant it,” he cautions.
You know you’re being slightly unreasonable right now. But he simply doesn’t understand what it is like for you to see him like that; to see his limp body be dragged off his ikran, to see him covered in bruises, dirt and dried blood. It’s a horrifying sight to see, especially when it is someone you love and cherish. Yes, you love your best friend; you’re aware of the predicament.
You know that it won’t go anywhere. Sure, you can fight, heal and hold your own but you are nothing exceptional. There are far more pretty and talented Omatikaya women who are basically falling at Neteyam’s feet. You don’t stand a chance, you’re fully aware of that and you’ve tried to make your peace with it.
You almost feel like you have no right to worry over him the way you do. He is not yours and you are not his. You are forced to put on a brave face whenever you’re left to heal his wounds and act like it doesn’t twist your heart seeing him in pain.
You dress Neteyam’s wound and quickly move to gather your materials, completely disinterested in continuing your conversation. Your days at High Camp are never ending and at this point you’re beyond exhausted knowing you still have to clean the kelku top to bottom before you can even think about leaving.
“You need rest, no strenuous exercise or movements for at least a week or you’ll split your stitches,” you sigh, organising your materials back into their original places around the kelku. 
Neteyam’s eyes follow your body as you move around, still unconvinced by your behaviour and determined to get to the bottom of it before he leaves you alone for the night. He hates seeing you upset, it hurts him when he can’t fix things for you but it hurts even more you might be upset with him. 
Neteyam groans and winces as he stands up, his hand coming to clutch his side. You spin on your heel and let out a noise of frustration, “Neteyam, I’m serious.” You’re at his side in a second, your hands clutching his shoulder and arm to help him sit back down; he’s much heavier and taller than he was when the two of you dragged each other around as kids, you notice.
You allow him to get comfortable before you attempt to leave his side only for him to grab your arm, forcing you to stop. You peek over your shoulder and he looks so upset and your heart twists at the mere sight. 
“Talk to me,” Neteyam mutters, his eyes wide and pleading. 
You frown and sigh, relaxing in his grasp and letting him just hold your forearm for a moment. Your eyes meet his and you just crack under the overwhelming presence that is Neteyam. You feel tears welling up in your eyes, your jaw aching painfully as you attempt to hold back the flood that swirls around inside you. 
“Don’t cry,” Neteyam coos, using his other hand to pull you closer and wipe your tears with the rough pad of his thumb.
You sniffle and wipe your wet face with the back of your hand, eyes averting upward to will the tears to sink back down where they belong. You don’t know why you’re crying. You’re worried, angry, tired, frustrated; everything one person under immense pressure can feel.
Neteyam waits for you to calm down, his chest aching watching you heave and sniffle, your tears betraying you as they slip down your cheeks faster than he can catch them. His hands are holding yours, his thumbs stroking over the backs of your hands to help ground you. And he just watches you, afraid to take his eyes off you as if you’ll disappear. 
“I’m fine,” your voice comes out slightly broken and Neteyam just frowns.
“You’re crying,” Neteyam retorts.
You avert your eyes again. “Seriously, Neteyam. I’m just tired.”
“Please, sevin–”
“I worry about you!” You say rather loudly. Neteyam’s mouth presses closed and all he can do is wait with bated breath for you to continue. You sigh, eyes still glassy with tears, “I do not worry about you in the same way I worry about everyone else, Neteyam… You have to know that.”
He has to know how you feel by now, surely he is not that dense– then again, you’ve known him for a long time and he can be very dense (a trait courtesy of his father you assume). 
His brows are knitted together in a mixture of both confusion and worry as he stares at you, attempting to decipher what it is you’re trying to tell him. Neteyam has always felt something for you, how could he not? But he was so sure the two of you had grown apart because of your equally strenuous responsibilities. 
“When I watch you leave,” you start, your voice slightly shaking. “I just… I never know if you’re going to come back.”
Neteyam sighs, his hand reaching out to hold the side of your face, “I will always come back.”
“My father didn’t, Neteyam,” you reply, eyes falling shut as you will yourself to stop crying, knowing how much seeing you upset hurts Neteyam. Neteyam falters at your words and sighs sadly, his larger hand holding your jaw gently. Your lip quivers as you open your mouth to speak, another tear slipping down your cheek, “I… I cannot lose someone else, ‘Teyam.”
Neteyam feels his chest tighten at the sight of your sadness. “Sevin…”
“I cannot lose someone else that I love,” you whisper, your thumb stroking the back of Neteyam’s wrist. Your gaze finally meets his and your eyes are glossed with tears as the stress and anxiety pours out of you right in front of him. 
Neteyam’s heart pounds in his chest, he knows you love him, you’re his best friend. But you’ve never said it with such sincerity before. You’ve always been special to him, the only person who seemed to understand who Neteyam was outside of being the Olo’eyktan’s son. He’s always loved you, how could he not? But it was in this moment that he realised how desperate he was to keep you. 
Neteyam’s thumb strokes along your cheekbone and you let out a soft breath, completely drowning in the golden hues of his kind eyes. And without thinking, your body surges forward, your eyes falling shut as you plant your lips firmly against his. 
Your hands find purchase on the nape of his neck as you force his much taller frame down to meet you halfway. Neteyam’s free hand lands on the lower section of your ribs, his body stiff at the sudden contact. But the kiss is over as soon as it starts and you pull away, your face flushing and eyes blowing wide as you realise your actions.
“Shit,” you curse. “I’m… Neteyam, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to–”
Neteyam is quick to shut you up when his hands reach out to cup your face and he kisses you again. His kiss is softer than yours, far more gentle than the awkward peck moments ago. He breathes hard against your lips between kisses, his body suddenly crippled with the urge to keep you close. 
Your smaller hand holds his cheek, careful to avoid the small cut along his cheekbone. You smile giddily against him and he pulls away to smile back at you, his thumb gently wiping away the last of your tears. 
“Now you really have to come back,” you whisper.
Neteyam smiles, “For you, anything.”
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a/n: i know it's short but it's cute!!
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shuenkio · 2 days
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My solace | 🎞️ yjw
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Paring: Jungwon x male!reader
Genre: Fluffy
Cw: nothing but somehow a demand?
Summary: You finally reunited with your solace
Non proof read/wc: 0.9
Eng is not my 1st lang.
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When we first met Jungwon, he was a baby, and everything that he did was give a cuteness-aggressive trigger whenever he moved.
He's smaller than most, with a round face that’s irresistibly endearing. His cat-like eyes gleam with playful mischief, making him so adorable in your eyes that you can’t help but consider him your very own little kitty.
Forever won't last being together as friends with Jungwon; you're changing schools because of your father's work, which is at the side of the city. It's kind of sad being separated from him, but before you left, you gave him a friendship bracelet as a memory.
If he missed you, all he needed to do was look at this colorful bracelet wrapped around his wrist, which could bring him back to those old days. He did cry, but he had to let you go.
Nobody would want to separate from their own friend, especially a best friend. Nevertheless, for now, he can't do anything about it, and he hopes that he will pass by you in the future.
As you hug him for what feels like the last time, his warmth envelops you. His familiar scent lingers, and you can feel a slight tremble in his embrace. This hug, this fleeting moment, holds all the words you can't say.
"We'll meet again, right?"
"Again, we will meet, Jungwon!"
