#that's where it gets messy but it's not always the idol so let them live too

[writtnbyhan]

NFWMB.

PAIRING: bang chan x female!reader

TAGS: protective chan, idol!chan, non-idol!reader, established relationship.

WORD COUNT: 1945

PROMPT: person a gets into a heated argument with someone. person b starts threatening them, so person a picks up person b and carries/drags them out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

warnings: what the prompt says, lol — arguments (not between chan and reader). very very minor violence (arm grabbed), bruising, swearing. Let me know if I missed a warning.

author's note: well, baby's first post. I really hope someone likes this ? my goal is to participate in nanowrimo in my own way so expect weekly posts from yours truly. I was nervous about what to write about bc of it being my first post but I needed to write something or I'd never do it. starting with chan feels right, though I wish I can get to write more fluff soon 😭 this was fun tho! I really like protective and possessive chan<3

You didn’t intend for him to hear. Mostly, because you thought you could handle things on your own, but also because you knew it would somehow end up like this.

You have been visiting the building where the boys work for as long as you remember being in their lives. It’s not your fault, given that they spend almost every waking moment there, working. And the one whose time was taken the most by it happened to be your boyfriend. It was a Saturday and he was working, which wasn’t uncommon, but it also wasn’t healthy. You let it slide sometimes, when you knew time was pressing on him and he needed to be there, for his own peace of mind. But everything was ready for the comeback, there was absolutely no reason for him to spend his weekend locked up in that so-familiar room.

So, you did the only logical thing: went there to drag him out, knowing only you where capable of doing so. No amount of puppy eyes from his kids could do what you could with just asking — you were his girlfriend, after all, it was expected that he’d have a soft spot for you.

You felt the problems creeping on you as soon as you stepped foot in the building. There were new people there, new workers. You hated when new staff started working, because they were still too nosy, and because they would ask too many question, some of which you wouldn’t be able to answer without one of the boys by your side to prove your credibility. It was okay, though, you could only imagine how many girls could go to the front desk and claim what was your truth — “I’m looking for my boyfriend”.

Luckily, the girl at the front desk, Sun Hee, already knew you. She only smiled at you when she saw you enter the building, and her tired smile should’ve been warning enough. You walked to her with a matching smile of your own, she knew you were there to pick up a overworking boyfriend, but you still needed to sign your name in the records.

“hi, lovely! what’s got you tired today?” you asked, curiosity so strong you couldn’t help asking.

“new staff’s first weekend. sometimes I wonder how they got hired in the first place”, she answers truthfully, sighing. She sends you a look you know it’s a warning — beware, idiots walking around feeling entitled!

You sigh, too. That’s going to be troublesome, especially today.

“hope I don’t get to met them today, at least until I find Chan. The boys didn’t warn me, or I would have brought one of them with me”

She showed a sympathetic smile, nodding.

“Prince charming is on studio 3, same as always”, she rolls her eyes playfully.

It says something about your overachieving boyfriend that not only the staff knows where he is all the time, but also that you have almost made friends with said staff. God, you needed to convince him to spend less time working.

After thaking Sun Hee and promising to chat more later, you walked to the elevator, setting to find Chan. You could amost picture him — black hoodie, black beanie hiding his messy curls, and headphones in. You smiled at the image in your head, a much too familiar one, one you loved so much.

Smile still present in your face, you stepped out of the elevator on the corresponding floor, checking different doors that had lights on. You were here to pick up Chan, yes, but you didn’t rule out finding Hyunjin or Felix overworking themselves too. The blondes were quick to follow their leader to the building any day, claiming they always “needed” the extra practice. Jeongin would be just as annoying as they were to you, if it wasn’t for his baby status, which meant everyone took a little more care of him (Minho more than anyone, checking that the boy didn’t overwork himself regularly).

Of course, checking every room as if you didn’t know where you were going to may have looked suspicious, you will give the man that. You were glad he was doing his job, just — well, maybe you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe he was.

“Excuse me, miss, who are you and where are you going?” He was at least 30 cm taller than you, and he was almost as buff as Changbin. You weren’t intimidated at first, you knew your presence had been cleared for, you had a right to be there, and you had got through the entrance desk, so he must know you were allowed there, right? Maybe he was just trying to help.

“Oh, hi! I’m Y/N. I’m looking for my boyfriend and checking to see if one of his friends is here as well”, you explained.

He stepped closer, almost invading your personal space. You took two steps back.

“Who are you looking for?”, he was eyeing you as if you were suspicious, a threat even. You, who was dressed in a skirt and probably looked like a mouse next to him.

“My boyfriend”, you repeated, “Christopher Bang Chan. He is in one of those studio rooms”, you added matter-of-factly.

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to escort you outside. You shouldn’t be here.” The man said, loudly, like he wanted to be heard. Ah, you thought, he is one of the new ones. It was common, you have seen it happen one too many times — new staff is always trying to prove themselves as good.

You smiled, though you were a little intimidated now. After all, you were alone in a hallway with the man who kept getting closer.

“Why is that? I am allowed here”, you tried to keep calm.

“Look, I don’t know how you passed the front desk, but fans should not be inside the building!”, the man yelled at you, his arm reaching out until he could take you by the wrist, his hold tight enough to bruise.

“Hey! You’re hurting me, stop it. Let me go!” You started struggling, trying to force your arm out of the man’s hold.

“Stop fighting or I’ll call security”, he threatened. You were about to tell him to do so, you’d wait by him until security came there and showed the man that your info was in the system and you were, actually, allowed there. You didn’t get a chance, though, for your boyfriend’s voice reached your ears as soon as the man stopped talking.

“You let her go or I’ll call security myself”, Chan’s voice showed his anger, and as he got closer you saw the determined look in his eyes that made you worry a little. You didn’t doubt Chan was capable of hitting the man if he didn’t let you go right now.

The man, apparently, didn’t notice that, for he did not let go of your wrist.

“I’m so sorry, sir, I’ll have her removed from the building immediately, I don’t know how she got inside.” He was tugging at your wrist, to which you kept quiet. If you expressed how much it hurt, the situation could escalate more than you wanted it to.

“She got inside because she’s allowed to. Now, I said: let her go.” Chan’s voice was ice cold, almost spitting the words at the man’s face. Finally, your arm was free, and you rushed to take your own wrist so as to cover the red marks, evidence of the strong hold the man had on you.

“Why doesn’t she have a pass, then?”

“She doesn’t need one because she’s not a guest. Did you even care to ask about that or check the system? You know, that type of irresponsible behaviour could get you fired — you can’t just go around the building threatening and grabbing people by force!” Chan’s voice got louder near the end.

“It’s okay”, you quipped, putting a hand in Chan’s chest as an attempt to calm him down. He was protective, you knew as much, but he was also a lovely person who you knew didn’t want to get anyone fired. Still, you knew he’d do something like that for you if you asked for it.

That was a wrong move, apparently, because it meant letting him see the marks on your arm.

“what the fuck?” his words were whispered, but it was obvious the anger that came with them. “Man, what is wrong with you? You should have checked before bruising her arm like that! What gives you the right to decide who is and isn’t allowed here?! That’s the front desk’s job, if she’s on the fucking third floor, then I think it’s fucking obvious she passed security. I need your name for I will have to file a complaint about this, grabbing someone like this is violent and no excuse of security can make it right because you are not supposed to even touch here — if you think she is not allowed here, you call security, you do not bruise my girlfriend’s arm.”

Chan’s voice is loud, and he is so close to the man you could tell it is some kind of threat, or maybe show of strenght. The man’s jaw was tense, as if he was ready to argue with the idol himself. You looked around the hallway, not knowing what to do or how to stop this. The man that had grabbed your arm clearly felt too entitled for his own good, and you worried that he might try to turn things physical.

Lucky for you, he didn’t even get a chance to answer before you heard a door open and close quickly, someone rushing out of one of the practice rooms.

You think you have never been happier of seeing the freckles in Felix’s face.

“Chan, everything okay?” sunshine boy asked, putting his arm around you as soon as he was close enough. His voice seemed to get Chan out of whatever state he was in, for he took a few steps back, still not breaking eye contact with the other man.

“Yeah, this dude just grabbed y/n’s arm and bruised her wrist because it’s apparently his first week here and he already feels too entitled.”

Felix looks at you, looking for something in your eyes, before getting closer to his friend.

“Okay, let’s go grab our things and go home to see if she needs to put some ice on her wrist”. He doesn’t let Chan answer before taking his hand with his smaller one, intertwining his fingers and almost dragging him out of there. You’re quick behind them, taking Chan’s other hand to give him some peace of mind.

Felix looks back at you and you smile in thanks. You know your boyfriend is way too protective, but a situation like this had never happened before. It’s good to know he’d do anything to defend you, but you still didn’t want him to get in a physical fight in his workplace.

“Don’t you dare think this gets any of you out of the hook for working on one of your free days, boys.” You reprimand them, hands still intertwined while entering the studio. Chan’s calmer now, his cheeks blushed with what you guess is something akin to embarrassement; you know he doesn’t like getting like this, but sometimes his emotions overpower him. You kiss his cheek, deciding to not comment on the subject until he does so himself. After all, you achieved what you came here to do — collect whichever stray kid had wandered their way to work on a weekend and get them home.

[idyllicidols]

Cheat Day.

Another request. I forgot if the person wanted to stay anonymous so I'll leave them out to be safe. Something different with it being third person, but it felt needed with the content.

TW: gangbang

***

Wonyoung was always expected to be perfect. Her days were filled with endless rehearsals, rigorous diets, and sleepless nights. She yearned for a life of freedom, where she could make mistakes and be herself. Her long awaited day off was under commencement–and mistakes were definitely going to be made.

Three of her most dedicated fans, handpicked by the dollesque idol herself, received a private DM from an unknown account with a time and address. They were apprehensive about the message, but the never before seen photos piqued their curiosity.

The room was dimly lit, the only sound being the soft hum of the city outside. Wonyoung, clad in a silk robe, stood before them, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. She took mental notes on each one as they introduced themselves.

"Donghyun." She recognized him as a man who had been to nearly every concert and fan meet–his loud screams often heard over all the other fan chants. The messy haired boyish man looked like he just got off work. A disheveled suit with his tie loosely knit. Now that he was in such a private setting, he looked at her with an innocent admiration.

"Minsoo." The hottest of the bunch. His right arm covered in tattoos, his hair perfectly sculpted, but not greasy. He gazed upon her as if he already knew what she had planned. If the other two failed, she could depend on him for a good time.

"Junho." A recognized community member. Almost her whole fandom and group members knew of him. Her most dedicated fan. At every event, making sure to capture her in the perfect light. His fancams were the most popular, some even doing better than official recordings. A casual friendship had grown, and this was her way of showing her appreciation.

Her voice was steady and confident as she spoke, "Tonight, I'm not an idol. I'm not a performer. I'm yours, to do with as you please."

Junho and Donghyun exchanged astonished glances, their minds racing with the implications of her statement. They couldn't believe the woman they had idolized for so long would offer herself so freely. But Minsoo smirked expectedly.

Junho spoke up, "Wonyoung, we can't take advantage of you like this. You're an idol, and we're just fans."

Wonyoung's expression turned determined. "You can't deny me this. I've been living this life..always holding back, always being the perfect idol. Tonight, I want to be something else."

Donghyun joined in, "But you could ruin your reputation."

Wonyoung's voice hardened, "I don't care about my reputation. I want this. I want to be used, to be fucked."

She looked to Minsoo, her eyes pleading. She was right, she knew she could depend on him to get things rolling.

"If you're sure, Wonyoung, we can't deny you anything."

With a sultry smile, Wonyoung nodded, "I'm sure."

Minsoo undressed her slowly, untying the knot to her robe. She let it fall off her shoulders, the light from the window acted as a spotlight to her perfectly slender naked body. She was a tiny, delicate thing, but one with fire burning within her. The other two watched in awe as his hands roamed her body while his tongue explored her mouth.

He easily lifted her up and tossed her on the bed, his kisses trailed down from one pair of lips to her other. His hands were rough, their movements urgent and demanding.

"You cucks going to just watch or join in?" Minsoo aggressively berated the other two men into action.

Donghyun was the next to act, seizing this rare opportunity, kissing and touching wherever he pleased. Wonyoung moaned in pleasure as the two men grasped at her body. But she couldn't help but feel bad for Junho.

"Join us sweetie…" She called out to him. "... You can record this too if you like, just make sure you keep it to yourself…" flashing a sly smile.

That was all it took. Junho set up his camera, then joined in on the fun. He knew he would never get a chance like this again, and wasn't going to miss out.

Without another word, the three men moved in unison, Minsoo between her legs, Donghyun and Junho each taking one of her breasts in their hands and began to fondle them gently. Their thumbs brushed over her already sensitive nipples, sending shivers down her spine.

"Oh, god," she gasped, her head falling back as she felt a sudden rush of pleasure wash over her.

"Is that good, baby?" Junho asked, his voice filled with concern and desire.

She nodded, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps. "Yes, it's so good."

As the men continued to pleasure her breasts, their hands moved in a rhythmic pattern that had her on the edge of ecstasy. Minsoo was gifted at his craft, his tongue danced against her wet folds.

"Oh, God," she cried out, her body trembling with pleasure.

His tongue moved in slow, deliberate circles, the pressure building with each pass. Wonyoung's breath caught in her throat as she felt the pleasure growing, spreading throughout her body until she was sure she couldn't take any more.

And then, suddenly, the pressure was gone, and she was left feeling empty and wanting.

"Please," she begged, her voice pleading. "I need more."

Minsoo smirked, knowing he had Wonyoung right where he wanted. He spread her legs wider, revealing her sensitive, throbbing clit to his waiting mouth.

"Oh, fuck," she gasped, her hands clawed at the sheets as pleasure washed over her once more.

Minsoo began to suck on her clit, his tongue moving in rhythmic, deliberate motions that had her body convulsing in pleasure. Then the final nail in the coffin, his middle and ring fingers dug into her wet quivering pussy. Squelching sounds echoed out with his fingertips constantly brushing her g-spot.

"You're gonna make me cum!" she screamed out, her voice strained and desperate.

Her body tensed; involuntarily trying to fight off the pressure that was overwhelming her system. But the other two held her down as they continued to explore her body. The pressure built in her stomach had nowhere else to go, a stream of sticky clear fluid shot out of her, her strongest orgasm in months taking over.

"Oh, god," she gasped, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own pleasure. "It feels so good."

An orgasm that intense should've left her helpless, but this was her only night of escape. Her animalistic desires insatiable, she rose from the sheets, her thin body covered in sweat.

"I'm gonna ride your fucking cock."

Wonyoung demanded as she pushed Junho on his back. He watched as the idol he's fantasized about so many times slowly lowered her mess of pussy onto his cock. It was better than he could ever dream, so tight and so warm, he never could have imagined how good she felt.

"You're so tight." Junho cried out.

He had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. But it got even better, she planted her feet and started bouncing up and down. Her sopping wet pussy glided easily-massaging his shaft with her moist caverns. She screamed in ecstasy, the first real cock inside of her in months felt better than any toy–it was a living thing, with its heat radiating inside of her.

It was hard to know who was having a better time - Wonyoung finally letting loose or Junho feeling the tight walls of his dream girl squeezing his cock. She was lost in ecstasy, the feelings of hands on her body almost forgettable.

Minsoo was there to give her a stark reminder. Wonyoung gasped when a strong force pushed her forward, making her turn around in surprise. Then she felt something hard pressed against her asshole, the tight ring on her virgin hole clenched in resistance.

"What are you – AH!" Wonyoung cried out before she could finish her question. A predictable result. There were three men and she had an accompanying hole for each. But what she didn't expect was for it to happen right off the bat. No preparation; no fingers or toys - just Minsoo's hard, massive cock breaking past her defenses in one fell swoop. Drool started leaking from her mouth, the intense feeling of getting fucked from both ends beyond her wildest dreams. Cries of pain filled the room, Wonyoung stretched out further than she ever thought possible. You would think she begged for them to stop, that the pain was too much to bear...

"Fuck me harder!" She screamed out, the pain of being fully engulfed by cock reminding her that she was alive–washing away months of the stressful idol life.

It was a sight to behold, Minsoo aggressively fucked the blabbering idol. His hands gripped her hips, holding her in place as he drove into her with relentless force. It was a stark contrast to Junho, feebly thrusting upwards trying to keep pace. Wonyoung moaned, her head flailing as she felt her insides being stretched and filled. But soon they got in sync, fucking and stretching out Wonyoung's body at perfect intervals.

"Is this what you want, you filthy whore?" Minsoo growled in her ear, his hot breath sending shivers down her spine.

"Yes," she gasped, "Fuck me."

"Hey Donghyun, why don't you keep her quiet before the neighbors complain."

Donghyun was like a perfect little pet, listening to everything anyone told him. As he stood up and pressed his cock against her lips there was no hesitation. Wonyoung opened up her lips and sucked like it was a popsicle. Now she was truly filled, a cock in each orifice, her body being used for greedy desires. It was only right, she worked so hard to stay fit, it would be a shame to keep it hidden away and locked up.

Donghyun was perfectly content standing there while she sucked and licked. Wonyoung however was not, grabbing the back of his thighs and taking him deep in her throat–a jolt of pleasure blasting through him every time she let a muffled moan vibrate against his cock. Actions spoke louder than words, her desires clearly obvious. His hands tangled in her long hair, thrusting his hips, fucking her face with the intensity she craved.

As the men continued their relentless onslaught, Wonyoung felt her body being torn apart, her mind filled with pleasure and pain. She could feel the cocks pounding into her, stretching her, filling her completely. Her moans and cries filled the room, echoing off the walls as the men continued to use her.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum!"

Wonyoung was in no place to protest, a cock in her throat keeping her from replying. Nor did she want to, wanting nothing more than the feeling of hot cum filling her up.

"That's it," Minsoo grunted, "Take it all."

Minsoo was the first to concede–a thick stream of hot cum painting her insides. He slid out from behind her, her gaping ass leaking down to the sheets. He grabbed Donghyun, pulling him away. Wounyoung heaved in relief, finally able to breathe without a cock pounding her throat.

"Clean up my mess." Minsoo demanded. Wounyoung's relief was short-lived–opening up her mouth, happily sucking the cock that just took her anal virginity. Donghyun stared at her asshole with intrigue, kneeling down behind her. She smiled in response, feeling him pressed against her puckered hole. While her mouth was amazing, Donghyun longed to fuck something much tighter, and there was nothing tighter than Wounyoung's ass.

Junho had surprising stamina, his fingers biting into her sensitive flesh as he pinched and twisted her nipples. Wonyoung writhed above him, her body on fire with pain and pleasure. She could feel her own orgasm building, the pressure in her pussy and ass growing unbearable.

"I'm going to cum," she gasped, "Oh, God, I'm going to...ahhh!"

Her body trembled as the orgasm ripped through her, her muscles contracting as she was filled to the brim. That set off a chain sequence–her contracting body milking every shaft inside of her. Luckily for her, all the fans were just as insatiable as she was–knowing this was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

She was tossed around like a ragdoll, her tiny body fucked in every position possible, her tight holes nothing but a dumping ground for cum. They were like a well oiled machine, switching positions and holes, making sure that she always experienced something new. The only time one of her holes wasn't being fucked was when they needed to recover. Donghyun and Junho grew bolder as the night went on, fucking her with a ferocity that almost matched Minsoo.

The men continued their assault, their grunts and groans filling the air as they emptied themselves into her. Wonyoung's cries echoed in the room, a plethora of hands and tongues covering every inch of skin–three cocks stuffed in her holes, giving her everything she could ever ask for. She was reduced to nothing more than a living, breathing, screaming orgasm.

The sun was starting to rise, and the men pulled out, their spent cocks dripping with cum. They stepped back, leaving Wonyoung sprawled on the bed, her body covered in sweat, her mouth, pussy, and asshole leaking with cum.

Donghyun was the first to leave, he had to return to work within the hour. Junho turned sheepishly shy, embarrassed at how he lost control fucking his bias, collecting his camera. She smiled at him knowing he would forever cherish that footage. Donghyun and Junho bowed when they left. Forever grateful for this experience their faces flushed with pleasure, their hearts filled with gratitude. They had experienced something that most could only dream of.

Minsoo stuck behind, his fingers buried inside Wonyoung until she forced him to leave. She thanked him for starting things right, pulling him in for one final kiss before he left.

Wonyoung laid there, panting and trembling, her body sore and aching. Forget dance practice, she would be lucky if she was even able to walk. But as she stared up at the ceiling, she couldn't help but smile - she had found a release she had been longing for, a release that would fuel her performances, her passion, and her life. She couldn't wait for her next day off.

[maddyjones2]

On not idolising creative people

In the wake of the various recent allegations involving Neil Gaiman, people have been both very sad that someone who they looked up to as an inspiration has, allegedly, turned out to be something less than entirely admirable, and are now looking to see who is now left that they can rotate into the spot of “the good dude,” i.e., that one successful creative guy who they think or at least hope isn’t hiding a cellar full of awful actions. One name I see brought up is mine, in ways ranging from “Well, at least we still have Scalzi,” to “Oh, God, please don’t let Scalzi be a fucking creep too.” Which, uhhhh, yeah? Thanks?

I have many thoughts about this and I’m going to try to make sense of them here, as much for myself as anyone else, so this may be messy and discursive and long (seriously, 3600 words, y’all), but, well, welcome to me. So, ordered by how these things come out of my head:

1. Stop Idolizing Creative People. Creative people are easy to idolize because they create the art you love, and that gives you permission to feel things, and to see yourself and your desires reflected in that art. That is a powerful thing, and from the outside, it can feel like magic, and that the people who do it are tapped into something otherworldly and admirable. Plus, they often get to have cool lives and get to know other cool creative people. They do things that are removed from the day-to-day aspect of a “normal” life, and they’ll even post about them on social media where you can see them. Sometimes, independent of their art directly, they’ll speak about their life, or life in general, and they’ll seem wise and considered and kind. I mean, what’s not to like?

But please consider that this is all an extremely mediated experience of this person. The art is the edited and massaged result of hours and days and weeks and months of work, into which the work of many others is also added. My novels originate from me, but it’s not just me in there, nor is the final form of the novel an accurate statement of who I am as a person, not least of all for the simple reason that I am not trying to tell my story in my novels. I’m creating fictional characters, and the world in which they make sense, for the purpose of the story.

Despite how it might look from the outside, this is not sorcery. It’s years of experience at a craft. It’s not magic, just work. A completed novel (or any other piece of art) won’t tell you much about the specific, day-to-day life and inclinations of the individual who made it, other than a general nod toward their competence, and the competence of their collaborators. Likewise what you see of their lives, even from the illusorily close vantage of social media, is deeply mediated. Lives always look admirable at a distance, when you can only see the lofty peaks and not the rubble at the base — especially when your attention by design is pointed at those lofty peaks. There’s much you don’t see and that you’re not meant to see. The vast majority of what you’re not meant to see isn’t nefarious. It’s just not your business.

Now, before I was a professional creative person, I was an entertainment journalist who spent years interviewing writers, directors, movie stars, musicians, authors and other creative folks. Since I’ve been on the other side of the rope, I’ve likewise met a huge range of creative people from all walks of life. Please believe me when I assure you that creative people are just people. Richer and/or more famous? Sometimes (less often than you might think, though). Prettier and/or more charismatic? Especially if they’re actors or pop stars, often yes! But at the end of the day they are just folks, and they run the whole range of how people are. By and large, the day-to-day experience of getting through their life is the same as yours. Outside of their own specific field of work, they don’t know any more about life, have no more facility for dealing with the world, and have just as few clues about what’s going on in their own head, as anyone else.

They’re just people. Whose work is making the stuff you like! And that’s great, but that’s not a substantive basis for idolizing them. It makes no more sense to idolize them than to idolize a baker who makes cookies you like, or the guy who comes and trims your hedges the way you want them to be trimmed, or the plumber who fixes your clogged drain. You can appreciate what they do, and even admire they skill they have. But holding them up as a life model might be a bit much. Which is the point! If you’re not willing to idolize a plumber, then you shouldn’t idolize a creative person.

(“But a plumber doesn’t make me feel like a creative person does,” you say, to which I say, are you sure about that? Because I will tell you what, when my sump pump stopped working and the plumber got in there, replaced the pump and started draining out my basement which had an inch of standing water in it, that man was the focus of all my emotions and was my goddamned hero that day. My plumber that day did more for me than easily 90% of the great art I’ve ever experienced.)

Enjoy the art creative people do. Enjoy the experience of them in the mediated version of them you get online and elsewhere, if such is your joy. But remember that the art is from the artist, not the artist themselves, and the version of their life you see is usually just the version they choose to show. There is so much you don’t see, and so much you’re not meant to see. At the end of the day, you don’t have all the information about who they are that you would need to make them your idol, or someone you might choose to, in some significant way, pattern some fraction of your life on. And anyway creative people aren’t any better at life than anyone else.

Which brings up the next point:

2. Fuck idols anyway! People are complicated and contradictory and you don’t know everything about them! You don’t know everything even about your parents or siblings or best friends or your partner! People are hypocrites and liars and fail to live up to their own standards for themselves, much less yours! Your version of them in your head will always be different than the version that actually exists in the world! Because you’re not them! Stop pretending people won’t be fuck ups! They will! Always!

This sounds more pessimistic about humans than perhaps it should be. When I say, for example, that people are hypocrites and liars, I don’t mean that people take every single opportunity to be hypocrites and liars. Most people are decent in the moment. But none of us — not one! — has always lived up to our own standard of behavior, and all of us have had the moment where, when confronted with a situation that would become an immense pain in the ass if we stuck to our guns, or demanded the inconvenient truth, decided to just bail instead, because the situation wasn’t worth the drama, or we had somewhere else to be, or whatever. We all choose battles and we all make the call in the moment, and sometimes the call is, fuck this, I’m out.

Every person you’ve ever admired has fucked up, sometimes really badly. Everyone you’ve ever looked up to has secrets, and it’s possible some of those secrets would materially change how you think about them, not always for the better. Everyone you’ve ever known has things about them you don’t know, many of which aren’t even secrets, they’re just things you don’t engage with in your day-to-day experience of them. Nevertheless it’s possible if you were aware of them, it would change how you feel about them, for better or for worse. And now let’s flip that around! You have things about you that even your best friends don’t know, and might be surprised to learn! You have secrets you don’t wish to share with the class! You have fucked up, and lied, and have been a hypocrite too!

You are, in short, a human, as is everyone you know and every one you will know (pets and gregarious wild animals excepted). And all humans are, charitably, a mess. This doesn’t mean there aren’t good people or even exemplary people out there, since there are, along with the ones that are, charitably, a real shit show. What I am saying is that even the good or exemplary people out there are a mess, have been morally compromised at some point in their lives, and have not lived up to their own standards for themselves, independent of anyone else’s standard for them.

One of the aspects of being an “idol,” I think, is that higher standard that other people expect of you — that in every situation where the aspect they idolize you for is in play, you will act in a manner that is right and correct by their standard, which of course you will likely not know about because you don’t actually know them (or often know that they exist). This is, by definition, an impossible standard to be held to — you didn’t agree to it, or to engage with it — and an impossible standard to hold other people to without their direct consultation. Every human made to be an idol is destined to fail at the job. You don’t even have to have feet of clay! You just didn’t know you were on a pedestal to begin with.

(This does not excuse shitty action. The fact people should not be idols in the first place is not exculpatory for the choices one makes on one’s own. If you’re sexually assaulting people, or being a racist or sexist or homophobe or other flavor of bigot, or using your situational power coercively (as just a few examples), then hell yes you are going to be called out on it. And to be clear, it is not unreasonable, to put it mildly, to expect people not to sexually assault other people, or not to denigrate other humans for being who they are, etc. But this only adds to the point about idols, now, doesn’t it. You don’t know what you don’t see, and you don’t know what you’re not seeing, until it is hauled out into the light one way or the other. If it is hauled out into the light at all.)

I don’t think anyone should idolize anyone, ever. It’s not great for them, and it’s not great for you, they probably didn’t ask to be idolized (and if they did, holy shit, fucking run), and in the end unless you’re so completely wrapped up in their lives that they have no secrets from you — which is never — you don’t know enough to make that call. People do it anyway, and then disappointment happens, but they shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Stop idolizing people. It’s not fair for anyone.

What to do instead? Enjoy their work, if they’re a creative person. Appreciate the kind and good aspects of their life that you can see, and the decent actions they undertake in public, with the knowledge that what you see of them is a mediated and elided version. Understand that we all have a different version of ourself for every person we meet, and that every person we meet has a different vision of ourselves in their head, and very often, those two versions are not the same. Like them, based on what you know of them! Love them, if it comes to that. And when and if you learn something new about them that you didn’t know before, let empathy guide you to a new understanding of them and what they mean to you.

And now, taking all of the above into consideration:

3. Absolutely 100% do not idolize me. I don’t deserve to be idolized because no one deserves to be idolized, but also, holy fuck, I do know me and I’m a mess. There have been lots of things in my life that I’ve done that have not been admirable or kind. I can be petty and shitty and competitive and cruel. I am lazy and inattentive and when I let things slide (which is often), I end up jammed up on my responsibilities, which makes me irritable and no fun to be around. I have a temper which goes from zero to sixty almost instantaneously; if I’m not actively paying attention to it, I can become a sudden, unreasonable rage monster, which is a burden to people I love, and I hate that fact about myself (pro tip: don’t travel with me, the rage monster comes out a lot then).

I can be controlling and demanding but I want other people to handle the details, i.e., executive asshole. I am strategic in a way that can be bloodless. When I’m insecure I brag a lot, which is unflattering. If you cross me, I won’t go out of my way to make your life miserable (that would require effort on my part), but I will absolutely enjoy when you take a literal or metaphorical tumble down the stairs. God knows I’ve enjoyed the failures of the people who have spoken ill of me, almost as much as I’ve enjoyed the fuming, spittling rage they’ve felt when I’ve succeeded. I spent years cultivating a snarky persona online and while that was fun (for me), I’m increasingly aware that when the tally is added up for Who Ruined the Internet, I’m not necessarily going to be where I want to be on that particular ledger.

And these are only the bad qualities of mine I wish to admit to you at the moment. There are others, I assure you.

So, yes: Who wants to idolize me now?

“But you seemed so nice when I chatted with you online/met you at the convention/saw you at that one place that one time.” Well, thank you, I’ve been in the public eye in one manner or another for three and a half decades now and I understand my assignment; my public persona is friendly and engaging and sociable and mostly fun to be with. It’s not a fake version of me — I am all those things! Honest! — but, again, it’s a mediated version of me designed not only to be a positive experience for the people who meet me but also to get my actually introverted ass through a whole day of events at a convention/festival/book tour/whatever. When I’m done I collapse into an introverted hole. When I came back from Worldcon this week, I slept for 15 hours the first day I was home. It wasn’t just because of jet lag or con crud.

I rather famously call my public face “performance monkey mode,” and likewise what I say about my (current) online mode is that I’m cosplaying as a better version of myself, one that is kinder than I used to be online, and more patient than I am in the real world. If you meet me when I am “off” then you will find that, again, these versions of me are me, just with some things dialed up and other things dialed down. But even that is still a different version of me than, say, the version of me which is at home (which is in fact extremely boring; that version of me doesn’t talk much and mostly stays in my office).

Many of you who have followed me over the years are familiar with me saying things like this, of course, and are likewise familiar with me pointing out that there are a number of things about my life that I don’t mention in public, for whatever reasons I choose. But it’s also true that I’ve been actively online for 30+ years now, and people feel reasonably confident that they have a good bead on me and that there’s not much about me that will surprise them or change their understanding of me. So to bring home the point there are indeed things you don’t know, allow me to surface just one previously unaired fun fact:

I have a concealed carry license.

(Or did; it expired this year and I didn’t renew it, because Ohio changed its laws so that you no longer need a permit to conceal carry in the state. These days in Ohio you can just wander about with a handgun stuffed down your trousers without training or licensing because that’s a real good idea, now, isn’t it. Nevertheless, the license is not necessary anymore so there was not much point in renewing it, although if the law had not changed, I probably would have renewed.)

Why did I have a concealed carry license? Well, ultimately that’s not important. The point is I had one. I didn’t talk about it before because, among other things, the point of a concealed carry license (to me, anyway) is that its existence is not meant to be known by anyone other than that great state of Ohio itself. I am aware, and this is a dramatic understatement, that I am not a person most people would expect to have had such a thing. That the fact I had one will cause a number of people to reconsider what they know about me, for better or for worse. Which is also my point. All y’all have just learned this thing about me! Think about all the other things you don’t know!

Oh, God, this is where Scalzi starts admitting to terrible, terrible things. No. I feel pretty confident I live a tolerably ethical life. Part of the reason for this is that I have what I think is a decent operating principle, which is: If I’m thinking of doing something, and Krissy called me right then and asked “what are you doing?” and I would be tempted to lie to her about it, then I don’t do that thing. Because Krissy is the most important person in my life, and I don’t want to lie to her about what I’m doing (I have lied to her exactly once. She knew instantly. I haven’t bothered lying to her since). This is not replacing Krissy’s ethics with my own; it’s me knowing whether by my own ethics, I would be ashamed to tell to her what I am up to. It works very well. As such, the Krissy Test is an operating principle I highly suggest to others, although I’d suggest replacing Krissy with whomever your life is most important to you.

Be that as it may, my ethics are not universal and some others might not find them sufficient, for whatever reason. I am well aware I still disappoint many people, and that there are people who find my life choices, known positions or public statements (or lack of them, as the case may be) problematic, or who simply wish I would be other than what I am. I can’t help them with this, but again, this is the point. Given the fact that I am a fallible human who has an entire stratum of his life not visible to the world — and the strata of his life that are visible cause significant numbers of people to be irritated and exasperated — is it not better just to not hold me up as an ideal person, or the “good dude,” much less an idol of any sort?

I mean, shit. What Would John Scalzi Do? Solidly half the time, I have no fucking idea. I have to think about it, whatever it is. I have to think about whether I know enough to do or say something about it. I have to decide whether it’s something I want to engage with at all, and whether my engagement with it is something that would be of value to anyone, me included. I have to decide whether engaging with it is worth the shit I will get for it. And then I have to figure out what it means that I am engaging with it, since like it or not I’m a Dude of Reasonable Significance in My Field. I try to be a decent human, when people are looking at me and especially when they are not. But I also know me, and all my flaws and weaknesses and compromises.

What Would John Scalzi Do? The best he can, in the moment. Is that sufficient? For me, yes, most of the time. Is that sufficient for you? That’s up to you.

The point to this all is that people are just a big fucking mess, including the ones you might for whatever reason find admirable. I am no different than anyone else, and you should not be under the illusion that I am anything other than a shambling collection of flaws embedded inside a human form, which also, in its defense, has some pretty excellent qualities as well. We’re all this way! You too!

And while I want you to like my work, and to enjoy the version of me that you see here and elsewhere, don’t put me, or any other person, on a pedestal. Pedestals are wobbly and and don’t give actual humans a lot of room to move. We will inevitably fall off. Keep us with our feet on the ground. That way, when we stumble, there’s a chance we can get back up, and keep going.

— JS

[gyusrose]

➵ 5-star michelin -> p.js

⚠︎ smut (mdni) , sprinkle of angst

✎ teacher!jay x student, slight age gap (25 & 23), jay is kinda mean, dom!jay + sub!reader, jealous!jay, praising, dirty talk

summary: achieving your dream of becoming a chef is not easy, even worse when your teacher’s always up your ass.

{btw! i don’t cook like at all so bear with me 🙏}

(non!idol jay x fem.reader)

~ late christmas + new year’s gift *ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂*ੈ✩‧₊˚

wc: 4.2k

you love the kitchen, you pretty much live there day and night. it’s no surprise to anyone that your dream job is eventually becoming a real chef. that’s why you’ve spent almost your whole life perfecting the one skill you’re good at. most of the recipes you use come from your mom. before she passed she left a whole book of recipes in it and what a hell of a good time you had with it.

it helped you cope, that’s what drove it. you feel sad? make something yummy. you feel mad? bake something nice. you feel happy? cool something delicious. your problems seemed to fade away while your cooking.

over the last year, you’ve started attending culinary school. obviously, you’re not perfect and you still need some work on your dishes but you’re not doing too bad to say the least. now though, it’s a new chapter opening for you.

you’ve been wanting to get out of your hometown for a while and move to the city as there were more opportunities down here and to your luck, you got accepted into a (very prestigious) culinary school nearby your apartment, a win-win situation.

like anyone, you were scared, scared to make new friends, scared to meet new people, scared to start from zero, a new place, a new routine. but it’s all for the better.

you sighed as you tied your apron around your waist, almost heading out the door to your first day of school. boxes were still unpacked all around your floor, it was a total mess, you literally slept on the floor last night. it was definitely not the best case scenario for a great morning but eh.

you finally caught your breath trying to calm down grabbing your tote bag and leaving your messy apartment.

the school was no more than five minutes away walking. at least you’re gonna be on time.

your entered the glass doors of the huge white building. the receptionist noticed you, you quickly showed her your ID, which they gave you during your orientation last week. she gave you a nod and you headed into the elevator, pressing the number 13.

your hands were shaking and sweaty. coming into a new school in the middle of the year has got to be the worst scenario for an introvert like you. you finally reached the room where the class will be taking place ( i genuinely don’t know what culinary school is like pls) as soon as you stepped in, all eyes were on you. including the head chef’s.

“you must be the new student right? happy first day you’re late.” one of them spoke, your cheeks couldn’t have become any redder than what they already were. you hated all the attention on you.

late? didn’t class start at 7:30? you thought.

“class started fifteen minutes ago, take a seat and catch up.” almost like he could read your mind he responded.

you muttered a low ‘sorry’ before heading onto an empty seat trying to take as much attention away from you. of course his happens to you.

you gathered all the ingredients you were told to get and set them on the table in front of you. mimicking what the other students were doing. as you weee doing that the chef came up to your side, an evident scowl noticed on his face.

it was until then you realized how handsome he was, he looked very young as well, not someone that you would expect to be a head chef. his jawline was sharper than the knife on your hand. you shook those thoughts away quickly though, he’s your teacher! what are you thinking?

“i’m just letting you know, whatever you did today can’t happen anymore, attendance is very important everyday, this is a very advanced class so you might not want to be missing any of it, got it?” even though he whispered, it felt like he was yelling at you. it was very aggressive and harsh making you flinch.

you quickly nodded, now scared of him even more. suddenly you want to change classes with another chef. finally leaving you let out a big sigh which you were holding in ever since he came over, and resumed cutting your vegetables and stir frying them.

“you need more seasoning on that, it’s too bland!” the chef, which you now you know as ‘Chef Park’ said as he tasted your chicken. you were almost sweating, from the way he speaks and acts, you felt nothing but intimidated by his presence, even more when he’s tasting your first dish for him. throughout the whole lesson today, he seemed to be only picking at you, he didn’t taste any of the other student’s food, only yours. you found it kind of irritating but tried not to think much about it.

“i’ll definitely note that chef.” you smiled at him bowing.

“ i’m expecting a lot from you, ______” he said before heading back to his space.

you were confused. why you? you’re probably the least talented person in this room right now so why you? you had so many questions but decided that maybe you just needed a good nights rest and starting packing up your stuff on your bag.

jay sighed at the empty room in front of him. it was currently 1 am, and he couldn’t find the urge to go home. he was just thinking, thinking about you.

he was the one that read your application into the school, he read your recommendation letters from your past teachers. you were put into his advanced class for a reason.

what he didn’t expect was the glory of a woman that was going to get in that door. it was as if the universe slapped his type right in front of him. that’s what he saw. how could someone look so beautiful in such a simple uniform? he also wonders that.

he can’t let down his demeanor though. yes he finds you attractive, but he can’t soften up just for you, that’s unfair to the rest of the students that have to put up with him. plus he hasn’t forgotten that he’s the teacher and you’re a student, it’s unethical for him to even be thinking of you in that way.

it’s been approximately a month since you’ve started going to this new school and to be honest, it was eating you up. chef park kept nit-picking everything you did, which honestly is what’s. teacher should do but not to that extent. you saw the way he was always looking your way when you were cooking. how he would yell at you across the room when you did something wrong ( even if other people were also doing it) it’s driving you insane to the point that you’re about to actually request for a change of teacher.

you were struggling to cook the steak to chef park’s desired temperature when you felt someone tap your shoulder. you turned your head around to see a boy. if you’re not mistaken his name is jake.

“i see you’re kind of struggling with that, there’s a trick i do that always manages to cook the steak to chef’s park liking. may i?” he asked if he could touch the knobs of your stove. you nodded and he turned the heat to the maximum for a few seconds, turning the steak over on both sides while bathing it in butter , then he turned it to low heat, repeating the same action.

jay obviously noticed this and did not appreciate it. he should be happy seeing another student sharing tips with you but that wasn’t the case this time. without thinking he walked over the two of your laughing figures.

“sim! it’s very inappropriate of you to be talking with your little friend when you should be cooking..”

“oh sorry chef park. i was just giving her a hand. i thought you wouldn’t mind.”

you looked at chef park, noticing his glaring eyes on jake. is it that bad for a student to help another student out?

“well i do! back to your place.” he said not sparing you a glance while jake decided to not respond back and just gave you an apologetic smile before heading off.

“alright everyone, that would be it for today, but don’t forget that by the end of the semester you’re gonna have to cook something of your own, impress me okay? “

as students left you decided to have a word with the chef, wanting to know if he just truly just didn’t like you or if he had a problem with you being here, so you could change chefs.

there was another girl talking to him before you. he acted so different with her, so respectful, kind and smiley. his face sours up every time he’s talking with you, so you barely see him smile and you almost melted at it.

“is there a problem miss ______?”

you jumped out of your other world and looked at him. suddenly feeling shy. you felt your confidence slip away as he was now looking straight at you, waiting for you to speak.

“ well-uh i’ve been noticing how harsh you’re on me compared to the other students, did i do something to cause that?”

jay was taken aback from your straightforwardness, but he responded either way.

“ you just need more toughness out on you _____, do you want to be mediocre?” he was lying through his teeth. jay knew you were if anything, the best of the class, he couldn’t just say that out loud.

you on the other hand, were crushed. was mediocre all he saw in you? have you been lied to by your other teachers?

“ is the yelling necessary though ? there’s way to effectively communicate without yelling.” you hated being yelled at. every time someone raised their voice at you, tears would just fall like a waterfall. thankfully, you’ve managed to hold in your tears during class so chef hasn’t seen you cry.

“are you questioning my teaching skills now? “

shit. now you offended him.

“n-no that’s not what i meant, i just-“

“you don’t think i’m a good teacher ?” he said getting up closer to you, pretty much standing inches in front of you. suddenly you felt your heartbeat fasten.

“i d-do chef, i just kind of find it unfair?” you said, trying to not stutter all your words.

jay smirked, now standing less than a feet in front of you, grabbing your chin and holding it up, making you look straight at him. jay could definitely see your rosy cheeks that you were so embarrassedly trying to hide.