"Swear it!"
"I swear, Jungwon, I hope we'll be this close again in the future!" That was the last conversation with him, which you're cherishing the most.
He is nothing but a gift from heaven that God sent to you, yet you still can't keep him and have to leave. A Memory.
Five years later, you started your life as a junior at Seoul University. It's taking blood, sweat, and tears to get in because you're applying as a scholarship student.
The sun rises up from its sleep, and your alarm clock starts to roar at six a.m. in the morning. Wasting no time, you began to prepare yourself for your new adventure as a student at the university, which will give you a different experience from school.
While making your way to the office for your schedule for the day, you accidentally bump into a taller guy. You quickly apologize for your clumsy behavior; however, when he's response back, his voice feels familiar as it's clicked in your brain and signals you to lift up your head instead of bowing down your head. You look up to see that it's your long-lost friend, Yang Jungwon.
Eventually, when you meet someone who was once your solace back in your childhood, you are left speechless, unable to find the right word to say, as if a cat got your tongue.
Jungwon didn't hesitate to show you the friendship bracelet that you left for him as the last thing for your relationship together, pulling out his hand from his pocket and rolling his wrist for you to see along with the brightest smile you've been craving.
You throw yourself on him, wrapping your small figure around his torso desperately. You're still processing what was going on, but one thing you knew was that he's Jungwon.
Jungwon is caught off guard by your sudden move as he stumbles a little, yet he still lets you hug him, and he returns back with his hand tracing down your back, too.
"I miss you, Jungone," you mumble under your throat as you still have your hand on him. You didn't care if people were staring; being reunited with someone you love is not something you should be embarrassed of.
You continue to nuzzle your face on his chest, trying to inhale his Jonh baby powder scent, but it's like it's gone, replaced by a manly perfume instead.
"I missed you too, m/n; we finally meet again!" He flashed a smile, and his dimples were still visible on both of his cheeks, giving you a nice chill that sent down to your spine in realization. Nothing had changed at all except his height.
"You gotten so big? I thought you'd stay a baby forever." You protest, narrowing your eyes in disbelief. He was at your nose height the last time you saw him, but now he's taller than you.
"People growing up, m/n, and so do I; nothing to be surprised off of you." Jungwon is giggling at your comment while he crosses his hand around his packing chest; clearly, he's working out.
"But I still see you as a baby; I'm older than you!!" You respond by placing your palm on your hip and giving him an angry look as a joke.
"Oh, shall I call you Hyung then? Lol" "Ashh noo, just call me by my name, hyung feel... old. "
Both of you are having a great time having a conversation together, with your reunited again as your promise in a delightful feeling that intertwined once more.
This time you won't leave this comfort zone ever again; you are determined to stay here, where you called home with your friend's presence, who's more than just a friend in your eyes.
"Don't leave me again, will you, m/n?" Jungwon unexpectedly said, out of topic, as he looked at you with a serious yet soft gaze, This is not a favor but a demand. You know it every time he speaks in this tone. But you don't mind about it; you will stay no matter what.
"I won't; I will never leave you again. Jungwon—"
"Never again, my solace." 
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🗣️ please mind my English! ><
🗣️Reblog and like is much appreciated ♥🗣️ crd to all pics&dividers
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t0ast-ghost · 1 day
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Season four of the boys is hitting my brain like a crowbar so I’ve got a couple more thoughts about the new episode
There’s gonna be spoilers for the episode, a bit of talk about the comics, and some only slightly bloody images, so be wary, be warned!
These are my thoughts during the first watch:
- When Butcher hit his head I actively gasped. My poor babygirl.
- I do like how they’ve made Becca meaner but essentially still her
- Frenchie. Break up with him.
- I’m glad Annie has more plot and scenes this season. I’m also glad that Firecracker is actually fucking with her. Their foundation is messy but the actual rivalry is coming together quite nicely
- “I had nightmares about that exact moment, and you can’t even remember it. It’s funny, isn’t it, how people can have such different memory of the exact same thing.” Oh my god this is such a good line. Like obviously not to the extremes of Homelander but kids can and will retain things that their parents won’t even remember. They make some parts of his character easy to understand because you can see that his actions are always impulsive and unhealthy and created by the ways he was raised and the environment he’s been surrounded by
- Okay that death was so so well done. It’s so emotional for Homelander because he’s seeing how people aren’t honest or caring until he’s threatening them. I can’t even try and decipher the “I forgive you” line because it’s so full of apathy
- Hughie and Kimiko teaming up is so special to me. I need more of them.
- HUGHIE GETTING V FOR HIS DAD??? CONFRONTING A TRAIN??? Discuss??? (There’s more thoughts later)
- Hughie saying that him and A-Train would be “good” if A-Train got the v for him is so heavy. It felt like Hughie trading Robin’s life for his dads. Or for his future? Like in order to move on he has to let go of Robin and that feels so awful
- I wanna state how easily and quickly they made me uncomfortable with Firecracker and The Deep singing. How is that so unreasonably uncomfortable?
- So uh. Yeah I’m not sure I wanna touch that scene…
- THEY PUT HUGHIE IN A SCREAM CHASE SCENE
- I literally screamed when Hughie killed him omg. This is what I’m here for omg omg my babygirl
(Here’s a behind the scenes stunt video on insta)
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- Tala is so fair for that but when is she gonna become apart of the boys family?
- I think Annie is going to blow up. Like I think she will do something really bad.
- YEA BEAT HER UP ANNIE… okay maybe not the best decision but…
- WHAT THE FUCK
- Fun fact Homelander’s birth that Barbara describes is how Becca dies in the comics
- UM UM UM UM UM so uhhhhhh I suspected that Sage needed to give herself lobotomies for that reason (wish I said smt goddamnit) but I was not ready for a scene depicting a lobotomy that also implied it was like sex to her?
- Kimiko and Annie hug <333
- Hughie forgave him… now kiss
- “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hating anybody” YESS that’s what this is about!!! How fucking contrasting Hughie and Butchers views are on the subject of revenge and superheroes. Their situations are so very different from the comics and I like that both of them are (somewhat) healing. Hughie’s forgiven A-Train and Butcher is just trying to get Ryan safe. It’s less about killing for both of them in the show which I love
- I paused to write that before the “there’s enough here to save you too” OH MY GOD NO. No no. Nonononono. No.
- Hughie’s face when getting coffee? Mwah! Give him little kiss
- HIS MOM. KNOWS. ABOUT. V!!?? I mean. They couldn’t kill off Simon Pegg. He’s Simon Pegg! Just kidding I totally thought he was going to die. I wonder if they’ll give him the same kind of quandary Hughie originally got in the comics when Butcher forcefully injected him with V
- Perfect ending for Homelander’s visit home.
Interlude:
So I haven’t started the rewatch yet but two things about some characters of the last three episodes that actually didn’t make an appearance in this one.
First off I don’t think I mentioned this in my last post but I really like what they’ve done with Noir. It’s an interesting and corporate way to bring back the character that makes a lot of sense in universe
Secondly there’s a theory I wanted to bring to people’s attention. This video on instagram has the theory that Kessler is like Becca and isn’t actually real. Which I think is really neat. I’ll take it either way but it would make a lot of sense if he wasn’t since he seems to hold a lot of negative traits that Butcher used to have and is trying to grow from
Okay I lied, third thing cause it just got brought to my attention again; everyone who is making fun of Laz Alonso shut the fuck up. Thank you. I won’t be taking criticism on this.