“am i making you nervous miss _____?” you only gulped, you didn’t even know what to respond to that, even though it was bluntly obvious based on your state right now.

the both of you didn’t say anything for a moment, the two just stared at each other, waiting for one to make a move first.

you don’t know exactly where you got the guts to actually make the move. you engulfed your chef into a suffocating kiss. the kiss itself was enough to show how much y’all were yearning for each other. jay was dying to do this ever since he laid his eyes on you, but you on the other hand, didn’t know how much you actually wanted to do this until now. sure you found him handsome and smart and literally perfect but you never expected for him to think of you the same way to the point we’re he’s actually kissing you back and heating up the kiss you once started. his tongue grazed over your lip. his hands moved from your face to your waist, pulling you closer, melting into his embrace. your lips tasted so sweet, jay felt insatiable.

both of you forgot about the fact that this was very much not allowed. the world ceased to exist to exist at that moment. there were no boundaries, no constraints, just the two of you.

jay’s hand traveled down further and further, now down to your ass, giving it a light squeeze. the small action made you moan into his lips. even though your eyes were closed, you could feel him smirking at you.

your own hands travelled along his broad shoulders, down his shoulders. once again, confidence shot through you. your fingertips found their way to his belt buckle, about to undo it when his fingers wrapped around your wrist. stopping your movements.

“see you next class.” that’s all he said before gathering his things and leaving you there. high and dry.

that’s when you woke up. realizing what you were about to do, more like who you were about to do it with.

embarrassed. that’s what you were. he could literally lose his job what were you thinking?!

you let out a shaky sigh and left the empty room. all you need right now is a hot shower and sleep, you need to forget this ever happened. the worse thing is that tomorrow you still have to face him in class.

you knew showing up in the classroom that the two of you almost fucked in yesterday was going to be hard to show your face in. although no one noticed you, you just felt exposed. you refused to make eye contact with jay the whole time. jay definitely noticed this right away. he felt kind of bad in leaving you like that, but he knew that if he stayed there a little longer, he wouldn’t have controlled himself. he did think though, you looked kind of cute all shy and red, avoiding his eyes the whole class.

he took matters to his hands and approached you for the first time today, which was odd since he would’ve already yelled at you for something at this point.

“what are you working on miss ______?” his voice startled you, not even noticing he walked over to you.

“ just finishing the sauce for this.” you shortly said looking down at your food. jay’s stare didn’t leave your face once. and you could feel it very much. it felt hard to breathe at that moment. you have no doubt your face is boiling at his simple presence.

“ look at me when i’m speaking to you.” you didn’t want to. but he was still your teacher and the last thing you want to be is disrespectful so you looked at him. and god you wished you didn’t. those brown eyes have a world of its own. you found yourself staring at him shamelessly, forgetting he was speaking to you.

“are you even listening?” of course you weren’t yet you nodded assuringly.

“great then see you friday night.” you nodded but it took you a moments to realize what he said.

friday night? for what? this is what you get for daydreaming. embarrassingly, you asked him what he meant after you just told him you were listening to what he was saying.

jay chuckled and shook his head at your lie. “ i said if you were coming to the dinner i have set up for the class, since christmas is coming. and you responded yes, so you better be there miss ______.” he said with a smirk, palming your cheek. your eyes widened at his move. you looked around to see if anyone noticed, to your relief no one did as they were too focused on their food. “someone could’ve seen!” you whisper-shouted your chef. he just rolled his eyes and said “ just be there on friday, i have a gift for you.”

the last thing he said before walking away. you were left dumbfounded. what did any of that mean? you didn’t notice that you’ve doesn’t about 10 minutes just standing there thinking until you smelt something burning.

“your meat is overdone _____!!!” jake told you walking up to you turning the stove off.

shit.

you weren’t the one to like social events much. as a teenager, you barely went out with your friends. you were a proud nerd. always focused on school, that’s how you were thought to be, which explains how you’ve only made one friend (jake) ever since been here for months. now you’re gonna be forced to socialize for a whole evening.

you weren’t unprepared thankfully. you brought a couple of classy dresses with you, you could imagine that things like these were gonna happen. you eventually decided on a white silk dress. it was elegant yet comfortable for you. not too short or not too long as well. you decided to not do anything special with your hair and let it down.

you suddenly felt the urge to not go. the last person you want to see is your chef. you don’t see the point of going yet you kept doing your makeup, you just want to change into your pyjamas and lay in bed all night. a ding in your phone caught your attention, revealing a text message from jake.

-I’m here

it seemed like you have to go now. quickly you gathered your things and left your lot.

jay kept waiting and waiting. you was all he was waiting on. a bunch of people kept coming up and talking to him but he didn’t care. girls showed up trying to impress him, but nothing. he wanted you to come up to him, impress him.

what he didn’t expect is you coming in with some company. jake was obviously invited but not as your date, he thought. he could see his hand on your back as he said a few sorry’s for being late due to traffic. jay couldn’t focus on anything but you. what the fuck was jake saying to make you laugh so hard. was that on purpose? to see how he would react? jay couldn’t tell. it didn’t help how beautiful you looked tonight, more than usual. that fucker doesn’t get your beauty like he does.

the whole night jay kept quiet. stealing glances towards you and jake. when someone talked to him he kept his reposes dry. for a moment he could swear you stared at him.

jay didn’t miss when you stood up to go to the bathroom. he obviously took this opportunity to talk to you, if it wasn’t right now then it was never.

you left the bathroom, as a soon as you turned around, you were encaged. your breath hitched seeing who it was.

“c-chef?”

“oh please don’t act all innocent _____, i know what you’re trying to do.”

“i’m sorry..? i don’t know what you’re talking about?”

“coming in here with jake, wearing such tight dress showing off just enough to make me go crazy. do you realize how much power you have over me hm?”

you didn’t know what to respond to that. deep down you loved the way you made him feel. it was planned, at all, but it felt nice knowing how much little effort had an effect on him.

“ it’s not my fault that’s the way you think jay.” honourifics dropped. jay wasn’t expecting that response from you. the alcohol running through your blood was showing at the moment.

jay grabbed your neck and pulled you into a heated kiss. unlike your first kiss, this one was emerged in lust. both of your tongues entangled with each other. your hands rummaged through his hair pulling him closer to you.

all it took was a simple “wanna get out of here?” from jay for you to weaken in the knees, allowing your full submission to him.

“fuck jay, right ther-shit!” so much happened in the last thirty minutes, nothing could’ve prepared you to be eaten out by your teacher at that time.

you don’t even know how jay didn’t crash the car while driving to his house and completely stripping you in seconds. he ate your pussy like he’s been starving for months (which he was) your eyes rolled back, pulling his hair, engulfing him into you, wrapping your legs around his neck. jay was in fucking bliss.

“shit baby, you’re such a mess, so fucking sensitive.” he said pulling away from your cunt, earning a whine from you.

“such a desperate little brat. tell me, what do you want baby.” he said caressing your lips. you couldn’t stop biting them. from your angle, you could see everything of him. his sharp eyes staring down at you, his biceps, his chest, his abs, fuck you could cum right there.

“fuck me jay, i want you to use me.” unlike other instances, you didn’t break eye contact making him moan before grabbing your thighs and spreading them around his pelvis. your core was dying for his cock, it was noticible from how swollen it was.

jay rubbed his head along your folds before looking up at you for reassurance. you nodded, desperate written all over your face.

the first thrust in you was insane. the stretch felt like he was ripping up your insides. it was painful, a good type of pain. “fuck you’re so fucking big jay.” jay only groaned. he couldn’t even say anything, this was better than anything he could ever imagine.

once he was fully in he started to move in and out of your core, grabbing your waist, feeling himself in you. the crude sounds coming out of the both of you echoed throughout the house. jay’s hands played with your tits while you grabbed his waist, making sure he stays inside you as much possible.

“shit you’re so tight, that’s pussy’s all mine ain’t it?” his hand left your tits and started rubbing your clit while his thrusts turned very hostile you couldn’t even form words from the immense amount of pleasure.

“yes yes, it’s all your baby.”

jay didn’t think it could get better than this, but it did.

he flipped you over, now on all-fours, back arched. not wasting any time in fucking you from behind. he groped your ass, leaving his hand marks all over them.

you were about to explode when a ring could be heard, more specifically from your phone. you looked over it on the night stand seeing ‘jake’ displayed on the screen. shit you completely forgot that you just left him at the restaurant. you could call him back lat-

“answer it.” jay said from behind you sternly, fucking you even deeper.

“i don’t think i ca-“

“answer the fucking phone, it must be important.” as much as he didn’t like jake, it turned him on the way you could barely breath let alone speak while he’s fucking you restlessly.

you could barely talk but you managed to grab the phone and answer it, trying to sound as normal as possible.

“ sorry jake, i just wasn’t-hmp feeling well.” your hand went over your mouth to stop you from moaning into the phone. jay was just laughing in the background at your state right now.

“yea yea i-i’m so sorry, have f-fun though.” you nodded at his last sentence before hanging up and glaring at jay from behind you.

“fuck you!” you said then slamming your head into the pillow letting out muffled moans.

“i’m quite literally doing that baby.” you rolled your eyes in pleasure and annoyance. your orgasm was very close, even jay could feel the way you clench around him.

“fuck i’m cumming, so fucking close.” your weak voice said .

jay was on the same boat, he would’ve cum way earlier but it just felt so damn good, he wanted to treasure every moment.

“me too baby, c’mon cum all over my dick, do it baby.” that’s exactly what you did. your body twitched at the sudden feeling. your body going limp.

jay was also on edge, with a few more thrust he pulled out of you and came all over your back moaning in the process.

after the two of you balanced your breathing, jay laid next to you caressing your hair, the both of you were just giggling like little kids.

“so this was the gift you were talking about?”

[glitterjay]

hey! im so happy you have requests open cuz i freaking like your writing :D

im very picky when it comes to reader x idol but i like the things you post sm, u get me fr 🫡

can i be ⭐️ anon pls ? <3

so can i request nerdy/innocent enha (hyung line) and reader that has the personality of a frat boy

we often see fratboy enha n naive reader but i think as a society we need them to switch places at least once 🫵🏼

i hope u can understand what im trying to say lololl

⭒ nerdy!enhypen, popular reader, masturabtion, head (both m. receiving), dry humping, suggestive content under cut, mdni

⭒ c's note: I LOVE THIS IDEA. i love sub!enhypen so much... writing this was quite satisfying. also, i appreciate the kinds words :( im glad my work is enjoyable enough! and you can be ⭐️'anon! welcome to the club, woop woop! i hope i delivered just what you wanted. if not, do let me know 🙏

⭒ taglist: @hollyoongs @moon7jay @wondipity @defnotfertilizedtoesw @kwiwin

nerdy!heeseung

who loves to stare at you as you walk down the halls with your fancy clothes on. the way his eyes light up when you look at him and smile in that one class you both share. the shock in his face when you called him, his name rolling off your tongue in the sweetest way. how he was even more surprised when you dragged him to a janitors closet and got on your knees in front of him. when he asked why, you simply said it was because he was cute, and because you were tired of the assholes that followed you everywhere.

nerdy!heeseung

who had to stop his loud moans with the back of his hand as you sucked him off. who apologized everytime his hips rammed into your thorat making you gag around his cock.

nerdy!heeseung

who thought it would be a one time thing, not knowing he'd be back in that closet more often.

nerdy!jay

who was invited to a party by his friend, and had no idea where to start. standing in the middle of the house's living room shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. how his hands played with each other unsure what to do at all. the way his eyes immediately found you through the crowd of people, staring at your figure in pure amusement.

nerdy!jay

who had enough courage to tell you he was a virgin when you invited him to talk. he was surprised when your face lightened up at the fact, cocking an eyebrow at you. the way his hands shyly grabbed your hip when you startled his lap, rocking your body back and forth while kissing his neck. you were bold, but he liked it.

nerdy!jake

who was just way too shy to interact with anyone really. his cute habit of fixing his glasses when he was nervous made you approach him, giggling at his confused expression. a cute and popular girl talking to him? bullshit.

nerdy!jake

who always had messy hair which got even messier when you had him squirming under the touch of your hands in an empty classroom. he tried pushing, kicking, biting you away, but you wouldn't budge. he was sooo sensitive, it was embarrassing. you cooed him every time a sob would leave his pretty mouth, telling him it was okay. everything about him made you want to ruin his good boy aura.

nerdy!sunghoon

who was always at the back of the classroom scribbling notes to study when he got home. who always made sure to put his glasses in their little pouch before walking out of class for any inconvenience.

nerdy!sunghoon

who you came to find out had a very beautiful voice that complimented his way of moaning. how his hands would go anywhere but your head as you took in his dick whole in your mouth. the way he looked away when you grabbed his left hand and placed it yourself on top of your own hair. the way he said it was too much and that he was dried out, but still cummed twice just for you.

© glitterjay | tumblr

[weoris]

HONEY & COTTON

제이크 headcannon + drabble — soft boyfriend jake! 𐙚 𓈒 ݁ requested soft hours gn!reader , idol au , live-in-boyfriend , established relationship cw. sweat mint-choco popcorn.. skinship kissing playful nicknames coffee six hundred words clickhere!

sim jaeyun as your boyfriend

no matter the time or situation, you’re always on his mind. when he’s feeling down, he reminds himself of your encouraging words and trust in him. when he’s at practice, his members have to deal with his whining about not being able to see you. when he even catches sight of a mere picture of you, it’s like the outside world drowns out — and his whole world becomes you.

Jake whined for the hundredth time in the past 2 hours, making Jay already roll his eyes before he spoke. “Mm~ I miss Y/n..” Jake pouts, resting his head on Jay’s shoulder. “I know you miss Y/n.. we all know you miss Y/n.. but you’re so damn sweaty and clingy- god help me!” Jay replies, pushing his friend’s head off his shoulder.

The latter huffs and pouts even more. “Punk.. Y/n wouldn’t complain about my sweat.” He crosses his arms. “We all are sweating! It’s not even that bad..” Heeseung raises an eyebrow at Jake’s words. He takes a whiff of his wet shirt and gives them both a stubborn look. “Yeah.. ok.. whatever..”

love-deprived jake can be such a clingy mess. when you walk into a room, it’s like his eyes light up. he loves the way your eyes immediately search for him in any room he’s present, which doesn’t last long since he immediately tackles you in a hug.

now that you two live together, he wonders how he could’ve ever lived with 6 other guys when he could’ve been living in paradise with you. there’s not a lot of time spent together because of hectic schedules, but it just makes those moments more special.

“Mmm.. where did you go..” Jake mumbled into your shoulder as he hugged you from behind. his hair and mind still messy and sleepy as he pressed a few gentle pecks against your shoulder like second-nature. “Honey..” you chuckled and brushed his hair with your fingers as your other hand stirred your coffee. “You just woke up..” you hummed at him.

eyes still closed, he gave you another cute smile as he snuggled closer to your back. “I know~ that’s the point.. I can’t sleep without my love..” he giggled as he nuzzled his head into your neck, making you chuckle from the tickling sensation.

and believe me, he’s the biggest drama queen when it comes to his friends. using you like a shield is basically a part of the ‘boyfriend jake kit’, and all of his friends can tell. but he was clever, he knew you were a simp for him and couldn’t say no to whatever he asked for.

As sunghoon continues cursing out Jake, the latter smiles teasingly. “How could you let me lose?? I was this close to winning, you brat!” sunghoon says angrily, rolling his eyes. “Ahh! Y/n, help! Hoon is yelling at me!” Jake playfully teases, holding your arm in front of him as protection while he playfully grins at sunghoon, making you laugh and ruffle his hair.

“Guys.. I can’t buy every one of you different types of popcorn. And no, Sunoo, I’m not making a new type of artisan mint-chocolate popcorn either.” You huff, sighing after all the guys had complained about needing to share the popcorn you had bought from the grocery store. They pouted and muttered apologies. “Hmph.. yea guys, don’t be so selfish.” Jake says in a petty voice, when he himself was the one who strongly insisted on getting his own batch of snacks. You sighed again, but with a smile this time.. you couldn’t help it.. your boyfriend was too adorable..

but something about him, you really could not help it.. he was sweet like honey and as soft as cotton..

© weoris | tumblr.

XiNYi 的 🔖 i know it’s over-said, but he’s such a golden retriever, it’s so crazy TT i think he’s just naturally the cutest boy on earth. seeing him act so cute with hee makes me crazy literally !!

ׂ  TAGLIST  ׅ @w3bqrl @boowoowho @ahnneyong @kynrki @ixomiyu @yunki4evr @flwoie @bubblytaetae @ja4hyvn @dimplewonie @xiaoderrrr @trsrina @adajoemaya @stepout-09-15 @ineedaherosavemeenow @lcv3lies @violetinferno @woncheecks @mijuuv @enhapocketz @star4rin @bubblytaetae @dimplewonie @isoobie @whoschr @jiaant11 @yeomha @mosssi @j-wyoung @artstaeh @spilled-coffee-cup @cowsmicwu

[suengmi]

ot8 skz prompt!

you cry when they barely raised their voice at you (but not in a too angsty way, they were just playing around w you) and they comfort you

also HAPPY LATE BDAY 🎉 (im gonna rob you for all ur seungmin and jisung pcs)

hehe thank you anon!! i went to see moulin rouge live and just had a kpop trade day/night with my bestie i was like "i'll swap u any of these two lee knows... for that mingi"

BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE MY SEUNGMIN ONES I'LL FIGHT YOU BARK i got like 26 different seungmin ones with 11 doubles... it's not enough, funnily bangchan is actually my ult in skz alkjsdlaksjd leave me alone seungmin got me WHIPPED

ANYWAYS!! warnings under the cut, i added pics for comedic effect. idk why my writing always goes humour, anyways i worked v hard on this!! and as always,i messed around with the prompt a did a few hurt!skz/you raising your voice at them hehe enjoy!!!

in alphabetical order

all non idol!au, all gn!, as always kinda proofread and lapslock

you're laying on the couch, nose stuffy and filled with tissues. you were always sensitive when you were sick, your head feeling like it's spinning and your body betraying you anytime you tried to stand up. chan was always a caregiver, he loved taking care of the people he adored. not one day went by where he didn't ask if you needed help or needed anything, you could always reassure him that his presence was enough, much to his scoffing.

☆⌒ヽ bangchan

warnings/other: living together, established relationship

you needed help to go to the shower, the steam would probably help. plus, you hadn't showered in two days due to how sick you were.

"babe?" you called out, voice weak.

"baabe?" you squeaked once again, trying to lift yourself from the couch. "baaaaabe?" and nothing, but you can hear him tip toeing around somewhere, the clunking sound of a bottle hitting the bathroom floor.

"babe!" you half yell, still trying to push your self from the couch.

chan rounds the corner, eyes frowning as he taps on the side of his headphone, "what?!" he screams at you, eyes scrunching and brows furrowed.

you burst into tears, suddenly feeling like you're in trouble for wanting help. "i'm sorry, i didn't know you were busy." you can barely speak, voice raspy and quiet.

"what?" he speaks again, pulling his headphones to rest on the back of his neck. this time his voice more gentle. he sees the tears forming in your eyes and immediately comes to your side. "what's wrong?"

"don't yell at me." you say through tears, hands coming to rub your eyes.

"shit," he curses, rubbing the sides of your arms, "sorry, i had my head phones on, i was running you a bath."

"oh," you sob, still letting yourself cry your hands dropping to your lap, "i thought you were angry at me."

"oh my god," he says pushing your messy hair out of your eyes while wiping the last of your tears. he sighs, "i just couldn't hear you silly."

"i've run you a bath, do you wanna have one together?" he stops and gives you a sniff, "you need one."

you frown, using the last of your strength to push him away, but it fails. "yes please..."

--

you're balls deep in your game, you've never been so focused on a game in your life. it's the final battle fight of the last of us 2, you wipe away tears at the scene before you folding out, feeling conflicted as the characters fight in the water.

☆⌒ヽ felix

warnings/other: living together, established relationship, cussing

"ahh!" you yell a bit too loud as you feels more tears form, "this is fucked up, fuck you both, fuck off this is so unfair."

"what did you say to me?" felix says, turning from his pc to look at you. "did you just tell me to fuck off?"

"what?" you turn to felix, eyes back darting back to the screen for a moment, still in the middle of the battle.

"what the hell? why did you tell me to fuck off?" felix says as he scrunches his nose, clearly upset and confused. "what the fuck?"

"no! oh my god, no." you scrambled to pause the game, getting to your feet to stand by felix, "no, no, i was talking to the game!"

"you lyin'?"

you roll your eyes, "why would i say that to you? ellie is fighting abby, and i'm telling them both to fuck off, not you!"

"oh," he says, pleasantly surprised, "valid then."

you press a gentle kiss to his forehead, he looks up at you still kinda upset. "baby, if i were to ever tell you to fuck off it'd be because you ate the last of the bread."

he smiles, eyes crinkling into moons, "oh that's true."

"you wanna watch?"

he scoffs, "god no, i already cried at that a month ago. hell no."

--

"get back here!" changbin screams, running across the field to catch you.

☆⌒ヽ changbin (LMAO THE PIC)

warnings/other: new relationship, play fighting

"no, no!" you yell back, a grin on your lips, you dart around the edge of the tree, seemingly hidden (well, you think at least.)

dating changbin had been a whirlwind, he was kind, funny, silly in the best ways and so cared for you like no one had. it had only been a month, but you were so damn in love with him, even though you were still getting to know him. everyday you were excited to find out more about him, it was never enough.

there's a silence in the air, your eyes dart around the edge of the tree. after a moment or two, a voice screams suddenly, "got you!"

"ah!" you scream, feeling hands aggressively wrap themselves around your waist. you had always been a scaredy-cat, any loud sound would startle you and send you into a frightened mess.

"all mine!" he said as he pulled you to the ground, arms still wrapped around your waist.

you feel trapped, his large arms wrapping around you. you can feel the anxiety in your chest, flight taking it's hold over freeze.

"changbin! that really scared me!" you cry out, but he's relentless.

"too bad, i win!" he chuckles loudly, pushing you to lay on your back, his muscles bulging as he pins you there. he slowly loses his smile when he meets your upset scowl, mouth turned down at the sides.

"baby, no-" he says searching your face, "i'm so sorry, was that too much?"

"yes," you say in a low tone, wrapping your arms around his neck. "i get startled easily,"

"i didn't know, i'm sorry." he apologises again, lifting you up to deepen the hug. you melt into his frame, enjoying being engulfed by your boyfriend, though pocket sized, he seemed much bigger than you in moments like this.

this is your chance to get him back, you smile into his neck before pressing a sharp bite down on his collarbone.

"hey!"

--

usually, hyunjin was the patient one.

☆⌒ヽ hyunjin

warnings/other: living together, established relationship

he would always happy to wait for you when you were getting ready, always be okay with you needed to run back inside and pee because you would probably forget and always, he would always wait for you to tell him what you wanted or how you felt, never pushy once.

you were upset, getting fired from your job. it wasn't your fault, just the reality of the job market right now. 'no more funds.' they had said. you were floundering., wallowing in self pity (and rightfully so.)

when hyunjin arrives home, it's ten oclock at night. you're sitting on the couch, balled in a blanket. the lights are off, black smoke seeming to surround your nest of pillows, the only light on your face was from the tv.

"hey beautiful-" hyunjin says cheerily before being met with your tired eyes, black rings around the bottom. "what's wrong?

"nothing." you scoff, hiding more of yourself.

"babe-" he says softly, kicking his shoes off and dropping his bag. he comes to your side immediately, hands rubbing up and down your side. you say nothing, shifting away from his touch.

he sighs, "you wanna tell me what's wrong?" he seems tired.

"no." you say lowly, turning up the tv volume.

"are you... sure?"

you say nothing as you kick him with your foot, still wallowing and watching the tv.

"fine, be like that." he scowls, voice slightly raised as he shakes his head. he shuffles to the kitchen counter, gripping the soda left on the bench top. he takes a sip, looking back at you, clearly annoyed. "i'm not in the mood."

hyunjin was never one to raise his voice, never had he done that to you. he patience seemed to have be worn thin this time.

"no i didn't-" you sigh, trying to gather your words.

'i have bad days too you know, it's not just you."

you sit up, blanket falling down the back of you. he's right, he's always right. "that was not cool, i'm sorry."

you look over him with sad eyes. he's now leaning over the counter, hands digging into his scalp.

you get up from the couch, readjusting the blanket over yourself as you shuffle to his side. you bump your head into his shoulder, looking up at him with wide eyes. "i love you."

"i love you too," he sighs, leaning his head on yours.

you sit like that for a moment before he speaks. "i got fired."

"no way same."

you both look at each and laugh in disbelief, how on earth did this happen?

--

jeongin was so cute, so damn cute. he reminded you of how cute he was every time he did, well, basically anything. but sometimes, he was really secretive. you didn't know why, until you had come to his house the first time. you hadn't been together long, but you were over joyed when he invited you over for dinner.

☆⌒ヽ jeongin

warnings/other: fresh relationship, not smutty but heavy descriptions and mentions of hentai lmao, pg i guess

"bone app the teeth!" he chimed, placing down the bolognaise he had made. it looked and smelled delicious, and you loved the cute frog bowls he had put them in. it made him that much cuter.

"eee! it looks so yummy." you squealed, "wait gotta pee."

"okay, down the hall to the left" he said plopping himself down, proud of his masterpiece. he sat up, making sure to clarify. "oh not the second door, the first one!"

you didn't hear the last part as hurriedly made your way down the hall. you looked at two doors, two seemingly the same. 'i think he said the second?'

you open the door in a hurry, being met with a large pillow of an anime woman, giant boobs out and her legs parting in display. you just stand there in shock, taking in the sight before you.

"helloooo." you said curiously, stepping into the bedroom. on the light stand there was a figurine. her boobs were seemingly wet, the short skirt she had lifted up behind her, thong busting out. a few more adornments, mostly lewd plastered the room.

"babe?" he called out as he walked down the hall. his eyes met with your curious ones, a smirk slapped across your face.

"babe!" he yelled, pulling you back by your arms. "i said first door! why didn't you listen!?"

"ow!" you said in surprise, feeling a lump of guilt building in your throat. he had never yelled at you before and it scared you. "i'm sorry i didn't hear you."

he sighed shaking his head, "i told you not to go in my room!"

"stop yelling at me..." you mumbled, wincing away from him.

quickly he pulled you out of his room, accidentally slamming the door behind him, it made you jump.

"jeongin-" you started but the lump in your throat grow. "i just got the wrong door, don't yell at me."

you stood in silence for a moment before he spoke up, rubbing the back of his neck, an unsure grin on his face, "i just didn't want you to see yet, i'm sorry i yelled."

you turn back to him, eyes tracing his face. he'd been caught. "theeee hentai?" you smirked, standing on your tippy toes.

jeogin's face burnt red, ears tingling with embarrassment. he scrambled to say something, but nothing came out. just splutters of words.

you laugh, "do you seriously think i'd be upset about that?"

"i don't know..." he says under his breath, looking everywhere but you.

"hm," you ponder, finger on your chin, "i don't know how i'd look in a thong, i might not have the ass for it."

jeongin looks like he's going to burst, his expression surprised and embarrassed by your words.

you sigh, taking his hand in yours, "it's fine but don't ever yell at me again, okay?"

"okay..." he says looking to the ground, feeling stupidly sorry for his actions.

"besides," you begin, smiling at him, "maybe you'd look better in a skirt and thong."

--

"wake up!" is all you hear as you jolt upwards, your forehead sweaty and breath heavy coming from your chest.

☆⌒ヽ jisung

warnings/other: living together, established relationship, mentions of nightmares and knives (not bad i promise lol)

you had a nightmare, which didn't happen often. the dreams you usually had were just an information dump of your day mixed in with people you had thought about, but this felt real, the feeling of fright still tingling in your body.

you look over at jisung, his eyes sleepy but still looking at yours.

"hey, you okay?" he speaks, voice raspy.

"no!" you yelp, busting into tears, still feeling shaken by your nightmare. "you were following me, telling me you were going to kill me! why were you yelling?"

"what?" jisung says in a confused tone, hand coming to your shoulder to stable himself.

you shrug his hand off, "you were going to kill me, why would you do that?"

"what are you talking about?" he mumbles, sitting half upward.

"in my dream," you begin by taking a deep breath, "you were chasing me with a knife, it was so scary."

"i'm... sorry?" he says, still so confused, "i didn't mean to?"

"oh," you breath out, tears slowly stopping. "i still cant believe you'd do that. i'm... damn."

"i'm sorry i tried to kill you in your dream. it was wrong of me...?" he mumbles again, eyes trying to find sleep.

"yeah, yeah it was." you breathe out, "don't do that again."

"okay... i won't." he sleepily sighs, his body falling back to the pillow. "i can't believe... i did that, what a ...dog act from me. asshole."

"absolute dog act, you dick." you finish before you feel your body laying back, waiting for sleep to capture you.

"so wrong of me, i'm such an idiot." he mutters, his lips pressing against the pillow, already falling asleep.

--

you scoff, eyes slowly closing your tiredness overtaking you. "damn right."

aussie slang: dog act if you don't know lol

"c'mon, just let me see." you yell through the crack of his changing room, attention turning from your phone. "i'm sure it's fine."

☆⌒ヽ lee know

warnings/other: close friends who like each other, uh lee know half naked??? spicy lee know, play fighting

"it's not." he says from the change room. you can hear his sighs through the curtain, frustration in them whenever he tries on another piece.

"do you need help?" you start, sliding yourself to the other side of the bench in front of the changing room.

"no!" he fumbles, dropping another item.

you sigh, hand slipping to grab onto the curtain, "i'm coming in!"

"no-!"

you're instantly met with his crotch, boxers tight across his hips, and you can see that. yes, the outline of that. your brows raise, certainly surprised with the view in front of you. his boxers had the kittens on them, cute little kittens of all colours and a pink background. you loved it, you can't deny.

"uh..." you start, not knowing what to do. you'd liked lee know for a while, so you can't say you're entirely horrified. you slowly raise your eyes to his, confusion and annoyance on his face.

you just sit there, his eyes burning into yours, just both staring at each other before he pushes on your face, leading you to fall back off of the bench. "don't do that!"

"ack!" you fall back yelping back hitting the ground with a thud, "i'm sorry i just wanted to help!"

he raises his voice slightly, anger present in his tone, "yeah, well i'm fucking naked!"

you feel bad, you've pushed a boundary and you didn't even realise you had been edging on it. "i'm sorry." you choke out, feeling bad for invading his privacy. you were close but not that close, yet.

you just lay there, ashamed of yourself for what you did, not thinking about his boundaries. after a minute he comes out, you're still laying on the ground in defeat.

he purses his lips in anger as he grabs the side of your ear, wrenching it towards him.

"ah shit!" you screech, laughter behind your words, "i'm sorry! aha i'm sorry! stop it!"

"you done?" he says through his teeth, still pulling on your ear.

"haha yes! it tickles and hurts!" you giggle, mouthing ouch a few times. he gives you a final tug before he finally let's go of your ear.

you get to your feet, rubbing the side of your ear. you both walk in silence before he halts you, eyes glaring into your own.

"if you wanna see me naked just say so, at least i can put better boxers on."

it was your turn to go red in the face, but you smirk instead, hiding your face, "i like those ones."

"really?" he questions, pondering your words, but seems impatient in his tone. "i'll wear em for you this weekend then, you staying over or not?"

you nod hurriedly, instantly agreeing to his plans.

"aw," he stops, clearly enjoying your agreeance and the new realm of flirting with you, "cat got your tongue?

you smack him on the arm, "stop!"

--

"do these look good?" seungmin asks, raising the brown frames to his face. no, no they don't. they absoutely don't. you try to hold in a laugh, your hand coming to your mouth.

☆⌒ヽ seungmin lalsdjka that pic always gets me

warnings/other: established relationship, seungmin thinks he's funny

"umm... maybe?"

he sighs, raising them a bit. "how about now?"

"uh," you begin, trying to hold in your laugh, "sure?"

passive aggressively he throws them back on the rack, turning on his heel to walk to the next section. you follow behind him, you can sense he's getting frustrated trying to find the right sunglasses. his vision wasn't the best without his glasses, so he needed your help trying them on. no contacts in today.

"hmm," he ponders, picking up anther pair. they're so ugly, rectangle and frames way too dark. no one would suit them, that's probably why they're on sale.

"um... maybe?"

"you already said that!" he says, frustration in his voice. "if you're not going to help, just leave."

you feel kind of hurt at his tone, but continue to follow behind him. you can't help but feel the anxiety in your chest, he wanted your advice but never listened anyways so you thought it best to be quiet.

suddenly he turns to look at you, feeling the awkward tension he's created. he throws his hands in the air. "what?!"

"hey don't yell," you start, wincing a bit at his words, "i just don't think those suited you..."

he takes the sight of you in, realising he's upset you, "shit- i'm sorry baby, i'm just annoyed i can't find a good pair. this is so hard."

you grab his hands and bring them to your chest, your eyes looking up at him, "thank you for apologising, you don't gotta be so mean."

he bends down to press a kiss on your lips, it's gentle with apology laced in it. he takes in a sharp breath before leaning back, "okay, which ones?"

"circle, definitely."

he turns to face the other section, hand gently melding to yours. the pair he picks up are just as ugly as the others.

"no," you begin interrupting him. you let go of his hand and pick up a dark circle frame pair of simple sunglasses, "these one's."

"really?" he questions, brows raised.

"just try them."

he sighs, bringing the frames to sit on his ears. "yes or no?"

"oh definitely, these are the ones. you gotta trust me."

he pouts and rolls his eyes, "oookay."

--

a/n: i had so much fun writing this!!!! hope you enjoy!!!!

<33

[hyunvom]

passing notes in secrecy

synopsis: life's not that easy when you're in love with the prettiest boy who just happens to be an idol, but you'll make it, right?

cw: childhood friends to lovers, smut, idol!hyun

word count: 1,1k

In the soft hush of midnight's embrace, you tiptoed through the corridors of stardust and dreams. Your heart a symphony of secrecy and longing.

You've been with him for five months, even though you've known him your whole life, long before the world knew the crescendo of his name and fame was but a distant dream. Your stories were woven together in the tender threads of childhood's innocence. You used to be just kids, sharing stories and secrets under the benevolent shade of the old oak tree in your neighbourhood's park down the road, where the houses were all painted in a beautiful cinnamon color. You would visit each other every day, some days at his house, some others at yours. His mother would always welcome you with a huge smile painted across her face and freshly bakes cookies, always. You'd lie on the grass, or the beach sand, or the wooden floors of his room.

As your teenage years unfurled like pages in a book, your friendship deepened into something more profound. In the golden haze of sunsets and the soft whispers of wind, you found yourselves drawn together by an invisible string. He wrote a song about you one day, when he was around the age of 15 and you 14. All the unspoken words of his heart spilled into paper. With trembling hands and a courage down from the depths of his affection, he slipped the parchment into your school bag, a secret serenade to the girl who held his heart. You started dating that summer. You remember it as the best summer of your life, and the last one before you lost him.

That following fall, he embarked on a journey of trading the familiar comforts of home for the uncertain allure of a music company's door. He always wanted this, he would always talk about wanting it. And he was truly an artist. He wrote beautifully, his words always so tender and artistic, he would dance like a god, moving like water, and his voice was as beautiful and soft as one could be. You always believed in him and encouraged him to try, and never thought about what follows all this. And he got in. He made it. He made it and you lost him and yet you would not want it any other way, because the love you shared and the bond was not a common one.

He trained for two years, two years of barely seeing each other, he basically lived inside the walls of his company, practicing hard, his dancing, his singing, his rap. You met the people he would debut with once, and they were lovely. You had dinner with all 8 of them that day.

"You guys do know if we actually debut you have to like, broke up right?" the one named Jisung said.

The table fell silent and someone visibly kicked him under the table but you can't remember who it was now. Hyunjin had looked at Jisung angrily yet shocked he brought it up, like they had talked about this before and he could not believe he said it in front of me, and then just continued finishing his food while taking huge gulps of his wine.

"What do you mean? Why?" I had asked.

"It's dangerous that you're still dating now, actually. If the company finds out Hyunjin's definitely getting kicked out for not focusing on his debut. It's strict as hell, you know this" Jisung continued explaining, in a soft sorry tone.

Hyunjin had stood up and went outside. He used to smoke sometime here and there when he was really tired or stressed. You followed him outside the restaurant were he opened a new pack of cigarette and stood right next to him, reaching for his hand.

"You know.. what he's saying is true" he said. Silence on your part as you let him continue.

"If they find out it's going to be so messy, I will get in so much trouble and if something happens to me, everyone's debut gets affected, it's like a fucking domino. And eventually even if we continue this I will not have time to take care of you and be around you and you'll grow tired of me never being there cause I won't be able to and if someone ever finds out after i debut it's yet again over for my career and I put everyone at risk again. I just don't"

You stopped him, silencing the cacophony of stress with a gentle touch. Your fingertips, like whisper promises touched his face softly, and with bravery born of longing leaned in, interrupting his thoughts and anxieties with the melody of your lips pressed tenderly against his.

"It's okay" is all you said.

You broke up 2 months later.

In between the next 3 years, you watched him from afar. You got a boyfriend when you turned 19, a nice boy you met at the library where you'd spend most of your days outside of uni. You spent beautiful moments with him, you gave your v card to that boy that summer, and he was a great destruction from Hyunjin. But that's all he was, and when you realized that you felt like such an awful person. You broke up with him later that year, as Hyunjin continued to never leave your mind. But how could he? His band became a huge success. He was everywhere. On billboards around town, on the radio, all over social media. You could not escape him even if you wanted to. But you didn't mind. Seeing him thrive, even without you, brought you an absurd amount of happiness and peacefulness, knowing that he'd doing well, living his dream.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dressed as an employee with the card he specifically made secretly for you so you can easily sneak in, you slipped into the bustling company. You heart racing, as it always does during this part, pretending to be an employee to pass through doors.

You and Hyunjin found your way to each other a few months ago, when he visited home to see his parents. It was irrational and you weren't thinking, but the second his lips touched yours, as now full grown adults, things could never go back to how they were. He was even prettier now, if that's even possible. His hair was long, black. His lips still beautiful and full and so soft. His body was bigger, and harder than what you remember, probably because of his dancing. He fucked you in his childhood room that night. His hand on your mouth and other times kissing you hard to muffle your moans as his whole family was in the house.

"You have no idea how many times I've dreamed of this" he said as he laid you on his bed, getting you under the covers. He let you undress him and explore his body, taking your time with it. He was so hard under his boxers and leaking already, you palmed him through them and kissed him like this would be the last time you'll get to put your lips on his. You left comments about his size and you felt him both twitch and smirk through the kiss.

"When did you get so handsome?" you asked.

"When did you get this fucking hot" he responded.

He opened you up later that night, kissing you down the softly and eating you out hungrily, with so much skill. You wondered how many girls he's done this to, and you asked without thinking. He doesn't respond but he looks up at you while hes down there. He started inserting fingers, one by one, while continuing to play with your clit between his tongue. When you were finally ready for him he came close to your face and kissed your nose.

"I haven't done this in years. Be gentle" you tell him shyly yet in a playful tone.

"Oh so you've done this before?"

"You haven't ?"

You stare at each other for a moment, then smile.

"Now that we're here, I wish I never did, so I could do it with you" you said. And he simply said "These things don't matter to me" before kissing you again.

He let you ride him, so you could take your time and control the movements that were happening, and it's safe to say he loved being at your mercy. Your hands intertwined, sweaty foreheads, soft whimpers. He sounded beautiful. That one boyfriend you had back in the day was a nice guy, but the few times you had sex felt like a joke right now. He was silent, strict with it, forward. Hyunjin was vocal, touchy, loving, considerate. You felt like you were having sex for the first time, cause you were one way or another. At the end of the day what did virginity even mean.

When your hips got tired, he immediately noticed and started moving you up and down on him. He changed positions a few minutes later, now being on top of you. He fixed your hair that was all over your red face and kissed your hands while entering you, much harder this time. You could feel both your orgasms coming. Out of nowhere, he put his hand on your belly, and dragged yours right there a second later.

"Can you feel me. That's me baby. All of me"

Looking deep into his eyes, shocked, ears and cheeks red, you both came, as he started playing with your clit fast and then pulled out and spilled on your belly. He got up immediately after the events and cleaned you up, dressed you up in your pajamas and then got in the bed. You didn't sleep that night, not until 5am at least. You stayed up and talked. You talked about everything. Your lives, what you've been doing, how this insane life he was living is like. You told him about the boy you met that summer, and he told you he has been with someone from his company for a few months after he realized his heart does not belong there and broke things off. You asked him who the girl was, and when he answered he notice how your face dropped.

"What is it?"

"Oh I know her, shes really pretty and talented, no wonder"

"And yet you're the prettiest girl in the world and the one i cant get this stupid mind of mine to let go, all these years"

You talked about what was going to happen, and both agreed that you wanted this, even if it was risky. It was okay, his dating ban was lifted long ago, and you'd be careful, you could do this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sneaking in the company using your card, you finally end up on the third floor, successfully unnoticed. You always meet him here since this floor is always empty. After a couple minutes pass you hear footsteps and hide behind a trashcan, and the second you realize it's him you jump up on him and hug him. You kiss, trying to be silent, and then he takes you to a tiny room he uses to write and record music.

The space is tiny and he has never brought you here before.

"Oh. This place is tiny we barely fit in here. What do you even do here?" you ask.

"It's my little space, I come here to concentrate and write."

You move your head in understanding and then he suddenly pulls you on his knees, as he's sitting down on the one and only chair that fit this room.

"It's also soundproof"

"Oh." you smirk and kiss him, running your hands through his beautiful hair, ruining his ponytail.

Suddenly, after minutes of purely making out, he positions you directly above his knee, and starts harshly pushing up, going right under your skirt and directly hitting your wet spot.

"So warm down there, you're wet for me already baby?" as you hum in response. He keeps saying dirty, yet loving things in your ear as he's fucking you with his knee, and at some point you take control and start moving yourself. Your hands on his chest, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his neck. He fucking loves all of it, you can see it, you can hear it. After reaching a crazy orgasm, you get off of him and immediately unbuckle his belt.

"Oh love you don't have to that's fine, let it be about you only this time"

"God you have no idea how much i want you do you?" you responded and gave him singlehandedly the best head of his life. After he came down from the high of his orgasm he pulled you up and kissed you hard, yet with so much tenderness.

Being with him was definitely a challenge. Everything had to be done in secret. Behind malls and bars and late at night where only the moon and the stars could see your faces. But you wouldn't change it, not for the world, he was your own little world.

[cinnaminyoons]

STAR THEORY !!

!!   jjk x m!reader

!!   wc | 6.8k

!!   tags | dilf!jk + dilf!reader (obv), non-idol au, lil age gap (jk’s 25, reader’s at least late 20s), reader lived in america for some time + reader is a chef (food comfort & domesticity i love u), reader’s children and dog are named, reader had a wife and also has a hip tattoo

[ event masterlist ]

dilf/dilf

pets are in love and so are they

“we are... incredibly close right now.”

the bedroom door bursts open.

"appa!"

it's too early for this.

"appa," she pants, little feet bouncing across the carpet until a weight begins to tug erratically at his blankets. "appa, get up, get up, there're new people!"

jungkook pulls a pillow over his head.

she puffs her cheeks out and launches herself onto his bed; she elbows him in the bony front of his leg. he groans in pain as she scrambles over his legs and grabs his pillow with both hands.

"get up, appa! i wanna go see!"

blearily, jungkook lifts his head, groping for the blinds past his bedside table. he leans uncomfortably far out into the cold of his room before he latches onto the chain and gives it a good pull.

the wooden blinds clatter up, dousing the room with pale morning light – the white bang that birthed the universe. she giggles and slides down from the bed, crawling up to the window and pressing her knuckles against the cold glass.

on the street below are a man and a little girl. another girl! she delights herself with fantasies of having a best friend – maybe they'd go play on the playground, and with their combined strength, they'll knock down the mean queen bee from the monkey bars.

they carry boxes into the neighbouring house, assisted by movers. a fridge, a mattress – they manoeuvre them through the gates leading around to the side of the house, entering through the glass sliding doors. she watches them, fascinated, as the visible kitchen begins to fill with cardboard boxes.

she cranes her neck, pressing her forehead against the glass until it stings her skin. nobody else comes through, and she knows who the hired help are because they wear bright orange shirts.

she squints at the man's left hand when he rests it against the column of the alfresco, speaking to the little girl. he's like her appa – he doesn't wear a marriage ring.