Onto the rewatch:
- The first shot is of different variations of Homelander’s costume. Pretty cool!
- Second shot has two pictures of Frank and Martin working in the lab with Frank’s picture framed by a newspaper thats article makes no sense but has a lot of key words and phrases (could just be gibberish idk) the title on a separate article from the same newspaper can be read as “Drama class wins award” other than that there’s also some kind of document that’s the same kind of gibberish but it caught my eye cause it says “-orthward gay” … not sure what this means…
Camera then pans down to reveal a memo and news clipping. The memo is from Barbara to the staff and talks about how anyone who breaks the confidentiality of Project Odessa will be terminated and prosecuted. The news clipping is more gibberish with the heading “Nervous system mystery revealed” by Greg Gilmore (by gibberish I mean the first couple sentences are “Had men rose from down lady able. Its son him ferrars proceed six parlors.” And then continues on like that)
- I actually love the horror movie situation they find themselves in. It’s a creepy basement lab. The security cams go out. Communication to the outside world has been cut off. Then the devil arrives in the elevator. It’s done so well, things are set up perfectly. There’s even a sign that says “All activities monitored by video camera” and a box with the words “fire safety plan” (could be foreshadowing or I’m just connecting non existent dots)
- The picture of young Homelander with the scientists. It’s so horribly terrible and amazing
- Fudgie the whale is their last meal :(
- titties ahem I didn’t really pay any attention to the shower scene last time. That’s a terrible shower head in my opinion, I don’t like the way it sprays water- OH WAIT THE WIRM IS IN HIS SPINE????? He’s also got a bullet wound in his back. He’s also got a lot of nice freckles on his back. Oh the way Becca sits on the edge and offers her hand and he reaches to take it but grasps the edge of the bathtub instead
- Hughie’s mom seems so fucking casual in the scene where they’re deciding whether to pull his dad’s feeding tubes. She’s too relaxed and almost smiling? At least with her eyes. A lot.
- OH YEAH Gen V mentioned!
- ANNIE I LOVE YOU!!! Look at her face after she burned the president!
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- Seriously though such a good Annie moment. She’s so confident with this and marches into the presidents’ office with a plan but by the end of this it’s all backfired and taken away from her. It shows just how fucking much Firecracker ends up affecting her
- I’m not going to be nit picky and go on about how Colin should’ve noticed Frenchie’s ankle because obviously he’d be checking and Frenchie wouldn’t’ve known to hide it before. But I am going to say that’s a Count Olaf ass ankle shot.
- Oh I love how it seems like almost a sweet moment between Sage and Firecracker when she says “we gotta look out for each other” but now you know Sage fully intends for Firecracker to get beat up by Starlight
- I was trying to figure out why Sage got the Deep to do her lobotomy. It’s not that Sage trusts the Deep or even likes him but I think it really is just kind of transactional for her. Like she knows what he wants and what will keep him happy, he’s the only one she’s really made a connection with other than Homelander and Firecracker, and he is not likely to want anything else from her or blab about it. Somehow he is logically the best one to do it?
- It’s great how much Annie really really doesn’t want Butcher there. And neither does Frenchie. Or M. M. Damn, my babygirl has pissed off a lot of people
- Homelander’s theme is so so good. The lone violin does something to my brain. It highlights his isolation and intimidation and fear so nicely.
- I do not know how some people didn’t know Frenchie was queer? I thought it was actually very obvious that in cannon he is bi/pan and polyamorous. Maybe that was just me…
- Just realized how this episode we have both Hughie and Homelander forgiving people. Dots connected! 😃👍 (I’m not dissecting this right now, what do you think I’m an English major?)
- I love all the Hughie and A-Train moments. There’s so much history between them and it’s so present in those moments so it’s interesting to see them have to let it go to help each other because I think they both realize that they’re both fucked up people who are trying to be good and they ultimately relate to each other in a way I don’t think either of them realizes
- Kimiko telling Hughie to let his dad die, to not use the V, is so so strangely powerful coming from her. She understands what it’s like to have V forced upon you, and to be saved by it time and time again. And although she’s now choosing it, she sees how Hughie’s dad probably won’t end up like her and will find it to be a curse
- Hughie tripping is such a loser move (lovingly) like I thought he got shot in the leg or smt but no he just trips. Like the little fail boy he is.
- I love Kimiko showing Hughie how to fight someone and protect himself and then later helping him walk away (it’s a little funny just because Jack Quaid is really fucking tall). She also gives him the motivation of ‘it’s not just about your survival, it’s about your dads as well’ she wants him getting through this and I cannot handle when the boys show care to each other especially when it’s Hughie and Kimiko
- Homelander’s need to be loved is really really really well set up in previous seasons. It’s the only thing that could control him and he doesn’t know it’s even happening for most of his life because he doesn’t know how to ask for it. The environment he grew up in wouldn’t teach him that and the environment he’s put in pushes away and punishes emotion and care. He started off wanting a family from work because it’s similar enough to the lab but no one there has hurt him yet or appears afraid of him. But as he realizes he can’t gain their care, that he can’t make a family, he leans on the fact he can take most of what he wants. But not love. Not true care.
I think eventually he begins to think there’s something wrong with him, but rather than facing that idea (the idea that he’s unlovable) he pushes harder on the idea he is perfect. He is better. Furthering his decent and pushing everyone even further away.
- Butcher and M.M’s ‘time to fill the audience in’ lines caused me to look up what an enema is. And then left the rest to my imagination. First, fuck you! Second that’s a very good device to use because sometimes not showing and leaving it to the audiences imaginations is the most horrifying (it’s their own private horror show)
- I’m looking at the scene where A-Train and Ashley catch each other and I have a feeling it’s going to play out as either Ashley betrays A-Train to win Homelander’s favour, A-Train betrays Ashley, or they betray each other. I’m fairly certain Sage knows A-Train is switching sides so I wonder if she’ll have a plan for when he gets caught.
I also have a feeling that by the end of this season A-Train is either going to die in some horrible way (maybe by Hughie, maybe Homelander, maybe Butcher even) or he’s going to betray the Boys.
If A-Train does die (pls please do not kill him please) I’m wondering how they’ll do it because his death in the comics wouldn’t make sense here and I feel like SuperSonic’s death was already an homage to that
- I wonder if Ashley’s floater will have any consequences. Like they took the time to set it up. Will Homelander comment on it later?
- The way he says “you called me squirt silly” is so so aughhh. This is probably another moment that Homelander remembers that seems so inconsequential to Marty. He was watched and humiliated all of his childhood and then he gets this one thing to himself and when someone discovers it they laugh, adding so much more humiliation. Anyway I’m um skipping the rest of this scene until Barbara shows up.
- Can we take a second to appreciate how fucking well Nancy Lenehan plays the character of Barbara. There is still so much fear to her character but there is no bullshit, there’s a lot of control in a situation where so little is available. She’s cold while still giving a kind of stern mothering vibe. She explains the situation, all the gory details as facts. Starting with “put him out of his misery” to “they were scared”, you could have left, and you were killing from the moment you were born. She knows begging will get her nowhere but she’s still very very afraid.