"what's so interesting?" he combs his fingers through his messy hair.

she glances over her shoulder with big brown eyes. "nobody's lived in that house for ages. d'you think they'll be nice?"

"i'm sure they are. c'mere, miri – you'll get a cold."

she skips over, lifting her arms dutifully. jungkook pulls a small pink jersey from his closet and tugs it over her head, helping her arms into the sleeves.

"where are your socks?" he asks with a groggy frown. he's always been slow to wake. "your toes will fall off."

"bam took them."

"he what?"

"bam took my socks," she says helpfully.

he sighs, rising to his feet. "okay. up we go, then."

he heaves her into his arms, settling her against his hip as he shuffles out of his bedroom and down the stairs. she's more than capable of walking on cold floors on her own – maybe it'd be a good lesson to teach about letting the dog take one's socks – but jungkook admits to himself that it's mostly for him. babies turn into children so quickly, and he finds he misses having her little warmth holding onto his shoulder.

bam meets them at the foot of the stairs, barking his good morning greeting. miri smiles and waves hello, and bam's tail wags faster as he follows them to the back door – he darts out with a bark, leaping into a run for freedom around the large yard. he shuts the door.

"right – here we are." he places her on the mat in the kitchen, in front of the sink. it protects her feet from the tiles. he feels somewhat more awake. "any requests for breakfast, miri? the fruits are still fresh – would you like some yoghurt and banana with your cereal?"

"with strawberries, too, please," she requests, watching him move towards the fruit bowl.

"how many strawberries?"

she opens her mouth. she frowns. carefully, she raises five fingers. "five."

"five? you must be hungry today," he comments, placing a banana on the chopping board next to the knife and leaning over to the fridge to fish out the tray of strawberries.  he bends over. "on three. one."

he scoops her up under his arm, holding her like rolled carpet. she hums as she chooses her strawberries, placing them on the blue chopping board. she shoves a sixth in her mouth and giggles as jungkook rolls his eyes at her with a fond smile, setting her down. "go grab your cereal, okay? i'll be done in a minute."

"okay!" her cheek leaves jungkook's palm as she whisks away to a lower cupboard, taking her pick of the different cereals in easy-pour containers.

he pushes the sleeves of his sweatshirt up to his elbows. he sets to work with the knife, chopping wedges out of the tops of the strawberries and slicing them in half. beside him, miri cautiously measures out her cereal on her own red child-sized table, tipping the container a few degrees at a time to control the flow.

a thump outside. he glances up. bam stops barking.

he sets down the knife and strides over to the door, dropping the wet handtowel on the edge of the bench. he leans out into the chilly air. "bam?"

no response. jungkook slips from his indoor slides to his outdoor ones and hurries outside, worry forming a knot in his stomach. "bam, come here!" he whistles, short and sharp.

he peeks behind the bushes, where a collection of toys have gathered as bam's treasure trove. no dog.

"shit," he mutters, eyes widening as he spots the open fence door by the side of the house. he hurries through it, grabbing the edge of the door. "bam!"

a bark by his feet. he startles ten feet into the air and a curse slips out of his mouth.

kneeling on the stone path and staring up at him is a little girl in a thick purple jacket. she looks about miri's age. bam had his head resting on her legs before they were so rudely interrupted.

he swallows another bad word and softens his voice. "hey. i don't think i've seen you around here before."

she stares up at him for a moment longer, rubbing bam's ears slowly. "me and papa came here today."

"oh! you must be our new neighbours." the moving truck is gone. he glances over the fence, before lowering himself to her level. "do you know where your papa is?"

"in there." she points at the house. she says nothing more, her eyes narrowed slightly mistrustfully.

"does he know you're here? i don't want him to be worried about you. come on – i'll bring you over."

she recoils from his offered hand, hugging bam's neck. the usually active pup seems unusually calm.

"i just want to walk you over, that's all. it's cold out here, and those pebbles can't be comfy."

she glances over him, then nods with as much dignity as she can muster and rises to her booted feet, brushing off her knees. bam stands as well, and jungkook gives him a pat.

he smiles at her, discreetly pulling his sleeves down over his sleeve tattoos. they might not make the best impression of his character. "so, you moved here today? what do you think of it?"

she shrugs, following him. "it's a lot colder. but papa says he got a good job here and can take care of me."

"really? do you know what his job is?"

"he's a chef! he makes really good food. do you like carrot cake? his carrot cake is the best. you should try some."

he smiles down at her as they approach the front door. "thank you for the offer. we'll see what happens."

he raps his knuckles against the front door firmly. he wonders if it sounds too aggressive, but there's nothing he can do about it, and there's an out-of-breath man standing in front of him. a very attractive out-of-breath man.

his eyes widen as he notices the girl beside him. "anya! what are you doing out there?"

she crosses her arms, defiant. "exploring."

"i – i told you to stay inside, didn't i? anya, neither of us knows our way around! you could've gotten lost if you hadn't—"

his eyes flicker up to jungkook's. he clears his throat and the girl shuffles over the threshold, grabbing onto his pant leg and burying her face in it. "hello. i am so sorry about my daughter – really, it feels like locks just fall apart around her. thank you so much for retrieving her. i left her in the hallway for two minutes to set up her bed, and then—"

"she escaped containment?"

the man cracks a frazzled smile. "yeah, suppose you could say that. ah—i'm ln yn. this is my daughter, anya. say hi, bub."

"hi."

"jeon jungkook," he introduces, feeling rather self-conscious about his pyjamas and socks-with-slides combination. he nods towards anya with a small smile. "how old is she?"

"five, this year." you smooth down her hair with a palm. she watches bam sniff around the perimeter of the fence. "she'll be starting school here soon and she's been really excited. she's a bit of an artist, you see, and the school's renowned for its arts program."

"oh! you mean—?" he gestures down the road. you nod. he brightens. "my kid goes there, too! she's the same age as yours, but she's more interested in trying every single extracurricular sport they offer than anything they're actually famous for. my genes at work, i guess."

you smile, leaning against the doorway. you nod at the dobermann by the succulents. "and that one's yours, too, i'm guessing?"

"oh – yeah! that's bam." he turns. "bam, come here!"

he perks up, trotting over.

"sit."

he sits.

"good boy." jungkook scratches behind his ears. "i'll keep him inside the yard, so you don't have to worry about holes in your garden or anything."

you chuckle. "thanks. so, what's to like around here? in particular, anything a five-year-old would enjoy?"

"the park's a two-minute walk that way." he points behind him. "it's not that big, but it has a swing and a slide and a rope cobweb thing. there's a fireman pole, too.” he smiles. “i know it's bad enough trying to move when you're alone, so having a kid with you must be pretty rough."

you share a laugh. the girl pouts into your leg.

he tucks his knuckles into his sleeves, trying not to show how fast his heart is beating. "i could watch her while you get settled today. i-if you want! i'd bring my daughter over and they could, uh, keep each other busy."

he knows you're wary. he can see it in your eyes and the way you pull her into your side.

good. he would be, too.

"that would be wonderful," you say eventually with a small smile. "but it's quite early – i'll be here when you're, well, ready."

he glances down at himself and bursts into embarrassed flames. "ah, r-right! yeah! sure, yeah, i'll be back in an hour. it was nice meeting you," he smiles down at her, "and you as well, anya."

"you, too," you reply, and your grin makes jungkook's heart race. he wills his blush down.

"goodbye," calls anya, watching him retreat from their door. "i like your puppy!"

bam trots at jungkook's side, tongue lolling out and collar clinking. jungkook lets him into the backyard again, this time through the side door, and latches the door shut firmly after himself. he's got no idea how it came loose the first time; it might've been the wind rattling the latch.

he shrugs to himself as he returns to his kitchen. if it happens again, he'll get a proper lock.

"appa!"

she crashes into his knees. he hums and smooths down her fringe. "hello. i'm sorry for disappearing on you like that – i got worried about bam, and then i met our neighbours."

she recoils, betrayal etched all over her face. "without me?"

"i wasn't expecting to."

"but you did! you could've come tell me!" she stomps her foot, huffing. "i hate you."

"miri..."

she ignores him, stalking off to grab her stool and dropping it firmly in front of the kitchen sink. she puts her bowl inside silently and stomps past him to play with bam outside, and jungkook doesn't bother trying to get her to change out of her pyjamas.

he sighs in his empty kitchen, thunking his head backwards on his fridge. he draws a hand down his face and his mind whirls with a thousand thoughts a second, but it only sticks firmly to one.

his neighbour. his unfortunately handsome neighbour. his unfortunately handsome neighbour with an amazing laugh and lightning-strike smile.

i'm fucked.

—

after a few days, a black labrador appears out the front of your yard, chasing a yellow rope bone that it brings back to anya. jungkook's walking bam, having just dropped miri off at school, and doesn't expect to have his arm yanked off by an overexcited pet.

"bam! what's gotten into you?" he struggles against the leash, acutely aware of the other dog on the other end of bam's attention. "calm – calm down."

bam stills, panting and alert as the black lab stares back, half-poised to drop the bone at anya's feet.

jungkook loosens the leash cutting into his hand, and it's the wrong decision. bam tears off towards the other dog.

jungkook swears as the leash slices out of his grip. he stumbles after him, dread and panic slurring together for a split second – but confusion cuts through the mess as the two dogs pause, watching each other very closely.

bam barks. the labrador glances back at the house, as if to check for permission—

and drops the toy in front of bam.

it lays down, placing its head on its paws, and gnaws at the end of the bone. every so often, it glances up at bam, blinking in that sweet puppy way.

bam lays down beside it, his flamingo-coloured leash trailing over his back. both dogs' tails wag in comfortable excitement.

"hi, miri's papa."

jungkook tears his stare off the dogs. "hey, anya. where's your dad?"

"inside."

"okay. thanks." he glances at the dogs; the toy is now in bam's jaws. "uh, are you cool with watching over him? i'll be quick."

she nods, full of purpose and determination. as he reaches for the door handle, however, she raises her voice with innocent curiosity:

"do you love papa?"

the door handle shears a layer of skin off his knuckles. he chuckles uneasily, clutching it. "what? no."

she tilts her head, playing with her laces. she did them herself this morning. "really?"

"o-of course. why would i love him? more importantly, why do you think that?"

she purses her lips as if it's obvious. "you look like you love papa."

he runs his thumb over the flap of skin. no blood, but it stings.

"you sound like you love papa."

he tilts his head. "what are you talking about?"

"you make faces and your voice gets all weird when you talk to him." she turns back to the dogs, stretching her stocking-clad legs out from her seat on the driveway. she yawns until her jaw cracks. "you're just like all the other ladies who love papa. but i don't think they like me." she glances up. "you're nicer than them."

"other ladies?" he whispers to himself with a frown. slowly, he returns to her, bobbing down to sit next to her. she stares up at him with big eyes, expectant. "anya, if i may... what happened to your mother? it's okay if you don't want to answer."

she shrugs, kicking her feet. "i don't know. i live with papa now. i like it better this way – he doesn't get angry at me like she did, and he makes better food." she rubs her nose. "they fought a lot before we moved. papa pretends like they didn't, but i know they did. i could hear them."

"yeah?" jungkook says quietly. "was that back in america?"

she nods, playing with the blades of grass. she peels them in half, drops them in a pile on the concrete, then picks another one and does the same. "mhm. they decided we'd live with papa."

"huh." he pauses and tilts his head. "wait, 'we'?"

"anya! dad's done, are you hungry?"

a girl leans out the front door. she's older, wearing braids, and her familiar eyes snap to jungkook's with abrupt alarm. she slips into the shoes by the door and hurries over, grabbing anya by the shoulder and pulling her away. "who are you?"

anya whines, wriggling out of her grip. "this is mister jungkook! he loves papa."

he stands too quickly; the older girl steps back. "no. no, i don't, anya. i'm just a friend – i live right there."

"uh-huh," says the older girl, putting anya's hand in her own. "let's go, okay? dad's waiting."

"papa made carrot cake," anya insists. "you should come!"

"you can't just invite strangers—"

"but papa knows him—"

"doesn't matter, i don't know him—"

a new voice, familiar and gentle. "girls, everything alright?"

jungkook turns with a leap of his heart. you wear jeans and a grey v-neck sweater rolled up at the sleeves to reveal the stiff cuffs of a white dress shirt. the collar pokes out over the sweater.

you're dressed like any other man on the street, some form of business casual, but jungkook's heart acts as if he's seen you naked. he'd love to. god, he'd love to. would you like him?

focus!

"good morning," he greets, dusting off his black joggers. "how goes things?"

you glance over him and he covers his bare biceps self-consciously. your lips quirk up. "hey, jungkook. things are great. i see you've met ellie."

"ellie," he repeats. he gives her a small, sheepish smile and offers a hand. "hi. i'm sorry for worrying you. maybe we can make amends?"

she glances down at his hand. her eyes flicker to you, and after receiving a certain look, she sighs and begrudgingly takes his hand, giving it a firmer-than-necessary shake. "yeah, sure. whatever."

she pulls anya into the house with her and you give her another look – this one meaning we'll talk later – before heading out to the driveway to speak with jungkook.

"i'm sorry about her," you huff. "twelve-year-olds..."

"don't worry about it. her heart's in the right place," jungkook hums, glancing up at you with a soft smile. his hands have taken much of his attention. "so, two?"

"yeah. she just arrived last night – i promise she isn't usually so grumpy." you jerk your head towards the house with a grin, hands in your pockets. "i heard them arguing about you. if you think my decision holds more weight than theirs, you're welcome to come in. i made carrot cake – my own personal recipe, tried-and-tested with the kids." you wink. "you know it's good when children willingly eat vegetables. any allergies?"

"i'd love to," he replies, his cheeks warmer than usual. "and no, i don't."

your smile widens, blindingly bright. you turn to the dogs and pat your thigh, reaching out for the labrador that trots over with an excited bounce. "you can bring bam in, too. they seem to get along – no reason to break them apart, right?"

"are you sure? bam's pretty easily excited, and he's a lot bigger than he thinks he is."

"hey." you take his hands, stopping him from picking obsessively at the cuticles. it's a bad habit he can't seem to shake. "we've had callus since he was ten weeks old. i know exactly what you're talking about, and my offer still stands."

"callus?" he asks, his brain too full of the thought of your warmth to do much else.

you roll your eyes fondly. "i hate the name, but ellie chose it and trained him to it, so it's stuck ever since. so – you coming in, or are you just gonna hold my hands for the next hour?"

"what?" he says. oh, fuck, you've loosened your grip but he hasn't. he's holding your hands. he's still holding them. he drops them. "a-ah, i'll come in!"

you laugh, and jungkook's heart squeezes tight in a red fist as he follows you to the front door. "alright, jungkook. don't tell the girls, but i'll give you a bigger piece of cake, okay? it'll be our secret."

"okay," jungkook breathes, and feels like a teenager all over again.

however, he might have forgotten to factor in the feelings of a certain five-year-old girl.

"you saw them again!"

"i know, i'm sorry," jungkook pleads, "but you were at school! hey, look, i even saved you some of yn's cake, alright? it's really good. he invited us – both of us – over to his place tomorrow. you can meet him and his daughters, and have a lunch better than i could ever make. how about it?"

miri pouts, kicking her feet on the couch. her schoolbag sits by the end of the sofa. "fine."

"oh, good," he sighs, relieved.

"but," she raises a finger, "you can't fall in love with him."

he whips around faster than light. "you, too? why am i not allowed to?"

"you're not allowed to be his wife."

"i'm a man, miri. it doesn't work like that."

"yes, it does."

"it doesn't."

"it does," she insists, "ellie said—!"

she slaps a hand over her mouth and falls backwards on the sofa.

jungkook pauses, his hands hovering over a cucumber on the chopping board. very carefully, he continues slicing long ovals out of it. he asks calmly, "have you met each other before?"

"no." she sits up, long black hair falling over her shoulders. "only to play with the dogs..."

"then you shouldn't be so upset that i did the same thing, right? does yn know you played with his daughters?"

miri, with as much gravitas as a five-year-old can muster, replies: "no."

he shakes his head with a huff of laughter, using the back of the knife to scrape the cucumber in a container. "alright. is that where you found this rumour? did they tell you?"

"appa, it's not a rumour if it's true," she argues, rising to her feet on the sofa. she leans forward against the backrest. "i've seen it with my own eyes! you talk about him like – like – not a friend! i never saw you talk about anybody else that way."

"uh-huh. and what do you know about being in love, miri? what does ellie know? she's twelve, and you've only just learnt how to tie your hair in a ponytail. very messily. no standing on the couch."

she falls back behind the edge of the backrest with a huff, vanishing from jungkook's sight. "you'd be a bad wife."

he carves the store-bought roast chicken, sawing through the thighs and shaving smaller slices off the body. he digs through the breast to stab at the herbed stuffing. a lock of hair falls loose from his low ponytail and he tosses his head to get it out of his eyes. "do i dare ask why?"

he's terribly competitive – whether it's a good or bad trait, he doesn't know. while he may never be a wife, being called bad at something – by his own blood, no less! – sets fire to something he tried to bury back in university.

"because you're mean and not funny and never wake up before twelve o'clock."

he gapes, putting down his serrated knife to scoff at the couch. "i am funny, thank you very much. why should you never eat a clock?"

"um, because it's made of metal and plastic?" miri answers.

"it's time-consuming," he snickers.

her head pops up over the backrest, pinched into a frown. "that isn't funny, appa."

"you don't appreciate my effort, miri. i'm hurt."

"you know who would, though?" her gaze intensifies. she points through the walls to the house to their left with the neat lawn. "he would. which makes it even worse, because then you'll love each other, and then i'll have to hear two bad jokes instead of one. it'll be in – in – insuff'rable. i learnt that word today, did you know?"

"it's 'insufferable', miri."

"you proved it! you're mean. anyway, ellie said she'd hate it if you and her appa got together."

out of protectiveness? or something learnt and cruel?

miri disappears behind the sofa again only to reappear beside it, moving towards the kitchen and leaning against jungkook's left leg.

"appa, it smells really good."

jungkook grabs a set of chopsticks and hooks out a chunk of meat. he crouches and offers the meat, holding a hand beneath her small chin to catch anything that doesn't make it to home base. nothing falls, and he draws away.

"here," jungkook murmurs. "can you set the table, please?"

"mhm."

she skips off with the cutlery in hand. jungkook carries the large bowl with the carcass and places it in the middle of the dining table, petting miri's hair on the way back to the kitchen.

he's always worried about how others perceive him. always. he's twenty-five with a school-aged kid and no mother in sight, and he makes fucking video games for a living – he's not even something respectable, like a doctor. at the very least, he could've been a nine-to-fiver, a suit amongst identical suits, and with that, his image would be inoffensive.

but video games? being a concept artist, an animator? for even a big triple-a kind of company, it's not a great reputation to kick off with: he draws colourful lines and makes things move. even though he earns a salary comfortable enough to keep his little family afloat, his name is one of hundreds as an optional post-credits roll, and it's not on the first page.

still, the way you beamed at his mumbled description of his job... it made things a little lighter to bear.

"come eat up, bub," he says. "maybe you'll entertain the idea of my future marriage once you realise how boring my dinners are."

—

pacific rim rumbles through the sound system. rather surprisingly, neither of the five-year-olds mind its big, scary battles. jungkook chalks up miri's fascination with the robots and monsters with a general nonchalance towards violence and gore. she watched train to busan when she was three – which was not jungkook's fault; she wasn't supposed to be awake and sitting spookily in the darkness on the stairs – and shrugged off most of the blood and guts as simply fake.

he should have been paying more attention to his surroundings than his laptop screen and the accident he'd sired in motionbuilder, he realises now, but a good consequence is that miri avoids frozen and its brethren like the plague. he doesn't think he'll be able to keep his sanity if he hears any movie three times consecutively.

ellie plays animal crossing on the switch, cross-legged between you and jungkook with her head against your shoulder. a leopard-print blanket wraps around her shoulders and pools in her lap. every time something explodes or crashes, she glances up, fixated for a moment, before returning to her village.

miri and anya are fast asleep on jungkook's thigh. another blanket, this one blue with thin pink stripes, covers them both, and jungkook's arm lays gently across their shoulders. he'd turned the volume right down for them and the two dogs cuddling in the labrador's bed, though his 5.1.4 speaker setup retains enough boom in the subwoofer to keep him immersed.

eventually, ellie's body droops, and the switch falls from her hands into her lap as her hair flops across her face. three quarters into the movie, you gently take her into your arms and tuck her into bed, and jungkook watches over the remaining two, tucking a silky lock of hair behind miri's ear. his leg is going numb and the tingling is growing uncomfortable, but he'll be damned if he wakes them.

you return. there's a pop-art picture of a sea dragon made of sushi on your shirt, and jungkook smiles at the sight. you slip your arms beneath anya's body and she shivers as the blanket slips off, curling deeper into your chest.

"today's been tiring for them all," you murmur as jungkook scoops miri up in the blanket. "they'll be knocked clear out until tomorrow."

the two will share a bed for the night, and they'd been gleefully planning their sleepover itinerary the entire day, whispering to each other about staying up past their bedtimes to chat about everything. you press a kiss to anya's forehead, brushing her hair off her cheek, and jungkook tucks miri's wrapped-up body beneath the duvet.

you shut the door with a quiet click. it feels final, as if you've signed a legal form, and when your gaze flickers over to jungkook, you find him already staring back with an unreadable expression, a mess of emotions warring over his doe-like features. it smooths over a split second after your eyes meet.

you tilt your head towards the kitchen with a smile. "still awake? i can break out some bourbon. i also have some red wine, if that's more your style."