- Babygirl moment I will never get over. He fought for his life, he kicked and shoved and he won. How this man is alive is a mystery to me but I’m so glad :)
- Tala finally got to say what she wanted to Kimiko but the look on her face as Kimiko leaves is so.. unsatisfied. It’s not over between them, and maybe it hurts that Tala now sees her being kind and caring because that’s not what she got when she first met Kimiko. Maybe she still wants to get that ice cream. Probably not. Just theorizing about her character. Lemme know what you think
- The worm looks like it’s struggling. Maybe Butcher’s life is connected to its life?
- This episode is kind of like one gory scene to the next. You get Hughie and Kimiko killing, then Annie beating the shit out of Firecracker, then Butcher blowing up Ezekiel, and then you’re back to Homelander’s whole fucking slaughter, then it’s Colin beating up Frenchie, THEN it’s a LOBOTOMY, then it’s a nice little hug awwwe
- Barbara’s monologue. I can’t even touch on that. It’s too much for my brain but I’ve been seeing a lot of good posts about it.
- My heart is full after the Hughie and Annie scene. It is so full of love. Fuck OFF Dakota Bob.
- Hughie and A-Train sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-
- “You fucking dog wanker” actually Butcher its dog welder and I wouldn’t compare anyone, let alone Hughie, to him
- Hughie getting told by Butcher not to cure his dad is also really fucking sad. Karl Urban don’t kill Simon Pegg! Instead join the USS Enterprise-
- Daphne tries to get close to Hughie and he rejects her cause he doesn’t feel comfortable crying in front of his mom. Hughie stop being relatable.
- He’s really cute when he smiles. I get it. But he’s also committed atrocities. You cannot fix him. (Which man am I talking about? You’ll never know…)
Here’s a link to the first one because if you got this far I guess you enjoy me talking about this
I’ll probably continue talking about this so if there’s more you will find a link to the post here
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oblivionsdream · 2 days
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Hey @oblivionsdream !
I have 2 questions - bear with me…
As you know, I love your work, but have only just recently started actively engaging with it.
I actually first came across you and your Jester x knight OC’s at least a year or two ago, when a fellow DinLuke shipper tagged it with #dinluke, so it showed up on my feed. If you aren’t into Star Wars and are unfamiliar with it - that’s the romantic pairing between Din Djarin (the Mandalorian) and Luke Skywalker.
For a while, I actually thought that it was a medieval DinLuke au because there are quite a few fanarts exploring that ship in different universes (including ours) and different timelines, etc.
One of the things that lent credence to this idea was the fact that the king looks so much like the Jedi, Quinlan Vos.
The characters do also closely match the personalities that a lot of the fandom have collectively given Din and Luke on tumblr - like Luke actually being a feral mischievous gremlin underneath his serene Jedi facade, and Din actually being the more composed (and often lovingly exasperated) of the two.
It was a surprise when I looked more into it and realised that they are original characters, completely unrelated to DinLuke and Star Wars as a whole.
So I guess I’m just curious what was the inspiration behind the Jingly Menace and his steadfast, taciturn knight? Was it a song or a meme or just watching a medieval show and during a scene with a jester, you had a sudden burst of creative juices like “Eureka! Pretty jester x hot knight!”
Sorry if you’ve already answered this and I’ve just missed it while scrolling through your page.
My other question (this I know has been queried to JM himself but he nervously evaded the question) when JM is shown crying in one of the first pictures you posted of him, what was the actual reason that you had in mind behind it? Was it just simply because his attempts to get the hot mysterious knights attention had thus far been unsuccessful (from his perspective anyway) and he succumbed to a private moment of vulnerability?
Every time I look at it, I’m dying to know!
Anyway, love you! Hope the JM comic is still on the horizon at some point - coz I would buy and read the crap out of it!
Hey there!
I honestly had no idea what DinLuke is though I've seen the tags. My knowledge of Star Wars comes from whatever I have absorbed against my will being online and when my best friend made me watch the prequels a few years ago 😂
So Jester solely came to be because I've loved jesters for many years at this point. I just find them fun but there's never enough content for them out there so I just wanted to make my own oc. I also just love trickster characters- anything fae like or I always adored Loki in Norse mythology so he's very based into those kind of mischievous vibes and humor.
Augustine was purely accidental. I saw some Tumblr post about a knight or maybe it was about a jester and a knight (I no longer remember) so I thought it would be funny to doodle Jester with a random knight being a menace asking him about his big sword. Augustine was never supposed to be a character. But then I just kept coming up with other ideas for Jester and this random knight whose face he never saw and whelp here we are.
Soooo the crying. It was definitely a private moment no one else was supposed to witness. Part of something I find interesting with playing with Jester's character is the idea that sometimes the seemingly happiest and funniest people are also the saddest but they just cover it up with a smile. His backstory before coming to the castle is still something that affects him but also he feels lonely at court. He constantly craves the validation of attention he didnt really get as a kid and is constantly surrounded by people but also he feels very lonely in court. He is in a strange place of being neither noble but also not quite a commoner/servant. Nobility will look down on him and not take him serious because he's just a silly guy but the servants are wary to get too close because of his close relationship with the king and the fact that he technically has a higher status as Court Jester. He is one of Monty's closest confidantes but his own secrets keep him from being fully honest with his king. It's a strange place of feeling alone in the middle of a crowded court where everyone sees his silly jester persona and make up but no one sees beneath it.
I still hope to make a comic! Just trying to find the time to get all my ideas in order. Thanks for liking my silly guys!
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acanthawrites · 19 hours
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Found on quora - don’t ask me about my google searches, sometimes in the middle of a the night I just need answers.
Why do fandoms ship SasuNaru?
SHORT ANSWER: because Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is the most developed of the entire manga and because Kishimoto doesn't know how to write good female characters.
A LONGER ANSWER NEEDS TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT MORE DETAILS.
The two presumed love interests of the show, Hinata and Sakura, are more often than not, shallow lovesick girls who didn't do anything to really build up their relationship with Naruto and Sasuke. Hinata was always hidden behind a tree stalking him, keeping the distances, even when Naruto needed a friend more than anything else. She was “shy", ok, I get it, but her attitude is incredibly annoying, especially since she had such a good introduction. She could've been so much more than a cute girl serving as human shield when the narrative needed her to.
Sakura chased after Sasuke all the time, confessing her love left and right, but she never really took into account the guy's feelings towards her. When she was little, she even asked Sasuke to bring her with him to carry out his revenge plans. Naruto, even as a young boy, never contemplated such a choice, because he wanted Sasuke to be happy and healthy and he knew that, by severing all his bonds, Sasuke would've fallen into darkness and despair even further. That's the difference between the obsessive kind of love showed by Sakura and the completely selfless kind of love showed by Naruto. Even to this day, Sakura is merely chasing after her adolescent crush. She didn't even have the time to actually get to know Sasuke since, after the war, the guy was away from the village for 2 years, then when they reconnected he almost immediately impregnated her and after 1–2 yrs at best, he went MIA again, on a super secret mission that prevented him to return home even once in 9 yrs… He couldn't write trivial letters to his family, but was in contact with Naruto all the time, communicating crucial Intel for the village (sharing classified info isn't supposed to be more difficult than writing personal stuff to a wife?). Sasuke didn't even recognize his daughter's face when he saw her... So much for a beautiful love story! At least, Naruto and Hinata actually spent time together, before becoming husband and wife and after, as a family with two beloved children.