"i'll take the wine, if it's not too much trouble," he replies softly. "i've already had a drink tonight and i have work in the morning."

"of course." with the girls asleep, you're free to do as you wish. you take his hand in your own, and his breath hitches. your thumb brushes over his jawline. "i'll steal a glass as well."

jungkook likes to pretend he has everything under control. his heart, however, is under a different jurisdiction, and you prod it with your smile and warm touch until it quivers, naked and bare.

then, you are gone. his pulse pounds hotly in his ears as he shuffles after you, almost afraid of what he might spill under the wine.

he'll only have a glass, he promises himself. nothing will come of it.

"i wanted to tell you this before, but we had company. your pyjamas are cute," you tell him as you set down his glass, holding the newly-opened wine bottle in the other hand. you gesture to his inked arms. "and those are gorgeous."

"thank you," he murmurs, taking the stem between his fingers. he rubs his thumb over the swell of the glass and tucks his feet behind the barstool's legs. "you ever looking to get something done?"

a smile tugs at your lips. "i already have."

his eyes widen behind the glass. he sets it down, trying to keep his prying gaze discreet. "really? what of?"

"it's here."

to his scandalised pleasure, you grab your shirt and the waistband of your sweatpants, pulling them apart to reveal a curved tattoo along your hipbone. his starved gaze roams the exposed skin, the sliver of stomach and the dangerously-low slant of your pants.

he burns with painful desire. it stings at the back of his eyes, and his back teeth grind down on nothing as he swallows harshly, lifting a hand casually to his face to hide it.

"'s pretty," he rasps, clearing his throat. his knuckles whiten around the wine glass. "when did you get it?"

"as soon as i was old enough. i was always a romantic, you see," you joke, letting go of your clothes. they fall back into place and he mourns the loss. at least he has a new fantasy to bookmark. "i thought it was cute, and she liked it, so i kept it."

she.

jungkook's heart tumbles to the pit of his stomach at the reminder of what he is – and what he isn't. he chugs the wine and chases the buzz of intoxication.

"you don't... really talk about before," he says quietly. "i-i mean, it's personal, why would you? we met last month—"

"it's been the best month of the last few years," you interrupt, filling his glass again. you reach up to bring down one for yourself and he leans forward, his mouth dry as he catches a slit of skin as your shirt rides up.

it's almost funny how desperate he is.

"y-yeah?"

"yeah." you set the glass on the bench, opposite jungkook. you reach for his hand and he watches with bated breath as you link your fingers lazily with his. "moving has always been a hard experience, especially with those two troublemakers to keep an eye on, and you've been amazing to me – to us – all this time. jungkook, you made it easy to fall into a routine i enjoy."

"oh." he grips your fingers. "so... her, huh? are the kids hers?"

"yep."

"were you ever married?"

"for a while."

it pops out before he can stop it. "what happened?"

"okay..." you offer him a tight smile, unlinking your fingers to fill your glass higher than it's supposed to be.

last page, the end. that part of you will not be touched again.

"i'm sorry, yn-ssi—"

"'hyung'," you interrupt. "you can call me 'hyung', jungkook. our dogs are in love – i'd like to think we're closer than those formalities."

he nods, a little uncertain. it shows in his eyes, flitting about your kitchen as if searching for the nearest door. "if you think so, hyung."

you smile, and this one is looser, easy to enjoy. "better. what about you – would you ever think of finding someone?"

he laughs breathily, briefly pressing the back of his thumb to his lower lip. "ah, well. you know how it is. i've got miri to worry about."

"and a girlfriend wouldn't adore her, too? that spells trouble."

his mouth twitches in some semblance of a smile, small and wry. "i hear that's your biggest problem. anya mentioned that you're pretty popular, but that she's a deterrent."

you sigh, rounding the bench and taking a seat near him at the dining table. you rest an arm over the back of the chair. "what can you do, right? there's nothing to be done except wait and hope that the perfect one will come along sooner or later. other friends always tell me that i don't need anyone, that i'm doing really well."

you rub the back of your neck, and jungkook follows the tendons leading down past your collar. you smile up at him, warmer than usual. "but i've always been selfish."

"it wouldn't only be a girlfriend," jungkook says suddenly. he grabs the bottle of wine and tops up his glass far more than a single standard drink. "i'm, uh, you know... kind of into everyone. but i'm loyal. if there's one thing that i am, that's it."

"would you like to go on record with that for the company's diversity initiative?"

he turns, and you grin a little dorkily back at him, a wine-touched buzz in your veins. he rolls his eyes and huffs a laugh, raising his glass. "sure, if it gets me someone nice to talk to. fuck, i can't remember the last time i just... went to a bar and didn't give a shit. let loose." he sighs. "i was terrible in university – god, it physically pains me. i've known miri since she was a baby, but sometimes i wonder if she was the only one, you know?"

you reach out and push his thigh with a chuckle. "hey, no frowning; it's bad for your skin. it's not good to dwell on possibles, jungkook. you have miri. you have me. those are certainties. agonising over what might be does nothing for anyone."

as he turns on the stool, his tongue runs over his lower lip. he grips the seat between his thighs, one knee bouncing. "but what if—"

"jungkook, the more you stress over it, the less you're present with miri. she's a sweet girl – please don't neglect her for uncertainties."

your hands cup his, reassuring and warm, as you pull your chair in. his head bobs in a small, slow nod.

"i guess you're right," he mumbles. "hey, hyung... were you always a chef?"

you laugh. "no. i had ellie when i was pretty young and i jumped from job to job for some time. i made decks for a while – carpentry. did other contract jobs. i only went to culinary school a few years ago when i had the funds for it."

"how did you know?" he asks softly. "how did you know it was all gonna be okay?"

you shrug. "i didn't. i just took it one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time, and eventually, i got here." you rest your chin over his knuckles and hum, gazing up at him. "don't think. just do. you'll be alright, jungkook. my door is never closed to you, even if you just want to drink all my wine and eat all my cereal."

he laughs, barely more than a soft giggle. "thanks, hyung. that... actually made me feel better, weirdly enough."

"good. i don't like seeing you upset." you squeeze his hands. "you're looking rather pink. you should slow down with the wine."

he glances at his empty glass and the nearly-empty bottle. he can't remember drinking so much. his cheeks are hot. "yeah. yeah, i probably should." he begins to rise. "sorry for—"

your arms wrap firmly around his waist as he stumbles. he blinks harshly, his horizons tilting dangerously.

"did you spike that?" he jokes half-heartedly. "shit, i'm regressing to a lightweight..."

"you drank three-quarters of the bottle in the time it takes me to have a shower. that's called being an idiot, not a lightweight."

your palm cups his cheek. it's cool and soothing against jungkook's burning skin, and it burns hotter when he realises he can feel your heartbeat through his own ribs. his traitorous hands are already placed on your sides.

"we are... incredibly close right now," he whispers.

your eyes flicker down to his lips, pink and parted. "i don’t mind."

you take the point of his chin between your thumb and forefinger, tilting his head up from his flushed downcast gaze. his hands hover over your ribs, his own cracking with the force of his heart, and he slides them over your chest to grasp the back of your neck, his thumbs stroking the slope of your jawline.

"jungkook," you murmur against his warm lips, "we should do this tomorrow. when your mind's clearer."

"tomorrow i might not do anything. i'm a coward, hyung. please... just once? so i can remember what it's like?"

he leans in again, and you don't stop him. his lips mould with yours, the sweet, dark flavour zinged with a slight bitterness. he hums softly as your arms tighten around his slender waist.

when you finally part, you're both gasping for air, and jungkook offers a giddy smile.

"man," he pants, "that's a lot more fun than i remember."

"i think you just have to find the right person to do it with." you laugh quietly and he drops his head onto your shoulder, hiding his blush.

"would you be mine?" he asks, allowing a fleck of hope to plague his voice. "would you be my boyfriend, yn-hyung?"

you brush a lock of his hair out of his eyes. "ask me again tomorrow. i want to be sure you'll remember what you've done – it'd be pretty awkward if you forgot and i came up and kissed you."

he huffs. "i'm not that drunk – look, i'm a little tipsy. maybe a bit more than tipsy. whatever the case, i'm not gonna forget this." he runs his tongue over his lower lip slowly, as if to savour something. "i'll ask again in the morning – with one condition."

you tilt your head, eyes gentle. "and what might that be?"

"a goodnight kiss. doesn't have to be on the lips, but it would be nice—"

you shut him up. he melts into it, tilting his head to deepen it, and he presses his whole body into yours, as if he can open up your skin and step inside, as close as close allows.

here is someone who understands him – here is his heart, here are his lungs, here is the flesh and bone that forms love. he loves love, and the carrot cake that love cuts for him, and the peaceful sleeping puppies resting their heads on each others' backs in love's living room.

he kisses you again, and his touch is the blinding supernova of a promise.

[lixiebokie]

can’t be friend, cant be your lover

idol: hwang hyunjin x reader

summary: the time y/n showed up at hyunjins house and the time hyunjin showed up at hers.

warnings: angst, that’s it lol not proof read

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she didn’t know if this was a stupid idea, but she needed to see him one last time. his pretty face with that stupid little mole under his chocolate eyes and his beautiful smile. she was telling herself it was for closure, even though she had been the one to break up with him.

hyunjin opened the door, luckily she assumed if it was one of his roommates then she wouldnt be allowed in.

“y/n? what are you doing here?” she felt like she was going to break at the sound of his voice. so close to surrender the wall she had been building up and beg for him back. his hair was messy, and he was in comfortable clothes but he managed to look amazing.

“i came to see you.” he didn’t answer still looking at her.

“can i come in?”

“i don’t think you should-.” he sighed not budging from the door frame. the rain had made the goosebumps on her arms rise but it couldn’t be seen over her cardigan.

“i want to see you, before it was.. over i guess.”

hyunjins face grew sturn, “it was over the day you broke up with me.”

she didn’t know what to say. “should i go get your stuff?” he asked. she didn’t answer losing focus after his sentence gave her a harsh reality check.

“you don’t want to fight for this?”

“y/n i tried to fight for us the day you called it quits. i got on my knees and begged like a dog and you still sent me away.” his voice raised throughout the sentence. “what more do you want from me?”

“hyunjin-“

“no i think you should go.” she didn’t look at him again instead turning on her heels and running down the steps of his garden.

she didn’t look back but also didn’t hear the door close, it confused her but she realised it was in fact a stupid idea.

——

it was the middle of the night when she found hyunjin crawling infront of her front door. as soon as she opened the door the limp body had monunvered their way in through her legs.

if it was anyone else she would have scream for them to get out but seeing who it was she let them land in the kitchen where they came to a halt and sprawl on the floor.

“hyunjin get up please.” he groaned eyes closed as if he was going to fall asleep there.

“take me to bed.”

“no, you don’t live here anymore.”

“i do.” he slurred out through his yawns. she moved away to the sink to grab him a glass of water. in that time he curled up and fell asleep on the tiles.

apart of her wanted to shake him away and tell him to leave straight away but a bigger part of her wanted to make him comfy in a bed that was once theirs and cuddle him.

“hyunjin.” she crouched and tapped his face lightly.

he wasnt asleep instead tucked away to hide the tears rolling down his soft cheeks. his face glowed in the moon light and they were so apparent.

“y/n i love you.” he cried out, she ignored him as she helped him up and walked him over to the couch in the living room.

he flopped down onto it still crying out for her as she went to grab the duvet off her bed to give him. his words didn’t feel like they meant anything, all drunken words nothing more to her.

she wanted them to be real and if he was in a sober state saying the things he was now she would have slightly believed him.

coming back down the stairs she could see hyunjin had fallen back to sleep. his cheek pressed against the seat of the couch and he’d turned on the movie she had paused to answer his knocks.

she tucked him in adjusting his head onto the pillow.

she should have walked away and went to bed herself but she crouched down, moving his hair out the way and stroking his face. his skin was soft like always. “you shouldn’t have come here.” she whispered her voice breaking.

she wasn’t sure if he could hear or not, hyunjin was stubborn anyway and pretended to be asleep a lot of the time when they were together to receive extra cuddles or kisses. “but i guess you can stay.” she placed a small kiss on top of his head staying there for a few seconds before getting up and heading to her own bed. turning off the tv and heading upstairs. she turned taking one last look at him, his back towards her. she walked away before it was too late and she couldn’t do something she’d been stopped herself from since they split.

hyunjin was gone before she came down stairs in the morning.

she wanted to have a chat with him before he left but as she arrived in the living room no one was there. she couldn’t convince herself it was a dream because the duvet was nicely folded and sat on the couch, the only thing present a small note on top. ‘sorry for the inconvenience:(‘ written in rushing handwriting.

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author notes: this didn’t take long but i was listening to memories and thought this would be a good fic so enjoy ❤️

[taeraeszn]

Hey!! Imagine " Using another members perfume" w/ zb1 !

how would zb1 react to you using another members perfume?

hi luvely! thank you for requesting! i hope these fulfill your request <3 i also wanted to say thank you to those who have requested since i literally have no idea on what to write LOL. also happy early bday to matthew!! we luv u <3

also sorry for any spelling mistakes, i'm in need of sleep right now lol

warnings: mention of food, lmk if there's any more!

kim jiwoong

you two were getting ready for a date night and jiwoong had already finished before you and was now waiting on you

the minute you walked out of the bathroom, jiwoong was in disbelief that he managed to find someone this stunning

he immediately wrapped his arms around you, leaving a sweet kiss on your lips

"you look so stunning." says the man who always looks his best

but as he pulled away, he smelt something he was not expecting

"why do you smell like hanbin?" his brow jerked up

you slightly giggled, "oh hanbin let me use his perfume!"

you could tell that jiwoong didn't seem happy but you giggled and pulled him back into your embrace

"don't be jelly~it's just perfume."

he began slightly blushing, "yeah yeah, let's go." shy jiwoong was the best version of kim jiwoong

you decided not to tease him any further and left for your date, but in the end, he knew he was yours

rest of the members are under the cut!

zhang hao

you were about to leave the house to do some errands but hao was still deep in his slumber due to his hectic schedule as an idol

well that's what you thought, until you heard him faintly call your name before you could even shut the front door

"(name)? where are you going?"

"i'm going to do some errands!" that's when you saw hao in his pj's and messy hair

"can you get some soap? we've been needing-" he immediately cut himself off as he sniffed something

his face scrunched up, and the realization came to him, you smell a lot like matthew

"wait-did you...why do you smell like matthew?"

"matthew let me borrow his perfume!" you could see a pout slowly forming on hao's face

"but i don't want you to smell like someone that isn't me.."

you giggled at your sleepy boyfriend then cupped his soft cheeks

"don't worry hao, you'll always be my favourite scent."

sung hanbin

you and hanbin were cuddling together in his room, unbothered by the chaos in the living room that was ensued by jiwoong bringing home the pizza they ordered

"you're not hungry?" you questioned hanbin, he shook his head and continued to nuzzle his face into your neck

the room suddenly became silent for a while until hanbin abruptly sat up from your comfortable position. he shot you a puzzled look

"what?" you said. he sniffed your collar once more and his brow rose up

"that scent smells way too much like jiwoong hyung."

"jiwoong suggested that i try his perfume since i've been wanting to buy some! it smells nice right?"

hanbin's facial expression said otherwise to your question

"does this mean that each time we cuddle i'm going to smell jiwoong hyung?"

you playfully hit his shoulder, "of course not! if you don't want me to wear his perfume then i won't. i don't want to think your cuddling one of your members instead of me."

he gave you his adorable grin (you already know)

"good.."

seok matthew

"here (name)! try mine!" matthew heard ricky say to you. his deep conversation with taerae was quickly paused as he heard this

"thanks ricky, you didn't have to though!"

"no problem! it smells really good, trust me." ricky then walked away since gyuvin called him to help cook dinner

matthew then excused himself from taerae and approached you, he saw that you were holding one of ricky's perfumes

the young and rich man definitely had lots of them and didn't plan on keeping that one so he handed it to you

"ricky gave you his perfume?" you nodded and showed him it

"it already smells so good!" matthew couldn't get a word in before you began spraying it on your wrist

"see! smell it!" he complied but still seemed a bit upset, you noticed this and cupped his cheeks, "what's wrong?"

"nothing it's just..." his cheeks began heating up as he was embarrassed to reveal his feeling, "i don't want you to smell like another guy."

"don't worry matt, i love you and only want you." (wink wonk)

he pulled you into his arms, "of course. i love you too."

kim taerae

"taerae? can you help me with choosing an outfit?" you shouted inside as you searched inside your closet for something to wear

your boyfriend poked his head out from his bed curtain, "sure!"

when you got closer, you now had two outfits in your hands. for today, you both decided on going out for breakfast instead of staying home and eating cereal

"wow! they both look great!" taerae exclaimed then getting out of bed

after some deliberation in his head, he pointed at the one in your left hand

but for some odd reason he couldn't remove the thought in his head that was saying you smelt familiar to someone else

"uh, babe? how come i smell gunwook's perfume?"

"he gave it to me since he didn't want it anymore!" you could see his face slightly dropping at your words

he thought about it for a second until he ran to his side table and grabbed one of his, handing it to you

"here! use this instead!" you smirked

"kim taerae! don't tell me your jealous~" you could see the dimples form as he looked down in embarrassment

"and what if i am?"

"it's okay babe, i'll wear yours more often."

ricky shen

it was the first time ricky was visiting your house so you decided to give him a tour

"ricky look!" you exclaimed and showed him your desk where all your beauty products were

"wow it's so organized!" he touched one of your perfumes that was placed in a container on your desk. as he was observing it, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something he was not expecting

"huh? this is taerae's" he grabbed one of the perfumes that was standing there

a few days back taerae lended you his perfume to use but you forgot to return it, leaving it to sit there with the rest of your perfume's, you didn't think ricky would care much

"oh this? it smells really good try it!"

you sprayed some of it on yourself, inhaling the sweet scent, then attempted to spray it on your boyfriend who declined

"it's okay, i just wasn't expecting you to have one of my members perfume..." he shyly revealed, scratching his neck while smiling

seeing ricky like this was pretty rare so you were loving this sight

you then pulled lovelicky into a hug, giving a small kiss on the cheek as well

"don't worry babe, i'll return it today! that way you can let me borrow one of yours instead!"

kim gyuvin

“okay..airpods check, charger for phone...check! sunglasses...check. what else am I missing?”

gyuvin was currently packing to go to japan with his members since there was an overseas schedule he had to attend

he then realized he couldn’t find his airpod charger despite looking everywhere in his dorm! he then remembered that you left your bag in his dorm since you were out with yujin and asked him to protect it

you were fine with him going through it since he always left his stuff inside of it

he immediately began scavenging your bag, though he did manage to find his charger, he also found yujin’s perfume

just then you arrived back and noticed him snooping

“hey no snooping!” you yelled playfully, going to sit next to him

he smirked, “yeah care to tell me what this is?” he showed you yujin’s perfume. you looked at him blankly and began laughing out loud

“oh gyuvin..yujin just asked me to put it in my bag since he was afraid gunwook would take it! I tried it and it smelt good!”

he gave you a dead glare, “oh..okay…but no more wearing it.”

you jokingly put your hands up, "deal."

park gunwook

you two were heading home from school as it had just ended. you always walked home with your boyfriend since you didn't live too far from each other

gunwook was also aware that you were friends with all of his members and had no problems with that

as you two were approaching his house, you suddenly stopped in your tracks

“ugh I smell so bad.” you took your bag off to grab something from inside

“it’s must’ve been because you were sitting in the grass during break.” he giggled

“I couldn’t resist! the weather was so nice today!”

you grabbed the perfume that hao gave you a few days prior and sprayed it on your uniform

“much better!” you tried to put it back into your bag but your boyfriend had already snatched it from your hand

"hey! give it back!" you tried taking it back but gunwook being tall, put his hand up high in a way you couldn't reach

“wow so you’ll wear hao hyung’s perfume but not mine?” he joked, feeling a little sad on the inside

“yours was running out!” you exclaimed

"i'm your boyfriend though!" he argued back

"fine, i'll stop wearing hao's, just let me return it to him." he then smirked, "it's okay, i'll return it."

han yujin

it was the weekend and yujin was staying over at your house since you had the place to yourself for today

he was just chilling on your bed when you walked out from the bathroom, sporting your new set of clothing

"are you hungry? we can order pizza." you suggested

"sure!" he smiled already opening the food delivery app on his phone

you went to your desk to grab the perfume gyuvin handed you, but as you began spraying it, yujin was puzzled by the familiar scent

he shut his phone off right away and sat up

"why do you have gyuvin hyung's perfume?"

you shrugged, "he gave it to me."

"you could've used mine.." yujin pouted

you couldn't help but chuckle at how your boyfriend was acting and sat down with him

"it's just perfume."

"yeah but when i'm with you i don't want to think i'm with the members."

"don't worry, you have me all to yourself." you reassured, causing yujin to smile happily again and continue placing the pizza order

[wisteriainslumber]

Seeing is Believing - Breakdown

Welcome alll!! I am starting a new series for my fics, where I basically throw in some trivia, reveal a few of my reoccurring writing themes/motifs, and walk through my fics!

I'll only be going through a few specific scenes at my leisure or upon request, so this post will be the first and last time we walk through an entire fic together. Now, let's get started wooo

This contains spoilers and all tags applicable to seeing is believing!

*Note: the original fic is still very open to interpretation. this post plucks out hints that may assist in your interpretation of it

Names

The presence of names are so important in my fics. The importance of the names lies less in the meaning but more in their appearance. Names gives someone an identity, and being named hints at someone's reappearance or their significance in the plot!

Ortho regards BeBe and Pabby with importance, treating them like they are alive. Later on, Ortho's attachment to them serves as a pivotal point in the climax of the plot.