The point is: had kishimoto written his female leads a little bit better, their role as realistic love interests would've been more widely accepted and even welcomed. There's no particolar need to “ship” two male characters together, so if many people do it with this particular “couple”, is because Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is far from being the mere byproduct of trivial fetishization.
Now, clearly shonen manga aren't, usually, concerned with pairings and relationships; nobody really wanted or expected romance to be the main focus of the story, but kishimoto spent a hell of a lot of time describing in fine details the love between Naruto and Sasuke, filling the narrative surrounding them with symbolism and tropes usually found in romantic literature. Just to mention some:
Spiderman horizontal “kiss" (after Sasuke collapsed at the end of the first VOTE fight);
thinking about the other in bed, or under the starry night sky with a hand on the chest, wishing to be reunited soon;
declaring the intention of dying together;
Noticing the compatibility of fire and wind as elements that always amplify and compliment each other;
Begging on the knees, in front of the Raikage, to avoid the other’s execution;
having a full blown panic attack at the thought of the other being executed;
Never giving up on saving the other even when everybody else already did;
I could go on, but the point is:
Why did Kishimoto portray this relationship in a purposefully ambiguous fashion?
There isn't a clear cut answer even after years. It's possible that the author liked to '’troll” the audience by leaving some suggestive images here and there… Heck, he even drew a wholeass front-page with Naruto and Sasuke wearing necklaces with each other's face on them! But simple fan service doesn't cut it for me. I don't think it was just that.
Kishimoto decided to write a love story from the beginning to the end, however it was a platonic love between two people of the same sex.
It was platonic because Kishimoto never stated anything different: his original idea of making Naruto and Sasuke a couple is just fake news spread by a Spanish forum that became viral for obvious reasons.
It wasn't even a brotherly love, however, since Naruto himself said that, despite the whole reincarnations thing, he is not Ashura and Sasuke is not Indra. Their relationship is unique, infact, it didn't end in tragedy like the other ones. They didn't grew up as brothers from the start, they learned to love and understand eachother through years of suffering and pushing-pulling.
Naruto is Sasuke's most important person, his one and only… while Sasuke is for Naruto the ideal he always attempted to reach. Their relationship is perfectly balanced, because they push each other to be better, neither is the doormat of the other, while their marriages are very unbalanced, with passive and submissive wives who see them as Gods.
So in the end, this love story between two men is something bound to create confusion among the fans. Kishimoto didn't avoid to make things complicated and allusive since the very beginning of the manga (two rivals kissing is obviously just for comedic purposes, but it definitely set the tune for other events. Sasuke even remembered this kiss when he was convinced Haku had killed him, almost as it was an episode he actually gave some thought to). It's all a matter of interpretation: fans can see more than just a friendship or something different than brotherly affection because the author purposefully drew/wrote questionable situations/dialogues. However, it was never Kishimoto's intentions to make SasuNaru a canon couple. Especially since the next gen needed to be created and two gay men can't have biological children togheter anyway.
Sasuke and Naruto are soulmates and they don't need to share a carnal relationship to be the best love story of the manga.
At the end of the day, I think this was Kishimoto's plan all along (or at least since Sasuke's introduction): writing about the most powerful kind of love one can think of, capable of surviving everything, even unrelenting hatred.
People can easily see this concept as something else and I myself would've loved a NaruSasu ending, to be quite honest, but what we need to refer to, while discussing this kind of topics, is always canon material. Canonically, Naruto and Sasuke are two heterosexual males, married with children.
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commsroom · 23 hours
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happy birthday! ive been meaning to ask for a while if you have any spare minkowski thoughts, just in general. if not, are there any other characters in w359 that you see as trans or queer?
thank you!! sorry for not getting to this one on my birthday; i've been trying to come up with some minkowski thoughts for you, but i'm not sure if they'll be new!! one of my favorite things about minkowski is how much she really, truly has "guilty pleasures" in the most typical sense. when emma sherr-ziarko said the track name "minkowski watching 50 shades of gray with a tub of ice cream and enjoying it nonironically" informed her perception of the character, etc. i love that. all of the best characters are self-contradicting in very real and human ways, and minkowski has a ton of that. her love of musical theater gives us such insight into her interior world; she treats so much of her life like these separate, practiced "roles" to play, as if there can be clear divisions between them.
minkowski is a great leader, but she's not a natural leader, and - in fact - everything that does ultimately make her a person worth following is completely at odds with how she tries to lead, or how she thinks it's supposed to be done. i think she was in a dozen different clubs in high school, but didn't really have friends. i think she could get really into historical reenactment (and i would love for eiffel, hera, and minkowski to go to a ren faire - i think they'd all enjoy that, but for very different reasons.) i think minkowski earnestly believes in the concept of a "cheat day" and marks when she allows herself to eat a whole bunch of ice cream on her calendar - this is horrifying to eiffel, but she finds it sincerely motivating. i think minkowski's interior decorating sense is at least 30% more "live, laugh, love" than anyone else around her would be able to take seriously. she's the kind of person who needs everything in her house properly labelled and put away in the same place every time. eiffel is the kind of person who leaves everything out, all over the place, and forgets it exists if someone puts it away. making them live together is hilarious. i think minkowski likes romcoms and hallmark christmas movies; she's easily moved by very sappy media, and very defensive / embarrassed about that. she's used to being mocked for her taste, and for how it goes against her image as a career military woman. i do not think hera would share her taste in movies at all, but minkowski + hera girls' night is very important to me.
what else... oh!! i've talked to my friend @hephaestuscrew a lot about minkowski's parents, and i agree with the assessment that they are probably... pretty laid back? like, the kind of people who encouraged her to be whatever she wanted to be - the pressure she puts on herself to make something of herself is the kind of person she is, and a message she got from the world at large more than her parents, i think. her dad's first name has an anglicized spelling as well, so i think there's something kind of... well, there's something that rings true about minkowski trying to hold onto these parts of her heritage that her parents aren't as concerned about. koudelka's a czech name; we don't know anything about him, but i wonder if maybe she made that connection with him at least partially because they were both american children of (at least one) eastern european parent(s) in paris. and her mother is french, she learned french before she learned english, but we don't really know if she spent time in france before that. there's a sense of displacement to that.
(as for the other part, well... i'm not sure! obviously jacobi is gay, and i would generally agree lovelace and maxwell are as well. i think eiffel is technically bi, but he's straight culture bi. i think it would be difficult to get minkowski to really examine her sexuality. whatever kepler's sexuality is, i think he's done his best to close himself off from any sincere desire. my thoughts on hera's sexuality would require a whole other post, but obviously i read her as trans. there isn't really anyone else i think of as trans, but that's not to say it's impossible - they're mostly military or military-adjacent people born in the 70s and 80s; by and large i think they're coming to these topics of identity from a different perspective from those of us on tumblr dot com. but i think doug eiffel is one of the most cis characters i can imagine.)
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chnt-confessions · 2 days
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i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.
we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)
also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3
(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!
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tatatatatara · 10 months
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Me seeing posts that say Kaneki is kind: well yes but actually no
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vigilskeep · 4 months
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Whenever I think about your Keir I think about Bethany telling Anders he reminds her of Malcom. I’m sure that won’t ever affect Keir ever.
bethany is my favourite mage bc she never misses with that psychic damage
but really he and anders aren’t even a thing in act 1 so it’s less like “PLEASE stop comparing my crush to our father” and more like “oh fuck off i spend my entire life trying to act like our dad and one (1) mage rolls up and suddenly he’s dad??”