And who can forget Moirai, the Fates, Idia's favourite idol group? Their name appearance is a subtle foreshadow, as Atropos is the Fate that cuts the thread of life ^^

(This exchange right at the start with the headmaster hints about why Atropos is Idia's 'bias'. Get it? cause he wants to di-)

Here's another appearance of a name! 'Persie' is the name of a cat Cater & Idia own in another work of mine. Remember when Idia and Mal talked about multiple universes? Readers who recognize this cameo can catch that it is from a different universe! But readers who do not can think of it as 'Persie' being named off 'Persephone', the Lady who now lives between the over and underworlds.

The second paragraph also details another work of mine, untitled and unreleased as of now, but the appearance of both of these paragraphs supports that the magical collision of both Malleus and Idia combined managed to tear its way into new universes (or, Idia got hit hard enough he saw through the multiple universes the two talked about earlier!)

And if the appearance of names marks someone's significance, then the lack of a name marks.. well :)

A brief intermission for an interesting fact :D Remember when Idia brushed off BeBe and Pabby as stiches and fabric?

Later on, Ortho echoes his words. It is due to a bunch of reasons, with a prominent one being that Idia unintentionally programmed his own thought process into Ortho.

Idia's relationship with Malleus

Malleus is constantly belittling or treating Idia like a toddler, which reflects in Idia's internal monologue, a 'conscience' that was fed to him. He'll find a way to reassure himself, saying that things were because of iron deficiency, or eye strain, and barely questions why he can't see anything clearly anymore.

When Idia is revealing the hidden messages in his room, there is a mention that a 'Marionette brings false hope' along with an onimous message to 'Believe in One'

We know these messages were fed to him via Malleus because they refer to Ortho as a doll/puppet (and is basically puppeteering everyone). Mal likes to play God™, and there's a conversation that follows where Malleus tells Idia,

Idia is on constant surveillance from Malleus, since Ortho is not asleep at all, Malleus doesn't know how to portray the Ortho Idia knows! So Malleus always chatting to Idia, prying information from him.

From Mal's POV, they're only doing research in order to provide Idia the sweetest of dreams, and that Idia's rebellion is trivial or a phase.

They even get on a nickname basis later, a sign of 'close friends', in order for Idia to let down his guard. The way that Idia immediately dials up Malleus' number hints to how many times it has been done :)

There is a constant mention of birthdays for a reason! There are themes of rebirth and death, and it may assist you in cracking these codes :)

This is left open in the narrative, but the way everything is so messy and cryptic is actually because Malleus is seriously monitoring everything! These fragments of writing that Idia doesn't remember are his own way of helping himself, because he'd (and Ortho) could possibly be the only ones to understand!

These bold dialogue choices are Mal's overblot voice showing, a break in Idia's reality if you will.

get it bc this is what a parent would do

We know the Ortho that Idia speaks to on the phone is an illusion, but Malleus spies on Idia through Ortho. A few slips ups being that he recalls memories differently and even encourages Idia to put on a lullaby.

+ this is the second mention of comets in the fic!

And at the end, we do eventually find out Ortho was being puppeteered by the blot/Malleus all along. rip to those sweet dreams

Stars, Time, and Death(?)

I use the star dividers to indicate a new dream cycle or timeline. Idia will constantly mix up dates, if it was the start of the semester, someone's birthday, etc. He also mixes up technical language and personal language when referring to Ortho. It goes to show how many times the universe had to be reset because of Idia 'waking up' or questioning his faith in Malleus haha

Comets appear whenever Idia thinks of Ortho. We are led to believe that it is because Idia recalls the Starsending event, even Idia directly comparing Ortho to a shooting star in the narrative. However, in our fourth mention of the comets they are referred to in a negative connotation.

Comets are notoriously bad luck because when people first saw them they thought the world was ending LMAOOO. So, now it is revealed that the comets were a 'bad sign', and who else would be trying to send a bad signs coincidentally when Ortho is mentioned.. hmmm..

A few working titles for this fic was 'samsara' and 'comet sighting', but were scrapped because I liked how the final title was a fun nod to the Orpheus and Eurydice story as well as how Idia never actually does see Ortho (Remember, Malleus is the only one Idia sees clearly). A new branch or loop begins when Idia recognizes Ortho.

The hand in the mirror, the horses that pull the carriage, and of course, the students being 'reborn' from a coffin are some nods to how Yuu was transported to Night Raven College.

Before the Yuu emerges from the coffin, they hear horses (presumably taking them to the school). So basically we end with hearing the horses and the story basically starts again with Idia coming out from the coffin. Time loop!! (or he's dead, who knows).

This story was always meant to be read multiple times! The first for the shock factor, the second to digest, and the other times to analyze or enjoy it however you'd like. These texts support the death/rebirth motif of the game as well as the circumstances of this fic!

And that's the end, thanks for reading! I hope you found this a little bit interesting and if you'd like to see more then let me know! Maybe some time in the future, I'll reveal some of my favourite drafts and deleted scenes.

[rain-herb]

into the light

a short reikoga / kogarei piece i wrote like a month ago, slightly edited ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ [AO3 link]

“If I were to say, however,” Rei continues on, a small smile on his lips, “between us, you would be the sun, and I would be the moon.”

“I guess the moon does fit with your vampire image,” he muses, thinking of magazines with the special Feature Live outfits, what is your idol like up close and personal? sections and pictures of them in casual clothes, living their daily life. Sakuma Rei bathed in moonlight, smiling majestically. And now, Rei is sitting by his vegetable garden in a thin jacket over a long sleeved shirt he usually wears to sleep, chuckling at his words.

“That too, but that’s not entirely it.”

“Then what is it?”

Koga goes on a late night walk with Sakuma Rei.

..

By the third time Oogami Koga sits up in his bed, it becomes clear that he will not be getting any more sleep tonight.

For the longest time, he has made it a habit to go to bed around ten if he doesn’t have anything else to take care of, as an early riser who has a dog to walk in the morning and tasks to work on. 

This night in particular though, he got up to take a sip of water after waking from a weird dream he doesn’t remember much of, and all feelings of drowsiness just left him without a trace.

Has it been an hour? He consciously avoids looking at the clock (which comes with hands that glow in the dark, which should be convenient for time-checking in the dark, but not very much for sleepless nights where looking at the time only increases anxiety), lies down and continues to toss and turn around in his bed. The sound of the air conditioner feels louder than ever. He considers getting up and making himself a cup of hot chocolate, but that might wake his roommate up, and he knows that Kazehaya-senpai is very tired from a whole day of rehearsals for his unit’s upcoming collab LIVE.

Koga pulls his blanket over his shoulders and lets out a muffled curse. Five minutes pass—or maybe half an hour, he can’t be sure—and he gives up, sitting up in his bed.

A quick glance at the other side of the room tells him that his roommate is fast asleep. As quietly as he could manage, he gets up, changes into his usual practice clothes and slips out of the room.

As he turns the corner leading to the stairs of the dorm building, he finds himself face to face with Sakuma Rei, who he has not seen for almost a week due to Rei’s various photoshoots taking place in another city. His hair is messy in a way that suggests he just rolled out of bed (or his coffin) too.

“Koga,” Rei says, smiling.

“Sakuma-senpai,” he says back in greeting, some of his irritation already gone at the sight of that familiar face. Rei seems to brighten up as well.

“Hello to you too,” Rei nods. “No late night or early morning practice sessions today. Sorry.”

He shakes his head. “That’s fine. What are you doing up? Didn’t you just come back?” Koga asks, recalling their exchanges on LINE, the random, blurry pictures taken of cracked stone paths and the scenery from behind a dusty bus window. Rei’s pictures, being what they are, are not quite Instagram worthy in the way Kaoru’s pictures are (not that he has ever been an avid social media user), so he usually just sends them in the UNDEAD group chat or directly to Koga sometimes, accompanied with a string of kaomojis that he supposes are Rei's attempts at showing that he is, indeed, capable of using such features.

Rei shrugs. “Same reason as always. I did manage to get a few hours of sleep on the bus trip back.”

He makes a face - Rei’s sleeping habits are better now compared to before, but still. “You should go lie down for a while anyway.”

“I will, after this walk. And I can say the same to you too, Koga.”

“I couldn’t sleep. And there’s no school or work or lessons tomorrow, so I can just take a nap later in the day if I’m tired.”

“Okay. Come walk with me then.” And with that, Rei disappears down the stairs soundlessly, like a ghost in the night. Koga hurries after him.

Sometimes on the nights where they head off to early band practice, they would run into some other kid having a walk and getting some fresh air outside the dorms. He’s glad that tonight isn’t one of those nights.

They walk along the building. Rei asks him about school and club activities. He answers those questions, tells him about the twins, about Ricchi, even about teachers and class. The recent guitar lessons remain a secret, because he wants it to be a surprise. He asks about work and the trip and the food Rei had. Apparently the place has a lot of famous dessert shops. Not all were sweet, I think you would like some of them, says Sakuma-senpai. The breeze is cool and comfortable.

As they get close to the gardening area, Rei’s footsteps begin to slow. He approaches the neatly lined still-growing vegetables with great interest.

“How lovely.” He touches a tomato with a single outstretched finger. Koga swats his hand away defensively out of pure habit, to which he raises both hands, expression innocent, like he might just start doing his world-famous fake cry right this moment. Koga quickly cuts him off before that could happen.

“I wonder if I’ll have space to do gardening like this when I eventually move into my own home in the future.”

“What kind of house would you like to live in?”

“I dunno. I guess I could still grow stuff like tomatoes and onions and lettuce in an apartment, though the space would be much smaller than what I’m used to.”

Rei adds, “it has to have soundproof walls.”

A nod. “That’s for sure.”

“And extra space for Leon-kun.”

“He did fine in my small apartment from before and he’s okay in my current dorm room, but that sounds nice. He’d like it.”

“I’m sure it will be nice.”

“What kind of place would you like to stay in, Sakuma-senpai?” he asks, because surely Rei doesn’t enjoy his current rooming arrangement despite being somewhat used to it by now. His mind drifts back to certain hot summer days, the mention of houses with red roofs and lawns big enough for puppies. He couldn’t imagine Rei actually sitting in a lawn like that and sipping iced coffee while watching Leon (why would he be there in the first place?) have fun running around under the sun, but maybe it isn’t so hard to actually see after all. The idea of Sakuma Rei, all grown and happy, living in a home of his own. It is something he’d like to see become a reality more than anything else, he thinks.

Rei looks at him with that seemingly all-knowing stare, which puts in him the strange thought that Rei has managed to read his mind from the small smile that managed to sneak onto his lips for a few seconds. Which is impossible, of course, but Sakuma Rei just has that effect on people.

Rei’s eyes remain on him. Koga half expects him to say that same response from back then and then start musing about the past and the strange times they’ve gone through together, as he often does, like he’s actually an old man recounting his youth. He does not do that, however.

“It’s not something I have thought about much,” he says after a while. “I have to admit though, the idea of a home for UNDEAD is a nice one.”

The four of them, staying together. It’s something Koga has found himself thinking of before entering Yumenosaki (even if it was just about Sakuma-senpai at that time), before he waved it off as something unlikely to happen. It’s not something he expected Rei to want, however. Rei, who at some point he thought only put this unit of theirs together to please everyone. In a sense, UNDEAD was formed because it was a solution to everyone’s wishes at the time. Adonis needed a purpose; Kaoru needed something to pass time with, even if he didn’t think so then, and it wasn’t really Rei’s business. And Koga wanted a unit, despite his constant claims of being a lone wolf. He wanted to be with Sakuma Rei. So Rei only did what seemed natural - gathered all these scattered pieces and put them together. He always knew the best, after all. And they had fit together, even if it had taken a bit of time.

“I don’t think Hakaze-senpai would like to see our faces more than he already does now,” he says, half joking.

Rei laughs heartily, and it is a wonderful sound. “Perhaps. We could still be his annoying neighbours. That’s probably still on a level that he would find acceptable.”

That scenario is weirdly clear as he lets it play in his head, and he couldn't help but smile a little. “And Adonis would stay with him because he’s the favourite.”

Rei raises his eyebrows. “Is this your way of saying that you’d stay with me then?”

“You were the first to imply that!” Koga says immediately, maybe a little too loudly, and then immediately places a hand over his mouth and lowers his volume, conscious of the current time. “But you know what? Sure. Sure, I would.”

“You always get embarrassed so easily, Koga,” Rei says, something like fondness crinkling in his eyes. “I remember you once said that you wanted to stay with me forever, when you were a first year. You were such a cute and honest boy then.”

He pointedly ignores the last statement. “Well, we are chasing after the same goals, so I’d say that’s still true.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah,” he says, voice small and averting his eyes, trying to search for something else he could talk about because he’s not talking about such things with Sakuma-senpai now lest he end up spilling certain thoughts that lie deep within his mind at this moment, which wouldn’t be unacceptable or terrible or whatever - just the two of them, under the moonlight - but he would much prefer doing so somewhere that’s not his vegetable garden before dayspring. “There’s a full moon tonight, huh. I didn’t realise.”

His Sakuma-senpai very kindly does not point out how terrible that change in topic was executed. “I didn’t realise either.”

“Speaking of, that glasses basta—” A cough, “— Hasumi-senpai , he said something once. Something about trying to catch up to you would be like the moon trying to catch up to the sun.”

Rei hums. “So an impossible feat , huh? That guy and his metaphors, honestly. I guess he really was going through something back then. He didn’t need to become someone like me or anyone though.” 

Koga does not say anything to that. He reaches out and plucks a weed from the garden, resisting the urge to call Hasumi-senpai a moron, to say I would, though, I never cared about such things or whatever he said then, I said I would stay and I did . He does not say any of that. They both already knew that for a very long time.

“If I were to say, however,” Rei continues on, a small smile on his lips, “between us, you would be the sun, and I would be the moon.”

“I guess the moon does fit with your vampire image,” he muses, thinking of magazines with the special Feature Live outfits, what is your idol like up close and personal? sections and pictures of them in casual clothes, living their daily life. Sakuma Rei bathed in moonlight, smiling majestically. (After his own section was published, Anzu showed him the pictures, pointed out to him how similar he was to Rei. The way you carry yourself, she had said, and your smile. Perhaps he is rubbing off on you. And then he had said how would that even work? in response, but couldn’t help the spark of elation in his heart.) And now, Rei is sitting by his vegetable garden in a thin jacket over a long sleeved shirt he usually wears to sleep, chuckling at his words.

“That too, but that’s not entirely it.”

“Then what is it?”

Rei presses a finger to his lips. “Not telling.”

After that he gets to his feet, which makes Koga think for a moment that he’s just going to make his escape after leaving him with a whole load of questions (a common occurrence, really), but then he just goes to the open space near the benches and lies down on the grass. Honestly, he doesn’t even mind that Rei doesn’t want to tell him the reason, since he’s fairly sure that it will turn out to be some sappy shit or another one of Rei’s odd analogies that Koga won’t understand anyway.

“What are you doing?” Koga sighs, following after him. He stands there for a few seconds before deciding to just plop down next to Rei. The grass is somewhat itchy and uncomfortable to sit on directly, so he shifts around a little in his spot, wondering if Rei doesn’t have a problem with this due to his extra layer of clothes, or he’s just good at ignoring the terrible, terrible feeling (unlikely, considering the way he is sprawled out on the grass). Either way, he’ll have to bring a picnic blanket along next time, he decides. 

“If you wanna sleep, go back to your room.” He pokes Rei in the side of his head with a finger. His hair is soft. 

“No.” Rei shuts his eyes. So he has switched the usual old man persona for the lesser seen bratty child one (which he himself dubs as ‘Rei-chan’, according to Kaoru, the words said in the most annoying, sugary sweet voice he could muster). 

“I’m not helping carry you back after this,” Koga says, looking upwards at the sky.

“I’ll call Adonis-kun and have him lend me his strong, reliable arms.”

“You don’t even have your phone with you,” Koga points out, wrapping his arms around his knees.

Rei makes a noise that sounds like a mix between mild annoyance and agreement.

“That’s true. Well, too bad then.” He turns on his side, his back facing Koga, who’s just kind of amused at this point. Koga turns to lie down as well, but then gets the terrible feeling of grass against his arm and back, and then immediately springs back up. A small chuckle goes off from next to him.

He nudges his arm lightly. “Sakuma-senpai.” 

“I’m already asleep,” comes his reply.

“Let’s go. I’m not letting you catch a cold on me here. We can go sit in the common area or something. And then we can go over our new songs or pull up some concert or show to watch.”

“’s nothing to worry about. I don’t get sick that easily.”

He huffs. “Sure you don’t.”

Rei rolls back on his back. “Help me get up.”

“No,” Koga replies, but goes to pull on his outstretched hand anyway after standing up, ignoring the huge grin on Rei's face as he does so. After Rei manages to get up, Koga starts heading back towards the direction of the dorms, but Rei does not let go of his hand, which… okay, sure, whatever. He doesn’t mind. 

He does, however, comment on how cold Rei’s hand is, to which Rei jokes that’s why I have you here to keep me warm. He rolls his eyes and says okay. They continue walking.

“Koga.”

“Hmm?” Koga says, voice soft.

“—Koooga.”

He contemplates his life choices before going, “What is it?”

“You’re like the sun. And I am able to shine again thanks to your light.”

He pauses his step, turns to look at Rei.

“...Is this about what you were going to say earlier?”

“Yeah.”

He considers, goes over a few possible responses. The tone Rei used to say all of that sounded casual but sincere enough, so he’s not getting teased if he gives a proper answer. Probably. But then, he finds that he doesn’t really care if he ends up getting teased anyway, because how could he, in such a moment? 

“I’m glad,” he says in the end, because he is; he is never not glad to be here next to Sakuma Rei. He squeezes Rei’s hand. “That’s all I wanted.”

Rei beams. “I will be counting on you in the future as well, Koga.”

The future . After all of the things that happened the past few years, Koga feels like he could say with certainty that he looked forward to the future, graduating high school, celebrating anniversaries with UNDEAD, whatever there is to come. 

“The same goes for me, Sakuma-senpai.”

[dari-ede]

Seven Times I Hated Kim Seokjin: Ch 3

CHAPTER 3: "When You Kiss Me Heaven Sighs"

Chapters : 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05(M) | 06(M) | 07

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Idol!Jin x Female Character

Rating: M (language and future sexual explicit scene)

Summary: Kim Seokjin really knows how to ruffle my feathers. I was happy with my mundane life. What gave him the right to disrupt it???

Status: Complete

************

"I hope you're aware that nothing funny is going to happen tonight," I told Jin teasingly as I stood at the entrance of his dorm.

He let out a light chuckle as he helped me out of my sweater and hung it along the wall. "I know. I only wanted to bring you here so we could have a little more privacy."

"Why would you want more privacy?" I asked, my eyes narrowing in a chide-like way. I was clearly joking, of course.

He hung his head down in embarrassment as he smiled. "Stop insinuating I'm insinuating things."

"I'm just asking simple questions, is all," I said, turning on my heel and stepping into the open living room.

Looking around the area, one would never guess that seven males in their early to mid-20s lived here. I had a brother and cousin I grew up around and both of them were messy. There were several items that seemed out of place and a few corners I could spot that were dirty, but overall, it was pretty clean and neat. A skeptical part of me believed Jin had thoroughly cleaned the area right before I arrived. The smell of floral chemicals were lingering in the air.

"So, what are you planning on doing with me if it isn't to stain my virtue?" I asked, turning to him.

His smile had yet to leave. Motioning me to follow him, we went over to the kitchen.

On the stove, I could see he was preparing something. It smelled pretty good. The smells worked like magic and pulled me in. I found myself hovering over the stove, my mouth salivating at the sight below me.

Jin had prepared a good amount of food and it all looked intoxicating.

There was a reason I had never been slim in my life. I loved food too much to give it up. For a good portion of my life, I had considered becoming a chef. However, after finding out from professional chefs that they hardly cooked at home due to their vocation, I let go of that possibility. It thrilled me when I made a dish for my loved ones. It was more important to me to create something for my family to enjoy than it was to create something for complete strangers. I had other skills, so it wasn't too heartbreaking to let go of that dream.

"It should be done already," Jin said as he took a spoon to get a taste. After tasting it, he gave a nod of approval and turned off the stove. Then, pretty expertly, he finely chopped some green onion and began to set the food up on different dishes.

I tried to help, but he swatted me away and demanded to wash my hands so I would be ready to eat. I gave a small pout but did as I was told.

It was our fourth date. The previous ones had all been different. The first date had been a very nice dinner. We had gone on a nice walk along the river once during sunset on our second date. Not many people were present, so we were able to feel a little at ease. And on the last date, we went to a bar and had a private room to ourselves where he showed me how to play pool. It was there that I mentioned to him I loved to cook. My mother developed arthritis when I was very young. She loved cooking, but due to her condition, she decided to teach me everything she knew. Since then, I had always cooked for myself. Other than take-out and at restaurants, no one had ever cooked for me since then.

"Well, that's about to change," he had said with a voice of conviction.

It was the confidence that made my heart flutter and made me feel a little hot. Truth be told, while Jin was physically gorgeous, his face nor his shoulders were his best attributes. The most attractive thing about Kim Seokjin was his confidence. There was a self-assuredness he carried with him that took hold of my attention. He didn't seem to like someone in his 20s; more like well into his 30s.

I had to admit, it was definitely a nice change from dating guys who didn't know themselves very well and questioned everything they did.

Jin managed to take all the plates to the table himself. He took out a nice bottle of wine as well. A warm smile on his face, and his warm brown eyes met mine as he pulled a chair out for me.

His gentlemanly ways were also gaining a lot of points.

Once I was settled in my seat, he sat across from me and we started to eat.

The conversation was the same as our others: giving small bits of information about our personal lives. Every now and then we shared stories or info that went a little deeper.

I opened up about the stress I felt financially. I was doing ok, but there were times that I wished I had a little more so I didn't have to be so frugal with my money. Thankfully, I had gained the promotion, so that had taken much of the pressure off my shoulders.

Jin then went on to share his struggles of being an idol. What bothered him more than anything was the inability not to do whatever he wanted. He felt restraints coming from all over.

I had known him for not even a month, but I believe I had learned how to read his face and energy a little more clearly. As he spoke of his lack of freedom, I felt the heartbreak.

Jin didn't seem to wallow in disappointment too much because he began to list all the things he enjoyed about his job. One of his favorites was touring. However, that came with a negative.

"I get to see different cities, cultures, and most importantly, fans. But then I'm away from home. It's difficult to stay in contact with loved ones from another country. Calling family and friends becomes a struggle," he said as he took a sip of his wine.

His voice had a slight hint of sadness. I kept my eyes on him and listened intently.

"We're set to go back on tour in a few weeks and we have some things to do on our schedule for America. Prepping for the tour and schedule is going to be quite busy," he said, his mouth turned downward.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked, a feeling of disappointment creeping in just a little.

I had gotten so used to him these last few weeks. On top of our dates, we had talked on the phone and messaged each other almost every day now. Hearing that communication wouldn't be the same was disheartening.

"A little over a month." He looked up, catching my eyes.

Quietly, I nodded. I took a slow bite of the food, letting the information he was giving me sink in.

This was one of the many reasons I didn't want to date an idol. They had hectic schedules that didn't give them much of a personal life. The communication between us came in waves throughout the day as it was. Sometimes, I would go hours without hearing from him, but then we would be talking non-stop for a solid two hours. His schedule wasn't consistent, so I was left checking my phone every ten minutes.

Yeah, dating an idol wasn't a good idea. Maybe after he left for his tour he would forget about me. By the time he came back, he might stop calling me and find some other chick to laugh at his jokes and drool over his gorgeous face.

How long until he left, though? How many more dates did I have until Kim Seokjin walked out of my life?

There was a slight cramp in my chest all of a sudden. I coughed it up to heartburn and tried to ignore it.

"When will you be leaving for the tour?" I asked, trying to sound casual as the jab in my chest deepened.

"In a couple of weeks." His eyes stayed on me as if trying to get a reading out of me.

I felt taken aback. "Two weeks?!"

He gave a slight nod but didn't say anything. His eyes followed me closely.

My stomach started to feel a little unsettled now. What the hell did I eat that was making me feel so bad all of a sudden?

"That's not too long from now," I said, wondering why I was sounding pouty.

"I wanted to see you as often as I could before things got too busy," he then began. "I don't have any days free, but there are gaps late in the day where we can hang out. Or you can probably come on set and hang out behind the scenes."

I frowned at this. "Girls are allowed to come around?"

"Yeah. Some of the other guys have girlfriends too and they come around while we're—" his eyes became wide as he caught himself.

I had caught it as well. "Other guys have girlfriends, too." I felt my cheeks get hot.

Suddenly, that self-confident guy disappeared. "I didn't mean to say 'too'. Sorry, that's a mistake. Of course, I don't consider you my girlfriend—I haven't asked you properly yet, so—" he stumbled on his words once more and his eyes grew wider with worry and embarrassment.

I was finding the room pretty stuffy and warm. I took a sip of water, trying to cool myself.

"Not yet, I meant that if you were to be my girlfriend, I would definitely ask and not just assume. It would be very impolite of me to do that and I want you to know that I very much respect you." Jin was speaking so fast that I had trouble believing his lips were actually moving.

Thump!

The sudden crashing noise made the two of us jump in our seats. Jin let out a scream of shock. I covered my head out of impulse. I didn't do well with loud noises.

"Oh, sorry," came a gruff voice off in the distance.

"Ah, Yoongi-ah," Jin said. "You scared me."

Seeing that nothing bad had occurred following the noise, I felt it safe to peek out of my arms and turn to where the noise and voice had come from.

A slim figure wearing all black was straightening a lamp up. That's probably what had fallen down.

My arms came down and I took some breaths to try to slow my heart rate.

The slim figure shuffled his way a little closer to us. He looked like a sloth by his slow movements. He had a bucket hat on that was covering half his face; I wasn't completely sure if he was even human.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" Jin asked in a scolding manner. "You're sick, remember?"

Sloth man let out a low grunt. "Need more tea."

"The kettle is on," Jin informed him. "Want me to prepare it?"

"I got it." The sloth creature finally reached us. He glanced at me and he gave a light greeting gesture. "I'm Yoongi."

I introduced myself to him, giving him a smile after meeting his eyes. Yeah, he was a guy. A very sick-looking guy.

As Yoongi made his way toward the kettle, I noticed the clock on the wall. Shit, I really needed to get home. I had something due for work tomorrow. Jin knew this and had agreed to take me home by a certain time.

"Jin—the time," I said, motioning him to take a look at the clock.

Jin turned and let out a curse under his breath, which he quickly apologized for. "I'll call a car. It shouldn't take them too long to get here." He took out his phone to make the call.

"Can I use your restroom?" I asked, getting up from my seat.

Jin nodded, pointed to the hall Yoongi had walked out of a bit ago and gave me directions on how to get there.

I couldn't imagine how long I had stayed over. I had hoped it would only be two hours, but we had doubled that. I sent my coworkers a quick email letting them know my portion of the work might get to them a little late. Truth was that I was done with it, but still wanted to go over it one final time before submitting it.

After I was done, I came out of the restroom. I was walking down the hall and about to enter the living room when I heard Jin and Yoongi talking. I caught my name, so I pulled back and decided to hear what they had to say.

"You're lucky I was here. I saved you from that embarrassment," I heard Yoongi say with a light chuckle.

"What embarrassment?" Jin asked defensively.

Yoongi let out a low laugh. "You were making a fool out of yourself with her. Kept stumbling over your words. You should have seen how red you got."

"How long have you been watching us?!" Jin demanded.

"A while."

"A while?!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you have no perception of time with her. I agreed to stay there for two hours. You should be grateful because I sent the young ones a message to not come home for another two hours. They would have walked through that door and made things worse for you." Yoongi's voice definitely sounded sick, but he sounded extremely perky.

Jin let out a grunt. "That would have been a pain to deal with."

"I should have recorded it though and sent it to them."

"What?"

"How you look with her. Really, you couldn't keep your eyes off her as you blabbered on about how much you respect her."

Smack!

Yoongi let out a laugh then a groan. "That hurt."

"I think it's time you go."

"I gotta say goodbye first. It would be very impolite of me. And I very much respect her—" he started to say with a mocking tone.

Smack!

Another laugh and groan from Yoongi. "Ow. You haven't hit me that hard in years. You must really like her."

"Out," Jin demanded.

Yoongi let out another chuckle. "Ok, ok, ok."

I knew I couldn't stay hidden anymore. I pretended as if I had just walked out of the restroom and Yoongi and I met at the end of the hall, next to the living room.

Yoongi made eye contact with me as he held onto his tea. He greeted me, saying my name pretty loud. I knew he was making sure Jin heard. "It was nice meeting you," he said while he bent his neck.

I bent mine back to him. "Nice to meet you as well."

"I'm sure I'll see you again," he said with a smirk and walked away.

I saw him disappear into the hall. Turning back, I saw Jin walking towards me.

He gave a small smile. "There was a driver nearby. He should be downstairs shortly." He motioned towards the door.

I made my way over to him and together we put on our sweaters and shoes. Jin made sure to put on his mask, just in case anyone outside caught us.

Once downstairs at the entrance, there was a black van waiting for us. We made our way in and were driven to my apartment.

We spoke a little on our ride.

Once we reached my apartment complex, Jin insisted on walking me to my front door.

As we made our way into the building, I asked for one of the recipes he had used, but he refused to give it to me.

"Why can't I have it?" I asked with mocking irritation.

"I'd rather teach it to you," he explained. "We'll do it all together. Prepping, cleaning, mixing, cooking. It'll be fun."

An image of Jin and I cooking together came into view and I couldn't help but feel the excitement. Cooking was something I always enjoyed doing and every date I'd had with Jin had been quite meaningful. To combine both things, I was sure he would have me melting.

"I'll look forward to it," I said as I stopped. We arrived at my door.

"So this is your place?" he asked, nodding to the door.

I gave a nod and looked into his beautiful features. "Thank you for today. It was nice to have someone else cook for once."

"It was my pleasure." His voice was low and sultry as he took a step closer. There was a look in his eye that I had seen before in guys. And the half smirk on his lips told me I was right on my suspicions.

My heart rate began to spike. I opened my mouth to come up with an excuse for needing to hurry inside, but the words never came out.

Pillowy, soft lips were gently placed on my lips. The feeling of warm, large hands came on either side of my hips, pulling me closer to him. My eyes closed as my heart fluttered. Butterflies flew all around my stomach once I felt his lips move along mine. I lightly felt the tip of his tongue brush on my top lip. Instinctively, my arms came around his neck, holding him tight. My lips moved against his as well. He went on to hold onto my bottom lip and tugged at it using the right amount of suction. The kiss was soft and gentle at first, making me feel like I was in the clouds. But slowly, it became a little intense. On tongues stayed inside our mouths, but the movement of his lips and how they nibbed at mine with the right amount of pressure...made me feel like my skin was on fire.

I heard a noise come out of me I had never heard before. And I felt the smirk upon his lips immediately following the noise. He was so damn proud of himself.

And I hated him.

Hated him for the way he kissed.

-------------------

Chapters : 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05(M) | 06(M) | 07

MASTERLIST

[dojae-huh]

hii.....how is ur weekend....

As Someone already made the spoiler for haechan's story I want to say something on that matter...I mean if he really had a troubled teenage and a messy family....then i think dy must have played a big role n his life...let me explain...

when I got into nct becoz of savage dy..the youtube shorts made me hook...and as I watched lot more content of nct..frankly saying I hated haechan really very badly...he was such an annoying kid especially to dy even I felt how much irritated dy was...he was really teased dy not jokingly very seriously..not only haechan other members too but he did annoyed more..it was mainly that period when jn and dy included in 127 ...so I thought haechan didnt like him...when the rolling paper happend ..do u remember ??where heachan wrote to dy that do u love me?? I love u...kind of words..and i thought it was for the camera and to convince the fans that they didnt hate dy ...god i dont knw that time how much I hated haechan even though he is young...may be I was too young to understand that...

Would u believe me if I said hyuck is a moody too...yes as I watched some vlives i have noticed that he is moody sometimes and not a bright and happy kid always...just that he is expert at wearing mask....then slowly I realized that all my interpretation was wrong and haechan was just a kid who needs affection,care,love and attention...that is his charecter...he is a great attention seeker ...to get it he would do anything...and I dont have to explain how well dy can give attention and affection as much as one needed.and dy can sympathize well with anyone may b he did it with hyuck too....so i think here is when haechan really started to fall for dy..he wanted a emotional support and a matured hyung whom can really take care of him...and dy did well ..even tho hyuck annoyed he still cared nd loved haechan ...dy is not that emotionally strong himself still he is the hyung he knw what to do when it comes to his babies...I think that's when they become the real brothers who supports each other well....and finally I understand when hyuck whined about dy's unconditional love for jeno it was not for the content ..it was from his heart...funny tho..

I think it was the reason with jungwoo too...if u watch his episode u would knw...I dont want spoil...but I could say this much..eventhough woo didnt fall into kids category and not as close as hyuck..still dy did take care of him and also always ready to shower him with love and affection...he still does that even during djj ....and always praise and support him...may be dy could have thought he is really someone who need to be take care and needs love...u will understand when u watch it...

And finally I really think dy is such a great person...coz what he experienced in his schooldays still happens in his present life too...and still he laugh it off...god I dont want to spoil...but u knw...u will knw...I really felt hard when I watched it...please write about it when u watch it...sorry for the long ask...and thankyou for ur work...have a nice weekend...

All neos comment how annoying Haechan is, they both love him and have hard time tolerating for long.

I guess one of the clips you've seen was Do's call to dreamies and Hyuk hanging up on him. It is easy to make the wrong impression watching cut outs. It takes time with idols to get to know them better and change the initial wrong opnion or prejustice, it's normal. Many overcome it with Do, I've heard.

It took time to become 2Dongs, but in Limitless era 2Dongs were a thing,

Here is Hyuk consoling crying Doyoung who was giving a speech about his first award as a part of 127 in January 2017.

And I agree, I think Do knew about Hyuk's family and it made him initially be more tolerating of Hyuk. When Hyuk matured, their relationship developed from gratitude from Hyuk's side to a family bond.

You can often see Hyuk going to go sit with Do quietly bts. If you haven't seen Hyuk's BD live with guesting Do, I recommend it. It shows how they are in a non-variety environment well, I think.

Yes, Doyoung literally said:

I disagree about Doyoung not being emotionally strong, he is very strong. He gets emotional easily, but he overcomes it, he perseveres despite his sensitivity. His emotions don't destroy him or make him weak. And not only he gets rid of his own insecurities and develops antifragility, he helps with the emotional burden of many other people. Emotionally weak person won't be able to be a parent and a pillar figure to so many really struggling people. And for an empath like Doyoung, he does not just hear others out and gives them the shoulder to cry on, he lives those emotions himself. Meaning, he deals with his emotions and with emotions of others.

I think we, fans, tend to forget how an idol's burden is tenfold in comparison to most commoners. The things they go through would break others easily. Their tears are not from spilled coffee.

[lake-archive]

Chapter 1 - We're Back!

AO3 Link

Fandom: Ensemble Stars

Series: Der Weg Zum Erfolg

Characters: Izumi Sena, Anja-Sophia 'Ann' Wolff (OC), Nyeli / Patch (OC by @watersofcamelot)

Masterlist - Next Chapter

The past few months, the visible gap during that time… Of course this was no longer the case by the time the interviews had taken place.

It was just one question after the other and no one knew how to take a break. Sometimes it were the literal same questions and as much of a pain it had been Izumi was forced to answer every single one. ‘Why did you take a break?’ or ‘Have you considered retiring by any chance?’ Followed up by ‘Is there anything your fans have to be worried about?’ or ‘We do not have to hope for a sudden retirement, do we?’ 

Of course Izumi reassured them every single time, putting on that smile and making sure that all those worries would just melt away. What good of an idol would he be if he didn’t? The public does not need to worry, especially his fans. They shouldn’t have to concern themselves with his problems. That was for him to sort put and no one else. They should just keep looking up to him, their favorite idol!

That was the bearable part. Because all of these interviews also had their annoying parts. There were things solely based on rumor, things the public had cooked  up in his absence. Honestly, the ideas people would get. ‘Did your agency kick you out?’ or even daring to ask if he was busy scouting a successor. But these rumors were all in all not the worst probably… Except for one which may as well be the equivalent of a sting. 

‘ Did you find a partner? ’

How dare people even assume that!? Ugh, but of course it was the first thing which would come to most people’s minds. Taking a break to be all lovey dovey with someone… Seriously, what is wrong with people sometimes!? And yet… They were not wrong. But that was hardly the reason why he had retired. This had no play in his decision whatsoever and honestly only happened after that decision had been made.

But not like the public could know about this. It was yet another thing Izumi had to keep under wraps. Imagine an idol dating… Yeah, the tragedy. How outrageous. Could you really call yourself an idol if you happened to have a partner? Not a friend, no. A lover. How dare you do that as an idol!? Oh the  trouble it would cause, more than it was worth. Why did Izumi take the risk then? Well, he was not going to deny a relationship but… That didn’t mean he would put his work aside. And he really didn’t blan to be overly vocal about it either. Besides, he was sure that she preferred it that way as well. She was not someone who liked any type of spotlight to begin with, at least not the type where her face was known to the general public. So none of the two really minded.

Honestly though, if you had asked him months ago he would have described her as the following: A clumsy, incompetent piece of work who doesn’t know how to respect others. Short, messy hair, bags under her eyes, pale skin and always wearing old yet simple clothing. 

And… Alright, some habits still apply. She’s clumsy and the insecurity is no secret whatsoever. She tends to mess up simple tasks sometimes and cannot keep herself together in that regard. In some spaces she may as well be banned… No, literally. No sane person would let her touch a stove unless held at gunpoint or they have a death wish. Not to mention that she surely needed guidance with how she presented herself, there was no doubt about it. And her broken speech at points could still be somewhat tough to listen to. She still had a lot of work to do!

But that didn’t mean that he hated her or something. And she was not all just that. She was trying her best, no matter what, and her stubbornness can do more good than harm. Otherwise things would have taken an ugly turn back then… If it had not been for her kick starting it. And… Well… She was still as lively as he remembered her to be. Looks like deep down she had not changed over the years. 

Yeah, even with over a decade having passed when the two met again he came to realize that Ann was still like the little girl he remembered. Of course she had grown up by then but… Ugh, no need to explain it! He should’ve made his point clear by now! Patch would have not been in better hands.

Ah, speaking of Patch, this tiny creature with cat–like features had been staring at Izumi for some time now, nubs crossed and puffing both of his cheeks as if he was a hamster instead. One could poke one of the cheeks and feel just with how much air they were filled. And that was exactly what Izumi did for a little while. In fact Patch had been like this for some time. Even when he started growing and talking a little more he was still a stubborn one as well sometimes. Ann had probably rubbed off Patch or something like that.

“Would you talk already?” Izumi asked in a slightly annoyed tone, continuing to try to get a word out of the kitty by poking the airy cheeks a little more. But all it did was make his ears wag and the tail sway across the table. “Who taught you to be a stubborn kid? Good grief…”

“He's just wanting to… Uhm… Mitkommen… Ähm… ” The conversation would be coming to an abrupt halt when hearing a third voice of someone who had just entered the room. The first one to react was Patch who made his cheeks shrink from one moment to the next and hopped up from one moment to the next, all to look past the male in front of him and spot whoever it was. “Sisnya!” He even said in his rather high pitched voice before jumping off the table to most likely into his ‘Sisnya’s’ arms. 

It had also made Izumi turn around to spot the person in question, though of course also seeing Patch nuzzling against said person. “Took you long enough.” He sighed. 

“S… Sorry. The translation—”

“Ny… Nye! Sisnya help Nyeli! Nye!” But of course no one would get to finish here as Nyeli seemed to have his complaints and his aim was wanting to be heard. “N… Nye! Travel nye! Brothnya my… myean! Nye!” All accompanied with a sudden pout. 

It was not unusual behavior for Patch nowadays… Or Nyeli as most others called him. Both worked for the kitty so Izumi stuck with the name he had given the cat some time ago… Or cat–like being as he only had the tail and ears of a cat. But that was beside the point. Fact was that he could be like a stubborn kid who was clinging onto various people. Kuma–Kun was probably the one he clung onto the most. Yet besides him there was also Ann and recently Izumi had been one of those people yet again. After a decade or more absent from another’s lives as well as having had a terrible start where both did not get along. ‘ He wants to make up for lost time ’ one might claim yet Patch should slowly learn to understand the difference between work and free time. Besides, he had started to grow, much to anyone’s surprise. And that had resulted in Naru–Chan buying Patch more than a wardrobe full of clothing… But that’s another story entirely. Needless to say, he had to grow out of his behaviors if he keeps growing like this.

“Mean? Erm… Nyeli, I don’t think–”

“For the last time! Patch, you cannot tag along!” Izumi had an almost scolding tone, gaze a little sharp but not too much. He had no intention of going too easy on Patch. He had to learn about some things! “I’m not going on a vacation!”

“Nyeli too!” 

“No means no!”

“ Also geht es doch um Florenz… ” Whatever Ann had mumbled Patch seemed to have understood, nodding. Then again, it was only natural since he lived with her for years, back in Germany… “ Nyeli, du kannst nicht mitkommen. ” 

Yet did that do anything!? Whatever she said… Not really, it had the kitty pout yet again, ears up. “Sisnya…”

Another sigh from her mouth however as she ruffled through the little one’s black hair, trying to calm him down. “ Arbeit ist Arbeit. Da kann man nichts machen. ”

It was embarrassing that Izumi did not understand a word Ann had just said… If it was in English at least but… That’d be too much to ask for. He had to try his luck but judging from her expression as well as Patch’s reaction… It was about him not getting to accompany the model to Florence, wasn’t it? 

“Listen to her, will you?” He agreed… Oh how embarrassing it would be if he got it wrong… 

Then again, the cat’s cheeks puffed up even more. Bull’s-eye. “Nye…”

“Wait… Did I… In German…” Her gaze shot between Patch and Izumi for a moment, then looking beyond embarrassed, beet red even. “Ah! So sorry! I just… Erm…”

“Nevermind. I think we are both on the same page anyways.” He sighed as he stepped closer, only to yet again poke one of the airy, puffy cheeks. “Hey, keep it up and your face is going to permanently look like this.” But that didn’t stop Patch. He qas just going to be pouty for a while, wasn’t he?

“W… Well… Yeah but–”

“He’ll calm down soon enough.”

She only nodded in response, even if weakly. “But wait… Your flight–”

“I still have some time left. Don’t worry about it.” He decided to assure her, his hand moving away from the puffed up cheek. “Shouldn't you get back to work though?”

“Ah– R… Right! Not forgetting, just…”

“Hey, no excuse for slacking!”

“You sounding like some boss!?” A clear protest, a bit clumsily phrased but it got the point across… For now.

“You really have a lot more to work on than the papers on your desk.” Izumi sighed but what else did he expect? 

“Who just passed by to distract?”

“Oh no, I just came here to say goodbye before I leave.” 

“Ah, rea–”

But he would not let her finish that sentence. Instead he quickly cut her off with a simple gesture. All he did was lean a little in from the side, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before pulling back. It was very short lived but apparently enough to get her to shut her mouth and stare for a moment, steaming red shortly after. That girl sometimes… Well, whatever. 

Though maybe it did leave him with a small grin on his face, seeing her flustered like this… Some things just never change, do they? “Hey, don’t just stand there. Get back to work.” He may have said yet let out a chuckle when walking past her and Patch, at first seeming to just walk out the room… That was until he turned around to look back at the duo, unable to hold back a small smile. 

“I’ll be back soon, you hear?”

Yeah, very soon. And he was going to look forward to it.

Thoughts Izumi never thought he would have when it came to those two… But here he was. Just waiting for what was lying ahead this time…

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