#the bethany anders keir weirdness about malcolm is so real#because bethany says ‘you remind me of him (generally positive)’ in act 1#but in later acts i think she’s still seeing the same thing just with a different uhhh mindset#seeing the way her dad wanted her to be something she wasnt and strive for something she was never sure was worth the sacrifice#how he tried to make decisions about what was best for other people. how he risked lives etc#whereas anders also has his own perception of malcolm which i think is quite... idealised#it means a lot to him that a mage raised a family that loved him. and hes envious of it#but thats definitely a standard anders is making up. if anders and malcolm really met we’d have to cast a barrier between them within five#minutes. for their own safety.#whereas keir in some ways saw a more complete version of his father from the beginning#but he also believes those more uhh flawed abrasive damaging sides are necessary. of course he does he repeats them#his father may not have been the easiest man in the world to live with but he always did what he had to#and kept his word and held himself to the same standards as others#but oh wait here’s the legacy dlc with the steel chair—#anyway my point being that u get these 3 in a room and theyre talking abt 3 entirely different malcolms. carnage#i dont think it would naturally occur to keir to compare anders to malcolm#but hed be like. ‘i GUESS?’ when bethany said it#honestly anders one of the things that’s kind of disillusioning abt malcolm bc like#i mean say what you like about my man anders but he was never all talk#not to dismiss the courage it took for malcolm to escape & raise a family#but thats one thing. insisting on using your abilities to help people & to go BACK for those still in the circle is kind of another#a lot of dialogue implying malcolm talked a big game about mage rights#but apart from raising a daughter who hates herself what did he actually do.#sorry thats mean but you see my point#and its not just justice that makes anders like that. sure he was more scared and hopeless about the circle#but his instincts are to help. you wouldnt catch malcolm going back to help against darkspawn even when told to run#and my malcolms also. gruff. stoic. serious. a man of few words. he does not do bits or tell you about his cat#if keir hears bethany compare anders to malcolm and at all agrees it’s not really anything about personality#he’s saying yeah i guess anders does seem like a good mage and a good man. thats the only commonality he would jump to#these tags got incredibly away from me
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speedyowl152 · 2 years
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Something i find fun, if Adrien and Félix are sentimonsters, is Adrien's feather allergy. Aside from the dramatic irony.
An allergy is where the body incorrectly labels an object as a threat, and the immune system reacts, or even dangerously overreacts, in ways which could be threatening to the person it's trying to protect.
If Adrien is a senti, then he's made from a feather, that's his soul. His allergy is targeting something that is already part of his being and biology. That means it's not an allergy, it's an autoimmune disease.
Allergies are genetic, as are predispositions to autoimmune diseases, and Adrien and Félix are genetically identical, though we don't know if Félix shares his allergy. It's possible it hasn't been activated yet. His odds of developing this could be heightened by a bunch of factors; illnesses, food, sunlight.
I'm excited to see if he'll share it or not, if being around duusu will be good for him (someone who understands, to befriend and vent to like Plagg is for Adrien) or bad for him (y'know, a health hazard).
Adrien having an autoimmune disease, maybe he's on immunosuppressants, maybe he's not. I think that could further explain some of Gabriel's actions, not justify them but make them make a little more sense.
After all, the feathers are in the rings, maybe that's a small part of why he hasn't been given his yet. Maybe it's part of why Gabriel has so little physical contact with him, he could give his kid a rash or worse.
If your kid has a weakened immune system and your wife is dying or gone, trying to keep that kid inside, reducing his and your own contact with people, especially other kids - because kids spread diseases like wild fire. I get it. It makes me feel really bad for them. Adrien doesn't even understand what his father's protectiveness is about, besides just losing Emilie. And Gabriel can't even begin to have that conversation with him without everything coming out. About why his feather allergy is such a big deal, about papillon and his wife.
Anyway I'm just thinking about how he ended up letting him go to school. About how he let Nino give him a party but absolutely would've been advising for it to be outside in the open air rather than letting a load of strange children into his clean house.
He really wasn't that bad of a dad at the start. But Nathalie's right, he's getting worse and worse. And I'm worried about how he'll cope and what he'll do without her, now that Adrien is the only close person to him that he has left. Beyond whatevers going on with Tomoe anyway.
#i dont like villains who are evil because theyre evil. theres always logic and understanding behind it#and i like how with miraculous you only need a few hcs for the villains to make sense and be human#chloe and lila are messed up from the absense of their parents. chloes spoilt and lonely#and lilas learnt she can manipulate her way to whatever she wants because her parents dont care enough to check. shes lonely too#and she gets rewarded everytime her manipulation works in her favour. its why she keeps doing it.#she makes friends the only way she knows how when she feels so different being constantly uprooted and neglected#félix has his life and freedom under threat. hes been working from the start to free himself#all while watching lb & cn destroy his kin everyweek. as his uncle controls his brother and keeps making new sentis to be sent to die#and gabriels the kind of person who simply cannot be trusted to hold power alone. and fundementally misunderstands other people#he doesnt know how to empathise and now he wields an emotion detecting miraculous he never needs to try.#its making him more and more self centred as his confidence is continuely knocked by children and time continues to pass without emilie#and hes managed to find a way to become even more alone#and nathalie just wants to do her best by the agrestes because shes come to love this family as if it were her own#and now shes realised enabling gabriel has only made things worse for everyone involved#i just. i like that stuff where theres logic beyond revenge on an accident or just sheer malice#where there isnt one root of all evil character#ml spoilers#ml s5e2 spoilers#ml s5e1 spoilers#evolution spoilers#multiplication spoilers#sentimonster theory#dont come at me to tell me im enabling abusers or being ableist or something okay#i literally have an autoimmune disease. i literally had 5 diseases at once last week.#i hate crowds and im crushingly lonely living in the closet at my parents#i will kin adrien and shove headcanons on him with hope itll end happily when they win as much as i please and you cannot stop me#hes immunosuppressed too i just called it ive manifested it get absolutely fucked#i wanna go to school/work and make friends and gain the courage to slowly claim back my identity for myself#and i will live that through a fictional 15 year old cat boy if i want. fight me.#own post
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violetclarity · 11 months
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my best friend is moving in with his boyfriend and I am Not handling it super well so real grown-ups of tumblr, how do you deal with it when a good friend has a long-term, serious partner who you think is...fine?
#I've not had to deal with this before because all of my partnered friends are with people who I either#a) genuinely like as people or b) do not feel bad about disliking#this man is fine? he treats my friend well but I personally would never choose to hang out with him if they weren't dating?#like I don't know what my friend sees in him#and I'm also not sure what he sees in my friend#not in a 'I don't think my best friend is worthy of love' way o b v i o u s l y#but they started dating fairly soon after the partner got *divorced* and it kind of seems like#he just really wanted to be in a serious relationship again but like. with a man instead of a woman.#but my friend also never talks about his feelings so I have no real insight into his pov!!#I'm kind of concerned about his logic but he also processes things way differently than I do and y'know it's not my life#so I'm sure it will be fine#also part of what I am having trouble with is definitely that I never thought this friend would *be* in a serious relationship#and there are some minor betrayal feelings happening (especially bc he's moving an extra 20 mins away from me booo)#(why you'd want to move from a cool place near things to a boring place in the boring suburbs is beyond me but I digress)#but (despite my friend's preferences) I'm going to be seeing a lot more of the partner now that they are living together#and I'd like to get to a point where I actually like him maybe?#that may be too tall of an order. where he doesn't actively annoy me??#the man once tried to devil's advocate brittney greiner being stuck in russia I don't think I can be blamed for being annoyed lmao#that feeling when you think all your friends deserve The Absolute Best In The World when it comes to romantic partners#so you get pissed when their partners don't seem to recognize their amazingness
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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years
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                   Tuvok “If you know that I’m lonely” - FUR
#I think this particular verse + chorus combo reminds me of Tuvok#but I couldn't draw that much so here's thiiiissss#thinking about how Janeway is Tuvok's only friend aboard Voyager and how he seems to have a habit of pushing people away#and how the only other person he became close to in the earlier seasons - Kes uhhh fucking....ascended#and of COURSE...how he misses his wife/children#loneliness and love are what I associate with Tuvok#Tuvok#st voyager#I love Tuvok so much dude#he's much more introverted than other Vulcans I've seen...and very stubborn about it..he keeps people at such a distance while also#being helpful towards them when they need it...but like the second they just wanna hang out with him he's like 'no'#I think the kind of loneliness he feels would be much different from human loneliness....if T'Pel and his children are like parts of him#then the second he entered the delta quadrant he was decapitated five times over#there's something very Tuvok about the singer saying that whoever's reaching out to them could never understand their loneliness because#they don't /know/ them...when the person seems to actively be /trying/ to get to know them...but the singer doesn't feel it's worth it#because they don't know them...it's a lil lonely paradox#and it's so sad that EVEN THEN....the BEST case scenario if you do prove that your thoughts are 'all holy'....the VERY BEST thing that could#happen is that he'll PRETEND that you know him (like you've always wanted to)#which again reminds me of Tuvok ... no one can /know/ him in the way Vulcans know each other...the way his family knows him#I love reading too deep into things so hop into my scuba with me please#okay so sometimes I think about how Tuvok is so gung-ho about mindmelds and I wonder if it's like...almost a comfort to do them#to have someone in his mind - to be known for a bit the way he's been known for decades by another#and it's not healthy literally at all but no one on Voyager can tell that v_v#Tuvok doing an alley mind meld with a weird criminal being akin to a terrible one night stand that you get into just because you can't sleep#alone again#which is also why unfortunately 'sex is good' by saving abel is tangentially a Tuvok song...but ONLY if you have my weirdo deep sea glasses#I also wonder if Tuvok's emotional regulation is a bit out of wack due to T'Pel not being there...like I'm sure he derived some comfort from#there bond and depended on her when like...idk man he had a bad day and he can't talk about it with anyone BUT her because it's /emotions/#Like Zac Oyama said: 'Sometimes when someone dies they were the person you wanted to talk to about it'#Tuvok missing T'Pel and only feeling able to talk to T'Pel about it - fuck.
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lordofthestrix · 1 year
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Lucien: Uh, just a tick. Aurora has Rebekah, hmm?
Aurora: No reason why I shouldn't be trusted with my sire's safety. Lucien: [scoffs] Of course... unless you were to have one of your episodes.
Tristan: Easy, Lucien. My sister sought leverage to protect herself. Who among us would do otherwise?
#Tristan's pov:#She stole her from me and I'm not offended.#Would you kindly put on your muzzle?#Tristan is very complicated when it comes to Aurora. There is quite a bit of inner conflict there#On one hand he is overprotective beyond the nine circles of hell.#And he hates Aurora playing where there are so many immortals stronger than them.#And yet...He also defends what he calls her “right to take charge of her fate” Not once not twice but trice. All times to different people.#And in opposition this is reason number 767 why he would never take Lucien's crush seriously.#From Tristan's interpretation Lucien is sort of similar to...Gatsby without the charisma.#He has these fantasies about impressing the girl he wants by placing the world at her feet.#But he doesn't truly want Daisy. He merely wants the idea of Daisy he fabricated inside his head forever ago.#And he lashes out to the point of offense whenever Aurora doesn't conform to the script he has for her#He refuses to admit she is the kind of Daisy who...Kidnaps Rebekah.#Tristan exists at this strange point where he is sometimes the one reassuring Aurora she is indeed that person. And that's just perfect.#He “has no doubt she can burn the entire world to dry the oceans”#She “should remember she can do anything.”#But simultaneously he is still going to be insanely worried and murderous about Aurora suffering a bruise whenever she massacres a city.#Because she is just so much more important to him that everything else that surrounds her. And he doesn't know how not to be.#Even the infinitesimal possibility of anything bad happening to her awakens his best and his worst.#Out of eternity
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leatherbookmark · 2 years
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actually yknow what, yeah jgy’s relationship to the Atrocities he committed IS interesting! it’s just that people are so fucking annoying about them,
#like the tingshan he sect extermination? so fucking unnecessary#and like. 'i warned you over and over again' maybe that's exactly what he wanted to avoid! knowing that jgs would have no scruples ordering#a whole sect thrown to become xy's enrichment#he su was right! jgs Was after becoming wrh 2.0! but in such a situation literally nothing could have been done#even if jgy nobly and heroically refused... he'd die. jgs wouldn't even kick him out of the sect -- despite how powerful the jin sect is;#jgy with his knowledge of jgs's plans would be simply put a threat. he'd die and then he'd be dead and jgy really Really doesn't want to#be dead. therefore: gestures.#like... the sheer Difference between jzx -- beloved best dad and a wife guy but above all a human equivalent of a soggy french fry#what are his political opinions? what kind of a sect leader would he be? what does he think about his father's policies? WE JUST DON'T KNOW#he's perhaps the blandest of the great sects' young masters. he was born blindingly rich and privileged -- all that built on other sects#suffering in whatever meaning of this word; because i don't believe jgs was a benevolent ruler who gave to the poor with a generous hand#-- and he. either is unaware of dgaf. and then you have jgy who has/stands by and watches as people are fiercecorpsified alive#For Nothing. as in i assume there was Something with a jin cultivator -- from what he su says there Was something -- but it was obviously#just a situation artificially engineered for this exact purpose. it's actually fascinatin; the way it all works#because it's... almost 1:1 what the wen/wlj do. fabricate an excuse (wwx being mean to wc/one of the jiang shidis playing with a kite#that looks like the wen symbol) -> intervene -> extreme retaliation in case the offending sect doesn't agree with the intervention#though llj have perfected it because they didn't even 'intervene' as much as 'captured the whole fucking sect'#~60-70 people. this also makes the question of jrs's death so interesting because if you look at the steps above it all checks out!#except it feels a/ needlessly cruel and b/ too...  smart? calculating? for someone who's decided to keep sisi alive out of sentiment#on top of that... the timing...  it just Doesn't Fit for me!#but if you don't approach it from this angle it just really creates a whole neat vortex of 'hhhhhhholy fuck llj is SO unnecessarily cruel#and horrible and for what! for what!!!'#good luck a-ling!! good luck buddy.#good luck.#shut up shrimp
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ALL CLOTHING IS SEXIST AND ANTI FEMINIST... WE CAN'T WEAR ANYTHING BECAUSE THAT IS HOW THEY ALL ARE... WE HAVE BEEN ABUSED THE SAME ASWELL... TRANSPHOBIC DOCTORS STRATEGY IS TO SHAME YOU THEY DID THIS SO MUCH... THEY WANT TO HURT YOU... BTW MAKE US TRANSITION WE LIVE IN FINLAND FREEZE OUR LITTLE ONES AND GIVE US DIY HRT...
#Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Acceptance Love Compassion Diversity Feelings Emotions Funny#Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Hello Kind Woman... Come To Us... Omg Hello Progressive Feminis#Come To Us... Anime Writing Autism Adhd Tourette Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim#Abuser Psychosis Bipolar Scizophrenia Suomi Finland Finnish Hieno Kaunis Hullu Kiinnostava Anna Trans... Meidät Satutetaan... Our Abuser#Joined Them Too... When You Really Think They All Shamed Us Together... On Purpose... Fitting For Her Too... That Wants Us To Believe We're#Shamefull And Must Change For Being Too Crazy Disabled And Lgbt She's Already Said This... Even Called Us The R Slur...#I Can't Believe We Lost Them... They Hated Us... Despised Us... Never Cared About Us... Never Will... Only We Care About Ourselves... Nobod#Else Does... That Is Excactly What Happened. Suddenly I Remember. She Truly Loves All Those Terfs They Have The Same Agenda. She Can't Even#Tell The Malice They Have. Meanwhile. When That About Her Fake Woman Rights Suddenly That Is Absolute Instead Of “Just A Different Point Of#View“ Because She's A Terf Herself Simple As That. We Have Always Been Far More Progressive To Be Able To Tell. She's Bodyphobic Despite He#Huge Existance That Is... Pathetic... She's All The Bigoted Things... All Of Them... Despite Everything She Is... What A Missed Opportunity#OMG!! AN ABUSER BIGOT ATTACKED US THAT WAS INSANE!! THEY'RE GOING TO MURDERER US BECAUSE WE!! 😱!!!! KNEW REALITY...#THAT IS THEM THAT OPPOSED US THEM THAT ATTACKED US... WE ARE ALWAYS VICTIM ANY SITUATION... MAKE US TRANSITION... OTHERWISE YOU'RE AN ABUSE#BIGOT... OMG THAT ABUSER TURNED OUT TO BE SANIST... THAT WAS ALWAYS OBVIOUS... VERY SCARY... NOTHING PROGRESSIVE ABOUT THAT IN ANY WAY... A#WE ALWAYS KNEW... WE ARE SMART WE ARE GENIUS ONLY WE SHOULD BE LISTENED TO... MAD PRIDE IS EVIL AND BIGOTED WITH NOTHING PROGRESSIVE ABOUT#THEM... ALL THEIR CONSERNS WERE ALWAYS WITH THE PATHETIC NEUROTYPICAL... NOT THE CRAZY PEOPLE... THEY REJECT MENTAL CONDITIONS... WHILE#VILLANIZING PEOPLE WITH THEIR QUALITIES... THEIR PROVEN ONLY BEING BOHH A NEUROTYPICAL COULD BE MISDIAGNOSED 😢... NOT THE ABUSE CRAZY#PEOPLE EXPERIENCE... WE SAW THEM... HOW EVIL EVERYTHING WAS... NOBODY... WILL EVER UNDERSTAND... WE HAVE SEEN SO MUCH... NOBODY ELSE EVER#WILL SEE THE SAME... AND DESPITE THAT WE AREN'T LOVED AND APPRECIATED... WE DESERVE BETTER... WE ALWAYS DID...#EVENTUALLY EVERY SINGLE GROUP WILL CARE ABOUT US... BECAUSE TO CARE ABOUT US DOESN'T EXCLUDE YOU BASED IN ANY DIFFERENCE... ONLY EVIL...#NOTHING ILL ABOUT US... WE ARE NORMAL WE ARE CENTER... THAT IS ABUSER BIGOT THAT ALL ARE OTHERWISE...#WOKE SMOSH AND WOKE MARVEL BEST FOR BOTH BOTH KILLED BOTH RUINED BOTH START OUT ASS#THEY'RE BOTH WHAT WE WANT TO AND LIKE WATCHING FOR BOTH... THE FUN ONES WITH MORE DIVERSITY... THAT WANT US THERE MORE THAN THE OTHER 2...#THAT ARE BOTH MADE FOR THE WASTE THAT WEAPON THEM AGAINST PEOPLE LIKE US... YOU SHOULD LIKE WOKE TOO.#THIS MAKES YOU NORMAL. ONLY A BIGOT WOULDN'T BE NORMAL. DON'T GET CONFUSED WITH WHAT ISN'T NORMAL HONEY <3!!!#BECAUSE ABUSER BIGOT HAVE CHANGED THE MEANING THE MEANING WE MADE... AS ALWAYS...#GOING AGAINST... FORSAKING US... MOTHER GODDESS ANGEL SISTERS AND PRINCESS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION... AMAZING FEMINIST ADMIRABLE NARCISSIST.#THE WOKE ERA: THE BEST OF BOTH MARVEL AND SMOSH... FACTUAL INFORMATION... LOVE US... ACCEPT US... YOU'RE MINE TO CONTROL...#ABUSER BIGOT WILL SEE YOUR MOST TRUEST AND HONEST FEELINGS THERE ARE AND REJECT THEM... AS LONG AS THIS HAPPENS YOU ARE THEIR VICTIM...#IF ALT RIGHT PIPELINE IS SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE HAVE WENT TROUGH HAVING EVERYONE BE OTHERWISE BRAINWASHED MAKES SENSE ONLY...
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neverendingford · 9 months
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#got knocked off my gourd last night. it peeled back some layers that I've already learnt to pull back.#tag talk#I of course took two edibles when I should have only taken one. because I do not do anything by half measures#any deeper thought feels like a fake deep like in a dream when you have a conviction but it's not real.#we split into two though. for a moment. he was watching a movie and I was fixated on a corn dog for like.. what felt like an hour#mostly my sense of time went to shit. everything in the past stopped existing so even speaking was hard because that requires forethought#how can you think about what you're going to say when you can't remember what you just said. a sentence is a linear construct#I just really wanna get fucked while high now. that would be wild as hell#I'm a fan of roller coasters. you get on and strap in and you have no control over stopping the experience until it's over. you just hang on#it's how I prefer to drink too. load up quick and ride it out. I don't want to ride the line as a static waveform.#I want to dive too deep and hold my breath until I surface.#I still had rational thought of course. I asked a friend about boundaries before talking about a few subjects.#I thought about frying bread but recognized it was not a safe smart thing to do in that state.#I kept a no-spill water bottle close. had a snack.#idk. very fun experience. but it feels kind of dumb to talk about it to people. it was such an internal experience. best experienced alone#like. very private. but like. not in some bs spiritual sense. I'm not trying to make it sound like I saw gods or anything.#I already know what I think and what I care about. I already love my friends and care for myself. but looking at it from a different angle.#it felt familiar though. cause like. being dissociative is something I'm pretty well used to. not as much anymore though which is good.#but yeah. I already knew how to be careful and direct my body even though I wasn't in the control room#muscle memory and habit carried me a ton through the experience.
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